thegoodfellas/blogset-br huggingface dataset:
Simplesmente eu te amo , e sei o que e o amor ! O amor tem la seus defeitos , infelizmente ! Por isso , voce e o homem errado para minha vida . Um homem que chegou junto com um sentimento que entrou dentro de mim , e eu nao sei como ! Pois esse nao e o lugar certo pra voce ficar , nao dentro de mim , nao dentro do meu coracao ! Talvez eu tenha me iludido demais , talvez tenha sido so por aquele dia , mas infelizmente o que esta dentro de mim e mais forte ! Talvez voce nao ligue para o meu sofrimento , ou as vezes nem saiba que ele exista ! As lagrimas que estao caindo pelo meu rosto durante dias , infelizmente e por uma boa causa , tentar te esquecer de uma vez ! Nunca quis que alguem entrasse na minha vida dessa forma , parabens , voce conseguiu ! Mas se um dia entrou , mais cedo ou mais tarde tera que sair , tera que ir embora ! Amava ter voce comigo como amigo ! Poder te dar conselhos , poder contar com voce pra tudo , momentos ! Mas essa amizade infelizmente virou amor ! E como eu posso ser um dia amigo de alguem que eu tanto amei ?! O esforco que eu tenho para que essa amizade continue e imenso ! Tentar te esquecer nao me faz te odiar , me faz odiar a mim mesma por ter sido o alvo de uma paixao que nunca existiu ! Estou me afastando , estou te esquecendo ! E isso vai acabar , isso ira embora de dentro de mim ! O meu problema e acreditar demais nas pessoas , me apegar demais ! O meu medo e errar , cair , e depois sofrer ou fazer alguem sofrer com esse erro ! O meu medo e encarar isso tudo , encarar o futuro , me decepcionar e nao conseguir levantar e seguir em frente ! Mas mesmo com esse medo , e o erro que me da seguranca ! E com ele que eu aprendo a levantar a cabeca quando e preciso ! E com ele que eu enfrento barreiras , mesmo com o medo me atordoando ! O meu problema e achar que tudo e muito perfeito , e deixar todos os defeitos de lado ! As vezes , acho que o mundo caiu em cima de mim , mais muitas vezes o medo fica de lado , e eu consigo resolver . As vezes eu sofro , sofro , sofro , e depois vejo que nao tinha o porque desse meu sofrimento ! Me chamo muitas vezes de boba , por ter vergonha de coisas que nunca deveria ter , me chamo muitas vezes de burra por ter deixado de fazer algo que queria tanto fazer ! Mas vejo que mesmo sendo assim , mesmo tendo muitos sonhos , mesmo enfrentando tudo isso , o meu maior sonho e ser feliz ! Voce sabe
que e um pouco tarde demais,voce pega minha mao, e voce diz que mudou ,mas garoto voce sabe, que seu implorar nao me engana ,porque para voce e apenas um jogo. Entao deixa-me para traz,porque o tempo me tornou forte ,estou comecando a seguir em frente ,eu vou dizer isso agora : sua chance veio e se foi ,e voce sabe ,e um pouco tarde demais,um pouco errado demais,e eu nao posso esperar.Garoto voce sabe todas as coisas certas para dizer , voce diz que sonha com meu rosto ,mas voce nao gosta de mim ,voce so gosta da conquista.Para ser real, nao importa de qualquer jeito , e so um pouco tarde demais. Eu sou jovem, e apaixonada ,eu te dei tudo mas isso nao foi suficiente e agora voce quer se comunicar , va procurar outra pessoa ! Em deixar voce ir eu estou me amando , voce tem um problema, mas nao venha me pedindo para ajudar ! Eu te dei amor , eu quis ser amada ! E enquanto eu te amava tanto , voce estava nos bracos de outras , enganando outras ! Eu nao me arrependo de ter te amado , ou ter passado momentos com voce , porque naquele tempo , mesmo sendo boba , eu era feliz ! E isso so me fez aprender , me fez nunca mais cair no papo de meninos do seu estilo , mesmo que seja dificil ! Finjo que nem te conheco , finjo que nunca aconteceu nada entre nos dois , finjo que nunca conversei ou troquei olhares com os seus ! Quero distancia de tudo que lembro ,de tudo que existe na minha memoria , e isso e passado ! O que passou , passou , mas se fosse possivel eu mudava isso tudo , eu nunca teria me apaixonado por voce !
Voce nao e o cara certo , este nao e o lugar certo ,nao e o momento certo ,este nao e o dia certo ,eu sou apenas uma estranha que entrou em seu mundo ! Tudo nao passou de um sonho , de uma fantasia que completava e envolvia cada vez mais o meu ser . E hoje , eu acordei desse chamado " sonho " , que me fez sofrer , me fez cair na real ! Eu nao sei explicar o que sinto , o que senti , so sei que isso tudo nao passou de uma ilusao ! Mais agora e enfrentar tudo o que vem pela frente sem voce , sem sua presenca . E eu acho que isso vai me fazer bem . Chrysa Parkinson What are you working on? Im trying to understand practices, particularly the practices of performing artists. Im working in Montpellier at 6M1L/E.x.erce. And Im touring, with Zoo/Thomas Hauert and occasionally with Deborah Hay. And Im teaching. When Im not performing, I do a daily performance practice based on a combination of scores from Deborah and Zoo and other people. It has about six sections. Sometimes I help people devise daily performance practices (aka Personal Performance Practice, or PPP). Sometimes I just talk to people about how they hierarchize information and sustain themselves creatively. Sometimes I take part of someones practice and add it to my own. That sounds like a lot of things. Its all the same thing kind of. It just happens in a lot of different places. Can you define what you mean by practice more clearly? Im trying to do that. Im not satisfied yet. I started with the idea that theres something I do that is not training, process, or product, and that this thing is what underlies the decisions I make about training, process and product. And I wanted to call that thing my practice but I didnt have a way of saying that in one phrase a slogan. Then I thought maybe I could say the underlying, over-arching thing I do is giving and getting attention. Then more recently I thought maybe my practice is just performance. Why do you need the slogan? I dont really. But its useful for demystification. Seems like you would have to be careful that the wording doesnt hijack the concept. Yes. Thats the whole point, actually. I want to identify this concept of practice more precisely because I can feel that not only are my training, process and product changing, but also my way of choosing them is changing. In order to be clear and responsible, conscious, generous, effective, etcetera, I need to take a look at how Im making decisions, and why. So a practice is like a structure. A volatile one. The most important thing to me about identifying my practice is noticing it change, letting it change. Does this interest come up because of teaching people? Yes. I notice my students devising principles, or thought-maps, mythologies, wish-lists, moral codes... some substructure that helps them navigate or synthesize
or do some other thing that I dont know exactly what it is; that thing helps them get through and around and up on their work. A lot of students start from a very vulnerable, vague point. Then they go make lives based on making art. Its remarkable. But isnt that just that they get training and then become good enough at what they want to do to actually do it? No. They often redefine being good at it by redefining it. Thats the excitement. They use their education to change the field they work in. Not everyone. No. But even the ones who fit into an existing set of standards arrive at that level of achievement through something more than just training. Taking class every day isnt enough. You have to have a way of processing information that works. And I see it in the other, older artists I work with too. But is that the actual definition of practice? The thing you do that isnt training, process or product but underlies your choices in training, process and product? I used that definition to start with because I could feel it in myself, and I observed it at work in other people. I know Deborah uses the concept of practice, but who else does? Actually I hear it used a lot lately. Me too, but I think people mean different things by it. Yes. It gets soupy. What do people mean, actually? Im getting more confused now than I was before people used the word so much. I think I hear performing artists and educators use the word three ways, basically. Theres practice as an active thought. Meaning that if my practice is music, I apply the concepts and experience of musicality to analyze and intuit all my experiences. And if my practice is performance, I use the concepts and experience of performance to analyze and intuit my experiences. So that would mean if Im studying dance but my practice is music, I use the concepts and experience of music to analyze and intuit the dance information Im exposed to? Yes. And you see a lot of people approaching dance through a musical practice. In fact, dance can often be found humping the leg of other art forms. Why are you so derogatory about that? Its another topic, but its one of the basic problems in thinking about dance. In order for dance to be taken seriously, its often used to create metaphors for psychology, theory, music, visual art, etc. You would exclude other art forms? No. Id just like to do more dancing. More things based on movement. Movement is a poetic concept as well as an actual thing. Lets talk about this later. Actually you should really talk to Tere OConnor about this. Hes very articulate on the subject, which is rare. Its hard to talk about it. Okay. So whats another way you hear people using the word practice? The other thing people mean by the word practice is an habitual or regular activity. If Im a practicing
musician, I play an instrument regularly. If Im a practicing performer, I perform often. It often means that the person is a professional in that field, but not necessarily. And in that case if Im a musician and studying dance, I could use this definition habitual or regular activity and say that I am practicing dance? If you were a snake charmer and you regularly work as a dentist, you could say you were practicing dentistry. Thats confusing. Theres more. Americans spell the noun and the verb the same way, a practice and to practice. In the British spelling, the verb develops an s. I have a dentistry practice. Im going to my office to practise dentistry. I have a dance practice. Im practising dance. Thats irrelevant. Not really. They mean different things, and theyre spelled differently. Actually I think Ill switch to the British spelling now. The third way I hear it used to try means if I go to the studio to practise my music, I go play my instrument repetitively, or rehearse. If I go to the studio and practise a dance, I rehearse. If Im a student practising dances, it means I keep doing movements until I get them right. You cant practice British spelling. No, you have to practise British spelling. But you can have a British spelling practice. Exactly. Thanks, that clears things up. Youre welcome. The first definition you used for practice, an active thought sounds like the definition of praxis the process by which a theory, lesson or skill is enacted. Is practice and praxis the same thing? Maybe. A practice is an active thought, while praxis is an action that enables that thought. I wish the words sounded more different. Its confusing and that there are so many words that start with P. Makes me feel ridiculous. Thats ridiculous. Stop talking about that. Do you want to not use the word praxis? It exists and I hear it around. Maybe its useful. It does seem like a pretty tangible difference -- an active thought, or an action that enables thought. Seems concrete enough to be relevant. The problem is, I think, that so many thoughts and actions Im interested in cant be identified as one or the other. What do you mean? Is that some Buddhist thing? You know Im not a Buddhist. If theres a relationship its accidental. But you meditate. Thats personal. But its a practice. Okay. But I really would prefer to keep that out of this discussion because Im not sure how to talk about it. I can feel the concrete effects of meditation on how I concentrate, and on the detailing of my sensations, but I think there are spiritual connotations to doing it that I have not dealt with at all and dont know how to deal with, and I dont want to deal with it with you. So I feel unqualified to speak about it right now. All right, all right. Relax. Im sorry I brought it up. So. What do you mean by a thought-action?
And what does it have to do with praxis/practice? So. I often experience both actions and ideas as scores; a movement or performance idea, like an action, can take an amount of time, or can occupy a place. But ideas are also processes. Actions are definitely processes. Scores are durational places. You spend time in a score. How can idea be a place? Any idea I can get in to is a place. Any idea I can embody. Can you give an example? Okay. With apologies to the people that Im paraphrasing, plagiarizing, misrepresenting.... For example, David Zambranos idea/score/practice/action of passing through creates an area of experience that is clearly enough defined to distinguish it as a place. I can drop in there. Sometimes I use the idea of fiction. If I superimpose the idea of fiction on my actions, they are contained and limited by that definition I cant get out of the idea until I drop it. Or Deborah Hays questions that start with what if every cell in my body could.... Or the way Thomas Hauert conceptualizes the relationships between force and space and bodies (I cant find a simpler way to say that yet...). Working with him I can feel the pressure and release, the momentum and force and launching effects of his experience of connection. His way of connecting manifests itself both physically and intellectually. Its not an absolute Truth; its a perception that finds ways to act itself out. And Martin Kilvadys concept of dancing as a field of experience? Exactly. If you say what youre doing is dancing, then you change the definition of dancing. The idea becomes a container that shapes whatever action takes place there, and the actions that take place there also re-shape the container. Jonathan Burrows has a sense of proportion Ive heard him call it human scale that runs through all his work. The idea acts on him. He acts on the idea. Its integrating, but there are things I think he wouldnt do because of this practice/idea/score/action of finding a human scale. Maybe the concepts of praxis and practice are continuous, like a mobius strip. My practice is contained by a praxis but the praxis is also defined by my practice? Yes. Im not sure what the good of distinguishing these words is. The more I think about it the more dangerous it seems to me. Why? Practice becomes static if you separate it from Praxis, and vice versa. Whats wrong with that? Once a practice is static its no longer functional. It becomes a marketable object, a product. Practices have to remain volatile, unstable enough to change. I dont understand how volatility makes something unmarketable. And I dont understand whats wrong with marketability. Im a performing artist. I change I get old, I fall in love, I move to another city, I get injured, I develop skills, I develop knowledge, I lose interest, I get seduced, etc. In order to guide me through training, process and product, my practice has to change. If you can conceive of a
product with no author or owner, you could think of a practice as a chemical reaction that would act as a catalyst on your experience. Yes. And then why would you bother buying it. Its not going to keep the value or shape it has in someone elses experience. And anyway its just there. Just take it. But David sells Passing Through, doesnt he? No. I dont think thats what hes doing. He teaches ways of moving, techniques that hes discovered for passing through. Its a way to start. Hes not selling the practice of passing through, and certainly not the practice in the way that he uses it for himself. He lives that. He invites people to join him in that way of living. Hes often providing people with space or time. They spend it with him and they learn from him, but hes not bartering. Is there really a difference? Yes. Klein Technique tried to become a product at one point. A select group of people went into an intensive studying relationship with the authors of that technique, but when it came down to it, every one of that group of people declined their diploma. They felt that the elitism of qualification, and the labeling of the product as intellectual property, was detrimental to the practice. I think its a testament to the ideas behind that practice that its practitioners refused to make a product out of it. I remember that. It was shocking. Yes, and exciting. It depends on the teacher, of course, but techniques become hard-wired, systematized, standardized. You can recognize the correct application of this technique in a process. You can see how the training and process have culminated in the product and you can anticipate the market theyll reach. Its boring. Its not live. But arent training, process and product part of your practice? Sometimes some of them have been. There are periods where Im involved in processes that are not integrated into my practice, or Im performing pieces that dont fit into my principles, or Im training myself for things that are no longer relevant to me. Out of habit. When I realize thats going on I have to adapt my practice to include them, or I have to stop doing them. For students that happens with training. Yes. They have to study some method that is outside their experience, their principles, their expectations. For example, Im not really that athletic. I dont tend to push myself aerobically or muscularly. My preference is for subtler physicalities, but I perform some pieces demand a higher level of effort, and I like that intensity as a principle. I like the principle of physical range and I like the principle of challenging my desires. So in my daily practice Ive included a kind of jumping that uses that area of physicality that I wouldnt go to usually. And does that practice have to be daily? No. It depends. Sometimes day-to-day consistency helps to heighten your experience of the physical relationships between actions and ideas. Body time is different.
For things like stamina you need a daily rhythm, obviously. Whats the difference between daily training and daily practice? Training is about learning and improving on specific tasks. Deborah, for example, calls practice learning without trying. If youre training, youre trying to learn. Youre goal oriented, or maybe youre putting yourself in that student-teacher relationship to find some objectivity. A practice, for the most part, is independent of teachers, and intensely subjective. It doesnt need the presence of a viewer, although it doesnt exclude it either. I dont think you can specify the goals of a practice the way you can those of training. But youre training for stamina in your daily practice. Not really. I could train for stamina by running much more efficiently. Stamina is a welcome by-product. Im looking for the dancing when I jump rope. No doubt. But some people use training as a part of their practice. Yes. That relationship with a teacher, or even just with a goal, can function to help you keep interested in your work life. I have definitely felt that way at certain times like I needed help to change my patterns so I could do more things. I was getting injured. Training can help with boredom. When I complain my friend Greg says, use your training. And whats the difference between process and practise? Process also has a specific goal. If you dont create a product from a process, its a failed process. Its also a question of duration. Most processes are finished once the piece is constructed. A practice can span many processes. But I definitely use things Ive learned in processes in my daily practice. You said you take other peoples practices. Yes, I realized in working on it that because my practice is performance, I have to do the thing to understand it. Its tricky because I have to learn to listen and watch people without absorbing their experience too quickly into my own if I want to learn something new. But I cant learn new things without doing them. Youre just always stealing then? No. Its actually rare that I really like what someone else does enough to adopt it as part of my own thought process. I do relatively little of what Ive learned. It seems like youve adopted Deborah Hays practice. Yes and no. Im very influenced by her. Shes the first person Id ever heard speak about (and use) performance itself as a practice. So when I talk about performance and practice, I use her language a lot. Its clear. But I take a lot from Thomas/Zoo, and its difficult to find the right language for what were doing in that group. Maybe looking at movement for what it expresses itself, not its metaphoric potential. I learned that as a theory from Tere OConnor, but as a practice from working with Thomas. It runs through everything I do now. Are you defensive about being so influenced by Deborah? Probably a little. Sometimes I feel like what I do is Deborah-Lite. Anyway. Its a place
to start. I try to say her name a lot so people will have her name in their heads. What have you taken from the people in Montpellier? I took things for my daily practice. Im not sure how theyll fit into the larger picture. I took jumping rope from Jefta. It works well as a form of bounce which is an adaptation of moving through space without traveling from here to there, which relates to Passing Through, but also to Zoos work with space, and is a direct adaptation of a Deborah Hay score. I took loops from Mette. I use them in one part of my body as part of a 3in One score I do. From Bojana I think Im learning and maybe practicing thinking in conversation. Im not sure I do that yet, actually, but Im very attracted to it. It has to do with speech and performance and improvising and thinking and writing. Im not sure how it will manifest eventually. If you think of the material of performance as perception, or as relationship (as Deborah would say), then some form of doing it to understand it makes sense. Yes. Thats why I like to think of the daily practices, the PPPs, as small, condensed metaphoric versions of your larger practice. They are microclimates in the larger environment of your eco-system. You can experiment safely there. I really learned that from Deborah. Thats how she makes pieces, developing them out of her daily performance practice. I do take a lot from Deborah. I feel like the learning without trying happened in this interview, for example. Oh. I just thought of something. Maybe the difference thats actually important is the difference between a practice and my practice. Once something becomes your practice, its infinitely more complicated than it was when it was something you could pick up from someone else. It becomes implicated in all your work, all aspects of training, process and product, and if you tried to separate it out you would kill it, or kill a part of yourself. Thats a bit dramatic. Drowning your inner kitten. But maybe its that simple also. Yes, and its funny because Ive been noticing that writing is a way of making sense, which is what performance does for me. And thinking in conversation...? Not yet. Im just attracted to it. I cant quite do it... More training. Bojana calls the attention that passes between an audience and a performance synchronizing with the duration of what youre watching. Yes. I like that. Writing can synchronize. Writing can be a performance practice. Then performance could still be your practice, even if you never performed. Is that a goal? No. I dont know. Maybe. Is it for you? I think it might be for me actually. Oh, okay. Good luck. Thanks.Esse texto eu tirei de um site chamado Everybodys tool box, eh bemmm bacana!