Talk:Death and the King's Horseman

message: Nigeria as a country has over 250 languages, and hence different customs. The use of the phrase 'Nigerian Tribal Law' is generic and does not take into account the fact that the customs are very diverse and the suicide required may be unique to the  Yorubas. I have modified the phrase 'Nigerian Tribal Law' to 'Yoruba Tradition.' 
It is less generic, and also less offensive -- as the use of the word 'tribal' implies. Azuka 06:46, 31 May 2006 (UTC)
thread_title:  Generic Connotations 

message: I removed the following section: 
===European Theatre and African Ritual===
Death and the King’s Horseman is a powerful tragedy which combines both the tradition of Yoruba tragedy and from ancient Greek drama and Shakespeare. The market women form a chorus of the Greek kind. Elesin is the classical hero while Olunde is a more modern one. Though there is not a perfect unity of place and action, both are in fact very much centred on the principal dramatic conflict, and the time observes fully the classical requirement of one day, for all the action takes place within one evening and night (ref)Typical structure of Greek Play: http://web.eecs.utk.edu/~mclennan/Classes/US210/Greek-play.html(/ref).   
At the same time, like a Shakespearean play, the play is a mixture of joys, sadness and a comic element within the grave atmosphere of a play. The scene in which African school-girls, helping their mothers drive away the black policeman Amusa from Elesin's improvised wedding chamber, perform a lively sketch of a dialogue at the English club, is a memorable example (ref)The Genres of Shakespeare’s plays: http://www.fathom.com/course/21701729/session6.html(/ref). 
The beginning of the fourth act is a variation on the masque, a 17th century court theatre genre (ref)History of the Masque: http://www.elizabethan-era.org.uk/elizabethan-masques.html(/ref). Through music, dance, movement and some improvised word it tells the events of the ball at the English club until Amusa's arrival from the market. The name and the form of the genre itself, royalty in a 17th century costume dancing a waltz and the Pilkingses' first prize for their death mask, all form a powerful image of anachronism and absurdity and transform the old genre into a moment of the theatre of the absurd.
because in spite of its references, it is pretty much a plagiarized paraphrase of pp.90-91 of this academic paper by Iva Gilbertova. Aristophanes68 (talk) 00:41, 22 April 2011 (UTC)
replies: text: Update: Almost the entire Gilbertova article was plagiarized, so I removed several sections in addition to the one mentioned above. Aristophanes68 (talk) 01:00, 22 April 2011 (UTC)
thread_title:  Plagiarism? 

message: A sizable portion of this article is the section on Yoruba perception of the world. While perhaps relevant to subject of the article, it seems somewhat excessive to me. There is very little in this section that actually relates to the novel, and the vast majority of it seems like it would be more appropriate in the Yoruba religion article. Jfmantis (talk) 22:01, 24 December 2013 (UTC)
thread_title:  Section on "Yoruba perception of the world" 

message: As far as I can tell, the whole Napierkowski/enotes footnote is bogus. But I'm not sure how to tag a citation as dubious, or whether to simply delete the citation all together and replace it with a CN tag. Thanks, Aristophanes68 (talk) 20:55, 4 September 2015 (UTC)
replies: text: That source is currently used for two statements, the very first sentence and duty as a motif of the play. For both instances we should easily be able to find more reliable sources (and I agree, these seem to be self-published study notes based on books that would be considered reliable, not the books themselves - not quite "bogus", but not reliable either). The Guardian can serve as the source in the first instance, for example. Huon (talk) 21:25, 4 September 2015 (UTC)
thread_title:  False Footnote? 

message: The first sentence of the sub-heading "Plot" is a very awkward sentence. Consider changing words to allow for better flow. 
"Death and The King's Horseman builds upon the true story to focus on the character of Elesin, the King's Horseman of the title."
''
Under "Performances" sub-heading, sentences feel to clumped together. The information is very good. However, the use of "was also" comes up twice. Try to change this because it messes with the flow of the sentences. 
"The play was performed at London's Royal National Theatre beginning in April 2009, directed by Rufus Norris, with choreography by Javier de Frutos and starring Lucian Msamati.[2] It was also performed at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival from February 14 to July 5, 2009.[7] The play was also staged by the St. Louis Black Repertory Theater February 2008, directed by Olusegun Ojewuyi, who also was dramaturge for the Oregon Shakespeare's production."
  — Preceding unsigned comment added by NicoFerrari (talk • contribs) 13:07, 4 October 2017 (UTC)
replies: text: I corrected, thank you for suggestions.--Ymblanter (talk) 14:02, 4 October 2017 (UTC)
thread_title:  Sentence Structuring  

message: Overall the page is broken down into appropriate sections, that allows users to have quick access to historical context and religion/spiritual to help their understand of the play. (Phoenix47.tm (talk) 18:25, 12 October 2017 (UTC)
replies: text: Overall the page is broken down into appropriate sections, that allows users to have quick access to historical context and religion/spiritual to help their understand of the play. The content is neutral and expresses the specific points of the plot of the play. (Phoenix47.tm (talk) 18:38, 12 October 2017 (UTC)
thread_title:  evaluation of content 

message: Perhaps it would be beneficial to reiterate what the "true story" is in this line "Death and The King's Horseman builds upon the true story to focus on the character of Elesin"
perhaps: "Death and The King's Horseman builds upon the true story which Soyianka based the play off of to focus on the character of Elesin"
This is because it is under a whole new section and readers may be confused as the what the "true story" is. Other than that the article is very good. I would recommend finding more examples of performances as i beleive there are more (but am not certain). I will try to add to the section when I am able to.
just a suggestion 
Good article way to go  — Preceding unsigned comment added by Aadambandaid (talk • contribs) 18:23, 19 October 2017 (UTC)
thread_title:  Revision of a single line 

message: The article is off to a good start and provides all the necessary information about the play.  Areas of improvement are including a biography of the playwrite and perhaps lengthening the plot section  — Preceding unsigned comment added by Alex Peters0707 (talk • contribs) 21:42, 19 October 2017 (UTC)
thread_title:  Peer Review 

message: Hello,
I like the conciseness of the plot you have written, however some of the language is confusing and perhaps needs to be revised? For example, the first sentence says, "Death and The King's Horseman builds upon the true story to focus on the character of Elesin, the King's Horseman of the title." I feel as though this sentence, and others throughout the article, could be edited to be shorter and more clear. 
In addition, I feel as though the plot section could be expanded further. Why is Duty a theme in this play? 
I really like the Yoruba Proverbs section you have created because it allows the readers of your page to further consider the cultural context of this play. 
In the talk page for this article I noticed a rather large section of the article was removed due to claims of plagiarism. Perhaps it would be beneficial to re-write this section while following the plagiarism guidelines and using proper citations, so that the readers of this article are still able to have access to that aspect of your article. 
Lastly, I think it would be beneficial to add a photo to your article. A photo of the original play cover, the Author or perhaps a map of the region where the play is set would make a good addition to this article. 
Great work, and I hope this helps!
Stillber (talk) 15:20, 3 November 2017 (UTC)
thread_title:  Suggestions and Comments