Datasets:

sleeping-ai
/

hawk-tuah

+00:00:00 - 00:00:30
+ Come on, Hayley, it's not that bad. All right, it's time to get out of the bed and quit rotten. Hayley, get up. All right, I'm ready to talk. So I wanted to start my podcast out here in Belfast, Tennessee, where I was born at and where I've been ever since until a few weeks ago and everything changed. No, really. I even learned that you can't bring a box cut or on the plane. So we'll be talking about all the crazy stuff that's happened since I got into this mess, and the stuff that man Chelsea likes to do before all this happened. And I want you guys to get to know me better than Hock 2. Now it's true. Like you really gotta put your emphasis. Yeah.
+00:00:30 - 00:01:00
+ You're not saying, Tua, you're saying Tua. You know? Like, you got to really put your back into Tua, you know? My first guess is going to be somebody that's very dear to me. Ms. Whitney Cummings, make sure you hit follow-on Talk to wherever you get your podcast. We're releasing episodes every Tuesday. And for those of you watching on YouTube, be sure you like, comment, and subscribe. Subscribe to that thing. Music Music Keep all this in. This is...
+00:01:00 - 00:01:30
+ Madam in person. Thanks to you best know man ever shout out you grow up for a now I got a pillow And sleep with every night whatever That it will that was a match made in heaven They'll let me just go on and tell you I've read all the comments like on our posts and they're like All look it's like the first look and they're like smile on each other You will never see me smile out of man like that ever get in my entire fucking life let me just go on until you can ask her I died Police don't go on us like coming got us like from the car and then we walked around and they didn't
+00:01:30 - 00:02:00
+ I just kept making jokes and they were so horrified. And I have a sense of humor up is that they're smackin' my nail back, but like a bunch of motherfuckers. And I was like, I guess like objective journalism is just not for me. And you know, I have like emotional dyslexia when you grow up with horrible things you use humor to cope. So it's like, other people that laugh at fun, you know, feel uncomfortable when things are fun, you know. I've never had to go to a funeral together because I cannot sit beside you. But yeah, I will just be like, I will just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be like, I'll just be
+00:02:00 - 00:02:30
+ Like, at least we'll be crying, not, not like, yeah, last year. But you'd be surprised how many people, like my dad's funeral, we were dying laughing. Like it's just like, I think- I don't know if you know should be, I feel like- If I'm done, that's how I got my funeral in being. I think so too. Yeah, before I'm my cast, get, do something on your book. Oh, dude, I wanna do so many pranks at my funeral. I'm gonna have a close cast get and then have like someone jump out. I like wanna have them like fly my body in. I've got so many things. Like my funeral, I like, I cannot wait to die so I can do a while funeral. Oh?
+00:02:30 - 00:03:00
+ Like a dance party at Mom. Yeah, and then I want like a big green screen like all my best moments I'm gonna be like, but you're gonna fucking be here something. I don't know. I wanna go out with the bang Remember me like this? Don't remember me like dead as fucking my casket, you know You're gonna live for a really long time. I feel like yeah You're like, so I remember having me, I wanna live through you through me. Yeah How do you know if you're in love with somebody? Don't look at me, man Oh, look this my queen. I love the strong word. It is a strong word
+00:03:00 - 00:03:30
+ like a living-dovey kind of person. I don't like talking about that. You think that now? You're a lot like me in just way. It's like that. It's like that. Like love the thought of that. It's like that. But, a dog you've never met. I love you. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly, that was exactly. But I do think most, you know, I think a lot of people jump to it too fast, you know? It's in your problem, you know, you withhold. Which is like, oh, mustard back at the fuck up. That's okay. Because I also think that love it's a word you can't take back. And also once you bring that into it, I always, my guy makes fun of me about it because...
+00:03:30 - 00:04:00
+ I'm so unromantic like this, but it's just because I don't you know, I've said I love you before and I didn't know what I was saying I've heard I love you before but didn't feel loved which is so confusing and I think a lot of times that phrase It's just used to like shut you up. It's just but I love you But I love you. I love you, too But I feel like you're trying to shut me up, you know when like you're arguing with someone and they're like I love you Okay, I love and you're just like yeah, yeah, that's it. Yes, right? And But I love you, but then you would have done that thing that never said I love you to try to erase it up and like
+00:04:00 - 00:04:30
+ Like this is, and so I told my dude, I was like, don't tell me you love me, I'll let you know when you love me. Yeah, I'll let you know when I feel loved. I got one more question for you. No. What is your biggest turn on? Dude, I love a trashy tattoo. And honestly, preferably another woman's name, a Tina. A Trina. I bet she like bite on it, I'll let you know when you love me.
+00:04:30 - 00:05:00
+ I want there to be a mole, like a girl's face, like a hot girl, there's a mole with like a hair coming out of it, I'm like, could you shake? Could you pluck the mole coming out of the girls' feet? I love a canceled tattoo that's like a redskins, like a chief, you know what I mean? Just a warn, you're not allowed to say any more, just Cleveland Indians. Just for I love. A neo-nazi prison tattoo, like that's that. You must have loved American history acts, like I get you in the fucking mood, doesn't it, Whitney?
+00:05:00 - 00:05:30
+ Just a cause we showed tattoo. I love bad tattoos. I love a bad tattoo on a man with his shit together now. So you made to tell me if Pookie has a tattoo on his leg or he says party and a Washington bracelet. Yeah, she just has a fucking bad tattoo. Oh my god. Oh my god. Ah. Ah, yeah, that's my last brain. Sorry. Yeah, specifically. I love that. I think a lot of women are like, I hate bad tattoos, but I've never let him remember.
+00:05:30 - 00:06:00
+ Remember there mistakes. You can have to remind them of their mistakes. They're right there. And every time that you go, let me check your phone and he's like, you're annoying. He can look down at that too. And be like, remember how dumb I used to be. When he was a slutty friend? Yeah, I'll remember I used to date Trina. Trina. They go naïve, bye, Trina's dad. And we're trying to fight my mom. Yeah. I'm doing better and they're grateful for you. Whitney, thank you for coming. I hope there's something usable in here. I have so much shit in there. Okay, good, good. I hope you're happy. Thank you.
+00:06:00 - 00:06:30
+ Yeah, yeah. This is what a podcast is. I always leave a podcast, me like, was that anything, but like it's just... It's just no one comes inside. Two people kicking it. You damn right. I love you dude. I love you dude. I'm so, this is gonna come up patronizing. I'm not gonna say I'm proud of you for getting famous, or whatever. I don't know, I don't do that. I have mommy issues. I feel like your grooming may right now. Okay, grooming you. I like that. You. I might be the only person with the dozen groom anyone. I don't groom myself, look at my hair. So no, I'm proud of the people who have surrounded me.
+00:06:30 - 00:07:00
+ I said he's right there at the fucking corner weird going around. I was like what the hell? I go around and I was like, oh, I don't know. I haven't prepared myself what to say to this man. He's like, hey, I was like, don't look me in the eyes. He's like, okay, I'm dead. He could've turned me to stone like in the end. And I was like, oh my god, I'm gonna be. You're in LA. You can go get Poe Talks right now and look like a stone whenever you want. Yeah, that's actually a good point. There's Poe Talks everywhere. I get a little myself. I call it Bro Talks. I do. Bro Talks. He really is. He's dead.
+00:07:00 - 00:07:30
+ yourself with. Thank you! Because that makes her break you. Mentionally, financially, six of everything. So you have amazing taste in humans. And by the way, the best thing to do is have dogs around humans because if you don't have good taste in humans, your dogs will tell you. So I'm glad that you have dogs around. They're having a little good talk myself, let's say. Oh, that note! I had to take up any more good time. I love you. That's what people from the south say when they want you to stop talking. I don't want to take it up any more of your sound. That was-
+00:07:30 - 00:08:00
+ by the way that was like like bless your heart adjacent. That is bless your heart as a girlfriend. I love you. I love you too. I love you. I love you. Thank you. What's it Whitney just said to Pete, if you want more go like comment, subscribe to talk to with Hailey Wilts. Follow wherever you get your podcasts. Why you watching this, take a picture and tag me and tell me who you want next. Tag me and talk to her and I'll be sure to repulse.
+00:08:00 - 00:08:09
+ Mae yma'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'
+00:08:09 - 00:08:39
+ no shit. Do you really get it? Here's why guys look, I'm not about the I'm fucking fry here. You do get Botox. Let me explain. And Whitney, you can back me up here. I don't get Botox anymore. No, hold on. Earlier, you get it. Yep. Right. So when you start young you're actually just getting rid of whatever wrinkles would pop up. So it's not like I'm going every week and getting shit done. It's like I went a few times, actually went again like last month. Like for a touch up, but yeah. I'll get it. I go to Calabassas. I got a lot there. Oh, forehead and then crow's feet.
+00:08:39 - 00:09:09
+ right here. But here's the thing. Oh wow. So you still have some movement, which is good. You have more though. Here's the thing. Number one. If you're a girl and you get Botox, number one, you're going to track better files. Okay. We're all trying to stop shaving your vagina hair. Don't stop shaving your vagina hair. I was going with this to stop. We're gonna run out and put things in it. I was dating creeps the longest time and I was bathing them by having a bulb pussy and Botox. Of course. Okay. Okay. Okay. Thank you for that joke. I'm gonna die in your life.
+00:09:09 - 00:09:39
+ I want people to know when I'm pissed off of them. I want to know what I'm mad and I realized that when I bowtox I didn't have any wrinkles so I would be like mad at somebody and they'd be like anyway. They think I was joking and I was like I'm serious and I'm gonna have to sub-title my face because they didn't have any wrinkles or wrinkles. Okay, they convey information. See, I have like a bitchy face. I have like a wrinkle going through here. Let me see? That's normal. I'm gonna leave mom. It gives me wrinkles. wrinkles are a sign of youth. That's right. I agree. That's why I decided to just stop getting bowtox. Yeah, see? You know what I do kinda want?
+00:09:39 - 00:10:09
+ There's, you can get Botox in your armpits so that you can sweat. But the dermatologist said to me, it's okay so you can get, I think it's like 18 shots in both one armpit, 18 and 18 so that you don't sweat but then he was like, the sweat does have to come out somewhere and it usually comes out in your, and you're poochy banana, what the fuck, and you're poochy banana, that's why you grew it out. Honestly, at this point I like...
+00:10:09 - 00:10:39
+ having pubic hair, sweating, wrinkles because it is just my golden life to attract straight men and it really detours all the gay men and I can't date any more gay men. Yeah, shit, if you want to come over here much on this road go for a boy. Yeah, you know. Yeah. If a guy looks at pubes on a vagina and has like never mind, this is you know. He's a CCS bitch. Yeah, I do think that way. You might want to grow mine out like finger-wave or something. Yeah, you got me rethinking.
+00:10:39 - 00:11:09
+ everything right now. How do you shit keep going? It's not a lesson. You know what it is. There's something that happens when you get, getting older is actually kind of amazing. You know, I thought it would like, you know, why would just like blow my head off when I turn four to you. You know, but there's something kind of freeing about it, you know? Because like, you're like, Karen, yeah, the guys that want to day you, they're like adults like, you know, there's something really fun about it. I don't know. I'm into it. I'll do what you say that now. I can't wait to get older. Why not. I mean, I think it would be fun. It's kind of fun. It's just sort of like, yeah, there's veins on my leg. But like, what about it?
+00:11:09 - 00:11:39
+ Whatever, dude, my angles are blue now. I'm an avatar. Sick. I'm not. Can you jump higher? I don't think I can jump at all. Yeah, my fake boobs have gotten too hard. Your boobs are fine. What the fuck? Yeah. So it actually happened. Can I tell you something about you? I think part of the reason people love you so much is because you know you're like, like, ghetto, dolly, partner or something? Yeah. I said something. That's a very personal art there. Trailer Swift? Trailer Trash dolly, you know what I mean?
+00:11:39 - 00:12:09
+ whatever it is is that you there's this epidemic where especially white women super privilege white women will talk about how hard their lives are and how like and when I was at this Hollywood party the producer hugged me too long and like we all have to march because like white women was uncomfortable you know my trauma and you're like what was your trauma and they're like I had to move to Canada to do this movie and you're just like where's the like trauma used to be a word it was reserved for like ER nurses and like it was
+00:12:09 - 00:12:39
+ The key to you is don't overthink anything. Don't play on our plot anything. The key to your success is just flying by the seat of your pants and being exactly who you are. That's why I think you connect on different levels. Things so too. We both also find the same men in their 20s attractive. We have the same type. Welcome back to Talk To A. Today I got Miss Whitney Cummings. You've already seen her, but she had to come back to the liver. And then we got our two guests.
+00:12:39 - 00:13:09
+ is the thing where like blood was involved and every other other trauma and how they get triggered and they like struggle with anxiety. And meanwhile, they're like, from Connecticut and whatever. And you just blew by the fact that, yeah, this is my family situation. What, move on? Yeah, what about it? It's like I'm not making this my thing. It's like dark humor too. That's not like how most people deal with it. But it's also, I don't want you to pity me and I'm not gonna try to be a victim in order to get attention. And like, I'm fine, I'll be okay. Yeah, I'm accepted. I can't keep fucking accepted. Yeah, I fed it. Yeah, I'm not gonna.
+00:13:09 - 00:13:39
+ the fuck out of you guys, talking about how hard my life is. Everyone's life is far. Mom on my left me and she picked Craig over my place in here in Crow. Have you tried crack though? From what I understand, it's better than kid. Yeah, I've never seen an unhappy crackhead. He's a mad guy. I got happy, they're like super mad too. That's it. There was a little boozey did a video about crack. He talked about how fentanyl is like no good. He's like my crackheads, like they play basketball, they're athletic, they can run, they can fix a car, like my crack...
+00:13:39 - 00:14:09
+ Rockheads are doing well. That's so boozy, Evan. Yeah. You don't want to fight a crackhead. I don't want to fight a crackhead. That's like fighting with a souped up kangaroos, like an Australia, the Beatrice. You fuck that. Yeah. I don't know what those kangaroos, they look at the Jake Paul of Australia. Those kangaroos, this thing. That's a really good comparison. That's what he reminds me of. Like souped up fucking kangaroos. Yeah, yeah. Can you not wanna fuck with them? It's an animal. But like so that's something that it's such a breath of fresh air about you. It is. You know. All right, Greg. So I'm gonna be real with y'all. I was never.
+00:14:09 - 00:14:39
+ biggest football fan out. Also don't even get the rules that much. But what I do know is I like having fun and winning money and better picks let you win up 2000 times your money. The app is super easy and it makes it a thousand times more fun. Just pick your favorite players or the man that you think you're cute in my case. And predict what they're gonna do in the game. Get them right and you can win up to 1000 times your money. So download better, play better picks. Use the code talk to her and let's hit some lineups all NFL season long. It's crazy how I said two words not here in the game. It's pretty wild. It is. It is.
+00:14:39 - 00:15:09
+ I was in a like, jumped on Sinner though. Jumped on wood. Like, all this. Like, I was scared to come out of my house of ours two weeks. May her both. We walked ourselves with a fucking midterm. That's a normal healthy reaction. I would be a long walk-off. I would be worried about your psychological state. If you were like, yes, like here, I knew that would work. Like, that would be smooth to it. Yeah, that would be a little spitty. I just imagine if Chelsea said Hawk II and not you, that night. Would Chelsea be sitting in that chair? I would not have dealt with it as good as you did. I was going to hear you say it. So, I would be really happy to see you next week. I was going to go to the other side of the chair. I would be very happy to see you next week. I would be really happy to see you next week. I would be really happy to see you next week. I would be really happy to see you next week. I would be really happy to see you next week. I would be really happy to see you next week. I would be really happy to see you next week. I would be very happy to see you next week. I would be really happy to see you next week. I would be really happy to see you next week. I would be really happy to see you next week. I would be really happy to see you next week. I would be really happy to see you next week.
+00:15:09 - 00:15:39
+ He don't give a fuck. It's hard, right? Let's just hear you saying. He's not giving a single fuck. When we're talking. I can't do it as good as doing it. You do it. Hot, too. You have to put like an emphasis on like, too, no, no, no, no. Yeah, set, alright, all together. Hot, too, hot, too, hot, too. Say it aggressive. Like, like, hot, too. Like you're mad at the day. You're mad at it. Hot. He's girls have never seen a dick witt in. I know that's your bad. You relax. Danch, wittin' you snider. You know what I think-
+00:15:39 - 00:16:09
+ You know what I think is easy, bro, Todd. You know what I think we need to do. I think we need to like do, I don't know, like a bar crawl where we get you drunk and try to get you a slogan. I gotta say what you mean, you're saying. We gotta get you a slogan. I feel like we could do it. If we just like go to Nashville a couple nights just get wasted. Oh, we did like it. We could just like sneak up on you and like send like some crisis actor to interview you and try to get something out. What we're going to do is send me to do it again.
+00:16:09 - 00:16:39
+ Yeah, I'm sure they wouldn't have a problem. They wouldn't. Yeah. Wonder what they're doing. Why are you like, you're not allowed to say, right? Maybe we are. Fuck, let's wrap it up. Yeah, it's like, you know, well, they might argue that you're making money off of it, and it better. Oh, but what about that? Video that I first posted when all the shit started out and get any money off of that? Yeah. Look, it's like my lip lip. Yeah, you should definitely just get the money of nothing else. Yeah. They launched a merch store the next day. Haley asked them to take the video down. She was like very depressed about it, and they just kind of like block tearing. We have it all.
+00:16:39 - 00:17:09
+ They blocked all my friends and we all have it like screenshot it to like I message them. I was like, all right You posted the one you got bees and everything else just stop you're like horrifying me just quit And they didn't stop me either so I just kept going I was like alright this fucking point what else you're gonna post picture my ass crack go ahead I feel so bad about it too because I was like Holy shit I made her answer that question and now she's like beaten herself up. Hey, now I'm blood Grants the system all time. Look at it now. See I cannot
+00:17:09 - 00:17:39
+ but it also it was about what you said but it was also like your energy it was like your essence like vodka exactly how that works vodka! I'm trying plenty of vodka on camera and I didn't become an overnight sensation we'll see I say I went to shit like that like around my friends I'm just yeah how can I put it? I talk out of my ass a whole lot good good I'm open with them I don't have any kind of issue sent in front of them but what I'm trying vodka I'll say it to anybody I think we weirdly need more
+00:17:39 - 00:18:09
+ down here in the floor we have heartly heartly little blind but just don't get through and then uh oh we're burgah yeah and then we have burgah down here there is a little bit of a feisty but she likes a common barma so let's just go and hang it out with us and then we got Chelsea over here and then we got Jamie of course Jamie's one of the women sure have we need a white man for diversity exactly exactly I agree I got you a little friendship bracelet I put a non-sod keep it up really
+00:18:09 - 00:18:39
+ or talking out of our ass. Like I know that sounds insane because everyone online seems like they're doing that, but I actually think it's the opposite. I think everyone is doing a bad impression of themselves, or they're repeating what they heard somebody else say, or they're so obsessed about their brand, or trying to do what you did, they're trying to get a catchphrase going, they're trying to get some brand going, it feels so inauthentic, so artificial, and it's so repelant, and then you just talked out of your ass and it was something, you know, I had no intention of that. Yeah. But that's why I worked. Everyone else was running around with the intention being like, how do I get-
+00:18:39 - 00:19:09
+ famous off this, how do I get viral off this? And you were just, you know, they're a Nashville still like trying to recreate it. You know, there's interviews everywhere. Really? Yeah. The idea that a Nashville right now, girls get dressed up and get drunk to try to let you get filmed outside of a bar to get your career is so funny to me. Yeah. I gotta go like, hey, I'm gonna do that. Choke. Choke anything? Anything? Yeah, they, they're taking up to like, say if it were wait. I'm gonna get Chelsea
+00:19:09 - 00:19:39
+ Yeah, far on microphone. So it she does. What do you think? I don't know. But let me ask you you're I don't mean to say like your generation like were you already kind of on social media like And not really okay. Why care in there? Yeah, how do you feel doing this? Does make you feel uncomfortable? And I don't like her. Oh, okay. Good. I feel good about it. Good. Good. Good. It's just like I'd be reading my DMs now. Like oh my god I'm posting these this is my audience right here. Oh, I was freaking yeah big question. Do you feel like guys Try to hit on you like
+00:19:39 - 00:20:09
+ I don't mean about this. I just mean you're now in a situation being famous. You now have to question everybody that wants to be friends with the or date you. Have you already felt like there's a difference? Yeah. That's it. Yeah, I tell them that all the time. No guys just being nice. It's not a fake. I'm just a monster. The fuck you. That's about it. Well, it's worse now. I would rather a guy to use me for my body than for my Instagram. And then so what has been the most fun moment where you're like, okay, this is worth it. Okay, so beside.
+00:20:09 - 00:20:39
+ Why did you, like the one moment that I've been interviewed by, was Caitlin Bresta, I clicked with her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I love her. She's a good one. And her one, I would never shut up about that one. Her one was a shit. Okay, so let me ask you, I feel like as you get older, you start to realize this, you seem to know this. Does your personality change based on the liquor you're drinking? Like, I'm a different person vodka, wine, tequila, uh, what's wine, do? One, kind of makes you want to hump the couch a little.
+00:20:39 - 00:21:09
+ a bit. You speak for yourself. And then dark look there. I could put on my laundry. You're running a dog rescue. Yeah, I have like one. Yeah. Yeah. Like dark look. Or does what? I could probably find it grizzly, very fun. Drink dark look. Okay. Like fireball. I can't drink it anymore. I either drunk, or I get like violent. Like it's at a kind. Imagine what that video would have done. Like that's where Harley come from. That's my alter ego. Hartly. Harley, Harley, Harley, like you got hailed?
+00:21:09 - 00:21:39
+ and then you got Harley. It's just a straight up Nicki Minaj over here. She's got all her personality. So Harley, we see Harley when Harley drinks liquor. Not even, yeah, that's like brown liquor. Okay. You can test about that. Champagne? Eeeey. You say she's mean? Champagne. On Champagne? Oh. I want you to say that she means. Oh, no. It's the same thing. I said Champagne. Yeah, I'm for sure. Sorry. I'm going to drink dark liquor. Champagne.
+00:21:39 - 00:22:09
+ she had planes not too bad, okay. Like, one is not too terrible either unless I'm like drink bottles of it at a time. Something happened when I turn like 25 where I could only drink tequila. Like that's all. I could only drink tequila or else I was just texting X's. I'm like posting things on Twitter trying to get their attention. I'm like, you know, I looked at the Scientology ships, huh? Back up, post it stuff on Twitter to get their attention. Well you know when sometimes you're on social media and you're like a little older and you're like, I'm not gonna,
+00:22:09 - 00:22:39
+ text my axe but I'm like post it much of photos that I think he'd see which he'll get him to text me like just he's gonna be thinking about a no no no no I'm exactly what oh I'm so shit like this yeah we're just childish like I started having this magical thinking more like someone that I don't even want to date something that I don't even want to get back to you it's all their attention I just want him to miss me yeah you're never going to forget about me yeah I get vengeful I want him to know how well I'm doing I want to like whatever so I start posting stuff and make one of my
+00:22:39 - 00:23:09
+ doing I wake up in next morning like oh god I wear a more like than you know by the way that is a compliment yeah it is to me not to you yeah so yeah so for me I was okay to kill is kind of the only thing I do with this point really I'll do wine every now and then I would try Caitlin's wine i vodka vodka i'm actually pretty good on vodka yeah vodka I'm like we need to play charades now yeah like i get very like we're competing it's yeah thing so tell me about this animal sanctuary
+00:23:09 - 00:23:39
+ that babe. Come on. I can fix this, but I never had. Oh, come on. I love you. Oh, it was my day. Thank you. I did it off with you, so I had to have you. We really did. I hope I just, my nightmare would to create any pressure for you. I feel you're going through so much so fast. I feel like we connected. And I was like, let me just not put any pressure on her. So no, where I am if she needs me. I wouldn't nervous talking to you. Oh, good. Because afterwards you did Bill Mar, you did. I got a history lecture for him. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
+00:23:39 - 00:24:09
+ This is my savior psyche. So that launched yesterday, it's pause across American nice. Hey, it's a little dumb. I'm like in that. I still can't find. Okay. So what is your strategy on how? What dogs you take, which animals you take, what you don't? So we're looking for like the ones that are the worst. In my opinion, so that's going to be like a big thing we're doing. We're the ones that need it most. Okay. And then we'll be doing little ones. Okay. They got it good, but they could still use it. This one's that need it terribly bad. Nice. And we're gonna do one more of those assembly, right?
+00:24:09 - 00:24:39
+ Saturday and Sunday. Yeah, okay. So I'm going to give you my unsolicited. It's not even a vice. I'll just share my experience. This is my thing. Rescuing animals is what I care about. Kind of the most in life. I do high risk dogs. Staffies, I don't like to say they were pit bull because people like to take that, you know, make it a bad word. Pipples get a bad rap. I have such a big bleeding heart. Well, pit bulls, if they're raised by idiots, there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no way there's no
+00:24:39 - 00:25:09
+ If they make a mistake, they will do the maximum amount of damage. Right. So while as Congressman does, they attack the most frequently of any dog, but they don't do much damage to an every carouser. So a PIPL does damage, it's over. Right. So anytime there's a dumb dog, there's a dumb person that's been dealing with it. So I have such a big bleeding heart. This is my thing. I did get my ear bitten off. It's been sewn back on. Woah. By a dog. And the dog sewed it back on. It's the dog sewed it back on.
+00:25:09 - 00:25:39
+ the dog. The dog. So I did, I dig it right here. But now so all I would say is protect your head. Protect this billion dollar face. So for me, I guess in the beginning, I was so excited to actually have resources to be able to save animals that I like, problem all into my house. I was and I made the mistake with the dog the bit my ear off. It was my fault. Anytime a dog attacks, I usually believe it's your fault or the person you trained it's fault or someone's fault, right?
+00:25:39 - 00:26:09
+ especially a staffy because they always give morning, right? They always give you two chances to back off and change the circumstances, right? If they attack it means they're fighting for their life and they feel cornered, or they think they're protecting their owner, which is why dog fighting happens. The way that they train them is it's really fucked up what they do. So basically they breed the dogs to get basically survival of, you know, the kindest, it will also be kindest because they're fighting for their owner, right? So they're not fighting to kill the other dog. They think they're protecting their owner, so the ones that are there.
+00:26:09 - 00:26:39
+ nicest or the ones that end up fighting and those right. So they're actually just like the sweetest dogs. They just... and disgusting what they do. But I had the dog sleep in my in the bed and he was sleeping on my chest, which is a dominant move. He hadn't been impulse control trained yet, and I was on the ground and I pushed him away and he just just went to like put, you know, their mouth is their hands. So the beginning if they've been taken from their mom too young, which is very common with abuse scenarios, they basically will just like grab your hand to try to like pull you and he just grabbed my ear and it just lab right off. You know, so I just wish...
+00:26:39 - 00:27:09
+ that when I was in that situation where I was resting I'm resting with elephants and drafts and bears and you know anything I could, exciting animal trafficking is a whole thing. We'll get to jokes in a second guys just calm down. But I just found myself in a situation where I was just like I'm talking to do a little I'm just saved them all and then you know a lot of crazy stuff happened. So it's a little good what to put them. Yeah so there's times where you just gotta go like yes we're resting with this hybrst dog but like he's not gonna sleep in the bed with me. Until I know more information about this dog you know so it's just like
+00:27:09 - 00:27:39
+ playing at safe and having somebody really smart running in. They go, it's like, OK, I'm going to respect the background of this dog that's gone through this horrific stuff and put it in a situation where it can like acclimate slowly. You know? Yeah. So like volunteers who like know how to, you know, let dogs come to blow around humans before they like freak out and make a mistake. You know, because sometimes dogs are at that abuse they make mistakes. Please tell me your name that dog, Spike Tyson. Did you either because that's a huge miss. It did. And he named him big-o.
+00:27:39 - 00:28:09
+ Um, so yeah, so that was like the thing. I think like you have such a big bleeding heart and as you can see when it comes to like I'm sure all the people coming out of the woodwork asking you for this and that like I was the person that as soon as I got any resources I was so poor for so long. I was like here's this. Here's this. Here's this ruin every one of my family relationships like buying them cars and houses and Helping insurance and then you know, it's Chris rock pulled me aside in the hallway when I first started having anything I had I did not understand what he was saying like it did not compute to me. He was like when you lend someone money It's only a matter of time before they start to hate you.
+00:28:09 - 00:28:39
+ They're no. And I was like, no, what do you mean? Like, this is gonna make my mom love me. And this is gonna make this sibling nice to me finally. It's like, doesn't work that way. And that I was like, okay, animals are safe. You can't love an animal too much, you know. This is like, exactly. And they can't help herself either. So that's why I like doing it. Why do people start hating you and give them money? What's that? Why do people start getting mad at you when you give them. Well, it's resentful to a couple things. Number one, I think it's like, my thing is it's always should be a gift. It's not alone. It never can be alone because then all of a sudden, you become the damnably stored hanging over their head, you know.
+00:28:39 - 00:29:09
+ Yeah, how'd that go? I was just the whole time. It went right over my head. I hated history in school. And I was just, well, what's the whole time? I memorizing any history because we've now learned that none of it was true. I got that. When I grew up, I don't know if it's just even what you learned in school, I learned that the Native Americans in the Pilgrims had a fun dinner. That's what I got. I learned that they would put on their best shoes with buckles and their best hat, and they all sat down and shared me.
+00:29:09 - 00:29:39
+ where every time you see them, you're a reminder to them of the thing they haven't given you or the embarrassing thing they had asked for. Where's my money at this? Totally. And then you see them and they're in a new pair of shoes and you're like, you can't really sit in there. Like, no, I just got some of gave you these and they were on sale. I went to Aldo and they were like, they're like, I have your money, but I'm going to get you back, don't worry. And you're like, I don't, you know, I got to the one who was like, it's just to give or I'm going to pay the bill directly. You know, because I can't just give you cash, whatever. And then I think it's a matter of time for they start to hate you because then they start to...
+00:29:39 - 00:30:09
+ to owe you, and then the power dynamic, they gave you a power that you didn't want. I just wanted to like help you out with your rent or help you out with their list. And then it's like, well now, what about next month? What about next month? And then you become this like, you know, authority figure to that kind of thing. I think they. And then we are generous, so it makes it even worse. And then they have to go, like, well, if you gave me more money, I wouldn't be in the situation. You know, I just need, and you're just like, okay. And you know, I owe anybody shit. Ah, I just figured that out like 20 minutes ago. I have to go, why am I doing this?
+00:30:09 - 00:30:39
+ Okay, okay. No, it's true. It's it's really hard for me to compute that, but I think people that are really generous, like that big heart like you, animals, is such a great place to start. I agree. They can't talk back to you either. Exactly. Well, they do. They communicate. They do, but you don't understand. They have time. Yeah, yeah. My god, they're calling me a bitch. I don't know. I don't understand humans at the time. You're like a dog, you're going me a bitch. I mean, you're, that's literally. Yeah, you're a bitch and a bitch. You're going to call the cat all. Yeah, I'm really sitting in the floor and talk to a dog. I'm a person all day.
+00:30:39 - 00:31:09
+ Yeah, okay, so you had fun with Matt right if you had fun with Logan Paul What did you learn anything from all what's that Jake Logan? Oh god? What same death same same death They look like like really been yeah. They do right. I like them. Why do I like them? There's something I like the shamelessness of them blonde I also they're blunt and you know what else I like? I appreciate and this is same with with Tanna It's like people to grow up in public. You might kind of be one of them. You know, I was I did too But not like
+00:31:09 - 00:31:39
+ not like you know it was more like TV like talk shows and stuff like I like when someone makes mistakes and it's like yeah I was a kid. I was an idiot. I messed up and like I'm gonna keep going like you don't have to like totally call it on your career By the way, just you know I do not I laser I have no hair on my body. I see we're talking all the shit from the outside is what I'm hearing rules for the and not coming Back it's like sort of little smithers hairs right now. They're kind of ones that are kind of growing back because my guy I'm finally dating guy who's not gay and
+00:31:39 - 00:32:09
+ He said one day, he just floated by him. He's cool. He's fucked by the way. He is cool. Yeah. He is so cool. He is so cool. It took me so long to realize that what I needed in someone is someone that I'm in awe of and someone that I, because respect to me is the hottest thing. I agree. I agree. I agree. I agree. And we respect nobody. Nothing. That's why it's weird though. Someone that makes me the best version of myself, because I think that I was always like, whatever reason, like whether I learn this, because I came, we're growing up in a, you know, yeah.
+00:32:09 - 00:32:39
+ you know, pugnacious watching divorces and stuff. I thought that in relationship, you were supposed to fight with your person to like, show them how smart you are. Show them how strong you were. Like, show them, you know, your column, yeah, right? Yeah. Well, because we come from, like, when we've been picked on a lot or you come from, you know, like a tricky dysfunctional home, you're like, I got to prove how strong I am. So no one gets anything past me, you know, I got to make sure you don't take advantage of me. Like, you want some level want them to maybe be scared of you. So they don't hurt you. Like, I think I was just trying to feel safe or something or like, make them respect to me, but I don't know what we're talking about.
+00:32:39 - 00:33:09
+ you can't do that, you were in respect, you can't make someone respect you. And then I got with this guy and I was just like, I never want to argue with you. You win everything, like I just have so much respect for him and I never feel the need to pull that shit. Did you make him swallow an air tag? I think pokey needs to swallow an air tag. This is really funny, you should do air tags that's say pokey. This is really funny, you said this because I did a day to guy who swallowed an air bud. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
+00:33:09 - 00:33:39
+ think. Kinda the same thing because you get to like hear everything it was going on. I don't have a listen. He's talking to a bitch. Is that what I'm hearing? So I think it's dick and I just hear voices through his double eyelids. It's like a 50 cent song. You're like, what the fuck are you going on? Meaning man. What? Can you turn off Rogan, he's my friend. And so I literally was like, how do you know that story? It's the one thing I haven't shared publicly and then I just did. But yeah, but it's also the first time I've been in a relationship where I'm not thinking about where he is, I don't like, I just... You trust him. I'm 100% and not only that. Like when we're not together.
+00:33:39 - 00:34:09
+ I just like I'm like I'm like I'm like it's weird. I'm like a fan And that's how it should be I think so too. Hey, it's you like a little soft girl you know how to be like a hard ass gangster. You know that's what it is. I'm a gangster Yeah, by the way, do it but I you know what's weird. I was dating this guy once Athlete professional athlete and I remember cuz I guess just because what I do and you know I thought if a guy wanted to date me he wanted like a challenge. You know cuz guy say that a lot like and I think they believe you know. I know. No. I know. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
+00:34:09 - 00:34:39
+ Maze, they had corn and they had a corner copy and it went great. And then they have a turkey too? Yeah. I had a damn turkey too. So you got lectured about history. So you now know what to not do while hosting a podcast. Christopher Columbus, Elbow, Shamblu, and 1962. 4392. Okay, he didn't taste me very fucking much. I think the most history until now has kind of been gossip, right? Yeah. I mean, it's kind of just like, you know what I mean? Well, I feel like if I want a battle, I'd be like, not only am I going to tell this story, but I'm also going to say like my opponent was like fat. Yeah, you know what I mean. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
+00:34:39 - 00:35:09
+ You know right now, no guy said that and I think this is probably a guy being full of shit trying to flirt or saying what I think They think I would want to know. I love a good challenge I say it here's the thing but I know but guys don't hear what their guy friends say to girls like you guys don't Jim saying I always have to tell my guy friends like you know that your home is cry to us, right? And that they you know, it's a whole last thing so we see a different side of your home is in you do and They'll be like and I want to girl who calls me out on my shit They always say that I want to girl that's like and when you do they're like BODY
+00:35:09 - 00:35:39
+ say the I know and then three months in you're like hey why do you have two phones and they're like what are you talking to me yeah I'm gonna hear talking about this bitch you're with me that's my friend yeah okay I really and I said to him I was like we were arguing about something and again because I thought I had to like prove I was smart or strong or something like that and then I was like well I thought you you know wanted a challenge like I thought men wanted you know you date me if you want a challenge and he was not sad unless you want it because I will give you a challenge what man would everyone a challenge
+00:35:39 - 00:36:09
+ What may I put everyone in the house and not like blew my mind but I thought it was my job to be a challenge I think this is what it is. Yeah you want to hard time. I'll give you hard time. Well no, and also two we think it's like, did you bust every guy's balls this hard? There's just me and then we start thinking and it's like so who are all these guys? They just kind of got to like hook up with you and go on with their life and not deal with any of this bullshit. I'm dealing with right now So it's just kind of puts it in perspective and you're like damn fuck I can just maybe get out of here. I fuck this. I'm a little bit an orbit. I do think though it takes a while to fix it.
+00:36:09 - 00:36:39
+ out who you are so it's hard to know what you even want but I spent so much time going like I'm gonna go to therapy to learn how to be this person and I'm gonna you know go to I go to the talk step meetings for something called Alan and I'm growing up and I'll call the com and with drug out of com and I'm gonna like learn how to be this and I'm gonna be more patient and I'm gonna be more this and I'm gonna wear this push-up bra and I'll wear these shoes and I'll act this way and I'll laugh when he makes a joke because I tend to not laugh a lot of things because I'm a comic and is whatever I'm gonna fake-lact in ten of a sudden I was like I don't need to change anything about myself I just have to be authentic and then I'll actually attract the right person because when you're pretending or you're trying to be something you think
+00:36:39 - 00:37:09
+ You want, you're gonna, they're gonna be attracted to a fake version of you. And then in six months are you're gonna be so exhausted for tending that you're gonna like fall apart one day and just like, they're gonna be like, who's this person? You're like, those are me. You know? That's a round-day and that's me. You're not even loving me. You're not loving me. You're not loving me. You're not loving me. You're not even loving me. You're not loving me. You're not loving me. You're not loving me. And they're like, why did you just pretend to be someone for this? See this time you get away. You gotta give like a, maybe a 30-month free trial, and be like, oh, sweet little girl, you know, nothing whatsoever. Then once you get in with a hook, you got them for good, then you can show them to real you. Yeah.
+00:37:09 - 00:37:39
+ I'm a m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-
+00:37:39 - 00:38:09
+ I've got upset. Yeah, no, tell me about it. What do you mean? What do you mean? Like, he's not took me on a date ship. How long have you been hanging? It's been like on and off for like three years. And you've never been on an actual date? We'd just like start to get in serious, like a few months ago. And I still haven't been on a date. I'm gonna say something wild. Do it. I'm on his side. Hear me out. How old is he? 24, four. Here's what I'll say. I'm on his side, but he's doing something right like.
+00:38:09 - 00:38:39
+ accident, not on purpose. I think that you're going out right now. It could make the dynamic awkward. My dude is a public figure. When we didn't go out in public together for, I mean, we together, I mean, I mean, truly a year, we just started going out in public together in the last, like, couple. And I'm so glad we didn't, didn't do it. I didn't know he was very famous. They got that I'm with. He's very famous to people and I wouldn't have been spooked early on. So I just wouldn't want him to see how famous you actually are. That's spooky.
+00:38:39 - 00:39:09
+ What? Yeah, you know what I'm about to do. Or like to want to have this romantic night and then you go out And then you get to moralize or like depressed because you can't just like have this moment with him I mean I'm sure you could there's a way to do it you guys could get a boat or something You know what to do? Why is there anything either? Like oh, you gotta do speed me. Yeah, okay. That's it I know what I'm talking about Good to go. Okay, cute. Have you told him that? He did take me to talk about it. Okay. Well I ain't more than he did, okay. I was a Lord ass. What does he do? What does he do? What is he a national?
+00:39:09 - 00:39:39
+ So he works in Nashville. He does like construction stuff love it love it You look at me also when he comes home from his construction job. There's food weighted I mean, I could do that I don't know weird like that like you got to earn that for me. Okay. I don't think he's earned that just shit I just don't there's this new thing where like I don't know women that are like Things that are empowered like I'm a feminist. I don't cook on clean. I'm like no, I like do
+00:39:39 - 00:40:09
+ stupid. Like you know, I'm going to add insult to it too. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Because he's not here and set the record. Right. There was no way. I want people like what if chat, chat, GPT like Photoshop's photos. It's like we had paintings before where the king was telling them what to paint. I mean, that was probably worse than Photoshop. Yeah. Happy, right. My monolation. So you've had Jake Paul. You've had, I don't know what order you're going to do this end, but you've had Jake Paul on. Yes. Is that it? Yes. So far. Jake's pretty well. He is a little spooky to talk to. That's like a man, you know. Yes.
+00:40:09 - 00:40:39
+ Like what do you do exactly? Because bitch. Where you just like a hungry filthy bitch? What do you, you filthy bitch? What do you bring to the table? Yeah. Not a loved-cling, Glent and Julie fun. But that might be cute till like, if you could just go order in for him, or go pick up your... What did Yester thing? You know? I was saddened, not what I was having a while. She knew what him say at her house. Nice. Good shit, hey. I'm not going to sit there and ask her, hey Grannie, can my man stay tonight? That's a conversation, I'm not, Grannie would not care. I didn't even know what he meant at night.
+00:40:39 - 00:41:09
+ I just, I don't know, I weirds me out. Fair enough. So he can't sleep over. He could sleep in another room? I don't think she'd care, but I just, I don't wanna have conversations all it is. I don't mind that. I like that. That's like, that's like, that's gritty. I think, I'm like a pamphee, you know? You know what I appreciate? A moral compass. Yeah. I appreciate that. I appreciate a capacity for shame and embarrassment. Is the real reason you haven't slept over at his house, is because you're scared to clog his toilet in the morning? Is that what this is really all about? Okay, okay, just cause we, bye.
+00:41:09 - 00:41:39
+ What do you even call it? Lactos and Colourette. Lactos and Colourette. Full of shit. I am full of shit. Both ways. Yeah, probably would clogged. But you gotta just make a Starbucks run or you know what I mean? Get out of the shit plan when there's a sleepover. But by the way, does your shit plan, Jamie? You want to hear my shit plan? It's actually fucking great. This is so fun. I live right up the block from here. So if there's ever a situation where I have to shit really bad in them with a girl, I always go, oh my god, there's an emergency at the office. And then the garage, I'll be right back to stay here.
+00:41:39 - 00:42:09
+ right now. That's the people still do phones like that. Yeah, right. Like it still works like that. And then I'll just come here when no one's here and just come upstairs and shit and then go back home and I'm like, yeah I had to let my friend out of the garage, everything's fine. Let's go back to sleep. That's what I do. I come here every time. Well, see my issue. I'm sure his bathroom, well, his old apartment, I'm sure he's fixing a map into his new one. I don't know where his bathroom is just yet. But his other bathroom, it was like right in the bedroom. And you can hear me on my way when I'm in their whole zone of the freaking toilet seat in the damn wall. Turn the shower on dear. That's my move. It's just...
+00:42:09 - 00:42:39
+ It's like a good transition. They won't know anything else. Yeah, yeah, that's smart. So it's like you close the door, turn the shower on, do your shit, have perfume in there with you. But if they have a fan, that's better. Do you remember that game I mentioned beforehand where you can went up to a thousand times your money? Well, turns out and gets even better. Better picks is offering a deposit match up to $200. And a free pick for all new users. So basically, if you put like $200 in, they match it. That's $400 right there. If you haven't downloaded better and started playing yet, do it right now and get your deposit match. Do that thing in the lawn.
+00:42:39 - 00:43:09
+ Let's get a ton of money this NFL season. You ever had to shit in a man's house. Yeah, I just shit I don't even try to hide it Okay We got it we got it We're gonna make her in stainlessin I just I call shit in which house I mean she's hot to spit on that thing I want to shit on that Okay, baby
+00:43:09 - 00:43:39
+ Yeah, I just dab, I mean that is, Jamie what do you do? I managed spit girl and shit girl. What do you do? Two girls one cup was very good. There's people who miss the opportunity to represent those hot tub levels. I think it's the one place to take top. And I was like yeah, sure hot too, girls. Like onto something. But she said she spits on it, well, I fart on it. And I was like, oh, I don't know where I said it at all. Yeah, I'm friends with a lot of male comedians. Farting porn is a big thing. Where girls just fart at, like a quave for like, it's like a fart out there, but quave thing I'm sure.
+00:43:39 - 00:44:09
+ I think do I haven't, I haven't dabbled in that yet. Also by the way, started to make such a hairpin turn here, I was given T-Treat Oil to give you for your words. The fuck guy heard that. The fuck guy. Yeah, yeah. I hate that this isn't my pocket. Is this for genital words or- It's actually blue awful. I'm kidding. I'm gonna lie. Now I can lose when I'm on my foot. I don't know what the fuck it's from. I'm pod. The airport before I figured out to where socks and that motherfucker's. Why do you look at me like, I'm in charge of the airports. I don't know what that- Nobody told me I had to take my shoes off. I had to-
+00:44:09 - 00:44:39
+ The TSA. Oh yeah, Hayley's first flight ever, Whitney by the way. Her first flight she ever went on, it was like three weeks ago now, maybe a month ago. Yeah, you never... She's... She never flown before you went viral. No, and everything in my damn, like, carry on. She brought them nice. Okay, it was two knobs and they got confiscated. You brought knives to the airport. Yeah. You got a little girl going out here somewhere. She's never been unarmed. You lost your fucking mind. You don't weapons and de tia say. In 20, 20 months. It's like male, what's this? I was like, oh, you could keep it.
+00:44:39 - 00:45:09
+ do you? Okay, I know you don't care that much about history, but do you know about nine eleven? Do you ever hear about this? I mean, dude, you going to the air, that is like cat William's level, bonkers, dude. Like this is like Dr. Dre doesn't bring knives to the air for it, I respect this, so they took your knives? Well, I'm always like, you know, panic, if I'm looking at a big crowd of people, I'm like watching what's going on around, as you should. Yeah, tell about people nowadays, you're going to worry about people trying to kid
+00:45:09 - 00:45:39
+ Not like a little soft boy, no, it's easy to talk to that. That's a whole man right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm a little less girl over here talking to those grown and I was like, I'm talking about, you know? You knew him before, right? Were you a man before? Yeah, I watched him for a few years. And what you notice seeing the difference between being a fan of someone from afar and then meeting him? Like, is it what you expected? He was exactly what I expected. Like, he lets all like he's an asshole. And that's what I like about him. He owns up to that shit. He knows it. So I got respect for him for the...
+00:45:39 - 00:46:09
+ you and every fucking thing I was trying to hurt you. Yeah, you look exactly like the grand taken. I mean, this is like, it's like you look you did not. This is what traffic are looking for. It's not hard to, I know. Yeah, but it tossed me in a fucking van and scooch off with my ass. I said, no, no more talk to for you. I'm in a way, train never coming back. I'm in a lot of clutter too. Yeah. You had a box cutter? Johnny got rid of it. I'll take that, actually. This isn't anything. This isn't your Hollywood fucking managers they get bow tots are giving.
+00:46:09 - 00:46:39
+ you fake witch serum for your war. You got to go to CVS and get like a doctor shoals thing to burn it off. No, that's going hard. It's not going to hurt. What's that? That was a little lady. That was a little. It was first of all, it's not going to airwarm. Okay. Like you weren't I went one time. We're not going to we MC Hammer where you make all this money and you get successful. And then you're going to airwarm and spending $200 on a fucking burrito. It's crazy. It's insane. That's the never not thing. I don't live in poverty anymore. Dude, you asked me to go. I don't know, shopping and spend dirty.
+00:46:39 - 00:47:09
+ I start I say you're fucking crazy as you should because you're money. You make a more money you spend and when you get that first tax bill You're gonna realize you don't have as much money as you think I don't got a whole laid out of it like the other day our bank manning I'm a shit Taxes are fixing the But your in Nashville is your primary residence. Yeah. So you're fine. The amount of money. I have terrible, but it's It's a mess around here on the West Coast. Yeah, so it's it helped me when my business manager told me any amount of money You have you have half whatever number you see you have half right with agents managers You're paying everyone you know and then and
+00:47:09 - 00:47:39
+ I mean, you look at what's something costs. Just multiply it by three, and that's how much it really costs. So this is $150, oh my god, it's actually if to earn 150 to be able to afford it. That's what's so- So that really helped me, because every time I leave everyone to get groceries, I'm like, that was a laptop. Who the fuck got a beta phone from out taxes? Well, if there's a next round of January 6, I feel like you'd fit right in, storming the capital. I feel like you just take that pillow where it is a hat, and you just go in and let them know. I'm sick of you, and I'm sick of your bullshit. Yeah, yeah.
+00:47:39 - 00:48:09
+ Yeah. Okay, you think. I'll find my money and I don't get keep any of it. No, back to everyone, that was a crock of shit. Here's the thing, some of the food is good. It's not $20. Exactly. First smoothie, good. Well, everyone's like my favorite night club in the city. The one good thing about that place is that's just, you'll find the best looking women maybe on planet Earth. Yeah, that's a bad business. Yeah. But they're bad with money, bad with money bitches. So if you go and air wanting to see a hot chick that is a red flag because they're in debt from buying haily beavers come.
+00:48:09 - 00:48:39
+ Smoothie whatever the fuck that is. That's why it's so expensive, hey lady, didn't know. What's in there? Oh, not you yours I do not I'm saying I mean look a lot of men that are gold dig They want to be gold dig. That's yeah, that's the thing I love you're like why is all your photos your watches in your cars like this is what you're leading with this What you want you know it's transactional you're using her for body She's using her for money. It seems like I don't know if I can ever do that though I'd like to make him like put a bag over his head or something because let out man try to kiss me I'm gonna sucker punch that bitch right now
+00:48:39 - 00:49:09
+ That's the whole point of making money is that you never have to be in our relationship. You don't want to be in. The best thing about having money is in one minute is you get to date broke guys. There's so much better at sex, there's so much nicer. Yeah. You could date like a painter. Oh, about like either. I don't want anybody like getting close to me. Like that either. Yeah, dude. But then if it's a good person, it's actually a good thing is what I'm learning. Yeah, yeah. I think it's much to be careful. I think it's good to be really careful. I don't think you can move slow enough. I think I think we've, I think every relationship I look back on, I'm like, if I just moved a little slower, I would have realized like we're just meant to be homies. We should.
+00:49:09 - 00:49:39
+ just been friends. And we like started sleeping together and then you get chemically addicted then and then you're I've been in so many situations where I've I love someone but I don't like them. I'm like I'm chemically addicted to you like I love you but I don't want to hang out with you. I don't like talking to you. Well shit. What? My ex-boyfriend that that's kind of how that I love you but I don't like you. We have to be homeless too, you know. Yeah. Me and him are really good friends before that though. Yeah. Yeah. What is your new guy think of all this? Hey, Pookey. Yeah. Asked him yesterday as like I bet you feel like you on top of the world.
+00:49:39 - 00:50:09
+ world. She and he is like, oh no, I don't really think about it much. And I was like, well, I mean, I don't have any difference that I did before. Of course. Of course. It's your just gonna work. But he's on a little pedestal now. Come on. It's good that he's not from here. Because an LA boy would take that he'd be posting everything. Oh, I'm dating Hock 2. I mean, it would be. Hey, get humble. Very quick. Well, here's a problem with LA. You're from LA. I'm from here, yeah. You're one of the few though. Here's the thing. I don't think it's the people from LA. I think it's the people that come to LA, and the people who grow up here don't care of him.
+00:50:09 - 00:50:39
+ people. They're like we've seen it all. I went to high school with them. literally no. Yeah. You know so it's the people the people that moved to L.A. are all the prom queens, the people like go out of their way to seek fame and they're obsessed with it. Right? That's not a lot about it. The one thing I do like about being here, it's too big. But you can walk down straight. Nobody just does not fail. No one cares. No one cares. No one cares. Because everyone thinks they're the celebrity. Please take this part. By the way, Kathy Griffin does the funniest thing. I don't know if you know she's a comedian. Like, you know, she talks about celebrities, you know, she did the show.
+00:50:39 - 00:51:09
+ I like that. I can be an asshole too. And he's comfortable with controversy. Yeah. He's okay with it. I think that's one of the most important skills now. It's being comfortable with letting people project onto you. And if you stand up for yourself a little bit, if you want to win a fight your asshole, it's like, all right, just project whatever you want. I know that my identity at a certain point is kind of like a mixture of who I am and what you project onto me. Yeah. I mean, you can't place them all either. No. I can't find that. Then, I'm Matt Rove.
+00:51:09 - 00:51:39
+ life on the D-Less, sort of big comedian, and she got in a lot of trouble because she held up a head of Trump and it was kind of a whole saga during the pandemic. The point is she has a really funny thing where she says, say congratulations to anyone on the street in LA and they will say, thank you. And I was like, oh, come on, whatever. She's like, no, try it. Like as a famous person, like she could just be run home and build a yard and just some random person. She was like, hey, congratulations. Some random girls, like 25 was like, thank you so much. Thank you.
+00:51:39 - 00:52:09
+ Like, she probably went on a commercial audition and then you'd be like, every month. Everyone in their head is like famous and doing so well. Like if somebody famous says to you, congratulations and you're like, how thanks. What did I tell you, Arla? I was like, I like how it smells up here and she's like, when you mean about that, I was like, well, smells like pot, you know, it also smells like crushed durings. I kinda do it. You were coming in at Play. LA is now just kind of this weird black mirror simulation now. It's like China's bought every building and it's all just like weird empty, like money laundering schemes, like it kind of like something like, you're missing like the standard hood.
+00:52:09 - 00:52:39
+ And like how sublues is closed now. It's kind of a weird vibe. Did you grow up here or no? No, I'm JC. I'm like Virginia. Yeah, but it's like Jim Blue she died at the shot. Like people were just dying all the time. It was sick. Um, you know, what John John. John Blue she look all white men look the same. Yeah. Yeah. And oh yeah, Jim Blue. She is just here. Right? Or. That's his brother. Right. Right. Right. Right. We 4.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5.5
+00:52:39 - 00:53:09
+ get it, we got it. Let's, no, yeah, John, John Belushe's the one that died. Okay, they're shut to my mouth. And then, Joaquin, which is the Phoenix River? River. River's the one that died. I can flate brothers. I don't think more than one sibling should be famous. Alec and Steven and Billy. I couldn't pick him out in the line of the same life. So, how did you get broke into this? Dis, like, how did you start out? Back, childhood, yeah.
+00:53:09 - 00:53:39
+ Like every entertainer my parents were all colleagues and ignored me. I mean, I'm not even really joking Because when people asked me to like what did you do to get this? And I'm like, I did start with a very big like God-sized hole that was like trying to get approval from alcoholics You know trying to make alcoholics laugh. I was trying to make people on drugs like calm down and stop yelling And I was trying to keep the mood light because everyone was fighting and you know That's kind of what stand-up is you go and fight over a bunch of drunk people and you try to make them laugh and show them up You know, so I you know when people say like I want to understand about my
+00:53:39 - 00:54:09
+ Okay, like, you know, let's first make sure your childhood was terrible. You know, we've been joke-a-friend of mine as a comedian, Annie Letterman, and she talks about like, you know, going through like childhood trauma and stuff. We joke that like if you've been like molested as a girl, it's like dopeing in sports. Like you have an advantage, like the more trauma you have in the funnier you end up being. But I, you know, you know, study theater and college and all that kind of stuff. I, you know, I study journalism as well, which I, journalism used to be-
+00:54:09 - 00:54:39
+ this thing where individuals would tell the truth about what was happening in the world, it ended like 10 years ago. But you know, now the news is actually fiction. And all media is documentaries that are literally so completely flipped. But studying journalism, I think was kind of my way subconsciously. Like being a comedian, you're kind of like a silly journalist in a way. Like talking about current events, you're trying to investigate things and figure out and you know, it's also a little bit like being able to...
+00:54:39 - 00:55:09
+ like I was saying comedy, you say something that's not true and then you prove it, you know? Like I was like, I want to be a lawyer, I want to be a journalist, and you know, I remember I got an internship at a new station. Again, the news used to be this thing where people would tell the truth about events. So I got an internship at a new station and they let me read the teleprompter to like make a video to like send around to try to get like a job or something. And they let me read the local news, which local news is always insane. It's always like, is lead poisoning your ch-
+00:55:09 - 00:55:39
+ Wildren, five out after the break. Was it something with lettuce, if you were seeing it? They'll like the dough and get lettuce. Yeah, everybody gets sick from it. Yeah, yeah, definitely. At all things. But they're just trying to keep you watching. So there's like a sensational and insane as possible and all the men are in drag, the women are in black. That's what Big Sugar wants you to think that lettuce is bad for you. Big Sugar, yeah. It's a haul of polite by Big Sugar. Big lettuce, sir. Big lettuce is fucking taken a massive hit. Yeah. And so I was reading it and it was some horrible story I think that was really good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was really good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
+00:55:39 - 00:56:09
+ kid that got kidnapped, and, you know, something just awful, and they show a picture of the kid, and it was, I mean, luck, when you grew up the way, you know, you grew up the way I grew up, like, horrible things. We just have to laugh, you know, it's not the best way to do with it, though. It's how we cope. Does it mean I'm happy that a kid disappeared or anything? But it was like, oh, this kid ran away from home, and they show the picture and he was a bigger kid, and I was like, you know, whoever kidnapped him must be very strong, like, I was just like, baby Joe. She wanted me in. I'm like, oh, who would have kidnapped him? Like, whatever. He's like, I get why I couldn't run away.