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Backstory: So I have 4 siblings in total 3 brothers (ages of 19, 17 and 16) and 1 sister who is 12 and I am 14. Me and my sister share a room, and our brothers can eat enough for a small village. Like literally nothing lasts more than a day in my house and my parents refuse to buy anything until the week is up so there is never any snacks in the house. Me and my sister have started stock piling snacks in our room for us to share away from our brothers cause they would just eat it all. We keep it all in a little safe in our room, it is one of those electronic ones so it takes a code. We both came up with just 2 digits of the code and we don't tell each other so we don't hog more food for ourselves and its always fair when we get food. We were running low and I spent about 25 bucks filing it up, while she does put her own money in too I have way more cause I'm older and can actually leave the house tot he store by myself without anyone tagging along. I have noticed that the cabinet can barely stay full for more than 2 weeks and I am starting to lose a lot of money. She recently asked me if she could have something out of there close to dinner time and I told her no and to wait till after dinner if she was still hunger (dinner was about in 2 or 3 hours). She got upset and told me to just do her a favor and I refused. I said if she really wants something ill go to the store with her and she can buy something herself. She wasn't happy and said I'm being unreasonable. She was all pissy for the rest of the day and didn't speak to me for almost the whole day but got over it when we were going to bed. AITA? ######

NTA Who the asshole is? Your parents for not controlling their sons’ gluttony to the point their daughters feel the need to hoard food in a freaking safe. That’s just begging for eating disorders to develop. Snacks are great once in a while but they need to be eating more at main meals and not hogging all the snacks meant to last a week. ######

Hi all! I'm pretty sure I'm the asshole here but I wanted to be certain and maybe get a bit of advice on how to move Me [20F] and my bf [20M] were eating lunch in the kitchen today. We were reading funny Reddit comments to each other and I found an interesting fact on bees and decided to share it. This for context: "Male honey bees are called drones and their only purpose is reproduction. They don’t even have a stinger. When they succeed in mating with a queen, their genitals explode and they die. If they don’t succeed in mating with a queen, they are dragged out of the hive by the worker bees (female) before winter, and die." I told him this pretty excitedly because I thought it was the kind of cool slightly gross fact we love to share. He didn't think so and started getting aggressive over how it's a gendered offensive comment and I should basically know better. I tried to defuse it but it didn't work. He started talking about how it was unfair that men were getting attacked just for being male and that people are using animals to make extrapolations on men. I tried to explain it was a cool bee fact but he blamed me for reading gendered comments from shitty subreddits. He started going on about job inequalities and how women get more benefits and he stalked out of the kitchen. Later when he walked by me he said "Hi, Slut" really angrily. Now I'm sitting here 7 hours later and he's still furious at me. I'm pretty sure it was my bad from the start and I should have picked better things to share, but I feel his reaction is a bit unfair as well. AIT (only) A? ######

Nta Who calls their SO a slut? Assholes- thats who. ######

Last year, my husband and I adopted a baby boy. We have an open adoption agreement with his biological mother, meaning we send pictures and see her once a year. There will be more contact as well as he grows up, as well. When we met her, we knew she had an Instagram and YouTube page, where she talked about her journey. We found her through an agency, but she was up front about this. At the time, she didn’t have much of a following. In the past year, she has gained a bigger one. Not huge to the point where she’s well known, but she has 4,000 followers on Instagram and is growing. My husband and I are pretty private people and keep our social medias locked down. We decided that since she was growing so big, we were no longer comfortable with her posting pictures of our son on social media. We sent her this request and told her that while we would still keep sending pictures, seeing her, etc , we just didn’t want him on social media. She said that was her way of sharing pictures of him with distant family and I offered her alternatives, such as her emailing them the photos. All were meant with “sure, sure, sure”. Then today, Mother’s Day, she made a post of different types of moms and including pictures of her with him, both from his birth and then from our visit a few months ago. I texted her and said if she kept this up, I would limit pictures. She got upset and deleted the post, editing it to a post of her holding him, but his face wasn’t shown which I was fine with. But she told me that I was wrong to tell her how to “run her account”. Am I being difficult here? ######

NTA While you are being "difficult", as you put it, as his legal parents you have every right to do so and she should respect it. It's not that big of an ask really. ######

I'm (27M) a dad to an amazing 3 year old boy, unluckily he is the result of a ONS with a girl (25F) Julie. For the first 7 months I never even knew he existed. One day I got a message on FB from Julie telling me I had a son, I think I passed out there and then on the spot. I was living with my parents at the time and we arranged for Julie to come by in the next few days with the baby. I'm not going to lie I didn't do much talking that day I was still in shock. Through my mom and her talking it turns out her parents had pressured her into having the baby and raising it, but Julie just couldn't do it anymore and didn't want the baby anymore. After lots of talking and tears my parents and me made a plan of what to do next, lawyer, DNA test and courts. After all that and few months I end up with full time custody of our son, it wasn't easy but with the help of my parents we coped. For about a year I had a bit of contact with Julie but she never visited, I'd send pictures when she asked how he was doing, but she gradually stopped messaging as time went on. Me and Julie never had a formal child support payment plan in place, call it ego I just didn't want to go that route and she would give me a little bit for food and diapers when she could. But that dried up when the messaging stopped. There were times when I messaged Julie if she could help out and she always agreed, but she never came through and then stopped replying to me at all. After months of no contact my parents convinced me that I need to go back to court and get a formal order put in, which is what I did. This is where the shit hit the fan...I just got a flood of messages from Julie telling me how I'm wrecking her life and not letting her move on, how I'm just as bad as her parents trying to force her to be a mom and how she never wanted to be a mom in the first place. I never pushed her to be a mom to our son, I just think that she needs to help out sometimes. AITA for forcing her to pay? ######

NTA While I have some sympathy for Julie, in the end her child wanted or not is partly her responsibility. The interests of the kid comes first in a situation like this. She doesn’t need or have to play mum, she just needs to pay up and make sure the kid has a roof over their head and food in the fridge. ######

So this might be a long one but here goes. My girlfriend (F22) and I (M25) have been living together for about 2 years, during those 2 years I have been studying while at the same time working a part time job while my girlfriend has been working full time. We have seperate accounts but we split rent, electricity and groceries evenly. However when something has to be paid for e.g. new phone, new clothes, feeding for the guinea pigs/fish I pay, basically anything that isn't the standard things I pay for it. My reasoning for this is: its easier to keep track of expenses this way and it doesn't matter who's account it comes out of since it is our money anyway, because whenever we discussed these types of things we both agreed it was both our money. So now for my last year of studying I wont be able to work since I have to do like a full time intership with a thesis. Sorry I told her we could use some of the money we saved to pay for my college (about €10.000) and she told me I should save up for it on my own so I will be doing my best more (I have the money because everything that I always have left over I invest in the stockmarket). So I have done what she said and I now only buy stuff for myself since what I thought was our money has now apparently become her money. So today when she asked me to come with her buy more fish for the aquarium I told her since she decided to buy it without discussing it with me when I was gone, its her aquarium so I wont be helping her pick out fish nor pay for it since our finances are now apparently separate. She's now saying I can use "our" money to use for college but I declined and said I'd rather save up for it myself and keep our finances separate. So reddit AITA? ######

NTA When you wanted to use your “joint” finances for college she told you to save up for it separately. She’s only now changing her mind and saying you can use “our” money because your now not willing to pay for her to buy more fish and she’s realising she’s going to have to pay for them herself. I think the telling things seems to be that it’s only joint money when she benefits from it as well. In other words she’s getting something she wants out of it (in this case new fish) yet when it was only going to benefit you (I.e find your college tuition) she wanted you to save separately. I think you do need to sit down and have a proper discussion about finances. Because if this issue is coming up now whilst your in college and unable to work the hours you had been. There is a chance it will continue coming up in the future. ######

So I live next to a man, let's call him Cam, who's in his late 20's and is single. He is also openly gay. To express his identity, he attends the local pride parade every year, he hangs rainbow flags around his property and he has had multiple boyfriends, some of whom i've met. But for the past 6 months Cam's been single and I think he's getting rather lonely. Recently, he has started approaching me while i've been doing yardwork and joins me as I walk to get my mail every other day. We've been neighbours for almost 5 years now and he is well aware that i'm not gay. Regardless, he still makes an attempt to flirt with me. ( ie. sexual jokes, excessive winking, caresses my biceps and pecs, always inviting me for dinner) His advances have made me quite uncomfortable around him, as a result of this I have been intentionally avoiding him. I will often go back inside if he is hanging around the outside of my house, and I will go get my mail at extremely late hours. When I can't manage to avoid him, I try to ignore him or get the interaction done as quick as humanly possible. But last night he waited until 2:45 am for me to go get my mail. He ran up beside me and started asking me where i've been and why I have been ignoring him. I claimed that I had no idea what he was talking about and i've just been feeling under the weather. He didn't really buy it and kept persisting, it was that point that I did a complete 180 and sprinted back to my house. I've been locked inside for almost 24 hours now and i've seen him walk around the outside of my house a few times. TL;DR Gay neighbour flirts with me and I locked myself inside because of it. AITA? ######

NTA When I started reading this, I thought, the guy’s just lonely, just be friendly and polite. Then it got into harassment territory. My opinion is you should try explaining that he’s making you uncomfortable. If that doesn’t work (and it kinda sounds like it may not), then you may have to be more assertive in getting him to leave you alone (not mean or rude, just assertive). Good luck! ######

My dad died before I was born, and until I was about 7 it was just me and my mom. She started dating this guy at her work, he had 4 kids of his own all around my age. At first I liked it, cause it was nice to have a dad around and his kids were nice enough to me. The dated for about 7 years and though they weren't really married every vacation and holiday was spent at their place or they would come over to ours. The problems comes up when they officially got married about 10 months ago, we moved in with them cause they had a really big house. But they also lived 6 hours away from us, so that means my childhood neighborhood was gone, my childhood house was gone, all my childhood friends were gone, my school that I went to since pre-school was gone and I had to move 6 hours. As a result of all this I spend a lot of my time in my room, usually on face time with my friends or calling them. Last night they were having a family movie night and they invited me but my friends were all getting on for a FaceTime call and I opted out of the movie night to talk with my friends. After I was done talking my mom came into my room to lecture me about how I am "excluding" my new family. I said that it was too much change and I need time to adjust, she said I can but that I'm being a jerk with how I'm acting through this whole thing. AITA??? ######

NTA What you feel and what you’re doing is completely normal. I too had to move away from everything of my childhood so I have an idea of what you’re going through and I did the same thing. You’re mom however, I have mixed feelings about. I understand that she wants you to bond because she probably wants everyone to be a happy family and all that jazz. But the fact is that you were pulled away from basically everything you knew. You need time and forcing you to socialise isn’t always the answer. I feel like she lectured you because she was embarrassed about her son’s behaviour in front of her new family. Her step kids are paying a lot of attention as to how she deals with you because they know that she will be acting as a parent to them as well. You just need time and the ENTIRE family needs to know that ie, her, the husband and his kids. His kids weren’t moved. YOU were. To be honest, if my own mom had forced me to socialise when I moved, I would have surely resented her. I’m not sure if you’ll have the same response but keep an eye out for it. Furthermore, you’re 14 and though young, you’re your own person and have your own feelings. The fact is your mom signing a paper and moving in with a guy and his kids doesn’t magically make you family. It takes work on both sides. If it is that you truly desire to have a relationship with your step siblings (healthy relationships aren’t forced), it will be in your own time, but remember to always remain respectful to them. If she wants you to socialise that badly, EVERYONE would need to come together to figure out when would be a good time, and what would be fun for everyone to do. I would also say that just because your mom found a guy that she’s in love with (which is totally fine) doesn’t make her entitled to dictate that you sacrifice the relationships with the people of your childhood that you want to keep in your life. Next time just tell her to relax and that there’s enough of you to go around for everybody lolol! You have time during this pandemic after all! Good Luck! ######

This happened last year around October. I was at home, it was a Saturday around five pm and someone knocked on my door. I'd only been home from work for about an hour after having been awake since four am, and I was sitting down eating my dinner. I went and opened the door, it was a group of people and they started singing church hymns. They'd stuck a flier to my door that basically said "hi, we're from the local church and we've decided to start having Singing Saturdays where we'll go around town blessing people with hymns to encourage you to come to church and hear the word of God on Sundays." When I realized what was going on I stepped back inside and shut the door, shut the curtains and went back to my dinner. They stayed outside until the hymn was over and then moved on down the street to my neighbors. Later on, I was on the neighborhood Facebook page putting up an ad in search of a lawn mower for cheap and I saw the church had posted about "our amazing afternoon on \[street\] and how most people were receptive to the word of the lord but there was a couple of hold-outs they'd be paying another visit to." Most of the comments on the post were putting those couple of hold-outs on blast and one of the church members actually described my house and the houses of the other couple hold-outs. I reported it but considering my house is the only yellow house on the street it's pretty obvious who one of the hold-outs was. Anyway, I was out on the next few Saturdays and didn't encounter them again but was called out on the Facebook page for not answering my door this time. Was I an asshole because I didn't want to stand there awkwardly while strangers sang at me? ######

NTA What gall! Your house, your property. You didn't invite them over. They imposed, they invaded, and now they think they have a right to bully and harass you? Some people have anxiety disorders, and this would be considered a bloody nightmare to endure. ######

Throwaway bc it’s not a very common situation... Ok so I’m not really sure how to say this, but it happened a few months ago, and everyone keeps calling me a bad person for it. To start, I am a lesbian, from a very anti-LGBT family. One of my friends is also gay, and she is VERY open about it, like her whole life is rainbow themed (I.e. her hair, bags, phone case). And we have been hanging out at like malls and everything, just anywhere but my house, for obvious reasons. So one day, she suggests we should hang out at my house, since she has never been there for the 5 years we have been friends. I say that I would like her too, but if she would not act so openly gay around my family, because I: 1) don’t want to out myself 2) my family can be dickheads to anyone LGBT 3) they won’t let me be friends with her anymore And she said that I was trying to discriminate against her and the LGBT community, and how I shouldn’t make her hide her true self. I get where she is coming from, but I have explained my situation to her. Then, she told all my friends, and they all agree with her that I am an asshole. I can’t help but feel shitty, but I can’t change my situation, and I don’t want to make things worse. So people of reddit, Am I The Asshole? ######

NTA What a weird stance for her to take!! You absolutely don't have to come out to your family, especially while you're still living with them. And she should be more interested in your safety than in expressing her LGBT pride to a bunch of bigots who might harass one or both of you. ######

My GF of 5 years whom i love recently became hardcore vegan. We live at my ranch out in the country on a few acres of land. I own a flock of about 15 hens and a rooster as well. I'm not a farmer or anything but these guys are my pets. I am to emotionally attached to my hens to eat them but have no problem with eating other meat. My girlfriend wants to get rid of them cause they give her PTSD and reminds her of how terrible chickens are treated elsehwere. She also gets made at me for eating their eggs without their consent. I agreed to get rid of them because I am a pushover but then changed my mind. she said I was a liar and a backstabber and we are having a serious problem with this. AITA? ######

NTA Using PTSD, a very real + horrible disorder resulting from trauma, to guilt you into getting rid of your chickens (that you treat well!) is extremely manipulative and pretty insulting to anyone who actually suffers from that IMO. ######

Because of covid a lot of events had to be cancelled/postponed. As it happens, my nephew (let’s call him Zack) had his first birthday delayed. And that obviously sucks, I get it: celebrating the first birthday is a great milestone. Fast forward to now, and my in-laws are now planning to throw a delayed “quarantine party” for Zack. Cool, no problem, sounds like fun and we would love to be there. BUT here’s the kicker: my in-laws are hosting Zack’s party on MY son’s actual birthday. It’s worth noting that my son is old enough to know/understand that it’s his birthday but their grandparents, aunt and uncle will instead celebrating Zack’s birthday (who won’t even remember because he’s 15 months old). We were not asked in advance if this would be an issue for us, which it obviously is. This also means that my in-laws and my BIL/SIL are not available/not coming to my son’s birthday. They all claim this is the only weekend that will work for a birthday party that has already been delayed by five months. Because of the obvious conflict, my husband and I declined to attend the first birthday party. Now we’re being told that we’re being difficult and unreasonable. AITA for wanting to celebrate my son’s birthday on his actual birthday and for being pissed my son’s feelings weren’t taken into consideration at all? ######

NTA Until a kid is around 3, they don’t really understand birthdays. Your kid is looking forward to celebrating with you. The extended family are TAs for not being flexible about a party for a one year old. ######

It's always been an unspoken rule at my home that if someone buys a console everyone could use it (though the person who got it could choose where to put it and always had a right to use it first if they wanted to). Everyone agreed with that and it was really useful because we'd be able to have a wider array of consoles. Sometimes we'd buy games with everyone's money if everyone wanted to play that specific game. A few months back, we did that, but since the digital version was less expensive we downloaded it on my brother's Switch (I also have one, but therefore can't play it on my own Switch). I also got a PS4 that I bought with my own money that I got from working part-time. My brother has been the one who used it the most. He uses it so much that there are often times where I wait an entire evening only to realise that it's too late to play anymore. Over the last weeks I've asked him several times if I could play that game we had bought on his Switch and he just told me to play something else. I'm honestly pretty frustrated by his attitude and want to tell him to no longer touch my PS4. However I feel like it would be a pretty asshole-ish move to single him out. WIBTA if I told him that ? When I asked for a ######

NTA Unspoken rules aren't sacrosanct, and if they're not working there's nothing wrong with changing them. Besides, your brother can't expect to deny you a \*joint purchase\* on the Switch and also get to play your PS4, which you bought solely with your own money, whenever he wants. This is a prime opportunity to teach him that his selfishness has consequences; make it clear to him that the PS4 is yours, you bought it, and if he's going to tell you not to play a Switch game you bought together when he's not even playing it, your PS4 is now off-limits to him until you say otherwise. Even if you don't want to go that far with it...it's your PS4. If he's on it and you want to play it, tell him his time is up and it's your turn now. If he refuses, point out that he contributed nothing to the console and he has a Switch game he can go play instead. ######

We're not legally married but we have been together for more than five years. He's a combat veteran. He gas lights, uses circular logic, manipulation, and insults. We had a blow up last night. He insulted me, calls me worthless screams about the things he does for me and our baby. He apologized but says that in the heat of the moment he should be allowed to get a free pass on the things he says. He doesn't give me the same pass. Besides, I have more restraint than him. I want to work at least part time. We have a five month old. He says I can't because I would be working at an entry level position where it wouldn't be feasible or rational because child care would cost as much as I make. I ask him if there is anything wrong with him taking the baby while I work. He says he works, he owns his own business and makes his own hours. I tell him that what he is doing to me is abuse. That if he is telling me that I can't have a job he can't hold it over my head. That he can't scream at me during an argument about how much he works and pays to take care of us. I tell him that he can't appreciate all of the work I do around the house and that I have the baby most of the time then tell me that I am worthless and don't contribute. He says he's not stopping me from working. I try to explain to him that when he says I can't do something it does mean that he is stopping me. He says that he isn't an abuser and that me saying that he is really hurts him. I feel bad. I didn't scream it but I did say it because I was trying to get him to stop and realize what he does. I know it's a hurtful statement. He says he deserves an apology but I don't think I need to give him one. He won't go to counseling. I know he has PTSD, I know that his training, MOS, taught him to employ some of these tactics in order to get results. ######

NTA Unless you count the fact that your being and asshole to yourself and your kid by putting up with this. Is this really how you want to raise your child and live the rest of your life? With a man who puts down those around him and uses leverage to manipulate the ones he should love unconditionally? ######

I've been married to my wife for about 3 months now, and we had her out first serious argument when I got angry with her for calling her mom to take her somewhere while I'm home and not doing anything. She always does things like this. Calling her parents for rides or help instead of me. My friends tell me that I should be happy, but I'm not. It's ridiculous in my opinion. We're married, we live together. ASK me before you ask your damn parents like you still live with them or something. I work during the day and she works during the night. Why not ask me to pick you up from work? Why not ask me to take you places even if I'm not going there with you? We've never even been grocery shopping together because she always asks her dad to take her. Like wtf? What's the point of being married or living together at that at? When I tried to talk to her about it she lashes out at me telling me basically the same thing my friends did, that I should be happy that she doesn't bother me for favors or anything. But that's the fucking problem. Why are you even referring to asking your husband for something as a fucking favor? It's not even just giving rides. It's a variety of things in general. She gets her dad to cut our grass (I'm a grown ass man, why do you think I want your damn dad cutting our grass, for free at that?), she gets her mom to pick up things like medicine and drop it off, she'll drop our dog off at her parents so they can watch him even if I'm home. The list goes on. I'm not that macho man super masculinity type, but holy shit it's degrading. Am I the asshole here and I should be happy? ######

NTA Unless this is a sixth sense situation where you died but haven't realized it yet. ######

So this happened before lockdown... normally I hate giving wait staff a hard time because I get that their jobs hard... So I went to dinner at a tgis with my boyfriend. We ordered starters, mains and drinks all at the same time. Starters and drinks came and it was fine. But slowly we ran out of drinks and we were in a bit of a back corner and no one was coming over... We just kind of waited for our food but it got to about 40 minutes since we’d had our starters so we tried flagging down a waitress which took another 20 minutes and asked about our food... she was polite, apologised and left to find out about our food. She didn’t come back... 10 minutes later we asked another waitress, same thing, she apologised then didn’t come back to speak to us... 3rd time we asked a waitress and the same thing happened again. I was mad at this point and so we left just enough to cover the drinks and starters on the table and started to walk out... a waitress came running at us saying we can’t leave as we hadn’t paid yet. We told her that there was money on the table and she told us we had to pay for the whole meal (which we hadn’t received yet). She called the manager out and as she did this our food finally came out... about 2 hours after our starter. We got mad as hell picked up the money on the table, gave the manager a chewing out and wrote a letter to corporate.... It’s not that they forgot about us, it’s the fact that we asked for help and they completely ignored us.... So AITA for walking out on the bill? ######

NTA Two hours?? Even if they were absolutely swamped then it shouldn't take two hours for a TGI's to serve a couple of mains. ######

I (21M) have made the decision to go to therapy. I have many issues I need to sort out. This pleased my sister (24F) cos she's been to therapy and talked about so many benefits to it. So I have many issues I want to sort out. But I want two distinct factors in my therapist: 1) I want a male therapist 2) I want an older male, someone over 50 This is because one of my issues I want to sort is my own issues with my masculinity - what it means to be a man in today's world. I also have "daddy issues" that I need to sort and would feel more comfortable with an older male, rather than someone my own age. Anyway when I said this my sister said I was an AH and sexist. However she specifically sought out a female therapist so idk why she is having these double standards. AITA? ######

NTA Time to stop sharing those thoughts with your sis. Once you've worked through some things, your therapist's gender probably won't matter much anymore. But at this time, before therapy, it matters. And that's okay. ######

My daughter is 23, graduated from college 3 years ago and works retail for minimum wage. She has a BA in international relations, but says she can't find a higher paying job or a career job. She has never paid a bill or rent in her life, I have taken care of everything for her from college, to bills, to her car, vacations etc. Only thing she pays for now is her phone bill and her expenses (I cleared a 3k CC bill for her as a grad gift 2 years ago). She lives with us and my wife and I provide all food etc. She doesn't seem motivated to find at all to better her life, I told her to go back to college, or get her masters or something. She just says that all of her friends are in the same position she's in and she knows no one born her year ('96) that has a decent job. I find this very hard to believe that all of her friends are like this and none of them have a good job. Her brother who is graduating this June has a job paying 85k a year lined up, he has a BA in business and he even got his own apartment. I tell her that you and your brother both have BA's, how's he doing better than you already? She doesn't have an answer. I told her that when the pandemic is over I want her to either go back to school, put in effort to find a better job or start paying bills. I told her she can live with us still but I want $500 a month for rent and groceries. I did this to light a fire under her hopefully. She called me a huge asshole and a bad father because apparently I don't understand how hard it is to find a job that pays her at least 45k a year and is a career type job. AITA? ######

NTA Though I do want to say, it is a difficult time out there right now. I have no trouble believing that your daughter and her friends are struggling to find decent jobs. So while I don't agree that you're TA, I think you should try and be understanding of her situation and not compare her to her brother. But, your daughter is working and earning her own money. My parents did something similar when I was around that age. She's plenty old enough to contribute to the household. What you're asking for doesn't seem completely unreasonable to me. ######

So this is kinda two AITAs but the first happened a month ago and I was confident I was in the right, I'm just double checking because the two events are connected. I practice a martial art that has weight classes, so I monitor my weight all the time, except when I'm injured or for whatever reason not competing (Christmas, my wedding etc.) when I've got a competition coming up, I'll be eating very healthily and ill be strict with it, almost everyone knows this because, when you get frequent bruises/cuts/injuries, people tend to ask about them. I was in the canteen in work a month ago, eating chicken, couscous and broccoli with one of my coworkers, who asked why I was eating healthily and I replied "well I'm pretty fat at the moment compared to normal, and I'm competing soon!" (it got cancelled of course). Well another coworker (ella) overheard this and complained to HR that I was fatshaming, because if I called myself fat, I must think she's fat too (she is definitely overweight, but I've never said that to her, or anyone else). Well HR suspended me for the rest of the day, "investigated" and then basically said that unless it was being sexual, I can say whatever I want about my own body. They also told me to be a little more sensitive and watch my wording around Ella. I instead decided to just not speak to her at all. We work in the same department but all our work is independent so we have no reason to talk. Then yesterday, she complains to HR that I'm avoiding her and that I'm making it a "hostile work environment" and they again, suspended me halfway through the day pending investigation. I have had two suspensions thanks to her and who knows what HR will say about this one, so AITA in either scenario? ######

NTA This woman sounds like an absolute pest. I'd contact HR myself and say you think she has it out for you. I've never been "friends" with any of my coworkers (well, maybe like 2, over a course of 10 years). I come in, do a job, then go home. No need to talk to her if you are not cooperating on a project. ######

This isn't dramatic, or too serious. We're back in lockdown, and it's been raining so my kids have had no way to run off some energy, so they're extra bratty right now. ​ My son (10) was arguing with his sister (6). He wanted the TV volume at 25, she wanted it at 20. I stepped in and put it at 23. They kept arguing, and he picked up her makeup pallet (just glitter eyeshadow) and threw it across the room. It broke. I made him take $5 from his savings, and pay his sister to replace the broken makeup. My son is grumpy because I 'stole' his money. My husband thinks that I'm being harsh because he's been saving for weeks to buy a new game for his Switch, and he's almost saved enough. He thinks we should just replace it, and ground our son from tech for the day. But my thoughts are, my daughter paid for the make up with her own money. She put a lot of thought into picking it, and waited 3 weeks for delivery. My son knows better than to throw things in anger, and maybe now that he's been 'fined' he'll think before he acts. I'm not making him pay the full price, just the amount that my daughter put in, I paid the rest. ​ AITA? ######

NTA This was an EXCELLENT parenting move and lesson teacher. Thank you! ######

We've been married for 4 years (me:24F and 25M) We have 2 kids 8M and 2F, since I got pregnant with our lil girl I had so many health issues I had to quit my job, so I kinda lost all my." Social life" Every since we got together I never went out o just hang out with friends anymore, there was always an excuse, he likes to play soccer once in a while with his friends, and I was fine with it. He has his circle of friends and play computers games on a daily basis with his friends online. Two days ago I mentioned I wanted to go to a party when my 2 year old kid can stay with her grandma or with him ( she is breastfeeding still), he said no right away, he said I was not going to be able to go out if it wasn't with him, and that I don't have the need to be making any other friends if I have him, (FYI I don't drink or smoke, so going out is just to dance, music and get to know ppl), and that "there's NO WAY I will ever go out alone to a party, maybe a gym" So today he says his friend invited him to play soccer on Wednesday and I said no, I'm not going to be taking care of the kids when I can't even go out on my own because you forbid it, he said "don't expect me to love you after this. AITA here? Really? ######

NTA This sounds so far into the controlling and abusive behaviour it is hard to believe this is exactly how things went down. If it is, you need to get into some counseling immediately and/or considering terminating the relationship as it is not healthy at all. I hope it isn't true, but that might just be wishful thinking. ######

So a bit of context. I’ve been begging my husband to let me buy a car since he’s been driving me literally everywhere for over 2 years because he doesn’t want to spend money on a car or insurance. He ended up telling me no again because we need to continue putting money into our savings. I got pretty upset seeing as we have $16000 in our savings already and I just want a used car to drive myself to work. He saw how upset I was and decided to build me my own computer so we could play video games together. I told him once a while ago that I really don’t want a computer and would rather put the $1000 towards a car. But then he started showing me different video games and won’t stop talking about it and I don’t have the heart to tell him I actually have no interest in playing any video games since they kind of bore me. Now it’s annoying the hell out of me because he’s asking me what kind of mouse and keyboard I want and complains when I tell him “I like how this one looks” because “that’s a shitty one” “that’s not a gaming keyboard” and I sort of lost it and yelled and told him “buy me whatever, I really don’t care about this at all!” And he said it hurt his feelings so I apologized and kind of lied and told him how excited I am to have a computer. Not only that but he decided to spend another $100 on wood and materials to build our computer desk. We also need to buy another chair and headset for me. At this point, I feel like if I tell him that not only do I not care about video games, but that this is all a huge waste of money to me, he would be extremely upset and I really don’t want to hurt his feelings. Should I just try to get into video games for him or should I tell him the truth? ######

NTA This seemed like it was full of red flags for financial abuse, so I checked your post and comment history. My friend, you are absolutely in an abusive relationship. Your therapist is right. Not only is he controlling you financially, he's manipulating you emotionally, limiting where you can go/who you can see, and he *has been physically violent.* You are *not* the asshole for not wanting his pretend present here. You need to get out and I sincerely hope you take these comments to heart. *You are being abused.* ######

Excuse my English, it is not my first language. 1 year ago my sister became vegan overnight after watching a documentary called Dominion, she quickly started making changes to our home, from making our parents change salad dressings, to have her own pans and a lot of stuff that personally bothered me. What I did next I know I was the asshole, and I am not asking about this part but it is important for context. I told my sister, that her whole vegan thing was bothering everyone in the house and from now on I was going to make sure it didn't even help animals, so I said to her "for every animal you don't eat I am going to eat three, so you being vegan is a net negative for animal welfare". So I switched overnight to a extremely meat heavy diet. Well I didn't expect it but I feel much better eating this way, I have more energy, my skin cleared up, I have no brain fog, I actually feel amazing. My sister came crying to me the other day to stop eating the way I do and to "grow up" and eat like a normal person. I told her that no, I would keep eating the way I like to eat and I was sorry I started my new diet for a wrong reason (to piss her off) but now I mantain this diet because I like it and I feel better following it. She called me inmature and my parents are siding with her, so am I the asshole for not budging to my sister demands to change my diet? ######

NTA This might be an unpopular opinion but it’s your diet and no one should have control over it except yourself or a doctor (but only for health reasons not personal beliefs). You were petty do start your diet for that reason but she can’t demand you change it especially if you feel healthier now than you did before ######

Okay, so, this is an ongoing thing now dating back to my pregnancy with our baby (1). My husband likes to leave and go do his own thing, which is fine; he needs a break. Parenting is hard and we already have a 5 year old. The problems: -the day after we brought our baby home from a very traumatic birth (I hemorrhaged and almost died) my husband left to go to the next town over and was gone for hours. -I had postpartum depression. He constantly left me home by myself with both of our kids for hours. He was never affectionate and just acted like he didn’t like me and our family anymore. -he lied to me. A lot. -he still leaves to go do things on his own for hours at a time. He offers to take us sometimes but our baby can’t hang out that long and he knows it, but he isn’t willing to leave when he’s tired and he also won’t carry the baby (25 lbs) so I have to hold him for hours while standing up. -he says he can’t watch the kids for me to do anything on my own. The few times he has had our baby, the baby acts like he doesn’t know who he is, for good reason. He only knows his mom and brother honestly. I’ve caught him being too rough with the baby before too. He also pops him already which I do NOT think he’s old enough for. -I haven’t even got to take a shower by myself in a year. I always have to bring the baby in with me. So we occasionally argue about this stuff because sometimes I bring it up and it makes him feel bad so he leaves. AITA for being upset and bringing it up to him? ######

NTA This man is not a husband or a father. He is sperm donor who happens to live under the same roof as you. Drag this man to couple's counseling ASAP. Or don't. You might just want to save yourself the time and file for divorce. ######

In December 2019, my therapist recommended I take an appointment with my doctor to be prescribed antidepressants due to how I was feeling at the time. Now, back then I was 17 so I couldn't make an appointment at my doctor's without my parents knowing. When I mentioned to my parents what the therapist recommended they didn't agree to this and told me they didn't want me taking meds. According to them, I didn't need them. Skip to about mid-February 2020, I'm now 18 and still feeling the same due to my constant anxiety and depression. I said to myself "fuck this, I wanna get better and do what my therapist recommended". So I phone my doctor, telling my parents I wanna renew my skin treatment prescription (I actually did need one and got one at the same time of getting a prescription for my antidepressants). They give me the money and I have my medical insurance card (I live in a country where doctor appointments are mostly reimbursed by the state) and then head to get my prescription. The doctor prescribed me sertraline and I started taking 25mg of it every day for about a month and a half. Skip to a few weeks ago where my parents found out about it during an argument I had with them. They found out and are pissed at my doctor and my therapist for not telling them I was taking antidepressants. I am considered an adult by both my therapist and doctor. I believe it's their right to not tell my parents considering I'm old enough to make my own decisions. The sertraline was paid for by the state so my parents weren't paying for it. They believe that I disobeyed them and that I'll have to change both doctor and therapist because they both broke that trust that my parents put in them to take care of me. I hope this all makes sense and that it's all well written. So, AITA for not telling my parents I was taking antidepressants for a month and a half? ######

NTA This is your private medical business as you are an adult. You're allowed privacy, and since your parents aren't even paying for it, it's really none of their business. Your doctors aren't making crazy or irresponsible decisions here. ######

I’m 17M and my step sister , Amber is 18F. My mother has been with my stepdad for 9 years. I usually spend two weeks of the month with my dad and Amanda usually spends every weekend with my stepdad. I’ve never gotten along with Amber, we’re extremely different people, we usually avoid each other, when Amber wasn’t out she was in her bedroom moody, she’d throw it in my mothers face that she isn’t her mother and then cry like she was the victim. Amber is pregnant and her mother doesn’t want her living with her anymore so Amber reached out to my mother and asked to live with us. I can’t tolerate being around her let alone with a crying baby so I told my mother I’d be staying with my dad and visit the weekends if Amber moves in. My mother is extremely upset and my stepdad is accusing me of being immature and making her pick between Amber and me, he told me I’m being irrational and spoilt. WIBTA? ######

NTA This is your living environment as well, you have every right to be where you're comfortable and able to thrive in an individual basis. ######

Hello people I’ll keep it short. My boyfriend of 4 months recently told his mom about my eating disorder without telling me. We went to his parents house just to see how’s everyone is doing since it’s been awhile. He’s an amazing cook, so he was helping his brother with dinner I was setting the table. We were talking about how our day was and the conversation follows B= boyfriend BB= boyfriend’s brother Me=.....take a wild guess lol B:The food is great BB: thanks I even made cake B: yes I love your cakes Me: I do too BB: well with your eating disorder I’m sure you can eat the whole thing Me Silence.... I looked straight at B he was red in the face probably from embarrassment and angry. Dinner quickly finishes after that. Before we leave mom (she’s basically my mom too at this point guys I really love her) apologize like crazy I said it’s not her fault and we leave and go home then I told him I’m going to stay the night at friends and of course he thought it was the end and I assured him that we are not breaking up but what he did really hurt me. When I first told him and he swore up and down he would never tell anyone cause some of his other family already picks on my appearance (I’m black and he’s white) I just went to my friends and cried I’m not gonna leave him but he tends to overshare with his family sometimes we have talked about him over sharing countless of times but nothing works AITA? ######

NTA This is such a huge violation. You know that. He didn't just share it without your permission, he shared it with someone who was then cruel about it. I am sorry your boyfriend did this to you. ######

My wife is a klutz, and she completely misses things that are so blatantly obvious to me that it's driving me crazy. Things like leaving glasses of liquid within reach of our one-year-old who, assuming this isn't normal, is obsessed with getting into anything and everything she shouldn't get into. My wife leaves her $800 phone sitting on the couch and then complains for days when she can't find it after the baby stashed it somewhere. I am aware that she likely has adult onset ADD. She frequently sets full cups of liquid on the center console on my car, only to act so surprised when it spills when I make a turn, or she gives non-sealed drinks to the baby in my car and can't understand why I expected her to anticipate the obvious outcome. This is a problem I've witnessed for eight years of knowing her, and I thought she'd outgrow it, but she hasn't. Last weekend she decided to take my $1000 laptop, which I use for work, and let my niece have a zoom call with her preschool class. That's fine I guess, but it's the fact that she left it on a night stand where my one year old could reach it and push it onto the floor, snapping the power cord off inside, that bothers me. She walked away from an expensive item, knowing it was within reach of our destructive child, and does not think I am entitled to be as angry as I am at her. She blames everyone else, even my five-year-old niece somehow. Most of all she's now mad at me for yelling at her in front of my family (where we happened to be when I discovered it was broken.) I think I'm entitled to be mad because, as an adult, I expect her to anticipate things like this and prevent them from happening, but she never does. Am I the ass hole? ######

NTA This is not an ADD or ADHD issue. I am not saying your wife doesn't have ADD/ADHD, it is possible that she does. However, if this is repetitive behavior it means your wife lacks common sense and is generally careless. Your wife's actions are saying she can't be bothered to be responsible or think ahead. I am an adult and have ADD, I am very easily distracted. I feel bad for my friends and family because I can derail a conversation faster than a nascar crash. My best friend says she enjoys watching me in action, because I have no pattern to follow or interpret. So, it's always a surprise how things will end up. And I do genuinely struggle with completing tasks, because I do get distracted and end up exhausted. It has taken me years (if not decades) to master basic routines that should be easily acquired. Like laundry or keeping the kitchen clean while preparing a meal. Reading a book takes me forever, because my mind will wander and it is a struggle to get it back on track. With that said. I am not careless and I do feel like I possess decent common sense. As in, we simply don't have drinks in our cars that don't have a lid on them. This applies to children and adults. And because I don't want to burden myself or anyone else with having to clean up a sticky mess, we usually only allow water in the cars. And I would never hand over an expensive electronic device to a child, let alone walk off and leave them unattended with one either. Both are just disasters waiting to happen. Should you have yelled at your wife in front of your family? Probably not. But if this is a chronic problem for her, and she has yet to make any changes to her behavior, then it was bound to happen at some point. And it just so happened, this was that moment. ######

My brother has been needing a haircut. I am a cosmetologist and I worked really hard but in the end i decided it wasn't what I wanted to do with my life. My brother has been asking me for a haircut for a few days now but the time has never worked out. My mom got it in her head he needed a haircut today. I said I could do it tomorrow but we have "plans tomorrow" so it won't be possible. She said she would just borrow my stuff. I gave her my clippers, guards and thinning shears but I said my scissors are mine and I don't let anyone use them but me. They are 1500 dollar scissors. I saved up 3 months to be able to buy them. You have to be careful with them. Plus if you drop them they will be ruined. (She is also cutting his hair on the driveway) She has clippers and scissors they are just really cheap so it is really hard to cut hair with them. I get it is nice to have nicer scissors. I basically told her no they are mine. She starts getting mad and telling me how I am ungrateful and don't want to be apart of this family. That I am selfish and don't realize how they let me use there stuff all the time. I then say fine you can use the scissors and bring them to her. She says I have shown her how I really feel and she doesn't want them. That I have shown her that my scissors are more important than our relationship. I apologized again and ask her if she is sure. No, I need to get out of her face and think about how I have acted. I go down to my room and just cry. She brings me back my clippers and then tells me I need to get a grip and think about other people. I just feel absolutely shitty and I want to know if I was an asshole for saying no initially to her using her scissors. ######

NTA This is how adult toddlers act when they dont get their way. Professional tools are not to be used by people who do noot respect them. Not letting someone have their way is not disrespectful nor is not letting your parent treat you like you are 5 and eating paste for your pastime. ######

So my girlfriend was driving to my place and got pulled over by a cop for a traffic violation. She immediately calls me crying and tells me to come down to help with the situation. I try to calm her down and tell her that I'd be down there. By the time I arrive things aren't going well: she's sobbing and yelling at the cop (this was the first time something like this has happened to her). I decide it's best not to get directly involved, especially since the situation seemed pretty heated and tbh I'm not sure what I could do to help at that point. After the interaction is over, I go over to settle her down but she's furious blaming me and saying things like I live in a "stupid part of town with stupid driving rules" and that I was a "coward" for just watching it all happen. She says she can't trust me and that I wouldn't take a "bullet" for her... AITA? ######

NTA This is how a normal person gets a ticket: step 1-try politeness/innocence (“I’m sorry officer, I didn’t realize I was going so fast.”) step 2: resignation “fine, just write the ticket already.” They don’t 1) scream at the cop 2) sob and cry at the cop 3) take the time to call their bf while dealing with the cop 4) make this a big production that last so long! 5) expect someone to magically fix issue 6) refuse to rake any responsibility for themselves ######

I(20f) have been using this system since I was 18. I google pictures of penises and just send them one back. Ignoring means they think they can escalate it to things like soft porn, or begging me for my nudes cause they sent one first so it's only fair. Blocking has often resulted in them making new accounts to send me dick pics on or finding me on other social media. This is the only what I have found that works to make them stop. I feel bad for it, but I can't think of anything else to do. ######

NTA This is hilarious. If it is unsolicited and they want to harass you, I feel this is a great response. ######

It sounds really really wrong, but hear me out. My dad passed away 2.5 years ago when I was 17, leaving me 20F and my sister 18F with our crazy mother. She’s abusive and i moved away as soon as I could. My dad was cremated, and she has kept his ashes hidden somewhere in her room since then, it the white box the funeral home gave him to us in. She held a very small service, and no obituary. Here’s where everything comes into play, my mom is very orthodox Catholic, and is aware that having someone’s ashes in your home is forbidden, so she wants to bury his ashes somewhere with a tombstone that has no name on it. My sister and I are not religious at all, and we would both like just a little bit of him to keep with us. I bought two very small urns and am planning on stealing some, my dad was a fantastic person who I believe deserves some sort of remembrance. She refuses to let either of us have anything of his, ever. She is sort of gatekeeping him, saying things like “He loved ME,” and just never mentioning us as a family, only him and her. I get nervous that maybe doing this isn’t right, as if she ever found out I have no idea what could happen. But he was me and my sisters family too, and I think we should be able to have a little piece of him to remember. She won’t even let me take pictures of him. ######

NTA This is a hard one, but seriously, what your mom is doing is wrong. I wouldn't even worry about "what if she were to find out.". If you do manage to get some of your father's ashes, so what if she finds out? It's not like she can ruin her relationship with you and your sister any more than she has already done. ######

I am (22F), he is (23) and we’ve been dating for 6 months. Quite a short story. I’m a university student and work part time. I earn a decent amount but it’s not a shit ton so I don’t exactly have thousands in savings but I’m trying to save as much as I can just for my future. I don’t even tell my mother what I save because quite frankly it’s not a lot and that’s insanely personal info. Idk how it came up but my boyfriend has been talking a lot about savings and has started demanding to know how much I have. I told him that it’s really none of his business as it’s my money and that you can’t just ask people how much money they have. Well, I’ve pissed him off. He has called me a bitch and says that I don’t trust him and he’s rethinking our future. Idk if I am an AH and should just apologise. Edit; idk if it’s relevant but I’ve mentioned some of his recent behaviour in comments. He has started telling me who I can and can’t hang out with, he accused me of cheating when I went to see my brother for the first tine in months due to him having health issues. He is also messaging me a lot and he’s taking up a lot of my time. He is getting insanely protective over me and doesn’t even like it when I try to do my own thing. Edit 2: Um okay he’s turned up at my dads house ranting and raving calling me a bitch and a whore and he appears to be armed with something. I think a lot of you are right. My dad isn’t home right now and I’m really scared. Edit 3: my dad came home thank god and we’re waiting for the police to come Edit 4; the police have just come and he’s been arrested! Edit 5; I now realise I was being abused thanks to you all and mostly my dad who is currently having a long talk to me about my relationship and how I wasn’t to blame for anything ######

NTA This dude is a giant, man-shaped red flag. You don't live together, you've not been dating long, and you're not saving for anything that involves him. This isn't his business and he knows it. His BS gaslighty response should tell you all you need to know about what life with him will be like. ######

Thanks to the quarantine my boyfriend is now working his consulting job from home full time. I am currently completing my teaching degree which consisted of me being placed in a classroom with high schoolers for 20hrs/week and also working a part time job 20hrs/week. Now, with schools being shut down all of my classes have been moved online. I am still working my “essential” job 20hrs per week out of the house but otherwise I am home with him while he’s working. Our apartment is only ~650 sq ft. Which means his desk is in the middle of our kitchen/living room area. He is on conference calls every morning usually ranging from 1 hour to 2 hours. Sometimes more, sometimes less. During these meetings he says running our kitchen sink or using the maker coffee is too loud and I should be prohibited from doing them... He says that if he’s talking during the meeting that the mic picks up the noises and is too distracting. On the other hand, if he is just listening to the meeting through his headphones with a muted mic, he says the sink is too loud and he can’t hear what his colleagues are saying. He thinks it is disrespectful of me to make noise during his conference calls when he has asked me several times not to do so. I think it is disrespectful for him to demand I not do normal daily activities in my own home. Also, when he is working (in a meeting or not) I never watch tv, listen to music, or talk but I will do things like make food, or coffee, or run the damn sink. His coworkers have commented that he must not have children, because his calls are so quiet.. so I feel like I’m okay to do these things as long as it isn’t excessive. He thinks I shouldn’t do them period. So reddit, AITA for making noise while my boyfriend is in conference calls for work? ######

NTA This doesn't make any sense, does he work in a noise-proof office at work?? I doubt his coworkers are completely silent all the time. > On the other hand, if he is just listening to the meeting through his headphones with a muted mic, he says the sink is too loud and he can’t hear what his colleagues are saying. Then he needs to turn the volume up or get better headphones. It's unreasonable to expect people to be 100% quiet for hours on end in their own home. ######

So a little back ground. My BIL and SIL son (16m) lives with me and has since February. I have temporary legal guardianship of him. My food stamps recently came up for renewal and I added him on yesterday (4/27) I messaged them today to let them know and they lost their shit on me. They have been claiming him for cash aid and food stamps even though he no longer lives with them. I have 2 children of my own who I also take care and provide for. They are demanding I take him off the application so they can get more money (they don’t have jobs) so they can move out of my father in law’s apartment. 1) I can’t do that. It was an online app and it can not be deleted 2) I have never lied on my application and refuse to do so. I will not be one of those assholes who abuses the system. Because I have done this the state will now find out they have been lying for 3 months and do a investigation and find that they also weren’t claiming the money their son was making for 6 months (he had a job at the time) this is not the first time they have been caught lying to welfare. Now I’m being called an asshole cuz I refuse to lie to the state so they can get more money. My head is spinning around this how thing. Help. ######

NTA They've been caught. They are going to have to wear it. They never suggested to you that you not include him and, from the sound of it, you're paying for everything for him. ######

I have to sublet my apartment because I just bought a house. I close later in June & don’t want to overlap rent & mortgage so have been trying to get rid of it as quickly as possible. After posting on Craigslist, I got a few messages from people interested. One couple toured last week and told me that they’d get back to me within a few hours but that they were 99% sure they’d take it. 24 hours goes by and I hear nothing. Finally at 11pm the next day (Thursday) I get a response from the guy that they are interested but want to come sign the lease on Monday. Not ideal as they didn’t put down a deposit so I’m leery of “holding it” but I said ok great we can meet Monday. Sunday at 4pm I text and say “Hey hope you’re having a good weekend - just wanted to see what time works to meet tomorrow?” 6 hours later, he texts me “oh sorry I’m out of town so it will need to be Tuesday.” Annoyed but whatever, I say “ok well can we do 11am on Tuesday?” He replies “I’m not sure, I’ll have to let you know tomorrow whether that works for me”. So Monday night he calls and says “hey just wanted to let you know we still definitely want the place but can’t come until Wednesday”. I’m really fed up and let him know I’ve had other interest and that they need to sign. He is like “ok we’ll try really hard to come tomorrow but Wednesday at the latest”. Meanwhile, another woman and her husband who toured over the weekend text me this morning that they’re interested and want to sign today. So I agreed they can have the apartment if they come today and sign before these other guys can come Wednesday since I still haven’t gotten a solid time nailed down. It’s been a week and they’ve dragged their feet without putting down a deposit or anything so I feel justified even though I verbally told them they could have the apartment. Am I the asshole? ######

NTA They've already skipped on you multiple times, you don't have to be loyal to someone messing you around ######

I live in a shared house. When I'd buy groceries they would magically disapear or whenever I would cook my (older female) roomie would ask me to share. Neither of us like cooking or doing dishes. I agreed to cook if she would wash the dishes. She never washed the dishes. So I've been ordering doordash like 3x a week. My housemate sits in the living room watching tv 24-7. I have to go through the living room to get to the front door. Everytime I get food she asks what I ordered. (If I have left overs I share.) Recently my aunt said I am rude for ordering food and not offering to buy the women some. (Honestly, it seems like my aunt is always trying to start petty fights with me.) Am I obligated to buy my housemate food? AITA for not wanting to buy her food? ######

NTA They're your roommates, not your children. ######

To start with, I am not rich in the sense I have a mansion and luxury cars. But with the combined income of myself and my fiancé, we live comfortably. We don’t live extravagantly, we save a lot and are able to afford nice things like a few holidays a year. If we have an unexpected expense like our car breaks down, we can easily afford to fix it. In contrast, most of my siblings are in low income jobs. My younger sister and her husband are on minimum wage jobs, to the point they don’t qualify to pay tax on their income (we’re in the UK). My older sister and brother are better off but not by much. If they had an unexpected expense, it would be difficult for them to pay straight away. In theory we could survive on one salary if myself or my fiancé stopped working, this is definitely not the case for my siblings. But no one is hand to mouth, or super poor. whenever I have any problems, they always dismiss it because “i can afford it”. For example, my work is cutting salaries in response to the coronavirus (we could take a voluntary paycut but it was implied if we didn’t, whole jobs would be cut). Obviously no one wants to be in this position, but their response was “you can afford to not work” or “it would be so much worse if it was happening to me”. Which, ok, that’s true but that’s not what is happening here. We need to get the rendering on our house re-done, I was asking for their opinion on what my options were, and it’s always “it doesn’t matter, you can afford it”. And I’m supposed to get married later this year but who knows if that’ll happen, and they just brush me off that I can afford to get married later. Am I being insensitive? I don’t want to come across as a brat... but it’s hard when I want to talk about a problem I’m having and all I get in response is basically, shut up you’re too privileged to have problems. And I also don’t think having money is a solution to everything. But then that’s very easy for someone with money to say. ######

NTA They're acting kind of bratty towards you, do you think there could be some jealousy? Siblings have a tendency to have one designated sibling to collectively hate on. Money solves a ton of problems, and can at least help with almost all of them. However, making good money doesn't make you immune to life's troubles. What happens if you lose a chunk of income, and your husband loses his job? Sorry your siblings are dismissing you for doing good in life. Don't feel bad for earning money. ######

My brother and his wife are having a hard time with paying their rent right now, so they asked if they can stay with us for awhile. After talking it over with my husband we agreed that they could move into our RV and we could hook up the water and electricity from our house. It’s not a huge RV, but it’s got one full size bed and two twin size beds that their kids can sleep on. My sil is very insulted by the idea of living out in our driveway when we have “plenty” of space inside. My brother was also upset because family would let family stay with them. He also doesn’t like that he would be the one responsible for taking the RV to the nearby rest stop area to drain the black tank. They both said they would much rather prefer to stay in our living room or that we could put our kids and one of their sons in our sons room and they can share our daughters room with their younger son. Or maybe have some of the kids camp out in the living room. None of those options appeal to us. With everything how it is and us all being stuck at home my husband, our kids, and I have gotten on each other’s nerves more than a few times. We feel like taking away our kids private spaces would be really disastrous. As for the living room my husband and I are both working from home, so we need our own separate areas to focus. My husbands job works with other branches in other countries so he’s often working really late at night or really early in the morning in the living room. So having people sleeping in there wouldn’t work out well. If they were just staying for a few days we probably could make due with them staying in the living room, but they will likely need to stay with us for weeks, if not months. ######

NTA They'd be imposing greatly, you know it, they know it. Their idea of moving everybody's rooms around, having everybody living on top of each other, and taking away your whole family's sense of privacy isn't a realistic solution. It sounds like you do NOT have the space for them, so the RV would be much better. If that doesn't appeal to them, due to pride or laziness, that's their problem. They sound like r/choosingbeggars ######

Sup peeps, hope all of you are doing amazing, Alright well, few years ago my parents were abusive asf. During high school we had this “ag science “ type of science and one of the requirements of the class was raising some type of farm animal. One of said options was a bunny so I’m like “hey bunnies are cute asf” so I went for the bunny. My parents had always hated animals so, then being them, they let my rabbits outside in 105 degree weather in Cali. (In a tiny 1x3foot cage for 2 fully grown rabbits) they started showing symptoms of having heat strokes but again, they wouldn’t let me bring them in or even touch them. Male bunny eventually died that summer from a heat stroke. Once I moved out I took my bunny with me and got a dog as well. Well, parents came to visit etc. they started complaining about just having my pets IN the house “that’s disgusting” “how do you live like this?” I’m like “ they’re trained, clean and healthy.” Mom was like “but the hair.?!” “No that’s disgusting, put them outside” Back when I lived with them they’re excuse for literally everything was, “my house my rules, the rabbit stays outside” “she’s literally panting hard asf....” “I don’t care, don’t bring that thing in here” So now my house my rules too I guess and was like “you want them outside? Cool, get the fuck out” she’s like “what?” I’m like “I don’t fucking know how you could ever think I’d pick you over them, you don’t like them? They mean a thousand times more than you do, either live with it or get the fuck out” Entirely logical in my opinion. TL;DR: kicked parents out of MY house because they didn’t like them being inside the house ######

NTA They were wrong to essentially kill your rabbit They were wrong to demand you put your pets out of your home ######

Me (F) and my husband (M) are planning on getting married this August (fingers crossed we dont have to reschedule) and even with the circumstances are still planning it. Recently, I picked my bridal party, and so I face-timed my maid of honour (who will be my cousin) and my bridesmaids (2 close friends). I was originally hoping to include 2 of my other very close friends in the bridal party, but have since decided to exclude them. The reason for this is they hate each other. They have never really been friends, and since weve been in high school (10 years ago!) they have not gotten along. They constantly talk bad about each other and can barely even be in the same room without getting in a screaming match. Of course, I still want them to be at my wedding, as they are 2 of my closest friends. However, I decided not to include them in the bridal party because it calls for working so closely together and constantly being with each other. We have to go gown shopping, bridesmaid dress shopping, have my bachelorette party, actually be in the same room for hours on the day of my wedding, etc. When I told them my reasoning they were understandably upset and they told me they would be able to keep it together. I want to trust them, but they have promised be before to keep it together (on birthdays) and have never been able to, I even have to have individual birthday lunches and dinners with them now instead of a party. I really think theyll fight at my wedding and although its selfish i just feel its better if they arent in the party altogether rather than just picking one. They have even now said they dont want to come to the wedding. Some friends agree with my decision, however a couple of my others dont, and one of my friends in the bridal party and my mom have told me I am being dramatic. I really dont want to hurt their feelings but I will also be super embarrassed and upset if they fight all the time we do wedding activities. Edit: Clarity ######

NTA They need to grow the fuck up. It’s their behavior that put you in the position of having to exclude them. That being said — you’re moving into a new stage of life that requires even more maturity. Don’t feel guilty if they just get left behind overall. ######

My mom and sister have had plans to do stuff this weekend out of town for a while but did not tell me till yesterday. This is fine, they are adults, but they also told me that I would need to watch my twelve and thirteen year old nieces til Monday. I do not get along with my nieces, they feel that they don't need to listen to anyone, not even their mother. I don't need the drama of these girls as I am just starting new meds for my anxiety and bipolar and don't know how they will effect my temperment yet. My mom and sister were not happy that I had told them I would not be watching the girls. AITAH for not being willing to watch my nieces for the weekend? ######

NTA They just want to dump two kids on you for a weekend? Yeah, no. ######

So as a kid I (22f) was “the black sheep” aka I was the emo that everyone in the family made an effort to avoid and that carried on into my adult life (to a lesser extent) but I still wasn’t invited to things like weddings and family gatherings (I was however invited to go out clubbing). Two years ago I’d invited all my immediate family, my parents siblings and their kids and my grandparents over for Christmas dinner or after drinks if they had other plans for dinner, everyone agreed that they would come over and would let me know when they’re on their way, cut to 9pm and I hadn’t heard from anyone but my younger cousin who sent me screenshots of everyone in a whatsapp group agreeing that there was no way they were coming over to my “dungeon” to sit and listen to “w*ist sl*shing” music” while eating “lettuce” (we’re a vegan household) so I thought ok cool you’ve all made your choices, I don’t NEED any of you and I won’t be missed so that’s the end of that. Cut to last summer when I married my husband (27) I didn’t bother inviting any family but my cousin (and my dads sister as she’s always been the mother figure in my life) as we’d always been chill but I told her I understood if she didn’t want to come as I didn’t want to cause tension between her and the goblins so she FaceTimed me for the ceremony. Now three weeks ago my family found out I had gotten married, I guess they went to the group chat and realised none of them had been invited so my uncle messaged me “so after everything we’ve done for you you couldn’t even let us know you were getting married” and then carried on calling me a selfish bitch and such, not inviting them was the right choice so I know I’m not the arsehole there but my cousin seems to think I’m the arsehole due to my reply of “stay mad hoes, I wanted the happiest day of my life to be filled with love, love NONE OF YOU have ever shown me. Don’t contact me again” as she believes him messaging me was an attempt to “reconnect” AITA? ######

NTA They get all upset about it but didn't invite you to things when you were younger? They are hypocrites don't let them get to you. ######

**BACKSTORY:** My parents have been living in England for around 25 years, more than they've spent in their country. They both fled at the age of 18 and they haven't seen their parents, friends and family for 30 years, so a return to their native country was inevitable. When I was 13, in the summer of 2017, my (16M) parents took me to their home country for what they said was "a holiday". This "holiday" turned out to be extended from the duration of the summer to mid-2018. I begged for us to return home and that I'm homesick but they kept on saying "This IS your home". This set me back on everything I had going on back home in England. I was set back academically and life turned from nice & easy to painful & hard. All of a sudden, I was struggling and still am. And I put 100% of the blame on my parents and their stupid decision to keep me there. So my parents, out of the blue, joked to me about a return to their country and staying there. I didn't like it and vowed that I'm not stepping foot in that place ever again. They got all sad and asked "Why not?". I told them straight up what problems I had with it. People there called me a foreigner, I kept on getting stared at, it's a shit place to live in and it practically ruined my life. (FUN FACT: They knew about all this) They were visibly upset and asked if I wouldn't visit even if they were old and decided to live the rest of their lives there. I said "only for a couple of days." If my (future) wife and kids wanted to go? I said that that won't happen since they probably would love it better here in England than over there. They didn't say anything but I could tell I hurt them. Older brother said that I'm being too insensitive and I shouldn't have to be so rude. Was I in the wrong here for letting out my true opinion on my parents' place of birth? Btw, as to not cause controversy, I won't mention where they're originally from. ######

NTA They disrupted your education without any kind of planning. No wonder your memories are negative. ######

I’m a 26F, and I’ve recently joined reddit to help me gain insight on some of my current life problems. I will try and keep this short. I befriended a 32M at work, and we were friends for 3 years. I was transparent with my current boyfriend about our friendship. We never hung out outside of work, but we did play some video games together occasionally. I sat next to 32M for a long time at our office job, and we became friends due to mere exposure. Everything was fine until the following events happened: 1. Started telling me I was thick, cute, and bad. 2. Started staying late to chat me up, and wouldn’t leave until I did, often following me out to my car. 3. Openly admitted he had an erection one day, making me physically sick. 4. Started talking bad about my relationship 5. Confronted me with his feelings, to which I replied “This makes me very uncomfortable!” After i said that, the next day he put his hand in my face and clenched his fist until it shook....yeah. I stood up, went to HR and filed a report. They informed me that they wanted to fire him anyways, as he was performing terribly at work,had bad hygiene and insubordination on a regular basis. I felt relief from hearing that. I didn’t hate him or wish him ill, I just wanted to be safe at work. The next few weeks they took no action except to disclose my report to him. They started communicating to me through a lawyer. He started behaving erratically and pacing behind my chair constantly. I told my job I needed to leave, took a weekend to think, and resigned through email. I felt extreme anxiety and uncomfortability in that environment. But, AITA for leaving without a two week notice? ######

NTA They didn't take your complaint seriously, if you didn't report it he could've done worst things. What an awful job I'm sorry you had to deal with those pricks. You need to be able to feel comfortable and safe at work not watch your back to see if your co-worker is gonna try to make a move. ######

Because of covid a lot of events had to be cancelled/postponed. As it happens, my nephew (let’s call him Zack) had his first birthday delayed. And that obviously sucks, I get it: celebrating the first birthday is a great milestone. Fast forward to now, and my in-laws are now planning to throw a delayed “quarantine party” for Zack. Cool, no problem, sounds like fun and we would love to be there. BUT here’s the kicker: my in-laws are hosting Zack’s party on MY son’s actual birthday. It’s worth noting that my son is old enough to know/understand that it’s his birthday but their grandparents, aunt and uncle will instead celebrating Zack’s birthday (who won’t even remember because he’s 15 months old). We were not asked in advance if this would be an issue for us, which it obviously is. This also means that my in-laws and my BIL/SIL are not available/not coming to my son’s birthday. They all claim this is the only weekend that will work for a birthday party that has already been delayed by five months. Because of the obvious conflict, my husband and I declined to attend the first birthday party. Now we’re being told that we’re being difficult and unreasonable. AITA for wanting to celebrate my son’s birthday on his actual birthday and for being pissed my son’s feelings weren’t taken into consideration at all? ######

NTA They can celebrate Zack's birthday whenever they want. And they can even miss your son's birthday to do so. They are the assholes for saying you are being difficult and unreasonable for celebrating your son's birthday on the day of. ######

So last week I quit my job (I got an amazing offer from an amazing company). My almost-former boss asked why and I told her (via email due to COVID) the complete truth: microagressions, lack of diversity (or interest in bring more in), nepotism, exclusion and subtle racism, homophobia, and sexism. I copied her bosses and sent a diversity plan to them. I listed examples and pasted links for how to deal with and recognize microagressions. I listed out examples of what I’ve experienced and made suggestions on how they can correct it. This was last Friday - on my day off. They have yet to reply. ######

NTA They asked and you answered. You were under no obligation to let them know why, so it’s no fault of your own if they’re upset at the reason why you quit. If they don’t respond, just move on and focus on your new job. Congratulations on your new job! ######

I am one of three siblings. None of us are particularly well off. My parents (early 60s) are reasonably comfortable middle-class. All three siblings have kids. My parents have spent thousands on my two sisters to help them make ends meet for most of their adult lives. I have accepted help from my parents on occasion, but nowhere near the scale of either of my siblings. I've also been left dry when I really needed help, because of them needing it first. Ex, my college fund was spent housing my oldest sis, when I needed help replacing a vehicle that died on me, they couldn't help because they were providing in full for my younger sister. In truth, they've leeched off our parents as much as they could get away with. Because of this, my folks have decided to leave me a larger share of their estate when they pass, and are firm that they would prefer I don't use mine to do for my sisters. She hasn't given an exact figure but it's going to be around half, with the other half split between my sisters and some of it set aside for their kids (my kids are included in my end). It depends I guess on the span between one parent and the other passing but it's potentially over 250k. I feel funny about it already, but mom's got me on paper as the executor and has started expressing to me what items she wants to go where. I told her I'd honor her wishes, but she needed to make a will because being executor and getting a larger share is going to cause so much tension between all of us. She didn't seem upset, but has since changed the subject abruptly whenever I bring it up. ######

NTA They absolutely need a will. If they don't have one, then you being executor doesn't mean much, because you'd be legally bound to distribute their estate according to your jurisdiction's intestacy laws (i.e. laws that govern how an estate's assets must be distributed in the absence of a will). So if they want you to have half of their estate when they die, and they don't have a will that says that, then you're not allowed to give yourself half as executor. If you try to take half, your siblings can sue you to force the legally-required division of assets, and they'll win. You may want to ask for guidance over at /r/legaladvice ######

I (M21) was recently given a set of wireless ear buds, the type that hang over the ear. A coworker that im close with gave them to me as a gift since he didnt like/use them. These are expensive ones that he was otherwise going to sell online if i didnt want them. The problem is this. Upon coming home and telling my mother about it and how nice it was for him to gift them to me, she asked, which then became practically begging me to give them to her after i had initially said no. She had gone on to say that she never got to have nice headphones/listenjling apparatus and how she had gotten me nice things in the past. I didnt really want to give them up, but i also felt guilty about keeping something nice from her. She's someone who's worked very hard to give me a good upbringing and right now we're both working to pay for expenses between the two of us. But I also refrain from buying anything unnecessary because i know we're short on money, while she's usually buying new clothes and shoes now and again. WIBTA for not wanting to give up an expensive gift? ######

NTA These are yours. Your mom does not deserve them, no matter how much she guilts you about it. ######

So my girlfriend and I live together, and my sister is staying with me mostly against my will, because otherwise she would be homeless and I can’t really in good conscious do that. My sister used to be bulimic and anorexic, she’s mostly better now. She still eats kind of slow but other than that seems fine. Today my girlfriend was wearing this cute dress even though she can’t go anywhere so I told her she looked nice. We were in the kitchen and my sister was in the living room with the tv on, so in earshot but it shouldn’t have been all up in her face. I gave her(my girlfriend) a kiss and she complimented me, then I went on with my day and went back to work. After dinner my sister told me that she rather I not compliment my girlfriend in front of her and said it makes her feel bad. I think this is pushing the envelope on what I’m willing to give in to body issues. When I was a teenager I had to eat in my room so she wouldn’t see me eating, and I had to never talk about weight, which while annoying was slightly understandable. But I’m not going to walk my girlfriend into our bedroom, compliment her, then walk back. I told my sister that while I feel bad that it upsets her I’m not going to stop complimenting my girlfriend. If she has a problem with innocuous conversation she can stay in her bedroom. She got mad and said that I didn’t care about her body issues. AITA? ######

NTA There’s a difference between being considerate and catering to unreasonable demands. Your sister should work on understanding that. ######

So for a bit of background, one of my brothers and I have a history of being at odds with each other. As we’ve gotten older, I’ve grown tired of it, and I refuse to participate unless he pushes me to an extreme. He still makes fun of me regularly. It’s gotten to the point that even my parents are telling me to push back at him, but I find the whole ordeal tiresome and prefer to just avoid him unless absolutely necessary. Anyway, on to the subject of this post: a few months ago, our baby sister offered to sell me her car when she and my parents came to visit us from out of state, which is happening this week. My brother, mentioned earlier, asked me about a week ago if he could have the car she’s going to sell me, in exchange for his car. The car he’s driving now is much smaller than the one my sister is bringing, and one of the reasons I agreed to buy my sister’s car is because I don’t have much storage space in my apartment, and I want the car to make up for that. So, AITA for not wanting to make the swap? ######

NTA There's no benefit to you to pay for your sister's car and then trade it for your brother's car that you don't want. So, don't do it. Your brother can go buy his own car. The fact that you even have to ask this question makes me think your brother is probably a bully. You don't ever have to do anything he wants. ######

Tl;dr: My private garden was partially destroyed by a landscaper not even hired by my landlord. WIBTA if I called to complain Okay for some context: I live in the UK in a private flat in a building of council flats (these are low income/free housing provided by the local authority). Each flat has a designated section of garden. So my partner and I have a large portion of the green that we maintain and care for. I have a greenhouse and planters and all sorts of vegetables growing. I recently transplanted my zucchini plants into the earth. I didn't bother blocking any of it off or anything because that area is only maintained by myself and my partner; we knew which plants were which. So for the first time in the year we have lived here, the city council sends someone around to cut the grass for the other gardens. The landscaper knocks on our door and determines which sections are ours and which aren't. He then proceeds to *only* cut ours and kills all of my flowering zucchini plants with a strimmer. I am brand new to gardening. I haven't been able to work thanks to the pandemic and have been coping in part by gardening. I spent the last month and a half to two months nurturing those plants. And surely, a landscaper should be able to tell if something is a vegetable plant and not a weed?? So reddit, WIBTA if I contacted the landscaping company to complain? Edit: I have also just noticed that he has decimated some flowering bulbs I planted earlier this year, too. ######

NTA There's absolutely no good reason for him to have done this. I would he furious, especially at my bulbs being torn up. I'd not only complain, but expect compensation for new plants and or the vegetables I would have gotten from them. ######

Recently we found out some information about my brother in law’s baby momma. The pair is separated, but not divorced, and share custody of their children. My husband’s sister told us that his brother’s baby mama showed up at her house driving drunk, with the children in the car. This woman and his brother have three children together, all under the age of 12. One of the children (6) had also told her that their mom had let them go swimming that day and talked about how she had helped her little sister (4) back onto the steps when she fell off. His sister said that it was none of her business and that she was not going to tell their brother. Of course, later that night I pressed the issue with my husband. He was extremely uncomfortable about it. I kept telling him that I love those children and that I couldn’t not bear the thought of anything happening to them and that he needed to tell his brother about the incident. Finally, after pressing the issue until the next morning he sent a text to his brother explaining what he had heard. A few nights ago we also learned that the baby mama had been involuntarily admitted into the hospital for mental health reasons. She told my husband’s brother that she couldn’t pick up the kids because she was “sick”. No one in the family wants to tell him the real reason because it is “not my business”. I went off on my husband about this. I feel that no one is taking the safety of these kids seriously. I understand that not all mentally ill people are at risk of harming their children, but the father of the children definitely has a right to know. I also don’t understand why his whole family (his sister, his brother, and his mother) are keeping this from him. I told my husband that it is his business if he cares about his nieces and nephews. He told me to not stick my nose where it doesn’t belong. He refuses to tell his brother about what has happened. I have told him that if he doesn’t, then I will. AITA? ######

NTA There is never an excuse to leave a kid in a potentially dangerous home. Ever. Even if it’s “none of their business”. Again like you said, she may not be a danger to her kids, and I would say that she shouldn’t have them taken away right now. Especially because it seems like she might be getting some help. But the father NEEDS to know. If it were her family that didn’t want to tell him, I’d understand more, but it’s HIS family? Oh my lord. You’re definitely not in the wrong here from what I can tell. Honestly, if I was in your shoes, I’d try to find a way to tell him, and just not tell anyone that you’re the one who told him. And Id make it be explicitly clear to him that his family all know and don’t want him to know. Because that’s just ridiculous. But obviously that’s just me lol. His kids need to be taken care of properly, and even if the mother is getting help/starts getting help, it’s important that he knows and understands what is going on. If only so that he can help her manage the kids at times when she can’t take them. But also so he can be on the lookout for warning signs. Edit: I somehow missed the part where you said you told your husband that you would tell him if he didn’t. Good for you! Thank you for caring about those children. I hope it all works out for you all and not too many bridges are burned. ######

My boyfriend and I are both 26. We’ve been together for nearly 3 years and we have a 2 year old son together. He had a 6 year old son from a prior relationship. When we first got together I made it very clear that my immediate role is not to assume the position of being a step mom. He’d often push this on me and have his son call me step mom...this happened for a few months and then I nipped it in the bud. I made it clear that I will continue to be a role model in his life, also it’s not like his actual mom isn’t in the picture. My boyfriend has always talked about how much he misses his son and I would tell him to start working like you love him. Make efforts to get some type of rights because the mother only “allows” phone calls/ video chats which are often limited. When it has come time to buy him things that he needs, I have been there to provide birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, and basic necessities and would say it’s from me AND him. And I did this before having our own child together. Now fast forward to yesterday, he finally calls a lawyer and asked me to drop half this Friday to get started. I’m all for support, but AITA for feeling some type of way? He told me during the dating stage that his relationship with his son and the mother were great...but once we made it official it was another story (He also cheated on me with her, still no clarity on what actually happened, but something did). Like I get the fact that he wants his child, but why must I pay?? Is this the norm for couples who have had children prior? Instead of buying all this beer and that XBOX, he could have paid it in full on his own. He said he’d pay me back, but I still had to tell him how I felt. ######

NTA There are some serious 🚩🚩🚩 here. No, it is not your duty to pay half of the legal fees here. He doesn't sound like the most responsible person, and he has not been the best partner to you. ######

So this happened about a month ago, but I’m still wondering if I was in the wrong here. Throwaway. So I (22M) was bullied a lot growing up, all the way through high school, both verbally and physically. Some of the most common things I was called were things like “fag”, “faggot”, “homo”, “queer”, and I was often times beaten up in conjunction with that. When I finally got into my teen years and started to question myself, thought I might be bi, a lot of the trauma caused internalized homophobia and made it really hard on me but in the last year or so I’ve really come to terms and started to accept who I am. So I was using Tinder the other night, just swiping through a lot of people without paying attention. One of the people I matched with messaged me. Seeing his name and photo again I did a double take and then realized it was one the kids who used to bully me and use a lot of those same slurs, and was surprised to know he was actually gay. I asked him if he remembered me, he said yeah and I told him about what he did in the past and asked if he remembers that as well. He said it really doesn’t matter, it was a long time ago and that I should just forget about it. I told him to go fuck himself, and that I hope he never fully accepts himself like I eventually did. I told my brother about it, and he said it was a long time ago and that while he understands my anger people do change. I get that, but did he really though? He didn’t apologize, and just pretends like it never happened. AITA for what I said? ######

NTA There are plenty of self hating people, even more so in the gay community when they're young. They lash out as a result. The sheer fact that he remember what he did, is gay now, and had no interest in apologizing means he is just a shit person. He doesn't feel remotely bad about the harmful hippocrite he was/is. ######

So I have this friend that is on the more overweight side of the scale. I do not hold it against her and she can be super fun to be around, but recently she has just been talking about her weight and made the people around her feel uncomfortable about their weight. Some examples are: We would be going shopping (pre covid-19) and I would try on a cute outfit and ask her for her opinion and she would say something like "Do you have to try it out in front of me you know how I feel about my body and you are super skinny (which btw is a lie I am a size 3-4)" We would go out and me and the others would grab burgers with fries and she would complain about how it is unfair that we eat that type of food in front of her when we know she is on a "diet" (she had been "dieting" since she was kid). Another time she got mad that I wanted to lose weight after we just had a holiday and I had gained a few pound. SHe told me that what I was doing was bad for me and that it is disrespectful to lose weight, when she couldn't. Which btw is not true, she claims her body is not capable to lose weight, which I call bs because i have seen her lose weight before she is just too lazy to actually commit to a proper diet and exercise. Now to the actual part about what happened that made me lose my sh\*t. Since there is the whole Covid-19 situation and my friend lives with me and we are stuck together. I don't mind it too much since she is still ok, but she got mad at me for exercising in my home in front of her. I was also watching tv and eating chips and she felt offended. She kept on whining and whining about her body and her being overweight and how she is insecure. I then just snapped and told her to lose weight and commit to a diet or shut up" AITA for saying that or should I just have ignored it. SHe is in her room right now and hasn't talked to me in a few days. My friends have mixed feelings about what happened some say I was in the right, others disagree. Reddit AITA? ######

NTA The world doesn't revolve around her. Your group deciding what they want to eat has nothing to do with her. You trying on clothes for yourself has nothing to do with her. Exercising IN YOUR HOME in a SHARED SPACE also has nothing to do with her. She should stop being a narcissist and realise that she isn't the only person in the whole world. ######

I'm 33 and I work in a pretty famous university. I'm considered pretty senior and I often interact with the admissions office. All my siblings have gone to this school. And we've all gotten in with our grades and activities. My parents had a pretty bad divorce and my siblings and I have subconsciously sided with my mother all these years. My dad's son with his new wife is now 18 and applying to university. My dad messaged me earlier in the year and asked if I could put in a good word for my half brother with the admissions office. I'm not really close with my half brother and stepmom so I said I don't think I can do much. But I guess my dad thought I said I'd at least try. I was actually contacted by a colleague about my half brother's application and apparently he was just shy of a percent for a grade cut-off. He asked me if I thought my half brother would be a good fit. I responded back saying that I don't believe in nepotism and that he should be evaluated like any other student. And that I'm not close enough to him to give a proper reference. I'm not sure if my colleague read into my tone but my half brother has since been rejected. I've had a few angry calls from my dad. AITA for not helping my half brother out? ######

NTA The school had a requirement and he failed to meet said requirement. He doesn't deserve to get in because he happens to be somewhat related to someone with some influence. If he really wants to go to that school he can take summer classes or extracurriculars or whatever makes him actually qualified to get in. ######

I have a group of friends from my old college, and we've been doing video calls often. A couple of my friends have a new friend John, and he'll join for zoom. I was nice to him at first but honestly he's been kinda creepy to me, like wanting to get my Snapchat even though I say I haven't used it in years and don't even have it installed. Or go out with me after the quarantine is over, I've said I'm not interested and he just pushes it. So I haven't been too nice anymore, I'll just answer him with "fuck off" Anyway I know some of the other girls in the group have picked up on the weirdness. I think the guys who first invited John are more oblivious. I had a conversation with two of my girl friends saying I was so done hanging out with John. On the next call, John was saying, not even to me, but at the group, that he wanted to take me out to some place after quarantine. I just hung up. I called my actual friends on another service and some of them left the original call to pick up, and I said I was done hanging out with John, but if they wanted to hang with me now or later I'd be down. They stayed on the call and a couple more of my friends joined too, till it was everyone but John and two guys in the new call. I don't know video call etiquette but I don't see what I did as anything worse than walking out of a party like "I'm out guys, anyone coming with?" But it's caused an argument in the friend group, the two guys who didn't pick up my call said it was petty and catty of me to split off a new group without John and if I wanted to leave I could have without doing that. Most of my friends are coming with what I did though, they're kind of feeling bothered by the stuff John says. AITA for leaving the video call and making another without the person who was hitting on me ######

NTA The only two people who seem to be annoyed with you are the two assholes who stayed on the call with John, even though he was making you uncomfortable enough that you had to leave the call. So fuck them, they have crappy judgement anyway. ######

My husband and I are childfree. We don’t want kids, have never wanted kids. I actually got my tubes tied 2 years ago. We’ve been married for the past 10 years, together a total of 12 years. Before me, my husband had one serious relationship. I knew of her because they had broken up about 2 months before we got together. Never met her, but knew her name and heard of her, etc. About 6 months ago, she added my husband on FB and said they had a kid together. My husband had no idea and I do believe him because while he is childfree, he’s not the type to just skip out on responsibilities. He also told me right away. He asked for a DNA test and it was confirmed that yes, his ex’s daughter is biologically his. His ex said that she didn’t want anything from us, but the young girl wanted to know him. The thing is, my husband doesn’t want to know her. He’s not the dad type. I think his ex knew and that’s why she didn’t tell him. He’s offered to pay child support going forward which I support, we can afford it. But I’m not going to force him to get to know his daughter. If he chose to, I’d support it but he doesn’t. I guess in the meantime my ILs have gotten to know the girl, which I think is fine. My husband is okay with it too. However, they think he’s wrong for not seeing her and that I’m “enabling him”. To me, it’s his choice and it’s the right one. I talked to a friend. She and her husband are also childfree. She says that if she were in my shoes, she’d tell him to at least meet her. AITA for not encouraging a relationship with these two? ######

NTA The only AH is the ex for keeping the child a secret from the father for 12 years. ######

first thing first, english is not my first language so sorry for any grammar mistakes. this happened back in January, and she still wont talk to me unless i apologize. a little background, i am 37M. got married to the love of my life, my wife when we were both 28. unfortunately she passed away 2 years ago from cancer and ive been single since. with therapy, I've made my peace with her passing. im still sad, but im okay with that. so back in January my mother hosted a small gathering and she invited her friend, anna. she's said some hurtful words in the past, but since i dont see her very often i usually let it slide. so i was talking to my sister when she sat next to me and began asking me if i ever want to remarry, find someone new. i said no, i dont want to talk about it. but she kept insisting that i need to have a new wife so i dont get lonely. i replied, i have my cats and my therapist. i can talk to either of them. then she asked again, but what if you get sexually frustrated? who will help you? your hand? at this point i start getting annoyed, i keep raising my voice, telling her if she doesnt shut up i will leave. she then had the nerve to tell me she could always find me a wife, that she doesn't mind if i take her daughter. true to my word, i left. few days later i got a panicked call from annas daughter asking if im really marrying her so i was like wtf? no. she told me her mom said that. i reassured her that id deal this issue with her mom. fyi her daughter is 22 and i liked her talking to her, but at most i feel like an older brother to her. besides she has a boyfriend already. so i called anna and told her if she does this again i will sue her for repeated harassment (here, suing someone IS a big deal) then she called my mom saying im an asshole but luckily my mom is on my side. my mom said something like if (op) doesnt want to, its his decision. she yelled at us both and apparently blocked us on Facebook, and made some posts about it. ######

NTA The love of your life died, and you mom's friend is trying to set you up with other women? No. That's not right. She was your one. No one can replace her, so no one should try. ######

Hi, this is my first post here. I'm a 23M living in the US and recently moved away to start my career writing. I'm an author and I've already written my first book. While moving, I forgot to bring some stuff from my old house. I remembered my set of Legos, I literally had two suitcases full of Legos from when I was little. They were all kinds - star wars, buildings, famous places, vehicles and stuff. I don't really remember everything but I had a formula1 Lego too. Long story short when I went back, I asked my mom where my Lego set was, and she seemed reluctant to tell me. I persisted and she told me it was in the attic. Then we went up and I saw the suitcases. When I opened them my mom said that it was probably too late for me to play with Legos and she'd sell them if she could. Now my childhood was kind of hard, because we didn't have much to spend. The Lego sets were a gift from my uncle and he used to give me 2-3 sets in an year. It was my only pastime and there are a lot of memories associated with them. Anyway I said no immediately and my mom was kinda angry, she said that you have to sell them now. I asked why and she said it was taking up a lot of space. Then i offered to move them to my apartment but she refused, saying that I'm too old for them. I picked up the Lego sets and put them in my car, with my mom following and protesting. She was really angry and wouldn't talk to me even after I tried to reason with her. AITA for not selling my Lego set and taking it to my house? ######

NTA The LEGO blocks are yours and you were right to reclaim them. 8t sounds like your Mom had plans to sell them for the money. ######

I don't have a relationship with my biological father. He left her when she got pregnant and never acknowledged that he had a child, always saying she was lying. She did prove paternity in court and got an order for child support. At the time at least, he had a job making well over 6 figures that was handed to him by his parents as well as rental properties, so the ordered amount was pretty high. He refused to pay it at all and somehow got away with it. My mother has died and I'm her only child. He's never had a relationship with me, and in this matter, I wanted justice for my mother. While I couldn't independently sue for that back child support, I could essentially sue on behalf of her estate. I won, and he owed me almost $350,000, plus my legal fees. He cried poor, but the judgment was paid almost immediately, so either he was not, or his parents bailed him out. I've seen his wife's social media, and she's posting about "bastards wanting a payday" and other tears. Some of my friends and family think that I shouldn't have just used the legal system to get money that wasn't technically mine. AITA? ######

Nta The law was on your side. You got what is rightfully yours. The world needs more deadbeats being held accountable for their actions. So good for you! I would be extra petty and call his wife out for slander/defamation. ######

My wife will sometimes bring her Mom over to my family's events, sometimes the more intimate ones like the Holidays, Mother/Father's Day, you get the idea with more intimate events like that. Sometimes I am told by her the day of or the night before that she has invited her Mom already without consulting with me. So when we'd go over to one of my siblings house they are surprised to see my MIL show up. After an event last year, one of my siblings called me to say that, they do love my MIL and enjoy her company, just if we can refrain from bringing her to the more intimate events so that it's just immediate family. However other events like my nieces/nephews birthdays, bbq, outdoor events are fine. In a sense I get what my siblings are saying, as sometimes I do just want immediate family at events, and this includes with my wife's family as well. I don't know if you all think that way as well. I spoke to my wife about this, about how we should just do more immediate family at those more intimate events and she went quiet, I also brought up how it would be the same situation with her family that I do just want immediate family at more intimate events. And she got upset that my siblings seem like that don't want her at family events even after they've said she's family. A side note here, in my culture, it's polite to say to guest or non-immediate family that they are invited and always welcome, but typically speaking it's just courtesy. My wife took it to heart as we are her mom's only immediate family in town as her brother does not live in the same city as her mom. The next morning she was upset with me as well for not taking her side or defending her for bringing her Mom to those events. It's just a cause a small friction between my wife and siblings. So Reddit, a AITA for not defending my wife? ######

NTA The hosts can invite whoever they like to their events. Its understandable your wife would want to include her mother seeing as she seems to be the only family in town on her side, but hosts set the rules. You two could always host and invite family from both your sides, or do separate events for each side of the family. There are compromises to be found here. ######

I [30F] was at a bar with friends back when that was still a thing and was approached by a past hookup who was clearly still interested. I told him that I wasn’t and he left us alone after that, but one of my friends (childhood friend of BF) was super offended that I hadn’t disclosed that I’d had a boyfriend when I turned him down. In my mind, turning a guy down by saying you have a bf is weaker than saying that you have no interest, period. Some guys don’t really care if you already have a bf, and from what I knew I’m pretty sure past hookup was in that category. She seemed to think not bringing it up was disrespectful because it gives appearance that I might be willing to cheat if it’s with the right person. I kind of get the perspective, but it feels like she’s looking for a way to twist my words and somehow make this unwanted situation my fault. I gave my BF a heads up and he didn’t really care, but some of our friends were acting weird about it. AITA? ######

NTA The "I have a boyfriend"-line is the worst thing you can say to guys who don't get the hint. In their mind you are basically telling them "I would totally date you, if I wasn't taken" or "If you are better than my BF, you might have a chance". So no, you did nothing wrong! ######

Last night I (24) did chores for my boyfriend (30). He was cleaning out pens and told me to leave when I was done with chores;after I finished I helped him move a feeder and said goodbye. He told me that he was going to come back to the apartment once he was done. I woke up at 5 am and he wasn’t back yet. I texted me asking where he was and he said that was just got out of the ER. He flipped over the skid-steer. I first asked him if he was okay and than asked why he didn’t call or text me, or even his mother, and he said because I was sleeping. I went to do chores at 5:30 and him and his mom just got back. He said I was making a big deal over him not letting me know about going to the ER. I said a simple “hey this happened but I am fine. I’ll call you when I leave” but I didn’t get anything. Am I the asshole of being upset? Keep in mind he posted a Snapchat story about being in the ER before he told me. ######

NTA That’s hard. And I only say he’s an ass because he’s dismissing your worries and didn’t let you know when he realized you’d wake up without him. It’s hard to wake up like that and not know- I’ve been there. ######

Throwaway maybe future account I am a 15 year old girl who has a mom. A few years ago my dad cheated and guess what we are divorced. Anyway my mom does not like me for having a relationship with my dad and expect me to hate him for cheating. Anyway a few weeks ago my mother adopted my sister who has the same exact name to me and gave her last name. So have the same exact names woo hoo. Anyway today my mom was talking to her friend who is right next to her my mom got a brand new apartment so my friend mom asked for my sister but I thought she was asking about ME so I went in. She looked really confused. I then told her that my mom replaced me with a shiny new "toy" and that she pretends I don't exist. I am just stuck here because of a custody agreement. My mom came out and so me and was immidietly embarrassed. Her friend asked about me and she called me a failure. At this point her friend stopped and told her that she was not fit to parent and that she does not want to be a friend with her. Anyway she left. At home my mom yelled at me for making her loose a friend and that she hates me now. I think I might have ruined my moms only friend ship which might make me the bad girl ######

NTA That’s abuse...I would tell your dad and maybe live with him. ######

Okay, hear me out. I live in a complex that is built in a circle so its like a track. A lot of people use it to run, walk, etc. I've always used it to run/walk as well. I live in Florida so I usually wear leggings and a sports bra or a tank top. I literally only wear it because it's insanely hot here. This woman always gave me dirty looks when I'd walk by her apartment (she'd be sitting on her porch.) There are a few maintenance guys (not sure if that is the correct title for them - but that is what everyone calls them) that walk and ride around on golf carts throughout the day. I soon realized that the dirty look woman is married to one of the maintenance workers. I am always polite to them, but have never talked to them by any means. So, yesterday I was working out on the tennis court which is near their apartment. Her and her husband were sitting on the porch. She is giving me the dirtiest looks and is making me pretty uncomfortable but I try to ignore it. Before I leave she says, "Do you like get off on having the maintenance men check you out all day?" To which I replied, "Actually yes it makes me super wet. They are what keeps my sex drive high." She looked shocked and her husband starting laughing and then she smacked him on the arm. I came back and told my mom this story and she said I should be more sensitive and obviously the woman is insecure. Now I kinda feel bad. AITA? ######

NTA That's hysterical. At least her husband thought so! No, it wasn't the most demure response, but the woman thought she could shame you, but instead you embarrassed her! She'll think twice before talking crap like that again to a perfect stranger. ######

I get food stamps. Not a lot but enough to pay for what I need and a little extra. Got a roommate a few months ago and everything was going great. Paid rent on time. Bought food and everything. Now it's not so great. He doesn't buy food for the house he buys this minute microwave meals for himself which was fine. I still had my food. Well few weeks ago he lost his job and is supposed to start a new one soon. But I'm that time I been helping out by cooking a little extra and sharing what I had. Things have been right trying to pay our bills and food but not bad. Well tonight kind of pissed me off. I had a late lunch and didn't feel like cooking yet so I was into my game and he rolls into the kitchen and starts cooking. And I mean actual cooking. I was kind of happy I wouldn't have to cook dinner ya know? Boy was I wrong. I head him cleaning up so I got take a look and there's one plate LOADED with eggs bacon hash browns sausage and grits. So I asked where's mine and he says I didn't know u wanted any and walked off. I mean Not only did he use my food to make this meal he ate the sausages I had pulled out for me and him to share. I just don't know I'm so angry over this that it's got me shaking. So am I the Ass hole if I confront him about this tomorrow? Or should I let this go? ######

NTA That was your food!! And he took it, made himself food, made the whole place smell like eggs and bacon and hash browns (what are grits?) and now just reading this I want a plate too. And he left a mess. How inconsiderate! Edit: I will definitely try grits in a variety of ways next time I'm in the southern US! ######

So with everything going on myself, my girlfriend and many others who have been laid off have been getting $2000 CAD every month. I’ve been saving mine but I recently found out my girlfriend has been giving this money to her parents. We’re both students, and her parents (so far) have been paying her tuition for her. However she took the last semester off to do something else. During this time her parents took out a student loan in my gfs name, I thought this was strange since they were supposed to be the ones paying, why would they not just take out the loan in their own names..? Surely the rates would be better? But my gf seemed fine with it. Turns out that none of that money has gone towards school though. Her parents had a previous loan used pay for house renovations, and they’ve been using my gfs student loan to pay that previous loan off. All the while my girlfriend has been using her $2000 unemployment money to pay off the student loan in her name, based on the idea that her mom will “pay her back later”. So after everything, my girlfriend has essentially been handed over her parents debt, kept almost none of her unemployment money, and the student loan in her name never actually went towards school. I told her her parents are either manipulating her or really really bad with money. She called me an asshole for being so distrusting of her parents. Does this not raise red flags for anyone else? Am I the asshole here? ######

NTA That sounds like fraud, taking out a student loan in someone else's name, and using it for other purposes. Maybe I'm wrong, but that sounds extremely dodgy and like your girlfriend is going to be stuck paying off a major loan with interest and getting no benefit from it. ######

So, I have a younger sister. She is twelve, and I am eighteen (I'm a high school Senior). Ever since we were younger, she has always asked me to do small tasks for her (such as bringing her an object, or throwing something out for her). At first, I didn't really mind. I didn't want to be mean, and it wasn't that big of a deal, so I kept doing it. However, her requests have become more frequent recently. She always asks me to put her devices on charge (such as her phone, tablet, and headphones), fetch her water, and other such tasks for seemingly no other reason than because she's too lazy to do them herself. Whenever she asks me fetch her objects, the said objects would always be close to her, and the fact that she refuses to get them herself is just mind-boggling to me. I tried to refuse her several times, saying that she can do it herself and that she doesn't need my help, but whenever I do, she would throw a fit, saying that I "have to do it", because it's "part of a routine". I just don't understand why she's being so stubborn. I know that she's younger, and still a kid, but I feel like this behavior is immature, even for her age. We have gotten into a few fights about it, and she doesn't seem to understand why this irritates me. She thinks I'm the one being stubborn and unreasonable. I just want her to understand that I can't do things for her all the time. Even if they are little in hindsight, I don't wanna feel obligated or forced to do them. It doesn't feel fair to me. Am I being unreasonable here for not wanting to comply with her demands? Am I the one being immature? Am I in the wrong here for not wanting to do small tasks for her all the time? ######

NTA That said, twelve year olds are insane and you'll want to think a lot about how you approach her to avoid her going crazy again and making a hassle ######

Since it's usually just the two of us, my daughter and I are really comfortable at home when iy comes to what we wear or rather what we don't wear. All this was fine because, again, it was just the two of us. When my boyfriend comes around to spend the night or the weekend, we'd dress more 'appropriately' for the duration of his stay and then go back to our normal when he's gone. With everything that's been happening, I wanted my boyfriend to stay with us because we don't know when it will end. Before inviting him over, I asked my daughter how she felt about that and clarified that this would be indefinite. She said she was cool with it and I invited him. The first week went well and she wore other comfort clothes. Then things completely changed within a day. The first incident, my boyfriend and I were in the kitchen making breakfast and she came in wearing just underwear and a towel on her head (just came out of the shower). Breasts completely bare and she didn't even care to try cover them up. Instead she just walked in, greeted us casually, grabbed herself a glass of water then left. My boyfriend didn't say a word and I could tell he wasn't entirely comfortable with this so I tried talking to my daughter about but her response was that she wasn't naked. Now she's been wearing short shorts around the house with just a bra (sometimes) etc. My boyfriend says it doesn't matter anymore because he's used to it now but I don't want him to be used to seeing my daughter like that. It's inappropriate. So I confronted her about this and told her to dress better in his presence but she bit me off about how I should be happy she's that comfortable around him and with her body. We're now constantly arguing over this and I'm wondering if I'm TA ######

NTA That kitchen scene is really weird, why would she walk out in front of your boyfriend with her baps out? She should feel comfortable in her home, however she is pushing it too far. ######

I'm a guy. Me and my sister still live with our parents. My sister has a girlfriend. I woke at a store that sells a lot of clothes. I get really nice discounts on stuff I buy there. My sister's girlfriend asked me if I could buy a bra for her from there, and then she'd pay me back. Its a specific and fairly expensive kind of bra. She'd save money this way. I said sure and did it. Didn't think much of it. After I mentioned buying it to my sister, she got very angry at me. Saying its super innapropriate and pervy. She even asked me if I was attracted to her girlfriend (I'm not). She even told me that if her gf ever wore it during sexy time it'd kill the mood since she'd think about me. Our mom is on my sister's side. My girlfriend and all my female friends said I did nothing wrong and my sister is overreacting. I really didn't have bad intentions. ######

NTA That girl asked if you could buy something for her in the store you are working in so she could have a nice discount. You did. If your sister has a problem with that, then she should discuss it with her girlfriend. ######

Context: Since I was born I have had a skin condition which causes my skin to dry easily and even crack open in cold times of year. I also have never been very lovey dovey which my parents blame on me not being allowed to have skin to skin contact with them for the first to weeks of my life due to having little to no liver. I stopped hugging people at 3 and would scream and cry if people new to the family or other young kids would attempt to hug me. As everyone knows almost everywhere is under lockdown currently, which means my dad who travels for work is home and my mum who travels for fun is also home. I am an extrovert but I still prefer to always be a distance away from people so they don’t accidentally or purposely have physical contact with me. Recently my parents have decided since I am unable to go to therapy to help with my distance issues due to covid(insurance would pay for face to face but not online as they no longer consider it occasional) they would help “fix” it themselves. They have been purposely making me sit in the middle of the couch and cuddle them even though it makes me very uncomfortable and if I am tired enough I panic rather than sit in the lounge chair sofa thing they have for me in the living room. Last night I went to tell my mum goodnight and before I left she pulled me down and forced a hug on me which immediately sent me off, and I told her to not hug me EVER as she knows by now I hate it. She got mad and complained to my dad he went off on me for being upset by such a small thing and that I needed to get over this “don’t touch” me BS, as now that I’m in my teens I should have grown out of it as I am no longer a little kid and the phase should have ended. AITA for being upset and uncomfortable with this as my entire family except 2 of my siblings are on my parents side with me needing to just accept the hugs and kisses I normally refuse. ######

NTA Tell your parents that their armchair psychology is making everything worse. They are not experts in treating and even though they try to help they are causing a lot more harm than good. Nobody needs to accept hugs and kisses. It's called not giving consent and your parents must respect that. ######

So my sister (24) just gave birth to my niece barely two weeks ago, she also has a son, my nephew. After my nephew was born both me and my brother was forced to watch him, if we didn't we would be yelled at or we would be called selfish. Anyway, today she went for a drive with my nephew, didn't bother to take her daughter because she was about to sleep. Now, I know taking care of a six-year-old and a newborn is not easy, but she should have been prepared before she even thought about getting pregnant again (she wanted another baby). I don't think she should just expect us to keep an eye on her or something. Should I tell her this or should I just leave and hope she doesn't do it again? I don't want to get on her bad side, but I don't want to become a personal nanny again at the age of 17 but I also don't want to be selfish. I don't know what to do anymore. She is very emotional and takes things far too personal. So am I the asshole. ######

NTA Talk to her about it, if she keeps being an asshole talk to your parents, if you dont have any other options start saving money and move out, those kids are not your responsability, if she keeps leaving them without warning you should talk to someone to start giving her warning ######

Don't be scared by the title, I'll explain. (I'm a bit new to reddit, sorry if I don't do everything like I should !) So, a few hours ago, my mother took a picture of me. Seems harmless right ? I was dressed, in a normal position, nothing wrong with the picture itself I guess. But here's the twisted part : She took it without asking, to send it to her cousin (A nice woman, but I still don't want her to receive a random photo of me). I asked her to delete it, I dislike having pictures taken of me in general. She didn't delete it, and started getting mad because I was angry at her and talking a bit roughly. My father supported her. It didn't seem weird to them to do something like that. It's actually not the first time she does something like that. Did I overreact? AITA for getting mad at them ? ######

NTA Taking pictures of someone without their consent shows lack of respect and is a breach of privacy. Does not matter if they are for "memories", nobody should take pictures of you against your will. ######

Greetings everyone, I would like to begin by advising that this is my first post here so... bear with me please. With that being said, if I break any rules here please let me know, thank you :) With *that* out of the way, here we go! I’ll keep it brief, my name is Jay, and I have a girlfriend who lives an hour away, we haven’t seen each other in a month so online contact is crucial.l, which that being said, I am a person who enjoys getting healthy hours of sleep, meanwhile, my girlfriend goes to sleep at 5:00AM and wakes up like at 3:00PM. And that is the only damn time she makes for me, at midnight and up. Which frustrates me because she makes almost no time for me and time for me. She proceeds to guilt me into not making time for her at night. I’d 100% prefer to sleep and wake up happy to have productive day then listen to my girlfriend ramble about her basic friends and scroll endlessly through Instagram. She doesn’t even care about how I am emotionally/physically/spiritually when we talk etc. AITA?!? Nor does she appreciate me risking my sleeping hours to listen to her. Our situations: -She is rich and the only child in the house -I am struggling due to a legal situation from my dad and have 4 siblings who live with me Note: yes I’ve discussed this with her and told her every single detail mentioned here, she proceeds to tell me I’m boring or “boomer” (haha funnies), or simply doesn’t care. By the way... thanks for reading this at least, it means a lot :) ######

NTA Taking care of yourself, even in a relationship, has to be your first priority. If you haven’t had enough sleep (especially on a regular basis) then there’s no way you will be rested enough to be a good partner to her and a good person to yourself If the only time she makes for you is 00.00 - 05.00 then that’s an issue, since that is widely regarded as sleepy time by the average person. It’s unreasonable for her to guilt you into being free then. ETA: If she says she doesn’t care when you need sleep, that’s a red flag. I felt that was important to mention. In no scenario should she be more important then your basic wellbeing and she shouldn’t be pressuring you to treat her as such. ######

For context, I'm sixteen and my brother is eight and autistic. My brother is developing an infection on his leg that's getting worse every day. Just three months ago, I had to do a major surgery on both legs for this exact infection - MRSA - and almost had to amputate. I can tell that my brother is developing the same thing, but my parents are refusing to take him to the hospital and insist on using various creams on the spot that aren't prescribed and don't seem to be helping. I've asked both my parents to please take him to the hospital, because I struggled so much with my own surgery and Im hoping if we take him now, we won't have to operate on his legs. However, my mom is insistent that it's no big deal (she insisted this last time when it happened to me too, which is why my legs got so bad before I was taken to emergency). My dad just complains about how my mom would yell if he took him to the hospital and we've argued about this but he won't budge. I want to take my brother to the hospital, maybe early in the morning before my parents wake up. I can cover the Healthcare costs with the money I've earned tutoring and all the money I've saved all my life from birthdays and holidays. Granted, I can't sign consent forms for him as I'm not an adult yet, but that's only if he needs surgery and I don't think he does yet, though he will if it goes untreated for a week. ######

NTA Take him to the hospital and tell them repeatedly that your parents are refusing to get him medical care. ######

This occurred around a month ago and this incident recently came to light. I (16M) was out with my friend (17F) at a park and these two girls (I'm guessing same age as us) saw me. They were chatting shit about us in Turkish (talking about how foreigners keep on entering their country, trying to guess where we're from and just basically gossiping about me in particular) I didn't mind and done my best to ignore them, until one of them yelled "Hey chocolate boy!" at me (reference to my skin color, I'm black). They didn't know that I knew Turkish (I lived here for nearly 2 years now) and I took my opportunity to make a cheeky comment. I smiled and casually replied back "You like chocolate huh? Wanna try some?" and I gave them a wink. They were surprised that I understood them, but then their expression quickly changed to disgust at my comment. They gave me a dirty look and quickly walked away. My friend (who doesn't know as much of the language as I do) asked what I said and I told her. She called me immature for doing so and said that my comment was "unwarranted and inappropriate". In my opinion, I don't think I messed up that bad. They were being racist and I decided to make a joke out of it. But now that I got this story off my chest, I want to see if I'm the asshole because of it. ######

NTA Sure, unprompted, that would have been pretty lewd and inappropriate. But it was in response to a racist remark being flung at you. What do they say; play shitty games, win shitty prizes? You keep being awesome ######

I (26F) currently live in a 4bed flat, I have one son who’s 2, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 17 months and we decided we were ready to move in together. My boyfriend (37) has two children, 13 and 10. Currently my rooms are; sons room, my room and study where I work and my sons toys stay otherwise it’s a lot of clutter which I hate. The spare room has a built in wardrobe, could fit two single beds and a vanity, we could even put a tv up on the wall. I told my boyfriend the plans for the room, asked if he agreed and he did agree, we’ve got the whole room set up and showed it to the girls, saying it’s probably only temporary anyway as we are thinking of having another child and I want a garden. The eldest (13) started yelling about how she deserves her own space and how it’s a joke to expect her to share a room with her younger sister for two weeks of the month. My boyfriend has been told by his ex that we can’t just cram them into a spare room, I don’t believe we’re doing that and now the eldest is refusing to visit. I work from home so I really do need the study, my boyfriend wants me to work in our bedroom. I’ve refused, I shared a room growing up and I’m fine plus it’s only temporary. So now my boyfriends upset with me, his ex is upset with me and so is his daughter. AITA? ######

NTA Sure, everyone having a room to themselves is nicer than sharing, especially in your teenage years. But as you've said, it's only temporarily. You need your work space and with younger kids in the house, working in the living room is not really an option. Do I even have to comment on working in the bedroom? There are tons of articles recommending you separate your resting and your working space for psychological reasons. Don't cave in. It's your house. ######

I (f,21) have been buying icecream from our local icecream shop since the corona crisis forced it shut. They now deliver. I love their icecream and I want to support local buisinesses now as much as possible, which is why I buy from them as opposed to the supermarket. Their icecream is however really expensive. I can get one 150 ml cup for the same price as I could get a liter bin of icecream in the supermarket. Even Ben en Jerry’s is about half as expensive as this icecream. I pay about $30 for 1500 ml (But it has super intense and very experimental flavours, great quality). Now that I ordered their icecream (I order 10 small cups once per two weeks) my mom has been asking me for a cup, which is fine by me. A second one, also fine. But yesterday she asked for her fourth cup and I said no. She has been acting like i refused her love or something, but i simply don’t want to give away all my (expensive) icecream. I look forward to it, and even though I don’t mind sharing some of it, I do want most. I also ask her everytime I order if she wants some for her and my dad too. She always says no. (And then asks for mine). I feel really bad now because she makes a big deal out of it, and it’s just icecream. But then again, I asked her if she wanted any and she said no. I feel entitled to my icecream. Am I the asshole? ######

NTA Stock some basic ice cream cups from the supermarket and give those to her when she asks. Super premium ice cream is your bliss, but if she doesn't want to buy it herself, she can eat the basic brand. ######

I’ll keep it short and sweet. So my friend (I’ll call him Steve) is known as a huge flirt amongst our friends. We call him the bulldog, cause he literally takes every chance he gets to flirt with any female in range, even though he has a girlfriend. From buying girls random stuff to just weird and uncalled for compliments, he’s the ultimate flirt. So anyway, I was at a small get together with some friends last weekend, and Steve was there, without his girlfriend. Steve was all over my girl, but I let it slide because I trust my girlfriend. (This has nothing to do with her, In not upset with her in the slightest) My girlfriend starts drinking pretty heavily, and begins throwing up halfway through the night. I’m taking care of her, and Steve starts to help as well. At first I was happy for the help, but as soon as I walked away to get some water, Steve swoops in and starts rubbing her back, and holding her neck with his hands. He was REALLY close. I didn’t really care, but it gets weirder. I try to come by her side and hold her hair back, but he kind of blocks me off! He put his arm around her to carry her off to sit in her and my tent. At this point, I really think there is no point at all for him to be helping. If anything, he’s making it worse for her. I mean if I were puking my guts out I’d rather there be nobody around except for maybe one person. Later that night, my girlfriend told me that Steve kept asking for hugs because he and his girlfriend were not in a good spot and he missed her. What?????!! However, she did say that I shouldn’t be mad and that Steve was genuinely just trying to help out the situation. He CAN be a nice and selfless person, but I was a little too weirded out to tell. Was he just being nice? Am I just being jealous? ######

NTA Steve sounds predatory in his actions towards women. ######

My parents announced that after everything has calmed down, they want to move to another town about four hours away from here. I don't want to go with them for a few reasons: 1. I'll be a junior in high school next year, and I don't want to start over at a new school and leave my friends behind, just to change everything again when I go to college two years later. 2. The town is in the middle of nowhere and doesn't sound like a place I'd like. 3. I don't want to leave my grandparents, who raised me. My grandparents said I don't have to go if I don't want to, and that I can stay with them. Technically my parents could make me move with them, but they really can't because my grandparents are giving them money for the move and bills. My grandparents said they would not give my parents anything if they forced me to move with them, so my parents would be stuck here anyway. My parents tried to convince me that the new town would be great, and told me that I should tell my grandparents that I wanted to move away, so that we could get the money. I feel bad because my parents aren't all bad and I love them, but I'd rather stay where I am. Would I be the asshole if I made my parents go without me? ######

NTA Sounds like you're being reasonable about it. ######

Due to her work schedule, my daughter's mom can only see her 4 hours a day through the week and on weekends. The past week alone, there were 4 times she was too busy/didn't have time to pick her up, reasons given were that stayed up all night drinking with her brother last weekend and slept til 5 the next day, had to spend the next day doing the errands she was supposed to do instead of sleeping, laundy, and a date. I told her I didn't want to her it anymore, since she easily could have prioritized seeing our daughter, and she starts calling me an asshole and saying I don't understand what it's like to be a single mom, or how busy she is. (I'm also a single parent, for the record) Am I the asshole? ######

NTA Sounds like you have primary custody. If she wanted to see her daughter, she would. Instead, she drinks to excess and stays up late ensuring she won’t be able to see her. You don’t get to complain when you’re the only thing standing in your way. ######

I attend a university where community building & bonding is extremely important. Everyone is family in a sense and we just love to have fun and help each other out. We have a ton of orgs on campus, and each org has a GroupMe account, so does most classes as students use them to share answers, asks questions and just talk. These GroupMe’s are also used to wish each other good luck, happy holidays and to campaign for on campus elections. For example, when I pledged my sorority I had several people in my GM chats congratulate me even though we’re not necessarily friends. It’s also not normal for people to wish each other a happy holiday. (Happy founders day, happy thanksgiving, happy St. Patty’s day and so forth) Well, this past Easter we had an issue where a Muslim student was really upset that people in her GroupMe chats had been wishing each other a happy Easter. She said it was extremely disrespectful to her and her religion and that she would leave each and every chat she was in because of it. Then she went on Instagram to further say that anyone who wished a happy Easter in a chat that she was in was disrespectful and should’ve known better. I was confused because while I am Christian I come from a dominantly Islamic family and I had never heard from any of them even the elders that something like this was an issue. She claims that she doesn’t go in her chat wishing a happy Ramadan or other Muslim holidays so we shouldn’t be wishing each other a happy Easter as it was a slap in the face for her. I really just don’t see it that way though. I know that no one would blink an eye if she was to say happy Ramadan or some other Muslim holiday. I wasn’t upset, just more annoyed with the social media and GroupMe tirade she went on. AITA for not seeing an issue with wishing people a happy Easter on GroupMe? ######

NTA Sounds like someone who just wants to be outraged. ######

I'm a 29 year old mother of a 6 year old son. He had been just the normal kid growing up, curious and enthusiastic as ever. Lately I have noticed him roleplaying feminine characters while playing, favoring more feminine attitudes and toys/games. That was completely fine by me and his father and we never discouraged it. However three days ago I was online clothes shopping and thought it would be a fun idea to include my son and help me choose and pick colors/styles for mine and his clothes. He was very happy to do so and helped me choose my clothes. When we were looking through the kids section of the online store, he showed interest in both boy-ish and girl-ish styles so I thought it would be a good idea to encourage him to pick whatever he wants. He picked 3 t-shirts and one dress and I had them all ordered. I didn't explain to him that dresses are for girls and didn't act as if him picking a dress was weird, I just wanted t get him what he wants. Later that day I was talking to my husband and mentioned the incident to him, he got absolutely furious. He told me I'm encouraging a little boy to be insecure of his identity and "masculinity". I told him that was ridiculous and that our son doesn't even understand what masculinity is, he's just a kid and he has no clear "identity" yet. He got mad and has been acting weird to me since, as if I'm a danger to our son. Should I have explained to my son that dresses are for girls and that he's a boy? TL;Dr: bought a dress for my son like he wanted and my husband got mad at me for not explaining to him that it's for girls. AITA? ######

NTA Sounds like someone else is insecure about his own masculinity... ######

I (33/f) was recently dating a guy (29/m) and spending a lot of time at his house. He lives with his brother (33/m) and his brother's girlfriend, K, (28/f) was there quite often. She and I had quite a bit in common; the biggest thing being we are both in long term recovery from substance abuse ( I go to NA and she goes to AA). We found each other and Facebook and had quite a few mutual friends. Over the past few months we've gotten really close and I like this woman a lot. Well, my ex has been struggling with depression and insecurities and broke up with me on Saturday (which just so happened to be my birthday). I am not sure if we are getting back together or even if I'm interested in getting back together with him at this point. I'm still very much in my feelings about the break up. Regardless of my feelings towards my ex, I'd like to remain friends with K. We shared a lot of silly things such as a shared sense of humor, similar style, vaping, and media taste. The biggest thing however was our recovery. Because of the pandemic in person meetings have been cancelled and we now do meetings over Zoom. So she is the only person in recovery that I've seen since early March and the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is unparalleled. This is in our literature, but I've found it especially true in my life. I'd like to message her on Facebook and let her know that even though my ex and I are no longer together I'd like to remain friends. Possibly get coffee or hit meetings together when we are able to. I have no plans to say anything disparaging about my ex, because I do think he's a good person and care about him, but that doesn't mean things will work out between us. I do see where this could make things awkward for a lot of parties involved and wonder if I reach out wibta? ######

NTA Sounds like a healthy friendship so long as you maintain distance from her bf and your ex, at least for now! ######

This happened two years ago when my daughter was just 9 months old. I'm Australian but I live in the UK. I went back to Australia to visit my family and introduce my daughter to some elderly relatives who couldn't make the trip anymore. Obviously I knew that flying with a 9 month old would not be easy so I prepped as well as I could. I packed her favourite teddy, brought books and and some toys. On the plane I sat next to an older couple. They gave me the stink eye as soon as I sat down. During take off my baby cried. They sighed. A bit later she cried again. The woman next to me asked me to shush my baby. I told her I was doing my best. At some point I needed to pee so I asked a flight attendant if she could hold my baby (she told me I could do that when I was boarding). The guy sitting next to me told me I shouldn't be flying if I can't take care of my baby by myself. It went on and on with their complaints. Then the woman told me that the decent thing to do would have been to bring earplugs for the other passengers and that next time maybe I shouldn't fly with a baby since it's disrupting everyone's experience. At this point I was fed up. I told her that they should have brought their own earplugs since I am not the first woman to fly with a baby so it could have been anticipated. And that my baby was a child therefore couldn't control herself whereas they were grow adults who should know how to behave themselves. The guy behind us must have heard because he leaned forward and told me that it is generally considered rude or disrespectful to fly with a baby. I told him flying is a form of public transportation and if he wants to control his surroundings he should have chosen a private jet. I was quite upset at the time probably because I knew I was the hated one on the plane. I still think about it sometimes and I decided to settle it now. AITA for bringing a baby on a plane? Edit typo ######

NTA Sometimes people with babies need to fly. Sometimes babies cry. Such is life. As long as the parent is doing their best to keep their baby quiet I take no issue with them. If you had ignored your kid completely and popped on your own noise cancelling earphones *then* you'd be an AH. But you were trying to keep her quiet. And these people gave you the stink eye from the off, even when she was quiet. They were never going to be happy, and a couple of pairs of earplugs would not have changed it. > The guy behind us must have heard because he leaned forward and told me that it is generally considered rude or disrespectful to fly with a baby. I've been on flights that have actual cots for babies. So that is bullshit. The airlines actually support you doing it. ######

I went out to dinner with my husband and our neighbors. My husband is a native Spanish speaker and I am mostly fluent. During the dinner, I got a few texts from the babysitter saying that my son had diarrhea in his pants and was crying from an upset stomach. Another came a few minutes later saying he didn’t have a fever and the babysitter had it under control and we didn’t need to come home early. I saw the texts after the second one came in so I got the whole story at once. My husband asked what was wrong and I quickly told him in Spanish because I didn’t want to talk about poop at the table, but I also didn’t want to just say that our son had an upset stomach because he’s been having some digestive issues so it’s important for us to know what’s going on. I also wanted to make sure that he didn’t want to head out early under the circumstances even though the sitter said she had it handled. Well the husband of the other couple didn’t not take it well. He called us rude and demanded to know what we said. I tried to explain that my son was having a health problem and I didn’t want to toilet talk at the table, but he didn’t believe me and said that we were obviously talking about them. We both tried to reassure him that we weren’t, but he refused to speak to us for the rest of the meal. We ended up just making awkward small talk with his wife who looked like she was very embarrassed. However, when I retold this story to some friends, some said we shouldn’t have spoken Spanish in front of them because it was rude and it’s only natural to worry that we were talking negatively about them. Am I the asshole for speaking Spanish about my sons accident/illness at the dinner table? ######

NTA Someone is insecure (it’s the other husband) and is projecting his insecurities on you. Yes it’s generally rude to carry on full conversations in another language in front of non-speakers... but in this circumstance it was truly appropriate and not rude in the least. ######

There's this candle company that makes candles based on different locations and the majority of them are jokes. The one for Ohio is unscented and says something to the effect of the state being boring and uninteresting. I decided to share it with my family, especially my sister, S, because she lives there. When S saw it she immediately went into a long paragraph about how Ohio was a great state and how the meme was offensive to her and her girlfriend's family. I tried to laugh it off and say it was just a joke and that she shouldn't take it so personally, but then she quotes Until Dawn at me: "It was just a prank, Han." Like seriously? Over a candle? I told her to stop being so melodramatic and get over herself. She comes at me with how she found it offensive and I should apologize. I didn't even make the candle and people make fun of other states all the time. I don't think I should have to apologize for this, but idk. AITA? ######

NTA Someone has a 'total sense of humor failure' ######

I really like to draw and my mom supports me on that. Recently she got me a new sketch book when she went out, I've had the book for 1 month or so then a couple days ago she told me that she looked through the book, I was visibly upset ( I've told people before that i do not like it when they look through my sketch book without my approval) I told her in the nicest way possible that was my book and it's not hers to just flip through whenever she wants. Then she starts yelling at me telling me that she bought it and she could look through it whenever she wanted. I try to defend myself telling her that I would decide if I wanted anyone to see it but she kept cutting me off. I was pretty pissed and left. I feel like I might be the asshole because shes my mom and she encouraged me to draw when my family wouldn't accept it as a career choice. I know this is not as dramatic as other posts but please I want to know AITA? ######

NTA Some parents just don't understand transfer of property! If she bought something for you, that makes it yours! Even if she bought it! ######

So my parents love movies like fast and furious and movies with lots of action and guns. (Die hard ect..) They do occasionally pick a different movie but that’s incredibly rare and so it’s normally a die hard clone or a movie with some super buff guy shooting a gun. I’m not a huge fan of those types of movies and would rather watch something animated like a studio ghibli film (I’m going through the Netflix library atm) or something with a complex story or that is kinda strange. For the past week they have been telling me to broaden my horizons and watch a movie with them and I’ve been saying no as I absolutely despise all the gun/car heavy movies they pick. I hate the genre as a whole and so have just been watching things in my room. (This is a issue as my parents have a no food in room rule and so when I get hungry I have to stay out in the lounge) Recently we got in a fight about it as my parents are getting annoyed we are not hanging out as a family so I suggested I pick the movie, so I decided to put on a ghibli film. Dad automatically said no and asked me to change it and Mum agreed. I then got kinda annoyed and in the heat of the moment called them hypocrites for telling me I need to broaden my horizons while not letting me pick a movie. And I told them I was sick of gun heavy movies. My parents and me are now kinda on edge and I’m wondering if I actually fucked up and should apologise. (I’m 17) (female) ######

NTA So they told you to make a choice, and then told you that you couldn't make *that* choice? They're T A. ######

My ex and I broke up 6 months ago because he cheated. I asked him to reconsider but he said nothing could change his mind and he doesn't want to see me ever again. I respected that and didn't b try to contact him after. A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant. At first I was still hurt by his words and actions and I didn't want him to think that I'm using the baby as a way to get him back so I decided to wait for the first trimester to be over before telling him. But when I tried contacting him I realised I had been blocked everywhere. I didn't know his new address but from my mum I found out where he worked now. So last week I decided to drop in because I'll be moving away before the baby arrives and he should probably know he'll have a son soon. So I showed up and told him and he was less than thrilled. He said I should have told him earlier when something could have been done about it still and he wasn't happy I showed up at his work. ( I didn't go in, I waited at his car). He is very displeased with the whole situation. I'm not sure if I'm TA because he did tell me to never contact him again and when I tried it didn't work. And running after him just wasn't my first priority especially because I knew I'd keep the baby no matter what. ######

NTA So he cheated on you, blocked you, and is upset you didn't tell him you're pregnant with his child? I have a feeling he's the asshole, not you. Hopefully you find a partner who will love that child as their own. Stay strong. This is a terrible situation regardless of who the asshole is ######

I'm at the Outer Banks on vacation with my large extended family (mom's side, about 20 people) and I am using a prescription face medication that causes my face to be dry. If I go in the ocean, my face will get very painful and I will have a burning sensation for a few hours. However, for the past few days, my family has been insisting that I go in the ocean and that I'm not enjoying the vacation. My mom is threatening to take away my computer if I don't. So, I said that I saw a jellyfish, and they all cleared out. No one else was affected, they didn't tell anyone. AITA? ######

NTA Smart thinking actually ######

Backstory: I passed my driving test in April last year and ever since then have been parking my car in the allocated parking space outside the house. (The house does not have a driveway). Up until the last month or so, I have had no problems with parking my car here. Since the lockdown my neighbours parents have been visiting virtually everyday, this is not my problem. My problem is that they insist on parking in my space if I’m not home when they arrive. My neighbours have a car, meaning their parents cannot park in their space... there is, however, visitors parking opposite our houses. So the way I may have been TA is because I got home around 9pm after a long hard day and couldn’t park my car because, you guessed it, the neighbours parents were in my space. Not knowing what else to do, and being fed up because this is happening virtually every day now, I parked directly behind their car blocking their exit, but other neighbours could still get out. I feel the need to note that had they come and ask, I had every intention of moving my car, I just wanted to show them how annoying it is seeing as asking them politely clearly hasn’t worked. Anyways, fastforward a few hours and I was exhausted (the neighbours parents still hadn’t left but I wanted to go to bed) so I moved my car on to the visitors parking and as I was walking back to the house I heard a voice say “finally, I can go home now she’s moved the car”. So, AITA for wanting them to knock on my door and ask me to move my car to show them it’s annoying not being able to park/ pull away easily? Edit: can I please just point out that 1) they are designated spaces in each houses tenancy agreements and 2) the tenancy agreement also states that our visitors must park in the visitors parking spaces. ######

NTA Since it's your space per the lease, call and have them towed next time. ######

I am currently 21 and going to graduate college soon after the summer semester. I'm currently getting towards the end of the spring semester. My mom passed away 5 days ago at 46 yrs old, so I notified all my professors and they all gave me extensions and were very understanding and compassionate, including the professor in question. This is what the professor told me. I'll call her Prof. She said that as long as I can turn everything in by the last day of school, there will be no point deduction. Recently we had a take home test due (since school is now totally online). Part 1 was multiple choice, part 2 was free response (short answers, sketches of depositional environments etc). I have not completed it yet and it was due yesterday. One day ago. In the online class video chat today, everyone had questions about flaws in the exam, what they got wrong etc. They wanted her to release the answers. Usually if a student hasn't taken the exam, the teacher waits until they take it, then they can release the answers. Prof said: ok I can release the answers right now and go over them. The person that didn't take the test will get an alternate assignment. She then talked about the answers to part 1. She didn't discuss answers to part 2. However I got an email saying, in summary: Parts 1 and 2 will each get 50% point deduction for lateness and seeing the answera. This is almost 8 points off of my final grade. It is meant to be fair to others. I can understand part 1, but why deduct from part 2 when I didn't get any answers? I'm so mad right now I'm shaking. Will I be a jerk if I write that she was not helpful in this situation in her university evaluation? I will of course answer other questions fairly, like for example she does a good job answering questions. I won't lie and say she was bad at that just because I am mad. However, commenting about her compassion or whatever could hurt her career. ######

NTA Simply taking points away isn't an alternate assignment. Not only was she too lazy to make one for you, she lied about it in front of the class to look better. ######

My SIL and BIL had a....quick romance. They started dating after a month of knowing each other, got engaged after 4 months of dating and got married a month after being engaged. They'd planned on a year engagement but wanted to move in together. (Sex. They wanted to lose their virginity. Think Westboro Baptist 'Christian') So, they announced that they were going to get married in a week via text message. They informed my parents in law that they would use their back yard and insisted that we all pitch in to help. So, my hubby and his parents took off work to clean and renovat a rather neglected back yard. I was able to cut my hours to help as well. I sewed her dress and her maid of honor gown. If those had been commissioned gowns, they'd have been 1,500 or so USD each. I didn't charge her for my time or material. My husband bought a few thousand dollar worth of material to build a dance floor, upgrade the porch and other stuff. Their 6th anniversary is happening soon and we got a text from my SIL. She pointed out that money is tight right now(shouldn't be but see another post about that). She asked me to please send money for the anniversary and too send money that I forgot to send for their wedding gift. I pointed out that the gowns and WEDDING was her gift. She texted back that a dress to be worn once was hardly a good wedding present and I was a bitch ######

NTA SIL sounds very entitled. Who sends people money for their 6th wedding anniversary? ######

So my 2 step sisters who share a room, I guess they haven't gotten along and arguing a lot. My mom and step dad's solution is to break them up in the room and move me and my step brother into a room. I have had the same room since we all first moved in and I was like 7 or something. I have protested this hard, cause I am 17 and don't want to share a room with a 15yo who always smells bad. Like I'm not trying to be too mean but he smells terrible and refuses to shower. I asked my mom why one of them couldn't share a room with their brother cause they are all related while I'm not, and she told me to just suck it up. Since I had the smallest room I have to move out of my childhood room to my step brother's room. It sucks but its gonna happen next week, I am pretty mad cause I did nothing wrong and I AM the one getting punished while the 2 who are at wrong are getting a reward. My mom and step dad are telling me to grow up and suck it up but I don't think I'm doing anything wrong. AITA? ######

NTA Shit parenting, shit situation. Fight with your brother a lot. Byt their logic, that should get you your own room. ######

So, I have pretty horrendous eyesight. Well, I used to, because I got LASIK pretty recently. Because of this, I have a habit of leaning closer to the TV or laptop screen or whatever while I’m watching TV. When I say leaning I’m just sitting straight upwards and not leaning back into the couch or bed or whatever. Even after my surgery I haven’t lost the habit and I just lean in when I get really into the show. Idk why but it’s always bothered her. First she said that my posture was bad but when I pointed out to her that my posture is great (by virtue of me sitting with my back straight upwards) and the fact that hers is far worse than mine (her back is curved because of this), she backed off of that excuse. But then she never let go of the issue. For the life of me I don’t know why she has such a problem with it. I should also note that I’ve asked her if I’m blocking her from the screen and she says that I don’t. But she just. Won’t. Stop. It’s gotten worse and more frequent because we’re at home more now and we spend a lot of our time watching Netflix together. I’ve asked her to please stop, I’m doing nothing wrong, etc etc. So today she was doing it again. I asked her to stop and she does for a while. Then I get up to pee and when I come back she grips my shoulder and pulls me backwards and at this point I can’t help myself and yell at her to leave me alone and eff off and I don’t know why it bothers you so much that I’m sitting straight up or leaning forward, it’s not hurting either me or you. She actually burst into tears and said she’s going for a walk and some fresh air. She hasn’t been back for a while and now I’m getting a bit worried. AITA? ######

NTA She’s physically controlling how you sit. Not OK. ######

So a few years ago I moved out and my mom would occasionally bring me food, napkins, toilet paper, etc. when she visited. She would also sometimes give me money, nothing big, just enough for 2-3 days of food. This was all done without me ever saying that I'm short on money or needed it or wanted to borrow it. Now I have moved in with my partner and am financially way better than I was. She still often visits and still brings us food from their local butchery and similar. The only difference is that now my salary is the same as hers and my partner's salary is higher than my mom's and mine. So now she thinks that since I'm better off financially, I owe her the money she gave me. I disagreed with that, because I even told her numerous times that I did not want to take the money and she always insisted on giving it to me. Over the years those small amounts probably do sum up to half my monthly salary and it's not that much of a problem for me to return it. But I don't feel like I should be obliged to, because she gave it to me on her own will and not because I asked her to. And the way she handled it, acting like I'm trying to, quote: "get out of a debt by never bringing it up". I also always make sure to bring a small gift when we visit her place. It's usually, again, groceries or something small that I know she needs/will appreciate. I have more than returned what I "owe" her by now. I'm from Europe so it's also kind of a custom to bring something when you visit, not sure if this is a thing elsewhere. So us bringing each other "gifts" is also pretty normal and expected. AITA for not wanting to give her the money back? ######

NTA She's your mother and she was helping take care of you, even though you asked her not to. You don't owe her that money back, as that was not the agreement at the time. ######

A few years ago when my daughter was 13 she begged and begged me for a dog till I was so fed up that I gave in. It was a huge mistake but at the time I didn't think it would be since my daughter promised that since it was her dog that she would take care of it and I would just buy it what it needed. I finally got her a puppy from a neighbour who's dog had just given birth and my daughter was really excited and we both loved the dog. My daughter was great at first with the dog, took him 3 walks a day if she could and feed him, she did everything right. After a while though she's been doing hardly anything. I understand she has school and a life of her own but I have work and I'm not at home a lot. I can't tell you how many times I've come home to my daughter just watching TV while the dog hasn't been fed or walked all day, and I come home at 9pm. I have enough time in the morning to feed the dog before I leave and maybe a quick walk. But I'm so sick of hearing myself telling her to do the rest. People have also told me they have spotted her not picking up after the dog when she finally does walk him. I loved the dog so so much, please don't think I didn't. He was part of the family but there was really nothing I could do. Countless times I have told my daughter that if she doesn't look after him then he'll need a new home, she'll care for him a few days after that but then falls back into doing nothing again. I feel sorry for the dog and I just want him to be happy so I gave him to a friend who I know would take amazing care of the dog, plus she has 2 other dogs to keep him company. She says we can visit him anytime we like so it's not like my daughter will never see him. My daughter isn't speaking to me and I am thinking maybe I've screwed up. It's hard as well because my daughter thinks I didn't care about the dog if I could just give it away like that but it was seriously a really hard decision and one I wish could've been avoided. ######

NTA She's saying you didn't care about the dog? She's the one who would not walk or feed the dog. You warned her many times. She can still see to the dog. NTA. She didn't take responsibility and is taking it out on you. ######

My wife and I have custody of my son, she’s legally adopted him now. His mother was opposed to abortion but also is staunchly against having children, so she was going to give him up for adoption. I wanted my son, so I took full custody. He had her last name, and she failed to inform me of his birth so he got a first and middle name of her choosing. The name she picked was pretty out there, think something like that post about the girl named “qurstyle” or whatever it was but for a boy. I’ve always wanted my son to have my grandad’s name, and since I had full custody I went through the courts to change it. She no-showed despite being notified and that was that. Additionally, she hadn’t paid child support at all, which was taken into consideration. His middle name is now the first name she picked since it seemed wrong to completely rob him of any connection to her. That was 3 years ago. We recently went through the process of having my wife legally adopt him which his mother cooperated for. But now that it’s done she’s giving me shit about changing his name, saying it was important to her, yada yada yada despite her not having even visited him ever. I don’t want to block her as when my son is older I’m planning to tell him about his mother and give him the option of seeing her if he wants, and I have to be able to contact her for that. My wife obviously fully supports me, but his mother is giving me so much shit about it. AITA? ######

NTA She's not there. The child can change the name back or choose to go by it later if it means anything for him. ######