Talk:Necrid

message: If you look, both of them were once humans who were mutated by Soul Edge.  Both of them lust after the blade, and both of them have one arm transformed into a huge talon with spikes poking out of their wrists. 75.157.79.96 (talk) 05:44, 29 July 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: Necrid kinda looks like Nightmare

message: Okay, this is pretty much just like the old character analysis section from before. I'm removing these for the same reason people from before deleted the character analysis section. If you want to find out why, check out Taki's and Kilik's talk pages. If people want a strategy guide, they should go to fansites. Mythmonster2 (talk) 06:26, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: Gameplay

message: Soul Calibur 4 introduces the character Algol, whose attacks seem remarkably similar to Necrid, in that he has no set weapon, just an aura of energy that conforms into different weapons during combat. Is this worth putting into the article?  —Preceding unsigned comment added by 68.111.251.45 (talk) 06:41, 30 July 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: Worth Mentioning?

message: Just thought I'd say that :) Judgesurreal777 (talk) 15:55, 18 August 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: I still need to flesh out his gameplay and appearance sections though, and add the last few bits about promotions. I should be able to pull off of that off today however.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 16:19, 18 August 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: Looks ready for GA!

message: You had a good number of typos and little wording problems, but I took the liberty of fixing them, so I have no issue with passing you now. Good work. One note, however, is that the image resolutions used are a bit high. You should reduce them to about the size of the preview you get when you click on the image's data page. --erachima talk 05:58, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: GA review: Pass

message: Before endorsing A-class could I ask you to look at the following:
*"Instead of fight he fled" shouldn't that be 'fighting'?
*Where's the rest of the lead? Though the article is short the reader isn't being given enough details within the lead to get a grip on the subject.
If you'll look at those I'll support. Someoneanother 21:01, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: Gave a shot at fixing that and expanding it a little. I'm really not too sure what else to add in there though without leaning too heavily into the meat of the article. I fixed up the image as requested as well.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 06:09, 2 September 2008 (UTC)

text: Yep. The two pieces of armor shown on his thighs are linked to it rather than bound to his pants (in his profile mode you can see them raised slightly off his pants hinged to the central piece).--Kung Fu Man (talk) 15:16, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: I'm still not liking the lead that much. I would rather have a 3-paragraph lead. Is there anyway to organize it that way? --haha169 (talk) 05:07, 15 September 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: If he was a more complex character in terms of plot perhaps, but I can't think of anything really to buffer it further...>_<'--Kung Fu Man (talk) 05:11, 15 September 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: A-class support on-hold

message: He only appears in one game, not notable. I can't see why this article isn't merged.76.167.244.204 (talk) 02:43, 23 December 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: Merge

message: Per a request from Kung Fu Man, here are some copy edit suggestions to improve the article's prose.
;The lead
*This sentence could use some tweaking: "Designed by Canadian comic book artist and toy designer Todd McFarlane through a collaboration with Namco, he first appeared in allthe three console versions of Soulcalibur II and later as part of an action figure set created by McFarlane Productions."
**Is it necessary to know that McFarlane is Canadian? With that many adjectives in front of his name a comma is necessary after the first adjective. However, the extra comma would probably confuse readers. Removing "Canadian" should solve this.
**"All" just sounded off to me. No big deal as it's more personal preference.
**I think it would better clarify the last part by stating "McFarlane Productions". I think it would also reduce repetition in the reader's mind because it is a company instead of a person.
*Some tweaking and different content: "Drastically mutated, he wields various forms of energy as weapons, and, after escaping the dimension, he while searchinges for fragments of the shattered Soul Edge to alleviate his constant pain."
**The constant pain sounds weird to me because this is the first it's ever mentioned but is not put into context. I'd remove it as it doesn't seem important.
**I'd add in the fact he escaped the dimension instead. That's just me though.
*I want to say a comma belongs here, but I'm not sure: "Since Necrid's introduction, the character..."
*"While" is used twice close together—at the end of one sentence and at the beginning of the next. I'd switch one out with a different word like "Though".
;Conception and history
*Not a big deal, but I would place citations at the end of sentences instead of after commas. References can be doubled up at the end of a sentence instead of split up between the statements.
*The second sentence in the first paragraph is a run on with two conjunctions, and needs some rewriting: "McFarlane at the time was interested in creating a new Spawn video game, and began seeking a developer, which resulted in a deal with Namco. during dDiscussions with Namco the subject turned to toys, and another deal was formed to release a line of toys based upon Soulcalibur II."
**Instead of "at the time", I'd give a year of some kind to give better context.
**Splitting up the sentence fixes the run on and gives some more room to expand the ideas.
**I believe upon in this case is redundant/excess formality; the one in the second paragraph looks fine though.
;Design
*Punctuation is only included in quotes when the quote is a full sentence. A single phrase or word does not require it: "...a 'power plant.'."
*The last paragraph is too short in my opinion. I'd either find some more content to expand it or combine it to the second paragraph.
;In video games
*Some tweaking: "Instead of fighting he fled andHe became trapped in the dimension after fleeing from Inferno, and was warped physically and mentally over theafter living there for years."
**I don't think enough context is present to understand this info. Not sure if my version is much better though.
*Some more tweaking: "He escaped dDuring the closing events of Soulcalibur he escaped, but quickly..."
**Switching the words around remove the need to have a comma after "Soulcalibur", which could clutter the sentence.
*Minor tweaking: "Attacking travelers out of instinct, he happened upon a fragment of the first Soul Edge, and felt his pain dampened."
**Sounds a bit in-universe to me (highlighted green), but still works.
**I don't believe the second comma is needed; it creates an unnecessary break in the flow. Double check it though, because I'm not certain.
*The information about the EGM interview seems unnecessary. The reference already provides this information. Mentioning the source is fine for reception, but unnecessary for development content. I'd summarize the statement.
*The last paragraph is too short compared to the previous. I'd combine the two.
;Gameplay
*Punctuation in quotes again: "horrific splendor,"
*The first sentence would really benefit from placing the citations at the end. With the number of commas in it, the citations add to pauses and breaks the flow of the sentence. That's how it read to me anyway.
*If "however" is used in mid-sentence, it should be between two commas: "He does feature some original moves, however, such as..."
;Promotion and merchandising
*Tweaking: "Later interviews with Yotoriyama and McFarlane discussed the character, and, prior to the game's console release, and particular attention was drawn to Necrid on the text for each version of the game's box art."
**I'm not sure about these suggestions because I'm not certain what the original intent of the sentence is. So disregard and/or tweak as you see fit.
**Commas are missing.
*Missing commas: "Promotional items featuring the character, such as an animated emoticon, artwork and screen shots, were later..."
*Excess formality: "...a Necrid sculpture amongst a set of five based..."
*This many "and"s needs a comma: "The figure was modeled after Necrid's secondary outfit, and stood six inches tall with a base and posable arms and head."
;Critical reception
*I think the "He-Man" link should go to He-Man and the Masters of the Universe as I'm sure that's the intended meaning. Your call though. Either way, it should also be italicized since it's a series title.
*There are a couple of lengthy quotes in this section. I would paraphrase and summarize more. Single words and short phrases are fine, but nothing too long.
**Instead of "taken straight from the pages of Bad American Comic Book Design 101.", maybe try "an example of poor, American comic book design.", or something similar.
**Instead of "Todd McFarlane made this character for this game, and I thank him for it. Necrid is very fast, and can fight just as well...[He] is a great addition to the Soul Calibur family.", maybe try "PGNx Media praised McFarlane's participation in the design as well as the speed and fighting ability of the character. They further commented that Necrid was a great addition to the series."
*Missing comma: "However, other reviewers instead gave..."
*"Soul Calibur" in the quotes should be italicized.
;References
*If you haven't already, I would prepare rationales for some of the lesser known video game sites: PGNx Media, Netjak, and Insert Credit. I know I would question them at an FAC.
That's all I have time for now. I'll try to finish it tomorrow. Hope it helps. (Guyinblack25 talk 23:41, 8 January 2009 (UTC)
replies: text: There's part two. Hope it helps. The article was a good read and once the prose is cleaned up, it should stand a chance at FAC. You may get some flak about the length, but as long as it's comprehensive that shouldn't be an issue. Good luck at FAC. (Guyinblack25 talk 16:46, 9 January 2009 (UTC)
thread_title:  Copy edit suggestions 

message: Unfortunately, the FAC got archived when I was in the middle of writing my feedback, so I will post it here for an idea of things to work on to bring this up to FA standard:
*It's not bad. But, it suffers from some prose issues, not the least of which is the jargon/game-guide language pervasive in many VG articles that show up here. In a nutshell, this needs to be accessible on its own to someone who is not familiar with video games. There are some examples phrases below. This needs someone new, preferably a non-gamer, to go through and audit the prose and level of jargon.
** Much as it pains, we must assume a general audience for this article and not a gamer audience. Therefore, phrases such as "three console versions" are jargon and require wikilinks or in-text explanation.
** "As a result, both companies share the copyright; Namco's on the character as a derivative work of McFarlane's illustrations." I can't work out what you're saying in the second clause.
***Blast it to hell, that was that guy that opposed the FAC first. I don't get why he insisted on changing the meaning of the sentence like that.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 05:01, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
replies: text: --Laser brain (talk) 19:43, 21 April 2009 (UTC)
thread_title:  Post-FAC feedback 

message: I can't see how Necrid, who appeared in 1 game, has an article that people worked on so long that it became a featured article candidate, while other characters much more central to the series, especially Mitsurugi and Taki, don't have full articles.--172.132.65.31 (talk) 20:28, 28 May 2009 (UTC)
replies: text: Having an article isn't about how many times he appears in a game, but how important he is overall. - The New Age Retro Hippie used Ruler! Now, he can figure out the length of things easily. 18:45, 14 October 2009 (UTC)
replies: text: necrid is not important at all in the series, he's a bonus character.  —Preceding unsigned comment added by 76.70.122.168 (talk) 03:08, 12 January 2010 (UTC)
replies: text: It doesn't matter what he is in the game. An unimportant character to the game could be an important character in real life, whereas an important character to the game could be downright trivial in the real world. - The New Age Retro Hippie used Ruler! Now, he can figure out the length of things easily. 22:28, 16 May 2010 (UTC)
thread_title:  If Necrid has his own excellent article then why don't other people? 

message: How should we classify Necrid? --Niemti (talk) 08:17, 15 June 2012 (UTC)
replies: text: He's a mutant in the basest sense, not undead nor demonic (or even possessed).--Kung Fu Man (talk) 01:04, 17 June 2012 (UTC)
thread_title:  Demon and/or undead? 

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