Talk:Western Chalukya literature in Kannada

message: :कल्याणी चालुक्य राजा सोमेश्वर यांच्या 'मानसोल्लास' (११२९) या ग्रंथातील मराठी गीते म्हणजे मराठी वाड़्मयाच्या आरंभकालीन पाऊलखूणाच म्हटल्य पाहिजेत.
Marathi songs in Kalyani chalukya king Someshwar's Manasollas (1129) should be termed as stepping stone of Marathi literature.
59.95.28.231 10:39, 29 December 2006 (UTC)
replies: text: Thanks, I will make the necessary changes. The minimlal historical info was given because in previous PR's, reviewers wanted some context. Same with the map. I have a map that only shows Chalukya territory, but a reviewer wanted the neighbouring kingdoms as well, because Kannada literature flourished over the entire Western Deccan.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 17:42, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
thread_title:  Marathi songs 

message: I believe problems still remain with the article's flow and word choice. As time permits, I'll post what I think is problematic for your review, if I can't come up with an timely reword/fix myself.
*Re:"But his efforts were in vain, as other prominent Chalukya vassals, the Hoysalas, the Kakatiyas and the Seunas destroyed the remnants of the Chalukya power, forcing them to fade into history." Fading into history sounds a bit poetic, and it's unclear how people could be forced to do it. There isn't the control over the span of history to force a group to fade or not fade into it. -- Michael Devore (talk) 18:28, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
thread_title:  Article issues 

message: *Dinesh, I'm going to make some changes that might simply be my personal preferences, or based on the fact that I've heard one word more often than another, so don't think that a change means you used the wrong word.  For instance, I'm changing "today's" to "now" for no particular reason I can think of, other than I'm used to seeing "now" in the relevant professional writing.  Feel free to change anything back if you like it the way you had it. - Dan Dank55 (send/receive) 14:54, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: Madara Chanaiah is mentioned in the "early poets" section--Names of three poets from the early period and some of their poems are available. Madara Chennaiah, a cobbler turned saint is considered....Dineshkannambadi (talk) 17:20, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: Okay, which of the two spellings do you prefer?  And it seems unlikely he wrote over a 90-year span; can the span be narrowed? - Dan Dank55 (send/receive) 19:44, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: actually, thats his life span. Lets go with Chennaiah.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 20:38, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: Okay, but all the other dates in the infobox are dates of publication, right?  Do you have exact or approximate dates of publication for him? - Dan Dank55 (send/receive) 20:39, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

text: Please take a look at the comments by Moni3 in the PR. It will help us as we go forward.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 21:10, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: Yep, read her comments.  I responded there, and I also want to say that the way she's describing her ideal article is ... well, an ideal.  Not every article has to hit the reader over the head with how special the topic is.  But I agree ... if you've got a quote somewhere that we could put at the end of the lead, that gives the uninformed reader an idea of the role of literature in Indian history and in particular the role of Kannada literature in the Western Chalukya Empire, that's a plus. - Dan Dank55 (send/receive) 22:34, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
thread_title:  Copyediting 1 

message: *Two items for now. Re:"His deftly written poems, all of which end with the word "Kudalasangama" (lit, "God of the confluence of two rivers", the poets version of the god Shiva), 1300 of which have survived, have been described by Shiva Prakash H.S., a scholar on medieval Kannada literature, as lyrical, satirical, deeply contemplative and self-critical."
:This is a complex and busy sentence, with multiple parenthetical phrases, including a long literally parenthetical remark. By the time I read to the quote at the end, I have almost forgotten the subject from all the digressive remarks. Can you trim or rework it to more than one sentence?
::. split into multiple sentences.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 23:14, 22 October 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: The last sentence appears to be tacked on. It does not appear related to or flow from the previous sentence. The preceding "Above all..." sentence reads as either a concluding summation of Basavanna's poetry or perhaps as an introduction to another aspect of the poetry. Yet the snake-charmer story that follows has nothing (that I can see) to do with Basavanna's deep devotion to Shiva. I am not saying that the snake-charmer story doesn't fit into the article, but I am saying it does not fit where it is unless you tie it more closely to Shiva or Basavanna's devotion. Otherwise the paragraph becomes a choppy collection of details. -- Michael Devore (talk) 22:20, 22 October 2008 (UTC)
replies: text:  Simply switched the occurance of the first and second part of the sentence. Please see how it reads now.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 23:14, 22 October 2008 (UTC)
thread_title:  Article flow 

message: A problem I see with the article is that it has a large number of digressive and parenthetical clauses, affecting the article's readability. I don't think the clauses are always desirable and I think a sizeable portion of them should be either removed, trimmed, or reworked into multiple sentences. Of course, you will not want to keep all sentences short and devoid of any explanatory clauses, but I think the article goes to far in the other direction.
My first example is in (the fairly short): "It constituted the bulk of the Chalukya court's textual production and pertained mostly to writings relating to the socio-religious development of the Jain faith (an ancient religion of India). Here Jain is wikilinked and faith follows as a further explanatory word. I don't think that "(an ancient religion of India)" substantially adds to the article's content, but mostly bogs down the flow.
Dineshkannambadi (talk) 01:20, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: I fully agree with your analysis. I put all those bracketed explanations to satisfy Moni3 who felt that the article should be written for someone completely unaware of Indic culture. I will trim those you pointed out and more.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 00:15, 28 October 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: I have gone ahead and removed many unnecessary bracketed contents and simplified one of the sentences you pointed out.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 01:08, 28 October 2008 (UTC)
thread_title:  Parentheticals, asides, and digressions 

message: *Re:"The Hoysala court poets, some of who are noted for pioneering works in native metres, belonged to both the Shaiva (though not to the Vachana poetic tradition) and the Jain faith". This in the section titled "Literature after the Chalukyas". Why is it important to state that the Hoysala court poets belonged to Shaiva and Jain faith? I don't see how the sentence content relates to the article or section topic, except for the part of about "noted for pioneering works in native metres". -- Michael Devore (talk) 00:18, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: To avoid edit conflict, I will wait for you to finish before addressing these issues.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 01:01, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: I dont plan to start tonight. Will wait for you to finish. Planning my next article, perhaps "Kannada in early Indian epigraphy" (2nd century BC-5th century CE):)Dineshkannambadi (talk) 01:18, 30 October 2008 (UTC)

text: Didn't have as much time to work on it today as I would have liked, but at first glance your changes look OK. I'll try to work on the article as my time permits through Sunday night, and we'll see where we stand then. I'll post any questions here as they come to me. -- Michael Devore (talk) 05:30, 31 October 2008 (UTC)
thread_title:  Content questions 

message: There is duplication of thought in the same paragraph discussion with the two sentences "Several women poets whose poems are no less impressive than those of Akka Mahadevi's have been identified." and "Notable among them are Satyakka whose poems compare in quality to those of Akka Mahadevi..." -- Michael Devore (talk) 19:12, 2 November 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: Yes.only about Shantinatha and Nagavarmacharya. perhaps the patron info can be better worded.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 22:09, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: Simplified.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 22:14, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: Please recheck that entie para starting with Shantinatha, patronised.... I have simplified it.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 22:28, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
thread_title:  Content questions (break to new section)