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with himself for feeling thusly, andthat only serves to deepen his resentment.Hewants to hate Riodan but finds that he cant?Worse.He feels himself forced to love against his very will.Andso his anger is further stoked. Lassen blew his breath out. Tobe so torn... How terrible for him. He frowned and looked atRohyr. What didRiodan do? Or are you forbidden to talk about it?Rohyrhesitated. If theres anyone to whom Dylen confides his deepestsecrets other than myself, I think its you, he slowly said.But this strikes at his pride as much as it wounds his heart, andhe is loathe to expose what he deems a weakness. You see, hesashamed of his failure to realize that Riodan probably couldnthave acted otherwise and that if hed had his wits about him at thetime, he wouldnt have been so surprised by Riodans duplicity.Or as disillusioned. And so he keeps the hurt to himself and holdsthe one person who has the greatest chance of healing it at bay.Ironically that person inflicted the hurt in the first place.Rohyr exhaled in frustration. Its like a festering sore fromwhich he can find no relief. And Riodan is faring no better. Eachtime Dylen refuses his overtures, he shrivels up a little moreinside. If Dylens anger hardens his heart, Riodans guiltcorrodes his soul.Lassenstared at him. Tell me what you can, he finally said. Youneednt go into details if you dont wish to betray Dylensconfidence but tell me the bare bones at least. I want to help them.Veres knows they need some and soonest.Helistened carefully to Rohyrs spare account of his brothershistory with the young diplomat. When Rohyr was done, Lassen wasrendered quite speechless.Iknew something had gone wrong between them, but nothing sodevastating, he said at length. Saints! I cant imagineRiodan doing something as reprehensible as that. And then for Dylento blame himself for not anticipating so great a change in Riodan...He laughed mirthlessly. You really arebrothers. Only the two of you would hold yourselves responsible forwhat is beyond anyones ability to control!Rohyrlooked away in some embarrassment. Lassen guessed he was rememberingthat terrible day when hed blamed himself for not foreseeing theunforeseeable. It had nigh cost Lassen his life and all butguaranteed that the rest of Rohyrs would be spent in misery.Lassen cupped his face and kissed him.Dont,Roh, he gently chided. Dwelling on what might have been isfruitless. We won that fight and reaped the spoils of it. And nowthat we have secured our happiness, we can ensure the same forothers.Rohyrsmiled faintly. Ensure? Are we deities to grant wishes and answerprayers? Nay, but you have the power to set circumstances inmotion that might bring themtogetheronce more. If not as lovers, then at least as friends. You haveso much confidence in me.Ihave perfect reason to. Why thank you, ariad.Lassenplaced his clasped hands on Rohyrs chest and rested his chin onthem. Helookedhopefully at his spouse. Rohyr laughed and shook his head.Whydo I feel that I must come up with a plan right now or lose your highesteem of my abilities? he rhetorically asked.Lassenhuffed a chuckle. But you do have something in mind, dont you?Else you wouldnt have
finally spoke, his voice was low andrough.Nay,I dont hate him, he admitted. But it smites my very soul tobe in the same room with him. He blinked his eyes as if the brightsunlight dazzled him. Bad enough to meet him now and then andperforce act civil to keep gossip at bay. But to work closely andkeep company with him for most of a day for Veres knows how long...His voice trailed away to a pained murmur.Rohyrrose and went to him. He put a protective arm around Dylensshoulders and pulled him close.Doyou love him? he softly asked.Love?Dylen shook his head. I no longer know what I feel. But I do knowI cant trust him.Cant?Or dont wish to? Does it matter?Ifit affects you so much then, yes, it does. Rohyr gently made Dylenface him. Hes suffering, too.Dylengrimaced. I know.Andhe repents of his sin against you. Even that benighted intended ofhis knows it, and thats saying a lot considering what an obtusewantwit Guyon Barath can be. That elicited a fleeting smile fromDylen. Rohyr forged on. Can you not give him a chance to makeamends for what he did? Hes humbled himself before you more timesthan I can count. Doesnt that move you?Andhow hard can it be to humble ones self before a kings brother?Bitterness shadowed Dylens eyes once more. Were I still ahetharwith antecedents of no particular importance, think you he would tryto win my regard anew?DyItwas because I was nobody that he refused me his help! Dylen pulledaway,anguishlimning his words. Deitys blood, Roh, he denied even ourfriendship! Made me out to be a one-night tumble and a liar forclaiming to be more than that! Tell me, why should I trust him now?And why are you so bent on pushing us together when you know howdeeply he hurt me?Rohyrpulled Dylen into his arms, holding him tightly and saying, Imsorry, Dy, Im sorry. I didnt intend to cause you more pain. Ihope you know that.Fightingfor calm, Dylen tried to relax in his brothers soothing embrace.Tell me why, he whispered.Rohyrtook a deep breath. Because you still care for him though youfight it, he softly said. If you would only admit yourfeelingsAndgive him the chance to break my heart anew? Dylen bleakly said.Nay,to relieve you of the strain of denying what it still yearns for,Rohyr asserted. It will calm the turmoil in your soul. Believe me,its far more difficult to keep stoking ones anger than it is toforgive and move on.Ah,so thats how you manage to keep sane with Uncle Imcael, Dylenmurmured with a watery smile.Rohyrsmiled back, heartened by the stab at humor. Now you know mysecret. He reached up and cupped Dylens face in his hands.Riodan despairs of ever regaining your love, but I see how much hehopes for your forgiveness. Surely you have it in you to grant himthat at the very least. And perhaps restore something of what youonce shared with him. Friendship, if not love.Dylenshuddered ever so slightly. You dont say it but verily youwould have me try for more, he said, his voice catching.Nay,I would have you take one step forward, no more,
with a kerchief.What in Aisen was Riodan saying to the Deir to make him souncomfortable?Herecalled the bit of gossip he had come across the night before afterhe and Riodan had parted for the evening. It had come to his ears byway of the loosened tongue of his drinking partner, one of the palaceofficials. Perhaps he should communicate it to Riodan now while hehad the Ministers full attention. After all, what good was all histraining under Rohyr and Tenryon if he did not put it to practicaluse? He focused on Riodan and, taking a deep breath, reached out andconnected with him, mind to mind.** * *Askhim how he did at the gaming tables last night.Riodandid not so much as bat an eyelash at the unbidden message. He onlynodded his head slightly to let Dylen know he had heard. He looked athis companion, Thael Dimas, Asmaras Minister of Trade.Iveheard quite a lot about the gaming halls of Shenze, he casuallysaid. Is it true the stakes are higher here than in most othercities?Dimasglanced at him, obviously startled by the sudden change in topic.Yes, its true, he admitted. You can win a lifelongfortune with one roll of the dice in our halls.Orlose everything but the shirt on ones back I imagine. Well,that is a risk of gaming, Dimas said with a shrug.Riodanlooked him straight in the eye. And how did youdo last night, Minister? Did you win a fortune or lose one?TheDeir started. He grew pale. A little of each, he grudginglyadmitted.Thenit must be very reassuring that you have ample resources to pay offany debts you incur, Riodan murmured.Dimasgrew red-faced all over again. I assure you there have never beendefalcations at my Ministry!Riodansoftly chuckled. Ah, I never implied that. What I meant was thatyou must have friends in high places who are generous enough to lendyou what is needed.TheMinister seemed taken aback. Ithat is, I have been fortunate,yes, he stammered slightly. But I, er, pride myself in payingback all I owe.Inkind as well as coin, I suppose, Riodan said.Onocca Dimas stopped mid word, his eyes widening. Riodan clearlysaw fear in them. What-what are you suggesting, Your Excellency?Nothingat all, Riodan replied with wide-eyed innocence. A fairexchange does not always involve money after all. Now, about thosetrade contractsmay I expect progress on them very soon? Within theweek perhaps?Iyes,yes, I will work on them at once, Dimas nervously assured him.That is, they are being, ah, processed even as we speak.Thatis good to hear.Yes.Dimas kerchief was out again, and he wiped his face as before.Except nowhishands visibly trembled. If you will excuse me, Ambassador, I havean appointment to keep, he mumbled.Oh,with Lord Malkon perhaps? Riodan was gratified to see the otherDeir turn deathly white. There were times a calculated guess could beas effective as an investigation of the facts. Why, Minister, areyou unwell? he solicitously asked. Perhaps you should get somerest.Dimaswas by now sweating profusely. Yes, I-I think I must, hestuttered. Good-good day, Your Excellency.Goodday, Minister. Expect me at your office this afternoon. What?Oh, but IYes, of course, Dimas finished incoherently.Hehurried away as if a pack of hunting hounds was
livelihood in Varthe, and if one came down to the lakeright after daybreak, one could buy directly from the fisherfolk.Interestingly, not all the fish for sale were caught. The hardier,more prolific species were cultivated in fish pens that dotted thedeeper portions of the lakeshore.Hissmile widened when his companion proceeded to haggle with thefishmonger then charmed the latter into cleaning his purchases aswell. Before long, he came back with a basketful of assorted fish allready for the pot or spit as the case may be.Areyou planning to invite all the guests at the inn to lunch? Riodanmildly inquired.Dylenshook his head. Nay, only two will be cooked for our meal. I shallask the kitchen staff to cure or smoke the rest and send them to Addaand Tarqin.Theyllbe greatly pleased. But will these keep? The kitchen staff saidthey would.Theywalked up the stone path to the inn where they were billeted. It wasa small and charming establishment that overlooked the lake on oneside and offered a breathtaking view on the other of the valley andmountains behind.*Afterleaving the fish in the capable hands of the head cook, Dylen wentfor a quick wash in the common bathing room on the ground floor ofthe premises. It was the one feature of the inn he particularlydisliked, having become accustomed to the more advanced plumbingsystems of the big cities where, if one was willing to spend for it,one could install modern facilities in ones home complete with hotand cold running water and indoor commodes.Dylenfirst came across the luxury when he started working at the Seralye.Having experienced the comforts and convenience of these modernbaths, he had insisted on having one at home as soon as he and hisfather had earned enough to afford it.Hewas quite spoiled for rougher living, Dylen ruefully conceded. Oh, hecould get by with the most rudimentary of accommodations, but he hadto admit, it would take much effort on his part to bear with them andthat would considerably lessen his enjoyment of such a place.Notso Riodan,he mused. His former lover had borne his share of more primitivelivingconditions in the course of his travels abroad during the yearsbefore he was appointed a full-fledged ambassador. Strange how theyhad started their acquaintance with Dylen the more travelled and lesssheltered of the two.Riodanhad long left his naivete behind. He was not as open as he used tobe and indeed was inclined to reticence where once he had been quitetalkative and cheerfully so. Of course, such changes came withmaturity and the tempering force of experience. Dylen tried not tothink about the other possible reason for Riodans less than sunnyoutlook these daysespecially when a faint sense of guilt nagged athim.Heangrily shoved the thought aside, indignant that he should feelguilty about anything. But when he joined Riodan on the veranda atthe back of the inn, he found it difficult to sustain his irritation.Riodansface lit up with pleasure as soon as Dylen appeared. It always did.And fast on its heels came a diffidence that was uncharacteristic ofa Deir who had a reputation for speaking and acting with confidenceeven in the presence of powerful foreign rulers.Whenhe was with
all good sense and... A sad smilecurved his lips. Im not sure I have it in me to risk it again.Riodancould only mutely gaze at him. Dylens smile faded.Yoursire was right though, he said. You were better off leavingme. Riodans brow furrowed. He asked, What did he say?Dylenseyes glazed over a bit in recollection. That if I loved you, Idlet you go, he tonelessly said. Your future was at stake, and ahetharcouldnt have given you much of one.Ananguished groan escaped Riodan. He grabbed Dylen by the arms and gavehim a little shake. He was wrong, Dy, he hoarsely said. Whenhe took me away from you, I lost the most beautifulnay, the oneperfect thing I could ever hope to know in my whole life. I lost yourlove.Yetwhen we met again, it was plain you were unhappy I had sought youout, Dylen snapped. Deitys blood, none of my patrons everdemeaned me the way you did that night, Rio! He jerked back,compelling Riodan to let go. I have reproached myself all theseyears for being such a fool to believe that you loved me. And an evengreater fool for returning what was so obviously false.Itwasnt false! Riodan protested.Thenwhy, Rio? Dylen harshly asked. Why did you pretend that I wasno more than a mere whore youd bought to pass the night?Itwas not Dylens anger or contempt that nearly broke Riodansresolve. Rather it was the grief and disillusionment in Dylensearth green eyes that almost wrenched Riodans courage from him.But Dylen had lived with the torment of his betrayal for far toolong. Riodan owed him the truth at the very least. Even if the truthdestroyed all chances of rapprochement between them.Riodandrew a shaky breath. It is as you accused me, he softlyexplained. Public knowledge of our affair would have seriouslycompromised my reputation in some circles. You know full well Abais not alone in his disapproval of liaisons between well-born Deiraand members of your fraternity.Ihad no intention of revealing our affair, Dylen bitterly retorted.I held no hope for anything more between us save our friendshipwhich youswore to uphold evermore. And I dared to trust you, Rio. I believedyou. And you betrayed that trust without a second thought.Riodanswallowed hard. Out of fear, he admitted, shame roughening hisvoice. I had learned to be as ambitious as Aba.Guyon is over proud. He would have broken our betrothal forthwith hadhe learned the truth.Dylenabruptly turned his gaze away. You esteem him so greatly, hemuttered, unable to keep his hurt from limning his voice. Isuppose you love him as much.Guilt-strickenat Dylens obvious pain, Riodan placed a hand on his back in anawkward attempt to soothe him. Dylen stiffened but did not move away.Ihave loved only one Deir with all my heart, and he isnt Guyon,Riodan whispered. When Dylen glanced at him skeptically, he sadlysmiled. I did place much importance on my familys connection tothe Baraths. You probably dont know, let alone care, but theBarath baronetcy goes back many generations. And a serlsson is considered a very good catch amongst the gentry. More to thepoint, it was due to Guyons grandparents that my sire came to theArdan
Jorens attention when he was fresh out of university.Isthat why he tried to betroth you to Guyons uncle? To pay a debt ofgratitude? You might say that.Soyou declined the older but accepted the younger. Dylens voicedripped with scorn. He is more to your taste I take it.Riodanshook his head. Guyon is not cruel like his uncle. When we came tobe friends, I found it easy to get along with him. And Im notproud to admit it but I chose to ignore his less admirable traits forthe sake of keeping the peace. He bit his lip then murmured, Iheld some affection for Guyon, but I never loved him as I love you.Dylennarrowed his eyes. Why do you speak of him in the past tense?Becausemy regard for him vanished when he belittled you, Riodan admitted.Ive realized that he isnt worth the cost of losing you. Andneither is rank nor reputation. What good is acclaim if the price forit is loneliness and a loveless union?Youwere once more than willing to pay that price, Dylen reminded him.Riodan pulled his hand away as if scorched. And you would have mepay it. Hesighed.But, after all, what more fitting punishment could you mete one ascontemptible as I?Dylengrimaced. That is not he began to say.ButRiodan cut in. Ive troubled you enough. I wont do so again.You have my word, Your Grace.Heturned to go, shoulders drooping, his head bowed. But Dylen caughthim by the elbow and drew him back. Riodans eyes widened insurprise.Dylenreleased his arm and looked away, his cheeks coloring. Riodansworry gave way to wonder.Dy?he murmured.Imsorry, Rio, Dylen unexpectedly said. He met Riodans gaze. Thatwas uncalled for. You took the risk and humbled yourself before me.And I would never... He took a deep breath. I couldnt takethe burden of such a marriage upon myself. How could I wish it onanyone else? Least of all you.GivingRiodan no time to ponder his words, he hurried on. And contrary towhat I have led you to believe, I dont seek to avenge myself onyou. Indeed, I weary of our rift. He reached out a conciliatoryhand. I would put the past behind us. I would that we called eachother friend again.Riodanstared at him in speechless amazement for several moments. Then afaint smile curved his mouth. He eagerly grasped Dylens hand andthe possible reconciliation it signified.Yes!he said, his voice light with hope. Yes, I would like that verymuch.ChapterNineteenGambitDylenstudied Riodan curiously as the diplomat sat down to breakfast thefirst morning after their return from Varthe. He seemed morelight-hearted than was his wont. From the moment he entered thedining hall, he exchanged unusually cheerful greetings with everyonehe encountered, even reducing a newly bound aide to blushes with abawdy quip. A quick look around told Dylen he was not the only one tonotice.Furtiveglances in their direction there were aplenty for Riodan had not beenseen to smile so openly or indulge in mischievous remarks since hisarrival in Shenze. For that matter, his reputation in diplomaticcircles was that of a witty, tactful Deir who seldom, if ever, letothers see any side of him but the one carefully crafted for duty.The one
exception to the rule, Dylen knew, was when a situation hadto do with him, something he had heard a few observant Deira commenton before now. But obviously most assumed it was a matter of twopersonalities not quite getting along and therefore even fewerappeared to suspect there was more to their oft fractious encountersthan that.Riodanblithely piled his plate with glazed gammon and steamed spicysausages, poached egg topped with a delicately seasoned sauce, richlybuttered toast, sweet nut rolls and assorted South Vihandran fruitsuch as flavorsome golden manga, fleshy finger-shaped sunfruit, and averdant variety of melon. Dylens eyes widened at the rathergargantuan meal. Whence Riodans hearty appetite this morning?Hecontinued to watch the ambassador over his cup of kahvi.He had started breakfast much earlier and could now observe hiscompanion at his leisure. Halfway through his meal, Riodan finallynoticed his intent regard. He glanced up, smiling inquiringly arounda mouthful of sausage.Dylenput his cup down and gestured to Riodans plate. I thought onlyadolescents and breeding Deira ate so much.Riodanglanced down at his food and let out an amused huff. He took a swigof honey sweetened citrus juice then shyly beamed at Dylen.Ido seem to have overdone it, Riodan conceded. But if yourecall, I always had a hearty appetite. Your addaused to warn me to slow down if I didnt want to grow to the sizeof a barge.Thatfurther lifted Dylens already raised eyebrows. Riodan avoidedreminiscing about the past lest the memories stirred Dylensvolatile temper where he was concerned.Yes,I do recall those days, Dylen cautiously agreed. But surely youhavent been eating thusly since then. Youd be as large as abattleship if you have.Riodanchortled. Youre right. I havent eaten like this in ages. Ijust woke up with a keen appetite, and I dont know why. Hepaused, his smile faltering slightly. Or at least I do know whythough it seems wicked to take pleasure in it, he murmured.Takepleasure in what?Dylenwondered as color rose in Riodans face. The ambassador bit his lipthen looked almost self-consciously around the hall before turningback to answer.Isent a letter to Guyon yestereve, he quietly said. I ended ourbetrothal. Dylen stared at him. But it was for the sake of thatbetrothal that you He brokeoffand just looked at Riodan incredulously.Riodanshook his head. It isnt worth it. It never was. Why should Imaintain an arrangement that isnt right for him or me? He gazedat Dylen, his heart in his eyes. The sight nearly stole the breathfrom Dylens breast. And it barred the way for me to ever fullymake amends for the wrong I did you.Butwhat of his parents? Yourparents? Rio, I... Dylen trailed away, unsure just what he wantedto say.Ihavent felt so light and free in a long time as when I sent thatletter, Riodan said with a small smile. It seemed the weight ofall Aisen had been lifted off me. Im just... For the first time inyears, Im actually happy, Dy. His gaze turned earnest, almostpleading. Wont you, cant you be happy for me?Dylenblew his breath out. After a tense moment, he reached across andcovered Riodans hand with his own. He looked warmly at Riodan andthe corners of his