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**Question : Technology like computer and internet made it easier to learn university subject frim home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of learning from home?** My Answer : Most subjects in university these days are able to access from home due to the development of technology. Althought this issue has benefits, the drawbacks should be considered. There are several reasons why distance learning is more useful. Firstly, student can be flexible toward the time course. For instance, students who have occupation are able to arrange their time when they have to work or study as well. This enables them to decided learning while they should work. Another reason is, that they are still living in their place. Most universities which located in big city require their student to live in around the campus or at least in same place. Distance learning make student can acquire the subject materials without moving to the nearby university. Although distance learning brings positive effects, there are numerous drawbacks for student social life. To begin, there is a lack of interaction between the students and their lecture. While it can be solved by technology which have a skype that helping them to meet each other virtually, it cannot be enough to understand the subjects such as science and engineering. Laboratory courses have also been linked to problem of distance learning. For several courses that they have to do in laboratory will be a consequence for them because they are not be able to run their experiment. Furthermore, there is influence on their relationship among students. If they spend less time in campus, they will have not enough friends to interact with. To sum up, despite the benefits of distance learning, the negative effects is more problematic. Those affect mostly in student social life.

Hi Umma, please allow me to apologize. I had forgotten that I have not previously advised you so my words were presented in a manner that should have been more familiar to a student whom I have worked with in the past. The reason that I often recommend writing only 250 words, which is the minimum number of words is because you are not being scored on the number of words that you have written. Rather, you are being scored on your use of the English language, your grammar skills, comprehension skills, and sentence development abilities. These are all the core points that are being looked into when you write your essays. I have found that even if you present only 250 words, but you prove your abilities in English based on the required skills, you will pass the test with high marks. You see, just because you write a lot of words in English, be it simple or complex, doesn't mean that you have proven your skills in the necessary aspects of essay writing. In fact, the more words that you write, the more it might become obvious that you have limited English skills. While if you opt to write simple sentences or somewhat complex sentences and use simple to moderate vocabulary within the 250 word count, you will be able to better concentrate on perfecting the English essay discussion and presentation. You don't have to write a long essay. You just have to write a relevant response in an understandable essay. Even if you write a long essay but are unable to explain yourself clearly to the reviewer, if you cannot present properly developed English sentences in the simplest form, then you will have lost your quest to get a high mark on the essay. That is why I recommend a 250 maximum word essay to most students whom I feel will benefit from the presentation of a shorter essay. I hope my advice helps.

Anopheles is one of the most dangerous mosquitoes in the world. Recently, scientist discovered weapon to exterminate or eradicated it. They called ivermectin. It can't immediately protect human from bite anopheles but it can killing easily after that. Therefore, the researchers are trying to give ivermectin to most of people in an area, particularly which had several case area. It can seriously impact to anopheles and making inhibitans safe from malaria.

Alfin, when you describe Ivermectin, you need to capitalize it as it is a proper noun because the name describes a chemical name. You should also indicate in the summary that Ivermectin is a chemical because the reader needs to know how it is administered to the user. By the way, how is it administered? You forgot to include that explanation in the summary. Additionally, you should have made mention of the areas where the chemical is being introduced for use. The places are indicated in the report and will help show a more authoritative tone for your summary. Before I forget, you should have included an explanation as to the method of administration of the chemical, how long it takes to take effect, and how long it can protect humans from the mosquito. Basically, you need to add more information from the article in order to deliver a more informative summary of the article. Right now, the essay leaves the reader with more questions than information.

**Question: Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visiting it. How true this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that you cannot learn by watching programmes and films about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience.** **Answer :** In the past, only certain people can journey abroad to other countries. Particularly, just rich people who have much money to spent for visited some beauty countries. As we know, there are various countries in the world and have many thews such as culture, food, languange, building, and many more. Recently, many programs on tv shows about journey to many countries in the world. The program can caused everyone imagined about circumstance of life in other country. Therefore, journey programs nowadays became one of the most popular program on tv. It can changed perspective which making someone thought to prefer stay at home and just take information from tv or internet to know about something, like many places in outside the country and prevented curiousity to observed or learnt about culture and many things in other country. Furthermore, in my view unfamiliar place which we dont't know before is good for visit. Because it can improved our knowledge and open our mind to the world. When we visited the new place and saw directly in there is different when we just watched that on tv. We can interacted with the local people, met many new friends and feel the atmosphere. In conclusion, It's good for you to get much information from tv or internet about some interesting place in other countries. Eventough, perhaps you know about that, but you also to feel that directly, because is very diverse when you just see on tv than you try to visit it.

Alfin, you should have presented a personal opinion in your opening paragraph. The reason for this is that the prompt is asking you a pointed question that requires a direct answer in the opening statement. The personal opinion that you present in that paragraph should be the basis of the overall discussion of your essay. Aside from that missing element, your opening statement is acceptable enough. By the way, good job on coming in at exactly 250 words. That said, you can revise some portions in order to better reflect your personal opinion at the start of the essay. As I said, that is a requirement of the prompt so it should be reflected in your work. By the way, be careful with your formatting. You accidentally have 2 paragraphs stuck to each other in this essay. Be sure to clearly separate the discussions using the enter key alright? It is best to always be sure that the reader will not be stressed when reading your essay. In terms of discussion, the essay is acceptable and presents a good discussion of the topic. Your point of view, which is clearly represented in the paragraph, shows that you understand the background of the prompt and you know exactly how to powerfully discuss the topic. Your conclusion though, needs another sentence in order to meet the essay format requirements. You can create the new sentence by dividing the discussion points in the single long sentence within the paragraph into 2 topic sentences instead.

Chris Milk is a innovative person. He uses technology to make interactive. He with his friend, Joshua and Mckenzie have idea to creating virtual reality projects. He showsnand brought the TED audience together in the world's largest collective VR experience. Recently as we know many technology like virtual realty has changed people view about technology.

Alfin, your summary misses all of the important key points of the discussion. There is no proper representation of the actual topic of the talk, the reason behind it, and the audience reaction to the activity. You did not even bother to spell check your work. There is a lack of cohesion and clarity in your writing. The grammar is horrible. You must learn to proof read your statements before sending it out for scoring or review. Notice that you have placed extra letters in the words "showsnand" which makes the word or term lose its meaning. What exactly where you trying to say? Also, you need to make sure that you learn the correct plural forms. In the sentence where you refer to "friend" you actually mention 2 names which makes the term plural and should therefore have been written as "friends" and not "friend". This essay is actually not informative at all and would most likely receive a failing score in an actual test setting. I advice you to watch or listen to the talk again and come back with a totally new version of the essay. One more informative this time for our review and analysis.

**Question: Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important. Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.** Answer: Nowadays, Most of people assumed when they work or get job just purpose to get more much money. Eventhough, sometimes they work who they dislike. Moreover, to choose for job which unappropriate with their background. Particularly, they graduated from agriculture but choose works at bank which not related with their major. It caused they need money immediately. However, pundits thought if someone works in their passion, it can make them happy and keep spirit for face their life. The advantage when someone decided to works with his passion. They will enjoy to work, for example when someone has hobby to singing, and she decided to became a singer, she probably will enjoy her job because she started her job from hobby or something who she like. Therefore, many people can more easily to be successful because they never give up and always work seriously. From all of the advantages, there is one problem when someone keep work with not their passion, they will stressfull because many matter of their work, and more difficult to solved it. However, when people have ability with something but not follow their ability to try. It might not good for their life. So if you have dream to become someone you must believe and hardwork to achieved, because who determined your success is yourself. In conclusion, sometimes someone need money to their live, so all job probably will accepted and forget that he has good ability in other job. In my opinion if you don't like your job, better you choose to resign and find job which suitable for you.

Alfin, for the Task Achievement portion, you would probably get a 3 because you did not properly restate the prompt in your own words. The proper restatement would have been similar to the following: *While some people believe that people can only be happy doing a job they love, others believe that there are more important factors to consider when taking on a job. One of these reasons could be the need for money. In my opinion, I believe that people would be happier doing a job that they love doing. The reasons for which I will be discussing below.* Your coherence and cohesion would be a 4. You are discussing the topic somewhat properly using a somewhat logical progression. The problem is that you are writing under a time constraint and you are unable to properly scan your document for coherence and cohesion before submitting it. I would like to suggest that you learn how to allot your time properly using the existing time frame so that you will have some time remaining for editing and revision for final content. The lexical resource, I am sad to say, would not score more than a 2. Which would be followed by a 3 in terms of grammatical range and accuracy. The problem is that you have a limited vocabulary in terms of the English language and this has caused you to have problems in forming even the simplest of sentence formations. This causes undue stress on the reader and does creates a difficulty as the reader tries to understand the discussion you are trying to present. I know that it seems like the scores are really bad and you might feel defeated right now. Don't be. Things will get better for you in terms of scoring provided you keep doing the practice tests and you do your best to improve your understanding and usage of the English language. It all boils down to becoming more familiar with English as a secondary language for you. Good luck! I am rooting for your improvement!

**#007: How do movies and television influence people's behavior?** It has happened to all of us that after watching cooking channel on TV, we feel hungry, or after looking at a horror movie- before sleeping- we check all windows and locks one more time to make sure they are all closed tight and locked correctly. All of above are just examples to show one indisputable fact: movies or TV's influence on our behavior and the influence is not just for a short period. In a short time, media can effect on our mood. For instance; when you listen to heartbreaking music all of sudden you feel down while another hour with another type of music you feel cheerful. This fact is also true when you listen or watch the news; some news make you angry, while others make you happy, and the worth thing is we make all our decision base on our mood or in the other word we behave according to information we receive. In a long time, Media defines good and what is bad for us. News, programs, TV series always dictate what is right or wrong, how you should dress, or how is the appropriate behavior, and even what you should like or dislike. For example; Fat people are not considered model since all models we see on media are slim. Media can influence our behavior in short time and long time. You feel hungry when you are watching cooking channel or feel angry when hearing bad news. These are just examples of the effect of media on our behavior in a short time and how good people should dress or how should behave are examples of media in a long time. However, this dictation is sometimes good and sometimes is bad.

Ash, in actuality, there is no right or wrong way to write any content for an academic essay, which is what a TOEFL is all about. There is though, a proper format to be followed in writing the essay. The standard format is composed of the following: 1. Introduction - offers the thesis statement of the discussion in a paraphrased form 2. Bodies of Paragraph - 3 discussions that cover the specified discussion format from the prompt instructions 3. Conclusion - summary of facts, restatement of the prompt, repetition of your personal opinion (if instructed to do so in the prompt). So your essay has to cover 5 paragraph with each paragraph containing a minimum sentences and a maximum of 5 sentences, completed within a 250 word maximum. That is the basic format of a TOEFL essay. The rest of the parts to be scored like Task Achievement, vocabulary, grammar, sentence structure, etc., are skills that you develop over time. Basically, you just have to keep writing, we will keep advising you as to how to improve your skills, and over time, you should begin to show improvement in your English comprehension and writing skills. So the best advice I can give you is this, keep writing. We will help you become a better writer with the aim of passing your TOEFL test. Keep those practice essays coming. We look forward to helping you.

Wildfires accident which makes The US to spent more than 2 billion dollars to fight with them and kill 6 firefighters is the major reason why expert in the US try to develop a new way to solve the wildfire problems occur annually. The best way is researchers try to develop autonomous vehicles, so firefighters can out of the battle and let the vehicles to solve the problems. In the result, a contractor which developing the idea showed off 4 unmanned aircraft that join with Firefighter department. Indago, a quadcopter drone, uses several advance technology such as infrared and visible light cameras. So, the firefighters become the viewer to see about the situation use a small device such tablet and help victim to safe place. To prove the abilities of this autonomous, The Indago was fought fires in Australia.

Dioba, you need to rework this essay. The summary that you present is confusing and the information used lacks proper referencing in order to offer understandable and relevant data to the reader. For example, in the second sentence of this summary, you said that 6 firefighters died or were killed. Was that during the whole forest fire season or just during one incident of forest fire? The timing of the fire dictates the proper information that you have to relay to the reader. Next, who was the contractor who developed the vehicle? The company was named in the report so you should mention the company in the summary. That is so that the reader will know that you are not just making up the information. It is verifiable information that will offer your summary an authoritative and informative credibility. Another thing, the way that you say it, the autonomous vehicle seems to be usable only for helping people to safety. Doesn't it help to fight the fire as well? Double check your information as I believe you missed some important parts. In relation to that, the firefighter controls the autonomous vehicle so it is wrong to say that the vehicle solves the fire problem. That is still accomplished on the human side of fire fighting. Finally, when you say the autonomous vehicle was used in Australia, you can't just stop at that point. You must also offer information, which was in the report, as to how effective the system was in helping to combat the fire. Without the additional information, the summary doesn't really complete the run down of the article's important facts.

Discussing salary is one of the taboo activities that almost all of people never discuss. How much our salary, the next person in our position salaries and office friends salaries are several questions we are never talk in advance and still become a secret. David Burkus, a TED speaker, thinks that if the secrecy of the salaries issues is removed, it will improve sense of fairness and collaboration each worker inside the company. Based on his research and experience, when a company do not make transparency of their employee salaries, so the worker cannot compare with their friends income and it will leads to make the worker feel underpay and discriminated. That's why in the US the law protects worker to discuss about their pay. Moreover, more than two-third from 70000 workers feel they are under pay, and 60% from them have a tendency to quit from the company. That's why transparency about salary is the major purpose to make worker more trust to their company and they can measure about their salary by their self.

Dioba, you know what is obvious about the summary that you wrote? You did not really listen to the whole 7 plus minutes video before writing your essay. If you did, you would have heard two of the important and keyword terms that the talk was all about. Those two words are Information Asymmetry and Pay Transparency. Both terms help to explain the basis of the facts and figures that your current summary indicates. It explains the whole point of Burkus' talk. You have to train yourself to listen to the whole audio or watch the whole video file because the important aspects could be explained later on in the speech, as in the case of this talk. Information Asymmetry talks about the need to be open about information regarding the hiring of a person. It depicts the importance or drawbacks of allowing employees to share information about the salary. While Pay Transparency discusses how employees use the transparent information regarding the hiring process, specifically the salary being paid workers who happen to work the same job. The explanation about negotiation skills in this respect was something that should have been included in your summary. The aforementioned information would have proven the usability of pay transparency because the speaker cited well known examples or people who had used the same process successfully in running their own companies. The Pay Transparency talk shows that it creates a healthy competition among workers among other things. In my opinion, your summary would have been perfect if it was done in 2 paragraphs. The first paragraph explains the first half of the discussion and the second half, discusses the relevant information coming from the final part of the talk. That way the speech is represented in a balanced and well informed manner, even though it is presented in summary form.

**TOPIC: Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?** ------------ Personally find it very difficult to address this topic, hope I didnt misunderstand the topic. Here is my finished essay, any suggestions, in particular, sentence structure, grammar and the reasonableness of the content, would be appreciated. Thank you. ------------ Many small, local businesses are losing its customer base owing to a boom in chain supermarkets, and according to some, this will cause the local communities disappear. In my opinion, I agree that the communities will suffer as small, local businesses close but it is questionable that it will cause the death of local communities. There is no doubt that small, local businesses are hard to compete with supermarkets due to two reasons. Firstly, supermarkets are able to make better offer and provide a wide range of products to customers because they have stronger bargaining power and different source of supplies. Another reason people tend to shop in supermarkets is that, there are always some rewards associated with the purchases, such as fuel voucher. That is, small businesses can never have that privilege for their customers. Some businesses might consider to leave the area and looking for new opportunities. As a result, less and less businesses can survive in the neighborhood. Nevertheless, supermarkets sell goods with cheaper prices, some activities and shops cannot be replaced. Many locals still demand on types of market and unique shops even in a small community such as farmer's market, second-hand shop and so on, which are not the target products of supermarkets. Furthermore, many locals still prefer to shop in local stores due to their years of shopping preferences and close relationship with shop owners. Hence, it is difficult to say that one supermarket can easily destroy a community. To conclude, even though a community can be challenged to maintain along with the growth of supermarkets, I believe that a community with a variety of demand will continue to stay. (279 words)

Siu, you need not worry so much in terms of the content of your essay. You were right on track and you did not misunderstand the prompt. In fact, you clearly discussed the topic and offered logical supporting evidence from, what I believe, is based on your personal experience or knowledge. While your discussion is sound and strong, there is a slight imbalance in the way you discussed the essay. If you had discussed this essay in an argumentative system, you would have been able to discuss both the the agreed and disagreed opinions in the essay. That way, when you discuss your personal opinion, it would have a stronger backing based upon the side that you chose to support in the essay. Please keep in mind that the thesis statement or introduction and the closing statement or conclusion of the essay always needs to have a minimum of 3 sentences each paragraph. If you do not portray the minimum number of sentences per paragraph, you will lose points in the final scoring, even if you are over the 250 minimum word count. Your sentence structures are logically developed and you showed a chronological discussion in your essay. So your fears regarding your sentence structure, grammar, and reasonableness of content are unwarranted. You did a pretty good job in the development of your essay discussion.

Chris Aderson gives an explanation regarding why the scientific discovery is enormously appealing and essential. The reason why is perfectly plain that he readily concedes when people take a scientific research into account with great curiosity and hard effort, it can make change the world better as such. In this TED video, he strives to give some examples about the discoveries done by Richard Feynman, Erastothenes, and also Galileo led to scientific discoveries.

Nina, your summary is too brief. Try to aim for at least 5 - 10 sentences for your summary. 4 sentences in a single paragraph is going to be viewed as too short to have been able to deliver a concise summary of a video discussion. You need to make sure that you better develop your topic sentence and offer a little more meaning or reference to the experiments that were conducted by the scientists in order to better illustrate the point that Aderson is trying to make in his speech. While your essay truly conveys the topic and essence of the speech in a short and understandable manner, you need to lengthen your discussion in order to prove that you have a somewhat complex vocabulary and that you are able to explain, in layman's terms, the references to the experiments he noted in his talk. Those would all help to increase your score should this have been an actual test.

Chris Aderson presents that a simple question can carry out us of the edge of human knowledge. Columbus reveals the world is circular by only looking his shadow on well while his head blocking the sun and his ideas finish by Erasthones, the discoverer of Geography, find the diameter of the world by measuring the distance between Alexandria and Sweden. Furthermore, Arman F. finishes the speed calculation of light tried to discover by Galileo before. Overall, Chris shows we are not so different with inventors in the past, they are just a little bit more curious. If they can change the world, so do we.

Alrisky, I am unable to provide accurate feedback for your statement due to the lack of the url for the video. I need to watch it for myself in order to properly guide you in the development of your summary. What I do notice in your current work though, is that you do not have a cohesive line of thought and your coherence is non-existent. There is no point to your summary because the ideas are all disconnected and there are no connecting sentences, phrases, or keywords that could help to interconnect the discussion you are trying to present. I realize that you are trying to explain about how some simple ideas can lead to scientific discoveries. However, there should be a logical introduction, discussion, and concluding paragraph to the summary. Since that does not exist in your essay, it would appear to the reader that you are merely discussing ideas that do not have any relation and hence, no relevance to the original discussion that Chris Anderson presented. You should have referred to the method by which Anderson discussed the ideas in his essay, thus properly summarizing the context of his speech in your essay. Without the continuity factor, this essay just doesn't have the coherence and logical flow of discussion to pass in the actual test. Lengthening your summary discussion by adding information to it should have solved that problem.

**How Simple Ideas Led to Scientific Discoveries** In this TED video, Chris Aderson explained about the research from previous generation. First of all, he mentioned Richard that had been done with insertion research, used wagon as their item. Next, the speaker said about Erastothenes who carried out the diameter of earth by made a calculation way from Sweden to Alexandria. Moreover, he told Galileo research about speed of light and it had been continuing by Armand F. with light beam research. All in all, the speaker said that if someone wanted to do discover about anything, they can look at the previous research by the old Scientifics to broaden their horizon and also in order to make their research appeared to be true.

Mohamed, the first thing I noticed upon reading your version of the video is that there is no point to the scientific experiments that you mentioned. What is the connection of the previous research to present day science or modern day man? Next, you need to make sure that you always use the correct term in reference to the discussion you are presenting. The person involved in science is called a "scientist" not a "scientific". That mistake in your vocabulary alone will ensure that your vocabulary score will be lower than passing. Since you are still practicing for the test at this rate, try to use a dictionary before you use a technical term in order to make sure that you are not using the wrong word description in your essay. It is better to use simple terms and get a good score, then to try and use complex words and get a low or failing score. There is also a lack of clarity in your discussion. What exactly do you mean by "... in order to make their research appeared to be true"? If the experiment has not happened yet, how can it be true? I am not sure what you mean by that reference. Can you clarify it for me? Sadly, these mistakes could all add up for you towards a less than passing score in the actual test. It is never good when the reader cannot understand or connect with the meaning of what you are trying to relay in the summary.

**Visa regulation should be relaxed for overseas students. Do you agree or disagree?** Due to the growth of international communication, there are more and more exchanged students now. However, the first barrier these overseas students encounter is the visa applying. Some people believe that the government should loose the restriction of applying visa for these students yet I state the opposite view that the government should not treat these students different than the others, and my statement are following. First of all, the main reason people support to relax the visa limitation is their identities-students. Compare to other applicants such as immigrants and businessmen, students seem much simpler. They visit for studying or researching and most of them will not stay for a long time. Secondly, it can encourage the exchanges between different countries in terms of academic, sporty and art. In order to improve the diversity, it is a good way to attract different aspects students from worldwide. On the other hand, I believe the biggest concerned about visa restriction is safety. Although the purpose of these overseas students visiting is studying, it is hard to supervise all the students' life. For instance, there are several cases that some girls from poor countries will pretend as students to those developed countries to do the sexual business which can earn the money in very short period. I suppose the government should treat all the applicants the same so as to prevent such situations. To sum up, it is good to have many overseas students to visit. However, under no circumstance should we scarify our safety only for welcoming these students.

Arlen, while your argument is sound, the example that you gave in support of your stand on the need to be stricter about visa requirements for overseas students is weak. You should opt for a stronger example such as the need to vet the applicants better in case they pose a danger to the citizens of a particular country. Normally, the possibility of allowing a terrorist into a country based on a student visa is the actual fear that grips the nations in terms of admitting foreign students. So such an example would better prove your ability to analyze the possible supporting evidence for your argument and also prove that you are up to date when it comes to the current socio-political discussions. Now, I noticed that you used the term "scarify" towards the end of your essay. Just for your information, the correct term is "sacrifice". You need to be careful about the way you spell the English words. The wrong spelling could either change the meaning of your word or, as in this case, make the sentence nonsensical because the term you used doesn't exist in the language. Save for these comments and corrections, your work on this essay is quite good. Grammar problems aside, you really showed that you are capable of discussing such a complicated topic in your own intermediate manner. Not bad at all.

**TED Summary : How simple ideas led to scientific discovery** There was an explanation about several sciences experiment by Chris Aderson. Firstly, Richard discovers about the Inertia. It was an experience when he was child that about a ball to the back of wagen. Secondly, Erastothenes measures the distance between Sweden and Alexandria to find out the diameter of Earth. Thridly, Galileo sets up an experience about light, he calculates the speed of light by a piece of equipment. However, he cannot get the result as it was too fast. Moreover, Armand F. finishes the previously discovery. All in all, with the invention by scientist , it would change the worlds.

Andika, here is a tip for when you are writing these sorts of essays, always use the full name of the person you are referring to because that helps to better identify the person and use the name recall for the readers who may know what you are talking about. It would add to their interest in learning more about what you are summarizing. Also, when you say that Chris Aderson is explaining several science experiments, make sure that you involve him throughout the summary by using terms such as "Aderson first referred to the experiment by Richard who...". Then say "He also called attention to the experiment of Erasthones that measured...". Conclude by saying "Finally, Aderson also made mention of Galileo whose experiment with..." You need to make sure that Aderson constantly connects the summary discussion in order to help the reader keep track of the topic. By the way, the term is "wagon" not "wagen". You also need to clarify what that experiment is all about because the way you explain it is difficult for the reader to understand. Remember, anytime the reader is stressed by what you wrote, you will lose points for it. Your conclusion specially needs cleaning up. What you meant to say is that " Scientific inventions would change the world." Pay attention to the way you develop your sentences. Make sure it is always clear and understandable to the reader.

**Drawings that show the beauty and fragility of earth** Zaria Forman has dedicated herself to preserve indefensible places which are projected will be extinct by climate change. It cannot be a dispute that there has been a proliferation of global warming over the last decades, therefore, she wants to witness changes in those sites until the time goes on. Her hope is to inform people to slow climate change. In addition, she has a tendency to persuade people to do so through art, it is because she believes that this easily touch people's feeling. source: youtube

Okay, your essay delivers the goals that Zaria Forman wishes to convey through her drawings. Your essay is direct to the point and really covers the most important and most obvious aspects of the talk that she gave. The summary works in terms of delivering the quickest and most obvious information from the video. It seems to me though that the summary could have been better presented if you had presented the information she shared regarding her more personal reasons for wishing to present the beauty of the earth this way. Such as the influence of her mother, the time she spent with the Inuit tribes, and other aspects which could have been summarized into the essay as the direct influences in her life that led her to portray her drawings in this realistic and beautiful manner. Make sure that you always listen to the video straight through so that you don't miss out on the other important but late introduced information within the talks given. You can do that. There will never be a video 20 minutes long for your review for the test.

**Global warming is the biggest threat we face today. To what extent do you agree or disagree.** It is commonly assumed that global warming is the major issue people have to cope up with in current circumstances. In my opinion, I would argue that I am in favor with this statement because several determinant factors which lead to global warming are happening, such as illegal logging, forest fires, an excessive amount of pollution from vehicles, and a waste from manufactured factories. Also, people as yet do not have any alternative planet to live on, so that this is absolutely the major issue to human beings. I firmly believe that global warming is crucial and the biggest threat on earth these days because the causes of this problem is underway. The first main problems are the illegal logging and forest fires, in which most of forests have changed into human settlements, and loads of trees are cut down. In Indonesia recently all media outlets were inundated with the news regarding to forest fires and illegal logging, in several parts of its provinces, such as Riau and Borneo. This is a tangible proof that causes of the global warming is happening. Subsequently, other causes are also happening, such as emission from cars and motorcycles and a waste from manufactured factories which litter many of Indonesian rivers. In fact, it is clear that there is a growing number of vehicles bought by people in many parts of the world. It means that the more people buy cars or motorcycles, the more emission soars to the atmosphere, which deteriorates current global warming. Moreover, in Indonesia, most of manufactured factories dispose their waste to the bank of the river, which triggered environmental issue. In fact, citarum river, located in west Java Indonesia, is one of the most polluted rivers in the world. To sum up, because of the causes of global warming that still happening nowadays, such as illegal logging, forest fires, pollution, and waste, I believe global warming is the biggest threat that people have to cope up with. And so far, people merely have one planet to live, so that if people cannot prevent the causes of global warming, it is not impossible that the Earth will perish.

Amril, in terms of discussion, it seems that you do not have enough evidence to support your stance that global warming is the biggest threat that we face today. Your essay depicts the strong causes of global warming, but you do not discuss the resulting catastrophes that emanate from the global warming sources that you mention. When you discuss the reasons why you agree with the statement, you need to cite proper reasons related to the causes for example, illegal logging causes soil erosion which in turn, cause massive flooding in various parts of the world. The constant increase in the heat temperature of the planet results in the melting of the polar ice caps which creates an imbalance in the water level of the sea when compared to land level. You mentioned an environmental issue in your country but failed to relate what it was and how it relates to global warming. Do you get my point? The way to discuss this sort of issue is simply by discussing actual events that represent global warming results. You cannot just mention the causes without listing the results. There is no supporting evidence for the side you have chosen to support without actual evidence based on the causes you chose to present. So in terms of discussion, this is quite weak and would lose points in terms of task achievement since you were not able to cite proper examples in support of your discussion. This is an opinion paper that needs supporting evidence in order to be effective in its argument.

These days, most of students in our generation are lazy, ungrateful and disrespectful to what came before their graduation. Based on this article, we should thank to all of people who always support us when we do our thesis. One of the ways that we can do to appreciate them is that putting their name in our final assignment and gives some regard. First of all, our parents merit more honor than anyone else. They are the most genuine people in the entire world who always give energy and time in our daily basis. They always bring many advantages and it makes us can reach many achieves. The second one is our friends that deserve our thanks. They always accompanied us to face any condition in campus life and give a lot of memories for us. The last but not the least is our lectures, professors, and senior who always share their experiences and also give much advice to us. Thus, just do the simple thing to say thank you for special people in our life.

Muhamad, you have just broken the singular most important rule in writing these summary essays. You copied, without even trying to rephrase the text, a whole portion of the original article. I refer to the portion that talks about the generation that is lazy, ungrateful, and disrespectful. The examiner will see that you did not even try to change the way that the section of that essay was presented and he will immediately fail you in this section of the test. You should always strive to present an original understanding of the essay that will never refer back to the original text in a form of plagiarism. The important thing to present in this essay is your own understanding of the text so you have to speak in your own words. You cannot duplicate the words from the original source. Try your best to present this same essay to us again. This time, do not use words from the original. As I reviewed your work, I found more words from the original source being presented here with almost no corrections. You need to make sure to never do that in the actual test so you might as well start practicing that during the practice tests.

Recently, Exergin, a company which focus to produce electricity from waste hot water in a wide range of applications, plans to run the first industrial trials of its technology. Exergyn also estimates the heat lost in waste hot water from several sectors such as cargo ships and big factories as equal as energy in Saudi Arabia's oil and gas output. They try to use new material called nitinol which has several usage such as medical equipments, sunglasses and NASA's transportation. They also argue that although a device only improves a less efficiency, but this is free energy we can get. Furthermore, company had spent their time to perfecting the design and the material. They also predict will expand to the geothermal market.

Dioba, your summary is lacking some information. Most notably, the name of the technology that Excergin developed. You neglected to mention the reason for the development of the technology and its other applications if any. Obviously this is a summary essay for a procedural report so a short description of the technology along with how it is executed should have been included in the summary. By the way, the technology cannot improve a "less efficiency" as all technology is developed in order to "improve efficiency" so I think you just made a mistake with your term usage in that instance. The essay speaks of other applications of the technology, but doesn't really indicate how the technology is ideally going to be used in the first place. Basically, the essay takes bits and pieces of information from all over the report without taking care to actually indicate the importance of certain procedures, descriptions, and keywords. That has weakened the summary ability of this essay and has resulted in a less than stellar and non-informative essay. The reader cannot really understand what the purpose of your summary is because of the lack of proper information within the written text.

**IELTS Summary TED (v) Nadia Lopez Why open a school To close a prison** Nadia Lopez, an educator and social activist, said "I want to open a school and close a prison" which she cited from Victor Hugo quote. The implication from the quote is she wants open a new school which located in a place with high crimes rates in Brownville section, Brooklyn. According to NYPD records, Brownsville is a city with the greatest crime rate in the US, particularly in shooting case. Commonly, like other orphan schools, she also faces several crucial problems such as low parental involvement, lack of funding and finding educators. Moreover, bad environment and high crime rates also contribute as obstacles in her way. Not over in that case, her students also have several problems come from their internal problems such as more than a quarter are need special treatment, majority of them unable in English and Math and all of students living in poverty.

Dioba, you have only presented the problems that Nadia Lopez faces in opening her school. A citation of the number of students involved in crime would have helped to illustrate the point that Brownsville has a problem with crime in relation to education. For the readers who are not familiar, you should have included a simple explanation of what an orphan school is based upon the discussion in the video. A single sentence describing such would have sufficed. Finally, always remember that when you present the negative, you need to present the positive as well. That means, your closing portion should have indicated the possible solutions that Nadia Lopez is looking at in order to keep the students in school and out of prison. Those were all mentioned in the video and should have been presented in summary form here as well. Without it, the summary comes across as imbalanced and lacking in a proper discussion summary.

Subhendu Sharma was speaker in the TEDx, he spoke that he fascinated to the forest. Recently, forest more help people to reduce the smog, but the problem was the forest rare finded among the cities. Therefore, the speaker had idea to create forest in the backyard. Beside reduce the pollutant, backyard forest offers more advantages, one of them was harvested fruit in the backyard. In addition, Backyard forest was simple to be created. They only use biomass as the basic materials such as grass, powder of rice house, coconut shell, organic manure and water. So people can create forest by themselves with simple way, efficient, and cheap.

Bambang, the essay that you wrote is quite informative and offers the key points of the discussion. However, the background for your speaker is not complete so the reason behind his fascination with forests leaves the reader wondering as to how and why he has that fascination. My suggestion is that in the portion where you present the name of the speaker and that he has a fascination with forests, you mention why that is so and what his early interests in the forest are all about. That way when you present the second part of the summary, the reader knows that the speaker has a personal connection with the topic. The early interests presents the foundation of his current interest in backyard forestry and why he is advocating that cause. When done that way, the essay summary truly leaves the reader completely informed.

**There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides.** In recent years, with the rapid development of the economy, the world has faced various debatable issues, one of which is the appropriate solution to the significantly increasing number of social evils. While some advocate that death sentence should be applied to stop this, others believe there are some alternative approaches. This essay will therefore analyze two viewpoints. The opinion to sentence someone to death is attractive for several reasons. First of all, capital punishment is the most powerful sentence, which may cause fear in a variety of criminals and result in a decline in the quantity of crimes committed. Obviously, there have been more and more deadly crimes against morality in this modern age. An outstanding example is the most recent terrorist attack in Paris, which took hundreds of innocent people's lives. It is therefore totally understandable that more death penalties should be put into practice to contribute to a peaceful society. On the other hand, I believe there are alternative measures that can produce the same results, however, be more humanitarian. Life sentence is one of the most effective approaches, which has been widely enforced in several countries. For instance, when a person puts an end to someone's life, whether intentionally or unintentionally, he may then seize the chance to lead another life whilst feeling remorse for what happened in the past thanks to life imprisonment. Besides, each and every person has the right to live, which is why others should give them the opportunity to rebuild their lives rather than sentencing them to death. To conclude, I would argue that despite the fact that death penalty can bring peace to the community, other measures are worth considering due to their humanity.

Mai, when you say that there are several reasons for a particular discussion, you actually need to mention those reasons and no, examples such as the Paris attacks do not count towards those reasons. The better way to have discussed your first reason would have been to immediately say that the death penalty is seen as the possible way to contribute to a peaceful society. Violet, you must remember something very important when writing this type of essay. The instruction stops with "Discuss both sides". It does not ask you to offer a personal opinion. Therefore, you should not say "I believe..." in the essay. You are not being asked to write an opinion essay, rather, you are being asked to write a comparison essay. When writing a comparison essay, the writer is not supposed to take sides. Just present the necessary data to create what is known as an informed reader. The reader should not be influenced by the writer of the essay to take a specific side.

**Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?** Schools have different opinion regarding to what their students should wear. It is generally believed by some schools that there should be tight rules as to school uniforms, while other schools assume have flexible clothes could be better. In my opinion, school outfits simultaneously bring benefits as well as drawbacks. In terms of the advantages, school dress code would create discipline and stronger bond amongst students, whereas the demerits are overpriced and pupils cannot be themselves. With regards to the benefits, the strict rules about school uniforms would lead to the discipline amongst pupils. When pupils are wearing their school dress code, they learn to obey what their teachers state to them, such as tucking their school clothes to pants. Taking my sister as an example, she is currently in the fifth grade of elementary school and usually wearing her school uniforms as she wants. Subsequently, it turns out that she gets the punishment from their teachers due to lack of discipline. As such, it makes her learning as to discipline in school. In addition, the uniform, I believe, would make a great sense of belonging amongst students because all students are treated the same one another. Also, no distinct school outfits can eliminate potential problem, such as who has better outfits than others. On the other hand, there are also drawbacks wearing school uniforms, in which most students cannot express their personalities clearly owing to school dress code. Every student, I firmly believe, aspires to be something when they become adults, whether to be a doctor, astronaut, journalist, or even has interest in arts and so on. Thus, pupils can choose their school outfits based on what they are really interested in, so that they can express themselves freely. The use of school uniforms then only hindered as such. Another disadvantage is that sometimes the school clothes sold by their teachers are overpriced than in stores. I, myself, once experienced this, in which the price of school uniforms is cheaper in store than in school. The aforementioned evidence reveals the merits and demerits regarding to the use of school uniforms. Training discipline and making a solid bond amongst students can be the benefits, while the disadvantages are students cannot be themselves and the exorbitant price of schools uniforms sold by school official.

Hi Amril, now i understand why you made that mistake. You need to get out of that mindset. I know that the essay prompts all sound similar already after a certain point of constantly doing them. That is why you have to be conscious of the fact that there are various types of instructions attached to certain prompt. Once you are always aware that you have to read the prompt in totality, you should be able to avoid that problem in the future. Also, you have to be sure that you leave some time to proof read your essay so that you can double check your content against the prompt. This will ensure that you did not forget to discuss something or that you did not discuss a topic that is not included in the prompt. When you write an essay asking you to compare two sides, you are not allowed to present an opinion. It is not your job to influence the decision of the reader in this type of essay. Your only task is to present evidence coming from both sides for the consideration of the reader. The reader must be allowed to come to a conclusion on his own. There is no right or wrong way to respond to this essay. As long as you represent both sides, neutrally in your discussion, meaning you do not take sides or present an opinion, the essay will be acceptable. Your grammar is alright. I do not feel a need to correct the grammar because it was understandable and showed a sense of logic and progression in your discussion. Your language is not so simple that it is elementary in presentation. I would say this is an intermediate sort of English language use which would be beneficial to your final score.

In this TED video, the speaker gives an explanation about the development of brain by learn about bilingual and multilingual languages. She discovered that the children who have learned more than one language, their brain can work differentially than others. Furthermore, she is disparate people who study about languages to two stages, active and passive learners. The active learners are doing speaking and writing whereas the passive one just learn from listening and reading. However, the active persons can get more benefits for their brain since it trains their brain for more complex situation. Finally, for the end of her speech, he said that by learning bilingual languages, it can make people smarter, healthier and also become the active person in the future.

Muhamad, just a word of advice, remember to listen well to the voice of the speaker in the video. In this instance, the speaker was a woman and not a man so you should have used the pronoun "she" and not "he". The proper terminology used in the essay also counts towards your final score so be very careful about your pronoun assignments. Now, when you are trying to use complex terminology in the essay to prove your widened vocabulary, you must be certain that the term you are using is applicable to the scenario in this case, disparate means "essentially different in kind" or "not allowing for comparison". As you heard in the essay, no such thing happened. Instead, there was a differentiation between the types of language learners and how they learn. Therefore, you should have used a different term. In my opinion, the term you should have used could have been "differentiated" instead. To differentiate means to recognize or ascertain what makes something different. Since you are showing the difference between the types of learners, differentiate would have been the more proper term to use. Remember, using a complex word in the wrong context will have an effect on your final score. Your wide lexicon must be supported by the correct usage of the term otherwise, the reviewer will recognize that you do not really have a wide vocabulary and you do not understand the meaning of the word you used.

**Mia Nacamulli - The benefits of a bilingual brain** Learning more than one language has many advantages for people especially for children. This is because the brain will work well if people force themselves to understand another language which is not their first language. Therefore, all of hemispheres of brain have to work together to produce different accent and pronunciation from the other language. In addition, children will be easier to learn new language than elderly. In conclusion, having bilingual does not make our brain smart, yet it makes us healthier, complex, and actively engaged. *source: ed.ted.com/lessons/how-speaking-multiple-languages-benefits-the-brain-mia-nacamulli#watch*

Bung, the summary that you wrote is too rushed and does not inform the reader of the necessary parts of the video. The most important parts being the description of the 3 types of bilingual brains. Since you did not indicate that in your report, you were unable to properly assess the video material for information and importance. While the rest of your information was based on the video report, there was no instance where you actually informed the reader properly regarding the main topic being discussed in the video. Therefore, your essay is wanting in information and clarity. As far as task achievement goes, you only partially fulfilled the needs of the essay due to your failure to indicate the key points of discussion in the essay. Sadly, that may have an effect on the final score that you could possibly get. Just remember, the key discussions must always be represented in the essay. So do your best to identify and note its importance during the listening segment of the test.

**Electric fields can stimulate deep in your brain without surgery** Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS) is one of the latest inventions for medical treatment in the meantime. This method begins to deliver an electrical current deep into the brain by implanting a long thin electrode through a hole in the skull. Therefore, it is predicted that this way will be used in many investigation such as for depression, obesity and obsessive compulsive disorder without needing for surgery.

Bung, when you write a summary essay like this, make sure to represent both sides of the discussion in the essay. The original article indicates that there are both good and bad, pros and cons, of using this system of treatment. Therefore, you must present the bad opinion in your summary also. What I noticed is that you only read the first half of the article, you did not read the article to the very end. Which is why you were only able to present the first half of the discussion in your presentation. You must practice reading faster and more efficiently so that you will always present a full discussion. Learn how to take note of keywords and data through the scanning of the article. If you must read under a time limitation, make sure to note as much of the original article as you can during the note taking period. This will help you develop a more informed essay presentation.

The central bank of Indonesia officially released regarding the office of the financial breakthrough technology on November, 14th. This office as advisory central for plenty of (fintech) financial technology firms in Indonesia has played an enormously role in economic issue in Indonesia. The reason is perfectly plain that this innovation are used to develop industry for more expanding and making sure better financial inclusion since the fact that almost half the Indonesia inhabitants had a lack of knowledge about financial literature. Surprisingly, there have been 120 companies driving financial companies with a vast range of segments such as e-wallet, financial settlements and crowdfunding platforms.

Nina, you should have also mentioned that the Central Bank is involved in the planning and overseeing of the fintech companies because more than half the population of Indonesia doesn't have access to banks. That is one of the main reasons as to why the fintech was developed by the government and central bank. Adding that the same system has been successfully launched in Singapore and the UK, as indicated in the report would have also added to the idea that you analyzed the article for important keywords and information that could help the reader gain a sort of confidence in the technology being launched in their own country. As it is, the information in you present is informative, but missed some extra important points in the summary presentation.

The article from Jakarta post reveals the information about Ahok named suspect in blasphemy case. As we know that for the last few weeks Basuki Tjahaja Purnama, usually called 'Ahok', made a comment about Al-Quran verse when he visited Thousand Islands Regency to speech in late September. Regarding to his controversial speech, over 10,000 people which mostly come from several Muslim groups held a protest at Bundaran HI Jakarta to prosecute Ahok in the blasphemy case. On Tuesday, National Police's Criminal Investigation Department (Bareskrim) had probed evidence from dozen witnesses during ten-hour case screening and previously, several Muslim figures had cited law enforces of protecting the governor, Ahok. Regarding to the outcome of Tuesday investigation, the National Police have named Jakarta Governor, Ahok, a suspect in that blasphemy case and banned Ahok from traveling overseas. Meanwhile, Ahok tells his supporter to accept police decision. thejakartapost

Nda, this is not a bad summary of the original article. You have covered most of the important points and presented valid evidence. However, there is some lack of clarity in your statements. For example, Ahok did not just make statements, he made "congroversial statements" which led to the protest and blasphemy charges. The word "controversial" is important because it explains the reason why he was investigated by the police and protested by the people. Without the descriptive word to emphasize his actions, the reason for the investigation and protest is not clear. In addition, you should have added the part about the police indicating that he will have a public trial as that explains what kind of justice system he will be facing for his actions. The rest of the essay is acceptable in its current form.

**TED Summary : Grit : the power of passion and perseverance | Angela Lee Duckworth** The most demanding job in Angela period was teaching the children in the school. When Angela taught 7 grade a mathematic in New York City Public School, she made quiz, test, homework and assingment every day. She found that iq was not only different between the best and worst student. Some of the strongest performance student did not have better iq score than others. She believed that one of her student could learn the material of study. If they focus on study a subject, they can reach their dream. After taught 7 years in school, she got that what we needed in education which was understanding well between student and learning the subject. Moreover, She left the school and started to be psychologist. She found many information about kids and adults from all any kinds of superchallenging settings. After that, she and her team asked about several question related to ability of people from kids and adults. In conclusion, she discovered grit was the answer of the problem. Grit was about the passion and perseverance to be better person.

Andika, while I will give you an allowance for misspelling words due to the fact that you were writing under time constraint, please be reminded that word misspellings in an actual test will result in a lower score as points will be deducted accordingly in the final band score. I am unclear as to who Angela is because your sentence development was unclear. I am not sure what you mean by "Angela period". I know that Angela is the topic of the article, but how did she become a period in school? Since that would have been your topic sentence in an actual test format, you will have immediately failed the test as you did not properly represent the topic sentence from the original source. Since you would not have scored well due to the problem with the topic sentence and the spelling mistakes, I would like to give you a chance to repeat this essay. This time, pay attention to your spelling and properly develop your topic sentence in order to gain a better score. I know you can do it. You just need to concentrate this time around.

Based on data, 30 percent of men higher to drop out from school. In Canada, each 5 boys drop out in school whereas just 3 girls drop out from school. Young man can spend his time for playing video games and watching porn on internet. Video porn is very dangerous because it can ruin men's brain. I think parents must be more protect to their son, because right now pornograph became one of many entertainment from internet.

Alfin, there is a grave error in the summary that you wrote. You are not allowed to present a personal opinion when summarizing this article / video as you are only required to present the immediate and important information that you gained from the original source. Therefore, your summary essay will lose points for not following directions. I wish that you had presented the url of the original article / video for our reference here. It is important that we learn the actual information you were provided with in order for us to properly assess your work. Right now, the work is coming across as sloppy and uninformative because there is a lack of foundation or background reference based on the original. Had you made some reference to the other important elements from the source, we may have at least, been able to follow the flow of information that is required in the essay. It's not too late for you to present the address of the source. We can still review your essay in a better form if you do that.

The young range is the most difficult stage of their life which changed from the elusive pink aquatic salamanders that hatched inside Slovenia's Postojna Cave about four months ago. Finally, it can conclude that the only one which known about the civilization is the baby dragons. It can be explained that they life range until 100 years old and the laying process is once or twice a decade, which their life in small community and in contaminated water. Source : newscientist

Yurike, there are certain errors in your summary. For example, the pink aquatic salamanders do not live in contaminated water. These sea creatures live in the drinking water coming from the Karst area. The summary said the people are protecting the waters because, aside from the pink salamanders living in it, they also get their drinking water there. The report said that the water cannot be contaminated because it would not only pollute the living quarters of the salamanders, but the people would not have any water to drink either. I know that you are writing these essays under a time constraint but you need to learn that rushing through the essay and then submitting without double checking your information will cost you points in the exam. So you have to learn to time yourself, leaving enough time to double check your information before you hit the submit button. Remember, your information has to be accurate or you will fail the test due to wrong information and a clear misunderstanding of the English language. Your task accuracy will fail.

Needless to say, having an enjoyable holiday is overwhelmingly appealing. However, it is enormously terrifying when we make a plan for this entertainment with such narcissistic personality people. How can we deal with this circumstances?. As such, this article explains just to make them become your friend. Subsequently, playing the contrary role is good notion when you get fruitless twattling. Another way is to trying to make them feel good with interesting question. health

Imanina, you are supposed to be writing a summary of the article. So why did you not include any of the important information from the article in the summary? There was no data regarding the percentage of people considered narcissistic, nor a breakdown of the 5 ways to deal with such a personality type while on vacation. The article clearly indicates the aforementioned data in both facts and figures, with some witty examples to boot. Why did you pass up on the chance to show the examiner that you know how to summarize an article by simply listing down the important keywords from it? You should have mentioned the information even if you could not provide a description for each. Right now, what you have is an opinion statement, not a summary of an article.

**Speedy bat flies at 160km/h, smashing bird speed record** Brazilian bat has become the fastest vertebrate animal after reaching of speed nearly 160 Km/h. It disputes the previous finding which revealed that bird fly 112 km/h, which made them faster than a bat. However, the research carried out by McCracken's team believed that they have discovered outcome which people had not heard of. They also argue that their measurement is precise, using the speed device which is usually used for the airplane. It is clear that this result invites many disagreements from other analysists who criticized that there was something wrong on estimating process of speed. The first scholar who has a different tendency is Prof. Graham Taylor, he remarked that this is untrusted information which none should know. However, some analysts regard that bat could fly under 160 km/h because it was helped by gravitation force, impacting to increasing their flying speed. He added that this is very possible because the research object was Brazilian bat which well-known by its ability to travel far away almost 50 km. Source: newscientist

Lincoln, your article summary should have been presented in three parts, just as the original article was presented.This is because the article discussion was divided into three parts covering the event that happened which is being reported, the assumptions as to how the bats gained so much speed, and then finally, the realization that the scientists had no idea as to why the bats flew that fast. That said, your summary does try to present most of the information in the article. Although, the presentation doesn't really leave the reader as informed as he could be due to way that you seemed to rush through the summary. When writing a summary based on an article that has sub topics in the discussion, make sure that you cover all of the important data presented in the sub topics as well. At this point, this essay informs the reader, but does not clarify the points that he will find himself asking towards the end of your summary report.

Mathematic and science are as main feature in industrial revolution era like now. TIMSS, or Trends in International Mathematics and Science Study, is researching to 9-10-year-olds and 13-14-year-olds from more than 50 countries every four years which to know about the comparison ranking on mathematical and sciencetific knowledge. The result shows students in western Western be left behind in mathematic and science field from their coeval in countries like Singapore and Japan. This is caused by many reason which unapposite in their place. Firstly, the education in college in western was included in common average and better than many developed countries. Secondly, the correlation of test scores and future economic success that it isn't decide the measurement of success ways. But, the true of affluence is determined from innovative skills, mainly in mathematic and science field, not only by education rank of their school. The government must be evaluate the standart of curriculum collage, especially in mathematic and science and revolutionary the common test in order to tend to be world based of standart test. Source : newscientist

Yurike, your summary should have been written in a summarized comparison form because the article indicated that there were two tests being discussed as far as relevance in rating the students learning capacity. These exams were the TIMMS and PISA student rankings. The article is actually far longer than the summary that you wrote. It also lacks much of the pertinent information that is contained in the article. The shortcoming of your summary comes from the mistake in the information that you decided to present. The information that you actually have in your essay would have been best presented as the latter or the concluding statement of your summary essay. Had you presented the summary that way, the examiner would have gotten a better idea regarding your ability to do comparisons and understand long, intricate, and data driven articles.

**Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?** Recycling domestic waste has become controversial issue among people. Most argued that there should be more plastics or papers processed in recycled machine than it was recently. Thus, all we need is stringent measures to encourage citizens to get involved in this attempt. However, I personally disagree with this initiative issue since the role of education is more essential in order to engage people recycling the garbage. It is often believed that the power of laws can drive citizens to obey desired attitudes in the society. This is because whoever neglects the rules will be punished, either by paying fines or putting in the jail. For instance, a car driver passing 3 in 1 lines has to ensure that he picks up at least 3 passengers. If they do not so, they are going to be prisoned or to pay $3,000. However, it is undeniable that office workers who are in a hurry hire others to accompany them during the journey. Clearly, establishing an official obligation is not effective to encourage citizens in the term of recycling process. Educated young people about environmental science in the formal institution is a worth idea to raise awareness of the importance of recycling. As a matter of fact, students will realize why it is significant to modify old things, and they can learn how to reuse those. In addition, students who are going to be adults in the immediate future will bring the household rubbish to the recycling centre without any force, having their own initiatives. Furthermore, young people can introduce this way to other family members. To sum up, the majority of people think that official statements have affords to tackle the recycling problem. Meanwhile I have a tendency to think that it is better to educate young people because they will bring greater impacts on the environment. Hopefully, citizens are going to welcome this idea.

Nurul, the prompt is asking you about laws regarding the implementation of recycling in communities. You are supposed to be discussing the possibility or necessity of implementing more laws in order to get people to recycle more materials. I cannot understand why you are discussing education instead in your essay. The prompt doesn't ask you anything about educating the people so it is clear that you did not understand the prompt requirements for this essay. There is no clear discussion regarding the extent or necessity of laws that could encourage people to increase their recycling. So if I were the examiner, it will be clear to me that you did not understand the prompt requirements, which led to the wrong discussion in your essay. I will not grade this essay for you because it will not have a passing grade. I will however, encourage you to revise your essay in order to give you another chance to fully understand the prompt and properly discuss the material. You will not get the same chance in a real test so I suggest that you work on your English comprehension skills in order to ensure that you will not only understand the prompt, but that you will also be able to discuss it properly.

**TED Summary : English Mania** The is an interesting topic about mania. In this day, many people trying to learn english. The number of people started to study this from approximately 2 billions of them. The most mania english came from China. Many people in this world choose english language as it can get opportunity for better life and job. All in all, English became the global conversation for solving problem such as Global climate, hunger and disease.

Andika, when you write a summary, don't forget to present a proper summary of the discussion. For example, in this essay, you should have presented an explanation regarding the topic, which is Mania, how it started, where it has spread, and sufficient reasons as to explain why English is a mania that shows no signs of stopping. Your opening sentence does not really inform the reader about anything. Actually, the sentence makes it sound like you are starting the essay at the middle instead of at a proper start point that offered some information about the forthcoming summary. There are no supporting statements regarding the reason why English became the global language either. So this summary is definitely going to have problems when it comes to scoring it for content, relevance, cohesion, and grammar. You need to practice note taking in a better manner in order to properly summarize video reports.

**Hello everyone, My name is Hang. I am a newcomer.Below is my essay. I am appreciate every your comment and feedback. Thank you in advance.** The sad fact is that in many places where dog meat is consumed, the dogs raised for food commonly endure a lifetime of abuse and often are slaughtered in a manner that is nightmarish in its brutality. There are many places ate dog meat such as: Europe, Russia, Africa, Latin America, China, the Philippines, and South Korea, Viet Nam. Now i will show you two places in particular where often eat dog meat is the South Korea and Viet Nam. plagiarized content removed Have you ever ask the question : '' Why we should not eat dog meat?" Absolutely, Dogs are really friendly and lovely . They will play with you and stay by your side when you are sad or lonely. In addition, Dogs is one of the most loyal pet who never betray you, follow you everywhere, protect you , and dont ask for much in return. Alos, Dogs are great family members and have the above-mentioned positive effects on the whole family. Your dog might not be dangerous, but by simply barking he can keep away a burglar who might think of entering your house. Now i want to tell you a true story about a little dog. You know, My neighbours raised a little dog. Unfortunately, his life was as a nightmare. He is beaten, kept outsides. Even , the owner just feed him when they like and throw away food on the ground. One day, I heard that they want to kill him for meat. Immediately, i think i have to save him by any means after an unsuccessful conversation with them. I decide to steal him and give my best friend to adopt him. I know that it is not a good method and my behaviour may be wrong, but i dont know what is better to do for him and i can not see him die like that. So i dont advise you to act as me, but i want to say that Dogs are friends not meat. Dont hesitate to recuse them when dogs are in danger with the most suitable ways. Finally, i want to shows the tips to keep dogs safe. You should not keep your pet outsides at night. Besides, Dont let your pet go out alone at night. The more important tip is that You have to keep an eye on your dog everytime, Thats mean you should lock gate when you go out. Also, Dont let your pet eat food from strangers. This will become a danger for your precious dog. Moreover, you should know how to do first aid when your dog eat food from poisoning the theft. What is more, you should hold many campaigns from stopping eating dog and raise people's awareness about loving animal. For all those reason, i strongly recommend that we should act to protect dogs- our beloved friends. . I still remember the quote like that : " Such short little lives our pet have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to come home each day." So Dogs are friends, not food.

Hang, I am not sure about the format that you have written your essay in. I have not come across an essay before where the prompt is placed in the middle of the essay. It is normally placed within the first paragraph of the essay because you are supposed to inform the reader about the topic of the essay before you progress further in the discussion. I sense a separation from your original topic towards the latter part of your essay. You went from the topic of eating dog meat to the safe keeping of dogs. I believe that you are trying to discuss too many topics related to protecting your dog without really knowing how to do it. So here is my suggestion. Outline your plan of writing for your essay. Make sure that you follow a logical introduction of the topics you want to discuss so that each paragraph relates to and properly introduces the next topic to the reader. By doing that, you will allow the reader to get a clearer idea of what it is you want to discuss. Most importantly, you will need to develop a proper thesis for your essay at the start. Explain the topic you will be talking about, why you believe it is important to learn about this, and what your conclusion might be. That way you present the order of discussion to your reader before he begins to read your work. That said, being a dog lover myself, I appreciate the work that you have placed in this paper and the suggestions that you have made. I too do not agree with the consumption of dog meat. They are pets and are not groomed as cattle. There is room for improvement in the essay so I hope that you will come back with a revised version of your work.

A new puzzle appeared in Samuel and Ronan's birthday. Due to the daylight saving time that required time to retreat an hour, the first child was then younger that his twin. Fact said that Samuel was born at 1.39 a.m. on sixth November, 31 minutes later, his twin brother was given a birth but the o'clock set at 1.10 a.m. Source : cosmopolitan

Mujja, your summary is short and distinct. You definitely presented the sole important information, with an acceptable explanation of daylight savings time in the essay. However, you could have added some other important information to make the summary more informative. Information like the fact that the twins have a 2 year old sister, this was the first time that such a birth happened at the hospital, and that the parents actually tweeted about the confusing birth. By the way, the name of the hospital should have been included in the summary since that is where the twins were born. That said, I have to tell you that you used such a lighthearted manner of writing the summary that I almost did not want to call your attention to the missing and weak data that you have in the essay. Always make sure that you note the important information before you write your summary. You have enough time during the test to make sure that you don't miss out on anything that can affect your final score.

**Gender equality is boosted by better infection control** Development in gender equality over the last few decades has been brought by better control of infectious disease. This is because women, today, have golden opportunity to continue their education; therefore their awareness about health is much more improved. As a consequence, improvements in infection control are more likely to have similar high stakes for women in developing countries. source: newscientist

Bung, you rushed through the process of summarizing your article. You did not read the essay in its totality. There were two aspects of the article that needed to be represented in your summary. These are the infections and child birth parts. Both of which seem to have a direct relation with gender equality throughout history. Your summary is actually very poor and wanting in information. You were not able to properly assess and note the important information that could have made your summary quite a complete an informative one. Did you read the whole article or not? If you did, was the reason your summary was too weak because you could not express yourself properly? Or did you just run out of time while you were developing the summary ? These are all reasons that could contribute to your failing this particular test. I want you to try and better apply yourself in your next practice run by trying to really create a balanced and informed summary. I suggest that you try to rewrite this summary when you have the time. This time, base your summary on the suggestions I provided here.

The article from newscientist.com explained about the special event that occurred on Monday Night, 14 November where the full moon would be the closest to the Earth. This phenomenon which occurred once in around 70-year period called a supermoon, means the moon was a bit bigger and brighter than it normally appears. A full moon happens when the sun, the Earth and the moon are all lined up in a row which is called a syzygy. When the full moon is at the point in its closest point to the Earth, supermoon occurs. This particular phenomenon, the supermoon, would be 356,511 kilometres from Earth - the closest it has come since 1984. Supermoons are approximately a third larger in area and 30 percent bright than the full moon in the furthest orbit. This phenomenon will occur again in 16 October and 14 December 2016. newscientist

Nurul, you will have to be careful about plagiarizing content in you summary. I caught a few cut and paste bits of information in your summary that were taken directly from the article. You did not bother to restate the information at all. This could cause a problem for you in an actual test because you are expected to produce your own interpretation of the information provided. The examiner will know if you wrote the material or not. Though you cannot cut and paste in the actual test, you can still copy the text and retype it. Please, be very careful. Always make sure that you compose an original thought or understanding of all the given information. The more I read your summary, the more I am convinced that you did not even try to create your own understanding for a major part of the summary. It is nice to know though, that you have the ability to pick out the most important information in the article for presentation in your paper. You just need to find your own voice so that you can effectively present your understanding of the information to the reader. I am sure you won't make that mistake again now that it has been pointed out to you.

Dakatua, Pago, Billy Mitchell were volcanoes in Papua New Guinea which produced the biggest eruptions in the past and stood at VEI 5. Not only both of them, but also some volcanoes such as Rabaul, Tavui, Ulawun, Lolobau, Lamington, Karkar, Manam and Long Island which produce the second largest of eruptions and reached by VEI 4 in few millennia ago. For information, VEI is Volcanic Explosivity Index and the function of VEI is measuring the size of an eruption. It means that Papua New Guinea hides several of the most dangerous volcanoes on our planet. That's why inhabitants in there should be reminders about the most hazardous threats and the worse possibility if one of the volcanoes in there is eruption. Not only for the citizens in there, but also this warning for people in the world which is the chance of massive eruption that could be have a worldwide impact. source: wired

Dioba, will you consider adding some information to this essay for its informative improvement? While the summary is sufficient, the only way to prove your claims about the most dangerous volcanoes existing in Papua New Guinea is to also provide information about the immediate effects of the explosion. Just mentioning the height and range of the explosions would further improve the content of your summary. You should have done that because you made mention of the Volcanic Explosivity Index which is tasked to measure the eruptions. What was the use of mentioning that index when you did not mention the measurements of the eruptions when you listed the volcanoes in the country? Make sure that when you write your summaries, that you double check your information to match all of the important data included. In this case, the measurements should have accompanied the index.

The owner of a legendary gudeg (one of traditional food from Yogyakarta which contains with palm sugar and coconut milk) store in Yogyakarta, Djuhariah "Yu Djum", passed away on Monday, November 14, 2016. She was undergo for three days before passing away at Bethesda hospital in Yogyakarta. Yu Djum's boday was taken to her house and she will be buried on Tuesday, November 15, 2016. Yu Djum's gudeg is famous for its fans since the taste is delicious and the traditional cooking basis. Many citizens have sent their sympathy regarding Yu Djum's passing, including Indonesian culinary masters. thejakartapost

Mohamed, let's get some of your error information clarified here. For starters, the body of Yu Djum was not taken home. According to the report that was in the newspaper, her body was taken to a funeral home. That is a place where dead bodies are prepared for interment. It is not to be confused with the home of the deceased. I am guessing that the word HOME in the report is that made you think that she was brought to the place where she lived instead of the place where she was to be brought in preparation for burial. Next. The term is BODY and not BODAY. I think your fingers typed faster than your brain could spell in this instance. That normally happens when one is typing in a rush. Remember to double check your spelling before you submit your essay. These simple mistakes could spell the difference between passing and failing this section of the test. The rest of the essay adheres and properly represents the remaining important information in the essay though. So you did not do too bad in developing the summary essay.

**TED Summary : The World's English Mania** In this TED video, the speaker opened his speech with mania. Many societies have their own craziness activities, for example mania on music, education, and other things. However, the most noticeable mania base on this speaker is about English mania. It is because English become predominated language in the world and about a billion people use this linguistic. Finally, English appeared to be true as the global conversation since most of people think that it is represented hope for the better life in the future.

Muhamad, where is the link to the video? It seems that you wrote a summary which does not really pay attention to any major details, points of discussion, or information from the essay other than what you chose to present. Perhaps that is because it was easiest for you to remember this generic information? Your essay is definitely lacking some data that could have helped to make this summary more informative. In terms of your use of the English language though, you are showing an intermediate ability to inform people in English. You are coherent where it counts and you have managed to present your summary in what would seem like a proper progression. That does not erase the fact that your summary is only 4 sentences long which, by all accounts, is too short for this to be considered a truly informative summary statement.

Nowadays, education is the key point of every aspect, therefore the responsibility of people who work in educational major is commonly put to discussion. In my opinion, a teacher has a significant role in the study progress of a student. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. First of all, teacher ensures all the students reach the goals of the lessons, which is the fundamental purpose of studying. Each student has their own level of comprehension, their own strength and weakness on various subjects. Because of these differences, students are hardly approach all important content without the assistance of a teacher. You can easily see this situation in any classes. In a class of a specific subject, for example Math, there are likely to be two groups. Group one contains students who are prompt and sensible in solving equations. They are energetic in class and excited to spend more time in solving Math problems. However, students from group two have difficulties in absorbing the lessons and are frustrated in studying Math problems. Therefore, the teacher will help group one advance their knowledge and explore more from the material while using the appropriate methods to guarantee group two to thoroughly learn the material. The teacher comes out to be the intermediate element between the lessons and the students. Secondly, teacher helps the students stay focus and prevent them from distraction, which are things young people usually struggle with. Students commonly get distracted by minor factors presenting in daily life such as smartphones, social networking websites and entertainment activities. They not only interrupt the studying progress but also make the students spend much time which is supposed to be invested in learning. As I mentioned above, there are two opposite groups that exist in Math class. Students from group two are more easily distracted than group one. Beside helping them learn the material, teacher also monitors them in order to assure they focus on the lessons, finish their tasks and do not do irrelevant things while studying. As a result, the studying progress with the presence of the teacher becomes more effective. In conclusion, I strongly agree that the teacher's responsibility is important for the students to comprehend the material. This is because the teacher helps the students approach the goals of the lessons and eliminates factors that distract the students from studying.

Kinnie, in order to make your argument even stronger in this essay, you should have taken the time to present the opposing statement. This is a statement that you could have made in the opening paragraph of your essay. The reason that you need to present an opposing side in this type of discussion is because you need to show a balance of information in the written work. That means that, while you represent one side of the story, you should also be able to provide a discussion regarding the reasons why some people have an opposing point of view. When you present a balanced look at the discussion, you show the reviewer that you have the ability to think logically in English and that you have a clear understanding of the topic, not necessarily the prompt, that you are being asked to discuss. Doing so would further increase your chances of getting an increased score in the end.

**Why Brexit happened.** Ted speaker said that Brexit phenomenon is the good decision to Britain societies to face more problem caused by globalisation. This phenomenon gives big impact to the Europe, because it is not about politic, but more that, Brexit phenomenon are engaging many things around the world such as education, trade, and social. The speaker said, It Is not about right and life but to serve British societies from crisis globalisation and it is about tax, economy and politic. There are two facts that speaker tell, the first is degree of immigration and refugee always increase every year. They come from more countries the world. This phenomenon will leads Britain to the bad impact. It is not about tolerance, open society, and inclusive but it is to keep nationalism from negative globalisation effect. Based on speaker experience they find out that British people completely open and tolerance. Overtime, Globalisation and immigrant can be vanishing their culture and all of the aspects such as language, behaviour and education. The second fact is Liberalism international will threaten the nationalism of Britain civil. The New way of globalisation cause open liberal people in the Britain therefore government should give protection to keep and manage the globalisation. Britain believe that this policy will reduce the Immigrant, refugee and can manage globalisation effectively. Brexit will divide among civil life, culture ,education, and globalisation.

Hi Bambang, I was just wondering, who was the speaker at the forum? I mean, I know who the speaker is because I watched the video. But if you are presenting this information to a person who doesn't have access to the video and can only read your summary of the talk, you will leave that person wondering about who the speaker is, what his background is that makes him an authority to discuss the Brexit vote, along with the where and why he was invited to give this lecture. You gave some pretty simple overviews of the information from the video. I wish you had developed the explanations with at least 2 sentences more for each. Just so that you could have enlightened the reader a bit more about the topics covered during the video talk. Not a bad summary though. I know you will continue to improve your summary skills as you progress with your practices.

Hello i need to write an essay in a rogerian format (group project) and this is my first time ever writing in this style. So please if you could give me a feedback on how to improve or fix any mistakes, it would be very much appreciated. note: this is the format that the professor wanted **Title: The pros and cons of being a part of the social network** **Intro** Are social network site helpful or harmful? Some people argue that too much information in the hands of the wrong people can be dangerous. Major social network websites such as Facebook, twitter and Instagram are used to stay connected with friends and family. These sites allow users to interact with new people and is a good way to be exposed to strangers. While these networking sites can be helpful for increased social interaction, It stops being beneficial when the decrease in privacy is overlooked. **Benefit of Social media** The concerns of privacy may be present but it relies on the users' actions and how they utilize these social network sites. For example, some people build fake relationships rather than real ones because there are those who lack communication skills and they find it easier to engage in a conversation through messaging rather than verbally speaking to a person. With this, people found that social networking sites have a positive effect on their life because it helps in social interactions and gives more opportunities to make social connections. Social Networking allows people to communicate in a very short time. This has led to the creation of a site that is involved in helping the community. Sites like 'Linked' are dedicated to helping those people who are hunting for jobs. Candidates can create or use their existing resume and upload them to these sites where employers can search for the qualifications that they are interested in. Also companies can advertise for jobs on these sites and have a high chance of obtaining a highly qualified person. Lastly, social networking has increased the opportunities for business. Businesses study trends that are popular within communities and they utilize the social media websites to promote and advertise their product. Social marketing is cost effective and even unfamiliar brands are getting attention from huge audiences which has been an effective way to advertise. **Drawback** People should understand what the social networking websites can do with their information. The privacy policy that social networking websites provide shows where and how their personal information is used and protected. The majority of users lack either the education or competence to protect their privacy online including through social networking websites. In a study done by Nili Steinfeld, out of 45 different privacy policies the average number of words are 2400 words. There may be words and phrases that may be difficult to understand and ultimately be inconvenient to the user to read, which would lead to the users accepting the terms without reading. in an experiment done by Ross Malaga, a total of 173 of 178,207 unique visitors clicked on the privacy policy over a six month period. The website was for a women`s apparel site where credit card information was required. in addition only 7 of the 45 policies require the website to notify the user if there is a change made to the privacy policy. This can lead to more security vulnerabilities that could create opportunities for hacking and information theft and less ways of prevention through user involvement. **Negative** One of the big concerns of social network is being able to be anonymous because it allows a potential criminals, whether it be sexual offenders, stalkers or psychos, to hide their identity. On the web, they can appear to be ordinary people and users have no idea whether they are real or fake. This discourages online relationships because of the low chance that the person you meet on the web is authentic. The social networking sites are not as private as people may think. They fail to realize that everything that gets uploaded into the internet does not get permanently get deleted. People sometimes post their opinion or photos regardless of it being inappropriate or not. While one moment a photo of friends doing shots at a party may seem harmless, the image may appear less attractive in the context of an employer doing a background check. Social networking sites encourage people to share their everyday events and intimate details of their lives can be posted so easily. Most sites allow their users to control who sees the things they've posted, but such limitations are often forgotten. Social networking sites can be bad for users' health. Usually social network sites can be browsed through a computer. Prolonged usage of these sites can be harmful because sitting in front of a computer requires zero physical activity. Statistics show that sitting in front of the computer all day causes poor posture, eye strain, and poor circulation. Because these computerized interaction involves zero face to face interaction, there is no motivation for these individuals to leave the house or to go exercise. Eventually this can severely affect one's health. **Drawback** The social networking sites may lack in privacy but there is a reason behind that. Most social networking websites requires personal information in order to create a profile. They allow users have a choice of putting it as public or private; however, the websites will still have access to the information regardless. Users may feel that these sites doesn't provide enough security, but a social networking website cannot be completely secure because then it would not allow anyone access. By doing so, it prevents users from making connections which goes against the purpose of these social networking sites. **Similarities** Social media can be just as harmful as it is helpful in the wrong hands. While these online environment can be used for social interactions, one can use them as a tool to harm people such as cyber bullying. (Need to expand this section) \*need help in this section, cant think of any similarities\* **Conclusion** Social networking sites can be very beneficial for keeping contact with family members and friends; however, one must be aware of the possible dangerous scenarios that can occur and know how to handle these situations. People should take the advantage of making their profiles private because it filters out unwanted visitors and can be done with only a few mouse clicks. People should remember that these sites can be used for advantageous reasons but remember that it should not put any limitations on them. They should go out and physically meet and communicate with people in the real world rather than being restricted to computerized interactions. To wrap up, users of these sites need to be aware of the obvious and not so obvious effects of these sites and use them with their utmost caution.

Kevin, I think that you should consider omitting the portion that discusses the health drawbacks of social media because you were not able to provide additional discussion about it, such as the positive health results of social media, in other sections of the paper. So that section becomes irrelevant to the discussion. Most of your focus in the essay is on the privacy of the person using social media. There is no follow up discussion on the health consequences or benefits in other sections. Therefore, you need to remove that reference paragraph in order to keep your essay focused on the privacy aspect alone. That is of course, unless you can figure out way to use the positive health benefits of social media in the Similarities discussion. For the Similarities portion, aside from cyber-bullying as a harmful effect, you can also discuss the way that social media is being used by terrorists to recruit people to their cause. You can discuss how social media is now a major source of news and information for its users, but then the problem is that because social media relies on the so-called "citizen journalism" to offer information, not all of the information that is gained from them can be accurate. However, for the positive comparison, you can say that social media has helped to save millions of lives from cyber-bullying because of the emergence of anti-bullying support groups on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. You will need to do some research but you will see that these organizations, while they require that you give up some of your privacy in order to join then, ends up helping you in the long run because you belong to a safe social network meant to support you when you are feeling down because of bullying. You can also claim that the news on social media helps inform the reader and encourages them to verify the information before sharing it. The important part of this is that the reader gets interested to learn new things and respond to his changing environment because of the "citizen journalist". Now, based upon the information that you will decide to place in the similarities portion, you may need to adjust your conclusion or find out what your group mates have written for the essay so that you can better develop your conclusion to support the group voice in the final paper, These are some of my ideas as to how you can expand your similarities portion. I hope it helps.

Hey guys, I'm working on an essay paper about art theft and the relationship society impacts the crime rate. Earlier I had posted a thread about the introduction and thesis of the same paper. Without you guys' help, I would not have opened up my mind when writing this paper. Thank you guys so much, shout out to @holt, for giving me such valuable example and advice in my writing! For this essay, I'm not sure how to conclude this paper in a matter to cover back my thesis. Any help and advice are kindly appreciated!! Thank you! **The Significance of Media and Public** In 2008, 4 important painting by Van Gogh, Monet, Degas, and Cezanne were stolen from a museum in Zurich, Switzerland. The total cost of these paintings was 163.2 million dollars. Indeed, this theft is something that should have shaken the world owing to the amount of the paintings stolen in total. However, people rarely heard of the theft or, to this very day, remain oblivious to the theft of those paintings. While the paintings were eventually recovered, the perpetrators got very light sentences for their crime. Considering the historical value of the paintings and the monetary value involved, one would have expected that they would have given a stiffer punishment. For some reason, art theft is not considering a major crime similar to bank robbery. While banks employ the latest in anti-robbery devices, museums are seemingly stuck in the dark ages, unable to protect their national works of art. There is a negligence on the part of the museums when it comes to preventing art thievery and their interaction with potential art thieves. This paper will look into the society's negligence in its interactions with art thieves, and the details of advantage art theft hold as with society. **Case Evident: Stephen Hahn Art Gallery, Montreal Museum Fine Arts** On the cold night of November 17th, 1969, sevens paintings was stolen from the Stephen Hahn Art Gallery. Including four world famous pieces of art, estimated value at 500,000 American dollars. Despite the value was at 500,000 dollars, the news reporters find this event would not be interested in the public. In related to the case in 1972, the day Montreal Museum of Fine Arts when eighteen paints that are worth two million worth of money was stolen. From the print of "New York Times Achieved" mocked: "Flashback to the manner of 1969's Stephen Hahn Art Gallery, incredible moments of negligence." Considering that "New York Times Achieved" referred back to the 1969's Stephen Hahn Art Gallery case, where interest from the media was part of the flaw of 1972's Montreal Museum robbery. What's significant about this incident is that the media did not make a significant enough about this incident of robbery on the day of the news, thus the public and media had no impact to decrease the rate of art thieves. However, on a slightly positive side, later on, one of the painting was then recovered, "Serbian police are now guarding a recovered Cézanne painting, which was stolen at gunpoint four years ago in one of the history's largest art heists." Anoosh Chakelian stated. From these two cases, we can see the relationship, where one historical case's impact can lead towards Montreal Museum Fine Arts case. While the impact is not easy to comprehend at first glance, the evident in the relation can't be omitted. **Crime Opportunity Theory** The crime opportunity theory is defined as where one commits a crime due to certain favorable circumstances. Such factors include the ability to acquire a high rewarding payout without much effort or risk. In Felson's research writing, he stated, "Opportunities play a role in causing all crime", where "opportunity" is generalized the relation in crime and society. Offenders who choose to commit such crimes often go undetected due to premeditated planning. Due to many of these crimes going undetected, many criminals often get away with their acts as there is often never enough evidence for the police to get a lead. Till this day, art thief still continues to happen because of the lack of attention it receives from the public. In relation to crime and society, art thief is often rarer and does not leave a long lasting impact in comparison to crimes such as murder, robbery and much more. Drawback to the case of the art theft cases, the connection between crime opportunity theory and art thievery is potentially related. "Some products offer more tempting crime opportunities." Felson continues stated, provided with an example "These opportunities reflect particularly the value, inertia, visibility of, and access to potential crime targets. For example, VCRs are high in value and low in inertia (they can easily be carried), and are often left in visible and accessible locations". Art theft, in this case, is being called upon the issue in the theory that has been addressed. The reason why art is present as often a target to robbers is because the direct value to artwork is different depending on each and every individuals. For example, a bank contains a million worth of cash versus a piece of art that is worth a million dollar according to the market value. While the security of the bank is often very strict, on the other hand, the strictness of the art gallery or museum wouldn't have the same significance. This is because a million dollar worth of art does not have the same direct value to a million dollar worth of cash. But how is this related to the art thievery and crime rate? The crime opportunity theory explains that artwork is often been treated as an easier target. While the society doesn't have the same value in terms of artworks, the crime rate of art theft has also increased at its exponential. This paper had covered up the attitude of negligence from the media and the public, provided with two cases and explain within a theory. However, the increasing rate of art theft recently has the relationship with the apathy from the media and the public. I feel like art is unique and important in its own, but its value is intangible. I believed if the media and public have to pay more attention to the issue of art theft, naturally, the crime rate of art theft will decrease as well.

Ethan, the reason that you have a difficult time developing your closing argument is because your earlier work lacks information. The case comparison should have been the point at which you presented evidence of security negligence or inefficiencies at the museums. Perhaps you should have discussed the existing security measures during the first heist and then developed that to reflect the weakness of the more "modern" security systems in place for the new robbery that took place. These discussions I believe, belong in the Case Evident section. In the Crime Opportunity portion, you tried to compare the security system of a bank with that of a museum. However, you did not present any actual security system examples. The lack of the security system comparison affected your ability to be able to circle back in your discussion, to the very beginning, middle, then end portion, which would have helped you develop your concluding paragraph. The final conclusion being that due to the lack of interest on the part of the people when it comes to art thievery, security measures will never be enough to protect these priceless paintings and copycat robberies will continue to exist. Mention that it is the lack of security that has caused quite a number of notable paintings to have been stolen and it seems, will never be seen again unless one deals with the art black market or underground / illegal art purchases. I hope my ideas can help you develop a solid conclusion for your research paper. By the way, this was really interesting to read. I thoroughly enjoyed your work.

Beagle 2, British aero plane, was assumed failed to reach the surface of Mars because no reply signal was received back. Moreover, the team has a tendency to assume that the parachute and airbags which is to slow down the acceleration of Beagle had been broken, in other word Beagle 2 crashed. After more than a decade, surprisingly it was found on the Martian surface. Furthermore, to find clear explanation about what happened with Beagle 2, some experts conduct research used 3D software and tool to match both simulated and truly images of Beagle 2. The purpose is to find real explanation as would be possible without landing on the planet itself. As we know, Mars is one of delicate planet because of the atmosphere. In other hand, Nick Higget, a researcher from De Montfort University, conclude that the Beagle 2 did not destroyed, but landed and probably deployed most of its panels. source : newscientist.com/article/2112484-beagle-mars-probe-probably-didnt-crash-new-analysis-shows/

Dioba, your writing is inconsistent and fractured. The information your essay is not complete and your sentence formation is quite choppy. You should concentrate on improving your note taking skills before you focus on your sentence structure problems. It would be best for you to learn to recognize the important information being conveyed in the original article, which you can then take jot down as part of the important notes to be included in the summary. By doing this, you should be able to develop smoother sentences which will not lack on coherence and should also help you properly accomplish the summarizing task. When you write these summaries, you should always cite the original publication, its date, and the author if any is provided. That way your summary gains an air of authenticity and also helps you avoid any charges of plagiarism in a professional context. Don't forget that the information about the writer and publication are also important information related to the text you are summarizing.

**To find work you love, don't follow your passion** When talking about career, interest or passion will be main consideration to think as this would determine our happiness when undertaking our job. However, it is not easy to be taken as many choices come and make the individual confused. With regard to this phenomenon, how could we choose a fulfilling career? There is an organization that is dedicated to analyze this question called '80000 hours'. This organization did research about how to make a real career decision and finally concluded that all this time, people focus on the wrong thing. Basically, everyone does a career based on parent's career, money to get, and passion. But passion is imbalance with career that everyone gets. The solution is doing what's valuable that consist of achievement and meaning. Achievement means getting good something. Meaning or purpose means trying to do something great. The methods are exploring, building skill, and solving pressing problems.

Nurul, your essay offers incomplete information. You should have included a few sentences about the method of the study, how it was conducted, and what the survey questions asked were that helped the researchers arrive at this conclusion. The organization presentation should have included a background on the company in order to show the reader that the results of the study are coming from a reliable source. By the way, you should have included the name of the speaker, date of the talk, and the location (if provided). These are necessary information that can help the reader decide upon the validity of the information you are summarizing. More importantly, you should have included a link to the original talk for us to use as a reference point for the information you presented in the essay. Without it, we are unable to double check the information and just have to trust that you actually summarized the video in the right manner.

Hey guys, I'm writing an introduction paragraph about my research paper about art theft in societies. Looking forward improve on any aspects of my paper. Any comments or advices are greatly appreciated!! Thank you! In today's society, the number of thieves are increasing in popularity among criminals. As one of the largest crime, it widely includes shoplifting, petty theft, robbery, identify theft, art theft, etc. In the interest of broad category, some levels of theft resulting murder and violence, conversely that some are non-violent. However, there is one harmless crime that is belittled and overlook, that is art thief. The events of art theft up brings scarcely attention to the public, however, that this issue has been exhibited in many centuries. (Thesis) **In the light of the case of Montreal Museum of Fine Arts in early seventies and the case of John Tillmann in 2013, study had shown an insight of negligence of art thieves in societies.**

Hi Ethan ! Thank you so much for the compliments. I am so happy that I was able to help you better write your essay. Don't worry about using the work that I gave as an example. Go ahead and use as much of it, or as little of it as you want. Anything I can do to help you out. I hope that you can come back to have us review your essay. I have a feeling that it will be much better now that you fully understand what you have to do with the essay. More importantly, you now know how to improve your presentation and content. You will need to come up with the original thesis statement yourself though. That should not be too difficult if you will base the thesis statement on the example I provided. You just have to fill in the blanks after the ellipses I wrote. I'm here to help you in case you need help with the development of that aspect of the essay. Just sound the help alarm and I'll be here as soon as I can.

No one will realize why a North America woodpecker's feathers are changing its color from yellow to red. However, there were some ornithologists have noticed some bird's yellow feathers have strangely turned red. They thought the birds have bred with another member, such as the red northern birds which is lives in the West, but then they figured out that the red birds are thousands of miles away from these eastern North America woodpeckers. According to new research published in The Auk, the observation has given a result that 'you are what you eat' has proven unexpected true. The answer why it turns out to be red, because of its diet. The birds is eating red berries which can turn their feathers having a dark deep red color. The changing color into yellow, orange, or red hues is common in bird's feathers which actually come from the food they eat that produce some pigments.

Andika, this is an acceptable summary at this point. I believe that you could have created an almost perfect summary if you had omitted the first sentence in this summary statement. Sticking to the opening from the point where you speak of the Orinthologists would have immediately called the attention of the reader to the information offered within the original article. The first sentence, which was meant to act as the hook did not work very well because there was no proper set up for the statement sentence. Before that topic sentence was placed, you should have placed a simple narrative sentence that would have implied that people were wondering about why the bird's feathers were changing color in the first place. A general observation of sorts would have sufficed prior to the presentation of the information that people could not figure out why that was happening. By the way, next time, kindly post a link to the original article for our reference during the review of your essay. Thanks.

**All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. - TOEFL Essay** In my opinion it would be a great thing for all students to have the chance to study arts and music in secondary school. In school I've done both and I can tell that they have helped me achieve a lot. Even though many students would like to only study inartistic subjects at school, there are several reasons why I support the contrary. First, during these lessons students have the chance to express themselves. Some of the students may think they have no talents, but this way they can find out more about themselves and develop skills they never could think of. For example, the music classes made me fall in love with the guitar which I could have never imagined I could play in a near future. Second, music and art help you have another perception of the world. Both of them develop your patience and help you see the world more colorfully while eliminating boredom. I could take myself for instance again because I'm a painter and art has helped me become more optimistic and always think positively. I see art as a filter which helps me see the world more vividly. Third, these classes could be a good chance to create new relations. You can be part of a painting club or a band and enjoy the time that you spend with friends with the same interest but diverse viewpoints. For example, In middle school I was part of the painting club and now in high school I'm part of its band where I play electric guitar. Consequently, this has helped me make a lot of new friends and become more outgoing. To sum up, art and music are a world where everybody could fit in. They help you in many aspects of life so if you study them in secondary school they could really have an impact on you. Moreover, spending your time with useful things like them would be more effective than playing video games at home.

Erlisa, next time you post an essay for review, please make sure that you include the full prompt that you are responding to. We need the prompt instructions so that we can assess your essay for responsiveness and coherency. The prompt itself at the moment gives a personal opinion alone and I am not quite sure if only the personal opinion should be reflected in the paper. That small situation aside though, the essay takes its strength in being delivered based upon your personal experiences. Whenever possible, it helps the essay score when such points of view are used because it shows a clear understanding of the prompt. It increases the chances of your scoring higher in the Task Achievement portion when the essay stays on topic and provides all the prompt requirements. I believe that you would have scored well on this prompt as a practice test based upon what you have written, with deductions in place for certain shortcomings which, at the moment, I cannot ascertain due to the lack of the prompt so I cannot tell you the specific problems areas to concentrate on improving.

**Summarize article : Huge Lake Discovered 15 Kilometres Under a Volcano** There is an interesting fact about a huge reservoir of water that was found inside the Volcano in Andes, Bolivia. Besides it can be a new landscape on Earth, it can help scienticts to understand how such eruption are probable to be happened. It is also contain an important part of formation from continental crust as the water circulates in the interior. In one hand, there was an anomaly in 15 kilometres beneath the current dormant Uturuncu Volcano that had been founded by John and his friends from University of Bristol, UK. The anomaly is called as Altiplano-Puna which the magma body causes some effects, such as make the movement of seismic slow down also it can conduct electricity. Furthermore, Blundy's team try to make experiment by using varying amount of water that include pressure and temperature, such as in the real nature. Afterwards, they found a particular water that content electrical conductivity which related to the anomaly. By this experiment, they get a result as water is one of the volatile compounds that dissolve with magma in low pressure to cause volcanic eruptions.

Andika, the essay seems to be better developed than your other attempt today. I wish that you had added the url for the original article so that I could have double checked your information against the original source. The sentence development is inconsistent but does not detract from the information that you are trying to deliver. It contains enough information to educate the viewer regarding the long form of the article. You have managed to deliver a clear idea as to the important information from the original, as far as I can tell. I cannot find out if you have omitted any important information by mistake because I cannot read the original article. So far though, I would have to say that you did an acceptable job on this essay. It shows that your English comprehension abilities are good enough to help you understand the English articles you will be reading in the future.

Fawn Qiu starts her idea by problems faced in her daily experiences. Taking back 'Fluppy Bird' games by app store and going to an event but nothing to be worn inspire her to create a physical Fluppy Bird games in a box and design a unique costum as well. Considering about the people's responses to the 'real' game, Qiu then comes up with the idea to teach primary and secondary students about engineering through creative projects. By utilizing paper and fabric - everyday materials - to replace costing tools in school, she changes the perception of technology as affordable and easy to be found. Then, it results massive interest of students to make their own plays through those materials as they are eager to play their own games. Hence, through this creative project, in introduces new kind of technology and educating societies about engineering in other way. Later, three excellent points are brought out regarding this project; low floor, high ceiling and customization.

Mujaddidah, the most important thing that you have to know when it comes to writing summaries is that you need to get the spelling right when indicating important data within the essay. In this case, you misspelled the word "Flappy Bird" which is the game that is indicated in the original video. If you had bothered to refer to the transcript to double check your information, you would have realized that you spelled the word as "Fluppy" which is not the same word as "Flappy". When you make a mistake with any part of the information, even if it is something as simple as the name of a game, the overall veracity of the essay is affected. There now exists a flaw in your essay which will make the reader question the validity of your report. Aside from that, you neglected to mention the activity that pushed Fawn to become creative in her teaching classes. The fact that the students were bored or intimated by the original building kits is an important part of the report. That portion explains how the author came to conclusion that changes in the teaching method was badly required. Finally, you should have defined the meaning of low floor, high ceiling, and customization means to the author and the learner. Keep in mind that in a summary, explanations are vital to the understanding of the reader. In this case, you failed to give meaning to the words so the reader has no idea about the relevance of these terms in the summary.

**The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you receive from school. To what extend do you agree with this statement and why ?** Today children are upbringing and learning in a big society and Besides this, two straightforward way are family and school. A bunch of people say that family teaching is more notable, however other people argue that school is much more important. I share opinion on that family is more striking as I shall go on to show. Firstly, youngster learn from their parents before they go to school and learn there. As a result of that they are formed by family first and this makes fundamental of their manner. If parents do not care about this period of time commitment of crime may will be raising. Secondly, juvenile spend as fewer time as they do in home which means there are a lot of routine to learn more than in school and this is because family is more important and they might better have good plan to direct children to god way with appropriate attitudes. Furthermore, because of all different culture and variety of behavior that someone can face with at school, so education from school can be efficient and to point out other part of children construct in school. To conclude, I believe that family nurture is much more notable than school, yet it can lead to bad result if either parents or government have plan to teach all things children need.

Danial, I would say that your task achievement score would be 4 in this instance. Mostly because you did not clearly present the overview of the prompt, you did not cover the key features of the discussion, and finally, your opening statement came across as unclear. Your coherence and cohesion might score around a 5 because, while there is a sense of coherence and cohesion, there is a lack of overall progression in the essay. You failed to use transition sentences between paragraphs. The transition sentences create the cohesive part of the essay as it connects one paragraph to another in terms of discussion and common points. The Lexical Resource could score no more than a 3 when you consider that there is a clear lack of ability to form understandable sentences. Grammatical range and accuracy might share the same score because errors in grammar and punctuation do not reflect the proper sentiment of the writer. That is mostly because of your lack of English speaking and writing ability. Not to worry though, you should improve over time provided you have constant practice.

Hector Gracia as Psychologist wants to help people suffering PTSD. Nowadays, this can be eliminated since a research released that treatments actually get rid of symptoms. Furthermore, it turns out, the using of PTSD for military and preparing war. Warriors enable to use the devastating weapon, while good at applying the sophisticated training methods. However, they do not have any preparation to go home. The reason for this is their traumatic about the war. It is different than erasing memory because veterans always remember about that war, yet with a little training , those memories are no longer painful as they once were. The best treatment of ending human suffering caused by war is to never go to war. Eventually, scientists should give a reflected that there are a lot of beautiful places to back home and also change the mindset of a soldier to go home. source : ted.

Riandi, your summary is quite short. It does not carry the complete information that the video and transcript offer. You did not refer at all to the past treatments for PTSD and the current treatments being used. There should have been a discussion centering upon the need to retrain these soldiers suffering from PTSD for civilian life. The informative summary should have, at the very least, mentioned a quick list of the treatments that Hector Garcia suggested in the video. In order to have written an effective summary of the video, you should have included reference to the successful treatment done on Carlos and how it transpired. Your current summary tells me that you just forgot to refer to these things in specific terms. That is because you have written a nice overview of the simple, but irrelevant parts of the video presentation in your summary. All you have to do is make sure to lengthen the essay by adding the important points to it somewhere in the middle part of the summary essay.

While sitting outside on a sunny day, I saw bees flying around me. I quickly got up and started to walk away. I was a little angry they had ruined my peacefulness. I muttered to myself "I wish bees would die." A few months later in my biology class, we had to read an article about Honeybees and how they pollinate. I was very interested in how these insects contribute to our world. In the article, it also mentioned about the bees vanishing. I instantly desired to get this important information out to everyone I knew. When people think of Honeybees, they may imagine memories of family picnics being interfered by these creatures just like I used to. Bees are feared by many and have some negative connotations. I want to educate these people and others who many not know the importance of Honeybees in our world. Although they are small, Honeybees allow for human life to flourish. Honeybees play an important role in our world, so we need to acknowledge this and take action to conserve them. Honeybees affect our agricultural system both directly and indirectly. Their doings affect our daily lives. They directly help us through pollination of our food crops. Many of the foods we eat are thanks to Honeybees. In fact, "About one-third of the human diet is derived from insect-pollinated plants and honey bees are responsible for 80 percent of this pollination" ("Honey Bees and Pollination"). Honeybees able us to eat a variety of foods from nuts to fruits. Peaches, strawberries, onions, broccoli, and kidney beans, just to name a few are all pollinated by Honeybees. Honeybees are the unsung heroes of the agriculture industry. As a matter of fact, "More than $15 billion a year in U.S. crops are pollinated by bees, including apples, berries, cantaloupes, cucumbers, alfalfa, and almonds" ("Why We Need Bees: Nature's Tiny Workers Put Food on Our Tables" 1). A lot of these foods give us the essential nutrients to live on. Almost every food item we eat in a day comes with the help of Honeybees. Think about it, most Americans start their days with a nice cup of coffee, which Honeybees pollinate. Then, they go on to eat a bowl of cereal. The cereal most likely will contain honey, cottonseed oil, or sunflower oil. Then, they will put milk in the cereal. Along with dairy milk, some other milks they might use would be: almond milk, coconut milk, and cashew milk. All of these ingredients are from plants pollinated from the Honeybees. For lunch we may have a salad and for dinner we may eat potato soup. According to the article Why Are Honey Bees Important to Crops and Farmers? "One out of every three bites of food we eat is a result of pollinators like honey bees". We don't realize it when we are eating these foods that we might not have them without the help of Honeybees. Honeybees also affect us indirectly through many other ways. The average American diet is full of animal products. These products are thanks to the livestock. However, what we feed our livestock consists of mostly grass, buckwheat, and alfalfa. In order to get these foods to cattle, Honeybees have to pollinate these crops. So, essentially, when someone eats a steak or a piece of chicken, they are also eating it as a result of the Honeybees. "Honey bees can also pollinate clover and alfalfa, which are fed to cattle, so there are implications for the meat and dairy industry too" ("Why Bees are important"). Other animals that we depend on, also depend on Honeybees. Honeybees also affect us indirectly through manufacturing. Some of the products we use daily contain ingredients that the bees help produce. According to the article Why Bees are important "Honey bees play a significant role in the pollination of other important crops such as cotton and flax". Every clothing item has a tag that states what material it is made of. The most common material is cotton, a crop that a Honeybee will pollinate. Not to mention, Honeybees provide us with ingredients that we use in our medicines, beauty products, and other household essentials. Currently the Honeybee population is declining at a steady rate. This phenomenon is called Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD). Colony collapse disorder is causing many bee hives to fail. The most common cause of this is chemical exposure to the Honeybees. When farmers plant crops, they will also often wash their fields will insecticides or pesticides. The farmers don't realize that while doing this, they are causing Honeybees to become exposed to these foreign chemicals their bodies aren't used to. The Honeybees will not directly be affected, but it will have an internal effect on them. The bees will go to pollinate these crops and unknowingly will acquire these chemicals inside their bodies. In Fact, "...three neonicotinoid class insecticides -- clothianidin, imidacloprid, and thiamethoxam -- were the main culprits in weakening the bees' immune system" ("Colony Collapse Disorder Impact on the Economy"). The bees become weak and will fly away from their hive to die alone. These worker bees will not provide for their colony and the whole hive will eventually fall, contributing to the colony collapse disorder phenomenon. Another way colony collapse disorder can work is through parasites. The same farmers put the chemicals in the crops. Then, the Honeybees immune system will weaken and parasites will kill the bees. The most common parasite known to be factor of colony collapse disorder is the Varroa mites. Honeybees are already prone to be attacked by these mites. So, when their immune system weakens, it puts them at a susceptible position to be affected by these parasites. These mites are external parasites who will suck the blood out of the honeybees until the bees eventually die. According to the article Honey Bee Disorders: Honey Bee Parasites, "Most infested colonies die within 1 to 2 years if the beekeeper does not take actions against Varroa mites". These microscopic mites contribute significantly to colony collapse disorder in Honeybees. Some of the least contributing factors to colony collapse disorder are due to environmental stressors. The world is not how it used to be a couple of decades ago. Now, there are few places where Honeybees can go undisturbed. The most obvious use for Honeybees is to get honey. Well, during transport from one place to another, some of these Honeybees die. They become stressed and angry from all of the movement that they can't control. They are contained in a small space with nowhere to fly because nets cover them. During the winter, these conditions worsen. The bees become too anxious and weak causing many to die. Also during transport, they again can become exposed to mites, parasites, and chemicals that they've never encountered before. Another environmental stressor is the lack of nutrition these bees are getting. Honeybee keepers like to feed the bees artificial foods which can alter their immune system. In cities, the bees will drink from polluted water and get sick from this. When the worker bees get sick, they can't provide for the whole colony, so the colony will collapse. In spite of the current state of the honeybees, we can find ways to conserve them. Many people have already began to advocate for Honeybees since the early 2000's. However, it is not too late to start doing your part to save the bees. Anyone and Everyone can contribute to this cause, even if you do a little part. We as the people, need to take action locally, nationally, and globally. We can help conserve Honeybees in our local cities and states by spreading the word. One easy way to get the word out is to start the conversation. Many people don't know about the importance of bees. So, educate them. If you are having a conversation about politics or local issues, bring up Honeybees. People may think that you are weird, but explain it to them. After all, if they don't know, they won't do anything about it. Another way to sneak it into a conversation is to bring it up while you are doing your everyday routine. For example, if you are grocery shopping with your family, you could say "Wow! I can't believe Honeybees provide us with many of the foods here". Most people may be thrown off and ask you to tell them more because they are curious. Another way to get people involved is to create a club at your school. Many schools already have an earth club or an environmental club, so you could join this and bring it up as an issue. One way to get the word out in your community is to post it on your social media. Today, social media is a big outlet for advertising and speaking your opinions. You could reach audiences by posting articles, pictures, and writing blog posts. A smaller, yet effective way to get the word out about Honeybees is to hand out stickers, brochures, pins, or pens. You could put catch phrases or jokes on it to help get other people to talk about the cause. We can help conserve bees on a national level in several ways. One big way is to research more about the Honeybees. We can petition for universities to conduct deeper research about Honeybees and colony collapse disorder. We many not personally have the resources to research more and find more information, but these colleges can help. Also, because most people aren't experts in the field, we can get professionals to advocate for the Honeybees. Becoming part of a news team of doing journalism can also help. Joining online news sites and freelance journalism can also help spread the word. Another way is to bring it up to the authorities. You can email local organizations and get them involved in funding research to help the Honeybees. We can help conserve Honeybees on a global level in various ways. Asking our government officials what their stand points are on colony collapse disorder will help start the conversation. People respect authorities, so when you have a conversation with them, they will find it more important. We can also help educate the people about Honeybees by using reputable conservation organizations to tell people about the issue. All things considered, Honeybees are very important. They contribute to our daily lives. Honeybees help the world flourish by providing us with pollinated crops. Colony collapse disorder is a phenomenon that is causing many of these bees to vanish. They are starting to slowly decline in population. We need these Honeybees to provide for us through pollination. Honeybees can be conserved locally, nationally, and globally. We can create a chain reaction which can help save the lives of these unsung heroes of nature. Honeybees play a significant role in our world, so we need to acknowledge this and take action to conserve them. Without Honeybees our world wouldn't function the way it does now. However, some Honeybees are dying, and we need to save them. We need protect them because without them, our lives will change.

Shantel, I guess the question that I was left with when I read your introduction was, "Why did she want all the bees dead?" You need to explain about it as more than just because they disturbed the peace around you. Surely there was more to this than that because simply creating noise while you want quiet doesn't deserve a wish to eradicate the whole species of an insect. Now, if you told me that you said that because you are allergic to bee stings, then the statement about having them all dead would make more sense. Next question, what is the writing format for your essay? Is it supposed to be APA, MLA, Chicago, Turabian or what? The reason I ask is because the in-text citations seem to need some format revision. There is something wrong about the way that you are posting your in-text citation. Just can't pinpoint what it is because I am not sure about the formatting you are being instructed to use. Once you tell me which of the aforementioned formats you are using, I can better advise you regarding the format for in-text citations. By the way, I need you to add spaces between your paragraph to signify the start of a new topic discussion within your essay. The essay is a bit difficult to read at the moment due to the page compression. However, I am confident that the essay will get better once my suggested revisions are implemented.

Emulsifiers is one of light foods such as ice cream, chocolate bar, bread, soda and margarine, ingredients that is used to gain the best texture of the food. Nonetheless, fact says that cancers are triggered through the mentioned substance. Emilie Viennois, has carried out a study toward Emulsifiers and find out that this stuff could make the consumers suffering chronic cancer-death disease since Emulsifiers can bear inflammation and colorectal cancer. Another conducted study stated that involved mice consumed Emulsifiers results the rodents having tumor. Viennois suggests everyone to minimize the consumption of snacks and have a healthy diet in order to reduce the amount of dangerous chemical be eaten. Even though there is a regulation not to utilized Emulsifiers one to two percent in each product, no one can count how much Emulsifiers come to our body. Source : cosmopolitan

When writing in a formal tone, do not use words such as "stuff" in the summary. That indicates a lack of vocabulary skill and removes the seriousness by which the original article was written. Also, the original article makes mention of previous studies and publications that deal with this topic, you should have properly cited those original sources in the summary as well. Since the result of article quoting Veinnois was built up over a series of preceding articles, then all the related research should have been included in the overview as well. Most of the issues with your essay has to do with proper sentence structure. The presentation tends to be confusing because of the way you developed the sentence for presentation. However, the lack of proper grammar and presentation did not give the reader a hard time because the meaning of the statement was left clear within your written work. The fact that you followed a logical development and presentation for the important information helps to increase the final score of this practice essay to an overall score of 5. At least, that is my opinion of how I would score your work as an examiner.

Another upcoming movie sequels authored by J.K. Rowling, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, casts an out of the blue clue. After several rumors mentioned that he will not be appeared in its first sequel, Albus Dumbledore turned out to be emerging as a young gay wizard who has relationship with dark wizard Gellert Grindelwald. Will be filmed by David Heyman, the producer of the eight Harry Potter films before, this movie will portray how the wizards from American and England capture magical creatures escaped from a magic bag and involving the formative period Albus' life. However, not only the appearance of Albus Dumbledore as quite troubled young gay wizard, but also the image of the early years of Hogwarts what makes the fans cannot wait for the movie that will be released by the end of this year. Source: time.com/4566727/j-k-rowling-dumbledore-gay-fantastic-beasts/

Alrisky, I can tell from your writing that you are a fan of the Harry Potter book series and universe. It is reflected in the way you summarized the story from time.com using information that is not in the original article. Therefore, the information you posed in your summary, aside from Dumbledore being gay in the new movie series is incorrect. To be perfectly honest, you did a good job in the first part of the statement because it adhered to the information presented in the article. The improper information came in the second paragraph as you mentioned the early image of Hogwarts would be featured in the film although it was not referred to in the article. Hogwarts was mentioned only in reference to describing the future role of Dumbledore in the book franchise. You should always strive to maintain verifiable information in your statement by double checking the information you are presenting against the original.

Suzanne Barakat in this TED video shared about her experienced life. For the beginning of her speech, she was introduced her brother to the audiences, who passed away a couple years ago because murdered by her neighbor. I think it was a very interesting speech because she tried to encourage the audiences for standing up with her against hate on Muslim. She told that in her environment, North Carolina, most of her neighbors extremely hate with Muslim people. Furthermore, she said that in three years ago, her house got couple of bullets and it made her family scared about this situation. After that, she and her family moved to San Francisco but the condition was unchanged. She always got bullying from her neighbor and for the unacceptable moment, her brother was murdered by her neighbor. It made her scared and angered with the situation, but she tried to control her emotional and thought about the best solution to face this problem. Thus, she tried to encourage people to introduce for next generation about the views of Islam in order to prevent the same crime that experienced her life.

Muhamad, when you are writing an article summary, you are not allowed to portray any sort of personal statement that could show a conflict of interest or certain bias in the way that you summarize the information. In this instance, you did exactly that. By showing a personal connection to the summary, you have tainted the discussion and summary that you have presented to the reader. When you write an academic paper, you are supposed to be able to compartmentalize your sentiments and personal opinions so that it does not interfere with the true essence of the summary / message. Now, the essay itself is understandable. However, there are still sentence development and grammar issues that exist. The problem with your sentences occur because of your uncertainty regarding the proper tense (past, present, future) usage. This causes a confusion for the reader and requires them to create their own conclusion as to the occurrence of the events you are narrating.

The choice for some people to be happy from early until end of their age. For example, studied from the teenagers all the way they do activities until old age to see what people can stay happy and healthy. The longest current study of Harvard Development stated that 75 years of people that feel happy as many factors influenced them. In addition, the scientist track the life of 724 men. They asking some question such as their home, home lives and health. Many problems face during this test as it was not easier than others study. However, there are still life people that join the test and now, he was age 90 years old. Moreover, since 1938, they try another ways such as divided people in a group. First group of men who studied at university and second group of boys from boston experienced some probem with thier lifes. All the teenager get interview and medical exam and also their parents got interview too. The result from this study or the factors made the people enjoy their life was God, relationship, keep them happy and healthy from day to day. There were related to relationship situations that supported this way such as social connection, quality with close relationship and have a good partner. This message showed increased healthy until old aged can be done and still aware about little mistake to broke the relationship.

Andika, when you write a summary essay that has to trace its information to the earliest known information regarding a study or survey, that part of the summary should come first. Start with the oldest information, working your way to the summary of the newest information so that there will be a clear chronology of information for the reader to process. At the moment, your summary gets confusing because, aside from the sentence development problems and vocabulary issues, the summary seems to just haphazardly offer information without a clear logical pattern. Your first sentence in this essay, which was supposed to lay the understanding for the discussion with the essay portrays an incomplete thought pattern and as such, creates a hanging sentence that does not make any sense. Remember to review your summaries in order to ensure that every sentence makes sense to the reader. Otherwise, the reader will be unduly stressed and may not be able to understand the overall summary because of the problem with the topic sentence.

It's my practice about "medical health care system", will you be kind enough to prune? \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* Task 2: **The costs of medical health care are increasing all the time. Governments are finding it difficult to balance the health care budget. Should citizens be totally responsible for their own health costs and take out private health insurance, or is it better to have a comprehensive health care system which provides free health services for all?** *Discuss your viewpoint on this issue. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.* My essay is as follows: How to build the health care system is a matter of massive controversy. Some people insist citizens should pay for their own health costs respectively like private health insurance. The others prefer the free comprehensive health care system for public. As far as I am concerned, I would say the latter is better. Establishing free comprehensive health care system is the significant duty of governments. Citizen is the treasure of a country. Governments should take care of their people, undoubtedly the health care comes first. It is well known; most governments tax huge money every year. The money is from people, and should be used for people with on doubt. How serious will it be if a person always lives in a low quality of health condition, much less how terrible a country will be if most of the population in unhealthy condition generally. People are too weak to do their job, and have to see the doctor frequently. If so, not only they can't achieve their happiness, but also the county can't develop well. All the people will benefit much more from the free comprehensive health care system, rather than personal efforts. Governments are able to give more resources in addition to basic health care and treatment. Such as build all kinds of public gyms or stadiums nearby communities, provide free facilities for outdoor sports just within communities. Besides the above measures which are mainly for adults, the educational management department could increase sports courses at a school timetable, even get rid of the junk food from children's menus. By this kind of method, regardless of adults or children, their health care problems are all covered. More than that, no matter you're poor or wealthy, your health care problems are all covered as well. For example, even if you are very rich, you're probably not likely to build your own football pitch or basketball court, but the comprehensive health care system will help it. Having said that, the vast system has a few of disadvantages. The increasing cost will make it more difficult for governments to balance the budget. Consequently, the tax burden will become heavier for citizens. In addition, costly price of treatments may drive people do more exercise, whereas free health care might turn people more lazy. They would rather be couch potatoes than exercise regularly, in spite of the high risk of obesity, diabetes, heart disease and so on. These men waste public health care resources indeed. However, in any case citizens should have access to free health care. It's their basic human rights in my view. In conclusion, regarding less the inner shortage of the free comprehensive health care system, we should choose it and insist it, just as we cannot throw baby out with bath water.

Jeson, is this your first time writing an essay for task 2? If it is, then don't feel so bad because I am giving this current essay a rating of 4 in the overall band score. There are tremendous problems with your grammar, vocabulary, and sentence structure to name but a few of the areas that I suggest you concentrate on improving. There are many parts of the essay where your message is lost because of the part came across as unclear to the reader. That happens when you fail to develop the sentence structures accurately. The problems with the grammar, vocabulary, and punctuation lead the reader to a difficult, if not faulty understanding of your essay. The grammar problems were so bad in the essay that I really found myself constantly having to read, re-read, then re-read your paragraph. When a reviewer needs to read your paragraphs or your full paper a number of times before he can make sense of what you have written, you can bet that your score will not be a passing one in the end. Kindly take note of my comments and try to improve upon them with your next practice test.

**The graph above shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant** The line chart gives information about the amount of merchandise in million tones that has been carried in UK by four modes of transport since 1974 to 2002. Overall, it can be seen that, there was upward trend by 4 modes transportation, whereas Road was the highest transport to goods transported in the same period while, Pipeline was the smallest transportation that used to carry of goods. In 1974, at least 40 million tones of goods transported by Rail and water, Pipeline just under 20 million tones, and the highest was road at 70 million tones. Pipelines and water grow up in 1982, while the Road and The Rail were fall down. However, there was drop and increase of merchandise, between 1982 and 1994 fluctuated in the quality of goods transported by 4 modes transportation. Whereas, pipeline as much as 21 million tones, pail decreased at least 22 million tones, water under 60 million tones and Road fluctuated at 78 million tones. During 1994-2002 there was upward trend by four transportation and based on the figure, the amount of road which was used was the bigger than others as much as 90 million tones. Others under of 50 million tones and the smallest was Pipeline in the number of goods transported. *

Reski, you have a better report writing than essay writing skill. That may serve you well when you take the actual test because you will have a tendency to score higher in one of the written exams over the other. Which will probably raise the bracket of your final test score. Just remember to improve upon your summary writing skills. The modes of transport should have been indicated as part of the overview. Without it, the information delivered was incomplete and therefore, did not offer a solid summary of the information presented for follow up discussion. Aside from that problem though, I found that the full report could be deemed acceptable and just might score at passing or slightly higher. I hope that you can find a way to further improve your reporting skills. Just make sure to always double check in terms of the summary information. It has to be complete in reference to the overview of information presented. The slightest missing data could affect the final outcome of your score for this test.

The bar chart reveals information about the number of foreign learners alumni from college in several towns in Canada over five-year period. Overall, except Alberta, others countries was by far the most significant changed. Also, New Brunswick levels was by far the highest proportions of others. New Brunswick levels far dominated of graduating people both of the years at 7% (2001) and approximately 12% (2006). This was followed by British Columbia, almost 5 % in the first of year and around 11% in the last of year. In addition, the large gap was seen in the level of British Columbia by 6% when it came to 2006. Unsurprisingly, both Manitoba and Newfoundland&Labrador still stayed the same of proportion by 3% in the former year and 7% in the latter one. Turning to the another diverge proportion, Alberta proportions experienced a decline of number by 4% when it moved to the end of year. Other level of countries performs only a big-scale for alumni college proportion. *

Andika, I would say that this could get a band score of 5 if provided in an actual test setting. The reasons that I believe that would be your score has its basis in the scoring criteria itself. While you attempted to cover all of the important information in the essay, you failed to give a listing of the countries covered by the graph illustration. The overview suffers from incomplete information as well. Points will be deducted for those in an actual test. You also have a problem regarding the cohesion and coherence of your sentences. The problem is that the sentences you develop tend to be unclear due to your limited vocabulary. These problems combine to make a difficult to understand essay on your part. Finally, you have tremendously frequent grammatical errors that will cost you a big chunk of your final score in an actual test. I suggest that you consider the parts I am concerned about and try to develop those aspects in preparation for your next practice test.

**University should accept equal numbers of males and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?** For a person to be intellectually capable, university education satiates his/her desire. The university should not discriminate people based on gender, religion, culture and so on. The question here arises that should there be equal number of man and woman students in every subjects the university have. In my opinion, such type of obligation is irrelevant in any of the university because of the following reasons. Firstly, the university mightn't' have any kind of records that how many students, male and female, are going to study in any particular field. Even if they know the number of students either through the application form or by any means, it is ridiculous to admit equal number of students in any field because sometimes there might be more girl's application and some other times there might be more boy's application. Ultimately, it hampers the overall system of the university and rights of the student to choose the field of course they want to study. Secondly, there are some field where there are only girls such as in nursing, air hostess and so on. In such kind of field, there will be no man and what if the university wants equal number of man and woman in such field. Won't the program go fail. Of course, the university can not run its program. In sum, though it is nice to think about the gender equality in every subject the university have, such thing can never happen in any university because the process of choosing the field is dynamic in nature. The applicants in any field changes over time. Hence the university can not make same number of male and female students in every subject it provides.

Utsav, your opinion and defense within the essay is sound. It is logical and acceptable. However, your opening statement is not really aligned with the original prompt requirement. There as nothing in the prompt that indicated the reason for equal enrollee acceptance in college had anything to do with gender, religion, culture, etc. Therefore, you should not have indicated that in your overview summary. The introduction should only present a restatement of the prompt facts. You should not be making up any information to add to the summary. That addition of non-existent information could have an impact on the scoring for your essay in an actual test. Remember to just always stick to the facts as indicated in the essay. You may present additional information, not in the prompt, only within the presentation of your personal opinion.

**Some people think that a person can never understand the culture of a country unless they speak the language. Do you agree with this opinion?** ## cross-cultural understanding A number of societies opine that people are not able to acquire and adapt a specific culture without learning its language. I personally would argue that this is a positive development. To begin, the best measure to study other national culture is imitating the way of the native speaks. Individuals tend to practice more by repeating what the other speakers produce from their mouth. A good example of this is the process how kids acquiring language. Children are never be taught a language such as their mother tongue or first language, but they are able to speak their mother tongue/L1 well during they grow up. It is because they always listen and the language to surroundings. As the result, youngsters get used to speak that language. There is no doubt that it is referred that learning about culture is speaking about its language. Another reason is by understanding the language; inhabitants can learn one's culture independently. Although there is no a guide to accompany us visiting one county side aimed at knowing its tradition, we are able to communicate and experience this culture by ourselves because we have master the language. A case in point, nowadays most of tourists from abroad in Indonesia do not need a translator to research a local relic because they have learnt Indonesian language before coming at there. Thus, language is one important factor in order to recognize a specific culture. To conclude, it is clear to me that cross-cultural understandings become easy to learn if the followers start initially to speak the local language.

I believe that your score for this essay would be a 4 in an actual test. You have many sentence structure problems that affect the thought process and understanding of the reader as he scans your essay. There is a lack of clarity in the way that you present your reasons which causes faulty reasoning and incomprehensible reasoning. You show a very limited ability to form even the simplest English sentences so your vocabulary and grammar are directly affected. I would advise you to try and work on the grammar portion of this essay a bit more. While the presentation is faulty, it is obvious that you understood the prompt but was hindered by the lack of grammar ability. Don't worry, you should get better with practice. It will not hurt for you to try to write this essay again. This time, pay attention to your grammar. As long as you can somehow relay an understandable thought process, your score should improve to at least a passing score.

***Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?*** Happiness is one of the essential factors in life. Some people want to just happy in their entire life. However, there is an opinion that it is quite difficult to define the happiness. There are some reasons why the happiness is hard to be explained. Some factors will influence the way to grab the living satisfaction. It is so difficult to be explained because there is no standard level of happiness. Some people might think that leisure, for instance, is the key to happiness while others say that wealthy level is more important. This is because every people are different in the way that they define the satisfaction. Also, feeling is one of the keys that will lead someone to the happiness. If you do not have the great feeling on the thing that you say that it would make you happy, you will not get the happiness. For example, you love watching TV and you believe that this will give you an enjoyment. But if you have a un-mood feeling, you will not find the happiness on watching TV. Even though it is difficult to give a definition of happiness, some factors are important in order to achieve happiness. The most important are your environment. You will get an enjoyment if you stay at the place where you have a positive surrounding. People you want to share your happiness is important as well. Psychologically, it will make you happier than before. All in all, for the points that I mentioned before, it is clear that happiness is hard to be explained. However, other factors can also accelerate the way to get the happiness such as our surrounding and the object that we can share our happiness with others. (289 Words) *Any corrections and suggestions will be appreciated.*

Ivan, as an examiner, I would give this a passing score of 5. Based on some specific factors. There are some inconsistencies in the way that you present your evidence which lead to either incomplete thought development or an inability to produce a coherent sentence. While your line of reasoning is sound, there is a problem with the words that you have chosen to use which tend to lessen the understanding of a sentence. For example, when you said "un-mood feeling" I am sure that what you meant to say was either "Not in the mood" or "unhappy". Either term would have better expressed the meaning of your sentence. Instead, the reader will find himself trying to figure out what you mean by the term you used because it doesn't exactly exist in the English language.

***Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be always taken into account when deciding on the punishment.*** In all parts of the world, the criminal matter is the problem making the controversy topic for people around the world. Some people think that the fixed punishments for all crimes are the must. However, I believe that the reason and motivation of crime that is done by people should be considered to decide on the punishment. Fixed punishment for certain crime is very helpful for the small level of criminal. It can be a brilliant idea for the nations which have the high-criminality rates. In Indonesia, for instance, all cases have to be decided in the court, from the light level to the high level, so that sometimes, the court is too hard to be decided. This idea can reduce the problem of the court and the court's overload can be reduced. However, including the reason and the fact of the cases is more important. Each people have the presumption of innocence. How about the person having murdered the criminal sneaking to the house and threatening the family's life? If we are thinking that fixed punishment is better, then we will punish the person murdered. But how about the principle of fairness? is it fair for them? No. The facts in the field and the circumstances should be included in order to give the equality of law for all of the people. All in all, I believe that before we decided the person is guilty or not, we should involve the facts and the motivation why the people did. Although fixed punishment is a good idea, it will be better to provide the equality of law to all of the people around the world. (275 Words)

Ivan, you are supposed to accurately discuss both sides of the issue prior to presenting your opinion on the matter. That doesn't seem to be what happened in your essay. It seems that you decided to immediately defend your opinion on the topic. I realize that you did not provide the complete prompt to us for reference but thanks to the others who wrote this prompt before you, I already know what to expect in terms of the discussion you are instructed to present. Due to the mistake in your presentation, the essay no longer follows the instructions and therefore, does not properly respond to the prompt requirements. So this essay will not score well in the actual test. Please remember to refer to the prompt as you develop your essay so that you can be sure that you are following and providing the complete requirements in your essay response.

Apple has offered its buyer new concept which called new sales program known as the Apple Certified Refurbished store to get a cheaper iPhone in the past ten years. The customer can buy refurbished iPhone 6s or iPhone 6s Plus via online market with price $449. If we compared to non-refurbished iPhone, the customers could save $100. Aside from selling iPhone 6s or 6s Plus, Apple has other products which were sale on its digital marketplace for refurbished devices such as Macs, iPods, and other items. However, there is still negative view from the public about refurbished product such as the fear of hardware malfunctions. source: time

Orestes, the minute that you presented the negative side of the discussion, you should have followed up or added the positive explanation to the summary. That way your summary covers all of the important information within the paper. While there were a number of valid positive reasons to get a refurbished Iphone included in the article, you could have taken the time to choose at least one that you believed to be the most valid reason to get a 2nd hand phone. All you would have had to do was signify that you thought this was the best reason to support the decision to own a previously owned phone. By the way, the proper term to use is "digital marketplace" and not "online market". When summarizing articles, make sure to use the term used in the original article in order to keep the original statement as intact as possible while summarizing.

***It has been said, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books" Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?*** An opinion explains that knowledge will be widely acquired not only from books, but also from other resources. Hence, there are several differences regarding knowledge gained from experience and from books. In my standpoint, I personally stand for an argument of which books generate development in large part of personal skills. Initially, books contain a large number of new areas in public interests which pervades all of criteria excluding people's specialisation. Society, therefore, would enhance their general knowledge and they are not limited into one specific skill to be seized on. Coinciding with a wide range of aptitudes, book readers' knowledge is encouraged in visual ability useful to forecast the possible circumstances in the long period of time since every reading activity creates imagination to picture the words to be real. As a result, attaining enlightenment from books is rather complete to face the brutish life. Compared to the acquired knowledge from books, experience teaches people in a long time that needs trial and error to achieve the proper knowledge. It consume ineffective period of time and it clearly requires a myriad of financial resources in the process of learning. Subsequently, people tend to be specialised in particular ability that narrow the other valuable self-improvements. This condition occurs due to the fact that experience is usually gained in the sequence of conditions and therefore knowledge from experience is lack of variations in other general abilities. To conclude, it is imperative for the vast majority of people to consider the merits of books and then they are able to utilise books as the most efficient means in order to possess a wealth of knowledge.

For your Task Achievement, I believe you would get a 4 because you failed to indicate / restate the quote that was part of the prompt you are being asked to respond to. Keep in mind that in your first sentence, you already indicated that there was an opinion you wanted to discuss / refer to. A complete overview paragraph would have included the quote itself since that is the basis of the essay. You also failed to present a completely developed personal opinion within the essay paragraphs. So, you did not really cover all key features as required. For the coherence and cohesion part, I think a 6 is in order because there is an understandable progression of your discussion and it shows that you analyzed the best way to discuss the topic provided. However, you need to work on the cohesion of your sentences within the paragraphs. It seems to try to discuss too many subtopics within a topic based paragraph. When it comes to the lexical source, I feel that a 4 is in order. This is through no fault of yours. It is just that your limited vocabulary is evident in the essay as there is a lack of higher vocabulary representation in the essay. Don't worry though. That is not something that can be achieved overnight. You should work on widening your vocabulary over the coming days. Just make sure you are well read in the English language and you should be well on your way to doing that. Now, for grammatical range and accuracy, it's a definite 5. Luckily, the errors did not stress me out as a reader too much and I could easily figure out what the sentence structure you were using was actually trying to say. I hope my detailed ratings help you concentrate on your problem points.

Presidents Obama in his public speech conveyed an endorsement for the winner of current president's election. However, his expression was assumed that he actually hoped to a win for Clinton. At early Wednesday morning, Obama invited Trump to be in White House to hand ober the presidency tenure. He also said to Trump that they are in one team now; there are no democrats, republic, and patriot anymore. At the same time, Obama also congratulated his state secretary for being a great president candidate. Another aspect that Obama acknowledged was the campaign process especially when Trump gave his speech in front of citizens which was heartened by unifying nature and county needs.

Sman, you misunderstood the reason for President Obama's invitation to Donald Trump to join him for breakfast at the White House. Yes, your information is lacking pertinent data so I decided to point that out to you. Now, to point out a mistake in your summary, he invited President - elect Trump to the White House, not to turn over the presidency, that doesn't happen until January 20, 2017, but rather, just to discuss publicly undisclosed information. Also, you need to capitalize the words "Democrat" and "Republican" because you are referring to the political parties in the American 2 party system. Those words are proper nouns and should be written following the rules for proper nouns.

one of the aims of human beings is good life like happiness, full of money, and having a good relationship. a good life is tremendously crucial to be found by all of the people in the world. Lopez as speaker in TED explains how to reach a good life. He gave three steps how to get a good life. Firstly, finding a mentor. a mentor is a shortcut to broaden our knowledge. Mostly all people who are popular in the world have a mentor like Alexander the great, Bill gates, and Jackie chan. People have to find a great mentor who has 10 times ability than they are. The teacher will guide and give a shortcut to achieve the purpose. Secondly, humble and grateful have to be implemented in ourselves. Commonly, all of the people forget related to humble and grateful after reaching the purpose. It will ruin the achievement. Thirdly, reading books help to extend knowledge without wasting much money. Reading books are shortcut to broaden our knowledge in business major and social life. Everyone wants to get a good life, yet they do not want to follow the rule. Loving your life, doing all the best what you do, and beautifying your life are a motto that is given by Lopez.

Rahasia, it is really important that you provide us with the link to the article, video, or audio file that you are summarizing. We can only help you with regards to your summary if we are able to read, view, or hear the original source . That way, we can learn about what your shortcomings in the summary are and point it out to you for your reference. Please remember to offer the original title of the article/video/audio file along with the full name of the speaker at the start of the summary. That information is necessary because it will help you avoid accusations of plagiarism and also, allow you to inform the reader that you will be serving up second hand information since it is a summary essay. It would seem though, that your summary is more informative than the other versions that have been uploaded for review on this forum. The quality of the information shared though, is questionable because of the lack of access to the original material.

On TED talks, Tai Lopez, an entrepreneur and investor, have found rules that will design your life by reading a book to find mentors. It has called mentor rules which have the law of 33%. He has spent 33% of his life for people lower than him, 33% for his colleague and peers, and the rest is for people that 10 times more successful than him. For instance, if we want to build $1 million company, we should find people that have $10 million company. He also suggested to stay humble and while look for mentors we should persevere not only see on their success at the end but also their perseverance. At last, read books over and over and let it become your friend.

Orestes, the next time you post your summary, please include a link to the original article or video so that we can watch it before we review our summary. Otherwise, it is really difficult to follow the flow of thought that the original speaker or writer presented. That means we cannot accurately gauge the information that you are presenting to us as well. From what I can tell though, you should have developed the explanation about what the Law of 33 % means to Tai Lopez. What was the formula for him to say that 33 % is the secret to a successful life? What kind of books does Tai suggest one read? How are these books supposed to be helpful to the person? It seems to me that you rushed the writing of this essay and you did not consider all of the information provided when you prepared your summary. Please take better care of your information presentation with your next essay. That spells a difference in judging your English analytical and comprehension skills.

It is generally known that plastic is a crucial problem in the ocean as it can be harmful for hundreds of marine species such as seabirds, fish, whales and others. This happens since those sea creatures smell plastic like food. In fact, the amount of trash made of plastic in the ocean is around a quarter of a billion metric tons which form in tiny or rice-sized particles in 2004. This attracts over 200 marine animals feed them. Turtles often eating plastic due to its similar appearance to jellyfish is a current phenomenon to illustrate this. How can it occur? As the primary diet for many seabirds, krill consumes algae as their food. Then, algae break down in the ocean and emit dimethyl sulfide (DMS) which has sulfur odor to lead seabirds finding their feeds in the ground. Unfortunately, they consider plastic as krill to be their food. Matthew Savoca, a doctoral student at the University of California, said that DMS looks a dinner bell. It will give a signal for seabirds to find krill with their foraging mode. Source: news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/11/animals-eat-ocean-plastic-because-of-smell-dms-algae-seabirds-fish/

Abul, first up, you need to remember that when you write a summary essay, you must always include the name of the original author, mode of first publication, and the publishing source. Those are the first steps towards delivering the all too important information that will tell the reader that you are publishing an authoritative paper and not just a run of the mill essay. Second, your summary information lacks a number of important information. For starters, you did not identify Krill as the main food source for the animals at the start of the essay. You should have explained the significance of Krill at the start of the essay because that is the basis of the full information in the article. Third, your list of animals that eat Krill should have indicated the complete listing as presented in the essay because the essay clearly indicates that these are the species that are in danger of dying because of consuming the toxins being produced by plastic in their feeding ground. Finally, the length of the original article tells me that you omitted a number of pertinent information. A summary essay cannot take shortcuts in presenting the important information, make sure that you cover all of the important data in your summary because that is how an authoritative summary is developed and presented.

**T*he table above gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.*** The percentage of types of things that were used and were spent by five regions in the world in 2002 is provided by the table. Overall, Turkey was the most country that spent three categories of items. Food, drink, and tobacco were the largest items, which were spent by five countries. At the beginning, Turkey plateaued at 32.14 percent in spending food items. Then, Ireland was the second larger country that consumed 28.91 percent at those things. It was followed by three other countries (Italy, Spain, and Sweden) consumed the things below 20%. Italy hit a highest number in using clothing or footwear at nine percent. Then, the percentage of Sweden was the lowest at 5.40. Next, Ireland, Spain and Turkey got the same number of wearing fashions at around six percent. The figure of Turkey in spending time for pleasure and education reached 4.35 percent. There were two countries got the same number at approximately 3.20 percent that were Italy and Sweden. This was followed by Ireland that stood at 2.2%. However, Spain spent the least time at 1.98% only. 181w * *table*

Nur, the prompt specifically asked you to summarize the important facts of the report. Therefore, the summary overview should have contained more information than what you have presented. You must always remember that a report can only be perceived as accurate when the opening statement accurately provides all avenues of discussion and the parties involved in the report development. That said, I am wondering as to why you neglected to give a rundown of the names of the countries whose consumer spending was going to be discussed in the essay? The rest of the essay would have benefited from your accurate summary because that opening statement carries a bit of weight in the final scoring system. The fact that you can properly summarize and present all pertinent data in the short form paragraph means that you are capable of understanding and presenting even more complicated discussions. Please aim to do that in the future.

**In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.** Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. Working or traveling after finishing high school is usually doing by young people in the several countries. It happens because some reasons. But if teenagers are encourage to doing that before starting university studies. It will have positive and negative effect for their selves. Deciding work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies have advantages, which are young people have more experience and new knowledge than other, and then they will more understand what will they take to majority On University. It is caused young people know about their passion. Other than that, people who are traveling on the other Cities or counties will comprehend about the situation every place. It has positive effect for their life in societies before starting university studies. For example: A young people when studied in high school do not aware their ability or still confused to decide department that will take in university. But after having experience for a year they are finally understand and know what are their skill which is want to be developed. On the other hand, although having advantages when work or travel before starting university studies, but this situation have negative effect. Whereas, when young people have worked and gotten income, they will enjoy and decide to still work and they do not to continue their study. If this happen, will cause some countries just have teenagers who have low education. Having low education can cause lack of economic growth in a country and this situation impact on young people's own. Based on that, it can be conclude that teenagers are decide to work or travel for a year after finishing high school must know their priority and what are they want after doing that. Because of this have advantages and disadvantages for their abilities and decision, before starting university studies.

Reski, I don't think that you can score higher than a 4 with this essay. It is just too stressful for the reader to try and comprehend what you are trying to say. The lack of grammar and proper vocabulary usage has made the overall essay highly difficult for a person reading it to make sense of. Your line of reasoning lacks proper development and does not always deliver a clear idea as to the message that you are trying to convey. I know that in your mind, you are thinking in your native tongue and then using a very basic mode of translation to write those thoughts in English. It doesn't work that way. You have to learn how to properly develop your thoughts in English by starting out with simple sentence development and grammar structures within your thoughts. That basic skill is what you can use to write a somewhat coherent paper. This, over time, will turn into a smoother version of your thought and writing process in English.

**The table above gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.** The table compares the amount of different items which spending by consumer in five different countries in 2002. Overall it can be seen that food/drink/tobacco were the higher percentage than other items which was bought of consumer, while leisure/education were the smallest items to bought. Meals were favorite items for costumer from five countries which was the percentage over 15. And the less favorite items were Leisure/education which was under 5 percent. Consumer from Sweden were the larger percentage to bought diets and cost free time/study than others as much as 32.14 and 4.35. Swede was the lowest percentage for two items, whereas consumer spending on foods just 15.77 and 5.40 for clothing/footwear. On the other hand, costumers from Italy enjoy to spending of clothing/footwear. This country becomes the biggest percentage as much as 9.00 than other country just under 7.00. And then, become the fourth state which like to bough food/drink/tobacco. *

Reski, when you write the overview, you have to read the chart right? As you read the chart, you come across the names of the countries that are required along with the information right? Don't you think that the names of the countries are an important factor to present in the overview along with the summary of the chart content? The prompt asks you to include all the important information in the essay. So, I would assume that the countries names are an important part of this portion of the report? It would make sense to include the names just to let the reader know about the concentration of the essay content. You can just do a run down in the opening statement if you wish. Say something like "The chart concentrates on presenting the data taken from the following countries, X, XX, XXX, XXXX, and XXXXX in relation to..." That simple, additional line makes the first paragraph of the essay strong and highly informative. The rest of the essay works out just fine. I really noticed that your main problem in this writing task centers upon how to effectively write an overview. I hope that you can improve that aspect with practice. Take note of my suggestions as I believe it can be of help to you in the next series of practice tests.

**Modern communications mean that it's no longer necessary to write letters. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.** In the past, letter is the main way to communicate with each other before telephone exist. I strongly disagree that the invention of telephone is replacing the function of letter, instead it enhances the use of writing letter by providing immediate response from recipient and reduce the cost to deliver message as the letter is only use to address formal occasion these days. It is true that writing letters is not occurred these days, necessarily to submit formal purpose. Those official reasons require letters as the old-fashioned way is important to prove the document legally according to law. As a result, writing letter is still valuable even if the modernization in communication is exist. This has been proved by the research of documents related to authorization from president to cabinets since old days until present days, which use formal letter rather than letter typed with computers. Even though the occurrence of using letter is still present, I completely think that replacement to computerized communication take less time to receive answer during daily conversation with other people and the cost of delivery will be cut down drastically. With purpose of shifting the habit of writing letter to updated communication, there are two benefits of this change. The means of writing letter does not replace by modern communication, instead it is modified to increase efficiency of time consuming in waiting the response from recipient. Online chatting is one example which show how the message can be improved by narrowing time need responses, which is necessary to make fast decision, for instance, the conducting heart resuscitation by nurses when doctor is not in hospital can be done through phone call at that moment. Another thing that worth to upgrade the habit of writing letter is cutting fees of delivering the letter, which implement in modern communication. It is undeniable that price to send a letter is quite expensive compared to online chat. By improving it to online chat, the budget of sending letter can be drastically reduced even though the price of smartphone is costlier than sending letter. So, the means of writing letter gets modified to developed communication in terms of time required to send the message as well as the delivery cost. All in all, it is generally not acceptable that the means of writing has been changed in formal way, however it gets modified to efficiently decrease time required and money spent to send the message.

Fadhil, due to the gravity of the confusion caused by the way you developed your essay, I do not believe it would score anything higher than a 4 in an actual test setting. The flow of thought in your essay is hard to follow and does not seem to properly represent the prompt in some instances. This is an error that could have been forced by your responding in English in a manner similar to the way you would form the sentence in your vernacular language. Often, these simple translations can cause difficulties for the reader who has to try and figure out what you are trying to say. You concentrated on the telephone as the mode of communication replacing letter writing. This is an error on your part because the prompt was asking you to discuss modes of modern communication. So it isn't just about the telephone. It is also about emails, texting, tweeting, messaging, and other related communication methods. By concentrating on one mode of communication, you limited your discussion and ability to properly discuss the essay. The essay was expecting you to discuss the prompt in general, not in specific terms.

TOEFL TEST: **People can solve important problems by themselves or with the help from their family members, so there is no need for the government to help them.** Today with the help from technologies, people can solve more problems than they used to. However, the government's policies still play an important role in our life, so I tend to think that people still need the government's help. There are some problems that people cannot solve all by themselves. The power of individuals is weak, but they can be organized efficiently to obtain some huge ambitions through the arrangement of the government. For example, the air pollution problem is quite sever severe in China. Although people can make contributions to solve the problem through taking public transportation instead of driving their own cars, the main pollution source is the iron or coal factory, which normal people can do nothing about them. However, the government can put more stricter regulations to restrict factories to give off toxic pollutions pouring dusts into the air and punish or close the factories which violate the rules. Moreover, the authority can encourage the public to buy the products from the companies whose producing process is friendly to the environment. With people buying more products from the eco-friendly companies, the merchants will change their making processes. All these measures cannot be done by individuals. This is also true when people face medical problems. When a person gets a severe disease like cancer, even though the whole family members will try everything to help him out, they often cannot afford such large amount of money. At this time people need government to help them and that's the reason for a national medical care system. What's more, even people can solve some difficulties they meet in lives, they still need the government to make the things easier. For example, when the young people want to start their own companies, they often find it hard to find early investors to invest them some money. If they have to find investors all by themselves, they have to go to the invest companies one by one and receive receive hundreds of rejections, which will hurt their confidence. On the other hand, investors also find it hard to look up good programs to support. If the government can help to arrange an open meeting, both the entrepreneurs and the investors have a chance to get together to find the best match. It would save them a lot of energies. In all, today people still have some problems that cannot solved by themselves or with the help of family members. As a result, we still need government to help people and make our life easier.

HI Fanceen, listen, I love the essay that you wrote. However, I don't think you provided the complete prompt instructions for us to read so I am not sure if you are properly representing your response in line with the prompt expectations. I will just assume that you are meeting the prompt requirements and judge the essay from there. As an examiner, I would rate this essay a 4 based on the writing rubic. The reason for that is that there is a clear understanding of the prompt represented in the essay introduction. You have managed to present acceptable reasons for your position. Most of which are displayed in a logical and understandable manner. Now, watch out for your redundancies or words that that you use which do not have a connection to the rest of the paragraph (e.g. sever severe). Although there is a generally clear representation of your discussion which makes the essay pleasant to read. There is a slight problem with your conclusion as it was too short. You need a minimum of 3 sentences in every paragraph, be it an introduction, body, or concluding paragraph. Regardless of the essay prompt. So far, these are the problems that I can see which would bring down your score in the actual test.

Hi.. This is me Kholil. Nice to meet you all, I'm new here. I want to discuss in this forum. **The importance of having both the certificate of TOEFL and IELTS** These days, quite a few people are really interested in doing the TOEFL and IELTS examination for their several purposes. They take the examination either in the nearest location of the test or in the off-site testing. This essay will clarify the benefits of taking the TOEFL and IELTS examination. TOEFL has several features that you may take according to your purposes. They consist of PBT, CBT, ITP, and IBT. The four features have different benefits you may gain. First of all, PBT (Paper-Based Test) is only used for training. If we apply for a Job using the certificate, it will only be in vain because the government does not regard it as the official testing result. CBT is quite similar to PBT, but CBT is now completely removed because it is not used any more. Since PBT and CBT have been removed, ITP and IBT have considerable benefits for you to use them both in getting accepted at a university and in applying for a job. ITP (Institutional Testing Program) might be used for applying local jobs. If you are interested in one of the jobs-Teaching English Jobs, for example-you will need to have the ITP Certificate. It is used to assess your ability in English whether or not you are competent in English. In addition to applying for a job, you might also use the ITP Certificate for getting accepted at one of the Universities you have been dreaming of. Besides ITP, IBT (Internet - Based Test) has potential benefit that you may use both for job and for University. The test is quite challenging and you need to prepare and practice it regularly to obtain a good score in IBT. Since the ITP has several good benefits, IELTS does too. IELTS (International English Language Testing System) which is held by ESOL Cambridge is now very popular in the world. The testing system in IELTS is a bit different from TOEFL. The English being tested in IELTS is mixed. It consists of British, American, Australia, and New Zealand. IELTS also has four sections namely Reading, Writing, Listening, and Speaking. There are many benefits you may obtain from taking the IELTS Examination since IELTS has two items: Academic Training Module and General Training module. First of all is Academic Training Module. If you do IELTS, the certificate you win after doing the examination--particularly Academic Training Module-might fully be used to apply for the outstanding universities in the world such as Cambridge, Oxford, California University, Sheffield University, and etc. Whereas the General Training Module is used for those who have desires to apply for some jobs. If they take the General Training Test in IELTS, their certificates of IELTS are fully acceptable in many companies especially abroad. Furthermore, IELTS also prevails to administer the meets of immigration to some countries such as Australia, Inggris, Canada dan New Zealand. The score in IELTS is varied. It depends on the policy of the countries. In brief, both TOEFL and IELTS have the same purposes; you might use both of them for applying jobs and Universities. The difference is that IELTS is quite popular and accents being used in test are varied. This is also more acceptable in British. Whereas TOEFL is currently very common. Also, it is more acceptable in America. Please make a comment about my writing !

Achmad, I guess one of the things that you have to learn about essay writing is that you must pose a question as a hypothesis before you decide to write an explanatory essay. What is the reason behind your desire to write this paper? Who is your target audience? What do you hope to have the reader understand when they finish reading the paper. These are considerations you have to present in your thesis statement, which comprises the first paragraph. The thesis statement will actually help you organize your paragraph discussions by offering your a chance to divide the paragraphs into topic statements. At the moment, your essay is very good in delivering information but you need to better organize your thoughts in a coherent manner. That should also be presented in a chronological manner in the essay. At the moment, you have room to do that in your essay. However, you should know how to divide your paragraphs because right now, the essay is quite difficult to read since your thoughts are all strung together in one continuous read. That makes it difficult for the reader to track your thoughts and the important matters you are presenting. Try to improve this essay using the suggestions I have made for you. I am sure it will help you with your essay development somehow.

**Some countries have come to rely on tourism as their major source of income. However, many people believe that the problems caused by tourism are more serious than those it has solved. Discuss both views. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.** Tourism, one of the leading industry in most of the countries, has direct impact on the socio-economic condition of the people living in that country. But also, it has negative impact on the cultural, religious and environmental sectors as it tends to change the uniqueness of the countries where they visit. Tourism industry has great advantage in improving the lifestyle of the local people and hence it improves the quality of life. It also helps in the modernization and because of the tourism, the development of the rural areas, introduction of newer technologies can be possible. Despite the few advantages, tourism has brought numerous negative repercussions in its religious, cultural and linguistic aspects.Moreover, it has degraded the nature by polluting the nature. For example, in the route of Mt. Everest , once there has been recorded huge collection almost 1 ton of rubbish due to the haphazard spreading fo waste by tourists. A perfect example of cultural and religious deterioration was took place in the southern part of Thailand because of tourists. Similarly in Nepal, we can easily see that the clout of the western culture and religion is slowly spreading over time. The people are unnecessarily quibbling in trivial matters such as religion, language, culture and customs and so on that ultimately disturbing the unity of the people living here. In similar fashion, tourists even can bring violence in the country. Some tourists commute others intending to harm such as spreading some noisome scandals that can hamper the serenity of the country. Even some tourists can involve in criminal activities like girls trafficking, drugs dealing and decimating activities. Once in Nepal, there found 3 tourists who were actively participating in the revolutionary campaign. Therefore, tourism has greater negative effects than its counterparts. To recapitulate, tourism can be the most important source of income generating activities of one country, but one must analyze its negative aspects. The government officials must be meticulous whether its positive aspects is greater or not.

Utsav, the first problem of your essay lies in the formatting. You have not managed to properly divide your essay into paragraphs that would have made it easier for the reader to follow. This error is specially evident in your third paragraph which is extremely long and contains 2 topics for discussion. Keep in mind that each paragraph should only house one topic at a time. That way it becomes easier for the reader to keep track of the discussion and you gain an opportunity to better discuss your topics. In this case, remember that the enter key is your friend. It can help you better format the paragraphs by creating line breaks in between paragraphs. Believe me, your essay format will become better because of it. Aside from the formatting problem, the essay seems to be highly informative. Regardless of the grammar problems, you manage to convey your opinion using effective examples to illustrate your point. Just one slight point of discussion though. It would seem that you are only discussing one side of the matter instead of discussing the 2 opinions stated in the prompt requirements.You need to balance the discussion by properly representing the prompt instructions. Otherwise, you will lose points in an actual test for non-compliance of the prompt requirements.

For decades, we have seen a number of disputes in this world only because of ideology. First of all, I would separate between ideology and science in order to be easy to understand in this paper. Ideology is the way of human being to achieve their purpose. It is also the rule of acts what is a good and what is a bad. Sketchily, ideology is a reference how to life in universal view. In the contrary, science is just related to particular view which just happens in nature. So, we can make simple that ideology is a philosophical view, and science is a empirical view. Thus, why have many ideologies in this world? From where those are coming from? If you are asking to someone why we should do this, and why we cannot do that? They will answer with their worldview. Worldview is a theoretical philosophy, and ideology is a practical philosophy. Worldview is discussing about our outlook about human being, society, nature, and history. We could say that worldview is foundation of ideology. Afterwards, how worldview could be different in each human being? The answer is because of epistemology. The way of human being gets knowledge. Sometimes, they have differences such as source of knowledge, method, and so on. My conclusion is better for us to learn about philosophy especially the epistemology in order we can be open minded to address diversity nowadays. I open to respond negative. This is my first writing. Thank you.

Hasan, your grammar is quite inconsistent in this essay. By inconsistent, I mean that your sentences are not easy to read because of the problem with word usage and sentence structure. There is a tendency for you to say things in reverse. So when you say; *"Afterwards, how worldview could be different in each human being?"*, the proper sentence structure for that statement would have been: *"How could the worldview be different for each human being?"* Do you see how the statement gains more clarity when the proper sentence structure is used? Next, I am wondering about the actual prompt or thesis statement that is supposed to be guiding this essay of yours. I wish I knew what the actual topic you were trying to discuss was. That way, I would be able to offer you more solid comments regarding the content and grammar usage of your research paper.

**In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?** Nowadays, the youth spend most of time on studying without doing the things they like. Honestly, this phenomenon may led to lots of problems since they burden too much pressure. To begin with, I convinced that the most of pressure comes from their parents. Parents always expect their children being outstanding. In order to achieve the goal, parents will supervise their children whether they study hard. Secondly, it has become more and more competitive in modern society. People who are more extraordinary than the peer can be chosen to those top companies. Beside earning a living, people are seeking to be successful. These factors cause a lot of negative effects, such as disease, tension of society, moreover, the growth of suicide. People should considerate these problems seriously. I suppose the direct solution is to change people's concept that studying is not the only method to success. Therefore, we should start change it from the individual to the organization. People should advocate the parity of each occupation and realize that each occupation is respectable, the white-collar is not better than the blue-collar. Moreover, the government should fund a scholarship to encourage those have talent in sport, music and painting children. It cannot deny that studying is important to the young people since knowledge is the foundation of developing. But we have to agree with that under no circumstance should they scarify their leisure time for studying only, they deserve to explore the world without bearing any burden.

Arlen, this essay reads like a solid 5 to me in the scoring band. While the introductory paragraph is quite wanting in terms of a proper restatement of the prompt and a summary of the proceeding discussion, the overall opinion that you stated within the essay is not bad at all. You obviously have a strong opinion on the topic, which makes me think that you are perhaps speaking from experience. While your sentence development needs work and more familiarity with the English grammar rules and vocabulary is necessary, somehow, I found myself clearly understanding what it is that you are trying to say. That is the most important part of this test. The fact that the examiner can understand your message could very well gain you a passing score in this test. That is the most important consideration of all. I do believe that you will continue to improve over time. After all, you can already think in English. You just need to become fluent in thinking in English and writing using the language.

***Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?*** We always hear many people decide an objective to their life is to be success, which success actually brings an important key of life that is happiness. However, people are difficult to explain the meaning of happiness is. In contrary, they know the aspects to attain the happiness. Further, this essay will discuss the topics. People ambitious are to be bliss, but when they are asked about happiness, they are dazed to explain it. This because many aspects can make people happy, even it is out of their expectation such as an unexpected simple thing. For instance, a beggar asks a woman's money, but a woman just gives him a piece of bread she has. Then, the beggar is gratitude and smile instead of it is out of his expectation. Therefore, cheerfulness is being hard to give a meaning, because it can be from a little thing that surprises us, but makes us to be grateful and have a good feeling. Besides, there is an objective to achieve happy things and it is influenced by some factors. In my view, one of them is attaining success. As an example, an IELTS catcher has learnt IELTS in formal course for three months. However, he has not achieved his score target. So, he forced himself to learn more over six months in his home before taking a real test. He finally got 6.5 of score then he was very happy and being grateful, even his aim was seven. It proves that having a good production of effort makes someone is happy. In conclusion, cheerfulness is the important thing that people aim in the life. It can be source from a simple thing which people are hard to elucidate. Moreover, accomplishing a successful thing can give people a happy life. 297w

Nur, you know that I only want you to improve in your writing skills right? That is why I am going to be honest with you and tell you that your essay will not score well if this had been a real IELTS test. I predict that an examiner would provide this essay with a low 5 in the band score. It would fail the test because of the problems that I hope to have you address by pointing them out here. There is a lack of proper thought development and sentence structure in the paper. Your vocabulary usage causes stress for the reader because the words you opt to use do not always apply to the obvious message of the essay. For example, what you do you mean by an "IELTS catcher"? The term does not make sense and has the reader wondering about what you are trying to explain. Did you mean "exam taker" instead? Or perhaps something similar?

A comparison of information about proportion on various consumption sectors in five different states in 2002 is shown in the table. Overall, food, drink and tobacco had the highest percentage while expenditure for leisure and school had the lowest percentage in those countries. For meal, refreshment, and tobacco had the smallest proportion in Sweden only 15.77%. In Spain and Italy, both had under a fifth in that sector. The greatest proportion was Turkey at 32.14% Italy spent for clothing or footwear is the most than other countries. Irealand, Spain, and Turkey had outcome at the same category for about six percent. The least of spending in this part is Sweden in a very small number 5%. Spare time and education had under one in twenty in all countries. It became the lowest consumption than other sectors. Sweden had 0.02 percent higher than Italy while Spain spent not more than 2% in this section. *

Meireza, the first and foremost problem that I can see in the way that this essay was written lies in the method by which you composed each paragraph. Each paragraph should have a minimum of 3 sentences each. The introduction should run longer at a maximum of 5 sentences because that paragraph dictates the discussion that will be presented in the succeeding paragraphs. A short overview indicates that you are unable to understand the illustration that you were provided and therefore, you tried to avoid explaining or sharing the information that you were given in summary form. The same goes for the succeeding paragraphs. You are supposed to be able to accurately explain the figures presented in an essay / research form that will inform the reader regarding the content of the essay. However, by keeping the report down to a minimum, there is now a perception that you are unable to form coherent sentences in English and most likely, you do not have a good grasp of English grammar. You need to present fully developed sentences and paragraphs in order to prove your ability to understand and share the information that the illustrations you must refer to provides.

***The table above gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.*** The table show the percentage of number of customer spending their money on some items in five different countries in 2002. Overall, the highest percentage came from Turkey, on the other hand the least number came from Sweden. As is presented on the table, Turkey was the most spent money for private needs and academic needs, which spent for primary consumption such as food, drink and tobacco, at 32,14. It was the highest number for spend in leisure and school, at 4,35. The second highest came from Ireland, which paid 28,91 for tobacco and food. Meanwhile, it is very little to spent for leisure, at 2,21. In contrast, Italy has highest number to spend budget for clothes, at nine and spend for education. It was the second percentage, at about three. There is no significant number happened of Spain that spend under two percent for education. It was the least number compare to other countries of education and holiday. Generally, the least percentage of several items that measures it was Sweden, which had just 15,77 spend for food and drink that spent at three for education needs (187w) *

Bada, when you summarize your report, you should make sure to mention a complete overview of the information in the first paragraph. So you should have delivered the name of all 5 countries and an overview of their expenses within the first 5 sentences of the essay. That is how a complete and accurate summary is presented in this essay. The scoring range for this would be either 4 or 5 depending upon the way that the examiner would perceive the number of errors in presentation within the essay. Personally, I believe it should get a 5. However, the inaccuracy in the summary statement in the first paragraph could have a great effect on the final outcome of an actual test. So I am scoring it a 5 with reservations regarding the problems I noted above. Please note that the problem with the essay can easily be resolved by simply making sure that all summary information is noted in the first paragraph.

***Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?*** From the past time until now and maybe in the future, joyfulness is the key to make our life become meaningful. Some argue that lot of money, luxurious clothes, jewelry will be useless if the people cannot live happily. Meanwhile, although people live in poor and hunger condition, but usually they can enjoy their live because they already know what the way of their life. I personally agree if happiness is hard to define. Taken example of that, if some psychologist asked about the way to become happy, they have different answers and it can be concluded that every person has no similarity in their pattern to become happy. Wealthy people has their own way to get comfortable feeling. They usually share their worth and make donation for orphanage, street children, and some social organization. Sometimes they also invite the children to their home, make an event that they can laugh together, and give souvenirs when they back to the home. In contrast, poor people cannot do this. They help other people with their energy and skills. For instance, they can help to build their neighbor home, sometimes give snack even meals to the children around their home, also teach some knowledge to other without any fee. Based on the previous paragraph that already explained, we can sum it into one key-factor. Happiness can be achieved if the people helpful or give many benefit with their surroundings. Although if they only can give a little piece of smile but it will give positive energy to other. Furthermore, one thing that become the ultimately important is feeling sincere without hope any response to the people that helped. All in all, life is become convenient if we feel happy every day. It will bring positive energy to be more productive in the work, and to be more relaxed when we take a rest.

Faiz, on a scoring band, this will most likely be a 6. That is a very good score considering the impediments to expression that are evident in your essay. It is good that although your use of the English language is somewhat limited and confused, you still managed to make yourself understood in every paragraph. That is what is important you know. Regardless of the problem in grammar usage and sentence development, you still manage to get your message across. While it might take a little guesswork on the part of the reader, you get the job done. Using simple grammar doesn't mean you are bad at English, it just means you want to make sure that you express yourself well. However, you will need to work on that familiarity in order to bring a sense of fluency to your written discussions. If you can think fluidly in English, you will most likely, be able to write (almost) flawlessly in English as well.

**The table gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002. Writing Task 1** The table reveals the information regarding to the consumer expenditure on different necessities across a range of five countries. It is measured by percentage in 2002. Overall, it is immediately apparent that food/drink/tobacco quantities were the largest over the time. Henceforward, Italy had spent considerable amount of money for clothing/footwear, meanwhile Turkey had the highest percentage of expenditure for leisure/education. With regards to the two largest proportion of food/drink/tobacco was Turkey that stood at 32,14%, while Ireland had slight difference in its number at 28,91%. In contrast, Italy, Spain and Sweden had similar figure at aproximately above 15%. Concerning to the rest needs, Italy had the largest number of clothing/footwear at 9%, while Spain had smaller quantities than two other countries at 5,40%. On the other hand, the percentage of leisure/education had been spent mostly by Turkish citizen at 4,35% and Spain had the tiniest proportion in this category at 1,98%. (151 words) *

Septia, the overview for our opening statement is incomplete. Make sure to present the complete information in that part with regards to the countries involved in the discussion. You must include that as part of the summary. In this instance, I was left wondering as to what the other 3 countries in the table were because, while you mentioned 5 countries in total, you only mentioned simplified information for 2 countries from the list. Your second paragraph should have at least 3 sentences in it. Since it only as 2 sentences in it, it would appear that the information is lacking. Make sure to always fully develop your reports by not cutting information out when it is necessary to keep the information in or when it can help to expand the paragraph to the correct number of sentences. Remember that the paragraph format counts towards your final score as well.

**The table gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002.** The table illustrates about the percentage of kinds of things which was bought by consumer in five different countries in 2002. Overall, it can be seen that, the shopper in five countries bought each item just under 35 percent and the most popular item was food or drink or tobacco for each country. In the Ireland, most of consumer bought food, drink or tobacco more than others at 28.91 percent. Besides, the percentage of clothing or footwear was bought by purchaser bigger than the percentage of leisure or education at fewer than 6 and 2 percent respectively. In the same case, consumer from Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey were interest to buy food or drink or tobacco than others at under 35 percent. Whereas, the number of clothing or footwear was bought by buyer greater than the percentage of leisure or education at under 10 and 5 percent particularly. Shopper from Turkey excessively purchased such as food or drink or tobacco and it became a country that high consume of this item which sold at 32.14 percent. Clothing or footwear was popular in the Italy and the percentage item was sold at 9 percent. The last was leisure or education, where many consumers from Turkey were spending on this item which sold at 4.35 percent.

Wily, I am afraid to say that the possible score for this written work would be no more than 4. You have a lack of information in the opening statement. Which left the summary incomplete and ill informed. The sentences are not well developed and the thought process is not always coherent. This made the essay quite difficult to read as I had to take time to try and understand how the information that you presented connected with one another. Additionally, because you did not include the chart as an upload, I did not have a point of comparison for your statements and the actual information you were supplied with. Please remember to upload the illustration next time. Overall, this is a good attempt at writing a report summary. You should get better over time, provided you remember to take note of your current writing issues and then making sure to address those over your next few practice tests. I am sure you are going to show improvement. I look forward to reading it.

**The table above gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.** The table elucidates information about the percentage of people's expenditure for several things in five different countries, including Ireland, Italy, Sweden, and Turkey in the year 2002. As is presented in the table, most of people in those countries spent their income for their diet such as in food, beverages, and tobacco. The lowest was for their leisure or study necessary. To begin with, the highest outlay was spent in food stuff such as meal, drink, and tobacco. In Turkey and Ireland, the percentage in diet spent almost a third nearly five times higher than expenditure in clothing and footwear. On the other hand, Spain and Sweden spent their income in dress about three times less in diet. Meanwhile, in Italy people spent 16.36 percent of their income for their foodstuff almost twice than clothing. Leisure and education became the least expenditure that people spent in 2002. Only 4.35 percent of Turkey people's income spent on pastime and education. The result was nearly same for others countries, which was no more than 5 percent.  * *Consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002*

Nuraini, tobacco is considered a leisure item so you should not have listed it among the food supplies. Remember to properly state the classification of your items because this has a direct relation on your comprehension skills and also allows the reviewer to better judge your knowledge of English terms and classifications. I believe that your score for this test would range somewhere between the 6 and 7 options due to certain strengths that can be found in your presentation. You also tried and somewhat effectively used heightened grammar skills in terms of vocabulary and sentence. Which is what pushed your score, in my opinion, towards the higher scoring bracket. You were able to present a proper summary and understandable data discussions within the essay. It would seem that your writing and comprehension skills are somewhat entering the intermediate level of English use. Good work.

**The graph above shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.** The line graph shows information about the quantities of goods in million tonnes based on four different types of transports from 1974 to 2002 in the UK. Overall, there has been an upward trend in various modes of transport figures over the period and the most significant growth was road. During this period, transfer of goods by rail and pipeline only under 50. Between 1974 and 1994, the amount of items in pipeline rise gradually From 5 to 25 then steady until 2002. In contrast, the figures of pipeline was an annual decrease until reached the bottomed at 30 in 1994. However, in the next quarter, it increased by more than 10 and reached a peak at 42 in 2002. The transportation by water stood at 38 while road 70 in 1974. Then, there was a slight increase for both until 1978 and followed by went up a lot to 58 for water while road decline slightly in 1982. There was remained constant for water before 1994 but then fell back to 55 in 1998. Meanwhile, road increase enormously, although there was fluctuation before it achieved the highest at 94 in 2002. *

Merieza, there is an incomplete overview in your opening paragraph. You must always present at least 3 sentences in each paragraph in order to display the impression that you understood the information you were presented with. The increased sentence count also allows you to better represent the complete information as per the graph presentation. There is also a lack of a proper concluding statement. Without the proper recap or repeated summary at the end, the requirements of the essay format are not properly met. The information presented is not smooth and lacks the proper reference words in order to create a proper flow of conversation and representation of the unit of measurement used in the graph. That unit of measurement must be consistently represented in the information because without it, the reader gets lost regarding the measurements being presented.

When it comes to whether or not we should get away from our parents as soon as possible for the independence, some may claim that it appears justifiable since it can make one independent soon. However, this belief apparently ignores that the society is much more complex than we think and it may cause those who are not mature enough to be deceived when they have no parents around them. Thus it is fair to conclude that it is better to live with parents for a longer time. First of all, our parents definitely have a lot more knowledge and experiences than us, which means we can always learn from them while we live together. And as result, It is evident that we can grow mature and sophisticated much sooner. For instance, my sister has worked for almost three years and she is still live with us. And always can I hear that my sister ask my parents for some issues happened in her company. And hardly cannot my parents solve her problems, which, I think, totally help my sister's career life. However, people who have already left their parents cannot easily find someone experienced enough for the guidance. In addition, family member especially parents are the most significant relations in one's life. Not only can we share happiness and sorrow with them, but we can also do something childish to give vent to our bad feelings to them, which will absolutely help one's mental health. In other words, those who cannot take out their sorrow in time undoubtfully will easily be sick both in manual and mental. Last but not the least, people now have less time to cook themselves due to the heavy work. And many may have to eat out for the whole weekdays. However, those who live with parents can always eat at home and enjoy the good dishes, which in turn make their performance in work better. Furthermore, I still remember my cousins who live alone have a quite bad life habits such as smoking and drinking to much, which ultimately make him unhealthy. To a conclusion, we should examine the issue beyond its surface value to root its cause. Only in this way, can we know living with parents for a longer time is better. Since, on the one hand, we will have a healthier and happier life, meanwhile, we can have better behaviors in the career. In short, it is worthwhile to live with parents for a longer time.

Xin, I wish that you had attached the original prompt along with your essay. That prompt is supposed to be the basis of our analysis of your essay. At this point, I can only hazard to guess the type of question you were provided and the extent of your compliance with the prompt. While the essay is well thought out and shows a clear flow of thought and development of discussion, I feel like there should have been more of a balance in your discussion through the comparison of the pros and cons of children living with their parents for a longer period of time. I believe that your opinion is good and sound. There are a number of positive points in this essay actually. First of all, your flow of thought is smooth and transfers in an understandable method into paragraph form. Second, you based the proofs in your essay on commonly known reasons which help to create the impression that you are capable of thinking in English and forming coherent thought and speech patterns. Finally, your language may not be smooth but you certainly engaged the reader in a manner that did not stress the reader out while reading your work.

The line graph provides information about four types of transport that delivered things in the UK from 1974 to 2002. Overall, it can be seen that delivered objects by road was the most used while using pipeline was the lowest during the period. To start with, in 1974 the number of materials transported by road stood at 70 million tonnes. It was followed by using of rail, water, and pipeline in serial. Four years later, using road was a slight increase in almost 80 million tonnes. Then, water and rail reached the same quantity of goods to deliver by 40. However, pipeline was stable at the same number. Between 1982 and 1986, the number of objects was contained by pipeline increased to around 20. Delivering by road and water experienced declining and inclining in serial. However, transporting rail was stable. Between 1990 and 2002, conveying things used four kinds of transport increased generally. Road was a dramatic incline from 80 to almost 100 million tonnes. Water and rail went up from 60 and just under 40 to 70, and over 40 respectively. Nevertheless, water ever fell to 50 in 1998 and rail to 30 in 1994. Then pipeline experienced stable of goods quantity after reached a peak at over 20 in around 1994. 211w *

After analyzing your essay based upon the writing task 1 scoring band, I have come to the decision that the possible final score you can get for this type of writing in an actual test cannot be higher than a 5. While you managed to deliver the information that the report requires, you faced problems when it came to developing clear explanations in the later sentences. There was a redundancy in the use of the word "serial" and, there was no clear explanation as to how the word relates to the graph that you were trying to explain. This caused some difficulty for me as a reader. You should build up your ability to use various words that can be used in place of a single word. These are called synonyms. The use of these words can very well help increase your score in the future practice tests. Mostly because the use of synonyms proves that you have an adequate, if not intermediate knowledge of English words.

**Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?** It is assumed by raising the price of petrol would result in solving the growing issue of emission and traffic. In this case, I would argue that although petrol price is increased, it would not lead to tackling these problems. Instead, it would cause other problems such as the increasing cost of staple food and other public transportation. Other solutions, such as introducing the law to use public transportations and stopping illegal logging, should be taken into consideration. Those who believe by increasing the price of petrol would terminate the problem of pollution and traffic are because they thought there would be a decrease in the use of private cars due to high price of fuel. If the fuel price is higher, then people do not want to use their cars and use public transportation instead. In fact, an increase in petrol price will bring domino effects to other sectors, such as public transportation and the price of staple food in market. Taking Indonesia as an example, there was a raise in fuel in 2008, and it was followed by the increasing price of chili, onion, and meat in traditional market. In addition, the price of tickets for using public transportation also went up and people kept driving their cars on roads so that traffic and pollution issues still happen nowadays. The examples that have been mentioned are tangible proof that increasing the price of petrol is not the best solution and other measures are needed. I believe in order to prevent emission and traffic problems, promoting the law to use public transportation and ceasing illegal logging problems will solve these issues. This is because if government changes the law, many people will switch to use public transportation instead of their private cars. The reinforcement law in illegal logging also makes illegal loggers think twice if they want to cut down the trees so that traffic and pollution issues can be handled. To sum up, a raise in petrol will not solve the growing problem of traffic and pollution. In fact, it only creates new problems, so that other measures such as promoting law to use public transportation and stopping illegal logging would be more effective.

Hi Miftah, you could possibly score a 6 on the scoring band with this essay. As I read the essay, I came to realize that you not only understood the prompt provided, but you also bothered to analyze the question in reference to possible solutions that you could provide. Therefore, it became evident that the person writing the essay has a somewhat advanced knowledge of the language. The person also has the ability to develop cohesive sentences, even though there may be problems with his word choices throughout the essay. These mistakes do not impede the discussion that you are presenting. Therefore, you have a very good chance of passing this particular section of the IELTS test. Try to focus more on developing your English vocabulary and practice developing simple sentences for your use in the practice tests. We need to show that your language use can increase to a point where you can score even higher in the practice tests which can translate to a higher rating in the actual test.

***In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.*** Normally, many young people continue their study after graduate from high school. However, in some regions in the world before graduate students go to university, they are urged to work and travel for a year. This idea has some advantages and disadvantages and this essay will discuss the notion. Young people who have job after graduate from high school will learn how to manage their time better than before. Because we all know, that work world has certain regulation that has to be followed by employees. They will get some advantages like experiences itself and time management ability than ordinary university students. For instance, young people who have worked as sales will know more how to count marketing results and its profit. Their knowledge about marketing is also more than others' knowledge. They will be fast to understand because they have experienced it. Moreover, if they work in other city, it will train them to be independent people who can manage their life without depending on their parents. However, some disadvantages will be experienced by graduate student when they postpone their study at university like when they getting convenience work will make them to think again to continue their study after a year work experience. Taking an example in my friend, she has worked after she finished her study at high school. Her job brings a high salary above standard of UMR, but her mother wants her has a university degree. Nevertheless, my friend do not want to continue her study since she thinks that she has been lucky working at good and convenience job, while after university it will end to find job again. She also thinks that her university friends have young age than hers, which it is not comfortable for her. So, it will be one reason to do not to continue their study at university. To sum up, it is good for young people to work before going to university to enrich their skill and experience. However, convenience job sometimes maintain graduate high school students to continue working then study at university. 346w

Nur, your line of reasoning in this essay is choppy. There are inconsistencies in your flow of thought and you often times do not get your message across to the reader. These problems are due to your lack of ability in terms of developing your sentences. Your grammar is weak and your sentences are limited to simple declarations which make for limited sentence structure. While your message eventually gets across to the reader, it takes the full concentration of the reader to actually begin to understand your meaning. I am not sure if you were informed by your instructor but when developing these sorts of essay discussions, it is best to discuss one topic per paragraph in order to fully develop your support or opposition to a provided reason. In your second paragraph, you presented two reasons, which left the latter reason under developed because you ran out of space to expand upon it. As such, your line of reasoning was affected because you seemed to not have enough evidence to support the later addition in the paragraph. Had you given that line its own paragraph concentration, you would have been able to develop the reasons to support the statement better. Your conclusion also requires more information that what you presented. An effective conclusion properly summarizes the discussion and its important points, before presenting the concluding statement. Over all, a total of 3 sentences should be seen in that section.

Please could you review some of the report/essay that I have started to do on designing a tailored recipe for an low income family at low cost and explain what is involved. Please make your corrections and helpful suggestions to improve. In this report, it will examine the design of a recipe that fits the nutritional requirements of a low income family. It will explore the cost and dietary needs of the particular family ensure that the recipe is affordable and are nutritious for everyone. Firstly, a description of the family. This is a family of three and married with a young female adult. This family comprises of female aged 50 years old with thyroid problems works full-time in an office 8 hours a week. The female suffers from high blood pressure since the demand of their work can be stressful at times. 50 year old female visits the hospital once a year for check up appointments regarding their thyroid problem and is managed by medication Health professionals have advised the 50 year old female to reduce the stress levels and implement exercise into the schedule for improving the activity of thyroxine in the body. Another family member is male aged 59 years old who is physically active runs twice a week. They do not suffer from any allergies and occasionally get dehydrated after running a few miles. Lastly, a female aged 24 years old who works part-time although their job is very active as this family member does not exercise that much but only gets in 30mins each day. The family comes from a Caribbean background where they are custom to high carbohydrates diet for example, boiled green banana, fried fish, fried plaintain and eat little fruits and vegetables. The family have a strict preference in not eating pork but can eat other meats such as chicken. This report will focus on the 50 year old female with thyroid problem who requires low salt in their diet and 24 years old female who requires carbohydrates, proteins and other vitamins to help her to gain weight and be more active during the day. The families' income are £500 per week which are used to pay the household bills, shopping and family trips around UK. The family have been through education although the funds have limited, 50 year old female and 59 year old male was able to get funding from the government to pay for their education. The family believe that education is important to improve their situation but are concern about their diet as they are looking to change the Caribbean diet to a healthier option. Researchers (Who) recommend that changing your lifestyle can lead to a longer healthier life. Low Diet and Income Survey shows that more people are dying from cancer and cardiovascular diseases due to consuming the western diet on a daily basis. The life expectancy has decreased from ? to ? which encourages people to go eat junk food that can go in a microwave rather than taking healthier option in making pre-cooked food which is more expensive living the healthier way. The family decided that they want to change their eating habits to a healthier option but based on their income, education they are not able to afford the alternative option. It is possible to eat a healthier meal on a cheap budget. The family have considered eating a heathier diet in the past but was not able to afford the cost of healthy foods for example, fruits and vegetables they would go to the local market stall for meat as it was cheaper. The family have intended to look at the options of eating a balanced diet. Families from the low income population in areas of London tend to use larger supermarkets than the local markets because they have a variety of food choice and looking for an inexpensive option at larger supermarket. "Low Diet and Income Survey, "The average family would spend on shopping cost £28 per week" which is not a lot of feed the size of your family and maintain a health balanced diet. In terms of the family, the female 50 year old with thyroid problems can lead to high blood pressure as the body can be stressed working full-time and meeting deadlines. The female would need to limit their salt intake and would help to reduce the high blood pressure. People of Black African and South Asian descent are sensitive to effects of too much salt and are at higher risk of health conditions such as coronary heart disease (Actiononsalt.org). According to GDA (2005), The daily amount salt for adults is 6g per day which is 1 level teaspoon that can change depending on their age and activity level. Male 59 years old who is physically active would require to incorporate proteins and carbohydrates into their diet which will help in strengthen the bones and maintain energy. The amount of protein and carbohydrate will depend on the activity levels... Female 24 years old would require more protein, carbohydrates and vitamins which can be obtained from green vegetables and meat. The design of the recipe will incorporate the female 50 years old with thyroid problems which require low salt and the female 24 years old who require carbohydrates and proteins. Due to the religion preference, turkey was the main meat in an recipe as they wanted to explore other meats but not chicken. The recipe will be nutritious and affordable to meet the nutritional requirements of the family of three adults which will take consideration of the female with thyroid problems so it could contain low salt foods and carbohydrates, proteins and vitamins. The family tend to use salt and flavours to the Caribbean tradition where the food was spicy and had rich flavours. The foods will change to meet the income of the family and able to afford the recipe at low cost. The family want to make changes to a healthier balanced diet where they will get the nutrients that they need to reduce the ailments that they have suffered with over the years. The original recipe was taken from a recipe cookbook titled "Root vegetable curry"

Amanda, let us first address the formatting problems of your essay. When you introduce the family, devote one paragraph per family member in the description. The reason you have to divide the description is because each family member has a specific health consideration. In order for the reader to properly assess / understand that health concerns of the person. By separating the descriptions, you will allow the reader to connect the specific illness with the specific family member. When you discuss the members in this single paragraph format, the tendency will be to overwhelm the reader with information, causing him to forget what it is you are trying to say. Try to avoid redundancies in your essay. By using the paragraph per family member format, you will only need to mention the age of the person once, at the beginning of the paragraph. That way the reader manages to focus solely on the issue of importance. The same advice applies to the presentation of the food requirements. Connect the diet specifically and separately per person. That will allow for a clarification of the meal requirements of each person and why the meal requirements are set up that way. To recap the format of your essay per paragraph should be: 1. Family member description 2. Health concerns 3. Meal plan Using this format, the essay gains a sense of clarity, continuity, and understanding on the part of the reader. You are also given more room to discuss the important aspects of the essay as a separate paragraph as well.

IELTS Writing Task 2 **Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?** For the sake of convenient transportation and lots of world chain companies, people can purchase things easily even those products are not made in their countries. In my opinion, this is a positive development and my states are following. Nowadays, it is quite common that the people lives in the US wears alike the people in China. In terms of music, food, and the brand of phones, people seems to use the same things all over the world. In this case, each country is losing its own feature. I have been to Bali once, at the end of the trip, my suitcase was empty. Since the souvenirs sold in Bali are almost the same things displaced on Taipei street. Moreover, the price were so close that I wasn't willing to carry such heavy stuff back to my country. Secondly, this trend has serious impact on the local business. The reason that people can buy the things anywhere is because of those international chain companies. Compare to these huge enterprise, local business doesn't have the abundant resources. It becomes harder and harder to earn a living. On the other side, although from the top to the toe, from the gadgets to the essential items are more and more similar in the world. I believe the value of each county doesn't decide by these products. You can eat sushi in UK as in Japan, however, you can't experience the history of fishing in Japan. The products people using are just the surface, what people caring, what people thinking are the inner value of a county. It is culture which cannot be replaced easily. Next, globalization is a ongoing issue that no one can stop. Instead of complaining, the government should enact. For example, providing the subsidy to the local business and assisting the local to find their advantages. To conclude, the concept of global village is changing the game rule. In order to escape or hide, we should face it with optimistic attitude. Dear friends, I am not good at the sentence completion and the grammar... Please give some advice to enhance my writing, thank you so much!!

Sandy, your paper will not score higher than a 4 in an actual test. As you have admitted, you have a problem with sentence completion and grammar. These problems affected the overall essay because you were not able to accomplish a number of things in the essay. These include: 1. An incomplete opening statement. the introduction must give a summary of the prompt, your opinion, then an overview of the discussion in order to be more effective. 2. Learn to group your discussions into relevant paragraphs for the body of the essay. One paragraph requires one fully developed topic. You should concentrate on presenting only one reason so that you won't have a hard time developing the accompanying sentences in support of it. 3. The conclusion also requires you to be more aware of the discussion that you have just presented. This is done by creating a summary of the discussion you just presented.

Review of Research Essay. I need someone to review this if possible. **Giving the Internet Away: Research Proposal** By Ashley Baggs Almost everyone using the internet daily. Even if you do not, you know how it works. When typing in things like Facebook.com or Twitter.com, you are presented with a website. Have you ever wondered how that works? ICANN is the company that helps make it all possible. Recently, ICANN has been in the news quite a lot. The issue at hand is that Obama is seeking to change things up. Some say that he is wanting to give ICANN's power and oversight to other countries. Others disagree. We will look at both sides during this research paper. Taking a deeper look at ICANN and what it does may help those who are unsure about what ICANN does. ICANN does stand for Internet Corporation for Names and Numbers. This can be very confusing when you aren't sure of how the internet works. To break it down further, ICANN makes sure that when someone buys a .com (.net,.org, etc.), that it has not be purchased with someone else and that the name is available for purchase. They work closely with companies like GoDaddy, Endurance International, WIX and many other website hosting companies. The newest controversy around ICANN is that Obama is wanting to "give it away" to other countries. While most of the articles that are posting about ICANN and Obama are right-wing websites. ICANN is currently working with the government to regulate the domain names and set the necessary rules needed for registering the domains. The biggest question: What is Obama wanting to do with ICANN? While reviewing Breitbart.com, we find that they are a news website and are mostly conservative. The article itself has an opinionated voice to it, the source has posted valid information about the topic. Specifically, they do not want Obama to change the regulations and the way that ICANN is handled. They have posted articles and videos backing up their opinion. The video is a congress man speaking about the changes that Obama is hoping to make and how they would negatively affect the internet. The second website that posts about this topic is Blackenterprise.com. They also have a similar stance on why Obama should not make changes to the way that ICANN is regulating the internet and who oversees them. Another source that posts on the topic is a more popular source, Npr.org. They do go more in depth about the topic and break down what is already occurring within the organization. Within their article, they state that ICANN is already making bad choices. They say that some of the things that ICANN is doing is already including Russia, China and Iran. They state that ICANN is already plotting against the Unites States because they have allowed other countries to work with them. Npr.org uses other politicians to increase their credibility. They state that the Senator of Texas is against the changes that ICANN could potentially see. Forbes.com takes another similar stance on the changes to ICANN. They see the changes as a threat to national security. They break down the purpose of ICANN extremely well and go into depth about why the changes that Obama is wanting to make, would be a bad decision. They state that if the government gives up ICANN, it could pose a threat to an important area of US military operations. It leaves the whole cyber portion of the United States vulnerable. While this may not entirely be true, it does show the potential that the changes can have. Recently, new changes have been made to the topic as time has progressed. Slate.com posted a more recent article about the changes that have taken affect and the result of the issue. They state that this is not the first time that a transition has tried to happen. In the past, China has tried to replace ICANN but failed. It seems that most other countries prefer that the regulations that ICANN handle, be under different management. It seems with the newest on goings, ICANN has been designated as safe. ICANN will still be held accountable for regulating the internet and making sure transitions are smooth for those who register domains. MSNBC.com has been covering this topic for more than just this once. They keep up on the current events revolving ICANN and most other popular topics in the news. They have built themselves up as a credible news organization and can post about debatable topics while keeping a neutral tone. They post more about the facts of the news than the opinions they have formulated behind them. They use quotes to solidify their credibility on at least this topic, which helps the readers to understand that they truly just want to bring forth knowledge for their readers that aren't fully aware of the issue at hand. The quote that they included in the article clearly states why we should not be worried about Russia or China taking over the internet. Politico.com mostly uses quotes as their way to back up their point of view for the ICANN changes. They quote Ted Cruz and other Republicans to ensure that they are a right-wing company and do not agree with the changes the Obama is attempting to make to ICANN. They bring us back to the concerns of Russia and China regulating the internet and causing our freedom of speech to be threatened. While they are not entirely against the transition, they want to ensure that all the questions regarding the issue have been answered. They quote Sen. Jerry Moran on this topic and hope that Obama can ensure that things will turn out right for our country. When working in the internet industry, people must understand how the internet works and why it is important to have regulations behind it. If we do not regulate the names that people register, we could end up with duplicates of names and confusion on how to get to certain sites. ICANN has regulated the internet registration and made it easier for us to not have to worry about remembering an IP address and instead we can type in a simple phrase or string of words to get to a website. Without ICANN regulating things, we could have a real mess on our hands. Regardless of who is regulating ICANN, having one domain per IP address is extremely important. It is important to ensure that ICANN is regulated properly and not limiting Americans and their freedom of speech as well though.

Ashley, I appreciate your interest in doing research regarding the ICANN controversy that concerns all of us who use the internet. However, I am not sure that your thesis statement is clearly represented in the opening statement. Why should be review both sides of the issue regarding control of ICANN? Can you narrow down the thesis statement for the reader? It seems like you are trying to discuss a very wide topic in this essay. So narrowing it down to a specific question or discussion will be essential in keeping the information you present relevant to the research. Now, with regards to the sources that you are presenting in the paper, I do not really see a proper in-text reference for the data. Keep in mind that when you do not properly cite your references within the text, you will be performing an act of plagiarism, which could ring an alert should the professor decide to run this essay through a plagiarism checker. Make sure you use the correct citing format in your essay in order to avoid that potential problem. I have no problem with the information you present in the essay though. It is informative. I am just not sure if it is informing, as a reader, in the right way.

**Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be always taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.** The punishment for evildoers must be fixed. For another party, the condition of a suspect and their willing to execute, should be considered when determining the conviction. I believe the prisoners must get a penalty but awareness and responsibility of them toward their cases can be taken as a consideration. An individual crime must be responsible for various type of crime which they have done. There should be a fixed punishment to make they realize that they have done an unlawful action. Besides, it encourages them to be a better person in the future life. Taking Roy marten, an Indonesia artist as an example. He got a punishment because of his addiction to the narcotics. After he runned his penalty, he realized to dissociate with narcotics. Although a felon must get a conviction, the circumstances of felon and their motivation to commit it should be taken account when give them the punishment. The consideration about the state of criminal persons and their motivation to responsible should be a reasoning when adjudicate them. Sometimes, many small cases get a difficult penalty and fine. The old people who do not understand about verdict also get the same deal. Warsini case for instance. Warsini is old woman who was judged for theft of food case. She did that because she did not have any money for buy food. Therefore, the judge should considerate about her situation when deciding the punishment for her. To sum up, I believe all of individual crimes have to get a punishment. However, the judge must consider about defendant circumstances and their willing to commit it.

Merieza, you accidentally ended up discussing only your opinion throughout this essay. You must remember that the prompt requirements dictate the kind of discussion and the placement of the discussion paragraphs throughout the essay. Since this is a practice essay, I am advising you to go back and write a new essay that will follow the prompt requirements thereby creating a properly developed essay discussion on your part. Be sure to discuss the two sides of the issue as an observer first, then, in the 4th paragraph, discuss your point of view before concluding with a summary statement in the fifth and last paragraph. In this current version, all you did was present supporting facts for your stand on the matter, which did not help because the examiner will suddenly realize that you did not understand the instructions you were provided with.

***The diagrams show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.*** The diagrams inform how the cement is produced with the tools explained, and the production process to make the concrete for building materials. It can be seen that both of processes use rotating force to make the cement and mixing the concrete. The equipment of cement production consists of the crusher, mixer, rotating, heat producer, grinder and bags. The process starts when limestone and clay as the raw material are crushed by the crusher to be powder. The powder is gone to the mixer and rotated in the rotating heater along with heat that created by the heat source. After that, the material that had been processed in the heater is grinded in the grinder. Finally, the cement is created and ready to be packed with bags. For the production of concrete, less than a fifth of cement, a quarter of sand, and a half of small stones are used to make the concrete. One in ten water is used as well. Then after all of the material is placed in the concrete mixer, the material is rotated by the mixer to create the mixed concrete. (186 Words) *

Ivan, your essay is informative and uses the information from the diagram accurately. However, the essay suffers from a number of problems that could affect the overall grade. For example, your opening summary is not sufficient in terms of the number of sentences used to narrate the overview. Please note that such opening remarks must contain a minimum of 3 lines, maximum of 5. Owing to the brief summary you have presented, the examiner will assume that your notes are incomplete and doesn't accurately represent the diagrams presented. The same problem exists in your final paragraph where, you only present two sentences as well. Those are the main areas of concern in your current essay that you must take note of and address during the development of your next practice test.

**The diagrams show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.** The diagrams illustrate the manufacturing process of cement and concreting cement as a source to composite other materials when building things. When processing cement, limestone and clays are used as inputs. After that, cement as an output in cement production become an input in concrete production with sand, water, and gravel. Making cement consists of the crusher, mixer, rotating heater, and grinder as the equipment. Firstly, limestone and clay are put into crusher. Below the crusher, there is powder which is needed to make crusher whirl. Secondly, the mixture of limestone and clay through the mixer machine and get into a rotating heater. While it is rotated, fire heats the mixture. Following this, it will be demolished in grinder machine and put into the cement bags. Concreting cement is processed by mixing all of the ingredients into the concrete mixer. 15 percent of cement is needed to create concrete cement. At the same time, sand about 25 percent and 50 percent gravel are put into concrete mixer. Afterwards, 10 percent of water is poured into all the materials. Finally, concrete mixer blend all of the materials and produce the concrete cement. *

Ifra, congratulations on writing an essay that could quite possibly score a 7 in an actual setting. Your paper is quite coherent, creates and understandable discussion, and clearly represents the diagram illustration. You have a clear grasp of the English language at, perhaps, an intermediate level which has helped you write this essay on a more clarified level. Although there are some instances where the wrong terms were used or the word was misspelled here and there, these errors were not serious enough to dent your rating in this essay. I would suggest that you continue doing whatever it is you are doing in terms of reviewing and improving your English skills. If I am to base your skills on this essay alone, I could say that you have the potential to improve your skills to the point where you may get more than just a passing grade in the actual test.