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AnuradhaPoddar

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i was with my abusive ex seven times in eight years. i finally got out may of this year. my brain is having a really hard time understanding how i could ever recover and heal and grow from eight years of trauma. so. please, tell me how you’ve changed from eight years ago to now. or what could happen eight years from now. i think this might be a good exercise for those, like myself, who struggle to realize how so many negative things can happen in x amount of time but also how so many positive things can happen in the same amount of time.

Someone told me today that the LED light in one of their gaming mice irritates them with the frequency it emits and I've never been more understood by a person in my whole life. It's too easy to feel like you're all alone when you can't get anyone to understand. It was really nice to come across someone with whom for a few minutes I could have some common ground and not feel so weird and by myself.

I’m a female in my 30’s. I have a diagnosis of PTSD (I suspect autism as well) after seeing a counselor who works with people who suffer from Trauma but she does NOT specialize in Autism and has a very ableist view on ASD. She told me trauma and autism symptoms are too similar but she thinks I’m not autistic because I can finish tasks and I have an artistic talent where I’m able to finish an art piece. Autistic couldn’t do those things, according to her. She claimed autistics avoid certain situations completely. So she is very uneducated. My trauma occurred in my childhood from being in a war. First I got extremely traumatized by a jet that flew right over my house while I was outside. Then months after I got locked in a child care facility and I injured both arms with cuts by breaking the glass doors to escape. This is about 30 years ago. I ‘outgrew’ the symptoms like nightmares and mutism before my teenage years. But I spent my whole life a loner, selective mutism, couldn’t show affection. Didn’t fit in groups. Hated any out of the ordinary events at school and team building. I was a day dreamer. Imagined relationships. Spent a lot of time drawing. But I still struggle with things that make me believe I could be on the autism spectrum and therefore had such a harsh traumatic response to a noise of a jet. Especially after my daughter got diagnosed with Autism. I started research and could relate. I didn’t know anything about Autism before that so I never bothered to find a reason for why I am the way I am. My parents never discussed mental health. But my father displays autistic traits as well. I’m looking for some advice and I would like to know if someone who has been exclusively diagnosed with PTSD or C-PTSD can relate to my traits/symptoms. I can’t call my husband by his first name. Not once in 16 years. I can’t call my parents mom and dad. I can’t call my husbands parents by name or make proper eye contact. This weighs heavily on me. There’s a couple words I don’t say say in front of my husband. Weird, I know. I feel uncomfortable returning hugs and never initiate them. I can’t show affection. Uncomfortable about eye contact. Family gatherings or any change in my daily routine gives me extreme anxiety. I can’t eat, I shake and get headaches. I have no friends. Don’t do small talk well. I can’t always read if I’m welcomed. If someone is tired, annoyed or upset. My special interest I had since early childhood I get a lot of positive feedback for but it causes often distress due to my perfectionism issues. When I have to finish something I forget time, my basic needs and that’s very draining at times. I put my all into it. Very detail oriented. I’ve always had one narrow specific subject. I have no career even though I wasn’t a bad student. Got laid off for being too slow and in my thoughts. Bad at verbal commands. I am very sensitive to bright lights, loud noises like tv and everyone talking at once. And severe aversions to synthetic smells. I always overthink, second guess, remorse over everything and can’t let things go. I am bad at regulating my emotions. I have a lot of fears still like worries about my kids. I am shocked easily and all that. So I do have ptsd, no doubt. But all these other issues. Not looking for a diagnosis here. But are those all common PTSD problems? Also I am generally a happy person despite all those problems I have. I am happily married and have amazing children. My second born was diagnosed with Autism at the age of 2. So, do people who suffer from PTSD live a fairly relaxed and happy life or are you completely alert and on your toes all the time? I’m desperately trying to distinguish these things since I didn’t get a chance to see a real neuropsychologist yet.

im never hungry anymore. i feel sick all the time. ive barely eaten anything today but i just took a few bites and i just physically cant eat anymore. can this be because of my ptsd? anybody else experience this?

Guys if you had OCD for a long time , have you ever noticed that your other day to day life decisions are effected? Whenever I need to take a decision I always start doubting myself and start thinking about that subject like crazy even though that's not part of my OCD. other examples are if i watched an important video, i will constantly revisit it after a few minutes multiple times even though I fully remember the content. This kind of stuff is annoying and isn't as detrimental as other Intrusive thoughts i have, but do you think they are cause by the OCD?

My upper teeth have shattered like glass and are currently rotting into my upper skull and nasal cavity. I lost everything to hurricane ida. Fema refused me, government aid turned me down, dentist refuses to see me without being able to pay... I've been unemployed since the Covid-19 outbreak. I lost unemployment benefits when louisiana stopped them in june 2021. I have no family, no friends, no one to help me due to being in a near suicidal depression since 2003. I cant even see a therapist to help with that. I've tried reaching out to anyone/everyone, including celebrities and musicians. all my cries for help have gone ignored. I will die of sepsis within a few months if i cannot receive aid for treatments. I went to the ER and was immediately thrown out, being told to see a dentist. I'm out of options and low on time. It seems like this world wants me to die. I already dont exist to anyone... someone please... help...

Hi all! I wasn't sure how better to phrase the title, but what I'm trying to ask is does taking a stimulant make your ADHD worse when you're not on it? I was watching a PsychedSubstance video on YouTube and he (while yes, I know this isn't the best source, but it gave me a curiosity for the concept) mentioned how his ADHD got worse when he wasn't medicated, after he had taken it for the first time, IIRC. Is this a thing? I tried to do some research but didn't know what to search for. Any key words for a google search, sources/articles, or otherwise (preferably cited, though I'm open to anecdotal) input would be greatly appreciated!

I’m trying to not mask my adhd symptoms anymore so I am more honest with people about who I am. The problem is that when I do this I tend to immediately tell them very personal things about myself such as the meds I’m on. Growing up my mom always criticized the way I talked to people and I think this has contributed greatly to my anxiety. She always told me that it would be weird to share certain things with others and it just never made sense to me. I have a friend I’m not very close to who told me she goes to therapy. My mom would find it very odd to disclose to people you’re not very close to that you go to therapy. I don’t see what’s so wrong in that so do I just not get something that others do? I’m questioning the entire way I was brought up.

I have for the longest time now been suspecting that I have ADHD but never was diagnosed about it just yet. I have appointments to do that next month, obviously, but yeah. It is what it is for now. A reason (among other ten thousand other reasons) I think I have ADHD is that I have a very bad time-management issue. Many times I've been late to important appointments, and also many times I have missed out on important dates like my final exams in schools and what not. Anyway, today was my graduation party and we were having the local newspaper taking photos of the whole class. The party started at 1030 but I didn't know when the newspaper would come so me, living 30 mins away by walk from the venue, was at home getting ready. Around 1015 I thought I still have time to ride the bike because it takes only 15 minutes to there with it, I continued doing my make up, fixing myself up for the party. I got to the venue at 1045 or so, the picture was taken, everyone was already seated and started eating. All looking very surprised to see me being there. One asked when did I arrive because I was always late to class like 15 minutes or so. Then I went for a haircut which I impulsively booked the other day, and that costed a lot for a haircut I don't even like. I got home, I was a little bit annoyed by missing out on the photo thing, but I continued with my day. But now I'm actually very sad about this and it makes me think a lot about my life. I actually missed out having a memory taken photographically because I cannot make it on time for anything to save the damn life of me. I mean, it is just a photo I guess, but since I work with patients who have dementia - photographs are important, super important. I'd like to be able to look at this newspaper article, with my face one day, and say, "Hey, look, despites all the odds of being late to everything and missing deadlines, I actually managed to finish that education!" It was supposed to be a very good and happy day... But, no. I messed it up. I'm super depressed now actually. I feel really sad. I cannot get rid of this feeling and thought either and so I've become annoyed and irritated with everything because I am so focused on me missing out on this. :-(

I'm a massive overthinker and it's really gotten worse the last few years but it has always been there. The times when I don't overthink are the times when I do the best creatively, academically and also emotionally. DAE overthink here?

Hi all, Diagnosed with PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder. Have any of you had tingling in your hands or feet, cramping or numbness? I haven't tried any meds for anything as of yet but, I am considering CBD oil. Thanks for any input.

So in a lot of social skills training... it's like: * If they're angry they'll show this and that. * If they happy they'll do this and that... But in the DATING GAME, that's not how it works. It doesn't follow rules, it does follow the "SKILLS" playbook a lot of the time. * Women/men might say "I hate you repeatedly", when in fact they're not fighting. * Women/men play games. They might ignore you a bit. * Women/men could talk to you a lot, then ghost you. * They may "insult you", for fun, and then show you respect if you have the guts to insult them back playfully, and then be nice again. Apparently they call that "**banter**". * In the skills playbook it says "If somethings up, text them again, some time later again". But in the dating game, apparently that's the "**Killer double text of insecurity"** * ***ALSOOO,.... DATING might be tiring, you might have autistic burnout.. but to someone dating you, they might think ... "OH so they might not be so interested in me after all".***

Life is terrible cant focus to anyting, and this situation become even worse in the most important year of my life, I will fail, thats certain, but then? What will happen? become a robot or a homeless? İs there even a another option? I always wanted to be a animator but its a very hard and drawing the same scene again and again all day is so hard for focus, always get distracted by something and dont forget I give 0 guarantee about anyting, some days I become a really good worker, make smart and great stuff but times like this is rare, and mostly cant find motivation for work and of course mess up terribly, I am a idiotr who cant create creative stuff, focus to anyting, work with great productivity or anyting else good. I am simply not suitable for this life and totaly useless, Goodbye? Maybe.

Ever since my traumatic event my favourite genre switched from horror to comedy over night. Its not just typical gore stuff either i can no loner watch, any psychological thrillers or anything eery with jump scares etc. I went from watching American Horror Story to My Little pony! I was telling my fiancé that that just kinda stuff isn't fun for me. It just scares me. He said "they're scary, but it's a fun kinda fear, yknow?" And I realised that I no longer feel that "fun kinda fear" anymore. Either I think I'm in immediate danger of impending mortal doom, or I don't. Huh. Anyone else?

HELP.. I’ve been having really bad ptsd attacks since before the corona virus isolation started but now its worse. and mom does quite understand them fully. Like I tried to explain I need her full attention when it happens like she can’t watch tv and ignore me and go on her phone because it makes me feel neglected and she just got mad and was like “i need something to do to I’m bored sitting here waiting for you to calm down” or “my life has been turned upside trying to help you it’s insulting when you say you’re not getting help” and she has done a lot for me and does legit everything by herself cause she’s a single parent and we’re poor. but I didn’t think that was asking too much I just need her when I panic but the more attacks I’m having the more I realize she will never be able to help me or fully understand. And that makes me really sad and feel alone but what else can I do. Absolutely nothing. Honestly it’s been really hard I keep wanting to self harm but ik that if I do it will make me worse so idk anymore.. um help ?

I’ve been struggling with depression for a while now (luckily I finally got to see a psychiatrist and my new medication seems to be helping!) and I work remotely as a graphic designer. I took off this past week because of thanksgiving and I realized I felt better. Obviously still depressed but I was able to take better care of myself and find a tiny bit of enjoyment. I am horrified to realize that I think my job is contributing negatively to my mental health and I’m dreading going back. I feel like I’ve lost my passion for this field and I feel like I’m doing a worse job. The need to be creative and then having my work constantly judged feels so crushing. Im not sure what to do to make things better and it’s especially painful given how much work and time I’ve put in to get to this place in my career. I don’t even know what I would do instead. If anyone has an advice or has had experience with this (especially in a creative field) it would be great to hear.

I'm a 22 yo female. Sorry for the grammar mistakes, english is not my first language. I think I may have adhd, before the pandemic I had a lot of strategies that help me a lot in school and life in general but now after the pandemic I'm failing at online school and I can't seem to acomplish anything in my life. I feel like I'm always so over the place and I'm so stressed because I don't end or even start anything but I just can't help it. I've talk with some close people about me thinking I have adhd and no one believes me, everyone things I'm exagerating and that I probably don't have that but I tell you everyday i been struggling so so much. I told a friend of mine that studies psycology about my problem and that I wanted to go with someone that could help me know if I have adhd or not and she asked her teachers if they knew about someone and then gave me a number of a neurologist. Today I made an appointment, it's really expensive but I really want to know. As I said everyone takes it as a joke, literally no one believes me but I live so frustated and sad with my self for being like this. I sometimes feel like a weirdo. Today I also told one of my best friends that I made the appointment and she just said that she didn't think it was necessary and that she thinks I don't have that. I just want some support... I feel like I can't talk it with anyone because I feel like I'm bothering them...

Everything It seems oka. But when you get too agitated about it, that person pulls back and pretends they don't know you and you suffer. And suffer suffer suffer again.

Hi, so today I have been seeing a psychiatrist, and I told him about my suspicion that I have (inattentive) ADHD & my symptoms. What makes my case a bit tricky is that I was a really gifted kid with outstanding capabilities when it came to maths, logic & language. On top of that I had great coping mechanisms and I got through school pretty well despite never paying attention in class, having zero motivation, ... So after I had said everything, my psychiatrist told me:"You actually fit pretty well into the ADHD criteria, except for one thing: You function too well. If you actually had ADHD, there is no way you wouldn't have had to repeat a year in school, there's no way you wouldn't have had bad grades, there's no way your teachers wouldn't have called your parents ..." Granted, he still sent me to ADHD testing, but in my city, there is rarely ADHD testing especially for adults. So I am afraid I run into the same statement again: "You function too well." I mean what do I say? I have seen countless people on here that became doctors and stuff despite having ADHD, but I don't think a professional will see statements from people on Reddit as an argument. How do I convince a psychologist/psychiatrist that I got through school thanks to being gifted & having good coping mechanisms, and make it clear to them that doesn't mean I don't have ADHD?

How many else have heard this phrase uttered again and again? Like it's up to us?

I can’t cry. Even if I feel I want to. I’ve cried only for really really sad events in my life. I would love to cry sometimes, when I feel it. But I can’t. Do you have the same issue? Why it happens?

But are they going to give me the energy to fight it? Are they going to provide the financial support while I try to find the right answer? Didn’t think so. I am currently juggling the decision because I’m so depressed I cannot mentally/physically continue my job, and without my job, I have no home or food. Without a home, without food, I might as well just do it now.

I guess I have high functioning depression. I wake up early every morning work 10 hour shifts 5 days a week, come home cook enjoy dinner with my loving fiance, cuddle with our pets, catch up on Netflix. I dont have constant suicide thoughts anymore. I'm content with my life and where I'm at. I'm engaged, I have a great job that I like and enjoy, I have all the pets I have always wanted, I have a small office/craft space I was always wanted. I'm almost done paying of my first dealership car. I make good money. I have my own space that I rent with my fiance. I have everything I have worked so hard to achieve and yet I feel like I'm missing something? However there is times where I crave my depression episodes that I used to have. Ie: not showering for days just earing junk food and laying I the couch in the darkness as I wastched sad shows and cried and felt lonely and I felt like shit. Is it weird that I miss that? Idk I guess I might just have mommy issues. Idk

I had a flare up of an intrusive thought I didn't think I could have. Before I left for therapy, I thought my place was going to explode if I left, I think it was because of a certain way I did the laundry, which wasn't the usual way. I'm not sure why but I thought that way but it subsided about halfway through therapy. I did have another thought about the door not being locked even though I locked it. I don't want to relapse any of my OCD symptoms at all. It's crazy to me that I had a really terrifying intrusive thought today. If I stayed home instead of going anywhere today, then my OCD would have won over me. It was still painful to have the thought in my head when I left for therapy. I don't think it should happen again.

His PTSD and TBI, combined with alcoholism, has turned him into a man I do not recognize. We use to go hunting, fishing, camping and numerous other father-son activities. In the last four years, it’s changed. We constantly argue, never do activities or just talk without arguing. I miss the man he use to be. Within the past year alone I’ve caught him cheating on my mom, been called plenty of names, been blamed for his problems, and, most recently, bailed him out of jail. He’s constantly invalidates my feelings, saying how what I’ve experienced isn’t as bad as what he has experienced. It’s true, I haven’t been on a battlefield, but he said this to me two weeks after I found my grandfather who had bled out from an unidentified medical emergency. When I caught him cheating, he blamed everyone but him. Before he was arrested, he called me and told me how he wanted me to listen as he blew his brains out. He told me how much he hates me. Called me every name under the sun. I don’t know how I can deal with this much longer. I’m only 23 but often feel like I’m his father, not his son. I just wish I had my dad back.

...That nobody truly liked you, thought you were bright or funny back in high school; and that all of your friends, staff members, aquantences and other colleagues were merely either patronizing you for being a retarded, inbecilic subhuman piece of waste, or laughing at you/sarcastically liking you through the entirety of your adolescence? I sure as fucking bloody hell do.

I lie every time someone asks me if I am all right. I say yes. I know nobody means it, they just ask out of courtesy. But I wonder what if someone did asked me twice. Looking deep into my eyes if they ask me again if I am alright. How I would just break down there. Fall down to the floor to collect my broken pieces. It’s been long now. I don’t even want to collect them. What’s the use. Why build myself just to be broken down again. No motivation to wake up. Nothing to look forward to. Can’t focus on anything, without getting anxiety attacks. And something in my stomach eats me up from inside while my chest aches just below my heart cavity. And I push my face in pillow tears streaming down my face till they dry up. Anything triggers memories and the waterworks follow. Does anyone else also cry while they drive?

A decade later and I just realized today how damaging being yelled at by my parents was. If my younger siblings cried, my parents would yell at me even if I was far away from my siblings and didn’t do anything to them. I stayed in my room often so I wouldn’t get in trouble for something they fabricated in their heads when my siblings cried. If I said the wrong thing, things were taken away, grounded, or I was met with a slap. I was a quiet child, I always tried my best to stay out of trouble. When my parents divorced, they both yelled or argued at me trying to convince me to be on their side and that the other parent was bad. Parents fought with yelling matches, one would be drunk and chase the other and fall on stairs, knock over dressers in anger. If I spoke back, no matter what I said they would get even more mad and even more louder. I blame them for why I’ve always felt like I have no voice and for why I freeze. Today my partner made plans with friends even though we already had plans together. I told him we already have plans and he got mad asking me “Should I call to cancel with them then?!” And I just couldn’t say a word. I felt almost like I was choking. I was trying not to cry or to move. I felt like ‘maybe if I say nothing he’ll stop.’ He kept asking me why I wasn’t saying anything and why I was ignoring him, that it was really annoying him. After maybe 30 minutes we were going where we had planned to go and I finally broke out of it and cried. We parked and he said we could sit there for however long I needed. I was able to start talking after I calmed down a bit and tried explaining how he was upsetting me and that if he accidentally makes other plans all he has to do is call his friends and apologize to them that he forgot he already had plans for today. He sometimes would speak in a tone that I perceived as an angry tone which made me cry again and I had a flash of how my parents would speak to me like that. I said “I wasn’t ignoring you. Idk what the term is but I think what’s been happening is I freeze when faced with an argument or yelling because of the paragraph above. He stopped and realized, apologizing a bunch. I’m glad he finally understands. All in all, how do you overcome a freeze response? I don’t have money for therapy.

I was recently diagnosed with MDD and a binge eating disorder. I haven’t disclosed this to anyone besides my boyfriend, who has been very supportive of my mental health and understanding of my bad and good days. However, as a person who does not really have any other friends, I find it quite difficult to look forward to the following days. I am not open with my family, so they are not knowledgeable of me attending therapy or my diagnoses, which makes it kind of difficult as I’m struggling to pretend to be okay everyday until I’m able to decompress at night time when I’m by myself, therefore, it tends to hit harder. I lose sleep, over analyze, and wake up to work a 8-5 the following day. What are some ways that have worked for you guys to take care of yourself and help with falling asleep at night? I feel bad, because I rely on my boyfriend to help me during my depressive episodes at night. However, I recognize he is not my therapist, and try to be act okay with him at times too, which makes the depressive episodes harder as well.

I will be having my appointment with an OCD therapist son and I want to ask for advice. Would it be wise to tell them my intrusive thoughts You know, the thoughts that are erotic, violent and such. I've read some posts about therapy helping a lot but some others said it didn't I'm very secretive with my thoughts, intentions, ambitions, etc and I want to open up to help others help me but I don't want it to back fire.

I would love to hear suggestions on which supplements to take for anxiety/depression? Post-surgical trauma (January 2021) combined with an abusive ex-spouse (2010-2015) has left me with PTSD with a moderate level of anxiety 24/7. I was prescribed .5mg Klonopin (I only take a half pill at most, nightly) to get to- and through surgery – and the subsequent panic attacks that ensued nightly from mid January until about Mid-april. I was prescribed Lexapro 10mg around month 3 post op – and was warned several times by my MD that this may increase symptoms of anxiety for a bit. This was enough to terrify me; because there was NO way I could imagine them getting worse. I’ve only been taking 5mg per night, since. I have intrusive thoughts, think of worse case scenario in all situations, and just am a generally anxious person (I have been all my life). I am in therapy. I would like to know any/all suggestions for non-prescription supplements. Thank you all in advance.

I have contamination OCD and my main ritual is washing hands which is pretty basic... except I’m allergic to most soaps until I finally got a brand of soap I could use without having a terrible rash.... and then Covid happened and the soap was sold out for a few months my hands still haven’t completely recovered and I hate it (sorry for bad punctuation I’m lazy)

I’m high right now after having one of the worst / best weeks of my life. I say the worse because of situations that occurred, experiences that weren’t pursued. It occurred to me that I had the blues, which I described to myself as the music of depression. I say this because it talks about those situations that would get you into the blues. But enough of that. I seriously want to disappear and escape this life I’m living. To have a fresh reset off in another state. Another country! To be able to forget everything that used to be me. To close my eyes and wake up in a new place. It’s so dark right now and so many close to me are in that same dark place inside themselves. I think to myself, “will we all survive?, come out the other end of the pool?”. I’m going down, deep deep down.

Over the years, I have read stats about our higher suicide and unemployment rates, lower life expectancy rates and our higher stress levels (all stats are) compared to neurotypicals. But, I am concern about blaming the spectrum for my mistakes and problems, as being high functioning means my ASD is prob just barely there (or am I underestimating how serious high functioning Autism can still be) Does the stats above about life expectancy and all that enough to convince my Asian families and friends that I do have struggles that are exclusively because of being in the spectrum and not just me having problems that barely exists?

As a younger child I was diagnosed with aspergers. I'm currently in my junior year of high school, and I just moved across the country and this is my first year at my new school. Even at my old school, I didn't really have many friends. The friends I had were really just from a nearby daycare that lots of kids from my old district went to during the summer when we were younger, when it was so much easier even even someone like me to make friends. i'm worried about my social life and in turn well-being from having no friends now. I have tried alot, but starting conversation and maintaining it has always been impossibly difficult for me. I don't really know what to do, and the fear of life-long social-emotional solitude can really fuck me up sometimes.

I was recently diagnosed and prescribed medication. I’ve struggled with diet and exercise my entire life. I can lose weight through diet alone, but I want to start exercising. I find it EXTREMELY difficult to find the motivation to do so though! I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome as well, so I can’t do high impact exercise like running or swimming. What’s helped you establish an exercise routine? Any suggestions on what to do?

I'm currently staying at home and not wanting to leave the house (or my room, really) because of contamination OCD. Does anyone have ideas of things to do when you're bored that are 'safe' (aka encountering as little germs as possible) that aren't watching TV/movies or cleaning? Thanks!

EDIT NEVER MIND GUYS I DONT WANNA KMS I LOVE LIFE ITS SO GREAATTT OMG GOMG OMG EVERYTHING IS SO GOOOD YOU WILL SEE THE LOGHT TA THE END OF THE TUNNEL I LOVE YOU PEOPLE LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE APPRECIATED BY MEEEE 💗💗💗

What’s it like? I have OCD, just not pure o. I have compulsions and intrusive thoughts but for those of your with pure o do you mind just telling me a ur your experiences? Maybe like how do you think it compares to people with other forms of OCD?

I was being "confronted" in a very loud and vocal way, but they would say it isn't yelling, but I would, but they say it wasn't so I'll say confronted. Loudly and harshly and a lot of pressure with repeated questions in a very intense way. The complaint itself wasn't a big deal but I struggled with the confrontation so much that I ended up not being able to speak, stammering my words, and shaking. They were "confronting" and getting more angry because I couldn't respond. I could not mentally think to respond with anything. I felt completely mentally blocked. After they were done, I was supposed to be cooking dinner but I instantly could not think or properly figure out how to cook dinner or just think at all, so I crouched down and covered my ears just to try to get some quiet so I could think and try to act normal. Edit: For the sake of background information, yes, I am an abuse survivor.

Hello all, I (21F) have a friend (21F) who has just been freed from unspeakable abuse that I won’t discuss here, and has to deal with the ongoing aftermath. She is already going to therapy, which is great, but she needs a lot of outside support. I want to be able to help her, but most times I feel as if I’m making matters worse, rather than better. I would like some advice on how to support someone with ptsd without constantly triggering or upsetting them. I would like to mention that we live 5 hours apart, so I can’t physically see her right now, but will in the near future. I still want to support her from afar, however. In particular, I would like advice on these matters: 1. I feel as if I have to walk on eggshells in order to not say or do something upsetting. When I upset her, naturally, she wants to avoid me, which hurts my heart. What can I do to avoid triggers which I’m not even sure what all triggers her? 2. Lately she has been having bad flashbacks and anxiety. In her words, she would be in a ‘trance’ and stuck with these thoughts until an outside sound snapped her out of it. Is there any way I can help when she gets like this? Is there anything she can do? TIA.

I have a lot of substance abuse problems due to my compulsions and trying to live with them. I’m really excited and hopeful but also nervous for this appointment. Just writing this and knowing there are others who have gone through the same thing already helps. Thanks to you all.

Its been a hard, long year of tiring, snails-pace progress of becoming happier. I still have bad days, most of mine arent great. Even though my paranoia is still very much intense, and I dont leave the house very often, Im finding that Im in such a different mindset from when I first left my abuser. Today, I baked some bread, brushed my teeth, and worked on my botanic self-study. Made myself lunch and dinner, and stayed active. I didnt finish cleaning my kitchen, I cried a lot, and spent more time watching YouTube than I should have. Im not even an adult yet but I feel like Ive learnt a lot of grown up sorts of lessons. My days arent perfect, but there were more happy moments today than there was a year ago. I hope everyone here takes every little step in the right direction, towards happiness, with a pat on the back. I understand how hard it is and hope you have some happy times soon.

Hello, i‘ve been together with my girlfriend, who suffers of ptsd for the last several years of her life, for a little over a year now and I love her deeply and care very much for her and her well being. I’ve always been interested in the human psychology and what makes us do what we do, but to understand my girlfriend and her suffering I started reading and researching several books and studies regarding ptsd and the symptoms following but it always hurts me when get to the deeper end of the spectrum, because I always imagine her in these examples. But I still feel like i haven’t gotten to the point where i fully understand every aspect of the illness and what the best thing is that in can do in my Position. Do any of you know a way to learn more about it without always associating everything with my girlfriend ? Or any other helpful tips in my situation? I’d be thankful for any help Sorry for my English if anything is spelled weird, I’m no native.

Hi! So, I do a lot of backtracking when I do compulsions. But I always hear about stuff like counting, washing hands, and doing things a certain amount of times. (I do some of those things too), but I never hear people talk about backtracking! Is it a common thing? Anyway, please respond!

Does anyone here self-medicate with caffeine pills e.g. Vivarin? Is it sustainable and have you felt any side effects? I’m 22, working my way through a tough semester in college. If I don’t catch up with coursework soon I’m afraid suicidal ideas will get worse. I’ve tried different antidepressants but hated feeling mentally slower. I’m considering taking caffeine pills daily because coffee just isn’t enough anymore. Would appreciate any advice.

I’m supposed to be getting the vaccine today but I’m scared af because I’ve convinced myself this is the start of the zombie apocalypse and I’ve I get it I’ll turn into a zombie in a few months. I know that sounds dumb as fuck but zombies have been an extreme fear of mine for years. Like I used to be so terrified of being attacked by a zombie that anytime I’d come home after dark I’d gather all my things and have my keys ready to put directly into the door , I practiced a lot so that it would only take me one try. I’d be sure to shut my car door as quite as I could then walk fast to the door. I wouldn’t lock my car until I was inside my house with the door locked so that the horn beeping wouldnt attract one to run over to me. And that if I needed to I’d be able to get back into my car quickly if a zombie appeared before I could make it into the house. I know it sounds idiotic but I can’t help my brain is still making me freak out about it. I wanna cancel my appointment but I feel like I can’t because my MIL made it for me and she works at the hospital and I don’t want to make her look bad or anything.

Hi I’ve never posted before. I’m a teen girl with OCD (mostly pure o) and lately I’ve been kind of overthinking my sexual and romantic identity. I’ve been questioning for four years and nothing applies to me on any spectrum. The moment I actually land on something, I find a new piece of evidence that completely changes my point of view and I have to restart my soul-searching journey. I know I should just sit in the uncertainty but I've been doing that for four years and it's pretty awful. So as a questioning kid with ocd, I was wondering how do other people come to terms with their relationship and sexuality uncertainty in a world where there are so many labels that you can’t fit perfectly? Also another question: with this uncertainty, I question whether I'm aromatic, or whether it's my OCD and fear stopping me from feeling certain things in order to "keep me in line" and never hurt a possible partner. I don't mind being single but my OCD (maybe ADHD too if I have it idk) keeps fixating on my sexual and romantic life and it's so annoying because everything seems to constantly be contradicting itself. so yeah if any actual aro people with ocd have any advice let me know

Since I've been diagnosed, getting treatment & therapy & meds 6mos ago, my familial relationships are crumbling away. I'm not playing the roles that have been expected of me my entire life. The old buttons they pushed don't work anymore. I'm happier & more content & self-confident than I've ever been. They're saying they don't understand what my problem is. We're mutually ghosting each other. Some are saying that I'm an asshole now. Thing is, I don't care how they feel, because they've never really cared how their actions affected me. Am I some kind of monster for finally standing up for myself & exercising self-care?

Um... Hi. I don't know where else to go to about this. i don't have anyone else to talk about it with. I've gone through quite a bit of things in the past and we don't know where to go. Somewhere where people can understand. Talking with a therapist is different. My PTSD has me feeling like i'm drowning and no matter how hard I try i can't seem to catch my breath. I don't know what this forum is exactly for but yeah... I figured I might as well give this a shot.

**TL;DR:** How does a parent go about getting their adult/near-adult children (18M, 16F) diagnoses if they want them? **Context:** I'm a 44 year old US-based IT professional, husband, and father of two. I got my own ADHD diagnosis earlier this year, though I'd suspected I had it for several years prior to that. It took a solid year for me to navigate the mental health care system (such as it is) and graduate from my PCP saying "you probably don't have ADHD, but here's some Adderall if you want to try it" to a mental health professional saying "you definitely have ADHD, talk to my peer over here who's a therapist and I'll manage your meds for you." My mental health care provider organization does all of its action online right now - I have regular meetings with both my med manager and therapist via teleconference, and things are going fairly well for me. Getting ADHD diagnosis and treatment for an adult can be opaque and difficult, but there are ways for people to learn how to navigate the system (like r/ADHD!). Getting the same for a young child is a little easier since there are well-established systems for that in the US. (Not *much* easier, but at least there's a path.) My kids are in a bit of a gray area. Getting diagnosis and treatment for older teenagers feels ... really fraught, and I'd love some advice. **The problem (or opportunity!):** As I learned more about ADHD I started to see a lot of hallmark behaviors in my own teenaged kids. Their symptoms weren't/aren't dramatic or disruptive, which is probably why it never occurred to anyone (least of all us) that it was really a problem. I've never brought up ADHD with them in the context of "you might have ADHD," but I do talk openly about my own diagnosis and treatment, and they are observant human beings. I think they see how things have changed for me for the better in the past year. They also have access to the internet and can do their own research re: symptoms, coping mechanisms, etc. My daughter (**16F**) talks openly with me about how this-or-that difficulty for her is an ADHD symptom. E.g., being intensely interested in a new career field for about a week and then discarding it, or wanting to do *everything* under the sun (sing professionally! work with AI! volunteer overseas!) and yet not actually pursuing those dreams. She excels at school, but only when it's interesting to her; every other "useless" high school thing is a dreadful, impossible task. I think she's essentially diagnosed herself, but she has said fairly clearly she's not interested in meds. My son (**18M**) asked me just yesterday how he could go about getting a diagnosis. He listed several behaviors that fit the bill: hyperfocus on stimulating pursuits, lack of engagement on things that are "boring," impulsively cleaning the kitchen at 3 a.m., driving too fast all the time (which might just be a symptom of being 18M, who knows). He hasn't given any kind of opinion about medication, though he's aware of my own meds and jokes casually about it being "meth, but prescribed by a professional." **The options:** The way I figure it, we could approach the "let's get diagnosed" problem in one of a couple ways: 1. Go through their primary care physicians 2. Go directly to my own mental health care provider (described above) There may be a third option I'm not thinking of - let me know what I might be missing. 16F is still being seen by her pediatrician, while 18M has recently leveled up into seeing a regular adult doctor. Both are under my insurance for the foreseeable future. Both also trust me well enough with their medical information to supervise their care and have quite a lot of oversight. I *could* help them navigate option 1, but that could take quite a long time, especially given that I don't know those doctors' level of experience when it comes to mental health care in general and ADHD in particular. I don't want the kids to have the same hurdles I did. Option 2 seems like it'd be the more expedient and thorough option, but I feel uneasy about it for reasons I can't articulate. (I won't try to journal that out here - this post has gotten quite long enough.) **Anyway:** Thanks for reading this far along. If you scrolled directly to the bottom after reading the TL;DR, I completely understand! ADHD, you know? I appreciate your thoughts and insights!

I am 24 years old and I started taking ADHD medication 3 months ago. I have always experienced depression episodes all my life. I still experience these episodes since I’ve started taking my meds, so I’m wondering if it is related to ADHD. I am depressed for 1-3 months and happy for 1-2 months. I live in a country where it’s always dark so that might be a big factor. Has anyone experienced this? And if so what has helped you improve your depression?

I was on Ritalin for my whole younger childhood. I was tiered to a pretty high dose. When I became a teenager my body changed and started to develop some pretty terrible health conditions. At one point I started blacking out and passing out cold. After testing and finding nothing to cause this I came off the meds. The passing out and black outs stopped. I also had a terrible time coping and I went from all advanced classes to barely passing basics. 15 years later still struggling. Things are pretty bad. Anxiety and depression are one in the same with my ADHD (inattentive). It's just like I have negative motivation. Memory is beyond terrible. My energy is flatline. Being awake and moving is a good energy day for me. I have so much that has been added to my plate this year though. I was pretty panicked. Failing everything and half passably completing what I could far too late. I was desperate. I had some health issues resolve with medical help (my hormones are FAR more stable now). So I was like forget my medication trauma I know Ritalin works, let's give it a try and hope for no symptoms. I started this week. I'm currently on 2.5 mg 2x a day. Had to cut back from 5 mg (that tripped me out high as a kite). It's like the opposite of these past 15 years. Someone freaking lit a candle in my soul again. I cried listening to music on Tuesday. It was so beautiful and pure. It felt good. Drawing felt good. Things I used to enjoy feel good to do. My emotions are, well, there. I swear colors are brighter and smells better. My appetite is better than ever. (Drinking water like a race horse, geeze didn't remember the thirst issue.) My motivation is 1,000% better. I'm just doing things without mentally performing self-flagellation. I still have my walls of awful. But I actually WANT to try to climb them. I WANT to have a better existence. I still have ADHD, but chemically my dopamine is actually in existence now 😂. This was that thing I needed so I could use my coping mechanisms and things I've learned. No supplementation or nootropic I've used works like this. Though they are helping to balance out the dopamine fountain I got going on in my brain now. (Feel free to post your stack to help with your medicine). Panax Ginsing and B complex have helped with the down and just started L-Tryptophan Petide along with my melatonin and Valerian at night. Things are looking up. I'm proud of myself for seeing the writing on the wall, and realizing I was in a bad place. And talking to my doctor (also extremely hard, had some terrible doc experiences) and requesting meds despite my fears and instincts. It paid off. I'm heading in a better direction. Ah well. This was far too long. But pretty therapeutic to write. Thanks if you've read to this point. Far better than I can do on most days 😂😅

It’s been 1 year since I last saw my abuser, when he was banned from the premises. Unfortunately, he hasn’t been prosecuted or even arrested, he’s been on he run and my mom has been covering his tracks. She knows it happened, but resented me for it. I kind of got a double whammy with toxic parents and it had a huge impact on my mental health. I didn’t do anything, I sulked, I felt slower than my classmates, and my grades showed that. But then I had my days where I actually focused, and when I did, I did really well. But after an incident would happen, I just couldn’t focus. I had the “you just need to put in your full potential.” Talk so many times with teachers. I understood, but didn’t perform, so I just believed I was stupid and lazy for the longest time, up until a few weeks ago. A year ago, I moved in with my boyfriend of two years and his parents. They’re not perfect, but a hell of a lot more stable and loving than my old house. It took me a while because of the trust issues from several events. I’ve recently warmed up to everybody and have gotten more comfortable, I love everyone here. I’ve even been going to therapy. For the first time in ever, I feel loved. I’m being all emotional now, but basically, I just got done my first semester of community college after taking a year off. I’m doing liberal arts, so, a lot of the courses are basically classes I took in high school part 2. And, my grades aren’t perfect, one was pretty bad. But, I began to see myself when I was back in elementary-high school. When I tried, I got A’s. But days when my mental health started to get the best of me, I’d just not even care. Yeah, I’ve had a bad track in school, but looking at when I do try, I’ve finally realized that I’m not dumb, I just don’t try sometimes. And I seriously think that has something to do with the fact that I haven’t been in the abusive household I was in for most of my life, for a long time. I’ve just started to see clearer, my vocabulary and understanding of concepts and school work has gotten better, I’m even emotionally smarter. Is this a thing? Or am I just overreacting to growing up? 😂

Mentally, emotionally and physically... im literally tried.. i can't catch a break cause of reason. There's always reasons and if i will be an asshole to get that break suddenly im a bad person.. i don't know what to do or where to go. Im having the feeling that there's no room for me here anymore. And im getting numb in the situation already and im getting the feeling that one day i explode... its the end..

Hi guys, I've been diagnosed with adhd for quite some time now. A massive issue I struggled with was tiredness alot of the time. Like complete lethargy in muscles and general weakness. Sometimes I feel dizzy when getting up from a crouch. I feel the tiredness in my muscles/bones. Something I've noticed is that if I get into a good mood. The pain lethargy and tiredness all disappear. Also whenever I'm feeling tired. I get very depressed no matter how positive I try thinking. If I have a negative thought I shut it down instantly. I often feel complete and utter apathy when I'm in these states. I thought it was sleep but even on 8hr 9 or even 10 hours I still get it. I even eat decently healthy. Taking coffee helps massively but only for like 3 hours or so and doesn't always work. My blood tests have all come back fine. Also do lots of excersize so I'm now just generally tired and need help figuring out what I should do, or if there are others who had this and were able to beat this. Vyvanse hasn't helped, also when I'm in this tired state I feel very stupid and dumb messing up sentences (speech). Feel very self conscious. Any help or advice would be very appreciated. Just feeling exhausted 😪 .

I have been taking Adderall now for several years with overall good results. I am on a very low dose due to my Doctor being very stingy with the add meds. I was on 10/15 mg daily, with different doses available , either 10 or 15, depending on what I felt I needed for the day. So, fast forward to this last year under the rule of current psychiatrist. First, she reduced the level from 15 to 10, with the reason that she thought it better for my heart.?. I suspect she just was not comfortable with my being able to have any control over the levels I could use. So, after several months at this not ok, but it's at least something dose, she started denying my refills with the demand that I needed urine drug screens to go on. I asked- Why? She won't answer, or give me any more details, other than to deny me every month, sometimes has given in and filled, but not without a huge fuss. Now, I am in limbo waiting on a 2 month away appointment with another Psychiatrist, who I was hoping would just continue my refills until they were able to see me. Apparently, the first Psychiatrist has not cut herself off my case, despite my calls to Kaiser to discontinue services with her and start with a new Doctor. The beginning Psychiatrist has tried to brush off my repeated questions about why she wants to drug test me, with the explanation that "It's the law." From all that I have seen, that is not true. I have taken this medication for years before her, with no mention of it, and other adults I know take this without being asked for a drug screen. From what I can find out, it is just at the discretion of the Doctor. Does anyone out there have actual factual knowledge of this? I am in Virginia, that may make a difference. This constant headache over refills has be stressed to my limit, and I really think the Doctor is just trying to make it so hard for me to access care I have already paid for in hopes I will just give up and go away. Thanks, Kaiser!! Anyone have any facts on this? I would really appreciate it, I am feeling like I really need legal representation to drag mental health care out of my "provider."

I just need to get this off my chest because I'm feeling frustrated. So I went to a psychiatrist today to talk about PTSD, ADHD and to ask if I'm maybe possibly on the autism spectrum. In his opinion, pretty much no on ASD. Fine, that's not what's giving me issues I just wanted to know. Problem is, he didn't seem to cotton to the idea that older adults can have ADHD so much, and he seemed to target fixate on anxiety. I have anxiety, sure, but it's pretty much manageable. What isn't manageable is my problematic levels of concentration. But now I'm facing months of therapy for anxiety before they'll even consider medicating for ADHD. I can deal with anxiety, problems with focus not at all. The social worker for the VA who referred me was sure I'd be on meds. Funny thing is I'd have had a prescription for SSRIs today if I agreed, even though they never worked in the past. My daughter has similar issues, and after taking every anxiety med under the sun was finally helped by taking Adderall. Sorry y'all, just needed to vent. Thanks.

First of all i just wanted to let everyone know i have never been good at explaining or writing things or explaining how i feel . so sorry if this doesnt make sense, For as long as i can remember i have struggled with my mental state, from a young age i was pretty much dragged up and went through some shit, I used to be in a life that was pretty much hostile 24/7, did alot of bad things throughout my young and teenage years, i have struggled with anxeity and depression for as long as i remember too but only realised it not so long back as i just thought it was just how life was, Forward many years, alot has changed i have a job a wife a home, steady life, But i am constanly on edge, i never feel safe, i feel like i allways look behind my shoulder, even at home i am allways on guard. I can NEVER relax, i think of the worst case all the time, allways feel i have to stay ready for the worst in any way shape or form, i dont sleep, i hear the slighest noise and im up and alert all the time, its so draining, i allways need to be out the house thinking it will be nice to get out to no where but after 5 mins of leaving the house i want to go back, and the the same cycle keeps going and going, i feel like ive gone insane, Sorry if this is long winded, i just need to get it off my chest as i can not explain this in real life to anyone, If anyone feels the same can you please tell me any coping you use or just to feel like im not.alone with this feeling would be a help Thanks

Been with a new therapist for a year now, and I asked her for a progress report; like did she see any progress? And all she said was "well, you're less guarded". I was kind of hoping for more than that. Pesonally, I don't feel any different. Do you ask your therapist (if you have one) for a progress report? If so, what do they say?

I feel like I’m always trying to calculate a situation. Trying to figure out how to “be”. Given any type of social interaction, I just attempt to analyze the mechanism of the situation -and why it works for people. Like knowing the alphabet but unable to form words— let alone sentences. I’m trying to take those letters of the alphabet and assemble and reassemble into worlds. An “Aha” moment can sometimes occur when you learn a new word. Or chord in music. Everything can be broken down into the simplest yet complex organism or cell. You learn letters (notes), words (chords), phrases (melodies), sentences (verse/chorus), and finally the meaning meant to be conveyed. Songs and any form of conversation are made to get a point across. Comprehending and answering questions with a single word, or sentence can go only so far in overall comprehension. I feel like I know words and phrases of emotional and social intelligence but not how to put them together to make a song. Or I’m hearing someone’s lyrics and interpreting them in a way not meant to be conveyed. I can say a thing or two—or maybe more (depending on the level of interest and knowledge on what’s being said.), but I’ll never really hear the song as a whole to fully understand a message. When all the mental energy is used to hear the song, just to achieve a 20/50 sonic vision (poor vision requiring prescription lenses), the rest of my brain is left to just go with what we’ve got and interpret a meaning which is as unclear as trying to read a road sign in torrential downpour. (Or wearing glasses with a mask on and everything fogs up)—I’m tired of my brain using so much RAM, just to process people and surroundings. This leaves little memory left for all of the other programs I could run. When the RAM is actually working at an acceptable level though, it’s like the computer gets confused and doesn’t understand why it’s actually running well. When it runs well, it can become complacent, and then more RAM is needed to get back to where it was. I want a new computer— with more RAM. I can’t run what I need to on what I have. I’m just ranting and felt the need to just start typing. Thank you to anyone has read. I’m just trying to figure things out and how to find the right people in my life.

She left me because I liked her. We had been in a situationship for a while now and I made the horrible mistake of telling her she meant a lot to me. I told her she helped lift me out of a dark place. She said that that was too much pressure for her and didn't think I could handle/was mature enough for a relationship. Which feels really unfair because before everything I told her I was bipolar and asked if that'd be an issue and she said no. She blamed my "mood swings" and how much I cared. Am I really that unlovable? Like seriously what did I do wrong? I feel so used. Empty. She led me on this whole time with no intention of anything serious. I really don't wanna live. I thought going to bed and waking up would help but it didn't. This hurts so much. Maybe her feelings are valid because I'm reacting like this. I'm just so distraught. I really didn't think I did anything wrong. I just... I really wanna do it. I feel like a danger to myself because every part of me just wants to end it. This hurts so bad man.

i often hear to teat intrusive thoughts you should not interact with them or try and fight them off, but ignore them in the sense of observing them without responding. But with ERP you're meant to approach these thoughts and do the opposite of what they're telling you, which is very much interacting with them.

How does medication work? I just want my thoughts to go away, also with the anxiety. Can thoughts go away when taking medication?

I have about 10k saved (all the money i own) and a job but Iam absolutely terrified of being isolated and lonely again. I cant go on living with my Nsister and Nmother

So, I'm someone that has experienced PTSD, and I'm working on a research project. I know of my experiences with PTSD, but they are not representative of everyone's experiences, since, well, mental health is different for everyone. I was wondering if anyone would be willing to share how PTSD affects/affected them on the daily. I'm looking to show a more 3D, more human experience, than just discussing the symptoms listed in wikipedia. Thank you for your help in advance! I know this is a lot to ask.

Has anyone dealt with your medication making you extremely good at solving various problems at work but bad at interacting with colleagues or leading people? In other words, does your medication make you less assertive, less spontaneous and meek? How do you deal with this side effect? Is this universal with most ADHD medications?

I recently discovered RSD TYLER has aspergers(high profile dating coach). It gave me hope in a sense. If an average looking guy guy with high functioning autism is successful dating why can’t I be? Are there any guys here who had success dating? i.e. multiple GF’s, Casual hookups etc?

Recently I got obsessed with zippo lighters. I love the sounds and feel of those things! Now I kinda use it as a fidget since I don’t smoke but I love those lighters

So in yr9 I put my hand on this guys neck and I just remembered it now and I’m feeling guilty about it!!!!

Hello all! I am currently on 15mg of Adderall XR, which does a solid job of getting me through the 9 to 5 workday. But once I get home, my energy plummets. Even though there are things I want to do, I just can’t. This could be the coming down from the Adderall. Or it could be something unrelated - I have pretty bad insomnia and wake up several times every night, so I never wake up refreshed. I’m also in the process of testing for autoimmune disorders and fibromyalgia, for which fatigue is a major symptom. So with all that being said, I’m seeing my psychiatrist soon and considering asking about an IR boost in the afternoon. I feel like this could be beneficial, especially because the things I don’t have energy to do tend to be cleaning, creative projects, exercise, and so on. I would love to hear anyone’s experiences with both XR and IR, and any knowledge or advice to share on my situation. Thanks!

Usualy I do not talk to my sons dad, ever, he is a toxic narcissist and my ptsd stems from a previous abusive relationship, but today I HAD to talk to him, it was about our son and it was important. I braced myself and I talked to him, as usual it turned into a heated discussion where he pushed my triggers but I kept my head held high and kept on the topics I had to bring up. I did get a bit emotional(anger) but I felt fine right there and then and the next few hours after it. My son came back home and he has his own reactions to the visitations and today he ignored me for 2.5 hours(also a trigger,childhood trauma,my mom ignored me for weeks, cant deal with rejection). And now its 10 and im about to have an panic attack. I felt 6 hours after the confrontation that my anxiety was building up, I tried to ground myself and breathe, but the whole thing with my son pushed me over the edge. Now im still trying to ground myself but im so nauseated,my head is about to explode and I feel off. I took my prescribed atarax but it has not helped, im infront of a fan, windows open, chill music is playing but my body is in high fucking alert. I keep replaying the convo with my sons dad in my head, I keep seeing his face whenever im closing my eyes so im trying not to blink. This got a bit long but im so out of it right now. Why does I react so many hours after? Why cant I just react on the spot and be done with it.

I have OCD for a while now, and I also was diagnosed with dysthymia. Anyone else here with dysthymia / major depression? How did you cope with it?

I can feel my bones and my organs and my heart beating inside of me and every day that goes by it gets quieter It's like I'm actively aware of my body deteriorating and I can't do it anymore I'm selfish, I used to believe I could stay to keep my friends and family happy but it has been so long and my head is so so loud I hear my heart in my head and I either feel so heavy that I think I could sink into the floor or so light I could just fall right through it. I know that by living like this I am a burden to so many people and I have to ask myself whether it would be better for me to stay or to just fade away, out of people's memories.

Gonna wait for my pay check, pay bills and then bye forever.

Has anyone else taking fluvoxamine experienced severe fatigue at low doses? I've been on 25mg for about 3 weeks and just moved up to 50mg. I've had severe fatigue since going on the fluvoxamine and I'm not sure if I should push through it or switch to something else. I'm having insomnia at night and falling asleep all day, even with a low dose of modafinil in the mornings. Does the fatigue eventually go away as your body gets used to the med, does it change at higher doses, or does it just persist? I've barely gotten out of bed this week I'm dragging so much.

Was wondering if anyone has taken both Adderall XR and Vyvanse and if one was more consistent for you. Adderall XR is wildly inconsistent for me - sometimes a 60 mg dose will do nothing and on other days 20 mg will be enough. I know your stomach pH can affect it but I follow the exact same schedule every day where I take it on an empty stomach in the morning and don’t eat until 4-5 hours after, but it still varies a lot. Was wondering if you guys have found Vyvanse to be more consistent day to day.

Disclaimer: I am on a waiting list to be assessed for ADHD, so it's not something I have a diagnosis for, but my symptoms fit well enough for my GP to refer me for assessment and from things I've read, I feel that it is likely I have ADHD. I was telling my Mum today how I just can't concentrate and how disruptive it is and I mentioned that I am waiting for an assessment for ADHD. My Mum used to be a teaching assistant which included supporting students with ADHD, but she doesn't believe ADHD actually exists and is actually just an excuse that parents use for naughty children. She then said that I'm not hyperactive, and if anything I'm really slow. I explained that my brain is going at a million miles per hour and all my energy is in there and I don't even realise that my body isn't matching the internal chaos. As soon as I said this, she said "oh, well that's what your Dad says when his bipolar is getting bad. Are you sure you don't have bipolar?" And it's got me wondering. Is there a lot of cross over between the two? Genetically I guess it would be more likely for me to have bipolar as my Dad has it and nobody in my family has been diagnosed with ADHD. Just wondered what people's thoughts are or if people have experience of the two.

So I was guilty pleasure browsing r/sadcringe and spotted [this comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/sadcringe/comments/pna4ud/like_did_she_mean_to_send_me_that/hcoyysa/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3). What do y’all think? I had a “wow that explains a lot” moment. Also it is basically the same for women.

Fuck my mom and my dad and my sister fuck my entire fucking miserable family. I promise when I move out I will never speak to them ever again. Ever. 70% of my depression problem lies with them.

This was my original and very first battle with depression as I moved states away from my hometown and formed the idea that I don’t belong here. I’m originally from rural NC and moved down to Fl after my parents split years ago. I’m in college here and I’ve been to therapy and prescribed meds before but I still don’t feel like this is where I want to be (I’ve been down here about 6 years). I’ve yet to make a friend group I can relate too and unable to do anything fun as my idea of fun was campfires and hiking/ biking, etc. I’ve tried everything and my productivity has never been the same since moving here. I recently went on a ski trip to Colorado and all the emotions flood back in and I remember why I hate Florida so much. My psychiatrist says that it’s from within but when I said I’ve tried everything I really have, even with documentation (examples: working out w/ dates and duration for about a consistent 9 months, meds, parties, games, books, biking here, forcing myself to do uncomfortable things almost everyday), and I still feel like a shadow of my former self. I don’t notice but people say I’m much nicer and almost completely different (my gf and mom) when I’m back around old friends in NC. I’m a fraction of what I used to be and I’m really believing my ideals just don’t align with where I live. Sorry for the rant but does anybody relate or have any experiences they can share, anything’s appreciated:)

I've been on elvanse (50mg) for around 3 years now. I think I started when I was 14 and now I'm almost 17. But now I don't feel like it works anymore. I can barely focus on lessons and just paying attention to any topic in school feels nearly impossible. Should I try a higher dose like maybe 70mg or try a completely new medication? I've previously been on concerta and strattera but they didn't work for me.

All of the self-supporting habits I tried to build are currently gone. I'm living/sleeping on my couch with a three weeks worth of trash and food wrappers around me, and I can't seem to care anymore. I've missed two doctors appointments because I can't be bothered to give a damn. I hate it. It's comforting though. I know I need a therapist, I \*know\* I need to see my doctor. I just can't seem to care. I can't bother to try to reschedule a doctor's appointment, or why I should even bother anymore. How do you unfuck a fuckup, when you're so fucked up mentally you don't want to get unfucked up?

Hi everyone, can you describe if you have flashbacks where you feel panic, anxiety, rage or shame, but you don't see or hear anything from the incident? An example would be like if you see something on tv that reminds you of the incident and all of the sudden you feel those really intense, upset feelings. Another example would be if someone does something to you like cuts you in line, or just puts their hand on you by surprise, and so on. If you could, would you also explain what kind of incident you suffered to get ptsd as well?

I'm waiting for escitalopram to start working, 3 weeks on 10mg. I'm on clonazepam .5mg one or twice a day. I'm confused as to take it twice a day for a few weeks to knock myself out of the ptsd loop somewhat or take it sparingly and just get by like I have been. What's your thoughts/experience?

I hate myself my family hates me and probably wants me gone too im 21 jobless autistic with a alcoholic dipshit dad a naggy uptight bitch of a mum i spend all my days accidentally annoying them today i accidentally threw my dads dinner in the bin because no one told me that the tray wasnt meant to be empty so naturally i just hid in my room while hearing him call me a retard and a mistake i wanna fucking die everyday because he makes me feel like nothing but i cant do anything about it because im scared he says that he wouldn't do anything to hurt me but his words do the hurting anyway ive been clawing at my arm punching myself and headbutting fans because that arsehole keeps down i dont know what i can do because if i leave im fucked but if i stay I'll feel worse

I have a lot of things I should be thankful for but It doesn’t mean a thing if I’m not happy and it’s breaking me…

I've always noticed how stable, happy, well-adjusted people tend to find other people like them. I think I was maybe 7 or 8 when I started noticing this, and now at 35, I continue to be absolutely fascinated by these people. How do they get like that? How do they stay like that? How do they find other people like them and build relationships so easily? How do they move through life effortlessly and with so much emotional resilience? It makes me hate my upbringing all the more for making me so insecure of my place in the world. It makes me hate myself that I haven't been able to heal enough to become resilient and stable and happy. I've never been normal, and I don't think I ever will be.

I live in a place where things are starting to go back to normal gradually. And people are starting to go out again. I notice social media is full of people going to bars, clubs and restaurants. Which is great if you have friends to go with.... The other day I went to visit a relative and they asked if I was going out anywhere. I then said; “none of my friends are in this city right now”. It was an outright lie. They responded with; “it’s ok, you’ve always been a bit of a loner”. I just wanted to cry on the spot. The sad thing is, it’s exactly what I am. And it’s getting worse the older I get. A year goes by and nothing seems to change. I just used covid as an excuse for the last 18 months. And now people finally know that I literally have no life or social group whatsoever. I just don’t know what to do anymore. People at work are starting to realize it too. When they ask what I did on a vacation week and respond with; “I just stayed at home”. Their level of shock is clear to see in the face. They ask if I’m ill or unwell and I just make up an excuse about having to look after dogs or some random crap. I think the world forgets that we are not all wired the same. And some of us are just sat here in our apartments just waiting for one day to lead into another. For little or no meaning. It sucks so bad. I just wish people would be kinder. And at least try to be around me instead of cutting me off within weeks of meeting.

I noticed in all my relationships I’m super “in love.” I’m sure part of it is love, but I feel super high and romanticized like I’m in some crazy movie and their my entire world and perfect person. No matter good or bad times, I crave and miss them. I’m so obsessed, it’s like heroine to me. Even after a breakup, sometimes if I really was into the person, I’d nonstop contact them and carry them around with me for such a long time, as if I have a ghost with me. I’m at the point now where I’m going through a breakup and it’s so bad that he’s getting a restraining order. It’s torture. Anyone else experience this?

So I was sitting this morning thinking about the past and a memory surfaced of my mother having had used belts to strap me to a chair because I would keep getting up instead of doing my homework. So my question is this. If your parents had methods to get you to do a given task, what were they and were they anything as odd as strapping you into a chair?

I've been using Adderall on an as-needed basis for 6 years now. Mostly I won't use it for 6 weeks, and then for a week or two, I'll use it daily to prep for exams. For the past year though, I've started using much more, since I only have my thesis left to write. What I'll do is I'll use it 4-5 days out of the week, and mostly take the weekends off. I've grown increasingly concerned about the effect Adderall use has on my brain though. The main reason is that I'm now suffering from massive anhedonia. And I feel I have been progressively sinking into this anhedonia for years. I don't know If Adderall is the cause or not. But there are some things that make me worry about Adderall's effects on the brain. When I started using Adderall, I was 23, and very happy. I felt pleasure easily. Adderall gave me crazy euphoria in moderate doses and had me working non-stop for hours. As the years moved on, however, I felt less and less pleasure doing things I normally enjoy. While I don't think it's necessarily the Adderal's doing, as I felt my pleasure levels slowly drop off from the moment I went through an event that caused what I believe to be congruent depression, I do worry a lot about Adderall's effects on the dopaminergic system. What worries me are articles (trigger warning for fellow-hypochondriacs taking Adderall) suggesting that Adderall can cause brain damage through neurotoxicity; long-term stripping/damaging of elements in the dopaminergic system; shrinking of the parts of the brain that regulate pleasure, emotions and short term memory; and the apparently 8x increased chance of developing Parkinson's among those who've taken either Adderall or Ritalin (suggesting therapeutic doses permanently alter the dopaminergic system). On the other hand, I know that Adderall is an old medicine, widely used and FDA approved. And that according to experts most research points to it being safe. However, I can't find that research. The only research I can readily find suggests negative effects, but bases their assertions on meth or crazy high doses of dex given to mice and monkeys. Does anybody have any info to help me worry less about my use of Adderall? Fwiw, I usually take between 10 and 15 mg a day. Never more. But I do dose irregularly throughout the day and I've never lost the euphoria it gives me (although it lessened by magnitudes) as well as the side-effects like suppressed appetite and irritability.

I (25F) had a pretty rough start in life. I grew up in an abusive environment and had a lot of repressed trauma. I never really fit in anywhere and was usually the annoying girl that nobody liked. I just accepted it though and let people treat me any kind of way because I needed to feel a sense of belonging even if I was the butt of the joke in most cases. I’m college it was pretty much the same. I just couldn’t seem to get things right and never made any real friends. Eventually, I just cut all my friends off. I figured it would be better to be alone than to continue allowing people to treat me horribly. But today I was looking through old pictures and got kinda sad. I miss my friends and also the old me. I use not care what other people thought. Even if people didn’t like me, I still put myself out there. I was so social and I enjoyed the good memories. I just don’t know how I got to this point where I have no friends and can’t open up to people. I feel so alone.

i was really stupid the other month and decided to go onto omegle and do some pretty stupid things (exposed) with a person i matched with (they looked mid twenties - did not ask age). i'm full of fear and anxiety believing that i will be arrested or charged for my inappropriate conduct. i was hoping to get some clarification from regarding my dumb choices which have created a massive amount of anxiety. i'm sorry to bother but i am losing hair and sleep. i've decided to never ever go back onto omegle. i cant keep living with this fear and need some honest advice. i'm worried about losing the life i have over a really dumb decision to use omegle. i was banned for one day. i'm worried the police will come to my door and thatt i'll lose my job, my family and friends. please help.

Hi! I’m new to this app, and I’m just looking for a place to discuss my OCD and GAD with people who understand. I could use a bit of advice, but first let me catch you up. I am currently 19 (a sophomore in college). I was diagnosed with OCD in my sophomore year of high school, and GAD years ago. In high school, my obsession revolved around the idea of being cursed, and my compulsions consisted of repetitive actions such as hand washing, re reading, re writing, confessing, and worst of all, making myself throw up. I was prescribed Prozac which did wonders. My OCD had since subsided, but never fully disappeared. Fast forward to last year, I had gone through a series of hormonal issues which led to my OCD making a huge return. It began with asking my boyfriend (whom I live with) questions about his past. These questions became obsessive to the point where I’d forget right after asking, or even if I did already know the answer, I’d still ask again anyways (I think my brain would convince itself that I’m unsure of the answer). I began to fear what other questions my brain would come up with. I also began experiencing horrible intrusive thoughts, which put me under the impression that my boyfriend must be lying to me and that my friends must hate me ... for no apparent reason. Luckily for me, both my boyfriend and friends are incredibly understanding, and (perhaps not for the best) they reassure me a ton. I know that it’s truly irrational to feel my boyfriend is being unfaithful in any way because not only do we live with each other, but he lets me go through his phone and tells me everything (he shows me his convos wen girls try to slide in his dm and how he quickly shuts them down, he tells me about when girls try to hit on him at work and how he curves them, and even if someone he doesn’t recognize likes his photo, he shows/tells me). Same goes for my friends, in that they are incredibly blunt and would tell me if they truly had an issue with me. I started taking Prozac again 4 days ago, but I still feel so trapped. My psychiatrist said she thinks I’m struggling with cognitive distortions as a result of my GAD/OCD, and is having me start CBT in the mere future. Back from when I was first having my hormonal issues, upon waking up in the morning, I’d have a sinking feeling in my stomach. As time went on, waking up with a sinking feeling inside became waking up and feeling sheer panic. For the time being, I also feel the urge to ask questions that I already know the answers to and worst of all, I feel the need to re read DMs that I’ve deleted (so that I cannot re read them) and cannot get back. Because of this, I feel incredibly trapped. My obsessions still revolve around the concept of being cursed (cursing myself/my relationships), but now it also has to do with reincarnation (something that I also fear). I’m supposed to start CBT soon and my boyfriend, family, and friends are all being incredibly supportive of me. Despite this, it still feels rather bleak, and I’d greatly appreciate some advice and words of wisdom.

//WARNINGS// Mentions of meltdowns, bullying, phobias, eating disorders and substance abuse This is about to be a long post, sorry guys. I have never spoken about this with anyone but I need to finally get this off my chest. I (17f) was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome when I was 7. At the time, I showed many of the typical signs: walking around in circles when thinking, the seams in my socks being so uncomfortable for me that I would cry when getting ready, huge meltdowns, obsessively memorising the Latin names for all the animals in the museum... those are some of the things I remember. I don’t remember this, but eventually my parents took me to a specialist and I got diagnosed. Simple, right? Except for whatever reason, my parents decided to make sure I never found out about my diagnosis and that I would never receive any professional help. Primary school was difficult. For most of it, I had no friends and was bullied and excluded by the other girls. I spent every lunchtime in the library. Somehow, I developed a phobia of fruit so intense that anything that touched fruit became ‘contaminated’ and I would scream at anyone who came near me with it. I don’t do that anymore, but I still can’t bring myself to touch anything that touched fruit. At age 11, I developed an eating disorder which would appear in bursts over the years. I don’t know if the food issues have anything to do with my autism but they definitely contributed to making this period of my life pretty awful. In high school (grade 8), I started to become really good at masking. Now that I had started a new school with new people, I had an opportunity to start fresh, so I decided to completely discard who I was before. Although I was by no means popular, I could pass as neurotypical and found a small group of friends. On the surface, it seemed like my life had taken a turn for the better, but in reality, I had never been worse. I had what I thought were panic attacks nearly every night, but they may have been meltdowns from ignoring my sensory needs all day long. I developed germophobia so acute that I felt that I could physically feel the germs on my fingertips. My desire for acceptance lead me to falling in with a bad crowd. I started binge drinking and smoking weed, then later abusing opioids to deal with my anxiety. When I was 15, a couple of my friends and I were suspended for drinking alcohol at school. My dad was driving me to school one day after the suspension when he got an email from one of my teachers and asked me to check it. It was some sort of back-and-forth correspondence about the suspension, but what stuck out to me is my dad’s most recent email to the teacher: ‘We ask you not to disclose that (my name) was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome’. I remember being really confused and reading it out to him, him freaking out and calling my mum, my mum crying on the phone and saying she was sorry. All I remember is just being speechless and slamming the car door on my way out. I freaking love my parents. Seriously, they’re the best. They’ve been nothing but completely supportive my whole life, even during the times when I probably made their lives absolute hell. When I came home from school on the day I found out about the diagnosis, the first thing I did was apologise for acting mad because when I thought about it, I really wasn’t. I was just shocked and confused because suddenly, everything I’d been through had a name and I wasn’t sure I wanted it. I absolutely had a negative view of autistic people at the time. Having been bullied myself, I projected this onto people who resembled the person I used to be, the person I had nothing but hatred for. I wanted nothing to do with the label. I never found out why my parents decided to hide it from me, and I can’t deal with confrontation so I never asked. However, I think I have an idea. My mum used to be a psychologist, and she believes that diagnoses have a placebo effect on the patient which causes them to ‘live up’ to their illness. By not telling my about my autism or giving me treatment, she was doing what she genuinely thought was best for me, and you know what? Maybe she was right. I’m at a new school now, and I completely pass for neurotypical. Upon finding out about my diagnosis, I immediately researched all the traits of autism so I could eliminate them in myself, and I believe I do a pretty good job. Recently, I discovered the autism acceptance movement on TikTok. At first I was apprehensive, but after some time I realised that this is what I’ve been needing my whole life. I want to be myself. I want to be okay with being myself. But I’ve spent so long crushing that person that all I’m left with is a bunch of shitty mental illnesses and a group of friends who get off on bullying people like me. I let myself stim by flicking my wrist while using my laptop for the first time since I was a kid the other day (I usually do covert stims like shaking my leg) and it felt so right I cried. It’s been two years since I found out and I haven’t brought it up with my parents, nor have they. But recently I’ve been wondering if I’m really as okay with what they did as I initially said I was. They inadvertently taught me that who I am was so wrong that I couldn’t even mention it, and to this day I’ve never told anyone that I’m autistic. They denied me treatment for issues which continue to affect my life today. I just want to eat a freaking slice of toast without hating myself afterwards and decontaminating everything the food touched. Today, I suddenly felt so angry at them. It was like years’ worth of bottled up pain suddenly came gushing out all at once. It’s overwhelming, so I came to the only place I thought might have someone who understands. It’s not fair to blame all my problems on my parents when many of them are self-inflicted. After all this, I don’t even know if I’m ‘autistic enough’ to justify posting to this sub. How am I supposed to feel? This is just so messed up. Let me know what you think, or just berate me if I’m being an absolute idiot. Thanks for reading all this, I’m absolutely exhausted after typing it so I’m going to go to bed now and see how I feel in the morning. Take care of yourselves :)

I’ve been taking quitiapin for sleep for a while now, today my doctor asked me to stop. We’re any of y’all on the pill? How did y’all stop taking it?

i feel like a failure i got no support and only a few friends but they dont understand what im dealing with. ive had numerous jobs quit some and fired from some thought of moving to another state but that might be expensive and may not help my problems. my siblings are non existent and therapy is on and off. Im afraid of regret and just screwing up my life and i just am fed up with everything and cant take it anymore

A Friend sent this to me. A friend of his just uploaded this today. He designed it to have a calming effect on his Autistic Son, and was helpful. I thought it might help others. [Autism Calming Music - Youtube.com](https://youtu.be/ajwg9mlxBiY)

So I just started Bleach again it's an anime really good recommend it but I finished it maybe a month ago,still I want to watch it again so I'm doing it. Do you guys do this too like I saw people rewatch stuff but not this frequently and some say it's a waste of time.