Datasets:

weqweasdas

/

SHP-standard-tmp

like 0

[ { "content": "Home was broken into a month ago, cops just arrested burglar who was caught selling some of our stuff at a pawn shop. Can I press charges to compensate for the items we never got back? Burglar broke into our home while we were at work on 7/8. Two days later he sold our PS4 and Xbox at the local pawn shop. Police caught and arrested him about a week ago. Most of our other expensive items are still missing - flat screen TV, laptop, sound bar, custom gaming PC, and an antique Japanese coin. Can we get a lawyer to sue for damages/stolen goods? We are still missing about $5000 worth of electronics. This is all in the police report. In Oklahoma.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Can you sue civilly? Sure. People in jail don't have money and people stealing to pay for their drug habit don't have money. But you can sue, you just are highly unlikely to collect. First step is insurance. Second would be to see if there is a local victim assistance program that might help.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Home was broken into a month ago, cops just arrested burglar who was caught selling some of our stuff at a pawn shop. Can I press charges to compensate for the items we never got back? Burglar broke into our home while we were at work on 7/8. Two days later he sold our PS4 and Xbox at the local pawn shop. Police caught and arrested him about a week ago. Most of our other expensive items are still missing - flat screen TV, laptop, sound bar, custom gaming PC, and an antique Japanese coin. Can we get a lawyer to sue for damages/stolen goods? We are still missing about $5000 worth of electronics. This is all in the police report. In Oklahoma.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You don’t press charges — you file a police report, which you’ve already done. You can sue for the value of the items. If this guy has no money, he won’t be able to pay you if you win. Won’t your homeowners’ insurance cover some of the items’ value?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Home was broken into a month ago, cops just arrested burglar who was caught selling some of our stuff at a pawn shop. Can I press charges to compensate for the items we never got back? Burglar broke into our home while we were at work on 7/8. Two days later he sold our PS4 and Xbox at the local pawn shop. Police caught and arrested him about a week ago. Most of our other expensive items are still missing - flat screen TV, laptop, sound bar, custom gaming PC, and an antique Japanese coin. Can we get a lawyer to sue for damages/stolen goods? We are still missing about $5000 worth of electronics. This is all in the police report. In Oklahoma.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You can't press charges. That's the domain of the DA. You filed a police report. You can sue them civilly but how much money do you think a thief has?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Home was broken into a month ago, cops just arrested burglar who was caught selling some of our stuff at a pawn shop. Can I press charges to compensate for the items we never got back? Burglar broke into our home while we were at work on 7/8. Two days later he sold our PS4 and Xbox at the local pawn shop. Police caught and arrested him about a week ago. Most of our other expensive items are still missing - flat screen TV, laptop, sound bar, custom gaming PC, and an antique Japanese coin. Can we get a lawyer to sue for damages/stolen goods? We are still missing about $5000 worth of electronics. This is all in the police report. In Oklahoma.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You can contact the District Attorney. They can make restitution a part of sentencing or a plea deal. As others have said - a private suit is most likely a waste of time if this is the typical no-asset scumbag situation. But if the DA says \"Hey, you can get time served and probation if you figure out how to pay this money, or you can spend a year or two in prison if not... that sometimes DOES get blood from the proverbial stone.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Home was broken into a month ago, cops just arrested burglar who was caught selling some of our stuff at a pawn shop. Can I press charges to compensate for the items we never got back? Burglar broke into our home while we were at work on 7/8. Two days later he sold our PS4 and Xbox at the local pawn shop. Police caught and arrested him about a week ago. Most of our other expensive items are still missing - flat screen TV, laptop, sound bar, custom gaming PC, and an antique Japanese coin. Can we get a lawyer to sue for damages/stolen goods? We are still missing about $5000 worth of electronics. This is all in the police report. In Oklahoma.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Like others have said, you can sue him, but he probably doesn't have the money to give you. Maybe in a few years he'll clean up his act and get a regular job and have wages that could be garnished, but if you want to buy a new TV now your insurance would probably be a better bet.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Home was broken into a month ago, cops just arrested burglar who was caught selling some of our stuff at a pawn shop. Can I press charges to compensate for the items we never got back? Burglar broke into our home while we were at work on 7/8. Two days later he sold our PS4 and Xbox at the local pawn shop. Police caught and arrested him about a week ago. Most of our other expensive items are still missing - flat screen TV, laptop, sound bar, custom gaming PC, and an antique Japanese coin. Can we get a lawyer to sue for damages/stolen goods? We are still missing about $5000 worth of electronics. This is all in the police report. In Oklahoma.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You can contact the District Attorney. They can make restitution a part of sentencing or a plea deal. As others have said - a private suit is most likely a waste of time if this is the typical no-asset scumbag situation. But if the DA says \"Hey, you can get time served and probation if you figure out how to pay this money, or you can spend a year or two in prison if not... that sometimes DOES get blood from the proverbial stone.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Home was broken into a month ago, cops just arrested burglar who was caught selling some of our stuff at a pawn shop. Can I press charges to compensate for the items we never got back? Burglar broke into our home while we were at work on 7/8. Two days later he sold our PS4 and Xbox at the local pawn shop. Police caught and arrested him about a week ago. Most of our other expensive items are still missing - flat screen TV, laptop, sound bar, custom gaming PC, and an antique Japanese coin. Can we get a lawyer to sue for damages/stolen goods? We are still missing about $5000 worth of electronics. This is all in the police report. In Oklahoma.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Like others have said, you can sue him, but he probably doesn't have the money to give you. Maybe in a few years he'll clean up his act and get a regular job and have wages that could be garnished, but if you want to buy a new TV now your insurance would probably be a better bet.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Home was broken into a month ago, cops just arrested burglar who was caught selling some of our stuff at a pawn shop. Can I press charges to compensate for the items we never got back? Burglar broke into our home while we were at work on 7/8. Two days later he sold our PS4 and Xbox at the local pawn shop. Police caught and arrested him about a week ago. Most of our other expensive items are still missing - flat screen TV, laptop, sound bar, custom gaming PC, and an antique Japanese coin. Can we get a lawyer to sue for damages/stolen goods? We are still missing about $5000 worth of electronics. This is all in the police report. In Oklahoma.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "most pawn shops are required to keep merchandise at the pawn shop for a certain time and register it with the police dept. your stuff may still be there and the pawn shop owners are in possession of stolen property. \"In most states pawn shops are required to hold anything they buy for 30 days prior to placing it up for sale and they are also supposed to check any item with the police to make sure what they have is not stolen property\"", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Incident at my son's high school: Boy broke a classmate's wrist. School and police aren't doing anything because the boy has diplomatic immunity (New York) I didn't even know that family members of diplomats have diplomatic immunity as well. Would the girl whose wrist got broken and her parents have any kind of recourse here or is diplomatic immunity absolute? The boy did not get in trouble at school or arrested by the police and he's still attending classes like normal.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sounds ripe for a civil suit.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Incident at my son's high school: Boy broke a classmate's wrist. School and police aren't doing anything because the boy has diplomatic immunity (New York) I didn't even know that family members of diplomats have diplomatic immunity as well. Would the girl whose wrist got broken and her parents have any kind of recourse here or is diplomatic immunity absolute? The boy did not get in trouble at school or arrested by the police and he's still attending classes like normal.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I grew up in Washington DC with a fair number of diplomat kids at my school. There was a similar case at my HS (Kid was selling forged IDs so kids could drink, he claimed immunity. Unfortunately for him, the only thing the feds like worse than counterfeiters is foriegn national counterfeiters) and a couple of other similar cases. What you should do is contact the embassy of the country that the kid has immunity under. Embassies really really don't like bad press, and they will work with you to try and make sure you don't raise too much of a stink. They can and will retroactively deny immunity, especially with violent offenders (with stuff like traffic violations or non violent misdemeanors theyll defend people, but no country likes people who break bones in their country's name without permission). This also serves the purpose of finding out whether or not the kid actually has immunity. It might be something like the cops went to his house and the parent screamed \"we have immunity you can't come on the property\" and the cops left it at that, but thats not actually how it works. Cops might not know that though, diplomats and their kids are usually pretty well behaved so cops wouldnt have a lot of experience with that. The best thing about contacting the embassy is you don't even have to have anything to do with the girl who was injured to contact them. You can say \"I'm afraid of this known violent person at this school and he'a comitting crimes in the name of your country\" and the diplomatic people will work quickly. Might wanna contact the State Department. The lawyers there and the embassies lawyers usually work together to make sure that things flow smoothly and diplomatically with the police and the families involved.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Incident at my son's high school: Boy broke a classmate's wrist. School and police aren't doing anything because the boy has diplomatic immunity (New York) I didn't even know that family members of diplomats have diplomatic immunity as well. Would the girl whose wrist got broken and her parents have any kind of recourse here or is diplomatic immunity absolute? The boy did not get in trouble at school or arrested by the police and he's still attending classes like normal.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Does diplomatic immunity actually apply to violent crimes?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Incident at my son's high school: Boy broke a classmate's wrist. School and police aren't doing anything because the boy has diplomatic immunity (New York) I didn't even know that family members of diplomats have diplomatic immunity as well. Would the girl whose wrist got broken and her parents have any kind of recourse here or is diplomatic immunity absolute? The boy did not get in trouble at school or arrested by the police and he's still attending classes like normal.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I grew up in Washington DC with a fair number of diplomat kids at my school. There was a similar case at my HS (Kid was selling forged IDs so kids could drink, he claimed immunity. Unfortunately for him, the only thing the feds like worse than counterfeiters is foriegn national counterfeiters) and a couple of other similar cases. What you should do is contact the embassy of the country that the kid has immunity under. Embassies really really don't like bad press, and they will work with you to try and make sure you don't raise too much of a stink. They can and will retroactively deny immunity, especially with violent offenders (with stuff like traffic violations or non violent misdemeanors theyll defend people, but no country likes people who break bones in their country's name without permission). This also serves the purpose of finding out whether or not the kid actually has immunity. It might be something like the cops went to his house and the parent screamed \"we have immunity you can't come on the property\" and the cops left it at that, but thats not actually how it works. Cops might not know that though, diplomats and their kids are usually pretty well behaved so cops wouldnt have a lot of experience with that. The best thing about contacting the embassy is you don't even have to have anything to do with the girl who was injured to contact them. You can say \"I'm afraid of this known violent person at this school and he'a comitting crimes in the name of your country\" and the diplomatic people will work quickly. Might wanna contact the State Department. The lawyers there and the embassies lawyers usually work together to make sure that things flow smoothly and diplomatically with the police and the families involved.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Incident at my son's high school: Boy broke a classmate's wrist. School and police aren't doing anything because the boy has diplomatic immunity (New York) I didn't even know that family members of diplomats have diplomatic immunity as well. Would the girl whose wrist got broken and her parents have any kind of recourse here or is diplomatic immunity absolute? The boy did not get in trouble at school or arrested by the police and he's still attending classes like normal.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How did he break her wrist?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Incident at my son's high school: Boy broke a classmate's wrist. School and police aren't doing anything because the boy has diplomatic immunity (New York) I didn't even know that family members of diplomats have diplomatic immunity as well. Would the girl whose wrist got broken and her parents have any kind of recourse here or is diplomatic immunity absolute? The boy did not get in trouble at school or arrested by the police and he's still attending classes like normal.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Diplomatic immunity applies to criminal and civil government actions. It should not prevent the school from suspending/expelling the kid.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Incident at my son's high school: Boy broke a classmate's wrist. School and police aren't doing anything because the boy has diplomatic immunity (New York) I didn't even know that family members of diplomats have diplomatic immunity as well. Would the girl whose wrist got broken and her parents have any kind of recourse here or is diplomatic immunity absolute? The boy did not get in trouble at school or arrested by the police and he's still attending classes like normal.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Does diplomatic immunity actually apply to violent crimes?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Incident at my son's high school: Boy broke a classmate's wrist. School and police aren't doing anything because the boy has diplomatic immunity (New York) I didn't even know that family members of diplomats have diplomatic immunity as well. Would the girl whose wrist got broken and her parents have any kind of recourse here or is diplomatic immunity absolute? The boy did not get in trouble at school or arrested by the police and he's still attending classes like normal.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Diplomatic immunity applies to criminal and civil government actions. It should not prevent the school from suspending/expelling the kid.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Incident at my son's high school: Boy broke a classmate's wrist. School and police aren't doing anything because the boy has diplomatic immunity (New York) I didn't even know that family members of diplomats have diplomatic immunity as well. Would the girl whose wrist got broken and her parents have any kind of recourse here or is diplomatic immunity absolute? The boy did not get in trouble at school or arrested by the police and he's still attending classes like normal.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Does diplomatic immunity actually apply to violent crimes?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Incident at my son's high school: Boy broke a classmate's wrist. School and police aren't doing anything because the boy has diplomatic immunity (New York) I didn't even know that family members of diplomats have diplomatic immunity as well. Would the girl whose wrist got broken and her parents have any kind of recourse here or is diplomatic immunity absolute? The boy did not get in trouble at school or arrested by the police and he's still attending classes like normal.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How did he break her wrist?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[CO] Son's school says they will call the police on 8 year old with Autism My son is 8 years old, in 3rd grade. He has high functioning autism and ADHD. He has a 504 plan. When we first started going to this school, they indicated he didn't need a 504 plan because he was too high functioning. In Kindergarten he eloped from school and ran home. We are a 10 minute walk from school. I work from home and made him go back immediately. This got the school motivated on getting his 504 plan going. We worked with the school and his therapists and things improved. Until this year. This year has gone very poorly. He struggles to tell me why, but he absolutely hates school this year. He's left his classroom several times, and managed to make it all the way home twice. This year his school also has a new principal. We had a 504 review meeting with the school recently to see what accommodations we can make for him and agreed on a plan. (Getting an autism specialist involved, perhaps having an IEP, etc.). The principal is super concerned about him eloping from school, and rightly so. We made some incentive structures for him to stay in class. That improved things for a bit. However today, after he eloped for the 2nd time this year, she told him next time she would call the police. I understand her concern about safety, however he's 8 and has autism and ADHD. If he interacts with the police in a confrontational manner I'm terrified he might struggle with them, disobey, even hit them to escape. What can I do? Do I need a lawyer? If I do, where can I find a good one that does education or special needs or something like that? Should I try to de-escalate with the principal or stop communicating except through an attorney? Should I keep him home from school to prevent further escalations until I have help? Thanks", "role": "user" }, { "content": "He needs a one-to-one aide if he’s prone to eloping. Or there are better schools for him that will keep him safe/contained. The staff at these campuses are better trained and equipped for high functioning students with autism. Go to the the meeting and see what they are offering. You have a right to agree or disagree with any of the options.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[CO] Son's school says they will call the police on 8 year old with Autism My son is 8 years old, in 3rd grade. He has high functioning autism and ADHD. He has a 504 plan. When we first started going to this school, they indicated he didn't need a 504 plan because he was too high functioning. In Kindergarten he eloped from school and ran home. We are a 10 minute walk from school. I work from home and made him go back immediately. This got the school motivated on getting his 504 plan going. We worked with the school and his therapists and things improved. Until this year. This year has gone very poorly. He struggles to tell me why, but he absolutely hates school this year. He's left his classroom several times, and managed to make it all the way home twice. This year his school also has a new principal. We had a 504 review meeting with the school recently to see what accommodations we can make for him and agreed on a plan. (Getting an autism specialist involved, perhaps having an IEP, etc.). The principal is super concerned about him eloping from school, and rightly so. We made some incentive structures for him to stay in class. That improved things for a bit. However today, after he eloped for the 2nd time this year, she told him next time she would call the police. I understand her concern about safety, however he's 8 and has autism and ADHD. If he interacts with the police in a confrontational manner I'm terrified he might struggle with them, disobey, even hit them to escape. What can I do? Do I need a lawyer? If I do, where can I find a good one that does education or special needs or something like that? Should I try to de-escalate with the principal or stop communicating except through an attorney? Should I keep him home from school to prevent further escalations until I have help? Thanks", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You can also register your child with local law enforcement. You make a profile with a picture, diagnosis, triggers, medications etc. It helps them learn more about the child and how to address them.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[CO] Son's school says they will call the police on 8 year old with Autism My son is 8 years old, in 3rd grade. He has high functioning autism and ADHD. He has a 504 plan. When we first started going to this school, they indicated he didn't need a 504 plan because he was too high functioning. In Kindergarten he eloped from school and ran home. We are a 10 minute walk from school. I work from home and made him go back immediately. This got the school motivated on getting his 504 plan going. We worked with the school and his therapists and things improved. Until this year. This year has gone very poorly. He struggles to tell me why, but he absolutely hates school this year. He's left his classroom several times, and managed to make it all the way home twice. This year his school also has a new principal. We had a 504 review meeting with the school recently to see what accommodations we can make for him and agreed on a plan. (Getting an autism specialist involved, perhaps having an IEP, etc.). The principal is super concerned about him eloping from school, and rightly so. We made some incentive structures for him to stay in class. That improved things for a bit. However today, after he eloped for the 2nd time this year, she told him next time she would call the police. I understand her concern about safety, however he's 8 and has autism and ADHD. If he interacts with the police in a confrontational manner I'm terrified he might struggle with them, disobey, even hit them to escape. What can I do? Do I need a lawyer? If I do, where can I find a good one that does education or special needs or something like that? Should I try to de-escalate with the principal or stop communicating except through an attorney? Should I keep him home from school to prevent further escalations until I have help? Thanks", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Please, please search for autism resources in your state. Find an advocate that will go with you to the ARC meeting. An attorney well-versed n educational law would be great, but an advocate can help a lot. Ask - Knowing that part of his disability is running for situations that provoke anxiety, what is your plan to ensure his safety?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[CO] Son's school says they will call the police on 8 year old with Autism My son is 8 years old, in 3rd grade. He has high functioning autism and ADHD. He has a 504 plan. When we first started going to this school, they indicated he didn't need a 504 plan because he was too high functioning. In Kindergarten he eloped from school and ran home. We are a 10 minute walk from school. I work from home and made him go back immediately. This got the school motivated on getting his 504 plan going. We worked with the school and his therapists and things improved. Until this year. This year has gone very poorly. He struggles to tell me why, but he absolutely hates school this year. He's left his classroom several times, and managed to make it all the way home twice. This year his school also has a new principal. We had a 504 review meeting with the school recently to see what accommodations we can make for him and agreed on a plan. (Getting an autism specialist involved, perhaps having an IEP, etc.). The principal is super concerned about him eloping from school, and rightly so. We made some incentive structures for him to stay in class. That improved things for a bit. However today, after he eloped for the 2nd time this year, she told him next time she would call the police. I understand her concern about safety, however he's 8 and has autism and ADHD. If he interacts with the police in a confrontational manner I'm terrified he might struggle with them, disobey, even hit them to escape. What can I do? Do I need a lawyer? If I do, where can I find a good one that does education or special needs or something like that? Should I try to de-escalate with the principal or stop communicating except through an attorney? Should I keep him home from school to prevent further escalations until I have help? Thanks", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You can also register your child with local law enforcement. You make a profile with a picture, diagnosis, triggers, medications etc. It helps them learn more about the child and how to address them.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[CO] Son's school says they will call the police on 8 year old with Autism My son is 8 years old, in 3rd grade. He has high functioning autism and ADHD. He has a 504 plan. When we first started going to this school, they indicated he didn't need a 504 plan because he was too high functioning. In Kindergarten he eloped from school and ran home. We are a 10 minute walk from school. I work from home and made him go back immediately. This got the school motivated on getting his 504 plan going. We worked with the school and his therapists and things improved. Until this year. This year has gone very poorly. He struggles to tell me why, but he absolutely hates school this year. He's left his classroom several times, and managed to make it all the way home twice. This year his school also has a new principal. We had a 504 review meeting with the school recently to see what accommodations we can make for him and agreed on a plan. (Getting an autism specialist involved, perhaps having an IEP, etc.). The principal is super concerned about him eloping from school, and rightly so. We made some incentive structures for him to stay in class. That improved things for a bit. However today, after he eloped for the 2nd time this year, she told him next time she would call the police. I understand her concern about safety, however he's 8 and has autism and ADHD. If he interacts with the police in a confrontational manner I'm terrified he might struggle with them, disobey, even hit them to escape. What can I do? Do I need a lawyer? If I do, where can I find a good one that does education or special needs or something like that? Should I try to de-escalate with the principal or stop communicating except through an attorney? Should I keep him home from school to prevent further escalations until I have help? Thanks", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How do they see that going down? They're going to be calling the cops because they failed in their supervisory capacity? I've worked with eloping students and have followed them multiple blocks while on the phone with their parents. I would be seriously talking to the school about their security if kids are able to leave at will and without notice. I would absolutely ask for an IEP evaluation. Put it in writing. They are legally required go through the process within a relatively short time frame. Look for local autism support groups as they may have special education advocates that can attend IEP meetings with you to make sure that the school is providing reasonable accommodations.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[CO] Son's school says they will call the police on 8 year old with Autism My son is 8 years old, in 3rd grade. He has high functioning autism and ADHD. He has a 504 plan. When we first started going to this school, they indicated he didn't need a 504 plan because he was too high functioning. In Kindergarten he eloped from school and ran home. We are a 10 minute walk from school. I work from home and made him go back immediately. This got the school motivated on getting his 504 plan going. We worked with the school and his therapists and things improved. Until this year. This year has gone very poorly. He struggles to tell me why, but he absolutely hates school this year. He's left his classroom several times, and managed to make it all the way home twice. This year his school also has a new principal. We had a 504 review meeting with the school recently to see what accommodations we can make for him and agreed on a plan. (Getting an autism specialist involved, perhaps having an IEP, etc.). The principal is super concerned about him eloping from school, and rightly so. We made some incentive structures for him to stay in class. That improved things for a bit. However today, after he eloped for the 2nd time this year, she told him next time she would call the police. I understand her concern about safety, however he's 8 and has autism and ADHD. If he interacts with the police in a confrontational manner I'm terrified he might struggle with them, disobey, even hit them to escape. What can I do? Do I need a lawyer? If I do, where can I find a good one that does education or special needs or something like that? Should I try to de-escalate with the principal or stop communicating except through an attorney? Should I keep him home from school to prevent further escalations until I have help? Thanks", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You can also register your child with local law enforcement. You make a profile with a picture, diagnosis, triggers, medications etc. It helps them learn more about the child and how to address them.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[CO] Son's school says they will call the police on 8 year old with Autism My son is 8 years old, in 3rd grade. He has high functioning autism and ADHD. He has a 504 plan. When we first started going to this school, they indicated he didn't need a 504 plan because he was too high functioning. In Kindergarten he eloped from school and ran home. We are a 10 minute walk from school. I work from home and made him go back immediately. This got the school motivated on getting his 504 plan going. We worked with the school and his therapists and things improved. Until this year. This year has gone very poorly. He struggles to tell me why, but he absolutely hates school this year. He's left his classroom several times, and managed to make it all the way home twice. This year his school also has a new principal. We had a 504 review meeting with the school recently to see what accommodations we can make for him and agreed on a plan. (Getting an autism specialist involved, perhaps having an IEP, etc.). The principal is super concerned about him eloping from school, and rightly so. We made some incentive structures for him to stay in class. That improved things for a bit. However today, after he eloped for the 2nd time this year, she told him next time she would call the police. I understand her concern about safety, however he's 8 and has autism and ADHD. If he interacts with the police in a confrontational manner I'm terrified he might struggle with them, disobey, even hit them to escape. What can I do? Do I need a lawyer? If I do, where can I find a good one that does education or special needs or something like that? Should I try to de-escalate with the principal or stop communicating except through an attorney? Should I keep him home from school to prevent further escalations until I have help? Thanks", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Please, please search for autism resources in your state. Find an advocate that will go with you to the ARC meeting. An attorney well-versed n educational law would be great, but an advocate can help a lot. Ask - Knowing that part of his disability is running for situations that provoke anxiety, what is your plan to ensure his safety?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[CO] Son's school says they will call the police on 8 year old with Autism My son is 8 years old, in 3rd grade. He has high functioning autism and ADHD. He has a 504 plan. When we first started going to this school, they indicated he didn't need a 504 plan because he was too high functioning. In Kindergarten he eloped from school and ran home. We are a 10 minute walk from school. I work from home and made him go back immediately. This got the school motivated on getting his 504 plan going. We worked with the school and his therapists and things improved. Until this year. This year has gone very poorly. He struggles to tell me why, but he absolutely hates school this year. He's left his classroom several times, and managed to make it all the way home twice. This year his school also has a new principal. We had a 504 review meeting with the school recently to see what accommodations we can make for him and agreed on a plan. (Getting an autism specialist involved, perhaps having an IEP, etc.). The principal is super concerned about him eloping from school, and rightly so. We made some incentive structures for him to stay in class. That improved things for a bit. However today, after he eloped for the 2nd time this year, she told him next time she would call the police. I understand her concern about safety, however he's 8 and has autism and ADHD. If he interacts with the police in a confrontational manner I'm terrified he might struggle with them, disobey, even hit them to escape. What can I do? Do I need a lawyer? If I do, where can I find a good one that does education or special needs or something like that? Should I try to de-escalate with the principal or stop communicating except through an attorney? Should I keep him home from school to prevent further escalations until I have help? Thanks", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You can talk with them about any further accommodations that could prevent him from running from the school, but as someone former in special education it’s standard procedure to involve the police once a student has left the school grounds. We’d do everything we could to prevent elopement and supervise for safety when it happened, but we were instructed that we could only monitor and try to bring them back while they were on school grounds. Once they left, it was out of our hands and we had to inform police for their safety and our liability.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[CO] Son's school says they will call the police on 8 year old with Autism My son is 8 years old, in 3rd grade. He has high functioning autism and ADHD. He has a 504 plan. When we first started going to this school, they indicated he didn't need a 504 plan because he was too high functioning. In Kindergarten he eloped from school and ran home. We are a 10 minute walk from school. I work from home and made him go back immediately. This got the school motivated on getting his 504 plan going. We worked with the school and his therapists and things improved. Until this year. This year has gone very poorly. He struggles to tell me why, but he absolutely hates school this year. He's left his classroom several times, and managed to make it all the way home twice. This year his school also has a new principal. We had a 504 review meeting with the school recently to see what accommodations we can make for him and agreed on a plan. (Getting an autism specialist involved, perhaps having an IEP, etc.). The principal is super concerned about him eloping from school, and rightly so. We made some incentive structures for him to stay in class. That improved things for a bit. However today, after he eloped for the 2nd time this year, she told him next time she would call the police. I understand her concern about safety, however he's 8 and has autism and ADHD. If he interacts with the police in a confrontational manner I'm terrified he might struggle with them, disobey, even hit them to escape. What can I do? Do I need a lawyer? If I do, where can I find a good one that does education or special needs or something like that? Should I try to de-escalate with the principal or stop communicating except through an attorney? Should I keep him home from school to prevent further escalations until I have help? Thanks", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How do they see that going down? They're going to be calling the cops because they failed in their supervisory capacity? I've worked with eloping students and have followed them multiple blocks while on the phone with their parents. I would be seriously talking to the school about their security if kids are able to leave at will and without notice. I would absolutely ask for an IEP evaluation. Put it in writing. They are legally required go through the process within a relatively short time frame. Look for local autism support groups as they may have special education advocates that can attend IEP meetings with you to make sure that the school is providing reasonable accommodations.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[CO] Son's school says they will call the police on 8 year old with Autism My son is 8 years old, in 3rd grade. He has high functioning autism and ADHD. He has a 504 plan. When we first started going to this school, they indicated he didn't need a 504 plan because he was too high functioning. In Kindergarten he eloped from school and ran home. We are a 10 minute walk from school. I work from home and made him go back immediately. This got the school motivated on getting his 504 plan going. We worked with the school and his therapists and things improved. Until this year. This year has gone very poorly. He struggles to tell me why, but he absolutely hates school this year. He's left his classroom several times, and managed to make it all the way home twice. This year his school also has a new principal. We had a 504 review meeting with the school recently to see what accommodations we can make for him and agreed on a plan. (Getting an autism specialist involved, perhaps having an IEP, etc.). The principal is super concerned about him eloping from school, and rightly so. We made some incentive structures for him to stay in class. That improved things for a bit. However today, after he eloped for the 2nd time this year, she told him next time she would call the police. I understand her concern about safety, however he's 8 and has autism and ADHD. If he interacts with the police in a confrontational manner I'm terrified he might struggle with them, disobey, even hit them to escape. What can I do? Do I need a lawyer? If I do, where can I find a good one that does education or special needs or something like that? Should I try to de-escalate with the principal or stop communicating except through an attorney? Should I keep him home from school to prevent further escalations until I have help? Thanks", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You can talk with them about any further accommodations that could prevent him from running from the school, but as someone former in special education it’s standard procedure to involve the police once a student has left the school grounds. We’d do everything we could to prevent elopement and supervise for safety when it happened, but we were instructed that we could only monitor and try to bring them back while they were on school grounds. Once they left, it was out of our hands and we had to inform police for their safety and our liability.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Car accident while in another state, insurance wants to total vehicle ('79 Ford pickup) that I intend to keep/fix. If I accept, it may be illegal to drive home. – Tennessee, North Dakota] I have a '79 F-100 that I rebuilt and am quite fond of. It runs and drives beautifully, gets great highway milage, and I (and others) really enjoy it. I drove it from TN to ND in August, and subsequently all around the area for about a month before being crashed-into by an utter nincompoop who ran a stop sign (RIP Honda). [Truck Before and After His insurance took quite a while to come up with an offer ($6k, total loss), and I haven't accepted it yet (can't find anything to compare it to) and I'm somewhat doubting that I should. The damage is just cosmetic really, and I plan on fixing it myself here in North Dakota before going home. The patina is intentional and part of the \"look\" (which I'll probably never be able to replicate exactly and I may just end up restoring), but the truck overall is in excellent mechanical condition. From what I gather, a totaled vehicle can't be legally registered, driven or insured in Tennessee until it's \"rebuilt\", which if true would make it practically impossible to drive home legally (which I intended to do weeks ago were it not for the accident). The insurance agent said the only way to avoid a salvage title would be to drop the claim. Any guidance or insight is much appreciated.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It’s already registered. Just drive it home.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Car accident while in another state, insurance wants to total vehicle ('79 Ford pickup) that I intend to keep/fix. If I accept, it may be illegal to drive home. – Tennessee, North Dakota] I have a '79 F-100 that I rebuilt and am quite fond of. It runs and drives beautifully, gets great highway milage, and I (and others) really enjoy it. I drove it from TN to ND in August, and subsequently all around the area for about a month before being crashed-into by an utter nincompoop who ran a stop sign (RIP Honda). [Truck Before and After His insurance took quite a while to come up with an offer ($6k, total loss), and I haven't accepted it yet (can't find anything to compare it to) and I'm somewhat doubting that I should. The damage is just cosmetic really, and I plan on fixing it myself here in North Dakota before going home. The patina is intentional and part of the \"look\" (which I'll probably never be able to replicate exactly and I may just end up restoring), but the truck overall is in excellent mechanical condition. From what I gather, a totaled vehicle can't be legally registered, driven or insured in Tennessee until it's \"rebuilt\", which if true would make it practically impossible to drive home legally (which I intended to do weeks ago were it not for the accident). The insurance agent said the only way to avoid a salvage title would be to drop the claim. Any guidance or insight is much appreciated.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Here's the distinction... It's not that a 'totaled' vehicle cannot be driven... It's that a vehicle cannot be driven on a 'salvage' title until it is fixed and then converted to a 'rebuilt' title. Have you updated the title to a 'salvage' title yet with the DMV/BMV? If not, then it should still be covered by the title/registration/insurance that you had on it in August (assuming none of those have expired) . The bigger question for you is \"is it SAFE to drive?\" Is it mechanically safe? Are the lights and other legally required equipment in good working order and in compliance with applicable laws? If it is SAFE to drive then drive it home before you complete the process of getting the salvage title and payout. MANY people drive vehicles home from a crash that are ultimately considered totaled by the insurance company - as long as they are safe to drive - it's only once the title is actually branded as 'salvage' that you can no longer drive it until it's rebuilt. Of course, if it it not safe to drive then have it towed. Before you decide to keep and fix it, make sure you understand Tennesee's process for converting a salvage title to a rebuilt title. They may demand receipts for parts used in the repair, so have them ready.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Car accident while in another state, insurance wants to total vehicle ('79 Ford pickup) that I intend to keep/fix. If I accept, it may be illegal to drive home. – Tennessee, North Dakota] I have a '79 F-100 that I rebuilt and am quite fond of. It runs and drives beautifully, gets great highway milage, and I (and others) really enjoy it. I drove it from TN to ND in August, and subsequently all around the area for about a month before being crashed-into by an utter nincompoop who ran a stop sign (RIP Honda). [Truck Before and After His insurance took quite a while to come up with an offer ($6k, total loss), and I haven't accepted it yet (can't find anything to compare it to) and I'm somewhat doubting that I should. The damage is just cosmetic really, and I plan on fixing it myself here in North Dakota before going home. The patina is intentional and part of the \"look\" (which I'll probably never be able to replicate exactly and I may just end up restoring), but the truck overall is in excellent mechanical condition. From what I gather, a totaled vehicle can't be legally registered, driven or insured in Tennessee until it's \"rebuilt\", which if true would make it practically impossible to drive home legally (which I intended to do weeks ago were it not for the accident). The insurance agent said the only way to avoid a salvage title would be to drop the claim. Any guidance or insight is much appreciated.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Could ship it back.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Car accident while in another state, insurance wants to total vehicle ('79 Ford pickup) that I intend to keep/fix. If I accept, it may be illegal to drive home. – Tennessee, North Dakota] I have a '79 F-100 that I rebuilt and am quite fond of. It runs and drives beautifully, gets great highway milage, and I (and others) really enjoy it. I drove it from TN to ND in August, and subsequently all around the area for about a month before being crashed-into by an utter nincompoop who ran a stop sign (RIP Honda). [Truck Before and After His insurance took quite a while to come up with an offer ($6k, total loss), and I haven't accepted it yet (can't find anything to compare it to) and I'm somewhat doubting that I should. The damage is just cosmetic really, and I plan on fixing it myself here in North Dakota before going home. The patina is intentional and part of the \"look\" (which I'll probably never be able to replicate exactly and I may just end up restoring), but the truck overall is in excellent mechanical condition. From what I gather, a totaled vehicle can't be legally registered, driven or insured in Tennessee until it's \"rebuilt\", which if true would make it practically impossible to drive home legally (which I intended to do weeks ago were it not for the accident). The insurance agent said the only way to avoid a salvage title would be to drop the claim. Any guidance or insight is much appreciated.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Here's the distinction... It's not that a 'totaled' vehicle cannot be driven... It's that a vehicle cannot be driven on a 'salvage' title until it is fixed and then converted to a 'rebuilt' title. Have you updated the title to a 'salvage' title yet with the DMV/BMV? If not, then it should still be covered by the title/registration/insurance that you had on it in August (assuming none of those have expired) . The bigger question for you is \"is it SAFE to drive?\" Is it mechanically safe? Are the lights and other legally required equipment in good working order and in compliance with applicable laws? If it is SAFE to drive then drive it home before you complete the process of getting the salvage title and payout. MANY people drive vehicles home from a crash that are ultimately considered totaled by the insurance company - as long as they are safe to drive - it's only once the title is actually branded as 'salvage' that you can no longer drive it until it's rebuilt. Of course, if it it not safe to drive then have it towed. Before you decide to keep and fix it, make sure you understand Tennesee's process for converting a salvage title to a rebuilt title. They may demand receipts for parts used in the repair, so have them ready.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Car accident while in another state, insurance wants to total vehicle ('79 Ford pickup) that I intend to keep/fix. If I accept, it may be illegal to drive home. – Tennessee, North Dakota] I have a '79 F-100 that I rebuilt and am quite fond of. It runs and drives beautifully, gets great highway milage, and I (and others) really enjoy it. I drove it from TN to ND in August, and subsequently all around the area for about a month before being crashed-into by an utter nincompoop who ran a stop sign (RIP Honda). [Truck Before and After His insurance took quite a while to come up with an offer ($6k, total loss), and I haven't accepted it yet (can't find anything to compare it to) and I'm somewhat doubting that I should. The damage is just cosmetic really, and I plan on fixing it myself here in North Dakota before going home. The patina is intentional and part of the \"look\" (which I'll probably never be able to replicate exactly and I may just end up restoring), but the truck overall is in excellent mechanical condition. From what I gather, a totaled vehicle can't be legally registered, driven or insured in Tennessee until it's \"rebuilt\", which if true would make it practically impossible to drive home legally (which I intended to do weeks ago were it not for the accident). The insurance agent said the only way to avoid a salvage title would be to drop the claim. Any guidance or insight is much appreciated.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Could ship it back.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Car accident while in another state, insurance wants to total vehicle ('79 Ford pickup) that I intend to keep/fix. If I accept, it may be illegal to drive home. – Tennessee, North Dakota] I have a '79 F-100 that I rebuilt and am quite fond of. It runs and drives beautifully, gets great highway milage, and I (and others) really enjoy it. I drove it from TN to ND in August, and subsequently all around the area for about a month before being crashed-into by an utter nincompoop who ran a stop sign (RIP Honda). [Truck Before and After His insurance took quite a while to come up with an offer ($6k, total loss), and I haven't accepted it yet (can't find anything to compare it to) and I'm somewhat doubting that I should. The damage is just cosmetic really, and I plan on fixing it myself here in North Dakota before going home. The patina is intentional and part of the \"look\" (which I'll probably never be able to replicate exactly and I may just end up restoring), but the truck overall is in excellent mechanical condition. From what I gather, a totaled vehicle can't be legally registered, driven or insured in Tennessee until it's \"rebuilt\", which if true would make it practically impossible to drive home legally (which I intended to do weeks ago were it not for the accident). The insurance agent said the only way to avoid a salvage title would be to drop the claim. Any guidance or insight is much appreciated.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That is an original unrestored antique vehicle. You can get a lot more than 6k for it.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My girlfriend wants to lock her disabled son out of the house on his 18th birthday without finding him housing. However she plans to continue collecting his SSDI. He is illiterate and does not understand SSDI. If I am also living there, could I be liable for this if she is caught? FL", "role": "user" }, { "content": "~~I've got good news for you: Your girlfriend's disabled son is going to be just fine. Know why? Because her boyfriend is **legally obligated** by Florida Statute 415.1034 to report her plan to the central abuse hotline at 1-800-962-2873 or he will go to jail.~~ e: Apparently 'any person' doesn't mean 'any person' in Florida. Who knew. Or maybe it does. I don't know what's real anymore. Someone hold me. (Seriously we're not sure about this part)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My girlfriend wants to lock her disabled son out of the house on his 18th birthday without finding him housing. However she plans to continue collecting his SSDI. He is illiterate and does not understand SSDI. If I am also living there, could I be liable for this if she is caught? FL", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The good news, of course, that it will take no time at all for a homeless deaf autistic young man to come to the attention of the authorities. And none to soon I think based on this poster and the attitudes displayed by him and his \"girl friend\". And of course what that means is that she won't be keeping his SSI. With any luck she'll be charged with fraud or abuse, but even if she isn't, she's not going to be getting the money. My only concern is the few days between her locking him out and him being picked up. You know what - thinking about it, I'm calling troll. I'm saying this because anyone who knows anything about autism knows that change is not only bad, it's not accepted. So if this was real, the GF would lock the young man out and then what? Would she really expect him to quietly move along? No he'd be outside the property most likely drawing attention to the situation.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My girlfriend wants to lock her disabled son out of the house on his 18th birthday without finding him housing. However she plans to continue collecting his SSDI. He is illiterate and does not understand SSDI. If I am also living there, could I be liable for this if she is caught? FL", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know this isn't /r/RelationshipAdvice but your girlfriend sounds like a complete and utter scumbag, get out of there dude (after reporting her for the sake of the kid of course).", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My girlfriend wants to lock her disabled son out of the house on his 18th birthday without finding him housing. However she plans to continue collecting his SSDI. He is illiterate and does not understand SSDI. If I am also living there, could I be liable for this if she is caught? FL", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The good news, of course, that it will take no time at all for a homeless deaf autistic young man to come to the attention of the authorities. And none to soon I think based on this poster and the attitudes displayed by him and his \"girl friend\". And of course what that means is that she won't be keeping his SSI. With any luck she'll be charged with fraud or abuse, but even if she isn't, she's not going to be getting the money. My only concern is the few days between her locking him out and him being picked up. You know what - thinking about it, I'm calling troll. I'm saying this because anyone who knows anything about autism knows that change is not only bad, it's not accepted. So if this was real, the GF would lock the young man out and then what? Would she really expect him to quietly move along? No he'd be outside the property most likely drawing attention to the situation.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My girlfriend wants to lock her disabled son out of the house on his 18th birthday without finding him housing. However she plans to continue collecting his SSDI. He is illiterate and does not understand SSDI. If I am also living there, could I be liable for this if she is caught? FL", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Basically, yes. >415.111 Criminal penalties.— (1) A person who knowingly and willfully fails to report a case of known or suspected abuse, neglect, or exploitation of a vulnerable adult, or who knowingly and willfully prevents another person from doing so, commits a misdemeanor of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or s. 775.083.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My girlfriend wants to lock her disabled son out of the house on his 18th birthday without finding him housing. However she plans to continue collecting his SSDI. He is illiterate and does not understand SSDI. If I am also living there, could I be liable for this if she is caught? FL", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The good news, of course, that it will take no time at all for a homeless deaf autistic young man to come to the attention of the authorities. And none to soon I think based on this poster and the attitudes displayed by him and his \"girl friend\". And of course what that means is that she won't be keeping his SSI. With any luck she'll be charged with fraud or abuse, but even if she isn't, she's not going to be getting the money. My only concern is the few days between her locking him out and him being picked up. You know what - thinking about it, I'm calling troll. I'm saying this because anyone who knows anything about autism knows that change is not only bad, it's not accepted. So if this was real, the GF would lock the young man out and then what? Would she really expect him to quietly move along? No he'd be outside the property most likely drawing attention to the situation.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My girlfriend wants to lock her disabled son out of the house on his 18th birthday without finding him housing. However she plans to continue collecting his SSDI. He is illiterate and does not understand SSDI. If I am also living there, could I be liable for this if she is caught? FL", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The better question is wtf are you doing with this monster in the first place? Don't bother answering. You two are made for each other.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My girlfriend wants to lock her disabled son out of the house on his 18th birthday without finding him housing. However she plans to continue collecting his SSDI. He is illiterate and does not understand SSDI. If I am also living there, could I be liable for this if she is caught? FL", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The good news, of course, that it will take no time at all for a homeless deaf autistic young man to come to the attention of the authorities. And none to soon I think based on this poster and the attitudes displayed by him and his \"girl friend\". And of course what that means is that she won't be keeping his SSI. With any luck she'll be charged with fraud or abuse, but even if she isn't, she's not going to be getting the money. My only concern is the few days between her locking him out and him being picked up. You know what - thinking about it, I'm calling troll. I'm saying this because anyone who knows anything about autism knows that change is not only bad, it's not accepted. So if this was real, the GF would lock the young man out and then what? Would she really expect him to quietly move along? No he'd be outside the property most likely drawing attention to the situation.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My girlfriend wants to lock her disabled son out of the house on his 18th birthday without finding him housing. However she plans to continue collecting his SSDI. He is illiterate and does not understand SSDI. If I am also living there, could I be liable for this if she is caught? FL", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Possibly for abetting financial abuse of a disabled person. Be a good guy and call the county's public guardian's office. They will coordinate with SSA to at least set up a representative payee for him and also to help with housing and placement in a group home. The boy is receiving SSI by the way. He wouldn't qualify for SSDI- you have to have 5 years or 20 quarters of wages paid into the Social Security system for SSDI. SSI pays less per month but comes with Medicaid. SSDI pays more but may get Medicare after a 30 month wait after date of disablement. I second the opinion expressed by a couple others. Your girlfriend is a POS", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My girlfriend wants to lock her disabled son out of the house on his 18th birthday without finding him housing. However she plans to continue collecting his SSDI. He is illiterate and does not understand SSDI. If I am also living there, could I be liable for this if she is caught? FL", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The good news, of course, that it will take no time at all for a homeless deaf autistic young man to come to the attention of the authorities. And none to soon I think based on this poster and the attitudes displayed by him and his \"girl friend\". And of course what that means is that she won't be keeping his SSI. With any luck she'll be charged with fraud or abuse, but even if she isn't, she's not going to be getting the money. My only concern is the few days between her locking him out and him being picked up. You know what - thinking about it, I'm calling troll. I'm saying this because anyone who knows anything about autism knows that change is not only bad, it's not accepted. So if this was real, the GF would lock the young man out and then what? Would she really expect him to quietly move along? No he'd be outside the property most likely drawing attention to the situation.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(FL) I'm a small scale chicken farmer, I sell at a local farmers market. Some guy wants to sue me because I wouldn't sell to him. I have all the relevant permits and licenses. The chickens are butchered at the farm, I don't sell live chickens. I was set up at my usual spot when a man approached me and asked to buy a chicken. I asked what weight, young or a hen. He asked for a younger bird any weight. I grab one out of the fridge and ask him if it's ok. He says that he wants a live chicken. I told him that I don't sell live chickens. He immediately became angry and demanded that I sell him a live one since he's \"seen people coming out of the farmers market with live chickens before\". I told him no again. He then tried to bribe me($100) saying he needs one badly and if I want I can drop one off at *near by beach* after the farms market closes. Again no. He said that he needs it due to his religion. The answer was still no. Then he started to accuse me of discriminating against him because of his religion. He threatened to sue me for it. I didn't sell it to him because it's against my rules, the rules of the farmers market and I'm pretty sure against the law. Could I be sued for this? Would a judge side with him?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The answer to \"can I be sued?\" is always yes. But, provided you don't do something stupid like miss the court date or ignore the suit, he can't win.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(FL) I'm a small scale chicken farmer, I sell at a local farmers market. Some guy wants to sue me because I wouldn't sell to him. I have all the relevant permits and licenses. The chickens are butchered at the farm, I don't sell live chickens. I was set up at my usual spot when a man approached me and asked to buy a chicken. I asked what weight, young or a hen. He asked for a younger bird any weight. I grab one out of the fridge and ask him if it's ok. He says that he wants a live chicken. I told him that I don't sell live chickens. He immediately became angry and demanded that I sell him a live one since he's \"seen people coming out of the farmers market with live chickens before\". I told him no again. He then tried to bribe me($100) saying he needs one badly and if I want I can drop one off at *near by beach* after the farms market closes. Again no. He said that he needs it due to his religion. The answer was still no. Then he started to accuse me of discriminating against him because of his religion. He threatened to sue me for it. I didn't sell it to him because it's against my rules, the rules of the farmers market and I'm pretty sure against the law. Could I be sued for this? Would a judge side with him?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you had the sale all ready to go through, then said \"no\" once you found out his religion, then maybe it could support a discrimination suit. If you never sell live chickens to anyone, the fact that this guy got dealt with according to policy isn't going to lead to a successful lawsuit.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(FL) I'm a small scale chicken farmer, I sell at a local farmers market. Some guy wants to sue me because I wouldn't sell to him. I have all the relevant permits and licenses. The chickens are butchered at the farm, I don't sell live chickens. I was set up at my usual spot when a man approached me and asked to buy a chicken. I asked what weight, young or a hen. He asked for a younger bird any weight. I grab one out of the fridge and ask him if it's ok. He says that he wants a live chicken. I told him that I don't sell live chickens. He immediately became angry and demanded that I sell him a live one since he's \"seen people coming out of the farmers market with live chickens before\". I told him no again. He then tried to bribe me($100) saying he needs one badly and if I want I can drop one off at *near by beach* after the farms market closes. Again no. He said that he needs it due to his religion. The answer was still no. Then he started to accuse me of discriminating against him because of his religion. He threatened to sue me for it. I didn't sell it to him because it's against my rules, the rules of the farmers market and I'm pretty sure against the law. Could I be sued for this? Would a judge side with him?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You can be sued, sure. But there's no judgement to be made against you. You've done nothing wrong, he has no case.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(FL) I'm a small scale chicken farmer, I sell at a local farmers market. Some guy wants to sue me because I wouldn't sell to him. I have all the relevant permits and licenses. The chickens are butchered at the farm, I don't sell live chickens. I was set up at my usual spot when a man approached me and asked to buy a chicken. I asked what weight, young or a hen. He asked for a younger bird any weight. I grab one out of the fridge and ask him if it's ok. He says that he wants a live chicken. I told him that I don't sell live chickens. He immediately became angry and demanded that I sell him a live one since he's \"seen people coming out of the farmers market with live chickens before\". I told him no again. He then tried to bribe me($100) saying he needs one badly and if I want I can drop one off at *near by beach* after the farms market closes. Again no. He said that he needs it due to his religion. The answer was still no. Then he started to accuse me of discriminating against him because of his religion. He threatened to sue me for it. I didn't sell it to him because it's against my rules, the rules of the farmers market and I'm pretty sure against the law. Could I be sued for this? Would a judge side with him?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you had the sale all ready to go through, then said \"no\" once you found out his religion, then maybe it could support a discrimination suit. If you never sell live chickens to anyone, the fact that this guy got dealt with according to policy isn't going to lead to a successful lawsuit.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(FL) I'm a small scale chicken farmer, I sell at a local farmers market. Some guy wants to sue me because I wouldn't sell to him. I have all the relevant permits and licenses. The chickens are butchered at the farm, I don't sell live chickens. I was set up at my usual spot when a man approached me and asked to buy a chicken. I asked what weight, young or a hen. He asked for a younger bird any weight. I grab one out of the fridge and ask him if it's ok. He says that he wants a live chicken. I told him that I don't sell live chickens. He immediately became angry and demanded that I sell him a live one since he's \"seen people coming out of the farmers market with live chickens before\". I told him no again. He then tried to bribe me($100) saying he needs one badly and if I want I can drop one off at *near by beach* after the farms market closes. Again no. He said that he needs it due to his religion. The answer was still no. Then he started to accuse me of discriminating against him because of his religion. He threatened to sue me for it. I didn't sell it to him because it's against my rules, the rules of the farmers market and I'm pretty sure against the law. Could I be sued for this? Would a judge side with him?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ignore him until he sues. If and when he does, which is unlikely, you have to respond.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(FL) I'm a small scale chicken farmer, I sell at a local farmers market. Some guy wants to sue me because I wouldn't sell to him. I have all the relevant permits and licenses. The chickens are butchered at the farm, I don't sell live chickens. I was set up at my usual spot when a man approached me and asked to buy a chicken. I asked what weight, young or a hen. He asked for a younger bird any weight. I grab one out of the fridge and ask him if it's ok. He says that he wants a live chicken. I told him that I don't sell live chickens. He immediately became angry and demanded that I sell him a live one since he's \"seen people coming out of the farmers market with live chickens before\". I told him no again. He then tried to bribe me($100) saying he needs one badly and if I want I can drop one off at *near by beach* after the farms market closes. Again no. He said that he needs it due to his religion. The answer was still no. Then he started to accuse me of discriminating against him because of his religion. He threatened to sue me for it. I didn't sell it to him because it's against my rules, the rules of the farmers market and I'm pretty sure against the law. Could I be sued for this? Would a judge side with him?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you had the sale all ready to go through, then said \"no\" once you found out his religion, then maybe it could support a discrimination suit. If you never sell live chickens to anyone, the fact that this guy got dealt with according to policy isn't going to lead to a successful lawsuit.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(FL) I'm a small scale chicken farmer, I sell at a local farmers market. Some guy wants to sue me because I wouldn't sell to him. I have all the relevant permits and licenses. The chickens are butchered at the farm, I don't sell live chickens. I was set up at my usual spot when a man approached me and asked to buy a chicken. I asked what weight, young or a hen. He asked for a younger bird any weight. I grab one out of the fridge and ask him if it's ok. He says that he wants a live chicken. I told him that I don't sell live chickens. He immediately became angry and demanded that I sell him a live one since he's \"seen people coming out of the farmers market with live chickens before\". I told him no again. He then tried to bribe me($100) saying he needs one badly and if I want I can drop one off at *near by beach* after the farms market closes. Again no. He said that he needs it due to his religion. The answer was still no. Then he started to accuse me of discriminating against him because of his religion. He threatened to sue me for it. I didn't sell it to him because it's against my rules, the rules of the farmers market and I'm pretty sure against the law. Could I be sued for this? Would a judge side with him?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You can be sued, sure. But there's no judgement to be made against you. You've done nothing wrong, he has no case.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(FL) I'm a small scale chicken farmer, I sell at a local farmers market. Some guy wants to sue me because I wouldn't sell to him. I have all the relevant permits and licenses. The chickens are butchered at the farm, I don't sell live chickens. I was set up at my usual spot when a man approached me and asked to buy a chicken. I asked what weight, young or a hen. He asked for a younger bird any weight. I grab one out of the fridge and ask him if it's ok. He says that he wants a live chicken. I told him that I don't sell live chickens. He immediately became angry and demanded that I sell him a live one since he's \"seen people coming out of the farmers market with live chickens before\". I told him no again. He then tried to bribe me($100) saying he needs one badly and if I want I can drop one off at *near by beach* after the farms market closes. Again no. He said that he needs it due to his religion. The answer was still no. Then he started to accuse me of discriminating against him because of his religion. He threatened to sue me for it. I didn't sell it to him because it's against my rules, the rules of the farmers market and I'm pretty sure against the law. Could I be sued for this? Would a judge side with him?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The answer to \"can I be sued?\" is always yes. But, provided you don't do something stupid like miss the court date or ignore the suit, he can't win.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(Fl)Some of my family wants to sue me for emotional damages after a DNA test. I recently did one of those DNA test that's tells you your ancestry. So did my mother so we're sure which parts are her family.Everything on my mom side came back as expected but on my dads side of the family a lot of East Asian came up. To anyone with eyes it wasn't surprising. A family with dark hair and eyes, short with small frames and almond shaped eyes. But they were convicted that they were 100% Irish and German. Some of them are low threatening to sue me for the emotional damage and trauma of finding out they're not. Can they do that? Does emotional damage have to involve something actually damaging, not just find out that great great great grandma was Asian?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I wonder if you can countersue for emotional damages associated with being subjected to their racism?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(Fl)Some of my family wants to sue me for emotional damages after a DNA test. I recently did one of those DNA test that's tells you your ancestry. So did my mother so we're sure which parts are her family.Everything on my mom side came back as expected but on my dads side of the family a lot of East Asian came up. To anyone with eyes it wasn't surprising. A family with dark hair and eyes, short with small frames and almond shaped eyes. But they were convicted that they were 100% Irish and German. Some of them are low threatening to sue me for the emotional damage and trauma of finding out they're not. Can they do that? Does emotional damage have to involve something actually damaging, not just find out that great great great grandma was Asian?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My great aunt had a hissy fit when my mom's results 7 or 8 years ago came back with a small percentage of sub saharan african. She apparently talked to a lawyer about making me mom pay for her to have a test to see if maybe it came from the other side of the family. Apparently the lawyer laughed her out of the office. Of course this is all second hand. My mom did do another test recently to confirm the other results. It came back 100% European (80% from the British isles or France), with some Iberian and Ionian peninsula thrown in for good measure.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(Fl)Some of my family wants to sue me for emotional damages after a DNA test. I recently did one of those DNA test that's tells you your ancestry. So did my mother so we're sure which parts are her family.Everything on my mom side came back as expected but on my dads side of the family a lot of East Asian came up. To anyone with eyes it wasn't surprising. A family with dark hair and eyes, short with small frames and almond shaped eyes. But they were convicted that they were 100% Irish and German. Some of them are low threatening to sue me for the emotional damage and trauma of finding out they're not. Can they do that? Does emotional damage have to involve something actually damaging, not just find out that great great great grandma was Asian?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I wonder if you can countersue for emotional damages associated with being subjected to their racism?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(Fl)Some of my family wants to sue me for emotional damages after a DNA test. I recently did one of those DNA test that's tells you your ancestry. So did my mother so we're sure which parts are her family.Everything on my mom side came back as expected but on my dads side of the family a lot of East Asian came up. To anyone with eyes it wasn't surprising. A family with dark hair and eyes, short with small frames and almond shaped eyes. But they were convicted that they were 100% Irish and German. Some of them are low threatening to sue me for the emotional damage and trauma of finding out they're not. Can they do that? Does emotional damage have to involve something actually damaging, not just find out that great great great grandma was Asian?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Those home DNA tests are also not terribly accurate, they test for certain haplogroups, which give you a very broad geographical area with a certain level of statistical confidence. (I have no idea what the various companies use, but if they're using anything less than a 95% confidence interval I wouldn't trust it at all). Also, Native Americans will often also register as East Asian for certain haplogroup markers, so they may have some native in them going back a long ways. This isn't exactly legal advice, more sciencey advice, but I think it's relevant.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(FL) I'm an author, a woman wants to sue me because my book gave her daughter nightmares. A woman wants to sue me for emotional distress because my book gave her daughter nightmares. It's a horror novel and is kept in the scary stories/horror section. I guess because it has vampires she was expecting a *Twilight* type story. The book is only popular locally so there aren't many online reviews for it. Apparently her teenage daughter has lost sleep and had trouble with school because of that and refuses to sleep in her own room without a light on because of my book. Can she sue me for her daughters emotional whatever because she bought her the book without reading the back cover?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Anyone can sue anyone for anything. Will she win? Almost certainly not.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(FL) I'm an author, a woman wants to sue me because my book gave her daughter nightmares. A woman wants to sue me for emotional distress because my book gave her daughter nightmares. It's a horror novel and is kept in the scary stories/horror section. I guess because it has vampires she was expecting a *Twilight* type story. The book is only popular locally so there aren't many online reviews for it. Apparently her teenage daughter has lost sleep and had trouble with school because of that and refuses to sleep in her own room without a light on because of my book. Can she sue me for her daughters emotional whatever because she bought her the book without reading the back cover?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "By all means encourage the lawsuit. I cannot think of better publicity for a horror novel. Can can sue you for anything. Will she win? very very unlikely.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(FL) I'm an author, a woman wants to sue me because my book gave her daughter nightmares. A woman wants to sue me for emotional distress because my book gave her daughter nightmares. It's a horror novel and is kept in the scary stories/horror section. I guess because it has vampires she was expecting a *Twilight* type story. The book is only popular locally so there aren't many online reviews for it. Apparently her teenage daughter has lost sleep and had trouble with school because of that and refuses to sleep in her own room without a light on because of my book. Can she sue me for her daughters emotional whatever because she bought her the book without reading the back cover?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Anyone can sue anyone for anything. Will she win? Almost certainly not.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(FL) I'm an author, a woman wants to sue me because my book gave her daughter nightmares. A woman wants to sue me for emotional distress because my book gave her daughter nightmares. It's a horror novel and is kept in the scary stories/horror section. I guess because it has vampires she was expecting a *Twilight* type story. The book is only popular locally so there aren't many online reviews for it. Apparently her teenage daughter has lost sleep and had trouble with school because of that and refuses to sleep in her own room without a light on because of my book. Can she sue me for her daughters emotional whatever because she bought her the book without reading the back cover?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Vampires are undead bloodsuckers, not sparkly boyfriends. She should sue Stephanie Meyer for lying to everyone.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[FL] My classmates parents want to sue me because of what happened in debate class. It's a public high school and we're in 11th grade. I'll refer to my classmate as John. At my school instead of having debate club they made it into an elective class. There's about 30 of us in class. Each class certain people are picked to debate each other on a topic. We're given the topic a week in advance to prepare. My topic this week was self driving cars and wether or not they would be beneficial. My position was against and Johns was for. At the end of class everyone voted and I won. That was Thursday. On Friday Johns mom came up to me and told me that they were going to sue me for emotional distress. Apparently since my argument focused mostly on poverty and the growing divide between the upper class and middle/working class it disturbed John. This is apparently what caused him to have some sort of crisis on Thursday night. He supposedly even had a panic attack. So can they sue me and what do I do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "They won't sue you. Unless we are missing some facts, no lawyer is going to take this case because it is arguably sanctionable to bring it, and it has low chance of success as well as a very high cost (experts, etc.) Also, to have an actionable emotional distress claim you need an actual underlying injury, usually a physical one. It's not a standalone claim. Just ignore it.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[FL] My classmates parents want to sue me because of what happened in debate class. It's a public high school and we're in 11th grade. I'll refer to my classmate as John. At my school instead of having debate club they made it into an elective class. There's about 30 of us in class. Each class certain people are picked to debate each other on a topic. We're given the topic a week in advance to prepare. My topic this week was self driving cars and wether or not they would be beneficial. My position was against and Johns was for. At the end of class everyone voted and I won. That was Thursday. On Friday Johns mom came up to me and told me that they were going to sue me for emotional distress. Apparently since my argument focused mostly on poverty and the growing divide between the upper class and middle/working class it disturbed John. This is apparently what caused him to have some sort of crisis on Thursday night. He supposedly even had a panic attack. So can they sue me and what do I do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Your debate was so good it emotionally devastated a high school junior? Damn son.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[FL] My classmates parents want to sue me because of what happened in debate class. It's a public high school and we're in 11th grade. I'll refer to my classmate as John. At my school instead of having debate club they made it into an elective class. There's about 30 of us in class. Each class certain people are picked to debate each other on a topic. We're given the topic a week in advance to prepare. My topic this week was self driving cars and wether or not they would be beneficial. My position was against and Johns was for. At the end of class everyone voted and I won. That was Thursday. On Friday Johns mom came up to me and told me that they were going to sue me for emotional distress. Apparently since my argument focused mostly on poverty and the growing divide between the upper class and middle/working class it disturbed John. This is apparently what caused him to have some sort of crisis on Thursday night. He supposedly even had a panic attack. So can they sue me and what do I do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "They can sue you. They have no chance of winning, imho. If they sue you make sure to respond. Edit: I don't think they can sue for emotional distress in small claims court. If they do sue it will probably be in big boy court. Only in Florida...", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[FL] My classmates parents want to sue me because of what happened in debate class. It's a public high school and we're in 11th grade. I'll refer to my classmate as John. At my school instead of having debate club they made it into an elective class. There's about 30 of us in class. Each class certain people are picked to debate each other on a topic. We're given the topic a week in advance to prepare. My topic this week was self driving cars and wether or not they would be beneficial. My position was against and Johns was for. At the end of class everyone voted and I won. That was Thursday. On Friday Johns mom came up to me and told me that they were going to sue me for emotional distress. Apparently since my argument focused mostly on poverty and the growing divide between the upper class and middle/working class it disturbed John. This is apparently what caused him to have some sort of crisis on Thursday night. He supposedly even had a panic attack. So can they sue me and what do I do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Your debate was so good it emotionally devastated a high school junior? Damn son.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[FL] My classmates parents want to sue me because of what happened in debate class. It's a public high school and we're in 11th grade. I'll refer to my classmate as John. At my school instead of having debate club they made it into an elective class. There's about 30 of us in class. Each class certain people are picked to debate each other on a topic. We're given the topic a week in advance to prepare. My topic this week was self driving cars and wether or not they would be beneficial. My position was against and Johns was for. At the end of class everyone voted and I won. That was Thursday. On Friday Johns mom came up to me and told me that they were going to sue me for emotional distress. Apparently since my argument focused mostly on poverty and the growing divide between the upper class and middle/working class it disturbed John. This is apparently what caused him to have some sort of crisis on Thursday night. He supposedly even had a panic attack. So can they sue me and what do I do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "They won't sue you. Unless we are missing some facts, no lawyer is going to take this case because it is arguably sanctionable to bring it, and it has low chance of success as well as a very high cost (experts, etc.) Also, to have an actionable emotional distress claim you need an actual underlying injury, usually a physical one. It's not a standalone claim. Just ignore it.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[FL] My classmates parents want to sue me because of what happened in debate class. It's a public high school and we're in 11th grade. I'll refer to my classmate as John. At my school instead of having debate club they made it into an elective class. There's about 30 of us in class. Each class certain people are picked to debate each other on a topic. We're given the topic a week in advance to prepare. My topic this week was self driving cars and wether or not they would be beneficial. My position was against and Johns was for. At the end of class everyone voted and I won. That was Thursday. On Friday Johns mom came up to me and told me that they were going to sue me for emotional distress. Apparently since my argument focused mostly on poverty and the growing divide between the upper class and middle/working class it disturbed John. This is apparently what caused him to have some sort of crisis on Thursday night. He supposedly even had a panic attack. So can they sue me and what do I do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh for fucks sake.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[FL] My classmates parents want to sue me because of what happened in debate class. It's a public high school and we're in 11th grade. I'll refer to my classmate as John. At my school instead of having debate club they made it into an elective class. There's about 30 of us in class. Each class certain people are picked to debate each other on a topic. We're given the topic a week in advance to prepare. My topic this week was self driving cars and wether or not they would be beneficial. My position was against and Johns was for. At the end of class everyone voted and I won. That was Thursday. On Friday Johns mom came up to me and told me that they were going to sue me for emotional distress. Apparently since my argument focused mostly on poverty and the growing divide between the upper class and middle/working class it disturbed John. This is apparently what caused him to have some sort of crisis on Thursday night. He supposedly even had a panic attack. So can they sue me and what do I do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "They can sue you. They have no chance of winning, imho. If they sue you make sure to respond. Edit: I don't think they can sue for emotional distress in small claims court. If they do sue it will probably be in big boy court. Only in Florida...", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[FL] My classmates parents want to sue me because of what happened in debate class. It's a public high school and we're in 11th grade. I'll refer to my classmate as John. At my school instead of having debate club they made it into an elective class. There's about 30 of us in class. Each class certain people are picked to debate each other on a topic. We're given the topic a week in advance to prepare. My topic this week was self driving cars and wether or not they would be beneficial. My position was against and Johns was for. At the end of class everyone voted and I won. That was Thursday. On Friday Johns mom came up to me and told me that they were going to sue me for emotional distress. Apparently since my argument focused mostly on poverty and the growing divide between the upper class and middle/working class it disturbed John. This is apparently what caused him to have some sort of crisis on Thursday night. He supposedly even had a panic attack. So can they sue me and what do I do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh for fucks sake.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[FL] My classmates parents want to sue me because of what happened in debate class. It's a public high school and we're in 11th grade. I'll refer to my classmate as John. At my school instead of having debate club they made it into an elective class. There's about 30 of us in class. Each class certain people are picked to debate each other on a topic. We're given the topic a week in advance to prepare. My topic this week was self driving cars and wether or not they would be beneficial. My position was against and Johns was for. At the end of class everyone voted and I won. That was Thursday. On Friday Johns mom came up to me and told me that they were going to sue me for emotional distress. Apparently since my argument focused mostly on poverty and the growing divide between the upper class and middle/working class it disturbed John. This is apparently what caused him to have some sort of crisis on Thursday night. He supposedly even had a panic attack. So can they sue me and what do I do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "They won't sue you. Unless we are missing some facts, no lawyer is going to take this case because it is arguably sanctionable to bring it, and it has low chance of success as well as a very high cost (experts, etc.) Also, to have an actionable emotional distress claim you need an actual underlying injury, usually a physical one. It's not a standalone claim. Just ignore it.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[FL] My classmates parents want to sue me because of what happened in debate class. It's a public high school and we're in 11th grade. I'll refer to my classmate as John. At my school instead of having debate club they made it into an elective class. There's about 30 of us in class. Each class certain people are picked to debate each other on a topic. We're given the topic a week in advance to prepare. My topic this week was self driving cars and wether or not they would be beneficial. My position was against and Johns was for. At the end of class everyone voted and I won. That was Thursday. On Friday Johns mom came up to me and told me that they were going to sue me for emotional distress. Apparently since my argument focused mostly on poverty and the growing divide between the upper class and middle/working class it disturbed John. This is apparently what caused him to have some sort of crisis on Thursday night. He supposedly even had a panic attack. So can they sue me and what do I do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ignore the mom. *Don't* ignore court papers. If you have to, show up to court and watch everyone laugh. Also, take pride in the fact that your argument was so good it apparently literally damaged the opposing side.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Landlord Gave Me 3 Day Notice To Pay Yesterday I told my landlord that I am withholding rent due to him to repair any of the many issues I've been asking for months. He served me with a \"3 day notice to pay or quit\". Basically I just want to know if he still has to formally evict me or will I have to be out in 3 days? Further more is there anyway to fight this because of the state of the house? If it helps at all I'm a Florida resident and I've lived there for over 4 years. I signed a lease the first year but despite my best efforts he ignored me any time I requested him to renew the lease", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1*", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Landlord Gave Me 3 Day Notice To Pay Yesterday I told my landlord that I am withholding rent due to him to repair any of the many issues I've been asking for months. He served me with a \"3 day notice to pay or quit\". Basically I just want to know if he still has to formally evict me or will I have to be out in 3 days? Further more is there anyway to fight this because of the state of the house? If it helps at all I'm a Florida resident and I've lived there for over 4 years. I signed a lease the first year but despite my best efforts he ignored me any time I requested him to renew the lease", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Florida ~~does not have provisions for withholding rent~~ provisions for withholding rent are quite limited and call for a specific 20 day notice. Did you provide that? If not, you need to pay or quit. Understand that if you quit, you still pay, *and* you have a record of being evicted. Don't do that.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Landlord Gave Me 3 Day Notice To Pay Yesterday I told my landlord that I am withholding rent due to him to repair any of the many issues I've been asking for months. He served me with a \"3 day notice to pay or quit\". Basically I just want to know if he still has to formally evict me or will I have to be out in 3 days? Further more is there anyway to fight this because of the state of the house? If it helps at all I'm a Florida resident and I've lived there for over 4 years. I signed a lease the first year but despite my best efforts he ignored me any time I requested him to renew the lease", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1*", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Landlord Gave Me 3 Day Notice To Pay Yesterday I told my landlord that I am withholding rent due to him to repair any of the many issues I've been asking for months. He served me with a \"3 day notice to pay or quit\". Basically I just want to know if he still has to formally evict me or will I have to be out in 3 days? Further more is there anyway to fight this because of the state of the house? If it helps at all I'm a Florida resident and I've lived there for over 4 years. I signed a lease the first year but despite my best efforts he ignored me any time I requested him to renew the lease", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Florida has limited grounds as to why tenant can't withhold rent. Are your repair issues covered?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Landlord Gave Me 3 Day Notice To Pay Yesterday I told my landlord that I am withholding rent due to him to repair any of the many issues I've been asking for months. He served me with a \"3 day notice to pay or quit\". Basically I just want to know if he still has to formally evict me or will I have to be out in 3 days? Further more is there anyway to fight this because of the state of the house? If it helps at all I'm a Florida resident and I've lived there for over 4 years. I signed a lease the first year but despite my best efforts he ignored me any time I requested him to renew the lease", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1*", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Landlord Gave Me 3 Day Notice To Pay Yesterday I told my landlord that I am withholding rent due to him to repair any of the many issues I've been asking for months. He served me with a \"3 day notice to pay or quit\". Basically I just want to know if he still has to formally evict me or will I have to be out in 3 days? Further more is there anyway to fight this because of the state of the house? If it helps at all I'm a Florida resident and I've lived there for over 4 years. I signed a lease the first year but despite my best efforts he ignored me any time I requested him to renew the lease", "role": "user" }, { "content": "1. Pay now. He’ll have to evict you if you don’t and can’t put you on the street. However you do not want that. It will make it incredibly difficult and expensive to rent again. 2. If you have issues with the property you can seek out local resources (tenant advocate boards are really helpful if available or a local attorney) to help you correctly and legally withhold rent, which is limited in Florida and requires certain steps. 3. If the repair items aren’t things that allow rent withholds, your only other option is to move (or cover the cost yourself if that’s cheaper than moving-but ensure you are allowed per previous lease to self improve those items).", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Landlord Gave Me 3 Day Notice To Pay Yesterday I told my landlord that I am withholding rent due to him to repair any of the many issues I've been asking for months. He served me with a \"3 day notice to pay or quit\". Basically I just want to know if he still has to formally evict me or will I have to be out in 3 days? Further more is there anyway to fight this because of the state of the house? If it helps at all I'm a Florida resident and I've lived there for over 4 years. I signed a lease the first year but despite my best efforts he ignored me any time I requested him to renew the lease", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment. *v0.1*", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Landlord Gave Me 3 Day Notice To Pay Yesterday I told my landlord that I am withholding rent due to him to repair any of the many issues I've been asking for months. He served me with a \"3 day notice to pay or quit\". Basically I just want to know if he still has to formally evict me or will I have to be out in 3 days? Further more is there anyway to fight this because of the state of the house? If it helps at all I'm a Florida resident and I've lived there for over 4 years. I signed a lease the first year but despite my best efforts he ignored me any time I requested him to renew the lease", "role": "user" }, { "content": "People are giving you good advice, but I haven’t seen a direct answer to your question. “Pay or quit” means that you have three days to either fix the issue (ie pay the rent), quit (move out), or if you don’t do either you will be evicted. Evicted does **not** mean the landlord tosses your stuff to the curb on the 3rd day. Evicted means that they still have to go to the court and there is a formal proceeding and if the eviction is upheld, the sheriff would remove you from the property. You really do not want this process to happen as it will cost you a bunch of money and be affect your ability to rent in the future. Also be aware as you stated you are now not under a lease, you are considered “month-to-month” (assuming you are paying rent once a month) and it appears that the landlord can also terminate the lease with 15 days notice before the end of the lease term (being one month on whatever day the rent is due). So even if you pay, your lease may still be terminated with 15 days notice to vacate, or you can also be evicted. You can also move out with 15 days notice. https://www.flsenate.gov/Laws/Statutes/2011/Chapter83/All", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[NJ] My landlord is trying to charge me $8K for a month to month rate because the wife and I gave 50 days notice to vacate rather than the 60 on the lease. (more detail in comments) So basically the title. Our lease ends on 6/2 and are required to give 60 days notice but due to a number of factors such as my wife being pregnant and us trying to find larger housing so we're not moving on her due date, we missed the window by 10 days. We received a notice from the property manager saying we're automatically enrolled in their month to month rates which is $8K a month when our actual monthly rate is under $2300. We want to settle this amicably but the asst. property manager is insistent that we're on the hook for the full $8K. We can't afford that at the moment with a baby on the way and they're not being reasonable at all! HELP! EDIT: I also want to mention that the month to month rate was never disclosed until 4/11, after the 60 day window. Would any housing judge enforce this?!?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Monthly rate will still be $2300, unless it was in the lease. Bigger question is how many months you're liable for. When did you give the notice? What does it say about the renewal term if you miss it? (Ie - just renews? month? year?) If you give clarity, I can explain in more detail. I do NJ LLT law.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "[NJ] My landlord is trying to charge me $8K for a month to month rate because the wife and I gave 50 days notice to vacate rather than the 60 on the lease. (more detail in comments) So basically the title. Our lease ends on 6/2 and are required to give 60 days notice but due to a number of factors such as my wife being pregnant and us trying to find larger housing so we're not moving on her due date, we missed the window by 10 days. We received a notice from the property manager saying we're automatically enrolled in their month to month rates which is $8K a month when our actual monthly rate is under $2300. We want to settle this amicably but the asst. property manager is insistent that we're on the hook for the full $8K. We can't afford that at the moment with a baby on the way and they're not being reasonable at all! HELP! EDIT: I also want to mention that the month to month rate was never disclosed until 4/11, after the 60 day window. Would any housing judge enforce this?!?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "http://www.state.nj.us/dca/divisions/codes/publications/pdf_lti/rnt_incrse_bultin.pdf Unconscionable Rent Increase\rIf the tenant refuses to pay the rent because the tenant believes the rent increase is unconscionable or unreasonable, the tenant may withhold a portion of the rent. The tenant may withhold the difference between the old rent rate and the new increased rate. However, the landlord may take the tenant to court based on non-payment of rent increase, if this happens, the tenant may argue to the judge that the increase is unconscionable. The landlord has the burden of proving to the court that the rent increase is fair and not unconscionable.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Can my mom sue me to get the house back? So last year my mom sold me her house to me because she was about to lose it to foreclosure. She went through bankruptcy twice and already lost another house. I bought so we wont lose it for the amount left on the mortgage. Now she accused me of stealing from her 50,000 dollars threatened to go to a lawyer and wants to kick me out. What can i do to protect myself because she is very unstable and irresponsible with her finances", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well don't think she would have any luck but the question is how was her mentality when she sold you the house. If they can prove she was a little loco and didn't do it if a sound mind they can void the sales and everything goes back the way it was. Now if you prove that even if she was on the way out that she made the deal so she wouldn't lose the house to the bank then that shows she still had a sound enough mind to problem solve. Chances are though unless she can prove that the sale was against her will then doubt she will get it back.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Can my mom sue me to get the house back? So last year my mom sold me her house to me because she was about to lose it to foreclosure. She went through bankruptcy twice and already lost another house. I bought so we wont lose it for the amount left on the mortgage. Now she accused me of stealing from her 50,000 dollars threatened to go to a lawyer and wants to kick me out. What can i do to protect myself because she is very unstable and irresponsible with her finances", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Not a lawyer: If she has a foreclosure on her record in the past, bankruptcy and obviously bad spending habits, it doesn't matter what language she speaks, bad money sense is bad money sense in a judges eye. If you have your name on the house, she's SOL. She can sue, but given previous information she'll most likely be fighting an uphill battle. Tell her that it isn't smart to try and bring this to court, as she'll almost definitely lose, and you WILL use all of her failings against her, even if it is dirty to do. You're trying to help her be responsible, she may not see it this way, but it's better she has a place to stay than to lose it in a foolish way.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Can my mom sue me to get the house back? So last year my mom sold me her house to me because she was about to lose it to foreclosure. She went through bankruptcy twice and already lost another house. I bought so we wont lose it for the amount left on the mortgage. Now she accused me of stealing from her 50,000 dollars threatened to go to a lawyer and wants to kick me out. What can i do to protect myself because she is very unstable and irresponsible with her finances", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What was the appraised value of the property at the time of the transaction?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Can my mom sue me to get the house back? So last year my mom sold me her house to me because she was about to lose it to foreclosure. She went through bankruptcy twice and already lost another house. I bought so we wont lose it for the amount left on the mortgage. Now she accused me of stealing from her 50,000 dollars threatened to go to a lawyer and wants to kick me out. What can i do to protect myself because she is very unstable and irresponsible with her finances", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Not a lawyer: If she has a foreclosure on her record in the past, bankruptcy and obviously bad spending habits, it doesn't matter what language she speaks, bad money sense is bad money sense in a judges eye. If you have your name on the house, she's SOL. She can sue, but given previous information she'll most likely be fighting an uphill battle. Tell her that it isn't smart to try and bring this to court, as she'll almost definitely lose, and you WILL use all of her failings against her, even if it is dirty to do. You're trying to help her be responsible, she may not see it this way, but it's better she has a place to stay than to lose it in a foolish way.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Can my mom sue me to get the house back? So last year my mom sold me her house to me because she was about to lose it to foreclosure. She went through bankruptcy twice and already lost another house. I bought so we wont lose it for the amount left on the mortgage. Now she accused me of stealing from her 50,000 dollars threatened to go to a lawyer and wants to kick me out. What can i do to protect myself because she is very unstable and irresponsible with her finances", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Where did she get that amount? How much did you pay her for the house? What was the value of the house? How much equity did she have?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Can my mom sue me to get the house back? So last year my mom sold me her house to me because she was about to lose it to foreclosure. She went through bankruptcy twice and already lost another house. I bought so we wont lose it for the amount left on the mortgage. Now she accused me of stealing from her 50,000 dollars threatened to go to a lawyer and wants to kick me out. What can i do to protect myself because she is very unstable and irresponsible with her finances", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Not a lawyer: If she has a foreclosure on her record in the past, bankruptcy and obviously bad spending habits, it doesn't matter what language she speaks, bad money sense is bad money sense in a judges eye. If you have your name on the house, she's SOL. She can sue, but given previous information she'll most likely be fighting an uphill battle. Tell her that it isn't smart to try and bring this to court, as she'll almost definitely lose, and you WILL use all of her failings against her, even if it is dirty to do. You're trying to help her be responsible, she may not see it this way, but it's better she has a place to stay than to lose it in a foolish way.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Can my mom sue me to get the house back? So last year my mom sold me her house to me because she was about to lose it to foreclosure. She went through bankruptcy twice and already lost another house. I bought so we wont lose it for the amount left on the mortgage. Now she accused me of stealing from her 50,000 dollars threatened to go to a lawyer and wants to kick me out. What can i do to protect myself because she is very unstable and irresponsible with her finances", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What was the appraised value of the property at the time of the transaction?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Can my mom sue me to get the house back? So last year my mom sold me her house to me because she was about to lose it to foreclosure. She went through bankruptcy twice and already lost another house. I bought so we wont lose it for the amount left on the mortgage. Now she accused me of stealing from her 50,000 dollars threatened to go to a lawyer and wants to kick me out. What can i do to protect myself because she is very unstable and irresponsible with her finances", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This seems like an empty threat. She is probably in another financial bind and she thinks threatening you will get you to give her some money. What money does she have to pay a lawyer to sue you? If she sues you without a lawyer, she’s going to have a really hard time figuring out what to do. You might actually be able to evict her.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Can my mom sue me to get the house back? So last year my mom sold me her house to me because she was about to lose it to foreclosure. She went through bankruptcy twice and already lost another house. I bought so we wont lose it for the amount left on the mortgage. Now she accused me of stealing from her 50,000 dollars threatened to go to a lawyer and wants to kick me out. What can i do to protect myself because she is very unstable and irresponsible with her finances", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Several questions. Who's idea was it for your mother to sell the house to you and have you pay arrears? What was the appraised value of tye home at time of sale? At what price did you purchase the home and how much did you pay in arrears? Did you agree to allow your mother to continue living in her home after you purchased it or did she plan to vacate after the sale closed?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Can my mom sue me to get the house back? So last year my mom sold me her house to me because she was about to lose it to foreclosure. She went through bankruptcy twice and already lost another house. I bought so we wont lose it for the amount left on the mortgage. Now she accused me of stealing from her 50,000 dollars threatened to go to a lawyer and wants to kick me out. What can i do to protect myself because she is very unstable and irresponsible with her finances", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This seems like an empty threat. She is probably in another financial bind and she thinks threatening you will get you to give her some money. What money does she have to pay a lawyer to sue you? If she sues you without a lawyer, she’s going to have a really hard time figuring out what to do. You might actually be able to evict her.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Landlord wants to raise rent/ evict because of tampons, and is threatening to search my feminine products. Can he do this? This is probably one of the most degrading things I've ever been through with a landlord. I live in an apartment complex in Iowa with 3 buildings and several units in each building. Plumbing and water are shared between units. This morning we opened our door to find a note threatening to raise the rent of everyone in our building by $50 a month because of flushed tampons and wipes clogging the sewer drain. The letter goes on to say that they will be comparing any tampons they find in the pipes to the tampons kept by women in each apartment unit and if the type matches, they will charge $500 to the tenant and evict. We got flyers a couple times last year about not flushing tampons, and one of those flyers is posted to the window of the laundry room/ office, so this is not the first notice. It seems like a scare tactic to me, but I want to be sure I'm not going to be evicted over just owning tampons, or punished over what other renters and their guests might do. I also don't want any of the men who own or work for this building rifling through my sanitary products. Is there anything I need to be concerned about and what can I do to protect myself?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Even if there was a way to easily identify the type of tampon, wouldn't this notice just urge the person responsibly to stock up on a different brand in order to not get caught? This doesn't make any sense. Probably a scare tactic indeed, since he knows he can't do much, but it's also understandable that this issue is frustrating and costly for him, after putting up warnings before.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Landlord wants to raise rent/ evict because of tampons, and is threatening to search my feminine products. Can he do this? This is probably one of the most degrading things I've ever been through with a landlord. I live in an apartment complex in Iowa with 3 buildings and several units in each building. Plumbing and water are shared between units. This morning we opened our door to find a note threatening to raise the rent of everyone in our building by $50 a month because of flushed tampons and wipes clogging the sewer drain. The letter goes on to say that they will be comparing any tampons they find in the pipes to the tampons kept by women in each apartment unit and if the type matches, they will charge $500 to the tenant and evict. We got flyers a couple times last year about not flushing tampons, and one of those flyers is posted to the window of the laundry room/ office, so this is not the first notice. It seems like a scare tactic to me, but I want to be sure I'm not going to be evicted over just owning tampons, or punished over what other renters and their guests might do. I also don't want any of the men who own or work for this building rifling through my sanitary products. Is there anything I need to be concerned about and what can I do to protect myself?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Waiting for the eviction proceeding in which the landlord brings in a used tampon as evidence.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "ATM stole my money and bank closed the claim On Jan 12, I went to a Regions branded atm and tried to withdraw $500. The machine went dark and debited my account but did not dispense the money. I just got notice that my claim was closed with no credit given. I was definitely ripped off and I’m wondering where do I go from here? What kind of lawyer would I need to talk to?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "File another claim, ask them to check security cameras and atm data log.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "ATM stole my money and bank closed the claim On Jan 12, I went to a Regions branded atm and tried to withdraw $500. The machine went dark and debited my account but did not dispense the money. I just got notice that my claim was closed with no credit given. I was definitely ripped off and I’m wondering where do I go from here? What kind of lawyer would I need to talk to?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Business lawyer here. The following is what I would do if I were you: I’d file complaints against the bank with the CFPB, FDIC, your state’s attorney general office, your state’s banking regulator, and any other government regulatory agency you can think of (even if they don’t have proper jurisdiction over the complaint). Also, for good measure, I’d file the complaint with the Better Business Bureau. I’d be sure to include specific identifying information such as my full name, the amount of money I tried to withdraw, the last four digits of the card I used, any identifying codes on my bank statement, and most importantly the exact date, time, atm number (if one is posted on the ATM), and atm location. Now, I wouldn’t spend time writing different complaints. I’d write one stellar complaint and send copies to all the agencies I listed above. What’s going to end up happening is that most of the agency complaints will be forwarded to the CFPB for processing due to jurisdiction issues and complaint processing agreements. However, the bank will get letters about the complaints, and the letters the other agencies send the bank that say “we’re forwarding the complaint to the CFBP” will grab the bank’s attention. If you do what I would do, you’d end up with someone serious from the bank whose goal is to resolve the problem you created for them by creating a regulatory complaint against them. This person has the power to and will review the ATM records, see the system crash at the same time as your transaction, and see that the ATM ended its day with a financial surplus of at least $500.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My mom claimed me as dependant and is taking the stimulus check. I'm 21 and she has not been monetarily supporting me in any way and she didnt have permission. Is there anything I can do about it? My crackhead mother has been stealing money from me for years and I'm ready to strike her for it. Is that a thing I can do on this case? Edit: I live in the state of Ohio", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Have you been filing your taxes as independent?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My mom claimed me as dependant and is taking the stimulus check. I'm 21 and she has not been monetarily supporting me in any way and she didnt have permission. Is there anything I can do about it? My crackhead mother has been stealing money from me for years and I'm ready to strike her for it. Is that a thing I can do on this case? Edit: I live in the state of Ohio", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Paper file your taxes claiming yourself. They may send a letter to CHM asking her to prove that you are her dependent. She shouldn't be able to prove that, and you'll get your stimulus. This may take three or four years though, IRS is overwhelmed.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My mom claimed me as dependant and is taking the stimulus check. I'm 21 and she has not been monetarily supporting me in any way and she didnt have permission. Is there anything I can do about it? My crackhead mother has been stealing money from me for years and I'm ready to strike her for it. Is that a thing I can do on this case? Edit: I live in the state of Ohio", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It will be helpful to also post to r/personalfinance (follow the posting rules so your post stays up). There have been several similar questions there, and they will tell you what form to fill out for the IRS to correct your dependent status & seek stimulus payment. The IRS can and will require repayment for fraudulently collected stimulus checks, so you won’t necessarily have to pursue you mother legally for the stimulus money. You also want to make sure you freeze your credit with all the major agencies to prevent her from opening credit lines in your name. If you haven’t already, please pull your credit reports to makes sure you recognize everything there. If you see anything you believe your mother to have opened in your name, you can file a police report for identity theft. If you live in the same area or have any concerns she may steal your info via mail, you can sign up to see a scan of your mail before it’s delivered via Informed Delivery at USPS.com", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My mom claimed me as dependant and is taking the stimulus check. I'm 21 and she has not been monetarily supporting me in any way and she didnt have permission. Is there anything I can do about it? My crackhead mother has been stealing money from me for years and I'm ready to strike her for it. Is that a thing I can do on this case? Edit: I live in the state of Ohio", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Paper file your taxes claiming yourself. They may send a letter to CHM asking her to prove that you are her dependent. She shouldn't be able to prove that, and you'll get your stimulus. This may take three or four years though, IRS is overwhelmed.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My mom claimed me as dependant and is taking the stimulus check. I'm 21 and she has not been monetarily supporting me in any way and she didnt have permission. Is there anything I can do about it? My crackhead mother has been stealing money from me for years and I'm ready to strike her for it. Is that a thing I can do on this case? Edit: I live in the state of Ohio", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It will be helpful to also post to r/personalfinance (follow the posting rules so your post stays up). There have been several similar questions there, and they will tell you what form to fill out for the IRS to correct your dependent status & seek stimulus payment. The IRS can and will require repayment for fraudulently collected stimulus checks, so you won’t necessarily have to pursue you mother legally for the stimulus money. You also want to make sure you freeze your credit with all the major agencies to prevent her from opening credit lines in your name. If you haven’t already, please pull your credit reports to makes sure you recognize everything there. If you see anything you believe your mother to have opened in your name, you can file a police report for identity theft. If you live in the same area or have any concerns she may steal your info via mail, you can sign up to see a scan of your mail before it’s delivered via Informed Delivery at USPS.com", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My mom claimed me as dependant and is taking the stimulus check. I'm 21 and she has not been monetarily supporting me in any way and she didnt have permission. Is there anything I can do about it? My crackhead mother has been stealing money from me for years and I'm ready to strike her for it. Is that a thing I can do on this case? Edit: I live in the state of Ohio", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Have you been filing your taxes as independent?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My mom claimed me as dependant and is taking the stimulus check. I'm 21 and she has not been monetarily supporting me in any way and she didnt have permission. Is there anything I can do about it? My crackhead mother has been stealing money from me for years and I'm ready to strike her for it. Is that a thing I can do on this case? Edit: I live in the state of Ohio", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It will be helpful to also post to r/personalfinance (follow the posting rules so your post stays up). There have been several similar questions there, and they will tell you what form to fill out for the IRS to correct your dependent status & seek stimulus payment. The IRS can and will require repayment for fraudulently collected stimulus checks, so you won’t necessarily have to pursue you mother legally for the stimulus money. You also want to make sure you freeze your credit with all the major agencies to prevent her from opening credit lines in your name. If you haven’t already, please pull your credit reports to makes sure you recognize everything there. If you see anything you believe your mother to have opened in your name, you can file a police report for identity theft. If you live in the same area or have any concerns she may steal your info via mail, you can sign up to see a scan of your mail before it’s delivered via Informed Delivery at USPS.com", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My mom claimed me as dependant and is taking the stimulus check. I'm 21 and she has not been monetarily supporting me in any way and she didnt have permission. Is there anything I can do about it? My crackhead mother has been stealing money from me for years and I'm ready to strike her for it. Is that a thing I can do on this case? Edit: I live in the state of Ohio", "role": "user" }, { "content": "https://www.thebalance.com/what-if-you-re-fraudulently-claimed-as-a-dependent-5084383", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My mom claimed me as dependant and is taking the stimulus check. I'm 21 and she has not been monetarily supporting me in any way and she didnt have permission. Is there anything I can do about it? My crackhead mother has been stealing money from me for years and I'm ready to strike her for it. Is that a thing I can do on this case? Edit: I live in the state of Ohio", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Here is a website where you can report Coronavirus-specific fraud to the Federal Government.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My mom claimed me as dependant and is taking the stimulus check. I'm 21 and she has not been monetarily supporting me in any way and she didnt have permission. Is there anything I can do about it? My crackhead mother has been stealing money from me for years and I'm ready to strike her for it. Is that a thing I can do on this case? Edit: I live in the state of Ohio", "role": "user" }, { "content": "https://www.thebalance.com/what-if-you-re-fraudulently-claimed-as-a-dependent-5084383", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm 16 and pregnant and about to give birth in 3 weeks. My mom says she controls who goes into the delivery room. I told her that it's my right to choose who I want in there. Is she right about being able to control who goes in there? (California) Sorry for formatting I'm on mobile. So I'm about to be due in 3 weeks and I want specific family members to be able to see me when I want and how long it should be because I know it's going to be really stressful. I tried to tell my mom but she said that I have no rights in who I say goes in or not and that since she's the parent that she decides who sees me and who doesn't. I'm just really worried about that because she will exclude almost all of my dad's side of the family (they've been separated and pretty much hate each other) even though they've helped out when my mom kicked me out of the house for a little over a month. I even told her that I don't want her there and I would rather be alone in the room if that makes everyone happy but she still says that I have no rights. I know it's really stupid but I don't want to stress out anymore than I already am and I just want to know ahead of time so that I can tell my doctor and the hospital before hand but I haven't been able to call them about this because I don't want to be told that \"she's my mother do what she says\" you know?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yet another vote to say talk to the nurses. Not only to give names of those who are allowed, but also to give detailed descriptions of those who are not. People may lie about their names. My understanding is that nurses will protect you, as the patient, and have seen it all before and know how disruptive an unwelcome guest can be. They will act in your interests so do talk to them as far in advance as possible, and reiterate it when you're admitted in labour. Edit: this applies to the time after birth too. You do not want your mother sweeping in to hold the baby while you're still recovering and exhausted and haven't even held baby yourself. The first few hours are for you and baby to do skin to skin bonding and to establish breastfeeding, in a calm environment. And to rest. If it was me I'd say no visitors (except the father or a trusted friend) for 2 hours after birth ,and if I'm napping don't disturb me, make it 4 hours. Minimum. Maybe ask the nurses to check with you every 2 hours (they can always say you're exhausted ) until you are ready for visitors. Do not feel guilty about this. The world will not end if your mother waits a few hours to see you and baby, no matter what she threatens. Do you have plans for after the birth? Be careful that she doesn't try to take over your child and to mother you both. Youre young but it is your child.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm 16 and pregnant and about to give birth in 3 weeks. My mom says she controls who goes into the delivery room. I told her that it's my right to choose who I want in there. Is she right about being able to control who goes in there? (California) Sorry for formatting I'm on mobile. So I'm about to be due in 3 weeks and I want specific family members to be able to see me when I want and how long it should be because I know it's going to be really stressful. I tried to tell my mom but she said that I have no rights in who I say goes in or not and that since she's the parent that she decides who sees me and who doesn't. I'm just really worried about that because she will exclude almost all of my dad's side of the family (they've been separated and pretty much hate each other) even though they've helped out when my mom kicked me out of the house for a little over a month. I even told her that I don't want her there and I would rather be alone in the room if that makes everyone happy but she still says that I have no rights. I know it's really stupid but I don't want to stress out anymore than I already am and I just want to know ahead of time so that I can tell my doctor and the hospital before hand but I haven't been able to call them about this because I don't want to be told that \"she's my mother do what she says\" you know?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I am not a lawyer, but I am a pediatrician. In most states (and including California), pregnant minors are emancipated for medical care of the pregnancy. That means that **only you** and not your mother have the legal right to consent and control your medical care related to the pregnancy. See here", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm 16 and pregnant and about to give birth in 3 weeks. My mom says she controls who goes into the delivery room. I told her that it's my right to choose who I want in there. Is she right about being able to control who goes in there? (California) Sorry for formatting I'm on mobile. So I'm about to be due in 3 weeks and I want specific family members to be able to see me when I want and how long it should be because I know it's going to be really stressful. I tried to tell my mom but she said that I have no rights in who I say goes in or not and that since she's the parent that she decides who sees me and who doesn't. I'm just really worried about that because she will exclude almost all of my dad's side of the family (they've been separated and pretty much hate each other) even though they've helped out when my mom kicked me out of the house for a little over a month. I even told her that I don't want her there and I would rather be alone in the room if that makes everyone happy but she still says that I have no rights. I know it's really stupid but I don't want to stress out anymore than I already am and I just want to know ahead of time so that I can tell my doctor and the hospital before hand but I haven't been able to call them about this because I don't want to be told that \"she's my mother do what she says\" you know?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You may be 16, but a minor who has given birth is considered emancipated for most purposes. You are able to make your own decisions regarding this. Most states also have laws saying that minors are in charge of their own reproductive care (which also birthing a child). Many hospitals do have rules about how many people can be in the delivery room at one time - no crowds or entourages. However, you get to dictate who gets to be there and for how long. If your mother is attempting to intimidate you, calmly and clearly explain your situation to your doctor and let the hospital know ahead of time that you don't want her there. They have to abide by your wishes. You are by far not the first minor giving birth in the midst of family drama - the hospitals deals with this all the time. Just be very clear that she is not welcome under any circumstances and stick to it. It may be a tough pill for your mom to swallow, but she will no longer have veto power over your decisions once the baby arrives. Now, she may have leverage to ensure your compliance with her wishes- giving you a place to stay, paying for some of your expenses, etc. However, she cannot overrule your decisions once you become a parent - just something to think about.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm 16 and pregnant and about to give birth in 3 weeks. My mom says she controls who goes into the delivery room. I told her that it's my right to choose who I want in there. Is she right about being able to control who goes in there? (California) Sorry for formatting I'm on mobile. So I'm about to be due in 3 weeks and I want specific family members to be able to see me when I want and how long it should be because I know it's going to be really stressful. I tried to tell my mom but she said that I have no rights in who I say goes in or not and that since she's the parent that she decides who sees me and who doesn't. I'm just really worried about that because she will exclude almost all of my dad's side of the family (they've been separated and pretty much hate each other) even though they've helped out when my mom kicked me out of the house for a little over a month. I even told her that I don't want her there and I would rather be alone in the room if that makes everyone happy but she still says that I have no rights. I know it's really stupid but I don't want to stress out anymore than I already am and I just want to know ahead of time so that I can tell my doctor and the hospital before hand but I haven't been able to call them about this because I don't want to be told that \"she's my mother do what she says\" you know?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I am not a lawyer, but I am a pediatrician. In most states (and including California), pregnant minors are emancipated for medical care of the pregnancy. That means that **only you** and not your mother have the legal right to consent and control your medical care related to the pregnancy. See here", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm 16 and pregnant and about to give birth in 3 weeks. My mom says she controls who goes into the delivery room. I told her that it's my right to choose who I want in there. Is she right about being able to control who goes in there? (California) Sorry for formatting I'm on mobile. So I'm about to be due in 3 weeks and I want specific family members to be able to see me when I want and how long it should be because I know it's going to be really stressful. I tried to tell my mom but she said that I have no rights in who I say goes in or not and that since she's the parent that she decides who sees me and who doesn't. I'm just really worried about that because she will exclude almost all of my dad's side of the family (they've been separated and pretty much hate each other) even though they've helped out when my mom kicked me out of the house for a little over a month. I even told her that I don't want her there and I would rather be alone in the room if that makes everyone happy but she still says that I have no rights. I know it's really stupid but I don't want to stress out anymore than I already am and I just want to know ahead of time so that I can tell my doctor and the hospital before hand but I haven't been able to call them about this because I don't want to be told that \"she's my mother do what she says\" you know?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pull your doctor aside and explain to them. Also talk to your nurses. You have control here, your mom has nothing.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm 16 and pregnant and about to give birth in 3 weeks. My mom says she controls who goes into the delivery room. I told her that it's my right to choose who I want in there. Is she right about being able to control who goes in there? (California) Sorry for formatting I'm on mobile. So I'm about to be due in 3 weeks and I want specific family members to be able to see me when I want and how long it should be because I know it's going to be really stressful. I tried to tell my mom but she said that I have no rights in who I say goes in or not and that since she's the parent that she decides who sees me and who doesn't. I'm just really worried about that because she will exclude almost all of my dad's side of the family (they've been separated and pretty much hate each other) even though they've helped out when my mom kicked me out of the house for a little over a month. I even told her that I don't want her there and I would rather be alone in the room if that makes everyone happy but she still says that I have no rights. I know it's really stupid but I don't want to stress out anymore than I already am and I just want to know ahead of time so that I can tell my doctor and the hospital before hand but I haven't been able to call them about this because I don't want to be told that \"she's my mother do what she says\" you know?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I am not a lawyer, but I am a pediatrician. In most states (and including California), pregnant minors are emancipated for medical care of the pregnancy. That means that **only you** and not your mother have the legal right to consent and control your medical care related to the pregnancy. See here", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm 16 and pregnant and about to give birth in 3 weeks. My mom says she controls who goes into the delivery room. I told her that it's my right to choose who I want in there. Is she right about being able to control who goes in there? (California) Sorry for formatting I'm on mobile. So I'm about to be due in 3 weeks and I want specific family members to be able to see me when I want and how long it should be because I know it's going to be really stressful. I tried to tell my mom but she said that I have no rights in who I say goes in or not and that since she's the parent that she decides who sees me and who doesn't. I'm just really worried about that because she will exclude almost all of my dad's side of the family (they've been separated and pretty much hate each other) even though they've helped out when my mom kicked me out of the house for a little over a month. I even told her that I don't want her there and I would rather be alone in the room if that makes everyone happy but she still says that I have no rights. I know it's really stupid but I don't want to stress out anymore than I already am and I just want to know ahead of time so that I can tell my doctor and the hospital before hand but I haven't been able to call them about this because I don't want to be told that \"she's my mother do what she says\" you know?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "As others have stated, talk to someone at the hospital. this actually comes up a lot and they are used to telling people no or taking control. also, if the hospital that you will be delivering at has a birthing class, see if you can sign up. sometimes they have 1-day ones. it will get you familiar with their policies and may allow you to ask the nurses teaching the class how you can arrange this.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm 16 and pregnant and about to give birth in 3 weeks. My mom says she controls who goes into the delivery room. I told her that it's my right to choose who I want in there. Is she right about being able to control who goes in there? (California) Sorry for formatting I'm on mobile. So I'm about to be due in 3 weeks and I want specific family members to be able to see me when I want and how long it should be because I know it's going to be really stressful. I tried to tell my mom but she said that I have no rights in who I say goes in or not and that since she's the parent that she decides who sees me and who doesn't. I'm just really worried about that because she will exclude almost all of my dad's side of the family (they've been separated and pretty much hate each other) even though they've helped out when my mom kicked me out of the house for a little over a month. I even told her that I don't want her there and I would rather be alone in the room if that makes everyone happy but she still says that I have no rights. I know it's really stupid but I don't want to stress out anymore than I already am and I just want to know ahead of time so that I can tell my doctor and the hospital before hand but I haven't been able to call them about this because I don't want to be told that \"she's my mother do what she says\" you know?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I am not a lawyer, but I am a pediatrician. In most states (and including California), pregnant minors are emancipated for medical care of the pregnancy. That means that **only you** and not your mother have the legal right to consent and control your medical care related to the pregnancy. See here", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm 16 and pregnant and about to give birth in 3 weeks. My mom says she controls who goes into the delivery room. I told her that it's my right to choose who I want in there. Is she right about being able to control who goes in there? (California) Sorry for formatting I'm on mobile. So I'm about to be due in 3 weeks and I want specific family members to be able to see me when I want and how long it should be because I know it's going to be really stressful. I tried to tell my mom but she said that I have no rights in who I say goes in or not and that since she's the parent that she decides who sees me and who doesn't. I'm just really worried about that because she will exclude almost all of my dad's side of the family (they've been separated and pretty much hate each other) even though they've helped out when my mom kicked me out of the house for a little over a month. I even told her that I don't want her there and I would rather be alone in the room if that makes everyone happy but she still says that I have no rights. I know it's really stupid but I don't want to stress out anymore than I already am and I just want to know ahead of time so that I can tell my doctor and the hospital before hand but I haven't been able to call them about this because I don't want to be told that \"she's my mother do what she says\" you know?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The parents control. Not the grandparents. You can even tell your own mother not to be there. If all else fails call the hospital to confirm.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm 16 and pregnant and about to give birth in 3 weeks. My mom says she controls who goes into the delivery room. I told her that it's my right to choose who I want in there. Is she right about being able to control who goes in there? (California) Sorry for formatting I'm on mobile. So I'm about to be due in 3 weeks and I want specific family members to be able to see me when I want and how long it should be because I know it's going to be really stressful. I tried to tell my mom but she said that I have no rights in who I say goes in or not and that since she's the parent that she decides who sees me and who doesn't. I'm just really worried about that because she will exclude almost all of my dad's side of the family (they've been separated and pretty much hate each other) even though they've helped out when my mom kicked me out of the house for a little over a month. I even told her that I don't want her there and I would rather be alone in the room if that makes everyone happy but she still says that I have no rights. I know it's really stupid but I don't want to stress out anymore than I already am and I just want to know ahead of time so that I can tell my doctor and the hospital before hand but I haven't been able to call them about this because I don't want to be told that \"she's my mother do what she says\" you know?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I am not a lawyer, but I am a pediatrician. In most states (and including California), pregnant minors are emancipated for medical care of the pregnancy. That means that **only you** and not your mother have the legal right to consent and control your medical care related to the pregnancy. See here", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My former landlord just contacted me saying that he did found an old rent check that he allowed to go stale. He was unable to deposit it because it was written over 2 years ago. He wants me to write him another check. Am I required to do so? (Oregon, USA) I lived in that house for about 2 years on a month to month basis. I paid my rent monthly in the form a personal check made out to my landlord. He usually deposited them within one month, however he somehow forgot or neglected to deposit a check from 2015, and just noticed it this week. I never noticed that he didn't deposit the check. My former landlord sent me a photo of the check, so I have proof that I wrote it. He informed me that the bank would not honor the check because of its age, and that he'd like me to write another. I checked my bank statements, and I know that the check was not deposited. I would guess that there's some law saying what my obligation is here, but I couldn't find it. All I found was that banks generally don't honor checks that are over 6 months old, however I could not find anything regarding whether or not I still legally owe him money. I feel that I upheld my end of the deal by writing the check and it's his fault that he didn't deposit it. Am I required to write another check? Can someone hold onto a check indefinitely to deposit whenever they wish, or does the debt \"expire\" after some time? Thanks for your help.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If the amount you owed was so low that you could somehow just *not notice* the check hadn't been cashed for two years, you can afford to pay him.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My former landlord just contacted me saying that he did found an old rent check that he allowed to go stale. He was unable to deposit it because it was written over 2 years ago. He wants me to write him another check. Am I required to do so? (Oregon, USA) I lived in that house for about 2 years on a month to month basis. I paid my rent monthly in the form a personal check made out to my landlord. He usually deposited them within one month, however he somehow forgot or neglected to deposit a check from 2015, and just noticed it this week. I never noticed that he didn't deposit the check. My former landlord sent me a photo of the check, so I have proof that I wrote it. He informed me that the bank would not honor the check because of its age, and that he'd like me to write another. I checked my bank statements, and I know that the check was not deposited. I would guess that there's some law saying what my obligation is here, but I couldn't find it. All I found was that banks generally don't honor checks that are over 6 months old, however I could not find anything regarding whether or not I still legally owe him money. I feel that I upheld my end of the deal by writing the check and it's his fault that he didn't deposit it. Am I required to write another check? Can someone hold onto a check indefinitely to deposit whenever they wish, or does the debt \"expire\" after some time? Thanks for your help.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Legally, as abortion_layaway has stated, you probably are in the clear. However, if your relationship was good and he didn't screw you over with regard to security deposit and the like, it would be morally good to pay him. I would ask for the original check back in return as he could probably deposit in an ATM and it would go through without ever being noticed by a human if your account is still open. If he's local, perhaps do the exchange in person.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My former landlord just contacted me saying that he did found an old rent check that he allowed to go stale. He was unable to deposit it because it was written over 2 years ago. He wants me to write him another check. Am I required to do so? (Oregon, USA) I lived in that house for about 2 years on a month to month basis. I paid my rent monthly in the form a personal check made out to my landlord. He usually deposited them within one month, however he somehow forgot or neglected to deposit a check from 2015, and just noticed it this week. I never noticed that he didn't deposit the check. My former landlord sent me a photo of the check, so I have proof that I wrote it. He informed me that the bank would not honor the check because of its age, and that he'd like me to write another. I checked my bank statements, and I know that the check was not deposited. I would guess that there's some law saying what my obligation is here, but I couldn't find it. All I found was that banks generally don't honor checks that are over 6 months old, however I could not find anything regarding whether or not I still legally owe him money. I feel that I upheld my end of the deal by writing the check and it's his fault that he didn't deposit it. Am I required to write another check? Can someone hold onto a check indefinitely to deposit whenever they wish, or does the debt \"expire\" after some time? Thanks for your help.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If the amount you owed was so low that you could somehow just *not notice* the check hadn't been cashed for two years, you can afford to pay him.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My former landlord just contacted me saying that he did found an old rent check that he allowed to go stale. He was unable to deposit it because it was written over 2 years ago. He wants me to write him another check. Am I required to do so? (Oregon, USA) I lived in that house for about 2 years on a month to month basis. I paid my rent monthly in the form a personal check made out to my landlord. He usually deposited them within one month, however he somehow forgot or neglected to deposit a check from 2015, and just noticed it this week. I never noticed that he didn't deposit the check. My former landlord sent me a photo of the check, so I have proof that I wrote it. He informed me that the bank would not honor the check because of its age, and that he'd like me to write another. I checked my bank statements, and I know that the check was not deposited. I would guess that there's some law saying what my obligation is here, but I couldn't find it. All I found was that banks generally don't honor checks that are over 6 months old, however I could not find anything regarding whether or not I still legally owe him money. I feel that I upheld my end of the deal by writing the check and it's his fault that he didn't deposit it. Am I required to write another check? Can someone hold onto a check indefinitely to deposit whenever they wish, or does the debt \"expire\" after some time? Thanks for your help.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Have him send you the old cheque back and write him a new one if you left on good terms.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My former landlord just contacted me saying that he did found an old rent check that he allowed to go stale. He was unable to deposit it because it was written over 2 years ago. He wants me to write him another check. Am I required to do so? (Oregon, USA) I lived in that house for about 2 years on a month to month basis. I paid my rent monthly in the form a personal check made out to my landlord. He usually deposited them within one month, however he somehow forgot or neglected to deposit a check from 2015, and just noticed it this week. I never noticed that he didn't deposit the check. My former landlord sent me a photo of the check, so I have proof that I wrote it. He informed me that the bank would not honor the check because of its age, and that he'd like me to write another. I checked my bank statements, and I know that the check was not deposited. I would guess that there's some law saying what my obligation is here, but I couldn't find it. All I found was that banks generally don't honor checks that are over 6 months old, however I could not find anything regarding whether or not I still legally owe him money. I feel that I upheld my end of the deal by writing the check and it's his fault that he didn't deposit it. Am I required to write another check? Can someone hold onto a check indefinitely to deposit whenever they wish, or does the debt \"expire\" after some time? Thanks for your help.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If the amount you owed was so low that you could somehow just *not notice* the check hadn't been cashed for two years, you can afford to pay him.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My former landlord just contacted me saying that he did found an old rent check that he allowed to go stale. He was unable to deposit it because it was written over 2 years ago. He wants me to write him another check. Am I required to do so? (Oregon, USA) I lived in that house for about 2 years on a month to month basis. I paid my rent monthly in the form a personal check made out to my landlord. He usually deposited them within one month, however he somehow forgot or neglected to deposit a check from 2015, and just noticed it this week. I never noticed that he didn't deposit the check. My former landlord sent me a photo of the check, so I have proof that I wrote it. He informed me that the bank would not honor the check because of its age, and that he'd like me to write another. I checked my bank statements, and I know that the check was not deposited. I would guess that there's some law saying what my obligation is here, but I couldn't find it. All I found was that banks generally don't honor checks that are over 6 months old, however I could not find anything regarding whether or not I still legally owe him money. I feel that I upheld my end of the deal by writing the check and it's his fault that he didn't deposit it. Am I required to write another check? Can someone hold onto a check indefinitely to deposit whenever they wish, or does the debt \"expire\" after some time? Thanks for your help.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look at your account and just make sure that that check # was not cashed just in case btw.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My former landlord just contacted me saying that he did found an old rent check that he allowed to go stale. He was unable to deposit it because it was written over 2 years ago. He wants me to write him another check. Am I required to do so? (Oregon, USA) I lived in that house for about 2 years on a month to month basis. I paid my rent monthly in the form a personal check made out to my landlord. He usually deposited them within one month, however he somehow forgot or neglected to deposit a check from 2015, and just noticed it this week. I never noticed that he didn't deposit the check. My former landlord sent me a photo of the check, so I have proof that I wrote it. He informed me that the bank would not honor the check because of its age, and that he'd like me to write another. I checked my bank statements, and I know that the check was not deposited. I would guess that there's some law saying what my obligation is here, but I couldn't find it. All I found was that banks generally don't honor checks that are over 6 months old, however I could not find anything regarding whether or not I still legally owe him money. I feel that I upheld my end of the deal by writing the check and it's his fault that he didn't deposit it. Am I required to write another check? Can someone hold onto a check indefinitely to deposit whenever they wish, or does the debt \"expire\" after some time? Thanks for your help.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "In addition to the other advice in this thread, definitely DON'T just ignore anything sent to you that relates to the situation simply because you have the legal upper hand. For example, if LL did file a lawsuit and you did not respond to the complaint or show up at the hearing, a default judgement could be entered against you and then you would be obligated to pay. That could be appealed but, imo, not worth the hassle of not reading your mail. Best of luck if LL escalates.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My former landlord just contacted me saying that he did found an old rent check that he allowed to go stale. He was unable to deposit it because it was written over 2 years ago. He wants me to write him another check. Am I required to do so? (Oregon, USA) I lived in that house for about 2 years on a month to month basis. I paid my rent monthly in the form a personal check made out to my landlord. He usually deposited them within one month, however he somehow forgot or neglected to deposit a check from 2015, and just noticed it this week. I never noticed that he didn't deposit the check. My former landlord sent me a photo of the check, so I have proof that I wrote it. He informed me that the bank would not honor the check because of its age, and that he'd like me to write another. I checked my bank statements, and I know that the check was not deposited. I would guess that there's some law saying what my obligation is here, but I couldn't find it. All I found was that banks generally don't honor checks that are over 6 months old, however I could not find anything regarding whether or not I still legally owe him money. I feel that I upheld my end of the deal by writing the check and it's his fault that he didn't deposit it. Am I required to write another check? Can someone hold onto a check indefinitely to deposit whenever they wish, or does the debt \"expire\" after some time? Thanks for your help.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look at your account and just make sure that that check # was not cashed just in case btw.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm being sued for \"parental alienation\" of my (technically) adult children by my ex. How worried should I be right now? CA I’m the mom of two amazing 18 year olds, and recently divorced. (Yay!!) Coming from a divorced family, I knew how important it was to encourage my kids to stay close with their dad, because no matter how difficult he can be sometimes (or no matter how I feel about him), he’s still their dad. Since I was the one who initiated the divorce, I moved out of the family home and into a smaller house with my sister, which had two attic rooms for the kids, as I of course hoped they would visit frequently. Instead, they decided on moving in with me and their aunt, and we’ve just loved having them with us for their last year of school. Since the twins turned 18 back in August, there was no custody assigned, and since they were already in their senior year, we opted to forgo discussing child support. After the three of us left the old house in September, the kids would go back every week for dinner with their dad. They always came back upset, and in the beginning I encouraged them to go for the aforementioned reason, but as time went on, they said that the visits were getting more and more difficult, and they decided together to stop going, which I didn’t push, as they’re adults now, and I more than understand not wanting to spend quality time with my ex. They continued to attend family holidays with their father and grandmother, as they were extremely close to my wonderful former mother in law. Sadly, my former MIL passed away shortly before Easter. Since their grandmother wouldn’t be there, the kids didn’t want to do Easter with their dad. This didn’t seem all too crazy to me. I didn't really put together at the time that this meant they didn't really have any contact with their dad. Yesterday, I was served with a lawsuit for “parental alienation”. When I called my ex, confused, he told me that since the kids refused to speak to/spend time with him, the “only possible explanation” is that I “purposefully and over the course of several months plotted to sever the bonds between a father and his children”. The conversation predictably went south and I hung up. I called the lawyer I used to represent me in the divorce, and she told me that since I’ve been served, that I have to respond, but that I “shouldn’t be too worried” because my ex is “clearly a moron” and “has no standing”. She then said that she couldn’t discuss it further without billing me, and gave me a ballpark for how much it would cost to have her defend me against the suit. I absolutely cannot afford it. I am completely tapped out after the divorce. I know that if I asked my sister, she’d be happy to help as much as she could, and we could probably scrape it together. But I hate hate hate the idea of asking unless I absolutely have to. So my question is, do I have to? Under the circumstances, should I be worried about this? I know that my ex will represent himself, as he did in the divorce, since he doesn’t trust lawyers. That went pretty badly for him last time (he didn’t get any of what he asked for, got scolded by the judge for his bad behavior, and he was also ordered to help me and the kids pay for their college). Would it be a terrible idea to just go and try to defend myself? I feel like I have ample evidence that I tried to help my kids keep a relationship with their dad, months and months worth of texts. If I asked them, I know they would also give me their text histories with their dad, which I know firsthand is…really mean. (He gets flustered very easily and becomes, in my opinion, verbally abusive when upset, hence the divorce.) I feel like if I go in front of a judge with printouts of all the evidence I have, am clear and polite, and read up on the basics of court procedure, I’ll be ok. My ex is…let’s just say bombastic enough that I think just his behavior will be enough to show a judge that our kids have ample independent reason to keep him at arm’s length. Is this a stupid plan? Do I NEED to beg money to pay for a lawyer, or is this a pointless enough lawsuit that I can hand it myself, under the circumstances? Many thanks for reading. Tl;dr: my 18 year olds don't want to have a relationship with my not-so-nice ex, so I'm being sued for parental alienation. Can I defend myself against this, or do I need to beg money from family and pay a lawyer?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Although many others have said you would be stupid to have a lawyer, for silly issues like this that are going to be handled in family court, often with a judge who is familiar with your case, a lawyer is not necessary unless he too has a lawyer.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm being sued for \"parental alienation\" of my (technically) adult children by my ex. How worried should I be right now? CA I’m the mom of two amazing 18 year olds, and recently divorced. (Yay!!) Coming from a divorced family, I knew how important it was to encourage my kids to stay close with their dad, because no matter how difficult he can be sometimes (or no matter how I feel about him), he’s still their dad. Since I was the one who initiated the divorce, I moved out of the family home and into a smaller house with my sister, which had two attic rooms for the kids, as I of course hoped they would visit frequently. Instead, they decided on moving in with me and their aunt, and we’ve just loved having them with us for their last year of school. Since the twins turned 18 back in August, there was no custody assigned, and since they were already in their senior year, we opted to forgo discussing child support. After the three of us left the old house in September, the kids would go back every week for dinner with their dad. They always came back upset, and in the beginning I encouraged them to go for the aforementioned reason, but as time went on, they said that the visits were getting more and more difficult, and they decided together to stop going, which I didn’t push, as they’re adults now, and I more than understand not wanting to spend quality time with my ex. They continued to attend family holidays with their father and grandmother, as they were extremely close to my wonderful former mother in law. Sadly, my former MIL passed away shortly before Easter. Since their grandmother wouldn’t be there, the kids didn’t want to do Easter with their dad. This didn’t seem all too crazy to me. I didn't really put together at the time that this meant they didn't really have any contact with their dad. Yesterday, I was served with a lawsuit for “parental alienation”. When I called my ex, confused, he told me that since the kids refused to speak to/spend time with him, the “only possible explanation” is that I “purposefully and over the course of several months plotted to sever the bonds between a father and his children”. The conversation predictably went south and I hung up. I called the lawyer I used to represent me in the divorce, and she told me that since I’ve been served, that I have to respond, but that I “shouldn’t be too worried” because my ex is “clearly a moron” and “has no standing”. She then said that she couldn’t discuss it further without billing me, and gave me a ballpark for how much it would cost to have her defend me against the suit. I absolutely cannot afford it. I am completely tapped out after the divorce. I know that if I asked my sister, she’d be happy to help as much as she could, and we could probably scrape it together. But I hate hate hate the idea of asking unless I absolutely have to. So my question is, do I have to? Under the circumstances, should I be worried about this? I know that my ex will represent himself, as he did in the divorce, since he doesn’t trust lawyers. That went pretty badly for him last time (he didn’t get any of what he asked for, got scolded by the judge for his bad behavior, and he was also ordered to help me and the kids pay for their college). Would it be a terrible idea to just go and try to defend myself? I feel like I have ample evidence that I tried to help my kids keep a relationship with their dad, months and months worth of texts. If I asked them, I know they would also give me their text histories with their dad, which I know firsthand is…really mean. (He gets flustered very easily and becomes, in my opinion, verbally abusive when upset, hence the divorce.) I feel like if I go in front of a judge with printouts of all the evidence I have, am clear and polite, and read up on the basics of court procedure, I’ll be ok. My ex is…let’s just say bombastic enough that I think just his behavior will be enough to show a judge that our kids have ample independent reason to keep him at arm’s length. Is this a stupid plan? Do I NEED to beg money to pay for a lawyer, or is this a pointless enough lawsuit that I can hand it myself, under the circumstances? Many thanks for reading. Tl;dr: my 18 year olds don't want to have a relationship with my not-so-nice ex, so I'm being sued for parental alienation. Can I defend myself against this, or do I need to beg money from family and pay a lawyer?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Genuine question for the lawyers here...... Since the ex-husband is the one making the allegation, doesn't the burden of proof fall to him to *prove* that she is supposedly alienating the twins? And I mean more proof than him standing there going, \"Well, she must have because my kids don't want to see my any more!\" It seems to me that that would not be considered proof, merely an opinion. If OP walks in there with printed out verbally abusive texts, and the twins saying \"He's just an asshole and we have decided we don't want to see him\" it seems that would be more than enough. And wouldn't a judge consider the twins old enough to make up their own minds? They're teenagers, part of me feels even if OP said \"Don't go to your father's, he's an asshole!\" they would because most teenagers seize the opportunity to do what their parents don't want them to. :)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(MO)Served with a restraining order for my sister and her children. I haven’t seen/spoken with her for months: She claims my mothers residence is hers and now I can’t go to my elderly mothers house anymore. She doesn’t live there. This is the same sister who used technology and key logging software to stalk; harass and terrorize myself and my infant daughter almost one year ago now. I took my daughter on vacation and when we left for Disney World, everything was fine we were bffs again whatever. I made the mistake of trusting her to check on my home while we were away and was surprised to get a call from my landlord asking why there is a family of six suddenly living in my home and using my space, clothing, everything down to the shampoo she watered down so I wouldn’t notice, please. Apparently, she was seeing a new boyfriend and pretending that she lived in my home and acted like it was her own. I caught on when I noticed the family photos were turned around and some other smaller nuisances that you notice as a home owner. So, suddenly my sister despises me for some bogus reason so she doesn’t look like a fraud to her latest victim and I’m the scapegoat, just like back in childhood. My sister filed a restraining order for herself and her three children who have had to come spend time with me in secret on their dads weeks due to this sudden change of heart. She is making me out to be a stalker and a drug addict all of the things that SHE IS because she knows I could get her for breaking and entering or something like that if I really wanted to, I would assume. She put my mothers address down as hers and now I can’t go anywhere near my moms house. All of this was done without me ever seeing or talking to my sister. I haven’t had contact with her for months for obvious reasons. There’s a court date set and god only knows what kind of crazy narcissistic bs she’s gonna pull. I stick to the truth and the tapes of her using my property as her own. Is there anything else I should do/be aware of?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pretty much just document everything, also if she tries to contact you don't pick up or talk to her at all. Missouri is a one party state, so she could secretly record you and try and distort it the audio as \"evidence\" against you. You should also enable any GPS tracking, like Google time line, to show where you are at all times. Also you should contact a lawyer and get their advice on what to expect on the court date.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(MO)Served with a restraining order for my sister and her children. I haven’t seen/spoken with her for months: She claims my mothers residence is hers and now I can’t go to my elderly mothers house anymore. She doesn’t live there. This is the same sister who used technology and key logging software to stalk; harass and terrorize myself and my infant daughter almost one year ago now. I took my daughter on vacation and when we left for Disney World, everything was fine we were bffs again whatever. I made the mistake of trusting her to check on my home while we were away and was surprised to get a call from my landlord asking why there is a family of six suddenly living in my home and using my space, clothing, everything down to the shampoo she watered down so I wouldn’t notice, please. Apparently, she was seeing a new boyfriend and pretending that she lived in my home and acted like it was her own. I caught on when I noticed the family photos were turned around and some other smaller nuisances that you notice as a home owner. So, suddenly my sister despises me for some bogus reason so she doesn’t look like a fraud to her latest victim and I’m the scapegoat, just like back in childhood. My sister filed a restraining order for herself and her three children who have had to come spend time with me in secret on their dads weeks due to this sudden change of heart. She is making me out to be a stalker and a drug addict all of the things that SHE IS because she knows I could get her for breaking and entering or something like that if I really wanted to, I would assume. She put my mothers address down as hers and now I can’t go anywhere near my moms house. All of this was done without me ever seeing or talking to my sister. I haven’t had contact with her for months for obvious reasons. There’s a court date set and god only knows what kind of crazy narcissistic bs she’s gonna pull. I stick to the truth and the tapes of her using my property as her own. Is there anything else I should do/be aware of?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You should fight this restraining order with the assistance of counsel. Most family law practices will have lots of relevant experience. You don't want this to be anything other than a temporary order, it'll follow you around later and may restrict your access to firearms and other rights beyond those already outlined in the order.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(MO)Served with a restraining order for my sister and her children. I haven’t seen/spoken with her for months: She claims my mothers residence is hers and now I can’t go to my elderly mothers house anymore. She doesn’t live there. This is the same sister who used technology and key logging software to stalk; harass and terrorize myself and my infant daughter almost one year ago now. I took my daughter on vacation and when we left for Disney World, everything was fine we were bffs again whatever. I made the mistake of trusting her to check on my home while we were away and was surprised to get a call from my landlord asking why there is a family of six suddenly living in my home and using my space, clothing, everything down to the shampoo she watered down so I wouldn’t notice, please. Apparently, she was seeing a new boyfriend and pretending that she lived in my home and acted like it was her own. I caught on when I noticed the family photos were turned around and some other smaller nuisances that you notice as a home owner. So, suddenly my sister despises me for some bogus reason so she doesn’t look like a fraud to her latest victim and I’m the scapegoat, just like back in childhood. My sister filed a restraining order for herself and her three children who have had to come spend time with me in secret on their dads weeks due to this sudden change of heart. She is making me out to be a stalker and a drug addict all of the things that SHE IS because she knows I could get her for breaking and entering or something like that if I really wanted to, I would assume. She put my mothers address down as hers and now I can’t go anywhere near my moms house. All of this was done without me ever seeing or talking to my sister. I haven’t had contact with her for months for obvious reasons. There’s a court date set and god only knows what kind of crazy narcissistic bs she’s gonna pull. I stick to the truth and the tapes of her using my property as her own. Is there anything else I should do/be aware of?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She's going to have to prove she lives there and that won't be easy. It wouldn't hurt talking to an attorney just for the heck of it ​", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(MO)Served with a restraining order for my sister and her children. I haven’t seen/spoken with her for months: She claims my mothers residence is hers and now I can’t go to my elderly mothers house anymore. She doesn’t live there. This is the same sister who used technology and key logging software to stalk; harass and terrorize myself and my infant daughter almost one year ago now. I took my daughter on vacation and when we left for Disney World, everything was fine we were bffs again whatever. I made the mistake of trusting her to check on my home while we were away and was surprised to get a call from my landlord asking why there is a family of six suddenly living in my home and using my space, clothing, everything down to the shampoo she watered down so I wouldn’t notice, please. Apparently, she was seeing a new boyfriend and pretending that she lived in my home and acted like it was her own. I caught on when I noticed the family photos were turned around and some other smaller nuisances that you notice as a home owner. So, suddenly my sister despises me for some bogus reason so she doesn’t look like a fraud to her latest victim and I’m the scapegoat, just like back in childhood. My sister filed a restraining order for herself and her three children who have had to come spend time with me in secret on their dads weeks due to this sudden change of heart. She is making me out to be a stalker and a drug addict all of the things that SHE IS because she knows I could get her for breaking and entering or something like that if I really wanted to, I would assume. She put my mothers address down as hers and now I can’t go anywhere near my moms house. All of this was done without me ever seeing or talking to my sister. I haven’t had contact with her for months for obvious reasons. There’s a court date set and god only knows what kind of crazy narcissistic bs she’s gonna pull. I stick to the truth and the tapes of her using my property as her own. Is there anything else I should do/be aware of?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Does she receive aid (housing allowance,money,medical) from the State for her and the children? If she does, whch address does she use on that paperwork, Her house or your Mom's house? If she is using her address on the aid file you could use it to show she does not live at your Mom's house.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My neighbor has been harassing me for years. They've now learned my schedule and are waiting for me to leave for work each morning. Stalking? Harassment? (Chicago IL) Hi! My neighbor has been harassing me for years and it's making me so anxious. I live alone. \\-Any time I use my door past 8pm (to check the mail, to let someone in, or my partner leaves for the night), they get up from whatever they are doing to open and slam their door. \\-If I've used my door too many times (I call it \"door quota\") even before their 8pm bedtime, they start slamming doors and banging pots and pans. God forbid I take two trips out to the trash and three trips to the basement to do laundry! I never do laundry or take out the trash past 8pm. \\-I had my partner and two friends over playing a board game, he called the cops because of the noise. When the cops arrived, they said they could not hear us, even from right inside the hallway! We were not being loud. \\-They have turned off my power (3x in a row- I caught him coming up the stairs from the basement after shutting it off the 2nd and 3rd time!) \\-I am pretty sure they have put dirt in my laundry. No proof it was them, but the rest of my neighbors are great and you need to live in the building to get into the laundry room. \\-For a couple of weeks, they were putting garbage in the shared hallway in front of my door (eggshells, onion shavings, diced apple). \\-He stomped on one of my packages. I have this on camera. \\-Their newest thing, which has me the most worried, is that they have learned my schedule and are waiting in their kitchen each morning at 6:30 to bang pots and pans. This morning, it was extra aggressive and paired with loud, fake laughter. Someone else in the building had people over late last night and it must have kept them awake so they were mad. But I was home by myself and in bed by 9:30, so it certainly wasn't me. So they now know my daily schedule and are taking out their anger at other people on me instead. I have not had more than one person over at my home in months, I never play loud music past 8pm, and I limit my door use as much as possible. They have made me such a huge part of their daily lives and I just want to be left alone. I'm now nervous to leave my house for work every morning. The HOA put a camera in the hallway and I have a camera from my unit pointed out to the parking lot to make sure he doesn't mess with my car or follow me to work. I have changed so many of my daily habits to accommodate them and at this point I am so stressed and scared when I leave my unit. They also have a similar history with other neighbors- they have thrown away gardening stakes (\"Don't plant flowers in front of my window!\"), turned off a neighbor's electricity several times a week for months until we had to hire an electrician who told us that nothing was wrong with the power! (crazy neighbor accused this other neighbor of \"hacking\" his TV so that's why he was turning off his power) and put dirt in someone else's laundry (they must have slammed the laundry room door too loudly!) I'm alarmed that they have taken the time to get to know my daily schedule. I've gone to the police to try to file a report a few times in the past but they said they couldn't help me, door slamming isn't harassment, I don't have enough proof, etc. Is this harassment? What can I do? I own the condo and can't really afford to move. They have escalated things before and I would not put it past them to escalate things again. Please advise!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Is there a condo association that can get involved?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My neighbor has been harassing me for years. They've now learned my schedule and are waiting for me to leave for work each morning. Stalking? Harassment? (Chicago IL) Hi! My neighbor has been harassing me for years and it's making me so anxious. I live alone. \\-Any time I use my door past 8pm (to check the mail, to let someone in, or my partner leaves for the night), they get up from whatever they are doing to open and slam their door. \\-If I've used my door too many times (I call it \"door quota\") even before their 8pm bedtime, they start slamming doors and banging pots and pans. God forbid I take two trips out to the trash and three trips to the basement to do laundry! I never do laundry or take out the trash past 8pm. \\-I had my partner and two friends over playing a board game, he called the cops because of the noise. When the cops arrived, they said they could not hear us, even from right inside the hallway! We were not being loud. \\-They have turned off my power (3x in a row- I caught him coming up the stairs from the basement after shutting it off the 2nd and 3rd time!) \\-I am pretty sure they have put dirt in my laundry. No proof it was them, but the rest of my neighbors are great and you need to live in the building to get into the laundry room. \\-For a couple of weeks, they were putting garbage in the shared hallway in front of my door (eggshells, onion shavings, diced apple). \\-He stomped on one of my packages. I have this on camera. \\-Their newest thing, which has me the most worried, is that they have learned my schedule and are waiting in their kitchen each morning at 6:30 to bang pots and pans. This morning, it was extra aggressive and paired with loud, fake laughter. Someone else in the building had people over late last night and it must have kept them awake so they were mad. But I was home by myself and in bed by 9:30, so it certainly wasn't me. So they now know my daily schedule and are taking out their anger at other people on me instead. I have not had more than one person over at my home in months, I never play loud music past 8pm, and I limit my door use as much as possible. They have made me such a huge part of their daily lives and I just want to be left alone. I'm now nervous to leave my house for work every morning. The HOA put a camera in the hallway and I have a camera from my unit pointed out to the parking lot to make sure he doesn't mess with my car or follow me to work. I have changed so many of my daily habits to accommodate them and at this point I am so stressed and scared when I leave my unit. They also have a similar history with other neighbors- they have thrown away gardening stakes (\"Don't plant flowers in front of my window!\"), turned off a neighbor's electricity several times a week for months until we had to hire an electrician who told us that nothing was wrong with the power! (crazy neighbor accused this other neighbor of \"hacking\" his TV so that's why he was turning off his power) and put dirt in someone else's laundry (they must have slammed the laundry room door too loudly!) I'm alarmed that they have taken the time to get to know my daily schedule. I've gone to the police to try to file a report a few times in the past but they said they couldn't help me, door slamming isn't harassment, I don't have enough proof, etc. Is this harassment? What can I do? I own the condo and can't really afford to move. They have escalated things before and I would not put it past them to escalate things again. Please advise!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Have you gone to the police with your video of them damaging your property (stomping on your package)?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My neighbor has been harassing me for years. They've now learned my schedule and are waiting for me to leave for work each morning. Stalking? Harassment? (Chicago IL) Hi! My neighbor has been harassing me for years and it's making me so anxious. I live alone. \\-Any time I use my door past 8pm (to check the mail, to let someone in, or my partner leaves for the night), they get up from whatever they are doing to open and slam their door. \\-If I've used my door too many times (I call it \"door quota\") even before their 8pm bedtime, they start slamming doors and banging pots and pans. God forbid I take two trips out to the trash and three trips to the basement to do laundry! I never do laundry or take out the trash past 8pm. \\-I had my partner and two friends over playing a board game, he called the cops because of the noise. When the cops arrived, they said they could not hear us, even from right inside the hallway! We were not being loud. \\-They have turned off my power (3x in a row- I caught him coming up the stairs from the basement after shutting it off the 2nd and 3rd time!) \\-I am pretty sure they have put dirt in my laundry. No proof it was them, but the rest of my neighbors are great and you need to live in the building to get into the laundry room. \\-For a couple of weeks, they were putting garbage in the shared hallway in front of my door (eggshells, onion shavings, diced apple). \\-He stomped on one of my packages. I have this on camera. \\-Their newest thing, which has me the most worried, is that they have learned my schedule and are waiting in their kitchen each morning at 6:30 to bang pots and pans. This morning, it was extra aggressive and paired with loud, fake laughter. Someone else in the building had people over late last night and it must have kept them awake so they were mad. But I was home by myself and in bed by 9:30, so it certainly wasn't me. So they now know my daily schedule and are taking out their anger at other people on me instead. I have not had more than one person over at my home in months, I never play loud music past 8pm, and I limit my door use as much as possible. They have made me such a huge part of their daily lives and I just want to be left alone. I'm now nervous to leave my house for work every morning. The HOA put a camera in the hallway and I have a camera from my unit pointed out to the parking lot to make sure he doesn't mess with my car or follow me to work. I have changed so many of my daily habits to accommodate them and at this point I am so stressed and scared when I leave my unit. They also have a similar history with other neighbors- they have thrown away gardening stakes (\"Don't plant flowers in front of my window!\"), turned off a neighbor's electricity several times a week for months until we had to hire an electrician who told us that nothing was wrong with the power! (crazy neighbor accused this other neighbor of \"hacking\" his TV so that's why he was turning off his power) and put dirt in someone else's laundry (they must have slammed the laundry room door too loudly!) I'm alarmed that they have taken the time to get to know my daily schedule. I've gone to the police to try to file a report a few times in the past but they said they couldn't help me, door slamming isn't harassment, I don't have enough proof, etc. Is this harassment? What can I do? I own the condo and can't really afford to move. They have escalated things before and I would not put it past them to escalate things again. Please advise!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Is there a condo association that can get involved?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My neighbor has been harassing me for years. They've now learned my schedule and are waiting for me to leave for work each morning. Stalking? Harassment? (Chicago IL) Hi! My neighbor has been harassing me for years and it's making me so anxious. I live alone. \\-Any time I use my door past 8pm (to check the mail, to let someone in, or my partner leaves for the night), they get up from whatever they are doing to open and slam their door. \\-If I've used my door too many times (I call it \"door quota\") even before their 8pm bedtime, they start slamming doors and banging pots and pans. God forbid I take two trips out to the trash and three trips to the basement to do laundry! I never do laundry or take out the trash past 8pm. \\-I had my partner and two friends over playing a board game, he called the cops because of the noise. When the cops arrived, they said they could not hear us, even from right inside the hallway! We were not being loud. \\-They have turned off my power (3x in a row- I caught him coming up the stairs from the basement after shutting it off the 2nd and 3rd time!) \\-I am pretty sure they have put dirt in my laundry. No proof it was them, but the rest of my neighbors are great and you need to live in the building to get into the laundry room. \\-For a couple of weeks, they were putting garbage in the shared hallway in front of my door (eggshells, onion shavings, diced apple). \\-He stomped on one of my packages. I have this on camera. \\-Their newest thing, which has me the most worried, is that they have learned my schedule and are waiting in their kitchen each morning at 6:30 to bang pots and pans. This morning, it was extra aggressive and paired with loud, fake laughter. Someone else in the building had people over late last night and it must have kept them awake so they were mad. But I was home by myself and in bed by 9:30, so it certainly wasn't me. So they now know my daily schedule and are taking out their anger at other people on me instead. I have not had more than one person over at my home in months, I never play loud music past 8pm, and I limit my door use as much as possible. They have made me such a huge part of their daily lives and I just want to be left alone. I'm now nervous to leave my house for work every morning. The HOA put a camera in the hallway and I have a camera from my unit pointed out to the parking lot to make sure he doesn't mess with my car or follow me to work. I have changed so many of my daily habits to accommodate them and at this point I am so stressed and scared when I leave my unit. They also have a similar history with other neighbors- they have thrown away gardening stakes (\"Don't plant flowers in front of my window!\"), turned off a neighbor's electricity several times a week for months until we had to hire an electrician who told us that nothing was wrong with the power! (crazy neighbor accused this other neighbor of \"hacking\" his TV so that's why he was turning off his power) and put dirt in someone else's laundry (they must have slammed the laundry room door too loudly!) I'm alarmed that they have taken the time to get to know my daily schedule. I've gone to the police to try to file a report a few times in the past but they said they couldn't help me, door slamming isn't harassment, I don't have enough proof, etc. Is this harassment? What can I do? I own the condo and can't really afford to move. They have escalated things before and I would not put it past them to escalate things again. Please advise!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How is this person allowed access to the breaker panel? That should be under lock and key, condo association should deal with that.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My neighbor has been harassing me for years. They've now learned my schedule and are waiting for me to leave for work each morning. Stalking? Harassment? (Chicago IL) Hi! My neighbor has been harassing me for years and it's making me so anxious. I live alone. \\-Any time I use my door past 8pm (to check the mail, to let someone in, or my partner leaves for the night), they get up from whatever they are doing to open and slam their door. \\-If I've used my door too many times (I call it \"door quota\") even before their 8pm bedtime, they start slamming doors and banging pots and pans. God forbid I take two trips out to the trash and three trips to the basement to do laundry! I never do laundry or take out the trash past 8pm. \\-I had my partner and two friends over playing a board game, he called the cops because of the noise. When the cops arrived, they said they could not hear us, even from right inside the hallway! We were not being loud. \\-They have turned off my power (3x in a row- I caught him coming up the stairs from the basement after shutting it off the 2nd and 3rd time!) \\-I am pretty sure they have put dirt in my laundry. No proof it was them, but the rest of my neighbors are great and you need to live in the building to get into the laundry room. \\-For a couple of weeks, they were putting garbage in the shared hallway in front of my door (eggshells, onion shavings, diced apple). \\-He stomped on one of my packages. I have this on camera. \\-Their newest thing, which has me the most worried, is that they have learned my schedule and are waiting in their kitchen each morning at 6:30 to bang pots and pans. This morning, it was extra aggressive and paired with loud, fake laughter. Someone else in the building had people over late last night and it must have kept them awake so they were mad. But I was home by myself and in bed by 9:30, so it certainly wasn't me. So they now know my daily schedule and are taking out their anger at other people on me instead. I have not had more than one person over at my home in months, I never play loud music past 8pm, and I limit my door use as much as possible. They have made me such a huge part of their daily lives and I just want to be left alone. I'm now nervous to leave my house for work every morning. The HOA put a camera in the hallway and I have a camera from my unit pointed out to the parking lot to make sure he doesn't mess with my car or follow me to work. I have changed so many of my daily habits to accommodate them and at this point I am so stressed and scared when I leave my unit. They also have a similar history with other neighbors- they have thrown away gardening stakes (\"Don't plant flowers in front of my window!\"), turned off a neighbor's electricity several times a week for months until we had to hire an electrician who told us that nothing was wrong with the power! (crazy neighbor accused this other neighbor of \"hacking\" his TV so that's why he was turning off his power) and put dirt in someone else's laundry (they must have slammed the laundry room door too loudly!) I'm alarmed that they have taken the time to get to know my daily schedule. I've gone to the police to try to file a report a few times in the past but they said they couldn't help me, door slamming isn't harassment, I don't have enough proof, etc. Is this harassment? What can I do? I own the condo and can't really afford to move. They have escalated things before and I would not put it past them to escalate things again. Please advise!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Is there a condo association that can get involved?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My neighbor has been harassing me for years. They've now learned my schedule and are waiting for me to leave for work each morning. Stalking? Harassment? (Chicago IL) Hi! My neighbor has been harassing me for years and it's making me so anxious. I live alone. \\-Any time I use my door past 8pm (to check the mail, to let someone in, or my partner leaves for the night), they get up from whatever they are doing to open and slam their door. \\-If I've used my door too many times (I call it \"door quota\") even before their 8pm bedtime, they start slamming doors and banging pots and pans. God forbid I take two trips out to the trash and three trips to the basement to do laundry! I never do laundry or take out the trash past 8pm. \\-I had my partner and two friends over playing a board game, he called the cops because of the noise. When the cops arrived, they said they could not hear us, even from right inside the hallway! We were not being loud. \\-They have turned off my power (3x in a row- I caught him coming up the stairs from the basement after shutting it off the 2nd and 3rd time!) \\-I am pretty sure they have put dirt in my laundry. No proof it was them, but the rest of my neighbors are great and you need to live in the building to get into the laundry room. \\-For a couple of weeks, they were putting garbage in the shared hallway in front of my door (eggshells, onion shavings, diced apple). \\-He stomped on one of my packages. I have this on camera. \\-Their newest thing, which has me the most worried, is that they have learned my schedule and are waiting in their kitchen each morning at 6:30 to bang pots and pans. This morning, it was extra aggressive and paired with loud, fake laughter. Someone else in the building had people over late last night and it must have kept them awake so they were mad. But I was home by myself and in bed by 9:30, so it certainly wasn't me. So they now know my daily schedule and are taking out their anger at other people on me instead. I have not had more than one person over at my home in months, I never play loud music past 8pm, and I limit my door use as much as possible. They have made me such a huge part of their daily lives and I just want to be left alone. I'm now nervous to leave my house for work every morning. The HOA put a camera in the hallway and I have a camera from my unit pointed out to the parking lot to make sure he doesn't mess with my car or follow me to work. I have changed so many of my daily habits to accommodate them and at this point I am so stressed and scared when I leave my unit. They also have a similar history with other neighbors- they have thrown away gardening stakes (\"Don't plant flowers in front of my window!\"), turned off a neighbor's electricity several times a week for months until we had to hire an electrician who told us that nothing was wrong with the power! (crazy neighbor accused this other neighbor of \"hacking\" his TV so that's why he was turning off his power) and put dirt in someone else's laundry (they must have slammed the laundry room door too loudly!) I'm alarmed that they have taken the time to get to know my daily schedule. I've gone to the police to try to file a report a few times in the past but they said they couldn't help me, door slamming isn't harassment, I don't have enough proof, etc. Is this harassment? What can I do? I own the condo and can't really afford to move. They have escalated things before and I would not put it past them to escalate things again. Please advise!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How big is your HOA and roughly what percentage of condos in your HOA are being affected by this guy? Your best bet would be to band together, go to all of the HOA meetings and work on getting some enforcement of the existing CCRs or work on creating some new CCRs to go after this guy. The HOA has a *tremendous* amount of power over individual owners - start getting them to use it to stop this guy. The HOA can make it far, far too expensive for this guy to harass you and your neighbors and can file liens or even foreclose if he doesn't pay up. This is pretty much one of only a handful of things an HOA is truly useful for - take advantage of it!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Father has been stalking me for 20 years, help! Good morning Reddit. Here goes: My parents divorced in 1997 due to my father's serial adultery and financial lies. Shortly after, when I was about 15, a family court judge granted me right of self-determination due to the trauma he had put me through (domestic violence, exposure to pornographic material, verbal, mental and emotional abuse on too many occasions to list). Since that time, I maybe spoke to him once or twice. We have not exchanged words in a decade. Out of his four children, only one of them is in contact with him - he was much younger than I was and had a different parental experience. I have requested many times that this brother and his wife do not tell our father about my personal life. And yet, they have told him personal details about my relationships, my job, etc. I went no contact with them, but they still receive information through my mom. The chain of fuckery goes like this : ME > MOM > BROTHER > STALKER. This week he sent a completely unhinged letter to my work address, where it was received and opened by a coworker. (It's a government office and pretty routine for us to receive personally addressed mail due to the calls we get, so this isn't surprising or out of the scope of their job). It has a lot of personal information in it, and while my coworker said she didn't read it, it's possible that she did or others did - it is my belief he did this in an attempt to injure me professionally. He knows I don't want any contact with him, but every once in a while he pops up like a herpes sore to send me some reminder that if he wants, he can find me no matter where I go in the country. I'm filing a police report and a TPO, but I doubt the TPO will be granted because his physical violence and abuse took place 20 years ago and because my mother is so conflict-avoidant it went undocumented by police. Also, I live in NV and he lives in VA I need some guidance on how to protect myself from my father, my brother and maybe even my mom. I don't want to go no contact with her but it's on the table after twenty years of just wanting to be left alone to have a normal life without my abuser in it. What can I do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You could try contacting a domestic violence organisation, they will have experience dealing with issues such as this and will be able to give you advice and resources", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Father has been stalking me for 20 years, help! Good morning Reddit. Here goes: My parents divorced in 1997 due to my father's serial adultery and financial lies. Shortly after, when I was about 15, a family court judge granted me right of self-determination due to the trauma he had put me through (domestic violence, exposure to pornographic material, verbal, mental and emotional abuse on too many occasions to list). Since that time, I maybe spoke to him once or twice. We have not exchanged words in a decade. Out of his four children, only one of them is in contact with him - he was much younger than I was and had a different parental experience. I have requested many times that this brother and his wife do not tell our father about my personal life. And yet, they have told him personal details about my relationships, my job, etc. I went no contact with them, but they still receive information through my mom. The chain of fuckery goes like this : ME > MOM > BROTHER > STALKER. This week he sent a completely unhinged letter to my work address, where it was received and opened by a coworker. (It's a government office and pretty routine for us to receive personally addressed mail due to the calls we get, so this isn't surprising or out of the scope of their job). It has a lot of personal information in it, and while my coworker said she didn't read it, it's possible that she did or others did - it is my belief he did this in an attempt to injure me professionally. He knows I don't want any contact with him, but every once in a while he pops up like a herpes sore to send me some reminder that if he wants, he can find me no matter where I go in the country. I'm filing a police report and a TPO, but I doubt the TPO will be granted because his physical violence and abuse took place 20 years ago and because my mother is so conflict-avoidant it went undocumented by police. Also, I live in NV and he lives in VA I need some guidance on how to protect myself from my father, my brother and maybe even my mom. I don't want to go no contact with her but it's on the table after twenty years of just wanting to be left alone to have a normal life without my abuser in it. What can I do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm sorry but since you've identified that the flow of information begins with your mother, the most practical option is to cut her off.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Father has been stalking me for 20 years, help! Good morning Reddit. Here goes: My parents divorced in 1997 due to my father's serial adultery and financial lies. Shortly after, when I was about 15, a family court judge granted me right of self-determination due to the trauma he had put me through (domestic violence, exposure to pornographic material, verbal, mental and emotional abuse on too many occasions to list). Since that time, I maybe spoke to him once or twice. We have not exchanged words in a decade. Out of his four children, only one of them is in contact with him - he was much younger than I was and had a different parental experience. I have requested many times that this brother and his wife do not tell our father about my personal life. And yet, they have told him personal details about my relationships, my job, etc. I went no contact with them, but they still receive information through my mom. The chain of fuckery goes like this : ME > MOM > BROTHER > STALKER. This week he sent a completely unhinged letter to my work address, where it was received and opened by a coworker. (It's a government office and pretty routine for us to receive personally addressed mail due to the calls we get, so this isn't surprising or out of the scope of their job). It has a lot of personal information in it, and while my coworker said she didn't read it, it's possible that she did or others did - it is my belief he did this in an attempt to injure me professionally. He knows I don't want any contact with him, but every once in a while he pops up like a herpes sore to send me some reminder that if he wants, he can find me no matter where I go in the country. I'm filing a police report and a TPO, but I doubt the TPO will be granted because his physical violence and abuse took place 20 years ago and because my mother is so conflict-avoidant it went undocumented by police. Also, I live in NV and he lives in VA I need some guidance on how to protect myself from my father, my brother and maybe even my mom. I don't want to go no contact with her but it's on the table after twenty years of just wanting to be left alone to have a normal life without my abuser in it. What can I do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A women's shelter may also have resources for this type of thing that they might be able to help with. Many shelters for women have ways to help people running from abusive relationships, being stalked, harassed etc.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Father has been stalking me for 20 years, help! Good morning Reddit. Here goes: My parents divorced in 1997 due to my father's serial adultery and financial lies. Shortly after, when I was about 15, a family court judge granted me right of self-determination due to the trauma he had put me through (domestic violence, exposure to pornographic material, verbal, mental and emotional abuse on too many occasions to list). Since that time, I maybe spoke to him once or twice. We have not exchanged words in a decade. Out of his four children, only one of them is in contact with him - he was much younger than I was and had a different parental experience. I have requested many times that this brother and his wife do not tell our father about my personal life. And yet, they have told him personal details about my relationships, my job, etc. I went no contact with them, but they still receive information through my mom. The chain of fuckery goes like this : ME > MOM > BROTHER > STALKER. This week he sent a completely unhinged letter to my work address, where it was received and opened by a coworker. (It's a government office and pretty routine for us to receive personally addressed mail due to the calls we get, so this isn't surprising or out of the scope of their job). It has a lot of personal information in it, and while my coworker said she didn't read it, it's possible that she did or others did - it is my belief he did this in an attempt to injure me professionally. He knows I don't want any contact with him, but every once in a while he pops up like a herpes sore to send me some reminder that if he wants, he can find me no matter where I go in the country. I'm filing a police report and a TPO, but I doubt the TPO will be granted because his physical violence and abuse took place 20 years ago and because my mother is so conflict-avoidant it went undocumented by police. Also, I live in NV and he lives in VA I need some guidance on how to protect myself from my father, my brother and maybe even my mom. I don't want to go no contact with her but it's on the table after twenty years of just wanting to be left alone to have a normal life without my abuser in it. What can I do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm sorry but since you've identified that the flow of information begins with your mother, the most practical option is to cut her off.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(NC) Landlord has been stealing electricity over the past 12 months. My roommates and I have recently discovered that our landlord has been stealing electricity from us to power his business office that is located in the backyard of our rental house. We discovered this when our power was temporarily disconnected for a late payment and our landlord came and asked if we had any power about 30 minutes after we were disconnected. We then realized that our late payments should have no affect on his offices power supply and thus determining that he has been leaching power from our lines without telling us. There is no meter on his office and no evidence that he has his own account with the power company. We rent through a 3rd party realtor and upon confronting them they said they will not be able to handle anything as it is between us and the landlord, but that our landlord has requested our previous electricity bills for the past few months. So it seems that our landlord is willing to back pay us whatever electricity he has used over the past 12 months but my concern is how to determine what exactly he owes us. His office space is about the size of a 2 car garage with its own A/C unit and he runs a carpentry business where he is in the office around 8-10 hours a day repairing furniture. What would be a proper way to go about finding out how much our landlord owes us for electricity and what legal action would there be if he refuses to pay a fair amount? Thank you for any insight you all can provide!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The easiest way is to prorate by square foot. The most accurate way would be to get the office on a separate meter and then use the average of the next three months ratio to the use of the house.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(NC) Landlord has been stealing electricity over the past 12 months. My roommates and I have recently discovered that our landlord has been stealing electricity from us to power his business office that is located in the backyard of our rental house. We discovered this when our power was temporarily disconnected for a late payment and our landlord came and asked if we had any power about 30 minutes after we were disconnected. We then realized that our late payments should have no affect on his offices power supply and thus determining that he has been leaching power from our lines without telling us. There is no meter on his office and no evidence that he has his own account with the power company. We rent through a 3rd party realtor and upon confronting them they said they will not be able to handle anything as it is between us and the landlord, but that our landlord has requested our previous electricity bills for the past few months. So it seems that our landlord is willing to back pay us whatever electricity he has used over the past 12 months but my concern is how to determine what exactly he owes us. His office space is about the size of a 2 car garage with its own A/C unit and he runs a carpentry business where he is in the office around 8-10 hours a day repairing furniture. What would be a proper way to go about finding out how much our landlord owes us for electricity and what legal action would there be if he refuses to pay a fair amount? Thank you for any insight you all can provide!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You should contact the utility company and ask if they are willing to pursue a theft of service claim. They should investigate, especially if any \"homemade\" wiring is involved. If you really want to blow up the landlord, look into the zoning for the property. He likely doesn't have the permits to be running a commercial business in a residential neighborhood. I would think a \"dirty\" business like carpentry (requiring ventilation for particulate and chemicals for finishes, proper disposal of flammable material, etc.) would be out of place next to people's homes. The neighbors would be very unhappy to hear about it, too.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(Cali) Neighbor has been siphoning electricity for months. My electric bill and usage had basically doubled last year. I originally believed it was myself and the two people I live with being careless about leaving our tv, lights and computers running. I would get the bill each month and then just give a usual \"Hey, electric bill is still up, let's be more careful this month\" then move on. Recently it has gotten colder and my electric usage nearly tripled along with my bill to an unbelievable extent given I live in a 700 sq ft home and I am getting an electric bill in the mid 300s while other people I know rarely spend more than 100 per month. I called the electric company to dispute this they sent a tech over to verify I was using that much electricity but I objected so the tech pointed out that all of our electric meters were lined up together so he suggested I go to my house and turn off all the electricity to my house through the circuit breakers then see if the meter was still running up. I did this then ran some errands for a few hours then checked back and sure enough I had used several kWh even though I had no electricity going to my home. I called my landlord who then looked over the meter box and noticed that my neighbors meter wasn't even hooked up. He then looked at the jumper box nearby and saw that yes he was siphoning off my electricity. He then spoke with the electric company and they didn't give him all the details but they did state they shut off his electricity back in March '17 for non payment. I have since had the police come by take pictures and document everything. I have yet to press charges because really I just want my money back and need advice on the best way to do it. I did the math and between my average per month usage in 2016 compared to 2017 to today by electric bill went up by over 1200 dollars. My landlord has been unable to contact the neighbor and the guy isn't around at the moment because he is working out of town. I have called the electric company and they won't make any adjustments or credits for me because the guy was stealing from me not them. I still owe on a $350 bill with another one coming up that will be similar and I am not sure how I can afford it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "---\r > http://imgur.com/a/myIAb\r \r ---\r *I am a bot whose sole purpose is to improve the timeliness and accuracy of responses in this subreddit.*\r \r ---\r **It appears you forgot to include your location in the title or body of your post. Please update the body of your original post to include this information.**\r \r ---\r ***Do NOT delete this post - Instead, simply edit the post with the requested information.***\r \r ---\r \r Author: /u/Rozul\r \r Title: **(Cali) Neighbor has been siphoning electricity for months.**\r \r Original Post: \r \r > My electric bill and usage had basically doubled last year. I originally believed it was myself and the two people I live with being careless about leaving our tv, lights and computers running. I would get the bill each month and then just give a usual \"Hey, electric bill is still up, let's be more careful this month\" then move on. Recently it has gotten colder and my electric usage nearly tripled along with my bill to an unbelievable extent given I live in a 700 sq ft home and I am getting an electric bill in the mid 300s while other people I know rarely spend more than 100 per month. > > I called the electric company to dispute this they sent a tech over to verify I was using that much electricity but I objected so the tech pointed out that all of our electric meters were lined up together so he suggested I go to my house and turn off all the electricity to my house through the circuit breakers then see if the meter was still running up. I did this then ran some errands for a few hours then checked back and sure enough I had used several kWh even though I had no electricity going to my home. > > I called my landlord who then looked over the meter box and noticed that my neighbors meter wasn't even hooked up. He then looked at the jumper box nearby and saw that yes he was siphoning off my electricity. He then spoke with the electric company and they didn't give him all the details but they did state they shut off his electricity back in March '17 for non payment. I have since had the police come by take pictures and document everything. > > I have yet to press charges because really I just want my money back and need advice on the best way to do it. I did the math and between my average per month usage in 2016 compared to 2017 to today by electric bill went up by over 1200 dollars. My landlord has been unable to contact the neighbor and the guy isn't around at the moment because he is working out of town. I have called the electric company and they won't make any adjustments or credits for me because the guy was stealing from me not them. I still owe on a $350 bill with another one coming up that will be similar and I am not sure how I can afford it. > > \r \r \r \r \r ---\r LocationBot 4.0 | GitHub (Coming Soon) | Statistics | Report Issues", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(Cali) Neighbor has been siphoning electricity for months. My electric bill and usage had basically doubled last year. I originally believed it was myself and the two people I live with being careless about leaving our tv, lights and computers running. I would get the bill each month and then just give a usual \"Hey, electric bill is still up, let's be more careful this month\" then move on. Recently it has gotten colder and my electric usage nearly tripled along with my bill to an unbelievable extent given I live in a 700 sq ft home and I am getting an electric bill in the mid 300s while other people I know rarely spend more than 100 per month. I called the electric company to dispute this they sent a tech over to verify I was using that much electricity but I objected so the tech pointed out that all of our electric meters were lined up together so he suggested I go to my house and turn off all the electricity to my house through the circuit breakers then see if the meter was still running up. I did this then ran some errands for a few hours then checked back and sure enough I had used several kWh even though I had no electricity going to my home. I called my landlord who then looked over the meter box and noticed that my neighbors meter wasn't even hooked up. He then looked at the jumper box nearby and saw that yes he was siphoning off my electricity. He then spoke with the electric company and they didn't give him all the details but they did state they shut off his electricity back in March '17 for non payment. I have since had the police come by take pictures and document everything. I have yet to press charges because really I just want my money back and need advice on the best way to do it. I did the math and between my average per month usage in 2016 compared to 2017 to today by electric bill went up by over 1200 dollars. My landlord has been unable to contact the neighbor and the guy isn't around at the moment because he is working out of town. I have called the electric company and they won't make any adjustments or credits for me because the guy was stealing from me not them. I still owe on a $350 bill with another one coming up that will be similar and I am not sure how I can afford it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Don't overlook the liability of the landlord in this. I assume that your lease does not obligate you to pay for your neighbor's utilities. The overcharge could be the result of the landlord's faulty wiring, or the landlord's failure to prevent tampering with the jumper box. It seems like the neighbor is another tenant of the same landlord, but I think you have arguments here even if he is not.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(Cali) Neighbor has been siphoning electricity for months. My electric bill and usage had basically doubled last year. I originally believed it was myself and the two people I live with being careless about leaving our tv, lights and computers running. I would get the bill each month and then just give a usual \"Hey, electric bill is still up, let's be more careful this month\" then move on. Recently it has gotten colder and my electric usage nearly tripled along with my bill to an unbelievable extent given I live in a 700 sq ft home and I am getting an electric bill in the mid 300s while other people I know rarely spend more than 100 per month. I called the electric company to dispute this they sent a tech over to verify I was using that much electricity but I objected so the tech pointed out that all of our electric meters were lined up together so he suggested I go to my house and turn off all the electricity to my house through the circuit breakers then see if the meter was still running up. I did this then ran some errands for a few hours then checked back and sure enough I had used several kWh even though I had no electricity going to my home. I called my landlord who then looked over the meter box and noticed that my neighbors meter wasn't even hooked up. He then looked at the jumper box nearby and saw that yes he was siphoning off my electricity. He then spoke with the electric company and they didn't give him all the details but they did state they shut off his electricity back in March '17 for non payment. I have since had the police come by take pictures and document everything. I have yet to press charges because really I just want my money back and need advice on the best way to do it. I did the math and between my average per month usage in 2016 compared to 2017 to today by electric bill went up by over 1200 dollars. My landlord has been unable to contact the neighbor and the guy isn't around at the moment because he is working out of town. I have called the electric company and they won't make any adjustments or credits for me because the guy was stealing from me not them. I still owe on a $350 bill with another one coming up that will be similar and I am not sure how I can afford it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sue the landlord, the maintenance worker in his individual capacity and the tenant. It’s always better to have a judge decide WHICH entity is liable than whether one person is liable. Don’t call the police. Go to the police station and ask for an appointment with an investigator. Insist on charges being filed.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(Cali) Neighbor has been siphoning electricity for months. My electric bill and usage had basically doubled last year. I originally believed it was myself and the two people I live with being careless about leaving our tv, lights and computers running. I would get the bill each month and then just give a usual \"Hey, electric bill is still up, let's be more careful this month\" then move on. Recently it has gotten colder and my electric usage nearly tripled along with my bill to an unbelievable extent given I live in a 700 sq ft home and I am getting an electric bill in the mid 300s while other people I know rarely spend more than 100 per month. I called the electric company to dispute this they sent a tech over to verify I was using that much electricity but I objected so the tech pointed out that all of our electric meters were lined up together so he suggested I go to my house and turn off all the electricity to my house through the circuit breakers then see if the meter was still running up. I did this then ran some errands for a few hours then checked back and sure enough I had used several kWh even though I had no electricity going to my home. I called my landlord who then looked over the meter box and noticed that my neighbors meter wasn't even hooked up. He then looked at the jumper box nearby and saw that yes he was siphoning off my electricity. He then spoke with the electric company and they didn't give him all the details but they did state they shut off his electricity back in March '17 for non payment. I have since had the police come by take pictures and document everything. I have yet to press charges because really I just want my money back and need advice on the best way to do it. I did the math and between my average per month usage in 2016 compared to 2017 to today by electric bill went up by over 1200 dollars. My landlord has been unable to contact the neighbor and the guy isn't around at the moment because he is working out of town. I have called the electric company and they won't make any adjustments or credits for me because the guy was stealing from me not them. I still owe on a $350 bill with another one coming up that will be similar and I am not sure how I can afford it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ask the police for a case number or copy of the report. Contact the electric company with this information. Ask for their special agent or investigation department. In California, public utilities have their own police forces that will work with law enforcement. The junction box between the meters and the individual main breakers should have a seal installed by the utility. Tampering with it is further evidence of the crime. If over $950 in value it's a felony. Is the neighbor still connected to your meter? If so, check with the police before asking your landlord to have an electrician disconnect it. They may want to set up a sting. Don't try to disconnect it yourself. Depending on where the tap was made, you may not be able to de-energize the circuit without pulling the meter. >I have yet to press charges because really I just want my money back and need advice on the best way to do it. You don't technically press charges. The prosecutor and police do. You can request prosecution but it isn't actually your call. As far as getting your money back, the District Attorney's victim restitution program may be able to help. When you contact the utility's investigation department and open a case, mention that you're strapped for cash and ask them to work with their billing department to cut you some slack. Tenants who steal electricity and tamper with utilities typically aren't good tenants. If your landlord is on your side see if they'll put some pressure on the neighbor.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(Cali) Neighbor has been siphoning electricity for months. My electric bill and usage had basically doubled last year. I originally believed it was myself and the two people I live with being careless about leaving our tv, lights and computers running. I would get the bill each month and then just give a usual \"Hey, electric bill is still up, let's be more careful this month\" then move on. Recently it has gotten colder and my electric usage nearly tripled along with my bill to an unbelievable extent given I live in a 700 sq ft home and I am getting an electric bill in the mid 300s while other people I know rarely spend more than 100 per month. I called the electric company to dispute this they sent a tech over to verify I was using that much electricity but I objected so the tech pointed out that all of our electric meters were lined up together so he suggested I go to my house and turn off all the electricity to my house through the circuit breakers then see if the meter was still running up. I did this then ran some errands for a few hours then checked back and sure enough I had used several kWh even though I had no electricity going to my home. I called my landlord who then looked over the meter box and noticed that my neighbors meter wasn't even hooked up. He then looked at the jumper box nearby and saw that yes he was siphoning off my electricity. He then spoke with the electric company and they didn't give him all the details but they did state they shut off his electricity back in March '17 for non payment. I have since had the police come by take pictures and document everything. I have yet to press charges because really I just want my money back and need advice on the best way to do it. I did the math and between my average per month usage in 2016 compared to 2017 to today by electric bill went up by over 1200 dollars. My landlord has been unable to contact the neighbor and the guy isn't around at the moment because he is working out of town. I have called the electric company and they won't make any adjustments or credits for me because the guy was stealing from me not them. I still owe on a $350 bill with another one coming up that will be similar and I am not sure how I can afford it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "---\r > http://imgur.com/a/myIAb\r \r ---\r *I am a bot whose sole purpose is to improve the timeliness and accuracy of responses in this subreddit.*\r \r ---\r **It appears you forgot to include your location in the title or body of your post. Please update the body of your original post to include this information.**\r \r ---\r ***Do NOT delete this post - Instead, simply edit the post with the requested information.***\r \r ---\r \r Author: /u/Rozul\r \r Title: **(Cali) Neighbor has been siphoning electricity for months.**\r \r Original Post: \r \r > My electric bill and usage had basically doubled last year. I originally believed it was myself and the two people I live with being careless about leaving our tv, lights and computers running. I would get the bill each month and then just give a usual \"Hey, electric bill is still up, let's be more careful this month\" then move on. Recently it has gotten colder and my electric usage nearly tripled along with my bill to an unbelievable extent given I live in a 700 sq ft home and I am getting an electric bill in the mid 300s while other people I know rarely spend more than 100 per month. > > I called the electric company to dispute this they sent a tech over to verify I was using that much electricity but I objected so the tech pointed out that all of our electric meters were lined up together so he suggested I go to my house and turn off all the electricity to my house through the circuit breakers then see if the meter was still running up. I did this then ran some errands for a few hours then checked back and sure enough I had used several kWh even though I had no electricity going to my home. > > I called my landlord who then looked over the meter box and noticed that my neighbors meter wasn't even hooked up. He then looked at the jumper box nearby and saw that yes he was siphoning off my electricity. He then spoke with the electric company and they didn't give him all the details but they did state they shut off his electricity back in March '17 for non payment. I have since had the police come by take pictures and document everything. > > I have yet to press charges because really I just want my money back and need advice on the best way to do it. I did the math and between my average per month usage in 2016 compared to 2017 to today by electric bill went up by over 1200 dollars. My landlord has been unable to contact the neighbor and the guy isn't around at the moment because he is working out of town. I have called the electric company and they won't make any adjustments or credits for me because the guy was stealing from me not them. I still owe on a $350 bill with another one coming up that will be similar and I am not sure how I can afford it. > > \r \r \r \r \r ---\r LocationBot 4.0 | GitHub (Coming Soon) | Statistics | Report Issues", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(Cali) Neighbor has been siphoning electricity for months. My electric bill and usage had basically doubled last year. I originally believed it was myself and the two people I live with being careless about leaving our tv, lights and computers running. I would get the bill each month and then just give a usual \"Hey, electric bill is still up, let's be more careful this month\" then move on. Recently it has gotten colder and my electric usage nearly tripled along with my bill to an unbelievable extent given I live in a 700 sq ft home and I am getting an electric bill in the mid 300s while other people I know rarely spend more than 100 per month. I called the electric company to dispute this they sent a tech over to verify I was using that much electricity but I objected so the tech pointed out that all of our electric meters were lined up together so he suggested I go to my house and turn off all the electricity to my house through the circuit breakers then see if the meter was still running up. I did this then ran some errands for a few hours then checked back and sure enough I had used several kWh even though I had no electricity going to my home. I called my landlord who then looked over the meter box and noticed that my neighbors meter wasn't even hooked up. He then looked at the jumper box nearby and saw that yes he was siphoning off my electricity. He then spoke with the electric company and they didn't give him all the details but they did state they shut off his electricity back in March '17 for non payment. I have since had the police come by take pictures and document everything. I have yet to press charges because really I just want my money back and need advice on the best way to do it. I did the math and between my average per month usage in 2016 compared to 2017 to today by electric bill went up by over 1200 dollars. My landlord has been unable to contact the neighbor and the guy isn't around at the moment because he is working out of town. I have called the electric company and they won't make any adjustments or credits for me because the guy was stealing from me not them. I still owe on a $350 bill with another one coming up that will be similar and I am not sure how I can afford it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ask the police for a case number or copy of the report. Contact the electric company with this information. Ask for their special agent or investigation department. In California, public utilities have their own police forces that will work with law enforcement. The junction box between the meters and the individual main breakers should have a seal installed by the utility. Tampering with it is further evidence of the crime. If over $950 in value it's a felony. Is the neighbor still connected to your meter? If so, check with the police before asking your landlord to have an electrician disconnect it. They may want to set up a sting. Don't try to disconnect it yourself. Depending on where the tap was made, you may not be able to de-energize the circuit without pulling the meter. >I have yet to press charges because really I just want my money back and need advice on the best way to do it. You don't technically press charges. The prosecutor and police do. You can request prosecution but it isn't actually your call. As far as getting your money back, the District Attorney's victim restitution program may be able to help. When you contact the utility's investigation department and open a case, mention that you're strapped for cash and ask them to work with their billing department to cut you some slack. Tenants who steal electricity and tamper with utilities typically aren't good tenants. If your landlord is on your side see if they'll put some pressure on the neighbor.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Neighbor keeps stealing power for electric car. My neighbor and I have a shared driveway. I own my house but the neighboring house is a rental. Last year, I bought an electric car, and paid to have a charger installed on my side of the driveway. When I installed it, the previous tenants asked if they could use it on two occasions for guests who had electric cars, and I agreed that they could. Well, the new tenants apparently feel that they're welcome to use it whenever they like to charge their own car. They've actually unplugged my car in order to plug in theirs on a couple of occasions. Of course, this uses my power, but also prevents me from charging my own car, which has caused problems. I went over and asked them to stop using my power, and they were extremely rude and said that it was included in their lease, and that their landlord told them it was included in the property. Talking to them has been completely useless. In fact, when I unplugged their car and plugged in my own, they came over and banged on the door, threatening to sue me. I haven't been able to get in touch with their landlord. The third or fourth time I found them charging their car on my plug, I called the police, who told me that this was a civil matter, and wouldn't intervene. What can I do, at this point, to stop them from using my charger? This is in Indiana.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The police *might* not be correct about this being solely a civil matter. Depending on the setup in place, the neighbor might be trespassing. Regardless, it doesn't matter what the landlord communicated to your neighbor. Your plug means your electricity. Even if the landlord mistakenly offered it as part of the rental (which I doubt or else the neighbor never would've asked permission in the beginning before becoming more presumptuous), that doesn't mean you owe the neighbor anything. Anyway, you do have a valid civil claim against your neighbor for the value of the electricity they have stolen. However, electricity is relatively cheap so a few nights of charging probably only amounts to a few dollars. Without knowing your exact setup, it's not possible to know which of these might be of use, but some ideas: * Does your car have a setting which prevents the charging cable from being unplugged if the car is locked? * Can you set up alerts with your car to let you know when charging has been interrupted? * Can you move your car into your garage to charge? * Can you control the breaker for the charging spot? * Can you get a physical lock for the charging cable? Like a cover that goes over the end of the cable so it cannot be plugged in. * Can you get a cable that is so short that it barely reached your car and cannot reach wherever your neighbor is parked?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Neighbor keeps stealing power for electric car. My neighbor and I have a shared driveway. I own my house but the neighboring house is a rental. Last year, I bought an electric car, and paid to have a charger installed on my side of the driveway. When I installed it, the previous tenants asked if they could use it on two occasions for guests who had electric cars, and I agreed that they could. Well, the new tenants apparently feel that they're welcome to use it whenever they like to charge their own car. They've actually unplugged my car in order to plug in theirs on a couple of occasions. Of course, this uses my power, but also prevents me from charging my own car, which has caused problems. I went over and asked them to stop using my power, and they were extremely rude and said that it was included in their lease, and that their landlord told them it was included in the property. Talking to them has been completely useless. In fact, when I unplugged their car and plugged in my own, they came over and banged on the door, threatening to sue me. I haven't been able to get in touch with their landlord. The third or fourth time I found them charging their car on my plug, I called the police, who told me that this was a civil matter, and wouldn't intervene. What can I do, at this point, to stop them from using my charger? This is in Indiana.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Civil matter is BS. It's theft and criminal. I work for an electric utility and when people are caught bypassing the meter (stealing electricity) the popo join us as we visit them to deal with the problem. I would push harder with the police.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Neighbor keeps stealing power for electric car. My neighbor and I have a shared driveway. I own my house but the neighboring house is a rental. Last year, I bought an electric car, and paid to have a charger installed on my side of the driveway. When I installed it, the previous tenants asked if they could use it on two occasions for guests who had electric cars, and I agreed that they could. Well, the new tenants apparently feel that they're welcome to use it whenever they like to charge their own car. They've actually unplugged my car in order to plug in theirs on a couple of occasions. Of course, this uses my power, but also prevents me from charging my own car, which has caused problems. I went over and asked them to stop using my power, and they were extremely rude and said that it was included in their lease, and that their landlord told them it was included in the property. Talking to them has been completely useless. In fact, when I unplugged their car and plugged in my own, they came over and banged on the door, threatening to sue me. I haven't been able to get in touch with their landlord. The third or fourth time I found them charging their car on my plug, I called the police, who told me that this was a civil matter, and wouldn't intervene. What can I do, at this point, to stop them from using my charger? This is in Indiana.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Not a lawyer Everybody is suggesting how to secure your plug, which is good, but my top priority would be finding their landlord. Can’t suggest how is best for you but I’d just call all the local letting agents, check council/land registry records, and google the address in some form to find listings for starters. Your neighbours sound like fucking nutters so better someone else tells them to stop", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Neighbor keeps stealing power for electric car. My neighbor and I have a shared driveway. I own my house but the neighboring house is a rental. Last year, I bought an electric car, and paid to have a charger installed on my side of the driveway. When I installed it, the previous tenants asked if they could use it on two occasions for guests who had electric cars, and I agreed that they could. Well, the new tenants apparently feel that they're welcome to use it whenever they like to charge their own car. They've actually unplugged my car in order to plug in theirs on a couple of occasions. Of course, this uses my power, but also prevents me from charging my own car, which has caused problems. I went over and asked them to stop using my power, and they were extremely rude and said that it was included in their lease, and that their landlord told them it was included in the property. Talking to them has been completely useless. In fact, when I unplugged their car and plugged in my own, they came over and banged on the door, threatening to sue me. I haven't been able to get in touch with their landlord. The third or fourth time I found them charging their car on my plug, I called the police, who told me that this was a civil matter, and wouldn't intervene. What can I do, at this point, to stop them from using my charger? This is in Indiana.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Civil matter is BS. It's theft and criminal. I work for an electric utility and when people are caught bypassing the meter (stealing electricity) the popo join us as we visit them to deal with the problem. I would push harder with the police.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Neighbor keeps stealing power for electric car. My neighbor and I have a shared driveway. I own my house but the neighboring house is a rental. Last year, I bought an electric car, and paid to have a charger installed on my side of the driveway. When I installed it, the previous tenants asked if they could use it on two occasions for guests who had electric cars, and I agreed that they could. Well, the new tenants apparently feel that they're welcome to use it whenever they like to charge their own car. They've actually unplugged my car in order to plug in theirs on a couple of occasions. Of course, this uses my power, but also prevents me from charging my own car, which has caused problems. I went over and asked them to stop using my power, and they were extremely rude and said that it was included in their lease, and that their landlord told them it was included in the property. Talking to them has been completely useless. In fact, when I unplugged their car and plugged in my own, they came over and banged on the door, threatening to sue me. I haven't been able to get in touch with their landlord. The third or fourth time I found them charging their car on my plug, I called the police, who told me that this was a civil matter, and wouldn't intervene. What can I do, at this point, to stop them from using my charger? This is in Indiana.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You can call the police and escalate as this is considered theft of service/trespass. You can also add a disconnect for the charger that is locking. Or deactivate the breaker. I would send them a certified letter to cease and desist as well as to the landlord. If it continues file suit in court for theft of service and name both landlord and tenant, even for a nominal. Sum a recorded win is enforcement and makes the landlord consider eviction", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Neighbor keeps stealing power for electric car. My neighbor and I have a shared driveway. I own my house but the neighboring house is a rental. Last year, I bought an electric car, and paid to have a charger installed on my side of the driveway. When I installed it, the previous tenants asked if they could use it on two occasions for guests who had electric cars, and I agreed that they could. Well, the new tenants apparently feel that they're welcome to use it whenever they like to charge their own car. They've actually unplugged my car in order to plug in theirs on a couple of occasions. Of course, this uses my power, but also prevents me from charging my own car, which has caused problems. I went over and asked them to stop using my power, and they were extremely rude and said that it was included in their lease, and that their landlord told them it was included in the property. Talking to them has been completely useless. In fact, when I unplugged their car and plugged in my own, they came over and banged on the door, threatening to sue me. I haven't been able to get in touch with their landlord. The third or fourth time I found them charging their car on my plug, I called the police, who told me that this was a civil matter, and wouldn't intervene. What can I do, at this point, to stop them from using my charger? This is in Indiana.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Civil matter is BS. It's theft and criminal. I work for an electric utility and when people are caught bypassing the meter (stealing electricity) the popo join us as we visit them to deal with the problem. I would push harder with the police.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Neighbor keeps stealing power for electric car. My neighbor and I have a shared driveway. I own my house but the neighboring house is a rental. Last year, I bought an electric car, and paid to have a charger installed on my side of the driveway. When I installed it, the previous tenants asked if they could use it on two occasions for guests who had electric cars, and I agreed that they could. Well, the new tenants apparently feel that they're welcome to use it whenever they like to charge their own car. They've actually unplugged my car in order to plug in theirs on a couple of occasions. Of course, this uses my power, but also prevents me from charging my own car, which has caused problems. I went over and asked them to stop using my power, and they were extremely rude and said that it was included in their lease, and that their landlord told them it was included in the property. Talking to them has been completely useless. In fact, when I unplugged their car and plugged in my own, they came over and banged on the door, threatening to sue me. I haven't been able to get in touch with their landlord. The third or fourth time I found them charging their car on my plug, I called the police, who told me that this was a civil matter, and wouldn't intervene. What can I do, at this point, to stop them from using my charger? This is in Indiana.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I’d get a disconnect Hooked up to it and only turn it on when you need it. Any Electrition would be able to do this.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Neighbor keeps stealing power for electric car. My neighbor and I have a shared driveway. I own my house but the neighboring house is a rental. Last year, I bought an electric car, and paid to have a charger installed on my side of the driveway. When I installed it, the previous tenants asked if they could use it on two occasions for guests who had electric cars, and I agreed that they could. Well, the new tenants apparently feel that they're welcome to use it whenever they like to charge their own car. They've actually unplugged my car in order to plug in theirs on a couple of occasions. Of course, this uses my power, but also prevents me from charging my own car, which has caused problems. I went over and asked them to stop using my power, and they were extremely rude and said that it was included in their lease, and that their landlord told them it was included in the property. Talking to them has been completely useless. In fact, when I unplugged their car and plugged in my own, they came over and banged on the door, threatening to sue me. I haven't been able to get in touch with their landlord. The third or fourth time I found them charging their car on my plug, I called the police, who told me that this was a civil matter, and wouldn't intervene. What can I do, at this point, to stop them from using my charger? This is in Indiana.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Civil matter is BS. It's theft and criminal. I work for an electric utility and when people are caught bypassing the meter (stealing electricity) the popo join us as we visit them to deal with the problem. I would push harder with the police.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Neighbor keeps stealing power for electric car. My neighbor and I have a shared driveway. I own my house but the neighboring house is a rental. Last year, I bought an electric car, and paid to have a charger installed on my side of the driveway. When I installed it, the previous tenants asked if they could use it on two occasions for guests who had electric cars, and I agreed that they could. Well, the new tenants apparently feel that they're welcome to use it whenever they like to charge their own car. They've actually unplugged my car in order to plug in theirs on a couple of occasions. Of course, this uses my power, but also prevents me from charging my own car, which has caused problems. I went over and asked them to stop using my power, and they were extremely rude and said that it was included in their lease, and that their landlord told them it was included in the property. Talking to them has been completely useless. In fact, when I unplugged their car and plugged in my own, they came over and banged on the door, threatening to sue me. I haven't been able to get in touch with their landlord. The third or fourth time I found them charging their car on my plug, I called the police, who told me that this was a civil matter, and wouldn't intervene. What can I do, at this point, to stop them from using my charger? This is in Indiana.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The police *might* not be correct about this being solely a civil matter. Depending on the setup in place, the neighbor might be trespassing. Regardless, it doesn't matter what the landlord communicated to your neighbor. Your plug means your electricity. Even if the landlord mistakenly offered it as part of the rental (which I doubt or else the neighbor never would've asked permission in the beginning before becoming more presumptuous), that doesn't mean you owe the neighbor anything. Anyway, you do have a valid civil claim against your neighbor for the value of the electricity they have stolen. However, electricity is relatively cheap so a few nights of charging probably only amounts to a few dollars. Without knowing your exact setup, it's not possible to know which of these might be of use, but some ideas: * Does your car have a setting which prevents the charging cable from being unplugged if the car is locked? * Can you set up alerts with your car to let you know when charging has been interrupted? * Can you move your car into your garage to charge? * Can you control the breaker for the charging spot? * Can you get a physical lock for the charging cable? Like a cover that goes over the end of the cable so it cannot be plugged in. * Can you get a cable that is so short that it barely reached your car and cannot reach wherever your neighbor is parked?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Neighbor keeps stealing power for electric car. My neighbor and I have a shared driveway. I own my house but the neighboring house is a rental. Last year, I bought an electric car, and paid to have a charger installed on my side of the driveway. When I installed it, the previous tenants asked if they could use it on two occasions for guests who had electric cars, and I agreed that they could. Well, the new tenants apparently feel that they're welcome to use it whenever they like to charge their own car. They've actually unplugged my car in order to plug in theirs on a couple of occasions. Of course, this uses my power, but also prevents me from charging my own car, which has caused problems. I went over and asked them to stop using my power, and they were extremely rude and said that it was included in their lease, and that their landlord told them it was included in the property. Talking to them has been completely useless. In fact, when I unplugged their car and plugged in my own, they came over and banged on the door, threatening to sue me. I haven't been able to get in touch with their landlord. The third or fourth time I found them charging their car on my plug, I called the police, who told me that this was a civil matter, and wouldn't intervene. What can I do, at this point, to stop them from using my charger? This is in Indiana.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Send a certified letter to the tenant demanding they stop using the charger. It is not included in their lease as you own the charger. If they continue to use it call the police for every instance. Also consider a dash camera that can be activated without having you drive the car. Installing cameras around your house would be good and have one pointed at the car charging area. Everytime they unplug your car you will have evidence.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My neighbor that I don’t get along with is my mailman. My mail has been going missing. I have lived next door to him and his family for the past 10 years and we’ve never had an issue until recently. He has also been our mailman for the last 2 years when his route changed to include our street. During covid him and his wife filed for a divorce and it turned messy. Since neither of them could afford to move out, she would often come over to my house to take a break from the tension. Her and I were friends and would hang out before the divorce but I didn’t want to “pick sides” because I still had to live next door to him too. I even politely refused when she asked me to be a character witness for her because I didn’t want things to be awkward. Well, about 6 months ago he confronted me outside my house saying that I’m a horrible neighbor and I’m helping his wife screw him out of money. I brushed it off to him being angry about the divorce in general and the fact that we were still friends. Over the next couple of months he would regularly yell at me about little things that he didn’t have an issue with before like a tree branch hanging in his yard or my dogs barking. Then I started realizing that some of my important mail from the IRS or the state was not being delivered. This has happened 6-7 times in the last 4 months. I will request another document to be sent since I never received it and I won’t get that one either. Im getting all other types of mail expect the important ones. I have never had an issue with mail not being delivered/ going missing before this so it just seems suspicious that it’s happening now. I don’t know how to prove it but I know it was him. During the divorce his wife tried to block him from being able to deliver her mail because she also said she was missing mail but apparently the post office dismissed her. What can I do legally and how do I prove this? I do not want him handling my mail if he hates me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Call the postal police. They are probably the scariest law enforcement organization in the US. Tell them you want to file a report.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My neighbor that I don’t get along with is my mailman. My mail has been going missing. I have lived next door to him and his family for the past 10 years and we’ve never had an issue until recently. He has also been our mailman for the last 2 years when his route changed to include our street. During covid him and his wife filed for a divorce and it turned messy. Since neither of them could afford to move out, she would often come over to my house to take a break from the tension. Her and I were friends and would hang out before the divorce but I didn’t want to “pick sides” because I still had to live next door to him too. I even politely refused when she asked me to be a character witness for her because I didn’t want things to be awkward. Well, about 6 months ago he confronted me outside my house saying that I’m a horrible neighbor and I’m helping his wife screw him out of money. I brushed it off to him being angry about the divorce in general and the fact that we were still friends. Over the next couple of months he would regularly yell at me about little things that he didn’t have an issue with before like a tree branch hanging in his yard or my dogs barking. Then I started realizing that some of my important mail from the IRS or the state was not being delivered. This has happened 6-7 times in the last 4 months. I will request another document to be sent since I never received it and I won’t get that one either. Im getting all other types of mail expect the important ones. I have never had an issue with mail not being delivered/ going missing before this so it just seems suspicious that it’s happening now. I don’t know how to prove it but I know it was him. During the divorce his wife tried to block him from being able to deliver her mail because she also said she was missing mail but apparently the post office dismissed her. What can I do legally and how do I prove this? I do not want him handling my mail if he hates me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Consider signing up for the Postal Service's Informed Delivery service. If it's available in your area, Informed Delivery will email you a picture of the letter-size mail that will be delivered in a day or two, and has a way to report missing mail.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My neighbor that I don’t get along with is my mailman. My mail has been going missing. I have lived next door to him and his family for the past 10 years and we’ve never had an issue until recently. He has also been our mailman for the last 2 years when his route changed to include our street. During covid him and his wife filed for a divorce and it turned messy. Since neither of them could afford to move out, she would often come over to my house to take a break from the tension. Her and I were friends and would hang out before the divorce but I didn’t want to “pick sides” because I still had to live next door to him too. I even politely refused when she asked me to be a character witness for her because I didn’t want things to be awkward. Well, about 6 months ago he confronted me outside my house saying that I’m a horrible neighbor and I’m helping his wife screw him out of money. I brushed it off to him being angry about the divorce in general and the fact that we were still friends. Over the next couple of months he would regularly yell at me about little things that he didn’t have an issue with before like a tree branch hanging in his yard or my dogs barking. Then I started realizing that some of my important mail from the IRS or the state was not being delivered. This has happened 6-7 times in the last 4 months. I will request another document to be sent since I never received it and I won’t get that one either. Im getting all other types of mail expect the important ones. I have never had an issue with mail not being delivered/ going missing before this so it just seems suspicious that it’s happening now. I don’t know how to prove it but I know it was him. During the divorce his wife tried to block him from being able to deliver her mail because she also said she was missing mail but apparently the post office dismissed her. What can I do legally and how do I prove this? I do not want him handling my mail if he hates me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Get a PO Box for important mail. Forward your regular mail to the new PO Box. Problem solved for now. File a written report first with the Postmaster at your post office.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My neighbor that I don’t get along with is my mailman. My mail has been going missing. I have lived next door to him and his family for the past 10 years and we’ve never had an issue until recently. He has also been our mailman for the last 2 years when his route changed to include our street. During covid him and his wife filed for a divorce and it turned messy. Since neither of them could afford to move out, she would often come over to my house to take a break from the tension. Her and I were friends and would hang out before the divorce but I didn’t want to “pick sides” because I still had to live next door to him too. I even politely refused when she asked me to be a character witness for her because I didn’t want things to be awkward. Well, about 6 months ago he confronted me outside my house saying that I’m a horrible neighbor and I’m helping his wife screw him out of money. I brushed it off to him being angry about the divorce in general and the fact that we were still friends. Over the next couple of months he would regularly yell at me about little things that he didn’t have an issue with before like a tree branch hanging in his yard or my dogs barking. Then I started realizing that some of my important mail from the IRS or the state was not being delivered. This has happened 6-7 times in the last 4 months. I will request another document to be sent since I never received it and I won’t get that one either. Im getting all other types of mail expect the important ones. I have never had an issue with mail not being delivered/ going missing before this so it just seems suspicious that it’s happening now. I don’t know how to prove it but I know it was him. During the divorce his wife tried to block him from being able to deliver her mail because she also said she was missing mail but apparently the post office dismissed her. What can I do legally and how do I prove this? I do not want him handling my mail if he hates me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Consider signing up for the Postal Service's Informed Delivery service. If it's available in your area, Informed Delivery will email you a picture of the letter-size mail that will be delivered in a day or two, and has a way to report missing mail.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My neighbor that I don’t get along with is my mailman. My mail has been going missing. I have lived next door to him and his family for the past 10 years and we’ve never had an issue until recently. He has also been our mailman for the last 2 years when his route changed to include our street. During covid him and his wife filed for a divorce and it turned messy. Since neither of them could afford to move out, she would often come over to my house to take a break from the tension. Her and I were friends and would hang out before the divorce but I didn’t want to “pick sides” because I still had to live next door to him too. I even politely refused when she asked me to be a character witness for her because I didn’t want things to be awkward. Well, about 6 months ago he confronted me outside my house saying that I’m a horrible neighbor and I’m helping his wife screw him out of money. I brushed it off to him being angry about the divorce in general and the fact that we were still friends. Over the next couple of months he would regularly yell at me about little things that he didn’t have an issue with before like a tree branch hanging in his yard or my dogs barking. Then I started realizing that some of my important mail from the IRS or the state was not being delivered. This has happened 6-7 times in the last 4 months. I will request another document to be sent since I never received it and I won’t get that one either. Im getting all other types of mail expect the important ones. I have never had an issue with mail not being delivered/ going missing before this so it just seems suspicious that it’s happening now. I don’t know how to prove it but I know it was him. During the divorce his wife tried to block him from being able to deliver her mail because she also said she was missing mail but apparently the post office dismissed her. What can I do legally and how do I prove this? I do not want him handling my mail if he hates me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Get a PO Box for important mail. Forward your regular mail to the new PO Box. Problem solved for now. File a written report first with the Postmaster at your post office.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My neighbor that I don’t get along with is my mailman. My mail has been going missing. I have lived next door to him and his family for the past 10 years and we’ve never had an issue until recently. He has also been our mailman for the last 2 years when his route changed to include our street. During covid him and his wife filed for a divorce and it turned messy. Since neither of them could afford to move out, she would often come over to my house to take a break from the tension. Her and I were friends and would hang out before the divorce but I didn’t want to “pick sides” because I still had to live next door to him too. I even politely refused when she asked me to be a character witness for her because I didn’t want things to be awkward. Well, about 6 months ago he confronted me outside my house saying that I’m a horrible neighbor and I’m helping his wife screw him out of money. I brushed it off to him being angry about the divorce in general and the fact that we were still friends. Over the next couple of months he would regularly yell at me about little things that he didn’t have an issue with before like a tree branch hanging in his yard or my dogs barking. Then I started realizing that some of my important mail from the IRS or the state was not being delivered. This has happened 6-7 times in the last 4 months. I will request another document to be sent since I never received it and I won’t get that one either. Im getting all other types of mail expect the important ones. I have never had an issue with mail not being delivered/ going missing before this so it just seems suspicious that it’s happening now. I don’t know how to prove it but I know it was him. During the divorce his wife tried to block him from being able to deliver her mail because she also said she was missing mail but apparently the post office dismissed her. What can I do legally and how do I prove this? I do not want him handling my mail if he hates me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Informed delivery is your record of proof. There's a lot of factors going on with the postal service right now that have made things overall not ideal from any angle, to put it politely. It could be a lot of things. It could be a call to the station. It could be getting a PO Box and seeing if it's an issue of the regular bid assignment's behavior being in error or a blameless technological happenstance. You can always file for a Harassment Restraining Order, but it sounds like a good way to ruin the fragile peace between property lines. A little camera would capture movement near your mailbox and combined with Informed Delivery emails, it may isolate when and where the error is taking place.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Seeking advice on how to handle a misidentification issue that has plagued me for the last 4 years. So here’s the situation: There is an individual wanted by Interpol (for murder) who by extremely unfortunate coincidence, has the same exact name and DOB as me. Besides that, everything else is different; birthplace, nationality, height, weight. Despite that, it’s been a shitshow for me every time I have to go through passport control in another country (I managed to acquire a redress number from DHS so that I don’t have issues at US immigration, as I’m a US Citizen). A whole group of officers would gather and stare at me like a criminal while my wife and daughter are standing next to me. Just recently in Barcelona during our first night there, I got a knock on my hotel room at 4am with 2 Spanish cops asking me about my identity while I was half asleep. Before that, I’ve been questioned in a couple other countries I visited, got delayed starting a new job because it came up during the background check, and was surrounded by multiple cops during a routine traffic stop in my neighborhood because it came up in their database. Fortunately, an officer at Lisbon passport control recently told me that the Interpol notice will expire in August 2024, but there’s no guarantee that it won’t be renewed by the country that wants to find this person, which obviously will continue my issues. My question is, is there anything I can do from a legal aspect that can protect me from these suspicions from law enforcement authorities? The last thing I want is someone aggressive decide to arrest me and ask questions later while I’m in another country with my family. This individual has been the bane of my existence, and I wish I could offer money to have him caught.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Have you contacted Interpol?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Seeking advice on how to handle a misidentification issue that has plagued me for the last 4 years. So here’s the situation: There is an individual wanted by Interpol (for murder) who by extremely unfortunate coincidence, has the same exact name and DOB as me. Besides that, everything else is different; birthplace, nationality, height, weight. Despite that, it’s been a shitshow for me every time I have to go through passport control in another country (I managed to acquire a redress number from DHS so that I don’t have issues at US immigration, as I’m a US Citizen). A whole group of officers would gather and stare at me like a criminal while my wife and daughter are standing next to me. Just recently in Barcelona during our first night there, I got a knock on my hotel room at 4am with 2 Spanish cops asking me about my identity while I was half asleep. Before that, I’ve been questioned in a couple other countries I visited, got delayed starting a new job because it came up during the background check, and was surrounded by multiple cops during a routine traffic stop in my neighborhood because it came up in their database. Fortunately, an officer at Lisbon passport control recently told me that the Interpol notice will expire in August 2024, but there’s no guarantee that it won’t be renewed by the country that wants to find this person, which obviously will continue my issues. My question is, is there anything I can do from a legal aspect that can protect me from these suspicions from law enforcement authorities? The last thing I want is someone aggressive decide to arrest me and ask questions later while I’m in another country with my family. This individual has been the bane of my existence, and I wish I could offer money to have him caught.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Your best bet is likely to contact INTERPOL to see if they can help resolve this. The Commission for the Control of INTERPOL’s Files is the body that handles issues with data in INTERPOL's systems.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Seeking advice on how to handle a misidentification issue that has plagued me for the last 4 years. So here’s the situation: There is an individual wanted by Interpol (for murder) who by extremely unfortunate coincidence, has the same exact name and DOB as me. Besides that, everything else is different; birthplace, nationality, height, weight. Despite that, it’s been a shitshow for me every time I have to go through passport control in another country (I managed to acquire a redress number from DHS so that I don’t have issues at US immigration, as I’m a US Citizen). A whole group of officers would gather and stare at me like a criminal while my wife and daughter are standing next to me. Just recently in Barcelona during our first night there, I got a knock on my hotel room at 4am with 2 Spanish cops asking me about my identity while I was half asleep. Before that, I’ve been questioned in a couple other countries I visited, got delayed starting a new job because it came up during the background check, and was surrounded by multiple cops during a routine traffic stop in my neighborhood because it came up in their database. Fortunately, an officer at Lisbon passport control recently told me that the Interpol notice will expire in August 2024, but there’s no guarantee that it won’t be renewed by the country that wants to find this person, which obviously will continue my issues. My question is, is there anything I can do from a legal aspect that can protect me from these suspicions from law enforcement authorities? The last thing I want is someone aggressive decide to arrest me and ask questions later while I’m in another country with my family. This individual has been the bane of my existence, and I wish I could offer money to have him caught.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "r/LegalAdviceEurope/ may be another good place to post. This sub is mostly US specific advice.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Seeking advice on how to handle a misidentification issue that has plagued me for the last 4 years. So here’s the situation: There is an individual wanted by Interpol (for murder) who by extremely unfortunate coincidence, has the same exact name and DOB as me. Besides that, everything else is different; birthplace, nationality, height, weight. Despite that, it’s been a shitshow for me every time I have to go through passport control in another country (I managed to acquire a redress number from DHS so that I don’t have issues at US immigration, as I’m a US Citizen). A whole group of officers would gather and stare at me like a criminal while my wife and daughter are standing next to me. Just recently in Barcelona during our first night there, I got a knock on my hotel room at 4am with 2 Spanish cops asking me about my identity while I was half asleep. Before that, I’ve been questioned in a couple other countries I visited, got delayed starting a new job because it came up during the background check, and was surrounded by multiple cops during a routine traffic stop in my neighborhood because it came up in their database. Fortunately, an officer at Lisbon passport control recently told me that the Interpol notice will expire in August 2024, but there’s no guarantee that it won’t be renewed by the country that wants to find this person, which obviously will continue my issues. My question is, is there anything I can do from a legal aspect that can protect me from these suspicions from law enforcement authorities? The last thing I want is someone aggressive decide to arrest me and ask questions later while I’m in another country with my family. This individual has been the bane of my existence, and I wish I could offer money to have him caught.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Your best bet is likely to contact INTERPOL to see if they can help resolve this. The Commission for the Control of INTERPOL’s Files is the body that handles issues with data in INTERPOL's systems.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My GF’s restaurant job is claiming more tips than she actually makes per week resulting in her getting a $0 net pay from them on her check. Management denies it and gives us the run around. Who do we go to for this type of situation? Her paycheck shows about $1,400 claimed tips with about $1,200 in taxable deductions(take home cash I am assuming) but in reality she’s likely walked home around $500 in this period. This is based on 34 total hours of work, 17 hours a week. Some shifts are banquets that she will work and they get paid out to her on the check rather than cash but with a $0 check she makes nothing from that shift. There’s a lot to this and it just blows my mind.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What location?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My GF’s restaurant job is claiming more tips than she actually makes per week resulting in her getting a $0 net pay from them on her check. Management denies it and gives us the run around. Who do we go to for this type of situation? Her paycheck shows about $1,400 claimed tips with about $1,200 in taxable deductions(take home cash I am assuming) but in reality she’s likely walked home around $500 in this period. This is based on 34 total hours of work, 17 hours a week. Some shifts are banquets that she will work and they get paid out to her on the check rather than cash but with a $0 check she makes nothing from that shift. There’s a lot to this and it just blows my mind.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Between the tips being cashed out and the taxes on the tips being taken out of the paycheck, it's not unusual for servers to end up with zero net pay on their check. Some restaurants do report a minimum percentage of tips to avoid getting in trouble with IRS, it's possible that could be happening here. Without understanding exactly what she's walking away with every day in tips and the specifics of her paystub, it's hard to say for sure if something illegal is happening. If restaurant says they are paying credit card tips on her check and not cashing them out at end of shift, then her paycheck should definitely be higher unless everyone tips in cash.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My GF’s restaurant job is claiming more tips than she actually makes per week resulting in her getting a $0 net pay from them on her check. Management denies it and gives us the run around. Who do we go to for this type of situation? Her paycheck shows about $1,400 claimed tips with about $1,200 in taxable deductions(take home cash I am assuming) but in reality she’s likely walked home around $500 in this period. This is based on 34 total hours of work, 17 hours a week. Some shifts are banquets that she will work and they get paid out to her on the check rather than cash but with a $0 check she makes nothing from that shift. There’s a lot to this and it just blows my mind.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What location?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My GF’s restaurant job is claiming more tips than she actually makes per week resulting in her getting a $0 net pay from them on her check. Management denies it and gives us the run around. Who do we go to for this type of situation? Her paycheck shows about $1,400 claimed tips with about $1,200 in taxable deductions(take home cash I am assuming) but in reality she’s likely walked home around $500 in this period. This is based on 34 total hours of work, 17 hours a week. Some shifts are banquets that she will work and they get paid out to her on the check rather than cash but with a $0 check she makes nothing from that shift. There’s a lot to this and it just blows my mind.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You need to break down how much she made in cash tips, how much in credit card tips, and how much she tips out to bussers, etc. From there, you compare those numbers with the cash and credit card tip amounts that the restaurant is reporting and you'll be able to see where they are overestimating her tips. In general, the tips being claimed should be at least 12% of the server's sales to avoid IRS issues. Servers usually something right around 12% or so. It would be unusual for a server to claim more than about 15-17% of sales. So you can also check her sales for those two weeks as a sanity check. At $500 in claimed tips, her sales for 2 weeks should be around $4,200, which seems pretty low, tbh. At $1,400 in claimed tips, her sales should be $11,500 or so, which sounds like it's closer to accurate, but maybe a bit high for 6 - 7 shifts. Both parties may be a bit off in their accounting here. Her best bet is to start keeping very accurate and detailed logs of all her tips for a pay period, and then going back to management with her results. In the meantime, she might have some luck asking another server to look over her pay stub to see if anything looks unusual.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Kansas: My neighbors appear to be hiding a vehicle between my rental home's fence, and their garage. It is parked on grass that i am responsible for mowing, so i assume \"my property\". If its stolen, or was involved in a crime, could i get in trouble? They covered the plate with a paper towel...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you like your neighbors, ask what's going on or if they can move it periodically so you can keep mowing. If you do not like them, call the police non-emergency number and report the plate and make, stating that you found it hidden. Is there a chance a 3rd party stashed it and they don't know it's there?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Kansas: My neighbors appear to be hiding a vehicle between my rental home's fence, and their garage. It is parked on grass that i am responsible for mowing, so i assume \"my property\". If its stolen, or was involved in a crime, could i get in trouble? They covered the plate with a paper towel...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Maybe they're trying to avoid getting it repo'd? Although what's the point if they can't drive it.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Landlord has been harassing me about \"neighbors' complaints about cat smell.\" Today she admitted she was lying about the complaints and the smell. How do I stop the harassment? (Note: I admit this is a crazy situation. I wouldn't believe it myself if it weren't happening to me, but I've documented everything.) ​ I'm an apartment tenant who moved to a city in New York State in November last year. For the first nine months I lived here, things were peaceful and I got along well with the landlord and maintenance. In July, when I was paying my rent, the landlord told me that there had been \"complaints\" from the neighbors about a smell coming from my apartment. I was very apologetic, but I was also a bit confused as I didn't notice any odd smells in my place. I have two cats, but I'd been keeping their litterboxes clean. I had cats in the two apartments I'd lived in prior to moving here, and there hadn't been any complaints there or in the nine months prior here. But I promised to be extra vigilant about any smells, and I was. ​ Then at the beginning of this month when I paid my rent again, the landlord again referred to \"neighbors' complaints\" about smells from my apartment. I said I'd again make sure any smells were taken care of--even though neither I nor anyone else could smell anything off--and again I did. Two weeks later there was a threatening note my door claiming that I was not keeping my apartment \"to standard\" and that this was a \"final warning\". This time I was a bit more angry about it, as I had really been vigilant about everything--new litter pans, deodorants everywhere, cleaned apartment from top to bottom in those two weeks, the works. I could smell absolutely nothing in my apartment, even if I put my face right next to the litterbox! The landlord told me she would come to my apartment in person today. As it happened this morning there were a couple maintenance men fixing the washing machine in the room next to mine. I asked them if they'd noticed \"anything unusual\" in the hallway by my door...they said they did not, no smells or anything else. I was getting a little suspicious. ​ Sure enough about an hour later the landlord comes over and immediately starts complaining about \"overwhelming smells\" coming from my door. I mentioned what the maintenance men had just said about the hallway. She claimed \"well it's cat pee and it has to be your apartment because nobody else in this building has cats.\" (Totally false...in fact the neighbor directly across the hall also has two cats!) She continued on by saying \"well the neighbors are sure that it's coming from your apartment.\" I asked how the neighbors could be certain of that. Then she backtracked. \"*Well actually the neighbors haven't made any complaints*, but I think there's a cat smell here.\" Then she claimed that she knew there was a cat smell \"because I can tell when you come to pay the rent.\" Uh...really? \"*OK maybe it isn't cat smell*, I don't know, maybe you smell bad? I don't know.\" I was totally speechless. Then she quickly made excuses, saying she'd be back next week, and took off. ​ I realize this is a situation almost too stupid for words, but I'm at my wits' end here. Basically the landlord is threatening me over a totally non-existent problem, compounding it by lying about \"neighbors' complaints\" that never happened, and topping it off by insulting me about alleged bad body odor. (And yes I'll be the first to agree that people are immune to their own body odor, but she's claimed that it can be smelled in the hallway outside of my apartment even when I haven't been there for days!) I'm not sure what the legal remedy might be for this, but this harassment absolutely has to stop. I'm furious that I've been lied to, threatened, and insulted over this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeahhh... I work in property management and agree with the previous comment. Your landlord is gearing up for something involved with you specifically. It’s unprofessional. I would leave as soon as possible which is likely what she wants you to do.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Landlord has been harassing me about \"neighbors' complaints about cat smell.\" Today she admitted she was lying about the complaints and the smell. How do I stop the harassment? (Note: I admit this is a crazy situation. I wouldn't believe it myself if it weren't happening to me, but I've documented everything.) ​ I'm an apartment tenant who moved to a city in New York State in November last year. For the first nine months I lived here, things were peaceful and I got along well with the landlord and maintenance. In July, when I was paying my rent, the landlord told me that there had been \"complaints\" from the neighbors about a smell coming from my apartment. I was very apologetic, but I was also a bit confused as I didn't notice any odd smells in my place. I have two cats, but I'd been keeping their litterboxes clean. I had cats in the two apartments I'd lived in prior to moving here, and there hadn't been any complaints there or in the nine months prior here. But I promised to be extra vigilant about any smells, and I was. ​ Then at the beginning of this month when I paid my rent again, the landlord again referred to \"neighbors' complaints\" about smells from my apartment. I said I'd again make sure any smells were taken care of--even though neither I nor anyone else could smell anything off--and again I did. Two weeks later there was a threatening note my door claiming that I was not keeping my apartment \"to standard\" and that this was a \"final warning\". This time I was a bit more angry about it, as I had really been vigilant about everything--new litter pans, deodorants everywhere, cleaned apartment from top to bottom in those two weeks, the works. I could smell absolutely nothing in my apartment, even if I put my face right next to the litterbox! The landlord told me she would come to my apartment in person today. As it happened this morning there were a couple maintenance men fixing the washing machine in the room next to mine. I asked them if they'd noticed \"anything unusual\" in the hallway by my door...they said they did not, no smells or anything else. I was getting a little suspicious. ​ Sure enough about an hour later the landlord comes over and immediately starts complaining about \"overwhelming smells\" coming from my door. I mentioned what the maintenance men had just said about the hallway. She claimed \"well it's cat pee and it has to be your apartment because nobody else in this building has cats.\" (Totally false...in fact the neighbor directly across the hall also has two cats!) She continued on by saying \"well the neighbors are sure that it's coming from your apartment.\" I asked how the neighbors could be certain of that. Then she backtracked. \"*Well actually the neighbors haven't made any complaints*, but I think there's a cat smell here.\" Then she claimed that she knew there was a cat smell \"because I can tell when you come to pay the rent.\" Uh...really? \"*OK maybe it isn't cat smell*, I don't know, maybe you smell bad? I don't know.\" I was totally speechless. Then she quickly made excuses, saying she'd be back next week, and took off. ​ I realize this is a situation almost too stupid for words, but I'm at my wits' end here. Basically the landlord is threatening me over a totally non-existent problem, compounding it by lying about \"neighbors' complaints\" that never happened, and topping it off by insulting me about alleged bad body odor. (And yes I'll be the first to agree that people are immune to their own body odor, but she's claimed that it can be smelled in the hallway outside of my apartment even when I haven't been there for days!) I'm not sure what the legal remedy might be for this, but this harassment absolutely has to stop. I'm furious that I've been lied to, threatened, and insulted over this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Legal advice: landlord hasn't done anything illegal. If she files for eviction, show up. Practical: no more friendly chats. Email only, strictly business. Send rent via your bank's bill pay, or certified mail. If you must speak in person, record her. There's something fishy afoot, either in her intentions or in her noodle.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My mother was fired abruptly after 25+ years of service My mother worked at Wendys for around 28 years and last week she was fired for \"upsetting a coworker\". No written warning, as per the policy in the handbook. Was told she had been given two prior verbal warnings but that was it. In the last couple years it had come to my mothers attention, through various conversations with her coworkers, that employees just starting out were being paid more than my mother. And that other employees were getting raise increases more than my mother. After 28 years you would think she would be at least making the same amount as people starting. My question is, is there a case here on the pay discrepancy alone? How could she go about legal action against her former employer and whose attention would she need to get? She is located in PA. She will be 60 this year and is a widow, and now being unemployed may be tough to pursue this cause if it is a lost one from the get go. The Wendys is I believe a franchise location, but it may have went corporate a couple years ago.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "When your mother turns 60 because she is a widow she will be eligible to draw off her husband's Social Security account (if this is in the USA and he paid into SSA). So I hope that will be able to help you. Normally, you have to have a written warning after a verbal warning before you can be fired but consult with an attorney who specializes in age discrimination cases.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My mother was fired abruptly after 25+ years of service My mother worked at Wendys for around 28 years and last week she was fired for \"upsetting a coworker\". No written warning, as per the policy in the handbook. Was told she had been given two prior verbal warnings but that was it. In the last couple years it had come to my mothers attention, through various conversations with her coworkers, that employees just starting out were being paid more than my mother. And that other employees were getting raise increases more than my mother. After 28 years you would think she would be at least making the same amount as people starting. My question is, is there a case here on the pay discrepancy alone? How could she go about legal action against her former employer and whose attention would she need to get? She is located in PA. She will be 60 this year and is a widow, and now being unemployed may be tough to pursue this cause if it is a lost one from the get go. The Wendys is I believe a franchise location, but it may have went corporate a couple years ago.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah you can be fired for being mean. You can be fired for almost any reason, save for reasons forbidden by law (being a woman, for example, Caroline Products FN4 and whatever else has come after, been awhile since I took Con Law). But she has a ton of experience. She should apply to damn near any fast food joint that needs people and get a job. I am sure she knows the jkb well enough to be a shift Mgr. So when she does that, she needs to go back and thank the people at Wendy's for forcing her from her comfort zone and getting the promotion and raise she deserved.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My mother was fired abruptly after 25+ years of service My mother worked at Wendys for around 28 years and last week she was fired for \"upsetting a coworker\". No written warning, as per the policy in the handbook. Was told she had been given two prior verbal warnings but that was it. In the last couple years it had come to my mothers attention, through various conversations with her coworkers, that employees just starting out were being paid more than my mother. And that other employees were getting raise increases more than my mother. After 28 years you would think she would be at least making the same amount as people starting. My question is, is there a case here on the pay discrepancy alone? How could she go about legal action against her former employer and whose attention would she need to get? She is located in PA. She will be 60 this year and is a widow, and now being unemployed may be tough to pursue this cause if it is a lost one from the get go. The Wendys is I believe a franchise location, but it may have went corporate a couple years ago.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If she was being paid less than new employees then she can apply at another fast food restaurant and make more money. Is she losing benefits?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My mother was fired abruptly after 25+ years of service My mother worked at Wendys for around 28 years and last week she was fired for \"upsetting a coworker\". No written warning, as per the policy in the handbook. Was told she had been given two prior verbal warnings but that was it. In the last couple years it had come to my mothers attention, through various conversations with her coworkers, that employees just starting out were being paid more than my mother. And that other employees were getting raise increases more than my mother. After 28 years you would think she would be at least making the same amount as people starting. My question is, is there a case here on the pay discrepancy alone? How could she go about legal action against her former employer and whose attention would she need to get? She is located in PA. She will be 60 this year and is a widow, and now being unemployed may be tough to pursue this cause if it is a lost one from the get go. The Wendys is I believe a franchise location, but it may have went corporate a couple years ago.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "*In the last couple years it had come to my mothers attention, through various conversations with her coworkers, that employees just starting out were being paid more than my mother.* This is everywhere. In today's job market, the way to raise your income is to change jobs. Staying in the same fast food job for over 20 years is not the way to make money or advance yourself. Not even saying you have to get out of fast food, you just have to change jobs often at least every 5 years or so to get paid.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "WV - My girlfriend works as an RA at a university, and they’ve told her she’s not allowed to work more than 10 hours anywhere besides the university. Is this legal? She’s been working as an RA for a while and recently picked up a promotion, but they’ve told her the entire time that she’s only allowed to work 10 hours a week total. So she can’t go pick up weekend shifts at Walmart or wherever and make any extra money. Is this totally legal? If it’s not, what can she do to express that tactfully, and what resources can she use to convey that she in fact can work more than they want to allow? Thanks a bunch everyone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes it is legal. They can set any conditions of employment unless it is discrimination of a protected class. She accepts them by working there.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "WV - My girlfriend works as an RA at a university, and they’ve told her she’s not allowed to work more than 10 hours anywhere besides the university. Is this legal? She’s been working as an RA for a while and recently picked up a promotion, but they’ve told her the entire time that she’s only allowed to work 10 hours a week total. So she can’t go pick up weekend shifts at Walmart or wherever and make any extra money. Is this totally legal? If it’s not, what can she do to express that tactfully, and what resources can she use to convey that she in fact can work more than they want to allow? Thanks a bunch everyone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If it's in her agreement, yes, it's legal. An RA is a resource for the students in the dorm. Having RAs who are never there between work and classes and their social lives isn't beneficial to the school or the students.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "WV - My girlfriend works as an RA at a university, and they’ve told her she’s not allowed to work more than 10 hours anywhere besides the university. Is this legal? She’s been working as an RA for a while and recently picked up a promotion, but they’ve told her the entire time that she’s only allowed to work 10 hours a week total. So she can’t go pick up weekend shifts at Walmart or wherever and make any extra money. Is this totally legal? If it’s not, what can she do to express that tactfully, and what resources can she use to convey that she in fact can work more than they want to allow? Thanks a bunch everyone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's legal for them to fire her as an RA if she has another job.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "WV - My girlfriend works as an RA at a university, and they’ve told her she’s not allowed to work more than 10 hours anywhere besides the university. Is this legal? She’s been working as an RA for a while and recently picked up a promotion, but they’ve told her the entire time that she’s only allowed to work 10 hours a week total. So she can’t go pick up weekend shifts at Walmart or wherever and make any extra money. Is this totally legal? If it’s not, what can she do to express that tactfully, and what resources can she use to convey that she in fact can work more than they want to allow? Thanks a bunch everyone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If it's in her agreement, yes, it's legal. An RA is a resource for the students in the dorm. Having RAs who are never there between work and classes and their social lives isn't beneficial to the school or the students.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My GF made me write a signed document stating that if I cheat on her again, I have to send her $10k. Will this actually hold any power over me? The location is Charlotte, North Carolina. It's not that I will ever cheat on her, it's just scary giving rise to the possibility of this being held over me, and it wasn't even written in there that it becomes void if we break up. She was recording me write it but didn't get me signing it on camera. I'm mainly looking for peace of mind that it can't actually be used against me and it was honestly just supposed to be kind of funny for us and a way to help us move on, but the more I think about it, the more its kinda freakin me out. Heres a link to a photo of it. https://imgur.com/a/BDri8rz Any help is appreciated!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The document does not mention when you would need the pay the money or give a puppy. Also, you need to pay Alyssa the money but who is Alyssa? Is it the same Alyssa whose names is blanked out? There are many things wrong with this document.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My GF made me write a signed document stating that if I cheat on her again, I have to send her $10k. Will this actually hold any power over me? The location is Charlotte, North Carolina. It's not that I will ever cheat on her, it's just scary giving rise to the possibility of this being held over me, and it wasn't even written in there that it becomes void if we break up. She was recording me write it but didn't get me signing it on camera. I'm mainly looking for peace of mind that it can't actually be used against me and it was honestly just supposed to be kind of funny for us and a way to help us move on, but the more I think about it, the more its kinda freakin me out. Heres a link to a photo of it. https://imgur.com/a/BDri8rz Any help is appreciated!", "role": "user" }, { "content": ">and it wasn't even written in there that it becomes void if we break up If you break up with her, you can't be cheating on her. But it only specifies women, so you can engage with men as much as you want, so go wild! As others have mentioned, I don't think this would hold up and you two really should just move on from one another.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My GF made me write a signed document stating that if I cheat on her again, I have to send her $10k. Will this actually hold any power over me? The location is Charlotte, North Carolina. It's not that I will ever cheat on her, it's just scary giving rise to the possibility of this being held over me, and it wasn't even written in there that it becomes void if we break up. She was recording me write it but didn't get me signing it on camera. I'm mainly looking for peace of mind that it can't actually be used against me and it was honestly just supposed to be kind of funny for us and a way to help us move on, but the more I think about it, the more its kinda freakin me out. Heres a link to a photo of it. https://imgur.com/a/BDri8rz Any help is appreciated!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My GF made me write a signed document stating that if I cheat on her again, I have to send her $10k. Will this actually hold any power over me? The location is Charlotte, North Carolina. It's not that I will ever cheat on her, it's just scary giving rise to the possibility of this being held over me, and it wasn't even written in there that it becomes void if we break up. She was recording me write it but didn't get me signing it on camera. I'm mainly looking for peace of mind that it can't actually be used against me and it was honestly just supposed to be kind of funny for us and a way to help us move on, but the more I think about it, the more its kinda freakin me out. Heres a link to a photo of it. https://imgur.com/a/BDri8rz Any help is appreciated!", "role": "user" }, { "content": ">and it wasn't even written in there that it becomes void if we break up If you break up with her, you can't be cheating on her. But it only specifies women, so you can engage with men as much as you want, so go wild! As others have mentioned, I don't think this would hold up and you two really should just move on from one another.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My GF made me write a signed document stating that if I cheat on her again, I have to send her $10k. Will this actually hold any power over me? The location is Charlotte, North Carolina. It's not that I will ever cheat on her, it's just scary giving rise to the possibility of this being held over me, and it wasn't even written in there that it becomes void if we break up. She was recording me write it but didn't get me signing it on camera. I'm mainly looking for peace of mind that it can't actually be used against me and it was honestly just supposed to be kind of funny for us and a way to help us move on, but the more I think about it, the more its kinda freakin me out. Heres a link to a photo of it. https://imgur.com/a/BDri8rz Any help is appreciated!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The document does not mention when you would need the pay the money or give a puppy. Also, you need to pay Alyssa the money but who is Alyssa? Is it the same Alyssa whose names is blanked out? There are many things wrong with this document.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My GF made me write a signed document stating that if I cheat on her again, I have to send her $10k. Will this actually hold any power over me? The location is Charlotte, North Carolina. It's not that I will ever cheat on her, it's just scary giving rise to the possibility of this being held over me, and it wasn't even written in there that it becomes void if we break up. She was recording me write it but didn't get me signing it on camera. I'm mainly looking for peace of mind that it can't actually be used against me and it was honestly just supposed to be kind of funny for us and a way to help us move on, but the more I think about it, the more its kinda freakin me out. Heres a link to a photo of it. https://imgur.com/a/BDri8rz Any help is appreciated!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It appears to lack consideration. A contract requires consideration. Consideration being what she offers in return for the consideration you provided her. Both parties must offer some form of consideration. For instance, a piece of paper that says \"IOU $60 dollars - signed X\" is worthless because it lacks consideration. But a piece of paper that says \"IOU $60 dollars in exchange for mowing my yard - signed X\" is enforceable. Because the consideration exchanged for that $60 dollars is mowing the yard. Consideration must be provided by both parties.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My GF made me write a signed document stating that if I cheat on her again, I have to send her $10k. Will this actually hold any power over me? The location is Charlotte, North Carolina. It's not that I will ever cheat on her, it's just scary giving rise to the possibility of this being held over me, and it wasn't even written in there that it becomes void if we break up. She was recording me write it but didn't get me signing it on camera. I'm mainly looking for peace of mind that it can't actually be used against me and it was honestly just supposed to be kind of funny for us and a way to help us move on, but the more I think about it, the more its kinda freakin me out. Heres a link to a photo of it. https://imgur.com/a/BDri8rz Any help is appreciated!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My GF made me write a signed document stating that if I cheat on her again, I have to send her $10k. Will this actually hold any power over me? The location is Charlotte, North Carolina. It's not that I will ever cheat on her, it's just scary giving rise to the possibility of this being held over me, and it wasn't even written in there that it becomes void if we break up. She was recording me write it but didn't get me signing it on camera. I'm mainly looking for peace of mind that it can't actually be used against me and it was honestly just supposed to be kind of funny for us and a way to help us move on, but the more I think about it, the more its kinda freakin me out. Heres a link to a photo of it. https://imgur.com/a/BDri8rz Any help is appreciated!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It appears to lack consideration. A contract requires consideration. Consideration being what she offers in return for the consideration you provided her. Both parties must offer some form of consideration. For instance, a piece of paper that says \"IOU $60 dollars - signed X\" is worthless because it lacks consideration. But a piece of paper that says \"IOU $60 dollars in exchange for mowing my yard - signed X\" is enforceable. Because the consideration exchanged for that $60 dollars is mowing the yard. Consideration must be provided by both parties.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My GF made me write a signed document stating that if I cheat on her again, I have to send her $10k. Will this actually hold any power over me? The location is Charlotte, North Carolina. It's not that I will ever cheat on her, it's just scary giving rise to the possibility of this being held over me, and it wasn't even written in there that it becomes void if we break up. She was recording me write it but didn't get me signing it on camera. I'm mainly looking for peace of mind that it can't actually be used against me and it was honestly just supposed to be kind of funny for us and a way to help us move on, but the more I think about it, the more its kinda freakin me out. Heres a link to a photo of it. https://imgur.com/a/BDri8rz Any help is appreciated!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My GF made me write a signed document stating that if I cheat on her again, I have to send her $10k. Will this actually hold any power over me? The location is Charlotte, North Carolina. It's not that I will ever cheat on her, it's just scary giving rise to the possibility of this being held over me, and it wasn't even written in there that it becomes void if we break up. She was recording me write it but didn't get me signing it on camera. I'm mainly looking for peace of mind that it can't actually be used against me and it was honestly just supposed to be kind of funny for us and a way to help us move on, but the more I think about it, the more its kinda freakin me out. Heres a link to a photo of it. https://imgur.com/a/BDri8rz Any help is appreciated!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The document does not mention when you would need the pay the money or give a puppy. Also, you need to pay Alyssa the money but who is Alyssa? Is it the same Alyssa whose names is blanked out? There are many things wrong with this document.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Wife using breast pump at work and coworkers are giving her a hard time - VA My wife and I have a 4 month old. She works at a public high school. Each day she is allotted 2-3 breaks per day to pump. These breaks are at specific times based on her schedule. Originally, they tried to put her in a bathroom to pump, but she objected. So then they found a break room with running water and a refrigerator and created a makeshift \"room\" using tall filing cabinets. She is fine with this arrangement. Initially there were times where supervisors are upset with her because she can't cover other teacher's classes due to her pumping schedule. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but it stresses her out. Now there is one particular woman who isn't happy the my wife is pumping in this room. I guess because other people are in there. This woman started a text chain with everyone in the special education department (wife's department) except my wife. The purpose of this was this lady asking if anyone else had a problem with my wife pumping in that room. My wife found out about this when a friend of hers told her about the text chain because she didn't want to be talking about her behind her back. Now this lady has gone to the head of the SpEd department complaining that someone walked in on my wife pumping. This is a straight up lie because it is not possible to see my wife without her seeing you as well or without climbing on top of and across multiple filing cabinets. This morning this lady came in to the room when my wife was pumping and said \"I thought you weren't allowed to pump in here anymore.\" My wife informed her that none of the other areas provided to her has reasonable access to refrigeration or running water. One was literally an electrical closet on the other side of the building. Plus no one had told her anything even remotely close to that. My wife replied that it is not her (wife's) responsibility to find an adequate place to pump. It is the schools responsibility to provide an adequate space. The lady then told my wife that she would find something else by the end of the day. This lady's constant harping on this has really stressed out my wife. It is actually affecting her milk supply. She gets less than half the amount when pumping at work than when she pumps at home. I'm also very frustrated. At what point is this harassment, hostile work environment, or some other violation of state/federal law? What's the best way to handle this if things continue to deteriorate?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Is your wife part of a union? If so, she should speak with her union rep. If not (or in addition to), she absolutely should address this with the administration.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Wife using breast pump at work and coworkers are giving her a hard time - VA My wife and I have a 4 month old. She works at a public high school. Each day she is allotted 2-3 breaks per day to pump. These breaks are at specific times based on her schedule. Originally, they tried to put her in a bathroom to pump, but she objected. So then they found a break room with running water and a refrigerator and created a makeshift \"room\" using tall filing cabinets. She is fine with this arrangement. Initially there were times where supervisors are upset with her because she can't cover other teacher's classes due to her pumping schedule. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but it stresses her out. Now there is one particular woman who isn't happy the my wife is pumping in this room. I guess because other people are in there. This woman started a text chain with everyone in the special education department (wife's department) except my wife. The purpose of this was this lady asking if anyone else had a problem with my wife pumping in that room. My wife found out about this when a friend of hers told her about the text chain because she didn't want to be talking about her behind her back. Now this lady has gone to the head of the SpEd department complaining that someone walked in on my wife pumping. This is a straight up lie because it is not possible to see my wife without her seeing you as well or without climbing on top of and across multiple filing cabinets. This morning this lady came in to the room when my wife was pumping and said \"I thought you weren't allowed to pump in here anymore.\" My wife informed her that none of the other areas provided to her has reasonable access to refrigeration or running water. One was literally an electrical closet on the other side of the building. Plus no one had told her anything even remotely close to that. My wife replied that it is not her (wife's) responsibility to find an adequate place to pump. It is the schools responsibility to provide an adequate space. The lady then told my wife that she would find something else by the end of the day. This lady's constant harping on this has really stressed out my wife. It is actually affecting her milk supply. She gets less than half the amount when pumping at work than when she pumps at home. I'm also very frustrated. At what point is this harassment, hostile work environment, or some other violation of state/federal law? What's the best way to handle this if things continue to deteriorate?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Assuming this lady is just some random other employee, your wife should report the harassment to her management.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Wife using breast pump at work and coworkers are giving her a hard time - VA My wife and I have a 4 month old. She works at a public high school. Each day she is allotted 2-3 breaks per day to pump. These breaks are at specific times based on her schedule. Originally, they tried to put her in a bathroom to pump, but she objected. So then they found a break room with running water and a refrigerator and created a makeshift \"room\" using tall filing cabinets. She is fine with this arrangement. Initially there were times where supervisors are upset with her because she can't cover other teacher's classes due to her pumping schedule. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but it stresses her out. Now there is one particular woman who isn't happy the my wife is pumping in this room. I guess because other people are in there. This woman started a text chain with everyone in the special education department (wife's department) except my wife. The purpose of this was this lady asking if anyone else had a problem with my wife pumping in that room. My wife found out about this when a friend of hers told her about the text chain because she didn't want to be talking about her behind her back. Now this lady has gone to the head of the SpEd department complaining that someone walked in on my wife pumping. This is a straight up lie because it is not possible to see my wife without her seeing you as well or without climbing on top of and across multiple filing cabinets. This morning this lady came in to the room when my wife was pumping and said \"I thought you weren't allowed to pump in here anymore.\" My wife informed her that none of the other areas provided to her has reasonable access to refrigeration or running water. One was literally an electrical closet on the other side of the building. Plus no one had told her anything even remotely close to that. My wife replied that it is not her (wife's) responsibility to find an adequate place to pump. It is the schools responsibility to provide an adequate space. The lady then told my wife that she would find something else by the end of the day. This lady's constant harping on this has really stressed out my wife. It is actually affecting her milk supply. She gets less than half the amount when pumping at work than when she pumps at home. I'm also very frustrated. At what point is this harassment, hostile work environment, or some other violation of state/federal law? What's the best way to handle this if things continue to deteriorate?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Not a lawyer, just a lurker. Sounds like this \"lady\" needs to be reminded that it's a federal law that your wife be provided both the time and a non-bathroom space to pump. If I were her, I'd reach out to either/both the school's HR department and/or teacher's union (of applicable). I would think that both/either would want to nip this in the bud before it escalates into am obvious legal issues that would open them to liability (again, Not a lawyer, but my thinking is that if this woman gets it in her mind to barge in on your wife to prove a point, your wife could make a car for harassment, assault, etc. My understanding is that the employer has to provide a non-bathroom space with a locking door.) Side advice: get your wife a nice set of headphones or ear buds, so she can listen to something nice and calming while pumping at work. May help ease the stress by both providing a calming atmosphere, and blocking out any remarks, comments, or questions from this person.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Wife using breast pump at work and coworkers are giving her a hard time - VA My wife and I have a 4 month old. She works at a public high school. Each day she is allotted 2-3 breaks per day to pump. These breaks are at specific times based on her schedule. Originally, they tried to put her in a bathroom to pump, but she objected. So then they found a break room with running water and a refrigerator and created a makeshift \"room\" using tall filing cabinets. She is fine with this arrangement. Initially there were times where supervisors are upset with her because she can't cover other teacher's classes due to her pumping schedule. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but it stresses her out. Now there is one particular woman who isn't happy the my wife is pumping in this room. I guess because other people are in there. This woman started a text chain with everyone in the special education department (wife's department) except my wife. The purpose of this was this lady asking if anyone else had a problem with my wife pumping in that room. My wife found out about this when a friend of hers told her about the text chain because she didn't want to be talking about her behind her back. Now this lady has gone to the head of the SpEd department complaining that someone walked in on my wife pumping. This is a straight up lie because it is not possible to see my wife without her seeing you as well or without climbing on top of and across multiple filing cabinets. This morning this lady came in to the room when my wife was pumping and said \"I thought you weren't allowed to pump in here anymore.\" My wife informed her that none of the other areas provided to her has reasonable access to refrigeration or running water. One was literally an electrical closet on the other side of the building. Plus no one had told her anything even remotely close to that. My wife replied that it is not her (wife's) responsibility to find an adequate place to pump. It is the schools responsibility to provide an adequate space. The lady then told my wife that she would find something else by the end of the day. This lady's constant harping on this has really stressed out my wife. It is actually affecting her milk supply. She gets less than half the amount when pumping at work than when she pumps at home. I'm also very frustrated. At what point is this harassment, hostile work environment, or some other violation of state/federal law? What's the best way to handle this if things continue to deteriorate?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Assuming this lady is just some random other employee, your wife should report the harassment to her management.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Wife using breast pump at work and coworkers are giving her a hard time - VA My wife and I have a 4 month old. She works at a public high school. Each day she is allotted 2-3 breaks per day to pump. These breaks are at specific times based on her schedule. Originally, they tried to put her in a bathroom to pump, but she objected. So then they found a break room with running water and a refrigerator and created a makeshift \"room\" using tall filing cabinets. She is fine with this arrangement. Initially there were times where supervisors are upset with her because she can't cover other teacher's classes due to her pumping schedule. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but it stresses her out. Now there is one particular woman who isn't happy the my wife is pumping in this room. I guess because other people are in there. This woman started a text chain with everyone in the special education department (wife's department) except my wife. The purpose of this was this lady asking if anyone else had a problem with my wife pumping in that room. My wife found out about this when a friend of hers told her about the text chain because she didn't want to be talking about her behind her back. Now this lady has gone to the head of the SpEd department complaining that someone walked in on my wife pumping. This is a straight up lie because it is not possible to see my wife without her seeing you as well or without climbing on top of and across multiple filing cabinets. This morning this lady came in to the room when my wife was pumping and said \"I thought you weren't allowed to pump in here anymore.\" My wife informed her that none of the other areas provided to her has reasonable access to refrigeration or running water. One was literally an electrical closet on the other side of the building. Plus no one had told her anything even remotely close to that. My wife replied that it is not her (wife's) responsibility to find an adequate place to pump. It is the schools responsibility to provide an adequate space. The lady then told my wife that she would find something else by the end of the day. This lady's constant harping on this has really stressed out my wife. It is actually affecting her milk supply. She gets less than half the amount when pumping at work than when she pumps at home. I'm also very frustrated. At what point is this harassment, hostile work environment, or some other violation of state/federal law? What's the best way to handle this if things continue to deteriorate?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Is your wife part of a union? If so, she should speak with her union rep. If not (or in addition to), she absolutely should address this with the administration.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Wife using breast pump at work and coworkers are giving her a hard time - VA My wife and I have a 4 month old. She works at a public high school. Each day she is allotted 2-3 breaks per day to pump. These breaks are at specific times based on her schedule. Originally, they tried to put her in a bathroom to pump, but she objected. So then they found a break room with running water and a refrigerator and created a makeshift \"room\" using tall filing cabinets. She is fine with this arrangement. Initially there were times where supervisors are upset with her because she can't cover other teacher's classes due to her pumping schedule. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but it stresses her out. Now there is one particular woman who isn't happy the my wife is pumping in this room. I guess because other people are in there. This woman started a text chain with everyone in the special education department (wife's department) except my wife. The purpose of this was this lady asking if anyone else had a problem with my wife pumping in that room. My wife found out about this when a friend of hers told her about the text chain because she didn't want to be talking about her behind her back. Now this lady has gone to the head of the SpEd department complaining that someone walked in on my wife pumping. This is a straight up lie because it is not possible to see my wife without her seeing you as well or without climbing on top of and across multiple filing cabinets. This morning this lady came in to the room when my wife was pumping and said \"I thought you weren't allowed to pump in here anymore.\" My wife informed her that none of the other areas provided to her has reasonable access to refrigeration or running water. One was literally an electrical closet on the other side of the building. Plus no one had told her anything even remotely close to that. My wife replied that it is not her (wife's) responsibility to find an adequate place to pump. It is the schools responsibility to provide an adequate space. The lady then told my wife that she would find something else by the end of the day. This lady's constant harping on this has really stressed out my wife. It is actually affecting her milk supply. She gets less than half the amount when pumping at work than when she pumps at home. I'm also very frustrated. At what point is this harassment, hostile work environment, or some other violation of state/federal law? What's the best way to handle this if things continue to deteriorate?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It appears she is being harassed. Here is the Virginia state law protecting her right: Enacted in 2015, Va. Code § 32.1-370 states in relevant part, “A mother may breastfeed in any place where the mother is lawfully present…” If you have a question or concern about this law or feel your rights have been violated please email vabreastfeeds@vdh.virginia.gov Also a school employee specific law can be found here: https://lis.virginia.gov/cgi-bin/legp604.exe?141+ful+HB720ER+pdf And to save you a click: “Be it enacted by the General Assembly of Virginia: 1. That the Code of Virginia is amended by adding a section numbered 22.1-79.5 as follows: § 22.1-79.5. Employee lactation support policy. Each local school board shall adopt a policy to set aside, in each school in the school division, a non-restroom location that is shielded from the public view to be designated as an area in which any mother who is employed by the local school board or enrolled as a student may take breaks of reasonable length during the school day to express milk to feed her child until the child reaches the age of one.” Your wife may also have additional rights if she is a member of a teachers union. She could also take this matter to HR or straight to the Board of Education. Edit: The first one, Va. Code § 32.1-370 covers breastfeeding on Commonwealth property so not applicable unless it’s a school owned or operated by the Commonwealth of Virginia. But the second one, § 22.1-79.5 would apply to all public (presumably) schools.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Wife using breast pump at work and coworkers are giving her a hard time - VA My wife and I have a 4 month old. She works at a public high school. Each day she is allotted 2-3 breaks per day to pump. These breaks are at specific times based on her schedule. Originally, they tried to put her in a bathroom to pump, but she objected. So then they found a break room with running water and a refrigerator and created a makeshift \"room\" using tall filing cabinets. She is fine with this arrangement. Initially there were times where supervisors are upset with her because she can't cover other teacher's classes due to her pumping schedule. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but it stresses her out. Now there is one particular woman who isn't happy the my wife is pumping in this room. I guess because other people are in there. This woman started a text chain with everyone in the special education department (wife's department) except my wife. The purpose of this was this lady asking if anyone else had a problem with my wife pumping in that room. My wife found out about this when a friend of hers told her about the text chain because she didn't want to be talking about her behind her back. Now this lady has gone to the head of the SpEd department complaining that someone walked in on my wife pumping. This is a straight up lie because it is not possible to see my wife without her seeing you as well or without climbing on top of and across multiple filing cabinets. This morning this lady came in to the room when my wife was pumping and said \"I thought you weren't allowed to pump in here anymore.\" My wife informed her that none of the other areas provided to her has reasonable access to refrigeration or running water. One was literally an electrical closet on the other side of the building. Plus no one had told her anything even remotely close to that. My wife replied that it is not her (wife's) responsibility to find an adequate place to pump. It is the schools responsibility to provide an adequate space. The lady then told my wife that she would find something else by the end of the day. This lady's constant harping on this has really stressed out my wife. It is actually affecting her milk supply. She gets less than half the amount when pumping at work than when she pumps at home. I'm also very frustrated. At what point is this harassment, hostile work environment, or some other violation of state/federal law? What's the best way to handle this if things continue to deteriorate?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Not a lawyer, just a lurker. Sounds like this \"lady\" needs to be reminded that it's a federal law that your wife be provided both the time and a non-bathroom space to pump. If I were her, I'd reach out to either/both the school's HR department and/or teacher's union (of applicable). I would think that both/either would want to nip this in the bud before it escalates into am obvious legal issues that would open them to liability (again, Not a lawyer, but my thinking is that if this woman gets it in her mind to barge in on your wife to prove a point, your wife could make a car for harassment, assault, etc. My understanding is that the employer has to provide a non-bathroom space with a locking door.) Side advice: get your wife a nice set of headphones or ear buds, so she can listen to something nice and calming while pumping at work. May help ease the stress by both providing a calming atmosphere, and blocking out any remarks, comments, or questions from this person.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Wife using breast pump at work and coworkers are giving her a hard time - VA My wife and I have a 4 month old. She works at a public high school. Each day she is allotted 2-3 breaks per day to pump. These breaks are at specific times based on her schedule. Originally, they tried to put her in a bathroom to pump, but she objected. So then they found a break room with running water and a refrigerator and created a makeshift \"room\" using tall filing cabinets. She is fine with this arrangement. Initially there were times where supervisors are upset with her because she can't cover other teacher's classes due to her pumping schedule. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but it stresses her out. Now there is one particular woman who isn't happy the my wife is pumping in this room. I guess because other people are in there. This woman started a text chain with everyone in the special education department (wife's department) except my wife. The purpose of this was this lady asking if anyone else had a problem with my wife pumping in that room. My wife found out about this when a friend of hers told her about the text chain because she didn't want to be talking about her behind her back. Now this lady has gone to the head of the SpEd department complaining that someone walked in on my wife pumping. This is a straight up lie because it is not possible to see my wife without her seeing you as well or without climbing on top of and across multiple filing cabinets. This morning this lady came in to the room when my wife was pumping and said \"I thought you weren't allowed to pump in here anymore.\" My wife informed her that none of the other areas provided to her has reasonable access to refrigeration or running water. One was literally an electrical closet on the other side of the building. Plus no one had told her anything even remotely close to that. My wife replied that it is not her (wife's) responsibility to find an adequate place to pump. It is the schools responsibility to provide an adequate space. The lady then told my wife that she would find something else by the end of the day. This lady's constant harping on this has really stressed out my wife. It is actually affecting her milk supply. She gets less than half the amount when pumping at work than when she pumps at home. I'm also very frustrated. At what point is this harassment, hostile work environment, or some other violation of state/federal law? What's the best way to handle this if things continue to deteriorate?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It appears she is being harassed. Here is the Virginia state law protecting her right: Enacted in 2015, Va. Code § 32.1-370 states in relevant part, “A mother may breastfeed in any place where the mother is lawfully present…” If you have a question or concern about this law or feel your rights have been violated please email vabreastfeeds@vdh.virginia.gov Also a school employee specific law can be found here: https://lis.virginia.gov/cgi-bin/legp604.exe?141+ful+HB720ER+pdf And to save you a click: “Be it enacted by the General Assembly of Virginia: 1. That the Code of Virginia is amended by adding a section numbered 22.1-79.5 as follows: § 22.1-79.5. Employee lactation support policy. Each local school board shall adopt a policy to set aside, in each school in the school division, a non-restroom location that is shielded from the public view to be designated as an area in which any mother who is employed by the local school board or enrolled as a student may take breaks of reasonable length during the school day to express milk to feed her child until the child reaches the age of one.” Your wife may also have additional rights if she is a member of a teachers union. She could also take this matter to HR or straight to the Board of Education. Edit: The first one, Va. Code § 32.1-370 covers breastfeeding on Commonwealth property so not applicable unless it’s a school owned or operated by the Commonwealth of Virginia. But the second one, § 22.1-79.5 would apply to all public (presumably) schools.", "role": "assistant" } ]