Talk:Paul Shuey

message: 1) Am I wrong, or is the POB not supposed to be in the lead? 2) He struggled with Canton-Akron quantify this as I have WP:NPOV concerns with present wording. (The second instance of this word is coupled with stats, which begs the question whether "struggled" is in fact needed at all). 3) The article goes back and forth between minor league referencing, such as "Class-AAA" and "Triple-A."  Have it be consistent (either Double-A and Triple-A or Class AA and Class AAA). 4) "9" runs > "nine". 5) "Spends his time as a father" is immediately stated after listing his several children; it can be assumed he spends time as a father and even if he doesn't, it's likely not notable enough for inclusion. Simply state his hobbies. 6) Baseball America is linkable twice in the same section; make second appearance unlinked. 7) Refs 33 and 35 contain mismatching info.: if the publisher is going to be utilized in the first instance, it shall be used in the second. Also, "ESPN" is ambiguous; is it meant "Espn.com", as in 33? Additionally, 33 and 35 (and others) do not state the agency which actually wrote the article, which I would argue is more important than the site on which the article was found (it is listed in ref 22). 36 does not appear as #17. Some newspapers are linkable in the reference section, whilst others aren't (such as The Vindicator and The Washington Post and USA Today). #12 refers to a journal and thus should appear italicized; if from the site, would likely need to contain ".com". 8) His info box picture is when he was with BAL, a team he spent roughly 5% of his total games with, which is OK, but the second pic of him should be placed closer to the "Later career" section. Zepppep (talk) 09:20, 17 October 2012 (UTC)
replies: text: (1) You're right that POB shouldn't be in the lead, and so I removed it. (2) "Struggled" is okay to say, as long as it's quantified. I'm not seeing it specified in other sources, and the rest of that article is behind a pay wall, so I removed the sentence in question. (3) Also a good catch, I stuck with Class AAA (4) Fixed (5) Lots of fathers don't spend time with their children. Deadbeats and such. The source says he spends a lot of time with his children, which is a potential benefit of being retired at as young an age as a baseball player retires. His biggest hobbies are fishing and fatherhood. (6) Good catch, fixed. – Muboshgu (talk) 18:04, 17 October 2012 (UTC)

text: (7) Fixed, I had just added Ref 35 the other day and missed the publisher. Just linked those newspapers and a whole bunch more. (8) Orioles pictures are the only ones we have in the PD. Part of that is due to more free pictures in the aughts than the nineties, and also Keith Allison, who makes his excellent images available, does lots of his work at Camden Yards. I tried to position the second picture mid-way through the professional career section, so that it's not too late in the article. I don't know that I agree with pushing it down too much further. – Muboshgu (talk) 18:13, 17 October 2012 (UTC)
replies: text: Good work! We can agree to disagree about the whole fatherhood thing. It makes the article sound a bit "homey" or particularly reverent towards the subject (how is "a lot of time" defined anyways; 20 hr/wk? 40?) and again, I would classify it as "trivial." But it's not a big deal at all. The 2nd pic placement is cool; I just wanted to make you aware of it. I'm not going to gripe too hard about the placement of a pic. :) Overall, with the speedy fixes, I would say this article is now OK'd for GA but I'm not the official reviewer (maybe half credit?). Zepppep (talk) 18:09, 18 October 2012 (UTC)
replies: text: Pass with the re-review from Zepppep. Albacore (talk) 18:26, 20 October 2012 (UTC)
thread_title:  Additional GA review comments