Talk:Howie Morenz

message: Here are my detailed comments on the lead and section 1.  Please be aware that they have been written in a hurry. 
;Lead:
*He played centre for the Montreal Canadiens (in two stints), the Chicago Black Hawks, and the New York Rangers of the National Hockey League (NHL).
**Slightly awkward.  Might be better to say, "He played centre for three National Hockey League (NHL) teams: the Montreal Canadiens (in two stints), the Chicago Black Hawks, and the New York Rangers."
***Changed
* Once in the NHL, he became one of the ...
**Don't really need "Once."
***Removed
*During his NHL career he placed in the top 10 leading scorers 10 times
**I don't know what the MoS guidelines are for this, but I'd be inclined to change the second "10" to "ten."
***Changed
*Three times in his career he was named the most valuable player of the league, and he led the league in goals scored once and points scored twice.
**Would it be clearer to say, "Three times in his career he was named the most valuable player of the league, and he led the league once in goals scored and twice in points scored."
***Changed
* After his death, the Canadiens removed his jersey number from circulation, the first time the team had done so.
** How about, "After his death, the Canadiens  retired his jersey number, the first time the team had done so for any player."
***Changed
;Personal life:
*Born in Mitchell, Ontario, to William Morenz, Howie Morenz had three sisters and a brother
**Where's the mother?
***I looked around for her name, but couldn't find it in any of the material I used. The specific reference for that sentence only says William's name, and gives no mention of his mother.
*After starting the 1916–17 season as a goaltender,...
**What league's season?  The Junior ???
***Added
*The Morenz family moved to Stratford, a nearby community, in May 1917.
**This seems redundant information that doesn't seem to be used later.  If it needs to be mention, it might be better as the first part of a sentence, "After the Morenz family moved ..., Morenz tried enlisting ..."
***One of his nicknames, the "Stratford Streak," referenced where he was from; I've moved around the sentence to keep that included, as it was a rather important aspect of his life.
*Morenz got an apprenticeship with the Canadian National Railways (CNR) factory in Stratford.
**Morenz became aprenticed to/with the ...
***Changed
*In 1926 he married Mary Stewart; they had three children together, two sons and a daughter. Howie, Jr. was born in 1927, Donald in 1933 and Marlene in 1934.
**Staccatto style.  Better to combine: In 1926 he married Mary Stewart; together, they had three children, Howie, Jr. in 1927, Donald in 1933, and Marlene in 1934.  (It is understood that it is two sons and a daughter.)
***Changed
*Marlene married Bernie Geoffrion, who played for both the Canadiens and Rangers from 1950 to 1968, in 1952.
**Awkward.  We don't need to know when Marlene was married.  So, "Marlene later married Bernie Geoffrion, who played for both the Canadiens and Rangers from 1950 to 1968." 
***Changed
*Their son, Howie's grandson, Dan, briefly played for the Canadiens in the 1970s
**Since you are referring to HM as Morenz, better to stay with that, "Their son, Morenz's grandson, ..."
***Changed
Regards, Fowler&fowler«Talk» 20:22, 15 October 2009 (UTC)
replies: text: Thanks for the comments. They've all been addressed. Kaiser matias (talk) 00:39, 16 October 2009 (UTC)
replies: text: One more correction: 
*In Montreal, Morenz began explaining his reasons for not signing to Dandurand but began crying.
**Should the "but" be "and?"  Fowler&fowler«Talk» 22:18, 18 October 2009 (UTC)
thread_title: F&f's comments

message: I do wonder if a pulmonary embolism (PE) could have been the cause of death. Does anyone know if an autopsy was performed? Bone fractures and being immobile are risk factors for deep vein thrombosis (a bloot clot in the large veins, in this theoretical case, of the leg). If the clot formed in the leg and broke off, it could have traveled to the lungs (become a PE), which can cause chest pain and death. Biosthmors (talk) pls notify me (i.e. ) while signing a reply, thx 19:56, 21 September 2016 (UTC)
thread_title:  Cause of death 

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thread_title:  External links modified 

message: If my special search is correct, this article misspelled "forever" as "forver". Atomic Sphere (talk) 18:56, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
replies: text: Good catch, that's been fixed. Kaiser matias (talk) 19:14, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
replies: text: Oh my goodness... I've been recognized!! Thank you so much!!! Atomic Sphere (talk) 19:25, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
thread_title:  Mispelling