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f000001,21.480,24.800,"translated from the russian by constance garnet." |
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f000002,24.800,32.800,"THIRD NIGHT TODAY was a gloomy, rainy day without a glimmer of sunlight, like the old age before me." |
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f000003,32.800,45.800,"I am oppressed by such strange thoughts, such gloomy sensations; questions still so obscure to me are crowding into my brain and I seem to have neither power nor will to settle them." |
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f000004,45.800,48.600,"It's not for me to settle all this !" |
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f000005,48.600,51.200,"Today we shall not meet." |
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f000006,51.200,56.840,"Yesterday, when we said goodbye, the clouds began gathering over the ky and a mist rose." |
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f000007,56.840,71.040,"I said that tomorrow it would be a bad day; she made no answer, she did not want to speak against her wishes; for her that day was bright and clear, not one cloud should obscure her happiness." |
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f000008,71.040,77.200,"If it rains we shall not see each other, she said, I shall not come." |
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f000009,77.200,82.240,"I thought that she would not notice today's rain, and yet she has not come." |
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f000010,82.240,87.080,"Yesterday was our third interview, our third white night...." |
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f000011,87.080,90.320,"But how fine joy and happiness makes any one !" |
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f000012,90.320,92.880,"How brim ming over with love the heart is !" |
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f000013,92.880,99.320,"One seems longing to pour out one's whole heart; one wants everything to be gay, every thing to be laughing." |
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f000014,99.320,101.320,"And how infectious that joy is !" |
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f000015,101.320,120.960,"There was such a softness in her words, such a kindly feeling in her heart towards me yesterday.... How solicitous and. friendly she was; how tenderly she tried to give me couragej Oh, the coquetry ~of kappine'ssT While I. TT I tookTt all for the genuine thing, I thought that she." |
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f000016,120.960,123.320,"But, my God, how could I have thought it ?" |
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f000017,123.320,142.520,"How could I have beensp blind, when everything had been taken by another already, wherTnothTng wasmine; wnenmetrher very tenderness to ' else hut jojtj,htlioughtofseeing another man so soon, desire to include me, too, m her happiness ?..." |
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f000018,142.520,149.320,"When he did not conie,en~waiteTiirrvain, she frowned, she grew timid and discouraged." |
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f000019,149.320,166.840,"Her movements, her words, were no longer so light, so playful, so gay; and, strange to say, she redoubled her attentiveness to me, as though instinctively desiring to lavish on me what she desired for herself so anxiously, if her wishes were not accomplished." |
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f000020,166.840,176.480,"My Nastenka.was so downcast, so dismayed, that I think she realized at last that I loved her, and was sorry D WHITE NIGHTS for my poor love." |
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f000021,176.480,189.280,"So when we are unhappy we feel the unhappi ness of others more; feeling is not destroyed but concentrated... I went to meet her with a full heart, and was all impatience." |
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f000022,189.280,195.280,"I had no presentiment that I should feel as I do now, that it would not all end happily." |
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f000023,195.280,199.200,"She was beaming with pleasure; she was expecting an answer." |
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f000024,199.200,200.760,"The answer was himself." |
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f000025,200.760,203.400,"He was to come, to run at her call." |
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f000026,203.400,206.120,"She arrived a whole hour before I did." |
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f000027,206.120,210.160,"At first she giggled at everything, laughed at every word I said." |
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f000028,210.160,214.280,"I began talking, but relapsed into silence." |
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f000029,214.280,221.280,"Do you know why I am so glad, she said, so glad to look at you ? why I like you so much today ?" |
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f000030,221.280,222.080,"Well ?" |
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f000031,222.080,225.600,"I asked, and my heart began throbbing." |
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f000032,225.600,228.840,"Irlikcyoji, because you have not fallen in love with me." |
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f000033,228.840,238.680,"You know that some~meirtn your place would nave been pestering and worrying me, would have been sighing and miserable, while you are so nice !" |
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f000034,238.680,242.080,"Then she wrung my hand so hard that I almost cried out." |
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f000035,242.080,244.120,"She laughed." |
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f000036,244.120,247.760,"Ciuodncss, what a friend you are ! she began gravely a minute later." |
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f000037,247.760,250.400,"God sent you to me." |
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f000038,250.400,253.560,"What would have hap pened to me if you had not been with me now ?" |
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f000039,253.560,255.480,"How disin terested you are !" |
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f000040,255.480,257.600,"How truly you care for me !" |
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f000041,257.600,271.760,"When I am married we will be great friends, morejjian brother and sister; I sKalTcare almost as I do for him.. I felt horribly sad at that moment, yet something like laughter was stirring in my soul." |
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f000042,271.760,278.800,"You are very much upset, I said; you are frightened; you think he won't come." |
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f000043,278.800,287.160,"Oh dear ! she answered; if I were less happy, I believe I should cry at your lack of faith, at your reproaches." |
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f000044,287.160,296.640,"However, you have made me think and have given me a lot to think about; but I shall think later, and now I will own that you are right." |
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f000045,296.640,304.440,"Yes, I am somehow not myself; I am all suspense, and feel everything as it were too lightly." |
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f000046,304.440,307.680,"But hush ! that's enough about feelings.." |
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f000047,307.680,312.640,"At that moment we heard footsteps, and in the darkness we saw a figure coming towards us." |
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f000048,312.640,318.360,"We both started; she almost cried out; I dropped her hand and made a movement as though to walk away." |
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f000049,318.360,321.840,"But we were mistaken, it was not he." |
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f000050,321.840,322.960,"What are you afraid of ?" |
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f000051,322.960,324.320,"Why did you let go of my hand ?" |
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f000052,324.320,326.640,"WHITE NIGHTS she said, giving it to me again." |
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f000053,326.640,330.480,"Come, what is it ?" |
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f000054,330.480,335.960,"We will meet him together; I want him to see how fond we are of each other." |
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f000055,335.960,338.160,"How fond we are of each other !" |
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f000056,338.160,339.520,"I cried." |
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f000057,339.520,344.160,"Oh, Nastenka, Nastenka, I thought, how much you have told me in that saying !" |
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f000058,344.160,349.080,"Such fondness at certain moments makes the heart cold and the soul heavy." |
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f000059,349.080,351.600,"Ynurhai\d is cold, mine burns like fire." |
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f000060,351.600,353.640,"How blind you are, Nastenka !" |
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f000061,353.640,356.640,"Oh, how unbearable a happy person is sometimes !" |
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f000062,356.640,360.520,"But I could not be angry with you !" |
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f000063,360.520,364.320,"At last my heart was too full." |
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f000064,364.320,365.200,"Listen, Nastenka !" |
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f000065,365.200,367.280,"I cried." |
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f000066,367.280,370.760,"Do you know how it has been with me all day." |
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f000067,370.760,372.040,"Why, how, how ?" |
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f000068,372.040,373.440,"Tell me quickly !" |
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f000069,373.440,375.440,"Why have you said nothing all this time ?" |
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f000070,375.440,389.560,"To begin with, Nastenka, when I had carried out all your commissions, given the letter, gone to see your good friends, then... then I went home and went to bed." |
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f000071,389.560,401.280,"she interrupted, laughing. yes, almost all, I answered restraining myself, for foolish tears were already starting into my eyes." |
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f000072,401.280,406.640,"I woke an hour before our appointment, and yet, as it were, I had not been asleep." |
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f000073,406.640,408.560,"I don't know what happened to me." |
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f000074,408.560,425.280,"I came to tell you all about it, feeling as though time were standing still, feeling as though one sensation, one feeling must remain with me from that time for ever; feeling as though one minute must go on for all eternity, and as though all life had come to a standstill for me...." |
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f000075,425.280,434.840,"When I woke up it seemed as though some musical motive long familiar, heard somewhere in the past, forgotten and voluptuously sweet, had come back to me now." |
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f000076,434.840,442.040,"It seemed to me that it had been clamouring at my heart all my life, and only now...." |
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f000077,442.040,447.160,"Oh my goodness, my goodness, Nastenka interrupted, what does all that mean ?" |
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f000078,447.160,449.240,"I don't understand a word." |
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f000079,449.240,461.520,"All, Nastenka, I wanted somehow to convey to you that strange impression.. I began in a plaintive voice, in which there still lay hid a hope, though a very faint one." |
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f000080,461.520,462.080,"Leave off." |
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f000081,462.080,467.760,"Hush ! she said, and in one instant the sly puss had guessed." |
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f000082,467.760,486.520,"Suddenly she became extraordinarily talkative, gay, mis chievous; she took my arm, laughed, wanted me to laugh too, WHITE NIGHTS and every confused word I uttered evoked from her prolonged ringing laughter.. I began to feel angry, she had suddenly begun flirting." |
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f000083,486.520,493.080,"Do you know, she began, I feel a little vexed that you are not in love with me ?" |
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f000084,493.080,495.280,"There's no understanding human nature !" |
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f000085,495.280,507.720,"But all the same, Mr. Unapproachable, you cannot blame me for being so simple; I tell you everything, everything, whatever foolish thought comes into my head." |
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f000086,507.720,508.480,"Listen !" |
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f000087,508.480,514.080,"That's eleven, I believe, I said as the slow chime of a bell rang out from a distant tower." |
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f000088,514.080,521.520,"She suddenly stopped, left off laughing and began to count." |
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f000089,521.520,527.280,"Yes, it's eleven, she said at last in a timid, uncertain voice." |
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f000090,527.280,540.080,"I regretted at once that I had frightened her, making her count the strokes, and I cursed myself for my spiteful impulse; I felt sorry for her, and did not know how to atone for what I had done." |
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f000091,540.080,547.920,"I began comforting her, seeking for reasons for his not coming, advancing various arguments, proofs." |
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f000092,547.920,562.720,"No one could have been easier to deceive than she was at that moment; and, indeed, any one at such a moment listens gladly to any consolation, whatever it may be, and is overjoyed if a shadow of excuse can be found." |
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f000093,562.720,582.200,"And indeed it's an absurd thing, I began, warming to my task and admiring the extraordinary clearness of my argument, why, he could not have come; you have muddled and confused me, Nastenka, so that I too, have lost count of the time...." |
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f000094,582.200,593.440,"Only think : he can scarcely have received the letter; suppose he is not able to come, suppose he is going to answer the letter, could not come before tomorrow." |
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f000095,593.440,597.680,"I will go for it as soon as it's light tomorrow and let you know at once." |
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f000096,597.680,607.240,"Consider, there are thousands of possibilities; perhaps he was not at home when the letter came, and may not have read it even now !" |
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f000097,607.240,610.160,"Anything may happen, you know." |
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f000098,610.160,611.560,"Yes, yes ! said Nastenka." |
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f000099,611.560,614.160,"I did not think of that." |
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f000100,614.160,623.680,"Of course anything may happen ? she went on in a tone that offered no opposition, though some other faraway thought could be heard like a vexatious discord in it." |
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f000101,623.680,633.760,"I tell you what you must do, she said, you go as early as possible tomorrow morning, and if you get anything let me know at once." |
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f000102,633.760,635.920,"You know where I live, don't you ?" |
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f000103,635.920,638.840,"And she began repeating her address to me." |
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f000104,638.840,642.240,"WHITE NIGHTS Then she suddenly became so tender, so solicitous with me." |
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f000105,642.240,652.680,"She seemed to listen attentively to what I told her; but when I asked her some question she was silent, was confused, and turned her head away." |
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f000106,652.680,656.080,"I looked into her eyes yes, she was crying." |
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f000107,656.080,658.160,"How can you ?" |
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f000108,658.160,659.400,"How can you ?" |
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f000109,659.400,662.000,"Oh, what a baby you are ! what childishness !" |
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f000110,662.000,663.160,"Come, come !" |
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f000111,663.160,670.600,"She tried to smile, to calm herself, but her chin was quivering and her bosom was still heaving." |
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f000112,670.600,676.320,"I was thinking about you, she said after a minute's silence." |
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f000113,676.320,679.680,"You are so kind that I should be a stone if I did not feel it." |
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f000114,679.680,682.720,"Do you know what has occurred to me now ?" |
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f000115,682.720,684.480,"I was comparing you two." |
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f000116,684.480,692.160,"Why isn't he you ? good as you, though I love him more than you." |
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f000117,692.160,693.160,"I made no answer." |
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f000118,693.160,694.200,"Sliem?" |
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f000119,694.200,695.600,"eperTerfo say something." |
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f000120,695.600,700.640,"Of course, it may be that I don't understand him fully yet." |
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f000121,700.640,708.280,"You know I was always as it were afraid of him; he was always so grave, as it were so proud." |
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f000122,708.280,715.760,"Of course I know it's only that he seems like that, I know there is more tenderness in his heart than in mine." |
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f000123,715.760,728.120,"I remember how he looked at me when I went in to him do you remember ? with my bundle; but yet I respect him too much, and doesn't that show that we are not equals ?" |
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f000124,728.120,737.400,"No, Nastenka, no, I answered, it shows that you love him more than anything in the world, and far more than yourself." |
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f000125,737.400,743.880,"Yes, supposing that is so, answered Nastenka naively." |
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f000126,743.880,746.640,"But do you know what strikes me now ?" |
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f000127,746.640,754.480,"Only I am not talking about him now, but speaking generally; all this came into my mind some time ago." |
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f000128,754.480,759.240,"Tell me, how is it that we can't all be like brothers together ?" |
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f000129,759.240,766.160,"Why is it that even the best of men always seem to hide something from other people and to keep something back ?" |
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f000130,766.160,773.080,"Why not say straight out what is in one's heart, when one knows that one is not speaking idly ?" |
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f000131,773.080,785.200,"As it is every one seems harsher than he really is, as though all were afraid of doing injustice to their feelings, by being too quick to express them." |
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f000132,785.200,796.400,"Oh, Nastenka, what you say is true; but there are many reasons for that, I broke in suppressing my own feelings at that moment more than ever." |
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f000133,796.400,798.480,"No, no ! she answered with deep feeling." |
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f000134,798.480,802.880,"Here you, for instance, are not like other people !" |
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f000135,802.880,817.160,"I really don't know how to tell you what I feel; but it seems to me that you, for instance... at the present moment. it seems to me that you are sacrificing WHITE NIGHTS something for me, she added timidly, with a fleeting glance at me." |
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f000136,817.160,821.840,"Forgive me for saying so, I am a simple girl you know." |
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f000137,821.840,839.120,"I have seen very little of life, and I really sometimes don't know how to say things, she added in a voice that quivered with some hidden feeling, while she tried to smile; but I only wanted to tell you that I am grateful, that I feel it all too..." |
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f000138,839.120,841.880,"Oh, may God give you happiness for it !" |
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f000139,841.880,848.560,"What you told me about your dreamer is quite untrue now that is, I mean, it's not true of you." |
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f000140,848.560,853.240,"You are recovering, you are quite a different man from what you de scribed." |
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f000141,853.240,858.600,"If you ever fall in love with some one, God give you happiness with her !" |
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f000142,858.600,861.960,"I won't wish anything for her, for she will be happy with you." |
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f000143,861.960,867.040,"I know, I am a woman myself, so you must believe me when I tell you so.'" |
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f000144,867.040,871.360,"She ceased speaking, and pressed my hand warmly." |
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f000145,871.360,873.720,"I too could not speak without emotion." |
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f000146,873.720,875.160,"Some minutes passed." |
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f000147,875.160,881.040,"Yes, it's clear he won't come tonight, she said at last raising her head." |
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f000148,881.040,882.560,"It's late." |
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f000149,882.560,888.000,"He will come tomorrow, I said in the most firm and con vincing tone." |
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f000150,888.000,892.800,"Yes, she added with no sign of her former depression." |
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f000151,892.800,896.720,"I see for myself now that he could not come till tomorrow." |
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f000152,896.720,900.240,"Well, goodbye, till tomorrow. '" |
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f000153,900.240,903.320,"If it rains perhaps I shall not come." |
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f000154,903.320,906.080,"But the day after tomorrow, I shall come." |
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f000155,906.080,913.160,"I shall come for certain, whatever happens; be sure to be here, I want to see you, I will tell you everything." |
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f000156,913.160,921.600,"And then when we parted she gave me her hand and said, looking at me candidly : We shall always be together, shan't we?" |
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f000157,921.600,924.280,"Oh, Nastenka, Nastenka !" |
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f000158,924.280,927.560,"If only you knew how lonely I am now !" |
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f000159,927.560,935.520,"As soon as it struck nine o'clock I could not stay indoors, but put on my things, and went out in spite of the weather." |
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f000160,935.520,937.840,"I was then, silt in: on our seat." |
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f000161,937.840,944.440,"I went to her street, but I felt ashamed, and turned back without looking at their windows, when I was two steps from her door." |
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f000162,944.440,947.760,"I went home more depressed than I had ever been before." |
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f000163,947.760,949.720,"What a damp, dreary day !" |
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f000164,949.720,953.000,"If it had been fine I should have walked about all niirht...." |
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f000165,953.000,954.920,"But tomorrow, tomorrow !" |
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f000166,954.920,956.680,"Toimrrmv she will tell me thing." |
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f000167,956.680,959.600,"The letter has not come today, however." |
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f000168,959.600,961.560,"But that waa to be expected." |
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f000169,961.560,963.560,"They are together by now..." |
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f000170,963.560,967.320,"end of third night." |