thegoodfellas/blogset-br huggingface dataset:
Wow it's already the middle of the year, I hate how fast time goes by. But it's not like I have any plans for what to do with my life, I think I've come to the realization that even if I could live a pretty good life if I worked on myself and worked hard to become a functioning person and transition but that's not the life I want to live. Not transitioning is not the life I want to live either, don't get me wrong. The life from my dreams is the only life I want to live, safe for shorter fantasy-themed daydreams.The closest thing to a goal I have right now is that I'm planning to live until my late twenties and then killing myself. I'll probably have not achieved nothing by then but I have media I want to consume and things I want to keep up. Some are artists I want to see grow and be happy. It sounds silly but they give me so much hapiness, to know they're hardworking and earnest kids that had so many dreams and achieved some of them.It makes me happy knowing not everyone has to be a miserable piece of shit like me. At the same time I have a hard time believing life doesn't turn to shit once you get older, and that even in my dream life I'd be severely depressed as I grew older. Maybe I'm a bit jaded because that's what I see on my personal life with the people around me, relatives, coworkers, etc.Still I would have liked to have a happy youth, travel, meet people, fall in love. Even if in my ideal life I'd get depressed at least I'd have real memories to things that actually happened to look back to, and by being famous maybe I'd get to live through people's memories and imagination for a long time after my death.I'm in near constant emotional pain but every now and then I have a moment where I realize there's no espacing my life, that the life I dream so much about will never happen, and it kills me. I always say I'm clinging to one small hope of being able to have a happy life as myself in the future, but I'm pretty sure that hope is gone now. I can't see myself transitioning successfully, ever. I'll just stay as I am, living a mediocre life as a man while living in my head to try to make myself feel better. I can't even browse trans forums without getting angry at all the 13-17 year olds getting support from their parents and have a chance I'll never have.Even if I transition I'll never have anyone's support. And even if my parents would support me now I'll never forgive them for the way they handled things since I came out. The way they ignored my pain and did the absolute least so they can say they tried and now it's all on me. This could have been a opportunity to bring us together and
makes us a stronger family. Even if they were to tell me tomorrow that they support me and will help me out with everything I don't think I'll ever want a actual relationship with them beside being cordial with each other.They always bragged with others on how much of a amazing kid I was, that I was smart, polite, never got into trouble. The one time I become "troubled"I get zero support and harsh words. Reading past entries I still can't believe some of the shit I've heard from them on their many hissy fits. I opened up to them and got nothing in return. They still act clueless and just complain about how emotionless I am or how I lack drive.My brother didn't show much support, he's not transphobic but he had a immature reaction to me coming out, makes jokes from time to time that hurt my feelings and sometimes will jokingly try to get my mother angry at me, even though he's aware of all the problems we have. Sometimes when I'm talking he'll roll his eyes or just be plain rude for no reason.At least I can say I was a happy kid until I was 14ish, and of course my mother loves to throw that in my face and wonder why I am the way I am today. My parents are difficult people to live with, you have to walk in eggshells everyday and hope you don't set them off, so I'd probably have a shitty relationship with them even if I was cis.Sometimes I want to make a huge coming out facebook post just to get them angry, and so that if I kill myself people will know the reason. I wonder what bullshit excuse they would use if that happened, and how much they would claim they tried their best to help me only for people to comfort them that they have no blame, etc.I wish I was brave enough to at least attempt suicide with pill overdose. I'll get to be on the hospital for a while, in a shared room though. They would probably make it all about themselves, my father would finally get me in that past memories bullshit therapy he's dying to get me in. My mother would take any opportunity to use it to hurt me in arguments and my brother would joke about it. And then things would go back to how they are now.
Got my last project before graduating, haven't even started even though I have less than a month to do it. I'm getting more and more caught up in my fantasy world instead of trying to do something. A few days ago I started to think something to myself, like how cool is that I got to visit this and that country, only to realize that's something from my dream world. It never happened in real life and it never will.I'm not sure how long I can take knowing I'll never live that life, that everyday is going to be a disappointment, I'll never have the looks I want, the job, the life, anything. Knowing everyday I'll wake up miserable, ugly, fat, toothless, balding, with crocodile skin and no accomplishments. I'll just keep getting older and even fatter and ugglier.I really wish I could just die already, my life is only getting worse, there's no fixing it and I don't want to stick around to find out what kind of pathetic looser I'll become. I was just thinking of time passing, in the few pictures I have on my facebook there are a couple I took with my teachers in 2012 and it is so weird to think how in those pictures I was 16, soon to be 17, and now I'm 21. Ended up checking the facebook and instagram of this girl I met on a fanpage, she is a model, travels, has a boyfriend and seems to have a pretty nice life.I've lost so many years, it kills me to know we're in 2017 already, I feel like I stopped in 2012/2013. I feel like a old loser. I'll graduate in a few weeks and I'm dreading it, I hate how I look, the last thing I want is to be in a social situation like that.I don't want to lose more years, but I can't see myself in a better place, improving and learning to be happy. It doesn't matter if I transition or not, I'll be the same mediocre, miserable waste of space, never the person I wish I was. At this point I just want to be left alone to rot in my bedroom. So I've been watching this on repeat for almost a hour or maybe more while listening to Madeleine Peyroux, Ella Fitzgerald, Joni Mitchell, etc and it's just a continuation of my last post with more of my usual pathetic complains. It just hit me I'll never have that, that first pure love, the perfect life I want, no matter how many time I waste daydreaming and wishing so hard for it to come true one day, it will never will. I wonder if I'll ever be able to let go of those fantasies, reality is ugly and I'm afraid I'll never embrace it.The daydreams will never be enough, I can't fully create a life in my head, specially the one I want to live. They might hold me back and prevent me from doing anything, but what is worth in life without them? I
don't want to transitions and end up ugly, depressed and not well adjusted. I don't want to hear people's nasty opinions about me, I don't want to have a mediocre life looking like trash.I want to stop the pain, I can't stand being numb all day only to get a rush of anxiety at night. I want to break things, I want to cry for hours, yell as loud as I can for as long as I can, I want to say things I've been holding back, I want to explode and fly away.I used to be happy, I had such a happy childhood, why do I have to be like this now? I wish I had a happy early adulthood at least. I want life to be exciting and happy, I don't want to have such a awful view of the world, I'm tired of feeling like this all the time. I'm tired of obsessing over things and people to fill my pathetic life with some meaning. I'm tired of having the body I have with all it's flaws. How long will I be able to handle everything if the bad outweigh the good. I don't want to feel like this until I die, but I don't think I'm strong enough to fight, I always give up if things are too hard, I have no confidence in myself, I'm lazy. What's point of existing if this is how I'm supposed to feel.I can't stop thinking about time passing, about how meaningless and claustrophobic the universe is and how after I die I'll return to nothing as if all of my life never even happened. Why can't I have a normal happy life where I never have those thoughts. I hate myself for sometimes thinking that maybe that's how everyone is supposed to feel and I can't stand it, it's such a smug stupid though. As if I needed more reasons to hate myself and be unlikable to people.But I'm a idiot who will continue to live my life the same way until I die. I'll keep hiding in my head, living through my daydreams until I get murdered, run over by a car, have a heart attack, etc. Everybody sees me as fat sack of meat with no personality that's just a burden to people and I should be ashamed of myself. I feel like a parasite. I want to stop existing but I don't want to die. I don't add a thing to the world by being alive.But don't worry that despite being suicidal I'll never kill myself, beside of being afraid of death, as I said, I'm lazy and quit when things start to get difficult, so that's never happening. I hate being somewhat a stereotype but sometimes I wish I'd just take a bunch a pills so I'd have to be taken to the hospital.That probably would only give me more problems but at least it would be something new. Unlike this post which is a variation of all my recent posts complaining about the same things. I'm
tired of being myself and having to deal with my bullshit everyday. At least it's raining now and I have no classes tomorrow (don't get me started on the whole "have no idea what to do for my last project/4 years went by so fast/didn't lived college life to the fullest/made no friends/don't want it to be over/etc/etc/etc) so I'll try to have a nice night of sleep.If there's something I wish more than anything is that when you die you go to live in a lucid dream. You can live out all your fantasies, and take some "time" to rest in between. At least all my suffering would have a pay off and I'd have something to look forward to that would make me happy again for the first time in years.
I barely left the house for the past few months, it's kinda what I always wanted but at the same time I start freaking out about my future, I heard people will take in consideration how long you went without a job when they hire you.I'm stuck in a fantasy world in my head where I'm my ideal self, I have a cute boyfriend and we live happily. It's a new guy this time around, a singer instead of an actor. He's younger than me too, that's a first. I don't think I'll write the name this time since this is embarrassing and pathetic as fuck.There are times that life seems so real, like real life is the dream and that one is the reality. I almost feel at peace about everything because I think how it doesn't matter how pathetic and worthless my life is now, because it's not my real life. But then I snap out of it and feel like shit.I'm tired of life and being in pain all the time. I want to fall asleep and never wake up. Turno da manha14/09 4a feira turmas 201 8:30 202 9:00 301 9:3015/09 5a feira turmas 101 8:30 102 9:00 103 9:3016/09 6a feira turmas 71 8:30 72 8:55 81 9:20 82 9:45Dia 24 de setembro, sabado: entrega de boletins. O horario sera divulgado em breve (sera no turno da manha). DATAS1 - Quando serao feitas as inscricoes para o Enem 2011?Das 10h do dia 23 de maio ate 23h59 do dia 10 de junho, observado o horario oficial de Brasilia-DF.2 - Quando sera a aplicacao das provas do Enem 2011?Nos dias 22 e 23 de outubro de 2011, com inicio as 13h, horario oficial de Brasilia-DF, em todas as unidades da Federacao. INSCRICOES3 - Qual o valor da taxa de inscricao?Para os inscritos pagantes a taxa e de R$ 35,00 (trinta e cinco reais). Ela devera ser paga por meio de GRU simples (boleto), gerado no ato de inscricao. O boleto pode ser reimpresso durante todo o periodo de inscricoes, e deve ser pago ate o dia 13/06. Caso contrario, a inscricao nao sera efetivada.4 - Quem esta isento do pagamento da taxa?Todos aqueles que estiverem concluindo o ensino medio em 2011 em escola publica sao automaticamente isentos. Nos demais casos, o participante pode pleitear isencao de taxa declarando-se pertencente a familia de baixa renda. O pedido de isencao do pagamento da taxa somente podera ser solicitado por meio do sistema de inscricao.5 - Havera atendimento diferenciado a participantes com necessidades especiais?Sim, desde que o participante nessas condicoes informe suas necessidades especiais no ato na inscricao. Eles deverao dispor dos documentos comprobatorios, que poderao ser solicitados pelo Inep a qualquer momento.6 - Estudantes de classes hospitalares poderao fazer o Enem 2011?Sim. Para isso e fundamental que essa informacao seja prestada no ato da inscricao. O participante nessa situacao devera dispor dos documentos comprobatorios, que poderao ser solicitados pelo Inep a qualquer momento.7 - E os guardadores do sabado?O sabatista tera sua condicao respeitada. Para tanto, e indispensavel que solicite,
de 18 anos que ainda nao terminaram a escolarizacao basica podem participar do Enem e pleitear a certificacao no ensino medio junto a uma das instituicoes que aderem ao processo secretarias estaduais de educacao, os institutos federais e os centros federais. A lista das instituicoes conveniadas esta no edital.38 - Como sera realizada a certificacao de conclusao do ensino medio por meio do Enem?No ato da inscricao o participante deve indicar a instituicao certificadora onde ira solicitar a certificacao para fins de conclusao do ensino medio. As instituicoes que firmaram Acordo de Cooperacao Tecnica para esse fim estao listadas no Edital. A definicao dos procedimentos para certificacao e responsabilidade das instituicoes certificadoras39 - A Instituicao certificadora esta relacionada ao local de residencia do participante?Nao. A escolha da instituicao certificadora pelo participante implica na concessao de autorizacao ao Inep para o envio de dados e notas obtidas para a Instituicao Certificadora escolhida , entre as listadas no Anexo I do Edital. 40 - E o Inep que emite o certificado de conclusao do ensino medio?Nao. O Inep apenas encaminha os resultados para a Instituicao escolhida pelo participante, para fins de certificacao, de acordo com os criterios, diretrizes e procedimentos definidos em regulamentacao especifica das instituicoes.41 - Para o acesso a educacao superior, os participantes poderao utilizar os resultados do Enem 2010?Sim. Os resultados do Enem 2010 poderao ser utilizados como mecanismo unico, alternativo ou complementar de acesso a Educacao Superior, bastando para tanto a adesao por parte das Instituicoes de Educacao Superior (IES).42 - O que acontece quando, no ato da inscricao, o participante faz a opcao por se inscrever tambem em programa governamental e em processo seletivo de ingresso a educacao superior? Automaticamente, o participante dara o seu formal consentimento para a disponibilizacao das suas notas e informacoes, incluindo as do questionario socioeconomico. Dessa forma, o Inep podera encaminhar os dados e resultados dos participante do Enem a Secretaria de Educacao Superior do Ministerio da Educacao (Sesu/MEC) e as Instituicoes de Educacao Superior publicas ou privadas, de acordo com os criterios, diretrizes e procedimentos definidos em regulamentacao especifica de cada ente.43 - O Inep fornece atestado e certidoes?Nao. O Inep nao fornecera atestados, certificados ou certidoes relativas a classificacao ou nota dos participantes.
"Como Vencer a Pobreza e a desigualdade"REDACAO DE ESTUDANTE CARIOCA VENCE CONCURSO DA UNESCO COM 50.000 PARTICIPANTESTema:'Como vencer a pobreza e a desigualdade'Por Clarice Zeitel Vianna SilvaUFRJ - Universidade Federal do Rio de Janeiro - Rio de Janeiro - RJ'PATRIA MADRASTA VIL'Onde ja se viu tanto excesso de falta? Abundancia de inexistencia. .. Exagero de escassez... Contraditorios? ? Entao ai esta! O novo nome do nosso pais! Nao pode haver sinonimo melhor para BRASIL. Porque o Brasil nada mais e do que o excesso de falta de carater, a abundancia de inexistencia de solidariedade, o exagero de escassez de responsabilidade. O Brasil nada mais e do que uma combinacao mal engendrada - e friamente sistematizada - de contradicoes. Ha quem diga que 'dos filhos deste solo es mae gentil.', mas eu digo que nao e gentil e, muito menos, mae. Pela definicao que eu conheco de MAE, o Brasil esta mais para madrasta vil. A minha mae nao 'tapa o sol com a peneira'. Nao me daria, por exemplo, um lugar na universidade sem ter-me dado uma bela formacao basica.E mesmo ha 200 anos atras nao me aboliria da escravidao se soubesse que me restaria a liberdade apenas para morrer de fome. Porque a minha mae nao iria querer me enganar, iludir. Ela me daria um verdadeiro Pacote que fosse efetivo na resolucao do problema, e que contivesse educacao + liberdade + igualdade. Ela sabe que de nada me adianta ter educacao pela metade, ou te-la aprisionada pela falta de oportunidade, pela falta de escolha, acorrentada pela minha voz-nada-ativa. A minha mae sabe que eu so vou crescer se a minha educacao gerar liberdade e esta, por fim, igualdade. Uma segue a outra... Sem nenhuma contradicao! E disso que o Brasil precisa: mudancas estruturais, revolucionarias, que quebrem esse sistema-esquema social montado; mudancas que nao sejam hipocritas, mudancas que transformem!A mudanca que nada muda e so mais uma contradicao. Os governantes (as vezes) dao uns peixinhos, mas nao ensinam a pescar. E a educacao libertadora entra ai. O povo esta tao paralisado pela ignorancia que nao sabe a que tem direito. Nao aprendeu o que e ser cidadao. Porem, ainda nos falta um fator fundamental para o alcance da igualdade: nossa participacao efetiva; as mudancas dentro do corpo burocratico do Estado nao modificam a estrutura. As classes media e alta - tao confortavelmente situadas na piramide social - terao que fazer mais do que reclamar (o que so serve mesmo para aliviar nossa culpa)... Mas estao elas preparadas para isso? Eu acredito profundamente que so uma revolucao estrutural, feita de dentro pra fora e que nao exclua nada nem ninguem de seus efeitos, possa acabar com a pobreza e desigualdade no Brasil. Afinal, de que serve um governo que nao administra? De que serve uma mae que nao afaga? E, finalmente, de que serve um Homem que nao se posiciona? Talvez o sentido de nossa propria existencia esteja ligado, justamente, a um posicionamento perante o mundo como um todo. Sem egoismo. Cada um por todos. Algumas perguntas, quando auto-indagadas, se tornam elucidativas. Pergunte-se:
quero ser pobre no Brasil? Filho de uma mae gentil ou de uma madrasta vil? Ser tratado como cidadao ou excluido? Como gente... Ou como bicho?Premiada pela UNESCO, Clarice Zeitel, de 26 anos, estudante que termina faculdade de direito da UFRJ em julho, concorreu com outros 50 mil estudantes universitarios. Ela acaba de voltar de Paris, onde recebeu um premio da Organizacao das Nacoes Unidas para a Educacao, a Ciencia e a Cultura (UNESCO) por uma redacao sobre 'Como vencer a pobreza e a desigualdade' A redacao de Clarice intitulada `Patria Madrasta Vil foi incluida num livro, com outros cem textos selecionados no concurso. A publicacao esta disponivel no site da Biblioteca Virtual da UNESCO.
um principe encantado e descobrir que e um sapo.E como se uma parte do meu coracao,tivesse partido, que jamais a encontrarei.Tentar esquecer-te e como chutar a bolacontra a parede, tentar gostar de umoutro alguem, imaginando eu e voce.Depois de uma grande decepcaoainda gostar de voce e nao conseguir esquecer-te fazer quem me ama de verdade sofrer por ainda amar voce.Burrice minha achar que voce seria meu um dia. Posso nao ser tudo que voce quer mas sou mais do que voce merece.Karolayn
o anuncio de uma oferta e outra, a Simone comeca a informar que e Natal e de supetao me cobra um feedback: "E o que voce fez"?Respondi em minha mente, feedback e diario e voce nao manda em mim.Na verdade nao sabia responder de pronto, mas resolvi averiguar nas retrospectivas do facebook, insta, twitter, tinder, snap e google+. Alias esse ultimo sequer acessei esse ano.Relembrei alguns churrascos e chas de bebe/revelacao e todos esses que inventam a cada ano. Alguns encontros, reencontros e despedidas.Enfim nada de muito relevante pra humanidade, mas de alguma forma acredito ter contribuido positivamente para a humanidade que vive ao meu redor, os quais, sem eles a vida nao faz o menor sentido.E e isso que desejo, que no proximo ano as metas nao sejam tao ambiciosas, nao se culpe por nao mudar o mundo. Mas faca o possivel pra fazer o seu mundo melhor, com mais sorrisos, mais gentileza, mais churros de nutella, mais amor...Seja feliz sempre, nao desista dos seus sonhos e ande sempre de cabeca erguida. Esses sao os mais sinceros votos de mim pra voce!Gutowm