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Flat on her face. The cold ground was the only thing she’d kissed in a while. |
He pretends to be who he is not – |
Astoria shook her head. There was no time to figure out metaphors that randomly popped in her mind. |
"They will rape you so you could give them a son to grow into the perfect weapon", Moody continued with his threats. That’s what he used to motivate her – constantly reminding her she lived in fear and that there was no other way. |
Lighting started dancing around her body. She could feel the buzz inside her and she saw the light around her. Astoria Elroy was electric. Something she discovered she could summon. Moony considered it progress and pushed her to try and develop it. |
I’m going to get you this time, old bastard, she thought viciously. |
Astoria knew she was growing stronger. Her eyes darkened as she managed to track him down. |
"They will kill you. If you managed to live long enough to have any children, they will kill them as well. And they will end your bloodline". |
His weakness is in his mind – |
An opportunity flashed for a second and she shot. One hit. Lightning came out of her fingers. A grow echoed through the castle. There was no storm, it was a sunny day, but lightning had struck. They all saw it. |
Moody was swept from his feet. Not hurt, this time he had little blood over him, mostly from falling on the ground. Astoria stood firmly and waited to see. |
"The first time you did it, it was better. I need you to savor the intent to kill me", he said coldly as he got up. "Again". |
The hours passed around her and magic vibrated in her body yet somehow remained still stuck in it. Astoria gasped for air and felt her arms grow heavy. Her body was weak and that was a problem. She tried to work out, but she was falling behind from the growing strength of her magic. Snape had noticed that as having a nosebleed became an almost everyday problem for her. He took the time to warn them that if she pushes too much, her body will break. |
"Break", that was the word he used. It haunted her often, even in her nightmares. |
"I can’t", she shouted, "I’m tired. I’m going to collapse". |
The Ex-auror wasn’t impressed with Snape’s opinion. There was some kind of rivalry for the position professor for Defense Against the Dark Arts. It was something personal between them, but Astoria had somehow found herself in the middle. |
"Then collapse!", he shouted back at her, and another curse flew her way. "Stupefy!" |
The hit landed on her head. Astoria collapsed on the ground. She didn’t pass out, thought she wished she did, considering that was what it was going to take to end this. |
Pain arched her body. Astoria never got the hang of it even though Moody had told her she would get used to it. It was not something to pick up as a habit. It was a constant reminder, an irritation, of the limits of her body. |
"I need to stop", she shouted back. It was torture. |
"The enemy won’t let you rest. They won’t let you catch your breath and give you a minute to recover. If you are on the ground, you are dead", Moody shouted back at her. |
A curse hit her. She stretched in pain. Then she got up. He gave her no choice and she pushed through. Astoria realized that the pain was everywhere as her muscles vibrated under her skin and it was going to paralyze her very soon. This was the limit, but he just didn’t want to accept it. |
When I am at my weakest, I am at my strongest – |
The voice gave her comfort. She began to get used to it. It still scared the living shit out of her and made her question her sanity but it also helped her in a way. When she needed it. |
"You never quit. They must’ve thrown you out as an auror to come play-pretend to be a teacher", Astoria forced a laugh, but the hatred came easy to her. |
Alastor Moody froze for a second, surprised by her sudden change. He concluded it was desperation. This very second, she took it as an opportunity and lightning struck. Students were gathering to see. It became dangerous. |
But it had to end. And if the only way to stop was by knocking down Moody, she gladly would. |
He was struggling as this hit took some blood with it. Astoria felt as if now she was the wolf. Hungry. Cruel. Wanting. |
"Isn’t it a shame to live this long as an auror?", she grinned as he met her dark eyes, "What a pathetic end to the story." |
A curse flew her way, she dodged it and quickly faced him again. Then came an exceptionally powerful curse. "Fiendfyre". The tree behind her caught on fire. If she didn’t dodge that it would’ve burned her alive. The flames shined in her eyes as Astoria watched them consume the branches of the tree behind, eating through it until it collapses on the ground – all in seconds. |
Astoria turned as she felt the flame’s heat behind her. She couldn’t look. She was afraid of fire, but she wasn’t afraid of Moody who was facing her with his wand up high. He was panting, taking in what he had just attempted to do. |
They burned my mother like that – |
A foreign rage slipped in her. It wasn’t her mother; she didn’t know how she’d died. Hopefully, peacefully in her sleep, though it was highly unlikely. |
"I am going to split you in half", she hissed as lightning danced around her. She lowered her body, preparing to make the hit. |
Before Astoria could strike a black figure interfered and stood between them. |
"Enough!", Snape shouted. |
That took them both by surprise. Her whole body was tense. If she flinched, her finger would straighten and a bolt of lightning would fly his way. The most powerful she could summon so far. She felt it like a rumble in her bones. |
"She finally reached it, Severus", Moody pointed his want towards him as he roared, clearly already enraged, "I just got her where she needs to be". |
"This is madness and it stops! As a Slytherin she is my responsibility and I say enough". |
They stood there for a second looking at the other. Her body twitched and she fell on one of her knees, it gave up. The collapse is coming, she realized with horror while lightning danced around her. |
Where do I put it? |
Swallow it in – |
Panic came over her. Astoria didn’t know what that meant. And she screamed for help. Snape came close but stopped, studying her in horror as she flinched to keep the lightning buzzing around her. Moody pushed him. He’s fearless, she thought with admiration. |
The auror grabbed her hand and pointed it to the sky. Lightning erupted and then disappeared as it didn’t reach the clouds. Her body collapsed in his hands as her last energy evaporated in the air with her magic. |
Moody and Snape exchanged glances as he took her to the nursery. |
They all looked at her as if she was plagued. Her power had grown too much. It was different. Astoria had never seen anyone else do what she had done. Without the wand was hard, but it was raw power, raw magic that came out of her hands. No, her whole body. She felt she could control it better. |
Draco Malfoy mostly stared at her but he never spoke to her again after what she said. Astoria did it to push him away from her and now that she did, she regretted it. |
Training occupied her mind as much as possible, but it wasn’t enough. She felt empty. Something hollow inside of her echoed. |
Because of how far she managed to push through the last time she was allowed a few days to recover. She let her hair down. Tried to walk lightly but her feet were heavy. Her mind – the heaviest. |
Academically she was declining. The energy she put into her training with Moody was draining her to the last drop. Astoria was sleepy all the time and couldn’t concentrate on a book at all. In fact, speaking had also become hard for her. This she managed as no one wanted to speak to her either. |
She met Harry in the hallway. He was with Ron, discussing the Tournament. He looked stressed and tired. Like her, but better. |
"Harry", she said and he turned surprised. It wasn’t something Astoria planned, but his name just came out on its own and she instantly gave up on any resistance. |
"Do you want to talk tonight?" |
He hesitated for a moment. Ron looked at him as if to scream "no" with his eyes at him. |
Astoria didn’t even have the energy to smile back. She just nodded and walked away. Draco passed her, glaring her down. She tried to ignore him. Then she heard something and turned with fear. |
Curses from behind were a regular thing with Moody who kept her on her toes all the time because of it. Only there were no curses this time. Harry was holding his shoulder. Malfoy apparently pushed himself in it. Astoria tried to walk away from this as fast as possible. |
He came in late, looking sleepy and disorientated. Maybe he slept a bit before he remembered. She wasn’t sure but she stayed an hour waiting for him next to the window. |
"I’m sorry if I kept you up so late", Harry said as his hand brushed through his hair only to make it messier. |
"It’s okay", Astoria replied, "I really needed to talk with someone". |
"About what?", Harry asked suspiciously. |
"You couldn’t talk to Malfoy?", the irritation in his voice was obvious. He didn’t really try to hide it either, but she brushed it off. |
"We don’t talk anymore. I cut him off". |
"Because he’s an ass", Astoria lied and it worked as Harry chuckled. |
"Glad to know you’re no longer blind by whatever that was", he sounded disgusted. |
"I feel horrible", the words rolled out of her mouth softly, "I think I’m going to die soon". |
She could see how his body tensed as if his muscles spasmed. There was no humor in his face either as he looked at her with worry. He often did that, she noted. And a warm touch reminded her she was still human as his hands reached for her shoulders. But the damage was done, and he couldn’t dare touch her, only barely, with the tip of his fingers. |
"Why would you say such a thing?" |
Yes, it sounded absurd. She wasn’t chased by The Dark Lord himself like Harry Potter was. There was no Tournament to survive. And Harry had lived on so many occasions. What about her? |
"I think my body will collapse soon under all the pressure I put it through. My magic at times feels so strong and I can’t hold it. Moody seems to be convinced this is something I can take, but I can’t" |
Complaining about training, how pathetic, Astoria thought with guilt. |
"I believe you", Harry said as she looked at him with surprise. |
"Yes. We could all see it. He pushes you into things I never imagined a wizard could do". |
It almost sounded like a compliment. Like encouragement to continue but he looked worried. Sad even. |
"I think it gives control to the worst in you". |
He was right. But it felt like the best of her. She just knew it would repulse him. |
"I just want to escape. To relax. To not think for a bit", she said as she pushed the heels of her palm in her eyes. |
His hand took her in his arms. He was inches from her. |
"I feel like that for the last trial in the Tournament. Moody is cruel to me as well, though I think he is crueler to you". |
"Glad to know I’m his favorite", Astoria said sarcastically and it made him laugh. |
His smile reminded her of Draco’s and she flinched trying to push the memory away. |
"I want to lose myself, to stop being myself for a while", Harry added. "It’s been tough for me too". |
Astoria sighed in approval, looking at the forest. |
"What did you do to Malfoy?", he suddenly asked. |
Of course, he would want some gossip, she thought and rolled her eyes. |
"I made him angry". |
"Does it have to do something with me?", Harry said as if he could hear her thoughts. It almost scared her he could. |
"Why do you ask?" |
"He pushed me today when he saw we talked. He’s also been an exceptional ass to me the past days. I see him leave the castle sometimes. I wonder what he does". |
"I told him I don’t want to make out with him, he kept pushing so I screamed your name to make a point", she said and then quickly tried to add something when she saw his blank stare "I know he hates you. That was it, truly". |
It felt wrong saying it but right to confess it. And Harry took it quite well as he started laughing so hard, he almost fell over her. It was not the reaction she expected but he had a contagious laugh it caught her by surprise and she found herself smiling. Chuckling a bit even. |
"Don’t tell, please", she pleaded as she pushed him off the floor. |
"I promise", Harry said with a smile. She didn’t believe him. |
"I can’t imagine you let him put his hands on you. Everyone were so shocked at the ball, how he touched you and even kissed you", he insisted on talking about it but that irritated her. |
"Then don’t imagine it", Astoria cut him off again. It was becoming annoying. |
"I won’t", Harry said angrily. |
Their eyes met. Harry was staring at her face, very closely. His eyes looked lost, like he wasn’t sure where to focus, as if he saw her face for the first time. And then he reached, stumbled a bit in himself and almost fell but kept himself closer, leaning over her. |
"Sorry", he said with a nervous laugh. Astoria mimicked it. |
"It’s okay", she whispered. |
Only it wasn’t. But he didn’t see that on her face, in fact her words left quite the opposite impression as he leaned even closer, his face next to her face. A hand slid across her waist and his grip immediately tightened. |
It was like a fever dream. Astoria had a few like that before. And her body did feel so tired she could mistake this for a dream, maybe a hallucination. It was hard to tell as she stared at him with disbelief, watching him grow bolder under her refusal to react. They both remained quiet. |
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