Talk:Shoe fetishism/Archive 1

message: I am moving the following here, as I think it is original reasearch: 
Shoe dangling occurs when a lady sits down, crosses one leg over the other, slips her heel from her shoe and lets the shoe dangle from her toes. Often she will swing her foot so that the shoe also swings. Many men find the sight of this to be erotic and sexually arousing. Some females dangle their shoes to be flirty.
:I'm putting (most) of it back: see just about any of the 13,500 Google hits for the exact phrase "shoe dangling" for corroboration. -- Karada 16:42, 28 April 2006 (UTC)
thread_title: Removing stuff

message: I could find nothing in support of one obscure line in the Songs of Solomon being a reference to shoe fetishism.  If anyone can find a reputable source for this feel free to put it back in the article. Frithjh 04:23, 28 November 2006 (UTC)
thread_title:  Shoe Fetish in bible 

message: Is sock fetish also shoe fetishism? —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Energman (talk • contribs) 21:23, 7 December 2006 (UTC)
thread_title:  Socks 

message: this is a somewhat minor article, and probably doesn't require it's own article--HoneymaneHeghlu meH QaQ jajvam 20:27, 24 February 2007 (UTC)
thread_title:  merge to [[List of fetishes]]? 

message: It seems to me that the term has been adopted to describe someone who compulsively buys/collects shoes. There should probably be a section to cover this. Any thoughts? -Etafly 04:56, 9 April 2007 (UTC)
replies: text: A brief mention — perhaps a sentence distinguising this colloquial use from genuine sexual fetishism, like "the term has been adopted to describe someone who compulsively buys/collects shoes" — would be very appropriate. Would help to have a citation tho. / edgarde 16:35, 9 April 2007 (UTC)
thread_title:  A non-sexual fixation among women 

message: Why does shoeplay redirect here? This article doesn't mention shoeplay (which is not always sexual). As I recall there was a shoeplay article (and quite a good one aswell), but evidently something has happened to eradicate all trace of it. Does someone care to enlighten me as to what happened to it? 81.79.255.76 12:29, 7 August 2007 (UTC)
thread_title:  Shoeplay redirects here? 

message: Disclaimer;
As for any experiment, if you should choose to try this or experiment with any of the situations noted in this material it is at your own risk as a mature adult.   Be warned that if you try this, and you enjoy it you did so by your own choosing.  If you already had even the slightest attraction to shoes and boots, you could be looking at locking yourself mentally into a life long fetish.  Be careful with this, not all fetishists develop reasonable behavior that includes partners and social encounters outside of their fetish.  This can become a problem for some people and there are fetishists who have developed antisocial behaviors.   It is not our responsibility nor will we assume any responsibility for what any individual decides to do, try, or become as a result of reviewing this very specific and concise research material that includes details of how a fetish develops, what they feel, and how they do what they do and portrays some of what we might call the kinkier sides of this fetish.   Know that even the more extreme portrayals were written by people who were not hurt by their fantasy or games and that in order to write the material they did not carry it to a damaging extreme.   Also note that for most who have discussed their fetish it wasn’t your average Payless type cheap shoes that excited most of them.  For most, it takes a lot more than your everyday not so erotic woman's shoe to get things focused, it takes a shoe with style, fashion, some good wear lines a great soft leather lining, etc.  We do not endorse or condone any improper or illegal activity in the implementation of this fetish.  We know that good shoes are expensive, go to a major city thrift store and buy them if you can’t get them anywhere else or if you don’t currently have a partner who wears them.  If you get caught with your neighbors or a friends shoes don’t expect them to understand and don’t intend to use us as your reason for trying them on.  All of these activities are those that are at your own risk.  We all know right from wrong and any risk you decide to take is at your own cost.  It may just be a pair of shoes to a fetishist, but you would be surprised the reaction a found fetishist can create among the unenlightened or a partner or their family who does not understand this behavior.   Tolerance is not the biggest commodity among what we call civilized people.   
Introduction;
I have read numerous books which include some discussion of the subject of shoes and boots and fetish behavior.   This certainly is the type of fetish that creates some very interesting responses.  Some of those responses are less than desirable and reflect a lack of understanding, others are quite positive and show a more mature understanding of how some behaviors develop.  Most of all there is very little discussion at all on the subject of shoe fetishes and it is generally left hidden behind closed doors much as gay behavior was prior to the change in attitude allowing many to come out of the closet.  
There are numerous observations, details, extrapolations, and word pictures I have included in this book which are done as best as I could make them, most are usually quite short.  I wrote this compilation for those who do not have, nor do they understand this fetish and also for those who share this fetish and have felt alone and isolated, or are just interested in what others are doing.   Most non fetishists, mostly psych writers, claim to understand the fixation on the fetish yet most seem to really fall short seeing the depth of emotion some share, they see it more as object play.    However, what else could you expect when someone writes about something that they have never experienced and can not really understand.   
Generally the writers that are the farthest off are generally conservative female psychologists trying to discuss male behavior and shoe fetishist behavior from a limited perspective.   That is kind of like a male trying to understand what it feels like to be a woman or to have a woman’s orgasm.  Can’t happen!  Another comparison might be a lot like a heterosexual writing about gay life style, or a lesbian discussing heterosexual experiences without ever having them.  Well I am not going to claim to have an understanding of all behavior or all fetishes, but I am going to focus my writing exclusively on a subject that I have studied, understand and share, shoe and boot fetish behavior.   I will not challenge you by claiming to understand every aspect of fetishistic behavior, or for that matter all the aspects of every individual that has developed a shoe and boot fetish, but I do have something many of the other researchers who have spoken on this subject do not have, and that is, I am an active heterosexual that also has a very, very active and ongoing lifelong shoe and boot fetish.   On this subject, and when it comes to my perceptions, I would like to think that through my real life experiences that I probably know more about what I am talking about than most of the researchers I have read over the years, who, quite frankly, do not get it, have not tried it, and really don’t understand what it is like to in simple English, try on a pair of hot shoes.
 
As for experience and credentials my fetish certainly opens the door.  It might be considered a middle of the road shoe and boot fetish.  That is it does not go to the point it excludes normal relationships or other sexual activity.   That’s not to say I don’t ever, enjoy a pair of erotic shoes or boots without the wearer, I certainly can and do, quite often.   If I did not, that would probably miss the point of what makes a shoe fetishist a fetishist.  Although, shoes are an important part of every fetishists life for some it can be exclusive and isolating, but it need not be, and for others it is not.  With great sadness I have also noted through my research that those at the extreme that focus on the fetish and their needs alone probably have great difficulty with their social skills and perhaps even more so in securing and retaining a partner.  However, the good news is that many fetishists with open minds, reasonable activities, and open minded partners are able to develop mutually beneficial sound relationships.    It would seem that a good motto that extends to perhaps all behavior and especially to fetish behavior is the Golden Rule.  Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you.  Relationships must be a win win situation for everyone no matter what their preferences, fetish or not.   If you forget that a mutual relationship is mutually beneficial in order to share joys than what you will get, is what you give, nothing.  
Interestingly, I have found, discussed, and shared my fetish with many people both male and female over many years and I have learned much from those, who like myself, find an unusually erotic power in shoes and boots.  Some enjoy looking at shoes and boots, some enjoy wearing, some touching and feeling them, while others enjoy watching people walking in them, others like being able to buy them both new and used, then there are some who enjoy them in their sex life to the full exclusion and replacement of what one might call normal heterosexual or homosexual behavior.   This books purpose is to try to open a door in the mind of psychology to a different world and one that, like being a homosexual, does not just happen to turn on and off just because we might wish it to.   If you happen to be one of those people who has a shoe fetish it is probably not something you decided to just do one day, it was probably always a part of your life and probably discovered and founded early in your childhood when you began your sexuality.  As for mine, that is when it began.  In my case, I developed my fetish prior to my first experience, and it eventually led to my first experience being with shoes.  As a self proclaimed expert on the subject, and in my view, also after I had my first heterosexual experience I understood the reason why my fetish endured even after a heterosexual encounter.   Don’t get me wrong I loved it, but I also learned that getting on top of a shoe and penetrating it was very close to sex with a woman.  I also learned, at least in my case, that I was going to use my fetish to replace self masturbation and not women.   Let me clarify a difference, some men hold a shoe in their hand and do the shoe just like they were manually masturbating with their hand holding the shoe and their member inside of it manipulating it until orgasm.    Not me, I set them on the bed one in front of the other make oral love to one while I get on top and penetrate the other.   The only difference between what I do and hetero sex is there is no woman but a shoe under me.  
I also  discovered if the fetishists choice of shoes was carefully made, and the design was physically hot and erotic, and it was designed well for penetrating shoe sex, (not all shoes make the grade for sex) the physical feeling inside of a shoe felt very much like the inside of a woman.   So substitution for hetero sex is certainly a consideration for this fetish, probably much more than masturbation.   In my case I am certain of this.  Giving up shoes would be like giving up hetero sex, why would anyone even consider giving up something that hurts no one and feels so gosh darn good.   That is why this fetish is also persistent as a life long practice.   No one wants to be cured of something that does not need curing and feels so good.  However, if any practice leads to destructive or anti social behavior, I might then agree that perhaps this does need professional intervention and perhaps counseling.  
However, we will consider this more as we move forward.  
It will not be my purpose to justify or to defend having a fetish but to share an insight as to the experiences of those who share what many call a diversion, as well as, to review, compare, and contrast actual fetish experience and look at links to the theories proposed in the materials that have been set in place, some since the turn of the century.  Most probably written by those who have never experienced a fetish activity.
There once was a television series with an episode where it was discovered that a Priest had a collection of women’s shoes.  He was treated with disdain, ousted from his job, and scrutinized by the legal system for having the shoes.  He had bought them a garage sales and resale shops and by mail but that did not mater, the town was after him.   Today behavior like that hardly makes sense when we look at priests.  Wouldn’t you rather, any day, prefer a priest doing shoes in the privacy of their bedroom to pedophilic behavior?  I would, and it should probably have been considered a reasonable option for this priest to let off steam.  As a fetishist, I watched this show in silent horror with the understanding as to why I have remained so in the closet on this issue. 
On the other hand a few years later an add runs on TV that goes something like this.   “I want to touch you, I want to hug you, I want to love you, Feels so good, ,,,, (then a light giggle), I got them at Famous Footwear”.  This is followed by the statement and apparent company logo, “Shoe love is True Love”.  Certainly I would agree there are many ways to look at that advertisement, but clearly from a shoe fetishists view the world is changing when companies openly sell a quite form of sexuality in their shoe selection advertising.   The ad I am certain is targeted at woman loving their shoes and not a shoe fetishist loving her shoes.  However, it also sounds a lot like what a fetishist might think about shoes as well.   A different perspective but perhaps the fetishist takes it literally, the Ad probably  targets the figurative view.
    
Clearly, shoe fetish behavior is, and will probably remain, a subject that is not easily talked about, that is misunderstood by many, and from the look of the numerous web sites out there foot and shoe fetish behavior is much more common and widespread than anyone ever believed.   However, the comments on web sites continue to be cloaked in anonymity.  The reality may continue to be, at least for a while longer, that for those who enjoy and are excited about shoes, or any other fetish for that matter, it may continue to be something that most are not going to be able to easily admit or share with their friends and loved ones openly.  For now the shoe fetish remains, so to speak, in the closet.  When it comes to sexual behavior in our society, for the most part, more and more activities appear as more reasonable behavior between consenting adults than ever before.  Behavior entered into with all parties involved using free will and in privacy should hardly be a concern to others.  However, in this Puritanical society we continue to have difficulty openly considering or discussing many issues around human sexuality.  Thanks to people like Kinsey, we have opened the door to many sexual behaviors and alternatives but for many the shoe fetish may continue to be misunderstood and considered a questionable and unusual developed practice.   
Here is a list of a few topics I expect to consider as I write this book.  
•	Early experiences
•	Shoe fetish going solo
•	What is it about the fetish that makes it continue
•	Comparisons to intercourse
•	How powerful is this fetish
•	Fetish with women
•	My experience with women and this fetish
•	Fantasies of this fetish
•	Masturbation vs. Fetish
Much of it will be explained in the notes and through the use of very descriptive case stories that trey to create a word picture.  Having a fetish, it is unclear to me exactly how another might read this material or view the interviewed and written fetish stories.  However each portrays an aspect of the fetish and an insight into what that person might be thinking or feeling as they experience the fetish.   No one is asking you to try the fetish, but I am asking you to consider alternate points of views and realities.  
My background includes undergraduate and postgraduate work in psychology and although I did not complete a doctorate I was accepted into a doctorate program which I never completed.  Life toils and a need for income forced me to choose career over additional education.   There was no scientific formula applied to my studies and my accumulation of research data.   However I will try to contrast and compare other existing theories and ideas with the realities and perhaps some fantasy stories shared by those who have a shoe and boot fetish that offer additional insight.  Because I currently hold a separate career, and because this fetish, unlike being homosexual, still holds a great degree of public misunderstanding, I prefer not to announce my name or the schools I attended.  It is just fine with me if you should choose not to consider this research and documentation, or if you wish to challenge it.   So be it, I am certain and confident that regardless, someone will benefit from this writing just because I had the courage and determination to write it.  It is more accumulated information on the subject than I have found or read in any one place. 
The term bi sexual in my mind might be a bigger word than we considered and might need to include alternative sexualities, interests, and activities.  The purpose of this book is to demonstrate and increase an understanding in the perception of the fetishist and interested non fetishist that for the fetishist, shoes and boots can take on a life of their own in their minds that is just as real as any sexual partner.  For the shoe fetishist the shoe can, and often does, become an object of real sexual desire that can stand alone in my mind as an alternate sexuality.   It can never replace human contact for social gratification, but it clearly can be used to implement some of the aspects of the sex act.  
The first challenge that I make are to update and reconsider the terms fetish, diversion, and perversion and how they are used for some, perhaps not all, shoe fetishists.  In the strict sense anything that is not reproductive behavior and by the purest definition is thus non productive and then should probably be considered a diversion of the sexual function whether this be natural developed behavior or a learned behavior.  I also agree that all diversions from reproductive behaviors that involve reproductive alternates are probably accurately titled fetish behavior as well.  However, here I would include all forms of behavior whether it be oral sex, mutual masturbation, shoes, feet, boots or even homosexuality.  Some are stimulation to alternate body parts than reproduction, some are to external sexually related objects.   However, the distraction from re-production should probably be considered an alternate sexuality  in what is other wise a perfectly normal person.   Perversion, as a societal use of the term might include the violation of acceptable behavior and a variety of actions that extend outside the topic of foot and shoe fetishes.  So these won’t be discussed here and we can leave those other topics to books like Kraft and Ebbing’s.    
For those who really want to understand shoe fetishism, they need to recognize that for a shoe fetishist this is, in most cases, not masturbation for simple pressure relief or self gratification it in itself has become for the shoe fetishist a highly exciting form of sexuality.  The shoe fetishists selection, preparation, and sexual encounter with shoes can, and usually is as complex and as involved for many as the selection and preparation for any heterosexual or homo sexual encounter.  For the shoe fetishist it is the equivalent to those who can, and do, separate sexual encounters from long term personal relationships.   For the shoe fetishist being in love is probably not a lot different than the feelings of those at the moment enjoying a one night stand.  At that moment it might be love but it isn’t usually a long term relationship.  For me, my shoe fetish replaces my drive and desire to have one night stands and retains in tact my long term relationship with my partner.   Is it cheating?  In my mind the way I view shoes it might be.   However, for my partner it is a much more reasonable and acceptable form than a series of one night stands.  
So the question in a modern overpopulated society than might become, is a shoe fetish really any more a deviant behavior than masturbation is?  Or is it an additional natural pleasure, a sexuality encounter based on complex reactions that go far beyond and are much more mentally complex than masturbation?  It would seem that for many who have a shoe fetish, the rest of everything about their lives meets the definition of normal in almost all ways, and that this complex gratification process appears to be just about as frequent as any other gratification process and certainly for those with a shoe fetish it might even replace masturbation.   Perhaps if we are able to considering a slightly different view we might conclude that many shoe fetishists are bi or even tri sexual.  Just consider,  heterosexual, homosexual, or both, and a very strong penetrating shoe fetish?  
As you review my material please be reminded that I have worked to re-write some portions of the cases to remove strong or unnecessary language and that the term member will be used to relate to the male appendage, and the F- - - word will be replaced with other options.  Please note that the F- - - word was used extensively to describe how most shoe fetishists feel about what they are doing with their shoe encounters.  No advanced shoe fetishist that I received responses from felt it was just masturbation.  I separate those who manipulated the shoe by hand movement over their member as a form of masturbation from those who seemed to get deeply into the shoes adding additional meaning beyond the use as a receptacle or friction creating tool.   For those who just found shoes to be a simple masturbation tool, much like a sock, a toilet paper roll, or any format they can just put it into that had no additional personal meaning I considered these to be forms of masturbation.—Preceding Srotoys (talk) 14:50, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
thread_title:  SHOE FETISHISM --- A FETISHIST RESEARCHERS POINT OF VIEW