Talk:Hypoestrogenism

message: Part 1: 
1) Do the group's edits substantially improve the article as described in the Wikipedia peer review "Guiding Framework"?
Yes, the group's edits did improve the article as described in guiding framework. The group added a lot more details about the subject by adding section of pathophysiology and updating treatments, s/sx and diagnosis. For example, the group made extensive edits to define hypogonadism, hypogonadotropic hypogonadism, and hypergonadotropic hypogonadism, all of which went previously undefined. The group has also added several reliable sources to cite their information. 
2) Has the group achieved its overall goals for improvement?
The group has achieved their overall goals. They have added a new pathophysiology section to the page. The diagnosis, treatment, and causes have more details written with reliable sources. The group successfully revised and improved this article.
K. Jung, UCSF Pharm.D. Candidate 2022 (talk) 06:54, 4 August 2020 (UTC)
replies: text: It does little good to run a plagiarism check when most journal articles are paywalled-- you have to actually read the sources in most cases.  SandyGeorgia (Talk)  01:59, 5 August 2020 (UTC)
thread_title: Group 14 Peer Review

message: Since when is menopause a “disease state”?  Is that intended to be premature menopause? SandyGeorgia (Talk)  03:20, 6 August 2020 (UTC)
replies: text: we did mean menopause, so I clarified it. Thanks. Ayangucsf (talk) 18:43, 6 August 2020 (UTC)
replies: text:   Yes, much better,  (look at this section in edit mode to see how to thread responses by indenting to the next level with colins).  SandyGeorgia (Talk)  18:46, 6 August 2020 (UTC)
thread_title:  Dubious 

message: Explanation needed for the relationship between estradiol and estrogen.  SandyGeorgia (Talk)  09:04, 6 August 2020 (UTC)
replies: text: Also, this. SandyGeorgia (Talk)  10:24, 6 August 2020 (UTC)
replies: text:  Do the changes work at Hypoestrogenism#Bone_health?  — Preceding unsigned comment added by Memdmarti (talk • contribs) 20:53, 21 August 2020 (UTC)
replies: text:  Much better now.  SandyGeorgia (Talk)  01:38, 1 September 2020 (UTC)

text: And, this. SandyGeorgia (Talk)  10:38, 6 August 2020 (UTC)

text: This is not a sentence, and even if the grammar is fixed, the concept needs better clarification in plain English.  SandyGeorgia (Talk)  17:46, 6 August 2020 (UTC)

text: This sentence is a snake that needs to be disentangled:
* Activated estrogen receptors also stimulate tissue proliferation in the vaginal walls and the formation of rugae, ridges formed by folding of the inner wall, aids in sexual stimulation by becoming lubricated, distended, and expanded.
what aids in sexual stimulation and what becomes lubricated?  estrogen receptors aid, or rugae aid?  There is something off with the grammar or the punctuation.  SandyGeorgia (Talk)  17:48, 6 August 2020 (UTC)
replies: text: Thank you for the note, this has been fixed. S. Xue, Future UCSF PharmD (talk) 18:11, 6 August 2020 (UTC)
thread_title:  Clarifications needed

message: The first occurrence of relevant terms should be linked, terms should be linked only once (at first occurrence, and WP:OVERLINKing of common terms (like yoga) should be avoided ... the article is still considerably underlinked wrt gyn and medical terminology. Here are some samples of both over and underlinking. SandyGeorgia (Talk)  10:00, 6 August 2020 (UTC)
replies: text: Hi  , thank you for keeping us updated with your edits and suggestions. We are currently working on it, and will get back to you Ntran49 (talk) 18:12, 6 August 2020 (UTC)
replies: text:  Ntran49 and SandyGeorgia, Parallel concern re disambiguation page: I understand using the link to primary ovarian insufficiency only once, but the article also used POI, a disambiguation page with 22 items. The choices were allude to a disambiguation page, link POI to  POI at all occurrences, or change POI to "primary ovarian insufficiency." I changed all POIs, except in the lead, to primary ovarian insufficiency. If it needs to be reverted, it is at Diff Memdmarti (talk) 13:31, 5 September 2020 (UTC)

text: I will start a new section below on this (the students haven’t edited for a month). There are more problems than just the linking. SandyGeorgia (Talk)  14:32, 5 September 2020 (UTC)
thread_title:  Linking needed 

message: The WP:LEAD should summarize text included in the body of the article. That is, any onformation in the lead should be already mentioned in the body. SandyGeorgia (Talk)  10:11, 6 August 2020 (UTC)
thread_title: Lead

message: Text that can be cited should not be removed just because it is lacking citation. . SandyGeorgia (Talk)  10:17, 6 August 2020 (UTC)
thread_title:  Removal of text 

message: The content here is jumbled, making general statements about low estrogen from sources that are about subsets of causes.  Cardiovascular statements sourced to articles about POI or even more specific, POI after cancer, are vut one example, there are others.  Please reflect sources more carefully, Wikipedia is a highly read website and source of medical information. SandyGeorgia (Talk)  11:06, 6 August 2020 (UTC)
thread_title: Jumbled 

message: just wanted to check if you are reading the talk page, since there has been no response on this page. The way Wikipedians build articles together is by using the talk page to communicate. Regards, SandyGeorgia (Talk)  18:03, 6 August 2020 (UTC)
replies: text: No problem, ; I just wanted to ping you all to make sure you were aware of how to use the talk page :)  Best regards, SandyGeorgia (Talk)  18:32, 6 August 2020 (UTC)
thread_title:  Pings 

message: I apologize for our lack of response. We looked at your contributions and talk page yesterday and fixed the article a little bit but never replied to any of your comments after that. We had a small Wikipedia tutorial from our school but are slowly figuring out all the tools and abbreviations Wikipedia has. Again, sorry for the lack of response and we will be more responsive in the future to make this article as high quality as possible. 
Vincent.Vu2 (talk) 18:28, 6 August 2020 (UTC)
replies: text: No problem, ; I just wanted to ping you all to make sure you were aware of how to use the talk page :)  Best regards, SandyGeorgia (Talk)  18:32, 6 August 2020 (UTC)
thread_title:  Pings Response 

message: thanks for fixing this; much better! I deleted this primary study once, but you have added re-added it. I saw that topic covered in one of the other secondary reviews, so secondary sources are available.  I could try to re-locate the review where I saw it mentioned, but you all would be able to find it faster than I can, as you have better library resources and have all the sources at hand.  SandyGeorgia (Talk)  18:51, 6 August 2020 (UTC)
replies: text: Sorry about that! I found the primary source mentioned in a meta-analysis which I have replaced the source with. S. Xue, Future UCSF PharmD (talk) 17:02, 7 August 2020 (UTC)
thread_title:  Primary study readded