Talk:Pilot (30 Rock)

message: , ,   - Peregrine Fisher 16:04, 2 September 2007 (UTC)
thread_title: Some possible refs

message: Hey, I've reviewed your article, and here are my suggestions-
Lead-
*It needs to be stated that it was in the first season.
*Is it an American only show, or did it premiere elsewhere?  Edit-I see in the reception section that it premiered in the UK sometime, so the UK info date needs to be added.
*No commas needed around "loose cannon film star".
*The short paragraph at the end can be incorporated into the first paragraph, and since Fey is already introduced, we only need her last name.
Plot
*Do "insane", "commuter"," restaurant", "hot dog", "southern fried chicken", "strip club", "live broadcast" really need to be linked?
Continuity
*The second sentence is a bit confusing, especially the "the series but, the allusion" part.
*Again, does "highway", "arrangements", or "singing" truly need to be linked?
*Maroney has already been introduced.
*The next to last sentence is confusing, but this might simply be due to comma placement.
*The verb tense here doesn't reflect the rest of the article, not counting plot.
Production
*Commas aren't needed around executive producer.
*"....instead of appearing as Jenna." isn't needed, as it has already been established that she wouldn't be portraying Jenna.
Reception
Ratings
*I'm guessing these statistics are Nielsen Ratings, so link Nielsen, and give a short explanation of what they mean.  
Critical Response
*A 67 doesn't explain much, but 67 out of *whatever the highest possible amount* does.
*"...based on viewing the pilot episode", "...after watching "Pilot"", "Having viewed the original pilot...", etc, aren't needed as we know they've seen the episode.
Looks like a good article otherwise.  Per GAN rules, one week (seven days) is an appropriate amount of time for these revisions to take place.  Please message me at my talk page once these have been completed, and I will be happy to review the article again.  Have a good day! Mastrchf91 (t/c) 04:03, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: Upon reviewing it a second time, I feel that this article is now GA-quality.  Congratulations on the job well done!  Mastrchf91 (t/c) 16:48, 9 March 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: GA Review

message: I've made it through the lead and first section so far. I have a few things that I'm unable to fix myself. 
*The series was given the green light to enter production in May 2006, after the production of this pilot episode. - Was the green light given in May 2006 or was production started in May 2006. Is the second clause redundant, since one cannot, by definition, continue with the rest of a series without making the pilot. 
*all viewers including adults aged between 18 and 49 - does this mean the group of all views PLUS the group of adults or the group of all viewers who are the named adults?
*Liz Lemon is getting a hot dog before work when a conflict begins with a fellow commuter - This is in passive voice and shouldn't be, however, I'm not sure who started the conflict, so I can't fix it.
*Against her own judgment, Liz meets with Tracy at a restaurant but they have to leave because it serves food that Tracy does not like. - This sentence is wordy, but I can't think of a good way to reduce it without losing meaning. 
--Gimme danger (talk) 01:53, 26 August 2008 (UTC)
thread_title:  FAC copy-edit 

message: At Wikipedia talk:Naming conventions (television)#TV pilot naming standards, there is a discussion about how articles about untitled pilots should be named.  A change has been proposed which would affect this article.  Regular editors of this page are invited to join the discussion. —Josiah Rowe (talk • contribs) 20:54, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
thread_title:  Naming convention discussion 

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thread_title:  External links modified 

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thread_title:  External links modified 

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