In 2013, I was visiting with SaotomeSensei at his Aiki Ranch in Sarasota over lunch. We took our conversation intoa stroll through the acres of beautifully landscaped property surrounding theAiki Shrine and the home he shares with Patty Saotome Sensei. As wewalked, he pointed out how his garden has changed since they bought theundeveloped property, the different varieties of plants they were cultivating,which plants and environments attracted which animals, and which were hisfavorite spots. We have nine varieties of bamboo!Eventually, the conversation turnedtoward some philosophical and training questions that I was struggling with,and he provided some answers that were surprising and profound, particularly asthey showed how Sensei linked the applied philosophies and principles of Aikidoto all aspects of life.I asked, Sensei, you oftenuse me, Don (Ellingsworth, my peer and co-founder of my Dojo), and Rick(Rick Hotton, an internationally-known Shotokan Karate teacher and student ofSaotome Sensei) as your ukes (attackers). Its clear that during instruction, you prefer really strong, clear,martial attacks from your students.He nodded yes, with a bit of an ofcourse expression on his face.I continued, Sensei, what is goingon inside you when you are being attacked? Does your spirit, heart rateor breathing change at all at the moment of powerful attack?To respond, he gestured around theserene slice of nature that was his home: Like walking through my beautifulgarden my breathing not change, my heartbeat not change.We continued walking for a fewmoments while I digested this. I could understand that a Shihan anarchetype instructor and Aikido genius like himself could maintain this senseof meditative serenity while being attacked by large and fierce opponents;however, I had felt it was part of my study to learn to attack my teachers morefiercely and martially each time I stood before them, and that this ran inopposition to internal training.I then asked, Sensei, what aboutyour attackers then? When they are attacking to destroy you, what shouldtheir spirit, their heart rate, their breathing be like?He again responded, like walkingthrough garden breathing not change, heartbeat not change! Smiling, hecontinued of course, young people have high spirits, great energy, exuberance,of course its natural that their spirit and heart change when they attack andtrain. But later, as we follow Aikido, we must learn not to get excitedby the conflict.When attacked,your breathing should not change as if you are walking alone through abeautiful garden.Guy, you already very powerful. Most Aikidoka already powerful enough, but still try to be more and morepowerful. But muscle power stops ki (energy), stops perception. Senseivery carefully articulates this word, per-cep-tion! You imagine doctorcrushing your wrist and listening your pulse? While saying this, Sensei hadpicked up a branch, and mimes clenching it in a death grip, his facial and neckmuscles straining. Ridiculous!This is paradox, intensity whilecalm, he said. But it is important paradox at the heart of ourtraining. Our desire, our want, our fear and struggle, this stops ourbreath, it stops our ki, it stops our perceptions. When we attack, we gooutside ourself with our want to change others. When we defend against anattack which might hurt us, we go outside ourself with our want to changeothers. But