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AnuradhaPoddar

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I'm a 37yo male who has recently (within the last fortnight) been diagnosed. Leaving aside the fact that I can't believe it wasn't caught or recognised sooner, does anyone else really struggle with the shortest of waits? I work in software development and will often need to open a new application to execute a certain task. The problem is: The application inevitably takes 30 seconds or so to fully load and that's enough time for me to get sidetracked. Usually it's checking my phone, going to make a coffee, or even doing other work. Then, minutes or hours later, I realise I haven't done what I intended to. tl;dr - I open applications and the loading time is longer than my ability to stay on task.

I’m bragging a little bit because I’d never be able to do this completely sober, but after having a drink I was legit able to flirt smoothly for the first time and have it reciprocating really well. The conversation went like this: Me: “So was it difficult getting hired here” Her: “No not really, but I have prior barista experience” Me: “Well I guess that makes sense, you’re also relatively attractive which brings in more money” Her: *Smiles* That’s what I’ve been talking about. Then we got into an interesting conversation where I gained a possible lead where I could get a gig working as a writer. Something I’ve always wanted to do. I’m never this smooth completely sober. I’m wondering if anyone else here is like that?

Maybe it's just me, but if it's not obvious that you want to have a conversation with me, then I will just continue to live inside of my head. I sort of have a strict policy with myself not to interact with someone, unless they start. Of course I will greet people if the start of a social interaction is very clear, but sometimes it isn't. I've had three people sit me down today to tell me that I'm an asshole. And all this time, I thought everything was fine. They laughed when I said that they need to be obvious when they want to talk to me. The life I live is in stark contrast to the lives these people live, and it's hard to not think that something is utterly wrong with me.

I just missed a therapy session I forgot about yesterday even though I KNOW I've been planning, to meet this therapist for weeks now. I wrote it down but that still didn't even convince my brain to hold that piece of information. I've been on the edge, nervous about this appointment for weeks and now I have to wait another month. I could've gotten my sh*t together a DAY AGO and went, but NOPE! Brain go bye bye. I'm about to ball my eyes out...

I need some help moving forward in my life maybe some peer support I am sitting here spinning with my past,, What people will think and so on it’s driving me insane. Looking back I realize that I had HOCD at 16. Mine was severe my OCD I turned to drugs once the depression set in, I actually acted or tried something with someone to try to get rid of my OCD it was horrible I feel horrible about my past I was 19 I am 35 now. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I need to do with myself? Like how to handle this it’s devastating me. I know I am only attracted to women I don’t know how to talk to my wife anymore I feel so lost… I feel isolated and alone.. and worst off just pain gross about me.

I (27, F, UK) was diagnosed in April, tried methylphenidate (Xaggitin) but couldn’t tolerate it at all and had horrific physical and mental side effects, then was given lisdexamphetamine (Elvanse). Worked up to 60mg but came to realise I was a little anxious, on edge, and struggled with my appetite. Now I take 50mg and get the same sort of output as the higher dose. I’ve taken Elvanse for 6 months now but I still struggle with focus, motivation, completing tasks, taking too long to do tasks, paralysis, and time is flying by at a rate I can’t keep up with. I have seen some improvements for sure but not to the extent that I feel good about my day to day functioning. I feel like my medication is becoming less effective but a higher dose isn’t helpful. I track my symptoms but they don’t show anything interesting other than the fact life sucks. I understand part of managing ADHD is learning better strategies and what not but it seems like such an impossible uphill battle even with medication. Has anyone else felt like this, and if so what helped you to get the best out of treatment? I don’t have any other options in terms of stimulant medication - methylphenidate is a definite no, mixed amphetamine salts like Adderall aren’t prescribed here, which only leaves me with amphetamines. My doctor won’t let me have immediate release so dexamphetamine is out, but a higher dose of Elvanse isn’t helpful. I’ve heard that a combination of stims and non-stims can be effective though, has anyone tried this? Can’t afford therapy or coaching unfortunately.

So, I haven’t been doing to well mentally lately and I had an appointment with my therapist earlier this week and during that appointment I mentioned that I didn’t think that my mental issues were a therapy issue and his immediate response was to threaten to pull all therapy resources that my health insurer is providing. This really surprised me, it’s as though he perceived that notion as a direct threat. It came off to me that his mentality was that I was required to pretend that the therapy was helping even if it wasn’t or all those resources would be pulled. So, drink their Kool-Aid or be left to die… Any thoughts? This was weird right?

Looking for general info and advice here... our kids, both under 7, recently lost a similar aged sibling. Both are seeing a qualified therapist weekly but for the hills and valleys of daily trauma-effects... what else can we do to help them? For example- 1 acts-out like the sibling in hopes it will bring them back; sometimes both of them disassociate; other times both are extremely moody; etc. Are there grounding techniques for kids? Other things? Thx in advance 🤗

Thanks for humoring me :) — I am a brand new person  Now that I’ve received  medication Don’t expect me to be a fuck up You’ll be out of luck Cause I’m a god damn brand new human being Let’s go Uh oh uh oh We're burnin down the house again I don’t remember turning on the stove Uh oh uh oh We're crashing your party, whoa Cause I don't wanna be alone It's nice to know That's it's so easy being brand new Just take a pill But this feelings fleeting sometimes it goes I'd be a super human If I could just remember how to do it And by it I mean anything All the way And honey won't give me the time of day She’s says everything I got to say Is so cliche   Tired excuses Uh oh uh oh Burnin down the house again And I can never find the door Uh oh uh oh I’ll show up to your party, hey But I don’t really wanna go Oh So what now That I’ve got it all figured out So What now  I made the pharmacist laugh and get distracted when I asked her that ​ ​ I have a soundcloud demo of it, not sure if I'm allowed to share the link per the rules about self promotion

I’ve struggled with depression for more than half my life, recently my depression has gotten significantly worse - to the point of feeling suicidal. I’ve masked so much in my life that people who are close to me don’t believe I’m as depressed as I am. I don’t know what to do to make them realize where I am mentally & others discounting my condition only make it worse…

Like this, I never knew I had this or that it existed but here it is. It happened to me last year that I didn't pay much attention because it passed very quickly, during the visit to the church (I go every week) as if I felt I was insulting the saints, or the people in the church, or the people leading the service / liturgy. These were not my conscious thoughts, but these were thoughts that came to my mind by chance, only that I set out too much to fight them so that I was so upset. The same thing happened to me a week ago during the service, during the mention of the name of the Most Holy Mother of God, those insulting thoughts happened, more precisely, I did not allow my brain to speak because I fought against it with all my strength and I was very upset. 80% of the liturgy I was happy but those 20% crippled me. I came home in tears literally because those thoughts happen to me, which are inappropriate for such a place where I am. A couple of times it has happened to me to struggle with myself not to think about some black, sexual thoughts, thoughts about illness. I was so scared and panicked that I am convinced that if I continue to think like this, or have sex with my girlfriend, or if my attitude or my opinion differs from the opinion of the church or some clergyman, that God will punish me with some disease, I don't know why I've been so burdened with diseases lately (I'm generally hypochondriac, and I had a severe hypochondria attack a month ago, Thank God, everything is fine with health). I was also afraid that if I went to the doctor for therapy, it would be bad. The problem is that I never knew how to let go of those thoughts just, not to fight them. Then I read about these intrusive thoughts and realized that it is not a rare thing and that it happens often to people. that it's actually an ocd disorder, since I've often had "rituals" when I come to church, that I need to kiss all the icons, or that I have to come every week. Sometimes I even have a reflex when I cross myself. I used to burp, now I have a stiffness in my neck and a feeling in my "groin" so that I don't express myself ugly (nothing sexual attracts me, nothing perverted) I just feel such pressure. I wonder if anyone has encountered this? I went to therapy and I will mention it to my doctor, Thank you for your time*📷*

I have been feeling really frightened during my sleep for a couple of times. It's like I am about to die or in the middle of a very dangerous situation. I feel paralyzed totally unable to move or wake up. My chest feels tight and heart beat gets very fast. It also feels like I am holding my breath. Usually I don't wake up until a couple of hours later and then I am extremely exhausted for the rest of the day. I never have this happen so bad when I'm awake.

Does anyone else talk to their pets and that brings you enjoyment? I especially like when you say “treat” or “outside” and the ears perk up on my dog. It’s interesting because I am teaching my dog to be bilingual since my wife is Spanish speaking (the dog was hers and then became ours) but it’s a little awkward saying phrases in public that people around us don’t understand 🤣🤣🤣🤣 like “venga” which means come here

i'll be solving some puzzles in my head that i'm barely even conscious of when i wake up or get a little more aware of what i am doing, like it is a background process or something. it tires me, these racing thoughts make my brain feel worn out and i feel physically stressed and fatigued almost because of it. anything you think is similar or might be the cause, or could help stop this or ease it would help me immensely.

Hello! My psychiatrist recently raised my wellbutrin xl. For context I am on Yaz (birth control) and adderall xr. It's only been about six weeks but my period has been crazy since she raised the wellbutrin. I had weeks of breakthrough bleeding then when I did get my period it's been really heavy. Has this happened to anyone else? Will it go away or is it decreasing the effectiveness of the Yaz? Thanks for any advice.

so these days I have these extreme harm ocd thoughts, and I'm actually scared of myself, have you ever had this feeling? This is too much tbh, I don't wanna deal with this anymore. And the feeling of being detached from my body like I'm in a dream. This all makes me feel nauseous.

No one could tell my son has autism but I graduated in the field child development so I picked up on the very minor red flags. 1. He can’t play with himself; he needs help with imaginative play and ideas during play. I can build so many things with blocks but he cannot come up with ideas and will give up. He’s always bored even though one living room was made into a play area. He wants quick results and is impatient. 2. He thinks black and white—logic is important. Likes concrete concepts. His teacher said he is the most black and white kid she has ever met. 3. Sensory: we went to a wedding and he said the loud music was bothering him. Twinkle twinkle little star used to make him cry when he was a child and up till this day it’s a no, no. But loud music bothers me too and drains me mentally. 4. He is obsessive with friends—prefers one friends rather than group of friends because it’s difficult socializing/keeping up with many children. He is competitive and also very sensitive to comments 5. He sniffs me for comfort: my nose because he says it’s soft. But I love smelling my husbands shirt for comfort or smelling him when I hug him. 6. Very observant and remembers and noticed things we can never. Whenever my husband gets his tires changed in the winter, my son noticed right away! At first glance like who even looks at tired lol! Does this all sound like autism? How can I support him? I am trying to work on black and white thinking. I am telling him to only sniff my cheeks. He does not do that in public though. He knows what is acceptable and unacceptable in public gathering. Anything? I am a mother and wish the best for my child.

what are a good lense for light sensitivity, especially indoors? i have transitional, but it's not always helpful indoors. anybody tried tinted with a "fashion" color for indoor use? Thought about maybe try rose tinted because of the saying "seeing the world through rose tinted glasses" and was thinking hey maybe that actually helps

Hi everyone, I was diagnosed with OCD a year ago and I have a lot of questions because no one has sat me down and really explained this. Ive nailed down one compulsion: I take baths at least 4 times a day or more when Im stressed out, but I dont really know what compulsions look like so Im not sure if theres more. I also struggle heavily with intrusive thoughts about hurting my ex and her family. They just pop in to my head and it takes me for a horrible ride and I cant stop it. I dont wanna hurt anyone but I keep getting these thoughts and nothing helps. I attributed that to OCD but I could be wrong. Can someone please tell me if Im wrong and how to figure out whats going on with me? Im desperate at this point, its been a year of constant torture.

For context, we were together roughly a year and a half. Things weren’t always awesome but when it was good, it was insanely good. I suppose I’m writing this into the abyss to try and figure out how to cope with the things she’s done. None of it seems accidental. I’m in therapy, I’m medicated for depression and anxiety, and I’m doing okay. But holy shit if I don’t have really incredibly low moments each day. Since the breakup she has: Spent the following couple weeks sleeping with me, telling me she loves me, telling me she only ever wants to be physical with me, wants to make dinners together, cuddle, watch movies, etc. She also said things when leaving the apartment we shared like, “I want you to tell me you’ll miss me tonight so that I can tell you I’ll miss you too.” She called me at 4am because she wanted to hear my voice. But she ended it. And she’ll also say things like,” I don’t want you to use this against me.” She told me I was being overbearing by reciprocating this to her. That we needed more distance. It felt too “normal” like we were in a relationship again. That our sexual chemistry was so much more exciting right after the breakup and over the course of two weeks it just got regular again. I was upset. I got drunk. I told her that she wasn’t being kind. That I felt like her behavior was narcissistic and wrong. That I didn’t trust her and that I didn’t deserve to be treated like this. She said I was scaring her- which disarmed me. I don’t want to scare anyone. I would never hurt anyone. In our relationship, she hit me. Left scars on my arms. She called the police on me because I took her keys when she was trying to drive while incredibly drunk. The police asked if I wanted to press charges and I said no. She ended up sleeping at another guys house that night- a friend from junior high. I’m supposed to believe nothing happened. And I do, kinda. But it’s hard. She went through my phone then tried to end it with me because she didn’t want to be in a relationship where she felt like she had to do that. She didn’t find anything bad- I was wholly committed to her. She told me I could only talk to one friend about relationship issues. She told me I couldn’t vent on social. She’s said really horrible things to me. After the breakup, after she left because I scared her, I was packing my things to move out and had thrown away a few decorative pumpkins from Halloween. I got home later that night and they were out of the trash- instead a bunch of pictures and love letters were in there. There was room for all- she must have pulled them out just so I would see. How cruel. Since then, she’s charged my credit card, has found a way to subvert her blocked number on my phone, spies on my instagram stories from different accounts, posted photos of an anniversary vacation we took and edited me out of them… but she ended it. I have my keys to the apartment still as my only security that she will restructure the lease so I’m not financially ruined by this if she defaults. She’s been emailing me constantly about them, saying really hurtful shit. I largely have not engaged. I will return the keys to management. She posted a tik tok that was incredibly disgusting, almost making it look like I died. Very intimate videos of us together, in love, and the narration was like “I never knew it would be the last kiss… last adventure… I’m rebuilding in the shell of a home that used to be ours and I’m learning to love myself without you.” How absolutely fucking cruel. Unbeknownst to me, a friend of mine saw it and posted it on Reddit. She got dragged for it and users went on there to leave horrible comments. I asked him to take it down. I don’t want her to hurt. She wanted me gone and I’ve been gone. I know all of this should give me reason to be done. I’m so incredibly hurt. Why do I want her to change her mind? Why do I still want her? Why doesn’t she want me?

Long story short my landlord decided he could turn me straight and when I turned him down he went ape shit and started threatening my roommate. We where babysitting 2 young girls (nieces) and I was hiding them in the spare room and all I had was a fucking knife to defend myself, I was scared shitless and didn’t know what to do. And do you know what I had to think about, the fact that these 2 girls have the chance to see me be raped, I knew that if this horrible excuse of a man got into the house I was his target and so I had decided on this. If he got in I would shove the girls in the closet and get them to cover there ears and scream, scream as loud as possible so they wouldn’t hear me and I would willingly give myself to him to protect the girls, ANYTHING to protect those girls. I’ve NEVER even thought that I would ever think something like this would happen but here we are. I’m now sitting here a few weeks after the incident thinking about how This man almost ruined 4 lives in one night. I’m so glad my roommate was able to defuse the situation and we have now moved on as best we can

Recently, my therapist recommended that I visit a psychiatrist to get a psychiatric assessment to see if a change in medication could pair well with our sessions. I've been in therapy (consistently) for about three months now (I've done it off and on before over the years as well), and after trying a few different medications, I have been on 50g of Elavil for about four years now, but I've never worked with a psychiatrist before. For anyone who has implemented a psychiatrist into your treatment, what should I expect in comparison to traditional therapy? Did you find the difference in approach beneficial? For my situation (explained below), do you think psychiatry may be a better fit for combating this disease, or should the two approaches (therapy) be pair in most situations? A little background: I (28m) have been living with OCD for years, varying in impact at various times in my life. I've dealt with multiple variations of the disease, from a stint of hOCD heavily four years ago for a few months, to simple overthinking, to more recently pOCD and a fear of getting arrested. Recent examples of intrusive thoughts I received include relationships with women I had up to ten years ago in late high school and early college who were within a three year range of me and being look at as a sexual predator now. Another is a mixture of pOCD and Real Even OCD, where I have intrusive thoughts and possible false memories of when I was 14 sexting a girl the same age as me was in junior high. I remember putting the picture she sent me on my PSP memory card so I wouldn't get in trouble having it on my cell phone and my mind is telling me randomly now that I never deleted (found it 7 or 8 years ago and I think I did delete then but can't remember). I have no idea where the memory stick is so now my mind is running circles telling me I'm going to be charged with CP possession one day, ruining my life and losing all the good things in it (my fiancee, my dog, family, etc). It feeds on things that I haven't thought of in YEARS, which is the most surprising and frustrating thing. Appreciate the feedback, friends!

Can someone please tell me that there is a way to stop getting cold because of meds. Ritalin is making me so so so cold that I’m sitting at home with thermal wear, and my winter coat, and the heater is on too. It’s hard to use the keyboard and the mouse with gloves on so my hands literally freeze while I’m working, and I can barely move them.

it’s getting harder everyday and the urges are getting stronger.

Hey there, so I’m 26m, and have had insomnia since I was 12, sleeping issues most of my life. I was out of town last week visiting with friends. I wasn’t worried about waking up late, so I had caffeine pretty late into the night/evening all week, and despite being on a very uncomfortable bed, I slept amazingly. Fell asleep quick, slept through the night. I realized the correlation and wanted to try at home. Last night was my first night back, same success. It’s now nearly bedtime and I’m actually sleepy, and expecting similar results. Has anyone experienced this? I can’t find anything directly related to this online. Thanks y’all!

Recently a lot of annoying things have been happening in my life and I've found myself incredibly irritated most of the time and it hasn't been taking a lot to make me lose it, which is uncharacteristic of me. To be honest, I'm not even sure why I'm stressed anymore either. Can you relate? Is there a way to cope with it and relax? I'm probably wording it all wrong, but with these things I'm incredibly thick.

Hey all, Ive been suffering with OCD intrusive thoughts since I was 10 years old, and after a long process of non medicated treatments I thought i was finally going to be just fine. Until recently when I was offered multiple scholarships to attend schools in the US when everything and everyone i know is here in the UK. My thoughts were always worrying about those back home whenever i was away from them for any period of time and Im petrified at the fact that ill be on the other side of the world unable to see them everyday. Anybody know anything that could help or feel a similar way? Thanks

For starters I was forced to go to a party that I didn’t want to go to because my history with the hosts has been nothing short of controversial then while at the party this guy was grabbing me because we were playing Marco Polo. I didn’t like that very much and I did the same to him but the difference was he went underwater and I wanted to get him so bad and then my parents called me multiple times to get him off (in short I was drowning him) I then became overwhelmed with the situation and got out of the pool then I had a meltdown in front of everyone and isolated myself from everyone, I was scared and then my dad arrived and said if I didn’t get back in I was going to be punished I never got back in. I hate myself, why can I be normal?

Thought of it just now, reminded me of how we live our life As Aspies.

They fucking turn my internet off at 9pm. Then turn it back on at 1pm the next afternoon. Isn't that swell? It's fucking stupid is what it is. My mother says it's "to help wigh my mental health" but it honestly just fucking makes it worse. Idk about other people but evenings are *awful* for my depression. Like the absolute worst time of day for me. I really enjoy(ed) being able to hope on with friends and play some video games or even just watch YouTube until late and then go to sleep. But of course I can't do that anymore. Instead I'm supposed to what, lay in my bed and be stuck with my constant thoughts of depression and suic1de? Not being able to hang with friends and chat with them in the evening sucks so much and doesn't help with my mental health at all. But of course mom doesn't seem to think so after all she's àght and I'm younger so I must be wrong, right? 🙃 I have nothing. No job, because the last time I got one I had a severe panic attack after I got home from just one shift and quit the next day. No license, because I'm to anxious to drive. Nothing. All of my 2 friends and online friends who live in another country so I can only talk with them *with the internet*. Everyone I physically knew in life from school and whatnot has moved on and couldn't care less of my existence. What should I do? What should I say to my stubborn af mother? I need help. I honestly dont see a future for myself. I know that from what you read this seems probably very petty and small but I swear this had been going on for sj many years and I can't take it anymore. I went through therapy but after like 6 appointments my mom canceled it because we ran out of benefits and that was it. I got signed up to some free therapy but it just seemed so much worse. I haven't tried online therapy yet but from what I have read from other people it often isn't very good. Idk what to do. I just need help. Thanks for reading this far I guess if you did, and letting me vent.

The deadline to submit it was a week ago. I try to force myself to write it, but I feel angry and tired after a minute of staring at the screen. Now I think to myself, "How pathetic. I can't even write a fucking paper." Even if I drop out, what could I do instead? I can't go to school regularly, last year I didn't pass because of that, now I'm doing the year part-time, going to school on the weekends and sitting at home wasting my life away in front of a computer. Where would I work? There is no job I can do. An essay is too much for me, so how can I expect to be able to work for multiple hours every day? I feel worthless. And even if I could work, I don't want to. Why do I have to earn to live? I didn't ask to be born, and now it's my problem. This is so stupid. Just because I have lived for 19 years doesn't mean I learned anything in that time. I'm just an irresponsible child, and I am expected to do actual responsibilities. Just because I know algebra doesn't mean I'm not at maturity of a toddler!

(F22) I remember as a child being bullied a lot. In this case we were 5 years old. One of the girls wasn’t doing it a lot; she seemed the nicest in the group. It was her friends mostly doing it. I think she laughed along, carrying on the bullying w her friends, but she was probably kinda ignorant to the jokes and stuff going on. One day she invited me to her birthday party, bc her mom made her invite all the girls in the class. She had a super nice house and I was jealous of her life: friends, parents, etc. I had a horrible time at the party. When we came back to school the next week, she said something to me. I don’t remember how it happened, but I remember going up to her and explaining in detail how I will kill her parents. Maybe as a threat if they bully me again, or I just said it. I was 5. I used to be super mean to my younger sister growing up too, whom no longer talks to me now. And I resented my most recent ex so much, I made him absolutely miserable. I know I’m manipulative. But idk what this part of me could be. I’ve never gotten diagnosed for something besides Pure O/severe depression/anxiety/bipolar.

I'm so depressed. Turning 24 very much in a few days... All I've ever wanted since I was like 12 was to have a partner. But I'm ugly and not financially stable. (I make like 50k but live in Vancouver which is basically only livable at least 80k if not 100k). I failed out of uni like...2 times lmao. (Two different unis). Idk I tried so hard but couldn't concentrate. I'm from a brown household and culture so education is very very important. If you don't have a bachelor's, forget about getting a traditional desi girl haha. My parents are hopeless for me as well because of my lack of education. During my highschool years as many people here, I was "gifted". Legitimately was pretty damn good in school. Uni was different. I failed once. Took a year break. Got some motivation. First term on this other uni, low grades, didn't fail but not good enough. Second term I straight up failed. Third term the university kicked me out. This was in...2018?? My entire confidence and personality at that time was I was good at studying. When I failed this fourth time (cuz it's the forth term), I suffered an ego death of sorts. I completely fell and lost myself. I'm still lost. Have been lost since 2018. A complete failure with no hope. It is said that humanity has gotten so far due to hope, even if failable. So me losing complete and utter hope for... anything for everything. It was and is a devestating blow to me. Anytime the topic of school comes up or studying my body wants to throw up physically. I'm not exaggerating here. Idk I have some sort of ptsd against it now. I have so much anxiety going to family gatherings. I used to be talkative and love family gatherings. Now I dread them and try to be as unnoticeable as possible. Just stay silent, almost curled into a ball. 2018...2019..2020...2021...and now 2022. 5 years.. 😞😞😞

I feel like I am drowning in my life. I don't know what to do. I often feel like the world doesn't care. I know I should probably talk to a Psychologist but every time I have tried i always forget to do something and my appointment is canceled. I hate feeling like I can't get anything right. I need help but I'm scared of opening up to those closest to me. I know logicly that they care about me but for some reason I just can't talk. It is weird that I can say this stuff online to millions of strangers but I can't for the ones that are close to me, it is annoying. I also feel trapped at the job I am currently working at, I enjoy the people but I don't like the type of work that I am doing, because of that I have very conflicted feelings about trying to get a different job. If I could get some advice and suggestions I would appreciate it. Also if anyone knows a good way to find a therapist i need help finding one.

For the record I’m a 21 year old woman. this is a throwaway account but I didn’t realize this might be a symptom of OCD until recent. For the record I have anxiety disorder and I get panic attacks but I also get intrusive thoughts or get stuck in the whole “you’re really this” mindset. I can’t change diapers, dress or give babies baths either I get intrusive thoughts or I get uncomfortable and stuck in the whole “I’m a monster who’s going to hurt them” loop. I’ve only been able to change a diaper once and even then I got super uncomfortable. I didn’t realize until recently this might be ocd until I went on a message board and a mom said she couldn’t change her daughter’s diapers because her OCD might get set off. Now it’s to the point where I can barely go to a mall or watch movies with kids or babies in them. I can be around them, I just can’t wait them. I always thought about going to therapy for it but I get scared the therapist might think I’m a monster too and lock me away. And I want to be an English teacher so I’m afraid that it could disqualify me. Do you think I could have both ocd and anxiety disorder?

I was sexually abused most of my childhood (approximately age 5 to 13). It was as severe as it gets. When I'm dating someone I get extremely apprehensive about sex and anything sex related because I feel like I'm something has just been used for someone's evil enjoyment. Also I struggle with being back and forth between overly sexual and zero desires for anything intimate. I know its confusing for the guys I've been intimate with and the guy I most recently dated couldn't grasp this. In fact he thought it was because of him when I would close down. Any advice would be helpful.

About two months ago, i posted here after being diagnosed with OCD. it was the most recent diagnosis in a series of diagnoses. A couple days ago, I realized the positive changes in my life. The intrusive thoughts are still there, but they are less frequent and have less control over me. I have them and then they go away. The obsessions are less frequent and don't consume me. The compulsions used to consume my day but now they are infrequent, take less time, and require a lot more obsessive thoughts in order for them to start. I feel like a person. I don't know what to do with all the extra free time I have. I'm still adjusting to life with less compulsions. The only negative side effect I've had is weight gain. Which I don't think is from the medication per se, but from me looking for control in other aspects of my life since the obsessions and intrusive thoughts aren't filling that and using food to fill that void. But if the worst side effect I've had is a weight gain, I'll take that 10000% over being consumed by OCD again. I know I can be healthy at any size. I'm just so relieved.

So I've had bad anxiety my whole life, and I think I've had at least some level of depression for a while, but the anxiety took over most of the time so it wasn't as much of a problem. Recently I've been getting treatment for my anxiety with therapy and meds, which has helped a little bit, but now that I'm not as focused on my anxiety all the time I feel like I've been noticing a lot more depression symptoms than normal. Granted, I'm kind of new to this so I'm sorry if what I'm saying is ignorant or not exactly right. But basically I've just been having A LOT more days where I cant get myself to do *anything*. Like normally I would feel bad, physically, cause of my anxiety so I couldn't do much anyway. But now, even when I feel ok and not as anxious, I will literally lay on the couch all day and not have the energy or motivation to get up and do anything. To the point where it makes me start to feel anxious anyway, cause I know theres things I have to do and my health anxiety tells me that laying around all day is really bad for my health. But still I just cant get myself to get up. I literally will sit there sometimes saying to myself like "get up get up get up get up" but I just can't muster the motivation or energy to do it besides to like, get food or go to the bathroom. It's really been taking a toll on me lately and I'm not sure what to do. Do other people have experience with this? How do I get myself to get up and do what I need to do without having to convince myself for hours at a time?

Hey guys, im wondering if someone has this problem too. Whenever i buy something new (game, album, funko, book...) i get home and im staring at it from all different angles to get confirmation that it really is what it is. Or if im not staring at it, im using everything else i can to get that confirmation. For example, i rented the Lord of the Rings Trilogy from Apple this weekend so i could watch it in 4K for the first time. But i kept checking the tv settings if it really is 4k hdr. Then i went to Youtube to watch some comparison videos to get confirmation again. I ended up not enjoying the movies as much because i was still checking if its 4K or not. Then there is also a problem for me with checking the prize. If i really spend the money that are shown on the bill and not more. Excuse my English.

Im 13 and I was in a call with my friends and one of them said something about a girl whos 15 and then he talked about fucking or something and i said as a joke that i jack off to her or something (no i dont its a joke) and we just joked around and one of them said exposed or something and one said something only fans as a joke and this other said shes 15 and i said im 13 i dont care if she made an onlyfans somehow and if i jacked off to her and then i said something like i wouldnt even care if i fucked her or smth im younger and i said i wouldnt even care if im like 10 and i fucked her i meant that as its not illegal for me its illegal for her or bad or whatever and then i said i wouldnt care if i was 9 and i fucked a year old its not my problem or something like that and i dont condone fucking kids i just said that as like its not bad for me its for the older person. Am i a pedo

I'm really struggling and contacted friends (during their sleep [which I feel terrible about imposing]) but I'm still trying to slog through the night. I'm safe. I don't think there's any danger. I just want to get through the night. Anybody out there?

For voice calls on like discord or phone I feel extremely uncomfortable talking unless no one else can hear. Thinkng about people snooping on conversations and stuff is really fcking creepy and uncomfortable. Is this an normal, introvert, or aspie thing or am i just weird

I recently got a diagnosis and in learning about ADHD, what it is, how it works, etc. I'm reminded of a book I read in college: Daniel Kahneman's "Thinking, Fast and Slow." I highly recommend the book, but the single-sentence synopsis is that we operate primarily in autopilot ("System 1") and only engage our higher brain functions ("System 2") when necessary. I couldn't help but feel like ADHD could largely be described as an overactive System 1. This weekend I read ADHD 2.0 by Hallowell and Ratey, and in it they talk about the neurological bases of ADHD. In neurotypical folks, the Task Productive Network (TPN) lights up when engaged in work, and when work ceases, brain energy flows into the Default Mode Network (DMN) that is less intentional and more imaginative. Normally only one network is engaged at a time, but with ADHD the DMN lights up and tries to take over whenever the TPN lights up. I immediately thought that the TPN sounds like System 2 and the DMN like System 1. This morning I did some research and found this research article: [Dual Process Theory of Thought and Default Mode Network: A Possible Neural Foundation of Fast Thinking by Gronchi and Giovannelli](https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01237/full). It backs up my idea that the DMN is the neurological basis of System 1 thinking. I got really excited about this, and I think understanding the System 1/System 2 framework helps me to understand my ADHD a lot better. Have you read Thinking, Fast and Slow, and if so, does this connection make sense to you or shed any light on your ADHD?

I’m in therapy for a lifetime of trauma. I didn’t think of my PTSD as severe because it just seemed normal to me. The hyper vigilance, derealization just to name a couple of things. Yesterday, I was told that I tested on the severe side. I felt sad, for everything I’ve been through, but also extremely relieved. I finally have confirmation from a professional that I was right all along. I have a lot to work on, but it’s going to be ok. It’s not a bad thing. What was your experience?

hi. i’m 17f and i have ocd, specifically pocd. i turn 18 in a month and now i’m scared to interact with anyone younger than me, even other teenagers. i’m not even interested / crushing on anyone younger than me atm. however i see people on reddit saying 18 and 15/16 makes u a pedo, i’m so scared. i went to this gathering and this guy who is friends with my best friend from childhood who’s a year younger than me kept looking at me / passing glances. i am not really attracted to him, and i think he’s 15/16? however i was a bit flattered and i said maybe 3 words to him and then i worried because my voice sounded “different”. i’m so scared because if i were even interested in him would the age gap be bad? i don’t want to date a 15 or 16 year old but i appreciate positive attention. i didn’t say anything bad or sexual even, just something really normal / polite in passing. anyways yeah i am scared bc people on reddit are saying it makes you a predator to have that age gap. there was a guy who i actually liked and we flirted who was only 6 months younger than me, so we were both 17, but i stopped talking to him because of my pocd telling me i cannot even date a person slightly younger. i also am nervous to crush on 17 year olds because i am afraid that even makes me a pedo. my pocd is not consistent at all with ages. one day it will go from little kids to 12 year olds and then to people my own age. i feel really afraid, at this point i will have to milk my preference for older men for all it’s worth because i’m even scared to date someone only slightly older or slightly younger

I was very depressed this night and i was listening to music while crying. And the first time in 2 yrs, since I'm diagnosed with depression, a message from a friend popped up "hey, everything's ok?" it was 2am and i never thought anyone is still up. I told him I don't feel good atm and he really helped me this night. I'm so happy and i still believe there are people who cares about me. It was a good feeling....

Since social media became a thing, what’s culturally/socially acceptable to say seems to change faster that I can keep up with and I’m exhausted. I basically rely on “majority” to know what mask to wear so as not to stand out or cause trouble. So I go from somewhat fitting in to suddenly the devil for uttering what I thought was socially acceptable and it’s like having to learn a whole new language all over again from square one. Anyone else feel like that/deal with that??

Sorry if this a dumb question, but I was wondering - what's the difference between a therapist, a counselor and a psychiatrist? I've been diagnosed with social anxiety and depression. I've been going to a counselor at my local health centre for a couple weeks now, but sometimes I wonder if I'm been "seen" by the right person. How do I decide who from the above is good for me - if there's indeed a difference?

It feels so foreign to me to "take time" for myself or "treat myself". I spend a lot of time focused on others and taking care of others but as my wife said "Who is going to take care of you?" For me to take time to myself would be taking a month off of work and just coming back when I felt like I wanted to vs having to. That's not entirely feasible to do. I feel my inability to understand how to truly take care of myself or take proper time for myself holds me back. As a husband and employee I feel I've given myself to a higher purpose than just my needs. I'd really like help figuring it out

Okay. So I understand that if I’m experiencing symptoms of PTSD after an event, logically, it must’ve been traumatic, right? Well, for some reason, I just can’t get that through my head. I’m starting trauma therapy for the first time in a few days. Honestly, I’m scared. I feel like my therapist will judge me because my “trauma” doesn’t warrant the symptoms I’ve been experiencing. When I was 13, my best friend attempted suicide and her family blamed it on me. (We had an argument beforehand that lead up to it.) At that point in my life, I was already experiencing a lot of depression and anxiety, so what happened made it worse to the point where I was suicidal and self-harming. I had no support system after the trauma as I had very few friends and a bad relationship with my family. Long story short, I kept everything inside and never processed it. This is what caused my PTSD symptoms, and for four years I’ve been struggling with them alone. I know my trauma isn’t nearly as bad as others. I know that people go through worse and still don’t develop PTSD. To be honest, the fact that my trauma has caused me so much distress makes me feel like a wuss. How is my therapist supposed to take me seriously with such a stupid trauma? How is my family supposed to take me seriously? Yes, I didn’t CHOOSE to develop PTSD, but regardless, I feel pathetic. I almost wish I had been through worse in order to truly justify my symptoms. This sucks.

I set god knows how many alerts and calendar events and auto emails to myself so I don't forget theirs. Never missed one of theirs for the 15 years we've known each other. Had a call with another friend but just was trying to bring the mood down. Absolutely gutted, and I can't focus on anything else right now. Thus why I'm awake 3h before having to get up. Their birthdays are less than a month away. I even got a message from one saying they'd bought their boyfriend a Christmas present today. Haven't had it in me to reply

I find this to be something I struggle with a lot, especially with bras, the feeling of clothes touching my body is reminiscent of the feeling of being touched by a person for me. I end up just wearing baggy clothes all of the time bc I can’t get used to the feeling of normal clothes. I also buy bras that are like way too big. Idk if anyone else struggles with this but I feel so alone sometimes. If you happen to relate have you found anything that helps you??

I've been feeling lonely for a long time, years. Everyone seems to be making new friends except me. I can't take it anymore. I feel like I'm going to die alone and that thought scares me, but I feel like there's nothing I can do to change it. I can't embrace this loneliness and I can't make friends...

*No matter I got out of a long distance very very abusive relationship with someone who I suspect is a narcissist. I always labeled myself to be in the asexual spectrum because I honestly don't have a lot of sexual attraction. My ex conditioned me to be a sexual object he demanded nudes any time anywhere, said he needed me to be ready at all times and made comments such as "it's mine and I'll take it when i want it". When he discarded me I went into shock which gave me a psychotic episode (I'm bipolar) not sure if you've heard about this but these people literally throw people away with no warning or closure once they're not good for them anymore it was very traumatizing. I began to hallucinate things and was in a very very bad state of mind. After a while of me spamming him and trying to get him to talk to me all he replied was "Would you do anything to get me to stay with you?" followed by a "make me feel good then" he told me he wanted me to be his sex object and he coerced me into doing things he knew I wasn't comfortable with by telling me that he'll give me another chance. I wasn't in the right state to consent I just wanted the pain to stop. He ended up throwing me away anyways. I felt so gross and dirty. I ended up trying to take my life because of how used I felt. When I got out I confronted about it and he slut shamed me and said I asked for it. A few weeks later he manipulated me into giving him another chance and I was very traumtized and hypersexual and he took advantage of that. Things got worse and he abused me more until I finally found out that he was cheating on me all year. I have come to terms with the fact that it wasn't my fault and he's just a horrible person. But no matter what I do I still feel like a slut, like an object like someone who is only meant to please. I have not been coping with this good at all I have self harmed my breasts and I cry every time I look at my body. I'm currently doing EMDR with my therapist but I just want to stop feeling like trash all the time.

Do you remember the times you have had flashbacks really well? Like if someone asked how many flashbacks you have had in the last month, would you be able to give a specific number and remember when/where? My answer to that was “5 or 6 times” and someone told me that they weren’t real flashbacks or I would remember for sure.

If you're allistic (non-autistic) with an autistic friend, parent, sibling, classmate, bf/gf, husband/wife, coworker, roommate, etc., and you see this, here's how you talk to and understand autistic people: 1. BE DIRECT. It couldn't be emphasized enough that when you talk to an autistic person, being very direct is the way to go. You don't just be direct, you sometimes have to explain in a lot more detail about how you're feeling, what you're doing, etc. Also don't expect them to pick up on abstract language easily either such as idioms or metaphors. Autistic people's brains are hardwired to not pick up on subtle cues, lies, or abstract language easily since they are naturally literal/concrete thinkers. On the flip side, as a result of this type of thinking, autistic people are often very honest, loyal, and trustworthy. 2. Know what focused interests and info-dumping means. If you go to an autistic person and see them spewing a long lecture about facts about their interest, don't just assume that they're "egocentric" or that they're "selfish". In fact, they might actually be wanting to be friends with you! When autistic people talk to other people that they're interested in, they usually drop the small talk and move on to the big talk since info-dumping to autistic people would mean conversation of substance rather than talk like weather, sports, etc. They would think that you would probably be fascinated in what they're interested in. 3. Be aware of sensory differences. If you know in any way that they're autistic, just ask them about what bothers them so you could be supportive to your autistic friend. Generally, autistic people tend to be more sensitive to things such as sound, light, texture, smells, temperature, and pain. Autistic brains take up an extreme amount of detail to the point where too much can turn into a meltdown. In fact, autism is sometimes called "intense brain theory". Don't take them to loud places without permission or force them to wear uncomfortable clothing or they could have a meltdown! No is no. When you ask them about what you could do to help them, not only are you being helpful, they would love to hear about it since it shows that you're being a good friend. 4. Don't suppress stims. Do not just think that an autistic person has the "mind or thought of a child" just because they use their fidget spinner or rock on a chair. You would just be pathologizing and stigmatizing autism even more by doing this. Stimming for autistic people is their unique way of expressing emotions and letting out sensory stimuli. Again, autistic people process sensory stimuli differently and emotions as well, so if you force them to suppress their emotions or sensory stimuli, there would be an embarrassing meltdown! For example, when an autistic person hand flaps or rocks in their chair after like winning the lottery, eating chocolate, or listening to their favorite music, the autistic person is most likely happy. 5. Don't mistake lack of eye contact for anything else. Just because they don't make eye contact doesn't mean they're "creepy" or that they have some secret agenda such as "becoming a school shooter". As in other points stated above, autistic people's brains are very often extremely detail-oriented and monotropistic which means that their tunnel vision is very intense so eye contact to them would be the sensation of getting stabbed. In fact, if you don't force eye contact upon them, in their mind, they're going to pay attention to you better. 6. Don't expect them to show emotion or tone the way you do. Autistic people may not show emotion or tone on their faces very often, so don't judge them as some "robot" or "psychopath". It's just that autistic people show it differently as previously said in number 4 that autistic people express their emotions through stimming. If an autistic person stims when they see you, they must be happy to see you! Autistic people even experience emotions very deeply. However, alexithymia is very common in autistic people though, but it doesn't mean they don't experience emotions, but they would just have lots of trouble recognizing what their own emotions are. 7. Don't assume that they lack empathy. Again, if they do not respond the way you guys do like through faces or words, they might just be reacting in a different way. In fact, an autistic person might even have hyper empathy. Keep in mind that autistic people can also have no empathy, but just like anyone else, they can have extreme empathy or no empathy at all. Usually, an autistic person might also seem to "lack empathy" while not actually lacking because autistic people have a very hard time relating to your experiences. Actually, this goes in both ways too. Autistic people have a hard time understanding allistic people while allistic people have a hard time understanding autistic people. This is known as the double empathy problem. Because autistic people and allistic people have massive differences in thoughts, interests, preferences, personalities, and more, it is often very hard for the two parties of mixed neurotypes to understand each other's experiences since their brains are vastly different. The way the double empathy problem can be broken down is by you guys asking autistic people about how they experience life while they ask you back about how you guys experience life. That way, even though you guys might not always relate to each other, you both could at least learn from each other's experiences and develop deeper connections. To conclude this, the problems that autistic people have are not mostly as a result of being autistic themselves but because of society since autistic people are the minority and are expected to fit in. So the deal is if autistic people have to constantly learn how to understand you guys' way of interaction and thought processing, then you guys have to also learn about how you would understand autistic people's way of interaction and thought processing. Just think about how you guys would feel if you were the minority while autistic people were the majority. Therefore, we can bring peace to allistic and autistic people and end the crises that autistic people experience, and we can coexist peacefully! If you're reading this as an autistic person though, tell me what do you think of this guide. Will it help?

Hello everyone I posted about my POCD experience and someone threatened to call the police on me. I do not like children at all and I can't help I get intrusive thoughts. They're in my messages threatening me

I have a serious problem with this sort of thing and it’s something my mom gets really annoyed by. I honestly don’t know why I tell people things me and her talked about in regard to her friends or family but it’s caused a few bumps here and there. What do you think causes this?

I see so many people talk about healing like it's a goal of being as close to they were "before" as they can get. But what about those of us who have no before? The first time I was...the first incident started when I was three. Healing is a journey but I can't see the road. What good is a map that can only show you one place to be?

Before i start i’m sorry if i don’t describe things super well, i don’t really know the wording for anything yet. Is it possible to have ocd that only shows itself occasionally? over the the course of my life so far i’ve had what falls into the description of rituals i’ve seen talked about on here, that have lasted anywhere from a week to a year but then didn’t seem to exist for a couple years in between. for example, i’ve been compulsively swallowing for the last two days and i can’t seem to stop but i haven’t had anything happen since about a year ago, at that point i had to touch my front door knob on the “right” spot 4 times before leaving to go to work, stuff like that. this has been going on and off since i was a child, and the times it happened i thought i was going insane and had no idea what ocd was. I guess a lot of the time i see ocd talked about as something that is happening all the time, so is it possible for it to not be consistent? or am i struggling with something else entirely?

So I started PTSD therapy a month ago with the VA. It was helpful in the beginning, till I had to write a detailed statement about what happened and how it effects me. I then had to read it to my therapist. Ever since then, I've been in the deepest depression. I told my therapist that and she said it's normal. I'm just hoping it gets better, but part of me feels like it won't..

Since I was little I always had this feeling that I'd not live pass 30, last Oct I got 29 and I can't see any resolution , also I can't afford therapy nor have the energy that it needs. I don't want die I just want cease to exist. I'm mostly dumping because I feel like I annoyed the shit out of the people that's around me. (If it's not allow I understand if this get deleted.)

Hi guys, I was diagnosed in December and I never thought I had PTSD. Because I don't have the traditional symptoms like vivid flashbacks and reliving an event, instead I just feel the emotions I felt at the time, and most of the time it is not attached to a specific event but the collection of trauma and feelings I felt in the past. My therapist and I have been discovering a few triggers, but they usually end up in me having a intense emotional reaction and act in a way that is self destructive for me. Not necessarily the traditional symptoms like flashbacks and nightmares of a specific event. Sometimes I feel like I don't have PTSD and I am just being dramatic and emotional. Is this normal? I feel like my PTSD is so different from what I have heard it is and I am confused I just feel like I need to learn more about my diagnosis. I would love to hear from some of you with similar experiences.

I've realized recently (or rather admitted to myself) that I have been using screens as a way to turn off my constantly racing thoughts for years. As a result I feel like I've lost myself completely. I don't know who I am, I don't have any personal opinion on anything (not internet related). I feel like I've been completely disconnected from the world I live in. ​ I've tried multiple times to cut down my screen usage but I keep falling back into a vicious cycle of worrying->going on the internet to calm down -> being paralyzed -> getting more anxious because I'm procrastinating -> ... ​ This summer I read the book "Smart phone, dumb phone" which helped me break out of this cycle at least temporarily. This September I joined a sports club which keeps me occupied two evenings a week. I've started baking too and letting my phone and computer out of my bedroom at night. ​ I already reach for my phone less but do you guys have any tips regarding that issue ? What do you do to relax you brain that isn't internet related ? How do you mitigate the non-stop stream going on in your brains ?

My sibling wrote about the night I was raped by someone then abused by my parents as her art and used my baby photos. I found out about this years later through her public art account. She seemed emotionless the whole time she explained what her intentions were and her "sorry" sounded really cold. So I confronted her weeks later that I cannot forgive her and that her apology did not sound genuine to me. She said she can't do anything about it because she does not understand. And that she was writing about her experience of that incident, not my trauma. She also kept emphasizing that this was before she knew that I was raped that night. Then she just left the house. I don't feel loved or safe or cared for. I've been trying to be okay with this and bottling my feelings up but I don't think it's fair for me.

I am very depress and feeling extremely uneasy thing moving in my stomach and heart idk.I want to cry out loud but not able to do it... Starting from a trip that supposedly to be 4 day but later on extended and join with 2nd trip so totally 9 day. Me and 4 more other when on a trip,I really love one of the girl,on 2nd days while I sleep other of my friend go and told her that I like her and she said she just treat me normal and she have other in her mind.I was so extremely sad and couldn't eat and sleep well So the trip went on and next day while only me and another friend was out buying something she told me this,I feeling so sad but still don't want to give up.So since that day the trip is awkward between the girl I like and me and it continues like that for next 7 day,I really feel like killing myself. Now we are back and we still met in class at almost every single day,I didn't know how to act...I am so sad and didn't know what to do it never been like this in extremely sad mood and god,I can't even cry out,I feel like vomiting all the time,even drinking water,can't breath nicely as how I used to be most of time...

I am on max dose and I have no positive nor negative effect. I dont have the realistic dreams. Actually I cant fuckingg dream at all People feels drowsy sleepy or tired or constipated. And me I am energetic as fuck. All the energy turns into ocd.

Hi. My name is Lapis- I'm 15 and I'm being tested for PTSD, Otherwise specified dissociative disorder, among other things. I am still struggling to accept that I'm a survivor of childhood abuse. Its really, really hard to accept. So I thought sharing it on here would be useful. (Trigger warning, so please read with caution!! Will mention physical, sexual, and mental abuse.) When I was a kid, both my parents were alcoholics. I cant remember most of the abuse but what I do remember is Verbal and physical abuse. I remember being in constant fear of being hurt, like walking on eggshells. When my mother finally became sober, my father only got worse. It eventually evolved into him abusing my other 2 sisters and my mother. My twin has no memory of this abuse, which worries me aswell. This went on from the ages of 2-14. He has been on and off sober and it really fucks with me. I'm 15 now. I always have to question my safety and whether hes drunk again or not. The latest episode of his was when I was 14, and he ruined our vacation. I had to take care of him the entire time and wake up to him cussing out my mother the last night we were there. I am also questioning s*xual abuse from a relative. Sometimes, i get memories of it. But, I'm thinking this is just my brain tricking me as I only started remembering In the past year. I have been through other traumas aswell. I was sexually exploited online from the ages of 9-13, by dozens of men and woman. This has made me feel as though I am just an object, sometimes. I am still coming to terms with what the abuse online has done to me. School trauma and relationship trauma are also prominent. But I won't go into those. They were very recent, however. My most recent trauma has been helping my girlfriend through her abusive home life. Anyways...I guess that's my story. It's not everything, but sometimes I do question if it's enough to even be traumatized. Or to have OSDD/alters at all. So many people have gone through worse then me and it makes me feel terrible. Like I am overreacting to what has happened to me. Thank you for reading.

Have you also been feeling somewhat isolated? I’m not just talking about the pandemic, and honestly as my personal philosophy bolsters slowly over time it’s become less of an inconvenience. But it’s sometimes hard to connect with others in a deeper level. When someone is willing to open up, it’s pretty easy to get into the nitty-gritty, share about myself and empathetically listen to them. “”Over””-sharing makes this easy enough to kickstart from my end. But a wall is sometimes hit when -I always preface with how bad this sounds- I find them intellectually boring. Not just like math-nerd intelligence, but emotional and philosophical as well. I know special people are just that for a reason. But I can’t take it: I was placed in my adhd assessment in the 99th percentile for cognitive reasoning skills -by some metric I’ve got no understanding of- and it’s frustrating when I’m a dude with a wax-on, wane-off focus and drive and a brain that goes “hmm yes, obsessively pondering cosmology, QM and philosophy as hobbies sound like a good idea”. I just feel bad sometimes because when I notice illogic everywhere (mostly outside myself) I have to often say nothing to not be considered a dick. When I try to explain something really cool about sociology/economics or some spacetime stuff I can often be met with blank looks and apologies for not understanding. And just... fuck online dating. The profiles we all make trying to portray this imagined figure that’s usually blocking the view of the 100 red flags behind it. Fuck texting, I hate it with 99% of people, I feel like I’m drafting an essay about conveying how confident, and sexually attracted -but not TOO sexual, I mean, unless you’re into that?- I am. Like “be yourself” is fine and all, but that won’t reliably get you the two most important things: hearts (minds) and ass (head). And the shit I like to talk about can come across as boring when I’m not emphatically spitting hot bars and waxing philosophic about how napkins are a social construct. Plus my expectations are too high, why am I still surprised whenever I’m ghosted? And then there’s the issue of parental problems yadayada but anyway I’m improving much slower than my taste, in this online age, and find it hard to make that final “hey, let’s be friends/meet again/in the real world”. I’m still pretty awkward, I really want to meet people irl because fuck texting as a first impression, but going from “casually talking to this stranger/coworker” to “becoming true friends” is the leap I find it hard to make. Anyway, I’m off my dextrose today if y’all couldn’t tell. ❤️ P.S. and how the hell do I start exploring maybe being non-binary? In THIS economy? Forget it!

Today was rough and got me thinking about shitty unexpected triggers ​ (The one that got me was a customer had pointy ears. Also, just want to rant, my mom was listening to the news this morning where they loudly talked about SA and R. And an customer told my today that I "am a very attractive woman." This was especially rough bc one abuser said, "I am very attracted to you, AbsurdPigment," right before abusing me. Rough.) So many songs on my Spotify I can no longer listen to. Because I listened to them around the time/my abusers have similar interest. Eggplant, cherries, anime, D&D, caterpillars, BOTW, Diablo, OUR BLUE PLANET, dolphins, turtles, blood, down syndrome, nighttime, my best friend, Final Fantasy, beakers and lab equipment, certain weed pens, SHOWERS, certain lighting, suicide memes, music producers, the moon directly over a building, math, Russian and so much more. ​ And a lot of this has some bizarre ass reasons for being on this list. Connecting dots isn't recommended. Too much. Like what the hell. I never expected this for some shit. I can't prepare. But I smothered the ear thing, which REALLY set me off, but telling myself, " I don't need this. I don't need to do this." So that kinda helped. But yeah. Feel free to share your weird triggers that piss you off. ​ Have a peaceful night if you can. Get through it. ​ Edit: You bet your snap crackle ass pop I'm high. What, you think I got through this sober the entire day?? Pfffsh. Fugget aabout et.

I'm interested in ways parents and schools can improve sex ed for autistic people. A few years ago my local autism group had a discussion about sex and relationships. What really surprised me was how uncomfortable most (about 80%) of the group was with the discussion. We're a close group and talk about lots of other personal stuff, but some people were so uncomfortable they left the room (no personal questions were asked or anything, it was just a general discussion of the topic). I know a lot of parents struggle with how to best help their autistic kids understand puberty and reproduction, so I'm looking into what works best. There are also myths and stereotypes that autistic people have no interest in sex or relationships (hahaha!) and therefore don't need sex ed. Personally my parents did a great job, but school sex ed was often confusing and overwhelming. I'm very visual, so my mom needed to find me books with pictures to help me understand certain things. Here are my questions: - What would have helped you have a better sex ed experience? More visuals? Specific, to the point information? Being given smaller amounts of information at a time? - What do you wish you'd learned about but didn't? For example, I think it's so important for people to know proper body part names. I can't tell you how many adults I've met who don't realize the vagina and vulva are different things or think pee comes out of the vagina. I wish I'd known that sensory issues could become an issue during sex. - What helped you have a better understanding of puberty or sex? - What do you wish NT parents and teachers understood about talking about puberty, sex, and relationships with autistic people (especially kids and teens)? And anything else you think is relevant.

does it effect your masturbation and porn/smut watching/reading, cause i realized i have a weird compulsion for more taboo porn, and i hate it, cause it then gives me intrusive thoughts, about actual people in my life, and i don't want that. i want to be normal thoughts and to rewire my brain. also does anyone get harm ocd in the middle of masturbation? cause it happens alot, probably cause i have read dark shit before and fapped to it. not proud of it and kinda think im a monster for it now. like i don't even think im aroused by any of it, i jsut think masturbation for me is a compulsion then what i consume while trying to finish is a searching compulsion. or i just fap out of boredom. or reacting to a groinal response. is there anyway to stop? i have been trying nofap but i only make it one day,every couple of days and then i relapse as they call it. anyway have a nice day/night

Im currently studying to become a teacher (computing sciences, biology and philosophy/ethics) for the german equivalent of high school. I struggled a long time and during covid and a change of universities, i lost my access to "BAföG" which is a loan you get by Germany itself of which you only have to pay back half with 0 interest after you are done studying (its a great system). So im here, struggling, now struggling even more, i developed a serious eating disorder (doesnt help when low on budget) so i finally decided to try to become a private tutor. And the local tutoring-company accepted me!!!! Im starting on the 28th and im so hyped abojt this! I will be able to get experience in teaching and dealing with a group of kids. In really looking forward to it! (And getting money for that is a great help too) i wish all of you here a great weekend!!

Hi guys. I was recently diagnosed as ADHD which I suspected for a while. I am 32 years old so the diagnosis came a little late. My psychiatrist says he doesn’t treat adhd patients anymore (he prescribes me anxiety/depression medication to help with BPD which I suspect is actually ADHD[or ASD]). He said he would give me medication if I got diagnosed by a psychologist because I’ve been his patient for so long. So I went ant got assessed and that psych put me on Straterra which interacts with lexapro which I am also on. I have not talked to my original psychiatrist about taking Straterra because I haven’t talked to him this month, but the new psych knows what meds I am on and never told me about the interactions until I searched them up myself. So I have been on Straterra for 17 days. I’m moody and irritable which I wasn’t on my current regiment. I took my blood pressure and it is in fact high. It didn’t use to be high. I want out. At this point I’d rather have ADHD than be a moody asshole with high blood pressure. So I have been on it just over two weeks. Can I quit cold turkey since it’s only been two weeks? Im really freaked out about the BP thing. I think my doctor would prescribe me more “conventional” adhd medication, even though it’s controlled which I think is why he doesn’t treat adhd patients anymore. But said he would since I’ve been his patient so long. The medication is a capsule so I can’t break it in half. I was going to take one every other day until I don’t. What do you all suggest?

Hey guys! I'm gonna do a bullet point story because that helps me understand things so it may help you :) * I am a 22 y/o woman who just discovered she has ADHD a few months back. * It has been incredibly eye-opening and has helped me unpack and uncover so much about my life and childhood. I could go on so many tangents about "gifted students", familial ADHD, IQ masking symptoms, disproportionate diagnosis based on gender, personality subtypes, etc. because I am a psych major who has become semi-hyper fixated on the ins and outs of ADHD, but that's beside the point. * Recently I have been spending a good amount of my free time looking at studies on google scholars as well as discovering this lovely community and the hilariously similar experiences we all share. * During COVID lockdowns, I nannied two little girls and essentially tutored them for about 6 months. One of them seemed to struggle quite a bit with her sight words and could not for the life of her focus long enough for certain tasks. Her energy was abounding and she and I had a great connection over our passion for animals and silliness. I also noticed that she was very easily frustrated, a trait not uncommon in your average 5-year-old, but hers felt different. It felt familiar. She had a frustration and impatience that I have since recognized in myself when I could not understand things right away as a child and led my parents to believe I was a badly behaved child. * It has been some time since I was working with those girls, but because of this recent fascination with my own diagnosis, I couldn't help but to reflect on my experience with the girl I nannied. Eventually, I thought, why not, and knowing the chances of her mother being receptive were high, I texted her and told her that there could be a potential diagnosis there, but if she was uncomfortable, since she knows her child best, she need not respond. * She immediately called me and told me right away that her daughter was literally just diagnosed with ADHD in July. She works in sports psychology, so she was very intrigued to hear more about my own experiences and insights, and we chatted for quite a while with me providing tips as well as opinions that she solicited. * I just thought I'd give you all a bit of credit for being a part of my journey in understanding ADHD. It was an affirming thing for my inner-child to recognize and for my future career in psychology/therapy to comfort in.

I had pocd and contamination ocd, i started meds like 3 weeks ago. Those themes arent coming much but for some reason im having hocd, or arleast i think it is. Now I’m ruminating if im bi. Why arent the meds working.

I live in Arizona. It's pretty nice here all year around. During the summer, I am fine. However, I've noticed around October or November, I start getting miserable depressed and hopeless. Arizona does have a change of seasons, but its not like it becomes dark and depressing out. I'm wondering if it could be SAD? I did live in cold climates the majority of my life until the last five years. I'm maybe wondering if my mind is drawing off those experiences? For example, when it changes here a little bit, my mind subconsciously associates it with my experience in the colder climates? I was also wondering if maybe my mind was drawing off my childhood experiences? I lived in a toxic household and would often feel trapped and miserable during the winter. In the summer, I could go outside and play with friends, etc. ​ Thanks

I overreacted to a news story and now I hate myself. This is how I feel after most of my overreactions and I don’t know how to stop myself from feeling this way when I overreact. Any tips?

I’m 22. I’ve had “social anxiety” my whole life, and I developed “depression” in my early teens. Come to find out I have cptsd - where anxiety and depression are symptoms. This was something “too big” for me to consider having. It seemed like there was no way I had it that bad, and it wasn’t fair for me to consider the possibility. Nobody had directly mentioned it to me (largely because my therapist at the time didn’t seem to be a fan of diagnosing, yet handed me a book about emotional shock that heavily referenced c/ptsd in our first meeting) but for some reason about a little over a year ago I began to seriously consider the possibility on my own that I have it. I did some research and things seemed to fit on nearly every level. Diagnoses are very uncomfortable for me because I feel like I’m “searching” for them because of my past experiences, and because self diagnosis is so looked down upon. I wasn’t one to self diagnose, except with depression and anxiety because I only got the diagnosis of those after a s*icide attempt after years of struggling. I knew something was wrong early on. I spent a long time thinking I was born that way and yet here we are, those were a result of cptsd. Realizing that I had that, so many things fell into place and I felt so relieved that I wasn’t born wanting to die, that I felt that way for a reason and that my childhood wasn’t healthy despite no adult in my life seeing anything wrong with it. After a while I’ve noticed a lot of “bread crumbs” - symptoms of autism that don’t overlap with any current disorder that my doctors have talked about. My therapist mentioned ADHD, and while I definitely fit those symptoms, we all know ADHD overlaps. I think some of my symptoms from cptsd might actually be from ASD. I think so many symptoms of Autism can be explained by ADHD and cptsd that these “bread crumbs” seem negligible. But I’ve come to realize how much of an issue they’ve been for me - how they have directly played a role in my development of cptsd. I’m a girl and at about 13 a doctor mentioned the possibility of aspergers in front of my mom and I, and I probably not only had no real understanding of the spectrum, but this, too - later on, has seemed “too big” for it to be fair of me to consider. I don’t remember her saying anything about it. But, I truly feel this fits for me but I’m afraid to bring it up to my current therapist. I started seeing her for ptsd and she’s the one who has mentioned ADHD to me. I know deep down there are glaring symptoms outside of ADHD that fit into ASD, but I’m so scared she won’t see them and dismiss me. I want to be taken seriously, because this, like cptsd feels so right that having validation in this would free me in a way. Free me in the sense that these things that I don’t see anyone else do, or hear anyone else talk about have an actual cause. I am not simply just “strange.” My “weirdness” that causes a genuine hinderance in my life, that makes it harder for me to go about my day, isn’t just some personality trait of mine. I want to know how to handle this. Don’t get me wrong, I think there are things about this that are a gift - assuming I do have it. My brother was diagnosed with ADHD at a young age, and being in his mid 20s now I’ve thought for years that it’s likely he’s on the spectrum. I am much more high functioning than him, and so like literally everything else (as he was the squeaky wheel) the chances of anyone paying enough attention to me - a shy, quiet girl - to consider I have ASD were probably at least a bit lower than most young girls. One thing that also intensifies my fear of being dismissed is that I am very empathetic. I do think that’s a direct result from my cptsd. If I’m one on one with someone I know at least a little - I am comfortable and I think I can read their feelings to a decent extent. But I’ve looked back and noticed how many times I’ve just completely not understood what was and wasn’t appropriate to say or do or ask in a situation. When it comes to more personal emotions I am capable of that sort of empathy, but general social skills and atmospheres I’m completely unaware, and I only know that because I can read reactions of people. I have not been able to learn from that, though. I know it’s very common for people with ASD to have poor gauges on how people are feeling and what not, and I seem to have some semblance of that but still am very empathetic. I could sit here and list all of the things that feel like evidence for me having ASD, and part of me wants to just because I’ve not yet given myself the grace to deeply think this through. I should probably do that on my own time, at the very least. But anyways, I could do that but it would only be for myself as I know there are no answers for me, here. Regardless - if you read this it means a lot. I hope it made sense.

My brother is very successful, and recently he think he also might have adhd, given his behavior throughout the years being similar to mine. He has never been medicated, so I feel like if he does have adhd, which is a very good chance, does that mean I really am just stupid if I can't cope without adderall? I burnt out a lot quicker than he did and I feel like maybe I'm just weak? I honestly don't know. Before I was diagnosed I always assumed I was just a lazy piece of shit who needed to get a planner, but that never worked. But if my brother coped with it this long, at the age of 30, why couldn't I? I felt the same around people with depression who were successful. I felt like I didn't deserve help and I really was just being lazy.

Wondering if anyone else got into the genre and or some of the sub-genre? Anyone else go see bands, or what has your experience been like? I got into punk @ 15 when someone I knew in 10th grade got a comp tape of punk bands. It really struck a cord with me and spoke to my feelings of injustice, powerless-ness and just overwhelming rage. I start going to see bands like when I was 17 until I was 33 when I moved and had to focus on work. Punk most likely saved my life - it gave me a community. All of us knew were were freaks, despised and literally under siege. When I got into in 1981 it was NOT considered kool. It lead to me getting into fights all the time and of course the cops always blamed us. For some reason my personality clicked with more than a few people. Back then shows were in tiny clubs - forget any sort of backstage - at best there was a walk-in closet sized space for the band. So bands would hang out with the crowd before and after the shows. I got to hang out with many bands over the years, even went on tour a few times with them. Anyone else?

This usually happens with me. I think about something hilarious to me and then it turns into an intrusive thought. Then I stop laughing, because I feel like I’m offending someone.

I've always felt like I'm on the hoarder spectrum. Is it true? Idk. I have a lot of stuff. I've taken piles of trash bags out to the dumpster of my stuff and I'm still left with too much stuff. But besides having too much stuff, I don't put anything away. I use my floor as if it was just a giant shelf. I don't clean, I don't throw things away. I just don't feel like doing it in the moment and never get back to it. This weekend, I was looking for a dog toy in this cabinet and I pulled out this soft toy with larvae all over it. I think these were moths but I'm not sure. I was in shock. Really, I knew I had some little moths but I never saw where they were coming from. I felt disgusting and so ashamed. I started sobbing. My boyfriend was over and helped me clean out the cabinet and throw away anything affected. How could I let this happen? How have I let it get so bad? Why can't I do the bare minimum? I have clothes everywhere, shoes everywhere, half empty cans of water everywhere. I've always been this messy, always. I was never really taught how to take care of myself and I could never gain the motivation to do it consistently. My boyfriend is telling me that if we just clean the whole place really well once, it'll be easier to keep up with it. I feel like it's a lost cause. I've cleaned my whole place before. It never stays like that for long. I feel like a failure.

I guess I’m just asking for advice or support, I feel horrible today. I’ve had a lot of anxiety surrounding something called PGAD after reading about it a couple weeks ago. It caused me to focus on my genitals too much, causing a constant groinal response for the past 2 days. I’ve had it before twice now and it lasted a day or so each last time. I guess this one is causing me more anxiety because it’s lasted longer. I had the worst day today I’ve been crying almost constantly. I’m so uncomfortable and I hate having OCD so much. It’s exhausting. I feel so lost. Does anyone have any words of wisdom :(

As I cycle through the various emotions again I find myself asking myself more and more what is the point in carrying on. I know I haven’t got the balls to do anything to end it, at the moment anyway, so I got to thinking what other people’s motives behind getting up every day and keeping going are? Do you guys keep going hoping/thinking there is something better ahead or is there some other reason? Half the time I don’t even think I’m asking in a ‘depressed’ way any more, like genuinely what is the point of getting up every day to work a job I hate to live in a world that offers little to no joy? It seems illogical..

I was put on 20mg fluoxetine for anxiety and depression 4 months ago. After 2 weeks, the side effects of fluoxetine subsided and i felt pretty great. But I was not able to focus, I was impulsive, my mind raced a lot, I had risk taking behavior. Because of this, I suspected an episode of hypomania and my psychiatrist agreed with me and put me on risperidone and later aripiprazole(abilify) and fluoxetine was reduced to 10 mg. But it did not help much with the focus or impulsivity. Later in therapy, I realized I might have ADHD along with GAD and right now I'm in the process of getting properly assessed for ADHD. But could it be possible that I had adhd all along and my adhd symptoms exacerbated with fluoxetine? Now I'm on 10 mg prozac and 2.5 mg ability. But I want to get my adhd treated first as it's seriously affecting my studies and I am even ready to get off all meds to get my focus back. As fluoxetine is working for anxiety, is it possible to get treated with both fluoxetine (for anxiety) and adhd meds together?

i’m not sure if anyone else experiences this but i might as well see. i often get intrusive thoughts over me getting diagnosed with depression/being depressed. i obviously don’t want to be depressed, and i don’t know what id do if i was. depression runs in my family and i’m terrified it’s going to affect me. i’m scared i’ll be missing out on my life if i feel depressed. there are times when i feel sad and i get super obsessed with these thoughts that i think it could be depression. i suffer from hocd, and my brain has always had an ocd-mindset if that makes sense. telling myself that i have anxiety or ocd doesn’t affect me as much as it does when i tell myself i could have depression. i think this is deeply rooted in my cousin taking his life earlier this year. that was when i realized this was a thing that could affect me as well as everyone else. i’ve had fears that my friends and family suffer from depression. in general, it’s just scary to me. idk what to do or what to look up to see if this affect anyone else. but the way i obsess over these thoughts reminds me of ocd, so i figured i’d come here. any help is greatly appreciated.

I've always had this problem, probably since I was at least 15, so the past 20 years. Seems to be getting worse. Anxiety, fatigue and reflux are also getting worse. So far I have tried escitalopram plus bupropion for 3 weeks and then just escitalopram for 4 weeks. I think I was seeing some improvement with escitalopram but was having bruxism problems. What medication might work best for me?

I (19M) have been struggling with depression for many years now. I have hit my peak of depression and am just at a loss for what I should do. Hardly anyone likes me. Nobody reaches out to me directly to hang out or talk. I have about 4 or 5 friends total in college. I’ve never been exceptional or special. I’ve always been shy and introverted, always scared to start conversation. There is nothing special about me, so people make no effort to get to know me, and why should they? There is quite literally no reason for anyone to be interested in having anything but a surface level relationship with me. I’m a terrible conversationalist and my mind is just blank when I try to say anything interesting. I have no passions, hobbies, or interests. The only thing that’s ever been different about me was music. I’ve always been very musically inclined. I was emotionally abused for well over a decade by my mother and my father wasn’t present if this helps explain any of this. Please help me understand myself.

I have suffered from depression for about a decade or so. The pandemic has made it worse since my dad died from covid in March of '20. I just don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to do it myself, though I have had thoughts, but I want something to happen to me. Whether it be a car accident, hit by a bus or even covid (I know its not guaranteed, but I do have underlying conditions). I am not sure if there is a term for this. I have spoken to people about my issues, aside from my therapist and they have told me that I am very selfish for wanting out because I have kids. Some may think that, but I can't control how I feel. This is why I keep things bottled up. I just want to be happy. I cry everyday and its not fair. I just want to be happy. I try to put a brave face on for my kids. I really miss him. I am sorry if this is all over the place, but I just needed to speak, even if its to strangers on the internet and hoping that I don't get called selfish. I just want to be free.

Basically i have these 2 female friends that im really close with but i dont have feelings for them but i keep ruining our relationship by being needy and cosntanltly needing attention, and when they talk about other boys i get extremely jealous and angry and basically say they are the reason im always insecure and have no confidence but after like 15 minutes i cool down and it doesnt bother me anymore. Is this something i can have from being asperger or is it something else and if so where should i head it with this .

I just realized that the easiest way for me to get to know someone is to learn what music they like. Usually I'm familiar with the artists because I listen to so much music. Music evokes a lot of thoughts and feelings and helps me understand them, and whether or not we would get along. I tend to associate their music tastes with them. Since I seem to understand music, I often use it to connect emotionally and often reference songs either explicitly or in my head. Anyone else similar?

Any one else bad at time management? I’m especially bad at it at work. Before I was diagnosed (this past August) it was really bad. Now that I’m medicated it’s gotten slightly better. Luckily my new SM knows that I have it and she has it too and understands is working with me on it. One thing that has gotten better tho is my focus especially on tasks I find boring. Before I was getting into trouble for not getting tasks done (like tags and freight.) Now I can actually focus on them and am doing really good in that aspect. Just need to manage my time better. Does anyone have any tips?

Whenever I try to sleep I always need to be deprived of it, I can't have a normal sleep schedule because of this and whenever I do fall asleep I sleep for several hours on end usually 12+ hours, is there any way I can try to get somewhere close to a normal sleep schedule

I want to bit of a short post just to express it to someone, I guess. My psych course this semester is for my minor that I kind of had to take (it’s part of a convoluted libarts system I won’t get into) and the class is very much one of those that’s better suited for the majors in that field than the minors. I know I’m a college student and I’m here to be srs, etc etc but this is the kind of prof who you actually need to do the readings for/know for sure what’s being talked about. It’s hard. I dislike it b/c of the heavy focus on knowing research studies and so on, and it’s not related to my major. Even though the class does have some things that could be useful for reasons I won’t get into here, it’s just a drag. Y’all know the struggle. I’m also a senior so I need to pass this class to finish my psych minor. A little stressed that despite getting it done that I won’t do it right enough to get a decent grade. My current grade is fine, but I haven’t had the best time at college and just really don’t want to be stuck here for any longer than I have to. I’m sure I’ll study enough for the final (and i intend to), but still. PS I wish it wasn’t so hard to “just do” things I don’t look forward to/don’t want to do. Plus the “Panic Monster” stress, while it gets the job across the finish line, is very unpleasant.

I got diagnosed with autism recently and I think I’m still feeling imposter syndrome. I also keep thinking that maybe I’m just making excuses and I should try and push myself to do more. Basically it feels like my brain can only cope with one big thing at a time, so for example I am studying part time this year at university (only two courses) because I can’t even cope with full time study. I wasn’t working alongside this and I’m still living with my parents but I sort my own laundry, cooking and shopping and solely care for my dog. Yet even the part time study was only *just* manageable for me, and I let many other things slip that I needed to get done. Now I’ve started a job that is WFH and only a few hours a week but I don’t think it’s the right job for me, it’s quite draining and feels too fast paced. Trying to do these few hours of work alongside studying and my other responsibilities of just caring for myself and my dog has felt really overwhelming and I feel completely drained. Do others get this? I don’t understand why I can’t seem to cope with having multiple commitments at the same time, it’s really frustrating. And I even see other autistic people doing more than me and I’m just wondering am I just exaggerating or something. But in the past pushing myself has led to a bad burnout. All I can describe it as is feeling like I’ve got all these things I have to keep track of and remember and it feels impossible, like I guess it feels like I’m carrying one heavy box and each extra commitment is another heavy box and soon enough my arms can’t take the weight and I crash. **TL;DR** I feel like my brain can only cope with one big commitment at one time (work, uni etc). I feel overwhelmed and burnout doing even part time study or work. Does anyone else feel the same?

Hello all, my name is James. I am a 23 year old guy living in Toronto, Canada. Having been diagnosed at an early age I have had many experiences that were influenced by my condition. I moved to Canada from the U.K when I was 9 yrs old and started grade 4 fresh. However, what I immediately noticed is that the school system here treats you very differently in Canada than it does in England. In England the approach is to integrate the student in a normal classroom environment with an 'assistant' that is there to help you out or if for example you get distracted they get you back on track. However, in Canada the system I found is dramatically worst. Here the solution is to more or less isolate you from the regular classroom environment and keep you in your own classroom among other children all of whom have been diagnosed with some learning disability. Looking back at this system, I believe this to be a massive disadvantage to the small group of students with learning challenges. When you take an individual whom already has challenges socializing and isolate. How on earth is that meant to help the student be successful? Now I could be wrong, are these just my personal experiences with a poor education system or is this more of an systemic issue that need to be addressed? If you would like to detail your experice in school and how Asperger's impacted you, I look forward to hearing from you. Thank You.

Hi all, I've managed to start acknowledging my thoughts as intrusive and even divorcing emotion from them. But now my logical brain is pondering them. For instance in x taboo practice, would this part or sensation be pleasant. I've tried to shut it down by saying, if anyone does seek pleasure in that way, they are wrong and should be duly punished, but I don't even want to contemplate it. But my brain hates unanswered questions :( Edit: word

Hi! I’ve been on Lexapro for almost 7 years now. About 2 years ago, I decided to add Wellbutrin to my regime as I was beginning to feel very apathetic, and I was still very fatigued all of the time. The WellB worked – it’s given me much more energy, and though I still have my bouts of melancholy and passivity, it’s much much easier for me to feel motivated and do things. I am on 15mg of Lex and 75mg of WellB. However, I do have a couple of side effects from the latter, which are bearable and which I am fine living with: hand tremors, and shakiness when I get extra nervous. I should mention I also have GAD. Having been on WellB for a while now, I’m wondering if it’s a good idea to try tapering off Lexapro, and ultimately, stopping it altogether. My main concern is that my anxiety and overall tremors would worsen without Lexapro to “complement” the energy giving effects of WellB. I have also read that WellB alone is not as effective a treatment for depression, but I don’t know if that is true. I’d like to hear from anyone who’s had a similar regime, and what your experience was like. Thank you all.

I'm on a phone so sorry for bad grammar! I don't know how to feel about this situation, but I need your thoughts. And please, when you comment, try to address all or at least most of the things I'm saying here. I [20 years old male] had unwanted thoughts about having sex with my older sister [24 years old woman] a long time. I felt really dirty for a long time, but lately I managed to cope with that and I managed to have normal interactions with my sister, without having my thoughts disrupting my day. I still have an occasional thought, but it didn't affected me as much as it used to do. But I just did something that disturbed me. When I was leaving my sister's apartment, she was near me while I put my jacket and, because I did that to see if I have any reaction, I watched her breast and I though it looked nice (she wasn't naked). And I watched a couple of seconds without her noticing. When I left, I felt really bad again. I thought to myself that I'm might become a creep. I swear I never had a anybkind of fantasies about her and I never wanted to had sex with her, and I have NEVER regreted that I'm not able to do that with her. But I think I might had enjoyed watching for a moment until I realised what I was doing. I can't believe I've done this. I've always had a close relationship with my sister to the point where we are rarely arguing and we support each other. The thing is, I always though she looks nice in general. But I'm really afraid for this thoughts not to come frome a place of sexual desire. Especially for what happened. But, she has a boyfriend and I'm really proud for her and I really support her and I've never felt jealous. But I also never had a girlfriend, so that's where those thoughts are coming from? I'm really getting anxious every time I meet her because ai think of having thoughts again. I really feel like an huge asshole for what happened. I think I might one day destroy the great sibling relationship that we worked on for 20 years. My sister doesn't deserve that. She deserves a brother that can't even think about doing something like that with her! That can protect her! I'm starting to think I'm not that brother anymore.