Talk:Redhouse Yacht Club

message: I have written to the 2005 Commodore of the Club asking whether he has additional independent source materials. --Kevin Murray 23:14, 28 January 2007 (UTC)
thread_title: Further Information

message: User: Bridgeplayer has suggested that the article in its present form is unencyclopedic.  I tend to agree that there is too much detail.  What is important and what is chatter?  --Kevin Murray 23:16, 28 January 2007 (UTC)
replies: text: I think the proposed trimmed article is too short, as the trimmed data contained too much support for notability.   — Jeff G. (talk|contribs) 13:31, 30 January 2007 (UTC)
thread_title: Proposed Change of Content

message: Jeff, In this case I've no problem with putting the notes under references.  Sometimes there are more bona fide sources than are practical to include in footnotes, so I divide into two sections Notes and Bibliography, where I think that the formeer should be includedin the latter, but this is sometimes misperceived as redundant.  Yesterday there was a glitch in the notes not appearing so I put in a biblio, but then found the glitch in the notes (ommitted "/" in the last note).  No worries!  --Kevin Murray 13:41, 29 January 2007 (UTC)
replies: text: Thanks for fixing that, I fixed it too, but my edit conflicted with yours.   — Jeff G. (talk|contribs) 13:31, 30 January 2007 (UTC)
thread_title:  References versus Notes 

message: I've been meaning to get back here to do a fix.  Nelson Mandella Bay (NMB) is a term that describes the greater metropolitan area around Port Elizabeth, but is not a geographic feature.  The Bay is propperly called Algoa Bay, so my statement that the river is a tributary to NMB is inaccurate.  So we probably want to work in the explanation wihtout overly dwelling on it in the intro.  See below:
Nelson Mandela Bay, an excellent value-for-money-family-fun-in-the-sun-holiday destination, named after Nelson Mandela - humanitarian, freedom fighter and world icon of peace - is located 763 km east of Cape Town, is regarded as the "official" gateway to the scenic Eastern Cape Province and the world renowned Garden Route and is sometimes referred to (by the people who know her best) as the "friendly city" or the "water sport capital of Africa" 
Nelson Mandela Bay, home to Port Elizabeth, Uitenhage and Despatch is the only metropolitan area that was allowed by the former president to bear his name. By adopting his name, the metro strives to align itself with the "spirit of freedom" eminent in the life and life-long philosophy of this great man. 
The estimated population of Nelson Mandela Bay comprises over 1, 5 million, making it South Africa's fifth largest city in terms of population and the second largest in terms of area. 
Situated on the shores of the Indian Ocean, overlooking Algoa Bay, this bustling seaport city flaunts an atmosphere of relaxed year-round fun and excitement. Warm, dry Summers and mild Winter temperatures entice water sport lovers to Algoa Bay throughout the year. The breathtaking seashore boasts a perfect combination of warm water, protected beaches and invigorating sea breezes. Here you will find some of the world's best sailing venues, first-rate scuba diving with colourful coral species, beautiful reefs and shipwrecks, near perfect conditions for wind-surfing, angling, snorkelling, kite-surfing, fly-fishing and canoeing. 
--Kevin Murray 20:18, 6 February 2007 (UTC)
replies: text: OK, I'll leave it with you to do this, I've got some othr tasks to do. Bridgeplayer 20:34, 6 February 2007 (UTC)
thread_title: While were at it

message: * "The Redhouse Yacht Club (RYC) is a yacht club."  Is the name unclear? --Kevin Murray 20:34, 6 February 2007 (UTC)
replies: text: No, but there needs to be a structure to dab yacht club without linking words in the title. Bridgeplayer 20:37, 6 February 2007 (UTC)
replies: text: Fixed. Also fixed the Bay. Bridgeplayer 20:45, 6 February 2007 (UTC)
replies: text: I think that good writing should take precedence over good wiki --Kevin Murray 21:08, 6 February 2007 (UTC)
thread_title: Redundancy

message: As written: The Redhouse Yacht Club (RYC) is amongst the oldest yacht clubs in South Africa,[1] a location for large dinghy races, and with a training program which has recently produced international champion sailors.
I would suggest: The Redhouse Yacht Club (RYC), which is among the oldest yacht clubs in South Africa,[1] hosts large dinghy races, and offers a training program that has recently produced international champion sailors.
* I don't like "offers" that much.  "Amongst" sounds wrong to my ear, but that may be a cultural issue.
* Also we may want to link to dinghy, but to dinghy racing or dinghy sailing since dinghy is pertinent to the utility craft.
* changed which to that to avoid over whiching
--Kevin Murray 21:09, 6 February 2007 (UTC)
thread_title: Grammar & Style