Talk:Concerned

message: Here's my take on what might be done to improve this article further, based on my interpretation of weaknesses suggested by the FAC.  If not preempted or otherwise dissuaded I imagine I'll probably get to all of these sometime in the next few weeks (unless it's days or months).  The third of these is pretty straightforward, but the other two really aren't.
* The prose of the article as a whole should be polished further.  FA criterion 1(a) is that "its prose is engaging, even brilliant, and of a professional standard".  The professional standard part seems to be providing cover for mundane things like ungrammatical or unencyclopedic content, and I don't think that's an awful lot of a problem for this article by now.  Engaging, though, is subtle and will take some deep thought.  Ideally, a reader who knows nothing about the subject will find the article an interesting and enjoyable read right from the start (the start being all they'd ever see if it didn't grab them there), and may quite possibly keep reading all the way through to the end.
* The plot summary, in particular, should probably be overhauled, to make it more... engaging.  It's now a long sequence of events open to criticism as rather meaningless to someone who hasn't either played the game or read the comic.  One might rewrite it based on a different strategy of presentation; simply cutting it down might work, but would probably require taking out anywhere from a quarter to a half of what's there, and the prioritizing involved would amount to rewriting anyway.  Possibly, the way to go about this could be to ask what about the plot one wants the reader to take away other than a sequence of events.  More deep thought.
* There is a specific problem with primary sources appearing too prominent in the discussion of themes.  Whether it's only an appearance doesn't change the need to address it in the article.  My guess at what's going on here is that Livingston included discussion about the comic with each strip, and citations of these meta-discussions look just like citations of the strips — which makes them look like original analysis.  If I'm reading that right, a solution that might redress the objections is to somehow change the forms of the citations of these meta-discussions so that it's obvious when reading the citation that it's citing a statement by Livingston about the strip, not citing the strip itself.  Maybe something like title "Commentary on Issue #053" instead of just "Issue #053"?  (Or maybe something other than "Commentary on" would be better?)
Pi zero (talk) 19:45, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: The only one I am able to address, and which I did was the 3rd one. I said "Notes on", just like in the other cases. About the prose, I feel kinda embarrassed, but ATM this is my level of English. I'll ask User:Tony1—I noticed he has extremely good English skills, which are rare even among natives. Maybe he'll be able to take some of his time to help us with Concerned. Diego_pmc Talk 19:57, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
thread_title:  Thoughts on the FAC 

message: I remember HL2:EP2 contained a reference to the Concerned Comic (warning, humor-spoiler: I think it was the section with the mechanics talking about escaping the dystopian job or whatever, someone was named Frohman and showed Freeman to the... something)...
Anyway, I'd add it myself, but I obviously don't remember it. And, if added, would it simply be put in a trivia section? How would it be worded? "Valve showed their appreciation for the Concerned comic by including an allusion to Concerned by naming a character".... or "Frohman makes a cameo appearance" or... well, what?
DEMONIIIK (talk) 02:28, 8 June 2010 (UTC)
replies: text: Unless there's some reliable source that talks about that, it should't be included in the article. Also, as you've said, it's pretty much just trivia. Diego_pmc Talk 09:14, 9 June 2010 (UTC)
thread_title:  Half-Life 2: Episode 2 reference/cameo/appearance/thing 

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thread_title:  External links modified 

message: Could you be more specific about the tone issues this article is suffering from? I don't really see the problem, but I'd like to see if I can fix it. ~Mable (chat) 08:12, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
replies: text: I suppose the main issue there was the "colorful" description of Frohman ("a hapless, lethally clumsy oaf") and the somewhat emotional phrase "... takes the player through ...". I hope this is better? ~Mable (chat) 09:59, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
thread_title:  Tone? 

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thread_title:  External links modified 

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thread_title:  External links modified 

message: :The following is a closed discussion of a requested move. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section on the talk page. Editors desiring to contest the closing decision should consider a move review after discussing it on the closer's talk page. No further edits should be made to this discussion. 
The result of the move request was: No consensus for now.  has suggested that an article on "concern" could be written, and he is the absolute king of creating articles on such topics, so it's highly likely that consensus will change once there is an actual primary topic to compare it to. In the meantime...   Red Slash 19:25, 7 June 2022 (UTC)
replies: text: Concerned →  – "Concerned" is an ambiguous title - the primary topic is Concern. Per WP:NATDAB, using "an alternative name that the subject is also commonly called" (a natural disambiguation) is preferred over a more correct but ambiguous title. casualdejekyll 19:02, 9 May 2022 (UTC)

text: OK, I admit that a disambiguation page cannot be a primary topic, but, well, yeah. There's probably a better phrasing for what I mean. casualdejekyll 19:06, 9 May 2022 (UTC)

text: Alternatively, I would also support a move to Concerned (webcomic) casualdejekyll 19:12, 9 May 2022 (UTC)
thread_title:  Requested move 9 May 2022