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Intuit-GenSRF

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joangaes-depression-es

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Intuit-GenSRF 7

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[ "redoing first song ever wrote terms songwriting peaked immediately" ]

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[ "elf best christmas movie ever made wayyyyyy better thann home alone" ]

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[ "day recommending songs like rteenagers game awards edition httpsyoutubeabsohqany ooooooooh elden ring" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "friends careliterally reached friends telling im thinking killing tonight suddenly stop talking me point keep trying much easier give many chances tonight" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "close eyes feel rope around neckiam actually suicial well thought good bad days good days get shit done bad days lay bed want go continue thing is im living actually thogut id like go living everytime close eyes feel rope around neck lay sleep first thoughtimage someone shooting head ampxb know feel this sight something like pro living seems to well slide away fade know do depression therapy parents know suicidal thoughts know im supposed save think am" ]

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[ "teens single parents like id assume hell" ]

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[ "im fucked quite recently type kid never homework never studied tests still somehow managed get as bs means never learned fucking study next week mock igcse exams usually important practice real exams due virus mock exams might become end year score know study parents try help really cant used were taught things school i live outside home country go international school anyone tips least get basics tests next week" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "sure submit question professional post first years old actually happy since puberty life seem get ground younger brother married even children see obstacles everywhere friends talk see less less also getting married kids feel connected environment especially people everyone seems concerned winning interested mainly looking friendship people interested transacional friendships bought house noisy regret sensitive noise people think me people seem function kind autopilot know everyday becomes heavy suffering depression know anymore" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "sure it days ago started keeping track days think it days thought it usually even leave house morning make little voice head telling need stop" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "need someone know miserable am im damn sure going say anythingim miserable right now plan ace finals head little gun shop town purchase shotgun paint walls apartment brains note warnings clear motive nothing fuck it im taking gauge exit path really want that im fucking done really need someone close help me im going say anything them therapist family friends cant why theyre going ask reason feel like do cant feel like reasons valid that afraid theyll look pity feeling way do reasons do cant that id rather die hate pity hate sympathy hate looked upon pity me fuck you feel sorry me fuck you look me fuck you sure probably look pity me cant sure exactly theyll react say nothing" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "done everythingdearsw im sick tired mistreated whole life ive good fucking person gotten anywhere lifeim yr old male im local univ kid grewsouth major city used get bullied time ive stabbed twice like oh got stabbed small knife like stood myself took switchblade stabbed stomach second time stabbed knee stopped standing myself didnt really try stick got end high schoolim bad looking kid dated captain cheerleading squad pretty popular nerd somehow fit in dad military moved base base lot turned ten moved base base lot fucking sucked bc person ive ever able call best friend ended hard drugs six years left died overdose know fact wouldnt done im child halfsister dads first child first marriage greedy shit always pesters dad money dad used pay needed support mother and new bf stole dad basically steal able lunch money real young dad found good job right middle school settled down mom got cancer thought going lose her blocked memory section life dont remember iw good son bad son kills me ended surviving one worst portions life smoked weed friends try calm bring back reality never worked every relationship ive im dependent one", "im always dependent one im looking girl always make happy im looking someone cares equal much care themim good boyfriendknow cook i taught growin up used bake stuff shapes hearts write em poems sorts nice things somehow would always get trampled throughout high school people would always start rumors reason dated new girl really liked new friend would say things", "like oh hes gay something like them tried sports dad forced football three years lacrosse six when middle school_ liked lacrosse didnt like football still made anyways one done anything ever try think me sometimes dad go buy something said wanted never treats like respects son good intentions me always bicker usually starts yelling reason graduated high school thought id start clean slate joined fraternity became best friends great guys helped girls cheating me parental feud sister stealing money savings finally landing scholarship university able decide fate met her met getting another cheated me met friend legitimately fell love first sight like cared girlfriends never understood word love met her never really tossed around word wanted felt it knew it loved weve dating almost year half now shes beautiful fun around shes gone abroad semester told lovedme went away fight me tell loves hangs up tells danced another guy fight makeup tells cant without me next day tells shouldnt together next day tells loves anyone else shes ever loved rinse repeat rinse and fucking repeat im tired it like one thinks me ever one ever places first even theyre in love me", "parents dont even place first theyre love think other sister doesnt even care loves money best friend sure ive got friends one talk anything lately ive dreams dying dying able anything it im tired all im tired painim tired even considered im tired objectified thing feel like thats ive ever been matter interesting am people think im constant never worry me dont show im trembling inside wnat die havent lived easiest life havent lived hardest life really cant take it know things better kid things financially easier know dont worry much feel like im utterly obviously neglected want kill myself want end it want someone fucking love like love them want someone loves me anyone guy girl want god damn best friend maybe thats consider girlfriend too best friend thats hurts fight personim love real best friend want end painim tired pain", "im tired worried losing someone mother friend passed away girlfriend want lose myself feel like theyd learn dying appreciate everyone around them theyd learn even im smiling may happy theyre driving insane thinking following heart dont even see look pain face completely wash without giving second glance want die dont even want kill myself want end want stop story exist die know theres god friend pronounced dead minute half said didnt see anything didnt feel anything woke back said understood everything knew felt everything turned completely said theres nothing side us havent believed religion since want turn everything want end dont know deal" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "im starting give hope im depressed upset last weeks even worse now nightmare feel options left im starting giving life less hours ago cyber bullied others this crying depressed want die really feel worthless feel like nobody loves me hurts much right now" ]

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[ "personally find idea one testicle extremely funny hilarious even like person anywhere one testicle" ]

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[ "parents ass holes pt yesterday posted thishttpswwwredditcomrteenagerscommentsjjrmmy_parents_are_assholesutm_mediumandroid_appamputm_sourceshare apparently im expert eating much food im made exercise fat shaming sucks combined parents calling pedo life sucks people ah well years move out thanks listening ted talk" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "helpi swallowed handful old prescription effexor im shaking bed im passing out im scared tell anyone either" ]

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[ "add picture post phone wanna add pictures know" ]

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[ "voted first time today vote bluehttpsiimgurcomuafbmjpg" ]

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[ "browsing twitter stumbled account clicked red pill reality imploded itself mind undone anyone try red pill lately httpstwittercomchuck_grahamstatuss" ]

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[ "lot questions mind buckle dont idc how deal family drama feel started is normal feel like nobody depend on am posting much today ive posted like every hour what r wholesomecute subreddit need something distract nice day hug" ]

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[ "okay ill admit kids never would seen film would never see it but considering rotten kids movies seen such spy kids babe pig city significant improvement and enough totally bored skull contemplated suicide something repeatedly two movies sure performances pretty broad plotkindasillybut kids film and compared films genre definitely better average frankie muniz amanda bines actually appear talent probably continue careers pubertyat least infomercials voiceoversbr br so looking film see kids certainly could lot worse" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "im alone confused need write get somewherethis going hell post one probably get congratulate apologize anyone does scroll reddit ive never actually made account friend says likes lot found thread somehow really like guidelines lot ive never seen forum even site directive people respond really focuses op think really coolnice really know posts get responses sort rackedmybrainforthelastidea thing really anyone anymore internet friends included context im junior year university really anywhere go anymore feel like im losing it used go grandma mom told my assumption grandma like mentioned something mom it understand peoples mental health problemsproblems general really overwhelming taxing people deal people deal peoples problems cant go family whole problematic child label already im oldest three already hospital multiple times since high school two siblings smart things", "well i really talents everything pretty mediocre cant talk closest friend i really best friend got mental hospital positive happy anything could potentially affect happy her talk anyone know college family perpetuate entire stigma everyone im dramatic crazy im trying exaggerate talk mental health lot anyways like furthering discussion making sure people informed learning new information always informed best ability talking solutions ways get help im person never ask help people find ive already done something cant take back ask anyone help really ask talk anyone know im girl like five hospital trips scars makes dramatic crazy ive conflicting thoughts freaking negative ones seem concrete past seeing friends response getting hospital feeling renewed plan feeling genuinely better so well genuine definite watched new series reasons read book", "younger i actually really prefer either show book show entire redflag if anyone per chance reading spoiler thing pretty graphically blatant end saw main characters definiteness everything saw two different forms definite thinking today one positive one negative ruminating inside head im lacking ive always lacked friend saw future positive renewal reason ive never experience definite im going turn life around feeling cannot see future myself nothing im spectacular at things im relatively good theyre also unrealistic build anything one else really believes either thing picture happening graduate university run school im societally expected finish picture happening moving back parents bleak future me started thinking thinking thinking watching cars run past intersection thinking speed would run point cars crossed intersection enough damage least coma realizing desperate opt life form possible feel though might go back self harm done anything year scary scary feel weird calm everything weird calm suicidal thoughts popping brain constantly im scared feel alone apologize long ass awful post know go" ]

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[ "updated version story turned film englandreturn frog concerning pursuit police master criminal known frog frog like get bulging eyes etc wearsbr br one good wallace films s solid little entertainment clearly influenced influence restart dr mabuse films frog seems super villain master thief best wallace films worth look would make interesting double feature excellent earlier filmbr br between" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "cant stop hurtingi cant stop pain inside turned self harming help deal depression low moods thats turned unhealthy cant stop self harming find pleasurable im fixated going harder deeper cant stop know do whats point all life shit maybe cut deeper find another way relieve pain" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "redflag hotlines call police ive thought calling redflag hotline but want take risk calling police would make everything worse so hotlines guaranteed call police or would taking risk matter called" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "iso angel mercyas title says looking someone help pass on recently diagnosed two diseases quality life good now ive lost pounds im getting better cant even stand look mirror diseases killing would prefer go terms read somewhere best way go administer lethal dose morphine sounds peaceful painless two unfamiliar feelings lately want pain stop im tired crying misery help would eternally grateful even better idea thinking of would appreciated well thank taking time read this" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "finally leaving rredflagwatchfor longest time ridiculously unhappy life knew moment hit rock bottom day woke justdidnt feel happy anymore foreign feeling like lost feeling alive thought feeling would never go away exaggerating much worse this seemed like everything going wrong time life would never joyous again entire plan written ready go note underwent countless revisions reworkings want anyone think fault even gave deadline said things work th birthday im killing myself im yet still months go say certainty days me know happened even realize happened woke one morning thought i mind alive used frequent lot another account months ive slowly juststopped coming yet never officially separated subreddit now time official withdrawing rredflagwatch im ending life tonight im starting againim glad longer feel way im glad longer feel need come anymore im glad feel happy again wish best rest here hoping thing may happen you hope nice rest day wherever are" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "trying sort things areim sorry sounds whatever need put cards table paper everything looks well swell well educated great parents great family good group friends really feel like phoney im honest friends as friend lie general im life party am feel alone im exist everything seems happen life positive thing leads working out always feel like step forward steps back sorry sound cliched much try tell friends family things arent ok get people believing me people telling suck up really cant cope wake every morning unfortunately first thing think say wake fuck dont know woke go another day woke up really cant copeive never real gf im king friendzone happens anytime girl me end missing cues time notice late think girl me make move end wrong seen just friend end day im alone feel like always alone wish someone would nonjudgmental want shoot shit know alone", "im bigger guy take space feel like imposing dont know ps realize rant probably sounds like diatribe need outlet want cry cant need outlet even tear ducts cooperate understand things could worse understand alot people gone alot shit feel helpless know go turn to friends married exist am think packing moving cities would lead to baggage would follow end day know much farther go live strong reason strange want let go cant less me leaving parents sister guilt amazing guilt guilt keep going either way know is eventually raft run air sink im tired im tired putting faceim tired waking tired im tired know others feel way is either way wake tomorrow say fuck start day usual make day im tired" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "want everyone around die wellmaybe selfish kill first want live pain death i understand anyone would care guess anyway same one puts effort fit even want here" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "limbo also guys reply posti never really wanna commit redflag whenever thoughts whenever think it im much coward go it im financial problems little issues want go it back out want die im coward cant previous fact" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "fuck itnot sure much longer keep pushing everyday gets shittier shittier loaded shotgun next would hesitate aim upon pull trigger im losing weight lbs down really want change every single night left conclusionim unlovable piece trash probably end ditch somewhere anyways would always scoff people went internet complain girl liked like back get now hardest part trick thinking like you realize possible way could care someone awful you losing weight easy cause quite appetite lately thingive blaming everything wrong life fat time goes lose more realize truly horrible person noone could care me fat hiding new form would immediately perfect person hiding skeleton matter fit thin ill ever get ill stay unloved rest life maybe bad thing things much easier talk anyone sat room day alone atleast priorities straight atleast care much anyone else liked me fuckim done" ]

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[ "diary day everything goodigyeah woke took hot shower started studying ate healthy breakfast bit later worked dad came home work said really proud cause working everyday without rest days mom made surprise gave eurosjust bc good sonwell mby call spoiled think not also day watched twd fell asleep watching also read pagesso day good nothing made sadsoyeah guysi really hope enjoy everyday everybody reads thisare happy" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "im sorry guysive posted lot past everyone really helpful appreciate everyones help hate seeing suffering too hope find way happy day maybe well see side someday bye everyone" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "intrusive thoughts oh boyrecently feels like distract time else negative feelings catch flood brain tell everything sucks die get close writing redflag note leaving everything behind started days ago found someone thought good terms actually talking shit behind back im hurt feel feel like be im not importantly that im alarmed strongly feel need escape guilty feel want that dont want friends family sad dont want cats think abandoned them life insurance low housemates would move guilt thing thats really making stop think go anything havent told anybody thoughts dont want worry them set therapy appointment next week ive psych ward years ago dont ever ever want go again dont know need tell somebody" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "anyone else think redflag every secondsits constantly mind matter im doing im work home outside thoughts always there im talking literally every seconds think killing myself" ]

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[ "need help im trying figure something friend online idk would fun guess u guys suggestions two people mobile devices exclusively" ]

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[ "get girlfriend so trying find someone feel something special sounds cheesy true tried apps find horny people thots so really appreciate good tips" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "post throwaway oh wellthe past two years life hellevery time feel like im making progress life feels like falls apart havent suicidal like months reason today bad feel alone sad looked phone realize one talk to dont want go hospital cause always end hospital wanted january differentim struggling find reasons live" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "hope boyfriend see thisi cant bothered make throwaway account subreddit even though thats safe thing boyfriend reddit risky anyway wanna die point everything going shit everyday even though nothing particular happening guilt things ive done slowly surely creeping intensity little high point reason actually waiting opportunity either blow world someone else literally nothing painlessly kind wake everyday wish would dead point going long time still would stretch telling nice life boyfriend future nowthe world dying wanna die even want future gone care want out unbearable amount consolidation future plans gonna get unless somebody takes fucking place even know im posting wanna bother anyone know anonymity reddit people people subreddit gives comfort cant judged time told one caused this even though true fault im shit nice hear someone tells stupid kid know many things done wrong past immature preadolescent brain actions held time" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "want peacejust want done want stop godamn coward body aches mind keeps rotting want peaceful sleep" ]

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[ "color hair say anything combination idk" ]

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[ "need chat someone dm discord mattplaysthedrums chat cool person" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "taken shower since rape cant brush teeth cant brush hair cant feed myself cant make shower tried morning forgot products lost much weight underwear falls off whats point" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "artist struggling life sure looking formaybe conversation someone willing talk with advice feeling alone" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "almost hung morningi never went bed night emotions hitting real hard morning still without sleep decided going kill myself found belt tried around neck see would fit fit really well went hang belt could hold hung moment somewhat clarity ill go sleep i ended getting sleep still going sleep type this still feel way wake fuck decided woke completely forgot happened" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "tired tired please judgei fighting years manage life point think time check out family left suffering good days life great downs terrible pull together get back work fall apart ending street weekend street again money rent trying put together money week avail odd jobs weather raining helped going kill today want plan painless also shock anyone street weekend want cause trauma police anyone would find me would love go country doctor assisted redflag name need travel like that crisis today done jobs life tried many medications go like powerless boat ocean please judge people may choose end life open answers would better people kill themselves tired pain life good life ways focusing good things sunrises sunsets loves life things experiences good going suffer anymore would appreciate ideas people end life without harming others cause painmyself want final act painful myself suffered enough hope younger people read find answers try trying years find solutions nothing changes young people often find solutions give another years case find answers many do makes sad plan this older s enough enough" ]

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[ "mfs like haha dw marcus im one boys aye dont like girls age think im intellectual like bitch know didnt know spell dvd yesterday maddie" ]

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[ "stop posting goddamn karma whoring life stories omg guys ive stopped cutting full month came closet yay karma whoring garbage dont care about great accomplished something isnt rlookatme bet people dont care either want people slobber personal life go somewhere elseim sure pedophile gladlyyou" ]

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[ "came nancy drew expecting worstbecause everyone elses bad reviews thought even though read books look anything like nancy drew ive heard of wrong sure carbon copy books make movie something modify become bigscreen entertainment plot enjoyable thrilling lot actual scares thought emma roberts really believable way portraying classic character several funny moments contrary many statements point film nancy come ditz intelligent conservative polite genuine one thing movie also well balance whole thing mix comedy romance suspense heartfelt moments loved movie flick flick wise decide trust go see this prepared scary heck moments was like freaking out go see bumbum let people decide think movie youa mistake almost made love it wanna movie love emma roberts now too like minibree van de kamp dh love it love it" ]

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[ "woke thought saturday yeahwoke thinking saturday even though today friday convinced thinking saturday checking phone realized friday minutes late school dont remember anything last nightyeahconfused feels like took drugs something didnt" ]

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[ "finest film ever made deal subject aids documentary two men living dying illness film beautiful heartbreaking funny incredibly moving all amazing true love story sure hankies ready watch movieyou need them extraordinary" ]

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[ "love american healthcare system especially pains lower right side gotta decide wether want car life saving surgery" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "effortit effort breathe always really hard time year brother took life years ago dad years that feels yesterday time time believe food others make naive expect next time different people know say yea hardly ever refuse days sex mainly become fat old embarrassment daughters abuser ex fianc words cut skin without even use blade crocodile tears says cry walt burns face dont know im going get depression blackness still suffocating" ]

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[ "praying actually productive tomorrow like god please someone beat please" ]

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[ "damn bruh horny sad mood anyways gn" ]

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[ "amazing conversation go big international school get ton new students every year usually never approach new students begging year year regretted that theres new girl joined class never talked halfway schoolyear btw week ago beach cleanup walking back school decided chat her turns hardcore gamer loves fps games batman deadass minute long conversation overused use batmobile arkahm knight anyway friends frequently talk moral story make effort talk people" ]

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[ "need someone rant youre lmk lol" ]

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[ "drink water think im dehydrated heres reminder drink wateroh also remember eat forgot day horrible headache final piece wisdom sleeppp morning refeweti speelimg spelling errors occurred tiredness regretting life choices" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "people fickle persons reality upheld judgements made bits information get everything think understand turned upside one contradictory judgement brought another piece information reality relative fluid every experience interpreted determines individual reality like none matters still hold onto kids want ever see emptiness right now realities" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "year old sister ticking time bombi live privileged family sister gets everything ever asked im unsure year old could incredibly unhappy makes fake personas usually abused boys acts online constantly lying smallest things matter asks sort manner doctors family therapists etc never come forth truth top knowing feeling this acts completely normal home acts like regular happy go lucky year old except maybe bit sensitive actually way sensitive explode break cry shut smallest thing hospital suicidal thoughts weeks ago back again cant change mindset know happen amount reassurance us family amount money amount support give stubborn change youngto realize life beautiful preciousmight wrong subreddit say feel believe listen anything takes medication depression spiraling downward impulsiveirradiate emotional behavior feel like would take life triggered enough mental hospital today mentioning redflag someone middle school feel hopeless maybe best start mourning now nothing works maybe best stay hospital seem help last time sorry rant rredflagwatch needed get mind maybe someone something similar would year old want take life badly" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "fuck everythingfuck everything fuck it damn hell fuck gets there fuckit fuck everything" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "thinking checking outbutim feeling defiant fuck life u win continue struggle fight scream cry happiness feeling pain life would know happiness dont know pain give wether get cancer aids god awful disease fight last breath life awful times also great theres always chance things could turn around maybe tommorrow hope hope keeps going thought" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "best friend punches nothing itthere friend insults hits face hes always laughing me anythingitim scared losing person see invisible started hitting thoughts family care want everything over life mess cant something" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "feel like ive tried everything yet died tomorrow say felt like livedso death think of want million split second slips every day" ]

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[ "world bitch people suck mean seriously world especially people demands perfection living tear slightest slip nothing forgivable anyones standards people assholes it too never let forget make sure misgivings people see you like wth man infuriating longer things go on longer happens nothing ever gets better im utterly convinced people forgotten decency human kindness knows maybe side friends talking idk point" ]

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[ "everyday last three hours days short im even enjoying hours" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "wrong mei lost years reason ever since little wanted girl grew playing bratz dolls dress dad told stop fag always tried get guy things interest in want go shopping drink venti girls could go examples idk feel way going try start hrt im scared dont understand wanted bad opportunity presented scared away dont know would even explain family cant even explain myself due years suicidal thoughts alienate everyone around me tried make obvious sometimes talk nobody seems notice bitch feelings never ask feel nobody cares me dont even careim scared commit redflag either dont think ever able actually transition even transitioned would fix problems suicidal thoughts dont know im sure id happier dont want regret it hate way look dont know why crossdress feel great pretty top world feel like im trapped current situation im dont want regret im ageim still confused deeper source pain giving thoughts dont actually want become female instead want mend mental issues dont know brain like this dont even feel like going anymore seems never ending fight prize unachievable happiness never felt true happiness dont understand im full much pain" ]

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[ "nonbinary female getting awards male getting awards need fill empty gap" ]

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[ "found ugly people exist keeping thoughts prayers cant imagine must going" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "much cost us check suicidal urgesmight tomorrow wake suicidal ir bankrupt me insurance" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "tried mdma best friend first time yesterday bad trip ended telling everything made unhappy life feel like courage commit redflagits along story boring", "okay dont read it dont mind called happy pills tried girlfriend said nice experience asked wanted try knows sad time convinced easily genuinely excited feel happiness fun time best friend told start one pill but minutes hour later nothing happening took another one later one half minutes later started panicking going heart attack like feeling ten times worse usual going insane lying bed left side clenching muscles felt like eternity couldnt stop rubbing right foot left one ended tearing skin friend starting comfort me telling sorry was shouldve known better genuinely felt bad could tell wasnt clenching teeth telling terrified was kept biting inside cheek hard could almost felt good noticed saw bloody teeth helped drink water told important state two hours kept telling unhappy was wanted happier couldnt disease ruined life wasnt brave enough get help went on always repeating stuff got angry myself told pathetic was said wasnt came out like that something never thought id tell anyone hate much get humiliation well year now somehow turned insecurities sexual pleasure stuff seen porn took seriously hate porn always attracted women think awesome yet cant think woman wouldnt love potentially kill me barely imagine loving relationship anymore see cruel looking woman anything destroy soul like it hate like it would never imagine things wasnt porn dont think women evil never hate them im stupid hate myself", "im confused let happen years ago womans skin mine sexiest thing think beating nothing hurts much am know isnt wasnt like before remember precisely day lost confidence years old new year school kept thinking hard talk others now used clown making people laugh made happy wanted like everything could make laugh lot friends wanted attention afraid alone friends kids alone always invited play us last year elementary school life going get worse every passing year noticed different thought mature thats dont act like buffoon anymore maybe puberty thats wanted think looking back now dealing mild depression stayed good six years turned happy become adult fucking scared already feeling like wasted teenage years never meeting new people always old stuff couldve couple girlfriends years knew interested me felt exhausting thinking day would break would hurt me cant take rejection big part convinced much love solitude end high school less guy years that hey man wanna come party didnt go couldve met new friends wanna try improv us course not im shy obviously wouldnt good spent high school years group friends loved go restricted cant go auditorium bet", "well go well even eat everyday cant go sewers chill well matter weird", "go i even brought girl im good girls didnt seem mind talked pretty long time there im call gentleman cant go rooftop well find way we never did principal hated us always told smart kid whos better this liked comments thought time least bit fun even never really experimented anything else dumbass liked draw wanted become comic book writer artist pretty good never motivated enough become better never stopped writing though in first language french least liked play guitar always mediocre could see performing mean solo front intoxicated overly enthusiastic audience still couldnt practice hard enough get there point simply thought incredibly lazy wish was end high school beginning end me idea wanted do love writing stories used zombies outlandish stuff like assassins anything got movies started watching hundreds thought filmmaker must great goal bring imagination life two years later now im want make movies still write stories never finish them least one character basically me recently wrote man fights underground fight club hes good always win even though wants die hes waiting someone kill him everyday never happens day felt really going die soon his body took much damage time met woman lost dog friend shes nice spunky deep feels lonely man likes keeps winning fights always meet park every night talking dimly lit bench still dies though finally losing fight finally something good hes fundamentally idiot cant make right choices order achieve happiness result hurts woman blames helping him even fault want develop make movie feel like could it wont last two years went cegep some bullshit useless garbage school meant stress fuck damage even emotional level tons work do little people meet one friend there end couldnt even go classes didnt even strength climb stairs kept going library watching whatever netflix job mcdonalds loved people worked night hated others day fucked eventually basically fired even though technically quit still hurts think about date time frame horrible dont know boring her probably me thor ragnarok really wasnt enough bring us together all thats lot failures row got expelled school failing every single classes lost job failed romance hurts bad cant even bring try again back bad trip part yesterday nothing months now anyway event tell friend doesnt judge me even held arms cried still panicking severe depressiondrugs mix dont well drugs told scared dying told would okay went much details humilation thing ill leave that pains think it know awful gross couldve left right there never talk stayed told best friend cares me fell asleep times later apologizing many times next day uncomfortable deeply embarrassed tells shouldnt be hes proud talked feelings wants get professional help asked wanted go see movie clear mind accepted way there everything looked weird almost unreal cant describe it felt like alone world next me got relaxed movie even smiled little dont deserve best friend got back home took shower contemplated cutting veins razor blade die right there want know didnt it didnt want mother find floor naked blood ridiculous ive thinking ways die without upsetting anyone love much could isnt way all id hurt anyway matter die thats hate most im tired fucking tired cant anything zero energy went see movie first time two weeks went outside dont consume nearly enough calories dont exercise anymore cant even finish tv shows loved im convinced wont even final season game thrones fucking love show man sticking around dont understand im like that used watch many movies movie watchlist packed many dont even care watching them want cant even that dont die soon ill vegetable months time go dont belong here hate living theres nothing waiting me live people thats it want something myself now sad pain unbearable cant keep going want read comments made way here dont everyday wanted story written someone understand it cant see alive following weeks ill kill tomorrow fully clothed warm bath look decent find me dont want suffer im cutting veins quickly underwater listening heatmisers christian brothers last song name hugo" ]

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[ "sometimes wish gay catholic school want miserable find solace forbidden lover much ask" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "feeling depressed guy ive liked long liked back wants friends w benefits went many feelings heart broken ruining mewant quit part time jobs outside school nothing parents process getting divorced dad keeps drinking much get violent im adult house sometimes im spiritual positive feel like everything always faking it im sad im lonely wanna hurt people love care one cares im crying bed dark" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "subreddit disappointmentredflag watch like watch redflag page disappointment" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "need know add padding ropesi know best place post find anyplace else post it decided take life soon found adding padding rope hang lessen pain factor wondering anyone would know pad rope maybe suggest something enough padding already thank everyone reads post" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "first appointment psychiatrist gp referred me problem appointment weeks getting worse day day eat barely sleep nothing day every day feels longer one before referred beginning july unable function since may steadily going day day cope wish quiet peace wish could sleep way through cope" ]

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[ "definitive top best rappers time lil pump lil xan cardi b jake paul lil uzi vert saysyah yah yah ixine lil yachty without autotune kodak black ksi smokepurpp freestyling honorable mentions tupac biggie nas kendrick isnt joke true top rappers list" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "bf told kill myselfim already suicidal panic attacks frequently knows this broke gives attention two hours fighting tells hopes kill myself told go get dads meds take them knows thats planned it really suicidal last night right dont even feel anything might though dont anything anymore" ]

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[ "film follows bunch students nyc high school performing arts theres coco irene cara black singer make top despite everything helped bruno lee curren white musician theres doris maureen teefy wants actressbut shy scared becomes friends motgomery paul mccranepurportedly gay student school romanced raul barry miller theres leroy gene anthony raywho sadly died whos homeless great", "dancerbut cant read theres various teachers albert hague anne meara stand out trying teach kidsbr br the songs great the title tune out own nominated best songfame won dances energetic young cast shows plenty ambition talent film misses boat drama department many plot lines brought completely left openended end movie coco porno doris raul remain together afterwords either make it montgomerywhat happened him leroy ever graduateand how many long speeches raul two moments lead nothing im assuming cuts scripti cant believe movie left open br br still worth seeing acting and again music theres basically one bad song dances go full force and one point stop trafficliterally favorites fame out here i sing body electric great closing song recommend give the script really needed tie loose endsand didntbr br trivia wanted shot film actual school performing arts get permission dean school read script said way much swearing film truethere lot foul language thats high school kids talk avoid tv version abysmally overdubs it" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "kill wake minutes later reborn next lifei never believed past lives future lives comes it finally end life come peace rest reborn go bullshit life you again makes angry feel though would luck succeed reborn again im angry thought that terrifying biggest fear commit redflag want rest want go away" ]

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[ "trying deepen voice im trying deepen voice sound like year old girl speak got tips" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "tried commit redflag work helpi need commit redflagim dont futureim disgusting trans parents siblings dont accept hyper religious friends school bullied past anxiety talk one even parents depression well person boyfriend leaving random girl irl doesnt like long distance hes had tried hang let dangle time pass out could barely breathe breathe tiny wheeze trying get therapist parents gatekeeping it dont find fun anything anymore one talk to im stupid retarded waste space heart physically aching right now dont know do im going try later parents sleepingnot home time ill kick thing make sure complete it" ]

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[ "ya bored son dm imma send discord link" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "sick tired everything nothing helps anymore even know jm making post honestly becuase going chnage anything horrible pos partner left me mother nothing yell me talks hates wants gone genuinely cannot find anything else live for terribly school rest life going keep painful fucking struggle life want live anymore tired" ]

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[ "make coconut milk serious matter need know make coconut milk" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "sure feel like burden friendshi really know go start it im pretty level headed right now know last long ill constantly shift wanting kill really happy easily excitable feel like come drama queenim melodramatic reach lows really feel nothing unbearable emotional agony ive almost killed times now time im send redflag note break tears cant it rd time even shed tear felt hollow worried ive become desensitized since think detail almost daily past month talking friend it finally broke go it convinced finally throw away noose ive holding onto months thought done it now instead feel even pressured nervous guaranteed easy way anymore im afraid might turn less clean methods get bad enough botch it feeling nothing pain long time dying even dying crippled pain rest life cannot afford help cannot afford medical bills police forces stay hospital will thatd cause finally go life would bill insurance one ripoff plans get fined much putting premium crazy high unreasonable deductible", "id homeless expenses actually unfortunate enough hit it last night meticulously planned method thing stopping reason need rope chill raise suspicion way approach cold empty calculated kinda unsettling passionate irrational need kill like hit absolute lows im laying bed sobbing uncontrollably moments ill sit for like minutes planning out feel like need kill point problem friends care much me like im insanely luckythoughtful caring friends are even exgirlfriend still caresdeeply friend made mistake coming first time almost went it went quiet days discord called work make sureokaytwo days ago sitting hospital side world go sexual reassignment surgery something wanting entire life something saved slaved past years entire time ever worked despite that took time day worry me asking okaytelling bullshit told fine knew way well bare ruin moment tell up one two closest friends talk daily going lot one addisons disease constantly lot pain always sickly always tired needs hours sleep day feel exhausted thats guarantee friend firsts going lot right now talk personal life lot generally really withdrawn life little could piece together really ill", "well also rough life puts borderline poverty shame two still worry me comfort im upset understanding people planet make happy theyre around online though friends actually acquaintance coworkers pleasant close friends either way feel selfish going im upset encourage great success feel blessed friends lies issue feel like burden friends actually despite transgendered like friend used date supportive treat like woman ways get person despite knowing understand mood place estrodiol flowing dailyi pgml getting increased one even compared moody teenage girl despite support give me feel burdened them nd time bear give redflag note instead left discord group us me one addisons one speak personal lifewell servers together uninstalled discord phone computer hoping sever ties never burden again started feel worried upsetting them reinstalled phone hours later find one messaged asking okay", "first told suicidal comforted felt settle those two really good knowing exactly want hear calm feel happier reinvited everything woke up first also told second suicidal know heres part burdening me nd told never leave shed miss dearly made feel loved time made feel obligated stick around sake care deeply theyre two closest friends entire world honestly even think im falling love one them know itd mistake pursue it im also sure already taken someone sweet cannot single unless wants and wanted be change me either way last thing needs bringing already do like want away them justi feel like realize much happier theyd without me since bring im upset almost fucking daily refuse acceptim fucking toxic happiness well upset get come confide them sure fun together highs whenever theyre active get talk them highly doubt im enjoyable around worth emotional pain put whenever im sad leave servers now uninstall discord again know ill clawing thought reinstalling level stop dumps know ill keep vicious cycle depressed around up im worried theyll worry me itll upset them care much friends put something like that know", "im suicidal made mistake telling them theyll think killed myself thats im torn feel like im control anymore stay happy them keep contact them stay alive them know do sorry thoughts place want worry them want upset im sad" ]

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[ "walter white john wicks nerdy cousin literally killed countless amount people beans danger one knocks" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "whats point youre uglylmao imagine growing loser antisocial virgin thats whats gonna happen lot people whats point" ]

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[ "one butt kills cigarette stop smoking ill steal lungs" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "always thought depression jokei depressed large part life never would admit it make excuse anything depression always hidden boredom exhaustion never sadness always saw depressed people pathetic crying time feeling sorry cutting way get pity attention kind people stay bed day always thought fix it stop feeling sorry yourself realize depression comes many forms impacts everyone differently depressed sadness even feel bad mentally life over lost desire participate human being turned august job currently sleeping mothers couch br apartment bouncing living mother sisters decade havent friend since highschool recluse never kept job year currently unemployable due extremely high risk turnover thing get bored quickly leave job never consequences thoughts redflag everyday coward", "dont balls it thought lately things changed thought anymore feeling feel first time going kill myself almost confidence hear head time even told family got expected result dont care mother told didnt need me older sister said go it dont tell do almost disbelief life come this years bad choices suddenly blindsided seemingly solution worst part is hindsight one decision made highschool started path path long numb it almost like getting fat dont notice happening one day suddenly open eyes say fuck happen dont want kill myself blind options now everything would require apply put forth effort somehow convinced beyond point life opinion isnt worth living miserible everyday even concern would impact family sadness confusion might feel subsided life go them forget move on dead capacity care people knew everything happens death problem selfish thing do life even plan buy shotgun go woods morning hours everyone hustling meaningless jobs pull trigger noone would even hear shot wouldnt found days longer ill leave note telling family decided leave wont even bother trying find me" ]

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[ "got biochem test dislike scienceim bummed got bad grade dont really care point care dont care teacher doesnt put grades till end weeks need get good grades rest stuff hybrid missing person class kinda difficult learning new info especially assigned like month ago chapter glycoproteins proteoglycans confuses me anyone relate" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "academic pressures causing cousin consider redflagi wasnt even expecting way confessed weeks ago shes better since shes finally taking break college soon mothermy guardian bought copy resident evil one games shes wanting play ps ampxb still kinda bothering me mean looking much work put projects professor spend less minute check it isnt much spent day night writing everything solving questions lie given numbers studying become civil engineer philippines education system shitlike yeah sure u graduate k curriculum skills enough get decent job years go highschool teachers would make things harder students course thats gone through studied hard become teacher hundreds papers handwritten plansideas plates whatever terms use describe engineer stuff discover professor allowed printed ones could imagine much anger hand aches pains shes feeling besides professor didnt even announce it saw classmates bringing printed ones professor checking them anxiety attacks asks support family like dropping hints family would question would suddenly like that say stuff like are making drama again ampxb want know could next time hear say joking manner but could feel seriousness i want jump" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "feel lonely thoughts redflag looming getting stronger every dayi moved take care mother college could barely pick things get bed able get work home traveling couple times year years depressed learn drive family friends teach me get paid much able save lot series emergencies use active gained weight now face amp teeth messed born prematurely cleft pallet feel lonely every night lost interest movies games want someone hang me brother moved away big fight mother use love playing video games walking downtown watching movies thinking putting craigslist ad wants hang socially awkward ugly broke guy cant drive service like cheap thinking redflag often getting hard fight pain loneliness strong anymore thinking would it hang extension cord drown bath tub throw story apartment building guzzle thing bleach" ]

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[ "guys someone tell name white mustached guy absolutely destroys tennis players bamboozles tennis skills ive getting videos recommended lately looks like badass someone tell name could watch videos" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "whenever get told you life live it get sudden jolt angeris way get pissed whenever somebody tells dontit" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "born uglyit kills me family attractive im ugly one feel bad me want shoot myself like bought gun cant it" ]

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[ "kicked table crush fuckkkkk class ended leave classroom leg got caught desk leg let go swung toward crush somehow accident blocked exiting room made really loud sound teacher got immediately asked bolted math teacher noticed me ruined it anyway days fine hows yalls" ]

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[ "whats difference using chip sliding debit card also use them umm im sorry ask dumb question im new buying stuff dont want embarrass use card help would greatly appreciated d" ]

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[ "kinda wanna talk art styles dont like gatchahttpsimgurcomgalleryoohyrir first one dont like big head slightly unsettling lmao second tublr stylehttpsimgurcomgallerypqfkau idk style someone know draws legs like that no explanation neededhttpsimgurcomgallerymsvwrj fun heres favorite artstyle httpsimgurcomgalleryljfih leg minimalistic also symmetrical h n httpsimgurcomgallerydtrcloy" ]

[ "selfharm" ]

[ "worried ill go full columbine misguided attempt helpi made thishttpswwwredditcomrdepressioncommentsrqoa_rantish_thing_i_need_to_get_some_stuff_out_but post rdepression might help explain stuff want die want destroy family friends it nightmare back going end killing everybody know way anybody left sad finally waste myself know do friends help anymore trust anybody tell this therapists obviously question" ]

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[ "anyones interested im making discord teens play games chat generalgames like among us" ]