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null | null | cheeeebs | null | None | null | null | null | 1334061655 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s2g37 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s2g37 | null | 21 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s2g37/tifu_fell_asleep_on_couch_with_sweatpants_woke/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 143 | null | null | Reclining chair/couch... Dozed off, on back, knees bent... Had weird sexual dreams... Woke up with boner, boner is fierce, and right in the middle of the crotch of my sweatpants, knees still bent. My younger brothers girlfriend and family had shown up while I was sleeping, as well as my parents, all hanging out around me. Me in late 20's, long full beard, known for trees. brother 10 years younger, girlfriend and family conservative.
Not sure how long this was going on for. Not sure where my hands were whilest sleeping. Due to sleeping position and sweatpants, boner was extremely obvious. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU fell asleep on couch with sweatpants, woke with obvious boner, next to brothers girlfriend and family | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s2g37/tifu_fell_asleep_on_couch_with_sweatpants_woke/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Baconshapes | null | None | null | null | null | 1334058031 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s2ees | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s2ees | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s2ees/how_i_see_everyone_who_posts_on_this_subreddit/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | How I see everyone who posts on this subreddit. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s2ees/how_i_see_everyone_who_posts_on_this_subreddit/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334052166 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s2c9h | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s2c9h | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s2c9h/tifu_cuppa_soup/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I turned on the kettle and walked off to do something else. Came back and poured the water into the powder soup junk. Turns out the kettle wasn't ever plugged in.
Cold lumpy soup. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU cuppa soup. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s2c9h/tifu_cuppa_soup/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | nicolenyan | null | None | null | null | null | 1334036653 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s25m6 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s25m6 | null | 7 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s25m6/tifu_stereotyped/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 20 | null | null | I recently got a new job, and have had difficulty learning people's names (we wear name tags, but you can't always see them). All day I had heard people calling our black manager "Shaniqua." I had a question about something, so I approached her and called by this supposed name. She quickly corrected me and said her name is Shamika... | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU - Stereotyped | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s25m6/tifu_stereotyped/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | anakshot369 | null | None | null | null | null | 1334031881 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s225h | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s225h | null | 23 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s225h/tifu_drove_off_with_a_gas_pump_still_in_my_car/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 54 | null | null | I will be expecting a fine. Other than that, A GOOD DAY. (btw, first post) | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Drove off with a gas pump still in my car. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s225h/tifu_drove_off_with_a_gas_pump_still_in_my_car/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334030598 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s213p | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s213p | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s213p/tifu_and_burnt_my_hand/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I was pouring water into a cup soup and holding the cup with my left hand and missed the extremely small crack that you have to aim the water in, dribbled off the top of the cup all over my hand. But... I ended up with a burn that kinda looks like I punched someone with [rings on] (http://imgur.com/hqJxT) | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU and burnt my hand | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s213p/tifu_and_burnt_my_hand/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334030238 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s20st | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s20st | null | 7 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s20st/tifu_my_relationship_with_a_close_friend/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I'm sorry this isn't funny, but i need to get this off my chest... My friend and i were really close. She's a year ahead of me in high school, and I'm a junior. I met her freshman year, and we hit it off well, but she already had a boyfriend. She eventually fell in love with me the next summer( or so i thought). She cheated on him for me, but she seemed really in love with me. She told me a few obvious lies, but since I'm a nice guy I went along with a few of her lies. Recently, she stopped talking to me, so i got on skype the other night and asked her why she wouldn't talk to me anymore. She "completely forgot" her and my relationship and she said she was with another guy. I was being a jerk about it today during school and called her a whore and told people about her "lies". I realized i was a jerk about it, and i apologized with all my heart to her, and she hasn't even acknowledged my apology yet. I'm not expecting her to accept my apology either. also i'm not asking for advice, but if any of you have ANY advice, that's greatly appreciated.
-Sincerely, the biggest jerk on the planet right now. :'( | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU my relationship with a close friend... | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s20st/tifu_my_relationship_with_a_close_friend/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | SRotD | null | None | null | null | null | 1334027074 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s1xxh | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s1xxh | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s1xxh/congratulations_rtifu_youre_the_subreddit_of_the/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 150 | null | null | [Link!](http://www.reddit.com/r/subredditoftheday) | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Congratulations, /r/tifu! You're the Subreddit of the Day for April 10, 2012! | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s1xxh/congratulations_rtifu_youre_the_subreddit_of_the/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Pawtahmoose | null | None | null | null | null | 1334026745 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | s1xlg | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s1xlg | null | 13 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s1xlg/tifunot_so_bad_but_still_feel_dumb/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 26 | null | null | * Was trying to figure out why my computer was not reading my phone when it was plugged in
* Found the problem, looked at the time, realized I had five minutes to catch the bus for class.
* Realized I forgot my metrocard
*EDIT: Realized I forgot my headphones...now I can't listen to the files I transferred from my computer to my phone...and figuring out why the files weren't transferring was the reason why I forgot my metrocard, ID, and keys.
* Get to school, realize I forgot my ID
* time to go home, realize I forgot my keys. Thank god my sister was home...with her boyfriend
* Time for work, get on the highway, didn't change lanes quickly enough, ended up 50 blocks from my job taking another exit
* Realize I have less than 1/4 tank of gas
* Fuck it, let's get some gas. Traffic.
* Get to work 20 minutes late
* Time to go home, pull out of parking spot, look at mirror, apparently didn't SEE A CAR COMING and almost caused an accident. The car behind me blared its horn for a minute straight.
* Get home, find out I got a C on an open-book exam.
Just one of those days...
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU-Not so bad, but still feel dumb | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s1xlg/tifunot_so_bad_but_still_feel_dumb/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Trollemmiwinks | null | None | null | null | null | 1334171482 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | s4sow | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s4sow | null | 34 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s4sow/tifu_drank_regular_milk_instead_of_lactaid_milk/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 231 | null | null | I'm lactose intolerant. Like continent of Asia, completely lacking the proper digestive enzymes, diarrhea storm kind of lactose intolerant. I woke up kindof sleepy and hungover and drank some regular skim milk (my roommate's). I usually drink Lactaid milk. I couldn't throw it up and I didn't have any lactaid pills on hand so i just manned up and went with it.
So I hopped into my car and felt a little gassy, which I had fully anticipated. I propped up my left butt cheek so that it was slightly facing the driverside window and let er' rip.
... I had to get off the highway and head back to my apartment to grab new pants. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Drank regular milk instead of Lactaid milk: shit my pants on my way to work trying to fart | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s4sow/tifu_drank_regular_milk_instead_of_lactaid_milk/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334133135 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s42hk | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s42hk | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s42hk/tifu_hooked_up_with_a_friend_while_seeing_another/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | Alcohol sucks. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: hooked up with a friend while seeing another girl | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s42hk/tifu_hooked_up_with_a_friend_while_seeing_another/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | GroceryBagSlave | null | None | null | null | null | 1334121020 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s3w2m | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s3w2m | null | 17 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s3w2m/tifu_by_dropping_my_ipod_out_of_the_car_when_i/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 44 | null | null | There I am, riding shotty in my friend's car, minding my own business, when we stop at a red light. I look to my left and see a sweet-ass quarter right there on the sidewalk. "I've got time," I think. Lightning quick like Raiden I hop out the vehicle, pick up the quarter and dash back into my seat. The light changes just in time and we're off.
A few seconds later the music turns off. I reach for my iPod which had been in my lap plugged into the radio thingy, but I can't find it. I trace the cable down to the floor and out the car door. EFFFF! We pull over, I open the door, and the cable is hanging out the car door utterly devoid of my iPod. I hop out and see a few yards behind us my iPod smashed to bits in the middle of the road.
tl;dr I hopped out of my friend's car to pick up a quarter off the ground, but when I did my iPod fell out of the car and got run over. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by dropping my iPod out of the car when I hopped out to pick up a quarter on the sidewalk. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s3w2m/tifu_by_dropping_my_ipod_out_of_the_car_when_i/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | MnidGmae | null | None | null | null | null | 1334112347 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s3p2h | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s3p2h | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s3p2h/tifu_car_sammiched_against_curb_by_semi_ran_over/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 14 | null | null | All because I woke up with only 10 minutes before train departs, so i sped and got in series of unfortunate events | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: car sammiched against curb by semi, ran over pitch fork, popped tire, missed train. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s3p2h/tifu_car_sammiched_against_curb_by_semi_ran_over/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | LittleSprout | null | None | null | null | null | 1334108662 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s3ll7 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s3ll7 | null | 12 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s3ll7/tifu_by_telling_my_professor_and_dissertation/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 110 | null | null | He was saying that a friend of his suggested he should make an "It Gets Better" video for people in academia.
I assumed he meant about being gay, and he was coming out to me for whatever reason, and I said "Oh you really should. It's important for people to hear, etc etc."
He explained to me he meant once you get more used to the pressure of publishing papers and things. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by telling my professor (and dissertation advisor) he should be proud of being gay. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s3ll7/tifu_by_telling_my_professor_and_dissertation/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | throwmeaway1253 | null | None | null | null | null | 1334274827 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s72aw | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s72aw | null | 14 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s72aw/tifu_i_told_a_friend_of_mine_i_had_browsed/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 23 | null | null | She saw it as creepy and stalker-y which I understand, but I tried to explain that I didn't do it with those intentions and just wanted to understand more about her. I said I wouldn't have even told her if I wanted to "stalk" her, I only wanted her to know I sympathized with her about certain things that she poured her heart out on reddit about. But she was too angry to listen. She said we should stop talking to each other altogether and later I found out she blocked me on Facebook and she's not answering my calls or texts either. I am begging her to give me a chance to explain but she won't have anything to do with me right now. Her friendship means the world to me and I can't bear the thought of losing it, what should I do? | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I told a friend of mine I had browsed through her reddit history. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s72aw/tifu_i_told_a_friend_of_mine_i_had_browsed/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334269491 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s6xdb | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s6xdb | null | 21 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s6xdb/tifu_stirred_up_an_epic_shitstorm_on_reddit/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 120 | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/s5cwt/mensrights_suicide_post_was_real_reddit/ | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Stirred up an epic shitstorm on Reddit without checking the facts. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s6xdb/tifu_stirred_up_an_epic_shitstorm_on_reddit/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334263859 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s6rx1 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s6rx1 | null | 10 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s6rx1/tifu_bad_creeped_on_my_crushs_facebook/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 2 | null | null | I want to die. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU bad: Creeped on my crush's facebook, accidentally liked a picture she took of her bf. I see her tomorrow. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s6rx1/tifu_bad_creeped_on_my_crushs_facebook/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | piggy_in_the_mirror | null | None | null | null | null | 1334262734 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s6qti | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s6qti | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s6qti/tifu_made_an_immature_joke_to_my_ex_and_he_took/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | We've been broken up a little over a month and I hadn't seen him for a few weeks, just saw him out randomly today. Stopped to small chat and though it was awkward it was nice to see him. At the end of the convo I said "Try not to be a dick and respond to your texts sometimes" (as a jab, since he said he wanted to stay friends, and said he always responds to his texts). He was LIVID and said he's never been so right in his choice to leaving me. It hurts because I still care about him. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Made an immature joke to my ex and he took it the wrong way. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s6qti/tifu_made_an_immature_joke_to_my_ex_and_he_took/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | nick2345 | null | None | null | null | null | 1334261436 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s6pkf | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s6pkf | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s6pkf/tifu_gave_a_project_presentation_with_my_fly/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Got home from a class presentation today and took a piss, realized I didn't have to unzip. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Gave a project presentation with my fly unzipped. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s6pkf/tifu_gave_a_project_presentation_with_my_fly/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | ta1901 | null | None | null | null | null | 1334259160 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | s6ni2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s6ni2 | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s6ni2/tifu_i_ate_a_bunch_of_popcorn_fainted_and_fell/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 41 | null | null | I was working at an office in a suit and tie.
I like popcorn. I like to eat big handfuls of popcorn at work. As I was doing this, some got stuck in my throat. So I'm desperately trying to swallow, when I lean back, and black out mostly. I fall over backwards in my chair and "wake up" choking and gasping for air. The people next to me look at my like I'm nuts.
Later on I learn there is a vein running close to the esophagus. If you eat a large something, the food chute can expand, this vein can get blocked and you can faint.
Also at work: I was cutting into a case of Pepsi with my pocket knife as the rip-offs don't work. I cut right through a can and it sprays all over under my desk. The director sees me wet, looking for paper towels, chuckles and says "Are we having fun yet?"
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I ate a bunch of popcorn, fainted, and fell over in my chair...at work | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s6ni2/tifu_i_ate_a_bunch_of_popcorn_fainted_and_fell/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | wenttotexas | null | None | null | null | null | 1334255781 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s6kfh | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s6kfh | null | 18 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s6kfh/tifu_opened_my_laptop_to_show_a_potential_date_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 68 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU. Opened my laptop to show a potential date a website. LiveJasmin was open. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s6kfh/tifu_opened_my_laptop_to_show_a_potential_date_a/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334255079 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s6jrx | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s6jrx | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s6jrx/tifu_shot_a_framing_nail_right_through_the_240v/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Wasn't paying attention while framing in a window and shot a nail clean through the red wire inside the electrical running to my dryer. Idiot. Idiot move. Luckily breaker was already off and it only costed 25 bucks in wire and 30 minutes to run the new cable.
http://imgur.com/AeJlA | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU. Shot a framing nail right through the 240V wire. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s6jrx/tifu_shot_a_framing_nail_right_through_the_240v/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Killasasparilla | null | None | null | null | null | 1334245571 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s6b40 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s6b40 | null | 57 | null | True | null | /r/tifu/comments/s6b40/tifu_drove_shitfaced_rolled_out_of_a_girl_i_was/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 70 | null | null | Last night I decided it'd be a good idea to drink some Sailor Jerry's. It was... for the first hour. After however many drinks I was invited over to my friend's apartment for sexy time. I barely remember driving there. Somehow I made it to her apartment without killing myself or anyone on the road, and stumbled up into her room.
We started kissing and getting our sexytime on. As we're going doggystyle I get the feeling that I need to puke so, I roll from penis inside of her to the floor of her room and crawl my naked ass to her bathroom. I remember throwing up in the toilet then washing my face and walking nakedly passed her roommates room back to the room I was in so that my friend could dress me while I babbled on about how sorry I was.
This morning I was awoken to find that A. I did indeed drive drunk B. I did indeed throw up in the toilet, and on the toilet, and the floor, and the sink, and the mirror, and the wall C. Her roommate was awake and aware of what was going on. Dear God, I have made an ass of myself but on the brightside, her roommate greeted me this morning with "Nice Penis". | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Drove shitfaced, rolled out of a girl I was having sex with to paint her bathroom walls in vomit. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s6b40/tifu_drove_shitfaced_rolled_out_of_a_girl_i_was/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334208436 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s5qvx | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s5qvx | null | 34 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s5qvx/tifu_opened_loud_porn_on_my_computer_with_my_boss/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 152 | null | null | First thing, I opened my laptop while sitting next to my boss to find porn still loudly playing from the night before and I couldn't stop it. It kept going after I slammed my laptop shut. Also, I'm a woman and my boss is a man if that adds any more layers of awkward. So, yay! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Opened loud porn on my computer with my boss sitting next to me. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s5qvx/tifu_opened_loud_porn_on_my_computer_with_my_boss/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | ATierney | null | None | null | null | null | 1334200121 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s5k4u | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s5k4u | null | 8 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s5k4u/tifu_put_shampoo_on_my_toothbrush_and_then/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 29 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU put shampoo on my toothbrush and then realized I had toothpaste in my hair. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s5k4u/tifu_put_shampoo_on_my_toothbrush_and_then/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334198650 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s5ipp | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s5ipp | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s5ipp/tifu_by_i_accidently_pulling_of_the_z_key_and_the/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Can anyone tell me how the put the key back on the keyboard? I have no idea what to do with computers :/ | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by i accidently pulling of the 'z' key and the 'rctrl' key on my laptop , anyone know how to put it back on (computer is Acer Aspire 5742-6643)? | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s5ipp/tifu_by_i_accidently_pulling_of_the_z_key_and_the/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | T3HK4T | null | None | null | null | null | 1334196928 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s5h0d | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s5h0d | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s5h0d/tifu_forgot_to_take_off_my_pants_when_using_the/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 21 | null | null | (All Happened Yesterday)
I woke up, feeling sorta sick, but it wasn't terrible, so i sucked it up.
As a Sub. at a middle school today (The High School I normally work in was closed, another story) I went out the door, and started driving.
When I got to the school, I was about 7 minutes late, not a big deal, so I progressed through the day, until 3rd period (6 periods in a day, excluding lunch) in which I had to take a BAS (Big-Ass-Shit) I couldn't go until the period was over (18 minutes) so I just gave the kids their work, and did what I was supposed to, trying to avoid moving much. When the class finally ended, I ran to the bathroom, and sat on the toilet, Forgetting to pull down my pants.
It was BAAAAADDD. So I took my pants & underwear off (Luckily for me, i was in the handicapped stall) and washed it, and attempted to dry it, which didn't go so well. Had to continue the day for 3 more hours with wet underwear, got home, changed, threw the old ones away.
TL;DR: Had to poop, had to wait to poop, pooped; with pants still on, Cleaned It Up, Continued Day
(If anyone has any questions, I'll answer the best I can.) | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Forgot to take off my pants when using the crapper. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s5h0d/tifu_forgot_to_take_off_my_pants_when_using_the/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334193696 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s5duj | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s5duj | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s5duj/tifu_humiliated_myself_in_front_of_entire/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 13 | null | null | Thinking I could improvise a dance solo because I forgot nearly the entire routine.
I fucked up bad. The entire school was laughing at me and recorded it. It's probably all over Facebook. Scared to watch the video, | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Humiliated myself in front of entire highschool while performing on stage. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s5duj/tifu_humiliated_myself_in_front_of_entire/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Kewl_Beanz9797 | null | None | null | null | null | 1334190256 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s5akc | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s5akc | null | 14 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s5akc/tifu_when_i_dropped_my_ipod_in_milk_for_the_third/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 12 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU When I dropped my Ipod in milk for the THIRD TIME! | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s5akc/tifu_when_i_dropped_my_ipod_in_milk_for_the_third/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334360912 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s8rll | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s8rll | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s8rll/tifu_by_trying_to_jump_over_a_gate_and/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | So today after school, I see my friend with his new car. It's a black 2011 Honda Accord that his parent's bought a couple months ago. We're Juniors in high school by the way. So I go over to greet him by trying to jump over this small gate. The gate wasn't too tall so I though I could make it, but I failed to realize that there were spikes on it. As I jumped, my jeans got caught on one of the spikes and it moves the gate, accidentally hitting his car. This is the best part, it is only a small chip in the paint. It is barely noticeable and he expects me to pay him back. Jackass. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: By trying to jump over a gate and accidentally hitting my friend's car. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s8rll/tifu_by_trying_to_jump_over_a_gate_and/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | lessatms | null | None | null | null | null | 1334357609 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s8ozf | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s8ozf | null | 18 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s8ozf/tifu_i_quit_something_i_loved_and_have_thought_of/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 14 | null | null | I'm a senior in highschool who grew up playing only rec baseball, none of that club or travel bullshit. My highschool is good at baseball despite being a predominantly lacrosse school. I tried out freshman year and, largely due to my former obesity, was cut.
Fast forward 3 years and I am now a senior whose been on the team since sophomore year. I never started. I was always on the verge but never broke through (right fielder btw). I always pushed through the torment of sitting on the bench all year by telling myself "if I work hard enough and kiss ass enough, maybe I'll get my spot, especially senior year...". I went to every practice, every weight lift, every out-of-school hitting session, everything. Money and time were spent in this venture. And I got better. A hell of a to better. I went from being a fat little 5'4 kid to a 5'11 lean right fielder who could hold his own in the weight room and on the diamond. Even more than the gains I made physically, I grew to appreciate the friends I made.
This year I put in even more work than ever. The first scrimmages came around and I didn't get the start, but got some at-bats in the final innings. The games came around, and still I didn't play. I only got into a game against an art magnet school whom we were beating 29-0...that was the last time ive played. The next time I expected to play was in a double header over Spring Break that meant absolutely nothing. It was essentially 2 scrimmages. Still, I did not play.
To say Ive been pissed is analogous to saying the grand canyon is kind of big. I've spent the past 3 years sitting on a bench and working my ass off all seemingly for nothing. I blame it on my coach for being self-centered (kind of hypocritical I know) enough to care way too much about winning high school baseball games and for living vicariously through his favorite players. I blame it on on me for not making enough of an impact on my coach to play more. I blame it on a host of other things, but these two reasons stand out.
2 days ago, I went into my coaches office with my uniform to quit. I asked him if we cold talk and before the words finished coming out of my mouth, man points aside, I started to get emotional. It was the end of a part of my life, the death of a person almost, that person being Baseball. In our talk, one quote stuck with me that my coach said: "my old coach used to tell me, 'seniors who don't play aren't worth shit' but I don't try to make that my philosophy". .......gee coach thanks? After a long discussion he gave me another day to think about it. I came back two days after and said "I'm sticking with my gut" and quit. I did not want to rake the field for kids younger than me. I did not want to be the Only senior on the bench. I no longer wanted to tell people who asked me if we had won, or how I did in the game that I don't play. I was done with the wasted effort and the embarrassment being a bench senior brought me.
It's been two days since I quit and all I can think about is how much I regret my decision. I miss the team. I miss the comradery. I miss having something to do. I miss baseball. By doing this, Part of me is asking for someone to comfort me in my decision and part of meiswarning those who are thinking of quitting something that they love: **THINK IT OVER FOR A LONG TIME AND IF AT ALL POSSIBLE, STICK IT OUT.** I may be only a highschool senior but I believe this decision, no matter how trivial it may seem to outsiders, will stick with me for years to come.
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I quit something I loved and have thought of nothing but how I regret my decision. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s8ozf/tifu_i_quit_something_i_loved_and_have_thought_of/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | hypnofed | null | None | null | null | null | 1334346749 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s8fjp | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s8fjp | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s8fjp/is_anyone_else_getting_tired_of_the_various_i/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 84 | null | null | So we seem to be getting QUITE a lot of these posts. Am I the only one who finds them repetitive and disgusting? What made me join this subreddit was the original thread and all the stories that boiled down to social fuck ups as well as the "milk on the shelf, cereal in the fridge" mistakes. Now if the "I shit myself" posts are something the community and/or admins want, then I'm fine with that and can without regrets unsubscribe. But I'd like to know, am I the only one who hates having to so see these TIFUs? | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Is anyone else getting tired of the various "I shit my pants" TIFUs? | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s8fjp/is_anyone_else_getting_tired_of_the_various_i/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | zfriderici | null | None | null | null | null | 1334346086 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s8ewt | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s8ewt | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s8ewt/tifu_just_read_the_text_box/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Got drunk last night, decided to pull an all nighter (was successful), ate breakfast, hangover hit me all at once, got sick, barely made work and my presentation, haven't slept yet. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Just read the text box | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s8ewt/tifu_just_read_the_text_box/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | playingwithcrayons | null | None | null | null | null | 1334343605 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s8clq | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s8clq | null | 14 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s8clq/tifu_tried_to_sooth_my_sorrows_with_a_bath_with/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 133 | null | null | (reposted cause I failed to put [TIFU] in the title first time round!)
Was painfully tired and seriously beaten down by a really rough several months, decided to go all out with self-care: bath, candles, even moved speakers from bedroom to bathroom.
While unplugging the speakers from my room to move them to the bathroom, needed to turn on the nearby standing-lamp light for a quick second in order to see the outlet. Saw my jeans hanging on the standing lamp, made mental note to just turn on standing lamp for a half second then make sure to turn it off. Didn't.
Began running bath, lighting candles, smelled burning.
Assumed surely some tragic candle incident since I rarely even light candles.
Return to my room to find my FAVORITE pair of jeans (I own TWO pairs and both are from 10 years ago - they don't make em like this anymore ;( :( )...
Also my grandma recently passed and I have a memory relating to these jeans and her which has been giving me weekly comfort to be reminded of when I wear them.
Did I burn them on candles? No. I burned the SHIT out of these pants for leaving them on a freaking standing lamp and turning lamp on. I am an idiot.
Also - I am so attached to these (and feeling idiotic for being so attached to a material thing especially in the scheme of things right now this seems so irrelevant in my life) - that I swear if it burned a leg off the jeans, I'd crudely sew a friggin pillow case onto the leg area and still wear them.
BUT, what part of the pants did it burn? The CROTCH. The entire crotch is gone. I can't even pretend to know how to sew a crotch area back into jeans. I don't even care how shitty it looks, I'd do it and wear em if I knew how.
So PS Anyone know how I could find someone to sew a crotch onto jeans? Or are there even places to trac | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null |
[TIFU] Tried to sooth my sorrows with a bath with music and candles; managed to set fire to my favorite 10-yr-old pair of jeans which I have been wearing weekly because they remind me of my recently passed grandma
| null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s8clq/tifu_tried_to_sooth_my_sorrows_with_a_bath_with/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | playingwithcrayons | null | None | null | null | null | 1334333417 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s837l | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s837l | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s837l/tried_to_sooth_my_sorrows_with_a_bath_with_music/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 4 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Tried to sooth my sorrows with a bath with music and candles; managed to set fire to my favorite 10-yr-old pair of jeans which I have been wearing weekly because they remind me of my recently passed grandma | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s837l/tried_to_sooth_my_sorrows_with_a_bath_with_music/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | feelinweird | null | None | null | null | null | 1334308463 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s7pb5 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s7pb5 | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s7pb5/tifu_kneecap_guy_says_way_too_much_to_roommate_of/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 9 | null | null | I posted [this](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rnpz0/tifu_fucked_up_my_kneecap_in_front_of_60_people/) about two weeks ago. This new story is not at all relevant but it hurts. I serendipitously met the roommate of the girl I secretly adore and drunkenly divulged more-than-necessary information about my infatuation with her. Keep in mind I know nothing about either of them apart from the fact that cute-girl is a screen printer (an art after my own heart). Not to mention I left a fat message on roommate's answering machine about how she should not divulge said information to cute-girl. Guessing that the room-mate knows cute-girl much better than she knows me, she will spill ALL OF IT to cutie, making it awkward for me cos I serve her coffee every other morning. Brutal, sorry if you read all of this.
**TLDR**: TMI to roommate of cute-girl I want to get to know more. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: kneecap guy says way too much to roommate of cute girl. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s7pb5/tifu_kneecap_guy_says_way_too_much_to_roommate_of/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334303512 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s7nhw | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s7nhw | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s7nhw/tifu_completely_hypothetical_if_i_used_a_fire/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Just curious, *of course*, because it's not a real thing that happened **at all**... but really, advice? | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: (completely hypothetical) if I used a fire extinguisher in dorm for fun? | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s7nhw/tifu_completely_hypothetical_if_i_used_a_fire/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | stillconscious | null | None | null | null | null | 1334279866 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s76ut | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s76ut | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s76ut/tifu_didnt_eat_food_for_a_few_days_got_really/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 55 | null | null | A few months ago I did a juice fast and it felt fantastic so on Monday I decided it was time to start another one. I'm trying to lose weight. I bought lots of fruits and vegetables to juice and have been mostly sitting around my house all week. Last time I juiced I drank 4-5 glasses of juice a day, but this time I kind of just didn't bother with it and I've only been doing 1-2 glasses. Woke up today not feeling very well and have had small intermittent bouts of diarrhea throughout the day.
About an hour ago I decided I wanted to get high so I packed some really tasty shit up and got to about a [7]. About 10 minutes later I started feeling really weak and hungry so I decided to make some more juice. Stood up, walked to the kitchen, started getting veggies out of the fridge and then began feeling really lightheaded. It came on suddenly and over a few minutes got steadily worse and worse. I've passed out before so I know this feeling. I decided I better sit down and drink some water. I did that but it didn't help and the lightheadedness continued to escalate. I grabbed some almonds and ate a handful and while it felt great to eat, I still felt like I was about to pass out. I then started feeling really hot and sweaty and had to take my hoodie off. It was at this point that I could barely keep my eyes open and felt the need to lie down. I laid down on the floor just trying to take deep breaths and stay conscious.
I'm not sure how long I was lying there but eventually I felt yet another liquid movement coming on in my bowels so I decided I had to get up and sit on the toilet. I did so and sat there spraying #3 into the bowl with my eyes shut, still on the cusp of unconsciousness. After a few minutes I felt a little better and opened my eyes. When I looked down at my pants and underwear I discovered that I had not quite made it to the toilet in time. Once I felt I could stand up, my first order of business was to scrub out my pants and underwear, then I rushed to the kitchen and ate some food. Now I'm laying on my couch and am starting to feel better. Whoops. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU Didn't eat food for a few days, got really high, passed out, shit my pants | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s76ut/tifu_didnt_eat_food_for_a_few_days_got_really/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334276691 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s740d | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s740d | null | 24 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s740d/tifu_accidentally_sat_on_a_boys_face_he_hates_me/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | And my butt hurts. We were playing shark and minnows (we're 15, we only played today I swear) and someone pushed him down and I got pushed, resulting in my ass connecting with his face. He reported me to the principle for hacking a classmate's gmail account later that day and hates me. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Accidentally sat on a boy's face, he hates me now. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s740d/tifu_accidentally_sat_on_a_boys_face_he_hates_me/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | KamiCrit | null | None | null | null | null | 1334275940 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s73d0 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s73d0 | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s73d0/tifu_spilt_power_steering_fluid_down_the_front_of/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Was doing my own thing in Autoshop when the teacher requested that I go find some small diameter tubing for the clutch actuator lines.
So I make my way to the parts room and start digging around for tubing. I spot a round tub up above me on a shelf that looks like it would hold cottage cheese/sour cream. Just like all the other nuts and bolts I've been digging through I figured it was the same. Wrong.
As I tilt the tub towards me a thick, cold, oily, liquid falls and runs down the front of my COLLAR shirt. I soon found out I was covered in power steering fluid.
I then went to the sink, cleaned myself up and my right hand man Derp lent me his rather stylish collar shirt. Lucky for me he in his bag he has two more collar shirts at the ready. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Spilt power steering fluid down the front of myself | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s73d0/tifu_spilt_power_steering_fluid_down_the_front_of/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | InLoveWithABoy | null | None | null | null | null | 1334443832 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sa2gc | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sa2gc | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sa2gc/tifu_ipod_taken_away_teacher_finds_note/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | For the past week or so I brought my iPod to study hall(my school is very strict about phones and shit). Angry Birds decided to be a dick and blast the volume. The room is always very silent, because the teacher likes us to hear her eating her Twinkies. When she was heard the noise, she started walking towards me. I was pushing that volume button so fast, Chuck Norris would be proud. So, she takes it away after questioning me on what the hell I was doing. It wouldn't be been so bad, had I not write a note in class to my jackass friend. In it, I swore a lot &called her a lesbian-whore. Yeah, BIG mistake. She took it to the office, office called mom, I got ISS for 1 day. Note: I'm 13. (first post!) | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU- iPod taken away, teacher finds note. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sa2gc/tifu_ipod_taken_away_teacher_finds_note/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334439194 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s9z2e | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s9z2e | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s9z2e/tifu_got_too_drunk_read_34_year_old_myspace/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 14 | null | null | So, Thursday evening I decide to have a few drinks. I drank more than I should have and started reading old emails and Myspace messages from anywhere between 3-5 years ago from ladies who I screwed up with or they screwed me up and I got pretty depressed over how many mistakes I've made in my life.
Went to sleep, woke up, at 2 am, in the middle of a dream about my most recent ex that I haven't seen since January and continued the nice, little wave of sadness due to how overwhelmingly happy I was in the dream. Couldn't get back to sleep even though my first order of business was a dentist appointment at 7am.
Went to the appointment and through whatever signals I was accidentally giving my dentist, she made sure to tell me that she was married and just doesn't wear her ring during exams.
Went back to work, got off work, decided to go a town over for pizza and I have to get gas before I leave. Get gas and start the 20-25 minute drive to the pizza place. I notice while I'm trying to adjust my side mirrors that I had left my gas cap off and the lid open, thus leaving my gas cap fluttering in the wind for the past 6 miles. Have to go another few stoplights before I get the chance to hop out of my car to close it. While doing that, the city bus full of locals start mocking me for being an idiotic white guy.
On the way back home from the pizza place, I was texting a friend while at the stoplights. He sends me a text that I read while coasting up to the next red light and decide that I don't need to text back. Move my phone from steering wheel-level to my lap, look over and there's a cop who wasn't too pleased with my actions. I was pulled over and got lucky enough to get off with a warning.
Friday the 13th wasn't really my day, I guess. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU Got too drunk, read 3-4 year old Myspace messages from ex-girlfriends, had a dream about my most recent ex, drove six miles with my gas cap open and a slew of other things. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s9z2e/tifu_got_too_drunk_read_34_year_old_myspace/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | man_of_porno | null | None | null | null | null | 1334432670 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s9udh | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s9udh | null | 40 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s9udh/tifu_i_drank_half_a_bottle_of_nyquil_and_threw_up/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 78 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU i drank half a bottle of NyQuil and threw up everywhere. unable to walk i slept in my vomit for 5 hours till my grandparents found me. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s9udh/tifu_i_drank_half_a_bottle_of_nyquil_and_threw_up/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334430766 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s9sy9 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s9sy9 | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s9sy9/tifu_being_very_sap_while_texting_a_friend_of_mine/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | I just got a phone recent after nearly a year of not having one, and I decided to try to pick up texting again. Just to get this out of the way, I can't text well. Some of you are probably asking, "How the hell can you not be good at texting when you can type and write"? For me, I just get nervous when I text, and whenever I do text I need A LOT of room to type my messages or whatever I want to say across. I usually have to make two separate messages to type what I want to say due to character limits on text messages, but then I start doubting what I wrote in the first message. Then I have to check it and it throws me off my natural speaking or writing rhythm.
So, I'm bad at texting but I wanted to try to keep a friend company through texting and maybe lighten up her day through some small talk. She was babysitting for 12 hours, so I could relate on how boring that must have been. Whenever I tried to babysit, I always appreciated a good text or IM chat. I text her and the conversation ends very awkwardly, with me telling her that I don't feel like I'm entertaining her (bad choice of words, huh?) and that maybe I should stop talking. I proceeded to tell her that I'm really bad at texting and had to try to explain it to her. She just stopped texting me after I made an explanation.
I thought that maybe she had to put the kid to bed and just forgot about me, and I thought "I should forget about it, it's normal of people to forget." Then today when I was checking Facebook for shits and giggles (I never use it), and while scrolling down the most recent posts I saw a post on there from the girl I was texting saying that she wanted to rant to somebody. What scared me about it was that she posted it right after I sent my text to her (counted down the hours from when she posted her message, and it was 15-20 minutes after my message).
I'm not gonna confront her on it. I'll just let it be. I really want to ask her if the rant was about me or not though. I feel really bad now that I not necessarily messed up, but I got on her bad side because I can't communicate properly over a phone. I just wanted to get that off my chest.
Sorry Nicki. If I did piss you off, I didn't mean to. I just wanted to try to do something nice, but ended up trying too hard, haha. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Being very SAP while texting a friend of mine. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s9sy9/tifu_being_very_sap_while_texting_a_friend_of_mine/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | OrangeMonkeyee | null | None | null | null | null | 1334428963 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s9rp1 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s9rp1 | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s9rp1/burned_my_arm/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Burned my arm | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s9rp1/burned_my_arm/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334427027 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s9q9r | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s9q9r | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s9q9r/tifu_i_cockblocked_a_friend_by_making_everyone/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 30 | null | null | So, as pathetic as this sounds, here we go.
Lately I've been somewhat seeing this girl, we've had fun, she claimed she likes me etc etc etc...
So today i realized things weren't as good as i suspected, so i went the pub with some friends, we watched a soccer match, and we had a generally good night, until i got drunk, at first it was fine, having a laugh etc.
Then came the problems. i decided a Beer + vodka was a good idea, i downed the drink, and was fine... at first.
Suffice to say i ended up too drunk ended up talking about everything i shouldn't have, i spoke about exes, tastes in women, fuck, i even spoke about gravity and how it's holding us all down... i fucked up guys.
My friend needed this, and i messed it up.
I love my friends with all my heart and think this may have screwed me over a bit.
TL'DR: got drunk, fucked shit up. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | [TIFU] I cockblocked a friend by making everyone depressed with my problems. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s9q9r/tifu_i_cockblocked_a_friend_by_making_everyone/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334380635 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | s95cg | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s95cg | null | 4 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s95cg/tifu_broken_friendship_rude_awakening_gonna_get/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I made a jokingly comment on someones status. I really screwed up there. 2 family members who have been friends for 30 years are no longer friends. After school, my mom picked me up. A truck failed at merging into another lane, and rammed my side and door when i was sleeping. Somehow got one person to be mad at me, now all his 9 friends are pissed off at me and wanna beat me up. I told the principal (wtf was i gonna do???) and his other friend which is my friend is pissed off also. In karate sparring, I blocked his kick, Landed in a jab, and a hook. Went for a side kick and ripped the loudest fart ever. I ate something wrong this morning, which ended up in about 5 bathroom trips and a terrible stomach ache.
[EDIT] The title sounds like the names would be half life chapters. Thats because i played about 1 hour of half life. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | [TIFU] Broken friendship, Rude awakening, Gonna get jumped, Another broken friendship, Accidental gas passing, A stomach ache and 10 bathroom trips later... | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s95cg/tifu_broken_friendship_rude_awakening_gonna_get/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | BlueBallsMcGee | null | None | null | null | null | 1334371060 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s8z3p | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s8z3p | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s8z3p/tifu_corollary_missed_a_casual_sex_opportunity/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU Corollary: Missed a casual sex opportunity, instead gained a casual sex partner, established through the phrase "sex kitten"... she was joking. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s8z3p/tifu_corollary_missed_a_casual_sex_opportunity/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | BlueBallsMcGee | null | None | null | null | null | 1334367357 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | s8wel | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_s8wel | null | 15 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/s8wel/tifu_when_i_completely_missed_a_casual_sex/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 23 | null | null | I was invited to a girl's house at a time when I would arrive at 9 PM... The word "boy toy" was later used. I'm a fucking idiot. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU when I completely missed a casual sex opportunity | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/s8wel/tifu_when_i_completely_missed_a_casual_sex/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | nuxenolith | null | None | null | null | null | 1334529224 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sbel7 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sbel7 | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sbel7/tifu_by_shitting_my_pants_in_front_of_neil/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Jesus H. Christ, I am done with these shat myself/pissed myself/vomited all over "fuck-ups." They're not original. They're involuntary bodily functions that just so happened to be incredibly inopportune, the result of bad luck.
Genuine fuck-ups involve some gross misunderstanding or foot-in-mouth input to create an undesired scene. Preferably something to which I can at least *pretend* to relate. Crapping your pants because you thought the suppository was a dildo isn't the kind of schadenfreude I come here to read.
/rant
*And now, back to your regularly scheduled programming,* **["Ow! My Balls!"](http://imgur.com/dkzdP)** | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by shitting my pants in front of Neil deGrasse Tyson, pissing spaghetti all over my cat, and vomiting into my grandmother's casket—simultaneously | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sbel7/tifu_by_shitting_my_pants_in_front_of_neil/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334509673 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sayw5 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sayw5 | null | 8 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sayw5/tifu_by_getting_too_drunk_and_then_falling_into/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 36 | null | null | Got blackout drunk, came home and threw up all over my dorm sink. Then I went to the bathroom, pissed everywhere but the toilet, slipped and fell into my own urine. Threw up in the shower too, so I ended up with vomit and piss all over my clothes. Unfortunately, this was all witnessed by two friends that brought me home and my roommate. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by getting too drunk and then falling into my own piss | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sayw5/tifu_by_getting_too_drunk_and_then_falling_into/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334466150 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | sagtm | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sagtm | null | 23 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sagtm/tifu_by_telling_the_truth_drinking_booze_and/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 36 | null | null | I guess this is also a vent/rant/fuckitI'mtypingmyproblemsontheinternet.
I'm 28 years old and I'm upset at myself. I admitted to my girlfriend tonight that I've
been drinking when I said I wouldn't anymore to get her back. I was never violent when I drank mind you, but I would not care so much about others feelings which is why I enjoyed drinking by myself. I found it hard to piss myself off because I said something brutally honest.
Her hamster died this morning and I was trying to be there for her by offering her to spend the night and to cook dinner for her (again for the millionth time). She rejected all attempts at me trying to be a knight except when she asked me to take care of the cage with the dead rodent inside. I made a proper casket out of a shoe-box and the hamsters favorite things (a ball and his hut) then took him to the animal shelter to be cremated.
So after she said she didn't want to see me tonight, I bought myself a small (750ml) bottle of Evan Williams bourbon and had 3 shots over the span of 3 hours. Well, she heard a difference in my voice and kept pushing if I had been drinking and I admitted that I had. Then I admitted that when she wasn't here after a 6 day visit, which was the norm [6days with me, 1 without] I would have 2 beers or half a 40oz. She got pretty upset because I was keeping this from her and lied to her which I totally understand. I would be upset if I was lied to too.
I think what irks me the most is that I can't smoke because of a bad run-in with the justice system so I have a few shots once a week for an oosa moment. I guess I'm an addict. If it's not smoking than it's drinking. I feel I have to do something to get that alternate reality feeling which afterward I usually draw or write to release my frustrations. Either way, I fucked up by making a promise I didn't keep. I don't really think I intended to keep the promise when I made it which is even worse. God I hate myself for it; making the promise and breaking it knowing I would.
Part of me feels like I'm blessed to live in this country (U.S.) but I'm unlucky enough to be able to have a family cushion to support my coming of age. The other part of me feels like I had every oppurtunity to make an awesome me but fucked up every step of the way. No matter how you slice it, I feel like I got a shitty deal but should be grateful I have an $8.50/hr job breaking my back and $1300 worth of bills each month (excluding probation).
To be honest, I feel like I'm a complete fuck up and a wasted oppurtunity. I joined the service out of high school because I felt I would fuck up college if I started early. I ended up going to college after I fucked up my life trying to make it as a mechanic, and fucked that up too. I almost have a degree but fucked that up. I want to blame it on stress from my roommate shooting himself and committing suicide to my new roommate who wanted to committ suicide, to dealing with getting kicked out of apartments because I have a criminal record then trying to get girl back and there are these bills to pay... OY! This is all just from the spring semester. I don't even know what the hell is going on anymore.
So she told me I have to choose between the bottle and her. I instantly wanted to say "You babe! There is nothing better than being with you my love! I'll pour the bottle out right now and flush it all and never drink again!" I didn't say that though. I didn't say that because deep down I knew I really enjoyed my drink. Its never been an interference with my work and I do NOT drink and drive. I mainly drink some by myself and enjoy my own company with notepad open or my sketch pad/guitar. My drinking never got in the way of my life until I decided to be in love with this girl (who is 20 years old, still living with her mother).
If I wasn't on probation, I would be smoking pot. I would have a bowl a night and draw/write daily. I feel that the booze or smoke puts my defenses at ease and I find it easier to allow my emotions to spill out so I can deal with them better. Maybe I'm an idiot and never learned how to properly deal with compounded stess in a healthy way. Tried exersice but it didn't work as well as a pencil in my hand.
So reddit community I present to you my problem. I fucked myself by drinking and enjoying it. I really don't know what to do. I love her so much, but I also really love my intoxicants. She makes me feel like I can have a great relationship with another person; the drugs make me feel like I can have a great relationship with myself. I guess that's the end of my rant/vent. Thank you for reading.
TL;DR I made a promise, broke it and don't know if I regret it or not.
**Edit** Thank you all for the support and excellent advice. Upvotes around and thank yous are given. Talked to her a bit today and she is still upset, as I would be too, but willing to talk so I will listen and take some suggestions pointed out here. Thanks again. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by telling the truth; drinking booze and smoking the reefer. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sagtm/tifu_by_telling_the_truth_drinking_booze_and/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Iclearedmycookies | null | None | null | null | null | 1334460041 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sadae | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sadae | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sadae/tifu_by_telling_the_truth_drinking_booze_and/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by telling the truth; drinking booze and smoking the reefer. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sadae/tifu_by_telling_the_truth_drinking_booze_and/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | thejamesstage | null | None | null | null | null | 1334613462 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sd3j4 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sd3j4 | null | 8 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sd3j4/tifu_by_using_a_vending_machine_my_chips_getting/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 9 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by using a vending machine, my chips getting stuck, inserting another dollar to get them both, and then both getting stuck | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sd3j4/tifu_by_using_a_vending_machine_my_chips_getting/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | web_weaver | null | None | null | null | null | 1334612056 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sd23x | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sd23x | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sd23x/tifu_made_of_fun_of_someone_who_had_lost_her/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 43 | null | null | I saw a friend of mine wearing glasses, which i didn't knew she needed...so I started making fun of her, in a friendly way...she tells me that if I only knew why she had them on I wouldn't be making jokes...so I try to be funny saying: "but I do know....its cause you cant see!"
turns out her grandpa had died and because she had been crying she wasnt able to put the lenses on... | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: made of fun of someone who had lost her grandpa... | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sd23x/tifu_made_of_fun_of_someone_who_had_lost_her/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334608876 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | scyy4 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_scyy4 | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/scyy4/tifu_by_getting_my_first_ever_detention_and/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | So today, I've gotten my first ever detention in high school, and even in my life. I got this detention by promptly holding my former friend's head and smacking his face into a locker twice, causing him to get a bloody nose, and forehead. Now, don't worry, I'm not some dickhead who'd go hit people to solve my problems, usually, it takes a lot to anger me to the point of physical reaction. So what did this guy do? He insulted my niece. Or, that's how I took it.
A couple days before, I vented to a couple of my friends, and he happened to be one of the people there. I vented to them about my mom not bringing me to San Diego, preventing me from visiting my niece, who has sadly passed away at the age of four. I wanted to visit her one last time, before the funeral, and it angered me on how my mom bluntyl told me 'no.' My friends were understanding, though my former one didn't seem to be listening at the time, as he even got a call on his phone while I was talking to them about it.
But then, two days, today, he decided to 'cheer me up', by saying how I 'Didn't need a plane to see some dumb bitch in San Diego, and that I shouldn't care about her anyways.' I lost it, because my niece was one of the closest family members I've ever had, and I decided to physically take it out on him. I overreacted, and it's been about 6 hours since it's happened. I saw him during lunch, but he's avoided me, turning to the other direction. I knew that he didn't have the full story of what happened, and I didn't have any right to judge him and hurt him like that. I'm a fucktard.
tl;dr Got my first detention ever by hitting old friend's face on a locker, due to a misunderstanding of what he said about my niece. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by getting my first ever detention and losing a very close friend of mine. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/scyy4/tifu_by_getting_my_first_ever_detention_and/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334602617 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | scsnx | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_scsnx | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/scsnx/tifu_by_stealing_a_car_getting_caught_and_then/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | First day of spring break, me and my friend get a brilliant idea that we are gonna go meet some guys and hang out on the beach. We have to steal her dads car to do this. We finally get the keys, almost get to their condo, and they fell asleep. So we come back and get caught and her parents have to call my mom at 3am. Not to mention, my mom had also found some pictures I sent and recieved to someone. If anyone fucked up more than me, you must've blown up the world or something. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by stealing a car, getting caught, and then getting caught with pictures. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/scsnx/tifu_by_stealing_a_car_getting_caught_and_then/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | perrysix | null | None | null | null | null | 1334601200 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | scr9s | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_scr9s | null | 8 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/scr9s/tifu_exposing_my_laptop_to_minimal_amount_of/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 30 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU exposing my laptop to minimal amount of redbull. lost past few days work on my dissertation ( due on the 25th) by accidentally saving the backup in the wrong file directory ( not on the backup) >.< | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/scr9s/tifu_exposing_my_laptop_to_minimal_amount_of/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334589673 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sch5i | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sch5i | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sch5i/tifu_loosing_5_and_then_20_mins_later_loosing_my/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | So yeah, shit. Guess I'll have to smoke blunts all 4/20. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU, loosing £5 and then 20 mins later loosing my 25g tobacco pouch. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sch5i/tifu_loosing_5_and_then_20_mins_later_loosing_my/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334577235 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sc9b6 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sc9b6 | null | 13 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sc9b6/tifu_with_my_breakfast/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 42 | null | null | First, I bit a banana. Without peeling it. Then, I made eggs- in my cereal. Then I put the milk in the cupboard and forgot about until about five minutes ago (ate breakfast at 5:30). | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU with my breakfast | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sc9b6/tifu_with_my_breakfast/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Timaeus_L | null | None | null | null | null | 1334547619 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sbudg | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sbudg | null | 83 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sbudg/tifu_by_nearly_blinding_myself_trying_to_take_my/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 185 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by nearly blinding myself trying to take my contacts out when I didn't wear them today. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sbudg/tifu_by_nearly_blinding_myself_trying_to_take_my/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | Dyslexicmusic | null | None | null | null | null | 1334539182 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sbmv3 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sbmv3 | null | 16 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sbmv3/tifu_by_going_too_triggerhappy_with_cleaning_my/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 15 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by going too "trigger-happy" with cleaning my MacBook's hard drive and now it won't start up | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sbmv3/tifu_by_going_too_triggerhappy_with_cleaning_my/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334704038 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sf0kv | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sf0kv | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sf0kv/spent_my_entire_school_day_on_reddit/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | Spent my entire school day on reddit | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sf0kv/spent_my_entire_school_day_on_reddit/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | zerosandwiches | null | None | null | null | null | 1334698489 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sevhp | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sevhp | null | 48 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sevhp/tifu_crashed_a_minivan_while_racing_a_dude_on_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 85 | null | null | I'm on the way to work in my Mazda 5 on a windy road, when this dude in a Jetta GLI comes screaming up behind me. Rather than pull over to let him pass, I stomped it and tried to see if I could keep him off my ass (couldn't). When it was time for my turnoff, I misjudged the curve and went into a tall curb on the other side of the road. Smashed up car. The dude behind me blew by without ever slowing. I swear I could hear him giggling as he tore on.
Because it was technically on a freeway onramp (but not really), a CHP car came along and sat there with the lights on until the tow truck came (an hour) While waiting for said truck, I got to sit on the curb as car after car slowed down, gawked, saw me sitting there, began to laugh and drove off.
Also, it's a company car, so I had to explain why I was 3 hours late to work and why I ruined their car.
[Here's a pic.](http://imgur.com/cpW9C)
TL;DR: Curb committed suicide by jumping out in front of my car.
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Crashed a minivan while racing a dude on a windy mountain road (pic inside) | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sevhp/tifu_crashed_a_minivan_while_racing_a_dude_on_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334651932 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sdy37 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sdy37 | null | 25 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sdy37/tifu_i_asked_a_canadian_girl_i_had_just_met_if/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 82 | null | null | In my defense; I was in Vegas, I was extremely drunk, and it was 6am. She was really cute and pretty awesome to add on to the terribleness. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I asked a Canadian girl I had just met if Canadians celebrate Christmas. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sdy37/tifu_i_asked_a_canadian_girl_i_had_just_met_if/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | vulch | null | None | null | null | null | 1334646579 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sdvyh | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sdvyh | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sdvyh/tifu_half_asleep_in_class_and_laughed_when/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Feelsbadman.jpg. I was up all night and so tired in class and laughed for some reason (no longer funny to me). Mentioned that the asian women think they're in NYC (we're not in NYC). Fail. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Half asleep in class and laughed when professor brought up local brothels, and the women who think their in NYC | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sdvyh/tifu_half_asleep_in_class_and_laughed_when/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Illpackallama | null | None | null | null | null | 1334622616 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sdc5q | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sdc5q | null | 20 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sdc5q/tifu_wife_bought_me_a_coconut_that_had_gone_bad/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 32 | null | null | My wife bought a coconut for me today. I was super excited, as I view coconut to be a great delicacy. As I was joyously preparing the coconut for consumption, I noticed that the base of it was surprisingly soft. Curious, I began to feel and push on it, when suddenly, a blast of murky, rancid water burst forth from the small hole which had suddenly opened under my finger,and drenched me with a foul smelling liquid. Stunned, I laughed and chalked it up to something about the weather and pressure systems changing. After shrugging it off, I poured the last of the juice from inside into a waiting cup, and brought it to my lips.
The force of which the coconut water exploded from my mouth can only be likened to a water main blowing a valve, or a whale clearing its blowhole. As my excitement waned from its initial peak, I disgustedly flung my glass into the sink, causing a clatter, and at this point any normal person would have relinquished, but I was determined to press forward on my miserable journey to the bitter end. As an afterthought, bitter would have been a far less torturous ending.
I proceeded to smash open the coconut with a frying pan, and upon peeling off the first chunk of husk, I was greeted with a sight of crisp, alabaster meat, and my excitement returned with a great, yet naive, vigor. I hastened to pry loose the delicate white morsels from the hard brown shell, with only the thought of deliciousness in mind. As I prepared to bite into the first delectable morsel, my common sense should have stopped me, but alas, it was too late.
As I bit into the chunk of coconut meat, a thousand thoughts went through my mind, the first of which should have been pure ecstasy. Instead, the thought that my palate had been sent straight to hell raced through my mind. I coughed, and chunks of vomit, coconut meat, and whatever I had for lunch sprayed across my kitchen wall in a cornucopia swath of color and texture . I collapsed into the sink, wretching. When I finally regained control of my stomach, I poured myself a glass of water, rinsed my mouth out, and proceeded to brokenly throw the rest of the moldering coconut into the trash, and scrub my wall and sink clean. I grabbed a large bottle of rum, and began the slow process of drowning my sorrows and tastebuds in a liquid bliss.
tl;dr: Wife bought a bad coconut. Epic story. I threw up. Got drunk. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU, wife bought me a coconut that had gone bad. Story inside. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sdc5q/tifu_wife_bought_me_a_coconut_that_had_gone_bad/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | armaniac | null | None | null | null | null | 1334621558 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | sdb5b | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sdb5b | null | 15 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sdb5b/tifu_left_my_dads_truck_running_in_the_parking/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 8 | null | null | I don't get to borrow my dad's car often but this was a special occasion. I was going to the closing night of my play and I was allowed to take the truck up to my college campus instead of the bus. My dad has a [2001 GMC Yukon.](http://i453.photobucket.com/albums/qq255/imperio_norteno/ARNIES%20AUTO/DSC03056.jpg) Naturally, I was thrilled. I took the keys, headed out the door, and promised to put gas in the tank on the way back. Half an hour away and in a pretty shitty neighborhood, I got my ten minutes of stage time, waited around for three hours or so, helped tear down the set and repaint the stage, and headed outside to find my car still on.
Suffice it to say most embarrassing walk of my life as I realized I'd left the keys in the car and the car running from 8PM to 12AM in the college parking lot(where it was not even authorized to be parked) and had the good fortune to have gotten only a cool story to tell on the internet rather than the loss of my family's only good car and other depressing things.
edit: tyop, wrong number, my bad. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Left my dad's truck running in the parking lot for four hours. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sdb5b/tifu_left_my_dads_truck_running_in_the_parking/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | SickShitStormTrooper | null | None | null | null | null | 1334787831 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sgrx9 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sgrx9 | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sgrx9/tifu_by_shitting_on_my_bedwith_no_sheets/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 9 | null | null | I woke up incredibly, ridiculously sick and feverish today. Despite that, I wasn't feeling too ill to my stomach. So, getting ready for class, I sit on my bed completely naked and really not wanting to move. All of a sudden, hmmm.. a fart? I fart. OH SHIT THAT WAS NOT A FART. THERE IS DIARRHEA ON MY BED. And.. I had no sheets on the bed, because I had just removed them to wash.
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by shitting on my bed...with no sheets | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sgrx9/tifu_by_shitting_on_my_bedwith_no_sheets/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | throwaway10000233333 | null | None | null | null | null | 1334783005 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sgnof | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sgnof | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sgnof/tifu_lost_my_car_in_the_hospital_parking_garage/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 10 | null | null | I walked all 5 floors up and down, awkwardly saying "god damnit" every two minutes or so. I hadn't eaten in about 36 hours and it was hot as fuck. I started getting stressed and confused. Turns out it was in a different garage. I was looking at the map upside-down. My mother was in a wheelchair in the blistering heat the whole time. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU. Lost my car in the hospital parking garage for half an hour | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sgnof/tifu_lost_my_car_in_the_hospital_parking_garage/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | flitterella | null | None | null | null | null | 1334776223 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sggtc | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sggtc | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sggtc/tifu_by_recalling_what_my_british_friend_said/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 23 | null | null | Waste of a perfectly good pastry. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by recalling what my British friend said about tampons being called "jam sponges" in the UK mid-jelly doughnut. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sggtc/tifu_by_recalling_what_my_british_friend_said/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Restart417 | null | None | null | null | null | 1334766048 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sg76x | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sg76x | null | 25 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sg76x/tifu_because_of_my_continuous_downloading/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 108 | null | null | what do, reddit?
| null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU because of my continuous downloading, administrators disconnected the internet in our university student council office. I'm Vice President. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sg76x/tifu_because_of_my_continuous_downloading/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | mysecondpost | null | None | null | null | null | 1334765545 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sg6qp | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sg6qp | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sg6qp/tifu_by_dranking_milk_at_my_buddys_thanking_him/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 84 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by dranking milk at my buddy's, thanking him for the strawberry milk only to find out it was two week old chocolate milk. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sg6qp/tifu_by_dranking_milk_at_my_buddys_thanking_him/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | Ankins1 | null | None | null | null | null | 1334721646 | null | None | self.tifu | True | null | False | null | sfgwq | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sfgwq | null | 27 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sfgwq/tifu_bought_a_donut_machine_for_no_reason/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 40 | null | null | I guess I had a mindfart, because I don't even like donuts. And they have a no-return policy. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | [TIFU] Bought a donut machine for no reason | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sfgwq/tifu_bought_a_donut_machine_for_no_reason/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334721049 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sfgec | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sfgec | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sfgec/oopsim_a_dick_meme_contest/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 9 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | "Oops....I'm a dick." Meme contest?! | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sfgec/oopsim_a_dick_meme_contest/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334718454 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sfe3a | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sfe3a | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sfe3a/tifu_i_decided_it_would_be_a_good_idea_to_spend/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I decided it would be a good idea to spend my entire science lesson of reddit | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sfe3a/tifu_i_decided_it_would_be_a_good_idea_to_spend/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | ToddATP | null | None | null | null | null | 1334710379 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sf6eg | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sf6eg | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sf6eg/tifu_by_neglecting_s/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 13 | null | null | I put in over 3 hours of work into video editing at my work just to have the computer crash and all of my editing lost forever. At least it only took me 2 hours to reedit the project. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by neglecting ⌘S | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sf6eg/tifu_by_neglecting_s/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334709491 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sf5m4 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sf5m4 | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sf5m4/i_was_cutting_down_a_tree_and_it_hit_my_neighbors/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | I was cutting down a tree and it hit my neighbors house
picture listed | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sf5m4/i_was_cutting_down_a_tree_and_it_hit_my_neighbors/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334877176 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sinbt | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sinbt | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sinbt/tifu_didnt_turn_in_homework_for_two_classes/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Distractions have become a huge part of my life now. Last night, I stayed up until 3 AM playing solitaire and reading Wikipedia. I knew I had class in the morning and I would be tired. I didn't care.
In the morning, I woke up to my alarm. Wanted a little more sleep to be less sleep-deprived from last night, so I set an alarm for 15 minutes later, and went back to sleep. Woke up to my alarm again, *2 hours* and 15 minutes later. Oops.
Missed a class because of that, and therefore didn't turn in homework. Decided to diddle around reading Reddit for a while.
An hour and a half later, I make the wise decision to check office hours for the aforementioned class, so I could turn the assignment in. Just missed them. Dammit.
I then decide not to go to the next class I have that day, because I felt like shit by then, and I don't usually learn anything by going to the lecture. The time comes around for the last of the three classes I have that day, and I realize there was homework due in that class too. Fuck.
I'm gonna go to all my classes from now on and never miss a homework assignment. And I'm not going to bring my phone or laptop to classes, so I won't get distracted, and I'll actually learn for once. God I feel so bad about myself right now. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU. Didn't turn in homework for two classes, probably gonna fail them. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sinbt/tifu_didnt_turn_in_homework_for_two_classes/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334875054 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | silgm | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_silgm | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/silgm/tifu_sleepeating_while_on_ambien_i_poured_milk/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 30 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Sleep-eating while on Ambien, I poured milk into a bowl of empty edamame shells instead of my Fruity Pebbles and spilled all over the table. Then fell back asleep while trying to clean it up. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/silgm/tifu_sleepeating_while_on_ambien_i_poured_milk/ | null | null | null | null |
|
null | null | Nortoreo | null | None | null | null | null | 1334875024 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | silfe | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_silfe | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/silfe/tifu_while_working_with_radiation/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 32 | null | null | I am a CEDO or certified exposure device operator, which means that I go to welding shops with a exposure device or a camera and inspect the welding. We have very strict rules when it comes to the amount of radiation we can pick up on our TLD (thermoluminescent dosimeter). Main number being that you can get 70 mR in a 2 week wear period. Today I received close to 700mR in 24 seconds. My SOR peaking at almost one hundred thousand mR/h. I do not know what the consequences will be at this point in time but it may cost me my job. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU while working with radiation... | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/silfe/tifu_while_working_with_radiation/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334874681 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sil3y | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sil3y | null | 8 | null | True | null | /r/tifu/comments/sil3y/tifuwell_actually_yesterday_i_posted_to/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 25 | null | null | I asked Reddit what a good thing for a Transformer to transform into and asked for nothing NSFW cause I know there are people out there who might post something NSFW as a joke. so then I get these comments: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/sgm6v/what_are_some_interesting_things_for_a/
I'm annoyed. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU...well, actually yesterday. I posted to r/AskReddit and asked for nothing NSFW and it was automatically tagged as NSFW. Then got called a scumbag redditor just cause I didn't know how to untag it as NSFW. More inside. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sil3y/tifuwell_actually_yesterday_i_posted_to/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334874469 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sikxa | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sikxa | null | 76 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sikxa/tifu_by_accidentally_shitting_on_my_friend/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 255 | null | null | This morning, I went to friend's apartment to meet up with him for breakfast. His apartment door has a broken lock, so I just went right on in. I found him asleep on the couch and decided it would be hilarious if I woke him up by farting in his face. I pulled down my pants so as to maximize the amount of air flow from my anus to the face of my friend, and crouched over him in preparation for the prank. I hadn't brewed anything ahead of time, so I just squeezed really hard to push something out... Much to my surprise, not only did I fart... I also splashed a little bit of shit on my friend's face.... He got up, washed his face and proceeded to beat the ever-loving shit out of me... | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by accidentally shitting on my friend. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sikxa/tifu_by_accidentally_shitting_on_my_friend/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334850611 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | shy9t | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_shy9t | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/shy9t/tifu_i_pissed_on_myself_whilst_pooping/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 12 | null | null | Yeah, so my stomach was upset and I felt a massive bowel movement coming on. I rushed to my bathroom, pulled down my track pants, and I proceed to unleash a shitnami. As you know, one does not simply poop without peeing. During this shitastrophe, I'm overcome with glee, unaware that my penis is flopped out over the rim of the toilet seat as this vile waste product leaves my system. Caught up in the moment of pure ecstasy, I begin peeing....all over my boxers, track pants, and the floor. About half way through the piss I realize that I fucked up and promptly tucked my penis down to finish the remainder of my piss; this time into the toilet bowl. But the damage was done. I sit here ashamed, humbly sharing this experience with you as my piss soaked clothing twirl about in the washer. Today I fucked up. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: I pissed on myself whilst pooping | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/shy9t/tifu_i_pissed_on_myself_whilst_pooping/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | stupid_tax_throwaway | null | None | null | null | null | 1334847526 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | shvou | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_shvou | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/shvou/the_check_i_wrote_to_the_irs_bounced/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 1 | null | null | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | The check I wrote to the IRS bounced. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/shvou/the_check_i_wrote_to_the_irs_bounced/ | null | null | null | null |
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null | null | GashcatUnpunished | null | None | null | null | null | 1334844511 | null | None | self.tifu | 1337972786 | null | False | null | shtbx | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_shtbx | null | 49 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/shtbx/tifu_i_lost_my_entire_college_art_portfolio/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 189 | null | null | It has everything in it. My pad of expensive paper, all of my assignments, several of which were due today. My entire array of VERY expensive brushes, most of my expensive paint tubes.... I can't even do the assignment that was assigned today. My family has little money so buying those supplies is an ordeal.
I have no idea where I left it, I ransacked my house and it is not there. It must be on campus somewhere but I called the lost and found office and they didn't have it. It has been two days. I don't know what special kind of asshole would find a bag of art and just take it. And yes, it is just a bag. I have costly portfolios but they are too large and unwieldy to bother with carrying around the size pad I was using... So I've been carrying all of this stuff around in a thick, white plastic bag. You know, that nicer breed of plastic bag you get when you buy books.
This makes me terrified that someone thought it was trash and threw it out.
The year is about to end and I do not have time to make up the assignments.
Edit: Fuck Up of the Week, nice ahahaha | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU... I lost my entire college art portfolio | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/shtbx/tifu_i_lost_my_entire_college_art_portfolio/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Bolargh | null | None | null | null | null | 1334834756 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | shnoz | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_shnoz | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/shnoz/tifu_when_i_accidentally_pissed_all_over_myself/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 38 | null | null | I decided to have a pre-audition panic-pee, I was shaking so bad that it got everywhere, and you know you just can't stop it.
Looking on the bright side, I suppose it was a tough act to follow. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU when I accidentally pissed all over myself before the biggest audition of my life. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/shnoz/tifu_when_i_accidentally_pissed_all_over_myself/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | IWantALemur | null | None | null | null | null | 1334827771 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | shlg9 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_shlg9 | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/shlg9/tifu_by_taking_an_hour_and_twenty_minute_detour/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 34 | null | null | So I'm on road A. The person who gave me directions told me to take road A then turn left onto road B, and then right onto road C. While on road A, there is an intersection with road C. So I pull over into a parking lot and call the person who gave me directions to see if there was a mistake in the directions. Should I keep going straight and looking for road B, or just turn right onto road C? I was told to just turn right. So I'm going, and a couple minutes later I get stopped at a railroad crossing, 3 cars in. Now, the time I'm stopped at this railroad crossing is the time I'm supposed to be at the job interview. However, I called the employer and informed him I'd be a few minutes late, he said it wasn't a problem at all and not to worry about it, just to let him know when I arrived. I was a few minutes away from my destination - or so I thought. This train... man, I couldn't stop thinking about how it was the SLOWEST train I've ever seen. It was moving so slow because it was coming to a stop... 100 yards down, I could see the end of this long train, but for some reason it decided to stop so it'd be blocking the intersection... for 40 minutes. So the train finally moves, and I drive on down road C, looking for road D I'm supposed to turn onto. I was told it was a stoplight, and I saw the names of all of the roads at intersections with stoplights, so I knew I didn't pass road D, and kept going. Well, road C ended 15 minutes later without ever crossing road D. I call up the person who gave me directions, and it turned out I was told to go the wrong way. I should have turned left onto road C. It curves in that direction and runs parallel to road A. I was 5 minutes from my job interview, and would have been only slightly late. I got there an hour and a half late. Oops...
On the bright side, they thought my story was hilarious. Barring a failed drug test, I have the job.
TL;DR - got stopped by a train for 40 minutes, then went another 15 minutes down the road... in the wrong direction. Never should have crossed the train tracks in the first place. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by taking an hour and twenty minute detour to a job interview | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/shlg9/tifu_by_taking_an_hour_and_twenty_minute_detour/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | kpowren | null | None | null | null | null | 1334822643 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | shjn1 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_shjn1 | null | 10 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/shjn1/tifu_took_my_moms_car_without_her_knowing_and/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 20 | null | null | Rolled once in the air, once on the ground, no one can figure out how I'm alive. Pics to come, my mom wouldn't send them because she didn't want me to 'brag' about it. Also, it's my 18th birthday. Yay me! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: Took my mom's car without her knowing and fell asleep behind the wheel. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/shjn1/tifu_took_my_moms_car_without_her_knowing_and/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | NomahTheGreat | null | None | null | null | null | 1334804682 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sh7r5 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sh7r5 | null | 11 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sh7r5/tifu_when_i_accidentally_attempted_to_steal_a/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 61 | null | null | Today I Fucked Up when I was leaving work and walking into the parking lot. In a rush in the morning I tend to forget little details (ex. where I parked), so I see a Jeep I assume is mine and get in. With the ignition not starting to no avail, I angrily punch the wheel. It was then I noticed I'm being watched by the owner of the car who is just about to call the Police. With some rather uncomfortable explanation she put her phone away...whoops. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU when I accidentally attempted to steal a stranger's car. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sh7r5/tifu_when_i_accidentally_attempted_to_steal_a/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334804203 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sh7bs | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sh7bs | null | 6 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sh7bs/tifu_by_taking_my_second_test_i_didnt_know_about/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | I'm a fucking moron. I'm supposed to be an engineering major. I know I'm awful at math and yet I decided to take 2 classes this semester to catch up (because I keep having to re-take them as I go), Calc 3 and Discrete math. I did decent on the first test for Discrete without much effort so I didn't go to class for a while. One day I decided to go and that day we had our second test. I didn't know half of the shit on it so I got like a 40.
In Calc 3 I did decent on the first test and better on the second. Basically the same story, I didn't go to all the classes and somehow without my prior knowledge today we had our third test. I literally didn't answer a single question. I've never felt so fucking stupid.
I'm fucking pissed at myself. I've gotta figure out a way to withdraw from both of these classes now with only 2 1/2 weeks to go in the semester.
I wouldn't mind redoing discrete but both!? Ball-sacks if i'd just gone to class on monday I know I could have pulled off Calc 3! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by taking my second test I didn't know about because I didn't go to class | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sh7bs/tifu_by_taking_my_second_test_i_didnt_know_about/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334803313 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sh6io | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sh6io | null | 5 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sh6io/tifu_accidentely_ruined_new_redditors/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Sent him a list of what not to click, he thought I was joking and clicked it. The ordinary 'stay away' reddits, like r/spacedicks and whatnot.
WHAT DO I DO. WHAT IF HE SAYS I SENT HIM THAT STUFF. I had meant for him to know to stay AWAY form those places! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU. Accidentely ruined new redditors childhood/internet innocence. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sh6io/tifu_accidentely_ruined_new_redditors/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Dougal_McCafferty | null | None | null | null | null | 1334800196 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sh3ib | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sh3ib | null | 9 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sh3ib/tifu_by_spending_200_on_hockey_tickets_to_a_game/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 15 | null | null | Bought tickets to the Capitals vs Bruins game, got super pumped up for it, remembered that I have to take a train home tomorrow. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by spending $200+ on hockey tickets to a game I just realized I can't go to | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sh3ib/tifu_by_spending_200_on_hockey_tickets_to_a_game/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334950868 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sk6ym | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sk6ym | null | 2 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sk6ym/tifu_after_reading_a_thread_about_sleeping_in/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 0 | null | null | Seriously, I'm a fucking idiot. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU: After reading a thread about sleeping in contact lenses, I slept in my contact lenses. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sk6ym/tifu_after_reading_a_thread_about_sleeping_in/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | im_tw1g | null | None | null | null | null | 1334905170 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sjavl | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sjavl | null | 8 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sjavl/tifu_by_climbing_a_wall_that_was_part_of_a_shrine/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 26 | null | null | So, on family holidays in Japan. Visited a shrine (only people there at the time) and after leaving, I decide to climb up a rock retaining wall under the side of the shrine. I didn't realize at the time that this would be kind of offensive.
Then a priest drove up. He had his hands on his cheeks, and a look of pure horror on his face. I felt pretty guilty.
Luckily, my dad told me later that he was being melodramatic on purpose and smiled at my dad in a 'boys will be boys' way while I wasn't looking. At least he was alright about it :) | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by climbing a wall that was part of a shrine. The priest was watching. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sjavl/tifu_by_climbing_a_wall_that_was_part_of_a_shrine/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1334898890 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sj6uj | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sj6uj | null | 0 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sj6uj/tifu_emailed_an_ex_about_a_porn_video_that_looked/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 2 | null | null | Completely fucked up thinking this video was of a very messy ex, proceeded to email her without thinking about it, realised it was not her so then decided to cover up by emailing her links to Viagra websites with the same subject heading as the first email in the hope she looks at the first one and deletes the rest! | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU Emailed an ex about a porn video that looked like her, then proceeded to pretend my email account was spamming to cover up. | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sj6uj/tifu_emailed_an_ex_about_a_porn_video_that_looked/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | JollyRoger61 | null | None | null | null | null | 1334893176 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sj20z | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sj20z | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sj20z/tifu_missed_job_application/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 9 | null | null | This isn't a huge deal but I feel pretty foolish. I've been planning on applying to a job online that didn't have a deadline. Of course this means it could close at any time. I've been so busy with school so it took me a while to write up a cover letter and get ready to apply. I was ready to apply today and of course it closed.
I'm new to this sub-reddit so I'm not sure if this is TIFU worthy, but I was bummed about this... | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU Missed job application | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sj20z/tifu_missed_job_application/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | Ineeni | null | None | null | null | null | 1334889625 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | siyr2 | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_siyr2 | null | 3 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/siyr2/tifu_working_computer_lab_today_i_had_a_person/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 15 | null | null | I didn't think peoples faces could contort like that it almost looked like the rage face: http://fuuu.us/265 | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU Working computer lab today I had a person move a computer and stopped them...while closing I thought everyone was gone turns out she wasn't and I yelled "what a big fat fucking retard moves a computer in a computer lab with cubicles." | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/siyr2/tifu_working_computer_lab_today_i_had_a_person/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | p53angel | null | None | null | null | null | 1334888303 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | sixjo | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_sixjo | null | 1 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/sixjo/tifu_by_arranging_a_meeting_with_a_prof_and/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 10 | null | null | So, I'm in a journalism class as well as a microbiology class. For the journalism class, I was going to write a profile on my micro prof, and he was willing to meet me today for an interview. However, I realized about 45 minutes ago that I didn't know where his office was. No problem, I'll look it up on the uni website. Except when I get there, the guy tells me his office moved two years ago. Shit. I checked my syllabus, no luck. Sitting here (20 minutes after we were supposed to meet) after sending an email to him, waiting for a reply, and feeling like an idiot. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU by arranging a meeting with a prof and neglecting to figure out where his office is | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/sixjo/tifu_by_arranging_a_meeting_with_a_prof_and/ | null | null | null | null |
null | null | [deleted] | null | None | null | null | null | 1335031796 | null | None | self.tifu | False | null | False | null | slikn | null | null | null | null | null | null | True | null | null | None | {} | null | t3_slikn | null | 46 | null | False | null | /r/tifu/comments/slikn/tifu_i_laughed_at_a_joke_my_friend_told_me/ | null | null | null | null | null | null | null | 177 | null | null | My dad's cousin's funeral was today, she was very close to me and I loved her. But for some reason my brain decided to re-tell a joke my friend told me yesterday when they were lowering the casket. Fuck. I hate myself now, as does at least half of my relatives.
Jesus I'm an asshole. | null | null | null | t5_2to41 | null | null | null | null | TIFU. I laughed at a joke my friend told me yesterday, during a funeral | null | null | null | null | http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/slikn/tifu_i_laughed_at_a_joke_my_friend_told_me/ | null | null | null | null |