Talk:Emsworth

message: Nicholas Lyndhurst was  born in Emsworth. User:Brenont 03:16, 5 June 2007 (UTC)
thread_title: Comments

message: The information presented in the Early Emsworth section is written in what I feel is an unencyclopedic fashion. It is written in a way that almost sounds like it's been edited to be patronising. Now, I'm not suggesting this is the fact and the information is useful in essence, but the style seems off to me.
"Emsworth was granted the right to hold a market (in those days there were few shops and if you wanted to buy or sell anything you had to go to a market). Emsworth was also allowed an annual fair, in the Middle Ages fairs were like markets but they were held only once a year and people travelled long distances to Emsworth to buy and sell at them."
This is, as far as I have a right to say, true, but the writing niggles at me. Although it explains what markets and fairs are I can't help but feel a little off by it; as said it sounds just a tiny bit childish, perhaps.
"n the Middle Ages Emsworth was a busy little port. Large quantities of wine (the drink of the upper class) were imported from Europe through Emsworth."
A busy little port can certainly be written in a better way.
"King Street is named after a man named John King who settled there in the late 18th century and started a ship building business."
This needs a citation. Is it important? "a man named" suggests a random person but if it is true and cited then fair enough.
"During the 18th and 19th centuries Emsworth was still a busy little port." Same as above.
"flow out under a mill turning its 'wheel'." Why Wheel is in scare quotes I don't know because as far as I'm aware wheel is the correct term.
"In the 19th century Emsworth had as many as 30 pubs and beer houses, probably to do with the fact that Emsworth was a fishing village. Today, only nine remain, and this number may have decreased due to the Emsworth fishing and oyster trade dying down, or to the consolidation of the pub trade in the 1990s and 2000"
If this is true then it should be cited. However, the "probably to do with" doesn't seem encyclopedic. Perhaps a simple rewording will make it more professional. The same is true for the indecisive nature of the second sentance.
" Recently, Emsworth's last remaining oyster boat The Terror was restored and is now sailing again." Needs a citation, unless I'm mistaken?
"At the beginning of the 19th century Emsworth had a population of less than 1,200, this made Emsworth a large village at the time" No problem with the information but the population needs a citation.
"However, Emsworth failed to take off as a seaside resort." The article does not suggest it ever tried to.
The populations throughout need citations.
Now: I'm not suggesting this information is incorrect. I just feel that at some parts it sounds childish or patronising and that we would benefit with a more professional style. I have already been quite presumptious of being correct by describing it all here --- I would not be so arrogant as to assume what I say is true. Therefore, I'll present my case here and ask: does anyone agree with me?
I will not edit unless somebody does, out of respect of the person or people that put this information. I'm not asking for the information to be removed, but rewritten with an encyclopedic style.
Many thanks Lord loss210 (talk) 16:24, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
replies: text: Do please help to improve the article. If you need advice just ask at my talk page.--Charles (talk) 18:43, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
thread_title:  Style 

message: If a gallery is to be removed, should there not be at least be a check made, that there is a Commons link in place  beforehand? SovalValtos (talk) 16:03, 6 May 2014 (UTC)
replies: text: Fair point.--Charles (talk) 17:21, 6 May 2014 (UTC)
thread_title:  Gallery and a Commons Link 

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thread_title:  External links modified 

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thread_title:  External links modified 

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thread_title:  External links modified