maldv/crabcanon · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 0 174
Babbage: Oh, Mr. Crab, I assure you that the honor is truly all mine, to meet someone so
eminent in all the sciences as yourself, someone whose knowledge and skill in music
are irreproachable, and someone whose hospitality exceeds all bounds. And I am sure
that you expect no less than the highest sartorial standards of your visitors; and yet I
must confess that I cannot meet those most reasonable standards, being in a state of
casual attire as would not by any means befit a visitor to so eminent and excellent a
Crab as Your Crab.

Crab: If I understand your most praiseworthy soliloquy, most welcome guest, I take it
that you'd like to change your clothes. Let me then assure you that there could be no
more fitting attire than yours for the circumstances which this evening prevail; and I
would beseech you to uncoat yourself and, if you do not object to the music-making of
the most rank amateurs, please accept a " Musical Offering ", consisting of ten canons
from Sebastian Bach's Musical Offering, as a token of our admiration.

Babbage: I am most bewilderingly pleased by your overkind reception, Mr. Crab, and in
utmost modesty do reply that there could be no deeper gratitude than that which I
experience for the offer of a performance of music given to us by the illustrious Old
Bach, that organist and composer with no rival.

Crab: But nay! I have a yet better idea, one which I trust might meet with the approval of
my esteemed guest; and that is this: to give you the opportunity, Mr. Babbage, of
being among the first to try out my newly delivered and as yet hardly tested "smart-
stupids"-streamlined realizations, if you will, of the Analytical Engine. Your fame as a
virtuoso programmer of computing engines has spread far and wide, and has not failed
to reach as far as Madstop; and there could be for us no greater delight than the
privilege of observing your skill as it might be applied to the new and challenging
"smart-stupids".

Babbage: Such an outstanding idea has not reached my ears for an eon. I
welcome the challenge of trying out your new "smart-stupids", of which I have only
the slightest knowledge by means of hearsay.

Crab: Then let us proceed! But excuse my oversight! I should have introduced my guests
to you. This is Mr. Tortoise, this is Achilles, and the Author, Douglas Hofstadter.
Babbage: Very pleased to make your acquaintance, I'm sure.

(Everyone walks over toward one of the smart-stupids, and Babbage sits down and
lets his fingers run over the keyboard.)

A most pleasant touch. Crab: I am glad you like it.

(All at once, Babbage deftly massages the keyboard with graceful strokes, inputting
one command after another. After a few seconds, he sits back, and in almost no
time, the screen begins filling with figures. In a flash, it is totally covered with
thousands of tiny digits, the first few of which go: "3.14159265358979323846264
... ")

Achilles: Pi!

Crab: Exquisite! I'd never imagined that one could calculate so mane digits of pi so
quickly, and with so tiny an algorithm. Babbage: The credit belongs exclusively to the
smart-stupid. My role was

merely to see what was already potentially present in it, and to exploit its instruction set
in a moderately efficient manner. Truly, anyone who practices can do such tricks.
Tortoise: Do you do any graphics, Mr. Babbage? Babbage: I can try.

Crab: Wonderful! Here, let me take you to another one of in,.-1 want you to try them all!

(And so Babbage is led over to another of the many smart-stupids, and takes a seat.
Once again, his fingers attack the keyboard of the smartstupid, and in half a trice,
there appear on the screen an enormous number of lines, swinging about on the
screen.)

Crab: How harmonious and pleasing these swirling shapes are, as they constantly collide
and interfere with each other!

Author: And they never repeat exactly, or even resemble ones which have come before. It
seems an inexhaustible mine of beauty.

Tortoise: Some are simple patterns which enchant the eye; others are indescribably
complex convolutions which boggle and yet simultaneously delight the mind.

Crab: Were you aware, Mr. Babbage, that these are color screens? Babbage: Oh, are
they? In that case, I can do rather more with this algorithm. Just a moment. ( Types in a
few new commands, then pushes two keys down at once and holds them.) As I release
these two keys, the display will include all the colors of the spectrum. ( Releases them.)
Achilles: Oh, what spectacular color! Some of the patterns look like they're jumping out
at me now!

Tortoise: I think that is because they are all growing in size.

Babbage: That is intentional. As the figures grow, so may the Crab's fortune.

Crab: Thank you, Mr. Babbage. Words fail to convey my admiration for your
performance! Never has anyone done anything comparable on my smart-stupids. Why,
you play the smart-stupids as if they were musical instruments, Mr. Babbage!

Babbage: I am afraid that any music I might make would be too harsh for the ears of such
a gentle Crab as your Crab. Although I have lately become enamoured of the sweet
sounds of the hurdy-gurdy, I am well aware of the grating effect they can have upon
others.

Crab: Then, by all means, continue on the smart-stupids! In fact, I have a new idea-a
marvelously exciting idea!

Babbage: What is it?

Crab: I have recently invented a Theme, and it only now occurred to me that, of all

Babbage: Oh, Mr. Crab, I assure you that the honor is truly all mine, to meet someone so

eminent in all the sciences as yourself, someone whose knowledge and skill in music

are irreproachable, and someone whose hospitality exceeds all bounds. And I am sure

that you expect no less than the highest sartorial standards of your visitors; and yet I

must confess that I cannot meet those most reasonable standards, being in a state of

casual attire as would not by any means befit a visitor to so eminent and excellent a

Crab as Your Crab.

Crab: If I understand your most praiseworthy soliloquy, most welcome guest, I take it

that you'd like to change your clothes. Let me then assure you that there could be no

more fitting attire than yours for the circumstances which this evening prevail; and I

would beseech you to uncoat yourself and, if you do not object to the music-making of

the most rank amateurs, please accept a " Musical Offering ", consisting of ten canons

from Sebastian Bach's Musical Offering, as a token of our admiration.

Babbage: I am most bewilderingly pleased by your overkind reception, Mr. Crab, and in

utmost modesty do reply that there could be no deeper gratitude than that which I

experience for the offer of a performance of music given to us by the illustrious Old

Bach, that organist and composer with no rival.

Crab: But nay! I have a yet better idea, one which I trust might meet with the approval of

my esteemed guest; and that is this: to give you the opportunity, Mr. Babbage, of

being among the first to try out my newly delivered and as yet hardly tested "smart-

stupids"-streamlined realizations, if you will, of the Analytical Engine. Your fame as a

virtuoso programmer of computing engines has spread far and wide, and has not failed

to reach as far as Madstop; and there could be for us no greater delight than the

privilege of observing your skill as it might be applied to the new and challenging

"smart-stupids".

Babbage: Such an outstanding idea has not reached my ears for an eon. I

welcome the challenge of trying out your new "smart-stupids", of which I have only

the slightest knowledge by means of hearsay.

Crab: Then let us proceed! But excuse my oversight! I should have introduced my guests

to you. This is Mr. Tortoise, this is Achilles, and the Author, Douglas Hofstadter.

Babbage: Very pleased to make your acquaintance, I'm sure.

(Everyone walks over toward one of the smart-stupids, and Babbage sits down and

lets his fingers run over the keyboard.)

A most pleasant touch. Crab: I am glad you like it.

(All at once, Babbage deftly massages the keyboard with graceful strokes, inputting

one command after another. After a few seconds, he sits back, and in almost no

time, the screen begins filling with figures. In a flash, it is totally covered with

thousands of tiny digits, the first few of which go: "3.14159265358979323846264

... ")

Achilles: Pi!

Crab: Exquisite! I'd never imagined that one could calculate so mane digits of pi so

quickly, and with so tiny an algorithm. Babbage: The credit belongs exclusively to the

smart-stupid. My role was

merely to see what was already potentially present in it, and to exploit its instruction set

in a moderately efficient manner. Truly, anyone who practices can do such tricks.

Tortoise: Do you do any graphics, Mr. Babbage? Babbage: I can try.

Crab: Wonderful! Here, let me take you to another one of in,.-1 want you to try them all!

(And so Babbage is led over to another of the many smart-stupids, and takes a seat.

Once again, his fingers attack the keyboard of the smartstupid, and in half a trice,

there appear on the screen an enormous number of lines, swinging about on the

screen.)

Crab: How harmonious and pleasing these swirling shapes are, as they constantly collide

and interfere with each other!

Author: And they never repeat exactly, or even resemble ones which have come before. It

seems an inexhaustible mine of beauty.

Tortoise: Some are simple patterns which enchant the eye; others are indescribably

complex convolutions which boggle and yet simultaneously delight the mind.

Crab: Were you aware, Mr. Babbage, that these are color screens? Babbage: Oh, are

they? In that case, I can do rather more with this algorithm. Just a moment. ( Types in a

few new commands, then pushes two keys down at once and holds them.) As I release

these two keys, the display will include all the colors of the spectrum. ( Releases them.)

Achilles: Oh, what spectacular color! Some of the patterns look like they're jumping out

at me now!

Tortoise: I think that is because they are all growing in size.

Babbage: That is intentional. As the figures grow, so may the Crab's fortune.

Crab: Thank you, Mr. Babbage. Words fail to convey my admiration for your

performance! Never has anyone done anything comparable on my smart-stupids. Why,

you play the smart-stupids as if they were musical instruments, Mr. Babbage!

Babbage: I am afraid that any music I might make would be too harsh for the ears of such

a gentle Crab as your Crab. Although I have lately become enamoured of the sweet

sounds of the hurdy-gurdy, I am well aware of the grating effect they can have upon

others.

Crab: Then, by all means, continue on the smart-stupids! In fact, I have a new idea-a

marvelously exciting idea!

Babbage: What is it?

Crab: I have recently invented a Theme, and it only now occurred to me that, of all