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This happened in March before bars got shut down. It was the night of my staff party. I (25f) had invited my cousin (18f) a month before and she said she will come. Day of she cancelled. So I went with my brother (23) instead. We arrived and were having a good time when she showed up. The event coordinator talked to me about only being allowed one guest. It was embarrassing, but the coordinator let my cousin stay. It was an open bar, and around 11pm my brother and I were a bit tipsy. Our cousin doesnt drink. She informed me she wanted to come home with me and sleep over. My brother and I got into a disagreement. We didnt cause a scene or anything. We went to the lobby. I started crying and said I'm leaving. My cousin knew I was leaving. I went to the sidewalk and called a cab. The lobby was all glass so she could see me waiting at the curb. But she was talking to my brother so I assumed she wanted to stay with him. I got home and fell asleep. The next morning I woke up to angry texts from my sister, my gramma, and my cousins dad accusing me of abandoning my cousin downtown at night. They were mean text messages. She had told them I abandoned her downtown at night. 1. She knew I was leaving and didnt come with me. 2. I waited 15 mins for a cab to come (Friday night) and she never came outside to wait with me. 3. She had money for a cab 4. She was with my brother who lives close to her. 5. There was an underground train station a block away from the bar that would've taken her practically all the way home. Which I understand is dangerous for a young girl at night. See number 3. 6. Her dad is overprotective, and would've 100% picked her up if she asked. 7. If my older sister did this to me when I was 18, none of my family members would care. She ended up sharing a taxi with my brother. Her dad hasnt spoke to me since this happened and my gramma and sister havent forgiven me. AITA? ######

NTA 1. Cousin doesnt drink. 2. Cousin knew I was leaving. 3. She had money for a cab. If she knew you were leaving, she was perfectly capable of coming along if she'd wanted to. She weren't intoxicated, stranded or otherwise helpless. She's not a child. However, your cousin is the AH for 1. Canceling on the day of 2. Showing up anyway (causing OP some embarassment for bringing too many guests) 3. After 1 and 2, apparently expecting OP to take care of her until she was safely back in bed, and stirring up drama when she had to get home on her own. Any particular obligation you may have had for looking after your younger cousin that night disappeared when she canceled your plans. ######

So my bf (35)and I (31) have been together just over a year and live together. We have very different sleep schedules, I work early so I'm used to going to bed at 10pm latest. He likes to stay up and used to start work at 10am compared to my 8am start (I have to wake up at 6 to get there). Due to everything going on atm I'm working, I work for the NHS and he lost his job. Last night I came home from work and I was shattered. I ended up going to bed at 8pm and thought I'd get up at 5.30am to get a shower in. He stayed up late playing poker. Now due to my health conditions and the impact of sleep on them we previously agreed that if he comes up to bed after 1am he should sleep in the spare room or on the sofa or where ever because he disturbs me when he comes to bed. Anyway last night I get woken up at 4am!! He comes in and starts making noise moving the covers and I just got so pissed off. I screamed that he was selfish and what was he doing? Then grabbed my stuff and slept in the spare room. He came in and said 'what does sleeping in another from accomplish?' And I said I could sleep better. Anyway I wake up at 5.30, still pissed off and clang around the kitchen a bit and then went into the bedroom to take my tablets and slammed the door. He sent me a text message on my way to work stating Thanks for purposely waking me up... now I'll only get three hours sleep today I mean.. come on!! He's not doing anything all day, he can sleep as long as he wants!! I was deliberately loud so he could understand where I'm coming from. If I'm tired and don't do my job properly people could get hurt or die if I make a mistake. Not to mention I could get ill again and end up seriously ill. I feel that he's in the wrong and that he's not valuing my health, my job or wellbeing. He thinks I'm out of line cos I woke him up at 7am.. ######

NTA >Thanks for purposely waking me up... now I'll only get three hours sleep today I'm sure he'll manage to laze around fine on 3hrs of sleep. ######

So my girlfriend recently was hooked onto this stupid tiktok trend where the girl gets naked and goes up to their boyfriend while he is gaming to see what he would do. Now she being hooked onto the trend wants me to do the same as some of the guys in the tiktoks where they immediately pause their game and jump onto their girlfriends. I play league of legends and the people who play it know that you cannot pause the game and if you AFK or leave the game you will get penalties for it. She told me either I quit the game or i dont ever touch her again. I told her a very reasonable rule that she thinks its unreasonable with it being, I do not mind spending time with her if she wants it before i start a game for a few hours, but I do mind where she purposely wants me to quit just as I started a match as I do not want to leave in the middle of a game. However I do not mind after the game, I stop playing and spend time with her. She told me she just wants to see me want her and she doesnt care about my game and she finds it very unreasonable. AITA for saying no I wont quit in the middle of my game? ######

NTA >stupid tiktok trend couldnt have said it better myself ######

I am 45F and my Husband 50M has a 16-year-old son. He is a good kid, good grades, respectful, does his chores, etc. Last Summer my son said that he wanted a new computer. To his credit, he got a part-time job and saved up for it, and built a pretty nice gaming PC. We are really proud of him, as he saved for it nearly all summer. My sister and her husband have recently moved in with us. They have a 9-year-old son. My sister has a history of IDK how to put it, being entitled. She thinks her kid can do no wrong and spoils her kid. Well when they came over, my nephew noticed my son's PC. He asked if he can play on it, my son said not now. That was the end of it for a couple of days. Again, my nephew wanted to play on it. I asked my son if he minded sharing, he said he would rather not since its expensive and doesn't want it to break. This has caused a big argument. My sister says its extremely unfair to my nephew because he doesn't have a system to play on, just his iPad, so my son should have to share. I told her it's his PC not mine, he paid for it so it's up to him. She then accused me of being a 'spineless parent'. I said I'm not, but I'm not going to force my son to share his own computer. My nephew ended up having a huge fit, which she then blamed me for his fit, but gave him 3 more hours of iPad time to quiet him down. Its been 4 days and my sister hasn't brought it up directly again, just being passive-aggressive. While on one hand, I don't want to make my kid share, because it's his computer, he saved up for it and I don't feel it would be the right thing to do, to force my kid to share. On the other hand, I do feel kinda bad for my nephew, AITA? ######

NTA >She then accused me of being a 'spineless parent'. No, a spineless parent would have forced their child to bend to your entitled sister's will - and then had to deal with the consequences of her entitled child fucking up your son's gaming PC. I wish my parents had had my back in situations like these. Yes, sharing is important, so is understanding that 🎶you can't always get what you want.🎶 ######

I have two daughters 9F and 7F. My youngest has always been my family’s favourite, especially her fathers favourite because she’s more outgoing and confident, she loves climbing and football. My eldest is more cautious and anxious, she isn’t as confident as her sister but that’s okay and I’m always telling her people learn in their own speed and have different personalities and skills. It’s not a secret that my ex prefers our youngest; she looks like him more, she’s got blonde hair like he does and blue eyes and tans easily whilst our eldest looks like me with her ginger hair and dark eyes, he also claims our youngest has more personality. My eldest has taken to trying to copy her younger sister, my ex believes it’s because she wants her younger sister to look up to her but I think it’s because her younger sister gets more attention. My daughters spent the weekend with their dad and his girlfriend when he texted me saying my eldest is grounded because she wouldn’t stop crying and screaming at her stepmother. This isn’t like my eldest so I asked why? Turns out she called my eldest a baby because she couldn’t do something her sister could do and was crying, if there’s something my eldest hates it’s being called baby, they know this! Well ex’s girlfriend posted saying something like “When your eldest daughter throws a tantrum and you know they get it off their bio mother coddling them 😒😹” I responded saying that she wouldn’t have cried had they not belittled her and put her sister on a peddlestall. My ex texted me calling me an asshole for embarrassing his girlfriend and didn’t pick the kids up this weekend. My mother thinks I should’ve bit my tongue and that I was an AH here too. AITA? ######

NTA >My ex texted me calling me an asshole for embarrassing his girlfriend and didn’t pick the kids up this weekend. That says a lot about him, that he thinks the proper response is to abdicate his responsibilities as a parent for the weekend. ######

I am into gaming and most of my friends are online and on discord. I met some of my now close friends when I was 15 and they were 10(M),12(M),13(M) respectively. Over the years we have grown closer and the 10-12 year olds are brothers and look up to me as a sisterly figure . but the problem is that I'm 18 Now and some people notably my acquaintances call me creepy for being friends with 15 and 13 year olds. They are quick to point out that if I was a male and they were girls I'd receive so much back lash yet I'm lucky I don't. they say I shouldn't talk to them. I just don't want to leave them hanging now or else I'd stop talking because it does not look right. AITA? ######

NTA >look up to me as a sisterly figure This seems fine, even if it's a little out of the ordinary (I wouldn't call it weird). Just don't date any of them and you're good to go haha Edit: would be N A H if your friends backed off ######

So since I’ve been working from home I have meetings 2 days a week. But even during the days I don’t I still dress decently and wear a little makeup because it makes me feel good, and also my boyfriend compliments me a lot when I dress well, and say what you will but it’s nice. But our roommate yesterday asked why I have to dress up so much in the house because it’s oppressive and weird. I explained why and she said it was egotistical to fish for compliments by dressing well, and that dressing so well makes her feel out of place. For reference I was just wearing a casual dress and a little bit of makeup, it wasn’t like I was dressed for a wedding. But she wants me to dress down when I don’t have meetings, like sweat pants and a t shirt everyday. AITA? ######

NTA >it’s oppressive wtf?? It's not oppressive for you to dress however you want lmao... Like, who would that be oppressing? And it's not "fishing" for compliments to dress nice... Fishing for compliments is more like if you were to walk around all day going "oh I'm so ugly" so that people have to say "noooo you're beautiful." What you're doing is not like that. ######

On mobile, please excuse my formatting. I live with my mom, my stepdad, and my two siblings. I don't know much about my actual father, but what I do know is that he passed away from a heart attack when I was 2, and he wasn't a great parent. My siblings and I still have his last name (let's say Miles), while my mom has my stepdad's name (let's say Brown). I've come to really like my last name. It's rather unusual, yet it pairs nicely with the rest of my name, and I've gotten several compliments on it. I feel it's part of my identity, and I would hate to change it. My family, on the other hand, wants me to change it to Brown when I turn 18. Both of my siblings have already agreed to do this, and are encouraging me to do the same. My parents say that it would be better to share a last name with the rest of the house, because it brings us closer and there could be complications if I don't. My mom specifically states that I need to share a name with those I love, instead of someone I have no connection with (my actual father). I know that last names show familial connections, but I don't want to change my last name because I feel it makes me unique, regardless of whom it came from. I don't mind if I have a different last name than the rest of my family. AITA for not wanting to change it, against my family's desires? ######

NTA >it brings us closer and there could be complications if I don't. What complications is she expecting? It's not like she'll have problems picking you up from school once you're of legal age. And how does it bring you closer? Are emotions conditional on a name? And what if you want to change your last name when you get married, does she want you to go through the legal process twice? It's nobody's decision but yours. ######

Been hooking up on and off with a girl for a year. Nothing serious. Once in a while discussed our feelings on kids (just conversing) she wanted them someday, I never wanted them. All good. No feelings involved. Was using protection initially and then she got on BC and started asking me to finish inside her. I said okay (dumb). Some months after that we stop fooling around. Months later I get a message from her, she’s 6 months pregnant, wants to know what part I want in it. I say I’ll provide child support, and we can figure out co-parenting. She says if I want to get a DNA test that it’s fine, I say okay. What I don’t tell her is my sperm count is severely low and I’m practically infertile, but pregnant is pregnant and she says she didn’t sleep with anyone else. Fast forward to last week, she asks if I’ll be signing the birth certificate. I say we will do the DNA test and then yes I will sign. She flips out. Says if I want a DNA test then it means I think it’s not mine or I’m hoping it’s not mine, that it means I never wanted a baby (which she knows), and that instead of doing a DNA test we can just not do one and that way I can believe what I want and I won’t have to feel bad for not supporting the baby, which is “definitely mine”. AITA for wanting a paternity test for a casual hookup, especially when I am almost infertile? ######

NTA >if I want a DNA test then it means I think it’s not mine or I’m hoping it’s not mine, that it means I never wanted a baby I mean... duh? Those are not the biting criticisms she thinks they are. ######

(On mobile) (TL;DR at bottom) So due to the pandemic, I am working a lot less. Just a dozen hours or so a week online. My fiancee kept most of her hours as her work switched completely to online. Her work involves a lot of phone calls and meetings where she wants everything to be quiet. Completely reasonable. Because of this, I'll be playing games or watching videos on my computer and use my gaming headset, which is pretty good at blocking out sound. I may hear her talking a bit, but I can't make out any of the words. Lately, she has been getting upset with me because she would finish a phone call and start talking to me about something, but because I wasn't paying attention, I don't always notice her switch from talking on a work call to talking to me. I'm listening to something or watching something. It's only when she says my name slightly louder (and sometimes multiple times if I'm focused on what I'm watching or doing) that I notice she is talking to me, and take off my headset. This has been annoying her because she would then have to repeat what she was just said, which to be fair is one of her pet peeves (repeating herself). She says it's rude of me to not listen when she is trying to talk to me, which is fair, but I don't think I should be forced to sit and wait in case she wants to tell me something or ask me something. Am I just being selfish? She has been the one having to work more, so I know she is stressed out. AITA? TL;DR: Fiancee doesn't like me using my gaming headset because I can't hear when she is doing a work call or when she is taking to me, and I want to use my headset so I don't need to listen to her meetings and can watch videos or play games with sound. ######

NTA >I don't think I should be forced to sit and wait in case she wants to tell me something or ask me something. Exactly this. Other people's conversations are boring, especially their work ones. She shouldn't expect you to just wait around till she's ready. ######

So, my fiancee tore a bunch of pages out of my sketchbook when I let her use it when we played DnD. These were pages she didn't use, and many had drawings on them. I didn't notice she did this until I was given the sketchbook back, and then we had this conversation: Me: hey, can you be sure to not take any pages out of this next time? Especially if I've drawn on it. Her: ok?? But you let me use it for dnd Me: yeah, but I didn't say you could rip out a bunch of pages. Her: but you said I could have it for dnd. Me: I never said you could have it, I just told you you could use some of the pages when we play dnd. I even said we should go to walgreens to get more Her: you shouldn't even be mad about this Me: its not okay to tell me how to feel Her: yeah, it is. Me: no, thats bordering on emotional abuse. Her: you're being irrationally angry about this, you need to be told how to feel Me: you started making excuses and then started telling me how to feel, of course Im angry Her: im not making excuses, you clearly dont know what that word means It doesn't get any better from there, and ends with her yelling at me that Im always wrong and don't want to admit it. I don't know how to feel or if thats true, so I'm asking you all. Am I the asshole? ######

NTA >Her: you're being irrationally angry about this, you need to be told how to feel This doesn't sound real though.. This sounds like a caricature of unhealthy age gap relationships. Anyways if it's real then obviously NTA and she's seriously toxic. ######

I have recently banned my son from having his male friends over, and he is pretty upset with his mom and I. Probably sounds like a dick parent move but hear me out on why I did it. I have a 14 year old daughter, and it’s been a hassle chasing the boys away. She’s a very beautiful girl (all thanks to her mom) and has been attracting a lot of attention from perverted men, our sons friends being some of them. It is disgusting to see how they act around her and treat her. Yesterday was the last straw though. She was sitting on the couch and his friend came downstairs and sat by her because he thought she was the only one awake and started asking her if she was “really only 14”. He asked several times and kept telling her she “didn’t look 14” before I walked out of the kitchen and said “yes, she is 14. now leave her be”. I called Brennan (my son) down and told him he needed to have his friend leave. When he left my wife and I discussed it and decided it’s best if he doesn’t bring his friends over anymore because this happens all the time. His friends endlessly flirt with her and refuse to leave her alone. We had to get a lock on her door that couldn’t be tampered with from the outside because we were worried about what might happen. He says it’s unfair, that it’s not his fault and we’re being harsh. Claims that he’s 18 and can do what he wants and is going to “move out” because he’s “tired of this shit”. Is it unfair? AITA? ######

NTA >Claims that he’s 18 and can do what he wants and is going to “move out” because he’s “tired of this shit”. Well, I'd call his bluff. He can't rely on family for food/housing and then turn around and demand that his gross friends be allowed to harass and disturb said family. One or the other. And good for you, for speaking up for your daughter. ######

So, me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 5 1/2 months, and I quit martial arts because I got bored around the time we started dating, but I want to get back into it after quarantine is over. Its been an ongoing issue with us for the last couple of months because its "dangerous" and I've gotten hurt a couple times before. He says he feels like when I didn't do a sport like him it was a similarity between us and that similarity will go away if I start martial arts again. But, my mom already signed up for my classes to start again after quarantine. To quit again would be a hassle to convince my mom, and I also love martial arts because it helps me release anger and makes me confident in myself. I told him that it was unfair of him to ask that of me, because I've been doing martial arts for years. I also brought up to him that he's making me bend over backwards for him even though he always asks me not to do that for people. I gave him my reasons I wasn't going to quit, and then he went off about how he should leave since he's a "horrible boyfriend" and makes me not do the things I like. Even though he has flaws, I know he isn't a horrible boyfriend. I tried to convince him that he isn't a horrible boyfriend and told him that I wouldn't still be fighting to be his girlfriend if he was horrible. I then just asked for us to make a decision about the break up once we both have a clear mind to think reasonably which I guess he complied with. I don't know if i'm the asshole here or him. AiTA? also sorry for the bad formatting, I have no clue how to format. ######

NTA >...he went off about how he should leave since he's a "horrible boyfriend" and makes me not do the things I like So in addition to letting whatever insecurity he has allow him to try and control how you spend your time, he also immediately plays the victim whenever he is called out, forcing *you* to apologize to *him*? He is a horrible boyfriend. ######

My husband and I have a 5 month old daughter. He is only just getting comfortable enough to change her wee diapers without me supervising/helping now, and when he was changing her last night he saw she had pooped and called me in to change her because 'I've done it before but this one is bad'. It wasn't bad, two wipes and she was clean. Just smelled a bit worse than usual since she started teething. Tonight he was holding her after work and she started to poop. As soon as she was done he handed her to me. I sighed and said "another shitty diaper to change" while walking to the change table. He snapped back with 'I don't say that every time I have to pay the rent, or bills'. Granted, he does pay the rent. I pay half, if not all of the utility bills depending on my income (I'm mostly a stay at home mom, but also have a house cleaner gig once or twice a month). It upsets me that he doesn't do what I see as his fair share of parenting. Yeah, changing diapers is gross. No one WANTS to do it. I should know, she has been pooping twice as much since she started teething. He doesn't see her much with him working 5 days a week, but surely it's not too much to ask that I don't have to change every poop she does? When I tried to bring it up with him, he said I attacked him with my shitty diaper comment and again brought up how he pays the rent without complaining. He wants another child. I don't want to have another if I am going to be stuck wiping another ass for however many years. I feel it's assholeish to compare paying rent to providing basic care for your child, but am I wrong? AITA? ######

NTA > It upsets me that he doesn't do what I see as his fair share of parenting. Yeah, changing diapers is gross. No one WANTS to do it... He doesn't see her much with him working 5 days a week, but surely it's not too much to ask that I don't have to change every poop she does? This right here. Just because he works full time 5 days a week (even if he is really put upon and they are 12 hour days) a 40-60 hour work week for him should not equal a 168 hour work week for you taking care of the baby. And that is the point of being a SAHM, to do the work that you'd otherwise be paying a nursery for. It should be treated (and respected) like a job, just like his. During work hours you are 100% on baby duty. But outside of work hours you both should be sharing parenting duties. > he said I attacked him with my shitty diaper comment and **again** brought up how he pays the rent without complaining. If he keeps bringing up that he pays the rent, it sure *sounds* like he is complaining. ######

So this is my first time in this position and I have no idea if I’ve made a huge mistake and put my foot in my mouth right now. My (23f) partner (21m) and I are looking at moving in together. My flat lease is coming up and we’re looking at somewhere a little bigger (I’m in a 2 bed but the 2nd bedroom is fairly small). He’s only rented student places and is from a very different area so I guess he was naive about prices. He has a job lined up for September but won’t be making a huge amount. It’s a great position but pay will be low in his career. I however have a very well paid position. I’m two years older and further in my career and happen to work in a well paying field. When looking at rents he can’t really afford much. So I suggested we look at splitting is as per salary sacrifice. So instead of 50/50 look at how much of a pay sacrifice it would take per percentage (eg my current place only costs 30% of my wages. So add say 30% of his and use that as a rent). This would enable us to afford some of the places we’ve looked at and I’d still be paying the same as I am here. He got super offended and has now stated he’s questioning being with me overall. He said me suggesting I pay more was belittling. He doesn’t seem to think how I said it was the problem which was my though (checked I hadn’t come across sarky/annoyed) but he genuinely has a problem with my suggestion at a base level. So reddit, was I an asshole to suggest I pay more because I earn more? Thanks in advance. ######

NTA > I suggested we look at splitting is as per salary sacrifice. So instead of 50/50 look at how much of a pay sacrifice it would take per percentage I started reading this expecting you to be suggesting the exact opposite, and putting an unmanageable burden on him. What you're proposing is fair and considerate. > He got super offended and has now stated he’s questioning being with me overall. He said me suggesting I pay more was belittling. The problem here isn't you, it is his ego. I know he is only a couple of years younger than you, but he seems very immature. I'd be questioning moving in with *him*, maybe not forever but maybe until he has had time to mature and get used to living and supporting himself in "the real world". ######

I'm at the Outer Banks on vacation with my large extended family (mom's side, about 20 people) and I am using a prescription face medication that causes my face to be dry. If I go in the ocean, my face will get very painful and I will have a burning sensation for a few hours. However, for the past few days, my family has been insisting that I go in the ocean and that I'm not enjoying the vacation. My mom is threatening to take away my computer if I don't. So, I said that I saw a jellyfish, and they all cleared out. No one else was affected, they didn't tell anyone. AITA? ######

NTA ​ Regardless of your face and its problems, if you don't want to go in the ocean, you shouldn't be forced to go. I have many reasons for not wanting to go into the ocean. They are my reasons. You have your reason. They need to get over their own issues with you not going in and leave you alone. ​ People enjoy different things. It is perfectly possible to go on vacation to the ocean and never even put on a bathing suit and still immensely enjoy yourself. I speak from experience. I enjoy sitting on the beach on a blanket under an umbrella and reading books and people watching. Going in the ocean and sunburned through my SPF100, getting saltwater in my hair and sand in my bathing suit crotch gusset is not enjoyable to me. ######

So background my parents split due to him having an affair when I was 8, now almost 28. We moved to east coast, dad stayed on west. My siblings and I never really had a relationship with him growing up, now we talk once every couple months. My brother had a baby last February and my dad and his wife came to visit in November. He stated he wanted to move here and build a relationship with us and his grandchildren. I was really excited as I don't have much family and I've always wanted our relationship mended. The plan was for him to move out alone and stay with my brother for 3 weeks while he got an apartment set up and then bring his family out. Well he called and stated he wants to bring his wife and step son with him from the get go and then he'd look for a job and place. My brother told him no he isn't okay with that because he has a kid and that'll be too stressful and too many people in his house. Well he told me last night that since I was so excited and wanted him here, my husband and I have to let them live with us. We're pregnant with our first and due in July. I said no way in hell was I moving 3 people in when I'm about to have a newborn. How is that fair? I was told I'm being unreasonable and my dad feels hurt that no one will take them in. If we weren't pregnant, I wouldn't have an issue with them temporarily staying. Aita for not letting them live with me thus preventing them from moving here right now? ######

NTA Your dad cant just up and decide he's staying in your house with his family for 3 weeks. I wouldn't be cool with adding 3 people to my house normally, let alone while I'm pregnant. ######

First time post so be nice please! And obligatory on mobile. So my(16f) mother(44f) has never been ideal with finances or keeping living spaces. This has happened throughout all my childhood but the financial aspect was worsened when she married her husband 5 years ago(29m). He's a generally unsocialable unpleasant man and has issues keeping jobs. He got into drywall about 4 years ago and has maintained that line of work but is constantly burning bridges and his work isn't very consistent. My mother either works with him or watches my 3 year old brother because his former babysitter has fallen ill recently. Recently he hasn't been getting much work and only went back to work last week. Basically they drain money. Their money goes to paying his brother for working for them, gas, groceries, and God knows what else it just doesn't stay in their account. We were formerly living in a hotel which was expensive so I was more lenient but we are now living rent free at my grandparents house. I've been working about a year, and make between 400-500 a paycheck though I was laid off once lockdown hit but went back in May. Last month my mother and her husband borrowed 400(from my savings) to renew the title and registration to their car. Since then they've continued to borrow bits of money probably its up to about 500 now. The thing that has made me irritated and question is they were supposed to get some money today because her husband sold some stock but still had me buy meat for dinner instead of him. I'm now considering telling her I won't lend her anymore money unless it concerns my brother or gas. It may be important to note she owes my older brother(25m) 2 grand. I don't want to be ungrateful or put them in a bad spot but I want to go to college in a year and they can't afford to pay for it. I honestly need the money for my future. Sorry everyone there's probably more detail than necessary I just want to be thorough! So WIBTA? ######

NTA You need to empty that account before you tell her you're not loaning her any more money though. If possible, open another account in just your name WITHOUT either parent on it. If that's not possible, consider storing it with a trusted family member. It happens all the time where a parent steals a bunch of money from their teenage children because the parent is also listed on the bank account. ######

I ordered some food from UberEats and receive a message stating that it should be delivered in no later than 30 minutes. Sounds good. I leave a note stating that I would prefer to have the food left in front of my door. I live in an apartment complex, and not all couriers are familiar with the layout, so I include instructions detailing how to find my building and unit. 30 minutes go by and I receive a message stating that my food was delivered. I check outside my door and notice that it isn't there. I investigate further and eventually find out that it was left on the front porch of the leasing office, which was closed and unoccupied at the time. I ended up having to drive a few minutes out in the rain to obtain my food, which could have easily been stolen by an animal or other person within that timeframe. Given that I left specific instructions detailing how to find my apartment and there were no attempts by the courier to contact me and confirm that they left the food in the right location, I got frustrated with his failure to pay attention to detail and follow instructions and decided to leave the courier a 1-star review and no tip. In my mind, tips should only be awarded for good or better service and no one is entitled to them. AITA here? ######

NTA What's the point of ordering delivery if you have to go out and get in your car to pick it up anyway? ######

To give some backstory, I was adopted when I was 10 into a single parent household. I was raised primarily by my mom with the help of my grandpa who lives with us. I am now 21 and have always identified as being raised by a single mother. My mom has been dating her bf for close to 5 years now and I am very happy for her. Last year, my mom and I got into an argument because she wanted me to get him a gift for fathers day. I openly opposed since I do not consider him to be my father, nor do I have a close relationship with him. I think he is an amazing person who is good to my mom, but he never helped raised or discipline me. I have barely even spoken to him alone nor have I had a deep conversation with him. In fact I tend to get hyperaware when I do interact with him one on one since I storta want his approval. Although it would be nice to have a deeper relationship, we currently do not have one. I am getting stressed since fathers day is coming up in a month and I know my mom is gonna want me to get him a gift since she has already started to mention it. Last year my mom got angry at me when I just got him a funny/cute card and she tore it up bc she thought I did not take it seriously enough. My grandpa said it would be considerate of me to get him something and I am confused as to why? My mom said that he has always wanted a child but I am honestly confused as to why she feels so strongly about this. In my opinion, I do not consider him to be any sort of father figure. I feel like I should just such it up and get him something, but I just feel like they are not taking my feelings into consideration. Tbh if I should be getting anyone a father's day gift, it should be my grandpa since I actually consider to be a sort of father figure in my life. ######

NTA Not only is he not YOUR father, he is also not an actual father. Just because he dates a woman who has a son/daughter, doesn't automatically make him someone's father. ######

(Unrelated to my last post if you’re looking for another update you’re SOL) So my vet said since I loved them so much I should give them a rate and review on google. So I did.. And I was honest.. 4/5 stars, great tech, doctor was nice blah blah, but the manager was a total dick on the phone and in person. This is not word for word obviously And I stand by it, the manager was a dick he has ZERO people skills, acted like talking to me was a chore, and his tone just had this overwhelming “i am better than you” to it. Made all the worse from the timing (my rabbits died) I think I’m allowed to call and ask questions without feeling like a chore to some pompous manager. I got an email asking to edit out the specifics of the review.. Why ask me to review you if you don’t want me to be honest though? Maybe take what I said and use it to improve your business? Give your manager some classes on how to talk to clients maybe IDK? AITA? ######

NTA I am a believer in changing reviews like this to state that you were asked to update the review and lower the rating at the same time. ######

So I’m 17 (turning 18 in May) and my sister is 16. There’s been a thing in my family where they pass down a cute little ring to the oldest daughter in the family when they turn 18, so I’m about to get it from my mom soon. My little sister has taken a strong liking towards the ring (she has seen it a couple of times) and so for the past few months, she’s been in a bad mood and basically throwing tantrums over how she can’t get the ring because she’s not the oldest. For example, she has talked to my mom numerous times about how it’s unfair that the daughter who wants the ring the most can’t get it if she’s not the oldest, how her high grades should justify her getting it, and other excuses like that. She has also came to me plenty of times trying to convince me to give the ring to her instead because she really wants it, even though I’ve said no. She has brought it up so many times that my parents told her that they’d buy her a necklace (which has a similar color and shimmer to the ring), but she still wasn’t having it. Last night at dinner, she started complaining about the ring again. I really lost my cool and said “shut the fuck up, nobody cares about how much you want the ring. It’s mine and you’ll never get it so you need to live with that”. I also told her that the way she was acting was sad and I wasn’t even sure that the necklace she was going to get would fix her childish-ness. It was kind of awkward and my parents berated me for my language, but was I in the wrong? ######

NTA Everyone has a breaking point. From what you said this was going on for months. She was told multiple times that she wasn't getting the ring and she needed to accept that and drop it. A person can only repeat themselves so many times before it can be too much. Could you have worded that better? Sure, if you hadn't been pushed to snapping. It's entirely unfair IMHO to push someone that far and then be mad at them for finally breaking under the onslaught. I don't expect most people to have the patience of a saint let alone a 17yo. Your sister is TA for not dropping it and constantly bombarding you with her whining and negativity. ######

I’ve had my cat Morwen (bonus points if u know where her name is from) for about 6 years and have been dating my boyfriend for a year. Recently we’ve been talking about moving in together, since his lease is up in May and we’ve been together a while, but if we moved into my apartment he would be moving an hour away and transferring locations for work. When we got together I told him I had a cat, and he said he didn’t like cats but since then whenever he’s over he pets her and will even bring her toys and treats and he cuddles her and calls her into sleep with us when he sleeps over. I assumed he liked her and we never discussed her leaving. A few days ago while talking about him moving in he asked what I was gonna do with Morwen and I asked him what he meant and he said “Well if I’m moving in we’re not having a cat. I told you I don’t like them.” I told him I wasn’t rehoming Morwen and he said “If you want to move in with you we all have to make sacrifices. I’m transferring jobs and moving an hour away.” I told him I wasn’t willing to rehome my cat and it wasnt up for discussion and he essentially told me then we weren’t moving in together and that he couldn’t believe I would choose a cat over him and hung up. My roommates boyfriend offered to take her for me but I’m just not willing to give up my cat that I had long before I started dating him. AITA for choosing my cat over my boyfriend? Edit: cat tax https://imgur.com/gallery/qzlDmzi Edit #2: Morwen is a character in Skyrim. Edit #3: https://imgur.com/gallery/H2LiKZl -chirpy meows ######

NTA Do not rehome your cat because your boyfriend tells you to. If he's trying to control you by making you choose between him and the cat, it will only get worse. He's manipulating you. ######

So, I have a five year old boy and my family has been pushing me to get pregnant again. Telling me it is time or else my son will grow up to be self centred and alone. That is the last thing on my mind. I have been unhappy in my marriage for years now and getting a divorce is more likely to be happening. No one in the family knows the state of my relationship and when they ask the husband, he says yes, he wants another. People thinks I'm being pure selfish. ######

NTA Being an only child doesn't automatically mean you're going to be self-centered. And he wont be alone because he has you. How you parent has a greater impact than whether or not you have siblings. It's very responsible of you to not being another child into an unhappy household. Also, it's no one's business but yours and your spouses whether or not you have another child. ######

Hi! A very close friend (called Anne) of mine has a beautiful cat, and that cat recently became the mom of 4 beautiful kittens. It was clear all along that Anne would keep 2 kittens, our other very close friend Isabelle would buy one kitten, and I would buy one as well. The kittens seem to like us as well, which was very touching. But now that they are several weeks old, Anne wants to name them because they are her kittens, and she wants all the names to be chosen by her or to start with a C because they are from one litter. Isabelle and I dont like the names at all and we can't find a single name starting with C, even after thinking a long time and looking on the internet for inspiration. The three of us talked today, but Anne wouldn't budge, so we have to basically live with the crappy names she chose for our future kittens or try to find sth starting with a C that fits and that we dont hate completely. She says the breeder chooses the names, and if we cant be with the kittens 3x a week while they are with their mom so they grow accustomed to their names, she wont use our names but will call them whatever she wants. Her argument is that you don't need to like the name to love an animal, which I agree with, but if it's mine and I have known them since the day they were born, can't i choose one? AITA for wanting to choose a name I'll love for the cat I'll buy and spend the next 20 years with? Tldr: My friend sells 2 kittens, but she named them sth I hate and doesn't let me choose my own name for my future cat I already agreed to buy months ago. ######

NTA Also ..... just rename the kitten after you bring it home. It is not confusing to animals to be renamed. They don't understand the concept of names. They just associate a specific sound you make at them with certain behaviors just like when you teach animals new tricks. Just say the new name and give treats when they respond. Kitten will learn that when you make the new name sound you are talking to it. Also it is kitten season and there are about a million adoptable kittens. If you don't want to deal with your weird friend and her issues just adopt a different kitten. Edit: My sweet cat had 2 names before she got to me. I gave her a new name. It took her about 3 times to demonstrate she could associate the new name to herself. She absolutely knows when I say "Bianca" that I am talking to her. She can be looking out the window and I can say her name and she responds to it. If I say other random words she does not respond. ######

So last month I bought a condo in DC. As I was a nervous first time buyer, I went wayyy overboard in due diligence, reading every document through and through. I move in and I’m happy, but two of my window’s screw cranks for opening up are broken. Now the condo documents clearly state that windows and the main door are the responsibility of the building, not the owner. So I go down to the front desk and the manager gives me a price sheet and says it’ll be about $150/window. When I mention that the documents say the building is responsible, he says to email the association president with the reference and see what happens. After that, I go on the message board and see many previous posts of owners and sublettors who must’ve not been aware of the rules and payed out of pocket. I now wonder if I’d be an asshole for digging out the legalese after so many people just payed out of pocket, but I also have to think that if the situation were flipped, I wouldn’t get much of a break from them. WIBTA for not playing along? ######

NTA \> I go on the message board and see many previous posts of owners and sublettors who must’ve not been aware of the rules and payed out of pocket. I now wonder if I’d be an asshole for digging out the legalese after so many people just payed out of pocket, Just play dumb and pretend you don't know other people pay out of pocket. And if they try to tell you to, just be like "But why should I, it says right here in black and white that this is your responsibility. They are not paying. You are paying with your HOA fee, If you pay out of pocket you are paying twice. ######

For the sake of the story I’ll call my friend Kate So I’ve been friends with Kate ever since we were 11, we’re both 20 now and both women. Kate came out as bisexual when we were 16 and obviously I was supportive of her. It wasn’t until I was 18 that I started to question my own sexuality and decided that I was in fact bisexual. Since then I haven’t told anyone about it mainly because I just wanted to keep it to myself and just really wasn’t comfortable with telling people yet That was until last week I decided to bite the bullet and tell Kate about it over text At first she was supportive telling me how happy she was for me until she started asking me if I was 100% sure and not just confused I told her that I’m positive that I am and have known about it for years. She then tells me that she just has a hard time believing it because she hasn’t seen me take an interest in girls (I definitely have and like I said, I kept it to myself) or talked about girls when I’ve talked about boys. I told her that I just didn’t feel comfortable coming out and that I am attracted to girls and I just haven’t found the courage yet to ask out a girl Long story short, we went back and forth a couple of times until she eventually told me that she feels like I’m “copying” her and just told her I was bisexual to sound cooler than I actually am (?) and that how she doesn’t appreciate me trying to steal her sexuality. I eventually told her that I’m done with the conversation and that I’m going to bed and I haven’t spoke to her since. I very much regret coming out to her and I still know that I’m bisexual but I can’t help but feel guilty and like a attention-seeking asshole ######

NTA "Trying to steal her sexuality." Lol, what? It's not like she owns bisexuality. She doesn't get to put a copyright on a sexuality. If she's so sensitive and threatened by someone else coming out as bisexual, she has some problems. ######

My siblings and I all have different fathers. One is older than me by 4 years and the other is an infant. I am 20. My maternal grandmother whom I have never met according to the attorneys felt bad about the way my dad denied me b/c I was a product of an extramarital affair. My fiance who comes from a heap load of money told me not to tell anyone that I have money. I didn't listen I told a friend who told my brother and now he thinks he should have some. I told him no b/c what makes him think he deserves it we are no close never have been and have been estranged for the last 3 years not having spoken maybe once or twice and the last time I saw him he called me a whore b/c my fiance much comes from a well to do family. Now my mom is saying I owe her for raising me. I told them both to kiss-off. My mother b/c she wouldn't even buy me things like a winter coat in h.s. (I wore the same ill-fitting one from middle school while she and my brother (the GC) had all the latest everything)til I could get a job and buy my own. I told my brother he has no claim to the money b/c we don't even have the same father. He says he thinks it's only fair that I share, I told him if the shoe were on the other foot he would not share. He said so what, that the amount I got could go around a few times over. I said my grandmother gave it to me, and I'm saving it for myself and my future children. My fiance and his family say I'm doing the right thing, AITA? ######

NTA "This is what grandma decided and I am going to respect her wishes." Going forward, don't let them get under your skin. No reason to respond back with obscenities or anger. ######

My fiancée ran her old car into the ground. Literally every part was failing in some way. In order to make it fully functional would cost nearly as much as a new car. However she can’t afford a new car, and it seems silly to buy another used car to run into the ground. So I bought her a new car. It’s not like I bought her a Maserati, it’s a Honda Civic. Plus, she’s pregnant and will be the primary care taker since she can work from home, so she needs a safe and functional car to drive. Can’t have her driving our kid around in a junker. We also plan to combine finances when we get married. We’ve been dating for 6 years, so it’s not like I’m worried she’s going to run off with the car. I paid for the car myself, I don’t get any money from my family other than some inheritance from my grandparents. But yet my family had a fit when they found out, saying it’s a terrible decision and I shouldn’t have done that until I’m married. I told them it was fine but they still keep bothering me about it, saying I should have talked to them first and they would have told me it was a bad idea. I don’t see why I should have talked to them, I don’t talk to them about any other financial decisions. AITA? ######

NTA "saying I should have talked to them first" The heck? Your money, your decision what to spend it on. You spend it on safe transport for your unborn. Congrats on the pregnancy. ######

Hello all. I'm on mobile, so sorry for any formatting errors on my part. Me (30M) and my girlfriend (28F) have been together for 3 years and we have a baby girl that will soon be turning 2 this summer. My girlfriend wants to get our baby baptized and I am fully on board with this. I am an atheist now but I grew up Catholic. At first I was on the fence about baptizing our baby but after some thought I said I was totally fine with it. So my girlfriend starting looking into churches to get this done at (before the lockdown). She told me about a few places but we would have to join the church our baby gets baptized at. I'm not ok with joining a church. Some background: As before, I grew up Catholic but no longer a believer. As a child, I was not treated well in the church. I won't go into details but my girlfriend knows about my experiences and is insisting that I join the church with her to get our baby baptized. I told her I'm happy to support our baby getting baptized at the church but I do not want to join one or attend one, except for the baptizing ceremony. I said if she wants to go to church, she is free to do so as it's not my right to stop her. I said my experiences really left a sour taste in my mouth and I don't want to go back to the source of a childhood trauma. My girlfriend said I'm being selfish and I'm not thinking of our baby. We haven't spoken about this since the lockdown started. I'm starting to wonder if I'm out of line here and if I'm being a jerk. So reddit, AITA? ######

NTA "My girlfriend said I'm being selfish and not thinking of our baby" Uhmmm does she not realize the hypocrisy of this statement? Who was the one that wanted to baptize their baby for their belief? (I'm not taking a dig at religion, if she wants to baptize that's cool, but she shouldn't make it seem like this is something the baby wants) ######

So yesterday, after years of wanting to get one, I (22F) got a septum piercing. My boyfriend (21M) was okay with me getting it. But when I got home he said it doesn't look good on me. I said that's fine, but I like it and I'm keeping it. He acted distant most of the night after that so I asked him what's wrong. He said he doesn't like seeing me with this piercing. I said literally everyone else likes it (friends and family) and most importantly, I like it. He then started insisting that I should take it out because he doesn't like it at all. I said I paid for it, I like it and I'm not going to do that just because he doesn't like it. We started arguing. He said he would do that for me and I said I would never ask him to. Then he said that I don't respect him nor our relationship and if he was so important to me I would take it out etc. I told him he was acting crazy, it's just a piece of jewerly and it shouldn't matter this much. He basically got up and went to his parents' house and spent the night there. I think I'm the one who's in the right here and my friends agree but my boyfriend won't stop. So am I the AITA? ######

NTA "he said that I don't respect him nor our relationship and if he was so important to me I would take it out etc." You could turn that argument exactly around and say he would not ask you to take it out if he did those things. ######

Me and my wife split 11 years ago when our daughter was 5-6 months old, we split cause she cheated on me and went to marry the guy she cheated on me with. I remarried 3 years later and had my son (who is now 9). The way custody works is that I get her for 1 week a month, christmas, thanksgiving and easter while my wife gets her during the summer. My ex's husband had 3 kids of his own, 1 of them her birthday falls on the day right after my daughter's and she told me when she's at her mom's house they share a birthday. me, my wife and son are currently out of state and helping out my in-laws cause they are old and need help now of days. I already mailed my gift and told my ex to give it to her on her birthday, she's always wanted air pods so I got her a pair. I had a bag and stuffing in the box and asked my ex if she could set it up for her My ex texted me yesterday saying what I got my daughter is nowhere near what the other kid is getting and asked me to either chip in to get her something or wait. I told my ex that I won't and that my daughter has wanted this for awhile, she told me that it is unfair that my daughter gets a better present than her sister. I tried to compromise and said she can name the present in both our names (mine and ex) and get her daughter something a little bigger or more "equal" if she likes but I'm not going to just not give her the gift cause I probably won't see her for another month or so. My ex is saying I'm being unreasonable AITA? ######

NTA "Fairness" is not the same as equality. You sent a caring gift to your daughter, and your daughter should get it. She and her step sibling are old enough to understand that there is not that much equality in the world. The step sibling may get presents from her mother's side that your daughter doesn't get. You are being very reasonable. ######

My wife and I had a private gym in our house with a bunch of different type of gym equipment. Back in November a gym opened up a block from our house, so we each got gym memberships and decided to get rid of our personal gym equipment so we could use the room for something else. I tried selling it all, but couldn’t get anyone to buy the elliptical, the bowflex, weight set, and our various smaller gym equipment. I offered them to friends and family for free and my sister said she would be interested. But she didn’t have space for them at the time and said she and her husband would make room for them and pick them up. I called her three times in December about them after that she always said she still hasn’t gotten around to making room for them. After that I stopped calling her about them because it didn’t seem like she really wanted them and they had just been sitting forgotten in a corner of the garage since. Until a month ago when our gym closed. My wife and I decided to pull them out of the garage to use them again. They’ve really helped us from getting stir crazy. My sister called on Tuesday to ask if her husband and son could come pick them up that day. I told her how my wife and I are actually using them now that our gym is closed so we wouldn’t be giving them away anymore. She asks if I’m kidding because they just spent all yesterday clearing out space for them. When I say I’m not. My sister sort of raises her voice and says how I said she could have that equipment and that it was hers. How her gym is closed and they all don’t have anyway to exercise. Then she brings up how my nephew needs it because he needs to stay in shape for school (he’s on an athletic scholarship). I get a call from dad later saying and he agrees with my sister and says considering my nephew they really need the equipment more than we do. ######

NTA *She* dragged her ass. There are other exercises your nephew could be doing. Or, I don't know, his parents could buy the equipment for him. The situation changed and you need what you previously offered, which she didn't act on in a timely manner. This is on her. ######

So basically, there’s this restaurant in my home town that for some reason my family absolutely love. It’s kind of a Mediterranean grill type restaurant. I don’t live in my home town anymore but do visit to see my family, and we always end up eating there. Me and my girlfriend are vegan. I normally try not to bring it up because I get embarrassed when people make a big deal about it, but it’s relevant to the story. Literally everything on the menu is a meat or fish dish. There is nothing on the menu I can eat so I normally have to ask if they’ll remove the meat from something, which results in a bit of a shitty meal, and they charge the same price for it. Not a huge deal, I’m kind of used to having to do that (although normally it’s easier to ask for no cheese on something than “can I have the chicken pasta with no chicken?”). Makes it a bit harder that the waiting staff there do always seem to take it as a personal attack. I’ve made the point that I don’t like eating there in the past several times, but the response has always been that I’m choosing to limit what I can eat, so I don’t really get a choice. Anyway, my birthday’s coming up, I’m travelling back home to see my family and my mum’s called me saying “I’ve booked us into \[the restaurant\] on your birthday”. I said can we just book somewhere else, there’s plenty of restaurants in town that are more accommodating. Apparently I’m TA because my mum would be embarrassed to call up to cancel the booking (they go there so often that the staff know them) and she’s already told all my family that that’s where we’re going. This ended up being a bit of an argument which has kind of soured going home for my birthday. I’m not trying to force veganism on my family, or get them to eat at a purely vegan restaurant, I just would like to eat somewhere with a couple more options. Am I being inconsiderate when everyone else loves it? Should I just suck it up and eat somewhere I don’t like eating on my birthday? ######

NTA *I've booked a restaurant with terrible vegan options for my vegan son.* That's what your mum has done. ######

I was a single mom to twin girls for 10 years (widowed when they were 7). I worked lots of hours and we all did our part in the house. They always had age appropriate chores and as they got older, they learned to become self sufficient by doing their own laundry and put it away, cleaning their shared bathroom, etc. This year I got married and gained a step daughter who is 14. Now by this age, my girls were doing their own laundry and cleaning their bathroom but I understand that not every kid is. However, I have noticed that my step daughter does very little around the house. Doesn’t clean her room (which fine, her domain), doesn’t do the dishes, expects me or her dad to do her laundry. My husband was also a widower, so it was also just them and I guess he did it all over the years. He admitted he didn’t want her to worry about anything. However, to me, that’s just not how a house is run. We all do our part. We’ve talked in the past about setting up a chore chart so the chores are split between our girls and it’s always “later”. Today, my husband was at work and I’m working from home. My step daughter was saying something about wanting to wear a certain top but it was dirty. I said I wasn’t doing laundry until tomorrow but if she wanted, I could show her how to do it. She seemed up for it, so I showed her, she did all the work and I just gave instructions. I told her from now on, she’d have to do it and she said okay. Then I taught her how to run the dishwasher. Afterwards, the three girls and I sat down and made a chore chart, so everyone would take turns doing dishes, sweeping, cleaning their shared bathroom, taking out the trash, etc. My husband came home and was pissed. He said it wasn’t my place and that we should’ve discussed it together. I said that I simply taught her life skills and balanced the work in the house. Am I an asshole? ######

NTA **You have tried talking to your husband about the chore chart and he always puts off discussing it until "later".** You didn't plan on taking matters into your own hands but it happened organically when your step-daughter said she wanted to wear a shirt that wasn't laundered. Your stepdaughter is fine with doing chores and the girls are all sharing the work evenly. **Just when would it have been your "place" to delegate the chores when your husband repeatedly refused to address the topic?** ######

This has been on my mind for quite some time now, so I decided to get an outsiders opinion. Some backstory: I don’t know how to write this out without sounding arrogant so I’m just gonna be straightforward - my family is a bit wealthier than my best friends. I don’t mean anything drastically, we both live comfortable lives, but my mom can give me and my siblings some extra joys of lifes. This has become a bit of a friction point between me and my friend, she’d throw some remarks here and there but never responded, because I don’t even know what I could say. Recently, I found out that my grandpa, who I am extremely close to, has cancer. It’s stage two and treatable, but it felt like getting punched in the throat when I heard. A week ago he started chemotherapy, and I been very concerned, because on the phone he sounds very weak. So, when I was talking to my friend about it, she said “well, at least if he dies, you’ll get even more money” . I was speechless... My grandpa is battling cancer and her mind is still on money. I asked her if she could please stop focusing on that for just a minute, to which she responded that I wouldn’t get it, cause I am not poor. ( Again, her family is not poor, her parents have average incomes) She then called me a bitch for being so insensitive and hung up. I felt like I am not the AH in this, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like one. AITA? ######

NTA ***MOST EMPHATICALLY NTA!!!*** >"So, when I was talking to my friend about it, she said “well, at least if he dies, you’ll get even more money” Holy cow, she is a bitter, bitter, sad pathetic person. What a crap thing to say. She's eaten up with jealousy. She's toxic. Horrible. ######

Backstory: had acne for almost 10 years. Couldn’t do anything about it (treat it orally) since healthcare isn’t free where I live, and dermatology appointments are costly. We were also, very poor. I had self esteem issues because of it, and my mum is the only person that I’ve shared this struggle with. She, out of everyone, knows how much I’ve been struggling with mental health due to acne. When I first started getting it, she would shame me (just make snarky remarks like “aren’t they bothering you? You look like bla bla bla”) into fixing it as soon as possible. So I became ashamed of my face and was obsessed with skincare. And I mean OBSESSED. Recently, I had to move back home with my parents because of the current climate. Today, my face progressed from moderate acne to very mild. I maintain a plant based diet that helped me a lot. Though from time to time, I get hungry and crave foods that cause flare ups (mainly dairy and baked goods). But since we’re all staying at home, I thought it would be fine to have a couple bites. One day, I ate too much, and I broke out. She saw my face and said “what even is that huge bump on your forehead? Did you hit your head?” And I don’t know where the anger came from, but I snapped “why do you always feel the need to say shit about my face?”. She started screaming and calling me over-sensitive. That because my face isn’t even THAT bad ( like it was before) I should learn how to take a joke. Now I feel that it’s my fault for making her feel bad. ######

NTA 'Learn to take a joke' is a thing jerks say. Jokes aren't jokes unless everyone's in on it, especially the person on the receiving end of it. ######

I [30F] was at a bar with friends back when that was still a thing and was approached by a past hookup who was clearly still interested. I told him that I wasn’t and he left us alone after that, but one of my friends (childhood friend of BF) was super offended that I hadn’t disclosed that I’d had a boyfriend when I turned him down. In my mind, turning a guy down by saying you have a bf is weaker than saying that you have no interest, period. Some guys don’t really care if you already have a bf, and from what I knew I’m pretty sure past hookup was in that category. She seemed to think not bringing it up was disrespectful because it gives appearance that I might be willing to cheat if it’s with the right person. I kind of get the perspective, but it feels like she’s looking for a way to twist my words and somehow make this unwanted situation my fault. I gave my BF a heads up and he didn’t really care, but some of our friends were acting weird about it. AITA? ######

NTA No means no. You don't need a qualifier or a reason to go with it. ######

I feel so awkward I’m new to this office and quite younger (recent grad) than my boss and coworkers- they are mid 30s I’m 22. The boss said our team should bond and have a team lunch - so we all meet up there and it’s a place where you build your own bowl. My boss is in the middle of us and tells the workers to just put everything on her card. Fast forward - we all eat lunch (6 of us) and at the end I was the only one to say thank you for lunch and everyone looked and she looked a little surprised and said “you’re welcome”. Now I am realizing I think she probably just put it on her card to make it faster and was expecting us all to pay her back via cash or Venmo. I feel really stupid. She never said it was her treat so I should have known better and now I’m wondering do I apologize days later or let it go but if I let it go AITA? ######

NTA/NAH - she’ll most likely claim it back on expenses. The look you got was probably out of shock because you thanked her. ######

I’m gonna be the first person to say that this is beyond pathetic I’ve recently moved in with my boyfriend and we got a puppy (great dane) who we named Ralph. We’ve wanted a dog forever and had picked a few names a while ago but I knew ultimately that I would want Ralph My brother and his wife had asked us what we were gonna call him and I mentioned a couple of picks (including Ralph) and they both said that they were cute choices We got Ralph two weeks ago and officially announced on Facebook that he’d “joined our family” and that his name was indeed Ralph. My SIL text me the next day saying she couldn’t believe I stole the name that she wanted for her dog. I actually laughed out loud and in response because I thought she was joking around. She followed it up with how “stupid” it would be to have two dogs in the family that are called the same name. I didn’t reply and she hasn’t spoken to me since haha When my brother came round to see my puppy, he said that she didn’t want to come because she was ‘furious’ with me but he told her it was stupid and that they weren’t even getting a dog, let alone even discussed wanting one! She was also mad with him for coming round because he “was taking my side” AITA for calling my puppy Ralph which apparently my SIL wanted for her dog? ######

NTA.You mentioned that you liked the name Ralph to them before you got the dog and they didn't say anything then. Not naming your real dog a name you like because a relative might someday name their at this point imaginary dog the same name is ridiculous. It's fine to have two dogs named Ralph. Your SIL needs to chill. ######

I (19F) have two twin 3 year old sons that I gave birth to in highschool, two years before I met my fiancé. Their father (19M) is also heavily present in their life. For a little background, I am Sicilian and Greek, and their father is Korean. Safe to say, they look very not white. My fiancé, however, looks very white. Curly blonde hair, pale skin, blue eyes. Whenever me and my fiancé go out with them, no one assumes that he is the father, which has never bothered me, my fiancé, their father, or my boys. Even now, as I am in the last few weeks of our first pregnancy together, we haven’t had any problems with our family. My fiancé and his parents are ecstatic for our baby girl, and so are my boys and their father. The only person it does bother is his older sister. Three days ago, while we were setting up the nursery in our apartment, his sister began talking about how I was not fit to be a good mother, and all the “complications” that would come from her being raised by a “dirty white” mother and surrounded by “halfling brats”; along with how she wanted nothing to do with my sons lives, only our daughters because she needed “actual guidance”. Of course, I went mental. I told her to get out of our apartment and how she could return her bridesmaids dress at her nearest convenience. My husband says I went too hard on her, and how she is just overprotective of him. I explained that she was blatantly disrespectful to me and our sons, and how I wasn’t going to tolerate it. He attempted to compromise and told me I needed to apologize, even if I don’t forgive her. AITA for refusing to apologize, or let her back in the wedding party? ######

NTA.This is a hill to die on. She apologizes, and the first moment she treats your children differently she's gone. If your fiancé doesn't agree, DO NOT MARRY HIM. Or your twins will forever be less-than. ######

This happened about a year and a half ago, my birthday was coming up and while I haven't really celebrated it since I was like 7 or 8 my dad gives me money for something I want. My buddy got tickets to a primetime football game and I asked for a ticket to that game for my birthday. He agreed to get it for me but he said I had to bring along my step brothers, I wanted to go to the game cause it was just gonna be me and my friend and I think his friend or something. I told my dad thanks but if they have to come then to just get rid of the tickets. He got disappointed but he just got rid of the tickets. I ended up not going to the game and got 20 bucks instead for my birthday, I am still pretty pissed that I wasn't able to go to the game. But my dad said "this is my punishment for not wanting them to tag along". AITA? ######

NTA.I'm not a fan of gifts with strings attached. I'm guessing you're what, a teenager? Dad should remember how well it goes over when a parent tries to control a teen's social life. However, there are a couple of things to keep in mind. First off, maybe Dad and Stepmom saw a chance for a little Alone Time. Plus maybe he wanted you to be closer to the stepkids. ######

The other day we had to suddenly take my seven year old niece for the night because my nephew, who is four, managed to get a pretty nasty gash to his head when he fell off his bike. My sisters (26) husband was out of state dealing with something to do with his family so we, my parents and younger sister (18F) and I (21), ended up taking my niece in for the night. She was pretty cranky all day because she wanted to be home with her new puppy, I told her that if she behaved then she could play on my Nintendo Switch for half an hour the next morning before my sister picked her up*. Well, she didn’t behave. She was honestly a little demon all night, but the next day she still demanded to play the Switch. I told her no because she didn’t behave. Well, she went to my mom and pulled the whole innocent granddaughter trick. My mother, who is an extremely kind person and spoils her grandchildren rotten because they’re the only grandkids she has right now (my younger sister and I aren’t having kids for years, college and career first). So she told me to let her play the Switch. I told her no, I bought it with my own money (I’m in college and work my ass off, saved little by little to afford a Switch) and she didn’t follow along with the deal. My dad also thinks I should have let my niece play, as does my older sister. The only member of my family on my side is my little sister. I know my niece is seven but she needs to understand that not everything needs to be given to her when she wants them. My parents and older sister keep making me feel guilty though, so that’s why I’m turning to the internet. So, Reddit, AITA? *My niece is getting limited screen time right now because when her school first went online she was ignoring her homework and my sister got a pretty nasty email. My parents won’t enforce it at our house but I am with the technology that I personally own. ######

NTA. Your niece is spoiled, and you shouldn't feel guilty about not enabling her when the rest of your family decides to raise her that way. ######

So my wife and I married in 2007. We had our first child in 2010 and our second child in 2013. Fast forward 5 years in July 2018 and we begun separation proceedings. I left the house in Feb 2019 and we'd been working with couple therapists and then a mediator for an amicable separation. We signed off on a separation agreement in December 2019. Tonight, we had agreed that my daughter would spend the next 3 days with me and my son would stay with her. I had given him a dumbphone with some credit in case he needed to contact me. He texts me begging me to pick him up. So I ring my wife twice and text her wondering what the story is, no answer, so I drive over to collect my son. At this stage, not wanting to drive off with him without her knowledge, and also to make sure she's OK, I ring the police. They show up, somehow speak to her. They ascertain she was too drunk and they say my son will stay me until tomorrow. I ask them if I did the right thing, they reply "Yes 100%". They're going to open a case and refer her to a Child Protection Agency. Just as I drove off, she storms out of the house and gives the finger, swears at me and banged on the car as I drove off. The kids are in shock and don't want to stay with her again. I don't want to destroy her life. I want things to work but I've had enough. AITA for calling the police on her? ######

Nta. Your kids are priority number 1. they don’t Wanna be there. The cops don’t want them to be there. You don’t want them to be there. She is a grown up and needs to get her life together. You’re in no way, shape or form an asshole for making sure your kids are safe. Also you’re not destroying her life. She’s doing this on her own ######

This happened a while back but I’m bored so here goes- I had mentioned to my neighbour across the street that I was going to buy a sofa bed for our office to use for overnight guests. She offered us a small one she had in her basement that she never used. It was old but in good shape but the mattress had to be replaced. Said great, thanks, and I bought a new mattress for it (she knew I was putting money into it). So after a year and a half or so I sold the couch and I had also listed a bunch of other stuff on FB because we were changing up the house and moving the guest room and getting a queen bed for it. The couch wasn’t worth anything, there are tons of free couches like it listed on kijiji, FB etc but I wanted to get back what I could from the mattress purchase (it was a $200 mattress and had been slept on once). I ended up selling it for $75. Neighbour saw my FB ads and she comments on one of the pics saying that if I’m getting rid of the sofa bed she wants it back. I didn’t respond and then that night she sends me a FB message, “As per my comment, blah blah want the sofa bed back if you are getting rid of it”. I responded that i no longer needed it so I sold it to recoup some of the cost of the new mattress. She then blocked me on FB. Was I TA here by selling it and not offering it back to her first? I had tossed the original mattress. It literally did not occur to me at all to ask her if she wanted it back. ######

NTA. What’s with all these people feeling as if they’re entitled to goods they USED to own. You spent $200 on it and it’s perfectly reasonable to want at least some of the money back when you’re getting rid of it. Your neighbour sounds super immature for blocking you on facebook for a couch they didn’t want anymore in the first place ######

So I'm from a traditional Indian family in England, my parents compare me to \*everyone\*, from my sister to the neighbour's kid etc. My sister is 5 years older than me \[26F\] and has been working for 2 years after graduating from a fairly prestigious university but earns the usual 2 years into your career wage (£35k, $43k). My parents always pitted me against my sister and that really fucked with our relationship, this means that my sister is insecure about her wage and is trying her best (we both have mental health issues from my parents' abusive parenting, see my post history for more info), she's had a lot to deal with. This year I worked really hard and got myself into a hedge fund for a grad job. This place will pay me over double what my sister earns; I'm not going to act like I'm not happy about this but I know that hurts my sister (she still wants the best for me, but it does hurt and I don't blame her for it). And I know that my parents finding out my wage will make them cocky, show off my wage, and put ridiculous amounts of pressure on my sister. My dad is also insecure about his role as the caregiver to the family since my sister already earns more than he does. Because of all this, I'm choosing not to tell my parents (and possibly even my sister (though she can guess how much I earn from the company I work for)) my wage, I'm already moving out so I'm fully independent of them and have no obligation and the way they act (even though I mentioned to them that comparing kids is reprehensible) I think justifies it. However this is really uncommon in our culture, I'm already forcing through my independence by moving out (without their consent) and now to not tell them my wage will really damage my relationship with them. AITA for putting my parents at arm's length, damaging the relationship further since I'm already forcing through my moveout, by not telling them my salary? ######

NTA. What the actual fuck kind of culture is that? ######

Hi all, So I referred my girlfriend for my old job (I was more or less promoted for got a 10k raise) She got the job and is now also paid 10K more a year than she used to be paid. We live together as well. I was given a referral bonus of 1K. She is insistent that I share it with her. I was not too fond of this idea and she is now very upset because “I make so much more money than her” and “she does so much for me” and “she works so hard at the new job” etc. Am I an asshole? ######

NTA. Unless you share all your income, which I doubt, but if you do, she should split her 10k as well if she's asking for you to share your 1k. ######

Okay so I'm 20 and I'm a bisexual woman. Recently, my niece came out to her parents and they were less than supportive. I'm not a confrontational person so to subtlety show my support for her I put "Bisexual" with a pride flag in my instagram bio because I knew my niece would see it. I don't usually tell anyone that I'm into women unless they explicitly ask. My boyfriend saw it and got really mad. Like, fucking furious. He says that I'm in an relationship so there's no need to put my sexual preferences in my bio because I'm not "open for shop". He said that now girls are going to be attracted to me and guys are going to fetishsize me. He basically thinks this is a precursor to cheating. He says that my bio and my "provocative" photos are giving people ideas. I explained to him that I'm trying to show support to my niece but my boyfriend says that I don't have a choice. I either take it out or I'm leaving. Am I an asshole? I understand where he's coming from. All his friends seem to agree with him but I have *zero* ill intentions. ######

NTA. This is the ultimatum that he’s willing to drop. Over an Instagram bio? Is he literally 16 years old? All I’m saying is if you give in now to this absurd demand then he’s just going to get more and more demanding. ######

Even though I live in a wealthy neighbourhood, people seem to not want to bother putting up fences for their dogs or even if they do put their dogs in the front Yard without being leashed to anything. Usually it’s not that big of a problem but, today it was. As I was walking my dog, another dog ran out of it yard and came towards us. He wasn’t barking or anything, I think he just wanted to say hello but, I’m very cautious of other dogs and I just kept walking. The dog followed us past a few houses (so for at least a couple minutes), and stopped to pee, we kept walking about a minute later I heard yelling looked back. A man was running frantically at the dog, a car was coming down the way and swerved out of the way. The man (the owner) sternly yelled at the dog, was able to grab it and take it home. To be clear I was down the road by now and while I saw what happened I wasn’t close at all. I went on with my walk and about an hour later on the way back, passed the house with the dog. As I had passed the house and was halfway passed the next house, the man that opened came out of his house and started calling after me. At first I didn’t realise he was calling after me and kept walking but when he continued to yell “hey” I tried around and said “me?” He started going off about how it was my fault his dog was almost hit by a car. I should have caught his dog and brought it back to his house. I countered his argument and said “actually if you had been keeping a close eye on your dog, he wouldn’t have wondered off. It’s your responsibility to watch after your dog and not mine.” The man huffed at my argument, waved his hand at me and walked away. AITA? To be clear a lot of the reason I didn’t bother with the dog is because I assumed the owner was close by and would call the dog back to him. Plus it wouldn’t have been easy to grab the dog and walk him back to his house as he didn’t have a leash and I had a dog if my own I was walking ######

NTA. The owner is responsible ######

Our 16F daughter recently came out and to be honest I don’t care and think there is nothing wrong with it.However,my wife thinks it’s weird,and has been acting hateful to our daughter.The other day she told me she’s thinks it’s wrong and that men are for women.I told her it doesn’t matter and that I only care about my daughters happiness.She told me she’s gonna try to do something to change our daughters mind.I straight up told her if she doesn’t Like our daughter for who she is then she doesn’t deserve her.She started getting mad saying it’s her daughter and that she loves her and needs to fix her.I told her what do you mean fix our daughter she’s perfectly fine.I told her she was of shit parent for not excepting our daughter and that I wouldn’t be surprised if our daughter cut her out of her life.She got mad at me a kicked me out on the couch.AITA ######

NTA. Thank you for standing up for your daughter. She needs all the support she can get right now. Your wife might benefit from visiting PFLAG and learning to be a more supportive and accepting parent. The suicide rates of LGBTQIA kids is terrifying. Rejecting your own child is unacceptable and dangerous and your wife can move past her current feelings and do better, surely. I hope so. Good luck! Stay strong! ######

For context: my laptop was originally given to my mother but she had no interest in it so she gave it to me. I've had it for almost 8 or 9 years. My sister was gifted the laptop she has when she was a teenager and has had it for over a decade. She is also older by 9 years, so 26rn and i'm 17. A month in quarantine, my sister had asked me to borrow my laptop. I agreed, as long as she gave it back by X hour so i could watch a movie (MHA for those interested). Giving national exams this June, it was extremely hard to find some free time and that was my first day off. I had planned this night for a week! I had assumed that it was something related to her college since she insisted on not telling me, my bad on this one. That's why i had agreed as hers is old. But NOPE. Turns out, she wanted was to check the size of SIMS so she could download it to her own laptop later. fine. I didn't like it but she said that's all she wanted so again i kept my cool But her PC couldn't hold the game. she then turned to me and claimed my laptop as her gaming one. I instantly told her that she can't do that and grabbed my laptop from her and procceeded to yell at her. When mom intervened, to my shock, she tried to defend my sister!! I have to spend long hours on my computer for classes and studying. I barely have any time off and those rare moments of free time; i want to spend them doing something i like! My sister was literally throwing a tantrum over it. I was furious with both of them. Had i done something like this, they would have cut my head off yet my mom wasn't on my side when she would have for my sister! My mom is a great, but she sometimes pulls this stuff. I wouldn't even care about giving my sister my laptop to play, Had she asked me first! So AITA? Still not giving it for those wondering ######

NTA. Sims is a big af game, it will slow your laptop down for sure especially since its already a bit old. I have it on mine and it takes up a lot of space and if she buys more packs it will only take up even more space. Its your laptop so your choice, she could just buy extra eternal space for her laptop. ######

I run a very successful online business, it started off as a simple hobby but slowly grew to the point that I quit my job to focus on this full-time. I know earn more per month than I was asking per year and I'm really enjoying working. I've been with my GF for about 3 years now and she never showed interest in either my my job or my business. She never knew how much I earned and never asked because I didn't exactly splash the cash around. She recently lost her job because of the current problem in the world and is struggling to pay her rent so I was forced to pay it for her. When she asked how I managed to do that I explained that my business had taken off and I was now doing it full-time. As soon as she heard this she begged me to hire her but I said no. Firstly, there's nothing for her to do not would she be able to do anything that I'd need help with. She's not exactly good with money and has no savings as she spends it nonstop, I suspect she'd just want to get paid for doing nothing. She got angry that I said no and is now giving me the silent treatment. ######

NTA. She isn't your wife. Don't put yourself in that situation where you have to work with your ex girlfriend because things didn't work out but you don't want to fire her. The fact that she's bad with money IMO is a red flag on its own. I'm not saying break up with her. But you can't let her get a hold of your money and you can't let her be dependent on you in a financial way. She needs to grow up and own her lack of responsibility. Maybe she will learn to be more fiscally responsible. ######

My (16f) aunt (33f) lives with my family. She has me drive her around, and refuses to sit in the front passenger seat because she wants to act like it’s a taxi/chauffeur situation, which is shitty of her, but I haven’t said anything. The other day we were driving through a restaurant drive through, and it was packed. The parking lot was full. My aunt got out of the car while we were in the drive through, and I asked what the fuck she was doing. She told me she was “getting claustrophobic”, and I told her to stay in the car so she doesn’t get hit by another car. (My reasoning for saying this is she wanted to walk close to the actual road to smoke, where traffic’s busy. y’know; normal road.) She ignored me and got out anyway, so when I pulled up to the drive through window, I got out and put child lock on the back doors. I did this because my aunt has done this several times before, has almost gotten hit when she does it, and once had her foot run over by a car because she does it. (Which, btw, she blamed on me even though another car ran over her foot...) I got our food, my aunt gets back in, we get on the main road, it’s a traffic jam. My aunt tries getting out of the car again, and finds that she’s child locked. She starts screaming and cussing at me, calling me a little mother fucker and screaming at me to let her out. So when we could pull over again, I pulled over, let her out, and told her she could call someone else for a ride home. (I left her at a gas station) I got home and my parents asked where my aunt was. I explained what happened, my mom told me I was in the right, and my dad flipped his shit. He told me to go out and pick her back up, and I told him to pick her up himself, because I’m done driving her around because she acts like a toddler. He decided it was appropriate to call me a spoiled bitch before leaving to pick her up. AITA for child locking my aunt, and then leaving her at a gas station? ######

NTA. She acts incredibly entitled, if I may ask why do you go along with it and act as her driver? ######

know this sounds horrible but there's background. I've been married 20 years and I've never been close to her. She skips over our kids on holidays and hasn't acknowledged a birthday, except her own, for about 5 years. My husband, her son, doesn't speak to her because of verbal abuse he had from her growing up. My nieces and nephew (18, 19 and 21) also don't speak to her because she is an awful toxic person. In Feburary she texted me that she had breast cancer. Being a nurse, I jumped into action and got her set up with a visiting nurse, meals on wheels and a housekeeper. I brought her to her first appt so I could understand what type and the treatment options as she refuses to wear hearing aids and has a 6th grade education. I followed up with her brother who lives nearby and relayed what he needs to do to help her. Then came her first chemo appointment. It was 4 and a half hours. She introduced me as "her ride" and "the bitch" to everyone who came in then sat on her phone talking to "her real daughter in law" being my husband's ex that he hadnt seen since they broke up in 1998, about me. Never said thank you. Then I got her home and walked her dog then gave him a bath. Cleaned her house and got her set up with ensure drinks and whatever she needed. Still no thank you. Now, I'm in the mindset of she has cancer and she can do or say anything she wants right now. My husband is livid. I didnt even tell him half of it. The more I thought about it the more I just want to wash my hands of it and pass the responsibility to her brother (hes nice but equally ignorant). Would i be a horrible person? I'm just over her ignorant shitty behavior. ######

NTA. Let her "real" daughter in law take her to chemo. ######

There's this business one of my closest friends wants to invest in. He says it will make loads of money. He asks me for money to start it up, saying he will pay me back double in three months. Keep in mind what he is asking for is not pennies, it's a huge amount of money (at least for a teenager anyways) Anyways, I tell him that l don't have that kind of money. He tells me to take some money out of my savings to help him out. I refuse saying that l worked hard for that money, I can't risk losing it. I have been saving up for the past year for an xbox one, he knows this. Anyways he explodes saying the way l don't care about him and l never have. He says a real friend would help him out. He says that l am not willing to take risks and that's why l will never move forward in life. He has this obsession with Bill Gates and wants to be a multi millionaire, like him. For context, we are both 18. I am a girl, he is a boy. ######

NTA. He is not entitled to your money and these get rich quick schemes are garbage. How will he repay you when his plan fails? He risks nothing but you risk your savings. You'd be a fool to agree and a real friend wouldn't put you in that position. ######

I (F18) love cooking when I get the chance, and like to make food from different places. Usually, when I make something, I cook it for the whole family; it makes me really happy to see them eating the food I've made, especially as I put a lot of work into it. My younger brother (14) usually helps me when I cook and it's a fun bonding activity for us. It's also worth noting that we don't cook often, and we both look forward to it. However, my Step-Dad has a habit of actively making fun of my hobbies, including my cooking. He has never once tried anything I've made and makes a show of making something different (usually chicken nuggets and chips). I normally just let it go as I understand that what I make might not be to his taste, but today was the final straw. I was sat in the next room over from him and my mum and I heard my mum telling him that my brother and I were going to cook dinner tonight. He laughed and said "well in that case, I'll just have a sandwich. I'm not eating that shit." it's worth mentioning that he hadn't even been told what we were cooking yet. I'm getting sick of him always doing this and I'm considering just not cooking at all anymore, because he takes all the fun out of it. Knowing how he thinks about my hobbies is really hurtful and makes me want to stop doing it altogether. I don't know if I'm just being childish and overreacting, but WIBTA if I refused to cook for the family tonight and possible altogether?. ######

NTA. But don't let the arsehole win. Cook for the rest of you. Serve everyone else. Make sure he knows you aren't even bothering with him. And please tell your mum how you feel. Ask her why she thinks how he treats you is ok. ######

So my gf has been staying w me for a bit, and she brought her cat with her. She pretty much let’s her cat do whatever he wants but I want to teach him to not climb on top of certain things such as my desk where I keep my expensive computer and other equipment I use for graphic design and music production. Her cat scratched the heck out of my adjustable bed base that was pretty pricy so I bought him a big cat tower. He stopped scratching my bed. The other day I bought a new table and he’s already ripped one of the chair covers by scratching it and my girlfriend says I’m uptight bc I bought scratch deterrent spray. I don’t mind him on my bed or on my couch but I don’t want him climbing on the table or my record player and stuff like that. I get he is a cat and that’s what cats do, that’s why I bought him his tower and other toys. Am I overreacting? ######

NTA. As a cat owner myself, no one likes a cat that destroys shit. It's not "just what they do". Just like any animal we keep as pets, we train them not to do undesirable destructive things. No one in their right minds would let the cats do whatever. Cats scratch to sharpen nails. So yes a cat post is a necessity. Cats will jump and climb because they need stimulation, hence toys. And they need to be told what is acceptable behaviour and what's not. In turn, good ownership is teaching them what is appropriate and what isn't. You aren't over reacting by getting a spray. I taught mine by lining my counters with tinfoil for about a week. They now associate the counter with a crap feeling on their claws and don't do it. They also get sprayed with water when they do a shit behaviour. Your girlfriend can start being a responsible pet owner, or she can start paying for the damages her animal is causing. ######

My fiance and I have been together for almost 3 years, we got engaged 3 days before I found out I was pregnant. He wanted me to get an abortion or give the baby up for adoption because he said we weren't ready. I said I wasn't comfortable doing that as I knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I wasn't supposed to be able to have children so getting rid of what I see as a miracle would destroy me. I told my fiance that he could leave, sign of his rights if he wanted to, I wouldnt hold it against him and I wouldn't go after him for child support or anything. He had been on and off again supportive but never left. Our son is 2 months old and my fiance snaps at him, says rude things to him, etc because "he's a baby and he won't remember it" but there's a lot of anger towards the baby. I don't want my son to be raised in a household where there's resentment and I feel like that's how it will be. So am I the asshole for keeping my son which is causing turmoil within my fiance and for my son to be raised with a father who shows the resentment? ######

NTA. Also, RUN. Please take your son and run FAR AWAY, and NEVER look back. If you stay and let this continue the “snapping” could turn into physical abuse. Either way, he’s already being emotionally abusive and I don’t see that stopping. Please be safe! ######

I (21m) plan on proposing to my partner early next year and we have been jokingly talking about it for months and months. what kind of dress she would like and what sort of venue would be perfect etc. the other day we were talking about who would be attending and i immediately said i do not want my dad there, he was never really there for me when i was growing up and had a tendency to be horrible towards me and my two half sisters (mums side of the family) to the point i dont have any good childhood memories of him, then when i was about 11 he just walked out of my life and has only come back in the past year acting like he never did any wrong. my gf of six years having only met my father on 2 occasions and having never really had a proper conversation with him immediately said that i was in the wrong and should invite him regardless of what hes done in the past. am i the asshole for not wanting him at my wedding? ######

NTA. Your wedding, invite who you like, an absentee father has no right being there. ######

Throwaway since this is stupid petty. My roommate and I are both vegetarians. She regularly shames people for what they eat, including meat and any carbs. I have bad anxiety/depression which often leads to no appetite (she knows this) and regularly all I can eat is cereal or pasta, which she always comments on so she’s been getting on my nerves a lot. I also don’t like her because I always catch her in dumb lies so I guess you can say we have a lot of beef. ... Yesterday she had a stressful day due to an online exam so she went out and got a chicken sandwich from a popular fast food place. She sent me a picture from her car with the caption “cheat day” showing the half eaten sandwich. Sometimes I have cheat days myself so I don’t judge her for that at all. Yesterday we were on a zoom call with some mutual friends and vegetarianism came up. My roommate kept joking around calling everyone murderers like she often does. One person said he’d thought about going veg but didn’t know if they could give up meat. My roommate assured him that it had been hard at first but if you stuck for it as long as she did you stopped craving it altogether. I pointed out that she’d sent me a picture of a half eaten chicken sandwich the day before. No one really judged her or said anything but the guy she’d been talking to about it laughed and the conversation moved on shortly. My roommate is mad because she says I really embarrassed her. I told her she needed to stop judging people for what they eat and asked why she felt the need to lie. She said her diet is not anyone else’s business but I think she made it their business by lying openly. She isn’t talking to me now. - TLDR: I called out my veg roommate for lying about eating meat after she regularly shames other people for their dietary choices ######

NTA. Your roommate sent you a picture of her sandwich without any shame surrounding it, you didn’t sneak behind her back to tell other people what she was doing, it was an open conversation she was participating in and had knowledge of and the topic was relevant. She can be upset all she wants, but what you did was not an asshole move. ######

I’ve always struggled at school since I was a kid, I would drift off and daydream or get distracted and fidget and forget what I was supposed to be doing, or just be really restless and it would annoy people. My teachers suggested I get tested a few times, but my parents don’t really believe in ADHD, they think it’s just a label for boys who’ve had too much sugar and not enough discipline, and that people just use it as an excuse for being lazy and just needed to try harder. I ended up dropping out of high-school because I couldn’t keep up even though I swear I was putting in a monumental effort, and tried TAFE instead, where I failed 2 courses and barely passed one with all the additional help they offered. I really don’t think I’m dumb though, I just really struggle to sit still and concentrate long enough to get the information in my head and process it, and especially now that everything is online I’m terrible at time management and sometimes I want to start I just can’t get myself moving. I get really overwhelmed by the work and my brain will just be like “nope” and then trying to force myself to sit there and read a paragraph is like smacking my head against a brick wall and I come away absolutely mentally exhausted and need to like sit and stare off into space for a few hours to recuperate. I’ve just failed another course for getting too far behind, but I’ve actually moved out of home and could go to a doctor and get checked without my Mum knowing, but I feel bad about going behind their back and she’ll probably find out anyway and be really angry. And if I did end up having ADHD, she would definitely get angry at me for trying to get treated. I just want to find out what’s wrong with my brain so I can actually study and get a job and have a life instead of constantly failing everything. ######

NTA. Your mental health should be your top priority. How old are you? You can probably schedule an appointment without your parents consent. ######

I’m a stay-at-home mom with four kids, ages 3-9. Husband has been working from home for the past few weeks. We didn’t have a home office set up before this. He could have chosen the guest room at the back of our house for his work space, as there’s a desk in there. But he said it was too small for him, so he set up in the dining room. He tried to block off an area with room dividers, but it’s not the same as having actual walls. Also, the dining room is (obviously) right next to the kitchen, but also next to our designated playroom for the kids. His job is fairly flexible, but we try to stay out of his way while he’s working, especially when he has conference calls. I’ve taken the kids to the back room at times when he’s asked for quiet, or we’ve gone for walks. On this particular day, his call was close to lunchtime and I was making food in the kitchen, while the kids were in the playroom, where I can see them from the kitchen. I did have to keep reminding them to keep their voices and playing quieter, but I actually thought they were doing a good job. When the call was over, husband came out of his “office” and said, “well, that was the worst meeting I’ve had. They couldn’t be quiet for one hour. That’s all I asked for: one hour.” I couldn’t even respond. I felt like it was all my fault and I was a terrible person for not taking the kids out of the house for that hour. This feeling was made worse by the fact that there was nowhere to escape in the moment. We’re all stuck at home together. I have friends who’ve made work-from-home spaces in garages so that they’re away from the noise of their kids. I understand that it’s stressful to change his work environment and that the kids are distracting, but my job has also changed a lot, with no school or activities or friend visits to distract the kids. So, am I the asshole? ######

NTA. Your husband has unreasonable expectations and is being inflexible. He has more ability to work in a small room than your four kids have to be quiet for an hour. The only appropriate response is “You’re request was obviously not realistic, and you should have known that. Go set up in the guest room if you need that level of quiet.” ######

My grandparents took me and my siblings out on a bike ride. And when we got back we made lunch. And I made a sandwich with ham and cheese with mayonoise on the bread. And my grandma procceds to throw away the sandwich I made and said. “You won’t like that” and I said. “Yes I will” she then makes me a new sandwich with what she likes. And tried to give it to me. And i said no thanks I can make my sandwich how i want it” she then gies in a tyrant about how I’m ungrateful. And I just left to go sit in the porch that they have. Reddit AITA here? ######

NTA. Your grandma is trying to force you to eat how *she* likes to eat. You can eat how you want. ######

My daughter’s college completely refunded this quarter’s pay. She came back home because they couldn’t keep dorms up. I got a cashier’s check of $14,937 from the college. I was honestly surprised that they refunded it. When I told my family, my daughter complained and said that it was her money. I completely disagreed. I paid for her college, she just worked to save up money and for rent. This 15k was entirely for the family, not just for her. She argued that paying for college was a gift, and this was akin to refunding a gift. I again completely disagree. The money was entitled to me, not her. Therefore it’s my money. While I’m not going to use the money solely for myself, I’m going to put it into a savings account for my other kid. So, AITA? ######

NTA. Your daughter didn't pay that money, you did. The opportunity to go to college was the gift, which she still has. It isn't her money. ######

My father was born in ‘77 and my husband was born in ‘79. I just so happened to be born in ‘94. Now the age difference between my husband and I does not bother me in the slightest bit. Nor does it bother my grandparents or my siblings only my dad. My father didn’t raise me. I lived with my grandparents my entire life and I feel like my dad is more like my brother instead of a father and that my grandfather is more like a father to me. My grandfather is 72. Every time we have a family get together my father treats my husband like garbage and my husband is actually very good to me. He loves me unconditionally. I have full trust in him and we are expecting a little boy in November. He’s a sweet man who cried upon hearing the news and has pampered me since the day we found out. But my dad says it’s “weird” that they are so close to the same age and I got so tired of him belittling my husband and making him the joke of the evening and I told him “you didn’t raise me, Mamaw and papaw did while you ran around getting drunk all week and hanging out with women, you didn’t even call me on my birthday last week and I doubt you even know what day it was on or even how old I am. I didn’t buy you anything for Father’s Day and bought papaw something instead because you weren’t a father. You were just an over glorified brother and I don’t care if you are uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable for me to have a 9 year old brother and my 5 year old daughter has a 9 year old uncle but I don’t go making running jokes about it every time I see you. No one cares that you’re uncomfortable” Well he got pissed to say the least and stormed off. My stepmom is berating me over it and saying I need to be kinder to my father but enough is enough. AITA? ######

NTA. Your choices. You are an adult. He is too. He should get over it ######

I (20F) have been dating my boyfriend (22M) for coming up on 9 months. We are in a long-distance relationship and haven't seen each other for over a month (since quarantine began) but we FaceTime every day and he is normally very sweet. Today, while FaceTiming, he asked me if he could download Tinder so that he could get new music recommendations from people's profiles. He has a Spotify playlist of songs that he would see on people's profiles (before we were dating) called "Tinder Tracks." He said that it was lacking and he needed to add more songs to it. I, at first, thought that he was joking but when I asked it seemed like he definitely wasn't. He added that he would put the settings so that he could only see guys. I continued to be upset with him because I just didn't understand why he would want to download Tinder while in a relationship and I thought there were plenty of other better ways to discover new music. I started crying and he said that I wasn't trusting him. I asked if he would've used his own pictures and name and at that point he told me that he wouldn't but to me it seemed like he just said that because I was upset. He justified it by saying that his Spotify playlists are very important to him. We ended up getting in a big fight and I was crying a lot. I don't know if I'm crazy for being mad at him. ######

NTA. Your boyfriend is trying to pull a fast one on you. Tinder isn't for music. It sounds like he's trying to get his dick wet. That's like people who say that they join dating apps to make friends. ######

My (f22) boyfriend (m24) wants me to pretend to be religious and occasionally go to church with his family in the future, for fear that his mother would disapprove. He mentioned it when he found out about my atheism a few weeks after dating, and I was fine with it but now it just feels wrong. On one hand, I understand his concern, as my own family disapprove greatly of my atheism, but on the other hand, I feel like he's ashamed of it, and I don't like that I'm once again having to hide a part of myself, for fear of what others think. He at first claimed he wasn't that religious, but it became obvious that he is, and I've never had any problem with it. In fact, I love how strongly he feels about his religion, dispite the fact that I don't share it. I don't want to cause him any altercations with his family, especially since he's currently having to live with them "(financial trouble), but I also don't want to pretend to be something I'm not, as it makes me feel like he doesn't fully accept me as I am. And there's also the fact that I already agreed to pretend, before I'd really thought about it. I wouldn't mind going to church with them every now and then, but I want to be able to be open about my atheism. So WIBTA if I refuse to lie about my religion? Either way, I know it's something I need to discuss with him, but I still want the opinion of others. ######

NTA. Your boyfriend is TA, but gently. If he's told you that he isn't religious but over time it's become apparent that he is, or isn't willing to let go of any pre-existing relationships he may have had with his church, then this reads to me like he is struggling with what he actually believes in. It is natural to not want that outed, especially if he doesn't know himself. He might decide that he is, or he might decide he isn't, or he might convert to another religion, but that train of thought isn't for much else but his own contemplation. I understand why he would want you to essentially fake it, but he's wrong to ask it. It might be worth sitting down with him and discussing this, try to find out if there is an underlying concern, but don't sacrifice your own beliefs for the sake of keeping his family happy. Your belief or lack thereof is just as important as his and should be respected just as his is. ######

So this is going to be pretty short and simple. As me and my partner have been starting to plan out the birth of our child I told him I want the two of us to have some time to just bond with the baby. As I have been looking up the rules due to COVID we realised this wouldn’t be a problem. I am allowed one birthing partner which will be my partner, and he is the only one allowed to visit following the rules. At first my mum tried to insist that she would be there but quickly agreed that if I wanted my partner then that was fine. However the other day I mentioned that because of COVID we won’t be allowed visits either. She kept saying that she didn’t care and she would still be there and would wait outside to meet the baby if she isn’t allowed in. I get that she’s excited but this felt a little too far for me, as if she was expecting me to give birth and instantly go outside so she could meet her grandchild. I love my mum to bits but this is kind of pushing me towards not telling her when I go into labour and only telling her when my baby is born (she’ll have about an hour and a half drive to get there anyway) just so I can postpone a little bit of stress. I want her to meet the baby as soon as she can, but I don’t want to be giving birth feeling stressed about it. Will I be the asshole if I don’t tell her when I go into labour? ######

NTA. Your baby. Your labor. Your choice. But just to add, I highly doubt a hospital would allow you to take the baby out of the hospital just to meet your mom. Before, hospitals were even blocking partners from being with laboring moms due to the virus. So, while I get she's your mom, for the safety of everyone (especially the baby), your mom should wait for a more suitable time to meet her grandchild. And I don't know all the polices, but this could mean that she doesn't get to meet the baby at the hospital at all. ######

My (M27) wife (F26) is currently unemployed due to the corona virus and I work as a software engineer for a tech firm. I use my custom built PC for modeling the potential infrastructural flaws in the event of different dangers (from terrorist bombings to a burning building that suddenly floods). Due to the potential dangers associated with the wrong parties having this information, especially government buildings, the pc runs on an encrypted software. I tend to work at night due to my sleep schedule just naturally keeping me up later etc. My wife has taken to installing simple games like Minecraft and csgo to fulfill her day, seeing as I do not use the pc while she does. She hid the game files and their data in a plain looking folder labeled “extra.” An email a few days later from my manager concerning a series of suspicious downloads led me to discover said folder. I quickly terminated the entire folder and apologized to my manager for the breach explaining the situation, which is now pending a review to ensure the security of the rest of the files. While I’ve been assured that it’s standard procedure and the computer wasn’t compromised, I’m still upset she would risk my job over some stupid entertainment! To make matters worse she was mad at me over the lost game data which she spent many hours designing a neighborhood saying I could have easily transferred the data onto a different disk! I tried explaining how the presence of outside software was a risk even if everything is from a verified source etc. We got into a huge argument with her accusing me of sucking up all the oxygen in our apartment over my career and destroying her art and mental growth and sanity during this quarantine. She further went on to imply that I was being a bad husband by only sharing with her physically in a world where technology is integrated into our everyday lives. Please let me know AITA? ######

NTA. You’re not some little kid who won’t let their sister play on their Xbox, this is your work device so the fact she thinks she can download games to it is astounding. That’s not even taking into consideration the fact that she knows how important that device is for security purposes. Don’t let her guilt you into thinking you’re a bad husband because you care about your job (and the only source of income you guys have). ######

Okay so hear me out, I know that the title makes me seem straight up like an asshole but I have my reasons. I live in a very close nit neighbourhood in the UK mostly made up of terrace houses, I live on the end of the street and only have one next door neighbour, and they are neighbours from hell. When we moved in 10 years ago, within days we had been told to "fuck off back to our own country" (we're british, so idk), they called the RSPCA on us because our cat kept using their front garden as a litter box while they were working on it, it was mostly sand, and every time I saw her doing this I cleaned it up and apologised, accused my younger brothers of egging their house (they did have eggs on their patio but upon later inspection they found out they were pigeon eggs that had fallen from a nest in their roof but they never got an apology) and various other things, we usually get a knock on the door by the police every now and then for some bullshit complaint. But their favourite one is to start a BBQ or Bonfire every single time we put washing outside to dry. My solution to this issue is to play very loud (and slightly offensive) music right before I plan to hang it outside so they leave for the day (I haven't done this since lockdown because I don't think it would be fair considering the virus) Ive tried being civil and asking them not to start fires right as I hang my washing and this has been occurring for 10 years straight but I got told to go fuck myself because they can do what they want when they want. I could technically dry my clothes in the dryer inside but in the summer in an old house with no AC and poor ventilation it gets almost impossible to breathe. But I have to know Aita? ######

NTA. You’re just playing music, they sound as though they have been terrorising you. Can you move away? ######

I [20 M] live with my mum and brother [8]. I've wanted a switch since it came out but life and other hobbies have gotten in the way. Over the quarentine my expenses have gone down since I no longer have to buy food at uni, and I should have enough pocket money to pay off the rest of this year's fees and to get a Switch. However, my brother's been very uncooperative with studying as he wants to play videogames all day instead. Because of this my mum has told me to not get a Switch, as she wants to cut my brother's gaming time and feels that even if I were the one to get the switch with my own money, he'd still see it as a reward. I've already decided to not got the Switch to keep the peace, but am I the only one who feels it's unfair that my brother's misbehaving is directly affecting what I can do with my own money? INFO EDIT: I could absolutely keep it in my room and restrict his access to it. If I was really commited I could probably have it without him ever knowing (although I probably wouldn't go that far) ######

NTA. You're a 20 year old adult. You can purchase whatever you'd like. Get the switch and just don't let your brother play it and keep it locked somewhere so he doesn't try to sneak it. ######

This morning, my mom asked for 500 (I am not going to state the currency, because I want to stay anonymous). I was happy to give it to her, but I only had 1000. I gave her that amount and asked when she was going to give it back. "I don't know." That seemed like a red flag to me. But then I realized I had a 500 bill in my wallet, so I said I had the amout she wanted and I was willing to give it to her. Suddenly, she didn't want it anymore and said that it was not enough. Like, what? That's the amount you initially asked for!! Then she got very defensive and insisted on the 1000. I found that extremely sketchy so I told her that I wasn't going to give her any money. Am I the asshole for not giving her the money? ######

NTA. You were being generous, and when you found the amount you originally agreed upon, she tried to choose like she had a right to. Beggars can’t be choosers. X-post on r/ChoosingBeggars please ######

My child will be 2 in just a few months and I plan to switch his car seat from rear to forward facing at that point. He'll still be a few pounds below the max weight for his rear facing, but I'm going to switch him anyways. My reasons are he gets carsick and I'm hoping that will help, I'm the only one who loads or unloads him and it's getting painful for both of us, and it's much easier to see and help him while in the car. My husband thinks we should follow the strictest car seat rules, so leave him rear facing until he is exceeding the weight limit. My argument is that he's not the one who loads/unloads or drives him around, plus he'll still be in an approved car seat and has already surpassed the minimum for forward facing. I finally told him as long as I'm doing all the car seat related activities, and I'm following the law, I'll do it the way I see fit. Now he's says ITA for ignoring what he wants and putting our child at risk. ######

NTA. You switch when the low weight limit on forward facing is reached. The reason it overlaps is because to give you the option on which seat to use. And if you are doing the seating (why doesnt he do it?) then its your decision. Edit. And waiting until he exceeds the weighlimit IS putting the child at risk. ######

I (23F) bought a house last year in a fairly well-off area (not a neighborhood though). My cousin (21F) has been living with me for the past 3 months because of financial issues: she pays a bit of rents and helps me do housework around the house. She's a really nice person in general. On the Fourth of July, she brought her boyfriend (22M) of 9 months over. He's a really responsible, nice person that I enjoy having around. We ate dinner and then he showed my cousin fireworks that he brought over, and he said he was going to use them in the backyard. I told him no and we could do it after dinner somewhere else, because my two dogs (one is a puppy and another is an older, more frail dog) are terrified of loud noises and I didn't want him damaging the grass. While me and my cousin went to wash the dishes, the boyfriend snuck outside and used the fireworks! When I confronted him about it, he said that he wanted to make us happy and that the dogs being scared would be OK because the fireworks were beautiful. I got angry at him and told him that he was not welcome in our house anymore because he couldn't wait 30 minutes. He got very disappointed and went away, and my cousin got extremely mad at me because he just wanted to show us the fireworks. Am I the asshole here? ######

NTA. You specifically said no because of the dogs and he went outside and lit them anyway. ######

The other day we had to suddenly take my seven year old niece for the night because my nephew, who is four, managed to get a pretty nasty gash to his head when he fell off his bike. My sisters (26) husband was out of state dealing with something to do with his family so we, my parents and younger sister (18F) and I (21), ended up taking my niece in for the night. She was pretty cranky all day because she wanted to be home with her new puppy, I told her that if she behaved then she could play on my Nintendo Switch for half an hour the next morning before my sister picked her up*. Well, she didn’t behave. She was honestly a little demon all night, but the next day she still demanded to play the Switch. I told her no because she didn’t behave. Well, she went to my mom and pulled the whole innocent granddaughter trick. My mother, who is an extremely kind person and spoils her grandchildren rotten because they’re the only grandkids she has right now (my younger sister and I aren’t having kids for years, college and career first). So she told me to let her play the Switch. I told her no, I bought it with my own money (I’m in college and work my ass off, saved little by little to afford a Switch) and she didn’t follow along with the deal. My dad also thinks I should have let my niece play, as does my older sister. The only member of my family on my side is my little sister. I know my niece is seven but she needs to understand that not everything needs to be given to her when she wants them. My parents and older sister keep making me feel guilty though, so that’s why I’m turning to the internet. So, Reddit, AITA? *My niece is getting limited screen time right now because when her school first went online she was ignoring her homework and my sister got a pretty nasty email. My parents won’t enforce it at our house but I am with the technology that I personally own. ######

NTA. You set expectations for something and your niece agreed to the terms. Sure, she's young, but as her family you've taken on some of the responsibility of helping her grow as a person. It takes a village and whatever.... Anyway, I believe you provided her a valuable life lesson and hopefully she'll learn from it. ######

Hi everyone. I live in a small town in the southern US with my wife and two daughters (8 and 10). My wife and I own property on the same block we live on and we rent those properties out. I’ve been a landlord for over a decade and usually, it’s not a bad experience. My wife and I receive unemployment and are therefore not relying on money from our tenants right now. We are not requiring them to pay rent for the time being, as long as they abide by rules set in place by our state’s governor. This is outlined in an e-doc they’ve all signed. Our next door neighbors have been fucking abysmal. They have 15-20 people over all day, every day, grilling out and chasing their guests’ unleashed dogs down the block. It’s unsafe, unsanitary and it breaks the guidelines I set for waiving their lease. I’ve had two discussions with one of the tenants about this behavior and both times they apologized and said they’d follow the rules more closely. No luck. Today my girls ran upstairs bawling their ever loving heads off. One of the neighbor’s friend’s big dogs had gotten into our yard again, and this time into my girls’ (newly built, with very fragile young sprouts) garden bed and trampled everything. My girls are going through enough right now and they have worked so hard on this thing. I just saw red. I stormed over and I have to admit got *incredibly* testy with the tenant, saying “I’ve warned you twice. I’ll expect rent on the fifteenth or you can get the fuck out and be someone else’s headache.” I came back home and my wife was asking what happened. I told her and she was appalled. She said I had every right to be angry, but it’s a garden, the plants will grow back. She said re-instating rent was a horrible thing to do and it seemed like it was more about power than controlling the situation with their behavior. My wife is a pretty reasonable person, so I’m taking that pretty hard. Am I being a bastard? Give it to me straight. ######

NTA. You set conditions. They agreed to these conditions. They are now violating these conditions. Ergo, they have voluntarily triggered whatever consequences come. ######

On the last day before lock down I called in to work because I needed to get my nan an ambulance. She could only maintain consciousness for 10-15 seconds at a time. I've lived with her for 3 years and became her carer when she was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis. My nan tested negative for the virus twice so we realised that it was a rapid decline in her health. She went into hospice care and was put on end of life. My boss had sent me a few emails, I replied to all of them cordially, and asked him to mark any important emails as such as my nan is dying. My nan died on 7th April this year and on the 8th, I announced it online because I have people who always had my nan's presence in their life and I said that I would be leaving social media to sort out the funeral, the estate and the likes. I got tagged in 8 posts, 1 per day for 6 days and 2 on the last day from managers asking me to put on my uniform and hold up a sign and shout happy birthday to my boss. I saw the original post and I thought, I don't really have time and I'm not in the right mindset to do this. One of my managers kept tagging me in posts saying "come on, you've only got a few days to send your video in. It can't be that hard." And "it'll only take 5 minutes." But they posted saying that we needed to have on clean and ironed uniform. For a 10 second video. I'm looking to be promoted and I'm trying to make a good impression with everyone at work and I think by not doing it, I've made people feel like I'm not bothered about the team. My closest friends at work think it's perfectly understandable but management seem to have a different opinion. I just couldn't bring myself to pretend like it's business as usual when my nan's ashes are sat in my living room. ######

NTA. You seem very calm and well-collected, as well as very punctual and thorough with communication; you are **definitely** not being an asshole in my eyes. If you decided to do their silly birthday gimmick and hold up a sign and shout happy birthday, I can't deny it would've seemed like you put in the extra mile. But to hold it against you? Fuck that. If management puts your mental state below a silly 10-second video, that's ridiculous and they're the assholes imho. ######

Hi, I am a 14 year old male and have a sister with autism who is 11. I recently brought my PlayStation into the living room because I am remodeling my room so I’m sleeping up stairs in my other sisters room on the floor and brought my PlayStation upstairs My sister asked if she could play the demo of Just Dance and I said just once, she agreed and I let her dance to 2 songs. It was no big deal to me until I brought my PS VR headset to play Carnival games and SUPERHOT. I was playing for around 15 minutes till she asked if she could play. I said no and my dad agreed because he didn’t know how she would react (she gets overwhelmed easily due to anxiety and has a meltdown.) until my mom jumped in and argued with my dad until he said fine. I didn’t want her to due to it being made out of plastic and how flimsily it really is. Also with this list of the past things she has broke My PS3 disk and cases by ripping up the covers and scratching the disk My Xbox 360 by grabbing it and dropping it on the floor A Dell desktop and 2 monitors Mac computer by downloading viruses A keyboard My copy of Super Mario maker for the WII U by snapping it My old phone A Samsung tablet Xbox one disc drive (temporarily broken) Xbox one disc (about 5) And a few other things. With her history of breaking things I didn’t want her to break the VR headset. She has an Xbox one, my 3DS, a new Mac, and my Wii U which I was hoping she would play instead but she can’t settle with any of them. Luckily she didn’t break it but gave me anxiety because she kept tugging and yanking on it but yeah it survived. So guys and gals, AITA? ######

NTA. You have a right to protect your stuff, especially if she has a history of destroying things. ######

Yesterday, after I get off my 12hr shift from treating covid patients at the hospital. I park and am going upstairs. My wife stopped by her car so I planned to meet her in the lobby to go up the elevator to our apartment. Right as the door opens she says some guy started coughing on her on the way to the elevator. He was with his sister and niece. After my wife turns around and says “are you serious?” He laughs and says “it’s a joke”. But this ticked me off, i go upstairs and confront the guy. Asking him if he thinks it’s funny to cough on people and say it’s a joke. He insistently continues it’s a joke, I’m sorry. I tell him i work with covid patients everyday and see them die on a daily basis. He then starts getting nervous and starts stuttering. But still insistent that it was a harmless joke. I ask him if it’s funny in a pandemic and he still says yes. He starts blaming it on he’s been quarantined for 8 weeks and he’s not thinking straight. We ask him if that’s the type of behavior he teaches his niece and he can’t answer. I tell him, you can be an asymptomatic carrier and still transmit the disease. If you get my wife sick, you are responsible. He continues to chuckle and say it’s a joke. Until I tell him if she gets sick, you will be charged with acts of terrorism with a biological weapon as the Justice Department so nicely stated recently in March. He then gets scared and profusely apologizes. However, when my wife asks if he would still do it if i was next to him. He stated yes it’s a joke. I ask him for his ID so i can take a picture for contact tracing. He refuses, so i take a picture of him. I reported him to the local PD. Who now has opened a case and has requested his personal information from our leasing office. So Reddit, pandemic and all AITA for reporting him? ######

NTA. You gave him multiple opportunities to stop thinking it's OK to continuing doing that. And even then after this: > However, when my wife asks if he would still do it if i was next to him. He stated yes it’s a joke. He still didn't change his mind nor attitude. It sounds like he'd keep doing it but to others as well. People like him can potentially infect others just for his amusement. Good on you. ######

So I (20M) am friends with her (20F). She moved from America with her family around a year ago for permanent here to England. One of the things she was surprised by was the usage of the word cunt. She came with me to a lot of parties and would hear the word used a lot by both guys ans girls.alike. She definitely was shocked by it. Well we face timed yesterday and she said that when lockdown is over and parties happen again, she is going to "take a stand" whenever she hears the word used in a social setting. I told her that's a bad idea as the cultural connotation of the word in the UK, especially among younger people, is massively different to America. It's the equivalent of telling people to stop saying the word mate, that it wouldn't go down well if she tried to police that word. Example of the times shes disliked use of the word, at parties people would say "hey up cunt" to one another (noone said it to her but she saw other people say it to others), "you daft cunt" (in a joking maner) etc. Well I told her my view that cunt is one of those things she just has to accept is different here and she got upset and called me ashole. AITA? ######

NTA. You can’t go to a foreign place and get angry that they don’t follow your culture. She need to stop forcing her own rules in a foreign place. It’s literally just a word, and it’s not even an offensive slur. ######

I share a house with 4 people, we are all in college. I before we moved in, I bought a new receiver so I could listen to my music through these larger speakers I had recently acquired. The receiver has Bluetooth capability so naturally we all connect to listen to music, which I had no problem with, all I asked is that after they disconnect after they use it so if I want to use it and they’re not, it will connect to my phone, they never do, ever. Yesterday I finally hit a breaking point and told them to disconnect to the Bluetooth because i am never able to connect because one of their phones always is. They start banning me from all their stuff and eventually I just leave because I was so mad. ######

NTA. You bought it for *you*. Its not fair that they use it so often that you never get a chance to use *your own* property. ######

Me and the gf decided to watch an episode of this show we are watching and about 30mins in I go to check my phone to reply to a message and she slaps the phone out of my hand on to the bed. I huffed and said can she not do that and as soon as I picked the phone up she did it again. I got annoyed and said to her sternly I did not like that she did that and she thought I wasn't being serious the first time and said it was just a joke. I told her I didn't find it funny because I was just replying to a message and also she could damage the phone. She said I was just mindlessly scrolling through my phone and that I'm being ridiculous if I think her slapping my phone could actually break it because we were on the bed. She's now sad because I flipped at her about it and that I'm over reacting because she can't understand how I don't find it funny. AITA? ######

NTA. You asked her to stop, she didn't. Also, when is it ever okay to slap things out of people's hands? And lastly, it doesn't take a genius to figure out the *slap* itself probably wouldn't break the phone, but knocking it out of your hand and it hitting a hard surface, would. C'mon. ######

So my husband and I currently live in an apartment, but we’ve been looking to move into a house so that we can have kids, and they would get a yard and all that comes with a house. We’ve found a house that meets most of our criteria, but there is one problem. The house is ancient. It was built in the 1800s, and it still only had a wood furnace and wood stove. Meaning that we would have to cook on a wood stove. Our agreement is that I cook 4/7 days a week, he cooks 2/7 and we get takeout or eat out for one. But he’s pretty lazy about keeping up his side of that and I don’t really mind cooking so it’s more like I cook 5 or 6 days and we get takeout one. I’m not resentful of that, he has a much more intensive job and is tired at the end of the day, but it does mean I feel I should get more say when it comes to what we have to cook on. The reason this house is good for us is it’s cheap for the area while not being too small. But if we move I want to upgrade the stove to gas or electric(probably electric as the house doesn’t have gas). He says it’s a waste of money and ruins the charm of the house. I do not want to deal with the hassle of cooking on a wood stove. I can put up with the furnace, although that’s annoying too, I have enough to worry about while cooking, I don’t want to try and keep the fire at the right heat to cook on. I said if we don’t replace the stove then I wouldn’t be cooking. He said it’s unfair and he’s just trying to save money. It’s not going to hurt us too much to replace the stove, we’re buying the house full cash, and will have enough leftover. AITA? ######

NTA. Wood stoves are very cool. They're also utterly impractical for every day cooking in the 21st century. ######

I (19m) am living at home with my parents right now because of my campus's closing and have no real expenses while quarantined since they pay for most of our food, and my brother (25m) is home from medical school now too. I am making a fair amount of money tutoring students remotely over the summer, and I was told today by my mom and dad today that I should give my brother the money I'm making to help him pay down some of his undergrad student loans. Their argument is as follows. His undergrad cost a lot because his school was private, but mine cost very little because mine was public. His med school finances are a separate issue. Basically, if it wasn't for his "mistake" of taking on so much debt first, I wouldn't have known to make the smart choice of saving myself from it. To be clear, my brother has helped me to pay for things like a car and a computer, but I have paid him back each time. He has helped me out when he did not have to do so before, then, but it seems like I'm being punished ultimately for making a better choice early on. I think my parents really want to help fix his problems, and I think he is pretty nervous about money himself, but I don't understand it to be my moral obligation to support him. Furthermore, I did not enjoy the perks that he did from going to a more expensive school. So finally, I told them I would not give him the money that I am making this summer. AITA? ######

NTA. Why are you the one being asked to help him out? You're 19 for pete's sake, you are not olbigated to help him out with something he took on as his own responsibility. If he needs help he should go to his parents, even then they aren't obligated, no one is but him. I hate these posts where people make out that you have to help your family out money wise, you do not, it's their life and they will take responsiblity. ######

Last week my in-laws and a few other family members decided to hold an intervention for my husband without my knowledge. They invited themselves over for tea and as soon as they were alone with my husband they started the intervention. Except this intervention was for his "gaming addiction". They essentially made a mockery of interventions and it looked like some sketch from a comedy channel. They talked about how bad video games are and how my husband is being desensitized to violence. My teenage daughter has struggled with substance abuse in the past and has had an intervention for it. The whole situation upset my daughter and she left the house to go stay with a friend for some time. I then went and broke up their "intervention" and told them to be more sensitive towards my daughter. After they left my husband got upset and said I can't kick people out like that. He said it was just a joke and I need to calm down. I said it clearly wasn't very funny because our daughter doesn't even want to be here for a few days. AITA for reacting like this. ######

NTA. who the hell do they think they are. If they want to do an intervention so badly, don't do it at the person's own home, and certainly not after what happened with your daughter. Your in laws sound entitled ######

I met my biological father 3 years ago (I’m 27 now) and we’ve been mending the relationship. We’ve become close friends and I’ve forgiven him for the mistakes he made leaving in the past. I was formally adopted by my step dad at age 3 and he and my mother have been raising me with my two sisters my entire life. All that aside, my two sisters are angry that I would invite my bio dad to my wedding because they’re concerned that it would upset my step dad. They were both angry that I met my bio dad in the first place because they feel I shouldn’t need anyone else. I understand their concern, but I feel like that’s a convo I should have with my step dad and mom. My sisters getting mad on their behalf just makes me want to elope. AITA? ######

NTA. When my dad got remarried, he gave my sister and me a speech. "I do not have a finite amount of love to give. The amount of love I can feel for people is unlimited, so if I show love to my new wife, or to her kids or family, that does not mean that I love you any less." Love is not a finite resource. You can love your stepdad all the same and open yourself up to new people. A relationship with your bio-dad doesn't change the relationship you had with your step-dad. There is no competition. The only competition that exists is in the minds of the petty and jealous. ######

Not too much to say, but she wants to lose weight and I keep telling her not eating isnt the way to go, she needs to just eat the right type of foods and exercise. But shes really mad that I dont want her to only have water for 20 days to lose weight. AITA? ######

Nta. What she's doing is extremely dangerous and can kill her. ######

Today, my dad decided to pick up Popeyes for lunch today. He asked me(16) and my sister (12) and my mom if we wanted chicken. I said yes, my mom said yes, but my sister said she wasn’t hungry, no. So my dad decided to get fries and 10 chicken wings. Fast forward to when there was one chicken left. I took it, and started eating. My sister ate more than half of the fries and one whole chicken wing after saying she wasn’t hungry. So she asked me if she could have the wing, but I said no, she had a bunch of fries, and a wing after saying she didn’t want any. So I have her a generous amount of chicken. She ate it, but still got mad at me for not giving her the whole chicken. She called me a “greedy swine”, and cursed me out in front of my parents, and stormed away. AITA? ######

NTA. What did your sister expect? She clearly said she doesn't want any food and then gets angry after she's not given said food? That's just ridiculous ######

Fiancé (24M) and I (24F) recently got engaged. We are in the very early planning stages. Recently the topic of dress shopping came up. Fiancé asked if his mom would be invited. I said no. I’ve always envisioned it with my mom and maybe an aunt or two, especially the one that is my godmother and has no daughters. Fiancé seemed offended and thinks his mom will be too. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but his mom is pretty blunt and I don’t want any harsh opinions on that day. I don’t want to be one of those brides like on Say Yes to the Dress who brings too many people with her and they all have different opinions and then it’s really hard to get a dress. I don’t even plan on inviting my maid of honor. Everything else about wedding planning involves making sure everyone else is happy and having fun, as it should be, so I think this one thing should be special and just for me. I think who I bring should be my choice. So AITA? TLDR: fiancé wants me to invite his mom to go wedding dress shopping. I said no, I’ve always thought it would just be me and my mom and maybe an aunt or two. I think this should be my choice. He’s offended. AITA? ######

NTA. Wedding dress shopping is stressful. I know from experience. The more opinions, the more stressful it gets. I also do think it is a special mother-daughter moment, that maybe you want with just your own mother. If you do feel you need to appease her...I went wedding dress shopping a variety of times. Once with a friend, once with another, and once with my mom. Maybe you could go and try on some dresses just to appease her. It could be fun. But not necessarily have to pick out “the dress”. There are so many other wedding activities she could be involved in, if you wanted her to be.. it doesn’t have to be just that one (Picking or making party favors? Picking a song Mother-Son dance? Cake testing?) Lord knows there’s a lot that goes into the wedding. She could be involved in other things too (of course, only if you want her to be) ######

She decided to put away a bottle of edibles in the pantry, then they somehow were moved to the dinner table. It's a pastel pink colored bottle. The kids could easily mistake them for candy. I have pre teens and 2 younger kids. My one year old was able to open the bottle with ease. Thankfully none of the kids consumed any. I yelled at her quite harshly because I'm exhausted from work all week and am very irritable when sleepy. I told her they need to be in the medicine cabinet or somewhere more secure. You don't just leave any kind of drug just accessible to kids. She's now mad at me for yelling at her....... Simple as that. ######

NTA. Usually I might lean ESH for the yelling but in this instance I believe it was warranted. That was incredibly reckless for her to do. Edit: ESH Yelling in front of your kids isn’t cool, and the more you describe it the more you seem to be borderline bragging about how angry and loud you got. ######

My parents always think im a careless person like sometimes i forgot bring my wallet, forget where i place my key. They always remind me anything , always lock the door before going out, and i never forget to lock the door so why always remind me of that. sometimes people forget, its normal i think. They almost regulate everything in my life including my daughter, for example my daughter (Chloe) throwing tantrum dont want to take a bath, and i just want to trick her to take a bath with my way and it may take some time to beg her to take a bath. Not with my mom, she want my daughter immediately take a bath like forcing her , and chloe will cry out loud. I prefer to beg her to take a bath than to calm her down when she cry. So im moving to new house with my wife after 3 years living with my parents. they ask me to install CCTV in my house considering me and my wife are working so the house can be monitored online. The problem is my parents want to have access on my CCTV too. They said to prevent me from being careless like forget to turn off the gas stove or leaving it while cooking something and help monitoring my house. I feel like i dont have my privacy if they can monitoring my house everytime. so i lied to them that it can only monitored by one phone, so since i already added it to my phone, i cant set it to another phone. AITA here? ######

NTA. This would be a huge violation of your privacy, and a huge sign of disrespect, both to you and your wife. If they genuinely think you're a danger to your family, then a CCTV isn't going to help. ######

My GF (30f) and I (29m) have been together for 8 years. She recently made some new friends online. She is now asking if one of her new friends (18m) can move in with us. For a little background, without going too deep, my girlfriend is on disability and cant really leave our home on her own. I, by and large, am the breadwinner of the household. However, we consider both incomes shared money. I make a decent living, but not great and money still gets tight. We currently live in a one bedroom apartment and would need to move to a two bedroom in the same building to accommodate her friend. Her friend lives with his parents in another state and is the subject of abuse. She says she knows this friend really well, albeit through online and phone interactions, but I don’t at all. AMITA, that after considering the whole situation I still can’t get get behind him coming to stay with us? Edit: To clarify a few things that have been mentioned, she met the guy via online games. The abuse is physical and verbal, she has heard it over the phone. According to the friend it is pretty extreme abuse, full punches etc... ######

NTA. This just *screams* bad idea. You'd all have to move to a new apartment to have an 18 year old kid move in. And how long have they been talking to each other exactly? Not very long I bet. I would be completely against it. She doesn't actually know this guy. ######

Background: me (f22) and my fiancé (m23) are getting married in a couple of days and we had a move in scheduled for tomorrow, we already had a moving van scheduled and our bed and sofa delivery timed to come before our wedding so we can sort out the house out and move in on our wedding day. I received a suspicious email this morning saying our tenancy agreement has been voided, I called up and asked why and they said it was a error. They later called me ten mins later and informed me that we can’t collect the keys tomorrow , she told me straight that the flooring is undone the toilet hasn’t been fitted and the inspector said that the sink is in the middle of the kitchen floor. When they told me that it clicked as to why they voided our contract, I’m a law student so I know they have breached their contract as they are unable to fulfill their promise, I told them they was trying to save their ass by deleting our contract off the server and they are in fact legally liable to reimburse us for the expenses we have incurred (moving van and furniture delivery), she told me there is a property available immediately on a different development however the rent is more expensive. I got a pretty good grade in my contract law exam so when she told me they aren’t liable to reimburse me I told them they’re liable to my partner since he signed it the fact I didn’t doesn’t exclude the fact they are contractually liable to my fiancé. Also if they can’t honour our contract they need to give us the slightly more expensive property for the same price we agreed to our initial one. Anyways they point blank said no and they will get the property ready for next week. I said if they don’t get it ready for by Monday latest I will sue them and I know I have solid ground? AITA for throwing the book at them and threatening. This is the 2nd time they’ve pushed back out move date. ######

NTA. This is cut and dry, they failed to uphold their end of a signed contract. That's what contacts are for. ######

I feel so awkward I’m new to this office and quite younger (recent grad) than my boss and coworkers- they are mid 30s I’m 22. The boss said our team should bond and have a team lunch - so we all meet up there and it’s a place where you build your own bowl. My boss is in the middle of us and tells the workers to just put everything on her card. Fast forward - we all eat lunch (6 of us) and at the end I was the only one to say thank you for lunch and everyone looked and she looked a little surprised and said “you’re welcome”. Now I am realizing I think she probably just put it on her card to make it faster and was expecting us all to pay her back via cash or Venmo. I feel really stupid. She never said it was her treat so I should have known better and now I’m wondering do I apologize days later or let it go but if I let it go AITA? ######

NTA. This is a pretty reasonable assumption to make. Nearly every time I've gone out for a team lunch with my boss across the past three jobs, they've paid. I wouldn't worry about it. ######

okay,so me(15f) got a phone last year, and ever since then my mom and my grandma are forcing me to tell them my password,my grandma always tries to snoop around my phone and check all the photos... I dont take my phone everywhere,i dont take my phone to school as it is not allowed.my mom says that whenever there is no battery on her phone and she needs to talk to somebody,then she can use mine so she wants to know my password...but I'm 1000% sure she uses it for watching shows,youtube and complete the mobile data i have on my phone,she also doesn't login into her account so everything she watches comes up in my youtube account.It's annoying. My grandma tries to snatch my phone and see what i have in it even though i warned her not to.my mom and my grandma argue with me for not telling them my password.i dont want them to know every single thing i do. I genuinely think that I'm not TA for it cuz u know,...privacy but I'm having second thoughts, AITA for it? ######

NTA. This is a one way ticket to never telling them anything when you're older, and is completely disrespectful of your personal space. ######

I guess the question isn’t if I’m an asshole for just being on the site in general. It’s more like, I hold the guys I meet on there accountable for the things they promised. For this not familiar with it, but the site is for younger girls to meet older men who are willing to date in exchange for money. It’s not straight up prostitution, I’ve been on plenty of dates and never had sex. But most of the dates don’t even happen, it’s just talking on the phone and communicating for a bit. The issue I have run into EVERY TIME is that when it’s time to send money or when I ask for a gift, they act like I’m some gold digger. Am I? Probably. But it’s MORE than apparent what my intentions are. I’m 24 years old chatting with 60 year old men and they are shocked that I’m not doing this for free. A couple of them have gone off on me for being “such a slut” when ALL I’m doing is asking for the things they promised, so AITA? ######

NTA. They're just cheap and trying to get what's clearly advertised at a cost, for free. Or maybe they're delusional enough to think they can so charm you that you won't be able to resist waiving your fee. And you already know what the name calling is about..salty when they realize they're not that charming. Fuck em. ######

I am a graduate student in Illinois. I sometimes hang out with a few international students from India and Pakistan. I was invited to go to a local Indian restaurant to eat with 5 friends. When we arrived at the restaurant we ordered food. It seemed like most of the table ordered food to share instead of just for themselves. I just ordered for myself as that is what I normally do when I go out to eat. During the course of the meal, several of the people offered to share some of their food with me. At the time, I thought it was so I could try new food. I initially declined saying "I would like to eat just my food". As the evening continued the friends continued to ask me to try their food. After the fourth time asking, I agreed. As we left one of the friends said she would pay for the table and we would pay her back. A few days later, I was asked to pay $35 for my portion of the bill. The total bill for the table was $75. My meal was $15. What happened was they expected me to pay half of everything I tried. Which I thought was unfair due to them offering it to me several times. I asked my friend about this and was told that is what they do. I paid what I was told I owed but came across as very annoyed about it during the discussion about it. I told them that since I was offered the food I should not be expected to pay it. What do you guys think? Is it simply a cultural or communication issue? ######

NTA. They took advantage of you. Cultural or not, that is just wrong. Sorry you have shitty friends. ######

This happened years ago but I was recently thinking about it and got mad all over again. I’ve talked about it to and there’s some people that think I was in the wrong so I figured I’d ask reddit for your opinion. When I was 18 I started working at a pet store. I felt I was a good employee. Honest and hard working. They didn’t like that I didn’t pressure people into financing dogs though. I still did my job and sold a fair of animals. After a few months it started to wear on me because of how horrible the animals were treated. At least one of the dogs or cats was sick at all times and one even died. So I started looking for a new job. I eventually found one at a gas station and put in my two weeks notice. The issue was that I put in the notice the day before I went on vacation for two weeks because my husband was coming home on leave from Iraq. They told me if I didn’t actually work those two weeks then it wouldn’t count and I would not ever be able to work there again. I had put in for vacation time a month ahead of time so my shifts were already covered. Since the point of two weeks notice is to give them time to hire someone else, why would it matter if I actually worked those two weeks or not? Anyway, when my husband got home we moved an hour away from the gas station I was working at so I had to quit. I was desperate for a job and there was another location of that pet store near our new apartment so I figured I’d try. They definitely communicated with the other location and refused to hire me. ######

NTA. The two week's notice is really more of a courtesy so your employer has time to fill the vacancy; whether or not you're on vacation is besides the point. ######

I(f18) have always been uncomfortable with my mom(f53) posting pictures of me and information about me on Facebook. She’s been doing it for over 10 years and posts multiple times a day. Any time she would take a picture of me I would try to cover my face or make a shitty face so she couldn’t post it. Her Facebook has a lot of private information and really horrible, ugly photos of me on it. It even has pictures of me naked when I was young. I’m extremely uncomfortable with all this information being out there for anyone to see especially since I’m about to join the work force. Ive talked with her about it before but she only agreed to stop tagging me in posts (without deleting the old ones she tagged me in) and continues to attach my name to the images. WIBTA if I told her to delete everything she has of me off face book or to delete the account altogether. ######

NTA. The pictures have you in them, and you didn’t give your consent to be posted online. If she refuses, you can report them to Facebook and they can remove them. ######

I'm 21f and I'm married to my beautiful wife in December. We been together since eighth grade and engaged. In the end of November, she got diagnosed with cancer and her job's health insurance wasn't the best. The company I work for has better health insurance. The only way I can get her on my health insurance if I married her. So we went to the courthouse and got married. We decided to still act engaged and planning a wedding in December since we both love winter wonderland theme. Someone in my family found out and posted on social media. Everyone is mad and stressing out my wife who is on chemotherapy. I told everyone the reason and please stop stressing out my wife. Am I the asshole? ######

NTA. The douche canoe who outed your marriage on Social media is an A1 Asshole, and your family is pretty shitty for not being understanding. After you explained the situation to your family, did they calm down or continue to be dicks about it? ######