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So I'm about to marry this woman. Excellent girl. We have our differences here and there. But I know I want to be with her for the rest of my life. The only problem is that she still has her ex husbands tattoo on the back of her neck. She got married before when she was young and she tells me she regrets it every moment. For the most part I just shove it in the back of my head. (I understand its not healthy) But it bothers me still because I'm about to get married to her and I'm going to have that to constantly remind me that she has been married before. I've never been married. Every time it gets brought up though she gets depressed. And tells me it was a mistake. She told me before when we first started dating that she didn't want to get it removed because its part of her past. She's considered it before though. But I feel bad of I told her or asked her to get it covered up/removed because it is a part of her past.

My SO has a tattoo of her ex husband on her neck. It bothers me. I would feel bad if I asked her to remove it. I need advice. Please help and thank you for reading.

My girlfriend is worried about the way I act and is considering breaking up over it; Some background: I was not part of any defined clique in high school, never popular, but never aggressively bullied. I moved 8 hours away to University and realized that using my skills in communication and essentially 'bs-ing' I was able to become one of the 'big men on campus'. I was elected VP Social of my faculty and made tons of friends but nobody that I can really rely on. I'm now dating someone that I really care about, but she says that I act differently when I'm around her and people I actually care about in comparison to when I'm around acquaintances and people around campus. She says for her to consider staying with me she needs to see a change in that I act like real me and not "campus me" as she calls it. I'm wondering how I can best manage my skills of talking to people, making friends, and being very interpersonal, but eliminating the negative aspects that come as a huge consequence. I often find myself forgoing empathy for my own gains, trying to see if I can pick girls up but never actually cheating, acting super outgoing even when something is wrong in my life. As a side note, I'm also diagnosed, and previously medicated for ADD, but had to stop due to restrictions of my aviation medical. This is only important as one of the biggest challenges I face with it is sometimes having a hard time putting myself in someone else's shoes.

I'm a popular guy on campus, but only because I'm good at bullshitting. Girlfriend wants me to act like me all the time because it's ruining the relationship. How do I manage my skills with what she needs?

Background Information: Boyfriend got a 10 week old, female, pom puppy: Kandy Bites but not enough to cause much discomfort Very active, enjoys running around and jumping on boxes Very interested in other dogs Boyfriend also has a 3 y/o, male, dachshund: Cookie Very passive When bringing Kandy home, Cookie immediately left the room without any curiosity or interaction Now comfortable in the same place as Kandy as long as not directly interacting Sticking to high grounds to avoid direct encounter with Kandy Yesterday, Kandy and Cookie has a small interaction (Kandy had Cookie backed up against a corner and Kandy was biting through Cookie's fur; wasn't biting into the skin/body) I have a 7 y/o, female pom: Kiwi History of discomfort with other dogs Growls and snaps at neighbor dogs when they approach her (has been better now) However, no history of direct biting Well behaving at home, nothing special to note of Kiwi especially loves my dad Introducing the Two Poms My attempt last week: Kandy was in my room with a gate at my door Kiwi would continuously walk up to the gate to see what was going on I would take turns sitting in my room with Kandy and outside my room with Kiwi After awhile, I held Kandy and walked over to Kiwi; as I was starting to sit down, Kiwi growled. I immediately took Kandy and placed her back into my room. I tried to give Kiwi a little more attention but after that growl, I did not place the to together anymore. My parents attempt last week (while I was gone): My mom said she held Kandy and my dad held Kiwi; they said once held the two closer, Kiwi started growling On a separate occasion, Kandy was on the living room floors while Kiwi was on the couch; Kiwi decided to jump on the floor but Kandy started chasing Kiwi. According to my mom, it happened for a little bit; afterwards, Kiwi turned around and growled at Kandy. My parents immediately separated the two. Questions: Should I try to first help Kiwi adapt to other, older dogs first before expecting her to accept Kandy? Perhaps dog daycare? Since Kandy is not necessarily going to be at my house the majority of the time, should I bother trying to make the two get along? From your experiences, do you think Kiwi would bite Kandy or simply give warning cues like growls and "air snaps?" Otherwise, please give me any advice! I love all three dogs but I especially want Kandy and Kiwi to get along. I feel like Cookie and Kandy will be fine as long as Kandy gets tired out as she gets older. Kiwi, on the other hand, has always been uncomfortable around other dogs so I'm worried things might not be looking too optimal. Thank you guys, I apologize for the lengthy post

My 7y/o Pomeranian is growling and air snapping at the pomeranian puppy. Am I being too sensitive? I'm afraid of the puppy getting hurt, especially since I do not fully own the puppy. Advice, please :( edit: formatting

Hello. Me [M26] and Ex [f26] broke up 11 months ago after 1.5 yr relationship. I had been in a lot of relationships before but this I can say was my first true love and I was devastated. The reasons for breakup were that she "did not love me" and the usual jazz. I was absolutely demolished by this situation and was very pathetic, tried to get her back, etc. We got together one last time 6 months ago and we almost started going out again, but we quickly realized it was a sham. After that we exchanged emails and I pretty much told her that I had loved her infinitely but that my energy was spent, that I was done and that I would not be contacting her ever again. She reciprocated, and I promptly blocked FB, deleted everything, trashed everything etc. 6 months from that I am now in another relationship with a cool girl [F23] who is very hot, very dedicated and loving but has a bunch of anxiety issues which make me feel like im always walking on thin ice and everything could cave in any second. We also have some other issues which are not relevant for this situation. Long story short, I feel like my love for [F23] is less intense than what it was for my Ex. This weekend I went to climb a volcano and naturally there was no reception. It was also my birthday. When I got back to civilization, I found she had left me a voicemail saying:"happy birthday.. I wanted to talk to you, see how you are doing, if you are ok. We will talk down the road. Kisses, Ex" I did not contact her at all for her birthday. It has been a long time of NC but now this has stirred shit up again, and as a "bonus" has also started making me wary of my new relationship as I subconsciously compare it to the former and this is negative for both me personally and my new relationship. What are you thoughts on this? What are ex´s intentions? how should I proceed? Thanks in advance for your help.

Was climbing volcano during birthday and was incomunicado. EX left voicemail for birthday and catching up. Unsure about EX´s motivations and my perpections on current relationship vs relationship with ex. Seeking experiences/advice on the situation.

I work in a very competitive field. I understand it (sort of), but I also feel like people on or near my level are constantly trying to avoid working as a team because they want to be more successful than each other. I have never been this was, so it's a little frustrating. (Maybe I'm in the wrong field?) And as I am struggling here trying to complete something for work New Years Eve... I'm fuming that my co-worker is ignoring me. My boss keeps telling me to go to a co-worker for help. The co-worker keeps avoiding me or giving me the run around, even though there is no competition between us because she is waves ahead of me in every way. UGH. I don't even know why it's bothering me so much? Why does this little simple thing make me so mad?!

Boss wants me to go to a co-worker for help on something. She is ignoring me. I think because she hates helping people. Wants to stay the most successful person on our "team." More bothered than I should be.

My husband has severe allergies and asthma; he had to have allergy shots when he was a kid. My mom smokes in her house. Last Christmas she was dog sitting and during the course of an afternoon had an asthma attack. I'm talking wheezing, lips turning blue, fingertips went numb. My mom didn't even smoke in the house while we were there. So we obviously can't go there again. My dad has a dog and a wood burning fireplace, both of which my husband was allergic to. What do we say to them when they ask us to visit? I know they will ask because my parents think they should never have to come visit their kids, the kids have to visit the parents. I don't want them to be embarrassed or ashamed about their houses.

husband is allergic to his mil and fil's homes. How do I break the news to them? Edit: I don't need alternatives, I need help with what to say so I don't offend my parents.

My girlfriend and I were watching a movie at my house, but the movie was pretty boring so she was going through her notepad to delete old notes. One of them was her ex-boyfriend's text messages that he sent her after she broke up with him. She broke up with him because he was probably cheating on her. She read through it again, and then I told her to do whatever she wanted with it so that I could see what she would do. She decided not to delete that note. We've only been dating for about 2 months now. She broke up with her ex in November or something. Should I be worried? If not, does her keeping the note mean anything? I'm just worried she still has feelings for him but I don't know, I'm pretty shit at reading girls..

Girlfriend kept the texts her ex-boyfriend sent her after they broke up. Might that mean she still wants to be with him and I'm just a rebound?

Reddit, my issue is this: throughout my school life I have always had poor results on examinations of any kind. High school brought great marks in labs, assignments, and essays, but terrible results on examinations, tests, and quizzes. I had sincerely hoped that University would be different, and absolved myself to study my ass off for everything. That I did, and managed to achieve 100% on every assignment before the midterm. Knowing my history with examinations, I sat down over a week and a half in advance, and reviewed every single part of the course thus far. I was getting 90% on practice midterms and practice tests, and feeling great about how I did...until this morning, when I found I received 52/80 on the multiple choice section of the exam. Reddit, I feel like complete crap right now, and have no idea what I'm doing wrong, here. I'm starting to think that this must be something deeper than simply "not studying hard enough" as it has plagued me through every sort of examinations, and I'm now terrified to receive my other midterm marks. Have any of you experienced this problem before, and what can I do to better prepare myself for examinations and midterms, besides re-reading the course content and doing practice midterms and exams? Thanks, Reddit!

Despite studying my ass off, I consistently get near-failing marks on exams, tests, and quizzes, and great marks in every other part of the course. I feel like crap, and whine about it in the few paragraphs above before asking what the hell I'm doing wrong.

So I've been dating this girl for about 11 months and things are going really well. I enjoy her company and really love her and I know she feels the same way. She's been on vacation for the past week and just came back late last night. While she was on vacation, her sister has been very bothersome to her. My girlfriend has REALLY Missed me over the course of the week. I have missed her too, but I haven't missed her the way she's missed me. So this week I've been occupying myself with video games and friends. It's been fun but I was ready for her to be home. I was excited because since I was mowing my girlfriend's family's lawn while they were gone I was able to get inside and put her a welcome home present on her bed. It just consisted of some popcorn she really likes and chocolate. So my girlfriend came home last night. My friend also asked to spend the night. Backstory on this friend: he is an ex-cutter going through a kind of complicated breakup trying to find some new friends. So he asked to spend the night and i said yes. I texted my girlfriend when she was on the plane telling her what was going down. I told her we would still be able to Skype tonight because this friend if mind is cool with me talking to her fir a while. My girlfriend got back and was upset. I attribute this to pms. I was able to calm her down and cheer her up, especially when she came home to her gift. So everything was going well until we got on Skype. We got on and she was acting quite weird. We talked for a little then she brought up my friend. I said it was fund, he was downstairs playing Minecraft which he loved doing. She started saying how she was super upset and didn't want to feel pressured to get off of Skype. I didn't want to argue but I also didn't want to have us just go to bed feeling bad. I eventually expressed that she was making me feel really bad about myself. I have always felt insecure to have a sleepover with my friends because I don't want her to get upset we aren't able to Skype, which I will say is kind of stupid. We ended up getting off the phone and haven't really resolved anything yet. We are seeing each other in a few hours and are going to discuss this but I really don't know how to feel about this. Was I wrong in doing this the night she came home? Any advice on how to handle this or talk about it with her would really help.

girlfriend came back from vacation late last night. My friend with some life problems asked to spend the night. Girlfriend got mad because we had to Skype with her feeling pressure to get off evening though it was cool with my friend. How should I handle this?

On the Thursday of Thanksgiving before going Black Friday shopping, we have a scavenger hunt. We had to steal street signs, road signs, out of state license plates, pictures with strangers doing the shocker, roadkill, lawn ornaments etc....the last time we did it, one of the items was one of those big inflatable Santa Clauses that has a generator keeping it inflated. We found one and loaded it into the car, the owner saw us came out and shot at us. The next morning I get a call from my Dad who is a car salesman. He knew about our yearly shenanigans, and asked if we stole a huge Santa Clause. I of course told him no. It turns out it was his manager's house that we hit. He got laid off a few months later, and at that point I admitted to him that it was us. I think he loved me a little bit more.

Stole my dad's managers lawn ornaments during a scavenger hunt. Manager laid my dad off a few months later. I told dad, dad loves son more.

I go through this every day. I think at this point my boyfriend thinks I'm fishing for compliments when I tell him I don't feel attractive on any given day. He tells me all the time that I'm beautiful and when I feel good I thank him and when I don't I tell him he doesn't have to lie to me. It's hard believing a guy who tells me I'm more stunning than a runway model when I'm 5'8'' and 170 lbs. But here's what I've come to realize- he doesn't see me as just a body, he sees me as the whole package. Whenever he looks at me he's reminded of all the times I've supported him, made him laugh, impressed him with various talents, or basically just showed him what a good person I am. This sounds fruity and unrealistic but I believe it to be true- we are not our bodies. As you may have heard before, we are just souls dragging around meat. When your boyfriend sees a picture of you, he sees YOU. It helps me to remember that a lot of people aren't necessarily attracted to my appearance before they talk to me, then once they realize I'm cool, suddenly they LOVE my crooked smile and dark-circled eyes. Your boyfriend (I hope!!) loves YOU as a whole. PS.- As someone who yo-yos (visibly) around 10 lbs every two months, I'm comforted by the fact that my boyfriend knows I am CAPABLE of losing weight if I NEED to. He met me at my largest, fell in love with me when I was a lot thicker.

Your man sees you as the whole package, relates your appearance to your sparklin' personality. If he wants to see perfect glamour models he can look them up on the internet. HE WANTS YOU! XOXO!!!

When I was a young kid, 11-13 I believe, I was asleep one night at my old house when I awoke for no reason. I looked around to see what could have woken me up. I figured maybe a tree fell close or maybe my parents made noise. But I didn't hear any noises. I look to the right towards the window and there IT is. The creepiest most demonic thing I've ever personally seen. A ram's skull with curly fucking horns and an all black robe. It's staring at me with no skin muscles or anything all bone. Then suddenly without warning my window shatters. Here's the kicker. The window explodes from the inside out. That's right as if something from inside hit it. There was no glass inside no reason at all for it to break. The second it broke IT disappeared. I was paralyzed from fear because at the time I was a devout Catholic and had never even seen or heard of something like that. I screamed and told my parents they said I had a nightmare. But to this day nobody knows how the window shattered from the inside without getting glass in the house.

Sleeping one night when young, demon ram's skull with curly horns in window, window shatters from inside my house without glass getting in my room, still don't have any idea's why it broke or what I saw.

Hey all. Been together 7 months. Lately I've been managing to fuck up about once a week in some way that is hurting her, and I absolutely hate it. I just don't know how to stop bringing up things that bother me a bit. The problem is when I do I manage to completely fuck up what I'm saying and say things that make her feel unloved, unwanted, unappreciated... Basically everything horrible that I never want to make her feel. This relationship is the best thing that's ever happened to me and I feel like I'm completely ruining it. How do I express myself without making her feel these things?

I keep saying things that hurt her or make her feel horrible and it needs to stop. How do I express myself without making her feel these things?.

Its a common misconception that oil sands, offshore oil, and shale oil, were the product of technological advancements. All those technologies existed, but the resources weren't profitable... until oil went to $80 barrel. The world loses 4 million barrels per day of production every year due to depletion of aging wells. Thats EVERY SINGLE YEAR, and it increases by ~4% per year ad infinitum. The "new" resources are mostly making up for depletion elsewhere. In 2005 the world production 89 million barrels per day. 8 years later the world produces 92 million barrels per day.

Depletion of old wells drives prices higher until previously uneconomical resources become profitable. Once depletion outruns production from new projects prices will rise again, rinse, repeat, but with higher prices every time... In theory, alternatives eventually become a cheaper option, and we transition relatively smoothly... In theory.

Long time lurker, first time poster on a throwaway. I'm a 19M, Asian, above average looks, and slightly built, just to give a little background. I met a girl about a month ago through a group online for the same school we're going to be starting at this summer and we hit it off really well. She's 18F and a sweet Christian girl, the type you'd love to take home to meet your parents. The only issue is distance; she lives on the other side of the country (not a catfish). We Snapchat daily and have Skyped a few times and she's a really great girl. At first things were going really well and I could tell that she was into me but somewhere along the line that changed and I got friend zoned. The only thing it seems like I have in my favor is that we haven't actually met in person, but then again that could be positive or negative. I'm planning on making a trip out to her region (lots of huge tourist attractions) in a month or so to visit some close friends and I'm pretty sure she'd be down to hang out for a day. I'm not going on this cross-country trip just to chase a girl, it's just something I could pursue while out there. I'm pretty sure that I could get out of the friend zone if I meet her in person for a day. How should I go about my situation for the next month and how should I play things in general? If you need more information feel free to ask. I tried to remain kinda vague for anonymity sake. Thank you in advance!

Met an awesome girl who's going to be attending the same school as me. Got myself friend zoned and need some advice on how to go about things when I'm in her area for a trip.

Hello everyone ... let me give you a little background. About 2 months ago, my company moved my department, including my job, from New York to California. I reluctantly went with my job because I am young and felt that it would be good for my career. I don't know a single person here -- no family, friends, etc. -- and my job situation has gotten progressively more difficult every day. I really hate where I am living, and my job has gotten me so stressed out and depressed that I need to start taking anti-depressants again. I've even been having major panic attacks. The company was very shifty and unsupportive in the move, but has me locked into 2 years or else I have to pay back the moving expenses. I really wish I could transfer back home or quit, but I can't. What do I do?

I hate my job and want to quit, moved 2500 miles from home for it, know no one here, but I'm locked into 2 years. What can I do?

Look man, im sorry about your situation...It seems like your dad has some selfish tendencies. However, for your own sake, I would try to look into avenues that could help you escape. The economy does suck, but there are always opportunities...It just depends on how bad you want a chance to succeed. Have you thought about the Military? The Military could offer you a sweet career (especially considering you are close to graduation). Heck, you could join ROTC now, and they would pay for your masters. You could be 25, with a masters, making around 40k starting out, plus a free house and free healthcare. Two years after that, you're at 60k with the same benefits. Lets say you hate it and only do four years. Now your 28-29, and you've spent the last four years leading 30-50 Soldiers (depending on your job). Every company in the world would be on their knees begging to hire you. The average salary for Officers who get out after four years is 75k

Your situation sucks...fuck your dad. Now, it's time to take control of your own life. Look at the Military and other organizations that can help you escape

This is a throwaway account. I'm mostly posting this because I lack family/friends to talk to, and I'd like some guidance [mostly] and reassurance. I'm going to be brief, because the grieving process is preventing me from gaining any objective understanding at this time. I think any explanation would be a rationalization. My girlfriend broke up with me not five days ago. Ever since then I've felt this terrible emptiness within me. I've been attempting to keep myself occupied, whether via gaming, reddit, reading a book, or watching a movie. That being said, there are moments where thoughts rush in, which is quickly followed by an intense amount of pain. I could never imagine what it would be like to lose someone until now. Part of me says perhaps we'll try again in the future. Another part of me wonders why I should even want to. I've established no contact, but it gets more painful even thinking about no contact. I don't know where to go from this point. My sister has offered her support, but I've never been close with her. She also lives a few hours from here. My ex was the only person I've disclosed anything deeply personal about myself to.

I'm going through my first break up, which happens to be a long-lasting 2.5 year relationship. No friends and family, trying to learn where to go from here.

Let's just say that instead of importing slaves from Africa the European colonist who settled in modern day America used the indigenous tribes as slaves and were able to be just as successful in becoming this great country of opportunity that it is today. Would Africans who wanted a better life for their family make the CHOICE to migrate over here and be successful ? Yes they would just like they do now. The big difference is that the people of African descent living in this hypothetical America would come from families of people that would want to strive for a better life. Have you ever heard the argument of how some Irish/Chinese/Indian/Mexican person would wonder how blacks are in such bad conditions and bring up a story of how their Grandfather came over here with nothing but the clothes on his back and was able to be successful? It comes down to when Patel came from India he made a conscious decision and CHOSE to take action and get on a boat to come over here and work hard, meanwhile his lazy brother stayed in India and started a child sex ring. Or how about Jung Tao that CHOSE to come over here to start a cleaners while his cousin stayed behind in China strung out on opium. Excuse the ridiculous stereotypes but they highlight my points. The big difference here is choice, the black man in America is considered a minority, so while every other minority for the most part comes from a family that made the conscious choice to come over here and bring a tradition of wanting a better life. American Blacks come from a multitude of good family traditions and bad family traditions but we are all lumped together and viewed as one. If you are black and you have encountered people from African countries that are living in America you will know that they are for the most part taught to look down on the black American because they do not come from a tradition of people who want to strive for a better life. I've been to school here in the US with different Africans and they display the same stereotypical traits that Indians/Chinese follow with the study hard or die mentality that most American Blacks and Whites do not posses. The Africans that come over here still might know Africans back in Africa that are going crazy raping virgins and giving AK-47 to little kids, but those aren't the type that are looking to leave and make something of themselves. The issues that the black community faces is that we cannot easily escape our lackluster relatives that don't want a better life like the Chinese or African immigrant can. I mean you can look at some of Obamas cousins, uncles, brothers and other relatives and tell that his father stood out and wanted a better life for himself and future family so he moved to America.

The descendants whose ancestors were not sold into slavery who come from families with good traditions migrate to America and on average have better living conditions than the average black American.

In my early days of college, I didn't really apply myself to my schooling, and was and still am working full-time or just under full-time. Back then I was ok with a C as long as I passed the class. Fast forward to the present, my Senior year (Information Systems major), I've gotten myself back on track and made school my number 1 priority. Increasing grades and GPA over the past year, straight A's in all 4 classes last semester. Sitting at a 3.07 GPA, which 2 years ago me would have shrugged at, but now is unacceptable. I started last semester with 90+ on all my tests and was devastated when I received an 87 or something later on and broke the streak. Unfortunately due to my procrastination, laziness, and apathy towards school in the beginning, I didn't bother to apply for any internships, attempt to tutor, or join any relevant clubs. All I have to show on my résumé is my schooling, and 2 jobs (music store and liquor store). Looking at sample résumés, and those of friends (one of whom now works for NASA and was/is my main inspiration for getting my shit together), I've come to realize that I don't stand out against others who actually applied themselves. So here I am trying to apply for a summer internship with my barebones résumé. Is there anything I can include to beef it up? How carefully do employers consider your past/current work experience?

Didn't give a shit in my early college years. Got back on track, now in Senior year, looking to apply for summer internship. Résumé has absolutely no relevant experience/jobs/clubs.

Christ-on-a-cracker, I had a bad experience with this. Early on in our relationship my ex-wife confided in me that she had been raped. Being that my older sister had been raped when I was young, I was supportive and I told her that she could talk to me if she needed to. Things were great, for the most part. However, 6 months into it she started acting irrational, jealous and VERY emotional. When I'd reach my limit and say I'd had enough, she'd reply that it wasn't her fault because she was emotionally damaged because she was raped. I'd tell her to get help and she'd say that she will. This cycle repeated intermittently for about a year before she got help. To my dismay, the arguments we had stopped being justified by her being raped and were now justified by, "I told my psychiatrist about this and he said that he agrees with me about this". It was very frustrating to be teamed up on by an invisible third party and it led to our divorce. We had many good times in between the bad and all-in-all I'm glad I had the relationship because it helped me find my tolerance limit for emotional mind games and bullshit. I'm not saying that all raped girls are damaged beyond datable, but mine was. I don't know if I'll ever be able to wade through those waters again. And yes, that bothers me.

I had a bad experience with with a girl who was raped, I don't know if I will enter a relationship with another one. I kind of feel like it makes me a bad person.

I'll try to keep this short. A month ago my car needed inspected/fixed. There was nothing major wrong with it, just lots of small fixes. 2 New tires, new side mirror, etc. The 2 days they fixed it I was quoted $400-$450 max including labor and taxes. I showed up the next day and my bill was $1045! They said things about joints/ axles/ belts, the usual things the average driver know nothing about which obviously upset me as besides cosmetically this car drove and looked great. some back story: my credit score is total crap. I owe a few hundred dollars to several different places. I won't really get into the reasons why as they probably aren't good anyway, but my point is i'm not worried about my credit. Anyway, I ask if I can pay half now, half next week when I get paid. They said that was fine. well, 3 days later, IT BROKE DOWN . Its never done the things it started doing right after they looked at it. Weird noises/shaking/trouble starting. I take it back and ask them to check everything and they REFUSE to look at it until I pay the rest of the bill. I tell them they are scamming me as the total price was over double the quote and the car is in worse shape after they "fixed" it. 1 month later: I get a call from them (no contact since that day) i figure they are gonna ask nicely to pay the bill, try to work something out and what not. The guy claimed he talked to his lawyers and is hoping I pay the bill so he does not "have to take me to justice". I've had very late bills before (still do) and all I've got before were mean letters and damage to my credit score. So, the question i have is. What can he really do? besides harassing me, sending bills, etc. Can he really take me to court over $500? Especially when he didn't even do the job i'm paying for?

Got my car "fixed", came out in worse shape, refuse to pay other half of bill, being threatened to be "taken to justice". Whats the worst they can do?

I was always very introverted and shy, didn't make friends that easy and it's only been getting worse. I specially dread doing group projects because I don't have any friends/don't know anyone in my class and I always feel left out, can't find a group of my own, am the last one getting picked. I start having panic attacks every time a professor mentions them, sweating, feeling like I might throw up/pass out, it's awful. Now the case in question: there's this one class that has two major group projects. I was out of town while they divided all the groups and, since no one knows me, I'm not in any of them. This happened about a month ago. I only found that out after I came back, this week, while speaking to the professor before class was supposed to start, and he said we would wait until class started so he could talk to everyone/see if there was any group that would accept me. When he said that I immediately started having a panic attack, imagining him mentioning my issue in front of the whole class, and maybe not getting any response from other groups, just being met with awkward silence, so I excused myself and left. I couldn't stay there, I felt sick. So now here I am, still no group, thinking the professor probably sees me as a horrible student who would just skip class, but I don't know what to do. I need to pass this class. I'm debating explaining my issue to the professor but I don't know how understanding he will be. I need advice

Group projects cause me a lot of anxiety, since I don't know anyone/have no friends in college. Afraid I'll fail one of my classes because of it.

So every couple of summers my family and I would go on vacation with my Mom's family in Sunriver, Oregon (absolutely beautiful place). We would usually rent a condo for a week or so and spend our time doing different activities around the area. One popular activity was water rafting in the Deschutes River. We had done it before and this was I think our second visit to Sunriver and we wanted to do it again because it was fun. So we decided it would be cool to seperate the kids in one raft, and the parents in another. The rafting was going well and it was fun and here came the grand finale. It was about a 10 ft fall that was the main attraction of the tour. The kids went first and we successfully did it and now was the parents turn. At this point all the boats on the tour were parked on the side waiting for other boats to come down for safety reasons. Anyways, the parents boat was heading down, but then flipped over in the water. Everyone was thankfully ok, my mom got some cuts on her face, my uncle banged his back against a rock pretty bad, and my aunt got stuck on top of a rock in the river. After that whole scenario was over we just continued our vacation normally.

My family and my moms side of the family went white water rafting, the parents raft flipped over, some people were banged up but everyone was thankfully ok.

To me, dating is like searching for a job. In both situations you are throwing yourself out there (only men in the dating scenario cause lets be honest women don't approach men) Just trying to get your foot in the door. In job searching you either go to businesses and inquire within or go fill out an application online. Same goes with dating. You go out and try and introduce yourself or you go on the plethora of dating sites and send well thought out messages like "sup bitch; here to fuck" In both situations you get shot down a lot. With a job they either tell you to "apply online" or if you did it online they will most likely send you a rejection letter or not even acknowledge your existence. With dating you will either get shut down with the classic "I have a boyfriend" (not even 1 second into the interaction) or having your existence not acknowledged (the latter happens a lot online with the classic view/no reply) BUT On the off chance that in either situation they don't reject you then comes the easy part the initial dates and the interviews. I find both to be easy. I can light up an interview as well as show a person a good first date. Then comes the second date/second interview which is easy IMO as well, and the third date/final interview. After all this courting comes the wait and the moment of truth. Will the company offer me the job and will the girl want to sleep with me/date me.

Dating is like a job search. Hard to get your foot in the door but the next step is easy and the final step is the waiting game. Edit: Wow i wrote this whole essay only to realize i misread the subject...oh well

I became really good friends with this guy in college. We had the same class and we ended up in the same group for a project. As we're going along with the project, I find out he lives around where my grandmother (on my mom's side -- this will be important later on) used to live. It turns out that his grandmother and my grandmother were actually good friends along with my grandmother's neighbor. And him and I had actually met and played together a few times when we were younger. This is in one city. But then it gets weirder. My dad grew up in a completely different city than my mom (they met by chance at a party when he was in college). Anyways, I mention that my dad went to this one high school. He then says that his dad went there too, but I figured that they probably never knew each other since it was a fairly large high school and probably weren't even in the same graduating class. I go and look in my dad's yearbook and lo and behold his dad and my dad were actually pretty good friends in high school. Needless to say, I was extremely weirded out. We're still good friends, even though he's got a girlfriend who doesn't like me that much D:

Made friend in college, turns out his grandmother (on his mom's side) and my grandmother (on my mom's side) were friends growing up and my dad and his dad were high school buddies growing up.

I've known my friend for a few years now because we used to live next door to one another and so in the afternoons after work and on weekends we'd often chill out in the shed, we've built various things and worked together a few times.. all that good mate stuff. After I moved away, I didn't see him often for a few months but since I've been single and lonely I've been stopping past the shed on the way home very frequently, like most nights after work, and a lot of weekends. We still do all same stuff, just chill out and whatever. Now normally I get along cordially with his wife, she's kind of reclusive and hides out inside watching tv series and movies but over time she's gotten more comfortable with me and we have a bit of a chat here and there etc. Over the last few weeks though, I feel like something has changed, but not really, she's still nice to me mostly and we engage in the usual cordial conversations, talk about some of the tv shows and music now and again but, she's also taken to insulting my masculinity in particular. Over the last few weeks she's implied I'm gay in front of her side of their family at a birthday thing, implied I have a small dick the other day just randomly because we had one of those tiny mice on my laptop and she just came out, saw it, and said 'hes used to handling small things' rather randomly... then last night another friend commented that I have soft hands and I just said 'ahh yeah, computer hands (I'm a developer), but the ladies love it' and she straight away said 'well they must be lesbians' .. side topic: Now about that last one, I know many women do like rugged manly men, but you know, given I work on computers and have soft sensitive hands I'm pretty sure it is actually pleasant that I can easily feel clit and hood, finding the textured spot inside is no problem etc... women that let me pleasure them, do love it.. whether or not they would actually be attracted to the image of a rough man with calloused hands as well... but that's actually not really the topic, I am curious about ladies thoughts on it though... Anyway, so I'm wondering why she would've started doing this, she still outwardly acts as if she likes me as much as she ever did but these insults, all directly toward my masculinity... Is she jealous of the time her husband spends with me? Should I stop going there so much? Appreciate your thoughts, insight and anecdotes.

Do you think it means anything in particular, should I stop hanging out at my friends house so often? edit: Ahh I missed editing part of title... I'm male, friends wife is unsurprisingly female

F16) my boyfriend (M18) is going away to college in the fall, please read for story and I need advice. submitted 1 hour ago by Ave8 My boyfriend is going away to college in the upcoming fall. We have been dating for almost a year and a half. I love him and he loves me and we are both very happy. That being said, I know in the back of my mind that when he goes away, we will probably break up. I've been okay with that because I want him to be able to enjoy the college experience without anything holding him back. However, the closer it gets to him moving away, the more I question if I want us to stay together or not. Words cannot describe how happy I am with him and he tells me he feels the exact same way. I just don't know what to do. Also, I'm a little upset that I was there for him for his senior year but he won't be there for me for mine. How do I cope if we do end up breaking up?

my boyfriend is moving away to college in the fall and I'm still having second thoughts on if we should break up or stay together. I want the best for him, but I also want to be happy.

Let's call her Jane. We had been dating for just over a year, and things had been going pretty good. Sure, we had a couple of snags, but they seemed perfectly normal and we got past them. About a month ago, she said she wasn't sure if she still felt the same way for me anymore, so we sort of eased off a little bit on the relationship to get her head straight. Today, we talked, and she said she wants a break, and isn't sure if she wants us to try again. She still wants me to be her best friend (this isn't an awkward break up where we say we'll be friends and then don't), and the breakup wasn't really "hard" or anything. But I don't know if I should try again in a couple months, or just remain being close friends? Also, as a side note, I have no idea how to even find someone to date, let alone date them. I am rather inexperienced in the dating world. Jane and I started off as friends, and felt something more so started dating.

Jane said she doesn't really have romantic feelings for my anymore. She said she wants a break and doesn't know if she wants me to try win her back.

I'm turning 20 this december, but here's my advice to everyone who is worried about passing their classes: Don't worry so much. Teachers try harder to prep you for the test than they try to teach you, which is what they're supposed to do. The things you learn in school aren't going to help you in the real world anyway, unless you want to be a chemist or engineer, or the like. In the real world, people get jobs based on who they know, 9 times out of 10, rather than based on their knowledge and diplomas. It's sad, but it's reality. Instead of worrying about that next test, follow your heart and be who you really want to be. Open a coffee shop, travel, be an artist if you want to.

Once you let go of what society considers to be normal (get a job, get married, buy a house), you'll be surprised what kind of opportunities and excitement life opens up to you.

So, my eldest son has proposed an idea to the family for a "different kind of Christmas" this year. Instead of spending money on each other, we're planning on taking the cash-value of the gifts we would have given each other and pooling it to buy a set of hearing aids for a 20-something friend who can't afford them. She's from a family that has had more than their share of medical problems over the years -- her mom has a kidney disease that's resulted in her getting a transplant about 15 years ago along with the regular anti-rejection regimen and other issues along the way, her oldest brother got into drugs, and her next oldest brother has been diagnosed with the same kidney disease their mom has. She's got impaired hearing in both ears and the family can't afford to buy her hearing aids and is struggling to set aside enough money to help her with her college tuition. She's having a difficult time hearing the lectures well enough to do well in school. All in all, she's a sweet young woman who has a pretty big mountain ahead of her if she's going to do well in school and be able to hear what's going on around her. When she's not in school, she's working at a local state mental hospital to save up for tuition. I read Voltier Creative's article on [Reddit's Astonishing Altruism]( and was amazed at your generosity, especially reading the article about focks and her new hearing aids. It got me to thinking that you all might have some good ideas for raising funds for an endeavor like this. I don't want this post to come across as a solicitation for you to donate to my cause, but I'm very interested to find out if you have any suggestions on ways our family could pursue raising the $5-6K necessary to buy a set of hearing aids for her. It's quite a bit more than we can save up on our own.

Instead of giving gifts to each other, we want to give a set of hearing aids to a friend, but it's still more money than we can save ourselves. What else can we do to raise money?

So my girlfriend was at the "college art association conference" in LA, and her book bag was stolen. She intended to apply for a new social security card later in the day, so unfortunately just about every legal document she owned was there (green card, old ss card, check books, driver's license, etc.) as well as the usual wallet items like credit cards, parking validation ticket w/ car keys. Also lost was her 'fancy artist camera', Macbook Pro with Adobe everything (artists...), multiple terrabytes of external hdds (some with legal contracts for work), and obviously her browser caches passwords and her local mail client is thousands of emails deep with plenty of e-statements. Obviously pleas of "hey reddit, be on the lookout for someone with a black bookbag in LA" would be foolish on my part. What I want to know is what steps do we need to take to make sure that our loss here is limited to the financial value of the items in the bag (already more than two grad students can afford...), and not our credit scores and identities further down the line? And how do we best alert friends and family that anything they have ever sent us is no longer private so protect your accounts as well? So far a police report has been filed, the parking security guard has been told to look out for anyone accessing the car, and all of our cards have been cancelled. What else? Helpful advice could be: -list of sites with passwords we should consider changing, so that we don't accidentally omit anything -steps to ensure identity isn't stolen (ours and friends/family) -any way to trace the items? laptop is Macbook pro, Magellan gps -any thing else you could think of I am not Liam Neeson, and I lack his particular set of skills. But I am a student on the other side of the country and I want to help her however I can.

Girlfriend had bookbag stolen with green card, ss card, laptop containing whole life. How can we minimize the damage, both to us and to family/friends whose information is now in the hands of a thief?

About 2 months ago I (M21) went on a date with a girl (F18). We hit it off great and there was obviously mutual attraction. Unfortunately, she goes to school in a different state so we weren't able to see each other until Tuesday (she's home for the summer). Tuesday evening I took her to my house and we had sex. The sex was very awkward but also very steamy. I managed to get her off twice with my tongue and fingers (she claims that I was the first guy to have ever made her orgasm, big accomplishment for me since I'm not very experienced only having had one other partner a handful of times), but due to a combination of nervousness and excitement I had a lot of trouble maintaining an erection. I took her home that night and she told me how great of a time she had and how ready she was to do it again. The next day however was horrible. She was being incredibly short and distant while text messaging me. Eventually (against my better judgement) I decided to ask her what exactly she wanted from me. SHE WENT BERSERK. I called her on the phone and she told me to never call her again. So, I didn't call or reply and then she berated me because "I don't even care" I pointed out that her tirade was obviously conflicting and she replied that she enjoyed our sex the night before but that she needed space. I told her to call me when she was ready to talk again. We went a day and a half without speaking (we've spoken at least once a day for a month) until I finally gave into my anxiety and called her. I explained to her that I have very strong feelings her and that I felt bad because I feel like I fucked up something that could turn into a good thing very prematurely. She told me that she has feelings towards me and she isn't done with me but that she needs "time". We haven't contacted each other since.

met a girl, hit it off great, had sex, now she won't talk to me despite having enjoyed the sex and claiming to be attracted to me. What would cause a woman to want to distance herself after having had sex?

Okay, so this happened in 5th grade, which was 5 years ago. I remember it clearly because of how embarrassing it was. In our P.E. class, we had these ropes to climb on. There was about a week dedicated to rope stuff (I don't remember exactly what though; stuff like climbing, etc.) and at the end, we got to swing and jump off of the rope (onto foam pads, of course). So when it was my turn, I got ready. At the same time, one of my best friends (both current and at the time) was getting ready to swing too. So what happened was, we both ended up swinging at the same time. It would have been fine, but she let go before I did and, somehow, one or both of us jumped more towards the other person. I let go after she did, and I ended up with my butt landing on her face. Everybody started laughing, including us, and my face turned all red. She also said that I had a bony butt. The embarrassment was real.

We were swinging and jumping off of ropes in 5th grade. My ass landed on a girl's face and I learned that I had a bony butt.

What did your professor and classmates think of this? You are a braver soul than I. I grew up in the "deep south" just outside Atlanta in the 70's. It was a hotbed of racial tension. I got beaten up and accosted at school regularly for being white. (There were only a few of us.) My mother was (and still is) openly racist. My dad just put up with her and divorced her later without being racist around me. I moved away as quick as I could after college to DC. After dealing with the friction from Atlanta's race relations, DC felt like a mixed-race Mecca to me. Finally, there was no "us" or "them". It was just everyone. I like to think I'm not racist but I had such a terrible view of black people when I was getting assaulted as a kid that parts of me are worried I might be. So I try to overcompensate, I think. As a result, any time I feel like a black person working for me is underperforming I get a huge twinge of guilt. In fact, in our last reorg both the black women who worked for me ended up moving to other teams and I feel terribly guilty. Do they think I tried to get them moved off? (I didn't, they were just better fits.)

Grew up with a racist mother. Had a lot of childhood experiences that gave me a negative view of black people. Moved to DC and got over that except for the overwhelming guilt whenever I think anything negative of a black person.

This past summer I downloaded Tinder. I was talking to a few guys, went on a failed date with one. Ended up dating another for quite a few months. But there was another guy, I'll call him Chris, who I just recently started talking to again. But here's the thing: when we first started talking we were initially going to just meet up for sex (drunken texting on my part). A few days later I panicked and told him no. He said, "Why don't we just wait until school starts back up and actually get to know each other?" School starts, Chris texts me. I have a boyfriend so I shut him down. A few months later, break-up with bf, I download Tinder again and talk to Chris and he suggests we meet for coffee. I did a terrible thing and got back together with my ex and shut Chris down for a second time. I know, I'm awful. About a month later, actually break up with bf for real and I text Chris. I tell him I'm sorry I kept bailing but if he wants to get coffee I promise I won't bail this time. He says yes. He texts me for the next few days, genuine conversation and quick responses. We meet for coffee. Talked for about an hour, about school, family, etc. At the end of the conversation he suggests we watch a movie sometime and after we part ways he texts me almost instantaneously about our coffee date. Every once in a while he will mention something sexual if it comes up in conversation but he isn't overt or obsessive about it. I'm very conflicted. I know I messed up mentioning sex when we first started talking. I expect to have sex in a few dates or so. The coffee date went really well, no awkward pauses. He asked questions about my life, etc. He seems like a nice guy but I'm super confused.

Been talking to a guy for a few days now. Great coffee date. Suggested movie. Texts often and asks questions about my life. Mentions sex occasionally if it comes up. Does he just want to hit it?

I was on the bus travelling to work when a group of Chavs walked on to the bus (Chav is a term used in England to describe a less than polite group of people to say the least.) they started swearing and talking about there nights of shagging whores and smoking weed after a while my of this dribble, my bus stop comes along and i jump off the bus. Not realising I had left my phone and wallet on the bus and one of the chavs actually jumped off the bus and gave me back my wallet which contained £30 cash my bank card and gym membership cards and my Samsung Galaxy s3 which was purchased that weekend just gone. I felt like a complete tool for judging him as a bell-end? I offered the good man some money and in the spirit of it all he refused and said "no problem mate did not want to be a scum bag and steal your shit" least i can say my faith in humanity was restored at least for a while. Apologies for spelling and grammar mistakes I maybe from England but its late and my English sucks on a good day to say the least.

prejudged a person as a Scum bag ended up leaving wallet and brand new phone on bus he jumped off before his stop and gave me my possessions and refused to take money as a thank you

26 white male, single for about two years now. A few LTRs before that, all broken off by me except for the longest one. Stable job, some good friends, decent body, busy schedule (boxing team and semi-pro photography). Bad habits are constantly checking email and Facebook, thinking that not hearing from someone for a few days means they're not interested, and not being forward enough for fear of being found creepy. My previous relationships weren't really ideal, more relationships for the sake of relationships. I'd never taken time to discover who I really was. Now that I've been single for a couple of years I've started doing what I want. I'll get the occasional hookup here and there but I don't really seem to be meeting anyone interested in anything beyond hanging out and sex. I do feel that even if it is busy, my schedule is flexible enough to be able to devote a good portion of my time to maintaining a relationship. Is this the reality of post-college dating...that it takes longer to form the connections that bring two people together? I notice that a lot of the posts on here asking for advice on relationships are either in their early 20s or 30s. Is late 20s generally considered a time to be free and single if you're not already committed? Should I be focusing my energies less on meeting 'the right person' and more on enjoying my freedom while I can?

attractive, stable mid-20s male, single for a couple of years, had some fun, found myself but no dating 'momentum', wondering whether to devote my limited free time to one or two 'potentials' or just go live it up for a couple more years.

There is a little bit of back story to this, I'm not sure what else to do cause I'm clearing hurting someone I truly care about. We have been dating for a few months now and she hasn't been dishonest with me what so ever, but every now and then, a topic will come up that with my past relationships, I have felt the need to cover up so she doesn't get mad. For example; I know that she doesn't care if I watch porn but if she asks me about it, I feel the need to protect her feelings and say "no I didn't watch porn today", but my poker face is non-existant. I can't lie. So she gets upset because she has always been lied to in the past by asshole guys and it's not like it happens regularly, but it has happened more than it should. Why is it that I can't just tell her the truth about everything, even though I know the lie will get me no further if not less ahead than the truth?! I feel so immature and selfish, but I panic and don't what to say other than something that will make me look like the good guy.

Girlfriend gives me opportunities to tell the truth and I end up lying to save my bacon, but I get caught and the situation gets worse.

So when we were in high school, my best friend was dating this guy. Their relationship was pretty bad, and it was clear to everyone but them that it wasn't going to last. My best friend was constantly complaining about what he did and what he said, which gave me a pretty bad impression of him. I kind of hated him for most of senior year. Eventually, my best friend broke up with him over the summer. All three of us ended up going to the same uni, but the dorm situation ended up different than expected. I ended up in the same dorm as my best friend's ex and some of his friends, and my best friend lives in a dorm that is a 20 minute walk across campus. I started having lunch and dinner with my friend's ex and his group of friends, and my best friend ended up hanging out with a bunch of other people. Eventually, it started to feel like my best friend wasn't my best friend anymore. She stopped texting me and stuff, and we haven't seen each other in a long time. I started hanging out with her ex, and it turns out he is a really good guy. I was only getting one side of the story when I was talking to my friend about him, but hearing him talk about his relationship with her made me realize some things about my "friend" that made me rethink my friendship with her. So now, the situation is that my best friend is no longer a friend at all, and her ex is one of my best friends now. Not only that, but I am starting to have some feelings for him. He is a really great guy, very sincere and good-hearted. I feel like he deserves better than her. I haven't told any of my friends, my ex-friend, or the guy about any of these feelings. I'm not going to try to get into a relationship now, because I know that he is still trying to get past what happened between him and my ex friend. I don't know if I am a bad person for having feelings for him, and I don't know if that was contributing to the split between me and my old friend. I am not quite sure how to proceed now... Thanks for reading, and advice is welcome.

Best friend had a relationship with this guy, but that ended rather badly. Now, I'm hanging out with my friend's ex and my friend is not exactly my friend anymore. I'm starting to have feelings for my ex friend's ex boyfriend. Any advice?

Hi all! I'm 25/m 5'8", been dieting and exercising for about 12 weeks now. Dropped about 20 pounds, starting at 240 and currently standing at 218 this morning. When I started, I stayed away from a lot of social gatherings and just focused on my program. Well honestly I was just a bit self-conscious about how much I gained. I also have a skin condition on my face that causes rashes to break out a lot. Anyway, I skipped out on a lot of birthdays, graduations, etc. Around week 8 I felt confident enough to start going out again, the diet has pretty much eased the rashes on my face and I'm more clear than I have been in awhile. My friends noticed my weight loss immediately. These days I'm starting to attend more gatherings and kind of regretting it, haha. I find it hard to stay away from all the drinks and snacks that come along with it. From starting at a pace of 2-5 pounds lost every week, I haven't lost any weight in the past 2 weeks. Thankfully I haven't gained.

Now that I'm more socially active, I'm finding that I cheat my diet a lot more than when I started. Anyone else struggling with this?

Hmm. How to rationalize that suggestion.. Did she specify the god of Abraham per chance? I'm guessing that is the only god Beck relates to.. also depends where you put the bar of "sane" and "insane" in regards to scripture. She's has a Catholic upbringing, so we'll go with relatively sane (though she's been listening to Beck so.. hrm). This may be difficult for me because I see Beck as a lunatic. Alright, down to business. God could be behind it and still be a good deity if this is meant to remind us to be more compassionate to each other on a day to day basis. Being that our bodies are on loan from God, he can recall them at any time without it being considered an act of evil (like taking a DVD back from your friend that you loaned it to). Seeing others in pain and suffering triggers our need to help others in most people. It may also make people curse God for being a bastard but, in time, he'll forgive that meanwhile the gift of suffering and compassion will live on. Catholics are interesting with suffering in that regard. To suffer is seen as a being closer to God in that Jesus suffered and you are sharing in that. This is not a view shared by many groups. Not even many Catholics share this but it is there nonetheless. Though, considering this is Beck.. he's probably implying that this is what happens when you invite godlessness into your country and that it is a wake up call to make atheism/shintoism/buddhism/not-being-like-glenn-beck a crime against humanity and God.

If she implies compassion for all others, slightly crazy but not stab you in the night for being a heretic crazy. It may just be the warm and fuzzy crazy but be alert in case it changes to #2. If she implies something ignorant/hateful/judgmental, RUN!

Well sure, it depends on the situation (and the guy), but overwhelmingly if you're actually going out , just the two of you, more often than not it's seen as a date, especially if you haven't know the guy very long and it's not something you've done before. Even if you have...

it can be very difficult for men and women to "just be friends," men to be friends with women they find attractive, especially when you're young and in your teens / twenties.

College student here. Woke up on my friends' couch at like 8, went back to sleep until 9. Problem is, I have a 9:45 class and still had homework to do, which I neglected last night to hang out with my friends and smoke a bit. So, I get to doing my homework when my bowels decide that it's a good time to ruin my momentum. Apparently some of the food I ate yesterday didn't agree with me. Got to class a bit late, still got to hand in my homework, sitting here now typing on reddit because this class is so outdated that it hurts (Object Oriented Programming). So the stomach problems sucked, but if that's the worst that happens to me today then I'm okay with that.

had a terrible poop in the morning that got in the way of me doing homework, got to class late, but still handed in my work and no real issues arose. EDIT: My 11:30 class got cancelled, day just got a whole lot better.

Wife and I were also 15+ year smokers when we started discussing kids. We decided that we would quit before becoming pregnant (hear me out, it relates) and started first with non-nicotine electronic cigarettes. It went pretty well for me and eventually I quit using it after about 2 months. Wife didn't like it and continued to smoke cigarettes. I ended up going back to smoking on the weekends while having a beer (which isn't quitting) and she was back pretty much to normal smoking. I was cooking dinner one night and wife comes into the kitchen and declares we are now non smokers and shows me the pregnancy test she just took. She has never had another cigarette since that day though sometimes says she still craves one. During the time that she was pregnant she said every time she wanted a cigarette she would think of our new life with a third person and the cravings would go away. I also (other than the night after I child's birth where lots of whiskey and smoking were involved with friends) quit smoking at the same time. For us, aids like electronic cigarettes or "vaping" did not help us (my wife) quit. We had tried contests (who can last the longest without a cigarette) as we are both pretty competitive people. We tried cutting back (going from 10-15 a day to 1-5). We tried the "only when you drink" method (not helpful if pregnant haha). We tried the only smoking relaxing after dinner cigarette. None of these methods ended up working for us better than my wife becoming pregnant and us realizing that our life was changed forever that day.

We tried many methods to quit in the past that didn't work. The realization that we are responsible for the upbringing of a brand new human made quitting stick.

Open your mind for just a moment and consider this: our ancestors have already tried anarchy. For about 2 million years actually. When we were hunter gatherers, we were all completely autonomous and answered to no higher authority or form of governance. Tribes emerged because if you work together in groups of about 100, you have a better chance of surviving than That group of 10 guys over there. When those primitive people lived together in relatively small groups like that, it was effectively perfect anarchy. Everyone did what they needed for the survival of the group and true altruism existed by necessity. If you betray your tribe you're betraying yourself and weakening everyone, so evolutionary forces favored altruism. Then the agricultural revolution happened. This is arguably the biggest paradigm shift in human history and it changed everything. For the first time in the 2 million year history of our species' there there is settlement, surplus of food and division of labor. Groups grow from 100 to 1000 to 10,000. Naturally, 10,000 people are harder to manage than 100 people, and required social structures and governance. This mostly existed in the form of religion early on, but "governments" eventually emerge in every successful civilization or group throughout history. You show me a large group of people post-agricultural revolution, I'll show you their equivalent of high level collective rules and social structure, aka government, aka the social contract. Lesson of history: Government of some sort the natural way homo sapiens organize themselves in large groups because of evolutionary pressures on those groups throughout history. Its engrained in our memes just like physical traits are written in our genes. Over the past 10,000 years, we evolved with governments and governments evolved with us. Is what we have today perfect? No. Does it need to change? Of course it does. Is throwing away the lessons of history and reverting to pre agricultural revolution social structures a good idea? You decide!

small groups of people and anarchy is great, large groups of people it's not, and the story of humanity thus far proves my point for me.

Just discovered this subreddit. How great that this is here! My wife and I adopted a yorkie/dachshund mix who is a little under two years old. She was about a year old when we got her. She's very obedient at home, and an absolute sweetheart. When we take her on walks though, it's a different story. If she sees another dog coming in her path, she will become absolutely fixated on it and start barking like crazy. She'll start squirming around her leash and try to get close to it. She doesn't want to attack. She just wants to meet it. It comes off, however, as pretty scary (and embarrassing). My wife and I have tried redirecting her attention with treats while on walks. She responds very well to them when there are no other dogs in sight, but when she sees another dog coming, calling her name and trying to redirect attention with treats is worthless. We've also tried walking in the other direction, getting her attention again (which works), and then slowly going back towards the other dog/owner (which does not work). Often times we'll just have to re-route our walk. I know this is going to be a long process, and I don't expect there to be any kind of quick fix, but I'm just wondering if anybody has any kind of advice or tips for helping us get our dog to behave on walks.

Well-behaved dog barks like crazy and lunges when she sees another dog on our walks. Wife and I have tried some techniques, but are looking for more/better ideas.

I'm an audio/visual coordinator. I set up projectors and mics for meetings in hotels. Sometimes I have to sit in the meetings and monitor the mixing board. It's boring, but we're not supposed to bring laptops to dick around on because the client is paying extra for us to be there to monitor shit. I bring my laptop, and I get away with it every time. First thing I do is open Audacity, then open an audio file (Madonna's Material Girl is good for this) and I play it with the volume muted. When the client comes to stick his/her nose up in my business at the tech table, I stare intently at the wavy lines that the song is making within the program, pretend to adjust something on the mixing board, pretend to notice the client, and say, "Hi there. Sorry, just checking levels." It looks terribly impressive, and I never get a complaint that I spent the whole session staring at my laptop. Of course, as soon as the meeting gets underway, Audacity is minimized and I'm on reddit until the end of the day.

I make my laptop look like necessary equipment so the client won't complain that I was on it all day. It's not at all necessary.

I have been a lurker for a while, but now I am hoping for some direction. I am a senior biochemistry undergrad from Virginia tech, and there is only one class the spring semester that I need to graduate, which I am taking as a transient student at George Mason University. I thought there was so much time, time that I wasted, and now have a shitty 2.3 gpa. I need to find a job for the fall to pay spring tuition, but I am looking for something that I can work during and after I am finished school. Is there a term for this type of work? It doesn’t seem to fit an internship, and I would like to do something relative to my field. Any suggestions in the job search? Worst comes to worst I might have to work retail or food service like I did in high school, which wouldn’t be so bad if my girlfriend of 4 years didn’t have a high paying corporate job, which makes me feel a little insecure. I may volunteer at the hospital so my resume doesn’t look so bare. Graduate school seems out of the question. Please give me a new direction.

I was a bum in college, and am looking to turn things around. What options are available to me? Thanks for your time and input

Hi everyone, I'm a freshman at university(21M) and I met this girl(20F) back in july who's living in the same residence hall as me. Started off as friends ( i suppose) but after interacting a bit with her though common activities in the residence hall i eventually tried to text her a bit of flirty stuff and got her out for a dinner and a walk around the local shopping area through text. I'm not sure if she saw it as a date but i did make sure that there social cues were there (paid for the bill; she accepted, coversation was flowing throughout the whole thing, lightly kino-ed her on her shoulder and arms quite a bit) After the date she texted back saying she had fun, and agreed to go out again somewhere else next time. On the first date we did pass by a movie theatre and we stopped for a bit to talk about recent movies and she did express interest on one of the movies that were showing. So i am hoping to ask her out again next weekend to watch that (i know movie's a bad idea...) and follow up with a meal. Should I ring her up this time round to set up this date (or even ask her personally face to face? - she tends to go around with friends so it is a bit hard to isolate to ask her out face to face though...) or should I simply ask her out through text again? [

fancied a girl, asked her to go out for dinner on text the 1st time. she agreed, we talked a lot and had fun. should i continue to text her to ask her for 2nd date?

But they are right. I have MUCH more success with women since becoming an indifferent asshole. Only caring about yourself and treating others like shit will lead to women sleeping with you. Being nice to women and a gentlemen will lead you nowhere. If you are true to yourself and actually have intellectual standards and aspirations within a relationship then you won't get far. Most people are idiots, especially when it comes to physically attractive women who don't exactly have to work for anything in life there is a pretty high chance that you will get an airhead. Most people will admire you for confidence and being dominant. Smart and respectful and caring people aren't confident nor dominant. Being confident requires not questioning yourself. Being dominant means not caring about others. And don't try to paint those behaviours in gay colours and pretend I got it wrong. Lying, saying very stupid things, and generally being a jerk is what women want. Giving it to them will get you laid. Fact. When I cared about others and actually thought about what I was doing in a critical manner I was limiting myself tremendously when it comes to women. Also, being poetic and romantic is not a good thing. Being a egocentric brute and saying very stupid and unimaginative shit like "You're my only one, babe" and then fucking her hard and then being busy and ignoring them is what makes them crave you. The problem with smart people is: Most people won't ever realize they are smart... because most people aren't smart enough for that. The problem with good people is: Most people won't ever realize they are good people... because good people will be modest and often not even claim to have done the good things they did. The problem with good thinkers is: They won't ever be confident... because being confident would require not thinking about what you are doing. Not showing off muscles, not talking about your qualities, not being confident, not bragging about your accomplishments, not deliberately demonstrating your worth in all the other ways... that won't get you laid. There are countless of people I know that are significantly smarter than I am and would take much better care of girls than I... but I know that they will never get laid until women in their age range have already withered away and people like me lost their interest in them as they are not physically attractive anymore and usually bitter about being deceived so often.

Everything women tell you about women is a lie . Stop pretending that women like nice guys. Stop pretending that it isn't a fact that they want alpha-animals. Being smart and poetic won't get you laid. being an asshole pretending to be smart will get you laid.

Okay, for some background: I've been renting a house for about a year. Right next door to us is one of the, if not the least maintained house on our street. The lawn is cut, but other than that the house looks rather dumpy. On top of that, none of the blinds has ever been pulled on any of the windows. Some of the "blinds" look more like cardboard. The worst part though is that sometimes at night, there are noises coming out of the house like a grown man yelling. It's a low pitched, gravely yawp that sounds entirely like a mixture between pain and frustration. I am terrified that something seriously messed up is going on in that house. I'm not sure what grounds I have to call the police, but should I? Am I overreacting?

Recurring yelling man in a secretive, creepy house next door. Should I call police? Edit: This has been going on somewhat regularly for the last year. I'm concerned that there might be someone being held against their will.

Okay so, about a month back my boyfriend did something that was completely ruined our relationship and the trust that I had built for him, when I confronted him to let him know that I knew he had done what he did and almost broke up with him, he begged me not to and said that he would change. Recently, I have felt like I've been putting more effort into the relationship than he has. This doesn't seem fair to me because he's meant to be redeeming himself and proving himself to me. It's not that he's been putting very little effort, just not equal to the effort I put in. Also, I don't feel like he's putting much effort into changing his ways to help improve our relationship. He says he will change, but when I bring up something that he does that bothers me, he says something along the lines of that's just who he is and that he can't change it. He's an incredibly opinionated person and that would be okay if he didn't express his opinion whilst completely putting down any opposing opinions. I told him that this really bothered me as it made me feel that my opinion wasn't valid and was simply irrelevant and stupid. He told me that "It's just who I am, we are (him and his brothers) all like that" He then went on to tell me that his brothers girlfriend just teases his brother about it. To me, it just seemed more like he didn't want to have to put the effort in to changing, he just wanted me to ignore the issue and make it stop bothering me?? I hope that makes sense, if it doesn't then let me know and I'll try explain it in another way. I'm wanting to go on a break in the hope that it will help him realise that breaking up is the only other option if he doesn't start putting effort in and at least trying to change his ways. Recently, I have been incredibly unhappy in this relationship, but I am willing to try and work things out because we've been together for almost 10 months, it's just hard to get him to be more co-operative. I feel that a break might help him realise the seriousness of the issue and make a change. I just don't know if it will, I'm just hoping that someone a little bit wiser and experienced will help me out and let me know if this is a good idea or not.

My boyfriend is an ass who won't change, whilst saying he will after doing a dreadful thing to me. Will a break 'shock' him into realising he's got to change or our relationship status will?

God... Most of the shit in my life that's happened by me driving myself crazy with trying to force myself to talk to a girl could've been avoided if girls could stop being as big of a bitch as I've been and actually say something. Not all guys are looking for some girl to fuck and move on, some guys go out and actually want to meet a girl and have something happen aside from an awkward morning when they're sober. When it takes several drinks for me to feel comfortable enough to say something to a girl, I'm already too drunk to be able to talk as eloquently as I'd like, and the entire situation is counter-productive. I end up looking like a drunk idiot, feeling like an even bigger drunk idiot, and then my drunk thoughts start beating up on me and I end up crying in a ball looking like a fool in front of people I thought I would be able to become friends with but only ruin any chances of doing so. When a girl goes out to a bar or club with friends, they're not looking to find a guy to fuck, but a memorable evening with their girlfriends. When a guy goes out to a bar or a club with friends, he's either there as often as he can get out, or he's there by himself trying to drown his consciousness and distract himself enough from himself to actually make it so then he can be happy later with a nice connection with someone. I've never seen any girl at a bar by themselves, and I think I'd feel just as awkward with a bunch of people that only want to fuck me trying to talk to me when all I'd like is someone wonderful to spend time with and compliment my being so I could compliment hers. It's that internal roadblock that takes very fine tuning to broaden with booze, or enough weed that you don't care about anything. I'd love to have a girl to cuddle and smoke with and watch stupid movies and have a life that I could enjoy with someone, but weed's not very legal where I am and can't be bought for someone like a shot without someone thinking of you as a provider and only that. Eh, happy holidays...

Yes, god yes... Girls, make the first move so then guys can stop feeling like they're about to implode with how self-conscious they are and how low self esteem they have. Sometimes stepping up shouldn't be saved for a Sadie Hawkins dance.

I started working my first full-time gig not long ago, and not being from the area I understandably don't have much of a social network here. Seeing my predicament, one of my more senior coworkers was nice enough to invite me to spend some time with some of his friends. We went to his place, where they had a couple of games to play which was great social lubricant, and I had some fun. Being a social klutz, I didn't get any contact information from any of his friends, but that's in the past. For a little more background: there is a bit of an age gap here, but more important than the numbers, we are at fairly different points in our lives. He's married and fairly settled, while I'm fresh out of school and in a lot of ways still act like a college kid. Despite the maturity difference I don't think it created any friction when we hung out and I think we all got along pretty well. He and I are similar in a lot of ways. Now I'd like to reciprocate by inviting him and his wife to do something, but I've never really been the instigator of social plans before. I live in a small apartment that isn't set up to entertain, but I can work with that to some degree. The bigger issue is that I don't have any of that "social lubricant" (and I don't mean alcohol) to make it so we are doing something to fill the bits between conversation: no TV, no games, nothing else I can think of (and maybe my lack of creativity is part of the problem). I also don't have any other social activities that I can just add them to the way he did for me, and I can't help but feel that just the three of us makes the whole situation slightly awkward. So one alternative I've come up with is going out for food, specifically a really great pizza place I know of that doesn't seem to be well known but I think has real culinary merit. Unfortunately, there's a gluten issue on his end, so that isn't going to work. My favorite foods and types of foods aren't really friendly to gluten-free eating, so I don't know of any good places to go that would work for this. My only remaining thought was something outdoors, but it's winter and it gets really cold here this time of year. Aside from my own disdain for the cold, I feel like that might be a bit too intense of a proposition. But maybe I'm off on that.

Coworker offers friendship by inviting me to social event. I want to reciprocate, but I'm a social dunce and can't figure out how to uphold my end of the friendship. Help? [Meta] If anyone knows somewhere else that would be good to post this, let me know.

Idr, but I do remember the time I was asked if I masturbate. The year was 2006 or 2007. The toilet downstairs had backed up and was filled to the mother fucking brim. Father: "MisterCephalopod, did you shit in here and leave it?" MisterCephalopod: "Are you fucking joking? A horse couldn't shit that much! (Could it?) Father: " Insert indiscernable grumbling noises here " Later on, concrete floor gets busted up to reveal the pump. All the shit had to be scooped out into a bucket and dumped else where. Nasty shit. Pun intended. Finally get to the pump to find the blockage. What's this? Is this a fucking balloon? Who the fuck would flush a balloon? Little did my innocent mind know, it was a fucking meat sheath! Behind the scenes, mom asks dad to confront my cousin and I who are the same age. Father: "Now boys. Your mother is making me ask this. Do you masturbate with condoms and then flush them?" Us: "Uh... what?! No! God no! Wtf dad? Mom made you ask this? What kind of person do you think that I am? People actually beat off in those things? Eww What a waste of a rain coat. Come to find out, it was my cousin's father. His parents banged in a room in the basement and flushed the evidence.

Uncle and aunt took the log to the beaver. Flush. Shit - Everywhere. Mom assumed I wasted a rubber and flushed it. Makes dad ask if I masturbate. Awkward moment ensued.

Previous posting was Ok so I am documenting what is going on. I have taken pictures, recorded phone calls and filmed some video. She has hacked onto my phone and erased the stuff but I emailed it to myself before she did that. So I still have it. She threw something at me a couple days ago, hurt and left a mark. Still couldn't bring myself to calling the police on her. I still love her. Yesterday it took me 2 hours to get home from work because I had errands I had to do. She called me and tracked my phone the whole time, but she was still angry it took 2 hours. Screamed at me and upset our child very much. I got it on video. :( broke my heart. She left when I got home and didn't tell me where she was going. A girl and her kids down the street came over after a couple hours looking for her fiancée whom my girlfriend had picked up and went somewhere with. I called my GF and asked where she was and when she was coming back, I told her the girl was looking for her fiancee. She said she was on her way back. The girl hung out while we waited and we talked (my girlfriends phone died). 2 hours later she left and I went to bed. A couple hours after that my GF came home. Today she is very upset that the girl hung out with me for a couple hours. Anyways, I want to get a lawyer and I am not sure how to go about doing it. I don't have very much money right now.

Abusive girlfriend still abusing me while I am getting ready to leave her. Just need to make sure I do whats best for my child.

We've been together for almost three years, but I've been trying to end things. I still care for him but I think it's for the better if we part ways. I told him this and what I was unhappy about, and we agreed to meet up to talk it over. We ended up crying, cuddling, and agreed we didn't resent each other for what happened. I fell asleep and left for home after waking up, and he was very affectionate to me the whole time. After returning home I asked him what he thought we were now, and if we're still broken up like I intended. He said he didn't think so, and I replied we could talk it over later. Did I give him the wrong impression? How should I go about rectifying things without hurting him more than necessary? Thanks guys.

I attempted to break up with my bf, but we ended up cuddling and sleeping in the same bed while crying. He doesn't seem to think we're still broken up now. What do?

So my gf and I have been dating 3 years and have been long distance for about 6 months. We see each other just about every 3 weeks. This time it's been about 6 weeks. She came up this weekend to visit me and then mentioned that she'd be meeting up with some of her friends that were in town. I figured she was meeting them for lunch or drinks, as we'd talked (vaguely) about going out tonight. This morning she revealed to me that she was actually seeing them for dinner and drinks afterwards, but that my roommate and I should meet them when they were done and we could do some bar hopping. Now I'm getting texts from her and her friends that are very drunk and definitely making it clear that this is a "girls night out," and my roommate and I are not invited. One of the texts reads: >Sorry we stole her from you for the night! She misses you bunches! She's sending me lots of very drunk "I loooove you" texts, which are clearly to make up for the fact that she ditched me. I'm fine with her meeting up with her friends obviously, but it is really rude to ditch me like this at the last moment. I've basically been sitting around waiting for her all day, since she told me she'd text me when they were finished. My question is, how would you handle this? Would you ever consider this an okay thing to do to your significant other, especially when in a long distance relationship with limited time to see the other person?

Long distance girlfriend I haven't seen in 6 weeks ditched me for a girls night out after telling me and my roommate I'd be meeting her afterwards. What's the right course of action here?

It seems my girlfriend and I have some issue communicating well, or rather, I have an issue conveying a lot of empathy to her. To start, both of us still live with our parents and are trying to complete school so we are able to move in together. My girlfriend recently got accepted into a radiology program that she has been waiting over 3 years to get into. Because of this, she had to move back home to her parents (who had kicked her out prior to this) and quit her full time job. Her and her dad basically do not talk because of things that happened in the past. Also, her older brother lives there (he's like 35) and she also doesn't talk to him because he's pretty much a deadbeat. There are a lot of issues there that I'm not even going to delve into, but it makes living in that house really uncomfortable for her. On top of all that, the financial aid department is most likely going to deny her aid this semester because of a technicality when she did her taxes this year. This has added quite a substantial amount of stress to her current living situation because she has no income. I've told her that I would take care of her books, food and whatever other living expense I could afford. I found a better job when I found all this out, and will now be working full-time to help as much as I can. The drive home from work is about 45 min long for me, and we talk on the phone during this time. The pressure has been getting to her these past few months, and 3/5 times we talk on the phone, it leads to her struggles with her situation. Understandably, she is feeling very stressed and depressed a lot of the times because of it. I always try to cheer her up by telling her to be positive and not let these things get her down, but it always seems that what I say is not enough and she'll just end up getting annoyed and will hang up abruptly. I'm aware that I sometimes do the typical guy thing and try to give her solutions to her problems, but generally its mostly listening and finding myself unsure what to tell her after hearing the same problems again and again. I care deeply about this girl, but I just don't know what else I can do to help her. Between work and school, we only see each other 2-3 times a week, so I feel that may have to do with it, in part, but generally I do feel as if I'm there for her. My only inkling as to what's going on is that she may think that I don't understand what she's feeling. How could I, though? And if I can understand, how do I do so?

When talking with gf about ongoing issues she's experiencing in her life, I sense that I'm not giving her the right kind of advice/saying the things she wants to hear.

I think about $500, including the time she spent beforehand going over our entire financial situation. That was several years ago so it might not be relevant to you. Internet says they charge $150-$300/hour. Personally it was worth it for me because it revealed to me a lot of the emotional issues surrounding how I was handling money in the relationship. (

I felt like I was saving properly and she was spending too much; she felt that I was hoarding money for no particular purpose; we found a happy medium).

I'm not talking about saving your best friend from laser-guided psychic cephalopods. I mean, have you ever done something huge for someone, expecting nothing in return that saved their life in the long run? For example, I dated a girl for a little over 3 years and we had a really nasty break-up due to me cheating and both of us being addicted to heroin behind eachother's backs. I continued to do heroin and became completely addicted and hit rock bottom, so I moved to a new town where I didn't know where to get junk so I could quit. I came back to that town and she had been kicked out of her parents' house (we were 18-19 at the time) and was squatting at a piece of shit heroin addict's dilapidated trailer in exchange for sexual favors and heroin money. This sickened me to no extent, so I got a hold of her one day. I got her to throw everything emotional away behind us, pack her shit up, and leave. She came to live at my house with myself and my parents for a summer. She got clean, got a good job, her own car, and gained the respect of her parents back. She's now living in a nice apartment in a different state with her boyfriend, whom is rather successful. She got into school and got her shit back together. We're still friends to this day and it kills me to think what would have become of her if she hadn't swallowed her pride and allowed me to help her out of the shit hole that was her life.

I forced my ex to live with me and my parents so she could get clean and move in with her new boyfriend and go to school and get her life on track. Does anyone have any similar stories?

Technically, you are supposed to pay what is known as a "use" tax when there is no sales tax applied. You don't pay sales tax on Amazon purchases because Amazon doesn't have a physical presence in your state. The same type of problem existed for states with things like mail order catalog companies. To get around this, states impose "use" taxes, which are essentially identical to sales taxes, but the onus/responsibility for "collecting" or paying the tax is on the purchaser, not the retailer.

by not including purchases on Amazon and paying the use tax, yes, you are lying. However, the chances of an audit to catch this are really really small.

Hi reddit. How're you doing? Have some backstory. So I entered highschool (I'm 11th grade now) and met this girl who I will call Jill. Jill creeped me out, and she would always follow me around. She liked to talk to me and try to convince me to go out with her, I always said no. So throughout my entire freshman year, this happened every day, she'd follow me around and try to get me to go out with her, I always said no. After the first semester I would tell her to not talk to me, because she made me uncomfortable and that I did not want to be in a relationship with her. That didn't stop her. Then there was summer break, which was a relief after dealing with her for so long every day. Sophomore year came around, and she kept doing what she did best, annoy the hell out of me. So I kept those same responses, until I started to get kinda pissed off about it, so I started cursing at her, she'd walk up and start talking, and I'd say, "fuck off." and walk away. Anyways, now I'm in my Junior year and she continues to annoy me. So one day, I'm sitting in the academic hallway with my two friends who will be called Tommy and John. Jill walks up to me as usual and starts talking, but I didn't pay attention to her at first, instead, I didn't acknowledge her existence, and after about 10 seconds I said something pretty dumb, " sniff sniff I smell... SNIFF I smell... looks directly at Jill Bitch." Anyways, the conversation went on for a while with us just cursing at each other. Somebody must have heard me say that first line, because the next day, the Dean pulled me out of class. I was suspended for bullying for about 2 days to think of an apology. I didn't really argue that she was cursing at me too, because I started that and I understood that I was being an asshole when I said it. After my suspension I was supposed to go to his office and apologize to Jill. Which I did. When I was done apologizing to Jill and all, I went out and started talking to classmates, I was about an hour early for school, so I had enough time to goof off. I found out that my friend Tommy told John that I was suspended for bullying, but John went around telling everyone that I was suspended for sexual harassment, I genuinely think it was a stupid mistake though, John's an idiot sometimes. Anyways, now I have to go on with life and hope that nobody actually thinks I'm a pervert.

Cursed at a girl, got suspended for 2 days on bullying, came back to people thinking I was suspended for sexual harassment. Edit: Grammar and spelling mistakes

My girlfriend received notice in the mail yesterday regarding her 2013 return--apparently the IRS has determined that she owes an additional $1k in taxes due to a disbursement she took from her mutual fund that year (she was unemployed and relocated to live with me, and needed money while she hunted for work as I could not support us both). We are both inexperienced with this sort of thing--we are in our early thirties and have not historically made enough money nor had complex enough finances to justify hiring a tax professional--typically, every year we file a simple 1040, get a modest return, and that's that. When she was filing her 2013 taxes last year, she was using TurboTax or some other online tax service that walked her through the forms she'd need to fill out. At the time, she made sure she had her documentation from her mutual fund, and thought she had accounted for everything (at least as far as TurboTax guided her). The news of this added tax burden comes at a very inopportune time--her career is very reliant on seasonal demands, and within the next couple of weeks she'll be facing either reduced hours or a temporary layoff. Ironically, she had been seriously considering taking a disbursement from her mutual fund in the near future to help cope with this period of underemployment/unemployment. At this point, we're trying to figure out how to best come at this, and this is where we hope that your collective expertise can help guide us. Based on some preliminary research, it sounds like we have some options available to us, but it's unclear to me which of these is worth pursuing, and which might be a waste of time, money, or both. She could speak with a tax professional , which surely has some associated cost and may not give us any new information if the IRS's numbers are correct **She could [apply for a payment agreement]( which would at least make the burden more bearable while she's not making as much money **She could attempt to [temporarily delay collection]( though I'm not sure how likely she would be to get approved for that **She could attempt to [make an offer in compromise]( which I'm even less sure about She could borrow the needed amount from me to make the payment in full, right away, and gradually pay me off as possible As you see it, are there any significant options I'm overlooking? Would you advise for or against any of those options given our particular circumstances? I'm happy to answer any questions you might have to clarify the situation; I tried to keep this post lean and mean and not overload it with mundane or irrelevant details.

Live-in girlfriend has a significant tax claim from an old federal return, but does not have the means to cover that expense right now. What is our best course of action moving forward?

HOPEFULLY THIS IS THE RIGHT SUBREDDIT THIS TIME Here's the story. Me 20m, her 19f. We're friends and what I would consider friendzoned. Why? Met in late 2010, as class mates, I was attracted to her. Not too long after meeting her (a couple of weeks), I felt that I should say something (hopeless at anything to do with this), and I did. Needless to say the response wasn't what I wanted. The problem? It wasn't a definite "no" technically. She said something along the lines of "maybe sometime in the future". Now admittedly, I asker her out cowardly over facebook after chickening out in real life. Now? We're both pretty good friends, and while I know saying "maybe" really means "no", that slight bit of (false)hope keeps me there. I'm still attracted to her even I know there isn't any real chemistry or anything. But for some reason, I still want to be near her, as she makes me smile. Should I just be the best friend I can be, or should I approach her and more than likely push her away? She's said that she "doesn't want a relationship, with anyone", but the fact that she said "maybe" and that was it both annoys me and keeps me going.

like friend, asked out, got "maybe in future", it is now over a year and I still have feelings for her, despite all but knowing something wont happen and thus tries to block out feelings, what do? Sorry if confusing or something.

So I am thoroughly and completely wanting to leave my job I've had for roughly four years. It's been relocated an hour away a year ago and from that moment on, I've been trying to leave for a different department for the same company. Since this clearly isn't happening, I simply want to leave my company I've been in for six years total. The problem is, I've only had customer service jobs in some capacity and never really offically in leadership. I don't want to be customer serivce anymore but I don't know what in the world I would put in it to make it appealing to something at least not directly related to customer service. I have a useless communications degree and have no idea how this would open any other doors for me. I want to go back to school for information technology or computer science but with my schedule and my commute that's pretty much impossible at this point and I'm feeling pretty discouraged about being trapped. Given the gas I have to pay, my car repairs and oil changes, I literally can't afford to work at my current job. I've applied to Costco because I've heard its a really excellent company to work for but its hard to get in. Given that, I have no idea what I can apply for that would pay decently and that isn't too related with being on the phone's all day or how.

A customer service rep that no longer wants to work customer service. How can I fix up my resume to appeal to non customer related jobs?

Initially she found out from a friend who was close to both of us. She then sent me a text message saying she wants me to reassess my feelings. From what I heard from my friends, she is non confrontational. It's been months now, and I ended up asking if we can start talking as friends and she said she will love to. I'm pretty much over her now romantically and I am interested in staying as friends. We have too many mutual friends so we still meet up. I sometimes initiate a chat and she replies. Though, I can feel some sense that she doesn't want me around even then. It seems like she doesn't want to put some effort to fix this friendship as we were close before. EDIT: She does try to talk to me when I'm with our group of friends but it is more of her teasing me about another girl. Most of the time she does not bother to chat.

Girl friendzoned me, ended up agreeing to mend the friendship, I don't feel like she is putting an effort. My questions are: Am I expecting too much? Is she being genuine? How do I proceed from here.

I got into a couple fights in my day. A little background first. I was a very small kid, until like the end of 8th grade sumer, beginning of 9th grade. I took martial arts for like ten years beginning when I was five, so I knew how to handle myself in these situations. The first one was in 6th grade and we were playing basketball at recess. This one kid took the basketball and smashed it in my face for some reason. I was like "What the fuck?" and punched him in the face. Then my two best friends (one was like 6' and 275 at the time) jumped in and beat the crap out of him for me, cuz that's what friends do. Another fight was in winter of 9th grade. This kid (Let's call him Tom) was a close friend of mine at the time (not the same friend as before). We were all sitting at the table in the cafeteria and he probably just wanted to seem cool. One kid next to me spilled water on the table. Tom told me to clean it up and he got furious that I wouldn't. I don't know why it was such a big deal to him. Why he yelled at me to clean it up is beyond me, I had nothing to do with it. He told me he was going to clean it up and then he said he would smack me. Everyone at the table laughed at it because we thought it was ridiculous. So he gets back to the table, cleans it up and tries to smack me across my face...twice. He swung with one hand and I grabbed it. Then he swung with the other hand, and I gabbed that one. I then pushed him and he fell over.(It was one of those cafeteria tables where there are benches that don't move ) He got back up and swung at me. I ducked, the grabbed his shirt with one hand and started swinging. I don't care who you are, if you go to hit me, I'm going to fight back. When the teachers came to break up the fight, we were both still standing across from each other. I was in between the table and the bench, so I couldn't really move. The teacher pulled me by my hands first, and I was stuck so he got in one punch. We were both suspended for a week from school. The next day I found out I broke his nose. Also, this fight was during the time when everyone wore those big puffy north face jackets everywhere. I was wearing mine at the time. So it kinda looked like I kicked his ass, and I wasn't even trying. I know some people will say that it's stupid to fight over some spilled water, but I didn't fight over water. I fought him because he tried to hit me first and I was just defending myself.

I got in two fights. The first one my two best friends saw a small kid being attacked and protected him. The second fight, I beat up some one with my cat like reflexes.

My family was visiting a family-friend's cabin on a lake in northern Wisconsin. The cabin was relatively large and rustic but we still had electricity and a tv to watch movies on. On one afternoon in the middle of the week a storm quickly rolls in. The trees begin to sway and the rain begins to pour. Both families ran inside to escape the weather. Finally the weather slowed so we were no longer afraid of tornados, but the wind, rain, and thunder persisted. Eventually the evening came and the parents of both families wanted to go out to dinner minus the children, which included me at the time since I was only 13. This is where it got bad. The parents left and we made some frozen pizzas and watched some old movies. We had no radio or local tv service to know what weather that was coming, but another storm front moved in. The wind howled and the thunder seemed to shake the house. The rain poured so hard we couldn't see the lake from the cabin window. And then, as it always happens in scary movies, the power went out. It was only about 9pm but it was pitch black. None of us had cell phones at the time so there was no electricity other than a dull flashlight. I was the oldest of the 6 children who were there and was teasing people about what scary situations would occur. This was a mistake. There was not another cabin for at least a mile. Suddenly, we hear a knock knock knock at the door. Who could this be? Nobody is around. Surely it's the parents playing a trick on us. We look out the window and there is no car there. Being the brave 13 year old I was, I went to the front door to see who it was. The door didn't have a window, but there was a window on the side that had a thin white cover on it. I could see the silhouette of a man when the lightning flashed with the rain pouring down. I was terrified. We were going to die. This man was going to murder us. I stepped back from the door, but it wasn't locked. The doorknob turned. We were doomed. It creaked opened and a thin, old man appeared with rain dripping off his hood. The man stepped his foot inside the door and asked if the power was out here too. That was it. He wanted to know if we had electricity. Apparently he had driven from his place to the gravel road the cabin was on. He couldn't get right up to the house because a tree, which fell down in the storm, blocked him.

Up in a cabin in northern wisconsin as a child when a severe storm knocks the power out. The parents left and an old man comes to the door in the pouring rain and lightning.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 months, we're finishing our senior year in 2 weeks and are then going to the same college afterwards. I really do like him, but at the same time i feel like if we broke up it wouldn't be too hard to move on either since we haven't been dating for long? The problem is thinking about it, i'm scared i'll be suffering from FOMO (fear of missing out). Going to parties feeling somewhat restrained? But saying this makes me feel like i'm being ungrateful of the guy I already have... What do you guys think about entering college and being in a relationship? I mean we could also just stay together and see how it plays out once the school year starts, i guess?

My bf and I have been dating for 2 months and are going to the same college next fall, should we break up to be able to live the full "college experience"?

I'm a guy, 19 years old, just came out of a 2 year relationship. I thought it was perfect for me until it started to degrade. I think I just kinda lost the touch with her, and the fire just died. However, I made a terrible mistake : I cheated. On a night of chilling with another friend (who was also in a couple), things started to get weird after playing truth or dare, and we ended up kissing multiple times and grinding. We stopped, realized what we did and how awful it was, and decided the best thing would be to immediately go tell our partners. Which is what we did. I told my girlfriend, and she flipped out (understandingly). I hurt her, I broke her trust, and she does not want to see me again (understandingly, again). We're off. The remorse is eating my heart out. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't think about anything else other than this awful mistake I made. How much of an idiot I am, how much I hurt her, how I may have ruined 2 couples and 3 lives out of my stupidity. How do you handle this? How do you redeem yourself from that? How can I be able to look at myself in the mirror now? Thanks.

19 Year old male just broke off a 2 year relationship after making the awful mistake of cheating (grinding + kissing) with another girl in another couple. Can't live with myself. Full of remorse, regret and feeling dumb. What to do? How do I live?

So like most people on here I read a TIFU and remembered a similar thing that happened to me. So little bit of context, my father used to have a friend who was quite well off and we would visit and spend time there. So basically one time their downstairs shower was broken in some way so I couldn't use the toilet in there, didn't think much of it just was told go use upstairs so off I trotted to relieve myself, thankfully was just a quick leak. Now I don't know if this was the case but I felt guilty all the same and I was about 12 y/o so I didn't think to ask but basically after doing the toilet I came downstairs to see my Dad and my Dad's friend and wife and all laughing at my uncle who was wiping his face with a towel complaining and giving me a horrible look. I still to this day don't know if that was me or it was something else but the fact they were laughing was fishy...

Uncle working on pipes behind shower, can't use downstairs bathroom so use upstairs one. Come downstairs to my Dad and his friends in stitches and my Uncle drying his face with a towel giving me a horrid stare.

Ah man... the first time I ever smoked was a nightmare. I called up my 'bad influence' friend and informed her that it was time for me to get stoned. She takes me to this depressing place in the ghetto, this little duplex where two of her highschool dropout friends lived with their infant daughter. Strong delinquency vibes from the moment I walked in the door. In hindsight, this probably where it began to go bad. I had no idea when I was going to get another chance at this, so I was determined to get high. Long story short, my first time we smoke a j and three bowls out of various pieces. Fast forward half an hour, and I am burned the eff out. Tool is playing in the background, and is seriously messing with my mind. This is about the time when I begin to realize that there is absolutely no moisture in my mouth or throat - none. My fifteen-year-old self began to panic and consume water like it was going out of style in an attempt to keep my throat open so I could breathe. We leave the depressing, haze filled cave an hour later, after which I have drank at least a gallon and a half of water. On the way home, I manage to throw up most of this on the floor mat of my friend's car. Cleaning your own vomit is no fun when blazed out of your mind. I went inside and slept twelve hours. It was the worst first experience I have had with anything, but I tried it again. With pot, practice definitely makes perfect.

Smoked entirely too much my first time and had to clean my own vomit out of my friend's car. This led to a successful smoking career.

I used to be super hardcore against it. Especially growing up and seeing what it was doing to friends. I'm not a scientist/doctor/user so don't yell at me or hate me for simply saying what I saw but; I had a few friends in HS that were extremely smart, very good students. One of them already smoked and it was kind of obvious by the way he acted but no one really cared. When my other friend, let's call him Nick because I'm too lazy to change his name, started smoking with person A bad things happened. His decline in school was obvious, he stopped getting decent grades on papers, stopped doing them all together, then eventually just stopped coming to school. They both did. Now I know what people are going to say, things like. "It was their choice to stop, marijuana doesn't do that to you. Just makes you more relaxed." etc etc. Honestly don't care. What I do care about is that with 90% of the experiences in my life where people around me started smoking, they pretty much dropped. Including brain functions. They just got plain old dumb and didn't care. Are there experiences that are different than that in my life? Oh yeah. My best friend started smoking a year or two ago (she's younger than me and still in HS) and she's graduating at the top of her class this weekend. She doesn't seemed to have changed at all. So I do know it's a person's choices while they smoke that makes the outcome differ. But when most of my experiences are negative, I'm going with a negative. Current day thoughts: I still don't think smoking it is healthy. I don't see how it could be. "More healthy than cigarettes" yes, but burning to death or drowning are still two fucking ways to die... However I'd be willing to try ingesting it. I can't see how that'd be too bad. But I've entered a gray area when it comes to how I feel it being legalized. Medically sure, no doubt. But not how it stereo-typically is in Cali where you can just walk in to a store with a "cough" and get it. At the moment I only think cancer patients, AIDS patients and other serious diseases should get it. I think it deserves merit to be legalized. But only after actual health studies and tests are done. Not the current anti-weed propaganda out there. But I'm still against smoking it.

I don't think it's healthy to smoke, personal experiences make me believe it has a negative affect and shouldn't be legalized. I'd be willing to try a brownie.

Had a roommate move in once, some brown skinned guy. Didn't think much of it, he seemed fine, but a real recluse. Just sat on his side of the room all the time, didn't leave the house much, not sure he went to class. No real interactions between us, he wasn't much of a talker and I didn't want to push it. It didn't seem like we'd have much in common anyway. Fast forward a few months and his side of the room is filthy, he just sits there all day with his shit gathering around him while he chows down and watches movies. I ask him to clean up his stuff. He ignores me, keeps watching TV. I ask again and when I don't get a response I take a drastic measure. I grab a baseball bat from my closet and smack the guys bed, as a warning. He freaks the fuck out and runs off to my side of the room, cornering himself. "Wrong way motherfucker" I smack his head, one strike is enough to kill him. His blood on my bat, I see his lifeless body on the ground. I know I need to dispose of his body, so I pick it up, take it out back and built a small fire. I rip off every limb and chuck it into the flames. As I do I think this guy probably had a wife and hundreds of kids. My killing doesn't stop here. I've got to kill them all. No spider shall survive.

roommate was a recluse, after a few months of his BS I killed him and burnt his body, vowing to kill his wife and kids next.

Mildly NSFW, but not really. The FU happened a few months back, but the consequences were felt today. I also want to quickly preface this by saying that I am in high school, attending a semi-boarding school as a day student. That is all. So back in December, I was jamming on Reddit, browsing /r/freebies when I found a post for free stickers. Actually, free Pornhub stickers to be exact (link to post [here]( Being a teenager for liking stickers, being human for liking freebies, and being male for liking ahem , I thought the freebie was quite neat, so I signed up for some. First, I signed up once for stickers that would be sent to my home. Then, being my frugal self and always wanting more, I signed up for some that would be sent to my school. I figured, since responses to the top comment said that the packaging was relatively discreet, nobody's going to notice what I ordered. Big mistake. The packaging was received from my school today, and it came in a white envelope. Now I'm not used to handling snail mail, since I've grown up in the generation of technology, so even though I knew beforehand that the packaging would come in a white envelope, I didn't realize (especially since envelopes from bank statements that I often get are much thicker) that you can really easily, and I mean really easily see through it. One of the teachers screened my post, and immediately saw about three stickers with the word 'Pornhub' printed on them. Now we all know how unforgiving and thoughtless teachers are. So basically, after getting a telling off from the teacher, given a lecture on how 'I'm too young for porn, it is inappropriate for my age, I am not mature enough to be exposed to this', I've got detention for Friday, also supposedly as I was planning to use them around school (I had not idea what I would be doing with them), and I'm gonna have to stay in after school for that. Oh, and I don't even get to keep the stickers that I waited three months for. Goddammit /r/freebies

Ordered some Pornhub stickers to be sent to my school, the post got screened, I was given a lecture on sex, and now I've got detention this Friday.

The back story. My best friend (22 F) and I (22 M) have been friends for years. Since last summer I have thought that she might have a thing for me, and the reddit community agreed on another post of mine from a couple weeks ago, which I presume can be found by clicking my user name (I"m new to reddit, so I don't know how all of this works just yet). In short, the reason why I think she likes me is based on things she periodically says, with a slight physical cue tossed in on a lesser frequency. And for a few months now, I think I've been forming some feelings for her. We have a very good mutual friend 21 (M) who we've both known for years, however, that I've suspected that she may also have a thing for as well since last fall. However, the reason I think she may like him is based on physical interactions and on occasion things she says. Fast forwarding to last night, the three of us went out to a bar. While there, one of the few things she did was, after reapplying her pinkish/red lipstick, she grabbed his hand and kissed it leaving a lip print. She does not, however, show such playful affection towards me, nor anyone else in our circle of friends. Considering that she picked me up on the way to the bar last night, she also drove me home. But as we were out front and still in the car, I decided to ask her in a platonic manner if she did like our mutual friend. She said no, and reaffirmed it when I asked if she was sure. And I just told her plainly that I just had my thoughts due to the way she interacts with him. She took the whole thing pleasantly and left as it was already so late. Shortly thereafter, I received a text from her answering my earlier texts that addressed various points. She ended it by saying good night with a smiley face. HOWEVER, she added a separate text afterwards with the left facing crescent moon emoji and another emoji with a flattered blushing face on the iPhone keyboard. IMPORTANT: I just found out from her earlier this week, that her and her ex boyfriend when wishing each other would wish each other good night, one would send the left facing crescent moon and the other would send the right facing one to essentially represent how they completed one another. So when I sent my response shortly thereafter, I reciprocated the gesture and sent the right facing crescent moon. She has never done this before, and I find it beyond coincidence that she just so happened to send that fifteen minutes after I asked her if she liked the friend we just went out with. QUESTION: Do you think this is her way of telling me that she likes me? Please let me know what you think. Thank you! =)

I think my best friend used something from her last relationship to signal that she likes me after I asked her if she liked our mutual friend that we just went out with. Read last five stanzas.

I'm a female (21), and the person in question is male (22). Relevant data: We go to school together; he's a senior, I'm a junior, we work together on campus. We've known each other for about a year and a half, and he started expressing interest in being more than friends around New Year's. Since around February, we'e been hooking up on a fairly consistent basis, went out to dinner a couple times, and spend a lot of extra time at work together, just hanging out. The problem is that I feel like I get completely mixed signals from him depending on the day. Sometimes he'll one word text me and we'll essentially be out of touch for a day, other times we talk for hours and cuddle during movies. The sex is fantastic, but then sometimes he'll go ahead and call it "making love" or make a joke about how I'll be "dating a homeless guy in six months" when he doesn't get into grad school. As for me, I'm totally game to continue with hooking up and being friends or to have it mature into something more substantial. I just despise the liminal space between these two options and want to know what others feel he's leaning towards. I know it's not much info, but I'm glad to provide more if it'll help. Just looking for a few second opinions is all.

Guy I've been hooking up with sends mixed signals and I cannot figure out whether he's looking for something serious or just wants to be laid back about this. Edit: Spelling

Unlike many of the TIFU stories I've seen around here, this actually took earlier today/last night. For her graduation/birthday party, my little sister decided she wanted to screen Trolls 2 with her friends because it was, and I sort-of quote, "the best worst movie [she] had ever seen." Past that, she kept both the general plot and the case a fairly tightly-held secret. She's been planning this thing for months . Fast forward to today. For some background, I have general anxiety and various things can set this off, including horror movies. I've always been pretty bad with them, but my anxiety makes things even worse because it could be the absolute worst horror movie in the world and really not that scary, yet I'd still probably be terrified of it anyway. Because of this, I generally duck out of the room and find other things to do if I know there's going to be horror movies being watched. The key phrase here is "if I know". So tonight, my dad and I (mostly my dad) set up the projector and the laptop etc etc so my sister and all the people who showed up to the party can watch the movie. I only got brief glances at the case during all of this because I was busy helping with stuff elsewhere at the same time. The movie starts and it's not too bad, but then all the horror movie-type stuff starts. That should have been my cue to get the hell outta Dodge, but because I'm needed in the party, I can't just disappear until the movie finished. In addition, my sister apparently decided the volume needed to be super-high so even if I DID successfully manage to leave, I'd still have to listen to every word. So now, here I am. Seven hours after the movie and the party ended and I still can't sleep and I'm terrified that not only will I get eaten by some of the worst goblin costumes known to humankind if I eat anything or take a shower, my family will end up like that, too, even though it was an absolutely shitty movie and I know it for what it is.

Accidentally watched a shitty horror movie and managed to set my anxiety off. Now I can't sleep, eat, or bathe without fear of getting eaten by shitty goblin costumes.

Backstory: (for easier reading: Ex-friend will be named Ashe) We met in fifth grade and had been best friends until a year after we graduated (2011). In tenth grade, she got into a relationship with a guy (J) that lasted until around the time we stopped talking to each other. The two had a tumultuous relationship that escalated after they got engaged. I tried to play mediator between the two (stupid move, but at the time, I was asked to) and ended up getting too involved in their relationship. Ashe ended the relationship and it destroyed J. He called me one day and asked to talk because he was depressed, so we hung out with one of his friends. I also found out that he started cutting and was becoming increasingly suicidal in the aftermath of the breakup. One night, he blurts out that he had romantic/sexual feelings towards me, which put me in a tight spot because: a) I knew he was rebounding, b) Ashe was still my best friend and it was wrong to do anything with him, and c) I was terrified that turning him down would make him harm himself more. I let him know my feelings towards what he said and he was okay with it (however, I pulled his best friend aside and asked to keep an eye on him to make sure he wouldn't go off the deep end). Well, a few weeks later, we got high together and ended up having sex. I instantly regretted it. Ashe finds out by going through his Facebook and seeing the messages between us and blows up at the both of us. I was eventually able to get her alone and talk to her about what happened, acknowledging that I fucked up and apologizing for betraying her trust. She said that it was okay and I thought things would soon get better. She later deletes/blocks me on Facebook, tells our mutual friends, one of whom harasses me about it, and generally hates my guts. We'd see each other from time to time (small town/went to the same community college/still have mutual friends) and she'd basically treat me like I don't exist. Present: I ran into her last week at Dunkin Donuts on my way to work and asked her for her number, fully expecting her to either ignore me or tell me to fuck off. Weirdly enough, she gave it to me. I texted her later on in the day to see if we could talk and she gave let me know when her days off were. Later on in the week, I asked again if we could talk over coffee, but she wouldn't answer my calls or texts, so I let it be. Yesterday, she called/texted me, but when I answered, she didn't respond. So, I'm currently at an impasse on what to do.

Two years ago, my fuck up caused an end to a friendship. Last week, I run into ex-best friend and ask for her number on a whim and desire to reconcile or seek closure. She gives it to me, but won't return calls or texts. Wat do?

one of my exes wrecked my car while I was out of town on a trip.(she ws using it to get back and forth to her job while her pos was in the shop). She shattered her heel in the process. When I got back into town a full month after the accident she had lost about 20 pounds. She was about your height and I had always appreciated her curves. She looked emaciated. But the important thing to me was that she was alive and relatively unharmed(head on collision @ 60 mph, so she was lucky to be alive). She ended up dumping me a month later but that's another story. my point being fuck that guy.

they don't like it when you act like there is a car traveling perpendicular to your direction in an intersection so son after an accident.

You can't see this country as one giant country turning into a police state. We're 50 small city-states with their own rules and regulations on top of the Federal ones. The states are constantly battling Federal law, and a lot of times the State laws will vary or the will just flat out ignore Federal law. Technically a state doesn't have to obey a any federal regulation, the feds would just revoke funding. That being said I've never seen TSA's invasive pat-down enforced here in Texas yet it will happen in California and Arizona all the time. We can record police all we want and only one party has to know of it (the filmer, so we could record in secret if we wanted to), state police are usually cooperative but will buck with the FBI if they think it's not in state interests, etc etc. The rules here vary widely, and you'd be hard pressed to find the same legal atmosphere in Texas versus California versus Florida versus New York. I hate the way Texas treats environmental interests, but they treat businesses great. I hate how California is a giant circlejerk of useless politicians, but they're the most socially progressive. I hate Arizona in every way except the Air Force presence they have.

you can't say the US is unified enough to be a police state, because the individual states won't put up with radical laws from the Federal government and each state is different.

Pun intended. So after I paid off my debts, and I didn't really need the $ that was going towards my debts, it started a fire under my rear end for learning everything I could about personal finance and retirement saving. This sub has been a gold mine of information for me as well as its recommended links, readings, and philosophy. Recently, my father (55 years old) asked me (28 years old) for some advice on his personal retirement accounts in terms of his asset allocation based on his last quarterly statement reporting an unrealized loss of 7.2% that equated to roughly -$16,000 over the last three months. Thanks to this sub for educating me and providing me ample information to help my Dad with. Specifically the [FAQ/Wiki]( as well as the [TSP guidance]( held within. Not only was this pretty eye opening for me but I was glad that I had a wealth of knowledge after reading everything I could from this sub as well as Bogleheads in terms of the importance of deciding on an optimal [asset allocation]( periodically rebalancing it, and staying the course after you put all of the work and thought into how volatile you were comfortable being. Thank you for the knowledge and the continued support of all things related to passing on sound, relevant, and important financial information to the masses.

Father asked for retirement account advice and I had some great information to pass him and we had a great discussions with a lot of substance due to the information & education I received from this sub.

2 months (of therapy) < 7 years (of an abusive relationship). Way way less. It's going to take a lot longer than a couple of months to undo years of abuse. You might not be able to salvage this relationship, but for the sake of your future relationships, you better make an honest and long-term commitment to therapy. Your

shows some insight. I think you can change, but only if you really really want to. Your past behavior and (low) level of committment to change suggest otherwise, though... Good luck.

Today I verbally snapped at a girl whom is helping with a play that I am currently in. Here's what happened and a little backstory: This summer the girl I snapped at started spreading rumors to people in direct contact with my girlfriend and her family saying that I had told her that "ThatOneGuy20 has daydreams about me and would break up with [Crashkitteh] for me." I had never said these things, nor would I, I'm not that type of guy. When my girlfriend found this out we almost broke up until she found out who the girl was and then laughed. Since that incident I have had a strong disliking for her and her lying. As I have already said, she is currently working as stage crew for the production I am in. My girlfriend decided to do stage crew as well so she could keep an eye on her (I believe her when she say this because we have a relationship that works well, best relationship I've been in.) and spend more time with me. The past few nights the girl (I'm going to call her B) and her father (whom is a super-conservative christian) have been causing problems for my girlfriend and I, saying that our PDA (a simple kiss now and then or a hug) have been distracting and have been making note to mention it to the director and not myself or my girlfriend. B has also been barking orders at my girlfriend (DO THIS NOW! COME HERE! etc.) Yesterday, I told her that if she wanted the rest of the crew to respect her that she might try to say please she retorted with a snarky reply and we had a shouting match. After rehersal her iPod had gone missing. She then went around yesterday and today saying that I took it, she knew it etc. etc. Starting more rumors and causing me more problems. Today, I come to rehersal and get bombarded by my grandmother and two others ("You know B is telling people you stole her iPod") which needless to say upset me. The girl hasn't said anything to me about it but everyone else knew. Well, about a quarter of the way through the show she passes me and says "I moved your flask..." and I lost it. I don't know if it was just everything building up but I flew off the handle 'What the fuck!?! Did I ask you to? NO! I had it where it was for a specific reason! I don't give a flying fuck if you're a crew member or not, DON'T TOUCH SHIT UNLESS YOU'RE ASKED!" This went on for a minute to a minute and a half until she walked up the stairs and away from me. What I heard later (after an actress came downstairs and gave me an attitude about the incident.) was that when she walked upstairs and broke down into tears. Was I wrong for bitching her out?

Girl causes problems with girlfriend and I (possibly out of jealousy), treats and talks to my girlfriend like crap, starts argument when I suggest being nicer, claims I stole her iPod, moves prop without asking, gets bitched at, cries.

To give you a little background, I found her on Tinder and after a few messages she told me to add her on snapchat. I did this and we have been snap chatting for about 1-2 days, but most of her snaps are just pictures with no text and I am left guessing what she is trying to say. Last night I asked her if she smoked (to try to get some response, I now realize that may have been a poor choice) and she only said "No". I am not sure if she is just a shy because we do not know each other or if she is not interested. Although I do not know why it would be the latter if she continues to respond.

Met girl on Tinder, been snapping her and have had no idea what she is thinking. INB4 Catfish: she is not a catfish, she has sent me snaps of her and her friends a few times.

Mine was really bad. First, I was super nerdy and awkward, and so ready to just lose my virginity that it was with someone I barely knew. I had just met her the day before, and was totally unprepared for the interest she showed me. My friend I was with was into a friend of this girls so we were all hanging out. The next day my buddy calls me up, and tells me she is super into me and wants to fool around. At this point, I spend the rest of the day fantasizing about the whole thing and what is going to happen later. That night all four of us are hanging out at this girls house, and we decide to go down into the woods behind the house and "hang out." Well I end up making out with this girl on an overturned rowboat with ridges digging into my back, while my friend and this other girl are going at it 10 feet away on a picnic table. I'm struggling with a condom because I have no idea how to put it on, rapidly losing my erection due to my crippling anxiety, and end up tossing, it and trying again. I end up getting it on finally, and she slides on top of me for roughly 3 minutes before I cum. I hide it, and try and keep going hoping my giant size libido will prompt another erection. In the meantime, my back is grinding into the ridges of this boat painfully, and I am struggling to find a way to hide my "quick draw." It didn't help my friend and this other girl were flogging away like champions. Overall, 0/10. I have gotten much better since then.

Had terrible sex with girl I barely knew, on overturned rowboat with ridges while my friend was plowing another girl on a picnic table 10 feet away.

I went dress shopping while visiting my hometown since my mom, sister, and a couple of my bridesmaids were there at the same time. I found a dress that all of us love, and I'm very close to pulling the trigger on it. The bridal boutique didn't give me the designer or style, but after perusing their website, I found it. I live ~1.5 hours away, and I found a boutique close to me that carries the same designer. It's definitely not a horrible drive to make to go back to the original place I found it to get my measurements and actually order it, but it would be that much easier to order it where I live so that I can stop in for measurements and alterations as necessary. Is that messed up?

I found my dress at a boutique 1.5 hours away, but I'm thinking of ordering it at a boutique close to me for my convenience. Is that messed up?

Righto, throwaway cause my friends know my actual account. So for the past month and a half I've started dating my best friend of 3 years, after realising I liked her. This realisation came at the same time that her frequent problems with her boyfriend of 2 years came to a head. Our mutual friend and I (not for any selfish reasons, I genuinely did want her out of an emotionally abusive relationship) convinced her to break up with him. That was about 2 months ago. A week after that I told her I liked her and apparently she reciprocated my feelings, and had for the past 2 years apparently. Now, this was great! We had our first kiss about a week after that, but decided to keep it under wraps because our group of friends included her ex-bf, so it'd look bad on both of us if started dating a week after their breakup. Things were moving quite fast and sexual contact was made before the end of the first week. We went to a party together, got drunk and ended up kissing in front of everyone, which people actually seemed quite happy about. I think people kind of expected it after 3 years of very close friendship. However, this meant her ex-bf found out. He was apparently mad at first, but we said we wouldn't do anything about it, and he calmed down. This was just a lie, odds are we were gonna continue things in secret. Anyway, we had sex for the first time at the end of last week, after we both made sure we were fine with it and everything seemed fine. I texted her the next day and she didn't reply, but I didn't really care., she's a big girl, she can handle herself. The next day I texted her again, twice and she only replied the second time. Apparently she got quite upset, thinking I was only using her (that's not true at all, I genuinely do like her, plus I love her as a friend as well) and talked to her ex about it, when they ended up kissing. I was very mad at first, but more disappointed. Now, my brother is completely whipped for his gf, who's cheated on him at least three times, so I didn't want to become like that. I told her that and that I don't think I should stay with her, for that reason. She seemed to agree with me (not a lot of people like my bro's gf) but was still very upset about it. Now, I'm conflicted as to what I should do. I still like her and I want to get with her again. I genuinely do believe that it was a mistake in a vulnerable moment, but I think there'll always be a lingering doubt in the back of my mind if I do get back with her. What do you think I should do?

My best friend who I've just gotten into a relationship with (roughly a month and a half ago) kissed her ex-bf and I'm wondering whether I should just ignore it and move on, or break up with her.

First let me tell you something about who i am. I am Frederik Pedersen, a 19 year old danish boy, if you can call it that, living in Denmark. Today i visited something called "Landsskuet" which is roughly translated to: "Country show" It's a congress, or convention rather where you show off agro culture, such as tractors, barn install ments and other agro cultural things like eating animals as well as cats, dogs and bunnies etc. So there i was, petting a beautiful lamb, looking into it's big sheepy eyes, as i realized: This animal is going to be murdered... When this convention is over, he is going to be slaughtered, like his brothers and sisters, like his parents. Just so some fat guy can get meal on the table. I'm not going to lie, at that very moment i wanted to die. I felt disgusted about what we do to animals. I hated myself and what the human specie have become. At that moment i saw, that we truly are the most evil and disgusting creatures of all. I mean, studies show that things like wheat, rice etc. gives more product, it can FEED more people than meat can. Yet we continue to eat it. And if we look at the psychological aspect, what man can live with himself, as he looks into a calf's eyes, seeing a slight tear, as the cow shivers, because it knows its fate. What man can go to sleep at night knowing, that that day, he killed an innocent animal. Think about your dogs, or cats. Think about their lovely eyes and their smile. Now imagine you eating them, cutting their throats. Them in poor conditions where they are breed to get offspring so you can cut their throats as well. I myself am NO way a vegetarian. I hate to admit it after this experience, but i do eat meat. As it happens i am too picky to not eat it. But if i could, i would eat plants for the rest of my life, rather than murdering an animal. Yes, i am THAT big of a baby. I have that much empathy. I know people hate it when someone says this, but if you agree, or atleast see some side of this to be true, give me an upvote, so i can see that atleast someone feels the same, so i can see that atleast someone else has some sort of empathy.. If not, humanity is truly doomed and gone to the dogs.

We murder animals, even though vegetation give more product and feed more people. Imagine your best friend, your pet, now imagine cutting his throat so you can eat him.

Met a really nice girl but she tells me she already has boyfriend when I ask her out. She says that had she met me sooner or before she would have gone out with me and that we would have been a great couple. She says that it's just unlucky that we didn't meet each other sooner. I'm totally confused right now. How am I supposed to react to this? What am I supposed to do? Wait in hope that she might break up one day or force myself in and make her leave boyfriend. I wish she had rejected me right out, why did she have to tell me those things. Why can't things just go right for me once. I guess time and the universe is really against me.

met girl who says she has boyfriend, tells me if we'd met sooner she would have gone out with me and been perfect for each other. What am I supposed to do now? Should I pursue her?

Mate/Buddy = friend. Right? Take for example, "Hey, buddy... what's up?" Seems innocent enough. But it could be condescending if used in the wrong context. Personally, I find it condescending most of the time, like it's some subconscious form of establishing dominance. "Who do you actually call buddy?" Children. Randoms. Dogs. Not your boss or your real friends. So when someone calls me "buddy," it feels like they're vocalizing (subconscious or not) their dominance in the situation. I think "mate" works the same way on this level. Guy: Hey buddy, can I get by you real quick." Me: (thinking) Fuck you. How about, "Fuck you, buddy!" Everyone who's ever walked into any bar has heard this. "Hey, fuck you buddy! You spilled my beer!" I know in Sydney I heard many drunken bloaks yelling, "Hey, fuck you mate! You double-parked your kangaroo!" This is an interesting one because it's explicitly condescending. Yet the context is so obvious. I've never heard anyone say, "Hey, fuck you friend! You spilled my beer!" It's not quite the same here. What about, "Meet Ian, this is my best mate?" Fair enough. Americans (typically) would never say, "This is my best buddy." You'll more often here, "Hey, meet Jack, this is my best friend." Obviously, none of this is going to be lost in translation, but it's just interesting to see how these two words diverged. In this example "mate" doesn't really translate to buddy, but instead to "friend."

Mate" I think has many more contexts than "buddy" (or even dude for that matter). I've definitely heard it used more and in different ways than another colloquial term I can think of. Any Aussie/Brit care to comment?

I'm 23. I've moved around a few times during and after college, but I have lived in the same city for 2 years now. I haven't made a ton of friends here....about 10, some of those coworkers. I have a newish boyfriend. I realized this week that I put too much social pressure on myself. I used to be more outgoing. I had multiple friend groups and was always out doing something on the weekend. But I'm just not interested in seeing people in my free time anymore. I think I'm simply becoming more introverted, but part of me is wondering if I'm depressed. I'm definitely overworked. I work 40 hours a week, go to graduate school 6 hours (plus homework so....at least 10 hours) and work a part-time job from home, 10 hours. I also volunteer, go to the gym, write music, have hobbies. But I usually have time to see friends on the weekend. I just don't feel like I want to right now. I have a lot of roommates-4. So I do see people when I'm home and socialize. I have really 5 close friends at work that I eat with everyday. My closest girl friends both live in different states and countries, but we keep in touch via text every day. And I see my boyfriend almost every night (we have opposite schedules). But here I am, on a Saturday night, feeling like there's something wrong with me for not wanting to go out. I made plans to go out tonight with a new girl friend but I'm kind of dreading it. I'm an only child, so I've always needed to re-charge on my own to some degree, but I definitely have become more socially withdrawn. I keep getting these annoying thoughts that I'm "wasting my youth" but I know that if I go out I won't have a blast. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Anyone else struggle with this? How can I accept that it's okay to not always be doing something and that there's nothing wrong with taking some time alone? I know that it'll take time for me to accept it, but anyone have any tips/things that work for you when you feel a similar way?

Feel bad about not going out on the weekends, despite being pretty overextended with my life right now. Don't want to be so hard on myself.

In the summer of 2007 I took my then-girlfriend into the college-themed area of downtown(clubs, bars, hippie stuff, etc). About an hour into our visit, we visit a record shop that's on a side street. My gf is a little parched from walking around in the summers heat, so I tell her that I'll get her something to drink from the coffee shop next door. As I'm exiting the record shop, there was a rather sickly looking black man sitting on the ground. He looks up, starts talking that he really needs some water, he's homeless, all this stuff. I agree and tell him to stay where he is. I grab a drink for the girlfriend, a big glass of water for the homeless guy, and some water for myself. I walked back up the hill to where the guy was waiting. He was already thanking me numerous times, I told him to not worry, as it was the least I could do. Right as I'm handing the water to the guy, a passing car had honked its horn at a car that was poorly parked, I had guessed. I had turned to look at the noise, obviously. When I turned back around, the water was gone, and he was gone. There were no alleys for him to run down, nothing. I turned all around, looking for him, but nothing! I went back inside the record shop, handed my gf her drink, and sipped on my water, basically ignoring what had just happened. So my gf picked out a few vinyl records and was ready to head out, no prob. We exit the store to head back to my car, and I wasn't about to tell her what had happened. As we were about to cross the street, the same homeless man walks by, water in hand, smiles at me and says: "thanks, hairbrush_repairman, you did good." I never told him my name. I waited until we we were in the car before I told my gf about what had happened. I still don't really understand who that guy was and what his deal was.

I buy water for a homeless man and he basically disappears in front of me, only to reappear at a later time. He also knew my name.

Last night I found out via Facebook that my boyfriend of two-ish months passed away. I had thought it was weird that he didn't reply to any of my texts throughout the day, but he has been on a time crunched deadline, so passed it off as him being busy. We belonged to a group on Facebook that is for local people interested in firearms and shooting competitions... and last night when I got home I saw a message from one of the moderators letting everyone know that he had passed away. Our relationship has been short, but I've known him for a couple of years. He made a huge impression on me and my life, and has been the first really great relationship I've had in my adult life. Should I reach out to his family and express my condolences? We had planned on doing the "meet the family" type stuff later this month, but I haven't spoken with his mother before. Reddit I don't know what to do. I can't stop crying, and I feel so lost. I've never had anything like this happen to me or in my friend group and I'm at a loss as to what's appropriate.

I don't know what I should do in regards to his passing. Do I reach out to his family? Or just attend the funeral and keep quiet?

Spurs Grill & Saloon, Kanab, Utah. Me and my friend were drinking outside while a live country mother and daughter sang. They were awesome, especially the daughter. Suddenly a bus full of Korean tourists arrives. There's hundreds of them. Instead of serving them BBQ, the restuarant provides them all Cup of Noodle in the styrofoam. One of them proceeds to go up to the mother daughter signers, hands them their iPhone and asks them to play the song on it. It's the Korean national anthem. After that ends, the owner of the cell phone asks them to play another song. I shit you not, the song they play is Gangnam Style. All of a sudden about 20 other tourists join up in front of the singers and they all do the Gangnam style dance.

Middle of nowhere (Kanab, UT), @ a BBQ, busload of Koreans given Cup of Noodles, they ask the paid musical act to hook up their iPhone, played Gangnam Style and they danced the dance.

Not today, happened two years ago during my trip to San Diego and for reasons unknown I haven't been able to forget this. So, my SO and I went to San Diego for a short vacation. When we were there we decided to go spend a day at the San Diego zoo. When we went in we were not aware that they had Pandas there. Not having seen a Panda IRL before we were excited and decided to go. There was a giant line for the exhibit and we promptly joined the line. After about 5 mins I saw a sign that said pictures and had an arrow in the direction of the Queue. I asked the family in front of us whether this was the line to take pictures in front of the Pandas or to go see the Pandas and they said they were in line to take pictures. I think to myself, well I just want to see the Pandas, I don't care much for a picture in front of them. I still cringe thinking about what I did next. Since I don't care about my picture being taken, I excuse myself from the giant line and proceed to walk ahead. I do this and reach a point where the exhibit was, saying excuse me, just want to see the Pandas until I get there. At the time since it was hot and crowded I did not notice the death glares that I was getting. When we reached the exhibit, my SO says to me... umm... I think these people have been waiting to see the exhibit and the picture is an optional thing. There isn't a line just for the pictures as such. I turn behind and see horrible looks from people holding their kids in their arms, sweating in the hot sun all red... That's when I realize what a gigantic douchebag I've been. "Excuse me... just want to see the Pandas".. Cringe

Was a ginormous douche that in my stupor skipped a (probably) 50 min Queue consisting of parents with their kids in the hot sun so I could go see the Panda exhibit. I haven't forgiven myself in the past 2 years.

Me and my boyfriend were looking through the part of facebook that shows who you've been searching and I didn't like what I saw. He has been looking up this one particular girl he works with multiple times a week for months now. He hasn't been looking up anyone else more than once in the months I looked at. He's not close to her or anything and she never posts anything (her last post was months ago) so I'm having trouble grasping the reason he's looking her up so obsessively. He says he doesn't want to be with her or anything, that he's just more interested in her than anyone else he works with because she's quiet and mysterious. He just wants to learn more about her. This didn't make me feel better, he has people he's pretty close to that he works with and the fact that he's more interested in her than anyone else makes me uneasy. The fact that she doesn't post much makes it even weirder, he'd have seen everything there is to see the first 2 visits tops. Yet he keeps coming back. He thinks I'm being crazy, but I feel this is weird. So basically I just want to know if this is something I should be worried about or if this is normal.

My boyfriend has been looking up female coworker's facebook profile a lot for the past few months and says he's just really interested in her because she's quiet. Is this normal?

So I would like some advice to see what you guys think of my situation: I met this girl on OkCupid in early february, we went on a date, hit it off really well, hung out, made out, and had an overall good time. She doesn't really text back a lot, almost never, but we make plans for a second date and it goes even better. It seems our infatuation with each other grows with every date, we both kiss each other out of the blue/show affections towards each other, and it seems we both really enjoy each others company and at this point seem very compatible. I stayed over at her place on the second date and on the third date she stayed over at mine, but I haven't wanted to initiate sex yet for these reasons: I've talked about a relationship at one point on the second date and she said she wasn't ready because she just got out of a relationship about a month earlier (now about 2 to 3 months, I think). I got out of a long term (2-year) relationship about 7 months ago and was not ready to date 2 months after that at all, so I understand if she wants to take it slow. But I would like to make a move towards sex on the next date, see what happens. So, I think you have a solid backstory now, let me stop rambling and get to the point. Do you think I've gone about this alright? All my past relationships have moved fairly fast (I lived with last ex), and I suppose I'm not used to things moving this slow. In my past relationships we've gotten together multiple times during the week and hung out. So far this girl and I have usually seen each other about once a week (which I know isn't out of the ordinary), but I'm confused because she doesn't really initiate texts/communication for the most part between dates. I also don't want to look clingy and bombard her with texts, so it's not like I'm doing anything that pushes her away because every time we get together things have improved. Also if it helps to mention, I've met a few of her friends and she tells me about friends who she'd really like me to meet, and she's expressed interest in meeting my friends - and that makes me think that she is interested. Therefore, am I just reading in to this lack of communication too much? Is this lack of communication nothing to worry about? I feel like she would be texting me if she was interested. This girl is really cool and is making me really happy so I don't want to mess this up. Thanks for any advice, and if I left any important details out, just ask!

Girl seems even more interested in me after every date we go on, but she never really texts me. It's moving much slower than past relationships. I'm confused by this lack of communication....Am I reading in to this too much?