Talk:Alan Rawsthorne

message: Did he actually attempt careers in Dentistry and Architecture, or merely study them, or perhaps merely consider them?
The alternative sounds painful and dangerous!
Prieure Belges (talk) 15:49, 16 March 2010 (UTC)
replies: text: And the "false starts" seem to be painfully lifted from Grove. Maintenance needed.--MistyMorn (talk) 15:49, 14 October 2011 (UTC)
replies: text: "False starts" was indeed lifted from New Grove (as the citation indicates), to replace the "attempt careers", rightly objected to above. Now that we have an actual citation, we get sniping from the sidelines about a need for "maintenance". Paraphrase (as opposed to direct quotation) is encouraged on Wikipedia, so instead of unconstructive criticism, please make a suggestion or two about a better way of representing "Rawsthorne did not turn to the serious study of music until he was 19, having made false starts in both dentistry and architecture", without substantially altering the sense of the source. Or, better still, have a go at editing the sentence yourself.—Jerome Kohl (talk) 17:00, 14 October 2011 (UTC)
replies: text: Oops... erm, sorry, Jerome. My remark was meant to be drawn from the dentist's chair and was not aimed to hurt anyone's sensibilities. I certainly wasn't intending to take a swipe at your wisdom! Seriously... he article had actually already been tagged for maintenance, and in response I've tried to expand the brief bio a little. It's currently based mainly on Grove & ODNB, along with some Naxos sleevenotes by John Belcher, the President of The Friends of Alan Rawsthorne (their website provides another useful source, alongside this). Since I'm one of those strange types who feels the urge to press the repeat button after listening to most orchestral Rawsthorne, I intend to order McCabe's biography up from my local lending library with the intention of expanding the article further in time. Please do go ahead and make any corrections, additions, etc.  Regards--MistyMorn (talk) 19:58, 14 October 2011 (UTC)

text: Apology accepted. It looks like you've done some really good work already, and the quips about dentistry are a big improvement on Evans. There are some formatting issues but, so far as I can see, everything you have added is solidly documented and therefore improves the article significantly.—Jerome Kohl (talk) 20:12, 14 October 2011 (UTC)
replies: text: Thanks Jerome, I'm aware that the refs/notes are currently all a bit higgledy piggledy. And I really don't know what to do with some of the material in the 'Family' section. Anyway, building work always takes time. And the McCabe biography is obviously a key source.--MistyMorn (talk) 20:20, 14 October 2011 (UTC)

text: Btw, the other day I was reading WP:PARAPHRASE. I find the details quite challenging, especially at the level of individual sentences. That's what made me sensitive to the issue.--MistyMorn (talk) 20:35, 14 October 2011 (UTC)
thread_title: Careers

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