Talk:Killing Is My Business... and Business Is Good!

message: *Opening sentence: Comma splice - split into two sentences at the comma. "It was released..."
*Give the full release date: "It was released on June 12, 1985, through Combat Records."
*I think the specifics of the budget should be kept to the Background section. I'd remove the second sentence ("At the beginning...a further $4000.") and slightly reword the third sentence to "A majority of the album's budget was spent...".
*"a well-received effort that played essential role in establishing" - "a well-received effort that played an essential role in establishing"
*"It explores themes of death, violence and occultism, and received strong reviews in various music publications." - another comma splice. I think the last two sentences need to be split into three: "Despite the resulting poor production, the album was a well-received effort that received strong reviews in various music publications. Killing Is My Business played an essential role in establishing thrash metal as an authentic sub-genre of heavy metal music. The album explores themes of death, violence and occultism."
*"setlist" isn't hyphenated.
: I reduced the intro to the point it makes sense to the reader. Kept the third sentence as suggested, cut the second one and re-worded the first one, because I felt it was necessary to stay in order the intro to sound comprehensive.--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 19:49, 31 January 2014 (UTC)
thread_title: Lead

message: *"Two months after being dismissed from his previous band" - I assume "his previous band" is Metallica, from the context of the first 2 sentences. If so, "from his previous band" is redundant and can be cut.
*"Mustaine later recalled: " - change the colon to a comma
*"and on the strength of their demo" - "and on the strength of that demo"
*"budget on drugs, alcohol and food the band was forced" - "budget on drugs, alcohol and food, the band was forced"
: everything referring to this section.--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 16:15, 31 January 2014 (UTC)
thread_title: Background

message: *"Kerry King of Slayer was playing lead guitar for a short period" - "Kerry King of Slayer played lead guitar for a short period"
*"In the summer of 1985" - per WP:SEASON, don't use seasons. "In mid-1985"
*Again, give the full release date
*Comma splice - split the first two sentences of the third paragraph at the first comma (remove the word "and" and the second sentence will be fine)
*"A limited edition of the album" - since this directly follows the mention of a different album, use "A limited edition of Killing Is My Business" to avoid ambiguity
*"The CD itself is made to look like a mini LP and is pressed on black plastic with grooves on the top to imitate a LP, this version has the original cover which was lost, and the song "These Boots..." was removed." - Several changes: The first part has some redundancy, remove "is made to look like a mini LP" so that it reads "The CD itself is pressed on black...imitate an LP" (an LP, not a LP, since you pronounce it "an ell-pee"). Split into two sentences after LP, and some rewriting: "This version's cover is redesigned to match Mustaine's original sketch, and the song "These Boots" was removed." (I also removed the "..." from "These Boots", as both track listings don't show any ...).
: everything referring to this section.--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 18:33, 31 January 2014 (UTC)
thread_title: Release and promotion

message: *"is an instrumental segue featuring piano intro." - "featuring a piano intro."
*"an online request to a radio station to play the tune saying it was" - Comma: "an online request to a radio station to play the tune, saying it was"
*"under suspicion of commencing potential shooting spree." - "under suspicion of commencing a potential shooting spree."
*"The song tells about Jesus Christ using religious metaphors and imagery." - I'm going to assume by the context that this means that the song uses religious metaphors and imagery. If so, it needs a comma: "The song tells about Jesus Christ, using religious metaphors and imagery." (Otherwise it sounds like the song is about how Jesus used religious metaphors and imagery).
: everything referring to this section.--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 15:09, 1 February 2014 (UTC)
thread_title: Songs

message: *"gaining favorable reviews from the mainstream press, not just metal-oriented magazines." - This is a judgment call, but I might rewrite this as "gaining favorable reviews not just from metal-oriented magazines, but from the mainstream press too." or something to that effect. I think it reads a little better the second way, but again, your call.
*"showed their great potential through the angry and passionate musicianship" - "showed their great potential through the angry and passionate musicianship" > "showed great potential through angry and passionate musicianship"
*"in the early 80s." - "in the early 1980s."
*"masterful" is spelled with one "l", both regularly and in the source.
*Piero Scaruffi is not a reliable source for reviews per this discussion.
*I'm not 100% sold from what is said in the section that the album "was widely acclaimed" and gained entirely "favorable reviews". A lot of the reviews given seem to like the album overall, but had specific-but-important issues (the production, the riffs and compositions not being fully developed, the "amateur" vocals, still "finding their way"). I might put a qualifier in front of "favorable reviews", like "somewhat favorable reviews" or "favorable reviews, with some reservations".
: everything referring to this section.--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 15:26, 1 February 2014 (UTC)
thread_title: Critical reception

message: '"Chosen Ones" was partially inspired by Tim the Enchanter from the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail and features humorous lyrics'. I don't feel that this statement is true. Yes, the majority of Megadeth fans know what the song is about, but, as for the song featuring humorous lyrics, it doesn't. Going to remove this statement. 95.45.113.179 (talk) 20:51, 11 March 2015 (UTC)
thread_title: "Chosen Ones" song description

message: In the section Killing Is My Business... and Business Is Good!#Songs, there is the following passage:
"In the liner notes of the album's re-issue, Mustaine was strongly critical of Hazlewood, noting that he received royalties for almost 10 years before objecting to the altered version."
This content has been in the article for 10 years without any objection and is backed by a source which states:
"In the 'Killing Is My Business...' deluxe edition liner notes, Mustaine is strongly critical of Hazlewood and notes Hazlewood received royalties for almost 10 years before objecting to the altered version."
The "he" that is being referred to is clearly Lee Hazlewood. However, new user Nuro Dragonfly has repeatedly changed "noting that he received royalties" to "noting that she received royalties" without offering an explanation for the change. Since this new user has commanded that I not revert his "correction" I will note the error here and hopefully another editor can fix the article. Piriczki (talk) 13:47, 28 February 2016 (UTC)
replies: text: I sent you an apology and deleted this panel of inane bs, but you put it back? Why? Is there some reason to continue to try and rub this in my face? Or is it your efforts at revenge for me being wrong? Nuro msg me 21:44, 29 February 2016 (UTC)
thread_title:  "These Boots" 

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thread_title:  External links modified 

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