thegoodfellas/blogset-br huggingface dataset:
youbare, made you show yourself and share yourself, while you just prayed it woulddo some good. That it would be for something. That you would have a piece ofthe other person in return. Not all of it, just something. She stared at him again, wishing he would say something. Come on, Gale, wake upand ask me to stay. Just promise you will try and I can live with that. Itsalready a start. Please, do not make me walk away. He didnt open his eyes ormove at all. Jasmine didnt know how he could lie so peacefully when they werehanging on the edge of a cliff. Ill be the one if you want me to... She looked around, at the room that was not her own.Gale didnt have a roommate, so from the start he hadnt had problems to keephis privacy. She had spent so much time there, but she never had feltcomfortable. He hadnt wanted her to be. Rarely had they slept together. Theywould have sex, oh yeah, sex they had. Adventurous, fast, sweet, aggressive,kind, hard, all kinds. And then it would be over, and he would close up more andmore as the time passed by, until she understood it was time to go. He had never asked her to leave, but he had neverasked her to stay either. Every time he would walk her to the door, and kiss herso deeply that she would each time get her hopes up that that night wouldfinally be the night, but then he would let her go and say Bye, have a goodnights sleep, or See you, beautiful, or Goodnight, doll. And she wouldget back to reality, mumble something without really knowing what she had said,and go. Every time she had thought it was their last time together, that he hadgot his share of her. But for some reason, this had not happened yet. Hey... Jasmine startled, turning around to see that he waswatching her. Knowing eyes. She was the most see-through person on the planet.She hadnt had a problem with that until now. You all right? She nodded, looking away. Just a headache. I have aspirin if you want to... No, thats ok. Its getting better already. She gavehim a small smile, lay down again and closed her eyes. She was not always like that. It would be impossibleto keep up the thing they had if she got emotional all the time. It was justthat her best friend had gotten engaged. She had been so full of happiness whenshe told her, like if she could face the whole world now and win. She probablycould. She had been so happy for her, but she had been so sad at the same time.Not jealous, just wishful. She also wanted that pure, marvelous happiness thatyou felt when you knew you were loved back. Anywhere I would have followed you... When she felt his lips on her shoulder, she opened hereyes again. She couldnt have stopped her heart from racing even if her lifedepended on it. He stroke her arm and asked suggestively. Wanna amassage? You know
you like my massages. Her lips curved and a tear dropped from her eye ontothe pillow. Whats it not to like? Ouch. Jasmine shook her head and noticed the watch onthe bedside table: it was 2 a.m. I guess I can go already. Lily and her girlfriendare probably sleeping. She started to get up, but Gale took her arm. Maybethey arent and you will interrupt something. I can make your head better. Infact... He pushed her gently on the bed again and started kissing her neck. I can makeyour whole body better. He could have made her heart better if he had saidthat he wanted her to stay. Come on, Jas. Dont you think Im good medicine? Hetook her face in his hands and kissed her nose. He had noticed she was not okay and probably knew why.She had mentioned her friend was getting married and he had rolled his eyes,wondering why people still insisted on that. She had answered bitterly Maybebecause they love each other. Marriage is not for everybody, but it is stillfor some people. He had smirked in a sarcastic way and nodded. There were sometimes she wondered why she liked him. Sex was Gales way to convince her to stop being sodamn emotional and roll on with it. It was not exactly working, but her bodyresponded to him too fast and too often. He stared at her eyes, waiting for her to grin and nodand become Jasmine again. She didnt do it. They kept looking at each other for a long time. Theyhad barely an inch between their faces and even so, Jasmine couldnt read hiseyes at all. The more she stared, the less she knew. And Im feeling so small Im still learning to love Just starting to crawl... She reached behind him, holding and rubbing the backof his neck. Sex with him was the only thing she understood. She was starting tothink it was the only thing they had. The only thing they would ever have. She pulled him toward her and immediately Gale leanedin, touching her lips with his. The following part was easy. They had dancedthis rhythm too many times before and knew the steps by heart. Some times he had led,other times she had. They had always got the steps right though. He undressed her with little effort, and he slipped inside her with even lesser effort. This I know. Not the rest. This is easy.The rest is not. Every time they made love, it was like they wereconnected not only by their bodies, but also by the breathing, the thoughts, andthe touches. They had really good chemistry. The best, everybody said so. Whenthey were together sparks flew. Did it matter? Gale took her hand, intertwined their fingers, healways did that when he felt the pleasure building too high. He pressed hislips to her temple, breathing against her cheek, murmuring against her ear. Sheknew he would do that before he did it. Iknow you too well, and I dont know you at all. He smiled against her skin, a grin she knew was
halfmischievous half gentle; his other hand coming between them, against her, spinningthe world even more, making everything even hotter, making her even madder. Shegasped his name. Her eyes watered again. The little fuckers slipping against her cheeks, accusingher thoughts, her feelings, her decision. She wasnt sure he noticed. Shewasnt sure he cared. He held her while she trembled, while she tried to catchher breath and stop the tears. He held her for a long time after that, strokingher side and her arms and her belly he paid more attention to the bellycause he knew she was ticklish, they had that in common -, kissing herforehead, her nose, her cheeks, her mouth. He liked sleeping with her. He likedit too much. Thats why he rarely did it. He slept. She felt it as soon as he did. She had notclosed her eyes. And she knew she wouldnt. The hours passed. She turned herhead, checked the clock: 6 a.m. Gale had an internal clock, he would soon wakeup. She took a deep breath; her hand was still buried in his hair. She lovedstroking his hair. He was lying almost on top of her, he liked to spreadhimself around when he slept, and it was difficult to get up because of that,but she did. Jasmine quickly put her clothes on, not caring to brush her hair.She did the last things she had to and she walked to the door. She wouldntlook back. She wouldnt. Of course she did. She was not that strong. His lips were parted and moving; on the few times theyhad slept together, he had mumbled in his sleep. She crossed the room, leanedagainst him and touched his lips with her finger. Then his chin, the place onhis right cheek where his dimple appeared when he grinned, his nose, his leftear, his closed eyes. She told herself she would look at him for one moreminute. Just one more. She bit her lip. His chest rose and fell. Rose and fell.Rose and fell. His eyelids flurried. Roseand fell. Rose and fell. She was absolutely fascinated with his breathing. Love,nothing could make you as much pathetic. Or as much broken. Her minute was up. Youre the one that I love And Im saying goodbye... Somethingswrong. Gale opened his eyes. Jasmine? Of course he knew she was not there. He always knewwhen she was in a room. And she wasnt. He got up. He was naked but it didntmean a thing. He went to the bathroom, expecting to be pissed because the damntoothbrush she always forgot to take back would be standing next to his. But it wasnt. He stared at the empty space for a long time, clearedhis throat. She had remembered that time. He went to take a piss, gettingirritated. She did not have to make a statement leaving before he woke up, hehad known she was pretty mad last night but it was not as if he could dosomething about it. Oh well, actually he had done, four times and with sixorgasms, fuck you very much. Damn it! Fuck this. He didnt
understand why the fuck he was so mad, buthe had the right. He assumed he had the right. He would just take a damn showerand calm the fuck down. And go talk to her. Oh, well, damn it all to hell. He reached for the shelves beside the mirror andnoticed he had forgotten to buy soap the day before. Again. He groaned. He would just use the soap Jasmine kept in the damn bag of necessities she insisted ontaking with her everywhere she went... He reached for it next the faucet butit wasnt there. She must have taken it with her. No big deal. Hesaid firmly to himself. He couldnt take a decent shower without some damnsoap. He didnt have any coffee also, because the last time Jasmine had boughtit for him, he had gotten mad about it, and now he had forgotten to buy, andthen he would have to start the day without a damn cup of coffee... Why the fuck had she gone? He pick up his pants from the floor, searching throughits pockets for his cell phone, and putting the jeans on. He called her; itrang and rang and rang, making him even more anxious and irritated. Hey, youreached Jasmine. You can leave a... Oh, well, youre smart and you know what todo. Ill call back... If I wanted to leave a damn message, I would text,damn it! He called her room; he wasnt sure what was thehurry, but he needed to talk to her right that very minute. Do you know what time it is? Lily answered in agrumpy voice. Its Gale. Put Jasmine on the phone, please. Oh, its you. Asshole. I was sleeping. And shes nothere. Lily, Im not in the mood. I need to talk to Jasmineright now. Lily yawned. Have you tried her cell? Gale cursed. Do you think Im a moron? I guess you dont want me to answer that. Put her on the fucking phone. When she noticed he was a bit desperate, she took adeep breath. Look, Im serious. Shes not here. Maybe she went for a walk orsomething. Have you two had a fight? No! It certainly seems so. When she comes back, tell her to call me. Yeah, fine. No, youre not getting it. Ill be waiting. You tellher Ill be waiting. Fine, Gale. Ill tell her to call you. Can I go backto sleep now? Yeah... Yeah. Thanks. **Lily pressed a finger to her temple and stared atJasmine, from across the room. He says hes waiting for you to call him. And thats always been the problem. Oh, well, technically, he called you first. Lilypointed out. Jasmine shook her head, lay down on the bed and stared at theceiling. Her girlfriend Layla raised an eyebrow at her. She sighed. Jas, youknow Im one hundred percent on your side. And you should have ended thingslong before this. Gale is not worth it. I know. She whispered. Layla shook her head in disappointment. Lily cursed.Hell, Im not good at this stuff. Layla got up, went to Jasmines bed and cupped
hercheek. You want some pancakes, sweetie? Ill go buy some. No, thanks, Layla. Im not hungry. Did I mention I was going out for chocolatepancakes? Jasmine smiled sadly. I adore you. Thats all they say. ** She had not called back. Gale had known she wouldnt. Hehad known as soon as he had got off the phone with Lily and noticed the smallnote lying on the bed. He remembered how it had been difficult to walk those stepstoward it. He had sat down, he had taken thenote, and he had crushed it with his hand. Be happy. She was not being ironic orcruel. That was not Jasmine. What she said, she meant it. What she wrote, shemeant it. He knew that. Thats why as soon as he read it, his anger faded away.He had forgotten it was Jasmine. It was over. He had understoodthat, even with only two words. Jasmine was probably in her room. Lily hadprobably lied to him. Scratch the probably. It was just a damn mess. Thats why he had wanted to stayfriends. Thats why he had insisted on staying friends. But she had gone andstarted tempting him, because she wanted him and she was going to get him. Shedid. And she complicated the whole thing and now he was going to have to staywithout her. Why did she have to complicatethe whole thing? He pressed his fingers againsthis eyes. Damn it, Jasmine. He lay down, knowing he waslooking ridiculous, and then knowing nothing at all because he felt her scenton the pillow. He hadnt wanted her scent on his pillow. I didnt want any of this. Ididnt. He stared at the door. The damndoor. The note, the small piece of paper, felt heavy on his hand, but not heavierthan his heart. A CHOICE.
seiva, acreditando assim que retardaria seu processo de envelhecimento e morte.Porem o que ocorreu nao era o que ele esperava... Nao podendo mais penetrar em seu coracao, mas mesmo assim amando-o, a seiva da arvore mae comecou a cobrir aquele pequeno broto exteriormente, como se buscasse protege-lo...Camada apos camada a seiva foi cobrindo o pequeno broto, que foi se tornando maior, porem sem alterar seu interior. Cada remessa de seiva de sua mae tornava-se uma nova camada a encerra-lo dentro de si mesmo.Nao se sabe ao certo quanto tempo passou, nem quantas remessas de seiva ele recebeu, o que se sabe e que, em determinado momento, a conexao que o ligava a sua mae se desfez.Aquele ser caiu de onde estava e foi parar no chao escuro da floresta. Viu a sua volta uma escuridao que so uma noite sem luar pode proporcionar.Enfim percebeu o que havia feito. Sentiu uma imensa vergonha.Procurou envolver-se em uma folha seca que encontrou no chao para disfarcar sua nudez e enfiou-se na terra afim de esconder um pouco sua miseria.Assim surgiu a cebola, do que outrora deveria ser uma frondosa e suculenta maca.Suas varias camadas ainda cobrem seu velho broto que hoje mal existe. Mas se o procurarmos com cuidado, ainda poderemos encontra-lo, escondido em seu centro...Para nos lembrar de sua pobre desdita, a cebola nos faz chorar toda vez que despimos sua casca.Pois o despir-se causa grande dor, mas e a unica forma de penetrarmos em nosso imo.Esse choro sempre nos remetera as nossas proprias cascas e nos fara lembrar da seiva do criador...Que como ela, um dia negamos...
Sou viciado em querer...Quero tudo do meu jeito!Sou viciado em descansar...Me coloco a disposicao apenas quando desejo alcancar algo com isso.Minha natureza e egoista. Fazer o que? Pra que tentar mudar?Nao e muito mais comodo continuar achando que o mundo deve me servir?Eu, o rei de tudo e de todos, o ser dotado da melhor percepcao da vida. Dotado das melhores qualidades possiveis. Sou tao preparado para lidar com o mundo que simplesmente tenho que ter minha opiniao sobre tudo.Com um pensamento, um olhar, uma careta, uma atitude ou ate mesmo forcando outros a fazer o que desejo.E o melhor para eles, penso eu. De que outra maneira as coisas deveriam acontecer? Como conceber solucoes diferentes das que eu carrego?Nao e me impossivel ver algo alem de mim mesmo?Carrego tres macacos comigo...O cego que acredita que enxerga, o surdo que acha que ouve e o mudo que acha que tem algo util para falar. Passado...Arranco de seus bracos a certeza, a estabilidade e a alegria.Mas nao desamparo o coracao justo. O olhar puro e uma mente serena.As lembrancas serao duras, mas a vitoria e certa.Presente.Forca. De onde vens?Filha da persistencia, cujo pai e a determinacao.Rompe todos os grilhoes e faz dobrar o que nao podia ser dobrado.Futuro!Adversidades cairao, e a tormenta passara, se acalmara...Mas nao sem antes garantir seu quinhao.Eis que vitoria e alcancada... ela repousa no simples volver-se a mirar o passado. Naqueles tempos longinquos, o comercio era vital para a sobrevivencia das varias tribos nomades.Uma cabaca de agua por exemplo, poderia ter peso de ouro, dependendo das condicoes em que as pessoas se encontravam.Havia um comerciante conhecido por toda aquela arida regiao. Seu nome era Odassap. Como filho mais velho de um pastor de ovelhas, ele esteve acostumado a uma vida dura.Aprendeu desde cedo com seu pai a usar o leite e o queijo que produziam de suas cabras como moeda de troca para adquirir os mais diversos produtos: Tecidos, Paes e diversos objetos que eram trazidos pelos viajantes que constantemente cruzavam a regiao.Seu pai lhe ensinara que cada gota de leite produzida por suas cabras era um imenso tesouro, pois delas provinha seu sustento e a vida para muitos viajantes famintos.Com o passar de alguns veroes, o jovem Odassap acabou sucedendo seu pai nos cuidados com suas terras.Habilidoso com as palavras e com rapido raciocinio, Odassap percebeu que quanto mais bem trajado estava o viajante que passava por suas terras, menos ele estaria disposto a pagar um preco justo pelos seus produtos. Logo entendeu que o contrario tambem acontecia...Ocorreu que um dia, quando estava negociando com um arauto de uma comitiva de um nobre povo ocidental, sentiu-se explorado, pois teve que abaixar muito seu preco.Odassap muito relutou, mas acabou cedendo.... no fundo muito lhe irritou tamanha tagarelice e insistencia daquele homem.Esse episodio viria a mudar a forma como Odassap enxergaria suas futuras negociacoes.Buscava sempre obter uma compensacao por aquela negociacao, que pelo seu ponto de vista, fora malfeita. Todos os viajantes que chegavam a suas terras acabavam tendo que deixar mais do que o justo em produtos e quinhoes
com medo que algo ficasse perdido em meio a areia. E elas formaram um pequeno monte em meio aquele deserto. Toda a sua carga, posses e tesouros, ali serviam para que ele pudesse escala-las e tentasse enxergar um pouco mais longe.Mas o que adianta enxergar mais longe no meio de um deserto se nao ha um ponto de referencia para fixar o olhar?Odassap entao sentou. Como um sultao no alto de seu tesouro... O pouco de agua que ainda lhe restava estava acabando e ele logo estaria a merce de sua propria sorte.Ele pensava que, como estava em uma rota mercante, logo seria resgatado. Teria ate que dispor de parte de seu tesouro ao negociar um transporte, mas com suas habilidades, o faria por preco infimo.Ao cair da noite adormeceu, se acomodando em meio a tecidos finos e suaves ao toque, vindos do outro lado do mundo... ao acordar no outro dia, tomou seu ultimo gole de agua e comeu o que restava de suas provisoes.Achou estranho aquele caminho ainda estar tao deserto, porem se lembrou que, devido ao alto preco que ele cobrava, muitos viajantes agora evitavam aquela regiao, desviando por outras terras.Ele se desesperou com esse pensamento. E se nao passasse ninguem por ali? Como carregaria sozinho seu caro tesouro? Mesmo que decidisse retroceder ou avancar, como faria isso sozinho com tao pesada carga?Entao, naquele momento, pela primeira vez cogitou a possibilidade de abandonar sua carga. Porem tinha muito medo, pois teria que recomecar sua vida do zero. Perderia todo o seu poderio, nao teria mais servos, abriria mao de seu conforto, sua seguranca e suas tao caras certezas.Ficaria nu em meio a um deserto, cujo sol insistia em brilhar, queimando agora toda a sua antiga presuncao.Enfim cedeu. E pos-se a caminhar na direcao de sua terra natal, onde esperava encontrar ao menos um gole de agua. Porem apos dar dez passos, eis que fitou no horizonte um pequeno comboio. Estava salvo!Essa pequena visao lhe fez voltar atras e ele escalou novamente sua carga e vestiu toda a altivez que ainda lhe restava para esperar a chegada de seus salvadores.Eis que a poucos metros de distancia, ocorreu o mutuo reconhecimento. Odassap viu o pequeno oriental que logo veio em sua direcao. Odassap ficou desesperado. Logo ele dentre todos os viajantes estava tomando aquela rota, naquele exato dia?O pequeno homem entao se aproximou, fazendo uma reverencia de forma comica para Odassap.- O nobre sultao, que prazer temos em encontra-lo novamente! Gostaria de adquirir um pouco de leite, porem julgo que nao possui nenhum, pois caso tivesse, haveria de ter umedecido esses labios tao ressecados.Odassap ficou em silencio, ainda tentando ostentar alguma autoridade. Sem mais delongas o homem falou novamente.- Eis a minha proposta. Uma cabaca de agua e uma montaria por essa sua montanha de quinquilharias.Odassap apenas pode balbuciar...- Absurdo, poderia comprar um oasis todo e mil montarias com o que possuo sob meus pes!O homem entao lhe sorriu.- Nao quer comprar sua vida por preco tao vil?- Essa e minha oferta final. Resolva, pois tenho pressa. Esse sol escaldante nos
mata um pouco a cada respiracao. Mas nao preciso lhe dizer isso, voce ja o esta sentindo por si so.Odassap, perto de desfalecer, ainda conseguiu agua suficiente para umedecer os olhos, mas logo acabou por descer de sua carga e apanhar com voracidade a cabaca de agua que lhe era oferecida.- Venha, aqui esta sua montaria. Por acaso estamos seguindo para sua terra natal. Es livre para nos acompanhar, se for de seu agrado.E Odassap nao teve nem energia para pensar. Subiu em sua montaria a se alinhou a caravana que ja partia em direcao ao oriente.Apos alguns passos Odassap notou que sua antiga carga nem ao menos fora tocada e que estava sendo deixada intacta para tras. Virou entao para o homem e perguntou:- Voces que me venderam uma cabaca de agua e uma montaria a preco tao alto, nao se darao ao trabalho de ao menos vasculhar minha antiga carga para encontrar algo que lhes possa ser util?E o homem, sorrindo ternamente, respondeu:- Um povo de viajantes muito antigo nos somos. Muita experiencia na travessia do deserto nos temos. E aprendemos que e com pouco que se caminha ligeiro. Quem tem muito, muito tem a perder. Nos nao queremos ter nada a perder. Quem tem algo a perder, vive preocupado em se proteger. Mas o unico pensamento de quem quer atravessar o deserto deve ser o de chegar ao seu destino. Qualquer outro objetivo ou preocupacao e uma carga que significa estagnacao e morte. - De antemao sabiamos que nao teriamos condicoes de levar nada, pois ja estamos preenchidos do necessario. Mas tivemos que negociar com voce, isto e, vence-lo em seu proprio jogo para faze-lo entender que estavas a carregar um peso inutil.- Agradeca a oportunidade de abandonar sua carga e, se for de seu agrado, nos ofereca um pouco de leite em suas terras. Pagaremos o preco costumeiro.E dessa vez foi Odassap quem sorriu... um sorriso que nao pousava em seus labios ha muito... muito tempo.