Authentic ExpressionGaining Common Understanding You hear their words, but are you buying this? Our conversations are most genuine when we begin with well considered thoughts, acknowledge our feelings, are clear and honest about what we want to say and we treat our listeners as respected peers. These are the six essential elements of authentic expression.DefinitionsHonesty. Straight talk. Making clear thinking visible. Earning trust. Common understanding. Candor. Congruence of intent, thought, feeling, and expression. Related TermsCandor, connecting, directness, forthrightness, frankness, genuineness, honesty, impartiality, openness, outspokenness, probity, sincerity, straightforwardness, transparency, truthfulness, uprightness, veracity, true talk, whole words, and straight talk, all refer to important aspects of authentic expression.Attributes:Authentic expression requires attention to the six elements of: Peer Relationships, Respect, Thinking, Feeling, Clarity, and Veracity. Communications with all of these elements help to increase trust in relationships. Each of these elements are described below in detail:PeerEqual PowerA symmetrical relationship. When power is balanced between the communicating parties they treat each other as equals and facts, thoughts, opinions, and information can emerge and be considered and examined undistorted by the deference, emphasis, censorship, obedience, and often resentment or rebellion that characterize power differences. The information can be considered on its own merits without anyone being unduly influenced by the stature or reputation of the speaker or intimidated by any threat of harm or repercussions. Information is complete and representative rather than selective, and inquiry is free flowing rather than suppressed or inhibited. Questions are welcome and fully explored and responded to. Dialogue is the only form of communication where the participants act as authentic peers working together toward a shared understanding. It is distinct from the power based forms of communications such as discussion, debate, distraction, dismissal, delegation, disingenuous, diatribe, and dogma. Censorship is also based on power rather than peer relationships. Focus on the facts, not the power stance.Peer communication can require patience, especially when there is a substantial difference in the background or experiences of the participants. Imagine a conversation between an opera singer and a physicist. If they are discussing a complex opera topic, the opera singer will have to patiently fill gaps in the physicist's understanding of the topic to be able to communicate accurately. This can be difficult to accomplish without seeming to be condescending, stating the obvious, or overlooking pertinent missing background. However don't confuse differences in experience or background for ignorance, stupidity, stubbornness, or status differences. RespectValuing HumanityDon't be mean. Demonstrate authentic positive attention as you listen, treat others as fellow human beings, and demonstrate your appreciation. Value the intelligence of the listeners. Refrain from any form of unkind remarks including: insult, revenge, ad hominem attacks, barbs, cruel or mean-spirited remarks, sarcasm, unkind jokes, slurs, digs, distortions, put downs, condescension, non-verbal disparagements, attacks, and innuendo. Interrupt the speaker only when it is essential to improve your understanding and advance the conversation. Refrain from nagging, shouting, condescension, and other annoying behavior. Listen carefully to fully understand their point of view. Ask genuine questions to increase your understanding. Address areas of doubt and skepticism. Work to move yourself toward what they