How to be a Programmer
Tags: beginners, programming, tutorial
Published: 2023-01-03 00:17:20

### **_Turn off the fourth alarm and turn on the tower_**,  
  
then start the [magic beans](https://unsplash.com/photos/lcfH0p6emhw) a-brewing.  
Prime your tired head with a [pep talk](https://blog.hubspot.com/marketing/impostor-syndrome-tips) while brushing those teeth;  
you're gonna need it.

---

### _**Restore all recently closed [tabs](https://www.quora.com/Is-there-a-limit-to-how-many-tabs-you-can-have-open-in-Chrome) and be grateful**_  
for a remembering machine, reliable and efficient.  
Imagine streams of lightning on copper highways.  
[Impossible](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/computers-are-becoming-fa/#:~:text=%22The%20wires%20in%20an%20electronic,speed%20of%20light%20in%20vacuum.) speed.  
Marvel for a moment.

---

### _**Don't dwell on how much you love programming.**_  
Love doesn't pay.  
Force yourself to work on [that one project](https://hackr.io/blog/full-stack-project-ideas)  
that might hopefully impress some critical someones  
you haven't even met yet.  

---

### **_The [tasklist](https://bootcamp.cvn.columbia.edu/blog/how-to-become-software-engineer-from-scratch/) is long and it's time to dive in._**  
Start with what time forgot yesterday.  
Find a rhythm, [stretch your fingers](https://skinkraft.com/blogs/articles/how-to-take-care-of-your-hands).  
Hot water helps when the blood is fighting cold.  

---

### **_You're stuck before you've started._**  
Reach out to the documentation and I'm sorry  
[it's so terrible](https://www.blackliszt.com/2020/10/the-universally-ignored-disaster-of-software-documentation.html).  
Remember how difficult it is to write great docs and
get over it.

---

### **_You're immediately reminded of [how little you know](https://www.apa.org/monitor/2021/06/cover-impostor-phenomenon)_**  
because this popular library has twelve paragraphs  
describing installation.  
Spend thirty minutes [scanning pages](https://blog.techtalentsouth.com/8-tips-to-reading-documentation-a-newbies-guide) and likely not find  
what you came here for.

---
  
### **_You're frustrated now so_**  
have some breakfast.  
Eat anything that resolves to [brain sugar](https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/foods-linked-to-better-brainpower).

---

### **_Finally some progress but you can no longer ignore_**  
those aching muscles.  
Sit on the floor and [stretch it out](https://backintelligence.com/exercises-to-improve-posture/) while  
the dog licks your face.

---


![Cute smiling puppy lounging on the floor](https://dev-to-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com/uploads/articles/ourh6r4rli8hzw7qabbx.jpg)

---

### **_Visit stack overflow with a pressing question but_**  
quickly discover that 42 other people have asked the same.  
Lose another opportunity to boost site [reputation](https://stackoverflow.com/help/whats-reputation).  
Remain a noob.  
At least you found the answer.  

---

### _**You've finally found your flow so**_  
interrupt it to retrieve more coffee.  
Run back to the throne excited because you suddenly came up with [a beautiful solution](https://www.quora.com/Is-it-better-to-write-code-that-works-or-code-that-is-beautiful) to _that one thing_.  
It doesn't work.  
Spill hot coffee on your pants.

---

### **_Restart the dev server and rejoice;_**
[only one hour wasted](https://www.techrepublic.com/article/developers-are-facing-burnout-after-spending-too-long-hunting-bugs-in-code/).  
Celebrate by finally getting some work done.  

---

### **_Explore alternative libraries because this one_**  
doesn't support that 15-line [dependency](https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22830284)  
of a dependency  
of a dependency of  
that one exclusive library with 600  
severe vulnerabilities.  

---

### **_You're seeing red with dry eyes so_**  
decide to [rewrite the whole project](https://www.onstartups.com/tabid/3339/bid/2596/Why-You-Should-Almost-Never-Rewrite-Your-Software.aspx) in python.    
Write a 300-line module in hour 9  
that runs beautifully on the first try  
and remember why  
it's all worth it.

---

_[Return to line 1.](https://dev.to/synthetic_rain/how-to-be-a-programmer-oej)_  

---

---

---