adults our schemas lead us to think and act in ways that keep our needs from being fulfilled. These same habits that at one time protected us as children, now sabotage our true desires, offering us neurotic solutions. Our schemas are maladaptive and self-defeating.Buddhism speaks of our destructive habits as anusayas, dormant tendencies in the mind that erupt in episodes of mental and emotional disturbance. Goleman likens the landscape of these eruptions to mental minefields, a term that aptly describes the mental chaos and confusion that can overwhelm us when our schemas are activated. We are all familiar with the pattern: an old feeling is prompted by something, someone, somewhere and we are back in that old place with defenses up ready to fight or flee. As automatic as our breath, our schemas are activated.Whats your schema? An honest look at our patterns is needed to spot and understand the hidden schemas in our lives. Goleman introduces ten common schemas, the first five shaped by our earliest experiences with our parents and family, the others shaped later as we entered the world beyond our family.The early years:Abandonment - the ongoing fear that people will leave us all alone may have been prompted by any childhood experience of being left, literally or symbolically. Resulting feelings of the abandonment schema are sadness, feelings of isolation and the fear and panic that come from the prospect of being left.Although the childs response to these fears is to cling more tightly, as an adult such neediness can drive relationships away, thus sabotaging the very relationships longed for. Alternatively, running away from relationships in an attempt to avoid being abandoned is another habit of the abandonment schema.A healthy response to abandonment involves learning that its ok to be on your own, that one has the inner resources to meet their needs themselves and learning to trust in connections.Deprivation the conviction that ones needs wont be met may have been prompted by a childhood of neglect. As an adult this can trigger hypersensitivity to not being noticed or attended to in close relationships in spite of contrary evidence. Resulting feelings include hopelessness that one will ever be understood or cared for. In turn, anger and resentment for being ignored can crop up. With the deprivation schema, one may develop heightened caregiver skills in learning to care for those who arent able to care themselves, or in an attempt to protect oneself from being hurt in a relationship, one may keep others at a distance.A healthy response to the deprivation schema involves developing an awareness of a tendency to misinterpret others actions and understanding and clarifying ones own needs clearly in relationships that are emotionally healthy.Subjugation the feeling that ones needs dont matter may have been prompted by controlling parents who ignored their childs autonomy. Adults with this pattern have difficulty making decisions for themselves and may be over eager to please others. Under this pleasing facade however resentment and anger boil. Coping techniques may include rebellion, a lack of commitment or surrender to others.A healthy response to the