Talk:Blazing Lazers

message: Okay, here it goes:
*WP:DASH—unspaced emdashes or spaced endashes.
*"the galaxy is under attack by the Dark Squadron, who has eight enemy "Super Weapons" to do its bidding." A couple of things here. Firstly, what galaxy; where is this set? Who or what is the Dark Squadron? Any chance of rewording "to do its bidding" into something more professional? Try and explain all jargon.
*"hope lies with the Gunhed Advanced Star Fighter to take out the Dark Squadron" "Take out"—what, are they going on a date somewhere? Use more formal language please.
*"The game features fast gameplay". Just not sure about the phrasing here. You may be better off just explaining if it scrolls very quickly or whatever contributes to the fast nature.
*First sentence of the third paragraph is very similar to the last sentence of the first. Similar subjects should be grouped in the same paragraph.
*"vertical-scrolling" – "vertically-scrolling". Inconsistent phrasing. The latter is probably more correct.
*"also, the game has limited continues in which players can restart the game at that level in which their previous game ended provided the system is not turned off." Questionable "also". Should probably be a separate sentence. Should be reworded as this phrasing is convoluted.
*Generally, try cutting out some redundant "alsos".
*"The player can also collect special optional power-ups to also help fight through the game, such as "multibodies" that mimic the ship's movements as well as shoot on their own, homing missiles, shields, and even special firing capabilities known as "full fire." Power-ups are nigh-on always optional considering they must be attained manually. "Special" is probably redundant here. The needless "also" hinders the flow of the sentence; "even" is unnecessary and contributes to a non-encyclopaedic tone. Doesn't say whether it mimics the player or enemy ship, and finally, you could save the explanation for the ship by clarifying that it is a total copy.
*"The player also carries a limited supply of "cluster bombs." With a press of a button, the player can release a smart bomb and wipe out large quantities of enemies and even bosses within the player's vicinity.[8] Throughout the game, players get many opportunities to collect additional cluster bombs to replenish their inventory." Confused structure. "Cluster bombs" is isolated in a short sentence, but then it is reintroduced a sentence later. Why is the sentence on smart bombs sandwiched between these two? Watch out for informal phrasing too, like "wiped out".
*"Players have the unique option to control the speed of their ship by the press of a button. This allows players to customize of speed of their ship to their own preference, comfort, and control. There are five speeds in which the ship can move, which can be cycled through at any time during the game with the press of a button." Should be sentence structured as 1, 3, 2. As for the second sentence, it sounds like you're trying to sell/advertise the game to the reader.
*The second paragraph in "Development" is too short. Should probably be merged with the other one.
*"from GameSpot also gave very good reviews for" A common one, but the way this is worded conveys that the review was of good quality, and not that it was positive.
*"makes up for it" Again with the informal phrasing.
*It is not conventional to have the present tense in "Reception" sections, especially considering that these are based on past reviews.
*Quote "catchy tunes" or reword please.
;Sources:
*Not sure about the ins-and-outs of this, but things like ref 6 should be reserved in their own section called "notes".
*I don't think GameFAQs is actually a reliable source; it's best to check on that one.
*Finally, I'm not sure what the MobyGames links actually contribute.
Okay, I've decided to upgrade this to B-class. Before GA, you should clean up the prose and try find more "Development" info. Thanks. Ashnard Talk Contribs 17:01, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
thread_title:  WP: VG Assessment 

message: * (no page number available) –MuZemike 04:14, 19 March 2010 (UTC)
thread_title:  Additional reviews 

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