thegoodfellas/blogset-br huggingface dataset:
not,' said the Mock Turtle: 'why, if a fish came to ME, and told me he was going a journey, I should say "With what porpoise?"''Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice.'I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended tone. And the Gryphon added 'Come, let's hear some of YOUR adventures.''I could tell you my adventuresbeginning from this morning,' said Alice a little timidly: 'but it's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.''Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle.'No, no! The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an impatient tone: 'explanations take such a dreadful time.' So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when she first saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about it just at first, the two creatures got so close to her, one on each side, and opened their eyes and mouths so VERY wide, but she gained courage as she went on. Her listeners were perfectly quiet till she got to the part about her repeating 'YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,' to the Caterpillar, and the words all coming different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, and said 'That's very curious.''It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the Gryphon.'It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeated thoughtfully. 'I should like to hear her try and repeat something now. Tell her to begin.' He looked at the Gryphon as if he thought it had some kind of authority over Alice.'Stand up and repeat "'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,"' said the Gryphon.'How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat lessons!' thought Alice; 'I might as well be at school at once.' However, she got up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was saying, and the words came very queer indeed: ''Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare, "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair." As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.' [later editions continued as follows When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark, And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark, But, when the tide rises and sharks are around, His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.]'That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,' said the Gryphon.'Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; 'but it sounds uncommon nonsense.'Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her hands, wondering if anything would EVER happen in a natural way again.'I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle.'She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. 'Go on with the next verse.''But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. 'How COULD he turn them out with his nose, you know?''It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was dreadfully puzzled by
the whole thing, and longed to change the subject.'Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently: 'it begins "I passed by his garden."'Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would all come wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:'I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie' [later editions continued as follows The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat, While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat. When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon, Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon: While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl, And concluded the banquet]'What IS the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle interrupted, 'if you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far the most confusing thing I ever heard!''Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon: and Alice was only too glad to do so.'Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the Gryphon went on. 'Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?''Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,' Alice replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather offended tone, 'Hm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her "Turtle Soup," will you, old fellow?'The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes choked with sobs, to sing this:'Beautiful Soup, so rich and green, Waiting in a hot tureen! Who for such dainties would not stoop? Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! Beauootiful Soooop! Beauootiful Soooop! Soooop of the eeevening, Beautiful, beautiful Soup! 'Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish, Game, or any other dish? Who would not give all else for two Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? Beauootiful Soooop! Beauootiful Soooop! Soooop of the eeevening, Beautiful, beautiFUL SOUP!''Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had just begun to repeat it, when a cry of 'The trial's beginning!' was heard in the distance.'Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, it hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song.'What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon only answered 'Come on!' and ran the faster, while more and more faintly came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the melancholy words:'Soooop of the eeevening, Beautiful, beautiful Soup!'
[http://www.gutenberg.org/files/11/11-h/11-h.htm][http://www.4shared.com/audio/37L3Kffq/aliceinwonderland_12_carroll.html]'Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset the week before.'Oh, I BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at once and put back into the jury-box, or they would die.'The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave voice, 'until all the jurymen are back in their proper placesALL,' he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he said do.Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; 'not that it signifies much,' she said to herself; 'I should think it would be QUITE as much use in the trial one way up as the other.'As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into the roof of the court.'What do you know about this business?' the King said to Alice.'Nothing,' said Alice.'Nothing WHATEVER?' persisted the King.'Nothing whatever,' said Alice.'That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit interrupted: 'UNimportant, your Majesty means, of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke.'UNimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and went on to himself in an undertone, 'importantunimportantunimportantimportant' as if he were trying which word sounded best.Some of the jury wrote it down 'important,' and some 'unimportant.' Alice could see this, as she was near enough to look over their slates; 'but it doesn't matter a bit,' she thought to herself.At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in his note-book, cackled out 'Silence!' and read out from his book, 'Rule Forty-two. ALL PERSONS MORE THAN A MILE HIGH TO LEAVE THE COURT.'Everybody looked at Alice.'I'M not a mile high,' said Alice.'You are,' said the King.'Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen.'Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: 'besides, that's not a regular rule: you invented it just
now.''It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King.'Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice.The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. 'Consider your verdict,' he said to the jury, in a low, trembling voice.'There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; 'this paper has just been picked up.''What's in it?' said the Queen.'I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, 'but it seems to be a letter, written by the prisoner toto somebody.''It must have been that,' said the King, 'unless it was written to nobody, which isn't usual, you know.''Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen.'It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; 'in fact, there's nothing written on the OUTSIDE.' He unfolded the paper as he spoke, and added 'It isn't a letter, after all: it's a set of verses.''Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of the jurymen.'No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, 'and that's the queerest thing about it.' (The jury all looked puzzled.) 'He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King. (The jury all brightened up again.)'Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, 'I didn't write it, and they can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.''If you didn't sign it,' said the King, 'that only makes the matter worse. You MUST have meant some mischief, or else you'd have signed your name like an honest man.'There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the first really clever thing the King had said that day. 'That PROVES his guilt,' said the Queen.'It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice. 'Why, you don't even know what they're about!''Read them,' said the King.The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked.'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.' These were the verses the White Rabbit read:'They told me you had been to her, And mentioned me to him: She gave me a good character, But said I could not swim. He sent them word I had not gone (We know it to be true): If she should push the matter on, What would become of you? I gave her one, they gave him two, You gave us three or more; They all returned from him to you, Though they were mine before. If I or she should chance to be Involved in this affair, He trusts to you to set them free, Exactly as we were. My notion was that you had been (Before she had this fit) An obstacle that came between Him, and ourselves, and it. Don't let him know she liked them best, For this must ever be A secret, kept from all the rest, Between yourself and me.''That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,' said the King, rubbing his hands; 'so now let the jury''If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice,
(she had grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit afraid of interrupting him,) 'I'll give him sixpence. I don't believe there's an atom of meaning in it.'The jury all wrote down on their slates, 'SHE doesn't believe there's an atom of meaning in it,' but none of them attempted to explain the paper.'If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, 'that saves a world of trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. And yet I don't know,' he went on, spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking at them with one eye; 'I seem to see some meaning in them, after all. "SAID I COULD NOT SWIM" you can't swim, can you?' he added, turning to the Knave.The Knave shook his head sadly. 'Do I look like it?' he said. (Which he certainly did NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.)'All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering over the verses to himself: '"WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE" that's the jury, of course"I GAVE HER ONE, THEY GAVE HIM TWO" why, that must be what he did with the tarts, you know''But, it goes on "THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU,"' said Alice.'Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to the tarts on the table. 'Nothing can be clearer than THAT. Then again"BEFORE SHE HAD THIS FIT" you never had fits, my dear, I think?' he said to the Queen.'Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off writing on his slate with one finger, as he found it made no mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was trickling down his face, as long as it lasted.)'Then the words don't FIT you,' said the King, looking round the court with a smile. There was a dead silence. 'It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and everybody laughed, 'Let the jury consider their verdict,' the King said, for about the twentieth time that day.'No, no!' said the Queen. 'Sentence firstverdict afterwards.''Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. 'The idea of having the sentence first!''Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple.'I won't!' said Alice.'Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. Nobody moved.'Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by this time.) 'You're nothing but a pack of cards!'At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the trees upon her face.'Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; 'Why, what a long sleep you've had!''Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told her sister, as well
as she could remember them, all these strange Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, 'It WAS a curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it's getting late.' So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been.But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes were looking up into hersshe could hear the very tones of her voice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back the wandering hair that WOULD always get into her eyesand still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place around her became alive the strange creatures of her little sister's dream.The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried bythe frightened Mouse splashed his way through the neighbouring poolshe could hear the rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunate guests to executiononce more the pig-baby was sneezing on the Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around itonce more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable Mock Turtle.So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and all would change to dull realitythe grass would be only rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the reedsthe rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd boyand the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and all the other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the confused clamour of the busy farm-yardwhile the lowing of the cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's heavy sobs.Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about her other little children, and make THEIR eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.THE END
[http://www.gutenberg.org/files/11/11-h/11-h.htm][http://www.4shared.com/audio/doc0Vm0c/aliceinwonderland_08_carroll.html] A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up to them she heard one of them say, 'Look out now, Five! Don't go splashing paint over me like that!''I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; 'Seven jogged my elbow.'On which Seven looked up and said, 'That's right, Five! Always lay the blame on others!''YOU'D better not talk!' said Five. 'I heard the Queen say only yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!''What for?' said the one who had spoken first.'That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven.'Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, 'and I'll tell himit was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.' Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun 'Well, of all the unjust things' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the others looked round also, and all of them bowed low.'Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, 'why you are painting those roses?'Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a low voice, 'Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore she comes, to' At this moment Five, who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called out 'The Queen! The Queen!' and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen.First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the corners: next the ten courtiers; these were ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as the soldiers did. After these came the royal children; there were ten of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along hand in hand, in couples: they were all ornamented with hearts. Next came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Alice recognised the White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried nervous manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this grand procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS.Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on her face like the three gardeners, but she could not remember ever having heard of such a rule at processions; 'and besides, what would be the use of a procession,' thought she, 'if people had all to lie down upon their
faces, so that they couldn't see it?' So she stood still where she was, and waited.When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped and looked at her, and the Queen said severely 'Who is this?' She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply.'Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and, turning to Alice, she went on, 'What's your name, child?''My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice very politely; but she added, to herself, 'Why, they're only a pack of cards, after all. I needn't be afraid of them!''And who are THESE?' said the Queen, pointing to the three gardeners who were lying round the rosetree; for, you see, as they were lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her own children. 'How should I know?' said Alice, surprised at her own courage. 'It's no business of MINE.'The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast, screamed 'Off with her head! Off''Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was silent.The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said 'Consider, my dear: she is only a child!'The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave 'Turn them over!'The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.'Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the King, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else.'Leave off that!' screamed the Queen. 'You make me giddy.' And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, 'What HAVE you been doing here?''May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone, going down on one knee as he spoke, 'we were trying''I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the roses. 'Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on, three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.'You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off after the others. 'Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen.'Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers shouted in reply.'That's right!' shouted the Queen. 'Can you play croquet?'The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question was evidently meant for her.'Yes!' shouted Alice.'Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the procession, wondering very much what would happen next.'It'sit's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side. She was walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face.'Very,' said Alice: 'where's the Duchess?''Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and