Talk:Limerence/Archive 3

message: I think limerance can be both or either infatuation and love.  I think the distinction can be no different than that between "sky" and "heavens."  What is love but a term used to refer to a certain attraction that is defined by literature, poetry; song.  It's an idealist descriptive.  Limerance is a peculiar form of love, in that it can be differentiated from fraternal love or familial love.  It is romantic love, as trite as that may sound.  It's unique between people of different sexes, or maybe between two people of the same sex if they are homosexual (I don't know for sure, because I can't experience homosexual love directly).  I'm guessing Tennov's observation that it must be between the limerent and a potential sexual partner is correct.
Trying to distinguish limerance and infatuation is futile.  One might imagine that infatuation is something lesser, but both terms are conjunctive in any case, and the parameters of infatuation are undefined.  Thus, the two are part and parcel.  It's no different than trying to distinguish limerance and crystallization.
What is "romantic love" but limerance?  The definition of limerance in this article coincides perfectly with literary, romantic notions of love.  Consult Byron, Bon Jovi, Terrance, a medieval chanson de geste, or some Renaissance poet of the French court.  They are, hackneyedly, two sides of the same coin.
A neologism?  So?  Every word is neoligistic at one point or another.  Neologistics are relative.  Limerance is not, relatively, that new, and it helps explain a certain feeling in excruciatingly correct detail.  If a search for the term "infatuation" leads one to "limerance" then I say this is good and well, because a better discertation of infatuation cannot be found.
Yes, "Waiting for a Star to Fall" is exemplary of limerance, as is "Greensleeves" (look up the lyrics on Google) or Sheriff's "When I'm With You" or any of a number of pop love songs.  They exemplify limerance well.  Literature has been articulating this for a long time.
If you are a limerent, you will read this article and squirm.  What you once thought was a unique, or relatively rare, occurrence of true romantic love emitting from you towards your limerent object will be laid bare.  This article occasioned something of an existential crisis in me, because it scientifically dissected my feelings towards my past crushes.  It stings and liberates.  But, I am still convinced that it is not a bad thing.  Of course, I can't help but believe this.—Preceding unsigned comment added by SigLaw1893 (talk • contribs) 222:02, November 9, 2006 (UTC)
:I don't see why identifying / empathasising with the other's feelings and limerence are mutally exclusive. I'm quite badly affected by limerence and can say with certainty that you can also be very concerned with the feelings of the limerent other.  I also would like to see more about the connection, either cause of effect, with serotonin levels. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Leica0000 (talk • contribs) 18:51, November 10, 2006 (UTC)
::I couldn't agree with you more. As someone who does experience limerence for people of the same sex, I can tell you it is the same (at least as Tennov describes it). Tennov had a section in her book dedicated to what she called "homolimerence" but in my opinion, as well an article I've read looking at limerence and bisexuality, a distinction is unnecessary. Another thing I am happy you pointed out which is important, and I often forget about, is the pervasiveness of limerence in pop culture and music. With the definition of limerence in mind you just need to turn on the radio and hear how it plays out. I also agree that a scientific look at the subject and acknowledgment that many people experience it harms it in now way. After all the reading I have done on the subject, the feelings are still the same. In the old article there was some connection with serotonin levels, but it was unsourced and I could find no article addressing a biological basis for limerence, though there is a section in Tennov's book about it.  I chose not to include it since modern reviews I have read of the book paint it as the most inaccurate part. abexy 07:41, 12 November 2006 (UTC)
replies: text:  This talk almost literally leaves me dumb-struck, in panic, because it - at least in my own eyes, is totally founded in whatever "unfoundable" subjective truth that has apparently been so objectionable, and it scares me. I had always known my feelings had extended beyond what could be considered infatuation, in the sense that intrusive thinking, and constant associations with a limerent object never cease in me. There is no freedom within my own mind to resolve the choas that is ensuing. You can wake-up one late November evening, flushed with a cold-sweat and a migraine to go, asking yourself, quite simply, Why? I don't want to digress onward about my own personal experience, because the message has been made very clear amongst some of the other editors already. Limerence is indeed a peculiar form of love, and a regrettable one at that... It does offer a lot of comfort knowing that I'm not going insane, and that there is at least terminology, or some understanding of what could be happening to many of us. --Kemyou 12:01, 20 November 2006 (UTC)
thread_title: What I Think

message: This article explains that limerance is "the name for an involuntary cognitive and emotional state similar to infatuation, posited by psychologist Dorothy Tennov, in which a 'limerent individual' feels an intense romantic desire for a 'limerent object'."  When one clicks the link to infatuation, all they get is a DAB page with the only link being to a vague Wiktionary entry on infatuation.  Limerance is also explained as "much longer-lived than feelings such as crushes, infatuation, romantic passion, and puppy love, enduring for months or even years."  Again a link but no lead to infatuation.  Infatuation and limerance are not synonymous nor interchangeable, therefore infatuation needs its own entry.  I'm not a scholar or a shrink and my only insights on human behavior are made on real-life observations so I'm definitely not one to write an article about infatuation-- but there's plenty of well-spoken (well-writing?) folks here in WP who could do it. Jaguara 22:22, 30 November 2006 (UTC)
thread_title: Infatuation

message: This article clearly states that limerance is different from infatuation, and yet the disambiguation page for infatuation points here.  I consider that to be contradictory (i.e., this article states they are 2 different concepts, and yet the disambiguation page implies they are the same).  The main article should clarify the difference between the two.  69.140.173.15 05:06, 1 January 2007 (UTC)
thread_title: So what ''is'' the difference between limerance and [[infatuation]]?

message: Can it be said that the main characters in Serendipity (film) were experiencing limerence with each other as their object? Siyavash 17:10, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
replies: text: I think if we tried to add all the places where it seemed limerence came up in pop culture we would have to make another article both longer and with more disputes in it that this one just for them all. abexy 09:42, 10 January 2007 (UTC)
thread_title:  Limerence in culture? 

message: No, this needs a team of psychologists and a team of writers locked up in a room together working something out.
Failing that, we can at least start by defining "infatuation". Wherever we define limerence, it is defined as being different than infatuation. The link to infatuation is a redirect to limerence. Someone who has read the book needs to make it clear what Tennov means by limerence, as well as how it's different from what is usually called infatuation. We need to know how it is different from "crushes, infatuation, romantic passion, and puppy love"; these all link to limerence. We need to differentiate between the work of several people, and make it clear that their theories are by no means consensus. What I would eventually like to see is one article with several short sections on various theories. Agent_Koopa 02:55, 16 December 2006 (UTC)
thread_title:  This needs a rewrite.