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Pun_recognition

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hom_504

This is a play on words. An "abacus" is an old calculating tool used for counting. To "count on" something means to depend on a promise happening but "count on" also refers to being able to use the abacus to count the amount of something.

The bargain store promised a free abacus with every purchase , but I wouldn ' t count on it .

The given text is a pun

hom_503

This is a pun on the word 'proof' which in this context means the wino wanted evidence that his drink was watered down, but 'proof' is also attributed to a drinks alcohol content

When the wino suspected his muscatel was watered down , he needed more proof .

The given text is a pun

hom_502

A staple diet refers to a diet that consists of foods eaten regularly. A staple can refer to a piece of thin wire driven by a stapler through sheets of paper to fasten them together. The joke is referencing a goat that is eating office supplies, so consuming a "staple diet" could mean consuming a diet high in staples (thin metal wires) or a diet high in regular foods.

A goat that ate office supplies was on a staple diet .

The given text is a pun

hom_500

This is a pun on 'shots' which in this context means the firing of a gun or cannon, but 'shots' are also a kind of drink you can get at a bar

There was a report of shots fired in a local bar . The police don ' t know what triggered the commotion .

The given text is a pun

hom_5

"Forge ahead" means to make good progress. The word "forge" is a verb that references shaping a metal object by heating it in a fire or furnace. A blacksmith is a person who makes and repairs, or forges objects from iron over a fire. The joke is playing on the word "forge" and its different meanings, and relating it to a blacksmith's daughter.

She was only a Blacksmith ' s daughter , but she knew how to forge ahead .

The given text is a pun

hom_497

The joke is a pun. Wet concrete needs to dry before it hardens, and anything pressed into it would leave an impression or indent in the shape. The phrase 'leaving a bad impression' generally is used to mean not behaving in an appropriate or respectable manner when meeting someone for the first time.

When he fell in the wet concrete he left a bad impression .

The given text is a pun

hom_496

In music, a score is a musical document that contains parts of an orchestral performance. Credit means acknowledgement. So, this person has "scores of works to her credit" meaning it is acknowledged that she has many works done in her name. Credit also has another meaning. Credit is a type of currency built on trust. It is something that is used to obtain goods or services. When credit is used, there is credit debt that can only be paid off with money. So, I think this joke is tying in "credit score" which is a score that lets others know how responsible you are when it comes to paying off credit with "musical scores" and acknowledgement. This joke is playing on the words "credit" and "scores" and their different meanings.

She ' s a composer who has scores of works to her credit .

The given text is a pun

hom_493

This is a pun on the word "hash". To "hash it over" means to have a discussion to come to a resolution. It has the word hash in it. Hash is a type of food and this joke is about cooks.

Two cooks disagreed but decided to hash it over .

The given text is a pun

hom_485

This is a pun on 'connections' which in this context means people with whom one has social or professional contact or to whom one is related, especially those with influence and able to offer one help, but in electricians terms 'connections' means the placing of parts of an electric circuit in contact so that a current may flow.

She was only a Electrician ' s daughter , but she certainly had good connections .

The given text is a pun

hom_481

When tea is getting made, the tea leaves need to be steeped in hot water, which means they need to sit in hot water. "Too steep" can mean too high. The joke is referring to the price of tea being too steep, or too high. The joke is playing on the word "steep" which is a word used to describe how tea is made, and also refers to how expensive the tea is.

I was going to buy some loose tea , but the price was too steep .

The given text is a pun

hom_478

To "pay attention" is to give attention to someone by watching and/or listening to them. To "pay someone" is to give that someone money for work done, or goods received. The joke is talking about someone that is poor. A poor person is someone that often lacks sufficient money to purchase goods or services. "We were so poor... we couldn't even afford to pay attention." The joke is playing on the word "pay" and its different meanings and uses.

We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn ' t even afford to pay attention .

The given text is a pun

hom_473

The joke is a pun. A ventriloquist is a performer who makes it appear as if their puppets have a voice of their own. Sometimes the puppets are referred to as 'dummies'. 'Dummy' is another word for stupid or unintelligent. The phrase 'just a bunch of dummies' sounds as if the speaker is saying they aren't smart, but they might literally be the dummies the ventriloquist performs with.

Did you see guys that Bob the ventriloquist hangs out with ? They ' re nothing special , just a bunch of dummies .

The given text is a pun

hom_47

I think the joke is a pun. 'Groundbreaking' can mean something that is the first of its kind, or a remarkable step in progress. To start constructing a building, a foundation needs to be built by 'breaking' the ground.

The decision to begin construction on the Empire State Building was a groundbreaking historical event .

The given text is a pun

hom_464

The joke is a pun. Stone tools were eventually outdated in human history as people began to make tools using metals such as iron. To 'iron out' something it to fix any issues or inconveniences with it.

Early stone tools had many problems that were eventually ironed out .

The given text is a pun

hom_463

To "pine away" means to lose vigor or health because of grief. A lumberjack is someone who cuts trees down professionally. The word "pine" can be used to describe a type of coniferous tree. The joke is playing on the word "pine" and its different meanings.

Old lumberjacks never die , they just pine away .

The given text is a pun

hom_452

When something "ends in ruins" it means that something ends in a state of complete disorder. Ruins can also refer to the remains of a civilization's architecture. An archaeologist is someone who studies human history through the excavation of sites and the analysis of artifacts and other physical remains. It's a great phrase to link with an archaeologist.

An archaeologist ' s career ended in ruins .

The given text is a pun

hom_451

This is a pun on the word "flag. "Flag it away" means to get rid of it or give up on it. This phrase has the word "flag" in it. Vexillology is the study of flags.

I tried hard to get into vexillology , but , in the end , had to flag it away .

The given text is a pun

hom_449

A calf is a young domestic cow or bull

She was only a Cattleman ' s daughter , but she couldn ' t keep her calves together .

The given text is a pun

hom_440

This is a play on the word ground. Ground can mean the surface of the earth. Ground is also the past tense of the word grind, coffee is ground up. Coffee tasted like mud because it was ground (as in the coffee used to be a piece of the surface of the Earth).

The coffee tasted like mud because it was ground a couple of minutes ago .

The given text is a pun

hom_434

This is a pun. A cleric is a role related to the church. A clerical error is a term used to refer to a mistake by an office worker. When a priest makes a mistake it could literally be called a clerical error.

When a priest makes a mistake in church it ' s a clerical error .

The given text is a pun

hom_432

The joke is a play on words. With playing cards, one person is the 'dealer' and they 'deal' the cards out to each player by drawing and placing them before each player. Saying 'I'll deal with you later' means 'I will take care of you later.' Since the person thinks they are a deck of cards, it could be taken to mean dealing cards out.

Doctor , doctor , I keep thinking I ' m a deck of cards . - I ' ll deal with you later . Next !

The given text is a pun

hom_430

"Slipping up" means being sloppy, or not thorough about work being done. Ice is a slippery substance. If someone is not careful when they are walking on ice, they can slip. To slip is to lose one's balance or footing. This joke is playing on the word "slippery" and how it relates to poor quality, but also falling on ice.

The ice at the rink has many ruts . I think the maintenance crew is slipping up .

The given text is a pun

hom_43

Case can be short for suitcase. A suitcase is a case with a handle and a hinged lid. It's considered luggage. To "make a good case" means to "make a good argument" for something. So, here the luggage salespeople have to be convincing in getting you to buy their luggage by creating a good case. The joke is centered on the word "case" and how it can be used to describe luggage, but also a persuasive perspective.

Luggage salespeople have to make a good case for you to buy .

The given text is a pun

hom_429

The joke is a pun. If you break the tip of a pencil, there is no point on the pencil until it is resharpened. To say something is 'pointless' means to say that it has no purpose.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless .

The given text is a pun

hom_424

This joke is a pun. Wool is generally used for knitting. However, to knit one's brow is to move the eyebrows together in a way that shows that one is thinking about something or is worried or angry.

' ' I ' ve run out of wool , ' ' said Tom , knitting his brow .

The given text is a pun

hom_422

The joke is a play on words. The phrase 'you don't know what you're missing' generally is used to describe that something is really good and that the person in question would probably really like it. However, 'missing' in this context could mean missing shots on a target. Since the person is wearing a blindfold, they won't see what shots have missed, and therefore 'they don't know what they are missing'.

If you wear a blindfold at the shooting range , you won ' t know what you ' re missing .

The given text is a pun

hom_412

The word change can refer to metal coins, and pennies are a type of metal coin. The word change can also mean "make different". The customer in the joke wanted "change in the food". This could be interpreted as wanting the food to be different, maybe change the seasoning, or wanting metal coins in the food. The joke is playing on the phrase "change in the food".

Waiter , there are pennies in my soup ! ' ' Well , sir , you said you ' d stop eating here if there wasn ' t some change in the food . ' ' *

The given text is a pun

hom_411

This is a pun on 'align' which in this context means to come together in agreement or alliance, but it's also used because 'align' can also mean lie in a straight line, or in correct relative positions and if you use a ruler to make these you'll get a straight line

Two companies that manufactured rulers decided to align .

The given text is a pun

hom_408

This is a pun on the phrase 'pass the time' which means to let time or a period of time go by especially while doing something enjoyable. However, 'pass' can also mean to discharge from the body, in this case the watch passing through the body

After Junior swallowed the watch he had to wait to pass the time .

The given text is a pun

hom_406

Having knowledge of the periodic table of elements is important when experimenting with nuclear weapons. I think the joke is trying to say that the element of surprise is what was discovered, but are treating surprise as if it's a pure substance with atoms that have the same number of protons in their nuclei. The expression "element of surprise" just means something that causes shock.

Early nuclear experimenters discovered an element of surprise .

The given text is a pun

hom_405

This is a pun on 'mint condition' which usually means a state of being like new, which is how collectors like to keep their items. But it's also being used because 'mint' is a common flavor of mouthwash

He collects mouthwash bottles , and they ' re all in mint condition .

The given text is a pun

hom_402

The joke is a pun. When one says a device or some service 'stinks' it means that service doesn't work correctly or is difficult to use or bad in some other way. 'Stinks' can also refer to the odor of something that smells bad, such as a skunk.

I crossed a cell phone with a skunk , and now the service stinks .

The given text is a pun

hom_400

This is a play on words. A "fly" is a buzzing insect but "fly" is also a term for a trouser zip, which is something a tailor is likely to work on.

' ' Waiter , there ' s a fly in my soup ! ' ' ' ' Force of habit , sir , the chef used to be a tailor .

The given text is a pun

hom_399

Pencils are tools used to draw pictures. A draw can also mean a tie. "The outcome was a draw" can mean that the outcome was a drawing, or the outcome was a tie since the pencils are in a race. This joke is a play on the word draw.

Two pencils decided to have a race . The outcome was a draw .

The given text is a pun

hom_395

The joke is that the phrase 'what would you take for this' can sound like the person is asking for a price. The person is asking the doctor about a cold and likely actually means 'what medicine would you prescribe for this cold?' The doctor just responds asking for an offer as if it was a trade being negotiated.

Doctor , Doctor , what would you take for this cold ? - Make me an offer . Next .

The given text is a pun

hom_394

This is a pun on 'loaded' which in this context is meant to mean he had a lot of work to do, but it's used because 'loaded' can also mean 'being drunk'

For the office drunk : He generally found him loaded with work to do .

The given text is a pun

hom_393

This is a pun on the words "tissue" and "blowing". Tissue can refer to a part of the body or the kind you blow your nose into. "Blowing it" can refer to messing things up or the kind of blowing you do into a tissue.

Those working in tissue research and testing are always blowing it .

The given text is a pun

hom_392

I think I understand. Nobel prize is given to people for outstanding contributions to science and humanity. The big band theory is a famous theory of the creation of the universe. Saying Nobel got a 'big bang' out of it, means Nobel liked the thing a lot. The wording was chosen specifically because of the big bang theory.

Nobel got a big bang out of it .

The given text is a pun

hom_390

The word date can mean to have a romantic time together. A date is also a type of fruit. Dates come from a palm tree. The joke can mean that the two palm trees are enjoying a date (the fruit) together, or a date (a romantic time together).

One palm tree said to another ' let ' s have a date . '

The given text is a pun

hom_39

This is a pun on the phrase 'wrong on so many levels' which means wrong in many ways, to a great degree, or to the point of being disturbing. However, the phrase is also being used because 'levels' is also defined as a flat tract of land, which parking garages are made up of

Did you hear about the crime that happened in a parking garage ? It was wrong on so many levels .

The given text is a pun

hom_389

This is a play on words. The phrase words "making cuts" refers to laying off workers due to budget concerns but "cuts" also refers to the literal cutting of hair that happens at a barbershop.

The owner of the hair salon had to make cuts on his staff .

The given text is a pun

hom_386

A florist is someone who sells and arranges flowers. A flower arrangement is a display of cut flowers used for decorative purposes. An arranged marriage is a marriage that is planned by families of the bride and groom. This joke is playing on the word "arranged" because it can relate to marriage and flowers.

Two florists got married . It was an arranged marriage .

The given text is a pun

hom_383

This is a play on words using the phrase "for a song". "For a song" is an expression that means "cheaply". The pop singer bought the house at a low price. "For a song" could also be taken literally, in this case a pop singer singing a song in exchange for a house.

A pop singer bought a new house for a song .

The given text is a pun

hom_382

This is a pun on the word "beef". "Beef" is meat from cows that can be made into gravy or eaten with gravy poured on top. The phrase "have beef" is an idiom that means to be angry or annoyed at someone or something. The gravy still had lumps of beef in it. The person was bothered by the gravy's lumpiness so he "had beef" with it.

When it was lumpy he had a beef with his gravy .

The given text is a pun

hom_381

The joke is a pun on the phrase 'lose their drive'. A drive in golf is a good swing and hit of the golf ball to launch it closer to the hole. 'Losing one's drive' can also mean losing desire to do something. This doesn't exactly relate to death, but if death instead meant retirement or something similar to quitting, then the joke works.

OLD GOLFERS never die , they just lose their drive .

The given text is a pun

hom_378

When something has a funny taste, it means that it tastes unusual. When something is funny, it means that something is amusing and elicits laughter. A clown is a performer with a painted face that entertains others, and tries to be funny. A circus lion won't eat a clown because they taste unusual. The joke is playing on the word "funny" and its different meanings.

A circus lion won ' t eat clowns because they taste funny .

The given text is a pun

hom_375

A referee is an official who enforces the rule of a sport. To settle a score means to take revenge on someone for something they did to you in the past. Settling a score can also mean to come to an agreement on a score. This is the literal interpretation.

Two referees went head to head because they had a score to settle .

The given text is a pun

hom_374

This is a pun on the word "tips". Pencil sharpeners sharpen pencil tips. Tips can also refer to money you give a service worker for good service, and is usual isn't a lot. The pencil sharpeners have a tough life because the only money they get is from tips.

Pencil sharpeners have a tough life - they live off tips .

The given text is a pun

hom_373

This is a play on words. The word "rough estimate" means a general guess but a "rough" is also an area of a golf course covered in tall grass.

The golfer guessed that his ball landed 20 feet off the fairway . Of course , that was just a rough estimate .

The given text is a pun

hom_371

This is a pun on the word "tapered". Tapered off means decreased. Tapered off has the word taper in it. A taper is a slender candle. The joke is about a candle factory.

Business at the candle factory tapered off after the holidays .

The given text is a pun

hom_367

This is a pun on 'terminal illness' which is usually defined as a disease or condition which can't be cured and is likely to lead to someone's death. However, it's also being used here because there are terminals in airports

If you get sick at the airport it could be a terminal illness .

The given text is a pun

hom_366

This is a pay on words. The word "prune" refers to the horticultural practice of pruning, or removing certain parts of a plant. However, a "prune" is also a type of dried plum.

When the plums dry on your tree , it ' s time to prune .

The given text is a pun

hom_364

The joke is a pun. To 'pony up' means to pay money, especially in an agreement or settlement. A young horse is called a 'pony'.

Five brothers wanted to buy a horse , so they all had to pony up .

The given text is a pun

hom_363

heels are the back part of the foot

Don’t let your footprints in the sands of time be the mark of a heel

The given text is a pun

hom_362

False teeth are something people who lose their teeth may have, and being true to your teeth may be a way of saying take care of them otherwise you'll lose them.

Be true to your teeth , or they will be false to you .

The given text is a pun

hom_361

A "dead issue" just means something that no longer has any significance. Dead means to no longer be alive. Easter is a Christian holiday that celebrates the resurrection of Jesus, which is the opposite of being dead. The text could be understood as the Easter story is not insignificant, but it can also be understood literally, the Easter story is not a dead issue as it is about resurrection from death.

The Easter story is not a dead issue .

The given text is a pun

hom_357

The joke is that 'it really sucked' can mean two things here. A vacuum cleaner sucks in air to collect dust. Something 'sucking' is a slang term for it being bad, unreliable, or generally not good.

My new expensive vacuum cleaner really sucked .

The given text is a pun

hom_356

This is a pun on the word stripes. People of many stripes can mean a diverse group of people, or people who wear clothing with many stripes on them. Referees wear shirts with stripes on them.

Sports are refereed by people of many stripes .

The given text is a pun

hom_354

Jacques Cousteau was an explorer that did a lot of under water exploring. When someone is submerged in their work, they're consumed by their work. Submerged can also refer to being under water. This joke is playing on the word submerged, and its different uses.

Cousteau was submerged in his work .

The given text is a pun

hom_350

The joke is a pun. One might say that dying and going to heaven would be 'going to a higher plane', as in a higher realm than the mortal realm. 'Plane' meaning 'realm', is identical to the short word for airplane, 'plane'.

OLD PILOTS never die they just go to a higher plane .

The given text is a pun

hom_348

To meet someone by accident means to meet someone by chance, or unintentionally. In the joke, this person's boyfriend backed his car into his future romantic partner's car. The joke is centered on the phrase "we met by accident" which can mean "we met by car accident" or "we met by chance". Both apply.

My boyfriend and I started to date after he backed his car into mine . We met by accident .

The given text is a pun

hom_345

The joke is a pun. Being 'in a jam' means being in a stressful or difficult predicament. Blackberries can be smashed and made into a jelly or 'jam'.

Two blackberries met . They were both in a jam .

The given text is a pun

hom_341

This pun is is about a florist, or someone who handles and arranges flowers. An alternative arrangement might refer to an arrangement of flowers, and perhaps it can also refer to an alternative to death in the sense of a pun.

OLD FLORISTS never die , they just make alternative arrangements .

The given text is a pun

hom_339

The woman asked what her doctor could give her so she can keep the hair on her head, as in prevent her hair from falling out. The doctor says that she put her hair in a cigar box. This is obviously not the solution she was looking for so he was just kidding and probably doesn't want to deal with her.

Doctor , Doctor , my hair is coming out . What can you give me to keep it in ? - A cigar box . Next .

The given text is a pun

hom_334

"To have gas" is a more polite phrase for farting. Most automobiles are powered by internal combustion engines whose fuel source is gasoline, or "gas" for short. The pun draws on the two meanings of "gas".

Why was the car embarrassed ? Because it had gas !

The given text is a pun

hom_327

This is a joke on the phrase 'square meal' which means a substantial, satisfying, and balanced meal, so the joke is that here is that a square plate with four corners would be a square meal

He bought a plate with four corners so he could have a square meal .

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hom_325

Someone who is of "no account" is someone worthless. A bank account is a spot held at a bank for someone to make monetary transactions, or to simply store money. This joke is playing on the word "account" and its different meanings.

A person who would make a banking joke is of no account .

The given text is a pun

hom_324

If something is a fluke, then it means that it's unlikely. A fluke also refers to a part of a whale's tail. This joke is playing on the word "fluke" and its different meanings.

If you sight a whale , it could be a fluke .

The given text is a pun

hom_323

I think the joke has something to do with how his story being 'shallow' means that the pond is 'shallow'. This seems like a failed pun. Shallow has two meanings. One being the physical depth of a body of water, and the other being a lack of content or meaning to something like a story.

The plot to his story of the pond was quite shallow .

The given text is a pun

hom_320

A flea is a type of jumping insect that feeds on the blood of mammals. A common symptom of someone who has fleas is itchiness, and scratching at itchiness is typical behavior. To scratch is to run one's fingernails over a skin surface to relieve itching. To "create something from scratch" is to make something with rudimentary ingredients, or from fundamentals. The flea was created from scratch. The joke is playing on the word "scratch" and its different meanings.

Scientists have created a flea from scratch .

The given text is a pun

hom_317

In the joke, the speaker is referring to dressing, the topping put on a salad, by making it sound like dressing, to put clothes on

The waiter was shocked when I asked for my salad to be served naked . I explained , no dressing please .

The given text is a pun

hom_315

This is a pun on the word "marooned". Maroon is a color that is made by mixing red, blue, and yellow. The boats have names with the colors red and blue in them. When they crashed into each other, it is like mixing the two colors together, making maroon.

A boating accident between the yacht , Red Dawn , and the schooner , Blue Lagoon , left the survivors marooned .

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hom_310

A peach is a fruit. To say someone is a peach is to say that they're attractive. "The fruit vendor's daughter is a peach" can be interpreted as the "fruit vendor's daughter is attractive" or "the fruit vendor's daugher is a peach" in the literal sense.

She was only a Fruit vender ' s daughter , but , oh , what a peach .

The given text is a pun

hom_308

A kleptomaniac is someone that has an impulse control disorder with an irresistible urge to steal. The part where the doctor says "something you can take for that" can refer to consuming something, like a medication, to treat someone for something. The joke is in the doctor telling the kleptomaniac that that there's something that person "can take" as kleptomaniacs keep taking.

Doctor , Doctor , you ' ve got to help me . I think I ' m a kleptomaniac . - Don ' t worry . I think there ' s something you can take for that . Next .

The given text is a pun

hom_301

Baby chickens are called chicks. A hen is a female bird. A baby hen could be referred to as a chick. A "flick" means movie. A "chick flick" is a slang term meaning a movie that is geared towards women. "Chick flick" can be taken literally, as in the flick, or the movie, is about chicks, or baby hens. This joke is playing on the slang term "chick flick".

I watched a movie about a baby hen , it was a real chick flick .

The given text is a pun

hom_30

This is a play on words. The word "gushed" means to speak with exaggerated enthusiasm but here "gushed" means flowing out suddenly in large volume, as oil does from the ground once an oil spring is struck.

I ' ve struck oil ! Tom gushed .

The given text is a pun

hom_3

Honeybees have a stinger. A sting operation is a deceptive operation designed to catch a person attempting to commit a crime. The joke is connecting the word "sting" with what honeybees do when they are threatened, and to "sting operation".

Can honeybee abuse lead to a sting operation ?

The given text is a pun

hom_298

When a mechanic gives your automobile a tune-up, it means they will check and adjust all of the systems in your vehicle to make sure it's working. In music, tuning is the process of adjusting the pitch of one or many tones from musical instruments.

A mechanic who was also a musician was good at tuning things .

The given text is a pun

hom_296

Molding a young mind means to shape it or support it's development. Mold is also a type of a fungus, so this pun plays on the world mold in the sense of learning about fungus to help develop a young persons mind.

Studying fungus is a way to mold young minds .

The given text is a pun

hom_294

This is a pun on 'lose their spark', which usually means to lose interest in something, however it's being used here because blasting technicians work with sparks with their explosions

OLD BLASTING TECHNICIANS never die , they just lose their spark .

The given text is a pun

hom_293

This is a pun on 'impression' which in this context means an idea, feeling, or opinion about something or someone, especially one formed without conscious thought or on the basis of little evidence, but it's also being used because 'impression' can also mean a mark impressed on a surface by something, like what you'd do with a rubber stamp

If you go for a job interview at a rubber stamp company try to make a good impression .

The given text is a pun

hom_288

This is a pun on 'fan' which in this context means a person who has a strong interest in or admiration for a particular person or thing, in this case a fan of blowing air. 'Fan' is also being used here because it also means an apparatus with rotating blades that creates a current of air for cooling or ventilation

Some people really enjoy blowing air out of their lungs - I ' m not a fan myself .

The given text is a pun

hom_284

A stock answer is an answer that is prepared and always the same. A stock is the amount of capital raised by a business. Investment brokers conduct investment transactions on behalf of a client, and stocks are seen as an investment. This joke is centered on the word "stock" and its different meanings.

' ' Consult an investment broker , ' ' was Tom ' s stock answer .

The given text is a pun

hom_276

This is a pun on 'log'. Forestry is the science and craft of creating, managing, planting, using, conserving and repairing forests, woodlands, and associated resources for human and environmental benefits, so you'd definitely be dealing with literal wood logs, but 'log' also means to enter information to a system, like what you'd do if you had to log your time

If you work in a forestry company you will probably have to log your time .

The given text is a pun

hom_274

The joke is a pun. Sometimes drooling or dripping saliva can be called 'dribbling'. To dribble in basketball is to bound the ball off the ground and keep control of it.

A basketball player couldn ' t control his saliva but he could sure dribble .

The given text is a pun

hom_27

The joke is a pun. 'Bounce back' can mean to recover from something such as an illness. Bungee cords are stretchy cords that would make one 'bounce' back to the point of dropping when used for bungee jumping.

OLD BUNGEE JUMPERS sometimes die but they can still bounce back

The given text is a pun

hom_267

Faculties can refer to a teaching staff. A principal is part that staff. Faculties can also refer to mental capabilities. So, if someone loses their mental faculties, it means that they lose their ability to use their mind to its full capacity. This joke is playing on the word "faculties" and its different meanings.

OLD PRINCIPALS never die they just lose their faculties .

The given text is a pun

hom_261

Having a falling out the end of a friendship due to unreconsilable differences. A tree house is a buidling built into the branches of a tree, and a typically high up, so literally falling is a risk.

They built a tree house together but then had a falling out .

The given text is a pun

hom_26

The joke is a play on the phrase 'spell disaster'. Alphabet soup is a soup with pasta shaped like letters of the alphabet. 'Spell disaster' is a phrase that usually means 'causes disaster'. The letters of alphabet soup could literally spell the word disaster.

If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out , it could spell disaster .

The given text is a pun

hom_259

This is a pun. The word flake can mean a snow flake. It can also mean a person who is crazy or eccentric. The weatherman predicted snow in July--a generally hot month--and he is a bit of a flake.

The weatherman who forecasted snow in July was a bit of a flake .

The given text is a pun

hom_254

The joke is a pun on the word 'scratched'. Fleas make dogs very itchy, so they will scratch themselves. A racedog being 'scratched' means they are taken out of the race.

The race dogs got a bad case of the fleas - they had to be scratched .

The given text is a pun

hom_251

Multiplication is an aspect of arthmetic which we find in mathematics. Math teachers teach multiplication. Math teachers will never run out because they'll multiply, meaning more than what's currently there will arrive.

We ' ll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply .

The given text is a pun

hom_245

This is a pun on 'uprooted' which means to pull (something, especially a tree or plant) out of the ground. But it can also mean to eradicate; destroy, which is what this joke is eluding to

OLD TREE SURGEONS never die , they are just uprooted .

The given text is a pun

hom_243

This is a pun on the phrase "sweeping the nation" which usually means to become extremely popular, but it also works here because brooms literally sweep things

A new type of broom came out , it is sweeping the nation .

The given text is a pun

hom_238

The joke is a pun. 'Committed people' sounds like a dedicated worker. Convicts are criminals who have committed a crime and are serving a sentence in jail.

Convicts are committed people .

The given text is a pun

hom_237

To buzz is to fly very close an aircraft at high speed. A pilot is a person that flies an aircraft. To "buzz off" means to go away. The joke is centered around the word "buzz" and its different meanings.

OLD PILOTS never die , they just buzz off .

The given text is a pun

hom_236

For Catholics, Mass is the central act of worship in a church. Mass can also refer to a quantity of matter. "Do they have mass" can refer to asking if Catholics have a quantity of matter, or if they have worship services in space. This joke is a play on the word mass.

Even though Catholics in space are weightless , do they have mass ?

The given text is a pun

hom_235

This joke would be funnier if it were better written, i.e. "The Queen considered her coronation her crowning achievement." Anywayyy'crowning achievement' is a pun on the crown the queen now wears, apart from the political appointment being a life accomplishment.

A woman who became queen considered it her crowning achievement .

The given text is a pun

hom_234

A tailor may suit himself if he decides to make his own revisions to a garment instead of the customer's. It's also a pun on the tailor deciding to tailor a suit for himself.

A tailor sometimes decides to suit himself .

The given text is a pun

hom_231

Mass is the proper term for Catholic Sunday services, and also short for Massachusetts. The irony, of course, is that Massachusetts was historically one of the most Catholic states by demographics. On top of that, the Pope - head of the Catholic Church - is the last person who should be skipping services!

The pope , on his 2008 tour in the United States , skipped Mass .

The given text is a pun