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Both of my parents have been on an extended visit since. I also have an 18 month old daughter which they want to help look after, which sounded cool at first, but here’s the catch, every morning and throughout the day, they both get completely stoned off their asses and are, what I would consider, WAY too careless with my daughter. From today alone: -Dad took my daughter downstairs to play, then stopped paying attention and she climbed up the stairs all by herself. We have baby gates on both ends of the steps, so, the gate was left open and she was ignored long enough to make it up 2 flights of steps. -Mom decided she wanted to cook on the stove and was completely oblivious to my daughter reaching up to the stovetop almost grabbing a hot pan. Luckily I was there and hollered at her before she could. -Mom was holding my daughter and tried to pass her to my dad, and “something” happened where my daughter kicked over a cup of coffee onto my wife’s Nintendo switch, completely bricking it. They both refused any responsibility and tried to blame the 18 month year old. Their completely baked indifference about ruining my wife’s Switch literally brought her to tears, but that could also be the hormones from her being 7 months pregnant. -When they went to the down stairs living room, they left the baby gate open, luckily I was paying attention when she swung it open, and stopped her from trying to fall down the steps. I finally said something just now to my mom about it, when my wife went to the store. I was calm, but very matter of fact and direct. She got super defensive. I tried my absolutely hardest to be chill and not be accusatory, but can tell I still hurt her feelings. I just want my parents to not smoke so much when she’s supposed to be caring after my daughter. I don’t feel like this is an unreasonable demand. AITA? TLDR: Mom and Dad smoke too much weed and I don’t want them watching my toddler unless they dial it back. AITA? ######

NTA It's past time for your parents to leave. It's better that their feelings are hurt, than for something terrible happen to your wife or children. Suppose your wife went into premature labor? They would insist that they be allowed to watch your toddler, and you might be tempted to acquiesce. Get them out ASAP. It's too much stress on your wife to supervise your parents now, and it definitely will be when your other child is born. They need to leave. Today. ######

I often go the local park to study/read a book etc. There’s this apartment complex near the park and people living there have a direct view of the park. Yesterday I was chillin when this woman who lives in the apartment came up to me. She asked me if I could move to another spot. I asked her why and she said that I was “distracting” her husband. I was confused and at first didn’t even understand what she meant by that. She was SUPER vague but clarified that her husband does “*what men do*” and that I should go somewhere else. So at this point I was pretty disgusted. I replied that I wouldn’t move and put my headphones on again. She got very irritated and said that I should respect other people’s wishes and “do the right thing”. Then she said that I come to the park too often and that I should consider other people’s marriage. Apparently she discussed this with other women in the apartment and they agree with her. I told her that I don’t care about anybody’s marriage and that her husband is probably a porn addict if he can’t handle the sight of a female stranger in public. Well that clearly pissed her off because she was seething with anger. She said that her husband doesn’t watch porn and called me a “sick, twisted little girl” for even suggesting that. I told her that she was making me really uncomfortable but she was STILL attacking me over the porn addict comment. She kept repeating that he doesn’t watch porn & that he’s not interested in me and not to flatter myself. Afterwards she left but not before telling me that I will “face consequences” sooner or later. I told my friend about it and she thinks I’m an AH for accusing the woman’s husband of being a porn addict. She said that it was very disrespectful and that she understands why the woman got so upset. And she added that I shouldn’t upset a crazy person since I can’t predict what she might do. Am I the AH here? ######

NTA It's not your job to cater to creepy men and their insecure wives. Also, she's actually more offended at the idea that her husband would ever watch porn than the idea that her husband watches strange women in parks enough for it to be a distraction??? Also, your friend sucks. ######

English it's not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes. My mom has a long history of debts, she has loans with multiple people. When my grandmother or someone gave her money to save, she always spends it. Last year my grandma gave her to save a big amount of money and she spent it, when my grandma asked for the money she didn't have it, so she had to ask multiple loans to repay de money. Besides she owns a school but since the quarantine started a lot of parents don't want to pay even when the teachers are giving them activities. (I'm from Mexico) so she's also having a hard time paying to the teachers. Two years ago we used to live in our own house but she lost because of the debts. I work from home, thankfully I didn't lost my job, so I used to help her pay the rent, but she made a loan on my name(I didn't grab any of the money, it was all for her) and she isn't paying it so I'm doing it, since then I haven't been giving her money to pay the rent. But I'm helping her to buy all the groceries that we need. My sister does help her with the rent and supports her sometimes to pay a part of her debts. With my salary sometimes I buy myself things I like, like clothes or things I see on the internet. This morning I was telling my sister I wanted to buy a curling iron, and my grandmother told me I should stop buying things, and give all that money to my mother. And I told her that I do gave her money and help her in the house. (My grandmother it's also paying some of the loans of my mom, and in the pass she even had to mortgage her home to help her, she is still paying that mortgage) So AITA for refusing to give my mother more money? ######

NTA It's not up to you to get her out of debt, especially as she took a loan out in your name which shes making you pay back. You're not her parent. Get free of her as soon as you can or you'll spend your life bailing her out. ######

Now I know the title seems harsh, but hear me out. Me and my best friend of about 14 years (let’s call her Amy) are as a close as two peas in a pod. Because of this, we like to think of ways that we could “roast” each other. Now I want to make a few things clear: 1. There are strict boundaries about what we do and do not joke about (for example it is more than fine to take a piss out of my nose, but the death of my granpa is a no-no zone.) 2. If a joke hurt one of us, we express that, which is usually followed by a apology and a talk about boundaries if the person wishes to do so. 3. All of our mutual friends know it and pay it no mind. Recently, a new person came into out group (let’s call them Alex). They’ve been introduced to out group dynamics, and they’re been told about Amy’s and mine banter. It’s all been fun and games, however one day I get an email from my head of my class to come and talk to her. I went, and apparently someone reported me for bullying Amy. This took a good week to solve, and both me and Amy had to have numerous conversations with head of class to prove that it’s all chill. I did go to Amy, I asked if I did anything to hurt her. She said no Next time , we’re sitting in a group, I’m telling the story, and Alex says “yeah it might have been me” I got very mad , cause their behavior caused both of us a bunch of trouble. Alex said that they do not like our jokes, so they’ve decided to report me just in case I was hurting Amy. I have decided to cut them out, but some friends think that I’m being to harsh. AITA? ######

NTA It's not their job to police your friendship group because they dont like something about it. They can leave, as they are the newbie, not dob you in to the teacher. That is low, and your other friends should cut then out too or at least give them a good talking to. If Alex shows remorse for their actions, then i think you should forgive them, but keep them out if they don't. It's a lot like people getting angry at a comedian for making a joke about a certain group, even though everyone who was the butt of the joke (the people in the group) found it funny. You can't get offended on behalf of someone unless you know *for a fact* that they are offended too ######

Basically, we both agreed it was not the time to have a child, as we’re both still in college, and not financially stable yet for a child. However, despite his immediate suggestion we not tell anyone, when the pregnancy was confirmed (his fear that a friend/family member of mine will convince me to keep it) I later found out he told his parents and brother. I am angry, as I am still coming to terms with accepting what I have done and I feel like he has broken my trust by telling this private matter to anyone. He believes he has a right to tell his family, but it doesn’t make sense to me why because he was more than eager for me to get the abortion and for me not tell my family. Am the the asshole for being upset, and saying he doesn’t have the right to tell? Had the procedure approx. 3 weeks ago Edit: In addition to this, he is constantly saying I’m pregnant, commenting on my body, which not only makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me, as I gained about 20 pounds, which I felt like I have since lost. Almost daily he says he’s stressed or anxious I’m pregnant. Today I finally gave in and took another pregnancy test, (I am on birth control pills and we have not had sex). This for some reason caused me to get extremely upset, and feelings of guilt about the abortion. AITA for getting upset about taking another pregnancy test? Is there something wrong with me Edit: he has since told me he told them, because he needed money. (The abortion was already paid). ######

NTA It's normal to tell your parents when you or your partner gets pregnant. However, since you two had agreed not to tell anyone in this case it was a major betrayal on his part. ######

It’s my Girlfriends birthday weekend. My girlfriend told me to reserve her birthday (Sunday) to devote all my time to her. I obliged... I have some fun and romantic plans for the day. Got a custom cake and a few other goodies. I blocked off Saturday afternoon for her as well for dinner with her family and whatever else. I told her I’m engaging in a hobby of mine I haven’t gotten to do since lock down started on Friday. I got absolutely flamed for not “wanting to spend time with her” even though she never said anything about that day. Am I the asshole for wanting to do my thing instead of spending time with her? ######

NTA it's birth "day", not birth weekend ######

So we have a daughter who turned three in January. Personally, I think she's pretty advanced for her age. She has complex conversations with us and can even read simple words already. She's now home with us all day while we work because of recent events. She's definitely getting more screen time than we would normally allow because we have to work, and she discovered Scooby-Doo. I bought her the first two seasons of the original version of the show that began in 1969. ("Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?") At the time, my wife didn't say anything, even during the early watching. I was pretty excited because this was one of my absolute favorite shows when I was her age, and it kind of still is. However, my wife has decided that my daughter is no longer allowed to watch Scooby-Doo. She is concerned that the scenes are too anxiety-inducing for a child my daughter's age. I've spoken with my daughter and she seems to clearly understand the monsters are just pretend people in costumes as gets revealed at the end of each episode. She hasn't had any nightmares or anything like that. She's always laughing at Scooby's antics during the episodes. And she likes to pretend now that she's Daphne as she goes around the house. Now that my wife has said she can't watch Scooby, my daughter is pretty upset. She loves the show and is constantly begging to watch it now. I typically present a united front with my wife, and I've been doing so and not letting her watch the show now. But I have told my daughter that if she can convince Mommy I'll let her watch the show. I'm having a tough time reconciling that there's anything wrong with watching Scooby-Doo and taking ownership for the decision not to let her watch it. AITA? ######

NTA It's a TV-G series! I can imagine her banning Courage the Cowardly Dog for some intense horror moments, but Scooby-Doo is harmless. Next, you'll be telling me she lets her watch Spongebob... ######

Preface: So, I (16M), have been saving up some money to purchase a new laptop. Specs are very good (2070 ti, i7 10th gen, 16gb ram, etc.) and I use it for school, gaming, and 3d modeling. So the laptop costs $1500 USD, and I currently have $1660 in my bank account. Currently the laptop is out of stock until July 15, but you can pre-order it. My mom had bought a laptop as a gift two Christmases ago, and it doesn't run certain things well, specifically the 3d modeling software I use. My stepdad however needs a new laptop for doing some stuff for his work , so I'm looking for a new one. My mom doesn't want me getting a new laptop because, "I already have one that works." I explained to her that I was planning on giving it to my stepdad, and she didn't say anything about that. So here I am finding the perfect laptop for my purposes, and as I'm about to buy it my mom stops me. She explains that she would rather us use her credit card so she could get points on it, and I agree. She says she will buy the laptop for me and then I would transfer the money to her account. So it's been 5 days since she said she would buy it, and I'm getting kinda annoyed. I know it's not in stock for a while, but I would like to have my order be filled first. So I've been slowly increasing the pressure on my mom to buy it. TL:DR : I have saved money for a laptop. Mom wants to use credit card, and then transfer the money into her account. It's been 5 days and I'm slowly increasing the pressure on her to buy it. AITA? ######

NTA It's a logical thing that you first want the goods bought before transferring a chunk of money especially since you've saved for it. Info: would she take money from you to set an example as to listen to her? ######

Since getting engaged, my fiancé and I have been struggling to nail down the basics, including the venue and of course, the date. Our families both have pretty busy schedules and finding a date that suited both families and was in the reasonable future has been quite challenging. Fortunately, finally settled on January 30, 2021 (COVID permitting), one of the very few weekends that both our families are available to travel and attend our wedding. The only slight conflict with the date is that my grandmother’s birthday is the following Tuesday, on February 2nd. My grandmother lives pretty far from my immediate family and myself, and even when I was growing up we didn’t celebrate her birthday beyond a phone call. However, since the wedding date we picked is so close to her birthday, my mom is insisting that we make our wedding reception a split party between our reception and my grandmother’s birthday party. She wants to have a separate cake for my grandmother beside the wedding cake and everything. I love my grandmother, but our wedding reception will also have my fiancé’s family, our college friends, and work friends in attendance who have never met my grandmother. None of her friends will be there and I feel like it would be weird to celebrate her birthday with a bunch of strangers. Also, not to be self centered, but I kind of want my wedding day to be about me and my fiancé, particularly since we’re the ones paying for the venue, food, and entertainment. I want my grandmother to feel celebrated and loved, but I also want to have my special wedding day. So, AITA for telling my mother no and that we should celebrate my grandmother separately? I don’t want to be a bridezilla, so I’m willing to negotiate, but I just feel super weird about it. ######

NTA It would be lovely to have a lunch the following day to celebrate her or even the day before, but your wedding reception that you are paying for is not a free-for-all family event celebration day. ######

I was supposed to go on a trip with my best friend next year, just the two of us and we'd both been saving for it. I have a credit card that rewards me airmiles and I've been using it exclusively for the past year to get a free ticket and airmiles. We now get to travel for the price of 1 ticket instead of 2 and we get to go business class so we've saved about £1,000 each. He's suddenly decided to invite his GF, knowing full well then we don't get along. This was annoying enough and made me not want to go on the trip but now he's expecting me to use my free ticket and airmiles to make it cheaper for her as well. I don't like her in the slightest and want to go o a trip with my best friend. As that's not happening I told him I'm not going to use my airmiles for him and her and will travel solo if she's coming. She's an awful person and being in the same car as her is bad enough, let alone a 12+ hour flight and then 10 days on holiday. Now he's calling me an asshole because I'm making him choose between a cheap trip together, or her. ######

NTA It was planned to be the two of you and he just invited his girlfriend without asking you ######

This happened pre-Carona, but my sister still brings it up bitterly. My sister (f27) and I (m24) had an old high school friends get together last Christmas period. We went to a small high school, so we hung around the same circles back in the day. I was there with my boyfriend, it was late in the evening, we were all drunk and rowdy and sex jokes were being thrown around, my boyfriend made a joke that implied anal sex. Everyone laughed, except my sister. She scowled and said, "You shouldn't talk about that, it's disgusting." Uncomfortable silence. I laughed put an arm around her and said maybe if she had more "unconventional" kinds of sex, maybe she wouldn't have ended up with four kids in her mid-20s. I admit, it was a bit mean, but it broke the awkward tension so people could laugh and move on from her weird comment. The next day she went off at me for saying that. She told our parents and other siblings, removed from the context. She says she won't ask me to babysit anymore since I think so little of her children (who I adore, I love being an uncle.) Overall, I think she's far over-reacted. And it wasn't an unfounded joke. My sister complains about having kids all the time. She wishes she was older to have them. Every pregnancy she breaks down crying. She always talks about missed opportunities etc. And she's extremely "pro-life", picketed outside abortion clinics and everything. My parents and family are not at all. She's gone through every pregnancy acting as a martyr, sacrificing her youth and body to do her duty. This annoys the fuck out of me. TL;DR told my rude sister that if she had tried anal once in a while she could have avoided having so many unwanted kids ######

NTA It was clearly a joke said among friends. She obviously feels some type of way about the way her life turned out and is taking those feelings out on you. I'm sure she saw the joke as a jab at her, but it's a joke. Even offensive/true jokes can be funny. Sometimes you have to be able to laugh at yourself. ######

Good luck with your new job. I hope you got the landlords permission for the lock as this is a joint tenancy, did you think I was going to still your spider man toys? Either way I'm not bothered except it looks awful and you should have asked/done a decent job of it. Anyways, hope everything goes well with your job (The lock is perfectly lined up, fits the door flush to the edges of the door frame, and there isnt a single scuff mark around it) Am I the arsehole for not asking his permission to install a lock on my room? Or is he the arsehole for not bringing it up until after left for 3 months? I feel like he should be happy to have a 3 bedroom house to himself for 3 months while I'm still paying full rent. ######

NTA It sounds, to me, like he planned to have friends over to use your room or is offended that you felt it necessary to lock him out. This isn't truly about how the lock looks. ######

For context, I’ve always tried really hard at school and been for the most part an A-/A student- by no means perfect grades but generally good grades. My brother on the other hand straight up doesn’t try at all. He’s really smart so in some classes he gets B+’s (considering how little he tries and the fact that there are large assignments that he neglects to turn in, this is pretty impressive) but there are also many classes that he’s more in the C/C- range. My parents try to force him to do his work and they’ve gotten him tutors and stuff but my brother either refuses to get tutored or doesn’t pay attention, wasting time and money. The thing is, now that we’re doing online learning, my parents have basically given up trying to enforce any rules on him whatsoever. They still force me to store all of my devices in the kitchen in the night bc “blue light is harmful to sleep” but they don’t care at all that my brother is staying up past 2am playing video games with his friends. Where the disagreement comes in is tonight, I was feeling stressed and I wanted to watch Netflix on my computer before bed. This started an argument between my mom and I because she was refusing to let me keep my computer in my room *just that once* while at that moment my brother was playing video games with his friends. My mom said that it was unreasonable for me to be upset because my brother and I are “going on different paths in life and so she treats us a little differently” which I understand to some extent and am usually very accepting of (this device thing isn’t the only disparity in the way we’re treated it’s just the one relevant to this story) but it just felt like such a blatant double standard that my mom wasn’t giving me this little bit of leeway in something that my brother is allowed to do literally every day. AITA? ######

NTA It sounds like your parents have wrote off your brother in terms of academics and are cutting him a lot more slack because of it. They probably have much higher expectations where you're concerned but not allowing you a bit of slack is extremely unfair. ######

My brother (16M) and I (18F) regularly refer to each other as “Dude”, “Boy”, Bro”, “Man”, “My guy”, etc. That’s just how we naturally talk to each other in conversations and my mom hates it because my brother “shouldn’t be using masculine words like dude” to describe me and a “proper lady” shouldn’t use words like “bro” and “dude”, etc. She said that it’s trashy, low class, and “below us”. We’ve tried to change the way we talk around her so we don’t get scolded but she still gives us a funny look when it slips out sometimes. She also HATES it when she calls our names from far away in the house and sometimes we answer “Yeah?” Instead of “Yes?”. It’s a habit that’s hard to break because we talk to everyone else in my family along with friends like that and they don’t mind it. She’ll always say, “Don’t say “yeah” to me, it’s disrespectful. I’m your mother. Start over.” And she’ll ignore me until we say “yes.” It gets her SO worked up that it’s hard not to laugh sometimes but I don’t want to offend her if it can be taken by others the wrong way. So am I wrong here? Idk if older adults see it differently but is saying words like “Yeah” and “Dude” offensive or disrespectful? I didn’t mean anything bad by it. ######

NTA it sounds as though she just likes to find things to berate you over, to feel she has some form of “control” ######

I work remotely (all the time, not just because of COVID-19). I make over two-thirds of our household income and am generally really busy during working hours. My husband is currently “working from home”, but his job is such that he doesn’t have to actually do anything. He’s been sleeping until noon, playing video games, smoking weed, and going out to do fun things with friends. A lot of mornings I’ll be at my computer working and he will come in and want me to take a “sex break”. I don’t like doing this - I’m only a few months into my job and some of my responsibilities are time sensitive. I also struggle to enjoy sex when I know I should be doing something else so it would end up as me providing sex for him (which is not uncommon in our relationship, really). I usually tell him I’m working and then he will watch me and if I do so much as look at my phone while I’m waiting for something at work he will say something like “oh you’re soooo busy” and get grouchy. I’m really, really annoyed by this and have told him that I can’t just fuck off from my job to have sex with him. I’ll offer to have sex later when I get off work, but by then he’s usually off fishing or high. AITA? ######

NTA It seems like your husband isn't grasping that you actually need to work because he's also 'working from home' and doesnt seem to be doing much from your account. He needs to realise that covid-19 isn't a holiday and you still have deadlines ######

I (29f) am pregnant with my first child and due to give birth in November. My BIL and his fiancée have planned to have a wedding during this time (roughly 2 weeks after my due date) and I’m super excited for them! However they have huge plans in place, with over 100 guests. The argument started when each family member was assigned a certain wedding task. Mine was to ensure the guests walked out with their ‘thank-you’ gifts (which is to be segregated by age & gender). This would involve initiating small talks and bidding adieus to guests, coordinating with the gifting committee etc. I said that there is no way I would be able to do this after giving birth only 2 weeks earlier and this sounded ridiculous. I offered to do the excel work- sorting names, addresses and gifts but this idea was also shot down. In a short while, the argument took another direction and my in-laws went off saying that I’m being an impossible woman and exaggerating my pregnancy woes and that there are thousands of women who give birth everyday and go to work right after and this is an excuse to disrespect the family. I said I won’t be attending the wedding if that’s what they think of me. Honestly, I don’t even know how my body would react 2 weeks after giving birth and I’m worried it’s all about the wedding now and not about my health or the child’s. My husband took their side too and I’ve had it with this family! AITA for not wanting to attend this wedding although I love my BIL and his fiancée? ######

NTA It may not even be two weeks after you give birth. It might be two days, or even two hours. It can’t even be guaranteed that you’ll be there. It’s absurd that they’ve given you any task. ######

Backstory my(23F) step father(59M) passed away over 2 years ago suddenly. Prior to his passing my sister(38F) wasn't very active in his life, she wouldn't call, visit, etc... Dad would call her at least twice a week every week and write her letters. The whole family attempted to reach her aswell but she refused to talk with our father. Christmas before he passed she showed up to the house, yelled at him and called him and various family members pretty much every name in the book and said never to contact her again. Fast forward 4 months and our father passed away unexpectedly. She made an appearance at the funeral then she disappeared, and up until a few weeks ago when she showed up at my home out of the blue. Our father had a will, I was listed as in charge of his estate and all of his possessions but he did have very specific possessions in his will to be given to his son(35M) and other daughter(33F). There was also specific instructions that sister(38F) wasn't to be given anything. When she came to my home she handed me a list of our dads possessions that she wanted. Most of the items on the list were already given to the perspective family members, I was just gonna give her some of our fathers motorcycle memorabilia and be done with it. Well she decided that wasn't enough and has been threatening legal action against me stating that my house that our father left to me should be hers and that because she's the oldest that she has legal right to it. After she said this I decided to not give her anything and told her if she came back I'd have her arrested for trespassing. Ever since this encounter a good portion of our family is harassing me for this stating how that because I'm not his real daughter I shouldn't be so greedy towards his possessions and to give my sister some things. My other siblings agree with my decision but a part of me still feels like I'm being an asshole. ######

NTA It is your father's wishes. Your father gets to decide what he gives to whom whether he's a stepfather, or a bio father. Your father decided. Respect that and execute his wishes appropriately. ######

I was brought up as a Muslim and to all intents and purpose I still consider myself as one. I try to follow the religion as best as I can and I figure the disagreements are between me and God. My GF really really loves Ru Paul's Drag race, it's not my thing and I have no interest in it. After this current issue is over, she wants to go to a show and wants me to dress up in drag. I refused, explained it's not my thing and told her to take her friends instead. I thought that was the end of it but she's been bringing it up almost twice a week now and I was getting tired of it. The last time she asked I explained that I wasn't going, that I don't agree with men dressing up as woman and want to not be asked again. I thought that was the end of it, but now I'm getting bombarded by her friends asking why I won't go with some going as far as to call me homophobic. There's a saying in my religion which is pretty much "you have your beliefs and I have mine" which is how I try to live my life. I'm not going to tell someone how they should live their life, I'm not going to insist they change anything; I only have control over my life. I don't want to go, I don't want to dress up in drag; end of. We're not living together at the moment so I'm just ignoring her as I feel it's kinda shitty to try and get her friends to gang up on me. ######

NTA It doesn't matter if you are Muslim or not, you don't want to dress in drag and you shouldn't be bullied, cajoled, pressured or guilted into dressing in drag (or doing anything you are uncomfortable with, for that matter.) I don't understand your gf. Is this her idea of a joke? Is she not comfortable with you being Muslim? She has gone far beyond any ethical standards here...for a drag show? What is her problem? While I think drag shows are fun and campy, my husband does not agree and I'd never ask him to accompany me to one, much less dress in drag himself. ######

I posted that I have a 10g fishtank set up for sale. I’m moving and can’t bring it with. Someone contacted me asking if it was still available. I say yes. They say great, they want to use it for a ten year old red slider turtle. I let them know that this tank is way too small for a turtle (the tank is too small for a goldfish to be kept properly honestly) and that I can’t, in good conscious, sell them the tank. They go off on me saying it “isn’t up to me” to decide how they house their turtle. True, but it isn’t up to them who I sell my fishtank to. I sent them a link to a 100 gallon tank for sale for only $75 and went about my day. ((For reference, red sliders usually get to be 12” long. The tank itself is only 18” long, 10” wide. The thing wouldn’t even be able to turn around. The recommended tabk size for a single turtle is 10 gallons per inch of length. A full sized turtle would need at least 120 gallons.)) AITA for refusing to sell this person a fishtank? ######

NTA It all sounds a little fishy to me. ######

My husband (47m) and I (35f) want a public opinion on my actions today. Obligatory, sorry I'm on mobile disclaimer. This morning I left to get groceries. I packed my car with insulated bags and a cooler with ice. This is my method when I know I'm going to several stores and want to keep cold items as cold as possible. Yesterday a friend told me she was having a bad week so we decided to meet for coffee sometime today. After I left she messaged me and we met for coffee after I left grocery store #1. The coffee shop is in the same town and we sat and talked for 45 minutes before going our separate ways. I went to grocery store #2, grabbed some items and my phone dings asking what I am doing. When I tell my husband I met with my friend for 45 minutes of coffee he starts yelling at me that I am a liar. That I am sneaking around. That I should have known that he and our son were waiting for me to return. I apologized for not telling him about the time the coffee meetup was happening. But, I did tell him yesterday that it was going to happen today. AITA for not telling him about it when it was happening and meeting her during my grocery run? ######

NTA Is this normal behavior for him? You TOLD him you'd be having coffee with this friend. How could that equate to sneaking around in his mind? ######

Title basically says it all, my mother was in control of my grandfather’s assets after his passing since he left no will, and since he didn’t leave a will she sees no issue in giving her new husband my grandfather’s Harley he specifically stated he wanted me to have. Her new husband doesn’t like me and also has no issue taking this bike but apparently I’m in the wrong for feeling like it should have been given to me. AITA? ######

NTA Is there another family member you could talk to that can help you get through to your mom? That’s pretty crappy, sorry. What is she saying? I can imagine she may want to have some connection between her late father and new husband. But she should talk to you and explain her point and so on. It’s not cool if she left you feeling like you don’t matter and could be TA here... I hope you’ve talked to her about her new husband overall, and she’s hopefully taking steps to help y’all build a good relationship. There are tactics and people to help with this stuff. ######

My parents divorced when I was 5, my dad remarried almost immediately (like within months after the divorce) and my mom remarried when I was 9 or 10 can't really remember.  My dad's wife had 4 kids who were at the time 7,5, 3 and 2 while I was 5 when we all moved in together.  Now I didn't live full time with them, I was half at my mom's half at their place and they were the same way and were only together for about 2 weeks out of the month.  It was not a good situation when we first moved in, everything from the time the youngest could walk was always a 4v1.  Every vote was always against mine, every argument with 1 became an argument with all 4, and some other stuff that made me really hate going over to my dad's if they were over.  While my mom's husband had a kid my age too I get along with her WAY better than I do the kids at my dad's house.   I was recently talking with my friend's while I'm at my dad's on the phone, my door was slightly open at the time.  My friend said something like "I didn't know your brother was on the baseball team".  I corrected him and reminded him that he is my step brother not my brother and we dropped the conversation and went on with the rest of the day. When I was done though, my dad told me to quit it with the step sibling stuff and to just call them my siblings.  I told him I'm just being literal in what they are, but he is practically forcing me to call them my brother and sisters now.  AITA? ######

NTA insofar as you were simply explaining to your friend why one wouldn’t realize you had a brother (of any kind) on the team. Not sure what your dad’s deal is. ######

My husband has been rowing on a nearby lake early mornings for about 20 years. This summer he's been going out alone most mornings. He refuses to wear a PFD bc it interfears with his stroke. I have never agreed with this but what can I do? My arguments have failed. My pleas fall on deaf ears. So I gave up. I can not force him to do it. This morning he was late returning from his row. I left to go find him after he was about 20 minutes late for work, an hour later than his usual return time. By this time my mind was going wild with what ifs thinking he was alone on the water. My hopes were answered when I saw him and 2 friends walking up the path. I didn't make a scene, and they all thanked me for checking on them. He did not apologize, he said he was planning to see them and forgot to tell me. He was kinda laughing when he said it. Cue the rage boiling deep... If I'd known he was with friends I wouldn't have worried. At all. All my anxiety and fear turned to rage. When we got home he asked if everything was alright. I said " I can't talk about it right now. I know you have to go to work and I know it's going to turn into a big thing. All my anxiety and fear have turned to rage and I cant even." His response was " alright" and he went upstairs to work. So now he's acting pouty like a victim because I'm having some kind of reaction. I can't think straight and would appreciate hearing what level heads think of this. So reddit, AITA here? ######

NTA Insist on him wearing a flotation device. Perhaps get him a device like the ones this company does https://www.lifejackets.co.uk/Lifejackets-Automatic.htm ######

I've known for a while now that my brother is in prison for something serious and my mother and family friend, who know the whole situation, haven't told me what for because he doesn't want people to know. I've had no reason to care about his screw ups until recently, when I joined the navy with a job that requires a security clearance. At first I didn't care because my recruiter said i would be fine, unless he did something monumentaly stupid, but then at a friend's graduation party the family friend, who knows all, hinted that I should be worried. Once I got home I went online and did a criminal background check on my brother to see if it was going to affect me. I got the check back and, oh boy, let's just say he's not allowed around schools if he ever gets out of prison. I kept it to myself, until he kept calling her during our weekly dinner where he was trying to say things to me and I told her "I don't have a brother, so I don't know who he's talking to", she asked me what I ment and I told her I found out what he did. She was still on the phone with him so he heard that I found out and got mad. My mom got mad too saying things about how I ignored his wishes, went around her back, blah blah blah. I then shot back with something along the lines of, he lost his right to hide things from me the second it could affect my ability to hold a job i want. My mother is now mad at me and isn't talking to me, apparently my brother is mad too, but the family friend who tipped me off is neutral and is the one feeding me info about my mother. Other than that, no family members or friends know about what's going on. AITA for looking into my brothers criminal history after finding out it might affect my ability to get a job i want and being left in the dark about it. ######

NTA In what world does someone like that possibly get to demand it stay quiet? Especially since once he eventually gets out he's probably going to be on a publicly accessible list anyway. And the type of crime aside, as you've said, this was about your career. It is not fair that you could be held back by his illegal actions, and you deserved to know if that was indeed a risk for you. ######

Hi all, this is a throwaway and I don’t really know how this works but I’ve been having an issue with my fiancé and her family. Background: I am a part owner in a pretty upscale American restaurant in the United States. I have been engaged for a little over a year, the virus took a toll in our plans. I have been with my fiancé for a total of 4 years now. She does not have any kids but I have two daughters who live with their mother. Situation: my fiancé’s sister called my fiancé to tell her that her 17 year old son (I’ll call Chris) was taking a girl on a date for the first time, and said they were gonna go to my restaurant. The day came and I was working, they showed up and of course I said hello and talked to them and such. then I left them alone to enjoy their meal, I didn’t say anything to them until they were walking out. I just thanked Chris for coming and said it was nice seeing them. An hour or so went by and I got a text from my fiancé calling me an asshole. I didn’t have time to text and I just told her We can talk when I get home. I got home and she told me she couldn’t believe I didn’t comp the bill for Chris. I said I didn’t know I was supposed to, and she called me a cheapass. She let me know that her sister and mother also thinks I’m an asshole. She called me out for others I’ve comped meals for, including my ex wife (She’s still the mother of my daughters and we aren’t on bad terms, IMO not a big deal). I apologized and I promised I will next time they come in, but apparently the fact that I had to be told makes me an AH. Was it really an AH move to not comp Chris’s food? ######

NTA In no way should anyone ever “expect” to have a meal comped, no matter what the relation. The restaurant is a business and not a place for free food. The fact that it was somehow expected and not offered or discussed in anyway screams entitled. ######

My roommate and his girlfriend have been on and off for quite some time. When they fight and break up, she gets drunk and messages me about how much she hates him, and he tells me how much he hates her. When I dont respond to her, she gets upset and starts disrespecting me with insults. He has told me that she is very vindictive and has stolen jewelry amongst other things from him, and has even made false reports to the police about him abusing her. I've over heard them arguing before and heard her say things like, "I will ruin your fucking life". After learning what kind of person she is, I don't feel comfortable being around her. I cannot tell him who he can and cant have over, but if he is not in the apartment, I do not want to be alone with her. Now that they're back together again, she only comes over on weekends. He sometimes leaves around 330am and she will stay until about 7-8am instead of leaving when he leaves. I have talked to him about this, and he has continued to ignore me and shrug it off. I find it disrespectful. Recently, he got a second job delivering pizza. He left for his shift about a half an hour ago, leaving his girlfriend here. I told him I do not want her here, but he ignore me again. Fed up, I told him I was going to have the police remove her, or I would stop paying my part of the rent. She is gone now. My friends agree with me, but sometimes I feel like they just agree because we are friends. I need some non bias opinions. Am I the asshole? ######

NTA In general you need to be careful leaving guests with your roommate, but adding in the context and you have reason to not want her over at all. ######

I (15F) lost my grandma to coronavirus in the early hours of this morning. We were super close as for 2 years she was bearly able to walk to I came every day after school to cook and clean with my mum going on weekends when she didnt work. My mum was in pieces with my dad trying to make her feel better in any way possible and I had decided not to make it any harder on him because he NEVER cries but did today. I messaged my boyfriend that im gonna call "B". Because B usually makes me feel better about everything that's happened. Well B talked to me for 15 minutes before saying he had to go for 10 minutes. well 5 hours later B came back. When I asked B how he was (I didnt care he was gone for so long) then B had a massive rant at me explaining how he was going through a lot more than me right now and that I should just get over that she dies because old people die every day so its no big deal. I couldn't help but cry. Then B said "my grandad has cancer for the second time that's a lot worse than your grandma dieing" My usual calmness was IMMEDIATELY yeeted out the window at this point. I blew up at B saying things like "at least he isn't f\*\*\*ing dead in a hospital" and "why cant you look on the bright side even though he has cancer at least he isn't dead" and to top it off "id rather my grandma have cancer than be dead right now" I feel like a piece of shit for saying those things. AMTA? ######

NTA In any way shape or form. Grief is never a competition. I'll admit his words may not be coming from a rational place, but it's still no excuse. ######

My brother (18M) and I (21M) got into this argument last night and my sister (16F) took his side so I may be the asshole. My mom is from Colombia and my dad is a white American with some Irish and German ancestry. My siblings and I grew up in North Carolina around my dad's family but we visited my mom's family every summer for 3 weeks. My mom raised us speaking Spanish so we are all bilingual. My college is about 1 hour away from home. I have an on campus apartment. My brother's school is in Florida and he dorms. I found out that my brother is lying about his race. He says that he never tells people that he's part Latino because he doesn't want to be grouped with them. He says that he tells people he's half Italian and half Irish. He has an Italian first name and an Irish last name and brown hair with tan skin so I guess people buy it. He took Italian in high school so he can speak the language well enough. He even joined an Italian Cultural Club on campus. He said it started as an accident. He plays on the club soccer team and one of the guys (white) said something about there being too many Mexicans on the team. He said it to my brother and another (white) friend. The other friend said, "Wait, isn't Marco Mexican?" That is when my brother said he was Italian. We aren't Italian though. Not even a little bit. My brother said that he would rather have people think he's Italian than know he's Latino. He said that the girl that he was hooking up with in college even thinks he's Italian. I told him he's an asshole for lying about his race and pretending to be someone he's not, especially since he didn't mind putting Latino on college applications when he knew it may give him a slight advantage. He said that he can be whoever he wants to be. My sister even said that she doesn't see the problem with it and that I was an asshole for even caring. ######

NTA Im more so interested in how long hes gonna keep this up. Eventually his friends or s.o will meet his family. Im surprised none of them have seen his family on facebook or instagram yet. ######

So since barbershops are closed my son (8yo) hasn't had a hair cut in almost 6 months now. In my own opinion I like his hair long, I always thought he had straight hair but its starting to curl, and he likes it too. My wife's friend is a barber and told us she's willing to cut both our children's hair for free. My daughter has really wanted to get her hair cut cause its pretty long and she wants it a bit shorter. But my son wants to keep his hair, he sometimes complains about hair getting into his eyes but he seems to like it long. I am all for letting him grow that sucker out as much as he wants, but my wife says its a mistake cause when he's in the shower the soap can get in his eyes and could burn him. She also said cause I always get a buzzcut or jarhead look I don't understand the struggles of long hair. AITA? ######

NTA If your son likes it then let him grow out his Quarantine Cut, if he’s asking for one then let him get one, he’s 8 that’s an appropriate age for letting him decide how he likes his hair ######

So my(16f) sister(23f) was studying abroad in Italy but the whole corona virus thing happened and she had to come back. She left all of her stuff with her roommate who lived there, including her computer. My mom lent her her computer for about a month because she wasn’t really using it, but now she needs it for work so I was the next candidate. My parents were already planning on buying me a new computer since the one that I’m using now is a very old model and cannot stand many programs I may have in school next year (i will use this for all high school and college). So they decided to buy it and immediately give it to my sister. She has been using it for a month now and will use it until she gets her stuff back. Now, I would be fine if she was just using it for necessary stuff like school or looking up things seeing as she has a TV on her room and a phone. But my mom said that she would use it as she would use it as if it was her own which means watching movies, going on YouTube, etc. This would also be fine if it wasn’t, well.. my sister. She has a very long past of mistreating all and every electronic device that she’s had and I admit I was very nervous to hand her my computer. When I voiced my concerns to my parents, my mom got mad at me for being an ungrateful child and basically screamed at me for even thinking about it. I wouldn’t really have made this post if that comment didn’t make me so sad. I kind of already know that I’m in the wrong here, but I’d still like an outsiders opinion. Also this is my first post ever. I hope I didn’t make any mistakes. ######

NTA If your sister has a history of destroying or treating her electronics really badly then it makes since not to want a computer she used. Hopefully she doesnt inflict to much damage, and you can enjoy a relatively new laptop. If she does mess it up, hopefully your parents will notice and im sure they wont be thrilled about replacing a brand new laptop. Best case scenario you get the laptop back with almost no damage. Worst case your parents realized their mess up and they have to pay out for another new one. ######

I work in a supply warehouse and was given the option to buy medical grade masks for personal use. The only restriction is that we were only allowed to buy 1 mask per person living in the same house as you. I live with my parents, so that meant that I could buy 3 masks. I gave one mask to my dad (who is 65 years old, diabetic and still working full time) one mask to my sister (who works part time buying groceries/picking up prescriptions and provides household assistance for the elderly. She also has an asthmatic son and a diabetic daughter) and kept one mask for myself because I am working full time and have been the person going grocery shopping for our household. When my mom found out that I didn't have a mask for her, she blew up. Yelling at me for being selfish because I didn't get her a mask. I explained about the limit on how many masks I could buy, and reasoned that since she was laid off and hadn't left the house in 3 weeks, she didn't need a mask. Also I would be able to purchase 3 more masks in 2 weeks, so I would be able to buy her one then. My dad has sided with my mom, and said that since the limit was for each member of the household, then I shouldn't have given my mom's mask to my sister. ######

NTA If your mother doesn't leave the house, she has no need for a mask. Your sister, on the other hand, has a definite need for one. ######

Right now, I am the only one who works, albeit from home, but I workover 40 hours a week. My husband is laid off, and we have a 3.5 year old. BACK STORY: Prior to all of this 3 months ago, my husband was a couch sleeper. He is the type that just falls asleep easy. So 6 days out of 7 I would be the one getting up with our daughter every night, and we take turns with putting her to bed. Now that I am the only one who works, I told him that he should be getting up with her most nights, because I get up in the AM, and also sleeping downstairs would allow our kid not to wake up to my alarm, and I wouldn't have to wake him up in the AM when I came downstairs to have coffee and start work. He didnt like that, and thought it is only fair to split nights. Funny he thought it was fair before he was laid, that I got up with her every night. They sleep in till 8-9am every day. Now yesterday my dog tried to lunge at another dog going in our driveway and when I pulled her back, I somehow screwed up my back. Can barely walk. It was my night on the couch last night but he didnt want to go to bed so he was downstairs till 1am playing is video games so I didnt fall asleep till after 1am. I would have went upstairs but being in pain, I couldnt. I also had a crappy nights sleep. So this morning, my daughter woke up at 8am and he told her to leave him and wake me up. I took her and hobbled upstairs and got into bed with him. He got mad that I woke him up, and that I was trying to lay back down. He started yelling at me. I told him it was 830am, not 630am, and I work all week and so I deserve to be able to sleep in, since they both sleep in every day, and my back hurts and I had a crappy nights sleep. He isn't speaking to me AITA? ######

NTA If you're working 40 hours a week and struggling to walk, in what universe is it remotely fair that you do 50% of the child maintenance? What does he do around the house that matches the effort you put in working and doing things while he sleeps or plays games? ######

So I live next to a man, let's call him Cam, who's in his late 20's and is single. He is also openly gay. To express his identity, he attends the local pride parade every year, he hangs rainbow flags around his property and he has had multiple boyfriends, some of whom i've met. But for the past 6 months Cam's been single and I think he's getting rather lonely. Recently, he has started approaching me while i've been doing yardwork and joins me as I walk to get my mail every other day. We've been neighbours for almost 5 years now and he is well aware that i'm not gay. Regardless, he still makes an attempt to flirt with me. ( ie. sexual jokes, excessive winking, caresses my biceps and pecs, always inviting me for dinner) His advances have made me quite uncomfortable around him, as a result of this I have been intentionally avoiding him. I will often go back inside if he is hanging around the outside of my house, and I will go get my mail at extremely late hours. When I can't manage to avoid him, I try to ignore him or get the interaction done as quick as humanly possible. But last night he waited until 2:45 am for me to go get my mail. He ran up beside me and started asking me where i've been and why I have been ignoring him. I claimed that I had no idea what he was talking about and i've just been feeling under the weather. He didn't really buy it and kept persisting, it was that point that I did a complete 180 and sprinted back to my house. I've been locked inside for almost 24 hours now and i've seen him walk around the outside of my house a few times. TL;DR Gay neighbour flirts with me and I locked myself inside because of it. AITA? ######

NTA If you were just avoiding him for no other reason than that he's gay, you'd be in with a chance in the Asshole Olympics. But this isn't that; his actions are completely out of line, especially those involving him touching you without consent. If you don't want to completely cut him out (and you'd be justified in doing so, but I get why you'd want to avoid this since you can't exactly stop being his neighbour without moving house) I would go and see him and make it abundantly clear that you don't mind talking to him or being neighbourly but his flirting, innuendo and especially touching you need to stop. Don't accept any justification or excuses for this; just point out that you do not want him to do any of these things, and that if he persists you'll have no choice but to end contact with him because it makes you uncomfortable. ######

I don’t know how much I can talk about it, but I’m waiting on a claim to go to court that I am most likely getting a good chunk of money from. Obviously only close family like my mum know the details. Any time the case is talked about among the family my mum immediately jumps to “we’ll be going to Disneyland with that money”, “I can’t wait to get a new suite”, or “you’ll have to give me half of it”. She always says these things ‘as a joke’ but time after time, without failure, anytime I try and make any decision that she doesn’t agree with she gets huffy, shouty, and gets older family members on board to sway me to her side, so I know what to expect when the time comes. I’m not gonna lie, it hurts me that my mum has never asked or even seem interested in what \*I\* want to do with the money. I was thinking of putting it towards a car, Uni, or new furniture and such for my room (which is probably the most selfish option, but I study art + design and currently don’t have any space or the right resources to work from home). Maybe there’s a way to meet her half way, but at the very least I wish I could get a little bit of input. At the minute I do live at home, and all my benefits go directly to my mum so I don’t have to worry about paying rent. But considering I don’t work, is that enough? Am I being selfish and making my family miss out because I planned ahead when I should’ve asked them first? What should I do when the time comes? ######

NTA If you start giving this money to your mother, OP, she will end up taking it all. It will be nibbled away by her and perhaps other relatives until you have nothing left. Do the smart thing, OP. Go to a financial planner. Perhaps your attorney could make a recommendation. A good planner can extend you money for your short term goals, like schooling. He/she can tie up the rest of the money so that it is difficult to access. That will help you tell your mother *No*, which is what she needs to hear. ######

My swimming instructor said I passed all of the requirements for the first part of my course. Then he said the last part of my course required me to do a practical test at another swimming location the next day. I drove all the way to the new swimming pool about 30 minutes away and went into the swimming centre. I saw my swimming instructor and other swimming classmates. My swimming instructor said “sorry, I forgot that your swimming level (I am doing bronze star) doesn’t require an practical test. The practical test is only for those doing bronze medallion and above.” So me and my family went home. Then weeks passed and I still have not received my bronze star certificate in the mail. I went to the swimming pool and told a staff member I haven’t received my certificate. Then she told me to write my mobile number down so my swimming teacher can contact me. Weeks had passed and I did not get a phone call from the teacher. I went to the swimming pool one day and happened to see my swimming teacher so I said that I still haven’t received my certificate. He said “that’s not my problem if you haven’t received your certificate”. I’m not the type to argue so I just left it there and came home and told my dad. My dad said to email the swimming organisation and say that I haven’t received my certificate. They replied back and basically didn’t believe me. Then i had to reply back explaining the whole story, I even included the part where my teacher said “it’s not my problem”. Then finally the swimming organisation replied back and apologised. I received my certificate about two months late. Then the following year I had that same swimming teacher again to teach me swimming. He basically ignored me the entire time. AITA for going to great lengths to get my certificate? I mean I did pay around $100 for the course. ######

NTA If you paid and did everything required to get your certificate than you should get it. If he's the one in charge of mailing certificates than it is his problem and if not he still should have helped you regardless. As a customer of his course you pay his salary and he has an obligation towards you and he's not fulfilling it. Also if he's completely dismissing you now you should email organisation again, preferably with proof of his misconduct, and either have him show you respect you deserve or get a refund. ######

My(F22) grandma used to make gorgeous patchwork blankets, and anyone who has made one will know how much time and skill goes into them. As a going away present for university (4years ago) my grandma made and gifted me a massive double sized one, and I love it! Unfortunately arthritis runs in my family and making something this intense really took a toll on my grandma, in addition to my grandma getting cataracts, so she has said she will no longer be making anything. This has proved true over the last 4 years as my grandma has stuck to her guns and not made anything more. Fast forward to me coming home from uni and my mum seeing the blanket for the first time in 4 years. She has now suggested that it isn't fair that my younger brother (M17) won't receive one and that I SHOULD CUT MINE IN HALF to give him some. Because of the shape of the blanket it wouldn't even be that simple, I'd have to detach all the squares and rearrange them into two functional shaped single blankets. I know that I could do this, as I have made a point to start learning the skills my grandma had, but WIBTA if I refuse? I might be tempted if my brother was really sad but he has never mentioned that he even likes the blanket! TL; DR My grandma made me a blanket, and it was the last thing she made. Mum wants me to cut it on half so my younger brother gets some. ######

NTA If you cut the blanket in half, no one has a functional blanket from grandma. That’s obviously a ridiculous King Solomon type solution. We don’t even know if your brother is upset about not having a blanket. If he is, you can easily work out a lending schedule. Sorry to hear about her decline, been there, know how tough it can be to watch. ######

My sister is getting married a year from now and is going crazy on her wedding plans. She knows I'm only working part-time while going through cancer treatment and am struggling financially. She's picked out $400 designer bridesmaids dresses for us plus alterations, shoes, jewelry, etc. and wants us to buy them right away. I asked if we could look at very similar, less expensive options and she hasn't spoken to me in 2 weeks. ######

NTA If you cannot afford what the bridezilla is determined to have, be up front and say, “Sis, I only work part time and am going through cancer treatments, I don’t even know how long I’ll be able to hold onto the few hours I currently work. I am unable to afford what you envision for your special day. In light of that, while I want to be very involved with your wedding because you are my sister and I love you, I will not be able to be a bridesmaid but I hope to still contribute and be a guest on XYZ date.” ######

A couple things. I am of Indian descent, this means I am an American citizen, but both my parents were born in India. I can’t legally be an Indian citizen because India does not allow dual citizenship. My late grandparents own a lot of land in India, and since my mom and I are both only children, half of their land went to me and half went to my mom. I also recently proposed to my fiancée on our 5 year anniversary. This is why the discussion of what we own came up. I don’t have the current estimate on my property, but it was worth about 7 crore rupees which is approximately a million dollars. The thing is, I can’t sell the land. I’m not an Indian citizen, so it’s illegal for me to sell that land. I can legally build buildings and be a landlord or a farm that land, but I can in no way sell that land. I also don’t want to use that land for rent or farming since it’s going to be difficult to invest. I did own the land a couple months before my relationship with my fiancée started, but I didn’t think it was that important to tell her. ######

NTA If you can’t sell it then technically you aren’t really a millionaire? I mean you could figure out a way to make money off it if you had to but it’s not that accessible to you right now. I think you should bring it up before marriage tho. Just say what you said here. You own land but can’t really do anything with it as you aren’t an Indian citizen and dealing with buildings would be a hassle. But at this point it’s less about money and more it’s just an interesting part of you she may like to know about. ######

So basically, there’s this restaurant in my home town that for some reason my family absolutely love. It’s kind of a Mediterranean grill type restaurant. I don’t live in my home town anymore but do visit to see my family, and we always end up eating there. Me and my girlfriend are vegan. I normally try not to bring it up because I get embarrassed when people make a big deal about it, but it’s relevant to the story. Literally everything on the menu is a meat or fish dish. There is nothing on the menu I can eat so I normally have to ask if they’ll remove the meat from something, which results in a bit of a shitty meal, and they charge the same price for it. Not a huge deal, I’m kind of used to having to do that (although normally it’s easier to ask for no cheese on something than “can I have the chicken pasta with no chicken?”). Makes it a bit harder that the waiting staff there do always seem to take it as a personal attack. I’ve made the point that I don’t like eating there in the past several times, but the response has always been that I’m choosing to limit what I can eat, so I don’t really get a choice. Anyway, my birthday’s coming up, I’m travelling back home to see my family and my mum’s called me saying “I’ve booked us into \[the restaurant\] on your birthday”. I said can we just book somewhere else, there’s plenty of restaurants in town that are more accommodating. Apparently I’m TA because my mum would be embarrassed to call up to cancel the booking (they go there so often that the staff know them) and she’s already told all my family that that’s where we’re going. This ended up being a bit of an argument which has kind of soured going home for my birthday. I’m not trying to force veganism on my family, or get them to eat at a purely vegan restaurant, I just would like to eat somewhere with a couple more options. Am I being inconsiderate when everyone else loves it? Should I just suck it up and eat somewhere I don’t like eating on my birthday? ######

NTA If they refuse to cancel the reservation, wish them well as they go without you. ######

My sister (25) works for an art museum and always talks about how little she makes compared to what she perceives to be less important jobs. I (27) work as a lawyer so, due to the nature of our work, most likely make more money than her (though neither of us know each other’s exact salary obviously) She was going on again about finance, lawyers, big business, corporations, etc and how much more money “white men” make compared to people like her. I reminded her we both grew up in the exact same family (fairly privileged) and that we both were fortunate enough to have our parents support us through undergrad. I suggested that if she was that upset with her salary, do what I did, take out a loan and go to grad school to make more money. After going back and forth, she said I make more money than her because I’m a male. I responded that it wasn’t my fault that she chose to major in art and pointed out 50% of my law classmates were women (as are my co-workers). I told her that she chose a passion job over money, which is 100% fine, but that all choices have pros and cons. I basically hate my daily life but make good money. Everybody makes their choices. She got really pissed when I told her to “stop playing the gender card” to explain her current finances. AITA? ######

NTA If she was complaining about a man in the same role as her making more or a woman in the same role as you making less, I'd be inclined to believe it's a gender issue. But if you and her both got the same treatment and opportunities from your parents growing up and you picked a career that pays more, that's not a gender issue :/ ######

My boyfriend and I have both hit hard by the economic effects of COVID-19. I was laid off from my job, and my boyfriend's company has furloughed most of its employees indefinitely. We are both very anxious about our future, and every dollar we receive from unemployment and our stimulus checks is going directly into savings, with a small portion left over for a discounted monthly rent payment we've negotiated with our landlord. Our goal is to have a year's worth of expenses covered in case we're both out of work for a long time. To try to save money, we're living off of what we have on hand in the pantry, so basically various combinations of rice, canned beans and tuna and dried peas/lentils/etc. I'll be the first to admit that these aren't the most fun/flavorful meals, but we need to be financially responsible right now, and we have more than enough food to last us until the end of summer. My sister has been living with us since February, when she left her job because of conflict with her boss. This was supposed to be a temporary arrangement while she looked for a new job, but obviously, given the current situation, she may be here for a while. Unfortunately, she isn't eligible for unemployment because she left her job at will and she has zero money right now, so my boyfriend and I haven't asked her to contribute anything to the household financially and have been sharing all our food with her. Everything was fine for the first week or two after the lockdown, but lately my sister keeps complaining that she's sick of eating nothing but rice and beans and keeps saying it isn't fair that we won't order a pizza or buy some "real food" from the grocery store once in a while. I tried to cut her some slack at first because I know this is a stressful situation for everyone, but eventually I snapped and told her she was being ridiculously entitled (especially since she's living with us for free!) and we all have to make sacrifices. AITA? ######

NTA If she wants other food, she can order and pay for it. No one is forcing her to eat your meals. ######

I’m 21 years old. I live with my parents and work at a fast food place while I’m going to a community college. I work hard for the money I earn, even though my family says I don’t need to work. A high school friend of mine (21f) and I started messaging again through social media. We used to be very close, but we stopped talking for multiple reasons. One thing that kind of irritates me now is that when we hang out she can’t help with the bill because she has no money. I don’t mind treating her to drinks or dinner every once in a while. However, our mutual friend is coming back to the states and we all want to have fun and go places (once quarantine allows us). Our friend that’s coming back (21f) will have money from her parents to cover her, but the other friend won’t because she doesn’t work. Even though she’s able-bodied, has a car, and a bachelors degree; she won’t get a job or apply for any services to help her. Yet she feels “sorry” for me because of the job that I have, and she looks down on her dad’s pregnant girlfriend for getting government aid to feed her children. My mom says I should be more understanding because her family situation is rough and she’s my friend. It’s just hard to sympathize when we ALL want to go out and have fun and do things that cost money, yet I’m the only one who’d be able to cover her because I’m the only one working. Not to mention that I work as a MINIMUM WAGE FAST FOOD EMPLOYEE, and the fact that she’s a grown adult who is capable of working too. Yes, I have my parents to back me up, but they already give me a roof over my head and a car to drive. I’m not going to ask my parents to give me an allowance or some cash because I want to go shopping with my friends. I have a savings and my job pays well for what I need, but I don’t want to spend it all on someone who wants to have fun but won’t work. ######

NTA If she wants money she should apply for government aid or better yet get a job instead of mooching off her friends ######

My gf moved in with me shortly after the pandemic began for financial reasons mostly She hates that i let my 2 rabbits free roam my house. She’s a neat freak and she hates the hair, hay, and the fact they occasionally drop a turd out of their litter box (which is picked up by my automated vaccuum quickly) AITA for wanting them to continue to live their lives as is and not forcing them to give up their freedoms because my gf can’t handle what amounts to a RARE tiny rabbit pellet, some hay near their litter box, and their hair. It is my house afterall. ######

NTA If she doesn't like it she didn't have to move in. Pets are part of the family... ######

English it's not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes. My mom has a long history of debts, she has loans with multiple people. When my grandmother or someone gave her money to save, she always spends it. Last year my grandma gave her to save a big amount of money and she spent it, when my grandma asked for the money she didn't have it, so she had to ask multiple loans to repay de money. Besides she owns a school but since the quarantine started a lot of parents don't want to pay even when the teachers are giving them activities. (I'm from Mexico) so she's also having a hard time paying to the teachers. Two years ago we used to live in our own house but she lost because of the debts. I work from home, thankfully I didn't lost my job, so I used to help her pay the rent, but she made a loan on my name(I didn't grab any of the money, it was all for her) and she isn't paying it so I'm doing it, since then I haven't been giving her money to pay the rent. But I'm helping her to buy all the groceries that we need. My sister does help her with the rent and supports her sometimes to pay a part of her debts. With my salary sometimes I buy myself things I like, like clothes or things I see on the internet. This morning I was telling my sister I wanted to buy a curling iron, and my grandmother told me I should stop buying things, and give all that money to my mother. And I told her that I do gave her money and help her in the house. (My grandmother it's also paying some of the loans of my mom, and in the pass she even had to mortgage her home to help her, she is still paying that mortgage) So AITA for refusing to give my mother more money? ######

NTA If others want your Mom to have money, they can give her their money. You're doing enough. ######

I’ll try to keep this simple. I (23M) have been dating (23F) for about 5 months now, and our relationship has been official/public for most of that time. She is extremely supportive, generous, and I think, a great girlfriend overall. I am not a big social media user, but my she loves Twitter. I don’t have Twitter, but as she spends hours on it everyday, I got curious and decided to look her up. Sort of teasing, I asked what her username was, and she said, “Are you looking me up? Don’t look at my Twitter.” I assumed she was being lighthearted in turn and just teasing. Well, I managed to find her handle and after about 5 minutes she made her account private. Now, I try not to be sensitive, but I admit I was a little hurt. I didn’t realize she was being so serious about this. I asked her if I was going to see something offensive, she said no. I asked if she was doing things she didn’t want me to see, she said no (which is obviously paradoxical). Her position is that Twitter is “her space.” I replied that no, it’s actually the most public space you can get, which is why I’m confused that she doesn’t want her BOYFRIEND to see what she’s doing. We are at the point in our relationship where we’ve talked about our past. I know she has met/sexted guys via Twitter. I understand that everyone has a past, and everyone has a right to privacy, but this just feels icky to me. I am still fairly new to the relationship thing, and I am genuinely not trying to have trust issues here, but to me this feels like a red flag. My girlfriend seems to think I am making a big deal out of nothing. AITA? Do I just need to chill out? ######

NTA if it was private account that she just didn’t feel comfortable sharing yet, I would maybe get it. But it is (was until you saw it) a public account so really you’re the only person she doesn’t want seeing it. Kinda sounds like a red flag to me. ######

I'll try to keep it short: My husband (28M) and I (26F) have been trying to get pregnant for about a year. About a week before Father's day, I took a pregnancy test, because I started having symptoms. It tested positive. But just to be sure, I also went to see a professional that also confirmed it. By now, it was about two days before Father's day, so I decided to wait and tell my husband on Father's day, thinking nothing of it. When I did tell him, he was overjoyed and we were both really happy- until he asked me how long I knew. When I told him I knew for about a week, he got really irritated and became incredibly snappy, saying that I should've told him as soon as I knew. I got a little annoyed and asked why it was such a problem that I waited a little bit, it's not like it was a couple of weeks, it was literally two days. I thought it would be a nice surprise, especially since it's on a day that it's celebrated for. Now, it's been a few days since the argument and I'm not sure how to feel, but I kinda feel as if he ruined a day that was supposed to be special for the both of us. AITA for not telling him as soon as I knew? ######

NTA If it was me I would have been thrilled to find out on fathers day, especially since you did the right thing and went to confirm with a professional. ​ I somewhat understand why he would get snippy, but in all honesty, its such a minor thing that it makes him wrong. This should be the happiest moment in your relationship (so far) a 2 day wait shouldnt ruin that ######

With the current world climate the worry of mortality has been brought up in the minds of many including my(20) half-sister sister (32). My half-sister was discussing with me on the phone how difficult it will be to divide everything evenly if our dad passed away (he has health problems so it may happen sooner rather than later). I then nonchalantly mentioned it wouldn't be perfectly even because my mom and our dad have shared finances, assets, etc. so in their will my full-blooded little sister and I would be recieving more than her and my half-brother. She was honestly pretty hurt to hear that and did not think my little sister and I deserved that because my mother has been part of her life since she was 6 and she has two children who are owed something. She is now mad at my mother and our dad. My dad thinks I am TA for saying anything. My mother stands by the decision in their will because while she has been part of my half-siblings lives she has never over stepped boundaries and acted like their mother because they already had a mother who had almost full custody of them. Also, my half-siblings have a mother and step-father who are going to give them stuff when they die. My little sister and I on the other hand will not be recieving inheritance from two households like them. I'm not saying that they will recieve nothing but it will just not be equal to my little sister and I. I just don't know how to feel about it but my dad is very upset with me and I feel really crappy about the whole thing. ######

NTA If I understand this, you will be getting an inheritance from your mom and dad. She expects to get an inheritance from her mom, her dad, her step-dad, ***and*** your mom. That doesn't seem to add up. Regardless, the division of the will is up to your mom and dad, and not her. ######

Some people at my school signed a contract to rent a club house for prom and decided to go full out (litteraly no specifics from them), the problem is is that they demand 190$ from everyone (150 people) but almost no one paid except the organizers friend's and they almost got sued for not paying. I really don't want to go since i don't like a lot of people there, im single and have no interest in anyone in this school and my friends dont plan to go either, AmITheAsshole?( To clarify i did not sigh any contract) ######

NTA If I understand this right, someone is essentially demanding that you chip in on an event that you don't wish to actually attend? Don't pay. They don't have the right to preemptively obligate you to this. Most proms I have heard of sell tickets. If you don't buy all that happens is you can't go. ######

About 3 months ago I (24) began seeing a man (27) We are polar opposites (I'm a city girl, he's a country redneck). We've been sexually active the entire time. About two weeks ago I started throwing up and feeling really weird. I took a test. It was positive. I haven't had an OB confirm it yet. The issue he is very pro-life and I am very pro-choice. Here is the other issue: this man is from a very small town, conservative Southern Baptist background. He doesn't really believe a lot of medical information. He says sunscreen will give him cancer and lets himself burn and uses weird home remedies to cure ailments. He also told me he does not believe that you can get pregnant via the pullout method. He thinks as long as he pulls out, it's good. I've tried to explain that is incorrect but he won't listen to me. This is an accident. I am on birth control (which failed obviously) but I am afraid he won't believe me if I tell him. I don't want to terminate, but I can't raise a child alone (grad student with too much debt) and he is in the military and leaving for 4 months in two weeks. I am also supposed to be beginning grad school in a new city in the spring. If he won't accept the child, I can't keep it. My mom was a single mom and I do not want to bring a child jnto the world that feels unloved or abandoned. He's also been talking to his ex and will be stationed two hours from her house. Would I be the asshole for terminating without telling him or should I tell him I took the positive test and see how he reacts? Is he required to know even if he may not even believe it? Tdlr; WIBTA for not telling my partner I'm pregnant and terminating on my own accord? Edit: I'd like to clarify I have been with no one but him so this child is definitely his. In case it comes up ######

NTA If he's not mature enough to realize that pulling out is not a viable contraceptive method, he's certainly not mature enough to raise a child. You know that you're not ready to be a mother, and you are entirely within your rights to make the decision about what to do. ######

I’m on mobile so I apologize. (22f) So (big surprise) I’ve been having a ton of trouble finding a job during COVID. Since I just graduated from college, I’ve been applying everywhere to any job I can think of that’s remote or in my state. I heard back from a few but nothing was working out. Then, a few days ago I heard from this one company that claimed to be a big financial firm. I agreed to a phone interview and they sent me a few videos about the history of the company and the set up and compensation and etc. I watched them when they were sent to me so about 6 hours before my interview. The guy called me and we started talking. Right away he’s condescending, saying things like “I didn’t girls even understood economics” (I was an econ major). He then took to quizzing me on these two videos. I mean full on test format. When I couldn’t remember the exact year the company was founded and the names of all the founders, he said “yeah I’m just trying to figure out if you even watched our videos or if you were off wasting your time”. Between this and his blatant sexism, I couldn’t take it. I just hung up. My friends think I’m TA here because a job is a job no matter how miserable. I think I made the right choice. After all, I don’t want to work somewhere with THIS being the first impression. Plus I rewatched one of the videos and this is 100% an MLM. But still, I feel a little bad. So Reddit AITA? ######

NTA If he was this unprofessional in the interview when he is supposed to be practically trying to court you to come work there, fuck knows how bad he would be once you were actually working there. Big red flags and you were right to drop it right then and there. ######

Basically I went out on my lunch break and left my AirPods on my desk, keep in mind I work in a very small office with 7 other people who I trust. When I got back to my desk I looked for my AirPods and I was certain I’d left them on my mouse pad as I always do I checked my draws and on the floor in case I’d knocked them down without noticing, meanwhile my co worker walks over and asks if I was okay and I tell them I was just looking for my AirPods and then they walked off. 15 mins later the same coworker comes up to me and puts my AirPods on my desk and says I shouldn’t leave things like that around and says he did it to teach me a lesson. I snapped and told him not to take my stuff again, I’m not sure if I over reacted but I don’t like my stuff being taken to “teach me a lesson” AITA ######

NTA If he put them away to keep them safe that would be one thing. But "teaching people lessons" is reserved for parents and teachers, and only when they're actually teaching not scaring ######

I heard you are asshole aficionados here, and this is tangentially related to a literal one. I work at a welding shop in the midwest. It's hot, I sweat. The toilet paper supplied by work is tough-guy TP: don't take crap off nobody, and you'll bleed if you try. The last thing I need is a mud problem on a hot summer day. So I be a little proactive, bring some brand name stuff here. I don't have a locker, so I leave at my desk. Do my business, have a fresh rest of my day. Work is 24 hours, 7 days a week, divided into three shifts. I come in, the damn thing is near empty. Off shift workers took turns with my TP to their anuses like a three dollar hooker. I've since requested a locker but told them it wasn't ok (stern, not yelling) and I have since started keeping the TP in my car, which is a three minute walk from the shop, so any emergencies I am shit creek. The off shift now thinks I'm an asshole - so let me ask: AM I the asshole here? ######

NTA If enough of you don't like the company TP, they should raise a stink with management and get the good stuff for everyone. Obviously, you don't owe them your own TP, so there's no way you can be TA here. ######

My (28f) husband (30m) and I have been together for 8 years, married for 2. Shortly before we got married, we purchased our home. We’re at a point now where we’d like to start trying for children. My husband’s father has a rare genetic disease that is similar to Parkinson’s. He’s wheelchair-bound and has little control of his movements. My husband and his sibling both have a 50% of having inherited this disease from their father. It’s an awful disease and I hate watching my FIL struggle. My husband and his sibling were recently talking about going for testing to determine if they’ve inherited the disease. My husband is nervous because he doesn’t want to find out if he has it or not. I’m scared of this disease being passed along to my children. Obviously I wouldn’t leave my husband, but I’d like for us to know and that way, if he does have it, we can explore our options. The other day, he wanted to have a serious conversation about us beginning to try for children. I was open and honest and said that I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of having children just yet and I’d like for him to get tested for the disease along with his sibling. He got very defensive and said that I’m being selfish. He accused me of not wanting to have a family with him, of being ashamed of his family (the disease is caused by generations of in-breeding, low population density of where is parents are from). I’m not ashamed or embarrassed, I just want to ensure that our future children will be healthy. AITA for wanting him to get tested before we have children? TL;DR my husband’s father has a rare genetic diseases that my husband has a 50% chance of having inherited. I don’t want us to start trying for children until my husband gets tested for the disease. ######

NTA If anyone’s being selfish, it’s him. He really doesn’t care if he has a possibility of passing on a genetic disease that could literally ruin his potential child’s life? All because he just doesn’t want to know? It’s not about him. It’s about the children you could have and he needs to understand that. ######

AITA: for getting frustrated with my MIL and now SIL just stopping bye whenever they feel like it. So I am going to start off I generally like my MIL... My husband and I live in a small town and MIL lives 2 minutes away. SIL is currently long visit and is staying with the in-laws. We have had issues with her just showing up since we have been together (3 and half years now). Husband has tried to talk to MIL but it keep happening. This week they tried to stopped by without calling while husband and I were having “some couple time.” Dog was barking but we didn’t hear anything. After we were done I had missed call from SIL. She said they dropped by and asked what we were doing ... I lied. Husband was upset. This was not the first time MIL has knocked on the door while we were doing the act. Today, SIL calls husband ... he ignores it because he is playing a game. I have the front door open so the dog can lay on the chair and watch the street (she is a chihuahua). She starts barking more than usual. I go to look out and step out of the house. There I see my MIL and SIL coming up to my door. I told them, “So you call husband and when doesn’t answer you just come over?” AITA? ######

NTA If a discussion with them hasn’t worked, it’s easily fixed another way. Train them like toddlers. Tell them point blank that you will no longer be answering the door unless you have prearranged plans. And then stick to it consistently. After they try it enough times, they won’t bother. No one likes to knock and know they are being purposely ignored. It’s humiliating and most people tend to avoid it. ######

These past few weeks, my mom has been trying to convince me to leave my son with her because she’s been lonely because my dad died recently but my wife and I refused because Of what she did that last time we left our son (8m) My mom has become a very big conspiracy theorist and we left our son with her for a month because we wanted to go on a trip together. When he went back to school, they were talking about 9/11 and he immediately piped up “my grandma said the zionisy jews did it” we got a call from his teacher asking what is my mom teaching him. It embarrassed us both and I called her up asking what the fuck is she telling my kid. She just tried to defend herself with “it’s true, Besides do you know how many Jews died in 9/11? None!” I just hung up so that’s why I’m wondering if I did the right thing in refusing? ######

NTA If a babysitter did the same, you wouldn't call her back. While you probably should allow some bonding time between them, I myself wouldn't do that unsupervised. ######

AMITA This might be a long post, so bear with me. So my step dad works remotely due to COVID, but because of the significance of his position, he has to go into work Monday and Tuesday. I work 6 days a week, I'm up by 5:30 and out by 6:15ish, he's meant to be out at the same time. The first time my mom asked me to wake him up, I went with it, thinking nothing of it. Then, the next week, she didn't ask me to wake him, so I didn't. I got a passive aggressive phone call from her later that day saying that he was late for work since I didn't wake him. I asked her why he needed someone to wake him up, she says he sleeps over his alarm. As a 62 year old man, and having such an important job, one would think he would get himself out of bed to get to work, but apparently not. I've known people that say they set multiple alarms, and still manage to sleep over them. I myself don't get it. I kinda feel like it's the person's responsibility to wake themselves up for work. I don't like being woken up by anything but my alarm clock, myself. I recently started leaving the house earlier, so I wouldn't be obligated to wake up a grown man so he can make it to work on time. AMITA for not wanting to be responsible for a grown ass man? ######

NTA I’m with you on this. Imo, the only reason the alarms don’t work is because he *knows* someone will wake him up. Let him be late to work if he can’t be responsible enough to wake himself up ######

So we’ve been dating for a couple months now. She lives by herself and I’m with roomies but I’m moving into my new 1bed place in July. Whenever we’re at her place she keeps her feet on and walks around which at first flabbergasted me but it’s her place so I never said anything. I always joked that I’d never let her into my place if she won’t take her shoes off and she shrugged and said whatever. So now that I’m preparing to get my own place, the issue has come up again and again and each time she seems to brush it off. I know this might seem silly to stress about but honestly I think it’s disgusting if you walk around outside and step on dirt and dust and lots of other nasty stuff then spread it all over my floor and my god damn carpet. So I decided to sit down with her and make it clear to her that I wouldn’t accept this kind of thing in my apartment. I didn’t phrase it that way to her, the way I said it was more along the lines of “I know we’ve been over this several times but it just seems that we can’t come to an agreement so I’d appreciate it if you kept your shoes off when you’re walking around in my apartment”. She totally took it the wrong way, she said that’s what she’s used to where she’s from (we’re in Canada and she’s American....do Americans not take their shoes off in the house????? I’m so confused) and that I’m trying to change her so soon and that’s a red flag. I didn’t budge and said that if she doesn’t take it off then she won’t be allowed in my place. And she just up and left without saying a word. Where did I go wrong.......am I really being unreasonable? I don’t think I am lol ######

NTA I’m American (white/midwestern roots) and my family and all my friends wear shoes in the house. I dated an international student and can’t stand the shoes in the house anymore. It makes the floors dirtier faster and I like being barefoot without getting my feet all grimy (and then my sheets too). You’re allowed to have that preference for your home. House slippers were suggested by someone else and that’s a great compromise. If she can’t accept that, and insists on wearing her shoes inside, she’s just lazy. ######

Throwaway for obvious reasons In January when my sister (22) found out she's pregnant, the father isn't in the picture and she is currently single. She lives a state away and my (F16) parents have always treated us much different. I have nothing against my sister, she's great and I love her but after she left the house a few years back it's almost like my parents forgot they still had another kid to raise. I always felt like my wants and needs were put in the back burner, they were always too tired or too busy for me or any of my accomplishments. For example I got a piece of artwork sent to our state capitol for display and the only thing I got from my parents was a dismissive "that's cool." I always felt like they had my sister so my mom could have a girl and had me so my dad could have a boy, which obviously didn't work out. Cut to today and my parents are constantly swooning over how they can't wait to be grandparents. They buy huge gifts and make homemade clothes and furniture just for the baby. In my mind it's just my dad's second chance for a boy so they're going all out. I have never felt so unwanted in my life. Some examples of this include: my dad saying he's gonna give the kid the pickup once they can drive (the pickup that was supposed to be mine) My dad framing a bunch of my great-uncle's records to give to the kid (ones that are bands *I* enjoy) my mom constantly making stuff for the baby meanwhile she promised me a blanket and a hat. Plus many more I just feel like I don't even matter anymore, all they talk about is the baby and my sister lives an hour away! I get their excited but still. This all came to a head tonight when I asked for help on my math homework and they just ignored me. It feels like there's just a little voice in the back of my head telling me maybe if I get knocked up they'd care about me too. So Reddit AITA? ######

NTA I'm sorry you're stuck in this situation. Have your talked to your sister about this behavior from your parents? What are your options looking like for moving out at 18? ######

Throwaway as I don't want to use my main. When lockdown happened in March my mum asked could she stay with my wife and I while lockdown was happening as she was worried she'd get lonely during it. I asked my wife and we agreed as we both get on with her well and often go on holidays together abroad. I thought things were going fine but today my mum seems to have snapped. I said to my wife 'love you beautiful' and my mum snapped shouting 'how many times a day do you two have to say you fucking love eachother?' we were both taken back and I told her we probably say it 4 or 5 times a day which to us doesn't seem excessive. This annoyed her further and she said 'youve been together 8 years now. That's well past the honeymoon stage of saying I love you constantly'. My wife started crying at this point so I told my mum she had to apologise if she wanted any chance of staying under our roof or she could go home. She said a very sarcastic sorry and stormed off to her room and won't come out. My wife has asked me not to force her to leave because she doesn't want to create any drama and my mums probably just stressed from being in lockdown so long. I'm now starting to wonder if I'm an asshole for telling my wife I love her infront of my mum. We don't say it constantly around her, maybe twice a day and the other times are when it's just the two of us. ######

NTA I'm hoping this is just pandemic induced grouchiness, combined with apparently being single (widowed/divorced?) during a difficult time, which probably hits home a little more when she sees the two of you together. I'm not giving her a free pass for it, that is why she is definitely the AH, but hopefully this is out of character for her? But in no way is you being in a happy loving relationship a problem. ######

Here’s the background. My son “Danny” has been dating a girl for about six months. “Tracy” is in the same grade at a different school nearby. Additionally, Tracy’s mom “Susan” is a teacher in yet another school all these are in the same district. I guess Susan got curious about Danny and his grades. So she contacted someone she knows at Danny’s school to pull up his grades. She then proceeded to tell Tracy she can no longer see Danny because his grades didn’t meet her standards. I’m so mad right now. I feel she had absolutely no business looking up my sons information. She had no legitimate reason to do so. I fired off emails to the principals of Susan’s school and my son’s school. I also copied the superintendent. I was venting to my sister about it and she said I went over the top and should have just let it go. I’m floored and just don’t understand. This has to be a violation of privacy or something. So AITA? I fail to see where I am wrong here. Maybe I should have waited. I don’t know. I got so mad so fast. ######

NTA I'm fairly certain that's illegal. You have every right to protect your child and his privacy. You weren't over the top in any way. That poor girl, having to deal with that as a mother. ######

I (21F) live with my boyfriend (24M) he eats alot and all the time he is snacking on something, but recently I've drawn a line. He has started eating food in bed, like chips and candy. It's gotten so bad he will fall asleep while eating. Last night I rolled over to a smushed candy bar that fell out of his hand and got chocolate all over our sheets. He always apologizes and says this is the last thing he will eat but he always gets more. Tonight I got mad when he had chocolate again and he told me it's ok he is awake and it's all he will have tonight. Not even 10min later he gets up to use the bathroom and brings back a honey bun I just roll over at this point and try to sleep but the smell of food is keeping me awake. He finally fell asleep and as soon as I started to doze off he woke up (not even 30min later) and went to grab some chips. I smelled them as soon as he opened them and I called him out of continually eating in bed and making a mess he got defensive saying he is sitting up and not making a mess and I told him if he wants to eat we have a perfectly good living room and kitchen and I'm tired of our bed room smelling like the food he brings up in the night. He told me I was exaggerating and finally I got up to sleep on the couch. He is now mad saying I'm making a big deal out of this and that if it's so important he will stop. But I've mentioned this so many times that it bothers me and he hasn't stopped. Am I the asshole for telling my boyfriend I hate him eating in bed then going to sleep on the couch when he doesn't stop ######

Nta I'd honestly lose my shit if I was in your shoes, that would be annoying. Dudes gotta respect the shared bedroom, supposed to be a relaxing space. ######

So me and my wife (Jessica) have been together for 6 years now married for 1. However throughout that time my MIL (Julia) has always been a little on the distrustful side when it comes to me. For reference my wife is full German and I am a Puerto Rican. It started off small so I never really cared, comments like “So Jessica how does it feel to have a taste of brown sugar?” Or one day she made some tacos for everyone and said “I hope I made them just like your mom does!” For those who don’t know tacos are a Mexican dish not a Puerto Rican dish. But none of those comments bothered me because the tacos tasted good and she tried, I get that she’s older and whatnot and she always seemed to be happy to see me so whatever. But then I proposed to my fiancé and things started to get really weird. Like I’m talking “Oh no now our bloodline isn’t gonna be pure!” She said that as a joke but still really really weird right, but still I but my tongue cause her husband hasn’t said anything and also the entire family seems to love me and Julia actually started to try and learn Spanish. But then me and Jessica buy a house and move in and Julia was giving Jessica some first house buying advice. Except I overhear her say, “Now you know how those people are ok their families are really close, so if they come to move in out of nowhere you have to fight to keep them out this is your space.” So I said, “Well my family isn’t a bunch of animals so how about you please leave we have a bunch of unpacking to do and in the meantime you can go to hell.” Needless to say Julia is a total mess and went into a screaming match where “She knew i wasn’t the one for my daughter because she could sense there was something wrong with me.” I stayed quiet throughout the whole thing but now when Julia slammed the door behind her my wife turned to me and said “I get that was messed up but did you have to say that go to hell part asshole.” But seriously dealing with casual racism is enough, AITA? ######

NTA I would seriously talk with your fiance about this issue. Her mother is racist, and treating you like garbage. Your fiance has to put her family in check for their behavior because it's going to be an issue for the rest of your life/marriage. ######

Today is my birthday and I’m sitting at home while my husband is drunk and passed out in his car somewhere. Not only has he ruined every single birthday of mine since we have been together, he ruined our sons first birthday when he chose to get drunk and not show up to the place we had agreed upon. Anyways, his birthday is in less than two weeks and I had planned on taking him out on a boat and giving him this portrait I made of our son, but now I’m thinking about taking our son to a nearby hotel to spend the day there while my husband spends the day completely alone. So, would I be an asshole? I feel like an asshole for even thinking about it. ######

NTA I was hoping you were saying you were going to take your son and NEVER COME BACK. ######

So I used to babysit for a old high school friend and loved working for them they had two kids a little girl who just turned two and a boy who was 8. They were very well behaved kids and I really enjoyed watching them. The mom had asked me to come to the girls 2nd birthday party and I said yes without hesitation and really looked forward to the food the dad said was gonna be there. Well the day comes and I'm told to be there at 1 and I showed up and no one was there yet and nothing had been set up and when I asked if I got the time wrong the mom said "no your right in time to start setting things up" and started pointing to all the boxes of decorations. At first I thought that maybe she had asked for help and I didn't hear it so I put my gift I got her down and grabbed a box and started setting up. The dad eventually starts the grill and I'm thinking that ok they gonna start helping but no they come and tell me that they going to get ready and to keep an eye on the baby. I didn't know what was going on but I was starting to figure it out slowly and when guests start showing up they finally come out of their room and get drinks and snacks ready and when one of their guest asked where do they set the gifts down the mom who was holding the two year old walks over to me hands me the child and said I've had plenty of time to set up and can watch the baby while she fixes everything I messed up (apparently the gifts were supposed to go on a table that I didn't have time to set up). I set the child down and grabbed my bag and walked out. Within 10 minutes my phone was blowing up asking where I went and calling me a asshole for leaving and it's my fault the baby got into some of the gifts cause I left and so on. I seriously thought they invited me cause I was apart of their lives and they wanted me to be a guest. I don't think I was a asshole for leaving but I've got about 20 text saying otherwise. AITA? ######

NTA I was expecting this story to go differently and you to be thinking you'd be paid for being a guest at a party. But nope, these parents are TAs. ######

This happened a while ago, but my friend still brings it up and says I’m a jerk. A little bit of background: I work in an industry that people tend to abuse the service animal policy to let their pets travel for free. I’ve had incidents were “service animals” attacked people and other pets and honestly it makes me really upset. I personally dislike it when people abuse the service animal policies. My friend on the other hand uses the service animal thing every where. Granted, her dog (a wiener dog) is an emotional support animal but not a service animal. I’ve told her countless times that a SA and an ESA are not the same and that her dog really shouldn’t be out in public places like stores because her dog will growl at others. She told me that she NEEDS her dog to feel safe. Fine. So one day my friend and I went to an ice cream shop. She put her dog into her bag and we walk in. Right away, my friend’s dog growled at the person in front of us and lady behind the desk looked at my friend and said, “Sorry, no pets allowed.” My friend then snapped, “She’s a service animal!” Honestly, as soon as my friend snapped at the lady, I was pretty much done with her using the SA. So, without skipping a beat, I look at my friend and said, “Hey, you know, Fluffy is an emotional support animal... not a service animal... don’t give the lady a hard time for doing her job.” After I said that, my friend got PISSED at me. Without saying anything, she turned her heel and stormed out. Feeling bad, I bought my friend and myself some ice cream but yah.. to this day, she still brings it up and tells my friends that I’m a rat. So yah... here I am, asking the internet if I’m an asshole because I’m tired of my friend lying about her dog. Tl;dr- AITA for ratting out my friend out in front of a ice cream shop about her “service animal”? ######

NTA I was attacked in an restaurant by a so called "service animal". I was too focused on my food, that I didn't notice the young 20ish couple that came in with their medium sized dog (not sure the breed). No leash either. I'm enjoying my steak, when I hear a whine. Here's this dog with a SA vest standing next me me begging for my food... I start asking who's dog is this? No answer. I go back to eating, I'm about to take a bit of my steak and the dog bit my hand. Trying to get my food. I screamed, the dog is clamped down on my hand. I hate to say, I punched the dog. (It was a reflex, I love animals) Now the owners come running up claiming I attacked their service animal and how their going to sue me blah blah... I ended up with 26 stitches and I sued them for damages. ######

So hi Reddit, I already people are gonna hate on me for this and yeah but let's just get to the backstory of the story (and yes I'm on a throwaway). So I'm 15 and ESS (entitled step-sister) is 10, ESM (Entitled stepmom). So my little sister loves playing basketball and I was visiting my dad the other day (they live close by, not too far). My little sister has such an attitude that all the other entitled children would cower in fear when she gets to them, she expects everything to be done for her and ONLY for her, she loves making snarky and harsh comments but hates constructive criticisms and hates losing. That's Where I come in, see in a fat tall kid, not that fit, but I'm tall enough to where I can hold the ball high enough so she cant get it, whenever we play basketball I let her win because I don't wanna deal with a brat crying and ESM raging at me after. So during the visit my ESS wanted to play basketball and gave the usual " I'm gonna beat you so bad you're gonna cry and cry" and me not dealing with this stuff anymore said "sure" with a smirk on my face. we usually go to 20 points (10 baskets) but today I wanted to finally win so I said " I'll do 20 to win and you do 10 baskets okay?" and she lit up thinking she could win again. Long story short I beat her 40-2 She ran inside and started to cry and ESM came outside and yelled at me until I just told her to shut up and told my dad what really happened, he was on my side but my ESM says that I'm an asshole ​ So Reddit AITA ######

NTA I understand she’s younger and all, but yet again you played the game and you won it, there is nothing wrong here. ######

My fiancé proposed to me with an heirloom engagement ring that belonged to his great grandmother and has been passed down from generation to generation. It’s art deco style with a large, multiple carat diamond in the center and many smaller ones surrounding it and in the band. I love the ring’s history and the things it symbolizes, but I personally find it gaudy and impractical to wear because of its size. I didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of wearing something so expensive and important every day, aside from the fact that I don’t really like how it looks. But at the same time I felt like it’s kind of wrong not to wear an engagement ring when I’m engaged, like how it feels kind of wrong when a married guy doesn’t wear his wedding ring on a regular basis. So I asked my fiancé if he could get me another ring, a simpler one. I told him that he doesn’t need to follow the three months salary ‘rule’ or anything like that. All I would like is a ring with a small solitaire stone that I can wear everyday as a symbol of our engagement. My fiancé seemed disappointed at my request and said that I should try to wear the ring for a few weeks first because it might grow on me. When I told him that I’m worried about the risk that I would lose it someway, he said that if I take care of it, I won’t lose it. I don’t agree with the things he said and I think it’s not fair that I’m expected to just endure my discomfort about my own engagement ring for the sake of pleasing people who are not the ones who have to wear the ring. At this point I kind of just want to buy myself an ‘everyday’ ring that I can wear as a symbol of my engagement. AITA? ######

Nta I too was proposed to with an heirloom ring and it is stunning and gorgeous and full of history and worth a bloody fortune. So my now husband bought me a simple solitaire that I wear day to day and then I wear the heirloom ring for special occasions. I was so terrified of damaging it! ######

To get right down to it, my family is descended from Robert E. Lee. We don’t have the last name anymore, but if you have kids, it’s just a given in my family that one of them has to have Lee incorporated in there somewhere. Every year in June we have the “Lee family reunion” that I personally haven’t attended for years. I’m a girl, but I’m the firstborn of my siblings so my first name has Lee in it. I now have two kids of my own, a two year old and a five month old. Both of them are boys, neither of them have Lee anywhere close to their name. I love my family, but to be honest several of them are insanely racist and I just made the decision that I didn’t want to carry on the name or have my kids be any part of their bullshit. Who cares about some dead guy who lost his fight anyways. I’m convinced no one in my family actually cares about the “heritage” or ol’ Rob himself at all, he just happens to be famous so my family is a slut for the name. Obviously it’s been a bit of a hot topic recently. We have a “Lee family reunion” Facebook page, and the elders have been a bit snippy about the name not being carried on lately. Apparently a lot of people think it’s a really big deal and that all the attention shouldn’t be focused on the actions, but the “family” and the “heritage”. AITA for not continuing the tradition? ######

NTA I too am related to Lee. Not a descendant, but he was the cousin to one of my ancestors. You're not an asshole for not carrying on the tradition. And obviously Robert E. is not one that is great to glorify. That having been said, if you are interested, the family history surrounding that Lee branch is fascinating. The line can be traced back to England a thousand years and to some historic figures who (I think) are far more interesting than Lee himself. Lots of good info out there! ######

I just gave birth to my daughter. Of course my MIL is crazy over the top, over the moon. She wants to come over all the time to see the baby. I’m ok with that. I really am. I can use some company and advise. My only request is that she please call me first ahead of time. Call me so I can change out of my sloppy baby puked on clothes or put the dogs in another room so they don’t overwhelm her or just for the simple fact that I am not a big fan of surprises. Anyway instead of respecting my wishes she tells the entire family that I’m a snob who doesn’t want her to visit even though I explained she’s always welcome and I would never say no just please call me ahead of time. Now I’m getting snarky remarks from family members. Am I being unreasonable? ######

NTA I think you should start saying no. I think you're going to cause yourself a lot of trouble and the future, but not making boundary while the baby is still a little. There is absolutely nothing wrong with telling someone that if they don't call you're not going to let them in the house. Your mother-in-law might be an absolutely lovely woman, but she is showing a lot of selfish qualities bad-mouthing you to members of the family. And I think once someone starts throwing a s*** fit about normal boundaries, the boundaries get thicker. I think you simply need to say that as a new mother you're trying to get the baby on a feeding and sleeping schedule, you don't have a lot of time to sleep, so you need her to text you if she wants to come over and you will tell her if it's okay. ######

So me and my ex fiancé were planning on getting married next week with only 20 people (corona has died down dont attack me). Well last month my brother passed away in a car accident where he got rammed by a drunk driver and both fell into the lake. This hurt me alot as we were close and he hit 6 months sober and we were proud. Well after that i wanted to honor my brother by wearing his favorite suit(we both are 6'2 and both about 180-190). Its a silky white suit and it fits me almost perfectly with only the wrist being a little tight. I had tild everyone and people were fine but my in laws and ex.They got upset saying im honoring a drug addict and i shouldn't be mourning someone who was bad. They also said its not a traditional black suit and i shouldn't wear it. Ex said i shouldnt mourn a death during a our wedding. I got pissed as i dont like people disrespecting my brother especially if he is DEAD. So i say its not your wedding to my inlaws and Ex saying its not just about me and i have to be fair. I tell her i am as i let her wear what she wanted. She gets mad ands says that she doesn't want me wearing a suit of a man who did drugs,and wasn't Catholic (he was agnostic) there for he isnt part of god. This pissed me off an i said you know what the wedding is over. She then said fine i never wanted to marry into a family of drug addicts any way(my brother was the only one who did it). And i said thats it were done and broke up with her. This was 2 days ago and im still getting messaged and harased about me "ruining" her day and i wonder if i went too far. Aita? ######

NTA I think you dodged a bullet there ######

So every wednesday I Hoover/wash the floors in my house (I'm 14M) I like to leave my dog outside while I'm washing the floors because he has a habit of "leaving feces" on the wet floor. Dont know why he does it. We have a neighbouring family directly across the street from us and the eldest child has autism (not sure what type, but I know he cant bare loud or high pitched noises) So today when I let my dog out for approx 20 minutes while I washed the floor, he began to bark after about 10ish minutes, not sure why because he never usually barks but he decided to do that today. So i wash the floors, let the dog back in and I began to put the hoover/mop back in the cupboard when I hear a knock on my door and to my surprise the police are at the door, so I open it and I'm informed that the neighbour called the cops because of my dog, I basically apologise and the cop scolds me because apparently " I made the neighbours son have a mental breakdown because I refused to take care of my dog" After the cop leaves I'm just left flabbergasted, because I doubt my dog barking for 10ish minutes forced her son to have a mental breakdown, even though there house is a good 150 feet from our back garden. So I'm sat on the sofa thinking if putting my dog outside was an a-hole move or not, but I'll let you judge that. So reddit, was I the A-Hole? ######

NTA I sympathize with your neighbours struggles, but they aren't your problem. You weren't refusing to take care of your dog, you doing the responsible thing to avoid stressing him out while you do your chores. ######

So in the UK the minimum hourly wage is based on age. For an 18-21 year old, me, it’s £6.45 however for a 25+ it’s around £8.50. Because of this low wage and working 30 hours (26.5 with breaks) a week at a crappy minimum wage retail job I only make about £170 a week. £680 a month. £8,160 a year. That doesn’t take into account being sent home early, unpaid sick days ect ect. So I’m about £4,000 short annually to pay taxes. Two weeks ago my boss was complaining that taxes were going to be going up because the government is paying out furloughs. She asked me what I thought about paying more tax next year and I said: “I don’t earn enough to pay taxes, so it won’t really be my problem.” She stood there confused and said: “Oh but you’ll be paying taxes some day.” So I quickly replied with: “If I keep this job and the same hours I won’t be paying taxes for the next 7 years because I earn that little at this job. I’m not complaining about not paying taxes but it just shows how little this job pays me. My boss stood there god smacked, gritting her teeth at me, and didn’t know what to say. A week later, last Saturday, I got called into the managers office where I was confronted by my manager, the assistant manager and the operations director of the company. To which I was verbally ganged up on by the three of them. All because I offended my manager by complaining about how little I get paid and that I should be great full to even have a job in the first place. I just sat there and took it for half an hour. Eventually I got fed up of this and walked out of the shop and my shift. So AITA here? I know I talked back to my manager ######

NTA I still remember at one of my first jobs when the boss was complaining about how he had to pay $20k in federal taxes. He wasn't thrilled when I said "must be nice! I don't even **earn** that much here". Nothing came of it, though. There were maybe 5 other employees there who also chimed in like me... and his whole point was basically to rub our poverty in our faces anyway. (Fuck you, Charles.) ######

I(25f) recently had a child and my husband(29m) didn’t show up until about an hour after I had given birth. I asked why he took so long to get here and he told me he had to help his friend clean their garage and that he planned to be here after it was done. I got furious at him for prioritizing someone’s clean garage over his wife going into labor. He says that he doesn’t see it as a big deal and says that he feels like he shouldn’t have to go if he didn’t want to. I was really hurt by that comment and I’m not sure if I should have been mad. AITA ######

NTA I sincerely hope this isn’t real, because your husband sounds like a prick. ETA: That you’re most definitely NTA. And you deserve so, so much better. ######

Some background: I come from India but Im attending a college in the UK after accepting a scholarship. So this started 7 months ago, so I told my family that I after I finish college I'm going to stay in the UK, I half heartedly thought they were going to be supportive but knowing my culture I knew that they were most likely going to be absolutely pissed and I was right, they were pissed as hell. Apparently I needed to marry our rich neighbor's son who was extremely average looking and also extremely traditional and they had already arranged marriage and I was extremely shocked, they expected me to still be immersed and obedient to our culture when im attending college in a different country for 4 YEARS, I told them that our culture was pure bullshit and I'm not going to go back to india. A month later I get a call, the call was from our neighbor, they told me that my actions are sinful and an insult to god, and even worse the son joined and called me a whore, I told them that I will never accept the arranged marriage and to fuck off, after that I cut all contact will all my friends and family in india. So Reddit AITA? ######

NTA I really hope that you don't have to go home to India for the holidays or in the foreseeable future. It could be dangerous for you. https://karmanirvana.org.uk has already been mentioned here, they do amazing work. ######

Our 16F daughter recently came out and to be honest I don’t care and think there is nothing wrong with it.However,my wife thinks it’s weird,and has been acting hateful to our daughter.The other day she told me she’s thinks it’s wrong and that men are for women.I told her it doesn’t matter and that I only care about my daughters happiness.She told me she’s gonna try to do something to change our daughters mind.I straight up told her if she doesn’t Like our daughter for who she is then she doesn’t deserve her.She started getting mad saying it’s her daughter and that she loves her and needs to fix her.I told her what do you mean fix our daughter she’s perfectly fine.I told her she was of shit parent for not excepting our daughter and that I wouldn’t be surprised if our daughter cut her out of her life.She got mad at me a kicked me out on the couch.AITA ######

NTA I really don't think there's any further explanation needed for that. Please do not let your wife try to 'fix her' ######

I recently finished my internship and I offered them to hire me. I enjoyed my time there and hoped I could earn some extra money over the holiday season. My boss and colleagues liked to keep me but the management insisted that they would not hire anybody. Fast forward to this weekend. I get a message from my boss that he needed my help for 4 days( Tuesday to Friday) and that I could have somebody to help me. Details would be discussed on Monday. Job would be simple and anybody could do it from home. That weekend, we were sitting with our group of friends and this comes up. A friend(girl) says that she has plenty of time and can help me out. I write it down. The next day I tell my own girlfriend that I may have some work. It would depend on what is discussed on Monday. She is kinda excited to work with me. However she also said that she has a barber appointment(1+ hour gone) on Tuesday and work on Friday. Monday comes up and my boss tells me he needs two people for 4 days. I accepted this and asked the friend that could help for. 4days. I called my girlfriend with the bad news and now she is sad, disappointed and angry at me. Am I the asshole for making this choice? ######

NTA I mean, she told you she couldn't work certain days/times and over that time is when the help is needed. If you want a possible future permanent job from this company you have to come across as good and reliable, if someone you bring along to this job can't work and has to dip out that looks bad on you and could ruin any possible future dealings with them. Explain that to your gf and say if it comes up again and she is free to work the entire length of the job then you will bring her along, but that was not the case this time. ######

In have this new coworker, 22F. She has been here less than a year and comes with a limited amount of experience. Nonetheless she is a very Type-A coworker and has identified herself a future manager. As such she is very directive in talking and often points at people when addressing them, snaps her fingers when requesting information or asking/telling someone to do a job. We all take turns in the position of “workload supervisor” and she is a little overbearing when it’s her turn. A while ago I told her immediately after a finger snapping incident (she was requesting information and was snapping to get my attention and was quite persistent) that she needs to stop. She sort of agreed but really just defended her actions as she said she just wants to make sure things are done right. I told her no, never again, it’s disrespectful. I have since told her on 2 more separate occasions to stop. She persists. AITA for wanting to make her stop snapping? (Hey, flipnsip. *snap* I need this done. *snap* *snap* Now. ** ) For the record, manager is aware of her type-a leanings and just believes that is how she is. Most coworkers hope she grows up and stops. They find her irritating and immature but hope she is either going to improve or go on maternity leave. At no point is her work anything other than average no matter her own perceived level of importance. I honestly try to avoid her but cannot stand the *snapping*. Not at me or any other coworker. ######

NTA I know it would be very very rude, but you might have to start snapping your fingers back at her to get your point across. ######

Pretty simple story. I recently bought condoms with my face. Not exactly bought, but a friend gave me a gift card to this website. I just went to a website, submitted a photo, and voila. In 3 months I got a package of around 1000 condoms. I didn’t know what to do with that many condoms. So, I just gave a lot of them to my friends. It doesn’t show my face in the package, so it’ll be a pleasant surprise. When I told my fiancée about it, she got really mad. She said that it’s akin to cheating. We did talk over it, and we both apologized. I just want to know, if I was truly in the wrong. So, AITA? ######

NTA I have many questions, however... ######

So a few months back my cat Figaro had been acting a little strange, like not eating and just sitting there not doing anything, and I (12M) immediately told my mom that we should get him to the vet, so that’s what we did. Now mind you Figaro is/was 9 at the time, so he had quite a few more years in him, and at the vet the doctor checked him out and he said the only real issue was that he basically was constipated and just needed a few days for it all to get flushed out. Come next week he’s still not eating and my whole family is sort of panicking, so we decide to take him in one more time, and the same thing happened. The doctor said he was just constipated. Then a few more days go by and nothing has changed. Two days later we find out he had major heart failure and had to be put down. Me and my mom were furious. Because the worst part was if that doctor would have taken the goddamn time to actually look instead of just say “Oh yeah he’s just constipated give it a few days”. Anyways, we IMMEDIATELY took our business to another veterinarian in the area, and some friends of ours who also go to that vet have been saying we over reacted and should give them another chance. So Reddit, AWTA? Edit 1: sorry if my grammar and or English is a little fucked rn it’s 2 in the morning lol ######

NTA I have changed vets for far less. If you aren’t confident they are doing their best then there is no need to be loyal. They are a business. ######

Let me set the stage for you first, due to the economy and culture here, we usually live in the same house with our parents; even if we want to move out, it's hard to find a decent apartment with rent lower than our monthly salary (about $200-$350 are the starting salary here). So my dad in his younger years found it really hard looking for and staying at a job due to his severe asthma. He lived off the money my mom sent for us while she worked in another country. Don't get me wrong he was a great dad, had his ups and downs but we got along great. Earlier today he told me about his dream of me becoming successful, being able to get a new house, cars and having a great family. He was happy telling me his dream. Then it got to the part where he said that he'll stay with me, me providing for him when he gets more older, me taking him to places he wanted to go. I had to stop him there, and it went okay. Then after a few hours, he told me again his dream and now he was thinking of what I need to do for him. I told him to stop but he just kept on going, which irritated me. I told him again that I don't want to hear it, but he goes on and on. And theeeenn, I kinda exploded in his face telling him that "I am not your retirement plan. You wanted a good life? Then you should've thought about that before instead of you thinking that I'll carry your broke butt to good senior years. You kept saying that you're strong and so proud that your last asthma attack when I was in first grade. Then why didn't you look for a job then? Why didn't you think of your senior years before? I told myself that I'm gonna help you when I finally get the good life I wanted, but I am not taking you with me." Then I stormed out. It was quiet for the whole day after. ######

NTA I have asthma; it doesn't keep me from working. Heck, my brother has awful asthma and has had part of a lung removed because of how often he's had pneumonia and he has still managed to work. Something I often wonder when I read these sorts of filial piety posts: When parents use cultural expectations to demand support from their child, how often have they provided a similar level of support to their own parents? For instance, your father wants you to work and let him live in a house with you and buy him cars and other luxuries. Did he work, have his parents live in his house, and did he buy them luxuries? If he's not currently working and supporting his elder family members, he can't expect you to fulfill his expectations for this "social contract". ######

So I work at a fast food shop, and we close at 9 PM. We technically close at 9:15 for people who are in shop, but given corona, we do not allow people to eat inside. Every sign says 9 PM, so not many people (if any) know about the 9:15. Also, not every manager follows 9:15, and sometime it just depends on the day. Someone came in the drive-thru at 9:01, and before I could say anything, my manager told me not to. Most of my coworkers will not say anything to potential customers who go through the drive-thru after we close, and just let them sit there. I personally do not like doing that, so I make sure I say "thank you for choosing [job], unfortunately we do close at 9 PM but for your convenience we will be open at 11 AM]". Most of the time, people will just say okay and drive off. I also have a very high pitch customer service voice, and sometimes I wonder if it sounds sarcastic or b*tchy. I don't mean it that way, but it could be taken that way. Anyways, when I told this woman that we close at 9, her response was "wow I'm 1 minute late, f*cking b*tch." I was told to not say anything, and would have had to take and make the entire order myself, as my coworkers had closing tasks to do so we did not get out late. AITA for not taking her order, given that she was only one minute late? ######

NTA I hate people who cuss at workers. ######

I am class of 2020. I hated my high school with a burning passion. I would get bullied a lot and I was also sexually harassed. I want to put that part of my life completely behind me and not go back. so I've been cutting most people from that school out. I have been unfollowing and unfriending people on all social medias and made a new Snapchat account. I am getting called out for this though. I don't understand why I personally because I didn't do well in high school and most of those people know that. just wondering if I'm the one in the wrong ######

NTA I graduated about a decade ago, have zero contact with anyone from high school and certainly don’t regret it. High school sucked and so did the people lol. They are mad now but a) their opinions don’t even matter and b) they will be leaving most of those people behind soon enough anyways. Focus on who you want to be, make good friends when you can (it gets harder as you get older to meet people to be friends with, plus adult life pulls you apart), and don’t let anyone from your past hold you back. ######

My sister has 3 children under 5. She works full time due to choice. She always says that while her husband makes more than enough to support the family in a middle class lifestyle, she can’t imagine being home with all the kids all day. Right now, she’s at home working 12 hours a week for full pay. My BIL is a consultant, so he’s working about 20 hours a week right now for full pay since most people are engaging his company’s services. I’ve heard nonstop complaining from both of them about how hard it is to be with the kids. This is nothing new. If we’re visiting on a Saturday and we head outside with one parent to grab food out of the car, both parents will be horrified that the other was left alone for 5 minutes. I don’t have kids, but I have nannied for a family of 4 and worked at a daycare. I feel that sometimes, their reactions are over the top. They chose to have the kids, and that means that they have to actually spend some time with them. When my sister was complaining on the phone yesterday, I said “yeah, but they could be good, because you get to be with your kids more than usual.” She said: “obviously you have no idea how hard it is to be around them this much.” I said: “well you knew it could be when you chose to have them.” She hung up with me and we haven’t talked since. AITA here? ######

NTA I get your sister’s pain, I’m in my house with one kid. I’ve always worked full time so it’s a whole new adjustment to be at home with kiddo 24/7, especially when he has aspergers and is NOT happy with his whole life routine changing..... But my god, one of my pals has 3 kids and every. Single. Day. She’s on the phone complaining. If I say this is hard she’ll say HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL I HAVE THREE!!! Eventually said well you fuckin well chose to have 3, there’s a reason I was one and done! Anyway, make child mind child. ######

Hello, I am relatively young and my first language is English so flame me if I get anything wrong. Recently I dated this girl and everything was fine at first, I let her use my belongings (My drawing pad, hoodies and some other items) under the condition that I would get them back eventually. I never asked for the items back when we were dating because I didn’t really have any use for them. After we broke up, I asked her if I could have the items back and she said sure, I waited 2 days for her to return them but during that period I heard rumours that she was planning to destroy the hoodies and the other stuff, I confirmed this from mutual friends and I asked again if I could have them back but this time she laughed in my face and told me that I would never get them back. I didn’t know what to do after that so I told her I would call the police for theft, she told me to calm down and she returned the items the next morning. I got called out for it afterwards because I apparently over reacted and scared the shit out of her, so I was wondering, AITA? TL:DR Ex had my stuff, refused to give it back so I threaten to call the police for theft ######

NTA I get her keeping your stuff to piss you off, but honestly what did she expect?? You to just sit tight and watch your property get destroyed from the shadows? That's the shit you can take legal action for. Her life could have been set back by a lot, or even destroyed if she went through with destroying them, and all because you broke up. ######

So today I resigned from my job. I't was apparently a 'graduate position' and my first job out of college. As soon as I joined the company, the head of my department quit and 4 weeks later once she actually left, I was in charge of the department. I was responsible for all the clients accounts and was extremely stressful and I was not well equipped nor trained well enough for the job. I don't even know what I'm doing half the time and no one is around to help. So this affected my mental health badly. I told my boss this and gavethem warning that I was at risk of leaving. At the start of this month all employees took a 20% wage reduction. As it was still considered a 'graduate position' I was on almost minimum wage. After the 20% cut I was below minimum wage and was given a contract to sign to consent to the reduction. I informed my employer of the potential illegal document and I got scalded for questioning this (she's a lawyer and was very butter that I would accuse her, a lawyer of creating an illegal contract. I requested my employer to put me on minimum wage which they rejected my request as they couldn't afford it. So I resigned today leaving the whole accounting service team with no members. Everyone at the firm hates me for it right now and have guilted me and made me feel like an asshole for leaving. Anyway that sums up the story more or less so let me know what you guys think. ######

NTA I dunno which country you live in, but you can't take a paycut like that if it's below minimum wage. ######

To preface this, I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a couple months and she has a variety of mental health issues, including severe social anxiety. One thing she has started doing is making this extremely loud high pitched scream whenever she feels emotion, like when she’s very happy, shocked, and as a greeting. It wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t so loud, it stresses me out and hurts my ears whenever she makes the sound, which is dozens of times a day. I ask her every time to stop or at try to be quieter, but she said it’s just instinctual now to do it and can’t/won’t stop and I can tell she doesn’t like it when I tell her to quit. ######

NTA I don’t really see how screaming as a greeting has anything to do with mental health issues. It would be different if she was doing it only when distressed, but this is weird I may get downvoted loads for this but your girlfriend sounds like an attention seeker. Unless she has Tourette’s, or a learning disability, then this is really inappropriate behaviour for an adult. If she wants to act this way around likeminded friends (there’s a lot of grown up people who seem to enjoy behaving like this) then that’s up to her. But she’s got to understand that in most contexts it’s going to annoy people ######

Okay so, this might be a little weird so I’ll try and explain it. Basically, out of all of my family I am the only one who has thick curly hair. I mother swears up and down that she never cheated on my dad (although I’m pretty sure he still doesn’t believe it) And because of my curly hair, I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve had people come squealing up to me going “OMG YOUR HAAAAAIR” and the proceeding to literally fist my hair and pull on my curls just to watch them bounce back up It’s really fucking irritating. There is no need for a grown ass woman to come up to me and start feeling up my hair with no warning. It’s a little more understanding when a child does, but not a grown fucking adult. The amount of times I’ve had to tell people to keep their hands to themselves is astonishing. So I’m hatching a plan that the next time someone touches my hair, I’m gonna touch them right back. An eye for an eye. If they think it’s okay to touch me without permission, then I’m just gonna assume I can do the same. My mother says it’s not worth it and quite frankly childish. It may very well be true, but this is my personal space god dammit. Luckily it isn’t that much of an issue as of right now, but I know damn well it’s gonna start back up again once everything has calmed down. ######

NTA I did this to people who randomly and without asking would touch my belly when I was pregnant. It’s always a bit rewarding to see the look on someone’s face when they come at you thinking they can just. Touch without asking. And then you give them a couple good belly rubs. I imagine it’s quite similar with hair as well. ######

I (24f) am a night owl with ADHD. Everything I have succeeded at doing in life (my degree, working nightshifts, making a profit from my business) has been done when my body functions at it's best (at night). My mother (59f) and my sister (35F) have made it their new obsession to ensure I wake up at the same time as they do and will wake me up if I do not. I don't usually live at home, I live abroad but because of the unusual circumstances - I am at home. They regard my body clock as a character flaw and won't stop giving me unwanted advice that they've found on youtube on how I can change it. AITA ######

NTA I could have said NAH, but if they are getting aggressive about it, it makes them TA. You may be a better person than I, but I would start walking them up at my preferred time to give them a dose of their own medicine. ######

To start this off, today is my birthday. I woke up a little extra early and told him half-asleep I wouldn't be back to bed - only reason for doing so is since he has a tendency of noticing I'm not in bed and sleepily looking for me. So I ended up in the living room using the laptop - the screen facing away from the bedroom. The alarm goes off at the usual time and I go to wake him as he claims the alarm doesn't wake him. He gets up and is a grouch all morning, stating me being awake throws off his morning and he hadn't planned for me to be awake - down to I should somehow know ahead of time to give him notice. I ask him to please stop, that I'd rather not be snapped at on my birthday, and it's one day out of maybe six months to a year I woke up early. He continues up until leaving for work, blaming me for his morning sucking while I'm pissed I couldn't even get a "happy birthday" before he settled into grumpy mode. AITA For being upset my husband was snappy at me? ######

NTA I can't even begin to understand his logic. He sounds terribly controlling and unpleasant. ######

A bit of background: I (24F) don’t shave. Anything. I have arm hair, armpit hair, leg hair, pubes, even some ass hair. I’m very pale and have dark hair so it’s very noticeable. TL;DR at the end. I started talking to a guy on Tinder almost 2 months ago. We talked for a few weeks and he asked me on a date. (The dates happened before the whole situation. Stay at home, folks) We have a really great date and I ask him out again, this time to my place. We are starting to hook up, I get undressed, and he sees my leg hair. He makes an uncomfortable “forgot to shave in the winter?” joke and I inform him that I never shave. He freaks out and scrambles to get dressed. He tells me I’m gross and I should have warned him before he wasted all this time on me. I understand that it could be a dealbreaker, and it wouldn’t upset me if it was for him, I was just upset with the way he handled it. In my defense, I just never think about it. I haven’t shaved since I was in high school. The hair on my body is just part of me. I’ve only ever dated 2 people before him. One was a woman who also didn’t shave, and the other was guy who didn’t care. My friends and family are split on this. My mom and sister, who also think I’m gross, agree with him but most of my friends are on my side. I do feel bad he felt tricked, but how am I supposed to bring this up before going on a date/sleeping together? AITA for not telling him I don’t shave? TL;DR: I have body hair, didn’t mention it to a guy before we went on a date, he gets upset. ######

NTA I bet 10 bucks and a sloppy BJ that he wasn't shaved either ######

I own about 10 plaid shirts, all different colours, I wear them all regularly, and my go to outfit is jeans, a tank top, and a plaid shirt. My dad hates that I dress like this and always pointedly asks me if I want to change or if I really need to be wearing that, and he's actually "joked" about burning my shirts on the BBQ before now, but I paid for them, I like them, and it's not like I'm making him wear them. I'm reorganising my bedroom. My room is fairly small and I don't have a lot of space, so I decided to take out my chest of drawers and put a hanging shoe rack and some over the door coat hangers in. One is over my actual bedroom door holding my coats/jackets, and I decided to put my collection of plaid shirts on the other. There are other plain shirts on this rack but they're all buttoned and dad hates all of them. I can't hang them inside my wardrobe because due to my reorganisation the space they used to occupy is now taken up with jeans/joggers, non buttoning shirts, and shoes. This rack was meant to go over my wardrobe door in a way that when it shut the shirts would be inside, but it didn't close properly, so I've had to hang it off the side of my wardrobe instead. I finished everything up yesterday and I really like it, but dad has come in, seen the shirt rack, and just rolled his eyes. Next time he came in he asked if I had to put those there and I told him the wardrobe wouldn't shut with it inside. Next thing I know mum's come in and told me to take the rack down, said dad's raging over it, wants the whole thing gone and is totally fuming. Thing is, I like it. I don't want to take it down. It took me 2 days and a fair chunk of change to get everything just how I want it, I don't want to change it. AITA for not taking it down? ######

NTA I assume that you're a woman and he buys into the whole 'plaid=gay' stereotype, which makes him even more of an asshole. If you're a man then idk maybe your mom dated a lumberjack in college? Either way he's being ridiculous. ######

So basically my nephew wanted to watch a film at the cinema but it was a 15 rated film. (In the UK we have 12, 15, and 18 rated films) He's really into special effects and stuff so I knew he wouldn't be scared by it so I told him to just say he's 15. His mother found out, got really angry at me and told me I wasn't allowed in her home ever again. I told her she's being ridiculous and her son is fine. She said she wants him "on the right path" and I'm encouraging him to commit a crime. I told her to get a grip and she said she needs to be in control for him to succede. I lost it and told her she is just a narcissistic bitch who's scared that she can't control and micromanage every aspect of her sons life. She screamed and I left AITA ######

NTA I am British as well. There is not one of us that has not been to see one of these films when we were below the age prescribed. Everyone starts going to 15s at 13 or 14 and everyone goes to 18 movies at 16 or 17. It is just what we do. That level of parental controlling behaviour is simply not normal for the UK. He's your nephew. This kind of thing in our country is perfectly normal. Her reaction is not. The American audience on here will be alarmed and come at it from the point if view of their own cultural attitudes, but those are simply not British ones. You weren't showing him porn or lighting up a joint. You would deserve that reaction if so. But I would say this honestly to the American and other non UK audience on here; in our country this would not be a big deal and the parent's reaction is an unusual one ######

My parents and I have been having an argument. My parents sat me down and asked me about my grades. I told them all the ones that I know. Some of my teachers don't post the grades to Google Classroom so I don't know what some of them are. I have 4 confirmed a's (3 are above 95%) and 3 b's. I'm in 8th grade. Right now I get 2 30 minute sections of game time per day after I do school, homework, and the extra 1hr of math that my mom tells me to do. Our school has a placement test for high school that helps the teachers decide what math class to put us in. I ***chose*** to be put into the 'lower' (i don't know a better word) math class. I've been not doing as good as my parents want me to in math. This happened during the grade conversation. My parents after hearing that I chose to be put into that math class got very mad that I didn't want to go the the higher math. About an hour after I told them the grades that I know and that I was going to the 'lower math', they told me to study more. I've been studying more, about 2-3 hours each day+studying during classes. They cut my video game time down to 1 30 minutes after they have checked to see if I've done all my homework. I got mad and asked them why, and my mom said, "We are done talking about this." After that I went and studied math for an extra hour to try to make them happy. They are still mad at me for having the grades that I have atm. I'm studying more, but they don't seem to see it. AITA for getting mad in this argument enough that my parents had to shut me down? sorry for rambling ######

NTA I always hate parents who are like "you aren't in the advanced classes? You just must not be trying hard enough. No more fun, only studying until you perform at a level that 'we know you can'. And we know you can, because we believe that our parenting is so awesome that we have birthed a winner!" ######

So my dad started a small business, and it grew to be pretty big. We have a few locations in our area. I’m going to be pretty vague about it for anonymity. He and I always worked together on it, when I was little he would teach me about it, and in high school I helped work there, and I worked there throughout my 20s. He transferred ownership to me a few years ago because he was diagnosed with cancer, and couldn’t take the stress of running it full time, but he really still helped make all the big decisions. He passed a few months ago, and I’ve recently gotten a call from my sister, who I haven’t talked to in a long time(probably 5 years now?). She never showed any interest in the business when she was young, and then after college moved away and hardly even called my parents. She’s lost her job and wants to work for me because it’s the “last memory of our dad”. I think she’s bullshitting and just wants a job where she’s not going to get fired because it’s family. I told her no, and if she had any interest in it she would have shown it in the time our dad was still alive. My mom is telling me I should at least let her try to show she cares, but I don’t think I have any obligation to someone who left without so much as a visit to our dying dad, who now just wants the rewards for what we worked on. AITA? ######

NTA However, I would recommend that you consider allowing her to apply, but apply through the usual method and her application be considered against other applicants in the same manner as any other applicant. Don't give her any advantage in the application process, nor in any position. If your business is large enough, you're not involved in every hiring process. You don't need to be involved if your sister applies to work at your business. ######

Our dog usually eats tinned food or chub rolls, but every now and then she gets a special treat: two packets of ready to eat smoked mackerel from the fish section of the supermarket freezer. There's usually two or three fillets in each pack. She doesn't get the fillets whole, they're broken up into her bowl. This is easiest to do by hand. I strip the skin off the back, put the fillet back on the packaging, rip the skin apart, then break the fillet up. Every now and then I pop a small piece of fish into my mouth. When I mentioned this to some of my online friends they said this is wrong, and disgusting. Even though it's from the human section of the supermarket, the fact that it was bought for the dog makes it "off limits" for my eating in their mind. AITA for eating parts of my dog's meal as I was preparing it for her? ######

NTA Holy shit the lengths people will go to to be offended. You're not eating dog food, the dog is eating people food. More to the point...it's JUST FOOD. ######

Just for context: I (F18) have dated a guy (M22) for about 9 months, but never really loved him. He knew it, because at the first time he asked me, I denied, saying that I only see him as a friend. So he told me that if I didn't date him, he wouldn't have a reason to live - I was sooooo worried that I ended up accepting. We had a really bad relationship and broke up several times, but he always came to my door crying to ask for a chance and I was too afraid to deny since I knew what he would do. In January, I received a very good job offer in another city, so I won't work with him anymore. A couple days after I started to work, he broke up with me. The inner me was so glad that he did it, to be honest. Months without seeing him and working in a good place, I finally discovered that I'm lesbian. That explains a lot in our relationship as a couple. His friends found out my twitter and saw me talking about Pride Month, 2 of them even replied to me saying that I was just confused because I had dated a guy before. I didn't care at first, but an ex friend of mine texted me saying that I'm destroying his life because everyone is making fun of him for making me 'turn out as a lesbian' and I told her that it's not my problem because I have no control of what they do and say, she said that I'm insensitive towards him because I know he has problems with depression and anger, which is true. (Don't be so focused on our relationship. This is about my decision to come out knowing all his problems). ######

NTA His mental health is not your responsibility. ######

There’s a lot going on here but I’ll keep it as short as possible. My husband and I live fairly close to his parents (like 15 min) and his brother who has severe intellectual disabilities at age 36. My husband is a doctor and with the pandemic we’ve decided to live apart for the time being so he doesn’t have to worry about accidentally infecting me. So now I’ve moved in with my in laws and his brother. I love his in laws like my own parents. His brother, however, is another story. He’s disabled but he has an incredibly foul mouth and very offensive opinions that he’s formed from years surfing deep corners of the internet. But he’s disabled and is not all there sometimes, so I do my best to help out and keep my mouth shut. Last Saturday I was going on a walk with him (daily exercise) when we were walking past this big grocery store parking lot. We see a dad and son loading groceries into their car and my BIL started yelling racial insults at them (they were Asian). I was horrified and I tried pulling him away. But it was heartbreaking seeing the look on the little boy’s face and the exhausted/defeated expression on his dad’s face as they drove away. I was so angry that night I called my husband and basically told him I will rent a hotel room myself because I can’t stand another minute in the same house as his brother. It’s been a week and my husband has told me he can’t sleep because he’s so upset over what I told him. I admit I used harsh words and fully laid out my feelings to him. He said he still loves his brother and can’t stand the thought of us never getting along. AITA for telling him directly how I felt about this brother? I’m wondering if I should’ve just kept it to myself. ######

NTA Hey, I get disabilities . . . But listen, if the guy is smart enough to use the internet and impressionable enough to learn these toxic behaviors from those dark corners of the internet, he is capable of learning other behaviors too. Like, politeness. The disability card is sometimes necessary, but sometimes it means people don't ever try to hold these individuals to any standards. You do not have to like this. You do not have to feel comfortable around this, or fix it. ######

Hello there! I'm a very friendly person and I'll chat with anyone and I always keep things light, casual, and non-committal because I love my space and privacy. I logged into Facebook after YEARS off and decided to join my neighborhood community group of homeowners. Afterwards, a few of my neighbors requested to add me as a friend. I had no problem with that. We would casually chat over posts and comments, nothing ever more serious than 'Star Wars is awesome!', etc. A neighbor who had requested me posted something about minimalism and I commented that I used to live in a tiny home and how great it was. She mentioned she and her husband did, too and we both have Huskies so we LOL'd online about how much vacuuming we have to do. She then immediately sends me a private message (1st time she comminutes privately) and says: 'Please don't message on my personal Facebook page like you know me.' 'I have never met you in my entire life' 'You have a lot of audacity or you're just rally (sic) lonely' I replied back 'I've obviously upset and offended you and that wasn't my intention. I'm going to unfriend you now'. She replied back 'I already unfriended you' and I replied 'Thanks' and that was that. I'm so baffled. I have a bit of social anxiety and I would hate to make someone feel uncomfortable. I ended up deactivating my Facebook and making my Instagram and Twitter private. AITA here? I'm not sure what I did to elicit such a reaction from a neighbor. ######

NTA Her sending a friend request would mean to any reasonable person that they were interested in chatting. (edit) somehow this is my most upvoted comment by over 10x ######

Divorce is weird. One part of our settlement was subscription services such as Amazon Prime, Netflix, etc. I had to legally maintain them for 6 months. I don’t know if I was being taken advantage of, but it’s far too late now. Yesterday, when the 6 months were up, I cancelled every single subscription service I had and got new ones with a new credit card. My ex was furious. Apparently, a couple of her orders got “cancelled” because the account got deleted. I mean, it’s my account, she could only use it for 6 months, and she did. She’s also complaining that she can’t afford Netflix now, with just her unemployment check. Yeah, because Netflix is a necessity. A couple of our mutual friends are calling me an asshole because “she’s struggling”. Yeah, I honestly don’t care. She’s not my SO, nor is she my friend. She had a net negative impact on my life. So, AITA? ######

NTA Her friends could let your Ex use their Netflix. ######

I recently just started going to the gym because I am unhappy with my weight. I’m working with a personal trainer and doing a program that requires I do meal preparation from a specific cookbook. I now have to prepare seperate lunch and dinner from my wife, who refuses to eat what I’m cooking. This means that I buy my own individual groceries, while my wife orders from those companies that deliver fresh meals in individual bags that you cook yourself. These bags take up almost the entire fridge. I rearranged the fridge, and gave myself a single shelf so that I could keep my groceries and meals in a single place. When I told my wife I’d like her to leave that shelf for me she got really pissed at me, and called me selfish. She said she didn’t want to have to think about where she’s putting things in the fridge. This blew over, but today I saw a new tub of butter sitting on my shelf. I thanked my wife for buying it for me. She acted surprised and said she just bought butter it wasn’t especially for me. I mentioned it was on my shelf and she’s said “I forgot.” This really pissed me off, especially after the big fight. Am I the Asshole? ######

NTA Her food took up the whole fridge until you took the time to clean out a rearrange it, however you asking for a single shelf now is somehow selfish? She's being lazy and argumentative for no real reason. ######