thegoodfellas/blogset-br huggingface dataset:
Holandes Johan Huibers enviou carta ao prefeito da sede olimpica de 2012 pedindo permissao para atracar embarcacao para visitacao durante o eventoPor GLOBOESPORTE.COMEm 1992, uma tempestade na regiao costeira ao norte de Amsterda, onde vive, fez Johan Huibers alimentar um sonho. Apesar de a esposa nao ter apoiado a ideia, o milionario construtor seguiu em frente. Em 2004, fez uma pequena, de 225m de comprimento, para navegar nos canais holandeses. Mas ainda nao estava satisfeito. Precisava de uma nas mesmas dimensoes da de Noe. E ela ficara pronta em julho. Huibers, de 60 anos, enviou uma carta ao prefeito de Londres, Boris Johnson, para pedir permissao para atraca-la na capital inglesa durante os Jogos Olimpicos de 2012. O objetivo, segundo materia publicada no "The New York Times", e que seja aberta a visitacao do publico. A arca contara com dois auditorios para receber 1.500 pessoas, tera tres andares e navegara pelo Tamisa com animais de verdade. O holandes quer fazer um convite a reflexao e inspirar estudantes com a historia biblica, mostrando que existe um Deus. Ele iniciou a construcao da embarcacao em 2008 e fez uso ate mesmo de pinho sueco, ja que teria sido essa a madeira que Deus ordenou Noe a usar. Lembra quando voce me disse prove que me ame? E eu disse como, e voce falou : Grite pra todo mundo ouvir que voce me ama.Ai eu disse bem baixinho no seu ouvido, EU TE AMO. Mas voce nao entendeu? Eu so queria que voce soubesse que meu mundo e voce, que ele gira em torno de te fazer feliz, e que o combustivel dele e derivado de mim.Nao tenha medo de tentar, porque a vida e curta, e eu estou aqui, esperando.Como eu queria que voce soubesse que tudo o que eu escrevo e destinado a voce, mas eu sei que voce nao le, mesmo assim, escrevo para mim, por puro desabafo. Sem coracao, e.Assim eu queria ser, assim vou tentar ser, cansei de sofrer em vao.Um coracao de lata e um sorriso estampado.Penso que, se fosse assim, nao estaria assim hoje. Eu cansei de cair , cair , cair e tentar levantar, ja nao tenho mais forcas pra isto, e, nao sei se realmente quero levantar, pois sei que se eu levantar, logo irei cair de novo.Eu nao sabia que nao podia acreditar nas suas mentiras, falsas como seu olhar, e hoje estou aqui, caida mais uma vez.Foi minha culpa, sonhei ser a pessoa ideal pra voce, mas nao cheguei nem perto disso.Veja o que voce fez eu me tornar, uma pessoa sem coracao e enferrujada, pelas lagrimas que deixei cair.Agora quero ver voce sofrer. Ca estou eu, na madrugada fria pensando em voce. Minha vontade e correr pra te encontrar, te abracar, te dizer coisas que jamais tive coragem... Dizer coisas que voce jamais esperaria ouvir de mim. Se eu pudesse te ver agora, iria cuidar de voce mesmo se voce nao estivesse precisando de cuidados. Iria te enxer de beijos, carinhos e iria te colocar entre meus bracos e deixar o tempo passar...
torcendo para que passasse de vagar, so pra mim ficar mais com voce. Mas ja que nao posso fazer tudo isso agora, quero que leia esse texto e lembre-se de mim. Sim, daquelas nossas brincadeiras bobas, das nossas conversas duradouras. Ah se voce soubesse a falta que me faz...
Voce chegou assim, na hora que eu mais precisava de alguem.de verdade.em um momento que me encontrava perdida,tao so. sem ninguemvoce se tornou especial de uma maneira, que nao tenho como falar,nao tenho como explicar.quando fiquei ao seu lado, percebi que os problemas somem, tudo fica bemme fez sentir paz, algo que acho que merece um reconhecimento extremotoda minha atencao possivel,nao sei se foi precipidato ou nao.sei que farei o maximo pre te ver felizo possivel pra te ver sorrir , e o impossivel pra ficar ao teu ladoe como se voce tivesse, me tirado de uma escuridao, que eu nao via aluzfoi um pouco por acaso. ou naoou voce veio com algum motivo, especial.como um anjo.. Te amar foi so mais uma ilusao que eu criei dentro de mim.Uma heroina que me fazia bem, quando me aproximava de voce meu coracao batia mais forte, com vontade de tentar mais uma vez, mas agora o combustivel acabou, e eu cansei de me entreter com algo tao futil.Se eu pensava que seria eterno, eu apenas me engava, nao podia esperar tanto de algo tao incerto como voce, bom, cansei.Se nao fosse pelo medo de tentar novamente, me arriscar, eu pararia de me matar aos poucos, e tentaria ser feliz mais uma vez. Voce e tao cheio de misterios, eu so consigo pensar direito quando voce esta comigoEsse ritmo esta certamente entalhado, martelando ferozmente, te desejando dentro do meu coracaoEu te sinto!De alguma maneira, voce nunca estara sozinhaDe agora em dianteMesmo que voce pense em desistirNao vou deixa-la cairVoce nunca vai estar sozinhaVou te abracar ate a dor passarE agora, enquanto eu puderEstarei te segurando com ambas as maosPois sempre acrediteiQue nao ha nada que eu precise a nao ser voceEntao, se eu ainda nao o fiz,Tenho que deixar voce saberVoce nunca vai estar so; Eu nao sei ainda, o porque me pego pensando em voce.era pra tudo isso ter tido um fim!Depois de tudo o que me fez, acho que deveria ter aprendido.Mas nao, e como se fosse uma tatuagem, que mesmo que eu queira, sei que aquilonao vai desaparecer, ou sair de mim de uma hora pra outra!Porque faz isso? eu nao te entendonao tenho como tirar conclusoes de voce. Porque a cada hora, voce muda!Porem percebo que continuo fazendo coisas que prometi pra mim , nunca mais fazer !Queria ter raiva, ou algum motivo, pra deixa-la .. Mais simplismente eu nao consigo!Percebo que me quer, so quando esta so.acabo voltando.Porque,amor nunca falha, o amor e eternoTodos meus amigos, dizem que voce nao me merece! que nao merece o meu amor!Porem acho que nunca amaram de verdade!Amor, Nao e o que voce ve nos filmes.. Voce sabe o que eu quero dizer?Estou dizendo a voce agora,. O verdadeiro amor, e sacrificio.amor e quando voce coloca a sua vida para outro, sem medo de arriscar e oque eu faria por voce .Mais parece que nao reconhece, ou ve , mas tem medo!Eu so nao quero, que olhe pra tras, se arrependa de tudo ..tarde de mais .mas..Uma pergunta. Voce tem amor? Me fechei
por voce, me tranquei em um lugar escuro, sujo e frio. Dentro de uma jaula eu expresso meu arrependimento, eu nao deveria estar ali ! Eu so peco por uma mao amiga ou um pouco de misericordia.Eu joguei minha liberdade no lixo, no exato momento em que olhei no fundo dos seus olhos e me apaixonei pela sua ternura, fui trancada so, fechada e separada do mundo.Me desculpe, tenha piedade ! Tire-me desta prisao em que so voce tem a chave para me libertar.Se eu pudesse escolher, eu ja estaria algemada a ti, pois nao quero liberdade sem voce.
Talvez fugir seje a ultima opcao, mas a que mais me convem.Desistir de tudo e de todos, apenas prender a respiracao e esperar a salvacao.Eu amei, e foi como cavar meu proprio tumulo. Eu gritei ate minhas veias explodirem.Corra para o horizonte, fuja, desista.Ninguem e melhor do que nos mesmos, e, ninguem e capaz de se livrar de algo que nao criou.Voce me fez te amar, e me fez sofrer, agora chegou a hora de voce terminar com isso, e eu tenho um ultimo pedido :Faca do jeito menos doloroso. Eu amo voce, e eu faria qualquer coisa para te-la para mim.Voce e tudo para mim, minha motivacao , voce e meu sonho nao correspondido.Voce e pra mim como uma lenda em que eu devo acreditar, a para torna-la real so me falta uma razao.Entao venha, e me tire daqui !Pegue minha mao e mostre-me o caminho , pois isto e tudo o que eu sempre quis. Seus olhos espelham a minha felicidade, suas maos e o caminho para ela.Querida, eu queria que voce soubesse que tudo o que eu faco e para voce !E eu sei que quando voce precisa sou eu quem se torna o seu refugio, voce pode ter quem voce quiser, mas no final, quem te completa sou eu.Pare de perder seu tempo, pois o relogio nao para, e eu nao vou estar aqui para sempre. Whenever I went to get my school uniform, my mum got the uniform or a pair of shoes two or three sizes bigger than my own and said "You'll grow into it, we don't have the money to keep buying it new all the time". I looked at the long sleeves drooping over my hands, or the hems of trousers folded up, or the space between my toe and the front of the shoe and wondered how it was possible that one day I could fill all this space.I think this is the same feeling I have facing the immense changes facing me at hand. It has been a feeling recurrent - but now it seems somewhat foolish that the object of fear would be passing with a good mark in electromagnetism or in ordinary differential equations. At present, as the weeks go by and I tick of items pending on my "to do" list, my imminent departure of the place that has been "home" for my entire life becomes more real. It's good, but it's bad. It's exciting, but absolutely terrifying. It's a full on paradox. This is a process that I have called informally "adulting" - and it feels like it's time to face more responsibility than I feel prepared to take on. -- A homemade definition --adulting/dlt,adltiNG/verb The sudden realisation of the need to become fully grown and developed. "He is adulting very much now that he has to pay his own bills." noun Process related to taking on responsibility for one's self and one's actions. "They have not talked so much lately because of adulting." adjective Quality that contributes to the process of adulting (see noun). "Living abroad
is a very adulting experience."However, thinking of all the times the "too small to fill these shoes" feeling was present, it was a remarkably similar feeling. The challenges we face throughout life fill us equally of fear and insecurity, from when we learn our alphabet to when we have to write a cover letter for our CV. However much now I could look back at when I was learning my timetables and think "How I wish those were my issues now...", the truth is, I do not wish I was in that phase of my life, because at the time, learning timetables was as challenging then to me as the challenges I face now.The trouble with nostalgia is that looking back in time, more often than not, memories are an idealised scene of our past that have been subject to years of emotional attribution and subjectivity. We tend to store memory most strongly when it is relevant emotionally. This is why many times we remember well something we ate that made us sick, and why we also remember well moments that made us very happy. Emotional relevance makes your body more likely to put the effort into memorising a particular type of data, and so we have very extreme memories of the past.Likewise, we tend to idealise the future and have high expectations - but given that the number of variables coordinating our future is infinitely larger than anything we can even imagine, whatever future we imagine is almost definitely not the same as what it actually will be. This is a dangerous way of thinking and it may make us believe other times are much better or much worse than our present [1] - the only time we can actually do something about. This type of logic - nostalgic or futuristic - distorts our view of the world, and cripples us when faced with new situations because our reference point of "good" or "easy" is unrealistic. We believe the grass is always greener away from our present situation.I think it's interesting looking at God's approach to such things in his Word. We are creatures bound within time (for now, anyway), and time is mentioned indirectly. Consistently in the old testament God reminds us to look to the past and see what he has done, to see his faithfulness. He does not tell us to look at the circumstances, at our emotional context, at the people surrounding us in a certain point of life - but he told us to look to Him, and no one else. When he speaks to Israel, he asks her to remember all he has done and the signs and evidence of his love (Deuteronomy 8.10-18). He calls himself multiple times the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. He attaches the memory of his work, love and faithfulness to his very name. He was, he is and is to come (Revelation 4.8).Time is not significant to him, and he is not bound by it - thus, when we look at his character in the past, we are
also seeing his character in the future, and present. The only difference is the expression of this character through the different filters of circumstance.Viewing him and his work in the past, apart from making us unrealistically idealise circumstances in the past, also brings our attention back to his faithfulness - the reason why fear of the future, or even giving it undue attention is absolutely unnecessary. He teaches us to pray for "our daily bread" - not a bread like yesterdays, or enough bread to stock up for years to come. By remembering what he has done, we cease to try to live in any time other than our own, for it is in the present we can live, breathe, love, interact, learn and change. We see only him in the past and trust him with the future - while it is in the present that we touch eternity, and can actually do something to be closer to what he intends us to be in eternity.And thinking of this, of all the times I felt too small to fit the shoes I was wearing, these were the moments I stopped and looked to God, and he helped me through the next unstable steps. Consistently he showed me where to step and held my hand, and slowly I grew to fit the shoes I had - and were my weakness abounded, his strength abounded even more. I guess it's time to tie the shoelaces and trust him for the next step!"One step thou seest - then go forward boldlyOne step is far enough for faith to seeTake that, and the next duty shall be told theeFor step by step by step, the Lord is leading thee"[1] I came across an interesting word that seems to have a meaning that explains this very well (according to the wisdom of Wikipedia, anyway): Sehnsucht but that "represents thoughts and feelings about all facets of life that are unfinished or imperfect, paired with a yearning for ideal alternative experiences. It has been referred to as lifes longings; or an individuals search for happiness while coping with the reality of unattainable wishes. Such feelings are usually profound, and tend to be accompanied by both positive and negative feelings. This produces what has often been described as an ambiguous emotional occurrence."
In spite of having multiple hobbies and interests, it has been with some disappointment and a nagging sense of guilt that I have watched my time spent drawing, painting or writing dwindle over the past few months. Even though I wouldn't consider my hours to be unreasonable in any way, the fact is once I am done with experiments, reviewing scientific literature and writing my thesis or papers, I do not really feel like exercising the intellectual effort of engaging in any of my other hobbies. All I want to do is sit down, eat and let my mind rest with an easy to read fiction book, a movie or an episode of a series. However, observing this trend I began to wonder: how much of my time and, ultimately, my life is being poured down the drain into fictional worlds that have never existed? Into worlds of happy endings, of magic, dragons knights in shining armour? Worlds in which science works like magic, and in which heroes and villains are caricatures, as easily told apart as black and white? Stories in which the good guy gets the girl and they live happily ever after (whatever that is supposed to mean)?If, for instance, I were to consider two hours a day destined to entertainment (either one movie, two episodes of a series or a few chapters of a book), that would sum up to 14 hours a week, 730 hours a year - which is shockingly one month per year or an average of approximately 6 years of one's life (given a life of approximately 70 years) spent away from the real world. The fact is our generation consumes an unprecedented amount of entertainment, and much of identity is based on the types of movies, books and music you like. There has been a decline in people with particular intellectual interests, and very often bonding and friendship are based solely on similar entertainment choices. Suddenly, financially we are not capable of funding the extent of entertainment, and thus illegal downloads have increased and people 'own' more than their computers are capable of storing. We have come to the circumstance in which our need for entertainment has reached an extent where it is now socially acceptable (and often expected) that you will literally steal something to be able to satisfy your need for it. One of the many issues arising from this is that it is profoundly changing the way we see and interact with the world. For instance, recently a study was published on the way that romance novels and movies are as harmful to relationships as pornography; each of them profit from creating an artificially constructed ideal which satisfies the two stereotypical forms of ideal relationships of each gender. From spending extensive amount of time in these artificial worlds, we create false expectations as to what relationships are like, and thus are perpetually unsatisfied. We are frustrated believing that perhaps another person might fulfil our emotional or sexual desires in the way portrayed in a particular book or movie. Now only
that, also most movies do have a romantic component: the good guy wins the girl, kisses (or has sex with) the girl and the credits start rolling. And suddenly people find themselves in an actual relationships in which they have to figure out what happens after the first kiss or what "happily ever after" actually involves. However, believing that the negative consequences of excess entertainment are limited to romantic relationships is at best naive. The flooding of our minds of a month per year of action, emotion, magic, powers and supernatural abilities suddenly makes the real world seem impossibly dull and boring. Suddenly we find that often we will "pursue our dreams" and that won't work out. We may try our best, but we still do not achieve fame and success. Our beauty standards of what we should look like are completely unrealistic (sorry ladies, I don't think you have time to retouch make up in a zombie apocalypse and sorry lads, there is no science to make your muscles grow overnight like Captain America). Disregarding rules will have negative consequences, unlike what Harry Potter says. Relationships are not made of first kisses and happily ever afters - they are made of imperfect people working hard to take care of each other (and that probably will involve conflict). We then look at our lives - hours of studying, hours doing work we don't really know the point of, hours cooking and housekeeping, our relationships, financial difficulties - and we can't help but be sorely disappointed and frustrated. Our wins do not have crowds cheering us forward, and our accomplishments do not have epic music. This disappointment drains us emotionally, and our lives seem to not have meaning - and so we ease our minds by flooding them with yet more of the temporary joy and meaning of mindless entertainment. We need to feel some spark of joy, power or hope and thus we look to fiction as we often cannot find it in the world. I do not think that eliminating entertainment entirely is a solution. Storytelling has always had a place in society - often it would be a form of communicating inheritance, origin and education. Fiction is a form of art which may help bring to light relevant matter of society or morality, for example. It is one way of building empathy and understanding points of view other than your own by living in the situation of other characters. However, the concern I have had in observing is the increasing importance and dependence we have on it, and how much of ourselves is defined by activities often destined only to 'switch off' our brains. It seems to be a numbing of the mind hypnotising us into a trance, a fiction that pulls us out of the real world and keeps us trapped in an addiction artificial emotions - not very unlike the use of drugs and alcohol. From a Christian perspective, I cannot help but ask myself: How much does this endless entertainment contribute to my soul and character? How
many years of my limited time on earth do I want to give to Hollywood and Netflix? What is there in me and my life that drives me so strongly to numb myself, fleeing from myself and reality? Or, the question I have been using to reevaluate many aspects of my life: What is the relevance of this in light of eternity?
This week I entered the last year of my first quarter of a century. In general, I don't like making a big deal about birthdays, but there is something particular about my recently acquired age. It is an age I generally associated with a person that has everything much more 'together' than I do - that knows what their future beyond the next 10 months looks like. Someone that has at least a more established idea of what career path to take. A week in, I think it's safe to assume no magical changes happen to a person when they blow the candles that makes them into an amazingly put together adult.Entering the sixth year of living away from my mother's home - I am completing a fourth of my life as a nomad, living away from my mother's home. I have in two years lived in three cities under about 6 different addresses. I have lived in houses with 13 different people. Unsurprisingly, I feel a bit worn out.I carry around things to try to make anywhere feel like home - candles, posters, pictures, letters, books, quotes. But at the moment I look at the year ahead of me - not knowing what lies beyond that - and my heart just yearns for somewhere to be "home". Somewhere to rest the head and the heart. Somewhere of peace, and of love. And rather than a housing issue - of a building with a ceiling and four walls - I believe my current issue is one of 'homing'.For many years, I thought that desiring the stability of a family to come home to was something inherently wrong. I thought I had to get my act together on my own, be independent and responsible for myself, stable emotionally and not depend on anyone or anything to determine my identity. Seeking such things in a house, in a family, were, to me, signs of some form of weakness.I also thought that as a Christian this was wrong. I had seen so many people around me making a family into an idol in itself - something worshiped and pursued far more than the one who created the family in the first place - that I constantly feared this. Often, I would avoid discussions about marriage or children not due to lack of interest, but out of fear of succumbing to this idol I had seen ruin so many lives. God must be enough on His own.I still approach such ideas with caution and rebuke myself when I sway too much in that direction; howbeit, I have come to understand that the feeling of yearning a home, emotional stability and love are not inherently bad in themselves. Like most things, what matters is not the feeling, but what we do with it. What may ultimately destroy us is what we direct these desires to.For instance, God established marriage himself before the fall (Gn. 2). Therefore, it is his creation and was within everything he saw was "Good". He said it was not good for man to