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About a few years ago I was working night shift as a security guard. There was a CVS near where I worked that I would stop at right before my shift to stock up on goodies for my watch. I go in one night about 11 and there is this middle aged woman talking on her cell phone complaining loudly about everything in the store. She grabs a few assorted items and goes to the check out, the cashier rings her up and she refuses to pay, berates the cashier and leaves. When I get to the check out I say something to the effect of, "Sorry you have to deal with that". The cashier responds "That lady does this 2 or 3 times a week. I don't even think there is anyone on the other end of the phone. She even puts the same thing on the counter each time."

Crazy woman goes into a all night pharmacy 2-3 times a week, tries to buy the same stuff, loudly berates everything on the phone, and leaves.

Greetings people of r/jobs! I have been recently looking for a job that's a step up from what I do. It would take a while to explain exactly what I do, but here's the short version: I make microchips. I'm looking to relocate to Austin to help out a family member there and have seen a few positions that might fit me. But then there's the barrier of higher education. It kinda seems you need a four year degree and two associate degrees to become a waiter (exaggeration, but you get my point.). In my current job, I learned how to operate machines I didn't even know existed prior to working there. I learned the ins and outs of how our product is made, all the steps and why. I even helped engineers modify one machine to fit our needs when previously it was collecting dust. All this feels irrelevant because everyone says on their resume that they're a quick learner. In my case, it's not speculation. It's fact. I've got reference's in spades. Engineers, Technicians, Managers, even a guy who reports directly to our CEO. That being said, I feel like I won't be noticed or quickly filtered out due to my lack of a degree. (Despite, in some cases, looking at job duties and knowing I could do said job standing on my head while juggling sparklers and chainsaws. Exaggeration again. I can't juggle.) Any advice beyond "Get a degree" would be helpful. Regards, Mad Fake Scientist.

I've got skillz, they kinda pay some bills. Need to relocate to Austin, but living there is high costin'. No degree, somebody help me. Thank you.

I don't think you're overreacting - it's a very reasonable thing to want. From what I've seen, it seems to depend primarily on the dog how they handle any kind of rough play. Some dogs are able to distinguish the level of play for individual people, and won't engage one person in the same way as another. On the other hand, if they are unable to make that distinction, it's a totally different situation (and not fun for you). There are quite a few tips on play in general, including teaching your dog that you as the owner are the one to both initiate and stop play, and advising that the main focus is on toys rather than hands or skin, in order to avoid accidents. Another aspect of personality is timidity: if you have a well-balanced, playful and confident dog, it might be ok to engage in rough play with them, within reason. But with a more timid, fearful or submissive dog, you can end up in a situation where the dog bites out of stress or fear as a result of the rough play. Yet another is excitability: if you have a dog that is easily riled up and excited by any sort of rough play, it can end in the same situation. I personally agree with you that this sort of play is inappropriate and not respectful of the dog. Yes, dogs are fun to play with, but it seems like your boyfriend may be crossing a line there and introducing behavior or perhaps building a foundation for behavior that you don't actually want, either now or in the future. Dogs have boundaries too, and since it's such a young pup you don't really know what they're personality is going to be like and how they'll react.

I think it's a good idea for you to stop this behavior with your new pup, because you don't know how it will react and don't want it to turn bad.

So I'm so distraught right now. My SO of almost five years recently started a second job (for holiday money). At this job she has met a guy(her boss keep in mind) that tells her he really really likes her. Turns out she likes him as well but not as much because she loves me. He wants to be with her but knows she's with me and "respects that". This hurts bad still knowing the woman I planned on proposing to next year would create these feelings for another this deep in our committed relationship. I can't imagine getting feelings for someone other than her. She is now struggling because she doesn't want to hurt either one of us. This hurts as well as I'm like in "competition" with some guy she's been having conversations with for a few weeks.. Any advice? I don't know what to do. I can't eat or sleep. It's like my whole world's structure has collapsed. I need some encouragement or something.Am I blowing things outta proportion? I don't even know how to feel right now.

girlfriend of almost five years likes coworker to the point it's threatening our relationship and future. Update: thanks for the responses everyone. Hoping to hear more. I'm going to speak honestly with her and lay it all out that it's him or me.

Throwaway, for reasons. So approximately 4 years ago, I went to a foreign country. Met a guy, Alex, fell in love, and we got married. About half a year after we got married, Alex gets called for military service. Originally, he didn't have to go, because he had documents that allowed him to put off service and his health was not good enough for the military. Since Alex ended up having to go (through a series of unfortunate events), we started getting to work on a marriage visa--I had a work visa with my company, so didn't think there would be a problem. Come to find out, my boss didn't do the visa paperwork properly and I am basically of illegal status. My options are to pay the fine (approx $6-7k), have it on my record, and leave; have a baby to raise as a single parent; or simply leave. Before people tell me to get legal advice, the above options are what I was told by a lawyer. So now that we resigned ourselves to the fact that for the remainder of his service (1 year) we'll have to do long distance, does anybody have any tips? He can't call me (maybe once every few months), and obviously I can't visit him, so what's left? We went through a lot to be together, so this is really taking its toll on me.. (Though this could be my cold talking.) Any suggestions would be great.

Husband has to go to military in his home country, and I can't stay there because my boss didn't do my paperwork properly. Any tips on how to get through this?

It was a long day at my first job and afterward I wanted to get a cup of coffee from at your favorite green café. I ended up sitting in there for a solid 2 hours and one thing led to another causing me to drink three 16oz coffee cups. I had done this because I was waiting for my SO to go on break so I could order her a latte and bring it to her. After 90 minutes of sitting, sipping, I needed to use the bathroom; unfortunately for me the bathroom was closed. So I decide to just tough it out and just head over to my SO's work. Bad idea. Once I got to her work I had to wait outside in my car which isn't a big deal but with a full bladder it complicates things. I expected to only have to wait for about 10-15 minutes but that 10-15 became 50. At the 40 minute mark all that coffee was ready to burst out so I decided F*ck it and just grab a bottle and do it in the car. What happened next was like a scene from dumb and dumber. I didn't have a big bottle and just a 16oz water bottle. I thought to myself: "eh, I should be fine." I put my phallus in the bottle hole and went for it. Before I knew it the bottle filled and I freaked out causing me to squeeze my thing hard to make it stop and yet it didn't stop sh*t. My urine sprayed like a frickin' spray paint can on my seat and steering wheel. I continue to freak out as I start peeing in my coffee cup now. Disappointed that I urinated everywhere I proceed to wipe it all off with a shirt I had in my backseat. Suddenly, my SO pops up outta nowhere knocking on my window. I nervously open the passenger door and she sits commenting nothing of any odor. I was in the clear with her. Now, if I could only clear out these urine stains in my seat.

I thought 48oz worth of coffee would somehow equal to under 16oz of urine. It didn't and now I have pee stains in my driver seat and all over my steering wheel.

Back in 2013, I cheated on my then-boyfriend with this guy I knew at school. He was a little older than me (23 while I was 18), pretty cool, and was basically my musical soulmate. He broke my heart. I was young, just a freshman in college. I took it really hard, sent me spiraling into depression for a long 6 months or so, and really made me re-evaluate who I was as a person and what my maturity level was. I met my current boyfriend in January 2014. He is the most amazing man I've ever met, and we have so much fun together. He is more age appropriate (21) and at the same stage of his life as me. We really get each other. We have a pretty open relationship when it comes to discussing our attraction to other people, but we've basically told each other we wouldn't be comfortable with the other having sex with someone else of the same gender (I know, this seems dumb, but I'm fine with him having sex with a guy and he's fine with me having sex with women. I think it might be an insecurity thing for both of us.) However, this semester started, and I noticed a guy I've seen in some of my bigger classes. What first attracted me to him was how cute he was (obviously.) He sat next to me the first class and talked to me, and we've sat together every class. He reminds me so much of that man I dated freshman year...and I don't know. Maybe it's because I never fully got over him that is making me want this new guy so much. Ultimately, I know that I would never betray the trust of my relationship by going behind my boyfriend's back, but I don't know how to deal with these feelings I have. I don't want to make the same idiotic decisions I made when I was younger, especially when I love my current partner so much. I want to be able to have sex with this new guy and flirt with him, but I can't even think about doing that. The suffocation is killing me. I feel so guilty about how I feel, wanting my boyfriend to be okay with me having sex with other guys, but feeling hurt if he'd do the same with other girls.

In a committed, somewhat monogamous relationship with amazing boyfriend, but found a guy that I'm attracted to in the same way as the man I cheated on my ex with. How do I handle this situation?

So a little about myself, I'm a 26 year old male living in the USA (English is not my first language, so please forgive my grammar and spelling), I graduated as an engineer and have a pretty well off career, I love to workout everyday, and I think I'm a pretty normal individual. I met my current love interest randomly in the Internet about 2 years ago, she accidently added me on social media thinking I was someone else, we started talking, and then it evolved into going out, everything seemed to be going good until 2 months later I started to develop real feeling for her, I asked her for a relationship, she said no, she started to text me less due to me becoming insecure and asking several times if we're okay, eventually I made the huge mistake of showing up to her home and work place to validate we're okay, which pushed her away from me farther and eventually she cut me out completely, I of course being a complete idiot tried to win her back by calling, and texting constantly, and even going to her work place and taking a dozen roses to her. Naturally I scared her, and she told me to never do it again of she'd call the cops on me. I was crushed for the next year and a half I couldn't move on, I missed her everyday, I tried texting her, but she would not contact me at all for that year and a half. Then a miracle happened this past month she contacted me and told me she missed me, we decided to try again after 2 weeks of talking, our first date went very well, but our second date didn't go so well, she seemed tired, and me being a dunce began to become insecure, I thought I was boring her, so I asked her if she was okay, did she like me, was I the only guy she was dating etc... She obviously told me that I was turning back into the insecure guy again for good reason, I told her that I appreciate her telling me this and I will change because I really want things to work this time. It's been 2 days since our last date, we've bearly have texted each other just good mornings and good nights. I'm limiting my texting as recommended by 2 of my friends, but I am confused on what I should do, should I continue to just give basic good good mornings, should I take an initiative and try to talk to her about her day? Should I wait for her to take the initiative? When should I ask her out again? And how do I deal with my insecurities? Any feedback is appreciated, if you have any specific questions id be glad to give more detail.

Girl said I'm becoming insecure again on last date, I have no idea how I should proceed now with texting or asking her out again.

This is my first post, so please let me know if I did anything wrong posting this. I also moved this from another subreddit. We have been together 7 years and married for 6 months. So my wife went on a trip with a bunch of girls. They partied and I'm sure they had fun. A quick background, we have a wonderful relationship, we both see it and evereyone arounds us sees it. There has been no priors of infidelity in the least and we have always had very open communication. Back to the story. So I opened up one of her emails the other day and this guy sent her a couple of songs, no text, no subject. It seems out of nowhere but I'm sure they are chatting or talking elsewhere. I know this is a guy that her group of girls met while on the trip. So curious me also went into her sent folder to see what followed after his email since that was the only email in her inbox from this guy. In her sent folder, there is also one email of her replying. In her email she says something along the lines of "Im listening to my favorite Justin Bieber Song - Boyfriend, it kind of reminds me of us :)" My heart sank when I saw that especially after I looked up the lyrics. This is not someone that I would even suspect to be unfaithful or lying to me. I am trying to figure out what she meant by what she said. There was no further correspondence via email. So that's all that I have that is bothering me, there could be more. I am confused. I don't know what this means, was it a mild attraction, just having fun in a party town or is there something going on? Did they talk about how they could of been together if not for me? Please let me know what you guys think. There is no one that I would like to talk to about this so I am coming to you guys. What can I even do? I can't let her know I looked at her email nor do I want to make this a bigger deal than it might be.

wife sent flirty email to another guy, not sure what it means and what I should do. Thank you. EDIT: Sorry I left this out. This was her bachelorette weekend, emails were about a week after the trip and BEFORE the wedding.

About an hour ago, I was bussing tables at a local restaurant. Well, there's free bread that we serve to the customers as they sit down. Usually after cleaning tables, there's still some bread left over, which waiters, waitresses, and table bussers snack on in the kitchen. I really love that bread (until now), and I'd always grab a big wad of it and try to swallow it. It usually works fine, sometimes I struggle to get it down, but 99% of the time it was fine. Until Now. I was in a hurry, so I grabbed a bit too much and squished it up and ate it all. Big mistake. I immediately realize, 'Oh shit, it's stuck. I'm choking!". I try swallowing - Stuck. I try coughing it up - Stuck. I immediately knew I fucked up. I ran to the waiter, Rosario, and I said with a slightly muffled voice, as my throat was blocked with bread with the same density as iron, "Rosario! I'm choking! Help me!" So Rosario pats me on the back, and then tries the Heimlich Maneuver on me. It doesn't work. My boss took me back into the kitchen and we got several people to try it on me. It didn't work. I say in front of the trash can for about 5 minutes, crying, spitting, and seeing my life flash before my eyes as I wait for 911 to arrive. They were relatively quick, but it felt like forever. They took me out to the ambulance, meanwhile, one of the waitresses drove to my house to tell me parents I was choking. My dad drove up to the restaurant seconds after I threw the piece of bread up. So my throat is still sore, I have a big headache from all the screaming I was doing, and I probably won't consume bread ever again. At least, not all at once. The moral of this story: Chew your food

TIFU Ate too much bread at once, started choking, almost went to hospital, but I threw it up right as they were about to take me

UPDATE I told the truth. I came clean. All is well. I blew it out of proportion. I guess when you know you have a good thing, you dont really want to mess it up. Thanks for all who helped. First I will start off by saying: Please don't judge me. I know I am a terrible person. When I first my now boyfriend, I was not interested. On our first date, I figured I'd let him take me out and we'd just have a nice conversation and I would go home and we would never speak again. But rarely does life work out like we think it will. Well, on one of those first few uninterested dates, he would compliment me on my hair. I'm black, he's white. Usually, most white people aren't sure whether a woman's hair is her's or just extensions (honestly most men of all races too) and just assume it hers. So, just because I don't feel like explaining the process which is almost always the next question I get asked, I may lie and say the hair is mine just to cut the detailed explanation I don't feel like giving. Other times I will be honest. Either just doesnt matter to me unless I feel it's important to say, no insecurities, nothing like that. Just laziness on my part. Well, fastfoward some months and I have found myself falling in love. My hair occasionally/rarely comes up but when it does he talks about how much he loves that it is my real hair. And I'm too much of a baby to let him down and ruin the illusion. I want him to like me, right? But this relationship has gotten way more serious than I ever thought it would and now I find myself in a dilemma. What do I do? I want to be %200 honest with him, always. Literally on everything else I have, and I swear that. But I'm so scared of telling him about my hair. I've considered just saying I was going to cut it, which I've mentioned, and he seemed all for it, even encouraged it. Is this really a bad thing? Or should I just come clean? Or am I lookin too much into it? I'd hate to lose a SO over hair.

Lied in the begining stages about my hair because I didn't think I'd ever see him again, now we're serious and I want everything to be out in the open and 100% honest but Im scared. What do I do?

A little background first. I went to school at a community college for 2 years without having to take out loans because I was eligible for federal grant money. However, as I am going to a 4-year college now (I start Jan 6), the cost of attendance is obviously higher, and so I will have to accept the $5,500 in loans (federal direct, subsidized) to be able to attend. Now I know that people will say this isn't a lot of money, and I know there are people thousands of dollars higher in debt, but this is a lot of money for me. Should I be stressing out too much about this? I have about two years left until I graduate with my B.A. I'm going to a college that doesn't have a major system, and I don't know how much money I'm going to be making after college right away. I do, however, know what job I want to get into that I would be qualified for after college--teaching English overseas. However, this requires that I save up some money to pay for the initial flight and setting-up a living situation before the job, but I can't do this if I'm paying my debt, right? I really want to continue my education, and I've worked hard to get where I am right now, but I can't help but fear the four-figures of debt that I will be incurring. Any thoughts?

2 years in college under my belt. First time taking out a loan, $5,500 fed direct subsidized. Don't plan on making lots of money right after college (not until months after.)

I'm on my phone so please excuse my grammar. I met my friend Anna junior year in high school. We were both depressed and into art so we could relate. I worked really hard to get out of my depression and I started going to punk shows, met lots of friends and things got better for me. Fast forward to now I am slowly paying for my own college, I am in the U.S with a student visa so I don't qualify for financial aid nor loans so it's taking me a long time. I have always had a job since I turned 14. I am active and I am in a relationship with the most wonderful person ever. Things are pretty hard for me because of other stuff but still i try. Anna on the other hand grew up privileged, after high school she tried community college and failed all her classes and never went back. She is now 24, has never had a job or boyfriend and when I visit, her mom has to drive us around. She just stays at home all day and plays video games, depression is an excuse for everything. I am sick of her, i feel awful because i am the only friend she has and she keeps sending me texts about wanting to kill herself. I try to help her and she just starts getting defensive. Please help me i have no idea what to do, i just really don't want to be around her she always makes mean comments about my appearance to top it off

Friend from high school is a completely non functional mean adult, keeps saying shes going to kill herself and I no longer want to be her friend

I recently visited my ex boyfriend, *Sam, in his hometown for a few days. I had dated Sam for almost a year in college, and we broke up due the fact that he was graduating and he couldn’t handle long distance. I had originally planned the trip just to tour the city for myself and meet up with other friends, but he invited me to stay at his house for the time I was there. I ended up having a wonderful time with him, and am now confused about how to proceed with the relationship. Brief history with Sam: We were each other’s first relationship. We broke up once after almost a year of dating, but ended up getting back together after the summer. The second time I got back together with him, I felt much more comfortable with the relationship. The same level of comfort applied to this trip, where we weren’t even dating. I would like to get back together with Sam, but he told me on the trip that he’s not in a place to date right now, even though he has very strong feelings for me. He says he will most likely always care about me and does not want to date for a very long time if at all. (When I was at his house I saw that he had kept a lot of mementos from our relationship) Sam is not the best at communicating when we’re not together but says he loves hearing from me. I asked him if he wanted to call or text more frequently but he said that might seem like we’re dating, which isn’t something he’s ready for. My question is now what should I do in terms of my feelings and communications. I obviously have strong feelings for Sam, and he says he would like to see me again. I will most likely have the opportunity to visit him twice in the upcoming months due to my travel schedule. Should I make an effort to stay in touch with him, or just let him go? How often should I stay in contact with him? I think a relationship with him might be possible at some point, but I’m still just so confused on how he can have such strong feelings but not want to date me.

How do deal with strong feelings for an ex who also has strong feelings for me but does not want to date at this point.

we have been together a year I found out that my boyfriend tried to kiss another girl (one of my friends- and he knew me at the time) before he got with me, but she rejected him. So, about 10 minutes later- he came up to me and admitted 'he'd liked me for ages and wanted to be with me'. I felt so hurt when I learnt this, because I thought he was being genuine and honest when he admitted his feelings for me, but turns out I was a second choice. when i found this out (she told me like 3 months in to our relationship) i was soo hurt, if I had known that I wouldn't had been with him. I also felt hurt about the way she told me, as she worded it as if she was making fun of me for being a second choice. anyway, we have been together over a year now. my boyfriend started going to a squash society, and i asked if anyone we knew went. he said no, but turns out she goes as well. I got upset because I feel like he liked her, and he lied to me when I asked if anyone we knew went - like he was hiding it. I then got upset the next week he went, because the whole situation honestly broke my heart. I honestly feel im not good enough because he wanted to be with her, not me. So my boyfriend stopped going to the society. he checks the fb page all the time and always talks about it, and i can tell he really wants to go. i feel horrible that I stopping him from doing something he loves because im insecure. but i cant get over it. i have so much anxiety about it. I don't know what to do? we've talked about it, and he understands. But I KNOW he wants to go. I want to try and not care anymore, but its hard. Does anyone have any tips for not caring about it anymore? I want him to go do what he loves, and not have to be that annoying paranoid girlfriend :( but the whole situation has broken my heart and made me anxious and lose trust. any help?

i want my boyfriend to be happy do what he wants, but im paranoid about the girl he hangs out with because he's hurt me. what should i do to let it go?

Alright, so this is going to piss off anyone who bothers to read this, but from the outset i'm not going to reveal the identity of my Dad. Consequently this is probably destined to obscurity, however i'm genuinely interested in what people think I should ask him? From what I've kinda pieced together from my mom, My dad was married, and my mom was the other woman in a scandalous affair that resulted in me, the love child. His wife knows about me, and from what my mom said, she was kinda mental - but I don't really know what that means. I have a half brother who knows nothing of my existance, and I really have no wish to upset his current life. He paid his child support when I was younger, and don't really want anything from him, other than to meet him and ask him some questions Seeing as this maybe the only time I ever meet him, I guess I want to make the most of it. Hence, my first thought: Reddit. I met him once, when I was four years old in a country which no longer exists (ok, not that exciting, it was in Prague, when Prague was still in Czechzolovakia). I think he once called on my 12th Birthday as I was waiting patiently to open my presents, and because some random man was asking for Miss *** I assumed it was telesales and shouted rather loudly down the phone "mom, there's a salesman on the phone can you get rid of him please." I've had no contact with him since then. (whoops) and I've just found him on facebook. For years i've checked in on his IMDB page, and he worked on the movie I saw on my first ever date with my first ever girlfriend. I guess i'm curious about his Job, but i'm more interested in nurture over nature, and finding out more about where I come from. I have no way to verify this story, and for me, it is a good story that, I often use to impress pretty girls with. Its my claim to fame if you like. I hope reddit can add a chapter to this story before I meet him. Oh also, how should I go about messaging the guy? Has anyone been in a similar situation on either side? I'm thinking "Hey, remember me? i'm the product of your penis" probably isn't a great start, and neither is my friends... "LOL HAI ITS UR SUN HAHA - MESSAGE BCK KTHXBAI"

never met my dad, he's famous, i'm going to contact him out of the blue and try and meet him. How should I do this, and what should I ask him? EDIT: deleted my suggested questions to see what reddit comes up with.

I began talking to her in October last year through a dating app (three guesses which one?). Our situation is somewhat complicated so I'll try and explain it in the simplest way I can. For the purpose of this, lets name my girlfriend Juliet. Juliet is from a place called Town A (I'm not very creative), and I am from Town B. Town A and B are 2 and a half hours apart by train. However, she goes to university in Town B, so while she is at uni, she lives in the town center for 6 months of the year, putting her closer to me, but when uni ends, she moves back home. So for 6 months of the year, the relationship is long distance, but being the resilient fellow that I am, I stuck to it, and try and make sure she feels loved every day. When we first matched on the dating app she was here, but had just finished her second year of university and was heading back home, so we didn't actually get to meet. We talked quite relentlessly for about a month, then went quiet until over the Christmas period where we started talking every second of every day. By January we were itching to meet each other, every text or phone call filled with sexual tension and longing. Finally she returned here and our journey began. We have been together ever since, and it's been wonderful, of course we have had some hiccups along the way, but it's been fantastic. I'm not ignorant to the facts, I know it's only been 8 months, and I also know it's a very new relationship, but recently she told me that the house she is getting with her uni friends has a free space that I could use for my office if I wanted to move in, I said yes, and I have contacted my landlord to say I'm moving out the the impulsive S.O.B that I am, but I am freaking out a little bit. My problem of course is that it is a very new relationship, I'm scared that this could potentially ruin us. Has anyone else moved in with their girlfriend/boyfriend that early? Did it work out? Is there any advice you have for me? I guess i'm probably just freaking out because It's a big step, but I can't help it. It's new and exciting, and I love her to pieces, but I can't help but think this will make or break us. Is avoiding it any better than just jumping in with 2 feet? Let me know!

I'm moving in with my girlfriend after a 7 month relationship, never done this before, i'm freaking out man, I need advice and calming words.

My high school changed the GPA weighting system at the end of our junior year, completely screwing those who would've been the top ranked students. So there was this program called gifted and talented (GT) and it essentially boiled down to doing an extra project every six weeks in whatever class you took it in. These projects werent serious, and GT was mainly a title thing, so most of us blew it off as the counselor assured us it wouldn't affect our GPAs. Senior year begins, and the school announces that all students who participated in GT will receive a 1.1 multiplier to each class that it was taken in. So this boils down to the board member's son becoming valedictorian (despite B's and a general floating along in each class). My best friend (expected salutatorian) became salutatorian through a shit ton of extra credit and hard work (good job). The girl who was caught cheating on exams multiple times became third. And me, with my straight A's through highschool and lack of GT...I was ranked fourth. Fourth, with higher grades than all three above me! Fun fact, fifth had a softball scholarship, and also was caught cheating on exams. Everybody told me they expected I would be valedictorian. Eh, what does it matter. I received a two year merit-based scholarship to the local community college, which is much better than nothing. Still, I can't help but feel a bit let down.

Sometimes small town schools can be a bit crooked. Seems like it's a matter of who you know rather than what you know. Edit: There's an apostrophe or two missing in there. I apologize.

I'm trying to close my Bank of America account, and it's ridiculously difficult. None of the employees I've spoken with have been knowledgeable or helpful in the matter. I went to the closest branch to get my remaining balance transferred and close the thing. Should be simple right? I go to the counter and they say I have to talk to one of the account handlers. I mention my account is out of state, and they say that's okay. So I go talk to the account handler. She asks, "Is all your money withdrawn?" I say no, I want to transfer it. She says, "Oh, you'll have to go to the teller to get your money..." I'm like wtf, I was just over there and she told me to come here. Then the handler says we can file the request anyway, and pulls up my info. Oh wait, it's an out of state account. She can't do anything and I have to call customer support. Seriously, WTF. So I ragequit and go catch my bus home instead. That was yesterday. Today I tried again. I went in and got all my money in cash, so far so good. They still tell me to call customer support to close the account. Remembering the last time I tried calling (to get a replacement debit card) and couldn't get any service after three attempts… I'm trying online chat first. So I log in to the online service. It asks for the state my account is in, which I enter. I talk to some nice lady who supports my decision to hate banks, and everything seems to be going fine... Then she says, "Oh I see your account is in NY… I'm a California rep, I'll have to transfer you to someone else." SERIOUSLY, WTF I TOLD YOU IT WAS IN NY! So I get transferred to someone else, who goes AFK randomly and then tries to get me to open a new account. About 20 minutes later she finally starts the process to close… and then says she can't because I have some overdraft protection service active, which no one (during the 3 other times I tried closing) told me needed to be cancelled. I can't wait until this shit is over and I never have to do anything related to Bank of America again.

Went to a BofA branch twice, talked to 3 people, chatted online with 2 people, and I still have to contact them again tomorrow to close my simple checking account. Happy Cake Day, ApolloBrowncoat!

Former best buy employee here. That wouldnt work. A points membership would be connected to your receipt. And if someone let you slip by without one. They would get an ass chewing from hell. Trust me i.know. But in order to return items it would have to be stated within the manufacturers warranty that they are to be sent back to the factory and the store will be reimbursed.

Just take the broken headphones back. Use the manufacturers warranty. Buy blacktie if you are planning on using the same type for a year or more.

A friend, whom I have not kept in contact with much, is in trouble. He was homeless, wandering the street, and severely depressed and car jacked a guy with a knife so he could run away. He stupidly called a friend asking for downers in a moment of panic and turned the car around to go see a friend. Needless to say he was caught by cops and is now going to court in a week. We live in Canada BC so i doubt he will get jail time. However, numerous times he has gone to detox and skipped out early. I want to make it clear to him he has to go to rehab, and commit, if he wants to ever talk to me again. He was my best friend and it tears me up inside I don't even trust him in my home. How do I talk to him without him going over the handle.

Childhood friend got messed up on drugs, stole a car, now has a court date. How do I convince him to go to rehab and commit to it.

Me and my bf have been together since June. He cheated on me a little while later with one of his toxic exes and I broke up with him. But he managed to show me he regretted it and met every requirement I set. A couple days ago I found out he was talking to his ex/best friend in a way I found inappropriate. It wasn't sexual, but they told each other they loved each other, missed each other, and would send links to romantic songs or share romantic quotes from movies. I confronted him about it, told him he needed to get some help for his depression and that he was using her as a crutch. He agreed and I thought everything was going to be okay. On new years, after we got home I was intoxicated and said it felt like I was irritating him all night. I said I felt like I always irritated him. Somehow we got to him asking if that meant I wanted us to go our seperate ways and I said of course not. Then I asked him the same question and he said he'd been thinking about it these past few days. How he wanted to be a better person and it wasn't fair to me to be with me if he wasn't his 100% best. Personally I think k its bullshit. So he went back to his place and this morning ing I woke up to our relationship status changed and him having added back a girl who had caused problems early into our relationship who he had blocked. I'm not sure what my question is really. My first relationship was a mutual break up. And while we had our problems I love the guy and I didn't think we were to the place he wanted to break up. It hurts worse than I've ever felt. I guess what I'm asking is for y'alls opinion on what happened, maybe some help on how to get over this. I feel so overdramatic about how I'm acting but it hurts so so bad. Ive told him I can't be friends with him because I still love him, and I just feel so alone now. I know it will be okay and im probably better off but idk what to do. Plus its new years, my birthday is on Sunday and Saturday we had plans. It just sucks

My boyfriend broke up with me at 1:30am on New Years and it just feels really suddent and out of nowhere and I don't know how to cope.

Original Post]( Hi again. Thanks for everyone's advice and perspective on the original post about my partner's drunken claims that she had/would cheat on me and later that I would hit her. It really helped me be more proactive and honest with how I am feeling. Yesterday I told my partner that I was still struggling to forgive and forget what she had said despite the fact that she was sorry. For her part she was upset that things were still strange between us and wanted reassurance that I still wanted the same things as her (cohabitation, marriage). At her suggestion I spoke to a mutual friend and explained how I am feeling and that despite wanting things to work I can't commit to those things at the moment. Friend was very supportive of us both but pointed out (like many of you) that this behaviour was likely to reoccur and that saving the relationship at all costs was not going to help anyone. She also made me confront the fact that even at my very worst I would not do the same and that only I could decide what to do with that. I arranged to meet with my partner tonight to discuss but she jumped the gun and wanted to know what I was thinking by text. I explained and said that I wanted a break to try and work stuff out. She has responded saying she can't wait. I need the space so inclined to just break up, do what I need to do and if it is right try to reconcile. Thoughts?

Took the good advice I got about how to deal with my partners behaviour and have tried to get some space. Partner wants commitment so looking likely we will have to break up.

He (22) and I (F 21) have been casually seeing each other for seven months, officially dating for five. I've just left for Ireland for the semester, and he's at home in Boston, so I won't be seeing him until December. I sort of accidentally fell into this relationship shortly after getting out of a long term (three year) debacle with another guy. My current SO is wonderful -- he treats me well, loves me, cares about my happiness, can carry an intellectual conversation with me, is really just a great all-around fit. I have an exorbitant amount of trust issues, relating to previous relationships that have cheated on me, lied to me, sent me into a nice bout of clinical depression, the whole works. It left me extremely wary of trusting others, especially my SOs, which I made entirely clear to my current SO from the get-go. He was totally understanding, having dealt with similar things previously. He has a naturally flirtatious and overly touchy personality/way, which I'm dealing with and which we've talked very openly about -- he knows he does it, tries to dial it back around me, and insists that there's nothing emotional behind it at all. Still, it bothered me. He would often text "a friend from home," was excessively paranoid about me getting on his facebook account, all the usual suspicious stuff. Now, I did the thing where I went on his computer and accidentally on purpose ended up on his Facebook; please don't tell me I'm a horrible person, I know what I did was wrong and I felt guilty enough as it is. I've done a bad thing and now I'm left dealing with the consequences. I found...nothing good. He messages his ex constantly, tells her about our sex life, tells her he'll always have feelings for her, talks about how good their sex used to be (note: this ex lives ten minutes away from him). He actively flirts with a mutual friend of ours (one that we had a tiff over with the flirting originally). He (before we were dating) sent/received explicit pictures (no issue with this, except he vehemently denied ever having sent or received one ever before when the subject came up). I've haven't confronted him with this. I don't know how to, since it's such a betrayal of trust, and yet there he is, actively and continually betraying mine. What should I say? Should I say anything at all?

Through morally unsound means, I found out my SO spends his Facebook time flirting with other girls and talking to exes about missing having sex with them. Should I confront him?

I week before i met my new GF, i told a girl which i had been friends with for a very long time, that I was in fact very attracted to her, and that I always had been but was too afraid to lose my friendship... I told her not to have her change her behavior, but just to let her know.... (hey, maybe shes not okay with that. I was ready to accept any outcome) Anyways, then i find a GF. who I'm SUPPERRR happy with... The friendzone girl, asked me to call her when i was in the area... My new GF knows about this Friendzone girl, but doesnt know that I still talked to her. (I didnt say that I did or didn't, she didnt ask) Anyways, I can only imagine that my gf wouldn't feel very secure about me being still in contact.... (ive already lost a past gf to this friendzone girl causing insecurity) I know I wouldn't want my GF to be hitting up a guy who she has a kick on. So i didnt contact the friendzone girl when i was in the area. I later sent her a text to tell her that I found someone that Im very happy with, and that me being attracted to her, made me think I shouldn't contact her to hang out. The friendzone girl is super pissed... Am i being fucked up??? I kinda feel like shes not entitled to anything just because shes my "friend". I feel like if my gf is the #1 girl to me, i have every right to do what's best for me and my gf. opinions???? I want to make sure im not being dumb/unfair

Should I still hang out with a lady friend im attracted to if I have a new gf... Is it bad if i dont hang out with this lady friend?

I recently came to terms with myself for not liking xkcd comics, and this one is the perfect example of why. My view of humor is that something can only be funny if it is true on at least two levels. Puns are only funny for me if the play on words is as funny or witty as the statement would be without the word substitution, for example. In this comic, what it built me up for was that the girl would do a perfect neg, making the guy feel insecure and want her affection/approval. Instead, the girl simply destroys the guy in the most efficient and profound way possible, which is amusing, but not humorous per se. Basically, it's the kind of thing a lot of people would like to say by directing their anger at so called pick up artists, but it doesn't harness any of the potential humor-opportunity by turning it around on the guy, which was expected after the girl in the comic clearly demonstrated she knew what negging was. If a guy tried that 'line' on a girl, his buddies would point out to him he was negging wrong. Basically, xkcd comics are funny the way John Stewart is funny when he says "Look at what those stupid republicans are doing", as opposed to the kind of funny Colbert offers by pretending to BE said republican and taking that logic to its conclusion which usually reinforces both conservative and liberal world views in the respective mind of each by the time he is done with his best skits.

It's been difficult to accept this about myself, but I discovered I don't really like xkcd comics because they are more about railing against things that are already unpopular than profound or humorous commentary on life. Excuse me while I make this official at r/offmychest.

It is a girl I have know since 4th grade who asked me. I've been in a exclusive relationship for 4 months. She doesn't have a problem with me going, and neither do I. However, my friends prom is before my girlfriends prom, and I do not know if going to a Prom that night, with it being my first one, will make my prom with who I care about somehow less special to me? (Because won't be first time, maybe not as exciting?) Is this relevant if it does? Edit: words Just looking for any advice/insight.

Asked to prom by someone outside my exclusive relationship, her prom is before the one with my girlfriend, would attended that prom hurt my prom in anyway or make my prom less exciting, as it won't be my first time? Is this relevant if it does?

My dad did this at first; he was a football standout in high school who should have played in college. Naturally, he wanted his only son to play football, but -- after a week or two when I was 7 -- when he realized how much I hated going to practice but was scared to quit, he understood that I only ever did it to appease him. He immediately apologized and never pressured me into any sports ever again.

my dad did this when I was a little kid, quickly realized what he was doing, and apologized; told me he would be proud of me no matter what I did

Prayer" just means a sincere hope/wish/request. That's the meaning behind the phrase, "pray thee," found nearly 100 times in Shakespeare's works. In contemporary English, "pray" and "prayer" tend to be used more specifically, to refer to a request made to God/a divine being; however, that doesn't change the fact that pray/prayer in the context of "praying to saints" doesn't mean what you think it means. The Catholic Church has been praying to saints (asking them to pray to God for/with us) since long before the word "prayer" took on the narrow scope you're talking about. Also, if you're using demigod in the generally accepted sense (someone who is partially God or a lower-ranking god within a pantheon, or perhaps the offspring of a god and a mortal being), that is also a grand misunderstanding of what the Catholic Church believes and teaches. When the CC canonizes someone a saint, it is simply saying that this person lived a life of "heroic virtue" and, as far as we can possibly tell, is in heaven. Heroic virtue means the person went way above and beyond, giving all of themselves and more to do what is right and live out Jesus' instructions to love. The "as far as we can possibly tell" part has to do with the fact that the Church on Earth is not yet in heaven, so we can't do a roll call. That's why miracles must be attributed to that particular [potential] saint's intercession--as evidence that they are in heaven.

praying" is not an exclusively human-and-God communication, more broadly, praying is simply sincerely requesting something. You simply misunderstand the concept of the Communion of Saints and what the Catholic Church means when talking about praying to saints. Hope this has cleared it up!

This actually happened a few months ago: I woke up late and had to make a quick flight from San Francisco to Seattle for work. I rushed getting dressed and put in my contacts and left for the airport. Throughout the flight my eyes started getting more and more uncomfortable and by the time I got to my office they really hurt. I asked the office manager the location of the restroom, she pointed in a direction and handed me a key... I ran over without paying much attention to what she was saying, nearly blind, eyes watering and squeezed shut. I get to the bathroom and... sweet relief.. I took out my contacts, started getting my vision back and the bathroom stall opens.... I hear a female voice say, "uhh hello?" I look up in the mirror, see her looking at me confused, I am standing there with an "oh fuck" look on my face, eyes watery and red, tears streaming down my face. I just say..."Oops, excuse me" and ran out of there. Turned out that one of my contacts was torn and I didn't notice in my rush.

I put in a torn contact lens. By the time I got to my office, I couldn't see a thing. Ran into the wrong restroom and was met with a shocked woman walking out of the stall.

I met my boyfriend 3 months ago when I started doing volunteer work. Since then, we had quite a few dates. He invited me once to a small party with the inner circle of his friends. It was a very casual setting (casual clothes, junk food, beer, random talk about life) and I liked it a lot. A few days ago, he asked me to accompany him to a luxury event, since he got invited by the organizer. When I got there, I felt under dress. I am a primary school teacher so that kind of event was a first for me. It seemed like he knew quite a lot of people so the first hour was pretty much none stop introduction. It pissed me off that his acquaintances were looking at me like I was some sad puppy rescued by my boyfriend. By time, I was just waiting to go home. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, I saw him talking with one of the female friend he introduced me to. She was touching his arms and his chest and he didn't stop her. The worst thing is when he was about to leave, he gave her a kiss on the cheek. At that moment, I thought to myself that maybe she is just a really good friend. I know, I am probably kidding myself. However, the same thing happened again and again. I have never been insecure about my body or about my job. However, it is really starting to get to me when about half of the women we met that night are models. After a few minutes, I finally couldn't take being a stalker anymore and joined him. We had a few drinks and we left soon afterward. How should I talk to him about his behavior? When we were on dates, He told me that one of the thing that he liked about me is how confident and down-to-earth I am. That compliment really stuck with me. I don't want to appear as one of those possessive girlfriends, especially since we haven't been together for that long. Is he aware that it's not an appropriate behavior when you are in a relationship? You might think I am kidding, but I am really not sure. He is hugging what seems to be influential people left and right like it is the same thing as a handshake. Am I just overreacting because of the mood I was in? Is that kind of physical contact even something to be bothered with?

Boyfriend let girls touch him. It is bothering me and I am not sure if it is right for me to ask him to change his behavior, since he hasn't crossed the line (kiss on mouth).

Hey, at first some background information: My gf[24] and me[22] are dating for about 6 months, we live ~ 150km apart. We met through a mutual friend. We mostly see each other on weekends. Before our relationship, she was together with a good friend [20] of her, which didn't work out and she broke up with him after 3 months. He is her best friend and the only friend left which she can see without driving 30 min. Now the problem: The first three months she didn't see her ex very often. But after some time that started to change. At first they started texting and calling each other, mainly because he had some family/work problems. In the last 2 months they started to see each other more often, meet for sports or talking, etc. And recently they see each other each day, except when I stay at her place or vice versa. Since then I became really jealous and started getting a bad mood if she mentioned him or meets him. To me it looks like she exchanges me for him when we can't see each other. We've talked about it a couple of times, but only if one of us was mad already. I don't want to forbid her meeting him, she doesn't want to stop meeting him. For me it's not the fact that they meet, it's the frequency that really bugs me. I don't know what to do or say to her, because I want this relationship to work on a long term basis and the fact that I get a lousy mood almost every evening is not really helping.

GF and me live ~ 150 km apart. When we're not around each other she meets very often with her ex. I get jealous & mad. I really hope someone has a good advice for me... Edit: added Ages

My girlfriend of almost 3 years recently broke up with me because she was finding our long distance relationship strenuous. I understood its a fair point and there was no hard feelings and we stayed friendly, we didn't talk but if we saw each other we she was back in town we would talk for a small bit. Within the last month I found out she has been getting with a guy from my town who I completely hate (says a lot cause I'm not a hateful person) and she knew I hated him. When I confronted her see told me that she has liked him for over 6 years now and she is finally acting on it. So basically the whole long distance was complete BS! Now she's texting me very frequently asking why we can't be friends anymore and keeps trying to meet up with me. I basically want to tell her to fuck off but she has a lot of issues like being bi-polar, depression and abuse as a child. The guy she also likes completely stood her up and used her so it could be likely she wants to get back together. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

ex is desperately trying to be friends with after being stood up by a guy she liked and I'm trying to cut my ties without hurting her.

Background: I just got a bachelor's degree in computer science about a month ago and immediately after that I started a two moth internship at a software developing company. I think I've made myself pretty useful in my first month(I've developed a tool to help the other programmers, I've done some research on some new technologies to be used in further developing of our projects) since my boss decided that my internship will end sooner and I'll start with a full contract like the others. However, I discovered that he's offering me about 25% less pay than others, even though I will be doing the same work, the same hours. The thing is, the amount of money they are given should be confidential but they told me because we've been friends long before being colleagues. How do I ask for the same salary, without letting him know that I know how much the others are being paid?

Boss is offering me 25% less than the other employees and I don't know how to ask for more without letting him know that they've breached the confidentiality of salaries.... Edit : I forgot to mention that they were hired only two weeks ahead of me

As long as you're happy then that's what counts. If you do what you need to do to get shit done, that's what matters. I hated high school, so in grade 11 I dropped out myself. I chose to do off campus (like a schooling for adults) and I graduated top of my class that way. In high school I was a 60% student, in this off campus I had 90% and one 100%. So I took my own route.

Do your life the way you need to do it and it will come easier to you, live through someone else and you won't be yourself.

We met 4 weeks ago and started texting with each other. After one week, we started going out and we made out on the third time we went out. I asked her whether she had a boyfriend via text and she said no but she's dating someone. We continued texting to this day but I feel that we don't text as much as before/ she doesn't reply as well as she did before. How do I know if she likes me? Should I continue texting her/ ask her out?

Made out with girl -Told me she was dating a guy but she's single -She doesn't reply to text as well as she did before(she may be bored by me) -What should I do

There is a girl in my class and we usually study together before exams. We don't meet often, but when we talk we usually tease each other playfully. Sometimes she would poke me or randomly give hi- fives. One day she told me how there is a guy who is crazy about her. Saying he would put his arms around her and ask her to go out and eat at like chipotle or something. So i decided to playfully do what the guy did and put my arm around her and ask her out to eat at chipotle. She would then laugh really loud and say she wouldn't say no if i really meant it. I was wondering if i am reading too much into this and does this mean she just wants to be friends, since chipotle seems to be where "friends" eat?

jokingly ask girl out to eat "lunch" to mimic other crazy dude. She laughs and says she wouldn't say no if i meant it. Ask her out on date instead?

Don't badmouth your ex to your kids. You're still a parent, and it's still your job to be a role model for them and demonstrate how to act like a decent human being, even through trying emotional times. Bitch to your friends if you need to, but put on a brave face and conduct yourself like a fucking adult in front of your kids. Younger children will only be confused and upset; older kids and teens will see right through your bullshit, because they also play that game where they break up with someone and then try to turn as many friends as possible against that person. Doing that is immature and not helpful for anyone involved. As someone else pointed out, at some point you and your ex will have to both be present for some kind of event. Don't send the message that you won't be able to handle it; it puts unnecessary stress on younger kids, and makes adult children reconsider inviting both of you to important events in their lives. Is calling your ex-wife a bitch really worth missing your kid's college graduation? If and when you're ready to get back into the dating game, remember you are now a package deal. Even if you only get the kids on the weekend, they still factor in. Make sure anyone you start seeing understands that; if the new man/woman doesn't want to include your kids in your plans when you have them, doesn't want to make an effort to get to know them, or otherwise treats your kids as an inconvenience, it's on you to tell him/her to get over it or get out. Also related to dating, ask your kids what they think of your girl/boyfriend. Let them know their opinion matters, especially if you're considering remarriage. Don't dismiss any of their concerns. Trust, but verify - if your kid claims your girlfriend said something mean to her, ask your girlfriend, and make it clear that you won't let anyone treat your kids that way. That doesn't give your kids license to act like little shits just because they don't like him/her - definitely lay down the law on that, because it's not acceptable behavior. But it's on you to communicate with your kids and make them feel like they can express that they don't like your new gf/bf for whatever reason without you getting angry or dismissing their feelings. That reason may just be because the kid hasn't totally adjusted to the idea that you and your former spouse are no longer married, which is fine, everyone heals at their own pace.

In essence, the ideas you want to communicate to your kids are these: 1. "Your [mom/dad] and I both still love you." 2. "Your feelings are important to me."

A doctor sent my brother (15) home without x-rays or further examination after experiencing extreme chest pain and difficulty breathing because my brother had admitted to smoking marijuana earlier that day. He chalked it up to "sore lungs". My brother continued to have extreme pain for the next few days culminating in another trip the emergency room and then an ambulance ride to Orlandos Arnold Palmer Childrens Hospital. When he got there they ran all the tests and told my Dad that based on his white count they thought it was possibly leukemia. That was the most terrifying call of my life. After further testing and x-rays they discovered a hairline fracture in his sternum that had developed staph infection which has spread to his blood stream. He made it through fine after 3 weeks in the hospital, having a chunk of his chest bone cut out and rocking a picc line for 3 weeks after returning home.

Doctor missed my brothers sternum fracture because he attributed his chest pain to "sore lungs" from smoking marijuana. Brother ends up in ICU for three weeks with staph infection in his sternum that said doctor missed.

I knew this guy who would go to parties and let people kick him in the nuts. For years this dude took toe jam to the crotch. So I'm at the Halloween party, a kegger in this huge field with the barn set up like a rave. There's people with glow sticks, rednecks tearing up the field in their trucks, hot chicks dressed like whores. Great time. So out of the corner of my eye I see this guy, Big Ray and Im expecting him to get kicked in the balls, right? I'm hanging out talking to a Jim Halpert look-a-like drinking keg beer from a coffee mug. My roommate, who's too cool to wear a costume, is rocking a brand new jacket. He walks out the barn area and over by me to get some beer, right. So he turns and I notice, fucking wish I didn't, but I notice somebody had got some neon pink glow in the dark black light liquid on his brand fucking new jacket. Being the Apacge warrior descendant that he is, his reaction is of course to immeditalely remove the jacket, and work up his temper while screaming "Who the FUCK got this SHIT on my GODDAMN jacket?!?" No reply. The music goes down, people are just staring. He's freaking out. "WHO DA FUCK THINKS THIS IS FUNNY!?" I'm laughing, cos you know, he's my friend and the shit is like out of a movie. Finally he just gets so worked up, it's like he's turning into the fucking Hulk. For whatever reason, he just turns to Big Ray, and gives this kid the most powerful upper cut kick of fury to the dick I have ever seen. I mean, this Ray kid weighed a solid 280, and his feet were off the ground. I'm cracking up, my roommate storms off while his girl is like "It's fucking machine washable, you dick! This shit washes out with water!" Everything resumes party mode and shortly after this girl who once sucked my dick twice in a row comes up and drops this gem on me "Hey! Man, I got kicked in the face by my horse last week, check it out!" And using her tongue she drops her 4 fals teeth out exposing this mangled torture chamber looking mouth that I once had my dick in. I mean it was scary as shit, you know, being so unexpected. Plus, I was tripping so if you've ever done acid you know how that shit would just be a total mindfuck.

tripping acid at halloween party, Roomate kicked a guy in the nuts so hard he was lifted off the ground, chick showed her false teeth in weird way.

Reddit I don't trust people. I examine their motivations, whenever they tell me something. This mindset has allowed me avoid numerous pitfalls. In addition, I've read countless psychology books that have allowed me to get a sense of what people are feeling. In keeping with the aforementioned, I approach my romantic relationships similarly. I've met this girl (like so many before) that claimed to be "different". In short, she wasn't different. She may be worst. Other girls would confess once they were caught cheating. My ex rationalize away her responsibility for betraying me. Well if you would have done this or that, I wouldn't have "hung out" with your overweight friend. I may have had "some feelings" for for her. But my feelings for her, never outweighed my self interest. I detected or found out her game and I played her like a board game. I had this girl buy me everything under the sun. Having a little faith in humanity, I kept the possibility open of rekindling my relationship with my ex after I broke up with her. As a result, she showed herself to be like everyone else. I was not only betrayed by my ex, but my former friend as well. An aside, I laugh at the thought that he thinks he was my "best friend". I'm like an onion with multiple layers. It takes years and years to really know me. The fact that my ex thought she knew me in 6 months is laughable. My knowledge of psychology allowed me to see this a mile away. My friend and ex both have self-esteem issues. I on the other hand, have become really confident over the years from all the adversity I've overcome. For some reason I've found the weak resent the strong. My ex and former friend resented me, they wanted to bring me down a peg in self confidence. However, I'm more confident that I was back then. I'm also better off because this event revealed the snakes (ex and former friend) in my life for what they are. My former friend (work horse), I had him doing everything for me as well, thought he accomplished a "victory" over me from sleeping with a girl I was "with". In reality, she'd used/using him to get to me. He'll never be more than a sidekick. If my ex whom still claims to love me did this to me, what does my former friend think is in in store for him (a pawn) in our game. My peer group frequents this forum quite often. An appeal to Natalie (not her real name), is my gf's (best friend): Now that the sidekicks have each other, we should rekindle what we had before.

Reddit am I wrong for being cynical? Do you think this girl I thought had potential will stop rationalizing away the fact she cheated on me?

You are focusing on inane details that have no bearing on the discussion. Yes, vaccines are potent drugs that will kill you if you take too much. Since you are too lazy or unintelligent to find real information, I guess I'll have to do that.

giving babies too many vaccines does kill them. What I was comparing, correctly, was the fact that even very normal, mild medications have to be handled conservatively with infants who, meanwhile, receive large batteries of vaccines before they are 1 or 2 years old.

He has issues with his looks even though he is 6'2', has a handsome face, fancy clothing, fit body, and frequently reminded he is by me and our friends. We are regarded as the pretty couple and I tell him many times a day he his very handsome. I have recently tried to complement little things I like about him such as his eyebrows in an effort to make him see that he is HANDSOME! We are both still in college and he is very down about not having the best grades. It isn't that that he is failing but he strives to be the best. When he beats himself up it makes me very sad because I hate to see him hurt. I have tried to get him to see a therapist but he doesn't want to. What are some ways that I might boost his self worth? Should I stay out of it and let him resolve these issues?

My boyfriend hates the way he looks and thinks he is an idiot. How do I help him or should I let him work though it?

Some background info. As a web developer I'm always getting asked to do work for free. Besides this, I'm sure a lot of you guys can relate to being the computer support guy because you "know computers", by friends and family. Another type of semi annoyance exists where friends think they have the greatest unique idea, and without any funding or coding skills of their own they propose a joint venture where you'll get paid based on commissions of sales. Yes ladies and gents, what I'm describing here is a classic startup scenario. Most of these fail, but sometimes a few work out, which means that I tend to lend an ear to every new idea that one of my friends come up with. Like today. So I go and say yes, I'm interested, and within 15 minutes the conversation goes something like "Welcome onboard Partner!" Then just 30 minutes later while taking a dump, I realise that I've made a huge mistake. Now I don't want to come off as unreliable or skittish, so now I need to let the person down nicely, while at the same time keeping some dignity. Have you ever been in this situation? What are some ways to deal with it amicably? &

Offerred to do coding for a web site and got roped in as a partner, now I think its a bad idea and want out. How to get off the hook while not seeming full of shit.

I work quality in a plant that machines metal parts for air conditioners. I have to put every tenth part from every machine in my group (anywhere from 14 to 20 machines) through a seriea of long, tedious tests. If something is out I have to completely rerun whatever part of the test the error occured in to ensure it wasn't caused by me or my equipment. If the error is still present I send the part back to the operator with a printout detailing the problem. They are then suppose to edit the machine's CNC programming to correct the mistake, cut a new part, and send the new part to me to test and ensure the correction was made and that no further errors took place. Now, that's all fine and dandy when my machine group has a good crew running them. However, the majority of the people hired in the last two years don't seem to realize that the machines don't make the corrections for them. They turn in retest after retest with the same error out of tolerance by the same amount.

I am filled with the urge to bludgeon someone to death with a heavy metal part on a near nightly basis. This would, of course, lead to the end of my employment.

Hello Reddit, I won't bore you with all of the details of my relationship, but I could really use some help, I feel lost and could use some guiding words. Sorry if it is a little long. So as stated, we have been together for a little over 4 years. She's my first GF, and I'm her first serious BF. Anyways, out relationship has been mostly great, with the exception of the odd issue here and there. Overall we love each other more than anything, and we work well together. My GF has had depression since I met her. It has never really been an issue until say a year ago. With the jobs we both have, our schedules conflict all the time and we rarely get time together. We might get the chance to visit once or twice a week for a few hours, but overnight visits happen maybe once every 2 or 3 weeks. Since we don't see eachother that much she gets sad a lot, misses me (and I her) but she can't seem to deal with being alone. I am perfectly fine with it as I have other things to occupy my time. She doesn't really have any hobbies or any other friends to see so I'm the one she hangs out with most of the time. Anyways, we have been getting into a lot of arguments this past year and the main problem is that I don't know how to help her feel less lonely when I can't see her. Everything I seem to say doesn't help, and I have simply run out ideas. Dealing with this for so long has got me to this point, I feel I have tried everything I know, and no success. It has gotten to the point where we will be great one day, argument the next day, not talk for 1-4 days, and repeat. We both feel this isn't good for us, but there is no immediate solution to our issue. She is working on the depression, and I offer to help in any way I can. But this constant fighting is really taking a toll on us. So my question is, is it over? Is that the only solution? I want to stay with her and help her through it, but I don't know how long this is going to take. I figure I've seen it through this far, why quit now? On the other hand though I don't want to keep trying if we just fight and eventually hate each other. I love this girl a lot, but I feel like I'm at a cross-roads. Any advice?

GF and I argue all the time now, a large factor to that is her depression, she is working on fixing it, but I'm not sure this will be fixed before we hate each other.

Hey, so i met her 3 months ago in a club and things escalated kinda quick. Kissing in the club and then we started dating, also with a lot of kissing from the beginning etc. I offered her to make the dating exclusive after the first date. Some weeks futher we are doing heavy petting. And now we are in a relationship. So there was no room for feelings that could come up for something someone cant have. She doesnt live in my town, so its kind of a long distance relationship. My question now. I think i dont have butterflies in my stomach and i dont know if this is a bad sign. As we started dating it was good. Then i was unsure if i fall in love with her and maybe i could get (sorry for this thought) someone "better" and so on. But this thoughts settled. I really liked the dates. And i really like her, we are a good match i think. But there is still this feeling. I cant really describe it. Sometimes i think about how our break up could happen or if i gonna marry her one day. This thoughts started after we talked about starting a relationship. This is kind of the first girl, thats really into me, but she is not that girly about it, its all very rational. . Am i just scared because this is all so new and, or do i lack a important feeling towards her? PS: I told her im kind of unsure if this is right and she told me thats okay, its her first serious relationship too, and we are trying things out.

First girlfriend i dont know if its right to be with her, despite i really like her, but have kind of second thoughts or may be just scared.

OP, you need to figure out the opportunity cost of the money in the 401k. So, figure out how much money you would make in the 401k if you didn't touch it over the term length of PMI payments using expected returns or historical trends. Subtract the PMI payments. From there, figure out the value of the 401k after the term of The loan for PMI payments. If the two projection terms are different, project the earnings of the lesser terms to match the earnings of the longer term using expected returns or historical trends.

if the money borrowed from the 401k will net more in the market than it will from you paying an interest rate against it then you should leave it alone.

am I wrong? Yes. Back in the old days the Apple used different processors than other PC's and that gave them a more competitive edge for a niche market that required those processors. This was not an effective long-term strategy however and Apple began using Intel processors on their Macs, effectively making them the same as any other PC. The only real difference between a Mac and a "PC" these days is the operating system and software suite that comes with it. Yes there are specified hardware specs, but these can be replicated in any general PC setup. They're not particularly unique to Apple. Mac comes with MacOS, which is UNIX and BSD based. UNIX and BSD originated on what people call "PCs". The truth is, unless you're dealing with ancient (20 year old) hardware, all convention laptops and desktops are PCs. Some are made by Apple with OSX on them. Others are made by other manufacturers with Windows installed on them. As for games and programs, they run on both operating systems, though OSX has less support than Windows. I use Photoshop and edit videos on Windows just fine. Mac's hardware used be great for that sort of thing, but the times have changed incredibly.

Mac vs. PC is jargon. They're all PCs, just with different specs and OS's. There is no "better" between them. Mac happens to be more expensive.

I am a server and bartender so this tip is geared towards those who are seeing their money flow in daily as cash. This year I started keeping a calendar that was just for expenses to keep myself on track (I blow a lot of money on food, drinks, and tipping well). I have a green pen for the money I bring in each day, as well as a red pen for any expense such as gas, food, or bills. Keeping a visual track of my expenses let's me see how often I blow money when I could have had a pb&j and a banana at home for next to nothing. It makes saving money more like a game. Also helps you know exactly where you stand with your bills coming up and when it might be nice to pick up a shift. I am having fun trying to beat my high score each week. Especially when I have a good Sunday and start out ahead of the previous week :)

keep a calendar of your daily expenses and you will see what you could have saved had you not purchased crap you didn't need :)

When I opted to major in English, I got(and ignored) all the standard comments on how I was wasting my money and time. But as a sophomore in college, I'm staring down the barrel of the rest of my life. I see everyone around me settling into majors and the reality of having to find a career path to support myself until I die is starting to dawn on me. I'm stuck, Reddit, and I need to know how people in situations similar to mine handled this. I still have time to change majors without my English credits going to waste(I've pretty much filled the requirements for a minor). As for extracurricular activities, I'm currently being paid to write for my school's paper in the opinion section. It's something I love doing, even though the pay's shit, and I think I'm at least relatively good at it.

To the people who majored/at one point majored in English, what should I do to make sure I don't have to live off Ramen for the rest of my life? Any advice is appreciated.

I was recently in an extremely similar situation to yours. The girl I was dating was into me before I decided to date her, we had a ton in common (probably more than I have ever had in common with anyone I have ever met), and I tried really hard to trust her and let her get close to me (I am not great at opening up to people). Then, seemingly out of nowhere, and when I thought our relationship was at the best it had ever been, she started insisting I did not care about her, I never loved her, and the relationship “was not fun for [her] anymore.” It sucked...it still sucks...but there is nothing I can do about it. If she does not love me anymore, there is nothing I can do to change that. I wish I could give you an easy solution, but the truth is it is going to hurt and it may take a long time to stop hurting. The best advice I can give as to spend as much time with friends or other people doing things to keep your mind off your ex, and keep reminding yourself that if she simply does not have feelings for you anymore, then there is nothing you could have done.

sometimes people who used to be into you will lose interest in you, and there is nothing you can do. That does not mean you did something wrong.

I was with my bf for three years and we broke up about two weeks ago. I feel like I will be alone forever and I have no desire to date.

when should u date again after a break up? I'm having a hard time even thinking about it but I do t want to be alone forever either.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for just over 2 years now (with a break of 4 months). We are both in university, she's in her first year and I'm in my second. I love her to pieces, but our relationship has been rocky ever since we both left for school (a month ago). I'm the kind of guy who's able to go quite a long time with seeing my SO, and she used to be the same. However, since we got back together last year after a break-up, she has become quite demanding in the amount of time i spend with her. I dealt with it, but near the end of the summer it started to annoy me. Over the summer I'd see her quite frequently, at least 4 times a week because we lived pretty close. Before leaving for school, she'd always say "I expect to see you every other week", and I would sort of change the topic because I didn't want to discuss those sort of things, and I thought that much visitation was too much. Apparently, she took it quite seriously, and this has become the root of most of our arguments. Along with the fact that I don't often call her or skype her. She's threatened to break up with me but never has actually gone through with it, and I don't think she would. I feel like a real ass hole because I do love her, but our views of what a relationship should be are so different, and we're miserable about it. I like my independence, and my alone time, but she thinks that means I don't want to be with her. I feel awful, because I'm not caring for her the way she wants to be. I'm visiting her this friday, and that's when I'm going to make a decision. I know I'm the dick of the situation, but I just need help. What should I do about this?

My not-so long distance gf needs to see me me more than I need to see her, and i don't want to change, we're both miserable, is it worth it anymore?

my son went through EXACTLY the same thing. he refused to speak english. it was his own little language that perfectly mimicked the "music" of normal speech, and had inflection, sentences, and paragraphs. the only problem was that nobody could understand what he was saying beyond your basic mom-intuition. we called it "boogineese" because his nickname is boogie... original, i know. despite the fact that we spoke standard english to him consistently, with no baby talk at all, he still refused to speak english. he loved watching leapfrog and other educational shows, and could point out all his colors correctly and name letters and numbers. we asked his pediatrician about it and she quickly ruled out autism (he's interactive, was making good eye contact, was affectionate, would listen and obey direction, etc.). but standard speech never happened. until one day... when i went back to full-time work about a week or so before he turned 3, he went into daycare. after a week or two i asked his teachers how he was doing. he was reluctant to talk much in class, but other kids were able to understand him (somehow) and he still paid attention and followed directions. about 3 or 4 weeks after he started full-time daycare, he was incorporating more and more standard words into his babble. within a month after that, he was speaking just fine and interacting with us. his pronunciation is still a little babyish but he has completely dropped the boogineese babble except for when he gets UTTERLY frustrated and can't make himself understood. he's adding vocabulary on a daily basis and comes up with utterly hilarious and sometimes very insightful commentary. he didn't need therapy, he just needed interaction with other kids and a little bit of "competition".

your friend's kid is fine and will probably start speaking normally when he gets into daycare or school and starts interacting with other kids. if his speech is his ONLY issue, there's nothing to worry about.

Late but I recently had the worst customer service experience of my life. I live in Calgary and it was the first day of the Stampede. I had worn my cowboy boots that I had bought back in October to work that day for the occasion, but changed out of them to go home because I'd only worn them twice now and they hurt a little. I toss them in my backpack and head over to the mall on my way home to buy these shoes that I'd had my eye on for a while. Spend more money than I'd like on them, leave my email for some points thing because I'm a student and free stuff can be cool, and head home. When I get home I discover that one of my boots was missing. I figured that it had fallen out of my backpack somewhere along the way as it has the tendency to flop open. I immediately called the mall lost and found but nothing had turned up. Because I couldn't get back there until Tuesday, and had no means of contacting the stores I'd been in, I figured I'd wait until then to head over and ask the employees. Tuesday rolls around and I go and check at the shoe store, thinking that maybe they kept it because it could have been confused for one of theirs even though I got them elsewhere. The girl says they 'might still have it' giving me hope, as when I asked her if a shoe had been found she said yes and matched the description of my boot. A few minutes later, she comes back with news I'd never expect. They threw out my fucking boot. My brand new, leather, single boot. Not just that but the girl says they threw it out the next morning, so before I could have even gotten there to ask. Even though the mall has a lost and found that they could have just as easily dripped my boot of at, as any logical person would do. I phone the manager only to hear that his reasoning for throwing out my expensive boot (right as stampede began no less) was that 'sometimes people leave behind their old shoes for us to throw out.' The funny thing is, it was JUST one shoe, brand new and barely worn. If it was a pair of old looking shoes, okay they might not be coming back for then, BUT I STILL HAVE THE OTHER GODDAMN BOOT. In the end, the guy tells me that they'll get back to me and reimburse me or whatever, and yet a week and a half, almost 2 weeks later, after Stampede has come to an end and after the boots I had been looking forward to wearing specifically for this week have less of an importance, I have STILL not heard a word back from the fucker. I want my boot back.

Accidentally dropped a single, brand new boot in a shoe store. They throw it out the next day instead of bringing it tithe lost and found. Still bootless.

I am posting today in hopes that somebody can point me in the right direction for how best to help my mother. Her husband passed away last Sunday and I am worried that due to her meek and easy-going personality that she will get taken advantage of by his family (specifically his two sisters) during the probate process. (This suspicion is NOT unfounded but it IS another story) They have been married for 13 19 years but estranged for the last ~~6~~ 8 years or so. He lived in the same house up to the day he died that they shared before they became estranged. She did sign a pre-nuptial but insofar as she understands the language was mostly to protect the house in the even that she divorced him (which never happened). They had a few joint checking and credit accounts that she never removed herself from but for which she did cut up the cards long ago. I spoke with my dad (layman) and he basically said she needs to lawyer up with a probate attorney and that one could likely be found by contacting a legal aid office, but I have no idea what criteria would be used for her to select an attorney. A bit of context: My mother is the most kind, honest and easy-going person in the world. She is so meek in fact that she very rarely (if ever) fights for what is hers and so that is why I am trying to help her... only to make sure that she doesn't get steam-rolled. Just looking for some honest advice here. Thank much for taking the time to read this, it is greatly appreciated.

My mom's husband passed away and is one who will rarely if ever stick up for herself... I am trying to help protect her from her estranged husband's family's greed.

I [28/M] had a spotless driving record and 'P' car insurance for many years just because I was too lazy to look for anything else and I saw my premium dropping slowly with 'P'. I finally looked around some options (via Nerdwallet) and found I could get a much better rate with 'G' with significantly more coverage. 'P' even called when I cancelled and admitted they couldn't match the rate I was switching to. By doing this, I dropped my rate from $61/month to $38/month with MORE or equal coverage in every area. Car never changed (besides getting older). [success #1] A couple months ago I had my first at-fault slow-speed accident (gosh Mini Cooper trunks bend so easily...) with no damage to my car. I got my renewal policy in the mail from 'G' and it went up to $59/mo. I figured it would go up, but this was my only minor accident in 12 years of driving! I was still getting more coverage than my previous provider for slightly less so I wasn't super annoyed, but wanted to see if I could do anything about it. So I sent 'G' and e-mail through their system asking about the high premium and emphasizing my good record. They responded with a "we're sorry, but..." boilerplate reply and I figured that was it. Then just a few days ago, I got notified that my premium went back down to $39/mo. Huzzah [success #2]! I'd like to think it was because of my message, but I'm not positive. Hope you can learn from this and save yourself.

1) shop around insurance companies for better rates. 2) It doesn't hurt to send them a message asking to review your record for a better rate. Cheers.

A bit of background: I used to swing a lot growing up just hitting balls with an iron in a field and had a pretty consistent swing. I never hit a course though and there's a period of about 9 years (16 to my current age of 25) where I didn't golf at all except the odd time at the range. So it's my second time on the golf course, a little 9 hole called Airlanes as it is situated on an airport approach. 18$ a round. I was using my friends clubs because I had outgrown the set I owned. My swing was vastly improving through the round, specifically my drive which I had landed on fairway the last 3 holes. Which brings us to hole number 9. I sliced my first drive hard and, it being the last hole, decided to Mulligan. I put the tee up high and lined up my shot. The backswing felt all wrong, the club felt a bit flimsy but I stayed the course and swung forward. The ball went about 15 yards. The head of the driver, on the other hand, sailed a good 35. I stared in disbelief at having just destroyed my buddies 300$ driver. My friend was all good about it and I'm going to chip-in on a replacement. But there is nothing more disconcerting than watching part of the club overshoot your ball.

newbie golfer. Outshot my own ball by breaking the driver head and watched it sail 30 yards. 300$ driver. On mobile so I apologize for formatting.

Kind of a backwards answer. When I was maybe six or seven years old the bike rack in our garage fell on top of my dad's 50s VW Beetle that he'd had forever and really dented up the hood and roof. I remember I was reading some picture book about firemen or some shit on my bed when he comes storming into my room in a fit of rage (to this day my dad still scares the shit out of me) and demanded I tell him if I did it or knew about it. For some unknown reason I confessed even though I was never in the garage and he flipped a shit on me. I said I was kicking a ball in the garage and it hit it and started to wobble then fell over on the car. To this day he still thinks I trashed his beloved Beetle and brings it up every once and a while when we work on it or drive it. I've never told him I didn't do it because I'm sure he wouldn't believe me, pretty dumb.

bike rack fell on my dad's 50s VW Beetle and wrecks it. I confess to a crime I didn't commit for some unknown reason, 20 years later he still believes it was me

Basically, bonds hedge against market downturn because they are not very correlated with equities (barring a massive crisis like 08). For one thing they (at least government/high-grade corporate) aren't as volatile (and have lower returns) compared to stocks, and in addition they don't go up and down in tandem with stocks. You are 100% correct that you don't need them if you are 37 years from retirement, because buying them would be essentially hedging against stocks under-performing bonds for the next 37 years, which will almost certainly not happen given historical market performance. Diversification is really all about hedging your bets. The reason the old rule of thumb is bond=age is that it re-inforces the point that you should increase the amount of bonds you hold as you age. That doesn't mean selling your stocks and buying bonds, it means slowly shifting your new purchases more towards bonds. The reason you do this is because as you get closer to retirement, the chance that stocks will underperform bonds over that time period gets higher and higher. Think of the typical advice given for saving money. Long-term savings can be risked for higher reward, and short-term savings belongs in a savings account or CD, etc. The closer you get to retirement, the shorter-term your retirement account needs to be.

the bonds=age rule is very conservative. you don't need bonds until you're 30 and start with bonds=age-10 to 20 based on your risk profile. Or just use riskier bond funds. That way you get the benefits of low correlation without as much sacrifice of return.

Cross post with r/askreddit and r/dreams I had a weird dream about a girl I like. Not much really happened, but it sure left me feeling weird when I woke up. Essentially, it consisted of me being in what I think are multiple class rooms, and I'm trying to talk to this girl (we'll call her Kate). I'm trying to talk to her, and I get snippets of conversations in, but she ultimately talks to other people surrounding her. There were other surreal things going on (as this IS a dream) but the overall feel of it was me trying to talk to her, and I can't get a real conversation going because she is usually doing something else. I have no problem linking this to real life. At school, I have no classes with her, but we have the same lunch period. I always say "Hi" to her when I pass her, and on the rare occasions when I see her alone, whether it be walking to class, or waiting for someone, I strike up a short conversation with her before she has to go. The part of the dream that shows me trying to talk to her could be me always just saying "Hi" when I pass her, and waiting for her to be alone to talk deeper with her. We have gone skating once last year, but since then, she's always been busy. I don't think she's avoiding me, because her excuses are legitimate. She plays sports, and on the day of my birthday, she had a game, and couldn't come. I could tell that she wanted to come though. In real life, this annoys me, but in my dream, I felt lonely, and like she was really far away. I don't really have a huge crush on her, I just want to get to know her. What are your thoughts?

I had a dream about trying to talk to my crush, but kept failing to hold a long conversation, which is also what happens IRL.

I -just- got out of a three year relationship and want to be able to meet new people and go on dates (the meet new people isn't limited to girls) but I don't want to get into a steady relationship or give off the signals that I want to start dating exclusively again. I just want to go out and have fun with the opposite sex doing whatever. I should clarify this doesn't mean having sex with as many women as I can, I actually don't mind not being sexually active for long periods of time so this has nothing to do with that (though I am not opposed). I should mention I am a pretty small town kind of guy and only really know the traditional way of dating but am super willing to break that mold. I am looking for specific ideas but any info is nice. thanks all

I want to date but I don't want to accidentally get stuck in a relationship after just getting out of one. how? edit: by meet guys I don't mean date them

This is an odd one and it happened pretty recently, I even have a picture of the wound if needed. About a month ago I was out for a drive with a couple of my friends and we decided to stop into a Tesco store we were passing to have a look at the games. We were perusing the games, me and one of the guys trying to coerce the other into buying Borderlands 2 so he could play with us online. I kinda get pulled away for a bit to look at other stuff myself and pass an Xbox 360 which is very obviously broken as the power button is missing leaving a gaping hole in the front of the console exposing all the chips and electronics inside. I notice a sign above the console saying something like, "NOT FOR SALE! DUMMY CONSOLE! FOR DISPLAY ONLY!" So I started pushing my fingers at the hole on the console and made a "well isn't that obvious" kind of groan, like "uuuugh" . Before I knew it though, two of my fingers were stuck in the console and I couldn't get them out. Panicking and not wanting to alert my friends who would more than likely just laugh at me and take photos I tugged my fingers right out of there and walked away quite happy until I could feel blood trickling down my finger. Looking at my hand again, my finger was now caked in blood and wasn't stopping so I told my friends who laughed at me as I looked for antibacterial wipes and plasters in the shop feeling like a complete idiot.

I fingered a broken Xbox 360 until my finger bled. Edit: Here's the photo, it was a bit more bloody than this initially and this was taken after being cleaned up a bit.

This is such a stupid question. So basically, my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 3.5 years, and we're in our last year of college. We started being fully intimate about 6 months ago. It doesn't hurt or anything anymore, it actually feels kinda nice. Something about the situation always makes me emotional. It's sort of a ritual for us. We go to his dorm room every other Saturday (when his roommate is out of town for club sports and such) and turn out the lights. It's a slow, loving experience. I always end up holding him and crying a little at some point. I just love him so much. I know he feels the emotional connection too, but it's getting ridiculous that I tear up every single time. Is there a reason I keep crying like this? How do I fix it?

I'm still crying happy, scared, vulnerable tears whenever I'm intimate with my boyfriend. It's not very sexy and I feel silly. How do I fix it?

My girlfriend of two years is currently studying abroad. I am going to visit her next month, but already the time spent apart has been tough. Well now a couple days ago a group of her friends (including an ex-boyfriend of hers) who happened to be travelling near where she is came to visit her in the small village in which she is staying with a host family. Her host parents said it was alright if they stayed in the house, but there aren't enough beds so it will be two-to-a-bed for the few days in which they are there. I was already feeling a bit funny that she would be hanging out and partying with an ex-boyfriend of hers on the other side of the world, but today when talking she just casually dropped that THEY are sharing a bed together. She had mentioned the shortness of beds before but I had just assumed she would be sharing with one of the girls in the group. When I said that I was absolutely NOT okay with them sleeping in a bed together (I mean, come on!) she seemed shocked that it bothered me. She says that they are just good friends and that I should have more faith in her, she seemed genuinely upset that I didn't trust her to be in that situation. Reddit, am I actually out of line here? I mean I do love her and trust her completely but I still find it bizarre that they couldn't have found a better sleeping situation, and even more bizarre that she expected me to just be completely cool with it.

GF is currently overseas and sharing a bed (platonically, I'm assured) with her ex for a few days, gets mad at me for questioning her about it

I don't think that is necessarily true. I have never raped anyone, never beaten anyone up, but had I been born 100,000 years ago I might very well have. The problem with the view that espouses humans are naturally these murdering creatures is that is misses a historical perspective. Most wars/conflicts are fought over resources and historically mother nature was the sole arbiter of what we deserved, and she was never fair. Droughts caused humans to fight over fertile land. Access to rivers and freshwater were the cause of so much conflict in history. We physically are no different than our ancestors but in large part we don't fight. This has two reasons: one, we have exploited our resources so that many humans don't have to kill to eat, second, our culture has become more peaceful. Culture is the key. As we culturally become more accepting of others and recognize that sharing our resources benefits us all, we will undergo a paradigm shift. I can even see it in my own lifetime. When I was a kid and bush was president, markets and greed were king. My teachers would say 'greed is good' and everyone would look around nodding in agreement. Since then the plights of the poor in the world have become much more noticeable. You can see there is a general trend away from being greedy, a trait that for the last half-century was held in high-esteem. I don't believe communist policies will be adopted even anytime soon, but the nature of humanity is change. Capitalism is predicated on axioms that are inherently flawed, and was the world turns it will become more apparent. The drive for profit and the compulsion to acquire capital are both engines for inequality and I think that humans have natural tendencies to produce equality (see equal rights). I think the only thing retarding it in today's world is there is a lack of dissemination of critical information. This however, is merely a stumbling block. The ownership of information is quickly becoming public. On a free internet with a right to speech, it becomes impossible to hide injustices for long.

Our current dependence on capitalism is merely a product of our time and in a 100+ year retrospective glance will look naive, not the other way around.

I was 20 when I learned that for most women, the hymen is not a membrane that stretches across the entire vaginal opening, but rather a doughnut-shaped membrane with a hole in the center. And that during childhood most hymenal tissue wears away from walking, athletics, washing, self-exploration and masturbation etc so by the time sex happens, it's usually not even an issue. (Something like 1 in 200 women have a hymenal opening too small to fit fingers, tampons etc.) So the pain from first-time sex is a combination of an anxious girl (who is maybe not quite ready to do this, and let's not even get into issues of possible non-consent) not being relaxed enough to produce enough natural lubrication for things to be comfortable, plus an anxious, inexperienced boy most likely rapidly pistoning away like he's seen pornstars do, leading to abrading the vagina, hence the blood.

most hymens are NOT a membrane covering the vaginal opening that requires "popping" for first-time sex and that bleeding from "popping your cherry" was likely because you weren't turned on enough or relaxed enough or going slow enough (or consenting enough) to enjoy yourself!

So we met last summer, and he is the best thing that ever happened to me. Very kind and affectionate and all I could wish from a bf. In the beginning of the relationship he told me that sometimes he suffers from irrational fears such as: we're all going to die and the world has no meaning. I told him we all feel the same sometimes and if he ever needs to talk, I'll be there for him. However, for the past 2 months I felt like I was losing him. He became colder with me and he would lose his temper easily. Lately, I tried to approach the issue and we had long talks. He said he still loves me very much, but he can not have me around, because he feels like he needs to be alone. He says he feels miserable and hates himself and is afraid of anything regarding the future. One night he said he had to drink a whole bottle of some strong drink to be able to fall asleep because of his anxieties. He does not have any drinking problems and he rarely gets drunk, so this drinking to fall asleep took me by surprise. On the other hand, he is going out with his friends, but refuses to see me or talk to me. His explanation was that he goes out with them so that he can forget about his fears, but he can not have me around, because I am more meaningful to him and thus he does not want me around. He did not talk to his family for about 2 weeks either. They usually talk about twice a week. He says he had these episodes before, and they would last a few months. I explained to him that this is not healthy and he should seek professional help, but he refused entirely. I also told him I'll be there for him and try to help, but he said he feels very pressured because he knows I am waiting for him to get back to normal. I told him I will take my time and help because I want to. To which he said: "Yes, but I can not guarantee I will feel the same about us when I snap out of it and so you should be free to do what you want and not wait for me." I am now confused whether this is just a lame excuse for a break up or whether his depression is real. If it is real, I want to help him, but I don't know what else to say to him. Do you guys have any suggestions?

BF says he is depressed and pushes me away and won't accept any other help. I am not sure if that's just an excuse for a break up.

me and my girl have been going great but its always someone thats trying to talk to her and one guy especially and he wont stop he says he wants to fuck her and things i dont know him so i dont saying anything about it to him and it makes me feel stupid and want to break up with her so he can have her i just dont know what to do at this point its getting old

guys keep talking to her and i cant stop it i feel dumb and dont know if i should break up with her to end this

So I'm in a bit of a dilemma. A friend of mine, let's call her Bonnie, that I've known for almost 20 years has started dated another friend of mine, we'll call him Troy. Bonnie and I have an unorthodox relationship I guess you could say. We both tend to be EXTREMELY crass in our humor and will say things to each other you don't just say to everyone. Bonnie moved into a communal living space I live at but spends all of her time at Troy's. In 2 months she's spent one night in her room. So now, after a birthday party nearby they're both at the space, it's like 2am, everyone's drunk. I come home from a different party and notice that they're around. As I'm walking up the stairs I shout, "Where's Bonnie I wanna stick my dick in her ass!" While it was intended as a term of endearment Troy is now enraged beyond belief that I would say such a thing and disrespect his girlfriend in such a way. Bonnie doesn't care at all, except for the fact that he's upset. She just wants the whole thing to be done and over with.

long time friends boyfriend is pissed at me, she's not bothered at all except for the drama he's creating and wants it to end. So Reddit, should I bite the bullet here and apologize, even though I haven't really done anything wrong, to make her life easier?

I have also asked my FH for his perspective on it. It was interesting. "You're looking at a guy's problem from a girl's perspective, and that's where you're going wrong. If his problem is either I don't have any friends or I can't decide which of my friends to ask then it's a different story. But if it's just him putting it off til the last minute..." "But what about tuxes and boutonnieres?" "Boutawhats?" "The... chest flowers..." "Oh, those. What about them?" "They need to be ordered. And so do the tuxes. You wouldn't be giving them enough time--" "It's fine." "It's not, though. You're supposed to get them taken care of AT LEAST two months--" "Plaidmonkey... seriously. It's fine." "So you're saying that it would sound like an overreaction to him?" "Uh, yeah." "Ugh."

according to another foot-dragging FH, he's got it under control, just trust that he'll come through for you. Take a deep breath and try to concentrate on what you CAN control.

Not my table but I was in the dining room. This party of 3 enters which are 2 short obese women followed by 1 very thin male friend. They sit at a booth. They start to chit chat about various things. Perfectly pleasant to the server. They order and wait for their food. All of a sudden a giggle happens. Then two. Then the guy sort of joins in. So, my waiter super hearing kicks in and starts listening to the conversation. "OH my GOD!!! You do that too?!?! I thought I was the only one!", said woman #1. At that point, #2 is just just nodding and giggling with her hand over her face, "sometimes I take the whole stick and roll it in cinnamon and sugar! Land O' lakes is THE best!" more giggles exchanged . Woman #1 retorts, a little quieter, "sometimes... when I'm sad, I eat the whole pound", more explosive giggling and smiles . Woman #2 "we are SOOOO bad!"... I couldn't believe my ears. Never in my life have I ever looked at a stick of butter and said, "Yes, that looks nice, I'll have that." Let alone figure out toppings. Frankly I was impressed.

two women discover they both eat entire sticks of butter as a snack and have developed this behavior independently of each other. Haughty giggling ensued.

Three months ago my boyfriend (26M) and I (26F) moved halfway across the world (Europe to Cambodia), expecting to stay 6 months to a year. Both my parents and my boyfriend's parents said they wanted to visit, and we (sort of) agreed. We said they are welcome to visit but we have our own lives here, would have to work, and therefore we couldn't host them all day. Their holiday, not ours. They agreed. It did not go well at all, both sets stayed over a week at our place (consecutively) and both sets were in our space a lot and demanding so much time. My boyfriend's parents didn't bother me so much as they are just a bit chatty, but with my own I obviously have a more complex history and some deep-seated issues posed a problem. I would occasionally be short with them and then feel bad about it. I felt frustration, annoyance, guilt and shame, and frankly it was a shitshow. I should explain a bit more. My parents, and particularly my father, do not treat me as an adult who makes her own choices. They'll criticize my choices, my life etc., I'll get defensive, and then they feel vindicated as I've shown I can't behave like an adult. They also use my guilt as some sort of fucking weapon ("boyfriend and I would like to go to X after dinner for drinks together" "why, don't you want to be with us, don't you like hanging with us, don't you love us?") I hate that and will act angrily. For me the visit was very stressful, but my parents act like I'm crazy as they're only acting in my best interests. They do not see their own behavior like this and I didn't discuss my view with them as such conversations never end well. They can dish out criticism but not take it. I feel I should be able to host my parents for a week without acting like a child and feeling non-stop guilty and anxious. On the other hand, I'm 27, did not invite them, and indicated multiple times I need some space, which they did not respect. Then again, they're generally good parents, we love each other, and I want a good relationship with them. Am I just being an ungrateful, immature child? Can I tell my parents I don't want them to come over? In future, when I'm home, can I tell them they can't be in my life as much as they want? Boundaries - how do they work?!

My parents came to visit me in a foreign country and I was rude as they make me anxious. Am I too hard on them and should I learn to be kinder?

I should preface this that my family is LDS (mormon), I'm not anymore. The last few years my brother has been smoking a significant amount of weed, and my parents found out about it a few months ago. He still lives with them, and they were very pissed and started drug testing him. Which he has failed multiple times. He has been getting a lot of crap from family lately. I think he is tired of the negative attention and has decided to throw me under the bus. I live in an apartment and have been enjoying some new found freedom. I was also dating an old friend from high school who knows a lot of the same people I do around the start of this. He began assuming I was upset with him all the time, and tried guilty me into sending nudes by saying "Don't you like me enough?". So I stopped talking to him, turned him down, and even ignored his snap the other day. Well I pretty sure this guy told one of our mutual peers some things I would rather my parents not know about me. This may be complicated but I'm pretty sure the mutual peer told my brother. Now my brother told my parents that I've been drinking alchohol. My parents are acting disgusted towards me, even though I denied it because I don't want them in my business. Now my brother is saying he has even more secrets but is saving them until I do something to piss him off I guess. We're definitely not close, but I have no idea why he's doing this to me. How do I handle this with my brother? Should I say anything to the guy who I was dating?

My brother is practically blackmailing me with some secrets that I don't even know. He plans on telling my parents next time I piss him off.

Okay, so I have a friend who I met through online gaming and have known for a few years whose SO recently broke up with him. He's a bit awkward and doesn't have any IRL friends apparently. All of the friends he had, for the most part, were mutual friends of him and his SO and when they broke up, most everyone who he considered a friend cut ties with him to continue being friends with his SO. Now he constantly tries to keep in contact with me to the point where it's almost harassment. It's quite obnoxious, and I want nothing more in the world than to tell him to fuck off and be done with him, but ethically I can't. This isn't aided by the fact that he told me that I'm the closest friend that he's got; I don't want to be that.

Random internet friend's SO broke up with him, took all of his friends, I'm now his closest friend and I don't want to be >_>

I'm 18 and live with my mum along with my sister who is 19. My mum is divorced and receives a relatively low salary every month but does get plenty of benefits and has quite a bit in savings. I love my mum, she has literally provided me with everything I want and need (within limits ofcourse). However she has certain 'rules' that I must follow like never drinking alcohol due to previous experience and her upbringing and also no drugs. These I understand but I do not agree with so I do not follow (without her knowledge) Anyway the point is, my lovely mother who has raised me with everything I want, wants me to stay with her after uni, and into adulthood. When I start earning, she wants us to get a house together so if I ever get married my wife would have to come live with us which is really not what I want. I feel so bad for saying this as she has given me plenty throughout my childhood, she always let me go out, hardly ever said no to anything I wanted to do/get. Yet I don't really want to do this. She is a Hindu and still has a few traditional viewpoints on life, however I am an athiest. It is relatively normal in our culture for younger kids to take care of their parents after they start working and live with them, but personally I prefer to live alone; she sort of just expects me to live with her after uni? I know plenty of you may be wondering why I am worrying about this considering I have not even started uni yet, but I just need to know how to handle this now and let her know my feelings without offending her. I don't want to be stuck in a situation where I have no choice :( By the way I have no problem in living on my own and providing for her separately, but I have no idea about how to go on having this conversation with her.

Mum want's me to stay with her into adulthood, I don't want to but don't know how to go on about it talking to her because I feel like absolute shit.

So, I [posted earlier]( about college making me depressed, and I now feel assured in my initial, tentative idea that dropping out is the right choice for me. The only problem is, I have no where to go. I can't return home, and I don't have friends (okay, I do, but they're all at sucky places in their lives and can't help me). I know getting a job is the first step to independence, but I'm in a state I recently moved to and absolutely can't stand. I need to live somewhere else. How can I get from here to there? I have $500 and can probably get my hands on another $1000 if I really need to. I'm ready to start working, I'm just the sort of person who needs other people. I'd get on a bus or train to LA tomorrow provided there was someone waiting at the other end with a pillow, a sleeping bag, and open arms. The Internet MUST have some way of helping me find a future. It has never failed me before. Please, don't fail me now.

I need someone to be my lifeline and help me move one with life. I'm so pathetic I'm asking Reddit to help me find them.

My SO often leaves to go on solo vacations, anywhere between 2 weeks (beach vacation) and 3 months (visit family far away). I am totally fine with this. However, whenever she gets back, I seem to be the lowest item on her priority list. Last time she spent 3 months at home finishing her master thesis. By the time she got back she had not finalized her thesis and had 2 weeks to finish it up after returning. In these 2 weeks, she had no time for me, even after being absent for so long. This time she was gone for 6 weeks visiting her family. Her mother come back with her to visit for 2 weeks. In these 2 weeks, she again had no time just for me. I spent time with her and her mother, but I got no solid "us" time at all. There are always rational explanations, which I can understand, but emotionally I just feel neglected. Everytime I tell her how I feel, I get all these excuses why she does not have time for me, but she wishes she did. In my opinion; where there is a will, there is a way. I feel like I would go to far lengths to get this emotional "us" time, sacrifices need to be made to maintain a relationship. I have noone to talk to about this...my family is not a fan of her, due to her "cool/cold" nature. What I describe here are the most extreme examples of this behaviour, but there are other aspects where such behaviour is also present. Often her needs will trump mine. Everyime I try to explain, she seems dumbfounded. I don't even know what to think anymore, I just get a stomach ache thinking about it. Am I being to rational-to understanding? To willing to accept these "faults" in a relationship?

Feel low priority in the relationship; always get rational excuses as to why the situation is as such that I can understand, but I feel emotionally neglected nevertheless. Am I to understanding?

Academically I was always a few steps ahead of kids my age. By the time my sophomore year came around I was ignoring my teachers and classmates entirely (no troublemaking at all, just a very polite disinterest) and conserving energy for all the more interesting things I'd be doing from 7PM to 6AM each night with a bunch of down to earth college age kids I ended up knowing through social circles. And by 'more interesting things' I mean heavy drinking, petting, and grass usage to influence the pantshittingly sophisticated art of TCGs and video games in my friend's basement. My parent's had no idea; I was a practiced con artist. My social life and experiences actually flourished through those years and some experiences helped mold me into who I am today, but my education completely stopped. I fucked out of school entirely with the brilliant teenage logic of, "You go through school to make grades and develop into an adult, but grades are worthless and these guys ARE adults and they're cool and they like me enough. I'm still smarter than the rest. I'm already matured enough. I'll learn more out here anyway." The little crumbled paper that has GED stamped across it is sitting in a box somewhere in my closet with a bunch of things I'll never get to experience because I was a pretentious shitbird.

Thought that since I was so smart in school and had adult friends, I could just leave and go safely experience 'the real world' as a sixteen year old girl decorated in nerd flair. I went full retard and will always regret.

I have a similar story. At one house I lived in, we had a patio cover in the backyard. The house also had a pigeon problem. The pigeons would roost in the attic all the time. There were vents in the attic through which the pigeons could enter and exit. Some of the less used vents still had some mesh screens. One day my brother and I were fucking around and he locks me outside in the frontyard. "Maybe I can get in through the backdoor" I think to myself (and it won't be the last time I think that). I hop the side gate and head towards the backdoor. I remember the weather was clear and we hadn't had rain for a while. I was also barefooted. I run up to the backdoor but before I even begin trying to get in, I notice that there's something squishing all under my feet. The patio was made of clay tiles... As soon as I look up, maggots are wriggling down onto me. One of the pigeons in the attic died trying to get out and its rotting corpse fell onto the patio cover. I looked down and figured out the squishing underneath my feet was from the pile of maggots that formed right under the dead bird.

I got maggots rained down on me from a dead bird while I squashed the ones that made it to the floor with my barefeet.

I had been in love with the same guy since I had first moved into the neighborhood (in 2003), and endlessly had tried to just get him to pay attention to me and want to date me. By senior year of high school, a lot (okay everyone...) knew that I was really into him, even if I had dated a douche. After that breakup I decided, maybe it was time to focus on myself, and just sort of gave up on the whole "dating in school" thing. Senior year when we had classes together, he would always choose me as his partner, and I figured it was neat since then we didn't have to call or anything since we lived around the corner from each other, and could just talk face to face. One day he randomly decided to invite me over to hang out with him and his friend, and they ended up playing Mirror's Edge and I watched them frustratedly try to finish the game. He got up to go to the bathroom, and his friend immediately afterwards hopped up and said his dad had texted him to come home for dinner. I smiled and waved him off, waiting for my crush to return. He asked where his buddy had gone, and I explained it. He nodded and said, "well wanna take a walk?" "Sure! I haven't been outside since my bike is all busted" as we were walking he was talking about all the times I had made advances on him, and told me he actually wanted to date me now. It didn't fully dawn on me though until I was sitting in the gravel at a park and he leaned over to kiss me.

I loved one guy forever, and when he had finally decided to ask me out, I was dumb to the point of oblivious-ness (we've been together 4 years now.)

I'll try to make this as short as possible. I know reading a big text wall can be a pain. And I thank you sincerely for taking the time to read this. Six months ago I met a guy at my new work place. Let's call him Dave. We immediately clicked and became best friends. He was in a long-distance relationship at that time. We were attracted to each other but we never talked about it and we hung out as just friends. Three months later, Dave went on New Year's vacation to Paris with his girlfriend. A couple of weeks after he got back, we once were talking and he started asking about my previous relationships and even detailed questions about my last one, and my views on love and relationships. While we were discussing, he said he's been in love only once in his life despite having had many relationships afterwards, he never felt the same. I asked him "aren't you in love with your current girlfriend?", he answered that they broke up while in Paris. I was surprised with his answer, I asked about the reason, he didn't give a detailed one, he was general and said "I just don't feel the same ease as I did in my previous relationships. We're going to try friendship for a while." Fast forward, we were at a convention in another state and his ex was supposedly there. But he never introduced her. However, he introduced me to one of his female friends. I could see they were close and I asked him if she's the ex, but he said she just a close friend. A few weeks later, it was his birthday and guess what, he went another city to celebrate it with his ex girlfriend. He justified that by saying that except from me he has no friends yet in this town and he wanted to celebrate it with his circle of friends that includes his ex. He end up spending the weekend with his ex only. I didn't give it much thought then because 1. I had no right to get jealous or whatever. 2. He made it clear they're still friends, so that's only normal. Anyhow, we kept closer and closer, the chemistry was just undeniable. We talked about it once and decided to start dating and see how it goes. Now, I don't mind that they're close friends now. It's healthy to have a good relationship with your ex. However, a number of things confuse me: Why wouldn't he tell me the real reason they broke up? (I asked him just a while ago and he avoided answering) Why did he hide from me who the girlfriend was? (Although I asked him a direct question if she's the ex and he said she's a close friend. I later on found out from someone else that she's the one he was in a relationship with for over two years.)

My current flame hid from me his ex girlfriend although their relationship ended on good terms and they're close friends now. He also never revealed why they broke up.

Ill start off by saying that I'm not very good with women. It's very hard to for me to talk to girls let alone tell them how i feel because of this i have only had a few relationships in my 22 years on this planet. Now time for a little background. I'll start by saying she lives quite far away from me, if i were to hop on a bus to go see her it would probably take me around 6 hours to get there. I've also never actually met her in person I've only talked to her online. Now this isn't someone i just met, I have known her for several years. As of late our relationship has really progressed to have a more intimate feel to it. We tell each other everything. All the little and big things that either bother us or make us really happy in life. She is just like me a really shy person never even been in a relationship that i know of. I really want to tell her how i feel because its been eating me up lately, but I'm afraid that ill scare her and ruin one of the most meaningful relationships I have in my life right now. I really feel like i already know that I'm going to have to put myself out there and see what happens It's just so hard to actually take the final plunge because if she says she doesn't feel that way It'll never be the same....

Have very strong feelings for a girl I've known for very long, she lives pretty far away and I'm worried that ill ruin the best relationship i have in my life right now.

Ok, this is not simple. Me = 21 year old male, Gf = 21 year old female, Awesome girl = 21 year old female. Recently, me and my gf have been having a few issues, mostly stemming from me just kinda falling out of love. It sucks, but it happens. Now, I recently met and started talking to this other girl. At first it was innocent but we got some crazy conversations going. Then her bf broke up with her after a long break. She lost faith in relationships and just wants to sleep around. I am breaking away from my gf, and I want this girl like no one's business. We've already had some relations, but I want her for my own. Issue is, she doesn't want a relationship and she is kinda sleeping with another guy. Kinda because tonight may be the first time since we really hit it off. She seems to like me a lot, and not just for the sex. Reddit, I want this girl.

How do I claim a girl for myself when the universe is against me? EDIT: Forgot to say that I've already told her how I feel, she's just kinda iffy at this point because of her disillusionment of relationships.

I met my girlfriend 2 months ago and everything has been going really really well. We hang out at least 3 days a week and skype a lot and we enjoy each others company. This is definitely one of my more "serious" relationships and I like this girl a lot. In the Fall semester she is transferring to a college that is 2 and a half hours away and she is trying to convince me to come with her. I told her that probably wouldn't happen and she broke down and cried. Now we agreed that we would try the long distance thing and would see each other as much as possible. I really like her and want to try it; but I know this will be hard. Should I attempt the long distance thing? I could transfer to her college but I am aware of the bad stories of going to school with a girlfriend and the problems that can ensue with a break up. Help.

Met amazing girl 2 months ago, shes transferring colleges and wants me to come with her. Should I transfer with her or try a LDR?

We've been dating for almost a year and since then I've formed my very first band. I've always been self conscious and scared to sing in public so now I've just thrown myself into it. Which is great. I've been using songs that I think are strong and one of those happens to be a song about an ex. It's not a love song as such, it's actually about being broken up, not wanting to see her (not in a spiteful way) and instead being happy to move on with my life. The starting point and about half of the lyrics are talking directly to my ex. I can see where I went wrong to start with. I sang that song in front of my girlfriend quite a bit when we started dating as I'm proud of it. I'm not the best song writer in the world but it's one of my best songs and I think the most honest. I then found out my girlfriend gets really upset hearing that song so I stopped playing it around her. I misunderstood the situation as she actually doesn't want anyone else to ever hear that song either. She gets really upset knowing I'm singing about someone else and she says she'd also be really embarrassed by it as well if other people heard it when she was there. I don't want to give up that song. It's apart of my experiences, and I don't have an emotional attachment to it anymore. I've tried to explain the lack of emotional importance of the song to her and that I value the product I've made but this issue is causing a major rift. It's essentially the only thing that will break us up if I don't. But it's a tough one. I can see her side too and I don't want to lose her. I just need help. Any suggestions? Happy to give more info and many thanks in advance

I have a song I sing about an ex but my gf gets really upset about it. What should I do in this instance? I don't want to lose her but I also want to be me, and be able to express myself properly without feeling censored.

Because people have egos. An ego identifies oneself with certain beliefs, ideals and things outside of itself (like a house, car, favorite team, physicality). Attached to these identifications, whenever anyone/anything counters your ego's identifications (your team lost, youtube commenter said atheism is for retards, someone said your ugly when everyone's has always called you pretty which you identify yourself as), it in turn makes you physically uncomfortable because your neurology assumes that your identity is being attacked. The main problem that we human's have with egos is that we get so caught up in our thoughts and beliefs that we live in past/future projections of ourself. For example, a guy has approach anxiety because he was rejected by a few women in the past. Now, whenever he wants to approach a woman, he starts thinking about it through the projection of his past failures and future possibility of him failing again, and in turn getting nervous and not doing anything at all. This becomes a pattern and thus the subconscious mind wires him to become nervous around unknown women. I hope you can see how this applies to everything in life and why you think/act the way you do now. The only solution is to become present in the moment and stop thinking so much in past/future trains of thought. When your caught up in your thoughts, you are operating through your ego assumptions of who you are. You block the opportunity to see/learn/be/experience more, be free of judgement and inhibitions and not get emotionally affected by any of these trivial things you speak of. Hint: Observe your thoughts and soon enough, you'll realize its not you creating those thoughts. The more you observe, the more you see through and therefore dissipate your ego's attachments. In doing this, you ressurect the free will you had as a child where there was nothing to worry about and through imagination alone, you could be anything you wanted to be :)

People have egos which identify your self with anything you've attached any importance to and thus becoming what you identify yourself with. And whenever anything counters your attachments, your "identity" feels it is being attacked.

Hi! A bit of a background: I'm dating this gorgeous, beautiful, smart, creative, positively crazy and overall awesome woman. We are together for about 10 months and things getting a little bit tougher. I started to work something about 5 months ago(I had to due to financial problems my family has), after end of summer I had to go back to college and since that I have less time. I'm sleep deprived, always tired, a bit stressed trying to manage work with my studies and family. I have no time for hobbies (in fact I have no hobbies left), I'm hardly meet any friends. I try to spend all my time that I have left, with my girlfriend, but it is not as good as it used to be. She smiles less, we do not talk as much as we used to. When we are together, moments of silence are getting longer. Sometimes I don't know what to say. During the workdays I just go to her place after work, we spend sometime together (usually learning), during weekends we usually go somewhere out of town, or just sit at her or mine place, studying. Few times I fell asleep when I was with her (not very entertaining, right?). She currently have some health issues, she has some headaches and she's also tired recently, so we do not go to parties a lot. I start to have some insecurity issues. She always had a lot of male friends, she has much more time than I have, and I'm afraid that she might find someone with more time, with less (financial) issues. I talked about it all with her recently. She said she's ok with tired me, she thought that it is her fault, or that I'm bored with her (I'm not!). She gave me a lot of support and stuff, and I love her. But I'm still afraid that I'm just boring (at least I'm boring since I started to work). So my true question is: how to prevent boredom? How do you prevent routine in everyday life with your SO? What should I do to entertain her, to put a big smile on her face again?

not a lot of time to spend, because of work and studies constantly tired, do not want to be boring, do want to prevent routine in a relationship.

My life since early adolescence has been a struggle. My home life as a kid was awful, including so much verbal & emotional abuse at the hands of my batshit mom & alcoholic stepdad as well as sexual abuse from another kid at one point. I spent years self harming, binge drinking and eating, and attempting suicide. I met a boy and now I'm a bit happier. Happy enough to try and get help. My GP gave me an SSRI and told me to book a therapist so I can stop the meds soon. My therapist told me to try breathing exercises. My initial reaction to my therapist is anger. I don't think my problems are as simple as breathing, mindfulness. I've tried those methods independently and while they can help, they are not a cure. This SSRI is helping for now, but I don't want to go back to the life I was leading before. Even with my SO, even with the antidepressant, life is a struggle for me. I'm tired of struggling. What do I do? I feel like I want an actual diagnosis or a root cause, but my therapist is saying she sees no personality or mood disorder. Here are some of my symptoms for reference: dissociation/depersonalization/derealization panic attacks constant anxiety over 1 billion little things low self esteem self hatred suicidal thoughts racing thoughts insomnia at times, sleeping too much at others inability to keep to a schedule brain fog cant enjoy anything short attention span and memory constantly tired paranoia super impulsive at times self destructive urges hypersensitivity extremely insecure Help.

my GP gave me an SSRI on the condition I go to therapy, my therapist thinks all I need is the power of positive thinking and mindfulness coping skills. I don't agree and feel there's something deeper.

If they left if for a lonnggg time they would start charging based on the care they have to give it. Some shelters operate similarly, the "new adoptions" will be slightly cheaper due to only getting shots. Anyone outside of that category is a higher fee since they have had to give second round of meds, or additional care.

Ghetto-ass people left their dog at the pound for too long, or had to pay fines for specific offences (like it was the 3rd time the dog was picked up.)

I got a degree in both electrical engineering and computer science. I had no clue what I wanted to do and went into university wanting to enter medicine, education, or architecture. Taking a general first year helped me think I wanted chemical engineering; then I started engineering's general first year which got me to where I am now. What helped me was planning for a few options and talking to academic advisors will help you with this. Now onto the two ideas you are thinking of. From my understanding, and this is just anecdotal from friends, game programming is tough to get into. If you go into programming it is most likely business apps, web design, database setup, etc. Also have tou done any programming? Enjoying games or using a computer is not necessarily going to make you love programming. Talk to engineering schools about space work. A degree like mech or elec is likely smarter than something like engineering physics as if you can't get into the space industry right away there are other options. The schools will highlight potential career paths but talk to people in the industry to find out how they got there. There will always be electrical/mechanical things on spacecraft. Adding in programming or controls experience may help too. I love the options I have availiable to me with my education. I recently started my own company and am doing engineering and programming work to keep some variety and it has been fantastic so far.

Keep an open mind - you may change you mind, ask questions to universities/professionals, programming is very different from gaming, space design is a broad field - get extra education and broaden skill set.

I'm Homer, my wife is Madge. Our son Bart (22M), and his GF (22F) Tiffany have been together about 2 years. So, somehow Madge knows about Tiffany being in uncomfortable communication / situations with other guys. Bart said that Tiffany had to make a choice, whether they were together/monogamous or not. I assume that Bart told Madge. Don't know. Anyway, Tiffany picked Bart and cut off the other stuff a year ago. This was a year ago. Now Madge holds this against Tiffany. I think that Madge only says this crap to me. I hope so. But she's all about "Tiffany can't be trusted because of (crapbefore) and I'm worried about Bart." Then I say something about how young they were/are. Then it repeats later in time. I'm afraid that Madge will speak out to someone else. Or maybe already has. The thing is, that this is not nearly as bad as the crap that Madge put me through years ago. Madge had this exBF named Mo, and she kept having this effed up relationship with him, essentially going on dates, and always saying, "that's over, and we're just friends." I was an inch away from dumping Madge over her relationship with Mo many times. But, as you have guessed, Madge was super hot, and I let it go for a long time. Question: should I tell Madge to drop the bashing of Tiffany because Madge(25 years ago) was worse than Tiffany(1 year ago), and we should give Tiffany the same slack that Madge received years ago. I really feel like unloading on this, which is why I just shut up.

My wife is bashing son's GF for the same things that she (my wife) did 25 years ago. Should I point out the hypocrisy to make it stop?

I created an account just for this issue because the situation has gotten so stressful. I supported my wife quitting her job to pursue her passion. She went into it with tons of confidence, but has lost money for two years straight. Every other month she comes up with a new great idea to make it happen but she doesn’t even have a functioning website, accounting software, etc. She wastes time and money on things like incorporating “multi-level-marketing” into her business, a social media consultant, renting a shared space, and on and on. I’ve tried to tell her to keep it simple and focus on low hanging fruit and things with the highest potential for ROI and she just gets mad. It’s at the point where we don’t really talk much about it because she can’t hear anything “negative.” My gut is telling me she just doesn’t have the right combination of skills to put everything together to be successful. When we got married I didn’t expect to have to pay for everything plus her business expenses. Jointly we’re losing money each month. I’d love to go on a vacation, but can’t justify going into (more) debt for it. How can I get her to quit her dream that she’s invested so much time in effort into to pursue a job without getting into a huge fight and crushing her spirits?

Supported wife quitting job to be an Entrepreneur. She doesn't have the right stuff (IMO). How to talk to her about quitting her dream and getting a normal job.

First off, sorry if this has been answered before. Most of the cat butt dragging I have read on this sub had slightly different properties. Background: Our cat, Humphrey, was(is) a feral cat. He was a kitten that was found at my girlfriends doorstep at around 3 weeks old. My girlfriend took the cat in, bottle-fed him, and raised him from the ground up(for the lack of a better word). She had him neutered as well. Well fast forward 3 years; she moved across country back home and we met each other and started dating. We then moved in together and Humphrey was timid at first, but totally opened up to me and my daughter. All is fine as far as him being social. He is for the most part independent but in no way aggressive and pretty much a loving cat. He's not a lap cat but he does have his quirks. A couple of months ago, as he walked in front of us in our living room, he dragged his bottom across the carpet. My girlfriend immediately grabbed him to inspect what was wrong and sure enough, he had a little poop stuck in his anus to which my girlfriend help dislodge. All was fine. After this, we noticed he developed some fleas(not sure if it's related but I want to include this anyway), which we immediately treated. Again, all is good and we are back to having a clean kitty. Well, about 3 weeks ago, we noticed that he is starting to drag his bottom randomly throughout the day. When we notice him doing this, our immediate response is to grab him and inspect his anus. There are no signs(from what we can tell) that he has worms. His anus does not seem red either. His litterbox shows no signs of worms. Again, he carries on like the same old laid back kitty cat as the day I met him.

Cat started dragging his butt yet there are no signs of worms or sickness as far as we can tell. Edit: For clarification, I am wondering if this a behavioral problem or a heath problem. Thanks in advance!

Hey guys, long story short I was out with my girlfriend and friends last weekend one of the guys who ended up joining us basically had been trying to hit on my girlfriend and she was basically oblivious and just thought he was being friendly, it really bothered me but I just ignored it. A week later the guy says he wants to actively pursue her even though he knows we've been together for 1.5 years. I am now furious and can't get it off of my mind, I trust her but and having trouble letting go of these negative thoughts, please help me find inner peace / :

What would you recommend I do (1) to help myself get this out of my mind & (2) If I we're to unfortunately run into this person again?

My friends and I used to do some dumb shit when we were younger (13 or 14). Well, one day while chillin' outside the school after hours we decided to test all the school doors to see if we could open one. Turns out there was a back door that was broken and if you pulled hard it would open. We break in, eat pizza from the staff room, drink pop & chocolate milk, and then leave. That night we sleep over at my place and play video games all night. I wake up at 7:30 in the morning to my friends asking if I want to go break into the school with them. I said "Guys.. it's 7:30AM I want to sleep!". They decided to proceed without me. I wake up at around noon after a nice nap and decide to call my friends house to see if he wants to hang out. His mom answers the phone and tells me that they're in jail. When they went in this time they had triggered a motion detector and the police came and arrested them. They were charged with B&E, destruction of public & private property, and trespassing. I would have been bent over and screwed if it weren't for my lazy ass wanting to sleep in.

Broke into a school with friends when I was young. Next day friends ask if I want to go back, I say no because I'm sleepy and tired. Friends go anyway and get charged with B&E, destruction of property, and trespassing.

It exactly fits the topic of this thread. Here it is again, since you appear to have missed what it says: >What is one fact that, despite being 100% true, is still greatly debated? From the first amendment in the United States Constitution: >Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances Therefore, any church holds the right to say "No fags!" Further, Congress has no right to say "Hey! That's not fair!" [However (See Article 23):]( ([Or this list of things that have been congressionally decided upon being inclusive in the term "inalienable rights," among which listed includes "marriage." >The right of men and women of marriageable age to marry and to found a family shall be recognized. This is not to be interpreted as a man to marry a woman or vice versa. This is the right of (all) men (plural) and (all) women (plural) of marriageable age (18 in any state, some younger with prenup) to found a family

American Humans are not to be denied the right to marry by America. However, private organizations may deny whomever they want to do whatever it is they do.

Nope, I really don't. Maybe I'm the exception. Yeah, you really really are. Not that there's anything particularly wrong with that, but most people I know would put Tom Hanks on the list of "greatest actors of all time." >He usually plays the everyman, so even Hollywood admits he doesn't ooze personality. He's no Robin Williams or Johnny Depp, where you can throw him into a role and see what he does. He's made a living out of being emotionally neutral, which is fine. Hmm. I'm sort of sensing a pattern here. I could be absolutely wrong, so feel free to correct me, but you seem young. Have you seen Tom Hanks earlier stuff? Especially Forrest Gump. If you haven't seen Forrest Gump you should watch it immediately. Seriously. One of the best movies ever. Anyway, I agree with the everyman thing for his recent stuff, but that's the writing/script, not the actors. Robin Williams and Johnny Depp are character actors, which is a totally different talent/focus. If that's what you prefer, that's super, go for those movies. I love most types of movies and would never tell someone they're wrong for their opinion on them. However, to me comparing Tom Hanks to them is like saying your comb is a crappy toothbrush. The biggest difference here that you may not be understanding is Johnny Depp and Robin Williams were/are almost never "thrown into a role" like you say (this point goes way more for Depp than Williams). They have entire movies written with them in mind. If you specifically take Depp as an example, pretty much every time he strays from Burton's "my wife + johnny Depp = money" writing its a massive box office flop. >But even for an everyman, I find Hugh Grant or Nick Cage or... I'm sorry I laughed so hard at Nic Cage as an everyman. This is another reason I think you're young (and again, please don't take offense if I'm wrong, just my analysis). Watch The Wicker Man. You'll never be able to watch Nic Cage again.

If you haven't seen Forrest Gump, watch it immediately. Don't even eat. Just watch it. Also you may just like character actors (like Johnny Depp/Robin Williams), because they get movies written with them in mind.

The fact that his parents are in on the situation is awesome in itself. The fear you have is that he will be disappointed when he finds out what the trip is about. You need to think about what he truly likes vs. what he dislikes. Obviously, if he dislikes surfing or is very anti-activity, you need to sell the trip for him. Come up with some awesome clues to the destination, up-sell the trip, and ultimately, sacrifice some of the surfing activity for some other fun stuff that he would like (aka live shows, other tourist attractions for the area, etc.). However, if the trip is totally up his alley, if he is a surfing guru and loves it, no need to sell anything, and keep it a secret by exposing as few clues as possible and surprising him as best as you can. It's really up to you and what he likes, though. If his parents AND you think he will like it, you really don't need to sell it at all. You could tell him everything about the trip, or nothing about the trip and he would love it just the same as long as the experience with you was all that he expected of it.

Take into account his interests, but if his family AND you are in on it, most likely, he will love it either way. Stop thinking about selling the idea so much, and focus on having a good time with him once you get there.