Talk:Lightbulb joke/Archive 1

message: === Jokes Moved ===
I moved the bulk of the jokes. evrik 19:08, 24 October 2005 (UTC)
thread_title:  Wikibooks  JokeBook 

message: I moved the bulk of the jokes. evrik 19:08, 24 October 2005 (UTC)
thread_title:  Jokes Moved 

message: Jimbo Wales has announced that he will be deleting the Jokebook from Wikibooks within 24 hours.  See Wikibooks:Staff lounge. Uncle G 16:30, 14 November 2005 (UTC)
thread_title:  Deletion of the Jokebook 

message: Where should all those jokes go? evrik 21:04, 1 December 2005 (UTC)
thread_title:  Suggestions 

message: Given that most of the content here was moved to wikibooks and subsequently deleted from there, should it be added back here? -- Rick Block (talk) 05:28, 24 January 2006 (UTC)
thread_title:  content moved, then deleted 

message: The 'template' answer given in the introduction: Ten — one to hold the lightbulb and nine to turn the ladder around assumes the reader is familiar with screw-in light bulbs. It makes little sense to people used to a bayonet fitting. Markb 19:03, 8 December 2006 (UTC)
thread_title:  poor definition 

message: I don't think our goal should be to list many jokes here for the following reasons:
* googling for "lighbulb joke" gives plenty of sites that create huge lists and do it better than we can hope to
* googling for ""how many <noun>" lightbulb finds all jokes involving <noun> if there are any (and there are for most words)
* an encyclopedia article needs to be something different from a list
So I suggest we take out most jokes, basically rip every list section into a separate article (if they are needed at all) - lightbulb joke (Star Trek), lightbulb jokes (jobs), lightbulb jokes (nation) or just stuff them all into List of lightbulb jokes. This article should cover the joke in general, giving the history (the origins of the joke would be very interesting), reasons for its prevalence, similar jokes, overview of variations, how it is spread, what are the general characteristics, etc. Paranoid 20:32, 30 Jul 2004 (UTC)
thread_title:  A change in direction 

message: There is now a b:Joke book on Wikibooks.  Please consider whether parts of this article should moved and/or copied to that project.  Rossami (talk) 05:28, 1 Dec 2004 (UTC)
thread_title:  Wikibooks 

message: === The lightbulb picture ===
Is there any point to the acctual picture of the lightbulb?
None that I can see, but it is quite fun. In keeping with the subject of the article, and all that. Kvetch 18:30, 17 January 2006 (UTC)
thread_title:  Editing & Formatting of this page 

message: Is there any point to the acctual picture of the lightbulb?
None that I can see, but it is quite fun. In keeping with the subject of the article, and all that. Kvetch 18:30, 17 January 2006 (UTC)
thread_title:  The lightbulb picture 

message: I'm not sure whether it's meaningful to debate the wording of the original urtext... but here goes. The article says:
The generally acknowledged "original" goes as follows:
:Q: How many (insert chosen group here) does it take to change a lightbulb?
:A: Ten - one to hold the lightbulb and nine to turn the ladder around.
But when I heard it (and early variants), the answer was phrased as
:A: Ten: one to hold the bulb and nine to turn the ladder."
That is, bulb (rather than lightbulb) and turn the ladder (not turn the ladder around.).
Yes, that's right: to me the canonical form of the joke always uses the word "lightbulb" in the question, but just "bulb" in the answer.
These things have a sort of poetic cadence to them, and it stopped me and made me blink, so I thought I'd at least mention it. What do others thing?
(I would further speculate that there was also a canonical target group for the original joke, but I don't think I'll go there.) Dpbsmith 13:59, 11 Dec 2003 (UTC)
thread_title:  Hold the ''lightbulb?'' or just hold the ''bulb?'' 

message: There's a hell of alot of repetition in these jokes, I must have read the same one 3 times at one point. Furthermore a few are the original joke (or one of them) told with a specific nationality. Anyone object to some major housecleaning here? Plus there are a few that are pretty embarrassingly pathetic too. There should be some standards. -R. fiend 19:15, 14 Jun 2005 (UTC)
thread_title:  Repetition 

message: I have to admit I don't get some of the jokes. Okay, I don't expect to get a bunch of the Trekkie ones and the like, but I'm talking about some of these musical instrument ones. Admittedly I don't play clarinet, trumpet, violin, etc., but am I missing something or are these jokes not funny? -R. fiend 06:53, 10 July 2005 (UTC)
thread_title:  Huh? 

message: Doing Google searches for many of them turns up no non-Wikipedia hits.  It seems as though well-intentioned individuals are attempting to fill out the joke collection with whatever jokes they can think of for an unrepresented group.  While I understand that it is possible for jokes to exist in the wild without being detectable by Google, what are the chances? PaulStansifer 21:05, 30 Jan 2005 (UTC)
replies: text: Um, these are jokes; they aren't "real". If someone made up a joke and a punchline then it's by definition a joke. I fail to see how one can be fake. (now unfunny...well, that's a different story.) -R. fiend 19:17, 14 Jun 2005 (UTC)
thread_title:  Ugh!  Many of these jokes are fake! 

message: Surrealists - Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? 
A: Fish. 
How is it that this is the ONLY correct version of this joke? If you said:
Surrealists - Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? 
A: Aircraft carrier
you would be shouted down by earnest people telling you you'd got it wrong - which is a bit, ahem, surreal, really ...
Not that I am proposing any change. This is a random musing of a sort which is probably illegal and hotly to be discouraged. -- Nevilley
:"Fish" is inherently funnier. Anyway, surrealists don't just choose images at random even if it sometimes looks like it, so you can't "improve" the joke by substituting a random word.  - Ceci n'est pas Lee M 01:25, 7 Nov 2003 (UTC)
thread_title:  Surrealists 

message: How about adding this one :-):
*Q: How many Wikipedians does it take to change the lightbulb article?
*A: 1, but about 15 edit conflicts.
-fonzy (It's terribly awful I know, but hey most of these jokes on the page are.)
:Haha ! Jay 12:03, 8 Nov 2003 (UTC)
thread_title:  Wikipedians 

message: Just saw this: 
*Q: How many Newton users does it take to change a lightbulb?
*A. Foux! There to eat lemons, axe gravy soup.
To save people from having to follow the link, it's from a page about Feet of Clay, which has this exchange:
:'I think I'll write it in my notebook, if you don't mind,' said Vimes.
:'Oh, well, if you prefer, I can recognize handwriting,' said the imp proudly. ?I?m quite advanced.'
:Vimes pulled out his notebook and held it up. 'Like this?' he said.
:The imp squinted for a moment. 'Yep,' it said. That's handwriting, sure enough. Curly bits, spiky bits, all joined together. Yep. Handwriting. I'd recognize it anywhere.'
:'Aren't you supposed to tell me what it says?'
:The imp looked wary. 'Says?' it said. 'It's supposed to make noises?' 
Not a lightbulb joke, but funny. -- Jim Regan 20:52, 13 Sep 2003 (UTC)
thread_title:  Apple Newton users, Feet of Clay 

message: And what the original message entered by Newton users is supposed to be? Paranoid 14:34, 28 Jul 2004 (UTC)
thread_title: Newton users

message: From the article:
:It is vacuously true that 0 mathematicians can change a lightbulb.
How so? It's vacuously true that all of them have the skills needed to change a lightbulb, but I don't think they can actually do it. And the k=1 case is false too, if it's interpreted as \forall x \in \mbox{Mathematicians}, \left\{x\right\} \mbox{can change a lightbulb}. As a counterexample consider wheelchair-bound mathematicians. -- BenRG 22:58, 23 Sep 2003 (UTC)
thread_title:  "vacuously true", mathematicians 

message: "The reader may legitimately wonder if the author of the above joke gets invited to many parties."
How is the line relevant to the article ? Isn't it POV if you look at it one way. Jay 15:17, 28 Sep 2003 (UTC)
replies: text: Above line has been removed. Jay 04:10, 7 Nov 2003 (UTC)
thread_title:  ...gets invited to many parties 

message: How about this completely pointless lightbulb joke?:
*Q: How many Englishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
*A: English lightbulbs don't screw in, they use bayonet fittings.
It may not be funny, but it is accurately observed......
Lee M 00:20, 7 Nov 2003 (UTC)
thread_title:  Englishmen 

message: "... and the Indians target the Pakistanis." -- can the contributor show me an example of such a lighbulb joke ? I haven't heard any, but if they exist I'd like to know how prevalent they are. Jay 12:03, 8 Nov 2003 (UTC)
thread_title:  Indians and Pakistanis 

message: *Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
*A: Just one. He lies on the floor and the room spins around him.
*Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
*A: Two, naturally, but I'll be damned if I know how they got in there!
*Q: How many Star Trek crew members does it take to change a light bulb?
*A: None: Scotty doesn't have the power, Cap'n, Bones is a doctor, not an electrician, and Spock would be busy analysing the logically likely causes of the unexpected malfunction in the previous globular incandescent illuminatory device.
thefamouseccles
I heard:
*Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
*A: Six. One to change it and five to brag about how they could've done better.
Lduperval 20:04, 11 Dec 2003 (UTC)
thread_title:  more versions 

message: Hey guys, it's not just computer geeks reading Wikipedia. Do we really need Trekkie, Debian, Usenet and Programming jokes on this page?
:Not a simple question. Personally I think the first three groups have very limited interest to most, but I like the programming jokes (just as I like programming, though it's not my job now), so I am clearly biased. Objectively, may be it's better to move these subculture-specific jokes into a separate article - unless we aim provide a comprehensive collection, there is little reason to provide jokes other than the general ones. Paranoid 16:16, 13 Oct 2004 (UTC)
thread_title:  geeks 

message: I don't have the details onhand, but in Mercedes Lackey's "Fortress of Frost and Fire" (part of the Bard's Tale series of books), there are two jokes made about lighting a candle IIRC.
Q: How many druids does it take to light a candle?
A: One to light and one not to light it. (Druids in fantasy being seen as creatures of balance)
Q: How many priests does it take to light a candle?
A: Eight. One to light it and seven to chant the proper formulas.
Someone with a copy of the book onhand could add these, assuming they're not superfluous. (The second joke is essentially echoed over many professions, only being unique here due to the attempt to retrofit it to medieval times.) -Fuzzy 14:47, 7 Feb 2005 (UTC)
thread_title:  Lightbulb joke variants in literature 

message: :Matlab - How many Matlab programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
:* One - Matlab can do anything. Just specify the problem clearly in an Excel spreadsheet (Matlab can read and extract data from Excel). Next you have two basic choices: the inorganic solution, or the organic solution. If you choose the inorganic option Matlab has excellent programming toolboxes for the development of imaging and servo control software, and B-spine functions for design specification. If you choose the organic solution Matlab supports tools for Bioinformatics, functional magnetic resonance brain imaging and neural network modeling. Once you have completed the design and construction of your device / life form, simply instruct it to change the bulb. However, if you are presently unsure about which option to choose, Matlab has excellent tools for mathematical modeling, symbolic processing and stochastic simulation. If you need further help you may visit the Matlab website where you can browse software developed by users just like you. Moreover, if you experience technical difficulties do not hesitate to contact their helpful support personnel.
Hmmm... why is this funny? Yes, I know, most of the jokes on this article are awful, but this one is longer and more un-fun than the others. Plus, this stinks of advertising to me... --Fibonacci 07:37, 18 Feb 2005 (UTC)
replies: text: I've only had peripheral exposure to Matlab, but it's one of those pieces of software which is tremendously powerful, or so they'll keep telling you, but the official documentation is scant. Instead, you wind up learning how to do things on an apprenticing system of sorts, working with colleagues. -Fuzzy 12:41, 18 Feb 2005 (UTC)
thread_title:  Matlab 

message: Let's face it, this joke sucks.  I'm deleting it.
The Germans - Q: How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Vas?? Vat do you mean?!?!? Vun, nein?? Iss diss eine joke or somesink???!!!
Have a great day, God bless.   -Jon2857092 23:03, 28 Mar 2005 (UTC)
thread_title:  Germany 

message: More jokes, in dog versions, for the transwiki (which implies I like the idea of listing them on a transwiki, not here):
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned
out bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
German Shepherd: I’ll change it as soon as I’ve led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven’t missed any, and make just one more
perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the
situation.
Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I’m sorry, but I don’t see a light
bulb!
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the
dark.
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or “We don’t need no stinking light bulb.”
Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little
circle…
Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By
the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?
Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real
question is:
“How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a
massage?”
ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE
STAFF!
Source: Dog Eat Doug
--zandperl 14:08, 30 August 2005 (UTC)
thread_title:  Dog versions 

message: Dog versions added in jokebookevrik 18:38, 25 October 2005 (UTC)
thread_title: Moved 

message: Can someone please verify that the picture of the lightbulb is free licensed?  I'd hate to think that it was infringing on some undiscovered Mapplethorpe.  (since we're on the topic of lightbulb "jokes" - this was only fitting.  Sam Freedom 09:28, 7 November 2005 (UTC)
thread_title:  Image Issues? 

message: After reading this article, I was curious about the Finn and their lightbulb jokes, so I googled for it, and I found this http://www.dcult.com/Jokes/Lightbulb_joke.php
I see that, see the article, and I think to myself.. WTF?! --Lacrymology 04:53, 18 January 2006 (UTC)
thread_title:  dcult.com 

message: How does it contribute to the article? -- (questioner who didn't sign)
:It demonstrates that lightbulbs with a screw fitting exist to those who have only seen lightbulbs with a bayonet fitting. Such people might get the "change a light bulb" jokes but not understand the "screw in a light bulb" jokes. -- Derek Ross | Talk 15:50, 30 June 2006 (UTC)
thread_title:  Lightbulb image 

message: I can POV myself to death by saying that this is the one article that Wikipedia needs very much. Are jokes not allowed in Wiki? I sincerely hope they are, if only because they provide light relief, and are a much-needed element of daily life. Whoever started this article deserves a pat on the back. andreasegde 17:12, 22 July 2006 (UTC)
thread_title:  Have a laugh 

message: Should we mention that the joke it about an edison screw lightbulb, not a bayonet mount? All the fittings in my house are bayonets, so it took me years to get these kinds of jokes. 
ah, here's one;
Q: How many thick people did it take to screw in a B22 lightbulb?
A: Over 1000 so far, they've still not succeeded yet!
I'm not a comic by trade...
82.13.83.244 01:31, 30 August 2006 (UTC)
replies: text: Even if you put in a B22 bulb, you still have to twist it/screw it. --212.241.67.98 11:28, 17 September 2006 (UTC)
thread_title:  The proverbial lightbulb 

message: This really happened:
:How many idiots does it take to change a lightbulb?
:How many?
:Twelve. One to hold the lightbulb and ten to turn the ladder.
:That makes eleven.
:One, two... Shut up!
--Jnelson09 19:14, 18 November 2006 (UTC)
thread_title:  A variation 

message: I remember months ago this article was a compromise between an endless list of jokes and the barebones current version in response to the deletion nomination.  It had a few (very few) examples of each of the general types of variations on the joke, and some limited but insightful analysis.  It should get back to something like that.--ragesoss 05:54, 11 December 2006 (UTC)
replies: text: Agreed. Maybe a revert back several months is in order. -R. fiend 22:50, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

text: Seeing the current status of this page, it seems that it has again reverted back to an endless list of jokes that do not together comprise an encyclopedic article...what's the solution? Clarkefreak ∞ 05:16, 13 February 2007 (UTC)
thread_title:  Getting back to a useful article that isn't an endless list of jokes 

message: I deleted the text about which groups of ethnicities are the unfortunate subjects of jokes by which other groups, because it's unsourced.  Although the rest of the article also needs sourcing, the rest is not controversial; this paragraph is just a long list of racism allegations.  See this diff for the removal: . —Quarl (talk) 2006-12-28 06:05Z
: Well done. Somebody seems to have put it in again without discussing here; I have re-removed it. –Henning Makholm 19:18, 25 March 2007 (UTC)
thread_title:  Who-derises-whom text 

message: Why is there a Black joke at the end of the Nationality section??? —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 128.54.159.140 (talk) 11:59, 10 February 2007 (UTC)
thread_title:  Black joke 

message: This is one of the most standard, common jokes, in English, in the US (late 20th century).  Is it as traditional/common in the rest of the world?  In other languages?-69.87.193.116 13:26, 18 April 2007 (UTC)
thread_title:  world-wide? 

message: The article has been edited down to the point of not making sense.  It mentions the word "screw", but leaves out the context:  the phrase "screw in a light bulb" can replace "change a light bulb" in the US -- the "screw in" form would actually be more natural language here (despite the silly lurking sexual mis-understanding).-69.87.193.116 13:26, 18 April 2007 (UTC)
thread_title:  screw in a light bulb 

message: There is no uniformity as to the target of derision: in America it has been the Polish people (in Texas, Aggies – students of Texas A&M University – are often the target), while Poles poke fun at Russians and Americans. In Great Britain it is the Irish who are lampooned, which is reciprocated, (in Wales it is the "Cardis"). The Australians and New Zealanders make fun of each other. The Canadians target their own Newfoundlanders, or "newfies". The jokes are by no means limited to English-speaking countries. For example, the Russians tell the same joke about the Moldovans, Chukchi and Ukrainians. The Ukrainians, in turn, tell it about Russians; the Spanish make fun of the inhabitants of Lepe, while the Colombians make fun of the inhabitants of Nariño, and the rest of the Spanish-speaking population laugh at the Galicians; the Brazilians mock the Portuguese; the Portuguese mock the Brazilians; the Norwegians laugh at their Swedish neighbours, and conversely, the Swedes tell the same joke about Norwegians; the Germans target the East Frisians or the Austrians; The Dutch and French target their Belgian neighbours, the Costa Ricans joke about foreigners from Nicaragua, and the Indians target the Pakistanis. The Finns target everyone, including themselves.
Can we introduce any more generalizations and stereotypes? Seriously, this whole section ought to be removed. -- Mike 14:41, 7 May 2007 (UTC)
replies: text: It has been removed several times, but resurfaced after an anonymous reversal to an old non-consensus version of the article. I have re-reverted to a version without this paragraph, and also without a long non-encyclopedic collection of individual lightbulb jokes. –Henning Makholm 16:39, 7 May 2007 (UTC)
thread_title:  "Various ethnic versions" 

message: You guys have managed to make a barely funny joke into a completely tedious article. Congratulations. 70.231.158.36 (talk) 02:45, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: Thanks! 's what we're here for. :-) - ∅ (∅), 05:09, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
thread_title:  Older Discussions 

message: #Any of them, but it will probably get reverted.
#Lightbulb is protected due to persistent vandalism.
#That's original research and hence not allowed.
#Light bulbs are not notable. This page has been marked for deletion.
-- 92.40.220.176 (talk) 18:24, 11 July 2008 (UTC)
thread_title:  How many Wikipedians does it take to change a lightbulb? 

message: I sympathize with the statement about Internet joke lists that favor volume over humorous sensibility. But this article is not the place for such assertions of opinion. Is there another way to make the point (if it's worth making)? Citing an authority would work. — ℜob C. alias ᴀʟᴀʀoʙ 00:31, 10 December 2008 (UTC)
thread_title:  Neutrality disputed 

message: Re: diff, of course this is not a joke collection. Of the countless lightbulb jokes out there, I found a select few to illustrate basic types. They're not just listed; each joke is accompanied with a reason. The current version of the article does not do this, and makes unsourced claims about how most lightbulb jokes tend to be. The article benefits by actually talking about different types of lightbulb jokes rather than merely speculating about its original structure. –Pomte 06:41, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
thread_title:  Joke collection 

message: A "general structure" of the joke is a generalization, i.,e., a conclusion. therefore it must be referenced. Otherwise it constitutes original research, inadmissible in wikipedia. Henning, judging from your other contributions/edit summaries, I see you know the rule. - Altenmann >t 20:44, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
replies: text: My revision avoids this issue. –Pomte 18:01, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
thread_title:  "General structure" 

message: How about the play on the word "screw":
 Q: How many flies does it to screw in a lightbulb?
 A: Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.
Helluvamatt (talk) 04:25, 19 January 2010 (UTC)
replies: text: I have restored mention of this type of wordplay. –Pomte 11:29, 2 February 2010 (UTC)
thread_title:  Screw 

message: This is clean-cut original research when you write some statement and then supply a joke. YOur reference is for the joke, but not for the statemnt it illustrates. For example, please provide a reference for the statement: The joke is often used to suggest that some groups follow processes that are Byzantine or unnecessarily elaborate. - Altenmann >t 16:44, 2 February 2010 (UTC)
replies: text: At least some of those statements are supported by the sources, even if they don't have superscript numbers beside them. I restored and cited the ones that are immediately obvious, though I don't have access to JSTOR etc. anymore so maybe I'll be able to look into them later. –Pomte 06:23, 4 February 2010 (UTC)
replies: text: Thanks. - Altenmann >t 21:53, 4 February 2010 (UTC)
thread_title:  Original research 

message: We should add the genertic outline of the joke perhaps?
"How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task?" 
"A finite number: one to perform the task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question."
i belive this would greatly enhance the quality of the article? anyone?
--Palijer (talk) 15:29, 27 April 2010 (UTC)
replies: text: Few punchlines involve "one to perform the task", they're usually more direct than that. The article already explains that "Generally, the punch line answer highlights a stereotype  of the target group.", which seems more accurate. --McGeddon (talk) 16:09, 27 April 2010 (UTC)
thread_title:  General Outline 

message: Amusingly, the (current) picture is of a lightbulb that likely couldn't be screwed in with the 'spinning ladder' technique as it is hanging from a wire and not secured in a mount with an Edison  screw. Any other pictures that could be used instead?  —Preceding unsigned comment added by 4.254.82.87 (talk) 19:59, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
replies: text: The temptation to change the caption to "A lightbulb, yesterday" is almost overwhelming...Mr Larrington (talk) 10:34, 3 June 2010 (UTC)
thread_title:  About the picture...