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So, my day was pretty ok. I gave my Daddy his gifts and stuff and that was fun, and other than that I really didn't do much. I played the computer game Civilization. Oh my goodness, that game is ADDICTING! Wow. So, anyway, everyone's leaving tomorrow. :( I'm going to miss everyone. A few of my really really good friends are going, and it'll be hard without them here. I doubt they'll miss me at all. Oh well. Oh yeah! I cleaned my bathroom today too. Blah. I hate cleaning my bathroom. I hate cleaning altogether actually. I hope I'm rich when I get older so I can hire someone else to do that, or I'll try to marry someone who likes to clean. Ha. Like that'll happen. I mean the marrying part, not the finding someone who will clean part. :) Anyway, talking to kelly. I'm going to miss her. Her and Chris the most. :( I'll write more later....maybe.

15,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

At least it's raining. :) I love rain.

28,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

You know, it's funny. I seem to like him less and less every day. OK, it's not funny. It's terrible, but really. He makes me so angry, and so mad almost every time I talk to him. Argh. Some people really annoy me.

27,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

So, I was looking at my very first blog entry which isn't even on this page, and I just thought..."wow Catie, you were SUCH a dork." Yeah, that entry actually scares me. I wonder if in 7 months I'll think the same thing I did of my Novemeber 14th first entry into one of these. I'm kind of surprised I've actually kept up writing in this. I've never actually kept a real diary. I've always felt like I was just whining to paper. I don't know how this is different, it's just whining to a computer screen, but still....I've kept up with it. I wonder how much longer I'll keep uo with it. I don't intend on stopping writing anytime soon. Hmmm....interesting thoughts. 'Eh, I'm not in much of a reflective mood right now, so I think I'll go read and wait for a good storm to come! :)

27,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Hm, ok, so that was odd. It just started raining a bit, and then it got sunny again, and now cloudy. Weird. I wonder if storms will be coming through all day. I actually like storms as long as they aren't too...errr....deadly...yes, that's it. I usually like to read during storms, like, snuggle up with my blanket and all my stuffed animals and just read and listen to the rain and thunder. It's fun, but...I guess I have a weird definition of fun. I can't believe they're all coming home Monday. I'm pretty excited, but time here has also gone by extremely fast. I've gotten to hang out with a lot of people, and meet new people, and have a blast. 13 days til Michigan too. Plus, I found out that we're almost positively going to Italy for Thanksgiving this year. I'm SO excited. I love Italy. I really do. It's one of my favorite places in the world. :) And if my mom gets the bonus she might be getting for this thing she's working on...too hard to explain...then we get to fly first class. :) That would be so awesome. First class on an overseas flight. I could actually sleep. Not that coach is all that uncomfortable for a 5'0" person like myself, but still, that's so awesome. I'm really excited, and I can't wait to go. I think though, that if the marching band goes to the Macy's Day thing, I'll miss it, which would not be cool...but still. I love Rome. Hmmm, everything's too quiet in my house. I'm going to go check it out. It makes me nervous when my house is quiet.

27,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

I was having a chat with someone this evening, and they asked me if I cried a lot. It was kind of funny...seeing as I almost never cry. Only when it's something really important to me, or when I just bottle everything up, or when I just listen to a gorgeous song, and emotions come. Most of the time, that's when I cry. Music makes me feel emotions I didn't even know I had. It's amazing. Although I don't want to go into it as a career, I am extremely glad it's part of my life, and I love people who can make great music. I truly truly respect it. Ah, anyway, I'm off to sleep...seriously...

27,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Haha, wow...I'm having so much trouble typing tonight. My fingers are being clumsy for some reason. I have to type like every word twice. Grrrr.

27,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Blah, blah, blah!! I'm not tired, and I actually, for once in my life, don't feel like reading. I don't know why I'm not tired at night. I woke up at a resonable hour today. Hmmm, I think I need to stop writing in here like a loser and go talk to my friends. I was talking to like...5 friends, and all the conversations ended at the same time. Poo. haha. Katharine just told me I should go sleep. Yes, yes I should. Will I? Probably not unfortunately. I should really take my friend's advice. They give good advice. On sleeping at least. I heard Chris and Mike and both Daves were drinking in Germany. It kind of upsets me. Not upsets...but dissapoints. I'm surprised. I mean, I heard they didn't just drink but got drunk. I was especially surprised about one of the Daves. I have talked to him about drinking before, and I asked him if he ever drank, and he was like, "NO!" I remember that so well, because it almost seemed as though I'd offended him with the question at the time. Like, "How could you ask me that? Of course I don't drink you silly girl." Ah well, I guess it's their choice, not mine. They can do what they want, but I guess I lost some respect for Dave. So, I'm off to go talk to cool people because....err...because they're cool. Wheee. I think I'll go to sleep feeling happy. :) Plus, I finished my book, which is nice. I'll need to find a new one though. Ah...I'm off....

27,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Hmmm...I'm debating on whether or not to do this. Probably not. I'm a chicken. A dumb chicken with it's head cut off. I always thought that story about that chicken who lived for like...15 hours after he had his head cut off was interesting...I think it's terrible that someone cut the chicken's head off, but...I still thought it was kind of interesting. I wonder what science is behind that.

27,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

You know, I just realized something. I always worried about how people probably think I'm weird because I go to the park and swing on the swings and listen to my music when I need to think. Well, I don't care. Everyone has a place that they think in, and that just happens to be mine. I don't even know why. It just relaxes me. It helps me filter my thoughts. I think way too much for my own good, and I just...can't think in my house. It's not that my family doesn't give me privacy. They certainly do, but...still. It's just where I go, and I like it, so I don't care if people think I'm weird.

27,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

I guess it's song lyric night.

26,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

And I'd give up forever to touch you 'Cause I know that you feel me somehow You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be And I don't wanna go home right now And all I can taste is this moment And all I can breathe is your llife 'Cause sooner or later it's over I just don't wanna miss you tonight And I don't want the wold to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am And you can't fight the tears that ain't comin' Or the moment of truth in your lies When everything feels like the movies Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am...

26,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

So you're standing on a ledge It looks like you might fall So far down Or maybe you were thinkin' about jumpin' You could have it all If you learned a little patience For though I cannot fly I'm not content to crawl So give me a little credit Have in me a little faith I wanna be with you forever If tomorrow's not too late But it's always too late when you got nothin' So you say You should never let the sun set on tomorrow Before the sun rises today If I am another waste of everything you dreamed of I will let you down If I am only here to watch you as you suffer I will let you down So you're walkin' on the edge And you wait your turn to fall But you're so far gone That you don't see the hands upheld to catch you You could find a fault In the heart that you've been handed For though you cannot fly You're not content to crawl And it's always too late when you got nothin' So you say You should never let the sun set on tomorrow Before the sun rises.. If I am another waste of everything you hoped for I will let you down If I am only here to watch you as you suffer I will let you down So you're standing on a ledge It looks like you might fall... If I am another waste of everything you dreamed of I will let you down If I am only here to watch you as you suffer I will let you down The answers we define Are never what we had in mind So we make it up as we go along You don't talk of dreams I wont mention tomorrow We wont make those promises that we can't keep I will never leave you I will not let you down I will never leave you I will not let you down......... Hmmmm, definitely one of my favorite songs ever. My little quote on this webpage has been the same since I made it a long time ago, and that came from this song.

26,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Kelly and Kathryn and Joanne and Mary Clare and...why did I just type all their names?? Anyway, they invited me to go see the second Charlies Angels movie with them, but 'eh. That's not really my kind of movie. I didn't even really like the first one that much. So, I decided I didn't want to pay money for something I didn't really want to see all that much in the first place. Oh well, a night in with myself isn't bad. Wheee...

26,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

You with the sad eyes Don't be discouraged Oh I realize It's hard to take courage In a world full of people You can lose sight of it all And the darkness, inside you Can make you feel so small

26,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Why is it I freak out so much when I'm afraid that one person is even a tiny bit upset with me?? It's really annoying. I wish I just didn't care. I want Kelly and Chris to come home. I want to talk to one of them, and I can't without emailing them and waiting hours and hours for a response. *Sigh* Monday...come sooner!!!!!!!! :( I'm just frustrated right now...obviously.

26,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Sooo, today I'm just going out with my family and whatnot. It'll be a good time. It always is. I also have to clean my room if I want to get my new furniture. My mom's good at coming up with bribes. Grrr. Ah well. I'm off.

26,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Wow. I have a darn good life. An extremely extremely good life, and I'm just so happy about it. It kind of scares me sometimes too though, like...I'm too lucky. Like, eventually my luck will run out and terrible things will happen. Ah, who knows? I guess all I can do is be thankful for what I have now, and pray that it continues. Hmmm, moving on to goofy mode. Wow, I'm such a loser. I get so weird at night. I should look into this. It's got to be something about the brain late at night. :) Oh...and gummy bears taste delectible at 2:22 in the morning.

26,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

OK, so I didn't sleep. So what? Haha. It doesn't matter anymore. I'm not going to Joanne's again tomorrow. Haha, oh well. We WILL watch it sometime. I'm determined now. We've set the date for July 9th now lol. It'll happen...sooner or later. Probably later, but it will still happen. Hmmm, so, I'm talking to this kid right now. He seems really cool actually. And that's all I'm saying. Yes, that's definitely all I'm saying. Haha. So, I'm going to go finish talking to people and go read or something since I'm not particularily tired.

26,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

So so sooooooo very tired. I'm off to sleep.

26,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Heh. OK, as of right now, I've decided on neither. Both are out. Hehe. Wow, that leaves me right where I started at. Dag nabbit. This is pooey, and so is my computer, it doesn't like me much. But what does? :) Tra la la, I had my grilled cheese earlier. It was yummy, and tonight I'm having chicken parmigan. Hmmm, I wonder how you spell parmigan... Oh well. I think I'm going to I don't know...go be a loser someplace than on my blogger website.

25,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Hmmm, so, I was supposed to go to Joanne's, but she couldn't since she's got to do a lot of work on her mom's closet still. That's ok with me actually. I'm not feeling great anyway. It's just one of those, "blah" days. I think I'll probably go make myself some grilled cheese, and just, read my book or watch tv. YaY! Mmmm.....grilled cheese. I'm so addicted to that stuff. I really am. I think I need to get on a better sleeping schedule, but even if I do, I'll go off it again in MI. So, I guess there really isn't much of a point, because I refuse to go to bed at 9 every night when I go. Tra la la. I'm in a weird mood. Quite a weird mood. Hmmm, I just flung my pony tail thing across the room...Wow, I'm so weird. There's nothing really to type about. I still havem't decided, although I did find something out that could be helpful. Eh, I think I should just forget everything and wait til college. YaY college. Maybe there will be mature guys there. I hope....Joanne's lucky, but it's funny. I don't know how they are going to be apart a whole year next year. Joanne really misses him and it's only a week that he's gone now.I have faith in them though. I think they're going to be one of those high school couples that makes it, and actually stays together. They're like, made for each other. I'm really happy for both of them. :) Anyway, I think I'm going to go make my grilled cheese now, and read or something. Hmmm, I never sign this thing anymore. Oh well.

25,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

I've figured something out. Guys don't like girls like me. They like mysterious girls, or funny girls, or interesting girls, or even girls that seem innocent. Hmmmm. I don't think I want to change myself, but....grrr. It still makes me angry. 16 days...only 16 days. It'll be nice to get away from Naperville. Very nice. I can't wait to go on the jetski's, and go tubing, and.....just lie in the hammock and read. :) So relaxing. *Sigh* ARGH! July 11th, WHY WONT YOU COME SOONER??? Oh well. Such is life. Hehe. Anyway, off to sleep. Nighty night.

25,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Well, at least this thing finally works. I guess I can write a little about my night, but not too much since I want to get some sleep since I'm going to Joanne's at 1:00 tomorrow. Tonight was ok. I was supposed to go out with Erica, Brett, and this kid Roger, but it didn't end up happeneing so I just went to Joanne's instead. Heh. It was alright. We just watched the first Harry Potter movie, and Kathryn kind of ruined part of the fifth book for me. Sadly, I think se did it purposely. Like...the way she said it, and when she did it, it felt like she knew exactly what she was saying. Kelly and I obviously weren't too happy. Oh well. It was still ok. Everything with Diane is all good now! :) I'm so happy it is, because I just...I don't know, things were awkward for a bit I guess. Man, everyone seems so aggravated and irritated lately. It's weird. It's like everyone needs a vacation from each other. Like everyone needs to get away. I don't know, it's just odd. Man, I wish my mommy were home. I need to talk to her about this decision I'm trying to make. I don't know. I kind of wish I had someone who I could talk to about this, but...there are very few people I trust, and even them, it's not easy to talk about people I like with... I guess we'll see what happens. I'm thinking of making a list of why I like both, and then deciding, but that just seems so...I don't know. I feel like I should know. I feel like I should feel in my heart which one's right. I guess.... Who knows? I think I just need sleep. I was absolutely looony five minutes ago haha. I guess I've gotten into serious conversation with the person I'm talking to so I've gotten more serious, but I love when I can be goofy. I love just feeling silly and not caring what other people think. Woooo. Anyway, I think I'm just going to go to sleep soon, maybe read a few pages of my book. Not Harry Potter. Ahh....byebye! :)

25,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Argh.....I wrote a whole thing and blogger was dumb, and didn't publish it.

25,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

I just, couldn't sleep. I don't know. I tried reading, usually that makes my eyes tired, I tried watching tv, I tried just lying down for an hour. Argh. I don/t know what's up with me, but I know I wont want to do anything tomorrow because I'll be SO tired, and I know someone will call me, because that ALWAYS happens when I'm too tired, or too...I don't know, anti-social to do anything. I'm going to Joanne's on Thursday to watch Hitch Hiker's since it kind of got ruined last time. Eh, oh well. I kind of wasn't expecting much when I went to her house in the first place since I knew Kathryn was going. I mean, wow, that sounded mean, but what I meant by that was that Kathryn hasn't read the books or anything, so...it really wouldn't have been much fun for her probably. We probably wouldn't have ended up watching the shows anyway, which is what happened. It was ok, since we went walking and to the park and stuff but, eh. Oh well. Stuff happens. And then tomorrow night, I guess Brett mentioned doing something with Erica and Roger. I have no clue who Roger is, but...that's ok. I hope we all end up doing something. I've never hung out with Brett outside of school. I think it would be fun. I really respect him as a person. So, we'll see if we all end up actually going. Sigh, I'm sleepy, but I can't sleep. Ridiculous. Oh well. I'll just keep typing and hopefully I'll get tired soon. I'm still excited for Michigan haha. I feel like such an idiot, but I am!! I haven't seen Conor in a year, and I don't really know Dan all that well, so it'll be cool to get to know him better, and of course Sara and Lauren, I'm always excited to see. They're fun to be with. And now Sara doesn't drink anymore so I'm even more excited about that! Someone else to hang out with when everyone goes drinking. I still need to call Lauren to make...errr....plans to get certain people back. Heh. Heh. I met this really really incredibly cool kid today. I would love to hang out with him if he lived around here, but eh. Such is life. I miss Kelly and Chris. I think it's weirder not having Chris around though. I mean, Kelly, I hadn't had the chance to hang out with yet this summer at all, which I fully intend to change. I've been emailing her everday, well...except the past two days. My emails all messed up. Grrrr! But, Chris...is weirder. Like, it's weirder having him gone. I'm so used to his presence. I talk to him at least once a day, or see him, so...it's just strange to think, "oh I have to tell Chris this" and then not be able to. Hmmmm, I guess being tired makes me write more or something. Hey, I think I am tired! I think I'm going to go try to sleep again soon. I hope it works this time. I'm kind of confused about some stuff right now, and I just wish I knew what ...I guess, what certain people think of me. Sometimes I really really just....want to know what people think of me, all of it. Good or bad, I just want to know, and other times, I completely fear it. I avoid asking people questions that might make them tell me what they think of me. Heh, I avoid a lot with people. It's really terrible. Oh, oh!!! I'm going to the DT concert July 19th. I am SO excited. So so so so soooooo excited. I've never been to a concert before, and I get to go to this one with awesome people. It's going to be Kelly, Jim, Alex, Chris, me, and this kid Tony. I've never really talked to Tony before but, but he was in my P.E. Leadership class first semester. He seemed like a cool kid. Alex made me a bunch of CD's, like 10 I think of excellent music. I'm excited to get them from him. He's such a nice kid. :) I offered to pay him for them but he was like, "No!" Heh. I have some awesome friends. I think when Kelly gets home I'm going to see if she wants to just get together, hang out, and look at Germany pictures, maybe watch Monsters Inc. again. :) Such a great movie. I hope things are ok with Diane now...I think they are, but I don't know. I think I'll call her tomorrow. I'll see what she's doing. See if she wants to go shopping or something. Hm, I haven't been shopping in a while! That sounds fun...:) I guess it all depends on what time I wake up and how I feel. I'm not feeling so great right now. My tummy really hurts. Argh. Oh well. I'm off to try to sleep...yet again. Hopefully this time it'll work! :)

25,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Hmmmm. Well, I just don't know now...I talk to one, and think I've decided but then talk to the other. Argh. I don't like making choices.

24,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

I miss my cat. :( I really miss her. I wish she were here. She's be right by my side too. I could tell her stuff.

23,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

So, I just went out with my mom and stuff today. It was fun. I found the furniture set I think I want, but it doesn't have the bed I want! Grrr! I love it other than that, so...I'm thinking I'll probably get that set, and get an unfinished bed and paint it a fun color, or finish it in the color of the other furniture. Sooo, I'm going out again soon and I'm trying to decide whether I want to actually dress in something nice. I think I might just stick with my comfy pants. I love them. :) They make me happy. Hmmm, It's only been 12 days since summer started...wow. It seems like a LOT longer. It hasn't even been two weeks. Yay though!! I'm looking forward to Michigan SO SO much!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH! I seriously can't wait. Not only am I going to get to see people I don't get to see often, but I'm going to read Harry Potter too :) YaY!!! Hmmm, this is being dumb so...it's not posting it. Oh well, I'm sure it will eventually. Blogger is weird....

22,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Heh, I was so...busy and stuff I forgot about last night. It was...quite interesting, and not really fun at all. So, Kelly, Joanne, Mary Clare and me all go in Mary Clare's car, and Kathryn goes in hers. So, we all meet at Joanne's, and, I don't know...we were trying to decide who to follow downtown, but we all decided to go to the new parking garage since we didn't think there would be any parking in the old one. So, we start off, thinking Kathryn was following us, but then Kathryn cut us off, so we figured, "ok, I guess we're following her now." So, we follow her, but she goes to the old parking garage, and on the first level. We knew we wouldn't get a spot in there, so we go to the top level and find a spot. We walk down to the first level and look for Kathryn and we can't find her anywhere, so after a while, we call her sister at home and ask her to call Kathryn, because we don't know Kathryn's dad's phone, which is what she had. Sooooo, we tell her sister to tell Kath to meet us at Barnes & Noble, and so Kathryn finally does meet up with us...and she was SO mad. I have NEVER seen her so mad in my life. She actually yelled at us. I felt like I was being yelled at by my mother, and then Mary Clare says something, and I just saw it in Kathryn's eyes. I KNEW she'd leave, so she walks away, and Joanne and I follow her. I didn't really agree with her being so mad, but...I just didn't want this thing to be a big deal. I wanted her to stay and have a fun evening.So, we chased her and it was funny because she was walking super fast, and Joanne and I stopped and talked for a minute then ran after her, and then did that again. It was funny running after her because I felt like I was in some movie in slow motion like..."GEEETTT OOOOUUUUTTT OOFF THHEEEE WAYYYYY!!!!!!!" but anyway, finally she said she just needed ten minutes and she'd meet us back at B&N, and so, we start walking back, and Kelly and Mary Clare meet us halfway, and we start talking for a bit, and then go back to B&N, and heh, Kathryn was there already...so, not only could she not find us the first time, but also the second time we weren't where we said we would be. And the problem was, that was the attitude that lingered the whole night. Nobody in the group was too thrilled. We went to the riverwalk, and we got ice cream, and Kathryn apologized and all but still...it was just odd. Oh well, I guess I still had an ok time. Oh and, ok, i wore my pink hoodie because it's comfortable and stuff, and so I was walking down the street, and this guy in a group says, "she's cute, the one in pink" and I try to digest this because...heh, not many people say that, and so...I end up nearly walking into a pole, and THEN if that wasn't enough, I'm laughing so hard from walking into the pole, I walk into a SECOND pole! Wow. Joanne just couldn't stop laughing. Seriously, she's never going to let me live that up. She's going to tell my children that, and then....AHHHH!!!! Joanne, I'm going to hurt you!! Oh well...haha. Then, today was a lot of fun. I went shopping and got new shoes, and and and...I went out to dinner and I saw Finding Nemo again. I saw Brandon there too!!! :) It was amazing, he was with his family and I with mine, and we all sat in the same row. It was funny stuff. Ah, and now...I think I'm just off to a relaxing evening by myself. I think I'll go read actually...

22,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Wow, I really hope she forgives me. I did have fun with her, and I just happened to be in a bad mood. I even asked her if we could go to Great America sometime this summer. I don't know. I feel so bad. I'm sorry diane. I'm really truly sorry. It wasn't you, it was my bad mood and I'm sorry I took it out on you. That's what I'm going to tell her. I think that she'll understand. I think she knows what it's like to have a bad few days. I hope she does at least.

22,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Ohhh great, now Diane thinks I'm mad at her because of Pizza Hut and whatnot... :( It wasn't that I didn't have fun at Pizza Hut, it's that I was just in such a bad mood beforehand...that, I just didn't even really let myself have a good time. Oh well. I'll call her later and apologize. I didn't mean to bring my bad mood down on her, and I really did appreciate that she invited me. That was probably the one good thing about that day. Oh well, I'll talk to her and apologize and hopefully she'll forgive me.

22,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Ohhh great, now Diane thinks I'm mad at her because of Pizza Hut or whatever. :( It wasn't that I didn't have fun at Pizza Hut, it's that I was just in such a bad mood beforehand...that, I just didn't even really let myself have a good time. Oh well. I'll call her later and apologize. I didn't mean to bring my bad mood down on her, and I really did appreciate that she invited me. That was probably the one good thing about that day. Oh well, I'll talk to her and apologize and hopefully she'll forgive me.

22,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

SPIRIT is your chinese symbol! urlLink What Chinese Symbol Are You? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss that never lessens and always blows your partner away like the first time. urlLink What kind of kiss are you? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla Hmmm, I think I'll add the rest after I go finish socializing. Blah. I feel compelled to socialize and these aren't even my friends.

05,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

That's kind of funny considering I don't think I'm really that truting with most people. Wow, these quizzes are fun...I think I'll take more.

04,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

You represent... naivete. So innocent and trusting... you can be very shy at times, but it's only because you're not sure how to act. You give off that "I need to be protected vibe." Remember that not all people are good. Being too trusting will get you easily hurt. urlLink What feeling do you represent? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla

04,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Wow, it just ocurred to me that I went to bed at a decent hour last night. Amazing.

04,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

I don't like throwing parties, especially when it's not my party, but my parents, so I still get stuck doing cleaning and cooking and stuff, but I don't get to see anyone really.

04,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

So, I just got back from Meijer with my mommy. It was fun. I got a bunch of stuff. I got a hoody, like I need any more of those. Sheesh, I need to stop buying hoodies. They're so comfy though, so they're addictive. YaY hoodies! But, no, bad bad bad me for buying another one. I have like...ten! Who needs that many hoodies? Anyway, I also bought a new purse, and another black and white type shirt. I think I need pastels in my wardrobe. Ah well. I like dark colors so I'm sticking with them. I also got a really neat silvery sparkly belt, and then I got a picture frame. I'm going to stick my favorite picture of my grandma on one side, and then...I don't know. I'm thinking maybe another picture of my grandma on the other side since it's like, a connected picture frame. Maybe I'll find a picture of my mom, me, and my grandma. That would be really neat. I think that's what I'll try to do. I really just have this sudden surge of...sadness, and loss. I miss her so much right now, and I wish I could just call her and talk to her about stuff right now. Argh. I just keep thinking of the last time I saw her and the last thing I said to her and stuff. It was, "I love you Grandma, see you soon," and she said, "You too Catie." I could tell she was upset. She knew as well as I did that I wouldn't get to see her again. I guess those are great last words to say to someone though. I'm glad I got the chance to say them to her, and I'm glad that I did spend last summer in Michigan. Yeah, I was sort of alone, but I had my cousins, and I really like being alone. My family worried about me because I liked being alone so much. They thought I was really really depressed. I don't see them that often, so I understand why they thought that, but that just made me feel even worse, because I didn't want them thinking I was really depressed and worrying about me along with Grandma. *Sigh* I need to go do something to get myself out of this. I don't really want to go read. Well...I do, but I need to stop. I've been reading so much by the end of summer, I'm not going to have anything to read anymore. I've gotten like...addicted to reading. I think I'm going to read that book, "God's Debris," tomorrow. It's had a really strong impact on everyone who has read it so far, so we'll see how much my beliefs hold up. I'm pretty sure they will. I mean, I'm open-minded, but I do have a strong set of beliefs, and I guess we'll have to see if this book changes anything. I'm having my mom read it too, but...not my dad I don't think. I think it would just make my dad mad. My dad's beliefs are like...set in stone. Nothing changes his opinions. NOTHING. So, I know all this book will do is make him mad. I'm sure of it. Hmmmm, what else could I do? I don't know if I really want to watch TV, and I don't want to watch a movie, because look at what the last movie I watched by myself did to me. Poo. The Breakfast Club would be ok, but I don't have that soo...nevermind. I could go turn off my away message and actually talk to people. Nah. Forget that. I don't know if I can handle talking to people right now. I feel like if I talk to the wrong person I'll end up making myself mad. I could go to bed, but...not quite yet. Ah well. I'll find something. Maybe there is something good on TV since it's the Fourth of July. Kind of funny how I didn't do anything today that was Fourth of July'ish. Ah well, my parents are having a big party tomorrow night so...I'll probably stay locked up in my room tomorrow too. :) Maybe I'll go rent some movies tomorrow. OK, I'm going to stop typing now. Really.

04,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

I don't know what's up with me lately. I think I sort of found the source of my problem. I think it's my Grandma. When she died, I was upset...but, I don't know. It was weird. I didn't feel like I was as upset as I should be, and I think because my Grandma gave me The Sound of Music, and because she liked it too, and since I watched it, it's triggoring memories, and I want to talk to her again and I know I can't. I just really miss her right now. It's hard, because I want to talk about it with my mom, but I don't want to make her upset too. Oh well. We're going to Meijer now because...everyone was busy so no one could go see fireworks, and whatnot. I'm not really a huge fan of fireworks anyway. I mean, I like them, but...I can do without them. I guess maybe it was that accident I had when I was 6... Don't want to remember that...I'm out of here. So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night...

03,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

I will never tell you this But I’m scared of falling apart It may seem like I’m holding it together But the weather is making it hard Never mind the time or the spinning of your head I can tell my life was changing Since the minute I met you And if I stop, ever thinking of you, I’ll probably choke on the words I never said If I, stop, ever thinking of you I will bury my heart and fall back in my bed And what a sight that’ll be

03,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Wow, I'm in a weird mood, and it's not a mood I particularily like. I can't shake it off though. I'm trying to think of something to do to get rid of it, but...I can't. It's weird. Ever since I watched The Sound of Music I've been in this mood. :( Poo.

03,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

OK, seriously, I think I pulled a muscle in my back...

03,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

OK, so, I went out to dinner with everyone yesterday and we got pizza, and we drew another one of those diagrams. Haha. We are such losers. At least the waitress didn't ask for the diagram this time. I bet, last time, they brought it into the kitchen and hung it up on a board that says, "All-time dumbest customers." Haha, good times. Anyway, then we went back to Kelly's and just hung out for a while. It was fun. We played Clue, and some other games and we talked and stuff. We are such losers though. All of us were like, ready to sleep by 11:00 so we just watched Clueless, and then we acted really dumb, because I don't know, because we get silly when we're tired, and Joanne and I were making funny noises, like a like a like a like a like a like a like...semi truck. Haha, "I have so much energy I could run a marathon from Athens to Greece!" Haha, good times good times. Good inside joke sleepover. Oh, and when we watched Clueless, I haven't actually watched that movie in years, and a LOT more of it made sense to me now, like the whole thing where she asks if they have herbal refreshments and stuff. Haha, funny times, funny times. I didn't get like ANY sleep though. My back hurts so much. I think I must have done something to it. Before it just sort of hurt, now I think it's trying to kill itself. Self-destructing back. Whooo. So, whenever I try to get up from lying down, it kills and blah. I don't like you back! Plus, Kelly's house is extremely warm compared to mine, so...I was really warm all night. Ah well, it was fun just the same. And now, I have to go clean since my parents are having a party. I think I'll magically dissapear when people start coming though. I don't like being around too many grown-ups. It's scary.

03,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

My mom thinks something is wrong with me. Heh. She keeps asking me, "Catie, are you sure you're ok?" "Yes mom, I'm fine." "Are you sure? Because I worry. You just seem so...sad." "No, seriously, I'm fine." Haha, I don't know what I'm doing that makes me seem sad. I mean, my back hurts a lot, so I'm trying not to move as much as I usually would, but I'm not sad. Oh man, tonight's going to be terrible, sleeping on the floor. Ow. I don't even want to think about that right now I don't think. Hmmm. It's hard to write how I'm feeling right now. I don't think I even know. I don't know how to explain it, so I guess it will stay locked away in my head. There's a lot of space up there for stuff like that. Hmmm, I need to go iron my shirt but I really don't want to. I wonder if there's something I can take for my back. Seriously, I feel like an old woman. I've already got white hair, and now my back...what's next? Dentures? Ohhh, thunder..... Scary. Actually, I love storms. They're good when you want to think about something, but I think I'm in one of my moods where if I start thinking, I'll just upset myself. I don't want to be in a bummed out mood before I go to Kelly's. I guess I'll just go iron my shirt then, and get all my stuff ready and whatnot. Sigh. It will be fun, really.

03,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Awww, man, I just was watching The Sound of Music while cleaning my room, and it put me in a really depressed mood. I love that movie so much though. It's probably my favorite movie of all time. My grandma gave it to me when I was like, 8 years old and I just can never seem to get sick of it. It always makes me so sad though, which stinks because I don't want to be sad when I go to Kelly's house tonight. I think I'm going there arend 4'ish, and then we're going out for pizza and stuff, and then we're going back to Kelly's for a sleepover. I think it will be a lot of fun. I haven't been to Kelly's for a sleepover in a while. I feel like I should bring something, I just don't know what. AHHH, why did I watch The Sound of Music?? :( That movie always makes me want to cry. I don't know why I love it so much, but...I do. It's weird, and I can't explain it. I guess people think I'm really weird for loving that movie that much. Not many people even like that movie that I know. Oh well, who cares. It makes me happy, actually, it kind of depresses me, but I love it, so, that's what's important right? Right. Climb every mountain, search high and low Follow every by way, every path you know Climb every mountain, ford every stream Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream A dream that will need, all the love you can give Everyday of your life, for as long as you live Climb every mountain,  ford every stream Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream A dream that will need, all the love you can give Everyday of your life, for as long as you live Climb every mountain, ford every stream Follow every rainbow, till you find your... dream... Haha, wow I'm a loser. Oh well.

02,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

OK, so, I'm weak. I'm a bad kid, and I stayed up until 2:00 in the morning reading. Argh. I'm terrible, seriously. I'm weak, WEAK! I need to get stronger. Be more independant, be less...I don't know, nerdy?? Seriously, what loser stays up until 2:00 in the morning to read. This loser. That's who. Poo!! Hmmm, I think I'll call Joanne tomorrow. I want to help clean up after Rib Fest for Young Life tomorrow night. Tra la la. OK, so, what makes me even more nerdy, is before I go to sleep, I have to come online and see who's on. GOSH, I AM SUCH A LOSER! Ah well, I guess there need to be losers in the world so that cool people can feel cool, and the cycle of life continues. Which reminds me, I want to watch The Lion King. Hmm, I wonder if my tape still works. OK, now I'm just typing stuff for the sake of typing stuff, because I have fun typing, and because I don't know. Because I'm just continuously typing. Hehe. Wow, I'm so werid. Seriously, I feel bad for my roommate in college, and my husband, and....yikes. Poor guy. I know living with people before you're married is a sin, but I feel like I owe it to my future husband, so that he doesn't want a divorce two weeks after we're married. Haha, funny what you think of at 2:19 in the morning... Haha. Wow, I'm being weird. I'm talking to Alex. He's usually the only person I talk to at this time of night. But, we're talking about lots of stuff, mostly my scary family. Haha, I love my family so much, but...it's scary. Or, it would be to people outside of it. Haha Man, I can't wait for Michigan.

02,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

So, my night was good. I finally started to feel better in the afternoon, and I was hoping Kathryn or Joanne or someone would clal, but they didn't. It ended up being ok though since Kelly invited me to go out. So, I went out to dinner with Kelly, Jim, Chris, and Matthew! I hadn't seen him in so long. I was excited. :) He made this really cool thing with forks, the salt shaker, and toothpicks. It was quite neat. Anyway, after that we went over to Ranchview, and there were surprisingly a lot of people out. I wasn't expecting anyone to be there. Ah well. It was a good night. Hmmm.....I don't know about some stuff though. I'm really confused. I don't like being confused.

01,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

BLAH! And ARGH! That's all I've got to say.

30,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

They're home!!!!!! :) I'm so happy. I went out with Chris and Jim today. I wasn't feeling too well, but I really wanted to talk to Chris and see how the trip went and stuff. I haven't really gotten the chance to talk to Kelly much yet, but I will. Wow, I'm really happy they're home. :) Note to self: get the book God's Debris.

30,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

"Embers of times we had and now, here I stand lost in a memory I see your face and smile." ~Wow, what a beautiful song quote.

29,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Well, I've managed to get angry with most of the high school world. Thanks to that dumb kid and him harassing Emily. Who do people think they are? Really? This is what makes me want to get as far away from high school as possible. There are times I really love high school, and then times like now when it dissapoints me so so much. Not, it, but the people dissapoint me. People need to grow up, and realize what they do has consequences, and eventually, what goes around, comes around. I hope. It better. I don't care about how people aren't supposed to want revenge. I do. AHHHHH!!! Why are people like that?? Why can't people be decent to other people?? What the HECK?? I'm sick of this. So sick of it, and I can't believe their friends with him too. They probably think he's really funny. GAH! I'm glad Alex told me. I'll know never to even come close to associating with him. Forget this.

29,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Ugh, this makes me absolutely sick. This kid was being a complete jerk to Alex's sister, and I wanted to see who it was, so I went to his profile, and I like...clicked inside the box, and it sent me to the link that was there, which said, "my profile" or something, and it turned out to be a COMPLETELY disgusting picture. Like, absolutely sickening. I was almost physically ill looking at it. ARGH. It just makes me so mad that there are imature people like that in the world. It really does. I mean, it makes me think, "oh goody, these people are the future of our country." ARGH. I'm just still sick to my stomach thinking about it, and not just the picture, but the whole thing in general. I feel bad for that kid if he has to do that for attention. At least I found out who the kid was so I wont become friends with him. What a jerk. A complete jerk. Guys are sick. Well, not all, but a lot...are really gross. ARGH. I'm really really frustrated now.

29,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Grr

29,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Diane's right. It's not fair. I want to be a boy. Grrr.

29,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

So, today was a good day. I read for the majority of the day, and then tonight I went over to Mary Clare's. Well, first we went to Blockbuster to rent a movie. Haha, I knew it would take forever, and it did. Wow! We all couldn't just decide on a movie. We finally did decide on The Breakfast Club! But than...we realized it was rated R. Haha, we spent forever deciding if we should risk going and trying to get it. Mary Clare had her mom's card with her, but still. It was so funny, and man are we terrible, or I am at least, at doing what I'm not supposed to do. I mean, gosh, I was giggling so much, and...I make a terrible rebel. TERRIBLE! So, we're standing there in line, hoping we get to go to the young guy who looks like he might be more lenient, but nooo, we get the older bald fat guy. He still let us check out the movie. I don't think he cared that much, or the card was fine or something. So, then we went to Mary Clare's and watched it. Ohhh! It's such an awesome movie! It made me happy. I guess I can see why they rated it R in the 80's. I mean, it wasn't bad, but it just had a ton of swearing in it, and I guess some sexual inuendo... Anyway, after that Kathryn left, and Mary Clare, Kelly, Joanne, and I just kind of sat around and talked. It was fun. I'm glad I'm close friends with them, and have them. They're such goreat friends. They're like my little group of best friends. I have scattered friends outside of that, like band people and whatnot, but no groups like that. We're really all close. I never thought I'd have an actual, "group" in high school. I guess I always thought I'd be a loner haha. Kind of funny... We just talked about where we want to go to college, and what we want to do in life, and just some serious stuff. I don't know what I'll do without them when we all go to different colleges. It'll be weird not having them to always go to. So, after a while, we decided we wanted to go out or something, so we went to Colonial, which was fun too. We sat and ate our ice cream and talked and blah blah. It was fun. And then, we just came home, and that was the evening. Exciting stuff I tell you, exciting stuff. I'm quite content right now with just having ice cream, and having a nice night out with my friends. I think I'm going to go to bed earlier than usual tonight and wake up really early tomorrow, go to church, and clean. YaY for church. Boo for cleaning. Ah well, I'll go read my book probably for another 2 hours. That usually happens even if I go to bed before 1. When I don't, it's even worse. I actually want to go to PrincetonReview.com. Kelly, and Kathryn said it was a good college site to go to. So, good night to all, and to all a good night. Haha, that was always such a dumb phrase to me...I never liked it much...

29,June,2003

female

Libra

Student

Just took my last really good shower for a week. There's only well water where I'm going, so...it's not nice to shower in. All those minerals. Ahhhh. My hair. Haha. Maybe I'll bring some shampoo out in the lake with me and wash my hair. haha, that'd be great I'm so going to do that now. Anywho, I am OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) SO LONG SUCKERS!!!!!!!!!

12,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Wow, I actually did it. I stayed up the whole night and did laundry and stuff. Whoooo. Fun stuff. It's also funny how everything seems so much more amusing when you're sleep deprived. :) So, I guess I'll go finish my actual packing and whatnot.

11,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

I think I want to write to keep myself awake,. This staying up all night thing isn't easy AT ALL. Gah. Ah well. I wont be able to write for a whole week too! Unless, I can come online, but...I doubt I'll really have the time to. I seriously just can't wait to go swim in the lake, and go on the boat, and just lie in the sand and read. Mmmmmm. I'm so so excited. I've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately. Like, Joanne leaving in August and stuff. I'm just, really really going to miss her. She's one of the very few people I feel I can trust. I don't know why, but I really feel comfortable telling her important things. I don't think she'd tell anyone. I think she thinks so too about me. I mean, we don't really see each other as often as I'd like, but...when we do talk, it's really awesome because we can tell each other stuff. I still need to think of something to get her for when she goes away. It has to be small so she can bring it, but something useful...or, just, something really good. Ahhh! I need to think of something. I also need to think of something to get my mother for her birthday. Man, I suck at thinking of gifts for people. Hmmmm, I wonder if my other load of laundry is done yet. Probably not. Probably I'm just wishing it's done. Probably I'm just a big loser. Probably I should stop saying, "probably." I'm taking to Alex about my slight problem. I don't know what to do. I mean...he pulled me onto his lap, well, not Alex, haha, but this other guy. No guy has ever done that before. It's just weird, and I don't know what to think. I don't know if I should try going out with him. He is really funny, and nice, but...he does some stuff I don't like, and I guess....I don't know. I really don't. Trouble is, I really like being liked. Being liked just feels really really great. *Sigh* Ah well. I wonder what the meaning of life is. I was just contemplating that question. I think that there isn't a meaning to life in general, but a meaning to each person's life. Like, there's a meaning to my life, and a meaning to the life of the person sitting across from me. Heh, you know what's incredibly mind-boggling though? Thinking of infinity. Or...black holes. It's just...wow. See what happens to my mind late at night? I get weird...strange...psycho................... And then I start using dots. Heh, funny point Alex just brought up in our conversation. "Funny how everyone knows more than me." Heh. So true, in certain situations it's funny how you should know something, and yet, everyone around you knows first. It's just...ridiculous. And, gosh I wish I knew what people thought of me honestly. Like, it'd be nice to know who's worth really trying to be friends with. OK....'nother load of laundry to go put in...whoooo....

11,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Ahhhh, ok, I'm doing laundry and stuff right now. I forgot to say part of my day today. Alex brought me the cd's I asked him for, there were like...ten! It's so amazing. I wont have any trouble trying to pick music tomorrow. Haha. YaY! But, I'm kind of dreading the car ride. Blah. I've never liked car rides that much. Sometimes I do. Actually, come to think of it, they're ok. Haha. Usually I just sleep or read. Problem is, I have trouble reading in the car, because I can't just focus on the page, I see everything going by me so fast on the side, and my stomach starts to go blah. Ah well, I'll sleep, and listen to the music Alex gave me. That rocks so much. I love him! haha. Hmmm, I'm trying to decide what to do between all my loads of laundry. I might just read or something, but eh. I don't have to clean really...for once in my life, my room is semi-clean. Haha, I want it to be too, since we're having neighbors watch our dogs and cat, and...eh, I'd rather my neighbors think I'm a clean psycho girl, instead of a messy one. Hmmm, I wonder if my phone has outrageous roaming charges. Probably. I'll probably just ask if I can use my mom's phone card to call a few people. Who knows though? I'll hopefully be having so much fun....well, I want to miss my friends, but it is only a week. Hmmmm, I don't think I really want to play video games, oooo, the Sims! The Sims ALWAYS makes time go by really fast. Wheee. I love them. It's so cute. Tra la la. I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore, so I'm just going to stop typing...

11,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Haha. My mom says we're leaving somewhere between 7 and 9 tomorrow morning, so we should be leaving at about 9:30.

11,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Wow, I had a really great time today. I spent it with Chris and Matthew, and yeah I'm going to have to stay up all night to get everything done, but it was worth it to have such a good day with them. We just hung out and stuff. I'm going to miss both of them, but it's only a week, so...yeah. I'm really excited though. I can't wait to get there tomorrow afternoon. Woo Hoo. I really do need to go majorly do some laundry, and pack. yikes. I've only got like....twelve hours til I leave.

10,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Hmmm, I'm in a really pensive mood for some reason tonight. It's odd. But yeah.....Oh well, it was cool. I went to the mall, and....heh, I got a halter top. Me....the one who wears long sleeves in summer. Scary scary scary. I also got a new pair of jeans, and a new t-shirt, and yeeeesh, I'm a shopaholic. I admit it. I have a problem. I think that's step one...admitting you have a problem. Hmmm. Yes. Well, anyway, I was going to write about what I'm thinking but I don't really feel like it anymore. I guess I can write about something, because it really bothers me. I wish people would realize how well off they have it compared to the rest of the world. You know, I mean....not all people certainly. I bet people are going to think I'm talking about them in this. Like, certainly not people who are unhappy because of something big that happened, and they can't really help it, or people who's parents are really really tough to live with, but....I guess. I don't know. A lot of times, I think people can be really selfish. I know I can too, but...when it's excessive, that's when it really bothers me. Ah well, I guess I should just go now or something.

10,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

I think my back is finally sort of improving....sort of, hopefully. It's better than yesterday at least. Yesterday was pretty bad. Ah well.

10,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

AHHHH! I'm so excited. Yeah, so I'm going Saturday morning instead of tomorrow afternoon, but it's ok. I bet most of the people will get there on Saturday anyway, and then we'll have a big get together Saturday night. YES! I guess I'm going to go finish some laundry and packing and stuff.

09,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Cancun????????????? CANCUN????? Of all the places to take your son...you take him there. If I could even stand up without my back hurting, I would run and go punch something.

09,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

GAH!!! So, Ryan's parents decided to go on vacation tomorrow. What?? What is this??? His mom told me when I called Ryan's, because I usually end up talking to her for like...fifteen minutes before Ryan, haha, but....GAH!!!!!!!!!! She's like, "Yeah, we decided just this mroning to go." She thought Ryan had already told me, but...noooo, he didn't. He said sorry about a thousand times, and I'm not mad or anything, just extremely bummed. I was going to spend a really nice night with him tomorrow night. We were going to go have a picnic and stuff, since I was going on vacation Friday, which turns out not to be til Saturday anyway. GAH. I'm so frustrated right now, and on top of everything else something's bothering me that shouldn't be bothering me at all. Poo on a stick. I don't even know if I'll get to see Ryan tomorrow because I'll be gone all tomorrow morning. PLUS to add on to this, I didn't get to see Joanne today, and we didn't get to watch Hitch Hiker's because of my dumb back. I'm going to go beat my pillow up now...excuse me.

07,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

I got up! I got up!!! I can't really move like...at all, but I got up!!! :)

07,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

I'm not so sure about stuff. He's not really my....type I guess, but I feel I should give it a shot.

07,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Tonight was ok. I went out with Chris, and then it ended up being me, Chris, Jim, and this kid Ryan who...I don't know, after what he did to Emily, that's not cool...but, I was still decent to him. He's funny, but I still don't think what he did to Emily was right. We just watched errr, I keep forgetting the name of the movie, but it was funny, and then we watched Ghost ship. Man, the acting was so terrible, but the movie was semi-entertaining. I think I drank too much water today though. Haha. And my back still hates me, and I think I'm just going to go to bed early. Seriously. I'm just going to leave my computer soon. And STAY AWAY FROM IT! ahhhh! OK, I'm done. I'm going to say bye to everyone now. Really....

06,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Holy cow!!! The Breakfast Club is on!!! :)

06,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Argh. I'm really really really confused. Mostly about this guy. I don't know. I really don't. I think maybe I'll go on a date with him and see. Just, see what happens. I don't know.

06,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Tonight was ok. I went over to Kathryn's house and just hung out with her, Joanne, and Clary Mare haha....for a while. We talked about....errr....interesting stuff. Haha, good times, good times. It was fun. And now, I think I'm off to go read then go to bed. I don't feel much like typing, and my back REALLY hurts. :( So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night.

06,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

So tired. *Yawn* I can't wait to sleep, but...I haven't talked to Chris in like...4 days, so...I want to finish my conversation with him. :) Hehe, yay Michigan. I'm excited, excited, excited! :)

06,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

You are Psychic! urlLink What's Your Magic Power? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla Haha, sweet. I'm like Ms. Cleo. Call me now! :) cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be close to your special someone and feel warm, comfortable, and needed urlLink What Sign of Affection Are You? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla Hehehe, ok, I'm not going to put this one in here because the picture was....well, not nice, but, I'll put the results in. The test was, "What type of porn movie would you be in?" This is what it said... Disney movie! What the HELL are you doing taking this quiz, Goldilocks?! You're not a very sexual person...in fact, you're probably a virgin. You'd be better off trying your hand at voice-overs for a Saturday morning cartoon. Haha, I thought that was funny. I need to tell that to Brandon. He always said I was a porn star. You are Bob Marley! urlLink Who are you? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla Sweet. OK, I think I'm done with the quizzes for now. I think I'm off to sleep. :) YaY sleep. You never let me down!

06,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

I found out so much weird stuff about my family last night. Like, seriously, so many things have been said in the last 24 hours that have COMPLETELY shocked me.

19,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Ahahahahaha, I just told Chris. He thinks it's funny too. I think I'll tell Brya too, and that's it. After that....I shall never speak of it again except with Lauren, Sara, Max, Conor, Chris, and Bryan....until next year that is haha.

19,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Oh gosh, I can't believe I forgot this too! Haha, we got arrested!!! Out on the water. Well, not me, but Lauren, Anri, (Diana's husband, forgot to mention him) Peter and Dieter. They took one of the jetskiis out, and had a tube attached behind it, and it was only a three person jetski, and we didn't know you weren't allowed to have more than three people, with the tube attached and all, and we got stopped by the sherriff!!! Peter offered Dieter for ransom while they went and found Uncle Timmy. It was SO funny. So, we just got a ticket and stuff. But, it was funny....

19,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Ah, I forgot to say something when I was talking about Dieter and the blackjack tournament. Holy cow, that kid's the luckiest 13 year old I've EVER met. When he turns 21 I'm bringing him to Vegas for me. The three games we played, we played for money, and like...each of us would have to put in ten dollars (the first game) and then five dollars for the games the other nights. Dieter won almost 200 dollars....what's a 13 year old need money like that for??? Grrr. Haha. Ah well. I really am off....for a bit at least...

19,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Wow. OK, I'm back and there's SO much to write about right now. AHHHH! I don't even know where to begin. First off, I missed the DT concert sadly. It was today, and someone told me it was the 30th or something, and the thing is, I was supposed to come home yesterday but we decided to come home a day later which I am actually very VERY happy for, because my last night there was absolutely AMAZING. haha. Such good times. The whole trip was just, so much fun, I think it's the most fun I've had up there ever. Basically, my uncle has this cottage, and we go up there the second week in July every year and then there's like, this strip of cottages that are connected, There's like, 5 little cottage suite things, and then there's what we call the honeymoon sweet, and the efficiency bellow that. And these things are all connected, and we rent out the whole place. It's just what we do. The owner knows we do. It's sort of a dump place, but...it's like tradition. People have been staying there for as long as I can remember, and it's pretty cheap partially because my uncles take care of a lot of stuff there and clean out the pool and whatnot, but yeah, we rent out the whole place and it's tons of fun. It's called the Terra. That's not where I stay though. I stay at my uncle's cottage which is really really nice, and the beach is right there, and you can go down anytime you want and whatnot. So, everyone in my family comes pretty much, 4 uncles, 5 aunts since one of the aunts divorced her husband who is actually my blood relative, but I haven't seen him in years. Heh, kind of funny how I keep in contact more with his wife and kids than with him considering his wife isn't blood related and stuff, but yeah...Then there's my mom and dad, and my brother even went up this year, and then I have all my older cousins, Joanna, Diana, Paula, Patrick, Chris, Brian, and Erin Chris' wife, and then friends of the family, the shantas, Sam and them, and then Meghan and Chelsea and Nicole. Chelsea and Nicole are like...fricking demon spawn, but....perhaps I'll get to that later. Meghan's really really cool though. I'd never got to know her before this trip, and it was awesome. She's so so nice. Then there's Shalane, and heh, I think that's it for older people up there. Haha, wow sometimes it amazes me how many people all go up there. THEN, heh, there's the kids my age, my three cousins who are all within a year and a half of my age (I'm the oldest in that little group, yay) Sara, Lauren, and Max were all there, and of course Max brought Conor up who he's been bringing up for like...six years now. And then finally, there's the younger kids, Daniell, Sara's little sister, and Peter Max's little brother, and then Peter's friend Dieter. Heh, I think it's cute how they're best friends and their names rhyme, but I'm weird like that. SO, that's all the people I think haha. Wow. So many. But, Max, Conor, Lauren, Sara, and I all hang out together and whatnot. I've got so many more inside jokes after this trip with them... TJ the Taliban job, bus or butt slut, FS the boat slut, opperations abomination, anialation, and denomination, chillin' in the 'ator, walking into invisible glass doors, the mother, the prude, and the drunken cheerleading slut, Theo, Red Dragon (did we FINALLY see it?) evil bumper boats, yokels, creepy old lady checking us out, Chhhhrrriiiissss, 50 back rubs, loner? pepper? Sara's plot to kill Conor, drills, someone's in the kitchen with Dina..., "I love you guys!" Steal the dear, step one...get regina girls, go-karts, and what's scary is that this list could probably keep going a lot longer... We just went over to the Terra every night basically and hung out, and did stupid stuff, and kept getting told to get up and go actually do something because all we would do would be sit around. The beach was awesome too, going on the jetskiis. That was SO sweet. I went on with max, and I got up to like...63 mph, and I did a bunch of pretty difficult turns. It was awesome because I don't always get to talk to Max much, and we spent a good two hours out on the water. And...we only fell off once, and that was because I jumped off because I thought we were going to tip over haha. Sara threw Conor off THREE times. It was crazy. Wow, it's hard to even explain what a good time I had. I mean, it just rocked so much, and then last night was the best of all, but I don't want to write about that in here. Haha. I'm not sure if anyone will know about that. I'm trying to decide if and who to tell. I'm listening to Sara, Lauren, and my song right now.....actually, we have two, haha. My neck, my back....whoo, such a dirty song. That and Colt 45. So great. I LOVED it. Maybe I'll write more later as I remember more about this week, but I just really thoroughly enjoyed myself, and I can't WAIT til next year. Oh yeah....Sam's little talk with Lauren and me....haha. So great. "I'm SERIOUS. Don't until you really love him..." for a half hour haha. And then that guy at the go-karts getting annoyed with Conor. *Sigh* I'm kind of sad I couldn't stay til tomorrow when everyone else is leaving, because tonight would have rocked too if I could have. Plus, I wish we could have stayed overnight at the Terra more often, Sara Lauren, and me. I guess they're worried since Conor isn't related to any of us. I guess it's understandable, but...we're going to really try to change that next year and talk them into it. We never left before like....2:00 in the morning anyway. Last night, or this morning we didn't leave til 4! But, that was because of the blackjack tournament Oh gosh, that was so much fun too. I kept like....doing really well, and then I'd have to bet it all to keep up with Dieter, and I'd lose. That happened two out of the three games I played. And that stupid pink flmingo lamp my mom bought haha. I love it. Man, there's just so much to remember I don't want to forget anything so I'm trying to write it down but I still know I'm forgetting LOADS of stuff. OK, I swear...I'm going now. My neck, my back, lick my..... Wow, what a dirty song....

19,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

There's a song that's inside of my soul It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again I'm awake in the infinite cold But you sing to me over, and over and, over again So I lay my head back down and I lift my hands and prey To be only yours, I prey To be only yours, I know now You're my only hope Sing to me the song of the stars Of your galaxy dancing, and laughing, and laughing again When it feels like my dreams are so far Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again So I lay my head, back down and I lift my hands and prey To be only yours, I prey to be only yours, I know now You're my only hope.... I give you my destiny I'm giving you all of me I want your symphony singing in all that I am At the top of my lungs, I'm givin' it back So I lay my head back down And I lift my arms and prey to be only yours, I prey to be only yours, I prey To be only yours I know now, you're my only hope... I know this is odd, but this song just started playing. I guess it was on my playlist. I didn't mean for it to be, because usually when I hear it, I start crying. It's not that I really like Mandy Moore. In fact I don't like much of her music, but It's the first song that...I don't know, it really impacted me after my grandma died. It's the first song that made me cry over her. Like, I didn't understand why I wasn't crying. I was upset, just not crying, and when I heard this song I just burst into tears. The song's not even really about that. The song would be about me dieing. But, I just listened to this song so many times after I first heard it, and truly admitted to myself that she was gone. It makes me wish I could just give her ONE last hug. Just one....and talk to her one last time, and have Christmas Eve with her just one last time, and see her happy and carefree just......one last time.

25,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Well, ok, I DID go to bed at a semi-reasonable hour but then I started reading Harry Potter, and here I am... I don't really know what I'm going to write about because not much goes on in my life, well, not much that I really want to write in here so that everyone can read it. Ah, there is something. Kelly and I are going to go to the pet store on Saturday, and I'm going to buy a fishy!!! Kelly's lending me one of her many tanks. I never knew she liked fishes so much. That's really good to know actually...I think we'll have a great time. I miss hanging out with Kelly. Kelly C that is. I miss Kelly S too, but she wont be back til Sunday. I kind of wish I were back in Caseville right now, I really miss it. Like...just right now. Most of the time I'm happy to be home, but it WAS a nice escape, I must admit. Caseville is like....ghetto Disney World. In Disney World, you never know what's going on in the real world. You don't watch the news...well, most people don't, but they try to make it that type of atmosphere where you don't even realize there is a world around you. Hehe...it's funny, I can't really feel my fingers much right now. My hands are so cold. Actually, I'M so cold. I should really close my window, and seeing as it's right next to me.....'eh, oh well. Is that laziness or what?? But, Caseville is like the ghetto Disney World, because you don't normally know what's going on in the real world, and you can escape, and just act goofy, and have a good time...while avoiding yokels. :) Hmmm....what else? I actually talked to Chris on the phone today. Heh. Like, for more than five minutes. It was odd, I haven't talked to him on the phone since school since we've seen each other a lot over the summer. I'm going to miss him when he goes to camp. Gosh....I've had pretty good luck with guy best friends. I don't know why I'm thinking of this. It sort of reminds me of when I was friends with Andy. I feel terrible for Diane, and I think what he did was terrible, but I don't know. He was so easy to talk to and relate to. It's weird. Our friendship just ended so abruptly. Ah well. I don't think what he did to Diane was right, and I don't know if I'd really want to associate with someone who does that, but it still doesn't change that he was easy to talk to. I'm just thinking of everyone I haven't talked to in so long...Amanda. I haven't even talked to her since she was diagnosed with cancer. They say they think she'll be alright, and...I didn't think I should mention it to her. According to my mom who heard from Amanda's mom, Amanda just sort of avoidied the conversation about it. I'm really glad Amanda's mom is one of my mom's best friends. I like to know how Amanda is. I feel like calling her, or IM'ing her sometimes, but it's weird. I think it would just be awkward. Its odd how I'm thinking of all these people I haven't talked to in a long time. Like...Anna Krise. I wonder what happened to her. I wonder if she still goes to our school....actually, I could just go be sensible and look in the yearbook, yeah?? Well, I found her picture in the yearbook, so....obviously she still goes to our school. I wonder how many of those crazy rumors are true. I've known her so long. She didn't seem the type of little girl who would grow up to be suicidal. I suppose no little girls seem that way. I used to dislike her so much though. I always wanted to forget her when Kelly and I did stuff. I was such a mean kid. Actually, forget the past tense. I AM such a mean kid. And then, what about Heather? Ah good old Heather, I wonder what happened to her. I mean, I know she still goes to my school and all, but I wonder if she started hanging out with better people yet. I hope so. She could do so much with herself. Like, seriously, I think she's incredibly smart, but she never seemed to show it. She always seemed to go with the wrong people. The old daycare gang. And then David? Oh, I need to give David a call. I really miss him and his hugs since he moved to Georgia. I haven't talked to him in forever. :( And then, finally, what happened to Nick Mascaro? I need to find someone who went to Kennedy who knows what happened to him. Him and his Blue bear. I really really miss him! He was always the sweetest kid. A little shy, and a little dorky, but so sweet. I wonder if anyone knows how I can get a hold of him or something. I don't want to ever forget him. It's odd thinking how much I've changed as a kid. I probably still look the same haha. I'm even still really short!!! Maybe I'll never truly grow up. Maybe I'll stay a kid forever. But, I do want to go to college which isn't exactly a kid thing. I mean, I'm really quite happy with my life right now, but I'm also looking forward to meeting new people, and living on my own, and trying new things, and...I really think college will be fun. I don't think I'm going to continue with my music though. I really don't. Mr. Alstadt is like...convinced I will, but...I just don't love it enough to be a musician. Musicians have to truly love what they, because they have to stick with it even when it's not the best paying job. And all this makes me wonder, why do I do it now? I don't know really. I'm not looking forward to band camp really. It'll be so much work, and the only part of marching band I really like is the social part. Well, I do like marching sometimes, but I LOATHE band camp. So, why am I doing it?? I'm sure I'll find my answer once I get into the season and stuff. Wow, I've written a lot tonight. Reminiscing and wondering. Ah, I think I shall truthfully go to bed now. Hopefully... I'll probably stay awake and watch City Confidential. Haha. I'm SUCH a loser...but I like the show... Sweet dreams...err....everyone in their right mind is asleep right now dreaming so....sweet dreams Catie! :)

24,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Wow, it's so weird. For the first time in a really really long time my room is like...completely clean. It's odd. I feel like I can't touch anything because if I do.....it will all be ruined. I put all my stuffed animals...well, not all, some of them are on my shelf, but a lot of stuffed animals on my bed for the first time in a long long time. I'm going to try to sleep with them on there. Usually, I sleep with one or two stuff animals but I have like, 15 on my bed right now, and then maybe another 15 on my shelf. And THEN, there's the ones out in the shed, and my beanie babies. Wow, I never realized how many stuffed animals I have...I guess I liked them as a child. Actually...I still like them, hehe. So, my day wasn't a complete waste although I didn't do anything that I was planning on doing. Ah well, such is life. I did something much more productive...not as fun...but more productive!

24,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Man, I am a cleaning maniac! In the past two hours I have, picked up my entire room, which is no small feat. I have wiped down everything in my room, and pledged stuff. I have totally cleaned my bathroom. Scrubbed the tub, washed the counter, cleaned the toilet! Man...seriously, I loathe cleaning but it's not so bad once you're done haha. Actually, I'm not quite done. I still have to wash my floor and the bathroom floor. That's the problem with wood flooring in one's room. It has to be washed AND swpet, not just vacuumed. Hmmm, what else has been going on? Not too much. I have prospects that I'll ACTUALLY get to get my new furniture soon. I realllly really hope. I'm excited. I saw this really nice duvet set from target actually. I don't usually shop at Target, but eh. I'm thinking about getting it. Going out with Ryan didn't work out. I didn't see any sense in him driving all the way here when we would only get to spend maybe two hours together. It takes him half that long to get there and back. So, why bother? He said he would, but...eh I didn't feel much like actually getting dressed. It's funny, I take a shower in the morning, and then if I don't think I'm going to go out, I just out a new pair of pajamas back on. I LOVE pajamas. :) They're so comfy. I think I may need to go take another shower though. I smell like....amonia from all the cleaning stuff. Mixture of fantastik, some bathtub scrub stuff, and toilet bowl cleaner. Blah! I'm in a pretty cheery mood right now though, even though I haven't been doing anything really fun today or anything. I'm kind of bummed since I can't go downtown with Katharine and her friend Kristie tomorrow, but I know I'll have another opportunity. They'll go some other time. Oh, and Kelly's coming home Sunday!!! She didn't get to go to California though. I wonder why... Ah well, a mystery of life that I shall probably find out Sunday when she gets home! :) I'm outta here to go wash my room floor, my bathroom floor, and my brother's room floor, aren't I nice? And then a shower. I might write later tonight, but I'm not really planning on coming online.

23,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

cleaning....and cleaning....and more cleaning! Yippee!

23,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Errr, I had something here for a while, but I decided to get rid of it and hope no one saw it, because I don't think I want anyone to know anymore.

22,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Gosh, I still have that Mary Tyler Moore song stuck in my head. Grrrr. It's never going to leave. I know if I listen to, "my neck, my back" it will, but see...the Mary Tyler Moore song is beter to mumble sing than, "My neck, my back." So, I suppose that's best. I went out to dinner with my family for my mom's birthday. It was nice, but now I'm extremely full. Kelly was going to take me for a drive since she got her license today!! But, I had to go to dinner so hopefully she can tomorrow. Nothing more to say really.

22,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Well, I'm off to go out to dinner for my mom's birthday. YaY. I'm so hungry too. Yum.

21,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

I have been thinking way too much. For many people, that would not be something to be concerned about. In fact, it may even be advisable for those of our peers and fellow citizens who have not stretched their minds to the full extent of their gray matter since attempting to comprehend those dastardly, evasive times tables, except those people's minds have probably atrophied hopelessly by now. I, on the other hand, think so much about nothing at all, or about one thing constantly, until i whip myself up into a state that is both a tizzy and a stupor at the same time. This leads to a blatant manifestation of my normally subordinate fantasy life, and a contemplation of a variety of sensible and useless things. Sigh...what's the matter with me?

21,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Hehehehehehehe, how exhilerating!

21,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

OK, I just thought this was the funniest thing. Conor made it up. It makes me laugh. The world is divided up into two kinds of people, morons and those who manipulate morons. Anyone smart enough to surpass the moronic spectrum, always manipulates the morons, whether they are aware they are being bastards or not. Fortunately for me, I'm one of the elite bastards.

21,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

YES!!! Lauren's going to try to get me a regatta shirt. That's so awesome. I really wanted one. I can't wait til next year. Hopefully I can actually be in it. So, I've got this song stuck in my head. The one from the Mary Tyler Moore show. Haha, kind of funny seeing as I haven't watched that show in so very long. How will you make it on your own? This world is awfully big Girl this time you're all alone But it's time you started living It's time you let someone else do some giving Love is all around No need to waste it You can never tell Why don't you take it? You might just make it after all You might just make it after all.... You know what's worst of all of this? That I know the fricking words.

20,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

It's weird, I'm talking to Conor and having a real conversation. It's not awkward like it used to be. I'm not nervous talking to him, and I don't feel weird about it. It's cool. I like talking to him, and I think he'd be a really good friend to have. This year in Caseville just changed so many things it's unbelievable. I'm still shocked honestly.

20,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

I still find it hard to believe how one spontaneous thing can ruin two relationships, and hurt so many people. I just feel so bad for everyone involved in this. It's terrible. I'm glad it wasn't me, because....I would just feel awful. I'm trying to help somehow, but...it's hard to help with something like this. *Sigh* Ah well, we shall see.

20,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

So, I'm going out with Bryan and Chris today. I went out with Jim and Chris last night. It was cool, but today should be exciting since I haven't seen Bryan in a long time, and him and Chris are the only two that knpw, so I'm really looking forward to it. Anyway I guess I'll go take a shower and stuff.

20,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

How could I forget this too? Oh well, this deserved it's own entry. WORD.

20,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

Colt 45 and two zig zags, baby that's all we need... Haha, wow, what a song. Seriously, I was just talking to Lauren and Max and we were talking about how different this year was but how great it was. It's like....we can all trust each other, and we all really got along. It's not just Max and Conor as a group, and then Lauren, Sara, and me. It's all of us, and it rocks, and I honestly think I'll talk to them more often now. Man...

20,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

It really just amazes me how much one night can change so much. Your views, the people you hang out with, how you see life. Strangely, it changed me. The whole week changed me. I think it's a change for the better though...just thoughts...

20,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

OK, haha, I thought of more to write about....more that I forgot about. Sara and I washed our hair in the lake since well water doesn't get out shampoo! It was so great, and also when Lauren and I were walking back from the Bella Vista, one guy honked at us, and this old lady was like....staring at us. It was so CREEEEPY! I also learned some errr....interesting pick-up lines. You take your packets and pull the insides out, and you go up and say, "Hey, have you ever kissed a rabbit between it's ears before?" Haha, so dirty....and yet, so funny. Then the other one, which I'll probably actually use is, "how much does a polar bear weigh?" "Enough to break the ice!"

20,July,2003

female

Libra

Student

My mood's improving slightly. Not significantly, but slightly.

02,August,2003

female

Libra

Student