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i'm a petite female and will get drunk after 2-3 servings of alcohol. i know excessive alcohol is bad for the liver but i'm unsure how alcohol damages the liver for moderate alcohol use as follows: 1. i drink one glass a day every day. will this be bad for my liver? i imagine i can break down one glass just fine but does there need to be a recovery time to prevent damage? 2. i drink 5 glasses on one occasion but only once a week. 3. i drink 2.5 drinks two days in a row every week. i'm wondering which would be the worst for me out of the above scenarios.... small amounts of alcohol frequently, large amounts infrequently (so the liver could heal or does the damage just build up?), or medium amounts semi-frequently. thanks!!

how does drinking affect the liver in these following scenarios?

5yxc72

uk guidelines are 14 units a week (around 7 glasses of wine, for example). its all about probabilities. coupled with your extra drinks, you're drinking above recommended limits, therefore at a higher probability of health related complications (not just the liver). your odds depend on a number of known and unknown factors, but all you can do is to deal with the ones under your control, which in your case is your overall alcohol consumption. [the risks of drinking too much](WEBLINK)

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5yxc72

hey everyone. ​ my mom (about 60, lives alone, overweight, white, about 5'10", no pictures available atm) lives a few hours away from me and her recent condition has me worried, especially as it’s been tough to understand. ​ a couple years or so ago she reported that she thought she might have some kind of bug infestation. i was living with her at the time and never found anything out of the ordinary. she told me she was finding little black/white specks that she thought were bugs. every time i looked at them, to me, they looked like regular dirt, dead skin, pieces of leaves tracked in from outside, with the occasional gnat mixed in. this upset her a lot and she couldn’t ignore it. ​ fast forward a couple years and it’s really been taking over her life. she now feels like a lot of the specks are coming from her (arms, legs especially.) she saves some of them to show me. she also thinks it’s producing these tiny threads from her skin, not just various specks. she complains of itchiness and skin irritation in random spots. she’s called multiple exterminators, treated the house, bought a thousand types of oils to use on her skin and on household objects. she’s sprinkled diatomaceous earth around the house and removed a lot of towels and rugs because she believes whatever bug has infected her would thrive on them. ​ she’s had a few appointments with a dermatologist or two and they don’t seem to agree with her assumptions. she’s embarrassed, but she’s also resistant to the idea that this might be psychological. it upsets her. i was hoping her situation would improve over time, but it’s continued. she made one trip to the er 6-12 months ago, but after a few recent sleepless nights, she messaged me saying she might go again. it’s really affecting her quality of life. let me say that aside from this, she’s completely mentally solid and exhibits no other psychological issues. she’s not frantic when discussing this, either. but she does get emotional and upset, sometimes crying when discussing how bad it’s been for her, or if i act like i doubt her. it's really eating away at her. ​ i’ve recommended everything within my common sense, knowledge, and power to google, but it’s beyond me. frankly, i have no idea how to proceed, partly because i'm afraid to make it worse. i can’t say for sure that it’s not a real skin problem, but i see no evidence that it is. it’s causing very real problems for her, and the idea that this could get any worse or degrade her mental health is terrifying to me. ​ i would *greatly* appreciate any and all insight or recommendations on how to help her with this. ​ thanks so much.

bug infestation, or just mental? my mom is really in need of help and i have no idea what to do.

9j8pzx

it could be bugs, but it sounds more like a classical case of delusional parasitosis, which is a real condition but not a real dermatologic or parasitic problem. it's also difficult to deal with when part of the nature of the illness is someone not accepting the nature of the illness. some dermatologists are better than others at explaining the situation and what treatment will be effective for the symptoms, which are real. you could try calling dermatologists and see if any are receptive to a likely case of delusional parasitosis, then try to convince your mom to go there, but there are multiple ways that could go wrong. all i can say is good luck.

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9j8pzx

help. after about 15 years of sobriety (i became addicted in my twenties), i tried drinking again - curiosity which turned into obsessive thinking which resulted in a drink (i thought that i may have been able to drink "normally" as i originally drank due to confidence issues which i no longer felt was an issue). now i cant stop thinking about drinking. i have a bout of drinking which lasts for about 3 days, i then sort myself out for about a week (but in the meantime obsessively think about drinking and whether i want it or not), then i succumb again. i don't want to drink and when i do i don't enjoy it, its like i do it to get rid of the obsessive thoughts in my head. does anyone have any advice on how i can release myself from this obsession/addiction which has resurfaced?

15 years sober, then started drinking again.

7zxdon

allan carr's method sounds like it could work well here. essentially your brain focuses on short term gains. you need to help it look at the whole picture. his conclusion: if you look at everything alcohol gives and takes, no one should do it. it's always a net negative, even for "regular" drinkers. plus. include other people in your process, break it down into a real decision to not drink. make that decision a process to not drink just right now. just right now. tomorrow is whatever, but right now you can choose. remember, cravings usually only last a few hours at a time.

stopdrinking

7zxdon

well, hey, i feel pretty pathetic for needing to post about this right now...i've been out of therapy for a year and a half, live a pretty stable life, use my dbt skills daily, but tonight.. someone saw through me. an acquaintance straight up called me out and said "you don't show it much, but you're very emotional, aren't you? you overanalyze a lot, don't you? do you secretly think everybody hates you?" unfortunately, i was buzzed and just ended up crying and confessing how much i struggle with my emotions. i didn't specify bpd, but i over-shared. especially in regards to a mutual friend i have a romantic past with. i'm home now and freaking out about showing my most vulnerable self to someone i honestly don't trust or like that much, who has tendencies to be manipulative. what do i do? how do i (or anyone) best handle over-sharing? should i withdraw from this friend for a while? should i do the dbt skill "opposite to emotion action" and act confident about my over-emotional over-sharing? what is the healthiest way to think and deal with this? thank you!

how to behave after over-sharing?

72zg2r

i subscribe to the "opposite action" part of dbt in that at least for me with bpd, my initial thought and feelings are almost always irrational. if i do the opposite of what that is i end up in a better place. i would say do not withdraw. you have shared a vulnerability, that's what people do. it's normal and it's okay no matter how scary it may feel. it changes nothing, except open a possible friendship with this person. if you do not want that, you don't have to do that. i'd act like everything is fine because it is.

bpd

72zg2r

hello there, i know this kind of thing gets posted all the time, but i'm a little bit lost. i've struggled a lot of my life with mental health issues. recently it's gotten rather worse, and i'm ready to seek help in the form of therapy or anything else really. i unfortunately don't have insurance, and my wife and i's income is definitely not above the poverty line. to add to that, we live in a very conservative state not known for caring much about it's citizens let alone their happiness. i'm unsure where to go, i've done numerous google searches for low to no cost options. it's not like i'm completely devoid of money, we probably have only 100 or so spare dollars every month for incidentals. i would pay for help if i had the resources. at this point i just really don't know what to do. my mental state is definitely effecting my life and my relationships with my wife and other family and friends. i've tried meditating and being aware of what thoughts arise in my brain before i let them snowball, and i have gotten better at realizing when i need to remove myself from a situation and go to the gym to help my mental state. unfortunately thoughts still get past me without my noticing and my thought pattern turns dark. i'm not suicidal and i don't want to die. quite often recently though, i have said that if i had the option to return to a blank slate and start over, it would be what i wanted to do. i guess i can add a little about what i'm struggling with to at least make this interesting for those helpful souls out there. i have struggled with anger issues my entire life, from those stem jealousy issues. i am extremely critical of myself and very abusive to myself (mostly mental, but sometimes physical). i find that i obsess over thoughts, without realizing it. i bring things up time and time again if i don't feel like they've been resolved. i often lash out in times of frustration at those around me that i care for. i understand that a healthy life style is important to mental health so i try to eat the best i can and go to the gym once a day for 30 minutes or so to try to help my mind. i know this probably isn't enough but i try. often my mood will darken really easily and i find that if i don't realize it things will just compound and build until i explode with emotion. even if i do realize i'm feeling down there often isn't things i can do to stop it from happening. it's really straining my relationship with my wife. often times the smallest things will become a huge argument for no reason at all. both of us feeling like the other is being unfair. she has told me recently that she's just done caring about things because i bring them up so often. of course i don't want to be this way, i don't like being angry for no reason. or getting overly frustrated easily and lashing out at people around me. i don't like having little fights with my wife over stupid stuff. or hurting myself over small situations that i find stressful. i'm sorry if this is all over the place and rambly i'll put a tldr in at the end. tldr: i need lots of help, can't afford it, even cheap options like a web based with an assistance plan un affordable.

need some advice in seeking help.

8uvfvo

if the income for both you and your wife does not place you above the poverty line, you should be eligible for medicaid. part of medicaid covers mental health services where individuals can receive therapy and psychiatry if needed with absolutely no copay. some folks who make too much money to get medicaid for medical reasons can still get it specifically for mental health. find out where you need to go to apply, then once you get your card, you can call the number and find local community mental health centers that take the insurance and go from there.

mentalhealth

8uvfvo

so, i've probably had depression and social anxiety for the past two years at least, but during the past few months it's gotten progressively worse and today i had a really bad day. i ended up exploding in front of my parents and basically pouring my guts out about how i didn't have the energy to do anything and how hopeless i felt. after awhile they eventually tried to call the doctor's office to get me an appointment to see him...after 10 or 15 minutes of waiting on hold they eventually referred us to another mental health establishment and they called them and they asked to speak to me directly (i didn't really feel like talking to them). they asked me a few questions like was i feeling suicidal and had i ever been to a psychiatric hospital, i told them no and they said "well, we don't do outpatient counseling, good luck" and hung-up. so now i'm basically disgusted with the whole system and i'm not really sure what to do now.

well that was a waste of time...

e0usq

don't listen to douchebag casperrosewater. it's perfectly normal to need your parents to help you right now. however, they might not really understand the severity of the situation or want to face it right now. try again to see if they'll find someone, if not, you call. it's tough and the mental health system is difficult, but you'll find treatment. don't give up.

depression

e0usq

let me start by saying i am female, and this is a curiosity post. i'm a med student and although i have no interest in becoming a surgeon, i was thinking the other day, how do you people deal with long surgeries and your periods? it's a weird question i know, but i'm going from my example and as someone with very irregular cycles, when it hits me, it usually hits me really bad, so i don't think i'd be able to stand for hours in an or and really focus on my patient. now, i know there are many great female surgeons put there, and they don't seem to let their physiology fuck with them, so .... how? do you just take a handfull of pain killers with you or what?

any female surgeons here?

5jitsz

i think everyone adapts differently depending on their needs. no health condition (even ones considered "normal") should be discriminated against, and if reasonable steps can be taken to support the employee to do their work, then it should be considered. im in the uk and im aware of one female surgeon who is allowed to modify her shifts due to the debilitating symptoms conferred on her by her periods. i can imagine that such arrangements are rare, especially in less sympathetic countries like the us.

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5jitsz

i met this girl last semester and we didn't really click. i don't really trust her and i dont know why. the way that she speaks is unpleasant and she just has a different personality. my study group does like her as she is classmates with them in their legal writing class. ​ i try to talk with her and speak with her but for some reason its difficult for me to change my feelings towards her. i feel like some of her comments are negative and she likes to poke at me. i feel like she does not respect me. how do you deal with people who disrespect you? i want to work with this girl but it just difficult.

i really just dont like this person and i want to get over it

g6svfx

all you can do is establish boundaries that make you comfortable. not everyone clicks and that's ok.

askatherapist

g6svfx

i have known this guy since junior high. we were good friends in high school. we aren't as close now but we've remained good friends. back in junior high we both told each other we liked each other. but nothing ever came of it. i had dinner with him and his sister the other night. he kept flirting with me and was talking about wanting a summer fling. i definitely flirted back and tried to drop hints. when we were alone he asked me if i was seeing anyone and we joked about it. i just don't understand. nothing ever came from these conversations. does he like me? i can't understand why he would be so concerned about if i'm seeing anyone, or why he would flirt with me. i'm too terrified to say anything because i'm scared he has no feelings for me. i also keep questioning why he hasn't said anything yet. any advice on his behaviour or what i should do is much appreciated. thank-you!

i [19/f] don't understand his [19/m] intentions. and is he purposefully avoiding my hints?

6bujgc

just kiss him. he'll figure it out.

relationship_advice

6bujgc

my dad is in his mid 50's and doesn't lead the most active lifestyle. he works a desk job and i believe most of his exercise is just standing on the bart train to and from his job. he's not the poster child for obese, but he's sure as hell not in good shape with his jutting gut. anyway, when he's home, his diet is terrible. it doesn't matter if he's just had a full meal, after dinner at some point between 9-11 every night he eats a bunch of chips and some ice cream. he'll also drink a can of mountain dew before he goes to bed, and i'm fairly certain he has some mountain dew while at work as well. on weekends, he snacks on chips throughout the day, in addition to regular meals. i hardly see him drink water. i see him drink a glass of juice with his breakfast, and i see him drinking his favorite fluorescent soda, and whenever he does drink water, he just puts some in a glass, takes a couple sips, then dumps the rest of the cup in the sink. my mother and i have tried to hint to him that maaaybe he drinks too much mt dew and maaaaybe he should drink more water (we haven't bothered touching the subject of his eating habits yet) but whenever we mention he should cut back on the soda, he gets absolutely pissed off at us. he also gets really cranky and rude when we keep "forgetting" to buy more mt dew at the grocery store. is there any good way for us to talk to him about how he should improve/change his diet, especially as he's getting on in years?

how can i convince my dad, who is in denial of his unhealthy dietary habits, to start eating healthier?

3iapyb

no, there is no good way to talk to him. here is something that will work. take his behavior to logical absurdity. 1. buy a ridiculous amount of mountain dew. 2. before he has finished one, bring him another. 3. bring him water, but just a couple sips and take it an dump it for him. 4. make him a bowl of ice cream and decorate it with chips. tell him he should have *more* soda, *more* chips, and *more* junk food. you must be as sincere as you are when you are asking him to stop.

advice

3iapyb

this was my first visit with this doctor. i am trying to better myself. i have been going to therapy and trying to stay on keto while seeing this new doctor. in the first visit, she tells me at my weight (290 5"3: bmi at 50) that the seriously only way for me to "beat" pcos is for me to have a gastric bypass. i was floored. i came in hopeful. my best friend goes to this doctor and loves her. i told her i didnt want that, that im trying to do this keto thing. i had blood work done and they called and told me my a1c was abnormal as well as my vitamin d. i have not gone back yet. im going to schedule an appointment again to see what she says, there were a few other things i didnt like about her. im just trying to move past it and look at my future. my question is, do you think i should get a second opinion? ive been to so many doctors and none of them have been willing to really point me in the right direction. ive begged for help in some way or another from a lot of doctors. none of them have done anything more than tell me to take metformin and eat vegetarian. seriously. this doctor is willing to try or so she said to get me on meds that will help with appetite. however she was quite rude... when she saw my face at her telling me i needed a gastric bypass, she responded "its not the end of the world. at least you dont have cancer." i was even more upset by that point. any and all advice wanted. also for the record... ive lost 10 lbs on keto in a week. i got stressed from a few things and gained it back. but im back on track now.

so a visit with my doctor and got a bit of shocking news.

4q0lbz

i'm 5'4" and 275 and my doc said "you're not thinking of weight loss surgery are you?" getting my weight down is something we both agree needs to happen asap but she's confident i can do it with lifestyle + medication for my insulin resistance (metformin).

pcos

4q0lbz

i don't really know what my diagnosis-type problem is. i've felt extremely depressed, had numerous panic attacks, flashbacks to abuse, and episodes of dissociation with my own personality (i recognize this is ironic as right now i'm writing this for the dominant personality of my brain, though i am her alter). i know that the problem i have with therapy is that i go into complete shock when i walk into their office and put on my happy-girl disguise. i know i emanate an air of "everything's fine but sometimes my problems stress me out and i get a little upset." but every time i try to be honest (for example, this past semester i just told a therapist about abuse that occurred four years ago, and it freaked me out so much that i never went back) i end up backtracking and making it seem less big of a deal than it actually is. i've been to three or four different therapists, and all of them seem to just want to let me talk until i feel better. the problem is, that isn't going to help me. the problems i have aren't just stress or things i need to work through, they have other causes. aren't therapists allowed to... you know... suggest ways to help? and i don't mean "well, have you tried making lists of things you need to do to make yourself less anxious?" my gp has me on a high dose of buspirone for "some low-level anxiety" but i don't feel like it does anything. i don't really know what to do. i'm at a loss. any help would be appreciated.

can never seem to find a type of therapy that is fitted to my needs... can anyone help? [a bit of a rant]

16a7cg

> i've been to three or four different therapists, and all of them seem to just want to let me talk until i feel better. at the beginning stages for most kinds of therapy, this is kind of how it goes -- the therapist does a lot of listening because they're trying to conceptualize your situation. it would be a little presumptuous and disrespectful for a therapist to offer suggestions before they had a solid understanding of your case. because you felt comfortable telling your latest therapist about your abuse, even though it freaked you out later, maybe you should try going back. it sounds like you allowed yourself to be vulnerable, which, even though it's scary, is excellent progress.

mentalhealth

16a7cg

hello people, my girlfriend is in amerika right now and she's having a cold. she went to buy some medicine and got the above mentioned liquicaps. but she's a bit scared about the use of them. shes 26 years old, around 50kg are there any things that she has to worry about or anything she needs to know? also how does she use them? just swallow them as a whole? thanks in regards.

need help with vicks nyquil cold & flu liquicaps

6rih78

just use as directed - why are you feeling so scared?!? also - next time just save yourself some money by buying some generic paracetamol/acetaminophen instead of branded stuff.

askdocs

6rih78

this is probably going to be very, very long by my standards so sit down and enjoy. she's not little anymore. she'll be 18 in a few months. but as the years go by, i've started disliking her more and more and more. it's gotten to be borderline hate. she's always been this bubbly, cute little girl with a huge smile. when she was younger, people would stop our family and say how beautiful she was for a baby. as she grew up, she went through awkward phases (i mean, who doesn't?) but came into her looks and owned it. i was the only one who saw through it all, mainly because i shared a room with her. in our house, the children lived by the rules of "you don't snitch". my older sister would do things to me (slap me around, mess with my stuff, etc.) and i would get back at her without going to our parents about it. most of the time my older sister and i got along, mainly because we knew neither of us would rat the other one out unless something serious (broken bones, internal bleeding, you know) happened. when my younger sister got of age, we began messing with her. she took it to our parents. my older sister and i were furious that we had to be grounded for messing with her. i had to share a room with my younger sister, so i got to bear witness to her crazy. every time she tattled on us, it wouldn't be right away. it would be hours later. she'd keep her mouth shut until the time was right, start crying, and run up to one of my parents and start screaming "so and so hit me just now!!!". she would even throw herself against the wall so it would look more convincing. my older sister and i would be hauled into the living room, duly punished, and sent to bed early. i would walk back into my bedroom and see my little sister sitting on the bed smirking at me. there was always this cold, calculating look behind her eyes and a spark of joy whenever i was punished because of her. it was terrifying to see that in the eyes of a 6-8 year old. this was years and years ago, and there are plenty of other stories like that. but recent events have come to light that make me even more scared and make me hate her even more. almost a year ago, my little sister confided in me that our father had hit her. she told me because she knew i would give her the most sympathy and believe her story because, well, my dad used to beat the shit out of me when i was a kid (we've recently made amends and our relationship is better than ever). she broke down crying and shaking in anger that dad had hit her because she tried to leave the house when he told her not too. i believed her, because who would lie about those kinds of things? i had been through the same shit. it wasn't until a few weeks after she told me that i found out she was lying. dad had told her not to leave the house, but instead of beating her into submission he merely took her keys. she then threw herself against the wall and floor a few times to bruise herself up and proceeded to call her boyfriend and her friends and told them, crying, that her father had just beaten her within an inch of her life. how do i know this to be true? my little brother was home the entire time and witnessed the scenario. my mother was furious, i was furious, my dad was shocked more than anything. he told my mother that he never touched my little sister. i would trust my dad on this one; when i was younger, he never hesitated to admitting that he had hit me. my mom didn't believe my dad until my little brother came down the stairs and told them the truth. my little sister had lied. mom forced her to call up everyone she had told and to tell them that she (my little sister) was lying about the whole incident. i also found her reddit account and have been periodically "checking up" on her to see what she's been up to. well, she technically gave me her reddit account. "omg we're both on reddit here's my username trolololol when does the narwhal bacon?!?!". what i saw on there scared me. she's lying. every single "story" that she tells is 100% false. "oh, she's lying for fake internet points, who cares?" i do. because of the magnitude of her lies. she claims her best friend in middle school died of leukemia, and went on this entire sob story about how she wasn't even allowed to visit him/her in the hospital and was at school the day he/she died and how heartwrenching it was to see her best friend wither away in front of her eyes. bullshit. none of her friends has ever died. ever. ever. in the history of her life. she also tells these story about how sexually promiscuous she is, which bothers me a) because she's my little sister and b) if these are true, then she's cheating on her boyfriend who is honestly one of the nicest guys i know and both my older sister and i wonder why the fuck he's with our little sister. i don't want to here anyone talk about how much they love giving blowjobs outside of /r/sex. i don't want to hear my little sister talk about how big her tits are, or how she bangs any guy who does a nice deed for her. i don't want to hear it. think this ends here? oh no, ladies and gentlemen. oh no. the most recent episode happened about a month ago. my little sister said that my dad has molested her. let that sink in for a minute. you done? good. she sat my mother down and told her, "mommy i'm having repressed memories and shit and i think dad molested me when i was little!!" if this was any other person, i would have given them credibility. this is not a matter to be taken lightly. this is extremely serious. part of me is wondering, what is he really did? then i remember my little sister is a lying sociopath who feels a need to make her life seem more interesting. no one believes her, which is kid of scary if it's actually true. but none of us think it's true. my older sister actually talked to her boyfriend and he said he doesn't believe her. quote: "i want to believe her, i really do, but i think she's definitely making it up." like who the shit just wakes up one day and is like hm i think i'm going to tell the world my father molested me as a kid. i know the repercussions of this if i actually go to the authorities with this and hey guess what i hate my dad enough to lie that he molested me. no big deal. i'll just ruin his life, his career, and his marriage (which is already on the fucking rocks) because he won't let me go to a fucking college across the county that we can't afford. god dammit. who the fuck thinks like this? oh yeah, sociopaths. fuck, man. i wish that i could even want to believe her, but i am 99.9999% sure that she's lying. she's lied before to "punish" someone, and she'll do it again. some people might be like, "this is the problem with molesting and why is goes unreported because people never believe the victim". well, you guys have never met my little sister. this stories are just the tip of the iceberg of the crazy that i've dealt with over the past 18 years. it doesn't make sense. she claimed it was when she was young (like 5-6) and she said my dad would come into the room at night and molest her. no. no. does not compute. my mother brought up the point, "hey, you know, you've never had your own room until you were about 16." according to my older sister, the look on her face was priceless. she had apparently forgotten this piece of key information and her face went all confused for a second, then smoothed back out to her normal calculating look and went, "he was very quiet." and apparently, just about a week ago, she dropped the whole issue. she's never mentioned it again. every time i talk to her on the phone she is cheery, bubbly, happy, and excited. acts like absolutely nothing is wrong, and she's not even acting. in her mind nothing is wrong. my dad doesn't even know that this whole incident happened, it would crush him. because i know my dad. he may be an alcoholic who used to beat the shit out of me, but my father and i have made our peace and have been closer than we ever have been. just the lies on top of lies on top of lies. i'm scared for whoever she's going to marry. i honestly don't know why the fuck her boyfriend is still with her. i mean, what if she marries him, they get into an argument, and she says that he molested their kids? that's a distinct possibility. her boyfriend is way too nice of a guy to have to deal with her shit for the rest of his life. i hope she gets therapy. she fucking needs it. crazy runs in our family, and it may have skipped my older sister and i, but it went rampant on my younger sister.

i think my little sister is a sociopath.

1w29vj

sounds like she might have borderline personality disorder. i'm wondering if seeing a family therapist with your mom, brother, sister, (maybe dad, once he knows the extent of it) and confronting her all together might be a good course of action.

offmychest

1w29vj

hi! i hope this is okay for this sub. i'm a 20 year old female living a bit of a nomadic life. i'm currently in athens, greece, but typically bounce between berlin (germany), madrid (spain), and the suburbs of nyc. i am american/german, if that makes a difference. not sure if the bullets all apply to this question but: i take iron, a bc, vitamin c, zyrtec, and adderal 20 mg xr every day. i am diagnosed with adhd with a history of sinus problems. i've been struggling with air pollution a lot this summer, especially in london and in athens. my snot and nasal cavity gets very dark and i have a hard time breathing. this has been going on the last couple months. it used to happen when i took the nyc subway but it was only then. now its expanding. by the end of the day i feel completely battered and my nose/sinuses are in a ton of pain. i'm wondering if there is anything i can do that would make this easier on me? i don't want to become a mask person, but if there is a medication i should take or something to bring up with my doctor, that would be great to know. i just don't want to go to an office and to be told this is my life now.

i'm struggling with the side effects of air pollution: is there anything i can do to lessen the effects?

6f0l6d

nope, this is an environmental issue. its a good thing your body is protecting yourself from the pollution! i lived in london for a few years and had similar (though less severe) problems. disappeared after returning to scotland. wouldnt advise meds other than over the counter symptomatic relief (nasal decongestants etc) - and probably a mask.

askdocs

6f0l6d

my social anxiety has always made me act like a sponge, sucking up other people's interests and opinions in order to be amicable. with past partners, i've catered to their music, their netflix taste, their preferred means of socializing. things like taking control of the aux-cord weren't just stressful because the attention was on me, it was stressful because i didn't really know what i wanted to play in the first place. i've become more aware of my social anxiety and the impact it's had on my life in the past year or so. i'm getting moderately more comfortable with establishing my own identity. and i had this feeling the other day, like i was just starting to know who i am. it was cool, but also really sad. i'm sure if i conveyed this to friends they'd disagree and say that i have a clear personality with likes, dislikes, etc. but i don't think people talk enough about what anxiety disorders do to a person's sense of identity. who am i without anxiety? i'm not sure yet. sorry if this sounds melodramatic. just wondering if this is something other people have experienced.

anyone else feel like they're just getting to know themselves?

b18u3y

i can relate...and one thing that has helped me embrace who i am is studying more about my personality type through myers briggs and enneagram tests. also i recommend “introvert doodles” and “kind of coping” books on amazon. wonderful way to relate to understanding self, anxiety and all. at least it was for me. and also therapy helps me too. just some ideas.

socialanxiety

b18u3y

he has been having testicular pain for the last weeks and tomorrow he's going to get his results on whats going on, his blood and urine tests are normal so tomorrow their doing some other tests to determine whats happening. i want to know how to act and support him if it turns out he has a serious illnes. we're long distance so keep that in mind update: turns out he only had his testicle inflamed, they just gave him some pills and special "support" boxers thank god ps: thank you so much for your comments you were really helpful

my[19f] boyfriend[20m] is getting some news about his health tomorrow, how can i support him?

5odmlu

just be your natural, spontaneous, loving, caring self!

relationship_advice

5odmlu

was excited to try wellbutrin for anxiety, depression and quit smoking but it just ended up making me feel 10x worse. last night i got into a crying fit and did something i don't really ever do (self harm). the frustrating part is as much as it sucks and the bad side effects i can focus much better than i ever did, i have adhd as well and take adderall. i'm not sure if it's because i take adderall and that's the reason i'm feeling agitated as hell but i just needed to vent about this... talking to a doctor today or tomorrow before i take another one to make sure it's ok.

i wanted the wellbutrin to work so badly but ended up making things worse

2egpt6

if you're prone to a significant level of anxiety, psychostimulants (such as adderrall, and to a lesser extend wellbutrin can definitely exacerbate this, and certainly adderrall can cause agitation in some people (my brother had rages on it). essentially, these meds amp you up. while this is good for the adhd as it activates under stimulated sections, this can also obviously amp you up emotionally. i commend you going to speak to your doctor about it. you could consider asking about non-stimulant meds for adhd such as strattera. a psychiatrist i used to work with told me that prozac can be helpful for adhd in some people.

anxiety

2egpt6

i'm not sure if this is the right place but i figured i'd start here. basically i'm looking for advance on how to seek a leave of absence due to mental health. i have poked around in my work and they need a doctor note saying i'm unfit to work (if i want to get one with partial pay). has anyone had experience getting anything like that or how to go about it? i feel like i'm having some kind of breakdown in my life. i'm 40, i've been at the same job for 18 years, i have two small daughters, one of whom is on the autism spectrum and is having all kinds of problems (she was recently diagnosed with anxiety). my work, while i have generally loved it (and still love a lot of things about it), is insanely stressful and not a positive environment. it's always been like that and i've thrived but now i'm just burnt out. i literally can't get anything done, i sit at my computer and become overwhelmed at how much i have to do. i'm in tears every day about one thing or another and all i want to do is sleep and read. my personal life is the same, i'm not doing enough for/with my kids, i have a new puppy and falling down on the job with training him correctly. i made a lot of bad choices with my credit card and had to take a loan from my 401k to pay it. i have a great husband but he is a stoic german type who likes to push his feelings in a deep dark hole and drink instead. he is not capable of responding in any way i need when i'm talking about this stuff. i can't quit my job, i make too much money and have too many benefits to walk away. but i just can't do anything anymore and need help. i've felt like this for literally months (honestly probably a year), it's just all coming to a head. and i work for a law firm that gives literally no feedback. no positive or negative reinceforcement, just passive-agressive type communications. i've just ranted so sorry, will get back to my original question- an advice on finding a mental health professional and how to go about getting a medical mental health direction to take a leave from work?

advice on leave of absence

6ufpkn

hmmmm, if you're going to go out on workers comp for a short term mental health disability, usually companies have their own doctors they make you see. you'd have to check with your work to see what you need to do. it would probably be a good idea to seek out a therapist to see for starters. ask around. the best way to find someone good is through word of mouth. if you put yourself out there and say you're looking for a good therapist recommendation, you might be surprised how many of your friends/family have probably been to therapy themselves and may have some recommendations. if you're in the united states, i can answer any specific questions you may have about finding a therapist, as i am one. :-d [-the web shrink](WEBLINK)

mentalhealth

6ufpkn

background: in college, we're in similar social circles and have class together so it's not really feasible to completely cut and run, and that's also why i'd rather be on decent terms with her. i just don't wanna be an emotional security blanket anymore. so how do i go about distancing myself from this girl without totally alienating her?

stuck in friendzone, how do i start distancing myself from this girl?

funk8

remember basic geometry and physics: in order to increase the distance between yourself and another point in space, you must decrease the distance between yourself and another point in space.

relationship_advice

funk8

so as the title says, although we have dated other people in the past, this is both mine and my boyfriend's first time being in a long-term relationship. we've been together for a year and a half now. now, cliche i know, but everything has been quite wonderful between the both of us - we have a lot of common interests and values, respect and care for each other, been very loyal etc. the reason why despite all those qualities i'm concern is because while comparing to when we first started dating, i feel like my boyfriend is not as affectionate or puts as much effort anymore. we had a serious discussion late last year over this after not seeing each other for around three weeks because my boyfriend is a student and had exams, and we live around an hour away from each other. i told him i missed him and i was kind of upset he didn't want to see me as badly as i did. he said while he really liked our time together he didn't miss me. i guess i was hurt because when we first started dating he used to tell me he missed me a lot. i have at one point told him i think i have feelings more than "like" for him. my family never said "i love you" to each other before so i'm not used to saying this to someone seriously. my boyfriend told me while he still really cares and like me, he doesn't love me yet and doesn't know if he will or will not in the future. he has never told any past ex-girlfriends he loved them either. i asked him for his definition of love and he said he's not sure, it's something he feels. so i decided to drop it for now because i thought he was intimidated of the word "love". in the end, we both decided to continue dating because we still really want to be together. also, we promise we'd break up with each other if we feel that we're dragging the other person along. he emphasized he really cares about me and doesn't want me to think he doesn't appreciate what we have. the reason why i don't feel he is as affectionate as before is because while he's normally not a sweet talker to anyone, he used to tell me things like he missed me, or he never liked another girl as much, or tell me compliments more often. i just felt more wanted and special to him before. he still holds my hand, cuddles with me, and we have sex. so while together, i can feel physical affection, it's hard to tell his feelings for me when we're apart for a while. and in terms of effort, he used to plan surprise dates, or we'll chill on a weekday too, or he'll like to have a skype session. he still tries occasionally to do some of the work but i feel exhausted on my end always brainstorming of things to do and finding things online. lately, i feel like i just ran out of ideas for dates. i know he's super busy during the school year juggling two part time jobs so i try to understand as much as possible and appreciate the time he makes for me. so i guess my question is have you been through something similar and if so, what did you do? my boyfriend and i just talk about our issues and try to understand each other, but what should our course of action be to try and make this work out? is this how a normal long term relationship is or are we both wasting each other's time? i'm just confused on what to do and not sure what to ask. tl:dr - first long term relationship for both boyfriend and i. not sure if it's normal to feel like boyfriend is more affectionate and puts more effort in the beginning of the relationship. now, i don't feel as important to him.

i'm (23f) not sure if this is how a long term relationship feels after the honeymoon phase with my boyfriend (23m)

63nieb

you have to be verbally direct about your needs and wants. in a ltr, there's a flow, a give and take. it's a constant process of re-evaluating and re-negotiating the status quo so everyone is getting what they need. you need to have some big discussions, and if they're not fruitful, go to counseling.

relationship_advice

63nieb

i'm the type that overthinks everything. i am having a hard time trusting my husband, and trusting the universe that my husband will figure out his drama. we've been married for almost 6 mo. he came on a fiancé visa for us to get married. once he was in my house for a couple days, i found out his jealous ex-wife was puppy-eyeing him back to her (he and i met after they had split up). he was falling for her and her bullshit...which was nothing more than bullshit. she wants nothing more than for him to be miserable and single. i, an adult child of alcoholism, blossomed into a domestic violence survivor with two children. i'm great at making excuses for people while silently criticizing their anterior motives for days or weeks. until i completely fall apart. trying to do things i enjoy. figure out things i enjoy doing...which seems to help both my self-esteem and realities to happen by themselves...without me obsessing them into existence. any other survival tactics to just "letting life happen"....learning to trust a so... or learning to stop overthinking?

how to stop overthinking relationships?

6g51rs

trust has 2 aspects. the behavior of the other person, and your internal decision that you will trust someone worthy of trust. thinking is over-thinking when it's no longer productive. generally, improving self esteem, and choosing trustworthy partners makes everything fall into place.

relationship_advice

6g51rs

i (m) (32) have a sexual attraction to dairy cows. it all started when i was a boy. a cow on my papas farm had a calf die inside her. the toxins were killing her and she couldn't birth the calf. my pappa and my uncle chained the calf out and the cow kept pushing and straining so the uterus prolapsed too. my uncle tried to push it back in but it was torn and there was a lof of blood and infection. the cow looked exhausted and distressed, and my father pumped two bullets into the cows head, and one in the side of the cow for good measure. he did this with a huge sigh. i should have been crying or upset, but i was turned on. i had an erection so i hid behind two old feed sloughs. my father and my uncle went off to pick up the trailer and tractor so they could move the cow, i knew they would be at least 10 mins to walk up to the tractor shed. i used that time to straddle the dead cow and touch the prolapse. i then had a tiny quick suck of the teat. i then put my penis partially inside the cows mouth. i could hear noises in the distance so i got spooked so i ran to the oak in the pasture and just relieved myself there. i was 13 years old. i don't know why i did this and i don't know why i was sexually turned on. now i have a sexual attraction to dairy cows. i do like humans sexually but it has to be a really dark male. a black male with dark skin to be precise. the darker the better. i don't understand why my head is so fucked up sexually. i haven't acted on my fantasies since that morbid day and i just don't know how long i can hold myself off for without penetrating a cow. i know it's sick and illegal in some states but i need help now before i end up drinking too much beer and having my wicked way with the barnyard beauties. send help. thank you.

i need help with my attraction to dairy cows

g73cm5

specifically, you will want to see a psychologist who specializes in sex offense work and/or psychosexual assessment. these psychologists have the most training and experience with paraphalias.

askatherapist

g73cm5

as i'm approaching the end of my junior year of college, it just gets harder to me to accept my virgin status. when i initially meet people (anyone, just not people i'm interested in) they never get that vibe from me. to many people i come across as a tall, good-looking, funny, emotionally stable guy. they're usually caught off guard hearing i'm single, which makes me feel that maybe i'm supposed to be with someone. overall i don't have much experience with girls. i've been on dates and whatnot, but nothing's progressed for the most part. for starters i'm completely oblivious and don't catch many signs that someone is interested in me. apparently there have been countless missed opportunities for me. my first kiss was only a year ago, and the "relationship" only lasted a month. i'm afraid i come off as too "innocent" and girls really don't want to bother with me. on another occasion i have gotten the whole "i don't want to be in a relationship because i don't want to you to hate me" bit, but for all i know it could've been bs. i guess virginity used to be a choice for me. i grew up as a catholic, so i used to take chastity a tad more seriously. that's not the case anymore as i'm in college, but now i feel like i'm behind and girls won't want to bother with me due to my inexperience. posting this, i'd like to say i don't plan on hooking up with anyone. knowing myself, i get attached to people easily and don't want to put myself through any problems i won't be able to handle emotionally. in general i'm very careful with who i open up with in life, be it friends or potential interests, so in that sense something like sex isn't something i'd throw away. overall i guess i'm afraid of being vulnerable and potentially disappointing girls i might get involved with. i don't want them to get the wrong/a bad impression of me and my performance. yeah i might be "innocent", "pure" compared to most, but i have desires too. i'm sure someone on this page could give me perspective of some kind. thanks, y'all

[21/m] insecure about my lack of dating/sex experience, how do i gain confidence and explain myself to others?

61s2hd

be patient with yourself. go slow. if someone can't deal with that, they're the wrong person. be yourself. we all start at the beginning.

relationship_advice

61s2hd

i have had depression for most of my life - been in treatment for over 10 years. i've had multiple different therapists and have tried many different types of therapy, but have never felt any benefit from going to therapy. typically, the first 4 or so sessions are just bringing the therapist up to date on what is going on, what i have already tried, etc. after that, i never have much to talk about. usually, the therapist just starts asking me a bunch of questions, none of which really seem important. i'm not filtering or blocking out anything, i just really have nothing to say. what should i do?

nothing to talk about in therapy

c9j1s7

talk about that with your therapist. when all else fails, talk about the here and now and process of what's going on. if i were your therapist i might ask you things like "what does it mean to you to have nothing to say?" "is it a good thing? bad thing? neutral?" "do you want to have something to say? why or why not?" "what ultimately are you hoping to achieve out of therapy? "is now a good time for you to work on that?" maybe take some of your answers to these questions to your therapist and see how the session goes.

askatherapist

c9j1s7

i have dated my boyfriend for over 5 years. we have grown up together and learned so much from each other. we have discussed getting married. however, as i look to the future and look at our lives together, i just can't see us being married. while we have similar values and have good communication for some things, we have completely different interests and different views on where we want to go in the future. for him, he doesn't want kids, but said he would if i wanted. he also wants to move to another state for work, but i want to stay where we are now. i am also very concerned that he won't be mature enough by the time i'm 30 (that latest i want to have kids). while he is passionate about things he loves, he puts zero effort in things that do not interest him. he sometimes over commits and underdelivers. this is my big concern if we have kids-that he will be unwilling to pull his share of the work. being an introvert and somewhat anti-social, i have trouble connecting with people and getting close. there is definitely a fear that i will not be able to meet someone and achieve this level of closeness again. should i end this relationship when there really aren't any problems knowing that the future will likely put us down different paths? thank you for your feedback!

should i stay with my boyfriend? [gf 27, bf 28]

5s78pb

life is a package deal. in my experience, happy people, on a scale of 1-10, say they're at least an 8. that means happy people are either an 8, 9, or a 9.9. if you can't improve by talking, see a couples therapist to inch you towards 9.9 !

relationship_advice

5s78pb

hey everyone so i [21 f] have been dating my boyfriend [22] for almost two years now. i'm super happy with him, we have a great relationship and we're best friends. the only problem is, our sex life sucks. we have sex about once a month at the most, although i crave it and try to initiate it all the time. i know how important sex is for a serious relationship and i really enjoy having it. we have talked about it multiple times and he always promises to improve our sex life, but nothing ever happens. it's really frustrating and depressing, it has been really getting me down lately and i feel like i've tried it all. i don't know what's wrong. i really want to make this relationship work, but this is starting to really get to me and fuck up my confidence, although i'm very attractive and get approached by guys all the time. i think he's just really not that sexual. what should i do? can a relationship with an unsatisfying sex life last? edit: thank you so much for everyone's advice!! i'm gonna try to reply to everyone once i get off work!

in our early 20s, and our sex life sucks :(

67tqb6

suggest he see a doctor and therapist. could be medical or a psych problem.

relationship_advice

67tqb6

hello, i am a 19 year m, in a relationship. i have an insecurity that is people coming to know on my relationship. i am so scared, cuz those people/frends of mine they don't know how to respect a girl. once they saw my pic with my girlfriend on facebook and instagram, and they started teasing me. now i fear talking to them. even i fear posting with my gf after this. what should i do.? her birthday is coming soon..i fear posting her pics. i really get scared of these people who would come to knw about us. like they will comment, or try to interfere in my life. so i get insecure about all those things. what should i do.pls suggest and help . thanks :) waiting for a reply :)

hi. i m a m , 19 years old. need some suggestions about my insecurities.

6s322v

get off facebook. keep your life private

relationship_advice

6s322v

i'm a student and have had this terrible habit of avoiding homework at the last minute because there are so many other fun things to do at home! i realize that i get more work done when i am not at home so i am trying to commit to going to the library or a coffee shop as often as i can. do yall have trouble getting things done at home?

do you guys get work done in libraries n coffee shops and not so much at home?

ap7x2e

i go to my uni library where there is no fridge or pets and i have to pack my whole desk up to leave or else i risk getting stuff (laptop) stolen. it's extremely helpful. i know if i'm getting up it's only to pee or get lunch.

adhd

ap7x2e

i know everyone doesn't have the same experience across the board, but a lot of people with adhd i meet got their drivers license later. i'm 28, i still don't have mine. from a combination of loathing learning all the little things, trying to keep concentration while on the road, needing instructions to be more clear and ahead of time while driving with my parents, getting into fights with my parents about their teaching style, both of us mutually abandoning it because it was causing too much stress, the highschool driving instructor i had who's teaching style worked very well with my learning style took a long leave of absence so i couldn't hire him as a driving instructor and then not realizing how not having my license for years would add up in jobs i couldn't get(who's pay was always higher than the retail jobs i was working) because i needed to drive a work vehicle or the workplace was over an hour by bus but only 20 mins by car. i'm reflecting on this now because of corona, and the jobs i could apply for easily if i had a license, and oh yeah a vehicle. never tried to get jobs with higher wages so i could "save up for a car," i don't have a license, so why would i be thinking about that??? people make fun of me when they find out i don't have a driver's license at 28, and i ramble off some excuses that are partially true, but also i just had unmanaged adhd as a teen, and overworked parents(who probably also have adhd) who didn't push me too hard to follow up on it or explain why it was tedious but super useful to get it done then. at least i can relate to the i'm gay and can't drive memes????

can we talk about how learning how to drive with adhd is debilitating af?

jy0kpv

yep! i tried to get my licence when i was 17 and couldn't. i joined the military soon after and got my license while serving because i did a week long driving course that did high intensity driving 12 hours a day for five days. one hour a fortnight was never going to work.

adhd

jy0kpv

i read most of how to win friends and influence people and am slowly trying to make those ideas part of the way i interact with people. but there are some ways about myself, some principles, that go against the ideas in the book. for example: if i think i can say something to someone that will help encourage them, but could offend them a little bit as well (a candid criticism), i feel the urge to share it. but i'm also supposed to "never criticize, condemn, or complain." example from today: my mom shares with me that shes going to the gym today (a little backstory, shes "started exercising" twice this year, both times she went for one day and stopped.) so i tell her "ok but dont celebrate going for one day. celebrate after you've gone for a week." instead of just encouraging her, because i think giving empty and false praise is bad. i guess this is more of a vent than a question, i think i just need to give less fucks and bite the bullet and give empty praise when people want it? but at the same time i feel wrong doing that. i don't have the urge to please people so much that i should go against my instincts, but at the same time does me criticizing for the chance of improvement really do anything? any thoughts?

how to draw the line between pleasing people and sticking to your principles?

8n1c0t

as a therapist and supervisor of therapists something very important that i've learned over the years is to try your best not to give unsolicited advice or critiques unless by not doing so the person would be in danger. i think this is probably the best advice i could give you. you don't need to praise someone if you feel it's unwarranted either. sometimes the most appropriate thing is to do nothing and say "okay" or "alright" and move on. if you feel as though someone really needs your critique or advice but it doesn't fall into the danger category, ask them if it's okay if you share it with them and why you think it's important. more often than not, people are just talking and looking for acknowledgement that you heard them. not looking for advice, encouragement, or praise.

socialskills

8n1c0t

i posted in a few subs and just found this one. i am basically looking for as close to a diagnosis as is possible. i don't want a diagnosis to feel bad for myself or to buy pills illegally or anything sketchy, i just want to know what i am dealing with. i know a lot of you will be almost as good as a psychiatrist and i really don't want to speak to a psychiatrist. i guess the basics, i lack certain emotions like intimacy and love. i have what i believe is called avolition and depersonalization. i have asked around in a few mental health subs (schizoid, depression, sociopath) and all of those think i have none of these so i'm kind of lost. i have no interest in anything and all the free time and money i have goes towards making time pass quicker, be it consuming food, weed, tv, film, music or whatever. i have no dreams or goals. i sometimes feel as if i am in a simulation, because i seem to grow irritated very quickly by things that have no affect on others. for example, i can't comprehend how people are stupid enough to share those (share, bill gates is giving away an ipad!) shitty adverts, i can't comprehend how at work people are able to listen to the same 20 songs on loop every day without it drilling in their skull. they even chant along to the adverts that they are well versed in, that's how much they hear it. i don't understand how people have no problem with stuff like this. i am generally very emotionless, although i have like a "gap in my armor" for animals, specifically dogs. i feel almost no emotion but i cry if i think about if my dog were to die. if it matters, i think i see an innocence and purity in animals that i don't in humans. i don't think humans make decisions, i think they just follow impulses and hormones like animals, but humans have evolved negatively imo. i feel like a different species to people sometimes, i don't understand why people talk so much, who gives a fuck if your washing machine broke? who caaaaares about the traffic. i feel like i there are two versions of me. the real me, which is basically a shell. i have no interest yada yada mentioned above, and then the is the version of me i present to myself. i have gotten scarily good at pretending i have a personality, i can small talk well, flirt, and just generally get along with anyone, although that isn't me. my motivation behind having this other me is just so people don't judge me (i care more about what people think of me than i think of myself for some reason, i know it's wrong) i don't want a wife, i don't want kids, i don't care if my hair is messy, i don't wear nice clothes. please don't bother with the "we can't diagnose you go see a psychiatrist" that every sub has, i don't want a diagnosis, i just want to narrow down what i have. i'm not going to see a psychiatrist, and i want to beat or at least understand what i have without having to talk to someone. oh and any advice would help. i'll get these out of the way since they get suggested, a lot. i'm not addicted to weed, i've been mentally broken for about 6 years before i even used it. going for a walk isn't going to make me start feeling things again, it's just not. i walk my dogs every day and it does nothing for me besides letting me see my dog have fun. i don't need to get in shape, i don't need to socialize, because i don't want to. i have 0 desire for any of those things, i have tried both of those things, and they are not for me. thank you, if anyone read it all.

looking for advice.

5kf3lq

a shrink here. i'd say you're somewhere on the spectrum of normality rather than having a diagnosable mental illness (with the caveat that ive not met you). on the other hand you sound somewhat directionless in life, an early life crisis if you will. the cannabis use (depending on strength and regularity) might be exacerbating some of your symptoms.

mentalhealth

5kf3lq

i live in a fairly large city on the us east coast. i've been trying to find a therapist for weeks now. i looked on psychology today and emailed promising candidates. only a few have emailed me back saying they're full. the rest just haven't responded. i've looked for agencies/group practices but they're all either full or i've been there and had a bad experience. i prefer an actual psychologist with a doctorate, but at this point i'm getting desperate and any degree will do. what else could i be doing?

why is it so hard to find a therapist?

cbj3fe

can i ask why you want someone with a doctorate? a master’s level therapist is 60 credit hours with a doctorate around 90 (maybe 120). the training and residencies are the same. and while some psychologist do private practice, you’ll find more do testing and work in other settings. master’s level therapists, honestly, are the best therapists i know and i’ve been in the field for 30 years.

askatherapist

cbj3fe

hi, i'm biggy, 49 year old female and i've realised that if i continue the way i am then i won't see 50. i've had a destructive few years with alcohol. ultimately, it's caused me to break every relationship i've had, ate all my savings and made me feel so sick that there were some days i really felt like ending it all. a similar story to a lot of folk really and i'm just sick of my life being like this and i really want to stop drinking and get myself healthy again. i have no family at all and over the past couple of years have pushed away all my friend to minimum contact. i go home after work, open a bottle of wine then another, go to sleep, wake up, throw up and start the cycle again... that's not a life. can i ask what helped you all in the first few weeks? what motivated you to not give in again? i read about people putting rocks in a jar for every sober day and i like the visual aspect of that. any other hints or tips to keep my mind off drink and on my future? thanks and good luck to every one on here. your posts are very inspiring x

today is finally my day 1. any starting off tips appreciated.

d5wite

made a list of all the ways i had tried to moderate, which made me realize that i can't moderate. made a list of all the ways alcohol had screwed me over. wrote about all the good things that were happening to my body once i stopped poisoning it. listened to "this naked mind", read "alcohol explained" and "alcohol lied to me". journaled a lot. decided on action plans to avoid triggering situations or alter them in some way if they were unavoidable. and of course, this sub.

stopdrinking

d5wite

i’m coming up on 9 months clean and sober. my former drug(s) of choice was heroin, coke (raw and crack) and adderall. my issues began in 2013 with a shoulder operation, i was addicted oxycodone on and off until about 2016. august 25, 2016 i was in a really bad motorcycle accident that nearly ended my life. i was hospitalized for about a month and prescribed heavy pain meds to deal with the permanent injuries i suffered. the injuries are permanent, but the doctors made it very clear the pain meds were not... long and behold the cut me off. once my prescriptions were cut off... i made a choice to continue buying pills off the streets. the costs added up, and being out of work quickly led me to make the choice to buy heroin for the first time. fast forward 2.5 years... i was a full blown needle using junkie. my choices led me down that path, and i eventually chose to finally get clean for good. i truly hit my personal rock bottom. i checked into a state run detox for 7 days, and then moved into an oxford house. majority of my house mates go to meetings on a regular basis, and it helps them a lot. my first 30 days.. i went to just about 30 meetings as per my blackout requirements. i eventually found that meetings were not my thing, and the overall concept of a socially acceptable recovery is bullshit for me. i always find it funny running into the close minded people with a former drug addiction, who look down on people who stay clean in “untraditional ways”. here’s a list of my personal beliefs and outlook on my choice to stay clean. 1) staying sober for me is not based on the belief that i have an uncontrollable, incurable disease. while i was beginning to figure out my process months ago, i found that blaming my shitty life choices on a “disease” removes a lot of accountability i need to have for myself. i believe that choosing to continue using drugs, leads to a somewhat mental illness. 2) self reliance is a huge part of my recovery. many people i associate with and respect greatly, have a deep relying investment in recovery fellowships. this may work for them... but it doesn’t for me. i have a full time job, a family and regular responsibilities. even if i wanted to go to meetings, a lot of nights/weekends i wouldn’t be able to make it due to life on its own terms. in my opinion, if you can’t rely on yourself before anybody else, and cope with life’s sometimes shitty terms (when it comes in certain degrees)... you’re in trouble. i guess i’m personally blessed with a beautiful family and a great spouse that supports me. 3) in my opinion, addiction begins with a choice, and ends with a choice (or jail/death). you ultimately are put in a scenario where you choose to walk down the deadly path of addiction in one way or another. yeah... i know... some people don’t have a choice when their injured and their limbs are practically held together by gorilla glue. but we have a choice to follow the doctors orders and take the meds as prescribed, or fuck around because the meds seem to make life more bearable for that moment in time. i personally allowed my injuries to be an excuse to buy drugs off the streets once my doctors stopped writing prescriptions. i chose to continue down the dark path. i eventually chose to stop however, and continue to choose to not pick up again. 4) for me, meetings keep me living in the past rather then living in the future. for some, it makes them feel secure being reminded of very dark times, so they don’t make the same mistakes. i could never forget the horrible things i’ve done to myself and others. but in order to allow myself to move forward and become a better person, i need to look forward. a lot of people say when they leave a meeting, they feel great... i feel the same thing when i’m at my 5 year old sons football game. or when i’m spending time with my amazing fiancé. living in a sober house is difficult enough for me when it comes to my recovery process, but it allows my fiancé to sleep better at night for the time being. oxford is a great equal shared expense sober living network. they are not affiliated with na, aa or any other fellowship. it helped me stay accountable in early recovery, and also helped me rebuild the foundation i’m still building today. again... this post reflects on my own opinions. traditional 12 step fellowships, iop programs or other “acceptable” recovery process’s are not the only acceptable way to recover. there’s nothing worse then captain recovery bashing others who do things differently.

narcotics anonymous (or other fellowships) is not the only way

d6p7fx

thanks for your post. i work in the field, but i rarely refer to addiction as a disease. it’s more complex than that. yes, using drugs and alcohol changes your brain chemistry, but you had a choice at one point (similar to other so-called lifestyle diseases like lung cancer, obesity, and diabetes.) long-term drug and alcohol use damages the brain, especially the pre-frontal cortex, which is responsible for reactivity and rational decision-making. you may have heard that alcohol and drugs kill brain cells-that’s not true, but they do destroy some of the connections that a person who does not use would be able to make. (the brain cells are there, they’re just not talking to each other.) it sounds like you also have some protective factors that will help you in your recovery. you did not grow up in a home where your parents were using heroin and shot you up as a child or sent you to the crackhouse every morning. you didn’t start using until later in life, which increases your chances at maintaining long-term sobriety. you also have a wife and a child; it sounds like they are supportive. alternatively, many of my clients are homeless and/or grew up in an abusive family and do not have a stable support network, which is where na and aa come in. aa and na are not the only way to get clean. there are many (many) different avenues for that... i recognize that the 12 step approach is helpful for some more than others. the key components of the 12 step approach are making difficult changes, giving back, and surrounding yourself with people who are supportive. happy that you are not another statistic of the heroin epidemic. take care, cassie

addiction

d6p7fx

i've been going there for about 2 months and the people there are pretty cool people if you know what i mean but i feel so isolated from the rest of them and like an outsider, please help me i don't know what to say to them.. :(

how can i make friends at my kickboxing class?

19iv32

try to invite them to hang out outside of the class. if you strike up a conversation during the class and it's going well, then be like "hey, you seem pretty cool. want to hang out sometime?" and see where it goes.

socialskills

19iv32

getting diagnosed at age 32 this year was a total game-changer--i've learned so much about how my brain works, and started to forgive myself for the things that are hard. now that i understand adhd, though, it's like i can't stop seeing everything from the adhd lens, especially this past few weeks. i notice all the time how my food, my sleep, exercise, etc. impact my brain, and how adhd impacts my work and social interactions. it's like i'm the subject of my own (unintentional) research study and i'm observing myself 24/7. i'm starting to feel really overwhelmed with how much of my brain is spent thinking about adhd. not even sure if this makes sense as a complaint--it's like i'm just living my life but there's also a constant consciousness about how everything impacts my adhd or how my adhd impacts things. i'm so tired of being so aware, and i feel like it's taking away from my ability to do other things because it's taking up so much brain space and causing me anxiety. is this some sort of meta-hyperfocus? is this an adderall side-effect that's kicking in after 6 months of taking it? i do have a coach i'm meeting with next week, and i meditate once a day usually, but i'm just finding it really exhausting and overwhelming but can't seem to turn it off.

overwhelmed with self-knowledge?! or: how do you stop thinking about your adhd?

djb8ov

so i was diagnosed about a year ago and went through a really similar experience. my husband, family, and friends got so tired of hearing about adhd because it was all i talked about for weeks. the good news is that, like most rabbit holes we go down, this one will also eventually lose its novelty and you won’t think about it much anymore. for me, it’s a rabbit hole that lasted longer than most but did pass. it sounds like you’re doing helpful things to cope, so keep it up and know this won’t last forever. it just had to run its course for me.

adhd

djb8ov

i quit drinking last november. my employee and friend of 10 years did not. he had a rough couple months, and i tried to be there for him when i could, but things got progressively worse. he ended up in the hospital last month and then again sunday awaiting liver and kidney transplant. he passed away last night. it sucks, but i want everyone to be aware that the dangers are real. good people can die young. iwndwyt

just want to share

95n5g0

so sorry to hear that. the risks are immense. may he rest in peace.

stopdrinking

95n5g0

i'm 19 years old, currently on my second semester of college. ever since i started college i have liked a guy in my class. i have been dealing with my shyness/anxiety/overthinking with no success, and i haven't build enough courage to approach this guy. he's pretty shy too, so that doesn't help. just recently i realized that what's holding me back so much is the constant fear of others seeing me try for this guy. i don't find myself that pretty and there are other girls in class way prettier. this guy is pretty handsome so i always think he might prefer those other girls over me. how do i get over these thoughts? how do i stop caring? any advice will be really appreciated. extra info: we're both on a group chat and we share funny gifs/memes, but we barely talk in person. the other day we looked at each other and we held eye contact for a bit, until he smiled and looked away. it might not be that important, but i just felt it longer than usual lol.

how do you get over the fear of others judging you when flirting/trying with a guy?

8je71j

practical question: if he's shy then wouldn't that mean he doesn't talk to a lot of other people or hang out with them so far as you've seen? if so, it shouldn't be too hard to catch him after class or during a break and strike up conversation without having to do it in front of a group of others. as far as the fear of judgement. it gets better over time. the more you do the things you want, be brave, and face the fear, the more it will subside. the longer and more you avoid doing things because of the fear, the stronger it will become. all in all, people who are going to be judgmental of you for flirting are probably just jealous that they don't have the confidence to do it themselves and are probably more anxious about situations like that than you are. make it a point to start casually greeting him if you pass him on the way to class and make eye contact. a simple "hello" "good morning" etc. will do a lot to relieve your anxiety in talking to him in general over time. make small talk. comment on something he's wearing or something he posted to the group chat. after you've had a few conversations with him, either give him your number in person and say you've been trying to get out more lately and for him to message you if he wants to hang out, or if you're not feeling so confident, send him a private message.

socialskills

8je71j

age: 27 height: 5'5" gender: m duration of complaint: 4 years past and current medical history: none medications: none i'm not sure if i'm experiencing hypnogogic or hypnopompic hallucinations, so i'm looking for help. this has been occurring for a while, but last night, at 2am, i woke up to a loud thud. i was awake for about 3 minutes, not feeling tired and not dreaming. then i started hearing a telephone ringing in my left ear. it was like an old fashioned telephone of some sort. it wouldn't stop even after 5 minutes. that's when i forced myself to lie down and eventually sleep 10 mins later. i have also had two voices converse with me at 10am before even though i had woken up at 8am. so i don't know where the cutoff is between the hypnogogic and hypnopompic hallucinations is and some psychotic disorder. thanks!

hypnogogic/hypnopompic hallucinations or psychotic disorder?

8xz61w

2 hours after sleep is well outside the window for hypnopompic hallucinations. the question then is whether you have any symptoms other than auditory hallucinations and whether the hallucinations bother you. if no and no, it's an odd phenomenon but not concerning by itself. otherwise it might be worth figuring out what's going on and doing something about it.

askdocs

8xz61w

have you been in treatment for depression or anxiety in the past 5 years? take a brief 15-minute survey for a chance to win one of four $25.00 gift cards. help us advance the science of mental health! follow the link below to reach the survey: [link to survey](WEBLINK) participants must have received treatment including therapy or inpatient treatment in the past 5 years and be 18 years or older. participants with a history of bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or other conditions featuring psychosis are not eligible. thank you for your time and consideration.

survey about treatment: take a 15-minute survey and be entered in a raffle for one of four $25 gift cards (moderator approved research post)

5n79g0

this survey is horrible. i backed out after about twenty poorly worded and poorly constructed questions about some center that doesn't apply.

anxiety

5n79g0

hello everyone. i am fairly new around these parts but have been a lurker for a while. most of my life i was believed to have aspergers. it wasn't until a year ago that that diagnosis was false and mislead after having a new therapist speak with me for about 2 years. (they diagnosed me with it after 3 days) i've done some reading and have read that bpd and autism spectrum disorders are easily confused. however, last year i was finally with utmost confidence diagnosed with bpd and it took me a while to process. i was curious if it was truly common or not? it's been years but it finally feels good to be on track and getting somewhere.

is it common for therapists and psychologists to confuse aspergers and bpd?

4wep9h

that's crazy that you say that! i'm a therapist and i've worked with aspergers and autism, and i have always noticed and sometimes worried that i might have aspergers. only at times though. it does seem similar in some aspects, from a therapist lens

bpd

4wep9h

i started going and the first two times i left i was like,”oh my god”, i have so many problems and issues that i didn’t even realize? this thing is just the tip of the iceberg it feels like now lol. we tried to talk about the reason why i was there a few weeks ago and i just like... freaked out a little and then they started asking me questions about my childhood and then i completely shut down, only said no to everything they asked, didn’t want to talk, couldn’t talk, had zero thoughts about anything until after i had left. last week was more chilled, but like, holy shit, do i realize now i am swimming in issues. so,yeah, is that normal for people??

is it normal to go to therapy for one specific issue and then feel like your whole life is a huge mess?

bmdoje

sometimes we don’t realize how interrelated issues can be. i would imagine there is a theme that this “mess” has in common. for example, if someone comes to therapy because of a work-related stressor they may uncover that they have difficulty self-advocating. as they realize this is a problem for them they will begin to notice other areas in their life where this issue has cropped up. you aren’t a *mess*...you are just doing some self-improvement. good luck!

askatherapist

bmdoje

so these past couple weeks have been brutal. my schedule changes weekly and it really fucks with my pay. this has left me broke for days at a time, unable to buy any booze. this has forced me to pull quick, shakey tapers. if it wasn't for weed, this would be impossible. these have been my longest bouts of semi-sobriety since i left the hospital in january. what i've noticed is there's a brief honeymoon phase where the wd's stop and you almost feel like a normal human. it's strange, but you like it. you smell things you haven't smelled in years. you want to eat everything. savor everything. you notice the little things. you feel on top of the world. happy, healthy, you can do anything you want to. then the fucking weed wears off and you remember why you started drinking in the first place. your brain runs rampant with stupid, anxious thoughts. you hate yourself. you think you're a piece of shit. why do i still have this shit job? why did i fuck up that date so badly? how will i save for an apartment? for some of us, day to day life just isn't bearable in our own brains. the world is full of billions of selfish people, making conversation and doing things they don't want to do. sobriety is fucking dull. once you've been to the other side, there's no going back. call me weak, call me a piece of shit addict. i don't care. why struggle? fuck it. i surrender.

surrender.

6d3wis

i'm all about harm reduction. if you can't do total abstinence, keep smoking weed. it's less harmful, but you still get to alter consciousness. can you get a prescription and/or is it legal where you are?

cripplingalcoholism

6d3wis

good morning all! i will try to make this as concise as possible. i was diagnosed it a 3mm pituitary microadenoma almost exactly one year ago. it was found after i went to an obgyn for some issues i was having with sudden weight gain, cystic acne, and irregular and painful periods. they diagnosed me with pcos and sent me to the lab for some blood work. i had 3 blood tests in a row come back with high prolactin levels. they send me to an endocrinologist who ran some additional tests and sent me to get an mri where they found the tumor initially. i changed birth controls at my obgyn's guidance right around this time to help better manage my pcos symptoms. as soon as i changed birth controls my monthly prolactin levels were back to low-normal levels. fast forward to a few weeks ago, i went for my follow up yearly mri and they sent me the following notes from my mri: indication: follow-up pituitary adenoma comparison: 7/24/2017 technique: multiplanar, multisequence mri of the brain and pituitary were performed before and after the intravenous administration of 7.5 milliliter gadavistv1. findings: on today's exam, there is an area of hypoenhancement in the right aspect of the pituitary measuring 5 mm concerning for a microadenoma. the area of hypoenhancement in the left aspect of the pituitary is not seen. infundibulum is midline. no mass effect on the optic nerves or optic chiasm. cavernous sinuses are normal. the brain is normal in signal intensity and morphology. no mass lesion or abnormal enhancement is identified. the ventricles, sulci, and cisterns are age-appropriate in size and configuration. the major intracranial flow voids appear intact. impression: area of hypoenhancement measuring 5 mm in the right aspect of the pituitary concerning for microadenoma after this my endocrinologist had me do a blood cortisol test which came back high. they also ordered an acth test, another blood cortisol test, and i did a 24 hour urine test for cortisol. i am still waiting on the results for these. i have kaiser, so it has been incredibly difficult to get quality time to talk this over with my endocrinologist and i feel like i just want a second opinion but kaiser makes it incredibly difficult to do this. even getting my medical records has been a struggle that i am still working through. my main concern is in the findings from the mri they say it is "concerning for a microadenoma" but my doctor doesn't really seem that concerned. is this wording common for mri findings--what does "concerning" mean in this context? if it helps i am 27 years old. i do have some symptoms that have started in the past two months that are strange such as frequent headaches and has become really incredibly difficult to lose weight even while eating relatively healthy and tracking my nutrition. i am slightly overweight at 169 and 5 ft 7. i have also been having some issues with my blood sugar levels, even though i eat a lower carb diet (try to stick under 70-80g/ day). sorry--i know this is a lot to read! i am really just looking for any advice or words of wisdom with dealing with issues with the pituitary. any advice would be greatly appreciated i have been quite worried about all of these tests and just want to make sure that i make the best decision for my health. thanks for taking the time to read this! tldr; growing pituitary microadenoma; doctor seems unconcerned. kaiser makes it difficult to feel taken care of. advice wanted.

in a tough spot with kaiser...looking for second opinion or advice

97ssi4

"concerning for x" means that the imaging shows a result likely to be x, not that x is necessarily cause for a high level of concern. the joke in medicine is that radiologists never outright state anything. what they see is "consistent with x," "concerning for y" and "possible z," and they recommend "clinical correlation" by the initial doctor. it sounds like there are still results pending, and after that you should have a follow-up with the endocrinologist to discuss best next steps. the management might be surgical and might not be, but it doesn't sound as though it's something highly urgent.

askdocs

97ssi4

i'm 16/f sophomore and my boyfriend 18/m senior is going to prom with his girl best friend he made promise of going to when he was in 8th grade. i told him i did not feel comfortable with the idea, but he claims that he is doing it anyways because he made a promise. they made a promise that no matter what if they were dating anybody, they will still go together. at the time this promise was made, he had a little crush on her. he said that she has a boyfriend too and "he's not flipping out on her" but i don't care if her boyfriend doesn't care, because i do. i don't want him to go because i want to be the one he goes with for his last high school prom, but he says that he will go with me for my junior and senior prom. i don't know what i should do. please give advice if i am tripping or i'm having a normal reaction.

boyfriend wants to go to prom with his girl best friend he made a promise with

7yw4xl

all you can do is make it clear how much this hurts you, then decide if you still want to be with him. he will almost certainly not be taking you to your proms in any case.

relationship_advice

7yw4xl

i don't know if this is my anxiety but i love christmas and i love buying people gifts. i am currently in tears because i've just walked the whole shopping centre and surfed the internet and still haven't got a single thing for my partner. nothing seems to be the right thing to buy.

is anyone finding it hard xmas shopping?

7k7db0

there isn't a right christmas gift. all we can hope for is good enough. keep this mindset, buy good enough, and refocus away from feared thoughts that they'll hate the gifts. maybe they will, maybe they won't, but worrying yourself won't help you find a better gift.

ocd

7k7db0

hello /r/relationship_advice, as the title states, i need some help with reconnecting with my grandma. she has had dementia and manic depression for my entire life. because of not so great parents, i spent most of my childhood with her. don't get me wrong, she was a very loving grandma, i just ended up having to take care of her and my younger sister growing up. grandma would have psychotic fits (i know it's not her fault), and after time i grew to resent that about her, even though i knew it was hard for her to control. i resented that she would go days without taking her medicine, then accidentally take too much and hallucinate at night. she caused me to fear the dark as a child, and influenced overeating unhealthy food in my youth, which i've been fighting since i've grown up; which i've been having much success with i might add. :) well, about two years ago, my uncle who has power of attourney over my grandma (will omit other family drama) sold her completely paid-for house and sent her to an overpriced care home instead of getting her a live-in nurse. he was only thinking about getting the money for the house, even though it was her comfortable safe space. since then, her condition has worsened being in a foreign place, and the emotional burden she has on me caused me to become very distant. granted, i moved out years ago and live about 3 hours away, but i've slowly cut off all contact, including phone calls. my sister and i are the only family that visits her, since her sons have had enough of her and she divorced my grandpa long ago. i know she's very lonely, but i am so anxious of opening that door again. how can i bridge this gap? i can't live with the guilt of her dying before i speak to her again. tl/dr: i need to speak to my grandma that has dementia. i love her deeply, she pretty much raised me, too anxious to make the call.

i (24f) need help reconnecting with my grandmother (78f)

5kxs8x

?? you say you visit already--not sure what's missing

relationship_advice

5kxs8x

i drove myself to the er at 4 am on february 1 after experiencing the most intense and unrelenting abdominal pain i have ever felt. after a ct scan, chest x-ray, and some blood work, the diagnosis was clear: acute pancreatitis. i had been drinking daily off and on for the last thirteen years and things finally caught up with me. i, or rather my body, made the decision then and there to call it quits. i spent the next thirteen days in the hospital. i have not had any cravings yet as there is still a drain inside my pancreas; it will not come out for another three weeks. alcohol does not at all seem appealing when there is a tube protruding from tummy draining infection into a bag you have to tuck in your underwear. i am a little scared if the cravings will return after the drain comes out. this experience is what has brought me to r/stopdrinking. thank you for listening.

my sobriety story so far

47yl8i

seven years straight without a day off. medical issue that took me to the hospital as well. i'm nearing towards 30 days sober and i'm so thankful for all my sober time that i can't imagine starting back up at this point. don't underestimate the idea of one day at a time. focus on getting healthy and you'll surprise yourself just how strong you are. i will not drink with you today.

stopdrinking

47yl8i

i am a 22 year old male. i am 6'0' and weight 189 pounds. i am white. i have cardiomyopathy, klinefelter syndrome, and noonan syndrome. i am just curious at what my life expectancy is, as i want to live life to the fullest. i am on no medications at this time. any help would be great. thank you

life expectancy

6rxuha

noone knows. just live your life sensibly and enjoy the time that you have.

askdocs

6rxuha

i won’t give in to the stress, anxiety, depression, loneliness, and fear. i will not drink to make myself feel better. i will not drink to fix my problems. i will not drink so that i can actually get some sleep. i will not drink to punish myself for things i’ve done and things that i couldn’t control. i will not buy into the thinking that i’m worthless and damaged. that no one will ever love me, and all this baggage, so i should just drink myself into oblivion and slowly fade away from reality. i will sit here, safely locked in my apartment, un-showered, still in pjs, watching return of the jedi, and scrolling this sub. i will tell friends and family that i need some support today. i will tell my mom that i had struggled to care about myself and my existence for quite some time. i will cry, a lot. i’ll embrace the struggle of acknowledging i needed massive change in my life and that it’s not easy to do. i will embrace the process of change.

i won’t do it, wouldn’t be prudent.

8h8mqm

well done. youre really staying with your emotions rather than numbing them with alcohol. you can do this.

stopdrinking

8h8mqm

[fl] i'm married with two children (ages 8 and 4). i have suicidal thoughts and ideations. i want to voluntarily check myself into a mental hospital, but i'm afraid my children will be taken away. does that happen? edit: thank you to everyone that has responded. i feel much better about feeling help now.

will my kids be taken away if i check myself into a mental hospital?

92ls40

inpatient and crisis mental health worker here. hospitals are concerned about a person's potential to harm themselves or others, yes. clinicians and doctors are mandated reporters of child neglect or abuse. this means that if you express any intention or thoughts of harm or if you talk about past harm or abuse towards your kids, they would have to make a report to child protection. your kids still wouldn't be taken away at this point though, because cps would have to launch an investigation that would look for evidence for harm substantial enough to remove them from your care. if your children aren't in danger, and you need help for you, the focus will be on you. no report would be made to cps, and therefore there would be no danger of having your children taken away. also, i live and work in the us.

mentalhealth

92ls40

i have tried antibiotics prescribed by dermatologists, accutane, clean & clear, proactive, amongst others. i maintain good hygiene and am looking for alternative measure i can take.

i'm a 20 year old male with persistent acne and i feel like i have tried every treatment method out there. what else can i do?

3v1cua

have you visited /r/skincareaddiction ? they have a ton of helpful advice, routines, and people who have seen pretty dramatic improvements in acne. i don't post there but lurk. after relying on pretty harsh treatment methods (tough exfoliating, proactive, tons of clean & clear etc etc), i switched to a much gentler routine and it made a huge difference. granted, i'm a female in her 30s so i may have different issues, but their advice really helped my skin.

advice

3v1cua

as i've been going to meetings, i've collected 3 chips so far (my 24-hour, 1 month, and 2 month - hurrah!). i was wondering what people do with them? i bought a keychain that holds a chip to put my 24 hour chip on, but what do people do with them as they collect them?

what do you do with your chips?

1ifa14

i keep my white chip in my left sock and my current chip in my right sock. the other 4 are in my car.

stopdrinking

1ifa14

my friend and her bf (24 each) have had a strained relationship since the beginning. every few months something happens to make them have a fight and question everything. when they first started dating, my friend was super confident and trusting, had no major insecurities or trust issues. now she's developing a lot of issues over time, and getting trust issues. she and he keep saying she's paranoid, but he always does shady shit. they had a huge fight last weekend and my friend was going to break up with him, but when she went to talk to him they ended up talking for hours and my friend told me that it was all her fault. that she's causing all the problems in her relationship. this is app emotional abuse, not physical. i want to emphasize that. but he manipulates her. everything is her fault. ive seen the texts he's sent and he will do things he knows upsets her and then blame her for getting upset. he lectures her about how she needs to be more open and communicate, but then lies to her. whenever he knows she's getting upset, he deletes all his messages online and on his phone. he talks to her like she's stupid and always brings up how he's going through difficult times so she's being selfish. and she believes it all. she'll go into situations with him so sure and strong and then walk away saying she messed up and she's so crazy, she's sorry he had to deal with her. she's become a completely different person. i really think this relationship is emotionally abusive. should i tell her? how should i do it? i'm trying to be supportive, but i'm so upset that it's all her fault again and she's the bad guy and he's the victim. again. every time.

should i tell my friend her relationship is abusive?

5s1gij

you haven't given any examples of abuse

relationship_advice

5s1gij

how important is it for therapists to respect confidentiality in the psychology feild? i went to a treatment program where my confidentiality was not respected at all, can they get in trouble for this?

confidentiality

2375e4

in the united states- confidentiality is legally mandated. there are a few exceptions: -if you've signed a release of information -if your therapist feels that you are at an imminent risk of harm to yourself or to others -if you disclose child abuse or abuse of an elder or vulnerable adult -if it is court ordered when you say that they did not respect your confidentiality, what do you mean exactly?

mentalhealth

2375e4

when i was younger i was bitten by a tick and after going through extreme aches and pains i was tested and diagnosed with lyme disease. i quickly was prescribed antibiotics and it worked like magic. however, with the recent covid-19 outbreak, i’m concerned that i might be vulnerable because supposedly lyme disease is chronic. i’m only 17, and i’m a healthy guy, but i’m still really worried that my immune system is “compromised.” i tried looking it up but i didn’t find anything. can someone let me know if i’m really at risk here?

[17 male] am i more susceptible to covid-19 if i had lyme disease?

fogpjg

lyme disease is not a chronic disease. if it was treated and cured when you were younger, it has no effect now.

askdocs

fogpjg

things are going very badly in my life. i want to see a psychiatrist but i don't have any money or health insurance. what can i do. i'm not working and i tried to look for work but i can't concentrate. life is too hard and i dont' want to live anymore.

i want to see a psychiatrist but i have no money and no health insurance. what can i do?

1e6yo2

if you live near a university, most of them that offer degrees in counseling have a free clinic attached to them ( or sliding scale-- the clinic near me charges $1-$30 per session, depending on family income. most people pay just $5 per session.). call the department and ask! good luck!

suicidewatch

1e6yo2

​ i went to therapy after already going through few shitty therapists. this one was different. she finally got me and i really liked her even though at first we got a bit of an argument. despite this i was forced to leave her because she worked at a medical company in which i had bought a subscription and it turned out that meetings with psychologist were limited. i had no money so i had to take a break from her. when she heard that she said that she is sad about it and tried to persuade me to stay. i asked her if that was about the money to which she replied that she gets paid for sitting there no matter what. but i remember her saying that she could get a lot of money through occupational medicine which implies that she gets paid per patient. on the other hand she has a rich bf and probably doesn't have to worry about money. when i was leaving we hugged and stared at each other's eyes. she also told me to email her how my exams for uni turned out. i went back to her after about 3 months. i noticed that she shook my hand at the beginning and end of the session (earlier we did that maybe one or two times. refused to hug though. said that it was a boundary crossing.) she said that she really likes me and it gives her to see me. i also noticed that during the session she revealed a very intimate part of information about her (maybe not fully deliberate. it was more like a suggestion) is she trying to trick me into going more to her? i'm planning to anyway. it's cool that she likes me but is she honest? maybe i am too paranoid. during the session i told her that i think i start getting depressed and it looked like she was trying to help the best she could. after some time i also started getting resentful towards my previous therapists so maybe it's something wrong with me?

is my therapist exploiting me?

c287kk

are there parallels between the situation with your therapists and situations/relationships in your personal life?

askatherapist

c287kk

i’m not holding a joint while i type this, i swear, but here me out. i’ve recently been on a bit of a ‘spiritual’ journey trying to figure out what my thoughts are basically about life as a materialist person. this might be sound rather bleak or troubled, but i’m pretty sure my mental health is fine. i went to a therapist and i scored way too low on anxiety or depression to really warrant paying let me first say i’m a pretty young guy so this might explain the rest i’m going to say. i have always had a huge tendency to overthink things i’ve been told, but i’ve always seen it as trying to dig into a rabbit of thoughts for truth or clarity about it. due to some recent stuff in my life, i’ve been trying to understand everyone’s place in the world, especially in the grand scheme of things like death. i’ll try and illustrate my confusions with literal thoughts i’ve had: “these people are having such a good time. i mean, their living is casting and playing video games. it seems so simple. yet life can be so cruel. what if they don’t make it to an old age? what if their parents die soon? how are they able to accept the fact that one day they will die and there life could quite possibly end miserably and in constant pain? do they not think about it? they will one day be tossed by fate to a state where they are doomed to die - to enter an eternal cease of consciousness never to know a single thing again or to ever know a thing again. everything they’ll ever do would be irrelevant to them at that point.” stuff like that. it’s not really depressive ramblings, as my happiness levels are oddly still pretty good despite having thoughts like this, since i think it’s a lack of knowledge thing. i don’t truly believe these things, but i don’t how to rule them out. i feel some of the answers here will rightly be “stop thinking and live your life, it’s pretty good if you don’t get in your own way too much” but i’ve never felt at ease by “not thinking”. it seems like an escapism - realizing that life is too unbearable to think too hard about and it’s best to commit philosophical suicide and shut that part of your brain off. basically i’m looking for two things: 1. how to answer the thought i’ve thought to myself. living the good, simple life despite knowing the death that mortality promises us that is in store for us. 2. how to justify not obsessing over this - why it isn’t escapism like i’ve described. and why my thoughts are painting too dark a picture. at least i hope it is. thanks! just trying to understand life. like i said, my mental well-being is fine. i’m not ashamed to it admit it’s not if it weren’t.

need life advice!

8vjoyy

great question. this is something that i think about a lot seeing as i'm an atheist, existentialist, and as someone who uses existential psychotherapy as part of my practice. i could go on and on and on and on about this subject but i'll try to be fairly concise and answer your questions. 1. "the good, simple, life" is fine for some, but it's not what everyone aspires to. some folks have pretty grand long term goals and things they want to accomplish in their lives. i think being fully aware of your mortality and the finite nature of things, while being incredibly terrifying can be equally motivational. it can be a really helpful kick in the pants when you find yourself struggling to break out of habits like putting things off in order to play video games or binge watch netflix. your very real and existential realization can either cripple you or set you free, depending on how you use it. there's nothing inherently wrong with having some downtime, so long as we recognize it's recharging our batteries so we can do the things we truly want to do and not becoming something that exacerbates procrastination. 2. it certainly is a form of escapism for some. others, specifically those who have a belief in the afterlife, well they really do believe they have all the time in the world, so death is not that big of a worry for them. it's one of the primary reasons people are drawn to religions, it helps alleviate realistic fear of the unknown when it comes to death. others who don't have a strong belief in an afterlife scenario but choose not to think about their death are generally doing so for one of 2 reasons. either they've never allowed themselves to come to the realization of their own mortality or choose to ignore it for their own reasons. i said that thinking often on this can be either debilitating or motivational. for those that know it would only be debilitating choose to ignore it so they can live the best life they can in spite of something they have no control over (the fact they and everyone else will die one day). ha.... so much for being concise.

mentalhealth

8vjoyy

in october 2016 i had a huge crush on someone and after settling as just ''friends'' i decided to cut of contact, and for the next 5 months after that i had stuck thoughts on a loop 24/7 like an image or a 2nd screen in front of me which was her, it lead to feelings of depression but with time got less severe, i do have ocd maybe that? i do not experience panic attacks flashbacks etc but i do remain hesitant to think about the trauma and i go to great lengths of avoiding her in fear of the stuck image thoughts returning

can you have mild ptsd if you were not exposed to bad trauma?

68ths2

that would be an adjustment disorder (should you wish to medicalise your situation), essentially a stress reaction. give it time.

askdocs

68ths2

my father [64m] just finished radiation therapy. he had stage 2 cancer in his mouth/lower jaw. he cannot drink anything. even just using a rinse to clear his mouth of shedding/saliva/whatever is extremely painful. he has been taking all meds and food through a stomach tube for 2 weeks. lately, he sleeps almost all day, which means i don't have enough time to let his stomach process the liquid food so i can give him water. also, he gets a generic laxative powder everyday because he's always constipated. can someone please tell me how i can help him? i tried to research if pedialyte, gatorade, or liquid iv can help, but the results seem mixed. some say they're good to use for hydration and some warn against it because of the sugar, artificial dyes, and some other ingredients. i tried to google how to keep someone hydrated, but all the results are about eating/drinking and i can't use that. what can i get to help him? is there a better alternative to these? please help. i can't get enough water in him and he's starting to suffer the side effects of dehydration, which coupled with radiation and surgery recovery is a nightmare. does anyone have suggestions?

how can you hydrate a cancer patient who can't drink? please help me. my father is very ill.

kddtk3

you need to discuss this with his medical team. there should be a plan for feeds that includes adequate nutrition and adequate fluid. basically, everything he would eat and drink, but through a tube. if he can’t get enough through boluses (large amounts in a short time, like meals) then he might need continuous feeds. overnight feeding is possible. he should not be getting only tube feeds without free water if he isn’t getting enough water, but that needs to be determined by a dietician.

askdocs

kddtk3

hello reddit, sorry if this is the wrong place but i’m looking for some advice on how to help a family member of mine. i’m currently sitting in the airport on my way to see my uncle in las vegas to check in and see how things are going, thought i would turn to y’all and see if you had any suggestions. a little back story on him, he’s been in vegas for about 15 years and for the last ten has been working at the same job. over time things have slowly gotten worse and worse (gambling, lack of motivation, depression, paranoia) with losing his job sending things over the edge. he is currently back to work at a call center but has no knowledge of using a computer or technology in general, he just got a smart phone in december 2015. my family is currently taking care of all the bills as he is not earning enough to pay for them himself. we don’t have a problem helping him out as that’s what family does but he shows no desire to find more/better work or work on issues that he has with society. he is a very skeptical and paranoid person, he thinks everyone is out to get him and get caught up on these grand conspiracy theories that have no direct effect but he dwells on them and completely destroys his will do do anything. he despises religion and will have nothing to do with it, which causes rifts between the rest of my family, they are quite religious. i can feel the hammer coming down soon if nothing changes, but i don’t feel like we are there yet as i think there is more we can do. my question to you is, where do i start? what kind of resources are there to help him and how do i get him motivated to want to be better and get over some of these things he dwells on? is it possible or do we just have to let go? once again sorry if this is in the wrong place, if so let me know a better place to post. if there is any other info or clarification need please ask. tl;dr – 55 year old uncle currently living off my family with what we belive to be undiagnosed mental health issues. looking for advice and resources in the las vegas area.

looking for help with family member

6sglqh

sadly, you can't force someone to get help if they don't want it for themselves. you and your family can however set firm boundaries and expectations of your uncle. ie. "we will continue to help support you financially so long as you do (and prove that you are doing) the following........ and if you don't you'll be cut off" the only way this will work is your family is actually willing to stick to their guns and follow through. this guy may need some tough love if he's not willing to comply with what you and your family is asking. as far as resources, therapy is always a good place to start. if he has insurance (either private or medicaid) great. here's a quick blog article that explains some of the ins and outs of getting connected WEBLINK however, if he's not actually interested in getting help or changing, it's not going to do all that much. going back to the boundary and expectation thing.... at this point... why should he change? if someone was paying my bills all the time i'd have a hard time getting motivated to do all the hard work necessary to get to the same point i'd be at whether i did anything or not.

mentalhealth

6sglqh

hello everybody on nosurf, yesterday i managed to abstain till late in the evening. i suddenly got more drive to do things i procrastinated on for ages. i studied for an hour or two and in addition to that memorized a long page. that's definitely progress for me and my brain. i also got withdrawal symptoms. i found myself crying all of a sudden. it happened a few times towards the evening. i felt like i was a child again. it was uncomfortable. but i knew i was going to be ok. i reanabled social media at 9.30 and surfed the internet till 2.20 am. that's almost 5 hours. not happy about the time i surfed but altleast now i know which time i need to watch out. but i also feel i made some progress and that i might slowly succeed in reducing the 5 hours on that website down significantly. i can imagine i would be able to go so much farther in my own personal pursuits. this alone makes it worth it to continue with nosurf.

managed to abstain till 9.30 pm. withdrawal symptoms.

do9xsd

addiction generally develops as an attempt to find relief or escape from some intolerable pain. so it makes sense that your abstinence brought up a lot of discomfort and tears. it's really tough to bear without a numbing agent. but if you can work on healing that underlying pain, you will heal the addiction.

nosurf

do9xsd

i'm (31/m) having second thoughts about getting married. my fiance (29/f) and i are currently going to catholic marriage classes, required to get married in the church) which are total crap. had to sit through on today where we were told "birth control causes abortion". i've been feeling uneasy for a while and dealing with these bible thumping retards is just the icing on the cake. i quit a lucrative offshore job for her after nearly 2 years of dating, been together 4 years now where i've been bouncing from job to job and falling deeper into depression. she works 12 hour days, then comes home and plays tablet games for 3-4 hours, whines that i don't do the dishes and then repeats the cycle. she makes $90k/yr and is basically living paycheck to paychek. anytime i don't do what she wants she pulls the " you're gonna make me cry" routine and starts talking about how i don't love her. i can't stand her family, the parents talk shit when i complain about $100+ dinners (they're broke and love paycheck to paycheck) the brother constantly brags how he makes $500k/yr and talks down because i'm not an engineer, and the sister is better than everyone. i don't know at this point, i'm not some super emotional or deep person, kinda feels like its just the next step in the process and i keep wondering if i'm making the right choice. edit: i keep feeling like i'm missing out on other opportunities. i need adventure and change in my life and i'm stuck in the same 9-5 bullshit that goes nowhere.

(31/m) having second thoughts about marriage to fiance (29/f)

6np43g

yes, sounds like serious second thoughts. couple counseling will bring things to a resolution quickly.

relationship_advice

6np43g

i just got back from the doctors, well psychiatrists. the nurse took my blood pressure and it was 140/89 i’m a 22 year old female, i weigh about 154 pounds and i am white. i have bipolar disorder and fake lamictal and seroquel. lamictal is 100 mg seroquel 25 my psychiatrist recommended. i have my blood drawn as seroquel can induce diabetes and high cholesterol. the last few times i’ve seen him, the nurse has always remarked high blood pressure my problem is i don’t like needles. so i have a couple of questions 1) how do they take two vials of blood? do they use one needle, and take the vials from one or do i need to be poked twice? 2) hypothetically what would happen if i stopped taking seroquel (i take it only to sleep so it isn’t necessary) and my results came back as having high cholesterol or pre-diabetic?

blood draw from seooquel?

bm89vs

there's only one stick for any number of vials of blood. you could have high cholesterol or pre-diabetes, or actual diabetes, or any number of other problems unrelated to seroquel. after all, people have those problems who have never taken that medication. so regardless of whether you take seroquel, if those problems are detected they would merit treatment.

askdocs

bm89vs

just fyi: some of these things i have only recently learned. due to a lot of family issues, we have not had a lot of communication over the last several years, but i have recently become my mother's financial conservator and legal guardian, and started making sure she gets to dr's appointments, and trying to get her medications stabilized. i am just mentioning this to get it out of the way, hoping that the topic can stay focused on the medical issues/questions at hand. my mother lost her job a couple years ago due to spells of forgetting where she was or what she was doing, getting lost while driving, etc. since that time, a couple of neurologists have diagnosed her with early onset dementia/memory loss (possibly lewy body). after getting her on memory medication (aricept), there has been a significant improvement in this regard. however, for quite a while now she has suffered from episodes of some pain. they appear to come on every few hours - primarily in afternoons and through the evening, a few hours apart. these episodes were apparently never very severe before (i wasn't even aware of them), but in the last few weeks they have intensified and become unbearable. she describes the pain as her body being on fire, and her primary doc has said that this is neuropathy. she has been taking gabapentin for a few months, which early on had helped with a lot of discomfort that she was feeling (mostly numbness, fingers not working correctly, etc). it is no longer helping with the pain, and these bouts are very intense... she feels them coming in her neck/upper back, and prepares to ride them out. she sits in a recliner for 1-2 hours, listens to music on her headphones, and just cries until they pass. twice now, she has essentially passed out from the pain, and is unable to fully wake until the episode has ended. i don't think any individual doctor we've seen is really taking the whole picture into account, and instead are focusing just on their respective specialty areas. here are a couple of factors that i feel play heavily into this: drinking - she has essentially been an alcoholic for around 20 years, drinking every day. valium - she has been taking valium (10mg i believe) for over 20 years (prescribed for seizures many years ago, and was never instructed to stop taking them). opiates - she was addicted to pain pills for 3-4 years (7-8 years ago), and eventually tapered and stopped taking them. sometime in the last 5 years she also began taking suboxone, for reasons that are unclear, and continued to take those until recently. when we took her to a psychiatrist a couple of weeks ago, the psych confided to us that her dementia is very likely a symptom of chronic alcohol and valium use over the years. the psych recommended she wean off valium. well, she had abruptly stopped taking them already prior to that, so at this point, she began taking half doses again, to taper down... but then she abruptly stopped again. her pc doc has of course asked her to stop drinking, but only during the last visit (after these pain spells) did she take that seriously. even so, she has still been drinking some nights (tequila/mixed drinks). medications she is currently on: aricept, gabapentin, synthroid, valium. here is my question, and my conundrum: with her complicated drug/substance history, i do not understand whether her pain/symptoms are related to alcohol withdrawal, late stage alcoholic neuropathy, valium withdrawal, or something else entirely. my brother lives in her apartment with her, but it has been difficult for him to manage her medications, or even monitor what she takes. (we are looking into some sort of pallative care option for this, but not much luck so far). i have considered taking her to the er during one of her episodes, but i am afraid that they will just give her fluids and pain medication, and ignore the bigger picture. what i would really like to find is someone who can effectively diagnose what she is going through, and help us understand what her options are (either for treating the cause, or for just managing the symptoms themselves). this has quickly become way more than i can manage. my wife and i both have demanding jobs, but if i tried to sustain the level of effort that i have been putting into this, i am sure i would lose my job in a matter of months. not to mention that my relationship and home life are suffering a bit for this as well. i am totally lost... after seeing internal/pc docs, neurologists, psychiatrists, etc, i do not feel that we are in a very good place, and still don't even understand what is happening to her. we do have an emg test scheduled in a couple of weeks, but i am skeptical that that will yield any true, actionable information. what can i do? :(

mother (65), dementia, suffering regular recurring bouts of neuropathic pain. history of alcohol and substance abuse. where to go from here?

5kr9br

the alcohol might have caused much of this - it wouldn't surprise me if i found that the seizures were due to alcohol withdrawals, and if so its a pity she was prescribed diazepam basically allowing her to continue her dependence with fewer consequences. the neuropathic pain may also be due to alcohol dependency - is she taking thiamine? the dementia too could be alcohol related. i'd make sure she is taking thiamine, but otherwise the damage has been done and it's all about meeting her daily needs rather than active treatment, which might include residential care. edit: the neurologists knew about her alcohol/drug history?

askdocs

5kr9br

i struggle with scrupulosity(i am not looking for any posts that will preach their religion to me thank you) and i often have thoughts about the blasphemy of the holy ghost(in the religion i grew up in this is considered the unforgivable sin) about a little over two years ago i began thinking a lot about this. my thoughts will tell me that if i walk in a certain direction or touch the table the wrong way that i will have committed these sins. because i do not want to commit this sin and these thoughts are always in my head i don't. some time after i don't my thoughts will then turn on me and say something blasphemous against the holy ghost. this happens everyday to me does anyone have any advice

these thoughts are so hard to ignore

4qcaf7

i would recommend finding a therapist. iocdf can connect you with a therapist in your area, or you can check for an online therapist who specializes in scrup. if therapy is a little out of your price range, i'd recommend "can christianity cure my obsessive compulsive disorder" by ian osborn, the mindfulness for ocd book by hiershfield/ corboy, or even the doubting disease (forgetting the author). while catering to the catholic crowd, scrupulous anonymous is a good resource. good luck!

ocd

4qcaf7

soon to be 18 years old and i've never been in a relationship before. i was pulled out of school twice last year for suicidal and homicidal thoughts (i admitted i had plans to shoot all the couples and married teachers at both of our major school dances) and struggled to meet people being at an all-male school and not being particularly outgoing. i eventually got over the fear of rejection and started going to lots of underage drinking parties and hitting on girls from other schools there. i got rejected and embarrassed by everyone i approached and starting spiraling back into isolation and violent anger. fast forward to now and i'm ready to give life another shot before i start planning to go postal again, but i want to be better prepared. i have a connection to a dealer who has a lot of high-power steroids and has given me a suggestion for a "stack" to try it. this would involve taking massive amounts of testosterone enhancers through pills as well as injections in both my arms. do i need to destroy myself to get accepted or will this fail just like everything else has?

i've tried everything to get someone to like me and failed. i'm ready to destroy my body

534fy2

what are you hoping to accomplish with the steroids? it sounds like a terrible idea and you seem to see it as essentially self destructive yourself. what you should do is to get into psychotherapy, like for anger management and depression. you should join a mindfulness meditation group. to use a star wars metaphor, this anger is the 'dark side' and there is another and better (ultimately more satisfying) way to work with the intense pain of social rejection that you are almost certainly trying to cope with here.

depression

534fy2

i started talking to this person in the summer. she has a lot of mental health issues and not many friends and i became someone that she can talk to whenever she needs. she can tell me anything and vent whenever she wants. i know she has some legitimate issues but some things she tells me don’t seem real and seem to be made up for attention. she claims to be schizophrenic and have psychotic episodes. but she told me that sometimes she has hallucinations where she loses complete touch with reality. she’ll be sitting in school and all of the sudden she’s in another state with a man chasing her trying to kill her. crazy, outlandish stories like that. and i’m just not sure if things like that exist. this might be the wrong sub but i’d appreciate it if anyone can let me know. thank you!

are full blown hallucinations where you lose complete touch with reality a real thing? i have a friend who claims they get these but i’m weary.

bbg19x

as someone who has worked with plenty of folks with psychotic disorders, this type of thing does exist, but is pretty rare. for most folks with severe schizophrenia, auditory hallucinations are the most common along with a set a strange delusions (ie. i'm actually an angel sent from god, the government is broadcasting signals to me, etc.). vivid visual hallucinations are extremely rare unless there is also some drug use involved. for the most part, schizophrenia doesn't really hit folks until late teens early adulthood. for men, generally late teens-early 20's. for women it's generally in early to mid-20's. what your friend is describing sounds like it could either be an overactive imagination or some type of flashback or dissociative episode that happens to folks who have experienced some trauma in their lives. i can't/won't give any type of diagnosis or anything like that based off of a reddit post, but these types of things are possible, though fairly rare.

askatherapist

bbg19x

okay. a few months ago, when i was checking my patient portal for my primary care physician's office, i saw some digital fliers in my profile for *weight gain*, *prediabetes*, *elevated cholesterol*, and *erectile dysfunction*. i do believe the fluoxetine can cause all of those side effects. my pcp said... > "everything should go back to they way it was before once you are off the ssri for a few months. as long as you are being mindful of your diet and exercise, you shouldn't worry about what you see in your portal at this time. for your piece of mind, i made a referral to an urologist who can do blood work on cholesterol, glucose, total testosterone after you are off the medication to see if this issue is improving. again, make the changes you can now and don't worry. take care. " when i was at the psychiatrist, a pa told me that long term use of the fluoxetine can lead to high cholesterol, type 2 diabetes, ed, and other conditions. i was only on the drug for about four years and five months.

recently discontinued fluoxetine with pa's permission due to metabolic issues. any suggestions?

f3erna

fluoxetine is largely weight-neutral; some people gain weight, but probably no more than anyone not taking fluoxetine, and possibly less. other than weight gain there has been no association between fluoxetine and cholesterol, lipids, or diabetes. (the bad news is that stopping the medication probably will have no effect on gaining weight or having metabolic problems because it probably wasn’t the cause.) erectile function could be worse on fluoxetine. it’s not a late effect; you would know. it resolves when you stop taking the medication. it’s also not a brain- or testosterone-mediated effect; it’s probably caused by more serotonin in the pelvic nerves. ssris, including fluoxetine, do not cause brain damage.

askdocs

f3erna

thanks in advance for taking the time to read my post. not sure if i should cross to other subs and thoughts are welcome. i am in the review process for a long term disability insurance claim for my ptsd. my psychiatrist said she takes “minimal” notes on purpose and she doesn’t keep copies of my prescriptions (i’ve been seeing her for almost two years). the insurance company asked for her records for some early, pre-diagnosis, sessions. i was seeing her for rx maintenance for mdd and per her instructions i drafted simple session notes, including the rx, and she had no comments or edits. she copy/pasted them to her letterhead and we gave them to my insurance company. my insurance company also needs her medical records for the last year to support my diagnosis. since i wasn’t sure what needs to be included i did weeks of research into ptsd insurance claims, reviewing articles on the dsm-v criteria and making sure my symptoms in my timeline matched. to clarify, the timeline is something i had prepared prior at the suggestion of my pcp. it took me over two months to draft 12 office notes and i still need to draft 6 more. i repeatedly told her how hard it was for me and that i needed her help. when we discussed them i didn’t understand some of her comments, most importantly what to say about the traumatic event. she didn’t give me more explanation and she’s not going to edit them herself. without these my claim will be denied, so i have to revise and complete them and to accept that it will be what it will be. there’s a bunch that i have not shared about how this process has impacted me emotionally, but suffice to say that it’s been awful, and has significantly added to the underlying awful. i didn’t realize this until last week when i spoke with a trauma recovery program. i asked about records for my insurance claim and they said that they do not share because it could cause harm to the patient. i looked it up and i now understand the issues. i see pretty clearly the harm caused by doing them myself. i’m really angry with my doctor and will find another once the claim has been processed (regardless if denied or approved). until then i don’t know what to do other than just deal with her. is there something here that i’m missing?

therapy notes - patient harm

h16bbs

ugh, i am so sorry , what a mess ! usually, brief notes are a huge benefit to most patients, and they avoid the possibility of accidentally embarrassing a patient or causing harm. your situation is extremely frustrating and unfair. unfortunately, most times when records are requested, brevity is in the benefit of the patient. records are often requested for sensitive jobs, licenses, life insurance, custody battles, and court matters. re your meds , your pharmacy should have a record. if you are in the us, your state likely has a drug registry that keeps track of all your prescriptions. WEBLINK good luck, i am sorry you are in this situation.

askatherapist

h16bbs

what are your thoughts on someone repeatedly listening in on an aa meeting, that is taking place in a treatment center, via speaker phone?

speaker phone in meeting

67kwue

it's hard to tell without more information. are you talking about a situation where a former client calls in to a meeting that is being held in a treatment center? and i assume that current clients are attending the meeting that the person is calling into? for a regular aa meeting you would definitely need to get a group conscience on it. since it's at a treatment center (i'm assuming in the us?) it gets even more complicated as they may be running afoul of patient confidentiality laws. the us law is especially stringent in terms of rules for substance abuse treatment and confidentiality. i would definitely bring this up with the counselors/admin as well as in the meeting's next business meeting.

alcoholicsanonymous

67kwue

i know i sound awful, but i can’t do it anymore. he’s 3 and has autism but still is on the level of a 12 month old. he’s nonverbal, doesn’t talk just cries & screams. you try to play with him & he bites you, hard. punches, kicks. it never ends. every morning i wake up i dread the whole day. i can’t wait to go back to sleep so i don’t have to care for him. my husband always says he’ll help but he either makes things worse or just doesn’t. he’s like another child as well & the weight on my shoulders kills me. i feel like i don’t even know who i am anymore. i used to laugh all the time...i barely laugh now. i spend my days crying & yelling and just wishing for it to end. the only thing that’s brought my joy has been my pet cat. but he had to go because my son wouldn’t stop hurting him. he strangled him. he breaks & hurts everything. i have no family here and my husbands parents favor their other grandchild so i get no help. no breaks. just us in our apartment all day. last year around this time i told myself things would get better. they get worse each day. i fantasize about how i’ll kill myself & finally be at peace. all my life i’ve dreamed of becoming a mom...i absolutely hate it. i never want any more children. i’m awful for saying this but i regret my decision each day.

i don’t want my special needs son anymore, he makes me want to kill myself.

9nywrd

tell me you’re getting support services. so many are available for kids with autism. it isn’t a cure but it can help take the pressure off and do wonders. the earlier you start the better.

offmychest

9nywrd

my doctor just prescribed me metformin, even though my blood levels are normal. she said it was to prevent insulin resistance in the future / catch it early. i'm a little apprehensive about starting a medication to treat a symptom i'm not yet experiencing. i mentioned this to her and she said it was up to me, but that they recommend i take it. i do have irregular periods, hirsutism, and weight management concerns. however, i've recently lost 20 pounds and i'm well on my way to a healthy weight, without the metformin. this just seems like a really intense medication if i'm not experiencing the blood sugar issues and if i'm already managing my weight. has anyone else taken metformin with normal blood sugar levels? is this a common thing? i'd appreciate anyone's insights and thoughts!

metformin even though my blood sugar levels are normal?

3t7dcf

yep. i am in the same boat. i also recently lost 20 lbs, and my blood sugar (fasting as well as two hour ogtt) was completely normal. this is a very common thing and studies have shown that metformin can help women with pcos ovulate even if they are normal weight and do not have prediabetes or diabetes. i will look for studies later.

pcos

3t7dcf

humans are social creatures and are supposed to want social interaction. i'm sitting here though not really wanting to go outside. i do get lonely but i know that if i try and socialize it'll just make me feel uncomfortable and i'd want to leave. the main thing i'd like to ask is why i'm nervous about intimate relationships. the last "intimate" act i've done was probably sucking on my mom's tits when i was a baby. at 20 years old i've only held a girls hand once and she was joking the whole time. never had sex, never had a kiss, never hugged or cuddled with someone significant. and even worse is that the thought of it makes me just sweat thinking about it. i mean i'm just so sure that i'll clam up and nope the fuck out of there because i don't know what to do in that situation. whenever i think of my future it makes me feel bad. it seems i'll either never have a significant other, or i'll try and freak out and get out as fast as possible. for example, i've been getting some hints from an old female friend that she'd may want to do something with me. but whenever i even think about cuddling or having sex or something it makes me real nervous. its not because i've known her for so long though, if i imagine a situation where a girl from class does that its the same thing. why do i feel like this? is there a way to overcome it?

it feels like i'm not even human

107khi

you should see a counselor. seeing a counselor will * help you deal with your social anxiety so that you can be positive interactions. it's very possible that you are noping out of social interactions that could be great, just because of your fear. a counselor will help you understand why you are anxious and give you strategies for dealing with it. * help you build your social skills so you feel more confident. social skills are like any other skill set--if you study and practice, you'll get better. it's certianly possible to practice social skills on your own (i wrote an [online guide](WEBLINK) that is a good place to start), but there's no substitute for having someone work directly with you. * help you understand yourself better, and enjoy life more. like you said, people need intimacy, and going without it has probably hurt you. a counselor will help you heal. * plus, it's someone to talk to :) so yeah. i would recommend that today, you pick up the phone and schedule an appointment with a counselor. things can get better, but you need to have someone help. if you have a broken arm, you wouldn't just sit there and wait for it to heal--you'd go to the doctor. same thing applies here.

socialskills

107khi

i've been having a really low libido since i started taking yasmin. i want to enjoy making love with my boyfriend, but my body doesn't seem to respond physically. i'm having a hard time getting turned on. i have trouble reaching orgasm. my boyfriend thinks it's his performance in bed that's causing the issue, but i have my suspicion yasmin has a role in it. last night he climaxed before i could, and he felt horrible since he always lets me go first or goes with me.

did yasmin affect your libido and/or ability to orgasm?

99sga9

def flattened my sex drive when i took it. not as badly as ortho tri cyclen or ortho lo, but palpably.

pcos

99sga9

the way that guy spoke to me was the most dignified talk i've had about my add in my life. between friends and family making fun of me, to my old pediatric md claiming i just wanted adderall, i felt like i was definitely mentally off, yet still a human being got prescribed adderall xr, gonna see how work goes tomorrow (am an rn, you can see how hard my day to day is), but i feel everything might just be, for once, ok

following this sub with years, finally got the motivation to see a psychiatrist.

4zvixw

congratulations! i know that feeling to finally have someone really listen to you and get i right. same thing happened to me this year and it has changed my life. i am excited for you!

adhd

4zvixw

i posted this on /r/depression but i didn't get many answers to my question. anyway, here it is: i've always known that there's something tangibly 'wrong' with me: i never had any close friends; i was always bullied at school; have never been intelligent or 'driven'; and used to have detailed fantasies about killing people and rampaging with light-machine guns and such stuff. lately though, as i've become a true adult, life has become impossible - i can't stress this enough. due to the stress of not being able to fit in at work or being able to have relationships with people i've started having voices in my head. now these voices aren't audible; they are more like intrusive thoughts that pop up very aggressively, usually when something bad happens or i've failed at something (i fail everything i ever do). these voices tell me weird shit like "god spits in your face", "you are a waste of everyone's time", "kill yourself, you stupid cunt", "hurry up and end yourself". i don't understand what's wrong with me. i feel or show very little emotion and people at work have always joked that i'm a good candidate for a serial killer (a guy at my last job used to call me 'bundy'). i enjoy self-harming to relieve stress. i'm an incredibly slow, lackadaisical person and have been likened to sloth or a zombie; i feel very narcoleptic and depressed very often but have times where also i'm annoying and hyperactive and get on people's nerves. people call me a mixture of things like "calm", "laid-back" but usually it's negative things like "retard", "idiot". i've never been diagnosed with anything, but i'm starting to worry that i might have to kill myself because i can't fit in or have a life worth living. i thought i had autism a few years ago but i can be very good socially, but i don't feel like a human being - more like an outsider or a visual replica of a human. does anyone recognise these symptoms, or am i alone? thanks :)

desperate for answers.

1shida

what you describe could possibly be symptomatic of a few different mental illnesses. depending on what else is going on in your life it could be anything from major depression with psychotic features to borderline personality disorder. your best bet is to seek out a mental health provider in your area to get an accurate diagnosis as well as help.

mentalhealth

1shida

weeks ago i started using “find my iphone” on my laptop because i lose my phone in my apartment several times per day. this morning, i woke up, checked my phone, made breakfast, and afterwards could not find it. so i do my usual and log in the website. it tells me to put in a code.. they’ve sent to my phone. are you serious?! i hate you.

dear apple, screw you

efgt9t

tiles ftw. out one on your keys, one in your wallet and the ap on your phone.

adhd

efgt9t

i've never used reddit before, but i don't know where else to turn (aside from professional therapy), so i apologize if this post is too long or in the wrong category. i've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we've known each other since 6th grade. we started dating a few months after my engagement to another man ended (he left me 8 months before our wedding for another woman-we are still friends, but they are no longer together) and a little over a year after his long term relationship with his high school girlfriend ended (she cheated on him multiple times... like, dozens upon dozens of times... and eventually became pregnant by another man). our relationship has never been filled with consistent sexual intercourse or other sexual activities, but we did have sex a few times a month in the beginning, but mainly when he was intoxicated. then, about a year into our relationship, things drastically slowed down when i told him i'd like to be with a partner who could fuck me sober. so he cut back drinking. we've always regarded each other as best friends, so bringing up the issue wasn't a problem at first. he assured me he was attracted to me - he actually said at times he felt like i was more attractive than him and that made it difficult for him to last long so he was embarrassed because he felt like he couldn't satisfy me so he drank to last longer. he also admitted that he knew he had issues because of his past relationship and her infidelity. i reassured him i was very attracted to him too and i tried to explain that i was more than satisfied with his sexual performance. i even made it a point to tell him i was 100% okay with not climaxing during intercourse (which was completely true) because we could just continue the activity in others ways until i did cum. i told him i understood how he could be concerned and sympathized with his feelings due to his ex, but i reminded him that i have never been unfaithful towards him or any other partner in my life. we agreed we would work on things together. we would possibly have sex that day or maybe a few days later. days would go by without sex again... then weeks. finally, months. i'd approach the subject again. we'd talk about all the same issues. then new things would come into the picture such as him wanting me to initiate more and me being hurt because i never got reassurance from him that he thought i was attractive (everyone likes to hear they look good every once in a while, lol). we agreed we would work on things together. have sex or perform some other sexual activity sometime shortly after our conversation. days. weeks. months. no sex. i'd approach the subject again. everything is addressed again. we talk about trying new things. porn. chatterbate. the snapchat thing with nudes (i can't recall the name). sex toys. slight role playing. dirty talk. i'd spontaneously send provocative photos and always got good reactions from them. still no sex. finally, i begin to feel crazy. i continue to bring the subject up, but at this point i'm in tears. then he'd have sex with me. i told him i didnt appreciate that. i didn't appreciate feeling like sex with me was something he had to do out of sympathy. no more sex. 3 years later, i'm begin reaching a breaking point and begin to feel extremely low about myself. i'm having a hard time focusing on classes and my job. my weight is beginning to fluctuate and my sleep patterns are becoming inconsistent. he acknowledges he needs help to understand why he's having a hard time and starts therapy. shortly afterwards he begins therapy he breaks up with me. he explains that he needs to work on himself and he didn't think he could do that with me in the picture. i told him i was hurt, but i would be supportive and try to understand his decision because no matter what he's still my best friend. a month or so after breaking up i decide to talk with someone else. i agree to go on a date with this guy. and then another. no sex, but a very passionate kiss. my boyfriend (at the time "ex boyfriend") hears about this and shows up at my work explaining how he made a mistake and he was stupid to think he couldn't work on himself with me because i am a huge part of his life. i agree and we get back together. nothing changes. no sex. he stops therapy. a solid year of no sex. i breakdown. i mean, straight up ugly cry on the floor breakdown. i beg for couples therapy. i explain we need this, that i love him and i want nothing more than for us to work. he agrees and i ask him to find a therapist he is comfortable with. doesn't happen. i have a moment of "fuck this" and tell him i'm done. i explain that i love him so much, but hurt and need time away from him. we're friendly about the whole situation. i move out. leave my job. buy a business. go back to school. start running again (placed 3rd in my first race, yay!). talk to that guy again. he's great in many ways... and has sex with me! my boyfriend (at the time "ex") has somehow got the password to my facebook and has been reading my messages. i don't know this at the time. he asks to meet me one day and of course i agree. he tells me he wants me back and he promises it will all be different and we'll go to therapy. i told him i wasn't sure if that was what i wanted because it's been a never ending circle of nothing changing. he then tells me if i decide to not be with him he is going to go to japan. i didn't want to lose him completely, so i agree. as we're eating lunch that day he confesses to reading my conversations and knowing about the other guy. i remember sitting there and feeling so sad to be back in my relationship. i felt tricked and manipulated. it's been a year since that day. we've broken up and gotten back together multiple times since then (more than i can count). i stopped asking him to work on our sex life. i spoke to a therapy shortly and she told me i was moderately depressed and suffered severe anxiety. my business is beginning to suffer because i can't manage my stress and i'm not sleeping (i don't want to go on a rx). i have days where i eat in excess or not at all. i cry and want to break things almost daily. i hardly speak with my family or friends anymore. i've begun drinking in excess when at social events and when i drink i have emotional breakdowns about my sexless relationship. this last october i was escorted out of my best friends wedding because i made a giant scene in front of 400 guests at dinner screaming at my boyfriend how he won't fuck me. since that breakdown we've had sex 3 times, all after getting drunk. before that breakdown, we hadn't had sex. that's 3 times in a year. i may be missing another time, but i don't think i am. i love my boyfriend and he's my best friend. we don't fight unless we're drinking and it's only about sex. he's always willing to help me with my business. we have an adorable house together. we've adopted 3 rescues dogs, a blind duck, and a chicken. we don't struggle financially and overall we enjoy each other's company. we get along with each other's families. i still find my boyfriend to be an attractive person, but i'm not sexually attracted to him anymore and don't want to go to therapy now. basically, anything that's a part of a relationship that isn't sexual is great between us. so shouldn't that be enough? i mean, i can't picture my future with anyone besides him, so wouldn't it be possible to let go of all the stress i put on myself about sex and just be happy? i'm not really sure what answer i'm looking for here, maybe i just needed to vent? however, any input is grateful. has anyone experienced something like this? has anyone had a successful sexless relationship?

i [28/f] have been in a "sexless" relationship w/ my s/o [28/m]. when do you know it's time to leave or can you make it work?

5tgjet

always get counseling before ending a relationship

relationship_advice

5tgjet

i'm curious because tomorrow might be a good time to go to my first one since i'm spending the holiday alone.

does aa have meetings on holidays?

3uapqj

if you are someplace populated, there will probably be a dinner or football watching party too. i'd call to see which group is doing it up. great excuse to make your first.

stopdrinking

3uapqj

there's a medical solution/substance i want to buy online, but the fda requires a rx for some reason. there is one website that sells it without a prescription, but i don't know if i trust the quality of his product. it's a generic brand and just looks cheap.. i found a major medical company that sells it on their website. however the form they sent me to fill out requires my doctor's name, license number and signature. do you think he would sign it? i mean, i'm not sure if this creates liability for him or something. i'd rather not say what it is since there's only a couple places that sell it. thanks * age 45 * sex male * height 6'1" * weight 180 lbs * race white * duration of complaint 1 week * location (geographic and on body) n/a * any existing relevant medical issues (if any) no * current medications (if any) none * include a photo if relevant (skin condition for example) n/a

doctor's signature required to buy

biunlj

you are asking for a prescription. yes, that creates liability. more importantly, it becomes a medical decision; he may agree, in which case he would prescribe, and he may not. what then? there's not really much good advice that can be given if you won't say what the problem is or what the potential treatment would be.

askdocs

biunlj

i stole this idea from /r/fitness. they do a "moronic monday" thread, where everyone is allowed to ask dumb questions. this is the same sort of idea - if you have a question that you've always wanted to ask, but never felt comfortable starting a whole thread about it, ask it here. if you just want to reach out, say "hello," or let people know that you've been lurking, go for it. if you want to make a general statement or observation, say thanks, or get something off your chest, have at it. if you're thinking about quitting but haven't mustered up the courage or resolve, tell us about it. anyone can ask, anyone can answer. throwaways are fine. [peace!](WEBLINK)

modest monday - newbies & everyone else, post your questions & hellos here.

ukj1q

good idea! i'll chime in. i just found this subreddit a few days ago and think it's great that there's a fairly active, supportive community like this on reddit. i've noticed a few newly sober posters talking about feeling conflicted about wanting to call people for support but not wanting to be a bother, and i just wanted to say call them! people give you their numbers for a reason, and odds are you'll be helping them as much as they help you, even if you don't realize it. i've never met someone who felt bothered or annoyed by someone else calling for support. anyway, that's my two cents for now. keep coming back everybody. edit: accidentally a word

stopdrinking

ukj1q

there’s two therapists i like and i was wondering if i could use blue cross insurance to have both of them because they both only do it once a week and i think if i could have two with two different approaches it would be good for me so i’d that’s possible or no ?

is it possible to get two counsellors while it being at the same place ? canada

f4cmf5

edit to addition know nothing about the canadian healthcare system. seeing two therapists at the same time is more uncommon, and probably fine (make sure both know ). however , insurance does not have to cover it. you may have coverage for a specific amount of sessions per year or within a period of time . for example, i have 1 pt who can only be seen once in a week long period. so, if i see him tuesday this week, i can't see him monday next week.

askatherapist

f4cmf5

is it better to do a wait-and-see approach to a diagnosis of aspergers? . my son (5yo) has difficulties regulating his emotions and has a speech problem, articulation disorder. he also fidgets a lot. he has been attending private speech therapy for 2yrs and sadly has been kicked out of 3 preschools, after which i homeschooled him, did therapy and him in a 4hrs/week drop in program. now due to the preschool difficulties we sought a private psychological evaluation. cognitively he is fine, iq is good. the doc did see signs of anxiety, adhd and aspergers. however we stopped midway due to our daughter being born, some medical difficulties and being smack dab in the middle of evaluations which took an emotional toll. so we stopped in april. should i continue the eval process? should i skip that for now and do an educational eval? i'm just terrified of the unknown.

question for adults with aspergers

26dh1e

i got my diagnosis on my own at the age of 29. if i could have done things any differently, i would have been diagnosed at a young age. i would have wanted my parents to be totally candid and not overprotective or overbearing. i would have also wanted absolute veto power over any sort of 'treatment' or aspie related activities. as an aspie kid, i hated being pressured into absolutely anything. i knew what i wanted and didn't want to do. since i am well adjusted without having any treatment whatsoever as a child, i don't think i'd be worse off if my parents offered opportunities and i vetoed most of them. an aspie can turn out great with no intervention, but i would have loved to have the knowledge necessary for informed self-determination as a child.

aspergers

26dh1e

reddit, i think that my social skills are excellent. whenever i am talking with someone, i can keep the conversation going and i am a bit of a talker. however, i have trouble being the one to start the conversation. if it's a group project or work, there's an obvious reason to have a conversation and i can do it perfectly fine. but, if there is no logical necessity for conversation, i have trouble starting it. i think this stems from over thinking everything. if i'm in the same place as someone else by chance, i feel like they have something they are doing. they wouldn't randomly just be there by themselves. because of this, i have trouble interrupting and starting conversation. even if i did start a conversation, i have no idea what i would say to start it because there is no reason for speaking other than just to meet new people. i love meeting new people, but i think it's weird to start a conversation with the cliche "how about that weather?" or "do you come here often?" or would "hi. i'm i_dont_translate. what's your name?" work? i honestly have no idea how to start conversation. this especially sucks with the lady folk. i'm a generally nice guy, not ugly, and have potential with women, but i don't know how to start talking to one. isn't it obvious that i'm only talking to them because i'm hoping to get their number and get something out of it? **tl;dr** how do i start a conversation with random strangers, particularly the lady-folk? any advice would be appreciated. thank you!

i like to think that i have excellent social skills once i get a conversation going. however, i don't know how to start conversation. how do you start a conversation with a random stranger?

vvcx7

reference the context. if you're standing in line to go into a concert, asking someone if they like italian food is weird. asking someone if they've seen the band before, or (even better) saying "i'm super excited--it's my first time seeing this band. have you seen them before?" is much more natural. if you want to chat with a barista at a coffee shop, ask them how long they've been working there, or if the shop is always this busy. basically, just figure out something from the context to strike up a conversation about. it's often more natural if you briefly share something of your own before asking them a question, but the most important thing is to base the conversation about what's going on around you.

socialskills

vvcx7

i am currently living at home with an emotionally abusive mother because i feel like i don't have any other choice right now. i am a student and have no means of income so i can't move out. if i were to quit going to school that would enable me to move out, but that also would me giving up a college degree. i'm just at a loss of what to do. i don't know if i want advice or anything, this is just something that needs to finally be said.

i'm starting to feel like i'm sacrificing my mental health for a ba.

2ru328

op i don't know what school you are going for but a lot of schools have free counseling services. i would suggest "going to school to work on school work more" but go see/look into a counselor there. they would be able to help you with all of these issues in your life, saving your mental health and allowing you to finish school.

mentalhealth

2ru328

(this is super long) you know, i've never fully revealed on here why i have ptsd. i've just given the gist. but let me tell you my story, and why don't you tell me if i can "just get over it" and "my ptsd is not real ptsd" my story starts with my high school sweetheart. together since 16 and we married as soon as i turned 18. but when we got married, things started to change. little things. he would become jealous when he wasn't previously a jealous person. he started to be controlling. then he started to get angry. then one day, i don't remember the reason, but it was when the physical violence started. he choked me until i passed out. i thought maybe this was a one time thing. but no. stupid scared and naive 18yo me wanted to make a marriage work. his jealously became worse and he stared to hit me when we argued, over the most trivial things i might add (like who ate the last doughnut), he would hit me for that too. he'd grab my arm so hard there'd be bruises where his fingers were pressing. he constantly tried to convince me that we should kill ourselves together. then, 3 months into our marriage, i had the worst experience of my life. he had gotten mad at me for spending too long over at a friends house and accused me of seeing another guy there. so he put me in "the hole". in our house, there was a loose board in the stairs that you could pry open, revealing the ground underneath the stairs. he put me in the hole and the other stair boards were nailed in, i was too short to reach the lose one. he left me in there for 3 days with no light. he would only open the board to throw water and granola bars at me, and occasionally try to urinate on me. i sat in that hole in the corner for 3 days and nights. i screamed but no one could hear. finally, he pulls up the board and pulls me out. he tells me to get cleaned up and hurry, i have 10 minutes. it turns out, my parents had just called him and said they were coming to stay the weekend with us. i was too scared to tell them and i am ashamed of that. the night they left, i asked him if he would get off of the computer so i could use the phone to call my (gay) best friend (we had dialup). he then became angry. he flipped the computer table and it fell to the ground. he accused me of cheating on him with my gay friend, that he wasnt really gay and that we had been having an affair and playing him for a fool all along. i had never seen him this angry, so i ran to the bathroom and locked myself in. thankfully my cell phone was in there and i called my gay friend (who lived a block away) and i told him that it was bad and was scared and to get a friend (brad) to come over and help me. well husband broke down the bathroom door (he was 6'5 250lbs) and pulled me out to the living room. he told me to sit on the couch while he went to get something. i ran to my room but he caught me before i got there. he dragged me on the floor by my hair back to the living room. he had gotten a shotgun and he pointed it at me and he told me that he was going to kill me and then kill himself. at this moment, (i found out later that my gay friend and brad had peeked through the window and saw husband with the gun) brad opens the door really fast. husband happened to be standing close enough to it that it hit him in the back and it knocked him over. brad took me by the hand and we left. i have never seen my husband again. so there is my story of why i have ptsd. i want you to tell me now if my ptsd isn't "real" ptsd because i wasn't in combat. to the guy who posted, you are a fool. combat veterans arent the only people in the world that have ptsd. and for you to make a post suggesting that anyone with "childhood trauma" doesn't really have ptsd and should just deal with their problems like adults, you make me sick.

to the guy on here that posted that anyone with non combat related ptsd are pansies and should stfu, you are wrong and here is why

41k64a

psychologist here. if anything, ptsd occurs more often for non combat reasons than for combat reasons (based on my experience anyway). anyone who tells you that only combat produces ptsd is ignorant.

ptsd

41k64a

if they're looking for a relationship or just friends/etc?

is it wrong to ask a girl what are they looking for?

6be87k

you should always ask. that's a big problem of reddit folks; not clarify and defining enough.

relationship_advice

6be87k

how are things going for you? do you need some advice to help you get out of a rut? or are you cruising along and have some tips to share?

[discussion] need motivational advice?

6i3040

i'm feeling really nervous so i'm hoping that by typing it out here it'll help get my thoughts in order. i've been using my planner/journal a lot too but i could use some advice, if yall have any. i've been looking at a school counseling career for a while now. the problem is, in my state i'm required to have a few years of teaching experience. i think teaching is one of the most important jobs in the world, and i want to be involved in the education field, but i just finished my first year of teaching and... i dunno. i think i could handle a few more years but it's stressful as hell. and yes, i know it gets better after the first year is over but i'm still kind of dreading it. but at the same time i know i could do it if i set my mind to it. recently though i've gotten some advice from my admins. they pointed out that if i wanted to go into counseling, i could get my lpc and go into mental health counseling instead, or use that degree to go into some other field like career counseling, academic advising, etc. and here's the kicker: *they even offered a job as an assistant here at the school* that i could work at while i go to grad school. it would be a busy job, but still way less stress than teaching. downside is, i wouldn't be getting that teaching experience so the school counseling route would be closed to me. i had been planning on leaving to find a teaching job at a public school for my school counseling degree. but if i take that assistant job, i could stay at my current school. i really like that idea, because everyone here has been so supportive and kind to me, and that's something that just isnt guaranteed elsewhere, you know? it's like a family here. plus, the more i research school counseling as a career, the less optimistic i feel about job prospects and what i'll actually be doing day-to-day. it's more about testing and paperwork these days, rather than actually talking to kids. becoming an lpc has more flexibility, it's really just a question of finding a position that suits me. there's still a possibility of being involved with education. however, salary and benefits tends to be better if i go the teaching>school counselor route, assuming i can find a job. ...so i think i might end up changing my plans two days before i "leave". that's assuming my admins' job offer still stands. or i could stick with my original plan. i'm also still waiting on a call back for a teaching job, so that makes things more complicated.

getmotivated

6i3040

my doctor prescribed me hydroxyzine, i stopped taking them because i was starting to feel better, i was wondering if i can get back on them no problem? do they expire or something? should i just get a new dose?

15m can i start taking my anxiety meds after not taking them for about a month?

jbvaea

i disagree that hydroxyzine is an “older, sleepier version of benadryl” but agree that it can be restarted. it’s usually for use as needed rather then every day anyway.

askdocs

jbvaea

my friend has severe depression and is always coming to me for emotional support. she is no longer taking anti-depressants and refuses to seek help through therapy. i am her only friend and the only person she speaks to other than her mum. i am not sure how to handle the situation because if i don't speak to her for an entire day she gets really scared and worried to have made me angry. the problem is that her relying on me so much for emotional support has started to take its toll on my own mental health and i am feeling more drained and tired all the time. i don't know what to do to help her but i also feel like i should help myself. is it selfish to not want to help her all the time? anyone gone through a similar situation?

help! how can i help a friend with depression?

7ub0t1

you can be supportive while caring for yourself. encourage your friend to ask for what would be helpful from you, if reasonable. that being said you are not a therapist and have your own life to manage. encourage this person to get professional help!

needadvice

7ub0t1

i (23m) have recently got back into the dating game. had a few years of dealing with some personal and mental health issues but i'm in a place now where i'm looking to get back into it and start seeing some people. i had a period of one night stands and short term sex fueled flings and it was never for me, i just realized i enjoyed the more relationshippy part of being in a relationship more. i guess that's where my biggest problem is though, i think i'm too eager to get into a relationship. i just fall head over heels to quickly and get a little too attached i guess? it's a thing i fully realize is a problem, but one i'm not sure what to do about. so, just wondering if anyone out there has had a similar issue, and what they've done to work past that and just enjoy things for what they are instead of what you want them to turn into. reason i'm writing this is because i got ghosted by a girl who i was really into and thought those feelings were shared back, but i guess not. just sort of fueled some self reflection

any advice on just relaxing a bit?

5w1ww3

well, you have great awareness of your issue [over-eager]. the next step is what i call "mental vigilance". you have to be disciplined to go slowly. keep things in first gear longer than usual.

relationship_advice

5w1ww3

i have severe and permanent memory loss that i have got over past year and 1/2, i have a disease that is worsening,this is all i can think of why its been so difficult to diagnose me 1.i appear to be only mentally ill not brain diseased 2.i have a high iq score, before and still do in some areas 3.people are under the illussion of being right and cant question there own beleifs please help this disease is very serious and is worsening, i value my memories and know my life will be hard with a mental handicap

people mistaking brain disease for mental illness, need help, its worsening

56nakr

you need to take a break from reddit, mate.

advice

56nakr

hello, for the female doctors in this subreddit, how have you handled when people try to minimize your position/authority with these passive aggressive actions? also, standing up for yourself without coming off as bitchy.

female doctor keeps being called by first name/nurse. how to handle it?

8rklm4

why is it such a big deal? just correct them. "i'm actually a doctor". also, why is first-name basis disrespectful and how is any of this "passive aggressive"?

askdocs

8rklm4

i started seeing my sisters boyfriends friend, he is lovely to me but it's kind of long distance ( 30 min plane ride ) apart. my sister says he is a total player and cheated on his ex . i know this is true that he cheated and i spoke to him about it and he told me that it's true as well and he doesn't feel great about it but he wasn't happy in the relationship for a while. i had got over that and now my sister tells me that on nye he went back to his friends house and kissed his friends sister . i'm so disappointed in him and upset. we had just spent a really nice two weeks together and then two days later he does that. however it was the start of us dating and i had told him to do what he wants and we weren't exclusive. my sister reckons he is a total dick with no respect and i'm making a huge mistake . i am considering breaking it off with him. but ... shouldn't i give him a chance? he hasn't really done anything wrong but unfortunately i've had all his dirty laundry airred out in front of me so i have a few options 1run now and cut my loses. 2 date him and give him a chance. 3 date him but dump him cos i'm gonna be paranoid about him cheating on me. is a cheat always a cheat ? and should i be annoyed about him kissing another girl if we weren't together ? i'm not sure i wouldn't have done the same if i'd met someone cute that night? ....

am i a fool for going into this ?

5s7xi2

i would ask him if he indeed has a history of cheating on girlfriends, and go from there

relationship_advice

5s7xi2

i'm going to try to make this brief, but i think it's going to be a long post. this relationship is so fucked up at this point, i have no idea what to do anymore. basically i met someone online when i was younger, still a minor and he's 7 years older than me. it should have been a warning to me, but i guess i was and am young and stupid. i've always been lonely and depressed, a sort of black sheep, so having someone who liked me was exciting even though he lived far away and was so much older. i should have noticed red flags, but like i said, i'm young and stupid. things got serious way too quickly, already talking about being in love probably a month in. neither of us told anyone in our lives about one another because of the distance and age difference. the relationship continued awhile with things going well, but i was definitely looking for something less serious than he was. probably within 6 months i was ready for things to be over. we had some problems, he was overly controlling, got jealous easily, and was angry with me if i didn't text him often enough. we both suffer from depression so we developed an unhealthy codependency. finally i wanted things to end, and i tried to break up with him for the first time. he threatened to kill himself, got so angry with me and insulted me. i was scared into staying in the relationship. now we've been on and off again for a couple years. it's so fucked up, but i've wanted to break up with him so often. i've stayed out of fear. there were some points where we tried to stay friends, but things always came back to dating. i'm so tired of this relationship but he says he'll kill himself if i leave him. he says he loves me and there's no point to life without me. multiple times i've convinced him to see a therapist, and multiple times he's gone to a few sessions and given up. he always says he'll change but never has. i'm so tired of this relationship. i know i've been completely manipulated and emotionally abused. i constantly feel depressed, only happy when i'm away from him. i feel like i'm missing out on my life in this relationship. i tried to break up with him again and ended up agreeing to keep dating him so he wouldn't kill himself. i need help. i don't know where to go or what to do. since we've kept everything secret, i have no one to turn to. i tried to find contact info for his family and friends nearby him but i couldn't find anything. i don't have anyone to contact to help him, and i can't stay in this relationship forever if i want a happy life. i constantly hate myself for getting into this mess and for being to stupid to fix it. i feel tired and abused. how do i fix this?

relationship has gone way too far

5mazzo

you should see a therapist to help you resolve this complex situation

relationship_advice

5mazzo

i've been to the brink of suicide and back, i've had everything i've ever wanted in life torn away from me and turned against me, and i've had loved ones die. nothing makes me cry. i haven't cried in years. i honestly can't remember the last time i cried. is this normal?

i don't cry anymore

17h081

it could be that with everything that has happened to you, it feels unsafe to start crying because you might not be able to stop, and the idea of that feels like losing the control you've held onto to get yourself through all that horribly hard stuff you've had to get yourself through. i'm here to say that it's safe to cry. the well of tears is never bottomless. i find it really helps to cry -- it lets out a lot of -- not sure what to call it -- bottled up feelings maybe? when i cry i get more in touch with what's bothering me and when i'm done i feel emptied out and peaceful. the fact that you're asking about it makes me think that on some level you think you might need to do it. if so, go for it. i usually do that by making myself think about things that make me sad until something gets me started. once you get started, you'll go until you're done. it's kind of like sneezing or masturbating. it gets stuff out of you that needs to come out. it's good to do it periodically, i think.

depression

17h081

hi everyone, i'm hoping somebody can shed some light on this unusual and worrying situation that happened to my niece today. we have no idea what caused this and we're currently scared to death that something is seriously wrong with her. so as per the rules here are her stats: age: 17 sex: female height: about 5,11 weight: unsure but she is a healthy weight within normal bmi range race: white british duration of complaint: 10-15 minutes location (geographic and on body): uk, england. eyes any existing relevant medical issues (if any): low iron levels current medications (if any): iron supplements, contraceptive pill other than having low iron levels for which she takes supplements for, my niece is healthy and has no other underlying medical conditions. the only other medication she is on is a contraceptive pill. she has been on this for approximately 5 months. for the record, she does occasionally suffer bouts of anxiety. this is normally related to her college work and exams. she is otherwise a very calm happy girl. on the day in question, there was nothing that would have caused her to feel anxious in any way until this situation happened. she was not working on any of her college work, no family issues or arguments. she was feeling perfectly well and was making herself a sandwich at the time. from what she's told us, her vision became blurry and then very quickly went black. she was completely blind in both eyes, not even able to detect light. of course, at this time she was panicking and very upset which is understandable. the only other symptom she had at this time was slight dizziness. of course, this could have been from the anxiety or simply from the fact she couldn't see. this continued for about 10-15 minutes at which point her vision returned in reverse of how it started. she regained her vision, albeit blurry. she regained full vision shortly after with seemingly no lasting effects. she was rushed to the hospital, although at this time the symptoms had already gone. with the seriousness of this situation, i would have imagined they would do some kind of ct scan but they did not. possibly due to the current covid situation. they checked her blood pressure, o2 levels and did an ecg. all came back as normal. the only other "test" they did was to have her move her eyes around while the doctor inspected them. she was shortly discharged and told there would be no further tests unless this happened again. the only other symptom she currently has is her lymph nodes are somewhat swollen, although they are going down. i think i'm right in believing that could indicate some kind of infection, but we don't know what kind it could be because there are no other symptoms. this happened somewhere between 12-1pm today but i only found out later in the day. i spoke with her at about 10pm. of course, she feeling very worried but physically feels fine. her vision is normal. the only other health complaint was a mild headache which she took paracetamol for. no idea if that's related but i want to provide all the information i can. she's very open with her parents and especially me. i've asked her if she did anything that might have caused this. perhaps taken a drug or some kind of medicine but she has not. if she had, i'm 100% sure she would have told us considering how scary this situation was for her. and i'm not even aware of any drug that could make somebody go blind like that. the doctors were not much help. right now all we have to rely on is google. and i know, never a good idea to use dr google. but all the information i can find regarding temporary blindness relates to one eye, not both. please please could you share any information regarding what could possibly cause this to happen. right now we're completely in the dark and i'm scared to death something might be seriously wrong with her. thank you very much in advance

[17f] sudden temporary and complete blindness in both eyes

gpdwvf

perhaps counterintuitively, sudden vision loss in one eye is usually much more concerning than sudden loss in both eyes. both are different from slow, gradual loss. the list of things that can cause sudden, complete blindness in both eyes, then go quickly resolve on its own is... small. i'm not an ophthalmologist, but nothing comes to mind for me. ocular/retinal migraines affecting both eyes are rare, but fit the picture. conversion disorder is a possibility, but having it occur for such a brief time would also be unusual. even drugs that can cause blindness would usually need to be applied directly to the eyes and not either act or subside so quickly and completely, and of course your niece would have noticed someone putting drops in her eyes. because it's not my specialty, i would leave it to the ophthalmologists, but i do think that, again, sudden blindness in both eyes is counterintuitively probably better news than any other pattern of blindness.

askdocs

gpdwvf