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van | Van: a video gamer | 069 | 2007- | 01/29/09 | M | A | I was having sexual intercourse with my high school sweetheart Cindy. I was doing it long and hard. She'd cummed all over herself. Her vagina was a frothy mess. I kept pounding her. I was working my way into her. But we knew her parents were coming home. Oh well. I wanted to finish. But then I saw her parents' white minivan pull up through the window. We stopped just as they walked in. I turned on the TV and a movie just started. It was a dumb movie, Home Alone. I put on pants really fast. But there was no hiding it. "That's sex hair if I ever saw it," her dad said. I said something stupid, like, "we were just trying to finish the movie -- get to the part where he battles the guys, shoots them with the bb gun." | 1FKA, 2JKA, 1MKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 070 | 2007- | 01/29/09 [nap] | M | A | Trying to use the computer in my uncle's store in another country. The police have come by. Somebody has stolen something. It's not bad, but the police are strangely responsive. Why? There is political unrest about. A demagogue is rallying his troops to prey on xenophobia and fears of terrorism. I'd taken hundreds of photos. I was trying to set up my computer. I hid it underneath the frozen pizzas, my computer. The store is like a small grocery store, the kind with an Asian bent. The air is thick with the smell of raw fish and vegetables soaking into the walls for many unbroken years. | 2MOA, 1ISA, 2MPA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 071 | 2007- | 01/30/09 | M | A | It was a rainy place, but the buildings were tall and glass and concrete. Inside was safe, albeit a bit gray and musty. The signs were greenish. The culture here was Asian, and the place I was staying, martial arts predominated as a pastime. I was taking atae kwan do class. Only it was special, mystical, more advanced. The teacher was a big guy, that very typical westerner who uses immersion into an aspect of Asian culture to help him forge some individuality, or re-invent his identity. He reminded me of Doug (a friend from college who dealt drugs and enjoyed practicing kung fu), but more self-assured in his form. I took the class. Suddenly, I found myself wearing a uniform. The uniform was more decorated than the others. The other students all wore white. Mine was white, but with black hems. At the end of the class, the instructor announced, does anyone want to spar? I said, "Me, I'm black belt certified. I can fight." I was feeling the tickles of adrenaline begin to spine into my system, throttling up my heart, tensing the muscles behind my eyes. "You're black belt certified," he asked? He was getting ready to fight anyway, eager to take on one of his challenging students. "Yes. I'm ready now," I said. The other students stepped back. A small rectangular ring materialized on the floor. It was always there, cordoned off by white lines of tape. I ignored it until now. He started in right away. I said "woah, woah. Wait. We need to bow first." He said, "oh, right. Sorry." We bowed, took positions, then began. He was much bigger than me, towering over me by what seemed like a head. He was big, perhaps a bit fat. I'd need to punch hard, and deep. I needed to find openings in his defenses, and make each punch drill into his core, using the shockwaves to reverberate through his fat and muscle. When we began fighting, I went inward a little. This was the mystical aspect of fighting here. Fighting was more than just fists and kicks. A HUD came up. It showed my training level -- 60. And his -- 100. This wasn't a fair fight. But I knew, for my level of training, I was better than most. During the first round, he didn't land a single solid blow. I hit him in the chest three, four, five times with rapid-fire bursts. But somehow, the announcer said I'd lost the first round. The second round began. I had a renewed vigor. I knew I'd need to hit him even harder. I did at least as well as the first round. Again, I'd lost. And then, the third round. I hit him more in this round than the previous two combined, mostly with pummeling punches to his chest; I found that he left an area open between his arms when he raised them up to protect his face. Because I was shorter, I was able to jab upward, and hit him square in the sternum. He didn't hit me once. But again, the judge registered the round as a loss for me. He said, "good match," and went off. I vowed to train harder. Then, the judge came up. I asked to see the replay. It showed on my HUD, from his perspective. He was using power-ups! This fight wasn't about raw skills, punches, kicks and damage. It was about points scored. And his power-ups, which, apparently, he'd spent most of his training working on, were worth a lot of points. Advanced speed. Rapid block. Heath boost. One after the other, at the beginning of the battle, he'd buffed up. These third-level boosts were apparently worth more than all my punches combined. And he didn't even need to hit me. I caught up with him, and said, "hey, that's not fair -- you used special moves. You didn't even hit me." He said, "Yeah, well, if I hit you, I could have taken your head off in one punch." Yeah, right. I'd like to have seen him try. I pulled up my own HUD. Wow. Lo and behold, I had buffs of my own. Mostly level 1, with a few level two. There were four levels, to my knowledge. You can't get any buffs until much later levels anyway. This system wasn't competition. I wanted a fight. The judge, she picked up on this. She offered to take me on in a fight without power-ups. I said, "yes, thank you." We went to a parking lot, and began to fight. She came at me fast and furious, with spins and kicks. I was able to dodge these. But her specialty, low disabling kicks, and especially ground-level leg sweeps, were tricky. They tripped me up. I didn't fall, but I looked foolish in trying to avoid these moves. I wasn't able to land a punch. The round ended. She'd won the first round. The human judges here, they work in intangibles. The HUD, strictly form and score. She'd used more advanced moves, and was ranked higher. The second round began . This time, I was ready. When she moved in close, I grabbed her, and threw her. She stumbled and nearly went down. She was a tall woman, solid, with bones that seemed larger than most men's '. But I was still stronger, and faster. She wasn't as high rank as the teacher, but still higher than me -- a rank around 75 or 80. The second round ended. The colored bars on the scoreboard in the HUD flashed green -- her victory. And then red -- my victory. The third round began. It ended in a draw -- it was interrupted. The restaurant opened up in the parking lot, and people began to walk in from all around. It was a Thai-style western establishment. Like KFC. And then as I walked in, the people working there were the hopeless crowd in the town where I went to high school. Cayla, Michelle, those people (who I went to high school with). They were wearing those damn company branded polo shirts, looking at me with that same cockeyed look that I can never figure out. Almost as if they're waiting for the next stupid thing for me to say. | 1MOA, 2JOA, 1MKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 072 | 2007- | 01/30/09 | M | A | I am in a place that reminds me of Italy. Studying abroad. I'm part of a program with my roommates from Brussels -- Katie, Ashley. We have a mission to do. Sort of clandestine. Other friends, closer friends come to help. I end up getting lost around the big company elevators in the main building in the company tower that's rising from the middle of this old city. I need to get inside to get some documents for what I think is a story. I end up in a wine store and get turned around in the old viaducts that are made from old brick and such. | 2FKA, 2JKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 073 | 2007- | 02/03/09 | M | A | A horrible series unfolded. I was a sadistic killer. It began when I was visiting family friends who had a house in Thailand. I had the feeling I had been there before, but didn't have any direct recollection. So, when most of the people were out, I took one of them into a back room, pissed in a tray, and made her eat out of it until she threw up. I planned on doing worse, but felt sick myself and wished I wasn't doing what I was doing. It was like killing an animal out of mercy. You try to make it as quick as possible, but the sickening moment when you know suffering, no matter how fast, is inevitable... It makes your stomach turn. You want to look away from what your hands are doing. The place is square, with a steel roof and concrete floors. | 2JKA, 1FKA, 1ANI | SD D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 074 | 2007- | 02/03/09 | M | A | Had another dream, but I don't remember it. The vibes of it, though, remind me of a dream I had in the past where I was floating -- or trying to get around -- in this very Southern California-like place that had concrete-bottomed inner-city rivers, like lion country safari water park wild rivers in the city where I was born. I was in a meeting, trying to climb a tree off in a park area a little ways away from the network of rivers that were abused by the public. My bike was laying down under one of the trees. The concrete rivers were far ranging, but in many parts, hazardous and drained with hazards like shopping carts in them. I wanted to jump across and play, but felt inhibited, like I was being watched. Someone came up to me as I was under the tree. There were red berries there -- firm, and poisonous, like the kind behind my neighbor's house when I lived in the city where I was born as a kid. | 1ISA, 1ISA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 075 | 2007- | 02/08/09 | M | A | I dreamed that Barack Obama was my father. I'd never felt so awe-struck around any man before in my life. It was as if he was on tour. He came to visit me in Thailand. I met him and his large limo. We visited a school. He was spouting wisdom with every step. I felt energized and exhilarated just being in his presence. I felt like I was somehow a better man to be in his entourage. I didn't want any special treatment, being around him. But from the jaw-drop reactions, the paralyzed stares as we walked around, it was hard not to feel special. Before we went to the school, we stopped at a gas station/clothing store. Obama jumped in with fervor, selecting acceptable, but still down to earth and local clothes. He pulled out one coat, a pair of slacks, and folded them over his arm. Who cares if I thought the clothes were a bit off. He's the president, and more than that, he is who he is. His clothes would work either way. While he was meticulously selecting his wardrobe for his Asia tour to look more local, and to contribute to the local workers, I sat with Jasmine, a woman I met on a trip, who met me at the garage. I told her, Barack Obama is my father. She said she didn't know who that was. Inside, I was incredulous. I was embarrassed and I liked her a whole lot less. She followed with us the rest of the trip, and I felt ashamed in front of Obama to have her along. At least she knows who Britney Speares is. I walk alongside him. He's tall, almost like a lanky giant. Taller than most men. And we go to a classroom. There, he talks to the students, but says to me, son, let's walk. Tell me about your school, your plans. I felt embarrassed telling him my petty aspirations. I'm writing a book. He's written two. I'm going to write for a new newspaper, which writes about him every day. He sounds impressed. I tell him about adventures sneaking into a dorm. We are on a campus, after all. He doesn't seem to get it. Maybe I'm not explaining it right. We go back after circling the campus. He mixes up the state's main public university with one of the other state universities. I tell him that's like calling a boy a girl. He has a test now. He leaves and comes back two minutes later with a box. Inside are a few sheets of white paper with instructions handwritten. We'd need to find our way to a point, then watch for a splash of a pebble in the water, then get the pebble out -- or something to that affect. The other boy playing along -- they dive in and randomly search for the rock, shaped like a mitten hand, until they come up with one -- but it's the wrong one. They didn't follow instructions. He is quiet along the bank, runs up and throws the right rock then hides among the muddy weeds. Can he do that? Didn't they see him? I guess not. He took a gamble. And aren't there massive crocodiles in this lake? Couldn't the boys get hurt? I found a lot of things wrong or risky in the things he did. But he's Obama, it doesn't matter. | 1MPA, 2JOA, 1FKA, 2JOA | AP D, AP D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 076 | 2007- | 02/11/09 | M | A | Drinking/kissing game in a group out of a big dirt pit we'd dug. Back in high school. This could have been with Jillian (a friend from high school). | 2JKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 077 | 2007- | 02/13/09 | M | A | I was prepping for a huge test. Everyone had to take it. It was like a post-college SAT. Like the GRE. I felt like I'd destroy it. Utterly conquer it. So I didn't take it seriously. Before the test, the school decided to throw a "relax" festivity party with football and soccer, with all you can eat buffets. I tried to play multiple games. The other guys were fast in football, but I thought I had a good chance. I began playing. I told them, just snap it to me and we'll see what happens. The snap came from a guy named Shod; fat black guy who I played basketball with in high school. It was a bad snap. I had to run to go get the ball when it went over my shoulder. They were on me faster than I thought, but I still got a lot of yards. I decided to get a hotel to stay and study the night before the test. It was instantly cut short, leaving us to wait and mill around in a cafe room with high-top tables. Nora, Shaun's girlfriend (Shaun is a friend from college who I recently visited), came on to me. I was sharing a room with her at the hotel I checked out. We were in various states of undress. I could feel the heat and slick of her wet parts. She was rubbing on me. I evidently said "forget it" and she was sad. | 2JKA, 1MKA, 1FKA, 1MKA | SD 1MKA |
van | Van: a video gamer | 078 | 2007- | 02/14/09 | M | A | I found myself at a hostel about to leave. There I met two girls, one was very small and reminded me of Stephanie Bussell (a high school acquaintance). She had the better looks, but the vivaciousness of a dolt. Then there was the other one, and "available" big boobed Stephanie, like the girl from a Southern state I'd met in Bangkok. She was sleeping around, I know, but when I went back to her hotel with her. Like always, there's chemistry, but I don't act on it. Instead, I go for the cold fish, She wants to play along with the orgy atmosphere of this place we're in so she accepts me when I make an advance; but she's prickly about it. When she pulls her legs back and lies down, and I put it in, she yelps, ouch ouch ouch ouch. I say forget this and sloppily touch on the drunken Stephanie. Her boops are bare and flapping. But she's too drunk to have sexual intercourse. I say forget it and go back to my hotel. She follows me. "I like you. I wanted you to come in me and all over me. Come back. I'll let you come between my breasts," she says. I consider it, but don't act. I wake up. | 1FKA, 1FKA, 1FKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 079 | 2007- | 02/18/09 | M | A | I was in the donut shop working with my father. I couldn't make the cinnamon rolls quite right. Australian customers come in. They were strange and demanding. One was pretty, the rest were dirty travelers. How did they get here anyway? The gay one was scraped up, like a scrawny dog. My father was in the back re-organizing. | 1MKA, 2JSA, 1FSA, 1ANI | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 080 | 2007- | 02/19/09 | M | A | Reluctantly going into the national geographic store. Walking in I wondered how the whole entrance/exit procedure worked. The sales girl made a personal case of me as I looked at the tiny cameras. Why couldn't I just say, "I don't plan on buying anything." She followed me and vowed to herself to sell something. She held up a lens for me to sight. I had to choose from a white or green set of rotating coordinates. "Like a pilot's coordinates" The manager was there and said, "we're sorry, we don't think you have serious enough skills. You wouldn't know what to do. You don't know the proper technology. What are you talking about? | 1FOA, 1MOA | CO D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 081 | 2007- | 02/19/09 | M | A | I was in the city where I work prior to this, going to the movies with my brother Gerald, showing him around. Batman was showing. There were large crowds. I remember we walked past the waterfront, and had trouble finding parking on the street. | 1MKA, 5MPA, 2JSA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 082 | 2007- | 03/22/09 | M | A | On XXX Island. Woke up in the big beach house my mother was renting for me and my brothers and my sister. It was a wood-slat mansion, old, but still exuding an air of scale and imminence amid the backpacker hovels and quaint beach resorts. I was watching a movie, or that was the excuse, anyway. Really, I had witnessed a great mystery -- perhaps a window to some nascent apocalypse heralded by the arrival of gypsies and a darkening of the sky. I'd seen the runes appear, like Ankorian temples with cropped steeples, crackled with crimson veins, like river tendrils spidering down the side of a mountain, only the currents carry pulsating flows of blood. I saw the creature briefly. It was like every demoniac you'd probably seen or imagined, large, black-colored, muscle-bound and winged, only when I actually was in the presence of the fanged and brimstone-smelling thing, I couldn't help but despair beyond any rationality. Though the thing soon left, and I was left to prepare. | 1FKA, 2MKA, 2ISA, 1CZZ | SD D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 083 | 2007- | 03/22/09 | M | A | I was late for a soccer game. It was supposed to begin at 7 p.m., and 7 p.m. was already here and past. I quickly gathered my things and ran down to my car. Cleats, shin guards, socks. I had some old shorts from my time playing with the vipers. I figured it didn't really matter much, since this was a reunion game. I got to the car and was pulling out when I realized I could probably use my rain jacket. It was raining moderately, and could pick up as I was waiting on the bench. I called up to my mother to throw it down from the window. Too much time passed, and I left without it. The rain let up anyway. I parked in a grassy field, with rows marked by sawed-in-half wooden telephone poles. I put on my shin guards and cleats and trotted to the field. I barely recognized my team because they still looked as young as they had. I only recognized Lawrence, the washed-out coach, when he called at me: "You here to play?" I was put in briefly, for just a few plays. I took the ball out of our defensive area and to midfield, where I crossed it to a player who eventually scored a goal, snapping the ball in from beyond the 18. I was taken out, and the game ended. I was angry that I didn't get to play more. I felt like I was at the top of my game. The coach said, "Let's wait and see. Some players are making some good plays." I didn't like him much. The game ended and I went off to the resort area. I was eyed by several girls, and eyed them back. Some of them were gypsy girls. I could tell a girl with a jagged bob, black and styled atop her head, with white skin and a black vest, was into me. But she wouldn't show it right off, nor would I. That was the game. But then a plainer, but still attractive gypsy with an accent, slightly off face, but still pretty, with long light brown hair, straight and pulled back, came up to the dining car that was sitting off the tracks and used as a little restaurant, "What room are you in?" I was skeptical at first, especially because of her strange air and her accent. I then said I am staying at a bungalow, and I don't have a room number. But I wanted to see her later. I asked what room she was in. I couldn't tell if she said "7" or "78". She had a thick accent from wherever she was. As I was about to walk out to meet this girl some more, the dark girl, putting up a pretense, said, "I'll go with you for $10, and I'm a lot better than she is." I responded with my rehearsed response to such propositions, albeit I with some hesitation, because really, I thought she might have been right about being better: "Ha-ha, sorry, I don't need to pay for what I get." I left with the accented girl and needed to return my motorcycle. I was worried that I'd lost the little rubber key. I'd just dropped the thing off. Left it. But then I realized, it would be easier to get around with a bike. I went to the long wooden shack and asked. The woman was nice. I realized it was a problem because my bike was a 1-seat only. | 2MKA, 1FKA, 1MOA, 2FSA, 1FSA, 1FSA | AN D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 084 | 2007- | 03/26/09 | M | A | The setting was like a space-oriented, semi-aquatic fallout (Fallout 3 was a game I had played recently). The setting was like a resort that had space docks for ships. I was the pilot of a ship. It was a saucer shape. I felt as if I could go anywhere and do anything with impunity. I could fight whatever giants or beasts I wanted. I could always escape, but I thought I could always win. A local girl, rough and tumble, came to me for help. I helped her, gave her direction, but it seemed as if she disobeyed the rules and ticked of a giant and ran to the safety of the resort village/spaceport overlooking the waters below. The giant chased her. It wasn't mean to begin with -- it just believed in honor and retribution. On the way back, she passed through an area that reminded me of the Korean airport. I was watching the scene unfold through her eyes. She was finally scared -- especially at having to risk drowning by diving under the water to evade the giant, which was as tall as the flimsy suspension footbridge strung across a gap in the karst cliffs over the water below. Later, as I was about to take off, she came to ask for help. But she decided she would go off on her own. I realized I wanted her to come with me, to work aboard my ship. She snidely commented that I should pay for a deckhand like anyone else. There was more -- involving going off in the hills in search of aid. | 2ANI, 1FSA, 1CZZ | AP 1FKA |
van | Van: a video gamer | 085 | 2007- | 03/27/09 | M | A | First, I was in the city where I did my newspaper internship. There was a big festival. A carnival. The streets were packed. I left and decided to just hang out with a friend. The fireworks came. They were massive and brilliant. I was sitting with her alone in a dark outdoor place. I remember seeing the faint trail of a comet in the sky; not just a far-away check mark, but a hazy spray of particulated ice. These turned into the fireworks display; I was surprised, since most municipalities are cutting back on fireworks. I said "I'm glad I didn't drive. If I did, I would have just walked home. I remember being across the river, near to my apartment. | 1FKA | CO D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 086 | 2007- | 03/27/09 | M | A | This dream segued into one where I was back in Thailand at someone's house. It was grandma's birthday or something, and we had to drive to the party they were having for her at a restaurant. I hoped it would be at a traditional Chinese restaurant, dim sum. But, alas, it was an outdoor banquet place set up in the parking lot of a strip mall. The tables all had red tablecloths on them. We arrived by car. My father was in the car. Like in Asia, I didn't trust his judgment but at the same time felt bad for him. A secret service agent or air force driver or something picked us up. We had connections. He was driving on the right side of the car. I remember not wanting to leave my headphones off, but I thought: it won't be too long. I was going to stay at the airport hotel that night, and quickly need to catch my flight back home in the morning. I remember being back at their house and trying to find the right bedroom to sleep in. All the bedrooms seemed occupied. Even the bathroom had a mattress placed into the bathtub. That worked, I guess. A little ingenious use of space -- for a person who doesn't mind living out of the bathroom. It was dark and cold in the house, like grandma's house. I remember going to the other bathroom for privacy. | 1FKA, 1MKA, 1MOA, 1IOA | SD D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 087 | 2007- | 03/27/09 | M | A | I remember these dreams in continuity, but only relative to each other. When I think deep enough about one, it triggers associations with the ones around it. And when I remember a recent dream, I tend to remember other past dreams a lot more than usual. The dream connected to the dream with family in it was next to one where I was at a resort town in Thailand. It was packed, and I was trying to find a place to stay. The only hotels available were attached to the big mega firm in the city. It had two units. Near the main road, with the front facing a street lit up with many glowing orange lights and manicured trees, busy out front with lots of people running around and taxis and cars. The front was ornately built to resemble old Chinese palaces. I walked past, knowing the clientele of this building would be very wealthy and out of my league. Like women who wear pearls. The time frame seemed to shift. But I went to the club/bar behind the main building. It was an area I knew better. From my approach, I'd never even seen the front of that main building before until now, and I feel like I'd been here before. I met some other travelers in the bar. We conspired to just find a room with an open door and walk in. We did. It was on a top floor. I remember the elevator went up. Most of them got off on preceding floors. The numbers, glowing on the panel., went up to at least 10. I got off on 10. I went into the darkened room and remember feeling a thrill of getting away with something. | 2JKA, 2JSA, 2JSA | HA D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 088 | 2007- | 03/27/09 | M | A | It was going back to 13's childhood [a character in the TV show House], when she was living with her dad and stepmother under the ocean. He was a marine researcher. She had a dream that her dad was holding up the dead head of one of her dwarf hamsters. This disturbed her. The wall to their apartment was underwater. It faced a reef, and there were many, many fish flying around outside. I remember thinking how the could manage such a great setup. It was dark and blue inside, with a hint of being cold and wet. She got into a fight with her father because she didn't want to live there anymore. And in the argument, she flung her hand and knocked off the top of their very maze-like habitrail tube structure. The section flew off, and when her dad picked up the pieces, he saw a dead hamster inside one of the segments. It was decapitated. He picked up its tiny severed head. It was light brown and white. I then entered the scene, feeling bad for the hamster, and picked up another dangerously hanging section of tube sticking out in the kitchen, shortened it, and put it in a less precarious position. There was a nest inside. | 1FKA, 1MKA, 1FKA, 2ANI, 1ANI | AP D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 089 | 2007- | 03/28/09 | M | A | There was a murderer who came into my longtime friend Chris's house, and said I will kill you, but not now. When you least expect it. I couldn't sleep well on the couch. Kept feeling smothered and hot. Prickly from the down feathers coming out. I was waiting for it, wondering -- when he does try it, would I be prepared? I wanted to act and get him. But the door was locked in the front with a key, so I couldn't escape if things turned bad. He was keeping watch, making sure none of us could leave the house. | 1MKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 090 | 2007- | 03/29/09 | M | A | I was in an office-like setting. I worked for a real estate agency like Paul Rudd in I Love You Man, the movie. There was an old, supposedly empty office building in the same complex as the functioning offices. I had gone in repeatedly, because my world had been merged with one where instant travel, dream-like strange states and weird stuff, like alternate dimensions, were the reality. I asked my boss for the task of the day. She said to go follow up on some accounts, close a deal, something like that. I had a couple numbers. I thought this should be easy. Then I went out to do this. But I needed to go inside the abandoned warehouse, which existed in its own bubble of reality. It was completely flooded at one point. The drain goes down and away to some other place in time. I didn't want to go in alone because I knew the host of that dimension, a rather scary woman who seemed like she held resentments. It was dank, old and musty like a back room of a bar I know. I'd gone in a little earlier to retrieve some of the things I'd left behind and got that very eerie vibe. Other scenes in this dream took me to an auditorium; felt like a large one on a college campus. People who I knew were there, and I think they were in on the alternate reality, but they all soon disappeared. | 1FKA, 1FSA, 2JKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 091 | 2007- | 03/30/09 | M | A | I was essentially a James Bond type character. This dream is fragmented; parts of several jumbled together. I am driving in a car, my SUV, through our old neighborhood. I go past my longtime friend Chris's old house, or rather, what used to be his house. The neighborhood had turned into one of those horrible places in Southern California where designer abodes go up on a hillside, like little micro mansions. The greenery was nice in some houses. We passed a place where old men were gathered playing poker or something. I went around the corner, and then turned around to come back past the house. They were behind a screened front porch. Reminded me of the screened porch of the units on the street across from our house in a state I used to live in. Chris said "I haven't seen this place in years." I said I hadn't either. The trip was a little escape from whatever official business I was doing back at that place. I remember driving down a rural road like the one that leads to Beth's (friend with benefits) from South Avenue leading to the north side of Lake Road. We crossed cow fields and surprisingly large swathes of clean green forest and water flows and aquatic-plant choked marshes. I remember thinking how I took such things for granted, that I should have marched out and explored these things when I still lived there. I regretted that I was no longer young and would be held accountable if I did go do that because I should know the rules by now. I had to get my passport taken. I went to a place that doubled as an auto repair place -- or was it a privately owned branch of AAA? Either way, an attractive middle-age woman helped me with my picture. It was digital, through a computer. She took several pictures, each came up on the screen. A couple were pretty good. I thanked her for taking multiples for me, since my last one was so bad. "Oh, this one is fantastic," she said. Like a lot of people who say I'm terribly attractive, I only half believe her. Go to the theater. They don't refund my money or something. There, I expect to run into some of the bad guys. They attack. I fight them off with moves like kicks and throwing daggers. I remember taking down the boss. Had a gun, but didn't use it. | 1MKA, 2MSA, 1FSA, 2MSA, 2MOA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 092 | 2007- | 03/31/09 | M | A | I was driving my car away from a school camp beside a lake. It was a bit cold, but quite nice. I felt as if I had returned to high school to perform some official task, but had other reasons too, like receiving adulation for just being myself. The roads were narrow, and trees were all around. Like a certain lake I know, but with more trees and buildings. I remember a dream I had where I visited Ms. Homan's dance school up a ladder through a hole in the floor of an office building in the mountains (She was a dance and yoga teacher. I had a crush on her. For a teacher, she was flirty). Before I went to the place where the dancers were, I found myself in a room surrounded by computer equipment. And on the walls were various portraits of U.S. presidents, but with a strange bend in the history making them seem unfamiliar. I thought I was going to catch a train, but I was in some confusion about the seats. Also, I wanted to take a computer with me to plug into my car. Most of the computers were old and worn, being kept in a garage exposed to the outdoors for many years. I found a black Dell, like the kind at school, with a Pentium 4 processor. Brute strength, not finesse, as far as processors go, but it would do. I took it out of its metal-bracketed alcove, but was surprised to find that it was attached to a sort of printer/fax combo. I hated those things. They always break. Plus, there were more plugs than I would have had accommodation for. I left it behind and got in the car to leave. I was still wearing a wet suit. I'd been doing some adventurous stuff by the lake. I went to shower at the school building where the dancers were. All the old people where there from the old days, including the African American guy LJ. I thought he graduated. Was he one of those who came back to teach at his old high school? The nostalgia, I get. But actually turning your life to point back to your past irked me. There were many young dancers, and I felt good and bad at the same time for walking through the gaggle of girls with budding breasts in leotards with my red and black wetsuit rolled halfway down. Of course, I had the excuse of going to the showers. I felt like it wasn't fair, how easily I could impress them, and perhaps take advantage of their awestruck nature. The class ended, and for some reason, I had to burn some things. There was little kindling, only flammable liquid and a vat of just-fried french fries. It was out on a fenced in yard with patchy grass and a few trees near the fence. I dumped out the fries on top of whatever it was I was supposed to burn and poured on what was left of the flammable liquid. Whoever was near me and trying to help didn't do a good job and mixed the flaming liquid with water in a fry vat. It was no good. I tried to think of ways to quickly distill it. It did light on fire, but didn't come up into the conflagration that I hoped. Back in the room that I was supposed to be staying in, there was a puddle of curdling grease surrounding the bed, with a dead deer without horns in the middle, as if its fat had emanated out into the brown foamy puddle. I wondered if I could use some of this to burn as well. It didn't bother me about the mess in the room, as I thought that it would either disappear, was supposed to be there, or someone, whoever had caused it, would come in to clean it up. I didn't intend to sleep there. After all, I had a train to catch. | 1FKA, 2IOA, 2JPA, 1MKA, 2JSA | CO D, AN D, SD D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 093 | 2007- | 03/31/09 | M | A | My pet lizard was escaping from its large enclosure as it climbed too high and was attacked by a bird. She jumped, fell, and lost her tail in the process. At the same time, my dog ran out of the house and I went to get him. The door was open, and the lizard escaped. She ran into the brush. I saw her go, but figured she'd be easy to find. I put the dog back in the house and went looking for the lizard, but couldn't find her. Eventually, I gave up, but then got a hunch -- put myself in her mind -- and got my headlamp and found her under the concrete ramp leading up to the steps. Then it was a matter of catching her without hurting her. Her tail had come off, and I put it, still moving, down on the ground to morbidly push a block or something. When I went after her, her tail had mostly grown back. I tried to position myself so that she wouldn't run under the house, but she did anyway. Oh well. | 1ANI, 1ANI, 1ANI | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 094 | 2007- | 04/03/09 | M | A | Dream in the tent with the mountain leprechauns or elves as the rain was pouring down. They tried to convince me that everything was ok, and I didn't need to worry and I could leave at any time. Though I knew it was not ok. They nearly convinced me. Can I leave now? Yes, of course. Just first come over here for a bit. I did that over and over. Like walking around a cylinder producing its own gravity in space. I was worried about my brother James. I didn't know where he was. I wanted to get out first and find him. The elves from the mountain were tricky, and I didn't trust them, but had no choice since I was so tired and a little worried. | 2ISA, 1MKA | AP D, AP D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 095 | 2007- | 04/04/09 | M | A | Dream at Nate's (a friend from high school and college) where I was in a New York style bar and the service was bad. Laura Manning was there, the girl I've never met but have drooled over since I saw her picture for the first time (we have a lot of mutual friends). She was a waitress, and we jousted over the order when she billed me for three things, expensive drinks, when I had only ordered something small. I went in and told her mean, but young and pretty, supervisor I wanted to talk to her. The supervisor looked at me, and said she wouldn't do anything, but I was allowed to talk to Laura about it. I found her, and the sexual tension pushed us to compromise. Something about me buying her skittles or something. We left together for Uncle Kong's farm. Earlier, I was in the downstairs living room of the club hill house. There were a lot of people there, and many of them were hot girls. There was one I liked in particular, and another one was attractive, but I liked her less. But of course, I only have the courage to take what I don't want, or rather, what I don't mind losing. Everyone was sleeping in the same room, in a big pile on a mattress pile on the floor. The girl I didn't like as much, but took, she was long and slender, with that translucent cafe skin that Puerto Rican girls often have. She had long straight hair, and a narrow face. Her breasts were round and firm, but not too large. I started there with my mouth. Her body arched and I went lower with my lips. I got to her lips, and before I could start on her, I realized I had to go. Shaun (a college friend) showed up and gave me a ride. His car was old. It was strange, since he acted like he had been there in the room even though he hadn't. He came on to me, and when he dropped me off at my uncle's ranch, he gave me 35 cents and said to call him. I said I had a phone already, but took the change. Kong looked thinner than usual, and he was wearing his purple bandana. I was worried about him. | 1MKA, 1FKA, 1MOA, 2FSA, 1MKA, 1MKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 096 | 2007- | 04/04/09 | M | A | Reminds me of the dream where I was on the big wooden construct, about to fight the elves. Where I later sought safety by hiding by blending in with a high school prom. | 2ANI | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 097 | 2007- | 04/05/09 | M | A | Dream back at home with me going to the movies, getting two tickets to a stupid new special ops themed jack black movie at consecutive times, returning a ticket, and feeling forlorn. How my mother got in trouble by owing $60,000 in garnished wages by hurting some other woman and getting a douche bag like Michael Milton to represent her and lost the case. And how I got upset. How I went home, and snuck in when someone else was living in the tall wood slat old house, and a stringy haired black girl like Savanna from high school was going inside to do something and I needed to change my clothes. | 1FKA, 1FKA, 1FSA, 1MKA, 1FSA, 1FKA | SD D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 098 | 2007- | 04/06/09 | M | A | I was at the awards banquet at my university with my mom, sister and my brother Charles. They decided to show up, after all. My brother Gerald was with them in the car, but he got out right away and went off somewhere. My brother James was home playing warcraft. I was glad they were there, but hadn't expected it. They got out of a minivan. We walked to the ticket area and I got my three. The old lady put up a fuss about my brother Charles, but my mother said he was a skinny 10 year old who hardly ate anything. They let him in. I said it's not my fault -- they said you could have three free tickets, and I didn't even think you were coming. We enter on the second or third floor of Weimer Hall, and I go down to the bottom floor where tables and chairs are set up. White tablecloths. The dean, Professor Foley and some experts are there at the stage. They give away a few giant plaques, framed in glass, including one where they say, you should have told us you were in honors; we messed this one up. They put in a movie during the intermission. I was still waiting for mine. It began on a stand with a school tube tv and VCR. it was something about a big conflict like Pokémon war. I was suddenly inside it, and found myself fighting these giant creatures. There was the main guy, who was camping for a high level spawn across a line of concrete rubble -- sort of a glitch. And I was there and took on a giant crab spider thing that spawned. I killed it with electricity pretty easily. But, out of its remains, two more came. They weren't terribly deadly, but their sheer size -- several stories high -- and intimidation and fear factor would be high if they attacked the city. The last part of the dream -- I was suddenly in an ammo storage area for the government. This was like a post-war area; a war had just ended, and there were a lot of munitions laying around, and dangers still out there. My job was to help store all this ammo. But later I realized how stupid it was to spend money on all these ancient bombs, most of which are older than me. I went around the shelves and picked up some of the old mortar shells on the racks. They were old and cruddy, and unless a desperate Armageddon struggle took place, nobody would use them. The place was set up near a beach with pretty green sweeping hills going away from them inland. I climbed a hill, and there I saw Darla (a coworker from the first newspaper I worked for). She had stepped into an area with many string tripwires attached to land mines. I ran up to her, and she was saying, "it's too late." I said no, hold on, and grabbed hold of her and waited for just the right moment. I could hear the mine ticking, and knew, because of the slack tripwire string, the mine would take a second to go off. When the ticking reached a crescendo, I grabbed her and yanked her away behind a wall, and covered her. The bomb went off, we were safe. But I could hear the ticking of some of the others. So I climbed on her and protected her. I was worried the explosions would penetrate the old brick wall. They didn't. We stood up. She was close to me. And I started kissing her. she didn't resist, but on the other hand, she wasn't exactly enthusiastic. It's like she wanted to -- I definitely felt the chemistry -- but was distracted by work. She asked, do you even know where I work? And I made a joke. She didn't find it funny. I told her it had been months since I worked at that newspaper, and the last time I saw her must have been a Sunday -- no -- a Friday, since I worked in business -- exactly 9 months ago. She said she'd meet me later and come back. | 1FKA, 1MKA, 1FKA, 1MKA, 2IOA, 1CZZ, 2IOA | HA D, AP D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 099 | 2007- | 04/09/09 | M | A | I was in a place that reminded me of Southern California and Thailand. There were suburbs, and a city part of town. The suburbs were new and in neat rows with green lawns. They gave off a vibe of bourgeois pretentiousness. I was at this place where a man was in charge of the events going on. It was like a certain dive resort I know, but not a dive resort. We were all playing in the pool. It was overcast, and probably getting dark. There were animals playing with the people in the pool. I set my camera on the poolside. I left for a moment and came back. I asked the supervisor where my camera was, and he said the squirrel took it. Yes, there was a water squirrel running around. It had taken my camera to the bottom. In the empty pool, the water still and blue, I could see through to the bottom and my lumix there with the hand strap floating up. The guy said, oh no, sorry. I said no, it might be ok -- it's water resistant. But to being lightly splashed -- not completely submerged. I dove in to grab it. Shit. As I lifted it, I could feel the pressure change inside and water leak inside. I turned it on. It started up, but went very very slowly, like car windows after a freeze. I could see the continuous, never-ending boot menu. I said damn, I should have taken out the battery first. I then took out the battery and there was water in the compartment. I set it out to dry. | 1MOA, 2ANI, 1ANI, 2JSA, 1ANI | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 100 | 2007- | 04/09/09 | M | A | Inside the suburb house, I met Sue, the co-worker on the collegenewspaper I was attracted to there. Something was wrong with her, and she wasn't acting like normal. Something had happened to her, and she was no longer that eternally life-loving, sunny, bright, cheerful girl she always is. She ran away, and I went to get her. I followed her to someone else's house. It was the house of one of my relatives. She had gone there to cause trouble or something. I said I'd take her home and borrowed one of their cars. I put something in the trunk and went back to the two-story suburb house. She wasn't drunk, but it was like her inhibitions were gone. I tried to approach her and talk to her, but she was eternally flippant. Though in a flash of affection, she approached me and I took her in my arms and we went to the back bedroom and she climbed on top of me and straddled me. I looked up at her face, shrouded in those golden locks, and for a moment, I saw her as her old self. I was instantly in love again. The way she moved on me and under me was just as I expected it to be. When it was over, though, she went back to her clouded persona and her green and gold was once again gray. I wanted to stay longer, but looked and my watch and realized, oh no -- I didn't know exactly what time my flight was that day, though I thought it was at 5:45 and it was already almost 4. I hadn't even packed yet! I was driving with her and told her I had to go. I didn't want to, but at the same time it would make me look good in that I didn't look like I was perpetually longing for her. I had arrived at the first airport, got off, it was a successful flight, I think, and then had to hurry to catch my next flight, which was from the airport across town. I was angry at my father for not setting up a ride like he had told me. I left the airport in a mad hurry to the taxi stand. It looked like the taxi stand at the airport in the city where I now work. I knew it would be expensive -- wasn't the airport at least an hour outside the city? It would be expensive. Oh well, I had no choice. I was mad at myself for hanging around the airport for so long, not realizing I should have gone to my destination first at the other airport and then waited there. | 1FKA, 1MKA, 1IKA | AN D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 101 | 2007- | 04/12/09 | M | A | I dreamed that my teeth were falling out one after the other. It happened in a place that reminded me of Bangkok, only while I was there I was with Cassie (former roommate Delaney's girlfriend), Delaney and others. We had taken a golf-cart like vehicle to this closed resort. We were going to play in the ruins, but more people came and started to set up some sort of exhibit. I slid down the railing on the way down and hit hard when I landed on the balls of my feet. They were hoisting picture frames on cables, and wires had strung them all together as they were set up on the ground first. Back at the first hotel we stayed at, I was drunk and so was Delaney, a former college roommate. We were trying to find a parking spot, in addition, find another place to stay. The first place was just a friend's house, and had decor like the 1970s -- all square, with lots of brown carpet. I remember my teeth started to come out in the car. First one, just a chip, and then more started to fall. I could feel the teeth in front were loose, but I hoped it was just temporary and would go away. But it didn't. First one, then more came out. I checked in the mirror to see how bad it looked. It was pretty bad. The canine. I spat the teeth into my hand, and thought to all those movies I'd seen where people had teeth knocked out. I hoped that if I saved them, a dentist would be able to put them back. Then I worried how expensive it would be -- then wondered how all the people who had teeth knocked out in movies, even if they didn't have any money, managed to get their teeth put back in. I dropped some, but didn't know how many fell. I hoped that I'd be able to recover them all. I didn't know if I got them all. | 1FKA, 1FKA, 2ISA, 1ANI | AP D, CO D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 102 | 2007- | 04/13/09 | M | A | I dreamed that the end of the world was on its way. It felt like it would be of the infected zombie variety. I had a power, and so did others -- like heroes. Nobody was sure what was going to happen or what was happening, but they all had a sinking feeling -- as if it was bad, hopeless. Many had given up hope. I still felt like I could do something. I was running through the building where my people were. It had glass sliding doors. I eventually ran to this truck yard type place, where there had also been a university science lab. Many elements and chemicals of the lab were still there. Though the mercenaries, with their giant trucks parked and idling, ready to go at a moment's notice, had taken over, I didn't fear them. I commandeered one of their big assault trucks and was confident in my power. Since I had this special power, they were by default at my service, as if the government recognized me, and hired them, and I was their commander. I went around the leftovers of the science lab with the hope of finding a solution. It was all old and done, though, with orange powders and such desiccating in what looked like fish tanks. | 2JSA, 2MOA, 2MOA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 103 | 2007- | 04/15/09 | M | A | I was getting ready to go on a trip. Or rather, I was already on a trip and about to leave somewhere else. I was sleeping in an alcove, like a platform of wooden planks laid out into a recess in a concrete plaster wall. I had my sleeping bag and other items. Collecting all your stuff is always a pain. I remember going around the place and realizing it's a prison. I wasn't a prisoner, though. There was a little kid going around giving items to some of the prisoners. One of the prisoners in a 2-person cell thought, "I'm going to kill him." But his cell mate was like woah woah woah . The little kid, unknowingly, dropped off the item and ran away. He could have been strangled through the bars. I thought -- he must be crazy. It's in his best interest to leave the kid alone and continue to get the stuff. Or, maybe not. He'd be seen as even more vicious and not messed with at all if he was indeed sane, but utterly selfish and unconcerned with human contact, only self-preservation. Their cell walls was covered with mineral buildup from perhaps hundreds of years of natural water seeping in. It seemed like the prison was underground, beneath a thick layer of rocks. There were divots in the solid rock floor, filled with more of the calcifying water. I went in. The prisoners seemed decent enough. And from the startled reaction of the potentially homicidal prisoner when his cellmate stopped him, he was probably genuinely crazy. Like he was in a trance. They had a pet snake. A Texas hognose, like my old pet snake as a kid. Perhaps an allegory to my lizard, as I was worried she wasn't being fed well back at home. They brought in two mice. One was small enough and white, the other was bigger, and reminded me of a gerbil -- the agouti type, with sharper claws. The mouse ran around the cage, on top of the snake, and I was worried the snake would be hurt. But eventually, the snake unhinged its jaw and began to swallow the mouse. I was impressed, but expectant, at the extreme degree the snake opened its mouth. The little white mouse was hiding in the half-pine log shelter the snake had amid the pine shaving bedding. Then the snake got the mouse mostly in. I was worried whether or not it would be able to digest such a big mouse. I wondered if I should take out the remaining mouse and re-introduce it later. But the snake took care of it when I looked away. Then it escaped. Jumped out and landed. I grabbed it and tried to put it back. But I didn't want to hurt it, as it still had mice in its gullet. I was wondering if it would try to regurgitate one of the mice, or if it even could. | 1ISC, 2MOA, 1MOA, 1ANI, 2MOA, 1ANI | AP D, CO 1MKA |
van | Van: a video gamer | 104 | 2007- | 04/16/09 | M | A | I was in a back yard that reminded me of my old bungalow in the city where I had my first newspaper job and perhaps some house I visited many years ago. My high school sweetheart Cindy was there. She was doing something at a table. Setting up for an event, or a craft or something. She and I were talking, and she was friendly and nice. I could see it in her eyes that she was still attracted to me. I could tell through her body language too. The fact she was acting like this, and the fact that she made no mention of the guy she was marrying, made me think something was possible. But when I started coming on to her, she said. I'm married. I said, I don't see a ring. She said, well, I'm engaged. And I said, well, who is he? My tone was condescending, with emphasis on the "he". She said he's an assistant something or another at Nintendo. I thought for a moment, and realized the "assistant" part meant he was nothing. Instead of dropping a litany of how I'm better in every way than this other person, I said: "He'll never be Eric (meaning me)." And she said: "Nobody could ever be you." | 1FKA, 1MKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 105 | 2007- | 04/17/09 | M | A | I was going to meet Beth (friend with benefits). She was living in my old bungalow in the city where I had my first newspaper job. She was there with a roommate, a guy, a harmless guy, who was smoking pot in the alcove when I came in. Beth said she had to take a shower or get ready or something. I was supposed to wait outside. But, of course, I did not. I went in and smelled the pot in the alcove and could tell the guy was there, but he didn't seem to know or care. My footfalls were very silent, near the place where I kept my laundry basket filled with all the junk I had in my SUV back when I lived there. She came out and said she had some sort of menstrual bleeding problem. My first thought was, dammit. That's never fun. Then I wondered why. I asked, "Isn't that caused from things like abortions?" She said, "That's not something I have to talk about" or something to that affect. Or "You don't get to ask that." I wondered if it was mine, but didn't ask. Secretly, I'd be relieved, but if I had knowledge ahead of time, I'd force myself to make the hard decision and try to keep her from going through with it. | 1FKA, 1MSA | CO D, HA D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 106 | 2007- | 04/19/09 | M | A | And then I just ask myself how. One decade. It started when I was at a flea market on the other side of town. I was with my younger brother James. I was going through the motorcycles, looking for a cheaper way to get around. I was looking at two boxes. One was $1500, discounted. The other was $3760. The smaller, cheaper box -- I opened it. It was just pipes and stuff. Not worth it at all. There were assembled ones, but I didn't trust them. They looked abused. There were a lot of cars in the lot, too. Then I went inside the warehouse. I was going through a stack of something with my brother when I heard a riot outside. I heard screams. I heard tribal noises. Right away, I knew shit had hit the fan. This was one of those genocides. I was in a foreign country to begin with. I had been mentally preparing myself for something like this for a while. I wanted to kick open a hatch, or go out through a garage door. But my brother wanted to go out the main way. I had a very, very bad feeling. I went out, and sure enough, a little kid comes through with a switch blade. He was very young, and ultra hyperactive. He was followed by two western adults. The kids were black. I was worried I'd be maimed, not killed. I knew I could take them down, but would be injured in the process. I didn't want that. The western guy was the leader of a small band of people. I said I'd do what he wanted, whatever -- I wasn't a threat. I told my brother to stay back. Eventually, after being holed up in the warehouse -- which turned somehow into a long-haul commercial jet in feeling and in the sense we were going somewhere -- I talked to them and convinced them of intentions and in fact sort of took command. I was vulnerable because I pretended like I didn't know what was going on earlier. But when I took responsibility, I became the leader. We landed and went out. My family was with me. We had to make it all the way out across the border area to my relatives house. On the way, though ,we stopped at a family's house because a girl ran out saying there was good food inside. We saw an ipod playing a video. It was a rarity for here. I climbed an old temple thing in the alley leading to the house. I saw nicknacks from dozens of other people leaving alms. In the market me and my brother were harassed by the local traders. I pushed them to get out of the way. Just two at first. But they followed us as we tried to steward our family through the dim market at dusk. This wasn't just the end of the world -- it was as if I'd been taken to a whole nother dimension . I was, in my head, writing a book about it. But later, my girlfriend (in the dream) would ask -- where would it be published, since I might not ever get a chance to report back to the world where I came from. I said I'd do it anyway -- for me, if anyone. We headed near a building, but I decided not to go in. "look, a nice clean building for you." they wanted us to go in to talk. They tried to pretend like they were our friends. But they just kept becoming more, like their family of gypsies was following ours -- trying to get close, to take what they could, perhaps rob us if we let our guard down. We were poor vagrants ourselves -- not about to give them a thing. The family went in. I stayed out. They separated us. And went after everyone else. This is when I pulled out my gun. I had them all run. I said, a 7-11 -- let's go somewhere where they wont feel safe. Or somewhere where important people will be. We headed toward the 7-11 and saw a car parked there. Inside was a soldier and his wife. He had a gun too. I told him we needed help from the crowd that had gathered around us still. He said yes at first, then said, no -- his brother was in the crowd. So I pulled my pistol and put it at them. I said, "Ok, that's it. If you don't leave now, that's it!" Two pulled out guns of their own. A leader, and a Collin Ferril looking guy. I just went ahead and pulled the trigger. I shot the main guy right in the head. He died. I shot Ferril, an he lingered for a moment, shot in the head as well, looking on, still conscious, in disbelief. The others then clustered in a panic. Don't forget -- the fake guns we had at the flea market; fired fast-moving, spring-loaded bullets. They were bright green and blue and red plastic. Looked like they would hurt. Picked one up to pretend to defend myself. I fired a shot into each of the bad guys heads. It was a complete gunfight. It stopped when I had sort of achieved dominance and shot all the aggressors. I had killed one girl's boyfriend. Though she saw that I had killed him only in self defense. She came to me, and I took her in. I said to her, I love you, but I killed the one you love. Go ahead. Strangle me. I won't put up a fight. She put her hands around my neck, but began to get sexual with me instead. How could I trust her? Later, she was topless, I could see her legs. They were beautiful. She was laying on my chest. There was a banquet. We had agreed to all share our food. | 1MKA, 1MSC, 2MEA, 2JEA, 2JKA | AP D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 107 | 2007- | 04/19/09 | M | A | Earlier, my sister and her friend were driving a boat. They weren't paying attention. Almost hit the wall as we went through the arch. I jumped off before it collided. had camera in pocket of swim shorts. Took the battery out, hoped it would dry. I didn't want to say I told you so about letting them drive. | 1FKA, 1FKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 108 | 2007- | 04/19/09 | M | A | Later dreamed I received awards at a banquet in an Arabic-speaking country. Accidentally thought the washing machine/basin was a urinal. My mother got lost after she had to park the car. I was with my father. MacIverny (journalism professor) sat at my table. I got an award from Ms. Bailey (a high school teacher of mine I'd spoken to recently). And a mountain biking award. Just giving me small random stuff in this second round of awards. It was held in a large hall with tan sandstone bricks making up the place, like a clean massassi temple from star wars. I wondered about the expense of all the awards, and how they fit into the budget, and whether they were just valueless pat on the backs that everyone gets. | 1FKA, 1MKA, 1FKA, 1FKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 109 | 2007- | 04/21/09 | M | A | I was sitting at a sidewalk cafe in a city a lot like the city where I had my first newspaper job. Someone was supposed to meet me. She was late so I ended up walking around the block. I passed kids playing basketball. Then I circled around and saw my computer stuff. I was worried someone had taken it. She met me. We went to space. I was a substitute for the mission. Before that, we sat in a bar. Debated things along with friends, other people. I'm missing the emotional significance of this dream, though. I can vaguely feel it, but I just can't say it. | 1FSA, 2JSA, 2JKA | AP D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 110 | 2007- | 04/23/09 | M | A | Forgot about a statistics class I was taking. Nina, a college friend, student newspaper photographer, was there for some reason. She was taking the class. I said, how many tests are there? She said four. I remember only taking one, and that was a hazy memory, and one was the next day. There was also, I hoped, a final. It was too late to drop. I'd simply forgotten about the class--that I had even registered for it. I went to the classroom and had trouble finding a seat. Like that dream from Spanish class, and Chinese class, where there was an impending test and I hadn't studied a thing for it. I said to my mom, who was visiting, "I'll need to stay here -- I have a test tomorrow." Instead of going back. I asked Anabel (Nate's wife and a friend from high school) for the key to the old apartment. She had it. I stayed there. I had two desk areas set up. One upstairs, and one downstairs -- like my old room in the club hill house. | 1FKA, 1FKA, 1MKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 111 | 2007- | 04/23/09 | M | A | Met my longtime friend Chris for a burger at the lopsided, water-logged Denny's with Mrs. Timmons (mutual biology teacher from high school) as a waitress. The area was somewhat outdoors, or from the damp feeling of the place, exposed to the falling rain outside. Mrs. Timmons seemed to recognize us. We sat at a table in an aisle between another row of tables and a booth. I prefer to sit against a wall. | 1MKA, 1FKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 112 | 2007- | 04/23/09 | M | A | Went camping with family, couldn't get the giant, illegal propane gas tank to work. Doing this in the parking area at the trailhead and bathrooms and ranger station. Tried to refill my stove, but ended up using my multi-function water bottle. The container was very long. | 2JKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 113 | 2007- | 04/23/09 | M | A | Was supposed to meet Sue, the co-worker from the college newspaper I was attracted to, twice; both times for hikes up a mountain in a place like Paris or Brussels, on the outskirts. This may have been shortly after I met with her for coffee as I was visiting the town where I went to college. She didn't make it the first time. The second time, I saw her pull up in her car and get out with a friend. They were dressed in tutu-like clothes; for a dance concert or costume party. They were going out. I sent her multiple texts. I followed her to see if she'd blow me off or just wasn't getting the messages. I was waiting on a quiet spot on the mountain, enjoying it, but thinking how much better it would be if she were around. | 1FKA, 1IKA | HA D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 114 | 2007- | 04/27/09 | M | A | In Thailand, though a mix between the 1536 (the apartment I lived in while a junior in college) crowd, and a relative's house. It began with some drinking, a lot of drinking somewhere. Earlier I was watching a cartman-like character give identical gifts to people and try to infiltrate a counseling center. I went in there with a Rachel Newell-like character (a friend from high school, college, and the city where I now work). She was sitting on my lap, though there were other hot girls inside and I didn't want it to seem like she was my girlfriend because I wanted to hit on them. My good friend Daniel and his girlfriend were in there too. They were getting relationship counseling. Inside the Thailand house, I had my minions. Slaves, basically. Like followers in Fallout 3 (a video game). I ordered them to do funny things to impress my friends. There was a chainsaw, or something scary around there. | 2JSA, 1ISA, 1FKA, 1MKA, 2FKA, 1FKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 115 | 2007- | 04/27/09 | M | A | It was looking for friends. My recurring fear of missing a flight came back. I was looking for a place to stay in the resort town and every place nearby was booked up, and expensive because it was right there in the thick of things. I met Jenna (a friend I met in Asia) at this hostel she'd found part time employ at. I asked if I could stay, since she worked there. I didn't want it to seem like I was using her for the room. There was Jordan from the apartment I lived in while a junior in college and the gang hanging out somewhere -- like a Costco where they were getting some drinks. Later, a police detective came to interview me because there was a murder or something. I had nothing to do with it, and I didn't even remember much from the night before. They gave me a docket-like transcript of events the night before they'd reconstructed. I thought it would be a goldmine when I later was putting together a story about the murder. It had everyone's name and nationality flag next to it as it went down the list. Bob (friend from college) was in there, too. He didn't know much. It didn't make much sense, and I didn't remember any of it. | 1FKA, 1MKA, 1MOA, 2JSA, 1MKA | AP D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 116 | 2007- | 04/30/09 | M | A | There was the Iraqi ministry of information. It had been taken over by terrorists. I was a journalist nearby when it happened. There were people warning me outside not to go in. But I did. Apparently, this cavernous building was home to many denizens who had taken up residence inside. And now, the people who took it over, religious zealots, were roaming the hallways with knives and razorblades slicing up the people inside who didn't conform to their standards. I went in and I saw a guy, a fat, tall Arab man, like a giant dark walking potato. He had a box cutter in his hand and crossed a perpendicular hallway segment at the other end of the hall from me. He half-saw me, and I half-saw him. He stuck his head back. I happened to find scissors on the ground. I picked them up and waved them to him friendly like -- see, I'm hunting blasphemous infidels, too. He went on, then paused. He called back. I just sort of made a sound, smiled, nodded, and carried on. He then began to run down the hallway toward me. I ducked into a doorway and shut the door. It couldn't lock. Instead of running, I decided I'd try to take him out. He pushed open the door and I slashed at him. It didn't do much. He was too bulky, and the scissors didn't go in too far. He sliced me down my arm with the razor blade. I said crap, that's not going to work, and re-loaded the setting -- like it was a game -- right before he came in the door. I tried it again. And again, the guy slashed my arm. Straight down. And then I re-loaded the game again, this time, just as he started to run down the hallway. I closed the door and this time, I ran. I ran down as far as I could go. I found myself in the basement, near a place where whatever products of their operation were tossed down into. I wanted to stay away from that pit. Down here was also where they let the women shower. There was a dull-looking Arab woman in a shower stall with a shower cap on. She was getting ready to get out. She put on a towel and hurried away, like it was all her fault that I'd seen her. I was thinking -- the guy could be down here any minute. I looked around for weapons, but found none -- just janitorial supplies. I didn't think I could keep him at bay very long with a mop. I instead found a ground-floor exit. I followed it and it emptied out into a warehouse area. There were stacks of stuff on palates. And there were a few workers and other people who had merely taken up residence in this place. I was stuck. Where could I go now? There were probably guards outside, and I knew if I tried to go up, I would run into more of those slasher brown potato men. Then, just in time, the doors flung open. A squad of American soldiers came in, followed by a small band of journalists. I walked to them, and they recognized me as an American. Shit guys, they're running around with knives! I then went outside as they pushed in. I talked to the journalists. Told them I am with the Times. They were covered in blue body armor. They said that was cool. And asked why I didn't have any helmet or anything. I did feel naked compared to them. But I turned it around. I said I was inside, and just rushed out when they got there. They were impressed. When the soldiers cleared the building they said I could stay there with my team, which just arrived. It was like the fly-ins journalism trip, my photographer, Tim, was there and the graphics/photo girls Carly and Kristin. We climbed all the way to the top, to the officers' bedroom. There were plaques and trophies and all kinds of full bottles of liquor. There was also a thing on the wall that looked a lot like a trinket with my college's emblem on it. Such trinkets are everywhere. The room was plush, and I was looking for a place to sleep that night. Couch, or carpet, it was all plush. | 2MSA, 2JSA, 1MSA, 2FSA, 1MSA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 117 | 2007- | 05/01/09 | M | A | I got 50 kills in CoD4 and the match sent a message to everyone saying I'd be right back. I teleported away to a bonus level. In the game, I was in a sniper battle with this guy wearing blue body armor. After I shot and killed him -- it took four shots from behind with a sniper rifle, and one in the field -- they interviewed him. How do you feel about Cannondale (my in-game nickname)? He's all right; I've got nothing against him. Never played with him before. And then they released dogs, which attacked more like fast attack bears. I climbed on a fence and shot down at them. I didn't think they were much of a threat. One came in close and I shot at it, and ran in circles and kept it from pouncing on me. There was a creepy old house set out in the middle of nowhere. It had no doors, only high windows that were sealed tight and small. Strange things began to happen. Like I was transported inside, with just the few items I had. Though one of my items was a .357 magnum revolver. I had fired one shell outside as a large attack dog came at me. I hit it, and its injury showed up on a camera attached to its collar. There was like a witch inside operating the whole operation. I saw her replay of the incident. The dog wasn't dead, but my shot, which entered below its neck and went through its shoulder, caused it to scurry away and stare. Inside I tried to check my gun. I opened it and dumped out the shells. Uh oh. Half of them were corroded, falling apart or filled with dirt. The witch. I figured they might still work. They wouldn't be nearly as powerful or shoot as far, but they'd still bark out a mist of junk that would injure or disorient or scare an opponent. I had a hard time separating the dirt from the powder. I put them back into the gun and hoped for the best. I saw my allies, outside and looking for me. I thought they were transported inside. So I wasn't looking for them. They were looking for me. | 2MSA, 1MSA, 1ANI, 2ANI | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 118 | 2007- | 05/08/09 | M | A | I was in a house. There was competition between me and someone else over possession of something. It was reminiscent of my grandparents' house, though from decades ago, when the place was alive and verdant, with jasmine vines hanging over the water of the pond. I was trying to take a shower in private. There were friends and allies around. I wanted to keep them safe, even though they didn't know they needed protecting. Then the person came. He was familiar, like a brother, but ultimately adversarial. He was like an arch-nemesis, the kind of enemy you hate so much, you cannot kill each other. At first he is trying to get inside. I lock him out of one entrance, and sprint around the side of the house and then upstairs and outside. I run along the top of a concrete wall, then to the roof. I can tell he is coming for me, but will take some time. I get in position for when he rounds the corner. He comes around and I knock him down. He drops something, whatever it is that was being protected. I make my move and jump from the roof for it. I think, "why the hell not," and leap from the roof and escalate the conflict. My robe flutters through the air as I land near the thing. I defied gravity as I leapt so far and broadly and landed so lightly. I used the energy of my impact to leap off again, spiraling upward through the air. My enemy, clad in red and dark blue robes, came after me. He could fly too. We battled in the air, in an acrobatic display of aerial combat like the matrix or dragon ball z. There was water in much of the flooded area. I leap and grab him, and take him down hard. I wrap my arm around his neck and make sure his head hits the bottom after we plunge through the water. Without sound, he tells me: ok, you win. I know he's not really dead, but that I have simply beaten him. | 1MSA, 2JKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 119 | 2007- | 05/15/09 | M | A | I was a new recruit in a military training program. It was in a different time, with different expectations. A more pure time where there is less gray in the world. But it was a tough system. This was the program for the best of the best, and I was new -- uninitiated to the ways and tactics of these people. They trained through simulations; combat games. This was my first test. They had a young, head-strong cadet before all the rest in the hangar, standing on a sort of metal pad. The captain called me up. Said I would be a part of this exercise. He told me in confidence not to worry, that I would be o.k. Though when I saw the scenario, I felt a sinking feeling. I was to defend a shantytown just inland from a shipyard. I had only a few units, all of them beat-up and out of position. The enemy would have a fleet at his disposal, and enough marines to saturate my men 10 times over. How was this fair? The game began, and I wasted no time. I sprinted out of the hangar and looked to my right, out over the harbor. I could see the massive tangle of warships pulled up nearly to the concrete pier. I sprinted away even harbor. Since my units were out of position, I couldn't even contact them. I didn't even know where they were. They'd be mowed over -- they were mowed over -- before I even knew how many I had. I turned right around a length of chain-link, barbed-wire fence. There an intelligence agent briefly approached me. He handed me a riddle. It was something I needed to find. He told me, "it will be ok." I read the puzzle, hidden on a strip inside a plastic egg. It made no sense. I didn't have the time to put it together! They were coming! I decided I really didn't have any other options but to go with it. So I slowed to a jog, and read it again. Ok, maybe. I ran up the main road and turned down a side street in the city of plywood and corrugated steel panels. There was an area set aside, like a secret power facility. I climbed in through a hole in the fence. I pulled a panel, hit a switch, and there appeared this red gelatinous material. I knew I had to take it. But I didn't know what it did. I grabbed it and ran away as fast as I could. Right when the enemy force was about to take the city in record time, they were forced to stop -- the secret operative radioed to me: do you know what the ___ _____ can do? No, but neither did they. Could it be used as a weapon? What was it? I didn't know. All I knew is that the enemy couldn't roll in completely without first getting their hands on it. I had an idea. If I could stay hidden long enough for the scenario time to run out, I would win -- that is when reinforcements would arrive. The problem -- it would be an entire day. Well, I would do it. My strategy wasn't quite running, and it wasn't quite hiding. I would stay in the shadows of a building, and when I would hear an enemy soldier approaching, I would sprint off. They had a steady grid. Unless I slipped past it, they would find me. I was faster than they were. I remember thinking that if I did hide and I was discovered, there would be no escape from those little shanty houses. Several times I found myself caught in the open by some of them, but they couldn't kill me outright. Their orders were to capture me. So when they closed, I sprinted away, right from their grasp. This continued on, and even spilled into the rich, lush, new center city. Though it was off limits -- and I was warned not to get too close or I would be reset. Dream ended after nightfall, as I had gone on long enough to know that I would not be stopped. | 2MOA, 1MOA, 2MOA, 2MOA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 120 | 2007- | 05/18/09 | M | A | Running from the bears down the mountainside toward the beach. I had just escaped one place and was headed toward the next. I needed to warn them of the invasion. Scrambled down the mountainside. It was straight down. I wondered if the two big bears could follow me. This was an amazing place. I wish there were more like it and I had time to explore. I jumped from rock to rock, letting gravity pull me as I jumped and tumbled. I arrived at the beach town. I stumbled in, ragged and torn, and went to the lifeguard station. I said to the girl, I need aid. She said, What do you need? I said I am exhausted and dehydrated. The others sat around and giggled like girls do. I liked her. "Guys like what they can't have. No. Me. I know that I always want what I can't have." I said it boldly. And then delivered a speech to get them to believe me the invasion was coming. They came and I simply grabbed her by the hand and ran. We needed to cross inland. We were trapped by the sea. I saw a bridge and had us run for it. The first one was blocked already. We needed to go further up the coast. We did, and we found an open bridge. She was getting tired. I told her to run, just run. This is it. It was donning on me as well -- this escape could be for all the marbles. I ran with her across the bridge, and it looked clear. The landscape was like the beach pine cones on an island I am familiar with. But, no! There was a second causeway leading across the marshy part. Units were taking up positions there. A person who lived there was looking on in shock. Should we go up this strip of land more? No. The road would be occupied already. I told her, we need to turn back. But... back across the long bridge we had crossed, there were two soldiers taking up position. There was no way out. But down. It was a long, long way. I didn't even know how deep it was. I assumed it would be deep enough in the channel in the middle. I told her. Look down there. Jump. Stay under as long as you can and swim for the shadows along the edge. I knew we would be sitting ducks bobbing up at the middle. She was afraid, but I knew she'd jump after me. My feet hit the water first. And down I went. I could feel my body torpedoing through the water. And Even though my eyes were closed, I could feel the bottom rushing toward me. I curled on my side and let my shoulder hit the bottom. It was gravely. I landed softly enough. I opened my eyes under water and everything was crystal clear. I could see the sun shining above me. I saw the bridge pilings in the distance. And I saw her legs kicking near the surface. She was going to give us away. I swam as deep as I could and held my breath. I was waiting to see the air trails of bullets hitting the water. None came. Those idiots might have not even seen us -- or figured we'd just committed suicide. Just as well. There were more bridges further in the distance. I had it in my mind that we would go and just keep on going until we could go no more. The adrenaline coursing through my body made all suffering and hardship seem like just something else that had to be done. We came out into a drainage canal that lead into a tunnel inside a treatment plant of some sort. It didn't look like we were followed, or that anyone was here. There were valves and gauges. We came out a door on the other side and it was night. This place was a sort of industrial area. There were lots of old corrugated steel panels and fences, lots of cast-off plywood. But as soon as we stepped out and closed the heavy door behind us, I could hear footsteps coming from inside. I poised myself to tackle whatever came through. It was a large man wearing a ghastly Halloween mask. He had a knife in one hand, like a kitchen knife, and a big wrench in the other. I grappled with him. He was slow, and not as strong as he looked. I wrestled away the wrench and hit him over the head with it. He bent over. I hit him again and again until he was motionless on the ground. But as I was wrestling him down, I yelled to the girl. Help me! She screamed back: how! Bite him, do anything! She did nothing. I took the knife out of his hand and stabbed him through his ribs a few times for good measure. We left and continued to sneak. I kept the knife. She didn't sneak very well. She didn't stay down well either. She made too much noise. That's when the cadre of bad guys -- four of them, all high level, came around the corner and took her. One looked like grand moff Tarkin. I was forced to flee. I followed them and walked into their commandeered house like I owned the place and was about to kick them out. I saw a table full of interrogation tools, and her dirty panties on the metal tray. I got angry then. What they'd done to her. I walked into the bathroom and saw her naked laying with the old Tarkin. I saw a potato peeler on the counter, picked it up, and in a fluid motion, knelt down and jammed the thing in the sleeping Tarkin's throat. I twisted it. He was dead. Then came a knock at the door. It was the others. The hallway was narrow, so only one could be at the door at a time. I opened it and a younger one was there. I hit him with the potato peeler on his chest. He had a knife, and I took it. I stabbed at him a few times and he fell back. | 2ANI, 1FOA, 2MOA, 1ISA, 2MOA | CO D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 121 | 2007- | 05/18/09 | M | A | Playing Call of Duty, a Search and Destroy match. I am the last one standing. I kill what should be the last enemy, bringing my team victory. But there is a glitch. More and more appear. I kill one, then another, and rush with the bomb to the pile under a tarp I am to destroy. I keep hitting the plant bomb button, which is resting on my crotch, and think, this is an awkward place to keep a detonator. I keep hitting the blue x button but nothing happens. Then an ally shows up. Then behind me an enemy puts a knife to my throat. I know it's over. I say, do me a favor, and shoot me in the head instead of that knife. She says, "Is this how you people do it?" or something like that. She put the gun to my head. I move it back a little to get everything -- I didn't want to inadvertently just cut my optic nerves. I say do it. She does it. I knew I would just respawn. I woke up in a boat being towed by bad guys. I was tied up. There were others with me. One man fell out and was being dragged in the water by the boat. We each had an individual rope attaching us to the boat. We were in a sort of dinghy. He fell in. I tried to help him. I fell in. It wasn't so bad. | 2MSA, 1FKA, 1MSA, 2MSA, 1MSA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 122 | 2007- | 05/20/09 | M | A | I am the vice president of Jamaica. The mayor/president of the place is nice enough. He gave me the position when I met him in the customs hall. This Jamaica is smaller than the real one, like Andros in the Bahamas. I'm there on a family vacation. I am fighting with my mother. I hurry ahead to go exchange some cash into the coins they use before she does something stupid like trying to pay for things in dollars. Something is wrong with the guy's counting machine. A coup erupts. I'm left with money that looks like play dough and no way to change it back. Anarchy is in the streets, and I know I need to find some place safe to be -- since I was named the president. I go through the downtown place where there's a merry go round. It's turned into a central place where the revolutionaries shout through their megaphones propaganda. I tell my family to follow me and stay close. I'm worried my mother will say something stupid to the black gangs now roving the streets. I tell them just to keep walking, even though they are hassled. | 1MOA, 1FKA, 2JSA, 2MEA, 2MEA | AP D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 123 | 2007- | 05/20/09 | M | A | Skiing on a lake covered in algae; Chuck's (my water ski instructor) lake, but years overgrown and un-maintained. I remember fearing the alligators. There were so many alligators there now. They hadn't been kept under control. I was glad to get back up to the dock and on the little cliff looking down into the lake. | 1MKA, 2ANI | AP D, HA D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 124 | 2007- | 05/20/09 | M | A | The knife fight with the blacks in the store as I was gathering supplies. It was a like a turf war. I was charged with defending our headquarters but nobody seemed to be organizing, just wandering around like they didn't know what to do. They wouldn't listen to me. As a refugee group was moving, according to un-logical orders from someone else, I started shooting the people in the face. All in the line. But the gun, an mp5, broke. The bullets just drizzled out. I pulled a clip from the vest I stole off the guy I shot in the face with the weak gun that was on the ground. Tyrol (the character from Battlestar Galactica) tried to dissuade me. Getting supplies at the store -- vitamin water and cans and in a backpack. Running around trying to do everything before time ran out. The city was vast, but I had a vague idea of how it was laid out. | 2JEA, 2JSA, 1ISA, 1MSA, 1MKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 125 | 2007- | 05/21/09 | M | A | Lesbian sex in the back seat while on a mission for a government agency assault team. I was in the parking garage. We were searching the parking lot for enemies. Inside one car, I see a woman curled up asleep, as if hiding. The others see that I see her, and say good luck. I open the door and climb in. I know what I want to do, but something is wrong with it. Instead, my character becomes a woman -- so it won't be as bad. I lay down next to her; she looks at me, and is attracted. She puts up only token, playful resistance. Then I revert back to myself. We are naked, and I have just ejaculated all over her face. I am still hard, and I begin to fondle her and say I want more. She says you can do this to me, and I just might like it. She takes my dick and balls into her mouth. I am about to cum again. I then start fondling her again and then put it in. She started to have second thoughts and said, my mom's here. I was like what? She then touched her heart, like she's thinking about what her mom will think. I then put it in. And then I woke up... | 2MOA, 1FSA, 1FKA, 1FKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 126 | 2007- | 05/21/09 | M | A | Battlestar galactica. Jumping in the ships. Trying to find safe harbor. Internal discord. Everything was falling apart - literally, figuratively. | null | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 127 | 2007- | 05/21/09 | M | A | Driving around Thailand. Going to the bad end of the town. I meet a tall girl from my university alma mater and her mom. I'd met them randomly and offered to help. They're meeting me on the other side of the river. I was going to go first and check it out. Only way to get across is by floating/fording. The man had a black dog that brought people over with a small bark log raft. He swam it to us on the dock. We had to go one at a time. I wasn't sure it was safe, but went with it. I was wearing my white American apparel shirt, black shorts, and had my gear in a waterproof bag. I jumped in the water no problem. Halfway across, a ferryman took over from the dog and quickly rammed the thing through the water with a pole. We arrived at the dock and talked money. I thought he wanted 300 for each. I said, yeah, right. Then I said 25. He explained how that would leave him with nothing. Again, I thought he was talking individually. I gave him two 50s -- though they looked counterfeit that I got from Cambodia. He didn't seem to mind. I waited for the others to come back across, but they went to the gift shop to get clothes that could get wet. Across here was "The New World", owned by a big guy who was the boss of all these people. A female warrior chick on the other side explained to me how he wasn't a bad guy, but had issues. How he married a woman for money, divorced her, and invested everything in this operation. He didn't like what she had -- money. | 1FKA, 1FKA, 1MSA, 1ANI, 1MOA, 1FSA, 1MSA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 128 | 2007- | 05/21/09 | M | A | Deep sea fishing, getting hooked, being horrified that I was reborn with a defect. I reeled in a giant sea bass. I still wanted to throw it back, even though it was huge. It wasn't a record, and it wasn't a fighting game fish like a marlin. The George Bush critique play that was supposed to be therapy for my time at war. It's not therapy for me to merely do it. I need to let everyone else know. The problem with the girl dropping stuff all over the racetrack and causing an accident by the car sucking in the ball bearings. | 1ANI, 2JSA, 1FSA | AP D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 129 | 2007- | 05/26/09 | M | A | I'm on the run with Cameron and Sarah Connor (characters from Terminator). We're in a beat-up old truck. Though Sarah turns against me. Or at least wants me to go along with a plan I don't agree with. I decide to dash away from them. I don't have any weapon, so they know I probably can't get far. I find a big tree and climb up into the crook of its branches. It is filled with leaves and ferns and dirt and dead branches. I say to myself, if you want to survive, you need to go all-out. And so I bury myself up to my chest in the detritus. | 1MKA, 1FKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 130 | 2007- | 05/26/09 | M | A | I'm at a baseball game. I'm playing in it, or at least trying to play. I have access to the underground parts of the stadium, the back ways. I feel like I'm late for something. There are multiple fields, like in Little League, though the whole thing feels professional. I wonder if it's a place where I'm supposed to be. I've never been too good at playing baseball, though I try to look what I'm doing. | null | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 131 | 2007- | 05/27/09 | M | A | Attending a graduation ceremony. It's an extra one, like the one my university alma mater asked me to attend and sit on stage, but that I couldn't make. I was in the city where the newspaper I now work for is located and had to fly down and take that Thursday off. Supposedly someone told me I wouldn't miss work, but really, I would. And since I didn't book a return ticket, I was worried that I'd need to get back on to airline web site and book a flight and because it was the day before I needed to be back, it would be expensive. I felt bad for my parents. They didn't have the money to pay for a flight, but they gave it to me anyway because they wanted me to come down for graduation. So I did. The graduates all rode to the site together in this open-top double-decker bus. We were supposed to jump up and cheer when we passed the parents. Did it again when we passed the faculty. Along the side of the road there were people getting drunk who had just graduated. They graduated us in cohorts. They cheered us along as we went along the road, which was lined with trees. We arrived and got out. It was like a parking area in a certain restaurant. My bike was there. I'd left it, apparently. It didn't have the tire on the rim. I rode it and stopped behind a white station wagon. I thought it was my parents. No, they didn't ride in that anymore. I looked and found the green van. I left my bike there and asked them to bring it home. | 2JKA, 1ISA, 2JKA, 2JSA, 2JSA | AP D, SD D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 132 | 2007- | 05/27/09 | M | A | I walked toward campus along university avenue and went into a bar. It looked like one of those dive places with poorly painted walls where hipsters hang out. It was crowded. I sat at the bar and ordered a burger. Just give me your regular burger. The bartender gave me a shot of something pink to boot. There was no barstool. I was balancing on the ledge of something under the bar. The girls next to me were drunk and stacking the chairs. The person to my right was passing out and I kept nudging him away. The bar phone rang. It was Nick, my old college roommate. Hey man, you're there and not visiting us? I was hungry. I left and there was this Kaplan (LSAT prep) guy talking. I asked how many points our score would increase. He had a beard. "I took the test f-five times. And let's say I scored... quite high." he said. | 1MOA, 2FSA, 1MKA, 1MKA, 1MKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 133 | 2007- | 05/27/09 | M | A | I found myself being pursued by Maria Brigman (a girl who liked me but I didn't feel like liking back). She was in bed with me naked. Though she seemed hesitant. She got off from being with me, then squirmed when I put my fingers in her. She got up and said she didn't want to because we weren't married. | 1FKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 134 | 2007- | 05/27/09 | M | A | I was on a scavenger hunt with Stephanie (a friend from college who now does PR work in the city where I now work). It was us hanging out, though we were in competition with each other. She got into a big semi truck. After the first couple items on the list, I realized it would take days to finish all the stuff. I didn't want to spend so long doing this. She drove away slowly toward another list item with the truck. I tried to catch up to her on a little beat up bmx bike I found. She rounded a corner into traffic just as I had caught up. Oh well. I was on a hill near a beach area. I helped a woman with something. She had a kid with her, but she was still attractive, although a few years older than me. She thanked me profusely. And said, You know, son stay here, I need to show this man something. She was going to take me to a back room and give me a blow job, I was certain. I told her no, no really, it's ok. People can do nice things and you should just accept it. Really? Ok , thank you. She looked longingly, though. I saw this and said to her, and yes, you're checking to see if what you said excited me, and it did. She smiled as I turned away and left. | 1FKA, 1FSA, 1MSA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 135 | 2007- | 06/12/09 | M | A | I was a teminator. I lept from the cliff onto the pine trees below after fleeing from the shoe store with the glow-print eating nerd hipster idiots. One tried on a hat in this abandoned store. They were roaming around earlier, looking for food and other items in the fields like cattle. Irradiated patches of wheat and mushrooms. As I was running away from the guarded main road, I came across a band of them. I ran with them as the other terminators came after me. In the store, the idiots put in a DVD and messed around with the phones, which they didn't know how to use. They probably didn't get killed because they were idiots. Later I went out and tried to escape in a truck that had been there fueling for months, with the nozzle still in the gas tank. The truck and other vehicles were soon ripped apart by the other terminators -- which were more looming and massive than I'd seen before. I tried to run down the road. They followed. I ducked into the brush alongside the road. I had a feeling that I could not escape, no matter which way I ran or how far. Dream went into a transition, as I was a bare skeleton without skin; it had all gotten peeled off as I fell from the cliff and into the pine trees. I had run and jumped off a cliff and got skinned on the way down. I wanted to get into a stasis to heal. I was just an exposed skeleton with chunks of flesh attached, even my spine. But it was all heavy, articulated metal. I arrived at the bank of a lake or river near a school. This whole town was playing baseball by the river; it was on the edge of the city. The old mayor man had a beard like Santa and tiny spectacles. | 2MSA, 1ISA, 2MOA, 1MPA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 136 | 2007- | 06/12/09 | M | A | I got inside and it turns into a movie theater; my high school sweetheart Cindy is there with her fiancée. She looks different. She stands next to me and puts my leg between hers. We talk as she stands like this and her boyfriend looks on. We left. He was trying to be nice, but overtones of asshole were there. We walked into the lobby. I saw my longtime friend Chris. We chest-bumped, but he fell down. Maxine (a girl who lived next door during high school) was there. She had bought my old jeep for $200. They were all on my side, turning against the new guy. We went to the parking lot to see the car. | 1FKA, 1MKA, 1MKA, 1FKA, 1FKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 137 | 2007- | 06/12/09 | M | A | I'd gone to jail. It was unfair. They wanted to keep me in. They didn't tell me anything. It was as if my old house during my young teens had become a cell. Justin, a friend from college, had been talking about his jail experience a few days before. The woman was your typical dumb black city cop, just "following procedure" and not thinking for herself for even a minute. He attitude was "I'm authority, and you needed to respect it for its own sake." I was planning my escape, right over the top of her if I had to. I felt the whole system was beneath me and stupid and they had no right to hold me. I began to walk out, and climbed a fence. It felt like one flew over the cuckoo's nest. | 2IOA, 1MKA, 1FOA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 138 | 2007- | 06/18/09 | M | A | A stripper/lapdancer wrapped herself around me in a hug. She was divorcing her husband. She smelled the same as the lapdancer I had been with at a club that evening. This was happening as I was in the pr office tending to supposedly Jackson's (a friend who works at a magazine) injury -- he cut off his heel somehow and you could see the bone. I was going to treat it with antibacterial ointment and gauze before I got him to the hospital. I was made the right hand man of the agency. The other girls working there seemed to accept the decision even though I was new. It re-affirmed my view that in media situations, people look to me for advice. I was pleased that they trusted me. The head of the agency was gay, and I felt like I could bring a masculine swagger to the company's aura. | 1FOA, 1MSA, 2FOA, 1MKA | HA D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 139 | 2007- | 06/23/09 | M | A | This dream took place partially in the loft-like area of an apartment building. It was like in the city where I now work, but surrounded by what seemed like a rural ranch-like setting. Like a summer camp. It had something to do with work. Like for a story. I tried to log on to Facebook, via my laptop or someone else's , but I found the files came out all strange and coded. At first I thought that it was an error, but when more people started to see the same problem, it became apparent that there was a virus -- and I had accidentally uploaded it somehow. Or at least I was used by someone else to help upload the virus. I went to the top of the building, and inside the space, I found the culprit. This setting was part of some organization from an earlier part of the dream that I can't remember well. I helped fix the problem, and was rewarded by being given a new laptop. It was an alienware . Very different than anything I'd get on my own. It was giant, though I could watch it from essentially across the room. And the speakers were loud. I went back to my apartment, which was a little like my real one, especially during the rainy evening hours when the light is gray and dim, and I went to sleep watching it. Though there were roommates around making me uncomfortable. I was excited about something, which was why I had a hard time drifting off. | 1ISA, 1ISA, 1ISA | AP D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 140 | 2007- | 06/24/09 | M | A | Can't remember much. Just that I remember writing a story and trying to get the real name for one of the dissident state senators. He changed it to that name from something else. The setting was official, and the source seemed trustworthy. But I was skeptical, as always. | 1MPA, 1ISA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 141 | 2007- | 06/24/09 | M | A | I was in the house we lived in during my young teens, or a place like it, and we were all locked in and scared. It was raining out, and my god, there were zombies everywhere. Society was still functional, but we weren't sure where they would be next. I knew I had to go out somewhere to get supplies, but nobody was sure what money was worth anymore. Food was scarce. I was also reporting on a story. There were other people in the compound. My family was there. I was more worried about them -- protecting them, keeping them healthy and safe. I remember looking out the back sliding glass door and thinking it was not secure, and could easily break. The view from the 2nd story deck was better, and the suburbs all around looked gray and dead. The roads would be hazardous. The public was scared and irrational and self-centered. I didn't want to deal with them, but knew I had to for the story and to get supplies. | 2JSA, 2JKA, 2JKA | AP 2JKA+D, AP D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 142 | 2007- | 06/28/09 | M | A | She was wearing a red dress. Blonde. A porn star or actress. I was leaving a downstairs office and she was saying goodbye. I was going to, or wanted to, meet her later. She said she had a scene. What kind? Probably hard core. I lied and told her I wanted to hear about it. She was just getting out of makeup. Room 6, floor something or the other. The building was made from brown bricks, like the college campus in the town where I went to high school. It was square, built around an open courtyard. I opened the door and saw her in a salon chair in front of a mirror getting done up by a stylist. | 1FSA, 1MOA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 143 | 2007- | 06/28/09 | M | A | I went back to the arts center in my high school. A new black theater teacher was running 12th night. I was dressed in costume. I had to prove that I was a former student several times over. I remember standing near the stage, unsure of what my role or lines would be this time. I was frustrated with the lack of direction she was giving, and the procedural rigmarole of her letting me into the theater. I was visiting a family on the water front. it was a nice place. They'd taken to me, even though I barely knew them. | 1FOA, 2JSA | CO D, AN D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 144 | 2007- | 07/05/09 | M | A | Dreamed that I was in the newsroom of the newspaper where I now work, near my desk. I was facing the wall, however. And I was stressing working on a series of stories. Professor Betsy Childers came up and said I had cashed an $80 check in her name, and wanted to check up on it. I logged into my computer and checked my bank account. Jeff Harr and Bob Traux (former editors) came over and chatted. Jeff asked me to pull up my list of stories. There was a long list. I thought that it wasn't quantity that mattered, but Jeff seemed to think so. He was impressed, however. I was on a research boat or something like it along this deep part of the Amazon. I wanted to get a canoe with a friend to go down and help with the water lettus cleanup, but really, just wanted to venture out away from the camp -- which was like a swamp-like version of my desk. My place in the swamp eventually turned into my work area at the newspaper where I now work. I was writing that story, and there were pictures of nude girls in a long row in the file leading down. They were part inspiration, part topic for the story. Emily (intern who I'd made out with and was flirting with) was IMing me via google chat. | 1FKA, 1MKA, 1IKA, 2FSA, 1FKA | AP D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 145 | 2007- | 07/05/09 | M | A | Later things changed into a warehouse/factory setting. There were peopling hanging around milling about. Caity Norton (an artist who I knew from home who went to an art school near where I now work) was there for some reason. I asked her to consult with me about a web site thing I was doing. She was sidling up like that drunk blonde chick from the train the night before. It had to do with me trying to write a story about a massive train station that people had turned into a picnic area. The only light came from long banks of far-away florescent lights, and everything was rusty. The picnic tables, the ground, even the walls and ceiling. The whole cavernous place reminded me of a rusty manhole cover with calcified drippings all over it. The place was shaped like a hangar, and the floor was pebbled and wet (almost like bumpy terrazzo). In the dim distance there were chunky steel grates blocking passages leading to god knows where. Caity comes in as I'm sitting at a round stone table trying to post my story to the newspaper's Web site. I'm having trouble, and she sits down and offers advice. I don't know if it worked or not, because I woke up. | 2JSA, 1FKA, 2JSA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 146 | 2007- | 07/09/09 | M | A | My mother called and said my brother Gerald had a sudden heart attack. I thought that was surprising, as he is 21 and healthy and active. I thought at first it wasn't as bad as she made it out to be, since she tends to blow things out of proportion. I went home -- a long way, but compressed for me in time -- and met them at the hospital. The doctors were hesitant to come out. I knew then that trouble was in the air. A rage, worry and panic took over. And I could not let what they were suggesting happen. I tore through the hallway and pushed open the double doors to the bay. There were many beds in a row, curtains around them, and very dim in the light. At the end of the room, there were several people wearing scrubs and masks around a hospital bed set against the wall horizontally. Gerald was there, and he was laying still. I ran over and started yelling at him. Dammit, Gerald, wake the hell up. Come on. You're better than this. I put my hand on his head. He had long hair like he had when we were kids. I tousled his hair. Then he began to stir. He turned over. I could see the blood-stained spot on his hospital gown where the doctors had performed surgery. He turned over. I thought that wasn't good for him. He was thrashing and rolling around. But at least he was no longer flat lined and gray. Get up, Gerald. Then I woke up. | 1FKA, 1MKA, 2IOA, 2JSA | AN D, AP D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 147 | 2007- | 07/10/09 | M | A | What began as a trip to a vacation type place, like a big group trip to a bungalow near the beach or woods, turned into a somewhat stressful social interaction. There was that pressure to hook up. But the girl in graphics at the newspaper where I work came on to me. She basically undressed in front of me and wanted me to take her. She was inexperienced, but very willing. At first we were in a tucked away corner outside the building. Near a stone path through the grass and trees, perhaps just beyond the rise leading to the beach. I lay down on top of her and remember her parts were very taut and supple. All of them. I kissed down her body, but when I got to her leg, it seemed like she had some surgery to her bones to make them longer, as if she were insecure and wanted to be taller. I kissed part of the leg, and then wanted to spit, as if the bone graft had come off in my mouth. I overlooked this and we went back to a room. Here I teased her with my dick, feeling on her with my hands and mouth. She was very small in my arms. I was so turned on by being able to completely wrap around her. I put my dick in her, but didn't press on too much. I didn't want to finish too soon. I wanted to relish in her petite freshness. She sprang up and straddled me and I was standing up. I lay her on the floor, and as I pressed deeper, we scooted down the hallway, me pressing in her on her back. She was yelling for more, deeper, harder. I obliged until she came. Then when I tried to double down and cum myself, I woke up. | 1FKA | AP D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 148 | 2007- | 07/12/09 | M | A | Water park. Friends went off; place was like an amusement park. Chantalle (a friend I sleep with from time to time) was there. I was reporting on a story. I was struggling to get all the information I needed. I was surprised I was so far in. Trying to write this all from the field. It had 7 sections. I was struggling to finish the last section. I needed a quote. | 2IKA, 1FKA | CO D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 149 | 2007- | 07/12/09 | M | A | I was in a bar. There were portraits on the wall of award winning dogs and their families. My family was the most recent, and my dog was smiling in the middle. I was much younger. I looked like I did in high school, with long hair. It was an award for the Pulitzer for best dog. | 2ANI, 1ANI | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 150 | 2007- | 07/13/09 | M | A | Traveling at night in a rickety boat. It's like a square, like a floating house. There are provisions, but the whole contraption, with an attached dinghy used to keep the horse, feels like it could collapse or be swallowed by the choppy sea at any moment. Where we're going, I don't exactly know -- but it feels like a necessary adventure. I didn't know my traveling companions well, but they were friendly and we had similar goals. | 1ANI, 2ISA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 151 | 2007- | 07/13/09 | M | A | Shipwrecked or stranded on a far-away island; much like the undiscovered islands of Hawaii or Thailand. There were vast beaches with white sand, backed up to craggy mountains covered in thick forest. It's daytime, but overcast. There were dozens of people stranded with me; they all struck me as followers, going with popular opinions. They wanted to stay and wait for rescue. But the captain of the boat who brought us over, along with a few others, decided it would be worth a shot to venture out, try to hobble to safety on the boat, which was listing in the water (and there was a horse they needed to bring with them). The only engine was one of those multi-purpose tractor engines they use in Asia that had to be hauled back aboard and attached. As the boat was beginning to take off, I jumped aboard and grabbed onto it. It sunk right away, diving down like a submarine. I thought this was a maneuver that the captain had planned, or had happened, and the captain decided to go with. The boat plunged down into the shallow bay, flipped, then pointed upward toward the surface. I was holding onto the pointed bow like a trainer at sea world on the snout of an orca. It launched toward the surface and we were suddenly away from the surface, but lost in a way. I knew it would not be wise to stay on the island -- it had plenty of wildlife, but I did not think there was enough fresh water and food to sustain such a large population for very long. | 2JSA, 1MOA, 2ISA, 1ANI | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 152 | 2007- | 07/13/09 | M | A | The captain and the two others with us, lost and low on fuel, pulled into a vast swamp. It was a settlement, or used to be. He had known it as a port in years past, but hadn't come back in a long while. The way he came upon it was suspect -- I wasn't sure if he had actually been to this place before, or had simply heard of it, and traveled toward it based on where he guessed we were in the ocean. Or, he had simply ventured away from our stranded location with no destination in mind, and found this place by accident, only recognizing it from lore. Regardless, it was not what anyone wanted or expected. The row of buildings were still standing, but since they were made from wood, they were rotten inside and out. While the shell of wooden slats, almost black from decay, stood in the rough shape of multi-story dwellings, upon closer examination, it appeared that they would crumble if I touched any of them -- like the guts of a dead animal spills out when its tissue-thin carcass is disturbed. I get the feeling that the people who once inhabited this place suffered the same fate as the buildings. We were able to pull the boat, which looked more weathered than before, right up to the squishy bank where the houses stood. I was surprised they were built on land at all. The swamp was thick and impenetrable in every direction. It was closing in. However, there was a dog, like a Chihuahua, running around. I wondered how it got there, and how low on supplies we were -- I was willing to catch and kill it for food. But we let it go. The horse was eating from the foliage around. I was glad it was eating -- it would be difficult to keep it healthy any longer at sea. Hints that a horrible disease killed the people came into my mind. | 1MOA, 2ISA, 1ANI | CO D, HA D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 153 | 2007- | 07/13/09 | M | A | We found ourselves captured by natives. Or captured, and we had just escaped. It was in a swampy area near the shore. We were pushed up against the water. Me and perhaps two others. They were coming out of the forest all around as we were on the shore, which was covered with seaweed, leaves and sticks over the sand, all of it heavily matted, like on the edge of a mangrove thicket. My first impulse was to stand and fight. But the captain said watch out -- they had poison darts! Indeed, the darts were flying. He picked one up off the ground and showed me. There were perhaps hundreds of darts flying from the thicket toward us. They all missed. If I was hit, I didn't notice. I couldn't see the shooters, but I knew they were there, just beyond the tree line. I picked up a long, hollow bamboo reed, and picked up one of the darts from the ground, loaded it through the spongy back cover of the bamboo, and fired it back in the direction of the attackers. It hit him, and he reacted in disbelief. He emerged from the brush and fired back at me. I didn't know how long it would take for the poison to take hold, or if it had been washed off when it stuck into the ground before I picked it up. I dodged multiple darts. Then another warrior came out of the brush, this time with a spear. I ran at him, from the side, and wrestled his spear away and turned it on him. With this weapon, I attacked perhaps two more who came from the trees, stabbing and slashing. They went away and we were ok, for the time being. I looked at my fellows with a sort of, I told you so -- we could fight them off, see? | 2MEA, 1MOA, 1MOA, 2MSA, 2MSA | CO 1MKA |
van | Van: a video gamer | 154 | 2007- | 07/13/09 | M | A | Wound up back on that first island. Things have digressed into chaos. This might have happened before the other things; I don't remember. There were people trying to take control. And there may have been foreign people, with much better technology, trying to take control of the island also. There were teams. My team was few in number, and not prepared. We didn't even know there would be such conflict. I made the best of the situation and acquired several weapons by theft or force from the other side. I wanted to resolve this without violence. My guns -- an assault rifle, sub machine gun, laser pistol and a .50 cal barrel -- looked intimidating. But I knew they were all very low on ammo. I had to use them to maximum effect. I told the bad guys, led by a witch like woman in a torn black dress and long black hair, that they should all back down -- I had firepower and could use it. I flashed the assault rifle, which shot laser type beams. She said she wasn't afraid and her people moved in. I said ok , that's it. I pulled out the big sniper rifle and began firing at them. I wanted to save the more affective assault rifle for when I might actually need it. I was hoping the much bigger and louder .50 cal sniper rifle would scare them off. It didn't. The bullets, white tracers showing the trajectory, zoomed all around them, under arms, between legs, over shoulders, as they ran toward me. They never did close, and I seemed to be getting away -- but then, from high above, more much more accurate shots rang out from a ledge high above. It was one of the more advanced people raining down bullets. I got out of the way and took cover behind a rock. There I found one of their advanced wet suits, which were the color of pink coral. I didn't know how it worked, but kept it for later. I tried to fire back with my pistol, but it was too inaccurate. I didn't know how to calibrate the scope on the big sniper rifle. | 2JSA, 2MSA, 1FSA, 2MSA, 1FSA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 155 | 2007- | 07/13/09 | M | A | I had decided just to take it easy, as I had all the supplies I would need to paddle a kayak back to the mainland when the weather was right. I looked out into the distance, and saw the shadows of the scary swampland in the foreground, and in the distance, the faint shadow of safer large island or mainland. I was resting in a hammock on the beach inside a shack. It was nice out. I wanted to read my book. Then I got a call on a radio from my brother, who was out at sea and coming in -- he needed help, and was thirsty. He had a native guide with him. The two them were in a raft floundering in the surf. I didn't want to go out and waste my supplies. I filled up an empty Gatorade bottle with tap water. I was surprised there was tap water here. I threw it out to them. Then the surf brought them in on their own. He is always getting into situations like that, where he is underprepared and I have the right supplies. I look at my green kayak and mentally prepare myself for the trip back away from this island. | 1MKA, 1MSA, 1IOA | CO D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 156 | 2007- | 07/14/09 | M | A | Just a few fleeting images: I'm downtown, in what seems like the hip area of the city where I now live. I am looking for a place to eat dinner. There is a Japanese restaurant, and it's serving Sapporo on tap. I like it, but I am not sure my friends will like it. It's on the corner of an open street. There is an overarching plot, but I do not remember it. | 2JKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 157 | 2007- | 07/14/09 | M | A | I am changing in a stall, like the open kind at some beaches. There is a local girl outside; the kind of "regular" person I associate with being a local. Not college educated, works a low-level service job, like retail at a big box store or waitress. She starts talking to me over the top of the stall. I am here working on something, a story for the newspaper. We hit it off well talking. She has curly brunette hair, and is attractive. She is wearing jean shorts. She comes into the stall and we press against each other. We begin to kiss and undress. | 1FKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 158 | 2007- | 07/15/09 | M | A | About being in the office. Some Asian-Americans visiting there. being in the shack (police bureau) that doubles as a bedroom. I fall asleep when I'm supposed to be on the job. I get dressed wearing shorts. Javier (co-worker) comes in as I had just gotten ready. Checking my voicemails. Jake (a friend who lives in another state) leaves me a rambling nonsense message. There are conference rooms. Supposed to be covering something at a park but the event is scrubbed because they are afraid of graffiti -- what's the point then of the event if they are afraid? a trash boat throwing away pumpkins into the grinder. flames come out. molten metal shoots out to where I was standing behind a pole. fire hose. | 2JEA, 1MKA, 1MKA, 2JSA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 159 | 2007- | 07/16/09 | M | A | I was writing a story. Though the atmosphere was very informal. I started out working from the shack in the police station I cover, then found myself in the sixth avenue office. I was calling and calling the police to get more information, but the assholes wouldn't reveal anything. From a witness of the incident, I got shady details. There was a tour bus. There was an accident. Nazi KKK members were involved. It had the makings of a good story. The injured man was a fat Hispanic family man on vacation with his wife. I tried to talk to him, but his English was bad and I couldn't understand. I didn't know if he was talking in Spanish or Portuguese. Back in the office, I was trying to work, but several co-workers were more interested in going out after and making other plans for the day. I was working with Jenny Kee on the story. Matt and Kelly and Matt's girlfriend were off trying to do something in a meeting room, one of the ones with the glass walls, so I could kind of see inside. I didn't want to get involved. I was writing in a part of the office that reminded me of my bedroom. Simon, my editor, was working on a computer from the window sill. He was able to sit on the whole thing and work from a laptop. A co-worker came in and asked him something, but she annoyed him, so he snapped at her with a sexist comment. Dean, another editor, came in and said, "Cut that out or you'll come with on the six minute walk." I figured that meant a trip to HR. Journalists despise HR. I despise HR. | 2MOA, 1FSA, 1MEA, 2JKA, 1FKA, 1MKA, 1FKA, 1MKA | AN 1MKA |
van | Van: a video gamer | 160 | 2007- | 07/17/09 | M | A | Coming down from the roof of a hotel with new friends, and an acquaintance I didn't know very well and didn't much care for. Reminded me of that too-wired guy James Ginty. Creepy. Not very trustworthy. He wanted to take us to another party. The city was dark. It was night time, but barely so. Either very early in the night, or very late. We were near the corner of two streets, my neighborhood. I didn't want to go off with this group of people. I was tired, and didn't want to deal with their idiotic drama. | 2IKA, 1IKA, 1MKA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 161 | 2007- | 07/17/09 | M | A | I was in the lobby of what seemed like the police station I cover, with the turnstiles and security check-in counter. I was waiting in line, like at the post office. Take a number and wait your turn. Though the people there seemed to all know each other, and I was new to it all. They were part of an almost cult-like summer job program. I didn't care much because I felt I was above the program, that they were likely getting scammed. But I gave them the benefit of the doubt and believed all the great things they had to say, if only so I could get in and find out the truth. I was let past the turnstile to see the program's bearded director, who reminded me of the deputy commissioner of the police department. He said I could go ahead and join the program, if only for a few days a week, if I wanted. I said sure, why not. | 2JSA, 1MOA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 162 | 2007- | 07/17/09 | M | A | It was night time, and I was on the south bank of river in the city where I work. It was much more forested than in real life, and narrower. It was like it had been 200 years ago. One of the little islands in the river beckoned. I had to retrieve something from there, or perhaps go as part of this job program/cult. I think it was the latter. I found a canoe, a very small one, and began to paddle over. The going was easy, and faster than I expected.. I had with me a friend, reminded me of another guy I once knew. Coming up to the heavy foliage on the bank of the island reminded me of pulling up to the bank of the island in the middle of the lake back in the town where I went to school when I was 10 to 15. We dodged branches, and when the bow of the canoe made landfall, I got out and wondered how I could secure it without a rope. I figured it would be fine, resting on the bank. The friend was skeptical of where we were going. We went uphill through these woods along the ridge in the middle of the island. There was a long log house, but with a modern interior that had new refrigerators and computers. It had screen doors. I went inside. There were many young people milling about doing something that resembled work of some kind, but I failed to see the purpose. They were adversarial toward me, as I was an outsider. I told them I had permission to be a part of the program. Apparently they were about to move the program somewhere, and I needed to go to the new location, in a nearby city, if I was to be a part of it. They didn't tell me how to get there, but I followed one of them into a secret underground tunnel that led to the other side of the river and the suburban city, like in the nearby resort town, where the new operation was based. It had gray concrete walls and pipes, like the cellar or sewer level of a big building. The light was dim. There was a young woman wearing a tight white knit shirt or sweater toward the middle of the tunnel. She didn't see or hear me. She was doing something with items on a shelf against the wall, partially behind a support column. I knew she would try to keep me from passing through. She reminded me of Nicole, the girl who was over at my apartment the night before. Very fancy girl, with that sorority girl way of talking, but with a very regional tinge to her voice. I snuck up behind her and had a metal rod in my hand -- about the size of a large screwdriver -- for protection. I found it in the tunnel. The tunnel had all sorts of industrial type items like this on shelves. I walked up behind her and told her "hello." She grabbed a razor blade -- a rectangular razor blade, without a handle -- from a shelf in front of her and swiveled toward me. I didn't know how serious she was, so I grabbed her hand holding the razor. I made a threat with the rod, but she didn't seem to care or correctly called my bluff that I wasn't really going to hit her. I instead tried to get the razor from her hand and talk to her. I thought she was attractive, and felt as if her assault may have been her way of flirting. I saw myself coming across as happy go lucky and nonchalant to her utter seriousness. I was afraid she would bend her fingers to cut my hand with the razor, since I only had her by the wrist. She eventually backed off and lowered the razor. She wanted to know where I was going. I told her. She was skeptical. And we walked out of the tunnel, each eyeing each other skeptically, as if one of us could attack. I wasn't going to, but I was afraid she would. I didn't know why she saw me as a threat. | 1MKA, 2JSA, 1FSA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 163 | 2007- | 07/18/09 | M | A | There was a threat of a widespread world disaster; it would hit one time, and then we would see what would happen. Chances are, many would survive. It was not going to be the end of the world--so long as we were prepared. I thought the threat was overblown. I was riding my bike up and down these very green streets; they reminded me of a cross between parts of a nearby city and the town where I went to high school. There was a lake from that town that I passed, but it seemed older and less maintained . The swan pens were nowhere to be seen. I knew I had ridden too far. I was going to the apartment of a friend who had a basement that would make a good bomb shelter. I turned around and pedaled back up the street. they were bumpy. made of brick; both Williamsburg and the downtown where I went to high school have that characteristic. I came upon the house, and went inside. It was very much like my own apartment. And there was a roommate there. Not my actual roommate, but Javier, a friend from work who was assigned to the same police station with me this week. He was trying to sleep in his own bed, but I was more interested in getting things ready, or at least cleaning up. The place was sort of a mess. There was a big plasma tv and it was tilted onto its side over the entertainment center. | 1MKA, 2JSA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 164 | 2007- | 07/18/09 | M | A | I wanted to go out and watch TV or play a game by myself, so I went outside and took the TV and a blanket with me. The place was on the edge of a park. It was very much like a park in the city where I work. benches. many people out, even in the evening. There were trees and grass. I took everything into the park. But it started to rain. It was raining for real that night, and I got caught in the downpour. I left the TV , but grabbed my blanket and ran back inside. I was in my boxers, which is why I brought the blanket and sheet to cover up and keep warm. I hoped nobody would steal the TV. I went back inside. | 2JSA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 165 | 2007- | 07/18/09 | M | A | As I was leaving my building, Sandy (a girl I met in another country who developed an unhealthy obsession) came in. She didn't see me. I was walking across the other side of the lobby. I was wearing sunglasses. I saw her come in and go to the counter, as if she had found where I live and was trying to surprise me and was asking if I lived in this building to the doorman. Instead of meeting her, I went out the revolving door. It was sunny outside. I felt bad, so I waited for her to come out. I was leaning against the building. She came out and walked passed me. I said, "Sandy." she turned around and acted surprised. I didn't want to see her, but I felt bad she came all this way to see me. This reminds me of the same feeling I have not looking forward to going out with this girl who asked me out the other night. | 1FKA | SD D, CO 1FKA |
van | Van: a video gamer | 166 | 2007- | 07/18/09 | M | A | I was out trying to get to a Democrats' meeting. I got a tip from my editor that it was not far -- but I had to hurry. It was a Saturday , and I had just woken up. I was not fully prepared and had not done my background research, so I headed out. I wondered if it was where the meeting had been in the past. I was near the upper west side, just north of downtown, near a big museum and art center. I looked around. I came to a college that had a campus within the city. One of those small city colleges. There was a map. It had numbered buildings. It didn't help. I called the Democrats. The person on the other line said, "oh, it's not important this time." I got angry. "Look, you can't do that." he told me where it was -- there were indeed two locations, and this one was across town. I hurried away. I thought about taking public transportation, but figured it would be faster to walk. I started turning around the iron rails leading down, but turned away. I wanted to look at a map. | 1MKA, 2JKA | AN D |
van | Van: a video gamer | 167 | 2007- | 07/20/09 | M | A | I'm on a boat. It's a luxury cruise liner set to go off. But before it can do that, it's stopped by the catastrophe that has taken over the planet. A greater cataclysm inspires zombies to appear. The ship then pulls into a river. It is an island, stocked with food, and very well heeled guests expecting only a short jaunt out for a premier or something. They argue over what they're supposed to do. I'm onboard for some reason, though I don't feel a part of the crowd. How I wander this ship and don't care that I'm not allowed access to the front. I go anyway. I lean off and I see them, brown and listless. They weren't moving or attacking right off the bat. | 2ISA, 2JSA | null |
van | Van: a video gamer | 168 | 2007- | 07/20/09 | M | A | Vampire. Stuck inside with faulty Internet or computer network. Dragons. Assembling the savior device -- the little robot that downloaded into the big computer system and secretly grabbed parts as it went. Like an r2d2. Waiting for the event. The bad guys had already captured our dragons. They were waiting to die. I was one of our assets, which I thought was sad, since I wasn't battle tested. | 1ANI, 2ANI, 2ANI | SD D |