Talk:Strawberry Panic!/Archive 3

message: This article was unfairly treated in the GA nominations, reviewing of articles for GA should start from the top of the list. Instead of having the nominated for delisting I have reverted to a nominated article in the same position as it was nominated. Sorry to editors of this article for the breakdown in the GA proccess and Good luck with your nomination Gnangarra 14:35, 29 June 2006 (UTC)
replies: text: I had a quick read and checked the images in the article, Copyrighted images need a fair use rationale for each use on the image page, The image in the infomation box has been edited this is a significant breach of copyright laws this image should be deleted from Wikipedia immediately. Gnangarra 14:35, 29 June 2006 (UTC)

text: Although I disagree that it was unfairly treated, I'd like to thank you for your input. This article has benefitted from it. Kyaa the Catlord 18:01, 29 June 2006 (UTC)

text: I just restored the nomination for GA; this topic just went through an editing hurricane. x_x But it sure has come out looking better, I'll say that. =) Thanks to everyone who made it possible, and I'm glad I was here to help. Now to wait for the second verdict once all of the other articles on top of this one are passed or failed.--Juhachi 18:35, 29 June 2006 (UTC)
thread_title: Restored Nomination for GA

message: Reasons -
* Contents at the side - more of a stylistic issue - why?
* The intro is far from perfect, it's more of a "this is all the stuff and when it was released", when it should "this is... it's about... it's plot is... it's medium is...". An introduction should be 2-3 paragraphs, and you have room!
* Plot
** Who is "Nagisa Aoi"?
** the colon in "each other:" should be a comma or a semi colon.
** "which is the one she attends." is not brilliant prose
** "Among all of the students, there is one that is chosen to be the representative of all three schools, who is named Etoile, meaning "star" in French. Nagisa meets the current Etoile, Shizuma Hanazano, before her first day at her new school begins, which proves to be an interesting first encounter with each other." Sounds more of a blurb than a summary.
** "There are also strong shōjo ai themes"... good to know?
* Major characters
** "Miator", "Spica", "Lulim"?
** Too much bold, the bios are awfully short and fannish, if the character fall into groups, they'd probably be better in paragraphs.
** "klutzy" isn't even a word!
* Etoile
** This is a great section! More of this please.
* Schools
** Don't add the Japanese to the headers, prose it in
** Too many pictures! When your pictures cut into the text like that, you know you have a problem. I think there may be too many pictures here, I think it could be breaching fair use.
* Seven mysteries 
** You say there are seven mysteries.
*** Then you reveal there are actually twelve
**** Then you list eight?
***** If you can't list them all, tag with , rather than leave us hanging ;)
** Don't bold this list
** If you are going to give details, give details about them all
* Remaining article
** Merge anime, manga and video games into "In other media", or something similar
** "Trivia" - trivial?
** "Sources" and "References", need to be merged together, you can list books, DVDs, TV shows and other things as references, which may cover a lot of your original research.
* Images
** Need Fair Use Rationales 
Good start, I think a lot of referencing got mixed up, Sources and references are the same thing. The article may breach the Manual of Style here and there, especially with the bolding. There are also some underlying problems, are you mainly referring to the game, anime or manga? And, you don't seem to mention that everything is fictional in this article. If you have any questions leave a note on my talk page, Highway Rainbow Sneakers 15:16, 29 June 2006 (UTC)
replies: text: The comments above about the lead are what I wanted to say. Spot on. Please expand the intro: explain exactly what this is, so that even clueless idiots like me can understand it, give it some context, explain it's significance, etc. See WP:LEAD for more advice. Hope that helps, and thanks to User:HighwayCello for the detailed review. --kingboyk 15:40, 29 June 2006 (UTC)
replies: text: The intro is much better now. I understand it! That wasn't so hard now, was it? :) Well done all, you've responded graciously and the article is all the better for it. --kingboyk 21:10, 29 June 2006 (UTC)
thread_title:  GA Failure 

message: * Can you convert the wild links and web references per WP:CITE?
* Can you pad out the media section, it's quite stubby
* Good improvements! Highway Rainbow Sneakers 18:38, 29 June 2006 (UTC)
replies: text: I've got #1. Kyaa the Catlord 18:40, 29 June 2006 (UTC)
replies: text: Per #2, I have never read the light novel, and only 7 of the first chapters of the manga have been translated into English, the anime is only half finished and the video game has yet to be released; not much else we can add I'm sad to say.--Juhachi 18:49, 29 June 2006 (UTC)
replies: text: Also a note on the light novel, it is very difficult to get a hold of, even in Japan. I'm not sure if this is a problem with distribution or if it is simply popular. :P (I hope for the second.) Kyaa the Catlord 18:58, 29 June 2006 (UTC)
thread_title:  More notes 

message: Good work so far, some more things -
* The manga and light novel sections of Media need... well writing.
* The whole school section needs refs
* The mysteries need refs
* The other two schools (and the end of the first) needs ref
Good luck, Highway Batman! 12:08, 3 July 2006 (UTC)
replies: text: I have just fixed that problem and included the dates within the note.--Juhachi 18:28, 4 July 2006 (UTC)

text: Why don't we just translate the page back into Japanese, and remove the nonsense about regular/special editions? Highway Batman! 22:08, 4 July 2006 (UTC)
replies: text: Tagging the source as the original page and not the "translated" version sounds appropriate. I wouldn't particularly advocate for the removal of describing the differences of the two editions, this may be of interest to people interested in buying the DVDs but are incapable of reading Japanese. The episode names however should either be removed completely or replaced with the corresponding numbers instead. --Remy Suen 22:18, 4 July 2006 (UTC)
replies: text: Can't we use the ones from the episodes list? Highway Batman! 10:11, 5 July 2006 (UTC)
replies: text: Well, if we're going with names it's probably a better idea to use the one in the list for consistency purposes, yes, which was my original feeling. However, I'm pushing for their replacement with numbers since episode names are rarely used for conveying information. When I talk with people, I generally talk about the episode in which this-and-that happened, I don't say the episode's name, heck, I usually tend to forget the episode's name. I know that using numbers instead aren't much better and people don't really refer to numbers either unless the series is still running (which will soon not be the case, so it is important that we think ahead), but they do keep the paragraph tighter and not as long-winded. --Remy Suen 11:43, 5 July 2006 (UTC)
replies: text: There is a fine line when it comes to these things, I'd rather we had them in, we shouldn't write in a casual tone. Highway Batman! 12:53, 5 July 2006 (UTC)
replies: text: My intention was not to have the article be presented in a "casual tone", but it is more of a question of "will these extra words actually be meaningful to the reader?". *shrugs* --Remy Suen 00:26, 23 July 2006 (UTC)
replies: text: Well I think we should keep them in, it just comes off less casual. I know Pokémon articles use episode titles, not only for professionality, but because there is 500 odd, and all regions have different numbers. Just because there are 26 makes no difference. Highway Return to Oz... 00:29, 23 July 2006 (UTC)
thread_title:  GA Notes 

message: There has been some good work here but i dont think the media section is big enough. Childzy (Talk|Contribs) 11:25, 19 July 2006 (UTC)
thread_title: Failed GA