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"I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry", Astoria cried. |
"You were perfect", Moody said to her, blood spilling from his mouth. "This was my fault. I will do better. Wait for me here again tomorrow". |
What? Tomorrow? |
She nearly killed him, or so she though. How was he going to duel again? It was insane to her. People came. A nurse. They took him away. She felt she was left unpunished. Snape came from somewhere behind her. |
"Don’t cry", he said coldly. "You did that". |
No one spoke to her after this. |
No one spoke to her after this. |
Moody didn’t come as he had to spend a week in the nursery after nearly losing his arm. That night she couldn’t sleep. She went into the library and got any information she could find on her family. Restricted section, this time. |
It was an ancient bloodline. They all had distinguished features, but they were so few truly accomplished. Not more than twenty, or so she could find. |
They come somewhere from France. Then moved to Brittan, where she was born. They had different facial features. Her grandfather was called the most powerful wizard. He was also a threat to the wizarding world and almost caused a war. |
They were all dark wizards – |
The eyes were somehow connected to their ability to control a person’s consciousness. It wasn’t like the curse Imperio. It was penetrating someone’s mind. They could trap him in it and make him go insane. A few cases were reported in newspapers, because it was a very specific and unique way to break someone’s mind. |
Astoria stared at the darkness around her in horror. It wasn’t like that. She was a girl. It couldn’t be. Her hand traced the words in the books, searching for more. |
Pyromancy, powerful flames. Astoria knew she never had this. She was in fact afraid of fire and never even got close to it without fainting. If she was her family’s hope, they were doomed. |
Nicola Elroy was always portrayed with a dragon. It had no wings and it looked like a lizard but was in a sense a dragon, it just didn’t look like the typical species in Western Europe. That seemed like more of a symbol of power rather than a real thing. |
He was my friend, she heard Dumbledore’s voice, yet there was no trace of that in the books or in old yellowish newspapers. |
Astoria tried to find some information on her father, but there was also none. She also learned her family is one of the richest there is, yet she had no idea could she ever have a share of their fortune. Probably not. It didn’t matter. |
A son could, she tried to push this thought away. After what Dumbledore told her she was terrified of Draco Malfoy. He broke something in her. As if she kept it locked and he managed to let it out. She wanted him so bad; she would let him do anything to her – |
Put a baby in me, she shivered in horror. Anything but that, as her stomach turned just with the thought of it. So, she avoided him. Tried to run away. Not to speak to him. Pansy saw this as an opportunity and occupied him with herself as much as she could. It was a favor to Astoria, though she probably didn’t realize it. |
She didn’t really speak to Harry either. Him, being a boy, also made him in a way dangerous, she figured. Maybe it was too extreme, but she was so afraid. |
He also didn’t seem to wish to speak to her. He passed her in the hallways looking down somehow ashamed. It was hard to read his face. Hermione wouldn’t look at her. Ron glared at her one time with disgust. Fucking Weasley. |
The inevitable finally happened. On her way to Slytherin’s common room Draco crossed her path. He looked surprised to see her as he turned towards her. Astoria panicked when she recognized his white hair and not so graciously turned her back on him, trying to hurry. He caught her by her hand and forced her to look at him. |
"You’re running away from me", he said angrily. |
"I don’t know what you mean", she regretted it the moment the words came out of her mouth as she knew it was a pitiful attempt. |
"You lie to me", he said, his cold eyes piercing her. |
Before Astoria could think of a response, he dragged her into a small corridor. The same he proposed to her to go to the Yule Ball. It seemed rather quiet and private. |
He could fuck me here, she realized with horror. |
"What’s wrong with you?", he said angrily, "I’m not going to let you go until you tell me". |
There were a lot of things that were wrong with her. She almost left an ex-auror without a hand. |
"If you didn’t want me to push you like that, you could’ve just said. I asked", Malfoy broke the silence and he sounded somehow angry. |
Her eyes opened wide when she saw the opening, he somehow gave her himself. And it was because Draco thought he went too far, that it was she who was ashamed. He must of spent at least some time thinking about that night just like she, but there was no way to tell the actual truth of what followed. |
"I’m sorry. I was a virgin", Astoria said the only thing on her mind, though she didn’t wish for him to know. |
"Was?", he asked with surprise. |
"Am, still am a virgin", she corrected herself trying not to meet his eyes. |
"I always thought you and Potter", he said quietly then went silent and stared at her. "I could be gentle", he finally spoke softly. |
It hurt hearing it from him, even more painful with this soft voice that made her believe him. |
"I don’t want to have sex with you", she said coldly. |
"I think you’re lying to yourself", he said, even more icy. His whole face changed, matching her expression. |
He was probably right, but she couldn’t risk it. This was no longer about kisses and all those tender touches, it was a power play. |
"I can’t have sex, I’m sorry. Fuck Pansy instead", she spat at him. |
"I’ve already fucked her", he snapped at her, angrier than before. |
She froze. Had he? When? Is this why Pansy was so bubbly around him again? Hatred grabbed her heart in a fist as Astoria looked at him, her eyes dark with rage. |
"What is your problem? I thought you wanted me?" |
"And now you can’t handle the rejection of the possibility that I no longer want you?", she sounded like him. |
Maybe all this cold rage was a mask he wore, it occurred to her. Just like she did now. |
"I don’t believe you and I am sick of these catlike games. I am not someone you toy around with.", he shouted at her. |
Astoria panicked as she thought they could be discovered. By instinct she came closer to him, to tell him to shut up but he grabbed her. Draco pushed her next to the wall, his hand on her mouth. Just like before. His leg between hers, this time, on purpose as he moved his knee towards her. |
He watched her as her face grew red and smiled victorious. |
"Why do you lie to me?", he asked, burying his face in her hair, "And to yourself?" |
It felt good. Something inside her tingled. Astoria opened her eyes and pushed his hand away from her face with all the strength she had. |
"You’re using me", she gasped. |
Draco looked relaxed, still touring over her, having her pressed in the corner with his body. It seemed he was neither surprised nor impressed by that acquisition. |
"If I wanted an easy fuck I’d use Pansy. She is desperately in love with me", he said coldly. |
A very needed reminder how cruel he was. That he’d do that to a stupid girl and have his way just because he could. Then blame it on her and her "love" for him. |
"It’s not about the sex", she finally said, "It’s about my name". |
Draco Malfoy went silent. Studying her. He always had the right words, a comment ready to spit back at anyone. His tongue stung like a scorpion’s tail. Now he was silent? Now, after all the accusations and offences she threw at him, this is where he stopped? |
It was true, she thought to herself with horror. |
"I already have a powerful name attached to me. I have the money as well. What could you possibly give to me?", he said and then cruelly added, "Besides sex?" |
"It’s not as powerful as mine", she hissed. |
Draco laughed, his hand on her chin, almost gripping her face. |
"You were nameless not long ago. Careful now, you grow prideful, Elroy". |
She did, she realized. Astoria was beginning to like being an Elroy. Knowing her blood is pure, not that it mattered to her but apparently it did to others. And what she did to Moody. It kept her awake at night because she was afraid how good it felt. |
"No more smart comments?", he hissed as his hand slid down from her face directly to her chest. She tried to flinch, but he held her. |
His hand didn’t just stop at her breast but pulled out her shirt and went underneath. His skin was always warm. She gasped from it as if she burned herself. Draco held her wrists tightly in his grip and watched her stretch underneath him, trying to escape his trap. |
His fingers finally reached her breasts as he pushed away her bra. It felt good. He caressed her nipple, pinched it, then touched it gently as he played with her. It ripped a heavy gasp from her, almost a moan she tried to drown in her mouth but failed. |
"Surprisingly agreeable", he noted as he explored beneath her shirt. |
Astoria forced herself to meet his gaze. He looked beautiful. His eyes hungry with lust, from grey to almost black. |
"I’m going to scream", she finally said. |
"I hope it’s my name", he whispered to her and bit her neck. |
Astoria watched as her body betrayed her and a lustful gasp came out of her mouth. There was something not right with him. This was Draco Malfoy, he had perfect self-control, but now seemed so little like himself. Maybe it was just his lust. Even he was a teenage boy with desires. |
"Say it", he hissed. |
"Harry", she said between breathing. |
Draco immediately stepped back from her. He looked at her as if he could kill her. For a moment she got scared he might even hit her as he looked so enraged by what she had just done. |
"You’re such a cunt", he hissed. The ice cold mask was back on his face, no expression and nothing but arrogance and anger. He didn’t wait for a response, but just left her there. |
The realization of what had just happened quickly came to her as she tried to put back on her bra and tuck in her shirt. |
After that he completely ignored her. He kissed Pansy one time in the hallway. A hungry kiss, like all of his kissed on her. |
This made her furious with rage. And that was good because it was helping her with her training with Moody. |
"Your family will come for you. Maybe not now but they will eventually and they have all the money in the world to hunt you down." |
Alastor Moody was circling around her. Astoria’s training with him was getting serious. She had to do this everyday now after he recovered. |
Astoria managed to fix her aim, though she remained weak and the constant need to grab her wand to balance her magic was there. |
Wands make it easier, you don’t get easy, he told her. |
Another thing he used to say was "Fight like your ancestors", this one she liked. It made her feel powerful. When she dared to dream, she would imagine a hidden power in her skin. Something that echoed in her bones and if she managed to hear what it is – then maybe she could call it. |
It also brought her comfort to think she had some kind of family. Dead, she reminded herself but at least she knew her name and where she comes from. |
Her favorite was to imagine one of her supposed accomplished ancestors. She read about him. The name stuck out because it was unusual and very not-French – Ivan the Cruel. He was described to be more than 6 feet tall and had long black hair that he kept in a braid. He died young before reaching thirty, but he had the eyesight of her family at the tender age of nine. |
They burned his family alive out of fear. They also destroyed their home and tried to end the bloodline. From the age of nine he was an orphan and running for his life. Then he grew and changed the direction of the war. It was him who was hunting them down. Countless names of those who fell victims to his wrath. By the time he reached full adulthood, he had avenged his family and doubled the victory of his ancestor. Because of the blood he spilled it was the color of blood that marked her family crest and was associated to the Elroy legacy. |
She wished she was like him. Strong. Able not only to defend herself but to avenge herself. |
"Every dark wizard will try to use you", Moody continued as he shot curses at her. |
Astoria started to wear her hair in a braid again. It was easier to fight and it made her feel powerful. She also had special clothes for fighting. Alastor Moody had gifted them to her – a black two-piece suit, skintight that stretched with every movement and made her feel light. Some aurors used them and it made her feel powerful enough to dare to dream. |
Dodging his aim became easier as she learned to use her whole body in a fight. She’d jump, run, squat, and even roll on the ground but she managed to doge most of his curses now. |
She knew he was also training Harry after his second challenge in the lake. Now for him was do or die. It felt as if it was like that for her, just no golden cup to win in the end. |
He wants you to fail – |
The voice grew louder in her mind. When she wasn’t occupied with thoughts about Draco and Harry, she could think only about fighting and it gave her the most joy. |
I’m not going to, she hissed back at it. |
An opening. She managed to come close to him. "Confringo" – a blasting curse. Astoria took it and redirected it back at him. It was a new technique he showed her. Very helpful, though it rarely worked on him. She mostly used this as a distraction. |
Call out to the sky – |
She imagined a storm. Lightning everywhere. She’d catch one and the fight will be over. Deadly, one-hit wonder. |
"You’re distracted", Moody called as he suddenly threw himself at her. He laid her on the ground. Her back hurt. |
"I keep thinking about the sky", Astoria confessed to him, as she tried to get back to her feat. |
"There is nothing that could help you there. You’re on the ground, idiot girl", he spat at her. "Again". |
And so, she’d try to push through his defense, fail, then get up. The rage would slip in, maybe help her push her limit, she’d hit him only to see it was a decoy. He was shooting at her from behind. |
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