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and as you noticed , i already know who you are , and i know how you are connected to my sister . '' `` i guess that makes us brothers . '' jonah braced his feet , shocked that eloisa would have revealed their marriage to anyone , but she said she did n't talk to her family , only communicated through a lawyer . how had this guy found out ? and was he even who he claimed to be ? this joker was n't getting past him . `` how about you leave a calling card ? '' `` i like it that she has you to protect her . '' that threw him off-balance for a second . the last thing he 'd expected was acceptance , encouragement even . except he knew better than to be swayed by calculated words . `` what did you say you 're doing here ? '' `` i 've come to see eloisa for our father . and you 're wise not to trust me . that 's best for her . '' while they may have found a point of agreement , that did n't mean jonah intended to back off pushing for whatever he could get out of duarte . `` where does your father live ? '' `` ah , you 're tricky , not ever saying the last name either , never giving anything away . your questions and answers are as nebulous as my own . '' he gestured toward the french doors . less chance of being overheard . '' until i hear from eloisa that you 're welcome , we can stay right here . '' duarte glanced around at the small fenced-in patio , vines growing up the wood , a small fountain in the corner with a cement conch shell pouring water into a collection pool . and only one chair . duarte nodded regally . `` we will stand here , then , until she returns . '' jonah leaned on the doorframe with affected nonchalance , every muscle still on high alert as he watched the man for any signs of aggression or deception . `` so step out on a limb and spill your guts for me . '' the strange guy threw his head back and laughed . finally , he shook his head and quieted . `` i travel everywhere . but our father ? he can no longer travel anywhere because of his health , and he wants to see his children . you do n't have to confirm anything i say . i do n't expect you to . '' `` dude , i 'm thinking it 's time to call the cops and arrest you for trespassing . '' `` i could give you all sorts of identification , but you know that ids can be purchased . instead i will tell you a story about the last visit eloisa made to see her biological family when she was seven-i was seventeen . we all went on a picnic , then walked down the beach . we collected shells . then eloisa rode on our father 's shoulders while he told her a story about a princess squirrel who could travel anywhere she wanted , anytime . '' this guy could really be ... `` then he sang her songs in spanish . does that answer your questions ? '' `` you 've definitely captured my interest enough to delay calling the cops . '' he might not know everything about eloisa , but he was certain she would blow a gasket if her family news was splashed all over a police blotter where any newspaper could snatch the scoop . he slid a finger along his shirt collar , the first sign that he felt the heat or any tension . `` i 'm not only here because eloisa called the lawyer . i am also here because our father is sick . '' `` your dad , the guy who sings lullabies in spanish ? how sick is he ? '' `` i am not the kind to predict worst-case scenarios . let 's just say he 's very ill. a visit is in order before the opportunity is lost forever . '' how would eloisa take hearing enrique medina could die ... or was already dead and she 'd missed seeing him ? he 'd encouraged her to make contact with the old king if for no other reason that to settle the past , and now the clock was ticking . if this man could help persuade her , all the better . and with jonah by her side , nobody would stand a chance at hurting her ever again . in fact , there should be some apologizing and amends for needing such a dire prod to make this offer . `` even if i might think it 's in her personal best interest to see him , why should eloisa-or any woman-visit a family you say she has n't seen since she was seven ? if that 's all true , perhaps they should have tried harder to contact eloisa more often over the years . '' the silence stretched between them , birds chirping , cars roaring and honking in the distance , even the ocean echoed distantly . no disagreement ? '' `` why would i argue when you 're absolutely right ? that does n't mean eloisa could live with doing the wrong thing now . '' jonah checked his watch . where the hell was eloisa ? | [["notice", 18], ["noticed", 18], ["already", 30], ["know", 35], ["knowest", 35], ["sister", 95], ["guess", 111], ["brother", 134], ["brethren", 134], ["brothers", 134], ["jonah", 145], ["brace", 152], ["braced", 152], ["foot", 161], ["feet", 161], ["shock", 171], ["shocked", 171], ["reveal", 203], ["revealed", 203], ["marriage", 218], ["anyone", 228], ["say", 243], ["sayest", 243], ["said", 243], ["talk", 260], ["family", 274], ["communicate", 294], ["communicates", 294], ["communicated", 294], ["lawyer", 311], ["guy", 330], ["find", 336], ["found", 336], ["even", 358], ["evens", 358], ["claim", 373], ["claimed", 373], ["joker", 392], ["jokers", 392], ["get", 408], ["getting", 408], ["past", 413], ["left", 442], ["leave", 442], ["call", 452], ["calling", 452], ["card", 457], ["like", 472], ["protect", 503], ["protectest", 503], ["throw", 523], ["threw", 523], ["balance", 539], ["second", 552], ["seconded", 552], ["last", 563], 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`` look , lily , i have to be in haddonfield in thirty minutes to meet with the carpenters , '' he told her . `` can i leave the twins with you for the afternoon ? schuyler and caroline and the baby have already left to go visit chloe at juilliard . and do n't forget-the new york symphony is performing her piece at the met this weekend . i want to be out of philadelphia early friday morning to be sure we get there in time . '' lily nodded as she gazed down with undisguised and unadulterated love at the tiny boy nestled to her breast . let marvin take julia for a few minutes . he 's great with her . '' leo surrendered his daughter to charlton heston man , who cuddled the little baby in his arms and , in that voice of god , stated quite adamantly , `` cootchie . cootchie . coo . '' said thesaurus man beside him . well-favored . bonny . '' `` just like her mother , '' leo agreed , adding to himself , strong , commanding , smart . yeah , things had worked out pretty well , all things said and done , he thought . he moved to stand behind lily , ostensibly to give her a quick kiss goodbye . but as he leaned forward , he could n't help whispering a few choice , and very erotic , promises into her ear . she chuckled low as she nodded and murmured a single word in response . so leo brushed his lips over her cheek one final time , and bid her a very reluctant goodbye . and as he left the boardroom , he heard the newest board member , the one who 'd begun working just this week , scarf woman , ask , `` so that was lily 's mr. rigby , huh ? he halted just outside the door , to see what the response would be . `` no , no , '' he heard silk woman pipe up , her voice laced with good humor . `` that was her man friday . '' smiling to himself as he headed out , leo conceded that that was certainly true . one all violet tandy had ever wanted out of life was a place to call home . a home of her own , not a foster home like the myriad ones where she grew up . the kind of home people had in old movies , with white clapboard and black shutters and full-grown sugar maples canopying the front yard . and a picket fence . had to have a picket fence . and a broad front porch with a wicker swing where she could reread all the books she 'd loved as a child-jane eyre and judy blume , lassie come home and louisa may alcott . only she 'd own the books and not have to return them to the library every week . roses and lilac bushes would grow lush and fragrant around the perimeter of her house , morning glory would zigzag up the chimney and wisteria would drip from the eaves of the back porch . she would crochet wispy sweaters and bake cheerful pastries to support herself . she would live and let live and be content with her solitary existence . and she would never , ever harm another living soul . yep , a tranquil , unsullied life in a comfy , uncluttered cottage all to herself was the only thing violet tandy had ever wanted . which was why she wrote a memoir about being a high-priced , high-society call girl . not that violet had ever actually been a call girl , high-priced , high-society or otherwise . and not that her memoir was actually a memoir-it was a novel written to read like one , a trend she had noticed was becoming more and more popular with readers these days , herself included . gracie ledbetter , her editor at rockcastle books , had been so swept away by the story , that when she called violet to make an offer on the book , she had admitted that if she did n't know better , she would have thought violet actually was a call girl , and that her novel-and that was how gracie had said it , as if she were italicizing it-was actually a novelization-again with the italics-of her real life experiences . in fact , now that violet thought about it , gracie continued to do that-speak of the novel in italics , as if she 'd never quite been convinced that the book was complete fiction . even now , a year after violet had signed the contract on the completed manuscript and a few weeks after the book 's debut , gracie still asked things like , `` does the princess suite at the chicago ambassador hotel really make you feel like a princess when you 're lying on the bed staring up at the castle mural on the ceiling ? '' well , how would violet know ? the only reason she 'd even seen the princess suite at the ambassador was because she 'd worked there as a housekeeper and had changed the sheets on the bed . | [["look", 7], ["lily", 14], ["thirty", 54], ["minute", 62], ["minutes", 62], ["meet", 70], ["meeted", 70], ["carpenter", 90], ["carpentering", 90], ["carpenters", 90], ["tell", 103], ["told", 103], ["left", 124], ["leave", 124], ["twin", 134], ["twins", 134], ["afternoon", 161], ["schuyler", 172], ["caroline", 185], ["baby", 198], ["already", 211], ["left", 216], ["leave", 216], ["go", 222], ["goest", 222], ["visit", 228], ["chloe", 234], ["forget", 267], ["forgot", 267], ["new", 275], ["york", 280], ["yorks", 280], ["symphony", 289], ["perform", 303], ["performest", 303], ["performing", 303], ["piece", 313], ["pieced", 313], ["met", 324], ["mets", 324], ["weekend", 337], ["philadelphia", 372], ["early", 378], ["friday", 385], ["morning", 393], ["sure", 404], ["get", 411], ["time", 425], 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4050], ["still", 4065], ["ask", 4071], ["asked", 4071], ["princess", 4106], ["suite", 4112], ["chicago", 4127], ["ambassador", 4138], ["hotel", 4144], ["really", 4151], ["feel", 4165], ["lay", 4200], ["lie", 4200], ["lain", 4200], ["lying", 4200], ["bed", 4211], ["stare", 4219], ["stared", 4219], ["staring", 4219], ["castle", 4236], ["castles", 4236], ["mural", 4242], ["ceiling", 4257], ["reason", 4309], ["reasonest", 4309], ["see", 4326], ["seen", 4326], ["housekeeper", 4412], ["change", 4428], ["changed", 4428], ["sheet", 4439], ["sheets", 4439]] |
nika turned toward the sound and saw madoc with his back to a blunt rock outcropping . in front of him were half a dozen sgath , only they were bigger than any of the ones she 'd seen before . their sharklike teeth were bared , and glowing yellow saliva dripped from their jaws . `` god , no , '' she breathed . asked nicholas , the word tight with panic . nika had forgotten she held the phone until she heard his voice . she dropped the phone , dug under the seat for andra 's shotgun , grabbed a handful of extra shells , and ran toward madoc , screaming to get the monsters ' attention . madoc heard nika 's war cry and saw her racing across the snowy ground . her white hair flew out behind her as she leaped over a fallen tree . the woman was going to get herself killed before he could do a thing to stop it . he had to get between her and them before she got too close . rage poured through him , giving him strength and speed . three of the sgath had turned to look at her . he plunged his sword into the back of the skull of the closest one , pushed himself over its body , and jerked the sword from its twitching carcass from the far side . two of the beasts abandoned him and lunged toward her . she stopped , skidding over the ground , leveled the shotgun , and fired . her eyes squeezed shut and her body jerked with the force of the weapon , but her shot had hit one of the sgath , knocking it into the next . they went down in a pile of claws and teeth , fighting each other for a few precious seconds . madoc jumped toward them , slicing through the air as he landed . this sword 's balance was different from the one he 'd used for centuries , and because of that , his aim was off by a fraction . rather than lopping off the head , he missed and his sword lodged in one of the sgath 's shoulders . the thing turned on him , baring its teeth . madoc kicked it in the head with his boot , stunning it . he heard nika scream his name in terror . his gaze went toward her , unable to go anywhere else in the face of a scream like that . he saw her point at something behind him ; then her body crumpled to the ground like a puppeteer had cut her strings . madoc bellowed and headed for her , needing to catch her before she hit the ground even though he knew it was a futile attempt before he 'd even started moving . he felt something tug on the back of his leather jacket ; then a cold blast of wind hit his back as claws barely missed his skin . madoc turned toward the sgath , his sword lifted to defend against another attack . the sgath that had slashed his jacket to pieces was in the process of clawing at him again , only now that the blade was in the way , it ended up severing its own paw . behind that one , there were still four more coming for him . only one of them was injured . those were n't good odds on the best of nights , but tonight , with nika lying helpless only a few feet away and madoc fighting with an unfamiliar sword , the odds were f**king grim . instincts embedded in his dna demanded that he protect her . he 'd come here tonight to die , knowing that the sgath left alive were strong , smart , and fast . a six-on-one fight was a lost cause waiting to happen . if he took out half of them before he died , he 'd be lucky . nika was at stake now , and that changed everything . madoc bellowed , rushing the closest sgath , forcing it back with a series of fast , short jabs from his sword . none of the strikes hit , but they moved the f**ker back enough that he was n't going to be trampling nika with his booted feet . the injured sgath was busy licking up a puddle of its own blood , which would heal it , but there was nothing madoc could do about that . he 'd kill it when he could . there were four more to deal with right now . two of them moved out to his sides to flank him while the one in his face kept his attention . he saw them moving , knew what they were doing , but there was n't a thing he could do to stop them until the odds were more in his favor . madoc swiped at the one nearest , angling to his left . the one on his right let out a deep hissing kind of growl , and the others ' ears twitched as if listening . then , as if they 'd choreographed it , all four of them charged at once . madoc fell back . one of them got in a hit on his arm . its claws cut through his leather jacket and raked over his skin . | [["turn", 11], ["turned", 11], ["toward", 18], ["sound", 28], ["see", 36], ["saw", 36], ["back", 56], ["blunt", 67], ["blunted", 67], ["blunting", 67], ["rock", 72], ["outcropping", 84], ["front", 95], ["half", 112], ["dozen", 120], ["big", 150], ["bigs", 150], ["bigger", 150], ["see", 183], ["seen", 183], ["sharklike", 208], ["tooth", 214], ["teeth", 214], ["bare", 225], ["bared", 225], ["glow", 239], ["glowest", 239], ["glowing", 239], ["yellow", 246], ["saliva", 253], ["drip", 261], ["dripped", 261], ["jaw", 277], ["jaws", 277], ["jawed", 277], ["jawest", 277], ["god", 286], ["breathe", 309], ["breathes", 309], ["breathed", 309], ["ask", 317], ["asked", 317], ["word", 337], ["tight", 343], ["panic", 354], ["forget", 375], ["forgot", 375], ["forgotten", 375], ["hold", 384], ["held", 384], ["phone", 394], ["hear", 410], ["hears", 410], ["heard", 410], ["voice", 420], ["drop", 434], ["dropped", 434], ["dug", 450], ["dig", 450], ["digs", 450], ["digest", 450], ["seat", 465], ["shotgun", 486], ["grab", 496], ["grabbed", 496], ["handful", 506], ["handfuls", 506], ["extra", 515], ["extras", 515], ["shell", 522], ["shells", 522], ["run", 532], ["ran", 532], ["scream", 557], ["screams", 557], ["screaming", 557], ["get", 564], ["monster", 577], ["monsters", 577], ["attention", 589], ["war", 615], ["cry", 619], ["across", 645], ["snowy", 655], ["ground", 662], ["white", 674], ["hair", 679], ["fly", 684], ["flys", 684], ["flew", 684], ["behind", 695], ["leap", 713], ["leaps", 713], ["leaping", 713], ["leaped", 713], ["fall", 727], ["falls", 727], ["fallen", 727], ["tree", 732], ["treed", 732], ["treeing", 732], ["woman", 744], ["womans", 744], ["go", 754], ["goest", 754], ["going", 754], ["kill", 776], ["killed", 776], ["thing", 803], ["stop", 811], ["get", 866], ["got", 866], ["close", 876], ["rage", 883], ["pour", 890], ["poured", 890], ["give", 911], ["giving", 911], ["strength", 924], ["speed", 934], ["speeding", 934], ["three", 942], ["look", 974], ["plunge", 994], ["plunged", 994], ["sword", 1004], ["skull", 1031], ["close", 1046], ["closest", 1046], ["push", 1059], ["pushed", 1059], ["body", 1081], ["bodied", 1081], ["jerk", 1094], ["jerks", 1094], ["jerked", 1094], ["twitching", 1123], ["carcass", 1131], ["far", 1144], ["side", 1149], ["sidest", 1149], ["two", 1155], ["twos", 1155], ["beast", 1169], ["beasts", 1169], ["abandon", 1179], ["abandoned", 1179], ["lunge", 1194], ["lunges", 1194], ["stop", 1219], ["stopped", 1219], ["skid", 1230], ["skidding", 1230], ["level", 1256], ["leveled", 1256], ["fire", 1280], ["fired", 1280], ["eye", 1291], ["eyed", 1291], ["eyes", 1291], ["squeeze", 1300], ["squeezes", 1300], ["squeezed", 1300], ["shut", 1305], ["force", 1340], ["weapon", 1354], ["shot", 1369], ["hit", 1377], ["knock", 1405], ["knocks", 1405], ["knockest", 1405], ["knocking", 1405], ["next", 1422], ["go", 1434], ["goest", 1434], ["went", 1434], ["pile", 1449], ["claws", 1458], ["fight", 1479], ["fighting", 1479], ["fightest", 1479], ["precious", 1509], ["second", 1517], ["seconded", 1517], ["seconds", 1517], ["jump", 1532], ["jumps", 1532], ["jumped", 1532], ["slice", 1554], ["slicing", 1554], ["air", 1570], ["airs", 1570], ["airing", 1570], ["land", 1583], ["landed", 1583], ["balance", 1607], ["different", 1621], ["use", 1645], ["used", 1645], ["century", 1659], ["centuries", 1659], ["aim", 1691], ["aimest", 1691], ["fraction", 1713], ["rather", 1722], ["lop", 1735], ["lopped", 1735], ["lopping", 1735], ["head", 1748], ["miss", 1760], ["missed", 1760], ["lodge", 1781], ["lodged", 1781], ["shoulder", 1814], ["shouldered", 1814], ["shoulders", 1814], ["bare", 1849], ["baring", 1849], ["kick", 1874], ["kicked", 1874], ["boot", 1903], ["stun", 1914], ["stuns", 1914], ["stunned", 1914], ["scream", 1940], ["screams", 1940], ["name", 1949], ["terror", 1959], ["terrors", 1959], ["gaze", 1970], ["gazes", 1970], ["unable", 1995], ["unabled", 1995], ["go", 2001], ["goest", 2001], ["anywhere", 2010], ["else", 2015], ["face", 2027], ["like", 2044], ["point", 2068], ["crumple", 2117], ["crumpled", 2117], ["puppeteer", 2148], ["cut", 2156], ["strung", 2168], ["string", 2168], ["strings", 2168], ["bellow", 2185], ["bellowing", 2185], ["bellowed", 2185], ["head", 2196], ["headed", 2196], ["need", 2214], ["needest", 2214], ["needing", 2214], ["catch", 2223], ["catches", 2223], ["catched", 2223], ["even", 2258], ["evens", 2258], ["though", 2265], ["know", 2273], ["knowest", 2273], ["knew", 2273], ["futile", 2289], ["attempt", 2297], ["start", 2323], ["started", 2323], ["move", 2330], ["moving", 2330], ["feel", 2340], ["felt", 2340], ["tug", 2354], ["tugging", 2354], ["leather", 2381], ["jacket", 2388], ["jacketed", 2388], ["cold", 2402], ["blast", 2408], ["wind", 2416], ["barely", 2445], ["skin", 2461], ["lift", 2512], ["lifted", 2512], ["defend", 2522], ["another", 2538], ["attack", 2545], ["slash", 2574], ["slashed", 2574], ["piece", 2595], ["pieced", 2595], ["pieces", 2595], ["process", 2614], ["claw", 2625], ["blade", 2664], ["way", 2679], ["ways", 2679], ["end", 2690], ["ends", 2690], ["endest", 2690], ["ended", 2690], ["sever", 2702], ["severing", 2702], ["paw", 2714], ["pawest", 2714], ["still", 2751], ["four", 2756], ["come", 2768], ["coming", 2768], ["injure", 2807], ["injures", 2807], ["injured", 2807], ["good", 2829], ["odd", 2834], ["odds", 2834], ["good", 2846], ["best", 2846], ["night", 2856], ["nights", 2856], ["tonight", 2870], ["lay", 2888], ["lie", 2888], ["lain", 2888], ["lying", 2888], ["helpless", 2897], ["foot", 2913], ["feet", 2913], ["away", 2918], ["unfamiliar", 2956], ["grim", 2991], ["grims", 2991], ["instinct", 3003], ["instincts", 3003], ["embed", 3012], ["embedded", 3012], ["dna", 3023], ["demand", 3032], ["demandest", 3032], ["demanded", 3032], ["protect", 3048], ["protectest", 3048], ["come", 3065], ["die", 3085], ["know", 3095], ["knowest", 3095], ["knowing", 3095], ["left", 3115], ["leave", 3115], ["alive", 3121], ["strong", 3133], ["smart", 3141], ["fast", 3152], ["six", 3160], ["fight", 3173], ["fightest", 3173], ["lost", 3184], ["cause", 3190], ["wait", 3198], ["waitest", 3198], ["waiting", 3198], ["happen", 3208], ["take", 3221], ["took", 3221], ["die", 3253], ["died", 3253], ["lucky", 3270], ["stake", 3290], ["change", 3313], ["changed", 3313], ["everything", 3324], ["rush", 3351], ["rushing", 3351], ["force", 3379], ["forcing", 3379], ["series", 3401], ["short", 3417], ["jab", 3422], ["jabs", 3422], ["none", 3444], ["strike", 3459], ["strikes", 3459], ["move", 3480], ["moved", 3480], ["enough", 3503], ["trample", 3541], ["tramples", 3541], ["trampling", 3541], ["boot", 3562], ["booted", 3562], ["busy", 3596], ["busied", 3596], ["lick", 3604], ["licking", 3604], ["puddle", 3616], ["blood", 3633], ["bloods", 3633], ["blooded", 3633], ["heal", 3652], ["healest", 3652], ["nothing", 3679], ["kill", 3718], ["deal", 3766], ["right", 3777], ["rightest", 3777], ["side", 3818], ["sidest", 3818], ["sides", 3818], ["flank", 3827], ["keep", 3862], ["keepest", 3862], ["kept", 3862], ["favor", 4016], ["favorest", 4016], ["swipe", 4031], ["near", 4050], ["nearest", 4050], ["angle", 4060], ["angling", 4060], ["let", 4099], ["lets", 4099], ["deep", 4110], ["deeply", 4110], ["hiss", 4118], ["hissing", 4118], ["kind", 4123], ["growl", 4132], ["growls", 4132], ["ear", 4156], ["ears", 4156], ["twitch", 4165], ["twitching", 4165], ["twitchest", 4165], ["twitched", 4165], ["listening", 4181], ["choreograph", 4218], ["choreographs", 4218], ["choreographed", 4218], ["charge", 4248], ["charged", 4248], ["fall", 4269], ["falls", 4269], ["fell", 4269], ["arm", 4312], ["rake", 4365], ["raking", 4365], ["raked", 4365]] |
luanne hurried the final few yards until she reached the porch steps , where she plopped down and took off her backpack . `` because i have my interview all structured and i 'd be devastated if you were n't up to it '' `` interview ? '' zoe sat down on the steps next to luanne . to flunk she could have a daughter this age if she 'd gotten married right out of high school , as margo had planned to . but margo was n't married and neither was zoe . from what margo had said , they were the exceptions in the class of '91 . until recently , that had seemed about right , to be footloose and fancy-free . but she was enjoying having luanne around . she did n't see all that many kids these days . being a mother might not be such a bad thing . flynn walked over to the steps . `` luanne , did you ever find out what your brother was doing last night when he was supposed to be out with janice ? '' luanne unzipped her backpack . it 's been a while since i searched his room . i need to do that tonight '' zoe , who had never had a sister or brother , was scandalized . `` you search his room ? `` big brothers have no privacy , '' luanne said . `` she 's right '' flynn said . `` my little sister knew everything there was to know about me . so , luanne , if you find out anything interesting , i 'd like to hear about it . '' luanne pulled a thick white binder out of her backpack . this contains all the information i 've collected on my favorite actors . '' she sounded like a college professor unveiling a thesis . sure enough , on the three-ring binder cover luanne dunwoodie 's big book of most excellent actors was written in elaborate red calligraphy . luanne flipped the binder open to the tide page , where hollywood 's best by luanne dunwoodie was lettered in purple script . luanne smoothed her hand over the title page . `` i could n't decide which title was better , so i used them both . which do you guys think is better ? '' flynn sat down on the other side of luanne and examined the binder . `` are you putting only actors in there , or both actors and movies ? '' `` just actors . i have another binder for movies . '' `` then i like the front cover title best , because it fits the subject better , '' flynn said . i ca n't believe i did n't see that . '' luanne ripped the title page out of the binder . `` luanne ! '' zoe was horrified . `` all that beautiful lettering ! '' she crumpled the page and stuffed it in her backpack . `` i can do that stuff in my sleep . zoe exchanged a smile with flynn over lu-anne 's head . it was a nice moment ; one could even say a parental moment . `` i 've divided the notebook into sections , '' luanne said . `` first by female and male actors , and then each actor has several different categories of information . '' zoe gazed in wonder at the rows of colored tabs . she 'd never been that exacting about anything ... ever . flynn nodded in approval . on the other hand , zoe thought , flynn was very exacting , especially about the things that interested him , like studio contracts and bigfoot and ... well ... the color of her eyes . every time she thought of that description she wanted to kiss him some more . but luanne was sitting between them at the moment , which was probably for the best . `` i 've put the female actors in the front , '' luanne said . `` and that 's 'cause frankly , they get a raw deal most of the time in hollywood . take sean connery , for instance . name me one woman of his age who gets the romantic lead ! zoe leaned her chin on her fist . `` i mean , zoe tarleton is already thirty-two . she 's getting up there . '' zoe sat up straighter . `` be realistic ! how many years does she have left as a big box-office draw ? four , five , six years ? '' luanne cast an assessing glance over zoe . `` you 'd better rake in the money as her body double now , before she 's all washed up . '' `` zoe will last longer than another six years , '' flynn said . `` for one thing , she does n't look her age . '' feeling tons better , zoe winked at him . `` that may not be enough . '' luanne shook her head slowly . she wore an eyesore expression of doom . `` nobody looks their age in hollywood . it 's a tough town . '' zoe bit her lip to keep from laughing at luanne 's worldly attitude . `` do n't get me wrong , '' luanne said . | [["hurry", 14], ["hurried", 14], ["hurryed", 14], ["hurrying", 14], ["final", 24], ["yard", 34], ["yards", 34], ["reach", 52], ["reached", 52], ["porch", 62], ["step", 68], ["steps", 68], ["plop", 88], ["plopped", 88], ["take", 102], ["took", 102], ["backpack", 119], ["backpacking", 119], ["interview", 152], ["structure", 167], ["structuring", 167], ["structured", 167], ["devastate", 190], ["devastated", 190], ["zoe", 240], ["sat", 244], ["sit", 244], ["next", 267], ["flunk", 288], ["flunks", 288], ["flunked", 288], ["daughter", 314], ["age", 323], ["aged", 323], ["get", 340], ["gotten", 340], ["marry", 348], ["married", 348], ["right", 354], ["rightest", 354], ["high", 366], ["school", 373], ["schooling", 373], ["margo", 384], ["plan", 396], ["planned", 396], ["neither", 439], ["say", 474], ["sayest", 474], ["said", 474], ["exception", 501], ["exceptions", 501], ["class", 514], ["classing", 514], ["classest", 514], ["recently", 538], ["seem", 556], ["seeming", 556], ["seemed", 556], ["footloose", 586], ["fancy", 596], ["fanciest", 596], ["free", 601], ["enjoy", 624], ["enjoyed", 624], ["enjoying", 624], ["around", 645], ["see", 663], ["many", 677], ["kid", 682], ["kids", 682], ["day", 693], ["days", 693], ["mother", 710], ["mothered", 710], ["motherest", 710], ["may", 716], ["mays", 716], ["mayest", 716], ["might", 716], ["bad", 734], ["thing", 740], ["walk", 755], ["walked", 755], ["ever", 800], ["everest", 800], ["find", 805], ["brother", 827], ["brethren", 827], ["last", 842], ["night", 848], ["suppose", 869], ["supposed", 869], ["janice", 891], ["unzip", 912], ["unzips", 912], ["unzipped", 912], ["since", 952], ["search", 963], ["searched", 963], ["room", 972], ["roomed", 972], ["need", 981], ["needest", 981], ["tonight", 1000], ["never", 1023], ["sister", 1036], ["scandalize", 1065], ["scandalizes", 1065], ["scandalized", 1065], ["search", 1081], ["big", 1099], ["bigs", 1099], ["brother", 1108], ["brethren", 1108], ["brothers", 1108], ["privacy", 1124], ["little", 1188], ["know", 1200], ["knowest", 1200], ["knew", 1200], ["everything", 1211], ["know", 1229], ["knowest", 1229], ["anything", 1279], ["interesting", 1291], ["like", 1303], ["hear", 1311], ["hears", 1311], ["pull", 1339], ["pulled", 1339], ["thick", 1347], ["thickest", 1347], ["white", 1353], ["binder", 1360], ["contain", 1396], ["containest", 1396], ["contains", 1396], ["information", 1416], ["collect", 1432], ["collected", 1432], ["favorite", 1447], ["favoritest", 1447], ["actor", 1454], ["actors", 1454], ["sound", 1471], ["sounded", 1471], ["college", 1486], ["professor", 1496], ["unveil", 1506], ["unveiling", 1506], ["thesis", 1515], ["sure", 1522], ["enough", 1529], ["three", 1544], ["rung", 1549], ["rang", 1549], ["ring", 1549], ["cover", 1562], ["book", 1591], ["excellent", 1609], ["write", 1628], ["writing", 1628], ["written", 1628], ["elaborate", 1641], ["red", 1645], ["calligraphy", 1657], ["flip", 1674], ["flipping", 1674], ["flipped", 1674], ["open", 1690], ["tide", 1702], ["tides", 1702], ["tiding", 1702], ["page", 1707], ["hollywood", 1725], ["good", 1733], ["well", 1733], ["best", 1733], ["wells", 1733], ["bested", 1733], ["bestest", 1733], ["letter", 1766], ["lettering", 1766], ["lettered", 1766], ["purple", 1776], ["script", 1783], ["scripts", 1783], ["scripting", 1783], ["smooth", 1801], ["smoothed", 1801], ["hand", 1810], ["title", 1825], ["decide", 1854], ["well", 1877], ["wells", 1877], ["better", 1877], ["use", 1889], ["used", 1889], ["guy", 1919], ["guys", 1919], ["think", 1925], ["thinkest", 1925], ["side", 1973], ["sidest", 1973], ["examine", 1996], ["examined", 1996], ["put", 2028], ["putting", 2028], ["movie", 2077], ["movies", 2077], ["another", 2114], ["front", 2162], ["fit", 2197], ["fitting", 2197], ["fits", 2197], ["subject", 2209], ["subjectest", 2209], ["ca", 2239], ["cas", 2239], ["believe", 2251], ["rip", 2289], ["ripped", 2289], ["beautiful", 2381], ["beautifulest", 2381], ["lettering", 2391], ["crumple", 2409], ["crumpled", 2409], ["stuff", 2430], ["stuffed", 2430], ["stuff", 2474], ["slept", 2486], ["sleep", 2486], ["sleeps", 2486], ["sleepest", 2486], ["exchange", 2502], ["exchanged", 2502], ["smile", 2510], ["lu", 2529], ["anne", 2534], ["head", 2542], ["nice", 2558], ["moment", 2565], ["even", 2582], ["evens", 2582], ["say", 2586], ["sayest", 2586], ["parental", 2597], ["divide", 2623], ["divided", 2623], ["notebook", 2636], ["section", 2650], ["sectioning", 2650], ["sections", 2650], ["first", 2678], ["firstest", 2678], ["female", 2688], ["male", 2697], ["males", 2697], ["actor", 2726], ["several", 2738], ["different", 2748], ["category", 2759], ["categories", 2759], ["gaze", 2789], ["gazes", 2789], ["gazed", 2789], ["wonder", 2799], ["wonderest", 2799], ["row", 2811], ["rowest", 2811], ["rows", 2811], ["colored", 2822], ["tab", 2827], ["tabs", 2827], ["tabbed", 2827], ["exact", 2861], ["exacting", 2861], ["nod", 2900], ["nodded", 2900], ["approval", 2912], ["think", 2946], ["thinkest", 2946], ["thought", 2946], ["especially", 2985], ["thing", 3002], ["things", 3002], ["interest", 3018], ["studio", 3036], ["contract", 3046], ["contractest", 3046], ["contracts", 3046], ["bigfoot", 3058], ["well", 3071], ["wells", 3071], ["color", 3085], ["eye", 3097], ["eyed", 3097], ["eyes", 3097], ["every", 3105], ["time", 3110], ["description", 3142], ["kiss", 3161], ["kisses", 3161], ["kissest", 3161], ["sat", 3200], ["sit", 3200], ["sitting", 3200], ["probably", 3248], ["put", 3276], ["frankly", 3356], ["get", 3367], ["raw", 3373], ["deal", 3378], ["take", 3415], ["sean", 3420], ["instance", 3443], ["name", 3450], ["woman", 3463], ["womans", 3463], ["get", 3483], ["gets", 3483], ["romantic", 3496], ["lead", 3501], ["leaded", 3501], ["lean", 3514], ["leans", 3514], ["leaned", 3514], ["chin", 3523], ["fist", 3535], ["mean", 3547], ["meanest", 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and this i took a deep breath and leaned into phelpss side . is my date , ph elliot , he interrupted , thrusting out a hand in offering . elliot phelps . i blinked what felt like a thousand times , watching as mom took phelpss hand in both of hers , welcoming him into her household . why had he introduced himself that way ? did he not want my parents to know his real name ? welcome home , gumdrop . dad emerged on the porch , barbecue tongs in hand and sporting an apron that read , kiss the cook . lets get these cityfolk settled so we can start the party . just like that , dad set everyone to action . ferrero picked up his worn leather briefcase . phelps hoisted his duffle bag onto his shoulder and grabbed the two suitcases . i tucked dyllie down into my purse . mom herded us up the steps and into the house . i had told phelps that we would probably be in separate rooms . my parents were old fashioned in a lot of ways . so , when mom showed phelps and me to my old bedroomnow devoid of all traces of my youth except the bed and nightstandand told us to come downstairs when we were ready , it only added to the shock . i cant believe she put us in the same room . phelps set the luggage and his duffle at the end of the bed before flopping his lean length onto the quilt-covered mattress . after the day ive had , he exhaled as folded his arms behind his head and closed his eyes , im just glad to have a bed at all . spying a few inches of space , i sat down next to his hip . you mean more than being stuck in a limo with ferrero in an artistic tizzy , pulling over to get a trench coat out of the trunk , and getting carjacked in the process ? he unfolded one tan arm and rubbed his eyes . id never seen him look quite so worn out . i had the gig from hell this morning . i leaned down on one elbow and took over his temple massage . come to think of it , he had been uncharacteristically quiet during the drive up . i had chalked it up to ferreros obsessive attitude , but maybe it was more . tell me about it , i ventured as i rubbed gentle circles across his forehead . i spent six hours surrounded by fawning swimsuit models . his eyes flashed open and before i could react he reached around my neck and pulled me flush across his body . settling me across his chest , he clasped his hands over my lower back and held me close . i closed my eyes and absorbed the feeling of every single inch of his fitness model body . i found myself sinking into him . startled , my eyes jerked open , only to find him fully relaxed against the pillow , his own eyes dreamily drifted shut . poor baby , i whispered , laying my head down on his chest . mesmerized by the rhythmic rise and fall of his breathing , my mind drifted . how long had it been since i felt this way ? there was something about this wild man that , paradoxically enough , soothed my mind . he might not be the kind of guy i would settle down with , but he sure made me feel like a princess . and most of the time i didnt even remember that he was seven years younger . he was fun and exciting and always came up with ways to shake up my life . like when he hey , i admonished , shaking him out of our contented slumber . why did you introduce yourself to my mom as elliot phelps ? because thats my name , he answered sleepily . his eyes drifted open and he looked at me with the blurry admiration of a puppy dognot that dyllie would ever stoop to blurry admiration . no , i argued , your name is phelps elliot . fiona told me . i rolled off his chest and off the bed to better project my indignation . he sat up , stretching the tight t-shirt across his beautiful chest . stifling a yawn , he jumped out of bed and pulled me into a hug . but my real name is elliot phelps . elliot richard phelps , actually . famous faces thought phelps elliot sounded a little more fashionable . a little less geeky ? i was going to say less stiff , he said . why didnt you tell me the truth before ? never came up . he shrugged , as if it didnt matter . then why tell my mom the truth ? why not just keep up the faade ? it wasnt a faade , lyd . it was just ... easier . he looked away for an instant before meeting my eager gaze . i didnt want half-truths between us anymore . there was some kind of intensity in his eyes , in his entire body as he confessed this . he might as well have saidi want there to be more between us . to back away and never , ever mention this again . but his arms tightened around me before i could flee . | [["take", 15], ["took", 15], ["deep", 22], ["deeply", 22], ["breath", 29], ["breathest", 29], ["lean", 40], ["leans", 40], ["leaned", 40], ["side", 58], ["sidest", 58], ["date", 71], ["ph", 76], ["phs", 76], ["elliot", 83], ["interrupt", 100], ["interruptest", 100], ["interrupted", 100], ["thrust", 112], ["thrusting", 112], ["hand", 123], ["offer", 135], ["blink", 163], ["blinked", 163], ["feel", 173], ["felt", 173], ["like", 178], ["thousand", 189], ["time", 195], ["times", 195], ["watch", 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`` what 's the name of the guy who hurt you ? maybe someone should pay him a visit ? '' startled , she laughed with delight at his sudden protectiveness so ingrained in the male species . another thing to like about him-once he trusted , he 'd be loyal to the core . michael allowed the charges to be dropped for a good reason . let 's just say my older brother knows people . at least the exec 's hospital stay was quite short . '' `` italians are definitely the best in the area of payback . i 've watched the godfather and goodfellas a bunch of times . '' she was still laughing when her employees streamed into the room . they threw odd glances at both of them as they took their seats and waited for her to speak . julietta moved to the head of the table and smiled . chapter eight sawyer did a quick survey of the rooms to make sure everything was in place . the bulgari milano hotel was perfect for their first encounter , offering an old-fashioned luxury that was both visually and physically arresting . the sitting room was intimately set up with a brera stone fireplace , and the rich woods of teak and oak blended with deep vanillas and buttery colors that soothed the senses . the refined elegance of the eighteenth-century palazzo reminded him of julietta . the display of ornate jewels and tasteful antiques throughout the suite added an extra touch . the open carved archway led to the bedroom , where a magnificent canopy bed dominated the room . ice blue silk pillows matched the ridiculously expensive thread count of the pulled-back sheets , and the glass doors opened to a private balcony that overlooked the gardens . a bottle of champagne chilled in the silver bucket across from a tray of finger foods to keep any hunger at bay . he hoped he 'd finally elicit a different type of hunger . anticipation bit through him in sweet agony and stiffened his cock . their negotiations over this night still turned him on . he 'd never met a woman so worthy of pleasure . the sharpness of her intellect was as much of a turn-on as her luscious body . a body she did n't know how to use or to take pleasure in . the dom in him howled to release such a prize and claim it for himself . the possessiveness surprised him . he 'd shared women before without a thought-not to hurt them but to make sure he did n't restrain them with false expectations . sawyer realized long ago he 'd never be whole enough for a healthy , long-term relationship . with a past filled with abuse , neglect , and mental games , there was nothing pure or good in him to offer . he made sure women knew there was no future going in so he never gave fake hope . but since julietta , his inner caveman broke out with a primitive impulse to mark her as his . still , he could n't believe he 'd persuaded her to spend the night . when she calmly informed him he 'd only get a few hours and she 'd leave before dawn , the need to claim her till morning shocked him to the core . guess he got a taste of the other side . his fingers tingled as he opened it and wondered if she 'd obey his first request . his scrawled note with the gift box probably intimidated her . sawyer flung open the door . instead of a trembling lover , he faced a pissed-off ice queen . a scowl settled on her brow . `` you actually think women like wearing this crap ? do you know how humiliating it is to have people think you 're not wearing anything under your coat ? i got stares from the taxi driver and doorman . '' she stalked in wearing a short cream-colored wool coat . stiletto heels . loose mahogany waves fell past her shoulders and continued to her waist , emphasizing the nak*dness of her col-larbone , teasing an onlooker to try to take a peek . her skirt was so short it disappeared under the hemline and gave the impression of erotic hide-and-go-seek . she obeyed perfectly . his gaze roved over her with pure greed , even as he fought a grin at her entry . she was so different from any other woman-he was endlessly fascinated by the twist of confidence and vulnerability she exhibited . `` you did n't like the stares of the other men ? '' he chal-lenged . `` does n't it make you feel desirable ? `` dirty , '' she quipped , dropping her purse on the chair and glancing around . she obviously was n't ready to lose the coat . `` puttana ? '' he poured her a glass of champagne and crossed the room . the scent of rich coconut and mocha drifted from her skin . `` slut , huh ? ah , you are judging by society 's expectations again . why should n't a powerful woman want to be a slut in her own bedroom ? | [["name", 19], ["guy", 30], ["hurt", 39], ["hurts", 39], ["hurting", 39], ["maybe", 51], ["pay", 70], ["pays", 70], ["payest", 70], ["visit", 82], ["laugh", 110], ["laughed", 110], ["delight", 123], ["sudden", 137], ["protectiveness", 152], ["male", 177], ["males", 177], ["specie", 185], ["species", 185], ["another", 195], ["thing", 201], ["like", 209], ["trust", 235], ["trusted", 235], ["loyal", 252], ["core", 264], ["michael", 274], ["allow", 282], ["allowed", 282], ["charge", 294], ["charges", 294], ["drop", 308], ["dropped", 308], ["good", 319], ["reason", 326], ["reasonest", 326], ["let", 332], ["lets", 332], ["say", 344], ["sayest", 344], ["old", 353], ["brother", 361], ["brethren", 361], ["know", 367], ["knowest", 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he heard their coffee sucked , but the strip search would make any bangkok prostitute blush . `` sir , is there a problem ? a male flight attendant appeared as if conjured from thin air . brow furrowed , the guy was burly and concerned . not concerned for mike 's welfare , but rather concerned for the other passengers . the bouncer of the plane , basically . mike pointed to his seat . `` it 's soaked ! there 's some sort of liquid ... on - `` if he were a woman , he 'd have shuddered . instead , he clenched his fists and spoke through gritted teeth . `` i just sat in something wet , something i did n't put there , and now my ass is soaked . '' eyebrows shot up , the flight attendant clearly trying to fight laughter . he reminded mike of younger version of dominic , but with a more metrosexual look . like a sleek , stylish gangster . the name tag read anthony . `` sir , i do n't know what to tell you , but we 're taxiing and federal aviation regulations require you to sit . '' private jets never had wet seats . private jets never made him bang his head , or twist his thigh muscles into pretzels , or make him have conversations like this . playing the role of matt jones was tedious enough , but now ? now he was getting angry . no cameras were rolling ; the producers had simply told him matt jones needed to act like any other middle manager . and then lydia booked him on this piece of shit plane . with a wet ass . `` you 're telling me , '' he said in an increasingly angry voice , `` that you expect a consumer to sit in a puddle of undetermined liquid , liquid that could be someone else 's body fluids , body fluids that could transmit disease ? '' a few women sitting next to small children turned and gawked , eyes wide with alarm . the word disease did the trick . he crossed his arms and locked his jaw . no way he was sitting down again in that spot . anthony picked up a small walkie-talkie attached to the wall and pushed a button . mumbled a few words . turned his attention back to mike . `` we have no other options , sir , unless you want to go on a later flight . '' `` so your clean-up crew dropped the ball and you expect me to completely rearrange my connecting flights , my meetings , and for my business to lose money because your business could n't do the most basic of tasks ? '' a man and a woman in suits , obviously air warriors who flew frequently , did a polite clap . all passenger eyes were on him and anthony now . a small child pointed to mike 's ass and said , `` mommy , did he have a problem going potty ? '' titters made mike close his eyes and breathe carefully before he turned into a raging bull . `` give the guy a better seat ! '' mike cheered on the inside . he knew he had the goodwill of the passengers on his side and the scales had tipped in his favor . they had to find him a new seat . absolutely , or they 'd look like a**holes . this was a pr nightmare . anthony tried to stare him down . mike just looked back , unwavering , with as neutral but commanding a look as he could . narrowing his eyes , nostrils flaring , anthony pursed his lips , cocked his head , and seemed to be thinking . he then slowly turned back to the walkie-talkie , picked it up , and put it on intercom . `` attention please , passengers ! we have a gentleman here who claims that his seat is wet , not by his own doing . we are a packed plane , there are absolutely no spare seats on the plane whatsoever , so any passenger willing to trade seats with this man in the back row , by the bathroom , please come forward . we can not offer any compensation at this time other than our undying gratitude for your assistance . '' the titters turned to snorts , derisive sounds that all said the same thing . yeah , right , bud ! you 're on your own ! mike 's jaw tightened , anthony was smarter than he thought . a female flight attendant conjured up a trash bag ; a plastic hefty that was still flat and unopened . mike asked angrily . `` you can put it under your ... self when you sit down to protect you from whatever you ... they.. someone left . '' she was flustered , young , and obviously had no idea how to handle the situation . `` i would like to speak to the pilot , '' mike said . `` that would be a violation of faa regulations , sir . we are taxiing . you absolutely must sit down and fasten your seatbelt . if you do n't we will have to stop the plane , call an air marshal , and have you personally escorted off the plane for a discussion with tsa agents . '' now anthony 's voice was hard . | [["hear", 8], ["hears", 8], ["heard", 8], ["coffee", 21], ["suck", 28], ["sucking", 28], ["sucked", 28], ["strip", 44], ["search", 51], ["bangkok", 74], ["prostitute", 85], ["blush", 91], ["blushes", 91], ["sir", 100], ["sirs", 100], ["problem", 121], ["male", 130], ["males", 130], ["flight", 137], ["attendant", 147], ["appear", 156], ["appeared", 156], ["conjure", 171], ["conjured", 171], ["thin", 181], ["thins", 181], ["air", 185], ["airs", 185], ["airing", 185], ["brow", 192], ["furrow", 201], ["furrowed", 201], ["guy", 211], ["burly", 221], ["mike", 260], ["mikes", 260], ["miked", 260], ["welfare", 271], ["rather", 284], ["passenger", 319], ["passengers", 319], ["bouncer", 333], ["plane", 346], ["basically", 358], ["point", 373], ["pointed", 373], ["seat", 385], ["soak", 403], ["soaks", 403], ["soaked", 403], ["sort", 424], ["liquid", 434], ["woman", 465], ["womans", 465], ["shudder", 488], ["shuddering", 488], ["shudderest", 488], ["shuddered", 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["escort", 4464], ["escorted", 4464], ["discussion", 4495], ["tsa", 4504], ["agent", 4511], ["agents", 4511], ["hard", 4546]] |
you 'll have bags under your eyes tomorrow . '' it was probably just polite conversation , but no one had given a thought to her being up late since high school . `` the girls wo n't care . '' `` look , it 's too late to talk about it now , but i 've got an idea for something that might start those girls and their families talking again . i 've got to catch a few hours ' sleep or i wo n't know what i 'm saying , but i 'll be there at about eight-thirty . the girls would just be starting their lessons . their regular teacher had called in sick . if she could n't find a substitute in the morning , she 'd have to try to supervise their studies . tell cynthia i missed her . she told herself not to be foolish , that this was what she got for reading a romance late at night . `` like a thorn in you finger , i imagine , '' she said . she heard ron chuckle softly . `` not quite that bad . if you 're interested , maybe i 'll tell you about the two real thorns in my side . i wo n't keep you up . '' my car is at the house . i had a limousine pick me up . '' i do n't imagine you 've had much sleep since you left . i would n't want you to fall asleep at the wheel . '' why was she babbling on ? it was no more than a twenty-minute drive from the airport to the section of town where he lived . even a man suffering from severe sleep deprivation could stay awake that long . `` i intend to fall asleep as soon as i hang up . '' `` wo n't that make it harder to get to sleep later ? '' it might , but talking on the phone with a foolish female who could n't tell when to hang up probably would n't help , either . `` i can sleep any time , any place . now i 'm keeping you up . i 'll be there before you know it . '' `` you do n't have to be here so early . you need to sleep more than you need to talk to me . '' `` that 's what i told myself when i was debating whether to call you this late , but i was wrong . '' there was no point in trying to deny it . ron egan was interested in her , and whether she wanted to admit it or not , she was pleased . she fumbled the phone back into its cradle , too preoccupied to care . ron egan was interested in her . more to the point , what was she going to do about the fact she liked him , too ? they were wrong for each other . not that she believed he was thinking about marriage . he was unattached at the moment and they had been thrown together by circumstances . it was n't surprising they would be interested in each other as long as they had a common interest . that sort of thing happened all the time . but that was n't really the way things worked for her . she 'd never been interested in a man just because of proximity . in fact , being thrown together by random circumstances such as being in the same college classes or working together on a committee normally made her withdraw . she hated the phony kind of intimacy such situations created . it was like being away from reality for a few hours or days , and doing , saying or feeling things you knew you 'd never do , say or feel once you went back to your real life . that meant she would never see ron again . a feeling akin to panic came over her . she tried to deny the feeling . she tried to blame it on being tired , to having eaten a piece of coconut cake at eleven-thirty , but she knew she was fooling herself . she wanted him to be interested in her , and she did n't want him to disappear when cynthia moved back home . she did n't know what she wanted the relationship to mean , but she did know she did n't want to give it up just yet . she told herself she was being as foolish as her girls had been about the boys that had gotten them in trouble , but that did n't change anything . she knew she would be downstairs long before eight-thirty . and whether she found a substitute teacher or not , she 'd be listening for the sound of the doorbell . the doorbell rang at precisely 8:30 a.m. kathryn decided ron must have waited on the porch for the second hand to reach twelve . she told herself she could n't run to the door . she 'd already changed her routine so she could be in the living room . anything more would be too obvious . she opened the door to find kerry o'grady on her porch . he looked as if he were frightened out of his mind . `` i 've got to see lisette , '' he said . kathryn blocked kerry 's path . he knew she did n't allow visits until the girls finished their lessons . | [["bag", 17], ["bagged", 17], ["bagging", 17], ["bags", 17], ["eye", 33], ["eyed", 33], ["eyes", 33], ["tomorrow", 42], ["tomorrows", 42], ["probably", 63], ["polite", 75], ["conversation", 88], ["give", 111], ["given", 111], ["thought", 121], ["late", 142], ["lates", 142], ["since", 148], ["high", 153], ["school", 160], ["schooling", 160], ["girl", 175], ["girls", 175], ["wo", 178], ["look", 200], ["talk", 225], ["get", 254], ["got", 254], ["idea", 262], ["may", 287], ["mays", 287], 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`` when i realized i was ready to detonate enough explosives to kill an entire city block of innocent people in order to make sure he could never harm you , i knew it was time i let you go . that i got the hell away from you . '' her heart was beating so fast that it hurt , and she swallowed hard . `` but you did n't do it , scott . wanting to do something and actually going through with it are two entirely different things . he blew out a rough breath , his tall , muscular body vibing with a vicious tension as he continued to pace . `` but i almost did . christ , lily , you have no idea how badly i wanted to , just so i 'd know that bastard could never get to you . '' she could n't stop herself from taking a step toward him . `` and you do n't think i would have felt the same way about protecting you ? '' `` most women are n't like that . '' `` well , i 'm not most goddamn women , '' she shot back , her voice cracking with emotion . `` i 'm the one who wanted you more than life ! '' he flinched , then fisted his hands at his sides and bellowed , `` you were a f**king child ! '' `` i was n't , '' she argued , swiping at the stupid tears on her face . `` you were just too blind to see it . but take a good look at me now . tell me if you still think i 'm a little girl . '' his hot gaze slid up and down her body . `` after the things i 've done to you , you know i do n't . you wanted me to f**k you and i have . '' her laugh was brittle , filled with pain and the longing for things she knew she was n't ever going to get . `` i did n't just want to f**k you . i wanted to belong to you . i wanted to make a life with you . have a family with you . and you left without even saying a single word to me ! '' `` and you do n't think i 'm sorry for that ? that it has n't torn me apart every f**king day i 've been away from you ? '' i do n't know , '' she said , shaking her head . he roared , swiping his hand through the air . `` fuck , lily . the problem is that the two of us together would be like a goddamn natural disaster . we 're talking storm of the century ! '' i think it 's all a matter of perspective , scott . as well as trust . and just for the record , i happen to love storms . they 're ... exciting . `` if you have the right person by your side , there 's nothing in a storm that can hurt you . except them . they hold a power over you . one you end up giving over to them whether you want to or not . even knowing they might destroy you with it . '' he screwed his eyes shut , looking pained , then slowly opened them . `` and yet , that 's what you always end up doing . '' his shoulders fell as he watched the tears spilling down her cheeks , his tortured voice little more than a croak . `` christ , lil , i 'm sorry . i 've f**ked up so many times with you . `` by breaking my heart three years ago ? and then , tonight , using your stupid decoy idea as a way to push me away ? '' but when i saw mike put his hands on you '' -he ground his jaw- '' i wanted to kill him . `` yeah , well , you do n't have that right . only someone who loves me has the right to kill for me . '' `` i have every right when it comes to you , '' he scraped out , closing the distance between them . he speared his fingers into her hair , holding her head in his rough hands , and put his face right over hers . every beautiful , stubborn , mouthwatering inch of you . you may not believe me , but you mean something to me , lily . a hell of a lot more than any other woman ever has . '' his voice dropped , and he pressed his forehead to hers . `` it 's scaring the shit out of me , baby . we 're talking pure f**king terror . '' `` her perfume , '' she muttered , turning her head to the side , afraid to let his words into the tenderness of her heart . they could do so much damage in there . `` you still smell like her . '' he took his gun from the back of his jeans , set it on the bedside table , then picked her up and carried her into the bathroom . seconds later they were both nak*d and she was against the shower 's tiled wall , the water misting against her face as ryder lowered his head and took her tight nipple into the scorching heat of his mouth . with her heartbeat roaring in her ears , she watched the erotic play of his mouth as it skimmed over her flesh . | [["realize", 18], ["realized", 18], ["ready", 30], ["detonate", 42], ["enough", 49], ["explosive", 60], ["explosives", 60], ["kill", 68], ["entire", 78], ["city", 83], ["block", 89], ["blocks", 89], ["innocent", 101], ["people", 108], ["order", 117], ["orderest", 117], ["sure", 130], ["never", 145], ["harm", 150], ["harmest", 150], ["know", 163], ["knowest", 163], ["knew", 163], ["time", 175], ["let", 181], ["lets", 181], ["go", 188], ["goest", 188], ["get", 201], ["got", 201], ["hell", 210], ["hells", 210], ["away", 215], ["heart", 239], 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after they entered her apartment , gavin had her sit down on the couch as he retrieved a washcloth and bandages from the bathroom . he also filled a bowl with cool water . when he emerged from the kitchen , he found her rocking back and forth , cradling her face in her hands . heaviness settled in his chest like a brick . the urge to take her into his arms and shield her from the pain she was feeling was almost impossible for him to resist . sitting himself on the floor in front of her , gavin dipped the washcloth into the water and reached for one of her wrists . she flinched back in noticeable pain as he laid it across her skin . now he felt anger surge within him , knowing that dillon had caused all of it . gavin gritted his teeth as he squeezed the excess water from the cloth , noticing its white color was tinged pink from her blood . the blood from this beautiful woman was brought on by an asshole - an asshole that did n't deserve her smile , her touch , her warmth , or her love . wanting to tell her how much better he could treat her , see to her every need , and take care of her in every way possible , gavin found his voice trapped in yearning , not wanting to upset her further . `` i 'm sorry that i caused this to happen , gavin . i 'm so sorry , '' she whispered as tears steadily trickled down her cheeks . with his brows creased and head tilted , gavin applied the last bandage . he looked up to her and tried to understand why she would say that . `` you think this was your fault ? '' dillon was right . if i did n't let that guy touch me , none of this would 've happened . '' `` emily ... '' he paused , bringing his hand up to cup the curve of her jaw . `` you 're not responsible for what happened . sniffling , she adamantly shook her head and stared into his eyes . `` no , gavin , i 'm responsible . i had no right talking to that guy to begin with . '' she started sobbing uncontrollably . `` you and dillon were friends , and now you wo n't be after this . i ca n't believe what i 've caused . '' he could see the mixture of confusion and pain on her face , and it only heightened his confusion . damn dillon . he had her under a tighter hold than gavin could 've ever imagined . `` he makes you think it 's your fault , emily , '' he replied , the words spoken low but unwavering . `` and i 'm not worried about his friendship right now . i 'm worried about you - you , emily - not him . '' shaking her head , she continued to cry , barely managing a breath in between . gavin rose to his feet and settled himself on the couch next to her . placing a pillow on his lap , he gently pulled her down and rested her head against it . he was n't surprised that she did n't resist . the woman that he 'd come to know was broken - torn to pieces by a man who saw through her weaknesses . weaknesses he used against her with every chance he got . it could 've been seconds , minutes , or possibly hours - gavin did n't know - but he sat there stroking emily 's hair until she fell asleep . with bloodshot eyes , gavin watched as her chest rose and fell peacefully . as each one of those seconds , minutes , or possible hours passed , gavin knew - and not for the sake of what he wanted for him and emily , but for the sake of emily alone - he needed to get her away from dillon . the cold infinite october sky held an unobstructed view of a full harvest moon as emily and olivia stepped out from their building . pulling in a deep breath , emily stared at the twinkling stars spreading across the backdrop of towering buildings . she longed for this season . the air , although crisp , managed to warm her , reminding her of colorado . if there was ever a time in her life that she felt she needed her mother , it was right now . `` we look amazing , chick , '' olivia trilled , waving a taxi over . `` my mother always says the best money spent is money spent on hair , makeup , and nails for an evening like this . '' before emily could agree , a sleek black limousine pulled up in front of them . the chauffeur stepped out , and emily recalled that he 'd driven them out to gavin 's home in the hamptons . `` good evening , miss martin , '' the gray-haired plump gentleman said to olivia . `` please forgive my tardiness this evening . the city has quite a few blocks closed down for repairs that i was unaware of . '' `` hey , marcus , '' olivia replied with a smile , walking over to him . `` did that sneaky bastard send you ? '' | [["enter", 18], ["entered", 18], ["apartment", 32], ["gavin", 40], ["sat", 52], ["sit", 52], ["couch", 70], ["couchest", 70], ["retrieve", 86], ["retrieved", 86], ["washcloth", 98], ["bandage", 111], ["bandages", 111], ["bathroom", 129], ["also", 139], ["fill", 146], ["fills", 146], ["filled", 146], ["bowl", 153], ["bowling", 153], ["cool", 163], ["water", 169], ["emerge", 187], ["emerged", 187], ["kitchen", 204], ["kitchens", 204], ["find", 215], ["found", 215], ["rock", 227], ["rocking", 227], ["back", 232], ["forth", 242], ["cradle", 253], ["cradled", 253], ["cradling", 253], ["face", 262], ["hand", 275], ["hands", 275], ["heaviness", 287], ["settle", 295], ["settled", 295], ["chest", 308], ["like", 313], ["brick", 321], ["urge", 332], ["take", 340], ["arm", 358], ["arms", 358], ["shield", 369], ["shields", 369], ["pain", 387], ["feel", 403], ["feeling", 403], ["almost", 414], ["impossible", 425], ["resist", 443], ["resistest", 443], ["sat", 453], ["sit", 453], ["sitting", 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your uncle would n't be happy about that . he was the happiest man i ever knew . and i 'm trying to be happy without him . `` here , have another beer . '' arlene leaned into her cooler and pressed another cold one into caroline 's hand . she took a deep swallow . it tasted yeasty and better than anything hugh had made for her the other night at dottie 's . maybe she should read the signs . like she was a beer person , not a martini person . the loudspeaker squawked , and engines roared to life . a string of dilapidated cars made their way onto the muddy rodeo arena . one of those cars-a beat-up dodge-belonged to bubba . caroline could just see the ex-linebacker-turned-mechanic behind the wheel , wearing a crash helmet , the ends of this too-long hair coming out the back . she swept her gaze around the crowd . her backside practically lifted right out of the chair the minute she saw hugh . she had n't expected to see an english aristocrat at something as hopelessly lowbrow as a demolition derby . but then , had n't he told her that he 'd helped bubba work on the car ? the baron had climbed up to sit on one of the hay bales set up across the way . he and dash were sitting together like they were a couple of old buddies . hugh wore his faded jeans and a black t-shirt-an outfit that was n't that much different from what dash was wearing . hugh was drinking beer from a long-necked bottle . dash was drinking a coca-cola . arlene gave caroline a little nudge in the ribs and leaned in to scream in her ear over the revving of the motors . `` honey , who is that beautiful man sitting with dash ? '' `` that , aunt arlene , is hugh debracy , baron woolham . '' arlene leaned back , her eyes growing wide . `` you mean that man over there is the duke who knocked out bubba 's teeth , got you drunk at dotty 's , and then kissed you senseless at the kissing booth yesterday ? '' `` wow , news does get around this town , does n't it ? '' arlene leaned in . `` honey , it all makes sense now . '' `` that man is cuter than a baby 's butt . and he 's ... well , he must spend some of his time in the royal gym . '' `` yeah , he 's got some pretty impressive biceps there . '' `` so what did miriam tell him he needed to be looking for ? '' `` she said he should be looking for a woman with a really big checkbook . you see , he 's undercapitalized , and if he ca n't get daddy 's land , he 's going back to england to marry an heiress named lady ashton . '' she said the words and felt her throat close up . why could n't a girl like her have a guy like him ? she took another gulp of beer and could almost hear sharon 's voice echoing through her head . sharon had told her that a woman should n't ever believe in cinderella . it sort of suggested that sharon had n't been as happy in her marriage as stone had been . and caroline did n't want to think about that . was it possible that the whole sharon and stone thing was a myth , too ? like the bubba and rocky show ? a girl had to think with her head , not her private parts . and hugh was not the one miriam had forecast for her . even if hugh was kind of a regular guy in some respects , caroline could never overcome the reality of what miriam said hugh needed . she had no fortune to give him . two hours later bubba had once again won the day , smashing all comers with his hulking dodge . the victor was celebrating down on pit row . caroline linked her arm through rachel 's and practically dragged her down to where the celebration was taking place . `` uh , maybe this is a huge mistake , '' rachel said . `` you cried over bubba , rachel . you said you thought you 'd never get another chance . well , i 'm not about to let that happen . '' she stopped and gave rachel a big hug . `` really , i want bubba to have a life that does n't involve him mooning over me . so i would be so grateful to you and to god if it turns out that you and bubba belong together , because honestly , i 've been praying for him-a lot . '' rachel let go of a little laugh . `` i had a thing for him in middle school , but i knew he liked you more . i always thought , you know ... '' she shrugged , and her cheeks flushed . no secrets , right ? | [["uncle", 10], ["happy", 29], ["happy", 62], ["happiest", 62], ["man", 66], ["mans", 66], ["manned", 66], ["ever", 73], ["everest", 73], ["know", 78], ["knowest", 78], ["knew", 78], ["try", 96], ["tryed", 96], ["trying", 96], ["without", 116], ["another", 145], ["beer", 150], ["arlene", 162], ["lean", 169], ["leans", 169], ["leaned", 169], ["cooler", 185], ["press", 197], ["pressed", 197], ["cold", 210], ["caroline", 228], ["hand", 236], ["take", 247], ["took", 247], ["deep", 254], ["deeply", 254], ["swallow", 262], ["swallows", 262], ["taste", 274], ["tasted", 274], ["yeasty", 281], ["well", 292], ["wells", 292], ["anything", 306], ["hugh", 311], ["night", 344], ["maybe", 365], ["read", 381], ["reads", 381], ["sign", 391], ["signs", 391], ["like", 398], ["person", 420], ["martini", 436], ["martinis", 436], ["loudspeaker", 461], ["squawk", 470], ["squawks", 470], ["squawked", 470], ["engine", 484], ["engines", 484], 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holding the slightly curved rod up for bella to examine , she goes on explaining while coating it with yet more of the sterile lube . `` this is called a sound . never mind its intended use for urethral blockage therapy , i 'm sure you 'll soon be glad i 've made sure that your bladder is comfortably empty of what you seem so embarrassed about . '' spreading the upper part of bella 's labia above the speculum she then starts to insert the sound into bella 's peehole , her motions now quick and short as she pushes the instrument in deeper , alternating with withdrawing it a little in turn . the sound she has chosen in one of the smallest , even thinner in diameter than the soft catheter tube has been , and bella 's discomfort should be mostly psychological , not physical . and sure enough she looks rather distressed before the sound is even halfway inserted , usually a sign that she does n't want to admit that she likes something her mind keeps rejecting . beth is nothing if not persistent as she keeps f**king bella gently with the steel rod , her motions slowly becoming surer and longer . after a while she withdraws the sound and places it back at the tray , smirking when she sees bella 's somewhat dismal expression . `` oh , do n't worry , i 'm not done with you for quite some time . '' picking up the next larger sound she resumes her ministrations with yet more lube applied , and after another switch in instrument sizes starts to rub bella 's cl*t with her forefinger in sync with the motion of the intruding sound . before long simple pleasure overrules morals and decency , and ever so often low , guttural moans escape bella 's parted lips . the more she reacts and even starts to buck her h*ps slightly forward , the more beth picks up speed and depth of every single motion , until bella looks ready to come undone any moment now . only that then she makes a crucial mistake . instead of turning to me it is beth who she pleads with to let her come , and beth in turn halts what she is doing even before i utter a rather unfriendly `` stop . '' it takes her only a moment to realize her mishap but a glare from me makes her shut her mouth before a note of protest or apology can come out . i keep staring at bella until she 's nearly cringing in her restraints before i turn to beth , silently asking her opinion on what she thinks is appropriate punishment that does n't ruin our further plans right on the spot . she offers me a barely visible shrug , then her eyes dart to the case the still unused sounds are stored in . `` do you like getting your peehole f**ked ? '' i ask her , turning my tone deliberately crude . bella swallows as she nods , new color rising in her cheeks . `` do you want beth to continue ? '' `` do you think you deserve to come ? '' she hesitates at the question , conflict plain in her eyes . a moment of lip biting ensues , before she slowly nods , but her gaze is unsure . i snort as i lean closer , then quickly twist her rubber band pinched nipple hard . bella lets out a high keen before she gets a grip on herself , the sound of her ragged breath as she deals with the pain loud in the otherwise silent room . `` yes , you what ? '' her eyes keep searching my face but i can see her relax already when she realizes that i do n't intend to keep her from cli**xing . i briefly wonder just how much she will curse herself for that assumption later , but of course do n't let her know my devious thoughts . `` yes , your needy cumslut deserves to come while being f**ked in her peehole ! '' her breathy voice and obviously not fake enthusiasm make me laugh , and it 's easy to grant her her plea - with one condition . if you manage to , that is , '' i point out cryptically , then go on as i turn to beth . `` but i think she can handle a thicker sound , how about two sizes up ? '' `` certainly , '' beth agrees , her tone very close to an evil purr as she 's already reaching for the new instrument . bella 's eyes are wide when i look back to her but she does n't speak up , although she involuntarily cringes away when beth is done lubing up the new sound . something between a hiss and a whine leaves her lips once beth starts pushing it into her slowly , but i trust beth to know how far she can go without doing any damage at all . soon enough that assumption proves true when bella 's sounds of discomfort turn into more wanton exclamations of need , but it 's clearly a challenge for her to actually let go and relax far enough to be able to cli**x. thankfully we have time enough , and even when bella finally comes i nod for beth to continue . | [["hold", 7], ["holding", 7], ["slightly", 20], ["curve", 27], ["curved", 27], ["rod", 31], ["examine", 55], ["go", 66], ["goest", 66], ["goes", 66], ["explain", 80], ["explaining", 80], ["coat", 94], ["coating", 94], 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a woman of her mother 's age had no business sitting alone in the cold . her mother claimed it was because of her ruined vision , but meredith did n't believe that . it was true that her mother 's eyes did n't process color-she saw only white and black and shades of gray-but that had never struck meredith , even as a girl , as a reason for staring at nothing . she opened the door and went out into the cold . her boots sank in the ankle-deep snow ; here and there , crusty patches crunched underneath and more than once she almost slipped . `` you should n't be out here , mom , '' she said , coming up beside her . `` you 'll catch pneumonia . '' `` it takes more cold than this to give me pneumonia . this is barely below freezing . '' it was the sort of ridiculous comment her mother always made . `` i 've only got an hour for lunch , so you 'd better come in now . '' her voice sounded sharp in the softness of the falling snow , and she winced , wishing she had rounded her vowels more , tempered her voice . what was it about her mother that brought out the worst in her ? `` did you know he invited me for lunch ? '' `` of course , '' her mother said , but meredith heard the lie in it . her mother rose from the bench in a single fluid motion , like some ancient goddess used to being revered and adored . her face was remarkably smooth and wrinkle-free , her skin flawless and almost translucent . she had the kind of bone structure that made other women envious . but it was her eyes that defined her beauty . deep-set and fringed by thick lashes , they were a remarkable shade of aqua flecked with bits of gold . meredith was sure that no one who had seen those eyes ever forgot them . how ironic it was that eyes of such remarkable hue were unable to see color . meredith took her mother 's elbow and led her away from the bench ; only then , when they were walking , did she notice that her mother 's hands were bare , and turning blue . your hands are blue . you should have on gloves in this cold- '' `` you do not know cold . '' `` whatever , mom . '' meredith bustled her mother up the back steps and into the warmth of the house . `` maybe you should take a bath to warm up . '' `` i do not want to be warm , thank you . it is december fourteenth . '' `` fine , '' meredith said , watching her shivering mother go to the stove to stir the soup . the ragged gray wool blanket fell to the floor in a heap around her . meredith set the table , and for a few precious moments there was noise in the room , an approximation of a relationship , at least . `` my girls , '' dad said , coming into the kitchen . he looked pale and slight , his once-wide shoulders whittled down to nothing by weight loss . moving forward , he put a hand on each woman 's shoulder , bringing meredith and mom in close . `` i love it when we 're together for lunch . '' `` as do i , '' she said in that clipped , accented voice of hers . `` and me , '' meredith said . dad nodded and went to the table . mom brought a tray of still-warm feta cheese corn bread slices , drizzled with butter , put a piece on each plate , and then brought over bowls of soup . `` i walked the orchard this morning , '' dad said . meredith nodded and took a seat beside him . `` i guess you noticed the back of field a ? '' that hillside 's been giving us some trouble . '' `` i 've got ed and amanda on it . do n't worry about the harvest . '' she sipped her soup ; it was rich and delicious . homemade lamb meatballs in a savory saffron broth with silken egg noodles . if she did n't exercise extreme caution , she 'd eat it all and have to run another mile this afternoon . `` i want to change that field to grapes . '' meredith slowly lowered her spoon . `` the golden delicious are not our best apple anymore . '' before she could interrupt , he held up his hand . we built this place on golden delicious , but things change . hell , it 's almost 2001 , meredith ; wine is the new thing . i think we could make ice wine and late harvest at the very least . '' `` in these times , dad ? the asian markets are tightening and it 's costing us a fortune to transport our fruit . competition is increasing . hell , our profits were down twelve percent last year and this year does n't look any better . we 're barely hanging on . '' `` you should listen to your father , '' mom said . `` oh , please , mom . you have n't even been inside the warehouse since we updated the cooling system . | [["woman", 7], ["womans", 7], ["mother", 21], ["mothered", 21], ["motherest", 21], ["age", 28], ["aged", 28], ["business", 44], ["sat", 52], ["sit", 52], ["sitting", 52], ["alone", 58], ["cold", 70], ["claim", 91], ["claimed", 91], ["ruin", 120], ["ruinest", 120], ["ruined", 120], ["vision", 127], ["meredith", 142], ["believe", 158], ["true", 177], ["eye", 201], ["eyed", 201], ["eyes", 201], ["process", 217], ["color", 223], ["see", 231], ["saw", 231], ["white", 242], ["black", 252], ["shade", 263], ["shaded", 263], ["shades", 263], ["gray", 271], ["grays", 271], ["never", 290], ["strike", 297], ["struck", 297], ["even", 313], ["evens", 313], ["girl", 323], ["reason", 337], ["reasonest", 337], ["stare", 349], ["stared", 349], ["staring", 349], ["nothing", 360], ["open", 373], ["opened", 373], ["door", 382], ["go", 391], 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`` ye 've a bruise on yer hip . '' evelinde bit her lip and tried to pretend she was anywhere else but there as his gaze rose along her side , one hand following the path , then pausing again on the side of her chest just below her left breast . the action stirred an odd tingling along her skin . she glanced down with confusion . the bruising would be from her fall in the water , but there was no way he could see through her chemise to the bruises he was- evelinde 's thoughts died as she saw that her still-damp chemise was transparent . she could clearly make out several dark patches through the clinging cloth . one was the large mottling bruise on her hip , the other another even bigger bruise on her ribs , but the others were not bruises at all . her darker n**ples were clearly displayed in the damp shift , and the dark gold at the apex of her thighs stood out against her pale skin . a gasp of horror caught in her throat , but before evelinde could pull away and cover herself , he 'd taken hold of her arm . she peered distractedly down at the arm he 'd turned slightly . she had seen all these bruises earlier , the result of her tumble in the river , not from falling from her horse as he supposed . she was more concerned with other issues at the moment , like her near nudity . when he leaned a little closer to see her upper arm better , evelinde sucked in a startled gulp of air . his breath was blowing hot and sweet on her chilled nipple through the damp chemise . the effect was almost shocking . evelinde stood completely still , holding her breath as he examined her injury . he took an exceptionally long time doing so , much longer than he had with the other bruises . and the whole time he did , he was inhaling and exhaling , sending out warm puffs of air over the trembling nipple . each time he did , an odd little tingle went through evelinde . then he suddenly raised a hand to run a finger lightly around the discoloration on her arm , and his wrist brushed against her nipple through the damp cloth . evelinde was sure it was accidental , and he did not even notice , but the effect it had on her was rather startling . she closed her eyes as an odd pleasure rolled through her body , finding herself suddenly torn between putting some space between them and staying put to enjoy more of the astonishing effect he had on her . when he finally released her arm and unclasped her legs , she opened her eyes to find him standing up . before evelinde could regain enough of her senses to go find her gown and draw it on to cover herself , he 'd clasped her head in one hand and tilted her face up to his as he brushed his finger lightly in a circle along her left jaw . `` ye 've another here , '' he growled . `` oh , '' evelinde breathed , as his finger apparently followed the edge of the bruise past the corner of her lips . that , too , was from her fall in the river , but she could n't seem to untangle her tongue enough to say so as his finger trailed over her skin . `` ye 've beautiful eyes , lass , '' he murmured , peering into those eyes now rather than at the injury he was tracing . `` so do you , '' evelinde whispered before she could think better of it . a smile tugged at the corner of his lips right before his mouth covered hers . evelinde stiffened at the unexpected caress . his lips were soft yet firm , but kissing her was wholly inappropriate . she was about to say so when something prodded at her lips . evelinde tried to pull back , but his hand was at the back of her head , preventing her retreat . suddenly she found her mouth invaded by his tongue . her first instinct was to push him away , but then his tongue rasped along hers , and evelinde stilled again . the caress was surprisingly pleasant . she found herself holding on to his arms rather than pushing him away , and her eyes closed as a little sigh slipped from her mouth to his . no one had ever kissed evelinde . no one would have dared . she had never left d'aumesbery and , as the daughter of the lord , was forbidden to dally with the knights and servants of the castle . this was a first for her , and she really was n't sure if she liked this kissing business . it was interesting , and was causing little stirs of excitement in her , but they were faint and well overshadowed by her confusion . evelinde was n't terribly disappointed when he broke the kiss . but he did n't release her as she expected , instead his mouth simply trailed its way across her uninjured cheek . | [["ye", 5], ["yed", 5], ["bruise", 18], ["yer", 25], ["hip", 29], ["hips", 29], ["bite", 47], ["lip", 55], ["lipped", 55], ["try", 65], ["tryed", 65], ["tried", 65], ["pretend", 76], ["pretendest", 76], ["anywhere", 93], ["else", 98], ["gaze", 120], ["gazes", 120], ["rise", 125], ["risen", 125], ["rose", 125], ["along", 131], ["side", 140], ["sidest", 140], ["hand", 151], ["follow", 161], ["following", 161], ["path", 170], ["pause", 185], ["pausing", 185], ["chest", 216], ["left", 236], ["leave", 236], ["breast", 243], ["breasted", 243], ["breasting", 243], ["action", 256], ["stir", 264], ["stirs", 264], ["stirred", 264], ["odd", 271], ["tingling", 280], ["skin", 295], ["glance", 309], ["glanced", 309], ["confusion", 329], ["bruise", 344], ["bruising", 344], ["fall", 367], ["falls", 367], ["water", 380], ["way", 403], ["ways", 403], ["see", 416], ["chemise", 436], ["bruise", 451], ["bruises", 451], ["thought", 480], ["thoughts", 480], ["die", 485], ["died", 485], ["see", 496], ["saw", 496], ["still", 511], ["damp", 516], ["damps", 516], ["damped", 516], ["transparent", 540], ["clearly", 560], ["several", 577], ["dark", 582], ["patch", 590], ["patching", 590], ["patches", 590], ["cling", 611], ["clinging", 611], ["cloth", 617], ["large", 637], ["another", 684], ["even", 689], ["evens", 689], ["big", 696], ["bigs", 696], ["bigger", 696], ["rib", 715], ["ribs", 715], ["dark", 769], ["display", 800], ["displayed", 800], ["shift", 818], ["gold", 838], ["golds", 838], ["apex", 850], ["thigh", 864], ["thighs", 864], ["stood", 870], ["stand", 870], ["standest", 870], ["pale", 891], ["gasp", 905], ["gasps", 905], ["horror", 915], ["catch", 922], ["catches", 922], ["catched", 922], ["caught", 922], ["throat", 936], ["pull", 969], ["away", 974], ["cover", 984], ["take", 1006], ["taken", 1006], ["hold", 1011], ["arm", 1022], ["peer", 1035], ["peered", 1035], ["distractedly", 1048], ["turn", 1077], ["turned", 1077], ["slightly", 1086], ["see", 1101], ["seen", 1101], ["early", 1127], ["result", 1140], ["resultest", 1140], ["tumble", 1154], ["river", 1167], ["fall", 1186], ["falls", 1186], ["falling", 1186], ["horse", 1201], ["horsed", 1201], ["suppose", 1216], ["supposed", 1216], ["issue", 1259], ["issues", 1259], ["moment", 1273], ["like", 1280], ["near", 1289], ["nudity", 1296], ["nudities", 1296], ["lean", 1313], ["leans", 1313], ["leaned", 1313], ["little", 1322], ["close", 1329], ["closer", 1329], ["upper", 1346], ["well", 1357], ["wells", 1357], ["better", 1357], ["suck", 1375], ["sucking", 1375], ["sucked", 1375], ["gulp", 1394], ["gulps", 1394], ["air", 1401], ["airs", 1401], ["airing", 1401], ["breath", 1414], ["breathest", 1414], ["blew", 1426], ["blow", 1426], ["blowest", 1426], ["blowing", 1426], ["hot", 1430], ["sweet", 1440], ["chill", 1455], ["chills", 1455], ["chilling", 1455], ["chilled", 1455], ["nipple", 1462], ["nipples", 1462], ["effect", 1500], ["almost", 1511], ["shocking", 1520], ["completely", 1548], ["hold", 1564], ["holding", 1564], ["examine", 1590], ["examined", 1590], ["injury", 1601], ["take", 1611], ["took", 1611], ["exceptionally", 1628], ["long", 1633], ["longs", 1633], ["time", 1638], ["much", 1654], ["long", 1661], ["longs", 1661], ["whole", 1712], ["wholes", 1712], ["inhale", 1742], ["inhaling", 1742], ["exhale", 1755], ["exhaling", 1755], ["send", 1765], ["sending", 1765], ["warm", 1774], ["puff", 1780], ["puffs", 1780], ["puffed", 1780], ["tremble", 1806], ["trembles", 1806], ["tingle", 1855], ["tingles", 1855], ["go", 1860], ["goest", 1860], ["went", 1860], ["suddenly", 1896], ["raise", 1903], ["raised", 1903], ["run", 1917], ["finger", 1926], ["lightly", 1934], ["around", 1941], ["discoloration", 1959], ["wrist", 1986], ["brush", 1994], ["brushest", 1994], ["brushed", 1994], ["sure", 2056], ["accidental", 2074], ["accidentals", 2074], ["notice", 2103], ["rather", 2145], ["startling", 2155], ["close", 2168], ["closed", 2168], ["eye", 2177], ["eyed", 2177], ["eyes", 2177], ["pleasure", 2196], ["roll", 2203], ["rolled", 2203], ["body", 2220], ["bodied", 2220], ["find", 2230], ["finding", 2230], ["tear", 2252], ["teared", 2252], ["torn", 2252], ["put", 2268], ["putting", 2268], ["space", 2279], ["spaced", 2279], ["spacing", 2279], ["stay", 2304], ["staying", 2304], ["put", 2308], ["enjoy", 2317], ["enjoyed", 2317], ["astonishing", 2341], ["finally", 2380], ["release", 2389], ["released", 2389], ["unclasp", 2411], ["unclasping", 2411], ["leg", 2420], ["legs", 2420], ["open", 2433], ["opened", 2433], ["find", 2450], ["stood", 2463], ["stand", 2463], ["standest", 2463], ["standing", 2463], ["regain", 2497], ["enough", 2504], ["sense", 2518], ["senses", 2518], ["go", 2524], ["goest", 2524], ["gown", 2538], ["gowns", 2538], ["gowning", 2538], ["draw", 2547], ["draws", 2547], ["drawn", 2547], ["clasp", 2586], ["clasped", 2586], ["head", 2595], ["tilt", 2618], ["tilting", 2618], ["tilted", 2618], ["face", 2627], ["circle", 2682], ["jaw", 2701], ["jaws", 2701], ["jawed", 2701], ["jawest", 2701], ["growl", 2742], ["growls", 2742], ["growled", 2742], ["oh", 2750], ["breathes", 2773], ["breathed", 2773], ["apparently", 2800], ["follow", 2809], ["followed", 2809], ["edge", 2818], ["edges", 2818], ["past", 2837], ["corner", 2848], ["lip", 2860], ["lipped", 2860], ["lips", 2860], ["seem", 2931], ["seeming", 2931], ["untangle", 2943], ["untangled", 2943], ["tongue", 2954], ["tonguing", 2954], ["say", 2968], ["sayest", 2968], ["trail", 2993], ["trailed", 2993], ["beautiful", 3029], ["beautifulest", 3029], ["lass", 3041], ["murmur", 3058], ["murmurest", 3058], ["murmured", 3058], ["peer", 3068], ["peering", 3068], ["trace", 3129], ["tracing", 3129], ["whisper", 3168], ["whispered", 3168], ["think", 3191], ["thinkest", 3191], ["smile", 3214], ["tug", 3221], ["tugging", 3221], ["tugged", 3221], ["right", 3253], ["rightest", 3253], ["mouth", 3270], ["mouthed", 3270], ["cover", 3278], ["covered", 3278], ["stiffen", 3304], ["stiffens", 3304], ["stiffened", 3304], ["unexpected", 3322], ["caress", 3329], ["soft", 3350], ["yet", 3354], ["firm", 3359], ["kiss", 3373], ["kisses", 3373], ["kissest", 3373], ["kissing", 3373], ["wholly", 3388], ["inappropriate", 3402], ["prod", 3451], ["prods", 3451], ["back", 3493], ["prevent", 3549], ["preventest", 3549], ["preventing", 3549], ["retreat", 3561], ["retreatest", 3561], ["find", 3582], ["found", 3582], ["invade", 3600], ["invaded", 3600], ["first", 3626], ["firstest", 3626], ["instinct", 3635], ["push", 3647], ["rasp", 3685], 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["broke", 4382], ["kiss", 4391], ["kisses", 4391], ["kissest", 4391], ["release", 4416], ["expect", 4436], ["expected", 4436], ["instead", 4446], ["simply", 4463], ["across", 4486], ["cheek", 4506], ["cheeks", 4506]] |
a moment ago , he 'd slammed the truck in park with a curse and attacked , holding her captive to him in an embrace that had her sprawled across his front seat , one leg thrown over his lap . she threaded her fingers through his hair , holding him to her . the tickling ache of his suction on her skin was driving her wild , and she tilted her h*ps desperately , trying to grind against him . he rewarded her by sliding his hand up the leg of her shorts . his mouth released her , but continued to slide over her damp flesh . `` i should n't touch you , '' he said , sounding gruff and unbelievably sexy . `` i should leave you so hot that you 'll come the second my tongue touches that sweet p**sy . '' despite his words , he slid his fingers under her panties , the outside edge of his index finger grazing her throbbing clit . `` fuck , you 're soaked . '' drawing devastatingly slow circles , he spread the wetness he found through her folds . outside , rain began pattering against the windows again . she arched against him , so aroused she hurt . `` please , brian , faster . '' he whispered , keeping up the same torturous rhythm . `` until we 're safe and warm and alone in bed with the whole night ahead ? until i can make you come over and over ... '' `` just once , make me come just once , right now . '' `` hmm , i 'm not convinced ... '' she plunged her hand down over his . `` if you do n't , i 'll do it by myself . '' `` you have to drive in a few minutes , anyway . `` you touch yourself in front of me and i 'll pull over and have your knees crammed around your ears in a f**king nanosecond . `` maybe that 's what i want , '' she challenged , his words spiking a thrill in her chest . `` at this point , i do n't think it is . '' `` please , i 'm in pain . `` oh , baby ... '' gently , he increased his motion between her legs and she moved her hand , relaxing back against his arm holding her semi-upright . i 'm in pain , too , i want you so much . '' `` i 'll do anything you want , just- '' `` shh . if the line of cars decided to move right now , she was going to scream . or she might scream anyway . people kept threading between the stopped vehicles , and brian must have noticed her following them nervously with her eyes . `` they ca n't see where my hand is , '' he murmured , working her a little faster with every passing second . she undulated against him , her head falling back . `` i do n't think i care too much . '' just as her thighs tightened , as the pleasure swelled until it dwarfed everything else , he slowed , widening the circumference of his motions and holding her at the precipice until she wanted to cry and beat at his shoulders . `` the cars are moving , baby . '' `` to hell with the cars ! '' `` but i have to drive . '' `` you 'd better drive me first . '' he laughed and quickened again , going after her hard until she exploded against him , the ache wrenching her in two before gradually dissipating to more tolerable levels . breathless and sighing , she collapsed on the seat . that had been two weeks in the making , she thought , remembering their very hot interlude outside the bar , when she 'd so stupidly run away from him . he straightened and got behind the wheel , putting the truck in gear with a cat-who-ate-the-canary smile curving those beautiful lips . they moved forward , and she fidgeted and smoothed her hands down her body , still feeling wild and wanton from his touch and the amazing orgasm he 'd given her . her foot-bare because her flip-flop was somewhere on the floor-was in his lap and she used it to graze the massive erection straining his fly . she wanted to climb up on her knees and suck him right here . gathering her annihilated strength , she drew up beside him and slid her hand between his legs . `` baby , '' he groaned , one of his hands tightening on the wheel and the other grasping her wandering fingers . `` as much as i want that , i do n't need to spend myself yet . i want to do it inside you when i 'm making you mine for the first time . '' she leaned her forehead against his shoulder , trembling . `` if that 's okay with you , '' he finished . she wanted to be his , if only for tonight , no matter what the future held . `` that 's definitely okay with me . '' with that , she settled next to him , sitting in silence for a while as they inched forward in the line and the wipers intermittently cleared the windshield of the rain drooling down . he reached over and linked his fingers through hers , their hands resting against her bare thigh . | [["moment", 8], ["ago", 12], ["slam", 28], ["slammed", 28], ["truck", 38], ["park", 46], ["parks", 46], ["curse", 59], ["cursed", 59], ["attack", 72], ["attacked", 72], ["hold", 82], ["holding", 82], ["captive", 94], ["embrace", 115], ["sprawl", 137], ["sprawls", 137], ["sprawled", 137], ["across", 144], ["front", 154], ["seat", 159], ["leg", 169], ["throw", 176], ["thrown", 176], ["lap", 189], ["laps", 189], ["lapping", 189], ["thread", 204], ["threaded", 204], ["finger", 216], ["fingers", 216], ["hair", 233], ["ache", 274], ["ached", 274], ["suction", 289], ["suctioned", 289], ["skin", 301], ["drive", 313], ["driving", 313], ["wild", 322], ["wildest", 322], ["tilt", 339], ["tilting", 339], ["tilted", 339], ["desperately", 360], ["try", 369], ["tryed", 369], ["trying", 369], ["grind", 378], ["reward", 404], ["rewarded", 404], ["slid", 419], ["sliding", 419], ["hand", 428], ["short", 453], ["shorts", 453], ["mouth", 465], ["mouthed", 465], ["release", 474], ["released", 474], ["continue", 494], ["continued", 494], ["slid", 503], ["damp", 517], ["damps", 517], ["damped", 517], ["flesh", 523], ["fleshest", 523], ["touch", 547], ["touching", 547], ["say", 564], ["sayest", 564], ["said", 564], ["sound", 575], ["sounding", 575], ["gruff", 581], ["unbelievably", 598], ["sexy", 603], ["left", 623], ["leave", 623], ["hot", 634], ["come", 652], ["second", 663], ["seconded", 663], ["tongue", 673], ["tonguing", 673], ["touch", 681], ["touching", 681], ["touches", 681], ["sweet", 692], ["despite", 711], ["word", 721], ["words", 721], ["slid", 731], ["pantie", 761], ["panties", 761], ["outside", 775], ["edge", 780], ["edges", 780], ["index", 793], ["indices", 793], ["indexes", 793], ["finger", 800], ["graze", 808], ["clit", 827], ["clits", 827], ["fuck", 837], ["soak", 854], ["soaks", 854], ["soaked", 854], ["draw", 867], ["draws", 867], ["drawn", 867], ["drawing", 867], ["devastatingly", 881], ["slow", 886], ["circle", 894], ["circles", 894], ["spread", 906], ["wetness", 918], ["find", 927], ["found", 927], ["fold", 945], ["folds", 945], ["rain", 962], ["begin", 968], ["began", 968], ["patter", 978], ["pattering", 978], ["window", 998], ["windows", 998], ["arch", 1017], ["arched", 1017], ["arouse", 1042], ["aroused", 1042], ["hurt", 1051], ["hurts", 1051], ["hurting", 1051], ["please", 1063], ["brian", 1071], ["fast", 1080], ["whisper", 1098], ["whispered", 1098], ["keep", 1108], ["keepest", 1108], ["keeping", 1108], ["torturous", 1130], ["rhythm", 1137], ["rhythms", 1137], ["safe", 1160], ["safes", 1160], ["safed", 1160], ["warm", 1169], ["alone", 1179], ["bed", 1186], ["whole", 1201], ["wholes", 1201], ["night", 1207], ["ahead", 1213], ["right", 1308], ["rightest", 1308], ["hmm", 1324], ["plunge", 1364], ["plunged", 1364], ["drive", 1456], ["minute", 1473], ["minutes", 1473], ["anyway", 1482], ["pull", 1536], ["knee", 1561], ["knees", 1561], ["cram", 1569], ["crammed", 1569], ["around", 1576], ["ear", 1586], ["ears", 1586], ["nanosecond", 1610], ["nanoseconds", 1610], ["maybe", 1621], ["challenge", 1661], ["challenged", 1661], ["spike", 1681], ["spiking", 1681], ["thrill", 1690], ["chest", 1703], ["point", 1722], ["think", 1739], ["thinkest", 1739], ["pain", 1775], ["oh", 1783], ["baby", 1790], ["gently", 1804], ["increase", 1819], ["increased", 1819], ["motion", 1830], ["leg", 1847], ["legs", 1847], ["move", 1861], ["moved", 1861], ["relax", 1881], ["relaxed", 1881], ["relaxing", 1881], ["back", 1886], ["arm", 1902], ["semi", 1919], ["upright", 1927], ["much", 1969], ["anything", 1995], ["shh", 2022], ["line", 2036], ["car", 2044], ["cars", 2044], ["decide", 2052], ["decided", 2052], ["move", 2060], ["go", 2086], ["goest", 2086], ["going", 2086], ["scream", 2096], ["screams", 2096], ["may", 2111], ["mays", 2111], ["mayest", 2111], ["might", 2111], ["people", 2134], ["keep", 2139], ["keepest", 2139], ["kept", 2139], ["thread", 2149], ["threading", 2149], ["stop", 2169], ["stopped", 2169], ["vehicle", 2178], ["vehicled", 2178], ["vehicles", 2178], ["must", 2195], ["musts", 2195], ["notice", 2208], ["noticed", 2208], ["follow", 2222], ["following", 2222], ["nervously", 2237], ["eye", 2251], ["eyed", 2251], ["eyes", 2251], ["ca", 2264], ["cas", 2264], ["see", 2272], ["murmur", 2306], ["murmurest", 2306], ["murmured", 2306], ["work", 2316], ["wrought", 2316], ["working", 2316], ["little", 2329], ["every", 2347], ["pass", 2355], ["passing", 2355], ["undulate", 2378], ["undulating", 2378], ["undulated", 2378], ["head", 2401], ["fall", 2409], ["falls", 2409], ["falling", 2409], ["thigh", 2474], ["thighs", 2474], ["tighten", 2484], ["tightens", 2484], ["tightenest", 2484], ["tightened", 2484], ["pleasure", 2502], ["swell", 2510], 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3467], ["orgasm", 3474], ["orgasms", 3474], ["give", 3486], ["given", 3486], ["foot", 3501], ["flip", 3523], ["flipping", 3523], ["flop", 3528], ["flops", 3528], ["flopping", 3528], ["somewhere", 3542], ["floor", 3555], ["use", 3583], ["used", 3583], ["graze", 3595], ["massive", 3607], ["erection", 3616], ["strain", 3626], ["strains", 3626], ["straining", 3626], ["fly", 3634], ["flys", 3634], ["climb", 3656], ["suck", 3681], ["sucking", 3681], ["gather", 3708], ["gatherest", 3708], ["annihilate", 3724], ["annihilated", 3724], ["strength", 3733], ["draw", 3744], ["draws", 3744], ["drawn", 3744], ["drew", 3744], ["beside", 3754], ["groan", 3819], ["groans", 3819], ["groanest", 3819], ["groaning", 3819], ["groaned", 3819], ["tighten", 3849], ["tightens", 3849], ["tightenest", 3849], ["tightening", 3849], ["grasp", 3885], ["grasped", 3885], ["grasping", 3885], ["wander", 3899], ["wandering", 3899], ["need", 3951], ["needest", 3951], ["spend", 3960], ["spends", 3960], ["spendest", 3960], 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weve lived long enough that we know of every speck of dirt on this world . i agree that its weird that i have a connection of sort with the two locations weve been sent , but im choosing to believe thats a coincidence . i cant think of a single reason why we were sent here twice . at least i was saying that was what i believed . if i thought any different , i wouldve had to consider that malphas was making the battle even more personal . it was bad enough that id allowed my sons and one of my daughters to join the troops . they were lucky i hadnt seen anything go wrong in their futures . if i wouldve seen them even get a paper cut , id have found a way to lock them in a room somewhere . the different things id seen over the years indicated people were more than likely going to get hurt , but never them . if were just hoping around to places you know about , cant you tell us where the big battle will be and take us there ? i have a feeling were going to get really tired of this , real soon . liam sounded antsy . i closed the pocket watch and tucked it into my pocket before i turned to look at him , and everyone else standing around as they waited for joseph to get back . i knew joseph had made it to his men and was already coming back , so it wasnt like we had a ton of time with nothing to do , and i was sure liam new that . if mak hadnt shown us the watch , i couldve kept everyone busy doing some quick searching for clues . since they knew the score , the chances of me keeping them occupied were slim . did the she-devil ever show back up ? maybe shed like to share what she knows about the situation , because im sure she knows more than shes let on . i didnt mind eva being gone , but if it was going to cause liam to be weird , i could put cotton balls in my ears and try to tune her out . weird probably wasnt the right word , but i didnt think what i heard in his voice was because he wanted to get the fighting started . i knew he was antsy for that , but it wasnt something he worried over . she sent me a little message last night saying we were going to have to deal with things without her , at least for a while . i know shes not your favorite person , but i felt better with her around . having one of the fates right here with us tends to do wonders for morale support . he shrugged his shoulders and tried to pretend it wasnt a big deal . i understood why he felt the way he did , but it was something wed have to agree to disagree about , because i thought the bickering between the two of us kept people on edge . im not exactly sure what she couldve found more important than doing what she was capable of to make sure malphas doesnt get the upper hand as he has us jumping through his hoops . my voice showed next to zero emotions . i knew going into things that eva was the last person you wanted to have to depend on having your back . thats probably why im a little perturbed by her right now . calling to say something more important came up when there are lives at stake doesnt sit well with me . i thought about screaming halleluiah , but kept my excitement to myself . anytime eva did something to tick liam off , the happier i got . i felt nates hand on my shoulder , so i turned to look his way . even though he was being a grump when he said it , liam had a good point about trying to figure out where the big battle is going to take place from your memories . you already mentioned weve been everywhere on the planet , but theres got to be something we can use to jump ahead a few steps . i like that plan , rick chimed in . if hes going to send us around to fifty different places over a months time , id really like to avoid that . youre preaching to the choir , both of you . do you really think id be standing in a cornfield if i knew where we were supposed to meet up with malphas ? there were times i thought my conversations went in circles , and i was definitely in the middle of one of those times . everyone knew id racked my brain trying to figure out where to go . i wasnt hiding the fact that i hated the idea of a scavenger hunt just as much as everyone else did . maybe theyre right and the places well go are all places youve been , mak said softly . if thats the case , maybe i can assist helping you awaken the visions youve seen . i didnt know exactly what he was thinking , but using the words awaken and vision probably werent the best ideas . it made me think of the different scenes id watched when i started regaining my memories , none of which i had control over my body for , by far my least favorite thing in the world . | [["live", 10], ["lived", 10], ["long", 15], ["longs", 15], ["enough", 22], ["know", 35], ["knowest", 35], ["every", 44], ["speck", 50], ["dirt", 58], ["world", 72], ["agree", 82], ["weird", 97], ["connection", 122], ["sort", 130], ["two", 143], ["twos", 143], ["location", 153], ["locations", 153], ["send", 168], ["sent", 168], ["choose", 186], ["choosing", 186], ["believe", 197], 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`` let me do yours , '' she said , balling up his attempt and shoving it in her purse . then she wiped her hand on a tissue . `` nobody can read your handwriting . '' `` they can so . '' harry looked peeved . `` if i print , and i was pr -- '' `` may we have another name tag , please ? '' lainie asked sweetly . thalia placed another peel-and-stick name tag on the desk . lainie carefully printed f-r-e-d on the tag , peeled off the backing , and slapped the sticky side onto harry 's silk-covered chest . mm , that felt good , pressing her hand right over his heart . `` there you go , freddy , '' she said . harry looked down at his chest and apparently the light dawned , because he glanced at her with understanding in his big brown eyes . lainie printed r-o-n-a on her tag , peeled off the back and smoothed it over the shirt the real rona had loaned her . funny that rona had hair about the color of the wig lainie was wearing . her scalp was starting to itch a little , and she 'd be glad to get into their room and take the wig off . and what else will you be taking off , lainie girl ? she shivered , still not sure whether sex with harry was a great idea or the worst one she 'd had in five years . harry had started filling out the form , and thanks to her intervention on the name tag thing he seemed to be with the program . he used his mother 's condo address and telephone number . then she watched him hesitate over her age and was gratified when he listed her as twenty-five instead of her true age of twenty-seven . then he put down his age , and lainie found out he was thirty-three . no wonder his mother was impatient about grandkids . harry needed to settle down . what he did n't need was the kind of mess she 'd made of her life , which was another reason to avoid sex , or at least make it clear the fun would be temporary . `` fred and rona , you 're a sight for sore eyes ! '' lainie jumped , nearly colliding with harry as they both turned to face their salesman and his texas twang . small and wiry , dudley looked as if he 'd been dried in the sun like a piece of beef jerky . he wore a long-sleeved cowboy shirt , boot-cut jeans , and a battered cowboy hat , all of which looked authentic . except for the lack of a horse and six-guns , he could have stepped right out of the eighteen-hundreds . `` dudley shearson , '' he said , sticking out a weathered hand first to lainie and then to harry . `` we 're gon na have more fun than a hog in mud today . i hope you brought your checkbook , 'cause you 're gon na need it ! '' dudley was a hand-pumper . `` good to meet you , dudley . '' harry extracted his hand from dudley 's enthusiastic grip . `` and we probably should get started with- '' `` oh , we 'll get started , all right . we 'll get started with a bang . you 're gon na love what i 'm about to show you , rona and fred . follow me , folks . '' dudley picked up the registration form from the counter and took off at a good clip toward the rear doors of the building . `` henderson , huh ? i have me a cousin who lives in henderson . ray atkins . he 's a good 'ol boy , deals in those portable toilets they use for construction and special events , ya know ? like rock concerts and such . handles the overflow . overflow ! '' dudley cackled happily at his own joke . lainie glanced at harry and raised her eyebrows . harry shrugged as if to say it did n't matter how weird their salesman was . they were n't in the market for a time-share . `` ray , he never goes out on the strip , though . '' dudley opened the door and gestured for lainie and harry to go out ahead of him . `` says he would n't be caught dead there . just a tourist trap , a place to fleece you out of all your hard-earned cash . '' lainie kept her mouth shut . it did n't matter if dudley insulted his prospects or not , since the prospects were bogus . once they were on a walkway outside , dudley glanced at their registration form and did a double-take . `` oh , say , you two work for the nirvana ! now there 's a classy place . yessir , i 've been to the nirvana , and i give it the dudley shearson seal of approval . | [["let", 6], ["lets", 6], ["say", 32], ["sayest", 32], ["said", 32], ["ball", 42], ["balling", 42], ["attempt", 57], ["shove", 69], ["shoving", 69], ["purse", 85], ["wipe", 102], ["wiped", 102], ["hand", 111], ["tissue", 123], ["nobody", 135], ["read", 144], ["reads", 144], ["handwriting", 161], ["harry", 192], ["harried", 192], ["look", 199], ["looked", 199], ["peeve", 206], ["peeving", 206], ["peeved", 206], ["print", 222], ["pr", 237], ["may", 250], ["mays", 250], ["mayest", 250], ["another", 266], ["name", 271], ["tag", 275], ["tags", 275], ["please", 284], ["ask", 302], ["asked", 302], 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she never had before , she didnt know why she should start now , with the man who was going to give her everything she wanted at her feet . to cry would be to accept . to cry would be to admit defeat . and if it had been one husband for five years ? would it be time to admit defeat then ? in anger , in fear . shed gone through this with herself , over and over . never with anyone else , though , and she pushed her anger down to haltingly say , it wasnt five years . husband number one did his duty . her smile lifted her lips , her stomach let go of its ill emotions , and she sank onto her knees . the old codger , she agreed . and then the merchant , sinclair said , skipping over the heartbreak of a dead child . because children died and women somehow , someday , pushed themselves from their bed and learned to live with only half a heart . she said , he could have , should have . one year and no child . that is not so unusual . and then there was the italian stallion . who liked men . i had hoped ... when i finally realized what the problem was , i thought i could change his mind . and then there was dear bertie . i dont think i want to know any of his secrets . dear bertie didnt have any secrets . he was a good and kind man , more than a woman like me ever deserved . he was year two . and i will agree it is worrisome that there was no child . but still nowhere near impossible . and then year three was the young whippersnapper . of the year we were married , he was able to enjoy our marital bed two times . he had a serious drinking problem and his member suffered for it . sinclairs lips pulled back in a grimace . remind me to give up drink . he was a sweet boy , but very unhappy , and i dont think our marriage helped any . so it was only two years . not nearly long enough for me to give up . sinclair reached behind him , pulling his greatcoat over to the fire and smoothing it out on the floor . he lay down on it , holding his arm up for elinor to snuggle down with him , and when she did , the warm fire on one side and his warm body on the other , she closed her eyes and nearly fell asleep . he said lightly , you cant fool me , elinor . you feign sleep but i know , youre thinking of solicitors and planning your next move . you havent given me what i want . not a selfish lover , was george sinclair . he whispered , even if i give you a child , i cant marry you . you cant marry me unless the countess breeds . i wont marry you unless i breed . and if you begin breeding and the countess doesnt ? i will have to make you marry me . she opened her eyes to smile at him and run her hand down his chest . i cant give that to you , elinor . fair warning , sinclair . you play to crush ; i remember . you think you can twirl me around your finger like all your other husbands ? make me forget my brother and my duty and cling only to you ? she pulled a pin from her disheveled hair and then another and she watched him as the locks tumbled down . she said , yes , and georges cock rose in agreement . he murmured , god help me if youre right , and leaned in to kiss her , to cover her and love her again . to distract her , if only for a little while . because he was right ; it was her against his world . her only play was to make him come to her side . to make him turn against his world . how did one make a man give you what you wanted when youd already given him what he wanted ? elinor had figured it out . she still didnt know if she could do it . she would make him give her his heart . nine sinclair came to visit elinor the next evening . and on the third evening , elinor arrived home to find him tucked into her drawing room , reading , her dogs lying happily at his feet . he pulled her down into his lap and she went too easily , too happily . she said , ill be giving jones strict instructions not to let you in again unless i am here to receive you . he kissed her , a whole day apart too long . elinor pulled back before they got too serious . she was tired of the hard floor and the fire burning itself out . tonight she would take sinclair to her bedroom . he tucked her into his side , telling her of his day with his brother . the tedious , never-ending details one needed to know to run an earldom . he exclaimed over the stewards and the running of them and she said , it is the same as your frippery . you have lots of people taking care of their little part and you have to take care of them . hed told her all about the hours hed spent scouring the markets and the excitement he felt when he found something special . | [["never", 9], ["know", 37], ["knowest", 37], ["start", 58], ["man", 77], ["mans", 77], ["manned", 77], ["go", 91], ["goest", 91], ["going", 91], ["give", 99], ["everything", 114], ["foot", 137], ["feet", 137], ["cry", 146], ["accept", 165], ["admit", 192], ["defeat", 199], ["defeatest", 199], ["husband", 232], ["husbanding", 232], ["five", 241], ["fived", 241], ["year", 247], ["years", 247], ["time", 266], 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he beamed at his patients like he was in love with them all . he greeted athletes foot with enthusiasm and broken fingers as if they were a joy to treat . skin lesions brought sunny reassuring smiles , and ingrown toenails were no problem at all . today , even pulmonary disorders were part of bens jaunt through the sunshine . settling in alright now , dr stein ? said fiona . oh , please , fiona . call me ben . but it sets a bad example to the patients . better to retain that barrier between them and the doctors , dont you think ? there was something slightly meaningful in the way she said that , and it made ben turn and look her in the eye . i think its good to be more human with them . puts them at their ease . fiona looked at him . over the top of her specs . you havent been in general practice very long , have you ? i was a hospital doctor . most doctors want to be hospital doctors . and your cv was very impressive i saw it when the applications came in . what on earth made you choose to come here ? ben gave her a radiant smile . i answered that one at the interview , fiona . fiona smiled back , rather too knowingly . if you remember , i wasnt there . i would have remembered if you had been , fiona . how could i forget a lovely face like yours ? '' dont flatter me , doctor . it doesnt work on me . no of course not , youre much too intelligent . for the sheer joy of treating the general public , he said , grandiosely . he picked up his next patient file . mrs bradshaw . with the boils . ask the nurse to bring me something to lance them with , will you ? ugh , said fiona . mrs bradshaws boils . anyone would be thinking youd be desperate for your day off . im counting the hours , he said . yes , he said , excitedly . chelmsford prison . then he sailed away on a cloud of irrepressible happiness while crabby old fiona paged the nurse . fiona shook her head after hed gone . and who do you know at chelmsford prison , i wonder ? she tapped a name into her computer . and waded through quite a few entries until she came to one that had been closed six years ago . prison ben was excited about the visit to the prison . layla had agreed that he could come in and meet her father . he had promised he would behave himself and refrain from asking unpopular questions like how long have you got left to serve ? they parked the car and joined the long queue of people waiting to go inside the prison . its a bit like getting into an exclusive nightclub , he remarked , and she frowned at him . it was a grim place . angled stone walls and barbed wire . sets of doors that only opened one at a time , just like at the zoo . together they went through the security checks . it amused ben that they wanted to check to see if he was carrying a gun . or if layla was carrying it for him . they went into a big hall with lots of rectangular tables set out , and she explained how it worked . on one side of each table , there was a red chair . on the other side of each table , there were two blue chairs . red for prisoners . blue for visitors . just in case anybody got confused . what happens if i sit in the red one ? do i get a uniform with arrows on ? that sobered him up . he didnt want to lose sight of his objective . and her body they found an empty table . ben sat down in a blue chair next to layla . and she explained that when everyone was seated , the prisoners would arrive . this is quite civilized , he said . not what i was expecting at all . she seemed to be dreading the moment when her father came face to face with him . it 's a prison , that 's all . glass screens . armed guards . that would be high security . this ones only medium . presumably your father didnt murder anybody , then ? aggravated robbery with violence , she said . transferred here for good behaviour . ah , said ben . well what did one say ? he couldnt imagine how it would feel if his own father lived in a place like this . he pictured morrie stein respectable businessman , much-loved husband and father banged up for some crime with a horrible name . oh , poor layla . no wonder she felt so awful . he smiled encouragingly at her , to show her that he cared . look at you , she said in a softly reproachful tone . sitting there in your expensive coat . my dad 's going to freak when he sees you . ben shrugged apologetically . yes , the black coat and the alpaca scarf probably spoke volumes about the kind of man he was . | [["beam", 9], ["beamed", 9], ["patient", 25], ["patients", 25], ["like", 30], ["love", 45], ["greet", 72], ["greeting", 72], ["greeted", 72], ["athlete", 81], ["athletes", 81], ["foot", 86], ["enthusiasm", 102], ["finger", 121], ["fingers", 121], ["joy", 143], ["joys", 143], ["joyed", 143], ["treat", 152], ["treats", 152], ["treatest", 152], ["skin", 159], ["lesion", 167], ["lesions", 167], ["bring", 175], ["brought", 175], ["sunny", 181], ["smile", 199], ["smiles", 199], ["ingrown", 213], ["toenail", 222], ["toenailing", 222], ["toenails", 222], ["problem", 238], ["today", 253], ["even", 260], ["evens", 260], ["pulmonary", 270], ["disorder", 280], ["disorders", 280], ["part", 290], ["parting", 290], ["jaunt", 304], ["sunshine", 325], ["settle", 336], ["settling", 336], ["alright", 347], ["dr", 356], ["drs", 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`` i 'm colonel joe mackenzie , out of nellis , '' he said . his deep voice carried that unmistakable note of command . `` i need to get back to the base as soon as possible . '' the state trooper switched off the spot and got out of the car , `` we 've been searching for you , sir , '' he said in a respectful tone . military personnel or not , there was something about joe mackenzie that elicited that response . `` are you all right , injured in any way ? a van was found- '' `` we know about the van . we were in it , '' joe said dryly . `` we were ordered by the governor to give every assistance to the military in finding you . a statewide search was started this morning . '' joe put his arm around caroline and ushered her into the back seat ; then he went around and took a seat up front . caroline found herself staring at the back of his head through steel mesh . `` hey , '' she said indignantly . joe glanced back and began to laugh . `` finally , '' he said , `` i 've found a way to control you . '' `` the sensor alarms went wild , '' captain hodge said . `` once when ms. evans entered the work area after she was already recorded as being inside , and again when you entered without your id tag , colonel . the first guard was there within two minutes , but the building was empty . they must have dragged both of you out immediately and then panicked . they loaded you in mr. gilchrist 's van and bolted . `` ms. evans ' quarters were checked and she was discovered missing . i did n't know anyone could get out a window that small , '' he said , glancing at her . `` i 'm not very thick , '' she replied coolly . he cleared his throat at the look in her eyes . `` i tried to notify you , colonel , and found that you were missing , too , though there was no record of you leaving the base . nor had ms. evans attempted to leave . there was a record , however , of mr. gilchrist leaving immediately after the alarm had sounded . '' `` the other guy must have been hidden in back with us , '' joe said . `` he looked familiar , but at the same time i did n't know him . '' hodge looked at his ever-present clipboard . `` his name was carl mabry . you 'd probably seen him in the control room . he was a civilian working with the radar . '' `` how did gilchrist get involved with him ? '' `` and there are others . have you found out anything about them ? '' they were sitting in his office . both he and caroline had been checked over by the medics and declared basically sound . somewhere along the line , caroline 's clothes had vanished and the well-meaning nurses had tried to stuff her into one of the too-revealing backless , shapeless gowns that were standard for every hospital . caroline 's sense of style had been outraged , but the green surgicals had appealed to her . she was wearing a set now and somehow looked dashing in them . `` evidently , gilchrist was recruited after he began work here , '' hodge said . `` mabry belonged to a radical group that opposed defense spending . they want the money for humanitarian purposes , even if they have to kill to get it . '' `` then just how , '' caroline asked in an awful tone , `` did he get security clearance ? '' `` i-uh , we 're still checking on that . but he did n't have clearance into the laser building . '' `` so how did he get in without triggering the alarms ? '' caroline snorted . `` the program has a major weakness . the alarm is set off by a body entering or leaving without a card-but not a card entering or leaving without a body . '' hodge 's hair was too short to pull , so he ran both hands over his crew-cut head . `` well , it 's obvious . i certainly did n't go into the building with cal when he was supposedly searching for my tag , but the computer said that i did , which means he must have had the tag with him and flashed it so the sensors would pick it up , thereby destroying any record that he had entered the building alone and discrediting my story of having misplaced my tag . there was n't anything cal did n't know about computers . he probably figured it out not long after he started work on base , testing it by swinging the tag through me doorway on a string , or something like that . if he 'd been caught , he was n't doing anything he would be arrested for , just playing with the computers like any hacker would . evidently he picked up my tag when i lost it , but left at the same time i did that day so the sensors were n't set off . | [["colonel", 15], ["joe", 19], ["joes", 19], ["mackenzie", 29], 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`` this is a lot to take in , '' she finally said . `` well , i love that you ended up here , brielle , '' joseph told her . `` there are good people in sterling . one of my best friends , martin whitman , lives here , along with bethel , eileen , and maggie . i 'm sure you 've met them all . '' he reached out his hand to clasp hers and added with a laugh , `` i 'm your uncle joseph , in case you got me and george confused . '' `` i do n't think i 'll mistake you with that voice , '' brielle said . everyone says i speak so loudly . i think i 'm quiet as a mouse , '' he replied , and she could n't tell whether he was joking . after the initial shock wore off , brielle was finally able to move , so she made them a pitcher of fresh lemonade , and the four of them spoke long into the evening . just before she went off to bed , she and her dad sat down together alone for the first time that day while joseph and george left to visit with old friends . `` we 're headed to see crew next . he 's our last stop , '' richard told her . crew and her father had probably been the ones to butt heads the most , but through this journey their father had sent them all on , the relationship of father and oldest son had improved greatly . brielle did n't know the words were out until she said them . `` well , of course i 'd love to have you join us , but is it a good time for you to take off ? '' `` yes , tony has everything under control here , and it will only be a few days . and ... '' she had to fight tears . `` i just need to get away for a bit . '' she was more than thankful when her father did n't ask her the questions she saw forming in his eyes . `` okay , peaches . we 'll head out at first light . do n't warn your brother . we like surprising all of you . it 's family drama at its best . '' now enough of all of that . tell me what your doctor has been saying . '' his lips tilted up a little bit more as he looked at her . `` i 'm going to need to have another surgery ... '' he began when she stopped him by holding up her hand . `` another surgery ? when was the first one ? why would you keep this from any of us ? '' she did n't want to yell at her father in the condition he was in , but at the same time , she could n't believe that he would keep something like this from them . `` i had my first surgery last year , and it did n't look good , so my previous doctor told me to get my affairs in order , which is what i set out to do with you and your brothers . then i moved to seattle and met my brothers . they did n't like the first prognosis and they knew another doctor , my current one . he had a different opinion . i 'll know more in a few months . for now , it 's best for all of us to not dwell on it . '' he gripped her hand as he spoke and looked at her with both hope and love in his eyes . she had a million questions , but she could see that he was tired . she 'd be with him all week , and one way or another she would find better answers . after giving her a big hug , her father went to the bedroom she kept for him , and for the first time in a week , brielle climbed the stairs not dreading her own cold bed . she would get away , take time to think , and figure out what she was going to do next . she did n't want to leave the ponderosa pines ranch , but she did n't know how she could stay with colt being her neighbor . maybe she should just offer to sell it to him . that 's what he really wanted , was n't it ? she went to bed that night and finally was granted a dreamless sleep . chapter thirty-five colt paced brielle 's front porch , feeling more like a fool the longer he waited . she 'd been absent an entire week - she 'd completely disappeared , and he had no idea where . when he first found out that she 'd left , he 'd thought for sure it was over , that he 'd lost her for good . not that he would have given up so easily . love like this did n't just disappear . if she moved away , he 'd follow her . even if it took months , years , decades , he would wait for her . he 'd barely slept during the last two weeks , his arms empty without her in them , his heart aching without her there to fill it . he sounded pathetic even to himself , but that was the way it was . | [["lot", 16], ["take", 24], ["finally", 44], ["say", 49], ["sayest", 49], ["said", 49], ["well", 59], ["wells", 59], ["love", 68], ["end", 83], ["ends", 83], ["endest", 83], ["ended", 83], ["joseph", 113], ["tell", 118], ["told", 118], ["good", 142], ["people", 149], ["sterling", 161], ["good", 178], ["best", 178], ["friend", 186], ["friends", 186], ["martin", 195], ["whitman", 203], ["live", 211], ["along", 224], ["bethel", 236], ["eileen", 245], ["maggie", 258], ["sure", 270], ["meet", 282], 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or they go in flocks , a massed thunder of wings to bear them up and away , wheeling through the sky like handsful of pepper grains thrown aloft , calling their way in vs of mournful courage toward the promise of a distant and problematic survival . in winter , the raptors draw apart unto themselves ; the songbirds flee away , all the color of the feathered world reduced to the brutal simplification of predator and prey , gray shadows passing overhead , with no more than a small bright drop of blood fallen back to earth here and there to mark the passing of life , leaving a drift of scattered feathers , borne on the wind . but as spring blooms , the birds grow drunk with love and the bushes riot with their songs . far , far into the night , darkness mutes but does not silence them , and small melodious conversations break out at all hours , invisible and strangely intimate in the dead of night , as though one overheard the lovemaking of strangers in the room next door . i moved closer to jamie , hearing the clear , sweet song of a thrush in the great red spruce that stood behind the house . it was still cold at night , but not with the bitter chill of winter ; rather with the sweet fresh cold of thawing earth and springing leaves , a cold that sent the blood tingling and made warm bodies seek one another , nesting . a rumbling snore echoed across the landing-another harbinger of spring . major macdonald , who had arrived mud-caked and wind-bitten the night before , bringing unwelcome news of the outside world . jamie stirred briefly at the sound , groaned , farted briefly , and lay still . he 'd stayed up late , entertaining the major-if entertainment was the word for it . i could hear lizzie and mrs. bug in the kitchen below , talking as they banged pots and slammed doors in hopes of rousing us . breakfast smells began to rise up the stairs , enticing , the bitter smell of roasting chicory spicing the thick warmth of buttered porridge . the sound of jamie 's breathing had changed , and i knew he was awake , though he still lay with his eyes closed . i did n't know whether this denoted an urge to continue the physical pleasure of sleep-or a marked disinclination to get up and deal with major macdonald . he resolved this doubt at once by rolling over , enveloping me in his arms , and moving his lower body against mine in a manner that made it obvious that , while physical pleasure was what was on his mind , he was quite through sleeping . he had n't reached the point of coherent speech yet , though , and nuzzled my ear , making small interrogatory hums in his throat . well , the major was still asleep , and the coffee-such as it was-would n't be ready for a bit . i hummed back , reached to the bedside table for a bit of almond cream , and commenced a slow and pleasurable rummage through the layers of bedclothes and nightshirt to apply it . some small while later , snorts and thumps across the hall denoted the resurrection of major macdonald , and the delectable scents of frying ham and potatoes with onions had joined the throng of olfactory stimuli . the sweet smell of almond cream was stronger , though . `` greased lightning , '' jamie said with a drowsy air of satisfaction . he was still in bed , lying on his side to watch me dress . i turned from my looking glass to eye him . `` me , i suppose . or were ye not thunderstruck , there at the end ? '' he laughed , almost silently , rustling the bedclothes . `` oh , you 've been talking to bree again , '' i said tolerantly . `` that particular figure of speech is a metaphor for extreme speed , not lubricated brilliance . '' i smiled at him in the glass as i brushed knots out of my hair . he had unplaited it while i was anointing him , and subsequent exertions had caused it to explode . come to think , it did faintly resemble the effects of electrocution . `` well , i can be fast , too , '' he said judiciously , sitting up and rubbing a hand through his own hair . `` but not first thing in the morning . there are worse ways to wake up , aye ? '' `` yes , much worse . '' sounds of hawking and spitting came from across the landing , followed by the distinctive sound of someone with very vigorous bladder function employing a chamber pot . `` is he staying long , did he say ? '' rising slowly , he stretched himself like a cat and then came across in his shirt to put his arms around me . i had n't yet poked up the fire , and the room was chilly ; his body was pleasantly warm . he rested his chin on top of my head , regarding our stacked reflections in the mirror . `` i 'll have to go , '' he said softly . `` tomorrow , perhaps . '' i stiffened a little , brush in hand . to the indians ? '' he nodded , eyes on mine . | [["go", 10], ["goest", 10], ["flock", 20], ["flocked", 20], ["flocks", 20], ["thunder", 39], ["wing", 48], ["wings", 48], ["bore", 56], ["bear", 56], ["bearest", 56], ["away", 73], ["wheel", 84], ["wheeled", 84], ["wheeling", 84], ["sky", 100], ["like", 105], ["handsful", 114], ["pepper", 124], ["peppered", 124], ["peppering", 124], ["grain", 131], ["grains", 131], ["throw", 138], ["thrown", 138], ["aloft", 144], ["call", 154], ["calling", 154], ["way", 164], ["ways", 164], ["vs", 170], ["mournful", 182], ["courage", 190], ["toward", 197], ["promise", 209], ["distant", 222], ["problematic", 238], ["survival", 247], ["winter", 259], ["raptor", 273], ["raptors", 273], ["draw", 278], ["draws", 278], ["drawn", 278], ["apart", 284], ["unto", 289], ["songbird", 316], ["songbirds", 316], ["flee", 321], ["flees", 321], ["color", 342], ["feather", 359], ["feathered", 359], ["world", 365], ["reduce", 373], ["reduced", 373], ["brutal", 387], ["simplification", 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his words were tentative from his position six seats down the table to my right . nate and i sat at the head of the table , with freddie directly to my right . joseph was to nates left and the rest of the first quarter of the table was filled with the people closest to us . its probably best to wait , i suggested . when we can hold them in our arms is probably the best time for congratulations . but you are able to communicate with them , right ? she was sitting with gary and his father . yes , theyre all healthy and fine up in their new warm environment . in case anyone was wondering , the surgery to remove them went fine and the scars are already healed . theyre currently still in eggs about the size of a chickens , so there isnt a whole lot to see , i explained . and can you tell which one is the oracle ? seth , the tiger leader , asked . thats something to figure out when theyre older , if any of them happen to be the oracle the prophecy speaks of . it could be a future child for all we know . i didnt want any pressure on my peanut-sized children , so i thought it best to wait for them to prove who and what they were on their own . if you guys dont mind , the way weve had to go about protecting our children is a little bit of a sensitive subject . no one wants to have their babies put in an incubator because it isnt safe for them to be carried normally , nate chided . lets focus on what plans need to be made . good idea , joseph said , taking over . right now it seems everyone is in a small town called orange city for some annual celebration they have going on there . i shouldnt say everyone , but thats where weve picked up the most activity . i highly doubt the warlocks are enjoying the festivities , but theyve been moving around to either populace cities or places where they can blend in . i was happy to hear we were getting to the action . i wasnt sure why malphas had picked a location in the middle of the country , but i was game to follow him anywhere to get things over with . and do we know if there are only warlocks there ? joseph hadnt mentioned demons , which couldve been a good thing , but i really didnt feel like going on a wild goose chase . im sure you already know this , but demons are really good about hiding themselves . we dont have anyone who can pick them up without some magical assistance . joseph was correct that i knew how slimy and slippery demons could be , but id thought someone wouldve unearthed some relic stashed away somewhere to help with that problem . if they hadnt , they shouldve interrupted by honeymoon so i couldve made something . okay , i guess that means the sooner we leave , the better . am i correct in thinking weve moved a good portion of our troops to the area already ? that is correct , dollface , kyle said as he rubbed his hands together . he was as eager as i was to get on with the show . can you give me a location to plop us in at ? i wasnt chancing getting on an airplane . even if the jet we usually used was under our control , i couldnt trust the runways to be cleared for landing and takeoff . with almost everyone in this room going , its probably best to not land right in the middle of town , vinnie said , bringing up a map on his phone . land us here . the place he pointed to wasnt anything more than a cornfield on a satellite image . from what i knew about iowa , there were a lot of cornfields around , but i could get us to that particular one . here goes nothing , i said as i pricked my finger for a spell . chapter 2 a quick walk through a cornfield itd been a while since id been in a cornfield , but before i opened my eyes , i knew i was in one . there was a gentle wind that drifted through the stalks of corn , making a soft rustling noise . the smell was so unlike the pollution i usually found in the city , and i inhaled deeply to take some of the fresh air in . the air was clean , with the scent of the dirt below my feet predominant . it reminded me of years gone by , and how different the world once was . being able to remember there were days when things were simpler made me long for them just a little . id seen enough of the future to know days ahead were the exact opposite of simple , so i opened my eyes to take in our new location . the rustling id heard was caused by corn barely to my shin . as early in the year as it was , the corn wasnt anywhere near ready to harvest . it made sense , but id expected to have to fight my way through the rows of corn to get a good look at our surrounding . as it was , we might as well have landed in the middle of the town . | [["word", 9], ["words", 9], ["tentative", 24], ["position", 42], ["six", 46], ["seat", 52], ["seats", 52], ["table", 67], ["tabled", 67], ["tabling", 67], ["right", 79], ["rightest", 79], ["nate", 86], ["nates", 86], ["sat", 96], ["sit", 96], ["head", 108], ["freddie", 136], ["directly", 145], ["joseph", 166], ["nate", 179], ["nates", 179], ["left", 184], ["leave", 184], ["rest", 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tom laid out his clothes and stirred up the shaving soap while grey ate , then the valet turned round , razor in hand and a determined look on his face . `` i 'm a-going with you , me lord . tom nodded , jaw set . i heard the duke and you talk about it last night , saying he ought n't to be there , and that 's all well and good ; i see that him being there would just make more trouble . i ca n't second you , of course . but somebody ought to-to be there , at least . so i 'm going . '' grey looked down into his tea , quite moved . `` thank you , tom , '' he said , when he could trust his voice . `` i shall be very happy to have you with me . '' in fact , he was glad of tom 's company . the young man did n't speak , seeing that grey was in no mood for conversation , but sat opposite him in the carriage , grey 's best cavalry saber balanced carefully on his knees . he would have a second , though . hal had asked harry quarry to meet grey at the ground . `` not only for moral support , '' hal had said . `` i want there to be a witness . '' grey had wondered , in case of what ? some chicanery on the part of twelvetrees ? the sudden appearance of the archbishop of canterbury , roused by the noise ? he did n't ask , though , fearing that the `` just in case '' hal had in mind involved having someone present to memorize grey 's dying words-unless you took the blade through the eye or the roof of the mouth , you usually did have a few moments while bleeding to death in which to compose your epitaph or send an elegantly phrased farewell to your beloved . he thought of that now and wondered briefly just what jamie fraser would do , if made the recipient of some particularly florid sentiment of a personal nature , with grey safely out of neck-breaking range . he caught sight of tom 's shocked expression and hastily erased the grin , replacing it with a grave look more suitable to the occasion . maybe harry would write his epitaph . in verse . master me ... damn , he never had found the other line to his couplet . or did he need two lines ? me/be-that rhymed . maybe it was two lines , not one . if it was really two lines he had , then he clearly needed two more to make a quatrain ... he emerged into a fresh , cool dawn and stood still , breathing , while tom made his way out , handling the sword gingerly in its scabbard . there were two other carriages pulled up , waiting under the dripping trees ; it had rained in the night , though the sky had cleared . the grass will be wet . bad footing . little jolts of electricity were running through him , tightening his muscles . the feeling reminded him-vividly-of his experience of being shocked by an electric eel the year before , and he paused to stretch , easing the tightness in chest and arm . it was the bloody eel that had led to his last duel , the one in which nicholls was killed . at least if he killed twelvetrees this morning , it would be on purpose ... not if . `` come on , '' he said to tom , and they walked past the other carriages , nodding to the coachmen , who returned their salutes , sober-faced . the horses ' breath rose steaming . the last time he had been here , it was for a garden party to which his mother had required him to escort her . mother ... well , hal would tell her if ... it did n't do to think too much . the big wrought-iron gates were closed and padlocked , but the small man-gate beside them was open . he passed through and walked toward the open ground on the far side of the garden , his heels ringing on the wet flagstones . best fight in stocking feet , he thought-no , barefoot , and then came out from under an archway covered with climbing roses into the open ground . twelvetrees stood at the far side , under some kind of tree flocked with white blossoms . grey was interested-and relieved-to see that reginald twelvetrees was not with his brother . he recognized joseph honey , a captain of the lancers , who was evidently twelvetrees 's second , and a man with his back turned , who from his dress-and the box by his feet-appeared to be a surgeon . apparently , twelvetrees planned to survive , if wounded . well , he would , would n't he ? he thought , almost absently . he was already beginning the withdrawal from conscious thought , his body relaxing , easing , rising into eagerness for the fight . he felt well , very well . the western sky had changed to a luminous violet , the final stars almost gone . behind him , the eastern sky had gone to pink and gold ; he felt the breath of dawn on the back of his neck . | [["tom", 3], ["lay", 8], ["lays", 8], ["layed", 8], ["layest", 8], ["laid", 8], ["clad", 24], ["clothe", 24], ["clothes", 24], ["stir", 36], ["stirs", 36], ["stirred", 36], ["shaving", 51], ["soap", 56], ["soaps", 56], ["grey", 67], ["eat", 71], ["ate", 71], ["valet", 88], ["valeting", 88], ["turn", 95], ["turned", 95], ["round", 101], ["razor", 109], ["razoring", 109], ["hand", 117], ["look", 139], ["face", 151], ["go", 169], ["goest", 169], ["going", 169], ["lord", 188], ["nod", 201], ["nodded", 201], ["jaw", 207], ["jaws", 207], ["jawed", 207], ["jawest", 207], ["set", 211], ["hear", 221], ["hears", 221], ["heard", 221], ["duke", 230], ["duked", 230], ["talk", 243], ["last", 257], ["night", 263], ["say", 272], ["sayest", 272], ["saying", 272], ["ought", 281], ["well", 320], ["wells", 320], ["good", 329], ["see", 337], ["trouble", 387], ["troubling", 387], ["ca", 394], ["cas", 394], ["second", 405], ["seconded", 405], ["course", 421], ["least", 468], ["leastest", 468], ["look", 501], ["looked", 501], ["tea", 519], ["teas", 519], ["quite", 527], ["thank", 544], ["thanks", 544], ["thankest", 544], ["say", 567], ["sayest", 567], ["said", 567], ["trust", 589], ["voice", 599], ["shall", 612], ["happy", 626], ["fact", 659], ["glad", 673], ["company", 691], ["companys", 691], ["companying", 691], ["young", 703], ["youngest", 703], ["man", 707], ["mans", 707], ["manned", 707], ["speak", 721], ["spoken", 721], ["see", 730], ["seeing", 730], ["mood", 755], 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["reginald", 3844], ["reginalds", 3844], ["brother", 3881], ["brethren", 3881], ["recognize", 3897], ["recognized", 3897], ["joseph", 3904], ["honey", 3910], ["honeys", 3910], ["captain", 3922], ["lancer", 3937], ["lancers", 3937], ["evidently", 3957], ["back", 4005], ["dress", 4033], ["dressest", 4033], ["box", 4045], ["boxed", 4045], ["appear", 4066], ["appeared", 4066], ["surgeon", 4082], ["apparently", 4095], ["plan", 4117], ["planned", 4117], ["survive", 4128], ["wind", 4141], ["wound", 4141], ["wounding", 4141], ["wounded", 4141], ["almost", 4196], ["absently", 4205], ["already", 4222], ["begin", 4232], ["beginning", 4232], ["withdrawal", 4247], ["conscious", 4262], ["body", 4281], ["bodied", 4281], ["relax", 4290], ["relaxed", 4290], ["relaxing", 4290], ["rise", 4308], ["risen", 4308], ["rising", 4308], ["eagerness", 4323], ["feel", 4347], ["felt", 4347], ["western", 4378], ["change", 4394], ["changed", 4394], ["luminous", 4408], ["violet", 4415], ["final", 4427], ["star", 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gabriel 's answer was so swift , so vehement , julia retreated slightly . he was righteously indignant , his fists clenched . `` maybe i should have been more specific . there are a lot of things a man and woman can do short of sleeping together . '' she raised her chin defiantly . gabriel glared , forcing himself to count to ten . it would not do for him to lose his temper now . not when he had so far to go . `` i realize that you and i have very different views of my departure , but i assure you , i did n't seek out other women . '' his expression grew gentle . `` i was alone with your pictures and my memories , julianne . they were poor companions , but the only other companion i wanted was you . '' `` so there was n't anyone else ? '' `` i was faithful the entire time . i swear it , on grace 's memory . '' his oath stunned them both , and as their eyes met she saw his sincerity . relief began to well up inside her . he took her hand , cradling it gently in his . `` there are a lot of things i should have told you . i 'll tell you now . `` i 'd rather stay here , '' she whispered , her voice taking on an eerie sound in the flickering darkness . `` the julianne i remembered hated the dark . '' `` paulina is in minnesota . she reconciled with her family and met someone . we agreed that i would no longer be supporting her , and she wished us well . '' `` she wished you well , '' julia muttered . `` no , she wished us well . she assumed we were still together and i did n't tell her otherwise . in my mind , you and i were still together . '' this was gabriel 's own arrow , pointed back at her . he had n't told paulina that he was single , because in his mind , he was n't . his voice was the soul of sincerity . `` what were you doing in front of a closed coffee shop in the middle of the night ? '' `` i was working up the courage to ring your doorbell . '' gabriel began twisting the platinum band on his left hand . `` i had to convince rachel to give me your address . she was understandably hesitant . '' julia 's eyes dropped to his left hand . `` why are you wearing a wedding ring ? '' he pulled off the ring and held it out to her . `` read the inscription , '' he urged . hesitantly , she took the ring and held it up to one of the candles . julianne-my beloved is mine and i am hers . a sick feeling entered her stomach , and she quickly returned it to him . he replaced it on his left hand without a word . `` why are you wearing a ring with my name on it ? '' `` you said that you did n't want to talk . '' his voice was gently reproving . `` if you 're allowed to ask me questions , can i ask about paul ? '' `` he was there to pick up the pieces . '' gabriel closed his eyes . he was perilously close to giving in to his temper and saying something cutting , but that would only succeed in pushing her further away . this ring has a mate , smaller in size . i purchased them at tiffany in toronto on the day i bought the silver frame for maia 's picture . `` i still think of you as my other half . my bashert . despite what happened , there was never any question of me pursuing someone else . i have been faithful to you since you told me who you were , back in october . '' julia suddenly found it very difficult to speak . `` gabriel-these past few months , without a word , then tonight ... '' he looked at her with compassion , his arms aching to hold her . `` we do n't have to have this conversation now . just-if you can stand it , please let me see you tomorrow . '' he gave her a look filled with longing . she met his gaze briefly . i 'll speak to you tomorrow , then . he stood in front of her , far too close . `` will you-let me kiss your hand ? '' his voice was wistful and small , like a young boy . she waited for him to kiss the back of her hand , then without thinking she reached up and pressed her lips to his forehead . suddenly , his arms were around her back , pulling her flush against him . although he had trouble thinking of anything other than julianne when he was kissing her , gabriel focused his attention on trying to communicate with lips and mouth that he had n't betrayed her . when she kissed him back with equal passion , he moaned . | [["gabriel", 7], ["answer", 17], ["answeres", 17], ["answerest", 17], ["swift", 30], ["vehement", 44], ["julia", 52], ["retreat", 62], ["retreatest", 62], ["retreated", 62], ["slightly", 71], ["righteously", 92], ["indignant", 102], ["fist", 114], ["fists", 114], ["clench", 123], ["clenched", 123], ["maybe", 134], ["specific", 167], ["lot", 185], ["thing", 195], ["things", 195], ["man", 201], ["mans", 201], ["manned", 201], ["woman", 211], ["womans", 211], ["short", 224], ["slept", 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the contents of the latter were rescued by william ( my son , whom you will recall ) , and two of the slaves , who swept the dispossessed fowl out of the passing floodwaters with brooms . i can not say whose was the notion to sequester the hapless feathered flood victims in my sleeping chamber , but i hold certain suspicions in this regard . resorting to use of my chamber pot ( i could wish that the chickens shared this facility , they are distressing incontinent fowl ) , i dressed and ventured forth to see what might be salvaged . some few boards and the shingled roof of the chicken coop remain , but my privy , alas , has become the property of king neptune-or whatever minor water deity presides over so modest a tributary as our river . i pray you will suffer no concern for us , though ; the house is at some distance from the river , and safely placed upon a rise of ground , such as to render us quite safe from even the most incommodious flooding . ( the necessary had been dug by the old homestead , and we had not yet attempted a new structure more convenient ; this minor disaster , by affording us the necessary opportunity for rebuilding , thus may prove a blessing in disguise . ) brianna rolled her eyes at the pun , but smiled nonetheless . jemmy dropped his ring and began at once to whine for it . she stooped to pick it up , but stopped halfway down , riveted by the words at the beginning of the next paragraph . your letter mentions mr. stephen bonnet , and inquires whether i have news or knowledge of him . i have met with him , you will collect , but have unfortunately no memory whatever of the encounter , not even to recalling of his appearance , though as you know , i carry a small hole in my head , as a singular memento of the occasion . ( you may inform your lady wife that i am healed well , with no further symptoms of discomfort than the occasional headache . beyond this , the silver plate with which the opening is covered is subject to sudden chill when the weather is cold , which tends to make my left eye water , and to cause a great discharge of snot , but this is of no consequence . ) as i thus share your interest in mr. bonnet and his movements , i have long since had inquiries dispersed among such acquaintance as i have near the coast , since the descriptions of his machinations cause me to believe the man is most like to be found there ( this is a comforting notion , given the great distance between the coast and your remote eyrie ) . the river being navigable to the sea , however , i had some thought that the river captains and water scallywags who now and again grace my dinner table might at some point bear me word of the man . i am not pleased by the obligation to report that bonnet still resides among the living , but both duty and friendship compel me to impart such particulars of him as i have obtained . these are sparse ; the wretch appears sensible of his criminal situation , so far as to render him subtle in his movements until now . jemmy was kicking and squawking . as though in a trance , she stooped , holding him , and picked up the ring , her eyes still fixed on the letter . i had heard little of him , save a report at one point that he had repaired to france-good news . however , two weeks past i had a guest , one captain liston ( `` captain '' being no more than a title of courtesy ; he claims service with the royal navy , but i will stake a hogshead of my best tobacco [ a sample of which you will find accompanying this missive-and if you do not , i would be obliged to hear of it , since i do not altogether trust the slave by whom i send it ] that he has never so much as smelled the ink on a commission , let alone the reek of the bilges ) who gave me a more recent-and highly disagreeable-history of the man bonnet . finding himself at large in the port of charleston , liston said that he fell in with some companions of low aspect , who invited him to accompany them to a cockfight , held in the innyard of an establishment called the devil 's glass . among the rabble there was a man notable for the fineness of his dress , and the freedom with which he spent his coin-liston heard this man referred to as bonnet , and was told by the landlord that this bonnet had the name of a smuggler upon the outer banks , being popular with the merchants of the coastal towns in north carolina , though much less so with the authorities , who were helpless to deal with the man by reason of his business and the dependence of the towns of wilmington , edenton , and new bern upon his trade . liston took little further note of bonnet ( he said ) until an altercation rose over a wager upon the fighting . hot words were exchanged , and nothing would do save honor be satisfied by the 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and she had n't thought perfect men existed except in fantasy land . she settled into his arms , warm and content , waiting to hear what he 'd say next . `` michael took from you in your relationship but he did n't give shit back . and i know this from what you 've told me . he expected things from you . he punished you when you did n't comply . but he did n't give you anything back . you said he was cold and distant . he was never affectionate . he did n't give you the things you needed . and he did n't reward you when you did something that pleased him . '' she pursed her lips in distaste because ash had nailed it right on the head . and the hell of it was she 'd never seen it while she was in the relationship with michael . she 'd wrongly assumed that all relationships like the one she had with michael were that way . ash was fast proving her wrong . `` he did n't show you affection . he did n't do things for you because he knew you 'd love them . and , baby , that 's wrong . your relationship with him was all about him . it was about what he could take from you without having to give back . and that 's ten sorts of f**ked up . it 's no way for a man to treat a woman he 's supposed to cherish and protect . '' `` you 're not like that , '' she whispered . `` thank f**k you feel that way , baby . i would n't be pleased at all if you thought i was n't giving you back what you needed from me . and if it ever comes to that , i want you to let me know . because i 'll fix it . i wo n't ever consciously do it . but if it does ever happen , i expect you to give me a loud wake-up call . '' `` no worries there , ash . now that you 've shown me how it can be , i 'm a greedy bitch and i 'll never go back to the way it was with michael . you 've spoiled me for any other man . '' `` it 's a good damn thing because i have no intention of you ever finding out what it 's like with another man . if i 'm not giving you what you need , then you better be telling me what it is i 'm not giving you because you going to another man for that ... not happening . you 're mine , josie . '' `` i 'm yours , '' she whispered , tracing her fingers down his firm jawline . `` now , let 's talk about me letting you off the leash so to speak . '' `` leash ? ash , that sounds horrible ! is that what you think you 've done ? put a leash on me ? '' `` was just joking with you , darling . jace accused me of having a leash on you because i 've been keeping you all to myself . i 've kept a pretty tight rein on you this week . it 's me being selfish . i have n't wanted to share you with anyone yet . and that 's not fair to you . you 've only been out once this entire week . '' `` i have n't minded , ash . i 've loved this week with you . and i 've been working . so it 's been fine . '' `` yeah , but it 'll get old after a while . i just wanted to make sure ... '' he grimaced and broke off . `` not important , '' he said gruffly . `` the point is that i want you to meet my friends . they 're the most important people in my life next to you . gabe and mia are going to get in late saturday and if they 're up for it , i 'd like to take you to meet everyone sunday . i 'd like you to meet my sister , brittany , too . she 's having a hard time of it and she 's almost the same age as you . mia and bethany and mia 's girls are a bit younger but i think you 'll like them too . mia and bethany have good heads on their shoulders and they both have hearts as big as alaska . '' `` i ca n't wait , '' she said sincerely . `` if they mean that much to you , i have no doubt i 'll like them , ash . and i want to meet the people you care about . i 'm happy you want to share that part of yourself with me . i just wish i had that to share with you as well . '' `` want you to have people to love and support you , baby . hate that you 're alone with no family and that you lost your mother . i 'm sure i would have loved her if she 's everything you 've said . 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its my experience that whenever someone says it isnt about the money , thats usually exactly what it is about . but the emotion in mrs. surianos eyes and voice convinced me . this case wasnt about money . it was about justice , something i gave up on years ago . unfortunately , theres a law that affects this type of case . i watched her as i spoke . its called death on the high seas act or dohsa . it will restrict any financial settlement you might receive to compensatory damages only . in other words , your husbands estimated lifetime earnings , the loss of the yacht , and your medical expenses . her posture stiffened . its the only reason i survived . to stop them . to make them pay . im afraid dohsa will make that impossible . i spoke gently , although i have strong feelings on the subject . dohsa was passed in 1920 , and at that time it was ground-breaking . it represented the first time compensation was provided for widows and children of men killed on the job . now , however , it ties our hands because it doesnt allow for punitive damages . but how could such a thing why ? whenever congress considers an amendment , the cruise ship industry spends big bucks to block it . so , youre sayingbecause of this dohsa , theyre going to get away with murder ? only a criminal case would effectively address the question of their guilt . all a civil case can accomplish is to find them at fault and require them to pay a compensatory settlement . unfortunately , i doubt that will affect them as much as you would like . i gave her a moment to consider that before delivering the final blow . if you decide to proceed , you need to know this firm can not accept a case like this on contingency . her chin came up , and her eyes flashed with a return of the anger shed suppressed earlier . of course i intend to proceed . if they lose the case , at the least it will prove they were responsible . and im willing to pay whatever that requires . money again . with a sigh , i bowed to the inevitable . ill need a retainer of twenty thousand to begin . making it to court will likely cost in excess of a hundred thousand . she opened her purse , pulled out a checkbook and pen , wrote quickly , then leaned forward to place the check on my desk . i left it sitting , but the number shed written was clear . i wouldnt want to play poker with her . i didnt doubt the check would clear . ~ ~ ~ mrs. suriano left , and i wheeled over to the window . on a clear day , i can see all the way to sausalito , and this was a clear day . i picked up the binoculars i keep handy and watched a freighter heading out under the golden gate . i put the binoculars down and buzzed cassie . she seemed unusually subdued when she came in . you dont have an opinion on mrs. suriano ? correct me if im wrong , but i dont remember that happening before . she was wearing a dellagracia . cassie avoided both my eyes and my question . i thought she was wearing a nice blue suit . cassie propped her hands on her hips , the distracted look gone . lordy , max , a nice blue suit ? dellagracia doesnt do nice suits , he does amazing suits . cassie has needled me about fashion ever since i criticized the too-short skirt and too-tight top she wore when i interviewed her . i gave her what she called my look , and she settled back to business . so , are we representing mrs. suriano ? i didnt argue with her use of we . when i take on a client , that client gets not only my best effort and the firms , but cassies as well . were going to do the prelims . why the lack of enthusiasm ? the case hinges on a she-says-they-say scenario that will be impossible to prove . she says the freighter was running without lights . the freighter crew has denied that . and dohsa limits our options . bottom line , mrs. suriano wont get what shes seeking . cassies chin came up , a dangerous sign . why not tell her that ? shes not ready to hear it . so , youre going to take her money and string her along ? that stinks , max . as long as were representing her , well do our best to make sure she receives whatever compensation we can get for her . i always thought deep down you was rooting for the underdog , max . even when you defend them oil tankers . when cassies upset , she slips into old habits . it doesnt happen often , at least not with me . along with how to dress , shes learned to choose her battles , and after more than ten years of working together , she and i can read each others moods with a glance . that familiarity helps us avoid conflicts , although if its one thing i can count on , its that cassie never minces words . | [["experience", 17], ["experienced", 17], ["whenever", 31], ["say", 44], ["sayest", 44], ["says", 44], ["money", 68], ["moneys", 68], ["usually", 84], ["exactly", 92], ["emotion", 127], ["mrs", 134], ["eye", 149], ["eyed", 149], ["eyes", 149], ["voice", 159], ["convince", 169], ["convinced", 169], ["convincing", 169], ["case", 184], ["justice", 225], ["give", 244], ["gave", 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when she climbed over the bench of the red-painted picnic table , olivia was grateful she 'd changed out of her dress . she had n't been here in ages and had forgotten just how rustic it was . the window was decorated with what resembled red christmas lights , but on closer examination , she saw they were shiny plastic peppers . she found that an amusing detail . jack brought napkins and plastic forks to the table and a large container of fresh salsa . when their order was ready , he collected both plates , then went back for their drinks . the food smelled delicious and she closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of jack 's peppers and the mixture of salsa and coriander . they talked comfortably about a variety of topics : town politics , the paper , the play they 'd both seen . she would n't have said he was her type , but she was beginning to believe she did n't have one . stan was an engineer , and like her , a highly organized person . `` did i mention my son recently got married ? '' jack grinned widely . `` he 's about to make me a grandmother . '' he gave her an engaging grin . `` you 're the most beautiful grandmother i 've ever seen . '' her ego thanked him . `` both the marriage and the pregnancy came as a surprise , but i do n't mind . '' well , she did ... a little . `` james sounded happy and although i have n't met his wife , she seems very nice . '' olivia had her fears , but she would n't second-guess her son and his decisions . this was his life , not hers . `` stan and i were on the phone , discussing the prospect of becoming grandparents when you arrived . that 's why it took me so long to answer the door . '' `` you must have a good relationship with your ex . '' `` i wish we 'd gotten along this well while we were married , '' she joked . `` now his second wife 's getting the benefit of all my training . '' `` stan 's remarried ? '' jack studied his dinner for a moment , then said , `` because of the treatments eric underwent for the cancer , he 'll never father children . '' which meant there was no possibility of jack 's ever being a grandfather , olivia realized . it seemed he wanted to change the subject . `` do you speak to stan often ? '' `` only in matters having to do with the children , '' she told him . `` they 're both adults now , so there is n't much reason for phone calls and so forth . i suppose we 'll be in touch a little more often once james 's baby is born . what about you and your ex ? '' jack tore his paper napkin in half , then looked horrified by what he 'd done . `` i have n't spoken to vicki in years . unfortunately , our divorce was bitter . '' `` i 'm sorry , '' she said again because she could see that talking about his ex-wife distressed him . `` what 's the matter with couples these days ? '' `` does n't anyone stay together anymore ? '' `` the beldons have been married since shortly after high school , '' olivia said , leading into the subject of how he knew bob . `` ah yes , bob and peggy . '' `` i went to high school with both of them , '' olivia explained . `` they were boyfriend and girlfriend back then ? '' `` from tenth grade on . '' those two had been together practically as long as she could remember . `` bob was in vietnam , '' jack said . `` is that how you know him ? '' `` i met him later . about ten years ago . '' olivia waited , wondering if he 'd tell her how they 'd come to meet . `` bob 's the one who suggested i apply for the job here in cedar cove . i was looking for a slower pace and decided to take him up on his offer to visit the bed-and-breakfast . i immediately fell in love with the area . '' `` and so you uprooted your whole life . '' she met his gaze and they shared a smile . `` i 'm glad i did , '' he said , offering her a jalapeno . `` i 'm glad you made the move , too . '' very glad ! in the wee hours of sunday morning , cecilia poured herself a soothing glass of milk and sat at the small table in her tiny kitchen . she rested her bare legs on the second chair and leaned back , closing her eyes . after a night on her feet , her toes throbbed . it 'd been much worse when she was pregnant . she remembered how badly her ankles had swollen nearly every night . from the first , the pregnancy had been hard on her . she hoped subsequent pregnancies would n't be as difficult , then realized there would n't be any more . never again did she plan to risk that kind of emotional pain . she sipped the milk , hoping it would help her sleep . | [["climb", 16], ["climbed", 16], ["bench", 31], ["benched", 31], ["red", 42], ["paint", 50], ["painted", 50], ["picnic", 57], ["picnicked", 57], ["picnicking", 57], ["table", 63], ["tabled", 63], ["tabling", 63], ["olivia", 72], ["grateful", 85], ["change", 100], ["changed", 100], ["dress", 117], ["dressest", 117], ["age", 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i 'll bring ya a beer in just a sec . '' `` yes , ma'am , '' i replied . `` told ya not to call me ma'am . makes me sound like somebody 's mama , '' she teased and shot me a wink . she really was a piece-of-work . i made my way over to beau who leaned up against the edge of a pool table with his ankles crossed and a frosty mug of beer in his hand . it was the expression on his face that tipped me off that this was n't just a friendly gathering . slipping my hand into my pocket , i held lana 's letter between my fingers . remembering her words helped me deal . if this was bad news , i needed a reminder that she was out there and that she loved me . `` what is it , beau ? '' i demanded the moment i was close enough . `` i got some answers for you that you 're gon na want . but you need to remain calm while you get those answers . '' my heart sped up and i froze , `` lana ? '' beau nodded , `` yep . but it ai n't my story to tell , '' beau turned his head and i followed his gaze to ethan standing a few feet away from us . `` go ahead e , before he loses it . '' ethan shifted his gaze from me to beau and i could see the fear in his eyes . i started toward him , ready to shake him until he told me what he knew . beau 's hand clamped down on my shoulder and stopped me . `` you wo n't get your answers if you hurt him . '' `` ethan , tell him . i told you , i wo n't let him rip your balls off . '' my heart started racing and the blood boiled in my veins . the idea that ethan had somehow had a hand in lana 's disappearance was making it hard for me to take calm steady breaths . `` you better do this quick e , cause he 's gon na blow in a second and i 'm sore as shit from this week . i really do n't want to have to stop this , '' beau urged . um , well , you see sawyer . i got a call from lana- '' `` why the hell is she calling you ? '' i demanded , taking another step toward ethan who backed up a step . `` get the f**k on with this e , '' beau growled as his hand tightened on my shoulder . she called me before . the day ash thought beau cheated . she called me that day and told me she needed a favor . she said she could n't stay here anymore and needed my help . i picked her up and- '' `` where is she ? '' i roared , taking another step his way . both beau 's hands clamped down on my shoulders . `` easy bro , '' he warned . `` lord have mercy boy . drink this beer and chill out . the girl is safe and if you 'll let the kid talk you 'll find out where she 's at , '' aunt honey stood in front of me shoving a mug of beer into my hand . `` here , hold this . that way you can only hit him with one fist . '' `` go on , mama . i got this , '' beau said behind me . `` hmph , do n't look like it . but i hope you 're right . i ai n't payin ' for no repairs if he goes bat shit in here , '' she replied . setting the beer down on the edge of the pool table , i did n't take my eyes off ethan . `` i took her to her friend 's condo at the beach . '' i 'd called jewel ... wait . he 'd taken her there ? `` did you see jewel ? did she actually go into a condo ? '' i asked , hoping that i 'd been played by that crazy ass friend of hers . `` yeah , i carried her bags to the door . jewel came outside squealing and all happy to see her . then i went back , '' ethan began . the words that he went back sent off a possessive blaze of fury . i shrugged off beau 's grasp and stalked over to tower above ethan , `` what does that mean ? he ai n't finished . do n't f**k him up now , '' beau growled , hooking his arms in both of mine from behind and pulling me back . ethan wiped at his forehead nervously and gulped . `` listen man , i did n't know . i thought you 'd moved on . i did n't know how you felt about lana . when i came to your house saturday to talk to you about lana that was the first time i realized that i 'd made a huge mistake helping her run away . so , i went back . i was going to fix it . hell , i could n't even say your name . 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he swung his head toward me , eyes wide with shock . `` she 's seven months along , you said . she ca n't go back ! '' `` not now , '' i said , with bitter emphasis . `` she might have , when we first found out . i tried to make her go back to scotland , or at least to the indies-there 's another ... opening , there . she would n't go without finding out what happened to you . '' `` what happened to me , '' he repeated , and glanced at jamie . jamie 's shoulders tensed , and he set his jaw . `` it 's my fault , and no remedy for it . she 's trapped here . and i can do nothing for her-save bring ye back to her . '' and that , i realized , was why he had not wanted to tell roger anything ; for fear that when he realized brianna was trapped in the past , roger would refuse to come back with us . following her into the past was one thing ; staying there forever with her was something else again . neither was it guilt over bonnet alone that had eaten jamie up on our journey here ; the spartan boy with the fox gnawing at his vitals would have recognized a kindred soul on the spot , i thought , looking at him with exasperated tenderness . roger gazed at him , completely at a loss for words . before he could find any , a noise of shuffling footsteps approached the door of the hut . the flap lifted , and a large number of mohawks came in , one after the other . we looked at them in astonishment ; there were about fifteen of them , men and women and children , all dressed for traveling , in leggings and furs . one of the older women held a cradleboard , and without hesitation she walked up to roger and pressed it into his arms , saying something in mohawk . jamie , suddenly alert , leaned toward her and said a few halting words . she repeated what she had said , impatiently , then looked behind her and motioned to a young man . `` you are ... priest , '' he said haltingly to roger . he pointed at the cradleboard . roger tried to give the board back to the woman , but she refused to take it . `` prees , '' she said definitely . `` babtize . '' she motioned to one of the younger women , who stepped forward , holding a small bowl made of horn , filled with water . `` father alexandre-he say you priest , son of priest , '' said the young man . i saw roger 's face go pale beneath the beard . jamie had stepped aside , murmuring in french patois to a man he recognized among the crowd . now he pushed his way back to us . `` these are what is left of the priest 's flock , '' he said softly . `` the council has told them to leave . they mean to travel to the huron mission at ste . berthe , but they would have the child baptized , lest it die on the journey . '' he glanced at roger . `` they think ye are a priest ? '' roger looked down at the child in his arms . jamie hesitated , glancing at the waiting indians . they stood patiently , their faces calm . i could only guess what lay behind them . fire and death , exile-what else ? there were marks of sorrow on the face of the old woman who brought the baby ; she would be its grandmother , i thought . `` in case of need , '' jamie said quietly to roger , `` any man may do the office of a priest . '' i would n't have thought it was possible for roger to go any whiter , but he did . he swayed briefly , and the old lady , alarmed , reached out a hand to steady the cradleboard . he caught himself , though , and nodded to the young woman with the water , to come closer . he asked , and heads nodded , some with certainty , some with less . `` c'est bien , '' he said , and taking a deep breath , lifted the cradleboard , showing the child to the congregation . the baby , a round-faced charmer with soft brown curls and a golden skin , blinked sleepily at the change of perspective . `` hear the words of our lord jesus christ , '' he said clearly in french . `` obeying the word of our lord jesus , and sure of his presence with us , we baptize those whom he has called to be his own . '' of course , i thought , watching him . he was the son of a priest , so to speak ; he would often enough have seen the reverend administer the sacrament of baptism . if he did n't recall the entire service , he seemed to know the general form of it . | [["swing", 8], ["swung", 8], ["head", 17], ["toward", 24], ["eye", 34], ["eyed", 34], ["eyes", 34], ["wide", 39], ["shock", 50], ["seven", 68], ["month", 75], ["months", 75], ["along", 81], ["say", 92], ["sayest", 92], ["said", 92], ["ca", 101], ["cas", 101], ["go", 108], ["goest", 108], ["back", 113], ["bitter", 155], ["bitterest", 155], ["emphasis", 164], ["may", 179], ["mays", 179], ["mayest", 179], ["might", 179], ["first", 200], ["firstest", 200], ["find", 206], ["found", 206], ["try", 220], ["tryed", 220], ["tried", 220], ["scotland", 252], ["least", 266], ["leastest", 266], ["indie", 280], ["indies", 280], ["another", 297], ["opening", 309], ["without", 344], ["find", 352], ["finding", 352], ["happen", 370], ["happened", 370], 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are ye all right , sassenach ? '' `` splendid , '' i said , still feeling pleasantly remote . he glanced at me curiously , but seemed to conclude that it was all right . he grasped a sumac bush and dragged himself laboriously to his feet . `` i canna feel my toes just yet , '' he told me , `` but the rest is all right . the horses , though- '' he glanced upward , and i saw his throat move as he swallowed . the horses were silent . we were some twenty feet below the ledge , among the firs and balsams . i could move , but did n't seem able to summon the will to do so . i sat still , taking stock , while jamie shook himself , then began the climb back up to the mankiller 's ledge . it seemed very quiet ; i wondered whether i had been deafened by the blast . my foot was cold . i looked down and discovered that my left shoe was gone-whether knocked off by the lightning or lost in the fall , i had no idea , but i did n't see it anywhere nearby . the stocking was gone , too ; there was a small dark starburst of veins , just below the anklebone-a legacy of my second pregnancy . i sat staring at it as though it were the key to the secrets of the universe . the horses must be dead ; i knew that . why were n't we ? i breathed in the stink of burning flesh , and a tiny shudder arose , somewhere deep inside me . were we alive now , only because we were doomed to die in four years ? when it came our turn , would we lie in the burnt ruins of our house , shells of charred and reeking flesh ? burnt to bones , whispered the voice of my memory . tears ran down my face with the rain , but they were distant tears-for the horses , for my mother-not for myself . there were blue veins beneath the surface of my skin , more prominent than before . on the backs of my hands , they traced a roadmap ... in the tender flesh behind my knee , they showed in webs and traceries ; along my shin , one large vein swelled snakelike , distended . i pressed a finger on it ; it was soft and disappeared , but came back the instant i removed the finger . the inner workings of my body were becoming slowly more visible , the taut skin thinning , leaving me vulnerable , with everything outside , exposed to the elements , that once was safely sheltered in the snug casing of the body . bone and blood push through ... there was an oozing graze on the top of my foot . jamie was back , drenched to the skin and breathless from the climb . both his shoes were gone , i saw . `` judas is dead , '' he said , sitting down beside me . he took my cold hand in his own cold hand and pressed it hard . `` poor thing , '' i said , and the tears ran faster , warm streams mingling with cold rain . he always hated thunder and lightning , always . '' jamie put an arm round my shoulders and pressed my head against his chest , making little soothing noises . `` and gideon ? '' i asked at last , raising my head and making an effort to wipe my nose on a fold of sodden cloak . jamie shook his head , with a small , incredulous smile . `` he 's burnt down the side of his right shoulder and foreleg and his mane 's singed off entirely . '' he picked up a fold of his own tattered cloak and tried to wipe my face , with no better results than i had had myself . `` i expect it will do wonders for his temper , '' he said , trying to make a joke of it . i was too worn out and shaken to laugh , but i managed a small smile , and it felt good . `` can you lead him down , do you think ? i-i have some ointment . it 's good for burns . '' he gave me a hand and helped me stand up . i turned to brush down my crumpled skirts , and as i did so , caught sight of something . `` look , '' i said , my voice no more than a whisper . `` jamie-look . '' ten feet away , up the slope from us , stood a big balsam fir , its top sheared cleanly away and half its remaining branches charred and smoking . wedged between one branch and the stump of the trunk was a huge , rounded mass . it was half black , the tissues turned to carbon-but the hair on the other half lay in sodden white spikes , the cream-white color of trilliums . jamie stood looking up at the corpse of the bear , his mouth half open . slowly he closed it , and shook his head . he turned to me , then , and looked past me , toward the distant mountains , where the retreating lightning flashed silently . | [["ye", 6], ["yed", 6], ["right", 16], ["rightest", 16], ["sassenach", 28], ["sassenachs", 28], ["splendid", 45], ["say", 57], ["sayest", 57], ["said", 57], ["still", 65], ["feel", 73], ["feeling", 73], ["pleasantly", 84], ["remote", 91], ["remoted", 91], ["glance", 104], ["glanced", 104], ["curiously", 120], ["seem", 133], ["seeming", 133], ["seemed", 133], ["conclude", 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none of these people liked one another . simon followed her into the kitchen . `` should the turkey come out yet ? '' `` yes , '' she said distractedly as he slipped his hands into her santa-face oven mitts . `` simon , '' she pleaded . `` mrs. mullinex and mr. oliver can barely stand to look at each other , and bob thought this dinner was going to be a private affair between him and me . '' `` it 'll be fine , '' he said soothingly . cassie sincerely doubted that . simon lifted the turkey out of the oven and set it on top of the stove . cassie thanked him . `` according to my cookbook , the turkey should sit for no less than fifteen minutes before being carved . '' `` do you need help with anything else ? '' she 'd seen to everything before the guests were due . `` i just have to get the food into the serving dishes . '' bowls lined the counter . cassie was pleased with her organizational abilities . the potatoes were cooked and ready to be mashed . green beans simmered on the stovetop . she drained off the liquid , added the melted butter and almonds and placed them in the bowl she 'd chosen . simon returned to the living room with the others . then , picking up the bowl in which she planned to put the stuffing , she noticed something wrong . for a moment , all cassie could do was stare at her hand . putting down the bowl , she opened the door slightly and peered out of the kitchen . `` simon , '' she called in a deceptively casual voice . `` would you come in here for a minute ? '' he gave her an odd look but did as she requested . the instant he set foot in the kitchen , she took his arms and pulled him all the way in . `` houston , we have a problem , '' she said in an urgent whisper . `` a very big one . '' splaying her fingers , she held out her hand . `` my ring is missing . '' `` yes , my ring . '' `` i 'm sure it 's around here somewhere . ca n't you look for it later ? '' `` because the last time i saw it , i was stuffing the turkey . '' `` in other words ... '' `` yes . in other words it 's inside the bird . '' `` no , but where else would it be ? '' simon rolled his eyes toward the ceiling . a dozen scenarios played in her mind , none of them the least bit amusing . if someone bit into it and broke a tooth ... '' i 'll be sued ! '' she said hoarsely , covering her eyes . `` someone might choke on it . my neighbors do n't deserve to die , even if my newspapers do turn up missing now and then . '' `` dish the stuffing into the bowl . you might find it . '' `` and do n't panic . '' `` easy for you to say , '' she muttered as she transferred stuffing into the bowl , inspecting each spoonful closely . `` mrs. mullinex is a sweet lady , '' he was saying . `` i do n't know why you think she 'd want to cause you any trouble . '' `` he probably would n't even notice if he bit into the ring , especially if you left the football game on . '' `` he 'd assume you were proposing marriage . '' `` oh , cassie , i just- '' mrs. mullinex stuck her head into the kitchen . `` anything i can do , dear ? '' `` ah , no , thanks . everything 's fine , '' cassie assured her . `` simon , come back and sit with me , '' the older woman wheedled . simon turned away from the counter and offered mrs. mullinex his arm , then threw cassie a look that told her she was on her own . a lot of help he 'd been . no sooner had simon left than the door opened again . this time it was bob . `` so , '' he said , leaning against the kitchen counter . `` it 's just the two of us now . '' `` yes , well ... '' cassie inserted the spoon inside the turkey to finish taking out the stuffing , but with bob watching every move , she could n't make a huge production of plowing through it , searching for her ring . `` i 've always loved stuffing . '' `` oh , me , too , but i 'm not sure this turned out that well . i was thinking i would n't serve it . '' `` let me taste . '' before she could protest , he took her spoon and helped himself to a sample . after blowing on it , he popped it into his mouth . he smiled widely in approval . `` this is fabulous ! here , i 'll take it out for you . '' `` no , '' she cried and made an effort to stop him , but to no avail . bob carried the bowl into the dining area . | [["none", 4], ["people", 20], ["like", 26], ["liked", 26], ["another", 38], ["simon", 46], ["follow", 55], ["followed", 55], ["kitchen", 76], ["kitchens", 76], ["turkey", 99], ["come", 104], ["yet", 112], ["yes", 124], ["say", 138], ["sayest", 138], ["said", 138], ["distractedly", 151], ["slip", 165], ["slipped", 165], ["hand", 175], ["hands", 175], ["santa", 190], ["santas", 190], ["face", 195], ["oven", 200], ["mitt", 206], ["mitts", 206], ["plead", 234], ["pleaded", 234], ["mrs", 243], ["mr", 260], ["oliver", 268], ["barely", 279], ["stood", 285], ["stand", 285], ["standest", 285], ["look", 293], ["bob", 317], ["bobs", 317], ["think", 325], ["thinkest", 325], ["thought", 325], ["dinner", 337], ["go", 347], ["goest", 347], ["going", 347], ["private", 363], ["affair", 370], ["fine", 412], ["soothingly", 436], ["cassie", 445], ["sincerely", 455], ["doubt", 463], 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i ca n't help it and walk out my door , knocking on hers seconds later . it takes a moment before i realize i 'm only wearing my shorts , but it 's too late . she opens the door a crack and eyes me . `` ethan , '' she greets , and then opens the door a little wider , looking around cautiously . `` emily , right ? '' she 's smiling again , just like when we met . `` i noticed that you , um ... do n't have electricity yet , and you do n't have water either , huh ? '' she bites the inside of her cheek nervously . her reply is so small , just like she is , and i can tell she 's embarrassed . `` come on , '' i say , motioning for her to follow me . `` you can shower and wash your clothes at my place . i pay a flat fee for the water , so you using it wo n't cost me any more money . '' `` i ca n't tell you how much i appreciate this , ethan . '' she 's wrapped tightly in one of my towels , and i feel a ... stirring . i wonder if she understands she 's half-naked in front of a stranger . i try not to be obvious in my perusal of her form ; her body is small , but her tits are high , round , and a little large for her frame , though no complaints . i briefly wonder what her nipples look like , and lick my lips but catch myself before my ogling turns creepy . `` it 's no problem , '' i answer hastily , refusing to look further at her . i stop short before making my next statement . no matter how much i tell myself to mind my own business , i ca n't seem to help dispensing advice . `` you know , you ca n't live without utilities , emily . '' i wonder where this girl comes from that she thinks living with no water or electricity is n't a problem ; my level of concern is now elevated a notch or two . `` i know , but - `` she stops herself . i have this feeling that there 's something off here , and i ca n't ignore the fact she seems to be without essentials . `` i typically shower in the morning , so if you want to come over at night and shower until you get the utilities turned on , that 's cool . '' i turn away , wanting to give her privacy to dress because she needs to get dressed ; i need her to get dressed . `` so like , what do you do all day ? '' i can hear the snap of the elastic on her panties against her hip as she finishes putting them on . shit , these duplex units are too small ! or is my hearing that good ? i ca n't help the thoughts that run through my head . thinking about her body is a complication i do not need or want . however , chiding myself does n't stop me from picturing the slight curve of her hips , her shapely thighs , or perfectly muscled backside . `` i go to work , '' i snap , feeling guilty . seconds later , her voice is right behind me . her tone is light and her remark impulsive . i turn so we 're face to face and she can see my eyes . sometimes , emotion seeps out through the eyes . i do n't want her to see any vulnerability in mine . once you 're seen as weak , people are quick to take advantage . `` i work down at the grocery store . '' she smiles and looks down . she does n't want me to see her eyes . `` that 's really close , so i could walk there . you think they 're hiring ? '' i have to keep it uncomplicated . expanding on my answers will only lead to divulging more than i intend to offer . we stare at each other for a few more seconds before i break the silence . `` well , i - `` `` oh gosh , i 'm sorry . you must have to get ready for your day . i come barging in here and ruin your routine ! '' `` it 's fine ; i just have to take a cold shower before work . '' the words are heavy in the air . they are n't meant as they sound as i 'm sure she 's used all the hot water in the small hot water tank , but after thinking about her showering and changing in my bathroom , perhaps a cold shower for another reason is n't a bad idea . great ... now , she thinks i 'm a pervert . i do n't see her for two days ... and for 48 hours , i worry . - do n't get involved . it 's 10 p.m. , and i ca n't stand it anymore . i know something is n't right . no utilities , no furniture , wears the same clothes , and i can hear her . i hear the sobbing every night through the thin-ass sheetrock . `` emily , '' i say in a slightly raised voice . fucking non-existent walls . | [["ca", 4], ["cas", 4], ["help", 13], ["helpest", 13], ["walk", 25], ["door", 37], ["knock", 48], ["knocks", 48], ["knockest", 48], ["knocking", 48], ["second", 64], ["seconded", 64], ["seconds", 64], ["later", 70], ["take", 81], ["takes", 81], ["moment", 90], ["realize", 107], ["wear", 125], 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i thought it would be impossible to feel this way after grant left me . i was sure i 'd never be able to trust another man , let alone give him my heart . '' `` could you give me your heart , bethanne ? '' `` yes , and it scares me to death . '' `` it does me , too . '' he kissed the side of her neck and his lips against her skin felt like a mild electric shock . `` i ... think it might be best if we both went to our rooms . you 're tired , and i need time to sort all this out in my head . '' walking hand in hand , they approached the elevator . once inside-fortunately they were alone-max punched their floor numbers . as soon as the door closed , he drew her into his arms and kissed her . the kiss was hot and urgent , and when he released her they were both breathless . his gaze held hers and she smiled at him . he hugged her again and bethanne stepped into the hallway that led to her room . her mother-in-law and daughter were still out , to bethanne 's rather guilty relief . she undressed and climbed into bed and sat there , mulling over the conversation with max . after grant moved out , bethanne had dated tiffany 's ex-husband . paul was much younger . they 'd bonded over the trauma of having loved an unfaithful spouse . paul had since remarried and recently had a baby son . after paul , bethanne had dated off and on . nothing had come of those relationships . and now she 'd met max ... it seemed as though she 'd been waiting for him all these years . falling in love could n't have come at a more inconvenient time . bethanne was still sitting up in bed , staring blankly at the wall , at about ten , when the door opened and the other two came in . both were surprised to find her in the room . `` i thought you were with max , '' annie said . we had dinner and then he went up to his room . '' she did n't mention that he 'd spent twenty hours on his bike , riding through four states in order to meet her . `` did you have a disagreement ? '' ruth asked , sounding hopeful . he was tired and so was i . '' preferring not to discuss max , she asked , `` how was the show ? '' `` incredible , '' ruth said on the end of a dreamy sigh . `` i could fall in love with andy williams all over again . oh , my , that boy can sing . '' `` he 's hardly a boy , grandma . '' `` was it as dreadful as you feared ? '' bethanne asked her daughter . annie set her purse on the dresser . `` you know , it was n't bad . '' ruth could n't keep from chortling . `` he is n't someone i 'd purposely see again , '' annie added , `` but i have to admit he does have a decent singing voice . even at his age . '' `` what about the songs ? '' `` they were all right . '' annie shrugged as if to say she could take them or leave them . `` 'moon river ' is all right ? it 's brilliant ! '' after a moment she started to undress for bed . annie sat beside bethanne , then tucked her feet up and rested her chin on her bent knees . `` dad and i had a long talk . '' no doubt she and max were the main topic of that conversation . `` i told dad how strange you 've been acting . '' she grinned as she said it . `` i 'm sure he had a lot to say . '' bethanne let the acting-strange comment go unchallenged . `` i told grant he should be more concerned than he is , but i 'm afraid my son gave up listening to my advice a long time ago , '' ruth said as she smoothed hand lotion over her upper arms and vigorously rubbed it in . `` dad said we should leave you and max alone , '' annie astonished her by saying . that hardly sounded like the grant she remembered . i know he 's right . '' she looked steadily at bethanne . `` he also said he might 've already lost you , and if so , it 's what he deserved . '' grant said that ? `` dad told me you 'd have to make up your own mind . '' `` personally , i think my son has lost his , '' ruth murmured as she capped the lotion . `` the least he could do is show a little gumption and fight for you . '' unable to resist , bethanne smiled . ruth made it sound like the two men should choose their weapons and face off at dawn . `` this is grant 's business and yours , '' ruth went on . `` so i 'll butt out . besides , i have news . '' annie bounced on the bed . `` you called royce ! '' | [["think", 9], ["thinkest", 9], ["thought", 9], ["impossible", 32], ["feel", 40], ["way", 49], ["ways", 49], ["grant", 61], ["grantest", 61], ["left", 66], ["leave", 66], ["sure", 82], ["never", 93], ["able", 101], ["abled", 101], ["trust", 110], ["another", 118], ["man", 122], ["mans", 122], ["manned", 122], ["let", 128], ["lets", 128], ["alone", 134], ["give", 139], ["heart", 152], ["yes", 212], ["scare", 228], ["scared", 228], ["scares", 228], ["death", 240], ["kiss", 280], ["kisses", 280], ["kissest", 280], ["kissed", 280], ["side", 289], ["sidest", 289], ["neck", 301], ["necked", 301], ["lip", 314], ["lipped", 314], ["lips", 314], ["skin", 331], ["feel", 336], ["felt", 336], ["like", 341], ["mild", 348], ["electric", 357], ["shock", 363], ["think", 380], ["thinkest", 380], ["may", 389], ["mays", 389], ["mayest", 389], ["might", 389], ["good", 397], ["best", 397], ["go", 413], ["goest", 413], ["went", 413], ["room", 426], ["roomed", 426], ["rooms", 426], ["tired", 442], 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if he felt anything for this other woman , it was a brief attraction and nothing more . as soon as he returned to cedar cove , everything would be all right again . cal would come to his senses and his feelings for linnette would reassert themselves . `` that 's about all i can tell you , linnette . '' linnette could think of a thousand things she 'd rather hear . `` this is just a temporary infatuation , '' she said , making an effort to sound confident . trying to rationalize what she 'd been told . the librarian did n't answer . `` i need to talk to him , '' linnette insisted , urgency building inside her . `` it wo n't be long before cal 's back , so we should get this resolved . '' linnette could understand how such an infatuation , presumably mutual , might come about . working closely together in an isolated location . sharing a cause . yes , she saw how all of this could happen . but once cal was home again , he 'd forget his feelings for this other woman . cal was n't himself . `` i 'm certain you 'll have the opportunity to talk this out with him soon , '' grace murmured . `` of course i will , '' linnette said . the opportunity came much sooner than she 'd expected . when linnette got back to her car , she found a voice message from cal on her cell phone . sitting in the library parking lot , she returned his call . cal did n't answer , so she left a message for him . since she was afraid they 'd keep missing each other , she phoned again and told him she 'd be home that evening and would wait for his call there . she did n't hear from him until nearly eight . the waiting was agony , and she could feel one of her headaches coming on . pressing her fingertips to her temples , she paced the carpet , oblivious to the view of the cove or the bremerton shipyard with its massive aircraft carriers and retired submarines . late-evening sunlight dappled her deck but she hardly noticed . by the time cal finally did phone , linnette was almost convinced he had n't received her message . `` linnette , '' he began . `` you 'd better tell me what 's going on between you and vicki newman , '' she snapped , without giving him a chance to greet her . at this stage , linnette was long past exchanging pleasantries . `` about vicki , you mean ? '' she did n't let him respond . `` i thought you 'd ... i hoped we could speak honestly with each other . i think we owe each other that , do n't you ? '' `` i'm-m-m s-sorry . '' `` linnette , stop . '' his voice took on a strength and conviction that startled her . `` all right then , you 're forgiven . '' perhaps she 'd blown everything out of proportion . grace had n't talked to him personally and it seemed that cal had already regained his sanity . relief settled over her , easing the tension between her shoulder blades . the throbbing headache that had started to pound began to subside . `` i love vicki . '' linnette gasped . cal was n't making any sense . `` you just said you were sorry . you- '' `` i volunteered to travel to wyoming to rescue the mustangs because it 's important to me , yes , b-but also because i needed to get away and think . i needed to get away from you . '' he was telling her he 'd purposely left to escape her . `` i appreciate everything , i truly d-do . '' he paused as if to control his tendency to rush the words . i tried , but i c-could n't . '' `` i do n't do well with words . i thought once i was here , i 'd write to you . but when i arrived , a letter seemed so ... callous . '' `` i 'd give anything not to hurt you , '' he said in a low voice . pain swirled through her , cutting off her breath , undermining even her ability to stand upright . sinking into a chair , she clutched the phone with one hand and held the other against her forehead . `` there 's nothing physical between vicki and me , '' he said . `` i have n't even kissed her . '' `` and you believe you 're in love with her ? '' `` okay , okay , '' she said , thinking fast . `` you need to examine everything , cal . your feelings and reactions . the two of you are out there alone , and it makes sense that you might be attracted to her , but that 'll all change when you 're back home . '' `` no , '' he stated flatly . `` it wo n't change . '' she noticed how controlled his voice was , as if he knew exactly what he planned to say and had rehearsed it any number of times . `` i 'm coming back to cedar cove . | [["feel", 10], ["felt", 10], ["anything", 19], ["woman", 40], ["womans", 40], ["brief", 57], ["briefing", 57], ["attraction", 68], ["nothing", 80], ["soon", 95], ["return", 110], ["returnest", 110], ["returned", 110], ["cedar", 119], ["cedars", 119], ["cove", 124], ["coved", 124], ["everything", 137], ["right", 156], ["rightest", 156], ["cal", 168], ["come", 179], ["sense", 193], ["senses", 193], ["feeling", 210], ["feelings", 210], ["reassert", 238], ["tell", 283], ["think", 324], ["thinkest", 324], ["thousand", 338], ["thing", 345], ["things", 345], ["rather", 359], ["hear", 364], ["hears", 364], ["temporary", 394], ["infatuation", 406], ["say", 420], ["sayest", 420], ["said", 420], ["effort", 439], ["sound", 448], ["confident", 458], ["try", 467], ["tryed", 467], ["trying", 467], ["rationalize", 482], 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the burning in his veins lessened as her presence calmed his edgy instincts . he could n't separate from her again . if he did , he would n't make it through the rest of this day . cassie glanced at the redhead and gave her a brief nod before turning her full attention back to him . the sound of her laugh was beautiful and sweet , like the gentle ring of wind chimes . her eyes twinkled merrily as her laughter broke off , but she continued to smile at him as they made their way down the hall . `` most people look forward to study hall ; it 's their favorite time of day , other than lunch of course , '' she informed him . devon shook his head as he realized that he would never understand teenage humans . her smile slid away as she looked at him questioningly . she smiled again , and shook back a strand of golden hair that slid into one of her eyes . without thinking , he brushed the hair aside . she froze , her breath caught in her chest , as his fingers lingered on her skin . he found he could n't take his hand away as he caressed the delicate contours of her face . she did n't move , did n't even breathe as she watched him in fascinated awe . her heartbeat kicked up , her pulse pounded loudly through her veins.. his hand fell away as chris 's prickly voice broke the odd spell holding them both hostage . he took a step closer to her , a wave of possessiveness tore through him as chris appeared at her side . chris 's blue eyes narrowed as he met devon 's gaze and his shoulders stiffened . `` hi chris , '' she greeted . `` i was just checking to make sure you had done it . '' devon was nowhere near as confused as chris shot him a dark look . though melissa felt that they were more like siblings , devon was beginning to believe that chris 's feelings were not so platonic , and chris did n't like the competition that devon threw into the mix . devon did n't particularly care what chris thought . cassie was going to be his no matter what . his shoulder brushed against hers as he took another step closer . though it had been a clear dismissal , chris hung around for a few seconds more . he glanced briefly at cassie before turning on his heel and disappearing into the thick throng of students . he wanted to stay here , with her , but he was in her world now , and unfortunately he had to obey the rules that came with it . the only good thing was they had the same class now . he followed her down the hall , taking note of the people surrounding him for the first time , or at least taking note of the boys . many of them did n't acknowledge his presence as they watched her go by . his temper bristled at the obvious lust behind their stares . they did n't care about his presence , every one of them would easily ignore him if they thought they had a chance to talk to her . he 'd been assigned a seat a few desks away from her , but he was n't going to sit there today . though he could n't touch her , he was n't moving any further away from her than this . chris and melissa entered the room with their heads bent close together as they talked quietly . chris grew quiet as his eyes darted toward him and cassie . the boy who had been assigned devon 's seat hesitated for a moment , and looked as if he was going to argue with the new arrangement . cassie ducked her head and chuckled faintly . unable to resist her anymore , he leaned across the aisle and took her hand . the teacher breezed into the classroom , dropped her books on her desk , and turned toward the chalkboard . though she had n't noticed them yet , it was only a matter of time before she did . he reluctantly released cassie 's hand . his mouth started to water as the burning in his veins intensified . clenching his teeth , and fists , he forced himself to stay calm . her touch relieved the aching tension coiled within him as her smile warmed him . he teased , unable to stop himself from grinning at her like a fool as they made their way outside . i 'd be happy to show you around town though . '' `` great , i 'll uh oh crap . '' the smile slid from her face as her forehead creased . students milled past them , eager to get to their cars and escape the crowded parking lot . she glanced over her shoulder to where chris was leaning out of his car with his arm resting on the driver 's door . melissa was by the passenger door , her dark eyes narrowed as she studied them . `` i 'll see you tomorrow then , '' he said though he knew he would see her before then . he did n't understand what was going on with her , but she seemed to be releasing him for good . he was not going to let her go . | [["burning", 11], ["vein", 24], ["veins", 24], ["lessen", 33], ["lessened", 33], ["presence", 49], ["calm", 56], ["calms", 56], ["calmed", 56], ["edgy", 65], ["instinct", 75], ["instincts", 75], ["separate", 99], ["rest", 166], ["day", 178], ["cassie", 187], ["glance", 195], ["glanced", 195], ["redhead", 210], ["give", 219], ["gave", 219], ["brief", 231], ["briefing", 231], ["nod", 235], ["turn", 250], ["turning", 250], ["full", 259], ["attention", 269], ["back", 274], ["sound", 293], ["laugh", 306], ["beautiful", 320], ["beautifulest", 320], ["sweet", 330], ["like", 337], ["gentle", 348], ["gentler", 348], ["rung", 353], ["rang", 353], ["ring", 353], ["wind", 361], ["chime", 368], ["chimes", 368], ["eye", 379], ["eyed", 379], ["eyes", 379], ["twinkle", 388], ["twinkled", 388], ["merrily", 396], ["laughter", 412], ["break", 418], ["broke", 418], ["continue", 442], ["continued", 442], ["smile", 451], ["way", 481], ["ways", 481], ["hall", 495], ["people", 512], ["look", 517], ["forward", 525], ["forwardest", 525], ["forwarding", 525], ["study", 534], ["favorite", 562], ["favoritest", 562], ["time", 567], ["lunch", 593], ["lunched", 593], ["lunches", 593], ["course", 603], ["inform", 621], ["informs", 621], ["informed", 621], ["devon", 633], ["shake", 639], ["shook", 639], ["head", 648], ["realize", 663], ["realized", 663], ["never", 683], ["understand", 694], ["understanded", 694], ["teenage", 702], ["human", 709], ["humans", 709], ["slid", 726], ["away", 731], ["look", 745], ["looked", 745], ["questioningly", 766], ["smile", 779], ["smiled", 779], ["strand", 811], ["golden", 821], ["hair", 826], ["without", 867], ["think", 876], ["thinkest", 876], ["thinking", 876], ["brush", 889], ["brushest", 889], ["brushed", 889], ["aside", 904], ["froze", 916], ["frozen", 916], ["freeze", 916], ["freezing", 916], ["breath", 929], ["breathest", 929], ["catch", 936], ["catches", 936], ["catched", 936], ["caught", 936], ["chest", 949], ["finger", 966], ["fingers", 966], ["linger", 975], ["lingered", 975], ["skin", 987], ["find", 998], ["found", 998], ["take", 1016], ["hand", 1025], ["caress", 1045], ["caressed", 1045], ["delicate", 1058], ["face", 1079], ["move", 1098], ["even", 1113], ["evens", 1113], ["breathes", 1121], ["watch", 1136], ["watched", 1136], ["awe", 1158], ["awed", 1158], ["heartbeat", 1174], ["heartbeats", 1174], ["kick", 1181], ["kicked", 1181], ["pulse", 1196], ["pound", 1204], ["pounded", 1204], ["loudly", 1211], ["fall", 1245], ["falls", 1245], ["fell", 1245], ["chris", 1259], ["prickly", 1270], ["voice", 1276], ["odd", 1290], ["spelt", 1296], ["spell", 1296], ["hold", 1304], ["holding", 1304], ["hostage", 1322], ["take", 1332], ["took", 1332], ["step", 1339], ["close", 1346], ["closer", 1346], ["wave", 1362], ["waved", 1362], ["possessiveness", 1380], ["tear", 1385], ["teared", 1385], ["tore", 1385], ["appear", 1415], ["appeared", 1415], ["side", 1427], ["sidest", 1427], ["blue", 1443], ["narrow", 1457], ["narrowed", 1457], ["meet", 1467], ["meeted", 1467], ["met", 1467], ["gaze", 1481], ["gazes", 1481], ["shoulder", 1499], ["shouldered", 1499], ["shoulders", 1499], ["stiffen", 1509], ["stiffens", 1509], ["stiffened", 1509], ["hi", 1517], ["greet", 1540], ["greeting", 1540], ["greeted", 1540], ["check", 1565], ["checking", 1565], ["sure", 1578], ["nowhere", 1617], ["near", 1622], ["shoot", 1648], ["shooted", 1648], ["shot", 1648], ["dark", 1659], ["though", 1673], ["melissa", 1681], ["feel", 1686], ["felt", 1686], ["siblings", 1720], ["begin", 1742], ["beginning", 1742], ["believe", 1753], ["feeling", 1776], ["feelings", 1776], ["platonic", 1797], ["competition", 1838], ["throw", 1855], ["threw", 1855], ["mix", 1868], ["mixed", 1868], ["particularly", 1897], ["think", 1921], ["thinkest", 1921], ["thought", 1921], ["go", 1940], ["goest", 1940], ["going", 1940], ["matter", 1960], ["mattering", 1960], ["shoulder", 1980], ["shouldered", 1980], ["another", 2020], ["clear", 2061], ["clearest", 2061], ["dismissal", 2071], ["hung", 2084], ["hang", 2084], ["hangs", 2084], ["around", 2091], ["second", 2109], ["seconded", 2109], ["seconds", 2109], ["briefly", 2135], ["heel", 2172], ["heeled", 2172], ["disappear", 2189], ["disappearing", 2189], ["thick", 2204], ["thickest", 2204], ["throng", 2211], ["thronged", 2211], ["student", 2223], ["students", 2223], ["stay", 2243], ["world", 2285], ["unfortunately", 2309], ["obey", 2324], ["obeyed", 2324], ["rule", 2334], ["rules", 2334], ["come", 2344], ["came", 2344], ["good", 2368], ["thing", 2374], ["class", 2402], ["classing", 2402], ["classest", 2402], ["follow", 2420], ["followed", 2420], ["take", 2447], ["taking", 2447], ["note", 2452], ["surround", 2478], ["surrounding", 2478], ["first", 2496], ["firstest", 2496], ["least", 2515], ["leastest", 2515], ["boy", 2539], ["boys", 2539], ["many", 2546], ["acknowledge", 2574], ["go", 2610], ["goest", 2610], ["temper", 2626], ["bristle", 2635], ["bristled", 2635], ["obvious", 2650], ["lust", 2655], ["lusts", 2655], ["behind", 2662], ["stare", 2675], ["stared", 2675], ["stares", 2675], ["every", 2722], ["easily", 2747], ["ignore", 2754], ["chance", 2792], ["chanced", 2792], ["chancing", 2792], ["talk", 2800], ["assign", 2829], ["assigning", 2829], ["assignest", 2829], ["assigned", 2829], ["seat", 2836], ["desk", 2848], ["desks", 2848], ["sat", 2892], ["sit", 2892], ["today", 2904], ["touch", 2932], ["touching", 2932], ["move", 2956], ["moving", 2956], ["enter", 3020], ["entered", 3020], ["room", 3029], ["roomed", 3029], ["head", 3046], ["heads", 3046], ["bend", 3051], ["bent", 3051], ["close", 3057], ["together", 3066], ["talk", 3081], ["talked", 3081], ["quietly", 3089], ["grow", 3102], ["growest", 3102], ["grew", 3102], ["quiet", 3108], ["dart", 3127], ["darted", 3127], ["toward", 3134], ["boy", 3159], ["hesitate", 3205], ["hesitated", 3205], ["moment", 3218], ["argue", 3259], ["new", 3272], ["arrangement", 3284], ["duck", 3300], ["ducked", 3300], ["chuckle", 3322], ["chuckled", 3322], ["faintly", 3330], ["unable", 3339], ["unabled", 3339], ["resist", 3349], ["resistest", 3349], ["anymore", 3361], ["lean", 3373], ["leans", 3373], ["leaned", 3373], ["across", 3380], ["aisle", 3390], ["aisles", 3390], ["teacher", 3422], ["breeze", 3430], ["breezing", 3430], ["breezed", 3430], ["classroom", 3449], ["drop", 3459], ["dropped", 3459], ["book", 3469], ["books", 3469], ["desk", 3481], ["turn", 3494], ["turned", 3494], ["chalkboard", 3516], ["chalkboards", 3516], ["notice", 3545], ["noticed", 3545], ["yet", 3554], ["reluctantly", 3617], ["release", 3626], ["released", 3626], ["mouth", 3653], ["mouthed", 3653], ["start", 3661], ["started", 3661], ["water", 3670], ["intensify", 3710], ["intensified", 3710], ["clench", 3722], ["clenched", 3722], ["tooth", 3732], ["teeth", 3732], ["fist", 3744], ["fists", 3744], ["force", 3756], ["forced", 3756], ["calm", 3777], ["calms", 3777], ["relieve", 3798], ["relieved", 3798], ["ache", 3809], ["ached", 3809], ["aching", 3809], ["tension", 3817], ["coil", 3824], ["coiled", 3824], ["within", 3831], ["warm", 3855], ["warmed", 3855], ["tease", 3871], ["teased", 3871], ["stop", 3888], ["grin", 3910], ["fool", 3929], ["foolest", 3929], ["fooling", 3929], ["outside", 3960], ["happy", 3976], ["show", 3984], ["town", 4000], ["great", 4021], ["uh", 4032], ["oh", 4035], ["crap", 4040], ["crapped", 4040], ["forehead", 4090], ["crease", 4098], ["creased", 4098], ["mill", 4116], ["milling", 4116], ["milled", 4116], ["past", 4121], ["eager", 4134], ["get", 4141], ["car", 4155], ["cars", 4155], ["escape", 4166], ["escapes", 4166], ["crowd", 4178], ["crowdest", 4178], ["crowding", 4178], ["crowded", 4178], ["parking", 4186], ["lot", 4190], ["lean", 4249], ["leans", 4249], ["leaning", 4249], ["car", 4264], ["arm", 4277], ["rest", 4285], ["resting", 4285], ["driver", 4299], ["door", 4307], ["passenger", 4338], ["study", 4383], ["studied", 4383], ["see", 4403], ["tomorrow", 4416], ["tomorrows", 4416], ["say", 4434], ["sayest", 4434], ["said", 4434], ["know", 4449], ["knowest", 4449], ["knew", 4449], ["seem", 4546], ["seeming", 4546], ["seemed", 4546], ["release", 4562], ["releasing", 4562], ["let", 4601], ["lets", 4601]] |
she felt frightened and helpless and she hoped she was telling the truth . no more than a minute later , laurel grunted and started panting again . suddenly , the infant slipped free . he seemed to glide directly into alix 's hands . with him came a gush of water and blood . tears filled alix 's eyes . `` it 's a boy , '' she told laurel . he did n't cry right away and alix 's heart leapt in panic . acting on instinct , she placed her finger inside his mouth , swabbing it clean . then she turned him over on his belly and patted his back . instantly he let out a fierce , belligerent cry . joy surged through alix and she stared up at her friend . `` he 's beautiful , '' she said , awed by the wonder of this moment . a new life had just entered the world . laurel refused to look at him and turned her face away . `` cut the cord , '' she instructed without emotion . `` i ... i do n't think i should ... '' `` do it , '' laurel demanded . alix found a knife in the kitchen and , afraid she might infect either her friend or the baby , put it in a pan full of water , which she set on the stove to boil . she dashed back into the living room just in time to deliver the afterbirth . as soon as she 'd cut the cord , alix took the baby into the bathroom and cleaned him off . then she wrapped him in the blanket she 'd knit in class . certain laurel would have a change of heart now that the birth was over , alix carried the newborn into the living room , hoping to coax her roommate into at least glancing at her son . `` just look at him once , '' alix pleaded . `` he 's perfect , laurel . '' laurel refused again with a shake of her head . alix could n't believe anyone could be so coldhearted . `` then give it to me and i will . '' `` will ... what will you do ? '' alix protectively cradled the infant . `` i 'll take it to some dumpster and leave it there . '' laurel did n't even seem to consider this infant a child . she referred to him as `` it . '' she said in a horrified voice . `` you do n't want this baby . '' laurel shouted . `` get rid of that thing . '' with one arm around the newborn , alix controlled her racing thoughts . if laurel did n't want this baby , she knew someone who did . `` sign something . '' laurel stared up at her blankly . `` i need a statement from you that says you 're giving up this baby of your own free will . '' `` who am i giving this baby to ? '' `` to a couple for adoption . '' alix took a deep breath . `` i know someone who desperately wants and needs a child . i want her and her husband to raise this baby boy . you might not love him , but i know carol will . i feel personally responsible for him now . like you said , you want me to get rid of him . '' `` you are n't going to change your mind ? '' then as if to prove her point , she grabbed the knife and raised her arm as if she meant to kill the infant on the spot . `` i want it dead or out of my life , understand ? what more do i have to say to prove it ? just get rid of it ! i do n't care what you do as long as you get it out of here . '' as she held the screaming infant in her arms , alix grabbed a sheet of paper and a pen , then handed them to her friend . sitting up , laurel quickly scribbled a few lines and signed her name . alix read them over , then returned to the bedroom . she set the baby on her bed and jerked on clothes as fast as her shaking hands would allow . the infant gazed up at her and alix bent down and kissed his forehead . `` i wish you 'd had a warmer welcome to the world , little boy , '' she whispered . `` but i know someone who 'll love you . '' without another word to laurel , alix threw her purse over her shoulder and walked out of the apartment . it was early friday morning and the streets were dark and eerie . moving as fast as she could with the baby held against her chest , alix stepped into the foyer of annie 's cafe where there was a pay phone . she searched for fifty cents and then pulled out the piece of paper jordan had given her with his phone number . she inserted the coins and pressed the receiver to her ear as she punched in the numbers . `` oh please , be there , '' she whispered . jordan did n't answer until the fifth ring , just when alix was about to hang up in frustration and despair . | [["feel", 8], ["felt", 8], ["helpless", 32], ["hope", 46], ["hoped", 46], ["tell", 62], ["telling", 62], ["truth", 72], ["minute", 96], ["later", 102], ["laurel", 111], ["grunt", 119], ["grunted", 119], ["start", 131], ["started", 131], ["pant", 139], ["panting", 139], ["suddenly", 156], ["infant", 169], ["slip", 177], ["slipped", 177], ["free", 182], ["seem", 194], ["seeming", 194], ["seemed", 194], ["glide", 203], ["directly", 212], ["alix", 222], ["hand", 231], ["hands", 231], ["come", 247], ["came", 247], ["gush", 254], ["gushest", 254], ["water", 263], ["blood", 273], ["bloods", 273], ["blooded", 273], ["tear", 281], ["teared", 281], ["tears", 281], ["fill", 288], ["fills", 288], ["filled", 288], ["eye", 301], ["eyed", 301], ["eyes", 301], ["boy", 318], ["tell", 332], ["told", 332], ["cry", 356], ["right", 362], ["rightest", 362], ["away", 367], ["heart", 385], ["leapt", 391], ["panic", 400], ["act", 409], ["acted", 409], ["acting", 409], ["instinct", 421], ["place", 434], ["placed", 434], ["finger", 445], ["inside", 452], ["mouth", 462], ["mouthed", 462], ["swab", 473], ["swabs", 473], ["swabbing", 473], ["clean", 482], ["cleans", 482], ["turn", 500], ["turned", 500], ["belly", 522], ["bellied", 522], ["pat", 533], ["patted", 533], ["back", 542], ["instantly", 554], ["let", 561], ["lets", 561], ["fierce", 574], ["belligerent", 588], ["joy", 598], ["joys", 598], ["joyed", 598], ["surge", 605], ["surged", 605], ["stare", 633], ["stared", 633], ["friend", 650], ["beautiful", 671], ["beautifulest", 671], ["say", 685], ["sayest", 685], ["said", 685], ["awe", 692], ["awed", 692], ["wonder", 706], ["wonderest", 706], ["moment", 721], ["new", 729], ["life", 734], ["lifes", 734], ["enter", 751], ["entered", 751], ["world", 761], ["refuse", 778], ["refused", 778], ["look", 786], ["face", 813], ["cut", 827], ["cord", 836], ["instruct", 856], ["instructest", 856], ["instructed", 856], ["without", 864], ["emotion", 872], ["think", 898], ["thinkest", 898], ["demand", 944], ["demandest", 944], ["demanded", 944], ["find", 957], ["found", 957], ["knife", 965], ["knifes", 965], ["kitchen", 980], ["kitchens", 980], ["afraid", 993], ["may", 1003], ["mays", 1003], ["mayest", 1003], ["might", 1003], ["infect", 1010], ["either", 1017], ["baby", 1040], ["put", 1046], ["pan", 1058], ["pans", 1058], 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1704], ["give", 1719], ["protectively", 1796], ["cradle", 1804], ["cradled", 1804], ["take", 1831], ["dumpster", 1851], ["dumpsters", 1851], ["left", 1861], ["leave", 1861], ["even", 1895], ["evens", 1895], ["seem", 1900], ["seeming", 1900], ["consider", 1912], ["child", 1932], ["childs", 1932], ["refer", 1947], ["referred", 1947], ["voice", 1998], ["shout", 2049], ["shouted", 2049], ["get", 2058], ["rid", 2062], ["thing", 2076], ["arm", 2094], ["around", 2101], ["control", 2131], ["controlled", 2131], ["thought", 2151], ["thoughts", 2151], ["know", 2197], ["knowest", 2197], ["knew", 2197], ["sign", 2223], ["blankly", 2270], ["need", 2282], ["needest", 2282], ["statement", 2294], ["say", 2313], ["sayest", 2313], ["says", 2313], ["give", 2328], ["giving", 2328], ["couple", 2420], ["adoption", 2433], ["deep", 2455], ["deeply", 2455], ["breath", 2462], ["breathest", 2462], ["know", 2474], ["knowest", 2474], ["desperately", 2498], ["need", 2514], ["needest", 2514], ["needs", 2514], ["husband", 2551], ["husbanding", 2551], ["raise", 2560], ["love", 2595], ["carol", 2618], ["caroling", 2618], ["carolling", 2618], ["feel", 2632], ["personally", 2643], ["responsible", 2655], ["like", 2674], ["go", 2741], ["goest", 2741], ["going", 2741], ["mind", 2761], ["minding", 2761], ["prof", 2786], ["prove", 2786], ["point", 2796], ["grab", 2810], ["grabbed", 2810], ["raise", 2831], ["raised", 2831], ["mean", 2855], ["meanest", 2855], ["meant", 2855], ["kill", 2863], ["spot", 2886], ["dead", 2906], ["understand", 2937], ["understanded", 2937], ["say", 2966], ["sayest", 2966], ["care", 3015], ["long", 3035], ["longs", 3035], ["hold", 3078], ["held", 3078], ["scream", 3092], ["screams", 3092], ["screaming", 3092], ["arm", 3111], ["arms", 3111], ["sheet", 3134], ["paper", 3143], ["pen", 3153], ["hand", 3167], ["handed", 3167], ["sat", 3196], ["sit", 3196], ["sitting", 3196], ["quickly", 3216], ["scribble", 3226], ["scribbled", 3226], ["line", 3238], ["lines", 3238], ["sign", 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["stepped", 3859], ["foyer", 3874], ["annie", 3883], ["cafe", 3891], ["pay", 3913], ["pays", 3913], ["payest", 3913], ["phone", 3919], ["search", 3934], ["searched", 3934], ["fifty", 3944], ["cent", 3950], ["cents", 3950], ["pull", 3966], ["pulled", 3966], ["piece", 3980], ["pieced", 3980], ["jordan", 3996], ["give", 4006], ["given", 4006], ["number", 4032], ["numbering", 4032], ["insert", 4047], ["inserted", 4047], ["coin", 4057], ["coins", 4057], ["press", 4069], ["pressed", 4069], ["receiver", 4082], ["ear", 4093], ["punch", 4108], ["punching", 4108], ["punched", 4108], ["number", 4123], ["numbering", 4123], ["numbers", 4123], ["oh", 4131], ["please", 4138], ["answer", 4192], ["answeres", 4192], ["answerest", 4192], ["fifth", 4208], ["rung", 4213], ["rang", 4213], ["ring", 4213], ["hung", 4248], ["hang", 4248], ["hangs", 4248], ["frustration", 4266], ["despair", 4278], ["despairing", 4278]] |
and connor will look after it while we 're on honeymoon-michael dotes on that house . '' `` i suppose i can drop round in my lunch hour-that way i wo n't bump into him . '' then victoria clicked her tongue . `` suzy , you 're not intending to start off your marriage with a houseguest , are you ? '' `` oh , no , he 's not the type to be a third wheel-though he 's helped michael heaps with the house . michael could never have done as much alone . no , connor will find a place while we 're on honeymoon . michael just felt he needed a few days to get over the shock of losing his woman , his home and his business in one shot . '' victoria steeled herself against a sneaky twinge of sympathy . however hard a time he 'd had , it was no reason to attack suzy . `` i 'm sure he 'll recover . '' `` please be nice to him , tory . '' suzy stretched her blue eyes wide . `` i do n't want the wedding photos ruined because the maid of honor and best man have a fistfight . '' no sane woman could live with a jerk like him . telling himself that the dislike was mutual did n't stop the maid of honor 's words from rankling as connor marched across the car park tucked away behind the church hall . he came to a stop where michael mason rummaged in the trunk of a modest toyota parked in the dark shade of two tall pines . `` that woman is a menace . '' connor dropped the basket filled with hymn books into the trunk next to the black rollaway bag . the groom 's head came up , and the brown eyes of a man connor met twice weekly for a killer game of squash grew cool as michael said with deceptive mildness , `` suzy is going to be my wife , connor . you 've got it bad . '' his mouth slanted as michael tensed . `` steady on , i was talking about the maid of honor . '' michael slammed the trunk shut . `` she 's been friends with suzy for decades . in fact- '' the sudden gleam in michael 's eyes had connor bringing his hands up in front of him to ward off the inevitable . `` do n't go there-she 's not my type . '' the woman was way too opinionated . michael ignored the warning . `` maybe you need a change from blonds . in fact , suzy and i thought she might be the perfect antidote to dana . '' fresh annoyance surged through connor at the memory of overhearing suzy telling her friend that he 'd been dumped by his girlfriend . and the sympathy in her eyes when she 'd said she understood why he was upset . hell , he was n't upset . he was damned mad . mad at dana . mad at paul harper . mad at michael for divulging a confidence . and mad at the irritating , interfering witch who 'd forced an apology out of him . breathing deeply , he said , `` i gather you told suzy all about dana ? '' michael extracted a set of car keys from his pants pocket and activated the remote to unlock the doors . she would 've found out anyway . '' `` my business partner and my girlfriend ... and i was the last to know . '' connor tried to laugh as he went around to the passenger side . `` soap opera stuff , huh ? '' the raw hurt and betrayal that two days earlier had scorched all the way to his soul resurfaced . he hated the thought of people picking over the details of his devastated life . `` what paul did was unforgivable . '' michael 's mouth was firm as he settled in the seat beside connor . `` and dana was more than your girlfriend . the woman 's been living with you for nearly two years . hell , you even made her a director of harper-north . '' how connor regretted wednesday 's drunken bout of self-pity . he 'd been away , laying the groundwork to open harper-north 's first australian office . on his return from sydney , dana had hit him with the news that their relationship was over . she had a new lover-the man he 'd gone to university with , the man he 'd founded a business with . his former best friend . connor had gone to michael 's house , gotten drunk , and blurted it all out . `` the whole world shifted on its axis in the three weeks i was gone . '' connor raked his hands through his hair . the mundane thought steadied him . `` came back to find my life in uproar and you planning marriage . '' i 've know suzy a while , even though we only started dating about a month ago . '' `` after two years i did n't know what kind of treachery dana was capable of . | [["connor", 10], ["look", 20], ["honeymoon", 55], ["michael", 63], ["dote", 69], ["dotes", 69], ["house", 83], ["suppose", 101], ["drop", 112], ["round", 118], ["lunch", 130], ["lunched", 130], ["lunches", 130], ["hour", 135], ["way", 144], ["ways", 144], ["wo", 149], ["bump", 158], ["bumpest", 158], ["victoria", 186], ["click", 194], ["clicked", 194], ["tongue", 205], ["tonguing", 205], ["suzy", 215], ["intend", 239], ["intendest", 239], ["intending", 239], ["start", 248], ["marriage", 266], ["houseguest", 284], ["oh", 305], ["type", 331], ["third", 345], ["wheel", 351], ["wheeled", 351], ["though", 358], ["help", 371], ["helpest", 371], ["helped", 371], ["heap", 385], ["heaps", 385], ["heaping", 385], ["never", 422], ["much", 440], ["alone", 446], ["find", 470], ["place", 478], ["feel", 524], ["felt", 524], ["need", 534], ["needest", 534], ["needed", 534], ["day", 545], ["days", 545], ["get", 552], 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we have vehicles stuck all up and down this road today . i 'd hate for you to be one of them . '' tucking the vibrator under his arm , he made his way back to the cab and tried to get as much slush off as possible before climbing into the blissfully warm interior . he handed the vibrator to vivian . she took the vibrator and switched it on . `` i thought you 'd be standing out there forever ! what did that cop want , anyway ? '' `` she thought we might have some trouble because it looked like we 'd pulled off the road abruptly . '' vivian smiled and ran the vibrator along his thigh . `` did you tell her i had you by the short hairs ? '' he watched the vibrator and found himself responding , whether he wanted to or not . `` i think you did n't say that . i 'll bet you had no idea what to say when you were caught out in broad daylight with a bright green vibrator in your hand . '' `` look , i have to pull into traffic , and she 's going to be back there watching . you 'd better turn that off . '' does she have x-ray vision ? '' `` she said we should n't operate it while the vehicle is moving . '' `` vivian , stop looking like that . she was n't giving an order , just making a suggestion . '' `` just drive , kurt , baby . '' `` are you going to tarn it off ? '' she jabbed him in the crotch with the vibrator , which made him jump . checking quickly for traffic , he gunned the motor and the truck lurched forward onto the pavement . the fifth wheel jerked sideways , but then it followed , thank god . the hum of the vibrator continued , but at least vivian was n't running it along his thigh anymore . he glanced in the side mirror and , sure enough , the cop was tailing them . he 'd have to drive like a damned saint until the cop got bored and peeled off . and driving like a saint would n't be easy . vivian had unzipped her khaki cargo pants . he should never have told her the officer had advised against using the vibrator when the vehicle was moving . being vivian , she intended to do exactly that . * * * chapter fourteen ally wondered if there was any way during this store visit that she could skip out to take some pictures . maybe mitchell would get absorbed in looking at the chain-saw nudes . she 'd never met a man yet who was n't intrigued by nude sculptures , no matter whether the boobs matched or not . then again , she was dying to know if he 'd try to buy condoms , and if he could accomplish it without causing a stir . but if she wanted to escape to go tramping around on the outskirts of town looking for critters , she 'd have to give up the potential of watching him fumble his way through the condom situation . and she did want to go tramping around . that 's what she 'd come to alaska for . she needed to remember that no matter how mitchell tempted her , she had n't come to alaska for sex . betsy led the way into heavenly provisions . `` hey , serena , '' betsy called out , as if she were dropping in on a neighbor . `` i 've brought you some customers . '' a woman 's voice drifted from a back room . `` i have to finish setting the candle wicks ! '' ally unzipped her coat and pushed back her hood as she glanced around with interest . grammy would have turned up her nose at the musty old place , but ally liked it . if she were n't so eager to get outside and take pictures , she could prowl around in here for hours . everything was so different from what she 'd known in bel air . she 'd never been in a place where the walls were decorated with animal skins . even the hunting and fishing gear fascinated her . she was n't into that , but the colorful paraphernalia would make a cool photo collage . three sets of free-standing shelves in the middle of the store held the bulk of the grocery-store part , although ally noticed boots and hats interspersed with crackers and canned veggies . heavy knit sweaters hung on a rack in one corner . a glass case under the front counter was filled with native indian jewelry , much of it with a porcupine theme , plus several colorful pillar candles , which probably explained serena 's comment . the chain-saw nudes paraded across a ledge behind the counter . they were of varying heights , with the average being about four feet . these girls had serious problems , and matching boobs were the least of them . for one thing , none of them had necks , or even much in the way of faces . their chest measurements were substantial , but as betsy had noted , no two br**sts were alike . | [["vehicle", 16], ["vehicled", 16], ["vehicles", 16], ["stick", 22], ["stickest", 22], ["stuck", 22], ["road", 48], ["today", 54], ["hateed", 66], ["tuck", 105], ["tucked", 105], ["tucking", 105], ["vibrator", 118], ["arm", 132], ["way", 150], ["ways", 150], ["back", 155], ["cab", 166], ["cabs", 166], ["try", 176], ["tryed", 176], ["tried", 176], ["get", 183], ["much", 191], ["slush", 197], ["slushes", 197], ["possible", 213], ["climb", 229], ["climbing", 229], ["blissfully", 249], ["warm", 254], ["interior", 263], ["hand", 275], ["handed", 275], ["vivian", 298], ["take", 309], ["took", 309], ["switch", 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he 's in the states for the next few months , and we 're spending some time together . '' `` you know what the press says about him ? about his sex life ? '' the man was still a parent , even though she was far from being a child . we 've worked it out . '' time for a change of subject , before he asked what that meant , before he asked where she 'd been-and who she 'd been with-before going to houston . `` watch yourself , '' he said instead . so much for the subject change . he barked the words , as if he hated to admit them . `` when i look back , i wonder if , after your mother died , your brothers and i sheltered you too much . what do you know about a guy with a lifestyle like jesse 's ? '' oh , she 'd learned plenty from deke and luc , including heartache . you did a great job being both a mom and dad . logan and hunter were typical overprotective brothers who ran off all my dates and made fun of me every time i put on a shred of makeup , but i 'm not too mentally scarred . her dad 's husky laugh warmed her heart . `` i 've known jesse a long time , '' she continued . `` we 've waited years for this opportunity . we just need to figure it out together . '' `` i do n't see you being a superstar 's groupie . '' the frown in his voice could n't be any more obvious . kimber had trouble with that picture , too , in truth . she could n't live on the road the way jesse did , but could she just leave him to run off with the band and live the way he always had ? even if he wanted to `` change , '' that would take time . and what would happen if , someday , they followed through on the possibilities they 'd discussed over the years and got married ? could she stop loving deke , wanting him , enough to say `` i do '' to someone else ? how had that man turned all her plans upside down in a handful of days ? `` i 'm not going to be a groupie . and right now is our time to figure out what we 'll be to each other . he used to be a good enough kid , but what i hear now ... dad said it with such conviction . still , he had n't seen jesse in years , just heard about him . just ... be careful , in more ways than one . '' `` i 'm on my way home from thailand right now . when i get there , i want to check on you , check your brothers , the house . '' `` is someone still threatening you ? '' sending creepy e-mails and leaving menacing messages . i do n't know who i 've pissed off , or how serious he is . you know crackpots , and some never get past the threatening stage . but this one has mentioned you and said he 'll hurt you to hurt me . '' `` this is n't new , and nothing has ever happened to me . '' `` there 's always a first . this one seems tenacious , so i 'd feel better if you did n't go anywhere alone right now . remember your self-defense . i ca n't persuade you to carry , can i ? '' unease sliced through her , razor-thin but impossible to get complacent and let their guard down . who knew if this guy fit that profile ? `` i 'm not getting a permit to carry a handgun . i 'm surrounded by people here . '' her dad growled into the phone , like he wanted to say something more , but knew it was a futile argument . `` so , you 're going to come visit your old man while i 'm home , are n't you ? '' `` jesse 's tour stops in dallas on the second night . i 'll drive out while we 're there . i 'm looking forward to seeing you . '' take care , little girl . he had n't called her that in years . had n't said anything remotely emotional in even longer . chapter 9 `` how was rehearsal ? '' kimber asked as jesse entered the hotel suite late in the afternoon nearly a week later . he was shirtless , his longish hair wet from a recent shower . with a towel in one hand , a bottle of water in the other , he strode into the room , all lazy-hipped grace . the sleek bulge of his shoulder moved sinuously every time he swiped at his hair with the towel . his masculine throat worked with each swallow of water . his perfectly symmetrical features pulled into a balanced smile . in the last five years , he 'd definitely grown . no longer a cute boy , quite simply , he 'd become a gorgeous man . no wonder he was on posters , billboards , and magazine covers all over the world . after years of sightless communication with him , kimber was almost stunned anew by his beauty . she enjoyed looking at him . | [["state", 19], ["states", 19], ["next", 32], ["month", 43], ["months", 43], ["spend", 65], ["spends", 65], ["spendest", 65], ["time", 75], ["together", 84], ["know", 101], 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tink offered hayley his arm and she wove her arm around his and then he escorted her into the parlor . `` you clean up nice , '' i said , `` i bet alexander would n't recognize you . '' `` it 's okay , '' hayley said with a wink , `` a mutual acquaintance . '' `` tell us more about your travels . '' tink suggested . i 'd heard some of hayley 's story before and noticed she left out the part about alexander , but i also remembered she had said alexander was just fun . i hoped tink was n't just fun . i looked over at melanie and discretely mouthed , 'you are so right ' . we 'd been talking for more than an hour when there was suddenly tires on the gravel driveway out front . we all froze , including hayley . apparently he did n't totally get my hint . he knocked , and then opened the door . hayley whispered . `` anyone home ? jason stepped into the foyer . hayley screeched and bolted toward the door . i launched myself into her path . the pillar between the foyer and parlor splintered as we crashed into it . tink , nathan and benjamin raced toward us . i rolled off of her , putting myself between hayley and jason . he was so startled , he fell . i grabbed him up off the floor and pressed him behind me . when i looked back , benjaim and nathan were holding the upper timber from falling and tink was knelt down at hayley 's side . `` i 'm so sorry , '' hayley said as tink pulled her to her feet . `` i did n't mean to startle everyone , it 's just i recognized himwho does n't love jason ? '' `` no harm . '' `` except to the house , '' nathan complained . `` we 're going to need to replace the timber . '' `` there 's an extra one in the garage . '' tink turned to hayley . tink raced out of the house and returned with the large slab of wood over his shoulder . he made quick work of chopping it down to size . while nathan and benjaim heaved upward , tink pressed the beam into position . nathan and benjamin let the ceiling down onto the new beam . `` that should do for now . '' jason slipped his hand into mine and stepped out from behind me . `` hey , hayley . some entrance , huh ? '' i relaxed and jason nudged me forward . `` i 'm sorry , hayley . i guess i over reacted . '' `` it 's okay , you were just protecting him . '' she looked down at her dress . `` i 'm sorry , but i 've torn your beautiful dress , elizabeth . '' `` i 'm quite handy with a needle and thread . '' tink said before elizabeth could respond . `` perhaps after i darn your dress , we could go for a drive . '' hayley questioned . `` yes , it 's a nice evening for a drive . i have a pickup if that would suit you . '' `` a little cramped do n't you think , perhaps a stroll . '' `` a stroll it is then . '' tink offered her his arm again and they waltzed across the room and then out the back door . melanie ran her hand up nathan 's back . `` it is a nice evening , a stroll sounds nice . '' nathan turned toward benjaim and elizabeth . `` sir , ma'am . '' he nodded to jason and i as he and melanie walked out onto the front porch and down the steps , arm in arm . when i looked back , elizabeth was looking up into benjamin 's eyes . i 'd never seen her display such longing . `` a stroll does sound nice . '' she gave me a 'do n't even think about it ' glare as benjamin walked her past us and then down the front steps and off into the woods . `` sorry , '' jason said . `` i did n't mean to breakup the party . `` you did n't breakup the party . '' `` couples ? '' `` ohoh ! '' i pulled his lips down to mine and kissed him . `` i kind of figured out who you were talking about and well , hayley sounded pretty cool when you described her . '' `` did you forget the part about her not exactly observing our feeding habits ? '' `` well , lucky for you she seems to have been favoring our way for some time . '' `` nah , she 'd never have gotten past you . '' he kissed me , a hot searing kiss . `` i 'd forgotten just how sexy you can be . '' i swept him up into my arms and carried him into the parlor and then tossed him onto the sofa . i was on top of him before he bounced , hovering over him on all fours , my breath washing down over his throat . he reached his head upward and kissed me . | [["tink", 4], ["tinks", 4], ["offer", 12], ["offered", 12], ["hayley", 19], ["arm", 27], ["wove", 40], ["around", 55], ["escort", 80], ["escorted", 80], ["parlor", 100], ["clean", 115], ["cleans", 115], ["nice", 123], ["say", 135], ["sayest", 135], ["said", 135], ["bet", 146], ["alexander", 156], ["recognize", 176], ["okay", 199], ["wink", 228], ["winks", 228], ["winkest", 228], ["mutual", 242], ["acquaintance", 255], ["tell", 268], ["travel", 295], ["travels", 295], ["suggest", 315], ["suggested", 315], ["hear", 328], ["hears", 328], ["heard", 328], ["story", 352], ["notice", 371], ["noticed", 371], ["left", 380], ["leave", 380], ["part", 393], ["parting", 393], ["also", 422], ["remember", 433], ["rememberest", 433], ["remembered", 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just get it all out so we can deal . '' their faces were grim , but they had n't walked out on him . they 'd shown solidarity , offered support . his brothers had told him that they loved him . dex sent him a solemn stare . `` i take it nikki was pregnant when she decided to down a bunch of pills . how is that your fault , gavin ? '' `` let me enlighten you . '' he hated the nasty edge to his words . gavin had known this would be hard , but their seeming acceptance made it harder . what if they heard the details and decided that he was a murdering prick after all ? he scrubbed his raw eyes with the heels of his hands . then they would finally understand . none of that changed the fact he owed them the truth before the press splashed it all over the front page . `` nikki and i had a volatile relationship , as you know . it was interesting at first . a nice diversion from all the other shit in my life . we had some hot sex . she loved to fuck , and i enjoyed obliging her . for a while , it was worth all the drama . then she got demanding . i found myself in this constant state of making up and breaking up with her . i have to admit , the more we fought , the hotter the sex became . it was damn good . and when the former black oak board was trying to eat me alive , i needed the release . '' `` i got addicted to the sex and the anger . they made me forget work for a while . our parents were dead . we did n't have a lot of other family . you two were in college , far away ... so nikki became a fixture in my life . i never planned to marry her . i knew she was bad for me . '' `` but she was there and we were n't . '' guilt ravaged slade 's face . he shook his head , his shoulders slumped . `` hey , you two had to go to school , '' gavin rebuked . the last thing he needed was slade or dex feeling responsible . `` this fiasco was all my doing . i was an adult . '' `` you were twenty-two , gavin , '' dex growled . `` most twenty-two-year-olds are drinking beer and trying to figure out where to get a job . they are n't dealing with multi-billion-dollar companies and hostile takeovers . they are n't trying to keep everything together . '' `` stop trying to justify this , dex . being young does n't absolve me of anything . '' the liquor was wearing off . he needed more to get through this , but he felt sure his brothers would object at the moment . after he told them the rest , though , they might decide they did n't give a damn after all and let him drink himself to death . `` you 're not f**king perfect . do n't expect yourself to be , '' slade insisted . gavin scoffed even as his stomach threatened to revolt . this was the part he 'd dreaded . `` hell , i was n't even close . when i decided to break this perverse cycle nikki and i were in , i told her we were done for good . i made the break clean . i told the security at the office and the condo to keep her out . she still managed to get my number . and she 'd call , leave these long messages begging me to come back because she needed me . then she told me she was pregnant . '' `` had she ever told you that before ? '' `` she 'd had a couple of scares , even though she claimed she was on the pill . and i always used condoms with her . '' but with hannah he had n't . he had n't even thought of protecting her . he 'd just lost himself and flooded her with every ounce of his seed . god , his brothers were going to hate him-and they had every right to . `` nikki had tried to get me to marry her twice before by claiming that she was pregnant . '' `` so when she announced it this time , you did n't believe her for good reason . '' slade sat back in his chair . `` i also did n't believe her when she said she was going to kill herself because i 'd heard that before , too . '' gavin 's stomach turned again . i did n't even bother to step outside to talk to her . she asked if i even cared about our baby . i told her there was n't a baby . she said she 'd taken some pills . she 'd threatened suicide before and had n't followed through , so i did n't alert anyone . i did n't lift a damn finger . '' dex 's face softened . you could n't have known she was serious . '' `` i should have guessed or done something , just in case . instead , i told nikki to do what she had to do . then i hung up on her . | [["get", 8], ["deal", 34], ["face", 51], ["faces", 51], ["grim", 61], ["grims", 61], ["walk", 87], ["walked", 87], ["show", 114], ["shown", 114], ["solidarity", 125], ["offer", 135], ["offered", 135], ["support", 143], ["brother", 158], ["brethren", 158], ["brothers", 158], ["tell", 167], ["told", 167], ["love", 187], ["loved", 187], ["dex", 197], ["send", 202], ["sent", 202], ["solemn", 215], ["stare", 221], ["stared", 221], ["take", 233], ["nikki", 242], ["pregnant", 255], ["decide", 272], ["decided", 272], ["bunch", 288], ["bunchest", 288], ["pill", 297], ["pills", 297], ["fault", 322], ["faulting", 322], ["gavin", 330], ["let", 342], ["lets", 342], ["enlighten", 355], ["hate", 373], ["hateed", 373], ["hated", 373], ["nasty", 383], ["edge", 388], ["edges", 388], ["word", 401], ["words", 401], ["know", 419], ["knowest", 419], ["known", 419], ["hard", 438], ["seeming", 458], ["acceptance", 469], ["hard", 484], ["hear", 505], ["hears", 505], ["heard", 505], ["detail", 517], ["details", 517], ["murder", 553], ["murderest", 553], ["murdering", 553], ["prick", 559], ["scrub", 583], ["scrubbed", 583], ["raw", 591], ["eye", 596], ["eyed", 596], ["eyes", 596], ["heel", 611], ["heeled", 611], ["heels", 611], ["hand", 624], ["hands", 624], ["finally", 650], ["understand", 661], ["understanded", 661], ["none", 668], ["change", 684], ["changed", 684], ["fact", 693], ["owe", 701], ["owes", 701], ["owing", 701], ["owed", 701], ["truth", 716], ["press", 733], ["splash", 742], ["splashed", 742], ["front", 764], ["page", 769], ["volatile", 801], ["relationship", 814], ["know", 828], ["knowest", 828], ["interesting", 849], ["first", 858], ["firstest", 858], ["nice", 867], ["diversion", 877], ["shit", 901], ["life", 912], ["lifes", 912], ["hot", 930], ["sex", 934], ["fuck", 954], ["enjoy", 970], ["enjoyed", 970], ["oblige", 979], ["obliging", 979], ["worth", 1012], ["drama", 1026], ["dramas", 1026], ["get", 1041], ["got", 1041], ["demand", 1051], ["demandest", 1051], ["demanding", 1051], ["find", 1061], ["found", 1061], ["constant", 1085], ["state", 1091], ["break", 1117], ["broke", 1117], ["breaking", 1117], ["admit", 1147], ["fight", 1168], ["fightest", 1168], ["fought", 1168], ["hot", 1181], ["become", 1196], ["became", 1196], ["damn", 1210], ["damned", 1210], ["good", 1215], ["former", 1237], ["black", 1243], ["oak", 1247], ["board", 1253], ["boarding", 1253], ["try", 1264], ["tryed", 1264], ["trying", 1264], ["eat", 1271], ["alive", 1280], ["need", 1291], ["needest", 1291], ["needed", 1291], ["release", 1303], ["addict", 1326], ["addicted", 1326], ["anger", 1351], ["forget", 1373], ["forgot", 1373], ["work", 1378], ["wrought", 1378], ["parent", 1404], ["parents", 1404], ["dead", 1414], ["lot", 1438], ["family", 1454], ["two", 1464], ["twos", 1464], ["college", 1480], ["far", 1486], ["away", 1491], 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2071], ["dollar", 2078], ["company", 2088], ["companys", 2088], ["companying", 2088], ["companies", 2088], ["hostile", 2100], ["hostiles", 2100], ["takeover", 2110], ["takeovers", 2110], ["keep", 2140], ["keepest", 2140], ["everything", 2151], ["together", 2160], ["stop", 2173], ["justify", 2191], ["justified", 2191], ["young", 2216], ["youngest", 2216], ["absolve", 2233], ["anything", 2248], ["liquor", 2264], ["wear", 2276], ["wearing", 2276], ["feel", 2331], ["felt", 2331], ["sure", 2336], ["object", 2362], ["objected", 2362], ["objecting", 2362], ["objectest", 2362], ["moment", 2376], ["rest", 2406], ["though", 2415], ["may", 2428], ["mays", 2428], ["mayest", 2428], ["might", 2428], ["decide", 2435], ["give", 2453], ["drank", 2488], ["drink", 2488], ["drinking", 2488], ["death", 2505], ["perfect", 2538], ["perfectest", 2538], ["expect", 2554], ["insist", 2589], ["insistest", 2589], ["insisted", 2589], ["scoff", 2605], ["scoffs", 2605], ["scoffed", 2605], ["even", 2610], ["evens", 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3965], ["suicide", 4004], ["follow", 4032], ["followed", 4032], ["alert", 4061], ["alerted", 4061], ["anyone", 4068], ["lift", 4085], ["finger", 4099], ["soften", 4125], ["softens", 4125], ["softened", 4125], ["serious", 4168], ["guess", 4198], ["guessed", 4198], ["case", 4231], ["instead", 4241], ["hung", 4295], ["hang", 4295], ["hangs", 4295]] |
the breeze ruffled the short length of my hair and i paused , lifted my face to the night , then cursed . i was upwind . if the wolf was n't dead , he knew i was coming . a howl split the night , rising on the breeze , sifting through the darkness , and fleeing toward the moon . not the soulful sound of a lonely animal searching for a mate , but the furious , aggressive wail of a dominant male , which caused the back of my neck to tingle . he knew i was coming , and he was ready . i wanted to move faster . fight , not flee . but i had to follow the blood , and that had n't gotten any easier . then , suddenly , the trail was gone . located the blood again . moved forward , found nothing . my wolf seemed to have disappeared into thin air . uneasy , i glanced up at the swaying silhouettes of the trees . a laugh escaped , the sound more nervous than amused . what kind of wolf could climb a tree ? not one that i wanted to meet . a movement ahead had me scurrying forward , damn the blood trail . i burst through the brash and into a clearing , nearly stumbled , and fell at the sight of a shiny log cabin that had n't been there a few weeks ago . had it sprouted from the dirt ? my curiosity about the new house vanished when my gaze lit on a swaying , shivering bush at the far side of the clearing . the windows of the cabin were dark . if i was lucky , the occupants were asleep or , even better , not in residence . i did n't want to scare anyone with gunshots outside their new home at 4:00 a.m. , but i was n't going to let my quarry get away , either . gun drawn , i advanced . a single , glistening drop of blood on a leaf made me cock my pistol . the bush stilled . i was so tense my body ached with it . i could n't just shoot without knowing what was there . but what if the wolf leaped out , jaws slashing before i could fire ? give me a nice , sure , clean shot any day . i shouted , hoping the wolf would run the other way and i could blast him . the bush began to shake again , and a shadow lifted , lengthened , grew broader , and took the shape of a man . a very handsome , well-proportioned , naked man . from far to the north came the cry of a wolf , silencing my question , reminding me i needed to move on . ignoring the naked man - which was n't easy , he was quite spectacular and i had n't seen one in a long , long time - i searched the ground and the trees for the blood trail . however , it was well and truly gone this time . i holstered my weapon . his voice was deep , almost soothing , flowing like water over smooth stones . he was taller than me by a good five inches , which made him six-three in bare feet . the moon shone silver across his golden skin , which appeared to be the same hue all over . he obviously had no qualms about going bare-assed beneath the sun as well as the moon . he stared at me calmly , as if he did n't know , or maybe just did n't care , that he 'd forgotten his clothes when he 'd stepped outside . well , if he could be nonchalant , so could i . `` did a wolf run through here ? '' his biceps flexed ; so did the muscles in his stomach . ridges and dips in all the right places . he 'd been working out . with no small amount of difficulty , i raised my gaze to his face . i refused to be embarrassed . he was the one standing naked in the night . his teeth flashed against the darker shade of his face . his eyes were black , his hair , too , and nearly as short as my own . a golden feather swung from one ear . most native american jewelry was silver . if he were white , he 'd take a lot of heat for that earring in a place like miniwa . this might be a new millennium , but in small midwestern towns earrings were for faggots , just as tattoos were for motorcycle gangs . unless you were an indian ; then folks just ignored you . however , i doubted a man who looked like he did was ignored by the entire population . `` you 're after a wolf ? '' he stepped from behind the bush , giving me a much clearer view of a whole lot more . for all my bravado and smart-mouthed comments , i 'd never had much use for men beyond friendship . probably because they 'd never had much use for me . still , a girl has needs , or so i discovered beneath the shiny , silver moon . `` you wan na put on some clothes before we chat ? '' i aimed for a bored , woman-of-the-world tone . i got a breathless , sexy rasp . | [["breeze", 10], ["breezing", 10], ["ruffle", 18], ["ruffles", 18], ["ruffled", 18], ["short", 28], ["length", 35], ["hair", 46], ["pause", 59], ["paused", 59], ["lift", 68], ["lifted", 68], ["face", 76], ["night", 89], ["curse", 103], ["cursed", 103], ["upwind", 118], ["wolf", 132], ["dead", 145], ["know", 155], ["knowest", 155], ["knew", 155], ["come", 168], ["coming", 168], ["howl", 177], ["howls", 177], ["howlest", 177], ["split", 183], ["rise", 202], ["risen", 202], ["rising", 202], ["sift", 226], ["sifting", 226], ["darkness", 247], ["flee", 261], ["flees", 261], ["fleeing", 261], ["toward", 268], ["moon", 277], ["moons", 277], ["soulful", 295], ["sound", 301], ["lonely", 313], ["animal", 320], ["search", 330], ["searching", 330], ["mate", 341], ["mated", 341], ["furious", 359], ["aggressive", 372], ["wail", 377], ["dominant", 391], ["male", 396], ["males", 396], ["cause", 411], ["caused", 411], ["back", 420], ["neck", 431], ["necked", 431], ["tingle", 441], ["tingles", 441], ["ready", 483], ["move", 502], ["fast", 509], ["fight", 517], ["fightest", 517], ["flee", 528], ["flees", 528], ["follow", 550], ["blood", 560], ["bloods", 560], ["blooded", 560], ["get", 586], ["gotten", 586], ["easy", 597], ["easier", 597], ["suddenly", 615], ["trail", 627], ["go", 636], ["goest", 636], ["gone", 636], ["locate", 646], ["located", 646], ["move", 670], ["moved", 670], ["forward", 678], ["forwardest", 678], ["forwarding", 678], ["find", 686], ["found", 686], ["nothing", 694], ["seem", 711], ["seeming", 711], ["seemed", 711], ["disappear", 731], ["disappeared", 731], ["thin", 741], ["thins", 741], ["air", 745], ["airs", 745], ["airing", 745], ["uneasy", 754], ["glance", 766], ["glanced", 766], ["sway", 784], ["swayed", 784], ["swaying", 784], ["silhouette", 796], ["silhouetted", 796], ["silhouetting", 796], ["silhouettes", 796], ["tree", 809], ["treed", 809], ["treeing", 809], ["trees", 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["unlesss", 3757], ["indian", 3776], ["indians", 3776], ["folk", 3789], ["folks", 3789], ["ignore", 3802], ["ignored", 3802], ["doubt", 3828], ["doubted", 3828], ["look", 3845], ["looked", 3845], ["entire", 3883], ["population", 3894], ["behind", 3948], ["give", 3966], ["giving", 3966], ["much", 3976], ["clear", 3984], ["clearest", 3984], ["view", 3989], ["viewest", 3989], ["whole", 4000], ["wholes", 4000], ["bravado", 4030], ["smart", 4040], ["comment", 4057], ["comments", 4057], ["never", 4070], ["use", 4083], ["man", 4091], ["mans", 4091], ["manned", 4091], ["men", 4091], ["beyond", 4098], ["friendship", 4109], ["probably", 4120], ["still", 4170], ["girl", 4179], ["need", 4189], ["needest", 4189], ["needs", 4189], ["discover", 4210], ["discovered", 4210], ["wan", 4255], ["wans", 4255], ["wanest", 4255], ["na", 4258], ["nas", 4258], ["put", 4262], ["chat", 4293], ["chating", 4293], ["aim", 4306], ["aimest", 4306], ["aimed", 4306], ["woman", 4326], ["womans", 4326], ["world", 4339], ["tone", 4344], ["toned", 4344], ["toning", 4344], ["get", 4352], ["got", 4352], ["breathless", 4365], ["sexy", 4372], ["rasp", 4377], ["rasped", 4377], ["rasping", 4377]] |
you said i could keep my job , and i 've told you , i do n't need an assistant . '' `` i 'll allow you to continue working , but only part-time . if we 're inseparable newlyweds you 'll be expected to make regular appearances by my side at the club . that means late nights . your assistant will cover mornings . '' she reluctantly conceded by inclining her head . `` a certain amount of pdas will be required to make this marriage look real . '' he stood almost a yard away , but the distance and her apartment suddenly seemed to shrink . `` pdas ? '' `` public displays of affection . we 'll need to touch . like we did tonight . '' `` i do n't think- '' `` newlyweds kiss and touch . making people believe we ca n't keep our hands off each other is part of the performance . '' her lips seemed to throb beneath his gaze . would he kiss her tonight ? to seal the deal ? to test her acting ability ? her heart pounded so hard she felt light-headed . `` i ... um ... yes . i can handle kissing you . '' adam turned abruptly and strolled deeper into the living room . her lungs emptied in a rush . `` you need different clothes , makeup , hair , a manicure- '' `` you want me to get a makeover ? '' she did n't know whether to be insulted or pleased . she 'd been downplaying her looks for so long it had become second nature . apparently , she 'd become good at looking drab . he hitched his pants and sat on her sofa . such a masculine man on flowered chintz just looked ... wrong somehow . `` to be believable as my wife you 're going to need a little flash and a lot of style . '' `` to compete with your usual bimbos , you mean ? '' `` there will be no competition . i told you , lauryn , i wo n't be unfaithful despite your ridiculous insistence on celibacy . '' she marched across the room and stopped in front of him . he stretched his arms along the back of the sofa and let his gaze coast from her face to her br**sts , waist , legs and then back up again . goose bumps sprouted in the wake of his examination . `` we 'll see who can hold out the longest . and when you break , you come to me . she wanted to smack that smug smile off his face . i 'll hire a personal shopper to help you choose appropriate clothing and make the beauty appointments . '' `` i 'll choose my own clothes and make my own appointments . '' `` lauryn- '' `` and i wo n't dress like a tramp . '' `` i do n't date tramps . '' `` did n't your last girlfriend recently make the news for flashing a pantiless crotch shot at the paparazzi ? '' `` she was n't my girlfriend . '' `` the media says differently . '' she futilely tried to massage the headache squeezing the back of her skull beneath her knot of hair . `` i can dress myself and do all the rest . '' he sat forward , forearms braced on his knees . `` not from what i 've seen . keep your wardrobe conservative , but try to dress your age instead of matronly . remember , people are supposed to believe i 'm attracted to you . '' `` we ca n't afford mistakes . we have to get it right the first time . '' `` i 'll get it right . '' tense , silent seconds ticked past . but it 's nothing a good night 's sleep wo n't cure . please , adam , go home . i 'll read the documents and discuss them with you tomorrow . '' he stared at her as if considering refusing , but then rose . `` i 'll pick you up at estate at five tomorrow evening . we 'll stop by brandon 's office for the notary to witness our signatures before going to dinner . '' and then she 'd be tied to adam garrison in a sham of a marriage for two years . but what was two years when her entire life had been a lie ? four `` ready to roll ? '' lauryn nearly jumped out of her chair at the sound of adam 's voice behind her late tuesday afternoon . she swiveled around and found him standing just inside her office . black suit , white shirt , conservative black-and-silver-patterned tie . he 'd always been a sharp dresser , but she rarely saw him so formally attired . let me print this last page . '' she caught the sheet before it could hit the tray . `` i typed up an addendum . '' `` addendum to what ? '' he crossed to her desk and took the papers she offered . `` our agreement . these are the items we covered last night . '' his gaze ricocheted from the pages to her face . he backtracked and closed her office door . `` our sex life is not going into a legal document . '' | [["say", 8], ["sayest", 8], ["said", 8], ["keep", 21], ["keepest", 21], ["job", 28], ["jobbing", 28], ["tell", 45], ["told", 45], ["need", 65], ["needest", 65], ["assistant", 78], ["allow", 98], ["continue", 114], ["work", 122], ["wrought", 122], ["working", 122], ["part", 138], ["parting", 138], ["time", 143], ["inseparable", 167], ["newlywed", 177], ["newlyweds", 177], ["expect", 197], ["expected", 197], ["regular", 213], ["regulars", 213], ["appearance", 225], ["appearances", 225], ["side", 236], ["sidest", 236], ["club", 248], ["clubbed", 248], ["clubbing", 248], ["mean", 261], ["meanest", 261], ["means", 261], ["late", 266], ["lates", 266], ["night", 273], ["nights", 273], ["cover", 301], ["morning", 310], ["mornings", 310], ["reluctantly", 331], ["concede", 340], ["conceded", 340], ["incline", 353], ["inclines", 353], ["head", 362], ["certain", 377], ["amount", 384], ["pda", 392], ["pdas", 392], ["require", 409], ["required", 409], ["marriage", 431], ["look", 436], ["reis", 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she kept telling me i did n't need to be ashamed of my 'mental condition , ' and i kept telling her i was n't ashamed - i just did n't want to talk about it with her . she could n't understand the difference . so now we 're back in another corner , and this time it 's the g*y thing . me : whoa , wait a second . even if i was gay , would n't that be my decision ? to tell you ? maura : who 's isaac ? maura : you think i ca n't see what you draw in your notebook ? me : you 're kidding me . this is about isaac ? maura : just tell me who he is . i fundamentally do n't want to tell her . he 's mine , not hers . if i give her just a piece of the story , she 'll want the whole thing . i know in some twisted way she 's doing this because she thinks it 's what i want - to talk about everything , to have her know everything about me . that 's not what she can have . me : maura maura maura ... isaac 's a character . he does n't actually exist . it 's just this thing i 'm working on . this - i do n't know - idea . i have all these stories in my head . starring this character , isaac . i do n't know where this shit comes from . it 's like it 's just being given to me by some divine force of fabrication . maura looks like she wants to believe it , but does n't really . me : like pogo dog . only he 's not a dog , and he 's not on a pogo stick . maura : god , i forgot all about pogo dog . me : are you kidding ? he was going to make us rich ! and she 's buying it . she 's leaning against me and , i swear to god , if she was a guy i 'd be able to see the boner in her pants . maura : i know it 's awful , but i 'm kind of relieved that you 're not hiding something that big from me . i figure this would be a bad time to point out that i 've never actually said i was n't gay . i just told her to f**k off . i do n't know if there 's anything more horrifying than a goth girl getting all cuddly . maura 's not only leaning , but now she 's examining my hand like somebody stamped it with the meaning of life . in braille . me : i should probably get back to my mom . maura : tell her we 're hanging out . me : i promised her i would watch this thing with her . the key here is to blow off maura without her realizing i 'm blowing her off . because i really do n't want to hurt her , not when i just managed to bring her back from the brink of the last hurt i allegedly inflicted . i know as soon as maura gets home , she 's going to dive right into her notebook of skull-blood poetry , and i 'm doing my best not to get a bad review . maura once showed me one of her poems . hang me like a dead rose preserve me and my petals wo n't fall until you touch them and i dissolve and i wrote her a poem back i am like a dead begonia hanging upside down because like a dead begonia i do n't give a fuck to which she replied not all flowers depend on light to grow so now maybe tonight i 'll inspire i thought his soil was gay but maybe there 's a chance i can get myself some play and get into his pants hopefully i 'll never have to read it or know about it or even think about it ever again . i stand up and open the garage door so maura can leave that way . i tell her i 'll see her monday in school and she says 'not if i see you first ' and i go har har har until she 's a safe distance away and i can shut the garage door again . the sick thing is , i 'm sure that someday this is going to come back to haunt me . that someday she 's going to say i led her on , when the truth is i was only holding her off . i have to set her up with somebody else . it 's not me she wants - she just wants anybody who will make it all about her . and i ca n't be that guy . when i get back to the living room , pride and prejudice is almost over , which means that everyone knows pretty much where they stand with everyone else . usually my mom is a crumpled-tissue mess at this point , but this time there 's not a wet eye in the house . she pretty much confirms it when she turns the dvd off . mom : i really have to stop doing this . i think she 's directing this at herself , or the universe , not really at me . | [["keep", 8], ["keepest", 8], ["kept", 8], ["tell", 16], ["telling", 16], ["need", 34], ["needest", 34], ["ashamed", 48], ["mental", 62], ["condition", 72], ["talk", 147], ["understand", 192], ["understanded", 192], ["difference", 207], ["back", 228], ["another", 239], ["corner", 246], ["time", 262], ["thing", 282], ["whoa", 294], ["wait", 301], ["waitest", 301], ["second", 310], ["seconded", 310], ["even", 317], ["evens", 317], ["gay", 330], ["decision", 362], ["tell", 372], ["maura", 384], ["isaac", 399], ["think", 419], ["thinkest", 419], ["ca", 424], ["cas", 424], ["see", 432], ["draw", 446], ["draws", 446], ["drawn", 446], ["notebook", 463], ["kid", 486], ["kidding", 486], ["fundamentally", 562], ["give", 622], ["piece", 639], ["pieced", 639], ["story", 652], ["whole", 677], ["wholes", 677], ["know", 692], ["knowest", 692], ["way", 712], ["ways", 712], ["think", 749], 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`` now , what can i help you with , mr. marsh ? i suppose you 're looking for information on the cemetery ? '' `` my reputation precedes me . '' `` doris called to tell me you were on the way . '' she 's an interesting woman . '' `` she 's my grandmother . '' l-i-b , he thought , keeping it to himself this time . but was n't that interesting ? `` did she tell you about our delightful lunch ? '' `` i really did n't ask . '' she tucked her hair behind her ear , noting that his dimple was the kind that made little kids want to poke their finger in it . not that she cared one way or the other , of course . she finished with the books and faced him , keeping her tone steady . `` believe it or not , i 'm fairly busy at the moment , '' she asserted . `` i 've got a load of paperwork that i need to finish today . what type of information were you looking for ? '' `` anything that might help me with the history of the cemetery and the town . when the lights started . any studies that have been done in the past . any stories that mention the legends . old maps . information on riker 's hill and the topography . historical records . he paused , studying those violet eyes again . they were really quite exotic . and here she was right next to him , instead of walking away . he found that interesting , too . `` i have to say , it 's kind of amazing , is n't it ? '' he asked , leaning against the shelf beside her . `` seeing you at the cemetery and now here . your grandmother 's letter , which brought me down here . it 's quite a coincidence , do n't you think ? '' `` i ca n't say i 've given it much thought . '' jeremy was not to be deterred . he was seldom deterred , especially when things were interesting . `` well , since i 'm not from around here , maybe you could tell me what people do for relaxation in these parts . i mean , is there a place to get some coffee ? or a bite to eat ? '' `` like maybe a little later , after you 're off ? '' wondering if she 'd heard him right , she blinked . `` only if you 're available . '' `` i think , '' she said , regaining her composure , `` i 'll have to pass . she held his gaze steady until he finally raised his hands . `` okay , fair enough , '' he said , his tone easy . `` but you ca n't blame a guy for trying . '' he smiled , the dimple flashing again . `` now , would it be possible to get started with the research ? if you 're not too busy with the paperwork , i mean . i can always come back tomorrow if it 's more convenient . '' `` is there anything you 'd like to start with in particular ? '' `` i was hoping i might read the article that appeared in the local paper . i have n't had a chance yet . you would n't happen to have it around here , would you ? '' `` it 'll probably be on the microfiche . we 've been working with the paper for the last couple of years , so i should n't have any trouble digging it up . '' `` and information about the town in general ? '' `` it 's in the same place . '' he glanced around for a moment , wondering where to go . she started toward the foyer . `` this way , mr. marsh . you 'll find what you need is upstairs . '' `` there 's an upstairs ? '' she turned , speaking over her shoulder . `` if you follow me , i promise to show you . '' jeremy had to step quickly to catch up with her . she opened the main door and hesitated . `` not at all , '' she said , her expression unchanged . `` why were you in the cemetery today ? '' instead of answering , she simply stared at him , her expression the same . `` i mean , i was just wondering , '' jeremy continued . `` i got the impression that few people head out there these days . '' still she said nothing , and in the silence , jeremy grew curious , then finally uncomfortable . she smiled and , surprising him , winked before moving through the open doorway . `` i said you could ask , mr. marsh . i did n't say that i would answer . as she strode ahead of him , all jeremy could do was stare . oh , she was something , was n't she ? confident and beautiful and charming all at once , and that was after she 'd shot down the idea of going on a date . maybe alvin had been right , he thought . maybe there was something about southern belles that could drive a guy crazy . they made their way through the foyer , past the children 's reading room , and lexie led him up the stairs . | [["help", 24], ["helpest", 24], ["mr", 38], ["marsh", 45], ["marshes", 45], ["suppose", 57], ["look", 73], ["looking", 73], ["information", 89], ["cemetery", 105], ["reputation", 127], ["precede", 136], ["precedes", 136], ["doris", 153], ["call", 160], ["called", 160], ["tell", 168], ["way", 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it was with a sense of profound relief that i saw at last the irregularities of a human face . and an irregular face it was , to be sure , screwed up as it was in a ferocious frown , lips pursed in adjuration . it was only as i felt the pressure of the hand over my mouth that i realized i was no longer asleep . the long , lipless mouth of the gargoyle hovered next to my ear . `` be still , ma chere ! if they find me here again , i 'm done for ! '' the large , dark eyes darted from side to side , keeping watch for any movement of the drapes . i nodded slowly , and he released my mouth , his fingers leaving a faint whiff of ammonium and sulfur behind . he had somewhere found-or stolen , i thought dimly-a ragged gray friar 's gown to cover the grimy velvet of his apothecary 's robe , and the depths of the hood concealed both the telltale silver hair and that monstrous forehead . the fevered delusions receded slightly , displaced by what remnants of curiosity remained to me . i was too weak to say more than `` what ... '' when he placed a finger once more across my lips , and threw back the sheet covering me . i watched in some bemusement as he rapidly unknotted the strings of my shift and opened the garment to the waist . his movements were swift and businesslike , completely lacking in lechery . not that i could imagine anyone capable of trying to ravish a fever-wracked carcass like mine , particularly not within hearing of mother hildegarde . i watched with remote fascination as he placed his cupped hands on my br**sts . they were broad and almost square , the fingers all of a length , with unusually long and supple thumbs that curved around my br**sts with amazing delicacy . watching them , i had an unusually vivid memory of marian jenkinson , a girl with whom i had trained at pembroke hospital , telling the rapt inmates of the nurses ' quarters that the size and shape of a man 's thumbs were a sure indication of the quality of his more intimate appendage . `` and it 's true , i swear it , '' marian would declare , shaking back her blond hair dramatically . but when pressed for examples , she would only giggle and dimple , rolling her eyes toward lieutenant hanley , who strongly resembled a gorilla , opposable-and sizable-thumbs notwithstanding . the large thumbs were pressing gently but firmly into my flesh , and i could feel my swollen n**ples rising against the hard palms , cold by comparison with my own heated skin . `` jamie , '' i said , and a shiver passed over me . `` hush , madonna , '' said raymond . his voice was low , kind but somehow abstracted , as though he were paying no attention to me , in spite of what he was doing . the shiver came back ; it was as though the heat passed from me to him , but his hands did not warm . his fingers stayed cool , and i chilled and shook as the fever ebbed and flowed , draining from my bones . the afternoon light was dim through the thick gauze of the drapes around my bed , and raymond 's hands were dark on the white flesh of my br**sts . the shadows between the thick , grimy fingers were not black , though . they were ... blue , i thought . i closed my eyes , looking at the particolored swirl of patterns that immediately appeared behind my lids . when i opened them again , it was as though something of the color remained behind , coating raymond 's hands . as the fever ebbed , leaving my mind clearer , i blinked , trying to raise my head for a better look . raymond pressed slightly harder , urging me to lie back , and i let my head fall on the pillow , peering slantwise over my chest . i was n't imagining it after all-or was i ? while raymond 's hands were n't moving themselves , a faint flicker of colored light seemed to move over them , shedding a glow of rose and a pallor of blue across my own white skin . my br**sts were warming now , but warming with the natural heat of health , not the gnawing burn of fever . the draft from the open archway outside found a way through the drapes and lifted the damp hair at my temples , but i was n't chilled now . raymond 's head was bent , face hidden by the cowl of his borrowed robe . after what seemed a long time , he moved his hands from my br**sts , very slowly over my arms , pausing and squeezing gently at the joints of shoulder and elbow , wrists and fingers . the soreness eased , and i thought i could see briefly a faint blue line within my upper arm , the glowing ghost of the bone . | [["sense", 19], ["profound", 31], ["profoundest", 31], ["relief", 38], ["reliefs", 38], ["see", 49], ["saw", 49], ["last", 57], ["irregularity", 76], ["irregularities", 76], ["human", 87], ["face", 92], ["irregular", 111], ["sure", 136], ["screw", 146], ["screwing", 146], ["screwed", 146], ["ferocious", 174], ["frown", 180], ["frowns", 180], ["lip", 187], ["lipped", 187], ["lips", 187], ["purse", 194], ["pursed", 194], ["adjuration", 208], ["feel", 232], ["felt", 232], ["pressure", 245], ["pressured", 245], ["hand", 257], ["mouth", 271], ["mouthed", 271], 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heath closed his eyes and let out a deep breathglad none of his business associates had been invited . he sure as hell didnt want them to see him like this . a few minutes later a beautiful black carriage rolled toward him , his son trey driving with cameron sitting alongside . he brought it to a perfect stop just feet away from where heath stood . jace opened the carriage door , helping brooke , cassie , and finally caroline , the matron of honor , descend . he motioned for heath . he took one hesitant step , glanced at trey who nodded to him to get moving , then closed the distance to the carriage and looked inside . a beautiful sight , a vision really , smiled back at him . when she accepted it a wave of feelings passed through him like nothing hed ever felt . he saw his future in that brief moment and an understanding that everything hed ever dreamed of was now his . annie stepped down , holding tight to heaths hand . music began to play and the couple turned toward their guests . blake turned to his younger brother , brett . the music continued as jace and caroline walked , arm and arm , to where the minister stood , his back to a majestic combination of meadows , water , and mountains . they stopped and turned toward the bride and groom . heath smiled at annie as he led her forward , trying to concentrate and not be distracted by the beautiful woman on his arm . the minister watched them walk forward . hed seen many brides yet annie stood out in a class by herself . she wore a beautiful cream colored lace and silk gown that fell off her shoulders . lace sleeves continued down her arms , ending in a vee at her wrist . the skirt fell in soft vees to just below the tops of the victorian western lace-up boots she wore . her ivory colored silk western hat was adorned with lace and pearls , with a veil that fell to her mid-back . annie and heath dropped their hands to take a small step apart , each smiled , then looked up at the minister . dearly beloved ~~~~~ epilogue im so glad you were able to make it out , trey . i know heath hoped you could get the time even if he never said it . annie followed her new stepson outside . he was flying back to nas lemoore . there wasnt a problem getting away . he leaned down to give annie a kiss on the cheek before sliding in next to heath for the drive to the small air field near fire mountain . robert would fly him to california . hed be back on base in a couple of hours . see you in a bit , heath said to annie as he pulled away . annie watched them leave then turned to walk into the big ranch house that had become her home . she made tea and settled in a large , leather chair that had been in the family for two generations and reflected on the last few weeks . she was now the mother of three and step-mother of two . she loved them all which meant now there were two more to worry about . annie laughed at her train of thought . there were also two more shed be allowed to watch build their lives as well as their own families . she set the cup down , wrapped her arms around a pillow , and nodded off . heath stood by the plane , giving the final instructions to robert while trey threw in his one bag . he was proud of his son , of what hed achieved , yet each goodbye seemed more difficult . something was weighing on trey . hed refused to confide in either his sister , jace , or him . knowing trey carried a burden he was unable or unwilling to share . thanks , dad , trey wrapped his arms around his father and pulled tight . none of this attaboy type stuff for them . you be safe and let me know how things are going , heath replied and stepped back . annie and i will look forward to all the calls and letters . both grinned , knowing that trey was bad at both . text all right ? sure , well accept texts . trey started up the steps then turned back . annie is a great woman . youre lucky to have her . heath stepped back as the door closed , locking trey inside . it would be months before they saw each other again . he walked to his car and stood until the plane taxied out then took off , waving , knowing trey was waving back . heath bent down to get into the car , put the key in the ignition , and smiled . time to grab his bride and start getting ready for their two-week honeymoon in paris . trey watched as the plane lifted off , leaving his father waving from the ground . he loved his dad , wished he couldve told him what was happening , knowing it wasnt an option since he wasnt certain himself . bottom line , it appeared hed messed up and had just found out about it . not in his career , he was secure in his position with the navy . no , this was personal . | [["heath", 5], ["close", 12], ["closed", 12], ["eye", 21], ["eyed", 21], ["eyes", 21], ["let", 29], ["lets", 29], ["deep", 40], ["deeply", 40], ["none", 56], ["business", 72], ["associate", 83], ["associated", 83], ["associates", 83], ["invite", 100], ["invites", 100], ["invited", 100], ["sure", 110], ["hell", 118], 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he rubbed his chest , wondering at the ache there . he 'd never been in love before . never really thought about it . there 'd been a few women in his life , but most were just diversions instead of people . elise , though ... elise was everything to him . he picked through the cabin , looking for any personal items he might have missed . he was lingering , he knew it . hell , he did n't want to go . he wanted to turn around and call elise and tell her to come back over . that he 'd changed his mind . he picked up the small plastic plate she 'd brought over when she 'd showed up with the cookies and hit on him . he 'd eaten the cookies , but he 'd kept the plate . stupid , really , but seeing it reminded him of her , and he packed it away carefully in his backpack , sandwiched between a few shirts . and suddenly , he wished that he had mementos from all of their get-togethers . that he 'd stolen a candle from their sultry photo shoot , or taken a book of matches from their hotel this weekend . that he 'd pulled out his cell phone and snapped pictures of her gorgeous face and that shy smile so he could always carry them with him . he put on his leather jacket , picked up his small box , and headed out of his cabin for the last time . he 'd miss this place ... but he 'd miss one person in particular the most . rome texted her brother to let him know he was packing up and heading out , strapped the box on the back of his bike , and pulled out of the parking lot , heading onto the highway . heading for f**k knew where . elise rolled over in bed , feeling delicious and well-rested . it was nice to get a full night 's rest after a weekend of too little sleep , she supposed , but it also felt weird to wake up in bed alone . she smiled into her pillows and reached for the nightstand to pick up her phone , hoping for a text from rome . the only texts on her phone were from family , though . having a good time in bluebonnet , sweetie ? xoxo from her mother . your mother misses you . expect her to start asking you to come home , but if you 're not ready , stay a bit longer . love you , bunny , from her father . and from grant , hey , bit of a snag today . can we put off the engagement photos for a week or two ? kinda have my head down with work . even as she was checking messages , one came in from brenna . your brother 's being a dick and is all stressypants . if you come by , can you bring lunch or something ? i 'll take some cash out of his wallet and pay you back . we are totally slammed . : ) i like my burger with no onions ! ! it sounded like a crazy day over at the ranch . she immediately texted rome . hope you 're hanging in there today . want me to bring you lunch ? : ) she hoped it was n't too forward , but heck , they 'd had sex all weekend and he 'd dragged her into his arms in the car because he did n't want to leave her . she figured she could be a little needy in her texting . but when there was no immediate response , she figured he was busy . disappointed , she sat up in bed and started sending texts back . hi mom , i am having a good time . going to stay a bit longer . her mom immediately sent back how much longer ? not for the first time , elise felt a little smothered by her mother 's attention . farmers driving tractors two miles above the speed limit ? armadillos crossing the road ? she was a grown woman , graduated from college and in her twenties . she could take care of herself , especially in a sleepy little town like bluebonnet . she knew her mother meant well , but still . so she thought for a moment and sent back , thinking about opening up a photography studio here . gon na wait until beth ann gets back from her honeymoon and discuss a joint business venture . : ) oh , sweetie , that 's great ! her mother sent back . let me know if you need anything from your daddy and me . as she sent back the message , she realized it was n't a total lie . there was a place down on main street not too far from beth ann 's hair salon that had recently come up for lease . it was a cute little cubby of a storefront , but she would n't need much for a studio , just some clients . and if beth ann was interested in doing the retro shoots , that 'd be the perfect lead-in , along with weddings and parties . she began to get excited just thinking about it . | [["rub", 9], ["rubbed", 9], ["chest", 19], ["wonder", 31], ["wonderest", 31], ["wondering", 31], ["ache", 43], ["ached", 43], ["never", 63], ["love", 76], ["really", 98], ["think", 106], ["thinkest", 106], ["thought", 106], ["woman", 143], ["womans", 143], ["women", 143], ["life", 155], ["lifes", 155], ["diversion", 187], ["diversions", 187], ["instead", 195], ["people", 205], ["elise", 213], ["though", 222], ["everything", 247], ["pick", 266], ["picked", 266], ["cabin", 284], ["look", 294], ["looking", 294], ["personal", 311], ["item", 317], ["items", 317], ["may", 326], ["mays", 326], ["mayest", 326], ["might", 326], ["miss", 338], ["missed", 338], 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i smell it on her and it makes me even harder . while she takes a home pregnancy test , i 've run around a worn path on the hotel carpet , but the urge to f**k is still acute . now i 'm shadow boxing between the bed and the seating area , trying to get rid of all this extra energy and pull the blood out of my cock . pump , swing , pump . holy shit , she could be pregnant . my balls draw tight at the thought and my c*ck jerks again . god , i hope she 's pregnant . i f**king pray she 's pregnant . sensing her all of a sudden , i turn around , and she 's watching me with a lost , thoughtful look in her eyes . she jerks at my voice and looks at me , looking thoughtful and delectable . once again , my c*ck goes up . she gnaws on the inside of her cheek and frowns , her expression uncertain . she goes back into the bathroom and comes out with a white stick . she looks at it , and i 'm so restless , and so primed to mate , i continue pumping the air . i swear if she 's not pregnant , we 'll remedy that soon . i 'll keep f**king and taking and claiming her until she is . i want to be the father of her children . every breath , every sigh , every moan of hers , mine mine mine . her body mine , to have my children , to have me inside her . mine to protect , to pet , to kiss , every inch mine to run my tongue over . feeling hot and hungry for her , i watch as she studies the test result , and i want it so bad , i 'm running out of patience . `` it says ... '' she stares down at the stick , then she sets it aside , and starts walking over to me , and she looks f**king adorable , and womanly , and vulnerable . `` remington , do n't forget this , '' she whispers , framing my face in her hands and looking into my eyes . i frame back her face in mine , looking deeply into her eyes . if you are ... '' she runs over to get the test , then she returns and extends it out . my eyes remain on hers for a moment . does she want to be ? fuck , she better want to be . i stare at the screen at the end of the stick and immediately see the double lines . i frown because i need to be sure , but already , my insides are buzzing with pride . i still see two lines . more buzzing in my body , buzzing in my skin . i think i just grew ten sizes wide and high . i lift my gaze to her , and she looks uncertain , as if she does n't know whether to be worried or happy . unable to hold back my smile , i pick her up and lift her into the air , smacking a kiss on her abs , then i toss her down on the bed . she squeals and bursts out laughing as i fall on her . `` i 'm the only man , '' i correct her , `` as far as i know . `` all right , but do n't tell my dad i agreed so easily ... '' she whispers , rubbing my shoulders , gold eyes shining on me . i want this baby to have those eyes . that perfect smile . `` brooke dumas pregnant with my baby , '' i tell her . in case she did n't see the f**king test , now she f**king knows she 's pregnant by me . she grins happily , and that pure little grin feels like a kiss all along my pulsing cock . i drop my head and trail my tongue in to mate with hers , then i drag the back of one finger across her cheek . `` make it look like you , '' i whisper . `` you 're the one who gave this to me , '' she counters . she laughs , and i laugh with her and roll to my side , gathering her in my arms so i can kiss her all over . i caress her face and kiss her eyelids , and i 'm so f**king delighted , i swear things are actually moving in my chest . she nods breathlessly . `` there is n't a single part of me that does n't know i 'm yours . '' she seizes my hand and spreads it over the curve of her breast , right over her heart . i clench her breast possessively so she remembers its mine , and i bend my head and kiss her . `` i 'm so crazy about you , '' i rasp , and i drag my hand down her lovely curves and pet her . present seattle gah ! '' the only sound in the silent church comes from one of the front rows , and it is followed by soft laughter nearby . `` rem , that boy is priceless . he already feels like he 's the shit and he 's not even one , '' pete murmurs behind me . | [["smell", 7], ["smelt", 7], ["smellest", 7], ["even", 38], ["evens", 38], ["hard", 45], ["take", 63], ["takes", 63], ["home", 70], ["homing", 70], ["pregnancy", 80], ["test", 85], ["run", 97], ["around", 104], ["path", 116], ["hotel", 129], ["carpet", 136], ["urge", 151], ["still", 168], ["acute", 174], ["shadow", 192], ["shadowed", 192], ["boxing", 199], ["bed", 215], ["seating", 231], ["area", 236], ["try", 245], ["tryed", 245], ["trying", 245], ["get", 252], ["rid", 256], ["extra", 274], ["extras", 274], ["energy", 281], ["pull", 290], ["blood", 300], ["bloods", 300], ["blooded", 300], ["cock", 315], ["cockest", 315], ["pump", 322], ["swing", 330], ["swung", 330], ["holy", 344], ["shit", 349], ["pregnant", 373], ["ball", 384], ["balls", 384], 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4122], ["murmurest", 4122], ["murmurs", 4122], ["behind", 4129]] |
she washed her hair and went through her closet , looking for something warm , comfortable , and fun . something that made her feel good . she fixed her hair like theyd shown her in the salon , waving it so it reached the middle of her back . she even put on earrings and some perfume , because it felt nice to partake in a normal ritual . and because she enjoyed wowing riley . he said he loved me ! she hadnt forgotten what hed said last night . and because that was one of the last things that had happened before shed finally fallen asleep , everything else sort of paled in comparison , which was a decidedly good thing . maddy wanted kara or grace here , someone she could talk to . she never thought shed meet someone again , someone she cared about as much as david . but here it was , a few years later and shed met riley . if only she could reciprocate those feelings . or at the very least tell him why she struggled so much with sharing those feelings . maddys heart fluttered and she sat on the edge of the bed a moment . did that mean yes ? she also needed to talk with grace and kara and let them know what happened last night . she had no idea how it would help , only that it strongly affirmed her father was at the heart of it all . she felt it , she knew it . something about him was the key to figuring this all out . maddy wandered down the hallway , pausing at the end when she saw riley pacing . he rubbed an absentminded hand across his chin and turned to walk the other way . how could he look so refreshed after sleeping on the couch all night ? his step was light as he moved , listening with interest . he said a brief farewell before ending the call . when he turned , he looked startled to see her . his eyes were extra blue today , probably from the lack of sleep , but warm . maddy , i didnt know you were there . a slow smile came to his face . he shrugged , dismissing the remark , and leaning his hip against the back of the couch . she took slow steps in his direction until she stood right in front of him . now , you have to repeat after me . repeat after you , yes , i think i remember the rules to this game . say , thank you for the compliment , maddy , though im quite aware that i look great . he laughed but managed to get the words out . and , she continued , i promise i will go to my own house tonight so i can get some sleep . she slid her hands into his , with a smile she made as charming as possible . as i recall , you broke the rules a little yourself last time . ill compromise , then . i will promise to talk to grace or kara about either staying with them or having one of them come over here if you promise to get a better night of sleep . he lifted a hand to brush a stray hair off her cheek and gave a serious nod . she went to the closet to retrieve her jacket , cheek still warm from his touch . i should talk to grace and kara anyway , about last night . well meet them at nathans later this evening because he promised to cook for everybody . elliot will come , too . i think being around friends instead of being home will help . she pressed her lips together briefly . he opened the door for her and they walked to his car . she slid into the front seat . maddy spent most of the ride thinking . what else was she missing ? if her father had something to do with finding the star , then why hadnt something happened when shed visited his old house ? and why did it have to happen at home , at the guesthouse ? someplace she was comfortable in when riley stopped in front of a large house on the opposite side of town , maddy looked over , distracted . the former estate of john p. wilsher and his wife , eleanor . maddy sent him a questioning look . am i supposed to know these people ? he reached over with a chuckle and squeezed her hand . come on , lets get out . maddy exited the car and waited for riley to join her on the driveway . they parked just beyond the gate , far enough back to get the full scope of the house . it was a large , bordering on imposing . but the grounds were attractive and immaculate , lawn stretching wide and trees surrounding the property . no , but dont worry , they know were here . maddy followed riley up the drive . a lock box held the door shut and riley quickly dialed in the code . are you selling this house ? she looked around in awe . its a beautiful home , why do they want to move ? unfortunately , eleanor passed away a few months back and mr. wilsher has decided to move to washington to be closer to his kids . the house was open and empty , most of the furniture gone or covered in white sheets . riley kept his hand on her back and led her to a great room , large enough to hold most of the guesthouse . | [["wash", 10], ["washed", 10], ["hair", 19], ["go", 28], ["goest", 28], ["went", 28], ["closet", 47], ["closets", 47], ["look", 57], ["looking", 57], ["warm", 76], ["comfortable", 90], ["fun", 100], ["feel", 131], ["good", 136], ["fix", 148], ["fixes", 148], ["fixed", 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dantalion was greatly injured however , and they were forced to flee . solomon wandered from city to city before coming to an ammonite city where he worked in the kings kitchens . later , solomon gained the chance to prepare a meal for the ammonite king and the king was so impressed by it that he fired his head chef . in this manner , solomon also managed to catch the eye of the kings beautiful daughter , naamah , and she fell in love with him . the king disapproved of their union unfortunately and exiled them into the desert . solomon and naamah wandered the desert until they came to a coastal city where they bought a fish to eat . as it so happened the fish contained solomons magic ring , which it had swallowed ! with the ring back in his possession solomon was able to regain his throne and expel asmodeus from his city . dantalion and asmodeus werent the only demons that solomon had captured and controlled with the ring during his reign . in fact , there were seventy-two demons . the lesser key of solomon is a grimoire relating the story of solomon capturing demons using his ring and forcing them to explain themselves to him . this ancient work that the humans now possessed could be used for things like exorcism . the book can be dangerous in the wrong hands and should really only be in the hands of priests who know that they were doing when it comes to exorcisms . dantalion was the seventy-first demon that solomon captured , controlled and forced to explain himself . the lesser key of solomon states : the seventy-first spirit is dantalion . he is a duke great and mighty , appearing in the form of a man with many countenances , all mens and womens faces ; and he hath a book in his right hand . his office is to teach all arts and sciences unto any ; and to declare the secret counsel of any one ; for he knoweth the thoughts of all men and women , and can change them at his will . he can cause love , and show the similitude of any person , and show the same by a vision , let them be in what part of the world they will . he governeth thirty-six legions of spirits . several of the demons had served solomon willingly , and had even formed a friendship with him , but others like asmodeus had not . to be continuedin drink 10 : six cycle dantalion : good evening , inferior human , so you wish to know how to make a manhattan ? well , chill your martini glass with water or soda and ice . pour into an empty shaker tin 2 ounces of american rye whiskey , 1 ounce of sweet vermouth and a dash of angostura bitters . then pour the tin contents into another tin with ice when you are ready ( this is so the contents arent sitting in the ice so that they become diluted ) . stir with a bar spoon for thirty seconds and when you are done pour into the chilled martini glass . garnish with a maraschino cherry and enjoy ! remember that the legal drinking age is 21 , and to drink responsibly . chapter 10 : six cycle dante watched alan fall into a fitful sleep . he began to toss and turn , and his breathing became irregular . the demon realized that alan was having a nightmare . he reached his hand out to wake alan up , butthe fear that alan began to feel while in the clutches of the nightmare began to crash through dante , filling him with power . dantes horns sprouted out of his head , his incisors lengthened , and a red aura began to flare around him like flames . dante pulled his hand back . he felt bad that alan was feeling such intense fear caused by whatever he was dreaming about , but with the power alan was providing him dante would be able to use his magic to repair the pub . this was the first time dante had ever felt guilty for using a humans fear to gain power . dante reached out and patted alans sweat-soaked brow . i wont take long , boss . the demon left alans bedroom and closed the door softly behind him . he made his way down the stairs and back into the pub . dante looked around , inspecting the damage that had been done to the pub . several glass shelves behind the bar had been shattered . two tables had been smashed to bits , and the front window had a huge gaping hole in it . dante raised his hand towards the glass shelves first and summoned his demonic power . the broken shelves were bathed in a pulsing , red light and then the glass began to put itself back together . in seconds , the shelves had been restored . pity the liquor would not return to the newly formed , empty liquor bottles . dante shrugged , the empty bottles could be used to practice his flair bartending techniques . dante pointed his hand towards the smashed tables next . they were bathed in a red-tinged light and the broken tables began to put themselves back together . | [["greatly", 21], ["injure", 29], ["injures", 29], ["injured", 29], ["however", 37], ["force", 60], ["forced", 60], ["flee", 68], ["flees", 68], ["solomon", 78], ["wander", 87], ["wandered", 87], ["city", 97], ["come", 119], ["coming", 119], ["ammonite", 134], 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shea stood under the spray , eyes closed , her brow creased in pain . she 'd scrubbed the blood and dirt from her body , but there was nothing she could do about the bruises . she 'd barely been able to soap her hair because her hands quaked so violently . reaction had set in and she was a hot mess . the horror of the last days hit her like a ton of bricks . nathan was with her . instead , tears rolled down her cheeks and her knees threatened to give out . she covered her face and tried to control the sobs that bubbled from her chest . the water turned off , and she stood dripping wet and hiccupping as sob after sob es- caped . nathan pulled away long enough to wrap a towel around her shaking body and then he lifted her into his arms . `` it 's okay , baby , '' he murmured against her forehead . he set her on the bed then pulled the blanket around her . the top of her head . he rained kisses down on her face . she turned her face into his neck and burrowed into his warmth . for the longest time he merely held her as silent sobs spilled from her chest . he caressed her hair , ran his hand down her blanket-covered body and simply sat in silence while he waited for her to collect herself . she loved that he did n't seem to fall apart at her distress . or that he did n't demand to know what was wrong so he could fix it . he acted like he understood . when her sobs diminished to soft puffs of air and the shaking ceased , he pulled her carefully away from his body and stared down into her eyes . without a word , without asking permission , he slid the covers down her arms , baring her flesh to his sharp gaze . though there was nothing sexual in his assessment , she was achingly aware that his gaze tracked over her nak*d body . he pulled at the towel , his hands gentle and nonthreatening . he touched every bruise , his expression fierce . his fingers brushed over the cuts and scrapes she 'd collected in her flight through the forest . the more he discovered , the blacker his expression became . then he turned her and sucked in his breath at the jagged cut on her thigh . he grasped her arms and turned her back to meet the fury in his eyes . `` what the hell did they do to you , shea ? she closed her eyes against the sudden burn of tears . damn it , she 'd only just managed to stop crying and now she was weepy again . an emotional mess . `` they wanted me to tell them about grace , '' she choked out . you can guess the rest . '' he cupped her jaw and feathered his thumb across her cheek and then her lips . `` they beat me , okay ? they held me down and they meted out a very calculated , unemotional beating meant to break me . when that did n't work , they refused to give me water or food and then they beat me again . '' nathan 's face had whitened . his eyes looked tortured , dark and frightfully cold . his hand shook on her face and he looked very much like she felt . `` and the cut on your leg ? she glanced down and her stomach revolted as the memory of what she 'd done came back with startling clarity . pain snaked down her leg , phantom pain , as if she were enduring the knife slicing her skin all over again . `` they implanted a tracking device . when i escaped , i knew i had to cut it out so they could n't find me so easily . '' `` my god , shea . '' to her shock , his eyes glittered with tears and grief . she swallowed painfully , overcome at the emotion that shone on his face . `` my god , baby , what you went through . you 've already been through so much for me . why did n't you call for me before now ? there was no need for you to have gone through any of this . she turned her face so that her lips brushed over his palm . she cupped her hand over his and kissed the rough skin . then she trailed her hand up his arm , crossing over the scars that marred the once smooth flesh . she touched every one and glanced up at him to see his reaction . he looked sick , like he wanted to pull away from her . she could tell he did n't want her touching him , drawing attention to the scars that crisscrossed his body . how many more were there that she had n't yet seen ? `` you had already endured more than any human should ever endure , '' she said softly . `` you needed time to heal . to go home and be with your family again . you needed to learn to live again , to want to live . i could n't ask you to help me when you needed so much more than i did . '' he flinched when she put her fingers to the scar on the side of his neck . | [["shea", 4], ["stood", 10], ["stand", 10], ["standest", 10], ["spray", 26], ["sprayed", 26], ["eye", 33], ["eyed", 33], ["eyes", 33], ["close", 40], ["closed", 40], ["brow", 51], ["crease", 59], ["creased", 59], ["pain", 67], ["scrub", 85], ["scrubbed", 85], ["blood", 95], ["bloods", 95], ["blooded", 95], ["dirt", 104], ["body", 118], ["bodied", 118], ["nothing", 142], ["bruise", 173], ["bruises", 173], ["barely", 189], ["able", 199], ["abled", 199], ["soap", 207], ["soaps", 207], ["hair", 216], ["hand", 234], ["hands", 234], ["quake", 241], ["quaked", 241], ["violently", 254], ["reaction", 265], ["set", 273], ["hot", 294], ["mess", 299], ["messed", 299], ["messing", 299], ["horror", 312], ["last", 324], ["day", 329], ["days", 329], ["hit", 333], ["like", 342], ["ton", 348], ["brick", 358], ["bricks", 358], ["nathan", 367], ["instead", 390], ["tear", 398], ["teared", 398], ["tears", 398], ["roll", 405], 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tonino called nervously to paolo , poppa , poppa , i 'm afraid to go on my stomach ! should i go on my stomach ? well , how are you doing so far ? then it will be alright on your stomach . but i 'll get water in my face ! sally said , no , you can keep your head up . i 'm going to hold you just still at the very top of the water . poppa , will i get my face wet ? paolo grinned , you do n't have to . tonino decided to do it . oh , that 's great ! now move this arm like this . and the other like that ... see ! tonino was managing a very rudimentary approximation of a small swim . i 'm swimming ! be careful , paolo told sally . do n't worry , she answered , i have him tight under here . after a few minutes it all became too much for the elated tonino and he and sally got back in the boat . paolo dried him vigorously with a towel . i was swimming , poppa ! let me row , tonino said . you swim and now you want to row ! paolo said affectionately . sally told tonino , you 're going to be a star athlete . was i good , poppa ? i was good , was n't i ? ! you certainly were , but i 'd better row or the hungry sally will eat us both up . can i swim tomorrow too , poppa ? sure , sally told him . when paolo finished drying tonino , and giving him a little love whack on his small behind , he began to row them all back to shore . boy , i 'm out of shape ! i have n't really rowed a boat since last year . next time , let 's not go out this far . it 's just the cigarettes , sally told him , there 's nothing wrong with you that giving up the cigarettes would n't help . she asked tonino , you 're not going to smoke when you grow up , are you tonino ? no , poppa , he said . you 're going to be smarter than i am , paolo said . he already is , sally teased . tonino involuntarily laughed . paolo told sally , you 'll regret that . right now i just want to rest awhile , let the breeze blow and see if we can drift part of the way to shore . let 's go in now , tonino said . you said i could play on the grass . look how fast we 're floating in , paolo told him . faster than if your father tried his funny rowing , sally said . tonino laughed again . sally relaxed . it 's so nice like this . its amazing how the water changes color , depending on where the clouds move . oh , tonino cried , look how the sun makes rays down from the clouds . just like in church ! it must mean you 're a saint , paolo said . tonino giggled , do n't be silly , poppa . paolo mimicked him , do n't be silly , poppa . both tonino and sally laughed together . paolo suddenly sat up , as they began to approach the shore . i guess we got here faster than i thought . give me that oar , will you , sally . we 're getting too close to those rocks . here , she said , but it 's going to be even harder to row now with all these weeds . can i help in some way , paolo ? why do n't you get out and push . she and tonino laughed together again . suddenly tonino bolted up in the boat , standing and pointing . poppa , look ! he said excitedly , look how you can see to the bottom ! for heaven sake , tonino , sit down ! ! his father yelled at him . he sat down quickly , chastened . sally winked at him and made him smile . tonino 's good spirits returned . he said when the sun comes out you can see all the stuff and things at the bottom , poppa ! and sometimes it even looks red..how can it be red under blue water , poppa ? paolo started to explain well , when the ... . suddenly tonino grabbed sally by the arm . sally ! ! look over here , sally ! ! see all the colors ! quick , sally ! before it swims away ! ! chapter thirty eight no , you ca n't come in , tonino told his father . instead he allowed only sally into the secret recesses of his room . sally slipped into tonino 's inner sanctuary with an exaggerated air of superiority , as paolo pretended to feel left out . but he did n't feel left out . he loved it when tonino treated sally like a pal . paolo told sally he was thrilled about how they were 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he was enjoying being able to work alongside gabrielle , coming home with her , sharing dinner , sleeping together . and one day they might even have a family . the thought of gabrielle carrying his child made him feel kind of strange . like he was standing on shifting sand . she said in a low voice , querying his silence , sending him into action . he eased her off him and rolled out of bed . `` let 's get something to eat , '' he muttered , standing , glad to be back on solid ground . the sound of water running in the shower roused gabrielle at four the next morning . for a moment she lay there half-awake , remembering the feel of damien 's lips on hers after they 'd gone to bed . he 'd taken her with his body , conquering her , dividing her , seeming to know what she wanted before she did . it had made for an incredible union . she must have fallen asleep again because she woke to the sound of water still running in the shower . this time her eyelids flew open . what on earth was damien doing in there ? she threw back the covers and hurried into the bathroom . and stopped dead when she saw him nak*d in the shower , his forehead pressed against the tiled wall as if he did n't have the energy to hold himself up . `` oh my god , '' she said , racing across the room . she slid the glass door back , thankful to find the water cold . he looked up at her groggily . `` i was hot , '' he mumbled , his eyes not really focusing on her , his cheeks flushed . his skin was warm despite the cold water running over him . `` you 've got a fever , '' she said , turning the taps off . he seemed to become aware of her . `` allergy . '' a slice of panic raced through her . allergies could be life threatening . he tried to straighten up . `` my doctor . her panic receded as common sense took hold . if it had been life threatening , damien would be dead by now . oh god , she could n't think that . he made a feeble attempt to step out of the cubicle . `` i can make it , '' he said , then swayed as he tried to stand by himself . `` i 'm sure , '' she said wryly , grabbing a towel to throw over his shoulders and dry him , but he pulled it away and wrapped it around his trim hips , looking thoroughly sexy and masculine . `` just lean a little , then . she slowly led him back to the bedroom and helped him down on the bed . he groaned when his head touched the pillow , and she frowned as she looked down at him . `` i 'll go call your doctor . '' `` good , '' he rasped . she hurried away and made the call after finding his doctor 's private number in the address book by the telephone . thankfully the doctor seemed to take it in his stride that he was being called out before dawn . when she came back , damien had fallen asleep . his cheeks were flushed and he started mumbling . it was obvious he was a little delirious and that worried her . the doctor said he knew the problem and would come straight around , so she hoped he kept to his word . she did n't like seeing damien like this . all at once he started to move restlessly . sorry i could n't be ... '' he trailed off to sleep again , making gabrielle wondered what he 'd been about to say . just then the doctor arrived . `` it 's a food allergy , '' the older man said after she let him into the apartment and they went into the bedroom . `` some sort of preservative . it makes him dizzy and gives him a fever . he must have eaten some of it last night . '' he put his bag down on the bed and gave damien a cursory glance . `` do you know what he had for dinner ? '' `` our housekeeper cooked lasagna , but i 'm sure she must know about the allergy . '' gabrielle could n't imagine damien risking this too often . the doctor opened his bag and started to prepare an injection . `` it 's hard to tell what 's in some foods . he might 've got a good dose of it by accident . '' deep concern filled her . `` is n't there anything you can do about it ? '' `` there 's some allergy tests , but he wo n't have them done . he says he can handle it . '' his eyes held a rueful glint . she found herself smiling back at him , relieved more than anything that he was here . `` that sounds like damien . '' he gave the injection , then looked up at her again . `` by the way , i 'm ken . i 've been damien 's doctor for a few years now . i believe you 're the new mrs . `` so word 's out ? 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i do n't want to know that you 're taking her to dinner and that she 's sleeping over , it 's just too much for me at this point . i need time to adjust and so do you . '' she lowered her voice and said , `` i 'll miss you this week and i ca n't wait to see you . '' `` suzy , this is killing me . i know i 'm hurting you and i ca n't stand it . i 'm trying to do what 's right and i do n't even know what that is anymore . i 'll give you the time you need this week , but come friday night , i want you in my arms again . tears trickled down her cheeks as she ended the call . maybe it was better to know what was going on in charleston than to sit here letting her imagination run wild . good grief , suck it up buttercup . you 're sitting at your desk crying at work . go do what you do best , shop . buy something sexy for friday and pretend that gray is just away on business this week . put your head up and your shoulders back , you 're better than this drama . ok , i 've got this . suzy picked up the phone and dialed beth . `` hey , let 's go shopping during lunch . i need a new dress for friday . invite ella if you like and i 'll ask claire . it 's time for some retail therapy . '' when she hung up the phone with beth , she dialed claire 's extension . `` hey girlfriend , how 's it waddling ? '' `` my baby and i are just fine suz , thanks for asking . '' one thing she loved about claire , she had a sense of humor and she always got her , no matter what . `` beth , ella and i are going shopping during lunch . i wondered if you felt like coming along . if we go to the mall , we can rent one of the scooters for you . '' then as if the thought had suddenly struck her suzy snorted , `` hell i 'm gon na need a scooter , too . i 'm so tired of this cast . '' `` if i can roll around with this bowling ball attached to me , surely you can work those crutches , suz . maybe we can have beth drop us right at the front door so we wo n't have to walk as far . this is going to sound so wrong , but do you think nick would let us borrow his mini-van ? '' i know i make fun of him all of the time , but i 'm going to have to give him credit , that thing rocks . i 'd never be caught owning one but it 's like riding in a blue collar limousine or something . '' claire started laughing gasping out , `` god please stop , if i laugh too hard i 'll pee myself . '' `` oh yuk , why would you do that ? '' `` oh honey , you do n't know how it is when you 're pregnant . you have to pee all of the time . i barely get back in my chair before i have to go again . ah , the boss just walked in . i better get off here before i get in trouble , '' claire laughed . `` i 'll come down to your office around noon . '' after she finished her call to claire , suzy stood up and opened her office door . she refused to hide away and have a pity party all afternoon . she 'd be cheerful and carefree even if it killed her . as she was going to sit back down , she saw beth standing in the doorway hesitantly . she gave her a warm smile and waved her in . `` is this a good time to go over the schedule for the rest of the week , sis ? '' `` sure , fire away . '' she knew beth was studying her for any sign of a chink in her amour , but she was determined that she would n't find one . she 'd always hated people who brought their personal problems to the office . it 's not that she was unfeeling , but she was really at a loss as to how best help someone who was crying all over their day calendar . she generally asked them if they wanted to have a drink that evening and then prayed the rest of the day that they would recover before then . suzy was considered somewhat of a gypsy or free spirit at work , but it did n't take people long to realize that she was tough as nails when she had to be and sugary sweet when she needed a favor from a vendor . until gray , she 'd always been very careful to keep her personal life disconnected from danvers . her job had been her escape when she 'd broken up with jeff . when she walked in the door at work , it was time to leave her problems at the door . she joked around with her co-workers and teased her friends but at the end of the day , she had a job to do . | [["know", 21], ["knowest", 21], ["take", 41], ["taking", 41], ["dinner", 55], ["slept", 80], ["sleep", 80], ["sleeps", 80], ["sleepest", 80], ["sleeping", 80], ["much", 107], ["point", 128], ["need", 137], ["needest", 137], ["time", 142], ["adjust", 152], ["lower", 183], ["lowers", 183], ["lowerest", 183], ["lowered", 183], ["voice", 193], ["say", 202], ["sayest", 202], ["said", 202], ["miss", 218], ["week", 232], ["ca", 241], ["cas", 241], ["wait", 250], ["waitest", 250], ["see", 257], ["suzy", 274], ["kill", 292], ["killing", 292], ["hurt", 317], ["hurts", 317], ["hurting", 317], ["stood", 340], ["stand", 340], ["standest", 340], ["try", 357], ["tryed", 357], ["trying", 357], ["right", 377], ["rightest", 377], ["even", 395], ["evens", 395], ["anymore", 421], ["give", 434], ["come", 477], ["friday", 484], ["night", 490], ["arm", 514], ["arms", 514], ["tear", 528], ["teared", 528], ["tears", 528], ["trickle", 537], 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|
she 'd been upset that roy had gone against her express wishes , but she 'd forgiven him in time and even found a measure of relief in knowing that this uncomfortable task had been taken from her . after he 'd learned the news , though , chad had n't made any effort to contact her . that should n't surprise her , though . oh , he 'd had mack deliver those books , which showed he was concerned . but he had n't reached out to her-nor , for that matter , had she approached him . it occurred to her that he might want to know about the ultrasound . the nurse who 'd scheduled it had told gloria that she could bring someone with her . she 'd considered asking her birth mother , but corrie was in north dakota with linnette and her new grandson . otherwise , corrie would certainly have accompanied her . but she had to acknowledge that the one person who should be there was chad . fingers shaking , she picked up her cell phone and punched the button that would connect her to chad . a dozen times she 'd been tempted to delete his number . perhaps she 'd secretly wanted to maintain this link . `` it 's gloria . '' her throat was so dry , she could barely get her name out . `` i understand roy told you ... '' `` that you 're pregnant , '' he finished . `` yes ... almost five months . '' silence again , a tense silence that gnawed at her stomach . `` i tried to tell you , '' she blurted out . `` that day i showed up at the hospital . but you were with this woman and- '' `` i remember , '' he said , cutting her off . `` how is your ... friend ? '' that was a less than subtle way of asking if he was involved with the other woman . gloria clenched her fist . `` is everything okay with the baby ? '' his voice remained cool , detached . he had n't inquired about her . `` everything is normal so far ... . i 'm having an ultrasound tomorrow at nine . '' she regretted calling him . chad 's attitude-indifference verging on hostility-was making this nearly impossible . `` the nurse said i could bring someone , '' she muttered , feeling foolish . i ... i realize i did n't give you much notice . '' `` i work the early shift on tuesdays . '' she should 've phoned right away ... . chad was saying he 'd join her if he could-that he wanted to be with her . `` okay , '' she said , and recited the pertinent information . `` at nine , '' he repeated . `` yes , and , chad , thank you for the books . '' she wanted him to know that she was aware those had come from him . he might not care about her , but he cared about his baby , and that gave her courage . she wondered if she would 've had the nerve to call him if not for that one small sign . `` mack told you the books were from me ? '' i confronted him about it after roy admitted he 'd talked to you . '' once she 'd found out , her emotions had been chaotic for days afterward . `` i have a right to know i 'm about to become a father . '' `` you should never have hidden it from me . '' she heard the resentment in his voice ; clearly he had n't yet forgiven her . `` i hope to see you tomorrow , '' she said , and before their conversation could deteriorate into a verbal battle , she ended the call . she did understand his reaction to her keeping the pregnancy a secret . the ironic thing was , she 'd done it for him . chad was seeing someone else-still might be , for all she knew . at this point their only bond was the baby , and she did n't feel that an unplanned responsibility , one he had n't asked for , should interfere with his future or his new relationship . the next morning gloria arrived at the ultrasound clinic fifteen minutes early . the waiting area held six chairs , four of which were occupied . gloria took the fifth one , sat down and picked up a magazine . the couple across from her held hands , while the other couple whispered excitedly . the two holding hands were called in first . gloria glanced at the wall clock , figuring chad probably had n't been able to get the time off . ten minutes later , the assistant called her name . gloria put down the magazine , which she 'd hardly looked at , and stood . she followed the woman out of the waiting area and into an examination room . she was on the table , with her pants unzipped and pulled down and her top raised , when there was a knock on the door . the technician was explaining the procedure and what gloria could expect to see and not see in the ultrasound . she listened intently but found herself distracted by a feeling of aloneness . a feeling of abandonment , of not mattering enough to anyone . the lump in her throat seemed about to choke her-and then the assistant opened the door . `` dr. chad timmons is here . | [["upset", 17], ["roy", 26], ["go", 35], ["goest", 35], ["gone", 35], ["express", 55], ["wish", 62], ["wishes", 62], ["forgive", 84], ["forgived", 84], ["forgiving", 84], ["forgiven", 84], ["time", 96], ["even", 105], ["evens", 105], ["find", 111], ["found", 111], 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pastor harris told her he planned to stay through the night , so she could bring jonah back home , but she felt guilty nonetheless for leaving . tomorrow , her dad had tests scheduled during the day and another meeting with his doctor . in between those things , he would be tired and she knew he 'd need his rest . but she wanted to be there , she wanted to be at his side , even if he was asleep , because she knew the time would come when she could n't . behind her , she heard the back door squeak open ; will closed it gently behind him . as he approached her , she continued to gaze out over the sandy beach . `` jonah 's finally asleep , '' he said . `` but i do n't think he really understands what 's happening . he told me he 's pretty sure the doctor will make his dad all better , and he kept asking when his dad could come home . '' she remembered his cries from the hospital room , and all she could do was nod . will slipped his arms around her . `` how do you think i 'm doing ? i just found out my father is dying and that he probably wo n't live to see christmas . '' i know how hard this is for you . '' she could feel his hands on her waist . `` i 'll stay tonight so if anything happens and you have to go , someone can be with jonah . i can stay around here as long as you need me to . i know i 'm supposed to be leaving in a couple of days , but i can call the dean 's office and explain what 's happening . classes do n't start until next week . '' `` you ca n't fix this , '' she said . though she could hear the sharpness in her tone , she could n't help it . `` i 'm not trying to fix it- '' `` yes , you are ! her heart suddenly felt as if it were going to explode . `` and you ca n't understand what i 'm going through , either ! '' `` i 've lost someone , too , '' he reminded her . `` it 's not the same ! '' she squeezed the bridge of her nose , trying to stifle her tears . `` i was so mean to him . i quit the piano ! i blamed him for everything , and i did n't say more than a few words to him for three years ! and i ca n't get those years back . but maybe if i had n't been so angry , he might not have gotten sick . maybe i caused that extra ... stress that did all this . maybe it was me ! '' she pulled away from will . will tried to take her back into his arms , but it was the last thing she wanted , and she tried to push him away . when he did n't let go , she pounded his chest . i can handle this alone ! '' but still he held her , and when she realized he was n't going to let go , she finally collapsed into him . and for a long time , she let him hold her as she cried . ronnie lay in her darkened bedroom , listening to the sound of jonah breathing . will was sleeping on the couch in the living room . she knew she should try to rest , but she kept waiting for the phone to ring . she imagined the worst : that her father had begun to cough again , that he 'd lost more blood , that there was nothing anyone could do ... beside her , on the bedstand , was her father 's bible . earlier , she 'd glanced through it , unsure what she would find . had he underlined passages or folded down pages ? as she flipped through the book , she 'd found few traces of her father , other than a well-worn feel to the pages that suggested a deep familiarity with nearly every chapter . she wished that he 'd done something to make it his own , something that left behind clues about himself , but there was nothing even to suggest that he 'd found one passage more interesting than another . she 'd never read the bible , but somehow she knew that she would read this one , searching for whatever meaning her father had found within the pages . she wondered if the bible had been given to him by pastor harris or whether he 'd bought it on his own , and how long it had been in his possession . there was so much she did n't know about him , and she wondered now why she 'd never bothered to ask him . but she would , she decided . if she soon would have only memories , then she wanted as many as she could collect , and as she found herself praying for the first time in years , she begged god for enough time to make it possible . 32 will will did n't sleep well . throughout the night , he 'd heard ronnie tossing and turning and pacing in her room . he recognized the shock she was feeling ; he remembered the numbness and guilt , the disbelief and anger , after mikey had died . | [["pastor", 6], ["harris", 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they never do , do they ? the delusions of false people . while he paused in thought , or lack of it , a short relief in real terms , but an aeon for a gasbag like this , my buddys read my mind and released their grips from my neck . we finally knew what to do . and did you never wonder ? i asked , again leaving a pause . he asked , noticeably weaker . the power game had shifted . it gave the buddys a chance to slide down my sleeves into my cupped hands , waiting for their landing . what , my friend ? what did i never wonder ? i leaned toward him , and whispered , where did all the vikings come from ? the-the vikings ? then , his mind firing but not really getting anywhere , yes , yes , i understand you now , mj . they are twenty centuries off schedule . i had not occurred to me before . quite a conundrum . quite a poser . he applied his last residue of brashness . we made a link . not the falseman and me . but the keeper , the buddys and me . we connected like a perfect moment , as if a currant ran through us , a high ampage that didnt hurt us , but filled us like bulbs or flies in love , every shadow of our being replaced with the fire between us as we bonded like lovers do , and i harkened to the moment in the cave , the scientists laboratory , when the fountain poured from my soul and washed the underworld with light . this same magical thing was happening all over again . but , through me , a much-changed man , a man who could control his power and give it commands to do as i wished . and what i asked it to do tipped over the scales of fortune completely , because it filled a man of shadows with a knowledge he couldnt dare face up to . from my pouring hands i engulfed the falseman . he staggered back in surprise , as if hed suddenly smelt life and couldnt stand it . my gold wrapping around him , the fire burning into his dna , into his superior genes , and making a few modifications like an engineer rebuilding from the circuits outwards . i could hear his muffles and didnt care for his inconveniences . i didnt care for him at all . hed deserved this from a long time back , back even before hed lied to michelle and lied and deceived everyone hed ever been cared by . hed had this coming for centuries . well , the centuries were going to take him now . not just in their dozens , but their thousands and thousands . it was time , high time , for the biggest lesson of his life . hey presto , you bastard . as the gold faded , he staggered some more , moving apart from his soldiers , who had failed to act upon the assault on their leader . because they had slipped and given us an opening . the software organisms had known what to do and had frozen them by the glitch in their armoury , they had been silently developing under their soles . when i released their leader , they were freed too , their fists raising in alarm . but we werent worried . i gave a small cough and motioned toward their fuhrer . the rest was down to them . like the engineer known as evolution , id been doing my own tinkering , and georgian longue could not believe his eyes . or his new face . a mirror ! mon dieu , what you have done ? he exclaimed this before the reflection shimmered into sight and he had the same shock to the system as id had before . but with me it didnt matter how i looked . with the falseman , outward appearance was everything . and this crucified him . well , killed him off at least . i hadnt merely sent him to an ancestral calling from the 6th century . i hadnt even gone to barely 6 bc [ or bce actually ] . id taken him much further back than that . back to a time when we were all together in a smaller gene pool , to when we hadnt even left our home of origin . id sent him back to our roots in africa . to when the white people , some who would become idiots , hadnt even evolved from the ancestor common to all of us . to viking , gaul , celt , samurai , zulu , native american , aztec , inca , inuit , to all of us . quite neatly , i thought to myself , i had transformed the stupid racist into a blackman . an africaan of the southern valley . where it all began , for all us whiteys . but , for georgian longue , for the frenchman , no , the falseman , this was the end . the reichian soldiers didnt understand what they were seeing . but they did understand their training . and , quite by instinct , quite by the fuhrers insistance , they did the only thing they could do . not once their fist ballistics had finished cutting him into pieces . | [["never", 10], ["delusion", 39], ["delusions", 39], ["false", 48], ["people", 55], ["pause", 73], ["paused", 73], ["think", 84], ["thought", 84], ["thinkest", 84], ["lack", 94], ["short", 110], ["relief", 117], ["reliefs", 117], ["reis", 125], ["real", 125], ["term", 131], ["terming", 131], ["terms", 131], ["aeon", 145], ["gasbag", 158], ["like", 163], ["read", 185], ["reads", 185], ["mind", 193], ["minding", 193], ["release", 206], ["released", 206], ["grip", 218], ["grips", 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he crossed his arms and stared out the window . he did n't dare make eye contact with eric . he needed just a minute to collect himself . `` i 've been working on something , '' he said . dean looked down at his brother then and saw a glimpse of the old eric-the young eric-and his throat tightened even more . slowly , he lowered the metal bed rail . when it clanged into place , he said , `` are you up for a little trip ? '' i 'm so sick of this bed i could cry . hell , i do cry ... all the time . '' dean leaned forward , scooped his brother into his arms and lifted him up from the bed . god , he weighed nothing at all . it was like holding a fragile child ; only it was his brother . his strong , outspoken big brother ; who 'd once led the island football team in touchdown passes ... dean shut the memories off . if he remembered who eric used to be-now , while this frail , hollowed man was in his arms-he would stumble and fall . he carried his brother downstairs and through the house , past lottie in the kitchen , who waved , her eyes overbright ... across the manicured green lawn and down the bank to the beach . on the slanted , wooden dock , he 'd already set up an oversize adirondack chair and piled pillows onto it . `` the wind lass , '' eric said softly . dean carefully placed his brother into the chair ; then tucked the cashmere blanket tightly around his thin body . it was nearing sunset . the sky was low enough to touch . the last rays of the setting sun turned everything pink -- the waves , the clouds , the pebbled beach that curled protectively along the fish-hook shape of the shoreline . the sailboat was still in bad shape , but at least she was clean . dean sat down beside eric . stretching out his legs , he leaned back against one of the wooden pilings . `` i still have some more work to do on her . jeff brein , down at the crow 's nest , is repairing the sail , and it should be done tomorrow . wendy johnson is cleaning the cushions . i thought ... maybe if we could take her out ... '' dean let the sentence trail off . he did n't know quite how to sculpt his amorphous hope into something as ordinary as words . `` we could remember how it used to be , '' eric said . `` how we used to be . '' of course eric had understood . eric drew the blanket tighter against his chin . `` so , what 's it like , being the favored son ? '' eric sighed and leaned back into the pillows . `` remember when she loved me ? when i was a star athlete with awesome grades and a promising future . i was her trophy boy . '' dean remembered . their mother had adored eric , her dark-haired angel , she called him . the only time mom and dad came to the island was football season . every homecoming game , mom had dressed in her best `` casual '' clothes and gone to the game , where she cheered on her quarterback son . when the season ended , they were gone again . eric had lived in the warm glow of his parents ' affection for so long , he 'd mistaken pride for love , but when he 'd told them about charles , he 'd learned the depth of his naivete ' . mother had n't spoken to him since . so it had been dean , the younger ; less perfect son , who 'd taken over the family business . it had never been something he wanted to do , but family expectations especially in a wealthy family-were a sticky web . `` i remember , '' he said quietly . `` i heard the phone ring last night about eleven o'clock , '' eric said . dean looked away ; eye contact was impossible . some phone company rep who- '' `` do n't bother ; bro . it was her ; was n't it ? '' `` still in athens ? '' `` florence . mother had the nerve to tell me that the shopping was great . '' she 'd also said , come on over dean-we 've got plenty of room at the villa . as if it did n't matter at all that her elder son lay dying . eric 's gaze was pathetically hopeful as he turned to dean . `` are they coming to see me ? '' `` did you tell them this is it ? i 'm not going to be around much longer ? '' dean reached out , touched his brother 's hand . it surprised both of them , that sudden bit of intimacy . eric released a thready sigh . `` what good is an agonizing death by cancer if your own family wo n't weep by your bedside ? '' `` i 'm here , '' dean said softly . tears came to eric 's eyes . `` i know , baby brother . | [["cross", 10], ["crossing", 10], ["crossed", 10], ["arm", 19], ["arms", 19], ["stared", 30], ["window", 45], ["windows", 45], ["dare", 63], ["eye", 72], ["eyed", 72], ["contact", 80], ["eric", 90], ["erics", 90], ["need", 102], ["needest", 102], ["needed", 102], ["minute", 116], ["collect", 127], ["work", 159], ["wrought", 159], ["working", 159], ["say", 185], ["sayest", 185], ["said", 185], ["dean", 192], ["deans", 192], ["look", 199], ["looked", 199], ["brother", 219], ["brethren", 219], ["see", 232], ["saw", 232], ["glimpse", 242], ["glimpses", 242], ["old", 253], ["young", 268], ["youngest", 268], ["throat", 288], ["tighten", 298], ["tightens", 298], ["tightenest", 298], ["tightened", 298], ["even", 303], ["evens", 303], ["slowly", 317], ["lowers", 330], ["lowerest", 330], ["lowered", 330], ["metal", 340], ["bed", 344], ["rail", 349], ["clang", 367], ["clanged", 367], ["clanging", 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it was damn nice to have friends . people who dropped things at a moments notice when one of their friends were in need . damn it , she was n't going to get all weepy again . must be the freaking medication . `` i 'd love some water , '' she said around her scratchy throat . damon pulled one of the paper cups from a canister by the sink and poured it half full with water . he went around to the opposite side of where serena sat and carefully slid his free hand underneath julie . do n't try to do too much at once , '' he murmured . grateful for his strength , she leaned forward and sipped hungrily at the water . when she was done , he eased her back down . `` no problem , julie . serena and i came as soon as nathan called us . '' `` where is nathan , anyway ? '' `` pop and connor brought his truck , and he went down to grab something to eat with them . '' `` have i been out that long ? '' serena smiled and squeezed her hand . `` yep , several hours . doc was by , said you were doing just fine and you could go home when you came around as long as you were feeling up to it . scans came back okay . '' she sighed at the thought of curling up with a soft pillow . `` you 're coming home with me and damon , '' serena said firmly . `` you are , '' damon said with a smile . `` or so serena assures me . she 's informed me you have no choice in the matter , and truly , we have plenty of room . my staff will fuss over you and spoil you endlessly . think of it as a holiday . '' `` i hope you were n't trying to talk me out of it with that speech , '' julie said with a tired grin . `` sounds far too marvelous to pass up . '' the nurse sailed in , a middle aged doctor on her heels . have a nice nap ? '' julie smiled crookedly . `` that was some good shit you gave me . i could have slept through a hurricane . '' `` you ready to get out of here , miss stanford ? '' the doctor asked in a distracted voice as he scribbled on his clipboard . `` your tests all came back fine . you 'll have some swelling and residual stiffness tomorrow . bruising too , so do n't let that alarm you . i 've prescribed muscle relaxers and pain relievers . a few hot baths probably would n't hurt , and you can ice the shoulder afterward if it bothers you too much . follow up with your family doctor in a few days , and if you have any nausea , dizziness or sudden pain , come back to the emergency room immediately . '' julie smiled and reached for the scrips . he smiled back and patted her arm . `` take care and stay out of traffic awhile , eh ? '' julie asked when the doctor stepped out . `` i can leave now ? '' `` yep , '' the nurse said . `` i need to finish writing your discharge papers . if you want to get dressed , i 'll be back in just a minute to give you your copies and you can be on your way . '' julie looked down at her hospital gown . `` oh boy , '' she murmured . serena reached down and picked up a duffel bag from the floor . she held it with one finger and grinned at julie . julie 's shoulders sagged in relief . `` die a fiery death , no doubt , '' serena murmured . julie shook her head at damon . `` she has such an ego . '' `` i 'm afraid i 'm not very good at tamping down that ego of hers . i encourage it way too much . '' `` oooh , serena ! '' julie latched on to her friend 's hand and tugged it upward into better light . a huge diamond solitaire sparkled on her ring finger . serena beamed almost as bright as the diamond . damon has such wonderful taste . '' he chose you , '' julie said loyally . `` you 'll get no arguments there , '' damon said . `` not that i do n't love you , damon , but if you do n't mind , could you step out so i do n't flash you when i crawl out of bed to get dressed ? '' `` not that it would n't be worth it to stay , but i 'll slide on out and leave you girls to it . are you sure you do n't need any help ? `` serena can help me , and if i fall flat on my face , all i ask is that someone cover my bare ass before you call for the orderlies . '' damon chuckled as he walked to the door . `` i 'll be sure and do that . | [["damn", 11], ["damned", 11], ["nice", 16], ["friend", 32], ["friends", 32], ["people", 41], ["drop", 53], ["dropped", 53], ["thing", 60], ["things", 60], ["moment", 73], ["moments", 73], ["notice", 80], ["need", 119], ["needest", 119], ["go", 149], ["goest", 149], ["going", 149], ["get", 156], ["weepy", 166], ["must", 179], ["musts", 179], ["medication", 206], ["love", 221], ["water", 232], ["say", 246], ["sayest", 246], ["said", 246], ["around", 253], ["scratchy", 266], ["throat", 273], ["damon", 281], ["pull", 288], ["pulled", 288], ["paper", 305], ["cup", 310], ["cups", 310], ["canister", 326], ["sink", 338], ["sank", 338], ["pour", 349], ["poured", 349], ["half", 357], ["full", 362], ["go", 383], ["goest", 383], ["went", 383], ["opposite", 406], ["side", 411], ["sidest", 411], ["serena", 427], ["sat", 431], ["sit", 431], ["carefully", 445], ["slid", 450], ["free", 459], ["hand", 464], ["underneath", 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both adults turned toward david , who was lying in bed with a huge cast on his arm . he looked unusually pale with an unnatural stain of red across his cheeks . he was probably in pain and running a fever . you do n't tell me to- '' `` shut it , '' the kid said again , and his mother actually stopped talking . `` is lizzy okay ? '' david asked stone . she 'll be here shortly , and i was just checking to see if it would be okay if she came to visit you . and also , i wanted to thank you for saving her life . '' mrs. raab asked . she had obviously not been paying attention . david was something of a hero . `` your son saved my daughter 's life . when the sheriff started shooting , david kept his head and got the two of them out of the ark , where they were sitting ducks . i will be eternally grateful to your son . and i just wanted to let you know that i think you 've done a good job with him . he 's precisely the kind of boy i want my daughter to be friends with-the kind of kid who looks beyond labels . the kind of kid who knows right from wrong . `` also , you should know that lizzy 's heart will be broken if y'all move back to michigan . to be honest , i wish you would n't go . you living in our town gives everyone a chance to practice tolerance . and i ca n't help but think that if we 'd been better at it back in 1968 , nita wills might have followed her heart , and my granddaddy and jimmy and lee marshall might all still be alive . so before you start pointing fingers , just think about that . '' he nodded at the woman and turned toward david . and thanks for coming after us . if you had n't shown up , it might have been bad . and when you see ms. chaikin , would you thank her for me ? she probably saved my life when she threw those ashes . i guess we never got our interview with her about what it 's like being a war correspondent , but we sure did get a taste of what it takes to be one . to be honest , i was terrified . but she seemed to be impervious to it . '' stone felt a pang of regret . he 'd tried lark 's cell phone a dozen times , but she had n't answered . he needed to thank her , too . but he was afraid to see her . he forced himself to give david a smile . `` that 's the way it is , david . sometimes in a firefight you just have no time to think . instincts take over . and that 's where you find your courage . '' he left david 's room and went back to his own . daddy showed up shortly thereafter . david 's mother relented and let lizzy visit david for about five minutes . and then they all got in daddy 's truck and headed back to town . an unearthly shiver seized stone the minute they turned onto palmetto avenue and passed under santa and his reindeer . he tried to shake away the feeling but it crawled through him . cold and sort of ... itchy . and a thought came to him from out of the blue . `` i need to go to church , '' he said . the words surprised him almost as much as daddy . `` son , you 've had a head injury . i think i need to take you- '' before stone could come up with a good explanation for his request , haley piped up from the backseat . `` he 's only doing what the sorrowful angel wants him to do . she 's been talking to him the whole way home from the hospital , all about how she wants to go into the church . he saw her last night , but he 's not seeing her now . '' `` haley , why do you always have to make yourself and your stupid made-up angel the center of attention ? '' `` lizzy , '' elbert said sternly and gave liz his scary look in the rearview mirror . his pulse quickened with the idea . she stayed with you at the hospital . she always stays with you when you sleep , '' haley said . lizzy made a noise and rolled her eyes . stone ignored her . she really , really wants you to go to the church . she says that she misses it . '' `` well , that sounds exactly like her . '' lizzy sat up . daddy looked at him as if he 'd lost his mind , which was sort of ironic . and suddenly stone had a deep understanding of everything haley had been going through for the last year . he felt another flood of guilt . would he ever get over this feeling ? `` she was always nagging me about going to church , '' he said . you mean sharon , '' daddy said . `` not haley 's angel . '' stone did n't respond , and daddy did n't argue the point . | [["adult", 11], ["adults", 11], ["turn", 18], ["turned", 18], ["toward", 25], ["david", 31], ["davids", 31], ["lay", 47], ["lie", 47], ["lain", 47], ["lying", 47], ["bed", 54], ["huge", 66], ["cast", 71], ["casts", 71], ["arm", 82], ["look", 94], ["looked", 94], ["unusually", 104], ["pale", 109], ["unnatural", 127], ["stain", 133], ["stainest", 133], ["red", 140], ["across", 147], ["cheek", 158], ["cheeks", 158], ["probably", 176], ["pain", 184], ["run", 196], ["running", 196], ["fever", 204], ["tell", 222], ["shut", 240], ["kid", 256], ["say", 261], ["sayest", 261], ["said", 261], ["mother", 284], ["mothered", 284], ["motherest", 284], ["stop", 301], ["stopped", 301], ["talk", 309], ["talking", 309], ["lizzy", 323], ["okay", 328], ["ask", 345], ["asked", 345], ["stone", 351], ["stoning", 351], ["shortly", 377], ["check", 403], ["checking", 403], ["see", 410], ["come", 442], ["came", 442], ["visit", 451], ["also", 466], 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maybe melissa was right , erica thought as she and her sister toweled off and moved toward the locker room to get dressed . because really , why was she making it easier for christian to ignore her ? could be that what she should be doing was spending more time with him , not less . keep him so close that he would n't be able to pull away from her . after all , ignoring him had n't hurt him and had been driving her insane . so , she 'd turn the tables on him . take melissa 's advice and make him so miserable that he would n't be able to avoid her . and , since she 'd just spent the last three hours being buffed and polished and styled , today was the perfect day to set this new and much more interesting plan in motion . christian threw a rock into the river and watched it hit the water and sink . just how he felt , he thought . he 'd been carrying around a sinking feeling inside him for the last two weeks and it was only getting worse . being here at jarrod ridge had always given him a sense of satisfaction that he 'd found nowhere else . he 'd studied back east and had been eager to get back to colorado . he 'd traveled the world and never found another spot as beautiful as this one . there was an unsettled feeling inside him . and its name was erica prentice . hell , he could n't even enjoy standing alongside the river anymore . because he saw her here , now . she was everydamnwhere in aspen , and no matter how hard he tried , he could n't get away from her . `` well , '' a too familiar voice said from behind him , `` you look furious . '' he turned around to watch erica approach him . the sunlight was fading as twilight edged closer . she wore a short , lemon-yellow skirt that stopped midthigh and a pale green short-sleeved t-shirt that displayed her tanned , toned arms and clung to her narrow waist . her hair was soft and shining in the last of the light and her eyes were locked on his . `` so , '' she asked as she came nearer , `` did you want to be alone with your fury or can you stand some company ? '' `` alone , '' he ground out , because he knew if she came any closer , he would n't be able to stop himself from reaching for her . `` that 's a shame , because i prefer company , '' she said . she whipped her hair back from her face and continued down the slope , passing within inches of him as she walked to the water 's edge . `` what 're you doing here , erica ? '' she glanced back at him and shrugged . `` i came to look at the river . '' `` and you could only see the river from here . this one spot . on the whole resort . '' `` i like this spot . '' his hands fisted at his sides and he deliberately relaxed them , taking a long , deep breath into his lungs at the same time . unfortunately , that only brought him a whiff of her scent , which made his insides tighten into knots . she smelled like peaches and flowers and all things soft and beautiful . `` enjoy the view . `` okay , so will i . '' she turned and headed back toward him . he demanded when she stood right in front of him . she shook her head and looked up into his eyes . `` i 'm done playing , christian . i 'm here because i want you and you want me . '' his teeth ground together and he hissed in a breath , hoping to find some equilibrium . she lifted both hands to his shirt front and smoothed her palms over his chest . his body went from hard to aching in under a second . he caught her hands in his and stilled them . then he stared into her eyes and whispered , `` why are you doing this ? '' `` because you wo n't , '' she said and went up on her toes to slant her mouth over his . once , twice , a soft brush of her lips to his and christian felt the heat of her rush through him . he knew he was a dead man . could n't have turned away now if someone had a gun to his head . she was everything he wanted , needed . all he cared about . it did n't matter if he would regret this later or not . or , if being with her would only make the situation between them harder . for now , he was lost . he grabbed her then , as if half-afraid she might disappear on him if he did n't hold on to her tightly . pulling her up close to him , he took her mouth with a desperation he 'd felt clawing at him for days . again and again , his tongue delved deep , claiming her in a mimicry of what his body wanted to be doing to hers . in and out , he dazzled , he took , he gave , his heartbeat racing , his blood pumping , he gave himself over to the demands of his body , clamoring to meet her demands . 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beth ann walked to the shelf of nail polishes and picked up a bottle of pale pink , then began to shake it . the blonde paused in her nail-polish shaking . `` you 're asking my opinion ? risa twisted her hands . `` you do n't think this is dangerously close to ... you know ... hooking ? '' beth ann laughed . `` did he offer you thirty grand to sleep with him ? '' but i 'm going to sleep with him anyhow . '' `` then it 's not hooking , '' she said bluntly . `` it 's a case of him being really hot and needing a service you provide . do n't look at it like hooking . look at it like , i do n't know . pig nannying . '' risa gave a skeptical snort . `` that 's a damn expensive nanny . '' `` hey , if you want a specialist , sometimes you have to fork out a little more than you 'd expect . '' beth ann 's eyes twinkled with amusement . `` it sounds good to me , honey . thirty grand would set you on your feet when you go to dallas . in the meantime , you can have your cake and eat it , too . '' with that , risa began to feel better . `` so you do n't think i 'm selling myself too cheap ? '' with a mischievous grin , beth ann picked up a nail file and then risa 's hand . `` you tell that handsome , rich man that you know the best hairdresser in town , and she 's willing to be bought , too . '' risa laughed . * * * the drive to houston was more uneventful than risa had expected . gregory was n't a good traveler-though the pig was good natured and easygoing most of the time , he did n't like being inside a car . he squealed with fright and huddled at risa 's feet for the entire drive , and the driver cast her annoyed looks in the rearview mirror time and time again as she tried in vain to calm the pig down . travis had n't said a thing , though . he 'd been on his blackberry the entire time . surely one man could n't have that much work , could he ? he had people he could delegate to . he could at least chat with her , make her feel a bit easier about her decision . he 'd only laid a possessive hand on her knee and continued to text and answer e-mails with his other hand , and they drove to houston in silence . well , except for the squeals of the pig . when they 'd hit the outskirts of houston , she began wondering what area of town travis lived in . when they headed downtown , her stomach began to sink . as they headed into the arts district and pulled up to the door of a large , posh apartment building , her stomach twisted into a knot . this building was ... ridiculous . it was clearly a high-rise intended to cater to the houston elite . there was even a doorman who rushed forward to get the car door for her . he paused at the sight of gregory , but recovered quickly , gesturing for her to exit the car . she did so , biting her lip and holding gregory 's leash tightly . a moment later , travis was at her side . `` are you sure this place takes pets ? '' she asked in a worried voice , staring at the sculpted bushes in front of the glass doors . `` they will , '' travis said , putting a hand at her back to lead her forward . but risa could n't fight her misgivings . when gregory 's little hooves clacked against the marble floors as they moved through the lobby , she winced . when people passed by and gave them frowning stares , she quailed a bit internally . she glanced over at travis , but he was still occupied with his blackberry , even as his hand on her back steered her toward the elevator . they went up to the top floor , and at the door at the end of the hall , travis pulled out a key card and ran it through . the door opened with an electronic beep , and he gestured for her to follow him in . his apartment looked like a showplace , and the nervousness in her stomach grew . cherry hardwood floors gleamed under a white throw rug . his couches were white leather , the coffee table a delicate glass confection . the far wall was entirely windows , showcasing the houston skyline . expensive abstract art hung from the walls . the place looked as if it had never seen a fingerprint or a smudge or a speck of dirt . and here she 'd brought in a pig . and while gregory was clean , he , like any other animal , had a litter box . and he was bound to spill something at some point . heck , she was bound to spill something . | [["beth", 4], ["ann", 8], ["walk", 15], ["walked", 15], ["shelf", 28], ["nail", 36], ["polish", 45], ["polished", 45], ["polishes", 45], ["pick", 56], ["picked", 56], ["bottle", 68], ["bottled", 68], ["pale", 76], ["pink", 81], ["begin", 94], ["began", 94], ["shake", 103], ["blonde", 119], ["pause", 126], ["paused", 126], ["polish", 145], ["polished", 145], ["shaking", 153], ["ask", 173], ["asking", 173], ["opinion", 184], ["twist", 199], ["twisted", 199], ["twisting", 199], ["hand", 209], ["hands", 209], ["think", 231], ["thinkest", 231], ["dangerously", 251], ["close", 257], ["know", 273], ["knowest", 273], ["hook", 285], ["laugh", 307], ["laughed", 307], ["offer", 325], ["thirty", 336], ["grand", 342], ["slept", 351], ["sleep", 351], ["sleeps", 351], ["sleepest", 351], ["go", 380], ["goest", 380], ["going", 380], ["anyhow", 405], ["say", 450], ["sayest", 450], ["said", 450], ["bluntly", 458], ["case", 476], ["really", 496], ["hot", 500], ["need", 512], ["needest", 512], ["needing", 512], ["service", 522], ["servicing", 522], ["provide", 534], ["look", 548], ["like", 559], ["pig", 607], ["pigged", 607], ["pigging", 607], ["give", 631], ["gave", 631], ["skeptical", 643], ["snort", 649], ["snortest", 649], ["damn", 669], ["damned", 669], ["expensive", 679], ["nanny", 685], ["hey", 697], ["specialist", 724], ["fork", 753], ["little", 766], ["expect", 790], ["eye", 812], ["eyed", 812], ["eyes", 812], ["twinkle", 821], ["twinkled", 821], ["amusement", 836], ["sound", 851], ["sounds", 851], ["good", 856], ["honey", 870], ["honeys", 870], ["set", 895], ["foot", 912], ["feet", 912], ["go", 924], ["goest", 924], ["meantime", 952], ["cake", 977], ["eat", 985], ["feel", 1030], ["well", 1037], ["wells", 1037], ["sell", 1075], ["sells", 1075], ["selling", 1075], ["cheap", 1092], ["mischievous", 1116], ["grin", 1121], ["file", 1154], ["hand", 1176], ["tell", 1190], ["handsome", 1204], ["handsomes", 1204], ["rich", 1211], ["man", 1215], ["mans", 1215], ["manned", 1215], ["good", 1238], ["best", 1238], ["hairdresser", 1250], ["town", 1258], ["willing", 1279], ["buy", 1292], ["buyed", 1292], ["bought", 1292], ["drive", 1334], ["houston", 1345], ["uneventful", 1365], ["expect", 1388], ["expected", 1388], ["gregory", 1398], ["traveler", 1422], ["though", 1429], ["natured", 1454], ["time", 1485], ["inside", 1516], ["car", 1522], ["squeal", 1536], ["squealed", 1536], ["fright", 1548], ["huddle", 1560], ["huddled", 1560], ["entire", 1591], ["driver", 1614], ["cast", 1619], ["casts", 1619], ["look", 1637], ["looks", 1637], ["rearview", 1653], ["mirror", 1660], ["try", 1693], ["tryed", 1693], ["tried", 1693], ["vain", 1701], ["calm", 1709], ["calms", 1709], ["thing", 1752], ["blackberry", 1792], ["blackberried", 1792], ["surely", 1817], ["much", 1850], ["work", 1855], ["wrought", 1855], ["people", 1882], ["delegate", 1900], ["least", 1923], ["leastest", 1923], ["chat", 1928], ["chating", 1928], ["bit", 1959], ["bits", 1959], ["easy", 1966], ["easier", 1966], ["decision", 1985], ["lay", 2003], ["lays", 2003], ["layed", 2003], ["layest", 2003], ["laid", 2003], ["possessive", 2016], ["knee", 2033], ["continue", 2047], ["continued", 2047], ["text", 2055], ["answer", 2066], ["answeres", 2066], ["answerest", 2066], ["e", 2068], ["ing", 2068], ["eest", 2068], ["mail", 2074], ["mails", 2074], ["drive", 2111], ["drove", 2111], ["silence", 2133], ["well", 2140], ["wells", 2140], ["except", 2149], ["squeal", 2165], ["squeals", 2165], ["hit", 2195], ["outskirt", 2209], ["outskirts", 2209], ["wonder", 2242], ["wonderest", 2242], ["wondering", 2242], ["area", 2252], ["live", 2273], ["lived", 2273], ["head", 2295], ["headed", 2295], ["downtown", 2304], ["downtowns", 2304], ["stomach", 2318], ["stomachs", 2318], ["stomaching", 2318], ["sink", 2332], ["sank", 2332], ["art", 2363], ["arts", 2363], ["district", 2372], ["pull", 2383], ["pulled", 2383], ["door", 2398], ["large", 2409], ["posh", 2416], ["apartment", 2426], ["build", 2435], ["building", 2435], ["knot", 2469], ["knotted", 2469], ["ridiculous", 2504], ["clearly", 2521], ["high", 2528], ["rise", 2533], ["risen", 2533], ["intend", 2542], ["intendest", 2542], ["intended", 2542], ["cater", 2551], ["elite", 2572], ["even", 2589], ["evens", 2589], ["doorman", 2599], ["rush", 2610], ["rushed", 2610], ["forward", 2618], ["forwardest", 2618], ["forwarding", 2618], ["get", 2625], ["sight", 2671], ["sighted", 2671], ["recover", 2698], ["recovered", 2698], ["quickly", 2706], ["gesture", 2718], ["gesturing", 2718], ["exit", 2734], ["exited", 2734], ["biting", 2764], ["lip", 2772], ["lipped", 2772], ["hold", 2784], ["holding", 2784], ["leash", 2801], ["tightly", 2809], ["moment", 2820], ["later", 2826], ["side", 2851], ["sidest", 2851], ["sure", 2869], ["place", 2880], ["take", 2886], ["takes", 2886], ["pet", 2891], ["petting", 2891], ["pets", 2891], ["ask", 2906], ["asked", 2906], ["voice", 2925], ["stare", 2935], ["stared", 2935], ["staring", 2935], ["bush", 2958], ["bushed", 2958], ["bushes", 2958], ["front", 2967], ["glass", 2980], ["door", 2986], ["doors", 2986], ["put", 3028], ["putting", 3028], ["back", 3047], ["lead", 3055], ["leaded", 3055], ["fight", 3094], ["fightest", 3094], ["misgiving", 3109], ["misgivings", 3109], ["hoof", 3141], ["hoofs", 3141], ["hooves", 3141], ["clack", 3149], ["clacked", 3149], ["marble", 3168], ["floor", 3175], ["floors", 3175], ["move", 3189], ["moved", 3189], ["lobby", 3207], ["lobbied", 3207], ["wince", 3220], ["winced", 3220], ["pass", 3241], ["passed", 3241], ["frown", 3267], ["frowns", 3267], ["stare", 3274], ["stared", 3274], ["stares", 3274], ["quail", 3288], ["quails", 3288], ["quailed", 3288], ["quailing", 3288], ["internally", 3305], ["glance", 3319], ["glanced", 3319], ["still", 3353], ["occupy", 3362], ["occupied", 3362], ["steer", 3421], ["steerest", 3421], ["steered", 3421], ["toward", 3432], ["elevator", 3445], ["go", 3457], ["goest", 3457], ["went", 3457], ["top", 3471], ["floor", 3477], ["end", 3506], ["ends", 3506], ["endest", 3506], ["hall", 3518], ["key", 3544], ["keyed", 3544], ["keyest", 3544], ["card", 3549], ["run", 3557], ["ran", 3557], ["open", 3586], ["opened", 3586], ["electronic", 3605], ["beep", 3610], ["beeps", 3610], ["gesture", 3628], ["gestured", 3628], ["follow", 3646], ["look", 3676], ["looked", 3676], ["showplace", 3693], ["nervousness", 3715], ["grow", 3735], ["growest", 3735], ["grew", 3735], ["cherry", 3744], ["hardwood", 3753], ["hardwoods", 3753], ["gleam", 3768], ["gleams", 3768], ["gleamed", 3768], ["gleamest", 3768], ["white", 3782], ["throw", 3788], ["rug", 3792], ["couch", 3806], ["couchest", 3806], ["couches", 3806], ["leather", 3825], ["coffee", 3838], ["table", 3844], ["tabled", 3844], ["tabling", 3844], ["delicate", 3855], ["confection", 3872], ["far", 3882], ["wall", 3887], ["entirely", 3900], ["window", 3908], ["windows", 3908], ["showcase", 3921], ["showcasing", 3921], ["skyline", 3941], ["skylines", 3941], ["abstract", 3962], ["art", 3966], ["hung", 3971], ["hang", 3971], ["hangs", 3971], ["wall", 3986], ["walls", 3986], ["never", 4024], ["see", 4029], ["seen", 4029], ["fingerprint", 4043], ["smudge", 4055], ["speck", 4066], ["dirt", 4074], ["bring", 4100], ["brought", 4100], ["clean", 4139], ["cleans", 4139], ["animal", 4168], ["litter", 4183], ["box", 4187], ["boxed", 4187], ["bind", 4206], ["bound", 4206], ["spilt", 4215], ["spill", 4215], ["spilling", 4215], ["point", 4239], ["heck", 4246]] |
as she lay there in the dim winter morning light , the events of the night before replayed in her mind , over and over again . micahs return into her life was an unexpected wrench . she needed some downtime to process it . plus , she didnt want to risk running into matthias again . she liked him as a friend only , and she felt badly that shed let him believe there was a chance for something else . next time she saw him , shed have to tell him how she felt . she hoped their friendship would survive . her heart couldnt bear losing another person she cared about so dearly . her cell phone rang on the side of her bed , and she groaned . she wasnt up to speaking to anyone , especially micah or matthias . she picked it up , expecting to see one of their names on the screen , but instead it was her lawyers name , tanya fullermann . katja stoltz , katja answered . hello , katja . its tanya fullermann . i have news you may not be happy to hear . horst has been released on probation . blackness closed in on the edges of katjas eyes , and she pinched them tight . your restraining order against him is still in effect , but i wanted to make sure you knew he was back on the streets . katja sprung out of bed , whisking to the front door to make sure it was locked . sibylle was watching television while eating breakfast . a startled look crossed her face . uh , nothing , just checking the door . she heard gisela banging around in the kitchen , and she slipped in to tell her the news , keeping her voice low . giselas hand reached for her throat . theres nothing we can do , except use extra caution . we cant let sibylle out alone . gisela nodded , but katja knew she was concerned . sibylle would turn twelve soon . they couldnt keep her under lock and key forever . or at least , she should have a life . she needed friends and hobbies that took her beyond home and school . she wouldnt put up with katja escorting her everywhere for much longer . she shared her concerns with henni later that day when she dropped by for a visit . ill help watch her , she said . her hair streaks were pink now . sorry i missed your show last night , she added . i heard simone pellar was really good . you heard how simones set went , but not mine ? well , actually , i heard yours was amazing and that you did some crazy powerful song at the end , but i wanted to hear it from you . micah showed up last night . the micah ? henni poked her in the ribs . and , i sang the song i wrote the night he left me . then i left with matthias . oh , katja . henni pulled her into a hug . the fact that you feel awful about what you did just proves youre not an awful person . besides , he deserved it . katja pulled free and pressed fingers against her eyes . yeah , he did , but now its over , and i dont feel any better . it takes time , henni said with a knowing look . katja threw all her pent-up energy into work the next day . the physical act of viciously scrubbing dishes didnt calm her raging emotions at all . micah was here in berlin , messing with her mind . if she didnt have her mother and sister to worry about shed just catch the next train to wherever . but she did have them . how long would she be washing dishes and scrubbing floors ? red and chapped , they looked like they belonged to an old lady . shed taken to chewing her nails lately to relieve stress . thick calluses had formed on the tips of her fingers again from playing guitar . at least the dishes were done . she just needed to do the floor and then she could go . hopefully , shed be gone before matthias showed up . she just didnt have the energy to deal with him right now . she grabbed the blade and got down on her hands and knees to scrape the floor . she was halfway done when she heard a male voice call her name . it wasnt matthiass voice . she froze on the spot . she didnt want him to see her like this : sweaty and grimy , dressed in scrubs , on her hands and knees . she turned , and micah was standing in the doorway , looking like a model , wearing clean , name brand jeans and a crisp shirt . a shocked expression crossed his gorgeous , clean-shaven face . she couldnt feel more humiliated . she mustered i thought id drop in for coffee . she flung her hand . you missed the caf by about two meters . i thought you worked there . no , i work in the bakery , back here . she wished the floor shed been scraping would just open up and swallow her . should i wait for you ? i really should go home . i need to shower her phone buzzed in her pocket . she dug it out and answered it . | [["lay", 10], ["lie", 10], ["lain", 10], ["dim", 27], ["dimmed", 27], ["winter", 34], ["morning", 42], ["lit", 48], ["light", 48], ["event", 61], ["events", 61], ["night", 74], ["replay", 90], ["replays", 90], ["mind", 102], ["minding", 102], ["return", 140], ["returnest", 140], ["life", 154], ["lifes", 154], ["unexpected", 172], ["wrench", 179], ["need", 192], ["needest", 192], ["needed", 192], ["downtime", 206], ["process", 217], ["plus", 227], ["risk", 252], ["riskest", 252], ["run", 260], ["running", 260], ["matthias", 274], ["like", 292], ["liked", 292], ["friend", 308], ["feel", 328], ["felt", 328], ["badly", 334], ["shed", 344], ["let", 348], ["lets", 348], ["believe", 360], ["chance", 379], ["chanced", 379], ["chancing", 379], ["else", 398], ["next", 405], ["time", 410], ["see", 418], ["saw", 418], ["tell", 442], ["hope", 471], ["hoped", 471], ["friendship", 488], ["survive", 502], ["heart", 514], ["bore", 527], ["bear", 527], ["bearest", 527], ["lose", 534], ["losing", 534], ["another", 542], ["person", 549], ["care", 559], ["cared", 559], ["dearly", 575], ["cell", 586], ["phone", 592], ["side", 609], ["sidest", 609], ["bed", 620], ["groan", 638], ["groans", 638], ["groanest", 638], ["groaning", 638], ["groaned", 638], ["speak", 665], ["spoken", 665], ["speaking", 665], ["anyone", 675], ["especially", 688], ["micah", 694], ["pick", 719], ["picked", 719], ["expect", 737], ["expecting", 737], ["see", 744], ["name", 763], ["names", 763], ["screen", 777], ["screening", 777], ["instead", 791], ["lawyer", 810], ["lawyers", 810], ["name", 815], ["tanya", 823], ["answer", 866], ["answeres", 866], ["answerest", 866], ["answered", 866], ["hello", 874], ["hellos", 874], ["news", 919], ["newses", 919], ["may", 927], ["mays", 927], ["mayest", 927], ["happy", 940], ["hear", 948], ["hears", 948], ["horst", 956], ["release", 974], ["released", 974], ["probation", 987], ["blackness", 999], ["close", 1006], ["closed", 1006], ["edge", 1022], ["edges", 1022], ["eye", 1037], ["eyed", 1037], ["eyes", 1037], ["pinch", 1055], ["pinched", 1055], ["tight", 1066], ["restrain", 1085], ["restrains", 1085], ["restraining", 1085], ["order", 1091], ["orderest", 1091], ["still", 1112], ["effect", 1122], ["sure", 1150], ["know", 1159], ["knowest", 1159], ["knew", 1159], ["back", 1171], ["street", 1186], ["streets", 1186], ["sprang", 1201], ["sprung", 1201], ["spring", 1201], ["whisk", 1223], ["whisks", 1223], 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1718], ["soon", 1723], ["keep", 1743], ["keepest", 1743], ["lock", 1758], ["key", 1766], ["keyed", 1766], ["keyest", 1766], ["forever", 1774], ["least", 1788], ["leastest", 1788], ["friend", 1834], ["friends", 1834], ["hobby", 1846], ["hobbies", 1846], ["take", 1856], ["took", 1856], ["beyond", 1867], ["home", 1872], ["homing", 1872], ["school", 1883], ["schooling", 1883], ["put", 1901], ["escort", 1925], ["escorted", 1925], ["escorting", 1925], ["everywhere", 1940], ["much", 1949], ["long", 1956], ["longs", 1956], ["share", 1969], ["shared", 1969], ["concern", 1982], ["concerned", 1982], ["concernest", 1982], ["concerns", 1982], ["later", 1999], ["day", 2008], ["drop", 2025], ["dropped", 2025], ["visit", 2040], ["ill", 2046], ["ills", 2046], ["illest", 2046], ["help", 2051], ["helpest", 2051], ["watch", 2057], ["say", 2072], ["sayest", 2072], ["said", 2072], ["hair", 2083], ["streak", 2091], ["streaks", 2091], ["streaked", 2091], ["pink", 2101], ["sorry", 2113], ["miss", 2122], 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["nails", 3339], ["lately", 3346], ["relieve", 3357], ["relieved", 3357], ["stress", 3364], ["thick", 3372], ["thickest", 3372], ["callus", 3381], ["calluses", 3381], ["form", 3392], ["formest", 3392], ["formed", 3392], ["tip", 3404], ["tips", 3404], ["play", 3438], ["playest", 3438], ["playing", 3438], ["guitar", 3445], ["floor", 3511], ["go", 3533], ["goest", 3533], ["hopefully", 3545], ["go", 3560], ["goest", 3560], ["gone", 3560], ["deal", 3627], ["right", 3642], ["rightest", 3642], ["grab", 3660], ["grabbed", 3660], ["blade", 3670], ["get", 3678], ["got", 3678], ["hand", 3696], ["hands", 3696], ["knee", 3706], ["knees", 3706], ["scrape", 3716], ["halfway", 3744], ["halfways", 3744], ["male", 3771], ["males", 3771], ["call", 3782], ["froze", 3830], ["frozen", 3830], ["freeze", 3830], ["freezing", 3830], ["spot", 3842], ["sweaty", 3893], ["grimy", 3903], ["dress", 3913], ["dressest", 3913], ["dressed", 3913], ["scrub", 3923], ["scrubs", 3923], ["turn", 3961], ["turned", 3961], 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he was trying to maintain some distance from her but the second he 'd spotted her in the figure hugging gown , his groin had jumped to life and he 'd known he was far better off to avoid her for a while . he certainly approved of whatever the girls had been up to the night before . he half listened to what his companions were talking about . he nodded where he was supposed to and uttered a comment here and there but his eyes never left nicole . he felt his lips tilt , as he noticed her flick her eyes around the room guiltily , then fill her plate to overflowing . if he had any doubts she was n't one of the high society women normally at the parties her full plate would 've clued him in . he was thinking he was going to play a game with her that night . why not start from scratch and pretend to be strangers ? he could romance her and add some mystery to their relationship . nothing else seemed to be working to keep her mind off her worries , so why not spice things up , he thought . he was getting more excited by the moment , imagining how things were going to end that night . ryan watched as she glanced around again and seemed to sigh a bit as she did n't think anyone was watching her . he could n't believe he 'd almost refused to come to the masquerade . his mood lightened up considerably . as he looked around he noticed all the women wearing their usual skimpy designer dresses and ostentatious jewelry . even though it was a masquerade and everyone was supposed to disguise themselves , the women wanted to be noticed and most held masques on sticks , so they could move them aside . he was personally wearing a zorro mask but it had n't taken the barracuda women long to figure out who he was and they were swarming him . they would be shocked to find who he chose to take home with him . most of the people in the room knew nothing of his past . `` ryan , you did n't hear a word i just said , '' the grating voice of the current female trying to hold his attention said to him . she 'd been giving him signals for months she was readily available and looking for her next husband to keep her in the lifestyle she was so accustomed . he had n't wanted to be rude to her but he had a feeling he was going to have to spell it out in black and white , he was n't interested . `` i 'm sorry , my mind was on business , '' he easily lied , soothing her feelings . she gave her best fake smile and rubbed her barely covered br**sts up against his arm . he felt nothing from the touch . `` i 'm sorry to leave you ladies but i 'm going for a bite to eat , then i have business to discuss with tom , '' he said , as he pulled away from the group . `` you know how to find us when you 're ready to play instead of talk business , '' another woman pouted at him . he needed to make it known soon he was no longer available , although he knew that would n't stop most of the women he was used to dealing with . he walked away and forgot all about them as soon as he left . he kept his eyes on nicole , feeling a clenching in his gut , as he tried to figure out what she was thinking of the party . he knew it was so far removed from her normal life she was most likely uncomfortable . he was stopped several times on his way over towards her and had to fight to not growl at the continued interruptions . he wanted to get to her before she decided to slip away . he would n't be able to play out his game if she were to run away and change . after all it was a masquerade ; the night was about secrets and romance . he ignored the next couple of people who tried to stop him and made a beeline toward nicole . damn , she was so unlike the stick figure women surrounding him . she had on a fitted black dress , showing off her luscious h*ps and impressive br**sts to perfection . her stomach was flat and her legs seemed to go on forever . she was wearing a pair of high heels that only enhanced those gorgeous legs . he would definitely make sure his cousin 's spouses took her out shopping more often , since he greatly liked the affect . he wanted to see her dark hair released from the bun it was currently tied in . he wanted to rip the mask off her features and see her flawless skin but then the mystery of the game would fade away . he asked her from behind , as he finally made his way to her darkened corner . he had to fight the smile as her entire body stiffened for a moment as she slowly turned to face him . he felt another clench in his gut as she looked at him with her incredible blue eyes enhanced by make-up to look even more exotic than ever before . the part of her face he could see was stunning , as usual . nicole looked at ryan and forgot how to speak for a moment . he was seriously the sexiest guy she 'd ever encountered before , even with the mask , or maybe because of it . | [["try", 13], ["tryed", 13], ["trying", 13], ["maintain", 25], ["maintains", 25], ["maintainest", 25], ["distance", 39], ["distancing", 39], ["second", 63], ["seconded", 63], 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the stars overhead joined with a bright moon and set the goalposts aglow . zach finally stopped . `` why did you try to kiss me ? '' it was stupid ... '' she sighed and looked up , immediately wishing she had n't . `` what if i wanted you to ? '' `` do n't mess with me , zach , '' she said . she knew his reputation . he probably said things like this all the time . he went through girlfriends like she went through lip gloss . `` can i kiss you , lex ? '' in her mind , she said no , but when zach looked down at her , she shook her head , unable to find her voice . `` if you 're going to stop me , '' he said , pulling her close , `` this would be the time . '' and then he was kissing her and she was falling and flying , twisting into someone else , something else . when he finally drew back , he looked as pale and shaky as she felt , and she was glad of that , because she was crying . what an idiot ... `` did i do something wrong ? '' lexi heard mia 's voice and she lurched away from zach , wiping the stupid tears from her eyes . mia ran up to them . `` they 're crowning the homecoming king and queen . you better get in there . '' `` i do n't give a shit about that . i 'm talking to lexi- '' `` go , '' mia said . zach looked at lexi again , frowning ; then he walked off , headed for the gymnasium . `` what were you two doing out here ? '' lexi started walking toward the gym . she did n't dare look at her best friend . `` he wanted to tell me something about the game tonight . '' i do n't know jack about football . '' another lie to her best friend . who was she becoming ? it was the last time that night she and zach were alone together until he walked her up to the front door of the mobile home , and even then , mia was in the car , watching them . at her door , lexi had no idea what to say to him . everything felt off balance ; she was like some prey animal , frozen with fear , her senses acute . the kiss had rocked her world , but had it even made a ripple in his ? he stared down at her , his golden hair turned silver by the moonlight . she wanted to scream say something but managed only a shaky smile . `` thanks for letting me be your sympathy date , zach . '' `` curfew , '' mia yelled from the car . `` mom will have a cow if we 're late . '' zach leaned down , kissed lexi 's cheek . it took all her effort not to respond , not to put her arms around him , but she just stood there , feeling his lips on her skin like a branding iron . she stood there a long time , long after they 'd left . then , finally , she went into her house and turned off the lights . * * * lexi did n't go to school on monday . how could she face either zach or mia after what had happened ? by monday night , though ( and he had n't called , of course he had n't , why would she think he would ? ) , eva had threatened to make a doctor 's appointment-something they definitely could n't afford . so , on tuesday , lexi went back to school . out at the bus stop , she huddled under the narrow shelter 's overhang , watching rain turn the world into a blue and green kaleidoscope . she would just be cool . she 'd smile casually at zach and keep walking , as if the kiss meant nothing . it had just been a kiss from a boy who kissed girls all the time . lexi could n't let it mean anything to her . at school , she easily avoided zach-they hardly moved in the same social circles-but there was no way to avoid mia . their lives were too braided together . after the last bell , mia walked lexi to work . all the way downtown , lexi kept a smile on her face as she listened to mia 's dance play-by-play . but the word liar screamed through her mind over and over , and every time she looked at her best friend , she felt sick to her stomach . lexi stopped in front of amore , where a sweet , vanilla-scented air enveloped them . she meant to just say later and go inside , but instead she paused . `` at first i thought his tongue was kinda slippery and gross , but i got used to it . '' mia looked confused , then nervous . `` should i have cried ? '' `` what do i know about kissing ? '' mia frowned at lexi . did something happen at the dance ? '' `` wh-what could have happened ? '' something with zach , maybe ? '' | [["star", 9], ["starred", 9], ["stars", 9], ["overhead", 18], ["join", 25], ["joinest", 25], ["joined", 25], ["bright", 39], ["brights", 39], ["moon", 44], ["moons", 44], ["set", 52], ["goalpost", 66], ["goalposts", 66], ["aglow", 72], ["zach", 79], ["finally", 87], ["stop", 95], ["stopped", 95], ["try", 116], ["tryed", 116], ["kiss", 124], ["kisses", 124], ["kissest", 124], ["stupid", 146], ["sigh", 164], ["sighest", 164], ["sighed", 164], ["look", 175], ["looked", 175], ["immediately", 192], ["wish", 200], ["wishing", 200], ["mess", 261], ["messed", 261], ["messing", 261], ["say", 290], ["sayest", 290], ["said", 290], ["know", 301], ["knowest", 301], ["knew", 301], ["reputation", 316], ["probably", 330], ["thing", 342], ["things", 342], ["like", 347], ["time", 365], ["go", 375], ["goest", 375], ["went", 375], ["girlfriend", 395], ["girlfriends", 395], ["lip", 421], ["lipped", 421], ["gloss", 427], ["lex", 453], ["mind", 470], ["minding", 470], ["shake", 531], ["shook", 531], 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everyone will think me a complete cad , though the fault lies not with me but entirely with you . '' `` i am sorry , my lord , i did not- '' `` sorry ? the devil you 're sorry , though i shall make bloody certain that you are indeed quite sorry by the time i 'm through . i will not marry you . '' `` indeed you will , my boy , '' lord moorland stated as he walked up to them with alexandra and another gentleman at his side . `` i do n't believe you 've met my other son , ryan . '' `` mr. summersby , '' the younger man corrected as he stared lucy up and down . he was the tallest of lord moorland 's three children , and while he was certainly as handsome as his brother , he almost looked angrier , if such a thing was possible . lucy shuddered , knowing that she 'd crossed a family that was not to be trifled with . `` papa , you can not possibly be serious . we can still find a means by which to call this disaster off . '' `` and how exactly do you plan to do that without making things worse ? as it is , lady annabelle will no longer have you , of that you can be quite certain . '' lord summersby raked his fingers furiously through his hair . `` none that i can see , '' his father told him . `` and since that is the case , we have come here to congratulate you instead . '' lord summersby groaned . lucy , who stood beside him , was doing her best to avoid eye contact with any of them . she knew she 'd done an abominable thing , but marrying lord summersby was necessary . she could n't very well travel to constantinople on her own , much less with a man she was n't related to , without bringing scandal upon lady ridgewood . besides , he needed a wife . he 'd said so himself , and since he did n't much care for lady annabelle anyway , then what harm was there in him marrying someone else ? her , to be precise . `` i must say that you surprised us all , '' alexandra stated . looking up , lucy noted the hard glare in her eyes , accusing her with the swift precision of an executioner 's sword . mr. summersby 's expression had not grown any less severe . `` well then , '' lord moorland said . `` why do n't you join us for tea tomorrow afternoon , miss blackwell . i am quite sure that we would all like to become better acquainted with you . as for the wedding arrangements-i 'm certain that my sister will be more than happy to oblige . '' with a quick succession of bows and curtsies , the summersbys took their leave of lucy , leaving her alone on the terrace , a little closer to her goal , but perhaps more miserable than she 'd been in a very long time . chapter three having strategically placed himself by the window , william stared out of it in a deliberate attempt to feign disinterest in the woman seated on the sofa next to his sister . he knew he was being extraordinarily rude , but he could n't seem to help himself . the lovely redhead had just deprived him of his freedom , and part of him wanted to lash out at her for the audacity . `` i understand from my daughter that this is your first season in london ? '' he heard his father say from the other side of the room . `` yes , my lord , '' miss blackwell responded , her voice a little shaky . `` when i turned eighteen , lady ridgewood thought it time for me to venture out into society . '' only eighteen and yet so conniving ? william thought as he groaned . `` william , '' his father said in a tone suggestive of his growing impatience with him , `` wo n't you join us ? '' knowing better than to argue , william turned his head and , seeing the dark glare in his father 's eyes , decided it might be best to comply . still , he saw no reason to pretend that he was pleased about doing so . with a shrug of his shoulders , he walked across to the nearest armchair , sat down , and crossed his arms and legs . he made a point of staring directly at miss blackwell as he said this , hoping she would catch the double entendre . with her teacup rattling against its saucer , she hastily looked away . let her suffer a little discomfort for her arrogance . his sister , brother , and father all stared back at him with open mouths , apparently stunned by his lack of manners . did they really expect him to be pleasant , given the situation at hand ? he could understand his father , for he certainly seemed to have fallen under miss blackwell 's spell , but considering that alex and ryan had happily criticized miss blackwell the night before , he would have thought they 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`` i have received word summoning me to wilmington , '' he said to them without preamble . `` i go to join the militias there , and i will take with me such men as will come willingly . '' they gaped at him like sheep disturbed at grazing . he had a moment 's unsettling impulse to laugh , but it passed at once . `` we will go as militia , but i do not command your service . '' privately , he doubted that he could command more than a handful of them now , but as well to put a good face on it . most were still blinking at him , but one or two had got a grip on themselves . `` you declare yourself a rebel , mac dubh ? '' that was murdo , bless him . loyal as a dog , but slow of thought . he needed things to be put in the simplest of terms , but once grasped , he would deal with them tenaciously . `` aye , murdo , i do . i am a rebel . so will any man be who marches with me . '' that caused a fair degree of murmuring , glances of doubt . here and there in the crowd , he heard the word `` oath , '' and steeled himself for the obvious question . he was taken aback by the man who asked it , though . arch bug drew himself up , tall and stern . `` ye swore an oath to the king , seaumais mac brian , '' he said , his voice unexpectedly sharp . there was a murmur of agreement at this , and faces turned to him , frowning , uneasy . he took a deep breath , and felt his stomach knot . even now , knowing what he knew , and knowing too the immorality of a forced oath , to break his sworn word openly made him feel that he had stepped on a step that was n't there . `` so did we all , '' he agreed . `` but it was an oath forced upon us as captives , not one given as men of honor . '' this was patently true ; still , it was an oath , and highlanders did not take any oath lightly . may i die and be buried far from my kin ... oath or no , he thought grimly , that fate would likely be theirs . `` but an oath nonetheless , sir , '' said hiram crombie , lips drawn tight . `` we have sworn before god . do you ask us to put aside such a thing ? '' several of the presbyterians murmured acquiescence , drawing closer to crombie in show of support . he took another deep breath , feeling his belly tighten . `` i ask nothing . '' and knowing full well what he did , despising himself in a way for doing it-he fell back upon the ancient weapons of rhetoric and idealism . `` i said that the oath of loyalty to the king was an oath extorted , not given . such an oath is without power , for no man swears freely , save he is free himself . '' no one shouted disagreement , so he went on , voice pitched to carry , but not shouting . `` ye 'll ken the declaration of arbroath , will ye ? four hundred years since , it was our sires , our grandsires , who put their hands to these words : ... for as long as but a hundred of us remain alive , never will we on any conditions be brought under english rule . '' he stopped to steady his voice , then went on . `` it is in truth not for glory , nor riches , nor honours that we are fighting , but for freedom-for that alone , which no honest man gives up but with life itself . '' he stopped dead then . not for its effect on the men to whom he spoke , but because of the words themselves-for in speaking them , he had found himself unexpectedly face to face with his own conscience . to this point , he had been dubious about the justifications of the revolution , and more so of its ends ; he had been compelled to the rebel stand because of what claire , brianna , and roger mac had told him . but in the speaking of the ancient words , he found the conviction he thought he pretended-and was stricken by the thought that he did indeed go to fight for something more than the welfare of his own people . and ye 'll end up just as dead in the end , he thought , resigned . i dinna expect it hurts less , to ken it 's for good cause-but maybe so . `` i shall leave in a week , '' he said quietly , and left them staring after him . he had expected his ardsmuir men to come : the three lindsay brothers , hugh abernathy , padraic macneill , and the rest . not expected , but gladly welcomed , were robin mcgillivray and his son , manfred . ute mcgillivray had forgiven him , he saw , with a certain sense of amusement . besides robin and freddie , fifteen men from near salem had come , all relatives of the redoubtable frau . | [["receive", 18], ["received", 18], ["word", 23], ["summon", 33], ["summonest", 33], ["summoning", 33], ["wilmington", 50], ["say", 63], ["sayest", 63], ["said", 63], ["without", 79], ["preamble", 88], ["preambles", 88], ["go", 98], ["goest", 98], ["join", 106], ["joinest", 106], ["militia", 119], ["militias", 119], ["take", 143], ["man", 160], ["mans", 160], ["manned", 160], ["men", 160], ["come", 173], ["willingly", 183], ["gape", 199], ["gapes", 199], ["gaped", 199], ["like", 211], ["sheep", 217], ["sheeps", 217], ["disturb", 227], ["disturbed", 227], ["grazing", 238], ["moment", 256], ["unsettling", 270], ["impulse", 278], ["laugh", 287], ["pass", 303], ["passed", 303], ["militia", 338], ["militias", 338], ["command", 361], 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yeah , i hope so too . he stood and walked the short distance to stand behind her . annie stiffened when he placed his hands on her waist and pulled her back towards him . shed heard him walk up and was surprised to feel his large , strong hands rest on her waist . she knew she should break the contact and put some space between them . when he pulled her back against his chest she was startled at how right it felt , how she wanted to push back further and feel his strength surround her . she began to pull away but he held tight , not letting her move . heath knew this wasnt the best time . they were both tired and she was focused on eric , yet he couldnt stop the overwhelming need to be honest . its you , annie . i want you , he whispered , his breath sending chills through her . he feathered kisses along the soft column of her neck . when she didnt pull away he let his lips trace a path to her shoulder then back up to the sensitive area behind her ear . she let her head fall back against his chest . he turned her around , moved his hands to cup her face and let his lips caress hers before capturing them in a long , passion filled kiss . annies mind raced . she knew she should push away from him , stop this before she got hurt . shed dreamed of this , heath kissing her , and holding her close , yet never once believed it would happen . his touch was so much more potent in reality than what shed imagined . he moved his hands from her face to circle her back , pulling her tight . she moved her hands up his arms , feeling the taught muscles vibrate . she melted into him , her arms wrapping around his neck , pulling him down to her . heath wanted much , much more , but not tonight . they were exhausted and annie was in desperate need of sleep . hed wanted to take the first step to let her know his feelings towards her , how much he wanted her . if her response to him was any indication , hed succeeded . he pulled back , resting his forehead against hers and took a ragged breath . i dont want to stop , but we both need sleep , and you need to think about what i said , decide if im who you want . her mind cleared as he spoke . heath was right . she did need time to rest and time to understand this change in him , his professed desire for her . was he looking for something permanent or testing the waters ? annie moved toward the door , gaining more distance , grasped the knob and pulled it open . im not thinking so straight , and , well , i dont understand how this change in your feelings happened , or why . well get eric taken care of , do whatever is necessary to see that he gets the best treatment and therapy neededwhatever the doctor suggests , then well talk about everything . annie , you need to know i wont change my mind . youve consumed my thoughts for months . youre the reason i let diana go . i hope in time youll be able to believe it and perhaps find a way to feel the same for me . he walked to the door , stopping in front of her . im in love with you , that wont change . he kissed her once more then walked out the door , leaving her to stare after him . ~~~~~ chapter twelve annie lay in bed . she should have been exhausted yet sleep had claimed her for little more than two hours . her mind kept bouncing between erics accident and what would be needed to help him recover , and heath . she found it far easier to think about eric . her mind couldnt digest what had happened just a few hours before , in this room , with the man shed wanted for the last year . annie looked to the window where shed been standing when hed pulled her to him , kissed her , and told her he loved her . it had surprised and scared her , yet not enough to pull away or make him stop . a few weeks ago , even three days ago she would have pushed him away , demanded an explanation for his sudden change , and been indignant at his pronouncement . her first reaction wouldve been to protect herself , her heart . at least she thought those would have been her responses . she certainly hadnt responded that way a few hours ago . a soft knock had her looking at the clock . where had the last two hours gone ? mom , you awake ? brooke called through the door . hold on and ill let you in . annie climbed out of bed and padded to the door . come in and make some coffee . ill be ready in a few minutes . were not meeting cameron and heath in the restaurant until eight . she watched her mother stand in place as if waiting for instructions . um , yes , im fine . just trying to sort some things out . she reached for her clothes on a nearby chair . ill take a quick shower and be right out . brooke could hear the shower running . it wasnt often that circumstances caused such a change in her mother . | [["yeah", 4], ["hope", 13], ["stood", 31], ["stand", 31], ["standest", 31], ["walk", 42], ["walked", 42], ["short", 52], ["distance", 61], ["distancing", 61], ["stood", 70], ["stand", 70], ["standest", 70], ["behind", 77], ["annie", 89], ["stiffen", 99], 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`` aye , well ... '' he said , and stopped . i let my hand fall to his thigh ; chilled and damp from the rain , his riding breeches were rough under my palm . `` did they tell you-when they let you go-why you were released ? '' i tried to keep my own breathing steady , but failed . his thigh tensed under my hand , but his voice was under better control now . `` only that it was ... his majesty 's pleasure . '' the word `` pleasure '' was ever so faintly underlined , spoken with a delicate ferocity that made it abundantly clear that he did indeed know the means of his release , whether the warders had told him or not . i bit my lower lip hard , trying to make up my mind what to tell him now . `` it was mother hildegarde , '' he went on , voice steady . `` i went at once to l'hopital des anges , in search of you . and found mother hildegarde , and the wee note ye 'd left for me . she ... told me . '' `` i went to see the king ... '' `` i know ! '' his hand tightened on mine , and from the sound of his breathing , i could tell that his teeth were clenched together . `` but jamie ... when i went ... '' `` christ ! '' he said , and sat up suddenly , turning to face me . `` do ye not know what i ... claire . '' he closed his eyes briefly , and took a deep breath . `` i rode all the way to orvieto , seeing it ; seeing his hands on the white of your skin , his lips on your neck , his-his cock-i saw it at the lever-i saw the damn filthy , stubby thing sliding up ... god , claire ! i sat in prison thinking ye dead , and then i rode to spain , wishing to christ ye were ! '' the knuckles of the hand holding mine were white , and i could feel the small bones of my fingers crackle in his grip . i jerked my hand free . `` jamie , listen to me ! '' `` no , i dinna want to hear ... '' `` listen , damn you ! '' there was enough force in my voice to shut him up for an instant , and while he was mute , i began rapidly to tell him the story of the king 's chamber ; the hooded men , and the shadowed room , the sorcerers ' duel , and the death of the comte st. germain . as i talked , the high color faded from his wind-brisked cheeks , and his expression softened from anguish and fury to bewilderment , and gradually , to astonished belief . `` jesus , '' he breathed at last . `` oh , holy god . '' `` did n't know what you were starting with that silly story , did you ? '' i felt exhausted , but managed a smile . `` so ... so the comte ... it 's all right , jamie . he 's ... gone . '' he did n't say anything in reply , but drew me gently to him , so my forehead rested on his shoulder , and my tears soaked into the fabric of his shirt . after a minute , though , i sat up , and stared at him , wiping my nose . `` i just thought , jamie ! the port-charles stuart 's investment ! if the comte is dead ... '' he shook his head , smiling faintly . `` no , mo duinne . you managed , then ? did the medicines work on murtagh ? '' `` well , no , '' he said , the smile broadening , `` but they did on me . '' relieved at once of fear and anger , i felt light-headed , and half-giddy . the smell of the rain-swept grapes was strong and sweet , and it was a blessed relief to lean against him , feeling his warmth as comfort , not as threat , as i listened to the story of the port-wine piracy . `` there are men that are born to the sea , sassenach , '' he began , `` but i 'm afraid i 'm no one of them . '' `` i have seldom been sicker , '' he assured me wryly . the seas off orvieto had been rough , and within an hour it became clear that jamie was not going to be able to carry out his original part in the plan . `` i couldna do anything but lie in my hammock and groan , in any case , '' he said , shrugging , `` so it seemed i might as well have pox , too . '' he and murtagh had hastily changed roles , and twenty-four hours off the coast of spain , the master of the scalamandre had discovered to his horror that plague had broken out below . jamie scratched his neck reflectively , as though still feeling the effects of the nettle juice . | [["aye", 6], ["ayes", 6], ["well", 13], ["wells", 13], ["say", 28], ["sayest", 28], ["said", 28], ["stop", 42], ["stopped", 42], ["let", 50], ["lets", 50], ["hand", 58], ["fall", 63], ["falls", 63], ["thigh", 76], ["thighs", 76], ["chill", 86], ["chills", 86], ["chilling", 86], ["chilled", 86], ["damp", 95], ["damps", 95], ["damped", 95], ["rain", 109], ["ride", 122], ["rode", 122], ["riding", 122], ["breech", 131], ["breeches", 131], ["rough", 142], ["roughs", 142], ["roughest", 142], ["roughing", 142], ["palm", 156], ["palms", 156], ["palmed", 156], ["palmest", 156], ["tell", 175], ["go", 200], ["goest", 200], ["release", 222], ["released", 222], ["try", 235], ["tryed", 235], ["tried", 235], ["keep", 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`` get her to the dance , adam ; that way she 'll have a chance at some guys who 're available . '' and , from the bedroom , suzan called , `` but not too many , cassie-leave some for us ! '' `` i 'll try to fend a few of them off , '' adam called back , and cassie felt her racing pulse calm a little . they had their parts down now . it was like acting in a play , and all cassie had to do was remember her role . she felt sure adam could handle his ... well , almost sure . something in his sea-dark eyes sent thin chills up her spine . `` let 's go , '' adam said , and cassie took a deep breath and stepped with him outside into the night . they drove to the school . despite the tension between them , the night seemed clear and cool and filled with magic , and the gym was transformed . it was so big that it seemed part of the night , and the twinkling lights woven around the pipes and girders overhead were like stars . cassie looked around for any other members of the circle . what she saw were outsiders looking in surprise at her and adam . and in the boys ' eyes there was something more than surprise , something cassie was n't at all used to . it was the kind of openmouthed stare guys turned on diana when diana was looking particularly beautiful . a sudden warmth and a glow that had nothing to do with suzan 's artistry swept over cassie . she felt conspicuous and overwhelmed-and at the same time thrilled and excited . but through the wild mixture of emotions , one thing remained clear and diamond-bright within her . she was here to play a part and to keep her oath to be true to diana . that was what mattered , and she clung to it . but she could n't just stand here with everyone staring at her any longer ; it was too embarrassing . they could n't sit down together in some dark corner-that would never do . then adam gave a crooked smile and said , `` want to dance ? '' relieved , cassie nodded , and they went out onto the dance floor . in a matter of seconds they were surrounded by other people . and then the music started , soft and sweet . they stared at each other , helplessly , in dismay . they were in the middle of the dance floor ; to get out they would have to forge their way through the crowd . cassie looked into adam 's eyes and saw he was as confused as she was . then adam said under his breath , `` we 'd better not be too conspicuous , '' and he took her in his arms . cassie shut her eyes . she was trembling , and she did n't know what to do . slowly , almost as if compelled , adam laid his cheek against her hair . i wo n't think about anything , i wo n't think at all , cassie told herself . i wo n't feel ... she could n't help feeling . it was dark as twilight and adam was holding her and she could smell his scent of autumn leaves and ocean wind . dancing is a very witchy thing-oh , laurel had been right . cassie could imagine witches in ages past dancing under the stars to wild sweet music , and then lying down on the soft green grass . maybe among cassie 's ancestors there had been some witch-girl who had danced like this in a moonlit glade . maybe she had danced by herself until she noticed a shadow among the trees and heard the panpipes . and then maybe she and the forest god had danced together , while the moon shone silver all around them ... . cassie could feel the warmth , the course of life , in adam 's arms . the silver cord , she thought . the mysterious , invisible bond that had connected her to adam from the beginning ... just now she could feel it again . it joined them heart to heart , it was drawing them irresistibly together . adam moved back just slightly and she looked up at him , cheek and neck tingling with the loss of his warmth . his eyes were strange , darkness just edged with silver like a new moon . slowly , he bent down so that his lips were barely touching hers-and stayed there . they stood that way for what seemed like an eternity and then cassie turned her head away . it was n't a kiss , she thought as they moved out through the crowd . it did n't count . but there was no way that they could dance together again and they both knew it . cassie 's knees were shaking . find some people to join-fast , she thought . and to her vast relief she glimpsed a sleek auburn crop and a head of long , light-brown hair interwoven with tiny flowers . it was melanie and laurel , in animated conversation with two outsider boys . if they 'd seen what happened on the dance floor a minute ago ... but laurel swung around at adam 's `` hello '' and said , `` oh , there you are ! '' | [["get", 6], ["dance", 23], ["adam", 30], ["adams", 30], ["way", 41], ["ways", 41], ["chance", 63], ["chanced", 63], ["chancing", 63], ["guy", 76], ["guys", 76], ["available", 94], ["bedroom", 122], ["call", 137], ["called", 137], ["many", 159], ["cassie", 168], ["left", 174], ["leave", 174], ["try", 204], ["tryed", 204], ["fend", 212], ["fended", 212], ["back", 252], ["feel", 270], ["felt", 270], ["pulse", 287], ["calm", 292], ["calms", 292], ["little", 301], ["part", 324], ["parting", 324], ["parts", 324], ["like", 347], ["act", 354], ["acted", 354], ["acting", 354], ["play", 364], ["playest", 364], ["remember", 404], ["rememberest", 404], ["role", 413], ["sure", 429], ["handle", 447], ["well", 460], ["wells", 460], ["almost", 469], ["sea", 497], ["dark", 502], ["eye", 507], ["eyed", 507], ["eyes", 507], ["send", 512], ["sent", 512], ["thin", 517], ["thins", 517], ["chill", 524], ["chills", 524], ["chilling", 524], ["spine", 537], ["let", 546], ["lets", 546], ["go", 552], 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`` do you think our connection is strong enough now ? '' paul lounged nak*d in the grass , watching her dress with drowsy eyes . `` it 's possible , but if not , you ca n't rush this kind of thing . it 's not safe for her . '' `` if i can get her to eat , that will be enough . i just have to keep her alive long enough to get stronger . '' long enough for andra to get stronger , too . the process was definitely going to be a fun one . there was an odd note in his voice-a hint of challenge , maybe ? `` assuming you can heal nika , what then ? '' andra pulled her shirt down over her bra . i guess she 'll come live with me . finish school . she has a lot of living to catch up on . '' `` i mean , what happens to us ? once you do n't need me anymore ? '' she smoothed her short hair back in place to give herself a moment to think . everything was coming at her too fast . she could n't keep up . that 's not much of an 'us ' to think about . i like you , but nika has to come first . '' he looked away , but his jaw was tight with anger or frustration . she did n't know him well enough to tell the difference , which only served to prove her point . and yet she 'd slept with him and enjoyed every moment of it . enjoyed it so much she was already wondering if she 'd get a chance to do it again . `` you 're using me , '' he said . after what he 'd done for her , she owed him her honesty . `` at least i know where i stand . that 's more than i had last time . '' he stood and stalked off , still nak*d , pausing only long enough to grab his sword . a pulse of anger filtered through their connection before she felt it close off . andra scrubbed her hands over her face . he did n't deserve to be used like this , but she had no choice . she 'd been honest with him from the beginning . nika came first . it was the only way andra could live with herself . paul resisted the urge to slam the back door of the gerai house as he entered the kitchen . he should n't have been so hurt that andra was using him . hell , he was using her , too , in a way . she needed him to help nika , and he needed her to survive . it was a fair trade-one he was actually benefiting from more than she was . but if that was the case , then why did it piss him off so much ? madoc was in the kitchen , with a stack of sandwiches in front of him . he did n't bother swallowing before saying , `` what the f**k crawled up your ass ? '' paul really wished he 'd remembered to grab his clothes before coming back inside . there was nothing quite as uncomfortable as talking about his ass with another man while standing in the nude . `` how 's nika ? '' mind keeping an eye on andra for me while i get dressed ? i 'm sure she 'll be in in a sec . '' that was as close to a yes as paul figured he 'd get out of madoc . `` the only spare clothes are in nika 's room , but if you wake her up , i 'll cut off your balls . '' thanks for the warning , man , '' said paul . madoc grunted in response and went back to his sandwich . when paul eased the door of the bedroom open , nika did n't even shift . in fact , she was so still , he stared to detect the faint shift of the covers over her chest as she breathed . when the blanket moved , he let out a relieved breath . thank god she was still hanging on . if she 'd died while andra and he were outside making love , she never would have forgiven herself , even if there had been nothing she could have done to prevent it . paul slipped silently into the walk-in closet and searched through the neatly labeled clothes for his size . everything was new and stiff , but the outfit was clean , it fit , and it covered him up . `` you know , you could have come back out and gotten your clothes , '' said andra from the closet doorway . he had n't heard her come into the bedroom , which made him question where his head was . maybe she was just really quiet . her cheeks were flushed with color and her hair still had bits of grass in it . her lips were red and puffy from where he 'd kissed her a little too hard , and the luceria around her throat had deepened to a swirl of rich , sapphire blues . the sapphire lady . just thinking about keeping her made his dick swell in anticipation . no way could they be together long without a repeat performance of what happened outside . | [["think", 15], ["thinkest", 15], ["connection", 30], ["strong", 40], ["enough", 47], ["paul", 61], ["pauls", 61], ["lounge", 69], ["lounges", 69], ["lounged", 69], ["grass", 88], ["grassing", 88], ["watch", 99], ["watching", 99], ["dress", 109], ["dressest", 109], ["drowsy", 121], ["eye", 126], ["eyed", 126], ["eyes", 126], ["possible", 146], ["ca", 168], ["cas", 168], ["rush", 177], ["kind", 187], ["thing", 196], ["safe", 213], ["safes", 213], ["safed", 213], ["get", 242], ["eat", 253], ["keep", 297], ["keepest", 297], ["alive", 307], ["long", 312], ["longs", 312], ["strong", 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i 'm not here to yell at you or exact revenge , or '' -dad blows a long puff of air out , and i can imagine him shifting his weight onto one hip , his toes curling under as he struggles with something he does n't want to face , but makes himself do it anyhow- '' but i 'm here to tell you that if you broke up with shannon because of what happened to your mother , then you might want to rethink that . '' dad knows what i 've been trying to figure out for the past week ? it 's like god took the world and shook it , hard , like a snow globe . dad laughs , not the gentle laugh of my childhood , or the boisterous , rumbling sound of comedy , but a more nuanced sound , one that is masculine and just the tiniest bit dangerous . `` steve was the last man to hurt shannon . i never liked him . '' dad 's voice goes raspy . i see his fingers twitch at his hip , as if he 's holding back from grabbing declan 's elbow and pulling him in closer to tell a secret . `` never liked him , '' dad continues , eyes narrowing . `` i faked it . pretended he was fine , but there was always something not quite right with him . he was a user . the kind of man who views people as fleshbags they manipulate for their own purposes , then chuck aside when they 're done . '' declan makes an ambiguous sound in his throat that sounds like man code for `` go on . '' `` you , though , are nothing like steve . '' i can hear declan smile . `` i liked you the moment i met you , and i know shannon fell for you . you do n't get that in life more than once , you know ? that moment when your eyes meet a total stranger 's and you realize you 're a goner . you just met the love of your life and forever is n't some fantasy people weave to get through reality . it 's staring at you over an injured dog . '' in your case , it was staring at you over a men 's room toilet . '' declan snorts . inching slowly , cheek against the wall , i position my eye so dad comes into view . dad 's face goes deadly serious so quickly it 's like he 's rebooted his emotional core . `` but maybe i misjudged you . maybe you 're more like your father than i ever imagined . '' `` what the hell does my father have to do with anything ? '' `` i think you damn well know james has a great deal to do with what you 're doing to shannon right now . and i ca n't do a damn thing to stop you , but i wo n't keep my mouth shut , either . '' their conflict has my heart ricocheting around my ribcage , and i feel like i 'm floating as the two men i care about most in the world are going head-to-head . dad 's face is so red he looks like he 'll have a heart attack , and declan 's nostrils flare like a bull 's . `` you 're just like your father , '' dad says , delivering the ko punch . gravity does , apparently , cease to exist , because i fall over in shock , my body flying forward and out into the lobby , shoulder and knee cracking against the polished floor , my shriek of surprise echoing in the enormous , airy building like a gunshot ricocheting . i 'm on my side and my hip and shoulder are screaming . i look up to find my father , completely dumbfounded , with his jaw hanging so low it 's resting next to me like a pillow , offered in shock . and declan is smiling . chapter eleven he ca n't fake it , no matter how hard he tries to hide the grin that just spontaneously popped on his face , but the smother job he does is pretty damn good . `` just testing out my lucille ball imitation , '' i say as i roll onto my back , afraid to stand up . this is far less conspicuous than any limp , anyhow . `` can i step on her , mommy ? '' asks a little toddler as his mom drags him by the hand on the way to the bathrooms . she 's dressed in all-white running clothes , and the little boy is wearing nothing but white , too . `` you might get dirty , '' she snaps . `` you must be jessica coffin 's sister , '' i call back to her . declan 's eyes light up , though he does n't smile . dad bends down to help me stand up , but i wave him off . `` you two were about to compare penises , so do n't let me interrupt you . '' i did n't think dad 's jaw could fall open any more , but somehow it does . half of declan 's mouth inches up with a quirked look , his eyes on me , conflicted but determined at the same time . he looks like a stern headmaster at a girl 's prep school , the pinnacle of authority and a role model for how to comport oneself at all times . yet just as likely to take the older girls to his office for a spanking when they 're naughty . parts of me that are n't supposed to be warm right now feel like sunspots . | [["yell", 21], ["exact", 37], ["revenge", 45], ["blew", 64], ["blow", 64], ["blowest", 64], ["blows", 64], ["long", 71], ["longs", 71], ["puff", 76], ["puffs", 76], ["puffed", 76], ["air", 83], ["airs", 83], ["airing", 83], ["imagine", 107], ["shift", 120], ["shifting", 120], ["weight", 131], ["weighted", 131], ["weightest", 131], ["onto", 136], ["ontos", 136], ["hip", 144], ["hips", 144], ["toe", 155], ["toeing", 155], ["toes", 155], ["curl", 163], ["curls", 163], ["curled", 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she also knew she did n't think well before coffee and realized that this was unlikely and even if they did , she would just pay for another day and use the time to get her bearings . signorina . signorina , the woman called loudly as she continued knocking . i 'm coming , sally said . the old woman in black at the door held the largest , most exhilarating bouquet of deep red roses that sally had ever seen . for you , the woman said as she walked away smiling . sally brought the smell of roses into the dingy room . she had been so confused about everything so far , she was n't even sure this was happening . but she was sure that when she opened the card , she would learn that they were for someone else . welcome to rome , the card said . will pick you up at 11:00am . sally felt like a person adrift in the ocean clinging to a piece of wood who suddenly spots a ship on the horizon and knows that the rescue vessel is steaming towards her . a wave of hope spread through her as she hurriedly dressed . she went to the front room to pay for another day and night , and found that there was a small sunny nook off the parlor where she could get strong coffee with milk , and a roll with butter and jam . it was all amazingly delicious . her relief at having made successful contact with marco was slowly turning to anxiety . it had been so long since she had seen him that she could n't really remember his face . how little she knew him ! she thought that this could turn out to be a terrible day . but when marco arrived and greeted her like an old friend , she knew in an instant that she knew him . he was the same , yet different . going to the car in the bright roman sunlight , she noticed for the first time how his dark italian hair shone , and how confidently he walked in his good gray suit . he seemed to take charge of everything . i am taking for myself the special privilege of being the first to show you rome , he said mischievously in broken english . be ready for a long and wonderful day ! the little car shifted gears with a bounce as they headed off and immediately got into the start , stop , and jog of traffic that competed for the little space in the narrow streets leading away from the pensione . ma che roba ! marco cried impatiently . she knew he was cursing , but it sounded delightful . marco had picked up more english in new york than had been apparent to her then , and she had learned more italian than she realized . they were conversing well enough about the manhattan she left behind and the rome she was about to see . at the wheel of the bouncy little car , once out of traffic , marco was sweet , smart , and funny . she remembered him as being rather unsure and passive in new york , not really very interesting . after her own last 24 hours in a totally foreign place she understood why , and forgave him . it quickly became apparent that rome was the one place even hollywood with its spectacular epics and romantic fantasies could not truly capture . to sally on that bright day , rome was more magical than the movies , more colorful than technicolor . she had never seen light like this before . the city looked bathed in honey , and it changed the color of everything . it made white marble and stone turn amber and peach . these colors make everything seem so ... .happy ! sally told marco . even here , happiness is just an illusion , he smiled . in this special roman light her make-up looked different . it was clear the cosmetics sally used for the dreary , northeastern sky of new york were too garish and overdone for this mellow climate . she made a quick mental note to use a lighter touch from now on . but she was too busy catching her breath to worry about this for very long . marco was taking her on a peek-a-boo tour , and she felt as though she were opening a series of boxes , each with its own unique and precious gift . first , a winding narrow lane where houses from another time crowded together to make cool , dark shadows , and then suddenly , like a slide show , click ! a brilliant plaza of sky , light and fountains . fountains that spun water with what seemed to be the storied exuberance of the roman personality and the sparkle of their lives . sally marveled at the buildings ; none more than about seven stories high . so , except in the curvy , narrow lanes , there was always plenty of sky . sally was aware that she noticed sky more than most people because as a new yorker , she hardly ever saw it . and coming from new york , where it seems they tear a building down every ten years and then start over again , she just could not grasp that some of the places she was looking at were over 2,000 years old . or 1,000 . or even 700 , 500 . | [["also", 8], ["know", 13], ["knowest", 13], ["knew", 13], ["think", 31], ["thinkest", 31], ["well", 36], ["wells", 36], ["coffee", 50], ["realize", 63], ["realized", 63], ["unlikely", 86], ["even", 95], ["evens", 95], ["pay", 128], ["pays", 128], 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on the other side of the large , open space , long tables were ranged in rows , a combination of benches and mismatched chairs providing seating . nell could see through a doorway into a kitchen that was equipped with a commercial range and refrigerator , a contrast to the lack of money spent on the furnishings . it was all familiar , but not because nell remembered being here . `` my name is paula hale . we-my husband and i-take in teenagers , '' the woman said awkwardly . `` this is a youth shelter , '' she said with delight . `` in a manner of speaking , '' paula agreed , but with restraint . it 's always on here . '' a minute later they sat across one of the tables from each other , each conducting a cautious survey . `` you understand , '' paula said at length , `` that we operate somewhat under the radar here . '' `` back home , in seattle , i 'm an active volunteer at a shelter called safehold . '' it 's one of the best . '' `` we 're ... somewhat different here . '' `` this is a last resort for these kids . they have been returned repeatedly to abusive homes . if we did n't take them in , they would be living on the street in constant fear of authority . i 'm sure you 're aware how poor the outcome would be for them . '' a sense of urgency pushed back her momentary pleasure at realizing what this place was . her head hurt , and she knew how strained she must look . `` you must wish i had n't appeared . but what i 'm here to find out is important . i was attacked ... . you know my story ? '' paula sounded sympathetic . `` some bones have been found in the park . '' `` i read about that , '' she said slowly . `` along with the bones was a backpack . things in it suggest the boy might have been a runaway . detectives are puzzled , though , because along with family mementos and a change of clothes he was carrying schoolwork . '' `` we do homeschool here . '' she sounded even more reluctant now . `` i and another woman have teaching certificates with secondary certification . of course we ca n't issue diplomas , but we prepare the kids to take the ged . '' `` eighteen years . '' `` could the boy in the park have come from here ? '' kids do n't always tell us when they 're leaving . we 're sorry when they just disappear , but if we made inquiries it would alert authorities and jeopardize what we can do for the kids who remain . '' `` his name was beck . i do n't know if that was a first or last name . '' paula gazed past nell , her eyes momentarily unfocused . `` that 's ... familiar . it 's an unusual enough name to have stuck . '' `` you place me in a dilemma . '' i should n't ask , but ... i do n't know where else to go . '' she hoped her sincerity showed . `` i 'll do my best not to reveal what you do here . '' `` i do keep some records . if you 're willing to wait ... '' `` please . '' she was clutching the coffee cup as if it was a life buoy . `` i think what happened to him might have been the same night . it might be linked to my disappearance . '' when paula returned , nell 's gaze locked compulsively on the thin manila folder in her hand . she wished fiercely that colin were here , but she could n't have brought him . given his position , he might not be able or willing to turn a blind eye to what went on here , and being responsible for destroying this refuge was something she did n't want to have on her conscience . `` there 's no photo , i 'm afraid , '' paula said apologetically . `` not all that much information , either . he was here only about six months . '' nell sat , her knees refusing to hold her up . paula slid the folder across the table . nell kept staring at it . please do n't let me pass out . `` unless he assumed a new identity when he left , or is dead , it ought to be possible to trace him from this information . '' nell stared at the top sheet , a court order . she 'd seen plenty of them . this one remanded custody of one beckett spencer to an uncle , kurt jarvis , giving the uncle 's address in eugene-here in oregon but on the other side of the mountains . `` after his mother 's death , '' paula said , `` he was forced to live with his uncle , who was an abusive drunk . unfortunately , the uncle was also a cop . despite documented bruises and broken bones , he convinced the court that he was a caring guardian of a troubled youngster . '' nell turned pages and saw notes . a couple of essay tests and one that she thought was calculus . `` he was very bright , a fine student . 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vincent chuckled drying at carries antics as he entered the house and closed the door behind him . id love to join you vincent tried to follow carrie into the kitchen , but lily and sammy stood in his way . the two goth twins looked up at vincent silently and stared . lily pointed out in a droning tone . sammy asked in a dreary voice . are you here to drink carries blood ? lily added . will carrie be going away just like mommy and daddy ? sammy asked with wide eyes . dont bother vincent with weird questions ! came carries order from the kitchen . im sorry , vincent , theyre my siblings . ah , siblings . a rush of relief spread through the drummers body . vincent knelt down so he could look the two kids in the eyes . my eyes are red because of a unique genetic trait i have in my dna . im not a vampire - though i wish i were . i would never harm your older sister , carrie . and im pretty sure shed never leave you . lily and sammy looked at each other and nodded . carrie was surprised when vincent walked into the kitchen holding both lily and sammys hands . she had the strange urge to go awww ! . vincent breathed in deep . mmmm that smells delicious . may i have a taste ? carrie dipped a wooden spoon into the sauce and scooped up a dollop . she held out the spoon for vincent to take . vincent shrugged and gave carrie an apologetic look . i have my hands fullyoull have to feed it to me . vincent said matter-of-factly but there was a mischievous glint in his red eyes . carrie tried hard not to blush as she brought the spoon out towards vincents lips . the drummer opened his mouth and carrie put the spoon inside . she was so nervous that her hand was trembling slightly , and this caused a drop of pasta sauce to dribble down the corner of vincents mouth . vincent swallowed the sauce . mmmm tasty . he said and then his pink tongue darted out of his mouth to lap up the sauce that was trickling down his chin in a very sensual manner . carrie swallowed , her mouth feeling dry suddenly as she watched vincent do this . why was vincent so fucking sexy ? the twins were giggling . hes a vampire , teehee . hes going to suck your blood . i would love to join you and your family for lunch . although i understand if id be imposing . vincent drawled , giving carrie an oddly sheepish look . carrie was at a loss and didnt really know what to say . ier of course , you can stay , vincent . lily piped up . stay vincent ! sammy added with a crooked grin . lily and sammy began to drag vincent off towards the dining room before carrie could object . carrie watched them go with a bemused expression on her face . who would have thought vincent sangre - punk rock drummer and reputed playboy - was good with kids ? as lily , sammy , and vincent passed the stairs that led to the second floor of carries house there came a voice : whats all the commotion ? vincent looked up and saw a young girl with long black hair dressed in a pair of sweatpants and an erotic corpses t-shirt ( one that had only been sold at one of their live performances ) and who was carrying a small baby in her arms . vincent raised an eyebrow at this since the girl looked much too young to have a child of her own . he deduced these must be more of carries siblings . rosemary spotted vincent sangre and froze . her eyes widened like saucers and she raised her finger to point at the drummer . v-v-vincent sangre ? ! rosemary screamed and ran back up the stairs . vincent could hear the sound of her running down the hall , and then the sound of a door opening and slamming shut . from within her room rosemary yelled out to her sister . why didnt you tell me vincent sangre was here ? ! vincent chuckled at the girls antics . pray tell , who was that intriguing girl ? the drummer directed his question to the twins . my older sister , rosemary . and that was our baby brother , draven . hes six month old . sammy put in . ah , vincent said with a nod . what a big familyhow nice . lily and sammy still had a hold of vincents hands and so led him to the dinning room next . within the dinning room was a large rectangular shaped table that had eight chairs around it . three chairs were situated on the longer sides of the table , and one chair was situated at each head . vincent took a seat at the right side of the table with a twin on either side of him . vincent noted that the table had already been set with placemats , plates and silverware . | [["vincent", 7], ["chuckle", 16], ["chuckled", 16], ["antic", 41], ["antics", 41], ["enter", 55], ["entered", 55], ["house", 65], ["close", 76], ["closed", 76], ["door", 85], ["behind", 92], ["love", 106], ["join", 114], ["joinest", 114], ["try", 132], ["tryed", 132], ["tried", 132], ["follow", 142], ["carrie", 149], ["kitchen", 166], ["kitchens", 166], ["lily", 177], ["sammy", 187], ["stood", 193], ["stand", 193], ["standest", 193], ["way", 204], ["ways", 204], ["two", 214], ["twos", 214], ["goth", 219], ["twin", 225], ["twins", 225], ["look", 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do you think you can work without talking ? tony tossed the second set of metal hooks onto the floor . ill do even better . he threw the screwdriver back into the toolbox . see you on sunday for the game . see ya , sean called without looking up . alone again , he doubled his efforts attacking the cabinets along the floor . before tonys visit , frustration and anger had made his mood bleak . now itd turned black . he didnt need or appreciate everyones opinion on the decisions he made . especially not from his friend who considered a woman a play toy . no matter what his mother and tony said , hed made the right decision . and as for his father and half-sister , well the jury was still out . chapter 14 it felt as if bricks weighed down on her eyes and she fought the urge to rub them as mark pulled out of the parking lot . the night before , theyd filmed until eight , then shed let her sister talk her into a night out . a new club had opened and avery insisted itd be just the thing to cheer her up . after several hours of dancing , she returned home for a few hours of sleep before reporting to makeup that morning at five oclock . if shed only gone out that one night , shed be fine now , but since her return to california avery had dragged her out almost every other night . while she appreciated her sisters efforts to cheer her up , she couldnt keep up the pace . especially considering that even on the nights she stayed home she didnt get much sleep . every time she closed her eyes sean infiltrated her thoughts . some nights she didnt sleep at all , while on other nights she got a few hours before she woke up from a dream and realized sean wasnt there . despite the weeks that had passed since he walked out of her hotel room , the pain was still fresh . are you sure you dont want to get dinner ? the only place i want to go is bed . she hated to ask mark for a ride home , but her sister had plans and she was too tired to drive . id hoped wed finish earlier then this today . i lost count of how many times dan and i filmed that resturant scene . mia turned her head and the cool leather pressed against her cheek as heavy weights pulled her eyes closed . this time she didnt fight it . bobs tough to work with . at least we nailed that last scene today . marks voice kept her from falling asleep as he hit stop and go traffic . if you say so , mia mumbled , her eyes closed . i was just glad he didnt make us re-do it . if he had i might have walked off the set . what do you think was wrong with it ? the car stopped and mia cracked her eyes open . dan seemed pain exploded along her entire right side , and the world spun as the car flipped . shattering glass and a scream echoed in her ears as something wet dripped down her face . an object bit into her chest , and it took several seconds before she recognized the seatbelt holding her into her seat . the honking of horns and shouts echoed outside and then everything went black . *** he pulled at the tie around his neck as he headed back home . the damn thing felt like a noose . yet today the noose had been necessary . as tempting as it was , he couldnt show up for an interview at mits lincoln lab in his favorite harley-davidson t-shirt and jeans . thankfully , the position didnt require a tie . only one guy hed meet with today wore one . tie or no tie he wanted this position with a team that developed systems for chemical-sensing robots . at the moment it was out of his hands . hed given his best possible interview and all he could do now was sit and wait for a decision . once again rays car sat in front of the garage when he pulled into the driveway a little later . with the exception of one day that week , ray had shown up for dinner every night . today , though , the sight of his car didnt bother him . for the first time since sean had learned of their relationship , anger didnt cloud his mind . instead only excitement and optimism filled it . for the first time in years he had complete control over his life . sean , youre home . his mother reached him just as he entered the kitchen . i tried your cell several times , but you never answered it . i turned it off before the interview . i guess i forgot to turn it back on when i left . he pulled the phone from his pocket and turned the device back on . sure enough hed missed five calls , all from his mom . is the kitchen sink leaking again ? if it was , she shouldve asked ray to fix it . his mom shot a glance over at ray , then reached up and placed a hand on his shoulder . mia was in a bad car accident last night . i saw it on good morning america this morning . an invisible hand squeezed his heart and suddenly he couldnt get enough air into his lungs . | [["think", 12], ["thinkest", 12], ["work", 25], ["wrought", 25], ["without", 33], ["talk", 41], ["talking", 41], ["tony", 48], ["toss", 55], ["tossed", 55], ["second", 66], ["seconded", 66], ["set", 70], ["metal", 79], ["hook", 85], ["hooks", 85], ["onto", 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great cliffs and undulating hills rose on either side of the river , so thickly forested that the underlying stone was nearly invisible . it was hot , and the sky arched brilliant overhead , much brighter and much wider than any sky he had seen before . a loud hum echoed from the lush growth - insects , he supposed , birds , and the rush of the water , though it felt as though the wilderness were singing to itself , in a voice heard only in his blood . beside him , tom was fairly vibrating with excitement , his eyes out on stalks , not to miss anything . 'cor , is that a red indian ? ' he whispered , leaning close to grey in the boat . 'i do n't suppose he can be anything else , ' grey replied , as the gentleman loitering by the landing was nak*d save for a breechclout , a striped blanket slung over one shoulder , and a coating of what - from the shimmer of his limbs - appeared to be grease of some kind . 'i thought they 'd be redder , ' tom said , echoing grey 's own thought . the indian 's skin was considerably darker than grey 's own , to be sure , but a rather pleasant soft brown in colour , something like dried oak leaves . the indian appeared to find them nearly as interesting as they had found him ; he was eyeing grey in particular with intent consideration . 'it 's your hair , me lord , ' tom hissed in grey 's ear . 'i told you you ought to have worn a wig . ' 'nonsense , tom . ' at the same time , grey experienced an odd frisson up the back of the neck , constricting his scalp . vain of his hair , which was blond and thick , he did n't commonly wear a wig , choosing instead to bind and powder his own for formal occasions . the present occasion was n't formal in the least . with the advent of fresh water aboard , tom had insisted upon washing his hair that morning , and it was still spread loose upon his shoulders , though it had long since dried . the boat crunched on the shingle , and the indian flung aside his blanket and came to help the men run it up the shore . grey found himself next to the man , close enough to smell him . he smelt quite unlike anyone grey had ever encountered ; gamy , certainly - he wondered , with a small thrill , whether the grease the man wore might be bear-fat - but with the tang of herbs and a sweat like fresh-sheared copper . straightening up from the gunwale , the indian caught grey 's eye and smiled . 'you be careful , englishman , ' he said , in a voice with a noticeable french accent , and reaching out , ran his fingers quite casually through grey 's loose hair . 'your scalp would look good on a huron 's belt . ' this made the soldiers from the boat all laugh , and the indian , still smiling , turned to them . 'they are not so particular , the abenaki who work for the french . a scalp is a scalp - and the french pay well for one , no matter what colour . ' he nodded genially to the grenadiers , who had stopped laughing . 'you come with me . ' there was a small camp on the island already , a detachment of infantry under a captain woodford - whose name gave grey a slight wariness , but who turned out to be no relation , thank god , to lord enderby 's family . 'we 're fairly safe on this side of the island , ' he told grey , offering him a flask of brandy outside his own tent after supper . 'but the indians raid the other side regularly - i lost four men last week , three killed and one carried off . ' 'you have your own scouts , though ? ' grey asked , slapping at the mosquitoes that had begun to swarm in the dusk . he had not seen the indian who had brought them to the camp again , but there were several more in camp , mostly clustered together around their own fire , but one or two squatting among the louisbourg grenadiers who had crossed with grey on the harwood , bright-eyed and watchful . 'yes , and trustworthy for the most part , ' woodford said , answering grey 's unasked question . he laughed , though not with any humour . 'at least we hope so . ' woodford gave him supper , and they had a hand of cards , grey exchanging news of home for gossip of the current campaign . general wolfe had spent no little time at montmorency , below the town of quebec , but had nothing but disappointment from his attempts there , and so had abandoned that post , re-gathering the main body of his troops some miles upstream from the citadel of quebec . | [["great", 5], ["cliff", 12], ["cliffs", 12], ["hill", 33], ["hills", 33], ["rise", 38], ["risen", 38], ["rose", 38], ["either", 48], ["side", 53], ["sidest", 53], ["river", 66], ["thickly", 79], ["forest", 88], ["forested", 88], ["underlie", 108], ["underlying", 108], ["stone", 114], ["stoning", 114], ["nearly", 125], ["invisible", 135], ["hot", 148], ["sky", 162], ["arch", 169], ["arched", 169], ["brilliant", 179], ["overhead", 188], ["much", 195], ["bright", 204], ["brights", 204], ["wide", 219], ["see", 244], ["seen", 244], ["loud", 260], ["hum", 264], ["hummed", 264], ["echo", 271], ["echoed", 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it wasnt like this yesterday . yesterday , i french-braided it . i would have noticed this . and today , before i sent her to time out , i unbraided her hair . it had to have been cut after that . i never noticed the missing hair . she has so much , and it was so curly from the braid . sarah , brandon said . she looked up from the soapy water . yes , uncle brandon ? did you play with a scissors today ? mommy left my scissors at home . but did you happen to find a scissors somewhere ? did you cut your hair , sarah ? i dont want short hair . i dont want to be a boy . cinderella has long hair . sarah , kit said patiently , a piece of your hair has been cut back here . did you find a scissors and try cutting your hair ? i dont want to cut my hair . okay , honey , but do you have any idea how your hair got cut ? sarah didnt answer . instead , she started to play with her bath toys again . sarah , i asked you a question . do you know how your hair got cut ? i dont want to talk about this , sarah said stubbornly . sarah , your mommy isnt going to be mad at you even if you cut it yourself . we just need to know . i promise , mommy will not be mad , brandon said . i didnt cut my hair . but you know how it got cut , dont you ? brandon coaxed . the baths cold , mommy . pulling her knees to her chest she wrapped her arms around her wet little body . ill wait in the living room , brandon said , leaving the bathroom so kit could rinse off sarah and get her from the tub . when sarah finally came out of the bathroom , she was wearing flannel pajamas . her hair , which had been towel-dried , was still damp . brandon , sarah wanted to know if you would tell her a story before she goes to bed . he glanced up at his sister and gave her an inquisitive look . she understood what he was asking and shook her head no . sarah had not told her how her hair had managed to get cut . once in the bedroom sarah was using , kit pulled down the beds sheet and comforter . sarah scampered onto the mattress and wiggled against the pile of pillows as her mother covered her . lifting up her arms , sarah wrapped them around kits neck and gave her a hug . i love you too , sarah . i shouldnt have gone to see the horses . mommy was very worried . please promise to never do something like that again . i promise , mommy . kit gave her daughter a tight hug , then kissed her on the forehead before leaving the room . brandon made himself comfortable on the bed next to sarah . book in hand , he lay atop the comforter and leaned against the headboard . i have your favorite story here , brandon said as he opened the small book . once upon a time , there was a young girl who was sweet , kind and pretty . brandon read the first line from cinderella , and then kissed sarahs forehead . kind of like you , he added . the lady cut my hair , sarah blurted out . the lady cut my hair . what lady cut your hair ? i dont want mommy to be mad at me again . sarah , your mommy isnt going to be mad at you . but she needs to know what lady cut your hair so she can protect you . she said she would call mommy , and when we went inside , she gave me a cookie . but then she started to cut my hair . mommy is going to be mad at me for taking a cookie from a stranger . chapter twenty brandon stood at the end of the driveway , his fingertips tucked casually into the back pockets of his denims as he watched the sheriffs car pull away . disgusted with the officers cavalier attitude , brandon wanted to kick something . just before he succumbed to the urge , he noticed a car pull into his neighbors driveway . immediately , he recognized its driversusan . smiling to himself , brandon silently watched as she parked and got out of the vehicle , then turned in his direction and smiled . damn , she looks good , brandon thought . she wore denim shorts and a camp t-shirt , and the way her long dark hair was pulled up into a high ponytail made her look more like one of the girls at the camp rather than an adult counselor . a red purse hung casually over her right shoulder . it was a stark contrast from the first time he had met her . then she had reminded him of a sleek young executive who looked as if she had just stepped out of the boardroom still wearing her fitted business suit and high heels . he had the same reaction to both versionshe wanted to strip off her clothes . | [["like", 13], ["yesterday", 28], ["yesterdays", 28], ["french", 51], ["braid", 59], ["braided", 59], ["notice", 85], ["noticed", 85], ["today", 102], ["send", 118], ["sent", 118], ["time", 130], ["unbraid", 148], ["unbraids", 148], ["unbraided", 148], ["hair", 157], ["cut", 183], ["never", 204], ["miss", 224], ["missing", 224], ["much", 247], ["curly", 269], ["braid", 284], ["sarah", 292], ["brandon", 302], ["say", 307], ["sayest", 307], ["said", 307], ["look", 320], ["looked", 320], ["soapy", 338], ["water", 344], ["yes", 350], ["uncle", 358], ["play", 381], ["playest", 381], ["scissor", 397], ["scissoring", 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`` i see you look worn , '' she retorted bluntly . `` thank you for noticing , '' he grumbled , `` after i took such pains to make myself presentable . i must remember to discharge my valet . '' `` the best valet in the world can not hide the signs of hard-living , '' she retorted . `` have you ever considered a change of occupation ? the way you live is sapping the life from you . '' his full mouth thinned with displeasure . `` i am not here to discuss my way of life . '' taking a seat , she waited for him to do the same . i no longer have the journal . '' st. john cursed so foully elizabeth blushed . `` is it in eldridge 's possession ? '' she hesitated a moment , wondering how wise it would be to tell him anything further . `` no , '' she said finally , the restlessness of her fingers was the only betraying sign of her unease . keep it from him . '' `` he has been content to allow westfield to work on it . at the moment , he seems most interested in finding you . '' `` yes , he would be . i 'm surprised he waited this long , truth be told . i would venture to say he wanted all of his agents in a lather before he released them on me . he 's nothing if not meticulous . '' elizabeth studied st. john carefully . `` once i learned eldridge was looking for me i understood how delicate this situation has become . in the end there is only one solution and yet it 's nearly impossible to implement . '' she opened her mouth to speak when a sudden disturbance outside drew their attention . leaping to her feet , she ran with st. john to the window . out front , a village cart tottered precariously on three wheels . `` stay here , '' she ordered , knowing marcus would wish to speak with the pirate , perhaps even detain him . elizabeth took only a moment to ensure assistance was being offered and then turned back to the room . she asked the two guards . they rushed in and quickly searched the space . st. john was gone . marcus leaned his shoulders against the headboard and adjusted the weight of his wife 's sated body , which draped over his own . even her grumbled protest failed to make him smile . he stroked his hand down the length of her spine , soothing her back to sleep , while finding his own elusive . why had st. john come ? if his aim had been the journal , he would want more than just elizabeth 's verbal confirmation that it was no longer with her . and yet he 'd learned no more than that before dropping out the window and fleeing . to have arranged the distraction of the broken cart in advance was typical . to have known the house was emptied of ashford men meant he 'd been watching them . his arms tightened around elizabeth and her face nuzzled his chest in response . the pirate 's warning was clear , you are not safe . even in your own domain . even as he thought it , marcus stilled . he cocked his head , his ears straining to hear over the soft crackling coming from the grate . he was greeted by silence , but he could n't relax . the hairs on his nape stood on end . he 'd long ago learned to trust his instincts , so he slid down to his back and rolled , settling elizabeth into the pillows . her arms surrounded him , accustomed to his habit of waking her for sex . pressing a quick kiss to her mouth , marcus disentangled himself and withdrew from the warmth of the bed . she complained , blinking . her pout was flattering and he took a moment to relish it . there had been a time when he could only dream of having her in his bed , eager for him . his ring on her finger caught what remained of the firelight and his jaw tightened . he 'd be damned if anyone or anything jeopardized her now . tugging on his discarded breeches , he whispered , `` hold that thought for a moment , love . '' he grabbed his small sword , which rested conveniently against a nearby chair , and withdrew the blade from its scabbard . elizabeth 's head came up from the pillow . with a finger to his lips , he warned her to silence , and then padded across the room on bare feet . marcus took a deep breath before cracking open the door that led to the sitting room . through the tiny space between the door jamb he could see across to elizabeth 's chamber . from the gap beneath her door , candlelight was clearly visible . once again , his instincts had stood him in good stead . marcus rolled his shoulders and slipped out of his bedroom . st. john had n't given up . he 'd come back , as marcus had suspected he would . he 'd wanted to position a guard in the sitting room , but elizabeth had been horrified that someone would be so close while they made love . | [["see", 8], ["look", 17], ["retort", 40], ["retortest", 40], ["retorted", 40], ["bluntly", 48], ["thank", 59], ["thanks", 59], ["thankest", 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`` i guess so but- '' `` finish it , gabrielle . '' she dropped her gaze to the pizza in her hand . how could she tell him that soon she had to go back to making a living ? eileen would have her back , but there would n't be time leftover for study . `` it 's not something i ever think about . '' `` then promise me you will think about it . '' `` i promise , '' she said truthfully . she 'd already thought about it , but that 's all she could do . she tilted her head and watched the soft breeze ruffle his dark hair . suddenly she was greedy . she wanted to know everything she could about this man before she set him free . `` what are your dreams , damien ? he took a sip from his can of cola and swallowed the liquid , then his lips curved in a wry smile . `` what every man wants . to be rich , successful and have any woman he desires . '' it was typical of him not to share his dreams with her , yet he expected her to tell him everything . `` seriously , then . and i 've got the woman i desire . '' her heart turned all aquiver . his eyes assessed hers . `` is that all you 've got to say ? '' `` three out of three ai n't bad , '' she joked , but felt far from laughing . a man like damien would never truly admit to actually feeling something for a woman , other than lust . she wanted no complications . he would survive without her as he always had done , and that would make it easier for her to walk away when the time came . at the reminder of her departure , she dropped her remaining pizza in the box and jumped to her feet . `` we 'd better be going . i want to see my father before he falls asleep . '' damien stood up and moved in close , frowning . `` you still do n't believe you 're enough for me , do you ? '' her gaze darted away , then back . `` of course i do , '' she said , but even to her own ears she sounded less than convincing . actually , it worked out better . if damien thought she was upset over this , he would n't suspect she was upset over her upcoming departure . a dark shadow crossed his features , but just as he opened his mouth to speak , some squealing children and a dog ran past them , kicking up the sand . thankful for the interruption , gabrielle broke away from him and began collecting their things . after a moment he helped , too , but she was grateful he said nothing further on the way to her parents ' house . for once , his running true to form like this ... keeping his thoughts to himself ... was working in her favor . yet just how she was going to achieve leaving him she was n't sure . if she left without warning like last time , she 'd have to leave all her belongings here . she would n't be able to pick up the threads of her old life . she 'd been fooling herself to think that . damien would be on her doorstep this time for sure . pride would insist his wife come back to him . but how could she start afresh somewhere and not tell her parents if she were to cut all ties ? could she really do that to them ? if she only had herself to worry about , perhaps . but it was all so complicated . god , why had she ever agreed to come back here in the first place ? it would have saved a great deal of heartache in the long run . fifteen minutes later she had to put her thoughts aside as she and damien entered her old home . the front door had been left unlocked for them , and now they found her father lying in bed in the main bedroom , her mother reading one of the latest novels to him . `` what 's this , russell ? '' damien said in a joking tone . `` you getting soft in your old age ? '' russell chuckled . caroline closed the book and put it on the bedside table . `` he tells me his days of reading the financial review are over . '' damien 's glance sharpened . `` so you 're retiring ? '' `` yes , son , i am . i want to enjoy the more important things in my life . '' his eyes encompassed caroline and gabrielle . `` that 's all that matters to me now . '' gabrielle 's heart thudded . so many times she 'd longed to hear such words , but now they only caused her more anguish and despair . all at once her mother smiled a nice bright smile that went nowhere . `` so , darling . when are you two going to have that proper ceremony ? i 'll need to put it in my calendar . i 'm not sure where i 'll be then but- '' russell 's eyes sharpened . caroline glanced at him , then away . | [["guess", 10], ["finish", 31], ["gabrielle", 46], ["drop", 63], ["dropped", 63], ["gaze", 72], ["gazes", 72], ["pizza", 85], ["hand", 97], ["tell", 118], ["soon", 132], ["go", 146], ["goest", 146], ["back", 151], ["eileen", 179], ["time", 229], ["leftover", 238], ["study", 248], ["ever", 280], ["everest", 280], ["think", 286], ["thinkest", 286], ["promise", 313], ["say", 372], ["sayest", 372], ["said", 372], ["truthfully", 383], ["already", 400], ["think", 408], ["thinkest", 408], ["thought", 408], ["tilt", 461], ["tilting", 461], ["tilted", 461], ["head", 470], 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he had slept alone his entire adult life , but when anna had become his mistress he had abruptly found , to his surprise , that sleeping alone was almost impossible . business trips had never bothered him before ; he had , in fact , thrived on them , but lately they had been irritating the hell out of him . this last trip had been the worst yet . the delays , glitches and aggravations had n't been anything out of the ordinary , but what he had once taken for granted now grated almost unbearably . a late flight could send him into a rage ; a mislaid blueprint was almost enough to get someone fired ; a broken piece of equipment had him swearing savagely ; and to top it off , he had n't been able to sleep . the hotel noises and unfamiliar bed had been particularly annoying , though he probably would n't have noticed them at all if anna had been there with him . that admission alone had been enough to make him break out in a sweat , but added to it was a gnawing need to get back home to denver , to anna . it was n't until he had had her beneath him in bed , until he had felt the soft warmth of her body enfold him , that he had at last been able to rel ax . he had walked through the door of the apartment and desire had hit him like a blow , low down and hard . anna had looked up with her customary smile , her dark eyes as calm and serene as a shadowy pool , and his savage mood had faded , to be replaced by pure sexual need . walking through that door had been like walking into a sanctuary to find a woman made specifically for him . she had poured him a drink and brushed close to him , and he had smelled the sweet scent of her skin that always clung to their sheets , the scent that had been maddeningly absent from the hotel linens . the ferocity of the desire that had taken hold of him still left him a little shaken this morning . he had noticed that serenity , and the feminine scent of her , from the very first day when he had hired her as his secretary . he had wanted her from the beginning , but had controlled his sexual urges because he had neither wanted nor needed that sort of complication on the job . gradually , though , the wanting had grown stron-ger , until it had become an unbearable need that gnawed at him day and night , and his control had begun crumbling . anna looked like honey , and he had been going mad wanting to taste her . she had silky , light brown hair , streaked with blond , and dark-honey eyes . even her skin had a smooth , warm , honey tone to it . she would never be flashy , but she was so pleasant to look at that people continually turned her way . and those honey eyes had always been warm and calm and inviting , until finally he had been unable to resist the invitation . the frenzy of that first night still startled him , even in memory , because he had never lost control -- until then . he had lost it with anna , deep inside her hot , honeyed depths , and sometimes he felt that he had never gotten it back . he had never let anyone get close to him , but after that first night he had known that he could n't walk away from her as he had from the others . acknowledging that simple fact had terrified him . the only way he had been able to handle it had been to completely separate her from the other parts of his life . she could be his mistress , but nothing else . he could n't let her matter too much . he still had to constantly guard against letting her get too close ; anna could destroy him , and something deep inside him knew it . no one else had ever even threatened his defenses , and there were times when he wanted to walk out and never come back , never see her again , but he could n't . he needed her too much , and he constantly fought to keep her from realizing it . but their arrangement made it possible for him to sleep with her every night and lose himself over and over in her warm , pliant body . in bed he could kiss her and smooth his hands over her , wrap himself in her scent and touch . in bed he could feed his craving for honey , his savage need to touch her , to hold her close . in bed she clung to him with abandon , opening herself to him whenever he wanted , her hands sliding over him in bold , tender caresses that drove him wild . once they were in bed together , it seemed as if she never stopped touching him , and despite himself , he reveled in it . sometimes it was all he could do to keep from groaning in a strange , not completely physical ecstasy as she petted and stroked and cuddled . yet for all that they had virtually lived together for two years -- the small distance that he insisted on retaining , so necessary for him , was in fact negligible in terms of time -- he knew little more about her now than he had before . | [["slept", 12], ["sleep", 12], ["sleeps", 12], ["sleepest", 12], ["alone", 18], ["entire", 29], ["adult", 35], ["life", 40], ["lifes", 40], ["anna", 56], ["annas", 56], ["become", 67], ["mistress", 80], ["abruptly", 96], ["find", 102], 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one daughter is a duchess and the next a countess . what more could the man want ? other than for his daughters to be blindingly happy . unfortunately , she knew her father too well for that to be a reason . a title and wealth were all he required . she put on an afternoon dress for visiting because she hated to come back to her room to change out of her morning dress . and it appeared she had overslept by a few hours . they had n't returned from the ball until an hour after midnight , and it had taken her even longer to fall asleep , for the memory of rawlings ' lips burned in her mind . tossing and turning , she nearly had her entire wedding planned by the time sleep claimed her . unable to keep her composure much longer without bursting , she ran down the stairs in search of sebastian or at least her sister . she had so much good news she thought she might burst from the joy of it . emma 's voice sounded odd , thickened by emotion perhaps ? or maybe sleep ? `` abby , would you come here please ? '' she followed her sister 's voice to sebastian 's study . she often spent time with the duke reading , while he sent out letters to various important people . it seemed they could not stand being apart for more than a few moments . nearly slamming into the wall because she lost her footing , abigail 's answer came out more as a yell than the soft-spoken speech women of gentle breeding were told to use . `` have a seat , dearest , '' emma patted next to her and sniffled . slowly , abigail walked to where emma sat and plopped down next to her . emma fumbled with her dress until abigail thought she might go insane . is sebastian well ? '' emma looked flustered . `` yes , yes of course he is well . all is well , how are you ? '' she leaned in , looking abigail up and down . she half expected her sister to ask her to get up and twirl so she could inspect her . `` it is not nothing ! for the love of all that is holy , stop twittering with your dress and staring at me as if i have three heads . spit it out , emma . '' laughter echoed off the streets , drifting through the nearby window , which was open to the goings on of the bustling world . abigail waited , for emma was always one to calculate her thoughts before speaking them aloud , making anyone within her vicinity ready to go mad with rage after a few silent moments . it seemed sebastian 's training had helped . abigail looked helplessly at her sister , who squeezed her eyes shut and , with a curse , punched the pillow next to her . `` should i get sebastian ? you do not seem well . '' abigail moved toward the door . emma grabbed her . `` have you heard from rawlings at all today ? '' `` i imagine he 's still with father . '' after all , calling hours wo n't be for a while , and i ca n't imagine him showing up so early just to gain my hand . '' `` but that 's fantastic news ! and has father accepted ? '' `` sister , how much do you know of phillip 's situation ? '' it was abigail 's turn to play with the ribbon on her dress . `` as much as anyone else , i supposed . he needs to marry for money , his debt is unimaginable , and his stepmother is a complete monster . '' `` oh , i can not do this . i really can not do this . i told sebastian earlier that there was no way i could have this type of conversation with my sister and what does he do ? he runs off to chase after rawlings ! '' `` whatever do you mean chase ? rawlings lives only a few doors down . '' `` he 's gone , abby . i 'm so sorry but he 's left . '' emma 's eyes pooled with tears , her lower lip quivered as she bit down on it . `` no , it appears phillip has left town . nobody knows why but his mother . oh , abby , i do n't know what to believe . his mother is spreading the most terrible news . she is saying that he only needed to be betrothed to release the money to his care . and when she went to the solicitor there was nothing left . he only needed a betrothal to obtain the money , abby . it 's gone , and so is he . '' abigail 's stomach heaved . he would n't , no he could n't . had n't he said as much last night ? last night when he was seducing her out of her mind ? when he was gaining her hand in marriage ? abigail pushed away from her sister . | [["daughter", 12], ["duchess", 25], ["next", 38], ["countess", 49], ["man", 75], ["mans", 75], ["manned", 75], ["daughter", 111], ["daughters", 111], ["blindingly", 128], ["happy", 134], ["unfortunately", 150], ["know", 161], ["knowest", 161], ["knew", 161], ["father", 172], ["fathered", 172], ["fathering", 172], ["well", 181], ["wells", 181], ["reason", 205], ["reasonest", 205], ["title", 215], ["wealth", 226], ["require", 247], ["required", 247], ["put", 257], ["afternoon", 273], ["dress", 279], ["dressest", 279], ["visit", 292], ["visiting", 292], ["hate", 310], ["hateed", 310], ["hated", 310], ["come", 318], ["back", 323], ["room", 335], ["roomed", 335], ["change", 345], ["morning", 364], ["appear", 388], ["appeared", 388], ["overslept", 406], 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and watch our eagles fly ! '' i see that my mom has come in to watch , and she has her hand over her mouth again like she does whenever she is about to laugh or cry - her eyes look happy , so i know she is laughing under her hands . and then ronnie and jake remove their arms from my neck so they can make the letters again with their bodies . `` e ! -a ! -g ! -l ! -e ! -s ! we 're all red-faced , and my father is breathing heavy , but everyone is so happy , and for the first time i really feel like i am home . my mom sets up the food on tv trays , and the game begins . `` i 'm not supposed to drink , '' i say when mom distributes the bottles of budweiser , but my father says , `` you can drink beer during eagles games . '' mom shrugs and smiles as she hands me a cold beer . i ask my brother and ronnie why they are n't also wearing baskett jerseys , since baskett is the man , and they tell me the eagles were able to trade for donte stallworth , and that donte stallworth is now the man . because i am wearing my baskett jersey , i insist that baskett is the man , to which my father blows air through his teeth , and my cocky brother says , `` we 'll see soon , '' which is a weird thing for him to say , considering he was the one who gave me the baskett jersey in the first place and just two weeks ago assured me that baskett was really the man . my mother watches the game nervously , like she always does , because she knows that if the eagles lose , my father will be in a bad mood for an entire week and will yell at her a lot . ronnie and jake trade facts about different players and check the screens on their cell phones for updates on other games and players , because they both play fantasy football , which is a computer game that gives you points for picking players who score touchdowns and gain yardage . and i glance over at my father from time to time , making sure he sees me cheering , because i know he is only willing to sit in the same room with his mentally deranged son as long as i am rooting for the birds with everything i got . i have to admit that it feels good to sit in the same room with my father , even though he hates me and i still have not forgiven him a hundred percent for kicking me in the attic and punching me in the face . the houston texans score first , and dad starts cursing pretty loudly , so much that my mother leaves the room , saying she will bring us new beers , and ronnie stares at the television , pretending he has not heard what my father has said , which is , `` play some fucking defense , you piece-of-shit overpaid secondary ! this is the texans , not the dallas cowgirls . the fucking texans ! jesus fucking christ ! '' `` relax , dad , '' jake says . mom distributes the beers , and dad sips quietly for a while , but when mcnabb throws an interception , my father starts pointing his finger at the television and cursing even louder , saying things about mcnabb that would make my friend danny go wild , because danny says only black people can use the n-word . luckily , donte stallworth is indeed the man , because when mcnabb starts throwing to him , the eagles build a lead and dad stops cursing and starts to smile again . at halftime , jake talks my dad into joining us outside for a catch , and then the four of us are throwing a football around on our street . one of our neighbors comes out with his son , and we let them join in . the kid is only maybe ten , and he can not really reach us from his yard , but since he is wearing a green jersey , we throw it to him again and again . he drops every pass , but we cheer for him anyway ; the kid smiles wildly , and his dad nods appreciatively at us whenever one of us catches his eye . jake and i are the farthest apart , and we send each other long passes down the street and often have to run even farther to catch the throws . neither of us drops a single pass , because we are excellent athletes . my dad mostly just stands around sipping his beer , but we throw him some easy balls , which he catches with one hand and then tosses the football underhand to ronnie , who is standing closest to him . ronnie has a weak arm , but neither jake nor i point this out , because he is our friend and we are all wearing green and the sun is shining and the eagles are winning and we are so full of good hot food and ice-cold beer it does n't really matter that ronnie 's athletic ability is not equal to ours . | [["watch", 9], ["eagle", 20], ["eagles", 20], ["fly", 24], ["flys", 24], ["see", 35], ["mom", 47], ["moms", 47], ["come", 56], ["hand", 91], ["mouth", 106], ["mouthed", 106], ["like", 117], ["whenever", 135], ["laugh", 157], ["cry", 164], 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without him at the scene , i couldnt see what was happening , or get a good look at the boiler to try to release the valve with my telekinesis . i could feel the fire and id already doused it , but whatever the warlock did to the boiler , i couldnt fix from where i was . believing i didnt have time to grab a knife , i quickly bit the tip of my finger hard enough to draw blood . i let the blood fall to the ground and quickly said a spell to get me into the boiler room . no one ever said i was smart . the gauge on the front of the boiler was almost to the red danger zone , and as i arrived on the scene , a rivet went flying past my head . not good , really not good . i didnt know much about boilers , but there had to be a way to release the pressure , and i doubted stabbing it with one of my knives was the way to go . i found something that looked like it might be the valve i was looking for . i attempted to unscrew it , but the little handle piece fell off in my hand . i heard more rivets flying around and decided id seen enough of the boiler to try to unscrew the valve on the boiler from outside . my bite wound hadnt closed , so i dripped more blood on the ground and hightailed it out of there . once safely outside , i pictured the boiler in my mind and worked to undo the valve i had been looking at . i couldnt really tell if i was accomplishing anything , so i concentrated intently on righty tighty , lefty loosely and screwing that bolt to the left . my head was still pounding from doing two teleporting spells back to back improperly . the time on my imaginary clock was probably up to a full minute , and the building was still in one piece . with as close as the gauge was to the red area , i had to believe it wouldve blown by then if it was going to , so i thought things could be over . i hated not knowing anything for sure . standing around imagining things in my mind shouldnt have solved a problem , but it had worked for me in the past . someone must have called to make sure backup was in place if things had gone according to plan . i was glad someone was on their toes . i tapped my communicator to get a message out to everyone . yes , dollface , kyle reported back . after you did your initial rescue , your new friend transported all residents close by a couple of blocks away . it seemed he took your instructions as an order and saw it through immediately . i didnt mean for it to be an order , just an idea of where we needed to start in case the building blew like i saw , i said . i made a note to be careful about what i said in the future . you were trying to save lives and he was happy to help . how are things on the scene ? im pretty sure everyone can come back . i think it would be best if one of us goes in before the first responders . i dont think the warlock did anything else , but i dont want our efforts to go to waste and have a human end up getting hurt . i wasnt sure anyone should go in the building . the fact that people believed me when i said the building was going to blow up was a little farfetched , but they trusted my mind more than i did . im almost back to you , nate said . youre not going back into that building alone . you nearly gave me a heart attack when you went in to try to fix the boiler . im not particularly looking forward to going back in there anyway , so ill enjoy the company , i replied as i saw him running towards me . rick , charlie , i want you two to take care of the first responders . hold them back long enough that we can give the all clear . just think , tomorrow the papers are all going to be reporting what a shero you are , rick replied , using the term hed started calling me ever since i took over as a spokesperson for the uniques . well have to tell them something , but i dont want to focus on me , i told everyone over the airwaves , as if they needed to know i didnt want more publicity . you were the only one of us who could have done anything to help . the rest of us dont have your cool teleporting ability and the woman you saved is probably already talking to reporters , joseph said . yeah , mom , sorry , but youre the hero in all of this . it will be good pr for us , so just go with the flow , charlie replied . im sure the humans unite group will say we did this ourselves for the publicity . how are we going to get around that ? i asked as nate and i entered the building . im sure the building has cameras . this is on a college campus , after all . it will show us leaving and possibly be able to catch the warlock on tape if he entered the building the old fashion way . who knows , they may even have had cameras in the basement . | [["without", 7], ["scene", 24], ["see", 40], ["happen", 59], ["happening", 59], ["get", 68], ["good", 75], ["look", 80], ["boiler", 94], ["try", 101], ["tryed", 101], ["release", 112], ["valve", 122], ["telekinesis", 142], ["feel", 157], ["fire", 166], ["already", 181], ["douse", 188], ["whatever", 206], ["warlock", 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it was stuck , wrenched askew over his shoulders , and he thrashed about in suffocating frenzy , fighting the murk , the mud , the weight of the water , the coat , the heavy boots , his straining chest , his goddamn cartridge box , for christ 's bloody sake , whose strap had got round his neck and was going to strangle him before he drow-bloody hell ! something struck his hand , hard . panicked images of sharks , fish teeth , blood-he jerked back . idiot , he thought , with what faint vestige of sanity remained in his darkening mind . you 're in a f**king ditch . and with that , reached out quite calmly and took hold of the thing his hand had struck . a tree root , curving out of the bank . waved his other hand gently around , found a bloody tangle of roots-mats and strings and woody stems , a f**king plethora of roots . pulled the cartridge box off over his head , dropped it , took a good grip , pulled one boot from the muck , and began to climb . his face broke the surface in a rush of air so glorious that he did n't care whether that breath might be his last . he clung like a snail for several minutes , limbs trembling and heart pounding from the struggle , just breathing . then , as his mind cleared , he realized that he had come up beneath an overhanging shelf of grassy earth . if any marksmen lingered on the bank above , it was no matter ; he was invisible . there was a lot of noise near at hand , but none of it directly overhead , and from what he could make out , none of it concerned with him . orders were being shouted in french ; the infantry company above was about to depart . he put his forehead against the cool mud of the bank and closed his eyes , waiting . he regretted the loss of his saber . the pistol was still in his belt , god knew how-but soaked and useless . that left the dagger as his only usable weapon . though given his position , he reflected , it probably did n't matter . he was on the wrong side of the landwehr , crouched under a bush , sodden and cold , with several thousand enemy soldiers a few dozen yards away . no , it did n't matter much . cautious peeping through the bushes , together with what he could hear , gave him a general notion of the shape of the battle . most of the artillery was to his left-the french right flank . the cannon were firing sporadically from both sides , still estimating range . a good deal of noise in the distance to his right , and brief clouds of powder smoke rising white as volleys were fired . not a lot ; no real engagement there yet . the ruse had worked , then ; clermont had been taken by surprise . drums in the distance , a brief tattoo . the cavalry was still moving . so ferdinand 's troops were on their way around the left flank , as planned , the french and austrians caught in confusion , trying to turn to meet the attack . that was where he ought to be , commanding his men , in the thick of it . he glanced above him at the opposite bank in frustration-empty . god knew what was happening . brett and tarleton must have rushed off at once to tell someone-who ? his blood ran cold at the thought of ewart symington taking his command . he could only hope that the two ensigns had got to his brother first . he did n't bother worrying about what hal would do to him . if he survived long enough to see his brother again , he 'd think about it then . three choices : sit here shivering and hope no one stumbled over him ; walk out and surrender to the nearest french officer , if he managed to do that without being killed first ; or try to make it to the end of the landwehr , where he could cross the canal and rejoin his own troops . he hesitated for a moment , wondering whether to discard his sodden red coat , but in the end , kept it . coatless , he 'd likely be shot for a deserter by either side , and it was possible that someone on the english side would spot him and lend aid . his scalp was tender and still oozing-his fingers came away red when he prodded it-but at least blood was n't pouring down his face anymore . with a last reconnaissance , he left the shelter of his bush , crawling through the thin screen of foliage . he wanted desperately to go right , to find his own men . but they were nearly a mile away by now , and already fighting , if all was well . to the left , it was no more than two hundred yards to the near end of the landwehr , and from what he could hear , the fighting there was mostly artillery . much safer for a single man , moving on foot ; if he did n't get close enough to a french gun crew for them to shoot him with their pistols , the odds of being struck by a random cannonball were reasonably low . all went well , bar minor alarms , until he came in sight of the footbridge that crossed the canal at the end of the landwehr . a group of women was sitting on it , watching the battle with avid attention . | [["stick", 12], ["stickest", 12], ["stuck", 12], ["wrench", 23], ["askew", 29], ["shoulder", 48], ["shouldered", 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there were certainly many gaps in dr auburns story , i was aware of that , as i was also certain by now that it had to be a very challenging story , having naively underestimated any possible danger , of course . half an hour later , we were walking into the large garden of xenios hotel . a dark haired woman welcomed us and guided us to the large round table where tina had arranged for christopher and me to be seated , next to rose , her greek friend , harry and his girlfriend bessie . the night was pretty cool and the crystal water of the large swimming pool on the eastern side of the garden was sending off a feeling of freshness . the place was filled up with round tables , covered with white linen tablecloths . i noticed a big rectangular table , decorated with flowers on the other side of the garden , which was probably the one for the newly weds and their families . when the happy couple arrived , fireworks lit up the dark sky , scaring the birds off the nearby trees and making them fly frantically among the blazes of color . tina was absolutely astounding , the epitome of happiness . she stood proudly next to niko , right in front of the large table where both of them gave a little show for their guests , a part of the traditional ritual of the greek wedding . a waiter , standing beside them opened up a bottle of champagne , with impressive skill , and filled their glasses . they each took a sip , crossing their elbows without spilling a drop , which i found quite amazing . another waiter had rolled a small table next to them with the wedding cake on it . according to the marital ritual , the groom and the bride , holding a teaspoon each , took it in turns to feed each other with a small bite of the cake . a tingling sound of glass suddenly filled the place . it was coming from the guests spoons , which they enthusiastically clinked against their crystal glasses . this is meant to make the couple kiss in public . i whispered to christopher , who was watching , quite amazed . the couple kissed and the guests applauded enthusiastically . then it was time for the new weds first dance . they took a few steps to the pebbled center of the garden , which served as a dance floor , and danced to the rhythm of a slow , greek song that made me shiver , although i could not make out all the lyrics . tina and nikos seemed to be enjoying every minute of it . then they sat behind the big table and the wedding banquet started . yes , as if that wasnt enough . i was never in favor of swanky celebrations . i had imagined my wedding , as every girl has , but much different to what i had just witnessed . for the rest of the evening , christopher had his arm around my shoulders , playing with the curls of my hair at the back of my neck as he talked . harry was probably surprised to see us together but he was very discreet about it . as for me , id been chatting mostly with bessie , enjoying the angry looks rose and her friend gave me , probably because christopher was not paying attention to them anymore . it was more than an hour later that i caught a glimpse of colin , escorted by a pretty brunet . he was scanning the tables , looking for someone . at the same time , christopher asked me to dance . the timing was excellent because colin had just spotted me and was heading to our table , leaving his girlfriend behind . christopher had demanded with his most irresistible smile . we walked to the dance floor and he put his arms around my waist sending goose bumps all over my body . i had my arms around his neck , always keeping a little distance between us . i could see colin behind him , standing just a few metres away , frowning and staring at us . i was very proud of myself , because now i was sure i had become totally immune to colin . all that mattered was that i was in christophers arms and he was looking right into my eyes . i said , dazzled once again by his beautiful face . he smiled and stroked my naked back with his hand , as if trying to warm it up , oblivious to the fact that this only made things worse for me . behind him , i could still see colin shaking hands with harry , bessie and rose and going back to his girlfriend , who was now seated in the same table with don . when we got back to our table , i asked christopher to excuse me and headed to the restroom . i checked my blushed cheeks and my make- up , put on a thin layer of lip-gloss and walked out . colin was waiting for me at the restroom door , taking me by surprise . i recognized the anger in his eyes and his frowned face . he grabbed my arm viciously and pushed me in the shadows . what do you think youre doing , emma ? you shouldnt be here colin . and i shouldnt be talking to you . i replied coldly , trying to free my arm . i was certain it was going to be bruised the next day . are you dating professors now ? | [["certainly", 20], ["many", 25], ["gap", 30], ["gaps", 30], ["gapping", 30], ["dr", 36], ["drs", 36], ["story", 50], ["aware", 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id heard from another human settlement about the illness . she asked , feeling somehow betrayed that another settlement was talking to the vampires about them . treasure island , he said . they trade with us . when we traded the medicine to them , they mentioned your settlement was suffering as well . that bothered her on many levels . mostly it bothered her because it made her wonder if she had been fighting in vain all of these years . maybe the humans did need to start cooperating with the vampires . it certainly seemed to work for the treasure island settlement . you already know where my settlement is . you dont need the blood bond to track me . yeah , i wasnt exactly sure how to tell you that . i didnt want you to know that i knew for a couple of reasons . id like to say it was all noble and i just didnt want you to worry about your friends , but part of it was a power play . if you run , itll be very inconvenient for me . ill have to attack your settlement to bring you back . i really wish that wasnt true , raven . she stared out at the trees , eager to move into them . she was a little pissed off , even though she understood his reasons . mostly , she just didnt want to argue when she could feel the woods calling her . rather than fight , she decided to change the subject . ive been meaning to ask how you get these vehicles . i mean , i dont see a lot of cars , but there are a lot more in your settlement than anywhere else . this is a long story , but ill try to keep it short , he said as he removed the old battery and walked around to stash it in the front compartment . we negotiated trade agreements with the countries of mexico and alaska first and now have some with canada . they get goods that we need from counties in europe and asia . were working on a direct trade agreement with china . it wasnt easy opening up trade routes again . people around the world were terrified of vampires and we didnt have much to offer . what we did have was the vaccine for the moon virus and a lot of countries wanted it . thats how we opened up negotiations . now , we trade cosmetic treatments made with vampire blood . they can temporarily make a person look up to twenty years younger , so theyre in high demand . so you get the cars imported ? nope , he said with a shake of his head . we make the cars . there was an old car plant close to here that made early electric cars for humans . it was still in relatively good repair . once we got the parts imported , it was easy to start making them . our needs are different from other countries so we designed the bodies ourselves . actually , we copied old designs . most countries have no need for offroad vehicles . we mostly make motorcycles and jeeps that can be used offroad because the streets are in really bad shape most places . sometimes we find older vehicles in good enough shape that we can reuse the frame . i didnt know that vampires were so organized . yeah , but you thought we were all slobbering beasts that just went around looking for blood two months ago . listen , connor said and took her hand , im sorry that i yelled at you earlier . i was acting like a real prick . his words stunned raven . of all the things shed expected him to say , that hadnt been one of them . i suppose i should be flattered that you were angry about me risking my health . im not handling my loss of freedom very well . ive never had to ask anyone to take care of my needs before . not even a boyfriend , he asked with a lopsided grin that told her he was in a better mood . especially not a boyfriend , she said , but she didnt elaborate . shed never had anyone in her life as more than a sex partner . her life hadnt allowed for more than that . i dont know how all of this is going to work in the long run , connor admitted , but i will take care of you . ill do my best to make sure youre safe and ill try hard to make you happy . his words were nearly her undoing . they were spoken with such sincerity that it made her feel cared for even though she knew that wasnt the case . she was just another one of his responsibilities . would you let me go ? no , he said and wouldnt meet her gaze . i could disappear into the woods today and you couldnt stop me , she said . and i could track you down anywhere , he said meeting her eyes with a hard stare . that part of the blood bond is true . if anyone found out about it , i would have to punish you , he added . please , raven , dont make me do that . i will be as ruthless as i have to in order to protect my people , but i really dont want to hurt you . his eyes were so beseeching that raven caught her breath . her hand lifted to reach out and touch him , but she let it drop to her side . not everyone wants peace , he said . | [["hear", 8], ["hears", 8], ["heard", 8], ["another", 21], ["human", 27], ["settlement", 38], ["illness", 56], ["ask", 68], ["asked", 68], ["feel", 78], ["feeling", 78], ["somehow", 86], ["betray", 95], ["betrayed", 95], 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inc. was passing along information to the jefferies brothers , and until they discovered who it was he and parker and every other executive had to be careful about what they said and did within range of others . just last month , someone had accessed parkers office computer and forwarded an e-mail they 'd planted to jordan jefferies . at his brothers partially closed office door , he rapped with his knuckles . when he strode in parker said . closing the door stephen made for one of the leather chairs positioned before his brothers desk . `` thanks , but save it for after the wedding . '' he was here because he and parker had a monday-morning appointment scheduled with brandon washington , the garrison family lawyer . brandon was always punctual , so stephen knew he 'd be here soon . he caught his brothers raised eyebrows as he settled into his chair . `` somehow i knew the news would reach you one way or another . '' parker leaned back in his mesh swivel chair and tapped his fingertips together . `` maybe not the way you expected . `` i guess its all right to disclose this now since i also discovered you 've been letting the news be known yourself . '' his brother paused . `` anna was over at megan 's place yesterday afternoon , and they had a little powwow . '' stephen felt his nostrils flare . `` tell me the wife encouraged megan to do the sane thing . '' `` define sane . '' `` stuff it parker . '' `` whoa whoa , go easy here . i just discovered i 'm an uncle . '' stephen let go with an expletive . parker eyed him . i should have known the minute i hired megan four years ago that you 'd find her irresistible . of course , a redhead with flashing green eyes would send you down for the count . '' i 'm up again , and i intend to win this match . why the hell did n't you tell me anna and megan were friends ? '' `` i had no idea myself until recently . in fact , the first time i saw megan again was at the wedding . '' `` you have n't reacted to my news with the same suspicion it 's been greeted with in other quarters . '' stephen observed . i did hire megan , and i am married to anna . '' just then a knock sounded , and both brothers turned to look at the door . parker called . brandon walked in . 'i 'm glad to see you 're both here . '' stephen and parker stood , and the men all shook hands . brandon took the other chair facing parker . `` so what do we have brandon ? '' stephen asked , as he and parker sat back down . `` cassie garrison is still refusing to deal . '' brandon stated matter-of-factly . stephen suppressed a snort of disgust . at the reading of his fathers will two months ago he along with the rest of the family , had discovered john garrison had fathered a daughter during an extramarital affair with ava sinclair , a local he 'd met in the bahamas . on top of it all it turned out that the daughter was cassie sinclair , the manager of the garrison grand-bahamas hotel , and that she along with the five legitimate garrison siblings , had inherited shares in the family business . cassie sinclair now chose to go by the name cassie sinclair garrison . so far cassie had resisted parkers overtures and refused to turn over her shares in the garrison empire . `` she apparently just wants to be left alone to run the garrison grand-bahamas . '' parker responded . 'i 'm not getting anywhere by phone . frankly , our best option is if i go down there and try to negotiate in person for a deal to buy her out . '' parker laced his fingers together . `` i have no problem with that plan . '' parker glanced over at stephen for his assent before looking back at brandon . `` were willing to pay-within reason . '' brandon named what he 'd offered as a reasonable price for cassie 's shares , and stephens hand flexed on his armrest . `` you snowballed her first ? '' stephen heard himself ask . stephen trusted brandon like a brother . the washingtons-brandon and his father before him-had been the family legal advisors for years . still , it was vitally important they get this problem with cassie wrapped up soon and to their satisfaction . they could n't let the future of the garrison empire rest with an unknown quantity-a potential loose cannon . `` and if she still refuses to sell after i approach her in person ? '' brandon asked , voicing the question on all their minds . `` everyone has their price . '' parker said grimly . `` well have to think about how much more were willing to offer . '' `` or we can borrow a page from the world of celebrity . 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he threw her only because of others opinion and the distance , while she waited for him through six years , in much more hopeless circumstances . she turned her phone off without any word . she was forcing to concentrate to studying , while her tears were flowing on her face . it was odd , when she used to be in even more hopeless situation , she used to feel the same , but without tears . she finished studying in the evening . she did the dance-practicing . maybe shell earn enough moey with the dance to move to america , and shell have more chance to theyll become a couple again . hhowever , probably he will have a new wife then . but maybe hell get divorced from her too . maybe any woman wasnt enough good for him ? 16 - henike , whats your problem nowadays ? henis mother began to speak on week later , while sitting next to ner on the sofa and watching tv . the girl was watching to in front of herself . heni didnt dare to tell it her . if she told her , her mother won . she suspected it in advance that this is going to happen . she has knew they werent fit . - you used to be so happy till now , and you seem to be so sad now . - dont you tell me ? - why was it good if i told you ? - because it interests me because im your mother and i would like to know it some seconds of silent youve split up ? - it seems like others opinion is more important for him than his love ! she bursted into tell it and her all face was swimming in tears of course , i waited for him through six years , in much worse circumstances ! and dont say me that you told it in advance because i know that you wanted to say this ! but everything worked out so well how i didnt think it ! how could i know this ? ! - ouch , henike , it protected you from disappointment if you didnt even become his girlfriend . i know how it feels like , i also was like you when splited up feri who ive talk about you she embraced her daughter . heni stood up without any word and went into her room to reading , then did the house work , then practiced the dance . the girls grief nor has subsided when there was getting for on the autumn holiday . like many people used to say , she used to rarely smile before their relationship , but after theyve split up , she has never smiled . her days were usual , according to that agenda , how they usually went , but happiness left her life . but when she practiced the dance or was on the course , she had to force mood to herself to dancing , to be good in it . but also because of exactly the man . henis grandmother surely has heard of the relationship and the break , but she nor has talked to heni anything about this . surely her mother asked for it . the girl didnt even want to call her friend . it was even more grievous to tell someone about the break than she didnt talk about it because pity even more fixed the loss . but she nor wanted to meet her if she isnt going to tell her . one of the reason was that eliza would maybe tell her , the other reason was that tamara would think everythings all right what would also disturb her , what would be grievous . henis mind was on it at one at night , when her phone set ringing . how could she froget to turn it off ? maybe because she couldnt think of only laurence , what distracted her attention from a lot of things . she looked at by curiosity who was calling her at such a time . maybe she wrote the mans name to another ones number ? and why hasnt she delete it at all ? she answered the telepone . - hallo she began to speak carefully . - hi oh my god , its really him ! what could he still want from her ? - hi she said shyly . - in the past weeks i realized i love you much more than others opinion and distance how much interest me . i didnt think ill fall in love with someone after gina too and i dont think i will love somebody more than how i love you . i have been in love many times but i havent love anybody so much like gina , then you come , who gave hr place . do you still want to continue this relationship ? suddenly calm , then happiness passed through heni . - im happy about this . i promise you anything wont come between us anymore , at least because of me . - ok heni was smiling for the first time for some weeks . 17 - hallo heni answered the phone at eight in the evening . - what are you doing now ? - i was just reading . - when is the fall holiday going to be ? - from 27th of october to 5th of november . - so it is going to begin one week later . have you got any programme for then ? - not yet . but if will be something family programme , im going to miss it and spend all of my time with you . - so thats ok . | [["throw", 8], ["threw", 8], ["opinion", 43], ["distance", 60], ["distancing", 60], ["wait", 79], ["waitest", 79], ["waited", 79], ["six", 99], ["year", 105], ["years", 105], ["much", 115], ["hopeless", 129], ["circumstance", 143], ["circumstances", 143], ["turn", 156], ["turned", 156], ["phone", 166], ["without", 178], ["word", 187], ["force", 205], ["forcing", 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my heart sinks at hearing that , the realization probably plain on my face because she goes on before i can even give her an answer . `` listen to me buddy , you seem old enough not to knock up the first girl you lay your eyes on . you better make it up to her , will you ? '' i fully intend to , although the reason for bella 's distress is probably something this woman could n't even wrap her head around . when she keeps glaring at me i nod , but then give her the retort her unwanted advice is asking for . `` she 's not pregnant , we 're just here because a friend of ours is having her baby . the woman looks first angry , then a little appalled , and she steps around me before i can say anything further . hesitating for a moment longer i 'm surprised when the door opens again and bella steps out . her still somewhat puffy but now dry eyes widen when she sees me hovering right before the restroom , and a hint of a smile appears on her face . `` ca n't even let me go to the toilet without missing me , huh ? '' `` not when you run off like that , ready to burst into tears any moment . '' she frowns , but now she 's avoiding my gaze . `` puking , actually , but never mind , i 'm good now . '' when she sees my raised brows she sighs , then rubs her eyes . `` look , edward , can we please not do this here ? i really appreciate your concern , but now 's not the time and i 'd really like to have that talk where less than half the hospital can hear us . '' i nod , if slowly , then reach up so gently cradle her cheek . her smile widens , and for a moment her eyes close as she relaxes into my touch . `` we can go home , too . i 'm sure rose will do just fine without two more people standing around uselessly , too . '' bella shakes her head . `` no , of course we stay . she called you first , we ca n't just leave her now . '' `` but if you 're not feeling welll- '' `` i 'm fine , okay ? '' i c*ck a brow at her suddenly acidic tone , and after a moment she steps away from me and starts walking down the way we 've come . `` come on , unless you want to hear any more theories about what sordid things we might have been up to in the meantime . and i doubt that this time rose will be standing guard in front of the restroom door again . '' she extends her hand towards me - a peace offering in more than one way - and i let her drag me back to the others . part of me wants to make her talk to me right now , but if i 've learned anything about bella in the past years it 's how stubborn she can be , a trait 's she clearly inherited from charlie . and what can a few hours hurt ? by the time we join the others to crowd rose 's room bella is acting nearly her usual self . at least until jazz tries to draw her to the side , probably to ask if she 's okay . she shies away from him , enough to bump into one of the cabinets . yet when she rounds on him her glare is close to furious , and heads turn all over at her hissed , `` leave me the f**k alone ! '' jazz seems as perplexed at her reaction as i am but he does n't reply anything , nor does he try to touch her again or even talk to her . i feel his eyes move over to me but i pointedly study one of the monitors instead . if anything , bella 's behavior confuses me more as she 's been back to hugging and casually touching jazz for months , even under alice 's watchful eyes . it does n't make any sense , and i 'm starting to realize that there 's a lot more going on than i 've thought . for once ignoring what i ca n't deal with right now seems like the best idea , and before long rose distracts us all with her colorful language . hours pass , and eventually everyone except emmett is kicked out of the room to give rose some well needed space . at eight in the evening alice and jasper decide to make a quick dash for the take-out around the corner , and bella joins them , leaving me behind to wait here . they make it back just in time for em to come running towards us , still clad in the scrubs the nurses pretty much had to force him into , hollering loudly . we have a baby girl ! '' i 'm a little surprised that he has n't known before but then i can still remember rose 's laments about him insisting that it should be a surprise . we barely have the time to congratulate him , then he 's running back to join his wife . an hour later the nurse finally lets us see rose . she looks exhausted but happy , with the barest of frowns on her face . | [["heart", 8], ["sink", 14], ["sank", 14], ["sinks", 14], ["hear", 25], ["hears", 25], ["hearing", 25], ["realization", 48], ["probably", 57], ["plain", 63], ["plains", 63], ["face", 74], ["go", 91], ["goest", 91], ["goes", 91], ["even", 112], ["evens", 112], ["give", 117], ["answer", 131], ["answeres", 131], ["answerest", 131], ["listen", 143], ["listens", 143], ["buddy", 155], ["seem", 166], ["seeming", 166], ["old", 170], ["enough", 177], ["knock", 190], ["knocks", 190], ["knockest", 190], ["first", 203], ["firstest", 203], ["girl", 208], ["lay", 216], ["lays", 216], ["layed", 216], ["layest", 216], ["eye", 226], ["eyed", 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i was born back when ... well , no history lessons tonight . tonight my little girl goes out on her first real date . '' it was odd seeing her look thirty again . she almost looked the same age as iris . it was still an adjustment . she hugged me tightly and went back downstairs to where everyone was congregated . i joined them shortly after . we were talking and joking around when there was a knock at the door . jay laughed while speaking in a playfully teasing tone . `` did he actually just knock ? he 's been coming on in for months now . i swear he 's moved in and not told anyone . '' he had no room to talk . ayla spent most of her time there , too . she and jay had become inseparable . it was uncanny really . jay had never been the settling down type . that soul mate connection must be pretty powerful stuff . i could n't wait to be tallis 's soul mate . aster walked to the door , motioning for me to come with her so that the family did n't tease us for longer than necessary . mckee was there , scowling as usual when it came to tallis and me . he was completely different than the perky , confident guy i met the first day of school whenever tallis was around . i felt bad for him , but i loved tallis . mckee stared at me as i walked to the door . then he made a snide comment . `` do n't see the point of taking her out when he 's been sharing her bedroom for months now . '' i cut my eyes at him and shook my head . he was n't ruining this for me . as soon as aster opened the door , i darted out to the porch . he had on dark denim jeans with a button up black shirt that complemented my ensemble quite nicely . his eyes grew incredibly wide when he saw me . he seemed surprised , which was flattering and a little disheartening at the same time . i definitely needed to dress up a little more . are n't we going to grab a bite at the diner ? '' i heard jay snickering . i ignored him though . i was slightly blushing as i spoke with a bit of embarrassment . `` yeah , i just let ash have her way with me tonight . '' as i shut the door behind us , he waved to everyone . i grumbled under my breath when i saw mckee roll his eyes . tallis wrapped his arm around my waist to usher me to the car . i leaned into him , ignoring the fluttering nerves trying to strangle me . we got to the diner and i heard a guy whistle at me . tallis shot him a threatening look . the guy threw his hands up in mock surrender , snickering somewhat . tallis shook it off . `` he would n't be laughing if he knew you could blow him up with the flick of your wrists , '' chris whispered , chuckling lightly . tallis let out a laugh and got over the quick surge of anger . he winked at me as he spoke in his smoldering tone . `` i guess i ca n't blame him for his interest . you 're well perfect . '' i felt myself blushing , squirming awkwardly under his enamored gaze . `` ash worked hard . '' `` she did n't have to do anything . he winked at me , making those butterflies collide in frenzy . `` so then there 's nothing special about me tonight ? '' tonight- '' he paused , letting his eyes rake over me in appraisal . `` tonight , you 're stunning in a whole new light . made me gasp for air . '' he certainly had a way with words . he was definitely smooth and charismatic . i found charm in the tiniest of things he would say . i was in love with him , and my resolve was cemented . i knew he was my soul mate no matter what the odds were . he was staring intensely into my eyes until we were interrupted by the waitress . we finished up and walked out with our fingers interlocked . the night was going great . chris and tallis had been having a friendly dispute about who was faster . they decided on a ten mile race . tallis turned to kiss me on the cheek . `` chris and i are going to settle this . i 'll be the one you see first . '' aster rolled her eyes as chris leaned over and kissed her . `` be careful , boys . do n't let yourselves be seen . '' chris chuckled as he spoke teasingly . `` i do n't know about him , but i 'll be going too fast for the mortal eye to see . '' then with a whirling sound of wind , they were gone . aster and i walked around to the side of the restaurant . she laughed lightly as she spoke . `` boys will be boys i guess . i suppose it does n't matter how many centuries they have under their belt . '' then we heard voices . | [["bore", 10], ["bear", 10], ["bearest", 10], ["born", 10], ["back", 15], ["well", 29], ["wells", 29], ["history", 42], ["lesson", 50], ["lessons", 50], ["tonight", 58], ["little", 78], ["girl", 83], ["go", 88], ["goest", 88], ["goes", 88], ["first", 105], ["firstest", 105], ["reis", 110], ["real", 110], ["date", 115], ["odd", 131], ["see", 138], ["seeing", 138], ["look", 147], ["thirty", 154], ["almost", 173], ["look", 180], ["looked", 180], ["age", 193], ["aged", 193], ["iris", 201], ["still", 216], ["adjustment", 230], ["hug", 243], ["hugged", 243], ["tightly", 254], ["go", 263], ["goest", 263], ["went", 263], ["downstairs", 279], ["everyone", 297], ["congregate", 313], ["congregated", 313], ["join", 324], ["joinest", 324], ["joined", 324], ["shortly", 337], ["talk", 361], ["talking", 361], ["joke", 372], ["jokes", 372], ["joking", 372], ["around", 379], ["knock", 402], ["knocks", 402], ["knockest", 402], ["door", 414], ["jay", 420], ["jays", 420], 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i can only treat the presenting symptom , im afraid , said ben , and looked at the man as if they shared deep common sympathies . blame the nhs . mr leach looked angry , but ben knew hed have to buy it . ben stood up , to indicate that the consultation was over . reluctantly , the man stood up too , and so did layla . ben opened the door of the consulting room for them . the man went out first . then the girl glancing up at ben as she went past . from the look in her eyes , youd think ben had either made medical history or pulled off an act of extraordinary heroism and bravery . * * * crossing the car park , ben was heading gratefully towards his car , needing to get home . he was looking forward to taking off his shoes , his tie , his leather belt and crisply-pressed trousers - all the outward trappings of being a london doctor . a bowl of rice crispies in front of the television was looking inexplicably attractive . you survived your first day ! ben turned and saw ravi , the doctor who had shown him the ropes this morning . come and have a drink to celebrate . dmitri will be over at the thirsty whale , saving us a seat . we could do the post-mortem over there . ben didnt want to go he enjoyed a drink , yes , but he was tired . unfortunately , the social part of being a doctor could be almost as important as the book-learning . ben knew that . hed survived ten years of med school parties and hospital fundraisers and sharing flats with stuck-up trainee surgeons . im keen , he said , wearily . youll feel better after a drink , said the colleague , patting ben on the back . yes , the thought of the alcohol was some compensation . he could just have one . so ben nodded and they headed across to the bar . dmitri , the third doctor , was already in a booth by the window . he got up and waved and offered to shake bens hand which he did with a firm , friendly grip . he was vaguely russian and still had a trace of an accent , whereas ravi spoke with the crisp , clipped tones of someone whos british prep school had cost his parents a great deal of money . call me dima , the russian one said . less formal , and easier to say . ravi handed ben the wine list . whats your medication , doctor ? ben looked at the wine list and decided that to avoid disappointment , hed better stick to beer . his father was a wine importer . ben had acquired some expensive tastes . im buying , said ben , and the others smiled and outlined their requirements . when they were settled back in the booth with drinks in their hands , ben decided to ask them in sketchy , general terms about the situation hed found himself in , with layla . i had a bizarre consultation today , he said . ravi smiled he had warm , understanding brown eyes . he must be popular with his patients , ben thought . some of the locals can be very entertaining . this one was more odd than entertaining , ben said . a girl lying about her age reducing it by a couple of years . teenagers usually want to be older , not younger . dmitri shrugged . cheap travel on the buses . kids tickets at the cinema ? her so-called stepfather brought her in asking for a raft of tests to be done . dmitri looked at ravi and ravi looked at dmitri , who raised his brows , expressively . oh , the russian doctor said . ravi explained . i would assume he wants to get her working , you know what i mean , and maybe shes trying to argue that she isnt legal yet . ben listened and thought about this theory . it fitted the facts , as he had gauged them . she was wearing a kind of corset thing . dmitri gave him a wry look . maybe shes working already , then . i think it was to make herself look younger to hide her breasts . ravi frowned . what was the man like ? the so-called stepfather ? said his name was leach . about forty-five . paunchy . he coughed like an addict . i know the one , said ravi . ray leach . hes always got a new girl in tow . hes friends with that man who runs the fizz club isnt he ? dmitri said . the fizz club ? whats that , exactly ? is it some kind of gym ? at night it turns into a gentlemans club and ive heard it specializes in so-called clean girls . kids new to the game , mainly . ravi said . i believe someone from there was jailed for trading in underage girls . but they didnt pin it on the man who runs the club . '' dmitri smiled . he could get away with murder . are you talking about birch ? said ravi . dmitri gave a very russian shrug . whos birch ? somebody enlighten the new boy , said dmitri , picking up his drink . | [["treat", 16], ["treats", 16], ["treatest", 16], ["present", 31], ["presentest", 31], ["presenting", 31], ["symptom", 39], ["afraid", 51], ["say", 58], ["sayest", 58], ["said", 58], ["ben", 62], ["bens", 62], ["look", 75], ["looked", 75], ["man", 86], ["mans", 86], ["manned", 86], ["share", 104], ["shared", 104], ["deep", 109], ["deeply", 109], ["common", 116], ["commons", 116], ["commonest", 116], ["sympathy", 127], ["sympathies", 127], ["blame", 135], ["blamest", 135], ["nhs", 143], ["mr", 148], ["leach", 154], ["angry", 167], ["know", 182], ["knowest", 182], ["knew", 182], ["buy", 198], ["buyed", 198], ["stood", 213], ["stand", 213], ["standest", 213], ["indicate", 230], ["consultation", 252], ["reluctantly", 275], ["layla", 317], ["open", 330], ["opened", 330], ["door", 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like the rest of you , i heard her message stream over the airwaves : commit to your family and make it work . hold fast to the vows you made before god . this from a woman who walked out on her marriage and abandoned her children , and - `` ruby ! '' she tossed down the pen and paper and went to the doorway , poking her head out . `` can you breathe okay , with all this dust ? '' as always , her mother was as subtle as an exclamation mark . `` i see you found enough air in your lungs to scream at me , '' she muttered , hurrying downstairs . as she passed her mother 's bedroom , she heard a sneeze . ruby smiled ; she could n't help it . in the kitchen , she knelt in front of the cabinet beneath the sink and opened the doors . everything she needed to clean the house , and in quantities large enough to clean any house , stood in four straight rows . when she realized that the supplies were organized in alphabetical order , she burst out laughing . `` poor caro , '' she whispered , realizing how badly her sister wanted everything to be tidy . `` you were definitely born into the wrong family . '' then , as tired as she was , she started to clean . chapter eight nora tried not to watch her daughter clean the house . it was simply too irritating . ruby dusted without moving anything , and she clearly thought a dry rag would do the job . oh , she 'd brought out the industrial-size can of pledge , but she 'd left it sitting on the tile counter in the kitchen . when she started mopping the floor with soapless water , nora could n't help herself . `` are n't you going to sweep first ? '' she asked from her wheelchair , tucked into the open doorway of her bedroom . her face was flushed-from what exertion , nora could n't imagine . nora wished she 'd kept silent , but now there was nowhere to go except forward . `` you need to sweep the floor before you mop ... and soap in the water is a big help . '' ruby let go of the mop . the wooden handle clattered to the floor . `` you 're criticizing my cleaning technique ? '' `` i would n't call it a technique . it 's just common sense to- '' `` so , i have no common sense , either . '' i taught you- '' ruby was in front of nora before she could finish the sentence . `` you do not want to bring up the things you taught me . because if i do as i 've been taught , i 'll walk out that door , climb into the minivan , and drive away . i wo n't even bother to wave good-bye . '' nora 's irritation vanished ; regret swooped in to take its place . she sagged like a rag doll in her chair . `` according to caro , those are your favorite words . maybe you should think about what it really means to apologize before you bother . '' she stomped back to the kitchen sink , grabbed some liquid soap , and squirted a stream into the white plastic bucket . then she began mopping again ; her strokes were positively vicious . nora sat there , watching . the thwop-squish-clack of the mop moving across the floor ( streaking clumps of dirt , nora noticed but obviously did n't mention ) was the only sound in the room . finally , nora wound up the nerve for a different approach . `` maybe i could help ? '' ruby did n't look at her . `` i stripped the bed upstairs . the sheets are piled on the washing machine . you could take care of your bed and start a load of laundry . '' it took her almost an hour of maneuvering in her chair to strip the sheets off her bed , roll into the cubicle-size laundry room , and start the first load . by the time she finished , she was wheezing like a dying crow . she rolled back into the kitchen and found that the room was sparkling clean . ruby had even replaced the horrid plastic flowers on the table with a fragrant bouquet of roses . `` oh , '' nora said , taking her first decent breath since coming into the house . just like- '' `` thanks . '' nora understood that ruby did n't want the past mentioned . it did n't surprise nora , that reaction . ruby had always been an expert at denial . even as a child , she 'd had the ability to compartmentalize and forget . she could box up whatever she did n't want to face and store it away . it had been this very trait that had allowed her to shut nora out of her life so completely . out of sight for ruby had always meant out of mind . nora decided not to let it be so easy this time . `` i thought i 'd help you make dinner . '' ruby turned to look at her . `` you look like john hurt , just before the alien popped out of his chest . `` there 's no food . we-i-have to go shopping . '' | [["like", 4], ["rest", 13], ["hear", 30], ["hears", 30], ["heard", 30], ["message", 42], ["stream", 49], ["streams", 49], ["streamed", 49], ["streaming", 49], ["airwave", 67], ["airwaves", 67], ["commit", 76], ["committed", 76], ["family", 91], ["work", 108], ["wrought", 108], ["hold", 115], ["fast", 120], ["vow", 132], ["vows", 132], ["god", 152], ["woman", 172], ["womans", 172], ["walk", 183], ["walked", 183], ["marriage", 203], ["abandon", 217], ["abandoned", 217], ["child", 230], ["childs", 230], ["children", 230], ["ruby", 246], ["toss", 262], ["tossed", 262], ["pen", 275], ["paper", 285], ["go", 294], ["goest", 294], ["went", 294], ["doorway", 309], ["poke", 318], ["poking", 318], ["head", 327], ["breathes", 352], ["okay", 357], ["dust", 378], ["dusting", 378], ["always", 393], ["mother", 406], ["mothered", 406], ["motherest", 406], ["subtle", 420], ["exclamation", 438], ["mark", 443], ["marks", 443], ["see", 454], ["find", 464], ["found", 464], ["enough", 471], ["air", 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`` visions of you had me begging for a release that was denied to me . sleeping in that bed where we 'd spent so many pleasurable hours making love was torture . '' his eyelids grew heavy as he pleasured himself . `` every night i would bring myself relief with pictures of you in my mind . did n't you miss me as well ? '' olivia licked her lips , her gaze riveted to the dark hand that stroked his cock . she wanted him so badly she ached . despite everything , she still loved him . `` this changes nothing , '' she whispered . `` it is only sex . '' his grin was triumphant , and it pricked her pride . sebastian might think he 'd won this encounter , but she would prove differently . she crossed the short distance between them and dropped to her knees . grasping his straining erection , she pulled it down to her mouth and sucked it inside , swirling her tongue around the plum-sized head . his hiss of pleasure followed by the convulsive grip of his fingers in her hair betrayed her power . a few quick thrusts of his hips , and his thighs were straining with the effort to remain standing . `` poor , sweet , '' she murmured against the wet head of his cock . `` perhaps you should lie on the bed before you collapse . '' pulling her upright , sebastian possessed her mouth , thrusting his tongue inside just as he had thrust his cock . his skilled hands caressed her curves with disarming familiarity . within moments , she was clinging to his powerful body , gasping with pleasure . he ripped her gown open , sending scores of tiny cloth-covered buttons flying in every direction . excitement coursed through her blood , even as her mind still waged its protest . `` this changes nothing , '' she repeated . `` remind yourself of that when i 'm done , '' he growled arrogantly , shoving her dress to the floor . he spun her around and tore at her tapes , quickly divesting her of her petticoats and corset without care for the costly garments . `` sebastian- '' `` umm ... say my name again , sweeting . i love the way you say it . '' he pulled her chemise over her head and tossed it aside before lifting her and carrying her to the bed , his mouth pressed firmly against her forehead . `` i 've missed you terribly . '' olivia shook her head , her eyes burning with unshed tears . she tugged the ribbon from his queue , freeing his silky raven locks . `` i should be stronger . i should resist you . you 've hurt me terribly . perhaps if i had a blade or a pistol- '' `` neither one could keep me from you . '' then why had he left ? more important , she needed to know why he 'd returned . stiffening against him , she leaned back to search his face . sebastian stared back with tender blue eyes , and olivia bit back a sob . she 'd longed for his love , and she longed to believe it was real . but she could n't trust him , and because of that lack , instead of joy , his words brought only pain . `` why do you look so shocked , sweet ? surely you must have suspected how i felt . '' he laid her on the bed as if she were the most priceless of treasures . `` you came back because you love me ? '' she queried bitterly . `` only a besotted fool would believe that . '' `` i did n't come back because i love you . '' `` i left because i love you . '' sebastian settled atop her and lowered his lips , effectively silencing her forthcoming questions with devastating kisses . his hard , expert mouth moved over hers , weakening her defenses , reminding her of the pleasure to be found in his arms . he rolled , taking her with him , freeing his hands to roam with questing tenderness . hot flicks of his tongue caressed the roof of her mouth and stroked against hers . lord , she 'd almost forgotten how well the man could kiss ! his mouth was wicked , divine , and he kissed her as if he were feasting on the taste of her . her womb clenched on the verge of orgasm . she wiggled her h*ps until his c*ck was wedged at the moist entrance to her body . he gasped , tearing his mouth from hers , but she paid him no heed , sliding onto his throbbing c*ck with a pleasured moan . instantly his torso bucked off the bed , lifting her with him , and he was coming deep within her , crying out hoarsely as his hot seed spurted with wrenching shudders . his arms came around her in a crushing embrace , his body shivering with powerful tremors . olivia held him close , wondering at the feel of him , hot and hard and jerking beneath her . when he was drained , she followed him back into the pillows . | [["vision", 10], ["visions", 10], ["beg", 32], ["begging", 32], ["release", 46], ["deny", 62], ["denied", 62], ["slept", 79], ["sleep", 79], ["sleeps", 79], ["sleepest", 79], ["sleeping", 79], ["bed", 91], ["spend", 109], ["spends", 109], ["spendest", 109], ["spent", 109], ["many", 117], ["pleasurable", 129], ["hour", 135], ["hours", 135], ["love", 147], ["torture", 159], ["eyelid", 176], ["eyelids", 176], ["grow", 181], ["growest", 181], ["grew", 181], ["heavy", 187], ["heavies", 187], ["heavier", 187], ["pleasure", 203], ["pleasured", 203], ["every", 222], ["night", 228], ["bring", 242], ["relief", 256], ["reliefs", 256], ["picture", 270], ["pictures", 270], ["mind", 288], ["minding", 288], ["miss", 307], ["well", 318], ["wells", 318], 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but i want to do something for you on your last dinner with us . okay , thanks andrew . oh , and one more thing , were all glad youre back , and i personally hope you stay . it makes life at the office a lot more interesting . chapter 11 it was the last day of before the big presentation , and kelly was already feeling the butterflies . she knew the work was good , and she expected to land the account , but it had been a long time since she had done a joint presentation . they had decided that andrew would start the pitch , and then kelly would close . she had a real gift for words , and she would be the best to wrap things up at the end . megan met kelly in the hall . hey , kelly . so todays the big day ? you and andrew pitching ? yes , and im so nervous i can hardly stand it . you always do that , and then you always close the deal , megan teased . you should know by now that youre the one with the advertising magic around here . kelly laughed nervously . well , thanks for the boost , but it just seems that nerves are part of the package for me . maybe it keeps me on my toes . hey , megan said . since everyone is so glad youre back , we planned a little supper gathering at reyes after work . if you all close the deal , we can consider it a celebration . okay , but you have to be the designated driver . i might just go wild or something . yeah , right , megan laughed , rolling her eyes . youve never been drunk in your life . tonight may be the night . this is a big deal to close . well , good luck again . megan headed down the hall to her office . half an hour later , andrew and kelly were walking down the hall toward the conference room . dont ask , or ill be sick , kelly answered . andrew squeezed her hand , and kelly felt the electrical jolt again . why was it that andrew did that to her ; he couldnt know the affect he had on her ? kelly , we have done a great job , and remember : we are the best . no problem , we have this deal . im glad one of us is absolutely sure . i dont know why i get so worked up about these things . i know it will go well . i mean , youre part of it , right ? it wasnt until andrew squeezed her hand again that kelly noticed he was still holding it . he cleared his throat and let go before they walked into the conference room . the clients were already sitting there along with bob and one of the administrative assistants . kelly and andrew set up the boards and laptop . then andrew took a deep breath and began the pitch . kelly sat back and watched him . the longer she listened to him , the less nervous she became . he was right , this was a done deal ; they had really pulled off something amazing . by the time kelly got up to speak , the butterflies in her stomach were completely gone . after the presentation , the clients asked a few questions , looked at each other , and smiled . finally , the ceo stood and shook kellys hand , then andrews . well , you two , you certainly know how to close a deal , he said . then the clients gathered their things , promised to be in touch , and left the conference room . bob immediately came up to them and smiled broadly . you two are the perfect team . i may have to put you together on the next big account and let you work your magic again . ive got another meeting , but i just wanted to tell you great job and congratulations . like i said , i know my people . promptly at 6:00 , megan knocked on kellys office door . turn off that computer . its time for your dinner . and i hear its going to be a celebration . i told you that you would knock their socks off . thanks , i am ready to get out of here . after a big presentation , i always have this tired feeling of relief . no sleepyheads tonight , megan teased . were going to party . kelly called mike on her cell before they left and told him that several coworkers wanted to take her out to eat . he congratulated her and said , stay out as late as you want . youve worked hard , and you deserve some celebrating . im going to go into the office , but i can get stacy from down the street to watch the kids . oh , and congratulations again . before going to the restaurant , megan followed kelly to the house so that kelly could leave her car there . kelly didnt want to leave it in the parking deck so late . by the time megan and kelly arrived at reyes , several colleagues were seated at the table . they waved kelly and megan over . andrew had saved them seats . congratulations , kelly , jenny said . andrew was just telling us about your amazing performance . | [["last", 47], ["dinner", 54], ["okay", 69], ["thank", 78], ["thanks", 78], ["thankest", 78], ["andrew", 85], ["andrews", 85], ["oh", 90], ["thing", 111], ["glad", 127], ["back", 138], ["personally", 157], ["hope", 162], ["stay", 171], ["life", 187], ["lifes", 187], ["office", 201], ["lot", 207], ["interesting", 224], ["chapter", 234], ["day", 257], ["big", 275], ["bigs", 275], ["presentation", 288], ["kelly", 300], ["already", 312], ["feel", 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i was mortified , but ethan did n't miss a beat . he rested his arms on the railing . `` as much as that could be true , what if it 's not ? i mean is it really worth the risk ? '' i glanced back at my mom and she looked like she was weighing the options . she stared at the dark water below her feet and then at the bright sky above her head . `` maybe i should think about it for a little bit . '' `` i think that 's probably a good idea . '' she made a path across the beam and planted her feet on the railing . ethan helped her down and we got her into the backseat of his truck . she fell asleep within minutes and i slumped my head back against the chair . `` one of my friends was tripping out of their mind one night and i had to talk him out of jumping off the roof , '' he explained . `` it was all about making her realize that there was more than one scenario . '' i nodded and we stayed quiet for the rest of the drive to my house . ethan never brought it up to me , nor did he treat me differently and i was grateful for it . after a doctor 's visit , it was determined that my mother had started to suffer from 'delusions of grandeur , ' which happens sometimes in bipolar patients . i finally pull away from the drawing when it 's nearly dark . i gather my sketchpad and pencils and head down the hill . in front of the arch iron entryway is micha , sitting on the hood of his mom 's car , wearing jeans , and a black and red plaid shirt . his head is tipped down and wisps of his blonde hair cover his forehead as he messes around with his phone . i stop a little ways off from him . his eyes lift from his phone . `` i saw you leave with your sketchpad and head this way , so i came up to check on you . '' he slides off the hood and puts his phone away . `` for a while , but i did n't want to disturb you . you looked too peaceful . '' i press my lips together and stare at him , craving to sketch him like i used to . he would sit on my bed and it was like he owned my hand . `` look , about the other night , i think - `` he strides across the grass toward me , moving so impulsively that there 's no time to react as his finger covers my lips . `` just let it be for a while , okay ? '' uncertain of his exact meaning , i nod anyway . he lets his finger fall from my lips , trailing a line down my chest , finally pulling away at the bottom of my stomach . his voice comes out ragged . i glance at the grey sky and the birds flying across it . micha she 's preoccupied during the drive and so am i. i was so pissed off about my father that i got into the car about to do something reckless , however , then i saw ella wandering down the street , and i followed her . the way she walked was very entertaining , her auburn hair blowing in the wind , and the way she swayed her ass in the short denim shorts she was wearing . it calmed me down watching her sit up on the hill and draw , but i ca n't stop thinking about the phone conversation . `` we should go somewhere , '' i announce when we drive onto the main road . ella jolts in her seat and turns away from the window . i pout , hoping it 'll win her over . `` just come with me somewhere and we can relax . '' i turn the volume of the stereo down and let my arm rest on the top of the steering wheel . `` to our spot by the lake . '' `` but it takes forever to get there . '' her eyes rise to the dark sky . `` and it 's getting late . '' `` since when have you been afraid of the dark ? '' `` it 's not the dark i 'm afraid of . '' i sigh and downshift . `` come on , just you and me . we do n't even have to talk . we can just sit in silence . '' `` fine , '' she surrenders , tossing her sketchpad into the backseat . `` just as long as you do n't ask me questions . '' i hold up my hand innocently . i 'll keep my questions to myself . '' `` i know you 've never been in the scouts before . '' i laugh , feeling the pressure lift from my chest . i 'll keep my questions to myself , but with everything else , all bets are off . '' she pretends to have an itch on her nose , but really it 's to obscure her smile and it makes me smile myself . *** its pitch black by the time we reach our spot on the shore that 's secluded by tall trees . the moon reflects against the water and the night air is a little chilly . | [["mortify", 15], ["mortifying", 15], ["mortified", 15], ["ethan", 27], ["miss", 40], ["beat", 47], ["rest", 59], ["rested", 59], ["arm", 68], ["arms", 68], ["railing", 83], ["much", 96], ["true", 118], ["mean", 147], ["meanest", 147], ["really", 160], ["worth", 166], ["risk", 175], ["riskest", 175], ["glance", 190], ["glanced", 190], ["back", 195], ["mom", 205], ["moms", 205], ["look", 220], ["looked", 220], ["like", 225], ["weigh", 242], ["weighest", 242], ["weighing", 242], ["option", 254], ["options", 254], ["stare", 267], ["stared", 267], ["dark", 279], ["water", 285], ["foot", 300], ["feet", 300], ["bright", 323], ["brights", 323], ["sky", 327], ["head", 342], ["maybe", 353], ["think", 368], 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["tipped", 1474], ["wisp", 1489], ["blonde", 1503], ["hair", 1508], ["cover", 1514], ["forehead", 1527], ["mess", 1540], ["messed", 1540], ["messing", 1540], ["around", 1547], ["phone", 1562], ["stop", 1571], ["way", 1585], ["ways", 1585], ["eye", 1609], ["eyed", 1609], ["eyes", 1609], ["lift", 1614], ["see", 1640], ["saw", 1640], ["left", 1650], ["leave", 1650], ["way", 1688], ["ways", 1688], ["come", 1700], ["came", 1700], ["check", 1712], ["slid", 1734], ["slides", 1734], ["put", 1756], ["puts", 1756], ["disturb", 1820], ["disturbed", 1820], ["peaceful", 1850], ["press", 1863], ["lip", 1871], ["lipped", 1871], ["lips", 1871], ["together", 1880], ["stare", 1890], ["stared", 1890], ["crave", 1907], ["craved", 1907], ["craving", 1907], ["sketch", 1917], ["use", 1933], ["used", 1933], ["sat", 1951], ["sit", 1951], ["bed", 1961], ["hand", 1994], ["look", 2004], ["stride", 2054], ["stridden", 2054], ["strides", 2054], ["grass", 2071], ["grassing", 2071], ["toward", 2078], ["move", 2090], 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2708], ["walked", 2708], ["auburn", 2743], ["blew", 2756], ["blow", 2756], ["blowest", 2756], ["blowing", 2756], ["wind", 2768], ["sway", 2793], ["swayed", 2793], ["ass", 2801], ["short", 2814], ["denim", 2820], ["short", 2827], ["shorts", 2827], ["calm", 2855], ["calms", 2855], ["calmed", 2855], ["watch", 2872], ["watching", 2872], ["draw", 2904], ["draws", 2904], ["drawn", 2904], ["ca", 2915], ["cas", 2915], ["think", 2933], ["thinkest", 2933], ["thinking", 2933], ["conversation", 2962], ["go", 2980], ["goest", 2980], ["somewhere", 2990], ["announce", 3006], ["onto", 3025], ["ontos", 3025], ["main", 3034], ["road", 3039], ["jolt", 3052], ["jolted", 3052], ["jolts", 3052], ["seat", 3064], ["turn", 3074], ["turns", 3074], ["window", 3095], ["windows", 3095], ["pout", 3104], ["hope", 3113], ["hoping", 3113], ["win", 3124], ["come", 3148], ["relax", 3183], ["relaxed", 3183], ["turn", 3195], ["volume", 3206], ["volumed", 3206], ["stereo", 3220], ["stereos", 3220], ["arm", 3240], ["top", 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4026], ["itch", 4042], ["itches", 4042], ["nose", 4054], ["nosed", 4054], ["nosing", 4054], ["obscure", 4084], ["obscures", 4084], ["smile", 4094], ["pitch", 4139], ["reach", 4166], ["shore", 4188], ["seclude", 4205], ["secluding", 4205], ["secluded", 4205], ["tall", 4213], ["tree", 4219], ["treed", 4219], ["treeing", 4219], ["trees", 4219], ["moon", 4230], ["moons", 4230], ["reflect", 4239], ["reflectest", 4239], ["reflects", 4239], ["air", 4275], ["airs", 4275], ["airing", 4275], ["chilly", 4294]] |
no , the only option open to her was the future , and she 'd face that , sagging skin and all . peter 's voice cut into her musings . `` can i invite a friend over tonight ? '' carol opened the bathroom door and frowned at her son . `` i ca n't believe you 'd even ask that . no one 's allowed here when i 'm not home . '' `` but , mom , '' he whined . `` we 're not discussing this now . i have a class to teach , and i 'm already five minutes behind schedule . '' she blamed peter for that . if he had n't tried to convince her how attractive she was , she would n't be late in the first place . class went well . they were into the third week of the eight-week course sponsored by ford hospital in a suburb of portland , oregon . the couples were generally first-time parents , and their eagerness and excitement for the adventure that lay before them filled each session with infectious enthusiasm . if carol had known when she was carrying peter that he was to be her one and only pregnancy , she would 've taken time to appreciate it more . since she was the last to leave the building , carol turned off the lights and hauled her material out to her car . the parking lot was well lit , and she hurried through the rain , sliding inside the car . she drew in a deep breath and turned the ignition key . the ford coughed and objected before roaring to life . her car had been acting a little funny lately , but it was nothing she could pinpoint . satisfied that there was n't anything too terribly wrong , she eased into traffic on the busy street . it was n't until she 'd stopped for the red light at the first intersection that her car released a series of short pathetic coughs , only this time it really sounded ... sick . she cried as the light turned green . pushing down on the accelerator , she leaped ahead , but it was apparent that the problem , whatever it might be , was serious . `` all right , all right , '' she said , `` i get the message . you need a mechanic and fast . '' a quick glance down the business-lined thoroughfare revealed there was n't a single service station in sight . `` how about if i promise not to let peter behind the wheel for a while . the ailing car belched loudly and a plume of black smoke engulfed the rear end . `` okay , so you 're not interested in a deal . '' turning into the first driveway she happened upon , carol found herself in a restaurant parking lot . the minute she entered an empty space , the car uttered one last groan and promptly died . and of course she 'd left her cell phone charging-at home . for a full minute carol just sat here . her car disagreed . climbing out , she walked around it , as if she 'd magically discover a cure lying on the ground . the rain was coming down in sheets , and within seconds , she was drenched . in an act of angry frustration , she kicked a tire , then yelped when the heel of her pump broke off . with no other alternative , she limped into the restaurant , intent on heading for the ladies ' room . once she composed herself , she 'd deal with the car and call peter to tell him she was going to be late . alex thought that if his date giggled one more time , he 'd have to walk away from the table . thanks to this woman , he was going slowly insane . he should know by now never to accept a blind date . the first thing bambi did when they were seated at the restaurant was to pick up the saltshaker and start discussing the `` amazing '' qualities of crystal . it took alex five minutes to make the connection . the saltshaker was made of crystal . `` i 'm crazy about hot tubs , '' bambi said , leaning forward to offer him a generous view of her ample br**sts . `` they 're ... hot , all right , '' alex murmured , examining the menu without much enthusiasm . his friend-at least someone he used to consider a friend-claimed bambi was every man 's dream . her name should have been his first clue . once they 'd met , he 'd learned her given name was michelle , but she 'd started calling herself bambi because she loved forest animals so much . animals like deer and chipmunks and hamsters . alex did n't have the heart to tell her that in all the years he 'd been camping , he had yet to stumble upon a single family of hamsters grazing in a meadow . when the waitress came to take their order , it took bambi five minutes to explain how she wanted her salad served . okay , he was exaggerating . he ordered a steak and asked for it rare . `` i 'm on a diet , '' bambi said , once the waitress had left . | [["option", 20], ["open", 25], ["future", 47], ["face", 65], ["sag", 80], ["sagging", 80], ["skin", 85], ["peter", 101], ["peters", 101], ["voice", 110], ["cut", 114], ["musing", 131], ["musings", 131], ["invite", 149], ["invites", 149], ["friend", 158], ["tonight", 171], ["carol", 182], ["caroling", 182], ["carolling", 182], ["open", 189], ["opened", 189], ["bathroom", 202], ["door", 207], ["frown", 219], ["frowns", 219], ["frowned", 219], ["son", 230], ["ca", 240], ["cas", 240], ["believe", 252], ["even", 264], ["evens", 264], ["ask", 268], ["allow", 293], ["allowed", 293], ["home", 317], ["homing", 317], ["mom", 335], ["moms", 335], ["whine", 350], ["whined", 350], ["discuss", 377], ["discusses", 377], ["discussest", 377], ["discussing", 377], ["class", 403], 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["order", 4426], ["orderest", 4426], ["ordered", 4426], ["steak", 4434], ["steaks", 4434], ["ask", 4444], ["asked", 4444], ["rare", 4456], ["diet", 4476]] |