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"She’s jealous. Ignore her", Athena said to her. |
What was there to be jealous about? Draco handed her another glass. She took a sip and then it hit her. She was dizzy. There were a lot of empty glasses on the table. |
Draco Malfoy was suddenly standing next to her. He leaned over the table and looked down on her. His tie a bit loose, a flush of redness on his cheekbones. |
"Are you okay?", he sounded concerned. |
"Yes", she said coldly. |
"I’m sorry they all stared. I will be more discrete". |
"About what? Insulting me?", Astoria snapped and got up to face him. That was not a smart idea as her vision blurred for a second. Draco grabbed her hand and then gently her waist. |
"You’re making this hard". |
He walked quickly, dragging her behind him. They were playing an easy and fast song. It was popular as she knew it, though she couldn’t really concentrate on the lyrics. She noticed Hermione with Victor. He looked so in love. His hand was in hers and she was blushing. There was no sign of Harry. |
Harry, the name echoed in her mind. Her best friend. |
She found herself again in Draco’s arms. He didn’t start dancing immediately. His hand was again on her neck. He looked at her, consuming her with those greyish eyes. Astoria felt her face blush. |
"It’s so hot when you do that", he purred at her and her whole body shivered. He never spoke like that. To her. To anyone she knew at least. It made her afraid but she didn’t fight it. |
"I’m sorry", she said carelessly as she didn’t know what else to say. He ignored the comment. |
His hands started moving on her body. She was moving with them. Playing her like a puppet on strings. Astoria found herself pushing towards him to her surprise. It was an unusual feeling. Very warm, like it was burning her inside. |
He grabbed her and lifted her while he spun her in the air. She laughed. It was fun. Draco was smiling as well. |
"Did you like that?", he said with surprise. |
"Yes", she let herself smile back at him. He did it a few more times until she was laughing with her hands around him. |
The music was slowed but her heart was skipping beats. It was a new feeling, And Astoria suddenly didn’t care who was watching. It was as if they were alone. |
"Thank you, Draco", a sincere smile on her face. He actually did it, made her happy. |
"You look beautiful", Draco said in her ear, "I’m glad you said yes". |
"You look handsome too", she responded nervously trying to be polite, he laughed at that. |
"I’m bored here". |
"Are you not having fun?", she looked up at him with worry, but he didn’t look bored. Draco looked amused. There was a light redness on his face. It was the alcohol. It did make her relax as well. |
"It’s the opposite. I’m having too much fun". |
His hand slipped down from her waist. Just a bit. She felt it move hesitantly around her hips and lower. Astoria tried not to react. Draco put his other hand on her chin, lifting her up, forcing her to look at him. She didn’t even realize when her hands had moved from his shoulders to his neck, pulling him closer to him. |
And their lips met. He kissed her. Or she kissed him. It all happened so sudden, on the dance floor. But there was no floor under Astoria’s legs. |
It wasn’t her first kiss but it felt like the first real one. He was wanting in his kiss. She thought he could eat her. Draco’s hands suddenly held her stronger and she wasn’t even able to flinch until he let her lips go. |
She was expecting to meet his gaze but he instantly buried his face in her hair. It was now as if she held him up, not the other way around. He was leaning heavy on her. |
"Let’s get out of here", he whispered to her. |
"Where are we going?", she asked hesitantly. |
"I’ll show you". |
Draco turned and walked away immediately. He pulled her, holding her arm. She saw how they glared at her. Surprised. Angry and judgmental, some looked amused. God, she wanted to leave so bad. |
He’d turn to look as if to make sure she was still following him even though his fingers were in a tight grip around her wrist, almost dragging her away. Astoria couldn’t trust her legs, not in this moment. They were going up the moving stairs and he’d guide every step, his voice like a command. |
Then a long corridor. A door opened, an empty classroom. She didn’t have the time to think where they were as he didn’t give her the opportunity to do so. He pushed her to the wall. |
In that moment Astoria realized Draco Malfoy was next to her, his body pressed to hers. Not like on the dance floor. Closer. No eyes to hold him back. An even hungrier kiss followed. Her fingers found themselves in his hair, twisting it. He shivered. It was such a new feeling – watching him lose control. He was always distant, bored, calm, collected. Not like that – hot and messy. |
Draco pulled back and stared at her. Astoria couldn’t even comprehend what was happening. It felt more like a fever dream than reality because she could swear Draco Malfoy couldn’t stand her. |
"If you want, I’ll stop", he said as his voice thinned. |
"What?", Astoria blinked at him. She was holding his shirt, refusing to let go and ready to pull him back in. "Why would I want you to stop?" |
He didn’t ask again. He grabbed her and suddenly lifted her up. Her hair tangled in him. She leaned to kiss him gently, but he was always hungry in his kisses. Then he put her on one of the tables. Spreading her legs as he grabbed them, pulling her closer to him. His body was now pressing into hers. His breath touching her skin, wanting. |
More kisses. But Draco went astray from her lips down to her neck. Astoria felt as if electricity was flowing in her veins. It was a burning feeling and her whole body shivered. All control was lost on her, she didn’t even realize her legs were tightening around him, pulling him closer. |
He was gentle and then he wasn’t. On her neck, next to her collarbone, he sank his teeth and she moaned – |
Draco pulled away to look at her. Astoria couldn’t believe the sound that had just come out of her lips. For a second it seemed he didn’t believe it either, until he grinned wide with a devilish look. |
"I told you I was going to be good to you tonight", he said, his breath heavy. |
She couldn’t say anything back. And he didn’t really let her, kissing and biting her neck, forcing her to moan again, and again. She was going insane. |
Draco seemed to never be satisfied. His hands were on her chest now, his fingers following each curve on her body. Then on her back. Looking for the zipper, Astoria realized with horror. |
Then he changed suddenly his mind. Pushing her back. Grabbing her legs, pulling them closer to him. She could feel his excitement hard in his pants. Pale fingers were in her hair as he kept kissing her, while his other hand went back to explore her body. |
"You want to be spoiled?", he purred in her ear. Astoria nodded in agreement as she could barely speak while gasping for breath. |
"Then say it again", Draco commanded and pushed himself back, refusing to touch her suddenly. |
"Please, spoil me", she pleaded and he came back crashing into her. |
His hand was on her tight next to the burning heat between her legs. He was pushing them to spread. His other hand was lost in her hair, and he continued to kiss and lick her skin. |
"Draco", Astoria said in between moans. |
"Say it again", he groaned. |
"No, Draco, I – Ah". |
He pulled his lips from her body to look at her. She was happy he understood her, as she was still holding onto him. |
"I need to tell you something", Astoria said as she shivered. |
She never did it before. She was a virgin. |
"What?", he snapped as he sounded impatient. |
The door opened. Both of them tried to pull back. Astoria zipped her dress and closed her legs. Minerva McGonagall was staring at them enraged. Next to her was Igor Karkaroff who looked more confused than angry. |
"This is unacceptable!" she shouted at them. |
Shame sunk into her chest. Astoria got off the table and almost fell out of balance. Draco tried to turn and help her but immediately met McGonagall’s unapproving gaze. |
"Don’t you dare, young man", she snapped at him with a pointed finger that somehow seemed more threatening than a wand and he remained frozen. "What do you think you’re doing?" |
It was a rhetorical question. Both of them blinked back at her. |
"Both of you", McGonagall said as her breath cut her off for a bit between screams. "Snape’s office!" |
She pulled herself away from the door and pointed at them to move along. They did. Astoria tried not to meet his eyer or McGonagall’s. She felt horribly embarrassed. Maybe that was his plan all along. |
Snape’s office was like a mini-potion laboratory. He was the Head of Slytherin. Explaining to him the situation sounded absurd to her. Astoria hoped she didn’t need to say a word as he would know instantly by Marlin’s grace. That also seemed like a horrible thing to consider. |
"I’m going to bring Severus, don’t you dare move an inch from your chairs", McGonagall threatened them. |
"We won’t", Draco said, irritated. |
She left them. Probably for a bit. There was an awkward silence between them with the realization of what they just did or were about to do. |
"What did you wanted to tell me?", he interrupted what seemed to Astoria as sacred silence. |
"Forget it", she cut him off. There was no way any of it was real. |
"We won’t be in trouble", he said as if he had just read her mind, "My father can fix this. But I don’t think they would punish us for having some fun after the ball". |
"Maybe you should think again", Snape’s cold voice echoed in the room as he entered and closed the door behind them. |
Astoria jumped in her seat. Unwillingly she met Snape’s eyes. He didn’t seem angry, but rather annoyed that he had to be there. She turned herself so she wouldn’t feel his punishment only to take a look at Draco and realize how the situation looked. Her lipstick was smeared on his face, on his neck and on places on his white shirt. His sleeves were semi-rolled, untidy. His hair was messy from where her fingers had been. |
If this is how he looked, Astoria wondered with horror how did she? |
"I hope both of you realized that there are consequences to your inappropriate behavior", Snape said, his tone ice cold. |
Draco looked ashamed. She understood. This was his favorite teacher and the only one that favored him as well. |
"One week detention for you", he said at Draco and then looked at Astoria, who shyed away from his eyes, "I’m told you have some extra classes to attend with your professor on Defense Against the Dark Arts. I will notify him of your behavior so he could decide a punishment". |
Crusio, echoed in her mind with horror. That was just the beginning. He was probably going to torture her for hours. Mental and physical torture, the fear sank into her mind deeper. |
"Can I do some voluntary work? I know it’s an option in the punishment for – for er, misbehaving", she tried to plead, her face red with shame as her voice trembled. |
"It’s not debatable", Snap cut her off sharply then took a second to look at them both, watching shame consume them. "Go and fix yourselves". |
Astoria jumped out of her chair. She couldn’t even say a word, so she just passed Snape with her head down. Draco followed her but Snape stopped him. |
"You stay", he said to him and Malfoy obeyed. |
Astoria turned to look at him as she closed the door. He was looking at the floor, his pale skin flushed with red. He was ashamed and it somehow made her heart ache. |
They all looked at her now. To make it worse they had potions as first class. It was awkward. |
"Whore", Pansy whispered when she passed her. |
Oddly enough more boys noticed her now. They looked at her up and down. Whispered, laughed. Astoria didn’t like it. |
Draco on the other hand barely gave her any attention. He seemed to not notice her presence at all. |
He’s ashamed, Astoria thought bitterly. It was fair. She was as well. And what did she expect? For him to smile at her and look at her with hearts in his eyes? Absurd. He wasn’t like that and she wasn’t even sure if she’d like that. |
Maybe there was regret in him. Maybe there was some in her as well. |
We almost did it. What a terrifying realization. It worried her, how far she was willing to go. That was a whole new world that was foreign to her. So much to worry about, so many new things to be afraid and ashamed of. |
Coward, she tried to make her thoughts go away. |
The worst part was that it was Draco Malfoy. Not Harry, her best friend she had a crush on since second year. At one point she called it love and was love that easy to forget – one dance, a few intoxicating kisses? |
Harry refused to look at her. That was the end of their friendship, there was no doubt. |
Maybe if it was Theo it would’ve been easier to explain. Less attention as well. |
"Astoria", could you please come for a second Snape said as he called to her with a finger. |
A few heads rose up from the textbooks. They all wanted her punished. And her crime – making out with a boy that took her to dance. What a pity. |
"Dumbledore wants to speak to you", he said coldly, "You may go". |
A much-welcomed escape. Astoria nodded and took her textbooks. As she turned to leave the room she met Draco’s eyes. He was following her with them, for a quick second, and then he let her go. |
A scream that she could never let go rose in her chest. God, she was so sad, so hateful, so unsatisfied and so angry. |
Rage, rage, rage on - |
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