Talk:Desmond Fennell

message: The section Second "Abroad" Period contains this: In 1993, when he retired from his lecturing post, a month in Minsk, Bielorussia, was followed by a six-weeks holiday in the USA. That sojourn, followed by 15 months in Seattle, led to Fennell’s perception of the contemporary West as “postwestern” and to a related revised view of European history, themes which he has developed in his books since 1996. What is the distinctions between the six weeks and the fifteen months - it may be where in the USA he was, or the purpose of the two periods in time, but the article is unclear about this. Autarch (talk) 22:48, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
thread_title:  Unclear phrasing about time in United States of America. 

message: I am a student editor at Texas A&M University, and I will be working on this article for the next few weeks. I will be working on fixing the tone of this article, and will be taking a look at the organization of it as well. I read through the previous issues discussed on the talk page, and I plan to address what was worked through within my edits. I will continue to update my future plans here.  — Preceding unsigned comment added by Brybrydawg (talk • contribs) 03:44, 2 March 2021 (UTC)
replies: text: As I am working on this article, I want to respect the NPOV discussed earlier in the talk page. I  see that  has tagged NPOV most recently, and have myself found several instances where this occurs. I plan to address these issues (specifically NPOV, BLP, and NOR) in a Sandbox that I will be posting within the next week or so. My initial goal is to start with the reorganization of this article to shape it more like a BLP as well as to push it towards a more encyclopedic tone.
Brybrydawg (talk) 23:48, 10 March 2021 (UTC)
thread_title: Introducing New Edits

message: Here is a link to my sandbox, which reflects all of the edits I would like to make. Please let me know if you agree with these changes and if I should go forth in enacting them. Desmond Fennell Sandbox Edits
I changed the organization of this article slightly. Certain headings had NPOV or no encyclopedic tone in their labels, such as “confronting consumerist liberalism,” and separated content that was very similar to one another. As a solution, I made most current headings subheadings, and used the similarities to form main headings. 
I also marked quite a few areas in which citations were needed, however most information does seem to be Original Research. Certain claims appear to violate NPOV and NOR, unless there is an appropriate citation that can be listed to back up these claims.
The rest of my edits addressed NPOV. With a majority of instances, I made sure any claims were clearly marked as claims. Additionally, I cut out any information that did not contribute to any facts and that violated NPOV. The rest of my edits were largely grammar-oriented. 
Here is a list of a few of my major edits:
* change "pioneering" to "developing" (NPOV)
* change "enjoyed a fruitful collaboration" to "collaborated" (NPOV)
* change "Confronting consumerist liberalism" to "Approaching consumerist liberalism" (NPOV)
* Germany again- global experience and activism
* change "An influential column" to "a column" (NPOV)
* change "An Ireland, a Europe and a world" to "an Ireland" (Encyclopedic Tone, NPOV)
* DELETE: "That American holiday proved an intellectual turning point." (NPOV, Encyclopedic Tone)
* DELETE: "Fennell's concluding views on Ireland and the contemporary West can be found in Third Stroke Did It: The Staggered End of European Civilisationand in About Being Normal: My Life in Abnormal Circumstances, Somerville Press. 2017." (WP:NOT, Promotion Policy)
* DELETE: "by failing to present to westerners the sense-for-life that enables any such system to endure," (NPOV)
* change "made bearable" to "reformed"(NPOV)
Once last comment: the author mentions the liberals' "soft line on abortion and their anti-nationalist historical revisionism as well." I would like a second opinion as to whether or not this is NPOV, or just factual.
Brybrydawg (talk) 17:48, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
thread_title: Edit Summary

message: I went ahead and implemented these changes in hopes that bold edits will advance this article in the right direction. Still, much of the content in this article needs to be appropriately researched and cited.
Brybrydawg (talk) 03:21, 23 March 2021 (UTC)
thread_title: Update