Talk:Tropical Storm Fay (2002)

message: It's pretty good so far, but there's a lot of organizational/grammar/spelling problems. For instance, declared is not spelled declaired. That's the main problem with the article. Good job overall. --Hurricanehink (talk) 18:21, 18 July 2006 (UTC)
replies: text: Also, please clean up the units. There is no need to use the dollar sign, saying "dollars", and using USD, as in $3.5 million dollars (2002 USD). Also, shouldn't "4 1/2 feet" be 4.5 feet? All in all, though, it's not a bad article. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk) 14:31, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: Done except for the Mexican damage which is very sparce. Juliancolton (talk) 14:39, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: Seek and ye shall find. There are plenty of sources from a proper Google search. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk) 14:47, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: Ah, didn't think to look it up in spanish. Well, I will go through later and translate it and see what I can find. Juliancolton (talk) 14:56, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: Darn, I got the translator to work, but I can't find anything in that soucre that says anything about Fay. Juliancolton (talk) 17:00, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: The first source mentions Fay's impact in Mexico under the heading "Provocan lluvias caos en Tamaulipas y NL". The rest of the sources also should have info on Fay. ♬♩ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:03, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: How's that? Better? Juliancolton (talk) 17:17, 31 January 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: Todo

message: It looks like some parts of this article (including the lead) need a total rewrite, and others need copy edited. More info is needed as well, apparently from the GAR above. I'll get to it.TheNobleSith (talk) 03:12, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
thread_title:  Re-Write and Copy Edit 

message: :GA review (see here for criteria)
#It is reasonably well written.
#:a (prose):  b (MoS): 
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#It is factually accurate and verifiable.
#:a (references):  b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR): 
#:: 
#It is broad in its coverage.
#:a (major aspects):  b (focused): 
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#It follows the neutral point of view policy.
#:Fair representation without bias: 
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#It is stable.
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Comments
* Might want to update the conversion from 2002 to 2007 dollars or just drop it entirely. 2002 is close enough in time that I'm not sure a conversion is needed.
* Definitely some overlinking going on. No need to link September (when it is by itself), Texas (three times!), Louisiana, Mississippi, Mexico.
* Storm history section, I'd like to see a year mentioned with the phrase "In the first few days of September..."
* Same section, "Gradually, the trough and associated low pressure...". says pressure here, but previous sentence has low pressure systems. One or more than one?
* Same section "During a flight later that day, ..." this sentence reads awkwardly, especially the later part. Consider rewording to make the meaning a bit more clear.
* Shouldn't you link the first occurance of wind shear, not the third? (Storm history, second paragraph)
* Preparations section, this is the first mention of Tropical Depression Six. Is that what was before it was named?
* Impact section, second paragraph, the "Peak rainfall throughout the area were mostly..." something seems off with the grammar there. Shouldn't it be "Peak rainfalls" or "area was"?
* The Bevan ref is lacking publisher information (current ref 2) Same for Franklin Discussion No. 5 (current ref 9)
* <S>The Franklin Discussion number 1 ref is lacking last access date (current ref 4)

*  What makes http://www.hurricanecity.com/ a reliable source?
* Current ref 21 is lacking publisher and last access date. Might be nice if you put in a tag in the template to mention it is in Spanish also.
I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on. Ealdgyth - Talk 14:32, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: Looks good! Passing it now. Ealdgyth - Talk 21:34, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: GA review

message: WP:Good article usage is a survey of the language and style of Wikipedia editors in articles being reviewed for Good article nomination.  It will help make the experience of writing Good Articles as non-threatening and satisfying as possible if all the participating editors would take a moment to answer a few questions for us, in this section please.  Would you like any additional feedback on the writing style in this article?  If you write a lot outside of Wikipedia, what kind of writing do you do?  Is your writing style influenced by any particular WikiProject or other group on Wikipedia?  At any point during this review, let us know if we recommend any edits, including markup, punctuation and language, that you feel don't fit with your writing style.  Thanks for your time. - Dan Dank55 (talk) 15:55, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: Sure, they all count :)  Wunderground.com is a great resource.  I don't see a NobleSith blog, which one is yours? - Dan Dank55 (talk) 19:24, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
thread_title:  Survey 

message: Would you like any additional feedback on the writing style in this article?
Sure, I always like to improve and learn.
If you write a lot outside of Wikipedia, what kind of writing do you do?
Mostly essays for school and such. I also write weather blogs on the wunderground.com .
 
Is your writing style influenced by any particular WikiProject or other group on Wikipedia?
I'm a member of Wikiproject Tropical Cyclones. I don't know if that counts.
TheNobleSith (talk) 16:31, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: Sure, they all count :)  Wunderground.com is a great resource.  I don't see a NobleSith blog, which one is yours? - Dan Dank55 (talk) 19:24, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: Response

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thread_title:  External links modified