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my shitty life is my own faulti had a terrible childhood. i have ptsd and the usual depression/anxiety. i already have a disadvantage to life but i make it worse almost intentionally. i was using any drug i could get my hands on regularly when i was . i had sex for money to support my addiction and my spending. i was clean for a year or so, besides marijuana which i have a medical card for now. i'm now, and my ex just got out of prison and it all went out the window. it's not his fault but it's not good for me to be around him. i don't have any willpower. he still uses drugs heavy and now i am too. he didn't pressure me. i wanted it. i was miserable when i was sober. now i'm miserable and high all the time and panicking over how i'll get high again when i'm not. i hate it. i'm not myself anymore. i just got pulled over last night for speeding/reckless driving. i can't afford the fines myself and i can't ask for help from anyone. i don't deserve help. i might even get a month in jail and i really don't think i'll handle that well. i won't be able to afford car insurance when my rates go up so i won't be able to drive. which means i won't be able to get a job because i'm in the middle of nowhere. i need to save up to move out, i love my mother but we are toxic when we're around each other so much. i just wanted to be done with the legal trouble, at least. but for some reason i have to fuck everything up. i knew what i was risking and i didn't care. i don't know how to stop myself. i keep thinking i need to end my life before it gets worse, before it becomes unmanageable. well it just became unmanageable. | suicide |
Day of posting random "fun" facts everyday until I forget or get bored Ants cant die from falling. Have a nice day :) | non-suicide |
I'm going to catch covid and hide at a park until I dieI'm going to try to intentionally catch covid hide at a park in my city, and hopefully die. I have a preexisting respitory condition, asthma, so if I wait it out long enough Ill hopefully be good. I'm a piece of shit and I'm going to flush myself down the bow. Almost everyone in my life figures out I'm a: blackhole sucking the joy from every situation, I'm a complete fucking moron, and I have the moral constitution of an offending pedophile. My 'boyfriend,' if I could even call him that, has caught on. After a short period when we didnt talk, he's realized I'm a social anxious, cowardice, people pleaser who lies to myself and others so much you'd swear I was supporting a drug habit. Things have definitely gotten worse as I've lost my mind, but I've always been this I always will be. Despite my declining mental state I feel like I've reached a point of clarity, I know what I need to do. I hope there's a hell | suicide |
Dear Reddit: Im gay Soooo. Recently Ive been questioning my sexuality. Ive come to the conclusion that Im a homosexual. All of my friend group knows, but my parents dont. I will tell them eventually, but I dont think they need to know yet. Maybe theyll even find out on their own. Thank you for reading this | non-suicide |
Nothing interesting happened or anything so I'm just posting a photo of my great-greatgrandpa's majestic moustache  *Processing img wtmighc...* | non-suicide |
How I turned my Reddit addiction into something useful The internet has beaten me more often than I like to admit... Yesterday, I visited unproductive sites (Reddit, Facebook, Instagram etc) times! Fuck! Most of those times I wasn't consciously visiting those sites. It just happened.. That's why I made a useful chrome extension for myself that redirects me from distracting websites to useful and interesting websites! No more Reddit for me, but more Indiehackers! No more Instagram, but [Trends.co]( No more YouTube, but more Producthunt. You get the picture If that sounds something you want to try, you can add it to your chrome browser for free. Any suggestion would be more than welcome! [ | non-suicide |
There's a noose around my neck as I write this. I could die, but I'm so afraidI just needed to tell somebody what's happening. I'm too scared to tell somebody I really know | suicide |
Happy th anniversary of the Party Rock Anthem music video I cant get off to anything besides the music video for Party Rock Anthem anymore. Almost a year ago, in April of , my friends and I thought it would be funny to jack off to weird things. I picked LMFAOs Party Rock Anthem. What I didnt see coming was that it was actually the most potent orgasm I would ever have. So I decided to continue using it as masturbation material, because why not? Well, that was probably the worst mistake Ive ever made, as normal porn no longer attracts me. Ive tried to return to plain old porn but forcing myself to jack off to it, but it just no longer does it for me. Im just scared for my future. What if my future partners are confused by my inability to be turned on by anything? Do I tell them that I can only reach climax by watching the Party Rock Anthem music video? Im feeling so hurt and confused | non-suicide |
I jumped off a two story balcony while high on shrooms.It happened Monday night around . My friends tried to stop me. I was so out of it I punched one of them and jumped. Luckily I land feet first. I shouldve died. Now Im at my family home for two weeks in bed and three months without putting any weight on it, living in Ohio so that makes travel even better. I know I can get through this, but I just dont know where to start with communicating with the friends who were there. When I jumped none of them knew if I was alive when they ran downstairs to find me outside. I feel like I hurt them more then myself and I dont know what to do. | suicide |
College is a joke i swear, like this can NOT be real ok so to start my ENG teacher literally said were not going to have our thursday class for the semester, i want to sleep in that day and then to top it off during one of our lessons on persuasive papers he just starts drawing on screenshare a picture of hogwarts, a beach, a dragon, and a forest with ogres... (completely unrelated. no metaphors.) to all you guys in high school whos teachers are saying college professors will NOT tolerate this!! they are lying for the most part. turn your stuff in and the teacher wont care most of the time | non-suicide |
Turning on the th Thats pretty weird. Anyways, how is everything going for you guys? | non-suicide |
whats the point of living if I desperately wanna go into a profession requiring high iq and memory eventhough I lack bothI have always wanted to be a cardiovascularsurgeon and I am currently in high school preparing for my premed examination... I am from INDIA and . million people take the examination NEET...I earlier used to score pretty good in my coaching examinations but as the syllabus is increasing I have started forgetting alot and in the test having lot of syllabus my scores are terrible..I already knew that I had a low iq, terrible recalling ability, no talents at all but recently I gave a short term memory test in which i scored median being ..surgeons require a very good working memory, high iq and excellent recall..if i am finding it tough to remember this little info, whats gonna happen when i enter medical college...I am gonna have such a tough time which I cant even imagine...everyone around me seems to be so so much more intelligent than me and are capable of learning a particular info at times the speed I can...moreover I am sick of humanity, humans are terrible creatures and, the state it utterly deplorable..I never find peoeple who agree with me on stuff like politics(I am a centrist and india is filled with crazy extremists)..my opinions on religion(since I am an atheist) are pretty different...also the pollution in India is very pathetic and its becoming a gaschamber....climate change is gonna show disastrous repercussions in recent future so theres no use of studying if its gonna go in vain...HUMANITY WAS A MISTAKE and theres no purpose of life..also I AM A NIHILIST | suicide |
Its happening againI cant do this anymore, I cant handle the suffering, the panic attacks, the extreme loneliness, the hair loss, and headaches. I really just want to do it. I see no hope. Ive lost all the hope I have. | suicide |
I've come to the realization that nothing will stop my ever-growing urge to end my lifeI just......don't care anymore. Life isn't something I want, I don't care about my life, there's nothing I want with my one life that I've been given. I curse whoever granted me life in the first place, I wish that I never existed, it'd most likely be a net positive considering who I am. People try to console me and say that it will get better and that life is beautiful but they are only living behind a facade. I'm willing to deprive this earth of my future self, It wouldn't matter much if I'm being honest. Now this is the time where you tell me that I will hurt my family, and you're right. But the thing is, I couldn't care less, I won't see nor know anything that will happen to my family when I die, not that I'd care if I could. Familial love is fake and is not based off of anything other than the fact that you were born into this group against your will. So as there are no reasons for me to live, I am sitting in my closet with a rope, ready to leave this planet once and for all. I won't be found for at least - hours so I'm sure I will die. | suicide |
Jeez I am nervous about the election If Trump wins again I'm going to have to spend my adult life in a US that has just recovered from his mistakes. I can't take his shit anymore it's making me want to move to Canada. He's going to ruin the climate and drag out Covid recovery and become the worst president. Also I have essays due this week so yay. | non-suicide |
I hate this subreddit its all the same shit; virginity jokes, crush doing x posts, depression/anxiety wahhh feel bad for me posts, obvious karma whoring, and completely god awful memes. thats all this sub is, theres little to no actual discussion regarding being a normal teenager cause everyone here is socially inept. | non-suicide |
Bored and tired but cant sleeppp It doesnt help that Im fucking horny every time I stay up late. Anyone wanna dm? m | non-suicide |
Help meHey im a year old boy i lived in a city in the netherlands called lelystad it was an average to big city but when i was my parents moved to a village with people living in it so i went to elementary school and had years there it was idk sort of fun i had best friends but i wasnt theirs best friends so yeah that made me kinda sad but when i finished the last years elementary school i went to in dutch called middelbaren school and i got like the highest class called vwo+ gymnasium but there where guys who always piked me as the target so when i went to the toiled the did things on my laptop searching weird thing setting up music outloud they picked the things from me when i was on my phone doing stuff they kept tapping on my phone and they just know i was different because they where all farmers i am someone from the city they all where really childish but yeah i was alone so after that year i went a niveau down called havo i really tought i was in heaven but then the things started i made fights with people because some stupid things we made it good but still it wasnt the same after that we made an other fight we stil fixed it but there was a girl who i loved like really loved and i do still but she was a bit vague and i just wanted something she was my bestfriend at the moment she still is but whe where calling and a friend of her joined also a girl so whe had fun with the three of us we went on a boat and chilled alot of times and we just chilled and that sort of things and the other girl started liking me so the girl i liked had a best friend that also liked me so she didnt want to do anything because it was sad for her bestfriend all thinking about her not about what i tought but yeah i was used to not get tought off we are still planning on talking with the three of us to make things clear buy i am still so sad i just dont know thats the problem i dont know i stood there with a knife in my hand on mt neck to cut my throat but i couldnt do it i cut myself on my hand i fk up my knuckles by hitting a wall is just want thing to work out in my life once i will murder someone for seconds of happiness the only time when i dont feel sad is when i am with her Oh and i smoke and drink | suicide |
I'm done.Note: this might be a long rant, so I'm sorry in advance. I'm fed up with life, knowing that there are people out there who are worse off than me doesn't make my life feel any better. I have just been feeling nothing but numbness for the last few months, and even for Christmas. I spent it with my entire family and it was great spending time with them, but I see them all the time anyway, and I just wish it hadn't felt so underwhelming. I received a $ piece of camera gear, some cologne and articles of clothing (I have siblings). I don't even like clothes, I feel like I went all out for my family and got them the best things I could find and made it as personal as I could and they didn't even bother. I ran away from home about a year ago and the police ended up taking me home and I pretended I wasn't that bad for their sake, but I feel like life only goes down hill from here and I have started self-harming on a semi-regular basis. I just feel like a nobody. If I died right now people would instantly forget me. Maybe I should die. Maybe I should just stop being a burden to everyone who cares about me because all I ever do nowadays is ruin other people having fun by being in a shitty mood. | suicide |
Hello everyone. (first post to this subreddit) I don't really know what to say... I've been depressed for about a year now but... Just now has it gotten to the point ok keeping a knife on a table beside me, holding it in one hand as I feel the blade tickle my other, daydreaming about what I could do... If I only added more pressure... | suicide |
Why is it worth it?Life, that is. People say life is worth living. The only real thing that makes life worth living is my partner. I'm also fairly sure he wants out too and we are just keeping it together for each other. So really, why the fuck is it worth staying anymore? I'm tired of fighting just to survive. FUck this fight. I give up. I've lost. Edit: I just went to /r/reasontolive and that really just emphasised how pathetic the reasons are. A video game, a new song... That does not even put a dent on the reasons not to live. | suicide |
What's the easiest suicide method other than a gun?I've officially given up, I don't want to be here anymore, everyday I wake up wishing I hadn't and I just want to end it all. I want to kill myself but Im horrified of putting myself through an incredibly painful moment just to have it fail and have my life get even worse, I don't have access to a gun and can't get one so I want to know what the next best thing would be, I was planning I overdosing tonight but I heard that overdosing almost always fails and causes lots of pain after, so what would be the easiest and most painless suicide method other than a gun. Also before anyone tries to tell me that I shouldn't do it, why not? Everyone hates me and so do I, and I've already hurt myself alot so I'm in even more perpetual pain anyway, so please just let me end it. | suicide |
How much cocaine will kill meI have about grams saved up and I plan on taking it because I believe it might actually end my miserable life. I plan on drinking alongside it so that I can maximise my chances at getting the job done. | suicide |
Quick question What in the holy fuck is supposed to mean | non-suicide |
here is my thoughti want to open light mode on reddit | suicide |
Im a walking disappointment, no reason not to end itI disappoint everyone in my life. My parents dont want anything to do with me, Im too lazy to get ahold of my best friends and my other friends dont bother trying to get ahold of me, and I know my best friend is disappointed in how Im wasting my potential. I recently came across a reddit post my girlfriend made expressing how Im a disappointing boyfriend (she didnt intend for me to see it and she doesnt know I saw it) and she told me last night that I no longer satisfy her in bed. Nobody would miss me if I died | suicide |
Im sick of feeling so dumbI have just lost all motivation for anything, Im at work just trying not to cry. Im just going to be alone tonight like I always am which doesnt help. I just dont feel anything and Im so tired of it My life used to be so beautiful for an amount of time. I just give up, one of the two things that have been on my mind for months is just craving to die. But Im really scared to die, I just know I wont make it till | suicide |
Day of living back with my momAnd I want to kill myself again already. Great. | suicide |
did you know that UwU | non-suicide |
I think I want to commit suicide but I can'tI want to commit suicide but I don't have access to a method which is reliable enough for me to want to attempt and can be performed alone. | suicide |
Gonna kill myself after Christmas but before New YearsIm sorry for everything | suicide |
Oh God please help I was just chilling in my room when I suddenly needed to poop. Before I knew it I was coming out so i leaned over my trashcan and did my business. It came out like a rocket and now my room smells like Fish soaked in urine how can I get rid of this without my parent finding it? They have cameras and everything and are active throughout the house / Please send help | non-suicide |
Is it bad that both relationships I've been in he girls made the first move I love having love and affection but at the same time I have one of the worst mental makeups for it | non-suicide |
Hey guys! Just got dumped! What's new with you? Why does it hurt so much? It's painful. Why do I love people who hurt me? She wasn't over her ex. I asked her if she was over her ex or not and she said she was. I asked her if she was sure and she said yes. Why the fuck would she do that. Why does it hurt so much? | non-suicide |
I never understood this, everyone says male and we don't care so why do people get offended by the word "female"? genuine question, not tryna piss people off | non-suicide |
I have trash taste Just look at [my myanimelist]( I think you will agree | non-suicide |
I'm tired of living this is the only way.I just want peace. it's time to leave. | suicide |
wtf dad my guidance counselor called my dad bc i was failing a course and when he came home he didnt yell at me and instead just talked to me about it wtf ????? thought he was gonna walk in and beat the shit out of my computer again lol | non-suicide |
I'm going to say the N word and nobody can stop me Nintendo _____________________________________ | non-suicide |
my mom called me with my full name my mom called me with my full name what should i do? | non-suicide |
LostMy doctor won't prescribe me any medication because I've had bad reactions to SSRIs before. Everyone wants me to see a counselor or therapist but none of them have good hours and they are all expensive. I can't even go to the support group my doctor so helpfully recommended because it's a pregnancy loss group I would have to take my living daughter with at the time they meet, and I refuse to subject those women to that. I want the easy way out. | suicide |
I fucking deserve this arent IAll the people I opened up with told me that it is my fault that I got abused and bullied, I do think they got a point tho, otherwise I wont living in a shitty life for so many years, I deserve this, no other people to blame, not my abusers or bullies Its my fault that my family fall apart, its my fault for I suffering from violence at school, its my fault I didnt die, its my fault that I cut myself and thrown up everyday, I had enough | suicide |
Guess who failed?!This guy! | suicide |
Should I break up with my girlfriend? I used to like her a ton especially when we first started our relationship. But the thing is I just dont feel close to her anymore. She says she is busy all the time with work and school which I respect, I dont want her to stop everything to hang out with me. But at the same time arent you supposed to treat your boyfriend like a PRIORITY? Ive been struggling so hard not being able to see her but now I just feel lifeless. It seems like she doesnt care about me, she never texts, never hangs out at school unless I initiate. We have hung out outside of school twice in months! This is causing me more emotional pain then when I was just crushing on her. She just isnt the person I thought she was. What the hell do I say to her?? | non-suicide |
I feel dead In one of the classes I have this teacher and she doesnt let you do any late work because its not fair to anyone but are you kidding me? We dont even get two days to turn anything and we have more important class, I get threatened by my parents every day and can barely make sure I dont end up starving myself because of the stress. I CANT PRACTICE MUSIC WHEN IM HAVING BENCHMARK AND ESSAYS DUE IN THE SAME DAY. Thanks for coming to my TED talk | non-suicide |
Another night with no sleep Just great, for whatever reason I'm not tired at all and I'm actually more energetic than usual | non-suicide |
A girl in a few of my classes today was showing shoulder. So I sent her to hell. As well as the ones showing ankle and belly. | non-suicide |
Hah its that time of day Time to question my gender identity again | non-suicide |
Update to my chemistry class situation Original post: So my Chemistry teacher told me mid class that he talked with my counselor, and said it would be in my best interest to switch classes before my grades got any worse. I was required to take Physics before taking Chem, so that was honestly a massive F Up on their part lol. My counselor is going to start the process of switching me to another class. | non-suicide |
How many people who actually want to kill themselves have mental issues?I hear that -% of people who kill themselves have something mentally wrong with them. Is that true? | suicide |
Every living thing dies aloneWell, Here I am. I'm here looking for advice.. Since I'm posting under this category, and the title, it's clear that I'm depressed. I also have terrible anxiety and a drinking/ pill popping problem. I'll try to keep it quick and clean. I hate myself. I hate everything about myself, from my body, to my personality. I hate myself more everyday because I don't have to balls to just off myself. Instead everyday I wake up alone, and a little more empty inside. The only thing that has kept me going this long is knowing I will see the girl of my dreams smile at work. She is the sole purpose I get out of bed anymore. I've come to realize that I really just don't feel anything anymore. I wake up, go to my shitty retail job, and go home and drink myself to pass out. I don't sleep anymore, and I feel like I'm coming undone. This girl is the only thing that could change my mind about my upcoming life choice(s), and I've recently found out shes moving. Don't get me wrong, this isn't some soppy love story, and I'm not looking for some "Time will heal all" Answers. I'm here because I hate myself and want to die. (Insert Nirvana song) Call me selfish, Call me a bastard, call me what you will. My heart has felt sour twice before, but now I feel empty. An emptiness that can't be filled. I just NEED to know someone else is out there like me...I'm just scared of being alone. | suicide |
I'm ending it tonightA couple of my grades just got to the point that it is mathematically impossible for me to pass, I had my heart broken by my first real love, I'm not going to get into any colleges, along with having no marketable skills besides apathy, and all of my family and friend relationships are in shambles, while I'm spending the meager pay from my dead end job on shitty drugs that make everything worse. No one will give a shit when I'm gone. And, frankly, that's why I'm okay with doing it. Why should I continue on when there is nothing besides suffering to look forward to? | suicide |
I finally lost the last reason to continue living, I'm planning my suicide soon.I'm committing suicide. One might think it would be selfish of me, but I beg to differ. If anything, I'm completely selfless. My mom pretends to give a shit about me, truth is she's more interested in her financial stability than my health. I suffer from MDD, GAD, SAD, an eating disorder, and I show symptoms of PTSD. I'm also deaf and I require occasional check ups to make sure everything is a-OK. While I do have doctors, my mother always brushes me off when I ask her to make a follow-up appointment for me. My physical and mental health is getting worse every day and I'm a minor and have no control over making appointments for myself. My father is a registered sex offender, he was charged with sex abuse of a minor. He's really abusive and manipulative and will always end up making you feel like shit. I don't even think this needs explanation, it's pretty clear. My grandparents (on my mother's side) are not bad people, but they have some of the dumbest logic and are extremely religious and are against me as a transgender individual. I do have other family but they are either also extremely abusive and manipulative or I never even met them. I have no friends. I'm not over-exaggerating at all. All the friends I had took advantage of my kindness and ended up using me. I even had a friend that raped me over the coarse of several months. An ex boyfriend of mine even cheated on me with my rapist and continues to say I'm lying. Tonight I finally realized the last friend I had is a piece of shit. I thought he was my best friend, someone I could trust, and it hurts to know he wasn't. I no longer have a reason to keep fighting. I'm done. Clearly my purpose in life is to be treated like shit. Goodbye. | suicide |
Humiliated in ballet class I was lay down doing some stretches in my ballet class, when a girl approached me and got hold of my legs. She spread them apart and proceeded to stomp on my testicles. The other girls in my class heard me groaning and gathered round to watch. So now there was an audience watching her crush my nuts :/ | non-suicide |
It's that time of the year, I smoke now.Just relapsed on cigarettes after months of quitting. It's that time of the year again. Today's my mother's birthday. days from now on, on December , my brother who was committed suicide. I don't know what's going on anymore. Last months I've been feeling psychotic, paranoid. There's no one left with me. No one cares. I texted some friends. Some are busy, some... don't care it seems. It resonates so much with me, you can check my post history... I don't know what. I feel peace for last days. It feels good to finally be smoking again. I haven't done drugs since last winter. But it doesn't get better. Can I just get some words maybe? That it gets better. Or it doesn't ever. I'm not exactly sure I will kill myself soon but.. I don't know. Just felt like leaving some piece. My mother is abusive and I literally have no one and no hope left. All this stuff. Confused guy, just years old. But yeah, thanks for reading. | suicide |
So, like how is he allowed to do this? | non-suicide |
My sister disappoints me So I am ashamed to say I used to like tick tock. But then I got reddit and was enlightened. But my older sister still likes it and watches it all he time. I often find myself thinking of violent ways to destroy her phone and bring her to the true god. | non-suicide |
Why do i feel this way?!I had depression for years and recently started to treat it, but i feel like i just want to kill myself even if depression is gone, im exhausted of putting effort into life | suicide |
Suicide wont work. I want to be killedI dont have the strength to kill my self. I want to be fucking murdered. And I hope its quick | suicide |
is it normal to be really depressed unless youre talking to a specific person? is it normal to be really depressed unless youre talking to a specific person? | non-suicide |
Against a wallIve always tried to appear happy and well adjusted. In reality, I've been tormented by severe anxiety and depression since I was . Ive considered this numerous times over and talked myself out of it with the promise that if life gets worse I'll follow through. Shits gotten really bad. I'm being blamed with the death of one of my parents and feel hollow and miserable. Tonight I'm feeling particularly depressed and feel its the only option I have left. Ive done the math and know what it will take. | suicide |
Imagine if person from every age commented Imagine | non-suicide |
whats your opinion on my pfp? its great, isnt it? made on picrew btw its pretty cool | non-suicide |
Im not suicidal cause of my depression, I've never had any other reason of wanting to kill myself until today, and it's not major. I wanna stop it before it gets worse.Please don't read this if you are suicidal, Im not sure but this might make you feel worse so please don't. Earlier today I found out about rorochan_ which I don't know if anyone on here knows about them, but it they livestreamed their suicide. And since I found out about them I've been trying to find the original video since then, but I've only been able to find a short gif. For some reason a part of me is extremely worried about not finding the video and wants to recreate it so people can see a video of it since I can't find the original. I know I shouldn't do it and I wanna stop myself from doing it, I doubt I actually will and don't think I could recreate it cause of where I live but I really wanna make sure that I won't. | suicide |
The most stupid activity teachers do Do a calendar with timetables, bruh they are useless , timetables are stupid , instead of asking wash your teeth ,, shower , eat , , its way more convenient doing to do list , so you can say between , and , you have to wash your teeth shower and eat , because maybe some day you want to take long shower so that day youll take less to eat , or maybe one day you dont want to shower in the morning because is fucking cold , or things like I want a defined timetable dont spend an extra second in that just study in the time you mark , like if I say I want to draw he asks me to do in what time of the day I want to draw like bruh maybe I one day I get an idea at the morning or maybe at night Conclusion: fuck timetables , to do lists are better | non-suicide |
Life...or notI have been through some very rough times. The latest is that I have been made redundant and without a job I face bankruptcy and the loss of my home that I shared with my late husband for years. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, it seems that the universe/fate/god (if you believe in one, I don't) has it in for me. I have a (divorced) step-daughter and grandchildren, who love me. So far, that has kept me going but financially they would be better off if I died now, rather than living off my savings. My step-daughter relies on benefits and wouldn't have to if I died. They could either move into my house and repay their own mortgage or sell it and live in their own home more comfortably, having repaid the debts that are weighing on me so heavily. Honestly, I am so tired of trying to live a decent life. It seems that all of us 'little people' cannot get ahead, no matter how hard we work to do so. I am tired of being the Minion. I am tired of trying to do 'the right thing'. I am tired of trying to battle against the odds. I am tired of life. When do I get to resign? What more do I have to do? Can I die now? | suicide |
I'm high rn because I smoked bowls m Filler Filler Filler Filler Filler Filler Filler Filler Filler Filler Filler Filler Filler Filler Filler Filler Filler Filler | non-suicide |
Desperate and (getting my life back on track) Hi kind people, I recently had to leave school because i couldn't handle the load and things at home were just making everything worse. Our family sorely depended on my father for everything financially, but in these parts of Africa, kids are raised as investments and there's no mental health available for teenagers, so for a very long time I've been having depression, anxiety, panick attacks. At first i didn't know what was happening but after googling symptoms and seeing some professionals, i confirmed my assumption. I tried self care, thinking positively, and just generally trying to make each moment better than yesterday. My dad was recently released from work due to downsizing, and we've had to drastically change our lifestyle. As the first born, i have been blamed for everything that goes wrong in this house, it was no surprise i got blamed for my dad getting fired. And since then each day has been worse than before. I was unable to cope with school and failed some subjects, and im about extremely introverted person that it's hard for me to share anything about my life with anyone. I have been kicked out from home, all my dreams shattered, and idk what to do. During this covid pandemic, i have been creating graphic designs for some clients, i would go to the local cyber or just use my phone (which is too old and slow for the work im doing) All i'm asking now is for some kind souls to kindly assist me raising some money and getting a laptop (i found a HP elitebook for around $) I am an avid graphic designer, upcoming programmer who mainly works with his phone and its hard. I can't share my email here according to the rules, but if anyone is willing to help out just dm and I'll provide an email. TL:DR got kicked out, depends on phone as a source of generating income, kindly asking any kind souls to help a fellow redditor raise around $ | non-suicide |
I wish there was a way to make it look like an accident.I dont want anyone to feel guilty. But i feel like it's so hard to kill yourself without having that happen. Fuck... | suicide |
free bear award thingy st reply gets it | non-suicide |
I want to die,but i don't know whyI don't know, my fathers are ok,i have a very lovely boyfriend,some online friends,but this days i had been thinking about my death,just a tren accident,quick ah,i just need help but i can't a therapist o that thing,english isn't my first lenguage | suicide |
Dude please I literally only need more karma to get K karma | non-suicide |
i just just to talki dont know if anyone ever reads this but i hope so anyway. the thoughts are too much to handle fhese days for me... | suicide |
I want to rot awayJust turn into dust, theres nobody left to move the carcass. | suicide |
So I found something out If I keep my head up my eye bags aren't that visible You can still see them just it's not that visible | non-suicide |
Im afraid I will kill myself if my mom diesMy mom is my best friend and shes going through cancer right now. I spend every moment with her. Ive been dealing with depression for over years. In November I had a close call where I almost killed myself. I think about doing it still. If my mom dies I just dont think I will be able to hang on. I dont know what to do. | suicide |
Day without a gf One day more! | non-suicide |
The Anger is too MuchI am in high school. I just got out of school for the summer. However, I'm still dealing with shit that happened a year ago. I was sexually assaulted during a water polo practice by another player. Long story short, the coach called the police after five weeks of doing nothing after I came to him about it. I was humiliated in a way I cannot describe. This was all just to cover his ass, of course. When the season officially started after the summer practices during which this had happened, I was forced to stay on the junior varsity team, despite being easily good enough to be on varsity and being on the team the previous year. This was total retribution for me talking to him about what those assholes did to me. It was made a hostile environment for me and I was forced to quit the team. The ones who sexually assaulted me are still on the team. There was no punishment for them, only for me. I hate them so much. They need to get what they deserve, but my parents, despite claiming they would get a lawyer, have refused to do anything. I want to end it all, just so maybe that damn coach may see what his actions have lead to. I can destroy the guys who assaulted me too by telling everyone what they did through social media before doing it. They would be alienated, and would finally feel what I have felt for the past year. I have lost all semblance of confidence in myself due to this and I've been emotionally damaged beyond repair, but no one cares unless I die. | suicide |
Never able to please my parentsThis will be a mess but I cant do this anymore. Every time I attempt anything I fail. My family has a delusion that I'm smart. Then they call me a monster, a bitch, lazy, an asshole, a dumbass, a McDonald's employee, stupid, etc, when I inevitably fail. They call me an asshole for not thinking that material objects equals love. They call me a bitch for not wanting to talk (be insulted and belittled) to them. They'll hit me and when I defend myself I'm told I started attacking them. They get mad for me not being this fantasy in their head. They get angry when told I don't wanna go to college, end up in debt and have a useless degree and work at some boring job. I used to love, I mean love love science. Figuring out how and why the universe worked. Now I can barely stand it. We can't afford college, but I still have to go. The only way is to win a scholarship. But I can't. There others who actually want and deserve thise scolarships and college. There are those who can change the world. But I'm not one of those people. Why is that so hard to accept? Everything I do is wrong. My passions are wrong. My height is wrong. My dreams are wrong. Me friends are wrong. My aspirations are wrong. My ideas are wrong. My art style is wrong. My mental capacity is wrong. My opinions are wrong. Fuck even the way I play Minecraft is wrong. If everything is wrong why can't I die? I've tried and failed before. Everything I do fails. God I just want an end already. | suicide |
how everybody doing bored. What is everyone's new year wishes | non-suicide |
ever put your shlong in an ant hole? don't | non-suicide |
Is it weird to fantasize about your own death everydayI've been haunted by the feeling that I'm only wasting my life and contribute nothing good for society. maybe i think too much and i tend to overanalyze things but its just one thing that i cant help. im so tired of disappointing people and getting myself disappointed. my only escape is fantasizing my own death frequently each day, imagining how great it must be if i could just suddenly vanish and leave this world in an instant because here, it never gets better. | suicide |
i have never felt so suicidalits so hard to control myself. i cant help but keep wanting to die. i have never felt pretty in my life. i feel like my boyfriend is losing feelings and interest in me. i dont feel good enough for anyone. im on medication but its not helping, its just aggravating my feelings. | suicide |
It's so close to March th. The day everything became bad. It's closing in on the year mark since a emergency was declared in the US, closing schools, movie theaters, malls, and everything. I don't Want this anymore. I haven't been in school for nearly a year and I feel horrible. It's all just zoom classes. | non-suicide |
[Discussion]what time does ur school starts? Not online school. Mine starts at am | non-suicide |
been thinking abt it latelyIve always been like. incredibly susceptible to suicidal thoughts and behaviors since like age (no one ever did anything abt it bcus it was always read as attention seeking behaviors and my parents refused to buy into it) and now Im nearing years with the hell that is major depressive disorder and its. not getting better. at all. I am absolutely miserable beyond words even if my medications make me feel slightly better on a base level. Im short as fuck (not even and physically cannot grow anymore because apparently my dad didnt love me enough to give me good genes lmao), wet koala levels of ugly, horrendously overweight with a metabolism that makes it genuinely impossible to lose weight, and my health is getting worse and worse every day because my dumb ass doctors cant be bothered to figure out whats wrong with me beyond well you outwardly look fine so just take some ibuprofen, eat your veggies, and exercise (if they even looked @ my medical records theyd know I cant even have ibuprofen but whatever ) I really could keep going on and on about whats got me so down. but the point is I genuinely do not think I should be here anymore. at all. none of that buhbuhbuh life gets better!! bullshit because no, no it doesnt, not when youre like this. this body feels broken and malformed already and I supposedly havent even begun living yet, whatever that means. and to top it all off Im apparently autistic as well according to my mother, she just never bothered getting a formal diagnosis on me when my THREE YEAR OLD SELF saw a counselor since she didnt want me to have an excuse for not doing as well as my neurotypical classmates. yeah. I really wish I was making that shit up. so all in all Im basically a prototype of a functional adult that failed before it could ever really begin. Ive been suicidal for so long I genuinely cant imagine going to college outside of idle fantasy and living past is a complete fuckin nope. not sure when or how, but one day, its gonna happen. I just know it. and its all I really know I can look forward to these days. its sad and over dramatic but like, whatever, you know. what else can you really do about it. | suicide |
The scenarios just keep running through my head...Again and again... When I close my eyes I imagine myself finally ending it all. What would happen? What would it feel like? What would it sound and look like? I just feel sad. I dont know how to explain. Theres no one to talk to because theyll just tell me Im being stupid. Or theyd get angry. At work theyre like haha, yeah there was a girl who was very emo. Thats why she left. Youre not like that right? What else could I do but said Yup, Im not like that. They wouldnt understand. Even people I feel are close to me dont understand. I wouldnt be able to explain. Even if they did, there wouldnt be a way to make things better. I wish I dared to kill myself. (Maybe I should put it on my task list.)But I dont. And so Ive just got to sit here and feel every part of my hurt and ache because I feel so sad. So... sad.... I cant even explain why.... | suicide |
Kids in my school laughed at me for wearing a mask Why. The only question coming to my mind. Some of the thots complained the masks were claustrophobic and the chavs laughed at me and my friends for wearing them. I prepared for this and expected it fully but at the same time it's hard to prevent my braincells from eroding at an exponential rate. | non-suicide |
I'll start writing my farewell letters.Hi everyone, I just wanted to tell to someone that I'll start to write my farewell letters, I think there is no point in trying It anymore, I'm really tired of my Life. The last months had been a torture, I can't express any kind of emotion even when I feel them because of a mental disorder, that make people think I'm a weirdo so they just ignore me when I practically beg for someone to help me. I'm , currently at college, I'm choosing wether I give Life a last chance or kill myself, I have considered join the army too, maybe there someone could do the job for me. If I choose to die, I think I'll just go to the sea with a bag full of rocks and I'll drown where no one can see me, that way no one will find my body. I don't want my family to expend a single cent on my funeral, I'm not worth anything. | suicide |
I wish I cared as much about my life as others do.I'm not happy. At least, not most of the time. I flirt with the idea of death, it would be so easy. I've managed to convince myself there is an afterlife, which makes it so much more tempting to kick the chair.  Two things weighing on my conscious though; My narcissistic family, and my dog. My family...that's a story for another time. It would be so much easier if i were like them though, blind to everything. Ignorance really is bliss. Anyway, my dog. Shes absolutely amazing and i tell myself i wont end it until she passes. But i just adopted her a year or so ago, so shes still got at least years. Maybe my mindset will change by then, maybe not. Either way, im at peace with it. Life is a journey, maybe the next one will be better.  To anybody who reads this, I wish you the best, truly. Life shouldn't be lived the way we live it. | suicide |
UnfairWhy does life have to be so unfair? Who chose for others to be so lucky and for me to be so unlucky and depressed as fuck all the time? Who chose that others can have a healthy relationship with their parents and I want my whole family to die? Why does life have to be this way... | suicide |
Does this ruin your childhood? | non-suicide |
My dog is a Karen help !!! Idk what to do guyzzzz | non-suicide |
I feel like I am fighting a loosing battle with suicideI(M) have been suicidal for several years now. My wife cheated on me when we were engaged. In the fog of the betrayal I married her. To my knowledge she has not cheated sense we have been married. I have trouble forgiving her for it. The problem is she promised to make things up to me but puts forth no effort. Shortly after it came out I was hospitalized after an attempt to take my own life. I have been hospitalized times in years for attempted suicide. I am now fighting off more thoughts of self harm and suicide. Is it bad to say my biggest regret in life is that I didn't kill myself while she was with him? I am starting to think it is only a matter of time. | suicide |
Well, my downstairs neighbor just caused a fire. :( The downstairs neighbor left something on the stove then went out, locked all doors. Our other neighbors who are also his friend decided it was a good idea to break a window to get in, but we called and kept everyone out. To be fair, it was inevitable that they would break something as there was no way to get inside. It was a big ordeal and like firetrucks came with people, took a little bit but it was under control. They used a super loud and powerful fan to blow out the smoke and did the same for us upstairs. My cat got super stress out, she ran outside, then back in when the flashing lights and sirens came but she's doing good now. All that remains now is the smell of burnt food, yuck. | non-suicide |
I need a song (please)I'm in a really dark place right now and looking for songs to either express what I'm feeling or make me feel better. I would really appreciate any suggestions :) | suicide |
What am I in right now? Champagne without cham. What are you reading this? Youre a Champagne without pagne. Something im not. | non-suicide |
Desr God, My life is becoming one of those agressively gay movie characters. WHY! WHY MUST I HAVE A SEX CRISIS DURING NNN OUR JUST ONE AT ALL!!! I JUST WANTED TO BE SCOTT PILGRIM! as in I just wanted to play my bass and be a straight twink not a gay one :( I just don't fucking know anymore. | non-suicide |
Self-Harm/cutting helpi have a serious cutting problem and member of my family (not a very close family) completely ignore me, what should i do? | suicide |
Merry christmas r/teenagers! Hope you have fun and get lots of presents and get to spend time with People dearest to you | non-suicide |