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hi, how are you doing? i'm fine. how about yourself? | |
i'm fine. how about yourself? i'm pretty good. thanks for asking. | |
i'm pretty good. thanks for asking. no problem. so how have you been? | |
no problem. so how have you been? i've been great. what about you? | |
i've been great. what about you? i've been good. i'm in school right now. | |
i've been good. i'm in school right now. what school do you go to? | |
what school do you go to? i go to pcc. | |
i go to pcc. do you like it there? | |
do you like it there? it's okay. it's a really big campus. | |
it's okay. it's a really big campus. good luck with school. | |
good luck with school. thank you very much. | |
how's it going? i'm doing well. how about you? | |
i'm doing well. how about you? never better, thanks. | |
never better, thanks. so how have you been lately? | |
so how have you been lately? i've actually been pretty good. you? | |
i've actually been pretty good. you? i'm actually in school right now. | |
i'm actually in school right now. which school do you attend? | |
which school do you attend? i'm attending pcc right now. | |
i'm attending pcc right now. are you enjoying it there? | |
are you enjoying it there? it's not bad. there are a lot of people there. | |
it's not bad. there are a lot of people there. good luck with that. | |
good luck with that. thanks. | |
how are you doing today? i'm doing great. what about you? | |
i'm doing great. what about you? i'm absolutely lovely, thank you. | |
i'm absolutely lovely, thank you. everything's been good with you? | |
everything's been good with you? i haven't been better. how about yourself? | |
i haven't been better. how about yourself? i started school recently. | |
i started school recently. where are you going to school? | |
where are you going to school? i'm going to pcc. | |
i'm going to pcc. how do you like it so far? | |
how do you like it so far? i like it so far. my classes are pretty good right now. | |
i like it so far. my classes are pretty good right now. i wish you luck. | |
it's an ugly day today. i know. i think it may rain. | |
i know. i think it may rain. it's the middle of summer, it shouldn't rain today. | |
it's the middle of summer, it shouldn't rain today. that would be weird. | |
that would be weird. yeah, especially since it's ninety degrees outside. | |
yeah, especially since it's ninety degrees outside. i know, it would be horrible if it rained and it was hot outside. | |
i know, it would be horrible if it rained and it was hot outside. yes, it would be. | |
yes, it would be. i really wish it wasn't so hot every day. | |
i really wish it wasn't so hot every day. me too. i can't wait until winter. | |
me too. i can't wait until winter. i like winter too, but sometimes it gets too cold. | |
i like winter too, but sometimes it gets too cold. i'd rather be cold than hot. | |
i'd rather be cold than hot. me too. | |
it doesn't look very nice outside today. you're right. i think it's going to rain later. | |
you're right. i think it's going to rain later. in the middle of the summer, it shouldn't be raining. | |
in the middle of the summer, it shouldn't be raining. that wouldn't seem right. | |
that wouldn't seem right. considering that it's over ninety degrees outside, that would be weird. | |
considering that it's over ninety degrees outside, that would be weird. exactly, it wouldn't be nice if it started raining. it's too hot. | |
exactly, it wouldn't be nice if it started raining. it's too hot. i know, you're absolutely right. | |
i know, you're absolutely right. i wish it would cool off one day. | |
i wish it would cool off one day. that's how i feel, i want winter to come soon. | |
that's how i feel, i want winter to come soon. i enjoy the winter, but it gets really cold sometimes. | |
i enjoy the winter, but it gets really cold sometimes. i know what you mean, but i'd rather be cold than hot. | |
i know what you mean, but i'd rather be cold than hot. that's exactly how i feel. | |
i wish it was a nicer day today. that is true. i hope it doesn't rain. | |
that is true. i hope it doesn't rain. it wouldn't rain in the middle of the summer. | |
it wouldn't rain in the middle of the summer. it wouldn't seem right if it started raining right now. | |
it wouldn't seem right if it started raining right now. it would be weird if it started raining in ninety degree weather. | |
it would be weird if it started raining in ninety degree weather. any rain right now would be pointless. | |
any rain right now would be pointless. that's right, it really would be. | |
that's right, it really would be. i want it to cool down some. | |
i want it to cool down some. i know what you mean, i can't wait until it's winter. | |
i know what you mean, i can't wait until it's winter. winter is great. i wish it didn't get so cold sometimes though. | |
winter is great. i wish it didn't get so cold sometimes though. i would rather deal with the winter than the summer. | |
it's such a nice day. yes, it is. | |
yes, it is. it looks like it may rain soon. | |
it looks like it may rain soon. yes, and i hope that it does. | |
yes, and i hope that it does. why is that? | |
why is that? i really love how rain clears the air. | |
i really love how rain clears the air. me too. it always smells so fresh after it rains. | |
me too. it always smells so fresh after it rains. yes, but i love the night air after it rains. | |
yes, but i love the night air after it rains. really? why is it? | |
really? why is it? because you can see the stars perfectly. | |
because you can see the stars perfectly. i really hope it rains today. | |
i really hope it rains today. yeah, me too. | |
isn't it a nice day? it really is. | |
it really is. it seems that it may rain today. | |
it seems that it may rain today. hopefully it will. | |
hopefully it will. how come? | |
how come? i like how clear the sky gets after it rains. | |
i like how clear the sky gets after it rains. i feel the same way. it smells so good after it rains. | |
i feel the same way. it smells so good after it rains. i especially love the night air when it rains. | |
i especially love the night air when it rains. really? why? | |
really? why? the stars look so much closer after it rains. | |
the stars look so much closer after it rains. i really want it to rain today. | |
i really want it to rain today. yeah, so do i. | |
don't you think it's nice out? yes, i think so too. | |
yes, i think so too. i think that it's going to rain. | |
i think that it's going to rain. i hope that it does rain. | |
i hope that it does rain. you like the rain? | |
you like the rain? the sky looks so clean after it rains. i love it. | |
the sky looks so clean after it rains. i love it. i understand. rain does make it smell cleaner. | |
i understand. rain does make it smell cleaner. i love most how it is at night after it rains. | |
i love most how it is at night after it rains. how come? | |
how come? you can see the stars so much more clearly after it rains. | |
you can see the stars so much more clearly after it rains. i would love for it to rain today. | |
i really want to go to the beach this weekend. that sounds like fun. what's the weather going to be like? | |
that sounds like fun. what's the weather going to be like? i heard that it's going to be warm this weekend. | |
i heard that it's going to be warm this weekend. is it going to be perfect beach weather? | |
is it going to be perfect beach weather? i believe so. | |
i believe so. good. i hope it doesn't cool off this weekend. | |
good. i hope it doesn't cool off this weekend. i know. i really want to go to the beach. | |
i know. i really want to go to the beach. but you know that california weather is really unpredictable. | |
but you know that california weather is really unpredictable. you're right. one minute it's hot, and then the next minute it's cold. | |
you're right. one minute it's hot, and then the next minute it's cold. i really wish the weather would just stay the same. | |
i really wish the weather would just stay the same. i do too. that way we can have our activities planned ahead of time. | |
i do too. that way we can have our activities planned ahead of time. yeah, that would make things a lot easier. | |
i would like to take a trip to the beach this weekend. a trip to the beach would be fun. how is the weather going to be? | |
a trip to the beach would be fun. how is the weather going to be? the forecast says that it will be warm on the weekend. | |
the forecast says that it will be warm on the weekend. so do you think it'll be perfect weather for the beach? | |
so do you think it'll be perfect weather for the beach? it sounds like it will be. | |
it sounds like it will be. i really hope it doesn't get cold. | |
i really hope it doesn't get cold. that would ruin things, i want to go so badly. | |
that would ruin things, i want to go so badly. the weather in california is unpredictable, so you never know. | |
the weather in california is unpredictable, so you never know. that is true. the weather is constantly changing. | |
that is true. the weather is constantly changing. it would be nice if the weather would never change. | |
it would be nice if the weather would never change. that would be great, then we could plan things sooner. | |
that would be great, then we could plan things sooner. true. predictable weather would make life easier. | |
it would be nice to go to the beach sometime this weekend. what's the weather going to be like? i may want to go too. | |
what's the weather going to be like? i may want to go too. the weather this weekend is supposed to be warm. | |
the weather this weekend is supposed to be warm. will it be good beach weather? | |
will it be good beach weather? i think it will be. | |
i think it will be. it wouldn't be good if it got cold this weekend. | |
it wouldn't be good if it got cold this weekend. i want this trip to be perfect, i hope it stays warm. | |
i want this trip to be perfect, i hope it stays warm. this california weather is so uncertain, it's impossible to know what'll happen. | |
this california weather is so uncertain, it's impossible to know what'll happen. i know. every day the weather seems different. | |
i know. every day the weather seems different. i would love it if it wasn't always so unpredictable. | |
i would love it if it wasn't always so unpredictable. that would make it easier for us to make plans. | |
hello, may i speak to alice please? this is she. how's it going? | |
this is she. how's it going? i've been trying to call you all day. | |
i've been trying to call you all day. sorry about that. i was cleaning up. | |
sorry about that. i was cleaning up. it's okay. | |
it's okay. so what were you calling me about? | |
so what were you calling me about? oh, i just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out tomorrow. | |
oh, i just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out tomorrow. sure, what did you want to do? | |
sure, what did you want to do? maybe we can go see a movie or something. | |
maybe we can go see a movie or something. that sounds like fun. let's do it. | |
that sounds like fun. let's do it. i'll see you tomorrow then. | |
i'll see you tomorrow then. see you then. goodbye. | |
hi, how are you. is alice there? speaking. what's up? | |
speaking. what's up? why haven't you answered the phone? | |
why haven't you answered the phone? my bad, i had chores to do. | |
my bad, i had chores to do. that's all right. | |
that's all right. what was the reason for your call? | |
what was the reason for your call? i want to do something tomorrow with you. | |
i want to do something tomorrow with you. sounds good. what did you have in mind? | |
sounds good. what did you have in mind? i was thinking about seeing a movie. | |
i was thinking about seeing a movie. okay, let's go see a movie. | |
okay, let's go see a movie. until then. | |
until then. talk to you later. | |
is alice available? you're talking to her. | |
you're talking to her. i've called you a hundred times today. | |
i've called you a hundred times today. i was busy doing something. i apologize. | |
i was busy doing something. i apologize. no problem. | |
no problem. did you need something? | |
did you need something? do you want to do something tomorrow? | |
do you want to do something tomorrow? is there somewhere special you wanted to go? | |
is there somewhere special you wanted to go? how about a movie? | |
how about a movie? a movie sounds good. | |
a movie sounds good. call me tomorrow then. | |
have you seen the new girl in school? no, i haven't. | |
no, i haven't. she's really pretty. | |
she's really pretty. describe her to me. | |
describe her to me. she's not too tall. | |
she's not too tall. well, how tall is she? | |
well, how tall is she? she's about five feet even. | |
she's about five feet even. what does she look like, though? | |
what does she look like, though? she has pretty light brown eyes. | |
she has pretty light brown eyes. i may know which girl you're talking about. | |
i may know which girl you're talking about. so you have seen her around? | |
so you have seen her around? yes, i have. | |
there's a new girl in school, have you seen her yet? i haven't seen her yet. | |
i haven't seen her yet. i think that she is very pretty. | |
i think that she is very pretty. tell me how she looks. | |
tell me how she looks. she's kind of short. | |
she's kind of short. what height is she? | |
what height is she? she's probably about five feet. | |
she's probably about five feet. that's nice, but tell me what she looks like. | |
that's nice, but tell me what she looks like. the first thing i noticed was her beautiful brown eyes. | |
the first thing i noticed was her beautiful brown eyes. i think i might've bumped into her before. | |
i think i might've bumped into her before. are you telling me that you've seen her before? | |
are you telling me that you've seen her before? i believe so. | |
have you met the new girl? no. have you? | |
no. have you? she's one of the prettiest girls at the school. | |
she's one of the prettiest girls at the school. what does she look like? | |
what does she look like? well, she's quite short. | |
well, she's quite short. how tall would you say that she is? | |
how tall would you say that she is? i would say she's only five feet. | |
i would say she's only five feet. what about her facial features? | |
what about her facial features? she has light brown eyes, absolutely beautiful. | |
she has light brown eyes, absolutely beautiful. i think i know who you're talking about. | |
i think i know who you're talking about. have you seen her? | |
why weren't you at school yesterday? i wasn't really feeling well. | |
i wasn't really feeling well. what was wrong with you? | |
what was wrong with you? my stomach was upset. | |
my stomach was upset. do you feel better now? | |
do you feel better now? i don't really feel too well yet. | |
i don't really feel too well yet. do you want anything to make you feel better? | |
do you want anything to make you feel better? no, thanks. i already took some medicine. | |
no, thanks. i already took some medicine. i hope you feel better. | |
i hope you feel better. thank you. | |
what reason do you have for missing school? i was sick. | |
i was sick. how were you sick? | |
how were you sick? i had a stomachache. | |
i had a stomachache. did it get any better? | |
did it get any better? i'm still feeling under the weather. | |
i'm still feeling under the weather. would you like anything for your stomach? | |
would you like anything for your stomach? i took something earlier. | |
i took something earlier. get better. | |
get better. thanks a lot. | |
why didn't you go to school yesterday? i stayed home because i wasn't feeling well. | |
i stayed home because i wasn't feeling well. what was your problem? | |
what was your problem? my stomach was bothering me. | |
my stomach was bothering me. are you feeling any better? | |
are you feeling any better? i'm still feeling a little sick. | |
i'm still feeling a little sick. i'm going to the store, would you like any pepto bismol? | |
i'm going to the store, would you like any pepto bismol? that's okay. | |
that's okay. i hope you feel better. | |
did you hear the good news? no, i haven't. | |
no, i haven't. i got a promotion at my job. | |
i got a promotion at my job. did you really? | |
did you really? seriously, i am so excited. | |
seriously, i am so excited. well, congratulations. | |
well, congratulations. thank you. | |
thank you. i'm so happy for you. | |
i'm so happy for you. really? | |
really? yes. you really deserved this. | |
yes. you really deserved this. you think so? | |
you think so? yes. good for you. | |
have you heard my good news? you haven't told me anything yet. | |
you haven't told me anything yet. i got a promotion at work earlier this week. | |
i got a promotion at work earlier this week. is that right? | |
is that right? it's the truth. i am really happy. | |
it's the truth. i am really happy. congratulations on your promotion. | |
congratulations on your promotion. thank you very much. | |
thank you very much. i am really excited for you. | |
i am really excited for you. are you really? | |
are you really? i'm serious. you deserved this promotion. | |
i'm serious. you deserved this promotion. is that what you really think? | |
is that what you really think? yes, i do. | |
i haven't told you what happened yet, have i? i haven't heard anything. | |
i haven't heard anything. my boss offered me a promotion, and i took it. | |
my boss offered me a promotion, and i took it. are you serious? | |
are you serious? yes, i am really excited. | |
yes, i am really excited. that's great. congratulations. | |
that's great. congratulations. i appreciate that. | |
i appreciate that. you have no idea how happy i am for you. | |
you have no idea how happy i am for you. for real? | |
you look really nice today. thank you. i just got this outfit the other day. | |
thank you. i just got this outfit the other day. really, where did you get it? | |
really, where did you get it? i got it from macy's. | |
i got it from macy's. it's really nice. | |
it's really nice. thanks again. you look nice today, too. | |
thanks again. you look nice today, too. thank you. i just got these shoes today. | |
thank you. i just got these shoes today. really? what kind of shoes are they? | |
really? what kind of shoes are they? these are called all star chuck taylors. | |
these are called all star chuck taylors. i really like those. how much did they cost? | |
i really like those. how much did they cost? they were about forty dollars. | |
they were about forty dollars. i think i'm going to go buy myself a pair. | |
i absolutely love what you're wearing today. you do? i just bought this outfit a couple days ago. | |
you do? i just bought this outfit a couple days ago. seriously, it looks really nice on you. where did you buy it from? | |
seriously, it looks really nice on you. where did you buy it from? i bought it from the macy's at the santa anita mall. | |
i bought it from the macy's at the santa anita mall. i really like that outfit. | |
i really like that outfit. thanks. i think you look nice today, too. | |
thanks. i think you look nice today, too. thank you. i just bought these new shoes earlier today. | |
thank you. i just bought these new shoes earlier today. those are nice. what are they? | |
those are nice. what are they? these are some chucks. | |
these are some chucks. those are great. how much were they? | |
those are great. how much were they? i got them for forty. | |
i got them for forty. i think i might go and find me my own pair of chucks. | |
i think that you look very cute today. is that right? this is a brand new outfit. | |
is that right? this is a brand new outfit. what store did you get it from? | |
what store did you get it from? i went to macy's and picked it out. | |
i went to macy's and picked it out. i love your outfit right now. | |
i love your outfit right now. well, i think you look nice today too. | |
well, i think you look nice today too. thanks. i found these new shoes earlier at the store. | |
thanks. i found these new shoes earlier at the store. i think that those are some really nice shoes. what kind are they? | |
i think that those are some really nice shoes. what kind are they? these are chucks. | |
these are chucks. your shoes look really nice. how much did you get them for? | |
your shoes look really nice. how much did you get them for? they only cost me about forty dollars. | |
tell me, what do you enjoy doing in your spare time? i enjoy drawing and painting. | |
i enjoy drawing and painting. you know how to draw and paint? | |
you know how to draw and paint? yes, i do. | |
yes, i do. when did you learn how to do that? | |
when did you learn how to do that? i learned back in high school. | |
i learned back in high school. oh, so you took an art class? | |
oh, so you took an art class? yeah, i loved that class. | |
yeah, i loved that class. i see that you're pretty talented. | |
i see that you're pretty talented. thank you very much. | |
thank you very much. i wish i had a talent like that. | |
i wish i had a talent like that. i'm sure you have a talent. it's just hidden. | |
what kinds of things do you like to do? i've always liked to draw and paint. | |
i've always liked to draw and paint. i didn't know you knew how to draw and paint. | |
i didn't know you knew how to draw and paint. i do it every once in a while. | |
i do it every once in a while. how long have you known how to do that? | |
how long have you known how to do that? i first learned how to do it in high school. | |
i first learned how to do it in high school. did you take some sort of art class or something? | |
did you take some sort of art class or something? that was my favorite class. | |
that was my favorite class. you have got to be talented. | |
you have got to be talented. thanks. | |
thanks. if only i was talented. | |
if only i was talented. you have a talent. you just don't know what it is yet. | |
are there any hobbies you do? when i have time, i sometimes draw and paint. | |
when i have time, i sometimes draw and paint. oh, you actually do that? | |
oh, you actually do that? every so often, i do. | |
every so often, i do. did you always know how to draw and paint? | |
did you always know how to draw and paint? i was taught in high school how to draw and paint. | |
i was taught in high school how to draw and paint. you had an art class? | |
you had an art class? exactly, it was my favorite class. | |
exactly, it was my favorite class. well, it's good that you're so talented. | |
well, it's good that you're so talented. i appreciate that. | |
i appreciate that. talent is a great thing, i wish i had one. | |
what's your favorite movie? my favorite movie is superbad. | |
my favorite movie is superbad. oh, why is that? | |
oh, why is that? it's the funniest movie that i've ever seen. | |
it's the funniest movie that i've ever seen. that's true. it is a very funny movie. | |
that's true. it is a very funny movie. you've seen it before? | |
you've seen it before? yes, i saw that movie the first day it came out in theaters. | |
yes, i saw that movie the first day it came out in theaters. didn't you laugh through the whole movie? i did. | |
didn't you laugh through the whole movie? i did. me too. that movie brought tears to my eyes. | |
me too. that movie brought tears to my eyes. mine too. | |
mine too. i have it on dvd at my house if you want to come over and watch it. | |
i have it on dvd at my house if you want to come over and watch it. sure, let's go. | |
which movie is your favorite to watch? i have to say, my favorite movie is superbad. | |
i have to say, my favorite movie is superbad. is that right? why? | |
is that right? why? honestly, it is one of the funniest movies i've seen in a long time. | |
honestly, it is one of the funniest movies i've seen in a long time. you're right. that movie is hilarious. | |
you're right. that movie is hilarious. i didn't think you saw that movie. | |
i didn't think you saw that movie. i went to see it the day it came out. | |
i went to see it the day it came out. i was laughing through the whole movie. | |
i was laughing through the whole movie. i couldn't help laughing, either. | |
i couldn't help laughing, either. same here. | |
same here. i bought the movie. would you like to come to my house and watch it? | |
i bought the movie. would you like to come to my house and watch it? of course. | |
out of every movie that you've seen, which one is your favorite? i'm going to have to say that superbad is the best movie ever. | |
i'm going to have to say that superbad is the best movie ever. you think so, how come? | |
you think so, how come? well, superbad is super funny. | |
well, superbad is super funny. you're not lying, i found that movie absolutely hilarious. | |
you're not lying, i found that movie absolutely hilarious. i didn't know that you saw superbad before. | |
i didn't know that you saw superbad before. i made sure to be in line to see it the first day it came out. | |
i made sure to be in line to see it the first day it came out. i couldn't keep from laughing throughout the whole movie. | |
i couldn't keep from laughing throughout the whole movie. i was laughing hysterically the whole time; my stomach muscles hurt afterwards. | |
i was laughing hysterically the whole time; my stomach muscles hurt afterwards. that's exactly how i felt. | |
that's exactly how i felt. i got the movie when it came out on dvd, do you want to come over? | |
what type of music do you like to listen to? i like listening to different kinds of music. | |
i like listening to different kinds of music. like what, for instance? | |
like what, for instance? i enjoy rock and r&b. | |
i enjoy rock and r&b. why is that? | |
why is that? i like the different instruments that they use. | |
i like the different instruments that they use. that's a good reason to like something. | |
that's a good reason to like something. yeah, i think so too. | |
what kind of music do you enjoy listening to? i enjoy listening to all kinds of music. | |
i enjoy listening to all kinds of music. what kind? | |
what kind? i like to listen to rock and r&b. | |
i like to listen to rock and r&b. why do you like that type of music? | |
why do you like that type of music? i like the kinds of instruments that they use. | |
i like the kinds of instruments that they use. i think that's an excellent reason to like something. | |
i think that's an excellent reason to like something. thanks, i feel the same way. | |
what is your favorite kind of music? i listen to various types of music. | |
i listen to various types of music. what genres? | |
what genres? i enjoy listening to both rock and r&b. | |
i enjoy listening to both rock and r&b. what interests you in that type of music? | |
what interests you in that type of music? i enjoy the different types of instruments that they use. | |
i enjoy the different types of instruments that they use. that is a perfect reason to like a certain kind of music. | |
did you go to the basketball game on friday? no, i couldn't make it. | |
no, i couldn't make it. you missed a really good game. | |
you missed a really good game. oh, really? who won? | |
oh, really? who won? our school did. they played really well. | |
our school did. they played really well. too bad i was busy. i really wanted to go. | |
too bad i was busy. i really wanted to go. yeah, you should have. it was really exciting. | |
yeah, you should have. it was really exciting. so what was the score? | |
so what was the score? the score was 101-98. | |
the score was 101-98. man, that was a really close game. | |
man, that was a really close game. that's what made it so great. | |
that's what made it so great. i'll make sure and make it to the next one. | |
were you able to attend friday night's basketball game? i was unable to make it. | |
i was unable to make it. you should have been there. it was intense. | |
you should have been there. it was intense. is that right. who ended up winning? | |
is that right. who ended up winning? our team was victorious. | |
our team was victorious. i wish i was free that night. i'm kind of mad that i didn't go. | |
i wish i was free that night. i'm kind of mad that i didn't go. it was a great game. | |
it was a great game. what was the score at the end of the game? | |
what was the score at the end of the game? our team won 101-98. | |
our team won 101-98. sounds like it was a close game. | |
sounds like it was a close game. that's the reason it was such a great game. | |
that's the reason it was such a great game. the next game, i will definitely be there. | |
i was meaning to ask you if you saw the basketball game on friday. i wanted to go, but i couldn't. | |
i wanted to go, but i couldn't. it was a great game. | |
it was a great game. it's too bad that i couldn't make it. who won? | |
it's too bad that i couldn't make it. who won? our team played hard and won. | |
our team played hard and won. i really wish i went to the game. | |
i really wish i went to the game. it was the best game ever. | |
it was the best game ever. so tell me the final score. | |
so tell me the final score. the other team lost by three points, 101-98. | |
the other team lost by three points, 101-98. it must've been a close game. | |
it must've been a close game. it really was. you should've gone. | |
what are you doing this weekend? i'm going to the movies with a friend. how about you? | |
i'm going to the movies with a friend. how about you? i'm not sure yet. | |
i'm not sure yet. well, did you want to go see a movie with me? | |
well, did you want to go see a movie with me? what movie are you going to see? | |
what movie are you going to see? i'm not sure yet. is there something you want to see? | |
i'm not sure yet. is there something you want to see? there's nothing i can think of. | |
there's nothing i can think of. so, did you want to go? | |
so, did you want to go? no, thanks, maybe another time. | |
no, thanks, maybe another time. okay, sounds good. | |
do you know what you're going to do this weekend? i am going to see a movie with a friend of mine. what about you? | |
i am going to see a movie with a friend of mine. what about you? i don't know. | |
i don't know. would you like to see a movie with me and my friend? | |
would you like to see a movie with me and my friend? do you know what movie you're going to watch? | |
do you know what movie you're going to watch? i don't know, but was there a certain movie you wanted to see? | |
i don't know, but was there a certain movie you wanted to see? none that i can think of. | |
none that i can think of. well, would you like to go? | |
well, would you like to go? thank you for inviting me, but i think i'll pass. | |
thank you for inviting me, but i think i'll pass. all right. another time then. | |
you have any ideas as to what you want to do this weekend? i'm going to the movie theater with my friend. what are you going to do? | |
i'm going to the movie theater with my friend. what are you going to do? i'm not quite sure yet. | |
i'm not quite sure yet. how about you see a movie with me and my friend? | |
how about you see a movie with me and my friend? what movie are you and your friend planning on watching? | |
what movie are you and your friend planning on watching? not sure. is there a movie out that catches your eye? | |
not sure. is there a movie out that catches your eye? no good movies come to mind. | |
no good movies come to mind. have you decided whether or not you would like to go? | |
have you decided whether or not you would like to go? no, thanks. maybe another time. | |
did you go to school today? yeah, i went to school today. were you there? | |
yeah, i went to school today. were you there? no, i didn't go, i've been sick. | |
no, i didn't go, i've been sick. that sucks. did you want the assignments from english class? | |
that sucks. did you want the assignments from english class? that would be nice, thank you. | |
that would be nice, thank you. no problem, you're welcome. | |
no problem, you're welcome. i will be glad to do the same for you when you're sick. | |
i will be glad to do the same for you when you're sick. well, thank you. i hope to see you at school tomorrow. | |
have you attended school today? i attended school today. did you? | |
i attended school today. did you? i wasn't able to attend school because i was feeling ill. | |
i wasn't able to attend school because i was feeling ill. i'm sorry to hear that. would you like the assignments from english class? | |
i'm sorry to hear that. would you like the assignments from english class? i would really appreciate that, thanks. | |
i would really appreciate that, thanks. it's no trouble at all. | |
it's no trouble at all. if you get sick, i'll return the favor. | |
if you get sick, i'll return the favor. thanks. see you at school tomorrow if you feel better. | |
have you gone to school today? i went to school today. did you go to school? | |
i went to school today. did you go to school? i couldn't go to school today, i was sick. | |
i couldn't go to school today, i was sick. that's horrible. i'd be happy to give you the assignments from english class. | |
that's horrible. i'd be happy to give you the assignments from english class. thank you very much, that's kind of you. | |
thank you very much, that's kind of you. don't mention it. | |
don't mention it. when you miss a day of school, i'll be happy to give you the english assignments. | |
did you hear the news? what happened? | |
what happened? our cousin went into labor and had her baby last week. | |
our cousin went into labor and had her baby last week. she did? why didn't anyone tell me? | |
she did? why didn't anyone tell me? i would've thought that somebody would have told you. | |
i would've thought that somebody would have told you. no, i had no idea. | |
no, i had no idea. well, she did, her baby was 8 pounds 6 ounces. | |
well, she did, her baby was 8 pounds 6 ounces. oh my god, that's great! | |
oh my god, that's great! are you going to go and visit her and the baby? | |
are you going to go and visit her and the baby? i think that i might. | |
i think that i might. good! i just thought i'd let you know. | |
good! i just thought i'd let you know. thanks for telling me. | |
have you heard what happened? heard what? | |
heard what? debrah already had her baby. | |
debrah already had her baby. i didn't know that. | |
i didn't know that. i thought you knew. | |
i thought you knew. i honestly didn't know. | |
i honestly didn't know. the baby was 8 pounds 6 ounces. | |
the baby was 8 pounds 6 ounces. that's good to hear. | |
that's good to hear. will you go and visit them? | |
will you go and visit them? of course i will. | |
of course i will. i just wanted to give you the good news. | |
i just wanted to give you the good news. thanks for letting me know. | |
have you heard the news? i haven't heard anything. | |
i haven't heard anything. debrah had her baby last week. | |
debrah had her baby last week. nobody told me. | |
nobody told me. i thought you heard. | |
i thought you heard. i really wasn't told anything. | |
i really wasn't told anything. she was a cute 8 pounds 6 ounces. | |
she was a cute 8 pounds 6 ounces. wow, how exciting. | |
wow, how exciting. i know, you should really go and see her and the baby. | |
i know, you should really go and see her and the baby. of course i will. | |
of course i will. i just wanted to let you know what happened. | |
did you go to school today? of course. did you? | |
of course. did you? i didn't want to, so i didn't. | |
i didn't want to, so i didn't. that's sad, but have you gone to the movies recently? | |
that's sad, but have you gone to the movies recently? that's a switch. | |
that's a switch. i'm serious, have you? | |
i'm serious, have you? no, i haven't. why? | |
no, i haven't. why? i really want to go to the movies this weekend. | |
i really want to go to the movies this weekend. so go then. | |
so go then. i really don't want to go by myself. | |
i really don't want to go by myself. well anyway, do you plan on going to school tomorrow? | |
well anyway, do you plan on going to school tomorrow? no, i think i'm going to go to the movies. | |
did you make it to school today? i always do. did you go to school today? | |
i always do. did you go to school today? no, i didn't. | |
no, i didn't. you should have, but have you seen any movies lately? | |
you should have, but have you seen any movies lately? that was an odd change of subject. | |
that was an odd change of subject. maybe it was, but answer the question. | |
maybe it was, but answer the question. no, not recently. | |
no, not recently. i want to go to see a movie this weekend. | |
i want to go to see a movie this weekend. what's stopping you then? | |
what's stopping you then? i don't want to go alone. | |
i don't want to go alone. so, will you be at school tomorrow? | |
so, will you be at school tomorrow? no, i want to go to the movies instead. | |
did you even bother to go to school today? yeah, i went. did you go? | |
yeah, i went. did you go? no, i didn't feel like it. | |
no, i didn't feel like it. that's nice, have you been to the movies lately? | |
that's nice, have you been to the movies lately? no, but that was a random change of subject. | |
no, but that was a random change of subject. it may have been random, but have you? | |
it may have been random, but have you? i haven't lately. | |
i haven't lately. i would love to catch a movie this weekend. | |
i would love to catch a movie this weekend. so then, why don't you just go? | |
so then, why don't you just go? i don't want to see a movie by myself. | |
i don't want to see a movie by myself. okay, so are you going to school tomorrow? | |
thanks for coming to see me today. it's no problem. i was really missing you anyway. | |
it's no problem. i was really missing you anyway. i missed you too. | |
i missed you too. why haven't you tried to come see me then? | |
why haven't you tried to come see me then? i've been really busy. | |
i've been really busy. doing what? | |
doing what? working. | |
working. i would've come to see you sooner, but i've been busy too. | |
i would've come to see you sooner, but i've been busy too. what have you been doing? | |
what have you been doing? i've been working too. | |
i've been working too. well regardless, i'm very happy that you came to see me. | |
well regardless, i'm very happy that you came to see me. i am too. | |
i'm really glad that you came to see me. i had to. i was missing you a lot. | |
i had to. i was missing you a lot. i was missing you too. | |
i was missing you too. so, why haven't you visited me? | |
so, why haven't you visited me? i've actually been busy lately. | |
i've actually been busy lately. what have you been doing? | |
what have you been doing? i've just been working really hard. | |
i've just been working really hard. i've also been busy. | |
i've also been busy. tell me what you've been doing. | |
tell me what you've been doing. basically, i've been working too. | |
basically, i've been working too. well whatever, i'm glad you came. | |
well whatever, i'm glad you came. so am i. | |
i'm really happy that you came to visit me. i really missed you a lot. | |
i really missed you a lot. i've been missing you like crazy. | |
i've been missing you like crazy. i don't understand why you haven't come to visit me. | |
i don't understand why you haven't come to visit me. lately, i've been quite busy. | |
lately, i've been quite busy. tell me what you've been up to. | |
tell me what you've been up to. i've really been working a lot lately. | |
i've really been working a lot lately. i've been pretty busy myself. | |
i've been pretty busy myself. so what have you been up to? | |
so what have you been up to? i've just been working a lot. | |
i've just been working a lot. whatever the reason may be, i'm glad you visited me. | |
hey, did you hear about jessica's party this weekend? yeah, but i'm still waiting for my invitation. | |
yeah, but i'm still waiting for my invitation. oh really? she gave me mine earlier today. | |
oh really? she gave me mine earlier today. well, she'll probably just give me my invitation later on today. | |
well, she'll probably just give me my invitation later on today. yeah, so are you planning on going? | |
yeah, so are you planning on going? i think so. it sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun. | |
i think so. it sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun. it really does, i can't wait. | |
it really does, i can't wait. what time does the party start? | |
what time does the party start? it starts at 8 o'clock. | |
it starts at 8 o'clock. oh, well, how many people has she given invites to so far? | |
oh, well, how many people has she given invites to so far? i'm not sure, but i don't think she's given out that many. | |
i'm not sure, but i don't think she's given out that many. well, hopefully she'll give me my invite later on today. | |
have you heard about jessica's party on saturday? i've heard about it, but i'm still waiting for my invitation. | |
i've heard about it, but i'm still waiting for my invitation. really? i got mine from her this morning. | |
really? i got mine from her this morning. i'm guessing that she's going to give me my invite today or tomorrow. | |
i'm guessing that she's going to give me my invite today or tomorrow. you're probably right, do you intend on going to the party? | |
you're probably right, do you intend on going to the party? i want to. i heard it's going to be really fun. | |
i want to. i heard it's going to be really fun. i know, it does sound pretty awesome. | |
i know, it does sound pretty awesome. well, when does the party start? | |
well, when does the party start? it's supposed to start at about eight. | |
it's supposed to start at about eight. how many invitations has she given out? | |
how many invitations has she given out? i really don't know, but i don't think she gave out that many yet. | |
i really don't know, but i don't think she gave out that many yet. i really want to go, so i hope that she gives me my invite soon. | |
has anyone told you about jessica's party coming up? i was told about it already. i'm just waiting for my invitation. | |
i was told about it already. i'm just waiting for my invitation. is that right? i already got my invitation from her earlier. | |
is that right? i already got my invitation from her earlier. i believe that she will give me the invitation today. | |
i believe that she will give me the invitation today. are you even going to go? | |
are you even going to go? yeah, it sounds like it's going to be the best party of the year. | |
yeah, it sounds like it's going to be the best party of the year. exactly, it seems like it's going to be loads of fun. | |
exactly, it seems like it's going to be loads of fun. when exactly does the party start? | |
when exactly does the party start? the invitation says it starts at 8:00 p.m. | |
the invitation says it starts at 8:00 p.m. has she given out a lot of invitations yet? | |
has she given out a lot of invitations yet? i have no idea, she hasn't given out many though. | |
hey, what's up? nothing really. | |
nothing really. i'm throwing a party on friday. | |
i'm throwing a party on friday. i didn't realize that. | |
i didn't realize that. you didn't? | |
you didn't? nobody has told me anything about your party. | |
nobody has told me anything about your party. did you want to go? | |
did you want to go? when does it start? | |
when does it start? at 8:00 p.m. | |
at 8:00 p.m. i'll be there. | |
i'll be there. i'd better see you there. | |
i'd better see you there. of course. | |
what's going on with you? fine. what's going on with you? | |
fine. what's going on with you? i'm having a party this friday. | |
i'm having a party this friday. i had no idea. | |
i had no idea. is that right? | |
is that right? i didn't hear anything about it. | |
i didn't hear anything about it. can you go? | |
can you go? what time? | |
what time? it starts at 8 o'clock. | |
it starts at 8 o'clock. i'll go. | |
i'll go. i hope that i'll see you there. | |
i hope that i'll see you there. no doubt. | |
what's going on? not much. | |
not much. this friday, i'm throwing a party. | |
this friday, i'm throwing a party. oh really? i didn't know that. | |
oh really? i didn't know that. are you serious? | |
are you serious? i haven't heard anything about it. | |
i haven't heard anything about it. can you make it? | |
can you make it? what time does it start? | |
what time does it start? the party starts at 8. | |
the party starts at 8. yeah, i think i'll go. | |
yeah, i think i'll go. am i going to see you there? | |
what's going on? nothing really, you? | |
nothing really, you? i'm throwing a party next saturday. | |
i'm throwing a party next saturday. is that right? | |
is that right? yeah, are you going to come? | |
yeah, are you going to come? i'm sorry, i can't. | |
i'm sorry, i can't. why not? | |
why not? i don't really want to. | |
i don't really want to. well, why don't you? | |
well, why don't you? i hate going to parties. | |
i hate going to parties. well, that's okay. | |
well, that's okay. yeah, sorry. | |
what's up? nothing, how about you? | |
nothing, how about you? next saturday, i'm going to have a party. | |
next saturday, i'm going to have a party. oh, really? | |
oh, really? you are coming? | |
you are coming? probably not. | |
probably not. why is that? | |
why is that? i don't feel like going. | |
i don't feel like going. why not? | |
why not? i really can't stand going to parties. | |
i really can't stand going to parties. i understand, i guess. | |
i understand, i guess. sorry about that. | |
what's happening? not a lot, what about you? | |
not a lot, what about you? i'm having a party next saturday. | |
i'm having a party next saturday. that's nice. | |
that's nice. are you going to be there? | |
are you going to be there? i don't think so. | |
i don't think so. is there a reason why? | |
is there a reason why? i just really don't want to go. | |
i just really don't want to go. how come? | |
how come? i don't really like parties. | |
i don't really like parties. i wish you would go, but that's okay. | |
what's up? nothing much, what's going on? | |
nothing much, what's going on? i'm having a party this friday. | |
i'm having a party this friday. oh, really? that's nice. | |
oh, really? that's nice. i wanted to see if you wanted to come. | |
i wanted to see if you wanted to come. this friday? sorry, i already have plans. | |
this friday? sorry, i already have plans. doing what? | |
doing what? i'm going to dinner with my family. | |
i'm going to dinner with my family. i really wanted you to come, but i understand. | |
i really wanted you to come, but i understand. yeah, maybe next time. | |
yeah, maybe next time. i'll hold you to that. | |
i'll hold you to that. sounds like a plan. | |
hey, what's good with you? not a lot. what about you? | |
not a lot. what about you? i'm throwing a party on friday. | |
i'm throwing a party on friday. that sounds like fun. | |
that sounds like fun. do you think you can come? | |
do you think you can come? i'm sorry. i'm already doing something this friday. | |
i'm sorry. i'm already doing something this friday. what are you going to be doing? | |
what are you going to be doing? my family and i are going to dinner. | |
my family and i are going to dinner. i was hoping you would come. | |
i was hoping you would come. i'll definitely try to make it the next time. | |
i'll definitely try to make it the next time. i'd better see you there. | |
i'd better see you there. all right. i'll see you next time. | |
what's going on? nothing really. how about you? | |
nothing really. how about you? a lot, like the party i'm having on friday. | |
a lot, like the party i'm having on friday. well, that's cool. | |
well, that's cool. will you be able to make it? | |
will you be able to make it? i'm busy this friday. i'm sorry. | |
i'm busy this friday. i'm sorry. what do you have to do? | |
what do you have to do? i'm having dinner with my family | |
i'm having dinner with my family maybe you can come next time. | |
maybe you can come next time. i'll make sure and come to your next party. | |
i'll make sure and come to your next party. i'll look for you at my next party. | |
it was nice talking to you. why are you trying to rush me off the phone? | |
why are you trying to rush me off the phone? i really have to go. | |
i really have to go. why? i still wanted to talk to you. | |
why? i still wanted to talk to you. i have things to do. | |
i have things to do. like what? | |
like what? don't be nosey. | |
don't be nosey. i'm not. i just want to know. | |
i'm not. i just want to know. well, it's really none of your business. | |
well, it's really none of your business. that's harsh. | |
that's harsh. i'm sorry, but i have to go. | |
i'm sorry, but i have to go. fine. | |
i've enjoyed conversing with you. is there a reason why you're trying to get off the phone so fast? | |
is there a reason why you're trying to get off the phone so fast? i've got to go. | |
i've got to go. i wasn't done talking to you. | |
i wasn't done talking to you. i have to do some things, and besides, it's not polite to be nosey. | |
i have to do some things, and besides, it's not polite to be nosey. i'm not being nosey. i'm just asking. | |
i'm not being nosey. i'm just asking. i really don't think it's any of your business. | |
i really don't think it's any of your business. that's not nice. | |
that's not nice. i apologize, but i'm getting off the phone now. | |
i apologize, but i'm getting off the phone now. okay. | |
i'll talk to you later. what's the rush? | |
what's the rush? i have to get off the phone now. | |
i have to get off the phone now. i'm not ready to get off the phone with you. | |
i'm not ready to get off the phone with you. there are other things i need to take care of. | |
there are other things i need to take care of. what is it that you need to do? | |
what is it that you need to do? please don't be nosey. | |
please don't be nosey. i'm not being nosey, it's just a question. | |
i'm not being nosey, it's just a question. you don't need to worry about that. | |
you don't need to worry about that. that was mean to say. | |
that was mean to say. i am very sorry, but i must go. | |
well, it was nice talking to you. it was nice talking to you too. | |
it was nice talking to you too. we should really hang out again. | |
we should really hang out again. that would be fun. | |
that would be fun. where do you want to go? | |
where do you want to go? i think we should go out to eat. | |
i think we should go out to eat. that sounds good. | |
that sounds good. all right, so i'll see you then. | |
all right, so i'll see you then. i'll call you later. | |
i'll call you later. okay, i'll talk to you later then. | |
okay, i'll talk to you later then. see you later. | |
see you later. bye. | |
i enjoyed talking to you. i enjoyed talking to you too. | |
i enjoyed talking to you too. we should hang out some time. | |
we should hang out some time. i think that would be nice. | |
i think that would be nice. is there anything you would like to do next time? | |
is there anything you would like to do next time? do you want to go out to eat? | |
do you want to go out to eat? i'd like that. | |
i'd like that. so i'll see you next time. | |
so i'll see you next time. i'm going to call you soon. | |
i'm going to call you soon. i'll talk to you later. | |
i'll talk to you later. see you soon. | |
see you soon. goodbye. | |
i had fun talking to you. it was really nice talking to you also. | |
it was really nice talking to you also. i think we should really do something sometime. | |
i think we should really do something sometime. that should be loads of fun. | |
that should be loads of fun. what do you want to do next time? | |
what do you want to do next time? would you like to go to dinner or something? | |
would you like to go to dinner or something? yeah, let's do that. | |
yeah, let's do that. okay, until next time then. | |
okay, until next time then. i'll call you so we can set that up. | |
i'll call you so we can set that up. talk to you then. | |
talk to you then. all right, see you. | |
where do you live? i live in pasadena. | |
i live in pasadena. where is pasadena? | |
where is pasadena? it's in california. | |
it's in california. is it in northern california? | |
is it in northern california? no. it's in southern california. | |
no. it's in southern california. is pasadena a big city? | |
is pasadena a big city? it's pretty big. | |
it's pretty big. how big is "pretty big"? | |
how big is "pretty big"? it has about 140,000 people. | |
it has about 140,000 people. how big is los angeles? | |
how big is los angeles? it has about 3 million people. | |
do you have a car? yes, i do. | |
yes, i do. what kind of car do you have? | |
what kind of car do you have? i have a honda. | |
i have a honda. is it new? | |
is it new? it was new in 2003. | |
it was new in 2003. so, it's pretty old now. | |
so, it's pretty old now. yes, it is. but it still looks good. | |
yes, it is. but it still looks good. do you take good care of it? | |
do you take good care of it? oh, yes. i wash it once a week. | |
oh, yes. i wash it once a week. do you change the oil? | |
do you change the oil? my mechanic changes the oil twice a year. | |
do you have a girlfriend? no, i don't. do you? | |
no, i don't. do you? i don't have a girlfriend, either. | |
i don't have a girlfriend, either. why not? | |
why not? i don't know. maybe i'm not rich enough. | |
i don't know. maybe i'm not rich enough. girls like guys with money. | |
girls like guys with money. they sure do. | |
they sure do. they like guys with new cars. | |
they like guys with new cars. i don't have money or a new car. | |
i don't have money or a new car. me, neither. | |
me, neither. but girls like guys who are funny. | |
but girls like guys who are funny. maybe we should learn some good jokes. | |
where are you going? i have to walk the dog. | |
i have to walk the dog. what kind of dog do you have? | |
what kind of dog do you have? i have a little poodle. | |
i have a little poodle. poodles bark a lot. | |
poodles bark a lot. they sure do. | |
they sure do. they bark at everything. | |
they bark at everything. they never shut up. | |
they never shut up. why did you get a poodle? | |
why did you get a poodle? it's my mom's dog. | |
it's my mom's dog. so she likes poodles. | |
so she likes poodles. she says they're good watchdogs. | |
can i borrow $5? sure. why do you need it? | |
sure. why do you need it? i want to buy lunch. | |
i want to buy lunch. where's your money? | |
where's your money? it's not in my wallet. | |
it's not in my wallet. your wallet is empty? | |
your wallet is empty? i don't have even one dollar in it. | |
i don't have even one dollar in it. being broke is no fun. | |
being broke is no fun. even if it's only for a short while. | |
even if it's only for a short while. it's always good to have friends. | |
it's always good to have friends. friends will lend you money when you're broke. | |
friends will lend you money when you're broke. as long as you pay them back. | |
let's go to the beach. that's a great idea. | |
that's a great idea. we haven't been in a while. | |
we haven't been in a while. we haven't been in a month. | |
we haven't been in a month. the last time we went, you almost drowned. | |
the last time we went, you almost drowned. no, i didn't. | |
no, i didn't. then why did the lifeguard dive into the water? | |
then why did the lifeguard dive into the water? i think he wanted to cool off. | |
i think he wanted to cool off. he swam right up to you. | |
he swam right up to you. and then he turned right around. | |
and then he turned right around. maybe you're right. | |
maybe you're right. maybe we should get going. | |
are you married? no. i'm divorced. | |
no. i'm divorced. when did you get divorced? | |
when did you get divorced? i got divorced two years ago. | |
i got divorced two years ago. why did you get divorced? | |
why did you get divorced? my wife left me. | |
my wife left me. why did she leave you? | |
why did she leave you? she said she didn't love me anymore. | |
she said she didn't love me anymore. wow! that's terrible. | |
wow! that's terrible. yes, it was. | |
yes, it was. why didn't she love you anymore? | |
why didn't she love you anymore? she fell in love with my best friend. | |
i'm bored. what's on tv? | |
what's on tv? nothing. | |
nothing. there must be something on tv! | |
there must be something on tv! nothing that's interesting. | |
nothing that's interesting. what about that new game show? | |
what about that new game show? which one? | |
which one? "deal or no deal" | |
"deal or no deal" tell me you're joking. | |
tell me you're joking. i love that show. | |
i love that show. i watched it once. that was enough. | |
i watched it once. that was enough. it's on right now. let's watch it together. | |
i like living here. i agree. pasadena is a nice city. | |
i agree. pasadena is a nice city. it's not too big. | |
it's not too big. and it's not too small. | |
and it's not too small. it has great weather all year long. | |
it has great weather all year long. it has the rose parade. | |
it has the rose parade. it has beautiful houses. | |
it has beautiful houses. it has wonderful restaurants. | |
it has wonderful restaurants. it has great schools. | |
it has great schools. it's close to the mountains. | |
it's close to the mountains. the people are friendly. | |
the people are friendly. i'm not ever going to leave. | |
we need a new mattress. what's the matter with this one? | |
what's the matter with this one? it's not comfortable. | |
it's not comfortable. it seems fine to me. | |
it seems fine to me. i toss and turn all night. | |
i toss and turn all night. you should stop drinking coffee. | |
you should stop drinking coffee. look at these marks on my arms. | |
look at these marks on my arms. what are they? | |
what are they? they are bites. | |
they are bites. did the cat bite you? | |
did the cat bite you? no. the bedbugs in that mattress bit me. | |
no. the bedbugs in that mattress bit me. okay. let's get a new mattress. | |
my laptop is so slow. buy a new one. | |
buy a new one. i would if i had the money. | |
i would if i had the money. why is it so slow? | |
why is it so slow? that's a good question. | |
that's a good question. did you take it to a computer shop? | |
did you take it to a computer shop? i would if i had the money. | |
i would if i had the money. well, i guess you have to live with it. | |
well, i guess you have to live with it. sometimes i want to throw it out the window. | |
sometimes i want to throw it out the window. you don't want to do that. | |
you don't want to do that. why not? | |
why not? you might hit someone in the head. | |
what's for dinner? i'm not sure. | |
i'm not sure. how about a pizza? | |
how about a pizza? you had pizza for lunch. | |
you had pizza for lunch. but i love pizza. | |
but i love pizza. everybody loves pizza. | |
everybody loves pizza. so why can't i have pizza for dinner? | |
so why can't i have pizza for dinner? because you need variety. | |
because you need variety. what's "variety? | |
what's "variety? different thingsnot the same thing all the time. | |
different thingsnot the same thing all the time. you mean, like a pepperoni pizza instead of a cheese pizza? | |
you mean, like a pepperoni pizza instead of a cheese pizza? no, i mean a salad instead of a pizza. | |
we need to save money. why do we need to save money? | |
why do we need to save money? because we need to buy a house. | |
because we need to buy a house. but a house is so expensive. | |
but a house is so expensive. that's why we need to save money. | |
that's why we need to save money. how much do we need to save? | |
how much do we need to save? we need to save enough for a down payment. | |
we need to save enough for a down payment. how much is that? | |
how much is that? that's about $30,000. | |
that's about $30,000. thirty thousand dollars! that will take forever. | |
thirty thousand dollars! that will take forever. not if we save every penny. | |
not if we save every penny. okay. here's seven pennies. | |
the ocean is so big. you can't see the end of it. | |
you can't see the end of it. it goes on and on forever. | |
it goes on and on forever. and it's deep, too. | |
and it's deep, too. i think it's five miles deep. | |
i think it's five miles deep. are there fish at the bottom? | |
are there fish at the bottom? there are fish at the top and the bottom. | |
there are fish at the top and the bottom. are there more fish or more people? | |
are there more fish or more people? i think there are more fish. | |
i think there are more fish. i hope so. i love to eat fish. | |
i'm upset with my mom. why is that? | |
why is that? i warned her about her new boyfriend. she didn't listen to me. | |
i warned her about her new boyfriend. she didn't listen to me. what happened? | |
what happened? i gave her $1,000 for her birthday. i told her to spend it on herself. | |
i gave her $1,000 for her birthday. i told her to spend it on herself. that was very nice of you. | |
that was very nice of you. i found out that she gave it to her new boyfriend. | |
i found out that she gave it to her new boyfriend. why did she do that? | |
why did she do that? he said he would buy her a nice ring. | |
he said he would buy her a nice ring. what's wrong with that? | |
what's wrong with that? he went to las vegas. he lost it all gambling. | |
he went to las vegas. he lost it all gambling. i hope your mom broke up with him. | |
do animals talk to each other? of course they talk to each other. | |
of course they talk to each other. what do they talk about? | |
what do they talk about? they talk about other animals. | |
they talk about other animals. what else do they talk about? | |
what else do they talk about? they talk about food and the weather. | |
they talk about food and the weather. do they talk about us? | |
do they talk about us? of course they talk about us. | |
of course they talk about us. what do they say about us? | |
what do they say about us? they say that we are funny-looking. | |
they say that we are funny-looking. ha! we're not funny-looking; animals are funny-looking. | |
ha! we're not funny-looking; animals are funny-looking. we're funny-looking because we wear clothes. | |
i have to clean the house. yes, it's very dirty. | |
yes, it's very dirty. you can help me. | |
you can help me. why me? | |
why me? because you helped make it dirty. | |
because you helped make it dirty. what do you want me to do? | |
what do you want me to do? i want you to clean the bathroom. | |
i want you to clean the bathroom. oh, that's easy. | |
oh, that's easy. clean the sink, the tub, the counter, and the toilet. | |
clean the sink, the tub, the counter, and the toilet. that's a lot of work. | |
that's a lot of work. tell me when you finish. | |
tell me when you finish. i don't think so. you'll just give me more work. | |
you're watching too much tv. what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? i mean you're wasting your life. | |
i mean you're wasting your life. i'm having fun. | |
i'm having fun. you're sitting there with your mouth open. | |
you're sitting there with your mouth open. who cares? | |
who cares? i care. do something. | |
i care. do something. okay. i did something. | |
okay. i did something. what did you do? | |
what did you do? i turned up the volume. | |
i turned up the volume. that's not what i meant by "do something." | |
that's not what i meant by "do something." will you do something? leave me alone. | |
did you write a letter to grandma? yes, i did. | |
yes, i did. did you tell her about school? | |
did you tell her about school? i told her that school is fun. | |
i told her that school is fun. did you put the letter in an envelope? | |
did you put the letter in an envelope? yes, and i sealed the envelope. | |
yes, and i sealed the envelope. did you put a stamp on the envelope? | |
did you put a stamp on the envelope? i couldn't find any stamps. | |
i couldn't find any stamps. they're in the kitchen drawer. | |
they're in the kitchen drawer. okay. i just put a stamp on the envelope. | |
okay. i just put a stamp on the envelope. give me the envelope, and i'll mail it for you. | |
give me the envelope, and i'll mail it for you. when is grandma going to learn about e-mail? | |
why are you yawning? i'm sleepy. | |
i'm sleepy. why don't you go to bed? | |
why don't you go to bed? i want to watch this tv show. | |
i want to watch this tv show. maybe you should record it. | |
maybe you should record it. the tape recorder is broken. | |
the tape recorder is broken. then you should watch the rerun. | |
then you should watch the rerun. why? i'm watching the original. | |
why? i'm watching the original. but you'll be asleep in about one minute. | |
but you'll be asleep in about one minute. i'm just yawning because the commercials are on. | |
i'm just yawning because the commercials are on. okay. i'll tell you how the show ends. | |
okay. i'll tell you how the show ends. zzz. | |
it's sunday. so? | |
so? you know what that means. | |
you know what that means. i forgot. | |
i forgot. sunday means we go to church. | |
sunday means we go to church. oh, yeah. | |
oh, yeah. put on a coat and tie. | |
put on a coat and tie. why? | |
why? to show respect to god and others. | |
to show respect to god and others. i'm glad sunday is only once a week. | |
i'm glad sunday is only once a week. i hope god didn't hear that. | |
i hope god didn't hear that. he'll forgive me. | |
did you feed the cat? i'll do that in a minute. | |
i'll do that in a minute. the cat is meowing. he's hungry. | |
the cat is meowing. he's hungry. okay. i'll feed him right now. | |
okay. i'll feed him right now. you shouldn't make him wait. | |
you shouldn't make him wait. i was doing my homework. | |
i was doing my homework. the cat doesn't care about your homework. | |
the cat doesn't care about your homework. the cat doesn't care about anything. | |
the cat doesn't care about anything. that's the way cats are. | |
that's the way cats are. all they think about is themselves. | |
all they think about is themselves. maybe we should get rid of him. | |
maybe we should get rid of him. of course not! he's family. | |
i hate shaving. me too. | |
me too. i just cut myself again. | |
i just cut myself again. did you use a new blade? | |
did you use a new blade? it doesn't matter. old blades cut, new blades cut. | |
it doesn't matter. old blades cut, new blades cut. maybe you should use an electric shaver. | |
maybe you should use an electric shaver. they make a lot of noise, but they don't give a close shave. | |
they make a lot of noise, but they don't give a close shave. maybe you should stop shaving. | |
maybe you should stop shaving. and grow a beard? | |
and grow a beard? sure. why not? | |
sure. why not? because food and other stuff sticks in my beard. | |
because food and other stuff sticks in my beard. hmm. here's an idea. put cream on your face and have the cat lick it off. | |
excuse me. yes? | |
yes? are you reading this paper? | |
are you reading this paper? oh, no. help yourself. | |
oh, no. help yourself. i asked because the paper is sitting next to you. | |
i asked because the paper is sitting next to you. thank you. that's polite of you to ask. | |
thank you. that's polite of you to ask. some people would just pick it up. | |
some people would just pick it up. yes, i know. some people are rude. | |
yes, i know. some people are rude. i always try to be polite. | |
i always try to be polite. so do i. | |
so do i. the world needs more polite people like us. | |
the world needs more polite people like us. i agree 100 percent. | |
mom, i want a puppy. let me think about it. | |
let me think about it. why do you have to think about it? | |
why do you have to think about it? because a puppy costs money. | |
because a puppy costs money. no, it doesn't. puppies are free. | |
no, it doesn't. puppies are free. yes, but a puppy needs shots. | |
yes, but a puppy needs shots. shots for what? | |
shots for what? so it won't get sick. just like you get shots. | |
so it won't get sick. just like you get shots. i hate shots. | |
i hate shots. and a puppy eats food. food costs money. | |
and a puppy eats food. food costs money. no problem. i'll give him food off my plate. | |
no problem. i'll give him food off my plate. oh, no you don't. puppies don't eat vegetables. | |
look at all these kittens! how many are there? | |
how many are there? eight. | |
eight. they're all so cute. | |
they're all so cute. yes, but i can't keep them. | |
yes, but i can't keep them. what are you going to do with them? | |
what are you going to do with them? i'm going to give them away. do you want one? | |
i'm going to give them away. do you want one? yes, i would love one. | |
yes, i would love one. which one do you want? | |
which one do you want? that one. the one that's all black. | |
that one. the one that's all black. yes, i like that one, too. | |
yes, i like that one, too. i'll call him blacky. | |
my parents go to church every sunday. they trust in god. | |
they trust in god. they hope they will go to heaven. | |
they hope they will go to heaven. they probably will. | |
they probably will. but no one knows for sure. | |
but no one knows for sure. that's for sure. | |
that's for sure. no one knows what happens after we die. | |
no one knows what happens after we die. if we are good, we will be happy in heaven with god. | |
if we are good, we will be happy in heaven with god. that's what many people believe. | |
that's what many people believe. if we are bad, we will be unhappy forever in hell. | |
if we are bad, we will be unhappy forever in hell. i don't want to go to hell. | |
i don't want to go to hell. let's go to church with your parents on sunday. | |
my husband died. i'm sorry for you. | |
i'm sorry for you. thank you. | |
thank you. when did he die? | |
when did he die? a couple of months ago. | |
a couple of months ago. you still miss him. | |
you still miss him. yes, but i talk to him almost every day. | |
yes, but i talk to him almost every day. when you go to church? | |
when you go to church? no, when i call him on his cell phone. | |
no, when i call him on his cell phone. what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? i buried him with his cell phone. | |
i buried him with his cell phone. what will you do when the battery dies? | |
today is friday the thirteenth. that's a bad day. | |
that's a bad day. it's supposed to be unlucky. | |
it's supposed to be unlucky. you're supposed to stay home all day. | |
you're supposed to stay home all day. that's what i do. | |
that's what i do. my friend stayed in a hotel on friday the thirteenth. | |
my friend stayed in a hotel on friday the thirteenth. that was a mistake. | |
that was a mistake. he stayed on the thirteenth floor. | |
he stayed on the thirteenth floor. what happened? | |
what happened? someone stole his laptop. | |
someone stole his laptop. he was asking for it. | |
he was asking for it. he learned his lesson. he's home today. | |
do you really love me? of course. | |
of course. prove it. | |
prove it. how can i prove it? | |
how can i prove it? take me to dinner. | |
take me to dinner. that's it? that's all i have to do? | |
that's it? that's all i have to do? take me to a nice restaurant, not to mcdonald's. | |
take me to a nice restaurant, not to mcdonald's. but a nice restaurant costs money. | |
but a nice restaurant costs money. yes, and you have to make a reservation. | |
yes, and you have to make a reservation. that's such a hassle. | |
that's such a hassle. i knew you didn't love me. | |
i knew you didn't love me. okay, okay! i'll make a reservation right now. | |
my parents are divorced. so are mine. | |
so are mine. why did your parents get divorced? | |
why did your parents get divorced? my father found a new girlfriend. | |
my father found a new girlfriend. that's too bad. | |
that's too bad. my mother was hurt and angry. | |
my mother was hurt and angry. she had good reason. what did she do? | |
she had good reason. what did she do? she told him to drop his girlfriend. | |
she told him to drop his girlfriend. what did your father do? | |
what did your father do? he moved out of our house. | |
he moved out of our house. i guess he really liked his new girlfriend. | |
i guess he really liked his new girlfriend. yes, but she left him a year later. | |
my grandma's apartment smells funny. so does mine. | |
so does mine. i think it's an old people's smell. | |
i think it's an old people's smell. really? | |
really? yes. i think when you get old, you begin to smell. | |
yes. i think when you get old, you begin to smell. like fruit that is too ripe? | |
like fruit that is too ripe? yes, just like fruit that is too ripe. | |
yes, just like fruit that is too ripe. but the smell is different. | |
but the smell is different. yes, old people don't smell like fruit. | |
yes, old people don't smell like fruit. no, they smell like a thrift shop. | |
no, they smell like a thrift shop. yes, a thrift shop has that same smell. | |
yes, a thrift shop has that same smell. yes, an old smell. | |
the price of stamps goes up and up. i think stamps used to cost a penny. | |
i think stamps used to cost a penny. that was a long time ago. | |
that was a long time ago. it was before i was born. | |
it was before i was born. now a stamp is 42 cents. | |
now a stamp is 42 cents. but in may it will be 44 cents. | |
but in may it will be 44 cents. have you ever lost a letter in the mail? | |
have you ever lost a letter in the mail? no, i haven't. | |
no, i haven't. neither have i. | |
neither have i. so, they do a good job for the money. | |
so, they do a good job for the money. yes, they do. | |
yes, they do. maybe we shouldn't complain. | |
a button came off my shirt. what are you going to do? | |
what are you going to do? first, i have to find the button. | |
first, i have to find the button. where did you lose it? | |
where did you lose it? i have no idea. | |
i have no idea. a button is hard to find. did you look in your pant cuffs? | |
a button is hard to find. did you look in your pant cuffs? that's a good idea. | |
that's a good idea. i found a button in my pant cuffs one time. | |
i found a button in my pant cuffs one time. let me look. no, it's not there. | |
let me look. no, it's not there. many shirts come with an extra button. | |
many shirts come with an extra button. you're right. this one does have an extra button. | |
you're right. this one does have an extra button. now all you have to do is sew it on. | |
i have to go to the bathroom. you drink too much coffee. | |
you drink too much coffee. but i love coffee. | |
but i love coffee. well, it's your life. | |
well, it's your life. you eat too much chocolate. | |
you eat too much chocolate. i don't think so. | |
i don't think so. have you looked in the mirror? | |
have you looked in the mirror? do you think i'm getting fat? | |
do you think i'm getting fat? i didn't say that. | |
i didn't say that. what did you say? | |
what did you say? i said i have to go to the bathroom. | |
i said i have to go to the bathroom. that's what i thought you said. | |
did you do the laundry? yes, i did. | |
yes, i did. what did you wash? | |
what did you wash? i washed the sheets and towels. | |
i washed the sheets and towels. what about the pillowcases? | |
what about the pillowcases? yes, i took them off the pillows and washed them. | |
yes, i took them off the pillows and washed them. did you dry everything in the dryer? | |
did you dry everything in the dryer? yes, i dried everything in the dryer. | |
yes, i dried everything in the dryer. then what did you do? | |
then what did you do? i folded all the towels. | |
i folded all the towels. did you put the sheets on the beds? | |
did you put the sheets on the beds? yes, and i put the pillowcases on the pillows. | |
do you listen to the radio? i listen day and night. | |
i listen day and night. what do you listen to? | |
what do you listen to? mostly talk radio. | |
mostly talk radio. what's that? | |
what's that? people talk about current events. | |
people talk about current events. what do they say? | |
what do they say? they say they want change. | |
they say they want change. what kind of change? | |
what kind of change? they want tax cuts. | |
they want tax cuts. why do they want tax cuts? | |
why do they want tax cuts? because tax cuts will save them money. | |
mom, i'm hungry. look in the fridge. | |
look in the fridge. i'm looking. there's nothing to eat. | |
i'm looking. there's nothing to eat. are you sure? | |
are you sure? it's almost empty. | |
it's almost empty. i went to the market yesterday. | |
i went to the market yesterday. i don't see anything. | |
i don't see anything. i bought lots of oranges and apples. | |
i bought lots of oranges and apples. i don't want fruit. i want something tasty. | |
i don't want fruit. i want something tasty. eat the fruit. it's good for you. | |
eat the fruit. it's good for you. next time you go to the market, let me go with you. | |
next time you go to the market, let me go with you. no, thank you. all you want to eat are hot dogs and candy bars. | |
what is there to eat? i don't know. look in the fridge. | |
i don't know. look in the fridge. i think i'll make a sandwich. | |
i think i'll make a sandwich. what kind? | |
what kind? a ham sandwich. | |
a ham sandwich. the bread is in the cabinet. | |
the bread is in the cabinet. where's the mustard? | |
where's the mustard? it's in the fridge, i think. | |
it's in the fridge, i think. oh, yes, here it is. do you want a sandwich? | |
oh, yes, here it is. do you want a sandwich? yes, that sounds nice. | |
yes, that sounds nice. how about some potato chips? | |
how about some potato chips? yes. and a pickle, if we have any. | |
it's time for your bath, young lady. but, mom, i'm not dirty. | |
but, mom, i'm not dirty. you need a bath every day. | |
you need a bath every day. why? | |
why? because you don't want to smell bad. | |
because you don't want to smell bad. i don't smell bad. | |
i don't smell bad. that's what you think. | |
that's what you think. if i smelled bad, i could smell me. | |
if i smelled bad, i could smell me. i can smell you. | |
i can smell you. i can smell you, too. | |
i can smell you, too. that's my perfume. | |
that's my perfume. when can i wear perfume? | |
something's wrong with my computer. exactly what? | |
exactly what? all i get is a black screen. | |
all i get is a black screen. what's the matter? | |
what's the matter? i think i know, because this happened before. | |
i think i know, because this happened before. what happened before? | |
what happened before? my hard drive crashed. | |
my hard drive crashed. oh, no. that's bad news. | |
oh, no. that's bad news. it sure is, but i'm going to call hp first, just to make sure. | |
it sure is, but i'm going to call hp first, just to make sure. will you lose all your files? | |
will you lose all your files? no, i always back up my files. | |
no, i always back up my files. you're smart. | |
i called hp about my computer. what did they say? | |
what did they say? they said i need a new hard drive. | |
they said i need a new hard drive. that's too bad. how much is a new one? | |
that's too bad. how much is a new one? it's not too much, only about $85. | |
it's not too much, only about $85. plus installation? | |
plus installation? no, my hard drive is easy to remove and replace. | |
no, my hard drive is easy to remove and replace. really? | |
really? yes, it's just a couple of screws. | |
yes, it's just a couple of screws. that's nice. | |
that's nice. it's a lot better than paying someone $60. | |
it's a lot better than paying someone $60. if my hard drive crashes, i'll just call you. | |
what's your email address? it's bluedog123. | |
it's bluedog123. bluedog123. are you sure that's all? | |
bluedog123. are you sure that's all? yes. | |
yes. no. that's incomplete. | |
no. that's incomplete. what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? what's your mailing address? | |
what's your mailing address? 456 cherry drive, pasadena, ca 91170. | |
456 cherry drive, pasadena, ca 91170. that's correct. | |
that's correct. so what's the problem? | |
so what's the problem? bluedog123 is just the street. you have to give me the city, state, and zip code. | |
bluedog123 is just the street. you have to give me the city, state, and zip code. oh, i get it. my email address is bluedog123@yahoo.com. | |
i'm going to take a nap. you should unplug the phone. | |
you should unplug the phone. that's a good idea. | |
that's a good idea. do you want me to wake you in an hour? | |
do you want me to wake you in an hour? no, thanks. just let me sleep until i wake up. | |
no, thanks. just let me sleep until i wake up. i'll start dinner at 6:00. | |
i'll start dinner at 6:00. okay. i think i'll be awake by then. | |
okay. i think i'll be awake by then. if not, your nose will wake you up. | |
if not, your nose will wake you up. you mean i will smell the food cooking? | |
you mean i will smell the food cooking? you might even dream about dinner. | |
you might even dream about dinner. i don't think i'm going to dream about anything. i'm really tired. | |
i don't think i'm going to dream about anything. i'm really tired. have a nice nap. | |
that was a nice funeral. yes, dad, it was. | |
yes, dad, it was. the son gave a nice speech about his father. | |
the son gave a nice speech about his father. it was long, too. | |
it was long, too. i think it was about 45 minutes long. | |
i think it was about 45 minutes long. but it went by fast. it was interesting. | |
but it went by fast. it was interesting. i liked it. | |
i liked it. i'll give you a speech like that, too. | |
i'll give you a speech like that, too. do you think anyone will come to my funeral? | |
do you think anyone will come to my funeral? of course. | |
of course. i think only the family will be there. | |
i think only the family will be there. you have lots of friends. they will be there, too! | |
yikes! what was that noise? i had to blow my nose. | |
i had to blow my nose. did you have to blow right next to the phone? | |
did you have to blow right next to the phone? did you hear that? | |
did you hear that? of course i heard that. i thought a plane had crashed into your house. | |
of course i heard that. i thought a plane had crashed into your house. it wasn't that loud. | |
it wasn't that loud. i will blow my nose sometime for you, and you'll see. | |
i will blow my nose sometime for you, and you'll see. okay. i'll take your word for it. | |
okay. i'll take your word for it. i thought you had an elephant in your house. | |
i thought you had an elephant in your house. you're funny. | |
you're funny. what did you say? i think i've gone deaf. | |
what did you say? i think i've gone deaf. i'm going into the bathroom to blow my nose. i'll be right back. | |
i have lots of friends. really? how many do you have? | |
really? how many do you have? i don't know, maybe one hundred. | |
i don't know, maybe one hundred. that is a lot of friends. do you have a best friend? | |
that is a lot of friends. do you have a best friend? of course. i have lots of best friends. | |
of course. i have lots of best friends. how many best friends do you have? | |
how many best friends do you have? i think about twenty-five. | |
i think about twenty-five. hmm. i have only one best friend. | |
hmm. i have only one best friend. i feel sorry for you. | |
i feel sorry for you. i have only a few friends. | |
i have only a few friends. you must be lonely. i will share my friends with you. | |
you must be lonely. i will share my friends with you. that's very nice of you. | |
don't you ever cheat on me. why would i do that? | |
why would i do that? because men like to cheat. | |
because men like to cheat. some men do, but not me. | |
some men do, but not me. i'm watching you. | |
i'm watching you. i'm an open book. watch me all you want. | |
i'm an open book. watch me all you want. if i catch you, you'll be sorry. | |
if i catch you, you'll be sorry. you won't catch me, because i love you. i'm not a cheater. | |
you won't catch me, because i love you. i'm not a cheater. i will poke your eyes out. | |
i will poke your eyes out. i don't want any other woman. | |
i don't want any other woman. i will chop your toes off, one by one. | |
i will chop your toes off, one by one. honey, please. you're the only woman for me, forever. i swear it. | |
i hate to go outside. me too. | |
me too. why do you hate to go outside? | |
why do you hate to go outside? i meet too many jerks. | |
i meet too many jerks. i agree. | |
i agree. this city is full of jerks. | |
this city is full of jerks. rude people are everywhere. | |
rude people are everywhere. but what can you do? | |
but what can you do? you can yell at them. | |
you can yell at them. and they will yell back at you. | |
and they will yell back at you. yelling doesn't do any good. | |
yelling doesn't do any good. no. the best thing to do is just stay home. | |
will you look at this form? are you having problems with it? | |
are you having problems with it? i don't understand some things. | |
i don't understand some things. let me help you. | |
let me help you. what does "mi" mean? | |
what does "mi" mean? "mi" stands for middle initial. | |
"mi" stands for middle initial. what does "mm/dd/yy" mean? | |
what does "mm/dd/yy" mean? that means month/day/year. use numbers. | |
that means month/day/year. use numbers. i don't understand. | |
i don't understand. for example, if your birth date is january 12, 1987, write 01/12/87. | |
for example, if your birth date is january 12, 1987, write 01/12/87. oh. that's simple enough. | |
oh. that's simple enough. always print clearly, and fill in the bubbles completely. | |
let's go to the animal shelter. what do you want to do? | |
what do you want to do? i want to get a puppy for my son. | |
i want to get a puppy for my son. that will make him so happy. | |
that will make him so happy. i'll get him one of those little dogs. | |
i'll get him one of those little dogs. one that won't grow up too big. | |
one that won't grow up too big. and eat too much. | |
and eat too much. do you know which one he would like? | |
do you know which one he would like? oh, yes, i took him there yesterday. he showed me one that he really liked. | |
oh, yes, i took him there yesterday. he showed me one that he really liked. i bet you had to drag him away. | |
i bet you had to drag him away. he wanted to take it home yesterday. | |
he wanted to take it home yesterday. i wonder what he'll name it. | |
what's the weather like? i don't know. i just woke up. | |
i don't know. i just woke up. why don't you look outside? | |
why don't you look outside? okay. it looks like rain. | |
okay. it looks like rain. why do you say that? | |
why do you say that? the sky is gray. | |
the sky is gray. is it raining right now? | |
is it raining right now? no. | |
no. how do you know? | |
how do you know? the street isn't wet. | |
the street isn't wet. i have to go shopping today. | |
i have to go shopping today. you'd better take an umbrella. | |
i can't believe how hot it is. it's not even noon yet. | |
it's not even noon yet. that means it will get hotter. | |
that means it will get hotter. i am dying from the heat. | |
i am dying from the heat. turn on the air conditioner. | |
turn on the air conditioner. it doesn't work. | |
it doesn't work. what happened? | |
what happened? i don't know. | |
i don't know. did you call the repairman? | |
did you call the repairman? of course. | |
of course. when is he coming? | |
when is he coming? he's busy. he said next week. | |
i'll be glad when winter comes. why is that? | |
why is that? because i love the snow. | |
because i love the snow. yes, the snow is fun. | |
yes, the snow is fun. last year we made a big snowman. | |
last year we made a big snowman. how big was it? | |
how big was it? it was seven feet tall. | |
it was seven feet tall. how long did it take? | |
how long did it take? it took us all day. | |
it took us all day. did you give him a nose? | |
did you give him a nose? of course. we gave him a big carrot for a nose. | |
of course. we gave him a big carrot for a nose. let me help you make one this year. | |
i'm going to the bank. what do you need to do? | |
what do you need to do? i need to withdraw some money. | |
i need to withdraw some money. how are you going to do that? | |
how are you going to do that? i'll just use the atm. | |
i'll just use the atm. what's that? | |
what's that? it's the automatic teller machine. | |
it's the automatic teller machine. it gives you money? | |
it gives you money? i just insert my debit card into the machine. | |
i just insert my debit card into the machine. and it gives you money? | |
and it gives you money? well, it gives me money, but it's my own money. | |
well, it gives me money, but it's my own money. oh. what good is that? i thought it gave you free money. | |
did you put the blue bin out on the street? oh, no. i forgot. | |
oh, no. i forgot. well, you'd better take it out front. | |
well, you'd better take it out front. what time does the recycle truck come by? | |
what time does the recycle truck come by? it usually gets here at noon on tuesday, which is tomorrow. | |
it usually gets here at noon on tuesday, which is tomorrow. i'll just take it out to the street tomorrow morning. | |
i'll just take it out to the street tomorrow morning. oh, no, you don't. | |
oh, no, you don't. what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? every morning you get up late and rush off to work late. | |
every morning you get up late and rush off to work late. do you think i'll forget to do it? | |
do you think i'll forget to do it? you'll remember to do it, but you won't have time to do it. | |
you'll remember to do it, but you won't have time to do it. okay, i'll take it out front right now. | |
are you ready? ready for what? | |
ready for what? ready for the big switch. | |
ready for the big switch. what are you talking about? | |
what are you talking about? the nation is switching to digital tv. | |
the nation is switching to digital tv. oh. of course i'm ready. | |
oh. of course i'm ready. did you buy the converter? | |
did you buy the converter? no, i don't need a converter because i bought a digital tv. | |
no, i don't need a converter because i bought a digital tv. how much was that? | |
how much was that? it was only about $120 for a 13-inch screen. | |
it was only about $120 for a 13-inch screen. does it pick up any digital channels? | |
does it pick up any digital channels? oh, yes. i get six korean channels but nothing in english! | |
people are funny. they sure are. | |
they sure are. did you hear about the pilot? | |
did you hear about the pilot? the one that stole a small plane? | |
the one that stole a small plane? yes, he stole a plane in canada and flew into the u.s. | |
yes, he stole a plane in canada and flew into the u.s. did they catch him? | |
did they catch him? yes. after two u.s. fighter jets followed him for an hour, he landed on a highway. | |
yes. after two u.s. fighter jets followed him for an hour, he landed on a highway. did he crash? | |
did he crash? no, he just landed the plane and walked to a restaurant. | |
no, he just landed the plane and walked to a restaurant. did the cops find out why he flew into the u.s.? | |
did the cops find out why he flew into the u.s.? his life sucked. he was hoping a fighter jet would shoot him down. | |
his life sucked. he was hoping a fighter jet would shoot him down. poor guy. | |
the police need our help finding a robber. how do you know? | |
how do you know? the tv news is reporting a bank robbery. | |
the tv news is reporting a bank robbery. do they know what the robber looks like? | |
do they know what the robber looks like? yes, he's 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, black hair, and about 30 years old. | |
yes, he's 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, black hair, and about 30 years old. what race is he? | |
what race is he? they didn't say. | |
they didn't say. the tv news doesn't tell us the race anymore. | |
the tv news doesn't tell us the race anymore. of course not. that would be racist. | |
of course not. that would be racist. but how can we identify someone if we don't know their race? | |
but how can we identify someone if we don't know their race? don't ask me. | |
don't ask me. then they also shouldn't tell us if the robber is male or female, because that is sexist. | |
don't wipe your nose on your sleeve. but i don't have a tissue. | |
but i don't have a tissue. then go find a tissue in the bathroom. | |
then go find a tissue in the bathroom. i didn't have time to get one from there. | |
i didn't have time to get one from there. your sleeves are not tissues. | |
your sleeves are not tissues. but mom, all my friends use their sleeves. | |
but mom, all my friends use their sleeves. that doesn't make it right. | |
that doesn't make it right. i saw dad wipe his nose on his sleeve yesterday. | |
i saw dad wipe his nose on his sleeve yesterday. i will talk to your father about that. | |
i will talk to your father about that. i bet dad did it all the time when he was my age. | |
i bet dad did it all the time when he was my age. your daddy was a good little boy. | |
your daddy was a good little boy. how do you know? were you his mommy, too? | |
i'm worried. worried about what? | |
worried about what? i'm getting married. | |
i'm getting married. you should be happy, not worried. | |
you should be happy, not worried. i am happy, but marriage is a lot of responsibility. | |
i am happy, but marriage is a lot of responsibility. yes, you have to take care of your wife. | |
yes, you have to take care of your wife. and i have to take care of our children. | |
and i have to take care of our children. are you going to start a family? | |
are you going to start a family? yes. we want to have a little boy and a little girl. | |
yes. we want to have a little boy and a little girl. that sounds wonderful. | |
that sounds wonderful. except we can't afford it! | |
except we can't afford it! no wonder you're worried. | |
i don't get art. or artists. | |
or artists. they're in a different world. | |
they're in a different world. i saw a painting of a jar that was full of pencils. | |
i saw a painting of a jar that was full of pencils. the artist said the jar was both full and empty. | |
the artist said the jar was both full and empty. but it was full of pencils! how could he say it was empty? | |
but it was full of pencils! how could he say it was empty? artists see things differently. | |
artists see things differently. did you ever see anything that picasso painted? | |
did you ever see anything that picasso painted? of course! he's world famous. | |
of course! he's world famous. did he ever take art lessons? | |
did he ever take art lessons? i can't believe it. i drew paintings like that in third grade. | |
i can't believe it. i drew paintings like that in third grade. where are they? maybe they are worth millions. | |
what's the point? the point of what? | |
the point of what? of living. | |
of living. who knows? you live, and then you die. | |
who knows? you live, and then you die. we must be here for some reason. | |
we must be here for some reason. maybe we're here to have fun. | |
maybe we're here to have fun. then why aren't i having fun? | |
then why aren't i having fun? because you're thinking too much. | |
because you're thinking too much. so i should stop thinking? | |
so i should stop thinking? stop thinking about what the point is. | |
stop thinking about what the point is. okay. i'll start thinking about having some fun. | |
okay. i'll start thinking about having some fun. just be patient. fun doesn't come along every five minutes. | |
beer is a powerful drug. so are cigarettes. | |
so are cigarettes. which would you prefer? | |
which would you prefer? what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? when you die and go to heaven, they will offer you beer or cigarettes. | |
when you die and go to heaven, they will offer you beer or cigarettes. i could pick only one or the other? | |
i could pick only one or the other? yes. nothing's perfect, not even in heaven. | |
yes. nothing's perfect, not even in heaven. boy, that's a tough one. | |
boy, that's a tough one. what's so tough about it? of course, i would pick cigarettes. | |
what's so tough about it? of course, i would pick cigarettes. but cigarettes taste much better when you have a cold beer. | |
but cigarettes taste much better when you have a cold beer. well, you can't have everything. | |
well, you can't have everything. i don't think i want to go to your heaven. | |
my pants have a hole in the front pocket. you shouldn't carry pens in your pocket. | |
you shouldn't carry pens in your pocket. yesterday a pen fell through my pants onto my shoe. | |
yesterday a pen fell through my pants onto my shoe. lucky for you it wasn't a sharp knife. | |
lucky for you it wasn't a sharp knife. who carries a sharp knife in their pocket? | |
who carries a sharp knife in their pocket? criminals, of course. | |
criminals, of course. anyway, i have to fix the hole. | |
anyway, i have to fix the hole. you can sew it up or use an iron-on patch. | |
you can sew it up or use an iron-on patch. tell me about this patch. | |
tell me about this patch. the patch has glue. the hot iron melts the glue so the patch sticks on. | |
the patch has glue. the hot iron melts the glue so the patch sticks on. that sounds a lot easier than sewing. | |
that sounds a lot easier than sewing. it is. but after about ten washings, the glue washes off. | |
do you know any good jokes? i can't remember jokes. | |
i can't remember jokes. neither can i. | |
neither can i. they go in one ear and out the other. | |
they go in one ear and out the other. who makes up all these jokes? | |
who makes up all these jokes? who knows? but there must be a hundred new ones every day. | |
who knows? but there must be a hundred new ones every day. yes, just in english alone. | |
yes, just in english alone. i wonder if every language has jokes. | |
i wonder if every language has jokes. of course! people everywhere like good jokes. | |
of course! people everywhere like good jokes. what do you think people joke about the most? | |
what do you think people joke about the most? i think most jokes are about women. | |
i think most jokes are about women. oh, really? i think most jokes are about men! | |
you're very lucky. why do you say that? | |
why do you say that? you speak two languages. | |
you speak two languages. well, my english isn't perfect. | |
well, my english isn't perfect. no one speaks perfect english. | |
no one speaks perfect english. maybe i will be the first! | |
maybe i will be the first! i've been thinking about learning spanish. | |
i've been thinking about learning spanish. spanish is easy. i'll be happy to teach you. | |
spanish is easy. i'll be happy to teach you. how long will it take me to learn? | |
how long will it take me to learn? i think it will only take you a year or two. | |
i think it will only take you a year or two. how soon can we begin? | |
how soon can we begin? ahora! that means right now. | |
do you know what today is? yes, it's april 22. | |
yes, it's april 22. it's more than just a date. | |
it's more than just a date. is it your birthday or anniversary? | |
is it your birthday or anniversary? no, it's earth day. | |
no, it's earth day. what's that? | |
what's that? it's a yearly reminder to take care of our planet. | |
it's a yearly reminder to take care of our planet. oh, you mean like reuse things and recycle stuff? | |
oh, you mean like reuse things and recycle stuff? yes. we need to think green, save water, and stop using plastic bags. | |
yes. we need to think green, save water, and stop using plastic bags. how about if i take shorter showers? | |
how about if i take shorter showers? that's a good idea, because showers waste a lot of water. | |
that's a good idea, because showers waste a lot of water. from now on i'll spend only 20 minutes in the shower. | |
poetry sucks. i don't know anyone who likes it. | |
i don't know anyone who likes it. some of it is okay, i guess. | |
some of it is okay, i guess. yes, the poems that rhyme and are easy to remember. | |
yes, the poems that rhyme and are easy to remember. like "one, two, buckle my shoe." | |
like "one, two, buckle my shoe." but people still write poems. | |
but people still write poems. no one makes any money at it. | |
no one makes any money at it. shakespeare was a poet. | |
shakespeare was a poet. did he get rich from his poetry? | |
did he get rich from his poetry? probably not. | |
probably not. poems are a little bit like songs. | |
poems are a little bit like songs. yes, but songs have music. without music, songs would suck, too. | |
how smart are you? i don't know. i think i'm average. | |
i don't know. i think i'm average. did you ever take an iq test? | |
did you ever take an iq test? no, i never did. all i know is that i got a's and b's in school. | |
no, i never did. all i know is that i got a's and b's in school. i wish i was really smart. | |
i wish i was really smart. don't be ridiculous. | |
don't be ridiculous. what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? if you're going to make a wish, wish that you were really rich or famous. | |
if you're going to make a wish, wish that you were really rich or famous. don't you ever wonder what it's like to be super-smart? | |
don't you ever wonder what it's like to be super-smart? it must be very lonely. | |
it must be very lonely. why's that? | |
why's that? because if you're super-smart, no one understands what you're saying. | |
i missed the tv news last night. what was on? nothing that would pass as news. | |
nothing that would pass as news. what's the weather going to be like this weekend? | |
what's the weather going to be like this weekend? i don't know. whenever the weather comes on, i switch channels. | |
i don't know. whenever the weather comes on, i switch channels. what was the lead story on the news? | |
what was the lead story on the news? some actress was in court for driving without a license. | |
some actress was in court for driving without a license. what was the second story? | |
what was the second story? some actor married a woman young enough to be his daughter. | |
some actor married a woman young enough to be his daughter. what was the third story? | |
what was the third story? a bull chased a man in a supermarket. | |
a bull chased a man in a supermarket. wasn't there anything about octo-mom? | |
wasn't there anything about octo-mom? of course. she's going to hire a nanny for her eight infants. | |
what are you going to do about your death? well, mostly i'll try to avoid it. | |
well, mostly i'll try to avoid it. i mean, are you going to get buried or cremated? | |
i mean, are you going to get buried or cremated? my wife and i will be cremated. | |
my wife and i will be cremated. are you going to be buried next to each other? | |
are you going to be buried next to each other? oh, no. our ashes will be shaken into the ocean. | |
oh, no. our ashes will be shaken into the ocean. you're not going to be buried? | |
you're not going to be buried? a coffin costs too much and takes up too much space. | |
a coffin costs too much and takes up too much space. yes, but it will be in a cemetery where your children can visit you. | |
yes, but it will be in a cemetery where your children can visit you. children seldom visit their parents in a cemetery. | |
children seldom visit their parents in a cemetery. that's true. a cemetery is for dead people, not living people. | |
that's true. a cemetery is for dead people, not living people. we figure our kids can visit us whenever they go to the beach. | |
did you wipe your feet? yes, of course i wiped my feet. | |
yes, of course i wiped my feet. then why is there mud on the carpet? | |
then why is there mud on the carpet? i don't know. it's not my mud. | |
i don't know. it's not my mud. well, someone brought it into the house. | |
well, someone brought it into the house. look at the bottom of my shoesthey're clean. | |
look at the bottom of my shoesthey're clean. of course they're clean. you left all the mud on the carpet. | |
of course they're clean. you left all the mud on the carpet. okay, i'll get the vacuum cleaner. | |
okay, i'll get the vacuum cleaner. don't vacuum it now. | |
don't vacuum it now. don't you want me to clean up the mud? | |
don't you want me to clean up the mud? wait till it dries. it will be easier to vacuum. | |
wait till it dries. it will be easier to vacuum. next time i will be more careful. | |
what are you getting for your mom? what are you talking about? | |
what are you talking about? sunday is mother's day. | |
sunday is mother's day. this sunday? | |
this sunday? of course. it's all over the news. | |
of course. it's all over the news. i thought it was next sunday. | |
i thought it was next sunday. well, you'd better get her something. | |
well, you'd better get her something. i'll get her a nice card. | |
i'll get her a nice card. is that it? | |
is that it? yes. that's all i ever give her. | |
yes. that's all i ever give her. she raised you, and all you ever give her is a card? | |
she raised you, and all you ever give her is a card? it's okay. she knows that i love her. | |
i don't like our flag. what's the matter with it? | |
what's the matter with it? it's too much like other flags. | |
it's too much like other flags. yes, a lot of flags have stripes. | |
yes, a lot of flags have stripes. a flag should be pretty. | |
a flag should be pretty. what should our flag look like? | |
what should our flag look like? it should have a pretty woman on it. | |
it should have a pretty woman on it. that's ridiculous! | |
that's ridiculous! you don't like pretty women? | |
you don't like pretty women? of course i do. but not on our flag! | |
of course i do. but not on our flag! every nation should have a pretty woman on their flag. | |
every nation should have a pretty woman on their flag. you can't go to war carrying a flag with a woman on it! | |
i had a busy morning. what did you do? | |
what did you do? i watered all the plants. | |
i watered all the plants. you have a lot of plants. | |
you have a lot of plants. then i did my laundry. | |
then i did my laundry. that takes some time. | |
that takes some time. i took the dog for a walk. | |
i took the dog for a walk. i'll bet he enjoyed his walk. | |
i'll bet he enjoyed his walk. i vacuumed the entire house. | |
i vacuumed the entire house. that's a lot of work. | |
that's a lot of work. and then i made lunch. | |
and then i made lunch. i'll bet you were hungry! | |
i don't have long distance service with my home phone. so how do you make long distance calls? | |
so how do you make long distance calls? i use a calling card. | |
i use a calling card. where do you get that? | |
where do you get that? i buy it at the dollar store. | |
i buy it at the dollar store. how much is it? | |
how much is it? it's one dollar for 100 minutes. | |
it's one dollar for 100 minutes. that's only a penny a minute! | |
that's only a penny a minute! it's a great price. but you have to dial a lot of numbers. | |
it's a great price. but you have to dial a lot of numbers. how many? | |
how many? first you dial seven numbers, then ten numbers, then ten more numbers. | |
first you dial seven numbers, then ten numbers, then ten more numbers. yikes. i think i'll keep my long distance service. | |
do you go to college? yes, i do. | |
yes, i do. what college do you go to? | |
what college do you go to? i go to pasadena city college. | |
i go to pasadena city college. do you like it? | |
do you like it? oh, yes, i really like it. | |
oh, yes, i really like it. why do you like it? | |
why do you like it? because it has great teachers. | |
because it has great teachers. what else? | |
what else? i like all my classmates, too. | |
i like all my classmates, too. anything else? | |
anything else? yes. it's not expensive! | |
i lost my new pen. where did you lose it? | |
where did you lose it? i don't know. | |
i don't know. when did you lose it? | |
when did you lose it? i think i lost it today. i used it yesterday. | |
i think i lost it today. i used it yesterday. did you check all your pockets? | |
did you check all your pockets? i checked all my pockets. | |
i checked all my pockets. did you look in your desk? | |
did you look in your desk? yes. it isn't there, either. | |
yes. it isn't there, either. it's probably around somewhere. | |
it's probably around somewhere. oh, well, it only cost me a dollar. | |
oh, well, it only cost me a dollar. only a dollar? don't even look for it. | |
gravity is very important. what is gravity? | |
what is gravity? it's the force that pulls everything down. | |
it's the force that pulls everything down. i don't understand. | |
i don't understand. if you pour water into a glass, the water goes down into the glass. | |
if you pour water into a glass, the water goes down into the glass. of course it does. | |
of course it does. without gravity, the water would go up. | |
without gravity, the water would go up. you're joking. | |
you're joking. without gravity, you would go up. | |
without gravity, you would go up. what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? you would float into the sky like a balloon. | |
you would float into the sky like a balloon. that would be fun! | |
i can't read my book. turn on the light. | |
turn on the light. the light is on. | |
the light is on. open the book. | |
open the book. the book is open. | |
the book is open. see an eye doctor. | |
see an eye doctor. that's what i need to do. | |
that's what i need to do. he'll give you a prescription for glasses. | |
he'll give you a prescription for glasses. i'll make an appointment tomorrow. | |
i'll make an appointment tomorrow. i'll get the yellow pages for an eye doctor. | |
i'll get the yellow pages for an eye doctor. read the phone number to me. | |
read the phone number to me. i'll read it very loud, in case your hearing is getting bad, too. | |
what do you need for school? i need pencils. | |
i need pencils. anything else? | |
anything else? i need a notebook. | |
i need a notebook. do you need a pen? | |
do you need a pen? no. i already have a pen. | |
no. i already have a pen. do you need a calculator? | |
do you need a calculator? no. the teacher doesn't permit calculators. | |
no. the teacher doesn't permit calculators. how about a dictionary? | |
how about a dictionary? no, we have a big dictionary in the classroom. | |
no, we have a big dictionary in the classroom. well, i guess that's it. | |
well, i guess that's it. yes, that's all i need for now. | |
i like this magazine. so do i. | |
so do i. i read it once, and i subscribed. | |
i read it once, and i subscribed. it gives you all the news. | |
it gives you all the news. all the news in only 50 pages. | |
all the news in only 50 pages. i like the political cartoons. | |
i like the political cartoons. i like the beautiful photos of the houses for sale. | |
i like the beautiful photos of the houses for sale. i always read the film reviews. | |
i always read the film reviews. i never miss the food and drink section. | |
i never miss the food and drink section. i gave a subscription to my parents. | |
i gave a subscription to my parents. me too. they canceled their other news magazines. | |
me too. they canceled their other news magazines. so did mine! | |
my pen is out of ink. shake it a couple of times. | |
shake it a couple of times. i shook it. there is no more ink. | |
i shook it. there is no more ink. you can borrow mine. | |
you can borrow mine. thank you. i'll buy a new one tomorrow. | |
thank you. i'll buy a new one tomorrow. what were you doing? | |
what were you doing? i was writing a letter. | |
i was writing a letter. who were you writing to? | |
who were you writing to? it's to my mom. | |
it's to my mom. tell her i said hello. | |
tell her i said hello. okay. i'll return your pen when i'm done. | |
okay. i'll return your pen when i'm done. take your time. | |
have you done your homework? not yet. | |
not yet. then why are you watching tv? | |
then why are you watching tv? this is my favorite show. | |
this is my favorite show. go do your homework. | |
go do your homework. but, mom! | |
but, mom! you can watch tv after you do your homework. | |
you can watch tv after you do your homework. but the show will be over. | |
but the show will be over. there will be another show next week. | |
there will be another show next week. please? | |
please? you know the rules. | |
you know the rules. i hate the rules! i can't wait till i grow up. | |
i can't wait until i graduate. me too. | |
me too. no more homework. | |
no more homework. i hate homework. | |
i hate homework. are you going to college? | |
are you going to college? i can't afford it. | |
i can't afford it. me neither. | |
me neither. so what are you going to do? | |
so what are you going to do? i'm joining the army. | |
i'm joining the army. you're kidding. you might get killed. | |
you're kidding. you might get killed. i don't think so. after i finish, i'll have enough money to go to college. | |
i don't think so. after i finish, i'll have enough money to go to college. that's not a bad idea. | |
what is your major? english. | |
english. what are you going to do with an english major? | |
what are you going to do with an english major? i'm going to be a teacher. | |
i'm going to be a teacher. high school or middle school? | |
high school or middle school? high school. | |
high school. i teach high school english. | |
i teach high school english. i didn't know that. | |
i didn't know that. i started teaching five years ago. | |
i started teaching five years ago. how do you like it? | |
how do you like it? do you see all this gray hair? it was totally black five years ago. | |
do you see all this gray hair? it was totally black five years ago. maybe i'll teach middle school. | |
parking at school is impossible. i'll say. | |
i'll say. i drove around for half an hour. | |
i drove around for half an hour. did you find a spot? | |
did you find a spot? i found a spot, but someone cut in and took it from me. | |
i found a spot, but someone cut in and took it from me. did you yell at them? | |
did you yell at them? yes, i did. | |
yes, i did. and? | |
and? and he yelled back at me. | |
and he yelled back at me. how rude. | |
how rude. but i got lucky a few minutes later. | |
but i got lucky a few minutes later. you have to be lucky to find a parking space. | |
this is a huge library. yes, it has lots of rooms and lots of space. | |
yes, it has lots of rooms and lots of space. and lots of books. | |
and lots of books. and lots of thieves. | |
and lots of thieves. what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? i mean, keep your belongings close to you. | |
i mean, keep your belongings close to you. the only thing in my backpack is used books. | |
the only thing in my backpack is used books. but thieves don't know that. | |
but thieves don't know that. they might think that i've got an ipod or laptop in there. | |
they might think that i've got an ipod or laptop in there. now you're thinking. | |
now you're thinking. you'd think a library would be safe from thieves. | |
you'd think a library would be safe from thieves. not even a church is safe from thieves. | |
how good is your math? i can add two and two. | |
i can add two and two. so you're not very good at math? | |
so you're not very good at math? i'm terrible at math. | |
i'm terrible at math. well, i need some help. | |
well, i need some help. with what? | |
with what? i'm taking a math course in school. | |
i'm taking a math course in school. well, you should ask your teacher or your classmates for help. | |
well, you should ask your teacher or your classmates for help. i can't do that. | |
i can't do that. why not? | |
why not? they might think i'm stupid. | |
they might think i'm stupid. they're not going to think that! they'll be glad to help you. | |
do you believe in god? of course. | |
of course. do you pray to god? | |
do you pray to god? occasionally. | |
occasionally. when's that? | |
when's that? when i need something. | |
when i need something. like what? | |
like what? well, if i have a big test at school. | |
well, if i have a big test at school. does god answer your prayers? | |
does god answer your prayers? yes, i've passed all my tests. | |
yes, i've passed all my tests. do you ever pray for money? | |
do you ever pray for money? not yet. i won't need to do that until i graduate from high school. | |
the cops finally found the husband. what husband? | |
what husband? the husband of the driver who ran over two college students at 3 a.m. | |
the husband of the driver who ran over two college students at 3 a.m. oh, yeah. the girl died instantly, and the boy is still in the hospital. | |
oh, yeah. the girl died instantly, and the boy is still in the hospital. the husband said he tried to help the boy. | |
the husband said he tried to help the boy. yes, he pushed him off the hood of the car. | |
yes, he pushed him off the hood of the car. no, he said he gently placed the boy on the street. | |
no, he said he gently placed the boy on the street. so what? they still drove off. | |
so what? they still drove off. the husband said a fire department was nearby. | |
the husband said a fire department was nearby. so what? did he dial 911? | |
so what? did he dial 911? he said he was thinking about it, but he didn't get around to it. | |
he said he was thinking about it, but he didn't get around to it. he didn't get around to turning himself in, either. | |
i don't like riding the bus. why not? | |
why not? the seats and windows are dirty. | |
the seats and windows are dirty. don't they clean the bus every night? | |
don't they clean the bus every night? i think they do. | |
i think they do. you should bring some wipes with you. | |
you should bring some wipes with you. that's a good idea. | |
that's a good idea. then you can wipe your seat and window. | |
then you can wipe your seat and window. people will think i'm strange. | |
people will think i'm strange. who cares? everyone is strange. | |
who cares? everyone is strange. that's for sure. | |
that's for sure. don't worry about what people think. | |
i don't like riding the bus. why not? | |
why not? number one, it's too slow. | |
number one, it's too slow. you're right. a car is faster. | |
you're right. a car is faster. number two, it's usually late. | |
number two, it's usually late. you're right. the buses are never on time. | |
you're right. the buses are never on time. number three, it doesn't run 24 hours. | |
number three, it doesn't run 24 hours. you're right. buses don't run late at night. | |
you're right. buses don't run late at night. number four, it's too crowded. | |
number four, it's too crowded. you're right. you have to stand in the aisle. | |
you're right. you have to stand in the aisle. number five, it's unsafe. | |
number five, it's unsafe. you're right. bad guys might rob you. | |
we had a problem at school. what was the problem? | |
what was the problem? someone cut the tires. | |
someone cut the tires. what tires? | |
what tires? the tires on the cars. | |
the tires on the cars. where were the cars? | |
where were the cars? they were in the student parking lot. | |
they were in the student parking lot. how many tires were cut? | |
how many tires were cut? one or two tires were cut on each car. | |
one or two tires were cut on each car. how many cars? | |
how many cars? eleven cars. | |
eleven cars. that's terrible. i hope they catch the person. | |
life isn't fair. it sure isn't. | |
it sure isn't. i got a ticket yesterday. | |
i got a ticket yesterday. what for? | |
what for? i was crossing the street. | |
i was crossing the street. were you in a crosswalk? | |
were you in a crosswalk? yes, but the red hand was blinking. | |
yes, but the red hand was blinking. so? that's a ticket? | |
so? that's a ticket? yes, it's a $140 ticket. | |
yes, it's a $140 ticket. that's not right! | |
that's not right! when i started to cross the street, the white walk sign was blinking. | |
when i started to cross the street, the white walk sign was blinking. you need to walk faster. | |
you're driving too fast. why do you say that? | |
why do you say that? the speed limit is 65. | |
the speed limit is 65. i know that. | |
i know that. but you're doing 75. | |
but you're doing 75. so is everyone else. | |
so is everyone else. but a cop might stop you. | |
but a cop might stop you. no, he won't. some cars are doing 85. | |
no, he won't. some cars are doing 85. so the cop will stop those cars? | |
so the cop will stop those cars? of course. he stops the fastest cars. | |
of course. he stops the fastest cars. my friend got a ticket for doing 75. | |
my friend got a ticket for doing 75. your friend was unlucky. | |
remember to put air in your tires. how often do i have to do that? | |
how often do i have to do that? once every two months. | |
once every two months. that's a lot. | |
that's a lot. what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? that's six times a year! | |
that's six times a year! yes, and it takes about five minutes each time. | |
yes, and it takes about five minutes each time. i'll try. | |
i'll try. check your tires or you'll get a flat. | |
check your tires or you'll get a flat. oh. that's not good. | |
oh. that's not good. no, it isn't. a flat costs you time and money. | |
no, it isn't. a flat costs you time and money. and i don't have either. | |
you're driving too fast. i'm in a hurry. | |
i'm in a hurry. don't ever be in a hurry. | |
don't ever be in a hurry. it's not my fault. you didn't wake me up. | |
it's not my fault. you didn't wake me up. that's not my fault. you didn't tell me to wake you up. | |
that's not my fault. you didn't tell me to wake you up. well, i meant to. | |
well, i meant to. don't ever be in a hurry when you're driving. | |
don't ever be in a hurry when you're driving. why not? | |
why not? because you'll have an accident. most accidents are because people are in a hurry. | |
because you'll have an accident. most accidents are because people are in a hurry. how do you know that? | |
how do you know that? i read a lot. | |
i read a lot. i thought drunks caused most accidents. | |
let's go for a ride. where are we going? | |
where are we going? into the mountains. | |
into the mountains. that sounds nice. | |
that sounds nice. i want to show you my new car. | |
i want to show you my new car. you bought a new car? | |
you bought a new car? yes. i bought a cadillac. | |
yes. i bought a cadillac. a luxury car. | |
a luxury car. luxury plus speed. | |
luxury plus speed. what are we waiting for? | |
what are we waiting for? let me get the keys. | |
let me get the keys. let me get my camera. | |
i have to go to the bathroom. why didn't you go before we left? | |
why didn't you go before we left? i did, but i have to go again. | |
i did, but i have to go again. well, hold on a little longer. | |
well, hold on a little longer. i think i'm going to explode. | |
i think i'm going to explode. just hold on. | |
just hold on. oh! don't hit any more bumps! | |
oh! don't hit any more bumps! we'll be at mcdonald's in just a few minutes. | |
we'll be at mcdonald's in just a few minutes. i hope they are fast minutes. | |
i hope they are fast minutes. think about something else. think about a hamburger. | |
think about something else. think about a hamburger. i'm thinking, but i still have to go. | |
i'm thinking, but i still have to go. it's the next exit. hold on! | |
where's the car? what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? the car isn't here. | |
the car isn't here. where did you park it? | |
where did you park it? i parked it right here. | |
i parked it right here. are you sure? | |
are you sure? yes. i remember this big tree. | |
yes. i remember this big tree. maybe it's the wrong tree. | |
maybe it's the wrong tree. no, this is the tree. | |
no, this is the tree. did someone steal it? | |
did someone steal it? i sure hope not. | |
i sure hope not. maybe they towed it away. | |
look at this traffic. i'd rather not. | |
i'd rather not. it gets worse every year. | |
it gets worse every year. why are you complaining? we're going almost 20 miles an hour. | |
why are you complaining? we're going almost 20 miles an hour. the speed limit is 65! | |
the speed limit is 65! well, that's between 2:00 and 4:00 a.m. | |
well, that's between 2:00 and 4:00 a.m. where are all these people going? | |
where are all these people going? they're all asking the same question. | |
they're all asking the same question. when are they going to fix this problem? | |
when are they going to fix this problem? they said they need more money. | |
they said they need more money. they always need more money. | |
they always need more money. it'll get worse before it gets better. | |
did you see that car? yes, he went through the red light. | |
yes, he went through the red light. can we call the police? | |
can we call the police? no, the police don't care. | |
no, the police don't care. why not? | |
why not? they have to see it happen. | |
they have to see it happen. they don't believe us? | |
they don't believe us? no. they can only give a ticket if they see it happen. | |
no. they can only give a ticket if they see it happen. so, what do we do? | |
so, what do we do? we don't do anything. | |
we don't do anything. maybe we should honk the horn next time. | |
maybe we should honk the horn next time. the driver will just honk back at us. | |
my car is dirty. why don't you wash it? | |
why don't you wash it? that's what i'm going to do. | |
that's what i'm going to do. are you going to wash it yourself? | |
are you going to wash it yourself? of course. it's not a hard job. | |
of course. it's not a hard job. i'll help you. | |
i'll help you. okay, i'll get a bucket. | |
okay, i'll get a bucket. i'll rinse the car first. | |
i'll rinse the car first. then we can scrub it with a wet sponge and soap. | |
then we can scrub it with a wet sponge and soap. after that, we can dry it with a towel. | |
after that, we can dry it with a towel. then it will look like new | |
then it will look like new and you save $10. | |
it sure is windy today. paper is flying everywhere. | |
paper is flying everywhere. this wind is dangerous for drivers. | |
this wind is dangerous for drivers. especially for drivers of big trucks. | |
especially for drivers of big trucks. the wind blows those trucks over. | |
the wind blows those trucks over. it blows trees over, too. | |
it blows trees over, too. a tree fell onto my dad's car. | |
a tree fell onto my dad's car. was there much damage? | |
was there much damage? my dad had to buy a new car. | |
my dad had to buy a new car. wow! that's terrible. | |
wow! that's terrible. never park your car under a tree. | |
never park your car under a tree. the wind will get you, or the birds will get you. | |
when are we going to stop? we'll stop at the next mcdonald's. | |
we'll stop at the next mcdonald's. how far away is that? | |
how far away is that? i think we'll be there in half an hour. | |
i think we'll be there in half an hour. i hope so. i have to go to the bathroom. | |
i hope so. i have to go to the bathroom. well, i can always pull over. | |
well, i can always pull over. no, thank you, i'll just wait. | |
no, thank you, i'll just wait. we can kill two birds with one stone. | |
we can kill two birds with one stone. what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? while you're using the bathroom, i'll order some food. | |
while you're using the bathroom, i'll order some food. don't order for me. i'm not hungry. | |
don't order for me. i'm not hungry. i'm very hungry. i'll order for you, and then i'll eat yours. | |
this is such a long light. look how many cars are waiting in line. | |
look how many cars are waiting in line. they need a left-turn arrow. | |
they need a left-turn arrow. only two cars can make a left turn every three or four minutes. | |
only two cars can make a left turn every three or four minutes. we'll be here forever. | |
we'll be here forever. get out of this lane. | |
get out of this lane. but we need to turn left. | |
but we need to turn left. forget it. go straight. | |
forget it. go straight. then what? | |
then what? then we'll just make a u-turn. | |
then we'll just make a u-turn. and then we can turn right at the light. | |
and then we can turn right at the light. good idea. it will be so much quicker. | |
i need a cheap car. how much money do you have? | |
how much money do you have? $1,000. | |
$1,000. well, that should get you something. | |
well, that should get you something. but i need something that's reliable. | |
but i need something that's reliable. you need a car with low mileage. | |
you need a car with low mileage. a car that was owned by a little old lady. | |
a car that was owned by a little old lady. where have you looked? | |
where have you looked? i haven't looked anywhere yet. | |
i haven't looked anywhere yet. why not? | |
why not? because i'll never find one for such a low price. | |
because i'll never find one for such a low price. you're right about that. keep saving your money. | |
good afternoon, officer. your driver's license and registration, please. | |
your driver's license and registration, please. here you go. | |
here you go. do you know why i pulled you over? | |
do you know why i pulled you over? i have no idea. all of a sudden i heard your siren. | |
i have no idea. all of a sudden i heard your siren. you rolled through that stop sign back there. | |
you rolled through that stop sign back there. but i stopped! | |
but i stopped! no, you didn't. you slowed down, but you didn't come to a full stop. | |
no, you didn't. you slowed down, but you didn't come to a full stop. well, nobody else does, so why should i? | |
well, nobody else does, so why should i? that's not the attitude of a good driver. | |
that's not the attitude of a good driver. but i am a good driver. i've never had a ticket in my life. | |
but i am a good driver. i've never had a ticket in my life. well, you've got one now. here. have a nice day. | |
$140. i can't believe it. what are you talking about? | |
what are you talking about? i got a ticket downtown for $140. | |
i got a ticket downtown for $140. were you speeding? | |
were you speeding? no, i was crossing the street. | |
no, i was crossing the street. were you jaywalking? | |
were you jaywalking? no, i was in the crosswalk. | |
no, i was in the crosswalk. so why did you get a ticket? | |
so why did you get a ticket? the officer said the red hand was blinking. | |
the officer said the red hand was blinking. was it blinking when you entered the crosswalk? | |
was it blinking when you entered the crosswalk? no, the white walk sign was blinking. | |
no, the white walk sign was blinking. you should fight that ticket. i'll be your witness. | |
they were in a crosswalk near school at 3 a.m. who? | |
who? two students from usc. | |
two students from usc. what happened? | |
what happened? a speeding car ran a red light, killing the girl. | |
a speeding car ran a red light, killing the girl. what happened to the other student? | |
what happened to the other student? he landed on the hood of the car. | |
he landed on the hood of the car. did he get off the hood? | |
did he get off the hood? no, the car stopped and the passenger pushed the injured student off the hood. | |
no, the car stopped and the passenger pushed the injured student off the hood. i'll bet the car continued on its way. | |
i'll bet the car continued on its way. of course it did. why stop after you've run over two people? | |
of course it did. why stop after you've run over two people? i hope they find them and put them in jail for life. | |
what happened to your car? i got a dent in the parking lot. | |
i got a dent in the parking lot. how did you get it? | |
how did you get it? i don't know. maybe it was from a shopping cart. | |
i don't know. maybe it was from a shopping cart. those shopping carts are dangerous. | |
those shopping carts are dangerous. especially the metal ones. | |
especially the metal ones. i don't park at a store that uses metal shopping carts. | |
i don't park at a store that uses metal shopping carts. that's a good idea, but there was a good sale at this store. | |
that's a good idea, but there was a good sale at this store. did you save any money on the sale? | |
did you save any money on the sale? yes, i did. i saved about $50. | |
yes, i did. i saved about $50. that's great. | |
that's great. yes, except this dent will cost about $150. | |
did you see "titanic"? yes. it is a great movie. | |
yes. it is a great movie. i saw it twelve times. | |
i saw it twelve times. i saw it eight times. | |
i saw it eight times. i have the dvd. | |
i have the dvd. so do i. | |
so do i. let's go to your home. | |
let's go to your home. we can watch my dvd. | |
we can watch my dvd. and then we can go to my home. | |
and then we can go to my home. and watch your dvd. | |
and watch your dvd. i always cry at the end. | |
i always cry at the end. me too. it's so sad. | |
let's play cards. i don't know any card games. | |
i don't know any card games. i'll teach you one. | |
i'll teach you one. okay. what will you teach me? | |
okay. what will you teach me? it's called poker. | |
it's called poker. is it easy to learn? | |
is it easy to learn? yes, it will only take about 30 minutes. | |
yes, it will only take about 30 minutes. okay. teach me how to play. | |
okay. teach me how to play. we each get five cards. | |
we each get five cards. oh, look. i have four tens. | |
oh, look. i have four tens. that's great, but you're not supposed to tell me. | |
that's great, but you're not supposed to tell me. oh. sorry. okay, i don't have four tens. | |
i'm a good card player. why is that? | |
why is that? because i watch the other players. | |
because i watch the other players. what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? people will tell you if they have a good hand. | |
people will tell you if they have a good hand. how do they do that? | |
how do they do that? for example, a friend of mine licks his lips. | |
for example, a friend of mine licks his lips. when he licks his lips, you know he has a good hand? | |
when he licks his lips, you know he has a good hand? i know he has a good hand, so i don't bet. | |
i know he has a good hand, so i don't bet. he never wins your money? | |
he never wins your money? nope, and it drives him crazy. | |
nope, and it drives him crazy. he knows you can't read his mind. maybe he thinks you're cheating. | |
turn the radio down, please. but i'm listening to it. | |
but i'm listening to it. well, listen to it more quietly. | |
well, listen to it more quietly. i can't wait till i grow up. | |
i can't wait till i grow up. what will you do? | |
what will you do? i will play the radio as loud as i want. | |
i will play the radio as loud as i want. that's okay with me. | |
that's okay with me. i will have a radio in every room of my house. | |
i will have a radio in every room of my house. remind me to never visit you. | |
remind me to never visit you. all the radios will be on extra loud. | |
all the radios will be on extra loud. your neighbors will hate you. | |
your neighbors will hate you. if they don't like it, they can move. | |
i hope i win the lotto. your chances are very small. | |
your chances are very small. but you can't win if you don't play. | |
but you can't win if you don't play. ha! you can't win if you do play. | |
ha! you can't win if you do play. someone has to win. | |
someone has to win. that's what everyone says. | |
that's what everyone says. it might as well be me. | |
it might as well be me. that's what everyone says. | |
that's what everyone says. you're trying to tell me something. | |
you're trying to tell me something. that didn't take long. | |
that didn't take long. you think i should quit playing. | |
you think i should quit playing. save your money for school. | |
what's on tv? nothing much. | |
nothing much. what about the baseball game? | |
what about the baseball game? it got rained out. | |
it got rained out. rained out? | |
rained out? yes, rained out. | |
yes, rained out. how could that be? | |
how could that be? well, you can't play baseball in a rainstorm. | |
well, you can't play baseball in a rainstorm. i thought they were playing under a dome. | |
i thought they were playing under a dome. the dome doesn't close. | |
the dome doesn't close. why doesn't it close? | |
why doesn't it close? who knows? they said they'll fix it before next season. | |
can i try your coffee? sure. here you go. | |
sure. here you go. hmm, that's not bad. | |
hmm, that's not bad. there's nothing in it. | |
there's nothing in it. what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? i mean, it's just coffee. | |
i mean, it's just coffee. i figured that. | |
i figured that. it's not too bitter for you? | |
it's not too bitter for you? it's a little bitter, but it's okay. | |
it's a little bitter, but it's okay. there's no sugar or cream in it. | |
there's no sugar or cream in it. no, it's a taste you have to get used to. | |
no, it's a taste you have to get used to. sort of like beer. | |
let's take a walk. what's the weather like? | |
what's the weather like? let me step outside and see. | |
let me step outside and see. it's a little chilly, right? | |
it's a little chilly, right? yes, it is. | |
yes, it is. i'll put on my cap. | |
i'll put on my cap. wear a jacket, too. | |
wear a jacket, too. i wonder if i should bring my gloves. | |
i wonder if i should bring my gloves. maybe you should, just in case it gets colder. | |
maybe you should, just in case it gets colder. i'll put a glove in each pocket. | |
i'll put a glove in each pocket. we'll get warmer as we walk. | |
we'll get warmer as we walk. yes, but it gets colder as the sun goes down. | |
look at the car chase on tv! that driver is crazy. | |
that driver is crazy. i can't believe he hasn't crashed. | |
i can't believe he hasn't crashed. how fast is he going? | |
how fast is he going? they say he's going 80 miles per hour. | |
they say he's going 80 miles per hour. he's going to kill someone. | |
he's going to kill someone. look! he just hit that car. | |
look! he just hit that car. oh, my goodness. no one is safe on the streets. | |
oh, my goodness. no one is safe on the streets. now he's slowing down. | |
now he's slowing down. maybe he ran out of gas. | |
maybe he ran out of gas. look! he just got out of the car and started running. | |
look! he just got out of the car and started running. i hope the police catch him. | |
tv news is so stupid. they shouldn't even call it news. | |
they shouldn't even call it news. last night they told us about a cat in a sofa. | |
last night they told us about a cat in a sofa. yesterday they told us about a dog in a pipe. | |
yesterday they told us about a dog in a pipe. last week they told us about a bear in a back yard. | |
last week they told us about a bear in a back yard. last month they told us about a mouse in a restaurant. | |
last month they told us about a mouse in a restaurant. the weatherman tells us the temperature in every town. | |
the weatherman tells us the temperature in every town. the sports guy shows us players fighting. | |
the sports guy shows us players fighting. they always tell us "what's next." | |
they always tell us "what's next." they always make "what's next" sound exciting, but it never is. | |
they always make "what's next" sound exciting, but it never is. it's more like news for kids. | |
it's more like news for kids. they should have kid reporters. | |
i love my computer. computers are so cool. | |
computers are so cool. i love to go online. | |
i love to go online. the internet is amazing. | |
the internet is amazing. you can travel all over the world. | |
you can travel all over the world. i know. i went to china yesterday. | |
i know. i went to china yesterday. what did you do? | |
what did you do? i stood on the great wall and looked all around. | |
i stood on the great wall and looked all around. what was it like? | |
what was it like? it was like the real thing. | |
it was like the real thing. it was like being there? | |
it was like being there? yes, i felt like i was actually there. | |
the beatles are the best. they are the best musical group ever. | |
they are the best musical group ever. i love all their songs. | |
i love all their songs. i don't know which one i like the best. | |
i don't know which one i like the best. i like the ones i can sing along with. | |
i like the ones i can sing along with. so do i, like "she loves you." | |
so do i, like "she loves you." "she loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah!..." | |
"she loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah!..." " and you know you should be glad!" | |
" and you know you should be glad!" what a great song. | |
what a great song. how about "let it be?" | |
how about "let it be?" oh, yes! "let it be, let it be " | |
oh, yes! "let it be, let it be " " there will be an answer, let it be!" | |
let's go to a movie. i'd rather not. | |
i'd rather not. why not? | |
why not? you know i don't like crowds. | |
you know i don't like crowds. let's go to an early movie. | |
let's go to an early movie. okay, that won't be very crowded. | |
okay, that won't be very crowded. what would you like to see? | |
what would you like to see? oh, i don't care. you're the one who wants to go out. | |
oh, i don't care. you're the one who wants to go out. well, i want to see "the pursuit of happyness." | |
well, i want to see "the pursuit of happyness." what have you heard about it? | |
what have you heard about it? it's based on a true story about a divorced man and his young son. | |
it's based on a true story about a divorced man and his young son. well, i hope it has a happy ending. | |
what's your favorite thing to do? i like to watch people. | |
i like to watch people. that's your favorite thing to do? | |
that's your favorite thing to do? well, it's one of them. | |
well, it's one of them. where do you go to watch people? | |
where do you go to watch people? my girlfriend and i sit outside starbucks. | |
my girlfriend and i sit outside starbucks. that sounds like a good spot. | |
that sounds like a good spot. we watch people walk by with their dogs. | |
we watch people walk by with their dogs. i guess you see lots of different dogs. | |
i guess you see lots of different dogs. we don't even know what kind most of them are. | |
we don't even know what kind most of them are. there are lots of different kinds, but they all have one thing in common. | |
there are lots of different kinds, but they all have one thing in common. yes, they love to sniff each other when they meet. | |
they call him father dollar bill. yes, he was on the tv news today. | |
yes, he was on the tv news today. every easter sunday he gives away money. | |
every easter sunday he gives away money. is it his money? | |
is it his money? no. movie stars give him money to give to homeless people. | |
no. movie stars give him money to give to homeless people. how much money does he give away? | |
how much money does he give away? this year he gave away $15,000. | |
this year he gave away $15,000. that's a lot of money. | |
that's a lot of money. he gave $100 to people in wheelchairs. | |
he gave $100 to people in wheelchairs. what about the other homeless people? | |
what about the other homeless people? they got $1 each. | |
they got $1 each. people stood in line just to get one dollar?! | |
old movies are the best. even though they're in black and white. | |
even though they're in black and white. a good story is more important than color. | |
a good story is more important than color. actors didn't curse back then. | |
actors didn't curse back then. and there was no violence. | |
and there was no violence. people today don't like that. | |
people today don't like that. no, today people like lots of action. | |
no, today people like lots of action. i like a good story. | |
i like a good story. i like to see actors who are like real people. | |
i like to see actors who are like real people. like real people with real problems. | |
like real people with real problems. they still make movies like that. | |
they still make movies like that. yes, but they never make much money. | |
do you get pbs on tv? yes, everybody gets the public broadcasting system. | |
yes, everybody gets the public broadcasting system. it puts me to sleep. | |
it puts me to sleep. tell me about it. | |
tell me about it. a gardening show follows a knitting show. | |
a gardening show follows a knitting show. a cooking show follows a sewing show. | |
a cooking show follows a sewing show. a travel show follows another travel show. | |
a travel show follows another travel show. i'll say! i've gone around the world a dozen times already! | |
i'll say! i've gone around the world a dozen times already! now they're adding old tv shows to the old movies. | |
now they're adding old tv shows to the old movies. i sure would like to see something interesting for a change. | |
i sure would like to see something interesting for a change. if more people donate money, pbs could offer new shows. | |
if more people donate money, pbs could offer new shows. who wants to donate? public tv should be free. | |
i love to watch "judge judy." is that a tv show? | |
is that a tv show? yes. it's on every afternoon. | |
yes. it's on every afternoon. what's so good about it? | |
what's so good about it? they have interesting lawsuits. | |
they have interesting lawsuits. such as? | |
such as? yesterday, a woman complained about a cell phone she bought on ebay. | |
yesterday, a woman complained about a cell phone she bought on ebay. was something wrong with the phone? | |
was something wrong with the phone? it works only in canada. | |
it works only in canada. did the seller know that? | |
did the seller know that? yes, and he didn't tell the buyer. | |
yes, and he didn't tell the buyer. i hope judge judy made the seller take the phone back. | |
that woman is a very good singer. yes, but she looks like a man. | |
yes, but she looks like a man. what difference does it make? | |
what difference does it make? female singers are supposed to be pretty. | |
female singers are supposed to be pretty. singers are supposed to sound good. | |
singers are supposed to sound good. they should look good, too. | |
they should look good, too. there are lots of ugly men singers. | |
there are lots of ugly men singers. men singers don't have to look good. | |
men singers don't have to look good. then neither do women singers. | |
then neither do women singers. well, i would never buy her cd. | |
well, i would never buy her cd. but you would buy her cd if she was pretty? | |
but you would buy her cd if she was pretty? yes. i would buy all of her cds. | |
all the tv stations are going to go digital. yes, that will occur next month. | |
yes, that will occur next month. most of them are already broadcasting in digital. | |
most of them are already broadcasting in digital. the digital signal is very clear. | |
the digital signal is very clear. oh, no, it isn't! | |
oh, no, it isn't! what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? i can't get a single channel. | |
i can't get a single channel. do you have a digital tv? | |
do you have a digital tv? of course. but i don't have cable. | |
of course. but i don't have cable. you don't need to have cable, but you do need a good antenna. | |
you don't need to have cable, but you do need a good antenna. but i have rabbit ears. | |
but i have rabbit ears. rabbit ears aren't strong enough. buy a digital antenna. | |
i've got a date for you. oh, really? | |
oh, really? are you interested? | |
are you interested? maybe. what is she like? | |
maybe. what is she like? she's got a great personality. | |
she's got a great personality. uh-oh. that means that she's fat and ugly. | |
uh-oh. that means that she's fat and ugly. she's cute. | |
she's cute. okay, so she's not ugly; she's just fat. | |
okay, so she's not ugly; she's just fat. she weighs 98 pounds. | |
she weighs 98 pounds. okay, she's not fat. so what's the problem with her? | |
okay, she's not fat. so what's the problem with her? who said there is a problem with her? | |
who said there is a problem with her? the problem is she has no problemsshe's too good for me! | |
i think you're very pretty. thank you. | |
thank you. would you have dinner with me? | |
would you have dinner with me? i would like to. | |
i would like to. can i pick you up friday night? | |
can i pick you up friday night? what time? | |
what time? eight o'clock. | |
eight o'clock. that sounds great. | |
that sounds great. we'll go to a french restaurant. | |
we'll go to a french restaurant. i've never been to a french restaurant. | |
i've never been to a french restaurant. i think you'll love the food. | |
i think you'll love the food. i'm not going to eat any snails! | |
you have pretty eyes. thank you. so do you. | |
thank you. so do you. i wish my eyes were blue. | |
i wish my eyes were blue. what's the matter with green eyes? | |
what's the matter with green eyes? nothing, except my favorite color is blue. | |
nothing, except my favorite color is blue. maybe in your next life you'll have blue eyes. | |
maybe in your next life you'll have blue eyes. but what if i'm a fish in my next life? | |
but what if i'm a fish in my next life? i think some fish have blue eyes. | |
i think some fish have blue eyes. i hope i don't come back as a fish. | |
i hope i don't come back as a fish. i hope i come back as a cat. | |
i hope i come back as a cat. cats have beautiful eyes. | |
cats have beautiful eyes. i would love to have blue cat-eyes. | |
i love you. i love you, too. | |
i love you, too. i loved you the first day i saw you. | |
i loved you the first day i saw you. it was love at first sight? | |
it was love at first sight? yes, it was love at first sight. | |
yes, it was love at first sight. i didn't love you at first. | |
i didn't love you at first. i know. i had to chase you for a while. | |
i know. i had to chase you for a while. yes, you chased me and then you caught me. | |
yes, you chased me and then you caught me. now you're mine forever. | |
now you're mine forever. and you're mine forever. | |
and you're mine forever. we'll grow old together. | |
we'll grow old together. and be happy together. | |
i'm in love with that girl. have you told her? | |
have you told her? of course not. | |
of course not. why not? | |
why not? she would laugh at me. | |
she would laugh at me. how do you know? | |
how do you know? because they always do. | |
because they always do. maybe she's different. | |
maybe she's different. they're all the same. | |
they're all the same. just ask her out to dinner. | |
just ask her out to dinner. and then what? | |
and then what? and then she'll know that you like her. | |
give me a hug. i'm not in the mood. | |
i'm not in the mood. what's the matter? | |
what's the matter? i saw you looking at that woman. | |
i saw you looking at that woman. what woman? | |
what woman? you know, that woman with the big boobs. | |
you know, that woman with the big boobs. i was not looking at her. | |
i was not looking at her. you were, too. | |
you were, too. i'm not interested in her. | |
i'm not interested in her. then why were you looking at her? | |
then why were you looking at her? i was looking at something else. | |
i was looking at something else. oh, really? then spend tonight looking at the sofa. | |
would you like to go on a blind date? you must be joking. | |
you must be joking. no, i'm serious. | |
no, i'm serious. i don't want to date a blind woman. | |
i don't want to date a blind woman. a blind date doesn't mean that she is blind! | |
a blind date doesn't mean that she is blind! what does it mean? | |
what does it mean? a blind date is a date with someone you don't know. | |
a blind date is a date with someone you don't know. why would i date someone i don't even know? | |
why would i date someone i don't even know? to try something new and exciting. | |
to try something new and exciting. what if i don't like her? | |
what if i don't like her? then you don't date her again. | |
i have a date tomorrow night. really? who with? | |
really? who with? a girl i met at the market. | |
a girl i met at the market. you met a girl at the supermarket? | |
you met a girl at the supermarket? she was standing behind me in a really slow line at the checkout counter. | |
she was standing behind me in a really slow line at the checkout counter. what did you say to her? | |
what did you say to her? i had two pineapples in my cart, and she asked where i had found them. | |
i had two pineapples in my cart, and she asked where i had found them. she asked you about your pineapples? | |
she asked you about your pineapples? i told her i had gotten the last two on the shelf, but i offered her one of mine. | |
i told her i had gotten the last two on the shelf, but i offered her one of mine. that was nice of you. | |
that was nice of you. she asked me how she could return the favor, so i asked her out. | |
she asked me how she could return the favor, so i asked her out. sometimes a slow line can be a good thing. | |
did you have a date friday night? yes, in fact, i did. | |
yes, in fact, i did. who did you go out with? | |
who did you go out with? a man i met in a coffee shop. | |
a man i met in a coffee shop. where did you go? | |
where did you go? we went to a nice restaurant. | |
we went to a nice restaurant. anywhere else? | |
anywhere else? then we went to a jazz club. | |
then we went to a jazz club. that sounds like a nice date. | |
that sounds like a nice date. yes, it was pleasant. | |
yes, it was pleasant. but you won't date him again? | |
but you won't date him again? no. he was nice, but there was no chemistry. | |
i had the worst date the other night. what happened? | |
what happened? first of all, he was half an hour late. | |
first of all, he was half an hour late. that's not a good start. | |
that's not a good start. then he didn't bother to apologize. | |
then he didn't bother to apologize. that's rude. | |
that's rude. then he drove too fast to the restaurant. | |
then he drove too fast to the restaurant. that's dangerous. | |
that's dangerous. i thought about getting out and taking a taxi home. | |
i thought about getting out and taking a taxi home. what happened at the restaurant? | |
what happened at the restaurant? we had a $40 meal, and he left a $1 tip! | |
we had a $40 meal, and he left a $1 tip! i guess you can't go back to that restaurant. | |
i don't like that man. why not? | |
why not? he's a dirty old man. | |
he's a dirty old man. what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? he's old enough to be my father, yet he asked me out. | |
he's old enough to be my father, yet he asked me out. well, you can't blame a man for asking. | |
well, you can't blame a man for asking. he should act his age. | |
he should act his age. but a lot of old people are still interested in dating. | |
but a lot of old people are still interested in dating. they should find a nice hobby. | |
they should find a nice hobby. just wait until you're 50 years old. | |
just wait until you're 50 years old. dating will be the furthest thing from my mind. | |
dating will be the furthest thing from my mind. that's what you say now. wait till you're 50. | |
does your girlfriend ever make you angry? sometimes. | |
sometimes. what does she do? | |
what does she do? just yesterday, i told her i wouldn't trade her for all the money in the world. | |
just yesterday, i told her i wouldn't trade her for all the money in the world. that was a nice thing to say. | |
that was a nice thing to say. that's what i thought. | |
that's what i thought. what did she say? | |
what did she say? she laughed! she didn't believe me. | |
she laughed! she didn't believe me. that wasn't very nice of her. | |
that wasn't very nice of her. she said that nothing is more important to me than money. | |
she said that nothing is more important to me than money. what did you say? | |
what did you say? i told her i wouldn't trade her for any other woman in the world. | |
some people have good noses. i wish i had a good nose. mine is way too big. | |
i wish i had a good nose. mine is way too big. i don't mean good-looking. i mean good-smelling. | |
i don't mean good-looking. i mean good-smelling. oh. but that can be a curse. | |
oh. but that can be a curse. yes, because you can be too sensitive to odors. | |
yes, because you can be too sensitive to odors. i'll say. my girlfriend has a nose like a drug dog. | |
i'll say. my girlfriend has a nose like a drug dog. did she catch you using drugs? | |
did she catch you using drugs? sort of. she knows whenever i sneak a cigarette. | |
sort of. she knows whenever i sneak a cigarette. you don't need a good nose for thatcigarettes stink. | |
you don't need a good nose for thatcigarettes stink. but when i sneak just one cigarette in the morning, she can smell it that evening! | |
but when i sneak just one cigarette in the morning, she can smell it that evening! boy, that is a good nose. | |
boy, that is a good nose. i told her she should apply for a job at customs. | |
let's go out to eat. that sounds like fun. | |
that sounds like fun. where do you want to go? | |
where do you want to go? let me think a minute. | |
let me think a minute. i feel like chinese. | |
i feel like chinese. that sounds delicious. | |
that sounds delicious. i know a good chinese restaurant. | |
i know a good chinese restaurant. how far away is it? | |
how far away is it? it's only 10 minutes from here. | |
it's only 10 minutes from here. do we need reservations? | |
do we need reservations? oh, no. we can walk right in. | |
oh, no. we can walk right in. let's go now. i'm hungry! | |
i can't believe how long this line is. this is a popular restaurant, isn't it? | |
this is a popular restaurant, isn't it? yes, but it isn't a fast-food restaurant, is it? | |
yes, but it isn't a fast-food restaurant, is it? it's the slowest hamburger in town. | |
it's the slowest hamburger in town. that's because they cook it while you wait. | |
that's because they cook it while you wait. yes. that's why it's also the best hamburger in town. | |
yes. that's why it's also the best hamburger in town. a great burger and great service. | |
a great burger and great service. yes, the workers are very polite. | |
yes, the workers are very polite. and they're clean. | |
and they're clean. i've been coming here for years. | |
i've been coming here for years. me too. | |
me too. excuse me. they just called my number. | |
lunch was delicious. thank you. | |
thank you. what kind of soup was that? | |
what kind of soup was that? it was tomato soup. | |
it was tomato soup. that tasted so good. | |
that tasted so good. i put lemon and butter in it. | |
i put lemon and butter in it. the sandwich was good, too. | |
the sandwich was good, too. everyone likes bacon and tomato sandwiches. | |
everyone likes bacon and tomato sandwiches. especially on toast. | |
especially on toast. and the pickles were great, too. | |
and the pickles were great, too. tomorrow we'll have rice and fish for lunch. | |
tomorrow we'll have rice and fish for lunch. i can't wait. | |
i'm calling the waiter. what's the matter? | |
what's the matter? this steak has too much fat. | |
this steak has too much fat. what do you want the waiter to do? | |
what do you want the waiter to do? bring me a better steak. | |
bring me a better steak. i wouldn't do that. | |
i wouldn't do that. why not? | |
why not? they will drop the new steak on the floor, step on it, and then spit on it. | |
they will drop the new steak on the floor, step on it, and then spit on it. you're crazy. | |
you're crazy. then the waiter will give you a big smile as he brings you the new steak. | |
then the waiter will give you a big smile as he brings you the new steak. where do you get these crazy ideas? | |
where do you get these crazy ideas? i used to cook in a restaurant! | |
let's leave. but we just got here. | |
but we just got here. did you see the waiter's hands? | |
did you see the waiter's hands? no. | |
no. he had dirty fingernails. | |
he had dirty fingernails. really? | |
really? his nails were black! | |
his nails were black! that's disgusting. | |
that's disgusting. and he poured water into our glasses. | |
and he poured water into our glasses. yuck! no water for me. | |
yuck! no water for me. i wonder if the cooks' nails are dirty, too. | |
i wonder if the cooks' nails are dirty, too. who cares? let's get out of here. | |
this hot bread is delicious. i like this restaurant because they give you free bread. | |
i like this restaurant because they give you free bread. well, i think we are paying for it. | |
well, i think we are paying for it. no. look at the bill when we get it. there's no charge for the bread. | |
no. look at the bill when we get it. there's no charge for the bread. it is delicious, especially with butter. | |
it is delicious, especially with butter. i think we should just leave after we fill up on the bread. | |
i think we should just leave after we fill up on the bread. they probably wouldn't like that. | |
they probably wouldn't like that. i'm eating so much bread that i'm getting full. | |
i'm eating so much bread that i'm getting full. then stop eating the bread! | |
then stop eating the bread! okay, just one more piece. pass the butter, please. | |
okay, just one more piece. pass the butter, please. if i owned a restaurant, i would never serve hot bread before the main course. | |
if i owned a restaurant, i would never serve hot bread before the main course. that's terrible. i would never go to your restaurant. | |
is this a clean restaurant? well, the tables and chairs look okay. | |
well, the tables and chairs look okay. okay, let's sit down. | |
okay, let's sit down. check out the silverware. | |
check out the silverware. it passes inspection. | |
it passes inspection. here comes the waiter. see if his hands and nails are clean. | |
here comes the waiter. see if his hands and nails are clean. well, the waiter looked clean, so i guess it's okay to eat here. | |
well, the waiter looked clean, so i guess it's okay to eat here. you're forgetting about the bathroom. | |
you're forgetting about the bathroom. i'm going to just hope that the bathroom is clean. | |
i'm going to just hope that the bathroom is clean. you're not going to examine it before we order dinner? | |
you're not going to examine it before we order dinner? no, i'd rather not find out that it's dirty, because i'm pretty hungry right now. | |
no, i'd rather not find out that it's dirty, because i'm pretty hungry right now. me, too. let's forget about germs and focus on food. | |
have you seen our waiter? here he comes now. | |
here he comes now. we've been sitting here for almost 10 minutes. | |
we've been sitting here for almost 10 minutes. oops, i guess i was wrong. that isn't our waiter. | |
oops, i guess i was wrong. that isn't our waiter. we can give him five more minutes, and then leave. | |
we can give him five more minutes, and then leave. i'll go up front and talk to the manager. | |
i'll go up front and talk to the manager. that's a good idea. | |
that's a good idea. maybe they'll give us free drinks for waiting so long. | |
maybe they'll give us free drinks for waiting so long. maybe he'll send us our waiter immediately. | |
maybe he'll send us our waiter immediately. every time we eat out, it's an adventure. | |
every time we eat out, it's an adventure. last time, we got seats next to the kitchen. | |
last time, we got seats next to the kitchen. we'll never go there again. | |
is this table okay? no, it's too close to the kitchen door. | |
no, it's too close to the kitchen door. how about this table? | |
how about this table? no, it's too close to the front door. | |
no, it's too close to the front door. this looks like a nice table. | |
this looks like a nice table. no, it's too close to the salad bar. | |
no, it's too close to the salad bar. okay, i give up. | |
okay, i give up. well, there is one good table. | |
well, there is one good table. great. which one? | |
great. which one? that one. a group of eight just sat down at it. | |
i don't believe the art world. what is it this time? | |
what is it this time? an andy warhol drawing. | |
an andy warhol drawing. he's a famous artist. | |
he's a famous artist. he drew two butterflies and a flower on a napkin in a restaurant. | |
he drew two butterflies and a flower on a napkin in a restaurant. did he sign it? | |
did he sign it? yes. | |
yes. is it beautiful? | |
is it beautiful? it's just black ink on a white napkin. and the napkin has food stains! | |
it's just black ink on a white napkin. and the napkin has food stains! so it's not worth much? | |
so it's not worth much? only about $30,000. | |
only about $30,000. without the food stains, it would probably be worth more. | |
can we go to the baseball game? of course. | |
of course. i love baseball. | |
i love baseball. so do i. | |
so do i. i love to eat the peanuts. | |
i love to eat the peanuts. i love to eat the hot dogs. | |
i love to eat the hot dogs. i hope we'll see a home run. | |
i hope we'll see a home run. i hope we'll catch a foul ball. | |
i hope we'll catch a foul ball. bring a jacket. | |
bring a jacket. yes. it gets a little cool at night. | |
yes. it gets a little cool at night. bring a glove to catch a foul ball. | |
bring a glove to catch a foul ball. no. i'll just use my cap to catch a foul ball. | |
golf is a silly game. it certainly is. | |
it certainly is. you hit a white ball. | |
you hit a white ball. and then you chase it. | |
and then you chase it. and then you hit it again. | |
and then you hit it again. finally, you put the ball into a hole in the ground. | |
finally, you put the ball into a hole in the ground. you do this 18 times, because there are 18 holes. | |
you do this 18 times, because there are 18 holes. what's the point? | |
what's the point? how can it be fun? | |
how can it be fun? they pay money to play this silly game! | |
they pay money to play this silly game! i think golfers have a mental problem. | |
i think golfers have a mental problem. i think they're nuts. | |
do you want to go fishing? yes. that's a good idea. | |
yes. that's a good idea. where do you want to go? | |
where do you want to go? we can go to the river. | |
we can go to the river. or we can go to the lake. | |
or we can go to the lake. or we can go to the ocean. | |
or we can go to the ocean. let's go to the lake. | |
let's go to the lake. yes. the lake is only 10 miles away. | |
yes. the lake is only 10 miles away. we can be there in 20 minutes. | |
we can be there in 20 minutes. i'll get our fishing rods. | |
i'll get our fishing rods. i'll get the bait. | |
i'll get the bait. we'll have fresh fish for dinner! | |
baseball is fun. i like to hit the ball. | |
i like to hit the ball. i like to run around the bases. | |
i like to run around the bases. i like to slide into the bases. | |
i like to slide into the bases. yeah. it's a lot of fun to slide. | |
yeah. it's a lot of fun to slide. i want to be a baseball player when i grow up. | |
i want to be a baseball player when i grow up. me too. i want to play for the yankees. | |
me too. i want to play for the yankees. not me. i want to play for the dodgers. | |
not me. i want to play for the dodgers. we have to practice every day. | |
we have to practice every day. i don't like practice. | |
i don't like practice. me neither. it's boring. | |
me neither. it's boring. but practice makes perfect. | |
let's go jogging. that's a good idea. | |
that's a good idea. i bought some new shoes. | |
i bought some new shoes. are they comfortable? | |
are they comfortable? they're very comfortable. | |
they're very comfortable. how much were they? | |
how much were they? they were on sale for $80. | |
they were on sale for $80. do they help you run faster? | |
do they help you run faster? no, but my feet don't hurt anymore. | |
no, but my feet don't hurt anymore. then they're worth every penny. | |
then they're worth every penny. you might want to buy a pair. | |
you might want to buy a pair. i'll wait until i wear this pair out. | |
tiger is the greatest golfer in the world. you can say that again. | |
you can say that again. but i'm worried about tiger. | |
but i'm worried about tiger. why is that? | |
why is that? because he likes to scuba dive. | |
because he likes to scuba dive. what's wrong with that? | |
what's wrong with that? it can be dangerous. | |
it can be dangerous. you mean he could drown. | |
you mean he could drown. he shouldn't scuba dive until he retires. | |
he shouldn't scuba dive until he retires. but he dives to relax. | |
but he dives to relax. he might relax, but it makes me nervous. | |
he might relax, but it makes me nervous. if his wife doesn't mind, you shouldn't mind. | |
did you watch that golf tournament? the one that tiger won? | |
the one that tiger won? how did he do it? | |
how did he do it? it was nothing for him. | |
it was nothing for him. he sank a 20-foot putt on the last hole to win by one stroke! | |
he sank a 20-foot putt on the last hole to win by one stroke! he sank a 25-footer last year at the same tournament to win by one stroke. | |
he sank a 25-footer last year at the same tournament to win by one stroke. i think he is from outer space. | |
i think he is from outer space. no human could possibly play golf that well. | |
no human could possibly play golf that well. whenever he needs a shot to win a tournament, he makes that shot. | |
whenever he needs a shot to win a tournament, he makes that shot. no human can do that. | |
no human can do that. somebody should check his birth record. | |
somebody should check his birth record. i bet it says he was born on mars. | |
who's the greatest baseball player? there are so many great players. | |
there are so many great players. yes, but who is the greatest? | |
yes, but who is the greatest? i'd have to say babe ruth. | |
i'd have to say babe ruth. most people would say that. | |
most people would say that. he changed the game. | |
he changed the game. yes, he made the home run popular. | |
yes, he made the home run popular. everybody loved him, all over the nation. | |
everybody loved him, all over the nation. he helped make the yankees the best team ever. | |
he helped make the yankees the best team ever. and ruth was a good person, too. | |
and ruth was a good person, too. he always visited hospitals to cheer up sick kids. | |
he always visited hospitals to cheer up sick kids. there will never be another babe. | |
did you hear what happened at the baseball game? no, please tell me. | |
no, please tell me. someone punched out someone. | |
someone punched out someone. that's not nice. | |
that's not nice. it's worse than that. | |
it's worse than that. how so? | |
how so? two guys got into an argument. | |
two guys got into an argument. i'll bet they were drinking. | |
i'll bet they were drinking. a third guy punched one of the two guys. | |
a third guy punched one of the two guys. i'll bet he was drinking, too. | |
i'll bet he was drinking, too. the victim hit his head on the concrete steps and died. | |
the victim hit his head on the concrete steps and died. that's terrible. can't people just have fun at a baseball game? | |
i want to go to the ball game. is there a game tonight? | |
is there a game tonight? yes, it starts at 7 p.m. | |
yes, it starts at 7 p.m. can we get tickets? | |
can we get tickets? yes, but only the cheap tickets. | |
yes, but only the cheap tickets. how much are they? | |
how much are they? they're only $5 each. | |
they're only $5 each. that's a good price. | |
that's a good price. yes, it's cheaper than a hot dog or a beer. | |
yes, it's cheaper than a hot dog or a beer. where are the seats? | |
where are the seats? they're behind the outfield. | |
they're behind the outfield. maybe we can catch a home run ball. | |
golf is so hard. what's so hard about hitting a little white ball? | |
what's so hard about hitting a little white ball? it's hard if you want to do it right. | |
it's hard if you want to do it right. you mean like tiger? | |
you mean like tiger? no, like a good amateur golfer. | |
no, like a good amateur golfer. what's so hard about golf? | |
what's so hard about golf? there are so many things you have to do right. | |
there are so many things you have to do right. like what? | |
like what? like keep your left arm straight, keep your head down, and follow through. | |
like keep your left arm straight, keep your head down, and follow through. yikes! who can remember all that? | |
yikes! who can remember all that? you need to get a lot of lessons when you're really young. | |
you need to get a lot of lessons when you're really young. forget it. golf sounds more like work than fun. | |
did you hear about the ball player? the home run hitter on drugs? | |
the home run hitter on drugs? he said a doctor helped him with a personal problem. | |
he said a doctor helped him with a personal problem. he said he wasn't using drugs. | |
he said he wasn't using drugs. he apologized to the fans. | |
he apologized to the fans. the league suspended him for 50 games. | |
the league suspended him for 50 games. that will cost him some money. | |
that will cost him some money. yes, about $7 million. | |
yes, about $7 million. that will teach him a good lesson. | |
that will teach him a good lesson. he probably won't use drugs anymore. | |
he probably won't use drugs anymore. but it won't stop other players from using drugs. | |
but it won't stop other players from using drugs. no. everyone always figures that they won't get caught. | |
why is there so much crime? because parents don't teach their kids right from wrong. | |
because parents don't teach their kids right from wrong. is that it? | |
is that it? also, there aren't enough police. | |
also, there aren't enough police. but there are a lot of police. | |
but there are a lot of police. there's only one police officer per 100 criminals. | |
there's only one police officer per 100 criminals. can't we hire more police? | |
can't we hire more police? no. it costs too much money. | |
no. it costs too much money. doesn't crime cost more than police? | |
doesn't crime cost more than police? yes, it does. | |
yes, it does. so it would be cheaper to hire more police? | |
so it would be cheaper to hire more police? yes, it would. | |
this is a great neighborhood. yes, it is. | |
yes, it is. people are friendly. | |
people are friendly. yes, they are. | |
yes, they are. the streets and sidewalks are clean. | |
the streets and sidewalks are clean. yes, they are. | |
yes, they are. there's a real nice park nearby. | |
there's a real nice park nearby. yes, there is. | |
yes, there is. i feel safe here. | |
i feel safe here. there is no crime here. | |
there is no crime here. i wish i could move here. | |
i wish i could move here. maybe you can, if someone moves out. | |
the house burned down. what happened? | |
what happened? the man fell asleep. | |
the man fell asleep. was he smoking? | |
was he smoking? yes, he was smoking a cigarette. | |
yes, he was smoking a cigarette. did he die? | |
did he die? yes, he did. his cat died, too. | |
yes, he did. his cat died, too. that's too bad. what about his smoke alarm? | |
that's too bad. what about his smoke alarm? the battery was dead. | |
the battery was dead. a good battery would have saved his life. | |
a good battery would have saved his life. he had cigarettes, but no battery. | |
he had cigarettes, but no battery. it happens all the time. | |
they say he has started fifteen big fires. he's been in jail three times already. | |
he's been in jail three times already. why did they ever let him out? | |
why did they ever let him out? it's the law. they can't keep him in jail forever. | |
it's the law. they can't keep him in jail forever. why not? everyone knows he's a firebug. he loves to start fires. | |
why not? everyone knows he's a firebug. he loves to start fires. i don't know. sometimes the law doesn't make sense. | |
i don't know. sometimes the law doesn't make sense. but his latest fire killed someone. | |
but his latest fire killed someone. this time they have charged him with murder. | |
this time they have charged him with murder. so maybe he'll go to jail forever? | |
so maybe he'll go to jail forever? i sure hope so. | |
i sure hope so. someone should set him on fire. | |
someone should set him on fire. that would teach him a good lesson. | |
put your seatbelt on. why? | |
why? because it will protect you in case of an accident. | |
because it will protect you in case of an accident. but it's uncomfortable. | |
but it's uncomfortable. it's the law. | |
it's the law. it's so much trouble. | |
it's so much trouble. it's common sense. | |
it's common sense. it's so tight that it's hard for me to breathe. | |
it's so tight that it's hard for me to breathe. hold your breath till we get there. | |
hold your breath till we get there. okay, my seatbelt is on. | |
okay, my seatbelt is on. i'm glad you don't complain very much. | |
i'm glad you don't complain very much. i'm ready for an accident. | |
what are you doing? i'm going to change the light bulb. it burnt out. | |
i'm going to change the light bulb. it burnt out. what are you standing on? | |
what are you standing on? a couple of dictionaries and some textbooks. | |
a couple of dictionaries and some textbooks. are you crazy? | |
are you crazy? what's the matter? | |
what's the matter? those books will slip and you'll fall. | |
those books will slip and you'll fall. it's only a couple of feet. | |
it's only a couple of feet. what if you fall while you're holding the light bulb, and it breaks and pieces go into your eyes? | |
what if you fall while you're holding the light bulb, and it breaks and pieces go into your eyes? i never thought about that. | |
i never thought about that. you'd be blind for the rest of your life! | |
you'd be blind for the rest of your life! i'll get the stepladder. | |
did you see that puddle of water on the floor? yes. i called for a clean-up. | |
yes. i called for a clean-up. a puddle of water is very dangerous. | |
a puddle of water is very dangerous. it isn't easy to see. | |
it isn't easy to see. but it's real easy to slip on. | |
but it's real easy to slip on. especially on these slick floors. | |
especially on these slick floors. someone who slips could hurt their back. | |
someone who slips could hurt their back. they could even crack their head open. | |
they could even crack their head open. we should stand here till the clean-up person gets here. | |
we should stand here till the clean-up person gets here. we can leave if we put an orange cone here. | |
we can leave if we put an orange cone here. yes, but i don't know where the orange cones are. | |
yes, but i don't know where the orange cones are. it doesn't matter. here he comes now with the mop. | |
what happens when the fire alarm rings? we tell our students to leave the classroom. | |
we tell our students to leave the classroom. can they take their belongings? | |
can they take their belongings? yes, if they do it quickly. | |
yes, if they do it quickly. where do the students go? | |
where do the students go? they go out to the north parking lot. | |
they go out to the north parking lot. what do the teachers do? | |
what do the teachers do? we take our rosters to the parking lot and take roll. | |
we take our rosters to the parking lot and take roll. why do you do that? | |
why do you do that? we want to make sure all the students are out of the building. | |
we want to make sure all the students are out of the building. if they are all outside, then what? | |
if they are all outside, then what? then we just wait outside for a fireman to tell us to go back in. | |
i have to go back upstairs. why? we're already late. | |
why? we're already late. i have to check the stove. | |
i have to check the stove. what's the matter? | |
what's the matter? maybe i left the burner on. | |
maybe i left the burner on. no, you didn't. i checked the stove before we left. | |
no, you didn't. i checked the stove before we left. are you sure? | |
are you sure? of course i'm sure. | |
of course i'm sure. well, i have to go back upstairs anyway. | |
well, i have to go back upstairs anyway. it's getting later every minute. | |
it's getting later every minute. i think i left the water running. | |
i think i left the water running. no, you didn't. let's go! the only thing running is the clock! | |
the city is buying guns. what are they paying? | |
what are they paying? up to $200 for each gun, no questions asked. | |
up to $200 for each gun, no questions asked. why are they doing this? | |
why are they doing this? they want to get guns off the street. | |
they want to get guns off the street. who would turn in a gun for $200? | |
who would turn in a gun for $200? that isn't a good deal? | |
that isn't a good deal? a good gun costs $400 or more. | |
a good gun costs $400 or more. well, if you bring your receipt, maybe they'll give you $400. | |
well, if you bring your receipt, maybe they'll give you $400. i'll keep my receipt and my gun. | |
i'll keep my receipt and my gun. i didn't know you had a gun. | |
i didn't know you had a gun. everyone in america should have a gun. | |
you're yawning. i sure am. | |
i sure am. you should go to bed. | |
you should go to bed. i will as soon as i finish this article. | |
i will as soon as i finish this article. what are you reading? | |
what are you reading? it's about crime in los angeles. | |
it's about crime in los angeles. what does it say? | |
what does it say? the mayor says the crime rate is going down. | |
the mayor says the crime rate is going down. then why does everyone lock their doors? | |
then why does everyone lock their doors? i guess they haven't read this article. | |
i guess they haven't read this article. no one believes that the crime rate is going down. | |
no one believes that the crime rate is going down. maybe the mayor is just talking about his own neighborhood. | |
people who live in california are crazy. why is that? | |
why is that? because of all the earthquakes and fires. | |
because of all the earthquakes and fires. but big earthquakes happen only once in a while. | |
but big earthquakes happen only once in a while. once in a while is once too many. | |
once in a while is once too many. but you're right. there are a lot of fires. | |
but you're right. there are a lot of fires. a recent fire destroyed 85 homes. | |
a recent fire destroyed 85 homes. still, it's safer than florida. | |
still, it's safer than florida. florida doesn't have earthquakes or fires. | |
florida doesn't have earthquakes or fires. no, florida just has hurricanes every year from june to october. | |
no, florida just has hurricanes every year from june to october. but most of those hurricanes are harmless. | |
but most of those hurricanes are harmless. excuse me. hurricane andrew destroyed 30,000 homes! | |
i went to hawaii on vacation. did you like it? | |
did you like it? i loved it. i want to live there. | |
i loved it. i want to live there. what did you like? | |
what did you like? the island is so green, and the water is so blue. | |
the island is so green, and the water is so blue. did you go swimming? | |
did you go swimming? i went to the beach every day. | |
i went to the beach every day. how was the weather? | |
how was the weather? it was hot and sunny every day. | |
it was hot and sunny every day. what did you do at night? | |
what did you do at night? at night i went out to eat. the food was delicious. | |
at night i went out to eat. the food was delicious. people who live in hawaii are lucky. | |
i like this hotel. what do you like about it? | |
what do you like about it? we get a free breakfast. | |
we get a free breakfast. coffee and a roll? | |
coffee and a roll? no, a real breakfast. | |
no, a real breakfast. bacon and eggs? | |
bacon and eggs? with toast, ham, sausage, fresh fruit, and juice. | |
with toast, ham, sausage, fresh fruit, and juice. wow! that is nice. let's stay for two nights. | |
wow! that is nice. let's stay for two nights. and the rooms are clean, too. | |
and the rooms are clean, too. do they allow pets? | |
do they allow pets? no pets, no smoking. | |
no pets, no smoking. i like that. let's stay three nights. | |
i'm not sleeping here tonight. what's the matter? this is a nice room. | |
what's the matter? this is a nice room. maybe the room is nice, but not the bed. | |
maybe the room is nice, but not the bed. what's wrong with the bed? | |
what's wrong with the bed? look at this sheet. | |
look at this sheet. yes? | |
yes? see those stains? | |
see those stains? i sure do. | |
i sure do. i'm not sleeping on that sheet. | |
i'm not sleeping on that sheet. well, just call the front desk. they'll give us new sheets. | |
well, just call the front desk. they'll give us new sheets. i want sheets without stains on them. | |
i want sheets without stains on them. from now on, let's bring our own sheets. | |
what time does your plane leave? it leaves at 12:15. | |
it leaves at 12:15. when do you have to be at the airport? | |
when do you have to be at the airport? i have to be there two hours early. | |
i have to be there two hours early. so we have to be at the airport at 10:15. | |
so we have to be at the airport at 10:15. that means we have to leave the house at 9:15. | |
that means we have to leave the house at 9:15. well, it's an hour to get there, if there are no traffic problems. | |
well, it's an hour to get there, if there are no traffic problems. so maybe we better leave at 8:15? | |
so maybe we better leave at 8:15? yes, it's better to get there too early than too late. | |
yes, it's better to get there too early than too late. i agree. | |
i agree. you never know what might happen on these freeways. | |
you never know what might happen on these freeways. there's at least one huge accident every day. | |
i need to fly to new york. when are you going? | |
when are you going? during the christmas holidays. | |
during the christmas holidays. you'd better buy your ticket now. | |
you'd better buy your ticket now. you must be kidding. | |
you must be kidding. no, i'm not. it's march. time is running out. seats are selling out right now. | |
no, i'm not. it's march. time is running out. seats are selling out right now. i thought i would wait until october. | |
i thought i would wait until october. i'll bet this is the first time you've ever flown during christmas. | |
i'll bet this is the first time you've ever flown during christmas. you're right. | |
you're right. well, listen to me. you need to buy a ticket now. | |
well, listen to me. you need to buy a ticket now. but maybe prices will be cheaper in october. | |
but maybe prices will be cheaper in october. cheaper prices won't do you any good if there are no seats. | |
i hate flying. so do i. | |
so do i. a long time ago, flying used to be okay. | |
a long time ago, flying used to be okay. now it's like riding a bus. | |
now it's like riding a bus. you're jammed in with people all around you. | |
you're jammed in with people all around you. half of them are coughing, and the other half are sneezing. | |
half of them are coughing, and the other half are sneezing. you don't have any elbow room or knee room. | |
you don't have any elbow room or knee room. people are always getting up to use the bathroom. | |
people are always getting up to use the bathroom. kids are crying or climbing over you. | |
kids are crying or climbing over you. it's a flying zoo! | |
it's a flying zoo! i wish i could afford first class seats. | |
i wish i could afford first class seats. doesn't everybody? | |
some guy rowed across the atlantic ocean. good for him. | |
good for him. why would he do that? | |
why would he do that? did he set a new record? | |
did he set a new record? yes, i think he did. | |
yes, i think he did. well, i guess that's why he did it. | |
well, i guess that's why he did it. what's the point? | |
what's the point? now he has the world record! | |
now he has the world record! but someone's going to break it, so what good is it? | |
but someone's going to break it, so what good is it? well, he can enjoy it while it lasts. | |
well, he can enjoy it while it lasts. i don't think he even got paid for it. | |
i don't think he even got paid for it. some people do it just to do it. | |
i want to go on a cruise ship. that sounds like fun. where do you want to go? | |
that sounds like fun. where do you want to go? i want to cruise to hawaii. | |
i want to cruise to hawaii. that should be a nice trip. lots of fun, and lots of food. | |
that should be a nice trip. lots of fun, and lots of food. i have no idea how much it will cost. | |
i have no idea how much it will cost. i think it depends on the season and on your cabin. | |
i think it depends on the season and on your cabin. well, of course i want to go when the weather is nice. | |
well, of course i want to go when the weather is nice. yes, you don't want to travel in winter storms. | |
yes, you don't want to travel in winter storms. and i want to get a big cabin with a view. | |
and i want to get a big cabin with a view. are you going to travel alone? | |
are you going to travel alone? no, my sister and i will travel together. | |
no, my sister and i will travel together. well, you should go online and try to find a good deal. | |
i hate to fly. because of all the security? | |
because of all the security? no, because it hurts my ears. | |
no, because it hurts my ears. what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? every time we land or take off, my ears hurt so much. | |
every time we land or take off, my ears hurt so much. that's just the altitude change, i think. | |
that's just the altitude change, i think. whatever it is, it hurts. | |
whatever it is, it hurts. can't you take medicine or something for it? | |
can't you take medicine or something for it? i've tried everything, but nothing works. | |
i've tried everything, but nothing works. have you tried earplugs? | |
have you tried earplugs? they don't work, either. | |
they don't work, either. well, be glad you're not a pilot. | |
spring break starts tomorrow. are you going to go anywhere? | |
are you going to go anywhere? i was thinking of driving to arizona. | |
i was thinking of driving to arizona. to the grand canyon? | |
to the grand canyon? yes. i've never been there. | |
yes. i've never been there. i was there when i was a kid. | |
i was there when i was a kid. how did you like it? | |
how did you like it? i loved it. i still remember how amazing it was. | |
i loved it. i still remember how amazing it was. i'm sure i'll like it, too. | |
i'm sure i'll like it, too. you should try riding a mule on a trail to the bottom. | |
you should try riding a mule on a trail to the bottom. no way! i don't want to fall to my death. | |
no way! i don't want to fall to my death. don't worry. only one person has ever fallen off a mule. | |
that hotel was terrible. the worst in the whole world. | |
the worst in the whole world. the walls were so thin. | |
the walls were so thin. all day long we heard tvs or telephones. | |
all day long we heard tvs or telephones. all night long we heard people snoring. | |
all night long we heard people snoring. housekeeping didn't give us fresh towels. | |
housekeeping didn't give us fresh towels. room service brought us a cold dinner. | |
room service brought us a cold dinner. our nonsmoking room stunk of cigarette smoke. | |
our nonsmoking room stunk of cigarette smoke. our room was right next to the elevator and the ice machine. | |
our room was right next to the elevator and the ice machine. they added phony charges to our bill. | |
they added phony charges to our bill. how did we end up in that terrible hotel? | |
how did we end up in that terrible hotel? the travel agent gave us a 50-percent discount! | |
i have to hang up. i'm so sleepy. it's not even 10 o'clock. | |
it's not even 10 o'clock. i'm falling asleep on the phone. | |
i'm falling asleep on the phone. you got up real early. | |
you got up real early. i had to take my friend to the airport. | |
i had to take my friend to the airport. why didn't you take a nap when you got home? | |
why didn't you take a nap when you got home? i didn't get home until 30 minutes ago. | |
i didn't get home until 30 minutes ago. why is that? | |
why is that? there was a bomb threat at the airport. | |
there was a bomb threat at the airport. only a threat? | |
only a threat? yes, but i was stuck there all day while they looked for the bomb. | |
yes, but i was stuck there all day while they looked for the bomb. someday the bomb is going to be for real. | |
my dad went to washington, d.c. why did he do that? | |
why did he do that? he was invited, along with about 90 other veterans. | |
he was invited, along with about 90 other veterans. who invited them? | |
who invited them? some private organization. | |
some private organization. why did they invite him? | |
why did they invite him? to thank him and all the other soldiers who served in world war ii. | |
to thank him and all the other soldiers who served in world war ii. that's very nice. | |
that's very nice. my dad got to see the beautiful new world war ii monument. | |
my dad got to see the beautiful new world war ii monument. that trip must have cost a lot of money. | |
that trip must have cost a lot of money. he said all the money came from private donations. | |
that was a great trip to washington, d.c. tell me about it, dad. | |
tell me about it, dad. about 90 of us world war ii veterans got on the plane at 8 a.m. | |
about 90 of us world war ii veterans got on the plane at 8 a.m. how long was the flight? | |
how long was the flight? it only took about two hours. | |
it only took about two hours. did you take pictures at the world war ii monument? | |
did you take pictures at the world war ii monument? oh, yes. we all took lots of pictures. | |
oh, yes. we all took lots of pictures. then you flew back home that evening? | |
then you flew back home that evening? yes. when we landed, tv reporters and the army band were there. | |
yes. when we landed, tv reporters and the army band were there. that must have made you feel really special. | |
that must have made you feel really special. oh, it did. there were about 300 people there to honor us. | |
oh, it did. there were about 300 people there to honor us. well, you all deserve it. you helped save our country. | |
i need a job. i thought you had a job. | |
i thought you had a job. i did. | |
i did. what happened? | |
what happened? i got laid off. | |
i got laid off. that's terrible! when did it happen? | |
that's terrible! when did it happen? i got laid off last week. | |
i got laid off last week. just you? | |
just you? no, ten of my coworkers got laid off, too. | |
no, ten of my coworkers got laid off, too. what are you going to do? | |
what are you going to do? i'm looking in the newspaper for a job. | |
i'm looking in the newspaper for a job. good luck! | |
before you go to that interview, check yourself. what's to check? | |
what's to check? are your nails clean? | |
are your nails clean? yes, they are. | |
yes, they are. did you double-check your nose and teeth? | |
did you double-check your nose and teeth? they are clean, too. | |
they are clean, too. did you shine your shoes? | |
did you shine your shoes? my shoes are shined. | |
my shoes are shined. do your socks match? | |
do your socks match? of course they match. | |
of course they match. no, they don't. one is black and one is dark blue. | |
no, they don't. one is black and one is dark blue. yikes! thank you. | |
life is hard. it sure is. | |
it sure is. i thought school was hard. | |
i thought school was hard. me, too. i couldn't wait to graduate. | |
me, too. i couldn't wait to graduate. but now work is hard, too. | |
but now work is hard, too. i agree. work is just as hard as school. | |
i agree. work is just as hard as school. sometimes i wish i was back in school. | |
sometimes i wish i was back in school. me, too. school was fun. | |
me, too. school was fun. and it was only 12 years. | |
and it was only 12 years. it went by pretty fast. | |
it went by pretty fast. but work goes on forever! | |
but work goes on forever! we have to work for 30 years! | |
i'm sleepy. so am i. | |
so am i. i had a long day. | |
i had a long day. so did i. | |
so did i. i didn't even have lunch. | |
i didn't even have lunch. neither did i. | |
neither did i. i was busy the whole day. | |
i was busy the whole day. so was i. | |
so was i. i had to bring work home with me. | |
i had to bring work home with me. i did too. | |
i did too. your day was just like mine. | |
your day was just like mine. of course it was. we work together! | |
i don't like my job. what do you do? | |
what do you do? i'm a babysitter. | |
i'm a babysitter. is that a lot of work? | |
is that a lot of work? babies cry all the time. | |
babies cry all the time. you have to change their diapers. | |
you have to change their diapers. i have to feed them. | |
i have to feed them. are you looking for another job? | |
are you looking for another job? no, i'm looking for another family. | |
no, i'm looking for another family. another family? | |
another family? a family with only one baby. | |
a family with only one baby. that's a good idea. | |
i need a job. what was your last job? | |
what was your last job? i was a painter. | |
i was a painter. what happened? | |
what happened? i got laid off because there was no work. | |
i got laid off because there was no work. what else can you do? | |
what else can you do? i'm a handyman. | |
i'm a handyman. can you fix a dripping faucet in a kitchen sink? | |
can you fix a dripping faucet in a kitchen sink? of course. | |
of course. then i have a job for you in my kitchen. | |
then i have a job for you in my kitchen. it will cost you only $20 plus parts. | |
it will cost you only $20 plus parts. okay. that sounds like a fair price. | |
what would you do if you lost your job? i have no idea. i've been here for 20 years. | |
i have no idea. i've been here for 20 years. do you have any other skills? | |
do you have any other skills? well, i know how to flip hamburgers. | |
well, i know how to flip hamburgers. no one would hire you to flip hamburgers. | |
no one would hire you to flip hamburgers. have you heard something that you're not telling me? | |
have you heard something that you're not telling me? what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? are there going to be layoffs at this place? | |
are there going to be layoffs at this place? i certainly hope not! | |
i certainly hope not! if you got laid off, you'd be flipping hamburgers, too. | |
if you got laid off, you'd be flipping hamburgers, too. oh great, we could both work at burger king. | |
oh great, we could both work at burger king. maybe we'd get laid off there, too. | |
do your students ever talk about their jobs? yes, and they ask me what jobs are the best. | |
yes, and they ask me what jobs are the best. i tell my students to become a teacher. | |
i tell my students to become a teacher. teaching is a great job. | |
teaching is a great job. it's the best job i've ever had. | |
it's the best job i've ever had. what makes it so good? | |
what makes it so good? for me, it's the students. | |
for me, it's the students. what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? i mean i have wonderful students. | |
i mean i have wonderful students. that must be nice. | |
that must be nice. teaching is the best part of my whole day. | |
teaching is the best part of my whole day. you're a lucky man to have a job you love. | |
boy, i'm glad that job is finished. how long did it take? | |
how long did it take? four hours, without a break. | |
four hours, without a break. it's always nice to finish a job. | |
it's always nice to finish a job. well, it's good and bad. | |
well, it's good and bad. what's bad about it? | |
what's bad about it? when you finish, all you do is start another job! | |
when you finish, all you do is start another job! yes, that's right. it does get boring. | |
yes, that's right. it does get boring. especially if it's the same work, over and over. | |
especially if it's the same work, over and over. but that's what most people do. | |
but that's what most people do. yes, i guess most of us are stuck in a routine. | |
yes, i guess most of us are stuck in a routine. i wonder if there is any job that you don't repeat over and over. | |
i think i have the worst boss in the world. what makes him so bad? | |
what makes him so bad? he's rude and he yells a lot. | |
he's rude and he yells a lot. that's hard to take. | |
that's hard to take. i've never heard him say please or thank you. | |
i've never heard him say please or thank you. he sounds like a real jerk. | |
he sounds like a real jerk. no one at work likes him. | |
no one at work likes him. can't you report him to his supervisor? | |
can't you report him to his supervisor? of course not. if i do that, i'll lose my job. | |
of course not. if i do that, i'll lose my job. yes, they don't like troublemakers or complainers. | |
yes, they don't like troublemakers or complainers. i can't quit, because i'm making a good salary. | |
i can't quit, because i'm making a good salary. you shouldn't choose money over happiness. | |
what are we going to do? about what? | |
about what? about finding a job for me. | |
about finding a job for me. you don't need a job. i make enough money for both of us. | |
you don't need a job. i make enough money for both of us. that doesn't matter. i don't want to sit around. | |
that doesn't matter. i don't want to sit around. okay, what kind of job do you want? | |
okay, what kind of job do you want? i'm not sure. | |
i'm not sure. well, you should do something that you enjoy. | |
well, you should do something that you enjoy. i enjoy selling. i was born to sell. | |
i enjoy selling. i was born to sell. okay, what do you want to sell? | |
okay, what do you want to sell? cigarette lighters. i'll make a fortune. | |
cigarette lighters. i'll make a fortune. but you hate cigarettes and you hate smoking! | |
a new hotel is looking for workers. yes, i saw it on the tv news. | |
yes, i saw it on the tv news. they need 300 new workers. | |
they need 300 new workers. and 4,000 people showed up. | |
and 4,000 people showed up. so many people are out of work. | |
so many people are out of work. i still have my job, thank goodness. | |
i still have my job, thank goodness. so do i, but i'm worried. | |
so do i, but i'm worried. me too. there are no guarantees. | |
me too. there are no guarantees. if you lose your job, you can move in with me. | |
if you lose your job, you can move in with me. oh, thank you. that's very nice of you. | |
oh, thank you. that's very nice of you. you would do the same for me. | |
you would do the same for me. of course. what are friends for? | |
i think i did something real stupid. what did you do? | |
what did you do? i bought some stock. | |
i bought some stock. everybody buys stock. | |
everybody buys stock. i bought it on a hunch. | |
i bought it on a hunch. you didn't read about the company first? | |
you didn't read about the company first? i didn't have to. it's been in business for 60 years. | |
i didn't have to. it's been in business for 60 years. so what's the problem? | |
so what's the problem? i used all my savings on this one company. | |
i used all my savings on this one company. you put all your eggs into one basket. | |
you put all your eggs into one basket. if the company goes out of business, i'll have nothing. | |
if the company goes out of business, i'll have nothing. oh, you'll have somethingyou'll have a lesson you'll never forget! | |
i was going to be a doctor. what happened to your plans? | |
what happened to your plans? i got a d in college chemistry. | |
i got a d in college chemistry. well, a d is better than an f. | |
well, a d is better than an f. a tutor helped me get the d! | |
a tutor helped me get the d! so, you didn't become a doctor. | |
so, you didn't become a doctor. and now i'm glad that i didn't. | |
and now i'm glad that i didn't. why's that? | |
why's that? a hospital is the most dangerous place in the world. | |
a hospital is the most dangerous place in the world. oh, yes, because of all the killer germs. | |
oh, yes, because of all the killer germs. if you're a smart doctor, you stay away from hospitals. | |
if you're a smart doctor, you stay away from hospitals. yes, the smart doctors are those tv news doctorsno hospitals, no patients. | |
i want to be a mail carrier when i grow up. why? | |
why? because you get to meet a lot of people. | |
because you get to meet a lot of people. you sure do. | |
you sure do. and you get a lot of exercise every day. | |
and you get a lot of exercise every day. that's the truth. | |
that's the truth. and you get to play with a lot of dogs. | |
and you get to play with a lot of dogs. well, you're supposed to be working. | |
well, you're supposed to be working. yes, but i will always pet the friendly dogs. | |
yes, but i will always pet the friendly dogs. what about the unfriendly dogs? | |
what about the unfriendly dogs? i think if you are friendly to dogs, they are friendly to you. | |
i think if you are friendly to dogs, they are friendly to you. dogs are like peoplenot all of them are friendly. | |
i want to move to new york. to the state or the city? | |
to the state or the city? to the city, of course. | |
to the city, of course. why do you want to move there? | |
why do you want to move there? because i want to make a lot of money. | |
because i want to make a lot of money. there are a lot of poor people in new york. | |
there are a lot of poor people in new york. there sure areat least a million. | |
there sure areat least a million. so how do you plan to become rich? | |
so how do you plan to become rich? i will knock on the doors of all the corporations. | |
i will knock on the doors of all the corporations. that won't make you rich. nobody will talk to you. | |
that won't make you rich. nobody will talk to you. i will keep knocking on doors. | |
i will keep knocking on doors. all you will get is sore knuckles. | |
i love salads. me too. | |
me too. i usually eat a simple salad. | |
i usually eat a simple salad. what do you put in it? | |
what do you put in it? just lettuce, tomato, and celery. | |
just lettuce, tomato, and celery. that's it? | |
that's it? i add some pepper and salt. | |
i add some pepper and salt. i always put cheese in my salads. | |
i always put cheese in my salads. yes, cheese is nice. | |
yes, cheese is nice. what kind of dressing do you use? | |
what kind of dressing do you use? i pour lots of french dressing on top. | |
i pour lots of french dressing on top. me too. french dressing is so delicious! who cares about calories? | |
i love cheese. me too. | |
me too. where does cheese come from? | |
where does cheese come from? it comes from cows. | |
it comes from cows. so we get cheese from cows, and we get milk, too? | |
so we get cheese from cows, and we get milk, too? yes, we do. | |
yes, we do. what else do we get from cows? | |
what else do we get from cows? we get hamburgers and steak. | |
we get hamburgers and steak. oh, that's so delicious. | |
oh, that's so delicious. we also get leather. | |
we also get leather. we get a lot of things from cows, don't we? | |
we get a lot of things from cows, don't we? yes. a cow is man's best friend. | |
i used to work in a deli. how did you like it? | |
how did you like it? i loved it! | |
i loved it! did you get free food? | |
did you get free food? i ate free cheese and meat every day. | |
i ate free cheese and meat every day. that sounds like a great job. | |
that sounds like a great job. whatever a customer ordered, i sliced off a little more for me. | |
whatever a customer ordered, i sliced off a little more for me. did you get fat? | |
did you get fat? no, but i did put on a few pounds. | |
no, but i did put on a few pounds. that sounds like a dream job. | |
that sounds like a dream job. it was, until one day my manager caught me. | |
it was, until one day my manager caught me. no more free cheese for you, huh? | |
i'm on a new diet. what are you eating now? | |
what are you eating now? i switched from pasta to potatoes. | |
i switched from pasta to potatoes. why did you do that? | |
why did you do that? pasta is processed food. potatoes are natural food. | |
pasta is processed food. potatoes are natural food. natural food has more vitamins. | |
natural food has more vitamins. and it's just as easy to prepare. | |
and it's just as easy to prepare. how do you prepare the potatoes? | |
how do you prepare the potatoes? i wash them, and then steam them for 15 minutes. | |
i wash them, and then steam them for 15 minutes. that's pretty simple. | |
that's pretty simple. then i add butter, salt, and pepper. | |
then i add butter, salt, and pepper. can i have all those cans of tomato sauce you bought for your pasta? | |
my girlfriend's mom got mad at me at the dinner table. why was that? | |
why was that? i sprinkled salt and pepper on the food before i tasted it. | |
i sprinkled salt and pepper on the food before i tasted it. what's the matter with that? | |
what's the matter with that? her mom is a great cook. | |
her mom is a great cook. so, a little salt and pepper never hurt anything. | |
so, a little salt and pepper never hurt anything. it hurt her feelings. | |
it hurt her feelings. oh. | |
oh. i apologized to her, but i could tell she was still upset. | |
i apologized to her, but i could tell she was still upset. maybe you shouldn't eat there again. | |
maybe you shouldn't eat there again. i'm sure everything will be okay in a day or two. | |
i'm sure everything will be okay in a day or two. it's your girlfriend's fault. she should have warned you. | |
i eat the same thing every day. you're kidding. | |
you're kidding. no, i'm serious. | |
no, i'm serious. doesn't that get old? | |
doesn't that get old? no, because i'm eating food that i like. | |
no, because i'm eating food that i like. but the same thing day after day gets old. | |
but the same thing day after day gets old. well, i guess if it ever does get old, i'll change to something different. | |
well, i guess if it ever does get old, i'll change to something different. do you eat fruits and vegetables every day? | |
do you eat fruits and vegetables every day? no, i hate vegetables. | |
no, i hate vegetables. but you eat fruits. | |
but you eat fruits. i eat two apples, one banana, and one orange every day. | |
i eat two apples, one banana, and one orange every day. well, there's nothing wrong with that. | |
there's something wrong with my orange. what's wrong? | |
what's wrong? it's not orange! | |
it's not orange! your orange isn't orange? | |
your orange isn't orange? no, it's dark pink! | |
no, it's dark pink! are you sure? i never heard of such a thing. | |
are you sure? i never heard of such a thing. i just peeled it, and i'm looking at it right now. | |
i just peeled it, and i'm looking at it right now. let me see. yes, you're right. your orange is pink. | |
let me see. yes, you're right. your orange is pink. who ever heard of such a thing? | |
who ever heard of such a thing? oh, look. here's the little sticker that was on it. it's called a pink navel. | |
oh, look. here's the little sticker that was on it. it's called a pink navel. what is this world coming to? | |
what is this world coming to? who knows? maybe soon we'll have pink bananas. | |
i love peanuts. me, too. i love them roasted and salted. | |
me, too. i love them roasted and salted. i love boiled peanuts. | |
i love boiled peanuts. boiled? i never heard of that. | |
boiled? i never heard of that. just boil raw peanuts in salt water until the shells are soft. | |
just boil raw peanuts in salt water until the shells are soft. i'll have to try them sometime. | |
i'll have to try them sometime. they're best when they're hot. | |
they're best when they're hot. my brother is allergic to peanuts. | |
my brother is allergic to peanuts. that's not good. | |
that's not good. no, it isn't. he almost died when he was little. | |
no, it isn't. he almost died when he was little. i guess he has to be very careful about what he eats. | |
i guess he has to be very careful about what he eats. he has a very strict diet. | |
i'm gaining weight. how much have you gained? | |
how much have you gained? three pounds just this month. | |
three pounds just this month. do you know why? | |
do you know why? i think it's the ice cream. | |
i think it's the ice cream. you started eating ice cream? | |
you started eating ice cream? it was on sale. | |
it was on sale. how much did you buy? | |
how much did you buy? i filled up my freezer with ice cream. | |
i filled up my freezer with ice cream. well, it won't last forever. | |
well, it won't last forever. no, i figure i'll finish it all by next week. | |
no, i figure i'll finish it all by next week. then you can start losing weight, if there isn't another sale. | |
i'm stuffed. of course you are. you ate everything on the table. | |
of course you are. you ate everything on the table. i don't like to eat leftovers. | |
i don't like to eat leftovers. i'm glad to hear there's something you don't like to eat. | |
i'm glad to hear there's something you don't like to eat. i like my food hot and fresh. | |
i like my food hot and fresh. you like to see it disappear. | |
you like to see it disappear. i don't like it reheated. | |
i don't like it reheated. well, you'll have hot fresh food tomorrow night. | |
well, you'll have hot fresh food tomorrow night. i'm so full i'm going to burst. | |
i'm so full i'm going to burst. you should loosen your belt. | |
you should loosen your belt. i already loosened my belt and unbuttoned my pants. | |
i already loosened my belt and unbuttoned my pants. well, don't stand up, please. | |
i saw what you did. i didn't do anything. | |
i didn't do anything. oh yes, you did. | |
oh yes, you did. what are you talking about? | |
what are you talking about? you know what i'm talking about. | |
you know what i'm talking about. i don't have any idea. | |
i don't have any idea. you know what you did. | |
you know what you did. maybe i know, but how could you know? | |
maybe i know, but how could you know? because i was watching you. | |
because i was watching you. okay, i'm sorry i did it. | |
okay, i'm sorry i did it. don't drink milk out of the carton. use a glass! | |
don't drink milk out of the carton. use a glass! i promise i'll never drink out of the carton again. | |
i like that shirt. so do i. | |
so do i. how much is it? | |
how much is it? i don't know. the tag is missing. | |
i don't know. the tag is missing. ask the clerk. | |
ask the clerk. i will. | |
i will. oh, look. here's another shirt just like it. | |
oh, look. here's another shirt just like it. does it have a price tag? | |
does it have a price tag? yes, it does. it's only $20. | |
yes, it does. it's only $20. that's a great price. | |
that's a great price. i think i'll buy both of them. | |
i think i'll buy both of them. you'd better try them on first. | |
i bought you a pair of pants. thank you. | |
thank you. i hope they fit. | |
i hope they fit. i hope you kept the receipt. | |
i hope you kept the receipt. you think they won't fit? | |
you think they won't fit? i think i've put on some weight. | |
i think i've put on some weight. you think? | |
you think? maybe a pound or two. | |
maybe a pound or two. maybe four or five pounds? | |
maybe four or five pounds? my waist is bigger than it was. | |
my waist is bigger than it was. no problem. these pants have an elastic waistband. | |
no problem. these pants have an elastic waistband. you are so smart! | |
what do we need to buy? let me look at our list. | |
let me look at our list. i know that we need milk. | |
i know that we need milk. nonfat. | |
nonfat. of course. what else? | |
of course. what else? we need cheese, bread, and ham. | |
we need cheese, bread, and ham. what kind of cheese? | |
what kind of cheese? swiss. | |
swiss. of course, the cheese with holes in it. | |
of course, the cheese with holes in it. i never used to buy swiss cheese. | |
i never used to buy swiss cheese. why not? | |
why not? i didn't want to pay for the holes. | |
i need some pants. i thought you just bought a pair. | |
i thought you just bought a pair. i did. | |
i did. what's wrong with them so soon? | |
what's wrong with them so soon? the pants are fine, but the pocket has a huge hole in it. | |
the pants are fine, but the pocket has a huge hole in it. you shouldn't carry your keys and pens in your pocket. | |
you shouldn't carry your keys and pens in your pocket. but that's what pockets are for. | |
but that's what pockets are for. you should carry them in a purse. | |
you should carry them in a purse. i'm a man, and men don't carry purses! | |
i'm a man, and men don't carry purses! well, you should buy pants with stronger pockets. | |
well, you should buy pants with stronger pockets. i would if i could find someone who makes strong pockets. | |
i would if i could find someone who makes strong pockets. try a google search online. | |
what are those wipes for? you use them to wipe the handle of the shopping cart. | |
you use them to wipe the handle of the shopping cart. that's a great idea. | |
that's a great idea. yes, all the markets just started offering wipes to shoppers. | |
yes, all the markets just started offering wipes to shoppers. i'm going to take five wipes. | |
i'm going to take five wipes. what do you need five of them for? | |
what do you need five of them for? one to wipe the handle, and the others to wipe the produce. | |
one to wipe the handle, and the others to wipe the produce. what's the matter with the produce? | |
what's the matter with the produce? do you think the bananas fell from the sky? | |
do you think the bananas fell from the sky? what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? i mean, someone used their dirty hands to pick the bananas, the apples, and the oranges. | |
i mean, someone used their dirty hands to pick the bananas, the apples, and the oranges. well, you better save a wipe for the dirty dollar bills you're going to pay with. | |
did you go to the 99 cents store? yes, i did. | |
yes, i did. what did you buy? | |
what did you buy? well, i got a lot of good deals, as usual. | |
well, i got a lot of good deals, as usual. like what? | |
like what? well, a dozen large eggs were only 99 cents. | |
well, a dozen large eggs were only 99 cents. that's a good deal. | |
that's a good deal. and a one-pound tub of soft butter was the same price. | |
and a one-pound tub of soft butter was the same price. another good deal. | |
another good deal. but the best deal was five pounds of potatoes for 99 cents. | |
but the best deal was five pounds of potatoes for 99 cents. i don't know how that store makes money. | |
i don't know how that store makes money. neither do i, but they're doing something right. | |
i need a new computer. what's the matter with yours? | |
what's the matter with yours? it's six years old. | |
it's six years old. that's pretty old. | |
that's pretty old. it still works, but i'm going to give it to a charity. | |
it still works, but i'm going to give it to a charity. are you going to buy a desktop or laptop? | |
are you going to buy a desktop or laptop? oh, a laptop, of course. | |
oh, a laptop, of course. a pc or a mac? | |
a pc or a mac? i haven't decided yet. | |
i haven't decided yet. more and more people are using macs. | |
more and more people are using macs. but 90 percent of the world uses pcs. | |
but 90 percent of the world uses pcs. and that's not going to change anytime soon. | |
i got ripped off. what happened? | |
what happened? i had a car problem, so i went online. | |
i had a car problem, so i went online. did you find a solution? | |
did you find a solution? yes, i did. a site i went to said they would send me the solution. | |
yes, i did. a site i went to said they would send me the solution. so, what's the problem? | |
so, what's the problem? i sent them $20 using my credit card, but they never sent me the solution. | |
i sent them $20 using my credit card, but they never sent me the solution. what are you going to do? | |
what are you going to do? i sent them an email asking for my money back. | |
i sent them an email asking for my money back. have you heard from them? | |
have you heard from them? not yet. it's been a week. | |
not yet. it's been a week. well, i guess that's a $20 lesson for you. | |
where's the pencil sharpener? which one? | |
which one? any one. i need to sharpen this pencil. | |
any one. i need to sharpen this pencil. i think there's one on the dining room table. | |
i think there's one on the dining room table. i already looked there. | |
i already looked there. did you look in the desk drawer? | |
did you look in the desk drawer? yes, i looked there, too. | |
yes, i looked there, too. don't we have about five sharpeners? | |
don't we have about five sharpeners? yes, but they seem to have legs. | |
yes, but they seem to have legs. tomorrow i'm going to buy an electric sharpener. | |
tomorrow i'm going to buy an electric sharpener. get one with the rubber suction cups on the bottom. | |
get one with the rubber suction cups on the bottom. yes. that way it will stay where i put it. | |
i'm trying to stretch my dollars. how are you doing that? | |
how are you doing that? i started shopping at the dollar store. | |
i started shopping at the dollar store. that saves a lot of money. | |
that saves a lot of money. i bought three pounds of potatoes for a dollar. | |
i bought three pounds of potatoes for a dollar. that's a good deal. | |
that's a good deal. yes, even though some of the potatoes had eyes. | |
yes, even though some of the potatoes had eyes. just put them in the fridge. | |
just put them in the fridge. also, i bought a can of cheap coffee and a bag of good coffee. | |
also, i bought a can of cheap coffee and a bag of good coffee. why did you do that? | |
why did you do that? i mixed them together. | |
i mixed them together. if the coffee still tastes okay, that's a good idea. | |
i really like this house. can we afford it? | |
can we afford it? they want 20 percent down. | |
they want 20 percent down. that's a lot of money. | |
that's a lot of money. but the house is so nice. | |
but the house is so nice. it's in a great neighborhood. | |
it's in a great neighborhood. it's close to the beach. | |
it's close to the beach. it's close to the freeways. | |
it's close to the freeways. it's got a big yard. | |
it's got a big yard. the kids love the house, too. | |
the kids love the house, too. if we don't buy it, someone else will. | |
if we don't buy it, someone else will. you're right. let's buy it now. we can worry later. | |
we can't afford this house. are you sure? | |
are you sure? we will be house rich, but cash poor. | |
we will be house rich, but cash poor. what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? our monthly payments will be too high. | |
our monthly payments will be too high. we won't have any money for other things? | |
we won't have any money for other things? no, we won't have money for gas or food. | |
no, we won't have money for gas or food. we'll be eating peanut butter sandwiches? | |
we'll be eating peanut butter sandwiches? without the peanut butter! | |
without the peanut butter! that's no good! | |
that's no good! we have to find a cheaper house. | |
we have to find a cheaper house. of course. we can't live without gas or peanut butter. | |
that is a beautiful house. i don't like it. | |
i don't like it. what's the matter with it? | |
what's the matter with it? it's on the corner. | |
it's on the corner. so? | |
so? that means it gets twice as much traffic. | |
that means it gets twice as much traffic. you're right. | |
you're right. when you're inside, you will always hear cars stopping and stopping at the intersection. | |
when you're inside, you will always hear cars stopping and stopping at the intersection. or you'll hear the collision if someone doesn't stop. | |
or you'll hear the collision if someone doesn't stop. or you'll see the collision if they crash into the house. | |
or you'll see the collision if they crash into the house. let's find a house that's at the end of a dead end. | |
let's find a house that's at the end of a dead end. that's perfect. the less traffic, the better. | |
i hate looking for an apartment. me, too. | |
me, too. we have a 2 o'clock appointment to see the one on main street. | |
we have a 2 o'clock appointment to see the one on main street. we'd better get ready to go. | |
we'd better get ready to go. it's an upstairs unit. | |
it's an upstairs unit. that's good, because i don't want to live under people with loud feet. | |
that's good, because i don't want to live under people with loud feet. and it's a corner unit. | |
and it's a corner unit. that's great. we won't have neighbors on both sides of us. | |
that's great. we won't have neighbors on both sides of us. no pets are allowed. | |
no pets are allowed. perfect. we don't have to listen to barking dogs. | |
perfect. we don't have to listen to barking dogs. and there are only six units in the whole building. | |
and there are only six units in the whole building. where's the checkbook? i'm ready to rent it without even seeing it. | |
did you call the manager? yes. he said he'd come over tomorrow. | |
yes. he said he'd come over tomorrow. did he say what time? | |
did he say what time? yes. he said he'd be here at 9 o'clock. | |
yes. he said he'd be here at 9 o'clock. did he understand what the problem is? | |
did he understand what the problem is? yes. i told him our doorbell doesn't work. | |
yes. i told him our doorbell doesn't work. it shouldn't take him long to fix it. | |
it shouldn't take him long to fix it. i don't even know why we need to fix it. | |
i don't even know why we need to fix it. in case we have visitors. | |
in case we have visitors. but they can just knock on the door. | |
but they can just knock on the door. actually, i want him to look at our carpet, too. | |
actually, i want him to look at our carpet, too. yes, it would be nice if he'd give us a new carpet. | |
do you like this house? yes, it's beautiful. | |
yes, it's beautiful. it's perfect for us and the kids. | |
it's perfect for us and the kids. three bedrooms, three bathrooms, and a big back yard. | |
three bedrooms, three bathrooms, and a big back yard. and we can afford it! | |
and we can afford it! so are we going to buy it? | |
so are we going to buy it? i'm afraid not. | |
i'm afraid not. it's too far from your job, isn't it? | |
it's too far from your job, isn't it? i can't spend four hours on the road every day. | |
i can't spend four hours on the road every day. by the time you get home, you'll be too tired to even eat. | |
by the time you get home, you'll be too tired to even eat. i won't be able to play with the kids. | |
i won't be able to play with the kids. no, we have to find something closer to your job. | |
boy, it's chilly outside, isn't it? it sure is. | |
it sure is. in fact, it's chilly in the apartment, too. | |
in fact, it's chilly in the apartment, too. let's turn on the heat. | |
let's turn on the heat. i'll check to make sure that all the windows are shut. | |
i'll check to make sure that all the windows are shut. it should be warmer in a few minutes. | |
it should be warmer in a few minutes. it's so nice to have a heated apartment. | |
it's so nice to have a heated apartment. how did they survive in the old days? | |
how did they survive in the old days? they had fireplaces. | |
they had fireplaces. someone had to chop the wood. | |
someone had to chop the wood. and carry it into the house. | |
and carry it into the house. all we have to do is flip a switch. | |
this is a nice neighborhood. the streets are clean and quiet. | |
the streets are clean and quiet. the neighbors don't party on the weekends. | |
the neighbors don't party on the weekends. people take care of their lawns. | |
people take care of their lawns. no rusty old cars are sitting in the front yards. | |
no rusty old cars are sitting in the front yards. we never have to call the police about anything. | |
we never have to call the police about anything. our kids are completely safe. | |
our kids are completely safe. so why are we selling our house? | |
so why are we selling our house? they're building a 3-story apartment building on the corner. | |
they're building a 3-story apartment building on the corner. so we've got to sell before property values go down? | |
so we've got to sell before property values go down? yes. i still can't believe our city council allowed this building. | |
yes. i still can't believe our city council allowed this building. they're probably getting something under the table. | |
that was a huge fire in santa barbara. yes, it was. | |
yes, it was. they said about 30 houses burned to the ground. | |
they said about 30 houses burned to the ground. and they were expensive houses. | |
and they were expensive houses. i feel so sorry for those people. | |
i feel so sorry for those people. why feel sorry for rich people? | |
why feel sorry for rich people? i feel sorry for anyone who loses their home. | |
i feel sorry for anyone who loses their home. so do i, but not if they're rich. | |
so do i, but not if they're rich. what does that have to do with it? | |
what does that have to do with it? rich people think they're better than us. | |
rich people think they're better than us. how many rich people do you know? | |
how many rich people do you know? none. | |
bears are invading our neighborhoods. of course they are. they're starving to death. | |
of course they are. they're starving to death. they should stay in the woods where they belong. | |
they should stay in the woods where they belong. there's no food in the woods. | |
there's no food in the woods. can't they eat grass? | |
can't they eat grass? do you think a bear is a cow? | |
do you think a bear is a cow? well, i've seen them eating berries. | |
well, i've seen them eating berries. berries aren't in season all year round. | |
berries aren't in season all year round. it's too dangerous for kids and pets. | |
it's too dangerous for kids and pets. people need to cover their trash cans. | |
people need to cover their trash cans. the police need to shoot all the bears. | |
the police need to shoot all the bears. you don't solve a problem by shooting it. | |
who did you vote for? i voted for obama. | |
i voted for obama. me too. | |
me too. he will be a great president. | |
he will be a great president. everyone likes him. | |
everyone likes him. he's a good speaker. | |
he's a good speaker. and he's really smart. | |
and he's really smart. he will solve our problems. | |
he will solve our problems. he will end the war. | |
he will end the war. the next four years will be good years. | |
the next four years will be good years. i'll vote for him next time, too. | |
i'll vote for him next time, too. i think everyone will. | |
the election is next week. who are you voting for? | |
who are you voting for? i'm not voting for the mayor. | |
i'm not voting for the mayor. why not? | |
why not? he made promises that he didn't keep. | |
he made promises that he didn't keep. like what? | |
like what? he promised to hire 1,000 more police officers. | |
he promised to hire 1,000 more police officers. how many did he hire? | |
how many did he hire? one hundred! | |
one hundred! maybe he had a good reason. | |
maybe he had a good reason. maybe he's just a liar. | |
maybe he's just a liar. maybe i'll vote for someone else, too. | |
i can't believe he won the election. only 15 percent of the voters turned out. | |
only 15 percent of the voters turned out. that is a joke. | |
that is a joke. voting is so important, but people don't bother. | |
voting is so important, but people don't bother. many people think their vote doesn't matter. | |
many people think their vote doesn't matter. the mayor won by only 2,000 votes. | |
the mayor won by only 2,000 votes. we're stuck with him for four more years. | |
we're stuck with him for four more years. voting is so easy. you can even mail your ballot in. | |
voting is so easy. you can even mail your ballot in. all you have to do is vote and put a stamp on it. | |
all you have to do is vote and put a stamp on it. how easy is that? | |
how easy is that? i guess people just don't care. | |
i guess people just don't care. they'll care when they see their taxes go up. | |
well, we have a new president. but we have the same old problems. | |
but we have the same old problems. well, he's made a few changes. | |
well, he's made a few changes. like what? | |
like what? i think he closed the bowling alley in the white house. | |
i think he closed the bowling alley in the white house. oh, yeah. he's changing it to a basketball court. | |
oh, yeah. he's changing it to a basketball court. who's paying for that? | |
who's paying for that? i think we are! | |
i think we are! well, that's okay, as long as it helps him relax and think more clearly. | |
well, that's okay, as long as it helps him relax and think more clearly. yes, we need a relaxed president who thinks clearly. | |
yes, we need a relaxed president who thinks clearly. do any other world leaders have a basketball court? | |
do any other world leaders have a basketball court? they will. you know america always leads the way. | |
people say that everybody loves obama. well, more than 50 million people voted for mccain. | |
well, more than 50 million people voted for mccain. that's 50 million people who don't love obama. | |
that's 50 million people who don't love obama. obama's got four years to make everyone happy. | |
obama's got four years to make everyone happy. he's never going to make everyone happy. | |
he's never going to make everyone happy. can you imagine being president? | |
can you imagine being president? everyone wants you to solve their problems. | |
everyone wants you to solve their problems. i have enough stress from trying to solve my own problems. | |
i have enough stress from trying to solve my own problems. you and everybody else. | |
you and everybody else. i would never want to be president. | |
i would never want to be president. but think about all the power you'd have. | |
but think about all the power you'd have. i prefer my quiet little life to all the power in the world. | |
did you read this article? what article? | |
what article? it says the mayor spends only 11 percent of his time on city duties. | |
it says the mayor spends only 11 percent of his time on city duties. only 11 percent? | |
only 11 percent? about 50 percent of the time he's traveling. | |
about 50 percent of the time he's traveling. where does he travel to? | |
where does he travel to? oh, all over the world. | |
oh, all over the world. but he's supposed to be making our city a better place. | |
but he's supposed to be making our city a better place. he's visiting other cities to get ideas. | |
he's visiting other cities to get ideas. can't he just go online? | |
can't he just go online? the rest of the time he's raising money for his reelection. | |
the rest of the time he's raising money for his reelection. well, he'll never get reelected once this news gets out. | |
who did you vote for for president? i voted for ralph nader. | |
i voted for ralph nader. who in the world is ralph nader? | |
who in the world is ralph nader? he's the best man for president. | |
he's the best man for president. why's that? | |
why's that? he hates corporations. | |
he hates corporations. well, most corporations do think only about money. | |
well, most corporations do think only about money. he hates democrats and republicans. | |
he hates democrats and republicans. well, they do put their party before their country. | |
well, they do put their party before their country. he's the only candidate that i trust. | |
he's the only candidate that i trust. but he didn't have a chance. nobody voted for him! | |
but he didn't have a chance. nobody voted for him! sooner or later, voters will wake up. | |
i don't know why i bother to vote. why's that? | |
why's that? what good does it do? | |
what good does it do? you get to put someone in power that you like. | |
you get to put someone in power that you like. only if my candidate wins. | |
only if my candidate wins. well, he can't win unless you and others vote for him. | |
well, he can't win unless you and others vote for him. but even if my candidate wins, he'll break his promises. | |
but even if my candidate wins, he'll break his promises. that's true. they promise anything just so they get elected. | |
that's true. they promise anything just so they get elected. and when elected, they go their own way. | |
and when elected, they go their own way. they forget who put them in power. | |
they forget who put them in power. they forget where they came from. | |
they forget where they came from. maybe you should run for office. | |
that election for u.s. senator stunk. what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? there were more votes than voters! | |
there were more votes than voters! but that's impossible. | |
but that's impossible. officials said that it's possible. | |
officials said that it's possible. did they explain how it's possible? | |
did they explain how it's possible? no. they said there are some things you can't explain. | |
no. they said there are some things you can't explain. so are they going to hold another election? | |
so are they going to hold another election? no. that will cost too much money. | |
no. that will cost too much money. so it's better to save money than to have an honest election? | |
so it's better to save money than to have an honest election? well, the democratic party says it was an honest election. | |
well, the democratic party says it was an honest election. of course they say thattheir man won! | |
i see that former president bush is at a conference. yes. he's telling jokes about his eight years as president. | |
yes. he's telling jokes about his eight years as president. yes, those eight years were a lot of fun for everyone. | |
yes, those eight years were a lot of fun for everyone. only 4,000 american soldiers were killed overseas. | |
only 4,000 american soldiers were killed overseas. not to mention 40,000 wounded soldiers. | |
not to mention 40,000 wounded soldiers. but bush visited some of them in the hospital once. | |
but bush visited some of them in the hospital once. that's nice that he found the time to make a visit. | |
that's nice that he found the time to make a visit. he spoke to them and made them feel better. | |
he spoke to them and made them feel better. did he speak to every family that lost a soldier? | |
did he speak to every family that lost a soldier? no, he didn't have time to do that. | |
no, he didn't have time to do that. well, he's got plenty of time now! | |
well, he's got plenty of time now! no, he's too busy writing a book about how hard it was to be president. | |
did you get your official sample ballot? yes, with the voter instructions. | |
yes, with the voter instructions. how are you going to vote? | |
how are you going to vote? same as ever, by mail. all it costs me is a 42-cent stamp. | |
same as ever, by mail. all it costs me is a 42-cent stamp. i meant, are you going to vote for or against the new taxes? | |
i meant, are you going to vote for or against the new taxes? against all of them, of course. | |
against all of them, of course. but we need new taxes to pay for highways, schools, and prisons. | |
but we need new taxes to pay for highways, schools, and prisons. we've already voted for new taxes to pay for all that stuff! | |
we've already voted for new taxes to pay for all that stuff! that's true. where did that money go? | |
that's true. where did that money go? our legislators spent it on first-class travel all over the world. | |
our legislators spent it on first-class travel all over the world. they are having a good time with our money. | |
they are having a good time with our money. so when are we going to stop giving them more? | |
have you decided how you are going to vote? do you mean on measures 1, 2, and 3? | |
do you mean on measures 1, 2, and 3? yes. the ones that will improve our schools, roads, and hospitals. | |
yes. the ones that will improve our schools, roads, and hospitals. you mean the measures that will raise our taxes. | |
you mean the measures that will raise our taxes. but the tv ads say that our taxes will not increase. | |
but the tv ads say that our taxes will not increase. do you believe the tv ads? | |
do you believe the tv ads? i like the one where the fireman tells us why we should vote yes. | |
i like the one where the fireman tells us why we should vote yes. don't believe him! whatever the tv ads tell you, the opposite is true. | |
don't believe him! whatever the tv ads tell you, the opposite is true. but the title of measure 1 is "better schools at no cost." | |
but the title of measure 1 is "better schools at no cost." the title should be "better schools at huge cost." | |
the title should be "better schools at huge cost." i can't believe that they would lie to us. | |
i can't believe that they would lie to us. of course they liethat's what politicians do! | |
i have a stomachache. is it something you ate? | |
is it something you ate? maybe. i'm not sure. | |
maybe. i'm not sure. what did you have for breakfast? | |
what did you have for breakfast? the usual, cereal with milk and a banana. | |
the usual, cereal with milk and a banana. maybe the milk was bad. | |
maybe the milk was bad. it didn't smell bad. | |
it didn't smell bad. maybe the banana was bad. | |
maybe the banana was bad. no, the banana was delicious. | |
no, the banana was delicious. maybe you just need to go to the bathroom. | |
maybe you just need to go to the bathroom. no, that's not the problem. | |
no, that's not the problem. maybe it will go away in a little while. | |
what's this stain? i don't know. | |
i don't know. it looks like blood. | |
it looks like blood. i think my nose was bleeding. | |
i think my nose was bleeding. you should wet your shirt immediately. | |
you should wet your shirt immediately. why? | |
why? because that gets the blood out of the shirt. | |
because that gets the blood out of the shirt. what's a little blood? | |
what's a little blood? your white shirt is ruined. | |
your white shirt is ruined. so, i'll just buy another one. | |
so, i'll just buy another one. you can wear this one around the house. | |
you can wear this one around the house. next time i'll soak it immediately. | |
my fingers hurt. why do they hurt? | |
why do they hurt? i type too much. | |
i type too much. you should take a break. | |
you should take a break. i need to type to make money. | |
i need to type to make money. but typing is causing you pain. | |
but typing is causing you pain. maybe i should see a doctor. | |
maybe i should see a doctor. doctors are too expensive. | |
doctors are too expensive. he might tell me to rest for a while. | |
he might tell me to rest for a while. he might want to cut you open. | |
he might want to cut you open. he might say i'm okay. | |
he might say i'm okay. he might say you have bone cancer. | |
what did the doctor say? he thinks i have too much stress. | |
he thinks i have too much stress. stress causes your stomachaches? | |
stress causes your stomachaches? stress causes different problems with different people. | |
stress causes different problems with different people. so what did he tell you to do? | |
so what did he tell you to do? he said i need to think positive. | |
he said i need to think positive. he didn't give you any medication? | |
he didn't give you any medication? i hate medication. it makes me feel different. | |
i hate medication. it makes me feel different. so how do you think positive? | |
so how do you think positive? i think about nice things. | |
i think about nice things. like what? | |
like what? like a day at the beach, with my toes in the sand. | |
i cut my finger. how did you do that? | |
how did you do that? it's a paper cut. | |
it's a paper cut. paper can be dangerous. | |
paper can be dangerous. it hurts, too. | |
it hurts, too. paper cuts can hurt a lot. | |
paper cuts can hurt a lot. where are the band-aids? | |
where are the band-aids? i think they're in the medicine cabinet. | |
i think they're in the medicine cabinet. it's on the tip of my finger. | |
it's on the tip of my finger. a band-aid might not work. | |
a band-aid might not work. i must not use this finger until the cut heals. | |
i must not use this finger until the cut heals. it might take a day or two to heal. | |
do you smell that? oh, yes. | |
oh, yes. i can't stand cigarette smoke. | |
i can't stand cigarette smoke. it smells so bad. | |
it smells so bad. one cigarette stinks up the whole sidewalk. | |
one cigarette stinks up the whole sidewalk. smokers think they are so cool. | |
smokers think they are so cool. they are so weak. | |
they are so weak. a little cigarette controls them. | |
a little cigarette controls them. they look so stupid taking a puff. | |
they look so stupid taking a puff. and then they blow smoke out of their mouth. | |
and then they blow smoke out of their mouth. they think it's cool. | |
they think it's cool. cigarettes stink. | |
do you have a cold? yes, i do. | |
yes, i do. how did you get it? | |
how did you get it? my sister had a cold. she gave it to me. | |
my sister had a cold. she gave it to me. have you taken anything for your cold? | |
have you taken anything for your cold? no, i just blow my nose a lot. | |
no, i just blow my nose a lot. your nose is stopped up? | |
your nose is stopped up? yes. i have to breathe through my mouth. | |
yes. i have to breathe through my mouth. have you tried nose drops? | |
have you tried nose drops? no, i don't like nose drops. | |
no, i don't like nose drops. they work great. | |
they work great. i don't care. i don't like to put drops in my nose. | |
would you put suntan lotion on my back, please? sure. | |
sure. thank you. | |
thank you. you shouldn't lie in the sun for too long. | |
you shouldn't lie in the sun for too long. i want to get a tan. i don't want to look so pale. | |
i want to get a tan. i don't want to look so pale. what's wrong with looking pale? | |
what's wrong with looking pale? people think you might be sick. | |
people think you might be sick. who thinks that? | |
who thinks that? i don't know. | |
i don't know. it's better to be pale than to have skin cancer. | |
it's better to be pale than to have skin cancer. i know that. | |
i know that. so why are you arguing with me? don't lie in the sun too long! | |
i can't quit smoking. of course you can. | |
of course you can. i don't have enough will power. | |
i don't have enough will power. of course you do. | |
of course you do. i wish i had never started. | |
i wish i had never started. so does every smoker. | |
so does every smoker. i've tried to quit so many times. | |
i've tried to quit so many times. so has everyone else. | |
so has everyone else. nothing seems to work. | |
nothing seems to work. all it takes is will power, and you have it. | |
all it takes is will power, and you have it. then why can't i quit? | |
then why can't i quit? you have to believe in yourself. | |
my back is killing me. what did you do? | |
what did you do? i got out of my car. | |
i got out of my car. that's it? | |
that's it? i injured my back one time just by sneezing. | |
i injured my back one time just by sneezing. you should see a doctor. | |
you should see a doctor. my doctor said i need surgery. | |
my doctor said i need surgery. so? | |
so? so, forget it. | |
so, forget it. you don't have the money? | |
you don't have the money? i have no insurance. | |
i have no insurance. maybe a back rub would help. | |
my brother smokes three packs a day. three packs of what? | |
three packs of what? cigarettes, of course. | |
cigarettes, of course. how can he do that? | |
how can he do that? when he is almost finished with one cigarette, he uses it to light another. | |
when he is almost finished with one cigarette, he uses it to light another. he's a chain smoker. | |
he's a chain smoker. he's been a chain smoker for 30 years. | |
he's been a chain smoker for 30 years. that's unbelievable. can he still breathe? | |
that's unbelievable. can he still breathe? he can, but the people around him can't. | |
he can, but the people around him can't. how can he still be alive? | |
how can he still be alive? his doctor says his heart and lungs are strong and healthy. | |
his doctor says his heart and lungs are strong and healthy. maybe i should start smoking. | |
i hate brushing my teeth. it's such a chore. | |
it's such a chore. brush, brush. spit, spit. | |
brush, brush. spit, spit. what did they do in the old days? | |
what did they do in the old days? they brushed with their fingers. | |
they brushed with their fingers. they also ate with their fingers! | |
they also ate with their fingers! why do they call it the good old days? | |
why do they call it the good old days? maybe because they didn't have to brush and floss. | |
maybe because they didn't have to brush and floss. who invented flossing? | |
who invented flossing? a dentist, i'm sure. | |
a dentist, i'm sure. i hate flossing more than brushing! | |
i hate flossing more than brushing! i can't wait till all my teeth fall out. | |
let's stop for a while. i need a break and some water. this trail is hard to climb. | |
this trail is hard to climb. especially on a hot day like this. | |
especially on a hot day like this. i can't believe we haven't seen any animals. | |
i can't believe we haven't seen any animals. thank goodness! i don't want to see any wild animals. | |
thank goodness! i don't want to see any wild animals. all we've seen so far is a couple of lizards. | |
all we've seen so far is a couple of lizards. we're hiking to lose weight, not to see goats and bears. | |
we're hiking to lose weight, not to see goats and bears. i bet i've lost a couple of pounds already. | |
i bet i've lost a couple of pounds already. all you've lost is some sweat. | |
all you've lost is some sweat. i haven't even lost one pound of fat? | |
i haven't even lost one pound of fat? if you want to lose fat, you've got to do this hike every day. | |
if you want to lose fat, you've got to do this hike every day. okay, but let's hike in town. at least there are cats and dogs to see. | |
oh no, another pimple on my face. pimples suck. | |
pimples suck. it seems like i get a new pimple almost every day. | |
it seems like i get a new pimple almost every day. maybe it's something in your diet. | |
maybe it's something in your diet. no, i eat the same things day after day. | |
no, i eat the same things day after day. then maybe it's in your genes. | |
then maybe it's in your genes. you might be right. | |
you might be right. do pimples run in your family? | |
do pimples run in your family? not that i've noticed. | |
not that i've noticed. well, maybe it's from the pollution in the air. | |
well, maybe it's from the pollution in the air. whatever the cause, i hate seeing them on my face. | |
whatever the cause, i hate seeing them on my face. well, on the bright side, they're fun to pop. | |
do you believe everything you hear? i don't believe anything i don't see with my own eyes. | |
i don't believe anything i don't see with my own eyes. you can't believe what you hear on tv or radio. | |
you can't believe what you hear on tv or radio. you can't believe what you read in the newspapers. | |
you can't believe what you read in the newspapers. everyone tells you a different story about the same thing. | |
everyone tells you a different story about the same thing. three different people will give you three different stories. | |
three different people will give you three different stories. and the government will give you a fourth story. | |
and the government will give you a fourth story. yes, like the government says not to worry about the swine flu. | |
yes, like the government says not to worry about the swine flu. but the swine flu just killed 20 people in mexico. | |
but the swine flu just killed 20 people in mexico. the government says we have nothing to worry about. | |
the government says we have nothing to worry about. then why are some schools telling the kids to stay home? | |
then why are some schools telling the kids to stay home? the government says to wash our hands frequently, and we'll all be okay. | |
don't pick your nose. i wasn't picking my nose. | |
i wasn't picking my nose. what were you doing? | |
what were you doing? i was scratching my nose. | |
i was scratching my nose. i think i know the difference between picking and scratching. | |
i think i know the difference between picking and scratching. okay, mom, maybe i was picking it a little bit. | |
okay, mom, maybe i was picking it a little bit. use a tissue next time. | |
use a tissue next time. i didn't have a tissue. | |
i didn't have a tissue. then wait till you find a tissue. | |
then wait till you find a tissue. i couldn't wait. it was an emergency. | |
i couldn't wait. it was an emergency. oh, really? maybe you should have called 911. | |
oh, really? maybe you should have called 911. it wasn't that kind of emergency. | |
our tv remote is filthy. yes, it's covered with crud. | |
yes, it's covered with crud. i'm going to clean it. | |
i'm going to clean it. don't use water on it! | |
don't use water on it! i'll use a damp cloth. | |
i'll use a damp cloth. don't let water get into any of the cracks. | |
don't let water get into any of the cracks. i'll squeeze the cloth so it's almost dry. | |
i'll squeeze the cloth so it's almost dry. don't rub the numbers off the remote. | |
don't rub the numbers off the remote. i will rub gently but firmly. | |
i will rub gently but firmly. do it quickly, please, so i can change channels during commercials. | |
do it quickly, please, so i can change channels during commercials. i'll give it back to you in a couple of minutes. | |
i'll give it back to you in a couple of minutes. maybe we should put it in a plastic bag to keep it clean. | |
my ear is killing me. what's the matter? | |
what's the matter? i was on a plane. | |
i was on a plane. so? | |
so? so, every time the plane goes up, my ear starts to hurt. | |
so, every time the plane goes up, my ear starts to hurt. that's no good. | |
that's no good. sometimes the pain goes away, and sometimes it doesn't. | |
sometimes the pain goes away, and sometimes it doesn't. have you seen a doctor? | |
have you seen a doctor? i've been to two doctors. | |
i've been to two doctors. and they couldn't fix your problem? | |
and they couldn't fix your problem? they both said i have to live with it. | |
they both said i have to live with it. or you can stay off planes. | |
did you see the woman with the new face? did she get a nice job? | |
did she get a nice job? she got an "everything" job! | |
she got an "everything" job! what do you mean? | |
what do you mean? a team of doctors gave her a whole new face. | |
a team of doctors gave her a whole new face. why did they do that? | |
why did they do that? a mad dog bit most of her face off. | |
a mad dog bit most of her face off. oh, that's terrible. what does she look like now? | |
oh, that's terrible. what does she look like now? her face is really fat, but they say the swelling will go down. | |
her face is really fat, but they say the swelling will go down. and then will she look normal again? | |
and then will she look normal again? i guess so. | |
i guess so. god bless modern medicine. | |
there's something wrong with my right hand. what's wrong with it? | |
what's wrong with it? it aches most of the time. | |
it aches most of the time. what do you think it is? | |
what do you think it is? i don't know. i think it's old age. | |
i don't know. i think it's old age. if it's old age, why don't both of your hands hurt? | |
if it's old age, why don't both of your hands hurt? that's a good question. maybe it's not old age. | |
that's a good question. maybe it's not old age. are you right-handed? | |
are you right-handed? yes. all my life. | |
yes. all my life. you're wearing out your right hand. stop using it so much. | |
you're wearing out your right hand. stop using it so much. but i do all my writing with my right hand. | |
but i do all my writing with my right hand. start typing instead. that way your left hand will do half the work. |