Ayush-Singh/gpt-jokes · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 26 223
Tell me a joke My mate Dave drowned... For his funeral, we got a wreath in the shape of a life saver. It's what he would've wanted.
Tell me a joke The first person to milk a cow probably saw a baby cow nursing and was like oh yeah people do that too and I have no food I don't wanna die
Tell me a joke My Muslim girlfriend wants to blow me Should I be excited or call the cops?
Tell me a joke What's it called when the queen farts? Helium Neon Argon Krypton Xenon Radon
Tell me a joke The creator of the Hokey Kokey died last week... The funeral was a nightmare... when putting him in the coffin, they put his left leg in... And that's when the trouble started.
Tell me a joke They Say 1 out of 3 People Cheat in a Relationship Not sure if it's my wife, or my girlfriend.
Tell me a joke Fuck, marry, kill? Your sibling. Your mom. Your dad. Fuck all of them
Tell me a joke Sex is like cooking. Your girlfriend will be angry at you because you ate your neighbour's even though she hasn't cooked for you in weeks.
Tell me a joke Only true feminists will get this Offended
Tell me a joke Did you here about the women who died after masturbating with a carrot? That was a dildon't
Tell me a joke My new hobby: Seeing animals in old films like westerns, and saying ""I can tell you something about that animal."" ""It's dead now.""
Tell me a joke Pikachu hates Rebeca black
Tell me a joke Nobody's perfect! Q: What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language? A: ""Nobody's perfect!""
Tell me a joke I've completely cocooned myself in this blanket, and I'm not coming out until I'm a fully functional adult or a butterfly.
Tell me a joke Nothing says ""high-functioning alcoholic"" like being really good at darts.
Tell me a joke What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About halfway.
Tell me a joke What happens when you put 6 city workers and 6 lesbians in a room together? You get a dozen people who don't do dick
Tell me a joke Gone are the days that girls cooked like their mothers, because these days they drink like their fathers.
Tell me a joke Just seen Michael J Fox at the local Garden centre Well pretty sure it was him, he had his back to the fuchsias.
Tell me a joke [chef interview] BOSS: Are you familiar with kitchen jargon ME: Yeah, that means you're missing a jar
Tell me a joke in 2016 if i walk in to your place and ask for the wifi password and you give me a paper with 26 letters and numbers i'm leaving
Tell me a joke I'm giving up spellcheck for Lant
Tell me a joke Texting you back right away doesn't make me a psycho. What makes me a pyscho is watching you through your window while petting your cat.
Tell me a joke Chuck Norris likes knitting sweaters...... if by knitting you mean kicking and by sweaters you mean babies......
Tell me a joke The shortest way to piss off a hipster... Apple phone & iwatch
Tell me a joke Time machine jokes aren't funny, you guys. My great grandson dies in a time machine crash.
Tell me a joke I was on the beach with my daughter. After a while, she turned to me and said, ""Dad, you look like a lobster."" ""Oh no,"" I replied, ""Am I burning?"" She said, ""No. Just very ugly.""
Tell me a joke Sometimes I think about how infinite the universe is... and realize that somewhere out there, there's a galaxy shaped like a dick.
Tell me a joke Caterpillar marriage therapy Wife: he's not the man I married Husband flying around room: I'm the same on the inside Karen!!!
Tell me a joke How do you get a Nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy...
Tell me a joke Oh man, this whole time we've been trying to stop SEAWATER from gushing into our OIL. Stupid Terry was holding the diagram upside down.
Tell me a joke opens up a Forever 20 store next to Forever 21
Tell me a joke STDs are like Pokemon. Gotta catch'm all!
Tell me a joke What did the turkey say to the goat? The turkey said gobble, gobble, gobble. The goat said back abdul akbar before blowing up.
Tell me a joke Chemistry Humor... ""What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.0221412910^23 pieces?"" Guacomole.
Tell me a joke My friend was in a terrible accident, and now has to breathe through a straw ...you could say he sucks at life.
Tell me a joke Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world There is an idiot pulling a door that says ""Push""
Tell me a joke So I bought some shoes from a guy on the street... Anyways he turned out to be a drug dealer, and I'm not sure what they were laced with but I just keep trippin'.
Tell me a joke My daughter, filling out a college app, called me at home to get my home number. Big shout out to the ex-wife for pissing in my gene pool.
Tell me a joke Two muffins... Two muffins in a pan are baking in the oven. One looks over at the other and says ""Wow it's getting really hot in here!"" The other replies ""Holy shit is that a talking muffin?""
Tell me a joke What's white and 12 inches long? Absolutely nothing.
Tell me a joke McDonalds wants you to tell your family you love them because if you keep eating McDonalds it won't be long before you're dead.
Tell me a joke Parents are worried about two things these days 1. What their sons download 2. What their daughters upload
Tell me a joke Hello (Sorry for my English)
Tell me a joke No matter how bored I get, I'll never be bored enough to go back and read through all the greeting cards I've saved over the years.
Tell me a joke Are you getting older and wiser? No he's getting older and wider!
Tell me a joke Did you hear about the duck that got thrown away? He was down in the dumps.
Tell me a joke I've got a ""bun"" (baby) in the ""oven"" (oven)
Tell me a joke sets up booth, hangs up sign ""$5 Mustache Rides!"" nobody shows up. I knew I shouldn't have named the damn pony 'mustache'
Tell me a joke LunchablesTM? huge waste of money! I have my kids mill their own wheat then hunt, kill & field strip a wild bologna
Tell me a joke I got my priest to stop hitting on me. I introduced him to my little brother.
Tell me a joke Why Don't feminists make good botanists? They spend the entire time in the greenhouses bitching about the glass ceiling.
Tell me a joke What if the stickers are the only thing Made In China?
Tell me a joke What do you call a doctor who is always on a phone? An oncologist
Tell me a joke Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? No? He didn't either.
Tell me a joke [bleeding out] ER Doctor: do you know your blood type? ME: I've never really thought about it TBH. As long as it has a good personality
Tell me a joke ""Wow, this toilet is really uncomfortable..."" ~Me drunk in the hot tub as my guests throw themselves out
Tell me a joke Calculating the trajectory of an airborne booger is snot rocket science
Tell me a joke When Shall We Meet Again ? by Miles Apart
Tell me a joke I lost my mittens and my girlfriend today. One might say that I'm in between gloves.
Tell me a joke What do you call a sad hat? A sombre-ero!
Tell me a joke What are the Rolling Stones better at than the Bee gees? Stayin' Alive
Tell me a joke How to play the Michael Brown drinking game Just stand there and take the 8 shots.
Tell me a joke [shipwreck diary] Day 44: Some of the survivors have resorted to drinking their own piss. Nobody wants to drink mine cos it's 'too chunky'.
Tell me a joke Islamophobia caused by baby sheep? Yes it is... Credit to Newsjack BBC for this one.
Tell me a joke Why do Women get So Big when they're Pregnant? To give their kids a wide birth.
Tell me a joke I always get burnt during summer time. I would go under trees but they're a little shady.
Tell me a joke Wife: Your life insurance premium paid up? Me: Yeah. Wife: Good. Me: Why? Wife: No reason. Me: ... Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: Here, taste this.
Tell me a joke Knock, Knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? EEEEWWWWWW.
Tell me a joke My vacuum sucks So I decided to sell mine, it was just collecting dust.
Tell me a joke What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
Tell me a joke Did you know 50% of Asians in America have cataracts? The other half drive Lincolns
Tell me a joke It must be 1929... Because my econ homework has me in a severe depression.
Tell me a joke Yo Mama So Fat Yo mama so fat that her Schwarzschild radius equals 1 cm.
Tell me a joke How Britons shower. The same as you, dummy. First, we get nice and wet. Then we get the tea.
Tell me a joke What do you call Batman when he skips church? Christian Bale
Tell me a joke Father's Day Fun: 1) Walk up to a complete stranger at lunch with his family. 2) Hug him. 3) Tell him 'Happy Father's Day dad'! 4) Run.
Tell me a joke ME: For my final wish, I'd like to lose some weight. GENIE: Only way is to eat less and exercise more. ME: This is bullshit.
Tell me a joke Less well known than Ernest Hemingway's ""A Farewell to Arms""... is his sequel, ""Oh Hello Arms I Didn't Think I'd See You Again""
Tell me a joke Make sure you tip your waitress... It's very funny when they fall over.
Tell me a joke A ship full of red paint crashes into a island... The sailors were marooned.
Tell me a joke Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they!
Tell me a joke What do you call a Mexican after he gets electrocuted? Re-fried beans!
Tell me a joke Men simply like to adjust their junk, it's not pocket science.
Tell me a joke Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the food before it was cool...
Tell me a joke My best friend and I were comparing our penises... for who has the biggest. It ended in a tie.
Tell me a joke ""An unknown plight"" or ""the shortest and worse joke i know"" Pedophiles have trouble fitting in.
Tell me a joke Why is the next Windows version 10? Because 7 8 9
Tell me a joke What did the angered Mother say to her son, the garbage man. Your throwing your life away.
Tell me a joke The view of your Bedroom is perfect from this tree!
Tell me a joke ""Jesus loves you."" A nice gesture in church. A horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
Tell me a joke You're about as useful as closed captioning in a porno.
Tell me a joke A Jewish kid asks his father for sixty dollars. The father replies ""FIFTY DOLLARS??? What the heck to do you need forty dollars for??""
Tell me a joke {after you tell me about your horrible, yet life altering near-death experience} ""Have you seen my charger?""
Tell me a joke Everyone buries their problems in different ways. I bury them alive because killing people is wrong.
Tell me a joke What do you call a promiscuous hippy? Whore-ganic
Tell me a joke I just got asked to work on a ""special project"" which is boss for ""This was assigned to me but you're smarter so here you do it.""
Tell me a joke To a woman, sexual harassment is when a man makes advances towards her. If a woman makes advances towards a man, we call that getting lucky.
Tell me a joke They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away... Steve Jobs proved this one wrong.
Tell me a joke Exam question: According to Germany how much is Greece worth? [1 Mark]

Tell me a joke My mate Dave drowned... For his funeral, we got a wreath in the shape of a life saver. It's what he would've wanted.

Tell me a joke The first person to milk a cow probably saw a baby cow nursing and was like oh yeah people do that too and I have no food I don't wanna die

Tell me a joke My Muslim girlfriend wants to blow me Should I be excited or call the cops?

Tell me a joke What's it called when the queen farts? Helium Neon Argon Krypton Xenon Radon

Tell me a joke The creator of the Hokey Kokey died last week... The funeral was a nightmare... when putting him in the coffin, they put his left leg in... And that's when the trouble started.

Tell me a joke They Say 1 out of 3 People Cheat in a Relationship Not sure if it's my wife, or my girlfriend.

Tell me a joke Fuck, marry, kill? Your sibling. Your mom. Your dad. Fuck all of them

Tell me a joke Sex is like cooking. Your girlfriend will be angry at you because you ate your neighbour's even though she hasn't cooked for you in weeks.

Tell me a joke Only true feminists will get this Offended

Tell me a joke Did you here about the women who died after masturbating with a carrot? That was a dildon't

Tell me a joke My new hobby: Seeing animals in old films like westerns, and saying ""I can tell you something about that animal."" ""It's dead now.""

Tell me a joke Pikachu hates Rebeca black

Tell me a joke Nobody's perfect! Q: What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language? A: ""Nobody's perfect!""

Tell me a joke I've completely cocooned myself in this blanket, and I'm not coming out until I'm a fully functional adult or a butterfly.

Tell me a joke Nothing says ""high-functioning alcoholic"" like being really good at darts.

Tell me a joke What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About halfway.

Tell me a joke What happens when you put 6 city workers and 6 lesbians in a room together? You get a dozen people who don't do dick

Tell me a joke Gone are the days that girls cooked like their mothers, because these days they drink like their fathers.

Tell me a joke Just seen Michael J Fox at the local Garden centre Well pretty sure it was him, he had his back to the fuchsias.

Tell me a joke [chef interview] BOSS: Are you familiar with kitchen jargon ME: Yeah, that means you're missing a jar

Tell me a joke in 2016 if i walk in to your place and ask for the wifi password and you give me a paper with 26 letters and numbers i'm leaving

Tell me a joke I'm giving up spellcheck for Lant

Tell me a joke Texting you back right away doesn't make me a psycho. What makes me a pyscho is watching you through your window while petting your cat.

Tell me a joke Chuck Norris likes knitting sweaters...... if by knitting you mean kicking and by sweaters you mean babies......

Tell me a joke The shortest way to piss off a hipster... Apple phone & iwatch

Tell me a joke Time machine jokes aren't funny, you guys. My great grandson dies in a time machine crash.

Tell me a joke I was on the beach with my daughter. After a while, she turned to me and said, ""Dad, you look like a lobster."" ""Oh no,"" I replied, ""Am I burning?"" She said, ""No. Just very ugly.""

Tell me a joke Sometimes I think about how infinite the universe is... and realize that somewhere out there, there's a galaxy shaped like a dick.

Tell me a joke *Caterpillar marriage therapy* Wife: he's not the man I married Husband flying around room: I'm the same on the inside Karen!!!

Tell me a joke How do you get a Nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy...

Tell me a joke Oh man, this whole time we've been trying to stop SEAWATER from gushing into our OIL. Stupid Terry was holding the diagram upside down.

Tell me a joke *opens up a Forever 20 store next to Forever 21*

Tell me a joke STDs are like Pokemon. Gotta catch'm all!

Tell me a joke What did the turkey say to the goat? The turkey said gobble, gobble, gobble. The goat said back abdul akbar before blowing up.

Tell me a joke Chemistry Humor... ""What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.0221412910^23 pieces?"" Guacomole.

Tell me a joke My friend was in a terrible accident, and now has to breathe through a straw ...you could say he sucks at life.

Tell me a joke Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world There is an idiot pulling a door that says ""Push""

Tell me a joke So I bought some shoes from a guy on the street... Anyways he turned out to be a drug dealer, and I'm not sure what they were laced with but I just keep trippin'.

Tell me a joke My daughter, filling out a college app, called me at home to get my home number. Big shout out to the ex-wife for pissing in my gene pool.

Tell me a joke Two muffins... Two muffins in a pan are baking in the oven. One looks over at the other and says ""Wow it's getting really hot in here!"" The other replies ""Holy shit is that a talking muffin?""

Tell me a joke What's white and 12 inches long? Absolutely nothing.

Tell me a joke McDonalds wants you to tell your family you love them because if you keep eating McDonalds it won't be long before you're dead.

Tell me a joke Parents are worried about two things these days 1. What their sons download 2. What their daughters upload

Tell me a joke Hello (Sorry for my English)

Tell me a joke No matter how bored I get, I'll never be bored enough to go back and read through all the greeting cards I've saved over the years.

Tell me a joke Are you getting older and wiser? No he's getting older and wider!

Tell me a joke Did you hear about the duck that got thrown away? He was down in the dumps.

Tell me a joke I've got a ""bun"" (baby) in the ""oven"" (oven)

Tell me a joke *sets up booth, hangs up sign ""$5 Mustache Rides!"" *nobody shows up. I knew I shouldn't have named the damn pony 'mustache'

Tell me a joke LunchablesTM? huge waste of money! I have my kids mill their own wheat then hunt, kill & field strip a wild bologna

Tell me a joke I got my priest to stop hitting on me. I introduced him to my little brother.

Tell me a joke Why Don't feminists make good botanists? They spend the entire time in the greenhouses bitching about the glass ceiling.

Tell me a joke What if the stickers are the only thing Made In China?

Tell me a joke What do you call a doctor who is always on a phone? An oncologist

Tell me a joke Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? No? He didn't either.

Tell me a joke [bleeding out] ER Doctor: do you know your blood type? ME: I've never really thought about it TBH. As long as it has a good personality

Tell me a joke ""Wow, this toilet is really uncomfortable..."" ~Me drunk in the hot tub as my guests throw themselves out

Tell me a joke Calculating the trajectory of an airborne booger is snot rocket science

Tell me a joke When Shall We Meet Again ? by Miles Apart

Tell me a joke I lost my mittens and my girlfriend today. One might say that I'm in between gloves.

Tell me a joke What do you call a sad hat? A sombre-ero!

Tell me a joke What are the Rolling Stones better at than the Bee gees? Stayin' Alive

Tell me a joke How to play the Michael Brown drinking game Just stand there and take the 8 shots.

Tell me a joke [shipwreck diary] Day 44: Some of the survivors have resorted to drinking their own piss. Nobody wants to drink mine cos it's 'too chunky'.

Tell me a joke Islamophobia caused by baby sheep? Yes it is... Credit to Newsjack BBC for this one.

Tell me a joke Why do Women get So Big when they're Pregnant? To give their kids a wide birth.

Tell me a joke I always get burnt during summer time. I would go under trees but they're a little shady.

Tell me a joke Wife: Your life insurance premium paid up? Me: Yeah. Wife: Good. Me: Why? Wife: No reason. Me: ... Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: Here, taste this.

Tell me a joke Knock, Knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? EEEEWWWWWW.

Tell me a joke My vacuum sucks So I decided to sell mine, it was just collecting dust.

Tell me a joke What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.

Tell me a joke Did you know 50% of Asians in America have cataracts? The other half drive Lincolns

Tell me a joke It must be 1929... Because my econ homework has me in a severe depression.

Tell me a joke Yo Mama So Fat Yo mama so fat that her Schwarzschild radius equals 1 cm.

Tell me a joke How Britons shower. The same as you, dummy. First, we get nice and wet. Then we get the tea.

Tell me a joke What do you call Batman when he skips church? Christian Bale

Tell me a joke Father's Day Fun: 1) Walk up to a complete stranger at lunch with his family. 2) Hug him. 3) Tell him 'Happy Father's Day dad'! 4) Run.

Tell me a joke ME: For my final wish, I'd like to lose some weight. GENIE: Only way is to eat less and exercise more. ME: This is bullshit.

Tell me a joke Less well known than Ernest Hemingway's ""A Farewell to Arms""... is his sequel, ""Oh Hello Arms I Didn't Think I'd See You Again""

Tell me a joke Make sure you tip your waitress... It's very funny when they fall over.

Tell me a joke A ship full of red paint crashes into a island... The sailors were marooned.

Tell me a joke Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they!

Tell me a joke What do you call a Mexican after he gets electrocuted? Re-fried beans!

Tell me a joke Men simply like to adjust their junk, it's not pocket science.

Tell me a joke Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the food before it was cool...

Tell me a joke My best friend and I were comparing our penises... for who has the biggest. It ended in a tie.

Tell me a joke ""An unknown plight"" or ""the shortest and worse joke i know"" Pedophiles have trouble fitting in.

Tell me a joke Why is the next Windows version 10? Because 7 8 9

Tell me a joke What did the angered Mother say to her son, the garbage man. Your throwing your life away.

Tell me a joke The view of your Bedroom is perfect from this tree!

Tell me a joke ""Jesus loves you."" A nice gesture in church. A horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison.

Tell me a joke You're about as useful as closed captioning in a porno.

Tell me a joke A Jewish kid asks his father for sixty dollars. The father replies ""FIFTY DOLLARS??? What the heck to do you need forty dollars for??""

Tell me a joke {after you tell me about your horrible, yet life altering near-death experience} ""Have you seen my charger?""

Tell me a joke Everyone buries their problems in different ways. I bury them alive because killing people is wrong.

Tell me a joke What do you call a promiscuous hippy? Whore-ganic

Tell me a joke I just got asked to work on a ""special project"" which is boss for ""This was assigned to me but you're smarter so here you do it.""

Tell me a joke To a woman, sexual harassment is when a man makes advances towards her. If a woman makes advances towards a man, we call that getting lucky.

Tell me a joke They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away... Steve Jobs proved this one wrong.

Tell me a joke Exam question: According to Germany how much is Greece worth? [1 Mark]