I lost my job, I am depressed.
Tags: job, layoff, depressed
Published: 2022-11-10 21:22:06

**On June 30 I lost my job. I couldn’t understand what happened.**

As you know, I loved my job and I really enjoyed being part of the startup. I joined in 2020. I worked there for 2 years. I spent a lot of time working there, and I learned so much. Well, my status passed to unemployed. In the beginning I felt fine because I was exhausted. I had burnout.   In the last months, my body was very tired. 

I overslept for months, I didn’t go out, I didn’t talk with my parents and friends. 
I was sad, and I felt humiliated because I didn’t know how to explain to my family that I lost my job. It was a failure for myself.  But, one day, I decided to call my mom and tell her the situation. My family supported me, but they didn’t understand what happened, and they asked me “What are you doing now? I was like, I have no idea. 

Then, I started looking for a new job. It was hard for me. I hadn’t done interviews in the past two years. With help from some friends, I started with my CV and I made a basic portfolio. Special thanks to [**Caro La Reclu IT**](https://twitter.com/larecluIT) because she was the first person to help me in this process. 

Well, I began with interviews and I noticed my abilities and knowledge were not enough for the market. I improved myself and the way I took the interviews. I applied to many companies.I had the first and second interviews, but I didn’t continue in the process. That made me feel inadequate.

One day I saw this screenshot. I made it when I was practicing an English interview. At this moment I saw myself sad, tired, frustrated and depressed. I accept that I was depressed because I lost my job. It was a huge part of my day. I couldn’t see my team. I missed my daily routine.

![Image description](https://dev-to-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com/uploads/articles/1jv7gzsej1fmjeivs7gy.JPG)

Sometimes for me, it is impossible to wake up. In the last few months, my psychiatric treatment has changed every month, because I need energy to do my activities. My chairs have tons of clothes because I don’t have energy to organize. I’m trying to go out with friends and family. I’m trying to cook, not always healthy, but I eat something. I’m trying to play with my pet. She makes me happy. 

Not only that, but I’m trying to forget that I lost my job, and I am worthwhile as a person. My heart is still broken. I am not sure when I will feel better. I do what I can to feel good and be happy. 

Finally, I learned some key points. It’s ok if I:

- Feel sad because I lost my job. 
- Do nothing because I don’t have energy.
- Don’t clean my apartment. 
- Cry during the day. 
- Feel lost.
 
I continue with therapy and my psychiatric treatment. I can do more activities than in the past months. I went to Mexico City on vacation. This helped me to feel better. I’ve started smiling once again. 


![Image description](https://dev-to-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com/uploads/articles/1dlz4fn7fk6pp0n5fi37.jpg)



If you read the whole thing, thank you for your time. I am working to be my best.
Thank you, [**Technolatinas**](https://twitter.com/Technolatinas), friends and mentors that help me in this difficult moment.