be trusted to give her what she needed or wanted. Herdismissive style and rigid posture were part of a self-reliant character strategy designed toprotect her from the wounds of massive disappointmentnot needing or depending onothers was an attempt to save her from further injury. As I watched her caught in thetyranny of her toughness, I saw that, while she knew how to be strong, she didnt knowhow to be connected to people. In some ways, her strategy of insulation was functional,but it was overused: it had become a life sentence of separation. Part of the job oftherapy, as was apparent early on, was to make her somatically held knowledgeconsciously available to her, to then provide experiences in the present that wouldchallenge her self-limiting beliefs, and, finally, to offer new options for perception andbehavior.Attachment in the Present MomentClients attachment styles originate in early interactions with primary caregiversand often endure into adulthood. Deficiencies in attachment can be transformed later inlife as a consequence of nourishing and attuned relationships with partners, friends, andtherapists. However, this type of transformation requires experiential events, not justconversation. One of the most powerful ways for a therapist to establish an experiential,relational state of attunement is through mindfulnessboth the clinicians and theclients.Mindfulness starts by attending to the many details that make up the presentmoment. Unfortunately, most of us can easily be transported away from the experience ofthe moment, especially by the content of conversation. Studies have shown that 70 to 80percent of communication occurs through mostly unconscious somatic signalspace,posture, gestures, voice quality, breathing patterns, changes in energy, and alterations inskin coloration. These signals arise directly from the core beliefs and models of the worldthat the client holds.By not allowing ourselves to get carried away with the content of clients stories, we can notice the other ways in which they communicate. The process of noticing and joining with a client at this level generates the kind of nonverbal attunementnormally supplied by good early parentingthat can build secureattachment and begin to address the early injuries that may have occurred in preverballife.During our first session, Jane told me in a flat voice that her husband had decided,without consulting her, to accept a more responsible position (code for many morehours away from home) at his law firm. She roughly pulled a tissue from the box.Noticing the vehemence of her gesture, I said, Youre mad at him, huh? Yes, shereplied, Hes always like this. A flash of grief crossed on her face, followed by adismissive movement with her hands as she turned away.Rather than following the content by asking, Hes done this before? I respondedby reflecting back her current experience, saying, Youre pushing away with yourhands, huh? I left it to her to tell me what she was pushing awayher husband and/orher feelings. What shed offered was a gesture, a demonstration of the impulse to pushaway and turn inward. It seemed important, since it was performed with some energy andwas consistent with her predisposition toward self-reliance.Focusing on the gesture caught her attention. I suggested that she do it again, butslowly, really taking time to notice the