Talk:Tsakhiagiin Elbegdorj

message: The prime minister of Mongolia and its political party have been financed by Western interests in Mongolia, and this is an important point that should be brought into attention.
Due to Mongolia vast natural resources and its geopolitical and strategic location, there are enormous interests from private and public institutions (chiefly form Europe and the United States) in having indirect political control and a government that favours their interests.
For example, the European Bank for Reconstruction and Development (and its constituent parties) has big interests and influence in many major projects in Mongolia.  — Preceding unsigned comment added by 90.244.5.71 (talk) 13:45, 27 June 2013 (UTC)
replies: text: You know the drill.  Wiki operates on Reliable Sources.  Do you have any that support the above? HammerFilmFan (talk) 10:07, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
replies: text: 90.244.5.71's comment is not true. Spending details of the European Bank for Reconstruction and Development (and its constituent parties) in their reports on EBRD website and other websites do not have a line item for funding for Mongolian Prime Minister and Mongolian political parties. Spending details of Western interests in Mongolia do not show any spending for Mongolian Prime Minister or political parties if you check their relevant financial reports.- Mongolkhun (talk) 07:57, 2 July 2013 (UTC)
thread_title:  Funding/Sponsoring and Controversies 

message: While most of the article is understandable, there are some sentences which don't make sense.  Someone needs to go through the entire article and copy-edit it. 211.225.39.71 (talk) 01:54, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
thread_title: unclear

message: Class=B/ This article has strong structure, reasonable amount of inline cites, fair narrative, and good coverage. How to make it better?
* Tone: much of this article is written with a familiar, laudatory POV. That needs to be tweaked to a more NPOV. For example, he is made to sound like the patron saint of all trees: "Under his patronage, schools began to have eco-classes, students began to plant and take care of trees they planted around their schools and television serials on planting trees have been broadcast."
* More cites: Sentences like this one assert a knowledge that MUST be backed by citations: "It was 1989 and Mongolia had been a communist country for 68 years. At that time, it was alleged that one out of two people was an unofficial spy of communist party that would oppress people who expressed different opinions than socialism and communism."
* Balance: There is no real criticism in this article of the subject. He's a friend to trees, fossils, women, and those on death row; he's adopted 21 children and went to Harvard on a full scholarship and the first democratic President and all before he was 45. There MUST be real dissent with some of his decisions and directions as well as consequences to his actions. The utter lack of that narrative creates a POV vacuum.
Overall, the article has a good depth of coverage, good quotes, and great improvement. Good job. EBY (talk) 02:44, 7 July 2013 (UTC)
replies: text: EBY, Thank you very much for your brilliant insights and great assessments. I will update the article with your suggestions. I hope other editors of the article will improve this article with your suggestions also. Thank you again. Mongolkhun (talk) 12:34, 7 July 2013 (UTC)
thread_title:  Assessment 

message: The FA-nomination was closed, while i was typing some comments and suggestions, but maybe those points are still helpful for further work on the article (better than loosing an hour worth of typing ;) ):
*Per WP:EL direct external links in the article body should be avoided and need to be re-worked as citations.
*Some of those external links are primary sources - primary sources should be used sparingly and usually only for uncontroversial statements. If possible, they should be replaced with secondary sources, that comment on and neutrally analyze the primary source material. See WP:PRIMARY for a guideline on the usage of the different types of sources.
*The whole first lead para needs a complete rewrite to trim all subjective, laudatory content. Some notable praise and criticism can be added later to the lead, but should be restricted to neutral sources or clearly described as opinion statement. (for example: The "swallow" statement was not made by "Mongolians" in general, but only by "Mongolian supporters" and is not suitable for the lead as vague and non-neutral statement).
*The article seems to aim for a chronological structure. However, a period of 5.5 years between his prime minister terms is missing in the narrative. Some of that information is scattered throughout other parts of the article. Suggestion: a brief section between "first term" and "second term" to bridge that gap. Or, if too little information is available, it could be added at the end of "first term" or as intro to "second term".
*Sections about the "Dinosaur fossil return" and "Diving into Lake Baikal" have questionable encyclopedic value (see WP:UNDUE). Elbegdorj's role in the dinosaur affair can be summarized in 2 or 3 brief sentences. The "diving" paragraph could be also trimmed to one sentence, stating the mere fact. There is no need to re-tell the whole PR-action.
*Suggestion: The 17 (!) sections of his presidency should be grouped into fewer, more general sub-topics (maybe "Foreign policy", "Infrastructure reforms", "Civil rights" and similar categories). Also some details are probably not notable enough for an encyclopedic article - not every tiny detail needs to be mentioned for a comprehensive coverage.
*Too much of the article is devoted to Elbegdorj explaining his policy in his own words via quotes or by obvious supporters. Those sections need to be trimmed and replaced with information from neutral secondary sources. Some of his most notable key quotes about his political agenda are OK of course, but the article presents too much of its information from his point of view (see WP:NPOV for more information).
The critical assessment from the B-class review (see article talk) about the article's tone still applies. A lot of effort has already been spent to improve the article, but it needs more substantial changes. GermanJoe (talk) 08:40, 12 August 2013 (UTC)
thread_title:  FAC-review 

message: Hello fellow Wikipedians,
I have just modified 14 external links on Tsakhiagiin Elbegdorj. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:
*Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20131103101433/http://www.asv.gov.ua/content.php?lang=en&page=1_0 to http://www.asv.gov.ua/content.php?lang=en&page=1_0
*Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20140116123941/http://www.civicvoices.org/UserFiles/khaidav%20sangijav%20edited%20formatted.pdf to http://www.civicvoices.org/UserFiles/khaidav%20sangijav%20edited%20formatted.pdf
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*Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20130610155307/http://cdmongolia.mn/tsakhia-elbegdorj/ to http://cdmongolia.mn/tsakhia-elbegdorj/
*Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20121227133854/http://baabar.niitlelch.mn/content/112.shtml to http://baabar.niitlelch.mn/content/112.shtml
*Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20120428055254/http://www.iri.org/news-events-press-center/news/democracy%E2%80%99s-hero-tsakhiagiin-elbegdorj to http://www.iri.org/news-events-press-center/news/democracy%E2%80%99s-hero-tsakhiagiin-elbegdorj
*Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20101219062034/http://iri.org/news-events-press-center/news/mongolia-celebrates-20th-anniversary-democratic-revolution to http://www.iri.org/news-events-press-center/news/mongolia-celebrates-20th-anniversary-democratic-revolution
*Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20131016075329/http://www.nambc.org/docs/elbegdorj-elected.html to http://www.nambc.org/docs/elbegdorj-elected.html
*Added archive https://archive.is/20130624234521/http://vip76.mn/content/17526?rfr=10 to http://vip76.mn/content/17526?rfr=10
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*Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20131107070608/http://www.parliament.mn/en/law/categories/2541/pages/4428 to http://www.parliament.mn/en/law/categories/2541/pages/4428
*Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20140106034351/http://www.handsoffcain.info/news/index.php?iddocumento=15312549 to http://www.handsoffcain.info/news/index.php?iddocumento=15312549
When you have finished reviewing my changes, you may follow the instructions on the template below to fix any issues with the URLs.
Cheers.—InternetArchiveBot (Report bug) 01:04, 20 December 2017 (UTC)
thread_title:  External links modified 

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thread_title:  Commons files used on this page have been nominated for deletion