thegoodfellas/blogset-br huggingface dataset:
by Rachel WhalleyI am not what happens to me. I choose who I become. ~Carl JungRecently I experienced a big shockthe kind that most of us dont encounter very often.I was with a friend when I discovered evidence of a physical disaster near my home. I did not, at that time, know any of the details, nor did I know what kind of impact it might have on my own life.Now, normally, I am a person who likes, even needs, to process my emotional impact verbally. In other words, I really like to talk things out. (What else would you expect from a professional therapist, right?)But in this circumstance, I found myself unwilling to talk about my inner workings at all. My friend who was with me was even a little frustrated. She couldnt understand why I shut down. I didnt even know, myself.So What Happened?Later though, as I recovered from the feeling of shock, and that first big emotional wallop, I had some insight into my own process.Usually, I am pretty grounded. I know how I feel pretty quickly, and Im agile and adaptable, able to examine my shifting thoughts and feelings within a few minutes.When something like that shock hits me, though, I dont know how I feel. I hear lots of my inner parts giving all different kinds of feelings and ideas. I can feel my Core Self listening to them, kind of like a trained cop handling tens of panicky witnesses.And I discovered that the reason I didnt want to talk about these thoughts and feelings as they came up was because I didnt want to commit to any of them. I could have explored any one of those thoughts and followed it down the rabbit hole, getting worked up about a particular story.In that vulnerable state where I still wasnt grounded enough to know what I believed, I sent up my boundaries so that I could calm the riotous crowd inside me until I knew what thoughts and emotion I decided to allow to fully exist.How Did I Do That?This may sound like some kind of zen mentalist magic, but the truth is that anyone can learn to do this.In her book Emotional Alchemy, author Tara Bennett-Goleman talks about the very latest research in neuroscienceincluding the neurological magic quarter second, during which it is possible for a thought to be caught before it turns into an emotional reaction.Its so much easier to nip a feeling in the bud, before it really takes root and spreads throughout my system and I have to go digging up the entire weedy garden.Dr. Carl Jung knew, more than fifty years ago, that such mindfulness was possible. Im so grateful to live in an age where the tools to achieve it are so readily available, so that each of us who wishes to can achieve true peace. A recent executive education program I attended got me thinking about the ways in which embedded emotional responses continually undermine our goals and intentions. Which reminded me of Tara Bennett-Golemans 2001 book, "Emotional Alchemy: How
chance you get. As human beings our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world, Gandhi once said, as being able to remake ourselves. Once youve found a more positive response to embedded maladaptive one, iteration becomes the order of the day
From the window of my London hotel room Big Ben displays itself, a prominent, elegant presence amid the vista of river, billowing clouds, and spreading jumble of skyline. Big Ben has a grandeur as a piece of architecture, but I find my eye drawn more to the broad, open expanse of sky and river. The panorama above and below Big Ben's rounded bluntness includes a resplendence of steeples and bridges that occupy the central view from my window. I notice how my mind, at first glance, takes in the spaciousness of the cloud-filled sky and the soothing expanse of the river below like a regal oil painting by some turn-of-the-century landscape artist, or like a postcard-perfect snapshot. But as I gaze more carefully, with a sustained attention, I notice that the still snapshot-like rendering of this scene dissolves into a whirl of constant motion, a continuing series of tiny movements that add up to a vastly altered picture. There are tiny successive changes in the shape of clouds as they glide across the sky, sometimes opening up patches of sky through which rays of sunlight spill along the landscape, illuminating shadows into patches of light. There's the translucent shine of buildings and roads and bright red buses as they momentarily bathe in the glow. The scene before me shimmers with kinetic energy. And so it is with our inner landscapes. This shift in my perception mirrors how the mind works: the tendency to assume it has got the whole picture on first glance, to rush on without a closer look, and the sometimes startling fact that if one continues to look more carefully, there is always more to be discovered beyond those initial assumptions. Too often we take our first impressions, the conclusions from a first hasty glance, as the lasting truth of the moment. But if we keep looking and noticing, we become aware of greater detail and nuance, of changes and second thoughts, and much more. We can see things more as they actually are, rather than as they appear to be. We can bring a more precise understanding to the moment.If we sustain our gaze within, sometimes our probe may detect pain behind the masks we wear. But if we continue to look, we can see how the patterns of pain hold that very mask in place, and as we investigate further we see even these patterns shift and rearrange themselves. We see how our reactions to our emotions can keep us at a distance from ourselves. And if we sustain our focus, allowing ourselves to open more honestly, our awareness penetrates further, unraveling and dissolving, peeling away the layers as we look still further. We begin to connect with more genuine parts of ourselves, at first in glimpses. Then, as we sustain our gaze, we connect with a source that breathes awareness into every layer of our being.This book is about seeing ourselves as we genuinely are, not as we seem on first glance as viewed through the filters of our habitual assumptions and emotional patterns. We will
explore how through the practice of mindfulnessa method for training the mind to expand the scope of awareness while refining its precisionwe can reach beyond the limiting ways we see ourselves. We will see how to disengage from the emotional habits that undermine our lives and our relationships. We will discover how a precise mindfulness can investigate these emotional habits, bringing an insightful clarity to distinguish between the seeming and the actual.The Power of Mindfulness I've seen the power of this distinction in the lives of my clients. One client found herself obsessed by self-recrimination for not having done something well enough. Thought highly successful in her career, she was her biggest critic. She told me, for example, "Last week I had to give a very important presentation-lots of people were going to be there whose opinions really matter to me. So I prepared more than usual and thought I had done a pretty good job. Afterward, several people complimented me. But one person said, 'You did a terrific job. It could have been a little shorter, though.' That was it. For the last several days that's all I can think about- how I went on too long. I wake up in the middle of the night worrying about it."This was no isolated event. The feeling that she never did things quite well enough haunted her-in her work, in her marriage, in caring for her children, even in her cooking. It was constant preoccupation, one that marred her closest relationships and made the smallest challenge an occasion for self-doubt or self-criticism.A more systematic investigation led her to realize that at the root of this preoccupation was a hidden emotional pattern, the deep conviction that no matter how well she did something, it would never be quite up to her own impossibly high standards. This mistaken conviction distorted her perceptions, so she overlooked the evidence of how well she actually did accomplish things. And it let her to drive herself far too hard, so that she cheated herself of time for life's meaningful pleasures. Mindfulness helps us to identify such hidden emotional patterns, bringing them into the light of awareness so that we can begin to free ourselves from their hold.Once couple had fights that threatened their relationship. A mutual mindful awareness allowed them to detect the hidden patterns that caused them to have essentially the same argument over and over. Whenever she started to feel insecure about his affection for her, she would become needy. He would feel that she was controlling him and withdraw in anger. The result; a stormy fight. By looking closely at what had happened after they both calmed down, they were able to see how his angry withdrawal and her anxious clinging were both emotional reactions to an underlying symbolic reality.Their constant battles, on closer investigation, had little to do with the situation at hand, and much to do with the symbolic meanings of what had happened: his fear of being controlled and her oversensitivity to signs of rejection because of a deep feeling that she was
being emotionally deprived. Learning to identify these habitual emotional reactions as they began to take hold allowed the couple to avoid fights and to communicate more skillfully.A dedicated mediator who had tried to relieve the distress of her lifelong feelings of disconnection by going on long retreats found herself obsessing even more about these very feelings while meditating at a retreat center. As she put it, "Your madness follows you on you spiritual path." But learning how to see these seemingly formidable emotional reactions as transparent and temporary allowed her to use them as fuel for her practice, deepening her compassion for herself as well as for others.This transformation beings with refocusing the lenses of your conditioning to see things more clearly, as they actually are. You might wonder, Who am I, if I am not my usual pattern of assumptions and self-definitions? This question can be asked from both a psychological and spiritual perspective-a process of inner discovery that hope this book will inspire.
Alquimia emocional O seguinte e um artigo de Tara Bennett-Goleman (autor do livro de mesmo nome), no qual ela descreve como o poder transformador da consciencia pode ser aplicado ao nosso doloroso padroes emocionais. (O artigo e retirado do dom Shambhala, Marco de 2001). Cada coisa tem que se transformar em algo melhor, e adquirir um novo destino ", Paulo Coelho escreve em seu romance O Alquimista. Coelho descreve o mundo como apenas o aspecto visivel de Deus, com as forcas espirituais invisiveis em jogo que permanecem largamente desconhecidos para nos . Alquimia ocorre quando o plano espiritual entra em contato com o plano material. Eu estava determinado livro de Paulo Coelho por um cliente, que me disse: "Isso me faz lembrar do nosso trabalho juntos." De fato, a alquimia oferece uma metafora para o processo de trabalhar com as emocoes vou descrever. Alquimistas, os contos vao, tentou usar uma pedra filosofal magica para transformar chumbo em ouro. Mas chumbo e ouro, na escola mais filosofica da alquimia, eram metaforas para estados internos: a disciplina do alquimista foi um dos transformacao psicologica e espiritual. Alquimistas perceberam que o misterio que procurou resolver nao estava fora de si, mas na psique. Algumas escolas alquimico comparo o nosso estado normal da mente para um pedaco de carvao e comparar a consciencia clara de um diamante. Nao poderia parecem haver maior contraste no mundo material do que entre o carvao e um diamante, e ainda os dois sao diferentes mas os arranjos das moleculas identicas de carbono. Assim como um diamante e carvao transformado, de forma clara consciencia pode surgir de nossa confusao. O que me intriga sobre a metafora da alquimia e a importancia que atribui no processo de transformacao. Um cliente, um acupunturista que estudou medicina chinesa, disse-me que a palavra "alquimia", melhor do que qualquer outra palavra, descreve o processo de integracao da pratica da meditacao mindfulness com o trabalho emocional: "A alquimia e aceitar tudo na panela sem tentar para rejeitar ou corrigi-lo ve que mesmo o negativo e parte do aprendizado e da cura. " Mindfulness significa ver as coisas como elas sao, sem tentar muda-los. O ponto e dissolver nossas reacoes as emocoes perturbadoras, tendo o cuidado de nao rejeitar a emocao em si. Mindfulness pode alterar a forma como nos relacionamos com, e perceber, nossos estados emocionais, mas nao necessariamente os eliminam. O calor da luz do sol dissolver a umidade das nuvens, a alquimia da natureza, ecoa o fogo quente da atencao plena derretendo as nuvens que cobrem a nossa natureza emocional interior. Os efeitos de tais periodos de clareza perspicaz pode ser passageira e momentanea, durando apenas ate a proxima nuvem se forma emocional. Mas esta consciencia reacender uma e outra vez, trazendo-a para suportar sobre essas nuvens interior, deixando-a penetrar e dissolver a nevoa em nossas mentes, e o coracao da pratica da atencao plena, uma pratica podemos aprender a sustentar. Eu acredito que, dadas as ferramentas de sensibilizacao direito, todos nos temos o potencial para ser alquimistas interior, com a habilidade natural para transformar
e execucao de estudos e na analise e comunicacao dos resultados. " (P. 6) Ele observou que nao ha explicacao teorica dos efeitos na saude da meditacao comum a todas as tecnicas de meditacao. Uma nova analise do conjunto de dados em 2008 reafirmou os pontos fracos da pesquisa, concluindo que "A maioria dos ensaios clinicos sobre praticas de meditacao sao geralmente caracterizadas pela qualidade metodologica pobre, com riscos significativos para a validade em todos os dominios principais de qualidade avaliados". Esta foi a conclusao, apesar de um aumento estatisticamente significativo na qualidade de toda a pesquisa meditacao revista, em geral, ao longo do tempo entre 1956-2005. Dos 400 estudos clinicos, 10% foram encontrados para ser de boa qualidade. A chamada foi feita para o estudo rigoroso de meditacao. Estes autores tambem observaram que este resultado nao e exclusivo para a area de pesquisa da meditacao e que a qualidade da informacao e um problema frequente em outras areas da medicina complementar e alternativa (CAM) de pesquisa e dominios de investigacao relacionados com a terapia. Em 2006 NCCAM revisto a sua definicao de meditacao, enfatizando a experiencia da "suspensao da actividade do pensamento". Esta definicao levou a possibilidade de comparar a meditacao silencio mental orientado com descansando sozinho e estudos descobriram significativas diferencas fisiologicas entre os dois. Foi constatou que todas as abordagens para a meditacao pode conseguir alguns beneficios nao-especifica no entanto a abordagem silencio mental pode estar associado a beneficios especificos adicionais que sao clinicamente beneficos.
offers a scientific approach to inner work, a theory of mind that anyone, Buddhist or not, can draw insights and benefit from. When we apply this approach, the emphasis is not so much on the problems in our lives as on connecting with the clarity and health of mind itself. If we can do this, our problems become more workable. They become opportunities to learn rather than threats to avoid.Buddhist psychology holds a refreshingly positive view of human nature: our emotional problems are seen as temporary and superficial. The emphasis is on what is right with us, an antidote to the fixation of Western psychology on what's wrong with us. Buddhist psychology acknowledges our disturbing emotions but sees them as covering our essential goodness like clouds covering the sun. In this sense, our darker moments and most upsetting feelings are an opportunity for uncovering our natural wisdom, if we choose to use them that way.Mindful attention allows us to delve deeper into the moment, to perceive finer subtlety, than does ordinary attention. In this sense, mindfulness creates "wise" attention, a space of clarity that emerges when we quiet the mind. It makes us more receptive to the whispers of our innate intuitive wisdom.Through my own inner work, as well as in my work as a psychotherapist and workshop leader, I have found that combining a mindful awareness with psychological investigation forges a powerful means to penetrate dense emotions. This meditative awareness, I've found, can bring us a remarkably subtle understanding of our emotional patterns and so help us find ways to unravel deep fixations and destructive habits.In this work, I've found two methods to be especially potent for detecting and transforming emotional patterns: mindfulness meditation and a recent adaptation of cognitive therapy, called schema therapy, which focuses on repairing maladaptive emotional habits. Both of these methodsone ancient and one modernbring awareness to destructive emotional habits, and that is the first step toward healing them.Becoming aware of these emotional habits is the first step, because unless we can catch and challenge them as they are triggered by the events of our lives, they will dictate how we perceive and react. And the more they take us over, the more they'll keep coming back, complicating our relationships, our work, and the most basic ways in which we see ourselves.Schema therapy was developed by Dr. Jeffrey Young, the founder of the Cognitive Therapy Center of New York. Its focus is on healing maladaptive patterns, or schemas, like the sense of emotional deprivation, or relentless perfectionism. In working with my own clients, I have found that mindfulness meditation and schema therapy work together naturally and powerfully.Schema therapy gives us a clear map to destructive habits. It details the emotional contours of, say, the fear of abandonment, with its constant apprehension that a partner will leave us; or of feelings of vulnerability, such as the irrational fear that a minor setback at work means you will end up jobless and homeless.There are ten such major schemas (and countless variations): most of us have one or two principal
ones, though many of us have several others to some extent. Other common schemas include unlovability, the fear that people would reject us if they truly knew us; mistrust, the constant suspicion that those close to us will betray us; social exclusion, the feeling that we dont belong; failure, the sense that we cannot succeed at what we do; subjugation, always giving in to other people's wants and demands; and entitlement, the sense that one is somehow special, and so beyond ordinary rules and limits.Through working with my clients, it has become clear to me that adding mindfulness to psychotherapy greatly enhances its effectiveness, helping clients see the otherwise invisible emotional patterns at the root of their suffering. I have been struck by how much the therapy process was accelerated when a client practiced mindfulness. I have found that combining a mindful awareness with psychological investigation forges a powerful tool for cultivating emotional wisdom on a practical, day-to-day level.Much time in psychotherapy typically entails bringing the detailed anatomy of emotional habits into the light of awareness so they can be investigated, reflected on, and changed. But mindfulness meditation can make any system of psychotherapy more precise and attuned, letting us bring our own wisdom to the psychological unfolding. Instead of seeing the therapy or even the therapist as the cure, we can shift our focus to the healing qualities of our own inner wisdom. This wake-up call need not be set apart from our lives; it needn't be something we do only in isolated hours in a therapist's office. It can be part of life, moment to moment, with the application of mindfulness.Mindfulness is synergistic with virtually any psychotherapy approach, not just schema therapy. If you are in psychotherapy, mindfulness offers a way to cultivate a capacity for self-observation that you can bring to whatever confronts you during the day. Combining mindfulness with psychotherapy may help you use more fully the opportunity for inner exploration that your therapy offers.When it comes to the turbulent feelings that roil within us, it's not that we are able to wrap up our bewildering emotions in neat formulaic explanations, but that we can use an ongoing inquiry to reach small epiphanies, insights that grow one on the other toward a greater clarity. In a sense, our darker moments and most upsetting feelings are an opportunity for spiritual growth and uncovering our natural wisdom, for waking upif we choose to use them that way. If so, our deepest insights can emerge from working directlywith awarenesswith our own difficulties.A strong emotional obsession or pattern is like the scene in "The Wizard of Oz" where Dorothy and her companions finally get to Oz. The Wizard is this powerful, looming presence that terrifies themuntil the little dog Toto calmly goes over and pulls back the curtain to reveal an old man stooped over the controls, manipulating a huge wizard image. Emotional fixations are like thatif you see them clearly, unflinchingly, for what they really are, you take the power away from them. They no longer control you. Confusion dawns as
clarity.About the Author: TARA BENNETT-GOLEMAN is a psychotherapist and long-time student of Judaism. This article is adapted from her new book, Emotional Alchemy: How he Mind Can Heal the Heart, 2000, which integrates mindfulness and Buddhist psychology with schema therapy and neuroscience, published by Harmony Books, a division of Random House, Inc.