Talk:Minoru Ōta

message: I have edited the English translation of the famous telegram.
I have changed the translation in many places.
Here is the summary.
-  It is missing heading (to whome it is addressed, etc. for no apparent
reason. I added them.)
2nd paragraphs: I agree that it is a telegram and each paragraph is
packed with information, but it *IS* a modern translation with space
to spare. We can do better.
I fixed a few places where strange expressions appear and/or where the
meaning is not clear.
"report authority" ?
"inform you of the governor urgently": well, we can translate better.
The third paragraph: some strange sentences.
Also, the contrast to the MALE population eligible for military
operaion and the REST of the population was not clearly shown in the
current translation. I changed some words to show it clearly: the
original Japanese was clear on this topic, too, IMHO.
"The old man, the child, the woman who was left are gone because no
one depends on themselves": Huh? What is this?
To be honest, the current English translation is junk.
Fourth paragraph: "offer canonball" ?
Nurses are local young females if you don't see it from the current
translation.
Fifth paragraph:
"I will decide to...":  No! It is the parents of young
daughters (!)
Sixth paragraph regarding nurses' devotion; meaning is totally unclear
and
whatever nuances it had in the original are lost.
Again, the nurses are young local females if you don't see it from the
previous translation.
7th paragraph: This paragraph was OK, but I rewrote it to be more
rythmic in line with a telegram writing style.
The last paragraph: even if there are minor illegible parts
near the end, the meaning of the last paragraph in the original
Japanese is clear.
"consistent efforts for labor service and goods conservation": this
doesn't cut mustard.
It does not convey the meaning of original admirale.
He did not spell it out but he was trying to convey the SACRIFICE of  the Okinawan people.
"efforts" doesn't cut it. We can do better.
Three last sentences:
"It is said that food is already in full condition only in June.":
Subpar translation.
The admiral had no hope after June.
 	
"I would like you to give the prefectural people special
consideration, this day forward": the admiral wanted the political
wing of the Navy and the Japanese government to give the people in
Okinawa a special treatment in the future
considering the hardship of people in Okinawa.
Usually military admiral won't issue such a telegram.
He said he was sending it out in lieu of the governor who had no means
of communication.
But I believe this was exactly what he wanted to tell the polical
center despite his military role.
So he used a rather deferetial style
of requesting (as if from a subject of a royal court to someone high
in such hierarchy). My attempt to convey the meaning and expression of the original English is this.
Someone with a knowlege of Victorian English may do better.
--- Summary.
By fixing the bad translation, 
I believe I am doing justice to the admiral Tanaka, and above all, the
Okinawan people whose devotion under the military rule was praised by
the admiral who requested mercy and urged special consideration for
people in Okinawa.
I am not claiming that my translation is perfect, but it is much
better than the previous version, I believe.
It seems as if the original translation was taken out of automatic transaltion of Google?  — Preceding unsigned comment added by Zephyrusjp (talk • contribs) 14:03, 9 March 2019 (UTC)
thread_title:  Translation of Admiral Minoru Ōta's telegram