Talk:Bubblegum Alley

message: If anyone could help us format this page it would be greatly appreciated. We are writing this for our English class and at the same time trying to understand how Wikipedia works. We are excited to write about a topic that hasn't been addressed in Wikipedia, and inform users around the world about a little unique place in San Luis Obispo, Bubblegum Alley! —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Crawfish2007 (talk • contribs).
Does anyone know how to keep numbering the references? I can't figure it out. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Crawfish2007 (talk • contribs).
:I'll re-organize things in a bit, and we should nominate this for the Did you know? section of the Main Page -- Samir 15:21, 9 May 2007 (UTC)
thread_title:  New to Wikipedia 

message: Introduction: good graphics and references, and overall definition as heading.  
Avoid parenthetical phrases, especially ones that are just dropped into the sentence, like "(believed to be since 1960)."
History: copy edit throughout. Rephrase first sentence. 
Other phrases needing edits: "the history of who started" 
"some historians," "On the other hand" "little" "immediately" "this" "launching the start"...I'm stopping here. Every succeeding sentence in this section needs to be edited.  The three of you need to work together to listen to each sentence and turn it into publishable prose. The research is good, but each reference needs to be properly formatted.  See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Citing_sources#Embedded_HTML_links
National News--not an appropriate heading. The research is good, but each reference needs to be properly formatted.  See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Citing_sources#Embedded_HTML_links 
Edit this sentence: Bubblegum Alley is taking over the airways by appearing in a number of television shows.
Edit for echo and to turn this into a statement: While filming to break the world’s biggest bubblegum bubble, what better place to film than in between two walls covered in the sticky substance.
Last sentence of this section adds nothing.
Gummy Traditions--Inappropriate heading
One of the most obvious traditions you can see as you walk through the alley,--wordy, you cant see a tradition.  Tighten this and the following sentence.
passers-by
"this explaining the random assortment of numbers all over the walls." --fragment
"It is believed that"--meaningless phrase
"No one knows if it really works but it is a nice way to keep the alley fresh."--what is this saying?
"This odd landmark in San Luis Obispo comes with a legend of bad luck."-- awkward expression.  This whole section on bad luck can be reduced to one short sentence.  Dont pad the prose. 
"According to Ryan Norton and wife, the alley way is a personal place for them. Every year on their anniversary they take a trip to the famouse Bubblegum Alley to place a piece of gum on the walls (Hillinger). Not only do couples have their own traditions but on the walls of the Bubblegum Alley couples show their love for eachother in the form of gum. Which ever way people enjoying showing the effection for others is just another way to enjoy the wonders of Bubblegum Alley." --This is wordy, awkward and full of typos.  You guys are on the World Wide Web!  Get it together.
This section only contains one citation.  Where does the rest of the information come from? Use citation style according to guide.
Controversy: "Agreement whether these gum-covered walls should remain a part of quaint downtown San Luis Obispo has spurred much debate since its founding."  Read and correct this sentence.
But who then is getting stuck with the cleaning? --awkward transition.
routinely has to scrape chewed wads of gum off of his windows every Monday morning.--redundant
and handing out hoses. So far, hoses have been handed out--unclear; echo
Most businesses in the downtown have found a special place in their hearts for the alley, as long as business is good and out-of-towners keep coming to town.--adds little information
the Bubblegum Alley--get rid of "the" throughout this article
strength of the alley has been tested --awkward
Simple Green--what's this?
n 1985, fireman hosed down the sticky walls, but the alley proved to be more resilient than expected. --firemen, alley cant be resilient
Art Form: 
"What better way to express yourself than by sticking gum on a wall. To many locals in SLO it is a harmless act that attracts many people; some in good ways, some in bad." Padding, adds no content.
and even some questionable figures--adds no content
If you look close enough at the gum infested walls you will find an abundance of objects.--dont switch to addressing reader.
the occasional condom hanging from the wall.--good detail, but not clearly described
mixes superlatives with qualifiers--weak
is high enough on the wall from other gummers, the portrait should last as long as the alley stays in tack.--rework this sentence
Along with all these gum chewing artist--read and edit.  Who does "all these" refer to? 
this unique alleyway--we've heard it's unique several times. 
As long as the walls remain, there will always be a unique bubble gum covered place in San Luis Obispo.--no content
Overall, good content.  But this article needs copy editing throughout.  The three of you need to get together and fix all the sentences I mentioned to raise this grade of C-  
Rudolph2007 14:27, 15 May 2007 (UTC)
thread_title: instructor comment

message: This is a fascinating (if not somewhat gross) article, but it really needs a rewrite. The style of writing is abominable in places and not very encyclopaedic. For example:
:An alleyway full of over-chewed, 40 year old bubblegum does not sound like it would be pleasing to most. But contrary to that belief many have started their own gummy traditions to keep this alleyway a must-see attraction in San Luis Obispo.
Perhaps suitable for a cheesy write-up in a tourist brochure (though not a proper professional one) but certainly not the style of writing befitting an encyclopaedia.
zoney  ♣ talk 11:39, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
replies: text: Seems to be written in a very biased tone: "harmless tradition" vs "anti-gum crusaders." Obviously whoever wrote it likes the wall and feels the store owners who don't are in the wrong. Granted it's not a very serious subject but that's not an appropriate tone for Wikipedia. 80.44.181.62 (talk) 11:51, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
thread_title:  In need of rewriting 

message: Since late 2014, the copyright status of the poem "An Ode to Gum Alley", which was included in its entirety, has been questioned including a notice of WP:COPYVIO in the text of the article. The poem has been removed and readded several times, but I can find no evidence of discussion anywhere. Before it is restored, it must be established this we are not breaching copyright in doing so, either here or at Wikipedia:Copyright problems. I do not believe a fair use defence applies if the poem is not under a free license, as fair use does not apply when reproducing an entire text. Fences&Windows 11:13, 5 February 2016 (UTC)
thread_title:  Copyright of poem