maldv/crabcanon · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 0 174
people, you, Mr. Babbage, are the most suited to realize the potential of my Theme!
Are you by any chance familiar with the thoughts of the philosopher La Mettrie?

Babbage: The name sounds familiar; kindly refresh my memory.

Crab: He was a Champion of Materialism. In 1747, while at the court of Frederick the
Great, he wrote a book called L'homme machine. In it, he talks about man as a
machine, especially his mental faculties. Now my Theme comes from my ponderings
about the obverse side of the coin: what about imbuing a machine with human mental
faculties, such as intelligence?

Babbage: I have given such matters some thought from time to time, but I have never had
the proper hardware to take up the challenge. This is indeed a felicitous suggestion,
Mr. Crab, and I would enjoy nothing more than working with your excellent Theme.
Tell me-did you have any specific kind of intelligence in mind?

Crab: An idle thought which had crossed my mind was to instruct it in such a manner as
to play a reasonable game of chess.

Babbage: What an original suggestion! And chess happens to be my favorite pastime. I
can tell that you have a broad acquaintance with computing machinery, and are no
mere amateur.

Crab: I know very little, in fact. My strongest point is simply that I seem to be able to
formulate Themes whose potential for being developed is beyond my own capacity.
And this Theme is my favorite.

Babbage: I shall be most delighted to try to realize, in some modest fashion, your
suggestion of teaching chess to a smart-stupid. After all, to obey Your Crabness'
command is my most humble duty. (So saying, he shifts to another of the Crab's many
smart-stupids, and begins to type away.)

Achilles: Why, his hands move so fluidly that they almost make music!

Babbage (winding up his performance with a particularly graceful flourish): I really
haven't had any chance, of course, to check it out, but perhaps this will allow you at
least to sample the idea of playing chess against a smart-stupid- even if the latter of its
two names seems more apt in this

Case, due to my own Insufficiencies in the art of instructing smart-stupids.

(He ti-ields his seat to the Crab. On the screen appears a beautiful display of a chess
board with elegant wooden pieces, as it would look from White's side. Babbage hits a
button, and the board rotates, stopping when it appears as seen from the perspective
of Black.)

Crab: Hmm ... very elegant, I must say. Do I play Black or White?

Babbage: Whichever you wish just signal your choice by typing "White" or "Black". And
then, your moves can be entered in any standard chess notation. The smart-stupid's
moves, of course, will appear on the board. Incidentally, I made the program in such a
way that it can play three opponents simultaneously, so that if two more of you wish to
play, you may, as well.

Author: I'm a miserable player. Achilles, you and Mr. T should go ahead. Achilles: No, I
don't want you to be left out. I'll watch, while you and Mr. Tortoise play.

Tortoise: I don't want to play either. You two play.

Babbage: I have another suggestion. I can make two of the subprograms play against
each other, in the manner of two persons who play chess together in a select chess
club. Meanwhile, the third subprogram will play Mr. Crab. That way, all three internal
chess players will be occupied.

Crab: That's an amusing suggestion-an internal mental game, while it combats an external
opponent. Very good!

Tortoise: What else could this be called, but a three-part chess-fugue?

Crab.' Oh, how recherche! I wish I'd thought of it myself. It's a magnificent little
counterpoint to contemplate whilst I pit my wits against the smart-stupid in battle.

Babbage: Perhaps we should let you play alone.

Crab: I appreciate the sentiment. While the smart-stupid and I are playing, perhaps the
rest of you can amuse yourselves for a short while.

Author: I would be very happy to show Mr. Babbage around the gardens. They are
certainly worth seeing, and I believe there is just enough light remaining to show them
off.

Babbage: Never having seen Madstop before, I would appreciate that very much.

Crab: Excellent. Oh, Mr. T-I wonder if it wouldn't be too much of an imposition on you
to ask if you might check out some of the connections on a couple of my smart-
stupids; they seem to be getting extraneous flashes on their screens from time to time,
and I know you enjoy electronics ...

Tortoise: I should be delighted, Mr. C.

Crab: I would most highly appreciate it if you could locate the source of the trouble.

Tortoise: I'll give it a whirl.

Achilles: Personally, I'm dying for a cup of coffee, is anyone else interested? I'd be glad
to fix some.

Tortoise: Sounds great to me.

Crab: A fine idea. You'll find everything you need in the kitchen.

people, you, Mr. Babbage, are the most suited to realize the potential of my Theme!

Are you by any chance familiar with the thoughts of the philosopher La Mettrie?

Babbage: The name sounds familiar; kindly refresh my memory.

Crab: He was a Champion of Materialism. In 1747, while at the court of Frederick the

Great, he wrote a book called L'homme machine. In it, he talks about man as a

machine, especially his mental faculties. Now my Theme comes from my ponderings

about the obverse side of the coin: what about imbuing a machine with human mental

faculties, such as intelligence?

Babbage: I have given such matters some thought from time to time, but I have never had

the proper hardware to take up the challenge. This is indeed a felicitous suggestion,

Mr. Crab, and I would enjoy nothing more than working with your excellent Theme.

Tell me-did you have any specific kind of intelligence in mind?

Crab: An idle thought which had crossed my mind was to instruct it in such a manner as

to play a reasonable game of chess.

Babbage: What an original suggestion! And chess happens to be my favorite pastime. I

can tell that you have a broad acquaintance with computing machinery, and are no

mere amateur.

Crab: I know very little, in fact. My strongest point is simply that I seem to be able to

formulate Themes whose potential for being developed is beyond my own capacity.

And this Theme is my favorite.

Babbage: I shall be most delighted to try to realize, in some modest fashion, your

suggestion of teaching chess to a smart-stupid. After all, to obey Your Crabness'

command is my most humble duty. (So saying, he shifts to another of the Crab's many

smart-stupids, and begins to type away.)

Achilles: Why, his hands move so fluidly that they almost make music!

Babbage (winding up his performance with a particularly graceful flourish): I really

haven't had any chance, of course, to check it out, but perhaps this will allow you at

least to sample the idea of playing chess against a smart-stupid- even if the latter of its

two names seems more apt in this

Case, due to my own Insufficiencies in the art of instructing smart-stupids.

(He ti-ields his seat to the Crab. On the screen appears a beautiful display of a chess

board with elegant wooden pieces, as it would look from White's side. Babbage hits a

button, and the board rotates, stopping when it appears as seen from the perspective

of Black.)

Crab: Hmm ... very elegant, I must say. Do I play Black or White?

Babbage: Whichever you wish just signal your choice by typing "White" or "Black". And

then, your moves can be entered in any standard chess notation. The smart-stupid's

moves, of course, will appear on the board. Incidentally, I made the program in such a

way that it can play three opponents simultaneously, so that if two more of you wish to

play, you may, as well.

Author: I'm a miserable player. Achilles, you and Mr. T should go ahead. Achilles: No, I

don't want you to be left out. I'll watch, while you and Mr. Tortoise play.

Tortoise: I don't want to play either. You two play.

Babbage: I have another suggestion. I can make two of the subprograms play against

each other, in the manner of two persons who play chess together in a select chess

club. Meanwhile, the third subprogram will play Mr. Crab. That way, all three internal

chess players will be occupied.

Crab: That's an amusing suggestion-an internal mental game, while it combats an external

opponent. Very good!

Tortoise: What else could this be called, but a three-part chess-fugue?

Crab.' Oh, how recherche! I wish I'd thought of it myself. It's a magnificent little

counterpoint to contemplate whilst I pit my wits against the smart-stupid in battle.

Babbage: Perhaps we should let you play alone.

Crab: I appreciate the sentiment. While the smart-stupid and I are playing, perhaps the

rest of you can amuse yourselves for a short while.

Author: I would be very happy to show Mr. Babbage around the gardens. They are

certainly worth seeing, and I believe there is just enough light remaining to show them

off.

Babbage: Never having seen Madstop before, I would appreciate that very much.

Crab: Excellent. Oh, Mr. T-I wonder if it wouldn't be too much of an imposition on you

to ask if you might check out some of the connections on a couple of my smart-

stupids; they seem to be getting extraneous flashes on their screens from time to time,

and I know you enjoy electronics ...

Tortoise: I should be delighted, Mr. C.

Crab: I would most highly appreciate it if you could locate the source of the trouble.

Tortoise: I'll give it a whirl.

Achilles: Personally, I'm dying for a cup of coffee, is anyone else interested? I'd be glad

to fix some.

Tortoise: Sounds great to me.

Crab: A fine idea. You'll find everything you need in the kitchen.