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'american horror story: freak show' premiere recap: it's a circus, all right (spoilers) | not sarcastic |
permission denied | not sarcastic |
dixie donates $5 million in clean drinking cups to drought-ravaged southern africa | sarcastic |
giving kimye a run for their money ... | not sarcastic |
study links drinking while pregnant to being at kid rock concert | sarcastic |
esports star suspected of using peds | sarcastic |
area woman insists on helping coworker through personal crisis | sarcastic |
bp ceo: 'we deeply regret the tragic loss of $4.5 billion' | sarcastic |
justin bieber has 3 go-to poses and they're all surprisingly amazing | not sarcastic |
russia denies it has compromising information on donald trump | not sarcastic |
my life in soaps | not sarcastic |
battle of wits with unwieldy burrito nears thrilling endgame | sarcastic |
dozens of black-rubber-clad masochists line up outside capitol for paul ryan's job | sarcastic |
as yahoo roils, martha nelson stays focused on media | not sarcastic |
environmentalists warn swedish fish population being decimated by great pacific sour patch | sarcastic |
sikh student shot dead at california home | not sarcastic |
rumsfeld equally proud of all his wars | sarcastic |
women: why don't they lose some weight? | sarcastic |
tearful biden carefully takes down blacklight poster of topless barbarian chick from office wall | sarcastic |
dog can't believe owner left on fucking msnbc to keep it company while she at work | sarcastic |
nationwide art project is making space for historic women in all 50 states | not sarcastic |
this 'magic mike xxs' parody won't fix your problems, but damn, it's funny | not sarcastic |
is the us government cooking the books? | not sarcastic |
hotel now charging patrons for looking at items in minibar | sarcastic |
when christmas isn't merry | not sarcastic |
scrabble come-on only worth four points | sarcastic |
is hillary clinton the last democratic presidential candidate to support the death penalty? | not sarcastic |
tesla's elon musk is thinking about designing an electric plane | not sarcastic |
new walgreens facebook plugin allows users to see what prescriptions friends are picking up | sarcastic |
nevada politician: getting an abortion was 'the right decision' for me | not sarcastic |
ne-yo helps to raise $2.3 million for california engineering school | not sarcastic |
spoon's weight topples pint in jarring reminder of how much ice cream area man ate in one sitting | sarcastic |
fda approves of what new drug is going for | sarcastic |
list of names on gchat sidebar like a portal into area man's past lives | sarcastic |
'there is beauty in decay,' says head of federal highway administration while surveying nation's crumbling roads | sarcastic |
fireworks accident blows off tip of florida | sarcastic |
5 ways to enjoy your engagement | not sarcastic |
transplanting marijuana: myth to mainstream america | not sarcastic |
trump calls on congress to empower agencies to oust federal workers | not sarcastic |
chinese man worried you can't have respectful debate about how amazing government is anymore | sarcastic |
paula broadwell crashing on petraeus family's couch until sex scandal blows over | sarcastic |
activists hope pope can change climate conversation in washington | not sarcastic |
what aziz ansari, and most straight men, don't get about consent. | not sarcastic |
how to find 'secret' discounted airfare | not sarcastic |
zoologists discover new fastest land animal after pumping white-tailed deer full of steroids | sarcastic |
area spoon only rinsed for past 18 months | sarcastic |
for steve bannon, money isn't everything | not sarcastic |
underserved kids learn a year's worth of math in 6 weeks, thanks to new app | not sarcastic |
5-million-car pileup kills dallas-fort worth | sarcastic |
how we should be thinking about russia's role in the election | not sarcastic |
harry styles will make his solo debut on 'saturday night live' | not sarcastic |
dwayne 'the rock' johnson saves puppy from drowning, melts our hearts in the process | not sarcastic |
hubble telescope desperately struggling to contact nasa after witnessing murder on ganymede | sarcastic |
trump 'office' parody is a glimpse at the buffoonery we have in store | not sarcastic |
dolby theatre hunchback stares longingly at beautiful guests from rafters | sarcastic |
health: how the inevitable telemedicine trend will change healthcare forever | not sarcastic |
obama: 'hillary will fight to protect my legacy, even the truly detestable parts' | sarcastic |
'it's been an honor, gentlemen,' shift supervisor says as giant vat of molten cheese erupts | sarcastic |
a lancet breakthrough: publishing about faith and health | not sarcastic |
'the president can suck my big fat dick,' says rex tillerson in veiled attack on trump | sarcastic |
judge compares trans student's case to america's greatest civil rights battles | not sarcastic |
samsung just unveiled its thinnest phone ever | not sarcastic |
new report finds u.s. employees most engaged at workplace while working as frontman of styx | sarcastic |
earth's successful completion of orbit around sun inspires woman to reflect on eating habits | sarcastic |
lazy wildlife rescuer lets oily pelicans pile up in sink for 5 days | sarcastic |
bernie sanders is closer than ever to catching up with hillary clinton | not sarcastic |
nader supporters blame electoral defeat on bush, kerry | sarcastic |
overcoming adversity, a step at a time | not sarcastic |
new study confirms sharks just really angry dolphins | sarcastic |
turn your scraps of summer fruit into the most gorgeous ice cubes | not sarcastic |
8-year-old spreads love in the classroom with braille valentines | not sarcastic |
'snl' stars have the perfect comeback to trump's angry tweets | not sarcastic |
the magical dolphins of slovenia | not sarcastic |
sessions: 'i am proud to have served white america' | sarcastic |
arsenio hall writers still keeping in touch | sarcastic |
martin shkreli wants to be the only one to own kanye's new album | not sarcastic |
coworker obsessively checks e-mail every couple of minutes | sarcastic |
senior pretty checked out during entire final year | sarcastic |
skydivers perfectly land slip 'n slide from 5,000 feet | not sarcastic |
quest for affordable housing drives people away from the coasts | not sarcastic |
another white house iftar, another ramadan without my brother | not sarcastic |
'little boy' stands tall | not sarcastic |
the 'love actually' mini-sequel won't include alan rickman or emma thompson | not sarcastic |
new mom self-conscious about scar where baby punched its way out of stomach | sarcastic |
man who jumped motorcycle onto hijacked bullet train never thought he'd see stories like his being told by hollywood | sarcastic |
establishment-backed moderate wins heated democratic house primary in texas | not sarcastic |
nyc mayor: 'reconcile yourselves with your god, for all will perish in the tempest' | sarcastic |
historical archives: a brief "bring-you-up-to-date" | sarcastic |
pregame foolishly squandered on actually planning out evening | sarcastic |
elizabeth warren's pick wins ohio's democratic gubernatorial primary | not sarcastic |
child subjected to elaborate hairdo | sarcastic |
safety-conscious senior locks screen door | sarcastic |
skip bayless's tweet about gordon hayward's injury stirs outrage | not sarcastic |
lindsey graham vows to uphold john mccain's legacy by blindly supporting gop agenda after grumbling for a few minutes | sarcastic |
lockheed martin engineer told to make it sear faces off faster | sarcastic |
photo of crying father a lasting symbol of economic struggle if there ever was one | sarcastic |
washington's hobby lobby lobbies to strengthen hobbies | sarcastic |
roommate never seems to leave apartment | sarcastic |
julianne moore stuns in custom chanel | not sarcastic |
this great song, bar sources report | sarcastic |