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The summary section is not complete. The summary should be composed of at least 3 sentences. It is never acceptable to present only a single sentence in that section as it represents a run-on sentence and will decrease the GRA scores of the essay. The fact that the paragraphs range from 2-3 sentence per paragraph already indicate a severe sentence structuring problem for the writer. He is severely reliant on commas and run-on sentences for his presentation which will decrease his C+C and result in additional GRA deductions along the way. The main problem with the student is not his understanding of the image. It is the fact that he is incapable of properly writing in simple, complex, and compound sentences. These are the expected sentence mixes in this task and that is what should be reflected in the writing. Without it, the essay may not receive a passing score. | Holt | Oct 31, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/retail-stores-opened-shut-down-cam-test-93768/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
***buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular.***
## Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?
Daily online purchases for basic necessities have proven its popularity over time, which has both merits and demerits critically analyzed in this essay.
On the one hand, shopping on websites is time-efficient. A plethora of applications and media provide customers with a boundless range of choices worldwide at a click of a mouse. In addition, online purchases allow for deliveries at a reasonable cost, so there is no need for users to deal with traffic and traveling expenses. Another captivating bright side of e-commerce stores is that people are able to attain an overall impression on the products that they care about based on former users' feedback and reviews, which assists in navigating the purchase towards the right decision. This indicates that shopping on the Internet also saves a fortune due to lower chances of throwaway. Afterwards, going shopping on websites is advantageous.
On the other hand, shopping through e-commerce platforms could exert detrimental impacts on the environment as the demand for shipment would increase followed by packaging. This could result in waste of tonnes of cardboxes, aluminum and, to make it even worse, plastic. Although the process of 3 Rs might be involved to alleviate the amount of the discarded, it still costs more effort and financial loss compared to waste produced by direct purchases. Besides, the convenience of shopping on the Internet comes along with a greater risk of privacy loss. To be more specific, the fact that we could receive instant access to the products that we are interested in on almost any website derives from trading of users' information. Consequently, the thriving e-commerce business brings about considerable drawbacks.
To sum up, the phenomenon is a two-bladed sword. If customers are to benefit, they should make the most use of the upsides and support the environmentally-conscious retailers in order to lighten the negative influences. | tuyetmai2182004 | Oct 31, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/daily-online-purchases-basic-necessities-93767/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The writer has not responded properly to the question. There is a single opinion that must be defended in this representation in relation to the direct question provided in the prompt. That qestion is:
DO THE ADVANTAGES OF SHOPPING IN THIS WAY OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES?
Seeing the format of the question, it does not lend itself to a comparison discussion that shows the merits and demerits of both sides. Rather, the writer must indicate a support for one clear opinion. Without that clear opinion in support of one of the two sides, the essay will be scored based on a lack of clear opinion in relation to the given question. There was no "compare both sides" part of the instruction for the discussion to merit even a partial scoring consideration.
In terms of task response and relevance, the essay has failed. That lack of proper representation as is relevant to the question means that no matter how well he believes he has discussed the topic, his prompt deviation and lack of relevant response will lead to a final failing score. That is regardless of his performance in the scoring sections.
The correct response is: The merits ( or demerit depending on the writer's choice) of this shopping method outweighs the merits/ demerits (writer's choice) based on 2 reasons. First, (Indicate Reason 1). Second, (Indicate reason 2). | Holt | Oct 31, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/daily-online-purchases-basic-necessities-93767/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Please give me some feedbacks. Thank a lot!
## traditional teaching is stilll important
Giving lectures in auditoriums to large numbers of students is an old way of teaching. With the technology available today there is no justification for it, and everything should be done online. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.
Some people think that lecturing in a large auditorium to students is an old fashion way of teaching and instead we should replace it with online teaching. This essay disagree with this statement and believes traditional teaching still has its own place. The essay will discuss the advantages of traditional teaching which are helping students get answers directly from teachers and increasing their attention.
Unlike online teaching, face-to-face study gives the student a chance to get answers directly from the teachers. Normally in an online class, the teachers can not pay enough attention to every single student as they are in a traditional class. Consequently, students may struggle with knowledge and have many unanswered questions in their heads, causing gaps in their knowledge. For example, VTV, the national broadcast tv of Viet Nam, 83 out of 100 students said they have problems with asking teachers to reply to their questions in the online class and this consequently degrades their marks.
Another advantage of face-to-face teaching is the increase in the attention of students. Because they are gathered in a closed room and are regulated and pressured by the teacher, students have to be more concentrated. Furthermore, being focused helps students study more effective and achieve higher educational results. For instance, a recent study by NEU reported that students who study face-to-face focus 30% more than those who study online.
In conclusion, traditional teaching still plays an important role. Particularly in the ability of answer face-to-face to the students and increase their attention. | Laminate | Oct 30, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/giving-lectures-auditoriums-large-numbers-93760/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
With only 252 words in this essay, it meets the word minimum requirement but not the full scoring considerations for various sections. There needs to be at least 275-300 words put down to achieve that. The only plus point of this word count is that it will not meet deductions for under word writing.
Since the writer is being asked to discuss the measure of his personal opinion, the essay should not be devoid of first person pronoun usage. Rather, it should be heavily present. The essay will not write itself so never say
The essay will discuss
. You are the writer. Own it.
Now, for the actual reason this essay will receive a failing mark. The prompt deviation that the writer created. Did he misunderstand the writing instruction
To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.
? Which is why he incorrectly responded with
The essay will discuss the advantages of traditional teaching...
The incorrect response statement will result in an irrelevant response score (failing).
I cannot proceed with reviewing the essay at this point. There is no sense in reviewing a failing essay from the start. | Holt | Oct 30, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/giving-lectures-auditoriums-large-numbers-93760/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## police budget 2017-2018
The provided pie charts and table show the sources and distribution of money in a particular police department in the U.K in the two years of 2017 and 2018.
Overall, an upward trend can be discerned in the budget, and Technology's share of funds increased while that of Salaries dipped.
With respect to how the police were funded, a total of 318.6 million pounds was allocated to the department in 2018, up from 304.7 million pounds the year before. In addition, the amount of money funded by National Government and other sources saw sizable increases of 10 and 2.3 million pounds respectively. In contrast, the rise in funding from local taxes was relatively minor, coming at only 0.5 million pounds.
With regard to budgetary allocation, while the percentage of money spent on Buildings and Transport remained constant at 17% from 2017 to 2018, the remainder experienced change. First, compared with 2017, spending on Technology accounted for a bigger portion of the budget in 2018 . Funds allotted for Salaries, however, dropped slightly to 69% from 75% in the same time span.
181 words
Thank you, in advance, so much for your time and efforts to correct my essay. Have a nice weekend :)
* | StarShallRise | Oct 30, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/police-department-sources-funding-93757/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The current summary overview is confusing in terms of reference. Yes, the images were properly identified. That was good. However, the identity separation for the images, the required image titles /identifiers were missing from the presentation. As such, the summary overview became confusing due to lack of reference clarity. next time, identify which image goes with what data. Sadly, the confusion trickled down to the also confusing trending reference.
The reports themselves could use more clarity and properly formatted comparisons. Remember that there are 3 images present. This indicates the need for a 4 paragraph reporting and comparison essay. Preciseness is scored in this essay. By shortening the applicable paragraphs, the essay has less clarity and misses out on additional scoring considerations. | Holt | Oct 30, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/police-department-sources-funding-93757/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
***The life expectancy of the modern people has been expanded, this is the positive of modern medical care***
## Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
here is my answer:
In this day and age, there has been an expansion of lifespan among modern individuals by dint of advancements in medical discipline. In this essay, merits and demerits of this change will be thoroughly delineated before reaching the conclusion.
On the one hand, humans possessing a longevity confers manifold profits. First and foremost, it affords elderly more opportunities to get involve in a great variety of hobbies and recreational activities which could not have been done before retirement due to their preoccupation with work. As a result, they can relish a fulfilling old age. Further, the younger generation can accumulate more handy life experience from the old people with seniority. Accordingly, some dreadful vicissitudes in many aspects such as daily life or business can be deterred thanks to that knowledge.
On the other hand, life extension, albeit offering particular positives, might entail certain ramifications. Firstly, old individuals run the elevated risk of contracting old age diseases such as diabetes or cardiovascular. As a consequence, there will be an overdue monetary burden on these people and their family. Besides, a long human lifespan obviously results in an overpopulation, which is a contributory factor to the natural resources depletion. Consequently, environmental problems such as pollution or global warming will be exacerbated. Another issue is that retirement age is likely to be increased thereby an increasing number of cut-throat competitions in the labour market especially for the youth.
All things considered, the upsides of longevity are eclipsed by its downsides. Nevertheless, efficacious measures can be implemented by policy makers to ameliorate aforementioned matters. | alicexan318 | Oct 29, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/life-expectancy-modern-people-93754/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The writer has not taken the correct approach to this discussion. Not only does he fail to provide a thesis based writer's opinion, he also does not provide the correct reasoning format.
Let us start with with the writer's opinion. As there is a direct question being asked, a direct response with reasoning basis must be provided. Since the preliminary TA score includes a clear reference to the writer's opinion is necessary. A mere repetition of the writing instruction cannot be scored as it does not relate an opinion to the examiner. He will be forced to apply preliminary TA score deductions because the writer did not provide a clear opinion basis at the very start.
Now, getting to the actual discussion format. I say that the discussion is unacceptable because the proper topic comparisons where not accomplished in the paragraphs. For this essay, the writer must provide conflicting reasons for an advantage that is a disadvantage, or vice versa. In truth, a full review of the discussion further proves that the writer does not have a single acceptable opinion of the discussion. The conflicting reason I have mentioned is in reference to the reasons that the writer uses to disprove or prove one opinion over the other. That task was never met in this discussion.
By improperly approaching the task requirements, the writer will not meet the passing standards for the task. He will fail in the TA and C + C sections. | Holt | Oct 29, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/life-expectancy-modern-people-93754/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## Physical activity in Australia
(Writing task 1) The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.
The bar chart gives information about the proportion of men and woman of different age groups in Australia got regularly physical activity in 2010. Overall it is clear that the rates of women who did regular physical activity were higher than man in almost age groups.
in the age group of 15 to 24, there was 52.8% male citizens got physical activitay regularly (higher than female 5.1%), follow by 46.7% of 65 and over, 45.1% of 55 to 64, 43.1% of 45 to 54, 42.2% of 25 to 34 and 39.5% of 35 to 44. As can be seen in 2010, young Australian men were more physically active than middle-aged and older men.
Regarding the data of women, the percentage of women did exercise from 35 to 44, 45 to 54 and 55 to 64 were 52.5 %, 53.3% and 53% respectively, significantly higher than the male's index. But in the age group of 15 to 24, the proportion of male was higher than female, and the proportion of female 65 and over was 47.1%, more than male 0.4% only. | NTDimaria | Oct 10, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/physical-activity-australia-93684/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
A paragraph is always composed of at least 3 sentences. The summary overview does not meet this minimum requirement. There should be at least one more sentence indicating the age ranges being compared, as well as the measurement representation prior to the trending statement. That said, the trending statement is general enough to not need any actual measurement references. It was developed well enough to deliver the overall comparison of the image presented.
The second paragraph tends to confuse the reader as the writer relied heavily on measurement presentations without using clear separators or image references to the percentages presented. These resulted in incoherent paragraphs and a confusing overall paragraph presentations. Expect large C+C and GRA deductions because of these problems. Try to add a little bit more description next time. Simply relaying the information provided is not enough. There needs to be clear reports and comparisons based on proper sentence structures and paragraph format presentations. The third paragraph was a little better developed and presented but could still have been better presented with the proper formatting and creative writing considerations. | Holt | Oct 10, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/physical-activity-australia-93684/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
You should phrase topic
You shouldn't show any data. you should concentrate outstanding point. | lequy1209 | Oct 10, 2022 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/physical-activity-australia-93684/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
-For the overview, I think it would be more clear if there was one sentence refering about the tendency of age groups in the activity (e.g: which age group mainly enjoys doing physical activity)
-In terms of the categories, using specific name to paraphrase the age groups (e.g: the group "15 to 24" can be paraphrased to "teenagers and young adults") might reduce the confusion when there are so many numbers in the paragraph. | AnnaDao | Oct 10, 2022 | 3 | https://essayforum.com/writing/physical-activity-australia-93684/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
HI,
I think you can think about the structure when jogging down your answers.
For the IELTS writing task 1, you should have at least three paragraphs.
The first paragraph you have to paraphrase the following questions and try to put more information in the chart or graph you have seen.
The second paragraph should be the overall concept. I would suggest you to build a clear paragraphs, so the readers can directly get to your point.
The third or fourth paragraph should contain more detailed information from the chart. | segrid15 | Oct 10, 2022 | 4 | https://essayforum.com/writing/physical-activity-australia-93684/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The overall section should be clearer with trends, the group with highest figure and lowest figures.
You should replace range of ages by specific terms. | nataliely | Oct 10, 2022 | 5 | https://essayforum.com/writing/physical-activity-australia-93684/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## a report for a university lecturer describing the shown information
The bar chart shows the percentage of children ranging from 5 to 14 years old in Australia who took part in five different leisure activities, including skateboarding and rollerblading, bike riding, watching TV or videos, electronic and computing games, and art and craft.
Overall, boys and girls stay most actively watching TV or videos, which earned a 100 percent participation rate for leisure activities. However, skateboarding and rollerblading have the least engagement for boys and girls. Only 40 percent of 5 to 14 years old boys and 30 percent of girls participate in skateboarding and rollerblading.
There are 80 percent of boys and 60 percent of girls select electronic and computer games for their leisure activities, followed by 70 percent of boys and 60 percent of girls taking part in bike riding. While it is interesting that girls are more interested in art and craft than boys, which gets 55 percent of girls and 40 percent of boys participated in leisure activities.
*
*Bar chart* | segrid15 | Oct 28, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/children-activities-australia-bar-chart-93744/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The summary overview is going to receive a failing GRA score due to the improper information presentation. Avoid the use of run-on sentences in this section. The summary overview should be comprised of at least 3 but no more than 5 sentences. Each sentence should represent one information set from the graph. In this case, the sentences should have been divided into:
Sentence 1: The subject of the image
Sentence 2: The age range provided
Sentence 3: The activities listed
Sentence 4: Measurement criteria used
Sentence 5: Trending statement
These separations will help clearly define the content of the image and the important, short form of the provided information. This will make the section scannable and well within the scoring considerations for the TA score of a task 1 essay. Additionally, the summary overview is missing a proper trending sentence. While the word "overall" is often used to represent the trending reference, the fact that it was made a part of the reporting section was an incorrect writing format for the essay. The trending statement is always included in the summary overview as this is a shortened form of the overall reporting task. | Holt | Oct 28, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/children-activities-australia-bar-chart-93744/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
In the overall sentence, please don't provide specific information (figures).
Providing more about patterns in the overall section. | nataliely | Oct 28, 2022 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/children-activities-australia-bar-chart-93744/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## commercial honey production
The linear small-scale commercial manufacture of honey is illustrated in the given diagram.
Overall, the production is comprised of various stages divided into two phases, commencing with bee collecting nectar and ceasing with the despatch of rearmost outcome to consumption areas, which is done by human being.
In greater detail, the first stage of the bee phase is that bees collect nectar from found flowers, whereupon it is brought to a beehive where they deposit honey. Over the following step, the honey is desiccated on the surface of every comb. In the final stage of the bee phase, the bees renders the cell clean with the assistance of fan wings prior to sealing them with wax.
As far as the remaining steps is concerned, the yield of honey continues with the first step of the human phase when honey combs are thoroughly gathered. The collected combs are thereupon flattened. No sooner is the raw honey efficaciously extracted than it is poured into sump tank in order to make it be heated at the temperature of 45 to 50 degrees Celcius. Subsequently, it is transferred to a sieve tank where the dirt is withdrawn from the honey prior to the conveyance of honey to settling tanks where it is stored for two to four days. Finally, after being packed in discrete jars, the merchandise is transported and ready to be commerced.
*
*Task 1* | namk | Oct 29, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/diagram-shows-honey-made-small-scale-93752/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The writer must be conscious of the 20 minute limitation on the completion of this essay. He cannot write more than 200 words for this without cutting into his task 2 writing time, which he really would not want to do. My advice is that he learns to time himself when writing using the proper exam setting. That is:
1. Outline
2. Draft
3. Revise
4. Finalize
Only when he writes using the correct process will he learn how many words he can write within 20 minutes. It is important that the quality of the paper be better and more focused on his part rather than the word count. A long essay just opens the writer up to more errors and score deductions.
I will be the first to admit that the essay is well written and properly developed. The problem is that it contains too many words for this task. Therefore, writing quality will be an issue for him once the timed test takes place. Only by learning to write quickly and concisely can he achieve a good passing score for this test. | Holt | Oct 29, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/diagram-shows-honey-made-small-scale-93752/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## the significance of intelligence in leadership
The leader is the most important position in every organization. Some people think that intelligence is the most crucial factor of leadership. From a personal perspective, I partly agree with this statement because a good leader has talent and many soft skills.
On the one hand, intelligence is essential for a headman. People are fluent in their job at the company which leads to them easily getting management positions in the department because they fully understand every task of their team. Moreover, the staff perform their work better than others, that helps them get their's boss attention. It also contributes to making them notable when the company considers a new manager. To elucidate, research performed by California University in 2020 demonstrated that talented people effortlessly get higher positions in every organisation.
On the other hand, soft skills are also crucial for leadership positions. Besides managers are good at their field, but they still need communication and motivation skills that help them direct their employees more effectively. The workers are able to complete their tasks in a good way with the boss's enthusiastic instructions. In addition, when the staff have difficult circumstances, they can easily overcome them thanks to their boss's motivation ability. To demonstrate, Steve Jobs is a former chief executive officer of Apple who always inspired his employees to think in a creative way to create the best technological devices for the world.
To sum it up, talent is essential for leaders, but soft skills make them successful. In my opinion, the school not only teaches their students to be good at their major but should train many interpersonal skills to the learners. | pomtal | Oct 29, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/intelligence-important-component-leadership-93751/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
There are 2 immediate problems with the restatement and opinion paragraph. The first is the irrelevant first sentence that does not connect with the original topic in any way. This is only a 2 sentence paragraph. One topic restatement then the writer's opinion. The second problem is the measured response format to the question when a direct and unmeasured response is required. Both errors will result in early deductions for the exam taker.
These early errors led to the incorrect discussion paragraphs. Rather than the expected single openion reasoning paragraphs, a comparative discussion was used. There is a high possibility that the essay will fail as it did not provide the correct opinion and discussion response throughout the essay. | Holt | Oct 29, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/intelligence-important-component-leadership-93751/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## learning everything from the internet
Nowadays a range of things can be done in the internet, which is an integral part of everyone's life. And I completely agree this is the best way of learning everything that person are interested in.
Firstly, internet gives the opportunity to learn a new language or even several ones at the same time. There is a huge number of different apps and websites, where we are able to watch educational videos and then do some exercises to keep all information in mind. In addition, due to the internet people can find a tutor, with whom they will learn the language faster and this way is more efficient since they will have conversations with a person, who has already known it.
Secondly, internet is a great place to receive knowledge about playing a musical instrument. It can be done via electronic books which include everything connected with music. Moreover, it is possible to have online lessons that give the opportunity to learn how to play a particular musical instrument in every corner of the world.
Thirdly, information about cooking can be find in the internet. It has various forums, where people tell others their stories of becoming cookers. Besides, there are a lot of recipes of mouth-watering dishes and tips how to cook properly.
To sum up, living in the twenty first century people are able to learn things from the internet, instead of going somewhere, which will exactly save their time. | thatkrisss | Oct 29, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/fce-people-say-using-internet-best-way-93750/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
There is a specific way of discussing an FCE essay. It has to do with specific topic considerations provided as a part of the discussion instructions. I do not believe that I can properly assess this essay based on the scoring considerations without it. That said, I can offer a general review for this essay.
The essay does not really separate itself in terms of the general and personal discussion points. The fourth paragraph should lend itself to a personal discussion but I do not see that happening here. It is mostly geared towards the generalized discussion alone. Opinion clarity may be a problem. Grammar issues in relation to sentence presentations are also very noticeable. Anchor sentences are not effectively used either but transition words are well used. Next time try to use more transition phrases. | Holt | Oct 29, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/fce-people-say-using-internet-best-way-93750/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## Sports Betting
The legalization of sports betting has created a buzz in the sports world, and many people have been buying into the prospect of 'winning big'. With more and more states deciding to legalize sports betting, it goes to question if this growth within the sports betting world is truly beneficial to society. The biggest draw to sports betting, and any betting for that matter, is that desire to hopefully benefit financially, however many fail to realize the future implications that it can have on an individual's life if not done safely. The sports leagues and other businesses will side with legalization, since at its root it will benefit them greatly, increasing their revenues and overall popularity. As a society, especially for younger individuals, having an understanding and being aware of the risks and potential implications are key in helping future generations not to fall into the addictive desire that comes with sports betting. Overall, this will continue to help raise revenue of businesses and sports leagues, but it will also hurt society if we don't take necessary steps to combat addiction and improper betting habits.
The sports betting industry took a major milestone in 2018, when the Supreme Court decided to legalize betting in states beyond Nevada. A total of 33 states are legal betting states, a number that is expected to increase within the next 5 years. According to a research study done by the American Gaming Association, during the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic an estimated $1.5 billion was generated in sports betting revenue in the U.S, a number that was up 69% compared to 2019 (Schapiro). The increased legalization around the country has seen sports betting apps like FanDuel and DraftKings making an increased effort to get consumers logging into and using their apps. Major sporting events like the Super Bowl are able to create interest, through the use of marketing and advertisements. During the 2021 Super Bowl, it was reported that the betting app DraftKings spent a total of $7 million dollars to air two 15 second ads during the live broadcast (Fischer). The first ad showcased a leather-clad spokescharacter called the "Goddess of
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Fortune'', promoting a free $1 million bet. The second showed spokeswoman Jessie Coffield speaking about a free fourth quarter prediction challenge, where viewers were able to guess a certain outcome during the game. In all of 2021, DraftKings spent a total of $981 million in sales and marketing costs. This increased effort has seen revenue skyrocket for these apps. DraftKings made a total of $1.30 billion, more than 100% increase from the year prior. A quote by Dustin Gouker of the Legal Sports Report, a publication that regularly covers sports betting, stated, "It feels like there's been a tipping point in the last year where sports betting feels a part of the sports consciousness" (Fischer).
The major sports leagues like the NFL, NBA, MLB, and NHL, have all greatly seen the benefits that sports betting has had on business and growth. With betting, increased fan engagement and viewership are two factors that have greatly increased. According to the PwC report, "more than $4 billion in additional annual revenue will be generated for the four major sports leagues in the U.S due to increased fan engagement and viewership as a direct result of the court ruling (legalization of sports betting). Sponsorship, ticket sales, merchandising and media rights will be impacted by the appetite of sports gamblers in the United States, projecting growth at a 3 percent compound annual rate until 2022" (Andrews). This article was written in 2018, and the expected outcomes were accurate. In 2021, the NFL generated a total of $17.2 billion compared to $13.68 billion in 2017, before the legalization of sports betting. This continued rise in revenue will allow sports leagues to continue to grow and boost popularity.
As mentioned previously, accessibility is one of the many reasons why sports betting has seen an increase in popularity. With the age of social media, information is easily passed in a matter of seconds. Sports betting apps have been able to use the technologies today to increase popularity and growth. A research study conducted by Emily Deans, a research strategy and
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design coordinator at Youth Solutions, sought to observe the influence marketing and social media has on encouraging young individuals to partake in online sports betting. Deans interviewed individuals aged between 20 and 30, asking them four questions: How do marketing mechanisms seek to create a cultural alignment between betting and sports? Is there evidence that marketing strategies may be influencing new betting "identities" associated with sports? Do specific forms of promotions encourage young men to gamble more frequently and on events that they would not otherwise bet on? Are there specific strategies that may have the potential to reduce or prevent the risks or harms posed by the marketing for these products? What was found was that the most common medium that drew the most influence was television ads during regular scheduled programming and sports programming. An interesting find within this study was that individuals also viewed sports betting as "accepted" or "normal", that many people at that age were doing it and that exposure to marketing ads "desensitized" their viewpoint on betting (Deans). Another interesting finding within the study stated that, "some young men felt trapped by the amount of marketing for sports betting products" (Deans).
Another study similar to Deans conducted by Darragh McGee, a lecturer at the University of Bath in the UK, sought to also observe how sports betting has become part of culture for young adult men aged 20 to 30. The findings were similar to Deans, there were common themes that were presented based on the data: betting was seen as a normalized aspect of sport fandom, the role of mobile app technologies in the proliferation of sports gambling, the impact of incentivisation strategies and in-play promotional offers on gambling behaviors, and one point that I found interesting, sports gambling could potentially be considered a 'gateway' to other problems (McGee). Betting in general is all about risk, and what you are willing to risk. Many people, specifically younger people, will be drawn to the desire to win big. However, in order to
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win big, risking big is usually what is required. The common theme for many who struggle with this is that they are all trying to gain back what they lost. An individual who was a part of the study stated that, "I checked the tool that tells you how much you've bet over a six month period. I'd staked £41,000. I was working a minimum wage job not even clearing £15,000, and I was able to do that online in just six months. After that, you think maybe I can become a master gambler so I could sack in work at the call center" (McGee). Essentially, sports betting and the stigma of it have become very commonplace in today's age, more and more people are becoming exposed to it because of the legalization and growth it has seen over the past few years.
Addiction and other unhealthy tendencies unfortunately stem from individuals who don't practice proper sports betting habits. In Rich Schapiro's article, "Sports betting skyrocketed in pandemic. Experts warn of a 'ticking time bomb", he interviews a few indivduals who went over board and experienced great loss and various other problems when it came to over betting. In an interview with an individual, who requested anonymity out of fear his identity could wind up costing his job, who struggled with betting spoke on his struggle with the addictive nature that came with betting. This individual lived a good life: wife, kids, Fortune 500 job. However during the COVID-19 pandemic, since he was stuck at home like many others, sports betting became his vice. Throwing away money became common, to a point where this individual had to take out four high interest loans and clean out his retirement plan in order just to break back to even. The interviewee stated, "I'm so ashamed of myself, I cry at night. I can barely look at my daughter. I can barely look at my wife" (Schapiro).
Another article written by Marie Fazio in the New York Times spoke on how easy it is for individuals to be sucked in and trapped into the world of sports betting. She interviewed Saul Malek, an individual who struggled with a sports betting addiction. Malek, a big sports fan,
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started betting in college and recounted that his first win made him feel like a "big shot". This excitement unfortunately caused him to "chase that feeling again". The article stated that, "he never considered that sports betting could escalate to an addiction that would lead him to lie, cheat, and manipulate people for money" (Fazio). And unfortunately for Malek, he had to learn the hard way. Although there are efforts to increase awareness of the dangers of betting, it seems that it is failing to reach individuals, specifically the younger generation. The most common demographic for sports bettors are individuals under the age of 35, single, educated and employed or just beginning their careers. And in terms of different individuals who bet, a study done by the National Council on Problem Gambling found that the most problematic gamblers are sports bettors (Fazio). For those who bet in college, about 6 percent of students have a gambling problem, which unfortunately also causes other problems like psychological difficulties, debt, and poor performance in school (Fazio). Dr. Fong, a director of the Gambling Studies Program at UCLA states that young adults are at risk of developing a gambling problem if there is a family history of gambling. The need for programs and outlets in order to treat individuals with gambling problems has unfortunately been outpaced, causing a lack of these resources to be offered. Within the last two years, the need for treatment for gambling problems has more than doubled according to Rick Benson, the founder of the Algamus Gambling Recovery Center in Arizona (Fazio). Unfortunately, topics like addiction to drugs, alchohol, and sex are common in schools and concersations wthin households. However, betting addiction is something that is rarely discussed. This can lead to the underestimation of the addictive nature that comes with sports betting and other forms of it.
Although individuals will greatly benefit from programs and services that combat betting addiction, more resources need to be offered in a way that not only appeals to individuals, but
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also can convince the public that it is okay to seek help. Because of the cultural aspect, many will believe that there is no problem with the addictive habits that are attached to betting, because if everyone is doing something then there is no problem or reason as to seek help. In a study done by Robey Champine, an assistant professor in the Department of Family Medicine and Division of Public Health at Michigan State University, he found that individuals who sought treatment from psychologists were 60% more likely to recover and eventually rid themselves of addictive habits that came with betting. It is important for individuals to also realize that sports betting is not a free of risk thing that anyone can do, it should be taken with some seriousness, especially if an individual is one to be easily hooked onto something. The way sports betting is marketed is like a game without risk, however it is just the opposite.
In order to fight the addictive tendencies that are attached to sports betting, it is important to first admit that there is in fact a problem. Many people will deny they have a problem, or worse don't even realize what they are doing is a problem. If someone relies on sports betting in order to feel some type of happiness, or depends on it to make financial gains, then seeking help for these issues would be beneficial. Many people who do sports bet are constantly wired in, surrounding most of their days constantly checking odd changes and different bets they can make in order to gain the most money. Avoiding this temptation and trying to limit the use of gambling apps or the desire to tune into sports broadcasts can also help. Joining a support group or seeking help and speaking to someone trustworthy is another way to talk about your problem in a healthy way. Speaking with people who also share the same problems, and who share the same story can also help in creating a positive mind and hopefully can lead to closure if dealing with guilt. Finding alternative activities that an individual can replace with sports betting is one way to shift focus and gravitate to other things that are worth your time.
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The sports betting industry is on the rise, and will continue to grow over the next few years. The revenue will continue to grow, and the popularity of sport will continue to drive individuals to tune in and eventually start betting. Financially, the sports leagues will benefit the most, increasing revenue year after year with the increased popularity. The sports betting apps will also benefit financially, with more and more people using the apps in hopes to win. Unfortunately, the main culprit will always be the consumer, in that there is more risk for them to lose than to win. That is why implementing proper programs and resources to combat this are important. The most important thing is trying to create a culture that sees sports betting addiction on the same level as drug or substance addiction. It is a real problem that needs to be addressed so that it doesn't further harm society. The implications of sports betting outweigh whatever pros that have been addressed. An individual's life is more important than that of any satisfaction there is in winning a bet on a NBA or NFL game. | martinc2 | Oct 29, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/sports-betting-argumentative-93749/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
When referring to the Supreme Court decision in 2018, do not forget to die the case record including the plaintiff and defendant. A more extensive discussion of the basis of the lawsuit and factors affecting the final decision should be a part of the discussion presentation. Who sued who and why. It will also be wise to mention a few of the states that already have legalized sports betting and some of the new players. Just to complete the discussion premise at the start.
The full paper sounds too much like the presentation is just a cut and paste of various related information. The paper relies too heavily on research from others. For a more effective argumentative essay, the writer must consider doing his own surveys using an anonymous pool, identified by certain considerations within the paper. That would remove the heavy direct quotes from the paper that make the paper seem less original to the reader.
\*Limited review provided due to paper length. Contact us perinatal for comprehensive review services. Thank you. | Holt | Oct 29, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/sports-betting-argumentative-93749/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## the problem of obesity
In today's world, it is undeniable that obese disease becomes more and more popular with many people globally. This essay will explore the sources of this issue along with some possible solutions to it.
Chief among the causes of this problem is the lack of exercise. Today's young people are more prone to glue eyes to social media, games and types of movies in leisure time instead of joining sport activities. This can be a contribution to having a sedentary life and the redundant fat or calories which can not be burned in the body. Perhaps the most effective method would be for each individual to establish a timeline for playing sports, which would assist people maintain a healthy lifestyle and have a beautiful figure.
Another contributing factor is the unbalanced diet of the majority of young people these days. That is to say, most of them ordinarily have an excess of fat and sugary food, which can be a precursor for superfluous calories in the body and gaining weight. One possible approach would be for the government to restrict the production of fast food and encourage people supplementing more fiber-rich things in daily meals.
In conclusion, obesity has become a prevalent disease in many countries due to evident reasons such as the lack of exercise and the inconsequential diet. This problem is potentially more serious if people can put the effective methods into practice. I believe that significant efforts from each person and the government are necessary to reverse the trend. | Tranthitragiang | Oct 28, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/reasons-rise-obesity-tackle-93745/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
When reading the restatement and writer's opinion, the examiner will see that the writer does not fully grasp the word meaning being used in the original. He will lower the LR score for the paragraph because the disease is obesity while the person suffering from the illness is known as obese. There is clear incorrect word usage in the presentation that affected the effectivity of the restatement.
As for the writer's opinion, which is part of the base scoring, there is none presented so the writer will receive a failing score for that consideration. The examiner does not need to know what the discussion instructions are. He already knows those. What he needs to know, is the opinion of the writer in relation to the questions being asked. If this were an academic paper, it would fail for not clearly stating the thesis or basis of the discussion. Where are the reasons? The questions have already been asked. Respond in 2 sentences. One for every question as a part of the prompt restatement. Create the discussion points based on the questions provided by giving answers, rather than just repeating the questions.
Do not say something is "undeniable" when it is not part of the original discussion topic nor when it is not asked in the prompt. That is a change in the slant of the discussion that resulted in a topic deviant restatement. It will result in additional point deductions in the TA score since the writer is not correctly restating the given topic.
The opening paragraph alone already assures this essay of starting with a preliminary failing score. That is a problem when the essay is very short and limited in writing skills presentation. This essay should be at least 275 words so that the examiner can have more room to judge the rest of the scoring rubic for application.
Good work on the discussion paragraphs. The blended cause and solution presentation is exactly what the discussion format requires. However, the same cannot be said for the concluding summary as it mistakenly indicates a confusing sentence:
This problem is potentially more serious if people can put the effective methods into practice.
The correct term is "cannot" instead of "can". The reference should be that of an inability to successfully implement a solution. | Holt | Oct 28, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/reasons-rise-obesity-tackle-93745/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## **Ielts Writing Task 2 Question:**
*Some people think the news has no connection to people's lives.* *So then it is a waste of time to read the newspaper and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?*
Some people believe that newspapers and TV programs are pointless because news is irrelevant to people's lives. I could contend that the broadcasts today are developed their content that attracts and responds to acquisitions and demands of the audiences in all aspects, delivering news reports to the public transiently.
From my perspective, it would be wrong to refuse the integral role of broadcasts in connecting audiences with news and facts. Radio and TV programs provide information about everyday occurrences globally through diverse communicative transports. Take the COVID-19 pandemic as an example, during the period of social isolation, people who continuously pay attention to this dangerous disease by following and updating day-by-day information about the fatality, the positive cases, and new exposure-related zones can protect themselves from its contagion. In contrast, residents who outlook this news were vulnerable to this infectious disease.
In my opinion, news and TV programs are not only means of updating happenings, but also the governments can utilize this kind of social transmission to inform and spread laws, and national policies throughout their countries. Therefore, viewers can access these principles and obligations, enhancing their awareness and knowledge of this elusive information easier. For example, medical warnings, state settlements, and grant support are deployed and negotiated to citizens during the COVID-19 pandemic, so they can expand their understanding and obey the treatment and isolated rules.
In conclusion, I believe that spending time and money on all kinds of news and TV programs is worthwhile and necessary to contribute to promoting quality of life. | imdduongg267 | Oct 28, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/believe-newspapers-programs-pointless-93743/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The main score reduction will occur in this essay not due to the irrelevancy of the discussion because the reasoning paragraphs are on track, but from the way that the response format does not deliver the expected answer foundation. In this case, the foundation of the response should be based on the measured response of the writer. Please note the specific writing response instruction: *To what extent do you agree or disagree?* The writer never responded in a manner that would indicate a proper and clear response to this question. He implies that he agrees with the given opinion, but does not clearly state it as required. Thus the response is incomplete and, in this case, inaccurate.
Reasoning is acceptable in both paragraph however, just like the first paragraph, the way that the writer indicates his explanations are difficult and confusing the understand. The sentences often lack subject clarity within the presentation. He often uses fragmented sentences and run on presentations that will surely reduce his GRA score to a great extent. Leaving this essay in danger of receiving a failing score based on 2 problem points. | Holt | Oct 28, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/believe-newspapers-programs-pointless-93743/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## the popular use of informal written language
Nowadays, it is common to see that written language is used in a more informal and relaxed way. This phenomenon happens due to some certain reasons, and it may lead to more drawbacks than benefits.
On the one hand, people choose to use informal written language because of two main factors. Firstly, it is time-saving. The traditional and formal language in writing requires the appropriate vocabularies and standard structures which are grammatically correct like spelling, form, etc.This process takes a large amount of time. However, less formal written language can help to save time with the use of abbreviations or symbols. Secondly, informal written language is preferably used to lessen the formality in some contexts like friends and relatives' communication. The way people use the writing style also expresses their intimacy to others, so with close relationships, people often want to be comfortable and relaxing when communicating.
On the other hand, the less formal style in writing seems to have more disadvantages. The first one is that it is not suitable to apply in business contexts. Business is a field requiring a polite and formal style in written papers, especially in contracts or reports. Using informal language can show your unprofessional skills, which can affect your job or further promotion. Furthermore, for students, the use of less formal style in academic writing tests can affect their performance or results. It is clear that in academic writing, informal language is unacceptable, so students will be marked down for using abbreviations, slangs or jarks as informal language.
In conclusion, time-saving and formality reduction are main reasons for the popular use of informal written language. However, people should consider carefully to avoid unfortunate drawbacks. | phuong132001 | Oct 27, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/people-use-written-language-formal-way-93738/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
There are 3 responses that need to be addressed by the first paragraph. As listed, these scoring requirements are:
Sentence 1: Restatement of the topic
Sentence 2: A listing of the reasons (at least 2)
Sentence 3: A listing of the disadvantages
All 3 sentences must be presented to meet the full scoring requirements of the accuracy score. This score is based on the ability of the student to clearly establish a version of the discussion topic based upon the original presentation and questions provided. The current version does not establish the required clarity of the paragraph.
Since the questions direct to different topic questions, there cannot be a comparison reference provided. It is not proper to use "On the one hand" and "on the other hand" since there are 2 different query topics being discussed. There are times when connecting phrases are required for discussion paragraphs and, there are times when topic sentences are needed to start each paragraph. In such instances, transition sentences at the end of the first reasoning paragraph will be more useful as a transition point. An example of this would be: "While informal language can be used within familiar settings, these cannot be used in a business setting and therefore, proves to be a disadvantage in such a scenario." Then the second reasoning paragraph can proceed using the anchor topic for the disadvantage discussion since was already established in the transition sentence. | Holt | Oct 27, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/people-use-written-language-formal-way-93738/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## tourists in scotland who visited four different attractions
*The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to Scotland who visited four different attractions in Edinburgh.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.*
The line graph indicates the proportion of tourists who visited 4 different destinations in Edinburgh over the period of 30 years from 1980 to 2010.
Overall, the number of travelers enjoying Castle made up for nearly a half of the total during the survey's years. While the figure of Aquarium was relatively modest.
In 1980, the percentage of tourists going to the zoo was only 10%. After that, undergoing a few minor fluctuations, it increased significantly to 20% at the end of the period. By comparison, the Aquarium's tourist rate was higher 10% than that of the zoo in 1980 and reached its peak quickly only after 5 years before dropping dramatically and became the least popular attraction in 2010. The change in Castle's tourists percentage was similar to Aquarium's one. Reaching the highest point of the chart in 1995 with 45% and then it decreased gradually to more than 15% in the last year of the survey. Finally, the trend of visitors coming to the Festival dropped steadily through 30 years. It showed the commonness of Edinburgh's festival reduced more and more.
* | hoanghailhp | Oct 16, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/line-graph-tourists-scotland-93704/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The formatting for this essay should follow the 3 paragraph format covering:
Par. 1: Summary overview + Trending statement
Par. 2: Comparison for Aquarium and Castle
Par. 3: Comparison for Zoo and Festival
It should not be presented in such a compressed paragraphical form. There are only 2 full formats to be used in the task 1 essay. The 4 paragraph format for the 2 image comparisons and the 3 paragraph format for the single image presentation. The exam taker should properly identify which format to use for the particular image presentations.
Complete the summary overview by always including the enumeration of comparison points and measurement indicators. These are necessary for the trending presentation which requires these notes for clear comparison presentations with regards to the highs and lows of the information content.
Based on the content, the writer knew how to properly compare data presentations. He just needs to be more conscious of how he presents the information to the reader / examiner, who will look for clarity and cohesiveness through paragraph separations.
All things considered though, the comparison presentation has good content and presentation considerations. It is the formatting requirement and incomplete summary overview that will limit the scoring consideration for the essay. | Holt | Oct 16, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/line-graph-tourists-scotland-93704/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Lemme help you with some of your mistakes:
made up ~~for~~ nearly ~~a~~ half of the total ... While the figure of **the** Aquarium ... | Gabriell | Oct 16, 2022 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/line-graph-tourists-scotland-93704/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
I have some advices for you:
- reached its peak quickly only after 5 years before dropping dramatically and became the least popular attraction in 2010. Add *the data* of **reached its peak and the least popular attraction at how much.** Like **reached its peak at around 45%**
- It showed the commonness of Edinburgh's festival reduced more and more. => ~~It showed the commonness of Edinburgh's festival reduced more and more.~~ **No need conclusion** in writing task 1 | kkkfg | Oct 16, 2022 | 3 | https://essayforum.com/writing/line-graph-tourists-scotland-93704/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
over the ~~period~~a of 30 years
Overall, the ~~number~~ percentage of travelers ... for ~~nearly a half~~ không sát (in) the total during the survey's years~~.~~ dùng dấu ,While the figure of ~~Aquarium~~ Zoo was ...
(...) ~~After that~~, (thiếu chủ ngữ)undergoing a few minor ~~fluctuations~~ ( ko có s), it increased ~~significantly~~( tăng nhẹ thôi) to 20% at ...
... the least popular In ~~attraction~~(thêm s) in 2010. The change in ~~Castle's tourists percentage~~(?) was similar to Aquarium's one. ( Thiếu chủ ngữ)Reaching the ... in 1995 ~~with~~ (at) 45% and then **it**( it ở đây ko rõ chỉ cái nào) decreased gradually ...
It ~~showed~~(shows) the commonness of ... | lequy1209 | Oct 16, 2022 | 4 | https://essayforum.com/writing/line-graph-tourists-scotland-93704/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
"the survey's years, while the figure of "
"undergoing a few minor factors, ~~it~~ .." => no "it", use a definite subject such as the figure of ... | nataliely | Oct 16, 2022 | 5 | https://essayforum.com/writing/line-graph-tourists-scotland-93704/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## internet users as percentage of population
The line graph compares the use of the internet of residents in three separate countries over a period of 10 years starting from 1999.
It is obvious that internet access of residents went through a growth in all three countries from 1999 to 2009 with a dramatic rise was seen in Canada. Another remarkable is that the percentage of people having access to the internet in Mexico was consistently lowest over the period surveyed.
In 1999, 20% Americans connected the internet, twice as high as the figure for Canadians, while Mexico witnessed only 5% people accessing to the internet.
From that time onwards, there was a considerable increase in the use of the internet in Canada and this figure exceeded that of America at about 45% in 2002, after which the former kept going up to the highest point of 100% at the end of period. A similar upward trend was seen in the USA with a fourfold rise to 80% in 2009, while Mexico seen a gradual upward trend in the proportion of residents surfing the internet and this figure peaked at 40% in 2009.
* | lequy1209 | Oct 18, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/comments-grammar-topic-use-internet-93713/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The discussion development overall is choppy and incomplete. Reading the summary paragraph did not inform the examiner of all the necessary highlights. As for the summary overview, the lack of proper country listing in the summary has left the examiner wondering about how the trend affected all 3 countries. The work in this paragraph was careless overall.
Failure to write a proper comparison paragraph occurs when only a single descriptive sentence exists in a presentation. A proper task paragraph is required to reflect a 3 -5 sentence analysis at all times. Single image reports need only 3 paragraphs instead of 4 paragraphs (used for 2 or more image comparisons).
Writing in multiple topic sentence combinations shows that the exam taker is not familiar with proper English sentence structuring. The lack of proper simple, complex, and compound sentence presentations and the existence of only run-on sentences will further add to the failing score considerations of this essay. | Holt | Oct 18, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/comments-grammar-topic-use-internet-93713/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
@lequy1209
"with a dramatic rise seen in canada"... can remove the "was"
" Another remarkable thing to note is that the percentage (...) was consistently low~~est~~ over ..." | randombrowngirl | Oct 18, 2022 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/comments-grammar-topic-use-internet-93713/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
"with a dramatic rise ~~was seen~~ in Canada"
"in Mexico was consistently the lowest"
"while Mexico ~~seen~~ saw/witnessed an.." | nataliely | Oct 18, 2022 | 3 | https://essayforum.com/writing/comments-grammar-topic-use-internet-93713/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
***The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life.***
## To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Many traditional moral codes have been passed on for generations. However, much controversy still surrounds the helpfulness of these ideas in facilitating younger generations' future in modern society. From my perspective, except for some obsolete notions, most of the traditional ideas are valuable to younger offspring.
Obviously, older generations maintain a number of inappropriate stereotypes. According to those, homosexuality and feminism are deemed to deviate, or even violate the common norms. Such kinds of discrimination have put women and minor groups of the society at a disadvantage and thus hindered them from seizing many opportunities in life and profession. This situation is inevitably against modern society's targets to promote equality and human rights. Additionally, conventional perceptions advise people, especially low-class and working-class ones, to stay restrained and suffer in any cases of discontent in order to maintain a so-called peaceful life. However, this idea may adversely affect the principles of democracy and civilization of humankind. Only by freedom of speech can burning issues be brought up and tackled.
Despite aforementioned limitations, traditional teachings still sustain lasting values to young generations. This is because those lessons which have been acquired and revised throughout history assemble older generations' knowledge and experience. In order to thrive in modern age, young people should preserve and promote those notions in accordance with contemporary situation. Take, for example, Vietnam where the forefathers always teach their offspring about the tradition of patriotism. That trait was the core factor which helped them overcome a millennium of Northern domination and win two resistance wars against the mightiest empires then. That heritage presents its unchanged value as young patriots are crucial for maintaining cultural character and national independence in the era of profound globalization.
In conclusion, much as some conventional ideas are somewhat invalid in modern days, the core notions remain precious to young generations as those values are obligatory conditions for the sustainable prosperity of modern society.
(318 words) | theinvisible | Oct 19, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/older-generations-traditional-moral-93719/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
In the writer's opinion presentation, an invalid response format was used since it did not use the key phrase response expectation. Rather than saying
From my perspective
the opening phrase should have been,*"I partially disagree with this statement because some obsolete... "*
in order to meet the extent response requirement. Note that the opinion included the required thesis statement to complete the reasoning process.
The second reasoning paragraph should have been the first reasoning statement since it directly relates to the writer's opinion and discussion basis. It is strong and perfect in explanation. A similar 2nd reasoning paragraph along the same lines would have been even better.
Therefore, the essay will be scored based on an incomplete reasoning development since the other paragraph is not aligned with the given thesis statement. It will lower the final score to a great extent. | Holt | Oct 19, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/older-generations-traditional-moral-93719/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Add a thesis statement that summarises what your essay is about and has your view on it
For the format:
para 1: intro with thesis
para 2: for the topic
para 3: against the topic
para 4: conclusion with reiteration of thesis and summary of points | randombrowngirl | Oct 19, 2022 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/older-generations-traditional-moral-93719/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## pros and cons of online education
In recent years, online education is becoming a new phenomenon with increasing participation rate. It cannot be denied that this trend brings lots of specific benefits for both students and schools but also has negative influences on them.
There are several reasons to say that distance learning is a trend worth becoming popular. Firstly, applying an online course helps students to minimize time and space spent for learning when compared to traditional education. For example, students can save time commuting from home to school and vice versa, to learn more courses and study anywhere with just an internet connection and a seat. Secondly, the cost of online education is always cheaper as the result of cutting infrastructure investment costs, leading to attracting more students to participate and increasing sales for schools.
In contrast, there are some problems that online learning is not effective enough than traditional learning. First, it reduces the focus on the lesson, which makes the learning results not as expected. In fact, we can even surf Facebook or play chess while taking an online lesson because the teachers only controls through the computer screen without knowing if their students are really absorbing knowledge or not; which reduces the effectiveness of studying and directly affecting student's score. Second, distance learning has a serious impact on communication and social relationships of both students and teachers. People need to socialize by meeting face-to-face while online learning only allows teachers and students to meet each other indirectly through the internet, it will gradually lead to social anxiety disorder and inhibit personal development.
In conclusion, it is hard to compare whether online education brings more advantages or more disadvantages because they always have its two sides. A balance between online education and traditional is necessary because students need to be fully developed instead of focusing on just one aspect. | Selina3010 | Oct 23, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/online-education-becoming-popular-discuss-93731/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Since online education is already an existing phenomenon, it is incorrect for the student to structure the introductory sentence as
is becoming a new phenomenon
. As it is currently occurring, The phrase should have been presented in current form: *... has become a new phenomenon.* That said, the restatement is still acceptable enough as it kept the original reference to the topic. The restatement of the writing slant is also very much acceptable for this presentation as it presents a writer's opinion, without being a direct writer's opinion, which is a unique way of indicating the thoughts of the writer. It will definitely be considered during the overall paragraph scoring.
Now, both advantage and disadvantage paragraphs are well presented and discussed. However, proper example presentations would have added to the scoring considerations. Both would have done well to present an example based on the writer's personal experience and the use of first person singular pronouns. The discussion does ask for examples based on the writer's personal experience and knowledge, so group pronouns should be limited or avoided in this presentation.
For additional improvement, the writer should also consider better connecting sentences for the presentations. Transition using subject focus rather than simple transition words or phrases for an increased C+C score. Without it, the paragraphs lack cohesiveness. How the 2 topics connect with a commonality in the presentation is lacking and will be looked for by the examiner.
As far as the conclusion is concerned, it was okay up until the part where the writer indicated a "balanced solution" since the original prompt did not ask him to present a solution or suggest / recommend an action. That will score down the conclusion as it prevented a proper 2 sentence reverse paraphrase presentation from being achieved. | Holt | Oct 23, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/online-education-becoming-popular-discuss-93731/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
***Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system.***
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A host of humans believed that parents who have children admitted to private schools should be taxes exoneration which is used for the improvement of the state academic system. Personally, I absolutely disagree with this thought.
There is a plethora of compelling reasons why I still believe the existence of paying taxes, in fact, can play an integral role in the development of educational outsourcing. First, the contribution is not only used for the stated education system supportive on the contrary also for the preparatory school. The fact that with the duty of families who send their minors to independent or state centers of learning, the government can introduce free-of-charge education to increase the gross enrollment rate of the country or provision more extracurricular activities for learning a wide range of transferable skills. Other than that, the higher academic systems are applied, the better qualifications for the students to gain the opportunity to be entitled to top-tier universities. As a result, an educated workforce with diverse socioeconomic backgrounds will be generated, and in turn a thriving economy and civilized society.
One more aforementioned advantage of this law is to create fairness in welfare between wealthy families and underprivileged ones. If the affluent are given the levy discount because of their children's education, we might have a situation where the poorer public pays higher tariffs to balance the nation's stock. Additionally, these kinds of families will not have an abundance of money to pay for student tuition, their juveniles are forced to be dropped out of the academy. This can be led to the rise of the unemployment rate which will put a strain on the sustainable development policy of the politicians.
In conclusion, I firmly dissent against the view about the financial concession for the parents of private children schools should be abolished. | Ber04 | Oct 22, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/parents-children-private-schools-taxed-support-93728/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
I have to wonder if the person who wrote this essay is a lawyer in real life. The way the writing was developed leans towards the use of legal terms, which are advanced English words, but not necessarily applicable in the development of this discussion. When considering everyday words used in this essay to help explain an idea, the does not do a good job of it. He used the advanced English words in the wrong context in this case, which would lead the advanced words leading to a failing LR score rather than boosting the score for that section. Remember that the word meaning needs to apply to the discussion. The idea presented in this essay is not a crime, yet the references used mostly relate to the belief as being some sort of criminal activity or criminal thought. That incorrect representation alone would be enough to fail the test overall.
The writer also fails to attach the thesis statement to the correct paragraph. It should have been attached to the first paragraph as a blended thought in the writer's opinion. It should not be used as a paragraph anchor topic sentence since it does not begin an actual paragraph discussion with a subject.
If I were to dissect this essay with a fine tooth comb, the essay presentation could be summed up in 2 ways. An ESL reader will read the advanced English words and say "Wow! Fantastic discussion! I am impressed by your word usage!" While an English native speaker will read this and ask "Who decided to debate this case in court? Isn't this supposed to be an everyday essay discussion? Who made this writer the prosecutor for the case? This is a totally inappropriate discussion based on word usage. Essay failed."
The focus on word usage ended up being a negative for this presentation. It opened up the writer to more GRA and C+C deductions than he would have received had he used a simple discussion using basic to intermediate English words that are not profession specific. After all, the exam taker is not taking the bar exam, just an IELTS test. | Holt | Oct 22, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/parents-children-private-schools-taxed-support-93728/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
***Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations.***
## Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Some workers choose to dedicate their professional life to one corporation only, whereas others suppose switching jobs is more beneficial. Both these views will bring certain advantages, but I believe that they should change their workplace for many good reasons.
One of the most prominent advantages of working for various companies is that we can upgrade ourselves with new skills. This is because when we change workplace after a period of dedication at the old company, we can get exposure to diverse working environments, thereby we might learn new techniques, accumulate working experience comprehend more expertise and acquire more knowledge experience from experts that we have a chance to work together with. Consequently, we will become a better versions of ourselves and increase our market value in leaps and bounds. For example, in one of a recent survey, 90% of the respondents people mentioned this reason for moving from their current workplace to a new ones. So, job hopping is not a bad idea for their personal development. improving yourself and getting more lucrative opportunities.
On the contrary, there is are a group of individuals contemplating contributing their services to the same institution for their whole lifetime. The primary reasons for this is the stability and security of the job. Even though they do not gain more knowledge and skills, they might get the chances of recognition and promotions. They are also less likely to lose their job in the event of a downsizing. To illustrate, a group of random age employees are interviewed about to know their thoughts idea about changing jobs., The findings of the interview which revealed that folks would like to continue the same job as they do not want to get out of their comfort zone.
In conclusion, people will have their own reasons to decide to stay with the same job or switch companies careers. Having said that, It is apparent working in multiple institutions will bring more benefits than continuing to work for the same company for a lifetime. Therefore, I strongly encourage that the employees should alter shift their job when they feel the current one career is not suitable and they want to improve themselves. | sunrisenguyen | Oct 21, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/workers-choose-dedicate-professional-life-one-93726/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Avoid overwriting a task 2 essay. Specially when the writer is not even sure if he is actually following the required prompt discussion. Kindly remember that this is a 40 minute task wherein almost 400 words cannot be written if the writer is to ensure that he is delivering correctly on all scoring requirements. It is more important to write a prompt adherent essay than one that is extremely long and went overboard with the discussion so that the topic focus is already incorrect, thus failing the test, in the end.
The first problem with the essay is the writing approach. The reasoning paragraphs should compare and contrast (or support) with the writer's opinion. That is because when this essay is written, there are only 2 considerations to be considered:
1. What is the public understanding of the given opinion? (Use third person group pronouns)
2. Can the writer support the opinion? Why? ( Singular first person pronouns must be used)
These are the 2 questions that the 2 response paragraphs should respond to. Should the writer prefer to offer a stand alone personal opinion, then the same format should be followed but present the opinion as a stand alone paragraph. There is no need to provide a personal opinion within the first 2 public opinion explanation paragraphs.
The second problem with this essay is that the concluding summary included a prompt deviation when the writer included an encouragement of an action which was not indicated by the writing instructions. This change in discussion focus left the essay without a proper concluding summary and thus, will receive a failing score due to the lack of a necessary paragraph.
These are the reasons why this essay will fail regardless of the length of each paragraph, word count, and word usage. C+C considerations do not matter when the response approach is incorrect. The essay has already failed. | Holt | Oct 21, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/workers-choose-dedicate-professional-life-one-93726/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
***(IELTS writing task 2)
In today's world, private companies rather than government pay for and conduct most scientific research.***
## Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?
Nowadays, researches carried out by private firms have outnumbered the one conducted by state institutions. Weighing up the pros and cons, I believe that the advantages are eclipsed by the disadvantages.
Regarding the merits, there are two major reasons why private experiments could have their strengths. Firstly, due to consumers' demand and the competition in the market, private scientists are likely to come up with cost-effective solutions and convenient innovations. A telling example of this is the Covid-19 testing kits produced by Pfizer, a biology technology company which has created one of the first kits with which anyone could carry out a Covid-19 test at home. The second point is that these firms always invest in the latest equipment to get the most accurate results. Therefore, when compares with some government institutes with old-fashioned facilities, there would be a huge difference in the final achievements.
In contrast, experiments conducted by private firms do have some significant drawbacks which can not compensate for their benefits. The first problem is the lack of cooperation among institutions and top scientists. To clarify, these scientists only work for their company and carry out their work independently, which in turn lengthens the timeline of scientific projects and curtails the application of many findings. In further consideration, there are risks that some firms might modify or even hide the findings to have the most suitable ones that can help them advertise and sell their products. For instance, Coca-cola has announced that based on its experiments, the consequences of drinking Coca-cola regularly have been exaggerated and it is ok for its customers to have it daily. This statement could lead to an increased intake of sugary beverages. Finally, customers are the ones who always have to suffer from these deceptive announcements.
In summary, private-firm-subsided researches have become commonplace in recent years due to the growing participation in the field of science and technology of private companies.
From the aforementioned arguments, it seems to me that the demerits outweigh the merits of this tendency. | honhung | Oct 20, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/pros-cons-scientific-research-made-93724/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Please limit the task 2 word count to 300 words so that extra time may be spent in cleaning up the essay. That means, the extra time should be used to revise the essay for clarity, overall meaning, sentence structure, and proper word usage. Simply writing a long essay that has not been edited will result in more mistakes and point deductions due to avoidable errors. The writer would want to avoid such deductions at all costs. Specially since this essay does contain more than several errors that could lead to a failing score.
The prompt paraphrase for example, strays from the original presentation. If we compare it side by side:
OT: ... private companies rather than government pay for and conduct most scientific research.
YT: ... researches carried out by private firms have outnumbered the one conducted by state institutions
The original theme revolves around the fact that the government has funded less scientific research while private companies are spending more on the same research. In the interpretation, the focus changes from scientific research to general research (wrong) and it discusses the number or amount of research (wrong again) rather than the monetary aspect of the research conducted. There will be no recourse but to fail the prompt restatement section of the paragraph. This will be done regardless of the appropriate (but discussion foundation lacking) writer's opinion. Next time, include a short reference to the 2 supporting topics to be discussed to complete the clarity of the writer's opinion.
An inappropriate discussion format was also used, which will result in further deductions for this essay. This is a compare and contrast essay. However, the comaprison must follow a specific single topic format to receive proper marking for the C+C score Following the way this person writes, the format, used over 2 reasoning paragraphs, should be:
Sentence 1: Advantage
Sentence 2: Explain why
Sentence 3: Oppose the advantage
Sentence 4: Explain why
Sentence 5: Provide examples to prove the disadvantage or create a transition sentence
Only by using the correct writing format will the writer deliver a proper written debate as required by the A v. D discussion prompt. | Holt | Oct 20, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/pros-cons-scientific-research-made-93724/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## Should universities accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject?
With the appearance of the feminist movement, females in recent decades have been treated as equal as males. This supports the idea that universities should ensure a completely equitable distribution of students in every subject. While this might seem to be a practical suggestion at first, I am strongly against this proposal for certain reasons.
Firstly, this seems to be unrealistic when an overview of the variation of the gender ratio across the world has shown the number of males relative to females is male-biased in almost every country, this ratio is around 105 males per 100 females. This means it is impossible for universities to arrange an exactly equal number of boys and girls into every major. Otherwise, if this situation is capable of implementation, the arrangement is unfair for both. In each subject, every university has a quantity of entry-level, the entrance of students will be decided by their total points, and obviously, it is filtered from top to bottom, the higher of scores, the higher of chances a student matriculates. However, in the case of being equal in males and females, for example, if a girl with a higher mark than a boy, to ensure a balanced number of boys and girls in one class, forcing the university to choose the boy instead of another one. This is actually unacceptable.
Besides, not every man and woman is suited to all the majors based on their overall abilities and interests. For instance, some science subjects are mainly not done well by women, such as mathematics, computer science, technology, and other fields of knowledge, which are totally dominated by males. Despite the noticeable progress that has been achieved in acknowledging that men and women both can be capable in science, female employees may still face evident discrimination in male-dominated work environments. Therefore, it is challenging for women to compete with men in such fields. Similarly, it is hard for male students to learn embroidery as it is for female students to study anatomy. As this shows, it is right to expect boys and girls to have separate academic pursuits and choose their majors on their own.
To conclude, I must affirm once again, it is neither realistic nor necessary to accept equal numbers of males and females in universities. Labeling this opinion as "a symbol of fairness" totally cannot be supported. | Chu Thuong | Oct 19, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/universities-ensure-completely-equitable-93722/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The writer will lose points for not properly restating the simple, one liner topic sentence as provided. The first paragraph should not have more sentences than the original. It should also save the point of view discussion for the reasoning paragraphs since only an opinion with thesis statement is required for the paragraph. Since the thesis statement is not present, full points cannot be given as a preliminary score.
The test requires the student to intelligently discuss a topic within 3-5 sentences per paragraph. This is a conversational rather than academic paper afterall. While this essay is well within qualified reasoning, the writer has to focus more on concise writing, as if answering within a class verbal discussion instead. That is why there is a writing time limit.
As a test essay this is well-written but over-discussed. As such it is in danger of losing out on point increases and might receive penalties instead. | Holt | Oct 19, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/universities-ensure-completely-equitable-93722/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
***SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE GOVERNMENT SHOULD SPEND MONEY ON BUILDING TRAIN AND SUBWAY LINES TO REDUCE TRAFFIC CONGESTION.
OTHERS THINK THAT BUILDING MORE AND WIDER ROADS IS THE BETTER WAY TO REDUCE TRAFFIC CONGESTION.***
## DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.
People today argue that government should concentrate on train lines in order to reduce traffic congestion, while others believe that building more wide roads make sense. In my opinion, though building more roads is an effective way, spending on rail and subway systems seems to solve the problem.
On the one hand, the case for building more roads is that it will meet transportation need in a country. Firstly, the transportation industry plays an important role in the development of a country, if the transport sector makes progress, the country will quickly develop into a modern industrial city. Secondly, this method is likely to a permanent solution in terms of adapting the number of transportations in both urban cities and countrysides. For instance, when people incomes have been improved, they tend to acquire personal vehicles such as cars and motorbikes so that they can go to work more easily instead of waiting for a bus or a taxi, which lead to a higher volume of traffic and numerous vehicles; consequently, government take responsibility for building highways to fix this issue.
On the other hand, I would side with those who think that increasing investment in rail and subway lines is more practical. The trains are faster, cheaper and more convenient in terms of encouraging citizens to give up their private means so that traffic jam is not enlarged. Japan, for example, has one of the best metro network over the world; as a result, the traffic congestion does not happen much in this country.
In conclusion, government should prioritize expenditure on rail and metro networks rather than constructing more roads to see decline in high-traffic areas. | kkkfg | Oct 18, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/rails-roads-government-concentrate-93711/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
**(IELTS WRITING TASK 2)**
***Some people think that an international sports event is suitable for a country, while some people think it is bad.***
## Discuss both views and state your opinion.
My essay:
Numerous citizens believe that conducting international sporting events can bring many benefits to their own nation, whereas others think the opposite way. In my opinion, it is reasonable for those who side with the latter idea, but I totally agree with the former one because there are advantages for aspects including tourism, people in the local area could be earned from the event.
On the one hand, an international event needs a huge amount of money to organize. It means that the government has to rely on resources such as the national budget which is mostly collected through taxes. As a result, many people might think it would be more efficient to focus on education as well as the public transport or sewage system. For example, the Sea games, which were hosted by VietNam the last year, cost over 500 billion VND, while in every rainy season, lots of cities in VietNam are flooded. Furthermore, many indoor sporting areas built for the event might be left unused because the next Sea games will be hosted by another country.
On the other hand, on a global stage, an international event is a great opportunity for a nation to promote its culture, tourism, and so on. This is due to the fact that athletes and interviewers from various countries will be invited and join the event. From this, they will advertise and introduce what they are interested in. Besides, businesses of local citizens living around areas for the event could also boost their revenue as there are more tourists or travelers who want to behold how athletes compete in the stadium.
In conclusion, international sports events could consume a lot of money, however, it could be compensated by other values such as national finance and the image of the country. | chienng | Oct 17, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/international-sports-event-suitable-country-93705/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
This type of prompt asks the writer to consider 3 things:
- Why does the public support the opinion? (Supporting explanation)
- What does he think about the public opinion (personal opinion: Support or non-support)
- Why does he see the public opinion that way? (Explanation)
Based on the current writing, I cannot say that the writer actually considered the public vs, his personal opinion. That is because there is a lack of proper 3rd and 1st person pronoun usage in the essay. There needs to be a demarcation between opinions in each paragraph through pronoun usage otherwise, the general opinion presentation could be considered only of the writer's personal point of view. Keep in mind that this is a comparative essay of the public v, personal kind and such, must be reflected that was in each paragraph.
The reasoning provided is sound and acceptable but, unclear with regards to who is actually thinking and presenting these opinions. Each paragraph needs to represent 2 opinions as previously described. | Holt | Oct 17, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/international-sports-event-suitable-country-93705/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Here is my advice: this a discuss both views and state your opinion essay so you should **discuss both points of view** impartially **before giving your own view**. | kkkfg | Oct 17, 2022 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/international-sports-event-suitable-country-93705/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
**These days consumers are faced with an increasing amount of advertising from various companies.
To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertising?
What measures should be taken to protect them?
Write at least 250 words.**
In this day and age, most brands have numerous strategies to promote their products, especially through various forms of advertisements. This makes consumers face an increase in the amount of daily advertising. I personally believe that this propensity is both advantageous and disadvantageous to consumers. Therefore, solutions must be taken in time in order to protect customers from detrimental sides.
To commence with, advertisements from companies could have some positive impacts on the customers. Since advertising programs provide consumers with a variety of products and brands, these consumers could have a wide range of choices when purchasing their items. In other words, the increase in advertising nowadays has met many consumers' matters of taste. This development, however, can be a harmful influence on the customers. The more advertising is put out, the more customers would face false advertisements. These untrue advertisements would give consumers incorrect information about the items they purchase, which can make the consumers waste their money on products with unpleased qualities.
In order to protect consumers from unexpected consequences, governmental institutions had better implement more appropriate policies to stop the increase in untrue advertisements. One measure for this is that we would fine heavily companies or brands' untrue advertisements and even place a permanent sales ban on these items. Next, customers should be aware of the drawbacks of purchasing their products through advertising programs. They should make wise decisions when buying an item. Thus, taking the price and quality of the products into consideration is a must for everyone.
In conclusion, the increase in the amount of advertising has brought consumers both beneficial and harmful influences. Therefore, measures to prevent customers from negative sides should be taken and this responsibility belongs to the government and each individual.
(290 words) | Gabriell | Oct 18, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/advertising-93709/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
**The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.
Summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.**
Please check my writing! Million thanks!
## the figure of visitors in the Carribean
The line chart illustrates the figure of visitors each year from 2010 to 2017 in a Caribbean island.
Overall, the total number of people choosing the island as a holiday destination was almost always on a strong rise throughout the years. However, there were some differences in the trend between the tourists spending their time on cruise ships and those who chose to stay on the mainland.
In 2010, the number of visitors staying on the island was about 0.75 million, three times that of those staying on cruise ships. For the next three years, the former figure doubled to one and a half million, while the latter only saw slight fluctuations from a quarter to half a million.
From 2013 to 2017, the rate of people enjoying their time on the island witnessed a complete standstill at its old peak, it even dipped a little in 2016 before coming back to its previously constant record of 1.5 million in 2017. On the other hand, a remarkable upward trend happened to the number of visitors spending time on ships. In contrast to its stagnancy in the first three years, there was an increase by at least 0.5 and at most 1 million annually of this figure. In 2016 and 2017, the number finally surpassed its counterpart and reached a peak record of 2 million visitors.
* | darrenshan97 | Oct 12, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/number-tourists-visiting-caribbean-93688/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
This is not a task 2 essay. It is a task 1 essay of 150-200 words. With 225 words written, the writer has not done his sectional scores any favors. He has opened himself up to scoring deductions based on avoidable errors that would not have occurred had he not over written the task report / analysis. He must learn how to write shorter but comprehensible paragraphs to meet that requirement. I believe that this error happended because he used numerical word references in some aspects rather than just indicated the digit or numerical symbols for the numbers. Remember that editing, rewriting, and final formatting must be accomplished within 20 minutes. So what will be considered is the quality of writing provided rather than the word count or complexity of word usage. The task 1 essay does not need to be verbose.
its old peak
Which was? The writer is over describing the images instead of using direct descriptive words. He focused only on word usage in the hopes of creating a passing essay. Rather, his overuse of descriptive words rather than concise infomation sharing proved to be a problem for his essay. He exaggerated references, over stated facts, and clearly, tried to provide a vocabulary test rather than a reporting essay. | Holt | Oct 12, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/number-tourists-visiting-caribbean-93688/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
I think you were misunderstanding the graph information so therefore your overview and comparison were wrong. The time in this essay is year, in a period of 8 years, not day as you wrote. The graph also gave you the data about what type of travel of the customers, not how much time they spent on the holiday. In writing task 1, the overview is really important so please make sure that you have a great overview for higher mark. | DanielDang | Oct 12, 2022 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/number-tourists-visiting-caribbean-93688/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Please check my writing! Million thanks!
## SUMMARISE THE INFORMATION FROM THE GRAPHS
The line charts illustrate the alteration in the possession of electric appliances and the quantity of time spent on housework in family in one nation from 1920 to 2019.
It is clear that the percentages of households with electrical devices, namely washing machines, refrigerators, and vacuum cleaners, saw upward trends in the time survey, while the number of hours of housework per week, per household, saw an opposite tendency during the research period.
Initially, in 1920, the rate of families owning washing machines made up highest, stood at 40%, whereas the figure for vacuum cleaners was slightly lower, at 30%, compared to almost no refrigerator-owning households. After about 100 years, in 2019, there were significant rises of roughly 100% and 70% to both 100% in the ratios of owning refrigerators and vacuum cleaners in households. Meanwhile, the rate of the possession of washing machines also saw a rapid increase to roughly 75%.
However, the amount of time expenditure on housework weekly per family experienced a dramatic fall. To specify, in 1920, an average family needed 50 hours each week to do housework, while up to 2019, they just spent medium 10 hours on housework in a week.
* | nhinhinhi223 | Oct 13, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/graphs-depict-changes-household-size-time-93695/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
There is a lack of clarity in the summary overview. While the writer properly identified the image provided and used the plural reference form for it, he forgot that along with the plural form comes the numerical indicative form for each image. That means, 2 sentences identifying the image information would have been needed to complete the summary. A proper indicator would have been:
*2 line graphs have been provided for comparison. The first line graph covers information regarding the households that own electricity consuming gadgets, while the second graph considers housework hours rendered by families over 7 day periods. The percentages measurements for both groups were completed over a period of almost a century (1929-2019). Trending for the images indicate that ownership ... As for manpower hours, the measurements show a high of... and a low of...*
By properly identifying the images, separating the information provided, and allowing for a concise trending presentation, the full requirements for scoring the summary overview + trending statement would have been provided. The above version is an example of a concise and preliminary high scoring TA paragraph.
After about 100 years
Wrong time frame indicator. It is one year less than a hundred years and should have been indicated as such. Take note of how I referenced the same in the sample above.
Paragraph sentence uniformity is a must for clear and easily understandable paragraphs. Always write 3-5 sentences. Any less cannot be scored as a complete paragraph consideration. | Holt | Oct 13, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/graphs-depict-changes-household-size-time-93695/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
I think you have skipped too many details of the graph and therefore it made your idea become confusing and lack of clarity. You should include some trends appeared during the time period, for instance, washing machine fluctuated from 1940 to 2000. | DanielDang | Oct 13, 2022 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/graphs-depict-changes-household-size-time-93695/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Question:
**Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference.
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?**
Here is my answer:
In today's world, the environment is becoming more of a problem, since if we don't take action, the very environment that is protecting us shalll be slowly exhausted, and we will have to face terrible consequences, such as out of food and water as well as several different diseases. While this problem affecs the world on a very big scale, I disagree that the problem should be left to only large corporations and governments,
What would happen if individuals stopped caring for the environment, for they believed that the giant companies and authorities will solve it for them? The results will be catastrophic, since the population that does not care about their environment can create massive pollution in many different areas, such as using cars and motorbikes that released large amounts of harmful chemicals into the air in cities or throwing their garbage down rivers and lakes, which will end up polluting the water and killing all the creatures. Handling all of these will not be simple, and will take much more time and resources than simply a day's work.
So with the aforementioned harmful effects, the average person should help improve the environment, but even though the problem seems tricky, it is surprisingly simple. One thing that everyone can do is to start using less products made of plastic and other undecomposable materials, since they damage the environment the most and is very hard to be handled properly. Another is to plant more trees since they can reduce the air pollution that is caused mainly by harmful carbon dioxide by the photosynthesis process, which replaces the harmful carbon dioxide with oxygen.
In conclusion, while I think that the corporations and governments has the resources and time to help the environment, individuals should also take part in the process to reduce the load on the former and make big changes from a lot of small changes.
*What is the approximated IELTS band score of this essay, and what are its mistakes and fixes? What can I do to improve it? Thanks for your help!* | ducmatgoclyhoa | Oct 16, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/improving-environment-individuals-93702/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
***Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world.
Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.***
## Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sharing information helps people gain more understanding in a variety of fields such as business, science and academic world, but not all the information is freely shared because of its importance and value. There are many people agree with one of two views, but pesonally I think both views are partly.
It is understandable why some people think that a wide range of information should be shared widely about different areas of life. First, people could know more about academic world, pros and cons of scientific development to the environment and business investment for investors, so that people could apply their knowledge about those fields to protect our environment and get the most profit for themselves. However, some details such as how to make coca cola, or some crazy discoveries of people in process of scientific research and the academic world are too important and valuable. If that ìnormation is not kept confidentai, people will become confused and the world will be in chaos, so some people believe that those details could not shared freely with the others who do not work or analysis about those areas.
In my opinion, I think information about scientific research business and academic world should be shared with people in a selective way. The details shared need to be interesting, new and easy to understand, without confusing the recipients. Besides, valuable and important information for an individual or organization conducting in-depth research in various fields should be kept confidential to prevent others from stealing ideas and achievements of those individuals and organizations, also avoid bewilderment for those who have no expertise in these areas. | Nguyettrang | Oct 12, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/information-scientific-research-93692/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The prompt restatement will receive a failing preliminary score because of 2 reasons:
1. It does not clearly and individually restate the 2 given public opinions;
2. The writer's opinion is an incomplete presentation. Partly what?
Based on these 2 errors, the writer cannot receive a passing mark for the paragraph due to the confusing sentence structure and information presentation. It will also receive a failing preliminary GRA score due to the confusion reading the paragraph will cause the examiner. At this point, the exam taker no longer has a chance of passing the test due to the additional score deductions that will be applied per section for each paragraph he has written.
Actually, the essay will receive an automatic failing score due to the improper formatting present. There is no concluding paragraph in the last part of the essay so the summary conclusion is missing. It is also just a 3 paragraph essay when the requirement for this prompt is a 4-5 paragraph discussion. I am afraid the writer does not understand how to properly format a Task 2 essay and how to write the paragraphs based on the writing instructions. That is why this essay failed.
He can easily learn how to write these essays by reading the sample essays as this forum. He can familiarize himself with the writing requirements and learn from the mistakes made by others and the corrections provided to them. After he learns more about how to approach the writing test, he can try to write another practice essay for review in this forum. | Holt | Oct 12, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/information-scientific-research-93692/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
***In some countries, if people need to find work, they have to move away from their families and their friends.
## Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?***
It is indeed that in some parts of the world these days, individuals need to relocate away from their families and friends to seek employment opportunities. While this trend is beneficial in some ways, there are more compelling reasons why the drawbacks of this outweigh the benefits.
On the one hand, people's decisions to move to another country for a living is plausible for some reasons. It is a widespread belief that prosperous countries may provide people with higher-paid jobs. Since these countries have better developed-economy, there will be more corporations and developed companies with good financial backgrounds, which allows them to offer employees high salaries. In some developing countries like Nigeria, for example, residents may be unable to earn their living, so they move to France in search of well-paying employment, after which they can send money home if employed.
On the other hand, the movement of people to be far away from their relatives and friends for job prospects has numerous adverse impacts. Local people may maintain prejudices and discriminate against migrant workers, making it harder for them to integrate into society; one example is racism against African and Asian citizens in many wealthy nations, such as the United States and some European countries. Another disadvantage is that working conditions in the host nations may be inadequate. As a result, labourers may have to work in hazardous and unhealthy environments, which can be detrimental to their health in the long run.
In conclusion, while the trend of people moving away from family and friends to find employment opportunities has certain advantages, it also has more considerable problems. It is recommended that individuals make every effort to find work in their neighbourhoods. | lanlan8898283 | Oct 12, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/countries-people-find-work-move-away-93691/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
There is no need to attest to the reality of the topic provided for the discussion. There is no true or false question being asked so the writer need not respond to an unspoken or unwritten question. This is an unnecessary and score deductible part of the prompt restatement. If he had merely repeated the need to relocate for work without any additional opinions, then the restatement would have been based on the original presentation. It is important to understand that trying to increase the word count by altering the original topic presentation, in this instance by saying "indeed" when there was no need to reiterate a response since no question was being asked, will affect the score adversely and therefore, should not be done when restating a prompt. Respond only to clear questions being asked / included as a writing guide.
The response paragraphs are incorrectly formatted. Since this is a single opinion presentation, a comparative discussion should
be used to reinforce the writer's opinion over 2 paragraphs. That translates into the writer needing to disprove why benefits are actually drawbacks, or in this case, why an advantage is actually a disadvantage. The response format is:
Sentence 1: Advantage
Sentence 2: Supporting reason
Sentence 3: Writer's point of view which is either supportive or opposing to the advantage presented
Sentence 4: Supporting reason
Sentence 5: Example to support the disadvantage
Do this twice to create coherent and cohesive supporting discussion for the writer's opinion. Never deviate from the defense of the writer's point of view because that is the writing requirement. Do not compare and contrast 2 different reasons. Compare and contrast the reasons why one topic could be both and advantage and disadvantage instead. That is how this essay will receive the best major scoring considerations.
It is recommended that
This will be another major score deduction. Since the writer is not being asked to make recommendations for solutions, seeing as this is only a discussion and not a problem solving essay, he will be considered prompt deviant in the conclusion, which could very well lead to an automatic failing score since the writer has shown he is unable to follow the most basic writing instruction as provided in the original prompt and writing guide. | Holt | Oct 12, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/countries-people-find-work-move-away-93691/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
***Some education systems make student focus on certain subjects at the age of 15 while others require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school.
## what are the benefits of each system? which is better?***
Modern era has witnessed numerous innovations in education and myriads of attitudes towards it. Evidently, people arenow divergent whether specializing education systems or broader ones are better. Although both viewpoints maintain different justifications, concentrating on certain subjects is generally more benificial and necessary for students.
Proponents of broad range of subjects may espouse the fostered comprehensive knowledge together with enhanced chances to find out desirable profession. To commence with, the exposure to a wide sphere of knowledge ranging from natural science to social one can inevitably engender students' profound information about various field. Therefore, they undoubtedly have better grasp of academic problems , yielding favorable outcomes for their future career. Another point is that, joining plentiful lessons of dissimilar subjects offer pupils opportunities to try out multitude of majors, enriching their choices in terms of suitable professions.
Advocates of specialized education systems may argue for the enhanced social experience and boosted time to pursue future careers. To exemplify, fewer subjects are synomymous with fewer tests or exams, resulting in the students' more sacrifying time for other activities such as reading books, newspapers or play sport and expanding network circle. These non-academic activities tend to provides juveniles with large amount of precious social experience, rendering the increased ability to navigate social situations in future workplace. Additionally, with the more attention paid at preferred subjects realating to pursued career, students may lay themselves concrete foundation on their basic information of the field. Consequence includes potential capacity in terms of this pursuit can be considerably shaped at the early stage.
In conclusion, I would prefer the specialized system due to the social experience and more time offered and claim that it relatively more essential and favorable for students. | phn0108 | Oct 12, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/education-systems-make-student-focus-certain-93690/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Okay. The writer understands the subject of the discussion but did not provide the 3 explanatory statements as required by the presentation instruction. What makes it clear that this is a 3 paragraph essay? The following statement clearly indicates that need:
what are the benefits of each system? which is better?
There are 2 educational systems up for discussion at one explanatory paragraph each. The explanation of the writer's opinion is another separate explanatory paragraph. Each paragraph must be fully explained and convincing to the reader. With regards to the explanatory paragraphs for each system of education, the writer does not equally develop the explanation for each. The lack of discussion development usually presents itself with the second reason provided. It is sufficient to use only one reason or benefit explanation for each paragraph due to the number of paragraphs required. Just make sure to fully explain and support each reason presented.
Presenting the writer's preferred learning method in the concluding paragraph could result in a failing test score since the requirement for the concluding paragraph is to summarize and conclude the discussion. The writer cannot present and explain his opinion in this paragraph due to that requirement. This essay will be considered incomplete upon submission due to the lack of a properly presented conclusion. Normally, the lack of a concluding paragraph results in a failing score. Remember, the scores are based on proper response formats. Simply using keywords to indicate a conclusion is not the same as developing a correctly formatted reverse paraphrase / concluding summary.
These are the main reasons that this essay could have scoring problems. I have not even gotten started on the punctuation and other grammar related problems of the presentation. | Holt | Oct 12, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/education-systems-make-student-focus-certain-93690/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Please give me some feedback. Thanks a lot!
**The most important consideration when choosing any career or jobs is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?**
At least once in a lifetime, everyone has to face the problem of choosing what is a good job and what are the indicators of a good job. Some people believe that having a high salary is the most important factor when picking a job. In my perspective, high-income jobs are not always the best, other aspects such as working conditions and the purpose of the job also needed to be considered.
With the progress of society, people are more concerned about the working conditions when they choose a job. If the job requires the employee to work overtime and even no weekend break, they will likely quit the job soon. For example, a report from VTV, the national broadcast tv of Vietnam, reported that a third of graduated students tend to quit their 9 to 5 jobs within 6 months of apprenticeship because of the overtime work
On the other hand, the meaning of the job is also crucial. Only when we find the purpose of the job, then we can go far and do good at it. A friend of mine graduated from a prestigious university and worked for a big bank quit his job after 4 years of relentlessly working hard because he felt like he was working as a robot and found no meaningful in his job.
In conclusion, while money is essential when choosing a job, other aspects such as working conditions and the purpose of the job also need to be considered. | lantern | Oct 12, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/important-consideration-choosing-career-jobs-93689/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The response of the writer to the question is incomplete. He ommitted responding to the "To what extent?" question when he framed his response. This led to an under developed and misformatted discussion presentation. The ommission will result in high TA score penalties for this essay.
The first sentence is a prompt deviation as it changes the basis of the discussion presented. There is no "one in a lifetime" reference in the original. Being perhaps a personal opinion, the writer should have presented that as a part of his opinion presentation instead. For a prompt restatement not to receive deductions, it must successfully and directly restate the given topic within the first 2 sentences of the first paragraph.
When writing the opinion presentation, the writer must take note of the response format requirement. In this case, it was "To what extent?" Therefore the proper response should have been structured as:
*I **strongly oppose** the given statement because other aspects such as working conditions and the purpose of the job also needed to be considered.*
I highlighted the portion of the text that the response accuracy score will be based upon. The keywords representing a measured or emotional response are a scoring requirement in this case.
There was no sense in saying "On the other hand" to start the 2nd reasoning paragraph. Since this is a supporting reason and not an opposing reason, the opening sentence should have been a cohesive statement instead to help connect the 2 paragraphs and create a higher C+C score for the overall presentation. The writer could have instead said something like *"Another important consideration is..."* With the word "another" representing the connecting link between the two paragraphs.
One small ommission that the writer made which will also result in a very minimal, but still required deduction is the word count. He only wrote 249 words when the minimum is 250 words. Yes, a minute percentage deduction will still be applied because coming in under the minimum word count carries a scoring penalty, regardless of how close the writer was to the minimum requirement. Keep track of the words being written. It will be best to always write 5 sentences per paragraph to ensure that the word requirements are met. There is always a danger of coming in under the word count when only 3 sentences are written.
As far as the sentence structures and presentation are concerned, the writer does not have perfect sentence presentations and yes, there is no mix of sentence styles present in his writing. However, the ideas presented are understandable and does not confuse the reader so the lack of sentence styles will not be too much of a scoring problem. His GRA and C+C scores will remain somewhat strong. His vocabulary is acceptable even as it lacks advanced English word usage. Advanced English word usage is not as important as using simple but understandable words to make a point. That is what is being scored here, the proper use of English words, no matter how simple, to make oneself understood. Good job with that !
When considering the reasons presented, it is clear that the writer understood that this is a single opinion prompt, which he wrote accordingly. The writer did a good job in that aspect. The problem, is that he first changed the basis of the discussion in the restatement, used the wrong linking reference to connect the paragraphs, and finally, did not meet the 40 minimum word count or 2 sentence requirement for the otherwise appropriate summary conclusion to receive a better scoring consideration. Seeing how well the writer wrote this essay though, I can say that he just needs improvements to certain sections of his work in order to stand a chance of receiving a higher than average overall test score. | Holt | Oct 12, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/important-consideration-choosing-career-jobs-93689/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Please check my writing. Thank you, guys!
The pie charts visually describe the percentage of males and females arrested in the period of five years ending 1994, and the bar chart illustrates a variety of recent causes for the arrest.
In general, the percentage of males being jailed was higher than that of females. Moreover, most people were arrested because of public drinking.
In the five years ending in 1995, there was nearly a third percent of men (32%) being arrested in the total number of people who committed crimes, whereas the number for women was at a much lower, about three and a half times lower, 9%. Moving on to the reasons for the arrest, we can clearly see that public drinking was the main reason why people were captured, with more than 30% in both genders.
Other reasons such as breach of order, assault, and theft were around 10 to 20 percent. Furthermore, the proportion of females apprehended by drink-driving was around 15%, and the figures for males roughly doubled that of females. Also, some crimes that had no answer were around 5 percent in both sexes. Lastly, other reason not mentioned had a percentage of just under 20%.
* | alexwriteb | Oct 12, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/wtiting-percentage-persons-arrested-five-93687/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
I would like to focus my review primarily on the summary overview presentation as this represents a large portion, actually the passing portion, of the task score. It is imperative that the summarized information is properly formatted to meet TA and C+C requirements as this is the scannable paragraph of the overall report.
First up, there are 2 different images that are provided for the review. Since both images offer differing information targets, these cannot be presented as a connected sentence in the summary. Rather, these should be presented as stand alone sentences that use the correct connecting phrases to bridge the 2 sentences. The writer could have also shown more varied skills if he had indicated the information as covering half a decade, then indicating the actual years presented in a parenthesis to help clarify his meaning. It creates a more advanced sentence structure.
The trending statement could use more clarity as well. There should be a separation or proper indicator as to which image is related to what information. Remember, this is still part of the summary overview. So a clearer summary presentation format could have been:
Sentence 1: Main subject introduction
Sentence 2: Image identifier + Trending Information
Sentence 3: Image identifier + Trending Information
Sentence 4: Transition sentence into the actual report / analysis paragraphs
The aforementioned presentation allows for a coherent and cohesive summary presentation.
in the period of five years ending 1994
In the five years ending in 1995
Information inconsistencies are present in the reports that will create confusion for the reader. He did not bother to double check his information for accuracy leading to a confusing paragraph presentation. The paragraph should also have been anchored onto an image identifier introduction for the first sentence. By the way, the paragraph needs to have a minimum of 3 sentences to qualify as a proper paragraph. | Holt | Oct 12, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/wtiting-percentage-persons-arrested-five-93687/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi! I'm working on my Barnard essays, and I am afraid that my essay is trivial. Should I rewrite it? The prompt:
***Pick one woman - a historical figure, fictitious character, or modern individual - to converse with for an hour and explain your choice.
## Why does this person intrigue you? What would you talk about? What questions would you ask them?
(300 words max)***
In the 1960s, Katherine Johnson started to work at NASA as a mathematician, becoming one of the first women of color in the agency. Being a woman and a black person, she had to deal with sexism and racism from her colleagues daily, who were skeptical of Johnson's work. However, being a strong, brave, and highly talented person who easily overcame difficulties, Johnson quickly climbed the career ladder. She made a considerable contribution to such programs as Apollo 11 and Mercury (including the missions of Alan Shepard and John Glenn) and left her significant mark on space exploration.
Katherine Johnson inspired me as a person interested in STEM after watching the famous movie "Hidden Figures" and studying her exceptional biography, filled with the struggle in career and life, hard work, and outstanding achievements. If I had the opportunity to have a conversation with Katherine for an hour, I would ask how she was able to achieve such a position in her career and society despite the difficulties and public rejection that accompanied her as a woman in science. Also, walking along the corridors of NASA, we would brainstorm various strategies for improving the world's achievements in space exploration and try to elaborate on answers to space-related questions that scientists have been facing for decades. Ultimately, I would ask her for advice for me and other girls who dream of becoming successful scientists, working in the space industry, and being strong leaders in their communities. | sockofate | Oct 11, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/katherine-johnson-pick-one-woman-history-93686/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
My opinion is that this statement can do with some revisions. For starters, the first paragraph needs to be better blended as an insightful and self - inspiring introduction to your interest in space science through an admiration for this person. That way more attention can be paid to the discussion and time spent with this person. Set up the meeting prior to the discussion of the questions you will be asking. For example, you could go back in time to one of her more notable missions, pick the one you are most interested in. Then ask relevant questions that will accomplish 2 things:
1. Further introduce this historical character to the reader
2. Allow the reviewer to understand how your interests and potential success in this field directly ties in with this inspirational person.
The first paragraph does not really focus the essay on the applicant, which poses a problem since the reviewer will learn more about the historical figure rather than the applicant in relation to the figure. So that became a problem for this presentation. | Holt | Oct 11, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/katherine-johnson-pick-one-woman-history-93686/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## taxation and pollution
**SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT INCREASING TAX ON VARIOUS INDUSTRIES WILL REDUCE POLLUTION, WHEREAS OTHERS BELIEVE THAT THERE ARE BETTER ALTERNATIVE WAYS. DISCUSS BOTH THE VIEW AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.**
Nowadays, many argue that increasing tax can be a good way to protect environment, while some alternative methods are thought to be better. In my opinion, taxation is the better solution than others due to its effectiveness.
The case for that there are still better ways is related to the growth of using green energy such as wind, water, solar. These renewable resources make quite impact on the industry especially production facilities so that they encourage the business to become a green industry. Tesla, for instance, with the government sponsorship tends to become an eco-friendly business. However, this is a limited solution when developed nations with high technological level have method of producing energy from these resources, but not for developing countries and others.
On the other hand, heavy taxing on the industries prevent enterprises from dumping waste into nature. This solution seems to make the companies change their product method from current practices to cleaner energy practices. In European Union, this approach is useful when enterprises are taxed at higher rates, which reduces how much carbon footprints come. Additionally, that industries are greener gain the support from government and public and also friendly environment.
In conclusion, taxation is an effective solution for current situation; moreover, both approaches can consider to be mixed together to become a greater way in the future. In addition to, environment should be a government priority along with the attention from residents. | kkkfg | Oct 9, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/taxing-industries-good-way-protect-93682/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The prompt restatement inaccurately represents the first version of the topic presentation. There are no arguments provided, merely differeing opinions. So the writer exaggerated the essence of the original topic. Nobody is arguing about the topic. Rather, there are 2 different opinions presented and these should have been reflected without exaggeration through the writer's interpretation. As for the writer's opinion, he clearly indicated the side that he supported, but forgot to give a short explanation as to why he supports that opinion. That would have increased the clarity of his opinion and the task accuracy score as well.
Using the comparative opinion discussion per paragraph would have helped the writer achieve better coherence and cohesiveness in his explanations. These would have both been considered properly and fully developed in terms of scoring had he chosen to do 2 things:
1. Explain the reasons why the public supports an opinion.
2. Give the reasons why he opposes / also supports the given opinion.
In the case of the opinion he supports, he could have added personal insight after the public explanation, using the correct first person pronouns to help him achieve a better score in terms of C+C considerations. In this case, the essay is under developed and a bit confusing the understand since there are no correct pronouns being used in the essay. The lack of pronouns makes it difficult to understand if the writer is explaining a public opinion or, if he presenting his personal views of the given topic. The lack of pronoun consideration could very well affect his GRA score negatively. | Holt | Oct 9, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/taxing-industries-good-way-protect-93682/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
You seems to overlook the clarity of your points. In the second parapraph, "these renewable...green industry" => in which way renewable resources can impact upon the industry. The example following the viewpoint is also repeats the preoccupying idea thus it creates the same issue, how government encourages Tesla become more eco-friendly ? You should add more support for these views by saying something like "With the authorities providing incentives and imposing enlightened policies, businesses are able to generate more profit and relived of the budern of potential legal issues.
If you find the comment is helpful, please give me a like, wish you the best and achieve your bandscore ! | Charles Le | Oct 9, 2022 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/taxing-industries-good-way-protect-93682/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## **The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.**
*Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.*
The two maps present an overview on how the island has changed in the aspect tourist facilities.
Overall, it can be deducted from a quick glance that a lot of tourist facilities, ranging from accommodation, operational buildings like a restaurant or a reception have popped up. Despite all of the man-made changes, a good job of preserving the natural features is noticeable.
The first thing that can be taken from the two maps is an enormous change in on-land buildings. Forming in groups in the left and middle part of the island are tourist housing. Between them lies a restaurant and a reception.
Footpaths and vehicle tracks form around those main buildings provide ways of traveling around the island. A pier has also been built in the small bay just on the bottom of the island
Third of all, besides from the beach being purposed as a swimming spot, the rest of the island, considering nature, remains unchanged.
*
*the two maps* | TRUNG QUY | Oct 10, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/overview-island-changed-aspect-93685/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The immediate thing that hit me upon scanning this report is that the writer does not know how to count. He went from "The first thing" to "Third of all" without having passed through second. What happened there? I have not even considered the icorrect grammar references to the chronological order of the presentations at this point. That is another severe writing mistake that this writer cannot overcome. Was it a case of not proof reading the document before considering it final? This is why it is imperative that the writer's get into the habit of reviewing and editing their work before submission. Do not use all 20 minutes just writing, nor should one use less than 20 minutes and submit without reviewing the paper. These are the main reasons why the papers tend to get automatic failing scores. Some shortcomings in the presentation are just too obvious to ignore so proper deductions have to be applied.
The writer also does not use complete paragraphs for the later presentations. There are only 2 sentences written for some sections, which cannot be considered complete paragraphs since these do not have the mandatory 3-5 sentence requirement present. All combined, the essay is weakly written and shows that the writer is not capable of properly writing an academic paper in English. | Holt | Oct 10, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/overview-island-changed-aspect-93685/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## pros and cons of uniforms at schools
In the contemporary decades, there were controversies about the students' dress code when going to school. Meanwhile, several schools have rigidity in wearing uniforms, others have loose surveillance about it. In general, this regulation brings about both merits and demerits and this essay will discuss these aspects.
To begin with, it can be seen that there are numerous benefits of compliance with school outfits. Firstly, The specific dress code may diminish the wealth gap and promote general equality. Living in an epoch where social positions constantly intertwine, uniforms will standardize all in a certain framework. This can make rich pupils not follow expensive brand-name clothes, and simultaneously, students who are in impoverished circumstances don't feel self-deprecating. Secondly, school uniforms can create an identity and make it easier to recognize. Institutions can readily manage their pupils through their uniforms. For instance, if strangers go to the school with negative intentions, staff will easily recognize and prevent them, or in a chaotic crowd of competition, uniforms will become the signature for identifying certain participants coming from what institution. Besides that, school clothes not only can create formality in school but also avoid cases in that students wear inappropriate costumes: short skirts, tight tops, or bright-colored hairstyles.
On the contrary, adopting rigorous regulations results in students can't express their own styles. Following strict attire rules will make pupils not have the right to select their favorite outfits or show their aesthetic tastes. As a consequence, plenty of them will feel frustrated because of not being in freedom of choice. What is more, some uniforms can lead to inconvenience to the pupils since a number of school outfits are unsuitable for outdoor activities. A noteworthy example is the "ao dai" - a traditional costume of VietNam and also uniforms of every high school female - occasionally causes discomfort when moving, and at the same time, danger when driving.
In conclusion, regardless of the disadvantages of uniforms' obligations in some schools, I strongly believe that the pros of dress code surpass its cons. | khangpt2k6 | Oct 9, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/advantages-disadvantages-children-having-93681/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The prompt restatement of the student should have been clearer in reference to the original prompt. The given sentences do not really adhere to the given statement / idea, so the thesis statement that the examiner expected to read was not of a very good quality. It can only be weakly scored because it is basically empty of context. A better paraphrase would have been:
*I can definitely see what advantages there are to wearing a school uniform such as (reason 1) and (connected reason 2). Then again I also consider uniform dreassing in schools as a disadvantage because (reason 1) and (connected reason 2). I would like to explain my opinion so that the public can make their own decision regarding this topic.*
What did the above presentation create for the task accuracy score of the test taker?
1. It created 2 summarized discussion outline presentations.
2. The summarized reasons led to the creation of general discussion considerations for the reader as required by the presentation instructions.
Remember that this is a general statement essay. As such, the prompt does not ask the writer to make a decision for the reader but rather, inform the reader to allow them to come to their own decision. When the prompts provided are along these lines, the writer should present clear reasons and explanations, but allow the readers to come to their own conclusions since the writer is not directed to create a conclusion for the explanation paragraphs. That means the belief of the writer should not be factored into the discussion, most specially in the concluding statement. It should disseminate information, but not make decisions for the reader.
The writer took the correct approach to the discussion though. He kept it general and did not reflect a personal opinion in the paragraphs. Good work on keeping the explanations generalized in terms of opinion presentation. That is exactly the kind of writing this prompt requires. Remember, there are no right or wrong opinions for these types of prompts, only conclusions that the readers can arrive at for themselves based on the given writer considered discussion points. | Holt | Oct 9, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/advantages-disadvantages-children-having-93681/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## history as a mandatory subject
Education is always considered as a fundamental formation to everyone to develop themselves in the future. Therefore, it is hotly-debated topic that divided several different views. Recently, history has become a compulsory subject at high school; however, some stick to the idea that students should spend mostly time on learning natural subjects such as maths, physics. In my opinion, I think that history is a mandatory subject is a right decision
To commence with, thanks to this decision of ministry of education it helps each student in Vietnam be aware of the importance of history. From that they will have the right attitude to this subject. Besides, others often feel bored and say that history does not help them anything in the future, thus owing to becoming a core subject, it makes change their mind and gradually respect this subject more.
Furthermore, that learning history as an important subject at school also help students have a huge broad of knowledge about it. After accumulating these lessons about history in the classroom, students can comprehend deeply what ancestors sacrificed to protect the country's independence and create a peaceful life as now. As a result, they will try their best to study well and have an optimistic outlook to their living. These devotion of the former generation is a endless resource of motivation to fulfill themselves better. Moreover, history also bring them enormous precious experiences and meaningful lessons in order to avoid the same situations in the past.
In conclusion, it is logical when history is announced to be a mandatory subject . Being a senior at high school, I am trying to learn history well in particular and other subject in general to deserve with what people in the past did. | anh123456 | Oct 9, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/history-become-core-subject-high-school-say-93680/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The first 2 sentences in the prompt restatement could cause the paragraph to receive a failing score due to the discussion deviation that the thoughts presented. These are no doubt the personal opinion of the writer and as such, should not be included in the prompt restatement. It could be used to present his personal opinion, but it cannot be used as a part of the topic restatement since it does not relate to the actual discussion topic. Education is not the focal point of the essay. The subjects taught in school are the target of the discussion. Those are 2 different topics for discussion. Focus on the one related to the original presentation.
thanks to this decision of ministry of education it helps each student in Vietnam
The writer has created a country focused discussion which is not the expected response format for this essay. The writer's opinion must be presented in a general manner that can apply to any country in the world. He cannot focus specifically on his home country because there is no specific country given in the discussion. Also, the reference to the country, but not a personal experience of the writer tends to disqualify this as an example. Had he related the decision to his own learning process, then the given paragraph would have better met the writing requirements.
help students
There is a disconnection between the previous reasoning paragraph and the second reasoning paragraph. That is because the first reason focuses on Vietnam alone while the second paragraph uses the general (worldwide) reference instead. Hence the lack of cohesiveness between the paragraph presentations for the public opinion discussion.
Being a senior at high school, I am trying to learn history well
This explanation is not acceptable as a part of the concluding summary. This is a personal opinion presentation and therefore, should be the 3rd paragraph of the essay. This needs to be more properly and fully developed in order to receive a proper scoring consideration in relation to the public opinion paragraphs.
The essay was concluded without the proper reverse paraphrase presentation. So the examiner will see this as an open ended essay. He will score down the task accuracy of this essay, leading to a failing score based on 2 reasons:
1. The inclusion of an irrelevant reference leading to a topic deviation in the prompt paraphrase
2. The lack of a proper summarized discussion point presentation and topic restatement in the concluding summary
These are but a few of several errors in this presentation in relation to the scoring considerations that could hinder the ability of the writer to reach an overall passing score consideration. | Holt | Oct 9, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/history-become-core-subject-high-school-say-93680/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## Tiktok evaluation
In recent years, Tiktok has become a viral social media application that attracts many people to use, especially adolescents. While this trend would create considerable benefits, there will be certain drawbacks that need to be considered.
On the one hand, young people can have a relaxing time and learn much from Tiktok without consuming much time. This platform allows users to watch short and funny videos from many places in the world with various content, which helps them relieve stress and pressure from their studying. Furthermore, there are many channels for education or soft skills that young people can benefit from. Another advantage that Tiktok brings to users is making income from this popular application. Specifically, the youth can earn money from the content they create on Tiktok, which is a great way to help them become financially independent and offer them an opportunity to become potential content creators.
On the other hand, watching Tiktok uncontrollably affects adolescents' behavior. Due to different content from Tiktok, users may watch certain offensive and unsuitable ones. As a result, they can imitate the way people act on Tiktok wrongly, such as cyberbullying their friends or behaving toward their parents inappropriately. Moreover, as other social media applications, spending much time watching Tiktok has a negative impact on adolescents' health. They might strain their eyes in front of the phone's screen for hours and become inactive in physical activities. Thus, this may cause many related diseases such as obesity or near-sightedness.
In conclusion, although there are certain downsides along with the upsides of this trend, young people should be encouraged to manage their time spent on using Tiktok to take the greatest advantage of this social media application. | Buckwheat | Oct 9, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/teenagers-spend-lot-time-watching-tiktok-93679/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The examiner may not consider this essay as properly developed and discussed as the advantage and disadvantage paragraphs were not cohesively developed. As the writer knows, part of the scoring rubic is the cohesiveness and coherence of the paragraph. When discussing an A v. D prompt, this means that the 2 paragraphs need to connect based on previously stated reasons.
Each paragraph should clearly explain first, why an opinion is an advantage then second, why it is actually a disadvantage. The prompt requires proper subject and analysis development in order to score based on advanced writing skills. The current presentation will receive a passing score, but cannot score based on advanced considerations due to the lack of connection between the topic presentations. While the analysis is acceptable, it is not fully and properly developed based on full scoring considerations.
The writer also misuses the apostrophe in the presentation. This seems to be a common error among ESL students. They misplace the apostrophe, creating an ownership format when he was trying to indicate a plural word form. It will help if the student continues to improve his grammar rules knowledge to avoid deductions in that scoring section.
Further problems occurred in the score because the summary conclusion offers a solution suggestion. This is not a required part of the discussion and will result in a severe TA score deduction. The essay could potentially be given a failing score since the essay is now seen as not having a properly formatted concluding statement. Saying "In conclusion" without actually concluding the essay in the required format does not create an acceptable and scorable conclusion. | Holt | Oct 9, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/teenagers-spend-lot-time-watching-tiktok-93679/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Please correct my writing. Thank you so much!
## the data on imported seafood
The charts and table paint an overall picture of the value of seafood imported to the UK and the percentages of the imports from three countries over a twenty-year period.
Overall, while Polish imports dramatically diminished from 1987 to 2007, the importation of seafood from Germany and Sweden sharply increased. Also, imports to the UK nearly doubled in those 20 years.
Whereas imports from Poland in 1987 were nearly double the combined imports from Germany and Sweden, they had dwindled to 30% of the total by 2007. Conversely, German seafood imports increased four-fold by 1997, although after that, the rise over the next ten years was minimal. Similarly, the tonnage of seafood coming from Sweden into the UK increased substantially from 28% in 1987 to 43% in 2007.
In terms of the value of seafood imports, it climbed from $7.4 million in 1987 to nearly double in 2007.
* | writea | Oct 9, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/wtiting-percentage-sea-food-imports-three-93677/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The essay appears to be 2 words short of the 150 minimum presentation. So there will be word count percentage deductions for the missing words. Yes, it is going to be a minimal deduction but, still a deduction which should be avoided as much as possible. Make sure that the minimum count will be met. What I suggest that the students do during the practive test is to make sure that they write 5 lines of words / sentences. That way there will not be a need to keep track of the word count. Learning to judge the word count by visual presentation will help a lot towards avoiding the word count deductions.
Images always contain highlightable information that need to be presented in the summary paragraph. In this instance, the incomplete summary overview was the reason why the word count minimum was not met. The listing of required information was lacking in the paragraph. This is necessary for the proper short report form requirement for the task.
The additional problem point for this essay is the last paragraph that does not contain completely developed information. It is unacceptable in this essay to present only a single sentence. That does not qualify as a complete paragraph. A complete paragraph in the task 1 and 2 essay should always be composed of 3-5 sentences. | Holt | Oct 9, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/wtiting-percentage-sea-food-imports-three-93677/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## Impact of Music on Society
Music has numerous impacts in our daily life. It is not only to help people relax after working times or convey the cultures to different places, but it is also a suitable method of connecting people of many ages and areas together. From my perspective, I strongly agree with the given statement, and this essay will discuss the reasons why and elaborate upon them with many supporting ideas.
To begin with, music can transfer the characteristics of that country. For example, Vietnam has many national instruments like monochord. When some composers are inspired by them and use them to create the beat and perform the songs on social media or on stage, it can get attention from the audiences. After watching the performance and being attracted, the audiences may look for information about the songs, and the birth of the instrument, and they can learn how to use this. In addition, in many music videos, artists also use many spectacular scenes, the national clothes. For an instant, Hoang Thuy Linh always uses these things in her music videos, and a lot of foreign people love this. They are interested in her talents, her beautiful voice, and the beauty of her culture.
The second main point is that music can help people of many ages connect. Many well-known bands such as Westlife, and One Direction, or singers like Michale Jackson have several songs that all generations can enjoy. Family members like parents and children can share their feelings about the songs. Furthermore, the adults also tell the young the experience or stories that the songs contain like war, love, and life's experiences. Besides, adults may listen to music for the young because of many reasons such as the songs are catchy, or they want to have the topic to communicate with the children.
On the whole, music has numerous advantages for society. Not only it helps people to know the diverse culture, but also brings people together. | hominhhieu2506 | Oct 8, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/agree-music-good-way-bring-people-different-93675/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The topic is not a restatement but an opinion presentation of the writer which is not the expected interpretation for the given topic. As such, the topic rephrasing will receive a failing consideration. The writer must avoid immediately discussing his opinion in the first paragraph as that is a content and format specific paragraph which establishes the foundational score of the essay. This presentation misses on that mark. The writer's opinion presentation is incomplete because he did offer a measured response, but failed to summarize his reasons for his opinion. The clarity of his opinion will also be scored based upon his summarized reasoning presentation and its relevance to the discussion + his opinion.
As for the reasoning paragraphs, I would have to say that these are solidly presented and uses relatable examples to support its explanation. There is no problem with the relevance of the examples and the validity of the explanations. The writer uses simple English words that, since these are properly used in the sentence, created understandable sentence structures that allow for easy understanding of the text. These are definitely C+C increasing considerations although the actual mix of various sentence types will be considered missing to a partial extent.
When it comes to the concluding summary, there is a problem with the presentation because it does not meet the reverse paraphrase requirements of the presentation. In fact, it offers a prompt deviation that will negatively affect the final score of the presentation. | Holt | Oct 8, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/agree-music-good-way-bring-people-different-93675/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## Is the Internet "Making Us Stupid"?
***Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.**
Write at least 250 words.*
Nowadays, it is possible for people to go out without cellphones. The internet makes our life easier and more convenient in every simple task, such as finding ways, reserving a table and even seeing a doctor. That is, people rely on their smartphones to solve most of the problems in living than in the past days. It is obvious that the internet makes us smarter but also degrades our independent thinking in the long term.
The curiosity is decreased by the online packaged information, when people are getting used to looking for the answer on the searching engine website. It is common that all we need information can be found on the internet, with the anonymous author, social media or business campaigns; however, it doesn't mean those contents are correct. By knowing these information with a simple click on the phone, it is efficient and fast to learn but no one will spend time solving the real problems simultaneously. That is, the process of finding solutions may be ignored. Although the internet provides accessible information, it actually harms the brainstorming process.
Misleading information leads to the crisis of critical thinking in every aspect of life. Everyone knows the online resource varies thoughts in our minds; nevertheless the exposure of messages changes our conception and norms. For instance, the news of the election for city mayors in 2018, the candidate of Taipei city mayor used strategies on social media to win the support of the young generation. In that period of time, people see all the advertising, policy discussion and videos covered with hopeful impressions, gradually lose their own viewpoints. The internet accelerated the message spreading and leads to a kind of brainwashing easily than the traditional marketing method. Therefore the misleading messages online makes people have difficulties in distinguish the accuracy and ambiguity, the influential impression planted in our mind become stereotype in the future.
In conclusion, the disadvantage of the internet outweighs the benefits for our human intelligence. While people have no interests in finding new ideas in life, it is hard to say the society can be improved in the near future. Also, the media exposure conveys the phenomenon of whether the audience needs to choose information or not by critical thinking. | Iris HSIEH | Oct 8, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/internet-making-stupid-93674/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The writer has shown that there was no double checking of the information written prior to the submission of this essay for grading. The prompt restatement paragraph and writer's opinion presentation are conflicting and therefore, confuses the examiener as to what the real opinion of the writer is. For specificity, refer to the following sections of the aforementioned text:
it is possible for people to go out without cellphones.
people rely on their smartphones
This is the conflict of interest that immediately creates a failing TA score and GRA score. How can it be possible for people to not bring their phones with them and yet, rely on their cellphones? See the problem in the discussion presentation? The essay has already failed the most important pre-scoring aspects at this point that will prevent this essay from receiving a passing score. | Holt | Oct 8, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/internet-making-stupid-93674/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
## co2 emissions per person
The line graph illustrates the average amount of carbon dioxide each person emitted in 4 European countries during a 40-year period from 1967.
Overall, whereas the figure of the UK took the first place despite having dropped, that of Portugal was opposite.
As can be seen from the chart, the mass of carbon dioxide emitted in Italy started the period at about 4 tonnes and continuously grew in the next 3 decades. In 1990 it peaked at nearly 8 tonnes and remained stable until the end of the period. Similarly, the figure of Portugal went up steadily by over 4 tonnes until 1997 and leveled off at over 5 tonnes during the last 10 years. Despite this marked growth, it took the last place in the end.
However, carbon emissions in both the United Kingdom and Sweden followed downward patterns. In spite of a consistent decline from 11 tonnes to 9 tonnes, residents in the former country still emitted the most carbon dioxide in 2007. Meanwhile, although in the first 10 years there was an increase of more than 1 tonne, this figure of the latter country considerably fell during the next decade and hit the bottom of around 5 tonnes, the same ending point as Portugal.
* | littlered990 | Oct 7, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/line-graph-carbon-dioxide-emission-93670/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The acemmary overview takes too many information shortcuts that it led to an uninformative presentation. Never leave out the specific years or dates of mention, always include a listing of the information for comparison, and provide the measurement type and basis. These are all necessary for the proper understanding of the trending statement on the part of the reader. A complete summary effectively completes the report as a rundown, without the need to read the actual report hence the need to present a concise and coherent summary statement.
The report should use more of the actual dates rather than alternatives in this case since the writer did not properly state the period of coverage in the summary, and he kept using alternate references in the report. It would be beat for him to focus on proper information dissemination in relation to LR usage. | Holt | Oct 7, 2022 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/line-graph-carbon-dioxide-emission-93670/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
This essay can not see the clear analysis or outlines of the graph,
maybe because it is too detailed for the numbers but lose focus on the explanation and result.
some pronoun misleads the reading comprehension, such as the former, the latter. | Iris HSIEH | Oct 7, 2022 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/line-graph-carbon-dioxide-emission-93670/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
***TOPIC*:
*Nowadays, distance-learning programs have gained in popularity, but some people argue that courses can never be taken as good as those by attending a college or university in person.
## To what extent do you agree or disagree?***
That people demand different ways of learning has led to the growth of online courses. It is commonly believed by some that learning in person is better than online courses, I strongly agree with this statement for several reasons.
There is no doubt that learning online has various barriers that lecturers could not handle. First and foremost, the duration of online courses might be interrupted due to error connections that result from weak internet accessibility or overloading accession. Thus, the disconnection might cause confusion and lead to time-consuming during the class. Apart from it, mentors might not be able to observe whether or not attendees are focused exclusively on the class since some students do other activities such as sleeping or eating behind cameras. As a result, learning effectively might be impossible in such online courses.
Moreover, there are several obstacles that could not be solved directly during online classes. It is clear that some students might find it difficult to accumulate side skills along with practical knowledge in distance-learning because they could not interact with their peers face-to-face in order to gain personal abilities in teamwork, such as leadership or cooperating. Furthermore, the interaction between students and teachers is also limited in online courses since there might be thousands of attendees in the class and mentors could not respond immediately when there are questions from students. Therefore, it is considered to be an inconvenient learning approach.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that online courses could not provide effective learning as the mainstream classes for the reasons of network interruptions and difficulties interacting with mentors and peers. | AnnaDao | Oct 7, 2022 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/online-courses-good-person-93668/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |