Talk:Joe Rice

message: "A business consultant, Rice is also a U.S. Army veteran and a lieutenant colonel in the Army Reserve who has served during peacekeeping operations in Bosnia."
Say "Rice is a business consultatnt, a US Army veteran" etc.
::--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
replies: text:  I've clarified "platform" with a wikilink.--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: --Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: Lead

message: ====Military Career====
"...and his current tour, where from October 2007 to January 2008, where, as an operations analyst, he evaluated Iraqi military and police forces."
Double use of "where".
:: Fixed.--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
replies: text:  I've clarified Airborne and Ranger training both by rephrasing the sentence and by providing appropriate wikilinks.--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: --Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

text: --Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

text:  Rephrased.--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

text:  Removed. -- Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: Biography

message: "...and his current tour, where from October 2007 to January 2008, where, as an operations analyst, he evaluated Iraqi military and police forces."
Double use of "where".
:: Fixed.--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
replies: text:  I've clarified Airborne and Ranger training both by rephrasing the sentence and by providing appropriate wikilinks.--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: --Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: Military Career

message: "Rice earned an associates degree from New Mexico Military Institute in 1987, a bachelor's degree in history from Metropolitan State College of Denver in 1989, while an active-duty officer."
Put a conjunction after "1987". And eliminate the comma after "1989".
::--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
replies: text:  Rephrased.--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
replies: text:  Removed. -- Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: Private sector career=

message: "Running for re-election, Rice faced opposition from Tea Party member Mike Dunafon in a race that saw uncharacteristically negative campaigning for Glendale, including accusations that Rice used racial slurs and denigrated African-American and Mexican citizens."
"Uncharacteristically negative" is POV.
:: Removed. -- Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: Mayor of Glendale

message: ====2006 election====
"Republican Joe Stengel was term-limited in 2006 and could not stand for re-election; both Rice and Republican Matt Dunn sought the seat."
The seat of what?
:: Stengel's legislative seat. I've tried to clarify the language.-- Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
replies: text:  Strictly speaking, no, although it does explain why Dunn precedes Joe Rice in the infobox instead of Stengel. Removed, though. -- Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: --Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

text: --Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: Legislative career

message: "Republican Joe Stengel was term-limited in 2006 and could not stand for re-election; both Rice and Republican Matt Dunn sought the seat."
The seat of what?
:: Stengel's legislative seat. I've tried to clarify the language.-- Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
replies: text:  Strictly speaking, no, although it does explain why Dunn precedes Joe Rice in the infobox instead of Stengel. Removed, though. -- Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: 2006 election

message: I think you should convert the bullet list to just a paragraph. 
::--Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: --Sethant (talk) 01:50, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: 2007 legislative session

message: "Rice is a business consultant and a U.S. Army Reservist who has served during peacekeeping operations in Bosnia."
Say "...Reservist, and he has served..." Or, try "...consultant, and he has served as a U.S. Army Reservist during..."
::I've dropped the Bosnia reference; after a number of attempts at rephrasing, I just can't get it to parse well. It's also a minor bit in the article that doesn't have to go in the lead, and I'm fine with that. -- Sethant (talk) 04:01, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: Lead

message: "Rice and his wife, Kendall, were married around 1990, and have three children — twins Harrison and Alexandria, born around 2001, and a younger son, Dalton, born in 2005."
Why "around 1990...around 2001"? Are you not sure?
::Yes, I'm not sure. Perfect, precise information isn't always available. The references only indicate his children's ages and the length of his marriage, not the actual years of marriage and birth. -- Sethant (talk) 04:01, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: A previous reviewer requested information about his hobbies. There's very little information about that, and that's what I can find. -- Sethant (talk) 04:01, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
replies: text: Redundancy eliminated. -- Sethant (talk) 04:01, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: Biography

message: Review of Joe Rice
#Is it reasonably well written?
#:A. Prose quality: 
#:: 
#:B. MoS compliance: 
#:: 
#Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
#:A. References to sources: 
#:: 
#:B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary: 
#:: 
#:C. No original research: 
#:: 
#Is it broad in its coverage?
#:A. Major aspects: 
#:: 
#:B. Focused: 
#:: 
#Is it neutral?
#:Fair representation without bias: 
#:: 
#Is it stable?
#: No edit wars, etc: 
#:: 
#Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
#:A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales: 
#:: 
#:B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions: 
#:: 
#Overall: 
#:Pass or Fail: 
#:: 
After going over it, I think this is now a satisfactory Good Article. Congratulations. Noble Story (talk) 06:15, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
thread_title: Final GA Review

message: I am curious about how the 'founder' of Dismas House is listed as Bob Sylvester. Somehow the info here makes it appear that Dismas House is and was founded by this felon, when in fact Dismas House founder was Father Charles “Dismas” Clark in 1959. I am considering opening an article on Dismas House, since this was the forebearer of the modern halway houses used today. Just hate to see the misconception and the slandererous writing about Dismas House within this article. Anyone else open to re-writing the way we are seeing Dismas House portrayed and/or assisting in the writing of a Dismas House article? Give me a shout Brattysoul (talk) 16:37, 27 January 2009 (UTC)
thread_title:  Dismas House 

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thread_title:  External links modified 

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thread_title:  External links modified 

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thread_title:  External links modified 

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thread_title:  External links modified 

message: Reviewing this article for the new GA sweeps initiative. Most of the information post-dating 2009 in the article is uncited. This is material that is required to contain citations for GA status to remain per the GA criteria (which have been semi-recently updated). This is doubly concerning, as this article is a biography of a living person. A WP:GAR may be necessary if the citation issues are not resolved. Hog Farm  Talk 14:37, 3 June 2024 (UTC)
thread_title:  GA concerns