Subject: Management Lessons

<< > Lesson Number One  >  *****************  >   A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
>  A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you  >  and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the  >  rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden,  >  a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
>  >  Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing,  >  you must be sitting very, very high up.
>  >  Lesson Number Two  >  *****************  >   A turkey was chatting with a bull.
>  >  "I would love to be able to get to the top of that  >  tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy.
>  >  "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my  >  droppings?"
replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."
>  >  The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that  >  it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first  >  branch of the tree.
>  >  The next day, after eating some more dung, he  >  reached the second branch.
>  Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly  >  perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer,  > who  >  shot the turkey out of the tree.
>  >  Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the  >  top, but it won't keep you there.
>  >  Lesson Number Three  >  *******************  >   When the body was first made, all the parts wanted  >  to be Boss.
> The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's  >  responses and functions."
>  >  The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about  and  >  get him to where he wants to go."
>  >  The hands said, "We should be the  Boss because we do all the work  >  and earn all the money."
>  >  And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs  >  and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.
All the parts laughed  >  at the idea of the asshole being the Boss.
So the asshole went on  >  strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time the  > eyes  >  became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and  >  lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.
Eventually they all decided  > that  >  the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.
All the other  >  parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
>  >  Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be a  >  Boss - any asshole will do.
>  >  Lesson Number Four  >  ******************  >   A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It  >  was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
> While  >  it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the  >  frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how  > warm  >  it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and  >  happy and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird  >  singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered  >  the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate  >  him!
>  >                          Management Lessons:  >  >           1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is  >  your enemy.
>           2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is  >  your friend.
>           3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your  >  mouth shut!
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