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So I used to babysit for a old high school friend and loved working for them they had two kids a little girl who just turned two and a boy who was 8. They were very well behaved kids and I really enjoyed watching them. The mom had asked me to come to the girls 2nd birthday party and I said yes without hesitation and really looked forward to the food the dad said was gonna be there. Well the day comes and I'm told to be there at 1 and I showed up and no one was there yet and nothing had been set up and when I asked if I got the time wrong the mom said "no your right in time to start setting things up" and started pointing to all the boxes of decorations. At first I thought that maybe she had asked for help and I didn't hear it so I put my gift I got her down and grabbed a box and started setting up. The dad eventually starts the grill and I'm thinking that ok they gonna start helping but no they come and tell me that they going to get ready and to keep an eye on the baby.
I didn't know what was going on but I was starting to figure it out slowly and when guests start showing up they finally come out of their room and get drinks and snacks ready and when one of their guest asked where do they set the gifts down the mom who was holding the two year old walks over to me hands me the child and said I've had plenty of time to set up and can watch the baby while she fixes everything I messed up (apparently the gifts were supposed to go on a table that I didn't have time to set up).
I set the child down and grabbed my bag and walked out. Within 10 minutes my phone was blowing up asking where I went and calling me a asshole for leaving and it's my fault the baby got into some of the gifts cause I left and so on. I seriously thought they invited me cause I was apart of their lives and they wanted me to be a guest. I don't think I was a asshole for leaving but I've got about 20 text saying otherwise. AITA? ###### | NTA.
The deceived you into coming and then tried to get free child care out of it.
You owe them nothing and were 100% in your rights to leave. ###### |
For context, my two friends (20F) and myself (19F) are all queer. This happened a while ago, but it still bothers me.
I’ve only been in two serious relationships and both of them have been with cis men. Still, I identify as a pansexual as their gender doesn’t matter to me.
In my first relationship, I didn’t really notice that my friends were acting any different from when I was single. After a while, things become more obvious. They’d stop talking about girls when I joined the conversation and switch topics. They didn’t want to tell me about their crushes, but I didn’t really mind, it’s up to them whether they want to tell me or not. But then it got more serious, I couldn’t talk about any issues concerning LGBTQ+, because apparently I couldn’t relate to them.
Now on to the main story. Pride is celebrated in my country and it’s a big deal for the community. We’ve wanted to go for years, but there was always a reason we couldn’t go. Except for this year, all three of us were free and I was really excited about it. I had noticed though, that they hadn’t brought it up for a while, so I asked them about it. They didn’t think I intended on going, because ‘I’d been living the straight life’. I told them that I still identified as pan and wanted to be treated that way. They answered that to be treated as pan I should be acting as pan.
That made me so angry. I thought our community was inclusive and I at least expected that from my own friends. I told them they were being biphobic/panphobic and that I didn’t even wanna go with them anymore. Basically they didn’t think you could be biphobic/panphobic when you’re queer. I said that they should be ashamed of themselves and I walked away. We’re still friends, but they still believe that I was an asshole for saying that, but I don’t know, am I? ###### | NTA.
The behaviour they are displaying is 100% biphobic/panphobic. They are treating the LGBTQI+ community as an exclusive club that you have to be a certain way to get into and mimicking the very attitude that LGBTQI+ stands against. It is YOUR choice to identify as the sexuality that you do, and not theirs to tell you what you can and can't do. Even if you were an ally, and not queer, they still wouldn't have an excuse to not want to go to pride with you on those terms. That's not what friends do and is extremely childish on their part. ###### |
Me and my sister share a car right now, and when I was driving home about 3 or 4 days ago I got into a minor accident that wasn't my fault. The car got completely totaled cause the axel got bent, I was fine and the other driver was fine but ow the only car that works (that we can drive) is my mom's which she takes to work, while we take the bus to our work.
My sister has been blaming me over and over for this accident, and I have had enough. I told her to knock it off but it just didn't work. She is technically my half sister (share the same dad) and my dad cheated on her mom with my mom and had me. Her biggest insult she always calls me is "divorce baby" and I hate it with a passion. Our relationship other than that is alright but if we are ever fighting or I piss her off she will start saying that over and over. I forgot what exactly happen but I know she called me the divorce baby who couldn't drive and I locked myself in my room for the rest of the night.
Her birthday was yesterday and I was still mad at her from the previous night, and where I usually get a gift I got her a card and just wrote down "happy birthday" and called it a day. My mom says she is disappointed, and I told her that I'm not gonna take her calling me the divorce baby. She said I get you are mad but I shouldn't stoop to her level of pettiness.
AITA? ###### | NTA.
That’s a horrible thing to call someone good God. Of course you weren’t going to get her a gift, what did people expect? ###### |
Alright. So, kids are definitely a far off thing. I’m still under 18 and I don’t personally feel prepared to raise a kid, nor do I think I will be for the next good few years. But today some of my friends were talking about what they want their kids name to be (again just hypothetical future kids, none of my friends are actively pregnant). I chimed in, saying that I’ve always liked the name Laura. One of my fairly close friends asked if I’m really fit to be a mom or if it’d be unfair to the kid. Here’s the thing- I have spina bifida and use a wheelchair. It does impact my life obviously, but I can still do most normal people things.
I removed myself from the conversation to think for a while. I’ve never really thought fully about whether I want kids, but I certainly never thought that it’d be unfair to the kid just because I can’t walk. I PMd my friend asking if she really thought that it’d be unfair after the group chat convo moved on, and she doubled down and said yeah because kids deserve normal parents, and it’s unfair that I would take that away from them. Honestly idk what to think now. I’m a bit upset, but I don’t want to make a scene or anything. And I’ve been thinking about it more and more, and maybe she’s right. ###### | NTA.
That was rude and uncalled for. Why are they your friend? ###### |
I went over to this guys house to hook up. I am 19 years old, female, and live with my parents while I attend college. They are strict Christians. I do not have enough to move out as rent is a minimum of 1k a month where I live and minimum wage is 8 an hour. Anyway I got back and my mother took my car and has grounded me. Which was whatever. My mother said no hookups in her house or some bullshit so it’s whatever. Well, I made the fucking mistake of going to the grocery store with her. And, I forgot I still had a super super faint hickey mark. She screamed at me in the middle of the store and got home and told my fucking dad. I am BEYOND EMBARRASSED right now and extremely angry. I understand their house their rules but my sex life is not their business!! AITA? ###### | NTA.
That really sucks. You're 19 and, whilst you're still young, you definitely shouldn't be treated like a child anymore. *Grounding you*? Really?
Hopefully you get to move out soon and have your space. ###### |
I’m 20, when I was 18 my father told me that I have an older half-brother(23) we officially met when I was 19, from day one I knew there was something off about him, he really gave off bad vides so I did my best to keep a distance.
But my Dad started inviting him to our family holidays, my brother kept on being really odd around me, making weird comments about my appearance and obsessively complementing me, he had a hard time keeping eye contact and always fiddled with a pocket knife he kept in his pocket.
I honestly disliked being around him because of how odd he is. He send me a message of him Confessing his “love”for me, I told him he’s disgusting told all our family and family friends about his gross confession.
My dad was angry at me, probably because he feels guilty for not being involved in his life. He told me I’m an awful person for exposing my brother like that and that he’s going through some mental heath issues and that I should’ve kept quiet, I don’t see him as my brother just some stranger who happens to share the same dad.
Am I really the asshole for showing everyone my brothers true colours ###### | NTA.
Telling the rest of the family was a very smart move because Dad's guilt over not being there for him is overshadowing his protective instincts for you, his daughter.
Now everyone else knows something isnt right and can monitor the brother's interactions with you.
Absolutely stay far away from the pocket knife weilding person expressing inappropriate love for you. ###### |
My friend does not use social media and does not have a Facebook account. She’s not off the grid or worried about online privacy, she just doesn’t use it. Her dog has its own Instagram account though, FWIW.
She wanted to do a livestream yoga class that the instructor is putting on weekly and therefore needed to be able to sign into Facebook. She asked for my login credentials, saying that I could change my password afterwards. She is doing the class weekly.
I declined to give her my info and she is still salty about it. AITA? ###### | NTA.
Tell her to create a facebook account for her dog. She can use that. ###### |
My father was born in ‘77 and my husband was born in ‘79. I just so happened to be born in ‘94. Now the age difference between my husband and I does not bother me in the slightest bit. Nor does it bother my grandparents or my siblings only my dad.
My father didn’t raise me. I lived with my grandparents my entire life and I feel like my dad is more like my brother instead of a father and that my grandfather is more like a father to me. My grandfather is 72.
Every time we have a family get together my father treats my husband like garbage and my husband is actually very good to me. He loves me unconditionally. I have full trust in him and we are expecting a little boy in November. He’s a sweet man who cried upon hearing the news and has pampered me since the day we found out.
But my dad says it’s “weird” that they are so close to the same age and I got so tired of him belittling my husband and making him the joke of the evening and I told him “you didn’t raise me, Mamaw and papaw did while you ran around getting drunk all week and hanging out with women, you didn’t even call me on my birthday last week and I doubt you even know what day it was on or even how old I am. I didn’t buy you anything for Father’s Day and bought papaw something instead because you weren’t a father. You were just an over glorified brother and I don’t care if you are uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable for me to have a 9 year old brother and my 5 year old daughter has a 9 year old uncle but I don’t go making running jokes about it every time I see you. No one cares that you’re uncomfortable”
Well he got pissed to say the least and stormed off. My stepmom is berating me over it and saying I need to be kinder to my father but enough is enough. AITA? ###### | NTA.
Stand your ground. It sounds like your father is more worried about how he thinks things look than how things are. He isnt concerned for your wellbeing (a reasonable parental feeling) so much as throwing a tantrum that you made an adult decision he doesnt like. ###### |
I met my boyfriend at the beginning of freshman year of college(I’m a junior now) and I moved into his apartment in January. I’m 5’9” and he’s 5’5”. So yes, I’m tall and he’s short and I can see how that could be a little funny at first.
But my friends have been making jokes about it for 2 years straight. Just incessantly, every conversation has to be a joke about it. I’ve told them to relax with the jokes multiple times and they never stopped.
And my boyfriends friends are so much more... I don’t know how to say it, just chill. I’ve been spending most of my time with them playing video games online rather than on the 2 hour phone calls my friends have been having.
They’ve been texting me asking what I’m doing and to call them. WIBTA if I don’t? ###### | NTA.
Sounds like you've outgrown your immature friends. I hope you can find some more accepting ones, in addition to your boyfriend's friends! ###### |
My friend (M 20) frequently complains about his lack of men to date. He isn't unattractive but he is no male model. He however has very narrow tastes when it comes to men. He wants a tall, ripped male model who isn't feminine in any way. Which I've always found pretty shallow.
Yesterday, while he was complaining about how he must be so ugly because none of these 10 /10 men would date him and that he will never find a decent guy to date, i told him that he needed to have more realistic expectations. Most people aren't perfect models and the epitome of masculinity so he needs to be open to dating less attractive people and not be so shallow because he is also not a 10/10
He accused me of attacking his self-esteem and not being a good friend for telling him he's unattractive and ridiculing him for having standards. I feel justified in what i said because i he needs a wakeup call but maybe i shouldn't have told him he's not that attractive (he has had issues with self-esteem in the past so i feel guilty for bringing up his looks) ###### | NTA.
Sometimes you need to give your friends a reality check. He kept constantly complaining about how he couldn't find a single person because he's only looking for people he deems as a 10/10 when he could already have someone if he lowered bis expectations a bit. ###### |
first thing first, english is not my first language so sorry for any grammar mistakes. this happened back in January, and she still wont talk to me unless i apologize.
a little background, i am 37M. got married to the love of my life, my wife when we were both 28. unfortunately she passed away 2 years ago from cancer and ive been single since. with therapy, I've made my peace with her passing. im still sad, but im okay with that.
so back in January my mother hosted a small gathering and she invited her friend, anna. she's said some hurtful words in the past, but since i dont see her very often i usually let it slide. so i was talking to my sister when she sat next to me and began asking me if i ever want to remarry, find someone new. i said no, i dont want to talk about it. but she kept insisting that i need to have a new wife so i dont get lonely. i replied, i have my cats and my therapist. i can talk to either of them. then she asked again, but what if you get sexually frustrated? who will help you? your hand? at this point i start getting annoyed, i keep raising my voice, telling her if she doesnt shut up i will leave. she then had the nerve to tell me she could always find me a wife, that she doesn't mind if i take her daughter. true to my word, i left.
few days later i got a panicked call from annas daughter asking if im really marrying her so i was like wtf? no. she told me her mom said that. i reassured her that id deal this issue with her mom.
fyi her daughter is 22 and i liked her talking to her, but at most i feel like an older brother to her. besides she has a boyfriend already.
so i called anna and told her if she does this again i will sue her for repeated harassment (here, suing someone IS a big deal) then she called my mom saying im an asshole but luckily my mom is on my side. my mom said something like if (op) doesnt want to, its his decision. she yelled at us both and apparently blocked us on Facebook, and made some posts about it. ###### | NTA.
She’s rude and insensitive and the whole offering up her daughter like she owns her is just disgusting.
Do not apologise. She’s the one who owes you an apology as well as her daughter.
If she’s stopped talking to you I’d count that as a win. Can you imagine if she actually was your MIL?! Blegh.
Facebook drama every time you didn’t do as she said. PFO. ###### |
So I (F19) had an argument with my step mom and dad the other night. It wasn’t related to my clothing but because of the argument, my step mom started listing off things the doesn’t like that I’ve been doing.
One of those things, the thing I believe is unreasonably at best and highly misogynistic at worst, is that I need to be dressing more modestly around the house. She “hates to see my ass and tits hanging out all the time”. She also said “I don’t know why you dress like that around your father.” Which I find to be disgusting. So let’s break it down..
•She is 15 weeks pregnant
•She does not leave her room EVER (which I understand because I’m a mom too)
•I have been living here three weeks and neither of my parents have complained until now about ANYTHING.
•I have followed all of the rules they bothered to tell me upon moving in.
•I paid rent on time plus groceries which was nearly half of my monthly paycheck.
She and I have butt heads before because I am an atheist and she is Mormon. They want me to come to church, I refuse. They want to teach my toddler daughter about God, I refuse. So the relationship there is already unsteady.
I told her that she obviously has a lot of internalized misogyny to try and slut shame me over my clothes. She thinks I need to apologize for saying that and now my dad is accusing me of ruining their marriage.
But the way I see it, she refuses to accept me for who I am, she doesn’t respect my beliefs the way I’ve respected hers, and now she’s telling me that I have no self-respect because of the way I dress. I feel as though she owes me an apology. I just made her a birthday cake from scratch and and homemade frosting because the canned stuff makes her sick. I thought we’d bond more now that she’s pregnant and we had something in common. But I suppose not.
I’m truly hurt by what she said and I’m hurt that my dad is blaming me for her being angry with him. ###### | NTA.
She's in a cult, and was probably raised by one. The last thing you want to do is expose your children to that, except to warn them away from anything related to it.
Your dad knows she's in the wrong, but he's weak and a coward, and he knows that the easiest solution is for you - the reasonable one - to acquiesce for the sake of keeping the peace. ###### |
So I’m a new mother, my son is 3 weeks old. Forgive me for any mistakes, I didn’t sleep much last night.
My sister lives with us, we own our house, she doesn’t pay rent, she lives with us because she can’t afford to live on her own. I had hoped she’d move out before I gave birth but she didn’t.
I normally feed our son in our bedroom or his room, but yesterday my husband and I were watching tv, and I was holding him and he got hungry, and I was tired and didn’t want to go upstairs just to feed him and be stuck alone. My sister was out buying groceries(that we are paying for) so I didn’t think it would be a problem.
She came home in the middle of me feeding him and freaked out saying it was gross to do that in the living room and to go somewhere private, and she didn’t want to see my tits(her words).
I didn’t have the energy to explain why I didn’t go upstairs so I just went into the bathroom with him. But now she’s making comments whenever I’m holding him like “don’t take your tits out here”. I’m just tired, I don’t think it was really that big a deal, and werrr fucking paying for the house. Also, would I be an asshole if I told her to go fuck herself because I really want to. ###### | NTA.
She's got a lot of nerve for complaining about breastfeeding for someone figuratively suckling at your teat. ###### |
I have never wanted kids. I have made this clear to every person I have dated. When I married my now ex, she knew this. She was okay with it, or so I thought. 3 years in, she mentioned adoption and I shut it down, reminding her I never wanted kids and that children deserve a parent who wants them. She stayed with me for another 3 years and eventually filed for divorce 2 years ago. I wasn’t surprised because outside the kid thing, we had other issues.
We got married in our 40s, so by the time we divorced we were in our 50s. I moved out and didn’t see her for awhile after the final meeting. Then one night recently I decided to take advantage of my favorite restaurant having outdoor dining again. As I was eating, my ex approached me. We made small talk and eventually she said she was angry with me. This took me off guard. She told me that I “stole the best years of her life” and “because of you, I’ll never have kids”.
I laughed in her face. I said she knew going in I didn’t want kids and why should I bend on that? I said if she feels guilty for not having a baby, it’s on her not me. She got even more upset and left.
My brother thinks I could’ve handled it better and not laughed at her. I think she was being ridiculous but am willing to admit I might’ve been an asshole. So, was I? ###### | NTA.
She was being ridiculous, would've been hard not to laugh. ###### |
first thing first, english is not my first language so sorry for any grammar mistakes. this happened back in January, and she still wont talk to me unless i apologize.
a little background, i am 37M. got married to the love of my life, my wife when we were both 28. unfortunately she passed away 2 years ago from cancer and ive been single since. with therapy, I've made my peace with her passing. im still sad, but im okay with that.
so back in January my mother hosted a small gathering and she invited her friend, anna. she's said some hurtful words in the past, but since i dont see her very often i usually let it slide. so i was talking to my sister when she sat next to me and began asking me if i ever want to remarry, find someone new. i said no, i dont want to talk about it. but she kept insisting that i need to have a new wife so i dont get lonely. i replied, i have my cats and my therapist. i can talk to either of them. then she asked again, but what if you get sexually frustrated? who will help you? your hand? at this point i start getting annoyed, i keep raising my voice, telling her if she doesnt shut up i will leave. she then had the nerve to tell me she could always find me a wife, that she doesn't mind if i take her daughter. true to my word, i left.
few days later i got a panicked call from annas daughter asking if im really marrying her so i was like wtf? no. she told me her mom said that. i reassured her that id deal this issue with her mom.
fyi her daughter is 22 and i liked her talking to her, but at most i feel like an older brother to her. besides she has a boyfriend already.
so i called anna and told her if she does this again i will sue her for repeated harassment (here, suing someone IS a big deal) then she called my mom saying im an asshole but luckily my mom is on my side. my mom said something like if (op) doesnt want to, its his decision. she yelled at us both and apparently blocked us on Facebook, and made some posts about it. ###### | NTA.
She sounds entitled, mean and petty.
Good for you for leaving.
Sorry for your loss, losing someone is always tough, and I suppose this isn't helping.
Stay strong ###### |
My husband and I adopted our oldest son in 2016, and biologically he is my husband's nephew (his mom is my husband's sister). Anyway, she had been making poor life choices for quite some time, but it ultimately came to a head in 2014, when her drug usage caused her to lose all of her kids. She went to prison for a while, and when she got out and reached out to us, we asked our son if he wanted to talk to her (he's gonna be 18 at the end of this year, he was definitely old enough to understand and make the choice.) He said yes, and they had phone and letter contact until about a year ago, when we finally let them meet in person (supervised). She was staying clean and generally doing good for herself for a while, to the point where my son was actually kinda proud of her. Then she got with a guy that is just terrible, and entered a downward spiral from there.
She stopped trying to get ahold of my son frequently, if at all. He never talked to me about how it made him feel, and I never pushed it as he doesn't react positively to that sort of thing. Then Mother's Day rolled around. I hadn't expected him to say anything to me, seeing as how I'm not his bio mom and he knows it. He went out of his way to find me before I left for work (he was staying at his girlfriend's house the night before), told me happy mothers day and gave me a huge hug.
I thought it was awesome. I had a great day and after I got home from work I had a text from his bio mom. "Happy mothers day tell [name] that I love him have him call me sometime"
She nows how to get ahold of him. She just chose not to contact him directly, and when I asked him if he told her happy mother's day, he just said "no".
My husband is a little mad that I didnt prod him to tell her, and my parents told me "well thats still his mom", but I dont see the need to make him solely responsible for maintaining a relationship he doesnt want in the first place.
AITA? ###### | NTA.
She kinda disappears from your son's life and still expects a congratulation on mother's day?
> but I dont see the need to make him solely responsible for maintaining a relationship he doesnt want in the first place.
Also this. If he's not interested, that's it. ###### |
Hello friends. I am a T1 diabetic, so I need to keep my insulin in the fridge. Lately I’ve been staying with my girlfriend who lives with her parents, who are very kind to temporarily take me in. I got there yesterday and I was unpacking and asked her if I could put my boxes of insulin in her fridge. She looked a bit uncomfortable and said first that there’s no space. I said this is objectively not true because their fridge is massive (she has four siblings but none of them are at home now) and there’s literally hectares of space, and besides I don’t need that much. She moved on to the next excuse which is that it’s weird to have my medication out in the open like that for other people to see. This one has really hurt my feelings. I mean it’s not like I asked for this illness. I literally need it to live. I tried to explain this to her and she said it’s their property and I should respect what they want to do with it. She also asked me not to do my injections in front of anyone else which makes me feel asif she’s somehow ashamed of me and my condition ###### | NTA.
She is iiterally telling you that you can't have your insulin because it makes people uncomfortable. I see that as a complete dealbreaker. ###### |
I’m a senior in HS. In December one of my classmates got into a bad car accident that did a lot of damage. She had several surgeries, and is in need of more for her face. Her insurance won’t cover it, hence the GoFundMe.
I was never friendly with this girl. She spread nasty rumors about a friend of mine, and I always had a tainted view of her. Outside of that incident I never talked to her, and didn’t know she knew that I existed.
So my classmates are sending around a GoFundMe and a link to T-shirts for sale and I see that my artwork has been used!
My artwork has nothing to do with her cause, it was a Picasso style self portrait that was an assignment for class. I posted it to twitter. They were using it on T-shirts and in promotions without my permission.
I got into contact with the girl and her friend who is running everything and asked them to take my artwork off of their GoFundMe. At first they said that they didn’t know it was mine, and would credit me (they cropped my siggy our though...) I told them that I didn’t want it credited and preferred it to be taken down.
The told me they already had T-shirts, people recognized it for her GoFundMe. I honestly didn’t care. Then they started guilt tripping me about it, and I told them I would go through other means to get it taken down.
Then the girl posts screenshots of our DMs on her twitter, directing people at me, and telling them how heartless I am. I am getting tons of hate messages, and people telling me to just “let her use my shorty artwork.” I can’t even open up any social media without fear of getting shitty messages from my classmates.
I talked to my mom about it and she thinks I should have just kept quiet about it as it’s hard not to look like an asshole for refusing to let her use the image. I’m feeling pretty confused, because I think I have the right to say where my artwork goes. AITA for not letting her use my art? ###### | NTA.
Send DMCA takedown notice to GoFundMe to remove the artwork, since they refused to do it (more info at [https://www.gofundme.com/terms](https://www.gofundme.com/terms) section Copyright Complaints). ###### |
So recently, I moved out of the state to start a new job. My gf who I had been with for about a year, decided to follow me a few months later. She had assumed that I would get rid of the dog when she moved in, but I had no plans to. She gets weirdly jealous of the dog, and is insistent that she is in her cage whenever I am not directly petty or playing with it. She also thinks it is okay to yell at the dog for no reason when it is being well behaved. At this point I’m ready to call the relationship quits because I can’t stand the way she treats my dog. AITA? ###### | NTA.
RED FLAGS. Red flags EVERYWHERE.
You made a commitment to that dog, to take care of her for her entire life. You shouldn't get rid of her, and your GF shouldn't expect you to. Also, the way your GF behaves towards your dog is a huge red flag. Allergic or not, how a person treats a dog is a big clue to how they will treat children in the future. ###### |
My(18F) mother always likes using the phrase ‘I know each of my children individually’. She always says this when I ask why the rest of my siblings(13M and 26M) don’t do chores. Like she would go out for groceries or whatever then comes back in the evening and asks ME why there are still shoes in the entry way(not even mine), why there are dirty dishes in the sink(even though I did breakfast dishes expecting someone to do lunch dishes) and why the house is a mess. I used to just do whatever she says to avoid being confrontational but yesterday was when I reached my last straw. She came back from taking her car for a drive to ‘revive her engine’, it was literally like 20 minutes max, then she finds me in my room and starts telling me how irresponsible I am for expecting her to come back and do the dishes and clean up the living room while I just sat in my room doing nothing(my brothers where in the living room playing ps4).I retorted by saying that I’m not the only one in this house and she threw in her famous ‘I know each of my children individually’ quote and this is where I might have been the AH cause I said that she only uses that phrase when she wants to manipulate me into doing chores that everyone should have an equal share in and that she always has such high standards when it comes to my life whereas she pampers my other siblings. She told me to lose my attitude and we haven’t spoken since then. My dad now wants me to apologize so that we reduce the tension inside the house and telling me that I should never speak to a parent like that. So AITA? ###### | NTA.
Probably classic 'girls should do the chores, not boys' situation. Clean only after yourself and be super duper lazy. ###### |
So my girlfriend's sister has opened an online store selling creams, misc hair products/ jewelry, and prints. I was pretty suspicious of what she is selling as she has a habit of putting the cart before the horse when trying to start up these little businesses of hers (she has a history of creating and abandoning small business ideas). She let me know she orders the cream from a supplier and resells it but claimed to make everything else herself. I've never known her to draw or anything artistic so I looked into the prints and.. She is simply taking them from another artist online and rebranding it with her name before selling it. I tried to talk to my girlfriend about this who asked her sister but.. She just denied it and insisted its her original work. The artist online I found has been doing this for a while however and her sister only just started selling her goods... Am I the asshole if I alert the artist? ###### | NTA.
Please let the artist know that your girlfriend's sister is stealing other people's work. ###### |
So i was spending time with my mom today and my best friend decided to call me. i had headphones on luckily so i picked up and she seemed somewhat off during the conversation. while talking to her she kept moaning and sighing more and more often and said her boyfriend was fingering her while i was on the call. she then abruptly hung up and i felt so uncomfortable and violated that i didn't really know what to do. i texted her saying it made me uncomfortable and she said "my boyfriend made me do it" and she was sorry. so i texted her boyfriend and let him know that the call made me feel weird and uncomfortable and that i didnt find it funny at all. he replied and said "well i found it hilarious" with an unnecessary picture of my friend in nothing but her underwear. i was disgusted with him and carried on with my day but was still appalled by their choice to call me. she called me a few hours later profusely apologizing and taking accountability for what they did, which i appreciated but i discovered that her boyfriend took her phone and called me specifically and put me on speakerphone while he was fingering her and the phone was out of her control. she defended his action and told me he was sorry but i told her that if he was sorry then i could hear it from his own voice. i am still upset with them both for her defending her boyfriend's action by saying "i think he's sorry and he was just trying to be kinky" and him for calling me in the first place and not taking accountability for his own actions. AITA for still being upset? ###### | NTA.
People who rope other people into their kinks without consent are gross. Your friend is gross. Her boyfriend is gross. I don't know if that counts as a rule 1 violation but...ew at both of them. ###### |
Long story short, but my ex fiancé broke up with me around six months ago. She was supposed to be looking for her own place by now but has been dragging her feet. When we separated, while sharing the house we both rent, we agreed on a roommate situation where we both pay our equal amounts of rent and cost of living expenses up until she moved. When July rolls around, this will be the third month in a row that she fails to pay rent. I have already started getting the utilities in my name, and not only am I paying all of that myself but I’m also paying all the rent too, which led me to tell her that come July 1, she needs to be on her way out and into her own place. She basically called me an asshole because I’m asking her to move out.
Am I really the asshole in this? ###### | NTA.
Pay up or get out. She's not your responsibility and you've already been far more kind than warranted. She can be mad at you all she wants, tfb. She calls you an asshole, but somehow doesn't realize she's a leech. She's using you and she has absolutely no right to. ###### |
Me and my father always had a horrible relationship. I'm the youngest of 4 siblings and have 3 older brothers. I was born with a learning disability so it made me a little slow and be less intelligent. My dad hated that I had a learning disability and he would always call me names such as stupid, moron, idiot, etc. He never hit me but multiple times he told me if i was a boy he would hit me. When i was 16 i came down with a serious illness that lasted for a month and my dad yelled at me the whole time for being sick and for throwing up when i had no control over being sick. He would always tell me i'd grow up to be a loser. He also yelled at me when i developed Bipolar disorder and said i chose to be that way. Once I was an adult I met my first husband at age 25 and my dad's reaction to finally having a boyfriend was "Surprised anyone would wanna date you" and he basically told my boyfriend that he can do way better than me. When me and my boyfriend married 2 years later he didn't congratulate me at all. 3 years later i got pregnant but miscarried what was going to be a baby boy and he apparantly said behind my back "Thank god there won't be another slow person in the family." Me and my husband divorced shortly after the miscarriage cause he had an affair and my dad said the other woman was better than me. I haven't been in a relationship since then.
​
So anyways 4 months ago my dad got diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and was told he only has 12 months left to live if he's lucky. My dad has at most 6 months left to live and i'm honestly very happy he's dying so he can't bully me anymore/ when he dies i will be very happy and i will not attend his funeral but my older brothers say i'ts disgusting of me to not be sad dad is dying (My dad was way nicer to my brothers and mostly i got all the yelling from my dad) ###### | NTA.
Only you get to decide how you feel about your dad's impending death and if you've not had a good relationship with him then it's very reasonable to feel relieved on his death. You're under no obligation to feel sad simply because you two are related ###### |
my ex really wanted me to get a switch so i would play more games with him. I said over and over i didnt want one, i was happy with my ps4 and not super into games anyway. He kept insisting hed buy me one, even got mad at me when I said “absolutely not” to him spontaneously driving to gamestop to buy one when we were both very broke.
Then animal crossing came out, he insisted that i would like it, he got it and i made a villager on his island. Seemed alright. Then covid happened and i offhandedly remarked that “maybe i should have bought a switch afterall since everyone on earth is playing animal crossing.” But switches were sold out everywhere. I just got the animal crossing app on my phone and called it good.
We very briefly discussed that people were selling switches on ebay, to which i said “this is such a scam these are way too much.”
He brought it up a few times more, insisting that he *might* buy me one. I said “if you do, do NOT spend more than $300.”
A few weeks later he surprised me with a switch, i was grateful, and told him i hoped he didnt spend too much. I assumed it was a gift. Later that night he starts dropping hints that i now owed him for it. Hed paid $400.
I have been very clear how i feel about these “hostage” gift scenarios- i am very against being surprise forced into a financial obligation. I wasnt super surprised though as my ex was always insanely frugal and rarely (if ever) paid for ANYTHING without expecting me to pay for something in return. (When i paid for things, which was about 70% of the time, he was cool accepting it, though).
As to not start an argument, i reminded him that i was pretty broke at the moment, as id just spent a ton of money (on his birthday) but maybe when i had money i could chip in.
Anyway, we broke up about a month later and he immediately insisted i pay him for the switch, and for every drink he ever paid for, and for gas ect because he lived far and had to drive to see me.
I told him to eat a dick. AITA? ###### | NTA.
Oh, shit.
Is that how gifting things works?
I owe Santa SO MUCH.
Send help OP ###### |
This happened last year around October.
I was at home, it was a Saturday around five pm and someone knocked on my door. I'd only been home from work for about an hour after having been awake since four am, and I was sitting down eating my dinner. I went and opened the door, it was a group of people and they started singing church hymns. They'd stuck a flier to my door that basically said "hi, we're from the local church and we've decided to start having Singing Saturdays where we'll go around town blessing people with hymns to encourage you to come to church and hear the word of God on Sundays."
When I realized what was going on I stepped back inside and shut the door, shut the curtains and went back to my dinner. They stayed outside until the hymn was over and then moved on down the street to my neighbors.
Later on, I was on the neighborhood Facebook page putting up an ad in search of a lawn mower for cheap and I saw the church had posted about "our amazing afternoon on \[street\] and how most people were receptive to the word of the lord but there was a couple of hold-outs they'd be paying another visit to." Most of the comments on the post were putting those couple of hold-outs on blast and one of the church members actually described my house and the houses of the other couple hold-outs. I reported it but considering my house is the only yellow house on the street it's pretty obvious who one of the hold-outs was.
Anyway, I was out on the next few Saturdays and didn't encounter them again but was called out on the Facebook page for not answering my door this time.
Was I an asshole because I didn't want to stand there awkwardly while strangers sang at me? ###### | NTA.
No one should have religion shoved in their face like that. And the group shouldn't have outed the people that weren't interested. ###### |
Last year I (28F) decided to go back to school and my fiance (30M) supported me.
When his mom found out I was starting (we decided not to say anything until it was official) she flipped out.
Why? Because I wouldn't be around to do anything they (I drive his mom, sister, 6 nieces, and his foster brothers where they need to go because she won't drive) wanted me to at random times.
"It's inconvenient". I quit my last job because it was an inconvenience to them! Once she starts complaining, my fiance is usually guilted into agreeing with her. I'm just glad he makes enough so I don't have to work but, the problem is, I WANT TO!
I refuse to give up my future because nobody wants to drive!
I'm just waiting for them to learn that I start my internship in the fall! All hell's gonna break loose!
So AITA for "not caring about them and their feelings and needs" because I want to have a better future for my kids?? ###### | NTA.
Laugh in the faces of people who try to guilt trip you. Someone else will drive. ###### |
I have a group of friends from my old college, and we've been doing video calls often. A couple of my friends have a new friend John, and he'll join for zoom. I was nice to him at first but honestly he's been kinda creepy to me, like wanting to get my Snapchat even though I say I haven't used it in years and don't even have it installed. Or go out with me after the quarantine is over, I've said I'm not interested and he just pushes it. So I haven't been too nice anymore, I'll just answer him with "fuck off"
Anyway I know some of the other girls in the group have picked up on the weirdness. I think the guys who first invited John are more oblivious. I had a conversation with two of my girl friends saying I was so done hanging out with John.
On the next call, John was saying, not even to me, but at the group, that he wanted to take me out to some place after quarantine. I just hung up. I called my actual friends on another service and some of them left the original call to pick up, and I said I was done hanging out with John, but if they wanted to hang with me now or later I'd be down.
They stayed on the call and a couple more of my friends joined too, till it was everyone but John and two guys in the new call.
I don't know video call etiquette but I don't see what I did as anything worse than walking out of a party like "I'm out guys, anyone coming with?"
But it's caused an argument in the friend group, the two guys who didn't pick up my call said it was petty and catty of me to split off a new group without John and if I wanted to leave I could have without doing that. Most of my friends are coming with what I did though, they're kind of feeling bothered by the stuff John says.
AITA for leaving the video call and making another without the person who was hitting on me ###### | NTA.
John didn't take no for an answer. That's creepy and unacceptable.
Leaving to talk with your friends without him is perfectly acceptable.
If some of your friends don't like that (notably it sounds like they're only guys), then you've learned something about them too.
A suggestion for the future if you're willing to put in the effort: if something like this happens in the future, organize your other friends who are also creeped out to approach and talk to the friends who aren't. Explain the situation, and that you won't be participating in future gatherings (Zoom, in person, whatever) if a creeper will be there. Then move on and do things without the creeper, and invite your other friends. Who comes and don't will tell you something about them. ###### |
So my freinds found out about a way to get American Netflix when we are in Australia. And one of my freinds didn't want to tell me. But the other one convinced that friend to tell me. So they told me and I was happy. I went home to my dad and told him all about it. He then proceeded to tell me about how it will never work, and if it does he will pay me a hundred dollars. It worked and we watched a movie from American Netflix and it was great. I then told my freinds all about my hundred dollars I got. And I was so happy
They then said I owed them 25 bucks each, for them telling me. We never agreed to this in the first place and I felt cheated. I obviously disagreed, but they corned me into doing it untill I just started crying and I gave them both the money the next morning. They asked if my parents where ok with, and they weren't so I said no. Then they gave the money back. Only because my parents weren't ok with it.
So please tell me Reddit AITA? ###### | NTA.
Jesus Christ, get some new friends. Pestering you to pay them, even when you don’t owe them anything, is just straight up manipulative. ###### |
Some context: I worked a 60hour work week job last year for like 4 months so I could buy some nice stuff (I’m 20) I bought all the parts for a fancy ass gaming PC, I’m talking RTX 2070, Liquid Cooling, you get it. Well I donated half of the parts from my last PC to my brother so he could build his own, that I built for him. The parts were like $300 in value including a monitor and whatever. Well recently he broke said monitor some how so now he feels the need to use my PC, it started with doing his online classes, because those are essential, so I get it. But now he wants to link his steam account and play fallout, on my PC that I slaved away for. I let him keep my Xbox one, I let him use my switch, I payed for both. But now for some reason he feels entitled to use my PC to play video games on instead of buying a $60 monitor for his working PC because he spent all his money on weed and AR-15 parts. I wasn’t having it so I called him out on it, because it seems very out of hand. He proceeded to blow up on me calling me selfish, and then told our mom and now they’re both shunning me because I won’t let him play Fallout 4 on my PC, which he also has for the Xbox. AITA? ###### | NTA.
It’s your PC, he isn’t entitled to its use. Why does he even he to use it if he has the same game on Xbox?
If the Xbox and Switch are yours, please take them from him if he is going to be this entitled about it. ###### |
Sorry for eventual errors: English is not my first language.
I (16F) live with my parents and my older sister (20F). I'm an average looking person: I'm tall 160cm, and my weight is 52 Kg (so, pretty normal: I'm not overweight -important to the story-), I have dark and curly hair, I mostly wear band shirts or movie shirts, and don't really wear makeup, except for eyeliner, and black lipstick sometimes.
Anyway, for the past 5 years, my mother always criticized everything I did with my appearance: she thinks my curly hair is ugly (... it's just my natural hair, and I love it), she thinks I don't wear enough makeup, she thinks I should dress more ladylike (hey, my Rammstein T-Shirt is as ladylike as I want it to be), etc...
The fact is, the thing she has criticized the most, is my weight. She always tells me how I should improve myself by, well, being the exact opposite of who I am, but she also wants me to exercise, so I can lose weight, because she thinks I'm too fat and that no one will like me if I keep being like this (my boyfriend strongly disagrees however).
But I DON'T WANT to lose weight, or modify my appearance in any way. It took years to me to love me as who I am. I love my hair, I love my face, I love my body and I love my weight (I actually gained more confidence in my appearance after gaining a little more weight, since I was 12).
I tried to talk to her about this many, many times, telling her I like myself as who I am, and I don't want to change, but everytime she just gets angry at me, saying that I am lazy and I just don't want to exercise, and that I should try and improve myself as any girl at my age. This has been going on for 4 years.
So AITA for not improving myself? ###### | NTA.
It’s one thing for your mother to be concerned if you just lay around the house without participating in any physical activity whatsoever, but if she’s focused specifically on your weight for no other reason than for the sake of your appearance, she can go kick rocks. ###### |
My(17M) brother(23M) is dating a girl(24F) for over a year. His girlfriend is just a really giving person and she came over our house today and she ordered food for her and my brother but she also offered to get food for my sister(19F) and I(17M) well we both took her up on that offer. My brother didn't seem to mind for the most part but now I'm getting text from him telling me that I should have said no to her buying me. He said she was just trying to be crudious and I wasnt suppose to say yes. AITA?
I should also add. I'm Frist generation Korean American. And she is white but she low key has yellow fever so she knows about Korean culture. If you didnt know in Korean culture it's just kind of a thing to show affection for people with food or to buy food for younger people you are close to. Like if I was going out to eat with a friend and his younger sibling I would pay because I'm thr oldest in my friend group and his sibling is obviously younger then me. It's just a thing. ###### | NTA.
It’s not being courteous to offer something you don’t actually intend to give. If she didn’t want to buy you food, she shouldn’t have offered. Unless you’re leaving some critical detail out, like you saw them ordering and were standing around hinting that you wanted some takeout too, you’re in the clear here. ###### |
So my husband and I have four kids. The one in question is our 16 year old daughter. I'd like to think my husband and I are quite progressive parents so we let her live her own life. She has a 17 year old boyfriend and they've been going at it for 8 months (I think). He's okay but crosses too many boundaries.
Against our requests he has a tendency of coming to the house unannounced, 'losing track of time' and asking us to give him a ride home at at 11 pm. When we talk to him about this he mutters something under his breath and goes off. When he was staying with us shortly before the whole 'rona mess, he was way too touchy with our daughter in our presence. This went from spanking her whenever she was bending over/leaning on something and openly snogging each other. We also suspect he stole my husband's cologne but that's just a suspicion.
Yesterday my husband and I were doing heavy cleaning around the house (it's been months) and I found a stain on one of the sides of a cushion. I thought it was nothing at first but my husband confirmed it was a cum stain. After a some investigating we crossed out everyone but my daughter. When we spoke to her she admitted that they had sex on the couch. The couch in the living room that all of us use. So we told her straight that he's not allowed in the house again.
She says we're overreacting but we're done. Are we the assholes in this case? ###### | NTA.
It’s a house that is shared amongst members of the family. That’s inappropriate. If they want to do anything, take it to the bedroom.
Another concern is that they might not be practicing safe sex. Your daughter is still very young and finding a cum stain on a couch is unsettling to say the least.
I think the measures you’ve taken is understandable and reasonable. If I were in your shoes, id suggest it too. It might be hard for her to see the bigger picture but I hope she’s able to understand it eventually. ###### |
My 16 year old brother was diagnosed with lactose intolerance about 8 months ago, he has it fairly bad I think he can’t eat anything with lactose in it without having to leave in the bathroom for like 2 days afterward.
My mum has bought lactose free and vegan food to accommodate him while trying to not majorly change his diet. One sore spot for him is ice cream, he has vegan friendly ice cream in our freezer but claims it doesn’t taste the same. I’ve got no clue, I don’t eat it because I don’t want to limit the amount of food he can eat in the house.
So because of the recent hot weather where I live mums been getting more ice cream when she does the shopping. She buys a tub for each of us so there isn’t an issue with sharing ( she’s always done this I think it comes from being 1 of 8 kids growing up and sharing being difficult).
It was the afternoon and the temperature was at its peak so without really thinking about it I went and got my ice cream out and was sat on the sofa eating it, my brother comes down sees me and almost immediately starts shouting while demanding to know what I’m eating. I told him it was cookie dough ice cream and he wanted to know if it was suitable for him, I responded no because it wasn’t and he had a tube of chocolate in the freezer that he could eat.
He started shouting about how he is always left out and disrespected for being different, that he’s always bought shit ice cream and that if he has to make do with vegan ice cream everyone else should too, he then stormed up the stairs and slammed his bedroom door as hard as he could.
Mum and dad have opted to ignore it, they’re putting it down to a stress reaction, he’s asked me to apologise to him because he feels I was inconsiderate of his issues. I don’t think I need to apologise, he’s been offered pills that could help him eat lactose foods but refused them and he has got food options. Why do I have to change my diet for him or my eating habits for him?
So AITA? ###### | NTA.
It’s a bummer situation for him, but he’s been given options and opted out.
Enjoy your damn ice cream. ###### |
I (28F) got engaged to a lovely bloke (38M) at Christmas, and I am super excited about it. We are getting married next year and I decided I ask my long term friends if they’d be a part of our special day, as my bridesmaids.
My sister and I have a mixed relationship, I personally feel I am the one who makes all the effort to maintain contact, and she only responds or messages me when she wants something. For example, I get her (and my niece) birthday and Christmas gifts and she conveniently forgets to even send me a card every time. We live in different cities and she has a child / is a single mum now so I get that it’s different now but how hard is it to respond to a text message?
I decided I didn’t want her to be a bridesmaid, she isn’t there for me and I can’t rely on her. A couple of weeks ago, out of the blue, she FaceTimes me. We have a nice catch up and I find out she’s had a lot of stuff going on since December, which is why I haven’t heard from her. She then asks me why I haven’t asked her to be a bridesmaid, to which I respond that she isn’t one.
She begins to cry and says things such as “but I’m your sister” etc etc. She was also upset that I hadn’t invited her to come wedding dress shopping. Now I really hate upsetting people but I feel I’m being more than fair considering she hasn’t bothered to ask me a single question about my wedding plans since she found out I was engaged.
I don’t think I’m being an a-hole here, my friends, partner and my mum all agree with me, but she’s stopped responding to my messages again, so clearly she thinks I’m in the wrong. Everyone always sticks up for her and makes excuses, so I am glad that on this occasion people are on my side, but I don’t want her to use this an excuse to not bother coming to the wedding. I don’t hate her, I just don’t think she’s bridesmaid material. AITA?! ###### | NTA.
It's your wedding and if you don't think your sister will contribute or is able to be relied on, don't lose sleep over it. ###### |
My boyfriend and I have lived together for over a year and we had birth control failure (broken condom) that resulted in me getting pregnant just a few months into the relationship.
The entire time I was pregnant I worked full time and was getting put on best eat quite a bit. He would not keep a job. He would not get along with management, they didn’t like him, they were picking on him, they wanted him to work longer hours or whatever excuse he could find to quit.
He’s also a chain smoker and always needing cigarettes or being very angry and rude when he didn’t have them. Well my son was born early and he needed to be in the NICU. I figured since my bf didn’t have a job that he would stay at the hospital with me.(2 1/2 hours away from our house) he then announced he got a new job and I could stay with the baby and he was going home (our son was given a 50:50 chance to even come home)
I was angry but I let him go hoping he was going to straighten up. Fast forward and our son is home and on oxygen and Of course my boyfriend isn’t working again and I’m pulling doubles. I make enough with my paychecks to pay the bills but I’ve been hiding my tip money in a wax candle burner it’s broken so it doesn’t turn on. I’ve saved quite a bit because if I don’t hide it then he takes it to buy pack after pack of cigarettes.
I know it’s dishonest but it’s the only extra money I have. Well he was messing around and hit the corner shelf where I keep the cash and it fell on the floor and money spilled out. He scolded me for hiding money from him and that he was suffering from nicotine withdrawal and that he couldn’t believe how selfish I was and that I was a liar and all this other stuff. AITA? ###### | NTA.
It's your tip money and also money that will likely be needed for your son not his cigarettes. His behavior is incredibly entitled!
My ex used to do this all the time too refuse to work and expect me to pick up his habit it was awful. ###### |
So, as Disney Plus was coming to my country, I managed to convince my parents to get an account, only if it was through ma pocket money. So, I decided, eh. fuck it, imma get it. So, it was all sunshine and rainbows for a while until my dad asked for the password to give to one of his friends. I was reluctant at first but my dad managed to convince me to give the password. But, I realized that it was a bad idea to give the password in the first place and went to the account settings and logged all devices out except for mine, and I have not told my parents yet about the log out. So, by taking the account off of the friend, Am I the Asshole ?
(also some might think im a dumbfuck for giving the password in the first place but my dad is a very persuasive person) ###### | NTA.
It's your money. So you should be able to decide who gets to use it. If your parents were paying for it I would say differently. ###### |
I always had a bit of a weird family, especially my father side. Lots of mental health issues, too.
My dad died almost 3 years ago. It was cancer, so prolonged hospital stays - people had plenty of time to visit him in hospital in the last months of his life.
Obviously, when I knew the end was coming, I contacted his closest relatives. Most did not come.
My Aunt showed up in hospital for literally 10 minutes, said she's switching meds and "can't mentally handle it" and that was the last time I saw her. My Uncle said he'd come, through a proxy, but was a no-show. Apparently he "did not want to see his big brother like that".
Now, I was never super close to that side of the family, but this ticked me off. I also suffer from depression and anxiety - yet, somehow, I had to bury my dad. Such is life.
I have not really reached out to them since. And really, they have not done do either. There was talk of doing a "celebration of my father's life" somewhere in a park, but it never materialized.
Recently I heard from another relative that my Aunt's husband has cancer. Terminal, so the're kind of trying to make the most of the last months/years.
Yet even hearing this I feel no desire to reach out to her. I feel...nothing. I don't feel like I need to support her while I've had zero support from her.
I've even been thinking of cutting legal ties as much as possible.
AITA if I just cut most of my dads family out because I feel like they cared zero shits about my dad and me and I don't feel I need them in my life? ###### | NTA.
It's your life and you don't have to be there for people who weren't there for you if you don't want to. ###### |
So she’s been learning to play video games, she’s not that bad but obviously is nowhere near as good as the maniacs who play online. So I said if she plays while my PSN is logged in I’d prefer if she plays offline or against the computer. And if she absolutely has to then please not on FIFA because I don’t want to get demoted. Idk if she watches porn on it or does whatever but that’s the only thing I care about and that’s my conditions if she plays on my console, is not to ruin my online profiles. She accepted these terms which I thought was fair. But I came home from work and nabbed her playing FIFA on my account. I had spent soooooooo much time getting to Division 1 and winning the title. Blood sweat and tears. And she got demoted all the way to division 4. For anyone who doesn’t know that means you’d have to lose at least 20ish games in a row, usually I just stop playing when I’ve lost 4 games in a row bc that mans I’m tilted You guys might think it’s ridiculous and I should get a life but I really care about that garbage game lol. But I told her that look I asked you to do only one thing and you still violated my trust so I said that for the time being I’m not at all comfortable with her playing on my console. She said she’s sorry (in fairness to her this is very mature) and I said I appreciate it for apologizing but I just need to regain trust in you before I want to let this be a thing again. I offered to contribute 75% of the costs of buying a console just for herself but she declined as she says she doesn’t see herself playing much and she wishes she could play on my console again. Just now I overheard her on the phone to her sister and she says that she thinks I’m being unnecessarily harsh and a tad bit controlling and I’m going overboard. I’m just not comfortable with it. AITA? ###### | NTA.
It's one thing to use this account and not realise what she's doing but you'd explained to her not to use it. And she disrespected your wishes. She obviously knows you're passionate about the game because you must play alot around her. I take the video game part out of the equation when deciding because it doesn't matter how trivial it is to other people it means something to you.
In saying that, if you really cared you would of taken some precautions to stop it happening. That's on you. ###### |
My husband has been temporarily laid off. Previously he worked full time (overtime, long hours) and I was a stay at home mom by day / worked part time at a restaurant in the evening / finishing my master’s degree at night (my mom often babysat the kids because my husband wouldn’t be home in time). Now my job has closed and my school (one class and a lab) has switched to online. My school is Mon and Wed nights from 5 to 8, it’s an online meeting in which I have to participate and interact.
Since all this, husband and I have split parenting duties pretty decently - I do more but he’s doing better than I expected (this has been a long ongoing fight with us where I feel he doesn’t pull his weight / gets way more free time than me). We take turns waking up with the kids and we each put one kid to bed at night. Last week I was off from school. However yesterday my husband had to feed and put both the kids to bed while I did my class. Tonight I ask him “were you planning on me putting both kids to bed?” And he says yes. I go on to explain I don’t think it’s fair, I’m not relaxing, I’m doing schoolwork and that shouldn’t mean I have to do everything the next night while he gets to sit and play video games all evening and night. He gets visibly angry and tells me *one* class isn’t work and he doesn’t agree so to stop talking but he’ll do it. AITA for not letting him get a “night off”? Because I get 0 of those. ###### | NTA.
It sounds like an already existing problem that was just magnified under this situation. ###### |
***Happened in October and recently came up in conversation***
I made a reservation at a nice restaurant for my anniversary. Our reservation was for 8:30 p.m. but the hostess said they were running a little behind. After 20 minutes of waiting, a couple walked in behind us and asked for a table. They didn’t have reservations and the hostess said they were looking at a 45-minute wait. The couple stood behind us discussing options, then five minutes later the hostess said our table was ready. The woman pointed out that she was seven months pregnant and would really appreciate if she could sit before us. I said no because we had a reservation and they did not, then suggested two places across the street that always have seats available. The couple was visibly annoyed and said something under their breath about how rude I was.
Had they made a reservation I would have gladly switched so they could sit a few minutes early, but they were basically asking for our reservation. We were looking at having to wait another 45 minutes.
There were multiple restaurants in the area so there were options. There was also bar seating available and they could have gotten food there. ###### | NTA.
It is ridiculous that she would expect you to give up your reservation because she, a stranger, decided to have a kid. ###### |
Hey all,
Read a post on here that made me think about something that happened a few months ago.
In August of last year, I adopted an 8 year old cat. She was surrendered with a dog by her previous family that June because of an owner illness. According to the volunteer, the family came back for the dog two weeks later but left her behind. I fell in love with her and brought her home that day. I spoil this sweet pur machine to bits. I absolutely adore her and the fact that she always needs to be near me makes me think the feeling is mutual. She is my first cat.
Over Christmas, the volunteer called me to check in to see how things were going-and to let me know the family had come back and requested for her to be returned. I gave an honest update and declined to return her because I felt if the family really wanted her that badly, and loved her that much after 8 years, they wouldn't have left her in the ACC for potentially 6 months. The volunteer didn't push and just said okay.
After reading that post about the person who is refusing to give their pet to the original owner, I am wondering if I was the one in the wrong. I have 0 intention of bringing her back to the ACC, but I am curious if I was a jerk for keeping her.
TL;DR: got a cat in august, family wanted her back by December. I said nah. ###### | NTA.
In the post you were referencing, the person didn't get their dog from a shelter. That dog wasn't surrendered, it escaped after a fire and it's owners still loved and wanted it back very dearly.
In your situation: They already made the choice to get rid of their cat. ###### |
my(18f) girlfriend(19f) is bisexual and i have always known this. however it did not bother me until she admitted that she was curious what having sex with a man would be like. we’ve talked about wanting a future together and i’m her first relationship so it bothers me because i know it’s something i could never give her. i also don’t particularly like the thought of her sucking a dick, which she jokes about. today she said over the phone that she liked dick, balls, and male pectorals, and i immediately hung up. we’re not talking right now. AITA for legitimately feeling bad? i’m not angry at her it just makes me feel so shitty since i know if we stay together it’s something she’ll never try even though she’s curious ###### | NTA.
In relationships where both parties are mature, one doesn't openly verbalize a desire for fantasies that their partner is unable to fulfill. Doing so intentionally is asshole behavior.
The problem here, though, is that I think your partner's behavior is not exactly intentional/unintentional. I think that she's just accessing a different part of your relationship. What I mean is that you are both girlfriends, and friends. When she describes her fantasies, desires, and daydreams, she's talking to you like a friend (that is, someone who has no stake in what she sucks on or puts in her mouth). She's not aware, or not respecting, that you are entering that conversation as her girlfriend.
She wants to talk about it with someone, that someone just isn't you. ###### |
I’ll do my best to keep this brief.
Earlier this week my parents came to visit my wife and I because we recently had another child. While they were visiting, my father used a word, which I won’t repeat, but it ends with a hard R, and I told him he can’t use that word in front of my children or in my home. Good time to mention my father and I are both white, my wife and children are not.
After some pretty low powered excuses for why he’s not a racist and how it’s just a word, I eventually said to him “You know, you may not think you’re a racist, but at the very least you’re complicit, so you should really drop the white supremacist bull shit, because your white fucking bloodline dies with me.” This is when he stormed out of the house, and out of the yard slamming every door he came across. I’ll mention, it was also the date on which my older brother would’ve turned 34 had he not passed two years ago.
Broke the latch on my fence gate, which I repaired today, Fathers Day ironically. That was Wednesday. After my mom and dad returned home (about a 6 hour drive), he texted my wife saying he was very sorry he left without saying goodbye to her or my kids. Today he finally texted me to wish me a happy Father’s Day and day he loved me. Honestly, I’m still pissed. My father has a history of pulling crap like this and then pretending nothing happened so that I look like the jerk for not ignoring the fact that he was in the wrong and wants to move forward without apologizing or even acknowledging he has done anything wrong.
There’s plenty of other examples of this kind of behavior from him in my past that I decided to forgive and forget (even though he never apologized) after my only brother died, but I am not going to tolerate racism and if he wants a relationship with his son or grandkids, I think he should apologize and I’m ignoring him until he does. Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA.
In any way, shape or form. Your father seems to have issues with being called out for his flaws and thats a him problem. Not yours.
I would probably tell him why you've chosen to ignore him though. ###### |
So if the name didn’t give enough explanation, here is some back story. My brother is slightly special needs. Nothing major. He mainly acts younger than his age. There may be some mental stuff there but my parents never told me about any.
Anyways, my brother loves fire alarms. He plays with them like toys, constantly plays with the ones in the house, buys some for play use etc. These are completely real fire alarms mind you. My parents are completely okay with this and buy him more and more constantly. He has over 50 now.
I personally hate this. I am the only other sibling and having to hear alarms constantly (any time of the day. Morning, night, etc. if I had a dime for every time I’ve woken up at 5am because of it, I’d be rich) is not only incredibly annoying but dangerous as well. My family has become desensitized to fire alarms since they always assume it’s him now.
Pretty regularly I get angry about this whole thing and try talking to my mom about it. She usually ignores me or gets angry saying how I don’t have a right to dislike his interest/think they should get rid of them. They say I’m incredibly rude for thinking it needs to stop since it’s what he likes. Because of his special needs, I’m wondering if I am rude to think he should stop what he likes. However, I feel like my feelings are completely justified. What do you all think? Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA.
if your parents don't give a damn about you and only about your brother - point out that right now, *they're training him to think fire alarms are fun playtime*. and they're training him and everyone around him *to ignore the sound of a fire alarm.*
so what's going to happen when there's a real fire?
he'll stay in the house because it's time to play. and everyone else will think it's another annoyance. and then everyone will be crispy critters.
maybe throw in a jab to her about if that's the *intended* effect since this is her strategy for long-term care of him - a big ol' cremation for brother dearest - and she'll actually listen. (well. okay. don't actually do that part. but dream a little assholeish dream in your heart.) ###### |
My partner injured themselves last December and has Piriformis Syndrome. It's where a muscle becomes inflamed and pinches the sciatic nerve. It causes shooting pains down the leg. They refused to go to the doctor for months and after diagnosis refused to take any medication to help them heal. They prefer to heal naturally over time by stretching and massaging the injury. It bothers me that they aren't accepting treatment but it's their body and I have to respect their wishes. My partner is the love of my life and it is extremely hard for me to watch them be in pain.
I have noticed that when we visit their parents, their pain seems to triple, they making pained grunting noises, walk doubled over and basically act like they are on their death bed. Of course their parents become very concerned and fondle over them to help them feel better. I don't doubt that they are really injured but they are definitely exaggerating for some attention. It weirds me out but I havent said anything about it.
Now they do occasionally try to do this to me. For example, earlier today they were taking out the trash and began to make their little grunting noises. I ignored them. They began to get even more dramatic and louder. I continued to ignore them until they finally asked me to help them take out the trash. I said of course I will help you and all you have to do is ask.
I simply refuse to baby my partner. I feel like if they need something then they can ask me like an adult. They are not a toddler with a limited vocabulary. They have to grow up and figure out that they have to use their words and communicate properly. I do feel like I might be a little harsh by ignoring them. Does this make me an asshole? ###### | NTA.
If you need help, ask for it. If you don't feel like you can ask for help from someone you're in a relationship with then that's a whole different kettle of fish.
It sounds like attention-seeking behaviour. I've no doubt that it's genuinely painful (sounds shitty for you both) but the fact that they change their behaviour around their parents etc. makes me wonder if they just want some sympathy and attention.
I've very little patience for stuff like that, so I feel you and don't think you're being harsh. Might be worth just having a chat with them to reiterate the fact you'll gladly help out but they have to ask :) ###### |
So last week I quit my job (I got an amazing offer from an amazing company).
My almost-former boss asked why and I told her (via email due to COVID) the complete truth: microagressions, lack of diversity (or interest in bring more in), nepotism, exclusion and subtle racism, homophobia, and sexism. I copied her bosses and sent a diversity plan to them.
I listed examples and pasted links for how to deal with and recognize microagressions. I listed out examples of what I’ve experienced and made suggestions on how they can correct it.
This was last Friday - on my day off. They have yet to reply. ###### | NTA.
If what you're saying is true they probably don't want to acknowledge what you said for potential legal reasons. Don't worry about it.
Good luck with your new job! ###### |
Throwaway daughter has Reddit
I have two kids one 14 year old son and another 16 year old daughter. A few weeks ago was my son birthday and he got a Nintendo switch two games and a pro controller. My daughter was upset and wanted me to make the gift a family gift. I told her no as it was my sons birthday gift and that was his own personal device he does not need to share. My daughter complained how my son got a better gift than her but I told her we spent 650 on the art supplies she wanted.
My daughter has not talked to me since the birthday and my ex wife called me up and told me I was a bad parent for not making the console be shared as video games are supposed to be shared. i told her no but I do feel a little guilty so for not forcing my son to share his Nintendo switch because my daughter wants to play ###### | NTA.
If she wanted a switch, she should have asked for it.
I would tell your daughter that her 650 dollar art supplies were not a family gift, and no childs birthday present should be a family gift.
Tell your ex wife to pound sand and get her the switch herself. ###### |
We normally get along but we are having a dumb fight about this and I'm having a hard time communicating to him why it annoys me when he asks me these kinds of questions. I made dinner last night and when it came time to clean up, I asked him to put away the chicken. He asked what do I want him to put the chicken in and I snapped at him saying 'can you please just figure it out?'. This was in an irritated tone - not a regular question (so this is where I'm probably TA).
Every time I make a meal, he asks me questions about 'what he should do'. I don't want to think about this. If the kitchen needs cleaning, pick something and clean it up. I don't want to tell him to clean something up and then also have to tell him how. He is a smart, capable person who makes good decisions. I trust him with whatever cleaning decision he makes! Moreover, I really don't care how something gets cleaned up - I just want it cleaned up! And this weird dynamic where he wants input from me about how to clean up is sort of new. He knows how to cook and I moved into his house so it's not like it's my kitchen that I am particular about it.
I know the adult thing would probably be to just answer the question instead of snapping but I was particularly exhausted yesterday. In my job, I answer difficult questions non-stop all day and I was having an extra bad day at work yesterday. At the end of the day, I have no more mental energy for how to clean up the kitchen!
But maybe I'm making something out of nothing? He seems to think so and, in fact, is still mad at me for it. I just want to be able to hand off part of the work to him and not have to think about it!
So what say you Reddit - AITA? ###### | NTA.
If men can handle complex and difficult careers outside the home, they have no excuse for not being able to do basic household tasks too. It's feigned ignorance. ###### |
Our first child is 7 months old next week and I've had an issue with how my husband speaks to her. She'll do something like getting stuck and pick he'll her up and say "oh you're just a stupid baby." Or when she's crying say, " stop there's nothing wrong. You're fine." Sometimes he has unreasonable expectations like getting frustrated that she wasn't crawling already (she is now crawling at 6 months!)and I tell him to stop putting unreasonable expectations on her. While I know that she doesn't understand a lot of what we say...it just doesn't feel right and I tell him to stop. He gets this face like I'm being unreasonable/ nitpicking him but I don't want my daughter's feelings to be invalidated. I don't want her growing up and her ever thinking that she's stupid. I keep telling him that what we say to her now will be her inner voice when she's older.
My biggest fear when I found out I was pregnant was having a girl. I was afraid of the task to raise a girl who felt confident and empowered, who loved her body. I struggled a lot myself with these issues and I don't want the same for her.
So reddit, AITA for vocally stepping in? ###### | NTA.
If he's starting like this it'll only continue and escalate. Maybe he thinks this is on par with saying things like, "silly baby," and, "oh no need to cry, don't worry, it's okay."
But his language is too harsh and even if he doesn't mean badly soon enough she will understand and be hurt.
Even at this age she is a sponge, she understands to a significant degree his tone and attitude, and is forming an understanding and opinion of him and its not gonna be good or healthy. ###### |
I’ll cut to the chase. My boyfriend recently found out he’ll be getting laid off in a month due to his company being acquired by another.
He’s been horribly down and depressed the past few weeks as a result. Last night while on the phone with him, he was sounding very, very depressed. The conversation went as follows:
Me: “What’s wrong handsome? Are you doing alright tonight?”
Him: “No, are you fucking stupid? Do you not pay attention to anything I say?”
Me: “I’m not stupid.”
Him: “Well the things you say are fucking stupid, so I’m calling you fucking stupid.”
I then paused and said: “I was asking you what’s wrong, not giving you permission to call me ‘fucking stupid’ and insult my intelligence.”
Him: “K then talk to you later.”
Me: “So rude.” *click*
I then sent him a text message as follows: “Sorry, I don’t deserve to be called “fucking stupid”, no matter how you’re feeling.
Talk to me when you apologize for lashing out.
Bye.”
He texted me this morning saying how insensitive I am and how dare I request an apology from him during these times. I simply haven’t budged or responded. I feel I deserve a little dignity and respect?
AITA? ###### | NTA.
If he was frustrated by being asked the question there are more adult ways to handle it than lashing out with insults.
The fact that it’s a stressful time does often mean people are more likely to snap; but that isn’t an excuse to not apologize and try to do better. He’s basically saying if times are tough it’s okay for him to act like an asshole, and you just have to take it. ###### |
I (16f) found out a few days ago from doing an ancestry kit that my dad isn’t my real dad . That wouldn’t have bothered me that much but it turns out that my biological father was my mother’s ex boyfriend who my mum cheated on with my dad.
Bio dad didn’t know my mum was pregnant until after I was born as she ended it with him when he found out about the affair. She told him he wasn’t the father. She refused to do a dna test because her parents preferred her new boyfriend and I’m pretty sure she tried to get a restraining order.
Aita for getting angry at my mum after my aunt told me the story ? ###### | NTA.
I've never understood these kinds of people who go around with different men expecting nothing to ever happen to them, and then when it does blatantly lie about it. You deserve the truth, nothing less of it. ###### |
So I’m a straight dude and I have two gay roommates. I, obviously, agreed to live with them and have no issues with them being gay at all. Although they’re way more comfortable in the bathroom together than I am. In fact I’m not comfortable being in the bathroom with them ever, but they don’t have an issue with it. For example, if one of them is brushing their teeth they don’t have any issue with the other coming to pee in the toilet right next to them. If they’re having a conversation and one of them needs to poop, one will go on the toilet and the other will go in the bathtub and they’ll keep talking. That doesn’t affect me, so I don’t care.
However, they always poop with the door open. It’s disgusting. I’ve frequently walked out of my room and just smelt poop, then I look at the bathroom and I see them sitting on the toilet. They often leave the door open to continue their conversation. I’ve told them it’s gross, and they stop for a day, but then do it the next day.
Other times I’m half asleep and I walk to the bathroom and look at the toilet just to see a half naked man on it.
Today I was sitting on the couch and my roommate opened the door to the bathroom mid poop to ask my other roommate a question. I yelled at him to close the door and he snapped back “I’m not talking to you shut up”. Am I the asshole for wanting the door closed when they poop? ###### | NTA.
I've been married for 7 years.
I still don't let my husband in the bathroom while I'm going and probably never will. ###### |
I'm in an LDR and my gf has been lonely and uncomfortable in her cramped studio apt during COVID lockdown. This woman she goes to grad school with knew that and gave her the key to her place while she's out of town for the summer, but they're not really friends, more like colleagues, and she assumed my gf was only going to stop in from time to time to get some work done in a quiet place. She even asked for a little money to go towards rent, and my gf paid her fifty bucks.
Little does she know, my gf has been sleeping there every night. The place is bigger and nicer than my gf's and she feels safer there because the neighbors don't scream at each other all night. When she first starting going there I thought she was staying at a *friend's* place, but recently she revealed the true situation to me on the phone and then confessed that she also read this woman's diary, which was just sitting right there on her desk. I was shocked; I said it was an invasion of privacy and asked my gf how she would've felt if someone she trusted with her apt key read her diary. She said she wouldn't have cared.
She called me an asshole for judging her, and she later justified the diary thing by saying that she's been so lonely she just needed to see if someone else felt that way. She said I should've taken her side and empathized with her instead of being cold and judgmental, and she's still pissed about it. But I stand by my judgment! Is reading someone's diary just not as bad as I think it is? ###### | NTA.
I'm willing to bet that someone who gets annoyed at being called out on their bullshit would definitely have been upset to have their privacy invaded... ###### |
I have a non identical twin brother named Justin. I'm under no illusion that he's the better looking between us. He's a great guy if not a bit philandering.
Since we were bored yesterday, we video called my friend Jay and his wife and we just caught up with each other over a couple glasses of wine. We eventually got to playing this game where someone asks a question and we all answer. I asked everyone who their cheat pass (someone you would cheat with if allowed) is and everyone gave celebrities crushes as expected, except my loving wife. She first asked about specifics. Whether it was just a one time thing, the whole night or a fling. We all agreed on whole night and then she blurted "Then Justin! Omg we'd fuck all night long". We all broke into laughter because we thought she was talking about Justin Bieber.
Jay then made a comment about Timberlake being better than Bieber and my wife clarified that she actually meant my brother. Like wtf? Obviously things got awkward so they ended the call and we got into a fight over it. She said I shouldn't be angry because I was the one who asked her and now I'm judging her truthful answer. I spent the night in the guest room and even this morning she was completely unapologetic and said I should be the one apologizing for being an ass last night and "judging her truth". Aita? ###### | NTA.
I'm a person who usually believes that if you aren't going to like the answer then don't ask the question but not for this situation. Usually when someone mentions a "cheat pass" they're generally talking about celebrities- *not their spouse's siblings*. Plus it was uncool of her to also say that they'd "fuck all night long". That just seems like she has thought about it definetly more than once.
If my boyfriend said that about my sister I'd be highly upset and frankly a little insecure. ###### |
I'm literally in tears typing this because I don't know what I've done wrong.
Here's some background:
I'm a second year university student, I've come home because my university shut down because of what's going on. Ever since I came home, I've literally been helping my mom in every way she asks me to.
I sweep the floor, then I clean it with a wet cloth (we have 2 mops at home, and my mom says I'm too fat to use a mop so I have to be on my knees and clean to get soem exercise???), I do the dishes and them put them out to dry and bring the dried ones back in, I cut vegetables for my mom to cook, I water the plants (there's a whole lot of them too). I do all of this and then attend my online classes and study. My father does the laundry and hangs up the clothes and does the dishes as well, and then does his office work. My mother cooks and washes the dishes she's used to cook. That's the only thing she does. Then she screams at me, if I slip up with even one thing saying she has to do everything in this house and that I don't do anything.
The actual incident:
Today, at 9 am, I told my mom that I have an online class at 10 am. She stared at me and asked me when I'll do all of my chores since I had just woken up. She yelled at me asking why I didn't tell her that my class is at 10 (I've told her twice last week, and showed her my timetable as well). Then she screamed at me saying I'm inconsiderate and that I treat her like shit. I couldn't tell her that my class was just an hour long, I'd do all the chores right after my class because she was too busy screaming at me. Am I being ungrateful? Am I being inconsiderate? I've been doing all the chores everyday without a single break since over 2 weeks man. AITA for telling her this? ###### | NTA.
I wish I had advice for you, but it doesn't seem like your mom is a reasonable person.
>and my mom says I'm too fat to use a mop so I have to be on my knees and clean
Your mom sounds like a miserable person.
Please don't blame yourself. ###### |
My daughter and her girlfriend, 19F and 20F, have been together for 8months.
My daughters girlfriend recently kicked her out, I haven't been told why but I'm sure they'd tell me if they wanted me to know.
I said that she could stay and to let me know before she got here so we could all talk.
When I got home she had arrived and they had unpacked in my daughters room.
I waited until dinner time and spoke to them together and said while I appreciated that they loved each other under my roof she will sleep in the guest room, if she is staying for a while we can decorate it a little (it's pretty basic, sofa bed, television and a book case)
She understood and moved rooms, said shes just thankful for staying here.
My exwife and daughter are very upset with me because I'm treating her like a guest instead of family, my partner is on my side.
Neither of them pay rent or work.
AITA? ###### | NTA.
I was kicked out before as a teenager, and my ex's family let me stay with them. They asked that I just slept in the guest room, and I was appreciative to have a bed to sleep on. I could've slept in my ex's bed but I respected his parents and slept in the guest bed, they would make dinner for me and even encouraged me to continue going to college.
Everyone here saying why do you care or they are adults, and that's correct that they are adults. They are adults who can make their own decisions in life, and can chose to abide by sleeping arrangements or leave.
This does not mean they are being separated from each all the time, and by the sounds of it OPs daughters gf doesn't seem to mind it. Plus the benefits of having her own room is great, especially if shes a student and needs to study, her own room to unwind would be heavenly. ###### |
I’ve been together with my boyfriend for 6 years now and we’ve been talking about the future and marriage but have a few hang ups that we’ve been trying to work through. One of the things that is a major source of tension between us is that he goes on a “mancation” with his dad, dad’s friend, and dad’s friend’s son each year. I have no problem with the vacation itself but he’s expressed that when we have children, as we are both 24 it’s something that’s not too far off, he wants to continue the mancation tradition with our potential son. This is frustrating to me for a few reasons, 1. He has a sister and it’s VERY clear that her relationship with their dad isn’t nearly as close as my boyfriend’s. I think it hurts her that my boyfriend is clearly their dad’s favorite. 2. On Mancation they typically go camping or jeeping and I know that for me even though I am interested in more “girly” activities, I also enjoy doing these kinds of things and excluding a daughter because of her gender seems silly and a bit sexist to me. 3. My family growing up always went on family vacations together. To me the idea of spending a two week long vacation separate from each other just seems a bit weird. I know that this is sort of a silly argument because a lot of it depends on what if’s but it has been causing a big rift in our relationship and my boyfriend thinks I’m being controlling and isn’t sure about our future if this is going to bother me. I know that with our families being so different that I could be biased so I was hoping for the opinion of internet strangers. AITA? ###### | NTA.
I was fine until you said the 'Mancation' was TWO WEEKS!'
For most family's in the US, all they get is a two week vacation once a year, if your lucky. I was thinking a long weekend or something with the guys, but 2 weeks is definitely unreasonable to be away from your family constantly.
I have had a 'friendscation' with my girlfriend before without my husband, but it was only 4 days, and it's not every year. My husband and I are a family, we prioritize time with each other over time with others.
I would talk to him about it nicley. They don't have to get rid of the Mancation, but when you both have a family of your own, it needs to be toned down. He can't disappear with your potential son for 2 weeks every year. A long weekend camping trip wouldn't be unreasonable though. I would also mention that you want to know what he would do to make any daughter you guys may have not feel left out. And what he would do to bond with her? It is truly unfair to take a son out and not treat a daughter to any special time as well.
You have every right to worried about this. May I ask if you guys get to have a Vacation together every year as well? Or does this cut into your own bonding time? This is definitely something that needs to be figured out sooner rather than later. ###### |
My wife has been asking me to get things for her upstairs multiple times a day for the past several months. This morning she asked me to get something from our room (she was not busy and could have done it herself) and I asked why she never got things herself but was always asking me to do it. I asked her if she was "allergic to stairs," which I thought was kind of funny but she thought was pretty rude. FWIW my 7 year old thought it was hilarious.
AITA? ###### | NTA.
I second your 7 y.o, I find it funny. ###### |
My mom knows I (17f) can’t stand the taste or smell of teriyaki sauce. I have told her this multiple times, because the smell/taste makes me sick to my stomach. I ask her for a heads up whenever she makes something with teriyaki sauce in it so I can grab something for myself to eat.
I went grocery shopping for my mom today, and when I come back, my mom tells me it’s time for dinner. I go into the kitchen, and the smell hits me. She made beef tips and then covered it in a whole ass layer of teriyaki. I got a bit upset with her and asked her why she didn’t tell me she was making dinner with teriyaki sauce, and she laughs and says that it was just a last minute thing. I told her that maybe she shouldn’t have done that last minute thing, because now I couldn’t go grab something to eat from a restaurant (it was around 7:30, most stores close around 8:00 now, and we live like thirty minutes out from the closest fast food place)
Mom called my brothers “Andy” (16m) and David (13m) into the room and told them that I was “being picky” and refusing to eat. They started giving me shit about it, and I told them if they really wanted me to eat it, they could clean up my puke later.
Apparently I ruined dinner by being picky about food covered in something that makes me sick, and my mom is acting like a 5 year old who got upset (huffing, sighing, refusing to talk, etc.) and Andy told me I should’ve sucked it up and ate it. To sum it up: i basically ruined the entire night for my family by not eating.
AITA for not eating food covered in teriyaki sauce?
EDIT: because I just realized people might be confused about why I can’t just make something in the kitchen: My mom doesn’t like people cooking after dinner’s been made, or even people being in the kitchen afterwords. ###### | NTA.
I have the impression that your mom tried to back you into a corner and force you to eat to prove a point. She called your brothers so they could "gang up on you" which is wrong. You're allowed to not like certain types of food (for example, I hate anything with peppers, so I tend to stay clear of 'em).
Could you have done your own food at home since everything was closing down by the time you got home? ###### |
I'm (17M) required to eat breakfast at 10:30am sharp and to finish by 11:00am (Lunch and Dinner also have their respective eating times but it was specifically a "violation" of the breakfast time schedule that caused me to write this). It's not the amount of time that's absurd, but rather the fact that I can't eat whenever the hell I want to eat in my home. Usually when it comes to food I just eat whenever I want to because I'm personally someone who doesn't mind being hungry for awhile and only eat when I REALLY need to. Additionally I hate eating breakfast, I've just always hated eating in the morning cause I never really have an appetite so early in the morning. I understand the old "My house, My rules" bullshit argument, but I'm 17 years old and I think its stupid that my parents have authority over my eating habits. I understand that my parents would be worried if I didn't eat at all since I'm a relatively skinny guy, but I always eat the food she "gives" (more like forces) me to eat, just at a much later time. Anyways the situation where the "AITA" question can apply to is today when I woke up pretty late \~10:40 and just decided not to eat the yogurt my mom told me to eat, and when she called at around 11:40 she yelled at me for like an hour for not eating some fucking yogurt. I understand that I didn't keep our "promise", but in my opinion I think its stupid to get that angry over some fucking yogurt. ###### | NTA.
I have a very very small earing disorder because of my parents being so strict about what I eat growing up. I have a problem now, even as an adult, about eating out and hiding it from people.
It drives me husband nuts, but I absolutely can't handle comments about my eating habits. I also have an issue with eating too much of the same thing because my parents wanted me to stay thin. So they fed me a very limited diet. Salad, chicken, olives, nuts. No pop allowed, now I'm addicted to Coca Cola. I constantly want different foods. Ugh, i never realized it was a problem until i started seeing a therapist.
So yeah, your not an asshole, you mom is a control freak though. ###### |
Two years ago my cousin's dog was diagnosed with a life threatening medical condition. The veterinary bill eclipsed $10,000 AUD. My cousin didn't have the necessary funds, and for whatever reason ended up in my house begging and pleading for a loan.
I should mention here that I'm not rich by any means. Rather, it's the fact that I'm the only person in our family that (1) has a steady job and (2) has no major expenses. My partner and I lived frugally for a long time to save up an emergency fund. The loan came out of these funds.
The loan agreement is simple: $10,000 over a maximum duration of five years, paid monthly, and accruing interest rate pegged to my mortgage offset account's interest rate. There is no 'formal' contract per se (though one most likely exists at common law). But there is an understanding that she will pay the loan back as soon as possible.
Unfortunately, collecting money from my cousin has been like drawing blood from a stone. My cousin is a low income earner. Which would be fine - especially because she lives at home and has no major expenses. But she also spends way beyond her means: luxury designer items, exorbitant holidays abroad, etc. Things she has no business purchasing on her income.
To put it in perspective, my cousin has had more late payments than ones paid on time. To date, she's currently three months in arrears (\~ $500 AUD). It isn't much, I know. But it's the mere fact that I have to continually chase her up that annoys the hell out of me.
So when I saw her bragging about a new Burberry coat on her social media, I couldn't help but leave a comment to the effect of: "You can't afford a Burberry coat. You can't even afford to pay me back for your dog's surgery".
By the time my cousin noticed my comment, enough people were talking about it. My cousin called me up infuriated that I would out her dirty laundry. But, honestly, I'm at my wit's end. I just want her to stick to our agreement.
AITA? ###### | NTA.
I guess you've learned to never lend money to people again though. Never lend what you wouldn't gift. ###### |
Okay, so I'm 20 F, and I'm living with my parents.
So this happened today at lunch. We'd all sat down to eat, and there was fish. I hate fish. I hate most non-vegetarian food. Nonetheless, I didn't want to start a fight, so I sat down and ate almost all of it, except for a little bit which I just didn't want to anymore. And trust me, when I say little, it was a tiny little piece.
I got up to wash my hands and rinse my mouth, when my mother called me back and asked me to finish it. Now, I really didn't want to. Firstly, I was already very full, and secondly, I just couldn't eat any more fish. I'd probably throw up.
So I said no. She kept bullying me. And I kept saying no.
My mother has a history of doing this. My brother and I could never be picky about anything we ate growing up, because it was a rule to eat everything that was served. I understand not wanting to waste food, but I just can't tolerate eating certain things.
Her force-feeding has probably led to me overeating at some times and barely eating at others.
So anyway, back to the story. She pulled me aside and angrily told me that I was embarrassing her in front of our house-help.
And I just couldn't believe her. I couldn't bare to ingest something at all anymore and to her, it was only about listening to her so that I didn't embarrass her.
She called me to a side room and started getting furious about how I always embarrass her and stomp on her dignity.
I stormed out of the room.
Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA.
I get trying not to waste foods or whatever. But she pick a fight with you, and you fought back. But next time you probably don't need to eat it at all, as in, dont even pick the food. ###### |
My girlfriend and I have been dating for about two years. As a fat kid in high school, I really wanted to change how I felt about myself, and I transformed myself during my stay in college, to the extent that I was fairly ripped all the time and had abs.
This was when I met my girlfriend. She has never been to the gym in her life and hates excising. I have never forced her to do anything, or even hinted at her to change herself. She has gained 20 pounds since we were together, and I genuinely think her body is perfect all the time.
I worked 20 hour shifts in the hospital for a couple of months, and had to live there for 2 weeks. Obviously, with the gyms closed and me feeling too exhausted, I put on a few pounds and lost my abs. I was completely fine with this. But the moment I got the chance to spend a few days home after being quarantined at the hospital, my girlfriend's first reaction was disappointment for not being ripped. I was honestly tired and just went to sleep, but she kept pinching my 'fat' areas like my love handles and asked me when I would get rid of them.
At this point, I honestly just wanted a few days off and was very annoyed at her persistence. She got angry at me and told me that sex was off the table until I had abs again, and I lost control of myself at this point.
Basically told her how she knew absolutely nothing about exercising and was being a tyrannical asshole, how she should just start exercising if she thinks it's that easy, how her body doesn't require any hours at the gym to maintain while I just want to enjoy some good food after my shitty experience at the hospital cafeteria. I asked her to do a single push up in front of me, and she failed, so I told her how big of an idiot she was being for expecting me to be in the mindset of exercising all the time.
EDIT: Just want to give the full context, so I have let my ugly side out too, thanks for any judgement ###### | NTA.
I don't understand why you're with her. She is extremely shallow and rude. She told you that you too won't be having sex until you get abs. She is telling you that she only likes you for your body when you are ripped. ###### |
I (21F) recently moved in to a new flat, now I'm living by myself and the cats, which is much better because I was having a hard time with my ex-flatmate. Where I used to live, my boyfriend (M23) had the keys, for a while it was ok but suddenly he started to make some suprise visits and I got really scared it could be someone breaking into my house, apart from the fact that sometimes I need to be alone to study.
I moved to this flat 3 months ago and I made an extra copy to my brother, as sometimes I have to travel, he takes care of my cats.
The """problem""" of my new building is that I have to go all the way down to open the door for guests to come in, and this fact is really bothering my boyfriend! The street I live is dark during the night, so can be quite scary but is not dangerous.
He basically wants the keys because he is afraid of my street and if someday I don't answer my phone to open the door he thinks I will put his life in danger.
Despite from that, he also brings the fact that he had the keys of my old house and is weird he doesn't have of my new one. During a discussion I made an unfortunate comment... I said "we are not married, I am the one that lives here, not you and you don't even pay rent". He was upset and I said that on the heat of the moment but it seems like he can't understand that I enjoy my personal space and having the key or not will not make him stop visiting me. I don't have the key of his house and I couldn't care less. ###### | NTA.
I can't **STAND** entitled people. Your boyfriend thinks he's entitled to a key to *your* house which he doesn't pay to live at; and then he pulls a victim card by saying that he's afraid that you're going to put his life in danger because of it being a dark street.
No.
He just wants the power to come in and out of your house as much as he pleases. ###### |
So since I’ve been working from home I have meetings 2 days a week. But even during the days I don’t I still dress decently and wear a little makeup because it makes me feel good, and also my boyfriend compliments me a lot when I dress well, and say what you will but it’s nice.
But our roommate yesterday asked why I have to dress up so much in the house because it’s oppressive and weird. I explained why and she said it was egotistical to fish for compliments by dressing well, and that dressing so well makes her feel out of place.
For reference I was just wearing a casual dress and a little bit of makeup, it wasn’t like I was dressed for a wedding. But she wants me to dress down when I don’t have meetings, like sweat pants and a t shirt everyday.
AITA? ###### | NTA.
I admit I'm a little biased - I spent one day of lockdown in a fur coat, tiara and a prom dress (which was great.) Fashion is a passion of mine and it's been cheering me up. If you enjoy dressing well, then that's up to you.
Everybody is a little sensitive/stressed right now so maybe don't go too hard on her, but a firm 'we're both entitled to dress as we like, there's no need for anyone to feel out of place in our living space' should hopefully do the trick. ###### |
So some quick information is im 15F and I’ve had two very obvious surgical scars on my body my whole life. A feeding tube scar and a open heart surgery scar. If course im thankful i’m alive but I could definitely do without scars. I’m pretty insecure about it and it sucks sometimes I cant wear low cut shirts, some crop tops, or two piece bikinis in the summer because people WILL stare.
For the past three years I been bringing up the idea of a tattoo on my feeding tube scar when im 18 and every time I bring it up it’s immediately shot down. My dad keeps saying “If you grow up with a tattoo I raised you wrong” and my mom thinks its “trashy” And, the reason I care is because they’ll stop supporting me and will be upset with me if I get a tattoo, piercing, etc. They’ve said they’d kick me out if I did it when im living under their roof and I cannot tell if theyre joking or not. I love my parents but idk why the line is just drawn at body modifications.
My dad left to work in another state for the next two years until im in college and then my parents are gonna move out of our current house. I was sitting outside enjoying quality time with my mom and it came again to me discussing the idea of a tattoo. I seriously been trying to convince them. The answer is no. Again. But, my mom said she’d actually pay for plastic surgery to get it removed if it would prevent me from getting a tattoo. But, under one condition and that being I have to be 18. I said no, it would have to be when im 16 (legal with parental consent) or else im getting the tattoo at 18 because it’s easier in terms of recovery and of course safer. She was pissed that im being ungrateful. But, whats the point of getting plastic surgery when I can just have a cover up tattoo?
So, I lost my shit basically yelling “it been three years of me asking? Why won’t you support my decision because im not changing my mind and im getting it when im 18 if not plastic surgery at 16. Its my body.” etc. etc.
AITA? ###### | NTA.
However, be warned, if you're gonna get a tattoo on scarred tissue it can hurt a bit more than usual and also sometimes the ink doesn't take very well. It'll be a good idea for you to search for a tattoo artist that has experience with surgical scars + it's probably cheaper than plastic surgery. ###### |
I feel like a dick so that's why im asking the impartial internet.
So my boyfriend and I (F17 and M16) fall asleep on the phone every night. I work mornings most of the time so I go to bed relatively early while he stays up all night and sleeps through the day. I tend to go to bed around 10:30pm or so, but I normally call him about 45 minutes before I go to bed so we can talk.
The problem is, we don't talk. He's always playing Warzone with his friends and I've gotten yelled at if I unmute to tell him I love him. I always get a hurried " Love you too, not now Potato" which he only ever calls me in front of his friends.
I always end up staying up later then I should so we can talk for a little bit and say goodnight. Right now its almost 12am and I have to get up at 8am.
When I brought up how I feel ignored when we call he just says that the only time he can play with his friends is 9pm-11pm because one of them has to work all day.
I don't want to be controlling or make him feel bad for enjoying himself but I do feel like it doesn't make sense to be on a call if we're not talking.
AITA? ###### | NTA.
Honestly, I think his behavior makes sense.
There's nothing more romantic in my eyes than playing the latest computer games while ignoring my girlfriend.
Talking or interacting with her at all, of course, is entirely un-romantic as it distracts from my very romantic video game.
I see his predicament, though. You tend to go to bed around 10:30PM.
He can only play with his friends between 9-11 because one of them has to work all day.
Obviously, you're not taking into account his poor friend whose schedule your lives must all revolve around.
I think the biggest issue here that you're not really being fair about is that if he doesn't play with his friends for a single night he'll die almost immediately.
If you want him to live then there's absolutely no way he can ever compromise at all. ###### |
Bg: I'm 17 years old. I live with my mom and dad but for the past few months, my sister's 3 kids have been living with us. They have no manners, are disrespectful, and are destructive. For example, they scribbled over my expensive drawing tablet (their mom blamed me), ripped up the dining room chairs, and threw things at my parents along with saying I'm Satan (which was funny but still). I will be only mentioning 2 of them (P:6; R:4) as the other is a baby. I watch them from morning to 4 PM as my parents work. I hate kids btw. My parents always threatened them with punishment but never follow through. They yell at me when I try to enforce rules. Their mom decided to move to a far away state and rarely calls. My parents let her do whatever because it's for the kids. They stopped parenting me when P was born. Note: they aren't like this because they miss their parents. The parents let the walk over them and trashed our house before.
So both decided to tear up the toilet paper and throw it in the trash. Big. Problem. My mom told them they had to use the trashed paper. Then she left all the fresh toilet paper in reach even after they told her they weren't using it. So I took all the toilet paper and put it on the high shelf (Possible Asshole Move 1). We finally got the baby down to sleep. They decided to play roughly and loudly after I warned them 5 times. I told them the next time I came out of my room one of them would go take a nap. R kicked P so I sent him to their room. He proceeded to kick stuff and throw himself down knowing the baby was asleep in the room next to him. After a few more minutes of that and warnings, I sent him downstairs, which is a mini basement with a washer, dryer, some baskets, etc. (PAM 2). AITA for this? I'm just sick of having to take care of them all the time.
I do feel guilty because everyone around me is getting on me like I'm supposed to be the perfect mom and the kids started crying. ###### | NTA.
Honestly what are you supposed to do? Let the kids trash the house since they never get disciplined? I feel like it was good that you warned them that there was going to be a punishment and you followed through with it. Children need to understand that their actions can have consequences. It's not like you spanked them or anything. You gave him a *much needed* time out. ###### |
Post ahead so get in.
Backstory: I am the oldest out of 5 and have graduated high school and moved from my state to go to college. My family is no strangers to drug and alcohol use, one of the family members was selling drugs for a long time but got arrested for getting caught. My parents were drug addicts and my father is an alcoholic.
Now i dont use drugs or drink [I'm 19] and I'm very proud of that life. I dont care for alcohol and I've tried to smoke weed but didnt like the side effects. However who I am concerned about is my little sister [L for the sake of the story]
L is 15 years old and lives with my grandparents. She has been smoking weed since she was 13, and has started to drink not soon after. She posts constantly on social media with her smoking out of her bong, drinking vodka, and posts like "I miss the homies and the drugs". She talks to me about it nonchalant, and I can't help but worry a bit.
I've brought it up to my parents and they arent doing anything, and I also mentioned it to my Grandparents [her legal guardians] my concerns. My grandparents arent the best people but they just dont seem to care and say "Its her life, let her do what she pleases" and usually they tell L that I mentioned telling them and she blows up, sending vulgar texts and telling me to "Stay in my lane"
She recently had posted that she was going to try Acid and I am contemplating her texts reporting it to Child Services, as this is child neglect in my mind and I dont want her to slowly drift towards other drugs.
Edit:I have been expressing my concerns for her numerous times and I have been explaining how this can affect her brain and shes like "You cant tell me what to do." I've tried to talk to her. I've tried to voice concern with the family, and they don't budge.
Reddit, would I be the Asshole? ###### | NTA.
Honestly I would say you are obligated to report this to CPS. Her brain is still developing and heavy drug use has severe effects on it. ###### |
So basically what happened is that last night I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone in a discord call and then he started cuddling his dog, which he's had for a long time. I don't hate his dog or anything and I understand he loves his dog and I'm completely okay with that. But then I was talking to him and he ignored me and was talking to his dog and said "I love you more than *insert my name here*.
I never had a dog, so I can't say that I understand the strong love between a human and an animal, especially one he's had since he was a kid and that his dog is important to him. But since he was already ignoring me it just annoyed me and was uncalled for because there's a lot of times I feel like he doesn't love me at all. He just told me not to leave the call but I left anyway.
about two hours later I call him back and he asks why I left because he didn't remember and I told him. He thought I was being ridiculous because it was just a joke. But he sounded serious and just told me not to leave which tells me he knew exactly what he said would upset me. He then told his mom about how I was upset and she agreed that I was being stupid about getting jealous over a dog and was just being insecure, which honestly embarrassed me. My boyfriend then started calling me crazy, so I left the call again and he texted me saying "there you go being crazy again.
Was I in the wrong here? I feel stupid about it after I got some sleep but I just want to know if I was being an asshole. ###### | NTA.
Here's the thing. It isn't even about the dog at this point.....it's about the fact that he's not considerate of your feelings. Calling you crazy? Bringing his mom in for back-up?
In my opinion, you were being a little insecure, but there's no reason for him to be an ass about it. He should have just apologized for ignoring you, reiterated his love for you and his dog and then moved on. ###### |
My eldest daughter is in her 20s with two kids. She lives about an hour away. I still have 3 kids at home, work a full time job, etc. I do see her and my grandkids (or did before the whole world shut down) but it’s not often. Before the shut down, my daughter and I got into a fight and we’re still at a loss.
Like I said, I have 3 kids at home and work. I know my daughter is stressed and I do talk to her often. If she asks me to take my grandkids and I can, I will. However, I rarely offer because I rarely have the time or the energy to offer. This became a huge issue. My daughter recently told me that I should offer to watch her kids more and she shouldn’t have to ask. She says that she’s tired of her kids seeming like burdens. I said they’re not, but I don’t have time to watch them often. She said “You’re they’re grandma, you should want to.” I said “Maybe before you had two kids, you should’ve thought about childcare.” She got really mad and our communication since has been spotty at best.
I standby that while I love my grandkids, I shouldn’t feel guilty that I can’t and don’t want to watch them in all my spare time. She says I should. Am I the asshole here? ###### | NTA.
Hell, I lived 2 miles from my parents and I was the youngest (so they were empty nesters). Wanna know how many times they watched my kids? ONCE.
We didn't ask them if it was OK for us to have kids. Thus, childcare is OUR responsibility. Period. ###### |
My BF (30) and I (26) work in the IT industry. I work overseas (Germany) so we were in a long distance relationship for a while. We were living together so when I left the country, our place was left under his name. I send him money to pay half of the bills and everything was fine.
First quarter of 2019, his mom died and a month after that, his grandpa whom he's really close with. To make matters worse, the company he works for really sucks and his boss was a dick. He was so stressed out, he would rant about it everyday. Our video chats start and end with his rants. I told him to take a break if he wants to, since my paycheck was enough to cover both our bills. I asked him if he wanted to come and live with me in Germany, and eventually look for a job here. He agreed and he stayed at my place, with me paying ALL of the bills.
Last quarter of 2019, I got sick and was forced to resign. I promised myself I'll look for a new job once I'm well. We started living off my savings. After taking a break for 3 months, I decided to look for a new job but then the coronavirus outbreak came.
I told him to look for a job, but he says he's not ready yet. I just said okay. It's actually fine with me if I'm the one working but what I hate about him is he NAGS me every damn day if there's an update regarding my job application. I snapped and told him that he should look for a job himself. He got mad and told me I was the one who asked him to quit anyway, saying it's my fault that he's now jobless. ###### | NTA.
He’s a grown man, he really shouldn’t nag at you cause of a job application when he can, infact look for a job himself ###### |
This guy I worked with asked for a ride home after our shift, we both live in the same town, so I said sure. He said after work he had to get somethings at a store close by.
work ends we get in my car and I needed to stop for gas. I get to the gas station and fill my tank, I paid by CC at the pump. After I am done filling my tank I hit the yes button for a receipt and the machine says must go inside for one. I go inside and get my receipt.
I get back in the car and I drive to the store, when I get to the store the co-worker gets out and says he will be a few minutes. After a few minutes of waiting I notice my cup holder of loose changes is empty. I am pissed and think who does he think he is to steal from me after I was doing him a favor. I think screw him, he can find his own way home and I drive off.
Next day at work he confronts me and calls me an asshole for ditching him like that cause he had to wait five hours to get picked up. I say to him, hope the five hour wait was worth the three dollars in change he stole from me.
He ends up telling all our co-workers I ditched him for stealing three dollars from me. The co-workers all gave me crap for it so I ended up quitting the job a week later.
I really don't think I did anything wrong. ###### | NTA.
He stole money from you while you were doing a favor for him. Yeah it may have been only $3 but he stole from you while you were doing something nice for him. ###### |
I actually met Dani all the way back in 2008 and I must admit I had a big crush on him. We were kids so what ever. I moved then I went back to home town to visit people and met Dani. We began to talk and strung up a relationship. It was nothing serious. He would come visit me and we would spent weeks together.
I also know the sister pretty well since she was also there in 2008. But she has a strained relationship with Dani. I like her because she is funny and we have had a consistent friendship since 2008.
So one day we went to eat something all together and his sister later pulled me aside and told me she found out that Dani had a girlfriend. He hadn't told his sister or me. Of course I was enraged and ended things with Dani then and there and spent the rest of my time there with his sister. And I kept being her friend. That all happened on 2017. He is now married to his girlfriend. Apparently Dani had a falling out with one of his old friends who told his now wife about him cheating on her with me. She texted me to know if it was true and I said yes. She was very hurt and asked me if we have seen each other since. I said no truthfully. She asked me why I am friends with his sister then. I told her because I like her. She started berating me. Later that night Dani texted me, apologized but asked if I could keep away from his sister. I said no. It has nothing to do with him. Her and I are just very good friends and we both talk more that his sister and him in a year. We spent Christmas and new years together. He accused me of keeping her in my life to keep tabs on him. Seriously? I don't care about him. I am happily in a relationship and his sister and I never talk about him.
Still some fríe ds say that they understand his pov. I don't see it. AITA? ###### | NTA.
He should have no say in who his sister is friends with.
It was a long time ago and he’s the one who cheated - you did the right thing when you found out. ###### |
Two days ago my(22F) dad (52) accidentally found out that I‘m gay. I was listening to music and was on Tinder and didn’t notice that he was in the room. He came up behind me and saw what I was doing. There was no point in denying it (he knows how the app works) and I thought that this might be the time to finally get the truth out.
Judging by the title you can already guess that it didn’t go well. He started yelling that I was throwing my life away, how disgusting same-sex relationships are and the list goes on. He didn’t let me explain myself at all and left me crying in the room but not before calling me a waste of space. That hurt so much I can‘t even explain it. He had made a few homophobic comments before and I wasn’t sure how he would take my coming out. But I guess I’ve always thought he would be somewhat supportive of his own daughter. I called a friend who picked me up that night and she lets me stay at her place for as long as I need. He reached out yesterday and said he wanted to talk and apologized saying he said all that on the spur of the moment. I haven’t answered yet and don’t really feel like talking. My friends say I don’t owe him anything but he‘s practically all the family I have left and maybe he will come around. ###### | NTA.
He said some pretty horrible things to you. Take as much time as you need to think it through. There's no reason to rush. If you're not ready, you're not ready. Maybe he does want to sincerely apologize, but that doesn't mean you have to hear him out just yet. Take care of yourself first. ###### |
We were getting ready to park inside of the private lot when all of a sudden my friend starts throwing up. For some reason he decided to throw up first and then open the door instead of just telling me to stop and him getting out to throw up. I think he threw up because he was drinking heavily before I picked him up and motion sickness may have gotten to him. As soon as I started seeing throw up all over my car door on the inside I told him to get out. He wouldn't get out and I asked him at least over five times. I had a feeling he wasn't going to get out so I decided to park and go to his side of the door so I can start cleaning up the mess. I couldn't fully clean his side of the car because he was still sitting inside so I asked him to get out at least 10 more times. All of a sudden he looks at me and tells me that "I'm a fucking asshole for talking to someone like that". He then got out of the car and while I was cleaning my door he tells me that "I am going to knock you the fuck out and I promise you that you won't get back up". At that point I walk over to the driver side of the door to get my keys out and other important things in-case shit hits the fan and out of anger he slams his fast on the roof of my car causing it to dent. For privacy reasons I will not say the exact number but I have gotten a quote from 3 separate body shops that are all over 1000$. Due to this high number I have decided to take him to civil court. He and several others of my friends are calling me a asshole and saying that I should have just let it go. Of course I can't just let it go because I am making payments on this car and it is close to a 2020 version so when I go to trade it in later in life it'll really fuck me. So reddit... Am I the asshole or am I right? ###### | NTA.
He intentionally damaged your property because you asked him NOT TO RUIN HIS ENTIRE SIDE OF THE INTERIOR OF YOUR CAR by getting out. What he did to your car was uncalled for, drunk or not. I mean I would have guessed he'd see the error of his ways when he sobered up, but apparently he has decided to run with it, and that's despicable.
He's a grown adult allowed to drink, so the has to take grown adult responsibility as well.
As a good friend he'd realise that he fucked up, caused you LOTS of costs and would at least TRY to work out something with you. You can talk shit out as friends, maybe reach a compromise or something, but he's not having any of it it seems...
Take that "friend" to court if he keeps ignoring you.
Friends like that aren't worth keeping anyway. ###### |
AITA?
So first some background... I’m a short woman (5’2” ish) and my husband is pretty tall (about 6’3”) so when we go out together he usually asks me to wear heels which I don’t really mind depending on where we are going/ what we are doing.
So anyway, one day we are going to the mall and it’s early fall so I put on my only pair of ankle boots with a heel and off we go. My husband and I are chatting in the car and everything is fine and then we reach the mall. My husband has parked the car and we get out and make our way inside the mall. We’re walking through the first store when I see my husband’s whole demeanour change and as I’m trying to talk to him he is obviously not in a good mood. So of course I ask him what’s wrong and he snaps at me that my boots are “making too much noise when I walk”. I kinda laugh this off and jokingly ask if he’d prefer me to walk around bare foot to which he says I should go back to the car and change into the Wellington boots that I keep in the trunk. He’s actually serious but the boots are filthy, caked in mud and it’s just not something I really want to do. So I explain that I wouldn’t be comfortable doing that and I don’t think it’s appropriate to wear dirty boots around the mall and he is really mad. He makes us leave before we’ve even done any of the shopping that we went there for and proceeds to use the entire journey home to make me feel terrible for not changing the boots. AITA for not just changing them? He won’t explain why it was such an issue but it obviously upset him so maybe I was in the wrong? ###### | NTA.
He expects you to wear heels because of your height difference.
He doesn’t want people looking at you together in public.
He had a tantrum and berated you for not changing into shoes that weren’t appropriate for the venue.
You’re his wife, not a purse. He’s due for a serious adjustment in his perspective and attitude. ###### |
My daughter’s college completely refunded this quarter’s pay. She came back home because they couldn’t keep dorms up. I got a cashier’s check of $14,937 from the college. I was honestly surprised that they refunded it.
When I told my family, my daughter complained and said that it was her money. I completely disagreed. I paid for her college, she just worked to save up money and for rent. This 15k was entirely for the family, not just for her.
She argued that paying for college was a gift, and this was akin to refunding a gift. I again completely disagree. The money was entitled to me, not her. Therefore it’s my money. While I’m not going to use the money solely for myself, I’m going to put it into a savings account for my other kid.
So, AITA? ###### | NTA.
Had a similar situation as an undergraduate and my parents got the money back. They used it on my tuition the following term.
You paid for a service she was using. The service refunded YOU not her.
Edit; you say she was paying rent. Is this a rent refund for the dorms as well or just tuition? ###### |
So I'm from a traditional Indian family in England, my parents compare me to \*everyone\*, from my sister to the neighbour's kid etc. My sister is 5 years older than me \[26F\] and has been working for 2 years after graduating from a fairly prestigious university but earns the usual 2 years into your career wage (£35k, $43k).
My parents always pitted me against my sister and that really fucked with our relationship, this means that my sister is insecure about her wage and is trying her best (we both have mental health issues from my parents' abusive parenting, see my post history for more info), she's had a lot to deal with.
This year I worked really hard and got myself into a hedge fund for a grad job. This place will pay me over double what my sister earns; I'm not going to act like I'm not happy about this but I know that hurts my sister (she still wants the best for me, but it does hurt and I don't blame her for it).
And I know that my parents finding out my wage will make them cocky, show off my wage, and put ridiculous amounts of pressure on my sister. My dad is also insecure about his role as the caregiver to the family since my sister already earns more than he does.
Because of all this, I'm choosing not to tell my parents (and possibly even my sister (though she can guess how much I earn from the company I work for)) my wage, I'm already moving out so I'm fully independent of them and have no obligation and the way they act (even though I mentioned to them that comparing kids is reprehensible) I think justifies it. However this is really uncommon in our culture, I'm already forcing through my independence by moving out (without their consent) and now to not tell them my wage will really damage my relationship with them.
AITA for putting my parents at arm's length, damaging the relationship further since I'm already forcing through my moveout, by not telling them my salary? ###### | NTA.
Good on you for taking the option that's better for your sister's mental health. You have no obligation to tell them anything, and it sounds like you're better off leaving. I hope your sister has left too. ###### |
I will try to not make this too long, also on mobile, blah blah blah.
So yesterday I(13) was making some ballon dinosaurs and I was using scissors to cut the paper, stupidly I left them out last night and went to bed. I am woken up by my step dad throwing open my door and yelling about how I left the scissors out. My first thought was instantly ‘someone is seriously hurt’, but he continues to say “Your sister just cut off all her hair”. He continues to say that I’m and idiot and I am so stupid, I was in shock (kind of) so I don’t recall what he said word for word. He also said “How do you like to be woken up by being called an idiot or stupid” or something like that. I barley got out a word and the he slammed my door so hard my shelf shook.
I have not left my room as of me typing this but she’s a three year old how could she have cut off all of her hair? And how did she? Yes with scissors, but shouldn’t he be watching his kids?
TL;DR: I left some scissors on the kitchen table, my sister got them, cut off “all of her hair” and my step-dad told me by yelling at me and name calling.
So reddit AITA for leaving the scissors out?
Also I might get in serious trouble and can’t get to my phone or laptop meaning I might not reply to comments later today. ###### | NTA.
Gonna be honest, your stepdads reactions seems borderline abusive. However, you should pack away scissors when you’re done with them. But a single, typically harmless mistake doesn’t necessitate that sort of reaction. ###### |
I am an atheist and my last roommate was a devout muslim. She used to be very regular with her prayers and practices and was a pleasant person to be around overall. I never interfered with her religious beliefs, and in fact, used to co-operate with her to assist her with it, eg I took down the poster of an actor near my table, since she said she couldn’t have that in the direction and same room she prayed, fasting along with her (i just did it for health reasons/fun), going with her to festival celebration events etc.
Things were fine for a while, but few months she started to berate my lifestyle as an atheist and started saying how much more meaningful life as a religious person is. May be she misunderstood my involvement with her to my interest in her religion, but she seemed to always bring the conversation to why being religious, and particularly muslim is the right way of life. Eg, getting upset if I drink, or commenting on how my dress one time was too short, or how ‘good and virtuous women’ should be covered up, or how I’m stupid to be an atheist. I guess she said all of that frankly when we were better friends. She made me grudgingly watch the movie ‘the message’ and I sat through it, and tried to ‘preach’ how good it was. Basically this preaching became a regular thing, even though I never has asked for it.
So one time when I got fed up of the religion talks, I told her off saying “ I don’t care about your religion and what it stands for, I chose to be an atheist and I don’t want you to tell how good your religion is because frankly I think all religions are baseless and so is yours. So please back off”. She seems to think my anger was misplaced and comments on her religion was uncalled for.
Since then she moved out after a few cold days, and has been telling people that I’m islamophobic. AITA? ###### | NTA.
Fun fact about religion, or not having one - some people are only ok with it as long as you fit in theirs completely. If not, then that's when the peer pressure conversion is attempted. That's on them. It's possible to be religious AND impartial.
I feel like your burst was fair, although cold. It's important to make sure this person knows your boundaries, and you theirs. It sounds like you listened to them and respected them, now it's time for the reverse.
If I were you, moving forward with this friendship, I'd make very clear lines - "I will do X, you mist respect Y. I will not convert, but I will listen and I will respect as long as you do not ridicule me." ###### |
I know, this title is ridiculous. How on earth could I be an asshole when seeking medical attention? I’m not sure but my coworker seems to think I’m the world’s biggest asshole.
So around 11pm yesterday I started having trouble breathing, I chalked it up to asthma. Well I then got sick to my stomach. At 7am I called the Covid screening and they sent me over to healthlinks and they sent me to the ER. By this point I could barely speak.
I contacted my bosses and hr to let them know what’s up as I had a 10:00 shift. I had messaged everyone around 8:30am what was up.
It took three hours before I could breath on my own. I see I have a Snapchat from a coworker I used to consider a friend. I opened it and it was a wall of text about how selfish I am for not showing up and how all I do is sit at the desk (that’s my job)
What’s important to know is that I was off work from February until June 1st because of health issues and I’ve only been back working for a week.
I tried to explain the situation not that it was any of her business and she went off more, I won’t repeat what was said because character limit. But I sent screenshots to HR because they were nasty texts.
I could see why she’d be upset if I was home with the sniffles, but I couldn’t breath, I was throwing up, those are corona symptoms and I would have been sent home anyway even if I did show up. ###### | NTA.
Fuck, what is wrong with your colleague, you were sick you couldn't breathe.
You were right to go the ER.
Edit: correction of a word ###### |
My sister just had a baby and he’s a couple months old, kinda in that ugly chicken phase. She has been trying for a baby for over 10 years and I’m super proud of her because I know she was hurting with infertility etc.
She co-owns a successful business w/ my parents and it’s her job to post pictures on their website of the products.
For the sake of argument, let’s say they handmake leather goods like wallets and purses. Nothing to do with kids. She will post photos of my nephew either on the goods partially obscuring the items or with items on top of him. She jumped straight back into work and uses my nephew as props.
Business has taken a noticeable dive and people keep emailing the store to ask if they can get clearer pictures etc.
Recently someone left a bad review AFTER purchasing items saying ‘I came here to buy x, not look at someone’s baby’. My sister took it the wrong way and actually blacklisted the customer and also sent a strongly worded email to them saying they’re a family business and how dare they critizise her and no one knows what she’s been through.
My parents actually had to reach out to that customer and offered to fully refund them. I gently said to my sister (I was in the room when my parents were refunding over $200 worth of leather goods) that maybe she should keep work and family separate.
She started screaming at my that I’m a stupid kid and. I don’t know what I’m talking about (I’m 17, shes 30+, i was a total surprise baby...) and that I’m evil and dumb etc. My parents asked me to apologize to her which I don’t think I should do. ###### | NTA.
Frankly, your sister is acting very unprofessional and hurting the business.
I could at least in some capacity understand her using her baby as a "model" if they were promoting baby related items (clothes, bedding, furniture, etc), but a baby has no place in product pictures of items that are not baby related. ###### |
I just gave birth to my daughter. Of course my MIL is crazy over the top, over the moon. She wants to come over all the time to see the baby. I’m ok with that. I really am. I can use some company and advise. My only request is that she please call me first ahead of time. Call me so I can change out of my sloppy baby puked on clothes or put the dogs in another room so they don’t overwhelm her or just for the simple fact that I am not a big fan of surprises. Anyway instead of respecting my wishes she tells the entire family that I’m a snob who doesn’t want her to visit even though I explained she’s always welcome and I would never say no just please call me ahead of time. Now I’m getting snarky remarks from family members. Am I being unreasonable? ###### | NTA.
For some advice r/JustNoMil
Your request is reasonable, you want to look better then your worst when she visits. Make it a thing, that if she doesn't call ahead, she isn't coming in. ###### |
(I'm not a story teller like some here, so sorry if this is disorganized or boring.)
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Hello Reddit. Tomorrow is my (f/28) birthday. I wasn't planning on doing anything this year because it's my first sober birthday (I quit drinking 9 months ago) and I try to avoid parties since everyone usually drinks at them.
Last week I was asked by friend A (f/31) if I'd like to go for a small dinner and I said yes. A asked where I wanted to go and I suggested somewhere that serves hot pot. I have never tried it and figured my birthday dinner would be a good time.
A came back to me the next day and said we can't do hot pot because friend B (f/30) doesn't like Korean food.
"Uhmm, okay how about sushi?"
Well you guessed it, now friend C (f/34) doesn't like sushi.
This has evolved in to me trying to find a place everyone will enjoy and wanting to cancel the whole thing because all it has done is stressed me out and made me feel bad for not knowing who doesn't like what. I told A this, and she said it would be an asshole move because everyone is getting together for me.
Today B pushed for us to go to a pub, and everyone immediately was in agreeance.
I snapped a bit. I told the group that I refuse to let my birthday be an excuse for them to get drunk at a bar. If this dinner really was *for me* they'd have been fine with my original suggestion and if they can't support my sobriety then they aren't friends at all.
I am currently getting text messages saying I flew off the handle, that I need to grow up and not be such an asshole when they were just trying to do a nice thing for me. C even said that they shouldn't be punished because I can't handle my liquor.
So yeah, dinner is cancelled and so are those friendships. Now that I've cooled down a bit though, I am wondering if I was being an asshole...
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Edit: Post has been live less than 10 minutes and you guys have already shown me I made the right call. Thank you so much. ###### | NTA.
First, your birthday your rules.
Secondly you're freshly sober, avoiding temptation is a smart move.
If your friends can't accept or understand that, you can question their motivations and canceling the birthday party for your own health is the right move. ###### |
My bf of 2 years went on a camping trip right before all the lockdowns and quarantine measures started. He went with 2 girls from his college outdoorsy club that he doesn't know very well and who I've never met. I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't super thrilled about that, but I didn't say anything cause I know that was just my own insecurities getting to me.
On the trip, we didn't talk much but he did call me once and told me the trip was going well. He came back from the trip, said it was fun and they just hiked and fished and stuff, and I was glad he had a good time. Yesterday we were cleaning the apartment and reorganizing and I pulled his sleeping bag from a closet and noticed there was a small rip in it. A hole maybe like 2 or 3 inches across. I asked if he wanted me to try to fix it. He kinda dismissively said "oh I'll just buy another, I didn't even use it on the trip" and so I asked, "then how did you sleep?"
He looked like a deer caught in headlights and tried to backtrack, but then eventually admitted he ended up sharing a bag with one of the other girls. Not one of those fancy double bags either, just a regular one. I'm pretty pissed because he got mad at me for sharing a king bed with my gay male friend once, which I apologized for and we agreed that bedsharing was a boundary for us. We live in a warm area and it wasn't cold the weekend he went, certainly not cold enough to necessitate sharing a bag for "body heat" like he says. If his bag was completely destroyed I would've understood, but imo it was still usable and NOT bad enough to break a boundary we had established. And then he lied about it and hid it from me. Am I overreacting? He says nothing happened and I guess I believe him but I still feel like he broke my trust somehow. Or is this not a big deal? Is this normal for camping? AITA for being angry with him? ###### | NTA.
Even if nothing happened, the two of you *already established that sharing beds was a boundary*. Not only did he willingly, and unnecessarily break that boundary, he lied to you about it. Or at least, tactfully decided not to mention it, so lying by omission.
I’d be so fucking pissed. A small hole in a sleeping bag DOES NOT warrant jumping into a bag with another person. Like you said, especially considering it wasn’t freezing conditions. Put on some damn socks and sleep in your own sleeping bag.
Also, why tf is he going camping with girls you say yourself he hardly even knows? ###### |
So this happened couple of weeks ago but my sister is still bothering me about it. Also English is not my first language. TLDR at the bottom.
So I (f27) and my boyfriend (m30) are childfree by choice. My sister (f25) is pregnant for the first time and had a baby shower a few weeks ago. It was a small gathering of about 10 people.
At the baby shower there was my sister's friend and coworker, we'll call her Elle. I don't really know her, but we're on a friendly level.
The whole time Elle was making comments regarding me not having children. She doesn't know I'm childfree. Things like "Oh OP you're gonna have to catch up to Maria's speed, she's younger and already preggy!" (Maria meaning my sister), or "When is the baby gonna have a little cousin?" And stuff like that, and it really annoyed me, but I didn't wanna make a big deal about it.
At one point Elle and I were in the kitchen, just the two of us and she said "You're almost 30 right? The next baby shower must be yours haha" I smiled a little awkwardly and said "I'm not having children." She said "Well when you change your mind."
This annoyed me so much I decided to say "I'm actually infertile." Just in hopes that it would teach her not to make comments like that to childless people.
My sister overheard and didn't say anything, but after the party she confronted me. She said she fully supports me being childfree, but that I shouldn't have lied. I know it's not good to lie, but I'm just really sick and tired of the remarks childfree people like me get all the time.
Am I the Asshole for lying like that to teach her to be quiet about things like that?
TLDR: My sister's friend keeps making comments about me not having kids, so I tell her that I'm infertile, even though I'm not, so she would stop making those remarks. ###### | NTA.
Elle had *no* business bringing up you being child free.
Also maybe it teaches her that those kind of comments can really hurt someone who isn't child free by choice. ###### |
Hi reddit community. I wanted to ask for advice. The story begins on 2015 when my father passed away and me and my fathers family got into a legal argument over the inheritence that my father left me. In conclusion I got the inharintence even though I didn't want it and my fathers family cut all contact with me. I thought everything was over, but just a month ago my grandmother called to ask me how I'm doing and so on... In the end of the conversation she mentioned that her sister that's just over 74 years old has just been diagnoses with kidney failure and asked me to donate it, but I refused because I understood that it was the only reason she called, she got angry and told me that I'm not worth anything and that if I donated my kidney at least I would do something good with my life(I'm 21 now). Now over the course of the month I have been verbally abused by my grandmother and her sister, they spread all sorts of rumors about me that really aren't true... And honestly I'm at my breaking point and I just don't know what to do. Am I the asshole for not donating my kidney? Sorry fo the long post, I just needed to get this off my chest. ###### | NTA.
Donating an organ is a serious thing and you have every right to decline doing so for whatever reason.
But especially in this case.
You aren't an organ factory. ###### |
I have a medically fragile kid (genetic condition/feeding tube/just home after 2+ months in the hospital). Our neighbors know all of this. They have always just let their 8 year old walk into our driveway and yard without permission. I asked them nicely via Facebook yesterday if they could keep him out of our space and my son and my medically fragile child deserve to be able to safely go out in our front yard. She told me I was being completely unreasonable and because our houses are fairly close together, it is silly for me to expect her son to not walk through our yard. ###### | NTA.
Currently dealing with this. I'm very very pregnant, my daughter has breathing issues, mom is here staying with us to keep us fed, and our houses are basically on top of each other.
My daughter is 4. My neighbour's son, her best buddy, is 4. They understand enough that they cannot leave our driveways, they can wave at each other, say hi, but cannot play. They gave started playing from ten feet apart, just waving and screaming at each other. 4, and they get it.
NTA, and I'm getting really fucking tired of entitled parents. ###### |
My wife and I had a private gym in our house with a bunch of different type of gym equipment.
Back in November a gym opened up a block from our house, so we each got gym memberships and decided to get rid of our personal gym equipment so we could use the room for something else.
I tried selling it all, but couldn’t get anyone to buy the elliptical, the bowflex, weight set, and our various smaller gym equipment. I offered them to friends and family for free and my sister said she would be interested.
But she didn’t have space for them at the time and said she and her husband would make room for them and pick them up. I called her three times in December about them after that she always said she still hasn’t gotten around to making room for them. After that I stopped calling her about them because it didn’t seem like she really wanted them and they had just been sitting forgotten in a corner of the garage since.
Until a month ago when our gym closed. My wife and I decided to pull them out of the garage to use them again. They’ve really helped us from getting stir crazy.
My sister called on Tuesday to ask if her husband and son could come pick them up that day.
I told her how my wife and I are actually using them now that our gym is closed so we wouldn’t be giving them away anymore.
She asks if I’m kidding because they just spent all yesterday clearing out space for them.
When I say I’m not. My sister sort of raises her voice and says how I said she could have that equipment and that it was hers. How her gym is closed and they all don’t have anyway to exercise. Then she brings up how my nephew needs it because he needs to stay in shape for school (he’s on an athletic scholarship).
I get a call from dad later saying and he agrees with my sister and says considering my nephew they really need the equipment more than we do. ###### | NTA.
Convenient how she suddenly decided to make room for the weights when it suited her. She never answered any of your calls and wasn't interested in picking them up until it suited her. The offer was made **months** ago. If she didn't pick it up in December, that's her problem. It's too late.
She should respect the fact that you and your wife need it during this quarantine, given that you purchased the damn thing. It doesn't matter if your nephew is on an athletic scholarship. he can find other ways to workout. E.g. bodyweight/resistance band exercises. ###### |
I (M34) bought my boyfriend (M32) a 2018 Macbook Air on sale a few months ago because he needed a new computer. It did not come with a warranty. Two days ago, he got annoyed at me that I asked him to come to bed (it was 2am), slammed the laptop shut and came.
Then, he discovered the next day that his slamming the laptop shut broke the screen. He started demanding that I pay for it because "I provoked him" and because I was so stupid to buy a laptop without a warranty. I told him he should learn not to have temper tantrums.
He has a stable, salaried job. I understand that he doesn't want to pay to fix it, but I don't see how this is my problem. ###### | NTA.
Classic manipulative behavior. "Look what you made me do."
I'd watch out that he doesn't continue to blame you for his behavior. ###### |
TL;DR is the title, throwaway account, English is not my main language, blablabla
So I (17M) begged my parents (mid 50s) for a Netflix account for YEARS before i gave up, and just bought my own account. I have the cheapest plan possible, so about 10$ a month (i think) and it's costing me literally half my pocket money.
About two month ago, I gave my mom my Netflix, as a way to convince her that it was worth paying for a family account. Needless to say, they weren't convinced. Recently however, my dad, who was the most against me having netflix in the first place (he thinks it's way too addictive) started a show with my mom. They've been watching it everyday for a week now, and today I had to boot a friend out of the account, while he almost never watches anything. They jokingly threatened to cut my pocket money if I didn't boot him, so I gave in.
Right now, they are watching their show, and I know that they only have two episodes left, so I was thinking of booting them out, and not allowing them back in until they pay for half the account. I have no idea if it'll work, but WIBTA ?
Update :I have decided that I will not do it, as I think only negative consequences could arise from this. They're also probably too stubborn to buy it anyway, so I'll play the long game and try to convince them slowly. Thanks for everyone's input, even those who said I was TA :) ###### | NTA.
But this is going to backfire big time.
If you're paying for this with allowance, allowance they give you. They'll just take your allowance away. Then make their own account if they're so inclined and not give you the password.
Don't bite the hand that feeds. ###### |
Throwaway, mobile, all that jazz.
Tonight I was a Suspicious Sally and checked my husband's text messages from his smart watch. I see a series of messages to an unsaved number and while they're not explicit they essentially allude to wanting to meet up again. The weird thing is that it only displayed one side of the conversation, the responses from my husband's phone.
I confronted him and he insisted that he didn't know what I was talking about. I get his watch and show him. He shows me his phone and says they aren't in there so he's not sure why they're on his watch.
I pulled up our text history from our phone carrier and it very clearly shows sent and received messages from that number today. I searched the past 90 days (as far back as it goes) and there weren't any other matches (just today).
Then I Googled the number and it shows that it belongs to an escort. He says that proves that he's innocent because how could he get away with paying for it? And as for an affair, when would he have time. I manage the money and watch it like a hawk so I definitely would notice it. But he could certainly have credit that I'm not aware of.
He hasn't been defensive, just confused and agrees that it's fucked up and he'd be pissed if reversed.
So Reddit, AITA for not believing him/being suspicious? ###### | NTA.
But let's be honest. You seem to have all the information you need in this situation.
I'm sorry, and it sucks. I hope you can figure out where to go from here. ###### |
I'm a 29 year old mother of a 6 year old son. He had been just the normal kid growing up, curious and enthusiastic as ever. Lately I have noticed him roleplaying feminine characters while playing, favoring more feminine attitudes and toys/games. That was completely fine by me and his father and we never discouraged it.
However three days ago I was online clothes shopping and thought it would be a fun idea to include my son and help me choose and pick colors/styles for mine and his clothes. He was very happy to do so and helped me choose my clothes. When we were looking through the kids section of the online store, he showed interest in both boy-ish and girl-ish styles so I thought it would be a good idea to encourage him to pick whatever he wants. He picked 3 t-shirts and one dress and I had them all ordered. I didn't explain to him that dresses are for girls and didn't act as if him picking a dress was weird, I just wanted t get him what he wants.
Later that day I was talking to my husband and mentioned the incident to him, he got absolutely furious. He told me I'm encouraging a little boy to be insecure of his identity and "masculinity". I told him that was ridiculous and that our son doesn't even understand what masculinity is, he's just a kid and he has no clear "identity" yet. He got mad and has been acting weird to me since, as if I'm a danger to our son. Should I have explained to my son that dresses are for girls and that he's a boy?
TL;Dr: bought a dress for my son like he wanted and my husband got mad at me for not explaining to him that it's for girls. AITA? ###### | Nta.
But as a lot of other comments are pointing out that kids are mean, I think you should have an age appropriate talk with him. Something along the lines of "you are allowed to wear whatever you want and I'll be there supporting you, but there are bad people out there that might make doing what you want difficult." Or something along those lines.
But props for letting him be himself and showing an acceptable household, that will probably lead to more openness from him to you. ###### |
I can't even believe I'm writing this. It feels so ridiculous but I feel like I'm going out of my mind.
Several of my friends have now expressed that they think it's "covert racism" and "culture appropriation" because my Animal Crossing character is black.
I'm a white female but when I started playing I decided I would make my character have dark skin, pink hair and purple eyes - literally nothing like what I look like in person because I just wanted it to be a cute character. I even gave my character a different name that's nothing like mine.
I've been playing for about a month and I don't have live, but I found an adorable villager and I sent my friends (who don't play AC) a picture of my screen and BAM they started telling me it's not right and to make my character white because only black people should be able to used darker skin colour options.
I keep telling them that's stupid because it's just a game... If I ever have a daughter I'll buy her all skin colour Barbies to play with, it shouldn't be any different.
I ended up asking my coworkers about it (a few of who play the game) and they also said it's similar to doing blackface, just virtual...
Seriously AITA? I don't see how it could be wrong when it's just a character I love and created for the purpose of the game.
TL;DR: Made my AC character a dark skinned girl, even named her something else, and my friends and coworkers think it's racist blackface. ###### | NTA.
Blackface is a racist charicature of black people for the purpose of mocking them.
It's not racist to pick a black character in a video game and nor is it a charicature. It is, therefore, not blackface ###### |
Had a new countertop and sink installed, and the countertop people don’t do plumbing, so I needed someone to install the new facet and disposal on the new sink. I can do it myself, but it’s it what brings me joy, plus I’m working. So I decide to just hire a plumber.
Company I called is well regarded, I explained clearly and in detail what I needed. Dispatcher says they’ll send someone to look at it, they’ll give me an estimate, and if I have them do the work, a $70 trip fee will be waived. I agree.
They send a plumber and assistant out a couple of days later. For a faucet install, they want $199. For the disposal install, they want $199. For fitting the drain (apparently not included in your disposal install) they wanted $49. Add on another $58 for parts and supplies and tax. Total bill: $505.
An hour’s work, 2 max? I told the guy $250-500 per hour was more than a little unreasonable. He told me they don’t charge by time, they use “by task transparent pricing”. Oh, really? So the dispatcher could have told me the cost when I asked, but they decided to see if they could back me into a corner with an on the spot price and a $70 charge and no working kitchen sink hanging over my head.
I told them no, I would not let them do the work for $500. He says OK, how would I like to pay for the $70 trip fee. I declined to pay that as well; while I had agreed to it, I don’t feel compelled to pay if they’re going to be utterly unreasonable in their pricing. I told him if their manager had a problem with it they could call me.
In the end I did the work myself in about 2 hours with $10 in parts, reinforcing my feeling that $500 is a “fuck you” price. I’m angry.
Am I the asshole here? ###### | NTA.
Asking you to pay $70 for a quote was not done in good faith, not when this is something they could have at least ballparked over the phone. Something like, "It's going to be $400 just for the faucet and garbage disposal install alone, plus parts."
This was an attempt to use the sunken coast fallacy to charge a premium for work. A lot of people would decide "Well, I don't want to waste $70, so I may as well pay them to do the work." It's manipulative and you were right to send them on their way. ###### |
I want to be clear before we start, I TOTALLY understand that being pregnant has a multitude of different effects on different women. I understand that some women have it easier than others in terms of their pregnancies, like some women can work on their feet until the day the baby is born whereas some can't after 3 months; that is not the issue at hand. My wife has been out of work for 6 months due to recent things at her job, none of which are her fault. We have been trying for a baby for over a year with no results, besides IVF and have been working hard to have a baby.
With all this in mind my wife has taken it upon herself(from recent world-changing events) to say that *getting* pregnant is now her job. I completely disagree. She's stopped looking for a job now and has stopped any amount of side work she was initially doing as well. I said to her that her looking for a job would help with the income for our baby later but she says all the work required for making a baby has made it a full-time job. Now I don't necessarily disagree with her that this is a lot of work but I've been working 70 hrs/week for the past 6 months, I don't want to come home and find out I have to do 50% of the chores because she was "working all day" as she says. I find this to be a cop-out and quite frankly lazy and ridiculous. Now I never said this verbatim to her but these are my thoughts. AITA for this? ###### | NTA.
As someone who had difficulty getting pregnant I can say stress can play a factor. However it doesn’t mean she should live completely stressed free while expecting you to carry the financial burden and also half of the house chores. She can only do half of the job of trying to conceive. She needs you to do the other half.
In fact, staying at home and becoming baby obsess is pretty unhealthy. She needs to redirect her attention elsewhere (like working).
Edit: wow! Thanks for the silver medal kind stranger! ###### |
There's an unofficial rule in my house that if you're cooking an evening meal from scratch, you make four portions of it.
Unfortunately, this limits _everyone_ to what my dad likes. And he is _very_ limited in that regard.
No pasta, no vegetarian meals, nothing too "foreign", and nothing "unusual. Basically he'll accept stews, casseroles, roasts, chops/steaks, and sometimes a mild to medium curry from a jarred sauce. I think the most "adventurous" thing I've seen him eat is haggis, but only on Burn's Night (or as close to as possible), and even then mum has to make a separate pot of plain mash for him (he won't eat tatties and neeps, just tatties).
If left to his own devices he'll live on nuggets and chips or cheese on toast.
I'm getting fed up of this.
I want pasta. I don't want to have to put meat into everything I cook. I want to try making random non-English dishes from the multitude of cookbooks in the kitchen.
I said as much to mum earlier. I told her I'm fed up of catering to someone whose palate is as unsophisticated as a toddler's, with less willingness to explore.
She thinks I'm being selfish, and that dad will be upset if I only cook for myself. I pointed out that if I'm chucking some nuggets in the fryer or making beans on toast, I'm only feeding myself then.
AITA for not wanting to cook for a picky eater any more, so I can eat more things I actually like? ###### | NTA.
As a kid growing up, I can't count how many times my father told me "yiou eat what we prepared". And as a child I was told... "If you don't like it, you can cook your own meal or go hungry".
The same should apply when the children start cooking for the parents. They don't like it? Cook your own meal, or go hungry.
It's a classic example of a wannabe alpha male trying to exert pressure. Dad wants a meal? He eats what's put before him. Otherwise he can cook his own meal.
Don't enable the bully. ###### |
So, I had this big pot with menstrual cups in it on the stove. The pot was sort of covered with a lid and when I left the kitchen for a few minutes my roommates boyfriend (34) apparently walked in and checked what was inside the pot. He gave me a weird look when I returned, but I didn't think anything of it.
Later, roommate (Jade, 28) came up to me and told me not to do that again. I asked 'do what?' and she said 'you know what, dont play dumb, boyfriend was so embrarassed'. When I realised what she was talking about, I sort of laughed and said something like 'he knows what periods are, right? '
She got offended and said i was the one being weird, the cups were like underwear and it was basic courtesy to not have them out where anyone could see them. Also, she isnt 'banning' boiling the cups, but I have to do it in a private space.
I just told her that it was my house too and I can use the kitchen for whatever I need but she didn't take that well and said that I wouldn't understand because I dont have a bf??? Now she's being all cold and only talking to me when she needs something .
I told my sis and she said I needed to grow up and realise that people were weird about certain things and I should humour her because its such a small thing. Which, ok, Jade is generally pretty cool but this seems so ridiculous. Also, I have no idea how I'm supposed to boil the cups in the bathroom? Dont they need to be at boiling temp for a bit?AITA? ###### | NTA.
Are you supposed to sequester yourself during your "unclean" time, too? Periods are a normal function and need to be treated as such. It's not like you were free-bleeding on the furniture, FFS. ###### |