Talk:Eddie Hill

message: ;Lead
The lead looks to be a decent history synopsis of his career and all, but I noticed a couple of things:
*The "Fast Eddie" nickname doesn't have an in-line cite.
*"His racing career began as a land drag racer in 1955 in a home-built dragster in Texas" – "in a" might sound better as "with a".
*"...he returned to racing" – to avoid redundancy within the sentence, "racing" should probably be replaced with something like "the occupation" maybe?
*The lead's wikilinking seems a bit weak, and especially a couple of the key topics should be linked to. I saw some of this throughout the article too, such as "Longview High School" near the beginning.
*"1963 - 1966, 1985-1999" in the Years active section of the infobox ought to be consistent en dashing between years, generally without spacing between dash and number, too.
;Career section
As for this section, the prose looks fine, except for "the machine had two engines, which each engine" – "which" seems like it was supposed to be "with".
*I got a little confused with the references to "B/Gas" and "A/Gas"; could that be explained a bit in the article, if possible?
*"Hill thought the drivers were crazy" would probably be best presented as a quote if possible, such as "Hill thought the drivers were 'crazy'".
*"Hill finished in the Top 10 in Top Fuel points every year but one between 1987 and 1995" was a little shaky to me. Perhaps: "Hill finished in the Top 10 in Top Fuel points for all but one of the years between 1987 and 1995" unless you can think of something better.
"Eddie Hill Rule" sect – It'd be best to mention the term "Eddie Hill Rule" once in that section at the end, for clarity and establishing the term's context. The sentences struck me as kind of stop-and-go, being short and needing a couple of reads before they blend together. That's the only real prose that caught my attention, although the things I noticed above might be mentioned in a GAN, too.
;Referencing
The article overall is good with referencing the detailed information, records broken, etc. There are some unsourced standalone statements in the land drag racing section that are kind of concerning, as well as some other areas about Hill's career (I can point out the specific facts if needed). The in-line cites near those facts might be covering them, but it doesn't always look like it. Also, in the "Eddie Hill Rule" section, does ref #10 back up all of the previous facts in that paragraph?
Another thought: this isn't really a big deal, but you might run into issues with the small beginning part of the Career section being somewhat non-career related. It sounds more like info for just a "Biography" section, but if there's not enough info to create some kind of an "Early life" section, that's probably fine. Just a thought.
This was a nice read, and overall I noticed the career history was comprehensive and worked good together. (Even I, one who doesn't know much about motorsports, felt like I came away with a decent understanding!) I'd say that this is pretty close to GA, and overall very nicely composed; the referencing need to be checked and the prose tweaked with what I mentioned above. Others might spot some stuff that I missed or forgot to add to this list, but you've got a pretty good biography here – well done with compiling all of that info. :-)  Hope this helps, Jamie☆S93 02:21, 15 August 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: Very helpful, thanks! "Fast Eddie" cite is needed, so I contacted a drag racing friend to look for a source. I'll remove if he can't find a source. Did most of the comments, although I don't see a problem with wikilinking in the lead paragraph. I had remove wikilinks until I got to this level to be considered correct in a recent FA attempt. I don't understand the difference between A/Gas and B/Gas (else I would have written articles), but I'm pretty sure they are obsolete classes of drag racing from the 1960s. Referencing was greatly expanded and the lousy Eddie Hill Rule section was rewritten/reformulated. Royalbroil 01:55, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
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