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EIGHT THINGS THIS BOOK WILL
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HELP YOU ACHIEVE
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1. Get out of a mental rut, think new thoughts, acquire new visions, discover new
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ambitions.
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2. Make friends quickly and easily.
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3. Increase your popularity.
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4. Win people to your way of thinking.
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5. Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to get things done.
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6. Handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep your human contacts smooth and
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pleasant.
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7. Become a better speaker, a more entertaining conversationalist.
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8. Arouse enthusiasm among your associates.
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This book has done all these things for more than fifteen million readers in thirtysix languages.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
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A Biographical Sketch of Dale Carnegie........................................................................... 5
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How This Book Was Written And Why........................................................................... 15
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Nine Suggestions on How to Get the Most Out of This Book............................................ 21
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PART ONE: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People............................................ 25
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1 - IF YOU WANT TO GATHER HONEY, DON’T KICK OVER THE BEEHIVE..... 25
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2 - THE BIG SECRET OF DEALING WITH PEOPLE.................................................. 37
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3 - HE WHO CAN DO THIS HAS THE WHOLE WORLD WITH HIM...................... 48
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PART TWO: Ways to Make People Like You............................................................... 65
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1 - DO THIS AND YOU’LL BE WELCOME ANYWHERE......................................... 65
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2 - A SIMPLE WAY TO MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION............................... 75
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3 - IF YOU DON’T DO THIS, YOU ARE HEADED FOR TROUBLE......................... 82
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4 - AN EASY WAY TO BECOME A GOOD CONVERSATIONALIST..................... 89
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5 - HOW TO INTEREST PEOPLE................................................................................ 97
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6 - HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU INSTANTLY............................................. 101
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PART THREE: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking....................................... 112
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1 - YOU CAN’T WIN AN ARGUMENT...................................................................... 112
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2 - A SURE WAY OF MAKING ENEMIES—AND HOW TO AVOID IT................... 118
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3 - IF YOU’RE WRONG, ADMIT IT............................................................................ 127
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4 - A DROP OF HONEY............................................................................................... 134
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5 - THE SECRET OF SOCRATES................................................................................ 141
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6 - THE SAFETY VALVE IN HANDLING COMPLAINTS......................................... 146
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7 - HOW TO GET COOPERATION............................................................................. 150
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8 - A FORMULA THAT WILL WORK WONDERS FOR YOU.................................. 155
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9 - WHAT EVERYBODY WANTS.............................................................................. 159
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10 - AN APPEAL THAT EVERYBODY LIKES........................................................... 166
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11 - THE MOVIES DO IT. TV DOES IT....WHY DON’T YOU DO IT?...................... 171
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12 - WHEN NOTHING ELSE WORKS, TRY THIS..................................................... 175
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PART FOUR: How to Change People Without Giving Offense..................................... 179
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1 - IF YOU MUST FIND FAULT, THIS IS THE WAY TO BEGIN............................. 179
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2 - HOW TO CRITICIZE....AND NOT BE HATED FOR IT........................................ 184
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3 - TALK ABOUT YOUR OWN MISTAKES FIRST................................................... 187
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4 - NO ONE LIKES TO TAKE ORDERS..................................................................... 191
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5 - LET THE OTHER PERSON SAVE FACE............................................................... 193
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6 - HOW TO SPUR PEOPLE ON TO SUCCESS......................................................... 196
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7 - GIVE A DOG A GOOD NAME............................................................................... 200
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8 - MAKE THE FAULT SEEM EASY TO CORRECT.................................................. 204
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9 - MAKING PEOPLE GLAD TO DO WHAT YOU WANT....................................... 208
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4
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A Shortcut to Distinction - A Biographical Sketch of Dale Carnegie
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by Lowell Thomas
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It was a cold January night in 1935, but the weather couldn’t keep them away. Two
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thousand five hundred men and women thronged into the grand ballroom of the
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Hotel Pennsylvania in New York. Every available seat was filled by half-past
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seven. At eight o’clock, the eager crowd was still pouring in. The spacious balcony
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was soon jammed. Presently even standing space was at a premium, and hundreds
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of people, tired after navigating a day in business, stood up for an hour and a half
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that night to witness - what?
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A fashion show?
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A six-day bicycle race or a personal appearance by Clark Gable?
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No. These people had been lured there by a newspaper ad. Two evenings
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previously, they had seen this full-page announcement in the New York Sun staring
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them in the face:
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Learn to Speak Effectively
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Prepare for Leadership
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Old stuff? Yes, but believe it or not, in the most sophisticated town on earth, during
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a depression with 20 percent of the population on relief, twenty-five hundred people
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had left their homes and hustled to the hotel in response to that ad.
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The people who responded were of the upper economic strata - executives,
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employers and professionals.
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These men and women had come to hear the opening gun of an ultramodern,
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ultrapractical course in “Effective Speaking and Influencing Men in Business”- a
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course given by the Dale Carnegie Institute of Effective Speaking and Human
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Relations.
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Why were they there, these twenty-five hundred business men and women?
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Because of a sudden hunger for more education because of the depression?
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Apparently not, for this same course had been playing to packed houses in New
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York City every season for the preceding twenty-four years. During that time, more
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than fifteen thousand business and professional people had been trained by Dale
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Carnegie. Even large, skeptical, conservative organizations such as the
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Westinghouse Electric Company, the McGraw-Hill Publishing Company, the
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Brooklyn Union Gas Company, the Brooklyn Chamber of Commerce, the
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American Institute of Electrical Engineers and the New York Telephone
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Company have had this training conducted in their own offices for the benefit of
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their members and executives.
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The fact that these people, ten or twenty years after leaving grade school, high
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school or college, come and take this training is a glaring commentary on the
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shocking deficiencies of our educational system.
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What do adults really want to study? That is an important question; and in order to
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answer it, the University of Chicago, the American Association for Adult
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Education, and the United Y.M.C.A. Schools made a survey over a two-year period.
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That survey revealed that the prime interest of adults is health. It also revealed that
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their second interest is in developing skill in human relationships - they want to
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learn the technique of getting along with and influencing other people. They don’t
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want to become public speakers, and they don’t want to listen to a lot of high
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sounding talk about psychology; they want suggestions they can use immediately in
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business, in social contacts and in the home.
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So that was what adults wanted to study, was it?
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“All right,” said the people making the survey. "Fine. If that is what they want,
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we’ll give it to them.”
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Looking around for a textbook, they discovered that no working manual had ever
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been written to help people solve their daily problems in human relationships.
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Here was a fine kettle of fish! For hundreds of years, learned volumes had been
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written on Greek and Latin and higher mathematics - topics about which the
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average adult doesn’t give two hoots. But on the one subject on which he has a
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thirst for knowledge, a veritable passion for guidance and help - nothing!
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This explained the presence of twenty-five hundred eager adults crowding into the
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grand ballroom of the Hotel Pennsylvania in response to a newspaper
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advertisement. Here, apparently, at last was the thing for which they had long been
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seeking.
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Back in high school and college, they had pored over books, believing that
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knowledge alone was the open sesame to financial - and professional rewards.
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But a few years in the rough-and-tumble of business and professional life had
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brought sharp disillusionment. They had seen some of the most important business
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successes won by men who possessed, in addition to their knowledge, the ability to
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talk well, to win people to their way of thinking, and to "sell" themselves and their
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ideas.
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They soon discovered that if one aspired to wear the captain’s cap and navigate the
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ship of business, personality and the ability to talk are more important than a
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knowledge of Latin verbs or a sheepskin from Harvard.
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The advertisement in the New York Sun promised that the meeting would be highly
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entertaining. It was. Eighteen people who had taken the course were marshaled in
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front of the loudspeaker - and fifteen of them were given precisely seventy-five
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seconds each to tell his or her story. Only seventy-five seconds of talk, then “bang”
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went the gavel, and the chairman shouted, “Time! Next speaker!”
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The affair moved with the speed of a herd of buffalo thundering across the plains.
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Spectators stood for an hour and a half to watch the performance.
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The speakers were a cross section of life: several sales representatives, a chain store
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executive, a baker, the president of a trade association, two bankers, an insurance
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agent, an accountant, a dentist, an architect, a druggist who had come from
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Indianapolis to New York to take the course, a lawyer who had come from Havana
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in order to prepare himself to give one important three-minute speech.
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The first speaker bore the Gaelic name Patrick J. O'Haire. Born in Ireland, he
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attended school for only four years, drifted to America, worked as a mechanic, then
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as a chauffeur.
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Now, however, he was forty, he had a growing family and needed more money, so
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he tried selling trucks. Suffering from an inferiority complex that, as he put it, was
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eating his heart out, he had to walk up and down in front of an office half a dozen
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times before he could summon up enough courage to open the door. He was so
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discouraged as a salesman that he was thinking of going back to working with his
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hands in a machine shop, when one day he received a letter inviting him to an
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organization meeting of the Dale Carnegie Course in Effective Speaking.
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He didn’t want to attend. He feared he would have to associate with a lot of college
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graduates, that he would be out of place.
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His despairing wife insisted that he go, saying, “It may do you some good, Pat. God
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knows you need it.” He went down to the place where the meeting was to be held
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and stood on the sidewalk for five minutes before he could generate enough selfconfidence to enter the
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room.
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The first few times he tried to speak in front of the others, he was dizzy with fear.
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But as the weeks drifted by, he lost all fear of audiences and soon found that he
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loved to talk - the bigger the crowd, the better. And he also lost his fear of
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individuals and of his superiors. He presented his ideas to them, and soon he had
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been advanced into the sales department. He had become a valued and much liked
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member of his company. This night, in the Hotel Pennsylvania, Patrick O'Haire
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stood in front of twenty-five hundred people and told a gay, rollicking story of his
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achievements. Wave after wave of laughter swept over the audience. Few
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professional speakers could have equaled his performance.
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The next speaker, Godfrey Meyer, was a gray-headed banker, the father of eleven
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children. The first time he had attempted to speak in class, he was literally struck
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dumb. His mind refused to function. His story is a vivid illustration of how
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leadership gravitates to the person who can talk.
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He worked on Wall Street, and for twenty-five years he had been living in Clifton,
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New Jersey. During that time, he had taken no active part in community affairs and
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knew perhaps five hundred people.
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Shortly after he had enrolled in the Carnegie course, he received his tax bill and was
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infuriated by what he considered unjust charges. Ordinarily, he would have sat at
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home and fumed, or he would have taken it out in grousing to his neighbors. But
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instead, he put on his hat that night, walked into the town meeting, and blew off
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steam in public.
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As a result of that talk of indignation, the citizens of Clifton, New Jersey, urged him
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to run for the town council. So for weeks he went from one meeting to another,
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denouncing waste and municipal extravagance.
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There were ninety-six candidates in the field. When the ballots were counted, lo,
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Godfrey Meyer’s name led all the rest. Almost overnight, he had become a public
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figure among the forty thousand people in his community. As a result of his talks,
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he made eighty times more friends in six weeks than he had been able to previously
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in twenty-five years.
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And his salary as councilman meant that he got a return of 1,000 percent a year on
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his investment in the Carnegie course.
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The third speaker, the head of a large national association of food manufacturers,
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told how he had been unable to stand up and express his ideas at meetings of a
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board of directors.
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As a result of learning to think on his feet, two astonishing things happened. He was
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soon made president of his association, and in that capacity, he was obliged to
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address meetings all over the United States. Excerpts from his talks were put on the
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Associated Press wires and printed in newspapers and trade magazines throughout
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the country.
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In two years, after learning to speak more effectively, he received more free
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publicity for his company and its products than he had been able to get previously
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with a quarter of a million dollars spent in direct advertising. This speaker admitted
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that he had formerly hesitated to telephone some of the more important business
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executives in Manhattan and invite them to lunch with him. But as a result of the
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prestige he had acquired by his talks, these same people telephoned him and invited
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him to lunch and apologized to him for encroaching on his time.
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The ability to speak is a shortcut to distinction. It puts a person in the limelight,
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raises one head and shoulders above the crowd. And the person who can speak
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acceptably is usually given credit for an ability out of all proportion to what he or
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she really possesses.
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A movement for adult education has been sweeping over the nation; and the most
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spectacular force in that movement was Dale Carnegie, a man who listened to and
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critiqued more talks by adults than has any other man in captivity. According to a
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cartoon by "Believe-It-or- Not” Ripley, he had criticized 150,000 speeches. If that
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grand total doesn’t impress you, remember that it meant one talk for almost every
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day that has passed since Columbus discovered America. Or, to put it in other
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words, if all the people who had spoken before him had used only three minutes and
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had appeared before him in succession, it would have taken ten months, listening
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day and night, to hear them all.
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Dale Carnegie’s own career, filled with sharp contrasts, was a striking example of
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what a person can accomplish when obsessed with an original idea and afire with
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enthusiasm.
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Born on a Missouri farm ten miles from a railway, he never saw a streetcar until he
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was twelve years old; yet by the time he was forty-six, he was familiar with the farflung corners of the earth, everywhere from Hong Kong to Hammerfest; and, at one
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time, he approached closer to the North Pole than Admiral Byrd’s headquarters at
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Little America was to the South Pole.
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This Missouri lad who had once picked strawberries and cut cockleburs for five
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cents an hour became the highly paid trainer of the executives of large corporations
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in the art of self-expression.
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This erstwhile cowboy who had once punched cattle and branded calves and ridden
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fences out in western South Dakota later went to London to put on shows under the
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patronage of the royal family.
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This chap who was a total failure the first half-dozen times he tried to speak in
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public later became my personal manager. Much of my success has been due to
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training under Dale Carnegie.
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Young Carnegie had to struggle for an education, for hard luck was always
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battering away at the old farm in northwest Missouri with a flying tackle and a body
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slam. Year after year, the “102” River rose and drowned the corn and swept away
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the hay. Season after season, the fat hogs sickened and died from cholera, the
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bottom fell out of the market for cattle and mules, and the bank threatened to
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foreclose the mortgage.
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Sick with discouragement, the family sold out and bought another farm near the
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State Teachers’ College at Warrensburg, Missouri. Board and room could be had in
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town for a dollar a day, but young Carnegie couldn’t afford it. So he stayed on the
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farm and commuted on horseback three miles to college each day. At home, he
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milked the cows, cut the wood, fed the hogs, and studied his Latin verbs by the light
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of a coal-oil lamp until his eyes blurred and he began to nod.
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Even when he got to bed at midnight, he set the alarm for three o’clock. His father
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bred pedigreed Duroc-Jersey hogs - and there was danger, during the bitter cold
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nights, that the young pigs would freeze to death; so they were put in a basket,
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covered with a gunny sack, and set behind the kitchen stove. True to their nature,
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the pigs demanded a hot meal at 3 A.M. So when the alarm went off, Dale Carnegie
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crawled out of the blankets, took the basket of pigs out to their mother, waited for
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them to nurse, and then brought them back to the warmth of the kitchen stove.
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There were six hundred students in State Teachers’ College, and Dale Carnegie was
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one of the isolated half-dozen who couldn’t afford to board in town. He was
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ashamed of the poverty that made it necessary for him to ride back to the farm and
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milk the cows every night. He was ashamed of his coat, which was too tight, and his
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trousers, which were too short. Rapidly developing an inferiority complex, he
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looked about for some shortcut to distinction. He soon saw that there were certain
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groups in college that enjoyed influence and prestige - the football and baseball
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players and the chaps who won the debating and public-speaking contests.
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Realizing that he had no flair for athletics, he decided to win one of the speaking
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contests. He spent months preparing his talks. He practiced as he sat in the saddle
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galloping to college and back; he practiced his speeches as he milked the cows; and
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then he mounted a bale of hay in the barn and with great gusto and gestures
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harangued the frightened pigeons about the issues of the day.
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But in spite of all his earnestness and preparation, he met with defeat after defeat.
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He was eighteen at the time - sensitive and proud. He became so discouraged, so
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depressed, that he even thought of suicide. And then suddenly he began to win, not
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one contest, but every speaking contest in college.
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Other students pleaded with him to train them; and they won also.
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After graduating from college, he started selling correspondence courses to the
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ranchers among the sand hills of western Nebraska and eastern Wyoming. In spite
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of all his boundless energy and enthusiasm, he couldn’t make the grade. He became
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so discouraged that he went to his hotel room in Alliance, Nebraska, in the middle
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of the day, threw himself across the bed, and wept in despair. He longed to go back
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11
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to college, he longed to retreat from the harsh battle of life; but he couldn’t. So he
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resolved to go to Omaha and get another job. He didn’t have the money for a
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railroad ticket, so he traveled on a freight train, feeding and watering two carloads
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of wild horses in return for his passage, After landing in south Omaha, he got a job
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selling bacon and soap and lard for Armour and Company. His territory was up
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among the Badlands and the cow and Indian country of western South Dakota. He
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covered his territory by freight train and stage coach and horseback and slept in
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pioneer hotels where the only partition between the rooms was a sheet of muslin.
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He studied books on salesmanship, rode bucking bronchos, played poker with the
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Indians, and learned how to collect money. And when, for example, an inland
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storekeeper couldn’t pay cash for the bacon and hams he had ordered, Dale
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Carnegie would take a dozen pairs of shoes off his shelf, sell the shoes to the
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railroad men, and forward the receipts to Armour and Company.
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He would often ride a freight train a hundred miles a day. When the train stopped to
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unload freight, he would dash uptown, see three or four merchants, get his orders;
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and when the whistle blew, he would dash down the street again lickety-split and
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swing onto the train while it was moving.
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Within two years, he had taken an unproductive territory that had stood in the
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-
twenty-fifth place and had boosted it to first place among all the twenty-nine car
|
311 |
-
routes leading out of south Omaha. Armour and Company offered to promote him,
|
312 |
-
saying: “You have achieved what seemed impossible.” But he refused the
|
313 |
-
promotion and resigned, went to New York, studied at the American Academy of
|
314 |
-
Dramatic Arts, and toured the country, playing the role of Dr. Hartley in Polly of
|
315 |
-
the Circus.
|
316 |
-
He would never be a Booth or a Barrymore. He had the good sense to recognize
|
317 |
-
that, So back he went to sales work, selling automobiles and trucks for the Packard
|
318 |
-
Motor Car Company.
|
319 |
-
He knew nothing about machinery and cared nothing about it. Dreadfully unhappy,
|
320 |
-
he had to scourge himself to his task each day. He longed to have time to study, to
|
321 |
-
write the books he had dreamed about writing back in college. So he resigned. He
|
322 |
-
was going to spend his days writing stories and novels and support himself by
|
323 |
-
teaching in a night school.
|
324 |
-
Teaching what? As he looked back and evaluated his college work, he saw that his
|
325 |
-
training in public speaking had done more to give him confidence, courage, poise
|
326 |
-
12
|
327 |
-
|
328 |
-
and the ability to meet and deal with people in business than had all the rest of his
|
329 |
-
college courses put together, so he urged the Y.M.C.A. schools in New York to give
|
330 |
-
him a chance to conduct courses in public speaking for people in business.
|
331 |
-
What? Make orators out of business people? Absurd. The Y.M.C.A. people knew.
|
332 |
-
They had tried such courses - and they had always failed. When they refused to pay
|
333 |
-
him a salary of two dollars a night, he agreed to teach on a commission basis and
|
334 |
-
take a percentage of the net profits - if there were any profits to take. And inside of
|
335 |
-
three years they were paying him thirty dollars a night on that basis - instead of two.
|
336 |
-
The course grew. Other "Ys" heard of it, then other cities. Dale Carnegie soon
|
337 |
-
became a glorified circuit rider covering New York, Philadelphia, Baltimore and
|
338 |
-
later London and Paris. All the textbooks were too academic and impractical for the
|
339 |
-
business people who flocked to his courses. Because of this he wrote his own book
|
340 |
-
entitled Public Speaking and Influencing Men in Business. It became the official
|
341 |
-
text of all the Y.M.C.A.s as well as of the American Bankers’ Association and the
|
342 |
-
National Credit Men’s Association.
|
343 |
-
Dale Carnegie claimed that all people can talk when they get mad. He said that if
|
344 |
-
you hit the most ignorant man in town on the jaw and knock him down, he would
|
345 |
-
get on his feet and talk with an eloquence, heat and emphasis that would have
|
346 |
-
rivaled that world famous orator William Jennings Bryan at the height of his career.
|
347 |
-
He claimed that almost any person can speak acceptably in public if he or she has
|
348 |
-
self-confidence and an idea that is boiling and stewing within.
|
349 |
-
The way to develop self-confidence, he said, is to do the thing you fear to do and
|
350 |
-
get a record of successful experiences behind you. So he forced each class member
|
351 |
-
to talk at every session of the course. The audience is sympathetic. They are all in
|
352 |
-
the same boat; and, by constant practice, they develop a courage, confidence and
|
353 |
-
enthusiasm that carry over into their private speaking.
|
354 |
-
Dale Carnegie would tell you that he made a living all these years, not by teaching
|
355 |
-
public speaking - that was incidental. His main job was to help people conquer their
|
356 |
-
fears and develop courage.
|
357 |
-
He started out at first to conduct merely a course in public speaking, but the
|
358 |
-
students who came were business men and women. Many of them hadn’t seen the
|
359 |
-
inside of a classroom in thirty years. Most of them were paying their tuition on the
|
360 |
-
installment plan. They wanted results and they wanted them quick - results that they
|
361 |
-
13
|
362 |
-
|
363 |
-
could use the next day in business interviews and in speaking before groups.
|
364 |
-
So he was forced to be swift and practical. Consequently, he developed a system of
|
365 |
-
training that is unique - a striking combination of public speaking, salesmanship,
|
366 |
-
human relations and applied psychology.
|
367 |
-
A slave to no hard-and-fast rules, he developed a course that is as real as the
|
368 |
-
measles and twice as much fun.
|
369 |
-
When the classes terminated, the graduates formed clubs of their own and continued
|
370 |
-
to meet fortnightly for years afterward. One group of nineteen in Philadelphia met
|
371 |
-
twice a month during the winter season for seventeen years. Class members
|
372 |
-
frequently travel fifty or a hundred miles to attend classes. One student used to
|
373 |
-
commute each week from Chicago to New York. Professor William James of
|
374 |
-
Harvard used to say that the average person develops only 10 percent of his latent
|
375 |
-
mental ability. Dale Carnegie, by helping business men and women to develop their
|
376 |
-
latent possibilities, created one of the most significant movements in adult
|
377 |
-
education
|
378 |
-
LOWELL THOMAS
|
379 |
-
1936
|
380 |
-
|
381 |
-
14
|
382 |
-
|
383 |
-
How This Book Was Written And Why
|
384 |
-
by Dale Carnegie
|
385 |
-
During the first thirty-five years of the twentieth century, the publishing houses of
|
386 |
-
America printed more than a fifth of a million different books. Most of them were
|
387 |
-
deadly dull, and many were financial failures. “Many,” did I say? The president of
|
388 |
-
one of the largest publishing houses in the world confessed to me that his company,
|
389 |
-
after seventy-five years of publishing experience, still lost money on seven out of
|
390 |
-
every eight books it published.
|
391 |
-
Why, then, did I have the temerity to write another book? And, after I had written it,
|
392 |
-
why should you bother to read it?
|
393 |
-
Fair questions, both; and I'll try to answer them.
|
394 |
-
I have, since 1912, been conducting educational courses for business and
|
395 |
-
professional men and women in New York. At first, I conducted courses in public
|
396 |
-
speaking only - courses designed to train adults, by actual experience, to think on
|
397 |
-
their feet and express their ideas with more clarity, more effectiveness and more
|
398 |
-
poise, both in business interviews and before groups.
|
399 |
-
But gradually, as the seasons passed, I realized that as sorely as these adults needed
|
400 |
-
training in effective speaking, they needed still more training in the fine art of
|
401 |
-
getting along with people in everyday business and social contacts.
|
402 |
-
I also gradually realized that I was sorely in need of such training myself. As I look
|
403 |
-
back across the years, I am appalled at my own frequent lack of finesse and
|
404 |
-
understanding. How I wish a book such as this had been placed in my hands twenty
|
405 |
-
years ago! What a priceless boon it would have been.
|
406 |
-
Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem you face, especially if you are
|
407 |
-
in business. Yes, and that is also true if you are a housewife, architect or engineer.
|
408 |
-
Research done a few years ago under the auspices of the Carnegie Foundation for
|
409 |
-
the Advancement of Teaching uncovered a most important and significant fact - a
|
410 |
-
fact later confirmed by additional studies made at the Carnegie Institute of
|
411 |
-
Technology. These investigations revealed that even in such technical lines as
|
412 |
-
engineering, about 15 percent of one's financial success is due to one’s technical
|
413 |
-
knowledge and about 85 percent is due to skill in human engineering-to personality
|
414 |
-
and the ability to lead people.
|
415 |
-
15
|
416 |
-
|
417 |
-
For many years, I conducted courses each season at the Engineers’ Club of
|
418 |
-
Philadelphia, and also courses for the New York Chapter of the American Institute
|
419 |
-
of Electrical Engineers. A total of probably more than fifteen hundred engineers
|
420 |
-
have passed through my classes. They came to me because they had finally realized,
|
421 |
-
after years of observation and experience, that the highest-paid personnel in
|
422 |
-
engineering are frequently not those who know the most about engineering. One
|
423 |
-
can for example, hire mere technical ability in engineering, accountancy,
|
424 |
-
architecture or any other profession at nominal salaries. But the person who has
|
425 |
-
technical knowledge plus the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to
|
426 |
-
arouse enthusiasm among people-that person is headed for higher earning power.
|
427 |
-
In the heyday of his activity, John D. Rockefeller said that “the ability to deal with
|
428 |
-
people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee.” “And I will pay more for
|
429 |
-
that ability,” said John D., “than for any other under the sun.”
|
430 |
-
Wouldn’t you suppose that every college in the land would conduct courses to
|
431 |
-
develop the highest-priced ability under the sun? But if there is just one practical,
|
432 |
-
common-sense course of that kind given for adults in even one college in the land,
|
433 |
-
it has escaped my attention up to the present writing.
|
434 |
-
The University of Chicago and the United Y.M.C.A. Schools conducted a survey to
|
435 |
-
determine what adults want to study.
|
436 |
-
That survey cost $25,000 and took two years. The last part of the survey was made
|
437 |
-
in Meriden, Connecticut. It had been chosen as a typical American town. Every
|
438 |
-
adult in Meriden was interviewed and requested to answer 156 questions—
|
439 |
-
questions such as “What is your business or profession? Your education? How do
|
440 |
-
you spend your spare time? What is your income? Your hobbies? Your ambitions?
|
441 |
-
Your problems? What subjects are you most interested in studying?” And so on.
|
442 |
-
That survey revealed that health is the prime interest of adults and that their second
|
443 |
-
interest is people; how to understand and get along with people; how to make
|
444 |
-
people like you; and how to win others to your way of thinking.
|
445 |
-
So the committee conducting this survey resolved to conduct such a course for
|
446 |
-
adults in Meriden. They searched diligently for a practical textbook on the subject
|
447 |
-
and found-not one. Finally they approached one of the world’s outstanding
|
448 |
-
authorities on adult education and asked him if he knew of any book that met the
|
449 |
-
needs of this group. “No,” he replied, "I know what those adults want. But the book
|
450 |
-
16
|
451 |
-
|
452 |
-
they need has never been written.”
|
453 |
-
I knew from experience that this statement was true, for I myself had been
|
454 |
-
searching for years to discover a practical, working handbook on human relations.
|
455 |
-
Since no such book existed, I have tried to write one for use in my own courses.
|
456 |
-
And here it is. I hope you like it.
|
457 |
-
In preparation for this book, I read everything that I could find on the subject—
|
458 |
-
everything from newspaper columns, magazine articles, records of the family
|
459 |
-
courts, the writings of the old philosophers and the new psychologists. In addition, I
|
460 |
-
hired a trained researcher to spend one and a half years in various libraries reading
|
461 |
-
everything I had missed, plowing through erudite tomes on psychology, poring over
|
462 |
-
hundreds of magazine articles, searching through countless biographies, trying to
|
463 |
-
ascertain how the great leaders of all ages had dealt with people. We read their
|
464 |
-
biographies, We read the life stories of all great leaders from Julius Caesar to
|
465 |
-
Thomas Edison. I recall that we read over one hundred biographies of Theodore
|
466 |
-
Roosevelt alone. We were determined to spare no time, no expense, to discover
|
467 |
-
every practical idea that anyone had ever used throughout the ages for winning
|
468 |
-
friends and influencing people.
|
469 |
-
I personally interviewed scores of successful people, some of them world-famousinventors like Marconi and Edison; political leaders like Franklin D. Roosevelt and
|
470 |
-
James Farley; business leaders like Owen D. Young; movie stars like Clark Gable
|
471 |
-
and Mary Pickford; and explorers like Martin Johnson—and tried to discover the
|
472 |
-
techniques they used in human relations.
|
473 |
-
From all this material, I prepared a short talk. I called it “How to Win Friends and
|
474 |
-
Influence People.” I say “short.” It was short in the beginning, but it soon expanded
|
475 |
-
to a lecture that consumed one hour and thirty minutes. For years, I gave this talk
|
476 |
-
each season to the adults in the Carnegie Institute courses in New York.
|
477 |
-
I gave the talk and urged the listeners to go out and test it in their business and
|
478 |
-
social contacts, and then come back to class and speak about their experiences and
|
479 |
-
the results they had achieved. What an interesting assignment! These men and
|
480 |
-
women, hungry for self- improvement, were fascinated by the idea of working in a
|
481 |
-
new kind of laboratory - the first and only laboratory of human relationships for
|
482 |
-
adults that had ever existed.
|
483 |
-
This book wasn’t written in the usual sense of the word. It grew as a child grows. It
|
484 |
-
17
|
485 |
-
|
486 |
-
grew and developed out of that laboratory, out of the experiences of thousands of
|
487 |
-
adults.
|
488 |
-
Years ago, we started with a set of rules printed on a card no larger than a postcard.
|
489 |
-
The next season we printed a larger card, then a leaflet, then a series of booklets,
|
490 |
-
each one expanding in size and scope. After fifteen years of experiment and
|
491 |
-
research came this book.
|
492 |
-
The rules we have set down here are not mere theories or guesswork. They work
|
493 |
-
like magic. Incredible as it sounds, I have seen the application of these principles
|
494 |
-
literally revolutionize the lives of many people.
|
495 |
-
To illustrate: A man with 314 employees joined one of these courses. For years, he
|
496 |
-
had driven and criticized and condemned his employees without stint or discretion.
|
497 |
-
Kindness, words of appreciation and encouragement were alien to his lips. After
|
498 |
-
studying the principles discussed in this book, this employer sharply altered his
|
499 |
-
philosophy of life. His organization is now inspired with a new loyalty, a new
|
500 |
-
enthusiasm, a new spirit of teamwork. Three hundred and fourteen enemies have
|
501 |
-
been turned into 314 friends. As he proudly said in a speech before the class:
|
502 |
-
“When I used to walk through my establishment, no one greeted me. My employees
|
503 |
-
actually looked the other way when they saw me approaching. But now they are all
|
504 |
-
my friends and even the janitor calls me by my first name.”
|
505 |
-
This employer gained more profit, more leisure and—what is infinitely more
|
506 |
-
important—he found far more happiness in his business and in his home.
|
507 |
-
Countless numbers of salespeople have sharply increased their sales by the use of
|
508 |
-
these principles. Many have opened up new accounts—accounts that they had
|
509 |
-
formerly solicited in vain. Executives have been given increased authority,
|
510 |
-
increased pay. One executive reported a large increase in salary because he applied
|
511 |
-
these truths. Another, an executive in the Philadelphia Gas Works Company, was
|
512 |
-
slated for demotion when he was sixty-five because of his belligerence, because of
|
513 |
-
his inability to lead people skillfully. This training not only saved him from the
|
514 |
-
demotion but brought him a promotion with increased pay.
|
515 |
-
On innumerable occasions, spouses attending the banquet given at the end of the
|
516 |
-
course have told me that their homes have been much happier since their husbands
|
517 |
-
or wives started this training.
|
518 |
-
18
|
519 |
-
|
520 |
-
People are frequently astonished at the new results they achieve. It all seems like
|
521 |
-
magic. In some cases, in their enthusiasm, they have telephoned me at my home on
|
522 |
-
Sundays because they couldn’t wait forty-eight hours to report their achievements at
|
523 |
-
the regular session of the course.
|
524 |
-
One man was so stirred by a talk on these principles that he sat far into the night
|
525 |
-
discussing them with other members of the class. At three o’clock in the morning,
|
526 |
-
the others went home. But he was so shaken by a realization of his own mistakes, so
|
527 |
-
inspired by the vista o a new and richer world opening before him, that he was
|
528 |
-
unable to sleep. He didn’t sleep that night or the next day or the next night.
|
529 |
-
Who was he? A naive, untrained individual ready to gush over any new theory that
|
530 |
-
came along? No, Far from it. He was a sophisticated, blasé dealer in art, very much
|
531 |
-
the man about town, who spoke three languages fluently and was a graduate of two
|
532 |
-
European universities.
|
533 |
-
While writing this chapter, I received a letter from a German of the old school, an
|
534 |
-
aristocrat whose forebears had served for generations as professional army officers
|
535 |
-
under the Hohenzollerns. His letter, written from a transatlantic steamer, telling
|
536 |
-
about the application of these principles, rose almost to a religious fervor.
|
537 |
-
Another man, an old New Yorker, a Harvard graduate, a wealthy man, the owner of
|
538 |
-
a large carpet factory, declared he had learned more in fourteen weeks through this
|
539 |
-
system of training about the fine art of influencing people than he had learned about
|
540 |
-
the same subject during his four years in college. Absurd? Laughable? Fantastic? Of
|
541 |
-
course, you are privileged to dismiss this statement with whatever adjective you
|
542 |
-
wish. I am merely reporting, without comment, a declaration made by a
|
543 |
-
conservative and eminently successful Harvard graduate in a public address to
|
544 |
-
approximately six hundred people at the Yale Club in New York on the evening of
|
545 |
-
Thursday, February 23, 1933.
|
546 |
-
“Compared to what we ought to be,” said the famous Professor William James of
|
547 |
-
Harvard, “compared to what we ought to be, we are only half awake. We are
|
548 |
-
making use of only a small part of our physical and mental resources. Stating the
|
549 |
-
thing broadly, the human individual thus lives far within his limits. He possesses
|
550 |
-
powers of various sorts which he habitually fails to use,”
|
551 |
-
Those powers which you “habitually fail to use”! The sole purpose of this book is to
|
552 |
-
help you discover, develop and profit by those dormant and unused assets.
|
553 |
-
19
|
554 |
-
|
555 |
-
“Education,” said Dr. John G. Hibben, former president of Princeton University, “is
|
556 |
-
the ability to meet life’s situations.”
|
557 |
-
If by the time you have finished reading the first three chapters of this book—if you
|
558 |
-
aren’t then a little better equipped to meet life’s situations, then I shall consider this
|
559 |
-
book to be a total failure so far as you are concerned. For “the great aim of
|
560 |
-
education,” said Herbert Spencer, “is not knowledge but action.”
|
561 |
-
And this is an action book.
|
562 |
-
DALE CARNEGIE 1936
|
563 |
-
|
564 |
-
20
|
565 |
-
|
566 |
-
Nine Suggestions on How to Get the Most Out of This Book
|
567 |
-
1. If you wish to get the most out of this book, there is one indispensable
|
568 |
-
requirement, one essential infinitely more important than any rule or technique.
|
569 |
-
Unless you have this one fundamental requisite, a thousand rules on how to study
|
570 |
-
will avail little, And if you do have this cardinal endowment, then you can achieve
|
571 |
-
wonders without reading any suggestions for getting the most out of a book.
|
572 |
-
What is this magic requirement? Just this: a deep, driving desire to learn, a vigorous
|
573 |
-
determination to increase your ability to deal with people.
|
574 |
-
How can you develop such an urge? By constantly reminding yourself how
|
575 |
-
important these principles are to you. Picture to yourself how their mastery will aid
|
576 |
-
you in leading a richer, fuller, happier and more fulfilling life. Say to yourself over
|
577 |
-
and over: "My popularity, my happiness and sense of worth depend to no small
|
578 |
-
extent upon my skill in dealing with people.”
|
579 |
-
2. Read each chapter rapidly at first to get a bird's-eye view of it. You will probably
|
580 |
-
be tempted then to rush on to the next one. But don’t—unless you are reading
|
581 |
-
merely for entertainment. But if you are reading because you want to increase your
|
582 |
-
skill in human relations, then go back and reread each chapter thoroughly. In the
|
583 |
-
long run, this will mean saving time and getting results.
|
584 |
-
3. Stop frequently in your reading to think over what you are reading. Ask yourself
|
585 |
-
just how and when you can apply each suggestion.
|
586 |
-
4. Read with a crayon, pencil, pen, magic marker or highlighter in your hand. When
|
587 |
-
you come across a suggestion that you feel you can use, draw a line beside it. If it is
|
588 |
-
a four-star suggestion, then underscore every sentence or highlight it, or mark it
|
589 |
-
with ���****.” Marking and underscoring a book makes it more interesting, and far
|
590 |
-
easier to review rapidly.
|
591 |
-
5. I knew a woman who had been office manager for a large insurance concern for
|
592 |
-
fifteen years. Every month, she read all the insurance contracts her company had
|
593 |
-
issued that month. Yes, she read many of the same contracts over month after
|
594 |
-
month, year after year. Why? Because experience had taught her that that was the
|
595 |
-
only way she could keep their provisions clearly in mind.
|
596 |
-
I once spent almost two years writing a book on public speaking and yet I found I
|
597 |
-
21
|
598 |
-
|
599 |
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