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One year ago [Emerald coast, Florida] (Mason in in a bar) Mason: Alright Carlos. It's all for me (He pays and goes outside. A man follows him. Mason goes at his car. The man pushes him) Jimmy: Mason! Mason: Hey Jimmy. Easy. Let's get you home Jimmy: Screw you! (He pushes him again) Jimmy: I know about you and Marla Mason: What are you talking about? You've had too much to drink (Jimmy strangles him. Mason pushes him) Mason: Dude! What's up?! It's me, Mason! I'm not messing with Marla. You know that! (Jimmy punches Mason in the face) Mason: You don't want to do this buddy Jimmy: I'll kill you! (Jimmy throws Mason on the floor and kicks him in the stomach. Mason catches his arm and Pushes him. Then, he carries him and throws him on the floor. Jimmy's head hit the floor very hard. He's dead) Mason: Jimmy? Nowadays [Lockwood's Mansion] Tyler: Wait, the guy died? You killed him? Mason: He kept coming at me. He got in his head that I was sleeping with his girlfriend Tyler: Were you? Mason: No. No. I wouldn't do that, he was my friend. He was drunk and attacked me. It was self-defense Tyler: And it triggered the curse Mason: On every full moon, I lose control. If I don't sedate myself and chain myself, I'll kill anything in my path. You have to be careful. All it takes is an accident, a car wreck. Any death at your hands and you'll have a lifetime of this. You don't want it Tyler, trust me Mason: Alright. Where is the moonstone? A deal is a deal. I answered your questions Tyler: Um, yeah, I'm not sure but I'm guessing it's in here. (He goes toward his father's safe) Tyler: My dad, he was very cookie about his hiding spots but I figured most of them out over the years (He opens the safe) Tyler: It's all yours (Mason looks inside the safe but the moonstone isn't there) Tyler: Are you gonna tell me what's so important about this rock or what? Mason: I told you, it's just something I want. Sentimental value Tyler: I'm not really buying that. Why do you really want it? Mason: do you know where it is or not? Tyler: No, I figured it would be in here, man [Gilbert's house] (Elena is in the bathroom. Jeremy is here too) Jeremy: I can't believe Tyler Lockwood is a werewolf Elena: We're not sure about that yet. Anything we know for sure is that Mason Lockwood is Jeremy: It should be enough easy for us to figure it out Elena: There is no us. I said that I wouldn't keep things from you anymore. That doesn't mean that I want you involved in it Jeremy: By definition of being in this family, I'm involved Elena: This is dangerous, Jeremy. You have to stay out of it, okay? Jeremy: Alright. Just saying (He leaves. Elena opens her closet. When she closes it, Stefan is here) Stefan: Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you (She closes the door and kisses him) Elena: Hi Stefan: Hey (They embrace each other) Stefan: Are you ready for today Elena: No. I hate fighting with you, even if it's fake Stefan: I know but if Katherine thinks we were fighting, then she will think that she's winning and it keeps her from following her threats Elena: Yeah. Well, it doesn't make it any easier. Neither just knowing that Caroline will be there, reporting everything back to her Stefan: Hey, everything's gonna be okay. Yes we have to keep up this ruse for a little while but the best way to keep Katherine from hurting anybody, from hurting you Elena: Just promise me that she won't get her way with us. We can fake a fight, we can pretend that her threats are tearing us apart but none of it it's real, okay? Stefan: Okay, how about this? Today, when we're fighting, if I say "I can't do this anymore, Elena", what I really mean is that I love you Elena: And when I say "Fine Stefan, whatever" well that means I love you too Stefan: Deal (They kiss) [Caroline's house] (Liz is taking some boxes. Caroline arrives) Caroline: Are you off today? Liz: The historical society volunteer pic-nick is today. You're the one who signed me up Caroline: I know. I just assumed you'd bale Liz: No. I'm gonna spend the whole day with my daughter Caroline: You're gonna pretend to be a mother? Liz: I'll bring my gun if it gets rough. Come on, give me one day. I've been buried in work mode, I've barely seen you Caroline: Well be warned, I'm in a mood Liz: Goody for me. What was Elena doing here so late last night? Caroline: Elena wasn't... yes um... Elena was here. She just needed to talk. Her and Stefan are going trough a rough patch Liz: Is everything okay with you? Caroline: I'm fine Liz: It's just lately you seem different Caroline: I'm not different, I'm fine Liz: I know you think I don't notice these things but I do. What's going on with you? Caroline: You know there's pretending to be a mother and there's reality. Let's not push our luck, okay? (She leaves) [Mystic Falls Public Park] (It's the Mystic Falls Historical Society Volunteer Day. Carol Lockwood is doing a speech) Carol: This all part of the historical society, continuing efforts to give that to the community. Thanks to the generous donation of the Fell family. We are now standing on the sight of our newest public park. Thank you to everyone who has shown up today to land a helping hand. Thanks. (Mason is removing boxes from his trunk. Stefan rejoins him) Mason: Stefan right? The other Salvatore Stefan: The nice one. The one offering an apology Mason: Not interested Stefan: Look, my brother acted impulsively Mason: You think? Stefan: If you and Damon keep at each other throats, somebody innocent is going to get hurt and I don't want that. You have family here so I can imagine you don't want that either. So what do you say we just quit the whole alpha male fighting things and call a truce? Mason: I made that same offer to your brother. He turned it down with a knife Stefan: He made a mistake. I'm here to make sure neither of you make another one Mason: Tell your brother to watch his back (Stefan catches Mason's arm) Stefan: Well, I'm guessing that you can only worry about that during a full moon. Otherwise you're not as strong, am I right? Or you would have kill Damon by now. It's one of you. There's two of us. I think you're the only one that needs to watch his back Mason: If he comes with me... Stefan: He won't (They shake their hands and Mason leaves. Damon rejoins Stefan) Damon: What are you doing? Stefan: Negotiating peace on your behalf Damon: I don't want peace Stefan: Consider it opposite day Damon: Stefan, please tell me you don't seriously think a hand shake just solve our problem Stefan: No actually I think that the first chance Mason Lockwood gets, he's gonna drive a stake through your heart and then through mine because you took upon yourself to try to kill him. So thank you, because we don't have enough problems (He leaves) [Mystic Grill] (Jeremy is at a table. He looks at Tyler. Sarah and Aimee are at the pool table. Sarah looks at Jeremy) Sarah: When did Jeremy Gilbert get so cute? Aimee: Oh no, stay away, that guy is damages goods (Jeremy rejoins Tyler at his table) Jeremy: Hey man, how have you been? Tyler: Since when? Jeremy: I don't know, I haven't seen you much since your father funeral. I just figured maybe you'd want... Tyler: I'm fine, Gilbert Jeremy: Yeah okay (He leaves) Tyler: Wait, hold up. I'm sorry. Bad day, bad month. Listen, you were cool that day, at the wake. Thanks for that. I felt like in a freak show Jeremy: Yeah, I know the feeling well. What are you doing here? Tyler: Distracting myself (Aimee and Sarah rejoin them) Aimee: Hey, thanks for the text. We're two Tyler: My place. My mom is gone all day. Empty house, full bar... Aimee: Margaritas? Tyler: Sure (He looks at Jeremy) Tyler: You're in? Jeremy: Yeah. Yeah, I'm in Aimee: Let's do it (They leave) [Mystic Falls' public park] (Mason is helping Liz) Liz: Oh thanks Mason Mason: Hey Sheriff, you've got a second? Liz: I'm out of uniform. Let's go with Liz Mason: Alright Liz. I was hoping to talk to you about the council Liz: I don't know what you're talking about Mason: I know you and the others founding families have a secret council Liz: If that were true then you'd know it's a secret and isn't discuss with non-council members Mason: I know I rejected all that but it's only because I wanted a life outside this town, not because I was a non-believer. Look, I now vampires exist and you have two of them living right under your nose Liz: Really? Mason: Yeah Liz: Who would they be? Mason: Damon and Stefan Salvatore Liz: That's impossible. I know Damon Salvatore. Do you know what he's done for this town? Mason: I know it's a lot to digest Liz: No. I watched him kill vampires. He's an ally; he's part of the council Mason: Think about it. When did the vampires attack begin? When Damon and Stefan Salvatore moved to town? Liz: They walk in the sun, Mason Mason: They've evolved. It's not 1864. They figured it out, Liz Liz: No. Damon Salvatore is my friend Mason: What if I can prove it to you? (They look at Stefan and Mason) (Elena and Caroline are talking) Caroline: So suddenly, she's on the running for mother of the year just when I'm trying to avoid her the most. I'm babbling, you don't want to hear all this Elena: No, sorry. Then what happened? Caroline: Well, I was a bitch but it's part of the process. So, how are things between you and Stefan? Anything? Elena: No, not since the fight. He's been pushing me away because he thinks that Katherine might get jealous enough to hurt me. I just don't know how to change his mind Caroline: You said that Katherine's dangerous. Maybe he's got a point Elena: Yeah, I know that she's dangerous and I know that he's just trying to protect me but it feels like giving up and I just... Caroline: Just what? Elena: I just thought we were stronger than that (Damon rejoins Liz) Damon: Hey, I saw you with Mason earlier. What was that about? Liz: I just asked him to help with the cleanup in the woods Damon: That's why I'm here for, put me to work. Should I go help him? Liz: Oh no. You know, he's... I'm sure he's fine Damon: Are you okay, Liz? You seem really upset Liz: It's Caroline. We had a moment Damon: Is there anything I can do? Liz: No, Damon. Thank you. It's just the horrible parental skills paying off and space (Elena is painting a wall. She looks at Stefan. He looks at her. Caroline is looking at them) Caroline: Oh, oh. Lurking looks are being exchanged Elena: I'm gonna go talk to him Caroline: No, Elena. I think it's a bad idea (Elena leaves and Damon rejoins Caroline) Damon: What's her problem? Caroline: Don't worry about it Damon: Why are you being such a bitch to your mom? Caroline: Don't worry about it (Elena rejoins Stefan) Elena: Do you still care about Katherine? Stefan: Don't be like this. Please don't turn this into something that it's not Elena: So this is not for discussion. That's what you're saying? (Damon and Caroline are listening to them) Stefan: No, I'm saying that is enough for discussion right now because we have ears on us (They look at Damon and Caroline. They both pretend that they're not listening) Elena: Okay, when? Stefan: I don't know Elena: I saw her Stefan. It's like we are the same person. How could you hate her and be in love with me? Stefan: You're reaching. I'm not... I'm not Damon Elena: How about we don't bring Damon into this right now? Stefan: You know, I can't... I can't do this anymore, Elena Elena: Fine, Stefan. Whatever (Elena leaves. Damon is still with Caroline) Damon: Relationships are about communication (Caroline leaves) [Lockwood Mansion] (Aimee and Sarah are dancing. Tyler and Jeremy are drinking. Aimee rejoins Tyler) Aimee: Where is mine? (They go toward the bar) Aimee: Thanks for having us over. I think Sarah got a thing for Jeremy Tyler: Well, good for Sarah Aimee: Look, I'm really embarrassed for slating in up that day at the swimming hole. I'm really not like that, I promise you Tyler: You don't need to apologize Aimee: Friends? Tyler: Yeah, sure (They drink) (Sarah takes Jeremy's notebook) Sarah: Can I see? Jeremy: No, no. No way Aimee: I want to see Tyler: Yeah, let's see. What's Van Gogh got going on? Jeremy: Okay, yeah. Check it out (She looks at Jeremy's drawings) Sarah: Scary demon wolf thing (Tyler seems uncomfortable. Jeremy looks at him) Tyler: What's this about? (He takes the notebook and looks at the drawings) Jeremy: just some scratches. You still draw, Tyler? Tyler: A little but not much. You know, I've got something I'm actually working on. Come on, I'll show you Jeremy: Yeah. Okay, sure (They go in the office) Tyler: It's on the desk (Jeremy looks on the desk but there's nothing. Tyler closes the door) Jeremy: I can't see anything (Tyler rushes over him, pushes him against the wall and strangles him) Tyler: What were those pictures about? Jeremy: I can't breath Tyler: Answer to me! Why? Why wolf pictures? Jeremy: Because... because I know Tyler: You know what? You know what Jeremy?! Jeremy: I know what you are [Mystic Falls' public park] (Mason's drinking lemonade. Damon rejoins him) Damon: Hello, Mason. Working hard? Mason: Doing my part Damon: I heard you talked to Stefan Mason: Nice guy Damon: Yeah, a lot nicer than me Mason: Niceness is overrated Damon: That's what I think Mason: You have a good day, Damon (He leaves. Stefan arrives) Stefan: Please tell me that you were just bounding Damon: So what's up this faux drama in your relationship? Stefan: What are you talking about? Damon: Oh come on, Stefan. You and Elena don't fight, especially not over me Stefan: Drop it, Damon Damon: With pleasure Little Girl: Would you like some lemonade? Damon: Thank you sweetie (Damon drinks lemonade but spit it. Liz looks at him) Stefan: What's wrong with you? Damon: Vervein. Vervein (Elena is alone. Caroline rejoins her) Caroline: Are you okay? Elena: No Caroline: You know, maybe it's for the best Elena: It's not for the best, Caroline. None of this is for the best. I'm sorry, okay? I... I don't mean to take it out on you. You're just being a good friend Caroline: No. I'm not. I'm not being a good friend at all (She sees her mom on the phone, leaving the park) Caroline: Is she leaving? Where is my mom going? (Liz in at the phone) Liz: Look, I can't talk here. Just get Jesse and meet me down hallow at the entrance. And bring a... yes we need it Caroline: What's wrong? Liz: Nothing. I just have something... Caroline: You mean work? You've surprised me. You last longer than 5 minutes Liz: It's important Caroline: It always is Liz: I'm sorry (She leaves. Elena rejoins Caroline) Elena: What's going on? Caroline: I don't know. Something's up (Damon is drinking water. He's very hungry) Damon: I'm gonna kill him Stefan: Listen to me! Sit! Sit! Damon: I'm not listening anymore of you "get peace a chance" crap. He's dead! Damon: Okay. I don't like it but he's making threats. He could expose us. We need to put him down Damon: Alright. Let's do it (He sees Mason going into the woods) Damon: Woods. Trash duty. Come on (Caroline and Elena are going into the woods) Elena: Where are you going? What's going on? Caroline: I need to be able to hear better Elena: Hear what? Caroline: Something's wrong, Elena (Mason is in the woods. Stefan and Damon arrive) Damon: Don't look so surprised. You knew this was inevitable. Go ahead, run. I give you a head start (Mason bends down. Damon and Stefan are shot) (Caroline has heard everything) Caroline: Oh god Elena: What is it? Caroline: Stefan and Damon Elena: What? (Stefan and Damon are on the floor. Liz and some of her deputies arrive) Liz: Thank you, Mason (She injects Damon and Stefan with vervein) [SCENE_BREAK] [Lockwood Mansion] Tyler: How do you know about all this? Jeremy: My uncle John left this old diary lying around. It was written by a crazy Gilbert ancestor who wrote about this curse that run in your family Tyler: A curse about what? Jeremy: Werewolves. It's crazy right? But then, Matt was attacked by a wolf under a full moon and your uncle has just gotten back to town. It was too weird. Is it true? Tyler: About my uncle? Yeah Jeremy: Bu you... you're not... Tyler: Aw wolf? I'm sorry, a werewolf? No. I mean, not yet. Just saying that out loud, i sound insane Jeremy: I don't think so but then again, I always did believe in the crazy stuff Tyler: According to my uncle, you have to trigger the curse. Somebody has to die on your hands, like a murder or an accident. I basically have to cause death and then boom: next full moon I'm hulling on all fours Jeremy: Is that why he came back? To tell you all this? Tyler: Yeah, right. He had to tell me. I caught him. He's not here for me (He takes the moonstone from his pocket and shows it to Jeremy) Tyler: He's here for this [The woods] (Liz, Mason and the deputies are going into the Lockwood's old estate ruins. The deputies are carrying Stefan and Damon) Mason: It's down the stairs to the left Liz: Careful. The wooden bullets and vervein won't keep them down for long. What is this place? Mason: Old slave quarters from the original Lockwood house (They are in the ruins) Liz: Thank you, Mason. I appreciate all you've done. We got it from here Mason: You're gonna kill them right? Liz: Yes. That's why you should go. Here it's the council, not the law. You can't be a party to this. It's for your own protection Mason: Liz, I don't care about... Liz: I do and I'm not asking. Goodbye Mason Mason: Don't take any chances (He leaves) (Caroline and Elena are in the woods looking for Liz, Damon and Stefan but suddenly Caroline stops) Elena: What is it? Caroline: They've been here (She bends down and looks at a plant. There's blood on it) Elena: What? (Mason arrives) Mason: What are you two doing out here? Elena: Have you seen Stefan? Mason: Yeah Elena, I've seen him. Seen Damon too Elena: Where are they? Mason: You don't need me for that. I let your friend here sniff them out (He looks at Caroline) Mason: Does your mother know what you are? I'll happy to tell her (She goes toward him but he catches Elena and strangles her from behind) Mason: Don't be stupid! Necks snap easy around here Caroline: I can take you Mason: Wanna bet? Caroline: Yeah. I do (She rushes over him. Catches him and pushes him against a tree) Caroline: I told you (She kicks him in the leg, throws him on the floor and kicks him on the stomach with strength. He's thrown against the tree and fall on the floor) Caroline: Come on (They leave) (Damon wakes up. Liz shots him on the leg) Liz: This is how it's gonna work. Answer me and you don't get shot, understand? How many of you are they? Damon: Please, please (She shots him again. He screams) Liz: How did you fool us? How do you walk in the sun? (He doesn't answer. She shots Stefan) Liz: I will drag this out painfully Damon: But you're my friend Liz: Our friendship was a lie. Answer me and I'll kill you fast (Elena and Caroline arrive at the ruins) Elena: What is that? (Caroline hears her mother telling to her deputies to kill Stefan and Damon) Elena: Caroline. Caroline, what is it? Caroline: My mom. She's killing them Elena: What?! We have to stop her! Caroline: No, I can't. Elena, she's gonna find out about me (Elena goes into the ruins) (Liz is still in the ruins) Liz: Let's do this. Each with a stake in the heart, then burn them both (They hear someone. One of the deputies is going to check out. Elena punches him with a plank and then goes into the cell) Liz: Elena! What are you doing? Elena: You can't kill them. I'm not gonna let you (They hear noise. The door closes alone) Deputy: What was that? Liz: Who else is with you? (Caroline is here. She kills one of the deputies and then punches the other one) Caroline: Hi mom (Damon and Stefan are now awake. Damon he's finding on one of the deputies and then he checks on Stefan) Damon: You need to drink some deputy blood Stefan: No. I'm gonna be fine. It's gonna take a little bit longer Caroline: Damon's right you know. If it's ever time to break your diet... Elena: He said he didn't want it, okay? Damon: This is the most unfortunate situation. Two deputies dead and you (He looks at Liz) Damon: What am i gonna do with you? Caroline: You won't tell anyone, will you? Mom? Mom? Please. Look, I know that we don't get along and that you hate me but I'm your daughter and you'll do this for me, right? Mom, please. He will kill you Liz: Then kill me Caroline: No! Liz: I can't take this. Kill me now Damon: But you're gonna dry out so painfully (He catches her) Caroline: No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Stefan: Damon, don't! Elena: Damon, please! Damon: Relax guys. No one is killing anybody (He looks at Liz) Damon: You're my friend (He looks at the deputies) Damon: We have to clean this up [Lockwood Mansion] (Jeremy is looking at the moonstone) Jeremy: What is it? Tyler: It's a moonstone. I looked it up online. It's a natural rock but there supposed to have all sorts of supernatural legends attached to them Jeremy: Why didn't you give it to him? Tyler: Because he wants it. I'm a dick that way. It's important to him for some reason but I don't trust the guy so I'm not just gonna hand it to him (Aimee and Sarah arrive) Sarah: Found you! Aimee: Hey, you guys are missing all the drinking Sarah: Oh, I'm sorry. Were you two having a moment? Tyler: No, we're good Sarah: Hey, hey, what is that? (She takes the moonstone) Aimee: Pretty Tyler: Okay, let's not play with the rock Aimee: Well, come and get it Tyler: Look, I'll play along for a little bit but seriously, give it back Sarah: Look in here (Sarah has the stone) Sarah: Snooze, you lose (She runs, he goes after her) Tyler: You're lucky. You're cute when you're drunk Sarah: I want Jeremy to come get it Tyler: Give me a break Aimee: Sarah, don't be a bad drunk Sarah: Jeremy, come upstairs with me. See how a bad drunk I can be Jeremy: I'm good, thanks (Tyler goes on the stairs and tries to takes the moonstone from Sarah's hands. He takes it and she falls and hits her head on the floor) Jeremy: Sarah! Aimee: Sarah, oh my god! Tyler: She fell! Aimee: She's not moving. Oh my god. (Sarah opens her eyes and laugh) Sarah: I fooled you Aimee: Oh my god Sarah: You pushed me on the stairs! Jeremy: Look, he didn't mean it okay? (She gets up and leaves with Aimee) [Salvatore's house] (Caroline arrives with a luggage) Caroline: Hey, sorry that took forever. I just didn't know how long my mom was gonna be here Elena: Damon says it'll take 3 days' tops for the vervein to leave her system. Maybe even sooner (Stefan rejoins the girls) Caroline: Hey! You had some bunny in you? Stefan: Yeah, I'm feeling much better, thank you (Damon in in a cell, in the basement. Liz is on the phone) Liz: A stomach bone. Yeah, it came on fast. I'll definitely be out tomorrow (She looks at Damon) Liz: Or longer. I'll text you. Yeah. Good night (She hangs up and gives the phone to Damon) Damon: Thank you. It's not exactly the Ritz, but it's secure. I brought a good bed camp and once the vervein is worked out of your system, I will compel you, you will forget everything and you will be a free woman (Caroline, Stefan and Elena arrive at the cell and listen do the conversation) Liz: Can you keep Caroline far away from me please? I don't want to see her Damon: She's your daughter, Liz Liz: Not anymore. My daughter's gone Damon: You have no idea how wrong you are about that (He looks at Caroline. She leaves, Elena follows her. Stefan sees the fridge and opens it. He takes a blood pouch and looks at it. Elena arrives) Elena: Stefan, I think that we should... what are you doing? Stefan: Katherine took a little every day to immunize herself. I could do the same with blood. I could learn to control myself on it Elena: but you can't, Stefan. You don't have to Stefan: I almost died tonight, Elena. Because I was too weak Elena: But the last time that you drink human blood... Stefan: I told you I'll find a way to stop Katherine, didn't i? Well this is it, this is the only way because she's stronger than me. And unless I change it, I can't protect you Elena: Can we talk about this later? Stefan: He can hear us wherever we are because he drinks this. This is the only thing that can help me! Elena: Are you serious? Are you pretending to fight? Because I can't tell if... Stefan: No, this is real. No more pretend (She looks at him and leaves) (Caroline is alone in the living room. Elena rejoins her) Elena: You want me to take you home? Caroline: I can't go home Elena: Why not? Caroline: Because I'm scared Elena: Why are you scared? Caroline, you can talk to me Caroline: Katherine's gonna be there and she's gonna want me to tell her everything that happened today. She told me I had to spy on you and report back to her Elena: I know and I've been so mad at you. But then, I tried to put myself in your position so that I could understand why you would do this to me and to Stefan because he's been such a friend to you. Who did she threaten? Caroline: Matt, she threatened Matt and I'm so scared of her Elena! I am so scared of her Elena: And you should be. Caroline, we all should be Caroline: Why is she doing this? What does she want? Elena: That's the million dollar question (She embraces Caroline) [Lockwood Mansion] (Mason is leaving a message to Liz) Mason: Hey Sheriff, its Mason Lockwood. I just want to make sure everything wet okay today. I didn't see you later and... give me a call will you? (He hangs up. Tyler arrives) Mason: Hey Tyler: I almost killed a girl today Mason: What? Tyler: It was an accident. I was being stupid. She's okay though but here I was and just for a moment, for a split second, I hope she'll die. Look, whatever this is inside me, I don't want any part of it. I don't ever want to feel that way again, I won't, and I can't Mason: I know (Tyler gives him the moonstone) Mason: Thank you Tyler: Yeah [Salvatore's house] (Elena goes toward the door but Damon arrives) Elena: Caroline is sleeping on the couch Damon: I heard and you? Elena: I'm going home. What you did for Caroline's mom, that's the Damon who was my friend Damon: Hey, Stefan didn't drink the people blood if you're curious but he needs to and deep down you know that (Stefan is in the Salvatore's library. Elena rejoins him) Stefan: You can come in Elena: Do you really think that you can control it? Stefan: I don't know but if I don't try... Elena: So a little bit every day? Stefan: Yeah, just of a few drops of blood in my system. That gets worth trying Elena: So do I but I don't want you to do it alone (She takes a paper-knife) Stefan: What are you doing? (She cuts herself) Elena: It's you and me, Stefan. Always (He drinks her blood. His face change. She kisses him. His face become normal again) [The woods] (Mason is in the woods. A car is waiting for him. He goes in the car. Katherine is in the car) Katherine: I've been waiting One year ago [Emerald Coast, Florida] (Mason's eyes are yellow. Katherine arrives) Katherine: Mason? What happened? Mason: Jimmy attacked me Katherine: What? Why? Mason: He said that I hit on Marla Katherine: Why would he think that? (She embraces him) Mason: He's dead. I killed him (She looks at Jimmy's body and smiles) Katherine: Everything's gonna be okay Nowadays [The woods] (Mason tries to kiss Katherine but she pushes him) Katherine: What was that stunt today that you pulled with Damon and Stefan Salvatore? Mason: I thought you would be happy about that Katherine: I told you to stay away from them Mason: Why do you even care? Katherine: I don't want you to get distracted. I need you to find the moonstone (He smiles) Katherine: You got it? Mason: I got it (They kiss)

Plan: A: the Mystic Falls picnic; Q: What event does Mason tell Liz about? A: Mason Lockwood; Q: Who is working for Katherine? A: Sheriff Liz Forbes; Q: Who is the sheriff of Mystic Falls? A: vampires; Q: What are Stefan and Damon? A: Caroline; Q: Who's identity as a vampire is exposed to her mother? A: Elena's blood; Q: What does Stefan drink to gain strength? A: bond; Q: What do Jeremy and Tyler start to do? A: the curse; Q: What does Tyler learn that Jeremy knows about? A: a girl; Q: Who does Tyler almost kill? A: a second; Q: How long does Tyler feel like he wants the girl to die? A: the moonstone; Q: What does Tyler give to Mason? A: lovers; Q: What is the relationship between Mason and Katherine? Summary: At the Mystic Falls picnic, Mason Lockwood tells Sheriff Liz Forbes that Stefan and Damon are vampires. Liz and her fellow police officers shoot Stefan and Damon. Caroline and Elena reach the Salvatore's before Liz can kill them, but Caroline's identity as a vampire is exposed to her mother. Liz rejects Caroline as her daughter, and Stefan drinks Elena's blood to gain strength. Caroline confesses to Elena that Katherine had threatened to kill Matt if Caroline didn't spy on Elena and Stefan for her; Elena forgives Caroline. Jeremy and Tyler start to bond when Tyler learns that Jeremy knows about the curse. Tyler almost kills a girl, feeling for a second that he wants her to die. He then tells Mason that he wants nothing to do with the curse, and gives him the moonstone. It is revealed that Mason is working for Katherine, who wants the moonstone, and that they are lovers.

LUCAS: (v.o) Previously on One Tree Hill. [INT. TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL - SCIENCE CLASS - DAY] (Brooke leans over to whisper to Peyton while the teacher talks.) BROOKE: OK, could it get any worse? My love life is non-existent, my parents are having a yard sale to sell everything we own. Being poor and horny is no way to go through life. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL - BENCH - DAY] ANNA: (To Peyton) I'm Anna. PEYTON: You're Felix's sister right? [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. FELIX'S HOUSE - FRONT YARD - DAY] FELIX: (To Brooke) You know, I was thinking about this whole 'Friends with Benefits'. Felix with Brooke. FWB. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL - SUPPLY CLOSET - DAY] BROOKE: Come here. (Kisses him and they fall off-screen.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TREE HILL HOSPITAL - DAN'S ROOM - DAY] DOCTOR: (o.s) Dan has a... heart condition known as HCM. It's a... genetic mutation. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. JULES' HOUSE - DOORSTEP - EVENING] (Jules and Keith stand at the doorstep.) JULES: So what do you say boyfriend? Wanna sleep over? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TRIC - THE BAR - EVENING] (Karen and Andy stand behind the bar at the empty club. He kisses her.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TRIC - THE STAGE - EVENING] (Haley finishes playing her song and the crowd breaks out in applause. Haley looks embarrassed.) CHRIS: You have any idea how many guys in the room wanna nail your wife right now? (Shot of Nathan's face.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TRIC - BACK ROOM - EVENING] (Peyton, with Haley, opens the door marked 'Private' at the back of TRIC and comes across Rick and his friends doing cocaine.) RICK: Relax, it's cool. Peyton and I did a couple lines the other night. Aint that right Peyton? (Haley looks at a guilty Peyton accusingly.) FADE TO BLACK: OPENING CREDITS ROLL: [EXT. FELIX'S HOUSE - DAY] (The camera pans slowly from Felix's house to Brooke's.) BROOKE: (v.o) Someone once said; it's the good girls who keep diaries. (Brooke's head and then Felix's pop out from the back of Felix's house. Brooke inclines her head, indicating that they go to her house.) The bad girls never have the time. (They run across the gap between the houses, clothes falling everywhere. We only see their legs.) Me... I just wanna live a life I'm gonna remember. (They stop to pick up their clothes. (She yells giddily.) Even if I don't write it down. (They run so hard at Brooke's door that they almost break it down. They open it.) BROOKE: If I'd known your mom was gonna come home, I never would have stayed the night. FELIX: (Kissing her as he turns her.) I mean, not that I'm complaining but since when do you spend the night? BROOKE: That was a onetime only bonus for you getting me home from the club. Now come here. (They fall hard on what should have been Brooke's bed only it's not there anymore. They grunt.) BROOKE: Where the hell is my bed?! (She picks up a note on the red shaggy rug where the bed should be.) BROOKE: (Reading) Got a good price on the queen-size. Single bed on its way love mom?! (Angrily drops the paper.) (Looking towards the door.) I STILL LIVE HERE YOU KNOW! FELIX: You know. (Plays with the rug.) We could always shag on the shag. BROOKE: (Scoffs) Moments past Pool Boy. Besides, I have to meet Haley. (Gets off him.) (Felix lifts his head, shirt half on, and gives her a 'What For' look but she doesn't see it. His head drops back onto the rug.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. JAMES SCOTT APARTMENT - PAVEMENT - DAY] (Lucas and Nathan put some overnight luggage into the back of Nathan's car.) LUCAS: Gotta say, good call Nate. Road tripping to Charlotte. NATHAN: Love that NBA expansion. (Lucas laughs and they shut the boot.) NATHAN: Third row, floor, right behind the bench. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. STREETS - DAY] (Birdseye view of Haley and Brooke getting out of Brooke's car. Brooke is holding a box.) HALEY: (Laughing) Anyway, so you take the CD's that you're sick of or never should have bought in the first place and you bring them back and they - BROOKE: And they give me cash? HALEY: Yeah. BROOKE: Maybe I can buy my bed back. (Laughs) HALEY: So, Nathan's going to Charlotte tonight with Lucas and this is my first night alone in the apartment. BROOKE: (Gasps) Do you know what we should do? We should have a slumber party. HALEY: Oh. BROOKE: Seriously, we haven't done that since like, junior high. HALEY: (Reluctantly) I dunno. I haven't done that since... ever. (Laughing it off.) BROOKE: Haley! HALEY: I wasn't popular in junior high. BROOKE: No! Then we have to. This is like a rite of passage. I mean, when did you learn to put on eye shadow and stuff your bra and make out? HALEY: (Smiling) I don't know. BROOKE: OK, I'm calling Peyton. This is going to be great. HALEY: Well, look I-I was kinda looking forward to having a night alone in the apartment. BROOKE: And I was kinda looking forward to being rich but we all adjust don't we? (They laugh and enter the record store.) (Haley nods at Chris.) HALEY: Hey, what's up(!) CHRIS: Hey. (Moves behind the counter.) Alright, what you got? (Drops the pricing tool.) BROOKE: (Passing the box over.) Here you go. CHRIS: (Sets the box down.) Alright. (Flips through the CDs, stopping at intervals.) Crap. (Flips some more.) Crap. (Looks at a CD.) Crap. (Gets to the end.) Crap(!) (Brooke and Haley exchange looks.) CHRIS: (To Brooke.) Lucky for you, crap sells. (Brooke scoffs.) D'ya listen to my demo yet? HALEY: Um... yeah I did. It's - CHRIS: (Pompously) Good; I know. (Brooke looks away, aware that he's flirting with Haley.) I'm working on this other song I could really use some female vocals on. Maybe you could come by the studio and lay something down for me. BROOKE: (Looks at him.) Huh(!) CHRIS: Track. Lay down the track. BROOKE: (Not believing.) (Whispers as she looks away.) Yeah. (Chris switches his gaze to Haley.) HALEY: OK. Yeah... sure. That sounds fine. How's - CHRIS: (Quickly) Tonight. Let me get you the address. (Brooke gapes at Haley.) BROOKE: Hello(!) Tonight, slumber party. HALEY: Oh, I'm sorry. Um... I can say no. (Makes to call Chris.) BROOKE: (Quickly) No(!) It's fine. I'll come over early and set up. HALEY: (Suspiciously) What do you mean 'set up'? BROOKE: (Smiling evasively.) You have no idea. (The camera pans to white.) WIPE TO: [INT. KEITH'S HOUSE - BEDROOM - DAY] (Keith feels space beside him and finds it empty. He sighs and looks over.) KEITH: Oh great(!) (Sits up on his elbows.) (Jules walks in with a smile on her face.) JULES: Hey(!) You're awake. (She has a bag in her hand as she sits at the foot of the bed.) KEITH: I uh... saw you were gone. I thought, maybe...(Shrugs) maybe it was a one-night-stand. (Jules groans and kisses him.) KEITH: But it felt good. You can one-night-stand me anytime. (She laughs.) KEITH: Where'd you go? JULES: (Lifts the bag.) Breakfast. KEITH: Ohhh. Well how'd you get back in? The door locks. JULES: I jimmied it with a credit card. KEITH: I should be afraid, right? (Jules laughs. Keith looks into the bag.) KEITH: Ahh... chocolate croissants. JULES: (Pulling the bag back.) Those are actually for me. KEITH: Uh, there are two. JULES: I know. (Pulls out a bar.) Energy bar's for you. Trust me (Smiles) you're gonna need it. (Throws it at him.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TRIC - DAY] (Peyton throws CDs on top of each other and turns around. Karen walks up into the club and Peyton smiles.) PEYTON: Oh hey! You look beat. KAREN: Oh, I was up all night. First college paper. PEYTON: (Laughs) What are you doing here? Go home. (Turns around with some CDs.) Sleep. KAREN: (Smile fading.) We need to talk. PEYTON: (Smiles at her.) OK. (Turns her head back.) KAREN: Haley told me about the drugs. (Peyton stops and freezes, looking straight ahead like a deer caught in headlights. Karen moves around to stand next to Peyton.) KAREN: Opening night. (Peyton is looking extremely guilty.) This guy Rick was doing coke. PEYTON: (Open-mouthed, realising Karen doesn't know it all.) Oh, uh... yeah. KAREN: Why didn't you tell me? PEYTON: (Pause) I don't know. I'm sorry. KAREN: Look, I know he's got a lotta music connections and I know how important that is to you. (Peyton looks down.) But I won't have drugs in my club Peyton! PEYTON: (Whispering) Of course. KAREN: And I don't expect you to handle everything on your own... but you have to come to me if... anything like that ever happens again. PEYTON: (Stares and then nods.) I will. KAREN: Promise? PEYTON: I promise. KAREN: Good. (Pause while Peyton continues to look guilty.) You know you can always talk to me Peyton. (Peyton looks down as Karen leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. JAMES SCOTT APARTMENT - PAVEMENT - DAY] (Reflection against the car of Haley and Brooke approaching, arm in arm. Lucas drops the hood and they come into view.) BROOKE: It's another mechanic stripper! (Lucas stares.) No... (To Haley) just Lucas. (Haley smiles.) NATHAN: (Comes from the other side.) OK(!) Guess we're off. HALEY: (Claps and walks to Nathan.) Alright! Well go... whoever they are! NATHAN: Bobcats Haley(!) HALEY: Alright, well, I love bobcats. They're so cute. NATHAN: You're such a girl. HALEY: I know. (They kiss.) LUCAS: Can we go now? (Nathan gives Lucas a look.) You saw her, she's back, let's go(!) NATHAN: Come on, man(!) Look, this is the first night we've spent apart since we got married. (Haley smiles and kisses him.) BROOKE: Well...(shrugs) girls are having a slumber party. LUCAS: Really? NATHAN: Oh, that's cool. (Looks down at Haley.) So you won't be alone tonight. HALEY: Yep. NATHAN: What're you gonna do until then? HALEY: Uh...Probably just gonna... hang out with Brooke. (Looks at Brooke, desperately hoping she'll cover.) Right Brooke? BROOKE: (Pauses for a moment.) Yeah(!) (Pause) Just us girls. (Haley smiles but it isn't real. It slips.) FADE TO BLACK: COMMERCIAL SET: [INT. TRIC - DAY} (Peyton walks across the club.) PEYTON: So, find anything good in the lost and found?! (Stops at the bar where Anna stands, looking through a box.) ANNA: Not really(!) (Peyton takes out a pink flower patterned shoe.) PEYTON: OK. (Holds it up.) How wasted does one have to be to go home with one shoe. (Anna laughs.) It's like, at what point do you look down at your foot and say 'hmmm'. ANNA: Eww, I was thinking the same thing about the two thongs in here. (Holds them out with the tips of her fingers before dropping them again.) PEYTON: Eww, two thongs?! (Anna laughs.) Now that is what I call a successful club opening. (The phone rings. Anna laughs and closes the box as Peyton gets out her phone.) PEYTON: (Laughs as she answers her phone.) Hello?! (Cut to Brooke who's in her bedroom on the carpet with a lot of beauty essentials spread around her.) BROOKE: What's so funny? PEYTON: (Through the phone.) oh, hey Brooke. Are you missing any underwear? BROOKE: (Amused) What!? PEYTON: (Through the phone, laughing.) Nothing. Anna's just helping me clean out TRIC. BROOKE: Thanks for the phone call. (Drops nail varnish into the basket.) (Cut back to the club.) PEYTON: What, did you really wanna get up and work this morning? (Cut to Brooke's house.) BROOKE: (Drops more things into the basket.) OK, good point. Well, tonight; Haley doesn't have a husband, I don't have a bed, so we're having a slumber party. (Cut to the club.) PEYTON: Oh, how retro. (Cut to Brooke's bedroom.) BROOKE: I KNOW! You bring the music and your ouija board, I'm bringing the beauty arsenal. (Puts more things into the basket.) (Cut to the club.) PEYTON: How about Anna? (Anna looks at her before continuing to clean up.) Can I bring her too? (Cut to Brooke.) BROOKE: Whatever. Nine o'clock. (Hangs up the phone and puts more things into the basket.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. THE ROAD - DAY] (Nathan and Lucas drive by in the newly fixed up car.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. THE CAR - DAY] NATHAN: (Smiles) This car runs great, man. LUCAS: (Looks at Nathan.) Yeah, not bad right? NATHAN: The best part is; Dan had nothing to do with it. (Lucas laughs.) Do need to replace this tape deck though. LUCAS: Oh, god, definitely. (Reaches into his bag.) But, for now, I got my...(Holds it up.) trusty IPod and cassette adaptor. NATHAN: Nice(!) Fire it up. LUCAS: (Presses the eject button to take the tape out. Nothing happens.) It's stuck(!) NATHAN: What? (Lucas looks at him.) You telling me you didn't check the stereo before we left? LUCAS: (Affronted) I was busy working on the engine. (Nathan smiles and Lucas presses play. A really strange tune plays.) SINGER: #A holiday, (Lucas raises an eyebrow and Nathan looks at him.) A holiday NATHAN: What is this? SINGER: Is the best day, LUCAS: I have no idea. SINGER: An ice-cream day, (Nathan looks at the tape deck.) I am only happy, (Lucas scowls, slightly amused.) SINGER: When I have, A holi- [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. TREE HILL COLLEGE - ENTRANCE - DAY] (Karen runs across the ground with her assignment in her hands.) ANDY: I thought I was gonna have to fail you. KAREN: (Panting) I know(!) (Gives him her assignment.) it's been one of those days. ANDY: (Touching her cheek.) You're flushed. KAREN: Well I ran all the way form the parking lot. And um... I'm a little nervous. ANDY: Bout the paper? KAREN: (Looks at it.) That too. (Smiles.) (She looks around to make sure nobody's watching and then kisses Andy on the cheek. They smile.) ANDY: Well look, the paper's in now. So um... how bout dinner tonight? (They walk.) I know this great place. And we past the hotdog stage. KAREN: I like the hotdog stage. ANDY: I know. That's why I liked you. (She laughs.) I'm ready for an upgrade if you are. KAREN: (Nods) OK, tonight. ANDY: Good, so it's a date then. WIPE TO: [INT. KEITH'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - EVENING] (Jules lies on Keith's lap as they watch TV.) KEITH: Where did you come from? JULES: (Smiles and sits up.) Me? KEITH: (Quietly) Yeah. JULES: Durham. (Sighs) Got a husband and three kids there. KEITH: No, I'm serious. (She laughs.) We never talk about you. JULES: (Smiles) What can I say? I'm from the Midwest, I like my parents, I sell real-estate now and again and uh... oh, I have terrible taste in guys. (They laugh.) There is... one thing you should know about me though. (Seriously.) Very important. KEITH: (A little worried.) OK. JULES: (Pause) I'm starving! (They giggle and hug.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. JAMES SCOTT APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - EVENING] (Peyton and Anna get to Haley and Nathan's apartment door and find it open. Peyton gapes as she pushes it the rest of the way and walks in, Anna at her heals.) PEYTON: OK, that's weird. (Whispering) Haley?(!) (Peyton flips the switch, lighting the room. It's a mess. The light is on the floor and the cushions are everywhere.) PEYTON: Oh my god(!) (Peyton drops her bag and the games and Anna takes a baseball bat out of the rack beside the door. She gives it to Peyton.) PEYTON: (Talking quietly but forcefully.) OK, I think you should know I have a bat(!) ANNA: And, we dialled 911. PEYTON: (Looks at Anna.) Yeah, that too. (Anna holds onto Peyton's arm as Peyton signals that they move into the house. They walk quietly to the bedroom door.) PEYTON: (Quietly) OK, on the count of three. (Holding the bat at the ready.) ANNA: One... two... three(!) (They push the door open and Brooke screams. She's in Nathan and Haley's bed with Felix. Peyton screams as does Anna.) PEYTON: Brooke! BROOKE: Peyton! FELIX: Anna! ANNA: Argh, my eyes! I'm blind! (She quickly moves away from the doorway.) (Peyton glares at Brooke, Brooke groans and covers herself with the covers and Felix smiles. Peyton sighs and leaves the room. The camera freezes on Brooke and Felix still in the bed.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TRIC - EVENING] (Camera focuses on the TRIC logo and pans to Karen standing behind the bar. Rick walks to her.) RICK: Hey, I'm looking for Karen. KAREN: That's me. (He nods.) You're Rick. RICK: (Nods again.) Yeah, what can I do for you? KAREN: You could stay the hell away from TRIC. (He straightens up.) You're not welcome here. (Rick scoffs.) I won't have drugs in my club. RICK: Yeah, well you won't have any customers either. (Karen isn't wavered.) I control every major band on this circuit. You cut me off, you're cutting off your talent. KAREN: (Angrily) We'll be fine! And by the way, the place was full of kids. What's wrong with you? (A bouncer appears behind Rick.) RICK: (Scoffs again.) Dumb move lady. KAREN: (He leaves.) (To herself.) Actually, it's the smartest move I've made all day. (The bouncer glares at Rick and shows him out. Karen smiles.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. JAMES SCOTT APARTMENT - KITCHEN - EVENING] (Peyton pours a glass of water and sets it in front of Anna.) BROOKE: (o.s) What do you want from me? OK, I have no bed and rope burns are so last season(!) (Sits on the stool.) PEYTON: I don't know Brooke; backseats, hot tubs, closets. You've never had a problem before(!) BROOKE: We were horny OK? ANNA: (Groans) Eww. BROOKE: (Looks at Anna for a second and the back to Peyton.) Just promise me you won't tell Haley. PEYTON: You are so washing the sheets. BROOKE: Yeah(!) (Nods) (Felix comes from the back room.) FELIX: OK, who saw me naked? ANNA: I said ewww! Sister in the room, hello! (Felix picks up a tub of one of Brooke's beauty essentials.) FELIX: (Teasing) Huh, hey, I this gonna work for me? You know, coz I got that (Rubs his cheek.) combination skin. BROOKE: (Gets up and pushes him.) No, you have to go! Go! FELIX: Hey, whatever you say. Just give me a second to get my stuff. (Brooke turns and puts the tub back. Peyton glares at Brooke and Anna doesn't know what to do.) BROOKE: (To Anna, cattily.) Hi(!) I'm Brooke. We haven't officially been introduced... but you're dating my ex boyfriend and I'm sleeping with your brother so it looks like we have a lot in common. ANNA: (Unsure) Yeah. PEYTON: (Warningly) Brooke(!) BROOKE: Oh, And you're Peyton's new best friend. (Peyton sighs and looks away.) Sorry, I forgot that part. (Peyton shoots Brooke a look, Anna doesn't know where to look and Brooke just stares. Suddenly, water is heard running from the bathroom. Brooke turns, shocked, in the general direction.) PEYTON: Is that the shower? (Brooke gapes.) Unbelievable(!) (Peyton stands.) FELIX: (From the shower.) Oo, that water is hot and so is Felix, Oo, the water is wet and so is - [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RECORDING STUDIO - EVENING] (Music plays and Haley stands, with earphones, in front of a microphone, waiting for her part to come. She's slightly nervous.) HALEY: #Dancing when the stars go blue, Dancing where the evening fell, (She shows Dancing in my wooden shoes, I a wedding go - (Chris appears and stops the music.) CHRIS: Alright Haley, hold up. I'm just not feeling it. (Haley sighs and takes the earphones off.) CHRIS: Hold up a second OK? (Comes into the recording room.) Alright Haley, listen. A lot of girls can see on-key OK? (She collapses onto a chair.) I'm gonna need something a little bit more from you alright? Something... a bit further south than your brain. You know what I saying? Listen, it's not about technique. It's about giving me something of yourself. Something that no one else gets to see. You can't play it safe in here Haley, I'm not gonna let you. HALEY: OK, well, I'm trying(!) CHRIS: No you're not! HALEY: Yes I am! CHRIS: No you're not, you're really close to something. You know, and you've got the talent but for some reason, you won't go there. (He walks around her.) If you won't go there, (shrugs) maybe you're just wasting my time. HALEY: (Stares at him and then caves.) (Whispers) OK. CHRIS: Come here. (She stands up and sighs.) CHRIS: (To the woman controlling the music.) Play it back. (She walks over to the controls.) Put me in this time. (The music plays.) Just follow along OK? (Haley nods.) HALEY: (Whispers) OK. (Sighs) (The music starts and the camera pans down before cutting back to them.) CHRIS: # Laughing with your pretty mouth,# (To Haley.) Try this one now. HALEY: # Laughing with your, broken eyes, CHRIS: OK, yeah. # Laughing with your, lovers song, HALEY: (Lovers song) TOGETHER: In a lullaby, CHRIS: Alright, now sing with me on this one Hale. TOGETHER: Where do you go when you're lonely, (She looks at the sheet but he takes it from her.) Where do you go when you're blue. HALEY: Where do you go when you're lonely, Where do you go when you're blue, (Chris smiles.) TOGETHER: Where do you go when you're lonely, I'll follow you, Haley: Follow you, CHRIS: Follow you, HALEY: Follow you.# FADE TO BLACK: COMMERCIAL SET: [INT. JAMES SCOTT APARTMENT - KITCHEN - EVENING] (Close up of Brooke using a burner to burn a marshmallow on a metal rod. Peyton closes a cupboard, turns and sighs.) PEYTON: What the hell is Felix doing in there? BROOKE: I dunno. (shrugs) Shaving? (Anna mixes something in a bowl.) PEYTON: What, his legs? He's been in there forever. BROOKE: (Smiling) Yeah, cos your look is so wash and go. PEYTON: (Pulls a face.) Heh(!) BROOKE: Heh(!) (They smile and make more faces.) (All three look to the door as it opens and Haley walks in.) HALEY: Hey you guys. PEYTON: (Guilt written all over her face.) Oh! Haley! BROOKE: Hi(!) HALEY: (Taking her coat off.) Smells good. PEYTON: (Trying to stall.) Where you been? HALEY: Nowhere, I'm just gonna go take a shower. (Takes her tops off as she heads to the bathroom.) PEYTON AND BROOKE: Um! PEYTON: Haley?! (There's a moment where the door opens and Anna, Peyton and Brooke wait. Then suddenly, Haley screams. Brooke cringes. Haley comes running back on-screen, her top still on.) HALEY: (Stops and looks at the three of them.) What?(!) (Points to the door.) Ah! (She runs to them and hisses as she waits for Felix to emerge.) (Felix exits, a towel around his waist, using another one to dry his hair.) FELIX: Ahh... I love slumber parties. (Smiles) (Anna looks down. Haley and Peyton look at Brooke while Brooke scowls. Felix rubs his hair, smiling.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RESTAURUANT - EVENING] (Andy is sitting at the bar, drinking. Karen comes up behind him.) KAREN: I'm not always late. (Kisses him on the cheek.) I promise. ANDY: No worries. (She sits.) You're worth the wait. KAREN: Thank you. (Keith and Jules show up next to them. Jules is laughing at something Keith just said. Karen sees him and her eyes widen.) KAREN: Keith! (Jules and Keith look at the pair, Andy turns and looks at them.) KEITH: Karen. (An uncomfortable silence follows, punctuated by exchanged looks.) JULES: (Waves at Andy.) Hi. ANDY: Hi. (More silence.) JULES: So... this sucks huh? (Karen smiles stiffly.) JULES: What. (Pause) What the hell, I got first round. (Keith smiles.) Drinks? KAREN: (Quickly) Yes! (Andy looks between the two. Karen smiles again.) KEITH: Yeah. (Holds a finger up for service.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. CHARLOTTE - EVENING] (Nathan and Lucas are in Charlotte. They are driving across the busy roads.) NATHAN: Charlotte Bobcats, here we come. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. BASKETBALL STADIUM - EVENING] (The camera focuses on the lit sign showing 'CHARLOTTE BOBCATS' with a cat as a mascot. The mascot, dressed in a red cat suit, rides a tiny motorcycle across the court. The players do back flips, stretches and shoot hoops before the game actually begins. Cheerleaders cheer and Nathan and Lucas find their seats.) (They smiles as the lit signs blink, flash and change. The sign says 'MAKE SOME NOISE'. Lucas puts both arms up, he's the only one doing it, and Nathan claps.) (The game gets underway. Nathan and Lucas watch and clap as the players score basket after basket.) LUCAS: (As one team scores.) Oh! (More playing. Basket after basket is scored and it is obvious that the Bobcats are winning.) LUCAS: That could be you someday. Well... actually, it could be me. You're not good enough. (They laugh as the game continues and the Bobcats score another one. Nathan and Lucas make some noise. Lucas shakes his head, impressed.) NATHAN: D'you see that?! (Camera follows 'Okafor' run across the court.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. JAMES SCOTT APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - EVENING] (Brooke, with a nose strip on, finishes putting the face mask on Haley and Haley frowns.) HALEY: You know, I'm just not clear on this. So the shower at your house is broken and you (Looks at Anna.) had to have Felix come all the way over here and use mine? ANNA: (Paining her toenails.) Um... BROOKE: (Nods) Uh-huh. PEYTON: Brooke(!) (Brooke looks at Peyton and makes a 'shut up!' face. Peyton make one right back.) HALEY: Wait a second. Y-you don't have a bed do you? (Getting it as Brooke looks guilty as hell.) Did you... tell me you didn't have s*x in my bed. Brooke. (Brooke's mouth stays open for a little too long.) BROOKE: I'm already washing your sheets. HALEY: (Looking like she's going to retch any second.) Oh my god(!) Eurgh! Brooke! Eurgh! BROOKE: They already yelled at me, what is the big deal?! HALEY: The big deal is that first of all; you did not thank me for helping you with the CDs. (Brooke opens her mouth to protest.) Second of all; you had s*x IN MY BED! (Brooke point to Haley's bedroom but can't get a word in.) And third; you ate all the brownies. (Brooke puts a piece in her mouth.) ANNA: Actually, I had a couple. HALEY: (Looking at Brooke but pointing at Anna.) That's not the point. (Anna frowns and continues with her nails.) BROOKE: (Smugly) Haley's right. The point id that I've been deceptive. It's not so much that... I lied to anyone's face. (Talking pointedly at Haley, Haley scowls.) It's more about what I didn't say. HALEY: (Throws her head back and groans.) Urgh! OK. There is a big difference between a lie and a little white lie. BROOKE: Really! HALEY: Yeah! PEYTON: (Lifting her green gel eye mask.) OK, wait, what white lie? HALEY: Nothing! BROOKE: (Standing) Haley lied to Nathan! HALEY: (Standing) Not exactly! BROOKE: Yes you did(!) PEYTON: About what?! HALEY: Nothing. PEYTON: Haley. HALEY: (Turning to Peyton.) You know what, if we're talking about bad behaviour, you might wanna sit this one out! (Brooke scowls at Peyton.) PEYTON: (Standing from the couch and approaching.) What is that supposed to mean? HALEY: That's supposed to mean that Peyton's the one you should be looking at, not me. (Anna watches from the couch, intrigued.) BROOKE: Why?! She not the one acting like a perfect-little-Stepford-wife(!) HALEY: (Outraged) Oh! ANNA: Why are you picking on Haley? She's throwing us a slumber party. BROOKE: Actually, she was throwing us a slumber party, (Points at Anna.) you just butted in! PEYTON: Brooke! LEAVE HER ALONE! BROOKE: WHY!? HALEY: What're you gonna do? Snort her? (Brooke looks shocked and Peyton gasps.) HALEY: Listen, I didn't throw this slumber party for you, you threw it for yourself and (Points at Brooke.) you know it! BROOKE: Well, at least I didn't lie to my husband about hanging out with Chris! PEYTON: WOAH! HALEY: Brooke, well... Peyton did cocaine with that Rick guy. PEYTON: Haley! BROOKE: (Turns to Peyton outraged.) WHAT! PEYTON: (To Brooke.) You had s*x in her bed! ANNA: (Trying to bring calm.) OK - BROOKE: (Fuming at Peyton.) WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? CRACK WHORE! PEYTON: SLUT! BROOKE: (Turns to Haley, pointing.) LIAR! (Haley grabs Brooke's nose strip and rips it off. Brooke yells, Peyton screams and Anna laughs.) ANNA: Man, Tree Hill's got some drama. (Open another nail varnish bottle.) (Peyton, Brooke and Haley exchange furious looks.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. BASKETBALL STADIUM - EVENING] (The stadium is clearing out but Nathan and Lucas stand there, smiling. Lucas with his hands behind his head and Nathan rubbing his hands.) LUCAS: That was awesome. NATHAN: Yeah. It was man. LUCAS: You know, if you want to drive back tonight man, I'm so wired I'm not gonna go to sleep for hours. NATHAN: (Looking shifty.) No, nah it's cool. LUCAS: Oh come on. You can see Hales, I can... crash the slumber party. (Laughs) NATHAN: Nah, we can't. Gotta stay the night. LUCAS: OK. (Pause) Why? NATHAN: This trip wasn't just about the game. (Looks at Lucas.) There's something else. (Nathan sighs and Lucas knows that it's serious. Lucas nods.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. ANDY'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - EVENING] (Andy and Karen walk through the dark kitchen with wine glasses in hand. KAREN: Sorry about dinner. ANDY: Oh please. (Karen chuckles.) I'm hoping to break bread with all your ex boyfriends. KAREN: (Pause) He wasn't my boyfriend. ANDY: (Smiles) And yet he asked you to marry him. Interesting. Seems like a nice guy though. KAREN: He is. (Stops and looks up at a painting hanging about his fireplace.) Wow. ANDY: You like? KAREN: What's not to like? You know, I have this print too. ANDY: (Looks at her. Beat, before pointing at it.) It's not a print. KAREN: (Eyes widen and she gasps.) Oh(!) (Andy smiles at looks at it again.) Well, I feel like I'm back in Italy. ANDY: Yeah. I have a house there too. You wanna go? (Karen laughs.) I could blow off school for a week. (Karen yawns unexpectedly.) Or not(!) Is it my company? KAREN: (Quickly) Oh, no, god it's the paper. I... kinda pulled an all-nighter. ANDY: Spoken like a true co-ed. (Smiles and nods.) Since you mentioned it though, come here. (Karen follows him to his office.) Let's just take care of this right now shall we? (Takes off his jacket.) KAREN: (Laughs) Oh boy(!) (He smiles, dumps his jacket and leans to the pile of assignments on his desk.) ANDY: Let's see uh, (Flips through them until he sees Karen's.) right. (Pulls in out and puts it in front of him. He takes a red marker and writes 'A' in capital letters.) (He picks it up and shows it to her. Karen's smile drops as she sees what he did.) ANDY: Congratulations. (He kisses her.) (Karen looks at it for a long time.) ANDY: You need more wine. Stay put, get comfortable. (He starts to head for the kitchen.) KAREN: (Her back to him.) You know, I think I should probably go. (Still looking at it.) (Andy turns back. She looks up, hurt reflected in her eyes.) ANDY: Why? KAREN: (Looks at it again.) I just... (She walks to him, slams her assignment against his chest and walks away angrily.) ANDY: Karen! [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. BASKETBALL STADIUM - BLEACHERS - EVENING] (The stadium is now empty except for Nathan and Lucas. They sit a quarter of the way up on of the bleachers.) NATHAN: You know about Dan's heart condition. It's called HCM and it's genetic. LUCAS: (Nods knowingly.) Which means we might have it. NATHAN: Yeah. This is serious Luke. It's common among athletes too. LUCAS: (Nods, troubled.) What do we do? NATHAN: Well, first of all; if we have it, that's it for basketball. Or any sport really. LUCAS: But what does this have to do with Charlotte? NATHAN: Well the test costs a thousand bucks. There's a hospital here that does free student-athlete screenings once a month. LUCAS: (Sighs and laughs.) And that's tomorrow. (Nathan nods slightly.) And why didn't you tell me about this upfront? NATHAN: I dunno, I... I didn't wanna ruin it; the game, the road trip... us hanging out. (They smile, Lucas nods.) We have appointments tomorrow morning. LUCAS: Ah, come on man, what are the odds of us even having this thing anyway? Huh(!) (Smiles) NATHAN: Fifty-fifty. (Lucas stops and looks at Nathan. Nathan looks at him.) One in two. (Lucas looks at Nathan miserably. Shot of people cleaning the courts and chairs.) FADE TO BLACK: [SCENE_BREAK] COMMERCIAL SET: [INT. JAMES SCOTT APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - EVENING] (Peyton and Anna are sitting on the floor not doing much. Haley stands at the kitchen counter, depressed and with marshmallows and Brooke is sitting in a chair, reading a magazine. No one is saying anything.) (Haley walks past Brooke, holding her marshmallow, a towel wrapped around her. She falls into the chair next to Brooke and sighs.) HALEY: (Not looking at Brooke.) I'm sorry I freaked out on you about the bed. At least I have one. (Brooke still looks sad. Haley looks at her.) BROOKE: (Pouting) I'm sorry I called you a liar. (Haley smiles.) You fibbed to Nathan; it's not a big deal. HALEY: No, it-it is a big deal. BROOKE: (Pause before talking to the room at large.) OK, cease fire! (Anna and Peyton look before putting down CDs and standing.) Girl talk. (Haley lies down in the couch and Brooke taps her on the leg.) BROOKE: Come on. HALEY: I should have told Nathan that I was gonna be with Chris (Peyton and Anna join them on the couch.) and I don't know why I didn't cos, like, the words started coming out of my mouth and then it was just... too late to take it back. PEYTON: OK, you don't have feeling for Chris, do you? HALEY: (Smiling honestly.) No. It's just the first time I've ever wanted something for me. It's not for my parents, it's not for Nathan, it's just... for me and Chris can... help me get it. PEYTON: (Smiles) So... what's wrong with that? HALEY: Exactly! I-I don't know why I should feel embarrassed for saying that I know what I want and I'm gonna go after it like... ANNA: (Sadly) Like a guy. (Everyone looks at Anna.) HALEY: Nathan never apologises or... or lies for what he wants. I mean... I don't know why I feel like I had to. BROOKE: Haley, trust me, you can go after what you want and still be a girl. HALEY: I know. I totally know and that why this is so stupid(!) (Anna nods and Peyton looks down.) BROOKE: On the topic of stupid, (Sits up and sighs as she looks at Peyton.) cocaine, P. Sawyer? PEYTON: (Sadly) I'm an idiot. BROOKE: (Shakes her head slightly.) Well you're not gonna do it again, right? PEYTON: No! No. Um... I don't want to. But... (Anna looks, Haley's sad and Brooke waits.) I'm not going to. BROOKE: OK. (Nods) (Peyton nods.) HALEY: I'm really sorry. (Peyton looks up.) Sorry I just blurted that out. I... (Shakes head) I should have talked to you about it at the club but I just... I just didn't wanna handle it. PEYTON: No. It's um... It's my fault. But I just... really want us all to be... good enough friends that we can talk about stuff. You know? Even when it's ugly... especially then. HALEY: (Softly) Yeah. (Shot of Brooke still sad. She sticks her hand out to Peyton and she takes it. Peyton smiles but it's sad and she's close to tears.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. BASKETBALL STADIUM - EVENING] (Fans queue up outside of the stadium, behind metal railings, waiting for the stars to come out. Nathan and Lucas walk down, past the groups of people and stop at some railings.) LUCAS: So just like that? Get the test, find out we can never play again. NATHAN: (He's holding a red jersey.) Yep. (A camera goes off. Lucas laughs.) What? LUCAS: It's just Dan! You know?! NATHAN: Oh, tell me about it. I can emancipate myself all I want but... the guy still finds a way to control my life. (Lucas smiles and shakes his head.) (Okafor comes down to where Nathan and Lucas are standing.) NATHAN: (Holding out his jersey.) Hey, Emeka, you played a great game man. OKAFOR: (Takes the jersey.) Thanks. LUCAS: So, how does it feel to be out there? You know, finally making it to the league. OKAFOR: (Looks at them for a beat.) It was a dream-come-true. (Signs the jersey.) What I was born to do. You guys play? LUCAS and NATHAN: (Both nod.) Yeah. LUCAS: We love it. OKAFOR: (To Lucas.) You gotta bulk up a little bit if you wanna play in the league. (Lucas laughs.) NATHAN: (Smiling.) Yeah, he's skinny. OKAFOR: (To Nathan.) You too. (Nathan freezes and looks at Lucas who makes a 'ha ha' noise and covers his mouth.) NATHAN: Yeah, well he's got no left. LUCAS: (Looking 'up' at Nathan.) You got no range. NATHAN: (Frowns) What(!) (Okafor laughs and shakes his head.) OKAFOR: Please tell me you guys aren't team mates. (Nathan stares open-mouthed as he takes his jersey back.) LUCAS: Nah, it's worse; we're brothers. OKAFOR: Right, well, (Pats Lucas' shoulder.) you guys... roll strong and hit those weights. NATHAN: Thanks man. (Nathan and Lucas look at the jersey that Okafor signed.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. JAMES SCOTT APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - EVENING] (Peyton, Brooke and Anna are on the floor amidst a lot of pillows and duvets.) PEYTON: OK, so... are we going to talk about your little 'arrangement' with Felix? The 'Friends with Benefits' thing. ANNA: (Looking down.) Do we have to? It's kinda foul. (Haley appears with a bowl of heaped popcorn.) BROOKE: What's foul about it? I mean, besides... Haley's linens. (Haley, Anna and Peyton makes equal sounds of disgust. Peyton slaps Brooke's leg.) PEYTON: Come on! BROOKE: Sorry(!) PEYTON: No. But seriously, like, I know you're gonna give me your whole... 'I can have s*x like a guy' speech but... its crap. BROOKE: (Defensive) Why? You think I'm gonna let myself get hurt again? PEYTON: I dunno, maybe. BROOKE: At least I'm having s*x. I d- PEYTON: Yeah, with a guy that doesn't even respect you enough to have a real relationship with you. (Turning to Anna.) Anna, I'm... I'm really sorry, OK, but everything is on Felix's terms. BROOKE: I gave him the Writer so they're my terms. PEYTON: But it was his idea! (Brooke looks away saddened.) HALEY: Brooke? Don't you wanna fall in love? BROOKE: Yeah, I do. Some day, OK? HALEY: (Soberly) Why not now? (Peyton looks at Brooke.) BROOKE: Look, Tutor Wife, I love you but if it was up to you, we'd all be getting our marriage licence with our drivers licence and I- HALEY: I'm not talking about marriage. I'm just talking about... falling in love. BROOKE: And I'm tired of feeling bad! OK? I'd rather feel nothing. It's... better, it's easier. PEYTON: (Interrupting) No. it is not better Brooke! Like... it's not you! Ok, I admire you so much for the chances you take but... this just doesn't seem like you. (Brooke looks on, sad.) It's less than you. BROOKE: It's just about sex- PEYTON: OK, we both know... s*x is never just s*x. ANNA: I love my brother but there is a double standard for girls and there always will be. BROOKE: Yeah, and I'm saying screw the double standard! ANNA: That's good Brooke. You should say it. And so should I and every other girl who is tired of playing their game... by their rules. Don't be too fat... or too thin or too... dark or too light... don't be too sexual or too chased or too smart or too dumb! Be yourself. (Looking sardonic.) But make sure you fit in. (Everyone looks around, not talking, speechless. The camera pans for a bit.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. ROE RESIDENCE - HALLWAY - EVENING] (Shot of framed pictures of a younger Lucas. The phone rings. Karen answers it.) KAREN: Hello? ANDY: Whatever I did, I'm sorry. KAREN: (Sighs) Look, Andy, I'm exhausted and I don't wanna say something I might regret. ANDY: Obviously I already have. Let me come over. KAREN: No(!) It's late and by the time you get here... (Shakes head.) No. (There a tap at her window. She turns and sees Andy standing there. Hanging up the phone, she opens the door. Andy walks in, her assignment in hand and no phone in sight.) ANDY: Now I've been trying to figure out what happened and, uh, I've narrowed it down to, like, this paper or... I don't know; you're psychotic or something. (Karen looks at him.) And I don't think you're psychotic. KAREN: (Still upset, takes the paper.) Yu didn't even read it and you gave me an 'A'! In your bedroom! ANDY: I did read it. KAREN: Then you should know it doesn't deserve an 'A'! I mean, I banged this out in one night; it is practically my first draft! ANDY: Karen(!) KAREN: Look, Andy, (Pause) This is important to me! Going to school, (Pause) and I have to know that I can do this and I'm not gonna compromise it by seeing you. I can't! ANDY: Your paper is good Karen! And you instincts are great! OK, so maybe you haven't memorised every stupid text book principle but you already... have two successful businesses up and running, right now. KAREN: Yeah, but I was rushed, I was distracted! ANDY: OK, so maybe it isn't gonna be as hard as you think. Maybe being a-a mom and a business woman has prepared you for this in ways that you don't even recognise. And maybe... maybe you just need to have a bit more confidence. (Stops and takes a deep breath.) In yourself... and in me. (Karen looks at him, deflated.) Now I'll have one of my colleagues grade that paper if that's what you want. (Pause) But you deserve that 'A' Karen. (Pause) And I know how important that is to you, I-I know. (Steps closer.) I would never do anything to compromise that. (Karen rushes forward and kisses him.) ANDY: Lucas home? KAREN: (Whispering) No, he's in Charlotte for the night. ANDY: (Looks at her for a second.) Where's this print of yours? KAREN: It's in my bedroom, it's in my bedroom. (Drags him to her bedroom while kissing him.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. JULES' HOUSE - KITCHEN - EVENING] (Jules and Keith sit on the floor, in front of the open refrigerator with food and bowls spread around them.) KEITH: (Opens a beer bottle.) Some night, huh? JULES: It was pretty great wasn't it? KEITH: No, it was awful. (Jules laughs.) But... somehow, with you it wasn't so awful. JULES: Awww, you're such a sweetie. KEITH: I just... I feel so much better... lighter somehow. JULES: (Smiles) Good. (Pours cereal, on top of her ice-cream, in a bowl.) Cos you're gonna need room... for my strawberry ice-cream and coco pebbles. KEITH: (Looks at the concoction.) Yikes. (She holds out a spoonful to him.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Brooke feeding Anna some ice-cream.) BROOKE: OK, I've never had a problem that ice-cream couldn't solve, and I've had some problems. HALEY: (Shuts the refrigerator, syrup in her hands.) OK, I've never had a slumber party (Puts the syrup on the table.) so I'm gonna say this (Uses a remote to turn the music on.) sob-fest is over! PEYTON: Alright, we'll see, what d'ya wanna do? HALEY: (Smacking Peyton from behind with a pillow.) Pillow fight! PEYTON: (Pauses, eyes wide.) Oh, it is on now! (Turns and runs for a pillow, Haley hits her again.) (Peyton takes Haley down. Brooke and Anna join in and they have an all out pillow war. The popcorn goes flying, pillows tear and feathers go flying everywhere.) HALEY: Oh, my head! (More pillows tear and happy screams fill the room.) PEYTON: Oh my... god! (they all collapse and Brooke looks up happily as feathers come down around her.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CHARLOTTE - HOTEL - EVENING] (Lucas lies down on the bed. Nathan is in his own bed and the room is dark.) LUCAS: (Sighs twice. Looks at Nathan) Sleeping? NATHAN: (Pause) No. LUCAS: I keep thinking about Haley. (Pause) She must be scared about all this. NATHAN: (Pause) I haven't told her yet. (Lucas and Nathan look at each other before turning back and looking at the ceiling.) NATHAN: (Sighs) Till I get the test results and figure out what I'm gonna do... I wanna protect her. She'll probably be pissed about that but... I think it's for the best. (Birdseye view of Nathan and Lucas lying in their respective beds.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. CHARLOTTE MEDICAL CENTER - EST SHOT - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CHARLOTTE MEDICAL CENTER - HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY] (Nathan sits on the doctor's chair as he sticks heart monitors to Nathan's chest. Nathan looks down and watches him.) DOCTOR: We'll do this first, then you go for the blood test. (Nathan nods.) Just relax. (Turns to the monitor.) LUCAS: (Worriedly) You OK? NATHAN: Yeah, you? LUCAS: (Looks away.) Yeah, just... thinking about my life. Basketball's such a... big part Nate. I... I don't wanna give it up. NATHAN: (Shrugs) I felt the same way before I got married. Basketball was the most important thing to me... it was the only thing. (Pause) But now Haley is. (Smiles) And I owe it to her to find out. (Lucas smiles.) DOCTOR: (Turns back.) OK, go ahead and lie back. (Nathan lies back on the chair. The doctor is holding an internal scanner in one hand.) (To Lucas.) You're next. (He puts the scanner right on Nathan's heart and looks at the screen. Nathan looks down at it.) LUCAS: (Anxious before saying, resolutely.) I'm sorry... (Nathan looks at him, startled.) I don't wanna know. (Looks at the doctor and then at Nathan before turning to the door. He opens it and is half way out before he turns to look at Nathan for a long moment. He turns and exits, closing the door behind himself.) (Nathan looks at the door.) FADE TO BLACK: COMMERCIAL SET: [INT. CAR - DAY] (Nathan and Lucas are back in the car and heading for Tree Hill.) NATHAN: It's a big risk, Luke, not taking this test. (Lucas is looking out of the window.) You know the odds. LUCAS: And what about the risk of never feeling alive again? NATHAN: As opposed to never being alive again? (Looks at Lucas.) (Lucas shakes his head, smiling sardonically.) NATHAN: There's more to life than sports. Trust me. LUCAS: After my accident I promised myself... (Shakes his head.) I wouldn't be afraid anymore. NATHAN: (Looks at him sympathy written all over his face.) Of dying? LUCAS: (Looks at him.) Yeah(!) Dying... living too. (Nathan looks at him. There's no way he can argue.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. ROE RESIDENCE - BEDROOM - DAY] (Karen is in her bed, asleep. She turns around and bumps into Andy. He's in her bed with his chest uncovered and his arms about his head.) KAREN: Oh! I'm sorry. (Laughing) I'm not used to having someone else in my bed. ANDY: (Smiles and sighs happily.) Sleep well? KAREN: (Makes a noise of assent.) Like a baby. (Looks at him.) ANDY: What? KAREN: I dunno, you just... you seemed more attractive last night. Huh, must have been the wine. (Makes to turn around.) ANDY: (Props himself up on an elbow.) Is that right? KAREN: (Laughs) Yeah. ANDY: That's too bad, you're stuck with me. (Puts his hand under the cover to tickle her.) KAREN: (Laughing) No, oh. (Laughs) Oh I hope so! (They kiss.) (The camera pans up to show the print of the painting in Andy's house. It is from the 'Leone Museum of Art'.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KEITH'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY] (Jules opens Keith's door and sneaks into his house, credit card and bag in hand.) KEITH: (Coming into the shot.) OK, stop thief(!) JULES: (Smiling) A thief break in to steal, (Ha laughs.) I break in with treats. KEITH: Well... I've got something for you too. JULES: I'm training you well. (He pulls open a drawer and takes out a key, holding it out to her.) JULES: Wow, a key. KEITH: You can use it to come see me, or... burgle the place, (Shrugs) whatever. JULES: (Turns slightly and smiles.) Big step! KEITH: Oh well, it doesn't have to mean anything. But it'll keep my landlord from asking about the hot cat burglar who comes and goes. (Stops in front of her.) So to speak. (Jules smiles and they kiss.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. JAMES SCOTT APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY] (Birdseye view of Haley lying on the floor with feathers in her hair and on in her mouth. She fidgets and moans, opening her eyes and spitting the feather out disgustedly.) HALEY: (Groaning) Oh... my gosh(!) (Brooke sits on a stool at the kitchen counter, smirking at Haley, with a tub of ice-cream.) HALEY: Urgh(!) Do you think there's such a thing as a sugar hangover? (Brooke shrugs and makes a slight noise before getting up.) BROOKE: I think what you need is a little taste of the snake that bit ya(!) (Kneels in front of Haley, smiling.) HALEY: Ice-cream for breakfast? BROOKE: It's Butter-pecan. HALEY: (Smiles and gives in.) Alright. (Brooke gives her an extra spoon.) (Brooke eats a bit.) (Anna is standing on the balcony and Peyton approaches from behind with a cup of coffee.) PEYTON: So... weird night, huh? ANNA: Actually... it was fun. (Peyton smiles.) Thanks for inviting me Peyton. (Peyton nods) I was really worried about not making any friends here, but... I think... I might have made some good ones. (Peyton laughs.) And, if you ever need someone to talk to. PEYTON: (Nods) Thanks Anna. I'm glad you came. (Brooke and Haley also enter the balcony, Peyton sees them.) PEYTON: Uh-oh(!) (Laughs) BROOKE: (Walks to Anna.) So, neighbour girl... (Stops next to her.) Looks like we have a few things in common after all. I'm sorry I was kind of a witch before. ANNA: (Smiles) It's OK. It's hard to let new people in sometimes. I'm used to it. BROOKE: Well, don't get too used to it. (Indicates Peyton and Haley.) You're with us now. (Peyton laughs and Anna smiles. Peyton pulls a feather out of Haley's hair. She holds it out and blows it away. Haley blows too and Brooke uses her hand to waft it away. They laugh.) PEYTON: (Messing Haley's hair up.) You're a mess! [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CAR - DAY] (Nathan and Lucas are still on the road. There is a bit of tension between the two.) LUCAS: (Frowning) I know you don't understand what I'm doing, but I need to ask you a favour. NATHAN: (Sighs and nods.) OK. LUCAS: (Looks at Nathan.) If my mom ever asks, I got the test and I'm fine... and the same goes for Haley alright? NATHAN: (Looks at him.) If that's what you want. LUCAS: Thanks. (Nathan is obviously struggling with that. Lucas puts the music back on and Nathan smiles. They sing/talk along.) SINGER: #Holiday, NATHAN, LUCAS and SINGER: Holiday, It's the best day, It's an ice0cream day, (That camera pans up.) NATHAN, LUCAS and SINGER: I am only happy, When I have, Holiday, holiday, holiday# [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SAWYER RESIDENCE - PEYTON'S BERDOOM - DAY] (Peyton and Brooke enter Peyton's bedroom, laden down with games and whatnot. Brooke yawns. They groan as they unload onto Peyton's. Peyton dumps her bag onto her computer chair and presses her answer phone button.) ELECTRONIC VOICE: Saturday, nine thirty-two p.m. RICK: Hey, TRIC, we need to talk. (Peyton's eyes widen and Brooke's head lifts. ELECTRONIC VOICE: End of messages. (Brooke looks at Peyton, Peyton turns away, mouth open.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. JAMES SCOTT APARTMENT - KITCHEN - DAY] (Haley sits in the dark room with the laptop on, she's listening to the song she and Chris recorded.) FLASHBACK TO: [INT. RECORDING STUDIO - EVENING] (Chris and Haley stand in front of the microphone, singing.) CHRIS and HALEY: #Where do you go when you're lonely, Where do you go when you're blue,# (Chris snatches her papers and tosses it aside, pointing at the mic.) END OF FLASHBACK: [INT. JAMES SCOTT APARTMENT - KITCHEN - DAY] (The song continues to play as Haley sits there, frowning, with her head propped up on one hand. The door opens and Nathan enters.) HALEY: (Discreetly shutting the laptop.) My husband! NATHAN: Hey(!) (Drops his bag and takes his shoulder bag off.) What was that? HALEY: (Evasively) Oh, just a works in progress. (Waves it away.) I don't want you to hear it yet. (She stands and walks around the counter.) NATHAN: (Smiling) OK. HALEY: Well? Did you have fun with Lucas? (Hugs him.) NATHAN: (Pause) Yeah(!) Yeah, we had a great time. HALEY: Good. NATHAN: How bout you? HALEY: Hmmm, good. (Kisses him and puts her head on his chest.) Really good. (She frowns, depressed, but he can't see her.) (Nathan smiles and rests his chin on her head.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. ROE RESIDENCE - KITCHEN - DAY] (Lucas walks into the kitchen, scratching his head.) LUCAS: Mom!? I'm home! (He walks to her bedroom door and makes to knock but stops when he heard her inside, laughing. He frowns as he listens. He hears Andy's voice inside and smiles while any normal kid would be emotionally scarred. He back away from the door.) KAREN: (From inside the bedroom.) Roe. Yes professor? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. FELIX AND ANNA'S HOUSE - FELIX'S BEDROOM - DAY] (Felix stands in front if his mirror, messing with his gelled hair. Ana comes up behind him and he sees her in the reflection. She crosses her arms and stops at the doorjamb.) FELIX: (Smiling) Hey, how was the slumber party? ANNA: (Smiles) As a matter of fact, it was great. Not thank to you. FELIX: (Frowning slightly.) What?(!) ANNA: You caused a lot of problems Felix. FELIX: Ah, they'll get over it. (Looks down.) ANNA: You know, Felix, you do this everywhere we go. (He turns to her.) And girls fall for it because they think that you're cute... or funny or that they'll actually... get something out of it... other than a bad reputation. (Felix scowls at her and turns back to the mirror.) I like these people. (Pause) I like Brooke. (He looks at his twin through the mirror.) And I really don't like you for not caring about her. (She turns and starts to walk away.) FELIX: (Softly but honestly.) I do care about her. (Anna stops and turns back to him. He's still looking at her through the mirror. Long pause.) I really... like her Anna. (Pause) For real, OK? (Anna looks on.) But it's against the rules. I don't know what to do. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAVIS RESIDENCE - BROOKE'S BEDROOM - DAY] (Brooke walks tiredly into her bedroom with a red pillow in one hand and covers in the other. She drops everything, including her bag, and looks at her single bed. There's a throw pillow and some cover on the bed. She sits on it and falls down, the rest of the way, miserably. Sighing, she turns and looks straight ahead.) (Camera pans up to her see-through yellow curtains.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. THE RIVERCOURT - DAY] (That camera pans down from the sky to Lucas who stands on the court, shooting hoops. Nathan walks onto the court and Lucas catches his ball, stopping. He throws the basketball at Nathan. They look at each other as Nathan walks up to him.) NATHAN: I got the test results back. (Lucas nods once, waiting nervously.) I'm fine. (Lucas continues to look at Nathan and nods. There's a long pause.) LUCAS: One in two right? (Nathan nods slightly and Lucas loses even the tiniest of smiles. Nathan gives him his basketball back and Lucas accepts it.)

Plan: A: a slumber party; Q: What do the girls of Tree Hill have? A: secrets; Q: What is revealed at the slumber party? A: bonds; Q: What is made at the slumber party? A: a Bobcats' basketball game; Q: What is the reason for Nathan and Lucas' trip to Charlotte? A: free HCM tests; Q: What is a surprise for Lucas? A: HCM; Q: What heart condition does Dan have? A: Dan; Q: Who has a genetic heart condition? A: a fight; Q: What happens when Karen suspects Andy is giving her good grades because of their relationship? A: Marianne Faithfull; Q: Who wrote the song that inspired the episode? Summary: The girls of Tree Hill have a slumber party, secrets are revealed and bonds are made. Meanwhile, Nathan and Lucas road trip to Charlotte for a Bobcats' basketball game and free HCM tests (a surprise for Lucas), a genetic heart condition that Dan has. Karen and Andy have a fight when she suspects that he is giving her good grades because of their relationship. This episode is named after a song by Marianne Faithfull .

We're breaking up. It is not working out between us. We're breaking up. Not here. Not in front of the kids. We're breaking up. I can tell. I'm a doctor. You know we're breaking up, right? Oh, yeah. I have to break up with both of you. What? You know we're breaking up, right? Oh, yeah. Cat: It's not working for me. It's over. Glenn: Again? Cat: It's over. Owen: Again? Cat: Okay, don't be so. Dramatic. We're breaking up. Dr. Von Sydow: We're break-- Okay. I'm sorry. I've forgotten your name. Cat: We're breaking up! Blake: I can't hear you! Cat: No, I know that you can. Hear me, 'cause I can hear you. We're breaking up. Okay. Cat: It's over. Will you e-mail me? 'cause I might forget. Cat: Things haven't been Working out, and I just -- I'm breaking up with you. Beat you to it. Boom! Cat: We're breaking up. Glenn: Huh? Can't it wait 20 seconds? [ gasps ] 10 seconds. Cat: No. I got to go. Glenn: Aah! Wait! [ mid-tempo music plays ] sal: Attention, staff -- There's a gigantic snake moving Below the elevators. Cat: Love. Why is it that when you're in It, you can't remember not Being in it? And when you're not in it, it's Like, "what is it?" Why is it not just in and of. Itself, in or out? [ sighs ] I should do my own podcast. Nicky: This looks like Esperanza the maid. well, it's like a big maid. And a little maid. Nicky: I don't like chocolate. People. oh, don't say that in public, Honey. Cat: Hey. dr. Black, you spend a lot of. Time treating nicky, but his. Advanced-aging disease seems to. Be getting worse. Nicky: I have gout. Cat: Why don't you go on down. To the cafeteria and get us an. Eight-pack of smirnoff ice, Yeah? can you get on with the exam, Please, before nicky gets any. Older? Cat: God, look at those eyes. Nicky: I have heat vision! Cat: [ laughs ] God, I just wish I knew you when. You were young. he's 6. Cat: Well, then I wish I knew. You when you were 4. Nicky: Here's a question. Cat: What? Nicky: Are space bugs real? Cat: [ laughs ] Do you like new experiences? [ zipper opens ] Here we are. what are you doing? It's cold in here. Cat: It's fine. no, it's not. Glenn: What's going on here? Lola: Oh, that's cat's new. Boyfriend. Glenn: Boyfriend? She just broke up with me. Lola: Um, a month ago. Glenn: Hey, she just tried. Kissing me two weeks ago. Lola: Well, she'll date. Anything. No offense to me. Glenn: None taken. Lola: Remember when she dated Josh brolin? Glenn: Remember when she. Dated josh brolin's character in "goonies"? Lola: Remember when she dated. That sculpture of our hospital's. Founder, mr. Childrens? Glenn: In "goonies"? Lola: No, he wasn't in "goonies." Glenn: He wasn't in "goonies"? Who was it? Who -- Oh, you know who I'm thinking. Of? Lola: Huh? Glenn: Josh brolin. Lola: [ scoffs ] She'll date anything. What does that make us? Glenn: The two hottest. Doctors in here. Lola: You are so true. I feel dizzy. Glenn: I want to get deep. Inside of you. Chief: Congratulations, Dr. Von Sydow. You are the first doctor from. Childrens ever to receive the. Nobel prize. Dr. Von Sydow: Well, it was. Just for medicine. They offered me the peace prize, But I turned it down 'cause I. Don't want the bitches to think I'm a gaylord. Chief: Well, max, I'm [scoffs] very busy, so... Dr. Von Sydow: Right. I'm audi rs4 with the gold. Package. [ sniffs ] M.S., right? Chief: Excuse me? Dr. Von Sydow: You have m.S.? Chief: A touch. Dr. Von Sydow: Probably a. Little parkinson's in there, Too, right? Chief: Little bit. Dr. Von Sydow: How much. Cerebral palsy do you have? Chief: I have a splash. It's going around. Why? Dr. Von Sydow: You sitting. Down? I can cure you. Leave the pee. Okay. Careful. You know I can't fix your. Handicapped emotions, right? [SCENE_BREAK] Cat: Previously on "childrens hospital"... and so it is my great. Pleasure and honor to open up. Childrens hospital's very own. Genital ward. [ chuckles ] Glenn: Okay, I-I'm sorry. I just got to get my head. Wrapped around this. So, you're saying that there is. A law that says we cannot test. New drugs on rare pandas? that's what I am saying. Glenn: Really? mm-hmm. Glenn: Aah! W-while we're on the subject, Can I ask you another question? mm-hmm. Glenn: Is there a law. Against jerking off in a. Government-office cubicle? this genital ward will put. Childrens hospital on the. Forefront of modern...Genital. Technology and genital research. Dr. Von Sydow: You sitting. Down? I can cure you. [ mid-tempo music plays ] [ both sigh, chuckle ] Chief: You know that visiting. Doctor, the neuro-specialist? Owen: Dr. Max Von Sydow? Yeah, I heard he won a. Nobel peace prize. Funny -- he doesn't look like a. Fag. Chief: [ chuckles ] He says he can cure me. Owen: What?! Hold on, chief. If he does that, you might lose. Your sexy strut. Chief: [ chuckles ] Strut. Maybe, but I have no feeling in. My pelvis. Owen: I'll feel that [bleep] For you. Chief: [ sighs ] You're sweet. But I want to be normal, owen. I-I want to be like everyone. Else. Owen: [ groans ] That's a kick in the nuts to all. Those young girls out there that. Were never called "special" or "crippled" or "handi-crippled." Chief: [ laughs ] Bet you say that to all the. Girls. Owen: N-no. I don't. Chief: Oh, yeah. I guess you wouldn't. Owen: I don't know other. Handicapped people. Chief: Right. [ sighs ] Owen: Chief, you have a gift. Please, don't ruin it. Chief: [ sighs ] Owen: Now, how about that. Hand job? [ metal clicking ] [ up-tempo rock music plays ] [ door closes ] Nicky: Dora? Cat: Hi. Sorry to wake you. I just want to get some alone. Time while your mom is at her. A.A. Meeting. Nicky: Can you look under the. Bed for dracular? Cat: Oh, yeah. I'm gonna look under everything. Nicky: I got to go peep. Cat: Can't you wait five. Minutes? Nicky: I can count to 100. Cat: Okay. Nicky: One... Two... Three... Oh, yeah. Cup the balls. Blake: Hey! I'm challenging you to a "healing power of laughter"-off. [ horn honking ] You have one week to perform a. Successful operation using only. The healing power of laughter. If you fail, you hang up your. Balloony pants forever. [ horn honks ] I won't fail. [ horn honking ] Ooh, I won't. [ horn honking ] Fine. [Bleep] If I fail... I leave medicine altogether. [ horn honks ] No. You go [bleep] yourself. Sal: Attention, staff. I am speaking on the p.A. System. That's what I'm doing right. Now in a clear and authoritative. Voice. [ elevator bell dings ] Cat: [ sighs ] Glenn: That's it. This kid's getting a vasectomy. Lola: [ unenthused ] no. Don't. Nicky: Diego? My mom says that israel's an. Outdated concept. Rob: Thank you for watching. These two episodes of "childrens hospital." A lot of people ask me where I got the idea for "childrens hospital," and. It's a funny story, actually. Uh, my daughter -- my 2-year-old. Daughter dislocated her. Shoulder, and we had to bring. Her to a children's hospital. And I just remember, like, the. Waiting room was terrifying. It was, uh, full of nervous. Parents, most of them crying, You know, and, uh... All pale. This isn't the funny part. But, um, this gurney -- this. Tiny little gurney comes. Crashing through the door, and. It's surrounded by doctors and. Nurses, and they're yelling, and. They look really scared, and. There's this...Tiny body on. The gurney. The funny part's coming. And, uh, and there's this. Life flight pilot, this. Helicopter pilot behind the. Gurney. And, uh, and he looks at me, And he goes, "mondays, right?" [ laughs ] He didn't actually say that. So, then I made a tv show about it.

Plan: A: Fraser; Q: Who begins treatment to correct his walking style? A: Lewis; Q: What is the name of the senior staff nurse who has a challenging day? A: a young patient; Q: Who refuses to take his medication? Summary: Fraser walks on his tiptoes and begins treatment to correct his walking style. Meanwhile, senior staff nurse Lewis has a challenging day as a young patient refuses to take his medication.

[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is looking around the shop as Phoebe returns from getting some more coffee.] Rachel: Phoebe? Phoebe: Yeah? Rachel: Look at that guy by the window, wow! Phoebe: He's awfully short and I think he's talking to himself. And to be completely honest, he's not that good in bed. Rachel: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean it's like every guy I see-I mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally that's not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way I'm feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack. Phoebe: Wait a second! This is about the fourth month of your pregnancy, right? Rachel: Yeah. Phoebe: This is completely normal, around the fourth month your hormones start going crazy. Rachel: Really?! So this has happened to you? Phoebe: Oh absolutely yeah! Oh and keep in mind, now, I was carrying triplets so in, y'know, medical terms I was-I was thrice as randy. Rachel: Wow! This explains so much! Last weekend, I went from store to store sitting on Santa's lap. Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout of Evander Holyfield from a Foot Locker. Rachel: Ah. Phoebe: Yeah. Rachel: Well, y'know what? I go see my doctor tomorrow, I'll ask her about this. Maybe she can give me a pill or something. Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, that's what you need a good...pill. Opening Credits [Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are there as Mona enters.] Mona: Hey! (To Joey) Hey! Ross: Hi! Mona: Hi! Look! I got our pictures developed from Rockefeller Center. Ross: Oh great! Hey-hey Joey, do you want to check out pictures of me and Mona ice skating? Joey: Oh uh, ordinarily I would love too, but I am just swamped right now. (Brushes something off of his shirt and looks around, but doesn't move from his chair.) Ross: Hey where-where are the pictures that creepy pretzel vendor took of us together? Mona: Oh yeah, probably at the end. (Flips to the end.) Oh my God! He only took pictures of my breasts! Joey: I'm missin' picture time?! (Jumps over to look, Ross glares at him and he retreats.) Phoebe: (sitting down next to Ross) Y'know she has a face Ross! Mona: Okay. Okay, here's a good one of us. Ross: Wow! That is a good one! Wow, it looks like a, like a holiday card y'know, with the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow. Mona: Y'know, every year I say I'm gonna send out holiday cards and I never do it. Do you wanna, do you wanna send this one out together? Ross: (pause) Together? Like-like to people? Mona: Yeah, y'know. Happy holidays from Mona and Ross. It'll be cute, okay? Ross: Okay. (Not happy about it.) Mona: Oh, I gotta get to work. So call me later? Ross: Uh sure, sure. Mona: Bye guys. Phoebe: Bye. (Mona exits.) Joey: (To Ross) Congratulations! You just got married! Ross: I know. Can you believe that? Phoebe: Wait, I'm-I'm sorry. What's the big deal about a holiday card? Ross: Married couples send out cards, families send out cards, people who have been dating for a couple of months do not send out cards! What-what is she crazy?! Joey: Hey-hey-hey, hey that's your wife you're talking about! [Scene: Chandler's Office, his boss Doug is entering, Monica is there as well.] Doug: Bing! Ho! And the Bing-ette! Chandler: Honey, you remember my boss Doug right? Monica: Yes, hi. Doug: Hi. So good news, the divorce is final. I signed the papers this A.M. Chandler: I didn't know you and Carol were getting divorced, I'm sorry. Doug: Sorry? Finally chewed my leg out of that bear trap. Hey, congratulations to you guys though! Monica: No leg-chewing for us sir. Doug: Oh well, give it time. So the divorce, the marriage, we've got a lot to celebrate. How about we all go out to dinner tomorrow night? Monica: I can't think of anything we're doing. (Quietly) Why can't I think of anything we're doing? Doug: Tomorrow night it is then, I should be out of court by six. They keep throwing these sexual harassment cases at me and I keep knocking them out of the park! Monica: Okay, I'll see you tomorrow! (Doug exits.) Just so you know, we're not seeing him tomorrow. (Chandler wonders why.) I-I cannot spend another evening with that man. Do you remember how he behaved at our wedding? Chandler: No. Monica: That's because he wasn't invited because of the way he behaved at our engagement party. Chandler: Oh yeah. Boy, urine cuts right through an ice sculpture doesn't it? [Scene: Ross's Apartment, there's a knock on the door and he opens it to Mona.] Mona: Hi! Ross: Hey! Mona: Hey, I went by the photo shop, take a look, here is a mockup of our card. What do you think? Ross: Huh. Wow, this is great. Mona: Now, do you think it should say, "Love Ross and Mona?" Ross: Well, we-we haven't said that to each other yet, but I guess its okay to say it to other people. Mona: How many did you want? I'm getting a hundred. Ross: A hundred?! Well, I-I guess I'll take a-Mona, uh...I-I'm not sure about the whole uh, card thing. Mona: Really? Why not? Ross: Sending out a holiday card, together, I mean I just don't know if we're really quite there yet. Mona: Oh y'know, I didn't think of it that way. You're right. You're right. So, can I ask you a question? Ross: Yeah. Mona: Where are we? Ross: Huh. Mona: Y'know, like where are we? Where is this relationship going? Ross: Hmm... Mona: I mean I love spending time with you, y'know I just-I hope we're moving forward. I mean, we should probably talk about that. Don't you think? (Pause.) Ross: Let's do the card! Mona: What? Ross: The card! I think we're there! Mona: Okay. I-But I think we should still have this conversation. Ross: Really?! I mean, even with the card? [Scene: Rachel's Doctor's Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.] Nurse: Hi! Rachel: Hi! Nurse: Just so you know, Dr. Long can't be here today, she was called to the hospital, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you. Rachel: Oh, okay. Hey, can I ask you a question? Was it me, or-or was the guy who took my blood sample really cute? Y'know who I'm talking about, bald haircut, hairy fingers... (Stops when she realizes it was her.) Dr. Schiff: (entering) Hi Rachel? I'm Dr. Schiff. (By the way, he's an attractive man.) Rachel: Yes, you are. Dr. Schiff: So, how's it going? Rachel: Oh, really, really good. But enough about me, come on! Where-where are you from? What do you do? Dr. Schiff: I'm a doctor. Rachel: Right! Right! I-I actually meant in your spare time, do you cook? Do you ski? Or do you just hang out with your wife or girlfriend? Dr. Schiff: Uh, I don't have a wife or girlfriend, but I do like to ski. Rachel: Oh, I love to ski! How amazing is this?! Dr. Schiff: So, are you experiencing any discomfort? Rachel: No. I'm very comfortable. Dr. Schiff: Any painful gas? Rachel: No! Shoot, Dr. Schiff what kind of question is that?! Dr. Schiff: Okay then, would you like to lie down on the table? Rachel: Well would you like me to lie down on the table? Dr. Schiff: I'm sorry, is there something going on here? Rachel: Do you feel it too? [Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.] Rachel: Hi. Phoebe: Oh hey! So, how did your doctor's appointment go? Rachel: Well, let's see. Uh, they gave me cute doctor today and in the middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple. Phoebe: Oh my God. Monica: Why did you do that? Phoebe: Okay, remember that little problem I was having during my fourth month of pregnancy? Monica: Oh yeah, the Evander Holyfield phase. Oh man you were so hard up you practically came on to me. Phoebe: You wish. Monica: Hey, I could've had you if I wanted you. Phoebe: Oh yeah? Come and get it. Rachel: Okay, even this is turning me on! Ross: (entering) Hey! Rachel: Oh hey! Hey Ross! Hey how's it, how's it going with you and Mona? Are you guys still together? Ross: Oh yeah, yeah we're moving forward. You'll be getting our card! Monica: You and Mona are doing a holiday card together? Ross: Yeah, we're not just doing a card! Y'know, she-she also wants to have the conversation about where the relationship is going. Phoebe: Ugh! Women! Ross: I know! I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation?! Huh? I mean no self-respecting man would ask a woman, "So, where is this going?" Rachel: Uh Ross? You asked me that. Ross: Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? I'm not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. I'm horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Y'know, something that says we're moving forward without having to talk about it. Monica: Like asking her to move in with you? Ross: Smaller than that. Monica: Making her a mixed tape? Ross: Uh, bigger than that. Phoebe: Give her a key to your apartment. Ross: Whoa-hello! We were closer with the mixed tape. Monica: All right. Have you said, "I love you?" You could say, I love you. Ross: Yeah I-I don't-I don't think I'm quite there yet, but I could say I looove spending time with you. Phoebe: No, we hate that. Monica: That is a slap in the face. Ross: Forget it. I-I-Y'know what? I'll just have the conversation. I'll just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best. What do you think Rach? Rachel: I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater. [Scene: Chandler's Office, Doug is entering.] Doug: Bing! We're all set for tonight, 8 o'clock. Chandler: Oh uh, as it turns out, we can't do it. Monica has to work. Doug: Oh, my ex-wife didn't work, unless you call turning into her mother work. Fine. Tomorrow night then. Chandler: Oh uh well tomorrow's no good for her either. Doug: Oh? Why not? Chandler: It's the semi-finals...of her...botchy ball tournament. Doug: What's going on Bing? Does uh, your wife have a problem with me or something? Chandler: Well now-now you're just talking crazy. Doug: So why can't the three of us go out together? Chandler: Because uh...we-we...we split up. Monica and I split up. Hold me. Doug: Good God Bing I...well I can't say I'm altogether surprised, I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there. And the way she looked at me, pure lust. Chandler: Y'know what would really help me through this tough time is choking something. Can I choke ya? Doug: Bing my boy, we're gonna get you over this. Now here's the plan, grab your coat, we're going to a strip club. Chandler: Oh no-no-no, Monica would freak. (Doug looks at him.) But to hell with that bitch. [Scene: Central Perk, Ross is getting Mona some coffee.] Ross: Here we go. Mona umm, I think it's time we-we had a conversation about-about where things are with us. Mona: Yeah, I-I think I suggested that. Ross: Aw, we-we are so...(Motions that they're connected.) So umm, well I-I-I like you and I-I love umm, y'know hanging out with you. And I mean-I'm having a lot of fun. (He pauses and thinks there might be more, but decides there isn't.) Mona: Okay. Ross: I mean, there's no point in spending time with someone if-if it's just fun. It's gotta be, it's gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! That's-that's the real question. And-and the answer is...is it's going somewhere...fun. Now I-I know what you're thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago y'know, but you're-you're not getting any younger. No I mean-No not you, not you, you-you are getting younger. I mean-you-you look like you're getting younger by the second-What's your secret? Mona: I'm sorry, so umm, so where are we? Ross: Well, well to sum up, we're having fun, you look young. Mona: Okay... Ross: But that's not enough. So... So...here's a key to my apartment. (Hands her his key.) Mona: Really?! Ross: Really. Mona: You don't think this is too fast. (Ross groans no.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is telling Rachel and Monica about yet another mistake he's made with a woman.] Rachel: You gave her a key to your apartment?! Ross: Not just a key, I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship. Phoebe: (entering with some guy) Hey. Ooh Ross! How'd the conversation go? Ross: Oh great, I live on the street. Phoebe: Where?! (Ross exits.) Rachel: Hey! Phoebe: Hi! Okay, Monica, Rachel, this is my friend Roger. Roger: Hey everybody. Monica: Hi Roger. Phoebe: So umm, I'm gonna get us some drinks. (To Rachel) Would you help me out? Rachel: Yeah. (They go into the kitchen.) Phoebe: Umm, he's here to have s*x with you. Rachel: What? Phoebe: You're welcome. Rachel: Phoebe no! Phoebe: It's okay, he's a virgin. Monica: Rachel umm, I was just talking to this guy and I think he'll have s*x with you. Phoebe: Yeah, okay let's leave these two alone. Rachel: No! I do not care what my hormones are doing, I am not going to just do it with some random guy! Phoebe: Fine! Then you tell Roger because he was really looking forward to this! (Phoebe exits.) [Scene: A Strip Club, Doug and Chandler are there.] Doug: Oh Bing, look at those twin sisters dancing together. Let me buy you a lap dance with those girls. Huh? Chandler: Oh that's all right sir, and that's just one girl. Doug: Bing-What's this?! (Grabs his hand.) Chandler: It's a hand. It's a thing you use as a Jack and Coke holder. Doug: No, it's a wedding ring. You gotta get rid of it. We're gonna go to the East River right now and throw it in there! Chandler: Oh no-no-no! Doug: Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, y'know I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head. [Scene: Ross's Apartment, a locksmith has finished changing the locks on Ross's door.] Ross: Okay, and oh I'm gonna need a bunch of extra keys. Apparently I give them away for no reason at all. Mona: (entering) Hey Ross, what's going on? You changing the lock? Ross: No. That guy is. Mona: I don't understand. You-you give me a key to your apartment and then you change the lock. Locksmith: Good luck buddy. (Exits.) Mona: Umm, I-I thought we were moving forward and now you're-you're sending me all these mixed signals. What are you trying to tell me? Ross: I'm trying to tell you I made you a mix tape. Mona: What? Ross: I love you! Mona: Ohh! (Hugs him.) And I love spending time with you. (Ross isn't happy.) [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is eating dinner as Chandler enters.] Chandler: Hi honey I'm home. Monica: From the tequila factory? Chandler: It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldn't give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird! Monica: Come here. I can breath through my mouth. Chandler: Y'know what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like It's a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives. Monica: I promise. Hey, speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday card this year? Chandler: Ooh, I don't know if we're there yet. [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is on the phone.] Rachel: Yes. Hi, I'd like to order a pizza. Okay, can I ask you a question? Is-is the cute blond guy delivering tonight? Very Ambercrombie & Fitch. (Joey enters.) I'll call you back. Joey: Who was that? Rachel: It's just the pizza place. Joey: You hung up on the pizza place? I don't hang up on your friends. Rachel: I'm sorry honey, I'm just having a, having a rough day. Joey: Oh, what's wrong? Rachel: Oh you really, you really just don't want to hear about it. Joey: Then why did I ask? Rachel: Okay, it's just-and this is really embarrassing-but lately with this whole pregnancy thing I'm just finding myself...how do I put this umm, erotically charged. Joey: Is that college talk for horny? Rachel: Yeah. So y'know, I have all of these feelings and I don't know what to do about them, because I can't date like a normal person, which is fine because I don't need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just s*x, y'know? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what he's doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so...hard...to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day? Joey: Good, I uh, I saw a pretty big pigeon. Rachel: Well, I gotta get up early and it's almost seven o'clock. Joey: Yeah, I gotta, I gotta go to my room too. Rachel: Okay, good night! Joey: Good night. (They both enter their rooms.) (Pause.) Joey: (entering) I can't do it! Rachel: (entering) I didn't ask you to do it! Joey: You're Rachel! Rachel: You're Joey! Joey: You're my friend! Rachel: Right back at ya! Joey: But plus, it would be wrong and weird and-and-and bad. Rachel: And so bad. I don't even know what you're talking about because I didn't ask you to do anything! Joey: I know! (Pause.) Joey: Do you wanna do it? Rachel: No! Joey: All right, me neither! I was just testing you! Rachel: That's the end of this conversation! Joey: This conversation never happened! Rachel: Never happened! Good night! Joey: Good night! (They both go into their rooms and after a little while Rachel pokes her head into the living room.) Joey: Get back in there! (Rachel re-enters her room and closes the door.) Closing Credits [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Phoebe enters.] Phoebe: Hi. Listen, I'm sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasn't right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something that I think you'll really enjoy. (Goes into the hallway and returns carrying the Evander Holyfield cutout.) Now, this is just a loan. Okay? I'm gonna, I'm gonna want him back. So... (Looks at him longingly) I'm gonna go now. (Exits.) (Pause) (Entering) I'm sorry, I thought I could do it and I can't! (She grabs the cutout and exits for good.)

Plan: A: an idea; Q: What does Mona get to send out a holiday card for the two of them? A: their relationship; Q: What does Ross think is moving too fast? A: Chandler's newly divorced boss; Q: Who tries to get Monica and Chandler to come out to dinner with him? A: Monica; Q: Who can't stand Chandler's new boss? A: Rachel's hormones; Q: What is the cause of Rachel hitting on every guy she meets? A: her pregnancy; Q: What is the reason Rachel's hormones start acting up? Summary: Ross starts to panic when Mona gets an idea to send out a holiday card for the two of them, thinking that their relationship is starting to move too fast. Chandler's newly divorced boss tries to get Monica and Chandler to come out to dinner with him, but Monica can't stand him. Rachel's hormones start acting up due to her pregnancy, causing her to hit on almost every guy she meets.

Ted (2030): Children in the winter of 2009, Robin and I became roommates. And to be honest it was not really the top. Robin eats on the couch when Ted leaves his room. Ted: It looks good. I'll do. Robin: There's no more milk. Ted: I saw in the fridge. Robin: empty. Ted: So, throw it. Robin: The trash can is full. Ted: So, take out the trash. Robin: I eat cereal. Ted: You know, when I asked you to be my roommate, I said, "A girl, she will be careful." But no, you're an ogre Revenge of the Nerds. Robin: You know what? Instead of coming with references typical last minute like that, you should spend some time, I dunno... washing a dish. Ted: Damn, I can not. I'm busy leave a plate of cookies for the elf magic puts toilet paper. Wait, there's no elf. It's always me! Robin: I always changing. You, never! Ted: This is ridiculous! Robin: No, I went there yesterday... Stop it! Stop it! My God, what happens? When we were a couple, we lived together and we almost went insane. Ted: I know. It's been what? Robin: You know what this is? We made love. Men and women need s*x to live together. It resolves all disputes. Ted: As Barney's theory on world peace? Flashback Ted and Barney are at McClaren's. Barney: I explained. I said, Madeline, every international conflict essentially boils down to sexual tension. Ted: All international conflicts? Barney: All, man. Ted: So, the crisis in the Middle East could be solved by... Barney: Gaza Strippers. Next. Ted: Apartheid? Barney: "Apartouze". You have what? Ted: The Cold War? Barney: "Mrs. Gorbachev, removed her underwear." End flashback Ted: Well, I think we should love again. Robin: Yes, of course. Ted and Robin are in bed. Robin: I know. It's like riding a bike, man? Ted: Biking upside down. Well, listen. If it should happen on occasion, they say nothing to anyone. Sold. Robin: Sold. Marshall: Sold. GENERIC Marshall: You do not care what, guys? You are back together? Ted: No. It was just love to do more fighting. Marshall: It's a great idea. No, really. Hat guys. I saw in the future and everything works perfectly for everyone. Robin: Why are you here anyway? Marshall: I was working and I had to take a leap here...reading this magazine. In... the room there. Ted: I understand. No problem. Robin: If this is a problem. You've done all the way here to read a magazine? I am willing to bet that there is a place to read this magazine at work. You know, a room with a little man on the door? Marshall: Well, Robin. Nobody likes reading a magazine at work. You leave your office holding a magazine... Flashback Marshall is at work with a magazine in hand. Marshall:... and the magazine says one thing and no one. Magazine: Hey everybody, look at what Marshall will do!Marshall will read an old magazine in the bathroom that you all share with him. End flashback Robin: Have you thought about maybe not reading a magazine when you read a magazine? Marshall: You have to read a magazine. That's why there has magazines. Ted: So, this is wasted time. Marshall: Exactly. And the worst part is, this piece of my hallway door to the toilet. It's exposure to criticism. Flashback Marshall: It was my head. Leader: We know exactly what you will do. Marshall: The boss. Bilson: Eriksen, why you do not move your office there? Man: Donald "I think he has a Woman." My darling, if flagrant. End flashback Marshall: Anyway, I'd rather do it here. Robin: No, I'm sorry. This is our house now. Marshall, you should also read a magazine. Give me your key. Marshall: No, certainly not. Reminds me of a bargain between three parties where no one would discuss a certain event happened. An event... persuasion. This key, madam, this is my silence. Good day to you both. He left the apartment. Barney, Robin, Ted, Marshall and Lily are in McClaren's. Lily: You slept together? Marshall: Thank you, Lily. Marshall gives the key to Robin. Barney: You... have slept together. What are épouv...stouflant. Epouvstouflant. Well done, Ted. Bravo. Robin: It seems more important than it is. Ted: We talked and we realized we had some difficult months.It deserves a little fun. Lily: No. It could ruin your friendship. When two former try the "right opportunity", someone always ends in pain. Ted (2030): In fact, Lily was right. We talk about it later. Robin: We will not get there, OK? Nobody will get hurt. It has established rules. Flashback Ted: Rule number one: purely physical relationship. There are no feelings. Robin: This is like telling Fonzie be cool. Ted: And since it's just physical, it was not to worry love. Robin: You can do it watching TV! Ted: Absolutely! Let's multitasking. Use s*x to spice up the boring activities. Robin: As folding laundry. Ted: Paying the bills. Robin Cook. Ted: It's not very hygienic. Robin: Yes, not that one. End flashback Robin: And now they sleep together, we argue more. Ted: Problem solved. In fact, the credit goes to Barney. This idea just your thing on the world peace. Robin: Yes. Thank you, Barney. You were right. Peace was established. More than once. Barney: So, I am responsible for... Excellent. Excellent.Excellent. The next tour is for me! It moves away from the table and Lily follows him. Lily: Are you okay? Barney: Yes. Why you ask? Lily: For one thing, you cry openly. Barney: From joy. I am so happy for them. Lily: Barney, admit it. You always have feelings for Robin and it tortures you. Barney: I'm going quite well. Excuse me just a minute. (He goes out into the alley behind the bar, takes a television in a trash can and throws it down. Then back to talk to Lily) I'm going quite well. Lily: You must learn to express your feelings. Perhaps you should see a psychiatrist. Barney: Wait. If I pay a woman $ 200 an hour to feel better, it will not discuss. And there will be both on the couch. The woman in my scenario, she is a prostitute. Dirty, vulgar, all redone, from Eastern Europe... Lily: I entered. Ted: There's something liberating not to take it seriously. Robin: Last night we did when I answered the phone. Marshall: I knew you had not of paddler! Barney: Wonderful, we still speak of that! Robin: Look, it's a private thing between me and Ted. Ted and Robin Trick private. Robin: It is not even discuss it if Marshall could read a magazine at work. Lily: It was always like that. You remember, in law? Marshall: Sure. Flashback Lily is sitting on the couch, crying, when Marshall enters the apartment. Marshall: Baby? What has he? Lily: The bank statement arrived today. You have booked a hotel two blocks from your school, a Tuesday. Marshall: That's not what you think. Lily: It's that, Marshall? What's her name? Marshall: Burrito. Carnitas Burrito. End flashback Robin: Have you booked a hotel room just to read a magazine? Marshall: You do not want me to see if the waitress at a huge scale for this haughty tone with you? Nobody likes reading a magazine at work and they say they are not human. Barney: Dude, I read a magazine at work every day. I will not say how many meetings where I was late because I 'was reading a magazine. " But I'm not ashamed of that. This is my moment. Sure, "magazine is read" is not sexy, but you know, this is something I have to do. Why be ashamed? Wait, "read a magazine" that's wank, right? Ted and Robin are back at the apartment. Ted: I think so. You still have drank all my milk! Robin: We can make love. Ted: OK. Ted is the bar with Barney. Ted: This is the ideal plan. Each time you start to yell, he lieth in place. One minute you're on the back of each other, and the one after that, well, the same thing. Barney: Super. Barney is in the driveway and threw a television. Ted: This morning, she cried through the door, "You're too long in the shower! ". A second later, she joined me. There, it has not bothered me to take my time. Barney: If great. Again, he threw a television. Ted: Sorry for the delay. I was typing a Scherbatsky. She used all my stamps, so in short, the postman rang twice. Should you stamp it! Barney: It's... just... if... Excuse me one second. He gets up and goes out into the aisle. It goes to get something in the trash but there is more. Barney is in an appliance store. Barney: So, plasmas are better in low light, but the LCD is best to play? Seller: Okay, but CRTs have the deepest blacks. Barney: So if I want a very good contrast ratio... Seller: The deep structure of the CRT pixel resolution produces unrivaled in LCD. Barney: I take the CRT. He is now behind the bar and throw again on TV. He enters the bar with a smile when Lily is waiting. Lily: Barney, it's crazy. Barney: I'm fine, thank you. Lily: No, it's wrong. You must learn to get it out. As we did in my kindergarten class. "The time for emotions", every Tuesday morning. Barney: Look, maybe your kids resent their friends sleep together, but not me. I have never been better. [SCENE_BREAK] Marshall is at his job. Ted (2030): Meanwhile, Marshall always drooled at work. Magazine: Listen all, big breakfast this morning. You know what that means. Ted (2030): Then came the best news he had heard long ago. Woman: Are you aware? They fired everyone in the eighth. Man: I know. This is a ghost town there. Marshall arrived at work one floor. He goes to the bathroom. Ted leaves his room while Robin is reading a magazine. Ted: Hello. Robin: Hello. Ted: It was fun last night. Robin: Sure, it was a good one. Personal memo: leave it lying around the pizza box more often. Ted: Okay, see you later. They kiss. Ted is in McClaren's with Marshall and Barney. Ted: Last night, Robin left a pizza box lying on the floor, so we had s*x three times. Marshall: OK. Ted: And this morning before leaving for work... we kissed. Marshall: Bizarre. It's weird. Ted: What? This kiss has violated the spirit of our arrangement. She probably thinks that I have feelings for her. Marshall: Do you have any? Barney: Yes, I love it. That's what... It's you, man. Ted: No. It meant nothing. It was just a reflex when we were a couple. But I did everything go wrong. Barney: Clearly. This is the end. Marshall: Wait. Maybe she has not found it weird. Lily and Robin are in the apartment. Robin: It was weird. Bizarre, weird, weird. B-I-R-A-Z-R-E.Bizarre. Lily: That's not how it is written. Robin: Come on, Lily. Do not your Ted. Lily: I warned you. When ex relapse, ultimately, it hurts someone. But nobody is listening. This is the story of my life.My nice face that prevents people listen to my message. Robin: What do I do? At the bar... Barney: A single solution. You must stop sleeping together, please. At the apartment... Robin: I think we should stop sleeping. Ted and I, it's like cigarettes. You take one into thinking it is good. And very quickly, you buy one carton per week. I must stop it. At the bar... Ted: I have to stop it. Ted and Robin are at the apartment and talk. Robin: So, you stop that, huh? Ted: I think so. Robin: This is for the best. It was fun, but I do not want it becoming weird. Ted: I do not either. Robin: Colocs? Ted: Colocs. Ted opens the fridge and took the empty bottle of milk. Ted and Robin are in bed. Ted: But they say nothing to anyone. Okay? Robin: Sold. Marshall: Sold. Robin: Dude! Ted: Seriously! At the bar... Lily: What is your problem? Barney (the appliance store): This one. He throws it down. Ted: It did not last long. Robin: Actually, what you did not care for us? I thought you had the perfect plan. Marshall: That was the case. Flashback Marshall eats with others of his job. Marshall: Everything was going well. I felt more and more comfortable, more confident. I could conquer the world. One morning I'm in the eighth with a magazine. He enters the bathroom and two workers arrived. Man 1: We will demolish everything. I want that you will destroy these walls, here... and there. Male 2: It works. The first man goes and takes a second mass. Marshall: The celebrities extend their clothes? I also extend my machine. (The man breaks the wall of the toilet where Marshall is located) Do not enter! End flashback Marshall: It did not last long. Barney takes out the trash, when Ted returns. Barney: Thank you. Ted: What are you doing? Barney: Because of your bickering roommates are always a source of conflict between you two, I wanted to help. In fact, I went to the post. I took you stamps. In about 10 000. That should be enough. Ted: Thanks, I guess. You want a beer? Ted opens the fridge full. Barney: I took it in passing. It's nothing. Ted: You have bought us a dishwasher? Barney: It has always been there. You've been here how long? Ted: So you take it all and you can avoid to argue, eh? Barney: Exactly. I worry about you. Ted: It bothers you that we sleep together, right? Barney: Not at all. It's crazy. What? Ted: You're in love with Robin? You're in love with Robin.That's why you not want people sleeping together. Barney: What? You say anything. A friend can not clean the apartment of another friend like friends do? Ted: Cite me a buddy in the story of friends who has already done that. Barney: I give you two: Clean and gentlemen Solcarlus. Ted: That thing between me and Robin is completely innocent.I flipperai if you tell me not feel something for her. This is the case? Barney: No. This is not true, no. This is not true, no. No. Robin is all yours, man. Exploding yourself with it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go sleep with other girls. Ted: Are you sure? Barney: Yes! Ted: Positive? Barney: Absolutely. (Barney out of the apartment) Barney is in the class of Lily. Barney: And I went with a bang. Why did I do that? It comes perhaps my father issues, but... basically, I allowed my best friend to sleep with the girl of my dreams. I completely sabotaged. And now, I smoke. I smoke. Lily: Get out of here. Barney: But it's time and emotions I Emotive, bears sharing.Whoever Emotive, Bear's shares, can sit on the chair of the division. Lily: Barney, you're not at your therapist. These children also have their problems, you know. Ben's parents divorced. Ben: Really? Lily: Who wants to do the coloring? Barney is now in his office. Between Marshall. Barney: Great, it's Lily who sent you? I have not the bear, OK?I will make it! Why are you smiling? Marshall: I just... reading a magazine. Here at work. Barney: What? Marshall: It's the funniest thing. I was on the net, looking at hotels when I realized something. Flashback Marshall is on his computer. Marshall: This is stupid. End flashback Marshall: I decided it was time to face my complex and do what I had to do and once that decision, everything changed. Flashback Marshall walks in the hallway with a magazine and coffee in hand. Woman: That's a young man at ease in his sneakers. Man: I know what you are about to do and I respect you for that. Bilson: Well the road. Magazine: You have taken a big step today. Remember Shakespeare: "Virtue is fearless and goodness, without fear." Marshall: You're right, Super Babe Are My Woman Stop telling me Why You Are Not Famous But I stop To forget. Let's do it. Magazine: Watch the road. End flashback Barney: Congratulations. Marshall: Thank you. I would have done well at some point.Sometimes you have to... You have to say and... go there. Barney: Marshall, I gotta go. In fact, there are toilets here, if you want to use. Barney out of his office. Marshall:... Species Barney arrives at Ted's apartment. Barney: Ted, I must tell you the truth. I love... (Robin out the trash) tacos. What are you doing? Robin: I go step-louse. If you are looking for Ted, he was released. And... our little arrangement is... completed, by the way. Barney: Really? That's Wife... vantable. Robin: Epousvantable? Barney: Yes, it is épousvantable. What has happened? Robin: He insisted. He said "no longer able to do" if "it hurt someone." I think we all know who he is talking about. Barney: Oh? Robin: It's not obvious? Barney: It is? Robin: Yes. This is Ted. You know how it romantic. He can not separate the physical emotion. It is kind of... Barney: I love you. Robin: Right. It's not like you, you know? In addition, we are friends. I want to complicate matters by committing. Hanging out with friends never works. So... you want to go eat a taco? Barney: A Taco? Robin: You love them, right? Barney: Just. Robin: Come on, I'm hungry. In McClaren's... Ted (2030): So Robin and I have again become roommates and everything is back to normal. Your Aunt Lily was right.When two former try the "right opportunity", someone is always hurt. It was just not one of us.

Plan: A: Robin; Q: Who does Ted become friends with benefits with? A: Barney; Q: Who tries to resolve the issues so Ted and Robin will stop hooking up? A: reality" stars; Q: What celebrities taunt Marshall? Summary: When Ted and Robin become "friends with benefits" to deal with conflicts they're having around the apartment, Barney tries to resolve the issues so they'll stop hooking up. Meanwhile, "reality" stars get too real for Marshall when they taunt him from the pages of his magazine.

[Pam is on phone and clicking her mouse rhythmically, Jim is clicking his pen equally as much, and Dwight notices] Dwight: Stop it! Jim: Stop what? Dwight: You're talking about me in Morse Code. Well, you know what? Joke's on you 'cause I know Morse Code. Ha! Jim: [chuckles] Yeah. That's what we're doing. In our very limited free time and with our very limited budget, we went and got a nanny and then we went out and took a class on a very outmoded and very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Yup. That's exactly what we did. Pam: It all started when Dwight was tapping his foot against the leg of his desk. When I asked him to stop, he said, "I will when you lose the baby weight." [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Very well. I must have imagined it. I apologize. [Pam clacking her stapler and Jim responding with tapping his keyboard rhythmically] Detonator. Detonator where? Michael! [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Jim. Are you clicking a detonator? Jim: It's a pen. Dwight: Michael, come on. Michael: Get back to work, Dwight. Please. Dwight: Fine. [clears throat] Hey. Tap away. [Dwight puts noise-cancelling headphones on and Pam and Jim begin to blink rhythmically] [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Ooh! Things with Donna are so... oh-ho-ho! They're going great. I, uh... we're just clicking on every level. Emotionally and sexually and... orally and I am not used to relationships going this well. I'm actually having trouble focusing on my job. And I like it! [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Who enjoys the weekends? [all raise hands] Of course. Now the weekend is always great if you have someone, which I do. I have Donna. She is hot. She has a Pilates butt. But we need to find something to do this weekend beside have s*x. Did I say that? Yes, I did. [all nod] And the reason you are here is that I need ideas for things that Donna and I could do on the weekend. So just shout it out. Stanley: I have an idea for your weekend. Michael: Okay. Stanley: Let me get back to my desk right now. Michael: Okay, you get out of here, big dog. [high-fives Stanley] Ah, no, no, no, no. You guys sit down. I need ideas. Pam: Stanley got to go. Michael: Yeah, well, Stanley doesn't help with anything. Come on. Shout 'em out, shout 'em out. Andy: Walk around apple orchards. Michael: Oh! Andy: Super romantic. Michael: That's fun. Dwight: Eel fishing. Michael: All right. Darryl: Curl up with your favorite DVD. Meredith: You and Donna should hit the Poconos. They have heart-shaped Jacuzzis. Room enough for three. Michael: We actually went to the Poconos last Tuesday. We headed up there, we went to a little Chinese bistro, um, P.F. Chang's. Kelly: Wait, why would you go all the way to the Poconos to P.F. Chang's when we have the Great Wall in Scranton. Michael: Because when your super-hot girlfriend says, "I wanna go to Mount Pocono," you go to Mount Pocono and you do her. And we screwed. Whoops. TMI. Kelly: Wait, that's crazy far. Are you sure she's not cheating? Michael: You know what, Kelly? This is the real world. Not The Real World[/b]: Scranton. Oh my God, this is super weird. When Ryan had two girlfriends, he used to take me to some diner in Hazelton just so the other girl wouldn't see. Ryan: Some diner?! It was the Starlight Diner! It's in a LIFE magazine spread about Americana. Michael: You guys think Donna's cheating on me? Pam: No, Michael, no. Dwight: Are you nuts? Pam: You had a nice meal with your girlfriend in a lovely place... Michael: ... and... we had s*x, too. Pam: That is right. Don't make any more of it. Michael: How? Pam: How what? Michael: How do I not make any more of it? Pam: You could start by concluding this meeting. Michael: All right. [all stand up to leave] And she won't say, "I love you." Dwight: Oh, no. Andy: How many dates have you been on? Michael: Nine dates. I said it on the second date. Andy: Mm. Oscar: That seems... quick. Even for lesbians. Ryan: Does she keep her phone locked around you, Michael? Does she watch how much she drinks around you, Michael? [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: Does she leave the room when she takes phone calls? Does she keep perfume in her purse? Does she shower before s*x? Does she shower after s*x? Does she... [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Yeah, she does all that. Ryan: Sorry, dude. Michael: No, no... Pam: Michael, do not let your imagination run amok. Michael: Run what? Pam: Amok. It means, don't let your imagination run out of control. Michael: Why didn't you just say that, Pam? Pam: Michael, do not let your imagination run out of control. Michael: Well, that's easy for you to say. You have a bad imagination. It's stupid. I live in a fantasy world. Jim: You do? Michael: Yes, Jim, I do. And I can't stay in a relationship that is full of lies and deceit. Jim: But you didn't believe any of this was true five minutes ago. Michael: That's what makes it so wrong. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Ever since I found out that Donna might be cheating on me, I have not eaten or slept. This not knowing, that's what's killing me. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Oh, God, that tickles. What did... Michael: [whispers] I want someone to follow Donna. I want her tailed. I need the name of a good private investigator. Dwight: I think I've got one for you. [hands Michael a business card] Michael: This is you. How much do you charge? Dwight: $100 a day, plus expenses. Michael: I'll give you $50. Money's no object. Dwight: I'm just gonna warn you... and I say this to all my clients... you might not like what I find. Michael: Okay. Dwight: And you might not like how I find it. [slides over table, leaves] [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Of course. Yeah, that's terrible. Okay, let me get back to you. Hey, Stanley. One of my clients just called and said that their Sabre printer started smoking and caught on fire. Stanley: My doctor told me to cut out hot dogs. We all got problems. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Hey, Gabe I need to talk to you about something. It's really important. Gabe: There's no way that you guys have any almond butter, right? Andy: Yeah, I don't know. Look, one of my clients called. He was in the middle of a big printing job and the back of the printer started smoking and then the paper tray caught on fire. Gabe: That's weird. I haven't heard of that happening. I would even settle for apricot preserves. Andy: What are we gonna do about this? Gabe: I don't know. Call HQ, see if they know anything. Yeah. That's what I'll do today. All right. Yeah. Andy: Let me know what they say. Darryl: [puts newspaper down] Wow. That dude is good. Andy: What do you mean? Darryl: You didn't feel like he was hiding something? Andy: I don't know. Darryl: Like he was... covering something up? Maybe. [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: Two years ago, Andy blamed the warehouse for a late shipment that he forgot to process. We got yelled at pretty bad. Almost lost my job, and I was mad as hell at the time. But I said "Darryl, just wait. He's a fool. There's gonna be an opportunity. Just be patient." [smiles] [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [sitting on his Firebird's hood in front of a gym] Hi stranger. Donna: Oh, hi. You work for Michael. Dwight: I work with Michael. Donna: Right. Dwight: Dwight Schrute. [they shake hands] Donna: Donna, hi. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: All cases are solved with logic. The only logical way to find out if Donna Is a cheater is to seduce her, bring her to orgasm, then call Michael and tell him the sad news. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: That's interesting. Wow, it's a little early for ice cream, don't you think? Michael: It's never too early for ice cream, Jim. But we didn't have any ice cream, so this is mayonnaise and black olives. Pam: Oh!... Jim: Oh, my God Michael: It's comfort food, all right? [disgustedly] God. Jim: You know Michael, this whole Donna thing is gonna be okay, you just... stop beating yourself up. Michael: I know. Well, I hope you're right. We'll see what Dwight says. Pam: Why do we have to see what Dwight says? Michael: Because I have him investigating her. I'm waiting for a text update. Jim: Michael, no... Pam: No, no, no, no. Undo that. Undo that. Michael: It's too late to undo it. I need to know. Otherwise this thing is going to spiral out of amok. Pam: Michael. Okay, I'm... I'm going to talk straight to you because I think you need to hear it. Michael. Michael: God, this is so disgusting. Pam: Stop eating it! Do you wanna be happy? Look at you. You have a major self-destructive streak in you. Michael: I know. Pam: And you kind of torpedo every romantic relationship you're in. Michael: That's not true. [Pam stares him down] You're right, I ruin everything. And I've known some wonderful women. Holly, Carol, Jan. Pam: Helene. Michael: Helene? Pam: My mother. Michael: Oh. Pam: My mother, Helene. [Jim shakes his head] Michael: Oh, yeah. Yes, yes. Yes. All of, all of the greatest loves of my life. Jim: You should stop this, [pulls away mayo and olives bowl] and you should call Dwight right now. Michael: [sighs] All right. [calls Dwight] [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [at gym, looks ready to work out, checks phone, and tries to grab Donna's attention] Oh, gosh, we were both going for the same weight at the same time; you go ahead. Donna: Thank you. Dwight: It's all yours. [strains loudly to lift two dumbbells and a free weight chained to strap around his head] Ah! [after first rep, Dwight is injured] Donna: You okay? Dwight: Yeah, I'm good. Hey, you know an exercise for two people that uses the whole body? Donna: [chuckles] Yeah, I think I know what you're talking about. Dwight: Tractor pulling. Too bad there's not a tractor here. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [moaning loudly on exercise machine while staring at Donna who's next to him] Oh. Oh. Oh. [groans loudly] One thing you need to know about me. I don't quit until something tears or pops. [chuckles] You look like you're getting a good workout. Can I feel your pulse? Donna: Nope. I'm good, thanks. Dwight: Really? Hey, um... [Dwight gets up and walks sorely from his "workout"] Old lady: Look, young man, can you wipe down that seat? Dwight: Get out of my way. Huh! [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Tomorrow's fertilizer, am I right? Donna: I'm out of here. Dwight: Donna. Donna, wait, please. I'm sorry. Okay? Listen. We both know why I'm here[/b]: to see... you... naked... while... I'm... naked. Donna: You stay away from me, or I'm calling security. Dwight: Donna, come... Ah! Grr! Ugh! [Dwight is very sore from his "workout" and cannot chase Donna] [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: You're back. What happened? Dwight: Oh, I pulled muscles in both my thighs. Thanks for asking. Michael: No, what happened with Donna? Dwight: Yeah, no. She's not cheating. Oh, man! Will you help me work out this knot? Right here. [near his groin] Michael: Ugh! Dwight: Put your fingers here. Michael: No. No! Are you sure? Dwight: I'm positive. Yeah, oh, and here's your expense receipts right there. Michael: Who eats eight protein bars? Dwight: People who don't trust egg whites. Michael: Okay. Well, I am just glad this is all over. Dwight: Oh, me too. And by the way, uh, I told her not to, but she's coming over here and she's furious. Michael: What? No, she didn't say that. Dwight: You're right. I was paraphrasing. What she actually said was, [pulls out notebook] "What is with him? He is crazy. I'm coming over there to talk to him." And this was after I have no other recourse but to tell her and gym security that you had me sent there to see if she was cheating. Also, I joined the gym. You'll be billed monthly. [lays down gym membership receipt on a chair in Michael's office. Michael: I am not paying for that membership. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [sitting on the floor behind Erin's desk, sighs] Ohhh... mmm... Erin: Maybe you'd be more comfortable in your own office. Michael: No, I like the attention. Is she here yet? Erin: Uh, no. [Michael sighs, Donna enters] Wait, yes. Michael: That's her? Erin: Yeah. Michael: Mm-hmm. Right. Right. Right. [Michael pretends to be speaking on the phone as Donna approaches] Okay, I'll talk to you later. [SCENE_BREAK] Donna: How could you think I would cheat on you? Michael: I didn't. Everybody else here did. Everybody convinced me that something was up. They poisoned my mind. Donna: That's pathetic. Michael: Ye... pfff. Well, no. It's a lie. That's not what happened. I just like you. I can't believe I get to be with you. You work at an adult arcade. You could have any man you want. Donna: When I tell you I like you, you need to trust me, not some freak. [Dwight is gulping some sort of power shake] Michael: If you wanna dump me, I totally get it. Donna: I told you I like you. Michael: Well, you are boner-ific. [Donna laughs] Donna: Hey, if I said that we should go away for a couple of days, you would... Michael: ...poop my pants. Donna: Have you ever been to Vero Beach? Michael: Oh, my God, Vero Beach. No. Is that on the water? Donna: We're going. Michael: We are? Donna: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: What's up? I got your e-mail. Darryl: Close the door. Andy: Okay. [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: I don't have a plan exactly. More of a loose structure. Gives me freedom to improvise. It's like jazz. [scatting] Andy don't mess with me. [continues scatting] I'll figure something out. [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: Some freaky stuff going on. I was walking behind Gabe and I heard some things. Andy: Such as? Darryl: It was kind of mumbled, I don't know, uh, only thing I could make out clearly was "Andy," "Problem," "Eliminate," something. I don't know what it meant. Andy: What? You don't know what it meant? How about "Andy is a problem and we must eliminate him?" Darryl: Whoa. I hadn't even thought of that. Andy: [chuckles nervously] Yeah. Hah. Hoo. [SCENE_BREAK] Kelly: Oh, hey, I love your earrings. Donna: Thank you. Kelly: Did Michael get them for you? Donna: No, I bought them myself. Kelly: Where? Donna: Steamtown Mall. Kelly: Claire's? Zales? Ricky's? Earring, Earrings? Fancy Girl? Platinum Cat? Where? Donna: You know, I actually got them in Philadelphia, in a mall down there. Kelly: Franklin Mills? King of Prussia? Springfield? Governor's Place? Donna: Uh, Franklin Mills. Jim: [to Pam] What? Pam: Hmm? Oh. It's probably nothing. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Okay, heart-shaped jewelry is not something that a woman buys for herself. A man definitely bought it for her recently, and it wasn't Michael. Jim: Wait, so are you... you like heart-shaped jewelry, though, right? Pam: No. Except for the pendant that you bought me. Which I love. [SCENE_BREAK] Creed: Psst... [Creed walks by Andy and draws his right index finger across his neck, further scaring Andy, Andy looks over at Darryl who is staring him down] [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Creed's head of quality assurance. So he'd definitely be wrapped up in this. [SCENE_BREAK] Creed: So there I am, minding my own business and Darnell offers me three bucks. All I gotta do is walk by Andy and go like this. [draws finger across neck] Darnell's a chump. I would have done it for anything. I've done a lot more for a lot less. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: So it turns out Donna and I have a facebook friend of a friend in common, so I was able to see some of her pictures online. [pulls out picture of Donna embracing a man and smiling] This was taken two weeks ago. And this was taken the same night. [pulls out a picture of Donna kissing the same man] This photo was taken this morning. [shows a baby picture] It's Cece. [laughs] She's never gonna do anything wrong. [SCENE_BREAK] Donna: Isn't that something? Michael: Wow. [Pam knocks on Michaels door and goes in] That's exciting. Pam: Hey, Michael. Michael: Hey. Pam: I'm sorry to interrupt you. Um, I actually have something very important to talk to you about, business related. Michael: Well it can wait. It can wait. Pam: I lied it's personal. It's about me and Jim. We're... I just... you're the only person I can talk to. Michael: Jim is her husband. Donna: Oh. Pam: And... Michael: And they are having problems, so sh... Pam: No, not... we're not... we're not having problems. But it is personal. And I would love... Michael: Good in bed. Pam: Yes. Yes, I desperately want to speak with you about my s*x life with Jim. Michael: Oh, my God. Look at how cheap street level rooms are. Am I the only person who enjoys people watching? Pam: [loudly] I need you to sign this! So bad! Michael: Okay, weirdo. Pam: I love [leans over Michael's desk to look at his computer screen]... this idea is neat. I've never been. It sounds lovely. [meanwhile Michael looks at the pictures Pam printed out] Donna: Yeah I think it'll be a nice trip. We're gonna get a lot done. Pam: [to Michael] You're gonna wanna look at the date on that. Oh, wow. Look at... golfing. [to Donna] Are you a golfer? Donna: I am, but I, I gave my clubs away. I swear too much. [Pam and Donna both laugh] Hey, you okay? [to Michael, walking away disappointedly] Michael: Yeah, I just remembered that I have to go to the bathroom. Pam? Pam: Absolutely. [both leave Michael's office] [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: Look, I'm not down there anymore, so if the guys start making fun of you, you just, you gotta stand up for yourself. Glen: I know, it's just, I'm scared... Andy: Your text said 911. Darryl: Glen, could you excuse us? [Andy slams the door after Glen leaves, panting heavily] Darryl: It's bad. Andy: What's bad? Darryl: It's real bad. [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: Still no plan. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Oh, God. Darryl: It's getting bigger. Andy: I might have to go public here, but no one's gonna believe me. Uh... I need proof. I need, like, a printer to catch on fire. Darryl: I can videotape it. Andy: Yeah. Darryl: [to camera] There it is. Andy: There what is? Darryl: What? [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Who the hell is this? Who is this guy? Pam: I don't know who he is. Michael: God! Lowest of the low. That guy. Just a notch above Toby. You know what? Pam: What? Michael: I'm gonna kill him. No, I'm not. I feel... I... no, I'm not going to kill him. Pam: You just have to go in there. You have to hear it from her. Michael: I have to hear it from her. Pam: You have to settle down first. Michael: I need to have her tell me herself. Right? Pam: Okay. Okay. Yes. Michael: I need to have her say... Pam: Yeah, but you have to calm... Michael: I need to say, "What the hell is that? What the hell is that?" Pam: Okay. Look at this, look at this. Baby picture. Michael: No, God! No, no, oh, my God! Pam: [in baby voice] Hi, Michael, hi, Michael Michael: [calms down] Okay. Okay. Okay. [SCENE_BREAK] Gabe: [to Andy] I talked to corporate. Turns out there have been 12 reports of faulty printers. Out of 400,000. [smiles] We've investigated. Every time it's been user error. They block the vents or something, I don't know. That's why we have the fine print. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. So I'd like to reward you for that. [pulls out gift card] That's god for five bucks at Dunkin' Donuts. Any Dunkin' Donuts. [Andy looks over at Darryl and Darryl motions for Andy to go to him] [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: You know what? We should really do something fun this week. Donna: Yeah, we should. Michael: Wouldn't that be fun? Donna: Yeah. Michael: How about Thursday? Donna: Thursday works. Yeah, what do you wanna do? Michael: I can't do Thursday. Book club. How about Friday? Donna: Oh, Friday doesn't work. Michael: Oh, really? 'cause I was thinking we could go to this concert. Spice Girls are opening for Weird Al. Front row. It'd be a great, great concert. Donna: Shoot. I'm working. Michael: Oh okay. Well, maybe I could stop by. Donna: Well, won't you be at the concert? Michael: Nope, that's Tuesday. Donna: Oh, well, I can make it on Tuesday. Michael: You're cheating. You're cheating on me. Donna: How do you know? Michael: Pam told me. [looks up at 2nd floor windows and so does Donna; Jim, Dwight, and Pam are visible on conference room window, they all scramble as soon as Donna and Michael look up, Pam throwing herself on the floor] Pam: [gasps] Did she see me? Jim: [to Pam on floor] Nice effort. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: [in old Michael Scott Paper Company's "office"] We're printing on 24-pound premium stock paper, approximately 300 sheets in. So far, no signs of distress. [Darryl is filming Andy's demonstration] Darryl: You haven't even introduced yourself. Andy: Right. My name is Andrew Baines Bernard, and if you're watching this, it's because I've turned State's witness because I'm in danger because I know too much. Darryl: You should talk in a higher voice 'cause the camera makes you sound weird. Andy: Higher? Okay. [speaking slightly higher] Recently certain events have come to my attention... Darryl: Higher. [motions with hand to go up more] Andy: Make it higher? Okay. Darryl: Mm-hmm Andy: [high-pitched] I have come to the conclusion that the Sabre corporation... Darryl: One more, yeah. [Again motions to go even higher] Andy: [higher] May be overlooking certain safety regulations. At the danger... [printer starts smoking and explodes] ah! [speaking lower] It's working. [in normal voice] It's... I knew it! Darryl: This... [removes camera headset] Andy: We are blowin' the roof off! Blowin' the roof off! [Darryl discharges fire extinguisher onto printer] Nice. Nice. This is my partner, Darryl Philbin. He's been my partner through this entire thing. [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: I don't wanna prank anymore. Things get real. It's not funny. I'm just gonna be good, stay in my room, go to church, try to do one nice thing per day. I do not wanna prank anymore. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Who is he? Donna: What, what do you mean? Michael: The other man. Who's the guy? Who is it? Donna: It's you. I'm married. Michael: I'm the mistress? [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [on workout bicycle at gym] Okay, everybody, let's take this next hill. Gym Instructor: Excuse me. Yeah, I'd appreciate it if you'd just let me run this. Dwight: You know what? You had your chance. You're no leader. Out of your seat, let's blast! Gym instructor: Don't listen to him, we're approaching a cooldown down a gentle hill. Dwight: No! The hill's a trap. Let's take the dirt road off to the side. Gym instructor: No, guys, no. We're just cooling down... Dwight: If they catch us, they will rape us. Go for the cliff. And three, two, one... jump! No! [points to those around him] You're dead, you're dead, you're dead. Good jump. You're barely alive. Okay, now nice cooldown. Check your pulse rate. [SCENE_BREAK] In memory of Larry Einhorn.

Plan: A: Michael; Q: Who suspects Donna of cheating on him? A: PI Dwight Schrute; Q: Who does Michael hire to investigate Donna? A: the case; Q: What does Michael put Dwight Schrute on? A: Andy; Q: Who is frustrated when no one takes his customer's complaint seriously? Summary: Michael suspects Donna is cheating on him and puts PI Dwight Schrute on the case. Meanwhile, Andy is frustrated when no one takes his customer's complaint seriously.

[Michaels comic book shop. Michael opens up the box with a knife. The first issue of Rage is all ready to go.] Michael: Oh my god. "Volume 1, Issue 1" Justin: It's my first time I see my work in print. Michael: This was just a story in my head. Justin: This is so cool! Michael: Do you have any idea how much this worth some day? Justin: Look, story by Michael Novotny. Michael: Art by Justin Taylor. [Brian walks in and takes a copy.] Brian: Hey boys. So, are you ready to sell your baby on the open market? Michael: I hope people like it. Justin: Why wouldn't they? Brian: You have no idea how vicious queers can be. Especially when it comes from someone elses success. That's why I invited them to all to a party. So they're feel love and included. [Brian's got flyers for a Babylon party celebrating Rage's kick-off.] Michael: Holy sh1t! Justin: Brian(!) Brian: I'll invited members of the gay press and set up some interviews, advertising in all the fag rags and top queer websites. Soon we all can be retiring to Palm Springs, wearing muumuus and sipping mimosas. Justin: In the meantime I get better to class. Brian: See you tonight. Justin: Usher. [Michael kisses Brian on his mouth.] Michael: I love you. Brian: Me too. Always have, always will. At home with Debbie.] Debbie: Cepher looks just like you, and J.T. looks like Justin... Vic: And Rage is the splitted image of Brian. Debbie: How come I'm not in here? Does superheros don't have mothers? Vic: Who wash their tights? Debbie: Ben, honey, you had some eat more. Ben: Oh, no, no, no, Debbie. I couldn't. Debbie: Sure you can! Michael: Ma, stop forced feeding him. Debbie: He's one of the family know! Ben: [to Michael] Excuse me, I'm one of the family know. Michael: My sincere condolences. [Debbie whips Michael in the face with her Number One.] Debbie: What Michael means is membership has his previleges. Michael: Yeah, you can gonna hit him, too? Debbie: Including a two weeks package at the Popcorns. Michael: We're going there every summer since I was nine. Debbie: Yeah, right by the lake. Vic: It's the perfect place to relax. Debbie: I cook... Michael: I sleep. Vic: I camp. Debbie: So, why would you come with us? Ben: Oh, I would love to... if I'm here. Michael: Yeah, where would you be? Ben: Well, I was actually thinking about going to Tibet. Debbie: Honey, it's a long way go for vacation. Ben: Yeah, it wouldn't be exactly like vacation. There is this budhist academy. It's a new loss of the capital that open for westerns. A friend of mine came back from study there. He said it's the most profound experience that he ever had that it changed his life. Debbie: Yeah, well no head, no electricity, no toilet paper can do that. Michael: So, he's be there like what? A couple of weeks? Ben: Um, it's an extensive programm. So if I decided to go... then it would be six months. [No one speaks a word.] [Gym. Four Stairmasters all in a row. Ted, Emmett, Michael, and Brian.] Emmett: Tibet? What's in Tibet? New Beat? Party? Ted: [laughs] You're so funny. Emmett: What I say? Michael: He wants to go there to a monastery. Brian: It could be hot. Michael: He be gone for 6 months. Emmett: Long time to be celibate. Michael: Well, you had to live with months, you haven' t be celibate. Brian: Not him, you. Ted: Look, just because he's talking about doesn't mean he's actually gonna be through it. Emmett: Yeah! Once he's realize there is no f*cking, no dancing, no gym and they wear orange. And trust me, no human being looking good at that, they'll forget all about it. Ted: Em's right! You are SOOOOOOOO right! Besides, there is no way he's gonna leave his honey. Emmett: OK, let's get back to the showers. Brian: Pussy. You're walking out for 10 minutes. Emmett: With is a 2 hour work for you crusing all the guys in this place. [At Ethan's. Ethan and Justin in his bed.] Ethan: So this friday, instead of going club hopping with your boyfriend why don't you drive through the country with me? We're park under the stars and watch the meteor shower. Justin: I can't. He's giving me a party. Ethan: Don't tell me he's finally decided to celebrate your birthdays! Justin: No! It's for the comic book. Ethan: He must love you a lot. Justin: In his way. Ethan: But not in yours. [Ethan says, rubbing Justin's cheek and leaning in for a kiss. Ethan leans back into Justin's arm.] Justin: I have to go. Ethan: My latest CD. You're the first person who have it. Justin: You used my draw. Ethan: Check out the back. Justin: "For Justin." [They make out.] [Back at gym. In the changing room.] Ted: Hold on. Emmett: What? Ted: I'm drying you off. Oh Em, you got yourself in a great shape. The back is brough as Texas, the stomach is flat as Kansas and Florida is lovely in this time of year. Emmett: But stop before we came to the Grant Canyon. [Then Ted laughs too much at Emmett's joke.] Ted: God, you're so funny. So, what are you doing now? Emmett: Put on my shirt. Ted: No, I meant after. Emmett: Well, I might try working. Some of us former millionaere have to. Ted: Why you stick by to take a lunch? Emmett: Honey, you're already take my to lunch twice this week and breakfast and dinner. Ted: Treating you is my threat. [Ted tries to kiss Emmett, but Emmett gives The Lean. Ted leaves.] [In front of Torso. Ethan plays violin on the street. Someone put some money in his case.] Ethan: Hey, excuse me, sir! Brian: Yeah? Ethan: You, you drop a hundred dollars in my case. Brian: It says you're starving. Ethan: Yeah, this was I'm little hungry. Brian: You are a student. Ethan: You wanna see my ID? Brian: You're good. Ethan: I know. Brian: So, why you're wasting your time standing on the street and playing for nickles and dimes? Ethan: Do I look like N'Sync? I'm not exactly selling maragina. Brian: What a waste of money. Happen thousands of leasts. Ethan: Doin' what? Brian: I'm freezing. I wanna go get some coffee. [University. Ben staples a Rage poster to a school wall.] Ben: Rage is now requiring reading for Professor Bruckners class. Michael: Because he is the teachers boyfriend. Ben: That is not why. A survey of gay studics and post-modern american Art and lyric. Michael: Wow. Say that ten times fast while holding your breath. Ben: Yeah, because it's good. Michael: You mean it? Ben: Mmmh, it may look like a comic book but it says something important about gay people. The valuatly of friendship and loyality, courage. Your character in the cartoons are real. They're care about it. Even Rage. Michael: Well, then it is an anchievment. Ben: Mmmh. You've an honest-to-God write, Michael. Michael: Thank you. Ben: Thank you, to. Michael: For what? Ben: Well, if it haven't been you I never would thoughed seriously about Tibet. But when I was in the hospital you're encourage me to focus on being positive. Michael: Yeah, I ment s*x or drugs with cake. Ben: Here. This came today. I got this email from this monastery in Sarnia. They're invited me to study with them. [Michael gives no answer.] Ben: But I want you to know there is no way I would go without busting your approval. [At Emmett's work. Ted's are beside Emmett and watching him at work.] Emmett: Uh, Ted? Ted: Yeah? Emmett: Don't you get need to the warehouse? Weren't there a jizzboree or something like that on your website? Ted: Yeah, something like that. Y'now, I really miss you being there. Emmett: Well, you have a lot of other jerkers now. Ted: There not you. Pal and buddy. A loving friend. [Mel and Linds are enter the shop.] Lindsay: Hey guys. Emmett: Look who it is! I'm so happy to see you guys! Ted: What do you gals doin' cruising the Liberty? Lindsay: Well, I tell Mel about the new disco baby boutice they we've come check it out. Emmett: Well, we're have a tons more. C'mon, I'll show you. [Em pulls the girls away from Ted.] Emmett: Take him to movies, take him to lunch but just take him! Lindsay: Who? Emmett: Teddy! He driving me crazy and don't moving along. He laughs to everything I say. He'll keeps look at me like a puppy dog. Lindsay: Really? Mel: You don't say... [Lindsay and Mel drag Ted out of the shop by the arm.] Mel: So Teddy, you've seen anyone? Ted: Me? No! Lindsay: Michael told me he saw Emmett last night with a really hot guy. Ted: Yeah? Who?! Lindsay: Why are you so upset? Ted: Who said I'm upset? [They look at him and he understand.] Ted: Is it so obvious? Mel: We'll soak it off. Lindsay: We knew as soon as we saw your face. Ted: I don't know how to explain it. One minute I look at him and he's the same Emmett I see all day, the next minute I'm look at him and... he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. It's crazy, huh? Lindsay: Why? It's happen to Melanie and me. One day we're friends... Mel: Next thing we've know we're lovers. Ted: Yeah, well, you're lesbians, so.. [Melanie hits him with a bag.] Lindsay: Uh, friends turn into lovers all the time. Mel: Even fags. So go for it. Tell him how you feel. Lindsay: You're never know. He might have feeling for you. [In the Liberty Diner. Brian with Ethan at the same table.] Ethan: Commercials? Brian: Everyone should it know. But instead worrying about champagne they're order still town beer. Ethan: So what has it to do with me? Brian: You're the strawling violinst. You're playing something, ridiculios romantic like Paganini's cantata in D-Major. Ethan: You're kidding me? It's on my new CD. Brian: No sh1t! It's on my favourite. [Justin walks in and sees his world shatter right before his eyes.] Brian: I should give you my card. My name's Brian, Brian Kinney. And... you are? Ethan: Ethan, Gold. Justin: Brian! Brian, I thoughed you'd be on work. Brian: No, I had been a business meeting. Justin, this is Ethan. Ethan, Justin. [No one said a word.] Ethan: I need to go to class. Brian: By the way, if you're interested the jobs yours. [Fancy restaurant. Emmett and Ted are sharing a table.] Emmett: $14 dollars for the house salad? Put they're on a ten court. Ted: Don't look at the prices, just order whatever you want. Emmett: [points at a cute bartender] I like him to go. Ted: He's just your type? Emmett: Isn't he yours? Ted: Not really. [Ted then drinks an entire glass of water.] Emmett: You're drinking more water, you're drawn. Ted: I'm thirsty. Emmett: You know Teddy, you've been acting really weird lately. Ted: Wait, what do you mean weird? Emmett: Well, it's sort like you've got something to say, but you're not telling me. Ted: Want you like me to? Emmett: Don't we share everything? Ted: Not yet. Emmett, I... [The waiter comes by to pour another glass of water slowly.] Ted: Well, I'm thirsty. [he drinks more water] As you know, I... I've never been very lucky in the love department. Emmett: I know. Ted: Yeah, all the chasing after the wrong boy, one rejection after another. Emmett: Poor baby. Ted: I practically giving up hope I ever finding him. You know, said f*ck you to love. Then the other night...there he was. Emmett: Oh, Teddy! Ted: Now, that's why he said. Love comes when you least expect it. Emmett: So that's why you've been so... stirry eyed lately. Don't sit there and staring at floor. Tell me, who is it? Ted: You. Emmett: You, who? Ted: You, you. Emmett: Me, you? Ted: Yes. You, you. You're the one who knows me better than anyone and still hasn't run away. Who tells me I'm adorable when I look like sh1t. Who, with his little finger can lift my spirits even when they weigh three hundred pounds. I love you, Emmett Honeycutt. [It is now Emmett's turn to drink the full glass of water.] [SCENE_BREAK] [Brian's staring at his computer screen. Justin wants to talk. Brian holds up one finger and makes Justin wait again.] Justin: Brian? I'm sorry. Brian: What for? Justin: You know what for. I didn't mean it for happen. Brian: I know. You were the poor, helpless victim of a love-bashing. Justin: I've should have told you about it. Brian: And taken all the fun out of it? So, how big's his dick? Justin: It has nothing to do with that. Brian: Since when? You love cock. You love it down your throat. You love it up your ass. You love riding it. And after you come, you love to fall asleep with it still inside you. Justin: Cut it out. Cut it out! Brian: You're hard. Justin: So? Brian: Don't tell me it doesn't matter. Justin: There are other things. Brian: Flowers? Picnics? Violins. Justin: He loves me. Brian: You're dreamy-eyed schoolboy. Justin: In ways you can't. Brian: In ways that I won't. Justin: He told me that I'm all he wants. Brian: They're still using that one? Justin: It's more than you've ever said. Brian: Since more than I ever will. So, what the f*ck are you still doin' here? Justin: Would you care if I wasn't? [Brian stares Justin in the eyes for a while.] Brian: It's your call where you wanna be. You've decided. [Justin mashes his face up in pain.] [At Woody's. Debbie's passing out postcards for the Babylon party.] Debbie: Babylon 9 o'clock! Hey guys, Babylon 9 o'clock! Rage in Babylon. Vic: You should be his age. Debbie: When he's in this age he would use his mother. [Debbie kisses Michael on his cheek. She looks at him.] Debbie: Uh-huh. What's that long face? Michael: Ben's serious about going to Tibet. Debbie: He's out of his f*cking mind. Michael: It must be a cosmic destiny. Every time I fall in love with someone he leaves town. This ones even leaving the country! Debbie: Well, he can't go. Vic: Why not? Debbie: For one thing nobody knows where the f*ck Tibet is. And for another it's dangerous. What if something should happen? [she crosses herself] And for another what if you got sick and the nearest hospital is hundreds, thousands miles away? Michael: Jesus, would you stop scaring me? Debbie: I'm scaring myself! Somebody need to talk some sense in that boy. Vic: If you ask me, he's making perfect sense. Remember Christmas Eve, three years ago? I was lying there in that hospital bed, attached to every goddamn tube known to man. Debbie: But you surprise them. Vic: Soon as I got out I buy two tickets to Italy. Debbie: One for you and one for me. Vic: And Ben's feels the same way. Michael: Ben's not dying! Vic: No, but the one thing this f*cking desease teach you is there isn't infinion about tomorrows, so do it now before it's to late. [At Ethans. Justin sits on his sofa.] Ethan: Your boyfriend's an asshole. Justin: He's not an asshole. He's honest. If anyone's an asshole, I am, for lying. Ethan: How he find out? Justin: I dunno. Ethan: You didn't ask him? Justin: He would never told me. Ethan: But you can tell him from me that he can keep his f*cking donation in arts. Justin: But he can afford in way you can't. Ethan: Now I know why you with him. God, he's beautiful. Must be great in bed. Justin: He is. It's when we're not in bed, that's the problem. Ethan: And guess what. I'm not the answer. I have myself to think about it. This competition is coming up, $24,000 the 1st prize, touring dates, possibil acording contract. I can't wasting my time thinking about you. Wishing you were here, hoping that tonight is gonna be the night you're finally stay. Justin: I want to stay. Ethan: Well, you can't. You can't. So just go back to your boyfriend. And I'll go back to my violin. [Ethan starts grinding away with his back. Justin tries to get Ethan to talk to him, but Ethan's still plays. Justin leaves, stiltedly.] [Emmett pointedly makes a sandwich.] Michael: He said he loves you? [SCENE_BREAK] Emmett: Mmmh, and that we seriously consider to be more than just friends. Pass the chips. That we should be lovers. Michael: I thoughed you've eat! Emmett: Who got eat after that?! Michael: So, what did you say? Emmett: 'Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.' Michael: Sure! Emmett: No. I mean, to him. I was drinking a lot of water. Jesus, what I'm gonna to do? Michael: Well, first you need ask yourself, you have feelings for him? Emmett: Well, sure I have feeling for him, you know warm feelings, fuzzy feelings, like I have for you, and Melanie and Lindz, even Brian sometimes. But not those kind of feelings. Michael: Well, then you just have to bite the bullet and tell him. [Ben walks in.] Ben: Hello. Michael: Hey. Ben: Oh, you don't mind if you make me one of those? I got need dinner. Michael: It's important that you've eat! Ben: Yeah, oh I was talking to my neighbour and she said she knows a busy professor who might want my place. Michael: Great! Emmett: Honey, if you don't want him to go, you're just gonna have to bite the bullet and tell him. [Justin enters the loft and tries to make it seem like he chose Brian, and not that Ethan threw him out on his ass. He slowly walks up to the bed where Brian is. He starts taking off his clothes. Brian watches. Justin walks closer to the bed. They stare at each other. Justin takes off his clothes. Brian lifts the sheet. Justin crawls into the bed and spoons with Brian, facing away. Neither says a word.] [At Michael and Ben's. Bedroom. Sweaty Michael and Ben have just finished the s*x act. Ben is lying down while Michael is sitting.] Michael: Ben? Ben: What's up, babe? Michael: Tibet is aweful far away. What if somethings happen? Are they're doctors, are they're hospitals? Ben: Yeah. I've been checking it out and you would be amazed how modern it's become. Michael: Yeah, but what if it's an emergency, you know like last time? Ben: You sound like my life is in fear. Michael: It's not fear, it's being practical. Six months is a long time. Ben: See, you could telling me, you won't let me go. Michael: Look, I know how important this is for you, but... Ben: No, no. You don't have to explain. I told you that I wouldn't go unless you will be okay with the whole thing. Michael: No. No, this is not about what I want. This is about what you need. So, go. With my blessing and approval. [Ted sings opera and waters his plants. There's a knock on the door.] Ted: Em. Emmett: I hope it's not too early. Ted: No, no. I just giving the plants a little H2O and a little Balini. Emmett: Well, I could talk to you right away. Ted: Yeah, c'mon. Can I give you some breakfast? Emmett: Oh no Teddy, thanks. Mind if I sit down? Ted: No, please, be my guest. Emmett: I was up all night, uh, thinking about what you said. Ted: Before you say anything, just let me say I know it may come as a complete shock, but it makes so much sense. We have so much in common. We hate the same movies, laugh to the same people We are really sympatico to take the next step. Ok, now you. Emmett: Teddy, I, uh, I am truly touched. Uh, you might even say overwhelmed by your, by your feelings. And uh, so, so flattered. But you see, I, I, huh, I don't know how to say this. Um. Ted: It's okay. I know what you want to say. You like my as a friend but you don't love me. So we just keep things where they are. We keep just friends, right? [Emmett nods] There you see. We have so much in common, we can read the other minds. It was just a thought. A suggestion. [He runs out of the room crying.] Ted: Would you excuse me? I got dressed. I'm gonna be late for work. Did you mind and let yourself out? [Michael finishes putting up his Rage display. Justin comes into the shop, all haggard.] Michael: You'll look like sh1t. We have an interview with Pittsburgh Out. Couldn't you dressed up a little? Justin: I'm an artist, not a business man. I don't need to wear suit and tie. Michael: This is for Brian. He went to a lot of trouble for us. Justin: It's not for us, it's for him. Brian calls all the shots! Brian controls the show. Including us. Michael: If you ask me, he's been pretty good to you. I mean, he saved your life. Took you in, he's putting you through school. He protects you. He looks after you. You know? Whether you believe it or not, he loves you. More than he's ever loved anyone. Justin: He doesn't loves me. He f*cks me. Michael: Well, why don't you find somebody else? Or maybe you already have. Justin: He told you? Michael: He never said a word. I told him. Justin: How did you know? Michael: I saw the two of you kissing on the street! Justin: You asshole(!) Michael: Don't call me an asshole, you're ungrateful little prick. Justin: Why don't you mind your own business! Michael: Brian is my business. He is my best friend! Justin: f*ck you, Michael! f*ck you! f*ck you! [The reporter guys show up right at this point. Justin storms out of there.] Man: Hi. I am Don from Pittsburgh's Out. We're doin' the article of Rage. Who's Michael and who's Justin? Justin: He's Michael, I'm gone. [Liberty Diner. Ben sits at the diner reading about tantric Buddhism.] Debbie: Here you go, honey. What you're read? Ben: It's a book about tantric Buddhism. Debbie: I know about that stuff. Help to stand your orgasms. Ben: Yeah, it does, along other things. Debbie: I have my Danielle Steel does it for me. Ben: Yeah, I'll better get to the passport office. See ya later. [Ben leaves the diner. Debbie runs after him at the street.] Debbie: Ben! These are for you. There are lemon bars in case you gets hungry later. Ben: Thanks you. Debbie: I always take care of my boys. But they're haven't those threats for you where goin'. Ben: No, I will miss them. Debbie: I bet you're gonna miss a lot of things. Ben six months is a long time for somebody to wait for. We never know what's happen. Ben: We're talked about it and, uh, he'll be fine. He said he might even be better off. Debbie: How you're figure that? Ben: Well, you know, he haven't me around to worry about it. Debbie: Uh-huh. So, you're doing him a favor? What the f*ck is that? Some kind of noble self-sacrifice? Ben: But Debbie you know better than anybody either what happens on this ride. Debbie: Who says love's an easier ride -- General Motors?! Michael's used to bums. He grew up with me. So, if you think you're doin' him a favor when you're leavin', there's no need. Michael's strong. He's strong enough to go anything through. The question is are you? [Rage party at Babylon. People dance holding comic books over their heads.] Vic: [to Jennifer] A Ragetini for you. And a Zepherpolitan to me. [Mel, Lindz, and Daphne are also there.] Mel: Where's Brian? Emmett: When he comes to a party he's the same age with me. Well, aren't you make some clever wrong note about my parties? Ted: I've got a Ragetini. Daphne: This is so cool. You're a star. Justin: Right. Debbie: Damn right, it's right. Isn't this f*cking unbelievable or what? [Cut to the stage. A huge building. Police sirens are hearings.] Moderator: Welcome to Gayopolis, Home of this fabolous superhero Rage. What? You've never heard of Rage? Well you will after tonight. With powers of mind any known to man, he can turn any wills to his, rope the ties of intolerant and justice and still have the strength to f*ck a hundred guys. [Cheering at the audiences.] Brian: [hugs Michael] I wrote that copy. Michael: No sh1t(!) Moderator: Uh-huh. Looks like a twink's in trouble. [A boy, dressed like Justin, are accost from Hooligans. They're beat up this boy.] Boy: [he screams] Somebody help me! Moderator: But somewhere in Gayopolis his cries are heard. [flashlights] It's Rage and Zepher. [Audience is cheering.] Moderator: Rage traps this guys in a mind in field. They're see each other as fags and beat themself to death. [After the fight, Rage kneels to the boy.] Moderator: Rage revives J.T. using his other superpower. [They're kisses each other passionately. Zepher stands beside them and watch. The audience cheering.] Moderator: And just a prevail in Gayopolis everybody party! [Music on. More dancing.] Brian: Well I take all at once. Michael: I think I'm gonna go and get a drink. Brian: What's his problem? Justin: We're not speaking. Brian: Creating differences. Justin: Actually we're totally in agreement. He thinks I'm an asshole and I think he is. Brian: Well, I spend a f*cking fortune on this, so sort it out. Justin: After what he told you? Brian: He was just looking after me. Like Zepher looks after Rage. If you want your comic book to be a success, you should put your personal feelings beside. And don't PISS on your achievement. [Dancing. Em goes to the bar and finds Ted. Ted tries to get away, but Em pulls him back.] Emmett: Hey. Would you stop running away from me, please? Ted: Who's running? Emmett: You are! And don't tell me you're not. We can read each others minds, remember? You're embarresed. Ted: Right away, dude. Emmett: Well, there is nothing to be embarresed about. Ted: It's easy to say this for you. You don't make a fool of yourself. Emmett: Teddy, you're not a fool! It takes a lot of courage to speaks what's in your heart. More courage than saving the world from archvillains. Ted: That's me, a pathetic man. Emmett: You're not pathetic. You're funny and witty. You're brilliant. Ted: Spare me the flattery. Emmett: It's true! That's what makes you sexy, because you're so, so smart. You know what they say. The brain is the second sexiest organ. Which is not to say that the rest of you is not hot. Hi! Look at those pecs! You're so funny. With those dark puppy dog eyes... [They look at each other and finally they kiss each other.] Emmett: Jesus, what the hell they put in our drinks? Ted: I'll take two more of this! [Dancing. Dancing. Justin finds Mel and Lindsay.] Mel: They you are. Lindsay: Have you fun? Justin: Yeah, it's great. Lindsay: Well, Brian is happy for you. Justin: He is? Lindsay: If course! Mel: It's your big night, sweetie. He wants to be with you. [Justin gets a moment of happiness and hope and goes looking for Brian.] Michael: I bet Tibet's gonna be quiet after this. Ben: Yeah, no dancing, no drinking, no drugs. Michael: K, why you can't? Ben: Everything you can do. Michael: When you're going I'm never coming here without you. Ben: I'll apreciate you're self secrefice. Michael: I'll be siting at home, knitting and waiting for your return... Ben: But I want you to have fun. Michael: Don't worry, I have lots of fun. Although phone s*x to Tibet will be expensive. Ben: I'm afraid they're won't be much of that, Michael. Michael: Cause you don't have to be cell phone. Ben: Because I'm not goin'. Michael: But it's all you thoughed about, it's all you've talked about. Ben: But I'll won't go. Michael: You've said it's all you need it. Ben: I already have what I've need it. And I doesn't fly to Tibet to find that. [Michael almost opened his mouth during that kiss.] [Justin finds Brian, of course, in the back, f*cking some guy in a blue light. When Justin comes back out, he finds Ethan standing there in the middle of the party.] Ethan: I was pratice Beethoven. It sound like sh1t and I realised that's all your fault. Justin: My fault? Ehtan: I try to forget about you but I can't. You're all I think about. [Brian's finished f*cking and strolls back into the dance hall. He gets a great view of Justin and Ethan. Then Justin and Ethan watch Brian watch them while Michael watches and Debbie watches nearby. Ethan always kisses. Justin and Ethan very slowly walk out of Babylon together, keeping their eyes on Brian the entire time. Brian dances up to the hottest guy in the room. Dancing all around. Close-up on Brian. Cut black. END OF SEASON2!] Music: Human Behavior by Bjork Click on this text If you ever get close to a human And human behaviour Be ready to get confused There's definitely no logic To human behaviour But yet so irristible There's no map To human behaviour They're terribly moody Then all of a sudden turn happy But, oh, to get involved in the exchange Of human emotions is ever so satisfying There's no map And a compass Wouldn't help at all Human behaviour #

Plan: A: Justin; Q: Who is forced to choose between Brian and Ethan? A: Michael's blessing; Q: Ben is going away for six months, but only with what? A: Ted; Q: Who is in love with Emmett? Summary: Justin is forced to choose between Brian and Ethan. Ben's going away for six months, but only with Michael's blessing. Ted's in love - with Emmett!

[EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) -- DAY] [EXT. LAS VEGAS COMMUNITY (STOCK) - EVENING] [EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - EVENING] (Camera close up of a hammer pounding a nail into the board.) (Close up of: A circular saw being used to cut a board into two.) (Close up of: A tape measure extended to measure the width, then snapping shut.) (Close up of: A power drill.) (Close up of: A power stapler drilling nails into wood.) (The CONSTRUCTION WORKER carries a box into the building frame. He puts a roll of tape on the box and uses his free arm to push away the plastic sheeting as he walks into the section of the house.) (He looks up, sees something horrible, then drops the box to the ground.) (Camera pulls away to show the dead body, face down on the floor in the center of the room. The CONSTRUCTION WORKER backs out of the room.) Construction Worker: Boss! Boss! (In the background, GREGORY CURTWELL steps down from the ladder as he looks at the CONSTRUCTION WORKER.) Construction Worker: We-we got a problem. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CONSTRUCTION SITE -- DAY] (The building frame is taped off with crime scene tape. GRISSOM ducks under the tape and enters the building. In the background, sirens and indistinct radio chatter sound. GRISSOM makes his way to the room.) (He enters the room. BRASS is already there, crouched low on the side and looking at the body.) (GRISSOM takes his glasses off and looks at the teenager face down, his head in a splatter of blood. He looks around at the walls.) Grissom: Well, clean surfaces make for good analysis. (BRASS gets to his feet. In the background we see what they see, the far walls are covered with blood.) Brass: Yeah. Well, that may be the only good thing. I checked for a wallet, no ID. Nothing on him. (GRISSOM puts his kit down on the ground.) Brass: The kid looks like a minor. Coroner's investigator says he's been dead for over twelve hours. Happened sometime this weekend. (By the camera angle, we see that the kid is in his underwear, his pants down around his knees. GRISSOM kneels down next to the body and sees something in the kid's grip.) Brass: You going to pry that piece of cloth from his hand? Grissom: Not just yet. Brass: Help me out here. Got any ideas on this one? (GRISSOM looks around.) Grissom: Well, based on his pants around the knees, I would say a crime of passion. (GRISSOM gets to his feet. Camera shows a top view of the room to give us a better image of the entire scene at play. The body lies in the center of the empty room, the kid's head in a large spatter of blood.) Grissom: Given the brutality of it ... seems to me an act of rage. HARD CUT TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE -- DAY] (BRASS talks with the CONSTRUCTION SITE FOREMAN. In the background, a black car drives up and parks.) Foreman: You know, I lose an hour a day cleaning up their beer bottles and their cigarette butts. Brass: Kids use it as a hangout, huh? Foreman: Oh, sure. They think the house doesn't have a lock, it belongs to them. Brass: Well, it's a crime scene, so it belongs to us now. Foreman: Yeah. How long? Brass: (sighs) As long as it takes. (WARRICK and SARA get out of the car.) Foreman: You know, I got two teenagers at home, and they know how to respect other people's property. Now, who's going to feed them when I don't get paid for today, huh? Brass: Huh? I can't tell you that. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - ROOM - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (GRISSOM is in the room taking photos when WARRICK and SARA walk in.) Grissom: Take a look at his head, tell me what you see. (SARA steps forward to look down at the body. WARRICK is kneeling in front of the body. He takes off his glasses, then reaches out and pushes the shirt collar aside to show the back of the kid's head.) (Camera zooms in on the impact marking.) Warrick: Definitely blunt force. (SARA recognizes the markings.) Sara: That's a hammerhead. (GRISSOM looks at SARA.) Grissom: I thought you might say that. (SARA steps back and heads toward the door. She looks back at GRISSOM.) Grissom: Well, we know that people often commit crimes in places they're familiar with. (SARA gets it. She turns and heads out the door. She glances out the hallway, then sees that every single construction worker has their own hammer hooked to their utility belt. That's a lot of hammers.) (SARA looks back at GRISSOM.) Sara: You got to be kidding me. (GRISSOM looks at SARA and doesn't say anything. He turns his attention to the walls. SARA glares at GRISSOM, then heads out to get those hammers.) (GRISSOM takes a picture of the blood spatter on the walls.) Warrick: I'll swab the blood and see if it's all his. (WARRICK takes a swab of the blood on the floor under the victim's head. He then pushes the victim's jacket aside to reveal a bloody shoe print underneath.) Warrick: Grissom? (GRISSOM turns and looks at the shoe print. He looks at WARRICK.) Grissom: Well, that should help. [EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (SARA sets up a table to bag and tag the hammers.) Construction Worker: I'll trade you a hammer for a screw. (He laughs and turns to glance back at the long line of workers behind him. They also chuckle along with him.) Sara: Name, please. Construction Worker: I'll tell you mine, you tell me yours. (SARA doesn't smile.) Construction Worker: Oh, come on, baby. I'm stuck with these ugly fools all day. A pretty girl comes by. Just having a little fun. Sara: Yeah, murder always makes me feel a little randy, too. Construction Worker: Ooh. (The CONSTRUCTION WORKER puts his hammer into SARA'S bag.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS COMMUNITY (STOCK) - DAY] [EXT. MITCHELL RESIDENCE -- DAY] (DAVID PHILLIPS and DET. SAM VEGA stand around the body of a WOMAN face-up on the grass. NICK approaches the scene.) Nick: Fellows. David Phillips: Hey, uh, Mrs. Marlene Mitchell, 32. Apparent gunshot wound to the chest. Entry, no exit. No other apparent injuries. (NICK looks at VEGA.) Nick: Do we know who shot her? Vega: I patted down all her friends. Nobody's carrying. Got a couple officers scanning the neighborhood in case the, uh, weapon got tossed. She was breaking up a fight when she went down. Nick: Nobody saw anything? Nobody heard anything? Vega: No. Nick: Somebody's lying. (NICK turns back to see a MAN talking with an OFFICER.) Nick: That the husband? Vega: The current one. The other one -- he's the ex. (NICK turns to see another man talking with another OFFICER.) Nick: Interesting family reunion. Whose brilliant idea was that? Vega: The Mitchell's were moving in. The ex stopped by to say hi. Nick: Don't you hate it when hello leads to gunfire? (VEGA nods.) Nick: I'll need to GSR both. (NICK walks over to the husband.) Nick: Sir? I'm going to need to test your hands for GSR. Mr. Mitchell: What's that? Nick: Gunshot residue. Mr. Mitchell: Why? Nick: To rule you out. Mr. Mitchell: You think I shot my wife the day after our honeymoon. (NICK doesn't say anything. He continues to test for GSR.) Mr. Mitchell: We were just moving our stuff. Her ex, Todd, shows up. He knows he's not supposed to come within 100 yards of her. But he did. (Quick flashback to: MR. MITCHELL and TODD are locked in a fight when MARLENE walks up to them to break it up.) Marlene Mitchell: Stop it! Please? (Suddenly, she slumps back and hits the table out on the lawn. MR. MITCHELL turns from TODD to rush over to MARLENE.) Mr. Mitchell: Marlene? (She doesn't respond. MR. MITCHELL turns to TODD.) Mr. Mitchell: Call 911. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Mr. Mitchell: I thought it was a heart attack. Then I saw the blood. (NICK finishes the test, then turns to see VEGA talking with TODD, MARLENE'S ex-husband. We hear part of what he's saying.) Vega: Yes, but there was a restraining order against you. Why were you here? (NICK turns back to MR. MITCHELL.) Nick: Thank you. (NICK steps away.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CONSTRUCTION SITE -- DAY] (GRISSOM takes the piece of cloth out of the kid's grip.) (Cut to: GRISSOM holds the piece of cloth to the dog's nose.) K-9 Officer: Distinguish! (The K-9 OFFICER stands next to SARA as they watch GRISSOM prep the dog.) K-9 Officer: (to GRISSOM) You ready to run? (GRISSOM points to SARA.) Grissom: She does all my running. Sara: Thanks. (The K-9 OFFICERS and SARA head out.) K-9 Officer: Trail! [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS COMMUNITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. - DAY] (The OFFICERS and SARA follow PENNY, the dog, through the mall, down the stopped escalator.) Sara: It's a hell of a place to get lost. K-9 Officer: Yeah. We have five million olfactory sensory receptors. Penny's got 220 million. She sees the world differently. [PENNY'S POV] (Low Camera shot in black and white with a reddish trail through the mall. She pauses at various other colored "smells" indicated by blues and green hues, but it's the reddish trail she's following.) [RESUME POV] (PENNY stops.) K-9 Officer: The suspect stopped here. (PENNY howls and whimpers. She continues.) [PENNY'S POV] (Low camera shot in black and white with the reddish smell trailing through the mall.) (cc) Trail is still strong here. (The group continues to follow PENNY.) [EXT. BACK ALLEY] (The door opens and the small group exits the mall. PENNY howls and leads them to the dumpster.) K-9 Officer: She's got a hit on the dumpster. (SARA opens the dumpster lid and takes out an empty drink and tray. She holds it out for PENNY to sniff.) K-9 Officer: She's getting nothing, but penny will pick up on anything they touched. (SARA tosses it aside and reaches into the dumpster for the next item. She pulls out two plastic garbage bags.) (PENNY howls as she sniffs the abandoned shopping bag.) K-9 Officer: There we go. (SARA opens the bag. K-9 Officer: There's something in the silver bag. PENNY smells inside. We see by the reddish hue that the smell is inside the bag.) Sara: What do you think? Bought new clothes, ditched the old ones? (SARA takes out a sweater from the bag.) K-9 Officer: What's missing from that sweater's what that dead kid had in his hand. (SARA stands up.) Sara: So, we're looking for a girl who bought a new outfit ... (She looks at the receipts from the bag.) Receipt 1 reads: STORE: 00225 REGISTER: 002 Cashier: 724567 W. SHIRT 29.99 PANTS 49.99 SUBTOTAL 79.98 TAX 5.32 Receipt 2 reads: SALE 2.2 11 59255 EARRINGS 27.99 SUBTOTAL 27.99 27.99 TAX 6.50% 1.82 TOTAL 29.81 Sara: Some earrings and a latte. (She puts the receipt up against the garbage bin cover.) Oh, an iced cappuccino, actually. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- DAY] (ROBBINS has the chest cavity open. NICK stands next to the table watching ROBBINS work on the body.) Robbins: Congealed blood in the pericardium. Heart's what took the bullet. Nick: Explains why she just dropped. Robbins: Yeah, she was dead in seconds. (He feels the heart.) Hmm. Bullet's still in the heart. (He cuts the heart open.) Robbins: Here we go. (He removes the bullet.) Robbins: There. (He holds the bullet out for NICK. NICK takes the bullet and looks at it.) Nick: Well, it looks like a nine millimeter. I'll let Vega know. Robbins: Fairly intact. Want to do the honors? Nick: Sure. (NICK takes a rod and sticks it into the heart to find the depth of the bullet.) Robbins: That's it. (He removes the rod and measures it.) Nick: Four inches? That's shallow. Standard handgun bullet penetration's twelve. Robbins: Right. Nick: Give me a hand, will you? Robbins: Sure. (He hands the ruler to ROBBINS who holds it up as NICK measures the angle.) Nick: Eighty-five degree downward angle? Robbins: Well, that's, uh, fairly standard. Most gunshot wounds are ninety degrees, give or take. (NICK puts the bloody bullet in the bindle.) Nick: Oh. Thanks, doc. Robbins: Right. (NICK turns to leave the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (WARRICK swabs the hammer heads and tests them for blood. One by one, they turn up negative. He tosses the used swabs to the side and keeps opening up fresh swabs. Finally, he finds the hammer that turns the swab pink.) (He looks at the label on the evidence bag.) DATE: 12/10/03 GREGORY CURTWELL CONST. SITE SS {signature} 1. HAMMER [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - AUDIO/VISUAL LAB] (ARCHIE reviews the dressing room security tapes. The time stamp at the bottom of the screen reads: 07:52:15: ... ) Archie Johnson: They say in America, you're on camera an average of seven times a day. Go to a mall, and you can at least triple that. (SARA stands next to ARCHIE watching the video.) Sara: I guess that's good for us. I'm going to think twice the next time I try on a shirt. Archie: Well, legally, they can't put cameras in dressing rooms, but there's legal, and then there's what people do. Sara: Our girl bought her clothes at 8:31. Let's scan the dressing room footage from 8:00 on. (ARCHIE sets the video up and starts the tape.) Sara: Hold it. (At 08:01:09, SARA sees the GIRL on the table.) Sara: That's our sweater. And that's our girl. (ARCHIE speeds the tape up and sees the girl walk out of the store wearing the new clothes.) Archie: She did a walk out. Sara: A "walk out?" Archie: Yeah, my girlfriend does it all the time. She finds something she likes, rips the tags off in the dressing room, hands them to the clerk, and walks out wearing the new stuff. Sara: (smiling) You go shopping with your girlfriend? That's nice. (ARCHIE smiles.) (He freeze-frames the video to 08:16:08.) Archie: Well, you can get her prints from the receipts. DNA from the sweater. And you've got a face. You're close. Sara: Well, look at her. She's a minor. She paid in cash. She's not going to be in any database. Without a name, we don't have much. (WARRICK enters the lab.) Warrick: Okay, one of our hammers had blood on it. It matches the victim's. Sara: Did Greg analyze the clothes from the dumpster yet? Warrick: Yeah. Blood's a match, too. Sara: Okay. So, the question is, what is the connection between this girl and a construction worker? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (BRASS and WARRICK interview GREGORY CURTWELL, the owner of the hammer.) Brass: Mr. Curtwell, where were you this weekend? Gregory Curtwell: I was fishing in Tahoe. Brass: Catch anything? Gregory Curtwell: No. Nothing was biting. Brass: Anyone go with you? Gregory Curtwell: No. Brass: How long were you gone? Gregory Curtwell: Friday to Sunday. Look, I thought I was just here to pick up my hammer. Warrick: Do you ever leave your tools at the job site? Gregory Curtwell: No way. That hammer -- it's perfectly balanced. Brass: Then how do you explain the blood on it? And your injuries. (He looks down at the bruises on his hand.) Gregory Curtwell: Well a construction site. People get hurt. Warrick: The blood that we found on your hammer ... matches this kid right here. (WARRICK stands up and takes a photo of the kid out of the file folder in his hand. He puts it on the table in front of GREGORY CURTWELL. He looks at it and sighs.) Gregory Curtwell: Is that the dead kid from the house? Warrick: Yeah. Gregory Curtwell: I never got a look at him. I-I I didn't go inside. (He looks down at the photo and then back at WARRICK and BRASS.) Warrick: What about her? Gregory Curtwell: That's my kid sister, Ashley. Why? What's she got to do with it? Brass: You tell us. (GREGORY looks at BRASS.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (SARA interviews ASHLEY CURTWELL.) Ashley Curtwell: My parents died in a car accident four years ago. Sara: I'm very sorry. Your brother Gregory is your guardian, right? Ashley Curtwell: Yeah. Sara: And he left you alone all weekend? Ashley Curtwell: He goes away a lot. Sara: Okay. Why don't you tell me what happened last night? [OBSERVATION ROOM] (WARRICK and BRASS watch the interview.) Ashley Curtwell: (over speaker) I was on my way to the mall to get something to eat. I always cut through the construction site. [INTERVIEW ROOM] Ashley Curtwell: My brother tells me not to, but it saves me, like, ten minutes. Sara: That makes sense. What happened after that? Ashley Curtwell: Well, this guy from school, Brian, comes out of nowhere. Sara: Do you know Brian's last name? Ashley Curtwell: (shuddering breath) Yeah. It's, um ... Haddick. We were in homeroom together freshman year. (SARA sees that ASHLEY'S hands are fidgeting nervously with her sweater sleeves.) Ashley Curtwell: So, anyway, he says his cat ran away ... and will I help him find it. Sara: And you did? (ASHLEY looks down and cries softly.) Ashley Curtwell: A cat. I'm so stupid. Sara: You're not stupid, Ashley. I know this is hard. (Tears fall down ASHLEY'S cheeks.) Sara: If we could just go over it from start to finish just one time. Ashley Curtwell: So, we walked into the house ... (She starts to cry.) (Quick flashback to: [CONSTRUCTION SITE - HOUSE - NIGHT] BRIAN HADDICK leads ASHLEY into the house.) Brian Haddick: Come on. Hurry up. (They both walk through the house.) Brian Haddick: I think I saw him come in here. (He leads her into the empty room.) Ashley Curtwell: What color is he? Brian Haddick: Gray. Ashley Curtwell: Here, kitty, kitty. (With her back to him, he grabs her and pushes her up against the wall.) Brian Haddick: You're going to like it, you dirty bitch. You're going to like it. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (SARA glances and sees the bruises around ASHLEY'S right wrist.) Ashley Curtwell: It was like the more I shouted, the more he liked it. (Quick flash to: BRIAN holds ASHLEY up against the wall as she struggles. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Sara: (swallows) Rape is not about s*x. It's about violence. (ASHLEY tugs her sweater sleeves down over her bruised wrists.) Sara: You were against the wall. (Quick flashback to: BRIAN HADDICK has ASHLEY pressed up against the wall.) Ashley Curtwell: No! (As she struggles and cries, someone comes up behind BRIAN HADDICK and hits him over the head. BRIAN falls to the ground and ASHLEY runs out of the place.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Sara: Did you see who hit Brian? (From the Observation Room, WARRICK watches.) Sara: Ashley, after all that had happened, you went shopping? Ashley Curtwell: (crying) He was all over me. I just had to get him off me. Sara: And you got some coffee and some earrings. Ashley Curtwell: What? I bought that stuff? All I remember is getting new clothes and going home. Why does all this bad stuff keep happening to my family? [OBSERVATION ROOM] (BRASS watches.) Brass: She's covering for her brother. (BRASS turns to look at WARRICK.) Warrick: He's got a non-confirmable alibi. I'm sure she doesn't want to lose the only guardian she's got. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - DAY] (ROBBINS goes over the preliminary findings with GRISSOM.) Robbins: It's pretty obvious the initial blows were to the head. Grissom: Well, according to Sara, that's consistent with the girl's story. Robbins: Whoever attacked him just kept going. Used some real force. Severed his spinal cord at C-l, C-2. (ROBBINS points to the viewbox with the x-rays up. GRISSOM glances back at them. He turns to look at ROBBINS.) Grissom: Well, that would have rendered him immobile. Robbins: Right, so why keep hitting? (ROBBINS pulls the sheet back to show GRISSOM the marks on the upper arms.) Robbins: The epidermis was disturbed, leaving areas of exposed derma, which we'd normally see as red or purple abrasions. But in this case, no blood rushed to the area. Grissom: He was beaten postmortem. Robbins: Right. Grissom: So, Gregory Curtwell sees Brian attacking his sister. His adrenaline starts going, and he can't stop. (ROBBINS shows GRISSOM the bruises on the victim's knuckles.) Robbins: Well, Brian may have gotten off a punch of his own. I can't identify the pattern, but I sent blood and skin transfer to Greg. (ROBBINS hands the file with the autopsy photos inside to GRISSOM.) Robbins: And you're going to need these. Grissom: Thanks. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (GRISSOM shows the photos to BRIAN HADDICK'S parents.) Mr. Haddick: That's our son. Mrs. Haddick: Who could have done this to my baby? Grissom: Do you recognize this girl? (GRISSOM shows them the security video photo of ASHLEY CURTWELL. They look at the photo and shake their heads.) Grissom: Did Brian ever mention the name Ashley Curtwell? Mrs. Haddick: He got a little out of hand for a while. We couldn't keep track of his friends. Grissom: "Out of hand"? Mrs. Haddick: I found some marijuana in his room. Broke curfew. The nipple piercing was the last straw. Mr. Haddick: I told him he could do anything he wanted to the body God gave him once he moved out. Until then ... Mrs. Haddick: He was grounded. But he was doing so much better. His grades were up. He got a job. Grissom: Where did he work? Mr. Haddick: My brother owns a restaurant. Got him a job bussing and waiting tables. Five hundred bucks every two weeks. (GRISSOM nods slowly.) Mr. Haddick: Cash under the table. Pretty good for a kid who can't drive. (MRS. HADDICK cries.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BALLISTICS LAB] (BOBBY DAWSON goes over the bullet findings with NICK.) Bobby Dawson: No GSR on either the husband's or ex-husband's hands. Nick: That's not definitive. One of them still could have fired the gun and washed his hands. Bobby Dawson: Yeah. Well, you know, you asked me to check Marlene Mitchell's bullet for trace? Nick: (nods) Hmm. Bobby Dawson: Well, there isn't any. It's in pristine condition. Nick: The only reason for shallow penetration is loss of momentum. Bobby Dawson: Yeah, and it was a standard full metal jacket, not a pre-fragmented. Nick: So, assuming that the bullet didn't come in contact with any intervening object, what slowed it down? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB] (GREG is in the lab when WARRICK walks in.) Warrick: Hey, Sanders, you got anything on that knuckle sludge? Grissom's asking. (GREG picks up the test results from the side.) Greg: Yeah, a skin sample taken from Brian Haddick's defensive wounds, hair samples from Ashley Curtwell, and buccal swab collected from Gregory Curtwell. No match to the brother or sister. Construction worker didn't do it. (GREG hands the test results to WARRICK.) Warrick: Or he didn't do it alone. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - BUILDING ROOM -- CRIME SCENE] (GRISSOM, SARA and WARRICK are back at the crime scene.) Sara: Seventy-two-degree impact angle puts Brian here for the initial blows. (Quick flashback to: The beating. End of flashback. Resume to present.) (SARA kneels down to measure the size of the blood spatter on the wall.) Sara: Width is three millimeters. Length is six. (WARRICK punches in the figures in a hand-held calculating device.) Warrick: Arcsine gives us 30 degrees. Sara: So, Brian was crawling. (Quick flashback to: The attacker hits BRIAN behind his neck, BRIAN falls to his knees. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Warrick: That must be when his neck was exposed. (Quick flashback to: BRIAN is hit behind his neck. Quick CGI POV to a close up of the spinal cord being severed. Resume Flashback. BRIAN is flat on the floor as the attacker continues to beat him on his neck. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: He ended up here on the floor with his spinal cord severed. Warrick: Well, if he was laying down, this looks too high to be a spatter. (WARRICK walks over to the blood spatter on the walls.) Warrick: Must be cast-off. (SARA looks at the blood spatter on the walls.) Sara: On three walls. Assailants tend to move only in reaction to a target, Brian was stationary. (GRISSOM slowly gets to his feet as he gets an idea.) Sara: Why would the attacker keep moving? It doesn't make sense. Grissom: It does if there were three hammers and three attackers. (SARA turns to look at GRISSOM.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. CSI - FILE ROOM -- NIGHT] (CATHERINE is going through the filing cabinet drawers as NICK walks past the room. He turns and sees her. He walks into the room.) Nick: Hey, Catherine, feel like doin' some real work? Catherine: And leave all this? Nick: I got a woman who DFO'd in front of her house trying to break up a fight. It's a single gunshot wound to the chest. The penetration is ... shallow. I want to know why. Catherine: And you want me to cook? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (CATHERINE makes gel molds.) (Cut to: In another lab, NICK makes several bullets at varying weights.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BALLISTICS LAB] (NICK and BOBBY DAWSON prepare the guns as CATHERINE rolls in the gel molds on a cart.) Catherine: Okay, boys. There's always room for jell-O. Nick: Oh, yeah. Bobby Dawson: Uh, Catherine, technically, that's just gel. Catherine: I wasn't planning on eating it. (CATHERINE puts the mold on the table.) Bobby Dawson: Okay, let's shoot it. (She walks back where BOBBY offers her ear phones.) Bobby Dawson: Betty Crocker. (BOBBY puts on his protective eyewear. Everyone puts on their eye wear and ear phones. BOBBY loads the first bullet.) Bobby Dawson: (loudly) Firing one at 100%! (He fires. The bullet pierces into the gel mold.) Nick: Standard velocity is 1,100 feet per second. (CATHERINE measures the distance the bullet traveled into the mold.) Catherine: All right, that is A ... twelve-inch penetration. (NICK and BOBBY share a look and a smile.) Catherine: So ... a, um ... hundred percent load gives us twelve inches. (Cut to: BOBBY fires the second bullet.) Bobby Dawson: (loudly) Firing one at 70%! (CATHERINE measures the bullet in the mold.) Catherine: Seven and three-quarter inches. (Cut to: BOBBY fires the third bullet.) Bobby Dawson: (loudly) Firing one at 40%! (NICK checks the read-out.) Nick: 500 and ... 50 feet per second. (CATHERINE measures the penetration.) Catherine: Four inches. Bobby Dawson: Same as Ms. Mitchell. Catherine: So Mrs. Mitchell was shot by a bullet traveling 550 feet per second. Nick: Now that we know the speed, we can calculate the distance. Thanks, Catherine. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BALLISTICS LAB -- LATER] (BOBBY and NICK figure it out.) Bobby Dawson: So standard velocity for a nine millimeter bullet is 1,100 feet per second. Nick: How far does a nine millimeter bullet have to travel before it slows down to 550 feet per second? Bobby Dawson: Let's see. (They put it in the computer and get a calculation.) Bobby Dawson: Eighteen hundred feet. Whoa. We're talking six football fields. Nick: Yeah, that would pretty much eliminate anyone that was in the Mitchell's front yard. Can a nine millimeter bullet even travel that far? Bobby Dawson: Hang on. (BOBBY clears the screen and picks up a pen.) Bobby Dawson: All right. If a nine millimeter were fired straight ... it'd go about 600 feet before gravity brought it down, but if a bullet were fired at an angle ... could go a heck of a lot further. Nick: That would account for the distance, but ms. Mitchell was shot at an eighty-five-degree angle. That's basically perpendicular. Bobby Dawson: Um ... bullets are predictable. Nick: People ... aren't. (NICK looks at the photos in the file again. He thinks about it.) (Quick flashback to: MR. MITCHELL and TODD are fighting. MARLENE MITCHELL steps between them to stop the fight.) Marlene Mitchell: No, stop it! (She's pushed back and falls back on the mattress with a bullet hole in her chest.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Nick: I assumed she was standing. (NICK reaches for the laptop and pen.) Nick: Okay, this is the Mitchell's house, (NICK puts the map of the community on the monitor.) Nick: ... and by all eyewitness accounts, she was standing in front the house, facing away north, when she was shot, so this line represents the 1,800 feet our bullet traveled. (NICK calculates the 1800 feet away from the house.) Nick: It had to have come from somewhere ... on that arc. (A red line in an arc appears on the monitor.) Bobby Dawson: Good luck knocking on doors. (They both smile.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- HALLWAY] (BRASS finds GRISSOM in the hallway.) Brass: Here I'm looking for three guys, but you only found one hammer with blood on it, so who do you want me to follow? Grissom: Me. (GRISSOM turns and enters the lab. BRASS follows him.) [INT. LAB - CONTINUOUS] (WARRICK is in the lab sitting at the table at a laptop.) Grissom: What's up? Warrick: The shoe tread I found at the scene -- it's a world industries Diablo. It's a skate shoe. Size 11. Brass: On a construction worker? Warrick: Screams 'teenager', I know. Grissom: Why is Gregory Curtwell hanging out with teenage boys? Warrick: Well, he has a teenage sister. Brass: And the sister and Brian Haddick were both students at McKinley high. Grissom: I bet the shoe also goes to school there. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MCKINLEY HIGH -- DAY] [INT. MCKINLEY HIGH - GYM - DAY] (The kids wearing sneakers are in the gym sitting on the bleachers. WARRICK walks down the bleachers looking at their sneakers.) Warrick: Nice kicks. I like those. Teenaged Boy: Thank you. Warrick: You guys play ball? Teenaged Boy: Yeah. Warrick: Yeah? Teenaged Boy: Uh-huh. Warrick: Nice backpack. Teenaged Boy: Thanks. (Cut to: BRASS walks with the PRINCIPAL along floors. The PRINCIPAL appears nervous at what's going on.) Principal: We're treading a razor-thin line of illegal search and seizure here. Brass: Now, I'm not a with you, but shoes are a plain-view item. (BRASS leads the PRINCIPAL to GRISSOM.) Brass: Anyway, here's the guy who's going to be investigating ... (They're interrupted by a Father who walks along the floors. He motions to his son.) Tyler's Dad: Tyler, come on, we're going. (TYLER stands up and follows his dad who walks straight to the group.) Tyler's Dad: Are you crazy? Do you know what my law firm does? You can't question these kids without a parent present. Brass: We're not questioning them, which is why you're here-- so we can. Tyler's Dad: (to the PRINCIPAL) Oh. And I'm holding you responsible. Principal: Clark County Law Enforcement and I have taken every precaution to make sure that these students' rights were not violated. Tyler's Dad: You are sequestering these kids without probable cause. I hate that I've been called out of work to come down here, and I'm going to be so far up your ass, you're not going to be able to sit down straight. Grissom: You know what I hate? People who hurt kids. And you know who those people sometimes are? Tyler's Dad: Cops? Grissom: Other kids. If it had been your son whose skull was smashed in with a hammer, you'd be asking me where I was when I should've been protecting him. Kids bring guns to school to shoot other kids, so who are you protecting? Tyler's Dad: Let's discuss it in court. (TYLER'S DAD turns and leaves.) Principal: (to BRASS) Excuse me. (The PRINCIPAL follows him.) Brass: Well, way to clear a room. Principal: Those of you with parents here are dismissed, and the rest of you please wait here. (Many of the kids stand up and head down the bleachers to the floor. One kid who doesn't move continues to sit there as if he knows that his parents aren't in that group mentioned. WARRICK looks at the kid and notices his sneakers.) Warrick: Brass. (BRASS walks over to WARRICK. They both see the blood on his sneakers.) Warrick: Check this out. Brass: Hey, bud. What's your name? Benny Lizzio: Benny. Brass: Benny, where's your father? Is he around? Benny Lizzio: Uh, he's at home. Probably called in drunk. Brass: Well, lucky for you, we make house calls. (BRASS smiles.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS COMMUNITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. LIZZIO RESIDENCE -- DAY] (MR. LIZZIO walks into the house to find his son, BENNY, with WARRICK and BRASS.) Mr. Lizzio: You good for nothing little b*st*rd ... I knew you stole that game thing. A hundred and twenty-five bucks, my ass. Benny Lizzio: I told you. I bought that with my own money. Mr. Lizzio: You talkin' back to me? Huh? (MR. LIZZIO reaches out and whacks BENNY on the side of his head. BRASS breaks it up.) Brass: Hey ... Let's sit down. Let's all sit down. Come on. (MR. LIZZIO and BENNY both move over to the couch. BENNY sits down, but MR. LIZZIO remains standing.) (BRASS sighs and moves over to WARRICK.) Brass: Look, I'll take this. Let 'em argue diminished capacity after the fact. Warrick: You think they know how a DNA test works? Brass: I don't know. Let's find out. (BRASS turns to MR. LIZZIO.) Brass: Mr. Lizzio, do you mind if we test Benny's sneaker for DNA? Mr. Lizzio: You do what you got to do, officers. Warrick: Lift your right shoe, please. (WARRICK takes the sample and tests to see if it's human.) Warrick: We got a problem. The blood on your shoe is a match to Brian Haddick's. (WARRICK flips the test to show them.) Warrick: DNA doesn't lie. Brass: So, do you want to tell us how a dead kid's blood ended up on the bottom of your sneaker, Benny? Mr. Lizzio: Yeah, Benny. Why don't you tell us that? Benny Lizzio: Sometimes I go to the construction site just to hang out. (Quick flashback to: BENNY walks through the construction site. He's distracted with trying to get a cigarette out of the carton when he realizes that he's nearly upon the body. He backs away, but not before leaving behind the shoeprint.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Brass: So, you just, uh ... happened upon it? Didn't report it to anybody? Benny Lizzio: I was trespassing. I didn't want to get in trouble. Warrick: Mr. Lizzio, would you mind if I took a look around? Mr. Lizzio: Be my guest. (WARRICK looks around as BRASS keeps MR. LIZZIO occupied.) Brass: Mr. Lizzio, why don't you sit down? We're going to be a while, okay? You been drinking today, Mr. Lizzio? Mr. Lizzio: Couple of beers. (WARRICK leaves the room and looks around. He walks into the garage and finds a tube of lip gloss on the chair. He looks at the CDs. He then sees the smashed watermelons on the floor on the plastic. He sees the hammer on the shelf.) (Quick flashback to: Watermelons are being smashed with the hammer. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Warrick: Practice makes perfect. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (BRASS puts a tape recorder down on the table as he starts his interview with BENNY LIZZIO.) Brass: So, Benny, for the record, you've waived your right to have your parent or an advocate present. Benny Lizzio: Yep. Brass: So, how do you know Brian? Benny Lizzio: We hung out a few times when we were freshmen. Brass: You know Gregory Curtwell? Benny Lizzio: Ashley's brother? Yeah. He bought me beer a couple times. Brass: Oh, so you know Ashley, too? Benny Lizzio: Yeah. I'm a friendly guy. Brass: Well, that's good, Benny, because... (BRASS clears his throat and sits down.) Brass: ... you're looking at murder. And if you're friendly and you cooperate, and you tell me what happened to Brian Haddick, maybe I can cut you a deal. Benny Lizzio: Ain't gonna happen. I'm no snitch. Brass: You want to tell me about those melons at your house? You looking to be another Gallagher? You know who that is? Benny Lizzio: Since when is whacking fruit a crime? Brass: When it's practice for whacking people. (BENNY nervously looks away for a moment.) Brass: Your hammer had Brian's blood all over it. Understand something, Benny, I'm talking about months versus years of juvenile detention. It's your call. Benny Lizzio: (shrugs) They got cable? Food? My dad locked on the outside? Sounds good to me. Besides, I'm a minor. By the time I'm 21, it's like it never happened. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB] (As he puts on his gloves, GRISSOM walks into the lab. GREG follows. WARRICK and SARA are already there. WARRICK looks up.) Warrick: Did he roll? Grissom: Brass says the kid is looking forward to going to jail. Warrick: Hmm. Grissom: So, what do we got here? Warrick: It's hard to tell what's relevant and what's trash. This is everything we brought back from Benny's party room. (GRISSOM picks up the small evidence bag of rubber bands. He looks at it unable to make heads or tails of what it is.) Grissom: Are these ... ? (He looks at SARA.) Grissom: Spaghetti-oh's? Sara: I don't think so. Greg: Nah. Nah, those would be orthodontic rubber bands. Hook 'em to your braces, uh, upper to lower. Helps pull the jaw in the right direction. Also great for flinging. Yeah, I had it all -- palate expander, braces, retainer, head gear. Ah, five years of misery, but worth every penny, don't you think? (GREG looks at SARA and grins, showing her his perfect teeth. GRISSOM opens the bag of lip gloss. He opens the lip gloss and smells it.) Greg: Um, there might be some saliva residue on them. I can see what I can pull off, if you want. Sara: Yeah. Would you? Greg: Well, you're going to need something. Strike three on the knuckles. (GREG hands SARA the test results.) Warrick: Benny's DNA doesn't match. Gregory's doesn't match. Ashley's doesn't match. Who did this guy hit? Grissom: Greg, test both of these. (GRISSOM hands GREG the two evidence bags.) Grissom: If a third guy has braces, it may explain the strange pattern on Brian's hand. Sara: It's probably another student, but Benny's not talking. Warrick: Benny has a party room, right? You can't have a party without the music. I found some new CD's in his room. (GRISSOM looks at the CD's in the evidence bag.) Grissom: What's "C & D"? Warrick: It's like a music club, twelve CDs for the price of one. (GRISSOM looks at the address label: GILBERT, AARON 7748 CANYON AVE LAS VEGAS, NV 89123 Grissom: And Aaron Gilbert was...? (SARA picks up a piece of watermelon and looks at it.) Warrick: (to GRISSOM) The deejay maybe? Sara: You know, at this time of year, watermelon isn't cheap, particularly organic. Maybe the music isn't the only thing that Aaron Gilbert brought to the party. (SARA shows them the watermelon skin. GRISSOM looks at the sticker on the watermelon skin: GILBERT ORGANIC FARMS.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS COMMUNITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. RESIDENCE -- DAY] (NICK and DET. SAM VEGA interview a YOUNG MOTHER in the community.) Young Mother: Yeah, I heard gunfire a couple of days ago. Johnnie, the idiot behind us, was playing like G.I. Joe in his backyard. I screamed out my window. I got kids, you know? Why do you want to know? Nick: Just curious. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. JOHNNIE'S RESIDENCE - DAY] (NICK and DET. SAM VEGA interview JOHNNIE.) Johnnie: She called you guys, right? It's like having a wife. Gun's brand-new. Shot it one time. She told me to stop, I stopped. Det. Sam Vega: Sir, you're going to have to tell us where that gun is. (JOHNNIE turns and heads back into the house to get the gun.) [SCENE_BREAK] (NICK has the gun in his hand.) Nick: And this is the gun that you fired? Johnnie: Yeah. (NICK checks the cartridge.) Nick: Empty ten-round magazine. Det. Sam Vega: It was full when you started? Johnnie: Yeah. (NICK walks over to the target board JOHNNIE set up at the end of the yard. He checks out the holes.) Nick: I, uh, only count nine holes in your target. Johnnie: I must have missed one. Nick: Oh, you didn't miss. (Quick flashback to: [EXT. BACKYARD - DAY] JOHNNIE is out in his back yard firing his gun at the board.) (The YOUNG MOTHER next door leans out and shouts.) Young Mother: Hey! You want to kill someone?! (Distracted, JOHNNIE turns as he fires. The bullet goes high into the air.) (cc) YOUNG MOTHER: Put that thing away! I have kids! (The bullet comes down and hits MARLENE MITCHELL in the chest.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (SAM VEGA puts the handcuffs on JOHNNIE.) Det. Sam Vega: Just nice and easy. Nick: You see, your neighbor didn't lose her kid, but six blocks away, a guy lost his wife. Johnnie: It was just a little target practice. Nick: And that's why it's illegal to discharge firearms within the city limits, genius. (NICK turns and leads VEGA and JOHNNIE out the backyard.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. McKINLEY HIGH SCHOOL - LOCKERS - DAY] (BRASS, WARRICK and SARA walk up to AARON GILBERT.) Brass: Aaron Gilbert? (AARON removes the ear phones.) Aaron Gilbert: Yeah. Brass: I'm detective Brass, Las Vegas police. We need to talk. Aaron Gilbert: Oh, dude, I got to get home. My mom's waiting for me and my brother. Warrick: Oh, we talked to your mom. Sara: Yeah, she gave us your hammer and this. (SARA shows AARON a twenty dollar bill with a bloody print on it.) Jared: Yo, Dawg, we going or what? (SARA turns and sees another boy walk up to AARON. JARED has a cut on his upper lip.) Warrick: Or what ... Dawg. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM A] (BRASS interviews AARON GILBERT in the presence of a Child Advocate.) Brass: That's a nice walkman you had. What'd that cost? 125 bucks? Same as Benny's gameboy. Same as your brother's secret stash. (AARON doesn't say anything.) Brass: Speaking of Benny, he's not too smart, is he? He wouldn't give up you and your brother for a lesser sentence. You know what? There's an opportunity here, and I think you got more on the ball than Benny. Tell me what happened. (Camera pans over from one interview room into the next one.) [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM B] (WARRICK interview JARED GILBERT in the presence of a Child Advocate.) Warrick: Jared ... ain't braces a bitch? I see that cut on your lip. Is that where Brian hit you? They do make for a good impression though. (WARRICK pushes the photo of the bruises from BRIAN'S knuckles on the table toward JARED.) Warrick: See all these grooves here? It's perfect for storing DNA. That would be your DNA. Look, Jared, I'm not a cop, but if you tell me what happened, I will put in a good word for you. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM] (The team meets and discusses the case.) Sara: We have a problem. We have three hammers and four suspects. Warrick: Well, the Gilbert brothers both seem ready to go down for it. Brass: And Benny can't wait to go to jail. Sara: If they were defending Ashley against an attacker, why not say so? Grissom: They weren't. The smashed watermelon suggests the whole thing was premeditated. Sara: Making the motive robbery? Warrick: Well, Benny, Aaron and Jared each had about $125 worth of cash and assorted prizes. Grissom: $375. Brian's parents said that he was being paid $500 every two weeks. Cash under the table. Sara: It was payday, so who got the other $125? Warrick: Well, Gregory Curtwell makes good money. Hundred twenty-five bucks is a spit in the ocean for a construction worker. If he wasn't defending his sister, then he has no motive. Brass: Well, if he didn't do it, how did his hammer end up with Brian's blood on it? (SARA looks at ASHLEY'S receipts.) Sara: Clothing-- $85; earrings - $30; coffee-- four dollars. Getting away with murder ... Grissom: ... priceless. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM] (SARA re-interviews ASHLEY CURTWELL.) Sara: That hand that holds the wallet is the hand that rules the world. Huh, Ashley? (SARA puts the photos on the table to show ASHLEY.) Sara: Your fingerprint in Brian's blood on Jared's money. This is what we call "completing the triangle." Ashley: Okay. So he attacked me, and I did see who defended me. But I didn't want to get my friends in trouble, and the money was for, like ... like, pain and suffering. Sara: (interrupts) You weren't attacked, Ashley. Brian was. We figured none of the boys wore cotton candy, so we had it tested. (SARA puts the evidence bag with the lip gloss on the table in front of ASHLEY.) Sara: Turns out you were at Benny's house, too. (Quick flashback to: [BENNY'S HOUSE] ASHLEY puts on her lip gloss. She jumps up on the couch as the boys circle the watermelons with their hammers.) Ashley Curtwell: Let's do it! (Hard rock music plays in the background as ASHLEY urges the boys on.) Ashley: Come on, guys! Whoo! (The boys use the hammers and pulverize the watermelons.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Sara: At the mall, you weren't in shock, you were celebrating. (Quick flashback to: ASHLEY shopping at the mall. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Sara: Your brother was up in Tahoe this past weekend, wasn't he? Ashley Curtwell: He goes away almost every weekend. Sara: (interrupts) You know, I'm done with the Ashley pity party. My guess is Aaron and Jared only had one hammer, but you had access to your brother's tools. Why Brian? Ashley Curtwell: Before he went straight, we were buds, but then he got too good for us, but he wasn't too good to want to get with this. (Quick flashback to: [CONSTRUCTION SITE - NIGHT] BRIAN and ASHLEY are at the site.) Brian Haddick: Where do you want to do it at? ASHLEY CURTWELL: Right here. BRIAN HADDICK: In here? ASHLEY CURTWELL: Yeah. (BRIAN unbuckles his belt and lowers his pants. ASHLEY laughs and pulls away.) Ashley Curtwell: (laughs) Stop. (The other boys walk into the room.) Brian Haddick: You set me up? Ashley Curtwell: Get him! (The boys begin to attack BRIAN, beating him with their hammers as they did the watermelons.) Ashley Curtwell: Get him! (Blood spurts everywhere.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Sara: You're not a victim, you were a lure. Do you know how many people don't report a rape because they're afraid that no one will believe them? Ashley Curtwell: (wide-eyed) Of course. It's what I was counting on. Sara: I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that you're tried as an adult. Ashley Curtwell: Good luck. I dress up real nice -- couple barrettes, little lace collar, two dead parents. I'll be the saddest little girl in the world. FADE TO BLACK

Plan: A: Grissom; Q: Who is the main character of the episode? A: Warrick; Q: Who is the third investigator on the case? A: 15-year-old; Q: How old was the boy who was found beaten to death with a hammer? A: a construction site; Q: Where was the boy found dead? A: Nick; Q: Who is Catherine's partner in the investigation of the murder of a woman? A: a woman; Q: Who was killed by a gunshot in her front yard? A: her husband; Q: Who was arguing with the woman's ex-husband? A: The boy's murder; Q: What is based on the 2003 murder of Jason Sweeney? Summary: Grissom, Sara and Warrick investigate when a 15-year-old boy is found beaten to death with a hammer at a construction site. Meanwhile, Nick and Catherine try to find out how a woman was killed by a gunshot in her front yard while her husband and ex-husband were arguing over her. The boy's murder is based on the 2003 murder of Jason Sweeney .

1x01: A Hard Day's Night Meredith VO: The game. They say either a person has what it takes to play, or they don't. My mother was one of the greats. Me, on the other hand...I'm kinda screwed. (Meredith wakes up on the couch and pulls a blanket off a naked man on the floor, wrapping it around herself. She hits him with a pillow and he grunts, waking up. He lifts up her bra.) Man: This...is...? Meredith: (grabbing it, smiling) Humiliating on so many levels. You have to go. Man: (sitting up) Why don't you just come back down here and we'll pick up where we left off? Meredith: No, seriously. You have to go, I'm late. Which isn't what you want to be on your first day of work, so Man: So, ah, you actually live here. Meredith: No. Man: Oh. Meredith: Yes. Kind of. Man: (dressing) Oh. It's nice. Little dusty. Odd. But it's nice. So how do you kind of live here? Meredith: I moved two weeks ago from Boston, it was my mother's house, I'm selling it. Man: Oh, I'm sorry. Meredith: For what? Man: You said was. Meredith: Oh! My mother's not dead, she's - you know what, we don't have to do the thing. Man: Oh. We can do anything you want. Meredith: No, the thing, exchange the details, pretend we care...look, I'm gonna go upstairs and take a shower, okay, and when I get back down here, you won't be here, so, um, goodbye...um... Man: Derek. Meredith: (they shake hands) Derek. Right. Meredith. Derek: Meredith. Meredith: Yeah. (he comes closer, she backs away) Mm-hmm. Derek: Nice meeting you. Meredith: Bye Derek (smiling and fleeing for the stairs). (Cut to Meredith leaving the house. Derek is presumably gone. Panning shots over the city as Meredith drives to work. Meredith enters a room filled with other interns as a doctor talks.) Doctor: Each of you comes here hopeful. Wanting in on the game. A month ago you were in med school being taught by doctors. Today, you are the doctors. The seven years you spend here as a surgical resident will be the best and worst of your life. You will be pushed to the breaking point. Look around you. Say hello to your competition. Eight of you will switch to an easier specialty. Five of you will crack under the pressure. Two of you will be asked to leave. This is your starting line. This is your arena. How well you play? That's up to you. Meredith VO: Like I said. I'm screwed. (Fadeout to logo, then cut to intern locker room.) Doctor: Okay. Martin, Robinson, Bond, Parkins. Meredith: Only six women out of twenty. Female Korean intern (Cristina Yang): Yeah. I hear one of them's a model. Seriously, like that's going to help with the respect thing? Meredith: You're Cristina, right? Cristina: Which resident you assigned to? I got Bailey. Meredith: The Nazi? Yeah, me too. Male intern (George O'Malley): You got the Nazi? So did I. At least we'll be tortured together, right? I'm George O'Malley, uh, we met at the mixer, you had a black dress with a slit up the side, strappy sandals...(Cristina and Meredith exchange looks) George: Now you think I'm gay. Cristina: (walking away) Uh-huh. George: No, I'm not gay, it's, ah, it's just that, you know, you were, I mean, you were very, unforgettable. Doctor: O'Malley, Yang, Grey, Stevens. George: (muttering) And I'm totally forgettable. Cristina: (to Doctor) Bailey? Doctor: End of the hall. Cristina: That's the Nazi? (Medium shot of Dr. Bailey. She's short, black and a bit overweight. She doesn't look very threatening.) George: I thought the Nazi would be a guy. Meredith: I thought the Nazi would be...the Nazi. Pretty female intern (Izzie Stevens): Maybe it's professional jealousy. Maybe she's brilliant, and they call her Nazi because they're jealous. Maybe she's nice. Cristina: Let me guess. You're the model. (Izzie gives Cristina a look and turns to Dr. Bailey, smiling and extending a hand) Izzie: Hi, I'm Isabel Stevens, but everyone calls me Izzie. (Bailey looks her up and down, doesn't respond or shake her hand) Bailey: I have five rules. Memorise them. Rule number one, don't bother sucking up, I already hate you, that's not gonna change. (indicates stuff on the bench) Trauma protocol, phone lists, pagers. Nurses will page you, you answer every page at a run. A run, that's rule number two. Your first shift starts now and lasts forty-eight hours. You're interns, (�Hour 1' comes up on the screen), grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain, you run labs, write orders, work every second night till you drop and don't complain! (Cut to Bailey opening the door to a room with a couple of bunk beds). On call rooms. Attendings hog them, sleep when you can, where you can, which brings me to rule number three, if I'm sleeping, don't wake me, unless your patient is actually dying. Rule number four, the dying patient better not be dead when I get there, not only would you have killed someone, you would have also woke me for no good reason, we clear? (Meredith raises a hand.) Bailey: Yes. Meredith: You said five rules. That was only four. (Bailey's pager beeps). Bailey: Rule number five. When I move, you move. (runs down the corridor, followed by the interns, yells at a few doctors blocking the hallway) Get out of my way! (Cut to shot of a helicopter over the city, cut to the interns and Bailey moving a stretcher over to it, on the roof of the hospital.) Bailey: What've we got? Paramedic: (as Katie's put on the stretcher and taken in to the hospital) Katie Bryce, fifteen-year-old female, new onset seizures, intermittent for the past week, ID lost en route, started grand mal seizing as we descended. Bailey: All right, get her on her side, Izzie, ten milligrams Diazepam, no, no, the white lead is on the right, righty whitey, smoke over fire, a large bore I.V. don't let the blood haemolyse, let's go! (Izzie injects her and she stops seizing. A new doctor, Preston Burke, enters, black, tall, young.) Burke: So I heard we got a wet fish on dry land? Bailey: Absolutely Dr. Burke. Burke: Dr. Bailey, I'm gonna shotgun her. Bailey: That means every test in the book, CT, CBC, chem. seven, tux screen, Cristina, you're on labs, George, patient workups, Meredith, get Katie for a CT, she's your responsibility now. Izzie: Wait, what about me? Bailey: You - honey, you get to do rectal exams. (Cut to Izzie pulling on gloves and covering her fingers with gel. Cut to Cristina peering into an operating room, where Bailey is.) Bailey: What are you doing here? Cristina: Um, Katie Bryce's labs came out clear, there's nothing in the results that explain her seizures, I just thought you'd wanna know. Bailey: Okay. (goes to pull her mask back up and close the door) Cristina: Ah, I - I heard every year the attending on call picks the best intern and, and lets them perform a procedure, during the first shift? (Bailey stares at her) I'm, I'm just saying it's what I heard... Bailey: Go away. Now. (Cut to George using a stethoscope.) George: Yeah, sounds good. Woman: He'll be fine? You'll be fine. Patient: (smiling, lying back) If you don't count that my bacon days are over, sure. George: You'll have surgery tomorrow with Dr. Burke, I hear he's good, and after that, you can have all of the bacon-flavoured soy product you can eat. Patient: Mmm, kill me now. George: I wish I could, but I'm a healer. (gets weird looks) (Cut to Meredith with Katie (on a bed) in an elevator.) Katie: You're lost. Meredith: I'm not lost. How are you feeling? Katie: How do you think I'm feeling? I'm missing my pageant. Meredith: You're missing your pageant. (wheeling her out of the elevator and around a corner) Katie: The Spokane Teen Miss? I was in the top ten after the first two rounds. This is my year. I could've won. (sitting up, being wheeled back around the same way) Hello? You're so lost. What are you, like, new? (Cut to Izzie...doing her job.) Izzie: Okay, so I'm gonna, just gonna, insert my fingers...into your rectum. (Cut to George giving his patient an injection. And again. It's hurting the patient. Cut back to Izzie's face. Cut back to George) George: Nope. (Cut back to Izzie, who's really disgusted now but not saying anything. Cut back to George's patient. Dr Burke is pulling on a glove.) Burke: (to George) Out. Out. George: Bet you missed a lot when you first started out. (Burke looks derisive.) (Cut to Katie and Meredith.) Katie: I twisted my ankle. I do rhythmic gymnastics, which is like, really cool. Nobody else does it. And I tripped over my ribbon, and I didn't get stuck with someone this clueless. And that was like, a nurse. (Cut to Burke) Burke: (to George) You and I are going to have so much fun together. (Cut to Izzie closing a curtain, cut to the cafeteria. HOUR 7.) George sits down. Izzie is staring at the food with some horror. George: This shift is a marathon, not a sprint, eat. Izzie: I can't. George: You should eat something. Izzie: You try eating after performing seventeen rectal exams. The Nazi hates me. George: The Nazi's a resident. I have attendings hating me. Cristina: You know Meredith is inbred? George: Like it's uncommon around here to be a doctor's - Cristina: No, I mean royally inbred. Her mother is Ellis Grey. Izzie: Shut up, the Ellis Grey? Cristina: Uh-huh. George: Who's Ellis Grey? Izzie and Cristina laugh. Cristina: The Grey method? Where'd you go to med school, Mexico? Izzie: She was one of the first big chick surgeons, she practically invented the abdominal- Cristina: She's a living legend, she won the Harper Avery. Twice. George: So I didn't know one thing. Izzie: Talk about parental pressure. Cristina: I would kill to have Ellis Grey as a mother. I would kill to be Ellis Grey. All I need is one good case. (Meredith comes over and sits down with her tray). Meredith: Katie Bryce is a pain in the ass. If I hadn't taken the Hippocratic oath, I'd Kevorkian her with my bare hands (everybody stares at her). Meredith: What? Burke: Good afternoon interns. It's posted, but I thought I'd share the good news personally. As you know, the honour of performing the first surgery is reserved for the intern that shows the most promise. As I'm running the OR today, I get to make that choice. (he claps George on the back) George O'Malley. You'll scrub in for an adipectomy this afternoon. Congratulations. George: Me? Burke: Enjoy. Burke leaves, no one speaks. George: Did he say me? Cut to another part of the hospital. Bailey: I've seen his file. George O'Malley barely made the cut to get into this program, he's not your guy. Burke: No, he's my guy all right. Bailey: sh1t, every year you pick your guy, and every year your guy suffers more than any other intern on surgery. Burke: Terrorise one, and the rest fall in line. Bailey: I get it, I respect it, but George? O'Malley's a puppy, he can't even take the pressure. (walking away. Camera moves to a man and a woman, not doctors) Woman: Katie Bryce, 3604? Nurse: It's right there. Woman: Thank you. (Cut to inside Katie's room.) Woman: Katie, honey, mom and dad are here. Meredith: They gave her a sedative for the CT scan, so she's a little groggy. Mother: Will she be all right? Father: Our doctor at home said she might need an operation, is that true? Mother: What kind of operation? Meredith: She's, um, well, you know what, I'm not, I'm not the doctor, uh, I'm a doctor, but I'm not Katie's doctor, so I'll go get him for you. Meredith goes to Bailey. Bailey: What? Meredith: Katie's parents have questions. Do you talk to them, or do I ask Burke? Bailey: No, Burke's off the case, Katie belongs to the new attending now, Dr. Shepherd, he's over there. (we can't see Dr. Shepherd) Meredith takes a few steps in that direction. She stops dead. We can see him now, he's talking to another doctor. It's Derek, from this morning. Meredith's eyes widen and she starts to turn to go. He glances her way, does a double take. She turns and leaves. He's still staring. [SCENE_BREAK] (Meredith is walking down the hall and Derek grabs her arm.) Meredith: Hey - (he pulls her into a stairwell, no one's around.) Dr. Shepherd, - Derek: Dr. Shepherd? This morning it was Derek. Now it's Dr. Shepherd. Meredith: Dr. Shepherd, we should pretend it never happened. Derek: What never happened, you sleeping with last night? Or you throwing me out this morning? Because both are fond memories I'd like to hold onto. Meredith: No. There will be no memories. I'm not the girl in the bar anymore, and you're not the guy. This can't exist. You get that, right? Derek: You took advantage of me and now you want to forget about it. Meredith: I did not take - Derek: I was drunk, vulnerable and good-looking and you took advantage. Meredith: (smiling) Okay, I was the one who was drunk, and you are not that good-looking. Derek: Well, maybe not today. Last night, last night I was very good-looking. I had my red shirt on, my good-looking shirt, you took advantage. Meredith: I did not take - Derek: You want to take advantage again? Say Friday night? Meredith: No. You're an attending. And I'm your intern. Stop looking at me like that. Derek: Like what? Meredith: Like you've seen me naked. (Derek smirks) Dr. Shepherd. This is inappropriate. Has that ever occurred to you? (Meredith leaves, Shepherd sighs. Cut to George, about to go into surgery.) George: (muttering) Open identify ligate irrigate close. Open identify ligate irrigate close. Open identify ligate irrigate close. Intern 1: He's going to faint. He's a fainter. Intern 2: Naaah, code brown. Right in his pants. Intern 1: He's all about the flops, he's going to sweat himself unsterile. Intern 3: Ten bucks says he messes up the McBird. Cristina: Twenty says he cries. Intern 2: I'll put twenty on a total meltdown. Meredith: Fifty says he pulls the whole thing off. (Everybody looks at her, silent.) Meredith: That's one of us, down there. The first one of us. Where's your loyalty? (A pause.) Cristina: Seventy-five says he can't even ID the appendix. Izzie: I'll take that action. (others agree) Burke: Okay, O'Malley, let's see what you can do. Meredith: Here it comes. George: Scalpel. Nurse: Scalpel. (George takes it, the interns cheer from the gallery. Burke motions for them to shut up.) Cristina: That Burke, he's trouble. (interns laugh) (George gets ready to cut.) Burke: More pressure. Human flesh is a tough shell, dig in. George: Pick-ups. Nurse: Pick-ups. George: Clamp. Nurse: Clamp. George: Met some bone. I'm there. Intern 1: Damn, he got the peritoneum and he opened him up. Meredith: I told you, he's going to pull it off. George: Scalpel. Nurse: Scalpel. George: Appendix is out (tossing it into a tray, to cheers) Burke: Not bad. George: Thank you. Burke: Now all you have to do is invert the stump into the secum and simultaneously pull up on the purse-strings but be careful not to (rip) break them. (groans) He ripped the secum. Got a bleeder. You're filling with stool, what do you do now? George: Uh...uh... Burke: Think. You start the suction, and you start digging for those purse-strings before she bleeds to death. Belky, give him a clamp. Nurse: BP's dropping. Cristina: He's choking. Meredith: Come on, George. Burke: Today. Pull your balls out of your back pocket, let's go. What are you waiting for, suction? (beeping starts) Nurse: Getting too low folks... Dr Burke... Burke: Get out of the way. Pansy-ass idiot. Get him out of here. Suction. Clamp. Intern (Alex Karev): 007. Other intern: 007, yep, that's a total 007. Izzie: What's 007 mean? Meredith: Licensed to kill. (Cut to Seattle at night. Hour 19. Cut to interns sitting on spare beds along an empty corridor.) George: 007. They're calling me 007, aren't they? Izzie and Meredith: No one's calling you 007. George: I was on the elevator and Murphy whispered 007. Cristina: Oh, how many times do we have go through this, George, five, ten? Give me a number or else I'm going to hit you. George: Murphy whispered 007 and everyone laughed. Izzie: He wasn't talking about you. George: You sure? Meredith: Would we lie to you? George: Yes. Cristina: 007 is a state of mind. George: So says the girl who finished top of her class at Stanford. Pagers beep. Meredith: Oh man. It's 911 for Katie Bryce. I gotta go. (takes off at a run) George: Maybe I should've gone into geriatrics. No one minds when you kill an old person. Cristina: Surgery is hot, it's the Marines, it's the macho, it's hostile, it's hardcore. Geriatrics is for freaks who live with their mothers and never have s*x. George: I've got to get my own place. (Cut to Meredith running to Katie. She goes in, Katie's reading a magazine.) Katie: Took you long enough. Meredith: You're okay? The nurse paged me 911. Katie: I had to go all Exorcist to get her to even pick up the phone. Meredith: Wait. There's nothing wrong with you? Katie: I'm bored. Meredith: You little...I'm not a cruise director. Katie: You don't have to wig out. The pageant's supposed to be on cable, but this crappy hospital doesn't get the channel. If that cow Kylie Wood is gonna walk off with my crown, I have to see it. Can you call someone? Meredith: Okay. This is an actual hospital. There are sick people here. Go to sleep, and stop wasting my time. Katie: But I can't sleep. My head's all full. Meredith: That's called thinking. Go with it. (Cut to Bailey, collapsed on a stretcher in a hallway. Izzie is standing nearby, looking uncertain.) Nurse: What do you need? Izzie: Mr Jones has junkie veins and he really needs antibiotics so I should start a central line. Nurse: So start one. (Pause.) You don't know how. Izzie: I've never done one. Nurse: Well, you know what that means. (looks to Bailey) Izzie: Can't we just...page someone else? Nurse: She's the on-call resident. Izzie: Okay. Okay, I'll just - I'll wake her. (walks over, taps Bailey's shoulder) Dr Bailey, I don't mean to bother you, but - Bailey: Then don't. Izzie: It's Mr. Jones. Bailey: Is he dying? Izzie: No. Bailey: Then stop talking to me. (Izzie turns away, turns back. Bailey gives up on sleep and sits up.) Bailey: What is it? (Cut to Bailey finishing up with the central line.) Bailey: Next time you wake me, he better be so close to dead there's a tag on his toe. (Cut to the city going from night to day. Several shots of Cristina/George/Izzie looking overworked.) Karev (male intern): 4B's got post-op pneumonia. Let's start antibiotics. Nurse: Are you sure that's the right diagnosis? Karev: Well I don't know, I'm only an intern. Here's an idea, why don't you go spend four years in med school and let me know if it's the right diagnosis. She's short of breath, she's got fever, she's post-op. Start the antibiotics. (walks over to Meredith) God I hate nurses. I'm Alex. I'm with Jeremy, you're with the Nazi, right? Meredith: She may not have pneumonia, you know. She could be splinting, or have a PE. Karev: Like I said, I hate nurses. Meredith: What did you just say? Did you just call me a nurse? Karev: Well, if the white cap fits... Meredith's pager beeps and she walks away. Meredith: Damnit, Katie...(not running this time) Karev: She seeing anybody? George: I don't know. Karev: (whistles) She's hot. George: I'm friends with her. I mean, kinda friends, I mean, not, you know, actually friends, not exactly, but we're tight. We hang out. I mean, really only just today - Karev: Dude. George: - but - Karev: Dude. Stop talking. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to Meredith, walking up the stairs to Katie. She's not in a hurry. She sees nurses rushing into the room and starts to run.) Nurse 1 (echoey voice): What took you so long? Nurse 2 (echoey voice): She's having multiple grand mal seizures, now how do you want to proceed? Dr. Grey? Are you listening to me? She's got Diazepam, 2mg Diazepam, I just gave her a second ago, Dr. Grey, you need to tell us what you want to do. Dr Grey! (Meredith is panicking. She picks up the chart and voices stop sounding echoey.) Meredith: Okay, she's full on Prazepam? Nurse 1: She's had 4mg. Meredith: Did you page Dr. Bailey and Dr Shepherd? Nurse 2: The Prazepam's not working. Meredith: Phenobarbital, load her with Phenobarbital. Nurse 2: Pheno's in. Nurse 3: No change. Meredith: You paged Dr. Shepherd? Nurse 3: I just told you. Meredith: Well page him again! Stat. Nurse 2: What do you want to do? (back to echoey voice) Dr. Grey, you need to tell us what you want to do! Beeping. Nurse 2: Heart's stopped! Nurse 1: Code blue, code blue! Code blue, code blue! They pull out the defibrillators. Meredith takes them, her brain's working again. Meredith: Charge pulse of two hundred. Nurse: Charged. Clear. (Meredith defibs) Nurse 2: Still defib. Nothing. Nurse 1: Charging. 19 seconds. Meredith: Charge to 300. Nurse 1: 300. Anything? 27 seconds. Meredith: Charge to 360. (still nothing) Come on, Katie. Nurse 3: 49 seconds. Nurse 2: At 60 seconds you're supposed to admit her - Meredith: Charge again! (nurse doesn't) Charge again. (nurse does, we see Katie's BP register) Anything? Nurse 1: I see sinus rhythm. Nurse 2: Blood pressure's coming up. Nurse 1: All right now. Pressure's returning. Grid's coming back... (Shepherd runs in.) Derek: What the hell happened? Meredith: She had a seizure, and - Derek: A seizure? Meredith: her heart stopped. Derek: You were supposed to be monitoring her. Meredith: I checked on her and she - Derek: I got it. Just - just - go. (Meredith turns away) Someone give me her chart, please? (Cut to Meredith walking towards Bailey.) Bailey: You get a 911, you page me immediately, not in the five minutes it takes you to get to the emergency, immediately, you are on my team and if somebody dies it's my ass, (Meredith's walking away) you hear me, Grey? Cristina: Meredith? (Meredith walks outside into the rain, Cristina follows. Meredith throws up on the grass; Cristina has stopped at the door.) Meredith: If you tell anyone, ever...(re-enters hospital). (More cityscape and sunrise: Hour 24.) Katie's father: (to Derek) You said it was a seizure disorder. Now you're saying it isn't? Derek: I'm saying that I don't know. Mother: Well, what do you think it could be? Derek: I don't know. Father: (frustrated) When will you know? Derek: I don't have an answer for you. For now, Katie is stable - Father: Wait one damn minute. We came here because this hospital is supposed to be the best in Washington. That's my kid in there. My kid. And you have the audacity to stand here and tell me I don't know? Derek: Mr. Bryce, - Father: No, I want someone else. A doctor who knows what they're doing. You get me someone else. Someone better than you. Derek: Mr Bryce, I assure you that I am working hard on Katie's case. Father: No, you're not. If you were, you'd be able to give me some answers. (Cut to Burke, talking to the guy who can't eat any more bacon.) Burke: I put you on a bypass machine, which pumps blood for your heart, fix your ticker, take you off the machine, I'm done. Simple procedure. Woman: So, I shouldn't worry? Burke: I'm very good at what I do. It's still a surgery. There are some risks. I'll see you in the OR this afternoon, Mr. Savage. Mr Savage: You're not going to leave me in there alone with that guy, are you? George: Oh, I'll be outside the OR the whole time. Dr Burke is very good. Don't worry. I'll see you after. Mrs. Savage: He'll be fine, right? George: It's one he's going to sail through. You have nothing to worry about. I promise. Gotta go. (Cut to Cristina and Meredith.) Meredith: What are you doing? Cristina: I'm suturing a banana, with the vain hope that it wakes up my brain. (George laughs.) Cristina: What're you smiling at, 007? (George stops laughing.) Cristina: I'm sorry, I get mean when I'm tired. George: You know what? I don't care. I comforted a family, and I get to hang out in the OR today. All is well. Cristina: Does anybody know why we're here? (lots of interns, packed into one room. Derek enters.) Derek: Well good morning. I'm going to do something pretty rare for a surgeon, I'm going to ask interns for help. I've got this kid, Katie Bryce. Right now, she's a mystery. She doesn't respond to her meds. Labs are clean, scans are pure, but she's having seizures. Grand mal seizures with no visible cause. She's a ticking clock. She's going to die, if I don't make a diagnosis. Which is where you come in. I can't do it alone. I need your extra minds, extra eyes, I need you to play detective, I need you to find out why Katie is having seizures. I know you're tired, you're busy, you've got more work than you could possibly handle. I understand. So, I'm going to give you an incentive. Whoever finds the answer rides with me. Katie needs surgery. You get to do what no interns get to do. Scrub in to assist on an advanced procedure. Dr Bailey's going to hand you Katie's chart. The clock is ticking fast, people. If we're going to save Katie's life, we have to do it soon. (All interns grab copies of her chart. Cut to Meredith and Alex.) Alex: Look, give the antibiotics time to work. Nurse: The antibiotics should've worked by now. Alex: She's old, she's freaking ancient. She's lucky she's still breathing. Now, I got a shot to scrub in downstairs and a patient who wasn't alive during the civil war. Don't page me again. (walks off, Cristina comes over) Cristina: Hey, I want in on Shepherd's surgery. You've been the intern on Katie since the start. You want to work together? We find the answer, we have a fifty-fifty chance of scrubbing in. Meredith: I'll work with you, but I don't want in on the surgery. You can have it. Cristina: Are you kidding me? It's the biggest opportunity any intern will ever get. Meredith: I don't want to spend any more time with Shepherd than I have to. Cristina: What do you have against Shepherd? Meredith: If we find the answer, the surgery's yours. Do you want to work together or not? Cristina: (grinning and shaking her head) Deal. (Cut to library.) Cristina: Well, she doesn't have anoxia, chronic renal failure or acidosis. It's not a tumour because her CT's clean. Are you seriously not going to tell me why you won't work with Shepherd? Meredith: No. What about infection? Cristina: No. There's no white count, she has no ceteal lesions, no fevers, nothing in her spinal tap, just tell me. Meredith: You can't comment, make a face, or react in any way. We had s*x. (Cristina opens her mouth, closes it, and) Cristina: What about an aneurysm? Meredith: No blood on the CT, and no headaches. Cristina: Okay. There's no drug use, uh, no pregnancy, no trauma...was he good? I mean, he looks like he would be, was it any good? Meredith: What are the answers? What if no one comes up with anything? Cristina: You mean if she dies? Meredith: Yeah. Cristina: This is gonna sound really bad, but I really wanted that surgery. Meredith: She's just never going to get the chance to turn into a person. The sum total of her existence will be almost winning Miss Teen whatever. You know what her pageant talent is? Cristina: They have talent? Meredith: Rhythmic gymnastics. (they laugh) Cristina: Oh, come on. Meredith: What is rhythmic gymnastics? I don't know - I can't even say it, I don't know what it is. Cristina: Isn't it like something with a ball, and a (Meredith goes still) ...what? Meredith, what? Meredith: Get up! Come on! (Cut to them running.) Cristina: - the only thing she could possibly need is a - Oh, oh, Dr. Sheppard! Just one moment, um, uh, Katie competes in beauty pageants - Derek: I know that, but we have to save her life anyway. Cristina: Okay, she has no headaches, no neck pain, her CT's clean, there's no medical proof of an aneurysm - Derek: Right. Cristina: - but what if she has an aneurysm anyway? Derek: There are no indicators. Cristina: Ah, but she twisted her ankle, a few weeks ago when she was practising for the pageant - Derek: Look, I appreciate you're trying to help, but - Other doctor in elevator: This is not helping! Meredith: She fell. When she twisted her ankle, she fell. Cristina: It was no big deal, not even a bump on the head, you know she got right back up, iced her ankle and everything was fine, it was a fall so minor her doctor didn't even think to mention it when I was taking her history, but she did fall. Derek: Well, you know the chances that a minor fall could burst an aneurysm, one in a million! Literally. The elevator door is finally allowed to close. Meredith and Cristina sigh and turn away. The elevator dings and Derek steps out. They turn back. Derek: Let's go. Cristina: Where? Derek: To find out if Katie's one in a million. Cut to Cristina, Meredith and Derek looking at a scan. Derek: I'll be damned. Tech operating scan: (indicating dark spots) There it is. Derek: It's minor, but it's there. It's a cerebachnoid haemorrhage. She's bleeding into her brain. Cut to Meredith, Derek and Cristina walking. Derek: She could've gone her entire life without it ever being a problem. One tap in the right spot - Cristina: And explode. Derek: Exactly. Now I have to fix it. You two did great work. Love to stay and kiss your asses, but I gotta tell Katie's parents she's having surgery. Katie Bryce's chart, please. Receptionist: Here you go. Cristina: Oh, and Dr Sheppard, you said that you'd pick someone to scrub in if we helped. Derek: Oh, yes, right. Um, I'm sorry I can't take you both, it's going to be a full house. Meredith, I'll see you in OR. (They stand there for a moment or two. Cristina looks at Meredith, who's flustered.) Derek: Good. Thank you. (leaves) (Cristina looks back at Meredith and walks off, clearly pissed.) Meredith: Cristina... (Cut to George watching bacon-man's surgery. It finishes, Burke leaves.) George: Wow, that was quick. Burke: His heart had too much damage to give him a bypass. I had to let him go. It happens, rarely. But it does happen. The worst part of the game. George: But I told his wi- I told Gloria that he would be fine. I promised her that - Burke: You what? George: They have four little girls - Burke: Who the hell are you to promise anything on - this is my case. Did you hear me promise? The only one that can keep a promise like that is God, and I haven't seen him holding a scalpel lately. You never promise a patient's family a good outcome! George: I - I thought - Burke: You're important enough to make promises to Mrs. Savage, you get to be the one to tell her that she's a widow. (Cut to Izzie and Cristina, sitting on the spare beds in the empty corridor again.) Cristina: Izzie. Izzie: Maybe Meredith couldn't - Cristina: Izzie! Meredith comes in. Meredith: I'll tell him I changed my mind, you can - Cristina: No, no, don't do me any favours. It's fine. Meredith: Cristina, - Cristina: You know what, you did a cutthroat thing, deal with it. Don't come to me for absolution, you want to be a shark, be a shark. Meredith: I'm not - Cristina: Oh yes you are. Only it makes you feel all bad in your warm gooey places. No, screw you. I don't get picked for surgeries because I slept with my boss, and I didn't get into med school because I have a famous mother. You know, some of us have to earn what we get. Meredith leaves. Cut to George going to see Mrs. Savage. George: Gloria...there were complications in the surgery. Tony's heart had a, a lot of damage. They - we tried to take him off bypass, but...there wasn't anything we could've done. Gloria: Uh...what are you talking about? George: He...Tony died. He's dead. Gloria, I'm so sorry. Gloria: (whispered) Thank you. Please...go away. (He does. We hear her crying. Cut to Derek shaving Katie's head while Meredith looks on.) Derek: I promised I'd make her look cool. Apparently being a bald beauty queen is the worst thing that happened in the history of the world. Meredith: Did you choose me for the surgery because I slept with you? Derek: (straight-faced) Yes. (pregnant pause) I'm kidding. Meredith: I'm not going to scrub in for surgery. You should ask Cristina. She really wants it. Derek: You're Katie's doctor. And on your first day, with very little training, you helped save her life. You earned the right to follow her case to the finish. You...you shouldn't let the fact that we had s*x get in the way of you taking your shot. (Cut to George and Meredith sitting outside.) Meredith: I wish I wanted to be a chef. Or a ski instructor. Or a kindergarten teacher. George: You know, I would've been a really good postal worker. I'm dependable. You know, my parents tell everyone they meet that their son's a surgeon. As if it's a big accomplishment. A superhero or something. If they could see me now... Meredith: When I told my mother I wanted to go to medical school, she tried to talk me out of it. Said I didn't have what it takes to be a surgeon. That I'd never make it. So, the way I see it, superhero sounds pretty damn good. George: We're going to survive this, right? (Cut to Dr Webber (head of the hospital) talking to Alex.) Webber: She's still short of breath. Did you get an ABG or a chest film? Alex: Oh, yes sir, I did. Webber: And what did you see? Alex: Oh, well, I had a lot of patients last - Webber: Name the common causes of post-op fever. Alex: Uh...yes, sir. (pulls notebook out of pocket) Webber: From your head. Not from a book. Don't look it up, learn it, it should be in your head. Name the common causes of post-op fever. Alex: Uh...the common causes of post-op... Webber: (loudly) Can anybody name the common causes of post-op fever? (Everybody stops, one girl pulls out her notebook.) Meredith: Wind, water, wound, walking, wonder drugs. The five Ws. Most of the time it's wind, splinting or pneumonia. Pneumonia's easy to assume, especially if you're too busy to do the tests. Webber: (gives Alex a pointed look, then to Meredith) What do you think's wrong with 4B? Meredith: The fourth W, walking. I think she's a prime candidate for a pulmonary ambulus. Webber: How would you diagnose? Meredith: Spiral CT, VQ scan, provide O2, dose with Heparin, and consult for an IVC filter. Webber: (to Alex) Do exactly as she says, then tell your resident that I want you off this case. (to Meredith) I'd know you anywhere, you're the spitting image of your mother. Welcome to the gang. (Cut to Katie's surgery. Meredith is there.) Derek: All right everybody, it's a beautiful night to save lives, let's have some fun. Meredith voiceover: I can't think of any one reason why I want to be a surgeon. But I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit. (Cut to Bailey sleeping and Izzie walking towards her again.) Meredith VO: They make it hard on purpose. There are lives in our hands. (Cut to the surgery.) Meredith VO: There comes a moment when it's more than just a game. And you either take that step forward, or turn around and walk away. (Cristina is seen watching from the gallery. Sheppard waves Meredith over to look through the magnifiers at what's happening.) I could quit. But here's the thing: I love the playing field. (Fade to Meredith sitting outside the OR, dazed. Cristina walks through the door and turns back.) Cristina: It was a good surgery. Meredith: Yeah. (Hour 48. Cristina sits and sighs.) Cristina: We don't have to do that thing where I say something, and then you say something, and then somebody cries, and there's like a moment... Meredith: Yuck. Cristina: Good. You should get some sleep. You look like crap. Meredith: I look better than you. Cristina: It's not possible.(leaves) (Derek comes through the same door, stops at a desk to do some paperwork. Meredith stares at him, still looking dazed.) Meredith: That was amazing. Derek: Mmmm. Meredith: You practice on cadavers, you observe, and you think you know what you're going to feel like standing over that table, but...that was such a high. Derek looks at her properly now and nods. Meredith: I don't know why anybody does drugs. Derek: (nodding slightly, looking tired) Yeah. Meredith: (smiling) Yeah. Derek: (smiling back a bit) I should go do this. Meredith: You should. Derek: (going) I'll see you around. Meredith: See you around. See ya. (Cut to outside the hospital, we see Izzie, George, Cristina and Meredith walking to the parking lot.) Meredith VO: So. I made it through my first shift. We all did. The other interns are all good people, you'd like them. I think. I don't know. (fade to Meredith running up stairs in the rain, under an umbrella) Maybe. I like them. (She enters a building, reception waves her on) Oh, and I changed my mind. (Close-up on an older woman). I'm not going to sell the house. I'm going to keep it. I'll have to get a couple of roommates, but (we see Meredith is talking to her) it's home, you know? Older woman: Are you the doctor? Meredith: No. I'm not your doctor. But I am a doctor. Older woman: What's your name? Meredith: It's me, mom. Meredith. Ellis Grey: All right. (fidgets with her watch) I used to be a doctor, I think. Meredith: (taking her hand) You were a doctor, mom. You were a surgeon. (Slow zoom out and fade to black on the two.)

Plan: A: Meet Meredith Grey; Q: Who is a woman trying to lead a real life while doing a job that makes A: a real life; Q: What is Meredith Grey trying to lead while doing a job that makes having what impossible A: a first year surgical intern; Q: What is Meredith Grey's job? A: Harvard; Q: What is the toughest surgical residency program west of Seattle Grace Hospital? A: students; Q: What were Meredith and her fellow first-year interns yesterday? A: today; Q: When did Meredith Grey become a doctor? A: doctors; Q: What are the young people struggling to become? A: a world; Q: What is filled with intensity, humor, sex and pain? A: the doctors; Q: Who is struggling to remain human? A: the interns; Q: Who discovers that neither medicine nor relationships can be defined in black and white? A: shades; Q: What kind of grey is life? Summary: Meet Meredith Grey, a woman trying to lead a real life while doing a job that makes having a real life impossible. Meredith is a first year surgical intern at Seattle Grace Hospital, the toughest surgical residency program west of Harvard. She and her fellow first-year interns were students yesterday; today they're doctors in a world where on the job training can be a matter of life and death. Meet the young people struggling to become doctors and the doctors struggling to remain human. It's a world filled with intensity, humor, sex and pain, in which the interns discover that neither medicine nor relationships can be defined in black and white -- real life only comes in shades of grey.

"Aliens in a Spaceship" [SCENE_BREAK] TEASER (Interior of car, underground - radio playing) BRENNAN: Oh God. What - What happened? Where am I? (she turns the keys in the ignition -She frantically feels around to figure out where she is. The radio is on. She reaches behind her neck and feels something.) BRENNAN: Ugh. Oh god. (She reaches up and turns on the inside light and exhales. She sees her phone, smashed and lying on the passenger seat.) BRENNAN: (tries to open the car door) Oh, Come on! (She tries to open the door, to no avail. She tries to roll down the window, only to have dirt/rocks fall in the car on her. She quickly rolls up the window. Then turns off the radio. She stops to collect herself, and hears a moaning noise coming from the back seat. She's not alone. She turns around and sees Jack Hodgins, and he appears to be in worse shape then her) BRENNAN: Hodgins. (she climbs in the back seat) Hodgins. Are you all right? Can you talk? (she puts her hand on his leg...only to find to find blood and gashes on them) Your legs. What happened to your legs? HODGINS: (mumbles) Where are we? BRENNAN: We're buried alive. He must have got us. HODGINS: Who? BRENNAN: The Grave Digger. (she looks around the car and sees the dirt covering all the windows.) [SCENE_BREAK] 48 Hours Earlier (Cut to: Crime scene in the woods.) SHERIFF: My superior says to let you look at the...flying saucer. BRENNAN: It's not a flying saucer. SHERIFF: It sure looks like one. Local kids dirt biking. Something shiny poking through dirt. They dig it out, look in the window and see aliens. BRENNAN: Did you look? SHERIFF: Yes, m'am. Then called for backup. BOOTH: Why? SHERIFF: On account of..well, they are aliens. (Booth looks at Brennan, then she heads over to the "spaceship") BRENNAN: All right. (she clears dirt of the window and looks in) You wanna take a look? BOOTH: (he moves behind her and peers over her shoulder into the window) Oh. Are those what I think they are? BRENNAN: Yes. As long as you think they're two adolescent human males. BOOTH: Hmm...How long? BRENNAN: The amount of dehydrated tissue suggest the tank is sealed and intact. Years. BOOTH: Man. Two kids, huh? I liked it better when they were aliens. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to - Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal Lab - Platform) ZACK: The one set of remains shows trauma to the legs, compound fractures and his pelvis is broken in three places. The other is virtually untouched. BRENNAN: Cause of death? ZACK: The amount of blood suggests that at least one of them bled out. Probably the one with the injuries. I've also noted a constellation of identical non metric variants - extra foramina BOOTH: (approaches platform) Does that mean they were twins? BRENNAN: How did you know? BOOTH: (holds up a picture of two young boys) Matthew and Ryan Kent. Kidnapped. October 31, 2001 and no one has seen 'em since. [SCENE_BREAK] (Opening Credits) [SCENE_BREAK] ACT I (Open - Conference Room at the Jeffersonian) BRENNAN: The remains in the beer vat have been positively identified as Matthew and Ryan Kent. PETE SANDERS: Oh god. AUSA KIM KURLAND: Come on , Peter. It's better than never knowing. BRENNAN: Agent Sanders? You were assigned to the Kent kidnapping? SANDERS: Uh, Mr. Sanders. I, uh, retired from the FBI to pursue a career in general contracting - uh, when I'm sober - uh..Kim here was the Assistant United States Attorney attached to the case. KIM: Still attached. The file's still open. The boys were snatched after a drinking party. BRENNAN: Was the ransom paid? SANDERS: As the dually sworn representative of the FBI, I advised Mr. Kent, not to pay the ransom. Unfortunately, the Kent's listened to me and not the K&R guy...and uh, now their sons are dead. BRENNAN: K&R? BOOTH: It's the Kidnap and Ransom experts. KIM: The Kent boys were The Grave Diggers third victims. SANDERS: Third of the six we know of. Uh, all together, four paid the ransom and lived. BRENNAN: ..and the other one that didn't? KIM: Never found him. SANDERS: That's why they call him The Grave Digger. Uh, he takes people and he buries them. You pay the ransom and he tells them how to dig them up. You don't -- and uh -- you never see them again. You won't catch him. BOOTH: All due respect, uh -- Agent Sanders - uh, we have the beer vat and the human remains. KIM: What are two dead bodies gonna tell you that four live victims couldn't? BOOTH: Dr. Brennan. She's pretty good at uh, making dead people tell her things. SANDERS: Look, my advice. Talk to the K&R guy. KIM: Kidnap and ransom expert, Thomas Vega. Former FBI. He literally wrote the book on The Grave Digger. (she takes the book out of her bag and puts it on the table.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to - Conference Room at the Jeffersonian - Booth, Brennan, Thomas Vega & Janine O' Connell) THOMAS VEGA: I became a Kidnap and Ransom specialist after I realized that the bureau's policy on non payment to kidnappers is antiquated and dangerous. BOOTH: You've dealt with The Grave Digger how many times? JANINE O'CONNELL: In total? Five. VEGA: Janine is a journalist. She helped me write the book on The Grave Digger. Next to me, she's the ranking expert on that son of a bitch. BOOTH: Journalist, huh? JANINE: Aw, don't be like that, Agent Booth. The Grave Digger is totally consistent. No one ever sees the victim taken. The ransom demand is made using a digitally altered voice. A time limit is given. There's never a second call. As soon as the ransom is paid to a numbered, untraceable account in Bahrain, the Caribbean, etc. The GPS coordinates are provided, leading to the victim, BRENNAN: None of the surviving victims remembers anything before being taken? JANINE: Nothing. Burn marks on the back of the neck suggest the use of a stun gun or cattle prod. VEGA: And that'll scramble your brains pretty good. Also, when you try to trace whatever container the boys were found in, you'll, well, you'll reach a dead end. He gets everything from landfills or cash auctions. BOOTH: No last chance to pay up? VEGA: Never. JANINE: You know. Most kidnappers are caught because they start negotiating the ransom. The Grave Digger, simply won't play. BOOTH: Really not looking to help you write another book, ya know. Capturing The Grave Digger. VEGA: Agent Booth. I have seen what this guy does to families. Upclose. Ya know what, dislike me as much as you want but I'm still gonna help ya because.. I want this b*st*rd caught. (Vega & Janine leave the room) BRENNAN: (turns to Booth) You were kinda mean to them. BOOTH: Yeah. Thanks. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to - Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal Lab - Platform) BRENNAN: Zack? Did you catalogue this anomaly between C1 and C2 on Matthew. ZACK: Yes. If you increase magnification on the atlanto-axail joint, you'll see calcining on articular process. (Brennan walks over to computer) BRENNAN: Bone burn. ZACK: Yes. Over 300 degrees. BRENNAN: Stun gun. Does the same mark appear on Ryan? ZACK: No. BRENNAN: Okay. Get the FBI to send you photos and medical exam results of The Grave Diggers victims. See if he uses the same stun gun every time. (Zack exits. Hodgins enters) HODGINS: Aluminum. BRENNAN: Aluminum? HODGINS: The Brits say "Al -yu - mini - um" but it sounds, well, British. Maganese alloy. Strained-hardened and stabilized. Traces on both sets of clothing. BRENNAN: From the vat? HODGINS: No. The inside of the vat is pure copper. Both boys clothing was stained with a sooty residue made up of lead and carbon, benzene and adlehydes. BRENNAN: Engine exhaust. HODGINS: Yeah. Particulates from lots of engines. Both gasoline and diesel. BRENNAN: Parking lot? HODGINS: Underground. Probably. That's where the Digger grabs his victims? BRENNAN: Compare your findings with the results found on the clothing of the surviving victims. See if they share anything in common. And measure oxygen volume in the vat. Find out how long the twins survived. HODGINS: I'll get right on it. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to - Conference Room at the Jeffersonian - Booth, Brennan, James Kent, Thomas Vega & Kim Kurland) KIM: Mr. Kent, I'd like to start by expressing the Justice Department's sincere condolences for the death of your sons, Matthew and Ryan. JAMES KENT: If I'd ignored the Justice Department and listened to Mr. Vega, here - paid the 2 million - my boys would still be alive today. BOOTH: Sir, I understand your feelings towards the FBI... KENT: I doubt that. VEGA: Jim, Agent Booth here is investigating your sons' murder. You know my problem with the FBI's approach to kidnapping, but when it comes to finding killers, you want these people on your side. KENT: Ryan and Mattie were spoiled. I know. They uh, partied, they chased girls they um - (a chime sounds - cut to: Brennan's cell phone: There is a text message on Brennan's cell phone from Hodgins - "Victims did not have 24 hours of air. 12 hours max. Hodgins." Brennan shows the message to Booth) they got expelled from school but they weren't bad kids. God, there's no way that they deserved suffocation. Is it - painful? BRENNAN: Like falling asleep. Mr. Kent, The Grave Digger lied to you and the FBI. VEGA: That's unlikely. He doesn't play games. BRENNAN: Mr. Kent, is there any way you could have put together the ransom in 12 hours? KENT: No way in the world. VEGA: Which is exactly why The Grave Digger provided Mr. Kent with 24 hours. BOOTH: His sons only had enough air for 12 hours. KENT: Oh, my god... BOOTH: Even if you had ignored the FBI and listened to Mr. Vega, you still wouldn't have been able to save your sons. VEGA: You're backstopping for the bureau.. BRENNAN: There were two of them in that vat. They used up their oxygen twice as fast. The Grave Digger miscalculated. VEGA: No, he doesn't do that. BRENNAN: Then it was never his intention that these boys survive. BOOTH: He just didn't care, Mr. Kent. KENT: So my decision to listen to the FBI - to not pay the ransom... BRENNAN: If you'd paid the ransom, your sons would still have been dead by the time you got to them. BOOTH: There is nothing you could have done, Mr. Kent. You are in no way responsible for the death of your sons. [SCENE_BREAK] ACT II (Cut to: Booth and Brennan in Booth's Car - Driving) BRENNAN: Had it occurred to you that God, is a lot like The Grave Digger? BOOTH: Wha...What? BRENNAN: He lays down the rules. Not way to question him or negotiate. Then it's almost as though he doesn't care how it works out. Either you do as he says - make some sacrifices and they're delivered or you don't and you end up in hell. BOOTH: You know what? I'd appreciate it if you didn't say things like that because I really don't want to get struck by lightning. BRENNAN: Do you go to church every Sunday? BOOTH: Yes, I do. BRENNEN: Can I come with you? BOOTH: No. You can't. BRENNAN: Why? It might help me to understand. BOOTH: I am not going to help you disrespect God in His own house. Okay, if you want to do some kind of , ya know, anthropological study - turn on the religious channel. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to - Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal Lab - The containers used to hold the previous victims of The Grave Digger are lined up - side by side) KIM: Each of these contained one of The Grave Diggers victims. BOOTH: Cozy. KIM: We also provided your people with the clothes each victim was wearing. HODGINS: Regarding the clothing, every one of them shows traces of aluminum and sooty residue. BRENNAN: We know each victim was taken from an underground garage, beyond the reach of security cameras. KIM: They typical kidnap for ransom profile was middle aged, in a job that's beneath him.... BOOTH: Smart guy who's an underachiever and someone who enjoys control over somebody else's life. There's just one problem... KIM: What's that? BOOTH: See, there's nothing typical about this guy. Don't expect him to fit the profile. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to - Jeffersonian - Angelator Room) ANGELA: Okay. The dimensions of the vat - six feet wide by eight feet tall - make it impossible for Mattthew Kent to have fractured his brother's pelvis. BOOTH: Even if Matthew knocked Ryan down and - you know - stomped on him? BRENNAN: Cam and I agree. The fracture was a result of one, hard blow. (They recreate the scenario thru the Angelator) A break like that would require a lot more force then Matthew could have generated. BOOTH: Alright, so you're saying the Ryan was injured before he went into that vat... BRENNAN: Yes. But the amount of blood on the floor, can't be explained by his injuries alone. (Brennan can see that Booth has an idea) What? BOOTH: It was a mistake. ANGELA: What was? BOOTH: Look. He intended to take one boy but he ended up with two. BRENNAN: Ah. That's why they died 12 hours ahead of schedule BOOTH: If he intended to take two boys, he would have put them in a container twice as big. Alright, The Grave Digger, he messed up. He snuck up on Matthew - knocked him unconscious, whatever and uh, Ryan was there - he shows up - and he fought the guy. BRENNAN: No, Booth. Not fight. ANGELA: The leg damage. The fractured pelvis.. BRENNAN: These injuries are classic human vs. car. BOOTH: Ryan interrupts the kidnapping of his brother... BRENNAN: ..and The Grave Digger runs him down. BOOTH: It was a mistake. The Grave Digger is not God, Bones, because God does not make mistakes. ANGELA: Hmm. I don't know. Putting testicles on the outside - didn't seem like such a good idea. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to - Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal - Platform) ZACK: Commercial stun gun. 625,000 volts - still not enough. ANGELA: Well, it sounds like a lot of volts. ZACK: Actually, it's the amperage that does the real damage. But still, I've checked every commercial stun gun I can find and none of them generate the right amount of power to make those distinctive marks on the bone. ANGELA: Well, what about a cattle prod? ZACK: Stun guns generate a lot more power than cattle prods. (Hodgins enters) HODGINS: You haven't figured out the stun gun, then I am this weeks "King of the Lab", cause I found something huge. ANGELA: You compete - to be "King of the Lab"? HODGINS: No....Hey Angela. I, I didn't know - that you were - this sucks. I'm gonna go, catch Brennan then bolt for the night. ANGELA: She just left. (Hodgins turns to leave) ANGELA: Hey. (Hodgins turns back to face her) Could you stop being so weird? Please? It's making me very uncomfortable. (Hodgins leaves) ZACK: You should give him a chance. ANGELA: Excuse me? ZACK: I apologize. I didn't say anything. ANGELA: mmhmm. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to - Jeffersonian -Underground Garage) (Brennan is walking to her car and then surprised and grabbed from behind. Hodgins sees what has happened and goes running towards her) HODGINS : Dr. Brennan. Dr. Brennan? (As he gets closer to her body, he stops - there's a car coming right at him - he's a deer in headlights) [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to - Royal Diner - Interior - Booth and Cam) CAM: What do you say we go to New York for the weekend? BOOTH: Yeah, I don't know.. CAM: Come on! We're two adults with no obligations. (Booth's phone rings) Let it go to voice mail. We're not cheating. We're not hurting anybody, Seeley. BOOTH: Then why are we keeping our relationship such a secret, Camille? CAM: Because we work together and we're professionals and it's nobody's business. That's all. So come to New York. We'll go to a musical BOOTH: (laughs) Talking and singing and talking and dancing and more singing (pulls out his phone to check his voicemail) Ya know, if you want to stop what we're doing - just say so. CAM: You can fantasize about pulling out your gun and shooting everyone on stage. You know you like that.(Booth puts his phone to his ear to check his message - As Cam continues to talk you can tell something's wrong) Seriously, we'll do something you like. Like, Climbing the outside of the Empire State building or swimming the East River...or..(she sees panic in Booth's eyes) What? What happened? (Booth puts turns the speaker phone on and plays back the voice mail. It's from The Grave Digger) THE GRAVE DIGGER (voice): Temperance Brennan and Jack Hodgins have been buried alive.Wire transfer $8 million to the following Grand Cayman account or they will suffocate to death. [SCENE_BREAK] ACT III (Cut to -Department of Justice - Conference Room - Booth is playing the message back for Thomas Vega, Janine O' Connell & Kim Kurland ) THE GRAVE DIGGER (voice): Upon receipt of the wire transfer, I will provide you Brennan and Hodgins GPS Coordinates. This will be my last communication. VEGA: It will be his last communication too. He's never varied. KIM: You learn from the Kent boys. He's got two of them, he cut the deadline in half. VEGA: Why is The Grave Digger demanding so much money? It's doesn't make any sense. JANINE: Well, he's always been reasonable at knowing how much people can raise within the time limit. VEGA: Has - uh - Dr. Brennan made that much money from her books? BOOTH: It's Hodgins. He's the soul heir to this thing called The Cantilever Group VEGA: What's that? JANINE: Just the third largest privately owned corporation in the country... BOOTH: Make sense now, Tom? [SCENE_BREAK] (Interior of car, underground) BRENNAN: I was on my way to karate class, so we have lots of bottled water. HODGINS: What happened? Where are we? BRENNAN: Last thing I remember is being at the lab. HODGINS: I'm really confused, what happened to my legs? (he looks at Brennan) Where are we? BRENNAN: Underground. Buried. I have a burn (she pulls her hair back revealing 2 red marks - from what appears to be a stun gun.) HODGINS: Zack was trying to figure out what kind of stun gun... BRENNAN: It has to be "The Grave Digger". I think he ran you down with his car, and then pumped you full of drugs to ruin your short term memory - same as Ryan Kent. HODGINS: (obviously getting more worried) How long have we been down here? BRENNAN: Um. (she looks at her watch) It would be - 2 hours - I think? HODGINS: Okay, So this vehicle is 6...60 - 60 cubic feet of air, uh, it's just 20 percent oxygen - two people - my brain is not working.. BRENNAN: The Grave Digger is very consistent. If we started with 12 hours of air, we'll be unconscious in 10. After that if - if no one pays the ransom... HODGINS: We're dead. (Brennan nods) [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to - Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal - Platform) (Countdown has begun: 10:43:04) CAM: How are we gonna get our hands on $8 Million? ZACK: Hodgins is rich. CAM: He is? ZACK: "Rich squared to the power of ten times four" is how he describes it. ANGELA: (to Booth) You're gonna pay the ransom, right? BOOTH: Yes. FBI standard ops, they won't work. Grave Digger operates outside statistics. CAM: They'll fire you. BOOTH: Ah, that's cool. One less reason to wear a suit. CAM: How did The Grave Digger catch Brennan and Hodgins together? BOOTH: Bones was on her way to Karate. ANGELA: And Hodgins said he found something huge.. ZACK: ..and he tried to catch Dr. Brennan. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to - Jeffersonian -Underground Garage) (The squints, Cam & Booth go to investigate the garage and find a blood stain) CAM: (over the blood stain) Here! ANGELA: Oh my god. Oooh, that's blood, isn't it? BOOTH: It'll turn out to be Hodgins. ZACK: Dr. Brennan doesn't like it when we jump to conclusions. CAM: I'm sure she'll appreciate - we're on a deadline. BOOTH: Look. Hodgins interrupted the kidnapping, just like Ryan and Matthew - The Grave Digger must have run him over. ANGELA: God, what are we gonna do? BOOTH: We'll, it's a crime scene, alright. They'll look for tire tracks. They'll check the security cameras..(points to Zack) I need you to be Dr. Brennan. ZACK: I don't know what that means. CAM: It means, keep working the case. BOOTH: Alright, I need to know why Hodgins was chasing after Bones. CAM: I'll look at his notes. ANGELA: Well, what about me? BOOTH: Call Bone's brother, Russ, and tell him what's going on. I'm gonna go talk to the chairman of The Cantilever Group. (Booths turns to leave the garage and Cam picks up her phone and dials) [SCENE_BREAK] (Interior of car, underground) BRENNAN: We have water, towels, my mini kit, ibuprofen, two cell phones no batteries, a digital camera with a back up battery and uh, a handful of pens. HODGINS: That one's a laser pointer... BRENNAN: And uh, a copy of my novel. HODGINS: Hey. We can read it to each other if we get bored. BRENNAN: (pulls perfume out of a pouch) Deep Rhapsody? HODGINS: Careful. That's 3 grand a quarter ouce. (Hodgins makes a face of pain) BRENNAN: Yeah. I'd make that face too, if I spent $3,000 on perfume. HODGINS: Oh man. Something - something - my leg. BRENNAN: (opens up the ibuprofen) Here. Here. (opens up a bottle of water) I'm worried you have compartment syndrome (she hands Hodgins the water bottle and the pills) HODGINS: Is that terminal? I mean within the next few hours? BRENNAN: No. HODGINS: But... BRENNAN: It's gonna get painful. HODGINS: More painful than now? BRENNAN: Yeah. "Slip into shock and die" painful. HODGINS: Well, there's nothing we can do about that. BRENNAN: Actually, there is. HODGINS: Oh, I'm not gonna like this, am I. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to - Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal Lab) (Time remaining on the clock: 08:22:14) CAM: What are you doing? ZACK: The Grave Digger modified a commercial stun gun to knock out his victims. I've figured out the voltage and amperage, but not how he modified it to boost the current (he zaps a piece of meat with a stun gun) - which will not help us find Dr. Brennan and Hodgins. I did figure out how Ryan Kent died. CAM: Let's hear it. ZACK: He killed himself. He punctured his own carotid artery, which explains the amount of blood we found in the vat. He used a pen. There's a nick on the inferior angle of the mandible. I don't know why he did it, I don't really do "Why", I just do "How". CAM: He did it to give his brother more air - so his twin would survive. That's why we found them holding each other. ZACK: How does that help? CAM: When we tell Mr. Kent that one of his son's gave his own life in an effort to save his brother, it'll mean something, Zack. Just keep searching, Okay. (Interior of car, underground) (Hodgins tears a page out of Brennan's Book - "Bred in the Bone" - he writes something, folds it up and sticks it in his jacket pocket.) HODGINS: Okay. I'm ready. BRENNAN: Was that a note to Angela? HODGINS: Yes. Just in case - That whatever you're gonna do to me sends me into shock - I might die. Upside? Me not breathing, doubles your survival time. BRENNAN: I'm not interested in surviving that way. (she touches his leg) What I'm going to do is make a long incision in the fascia to release the pressure inside. HODGINS: And..how long is a long incision? Wait, ya know what? Don't tell me. BRENNAN: It's best if I do it very fast and without empathy. (she hands him a gag for his mouth - her black belt) Here. Hang on to something and don't fight passing out (she hold the knife next to his leg, ready to make the incision - Hodgins places the gag in his mouth and holds on to the emergency handles in the back of the car) You ready? (He nods and she prepares to cut, but finds a piece of something stuck in his leg) Wait... HODGINS: What is that? BRENNAN: Evidence of what happened to you. Let's - let's worry about it later. HODGINS: Here - just (he hands her her book) put it in the pages of your book. I'll take a look at it later. (he puts the gag back in his mouth then mumbles something) BRENNAN: It's best if you don't talk right now. HODGINS: (he spits the gag out) I'm nuts about Angela. Over the moon. Stupid in love with her. That's why I bought her that - that crazy, expensive perfume. Man give you a bottle of perfume like that, it says - it says "I Love You". There. I said it out loud. (he puts the gag back in his mouth and gets back into position. He's ready. As Brennan makes the incision, he screams.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to - Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal Lab) (Time remaining on the clock: 05:09:34) CAM: Did you find Russ? ANGELA: He's on a fishing trip with friends in the White Mountains. No phone, no cell service. You? CAM: Hodgins seems to write everything in some kind of code. I'm gonna have to get Zack over here to break it. ANGELA: It says that the traces of aluminum found on the clothing were almost certainly from the kidnapper's vehicle. Like a box in the back of a trunk or a van. CAM: You can read that? ANGELA: Yeah, Hodgins sends me a lot of notes. Why bother? With all of this? We don't need evidence, we need millions of dollars. (Angela turns and walks away from Cam) [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to - Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal Lab - Catwalk) BOOTH: I can't get the ransom together -- not in the time. All right, The Cantilever Group has got this policy - no proof of life from the kidnapper, no ransom. CAM: Not ever for the boss? BOOTH: It's his rule. It's no exceptions. I'd say we need more time, but The Grave Digger doesn't give us that - or proof of life. CAM: Booth, I don't think it's a coincidence that he took Brennan when he did. BOOTH: Yeah, I was kinda thinking the same thing. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Interior of car, underground - car honks - Brennan appears to be hotwiring something) (Hodgins wakes up, startled) BRENNAN: Thank god I didn't kill you. HODGINS: How long was I unconscious? BRENNAN: For a while. How's your leg? HODGINS: Better. Lots better. What are you doing? BRENNAN: Hotwiring the phone to the horn so we can send a message. HODGINS: From underground? BRENNAN: We get radio reception. HODGINS: Direct current 12 volt will burn out the circuits in a 4.2 volt cell phone in a microsecond. Better jury-rig a resistor. BRENNAN: Smart. HODGINS: Might work long enough to send a single burst transmission. BRENNAN: Very short text message. Booth can trace it to a cell phone relay tower. HODGINS: What message should we send? Goodbye? Nice to know ya? BRENNAN: What are we surrounded by? HODGINS: Pain. Despair - and a subsoil accumulation of agglutinate aridosols BRENNAN: Dirt. HODGINS: I don't like the term "dirt". BRENNAN: Alright (she picks up a handful of dirt from inside the car) Tell me something I don't know. (she puts it in his hand) HODGINS: (examines the dirt) Ash. Hints of nitrogen and sulfur (he spits on it) BRENNAN: So where are we? HODGINS: We're in Bituminous Coal country. Basically, Virginia. BRENNAN: We need more than that. HODGINS: The laser - and we need Benzophenone. BRENNAN: Benzophenone. Some soaps and plastic packaging, sunscreen - we don't have any sunscreen. Angela's perfume. HODGINS: Three. Grand. that cost. BRENNAN: Hodgins, I will split the cost when we get out of here. HODGINS: There's something you don't know about me. I'm rich. BRENNAN: Me too. HODGINS: No. No. You're - well off. My family owns The Cantilever Group and there's not many of us left alive. One to be exact. Me. BRENNAN: Okay. I won't split it with you. (she dumps the perfume into the dirt - Hodgins mixes it around with his finger.) It smells nice. HODGINS: I need the camera.(she picks up the camera and hands it to him. He then uses it to examine the dirt more closely) I know where we are. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Booth's Office) VEGA: There's not negotiating with The Grave Digger. BOOTH: You've been through this what - ah - five times with this guy.. VEGA: Exactly. So I know him, and he does not negotiate. BOOTH: Oh, what? What - no - chat room action with him? VEGA: Are you nuts? I hate the son of a bitch. BOOTH: Why? He's made you rich. VEGA: You know what? You just need to deal with the facts. That if you can't put the ransom together in the time he gave you, your partner is dead. (Booth grabs Vega and throws him down on the table) BOOTH: Here's the deal, all right. You have a relationship with this guy, what they call symbiotic - you benefit from each other - hmm. So know this. That deadline comes around, and my partner is still underground - I will end you. You understand? Yeah? (he picks him off off the table) Three hours to live. (He throws Vega out of his office) Better hurry. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Interior of car, underground) (Hodgins is examining the thing Brennan found in his leg) HODGINS: This thing you found in my leg is anodized plastic film and coated metallic tape with dried out adhesive. I think it's a bumper sticker. BRENNAN: You mean like "If you can read this, you're too close."? HODGINS: No. Like a prepaid toll road pass. (he pauses) Someone ran me down with a car. BRENNAN: We knew that already. HODGINS: Yeah, but now we've proved it, and I find that I'm really annoyed. BRENNAN: 4 to 6 seconds to enter a message and hit speed dial. HODGINS: I've figured out a text message using 8 key strikes. BRENNAN: How's your text messaging? HODGINS: Thumbs like lightning. I can do it. BRENNAN: Okay. (she hands him the phone) You ready? HODGINS: Yeah. (she presses on the horn and Hodgins enters the message, then the phone short circuits) Oh! BRENNAN: Oh! Did it go? HODGINS: I think it went... BRENNAN: Me too. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Booth's Office) (Booth is standing behind his chair, thinking, when he receives a message on his phone) [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal Lab - Platform) (On a computer screen, there are the numbers 6 7 16 M1.4 displayed) BOOTH: Does it mean anything to anybody? CAM: They're getting low on oxygen. ZACK: Hypoxia leads to mental confusion. BOOTH: It's Bones. It means something. ANGELA: Did you try just dialing the number? BOOTH: I tried all the dumb guy, normal stuff. Okay, that's why I'm here talking to the Brain Trust. All right. Think! Eggheads. Work it! CAM: Booth. They're not cops! BOOTH: We're running out of time. ZACK: Minor correction. Dr. Brennan and Hodgins run out of air in....4 seconds (the clock counts down to 0) We are out of time. [SCENE_BREAK] ACT IV (Interior of car, underground) (Brennan has cut through the back seat into the trunk and punctures a tire to get more air for them. They lean up against the seat and breathe it in.) HODGINS: How much extra time? BRENNAN: A little. There are 4 extra tires, but we can't get to them. Is there anything else? HODGINS: If the ransom was paid, we'd be out by now. Why prolong the inevitable? BRENNAN: Booth will find us. HODGINS: You have a lot of Faith in Booth. BRENNAN: No. Faith is an irrational belief in something that is logically impossible. Overtime, I've seen what Booth can do. It's not Faith. HODGINS: No offense - and I'm not just saying this because you filleted me with a knife - We are out of air. We don't know if our message got out, much less if anyone understood it and we are buried underground. What you have is Faith, baby. Sorry. The baby thing is a reflex. BRENNAN: We shouldn't talk right now - to conserve air. HODGINS: I need the camera batteries and the preservative powder from your kit. BRENNAN: Soda ash and lithium? You're going to make a carbon dioxide scrubber? HODGINS: If you can perform surgery out of thin air, then I can pull a little thin air out of thin air. (they laugh - knowing that at least they'll be able to extend their time by a bit more) [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal Lab - Platform) CAM: Okay. Zack figured out what stun gun The Grave Digger uses and how it's modified. Thanks to Angela, we know that The Grave Digger has a customized aluminum casing in the back of his vehicle... BOOTH: I got about a hundred agents working that angle. What does this mean, right here (he taps on the computer monitor forcefully) What does that mean? ZACK: You're forgetting something. Brennan and Hodgins are out of air. BOOTH: Great. You wanna give up, huh? This is Bones we're talking about and Hodgins. You really think they didn't find a way to extend their air supply! Hell, found away to send us a message to ask us for help (he hits the monitor again) and you want to give up because of math. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Interior of car, underground) (Hodgins is scraping out the lithium from inside the battery into an ashtray) HODGINS: Soda ash. Lithium reacts high concentrations of carbon dioxide. (pours water in) Produces oxygen. (they see it start to foam and laugh out or relief) BRENNAN: (she moves to the front seat) That gives us just long enough. HODGINS: Long enough for what? BRENNAN: My next idea, which will kill us. Airbags. HODGINS: They aren't actually bags of air.. BRENNAN: I'm not looking to extend our survival underground. I'm looking to blow our way out of here. HODGINS: Using the explosives from the air bags? (she looks back and nods) That could definitely kill us. BRENNAN: So will doing nothing. (she goes to work on the airbags) HODGINS: (hands her a page from her book) Anyone you wanna say goodbye to? (Brennan takes it and begins to write) [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Jeffersonian - Medico-Legal Lab - Platform) ZACK: It's not a numerical alphabetical code or an equation. ANGELA: It's not GPS coordinates or indications of topography. BOOTH: Great. Then what is it? CAM: Can I make a suggestion? See, this is exactly why I was sent here. You guys are brilliant, but you won't make intuitive leaps. ZACK: You mean 'jump to conclusions" CAM: That's exactly what I mean. This is a message from one of them to one of us. Specific. Focused. Who was it meant to get to? BOOTH: Easy. Brennan's cell to mine, right? The message was for me. We have an understanding, we work together. ANGELA: We all work together. She's my best friend. And Hodgins - Hodgins - CAM: She's right. We should assume the message is from Hodgins not from Brennan. BOOTH: Why? CAM: Because they're buried alive... ANGELA: And Hodgins is all about dirt. BOOTH: Okay. Great. The message is about dirt, but who's it to? ZACK: Angela. Hodgins is all about dirt and Angela. ANGELA: But it's numbers, Zack. It's for you. Hodgins would have written me a line of poetry or something. (Vega & Janine O' Connell arrive outside the platform) VEGA: Agent Booth. Janine used all her contacts to get me on all the local news shows. Now, I explained that we needed more time. I asked him to call. I'm sorry, but he's completely consistent. ZACK: 6, 7, 16. Carbon, Nitrogen and Sulfur on the periodic table of elements. They are buried in coal rich soil. (he pulls up a map) BOOTH: Ya gotta narrow it down, Zack. ANGELA: Keep going, Zack. ZACK: Uh - mineral components of coal are all the same. It's the organic components that provide a unique fingerprint. (he starts to zone in on Brennan & Hodgins location) They are called, mascerals. They fluoresce at different levels. A reflectance of 1.4 is quite rare - suggesting a high concentration of inertinite. BOOTH: Zack, tell me what that means. ANGELA: It means he knows where they are. BOOTH: Zack... ZACK: (he pin points a spot on the map) I know where they are. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Interior of car, underground) (Brennan has jumper cable set up across the dashboard of the car) HODGINS: Can this possibly work? BRENNAN: I'm not really an explosives expert...but the dash might shape the charge enough to blow out the windshield. If we're less than 4 feet beneath the surface, this charge could blow us to freedom. HODGINS: And if we're buried more than 4 feet deep? BRENNAN: Then the concussion will turn our brains into jelly. HODGINS: Well, then we can run for Congress, so it's a win-win. BRENNAN: We should get as far away from the explosion as possible. HODGINS: I already am. (he extends his hand) Care to join me. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: What appears to be a quarry - The group arrives (with extra help from the FBI) and stand on the edge of a hill, looking over the area below in hopes that they'll see something that will lead them to Brennan and Hodgins) BOOTH: Come on , people. They gotta be here. Just look for anything - tire tracks, recent digging, mounds, depressions, anything. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Interior of car, underground) BRENNAN: Ready? HODGINS: Yeah. Dr. Brennan. It's been a privilege. (He extends his hand to her, but instead she hugs him and holds him tightly. You can see the fear in both of them.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Booth looking out over the quarry.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Interior of car, underground) (Hodgins prepares to connect the two wires that will cause the airbags to explode..he slowly put them together...) [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Booth looking out over the quarry. He spots a puff of dust shooting through the ground; the explosion from the airbags. He bolts over, starts digging. He digs through the dirt and finds a hand. Brennan's hand. He pulls her out - as he does that, everyone else arrives to help dig out Hodgins. BRENNAN: Get. Hodgins... (They all furiously dig and eventually, find Hodgins.) ANGELA: Jack. Come 'on (Hodgins coughs - then reaches up and touches Zack's head. Angela wipes the dirt off Hodgins's face, then leans down and kisses him. Everyone is alive and well. Angela, Zack and Hodgins are together, and Booth joins Brennan and they smile at one another.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Jeffersonian - Hodgins is sitting at a table looking through mircoscope - Angela enters) ANGELA: I went to visit you at the hospital. I brought you this (hold up a teddy bear with a red bow) HODGINS: They..they let me go home. ANGELA: No, they didn't. You left without being discharged. You stole crutches - which I had to pay for. HODGINS: They packed me - pumped me full of antibiotics - stitched me up and gave me painkillers, so I'm..I'm good to go. ANGELA: Could you please look at me? (he turns to face her) You were buried alive. You were operated on without an anesthetic. You were pumped full of drugs. You really should be lying down. HODGINS: (his voice breaking) He's out there, Angela. He buries people alive. I have to catch him. If I Can figure out the exact alloy of aluminum, then maybe I could - maybe we could. Plus the bit of -of - bumper sticker that Brennan found in my leg... ANGELA: We're gonna catch him, okay. I promise you. We're gonna start tomorrow. All of us, together. HODGINS: I can't sleep, Angela. ANGELA: I thought that they gave you something for that? HODGINS: No. I mean. I'm afraid. That when I close my eyes, when I open them, I'm gonna be back in that car. Buried. Running out of air. ANGELA: Okay. Then you should come home with me. HODGINS: What? ANGELA: When you open your eyes, I'll be there. HODGINS: Yeah? ANGELA: Yeah. HODGINS: Okay. You know I'm good for that crutch money. ( they laugh) [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Church - Interior - Booth and Brennan are sitting in the first pew - Booth is praying) BRENNAN: What did you ask for? BOOTH: That's between me and a certain Saint. Although, I did ask for a little help finding The Grave Digger. BRENNAN: Good move. (she sniffs the air) What's that smell? BOOTH: The candles. And I said Thanks. You should try it sometime. BRENNAN: If I were going to pray, I would have done it just before we set off the explosion. BOOTH: And you didn't? BRENNAN: No. See, if there was a God - which there isn't- BOOTH: Shhhh. (whispers) Do you see where we are? BRENNAN: And if I were someone who believed he had a plan... BOOTH: ..which I do... BRENNAN: Then I'd be tempted to think He wanted me to go through something like I went through because it might make me more open to the whole....concept. BOOTH: Mhmm. It obviously hasn't. BRENNAN: I'm okay with you thanking God for saving me and Hodgins. BOOTH: That's not what I thanked Him for. I thanked Him for saving...all of us. It was all of us. Every. Single. One. You take one of us away, and you and Hodgins are in that hole forever. And I'm thankful for that. BRENNAN: (voice breaking a bit) I knew you wouldn't give up. BOOTH: I knew you wouldn't give up. End.

Plan: A: The team; Q: Who investigates the murder of two kidnapped teenage twin boys? A: a spaceship-like capsule; Q: What were the twin boys placed in? A: Hodgins; Q: Along with Brennan, who was buried alive by the Grave Digger? A: the "Grave Digger; Q: Who did Brennan and Hodgins find themselves victims of? A: Booth; Q: Who searches for the twins as they run out of oxygen? A: oxygen; Q: What did Brennan and Hodgins run out of underground? A: no conclusion; Q: What was the conclusion of the case as broadcast? A: The Hero in the Hold; Q: What episode of American Idol solved the case of the kidnapped twin A: The Fox Network website; Q: Who initially displayed a summary for the episode? A: the female reporter; Q: Who was the Grave Digger originally identified as? A: a book; Q: What did the female reporter coauthor about Grave Digger? A: The summary; Q: What was later revised to reflect the episode as broadcast? A: character reunion moments; Q: What was the scene that was originally shown in the summary replaced with? Summary: The team investigate the murder of two kidnapped teenage twin boys. The boys were placed in a spaceship-like capsule and buried alive underground. Soon, Brennan and Hodgins find themselves victims of the "Grave Digger", and Booth frantically searches for them as they slowly run out of oxygen underground. The case as broadcast has no conclusion (it was solved in the season 4 episode "The Hero in the Hold"). The Fox Network website initially displayed a summary for the episode which included an original ending where the Grave Digger was identified as the female reporter that coauthored a book about Grave Digger. [11] The summary was later revised to reflect the episode as broadcast in which the Grave Digger is unidentified and the scene replaced by character reunion moments. [12]

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Previously on Veronica Mars... Veronica approaches the Take Back the Night rally in 301 "Welcome Wagon," where Nancy is addressing the crowd. NANCY: How many women like me have to be raped, have to end up like this, their heads shaved before this administration listens to our demands. Shut down the fraternity houses. The crowd cheers. Cut to later in the same episode. Veronica comes across Mac, sitting on the floor outside her and Parker's room. MAC: Parker's in there with some guy. Cut to Veronica who, having snuck into the room, takes tickets from the bulletin board. VERONICA: Don't mind me. The next day, Veronica explains her failure to stop Parker's rape in 302 "My Big Fat Greek Rush Week." VERONICA: I thought it was just s*x. It didn't occur to me that it was against your will. PARKER: Thanks, Veronica. Thanks for thinking I'm the slut of the world. End previously. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - NIGHT. Keith is preparing dinner. Veronica, extremely uncomfortable, stands and watches him as she nibbles on a piece of food. VERONICA: This is a bad idea. KEITH: No, it's not. VERONICA: You only thinks it's not 'cause you came up with it. KEITH: Ergo, how could it be bad? Math, sweetie. Me plus idea equals good. Veronica finishes her snack just as there's a knock at the door. Keith stops chopping and looks over at Veronica, expectantly. Veronica takes a deep breath and goes to the door. Keith follows her with his eyes, amused. Veronica opens the door. It's Logan. She doesn't say anything. LOGAN: You were expecting Sidney Poitier? VERONICA: Nn-mm. Veronica steps outside the apartment and closes the door. EXT - MARS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. Logan, also amused, faces her as she wags a finger at him. VERONICA: No jokes. No innuendoes, no quips. Don't even think of alluding to having seen me naked or [with increasing desperation] having touched any part of my body that does not have fingers. LOGAN: Can I mention that my eyes adored you? Veronica huffs impatiently. LOGAN: I got it. No calling you bobcat, no talk of milky thighs. Veronica looks up to the heavens and groans. VERONICA: Go home. LOGAN: Veronica? I won't say anything bad. Veronica sighs, but holds out her hand in resignation. Logan takes it. They grin at each. Veronica opens the door and leads him into the apartment. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - NIGHT. Music: unidentified. A little time has passed and the meal is in progress. All three are sitting at the small counter, with Keith and Logan facing each other, and Veronica at the end, between them. KEITH: So, how's school going, Logan? LOGAN: Well, I'm actually not hating it. My grades aren't exactly- Veronica interrupts quickly. VERONICA: Oh, Hearst took him in late because of his high test scores. KEITH: Oh, what classes are you taking? VERONICA: Where is this going? KEITH: My end game is to find out what classes Logan is taking. LOGAN: Just core stuff, you know, sociology, freshman comp. Mass com, which is kinda coming in handy. You know, apparently being the offspring of a murderer doesn't get old. I'm getting all these interview requests. Larry King wants me to come on with O.J.'s kids. KEITH: Oh, you thinking about it? LOGAN: No. KEITH: Why's that? VERONICA: [with an uncomfortable chuckle] Timeout. Veronica makes the timeout sign. VERONICA: Oooh! Can we stay in the shallow end, please? Logan glances over at her and grins. KEITH: I'm sorry. I think it's a good call. I was just curious as to your reasons. Keith turns to his daughter. KEITH: I didn't realise I had to have the conversation vetted. VERONICA: I would've been happy to veto questions for you ahead of time. KEITH: Mmm, that would've been nice, huh? VERONICA: We could've packed a lunch and made a day of it. KEITH: Missed opportunity, if you ask me. VERONICA: A mistake you can learn from. Logan follows their banter with pleasure. KEITH: What then exactly am I allowed to ask Logan about? VERONICA: I... Veronica struggles to find a safe topic. VERONICA: Hobbies? Father and daughter turn their gaze on Logan. LOGAN: Surfing. KEITH: What's the attraction? Veronica drops her fork. VERONICA: Don't answer that. Keith rolls his eyes and sighs loudly in frustration. End music: unidentified. INT - HEARST COLLEGE, MAC AND PARKER'S DORM - DAY. Veronica approaches the door to Mac and Parker's room, passing a number of notices, including one advertising a "Girls Power Movies Night." She knocks. Parker, in a much better wig than the one last seen in 302 "My Big Fat Greek Rush Week," opens the door and loses her sweet smile as soon as she sees who it is. PARKER: Mac's in Bakersfield. Her great aunt died and she got the call last night. Parker slams the door shut. Veronica stands there a moment then turns with a sigh and an "It figures" smile. She pauses, drops the smiles and thinks hard. Determination results and she turns back to the door. Veronica knocks insistently. This time, Parker is ready for her and opens the door with a look of disdain already on her face. VERONICA: Look. You live with one of my best friends. I'm gonna keep coming here and having doors shut in my face is gonna get- Parker shoves the door closed again, but this time Veronica sticks out her leg and stops it shutting. She kicks the door open again. VERONICA: Old. Parker, frowning deeply, huffs. VERONICA: I have surprisingly strong legs and an hour before my next class. Parker gives in gracelessly, holding open the door and throwing out a "welcoming" hand. PARKER: Well. Veronica enters the room. INT - HEARST COLLEGE, MAC AND PARKER'S ROOM - CONTINUING. Parker shuts the door. PARKER: [sarcastically] You wanna have a rap session? Maybe in our P.J.s? We can eat brownie batter and do each other's nails. VERONICA: Do you really think that when I walked in here that night, I thought, "Hmm. Look. Parker's getting raped. Now where are those movie tickets?" PARKER: No. You just figured the whore was getting her freak on. VERONICA: So, you're really mad because I thought you were a whore? Because lots of people think I'm a whore. PARKER: Don't pretend for a second to understand how I'm feeling. VERONICA: I understand exactly what you're feeling, Parker. I've been understanding since Shelly Pomroy's end-of-the-year party, summer of 2004. Note: this contradicts the date of 7 December, 2003, given in 120 "M.A.D." VERONICA: I'd give you the details, but they're a little fuzzy. PARKER: Uh, I-I didn't...I had no idea. VERONICA: Not something I open with. But now that I've got your attention... Veronica takes a step closer to Parker. VERONICA: [determinedly] I will find out who raped you. That's job one. Parker stares down at her in some consternation but before she can respond, there's a knock at the door. Parker opens it. NISH: Parker? Hi, I'm Nish. I'm the editor of the Hearst Free Press and I'd- Veronica has come to stand next to Parker. Nish isn't happy to see her, but brazens it out. NISH: Veronica. It's good to see you. Veronica isn't such a hypocrite. VERONICA: And that's where we differ. Nish lets it go and addresses Parker. NISH: I was hoping we could talk. VERONICA: I'd be a little careful. Veronica exits the room as Nish enters, scoffing at Veronica's warning to Parker. INT - HEARST COLLEGE, MAC AND PARKER'S DORM - DAY. NISH: She a friend of yours? Veronica, out in the hall, hears this just as Parker shuts the door. She rolls her eyes and sets off down the hall. INT - HEARST COLLEGE, MAC AND PARKER'S ROOM - CONTINUING. Inside the room, Nish sweet talks Parker, now sitting on her bed. NISH: Parker. I'm doing an article on the serial rapes, and I've interviewed most of the other victims and I- PARKER: I don't want to be interviewed. NISH: One question, then. You were at the Theta Beta sorority party, the night you were attacked. Do you remember seeing any of the Pi Sig brothers there? Parker thinks. AVI: [offscreen] The first tier... INT - NEPTUNE GRAND, LOGAN'S SUITE - DAY. Logan is enduring a lecture from a middle-aged man. AVI: ...of your trust fund was intended to last until your twenty-first birthday, Logan. At the rate you're burning through it, you've got fourteen months, maybe. LOGAN: Yeah, I looked at the statement. I should be getting more money. AVI: You think because you still have cheques, you still have money. LOGAN: [angrily] I'm not saying I deserve more. I'm saying there's money missing. AVI: It's complicated. Logan rises from the sofa. LOGAN: All right, then I'll talk to my lawyer, see if he can't figure it out. AVI: I'll do you one better. Avi stands to face him. AVI: [condescendingly] We'll send all your financial records right over. INT - NEPTUNE GRAND, OUTSIDE LOGAN'S SUITE - DAY. The lift doors at the end of the corridor outside Logan's suite ping and open. Veronica and Logan pause inside. VERONICA: You're not showing me p0rn? LOGAN: No. VERONICA: Is it a fuzzy, new-born kitten? They exit the lift and head for the suite. LOGAN: Look, the meeting with Avi Kaufman, bean counter to the stars, didn't go very well. My trust fund's evaporating faster than it should. I think he's skimming off the top. VERONICA: My dad has got a great accountant. LOGAN: I'm thinking I need more of a private detective to help me nail this guy to the wall. Logan, having used his key card, starts to open the door. VERONICA: Well, show me the records. I'm sure I can make sense of- Veronica stops short and her face falls as the door opens. Logan smirks. LOGAN: Go get 'em, bobcat. There are boxes and boxes of files (at least ten) stacked up inside the suite. Veronica sighs. Opening credits. INT - MARS INVESTIGATIONS - DAY. Keith is working quietly in his office. He glances up at the sound of steps and a light knock on the door jamb. HARMONY: Hi. A woman stands at the door, a little nervous and uncertain. HARMONY: Um, I don't have an appointment. Do you remember me by any chance? KEITH: From Judge Crawford's Christmas parties, of course. Keith rises from his desk and walks towards. KEITH: Harmony, right? HARMONY: Right. She holds out her arm and they shake hands warmly. HARMONY: You helped me with my tyre that one year. KEITH: And you thanked me profusely every year after that. They both chuckle. Keith points to a chair and returns to his. KEITH: Sit, sit, please. What-What can I do for you? HARMONY: Um, well, uh. You ever heard this one before? I think my husband's having an affair. KEITH: [surprised] Oh. HARMONY: You didn't know I was married. KEITH: I didn't. HARMONY: Everyone's always surprised. You can wear a ring, but if the husband's never around... KEITH: So, what makes you think he's involved with someone? She shrugs. HARMONY: Working late, mysterious calls, last minute business trips. I keep looking for the lipstick on his collar just so it's full-on trite, but...then there's the fact that we're in a loveless marriage, he's a kind of glorified roommate these days who happens to be a fantastic father. I had settled into that being my life, happy daughter, façade of happy marriage... KEITH: And then you got a couple "don't wait up" calls. HARMONY: I can't just leave for me. I need a reason. Do I sound awful? Keith shakes his head. INT - HEARST COLLEGE, LIBRARY - DAY. Veronica consults the computer for a waiting student. VERONICA: Russian literature, between Tolstoy and Turgenev. She nods and he walks away. Veronica continues to gaze at the screen until interrupted by Wallace. WALLACE: I liked the other place you worked better. VERONICA: Think maybe that's because we had food there? WALLACE: Did you see this? Wallace holds up the copy of the Hearst Free Press that he is carrying. VERONICA: "Pi Sig frat common thread in campus rapes." Under the headline that she has read out loud, the sub-headline is "Fraternity events overlapping rapes." There's a graphic of the Pi Sigs house and blacked out pictures of four women surrounding it, with lines running down to a big question mark placed over the porch of the house. On the left-hand side, the smaller story headlines are: "Inflate Me More," More Than Music," and "Climb This." WALLACE: There was a Pi Sig event the night of every attack. There's a little graphic and everything. Wallace turns the paper over to reveal the bottom half. There is a bar graph under the heading "Rape-ternity?" Veronica takes the paper and looks more closely. VERONICA: Coloured ink. It must be true. WALLACE: The last girl, Claire, was at the Pi Sig haunted house the night she was raped. VERONICA: I trust Nish as far as I can throw her, but I can't throw those frat boys very far either. I'm feeling pretty anxious to give it a try, though. EXT - MARS RESIDENCE - NIGHT. Keith leaves the apartment, laden with his bag over his shoulder. He pauses after shutting the door. KEITH: Can I help you? Dick appears to be trying the door of the apartment next door. It's the one Duncan and Veronica used in 211 "Donut Run" and now appears to be occupied, given the light seen through the blind in the window. DICK: Do you know which one of these is Veronica's? Dick turns, faces and recognises Keith. DICK: Oh, guess so. This is so freaky. I've totally been to this complex before. We had to pick up our maid here once. Keith continues to observe his passively. DICK: Is Veronica home? With minimal enthusiasm, Keith unlocks the door to the apartment and opens it for Dick. Dick smiles and steps forward, making a great production out of wiping his feet on the mat. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. Dick steps inside, followed closely by Keith. KEITH: Honey? Dick looks around, feigning interest. DICK: Ah, it's like a little kitchen area, huh? Oh, it's so awesome. Veronica comes out from her bedroom. VERONICA: If you're not gonna shoo it out with a newspaper, I'm stepping on it. DICK: Hey, buddy. Hope it's not weird me just showing up. I can't believe I've known you forever and you've never had me over. VERONICA: You left a flaming bag of dog poo in front of our door one time. That was kind of a play date. Dick grins and nods. KEITH: You need me to... VERONICA: It's fine. Keith nods at Dick and exits. DICK: You guys are cute. VERONICA: Dick! Why are you here? DICK: You saw that article about the Pi Sig house, right? That girl Claire gets raped after one of our parties, and suddenly, school's all in a bunch. There's like this hearing scheduled to try to get us kicked off campus, and that's where you come in. VERONICA: I get to do the kickin'? DICK: You get to be the spy who loves me. The guys were really impressed with how you cleared the frat of the rape last year. VERONICA: Were they? That means so little. DICK: They knew we had, like, this connection. So, they sent me here to hire you. We need you to do your Veronica thing and prove it's a pack o' lies. VERONICA: Is it? A pack of lies? DICK: We're a frat. Why rape the cow when you're swimming in free milk? Veronica snorts. VERONICA: Maybe you guys should hire someone you don't disgust. DICK: They don't care about the disgusted thing. They want you. Veronica scoffs and then pauses to think. She comes to a decision. VERONICA: I'll need full access to the fraternity. I need to know everything about the night of the haunted house. My fee is fifteen hundred up front. DICK: Really? Dick glances around the apartment, derisive. DICK: That's what you guys make? VERONICA: That's the Pi Sig rate. DICK: Okay. VERONICA: And you'll need to leave right now before I change my mind. Dick runs out of the apartment. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Who knew that when opportunity knocked, it would look like a horny surfer? After closing the door behind him, he turns back and does thumbs up, shouting through the glass. DICK: Thank you. VERONICA VOICEOVER: And he hand-delivered an invitation into the belly of the beast. EXT - NEPTUNE STREETS - NIGHT. Keith is sitting in his car, in site of a small office building, the ground floor lights of which are blazing. He punches an auto-dial button on his cell. HARMONY: [on phone] Hello? KEITH: Hi, it's Keith Mars. HARMONY: [on phone] Can I guess? She's blonde, twenty-two, no visible pores, and pierced navel. KEITH: Nope. Nope, looks like he's, uh, really working late. I've been parked by his car all night. INT - CHASE RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. Harmony is sitting on the couch in her home, fingering a card. HARMONY: Really? Huh. The camera continues to switch between the locations for the course of the call. EXT - NEPTUNE STREETS/INT - CHASE RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. KEITH: The office on the bottom floor, right? HARMONY: Yeah. The card she is turning over and over in her hand is Keith's business card. HARMONY: So, you're just sitting there looking at his car? KEITH: Yeah. It's glamorous, I know. Harmony laughs. HARMONY: At least it's your job. I did it a couple of weeks ago for sport. I was so sure he was cheating, I decided to follow him. I wore a hat and sunglasses. Keith, clearly smitten, smiles. HARMONY: Not my finest hour. KEITH: No more I Love Lucy reruns for you. HARMONY: Hey, we should have a bet. She's blonde and twenty-two, you owe me a beer. EXT - NEPTUNE STREETS - CONTINUING. KEITH: Goodnight, Harmony. HARMONY: [on phone] Goodnight. Keith closes the phone with something of a sigh. He looks down at the file open on the passenger seat. It's a file marked "Marvin Chase" and has a picture of Marvin and Harmony clipped at the top. He gazes at it until he hears an approaching car. He takes pictures as Marvin exits the passenger side. Keith takes a picture of and notes down the license plate number. A woman emerges from the driver's side. Keith snaps away. He leans back and sighs. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - DAY. Veronica is sitting at the kitchen counter, working. She is wearing a camel-coloured jacket and her hair is pulled back in a no-nonsense ponytail. Keith enters, adjusting his tie and looking spiffy in a suit. KEITH: My accountant said she'd be finished looking over Logan's files this afternoon. On seeing him, Veronica does a wolf whistle. VERONICA: Snazzy. Keith is equally surprised at his daughter's appearance. KEITH: Are we start going to church or are you addressing the junior league? VERONICA: Bland is the new hot. Keith pours himself some coffee. KEITH: Is it possible your boyfriend's financial problems are just his champagne wishes and caviar dreams biting him on the ass? VERONICA: One solid-gold foosball table and a couple of man servants and suddenly he's spendy. Keith takes a sip of the coffee, grimaces and pours it down the sink, so placing him right next to Veronica at the counter. She cocks her head towards him and sniffs as he continues to fiddle with his tie. VERONICA: Umm, did you trip and fall onto sandalwood, musk, and a hint of spicy citrus or is that cologne? KEITH: [defensively] It's aftershave. I'm going to traffic court. VERONICA: Sexy traffic court? KEITH: Hmm. Keith heads out but not before noticing Veronica's sensible shoes. KEITH: Nice shoes. You change your major to Women's Studies? VERONICA: Ha! Yuck it up, fancy pants. Veronica watches him leave, her face a mixture of curiosity and amusement. INT - MARS INVESTIGATIONS - DAY. Keith is working at his desk. HARMONY: [offscreen] Hello! KEITH: In here! Keith stands as Harmony arrives, bearing a large pizza box. HARMONY: Oh, I hope it's okay. I only have twenty minutes, so I brought lunch. KEITH: Oh, I'm booked pretty solid too. HARMONY: Oh, it's a good thing I brought a whole pie then. She places it on the desk, opens the box and sits down. KEITH: Thank you. It's very thoughtful. Keith takes his seat, grinning. HARMONY: So... Keith grabs and open his file. KEITH: The woman who dropped Marvin off is named Carly Hearn. Harmony falls back in her chair. HARMONY: Wow! How 'bout that. KEITH: I take it you know her. HARMONY: Yeah. Carly works at Reilly International. Marvin does a lot of business with them. He once told me that she's the smartest woman he's ever met. KEITH: I only saw her dropping him off. It's possible it was just business. Harmony smirks, then laughs. HARMONY: Having such a weird reaction to this. I'm supposed to be jealous, right? KEITH: I think you should probably just feel however you're feeling. Keith laughs too. HARMONY: I feel strangely... Harmony uses her arms to lift her body off the chair, stretching, before collapsing back down. HARMONY: Impressed...and relieved. I was sure it was going to be a cocktail waitress putting herself through massage school, and my daughter would want me to buy her tank tops with "Bootylicious" across the front. I think Carly went to Yale. Keith checks the file. KEITH: Brown. HARMONY: Still. Harmony sighs and grabs a piece of pizza. KEITH: You ever tie your husband's tie? Harmony pauses in bringing the pizza to her mouth, giving Keith a questioning look. Keith picks something up from his desk by the pizza box and holds it up. It's a tiny microphone. Harmony stares at it. INT - PI SIGMA SIGMA FRATERNITY HOUSE - DAY. Stacked pizza boxes are being rifled through to find one with contents. A frat brother sitting on the couch finds success with the bottom box and pulls out a slice. Veronica is standing in the centre of the room, waiting. VERONICA VOICEOVER: When entering a frat house full of accused rapists, the pants suit is a solid wardrobe choice. It's fashion's way of saying, "Move along, nothing to see here." Chip enters from another room, noting first his brother's activities. He points at him. CHIP: Hey, you better leave me a slice, bro. He comes to a halt in front of Veronica. CHIP: Hey, Veronica. VERONICA: Yeah, hey. So, I'll need to know where each frat brother was at the time of the rape. CHIP: Isn't the best way to clear us to figure out who really did it? VERONICA: That's what I'm doing. I need to know who saw what. CHIP: Yeah, fine. Whatever you want. VERONICA: So, the newspaper said that the last thing Claire remembered from the night of her attack was buying a drink in front of the haunted house. Do you remember who was serving drinks? CHIP: Uh... Chip laughs. CHIP: It was Charleston. Uh, you don't want to talk to him, though, he's an idiot. Veronica just smiles and stares at Chip expectantly. Cut to a small alcove off the main room where Charleston is playing pinball on a table dedicated to Baywatch. Music: unidentified. Veronica is standing somewhat impatiently by him, for Charleston is not interrupting his game for her. She consults her notebook. VERONICA: Your last name is Chu? CHARLESTON: Yeah. VERONICA: [quizzically (Charleston Chew is an American candy bar)] Charleston Chu? CHARLESTON: My first name's really Hsiang. Look. I just poured flat soda into plastic cups. I don't know anything about the rape. VERONICA: Wow. I didn't even have to ask. Did you work the stand all night? CHARLESTON: I guess. I don't remember every second, so, yeah, I probably served her a drink. Doesn't mean I raped her. Veronica writes in her notebook. VERONICA: Nope, it just means you're the most likely suspect, Token, and when the media circus starts, you know, like it did at Duke, that whole lacrosse rape scandal, who do you think they're gonna get to do the perp walk on the six o'clock news. Veronica puts her notebook in her bag and turns, walking away. CHARLESTON: You're supposed to be working for us. This doesn't cause her to pause and Charleston is forced to abandon his game and chase after her. CHARLESTON: Okay, wait! Veronica smiles as he catches up with her in the main room. CHARLESTON: Wait up. Wait. All right, there's...there's more. Veronica finally stops and turns to face him. End music: unidentified. CHARLESTON: Once the bank for the refreshment stand reached five hundred dollars, we were supposed to bring it up to Chip's room, right, 'cause he's in charge of the cash. So, I did but his door was locked. I heard noises, I started knocking, and then...then, like, Chip whips open the door, all pissed off and out of breath. VERONICA: 'Cause that's where his StairMaster is? CHARLESTON: He was buck naked and sweaty. Like I caught him in... VERONICA: Flagrante. CHARLESTON: No, in the middle of s*x. Veronica pauses to consider the inadequacies of a college education. Behind them, a frat brother is opening the front door of the house. FRAT BROTHER: Can you believe what's going on outside? The muted sounds that could be heard as soon as Charleston and Veronica reached the main room are given clarity by the open door. It is the sound of protesters. Veronica and Charleston follow the frat brother out and stand on the porch. EXT - PI SIGMA SIGMA FRATERNITY HOUSE - DAY. PROTESTERS: No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first. No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first. No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first. No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first. No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first. No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first. No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first. No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first. No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first. No more rapes at Hearst, women's safety first. It's something of a circus. One small and another much larger group of girls are chanting and holding up placards. Photographers are snapping the event. In the main group are: a bald Claire, holding a placard that says, "We Will Stop You," Nancy, holding a large poster bearing a picture of herself and bearing the legend "Victim #3 Nancy Cooper, Parker, holding a similar poster as Victim #4, and Nish. Amongst the other posters and placards are the following messages: "Five rapes, five too many," "We demand action," Rape is a hate...," and "Give a hoot, don't rape." Parker stumbles a bit on the intensity of the chant when she sees Veronica on the porch. Veronica isn't thrilled to be seen there herself. Dick emerges from the house, shirtless and carrying a cocktail in a plastic cup. He puts his arm around Veronica's shoulders. DICK: [channelling Heather O'Rourke in Poltergeist] They're here. Veronica throws him a look of disgust. INT - MARS INVESTIGATIONS - DAY. A pair of discarded women's shoes is on the floor by the small couch in the main office. Harmony and Keith are sat on the couch, facing each other, very comfortable. Keith is telling his tales of his law enforcement days and Harmony is engrossed. HARMONY: You arrested the wrong guy? KEITH: Totally wrong guy. I'd march him away, he didn't say a word, like he was relieved just to have an excuse to get out of the house. Harmony laughs. KEITH: Now that was a rocky marriage. Their tête-à-tête is interrupted by the arrival of Veronica and Logan. KEITH: Hey, Veronica. First Keith and then Harmony get up from the couch. Veronica immediately takes in the tableau. VERONICA: Hey, yourself. HARMONY: Veronica, the liberator of lobsters? LOGAN: Awe, I never knew. VERONICA: A single lobster, once, from the Chart House when I was seven. He tells that one to all the new clients. KEITH: Uh, you know, Harmony, I, um, 'm actually expecting another appointment coming in. HARMONY: Of course. Harmony puts her shoes back on. HARMONY: Okay, I'll talk to you. Harmony makes her way out of the office. KEITH: Yeah, I'll be in touch. Thanks. HARMONY: Bye-bye. VERONICA: Bye. KEITH: Bye. Keith's gaze lingers at the door before he returns his attention to Logan. KEITH: I spoke to my accountant, and, uh, your business manager doesn't appear to be stealing anything. The Echolls estate contributes ten thousand dollars a month to an organisation called Aaron's Kids, and that's where the missing money is going. Veronica looks puzzled. LOGAN: And Aaron's Kids? Is that my dad's pathetic excuse for a charity? KEITH: I hope that helps clear things up for you. Keith returns to his office. Veronica and Logan both look dissatisfied. Cut to later. Logan, having been out, returns to the office carrying a large brown bag which he carries to Veronica's desk. LOGAN: Hey, I'm sorry it took so long. I went out for Thai and ended up getting a massage. You should have been more specific. Veronica is at her laptop. Logan bends down to see the screen. VERONICA: Your dad's charity, Aaron's Kids, was a non-profit corporation that shut down years ago. Aaron's Kidz, spelled with a Z, is still in business, however. Its chairman is Avi Kaufman, your dad's business manager, and this Aaron's Kidz isn't even remotely a charity. INT - HEARST COLLEGE, FOOD COURT - DAY. Judging by the change of clothes, it is the next day. Veronica and Logan are eating at one of the small Food Court tables. LOGAN: Hey, you think I should dangle Kaufman out of a window by his ankles? VERONICA: How 'bout you numb your fury with grease and fat, until I can do a little more homework? LOGAN: Reason, huh? Not sure I like it. Veronica sees something of interest beyond Logan. VERONICA: Here's a fun thing to say to your beau. Mind if I go put the screws to someone? LOGAN: Go ahead, screw your brains out. Veronica gives Logan a kiss on the cheek (which he promptly wipes off with a napkin) and heads over to one of the service counters where Chip has just collected some food on a tray. Veronica notices that his hands are badly bruised. VERONICA: Whoa! What happened to your mitts? Let me guess. It involved a cookie jar. CHIP: I was working the boo room at the haunted house. VERONICA: "Boo room"? CHIP: You know, it's a staple of haunted houses. It's pitch black, we dress like cat burglars, jump out, yell "boo." VERONICA: So your hands ended up bruised how? CHIP: Uh, I was crouched down and one of the guys stomped on 'em. VERONICA: Hmm. Okay, next question, and this one's tougher. Who were you knocking boots with that night? Chip laughs uncomfortably. VERONICA: The night Claire was raped, you were naked and sweaty, locked in your room with some mystery girl. CHIP: Charleston's pretty chatty, huh? Ah, that boy scares easy. VERONICA: A problem is just an opportunity in disguise. Tell me who you were with, I'll confirm it and you're in the clear. CHIP: No, I'm not. I could tell you but the girl I was with will never in a million years admit to it. EXT - HEARST COLLEGE - DAY. Charleston and his girlfriend, Charlotte, are sucking face. The girl giggles as Charleston pulls away. CHARLESTON: Okay, I gotta go. He pulls himself out of her arms. She waves. Charleston, as he's walking away backwards, puts his hand on his heart, then points at her. He turns and runs off. Charlotte laughs and continues to watch him go as Veronica comes to stand next to her. VERONICA: Sad to see him go, but it's nice to watch him leave. Charlotte turns to Veronica. CHARLOTTE: Do I know you? VERONICA: Oh, I'm friends with your boyfriend, Charleston...and your boy on the side, Chip. CHARLOTTE: What are you talking about? VERONICA: You and Chip. Weren't you his date to the haunted house? I hear you went as the beast with two backs. CHARLOTTE: No. Why would you even say that? VERONICA: Look, you're Chip's alibi. The time will come when you'll have to own up to it or things will really go south for Chip and the Pi Sigs. Charlotte gets snotty. CHARLOTTE: I don't need to own up to anything. She marches off. Veronica, miffed, watches her go. Dick strides up behind her. DICK: You're torturing me. Veronica turns to face his with a big smile. VERONICA: Without even trying? God, I'm good. DICK: My brothers are all sorts of pissed. They think you're coming after them, instead of trying to find the real raper. VERONICA: Do you mean rapist? Learn the terminology. Dick does an exaggerated, "couldn't care less" shrug. In doing so, he holds out his arms and Veronica notices that one of his hands is very bruised, just like Chip's. VERONICA: What happened to your hand? DICK: Window fell on it. Whatever. Look, people are really starting to think we rape. The hearing is in two days, so go work your little pixie spy magic and fix this. VERONICA: Logan said you showed up at his place the night of Parker's rape, all wrecked, saying you screwed up. DICK: Whipped guys make the worst friends. Dick storms off. VERONICA VOICEOVER: So, Dick, a rapist? INT - MARS RESIDENCE - NIGHT. Veronica is at her desk in the bedroom, thinking. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Two in the same household. Possibly. Quarterbacks seem to run in the Manning family. I know Logan's always worried about being genetically predestined for anti-social behaviour. Veronica gets up and walks to her whiteboard. VERONICA VOICEOVER: I suppose that's a question best left to the social scientists. Right now, it's time to figure out where his money is going. She writes on it: "Avi Kaufman, Chairman" and underneath: "DBA Micardo Enterprises." She draws a box around them and steps back to look at her handiwork. As she returns to her desk, the camera discloses the whole board on which, in addition to that she just wrote, is another box above with "Aarons Kidz" written in it. From the box she just drew, there is an arrow pointing down to a big question mark. At her desk, Veronica pulls up the Planet Zowie search engine and types in "micardo." She gets a number of hits, the top one being for Micardo Enterprises, reading: "Micardo Enterprises specializes in...Learn more about Micardo Enterprises and how we can help...All rights reserved, copyright Micardo Enterprises 2006...www.micardoenterprises.com/ - 118k." Underneath that main entries are two sub-entries: "Micardo Enterprises/Contact. ...Located in Southern California, Micardo Enterprises looks...for the employee of Micardo Enterprises that you would like to contact...Thank you, the Micardo Team...www.micardoenterpirses.com/contact/ = 109k" and "Micardo Enterprises/Strategies. Micardo Enterprises utilizes the best tools to ensure the...Founded with the goal of taking vital aspects of your business...Our responsive support staff will facilitate in the...www.micardoenterprises.com/strategies/ - 122k." Veronica clicks on the contact entry. A page from Micardo Enterprises pops up on screen, indicating that the president of the company is on Ryan Douglas (800) 555-0199 Phone, (657) 555-0147 Fax. Veronica is on the phone. VERONICA: Hi. Can I speak to Ryan Douglas, please? It's about his interest in Micardo Enterprises. Sometime later, a weary Keith enters the apartment. He puts down his stuff and then notices the light under Veronica's door. He enters her room and walks over to her desk where Veronica is still sitting staring at the whiteboard. She sighs and glances at her father. VERONICA: This new case is keeping you out late. KEITH: You look wiped out. What you up to? Keith looks over at the whiteboard. VERONICA: I was trying to seal the embezzlement case against Logan's business manager. The whiteboard is now full. An arrow from the Kaufman/Micardo box now leads to the left side of the board, to a box marked "H.Jardon Ent," also in a box. From it there are three arrows leading to different boxes, and from them, more arrows. The names include Kelly Spada (for the fan who organised the "Save Veronica Mars" plane before Season Three was confirmed) and Askwith International (for a fan who spent some time in San Diego with the crew on a project). They lead to one name - Charlie Stone. VERONICA: I discovered something else entirely. KEITH: Who's Charlie Stone? Veronica doesn't answer, but just stares up at her father. EXT - NEPTUNE GRAND, LOGAN'S SUITE - NIGHT. Logan is out on the balcony, looking out over Neptune. Veronica can be seen behind him, entering the suite. He hears the door shut and smiles, watching her walking out to join him. LOGAN: Perfect timing. I think Lonely Telescope Guy is getting tired of me just mooning him. Veronica puts her hands on his shoulders. VERONICA: [softly] I need to talk to you. I followed the trust money all the way down the rabbit hole. The payments are going to a person named Charlie Stone. Do you know who that is? LOGAN: No, should I? VERONICA: Yeah, probably. Charlie Stone is your brother. Logan is stunned. Cut to moments later. Logan is staring out into the night. VERONICA: Your dad's business manager buried him pretty deep. You weren't supposed to find out. No one was. I googled him. All I learned was that he teaches at a private school, in San Juan Capistrano, but he is in the book. Veronica hands him a slip of paper. VERONICA: Here's his number. LOGAN: Yeah, and what am I supposed to do? INT - NEPTUNE GRAND, LOGAN'S SUITE - NIGHT. It's later, Veronica is gone and Logan is inside, staring down at the number. He punches it into his cell phone. ANSWER MACHINE: Hi, this is Charlie. Please leave a message. LOGAN: Hi. Logan is very hesitant. LOGAN: Charlie, it's, uh...Logan Echolls calling. EXT - HEARST COLLEGE - DAY. Veronica runs to join Parker, walking across campus. VERONICA: Parker! Hey. PARKER: Save yourself the performance. I know you're working for the Pi Sigs. VERONICA: I'm not working for the Pi Sigs. I'm working for you. PARKER: Yeah. VERONICA: I'm just using this opportunity to get close to them so I can figure out what they're up to. PARKER: Yeah, and you're trying to find out who raped me by hugging it out with Dick Casablancas? VERONICA: You know Dick? PARKER: I gave him my number at orientation. I actually thought he was cute. Mac said he showed up at our room the night before the rape and was pounding on the door, looking for me. VERONICA: Did you tell anyone? PARKER: No, when I talked to the sheriff, I didn't know about it. He's not as harmless as he looks. Nancy said he chased her out of the haunted house, screaming at her, calling her a bitch. VERONICA: Why was he screaming at her? PARKER: Next time you guys are snuggling on the frat house porch, ask him. Parker hurries away from Veronica. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT - NEPTUNE STREETS - NIGHT. Keith is parked outside a bar or restaurant. He has an earpiece in his ear and is listening to Marvin and Carly's conversation as they exit and walk towards their car. CARLY: I would if I could, but for now, Jerry is still the boss. MARVIN: Does he respect your opinion? CARLY: I think he sees Joe as some kind of a side project. Keith takes some pictures. Marvin takes Carly's hand to help her skip over a puddle. CARLY: He thinks he's going to get Joe to turn around. Based on what? MARVIN: Projections he came up with at bingo. He's one of those people who thinks that years he's logged are in direct proportion to how smart he is. They've reached the car and Marvin opens the door for Carly. She doesn't get in, instead leaning in for a kiss. Keith gets the shot. INT - HEARST COLLEGE, NANCY'S DORM - DAY. Veronica is sitting on the floor, leaning against wall in a dorm. Nancy approaches. Veronica rises. VERONICA: Can I talk to you? NANCY: You a little busy doing funnel shots with the Pi Sigs? VERONICA: Aren't you? I heard you went to their haunted house. That must have been fun. Did you go as a hypocrite? NANCY: I went with Claire because we heard there was a grope room. VERONICA: And you were looking for a little grab-assing? NANCY: A little poetic justice. Veronica cocks her head quizzically. NANCY: They set up this boo room so they could fondle girls as they went through. So, we dressed up as rats and strategically put rat traps on all of our gropable parts. Veronica chuckles. VERONICA: Okay, that is pretty genius. NANCY: I was in the room all of three seconds before Dick Casablancas was caught in one of my traps. VERONICA: Their bruised hands. NANCY: It must have hurt because he ran me out of the party, screaming. VERONICA: Was Claire with you? NANCY: No. That's when I lost track of her. I looked for her forever and I thought I saw her later on down the street from the party, but it wasn't her. VERONICA: You're sure? NANCY: Yeah. I yelled for her. Nothing. The sheriff knows all of this. VERONICA: So, the girl you thought was Claire. Where did you see her? EXT - CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY. Veronica walks down a street, seen from the inside of a store. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Nancy thought she saw Claire on the street outside of this convenience store. It's worth making sure she wasn't right the first time. INT - CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY. She enters the store and heads for the counter where an elderly man is working. VERONICA: Hi. I was wondering- WALTER: I'm not hiring. VERONICA: Actually, I was wondering if you were working last Saturday night. WALTER: I work every Saturday night. What else am I gonna do? Veronica digs a picture of Claire out of her bag and hands it to the man. VERONICA: Do you remember seeing this girl. Her name is Claire. WALTER: Yeah, I saw her. So drunk she could barely stand. If your parents knew what you kids really do here... Veronica is a little taken aback at the preaching. VERONICA: A-And you're sure it was her? WALTER: She came in with a guy. She's falling asleep on my magazine rack. He's trying to scrap together change to buy prophylactics. Then he's all mad because he can't use a credit card unless he spends fifteen dollars. So, I sent him next door to the ATM. They came back later. He bought his raincoats - one less b*st*rd child conceived by morons. Veronica's eyes widen at that. The man hands back the photo with a flourish. WALTER: Everyone's haaaaappy. VERONICA: Thanks. Slightly bemused, Veronica smiles, takes the photo and leaves. EXT - NEPTUNE GRAND, LOGAN'S SUITE - NIGHT. From inside the suite, the camera looks out on the balcony. Logan is sitting at a small table, drinking beer. He is listening to the guest sitting next to him at the table. CHARLIE: I started bugging my mom about who my dad was when I was, I don't know, six, seven. Then on my tenth birthday, my mom takes me to see Aaron Echolls in Thought Police. The camera switches to the balcony, revealing Logan's guest, a young man. CHARLIE: She points to the screen and she says, "That's the guy. That's your dad." LOGAN: She took you to see Thought Police on your birthday? Did she hate you? Charlie laughs. CHARLIE: I'm, like, mom, don't screw with my head. I'm ten. I can't deal with the news that the guy mind-wrestling with Stallone on screen knocked you up. She was a stewardess when she met Aaron. She said she met him working first class on an L.A. to New York red-eye. My mom is a looker. Charlie, not drinking beer, takes a sip from the cup in front of him. LOGAN: Yeah, I'm sure she is. CHARLIE: I didn't believe her 'til she showed me the cheques, the hush money. How many kids of single parent flight-attends score the best private schools, still I'd see pictures of your family and think that life should be mine. LOGAN: Nah, you don't want it. Trust me- CHARLIE: No, I know, that's the thing. The more I watched, the happier I was that it wasn't my family. Your dad cheats on your mom, it's on the cover of People. Your sister shoots Nicole Richie with a BB gun, Jay Leno opens his monologue with it. Then the murder. I started wondering if something was wrong with me, you know, if this is my bloodline. LOGAN: Yeah, join the club. Logan holds out his bottle and they clink drinking vessels. Charlie drains his cup and looks at his watch. CHARLIE: Ah, this has been great but I gotta run. Papers to grade. LOGAN: Well, yeah, it has. They stand. LOGAN: We'll have to do it again. Longer next time. CHARLIE: I'd like to hear about him, Aaron, the details, good or bad. LOGAN: Yeah, bad mostly. CHARLIE: There's just this void. You know him... Veronica opens the door from the suite onto the balcony. VERONICA: Oh, hello. LOGAN: Veronica, this is my half-brother, Charlie. Charlie, my girlfriend, Veronica. Charlie and Veronica shake hands. CHARLIE: Hey, nice to meet you. VERONICA: Yeah, you too. LOGAN: Oh, Charlie has to get home, grade papers. He's got an honest job. He's a contributing member of society. Very un-Echolls. CHARLIE: Yeah, and if I get them graded by tonight, I can hit Zuma at dawn. Veronica smiles blandly, but Logan responds with enthusiasm. LOGAN: You surf? CHARLIE: As often and as long as I can. LOGAN: Man, we are brothers. Charlie pats Logan on the arm and walks past Veronica into the suite. Logan follows him. Veronica stays on the balcony, thoughtful. VERONICA VOICEOVER: I have options. I could be excited for Logan. INT - CALVERT ACADEMY - DAY. Veronica enters a school, passing a notice for a canned food drive and various others, including one that says, "Go Calvert." VERONICA VOICEOVER: Thrilled even that his new brother is such a keeper. Or, I can be me. She arrives at the classroom door of Mr. Stone (through the portals of which no food or beverages may pass). She knocks. A young, dark-haired man opens the door and smiles pleasantly. There is a classroom of kids behind him. VERONICA: Hi. Um, sorry to bother you. Are you by any chance the sub for Mr. Stone? MR. STONE: No, I'm the real deal. I'm Mr. Stone. Veronica stares at him as he glances back at the classroom. MR. STONE: Sorry, I've got a class starting. Did you need something? VERONICA: No, uh, just looking for someone else. MR. STONE: Okay, then I gotta call roll. The real Charlie Stone returns to his pupils and the door swings shut. EXT - ON THE WATER - DAY. Logan and the fake Charlie are on the water, wearing wet suits and sitting astride their surf boards. LOGAN: So, it's Christmas, right? The entire family unit is around... Logan spits out some water. LOGAN: Which was rare. And I'm, I don't know, I'm nine and Aaron hands me a gift, but he notices the box has been re-wrapped, you know, so he knows I peeked. I'm nine years old; he's re-gifting me a fruit basket. Charlie shakes his head. LOGAN: He starts shouting about how I've ruined Christmas. CHARLIE: Oh, my God. LOGAN: Yeah. And he, uh, he tells me I'm not opening another gift until I eat all twelve pears in the box. CHARLIE: Damn, man, the scissors incident, the drained swimming pool episode, now the box of pears. LOGAN: Yeah. So, I'm eating the pears and taking my time, taking these dainty bites...the man comes unhinged. Takes these pears and just starts shoving them down my throat one after another. And then...and I'm choking but he doesn't stop until my mom holds a cheese knife to his throat. To this day, I puke if I smell a pear. Charlie doesn't know what to say. He stares in the distance until Logan pushes him over on his surf board and then flips over himself. EXT - BEACH - DAY. Music: unidentified. With their wetsuits stripped off to the waist and carrying their boards under their arms, they walk up the beach, chatting amiably. Logan spots Veronica, sitting on some rocks with her laptop open, and veers Charlie and himself in her direction. LOGAN: Quick Jim, hide them hookers! Veronica gives a fake chuckle as the boys join her and set down their boards. VERONICA: Hi, Logan. Hi, Norman Phipps. LOGAN: What did you call him? VERONICA: His name. Norman Phipps. At least, that's the name of the guy who rented his rental car and a quick google check reveals that Norman Phipps is a contributor to Vanity Fair. Logan is shattered. VERONICA: Thank God for mobile wireless, huh? So, Norman, how's your story coming. NORMAN: It's great. In fact, I'm almost there. Just one thing, Logan. That fruit basket? Was it from Harry and David? God is in the details. Logan takes a threatening stride. NORMAN: Ah, please take a swing. It'd make a great lead. Logan smiles and appears to back off, but then lashes out and punches him. Norman falls to the ground. Without a backward glance, Logan picks up his board. VERONICA: I'm so sorry. I should've just left it alone. Logan walks away. End music: unidentified. INT - MARS INVESTIGATIONS - DAY. The scene opens on Keith's picture of Marvin and Carly kissing. HARMONY: [offscreen] I guess this is the money shot. Keith and Harmony are sitting side by side on the small couch in the main office. HARMONY: Right? She drops the picture. HARMONY: I wanted proof, I got proof. So, now I do it, right, I leave him. KEITH: Harmony... HARMONY: Is that standard operating procedure? I mean, do I kick him out, will he move out, do I take our daughter to a hotel KEITH: Before you do anything... He reaches into his jacket pocket. He pulls out a small tape recorder. KEITH: You need to hear this. He switches it on and puts it down on the table. It plays (a different take from that shown earlier - whoops). MARVIN: [on tape] He's one of those people, thinks the number of years he's logged are in direct proportion to how smart- There's the smacking noise of a kiss. MARVIN: [on tape] Whoa, wait, Carly. Stop. I can't. I have a wife, family. I'm not gonna do this. Harmony drops her head in her hands. KEITH: They left separately. I followed Marvin back to your house. This morning he handed off the Reilly International account to someone named... Keith consults his notebook. KEITH: Uh, Daryl Derryberry. HARMONY: I should go home. Keith nods sadly. KEITH: Yes, you should. Harmony stands and walks out, her shoulders drooped in defeat. Cut to later. Keith is at his desk, regretting lost opportunity. Veronica leans against the door jamb. VERONICA: Remember that case a couple years ago where that woman was impersonating her boss? How did you [with air quotes] "obtain" the ATM photos that proved it? KEITH: I know a guy. Veronica's face indicates that she wants more. KEITH: A representative of the bank. He needs to request a court order and once the court order is issued, it only takes about an hour to get the photos. VERONICA: So, it's a piece of cake. KEITH: A monkey, with a friend who's a bank representative can do it. Veronica leans down onto the desk and smiles. VERONICA: So, Bubbles. You feel like doing me a solid? Hm? EXT - HEARST COLLEGE - NIGHT. Students are converging on the Administration building, including a group of about six Pi Sigs in suits, led by Chip and Dick. Veronica appears in their path. VERONICA: Hello, Chip, Dick, faceless Star Trek crew members. CHIP: Hey! Here to give us our money back? VERONICA: Mm. Veronica pulls something out of a file. VERONICA: The morning after the haunted house, Claire woke up alone in the park, five a.m., her head was shaved. Veronica hands Chip a picture. It shows Claire, looking out of it, standing at the ATM machine. Behind her is an Asian boy, his hands on his hips. VERONICA: This photo was taken of Claire the night she was raped. It's from an ATM on the corner of Stanton and Lake. Look at the timestamp. Chip hands the picture to Dick. VERONICA: Two a.m. The haunted house had been closed for two hours. She still has her hair, so we know she hasn't been raped yet. And look who she's with. DICK: Who's that dude? It's not one of us. VERONICA: Precisely. You Pi Sigs have exactly one Asian member and that's not him. [unenthusiastically] Voila. It's proof of innocence. Courtesy of pixie spy magic. The Pi Sigs are delighted. Veronica turns slowly and freezes. She starts to walk forward. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Hmm. When did the Greek chorus of feminist shame arrive? Claire, Nancy, Parker and Nish front a small group of girls staring at her with disgust. EXT - CALVERT ACADEMY - DAY. The real Charlie Stone arrives at Calvert Academy in his cars. There's a media circus waiting for him. PHOTOGRAPHERS AND REPORTERS, VARIOUSLY: Guys, here he is! All right, move it. Come on, get a shot. Can we get a shot, please? Charlie! ...part of the Echolls family. Sir, can you just stop for one second? I just what to ask you a few questions? Charlie avoids them all and heads into the school. INT - HEARST COLLEGE - DAY. Veronica is sitting somewhere on the campus, reading. PARKER: [offscreen] Good news. Veronica looks up. Parker puts on a congratulatory pose. PARKER: The Pi Sigs were absolved. VERONICA: [sighing] Because they were innocent. Parker drops the sarcasm and folds her arms. PARKER: Because you helped them, which is what you were trying to do all along. Veronica gives her a WTF look. PARKER: How do you live with yourself? VERONICA: I was looking for the truth and I found it. You wanna nail someone to the wall, just to have someone nailed there, or do you want the person responsible to pay? Veronica stands up to her and stares at her for a moment, long enough for Parker to show signs of discomfort. Veronica walks away. EXT - HEARST COLLEGE - DAY. Veronica walks across campus, taking a swig from the bottle of water she is carrying. Logan runs at her, grabbing her waist. VERONICA: Hey! Careful, man, there's a beverage here. Logan smiles, kisses her on the top of her head and walks along with her. VERONICA: You doing okay? LOGAN: On top of the world, looking down on creation. VERONICA: Saw you on Larry King last night, giving your half-brother a little coming out party. Life as Charlie Stone knew it is officially over. LOGAN: I'm choking with empathy. He served me up to that Vanity Fair reporter and brought it on himself. VERONICA: Well, we don't know that for sure. LOGAN: Well, how else could it have happened? Veronica doesn't have an answer. LOGAN: Well, I'm glad you went digging. I have now officially erased any and all romantic notions about my family. VERONICA: That's me: all sorts of helpful. LOGAN: I was hoping you could bust some of it out again and help me find Norman Phipps. VERONICA: Why? LOGAN: Well, I gave him a pocket watch that belonged to my grandfather, the only decent member of my family. 'Course, he died when I was five, so who knows. Still, kinda burns thinking of Norman having it. VERONICA: In my world, the wicked don't get parting gifts. INT - NORMAN'S HOTEL - DAY. Veronica walks along a hotel corridor. She stops at the door to room 103 and knocks. Norman opens the door. He looks at her warily. VERONICA: Hey there, fake Charlie. You weren't expecting to see me again, were you? Can I come in? Veronica doesn't wait for an answer and barges past him into the room. NORMAN: Look, I was just doing my job. None of it matters anyway. The magazine dropped the story when Larry King scooped them. VERONICA: That was the plan. I'm here for the watch. Norman does an "ah" sound and goes to his suitcase, open at the foot of the bed. NORMAN: Your boyfriend got one detail wrong in that interview of his. Norman picks up the watch. NORMAN: Charlie Stone never talked to me. I tracked him down, but he wanted to remain anonymous. VERONICA: Then how did you end up meeting Logan? NORMAN: I had a tap on Charlie's phone. He hands over the watch. INT - NEPTUNE GRAND, LOGAN'S SUITE - NIGHT. Music: "Never Lonely Alone" by Space Needle. LYRICS: You don't know who you are You get your light from a star But I, I can see in the dark I found out a long time ago There's a voice in my head I can't remember what it said It said who You always answer the phone You never go out alone Though I'm never lonely alone Logan and Veronica are sitting on the couch. Logan is staring down at the watch. VERONICA: The reporter acted alone. He was tapping Charlie's line when you called. Your real half-brother is innocent. LOGAN: And I was so quick to believe that guy. And, you know, I look at you and your dad, you know, that thing that you have. I never had that. Veronica leans forward and puts a comforting hand on his arm, resting her chin on his shoulder. VERONICA: You couldn't have known. LOGAN: No, I'm sure that won't matter to him. Cut to later. Veronica is gone and Logan is alone. He dials Charlie's number. It rings. ANSWER MACHINE: Hi, this is Charlie. Please leave a message. LOGAN: Hey, Charlie, it's Logan again. Uh. Listen, I'm sorry about all the messages... Logan sighs deeply. LOGAN: Yeah, I guess I thought I'd give it another shot. Fourth time's a charm, right? Logan closes the phone and sighs again. He walks out onto the balcony and stares into the night. End. End music: "Never Lonely Alone" by Space Needle.

Plan: A: Logan; Q: Who asks Veronica and Keith to find out why his trust fund money is disappearing? A: Veronica; Q: Who investigates Claire's rape? A: a court hearing; Q: What is Dick and the Pi-Sigs trying to avoid? A: Dick; Q: Who hires Veronica to prove the Pi-Sigs' innocence? A: the chagrin; Q: How does Parker feel about Veronica's investigation? A: Parker; Q: Who is the rape victim who is upset that Veronica is hired to prove their innocence A: Keith's friend; Q: Who is Harmony? A: her husband; Q: Who does Harmony hire Keith to prove is cheating? A: two; Q: How many people do Harmony and Keith become close to? A: a man; Q: Who was Claire with the night she was raped? Summary: Logan asks Veronica and Keith to discover why his trust fund money is disappearing. With a court hearing approaching, Dick and the Pi-Sigs hire Veronica to prove their innocence, to the chagrin of Parker and the other rape victims. Keith's friend Harmony hires him to prove her husband is cheating, and the two grow close. Veronica investigates Claire's rape, and learns that she was with a man the night that she was raped.

Opening scene - Cohen kitchen, morning - Sandy walks into the kitchen holding a tie in each hand Sandy: (frowns) hey baby h-have you seen my lucky tie Kirsten: I got it dry cleaned (holds up tie) Sandy: (takes tie, pleasantly suprised) oh (looks at Kirsten) you're an angel (Ryan is reading the paper down the far end of the counter) Ryan: big day Sandy: (puts on tie) well I gotta sign some papers, make a few calls, build a hospital Ryan: (impressed) building a hospital, wow Sandy: well Caleb deserves most'a the credit, I just inherited the project Ryan: so who's payin for it Sandy: the board of the Newport Laguna medical centre, they commissioned a proposal from us an (motions) from a firm in Brea an (raises eyebrows) today we're both presenting Kirsten: (confident) an they are gonna pick you Sandy: well (wiggles tie) now that I got my lucky tie (smiles) Kirsten: hm (Seth comes in. he's a little out of it and still in his robe) Sandy: hey Seth: hello, hi Kirsten: (frowns) are you ok, you seemed a little distracted last night Seth: (looks at Kirsten) uhh yeah, no, I'm fine (Kirsten looks from Seth to Sandy) Sandy: I don't think that convinced anyone Seth: (sighs) I was leavin school yesterday an Mrs. Rushfield said that some Brown rep called an...wants ta interview me on Sunday Sandy: that's great (Ryan looks at Seth) why didn't you say anything Seth: I don't know, I guess it just needed to sink in Ryan: did Summer get an interview Seth: (laughs) I forgot ta ask actually I was jus kinda spinning Ryan: well you want me to help you out, maybe uh ask you a few questions Seth: (with his back to Ryan) yeah Sandy: listen Matt's waitin for me right now but when I get back lets talk, we'll-we'll practice, whatever you need Seth: yeah (pours cereal) Sandy: I gotta go Kirsten: oh I better go too, Julie an I have a meeting with a new client (touches Seth's arm) I am so proud of you Seth: thanks (Kirsten smiles and leaves. Ryan goes over to Seth) Ryan: you sure your alright man Seth: (frowns) yeah its jus kinda weird, its like there I am an I'm all ready to go an I got my watch set ta East coast time an then I get this interview an (shrugs) I don't know it just kinda hit me, like I'm leaving Newport Ryan: well, so your havin second thoughts Seth: (points) dude I planned my first escape on an etch-a-sketch this is my dream, its just I don't know now it's real Ryan: well why don't you talk ta Summer about it I mean I'm sure she's freakin out a little bit too Seth: no I'm fine, seriously this is just my process Ryan: (raises eyebrows) fair enough your...pouring your coffee in your cereal (Seth looks at Ryan then looks down at what he's doing. his cereal bowl has coffee in it) Seth: mm (Seth sits the bowl in the sink and sighs. he looks out the window nostalgically) Seth: (sighs) Newport I hardly knew you... Theme song - Calfornia by Phantom Planet Harbor school - Seth is at his locker and Summer runs over to him excitedly Summer: Cohen! I got one Seth: hey Summer- Summer: (breathless) an interview with the Brown guy Mrs. Rushfield jus told me an that you got one too (points) Seth: (unenthusiastically) oh yeah, that's great Summer: great? Mrs. Rushfield said they only interview people that there serious about, this like totally increases our chances'a getting in together (hits Seth) show some excitement Seth: no it's amazing its jus (looks at Summer) are you feelin any anxiety at all about this Summer: about what (raises eyebrows) Seth: about leavin Newport an your friends an family an goin somewhere completely new in September Summer: (shrugs) well yeah honestly I was Seth: (a little relieved) really cause- Summer: but then I talked to Colonel Flinn Seth: who's Colonel Flinn Summer: he's my boot camp instructor, he's a former Delta (Seth nods) he says you can either ride change, or change rides you (Seth frowns) an also there's no room in the trenches'a life (frowns) for whiny little babies Seth: ah Summer: wanna see my war face (screws up face) grrrrrr Seth: that's uh that's just scary? (we hear the bell) Summer: I gotta go, but um (frowns) its not September (raises eyebrows) freshman orientation starts August twenty fifth Seth: oh... Summer: (kisses Seth) bye Seth: bye CUT TO: Newport Group - the first thing we see is a large board with a drawing of the proposed hospital on it. Sandy is standing next to it presenting their proposal Sandy: (points) situated as it is the hospital will provide ready access to Newport's affluent an less affluent neighbourhoods, servicing the whole community (we see 3 business men sitting across from Sandy and Matt. one of them we later find out is Bill Merriam) Matt: more detailed budgets an schedules are in your folders, along with copies of the permits that we've pulled (one of the men takes a bite of a bagel and looks at his watch) Matt: we know you have another proposal to hear today, you should know we're ready to start any time, jus give us the green light Bill: well speaking for all of us you two have done a great job (stands) I only wish Caleb could'a ben here Sandy: thanks Bill, this project was close to his heart, he did have one as it turns out (shakes Bills hand) Bill: we'll contact you as soon as we've made our decision (Sandy and Matt are now in the room by themselves) Sandy: (pours coffee) now we wait (Matt looks at Sandy then down) what Matt: I took a look at Brea groups plan this morning, I didn't wanna tell you because I didn't wanna spook you before the presentation Sandy: (looks at Matt) so Matt: it's good Sandy: better than ours Matt: there both excellent...but the Brea group has been wining an dining Bill Merriam an the board for months I mean dinner, concerts, cruises Sandy: well we offered em bagels when they came in Matt: I'm worried that we've handicapped ourselves Sandy: when I got inta this I said I wouldn't do business by plying people with meals an gifts Matt: an I respect that, I do but what it could all come down to is who Bill Merriam likes more (raises eyebrows) Sandy: well, hopefully he'll appreciate the fact that we appealed to his intelligence...an not to his taste for Pinot CUT TO: Harbor school - Marissa and Summer are in the student lounge together, sitting at table looking through old photos of the Cooper family. we see one of the photos close up when the scene begins, it is of a young Julie Cooper holding a chubby baby in her arms Summer: here's a picture with Kaitlin (frowns) but what's wrong with this horse Marissa: (looks) that's China, she has alopecia Summer: eww, she looks like a giant Chihuahua (Ryan comes over) Ryan: hey, what's up (sits) Marissa: hey, so Kaitlin turns fifteen this weekend an I'm putting together an album for her Ryan: ah, that's nice of you Marissa: yeah well she hasn't ben home for one since she was (thinks) twelve (raises eyebrows) so we've got a few to make up for Summer: well as long as it comes with 2 carat diamond earrings I'm sure our little Kaitlin will be happy (Ryan looks at her) Marissa: my parents kinda went over board on Kaitlin's birthdays when she was little, it always made (looks at Summer) Summer a little jealous Summer: I need a coffee, anyone else (Ryan shakes his head. Summer leaves. Marissa looks nostalgically at a photo she's holding, it's of a young girl next to a toddler'ish looking girl. I wouldn't be suprised if it was a real photo of Mischa and her little sister. Ryan looks at Marissa then at the photo) Ryan: (nods) what is it Marissa: its jus looking at these old photos...I mean is this really the same girl who stole money from a fraternity (Ryan looks at her) an then lied about paying for an abortion, I feel like I don't even know her anymore Ryan: well family's can be like that, people change on you (Marissa looks at him) maybe this is your chance to get to know the new Kaitlin Marissa: I guess, I mean otherwise she goes back to school an (shrugs) I have'ta go to college an that's it (we see a close up of another photo. it's of a young girl standing with a white horse) CUT TO: The pier - Kaitlin and Johnny are walking together Johnny: Cirque du Soleil Kaitlin: yeah what's wrong with that Johnny: most people I know jus had a clown at their birthday party Kaitlin: my mom went all out, we had presents, games, petting zoo, an honestly the best part was always the after party (smiles, remembering) the whole family together (Johnny listens) we'd stay up late an eat cake (sighs) an watch The Sound Of Music, sing along (laughs) Johnny: (laughs) oh you mean like um...I'm sixteen going on seventeen Kaitlin: yeah except however old I was turning we'd always put in the ages, I guess as long as we still do that the rest doesn't really matter (they are now standing against the railing facing each other) Johnny: (nods)...so have you told Marissa that we're hangin out Kaitlin: (slightly shakes head) no, your not gonna tell her are you Johnny: not much chance of that, now that she's back at Harbor...I haven't even talked to her since your moms party Kaitlin: you mean since we had our midnight swim Johnny: (laughs) you mean since you had your midnight swim an I got you a towel Kaitlin: most guys would've taken advantage of me Johnny: (nods, laughs) yeah I guess I'm old fashioned Kaitlin: it's what I like about (smiles) (Johnny smiles and Kaitlin kisses him on the cheek) Kaitlin: (touches Johnny's arm) now lets talk about what your gonna get me for my birthday CUT TO: The Piet still but a different part - we see Neil go into an establishment we've never seen before. it seems like a restaurant/bar type place but it's not overly fancy. Julie is sitting at a table by herself Neil: Julie (Julie looks) I am so sorry to keep you waiting a procedure ran long (sits) Julie: oh no no its fine you know it's just uh (looks at watch) I have'ta pick up Marissa from school in a few minutes Neil: oh no...well, let's enjoy the time that we have, I'm just happy that we're finally meeting after you postponed twice (raises eyebrows) I...thought maybe you changed your mind Julie: no I jus...kept thinking about the fact that our daughters are best friends I'm a recent widow your...just out of a marriage Neil: (nods) so what...finally tipped the scale Julie: (looks at Neil)...I felt something Neil: (smiles) me too (Julie smiles at Neil, Neil smiles back then Julie looks away) Julie: I'm-I'm so sorry (picks up purse) I really have'ta go Neil: (puts hand on Julies) oh no no no, I got this, Julie how bout dinner on Sunday night (Julie looks at him) I know this terrible burger joint even the owner avoids it, we'll be totally alone Julie: (smiles) Sunday then CUT TO: Seth's bedroom - Seth is on his bed holding Capt. Oats, he's looking very lost. aww. we hear a knock at the door and then Sandy walks in Sandy: hey (Seth slowly sits around and Sandy sits down next to him on the edge of the bed) Sandy: I came to see how your doin Seth: hey dad Sandy: its amazing to think that you'll be leavin in a few months Seth: (sighs) yeah I'm freakin out, for years I've been talkin about how much I wanna get outta here an then...soon as its time I'm all like no, no I'm not ready Sandy: what your feelin is totally natural, I felt it (looks at Seth) leavin the Bronx for California ugh I was terrified about fittin in (Seth listens) I spent a month practicin how to say dude Seth: you still say it ? Sandy: look you're about to begin this great adventure an ya have no idea what's gonna happen Seth: yeah (shrugs) I jus don't really feel like it's the beginning of anything (Sandy's cell rings) I feel like more things are comin to an end an Sandy: I'm sorry (Seth looks at him) it's the hospital board (Seth looks away sadly. Sandy stands and answers the phone) Sandy: Bill, how you doin (laughs) Seth: (stands) uh I'm gonna go take a walk Sandy: (covers phone, softly) good idea clear your head, ill talk to you when you get back (into the phone) I'm sorry, so, are we buildin a hospital CUT TO: The trailer park - Marissa comes through the door carrying take away food Marissa: hey, Kaitlin, anyone home me an mom got take out (Marissa puts the bags on the counter and takes off her jacket. she notices The Sound Of Music DVD sticking out of Kaitlin's bag. Marissa picks it up, looks at it, smiles and then puts it back. Julie comes in Julie: (to Kaitlin) hey sweetie, did Marissa tell you we got Thai take out we're doing dinner ala Cohen Kaitlin: that sounds great, I love Thai (sits on stool) Julie: oh you know what I also picked up a menu from this Armenian place, I thought you guys could order from there Sunday night (puts menu down) I have a business dinner, it's totally annoying Kaitlin: ...Sunday (looks at Julie) Marissa: uh mom, we've got plans Sunday remember Julie: (clueless) what're you talking about we don't have plans on Sunday Marisa: (looks at Julie) yeah we do, we were gonna order in food, watch The Sound Of Music (Kaitlin looks away, hurt) Julie: (still clueless, looks at Marissa) The Sound Of Music why would (Marissa motions to Kaitlin with her eyes then looks at Julie. Julie shakes her head then looks at Kaitlin, finally realising. Kaitlin is still looking away) Julie: oh my god, baby I totally forgot Sundays your birthday (smiles) (Kaitlin looks away more) Marissa: yeah but hey if its business you can totally (shrugs) reschedule right (smiles) Julie: I-I can totally reschedule Kaitlin: you know what, why bother (grabs her bag and jacket, stands) Julie: Kaitlin Kaitlin: no seriously, I hardly even remembered myself (Julie looks at her) I'm gonna go meet a friend because I'm not even hungry Julie: Kaitlin wait (Kaitlin leaves, Julie sighs and Marissa shrugs) CUT TO: Cohen kitchen - Sandy comes down the stairs looking a little like Seth has lately. he goes into the kitchen where Kirsten is cooking dinner Kirsten: oh Sandy d'you wanna tell the boys that dinners almost ready Sandy: sure but (points) Seth's takin a walk, he'll be back soon Kirsten: (looks at Sandy) what's wrong Sandy: ah Bill Merriam called, looks like there goin with the group in Brea Kirsten: oh I'm sorry (looks at Sandy sympathetically) Sandy: I jus really wanted this project Kirsten: is it too late for a new approach Sandy: no we took our shot...plus I don't want a contract if we have'ta get it by plyin some guy with Kobe beef Kirsten: if that's what you think would convince him (raises eyebrows) I think you're selling yourself short Sandy: what'do you mean (looks at Kirsten) Kirsten: I jus know that when you wooed me there was no caviar an champagne an you did alright Sandy: (looks at Kirsten)...I should take Bill Merriam out for pizza (Kirsten smiles) an bad wine in the back of a mail truck Kirsten: I mean show him who you are beyond schedules an budgets (Sandy looks down) an who knows maybe he loves pizza (Kisses Sandy's cheek) CUT TO: The Pier - we see the back of Kaitlin's head, she's smoking against the railing and notices Seth walking in the distance Kaitlin: hey (Seth is standing on the other side. Kaitlin goes over to him) Seth: (looks) Kaitlin, what're you doin here (Kaitlin walks passed him so she's facing him) (frowns) are you...are you smoking pot (we see a quick shot of the joint in Kaitlin's hand) Kaitlin: yeah, why, you a cop Seth: no, but I, you know (points behind himself) I mean Kaitlin: relax, noooobody here's gonna bust me (smiles) you want some Seth: no I'm ok, I'm good thanks Kaitlin: sure (Seth nods) it helps take the edge off an...I could tell you could use it Seth: yeah (looks down) well I was savin the whole drug thing for college plus...my dad smoked pot at Berkeley so it...it's pretty much ruined for me (frowns) where'd you get that at Kaitlin: school (matter of factly) this girl grows it in a closet Seth: what made you decide to uh... Kaitlin: my mom forgot my birthday Seth: (nods) oh Kaitlin: yeah, that whole time when I was gone I kept tellin myself that your paranoid an there not gonna forget about you, wrong (looks away, shrugs) Seth: well you know what, I'm sure your mom feels really bad Kaitlin: but that's not the point, can you imagine (looks at Seth) growing up with Marissa Cooper as your older sister...my birthday was the one day I could count on people actually noticing me, not anymore (Marissa runs over) Marissa: (calls) Kaitlin (Seth and Kaitlin look over) Kaitlin: (to Seth) please don't say anything (Seth motions to Kaitlin that he won't. Kaitlin puts the join out on the railing just as Marissa gets closer) Seth: hey Marissa: hey Seth: we jus bumped into each other, two ships passing Marissa: (to Kaitlin) um come on, please can we go home now (Seth looks at Kaitlin, Kaitlin looks at him) mom feels terrible Kaitlin: (softly) fine (Kaitlin looks at Seth and then starts walking away with Marissa) Marissa: (to Seth) ill see ya Kaitlin: (looks at Seth) offer stands, you know where to find me (Kaitlin and Marissa walk away. Seth has a surreal expression on his face, sort of like "did that really happen/is she for real") CUT TO: The trailer park, next morning - Marissa is sitting on a chair reading InStyle magazine in her PJ's, we can hear the shower running in the backround. we hear a cell phone ringing Marissa: (looks up) Kaitlin your phone (Kaitlin doesn't respond so Marissa puts the magazine down and looks at Kaitlin's cell, she frowns and answers) Marissa: Johnny (Johnny is in his room on his phone, he is also thrown by Marissa answering and not Kaitlin) Johnny: oh Marissa, hey Marissa: hey w- were you calling Kaitlin Johnny: ...uh no I was calling you umm but...your phone didn't ring sooo I figured id give hers a try (shakes head) (Kaitlin comes out of the shower in a pink robe and sees Marissa on her cell phone) Kaitlin: what're you doing Marissa: (takes phone away, softly) hey it's Johnny (shrugs) it's for me (Kaitlin looks away. Marissa goes back to the phone) Marissa: what's up Johnny: y-you know it jus seemed like we hadn't talked for a while Marissa: (raises eyebrows) I know, what're you doing tonight cause we were all gonna go out (Kaitlin looks at her) Johnny: oh uh thanks buuut I-I'm gonna be with a friend...um hey listen my mom needs me, let me uh call you later Marissa: ok, bye (hangs up) Kaitlin: so any time a guy calls it's for you (looks at Marissa) Marissa: what're you talking about, I mean it was for me Kaitlin: forget it Marissa: look Kaitlin I know your upset about last night but Kaitlin: I'm bored talking about it Marissa: ok, well um...we're all going out tonight to the Bait Shop if you wanna come Kaitlin: I can't, I'm meeting friends (smiles) Marissa: I'm gonna go take a shower (Marissa goes into the bathroom and Kaitlin sits down and calls Johnny back) Johnny: hello Kaitlin: so how d'you feel about going to the Bait Shop tonight CUT TO: Roberts' house - Julie is standing at the door and Neil has just opened it Neil: Julie, what a suprise, come in Julie: hi Neil, is Summer here Neil: no I think she's at Seth's Julie: oh ok well, is there any chance that we could have dinner tonight instead of tomorrow night Neil: unfortunately I'm working your not gonna cancel on me are you Julie: well, tomorrows Kaitlin's birthday, I cant believe it slipped my mind, id like to give her a small party, I guess it'd have'ta be small I live in a trailer, I hope you understand Neil: (thinks) then why don't you have it here Julie: what Neil: well there's plenty'a room, girls can use the pool...an I get to see you, what'do you say Julie: (stunned) I say Neil: wonderful (picks up key) here is a key, you can let yourself in do all the prep that you need (Julie looks at Neil, smiles) I've got a couple'a minutes why don't I give you a tour (Neil walks away. Julie stares at the key in her hand) CUT TO: The pool house - Ryan is sitting on his bed and Seth and Summer are sitting in front of him. Ryan is helping them prepare for the interview. Summer appears to also be reading a gossip magazine, lol Ryan: alright Summer (points) this ones for you, you ready Summer: (looks up) yeah I'm listening Ryan: ok, whose been the greatest influence in your intellectual development Summer: um Muccia Prada Seth: (looks at Summer) you probably wanna say somebody more like Einstein or Summer: so you want me to like lie Seth: no I jus I don't think that uh Prada is the answer that there looking for Summer: well this interview could like determine the rest of our lives (raises eyebrows) right (Seth listens) well if I say something that I don't believe in I could end up with (frowns) the wrong life, how awful would that be (Seth looks at her) Ryan: she has a point (looks at Seth) (Seth screws up his face at him, as if to say "what the hell") Summer: I have'ta go get a mani pedi (starts to leave) Seth: Summer Summer: (stops) Cohen if you wanna memorise answers you think that they wanna hear that's fine (folds arms) but (shrugs) I believe in being myself (Seth looks at her) an by the way Muccia Prada combined styles from time periods in ways people never even imagined possible (shrugs) her clothes teach you to change your perspective (smiles, leaves) Seth: I think she'll be fine (points) Ryan: so where d'you see yourself in ten years Seth: where do I see uh myself (points to himself) in ten years (looks down) that's a good question, ok, uhhh (looks at Ryan) well I guess more than anything you know what I would like (points) I would like the happiness (rubs arm) that I have right now, although I guess what're the chances'a that I (puts hands out) mean you go through your life an your probably only gonna be able to look back an...pin point like two or three times where you were genuinely actually happy an then of course in those moments you wouldn't of even (raises eyebrows) appreciated it anyways because who does right so (sighs) where do I see my self in ten years (thinks) umm I guess what I would like is uh id like to be right here, you know what I mean, right now in this moment (frowns) and uh (touches nose) not because I'm afraid of uncertainty because I'm not its jus (chews finger, shakes head) you know I was taught that when you have something good what your suppose'ta do is you hang onto it (nods) you know ya hang onto it with both hands (screws up face) an if somebody tries to take that from you what you should do is you should make sure that they pry it from your cold dead fingers...(softly) yeah Ryan: (looks at Seth)...lets take a break (stands) Seth: oh god (puts head down in hands) Ryan: (pats Seth's neck) ill get you some water CUT TO: Newport Group - Sandy is arriving and Matt is there working Sandy: hey I told you to stop comin in on Saturdays Matt: (motions) look whose talking Sandy: hey listen, give Bill Merriam a call an tell him we'd like to take him out tomorrow Matt: (nods) this is a good idea, I know that they officially haven't given Brea the word yet so, what should I do uh set up a tee time, reservation at The Arches Sandy: you ever eaten at El Pavo Loco Matt: no, is that a new restaurant (folds arms) Sandy: it's a burrito stand, I thought we'd take him on a walking tour of the neighbourhoods around the hospital Matt: (looks at Sandy) your kidding Sandy: the Brea group's hospital is smack in an exclusive area, ours would serve more people I wanna bring that home Matt: Sandy Sandy: I know (closes eyes) it's not how the rest of the world does business (shrugs) Matt: ok...ill tell Bill Merriam that he'll have a day...he'll never forget (Sandy nods) CUT TO: The Bait Shop - we see shots of the dance floor and then we see Marissa and Ryan sitting together at the bar Ryan: (holds up drink) cheers Marissa: (clinks with Ryan's) cheers (drinks) Ryan: how's it goin with Kaitlin Marissa: ...well, I mean she was pretty upset, I invited her out (Marissa's eyes wander over and she sees Johnny and Kaitlin coming down the stairs together. Marissa looks at them stunned. Kaitlin sees Marissa but doesn't seem phased at all) Marissa: (stands) Kaitlin (Marissa makes her way through the crowd and over to the stairs. Ryan follows) Kaitlin: oh my god Marissa I totally forgot you were gonna be here (Marissa looks from Kaitlin to Johnny confused) Marissa: hey, well what're you two doing (Johnny looks at Kaitlin. Kaitlin looks at him) Kaitlin: we're jus hangin out (smiles) so don't freak out or anything Johnny: yeah we probably should'a mentioned it Marissa: so you two are jus, hangin out Kaitlin: well yeah, he took me home from the party remember, then we had a chance to talk (Ryan watches) (looks at Johnny) went for a swim (Marissa raises her eyebrows) Johnny: actually uh- Marissa: (looks at Johnny) oh so I asked you to drive my little sister home an you guys went for a midnight swim Johnny: no I- look (holds hand up defensively) I jus got her a towel (Kaitlin smiles. Ryan looks from Johnny to Kaitlin) Marisa: who were you really calling this morning me or her (Ryan looks at Johnny. Johnny looks down then at Marissa) Kaitlin: (to Johnny) look, I knew she was gonna freak out like this (Marissa raises her eyebrows at Kaitlin. Kaitlin looks at her. Marissa looks at Ryan in disbelief then back at Kaitlin. Ryan looks at Johnny/Kaitlin. Johnny looks at Marissa/Ryan) Marissa: I'm not freaking out I jus don't like being lied to Kaitlin: whatever (Johnny looks down. Ryan raises his eyebrows and looks down) Kaitlin: (to Johnny) can you take me home, I don't feel very well (Marissa rolls her eyes, looks away and then at Johnny) Johnny: I'm sorry (Kaitlin and Johnny leave. Marissa looks at Ryan) Ryan: you alright Marissa: yeah I jus, I don't see why they couldn't (squints) tell me the truth (Ryan looks at Marissa then up at Kaitlin and Johnny as they leave. Marissa is also watching) CUT TO: The trailer park - the first thing we see is a sign that reads "WAYSIDE and underneath that TRAILER PARK". then Johnny's car as it drives in Kaitlin: (off screen) come on, watching Marissa get jealous, admit it felt great Johnny: (off screen) she wasn't jealous (the car stops in front of Julie's trailer) Kaitlin: (off screen) she was so jealous, seeing us together (smiles) Johnny: Kaitlin I'm not sure about this Kaitlin: but I...I thought you liked me Johnny: (looks away) I do...but ok look even if you weren't Marissa's sister (looks at Kaitlin) I'm seventeen your fourteen Kaitlin: fifteen tomorrow Johnny: still Kaitlin: (looks away) fine, I get it (gets out) Johnny: (leans over) no look (Kaitlin looks at him) I wanna keep hangin out...but...as friends, ok Kaitlin: it'll make Marissa mad Johnny: (laughs) I can live with that (Kaitlin shuts the door and smiles, Johnny smiles back and then leaves. Kaitlin walks up to the door) Seth: hey Kaitlin: (startled) oh my god (closes eyes) (we can now see that Seth is standing in the bushes beside the side of the veranda, its dark and he is hard to see) Seth: (laughs) sorry I didn't mean to scare ya I know it seems weird uh me loitering in the shadows Kaitlin: its ok (Seth looks at her) I had a feeling you'd come around (Seth lifts his hands off the railing as if to say "well here I am") [SCENE_BREAK] CUT TO: Seth's bedroom - the first thing we see is a zip lock bag, a lighter and 3 joints sitting next to a school book. the shot changes and we see that Seth is sitting at his desk staring at the joints. he has his head on his hand just staring. we hear a knock at the door. Seth slides everything into an open drawer just as Sandy comes in, and closes it Sandy: hey, top of the mornin Seth: hey Sandy: so today's the day huh Seth: yeah interviews not till this afternoon Sandy: well your mothers makin pancakes (motions) come on down Seth: you know I already ate plus I jus wanna kinda go over some'a this stuff Sandy: at a certain point cramming becomes counter productive (looks at Seth) do somethin to relax Seth: I was thinkin that myself (frowns) Sandy: your gonna do great (Sandy smiles, leaves and closes the door. Seth opens the drawer and pulls the joints back out. the next thing we see is Seth pushing a towel in the gap under the door. he then goes and opens a window, lights up one of the joints with the lighter, blows on the end and then puts it in his mouth) CUT TO: The trailer park - we see Kaitlin eating her breakfast by herself. Marissa comes out looks at Kaitlin and then leans against the fridge Marissa: Happy Birthday (Kaitlin looks at Marissa and then looks down) Marissa: look Kaitlin I know you think I over reacted or whatever but, I mean Johnny's just (raises eyebrows) alot older than you and I don't wanna see you get hurt Kaitlin: (looks at Marissa) oh please, like that's really why you got mad Marissa: (looks at Kaitlin) uh what's that suppose'ta mean (Julie comes in from outside, dressed in a sporty outfit. she's breathless) Julie: oo, hey, oh look at that, my two little girls or, should I say two young women (to Kaitlin) Happy Birthday sweetie (Kisses Kaitlin's cheek and half hugs her) mwah, oh Kaitlin: (screws up face) oh gross mom, you're all sweaty Julie: (wipes mouth) oh I know, I'm sorry I was running, you know after years of doing cardio-barre an yoga-lates I forgot how good this feels, I got three honks! Marissa: (raises eyebrows, almost disturbed) that's great mom (Kaitlin is standing at the sink with her back to Julie and Marissa, playing with her breakfast) Julie: ok so tonight, not only have I planned am amazing dinner but Dr. Roberts said that we could have it at his house Marissa: whoa Dr. Roberts offered you his house (moves to the counter so Julie can open the fridge) Julie: yeah well I-I ran into him yesterday an I mentioned that it was Kaitlin's birthday an whala he couldn't take no for an answer (smiles) he's so generous, whoever gets him is a very lucky woman Kaitlin: (looks at Julie) you know I don't want a birthday dinner Julie: (swallows water) what're you talking about, he even said that we could watch The Sound Of Music on his plasma Kaitlin: maybe next year Julie: (looks at Kaitlin) oh honey I am so sorry that I forgot your birthday (Kaitlin looks away) ever since Caleb's death things have been a little crazy...but we really need this, as a family (Kaitlin looks at her) please Kaitlin: (looks at Marissa then Julie) only if I can invite a friend Marissa: (frowns) no! (Julie looks at her) I mean isn't it better if it's just our family an the Roberts Julie: well its Kaitlin's birthday she can have whoever she wants (gasps) oh maybe we should invite your old friends from the equestrian club Kaitlin: sure (smiles, looks at Marissa almost smugly) sounds great, bye Julie: ok, bye honey (kisses Kaitlin's cheek) (Kaitlin leaves) Julie: oh Marissa I'm gonna need you ta help me set up (Marissa looks at her) please I need to make this up ta Kaitlin Marissa: fine (rolls eyes) Julie: ok thanks (kisses Marissa cheek) oh sorry about the sweat (wipes Marissa's cheek) (Marissa half smiles and rubs her cheek. Julie goes out of the room) Julie: (sings off screen) I am sixteen going on seventeen CUT TO: Cohen backyard - Ryan is sitting in the doorway by the pool reading. Kaitlin walks in the other door Kaitlin: knock knock Ryan: (looks up) hey Kaitlin: (picks up photo) hm you an Marissa, looks like the perfect couple (we see that it's an early photo of Ryan and Marissa together on the beach) you know people use'ta say that about her an Luke (Ryan stands and takes the photo from Kaitlin) Kaitlin: life's weird huh Ryan: yeah, what's up (puts photo back) Kaitlin: I need your advice, my moms throwing a party for me tonight, of course your invited (Ryan looks at her) but d'you think that Marissa would mind if I invited Johnny Ryan: no, why would she mind Kaitlin: well, she seemed a little weird when she saw us together last night, but there just friends so (frowns) why would it matter if we're hanging out if (raises eyebrows) there just friends Ryan: Kaitlin what're you tryin'a do Kaitlin: jus make everybody happy, I told you Ryan: cause it seems like your mad at Marissa an your (sighs) I don't know your lookin for a way to hurt her Kaitlin: what're you talking about, Marissa's my sister an I love her Ryan: then why don't you talk to her instead'a tryin'a stir something up (Kaitlin looks at him and blinks, Ryan raises his eyebrows at her) Kaitlin: you know I'm sad that you feel that way, but Johnny's my friend an I want him at my party (Ryan looks at her) its jus that look on her face when she saw us together, but I don't have'ta tell you about that do I (Ryan blinks) see ya tonight (Kaitlin leaves and Ryan stands there) CUT TO: Roberts' house - Julie and Kirsten are inside together preparing for the party. Julie is arranging flowers and Kirsten is doing something with a tray of food Julie: thank you so much for your help Kiki, god knows I have my talents cooking is not one of them Kirsten: well it was nice of Neil ta lend you his house Julie: (smiles) yes he is a gentleman Kirsten: is he (looks at Julie) Julie: Kirsten please, we've hardly had a real date we haven't even kissed Kirsten: but he offered his house for Kaitlin's birthday, id say that's a good sign Julie: it is a beautiful house, although I was thinking you could change out the marble in the entrance hall an some of the furniture- Kirsten: Julie (Julie looks at her) since you haven't kissed yet you might wanna hold off on the redecorating Julie: oooh yeah, jus making conversation Kirsten: (nods) should I take this out Julie: yeah, please (Kirsten leaves with the tray of food. Julie touches the flowers a little and then picks up a gorgeous silver tea pot and smiles) CUT TO: The pier - Sandy and Matt are at a stand getting Churros for themselves and Bill Sandy: here you go, Newport's finest Churro (holds one out to Bill) Bill: (smiles) thanks Sandy, I don't remember the last time I walked this much Sandy: well, the hospital would service a wide variety'a neighbourhoods I wanted you to get a sense of that Bill: (nods, eating Churro) mission accomplished Sandy: an I told you how the free clinic might operate Bill: twice, but if you don't mind I think I need a little break from the hospital (Bill walks away, Matt goes over to Sandy) Sandy: alright (Matt looks) we're losin him (nods) let's do it your way Matt: yeah, you sure Sandy: the truth is the tour worked more on me than it did on him, I'm not gonna rob this community of somethin it needs just...just so I can sleep easier, so come on, Bill (Bill looks at him) its almost dinner time, where would you like to go CUT TO: Roberts' backyard - we see Kaitlin swimming underwater in the pool. with the black bikini she is wearing it borders on sexy Kaitlin: (surfaces) Marissa you should come in, the waters great (we can now see that Marissa is putting out food near the pool) Marissa: yeah id love to but I'm helping set up for your party Kaitlin: an I'm so grateful (Kaitlin gets out of the pool. Marissa watches her) Julie: (calls) Marissa, Kaitlin look whose here (points to Neil behind her) Marissa: (waves) hi Dr. Roberts Neil: hey Marissa (Kaitlin wraps a towel around herself) Julie: Kaitlin, don't you think you should say thank you for Dr. Roberts' hospitality Kaitlin: oh (smiles) thank you so much for letting me use your house for my party Neil: you are so welcome (Johnny comes out) Kaitlin: Johnny (goes over, drops towel) you came (hugs Johnny) (Marissa walks by with a bunch of balloons) Julie: oh my little girl is growing up Marissa: yeah an she wants everyone ta see it too (Neil smiles) Kaitlin: oh mom this is Johnny Julie: of course (points) this is Dr. Roberts, this is his house Neil: hey Johnny (shakes Johnny's hand) Johnny: nice to meet you, hey Marissa Marissa: (fixing balloons) hi Kaitlin: oh look I got you all wet (rubs towel on Johnny's chest) I'm sorry Marissa: (looks at Kaitlin) I'm gonna go uh see if Kirsten (points) needs help (Marissa leaves. Julie looks at Neil. Neil has a half smile) CUT TO: Seth's bedroom - the shot we first see is of his open window from the outside. we see smoke rising, the shot then changes and we can see that Seth is sitting against his wall under the window smoking a joint. he is looking very out of it. we hear a knock and Seth kind of comes out of his daydream Seth: come, ooh Ryan: (off screen, calls) Seth Seth: yes Ryan: hey man Seth: yes (we hear more knocking. Seth puts the joint out in an ashtray next to him on the floor) Seth: co-, gees man I'm (laughs) com- Ryan: (off screen) something's blocking the door Seth: ok (laughs) jus calm down (picks up ashtray and stands) I gotta get in right now, I'm coming I got (puts ashtray down on the desk and picks up air freshener) gotta do somethin real (covers ashtray with a book, softly) yeah that's perfect (Seth sprays the air freshener liberally around himself) Ryan: (off screen) what's that Seth: (puts can down) ok, god listen hey man (moves towel) I'm sorry there was a there was a (opens door) laundry build up right there, gees Ryan: well it's-it's it's almost three thirty isn't your interview at four Seth: what're you talking about (looks away) hey how'd that happen Ryan: well are you ready Seth: am I ready (Ryan nods) do me a favour (holds out arm) go ahead an feel that (rubs arm) feel that puppy right there Ryan: no no no I'm no, I'm not gonna Seth: ok, you don't wanna touch another man, I get it (Ryan frowns and sniffs the air) I get it, you find my slender swimmers body (sits on the bed) um intimidating Ryan: something smells Seth: (closes eyes) no it doesn't, no it doesn't but (puts his hand on his chin) they say the first sign of um a brain tumour is uh phantom smells so you should lie down (Ryan smells the air freshener) hey, hey (points, nods) you solved it you figured it out that's, your a mystery solver your like encyclopedia Brown (Ryan frowns) remember encyclopedia Brown, he went on down to Texas (Ryan looks at him then away) ta solve the mystery of the (touches chin) great shoot out hey how bout this for a change (Ryan sniffs more) how bout in a cage match encyclopedia Brown versus the great brain (looks at Ryan completely straight faced) ta the death Ryan: (looks at Seth) are you high Seth: (frowns, tries to be serious but ends up laughing) am I high, no, no come on man I love when you go for the comedy(Ryan looks at Seth and goes over to the desk) but I would not quit your day job beatin up uh people (Ryan moves the book off of the ashtray) Seth: I would (Ryan takes the ashtray with 2 joins in it over to Seth) Seth: (completely serious) I don't know how that got there (Seth looks up at Ryan, Ryan looks at him skeptically, lol. I just have to say Adam did an amazing job in this scene, I was lmao from the serious faces alone!) CUT TO: Harbor school - Summer is in the hall, her cell phone rings Summer: (answers) hello (we now see Ryan on the phone heading into the pool house with a coffee in one hand. we can also hear the shower running in the background) Ryan: hey Summer, are you at the interview yet Summer: um yeah, I'm about to go in Ryan: can you stretch yours out a little bit, Seth's gonna be late Summer: sure, what happened Ryan: uh I jus need'a bring him down ta earth a little, we'll be there as soon as we can ok Summer: ok, bye (hangs up) Ryan: (calls) Seth, hey man, got some coffee for ya, I want you to drink it ok Seth: (off screen) dude I am not stoned anymore Ryan: ok then uh why're you in my shower (the bathroom door opens and Ryan looks away quickly while handing Seth the coffee) Seth: whoa, how'd that happen Ryan: jus drink the coffee (shuts the door, looks away) (the next thing we see is Ryan pushing Seth in the hall at Harbor. Seth has his hands out sort of leaning back and Ryan has a hand on Seth's back pushing him forward. lol) Seth: dude alright I'm fine (Ryan sighs) the guys gonna think I'm Rupert the monkey boy Ryan: how long ya been doin this man Seth: ugh, god, its pot (moves away from Ryan so he's not supporting him anymore) Seth: aren't you over reacting a little bit Ryan: you were doing it alone an in secret it's a little bit different Seth: well this is the first time I swear Ryan: (raises eyebrows) an this is really just stress about leavin Seth: two years ago this miracle happened to me ok, you showed up an Summer started talking to me an my life changed (Ryan listens) an id be leavin that for some place new an (shrugs) it'd jus be really easy for things to go back to the way they were an I jus I cant do that Ryan: it wasn't a miracle (motions) your the one who got up on that coffee cart an told Summer you loved her (Seth looks down) you've changed I mean your gonna be fine wherever you go (Seth looks at him) now, tell me you weren't (screws up face) stupid enough to buy pot down at the pier cause you know half those guys are narcs right Seth: no it was nothin like that uh (Summer comes out of the interview) hey don't get her in trouble with Marissa but actually (softly) I got it from Kaitlin (Ryan looks at him) Summer: (softly) thank god (Ryan & Seth look) you guys d'you realise I have been in there (folds arms) for an hour an a half what took you so long Ryan: he jus needed to calm down (Summer frowns) why don't you head on in an just meet us at Summers when you're done Summer: yeah Seth: ok (Ryan touches his arm comfortingly) Summer: no pressure (Seth goes to kiss Summer but she keeps walking) but if you mess it up our future together is ruined (Ryan and Summer leave. Seth slowly walks towards the door but you guessed it, just before he is there he turns around and leaves. we then see the Brown guy in the room by himself) CUT TO: Roberts' backyard - now completely decorated for Kaitlin's party. we see balloons tied to a table full of presents, then we see a couple of random kids playing ball in the pool. some girls walking around. a couple of boys near a table. another kid near the drinks table by himself and then one of the boys in the pool hits the ball in the direction of Julie and Neil's table. Neil catches it and throws it back. we then see Johnny sitting on a pool lounge and Kaitlin is sitting with him. Marissa is sitting on the side of the hot tub by herself looking bored. Summer and Ryan walk over Ryan: hey Marissa: (smiles, stands) people I know (hugs Summer) hi (sits) after Kirsten left I had no one ta talk to (looks over at Johnny & Kaitlin) Summer: this is a good turn out though Marissa: yeah well my mom invited Kaitlin's old riding club (Summer nods) she probably shouldnt'a bothered Neil: Summer Summer: oh, scuse me you guys Ryan: yeah (Summer goes over to Julie and Neil) Neil: sweetheart how'd your interview go Summer: it went great (Ryan sits down next to Marissa) Ryan: you alright (Marissa watches as Kaitlin leads Johnny inside by the hand) Marissa: (looks at Ryan) yeah well, remember when I said I wanted to get to know Kaitlin (Ryan nods) be careful what you wish for Ryan: in that case there's uh something I should tell you about her an Seth (we now see the inside of Summers bedroom. Kaitlin comes in followed by Johnny. Kaitlin shuts the door) Johnny: uh, what're we doing here Kaitlin: I told you (sits on the bed) looking for my presents Johnny: your presents (rubs head) are all downstairs Kaitlin: (looks at Johnny, shakes head) not all of them Johnny: Kaitlin look I told you (looks away) Kaitlin: that your seventeen an that I'm fourteen, but I'm not fourteen anymore, remember Johnny: ok but look someone could come in we should jus Kaitlin: you wanna lock the door, what're you planning on doing to me (leans back on her arms, smiles) Johnny: very funny Kaitlin: or is it that your afraid that Marissa will come in (Johnny looks at her) she sees you with her little sister an then you really don't have a chance Johnny: what're you talking about Kaitlin: look (stands) you said that you liked me, an now we're only two years apart (Johnny looks at her) so unless there's something else Johnny: I'm not interested in Marissa alright Kaitlin: then prove it, one birthday kiss (smiles) (Johnny looks at Kaitlin and Kaitlin leans in and kisses him) Kaitlin: you know I think we'd better get back to the party (Kaitlin smiles and walks passed him, Johnny laughs a little - the next thing we see is Marissa looking for Kaitlin and Ryan with her) Marissa: you can't stop me, I've let this go far enough Ryan: (sighs, holds Marissa's arm) listen Marissa look I know you need to talk to her but it's your sister it's still her birthday party (Seth comes over. he looks higher than before) Seth: hey (Ryan & Marissa look) I'm back, from (points) my interview for Brown, which I went to (nods) Ryan: ok (Marissa glares at Seth with her hand on her hip) Seth: you told her didn't you, ok first of all (shakes head) don't blame Kaitlin (Kaitlin and Johnny come down the stairs) Kaitlin: fat chance of that Marissa: (looks at Kaitlin) where have you ben Kaitlin: oh Johnny gave me my present (smiles) (Ryan and Marissa both look away. Marissa follows them Kaitlin and Johnny. Ryan looks at Seth about to say something) Seth: (brings finger to mouth, closes eyes) shhhhh (Ryan leaves. Seth opens his eyes with a straight face) CUT TO: Matt's apartment - Sandy is making some drinks while Matt, Bill and a few girls that Matt knows are sitting together. Matt goes over to Sandy Matt: so (raises eyebrows) looks like Lilly an Bill are hittin it off Sandy: yeah I balked at takin him out to dinner but I'm totally cool about turnin your apartment into the Playboy ground hall? Bill (hands Bill drink) here you go Bill: thanks Sandy Sandy: (to Lilly) dry martini for you Lilly Bill: I gotta tell ya I'm glad I didn't go home Lilly: (smiles) so am I Sandy: well this may not seem fair but I think I'm gonna have'ta talk to you a little bit more about the hospital Bill: Sandy that won't be necessary (to the girls) excuse me, please (Sandy and Bill move away from the girls) Bill: I'm in Sandy: (suprised) your in Bill: honestly I didn't see the difference between the proposals (Sandy looks at him) your tryin'a take care'a me the least I can do is take care'a you, I mean that's business huh (picks up drinks) Caleb would'a been proud Bill: (in the background) a martini, an scotch for the lady (Matt goes over to Sandy) Matt: so what'did he say Sandy: we got the hospital Matt: really Sandy: really Matt: Sandy (touches Sandys arm) that's amazing (Sandy looks as though he's torn between being happy for the result, or being mad at himself for doing business like Caleb) Bill: (in the background) so where do we go to have fun around here (the girls laugh. Sandy cringes and drinks) CUT TO: Roberts house - Kaitlin and Johnny are walking down the front stairs. Marissa comes out the front door Marissa: where are you going Kaitlin: leaving, would you tell mom Marissa: your leaving your own birthday party (Kaitlin looks away) (to Johnny) I need to talk to my sister Johnny: listen Marissa Marissa: look I really don't feel like hearing it right now (Johnny nods and walks away) Marissa: (moves closer to Kaitlin) what's wrong with you Kaitlin: heeere we go Marissa: Kaitlin, you gave Seth pot, you stole money from a fraternity I don't even know who you are anymore Kaitlin: d'you wanna jus spare me the concerned sister bit, we both know this is about Johnny Marissa: ...you don't know what you're talking about Kaitlin: look Marissa anyone can tell that you like him, you don't think Ryan can Marissa: I love Ryan Kaitlin: yeah you love Ryan you guys are soul mates blah blah blah, it doesn't mean that you don't like Johnny Marissa: I don't (raises eyebrows) Kaitlin: really, well then you wouldn't mind that I just made out with him upstairs (Marissa is stunned) yeah, you may not know me but I do know you (Marissa looks at Kaitlin, shocked. we hear the car start and Kaitlin walks away. Marissa stands there as they drive away - inside Ryan goes over to Marissa) Ryan: hey there you are, you alright Marissa: no, it's Kaitlin (Julie and Neil are in the same room over at the bar with the birthday cake) Julie: hey Marissa honey where's Kaitlin (points) its time for the cake Marissa: she's gone Julie: what, what'do you mean she's gone, of course she's not gone I mean she wouldn't jus leave her own party (Neil watches) Marissa: yeah well we got into a fight Julie: (looks at Marissa) you got in a fight at her birthday party, what about Marissa: (upset) look uh I don't wanna go into it ok Julie: how could you do this to your little sister Marissa (Marissa scoffs, Ryan frowns) d'you even know what she's been through being away for so long, this was a very important birthday for her for all of us Marissa: look mom no offense but I don't think a party's really gonna fix this family (Neil looks down) Julie: excuse me (Marissa looks over at Neil and then Julie) Marissa: (sighs) you know I should jus go ok I'm sorry I'm (waves) bye Dr. Roberts Ryan: ill take you home Marissa: no I...I wanna walk, I need the fresh air &

Plan: A: Marissa; Q: Who tries to rebuild her relationship with Kaitlin? A: Kaitlin; Q: Who teaches Seth an alternative stress reliever? A: Matt; Q: Who does Sandy work with to secure a contract for the new hospital? A: Julie; Q: Who is determined to bring her family together? Summary: Marissa tries everything she can to rebuild her relationship with Kaitlin, who teaches Seth an alternative stress reliever. Sandy and Matt work together to secure a contract for the new hospital. Meanwhile, Julie is determined to bring her family together.

[Act One] [Scene One - Café Nervosa. Niles is in a cue at the counter. A man is in front ordering as three waiters work] Customer: Half caff latte, please. Waiter 1: [shouts] Half caff latte! Waitress: [shouts] Half caff latte! Waiter 2: [shouts] Half caff latte! [A coffee is made and handed to the customer] Niles: [now first in cue] I rather like this new system, it's lively. Waiter 1: Well, it's more efficient. What can I get for you? Niles: I'll have a double shot, low fat, no foam latte. Waiter 1: [shouts] Double shot, low fat, no foam latte! Waitress: [shouts] Double shot, non fat, low foam latte! Waiter 2: [shouts] Double shot, non fat, no foam latte! Niles: Excuse me, I think there was a problem in the chain of command, the middle person reversed part of it. She said, "A double shot, non fat, low foam latte". Waiter 1: [shouts] Double shot, non fat, low foam latte! Waitress: [shouts] Double shot, non fat, low foam latte! Waiter 2: [shouts] Double shot, non fat, no foam latte! Niles: No, it happened again, that's not what I want. Waiter 2: Well, you can tell her youself. Niles: [to waitress] All right, I'll have a double shot, low fat, no foam latte. Waitress: [shouts] Double shot, low fat, no foam latte. Waiter 2: [shouts] Double shot, low fat, no foam latte. Nutmeg? Waitress: [shouts] Nutmeg? Waiter 1: [shouts] Nutmeg? Niles: No thanks. It inflames my stomach lining. Waiter 1: [shouts] Inflames his stomach lining! Waitress: [shouts] Inflames his stomach lining! Waiter 2: [shouts] Inflames his stomach lining! Niles: Stop that! [Niles takes his coffee to his table as Frasier enters and sits with him. Frasier is weating a bulky red raincoat] Frasier: Hello, Niles. Niles: Welcome back. I trust you and Samantha had a pleasant weekend? Frasier: Oh, God, it was fabulous. We stayed at this gorgeous cabin just outside Aspen, we took a chopper every morning to the top of the mountain, God, I just didn't want it to end. Niles: That would explain why you're still wearing that ridiculous jacket in an over heated café. Frasier: Oh, well, in Aspen they all wear them indoors. Oh, God, the funniest thing happened in the lodge last night. Jack Nicholson and Tom Brokaw discovered they were wearing exactly the same jacket. [laughs] So they staged a mock fight. Suddenly, Donna Karen flew between them pretending to referee, I laughed so hard I nearly spilled my toddy on someone named Puff Daddy. [The waitress comes over] Waitress: Can I get anything for you? Niles: Just a dustpan and broom to sweep up some of these names! Frasier: Cappucino, please. [Waitress goes back] Frasier: Oh, by the way, Niles. Do we have plans for tonight? Niles: Yes, why? Frasier: Well, I'm afraid I have to cancel. It's my one month anniversary with Sam, I'd like to take her to L'escalias for dinner. Niles: I understand, of course. One month is quite a milestone, thanks for the reminder - I need to change my water filter. [sips coffee] Damn, they put nutmeg on this! Frasier: Oh, speaking of Meg. Meg Ryan told me the most delightful story about practical joke Tony Hopkins played on Jodie at the ramp party for the "Lambs". Niles: My stomach lining is just not going to get a break today, is it?! IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME... NO, IT'S YOU [Scene Two - Restaurant. Frasier is sat at the table as Sam arrives] Sam: Look, I'm sorry I was late, Frasier. Frasier: Oh, gosh, no, no, that's all right. I took the liberty of ordering us the "Taste Of Monaco" dinner. Sam: Oh, good choice. Frasier: As I recall, that's what you ordered on our first date. Course, it wasn't food that you were craving that night. You whisked me away back to my place before the crab cakes could even arrive. You know, there's no better way to celebrate an anniversary than with a historical re-enactment. I've got my costume on underneath! Sam: Actually, I'm really looking forward to those crab cakes. Frasier: Oh, great, well, yes, yes, I suppose we should try the food here once. [laughs] Well, be sure to leave some room, you're bound to find a little Frasier-mint on your pillow when we get home! [laughs] By the way, thanks again for this weekend. Sam: You're welcome. Frasier: You know, it's funny, I think it was a real turning point for us... well, for me. You see, I was so relaxed! At the beginning of relationships usually I-I'm very tentative. I just have this dark fear that I'm about to be cut loose. [laughs] Sam: Frasier... Frasier: Oh, I know, I know. I'm just being so insecure, it's nice to know that I'm on solid ground. Sam: Um, Frasier... Frasier: I'm standing on quicksand, aren't I? Sam: I didn't want to talk about this until later... Frasier: Oh my God! Sam: I was just... It's not working out between the two of us. Now, it's not you, it's me. I just don't feel the same way about us anymore. Frasier: But things were going so well. What happened? Sam: Oh, nothing happened. We had a wonderful time together, Frasier, it's just run its course. I'm sorry. Frasier: Oh, well, I'm sorry too. Sam: I hope we can still be friends. Frasier: Oh, yes, I'd like that too. Well, you know, seeing as we're friends and all, I suppose there's no reason we shouldn't stay and enjoy what's sure to be a splendid meal. Sam: Absolutely. Frasier: Great. [There is a eerie silence until the waiter arrives] Waiter: Your first course. [puts them down] Frasier: Ah, thank you. Tell me, how many more courses are there? Waiter: Six, sir. Frasier: Could you bring those all at once? [Scene Three - Frasier's Apartment. Daphne and Martin are eating breakfast. Daphne is reading the newspaper] Daphne: Good Lord! Martin: What? Daphne: Look at this headline. [Daphne passes over the paper] Martin: [reads] "Martin Crane Dead". Wu-hu-oo! Bet you don't need much coffee after that! Gee, fifty eight, poor guy, hardly had a life. Daphne: Handsome fellow, though. Martin: Yeah, multi-millionaire, decorated war hero, wrote a spy novel. [reads] "Survived by his wife, Florence, former Miss. Washington and two sons, Joe, a Marine Corps colonel, and the professional baseball player, Mickey Crane". [puts paper down] Nothing like starting the day off jealous of a dead guy! [Frasier enters, wearing his lazy clothes, carrying a box] Frasier: Oh, hello all. [they greet him] Daphne: You were up and out early today. Frasier: Yes, well, I thought like taking a walk. I've got a lot on my mind, I picked up some pastry. [puts it down and sits] Daphne: Well, whatever it is, you'll cheer up when you see these photos from your ski weekend. I admit, I took a peek. [hands them over] I must say, this Sam of yours is quite a catch. She's gorgeous, smart, stylish... Frasier: We broke up last night! [discards photos] Daphne: Orange juice, anyone? [Daphne exits to the kitchen] Martin: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Fras'. Frasier: Oh, it's all right. It was a mutual decision. Well, a little more mutual on her part than mine. Once she dumped me, I jumped right on board. Anyway, I'll be fine, dad. Martin: Well, that's the spirit, just put it all behind you. [Daphne enters] Frasier: Exactly. But I must admit, I'm having a little difficulty achieving closure. See, Sam said that her feelings changed for no reason! Can't help it might have been something specific about me! Martin: Now, hold on, don't try to make this your fault! Daphne: Yeah, she's probably telling the truth. If a woman's trying to spare your feelings, she'll give you the old, "It's not you, it's me". Frasier: That's exactly what she said! Daphne: Waffles, anyone? [Daphne exits to kitchen] Martin: Now, you know, Fras', I know you're always looking for an explanation for everything but sometimes there isn't one. Frasier: Yeah, I know dad. It's gonna just drive me crazy. You know, until I know why it ended, I'll just assume it was any number of things about me. My self confidence will be shattered. Martin: Well, you've got two choices here. You can spend days trying to figure it out until it drives you nuts or you can do the smart thing, make a clean break, never talk to her again, and get on with your life. [There's a pause whilst Frasier considers this] Frasier: You're right, dad, that's exactly what I should do. Thank you. Martin: No problem. Frasier: You know, sometimes you're very insightful. Martin: Well, I've been around the block a few times. [pause] So, when are you going to go talk to her? Frasier: Right after my waffles. [Martin nods after knowing his son for so long as Frasier reads the paper] [Scene Four - Outside The King's Crown Court. Frasier is sat on the steps reading his paper as Sam comes out of the building] Frasier: Sam, Sam, what are the chances?! You've found my thinking place! Sam: Frasier, listen, I'm ten minutes late for a deposition. Frasier: Well, we can walk and talk. Sam: All right. [They start walking] Frasier: Look, you know, I'm loving this new arrangement of ours, I think we being friends thing is going to work out great. Sam: Uh, listen, could you pick up the pace a little? [Sam starts walking faster, Frasier can barely keep up] Frasier: Right. So, how've you been? Sam: Frasier, I just saw you last night. Frasier: So you did, and now that you bring up last night... God, you do walk fast... Er, I'm looking for a little clarification. Sam: I told you this has nothing to do with you. Frasier: Yes, but it seems highly unlikely that such a sudden change could have nothing to do with me. I mean, maybe it is something that I did unintentionally. [bumps into someone] I'm sorry, my fault. [moves on] You know, something this weekend, maybe? I know I played the piano in the lounge a little too long but who knew General Schwartzkopf was so crazy for show tunes! Sam: Frasier, there's nothing I'm not telling you. Sometimes things just end. Please, try to not take it so personally. Frasier: All right. Sam: Right, I really am late, I'll talk to you soon, okay? Frasier: Take care. [Sam leaves as Frasier looks after her. He turns around and bumps into a man carrying some groceries] Frasier: Oh... Man: What's the matter with you? Frasier: That's just it. I don't know! [End of Act One] [Act Two] [Scene One - Frasier's Apartment. Martin is searching the living room as Niles and Daphne are chatting] Niles: Where is Frasier? He knows we have "Berveda's", if you're late they give away your table and make you sit in the kitchen with the owner's mother. Martin: What the hell did I do with that remote? Daphne, are you sure you haven't seen it? Daphne: Positive. Martin: They ought to make one with a sensor on it. You get more than twenty feet from the TV, it senses it and starts beeping. Maybe for a deaf person they could make one that has purple smoke coming out of it like some kind of flare system or something. [Daphne suddenly holds Martin's face and stares him in the eyes] Daphne: Mr. Crane, I'm begging you, you've got to get out of the house more! [Frasier then enters] Frasier: Hello all. Oh, Niles, what a pleasant surprise. Niles: Just what Momma Bervada will say when we pull up a chair! Frasier: Oh, that's right, dinner, I completely forgot. I took a long walk after work, I'm sorry, Niles. It must have completely slipped my mind. Niles: Yes, well, "Bervada's" out now. I take it you're still consumed with the Sam situation. Frasier: I was just trying to figure out what happened. Niles: The relationship ended, that's what happened. Frasier: But there's got to be a reason! [Martin then enters with a broom and sits down. He starts to trying to change the channel with it] Niles: See, you're fixated. Frasier: I am not fixated! [pointing at Martin] That is fixated! Dad, what the hell are you doing? Martin: Oh, this is stupid! Maybe if I stick together ten chopsticks and put a rubber tip on the end for gripping. [Martin exits to the kitchen as the doorbell sounds. Frasier answers it to Roz] Frasier: Oh, hello. Roz: Hi. Daphne: I'll be ready in a sec, Roz. [Daphne leaves to her bedroom] Roz: [calls] Oh, it's all right, the movie doesn't start till eight. Frasier: Oh, yes, that's right, I forgot you two had plans. Come on in, Roz. You know, I was wondering... Roz: No! I don't know why Sam broke up with you, okay? Just like I didn't know two hours ago. Just like Gil and Bulldog and Miss. Judy from the Arts & Crafts hour didn't know! Frasier: It never hurts to ask. Miss. Judy had some real insights before she had to make her popsicle stick run. [Martin enters from the kitchen as Daphne enters from her room] Martin: I think I'll go to Duke's, watch the game there. Frasier: Oh, wait, wait, everybody, before you scatter. I'd like to ask an enormous favour. In the spirit of, well, self- improvement. I'd like you to tell me in your own words just what exactly about me you find unloveable. [The rest refuse and begin to leave] Frasier: Wait! Wait, my God, it's really for the sake of our future relationships. I mean, it just, I know that you're afraid to hurt my feelings but I can stand a little constructive criticism. Now, come on, please, what do you think are my main faults? Martin: Well, let's start with what you're doing now. You analyse everything to death. Sam said it wasn't your fault but you keep digging around and digging around until you drive everybody nuts. Frasier: [writing in pad] Okay. Dad thinks I am over analytical. That's great, we've got the ball rolling, okay, who's next? Niles? Niles: I'm sorry, I'm not entirely sure how useful this exercise is. Frasier: Niles, I don't care how you feel about it, you're going to participate! Niles: Pushy. Frasier: Well, yes, if that's what it takes to... [realises] Oh, thank you. [writes it] All right, Daphne, it's your turn, don't be shy. Daphne: Well, if I had to choose, I'd say you are a bit of a fuss budget. Frasier: Fuss budget! Well, listen, if you don't mind the substitution, I think maybe "demanding" is more the mot juste. Daphne: Pretentious. Frasier: Right, you see, this is very good. Roz, you must have something? Roz: Well, you are a little full of yourself. Frasier: Great. Okay, pompous. Roz: And you do tend to ramble on with the callers. Frasier: [writing] A tad loquacious. Martin: Pretentious. Frasier: Dad, I all ready wrote that down. Martin: Underline it! [Frasier writes it in] Niles: Oh, snippy. Daphne: Sarcastic. Martin: Bossy. Niles: Huffy. Roz: Vain. [They all start talking to each other about how each one's true until Frasier stops them] Frasier: Oh, how nice we've finally found an activity we all enjoy together! Roz: Oh, come on, Frasier, why don't you just admit what you're doing here. This isn't some "help-me-be-a-better-person" thing. You're trying to figure out what you can fix so you can win Sam back. Frasier: Oh, now, Roz, that's proposterous. Roz: Look who you're talking to! I've been down this road so many times, I call it "The Roz Expressway". Niles: I've heard that phrase before but in a slightly different context. [Roz gives a sharp look as Niles goes off to pour a sherry] Frasier: Well, all right, maybe there is some truth in what you say, I mean, after all, Sam is really quite a catch, why wouldn't I want to get her back? Roz: But you shouldn't change yourself just to please her. It's not healthy, and it doesn't work, and if it did, Steve Wilson would be my husband and not just some name tattoed on my butt! Daphne: If you want my advice; the best thing you can do is nothing. Just leave her be to think about what she's missing out on. Roz: I totally agree. No candy, no flowers and what ever you do, don't call. Frasier: Well, I don't see anything wrong with keeping the lines of communication open. Roz: Oh God, you called didn't you? Frasier: Well, maybe I left a carefully worded message. Roz: Oh, Frasier, you never call somebody who's broken up with you. It makes you look desperate. Frasier: Well, I didn't have any choice, she wouldn't return any of my pagers! [realises] Oh God, I've blown it haven't I? Daphne: Well, that depends. What did you say in your message? Frasier: Well, nothing undignified. Of course, tone of voice is everything, isn't it? You know, maybe I should just play them for you. Roz: Wait, you have her access code for her answering machine? Frasier: Yes, luckily I set it up with her. I gave her an access code that would be easy to remember - my birthday. Martin: What's so easy about May 7th? Frasier: I wouldn't know, dad, my birthday's in March! Martin: Oh, that's right. The seventh, that's Eddie! [Frasier keys in the machine] Frasier: Okay, okay, here we go. All right, now, listen and tell me if you think I sound desperate. [The machine beeps] Secretary: [v.o] Hi, Sam. Two quick things - dinner at L'escalias is not at 8:30 and the judge needs to see you at nine tomorrow morning and not ten. Bye. Niles: I didn't get desperate, I got feminine! Frasier: Shut up, Niles! [The machine beeps] Frasier: [v.o] Hello, Sam, it's Frasier. Give me a call, if you get a chance. Bye. Daphne: You don't sound desperate at all. [The machine beeps] Frasier: [v.o] Hi, Sam, I forgot to mention I'll be at the office. Call me. It's Frasier. Niles: Well, maybe just a whiff of desperation. [The machine beeps] Frasier: [v.o] Hi, I'm at the office now. [The machine beeps] Frasier: [v.o] Still at the office. [The machine beeps] Frasier: [v.o] I stepped out to the coffee machine. Thought I might have missed you. Niles: How quickly a whiff becomes a stench! [The machine beeps] [Frasier's voice comes through the machine as he switches it off] Frasier: You know, they just get worse after that. Martin: There's more? Frasier: Yes. [presses button] Not anymore though. There, messages erased. Roz: Hey, your messages were not the only ones on there. What about the one from her secretary about the meeting with the judge? Frasier: Oh, my God, you're right. That did sound important. Roz: So, what are you going to do about it? Frasier: Well, I guess I could just call back and leave a message saying that I inadvertantly erased the message of hers while I was erasing a bunch of other messages that I left earlier. Roz: With her secret access code! Frasier: [realising] Right! Oh, God, this is humiliating. Martin: Now, Frasier, I hate to appear unsupportive, but I've got to get to Duke's for the game. Roz: Yeah, and we're going to be late for that movie. Daphne: Oh, wait, I forgot my purse. [Daphne goes to get purse from kitchen] [SCENE_BREAK] Martin: Oh, don't worry about it Frasier. You'll be fine, you'll bounce back. You're tough. Roz: And resourceful. Niles: Resilient. Martin: Optimistic. Niles: Tenacious. Daphne: Conceited. Martin: Different list, Daph'! [Daphne, Martin and Roz leave the apartment as Frasier sits at the table with Niles. He looks at the photos] Frasier: It's hard to believe this picture was taken only three days ago. Look at us. How happy I was. Now, I'll never see her again. Niles: Aren't you over dramatising? You're bound to run into her now and then. Frasier: No, I was talking about me and Lesley Stahl. Niles: You know, looking at these photos, I can't help noticing there are very few of you and Sam together. Frasier: What are you getting at? Niles: Well, I'm just wondering how much you really feel for this woman? Frasier: Oh, don't be ridiculous, I haven't felt this way for ages. Niles: I'm sorry. I guess I was wrong. It's love then. [Niles pours a sherry] Frasier: Well, I don't know about love. We've only been seeing each other for a month. Niles: But you could see yourself falling in love with her? Frasier: Possibly. Niles: Some time down the line? Frasier: Yes, yes, perhaps. Niles: Well, no wonder you're heartbroken. You've just lost the only woman you could even possibly sometime down the line perhaps fall in love with. I'm surprised the country music people haven't jumped all over this one! Frasier: Oh, all right, so I don't rhapsodise about her. Niles: No, you did rhapsodise when she took you to "Le Cigare Volant" and you were seated in a secret VIP room we never knew existed. Frasier: What are you suggesting? That I'm so shallow I was with her mainly for her connections? Niles: I wouldn't put it as harshly as that but let's face it, ever since we were young, you've had a yearning to run with the cool kids and it's never worked out for you. Your one day on the football team? The summer you bought that motorcycle. Although, to be accurate... Frasier: Hey, it's only a moped if you pedal it and I never pedaled! Niles: I just wonder if what you're mourning is not so much the loss of Sam, it's the loss of her celebrity lifestyle. Frasier: I must admit things never did seem quite right between us. God, if it hadn't been for her friends, I probably would have broken it off myself. Oh, God, shame on me. Niles: Don't punish yourself, Frasier. At least you're deep enough to realise you're shallow. [pause] Dinner? Frasier: Let's. Niles: All right. Frasier: All though, I've still got to phone her about that message. Niles: Oh, you know what. Why don't we stop by "L'escalias" on our way to dinner. You can just run in and tell her in person. Frasier: Even better! God, Niles, I can't tell you helpful this has been. Really, how can I ever repay you? Niles: You can start by getting me into that VIP room in "Le Cigare Volant" - where is the entrance? [guesses] By the cigarette machine? Frasier: No, that's just a decoy. It's through the dry cleaner's next door. Niles: No. [Niles and Frasier exit] IF IT'S BARBRA, I'LL KILL MYESLF [Scene Two - Restaurant. Sam is sat at a table as Frasier enters to greet her] Frasier: Hello, Sam. Sam: Frasier. Frasier: I know you didn't expect to see me tonight. Sam: Well, of course after all the messages, I'm not totally surprised. Frasier: Oh God, you heard them? Sam: I checked my machine this afternoon. Frasier, I think we really need to talk. Frasier: No, no, we don't. I promise you I will never call you again. I've thought about this and believe me you made the right decision. Sam: No, no, I didn't. Frasier: Excuse me? Sam: Yes. Please, sit down. [he does] I was going to call you later anyway. You see, I think I figured out what happened between the two of us. I panicked. You see, I was starting to really care about you. I thought we might even have a future, even, and, well, it scared well. But the way you pursued me, showing up at the courthouse and leaving all of those messages and now you're here. Obviously, you feel just as strongly as I do. It's funny really. The both of us falling in love so fast and not realising the other one felt the same way. We should be laughing. [Frasier fakes a laugh and then tires] Frasier: Oh, listen, Sam... Sam: No, no, I'm going to tell you what we're going to be doing this weekend. We're taking the concord to London for a party at Alec Guiness' place. Frasier: I'm not so sure that... [realises] Sir Alec Guiness? Sam: Yes, well, I know it's a long way to go but Stephen is going to be there, he's promised to play some songs for the new one. Frasier: I don't know... [realises] Stephen Sondheim? Sam: Yes, oh, and you'll never guess who'll be singing with him. Frasier: [cringes] No, please don't tell me, please. Sam: Frasier, what is it? You seem upset. Frasier: Sam, I can't see you anymore. Sam: What? Frasier: I think you're an incredible woman but I've come to a realisation about us, well about me, and I just don't see any future for us. I know it sounds strange after the way I was pursuing you but I... I've been in it for all the wrong reasons. Sam: Like what? Frasier: Well, I'm not very proud of this, but maybe I was a little dazzled by the circle you travel in. Sam: So you were with me just so you could be around some famous people? Frasier: It's not as though I wasn't fond of you as well. Sam: Fond of me? Oh, well, thank you very much. Frasier: But I understand that you're upset and I'm just gonna go. Sam: I don't believe this... my friend! Frasier: I know it's shallow and it's something I'm going to have to work on. [Lesley Stahl walks up behind them and greets Sam] Lesley: Hi, Sam, how are you? Frasier: [star struck] Lesley, hello. Dr. Frasier Crane, we met this weekend. Lesley: Oh, are how you? Sam: What kind of sick b*st*rd are you? Frasier: Don't worry, we're just having a little bit of a spat. But, of course, I don't need to tell you, being the ace reporter that you are. Sam: Just get out of here right now! Frasier: Right, right, okay. [then to Leslie] Listen, if you're in town for a while, maybe we can have lunch? Sam: Get out! Frasier: What is the matter with me?! [Frasier goes up onto the balcony and looks back] Frasier: Lesley. [gestures towards her that he'll ring her] [Sam throws a bread roll at him and he runs out, scared by himself] [End of Act Two] [SCENE_BREAK] [Martin is sat watching the television in Frasier's apartment and decides he needs to change the channel. He picks up his invention from the side of his chair: lots of chopsticks tied together with a rubber tubing for gripping. This seems to be successful. Meanwhile, Daphne watches him and rolls her eyes. She puts away some magazines on to the shelf and finds the remote control. She decides to have a bit of fun and changes the channel back on the television. Martin, not realising Daphne found the remote, thinks there's something wrong with the television and changes it back. This carries on for a while until Martin just starts hitting the television with his invention]

Plan: A: Frasier; Q: Who is not convinced that Sam broke up with him? A: the glamorous lifestyle; Q: What has Frasier been enjoying sharing with Sam? A: Sam; Q: Who breaks up with Frasier over dinner? A: a weekend; Q: How long did Frasier and Sam spend in Aspen? A: their relationship; Q: What does Sam say has run its course? A: a while; Q: How long does Frasier agonize over what he did wrong? A: his character; Q: What does Sam dislike about Frasier? Summary: Frasier has been enjoying sharing the glamorous lifestyle that Sam leads, having just spent a weekend in Aspen . He is taken aback when Sam breaks up with him over dinner the following day. She insists that it is nothing to do with him; only that she feels their relationship has run its course. Frasier is not convinced, and for a while afterwards agonizes over what he did wrong, or what aspect of his character she disliked.

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Art: Drew Thompson pancaking into that driveway... that was the day cocaine came to Harlan county. Raylan: Where the hell is Drew Thompson? Boyd: What I want is for you to find out why our sales have dropped off. Johnny: This church is the reason. Billy: Why are you here, newcomers? You all come to watch the hillbilly with the snakes? Or did you come to be saved?! Boyd: "Do not believe every" "spirit, but test the spirits!" Everybody in that church was smiling ear to ear except for his sister. Now, we find out what it is she wants, and these floodwaters will recede. You're new around here. Folks bet less on fights between fighters they don't know. Randall: What, I got to fight again? [ Grunts ] Lindsey: In the right light, you could be considered attractive. [ Door opens ] Randall: I just need to have a quick word with my wife. Boyd: How come you don't keep the snakes in here to sleep? Cassie: Billy's room's warmer. Boyd: Oh, that's your brother's room, huh... The one you're sneaking out of in the dead of the night? Cassie: I sing hymns over him until his brain's quiet enough to let him rest. Boyd: So that's all you were doing in there... just tucking in your brother... him and all his serpents? Cassie: Way you riled him up, I'm surprised he got to sleep at all. Boyd: I came in here earlier tonight thinking that your brother was running his own show, thinking he was the man I needed to talk to if I was gonna have any peace. But it turns out that he's a true believer. But you... [ chuckles ] Why, you're the brains. Cassie: What's that? Boyd: What's it look like? Cassie: Like the 30 pieces of silver the High Priest Caiaphas gave to Judas Iscariot. Boyd: Well, think of it as a donation from a concerned parishioner who'd like to see your brother shift focus away from me and mine. Cassie: I'm afraid you've misjudged me, Mr. Crowder. I would never tell my brother how to spread the good word. Boyd: How about where to spread it? Cassie: Now, that's a different conversation. It's a more expensive one. Boyd: It's good to know we both speak the same tongues. The thing is... I don't get shaken down. Cassie: Don't think of it as a shakedown. Billy deserves a pulpit that can't be folded up and put in the back of a truck. You want us gone, you're gonna have to build us a place to go. Boyd: Well, then, ma'am, I apologize for simply wasting your time. Cassie: I know why you keep misjudging us. Boyd: Do tell. Cassie: Unlike the rest of these sorry souls around here... we're not afraid of you. Boyd: Well, in that case, ma'am, I think we've misjudged each other. Lindsey: You awake? Raylan: I am now. Lindsey: Since when do you sleep in your clothes? Raylan: Couldn't figure out a way to keep a gun in my undershorts. Lindsey: Since when do you sleep with a gun? Raylan: Since I found out the woman I've been seeing has a husband I couldn't knock down with a hammer. Lindsey: He's not my husband anymore. Raylan: I ain't asking. Lindsey: I'm telling you. I divorced him when he got put away this last time. Raylan: I had him pegged as a con. That, or maybe a fighter. Lindsey: Actually, he's both. I mean, fighting's his real calling. We just never made much money at it. Raylan: How did he make his money? Lindsey: The old-fashioned way. Raylan: He stole it? Lindsey: We stole it. Raylan: That's your deep, dark secret, huh? Lindsey: If it's not, I'd hate to think of what else I'd be hiding. Raylan: What was the deal? You guys picking pockets, robbing liquor stores? Lindsey: I'd get next to a guy, find out what he had worth taking, and Randall would take it. Raylan: Simple. Lindsey: Always figured the simpler we kept it, the less chance it'd go wrong. Raylan: But it did go wrong, huh? Lindsey: Yeah. [ Both chuckle ] And no. I mean, the scam itself was fine. The problem came when Randall decided he didn't like the idea these guys had been putting their hands on me, and... Ended up beating one half to death. Raylan: Which is why he went to prison and you didn't. Lindsey: Yeah. Raylan: Well... I know I feel better, knowing all this. Lindsey: You one of those guys who loses interest in a woman once he realizes she can't wear white to her wedding? Raylan: I'd like to think not. Lindsey: I was hoping if I came clean, you'd understand I reformed. Raylan: [ Chuckles ] Lindsey: Maybe even see your way clear to forgiving me my trespasses. Raylan: Yeah? I guess it just depends. Lindsey: On what? Raylan: How bad were you? Lindsey: I was pretty bad. Still am sometimes. Raylan: I guess the only question I'm still asking is if Randall beat the sh1t out of some guy for rubbing on you, how's he gonna react when he finds out what we've been doing? Lindsey: I'll tell you what I just told Randall. I don't owe him sh1t. So, do you think that you could forget about him just long enough that we could get back to what we were doing when he interrupted us? [ Belt buckle jingles ] Raylan: I can give it a shot. [SCENE_BREAK] Boyd: Carrot didn't work. Means it's time for the stick. [ Dog barking ] Aah! [ Rattling ] Aah! sh1t! Oww! Aah! Colton: Jimmy! [ Screaming ] Colton: Oh, sh1t. They're everywhere. sh1t! Colton: Jimmy, get out of there! [ Grunting ] [ Screaming ] [ Gunshots ] Colton: Jimmy. Jimmy! Stop firing! Aah! Aah! Colton: Jimmy, get up! [ Screaming ] [ Gunshot ] [ Screaming continues ] ♪ On this lonely road ♪ ♪ trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪ ♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I'm fighting for my soul ♪ ♪ God get at your boy ♪ ♪ you try to bogard ♪ ♪ fall back, I go hard ♪ ♪ on this lonely road ♪ ♪ trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪ ♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I see them long, hard times to come ♪ Colton: Boyd! Boyd: Did you send that preacher packing? Colton: [ Grunting ] [ Groaning ] Boyd: [ Groans ] Ava: What the hell happened? Colton: I think a snake bit him. Ava: Thank you. Boyd: Call Johnny. Tell him to get ahold of that doc he uses from physical therapy. Colton: Johnny's not answering. I tried him before I decided to come here. Boyd: Well, go find a doctor. Tell him to get ahold of some antivenom and bring his ass here! Colton: Where am I supposed to find a doctor? Ava: The free clinic in Evarts. Boyd: Go! [ Grunting ] Boyd: Hold on, son. You're lucky to be alive. Where the hell is Johnny? [ Indistinct yelling ] Raylan: Jesus. I hope that ain't necessary. Randall: She said I took her by surprise, showing up the way I did, and where am I staying? We got things to discuss. Raylan: I know, Randall. I was standing right next to her when she called you. Randall: Turns out she just needed to know where to send her big, bad deputy marshal. Raylan: Jesus. You living out of this locker? Showering here, sleeping in your car, something like that? Randall: Well, I was gonna try to sleep on the couch in Emanuel's office, but it turns out he's doing that himself. Raylan: Mm. Randall: Thinks sleeping in the gym will turn him into Cus D'Amato. You know who that is? Raylan: Where'd you do your bit... Glades? Randall: This last one... Okaloosa, mostly. Raylan: That's near Pensacola? Randall: Nicer than glades from the outside, but the tiers were sh1t. Raylan: I used to work out of the Miami office. Didn't get up north much. Randall: Yeah, I grew up down near glades... west of belle glade, out near Immolakee. Prefer it up north, though. Better class of people, by and large. Raylan: You, uh, move up north once you started fighting? Randall: You ever do any? Raylan: Boxing? Randall: Cage fighting. Raylan: Not lately. Randall: Nowadays, you want to compete with these guys, even as a puncher, you got to be able to know how to do that Brazilian stuff, maybe a little chop suey. I came at it way too late to develop any real technique. Raylan: That's why you're getting your stake together, get into fighter management. Get Lindsey to run the old scam, rip off some fella does backyard fights, name of Hoppus or Kopas? Randall: I guess she told you a lot, huh? Raylan: She told me a little bit. It was late. We were in my bedroom. So we didn't talk as much as we should've. Randall: I paid my debt. Hers, too, when you think about it. Raylan: You paid part of your debt. Randall: Not my fault the state can't afford to keep us. Raylan: No. We got to reserve space for the guys that pose a genuine danger to society. Randall: You read my jacket? Raylan: Know the part about your jacket that surprised me? Conditions of your release prohibit you from leaving the state of Florida. And yet, here you are. Randall: Gonna tell my p.O. On me. That's not so big and bad after all. Raylan: I tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give you till about... Well, let's say 6:00. Get your sh1t out of that locker and get your ass back on the road to Florida, or I'm gonna send you back. Up to you if it's in cuffs or a box. Randall: You read what I did to the last old boy tried to make time with my wife? Raylan: Skimmed it. Something about a coma. Randall: No, I marked him. Now, anytime anybody sees that little greaser gimp around, hears the punch-drunk way that he talks, what they're seeing and hearing is me. Raylan: Hmm. Randall: What I made him. So how about at 6:00 this P.M., I put a little limp in that Gary Cooper walk, write my name all over that pretty face of yours? How's that sound? Raylan: Sounds like we got a date. Art: Oh, come! Raylan: I'll come back. Art: No, Raylan. Join us. Raylan: It can wait. I'll just, uh... art: Raylan! Join us. Rachel here was just about to explain to me why she didn't call for backup while she was affecting the arrest of a violent fugitive. And I figure since that's your area of expertise, you could weigh in. Rachel: Like it says, by the time I made him, he was already standing over me. There was no way to call without him seeing. Art: You with us so far? Raylan: It's all very... but drew Thompson, Tim told me, come in... Art: She's after this Andre Devoe... Apparently goes to this diner whenever he wants to visit his mama. But she didn't actually make him until he was close enough to touch. Rachel: Yesterday, I went there looking for him. I went back this morning 'cause I liked the French toast. Art: And then, to make matters worse, she went to the ladies' room. Rachel: I was trying to get some distance so I could call it in. You should at least approve of that. Art: I'm supposed to approve of you trapping yourself in a confined space with one door and no windows. Rachel: How many times has Wyatt earp here put himself in positions like that and worse, and how many reprimands have you written him? Art: Oh, he's a lost cause. I still have some hope for you. What a good example you've set. Raylan: Drew Thompson? Art: Thompson's widow. Remarried six months after drew hit the side... I mean, didn't hit the sidewalk. Raylan: I knew what you meant. Art: That's why it took some doing to find her. Thought at first she might be in the wind with him... you know, just playing the grieving widow until the cops and the news people moved on to another story, and then fold up the tent and change her name. Raylan: That's actually a decent plan. Art: Thank you for saying so. Raylan: She still married? Art: Divorced. Why don't you and Tim ride down to Masterson station, see how she reacts to you un-breaking the news of drew's demise? Raylan: All righty. Art: Oh, and, Raylan? Raylan: Yes. Art: At the time of his death, drew Thompson was wanted in a sealed federal witness warrant. Raylan: What'd he witness? Art: Well, I don't know. That's what "sealed" means. Admit it... you're getting a little bit of a marshal stiffy yourself. Raylan: Maybe. If you get it unsealed. Art: Hoping for some movement on that later today. If my stiffy lasts much longer, I'm gonna have to consult my physician. What's your opinion? Raylan: On your stiffy? I don't have one. Art: No... on what's going on with Rachel. Raylan: If I had one, I sure as hell wouldn't tell the boss. Wynn: Mr. Crowder, I feel like I made it clear last time we were together. I'm not looking for a partner. Johnny: You made it clear that you weren't looking for a partner you can't trust. Wynn: I can trust you? Johnny: [ Chuckles ] Do you have any idea what Boyd would do to me if he knew I was here? Wynn: Unless he sent you. Johnny: He didn't. Wynn: Yeah. Well, comforting as that is, I keep remembering our mutual pal devil, who assured myself and Mr. Quarles that he could count on your support in his move against your cousin, and... I keep thinking, if that had worked out for him, we probably would've heard something by now. Johnny: Mr. Duffy? Wynn: Yeah. Johnny: I can walk with this cane, but it hurts. It's so much easier just to roll around in my damn chair. Boyd put me in that chair. Wynn: I always heard it was his daddy's shotgun that did that. Johnny: I was the heir apparent. Boyd has never been nothing but a Thorn in his daddy's fat ass. So, now, how is it that he's the one that's gonna get everything? Wynn: Boys. Would you excuse us? [ Doors open, close ] Mr. Crowder, as strange as this sounds... I want to believe you. Johnny: So, what if... I were to give him to you, serve him up? Wynn: When you say him, you mean... Johnny: Boyd. Wynn: Okay. And when you say "serve him up," you mean... Johnny: What if I were to help you kill him? [ Crying ] Um, I could... I could take him to an E.R., say I found him on the side of the road. Boyd: You're wasting time. Do it. Do you want a belt, son? All right. Open your mouth. [ Panting, crying ] [ Screams, crying ] Boyd: [ Exhales ] That's it. Tim: I got to admit, I was hoping she'd be out here when we pulled up, tell us that the spirits told her that we were coming. Raylan: Have you been drug tested lately? Tim: You didn't even open the file, did you? Raylan: I have a lot on my mind. Tim: Yeah. You hide it well. This woman has got 17 fraud arrests. Plus, the LPD's investigating a series of recent burglaries at the homes of several of her clients. Raylan: What does that mean, "clients"? Eve: Don't tell me why you're here. Raylan: Ma'am? Eve: The reason might be different than what you think, and I don't want you to confuse my reading. Tim: Well, actually, ma'am, I'm deputy marshal... Eve: Didn't I just say not to tell me? Tim: Yes. Eve: Please, come in. Raylan: She's a psychic. Tim: Uh, a certified spiritualist. Raylan: Certified by who? Eve: Y'all familiar with psychometry... Extra-sensory perception through physical contact? Raylan: I saw a movie once where Walken shakes Martin sheen's hand, sees him start world war III. Eve: You're a skeptic. Raylan: You get that a lot? Eve: I used to ask myself all the time if these feelings I got were real. And you know what I finally realized? People don't come see me because they want to make a connection with someone from the other side. They come to me for solace, and that's what I give them. Raylan: And they give you their life savings? Eve: That's why you're here... Because some ambitious prosecutor has decided yet again to charge me with theft by deception. Raylan: Actually, ma'am, marshals don't investigate theft of any kind. We chase fugitives, one of whom has led us here. Tim: You don't see him somewhere around us? Eve: Not so clearly. Raylan: Surprising, considering you used to be married to him. Eve: Oh, if you're looking for Bradley, then you should get ahold of that little whore that works in his office. Shouldn't be hard to find her number... Just go in any men's room. It'll be scrawled on the wall. Raylan: Bradley's your husband? Eve: Ex-husband. Raylan: We ain't looking for him. Eve: I don't understand. Tim: We're looking for your other husband. Raylan: Former husband. Eve: Drew's dead. Raylan: Well, you may be more qualified to know that. All we know for certain is his body didn't hit that street in corbin. Tim: He may be dead some other way. Raylan: Have you been in touch with drew in the last 30 years? Tim: Would you happen to have any photos of him? Eve: No. Packed them all away. They got lost in one of the moves. Raylan: Any reason to believe he could be alive? If he is, some bad people are looking for him. First place they may come is here. Eve: I see so much death around you. Both of you. Raylan: Ma'am, we don't have time for this. Eve: You're doing something later today, something you know you shouldn't. But you're gonna do it anyway. Tim: He does something stupid every day. Can you be a little more specific? Eve: You're meeting someone, someone bad. Raylan: I meet bad people for a living. Eve: This is personal. Some... weightlifter? Fighter? Raylan: How'd you do that? Tim: What? Raylan: I'm meeting Lindsey's ex-husband later. Tim: Lindsey has an ex-husband? Raylan: Apparently. Tim: Where you meeting him? Raylan: His gym. Tim: What gym? Raylan: That boxing gym over on the east side. Showtime's at 6:00 P.M. Are we all finished here? What? [SCENE_BREAK] Tim: He circled twice before he pulled in. Now he's just sitting there with the motor off. Eve: Who's sitting where? Raylan: Eve, you know that man? Eve: I've never seen him before. Raylan: You got a room in this house without windows? Eve: Half-bath. Raylan: Go there. Tim: It'll be all right. Raylan: Let's think hard about the next few seconds. You want to live through them, you need to keep your hands out to the side and do everything slow. You're marshals service, right? Raylan: Hell of a guess. I'm FBI. I'm gonna reach into the side of my coat for my creds. Raylan: Hear that, Tim? He's gonna reach in his coat. Don't shoot him unless it seems appropriate. Badges. If I've seen one badge, I've seen a thousand. Tim: You don't mind if we call the FBI, make sure you didn't get that out of a cereal box? Knock yourselves out. Eve: [ Grunts loudly ] [ Groans ] Tim: That what brought you out here, change in an autopsy? Opposed to what... I just happened to pick this morning to re-interview the widow of a 30-year-dead fugitive? Tim: Ms. Munro! Raylan: Any chance while you're here, you'd tell us what drew Thompson was a material witness to? Tim: Ms. Munro, false alarm. I would if I knew. Tim: No, you wouldn't. No, I guess maybe I wouldn't. Tim: I thought you told her to lock herself in. Raylan: [ Sighs ] Art: Way to go, assholes. Tim: It's bullshit, art. Art: Just admit it. You guys are hopeless without me. Tim: She stayed put for 30 years. We're supposed to assume she's gonna choose today to go for the door? Art: A good investigator assumes nothing but observes everything. Raylan: See, art wouldn't let a little thing like an armed man coming towards the house distract him. Art: Well, maybe with a third set of eyes, you could've kept an eye on the armed man and the suburban grandmother. Raylan: She ain't a grandmother. Art: Yeah, I know, but it sounds funnier. Raylan: Younger than you. Tim: Well, plus, she's got powers. Raylan: Jesus. Tim: Some kind of a gift. He wants to talk to you. Art: Really? Yeah. Art: This is mullen. I don't think your boss likes us very much. Barkley? Aw. You're just saying that because he tried to get the AUSA to prosecute Givens for bribery and conspiracy. Art: Really, I'm saying that 'cause he hung up on me without saying goodbye. It was rude. Guess the fact that your boys couldn't hold onto that suburban housewife... that's not so good. Art: They were doing fine until you showed up. What's that mean? Tim: Means we were handling it. Yeah. Well, now we're handling it. Raylan: Hold on. You said the only reason you were here is 'cause you had to follow up when we changed the autopsy. That's right. But now I'm here... so I'll take it from here. Raylan: Oh, I see. So we do all the work, and then you guys just swoop in when it gets interesting. How many guys you got out looking for her? We're only interested in Thompson. She said she didn't know where he was, right? Tim: Yeah. She also said there were no windows in the half-bath. Just because she's running doesn't mean she's running to him. Raylan: What if she's not running? Meaning what? Raylan: Well, why leave the car? Same reason she left her phone... Because she knew we'd track her? Raylan: Maybe. Like I said... we'll take it from here. The best thing you fellas can do... Stay out of my way. Raylan: I'm telling you. Something ain't right. [ Exhales ] [ Dialing ] [ Phone ringing ] Yeah? Any problems? Not so far. She say anything? I ain't even there yet. Look, you know what happens if we miss with Thompson, right? Yeah. You die badly. Not alone. Oh. Your family, too? Don't talk about my family. Well, tell you what. [ Chuckles ] I'm-a make sure they go real fast, all right? Unfortunately, I can't promise you the same thing. Call me as soon as you find anything. [ Cellphone closes ] [ Elevator bell dings ] Eve: [ Whimpering softly ] [ Whimpering louder ] [ Chuckles ] Mm. Alone at last. Hmm? Eve: [ Whimpers ] Shh. Eve: [ Whimpering continues ] [ Groans ] If I take this off and you scream, I'm-a cut your tongue out. You believe me? Eve: [ Winces ] [ Inhales sharply ] Where's drew? Eve: I don't know. [ Yells, whimpering ] [ Groans ] Where's drew? Eve: [ Crying ] I swear, until an hour ago, I thought he was dead. I swear. I swear. [ Grunts ] Now, I'm-a give you one more chance, and then I'm gonna piss on that sock before I put it back. Eve: How do I know you won't just kill me after you find him? [ Whimpering ] You don't worry about how long you gonna live. You worry about... how slow you gonna die. Where is he? Johnny: What the hell's this? Boyd: Never mind that. Where the hell have you been? Johnny: Wasn't aware I was supposed to keep you apprised of my comings and goings. Mr. Crowder? Boyd: Yeah. Johnny: Yeah. I'd... I'd still like to get him to a hospital. Boyd: I-I thought you said he was doing okay. Well, under the circumstances, he's doing remarkably. Even if half his bites were dry, the... The amount of time it took for him to get treatment... He should've been dead hours ago. Raylan: The fella who uses this locker... Randall? Raylan: Mm-hmm. Everybody knows Randall. Raylan: I'm sure they do. But where is he? Right after you left the last time, he packed up all his sh1t. He carried it out to his car. Ain't seen him since. Raylan: Was he scared when he was leaving? How do you mean? Raylan: I'm just kidding. Thanks, man. Yeah, it looks like bullshit. Well, I'll check it out anyway, let you know if anything pans out. [ Chuckles ] Should've known. Raylan: Should've known what? That you were bullshitting when you said you didn't get anything from the widow. Just trying to keep from sharing the glory? He in there? Raylan: Who? Thompson. He in there? Raylan: Drew Thompson? I doubt it. What are you doing here? Same thing you're doing... Looking for Thompson. Raylan: Because you got a tip? I'm standing here, right? Raylan: From who? I'm here on personal business. Only people who knew I'd be here is my partner and Eve munro. Are you following me? I just told you I was sure you were holding out on me, right? Raylan: And that's gonna hold when we pull your phone records, see who you've been speaking to? Only way to help yourself now is to tell us where your partners are before they kill her. You know how many times I've been on your side of this conversation? Raylan: Then you know I'm shooting you straight. No. No, no. Don't do that. You'll notice the subject's weapon is not in a position to threaten the officer. You know what they do to ex-lawmen in prison. Raylan: Then you get yourself some protection. My family... Raylan: WITSEC. You don't know these people. Raylan: I will if you tell me who they are. Where's Eve munro? Tell my wife I'm sorry. Raylan: You raise that weapon any further, I'm gonna shoot you in the leg. How about if I swing my weapon in your direction? You still gonna risk a leg shot then? Raylan: Maybe. You gonna risk looking your wife in the eye while you get arraigned in a hospital bed? Where's Eve munro? Hillview motel. Raylan: Okay. [ Gunshot ] Eve: [ Whimpering, crying ] [ Grunts ] [ Straining, chuckling ] Ooh, yeah. I bet you think you're pretty funny, huh? Pretty smart? Give me a bullshit address, make me look like an asshole, huh? Eve: [ Whimpering continues ] [ Grunting ] [ Crying ] See, I don't give a sh1t what you do or what you don't know anymore. I'm-a hurt you just to make myself feel good about this whole thing, mm-hmm? Eve: [ Crying continues ] You can promise me things. You can beg for mercy. Eve: [ Muffled screams ] [ Laughs ] Oh, yeah. I'm-a like that. But it ain't gonna make a difference. There ain't a damn thing you can do to change or stop what's about to happen to you. Eve: [ Screams loudly ] You might as well just lay back and try to enjoy yourself. Tim: U.S. marshals! Hands where I can see them! Get them up! Right now! Eve: [ Wheezing ] [ Police radio chatter ] Art: Gentlemen, can we have a few moments, please? Ma'am, I am chief deputy art mullen. Uh, the man who was holding you was a Detroit hard case named Mason Goines, and he worked for a man named Theo Tonin. Can I assume you know who that is? Eve: Might ring a bell. Art: Well, I'm not really all that concerned about whether or not you know his name. I'm really interested in how he knows you. Eve: Uh, as I told your officers earlier... Art: Deputies. Eve: As I told your deputies earlier... Raylan: Before you ran out the back? Eve: I was abducted. Raylan: From the bathroom? Art: Ms. Munro, this is how this is gonna go. Soon as the medics say you're okay, we're gonna send you home. As long as we feel like you're cooperating, we're gonna leave somebody there to protect you. Eve: And if you don't feel I'm cooperating? Art: Then we'll wish you good luck, and we'll be on our way. Eve: One night, after Johnny Carson, I go and find drew in the yard... and he's burning all our photos. I ask him, "what the hell?" And he tells me that the next day or the day after, someone will be coming by to say that he was dead and that... As far as I was concerned, he would be. Art: So that's it? He just said that he was gonna be gone, and... Never explained anything. You didn't ask him any questions. Eve: Of course I asked him questions. All he'd say was... not knowing was gonna keep me safe. Art: Hmm. Well, that sounds like bullshit. I mean, he obviously witnessed something big enough that made him want to fake his own death and leave his whole life behind, and you don't know sh1t about it? Eve: Well, what if I tell you something now that I didn't tell the investigators 30 years ago? Raylan: It could be something you just forgot. Or maybe it's something you just picked up today, when this, uh, Goines fella was smashing you in the face. Psycho-plasm. Tim: Psychometry. Raylan: There you go. Eve: Drew saw Theo Tonin... Murder a government informant. Tim: We've got to assume Barnes told Theo everything we know. He's gonna send an army after drew. Art: Getting a little stiff? Raylan: A little bit. Art: Mm-hmm. Ms. Munro, I'm gonna take you home. I'm gonna station two men out your front door, two men out your back door, and two inside. I think that'll do the job. Raylan: Can I just ask one last question? How did you know where to send him? Eve: What? What do you mean? Raylan: I just said a boxing gym over on the east side. There are three over there. How'd you know which one? Eve: I told you. I have a gift. Billy: Praise God in Jesus' name! Amen! All: Amen! Billy: Praise God. [ Sighs ] Church, I have a story to tell this evening. Now, I was taught that the reason we handle serpents is because by protecting us from their poison... He reveals his glory. Amen. All: Amen! Billy: But, church, last night, a devil entered this place. And it was through these very serpents that the lord cast him out! It was through these very serpents... That he sheltered me. All: Amen! [ Cheering ] Praise Jesus. Praise Jesus! Billy: Church [Chuckles] It seems only fitting that just now, as I spoke of devils, Boyd crowder appeared in our midst, for it was Boyd crowder whose assassins the lord turned away last night. Boyd: I'd be more inclined to call them angels... Billy: Blasphemy. Boyd: Dark angels sent here to remind you that all men are human. Billy: Well, you know, Mr. Crowder, I'd hoped that the bribe you offered my sister last night that she rejected would've been sufficient. But it appears the lord sees fit to remind us of the persistence of evil. Boyd: Oh, this ain't a bribe, Billy. It's a gift. Billy: Well, as you well know, Mr. Crowder, this church no longer accepts donations. Boyd: Well, this gift ain't to the church. It's to the congregation. And it ain't money. It's knowledge. Now, this here, in this box, is a genuine canebrake rattler pulled this very day from a rock crevice alongside the cumberland river, which is how I know your sister hadn't had a chance to milk it like she has all these other snakes. Billy: Once again, Mr. Crowder, I am amazed at the ease with which lies drip from your forked tongue. Boyd: Well, if I'm lying, you won't mind taking ahold of this bad boy. Cassie: Mr. Crowder, these serpents are not props to us. We take them up only when the lord moves us, and then it's only in pursuit of his glory. Boyd: Well, how you think that's gonna play with the flock, Billy, huh? How say you, flock? Now, there are those men who choose to stay in the dark. But there are some men who choose to come out into the light. And those men should be transparent. [ Rattling ] Billy: All right, Mr. Crowder. I will indulge your sideshow. "For it is not with words that I" preach, but with a demonstration "of the spirit's power." [ Crowd shouts in agreement ] Boyd: You gonna have to tell him. This is your last chance. Cassie: Billy. Don't. [ Voice breaking ] Don't. Billy: No, it's not possible. Boyd: Oh, sure it is. You just jam the fangs right down on the funnel, and you press right behind the eyes. Billy: No, I... I would've known. Cassie: Billy, come here. Come here. [ Breathing shakily ] I'm sorry. I'm sorry. [ Voice breaking ] You weren't there when daddy died. You didn't have to listen to him scream as the poison ate out his insides. Boyd: Well, I think we've seen all we needed to see. Billy: You set that box down, Mr. Crowder. Cassie: Billy. Billy: Mr. Crowder! Cassie: Billy! Billy: You may have started this game, but you do not get to say when it is over. Boyd: You know what, son? I once stood where you're standing now, mistaking my own hubris for God's touch. That ain't religion, son. That's called self-glorification. Best you leave this one alone. Billy: Put it down. Cassie: [ Softly ] Billy... Billy, don't. Boyd: Don't do it, son. You ain't got nothing to be ashamed of. Billy: I will not heed the warning of an idolater. Cassie: Billy. Billy, don't! Billy: Let go of me. Cassie: [ Voice breaking ] Please, Billy, no. God, no. [ Rattling ] Billy: Yes. Come on. Oh, yes. Oh, there it is. [ Breathing heavily ] Hallelujah! Praise Jesus! [ Rattling continues ] The righteous man knows his only true protection comes from the lord! [ Winces, breathing heavily ] Cassie: Billy! Billy! Billy!! Billy! [ Crying ] Billy... [ crying ] Stay with me. Please, stay with me. No. Somebody please call an ambulance! [ Crying continues ] Somebody call an ambulance now! Billy, no. Please don't leave me. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Indistinct conversations ] Rachel: You remember what Michael Jordan said about weakness? Raylan: I remember when he dunked on the tallest fella I ever saw. His name was like "micron" or something. Rachel: Manute. Raylan: There you go. Yeah. What's the chances you name your boy "minute" and he ends up nearly 8 feet tall? Rachel: I left Joe. Raylan: Sorry to hear that. Seemed like a decent guy. Rachel: He is. Raylan: Is this where I'm supposed to ask if you want to talk about it? Rachel: Mnh-mnh. Raylan: Thank God. I thought you were gonna want to talk about it. Rachel: [ Chuckles ] So, did you find him? Raylan: Find who? Rachel: Tim said you went there looking for your girl's ex-husband. Raylan: Yeah. I saw him there this morning. Told him he'd best not be there when I get back. Rachel: You mean you told him to meet you behind the bleachers after school? Raylan: Pretty much. Rachel: [ Chuckles ] Raylan: Hmm. Rachel: What? Raylan: Eh, I would've bet money he would be there. Seemed like he couldn't wait. Lindsey ain't here tonight? Last I saw her, she was headed up to wait for you. That was a couple hours ago. Raylan: Hmm. Rachel: Guess she got tired of waiting.

Plan: A: Raylan; Q: Who starts to look for Drew Thompson? A: the Truth family; Q: Where did Raylan visit that made him believe Drew Thompson was alive? A: Art; Q: Who is Raylan's boss? A: Drew Thompson's apparent death; Q: What event 30 years ago put Drew Thompson under the purview of the Marshals? A: Drew Thompson's; Q: Whose ex-wife did Raylan visit first in his search for Drew Thompson? A: a sealed federal witness warrant; Q: What was Drew Thompson wanted for? A: the Thompson search; Q: What is Raylan's first stop in? A: Theo Tonin; Q: Who is the head honcho of a Detroit criminal organization? A: a federal witness; Q: What did Tonin kill that prompted the search for Drew Thompson? A: Preacher Billy; Q: Who is killed while handling a rattlesnake? Summary: Raylan starts to look for Drew Thompson, who he now believes is alive after his visit to the Truth family. Also, Raylan's boss Art found out that at the time of Drew Thompson's apparent death 30 years ago he was wanted in a sealed federal witness warrant, putting the search for Thompson under the purview of the Marshals. Raylan's first stop in the Thompson search is visiting Thompson's former wife. Eventually the US Marshals find out that the head honcho of a Detroit criminal organization (Theo Tonin) also wants to find Drew Thompson. According to Thompson's ex-wife, Thompson saw Tonin kill a federal witness. Preacher Billy is killed while handling a rattlesnake.

Scene: A public washroom. Amy and Penny are in cubicles, Bernadette is washing her hands. Amy: I must say, Penny, this is great fun. Penny: Glad you're enjoying yourself. Amy: Until I met you and Bernadette, my trips to the bathroom had been entirely focused on elimination. Now they have a delightful social aspect. Bernadette: Amy, you must've been in the bathroom with other women before. Amy: Of course I have. But they were strangers and seemed off-put when I engaged in friendly stall-to-stall chit-chat. Bernadette: Some women don't like to get chummy when their panties are down. Amy: You okay in there, bestie? Penny: I'm fine. Amy: The reason I ask is that many people experience bladder shyness, the inability to pass urine Penny: Yeah, I said I'm fine. Stop talking to me. Amy: She always this crabby when she urinates? Bernadette: We're really not that close. Penny: Screw it. I'll go later. Amy: And I'll be right by your side. Scene: A shoe shop. Bernadette: Did I tell you Priya invited me and Howard to have dinner with her and Leonard? Penny: Oh, that's nice. Amy: No, it's not. It's a strategic manoeuvre. Leonard's new girlfriend is testing Bernadette's loyalty to you and the group. That bitch is crafty. Bernadette: You think? Amy: Of course. How does the cheetah attack a herd of wildebeests? By going after its weakest member. Bernadette: Well, what makes me the weakest member? Amy: Your trusting nature coupled with your teeny-tiny body. You wouldn't last a minute on the Serengeti. Penny: Okay, Amy, you're being silly. I am not concerned about who hangs out with who. And I certainly don't have a problem with Leonard's new girlfriend who wears way too much makeup. Ooh, these are cute. Of course if I buy them, I'll have to rent my womb out to a gay couple. Bernadette: It doesn't matter. I'm going to tell her we can't make it. Amy: Oh, no. You have to go. Bernadette: I don't understand. I thought I was a teeny-tiny wildebeest. Amy: You are, with hair that smells like strawberries. And we're going to use that to our advantage. Penny: Wait. What are you talking about? Amy: By accepting the invitation, Bernadette becomes a double agent inside the enemy camp. She could ferret out Priya's tactics, identify her weaknesses and feed her false information, such as, Leonard's no stranger to back-alley cockfights. Bernadette: I don't know. I'm not a very good liar. They kind of whup that out of you in Catholic school. Amy: Don't worry. I'll teach you. I did two years of Cub Scouts before they found out I was a girl. Penny: Okay, I don't know you people. I'm just an innocent woman wondering if this shoe store will take my Texaco card. Amy: How do you feel about concealing a recording device in the cleavage of your ample bosom? Bernadette: I don't want anything in my ample bosom. Amy: Come on, Strawberries. Take one for the team. Credits sequence Leonard: Okay, see you later. Sheldon: Good news. I finally have a handle on my idea for three-person chess. Leonard: That is good news. Bye. Sheldon: Uh, do you know how I solved the balanced centre combat-area problem? Five words, transitional quadrilateral to triangular tessellation. Leonard: That, that's brilliant. Sheldon: It's what I do. But wait, there's more. I also invented two new chess pieces. The serpent, and the old woman. Leonard: Okay, now I have to ask. What do they do? Sheldon: When the serpent slithers to an opposing player's piece, that piece is considered poisoned and will die after two more moves. Ugh. Leonard: All right. Sheldon: Unless, it gets to the old woman in time, in which case she sucks out the poison, turning her into the Grand Empress, a piece combining the power of the knight, queen and serpent. Leonard: Elegant. Sheldon: That's because it's simple. Leonard: Okay, well, I look forward to playing with you. Sheldon: And... Leonard: And what? Sheldon: And a third person. It's three-person chess. I must say, ever since you started having regular intercourse, your mind has lost its keen edge. You should reflect on that. Leonard: Excuse me, but Einstein had a pretty busy s*x life. Sheldon: Yes, and he never unified gravity with the other forces. If he hadn't been such a hound dog, we'd all have time machines. Leonard: Got it. Bye. Sheldon: You know I'm right. Leonard (outside apartment): I think he's getting worse. Amy: Oh, my metatarsal are barking. Leonard: You okay? Amy: Yeah, yeah. I'm just breaking in some new shoes. Leonard: Very pretty. Amy: Thank you. Did you know that women wear high heels to make the buttocks and breasts more prominent? Leonard: Hadn't really thought about it. Amy: Look. Leonard: Uh, sure. Very... prominent. Amy: Please, Leonard, don't leer, you have a girlfriend. Leonard: Sorry. Amy: So, are you off to dinner with Priya, Howard and Bernadette? Leonard: Yeah. How did you know? Amy: I heard it at the mall, when I was shopping with my girlfriends, 'cause, you know, that's kind of my life now. Have a good night. Try not to ogle my caboose as I walk away. Scene: Raj's apartment. Priya: Hey, you. Leonard: Hi. Hey, Raj, will you be joining us for dinner? Raj: The lonely guy and the two happy couples? I'd rather get a prostate exam from a leper who walks away with nine fingers. Priya: Oh, would you please stop feeling sorry for yourself? Raj: I have to feel sorry for myself. I'm the only one who cares. Just like I'm the only one who'll have s*x with me. Leonard: Really? In front of your sister? Priya: We shared a room growing up. This is not news to me. Raj: Excuse me. I'm going to go wander the streets alone. Invisible, unwanted and unloved, a pathetic shadow in a city with no heart. (Leaves, then returns a moment later) I forgot my windbreaker. It's chilly. Scene: Penny's apartment. Amy: I don't understand. Is this a way to break in new shoes? Penny: No. Once these puppies touch the ground they're mine, and I'll have to wear them walking up and down Hollywood Boulevard in order to pay them off. Pretty, pretty, pretty. Amy: Good news: the wildebeest is in the curry. Penny: The what? Amy: Bernadette is with Priya and Leonard. Message received. Commence operation "Priya Wouldn't Wanna Be-ya." Penny: Hey. Seriously? Didn't you get enough of this cliquey crap in high school? Amy: I wish. A clique requires friends. I didn't have any. Penny: None? Amy: I used to take my lunch down to the maintenance room and eat with the janitor. It was nice until his wife called me a puta and made me stop. Hang on. It's the wildebeest. Priya just made a snide comment about your acting career. Penny: Wh... What the hell did she say? Amy: She thinks it's cool you're following your dream, no matter what. Penny: That bitch! Amy: How do you want to handle it? Penny: Um, okay. Tell Bernadette to tell Priya that I'm on my way to Prague to shoot a movie with Angelina Jolie. Amy: Got it. Is it going to be in 3-D? Penny: What? I don't know. It doesn't matter. Amy: I'm gonna say 3-D. That'll let her know the studio has faith in it. Scene: Raj's apartment. Leonard: You're kidding. 3-D? Bernadette: That's what I hear. Howard: Then the studio must have real faith in it. Leonard: Wonder why she didn't tell me. Priya: Have you been spending time with your ex-girlfriend? Leonard: No. Priya: Then why are you surprised she didn't tell you? Leonard: Well, it's not as much surprised as, uh, uh, you know, uh. th-th-th-the other thing. Priya: What other thing? Leonard: Well, you know, if you, if, if, if you, uh, I don't, oh, what's the word I'm looking for? Howard: I'm not going to help you. This is hilarious. Bernadette: She's also dating an astronaut. Priya: Wow. That's very impressive. Bernadette: Yeah. But Leonard's impressive, too. Leonard: Thank you. Befuddled. The word I was looking for was befuddled. Scene: The apartment. Sheldon is playing three person chess by himself. Sheldon: Knight to old woman six-and-a-third. Brilliant move. Thank you. (Knock on door) Will the two of you excuse me? Raj: I need a hug. Sheldon: Sorry, I have company. Raj: Come on, Sheldon, open the door. Sheldon: I don't want to hug you. Raj: I don't want to hug you, either. I was just feeling blue. Sheldon: Blue, as in depressed. Raj: Well, not so much depressed as lonely. Sheldon: I don't know what colour lonely is. Raj: What? Sheldon: Red is angry, yellow is frightened, green is jealous and blue is depressed. Perhaps we can assign a colour to lonely. Raj: Nothing rhymes with orange. It's probably lonely. Sheldon: All right. Come in. You look positively orange with loneliness. No, I don't see that catching on at all. Raj: What are you doing? Sheldon: I'm working on my three-person chess game. Raj: Oh, cool. Can I play? Sheldon: It's three-person chess. Did you bring a friend? Raj: No. Sheldon: Then as a mental exercise I invite you to figure out why the two of us can't play three-person chess. Can you believe this guy? Social protocol does, however, require me to bring you a hot beverage in your time of need. Raj: No, thank you. I'm fine. Sheldon: It's not optional. We're out of tea. I hope you like bouillon. Raj: I, uh, I guess you're probably wondering what's got me down. Sheldon: Actually, I was wondering if I could add a third new chess piece. How do you think people would feel about Prince Joey, the king's feeble-minded but well-meaning cousin? Raj: I'm going to be 30 years old, and I have no one in my life to love me. I'm such a basket case, I can't even talk to a woman without having alcohol in my body. Sheldon: The fun thing about Prince Joey is every time he moves, there's a one-in-five chance he'll kill himself. Raj: Sheldon, listen to me. I have a big decision to make, and I'm scared. Sheldon: Yellow. Go ahead. Raj: A friend at the School of Pharmacology gave me these new pills they're testing. He says it's the next big thing for social anxiety disorder. Sheldon: Fascinating. What's in it? Raj: I'm not sure. Some sort of beta-blocker attached to a molecule extracted from the urine of cows. Sheldon: I like cows. Raj: That's not the point. Sheldon: It was its own point. Go on. Raj: I'm a scientist. My ability to think is my bread and butter. I'm afraid if I take this, I might lose that special, unique something that makes me so successful in my field. Sheldon: Rajesh, I've had the privilege of working alongside you for many years. My recommendation is that you gobble these up like Tic Tacs. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene: Raj's apartment. Howard: Okay, I'm still trying to work this out. How did Penny meet an astronaut? Bernadette: I don't know. The regular way people meet astronauts. Howard: Most of those guys live in Texas. Bernadette: Obviously, this one doesn't. Howard: Okay. Bernadette: Leonard lives here. Priya's from India. People meet, Howard. God! Howard: Fine. Bernadette: You've met lots of astronauts, and I've never grilled you about that. I'd thank you to extend me the same courtesy. Howard: I'm not grilling you, I was just curious. Leonard: I still can't get over the fact that she got a big movie part. Not that I care what my ex-girlfriend's up to, 'cause I don't. Bernadette: Maybe that's where she met the astronaut, all right? Priya: I'm sorry. What would an astronaut be doing working on a movie? Bernadette: He's a consultant. Leonard: I thought the movie was about 18th-century Vienna? Bernadette: He can't have a hobby? Excuse me, I have to pee. Or is that implausible, as well? Howard: It's nice to have another couple to hang with, isn't it? Scene: Penny's apartment. Penny (to the shoes): All right, guys, you have to go back. I can't afford you. "No, don't send us away, we love you." I love you, too, but you cost more than my rent. "But, Penny, you look so good in us." Damn it, the shoes are right. Amy: Good golly, Penny, your whimsy is boundless. (Phone rings) What do you got for me, wildebeest? Bernadette (in Raj's bathroom): I think they're on to me. The story's starting to fall apart. Amy: Calm down. Everything's going to be okay. (To Penny) We may have to kill her. Bernadette, I'm putting you on speakerphone. Where are you now? Bernadette: In the bathroom. Amy: Oh, look at this, another one of our classic bathroom gabfests. What's the problem? Bernadette: They're just asking me all sorts of questions I can't answer. Amy: Just change the subject. Bernadette: I suppose I could get them back to talking about Leonard going to India to meet Priya's parents. Penny: What? Bernadette: They said something about going there this summer. Penny: What, are they getting engaged? Bernadette: I don't know. I was too busy covering my heinie on Amy's stupid astronaut story! Amy: What astronaut story? Bernadette: You texted me Penny's dating an astronaut. Amy: I texted architect. That's amusing. Auto-correct must've changed it. Bernadette: Yeah, it's hysterical. Penny: All right, look, just forget about the astronaut. Amy: Architect. Where would you have met an astronaut? Penny: Look, just find out what's up with this trip to India. Bernadette: I don't want to do this anymore! Penny: Don't you quit on us! Howard (knocking on bathroom door): Bernie, you okay? Bernadette (screaming): It was an architect! Scene: A coffee shop. Raj: Thank you for coming with me, Sheldon. You're a good friend. Sheldon: I'm glad you think so. That's what I strive to emulate. Raj: Okay, let's see if this drug works. Woman at table: Can I help you? Raj: Forgive me for staring, but you're very beautiful. Woman: Thank you. That's a great accent. Where are you from? Raj: India. Woman: Oh, cool. I've always wanted to go there. Raj: It's a beautiful country. You'd love it. May I join you? Woman: Uh, okay, sure. Why not? Raj: My name is Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, and this is my friend Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Woman: Hi. Sheldon: Oh, there's no need to interact with me. I'm just here to observe. Woman: What's he observing? Raj: We're scientists. We observe everything. Here, go buy yourself a scone. Sheldon: All right. Raj: And what is your name? Woman: Angela. Raj: Oh, derived from the word angel. Appropriate. Angela: You're cute. Sheldon: I'd like to buy a scone. Server: Oh, I'm sorry, we're out. We have muffins. Sheldon: They sound delicious, but this money is earmarked for scones. Angela: What are you doing? Raj (taking his shirt off): Oh, just getting comfortable. So how long have you lived in Los Angeles? Angela: I... Sheldon: They were out of scones. Raj (removing his trousers): Sheldon, I'm talking to someone. You're being rude. I'll bet you're an actress. If not, you should be. You have a very expressive face. Angela: Oh, my God. Raj: Wait, where are you going? We were doing so well. She never even got to see my pen1s. Ta-da! Scene: Raj's apartment. They are playing Jenga, Priya: Who wants some more coffee? Leonard: Thanks, yeah. Howard: Sure. Bernadette: Let me help you. Howard: Nice to see that the gals are getting along. Leonard: Gals? Who are you, Fred Flintstone? Bernadette: This trip to India sounds fun. Priya: Yeah, I think it will be. Bernadette: Are you concerned your parents might not approve of Leonard? Priya: A little. They're very old-fashioned. Bernadette: Well, I wouldn't worry about it. It's not like you guys are getting engaged, right? Priya: Oh, God, no. We're not there yet. Bernadette: Not engaged. Very interesting. I have to tinkle. Priya: You've been in there a lot tonight. Are you okay? Bernadette: Yes. Are you writing a book? Priya: Why are you getting upset? Bernadette: I'm not upset. Maybe you're upset. Priya: What's up with you? Bernadette? Bernadette: I can't do this anymore! I'm a good girl! I went to Catholic school! (Storms out,) Howard: Okay, well, it's getting late. This was terrific. You win. Bernie? Leonard: I think the word you're looking for is befuddled. Scene: The apartment. Sheldon, Leonard and Howard are playing three person chess. Sheldon: My catapult flings my bishop to Howard's Queen's Gorilla two. Howard: Nice. Okay, rook to transporter pad. And he comes out at Leonard's Queen's Bishop five-and-a-third. Check on Leonard. Leonard: Hang on. When is my pawn allowed to use the golf cart? Sheldon: When it's done charging. Or you land on the time machine. Obviously. Leonard: Oh, oh, Beekeeper to King 12. I capture your Pope and release the swarm. Checkmate on Sheldon. Sheldon: I knew I should have given my Pope the jet pack. Raj (still naked): Hey, I've got winners.

Plan: A: Bernadette; Q: Who reveals that Howard and Priya have been invited to a double date? A: Amy; Q: Who wants to use Bernadette to spy on Priya? A: disinformation; Q: What does Amy want Bernadette to spread about Penny and Leonard? A: Raj; Q: Who is lonely and wants to try to cure his social anxiety? A: Sheldon; Q: Who does Raj visit to get advice about his social anxiety? A: an experimental drug; Q: What does Raj try to cure his social anxiety with? A: a coffee shop; Q: Where does Raj go to observe the drug's effectiveness? A: Angela; Q: What is the name of the woman Raj starts to talk to? A: all his inhibitions; Q: What does Raj lose after taking the drug? A: Sheldon's chess; Q: What game do Sheldon, Leonard and Howard play while Raj watches? A: a still-nude Raj; Q: Who watches Sheldon, Leonard and Howard play chess? Summary: Bernadette reveals that Howard and her have been invited to a double date by Priya. Amy proposes to use Bernadette to spy on Priya and spread disinformation about Penny and Leonard. Meanwhile, Raj, who is still very lonely, visits Sheldon, who is busy developing a version of three-player chess. He tries to get advice about whether or not he should try to cure his social anxiety using an experimental drug. Sheldon finally advises Raj to take the drug and accompanies him to a coffee shop to observe the drug's effectiveness. It ends up working very well, as Raj starts to talk to a woman named Angela, who also seems to like him. However, Raj loses all his inhibitions and strips completely naked, thus scaring off Angela. In the end, Sheldon, Leonard and Howard play a test game of Sheldon's chess while a still-nude Raj is watching them.

This transcript is merely for those that do not have access to Buffy the Vampire Slayer on the TV. It is not to infringe on any copyrighted material, merely to spread and promote BTVS. Feel free to distribute this, so long as there are no modifications made. Prologue: Cut to a forresty area. We see a guy walking along. He pauses as a branch breaks nearby. He continues walking after a minute. He turns around and sees Buffy. Guy : Oh! Buffy : Looking for me? Guy : Holy--what do you want? Buffy punches him. The guy looks startled, then vamps out. Vampire : Uhh! Hey! Buffy : Look who's home? Vampire : A slayer. Why don't you just go back where you came from? Things were great before you came. Buffy punches him again, then kicks him. He goes down and as he gets he backhands her in the stomach. She backhands him in the face and he hits the ground. As he's getting up she grabs him from behind and stakes him. Buffy : And they say one person can't make a difference. We then pan to where Angel can be seen hiding in the foiliage. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ Cut to a lawn outside a building site. We see the dean on a podium making a speech. There is a small gathering watching. Dean guerrero: Of all the duties of a dean, one of the most pleasant is to see a colleague realize a dream. Ladies, gentlemen, students, I present to you professor Gerhardt of the anthropology department. Prof Gerhardt replaces the dean at the podium. Gerhardt : When I first realized we were outgrowing our current cultural center, I was concerned. Then I realized It was like seeing one's child grow up and move on to better things. In this case, a spacious new facility to be built on this site... Cut to where Buffy, Willow and Anya are standing together. Xander is at the site as a construciton worker. Anya : Look at him. Have you ever seen anything so masculine? Buffy : You mean guerrero or his wife? Willow : I think she means... (Referring to Xander who's waiting to begin digging.) Buffy : Oh. Very manly. Not at all village people. (Yes, very village people, actually.) So much sexier than the outfit from his last job. Willow : Oh, I miss the free hot dogs on sticks. Anya : I'm imagining having s*x with him right now. Back to Gerhardt continuing her speech. Gerhardt : And that's why it's appropriate that the ground-breaking for the uc sunnydale cultural partnership center is taking place so soon before thanksgiving. Because that's what the melting pot is about-- Contributions from all cultures, making our culture stronger... Cut to the girls again, Buffy begins to clap but stops as Willow interjects. Willow : What a load of horse hooey. Buffy : We have a counterpoint? Willow : Yeah. Thanksgiving isn't about blending of 2 cultures. It's about one culture wiping out another. And then they make animated specials about the part where, with the maize and the big, big belt buckles. They don't show you the next scene, where all the bison die and squanto takes a musket ball in the stomach. Buffy : Ok. Now, for some of that, you were channeling your mother? Willow : Well, yeah, sort of. That's why she doesn't celebrate thanksgiving or columbus day-- You know, the destruction of the indigenous peoples. I know it sounds a little overwrought, but really, she's...She's right. Buffy : Yeah. I guess I never really thought about it that way. With mom at aunt darlene's this year, I'm not getting a thanksgiving. Maybe it's just as well. Anya : Well, I think that's a shame. I love a ritual sacrifice. Buffy : It's not really a one of those. Anya : To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It's a ritual sacrifice, with pie. Back to the professor's speech. Gerhardt : ...And thus, a symbolic beginning. She goes over and commences with the ground breaking ceremony. Anya : (Inscensed.) What's she doing? Xander said he was going to dig. I want to see Xander dig. Buffy : That's part's just ceremonial. Anya : Well, it bites. She's not rippling at all. Oh. Look, there he goes. (We see Xander begin digging in earnest. She sighs.) Look at him. Willow : Very...Diggy. Anya : Soon he'll be sweating. I'm imagining having s*x with him again. Buffy : Imaginary Xander is quite the machine. Xander is still digging when suddenly the ground breaks away beneath him. He plumments to an underground chamber. Xander : Uhh! Ow. I'm ok! I'm, uh... I'm ok! (He looks around.) Where am I okay? We see Angel in the shadows hiding behind trees again. He's staring up at Buffy's window. Cut to Buffy and Willow's room. Willow : While they were pulling Xander out, I heard a couple of the anthro professors talking about it. Man, were they excited. It's the old sunnydale mission, which everyone thought was lost. Buffy : (Staring out the window.) Huh? Willow : Is there something out there? Buffy : Hmm? Oh. No. I'm sorry. A lost mission. I mean, a hairbrush I can understand. And by the way, I will find that and get that back to you. But how do you lose a mission? Willow : Huge earthquake in 1812. Everyone just assumed the mission was leveled. Instead, they built right over it. It's like what happened in the thirties with that church the master was in. Doesn't it make you wonder what else is there, like, right under our feet? Buffy : Mostly, I've just found sewers full of demons. Willow : Oh, right. (Outside we hear students running mad through the halls with excitement.) Man, it's crazy out there. Buffy : Mm-hmm. Post-midterm frenzy. And the holiday. Everyone's going home. Willow : It looks like a lot of lucky moms are gonna be getting brimming baskets of dirty laundry. Buffy : It's so not fair. I mean, they all get a family holiday just because they can go home to their families. Willow : Hmm, it's a turvy-topsy world. Buffy : You know what? I should have my own thanksgiving. I can cook the meal, just like my mom does, have all you guys over. It'll be great. Willow : Buffy, earlier you agreed with me about Thanksgiving. It's a sham. It's all about death. Buffy : It is a sham, but it's a sham with yams. It's a yam sham. Willow : You're not gonna jokey-rhyme your way out of this one. Buffy : I know... But I want it. It's like professor Walsh was saying about sense memory. I smell a roasting turkey, and I'm 8 years old. I liked having that to look forward to. Everything's different now. Willow : Well, I suppose there could be slight yams. Buffy : I mean, we could definitely use a little comfort food. I bet giles doesn't have any plans. And Xander always tries to avoid all of his family gatherings. Willow : Ooh. We could not invite anya. Buffy : I don't know. She and xander seem pretty tight lately. Look, pilgrims aside, isn't that the whole point of thanksgiving-- Everybody has a place to go? Cut to Spike walking around the forrest, wearing a blanket looking desolate. Cut to Riley, Graham and Forrest in commando gear, patrolling the forrest looking for Spike. Forrest : Man, I'm beat. Riley : We'll do one more sweep, then cash it in. Forrest : I gotta pack tonight. You got a flight? Riley : Wednesday night. Professor walsh wants me here for the debriefing. Forrest : That's a pretty short thanksgiving. Riley : Hey, with a hostile on the loose, we're lucky to be going home at all. Forrest : It's neutered. The implant works great. He can't hurt a single living thing. Riley : As long as he knows about the initiative, he's a threat. We do this the professor's way. Forrest : (Coughing the words.) Mama's boy. Riley : That's a nasty cough. You might need to spend the weekend in quarantine. Forrest : Oh, no. I'm done coughing. Riley : I just don't want anyone getting sick. (He pats Forrest on the arm.) Cut to Xander's basement/room. Anya comes in as Xander is finishing dressing for work. He looks worn out. Anya : Xander, what are you doing? You're supposed to be digging. I went to watch you digging, and you weren't there doing it. Xander : I'm going now. Just...Kinda tough getting going today. Anya : (Feeling his forehead.) Your head is moist. Oh! You're sick. Well, you can't go to work. Xander : (Anya pushes him back on the bed.) Uh. Oh. Anya? Anya : You're pasty and wet and disgusting. They can dig without you. Xander : (Groaning.) Look-- I don't really feel that bad. Anya : I inflicted a lot of putrefying diseases on men when I was an avenging demon, and you look like you're getting all of them. Xander : (Giving in.) Ok. I'll stay. But you should go. You could catch it. Anya : (Perkily.) We'll die together. It's romantic. Let me get your trousers off. (She begins to undress him.) Xander : You're a strange girlfriend. Anya : I'm a girlfriend? Xander : Uh...There's a chance I'm delirious. Anya : Ah, yes. Well, whatever it is that's making you sick, so far, I like it. Cut to the Professor Gerhardt on the phone. Gerhardt : It's a very exciting opportunity. I can't wait to go down there myself. It's just...Well, it's means we're going to have to start looking for a new location. ... No, it's really up to the dean. ... I just hope this doesn't cost us another year. ... Ok. Talk to you later. We see green smoke coalesing around an ancient knife. The professor inspects it and the smoke turns into a native american. He grabs the knife, seizes the professor and slits her throat. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ Willow and Buffy are inspecting the site of the professors death. Willow : I'll never get used to this. One day, she's at the friendship ceremony. The next day, she's on the news. The coroner's office said she was missing an ear. So I'm thinking, Maybe we're looking for a witch. There's some great spells that work much better with an ear in the mix. Buffy : That's one fun little hobby you've got there, Will. Willow : Or...Or maybe an ear-harvesting demon that--it's, like, building another demon completely out of ears. Or...Ooh. Thought. We're just assuming someone else cut off the ear. What if it was self-inflicted, like van gogh? Buffy : So...She brutally stabs herself, dumped the body, then cut off her own ear? Willow : No. She cut off her ear, then killed herself, then dumped the body-- I'm really off my game, aren't I? Buffy : Yeah. Wait. Something's missing from this case. (She reads the inscription.) "Early 1800 chumash knife." There's a picture. Willow : What's it look like? Cut to Buffy in Giles kitchen getting the food ready for thanksgiving dinner. Buffy : Pretty darn scary. It more like a riot than a ralph's. Buffy : I thought I was going to have to use slayer moves on this one woman who was completely hoarding the pumpkin pie filling. Giles : And at some point, you are going to tell me about the murder? Buffy : Oh, right. The knife was some sort of indian artifact. Chumash, I think. That's all we got. Giles : Oh, chumash indians. They were indigenous to this whole area. Buffy : That's interesting. Giles : Then, of course, the murder weapon might have just been a convenient choice. Buffy : Uh-uh. There was a big ol' scissors lying right there. That knife was picked for a reason. Do you even own a turkey pan? Giles : Tell me again why we're not doing this at your house. Buffy : Giles, if you would like to get by in american society, then you are going to have to follow our traditions. You're the patriarch. You have to host the festivities, or it's all meaningless. Giles : And this is in no way an elaborate scheme to stick me with the cleanup? Buffy : How about that ceremonial knife, huh? Pretty juicy piece of clueage, don't you think? Giles : Yes, all right, I'll look into the chumash connection and see if there's any ritual significance to the ear removal. Buffy : Thank you. (Buffy pauses looking lost in thought.) Giles : You all right? Buffy : Yeah. Uh... I still need to pick up a few things, so I'll check in. And keep your hands off the food. Giles : Oh, I'll try and restrain myself from eating uncooked potatoes and cranberries. Buffy leaves and Angel walks out from a room in the back of the apartment. Giles : So, what do you think? Angel : She sounds good. Kind of intense about this thanksgiving thing. Giles : I think perhaps she's a little lonely, but I meant about the murder. Angel : Whatever killed the woman in the museum, that's probably the danger. Giles : Yeah, well, this danger, your friend has some ominous vision about Buffy. It's all terribly vague. I mean, there are other things happening on this campus. Angel : Well, maybe I'm wrong, but I gotta try something. I can't just keep watching. Gilse : I'm glad that you're watching out for her, but I feel I should remind you that she's not helpless and it's not your job to keep her safe. Angel : It's not yours anymore, either. Are you going to walk away? Giles : All right. But I feel we should tell her. I don't like keeping this secret. Angel : No. If she knew I was here, it was distract her. It could get her hurt. I don't want to get in the way. Giles : Um, I'm assuming that there's some connection to the old mission. Something is angry about being disturbed. Angel : Or maybe it was trapped there, and now it's released. Something that has a fondness for ancient weapons. You know father gabriel? Giles : No. Angel : He knows the history of this place pretty well. His family dates back to mission times. He might be able to fill in some blanks. Giles : Ok. Well, I'll see about contacting him. Where are you going? Angel : To watch her. Giles : It's not fair. You know that's what she'd say. You can see her, but she can't see you? Angel : Believe me, I'm not getting the good half of this deal. To be on the outside looking in at what I can't... Well, I'd forgotten how bad it feels. Cut to Willow and Buffy walking along outside, in the business district. Willow : But you have whipped cream. I saw it in giles' fridge. Buffy : But that's whipped cream in a canister. Look, it's only right if you whip it yourself. Willow : Hey, and then later, we can churn our own butter and make sweaters out of sheep. Buffy : Ok. It's the last thing. I promise. Besides, I have an appointment with that priest that Giles called about. He thinks he might have some information. Riley: (Runs up to them.) Buffy? Hey, Buffy. Buffy : Riley. Where'd you come from? I didn't see you at all. Riley : Oh, just across the street... And a couple of blocks down. Hey, willow. Willow : Hi. Well, I'm just gonna let you two... Look, they're selling coffee in the coffee shop. Yum. (She runs into the coffee shop and into Angel. He grabs her and covers her mouth with his hand. She's trying to talk through it and it comes out garbled.) Oh! Angel-- evil! You're all evil again. Angel : I'm not evil. I'm here to help Buffy. (He removes his hand and lets her go.) Willow : What's going on? Angel : My friend had a vision. Buffy's in danger. Willow : So tell her. Help her. Angel : If she sees me, it'll be worse. Willow : See, I don't get that, all this "leaving for her own good" garbage. Because that's what it is. You can't just give up because there's obstacles. What kind-- Angel : (Interupting her tirade.) Willow. Willow : Sorry. My stuff. Angel : You know how I feel about her. If there was any way... Willow : Yeah. I know. Angel : It's just...Everything's different now. Willow : Hey, is cordelia really working for you? 'Cause that's gotta be a special experience. Of all the people you could've hired. Angel : Willow, I'm here to protect Buffy. I don't have a whole lot of time for personal stuff. Willow : Right. Well, how can I help? Angel : Well, if you can just tell me... (Looking out the window. He sees Buffy and Riley chatting.) Who's that guy? Cut to outside where Buffy and Riley are talking. Buffy : It'll be just like it was when I was a kid. Only without me building a fort out of my mashed potatoes. Riley : Sounds like fun. Buffy : It will be. Um, you know, if you don't already have plans... You should come. I'm a great cook... In theory. I've eaten a lot. Riley : That sounds so great, but I'm outta here tonight. I caught a last-minute flight back to Iowa. Buffy : Iowa. That's one of the ones in the middle, right? Riley : My folks are there. We always do thanksgiving at my grandparents' house. A little farm outside Huxley. Buffy : Sounds nice. Riley : It is. After dinner, we all go for a walk down by the river with the dogs. There's trees and... And I know what you're thinking. It's like I grew up in a grant wood painting. Buffy : Exactly. If I knew who that was. Riley : Just a guy who painted stuff that looked like where I grew up. Buffy : Well, have fun at the homestead. Riley : Always do. What's the line? Home's the place that, when you have to go there... Buffy : They have to take you in. Cut to Harmony's crypt. She's advancing towards Spike yelling at him. Harmony : Get out. Spike : (Leaning against a wall.) But, baby, this is where I belong. Harmony : (Pointing.) Out. I mean it. I've been doing a lot of reading, and I'm in control of my own power now, so we're through. She backs up as Spike advances towards her. He grabs her abruptly. He begins to kiss her shoulder. She looks uncertain. Spike : You don't mean that. Harmony : Yes, I do. I...I do. (Spike picks her up and carrys her over to the bed.) I mean it a lot. Spike : See? I knew you'd end up welcoming be back (He begins to stroke her legs.) With open...Arms. (He leans into kiss her.) Harmony : No. (She pushes him away.) I'm powerful, and I'm beautiful, and I don't need you to complete me. (She goes around the bed and lifts the matress revealing a stake which she grabs.) And you're mean. (She stands up holding the stake up.) Spike : (Backpedeling, then falling off the bed.) You had that in our bed? Do you know how dangerous that is? Harmony : (Advancing on him.) Let's find out. Spiek : You wouldn't do it. (Backing up as she walks towards him still wielding the stake.) Harmony : You did it to me, remember? Spike : All right. All right, I'll go. Just-- (He falls.) Harmony : What? Spike : Can I have someone to eat? She goes to stake him and he runs off. Cut to the outside of a church. Inside we see Buffy walking around. Buffy : Father gabriel? Father gabriel? (She goes through a set of double doors.) Father? Are you out here? (She sees the indian in the middle of slicing the throat of the priest he's hung.) God. Buffy runs the rest of the way to the indian and punches him in the stomach. She then redirects him a few feet away. He gets up to a defensive crouch, in a fighting stance. Indian : You can't stop me. Buffy : You're very wrong about that. He rushes her again, but she sidesteps him and redirects him forward, which makes him slam his head into a conviently low hung bell. He lands a few feet back, gets up and tries to slice Buffy with his knife. She dodges back again. He tries to punch her and she dodges, making him hit an ornemental stand. Hus : Yaugh! (They fall and he is on top of her, wielding a knife.) I am vengeance. I am my people's cry. They call for hus, for the avenging spirit to carve out justice. Buffy : They tell you to start an ear collection? (She kicks high, which throws him off. She rolls over, punching him, then slams his knife arm into a tree but he doesn't let go. He punches her, but she kicks the legs out from under him. She grabs him and he's stuck holding his knife to his throat.) Hus : You slaughtered my people. Now you kill their spirit. This is a great day for you. She shoves him away and he gets up. Then he turns into a group of bats and they fly off. [SCENE_BREAK] ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ Cut to Buffy and Giles in his kitchen again. They're back to getting dinner ready. Buffy's checking the settings on the stove and Giles peeling vegetables in the sink. Giles : It's clear we're dealing with a spirit of some kind. It's very common for indian spirits to change to animal form. Buffy : It's plenty uncommon for me to freeze up during a fight. I mean, I had the guy, I was ready for the take-down, and I stopped. And native american. Giles : Sorry? Buffy : We don't say "indian." Giles : Oh, right. Yes, yes. Um, always behind on the terms. Still trying not to refer to you lot as "bloody colonials." Buffy : And the thing is, I like my evil like I like my men-- evil. You know, "straight up, black hat, "Tied to the train tracks, soon my electro-ray will destroy metropolis" bad. Not all mixed up with guilt and the destruction of an indigenous culture. Giles : This spirit warrior-- hus, you called him-- Has killed innocent people. Buffy : Ok. You know what? We need to boil those and put them through the ricer. Giles : I don't think I have a ricer. Buffy : You don't have a ricer? What do you mean? How could someone not have a ricer? Giles : Well, do you have one at home? Buffy : I don't know. What's a ricer? Giles : We'll mash them with forks, much like the pilgrims must have. Did you catch the part about the innocent people? Buffy : Yes. Ok? And I do want to stop him. I'd just like to find a non-slayee way to do it. There's a knock at the door. Buffy opens it and we see Willow standing with a huge pile of books. Buffy : Hey. Willow : Hey. Buffy : Peas? Willow : Peas. Buffy takes the small box of peas leaving Willow to struggle with a mound of books. Buffy : These are frozen. Giles : What's all that? Willow : Atrocities. I got the full poop on the chumash indians and our fabulous buried mission. Buffy : You said you were going to get fresh ones. Willow : Atrocities? Buffy : Peas. They come in little pods. You were going to shell them. Willow : I didn't have time. I was busy reading about the chumash war. Giles : The chumash were peaceful. Willow : Oh, they were peaceful, all right. They were fluffy indigenous kittens, till we came along. Buffy : They're gonna be mushy. Willow : They won't be mushy. Giles : I like mushy peas. Buffy : You're the reason we had to have pilgrims in the first place. So what happened to the chumash? Willow : How about imprisonment, forced labor, herded like animals into a mission full of bad european diseases. Buffy : Boy. Cultural partnership center really didn't stress any of that stuff. Willow : Not even a diorama. And it gets better. The few chumash who tried to rebel were hanged. And when a group was accused of stealing cattle, they were killed-- Men, women, and children. And for proof to bring back to their accusers... Giles : They cut off their ears? Buffy : So hus wasn't kidding about the rightful vengeance routine. Giles : He's recreating all the wrongs done to his people. And it's up to us to stop him. Buffy : Yes, but after dinner, right? Willow : Are you sure we shouldn't be helping him? Giles : No, I think perhaps we won't help the angry spirit with his rape and pillage and murder. Willow : Well, ok, no, but we should be helping him redress his wrongs. Bring the atrocities to light. Giles : If the history books are full of them, I'd say they already are. Willow : Giving his land back. Giles : It's not exactly ours to give. Willow : I don't think you wanna help. I think you just wanna slay the demon, then go-- La la la Giles : And I think your sympathy for his plight has blinded you to certain urgent facts. We have to stop this thing. Willow : Ok, unfeeling guy. Giles : Willow, that's not fair. Buffy : (Running to the kitchen.) I have to baste. Giles : Willow, I-- (in hushed tones)I have reason to believe buffy herself may be in particular danger from this menace. Willow : You mean... Angel? I saw him, too. Giles : That's not terribly stealthy of him. Willow : I think he's lost his edge. Giles : But buffy doesn't know. Willow : Oh, no, not a peep. Giles : Well, that's good, but this is why I think we should all keep a level head in this. Willow : And I happen to think mine is the level head, and yours is the one things would roll off of. There is another knock at the door. Giles opens it and Anya and Xander are there. Xander : Happy thanksgiving. Giles : Xander. You look like death. Willow : Are you ok? Buffy : You didn't bring rolls? Xander and Anya walk in. Xander lays on the couch and Anya tends to them. Xander : The doctor couldn't figure out was up with me. He said I had a lot of symptoms that didn't connect. Buffy : I think they do connect. Xander : What, to this chumash spirit vengeance guy? Buffy : Didn't you say the chumash got all diseased when they were all holed up in the mission? Willow : Yeah. This has a better account of everything. It lists the various-- Xander : Various? As in... Willow : Well, the important thing is not to panic. Xander : You just recited the mystical panic-causing incantation, so little hope there. Let's talk about the various. Willow : Well, they did suffer from malaria, some smallpox-- Anya : I was gonna say smallpox. Willow : (Softly mumbly) You know, syphilis, but basically-- Xander : (In shock.) Syphilis? Willow : Well, but this is probably mystical, and it'll all go away as soon as-- Xander : As soon as what? Willow : We still don't know what we're gonna do. Well, maybe I can find something. Let's give him some land. Giles : I'm sure that'll clear everything right up. Willow : Sarcasm accomplishes nothing, giles. Giles : It's sort of an end in itself. Xander : Can we come rocketing back to the part about me and my new syphilis? Anya : (Stroking his forehead.) It'll make you blind and insane, but it won't kill you. The smallpox will. Willow : Maybe there's a wiccan spell that can cure it. Something regular medicine doesn't know. Ooh, there was a potion. (She looks through a book and pulls out a piece of paper and begins reading.) Sage, salt...Onion? Buffy : That's the stuffing. Xander : Oh, god. Anya : Uh, you're gonna get vesicles and pustules. They have pictures. (Tries to show him the book.) Xander : I hate this guy. Willow : He's just doing what was done to him. Xander : I didn't give him syphilis. Giles : No, but you freed his spirit, and after a century of unrest, he saw you as one of his oppressors. Xander : What, so he rises up and infects the first guy he sees? That's no fair. Willow : Like you've never woken up cranky? Giles : But why the others? Why them particularly? Xander : So we take this guy out. Buffy, it is for to be slaying sometime soon, yeah? Buffy : (Looking up from her stirring.) That's sort of the question before the court. Xander : Question? Willow : There are 2 sides to it. Xander : Slaying him? The representative from syphilis votes yea. Willow : It's not that simple. Xander : He's a vengeance demon. You don't talk to vengeance demons. You kill them. Anya : (Drawing back.) I didn't know you felt that way. Xander : (Totally confused.) What? Willow : Anyway, he's a spirit, not a demon. Giles : Yes, and we've never faced this sort of spirit before. We really don't know what will kill it. Willow : Again with the killing. Giles : Figuratively speaking. Or bind it or whatever. Yes, willow, we all appreciate your perspective. Anya : Sometimes vengeance is justified. Xander : You know that I didn't mean you. Willow : I don't think anyone appreciates the truth of the situation. Giles : Oh, I think we do. Buffy : (Getting up abruptly holding the bowl.) This is no good! It needs more condensed milk. (She flees into the kitchen.) Giles : Buffy, xander's in real danger. Are you sure the solution is pie? Buffy : (Adding more condensed milk.) Over bickering and confusion, I'll take pie. We will find a solution. And we will have a nice dinner, ok? Both. End of story. I'm having thanksgiving, and it'll be perfect. Giles : Hus won't stop. Vengeance is never sated, buffy. Hatred is a cycle. All he will do is kill. There's a knock at the door. Buffy goes to answer it and Spike is standing there, cowering below a blanket. Smoke rises as he's being seared by the indirect sun. Spike : Help me. (Buffy shoves him back and he goes tumbling.) Ohh! What part of help me do you not understand? Buffy : The part where I help you. Spike : Come on, I'm parboiling out here. Buffy : (Giles hands her a stake.) Want me to help make it quicker? Spike : Invite me in. Giles : No. It's fairly unlikely. Spike : Oh, damn it! look, I'm safe. I can't bite anyone. Willow, tell' em what I did. Willow : You said you were gonna kill me, then buffy. Spike : Yes, bad, but let's skip that part and get to the part where I couldn't bite you. Willow : It's true. He had trouble perfoing. Spike : Yeah, well, it looks like they've done me for good. Um... Buffy : What are you saying? Spike : I'm saying that spike had a little trip to the vet and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore. I can't bite anything. I can't even hit people. Buffy : So you haven't murdered anybody lately? Let's be best pals. Spike : I've got information. About the soldier boys you were fighting. Got the inside scoop. Come on, what have you got to be afraid of? Cut to Hus performing a ritual to summon other spirits. Hus : First people who dwell in mishupashup, hear me and descend. Walk with me upon itiashup again. Hear me also, nunashush. Spirits from below... Creatures of the night... Take human form and join the battle. Bring me my revenge. We see a cloud of green smoke which turns into a dozen warriors. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Cut to Spike sitting in a chair, being bound by rope by Buffy. Spike : G Grrr. Bloody hell, woman. You're cuttin' off my circulation. Buffy : You don't have any circulation. Spike : Well, it pinches. Buffy : Get used to it. I have more important things to worry about. Spike : I came to you in friendship. (Buffy gives him a look.) Well, all right, seething hatred, but I've got useful information, and I feel I'm being mistreated. Buffy : So tell me everything you know. Spike : I'm too hungry to remember everything. Buffy : Then sit. Anya : (At the stove stirring a pot.) Uh, how much butter goes in with these? Buffy : About half a stick and a quarter cup of brandy. (To Giles.) You do have brandy, don't you? Giles : What? Oh, yes. Um, on the bookcase. Spike : I wouldn't say no to a brandy. Buffy : What's wrong? Giles : The victims. Apart from xander, Hus has targeted authority figures. Father gabriel, the curator of the cultural center. Who else fits this pattern? Buffy : Just a small brandy. Buffy : The dean. Dean guerrero. He's the king of us, And he was at the ceremony. Giles : Likely candidate. We should warn him. Buffy : Will, anything in those books about how to stop a native american spirit guy? Some nice, non-judgmental way to, you know, kill him? Willow : I'm not gonna help you kill him. I'm not on board. Buffy : What choice do we have? Willow : Buffy, this isn't a western. We're not at fort...Giles with the cavalry coming to save us. It's one lonely guy. Oppressed warrior guy who's just trying to... Buffy : Kill a lot of people? Willow : I didn't say he was right. Buffy : Will, you know how bad I feel about this. It's eating me up-- (To Anya.) 1/4 Cup of brandy and let it simmer-- (To Willow.) But even though it's hard, we have to end this. Yes, he's been wronged, And I personally would be ready to apologize-- Spike : Oh, someone put a stake in me. Xander : You got a lot of volunteers in here. Spike : I just can't take all this mamby-pamby boo-hooing about the bloody indians. Buffy : Uh, the preferred term-- Spike : You won. All right? You came in and you killed them and you took their land. That's what conquering nations do. It's what caesar did, and he's not going around saying, "I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it." The history of the world isn't people making friends. You had better weapons, and you massacred them. End of story. Buffy : Well, I think the spaniards actually did a lot of-- Not that I don't like spaniards. Spike : Listen to you. How you gonna fight anyone with that attitude? Willow : We don't wanna fight anyone. Buffy : I just wanna have thanksgiving. Spike : Heh heh. Yeah...Good luck. Willow : If we could talk to him-- Spike : You exterminated his race. What could you possibly say that would make him feel better? It's kill or be killed here. Take your bloody pick. Xander : Maybe it's the syphilis talking, but... Some of that made sense. Giles : I made these points earlier, but fine, no one listens to me. Buffy : Fine, ok? But someone still has to go warn the dean. Willow : I'll go. I need the air. Buffy : Not alone. Anya : I'll go. Xander : Me, too. Buffy : Sure you're up to it? Spike : Oh, leave that one. He looks like he's ready to drop any minute, and I think I can eat someone if he's already dead. Xander : (Getting up.) I'm up to it. Giles : I'll keep on looking for a solution. Buffy : Yeah. Guys, the dean's house is up past the gym. And hurry. Dinner's in an hour! Spike : Hey, when do I get fed? Buffy : Later. I hope the others are ok. Spike : You know what happens to vampires who don't get to feed? Buffy : I always wondered that. Giles, plates. Spike : Living skeletons, mate. Like famine pictures from those dusty countries, only not half as funny. Buffy : You can have gravy. That has blood in it, right? Spike : Do you know what else has blood in it? Blood. Buffy : Do I have to gag you? Because I am not gonna listen to you whine all the way through my dinner. It's gonna be a nice, quiet, civilized-- Suddenly an arrow pierces the decrotive scarecrow on the table. We see Hus in the window with a bow and arrow. Buffy : You. Listen, maybe I wasn't clear before about how terrible we all feel. 'Cause we're trying to help. Spike : What's going on?! Giles : It isn't working. Buffy : Uh, you can have casinos now. Giles : Get down! Giles and Buffy crouch behind the table as arrows rain through the window. Spike : What about me? You gonna leave me here like this? (An arrow hits him a few inches to the right of his heart.) Hey! Watch the heart! Willow, Anya and Xander are leaving the deans house. Anya : Well, that was a waste of time. Xander : I think he thought we were crazy. Willow : Maybe if anya hadn't opened the conversation with, "Everybody got both ears?" Anya : I liked his wife. She gave me pie. Willow : So what do we do now? Xander : We could stay here and stand watch, or I just don't-- Angel : (Appearing before them. ) Willow. Xander : Angel? Anya : So this is angel. He's large and glowery, isn't he? Xander : He's evil again. Angel : I'm not evil again. Why does everyone think that? Willow : Angel's here to protect buffy. Angel : I haven't been evil for a long time. Willow : She's not supposed to know he's here. Angel, do you have something new? Angel : Yeah. All the chumash weapons are missing from the cultural center. Something's up. Where's buffy? Willow : Still at giles'. She sent us to check on dean guerrero. Angel : Why the dean? Willow : We think he's going after someone in charge. A leader? Angel : He's a warrior. To a warrior, the leader means the strongest fighter. Willow : Buffy. Angel : He's formed a raiding party. Willow : We gotta get over there. Angel : I'll call her. You get back fast. He crouches down and snaps the chain lock on a bicycle. The phone rings at Giles. He picks it up. Giles : H-hello? Yes. ... Yes, w-w-we're well aware of that. ... We-we're under siege now, actually. ... Thank you. Buffy : Who was that? Giles : A...Someone. Uh, we need a plan. Buffy : Yes, let's talk about it some more. Where's your weapons chest? Giles : Over there. (He indicates the chest across the room.) Buffy sidles over to the chest after a moments pause, but is shot in the arm by an arrow. Buffy : Ohh! Giles : Buffy! Spike : (Riddled with arrows.) Remember that conquering nation thing? Forget it. Apologize. Buffy : Shut up, spike. Spike : Fine, I'll do it myself. Hey, sorry. Sorry about that, chief. Buffy : How many? Giles : Uh, the leader upstairs. 2 By the living room windows. Uh, one through the window by the door. Buffy : It's too many. We need help. Spike : Ok, one... 2... 3. Ow! Bloody hell! Ohh! Buffy : Giles, these guys-- they don't die. Giles : (Wrestling with an Indian who has him by the neck.) Bit busy over here. Spike : (Falling and carrying the chair with him.) Hey! Willow : (Standing with Anya continuing to beat the Indian with a shovel.) Why...Don't...You...Die?! Angel runs up, grabs the Indian and snaps his neck with a deft twist. Anya : What's he like when he is evil? Angel is grabbed from behind by the neck and struggles. Angel : Help the others! Buffy fighting with Hus slices him with his knife. This leaves a cut. Buffy : Your knife can kill you. Hus turns into a large bear. Buffy : A bear! Spike : You made a bear! Buffy : I didn't mean to. Spike : Undo it! Undo it! Xander : Hey, gentle ben, over here. (He starts throwing food at him.)That's for giving me syphilis. Buffy stabs the bear in the back as he's distracted by Xander. Spike : What happened? Did we win? Everyone is gathered around the table eating. Willow : I feel lousy. Giles : Turkey came out rather splendidly. Buffy : Oh, it was yummy. Willow : It's just...Did you see me? 2 Seconds of conflict with an indigenous person, and I turned into general custer. Giles : Violence does that. Instinct takes over. Spike : Yeah, that's the fun. Buffy : Nobody asked you. Spike : Oh, lay off. You all had a fine meal. Willow : But me...An entire siege. Spike : You'd think one of you would bleed a little. Giles : Good work, buffy... On both counts. Buffy : Thanks. Giles : Well, you know, you should be very pleased. Buffy : Wasn't exactly a perfect thanksgiving. Willow : I don't know. Seemed kinda right to me. A bunch of anticipation, a big fight, and now we're all sleepy. And we did all survive. Buffy : I guess that much is true. Buffy : First thanksgiving on my own, and we all got through it. Xander : (Patting Anya on the shoulder.) And you know what? I think my syphilis is clearing right up. Buffy : And they say romance is dead. Or maybe they just wish it. Willow : Well, maybe we started a new tradition this year. (She gets a look from everyone.) Maybe not. But at least we all worked together. It was like old times. Xander : Yeah, especially with angel being here and everything. Everyone looks at Buffy.

Plan: A: Xander; Q: Who accidentally releases Hus? A: Hus (Tod Thawley; Q: What is the name of the Native American vengeance spirit? A: Angel; Q: Who arrives in Sunnydale to protect Buffy from Hus? A: Sunnydale; Q: Where does Angel secretly arrive to protect Buffy from Hus? A: Buffy; Q: Who is attempting a perfect Thanksgiving? A: Spike; Q: Who seeks the Scoobies' help? Summary: Xander accidentally releases Hus (Tod Thawley), a Native American vengeance spirit . Angel secretly arrives in Sunnydale to protect Buffy (who is attempting a perfect Thanksgiving) from the spirit. Spike seeks the Scoobies' help.

Outside the Kerwin house. (Ashley walks outside and meets up with Jimmy and Terri. Jimmy puts his arm around her as they walk.) Jimmy: Hey. You know, the thing about turning 14, it's like, I'm a man now. Ashley: Oh, yeah? In what country? Terri: Where are your parents taking you this year, Jimmy? Jimmy: Actually, my mom's cooking. Ashley: Now, is this for real cooking or "let's order a pizza" cooking? Jimmy: For real cooking. Lobster, for you, me, and dad. Ashley: You mean, we're actually going to have dinner with your parents at your house? I don't believe it. Jimmy: Lobster's no big deal. Just throw 'em in a pot. Terri: And then they die, slowly, screaming. Ashley: Thanks for sharing. Degrassi Jimmy: (kisses Ashley on the cheek) Catch you later. (After he leaves, she rolls her eyes at Terri.) Terri: What? You hate lobster? You hate his parents? Ashley: I don't hate anybody. At least it's not at my house. He has had dinner with us eight days in a row. I know, poor me. My boyfriend and my parents actually get along. Terri: Yes, that must really suck. Ashley: It's just, I already have a little brother, I don't need another one. Outside (Ashley, Paige, and Terri are outside sitting at table. Terri is reading a quiz to Ashley about Love.) Terri: When you see your man, do you: A-Indifferent, B-Nauseous, C-Relieved or D-The earth moved. Ashley: C-Relieved. He's a guy, not an earthquake. Paige: What, he doesn't vibrate on your Richter scale? Terri: Why does that sound so gross? (As she talks, Jimmy and his friends come up to them.) Ashley: Jimmy, come on, we're kind of in the middle of this. Go play football. You don't want to hear this stuff. It's stupid. Guy: Hey Jimmy, you coming or what? Jimmy: Pass up a chance to hear my girl's inner thoughts? Are you kidding? (Hugs Ash) So, you want to hang out with Mr. Right tonight? Ashley: Tonight? I, uh, can't. Terri's coming over, girls night. We talked about it yesterday, remember? Jimmy: Girls Night, huh? That's cool. (He gets up and leaves taking the basketball with him, he dribbles it, then hands it to Ashley) Media Immersion (Emma is studying for a test in Science.) Sean: I found the coolest site, yesterday. It shows how the positions of the stars affect your personality. Emma: Yeah, that's called astrology. Manny: Cool, I'm a Leo. What does it say about me? Emma: Manny, how many moons on Jupiter? Manny: I don't know, a lot. Now, read mine. Emma: 13. And which planets have rings? Sean: Ok, I need your date of birth and your place of birth. Manny: Well, I was born in Manila. Emma: Hello, the test is on astronomy, not astrology. Sean: Ok, now I need your birth date. Emma: Doesn't anyone care that we have a science quiz in, oh, 15 minutes? Manny: August 15, 1989. Emma: Blah, blah, blah! (Shuts her book) I can't even think! (To Manny) Are you coming? Manny tells Sean without saying that Emma is crazy. Emma: I saw that! (They leave) Science Class (It shows everyone working on the quiz, when, all of a sudden the bell rings. Emma slams down her pencil.) Emma: I failed. I totally failed. Manny: Em, you studied all last night. Emma: Yeah, but I was counting on this morning, to refresh. Manny: Wow, maybe you're a workaholic. Emma: I am not a workaholic. Some of us want to make it university. I want a career in something other than horoscopes. (She leaves in a huff) Outside Ashley's (Ashley and Terri are walking to Ashley's, eating food.) Terri: I am so behind in Kwan's Class. I should spend the night catching up. Ashley: Yeah, me too, Ter. But not tonight. Tonight's all about having... (She sees Jimmy in the driveway helping Toby with basketball even though she told Jimmy not to come over) Jimmy: (To Toby)...Don't suffocate it. It'll come to you. (They start to play, but they notice Ashley and Terri) Hey. Ashley: Hey. Jimmy: (As they walk past them into the house) Just pretend I'm not even here. Ashley: So much for girls night. It shows Jimmy and Toby playing after the girls leave. Inside The Kerwin House (Ashley shuts the door after they go in.) Ashley: Pretend he's not here? He is here. Kate: Hi, girls. Ashley: Hi, Mom. Kate: Oh, Terri. I almost forgot you're staying for dinner. Ashley: Um, we have enough, don't we? Kate: Yeah, even though Jimmy eats like a horse. Ashley: Mom... Kate: It's okay, we have enough. Ashley: Jimmy is not staying for dinner! Terri: Um, I'm gonna go, you know. Kate: Ok, what's going on? Ashley: Nothing, I'm sick of him eating here every night. Kate: Well, we don't have to invite him. But, I just feel bad for the kid. He's always alone. I wonder about his parents sometimes. (Jimmy and Toby come in) Toby: Kate, can Jimmy stay for dinner? You said you have enough food. Kate: Well, um... Ashley: Just never mind. Just forget about it. It's fine. (Jimmy and Toby high five each other as they leave) Nelson house (Emma is watching a sad show on TV, eating chips and crying.) TV Guy: Laura, please. We're born alone, we die alone. We don't want to live our life alone. TV Girl: Jack, our love can't save us now. It's too late. TV Guy: What? Love is everything. We've got it. We've got it right in our hands. The clothes we wear... (Spike enters the room.) Spike: Emma, mind taking out the garbage? Honey, what's wrong? Emma: Nothing. Spike: Em, those shows are designed to upset people. Emma: It's just, we're so small and the universe is so massive. We're just little specs, floating, alone. Spike: Uh-oh. Solar system anxiety. I remember it well. Big huge universe, tiny little me. What's the point? You can't beat it. But, you can shop. I did well this week. Let's go spend my tips. It's called retail therapy. (They high five) The mall (Emma and her mom are walking, eating ice cream and have shopping bags with them.) Emma: I like retail therapy. And I love my new sweater. It'll go with everything. My little blue skirt, my blue chinos, my jeans. Guy They Pass By: Oh, I'd like a lick of that. Spike: (Turns around) Excuse me? Guy: I'd like a lick of your cone. Sue me. Spike: I probably could because I don't think that's what you meant. Emma: Mom... Spike: Guess what? You don't talk to women like that, especially young women. Guy: It was a joke, I was just kidding. Spike: My daughter and I came here to shop, not to be harassed by some pig masquerading as a comedian. When you talk to women like that, it's scary. It makes us feel bad. Don't do it again. (He walks away) Emma: Mom, can we go now? I am mildly dying. Spike: See? This is the problem. You're embarrassed because of what he said. (They are walking as she talks) It's so wrong. Seriously Emma, don't ever let a guy make you feel bad just for being female, okay? Promise. Kerwin House (Ashley is saying good-bye to Jimmy.) Jimmy: See you tomorrow. (They kiss and hug) (After he leaves, she goes inside.) Inside Ashley: (With her head on the wall) Toby, you can't just ask Jimmy for dinner every single night, okay? Toby: He's your boyfriend. Ashley: Yeah and he's driving me crazy. (Turns around and leans against the door) Terri: (They walk away from the door) He's totally sweet. Ashley: He's totally here all the time. It's suffocating. You know what? At this point, I'm just about ready to break up with him. (When Toby hears this, he drops something that makes a loud noise because he is shocked. When Ashley and Terri look at him, he picks it up.) Degrassi-Hall (Emma is walking with Manny.) Emma: See? It goes with everything. (She turns around to show Manny when JT and Toby show up) JT: Wow, sexy shirt. Manny: Em, don't get mad. Emma: Please. It's not exactly like JT is Mr. Fashion Forward. JT: Fashion who? Toby: Uh, JT, I'll see you in homeroom. (Toby stops at Jimmy's decorated locker for his birthday. It says "Happy Birthday Jimmy, Luv Ashley", and it in the middle, it has a picture of Jimmy and Ashley, with his arm around her and other kids have signed it.) Kids: Happy Birthday, Jimmy. (They spray him with Silly String) Jimmy: (Opening his locker) Hey, Tobs, did you master that move I taught you? Toby: Almost. Happy Birthday. Jimmy: Thanks. We can work on it later. Toby: Great, later. Uh, you know, I've been thinking, about what you said last night, you know, about when you're trying to master a really complicated move, leave it alone for a while, come back to it later. Jimmy: Yeah. Toby: You know, give it a rest. Don't suffocate it. Kind of like with girls. Jimmy: Tobs, what are you saying? Toby: Nothing, nothing. It's just interestingly similar, that's all. No biggie. Jimmy: What did Ashley say? Come on, you're my friend. What, is she feeling suffocated? (Toby nods) Like-like, we're together too much? (Toby nods) She doesn't want to break up, does she? (Toby nods) (Jimmy walks away. Toby shuts Jimmy's locker and then lays down the floor) Outside (Toby is sitting on a bench with JT, Emma, and Manny.) JT: You shouldn't have said anything. Manny: JT, Jimmy's like Toby's older brother. He had to tell him. Emma: Yeah, but Ashley is his older sister. Sort of. Maybe she was just having a bad day. Toby: More like a bad decade. Guy: Hey, Sean! (Sean comes up to them.) Toby: Before this decade gets any worse. (JT and Toby leave) Sean: Hey, Emma. Emma: Sean, what's up? Sean: (Takes a sip of his drink) Nothing. Listen, I, uh, came to apologize about that astrology thing. Emma: No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have acted like that. Maybe you could do my horoscope on the computer. It could be kind of fun, and we have time before class. Sean: Yeah that'd be great. (Emma gets up, but Manny sits her back down.) Manny: Emma, did you sit in something? Emma: What? No, I. (Looks at the back of her skirt and sits down after getting up) Sean: You coming? Emma: I don't know. What do I do? Manny: I don't know. This hasn't happened to me yet. Emma: Um, no. I don't think we have time for the horoscopes. So, you should go, to class, now. (He leaves) Manny: (breathing heavily) Okay, don't panic. Everything's going to be fine. We'll figure out something. Front of School Ashley: I can't break up with him tonight. Terri: Why not? Ashley: It's his birthday. (Jimmy approaches.) Ashley: Oh, Jimmy, hey. We were just, um... Jimmy: You don't have to come tonight. Ashley: What? Jimmy, it's your birthday, of course I'm coming. Jimmy: I'm just saying. (He leaves.) Hall (Emma is walking inside with Manny behind her, hiding the back of Emma's skirt.) Manny: We should celebrate. Emma: Celebrate what exactly? Manny: Becoming a woman. Em, you can get pregnant now. Emma: Oh, great. Can we celebrate by finding me a washroom? [SCENE_BREAK] Girls Washroom Manny: Yesterday, I thought you were a workaholic. It was just PMS. Emma: Manny, I can't go to class like this. Manny: Em, we have a book report to do. Do you have a jacket? You could tie it around your waist. Emma: I don't have a jacket, it's like summer outside. Manny: I know, your gym shorts. Emma: I brought them home to wash. Manny: Me too. I'll figure out something. (She leaves) Emma: Manny, don't leave me. Hall Ashley: Hey Tobs, wait up. Can you remind Mom that I'm at Jimmy's for dinner tonight? Toby: Why are you even going, I mean, if you're going to dump him? Ashley: Oh, real nice, Toby. Listening in on my private conversation. Toby: You were three feet away. Ash, Jimmy's amazing. He's nice to you, he's nice to me. Ashley: He's always around, he's always there in my face. Toby: You're being just like our parents. One hint of trouble and they walk. Ashley: Toby, my dad's gay it's not exactly one hint of trouble. Oh, you don't understand anything! Toby: You don't bring people in your life just to throw them away. (Toby walks away. Ashley groans and hits her head with her binder.) Girls Washroom (Emma is looking at her skirt, when Paige comes in.) Emma: Manny, what took you- Paige: Wow, Little Miss Save The World's skipping a class. You're not protesting something, are you? (Notices Emma's skirt) Uh-oh. Your friend came to visit. Hun, you don't wear light colors when you're getting your period. Emma: I didn't know. It's my first time, ok? Just leave me alone. (She enters a stall. Paige goes in the one next to it) Paige: (opens her purse) I've got a pad, if you need it. I mean, you could get one from the office, but, that's kind of a drag. Emma: Ew. Imagine. "Mr. Raditch, could I have a maxi pad?" Paige: Mini. But, yeah, totally gross. (Hands Emma the pad) It's got wings. Emma: Man, I am so not ready for this. Paige: Hey, you'll get boobs now. Emma: Like I want boobs. Paige: You might at some point. They're actually really great. Emma: But, I mean, I liked being a kid. Paige: You're still a kid. Just, with a mini pad. Big deal. Emma: So, I'm not going to turn into... Paige: Me? Honey, you wish. (As Paige comes out of the stall, Manny runs in.) Manny: Emma! Paige: What? It's the girls washroom. Sue me. (Emma comes out. Manny hands her the shorts she got for her. She unfolds them and they're way too big for Emma.) Ms. Kwan's Class (JT + Toby are finishing their book report presentation.) JT: So, in the end, everyone died and everyone was really sad. Toby: Really, really sad. And that's our book report on how Bantepool Changes Everything. Thank you. (As they sit down, JT hands Ms. Kwan their report) Ms. Kwan: It would have been nice to hear your interpretation on the book, boys, instead of a plot synopsis, but at.... (Emma and Manny come in.) Manny: Sorry, Ms. Kwan. We had a bit of a- Emma: Emergency. Ms. Kwan: Really? Well, you can give me the details after class, but, right now, book report please. Emma: okay, our book was I heard the owl call my- Toby: Gym shorts? Ms. Kwan: Ssh. JT: Yo, Yo. Puff Emma's in the house. Girl: Good one, JT. (Ms. Kwan shakes her head) Emma: This book is a bit- JT: Too big for you? Emma: Metaphorical. Ms. Kwan: Guys, pull yourself together. Emma: Do you have a problem? Manny: Em, it's ok. We can just... JT: Aw, did Emmy pee her pants? Emma: No, I just got my period, for the first time. (Toby drops his pen. Sean gets a loom of shock on his face) Menstruation. You may have heard of it. It happens to, oh, 50 percent of the population. Perfectly natural. Nothing to be ashamed of, right Ms. Kwan? Ms. Kwan: Absolutely right Emma. Emma: Now, can we continue? (JT and Toby nod) Our book was I heard the owl call my name. It's a bit metaphorical because it relates the life of a young priest... Manny: Who didn't like owls very much. (As they talk, they try to keep Emma's shorts up) Jimmy's House (Jimmy and Ashley go inside and Ashley turns on the lights.) Ashley: Well, what did you ask for? Jimmy: Told my dad I wanted a snowboard. He probably didn't even hear me. Mom? Dad? I'm home. They're not like your family, ok? (Ashley puts down the balloon and gift she was holding on a table) 10 bucks says she's picking up Chinese. (He puts down his backpack) She left me a message. Ashley: It's cool. I love Chinese. (He checks the messages) Is everything ok? Jimmy: Mom just called to tell me her and dad are working late again. She said I should order myself a pizza. Ashley: Well, why don't we have your birthday at my house? My mom's making wings. Jimmy: Ash, forget it. Look, can we just break up and get this over with? Ashley: What? Jimmy: You're feeling suffocated, right? Toby told me. Ashley: Don't listen to what Toby says. He doesn't know anything. Jimmy: So he was wrong? You don't want to break up? Ashley: Look, can we just forget this? It's your birthday. Jimmy: Oh, I get it. You don't want to break up with me because it's my birthday. What, is that like my birthday present? Ashley: Jimmy... Jimmy: You want to break up, Ash? Then, let's break up, now, okay? It's over. So go. Get out of here. What, are you deaf? Go! (She runs out) (Jimmy calls a pizza place to order pizza) Hi, Antonio, it's Jimmy. Yeah, the usual. Medium pepperoni, thanks. (He hangs up the phone) Outside Degrassi (Emma has a petition that a girl is signing.) Manny: So, you feeling okay? Emma: Oh yeah Manny I love being a woman. I don't feel any different. Girl: Here you go. Emma: But I did have this idea. Like my mom says, never be embarrassed to be female. Paige, do you wanna sign my petition to get a tampon dispenser installed in the girls washroom? Paige: Yeah, sure. (Signs it) (Sean rides by on his bike.) Paige: Hey, Sean! Wanna sign Emma's petition, for tampons? Sean: Sure. If Emma came up with it, it's gotta be a good idea. (Paige rolls her eyes and leaves. Sean signs it and leaves. Emma is very happy about what he did.) Hall (Ashley opens her locker. We see a picture of Jimmy with his arms open wide. It says, "Ashley, I love you this much. XO, Jimmy." She touches it, looking sad, then touches another picture in her locker of her and Jimmy. She sees him at his locker. He opens it and looks at a picture of Ashley in his locker. He touches it, then, rips it off and puts it away. Ashley shuts her locker. She starts to leave, but decides to approach Jimmy.) Ashley: Hey Jimmy. Jimmy: What do you want? Ashley: I just wanted to make sure you were all right. Jimmy: I'm fine. Thanks for asking. (He shuts his locker) Ashley: Jimmy, please. Can we talk? Jimmy: I think we talked enough last night. Ashley: I just think that maybe I over reacted. Maybe I didn't mean to call you... Jimmy: Suffocating? Clingy? A suction cup? Ashley: Jimmy, please. (She hugs him) Jimmy: You're not doing this just because you feel sorry for me, are you? Ashley: Of course not. Jimmy: I love you, Ash. (She hugs him again.)

Plan: A: his parents; Q: Who is Jimmy's main source of income? A: all his time; Q: How much time does Jimmy spend at Ashley's? A: her mood swings; Q: What does Emma learn is not just because of stress when she gets her first period? Summary: With his parents working constantly, Jimmy starts to spend all his time at Ashley's, which leaves her feeling smothered. Meanwhile, Emma learns her mood swings are not just because of stress when she gets her first period.

Opening credits JACK : (v.o.) Torchwood : outside the government, beyond the police, fighting for the future on behalf of the human race. The 21st Century is when everything changes. And Torchwood is ready. INT. HALLORAN APARTMENT - BEDROOM - NIGHT Everything is quiet as Mike and Beth Halloran are in bed for the night. Beth is still awake. She hears a soft noise coming from the other room. She sits up. BETH : Mike. Mike sits up, now awake. BETH : Did you hear that ? MIKE : Someone's in the living room ! They're now both awake. Mike turns the lights on. BETH : Are you going to go in there ? MIKE : Are you ? She gives him a look. He turns and reaches for the cricket bat under his bed. He gets up and heads slowly toward the door. Beth grabs the cell phone and dials. Mike heads for the bedroom door, his bat raised. OPERATOR : (from phone) Emergency. Which service ? BETH : (to phone) Police. MIKE : Who's there ? Mike exits the bedroom. BETH : (to phone, rushed & quiet) My name's Beth Halloran, I'm at 114 Brodsky Gardens. I think there's a burglar in the flat. Come quickly. Mike is thrown back into the room and hits the wall. Beth screams. Burglar 1 grabs Mike and pushes him into the room. BURGLAR : Come on then ! Stay down ! BETH : Mike ! Mike ? Beth drops the cell phone on the floor in her haste to get to Mike. BURGLAR : Sit down there ! Beth gets up and climbs out of bed. BETH : There's two of them ! My husband's been injured ! Send an ambulance ! BURGLAR : Stay down while I get the TV stuff unhooked. The burglars approach her. BETH : Wait. Just take whatever you want ! BURGLAR : Keep her quiet. Wait, wait. Did you hear that ? They hear the operator on the phone. OPERATOR : (o.s.) Emergency. Are there any other exits ? She looks at them and takes a shuddering breath. CLOSE UP : ON CELL PHONE The cell phone connection is still open. We can't see anything except for what's on the ground, but we do hear the burglars yelling and screaming, terrified of something. BURGLAR : (o.s.) What's happening ? BURGLAR : (o.s.) Get away ! Get away from me ! A man screams painfully loud and long. BURGLAR : What is that thing ? Oh, please, don't... don't, please... stop ! The bedside lamp falls on the floor. We still can't see what's going on, only that it's not good for the burglars. BURGLAR : Stop, I'm sorry ! What's going on ?! I'm sorry ! (Screams) No-o ! Get away ! No-o ! Focus on the lamp as it gets brighter and brighter. END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS EXT. STREET OUTSIDE HALLORAN BUILDING - NIGHT Police are at the scene out on the street in front the building. The Torchwood vehicle arrives. JACK : (v.o.) Tosh, what happened here ? TOSHIKO : (v.o.) Two IC, one males, one fatality, one seriously wounded after a fall from a fifth-floor window onto a police vehicle. The Torchwood SUV parks to a screeching halt. The doors open. Owen rushes out with his kit and heads over to check on the man. The others get out and follow. Owen looks at the burglar. OWEN : Bloody hell ! (He motions for the officer to give him the IV bag.) Here you are. Has he been stabilized ? Gwen looks up at the building above. JACK : Gwen, Owen, go with him to the hospital. See if he says anything. Interview the husband and wife while you're there. Tosh, with me. Jack turns and heads inside the building. ZOOM up the side of the building. INT. HALLORAN RESIDENCE - BEDROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS Toshiko is checking the damaged bedroom window with her scanner while the officer talks with Jack. OFFICER : (o.s.) Bit weird, this one. Might be one of yours. Nobody saw anything, heard anything. Blah, blah, blah. The usual. Don't know why we bother asking. JACK : Thanks so much. We'll take it from here. Now, if you could just wait outside. The officer turns and heads for the door, and he stops. OFFICER : In my opinion, the husband did it. He was looking for trouble, expecting to be burgled. Toshiko watches them, amused. JACK : Really ? Jack tries again to get the officer to leave. OFFICER : Yeah, look. No other reason I can think of for keeping sports equipment in the bedroom. He indicates the bloodied cricket bat on the floor. JACK : Oh, you should come round to my house for a game of hockey sometime. Jack manages to get the officer out of the room. He closes the door on him. TOSHIKO : Making friends ? JACK : Not really. What have you got ? TOSHIKO : No glass inside, so it was definitely broken out. Jack kneels and examines the dead burglar sitting on the floor. JACK : Police say the stab wounds were caused by some sort of long, narrow blade. (points) Which that isn't. No other weapons in the room could have done this. So how the hell did they manage it ? TOSHIKO : Husband was unconscious, and the wife probably weighs less than I do. I can't see either of them doing this. JACK : When you fear for your life, you'd be surprised what you can do. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOSPITAL - BETH'S ROOM - NIGHT Mike is in bed while Beth sits next to him holding his hand. Gwen stands at the foot of the bed while Owen takes samples from Mike. BETH : I didn't see anything. We all heard this weird noise, then the next thing I know, I'm in the corner and he's just... sitting there, dead. The other one was just gone. GWEN : And then what ? BETH : Nothing. I just stayed there till the police arrived. Couldn't move. (Owen swabs Mike's hand.) I should've checked on Mike. MIKE : Don't be silly. You did the right thing. I'm fine. BETH : Quiet, you. The doctor said you should rest. MIKE : I don't think the doctor meant my mouth. Owen tests the swab. BETH : (deadpans) Actually, he did. He was very specific. He said no talking for a whole week. MIKE : Lies, lies. Why so many lies ? Owen shakes his head at Gwen. Whatever the test was, it was negative. GWEN : Okay, thanks for your time. We'll let you get some rest now. Owen picks up his bag and follows Gwen out. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOSPITAL - HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS Owen and Gwen talk. OWEN : Not a trace of blood on their hands, either of them. He moves his gloves and tosses them into the bin. GWEN : Then who did it ? OWEN : She did, obviously. GWEN : Why "obviously" ? OWEN : Well, look at her. Gwen does. She turns and looks back behind the curtain and finds Beth crying and Mike comforting her. MIKE : (to Beth) It's okay. It's okay. Back on Gwen and Owen. GWEN : Yeah, I can see what you're saying. She's absolutely terrified. OWEN : It's always the one you least suspect -- they're all in the room together, hubby's out cold, and somehow, she survives while two burglars get mangled. She did it, she must have. GWEN : How ? OWEN : I haven't worked that bit out yet, Gwen. GWEN : Oh, I see, I see. She pats his shoulder and heads out. OWEN : All right then, Jessica Fletcher, whodunit ? GWEN : The husband. His wife's in danger, he keeps a cricket bat under the bed. You fill in the blanks from there. OWEN : Right, okay. So, he kills one man, wearing gloves, and then he swallows the murder weapon and the gloves, and then he knocks himself out ? GWEN : Something like that, yeah. OWEN : Right. Owen's earpiece chirps. OWEN : (to Gwen) To be continued. He steps aside to answer the comm. OWEN : (to comm) Yeah ? JACK : (filtered) It's me. Anything ? OWEN : (to comm) No, nothing. They're completely clear. INTERCUT WITH : EXT. STREET OUTSIDE HALLORAN BUILDING - NIGHT Jack is on the comm with Owen. The police car lights flash. JACK : Well, one of them did it. We just need to figure out how. Stay with the burglar all night if you have to, and keep an eye on those two. OWEN : (filtered) Okay, fair enough. JACK : Tosh... Jack heads out. Owen turns back to Gwen. OWEN : Uh, that was Jack. He says that you should stay with the burglar and find out if he knows anything. All night, if you have to... I know... and keep an eye on the other two. GWEN : Brilliant. Brilliant. (Gwen turns to head back to the rooms while Owen heads off in the other direction.) Oh, will you get me a coffee before you go ? Owen turns to get the coffee. OWEN : Yeah, yeah, course. What are teammates for ? (He turns back.) Er... You haven't got a pound for the machine, have you ? The hallway light near them crackles, flickers and turns off. OWEN : Hospitals. They have to fall apart before anyone fixes them. GWEN : (hands him the money) Pound. Coffee. Thank you ! Owen heads out to get the coffee. Gwen turns and waits. INT. HOSPITAL - BURGLAR'S ROOM The burglar is in bed. The heart monitor beeps steadily. Gwen is sitting next to the bed. She nods and catches herself. She looks over at the burglar sleeping in bed. Her eyes close again. She drops her empty coffee cup and it startles her awake again. She picks up the coffee cup, then finds the burglar awake and looking at her. GWEN : Oh, shh, shh ! Oh, you're safe, all right ? You're safe, just tell me who did this to you. His heart rate increases and increases. BURGLAR : The woman... in the flat, keep her away from me ! He flatlines and passes out. The monitor alarm goes off. Nurses enter the room. NURSE : Page the doctor. Can you move, please ? NURSE : Look here, we need to get him lying him down. NURSE : Start charging that. NURSE : Get out. The nurses surround him and get to work. Gwen edges away from the room. [SCENE_BREAK] CLOSE-UP : MIRROR Jack walks into the room. INT. HUB - INTERVIEW ROOM The door slams shut behind him as he grabs the hood off BETH'S head. He tosses the bag aside. JACK : Tell me everything. Beth is sitting at the interview table in the grimy interview room. Her hands are tied in front of her. Gwen is in the room with them and holding some photos close to her chest. BETH : Where am I ? Where's my husband ? JACK : He's safe. BETH : What do you mean, "safe ?" What have you done with him ? JACK : Nothing yet. Jack leans in close, his hands flat on the table. JACK : Tell me what happened in the flat, Beth. It had to be you or Mike, so how did you do it ? BETH : You can't treat people like this. I've been burgled, attacked ! I want a lawyer, I want a phone call. If you're charging me with something... JACK : We're not charging you with anything. We don't have to. And there'll be no lawyer, no phone calls, just us, and this room for as long as it takes. Now, tell me what happened ! BETH : I told her... and the police. INTERCUT WITH : INT. HUB - OBSERVATION WINDOW - CONTINUOUS Ianto and Owen watch the interview from above through the two-way mirror. BETH : (filtered) Please, I don't know anything ! Gwen spreads the crime scene photos she's been carrying out on the table in front of Beth. Beth flinches when she realizes what she's looking at. JACK : Look at them. She looks at the photos of the injuries sustained by the burglars. JACK : The second one just died in the hospital. "Keep her away from me. The woman in the flat." Those were his dying words. Now, why would he say something like that ? BETH : I don't know, I swear. I never touched him. JACK : Is it Mike ? Are you covering for him ? BETH : No ! The light goes out. GWEN : Jack ? Jack leaves the room. GWEN : Beth, we know these men attacked you and your husband. Now, if you fought back, people will understand. It was self-defense. BETH : I promise... I promise I have no idea what happened to them. All I know is that it wasn't me. INT. HUB - OBSERVATION WINDOW - CONTINUOUS Jack walks through the workstations and appears at the window to the interview room with Ianto. Owen steps back. IANTO : "Just us and this room for as long as it takes ?" Terrifying. JACK : Really ? IANTO : Absolutely. Shivers down my spine. JACK : You don't look scared. IANTO : Oh, it... passed. Jack growls with disappointment. He turns and addresses Toshiko, who is working at the computer. JACK : Tosh, anything on the body scan ? Jack sits at his desk. TOSHIKO : Nothing out of the ordinary. JACK : What about the light ? Power surge ? TOSHIKO : Nothing from us. There was an electromagnetic build-up around her, but I can't see how she caused it. OWEN : Same thing happened at the hospital, Jack. Can't be a coincidence. JACK : It's her, I know it is. (To Owen) Okay, let's do some tests, see who or what we're dealing with. OWEN : I'm on it. Owen heads out. Toshiko goes back to the computer. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HUB - CORRIDOR OUTSIDE INTERVIEW ROOM Gwen leads Beth out of the interview room and through the corridor. BETH : What kind of tests ? GWEN : Just little things to clear this all up. Blood samples... BETH : Blood samples ? I haven't done anything ! GWEN : Look... I believe you, but this is our job. Something really strange happened at your flat and we've got to make sure you had nothing to do with it. BETH : I didn't. GWEN : Then you've nothing to worry about. They are doing these tests whether you like it or not, Beth. Don't make this any harder on yourself. Come on. They continue through the corridor. INT. HUB - MAIN FLOOR - CONTINUOUS Gwen and Beth enter the hub through the back near the armory. Beth looks around, taking it all in. BETH : This is where you work ? GWEN : Yep. Cozy, isn't it ? BETH : Who are you people ? Don't you have any windows ? Beth's hands are still tied in front of her. She starts up the steps to the workstation area. GWEN : It wouldn't really be in keeping with the whole secrecy thing, people looking in, you know ? Beth stops and smells a piece of machinery near the steps. Ianto pops his head out from somewhere behind her. IANTO : We don't sniff the subetheric resonator. BETH : Sorry. She walks past them and takes in an eye-full. Ianto steps out past her, leaving the concrete central column open wide and showing the rift manipulator hidden inside. He's been working on it and Beth can see it all. BETH : (looking up and around) It's so big. This is crazy. GWEN : Yep. BETH : I suddenly feel very, very small. GWEN : Come on. Let's just get these tests done. Then you can get home, okay ? (loudly) Come on, Owen ! INT. HUB - AUTOPSY BAY / MEDICAL AREA Beth is strapped sitting up on the table while Owen holds up the syringe. OWEN : We'll start with a few blood tests, nothing to worry about, just a little... (He uncaps the syringe. She sees it and gasps.)... needle. Owen tries to inject her arm and the needle breaks. He looks at it. JACK : What ? OWEN : Needle snapped. BETH : Haven't you got a nurse to do this ? GWEN : He's a doctor. It's okay. Owen clears his throat. He picks up a second syringe and tries again. CLOSE-UP : BETH'S ARM The needle snaps again. Owen looks at the needle. BETH : Ah, okay. Look, I'm not going to do this if you can't even... (Owen turns around and he's holding a scalpel). What are you doing ? OWEN : Bear with me. BETH : Oi ! Hey ! Oh ! Owen tries to cut into Beth's arm and the scalpel tip snaps off with barely a scratch to her. The scalpel metal tip falls to the floor. Owen looks at the broken scalpel. OWEN : When was the last time you were in hospital, Beth ? BETH : I... I don't remember. I don't think I ever have. Why, what's wrong with me ? OWEN : Well, any operations ? Checkups ? BETH : No, nothing. OWEN : When was the last time you felt ill ? You had a cold ? Anything ? BETH : I don't think I ever have. I take a lot of vitamin C. OWEN : Mm, hell of a lot I reckon. He drops the broken scalpel back on the tray. JACK : Okay, Beth. You make light bulbs blow, we can't break your skin. What planet are you from ? BETH : Earth. JACK : (hard) Stop wasting our time ! We know you're an alien ! BETH : There's no such thing as aliens. INT. HUB - CONTAINMENT CELLS Jack pushes Beth into the containment cell area. He slams her up against the window to the weevil cell. Janet growls. JACK : Beth, Janet. Janet, Beth. INTERCUT WITH : INT. HUB - WORKSTATIONS MONITOR VIEW Gwen is watching Jack and Beth on the security monitors. BETH : (from monitor) What is it ? JACK : (from monitor) It's an alien. But you know that 'cause you are, too. BETH : No, it's not. Beth looks scared. BETH : I'm not. I work in an office... JACK : Why do you give off electro-magnetic waves ? Why ? BETH : (crying) I don't know ! Stop it ! Why are you doing this ? I want Mike. I want to go home. The weevil leans in close to the window and looks up and down at Beth. The weevil groans, lowers its head submissively and backs away. Jack notes the weevil's behavior. The weevil continues to back away. BETH : Why is it doing that ? JACK : I don't know. It's never done it before. The weevil cowers in the dark corner, its head still lowered submissively. BETH : This is real, isn't it ? JACK : Yeah. BETH : I don't know about my skin, or any of that other stuff. I just... how can I prove it to you ? How can I... prove to you... that I'm not an alien ? Jack looks at the weevil moaning and cowering in the dark corner and considers the question. EXT. VARIOUS CARDIFF BAY (STOCK) - DAY ZOOM over the bay area. INT. HUB - WORKSTATIONS Ianto rolls out a wheelchair while Jack carries a box out of his office. Ianto removes the thick wires to help set it up. Toshiko turns around and watches them. Jack puts the box down in front of Toshiko and uncovers it. He removes a metal helmet. TOSHIKO : You said we weren't allowed to use that again. JACK : It's just a mind probe. IANTO : (pipes up) Remember what happened last time you used it ? Ianto continues putting the chair together. Owen helps set it up. JACK : That was different. That species has extremely high blood pressure. IANTO : Oh, right, their heads must explode all the time. Gwen's eyes get really wide. Toshiko tilts her head to the side. GWEN : You can't do this. What if you're wrong ? If she is human, it'll kill her. Ianto sits in the metal chair. JACK : I'm not wrong. We have to find out what she is. Ianto grabs the metal armrests, the straps over his wrists. TOSHIKO : Take it easy, Jack. Stop at the first sign of trouble. IANTO : (deadpans) Or the first sign of exploding. JACK : Gwen... bring her up. GWEN : Ok. Ianto shudders, imitating being electrocuted - complete with sound effects. JACK : Hey ! Ianto gets up off the chair. Owen looks at him and shakes his head. [SCENE_BREAK] Beth is in the chair as Toshiko adjusts the wrist straps. TOSHIKO : Not too tight, is it ? BETH : It's fine. (to Gwen) Are you sure this is safe ? Toshiko and Owen complete attaching the helmet to the wires. Gwen nods and smiles stiffly. GWEN : Yep. BETH : Just try not to, you know, kill me or anything, okay ? IANTO : You'll probably get dehydrated... during the probing. He offers her a sip of water. She drinks. BETH : Thank you. Owen holds the helmet over her head and looks at Jack. Jack nods. Owen sets the helmet on Beth's head. It lights up and hums. Gwen clears her throat and tries to smile. Toshiko types on the keyboard and everyone waits. She looks at Jack, and he nods. TOSHIKO : We're all set. Jack steps forward to explain the procedure and process. JACK : The probe drills down through your consciousness, so if there's anything hidden, it'll pop to the surface. BETH : Will it hurt ? JACK: Yeah. BETH : Your bedside manner's rubbish. GWEN : (rambles nervously) You should see his manners in bed, they're atrocious. Apparently. So I've heard. IANTO : Oh, they are. I remember this one... Jack clears his throat loudly. Gwen kneels in front of Beth. GWEN : All right, we all ready ? BETH : I suppose. GWEN : Okay, we'll do this slowly. Tosh will control the probe, Owen will make sure you're not in danger, Ianto will have more water when you need it, and I'll be right here, okay? She pats her hands on Beth's knees. BETH : (re: Jack) And what about him ? What does he do ? JACK : I'll be watching. GWEN : Are you ready, Beth ? Beth nods. GWEN : Okay. Gwen stands up and backs away to stand nervously next to Jack. Owen types on the keyboard. He stops. JACK : Okay, Tosh. Toshiko types on the keyboard and the probe starts. Beth gasps and cries out in pain. Owen types on the keyboard. BETH : Human. She cries out in pain again. INSERT : CGI EFFECT - Follow the probe as it fires through her nerves and synapses (in blue). Her heart flares (in red). BACK TO SCENE. Beth cries out in pain. Jack is looking at Owen. OWEN : (to Jack) Safe. Jack turns his attention to Beth to start the questioning. JACK : Who killed the burglars, Beth ? BETH : (grimaces) I don't know ! I... Oh, my... Ah ! Owen continues monitoring her. OWEN : (to Jack) Safe. JACK : What planet are you from ? Beth hyperventilates. INSERT : CGI EFFECTS - Her heart flares and nerves fire. BETH : I'm human ! Oh, God, it hurts ! Please, please, st-stop ! JACK : Go deeper. TOSHIKO : (hesitates) Are you sure ? JACK : (shouts) Do it ! Beth cries out in pain. INSERT : CGI EFFECTS - ON blood cells. Beth continues to cry out as the probe continues. OWEN : Vital signs are all over the place, but still safe. Toshiko turns to another monitor and types, continuing the mind probe. TOSHIKO : Getting electromagnetic build-up again. JACK : Who killed those men ?! BETH : I don't know ! Make it stop ! GWEN : For God's sake ! Come on ! JACK : Go deeper ! Gwen can't take much more of it. Jack glances annoyingly at her. Owen and Toshiko continue. OWEN : Safe. JACK : Deeper ! INSERT : CGI EFFECTS - The probe starts firing up various cells. Even Toshiko is being affected by Beth's cries. The lights start flickering. INSERT : CGI EFFECTS - Beth's heart flares, nerves wire up and everything goes haywire. Something inside her bursts wide open. The lights continue to flicker, an alarm is going off somewhere. Everyone is noting the effects. IANTO : Something's happening to the lights ! TOSHIKO : The electro-magnetic pulse is off the scale. OWEN : I don't know how much more she can take ! GWEN : Jack, we've got to stop this ! Toshiko continues typing... then Beth exhales and passes out. She slumps forward in her seat. The lights stop flickering. No one is moving. Everyone turns and looks at Jack. Suddenly, Beth sits back in the metal chair - coldly, efficiently. Her right arm is turned palm up. The skin on her forearm CGI morphs into something horrid and dangerous-looking. It looks puckered with the inside and layer under it glowing red. This is the alien. Jack looks like he knows what it is. GWEN : Oh, my God ! Gwen starts to move forward. Jack stops her. JACK : I wouldn't get that close. Toshiko, what happened ? TOSHIKO : Hit a buried compartment. Locked away. She couldn't have been aware of it. Jack steps in front of Beth. JACK : Who are you ? BETH (ALIEN) : Kayehla janees, putaak graszh, ish nin fas du hap vac nal. JACK : Where are you from ? BETH (ALIEN) : Kayehla janees, putaak graszh, ish nin fas du hap vac nal. JACK : How do you like my boots ? She glances down at his boots, then eyes back straight and forward. BETH (ALIEN) : Kayehla janees, putaak graszh, ish nin fas du hap vac nal. Jack grabs the hand-held scanner and uses it on Beth's alien arm. GWEN : Jack, what is it, what is she saying ? JACK : Name, rank, serial number, and that's all she's gonna say. TOSHIKO : How do you know ? JACK : 'Cause I know who she is and why she's here. He tosses the scanner to Ianto. He catches it. JACK : Switch off the probe. Toshiko types. TOSHIKO : Off. Beth's arm CGI morphs back to normal. Beth breathes in deeply as her right hand opens and closes. Owen steps forward and removes the probe off Beth's head. Gwen cautiously remains apart from Beth and doesn't go to her. Beth shudders. BETH : Oh, you weren't lying, that really hurt ! (She takes a deep breath and looks at Jack.) Did you find anything ? Everyone looks at each other and no one answers her. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HUB - CONFERENCE ROOM Jack meets with the team. JACK : She's a sleeper agent. It all clicked when I saw the implant. OWEN : A sleeper agent ? Who for ? JACK : No-one knows very much. They don't leave survivors. Official designation is Cell 114. They infiltrate planets, adapting their bodies, gathering intelligence, sometimes for years, watching, until they're ready to take over. GWEN : Okay, that's... creepy. JACK : If we're lucky, she's the first. They send an advance guard to gather intel. Give them false memories so they blend in. Jack looks at the security monitor on the wall behind them showing Beth in the containment cell. JACK : She has no idea she's not human. Her real self must have taken over briefly, killed the burglars. Self preservation. OWEN : (to Gwen) Told you she did it. JACK : The point is, by the time they attack, they know every single thing about the planet. (This is very serious.) Tosh. Toshiko stands up and gives her report. TOSHIKO : The implant gathers information. Normal X-rays don't show it. She's projecting a false image. It's got all this data stored inside it. On the monitor she shows swirling red and quick flashes of multiple images. Everyone is stunned. Toshiko continues. She shows them her laptop reading. TOSHIKO : This is a force-field generator. It creates an impervious layer above the skin, just a nanometre thick. That's why you couldn't get the needle inside her. OWEN : Right, well... God, look, they even know about us. He points to the monitor showing their images and information. IANTO : They know more about this place than I do. Nobody knows more than I do. GWEN : What if there's more of them ? What are we gonna do about this ? JACK : For a start... I think we should tell her. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HUB - CONTAINMENT CELLS Beth is in the cell as she watches the monitor with the recording of her as the alien. BETH (ALIEN) : (from monitor) Kayehla janees, putaak graszh, ish nin fas du hap vac nal. JACK : (from monitor) Where are you from ? BETH (ALIEN) : (from monitor) Kayehla janees, putaak graszh... BETH : (upset) Can you turn it off, please ? Gwen stops the footage. Beth looks at her right arm. BETH : So I killed those men ? JACK : Yes. BETH : And I'm a mass-murdering alien ? JACK : Yes. BETH : My whole life... all my memories, they can't be fake. I know I love Mike... and he loves me. GWEN : He does, and you do. BETH : So what's real ? GWEN : You both are, you both fell in love. That happened. (Gwen goes up to the glass.) Do you feel human ? BETH : Yes. GWEN : Yes. Well, then you are. What makes us human ? Is it our minds or our bodies ? She turns and looks at Jack. BETH : And what happens when the disguise comes off ? I want to have kids one day. Is feeling human... enough for that ? (She presses up to the glass.) Can you fix me ? Can you make me human ? JACK : No. Eventually, you'll activate. Your real memories will come back, and Beth will disappear. BETH : What do you mean, « activate » ? JACK : Once you gather enough information, you'll send it back home, and start the invasion. BETH : There must be something you can do. All this technology, everything you do here... You can't keep me locked up next to that thing ! Gwen steps forward to reach out to Beth, but puts her hand down. She remains quiet. BETH : Are you going to kill me ? GWEN : (quickly) No. No, of course we're not. Jack looks at Gwen, who suddenly turns and looks at him. BETH : Have you killed other aliens ? GWEN : Only when we've had to. When it was the last resort : kill or be killed. BETH : Oh. I wish, I wish this wasn't happening. I'd never know. I'd just live a normal life. JACK : Until the day of the attack. BETH : I won't do anything ! I'm not that person ! Jack steps up to the glass. JACK : I'm sorry, but you are. He turns and walks away. Beth covers her mouth and cries. Gwen rushes out after Jack. INT. HUB - MAIN FLOOR Jack addresses everyone. JACK : We can't let her go, she's too dangerous. TOSHIKO : We could freeze her. Use the alien cryogenics. Wake her up if we figure out how to stop her memories from coming back. Owen is on the opposite end of the room watering the plants. GWEN : Freeze her ? For how long ? TOSHIKO : As long as it takes. At least she'd be alive. JACK : Her implant would still gather information. GWEN : Can't we deactivate it ? TOSHIKO : I can isolate the transceiver and fry it in an EM pulse. Right now, it's not sending or receiving anything. I've checked it five times on every frequency. OWEN : Won't that let them know we're onto them ? TOSHIKO : No. If we freeze her, she'll never activate and they'll never know. OWEN : What about her husband ? JACK : She'd have to disappear completely. (To Gwen) No goodbyes. Jack turns and heads out. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HUB - BACK CORRIDOR Gwen and Jack lead Beth through the corridor. BETH : We had a holiday booked. Nothing special, just a weekend away. Am I ever gonna see him again ? GWEN : I don't know. Beth gasps and stops walking. BETH : Oh ! INSERT : FLASHES OF - Beth chopping up the burglars and fighting back with her alien arm. The men scream. BACK TO SCENE. BETH : Oh-h... those men... INSERT : FLASHES OF - Beth attacking the burglars with the clinical precision of a trained killer. BETH : Oh, my God, those poor men ! What's happening ?! INSERT : FLASHES OF - (red hue) a bomb exploding. And another bomb exploding. BACK TO SCENE. JACK : The real memory is coming back, destroying the fake human persona. The sooner we do this, the better for everyone. Beth nods. GWEN : Beth ? Beth, come on. They continue to lead Beth through the back corridors. INT. HUB - AUTOPSY / MEDICAL AREA Owen pulls out a cryogenics chamber and gets to work. Beth is on the table nearby. Gwen sits with her. BETH : Promise me something. If you can't figure out how to keep me human, then don't wake me up. Just turn the machine off. GWEN : That's not a promise I can keep. Beth looks behind Gwen. BETH : Okay, you then. I bet you can. Jack is standing at the top of the entryway and looking down over the railing. He watches them. BETH : Just don't let me hurt anyone. JACK : You have my word. Gwen glares at him. He cross his arms in front of him. BETH : It's funny, I've always had this nagging feeling like I didn't fit in. Just... so desperate to have a more exciting life. Toshiko walks up to Beth. She's holding a hand-held device. TOSHIKO : I'm going to hit the transceiver with an EM pulse. GWEN : You won't feel anything. It won't harm you. TOSHIKO : It'll take out the force-field generator, too, I'm afraid. So, I'll have to fry them both. BETH : Do it. I don't want to be invincible. OWEN : After that I'm gonna sedate you, then we'll freeze you. GWEN : It'll like... just like going to sleep. OWEN : Only a bit colder. BETH : Bye, Gwen. GWEN : Bye. Toshiko starts the device and moves it slowly along Beth's right arm. The green lights on the device blink. TOSHIKO : Done. Owen injects Beth in her right leg. Hold on the monitor with an X-ray of her implant. The implant flares alive again and the lights inside pulsate. Whatever they did is not working. And they haven't noticed it. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. VARIOUS CARDIFF CITY (STOCK) - DAY ZOOM out of the plaza. Various cuts of the city. INT. RESIDENCE - KITCHEN - DAY David's wife is sitting on the couch listening to David recount his story as he steps out of the kitchen with a glass in his hand. DAVID : "If you want the whole bloody seat to yourself, be my guest." She laughs. He hands her a glass of something to drink. He gets a bottle out of the refrigerator. DAVID : "In fact," I said, "Why don't we ask the other passengers to get off, and you can have the whole carriage to yourself ? Would you like that ?". DAVID'S WIFE : You didn't ! He takes a glass out of the cupboard and fills it. DAVID : I did. I was really loud, too. I couldn't help it, I was just really annoyed. So then... So then, right, she gives me the dirtiest look, right, and she... An electronic beeping sounds. He suddenly stops and stares at his wife as she waits for the rest of the story. DAVID'S WIFE : David ? He puts his glass down on the counter and lifts up his right arm. Red lights glow under his unbuttoned long sleeved shirt. It hums and whines. DAVID'S WIFE : What is that ?! He pulls his sleeve back and looks at the red lights along his arm. DAVID'S WIFE : What's happened to your arm ? Without another word, he gets up and heads toward the front door. DAVID'S WIFE : Hey ! Where are you going ? He ignores her and is nearly at the door. DAVID'S WIFE : David, you're scaring me ! He turns around and looks at her. DAVID'S WIFE : What are you doing ? He raises his left arm and looks at his watch. He's got time. DAVID'S WIFE : What's happening ? Come back here ! He walks up to her... DAVID'S WIFE : David ! ...and twists her neck. She falls. He turns and heads toward the door. CUT TOP : EXT. STREET - DAY Two paramedics are working on a man on the ground. One leaves the other to do chest compressions on the victim on the ground. Suddenly the paramedic stops and raises his right arm. It's beeping. It CGI morphs into the alien arm. He stands up, turns and walks away. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. STREET - DAY A woman is out pushing a baby carriage on the sidewalk. Her arm beeps. She stops and pulls her jacket sleeve back. Her arm CGI morphs into an alien arm. The baby carriage rolls away from her with the baby crying inside. The woman ignores it, turns and walks away. The baby carriage heads for the street with oncoming cars. The woman walks away. Off screen, tires screech and a car crashes. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HUB - AUTOPSY BAY / MEDICAL AREA - DAY Owen is down in the autopsy area. Beth is in the cryogenics chamber. Her eyes are closed. Owen checks the readings. OWEN : It's done. I'm sending her down to the vault. Gwen is sitting on the floor above, her feet crossed at the ankles and her hands clasped around her knees. Owen slides the chamber into the cabinet and secures the outer door. Gwen gets up and rushes out. Owen turns and braces his hands on the table. He looks up. INT. HUB - VAULT - DAY Ianto slides the cryogenics chamber into the vault. Gwen is standing next to him as he shuts the door to vault #007 and locks it. He looks at her. They turn and head out. He holds his arm out and she takes it as they leave. CLOSE-UP : VAULT CABINET The vault doors rattle and shake. Off screen, a door closes. INT. VAULT CHAMBER (007) - CONTINUOUS ON : THE CHAMBER SCREEN The monitors and scanners continue as normal. The computer chirps. In the window, Beth is frozen and her eyes are closed. Suddenly, her eyes open. A red light switches on. CLOSE-UP : MONITOR Beth's scanner and readings continue normally. INT. HUB - WORKSTATIONS - DAY Gwen returns to the workstations. Toshiko is at her computers working. The lights start flickering. Alarms blare. Owen has a flashlight on in the autopsy area as he heads up. Beth's vitals are projected up on the autopsy wall. JACK : (o.s.) Can somebody tell me what the hell is going on ? Gwen works on the security monitors and checks the vault. The vault door holding Beth's chamber is wide open. GWEN : Oh, sh1t ! JACK : What happened ? GWEN : Beth's gone. JACK : I thought she was frozen ! OWEN : (o.s.) She was ! All her vitals were at zero. Toshiko is working on the computers. TOSHIKO : Checking systems, command history... JACK : What did she do ? Is it a virus, a lockdown ? TOSHIKO : No, she just turned off the lights. JACK : What is it with her and light bulbs ? They turn the lights back on. Toshiko checks the monitors and finds the cog door rolled open. TOSHIKO : She went through the tunnels. IANTO : Time to change the locks again. Jack is thinking. JACK : She knew everything about this place. It was all in her arm. The tunnels, layout, security codes. She could've shut us down, blown us up - anything ! GWEN : But she didn't. OWEN : Oh, I swear, she was frozen. JACK : Tosh, you switched off the transceiver ? TOSHIKO : Yes. JACK: Are you sure ? TOSHIKO : Well, I was until you asked. (She glances at her monitor.) Unless it was another false image. OWEN : Hang on, hang on, hang on. Everything about her was a lie. All of her vital signs were a false image. She can fool the equipment. She can tell it what we're expecting to see. So, you know, she gets scared and it projects an increased heart rate. We try and freeze it and it does the opposite. TOSHIKO : Simulating that much information would need a huge amount of energy. No wonder she had a big electromagnetic field. OWEN : Well, that's why the lights blew every time she got upset. TOSHIKO : So, what's she doing ? Did we activate her ? JACK : She couldn't be activated. If she was, we'd all be dead. We took her off the network. She has some other agenda. INT. HOSPITAL - MIKE'S ROOM Mike wakes up. Beth is sitting next to him. MIKE : Hey. BETH : Hey. How are you feeling? MIKE : What's going on ? The doctor won't tell me anything. You all right ? BETH : I'm fine. I... Listen, you know I love you, don't you ? MIKE : Course I do. I love you, too. BETH : Do you promise ? MIKE : Why ? BETH : Just... I just had to be sure. I have to go away. MIKE : What do you mean ? Where ? BETH : I can't tell you, but it's for your own good. MIKE : (sits up) Beth, what are you talking about ? BETH : No. I'm sorry. I just... I have to stay away from you. If I don't... I'm gonna end up hurting you. MIKE : Well, this is hurting me. Don't go. BETH : Whatever happens... just know that I love you... and I always will. Mike sits up and leans in close to her. MIKE : If you've... If you've done something, I don't care, just don't leave me. We'll get through this. BETH : (upset) No, not this time. I have to put things straight, and I can't do that anywhere near you. I love you too much for that. She puts her left arm around him and they hug. MIKE : Don't let the police take you! I'm not gonna let you go. I don't care what it is. (Beth's arm starts beeping.) I don't care what... Mike gasps and stops moving. His face registers surprise and we hear a squishy-fleshy sound. MIKE : What was that ? BETH : I don't know. It sounded like... Beth pulls away from him. Mike is in pain and is gasping for breath. They look down. Beth's arm has morphed into a sharp, pointy weapon that has impaled Mike clear through his abdomen. She pulls her arm back and the weapon out of him. She's just as surprised as he is. BETH : Ah... uh... uh... Oh, my God ! Oh, my... Mike is bleeding. BETH : (screams) He... Help ! Help ! Somebody, get a doctor ! Help ! Somebody ! MIKE : What are... you... Beth's right hand is back to normal. She presses the call button frantically. The alarms start blaring. BETH : (screams) Somebody ! Mike gasps for breath. JACK : (o.s.) Beth ! Jack and Gwen are in the room, their guns raised. Beth stands up and backs away from him. The red lights in Beth's right arm are on. Jack moves past Beth to check on Mike. BETH : Sorry... I was just... It was an accident. I just wanted to say goodbye... Beth falls to her knees. JACK : She's got a weapon system built into her arm. Gwen uses the hand-held device and moves it slowly down Beth's right arm. GWEN : Clear. JACK : It's getting worse. She's losing control. We need to contain her fast. GWEN : Come on, Beth. Let's get you back. Gwen puts the device back in the bag. BETH: No ! GWEN : Come on ! BETH : (crying) No...! Jack helps Beth stand up. JACK : Come on ! Get up ! GWEN : Get up ! Go ! Jack and Gwen put Beth's arms around their shoulders and they rush her out of the room as the nurses rush in to tend to Mike. NURSE : He's bleeding. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. GRAINGER RESIDENCE - FOYER - DAY Patrick Grainer puts his things down on the foyer table. He looks up at his daughter. PATRICK : So, what else happened at school today ? DAUGHTER : Alex has got a girlfriend. PATRICK : Oh ? Alex is walking out and carrying a stack of dishes. ALEX : Have not ! The front doorbell rings. DAUGHTER : Have too. She's called Jessica. ALEX : I'm gonna kill you so much. He carries the plates over to his Mrs. Grainger, who is setting the table. INTERCUT WITH : FRONT DOOR Patrick Grainger opens the door and finds David, the alien, out on his porch. DAVID : Patrick Grainger ? Mrs. Grainger takes the plates from Alex. MRS. GRAINGER : Alex, don't kill your sister. David holds his alien right arm out. It morphs into the bladed weapon as he pulls it back and stabs Patrick Grainger in the stomach. He opens his mouth and bleeds. Mrs. Grainger puts her arms on Alex's shoulders. MRS. GRAINGER : Not before tea anyway ! David forces his way into the house and steps into the foyer. There's blood spattered on his shirt. MRS. GRAINGER : Patrick ? Oh, my God, stop it ! She pulls her children to her, covers their eyes as best she can as they back up to the dining room area. David stabs Patrick over and over again - squishy-fleshy sounds ensue. MRS. GRAINGER : (screams) Get away from him ! He pulls the blade out of Patrick and Patrick falls to the floor. MRS. GRAINGER : Oh, no ! Please, don't hurt my children ! He stabs one more time. Blood spatters on Mrs. Grainger's face. DAUGHTER : (o.s.) No, please ! David turns and leaves. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. ROAD - DAY A large fuel tanker screeches to a halt on the road under the overpass. The cars following it are stuck. The driver of the car directly behind the tanker beeps his horn. The paramedic, dressed in green, jumps out of the fuel tanker and heads toward the back. The driver of the car opens his door, stands and yells at the paramedic. DRIVER : Oi ! Fuckflap ! Get back in that truck or I'll shove it up your arse ! The paramedic removes a circular disc off his arm and attaches it to the side of the fuel tanker. It's beeping and has a light flashing. The driver looks at it and can guess what it is. He turns and runs. DRIVER : Oh, sh1t ! The paramedic stays where he is and watches the driver run. INT. HOSPITAL - HALLWAY - DAY The hallway doors open. Jack, Gwen and Beth hurry out. JACK : (to comm) Tosh ? We got her. It's all over. We're on our way. The blast blows out the windows and knocks them - and everyone else in the hallway - off their feet. INT. HUB The hub shakes. Toshiko is at her workstation. TOSHIKO : What's going on ? Owen is in the autopsy bay and Ianto is coming down the spiral stairs. INT. HOSPITAL Jack looks at Gwen. JACK : You okay ? GWEN : Yeah... I think so, yeah. JACK : (to comm) What the hell was that ? INTERCUT WITH : INT. HUB Toshiko is at the computer looking it up. TOSHIKO : Petrol tanker. Looks like someone wanted to take out the M4 link road for some r... (Owen runs out to join her. Toshiko checks the map.) No ! It's not the road. There's an underground fuel pipeline. (To Owen) It's a special fuel supply for the military. They use it in emergencies. OWEN : Not anymore. Hold on. (Owen turns to his own workstation.) I've got a report coming through. Patrick Grainger's been murdered. TOSHIKO : Who ? OWEN : Leader of the council, stabbed several times in the chest, and once in the forehead. Sound familiar ? INT. HOSPITAL - CORRIDOR - DAY Gwen and Jack continue to help Beth out through the hallway. GWEN : (to comm) Why would anyone want to kill him ? IANTO : He's also the city co-ordinator. Takes charge of the city in case of major emergencies. Has all the security protocols. OWEN : Well, how do you know that ? IANTO : I know everything. (Points) And it says so on the bottom of the screen. INT./EXT. HOSPITAL - LOBBY - CONTINUOUS JACK : They're putting all the pieces in place. Gwen, take her. Jack releases Beth and rushes outside toward the SUV. Beth collapses and Gwen has to help her. JACK : (to comm) Tosh, Owen, it's starting. It's happening right now ! EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY The woman alien walks along the sidewalk. Her arm is in Alien mode and she's carrying a detonator in the palm of her other hand. She turns and enters the building. The plaque on the wall reads : TELECOMMUNICATIONS SWITCHING STATION & MOBILE SWITCHING CENTRAL. The building explodes. The bystanders standing out in the sidewalk are hit hardest. Alarms blare. People scream and run. EXT. HOSPITAL - PARKING LOT - DAY Jack is trying to listen to his comm. It's down. There's massive feedback. Gwen grimaces from the sound. JACK : (to comm) Tosh ? There's no response. He heads back to Gwen and Beth. JACK : It's not just her. She's part of a cell, and they've activated. It's happening. (Shouts to Beth) Tell me how to stop it ! BETH : (shakes her head) It can't be. JACK : Think ! GWEN : Beth, look at me. (Gwen turns her. She doesn't want to look.) Look at me ! (She looks at Gwen.) How do we stop this ? BETH : I don't know. I'm cut off from the cell. I don't know what the mission is. I'm sorry. GWEN : What about your implant ? How did you get out of Torchwood ? BETH : The technology is part of me. I can switch it on, I can use the tools. GWEN : Can you do that now ? Can you trace the other cell, Beth ? Beth shakes her head. BETH : No ! What if it goes wrong ? GWEN : If you don't, Beth, other people will die. Not just Mike. Beth takes several deep breaths. She holds her left hand over her implant. INSERT : CGI EFFECT The implant flares. The cells in her arm activate. Beth looks at Gwen. BETH : There's only one left. I can track him. JACK : Let's go. Come on. Jack and Gwen help her up and they head for the SUV. [SCENE_BREAK] The Torchwood SUV drives away, tires screeching. EXT. STREET David is driving. His hands are bloodied, his implant is turned on. As he drives, he presses one of the red lights on his implant. EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY Jack parks the SUV on the sidewalk. JACK : Hang on, I've got an idea. Jack gets out of the car. INT. HUB - WORKSTATIONS Owen is dialing his cell phone while Toshiko tries to explain it to him. TOSHIKO : No, I can't just hook something up ! The entire telephone network is down ! OWEN : (points) What about mobile connection ? TOSHIKO : (slower) The entire telephone network is down ! Ianto joins them. IANTO : Mobiles, landlines, tin cans with bits of string. Everything. Absolutely everything. No phones, phones all broken. (Holds his hand up to his face as if talking with a phone.) Hello ? Anyone there ? No, 'cause the phones aren't working. EXT. STREET Jack has a large roll of tape in his mouth. He takes it out. GWEN : What's that ? JACK : CB radio. They knocked out the phones, but they can't knock out the radio waves. (Glares at Beth) Not yet, anyway. Jack rips the tape off. INTERCUT WITH : INT. HUB OWEN : What about we try... TOSHIKO : (interrupts) There is no way of getting in touch with Jack ! No way ! JACK : (from radio) Tosh, Owen, can you hear me ? They turn around and see the radio in Jack's office. Toshiko runs and answers it. TOSHIKO : Jack ! (to radio) Thank God. What happened ? JACK : There's a cell, it's active. Four including Beth - two are dead. We're tracking the last guy now. (Jack has the radio antennae strapped to the passenger side-view mirror.) If we can get to him before he does anything, we can stop this. TOSHIKO : What can I do ? JACK : He's heading for an abandoned farm just outside the city. I need to know what's out there. Jack is driving again. INT. DAVID'S CAR (TRAVELING) - DAY David is pressing the lights in his implant. INT. HUB Owen and Ianto are looking at the map on the monitor. OWEN : Where the hell's he going ? (He turns toward Toshiko.) There's nothing there ! TOSHIKO : Nothing on the surface. INT. TORCHWOOD SUV - DAY Jack is driving. BETH : He's nearly there, we need to hurry. JACK : Yeah. Hurrying, thank you. GWEN : What happens when it starts, Beth ? JACK : How do you get in the heavy weapons ? BETH : I don't know. Um, I think we just have this arm stuff. GWEN : So, how do you manage to take over so quickly ? BETH : I don't know. I didn't even know how to use this thing until today. EXT. ROAD - DAY The signs read : DANGER KEEP OUT, DANGER MINEFIELD TESTING, NO TRESPASSING. David smashes through the road barriers. INT. HUB - DAY Ianto is reading a book and headed back toward the workstations. IANTO : This is as far back as they go. There used to be a coal mine in the cliff. The Army sealed it off in the '40s, doesn't say why. Owen holds the radio. TOSHIKO : Let me see if I can get into the military files. Toshiko works on the computers and breaks it rather quickly. RESTRICTED ACCESS AUTHORISATION REQUESTED. The number is: 3769416. TOSHIKO : Come on, guys, that wasn't even difficult. You disappoint me. IANTO : (mutters) It's almost obscene what you do to security systems. The contents appear on the monitor. TOSHIKO : Oh, God. JACK : (from radio) What is it ? TOSHIKO : The mineshaft. The military are using it for storage. Nuclear warheads. Ten of them. Nobody's supposed to know, not even us. INTERCUT WITH : INT. SUV (TRAVELING) - DAY GWEN : That's how it starts. JACK : No heavy weapons. GWEN : Exactly ! They don't need any ! They use our own against us. JACK : We left the key under the doormat. All you need is to walk in and take over. TOSHIKO : Please tell me you can stop this. JACK : Going as fast as we can. If we don't, we won't feel a thing. We're at the center of the blast radius. TOSHIKO : That's comforting. JACK : Come on ! Have a little faith ! With a dashing hero like me on the case, how can we fail ? IANTO : He is dashing, you have to give him that. Owen breaks contact. OWEN : And what if they can't stop it ? TOSHIKO : They'll stop it. OWEN : Yeah, but if they can't ? IANTO : Then it's all over. OWEN : Let's all have s*x. IANTO : And I thought the end of the world couldn't get any worse. EXT. FARM FIELD - DAY David's car arrives at the farm field. EXT. ROAD - DAY The Torchwood SUV is out on the road. [SCENE_BREAK] The Torchwood SUV is by the grassy area. EXT. BUILDING - DAY David approaches a post. SOLDIER : Halt ! Stop the vehicle ! Get out of the vehicle now ! Lie face down on the ground ! David parks the car and opens the door. SOLDIER : On the ground or we shoot ! He walks out and heads toward the building. SOLDIER : Fire ! The soldiers fire on David. The bullet hit him in the chest. He jerks from the impact, but he doesn't fall. He again starts toward the building. A soldier comes up behind David and tries to choke him with his rifle. David flips the soldier over and holds onto the rifle. His arm changes into the long, pointed blade and he lifts it up high. He stabs the soldier. He pulls out the blade, now covered with blood. A couple more soldiers step out and fire on David. These bullets also hit David in the chest. He continues up the road toward the building. This time, he fires the rifle he's holding. RANDOM SOLDIER : Take cover ! The soldiers continue to fire on him. Nothing seems to stop him. He successfully picks off the soldiers as he nears the building. RANDOM SOLDIER : Ahh ! One-by-one the soldiers fall. And still he keeps coming. EXT. ROAD - DAY The torchwood SUV passes the broken gates. Tires screech and it speeds past. INT. TORCHWOOD SUV (TRAVELING) - DAY Beth sits in the back seat. Jack is driving. EXT. BUILDING - DAY David shoots the soldiers in the bunkers near the entryway. He walks past. One of the soldiers on the ground is playing dead. He gets up to shoot David, but David whirls around and shoots him dead first. Having cleared the entry of the soldiers, David tosses the rifle aside and heads for the security post. EXT. ROAD - DAY The Torchwood SUV continues to speed through the road. They're almost there. EXT. BUILDING - DAY David reaches the security post and keypad. He holds the metal side with his right hand and uses his left hand to punch in some buttons on his arm. He then punches in the access codes. As he reaches the right code, the bar on the side rises, granting him entry to the next levels; it changes from LOCKDOWN to UNLOCKED. The list on the side includes : AREA 1 LOCKDOWN, AREA 2 LOCKDOWN, AREA 3 LOCKDOWN, AREA 4 LOCKDOWN. He continues to punch in the keycode combinations. INTERCUT WITH : INT. TORCHWOOD SUV - DAY Jack is still driving. Beth's arm beeps. She holds her arm. EXT. BUILDING - DAY David continues to punch in number combinations into the keypad. He UNLOCKS Area 3. He punches in the final number combination and UNLOCKS AREA 4. The building clangs and unlocks. The big RED LIGHT changes to GREEN. The buzzer sounds. INT. TORCHWOOD SUV - DAY Jack is still driving. GWEN : Have we thought this part of the plan through ? JACK : This isn't gonna be pretty, brace yourselves. David walks away from the security post. The Torchwood SUV is right behind him. GWEN : How are we going to stop him, Jack ? JACK : Like this. Jack turns and rams David down with the SUV. David hits the concrete. Jack stops the SUV. David's hands shake and he's still moving, trying to head toward the building. Jack, Gwen and Beth exit the SUV. Jack runs over to David. He turns him over. Gwen reaches them and takes out the scanner. JACK : This wasn't supposed to happen today. (Pulls his gun out on David.) How do we stop it ? Gwen turns on the device. JACK : Gwen ? (David's arm CGI MORPHS into the pointed blade.) Gwen ! Argh ! David stabs Jack. The blade pierces him clear through his chest. DAVID (ALIEN) : Ooh ! Doesn't matter. You can't stop us. We know what your weakness is. We know who you are, Jack Harkness. We know all about you, and Torchwood. We got a lot of information before you switched her off. You'll be factored into our plans. JACK : Oh. Gwen ? GWEN : Nearly there. I've got it. He's done. Gwen puts the scanner away. Jack pulls himself off the blade. JACK : Ohhh ! He stands over David with his gun pointed at him. David looks at his blade. JACK : Don't bother, your transmitter's dead. And so's your force-field. DAVID (ALIEN) : You're lying. JACK : Oh, yeah ? Jack shoots David. Beth flinches and turns her head away. David spews blood from his mouth. JACK : Factor that into your plans. (David gurgles.) Now, when are the others coming ? DAVID (ALIEN) : They're already here. ZOOM in on Jack and Gwen's reactions. David laughs. The detonator in his hand starts beeping. He opens his palm to show them. DAVID (ALIEN) : I won't let you take me. JACK : Run ! Jack, Gwen and Beth turn and run. David laughs maniacally. David is gone, but Jack, Gwen and Beth are all right. JACK : Whew ! Hold on the three. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HUB - WORKSTATIONS Owen is down in the autopsy area. He looks at Gwen and nods. OWEN : It's done. Gwen hurries back into the workstation area. She's carrying a sheet of paper. Toshiko and Jack finish their conversation and step out of his office into the workstation area. TOSHIKO : I'll do it, but I'm not happy. JACK : Just do what you have to. Jack finishes adjusting his shirt and he shakes his head at her back. She passes Ianto, who is carrying an aerial of sorts. He looks at Jack, but Jack turns and heads back into his office. Ianto follows him. Toshiko is back at her workstation. INT. HUB - LAB - CONTINUOUS Gwen exits the workstation area and enters the lab. Beth is there, quiet and sad. GWEN : We're set with the cryogenics when you're ready. BETH : Will it work this time ? GWEN : Tosh has reconfigured the casket. It'll work around the implant. No more false images. BETH : If we'd been one minute later... GWEN : We weren't. We stopped him. BETH : Then what happens when you have to stop me ? If the freezing doesn't work ? GWEN : It won't come to that. BETH : I can feel it coming. It's pushing me out. (She looks down at her alien arm.) What will you do when I lose my last bit of me ? GWEN : We will figure something out, Beth. BETH : No, we won't. I'm too dangerous for that, we both know it. Gwen is quiet. BETH : Do you... have someone... at home ? GWEN : A fiancé. BETH : Have you ever hurt them ? GWEN : More than once, yes. BETH : Remember how guilty you felt ? (Gwen nods.) Imagine that... times a billion... all the time... every second of the day. That's how I feel now. And the worst part is, when I turn back, I won't feel guilty any more. I'll want to carry out my mission. I won't even care about Mike. I'll forget all about him. I don't wanna die as one of those things, Gwen. I don't wanna forget about Mike. GWEN : Then don't. Let's do this. Who knows what we'll be able to do in a month ? A year ? BETH : Thanks for being so good to me. Remember me the way I am now. Remember... Beth. Beth's arm beeps. Suddenly, she holds it out at Gwen and the blade appears. Gwen gasps. Gwen backs away as Beth slowly advances. GWEN : Beth... Beth... Beth grabs Gwen and holds the blade up to her neck. BETH : I won't let you freeze me ! She pulls Gwen out into the hub. BETH : I'll kill you all ! Toshiko grabs her gun from her bag under her workstation. Jack runs out with his gun out. VOICE : Let her go ! Owen and Ianto run out with their guns out. VOICE : Let her go ! GWEN : No ! No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, don't shoot ! It's a trick. She won't hurt me. She won't hurt me. TOSHIKO : Move away from her now ! JACK : Everybody, calm down ! Beth... Beth... You don't want to do this. Let Gwen go. BETH : I'll kill her first, then all of you, then the rest of your miserable species ! GWEN : Beth, please ! They will kill you. You have proved to be better than that; you helped us to stop the invasion. You can be human. Please ! Beth ! Beth shakes her head. BETH : Not human enough. GWEN : Beth... BETH : Goodbye, Gwen. (whispers) Good luck. Beth pulls her arm back. Everyone fires. Gwen gasps. The bullets hit Beth's chest and she falls backward. Gwen sits down hard. Jack and Owen run up the stairs on either side of the catwalk. They stop and wait, their guns still on Beth. GWEN : She wanted you to shoot her ! She used her last shred of humanity to do this. OWEN : We couldn't take that chance. She must have known that. JACK : She did. (Jack puts his gun down.) She just wanted to make it easier for us. Everyone is quiet. TOP VIEW DOWN on Beth, dead on the concrete floor. Gwen is sitting next to her. She reaches out and holds Beth's hand. Jack is standing near Gwen. He holds his hand out and touches her shoulder. After a moment, he pulls away. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. CARDIFF CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT Establish. INT. HUB - JACK'S OFFICE - NIGHT Jack is at his desk holding and looking at the alien blade. Gwen enters. Jack sits back in his chair and puts his legs up on the edge of the desk, crossed at the ankles. GWEN : Do you think we stopped it ? JACK : Maybe. Maybe we've just put it off for a while, I don't know. We don't know anything. GWEN : We know plenty. We know about the implant. We can disable their force-field. We know how they attack. We know that they can be killed. And while they think they have the element of surprise, we know they haven't. But, until that day, we just keep doing what we do. JACK : (pirate accent) Oh, them be fightin' words, they be, Gwen. He sits up. They share a smile. And a chuckle. JACK : So, have you set a date ? GWEN : Oh, don't get me started, please. My mam's already been on the phone, saying, « What about the local church, Gwen? It's ever so lovely. » JACK : Good. Go home. Keep doing what we do. She nods to him. She nods back. GWEN : Good night, Jack. Gwen turns and leaves. Alone once more in the office, Jack picks up the alien blade and examines it. He looks up, knowing there may be more out there.

Plan: A: only one woman; Q: How many people are left unharmed in the burglary? A: alien involvement; Q: What do Torchwood suspect when a burglary turns into a slaughter? A: the investigation; Q: What escalates into a city-wide assault? A: danger; Q: What does Jack realize the whole planet is in? Summary: When a burglary turns into a slaughter and only one woman is left unharmed, Torchwood begin to suspect alien involvement. However, when the investigation escalates into a city-wide assault, Jack realises the whole planet is in danger.

(Open: We hear a heartbeating. Brennan is running through what looks like a warehouse. She scared. She runs into a fence, unable to escape but then she hears a voice calling out to her.) HODGINS: Help me! Help me! (She runs towards the sound of Hodgins' voice. He's strapped to a conveyor belt, bleeding.) BRENNAN: Hodgins! HODGINS: Help me! BRENNAN: Hodgins! HODGINS: Dr. Brennan! (Just as she gets to him, he's pulled away on the conveyor belt. She can't reach him.) BRENNAN: Hodgins. HODGINS!! (She hears another voice of in the distant. It's Booth. She runs toward the sound of his voice and finds him trapped in room.) BOOTH: Boooonneeesss. BRENNAN: Booth! Booth! BOOTH: Stay with me! BRENNAN: Booth! (She tries to open the door. He's pounding on it. Then she sees the water rushing in the room behind him. He's going to drown if she doesn't save him. She continues to pound on the door. Ahand reaches from behind her and covers her mouth and she sees the water overtake him. The next second she 'wake up' and finds herself in clear box and she realizes she's stuck in a grave. She looks up and sees Heather Taffet with a shovel. Taffet starts to shovel dirt into the hole. Brennan screams and pounds her fists on the case. Taffet laughs. Brennan jolts awake. It was all just a nightmare.) (Cut to: Brennan's Apartment. She's in the kitchen, getting ready for work while watching the news.) REPORTER: (on tv screen) The Gravedigger case finally begins today with an evidentiary hearing. The defendant, prominent federal prosecutor, Heather Taffet, will be defending herself against multiple charges of kidnapping and murder. One charge involves 10 year old Terrence Gilroy, who has never been found. Testimony is expected from three kidnapping victims: Seeley Booth, an Agent with the FBI, as well as scientists Jack Hodgins and Temperance Brenann from the Jeffersonian... (Brennan turns off the Tv. She's heard enough. You can tell she's really been affected by this case.) (Cut to: Courthouse. Booth and Brennan are in the hallway.) BOOTH: You okay, Bones? BRENNAN: Of course, why wouldn't I be? BOOTH: Well, we're about to come head to head with the woman who tried to kill both of us. BRENNAN: So are you. Are you okay? BOOTH: SUre. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just checking in. Just wanted to make sure you're okay and if you need anything, I'm - BRENNAN: It's just another case, Booth. BOOTH: Right. BRENNAN: (stopping) Dad! (Max Brennan walks towards them) BOOTH: Max. BRENNAN: Wha-what are you doing here? MAX: Just thought you should have a little support from somebody who's been through the legal system a few times. BRENNAN: Why is everyone treating me like a child? MAX: Because I don't want you to get your hopes up. This is far from a slam dunk. BOOTH: That's exactly why Caroline here. Alright? We have five cases, multiple counts: Bones, Hodgins, the 10 year old boy.. MAX: Whose body has never been found. Your prosecutor's getting desperate. BOOTH: Max, she knows what she's doing. Okay? BRENNAN: I thought you were here for support, dad? (Cut to: Courtroom. Brennan is seated in the front row between Max & Booth. Hodgins, Angela & Cam are seated right behind them. Heather Taffet is brought into the court room. She's wearing an orange jumper and handcuffs and eyes Booth, Brennan & Hodgins.) JUDGE REILLY DUFREY: Okay. You all ready to play nice? CAROLINE JULIAN: Always, Your Honor. HEATHER TAFFET: Your Honor, since I'm representing myself - I'd like to request that my shackles be removed while I'm in court? CAROLINE JULIAN: This is only an evidentary hearing, Your Honor. There's no jury to prejudice and frankly, I feel a bit more secure with her in chains. JUDGE DUFREY: Spare us the dramatic flourishes, Miss Julian. When we go to trial, we can revisit the request, Miss Taffet. First witness. (Cut to: The next scene cuts between everyone taking the stand) CAM: Burn marks were found on the victims that were consistent with injuries one would sustain from a 3 million volt stun gun. BOOTH: The stun gun was found in the suspects storage locker. It matches the stun gun that was used on the attack on me.. HODGINS: The suspects steel-toed boots were also found in the storage locker. HEATHER TAFFET: This storage locker was found with information obtained illegally, wasn't it? CAM: We didn't know that at the time, Your Honor. We obtained a legal warrant to search the locker. HEATHER TAFFET: The fact that Agent Booth's brother gave you the lead didn't make you suspicious? BRENNAN: He was an officer assigned to Homeland Security. We had no reason to question the information provided. CAROLINE JULIAN: The warrant was obtained without malice. HEATHER TAFFET: That's irrelevant, Your Honor. Everything found in that storage locker should be dismissed. CAROLINE JULIAN: I submit that a warrant wasn't even necessary. Under precedent of imminent danger - law authority have the duty to enter that storage locker without a valid warrant. Agent Booth's life was in danger. HEATHER TAFFET: Imminent danger applies only if law enforcement hears a violent threat or struggle at the scene. JUDGE DUFREY: I'm sorry, Miss Julian. No matter how pure the intention, the warrant was obtained illegally. Therefore, any and all evidence gathered during the search and seizure is inadmissible. HEATHER TAFFET: Thank you, Your Honor. JUDGE DUFREY: This was not a personal favor, Miss Taffet. I am restrained by the law. HEATHER TAFFET: I'd like to move that all charges be dropped, Your Honor. CAROLINE JULIAN: You'd like that, wouldn't you? We still have dirt samples from the crime scene. The ransom tapes.. HEATHER TAFFET: Your Honor, this is a waste of the courts time and the tax payers money. CAROLINE JULIAN: If I lose, I'll send everyone a note of apology. JUDGE DUFREY: You aren't left with much, Miss Julian. You sure you want to proceed? (Caroline looks at Taffet and then turns around and looks at Booth, Brennan and Hodgins and she knows that they need this.) CAROLINE JULIAN: (adamantely) Yes, Your Honor. JUDGE DUFREY: Okay. The charges stand. We're going to trial. Court is adjourned. (Taffet walks over to where Brennan is.) HEATHER TAFFET: If you're so brillant, Dr. Brennan, why couldn't you find something as simple as the number? (The guards take her away as Booth comes up next to Brennan.) BOOTH: You alright? What'd she say? BRENNAN: She says I missed some evidence. BOOTH: What evidence? BRENNAN: She doesn't think I can find it. [OPENING CREDITS] (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Angela is running a program through the computer. Brennan enters.) BRENNAN: Booth is getting her arrest records as well as old case files from when she was a prosecutor. ANGELA: Okay, uh, I'm pulling every record we have so far associated with Taffet. Social security numbers, birthdates, blood test results. CAM: Ages of the victims? ANGELA: Got those. I'm using a recursive search algorithim, which analyzes and cross references the data. Since they're related, any inconsistencies can raise a red flag. HODGINS: I think Taffet is just messing with us again. SWEETS: I have to disagree. Her pathology is consistent; this is all a game to her. She won the first round so now she's upping the stakes by challenging Dr. Brennan. HODGINS: Yeah, or maybe she knows there's something in the soil samples we already have so she's just trying to distract us. SWEETS: YOu analyzed those soil samples a hundred times. HODGINS: Are you telling me to give up, Sweets? SWEETS: No, of course not. But I mean, I understand the need to cling to anything.. HODGINS: Cling. Okay, so I'm crazy now. SWEETS: That's not what I meant. CAM: Go, Dr. Hodgins. Look at the soil again. You may find something. (Hodgins leaves.) ANGELA: You know, he still gets nightmares. Says he wakes up in a sweat. SWEETS: I should have been more sensitive. (to Brennan) This must be difficult for you too. If you need any.. BRENNAN: I'm fine. What about the weight and size of the victims remains? ANGELA: Yeah. That's a good idea. I'll check it out. (Brennan leaves.) (Cut to: Royal Diner. Caroline enters the diner carrying a box and sets it on Booth's table.) CAROLINE JULIAN: Here are the first set of documents you asked for. More numbers than I've ever seen in my life. BOOTH: Right. Thanks. You okay? CAROLINE JULIAN: Oh, you mean because this case is a career killer? I'm cute. I can always find a job. BOOTH: Well, they're gonna come up with something. They always do. Right? CAROLINE JULIAN: Do you really believe that, Cherie? BOOTH: Well, they saved my life, remember? That was impossible. CAROLINE JULIAN: Well, I'll give you that one. So, how's your girlfriend holding up? BOOTH: She's fine. She's not my girlfriend. CAROLINE JULIAN: Oh, so those little looks between you... BOOTH: Nothing. CAROLINE JULIAN: Right. I hope you're more believeable on the stand. Have Angela run these numbers as quickly as she can. The judge isn't gonna give me more than a day. (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Angela is listening to the Gravediggers ransom tape from the latest victim.) GRAVEDIGGER: (AUDIO) If I don't receive the money in the numbered account within 8 hours, your child will die. This is the last time you will hear from me. There will be no further communications. (Hodgins enters) HODGINS: What happened to the numbers? ANGELA: Well, I came up dry. Brennan and Booth are compliling another set but until then, I'm trying to drag Taffet's voice from these ransom tapes. HODGINS: Well, any luck? ANGELA: She used a variable band inversion, so the wave is broken up into hundreds of small sections. Each section scrambled with different frequency sequencing. HODGINS: You didn't ask me if I found anything new in the soil samples. ANGELA: Did you? HODGINS: No. Of course not. Sweets was right. You knew that. I'm barely keeping it together here, Ange. ANGELA: Well, you were uh, you were sane enough to marry me. HODGINS: I don't feel strong enough to tell anybody yet. I feel like she's still got me locked up, you know? I mean, when I see her there's just this, um, anger. I mean, it's like a helplessness that comes- ANGELA: I know. I know. HODGINS: When I was buried in that car, I didn't think I was ever going to see you again. And now, I feel like she's still in between us. ANGELA: Well, she's not. Look at me. She's not. Nobody can get between us. (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Brennan's Office.) BOOTH: Come on, Bones. You've been at it for hours. You gotta eat something. BRENNAN: In a little while. Her old court documents from when she was a prosecutor have case numbers, criminal code numbers and then there are zip codes. BOOTH: Well, that's great and all but it's not going to be any good if you starve yourself to death. (He put a contain of Chinese food on the table in front of her.) BRENNAN: She was laughing at me, I - I can't let her win. BOOTH: She won't. BRENNAN: You hope. She may be amoral, but she is brilliant. BOOTH: Well, you're more brilliant. BRENNAN: What if her dispassion makes her more logical. What if that gives her and advantage over me? BOOTH: Wait a minute. Now you're upset because you're not more like a psychopath? BRENNAN: I just think...maybe I've lost my advantage because of all the people I've involved with now. All of the relationships, they complicate logical thought. BOOTH: You don't mean that. BRENNAN: Could we please just work. BOOTH: Sure. (Brennan reaches for the food container while Booth picks up a file.) BOOTH: Salt Lake City? BRENNAN: What? BOOTH: When we arrested Taffet she used her one phone call from jail to Salt Lake City - area code 801. BRENNAN: Well, she's representing herself, so it couldn't be to a lawyer. (Booth dials the phone) BRENNAN: Who would she call in Salt Lake City? VOICE: Larry's Pizza. How may I help you? (He hangs up. They're both confused.) (Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Booth's Office.) BOOTH: None of the employees at the pizza place have a connection to Taffet. None of 'em here have any criminal records. BRENNAN: The phone records show that Taffet hung up after 10 seconds. BOOTH: She didn't request another call. BRENNAN: Angela's matching the number with the numerical sequencing program. This is the number, Booth. This has to be the number. (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. She's running numbers on the screen again) ANGELA: I'm running a numerical sequencing program to see if there's a match with any of our victims. I'm coming up with nothing. (A number starts to form on the screen) ANGELA: Oh, my god. The number is a GPS location. (The program narrows in on a small spot in Nottoway County, Virginia.) (Cut to: Crime Scene in Virgina. An officer is putting up caution tape as Booth and Brennan arrive.) BOOTH: So, everybody out. BRENNAN: Oh, god. BOOTH: Oh, god. (Brennan approaches the old freezer and slides down the top section) BOOTH: It's the kid, isn't it? BRENNAN: (using a flashlight) Terrence Gilroy had a remodeled right ulna from a break when he was 8. (She reaches in and lifts the ulna. It's remodeled.) BRENNAN: Yeah. This is the boy she kidnapped. BOOTH: I'll call the parents. BRENNAN: Why did she lead us here, Booth? Why did she want us to find him? (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform. Brennan and Hodgins are about to start examining the remains of Terrence Gilroy when Caroline stops her.) CAROLINE JULIAN: Hands off! SECURITY GUARD: Ma'am! (Caroline sets off the alarms as she enters the platform.) CAROLINE JULIAN: No one touches a thing! HODGINS: What are you talking about? BRENNAN: This is our chance to get some hard evidence they can't dismiss. CAROLINE JULIAN: Not if you touch it. You can't act as an expert witness in a case when you are also a victim. HODGINS: We aren't victims in this crime. CAROLINE JULIAN: We filed one complaint with seven counts. Since the trial started, you and Dr. Brennan are linked to all the crimes. BRENNAN: That's why Taffet wanted us to find the boY. She knows we're the only people who have the skills to connect her to the crime. HODGINS: And now our hands are tied. BRENNAN: Not if you drop our case. HODGINS: Excuse me? BRENNAN: If Caroline doesn't prosecute our kidnappings, we'd be free to testify as expert witnesses in the boys case. CAROLINE JULIAN: You'd be willing to do that? HODGINS: Noooo. No. Caroline has to prosecute our case. Taffet tried to kill us. BRENNAN: All of our evidence has been thrown out. The rational thing to do is to persue a case with fresh, untained evidence. HODGINS: Are you kidding me?! Is it really that easy for you to forget what happened to us? BRENNAN: I will never forget what happened to us. Or to Booth. Or this boy. You are not the only one suffering, Dr. Hodgins but your emotions have no relevance. Not if we want to convict Taffet. HODGINS: (throwing his gloves on the table) This better work. (He leaves the platform.) CAROLINE JULIAN: I'll have the charges dismissed in the morning; you can start right after that. (Cut to: Brennan's Apartment. She's reading through the files when she hears a knock at the door. She looks through the peep hole; It's Booth.) BOOTH: So the Gilroy kid? He was last seen at the Rockland Mall on June 23. I'm gonna check all Taffet's credit card records for that day too. BRENNAN: Caroline said you can't give expert testimony if she's prosecuting your case. BOOTH: I told Caroline to drop my charges too. I'm not gonna let you do this alone. She's gonna see the judge tomorrow morning at 10 and then we can dive in on all this. BRENNAN: Thanks, Booth. BOOTH: We're partners. That's what we do. Right? BRENNAN: If Taffet is acquitted on this count, she can never be tried again. Maybe that's why she wanted us to find the boy. BOOTH: Yeah, well she arrogant, like Sweets said. And she's misjudging you. BRENNAN: I have nightmares, Booth. Hodgins is bleeding, you're drowning. I-I can't help anyone. BOOTH: Alright, you know what? She's never gonna get the better of you, alright? Just know that. Alright? I promise. Okay? (He hugs her - she hugs him back) (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform. Brennan & Cam are examing Terrence Gilroy's remains.) BRENNAN: These are peri-mortem fractures, bi-laterally on the fifth, sixth and seventh ribs. On the posterior axillary. CAM: And injuries to the greater cornu and the left lateral thyroid and cricoid cartilages. I see injuries like this in victims who've been strangled. BRENNAN: Perhaps he struggled and Taffet was trying to subdue him. CAM: Taffet tasered all her victims - three million volts - that should be enough to knock out a 10 year old boy for at least a few hours. BRENNAN: He wasn't unconscious. These are defensive wounds. Consistent with the boy resisting being placed in the freezer; arms out-stretched. CAM: I'll take samples from under his fingernails. Maybe he scratched her during the struggle. BRENNAN: Maybe she knew that facts in this case wouldn't be consistent with the other crimes and would give her reasonable doubt. (Cut to: Courtroom - Booth is testifying over a montage of Brennan & Hodgins gathering evidence) BOOTH: We have evidence from credit card charges that the defendent was at the Rockland Mall the day that Terrence Gilroy was abducted. The team at the Jeffersonian discovered that the number Taffet called, turned out to be the same as the GPS coordinates as to where the boy was buried. Same M.O., same ransom tape, same demands as the other kidnappings. HEATHER TAFFET: Do you have any evidence that the Gilroy boy was abducted from the mall. BOOTH: It was the last place he was seen. HEATHER TAFFET: So, no. Did anyone else make any purchases at the mall that day or was it just me? BOOTH: Of course they did. HEATHER TAFFET: As for the phone call, that I alledgely made, is it possible that the number was placed in my file by mistake? CAROLINE JULIAN: Objection! Conjecture. JUDGE DUFREY: Sustained. HEATHER TAFFET: Did you know the officer on duty the night I was arrested was from Salt Lake? (This is news to Caroline & Booth) Answer the question, Agent Booth. BOOTH: No. HEATHER TAFFET: Isn't it more likely that he made that call and the number was placed in my file by mistake. CAROLINE JULIAN: Objection! Conjecture again. HEATHER TAFFET: I thought it was reasonable doubt. Very reasonable. CAROLINE JULIAN: Your Honor. HEATHER TAFFET: Withdrawn. No further questions, Your Honor. (Cut to: Courthouse. Booth is leaving the courtroom when he runs into Max.) MAX: You know that Taffet's playing you, right? BOOTH: We're fine, Max. MAX: No. She's got you all on defense. BOOTH: We got the boy, alright? MAX: It's cause she wanted you to. BOOTH: Every psycho takes one step too far and hangs themself. MAX: Not before a lot of innocent people get hurt. I'll see ya later. (Max leaves Booth wondering what he was talking about.) (Cut to: FBI Headquarters - Sweet's Office. He hears a knock on the door - it's Cam.) CAM: Hey. Sorry to bother you. Do you have a minute? SWEETS: Yeah, sure. (Cam enters and sits down) SWEETS: How's it going? CAM: I don't know, actually. It's why I'm here. I'm - I'm worried, Dr. Sweets. I - I - this case is taking its toll on everyone. SWEETS: Including you? CAM: Including me. Yes. SWEETS: It's a very stressful situtaion, I mean, you're not immune to that. CAM: I feel like everything's fraying around the edges. We're all searching for some piece of evidence that can put Taffet away but we keep coming up empty. Everyone feels manipulated by her and I-I should be able to pull everyone together - keep them on track.. SWEETS: You want to guarentee the outcome. (She nods her head) I wish that were possible. You know, we knew this was gonna be an uphill battle. CAM: But did we really believe that? We all knew she was guilty, so someplace we assume that, in a just world, she'd pay for what she did. SWEETS: That assumes a just world, I'm afraid. CAM: These...are my people she hurt. My friends. I should...be able to do something. SWEETS: I know. [SCENE_BREAK] (Cut to: Outside the jail. The Sheriff's Department van is bringing Taffet back for the day. Max emerges from just beyond the fence - rifle in hand. They bring Taffet out, Max aims the rifle. She's in his crosshairs and he's about to shoot when he hears Booth call his name.) BOOTH: Max. You didn't think I was gonna follow you. (Booth starts runnign towards him when he realizes what he's about to do. Max tries to line up the shot but Booth tackles him to the ground before he can.) BOOTH: Max, this is what you want? MAX: Don't trust the system, Booth! BOOTH: You miss, you compromise the case, Taffet walks. MAX: I don't miss. (Max punches Booth and goes for his gun. Booth gets back up and punches him back BOOTH: When are you gonna learn to stop messing with me, huh? MAX: You're making a big mistake; Tempe could die. BOOTH: okay, up. Come on. (He pulls Max off the ground) (Cut to: FBI Headquarters. Booth and Brennan are getting off the elevator.) BRENNAN: He tried to kill her? BOOTH: Well, he had a rifle pointed right at her so you do the math. BRENNAN: Why, why would he do that? BOOTH: To protect you and a career criminal, like Max, he obviously doesn't trust the legal system. BRENNAN: Wha-I'm sorry. I wish he were different. BOOTH: Yeah, me too. You know, he socked me in the eye too. (Brennan's phone rings) BRENNAN: (answering) Brennan. MAX: (on phone, in jail) Hey, honey. I need you to bail me out. BRENNAN: What! No, dad! MAX: I was doing it for you. BRENNAN: No! I don't want you to kill people for me! Just buy me a sweater, like a regular dad. BOOTH: (to Max) Leave her alone, Max. BRENNAN: Booth says you're not getting out until after the trial is over. I have to go. MAX: I've got a bad back. You know what the beds are like in jail. BRENNAN: Goodbye, dad. (She hangs up her phone) BOOTH: I'm sorry, Bones. I'm sure this is the last thing you want to deal with. BRENNAN: Yeah. Part of me wishes he did it. BOOTH: Well, not the good parts so let's just keep our eye on the ball. (Brennan nods.) So, any news about the boy? BRENNAN: I'm getting an accurate recreation of the assailant from the fracture patterns on his remains and it's a match for Taffet. I'm putting a presentation together. BOOTH: The kid, he put up a good fight. BRENNAN: There's evidence of strong resistence. Yes. BOOTH: At least he didn't go easy. (He picks up a picture of Parker.) Parker, he'd do the same thing. Probably bite her ear off and run. BRENNAN: What, he'd bite her? BOOTH: Yeah. 10 year olds...it's kinda their thing. Bite. (Brennan realizes something) BRENNAN: I have to get back to the lab. (She runs out of his office) (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform.) BRENNAN: If the boy bit her, there should be some evidence on his maxilla, mandible or his teeth. HODGINS: The teeth seem to have been cleaned. Taffet probably wiped them off. BRENNAN: Second left premolar is chipped. There might be some trace in the abrasion, maybe some tissue from Heather Taffet. HODGINS: Saliva contains amylase that would have broken down any bits of tissue. BRENNAN: Not if it were imbedded between the teeth or under the gum line. (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Angela, Hodgins & Cam are listening to the results of Angela's work on the audio. The audio is still a bit jumbled, but you can definitely start to hear Taffet's voice coming through.) THE GRAVEDIGGER: If I don't receive the money in the numbered account within eight hours, your child will die. This is the last... ANGELA: Okay, this encryption is a rolling code split band voice inversion. Individual frequencies between the clicks are inverted and recombined. I applied software that decrypts each of the 423 separate segments until the voice becomes clear. THE GRAVEDIGGER: If I don't receive the money in the numbered account within eight hours, your child will die. This is the last time you will hear from me. There will be no further... (Audio becomes clear - it's Heather Taffet) CAM: You did it, Angela. It's Taffet. ANGELA: Like to see her explain away that one. THE GRAVEDIGGER: (audio) If I don't receive the money in the numbered account within eight hours, your child will die. (Cut to: Fade into Courthouse - Courtroom. Angela is on the stand playing the decrypted audio clip of the ransom tape) THE GRAVEDIGGER: (audio) This is the last time you will hear from me. There will be no further communications. CAROLINE JULIAN: And in your expert opinion, Ms. Montenegro, whose voice is that? ANGELA: It's Heather Taffet. The frequency and vocal patterns are an exact match when compared to unencrypted recordings of her voice. CAROLINE JULIAN: Thank you. No further questions. HEATHER TAFFET: That was very impressive, Ms. Montenegro. Could you share your credentials with the court? ANGELA: I have a bachelor of fine arts from the University of Texas with a minor in computer science. And I've also studied biomedical illustration at American University. HEATHER TAFFET: But you do not have a degree in sound engineering, is that correct? ANGELA: No. CAROLINE JULIAN: Objection. Ms. Montenegro has numerous patents pending from her work in auditory forensic reconstruction. HEATHER TAFFET: The homeless man on my street has a patent pending for a time machine. That doesn't mean I'm going to ask him to testify in court. JUDGE DUFREY: That's enough, Ms. Taffet. Do you have anything else for this witness? HEATHER TAFFET: Yes, Your Honor. I'd like to introduce into evidence item 461B, which is a deconstruction of the same ransom tape by former FBI special Agent Graham Steele, who has a Phd in forensic auditory analysis from the University of Pennsylvania. ANGELA'S VOICE: (audio) If I don't receive the money in the numbered account within eight hours, your child will die. This is the last time you will hear from me. There will be no further communications. ANGELA: Th-that isn't me. He obviously manipulated the pitch and the timbre of the voice. HEATHER TAFFET: Isn't that what you did? ANGELA: No. Those sound waves have an underlying pattern of frequency modulation. Like a fingerprint. HEATHER TAFFET: Whatever the technical jargon, it seems clear that anyone, even someone without any credentials, can make one voice sound like another. CAROLINE JULIAN: Objection! Counsel is making speeches. JUDGE DUFREY: Sustained. HEATHER TAFFET: I'm sorry, Your Honor. No further questions. (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Brennan's Office. Booth walks in.) BOOTH: Hey, Bones, you ready for court? BRENNAN: Yes. I have a video presentation which shows the victim sustained rib fractures as well as a fracture of the lateral epicondyle of the left distal... BOOTH: What do you say we ease up on the scientific stuff, okay? BRENNAN: The science gives us the height of the assailant. 162 centimeters. Taffet's height. BOOTH: That's...that's..that's good and all, but Taffet's kind of had a field day, you know, trashing the whole technical goobledy stuff. And the jury seems to like her for it. BRENNAN: But those are the facts. BOOTH: It's how you present the facts that win or lose a case. Bones, the jury needs to know what that little boy went through. BRENNAN: I've - I've testified before, Booth. I'll be fine. We-we should go. BOOTH: Okay. (Cut to: Courthouse - Courtroom. Brennan is on the stand, testifying to what happened to Terrence Gilroy) BRENNAN: Terrence Gilroy's left greater cornu of the hyoid was compressed, indicating that the assailant strangled the young boy using only one hand--the dominant left hand, in this case. CAROLINE JULIAN: I'd like to submit writing samples which confirm that the defendant is left-handed. HEATHER TAFFET: No objection, as long as it's also noted that 8% of the general population is also left-handed. Including you, Your Honor. JUDGE DUFREY: Continue. BRENNAN: The victim sustained a fracture of the lateral epicondyle and the shaft of the left distal humerus. (she looks at Booth) Perhaps I can be clearer. Terrence Gilroy's bones could only have been broken by someone kneeling on top of him as they pushed him into the freezer. The radiating fracture lines show that this assailant had to be between 125 and 135 pounds-- the weight of the defendant. HEATHER TAFFET: Objection. This is speculation. BRENNAN: Are you questioning my qualifications? Because you will not find a more experienced or respected forensic anthropologist anywhere in the world. So I'd appreciate not being interrupted until I finish testifying. JUDGE DUFREY: Dr. Brennan, I'll make the rulings here. Overruled. Continue. BRENNAN: Since these broken bones were caused by the assailant's knees and the chipping on the boy's kneecaps was caused by the toes of her heavy boots, we can determine the length of her shin. CAROLINE JULIAN: And what is the significance of the shin length? BRENNAN: It gives us the height of the assailant, which is five feet, four inches. The same height as the defendant. It is clear from the circumstantial evidence and these facts that this child was attacked with vicious cruelty by Ms. Taffet. HEATHER TAFFET: Objection. The jury makes that determination, not the witness. BRENNAN: The five-foot-four assailant - crushed the boy's chest, choked him and finally caused him a torturous death by burying him alive. HEATHER TAFFET: Objection. Speculation. She can't know what the witness felt. BRENNAN: I was buried alive. Which makes me uniquely qualified to comment on its horror. HEATHER TAFFET: Objection, Your Honor. This is grandstanding. Unless the witness has any additional facts... JUDGE DUFREY: Sustained. Do you have any further questions for Dr. Brennan, Ms. Julian? CAROLINE JULIAN: No, Your Honor. I learned everything I need to know. Your witness. HEATHER TAFFET: Dr. Brennan, don't you think your trauma as a kidnapping victim prevents you from being objective? CAROLINE JULIAN: Objection. She is testifying as an expert witness, not a victim. HEATHER TAFFET: She brought up being buried alive, Your Honor. JUDGE DUFREY: She did, Ms. Julian. Overruled. HEATHER TAFFET: It's only natural that you would want to construct facts that would give you some closure and peace. BRENNAN: I resent your implication. I do not let my emotions cloud my findings. HEATHER TAFFET: No, not intentionally, of course. CAROLINE JULIAN: Is there a question coming? HEATHER TAFFET: Yes. Sorry. Dr. Brennan, you are currently seeing an FBI psychologist, are you not? BRENNAN: What - that has nothing to do with... HEATHER TAFFET: A yes or no is all that's required, Dr. Brennan. Are you currently seeing an FBI psychologist? BRENNAN: Yes, but... HEATHER TAFFET: Thank you. No further questions. BRENNAN: No, that has nothing to do with this case. My findings are sound. JUDGE DUFREY: You may step down, Dr. Brennan. BRENNAN: My findings are sound. (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. A picture of a dust mite is on the screen) CAM: A dust mite? SWEETS: So that little bug is gonna save us? HODGINS: Oh, don't call him a bug. Sounds insulting. We reexamined the boy's teeth and found it wedged between the right lateral incisor and canine. Dust mites eat dead human skin cells and this one's stomach sac is full. CAM: If the boy bit Taffet, the skin cells are probably hers. Whatever's left is gonna be small, but there might be enough to give us DNA. (Cut to: Courthouse - Courtroom. Hodgins is on the stand.) HODGINS: This is a dermatophagoides farinae. CAROLINE JULIAN: For those of us who don't speak insect, what is that, exactly? HODGINS: It's a dust mite: an insect found on clothes, but it also feeds on the cells of the person wearing those clothes. CAROLINE JULIAN: And where was this dust mite found? HODGINS: Between Terrence Gilroy's teeth. It was transferred there when the boy bit the person who kidnapped him. CAROLINE JULIAN: And how do we know that? (Cut to: Courthouse - Courtroom. Cam is now on the stand.) CAM: The dust mite contained human female epithelial cells. We extracted those cells and ran them through several DNA databases. The cells belonged to Heather Taffet. CAROLINE JULIAN: Nothing further, your honor. JUDGE DUFREY: Your witness, Ms. Taffet. HEATHER TAFFET: It seems that you have neglected to include a sample of the evidence that I could have tested independently. CAM: Since there were so few cells in the mite, the testing destroyed the sample, but the procedures and results are all contained in our documentation. HEATHER TAFFET: Let me get this right. I have access to your notes, but I can't examine the actual evidence because you destroyed it? CAROLINE JULIAN: Your Honor, in California versus Trombetta, the Supreme Court ruled that the prosecution could destroy a sample to test for DNA because there was no bad faith. HEATHER TAFFET: Bad faith? The motives of every single person at the Jeffersonian are suspect and now their only physical evidence is gone. Ff it existed at all. CAROLINE JULIAN: I've just about had it with your snide, unsubstantiated allegations. HEATHER TAFFET: As have I. JUDGE DUFREY: That's enough, Ms. Julian. HEATHER TAFFET: Your Honor, I would like to file a motion to have this unverifiable DNA evidence dismissed. JUDGE DUFREY: Protocol has been followed, Ms. Taffet. It's up to the jury to decide how the evidence will figure in the outcome of this case. Your motion is denied. (Cut to: Founding Fathers - Booth is bringing drinks over to Brennan - who is sitting at a table already.) BOOTH: Did you see Taffet's face? She was completely blindsided. Okay, Caroline's closing...it's going to kill. Alright, so here we go. (they raise their glasses and toast) That's it, huh? (Booth looks at Brennan. She doesn't look happy) Are you okay, Bones? Your team just nailed Taffet. BRENNAN: I'm just tired. BOOTH: Yeah. Yeah. It's been - it's been a tough case. BRENNAN: It's not just the case. I'm tired of...of all of it. I'm tired of dealing with murders and victims and sadness and pain. BOOTH: Well, Bones, that's what we do. Alright? We catch the bad people and we make the world a better place. BRENNAN: No, Booth. That's what you do and somehow I got caught up into it. BOOTH: Wait a sec. Hold on. You were dealing with dead people long before we got together. BRENNAN: As a researcher, an anthropologist. That's how I can make the world a better place. BOOTH: And you do. Come on. You make the world a great place. Hey. Cheers to that, alright? You're just anxious. Alright? And tomorrow, when we have won, everything will be perfect. It'll be fine. (He looks at her, thinking that this time, he may be wrong. Maybe everything won't be perfect - since it hasn't been for a while.) (Cut to: Courthouse - Courtroom. Caroline Julian and Heather Taffet are presenting their closing arguments.) CAROLINE JULIAN: We are here to seek justice for this 10 year old boy who was kidnapped, brutally beaten and buried alive by Heather Taffet. Taffet was seen where this child was abducted. She matches the size of the assailant. She's left-handed. Her voice was discovered on the ransom tapes. HEATHER TAFFET: It all sounds very reasonable, doesn't it? These so-called facts were compiled by people who themselves were victims of a vicious criminal who has not yet been caught. They need a scapegoat. CAROLINE JULIAN: But only Heather Taffet could have the DNA that was found in this child's mouth. That evidence was delivered to us in death by this brave boy. HEATHER TAFFET: And yet, the only people who saw that dust mite, the only people who touched the alleged epithelial cells were two kidnap victims! One a known conspiracy theorist, the other a traumatized anthropologist who's currently being treated by a psychologist. And Dr. Saroyan, who couldn't perform her job without destroying the evidence, conveniently preventing me from mounting a defense. CAROLINE JULIAN: Because she has no defense, except slandering these experts. They have told you what Heather Taffet did to that boy. HEATHER TAFFET: The law is clear. You cannot convict a person based on innuendo or groundless accusations. I weep for that boy. No child should suffer like that and whoever did this... CAROLINE JULIAN: ...should never be allowed to walk among decent people again. For that boy, for justice, you must return a verdict of... HEATHER TAFFET: Not guilty. Because it's clear that I am a scapegoat. I am innocent. Thank you. (Cut to: Courthouse - Hallway. Everyone is gathered, waiting for the verdict to come back) BOOTH: What'd I tell you, huh? Caroline nailed it in there. HODGINS: Taffet was pretty convincing in there, too. BOOTH: You know what, Hodgins? You ever see the bright side in things? HODGINS: You know what, Booth? You're right. 'cause no matter what happens in there, I've got Angela. ANGELA: Hodgins. HODGINS: It's okay. I don't care, Angie. Look, Taffet's not going to make the rules anymore. I want our friends to know. I want everybody to know. Okay. Angela and I are married. BRENNAN: What? CAM: Ohh... BOOTH: Hey, look at that, huh? BRENNAN: (hugging Angela) When, Ang? ANGELA: In jail. Hodgins wanted to wait until (Brennan hugs Hodgins) this was over so everybody could be happy for us. BRENNAN: This isn't another pregnancy scare, is it? ANGELA: No. No, this is - this is love. (Booth and Brennan look at each other) SWEETS: So, why were you hiding this from us? HODGINS: Ah, I was having trouble dealing with things because of the trial. Then I thought...screw it. CAROLINE JULIAN: The jury's back. (Cut to: Courthouse - Courtroom. Everyone is seated, waiting for the verdict to be read.) JUDGE DUFREY: The defendant will rise for the reading of the verdict. In count one, the kidnapping of Terrence Gilroy, the jury finds the defendant, Heather Taffet, guilty. (everyone starts to mutter) Order, or I will clear the court. In count two, the murder of Terrence Gilroy, the jury finds the defendant...Guilty. (Everyone stands up and cheers) The defendant is remanded into custody until sentencing. We are adjourned. (Brennan and Booth hug, then she looks over toward Taffet.) HEATHER TAFFET: (to Brennan) This isn't over. (Brennan looks back at her, worried.) (Cut to: Founding Fathers - The gang is all there, having drinks to celebrate their victory.) MAX: I was out of town for a couple of days. Well, I knew Tempe had everything under control. She didn't need me. BRENNAN: Uh-huh. BOOTH: Alright, let's just raise our glasses here. To the squints, okay? Come on. CAM: To Booth. BRENNAN: And Caroline. EVERYONE: Hear, hear. Hear, hear. SWEETS: You know, I never doubted any of you- not for a minute. BOOTH: Where'd you come from? Huh? HODGINS: Oh, come on. CAROLINE JULIAN: Oh, please. BOOTH: Okay, let's not forget the happy couple (he throws confetti at Angela & Hodgins) over here. BRENNAN: Yes, best wishes for a successful blending of familial obligations as well as monetary and property consolidation. What? (Cut to: Outside Founding Fathers. Everyone is leaving and throwing confetti at Hodgins and Angela. CAM: Congratulations! (Hodgins, Angela, Cam and Sweets walk away, celebrating, leaving Brennan and her dad standing on the sidewalk.) MAX: I guess I'll go home. BRENNAN: A real bed is probably going to feel good. MAX: I'm sorry that I, uh... that I doubted you. BRENNAN: Sweets would say that subconsciously you wanted Booth to catch you so you and I wouldn't have to be separated again. (Max hugs Brennan) MAX: Smart guy, that Sweets. I love you, honey. (Booth comes out of Founding Fathers and joins them) BOOTH: Thanks for leaving me with the bill again. That's nice of you. MAX: Your fault, Booth. My wallet got stolen in jail. BOOTH: Yeah. MAX: Bye. (He walks away, leaving Booth & Brennan on the sidewalk, alone) BOOTH: Can't believe they actually got hitched. BRENNAN: I know. (They watch as their friends disappear around the corner at the end of the street.) I have this sense that everything's changing, Booth. BOOTH: Well, not everything. Look, we're still partners. Right? And-and Taffet. She's-she's put away. I mean, you're feeling good about that, right? BRENNAN: You almost died, Booth. That can happen again. What if, next time, I can't get to you? BOOTH: It's not going to happen again. BRENNAN: I envy your ability to substitute optimism for reality. BOOTH: You know what? Maybe you just need to take some time off. Go to a beach. Lay in the sun. BRENNAN: I might need more than a little time. BOOTH: Don't make any decisions about your future right now. BRENNAN: I'm just saying... BOOTH: You know when a dentist gives you anesthetic and tells you not to operate any heavy machinery or make any important decisions within 24 hours? Alright, this case was bigger than a root canal. Come on, let's just go back inside and have one more drink. Come on. Just one. (He reaches for her hand but she pulls away and goes to hail a cab.) BRENNAN: No. I'm tired, Booth. I-I-I'm going to go home. BOOTH: Alright. Come on. Let's-we'll get you in the cab. (the cab pulls up) I know, it's-it's been a long, long day. Alright, get in there, alright? (she gets into the cab) Hey. I'll see you tomorrow, alright? (She doesn't respond. He closes the door and watches as the taxi drives away. She turns around and looks at him. It's like deja vu. They're back at the beginning.) END.

Plan: A: prosecutor Caroline Julian; Q: Who is Patricia Belcher? A: Heather Taffet; Q: Who is the Gravedigger? A: Deirdre Lovejoy; Q: Who plays Heather Taffet? A: a young boy; Q: Whose remains were discovered by Brennan, Booth, and Hodgins? A: Brennan's father; Q: Who tries to kill Brennan with a sniper rifle? A: several attempts; Q: How many attempts did Hodgins make to find evidence that Taffet successfully argued against A: the boy's mouth; Q: Where did Hodgins find the dust mite that contained the DNA of Taffet? A: the jury; Q: Who convicts Taffet of kidnapping and murder? A: drinks; Q: What do the Jeffersonian team celebrate over at the Founding Fathers bar? Summary: The Jeffersonian team and prosecutor Caroline Julian ( Patricia Belcher ) work to convict Heather Taffet aka the Gravedigger ( Deirdre Lovejoy ) who is defending herself at her trial. Brennan, Booth, and Hodgins are forced to drop their own charges against Taffet once they discover the missing remains of a young boy who was killed by the Gravedigger, so they could work and testify against Taffet. Believing Taffet will not be convicted, Brennan's father tries to kill her with a sniper rifle, but Booth is able to stop him and Max is jailed until the trial is over. After several attempts at finding evidence that Taffet successfully argues against, Hodgins discover a dust mite from the boy's mouth that contains the DNA of Taffet, left there when he bit her. This evidence proves successful and the jury convicts Taffet of kidnapping and murder, but Taffet warns Brennan "that it's not over". The team later celebrate over drinks at the Founding Fathers bar.

[EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [EXT. VARIOUS DESERT (STOCK)- NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DESERT - NIGHT] (A naked man runs in the desert. He looks desperately behind him as he runs away from something.) (He runs and runs and runs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DESERT - DAY] (The camera shutter clicks as WARRICK takes a photo of the crime scene. In front of him, GRISSOM kneels over the body while NICK stands behind him watching.) Grissom: Maggots. This kid's been here awhile. (GRISSOM turns the body over to its side. WARRICK continues to photograph the body.) Grissom: No gunshot wounds. No stab marks. No signs of strangulation. Warrick: It's a long way out in the sticks just to drop dead. (GRISSOM stands up and looks around.) Grissom: (sighs) Not if you're being chased. (GRISSOM starts to walk around to look at the ground around the body.) Grissom: Look at the foot patterns leading up to the body. See the strides? This kid was running. (GRISSOM kneels down by a footprint impression in the dirt.) Grissom: See the left foot impression? It's straight; that's normal. (GRISSOM looks at the next print.) Grissom: But look at the right foot impression. It's turned outward. Almost 90 degrees. Warrick: He was looking over his shoulder when he was running. Think there was somebody else here? Grissom: Based on these prints, it's hard to tell. Warrick: (to the OFFICER) Can I get this taped off here? Officer: Yes, sir. (GRISSOM kneels down back at the body and looks at it again.) Warrick: So you want to call it? How do you think he died? Grissom: Fear. (beat) Someone chased this kid to death. HARD CUT TO: END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE - NIGHT] (GRISSOM'S working in his darkened office. He adjusts the overhead lamp, then writes something down. He's working on an experiment. He as a pan with a piece of paper in some kind of liquid with the different colored light above it.) (He again adjusts the light and checks the meter reading.) (GRISSOM'S phone rings. He answers it.) Grissom: (to phone) Grissom. (pause) No. (pause) No, yes, I did. Thank you. (GRISSOM hangs the phone up and puts it down on the table beside him. He goes back to his experiment.) (Someone knocks on the door lightly and it opens. CATHERINE and WARRICK walks in. They glance around in the darkened office looking for GRISSOM.) Catherine: Hey, you want to give us our assignments or do you want us to take... the night off? (GRISSOM adjusts the light again.) Grissom: (irritated) Paperwork, paper clips, paper-punchers -- all these people want me to do is push paper; nobody wants me to solve crimes. Catherine: Hey, (shrugs) ... you could've turned the job down. Grissom: Yeah, the grass is always greener, Catherine. (GRISSOM adjusts the light again, not making a move to get up.) (CATHERINE waits a moment, then reaches out to help him.) Catherine: Well let's just hurry this up. (She grabs the lamp and pulls it down into the pan below. It immediately catches fire.) (GRISSOM sighs.) Warrick: Cool. Catherine: You really want to see flash paper flash? Walk in on a bookie. Grissom: That's what this was about-- bookies. (GRISSOM'S phone rings again. CATHERINE turns and walks over to GRISSOM'S desk.) Catherine: Don't answer it. (She grabs the assignment sheets off of the desk and hands them to GRISSOM.) Catherine: We've got work to do ... boss. (The phone continues to ring. GRISSOM grabs the assignments from CATHERINE and follows them out of the office. He hangs the phone up and tosses it on the table as he leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY - NIGHT] (Walking through the hallway, GRISSOM hands out the assignments.) Grissom: Warrick, you and I are on the four-nineteen -- our dead body in the desert. (GRISSOM hands the assignment sheet to WARRICK. He takes it.) Grissom: Sara, dead body of your own. Dumpsite out near Henderson. (SARA takes the assignment sheet from GRISSOM and looks at it.) Sara: Oh, I'll dress down. Grissom: Catherine, Verbum Dei Charter School. Four-twenty homicide. The school dean was killed in his office. Suspect called it in; could be self-defense. (CATHERINE takes the sheet. She and SARA continue down one hallway, while GRISSOM stops at the intersection.) Catherine: Did some kid off him with a silver spoon? Grissom: (calls back) Suspect's not a kid. It's the woman who founded the school. Take Nicky with you. Catherine: Where is he? (NICK rushes out from the room and into the hallway. He catches up with CATHERINE and SARA.) Nick: Here I am. Catherine: You're coming with me. (CATHERINE holds out the assignment sheet to NICK. He grabs it and looks at it.) Sara: Glad you could make it. (NICK stares at SARA. SARA grins back at NICK.) Sara: I'm outta here. Good luck tonight, you guys. NICK See you. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - NIGHT] (DR. JENNA WILLIAMS goes over the boy's body with GRISSOM and WARRICK.) Warrick: Can't make a ruling? Look at the bruise marks on John Doe here. I call that suffocation. Dr. Jenna Williams: Not necessarily. It could be the result of his face impacting the ground at expiration. Warrick: I'm going to take a mouth swab. Dr. Jenna Williams: Go ahead. Grissom, I have something to show you. (DR. WILLIAMS leads GRISSOM to the counter off to the side of the room.) Dr. Jenna Williams: You know, when a kid this young drops dead smart money chases anesthetics, alcohol methanol, maybe even a little freon. (WARRICK takes the swab sample of the mouth.) Dr. Jenna Williams: I got to be honest. I've had a lot of dead bodies from the desert and when they're out there too long the elements tend to eat away the evidence. My opinion is ... (she gestures down at the body) ... you are looking at the picture of health, internally. Externally, it's another matter. (She motions to the scope on the counter.) Dr. Jenna Williams: Skin sample. (GRISSOM looks through the scope.) [SCOPE VIEW of the skin.] Grissom: (o.s.) This kid was dry as a bone. (He straightens and looks at DR. WILLIAMS.) Grissom: From exposure? Dr. Jenna Williams: Skin's not consistent with elemental damage. (stumped) Warrick told me what you said about the cause of death being fear. I never read about that in any medical book. Grissom: Try the Forensic Medical Journal. Read the four canons on the cause of death: Homicide, suicide, natural and unexplained. Talks about fear in the last part of "unexplained." Dr. Jenna Williams: (to WARRICK) I had to ask. Grissom: You want to know what killed this kid? Benihana the maggots. Warrick: What the maggots? Grissom: Tox the maggots we found on the victim. Whatever he ingested has probably evaporated from the sun. But the maggots are like little refrigerators. They preserve what we digest for longer periods of time. Warrick: Entomology is our friend. Grissom: Yes. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA/CHEM LAB - NIGHT] (Extreme close up of a maggot in the grip of a forceps. Camera refocuses and we see WARRICK is staring at the maggot.) Warrick: (to the maggot) Sorry, little buddy. (WARRICK puts the maggot down on the table. He holds out his hand like a surgeon about to perform surgery.) Warrick: Scalpel. (GREG sits in the chair next to him and hands WARRICK the scalpel.) Greg Sanders: My name is Paul and this is between y'all. Warrick: Talk about pulp fiction. (WARRICK chops the little maggot into maggot pieces and puts it in the mortar. He steps aside and motions to GREG.) Warrick: It's all yours, doc. (GREG stands and smashes the maggot pieces into maggot mush.) Warrick: Fire up that gas chromatograph mass spectrometer thing, will you? Greg Sanders: No problem, son. (GREG takes a sample and tests it.) Greg Sanders: Fifteen seconds till pay dirt. Warrick: Cool. Greg Sanders: Play any pigskin, man? Warrick: No, I'm off that. Greg Sanders: It's prime time for you. Warrick: I haven't made a bet in a month. I can't say I don't have that itch, though. (The machine beeps and the results print out. GREG grabs it and looks it over.) Greg Sanders: Hmm. Haven't seen this stuff for a while. Grissom: What's that? Greg Sanders: Jimsonweed. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT] (SARA walks up into the alley past the coroner's van. She walks up to the DETECTIVE on the case and puts her kit down on the ground.) Sara: (motions to the dumpster) Do you have a name? Det. Evans: She's not exactly carrying a purse. (He helps SARA step up to the dumpster. SARA looks inside and sees the woman's body wrapped in plastic. She snaps some photos.) Sara: Oh ... (camera shutter clicking) okay, let's take her out. (DETECTIVE EVANS helps SARA down.) Sara: Thanks. Officers: Sure. (The CORONER'S wheel in a gurney.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. ALLEYWAY -- DUMPSTER - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (SARA removes the plastic from the woman's face. She presses her index finger into the woman's cheek and looks at the stuff on her finger.) (Camera zooms in for an extreme close up to show the clear gell-like substance.) Sara: That's strange. Det. Evans: What's that? Sara: Glazed like a doughnut. (SARA turns to look at the body.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - NIGHT] (DAVID PHILLIPS explains the findings to SARA as they walk into the autopsy area.) David Phillips: Well, here's the reason the skin was funny. Sara: Formaldehyde, right? David Phillips: Close. Biotone arterial. Promotes high diffusion and fast drainage in skin tissue. Sara: So I was right. This woman's been embalmed. (SARA takes the seat in front of the monitor.) David Phillips: Yeah. Yeah, I already ran her prints through work here. Got an I.D. right here. (SARA works on the computer and the computer beeps.) David Phillips: (flusters) I, uh, I just want to say I-I ... well, I really admire the gusto with which you approach your job. (DAVID walks around and stands in front of SARA. He smiles.) Sara: (glances from the monitor to DAVID) Are you hitting on me, David? David Phillips: Uh ... (DAVID smiles and looks down at his shoes bashfully. SARA is flattered.) Sara: Let me give you some friendly advice. If you want to pull chicks, you've got to get aggressive. You've gotta drop the glasses, lose the coat grow some scruff. (DAVID appears quietly dejected at the advice.) Sara: (smiles) You do get a "C" for cute, though. (DAVID glances back up at SARA, sees her smile and smiles back at her.) (SARA turns back to the computer. The ID information appears on the monitor.) Sara: (reading) "Stephanie Reyes was laid to rest at Desert Haven Funeral Home." Her funeral was last week. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. VERBUM DEI CHARTER SCHOOL - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. VERBUM DEI CHARTER SCHOOL - DEAN'S OFFICE - NIGHT] (CATHERINE and NICK enter into DEAN VERNON WOOD'S office. DET. KANE stands inside the room taking notes.) Catherine: Hi. Det. Kane: Hey. Catherine: What do you got? (DET. KANE looks at his notes.) Det. Kane: Vernon Woods, Dean of the school. Forty-nine, single. Multiple blunt-force trauma wounds to the head. Catherine: With that, probably. (Next to the body is a bloodied object.) Nick: I got it. Man, check out all that blood spatter. (Camera pans around the room to show the bloodied walls. The camera also lingers on the blood spatter across a Teacher's award.) Catherine: Yeah. Blows to the head, up close and personal. A lot of passion around this one. (to the DETECTIVE) How about the suspect? Det. Kane: Kate Armstrong. Founded the school. She called 9-1-1 herself. She says he attacked her. She's out in the hallway. (CATHERINE steps out of the room. NICK continues to take pictures.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. VERBUM DEI CHARTER SCHOOL - HALLWAY - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (CATHERINE interviews KATE ARMSTRONG.) Kate Armstrong: He wouldn't let go of me. He kept pawing. I can still smell his aftershave. (sobbing) I mean ... it's all a blur. I grabbed the closest thing I could and I hit him with it. Catherine: A rock? Kate Armstrong: I don't know what it was. I didn't care. I just wanted him off of me. Catherine: How many times did you hit him? Kate Armstrong: Once. (Quick flashback to: Inside Dean VERNON WOODS' office, he has KATE ARMSTRONG in his arms. She struggles against him.) Vernon Woods: What's the matter? Come on. No one's going to hear. Everyone's in class. Where's the harm? (KATE looks down on the desk and grabs the rock.) Kate Armstrong: I said get off of me! (She hits him on the forehead and he lets her go.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: Miss Armstrong ... were you and the Dean having a personal relationship? Kate Armstrong: No. No. Vernon's a pig. Catherine: Then why did you hire him? You founded the school. It's your integrity on the line. Kate Armstrong: He's great at raising money. His donor list is huge. I didn't mean to kill him. (sniffling) I just wanted him to leave me alone. Catherine: But you hit him more than once. Kate Armstrong: Who knows. I ... Catherine: Well, you hit a man once, there's no blood. The first hit's free. You hit him more than that ... (clears throat) The walls in his office look like the Dean went a couple rounds with Mike Tyson. Kate Armstrong: Then I hit him more than once. Like I said, I just ... I wanted him off me. Catherine: Will you excuse me? Officer. Thanks. (CATHERINE steps away and motions for the OFFICER. She meets up with NICK at the end of the hallway.) Nick: What did you find out? Catherine: Heavy on B.S., zippo on truth. Nick: You don't seem too bummed about it. Catherine: Hell, no. I'm stoked. (sotto voce) We drew the best case, Nicky. I can feel it. Nick: Mm-hmm. Then there's only one thing left to do. Catherine: String it. Nick: String it. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE - NIGHT] (BOBBY TAYLOR looks from BRASS to GRISSOM.) Bobby Taylor: I've never filed a missing person's report before but I'm getting concerned about Eric. Brass: Where was the last place you saw your friend? Bobby Taylor: After work, we went out. (BOBBY absently scratches his right arm near the elbow and through his shirt.) Brass: You two work together? Bobby Taylor: No. A few blocks apart. I'm over at Voosh's, you know? Voosh's fireworks. And he's at Element Sound, the music store. Brass: You guys go into the desert? Bobby Taylor: Yeah. A party out near red rock. How did you know? Brass: You just told us. (BOBBY'S impressed. He chuckles.) Brass: So spill it. (BOBBY absently scratches his arm and tries to remember what they did.) Bobby Taylor: We, uh, drank a couple beers hung out, and ... then I just lost track of him around midnight and I haven't seen him since. Grissom: Did you guys drop anything that night? Ecstasy, crystal, "G"? Bobby Taylor: No. No way. Look, do you ... do you know where Eric is or not? Grissom: Bobby, we found a body that matches your description of Eric. Would you be willing to identify him? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MORGUE - NIGHT] (GRISSOM lifts the sheet off of ERIC BERKELEY'S body) Grissom: Is this your friend? (Standing quite a distance away, BOBBY glances up, recognizes his friend and starts to cry.) Bobby Taylor: (sniffs) Oh, god ... what happened to you, Eric? Oh, god ... (GRISSOM watches, not unaffected by the young man.) (There's a light knock at the door. WARRICK pushes the door open and signals GRISSOM with a file folder in his hand.) Warrick: Hey, boss, I got something for you. (GRISSOM walks over to the door, leaving BOBBY with ERIC.) Warrick: (sotto voce) I did the whole tox-the-maggots thing like you said. Found jimsonweed in their blood. (GRISSOM nods.) Grissom: Which means? Warrick: Jimsonweed in Eric's blood. Grissom: Jimson Weed. "dry as a bone, red as a beet blind as a bat, mad as a hatter." Warrick: Really? Cite your sources. Grissom: (shrugs and shakes his head) Internet insomnia. Warrick: I thought Brass just said that they weren't doing any drugs. (GRISSOM gives WARRICK a look.) Warrick: (nods) Yeah. (They both turn to look back at BOBBY who's still crying over ERIC.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. VERBUM DEI CHARTER SCHOOL - DEAN'S OFFICE -EARLY MORNING] (NICK is inside DEAN VERNON WOODS' office, pulling the first string across the office from the body to the blood spatter.) (Dissolve to: NICK reaches the wall and has the first string completely up. He steps back away from the wall.) (Cut to: Several strings are completed. NICK works his way to the wall.) (Dissolve to: NICK crawls under the string already hanging and ties the new string to the lamp.) (Cut to: Camera starts on several pink colored string already up. NICK is at the wall working.) (Cut to: NICK continues to lay out the string. Dissolve to: NICK working his way to the wall, crawling under the string already set up.) (He stands up and looks around. He lifts the micro-cassette tape recorder and starts to dictate his notes.) Nick: (to tape) Blood spatter on northwest wall. Blood sprays northeast corner above ... (NICK looks around. The door opens and CATHERINE walks into the office.) Catherine: Wow. (NICK nods to CATHERINE as she closes the door.) Catherine: Now, there's a look I like to see-- confusion. (NICK chuckles.) Nick: No, I'm not confused. X marks the spot. A blow here ... here ... and here. Our dean received the majority of blows when he was on the ground. Catherine: Cast-off from the weapon against the window. Nick: Mm-hmm. Catherine: The back wall ... void... against the back wall. (CATHERINE points out the obvious empty spot on the wall to NICK. She looks down.) Catherine: The floor under the body? Nick: The blood spatter has a void instead of one continuous line of spray. Catherine: There's an interruption -- a space where something or someone comes between the blood coming off the body and the wall. Nick: Which means our assailant was here and ... there was somebody else in this room. Catherine: Kate Armstrong is lying. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM - NIGHT] (GRISSOM and WARRICK are with BOBBY TAYLOR in the break room. WARRICK puts a glass of juice on the table in front of BOBBY TAYLOR.) Warrick: Fruit juice, half ice. Grissom: Thanks, Warrick. Bobby Taylor: The guy said it was natural -- that it wasn't a drug. I mean, jimsonweed is a plant. Grissom: Most drugs derive from plants. That doesn't make them safe. Warrick: Or legal, for that matter. Bobby Taylor: Yeah, but he said it was safe. That's why we bought it. (WARRICK sits down.) Warrick: Did you take the drug, too? Bobby Taylor: Yeah. We both did. You drink it. It's a tea. Grissom: Who sold you this "tea"? Bobby Taylor: He didn't give a name. He just ... he told us that j-weed would be a cool high. Mind-expanding. I mean, that's the whole point of a rave is to experiment. Warrick: Did you get a stamp when you got in? Bobby Taylor: Yeah. But that was, like, four days ago. Warrick: Well, mostly they use water-resistant pads so you don't sweat it off. Could you hit the lights, Gris? (WARRICK reaches for his kit and takes out a light. GRISSOM turns out the top lights.) Warrick: (to BOBBY) Where did they stamp you? (BOBBY holds out his wrist, palm up and pushes his watch further up his arm. WARRICK turns on the black light. The stamp is still visible.) Warrick: Yeah, that's DJ Masterband's stamp. He is the spinner in Vegas right now. Must have been playing at the rave these two were at. (WARRICK turns off his hand light. GRISSOM turns on the top light.) Grissom: Is there any way for us to track this, uh, DJ person? Warrick: The free papers, yeah. They have ads for all sorts of raves. Grissom: Bobby? Would you be able to recognize the guy who sold you the Jimson? Bobby Taylor: (nods) Definitely. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DESERT HAVEN CEMETERY - DAY] (SARA walks with RANDY GESEK, the funeral director, across the lawn to Stephanie Reyes' grave.) Randy Gesek: No one in the mortuary business likes to discuss the issue, but it does exist: People rob graves. Sara: (laughs) Are you telling me that someone dug up Stephanie Reyes and stole her body? Randy Gesek: They do it for gold, trinkets or just kicks. You should hear what I hear at conventions. (She chuckles.) Sara: Did you report the robbery of Mrs. Reyes' remains to the police? Randy Gesek: As I say, we try not to discuss the issue outside of the community. Sara: Profits over people, is that it? Randy Gesek: I wouldn't put it like that. SHORT TIME CUT TO: [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DESERT HAVEN CEMETERY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (The backhoe works on digging the grave. SARA looks down at the hole in the ground.) Sara: Eight feet. How deep do you bury these caskets? Randy Gesek: Well ... Sara: There's nothing else in there. I thought you said grave robbers only stole bodies. Randy Gesek: This might have been an inlaid casket -- something of value that people would steal. (SARA thinks about this for a moment.) Sara: You sell caskets, right? As part of your mortuary service? I want to see some. Randy Gesek: (nods) I can arrange a viewing. Sara: (smiles) Bonus. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT CSI - BREAK ROOM - DAY] (GRISSOM is in the break room busy grounding something up in a large mortar. WARRICK walks into the room carrying a file. GRISSOM pours the grounds into a glass teapot as he listens to WARRICK'S report.) Warrick: Gris, I got the prelims back on that swab I took off of our desert guy. Products trapped in nasal hairs. Grissom: And? ... Warrick: Products found in mouth and nose: Mentholated nose spray, patchouli and aluminum. Grissom: Nose spray? He had a cold. Warrick: Patchouli -- they burn it at music stores. Grissom: Aluminum's the odd man out. (GRISSOM pours the hot water into the tea pot.) Warrick: Yeah. I got trace putting together a list of products made with the stuff. Something tells me that's not lemonade. Grissom: Jimson tea. I like to see what I'm dealing with. (beat) Doesn't look lethal, does it? Warrick: Doesn't look like tea, either. Grissom: You know what the japanese tea ceremony signifies? Warrick: What's that? Grissom: That every human encounter is a singular occasion which can never recur again in exactly the same way. Warrick: Does that apply to our case? (GRISSOM pours some of the tea into a glass cup/container. He looks at it.) Grissom: Everything applies, Warrick. That's the beauty part. (GRISSOM smells the tea like a connoisseur.) Warrick: Cheers. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. VERBUM DEI CHARTER SCHOOL - DAY] (CATHERINE, NICK and DET. KANE interview KATE ARMSTRONG.) Kate Armstrong: All right, it's true. Someone else was there. Det. Kane: The name would be nice. Kate Armstrong: She's a friend on the faculty but she had nothing to do with this. Catherine: The blood evidence is telling us otherwise. Nick: Look, homicide will give us her name if you won't. There are detectives, and your school's not that big. Kate Armstrong: Julia Eastman. But she was doing me a favor. She was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. (KATE walks away from them.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY] (CATHERINE and NICK interview JULIA EASTMAN.) Julia Eastman: We kind of made a plan so that the next time Woods hit on her she'd have a witness. You know, because of the harassment. Catherine: And when you were playing witness where were you standing? Julia Eastman: At the doorway. Catherine: You're sure? Julia Eastman: (nods) Yeah. (Quick flashback to: Inside Dean VERNON WOODS' office, KATE ARMSTRONG struggles to get out of VERNON WOODS' embrace.) Vernon Woods: I know you want it, you... (KATE grabs the rock off of the desk and hits VERNON WOODS across the forehead. He lets her go and steps backward.) (Blood spatters across the window.) (JULIA EASTMAN opens the office door and sees KATE ARMSTRONG with the rock in her hand. VERNON WOODS is still on his feet and takes a step toward KATE.) Julia Eastman: Kate, no! Vernon Woods: Why, you ... (She swings again and hits VERNON WOODS. He falls to the floor with a thud. KATE continues to hit VERNON WOODS. Blood spatters across the wall and onto JULIA EASTMAN standing against the wall. She gasps and glances down at the blood on her.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Nick: We're forensic scientists, Julia. Blood talks to us. People exaggerate or forget. Blood's like my grandfather. Never lies. (NICK opens the laptop on the table. CATHERINE stands up and moves around the table to stand next to NICK.) Catherine: Nick reenacted the crime using blood spatter. Nick: No, I just strung it. (to CATHERINE) Thank you, anyway. (beat) No, the computer gizmo does all the geometry. (NICK starts the program. The computer beeps.) Nick: You factor in the location of the body in relation to the blood on the wall in order to recreate the event. Each hit that drew blood gets its own unique color as he fell. See? Nick: (points to screen) Dean woods was not in a standing position when he was killed. He was on the floor. (beat) So how could your friend Kate, who's roughly half his size, wrestle him to the ground and keep him there while she bludgeoned him to death? Without help? Julia Eastman: I don't know. Nick: Hmm. Julia Eastman: Could we take a break? I need a break. (JULIA turns to look at CATHERINE.) Catherine: Sure. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. BEACH - NIGHT] (Loud Dance Music plays. Kids dance. The party is starting and the cars are gathering.) (Dissolve to: A large butterfly insignia/image on the top of the dance floor. The Rave is starting to pick up.) (At the entrance, the group pays for their tickets.) Bobby Taylor: (to TICKET MAN) Three. (to WARRICK & GRISSOM) It's gonna be $20 each. (GRISSOM reaches into his pocket and pays the ticket price.) Bobby Taylor: There. Ticket Man: Thanks, man. (They each get their stamp on their hands and slowly enter the party area. The STAMP MAN waves them inside.) Stamp Man: Come on. STAMP MAN: Go in. You're good. STAMP MAN: Let's go. (BOBBY leads the CSIs into the party. He looks around for the guy who sold them the drug. GRISSOM looks around.) Grissom: Teenage wasteland. Warrick: (turns around) Who? Grissom: Yeah. (A RAVE GIRL walks up to GRISSOM.) Rave Girl: Hi! Grissom: Hi. (She motions him closer. She puts her arms around him and tells him.) Rave Girl: (smiles) I love you. (She gives GRISSOM a hug.) (GRISSOM laughs nervously.) Grissom: Uh, thank you. You're a total stranger to me. (The RAVE GIRL doesn't care, she's in her own little world. WARRICK takes pity on GRISSOM and explains.) Warrick: It's ecstasy. It makes everyone fall in love. (WARRICK pulls the RAVE GIRL off of GRISSOM.) Warrick: Don't take it personally, miss. He's kind of married to his job. (She kisses her fingertips and waves GRISSOM bye. GRISSOM grins and waves back. The RAVE GIRL sees another woman at the party and turns her attentions to her.) Rave Girl: (smiles) I love you. (The two women embrace.) (GRISSOM watches them with a smile on his face. The two women walk off. GRISSOM stares at the women.) (WARRICK watches GRISSOM for a moment, then grabs him and leads him away.) Warrick: Come on. Let's go. (BRASS walks around the party. BOBBY TAYLOR continues to scan the party area for the drug dealer.) (Off to the side near the cars, he spots him.) Bobby Taylor: That's him, there! That's the dealer! (BOBBY tears off toward the drug dealer. WARRICK and GRISSOM rush after him.) Grissom: Bobby, wait! (BRASS hears them.) (BOBBY reaches the drug dealer and tackles him to the ground.) Bobby Taylor: You killed my friend! Grissom: Break it up! Bobby, stop it! (GRISSOM and WARRICK pull BOBBY off of the drug dealer.) (BRASS and another OFFICER reach them.) (GRISSOM holds BOBBY off to the side. BOBBY brushes GRISSOM'S hands off of the arm that he's holding.) Bobby: Ow! (BOBBY stares at the drug dealer.) SHORT TIME CUT TO: [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DESERT - RAVE - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] Ethan: What do you guys think you got on me? Grissom: Selling jimsonweed to kids. Ethan: Do you see any j-weed on me? Grissom: You sent, uh, Bobby over here and his friend on quite a trip the other night. Ethan: Which trip was that? The one to San Diego or the one to Mars? BRASS; To the impound, where your car is going. Probable cause. Ethan: You don't have to take my car to the impound, okay? You can search it. But I got news for you. Jimson's a schedule one controlled substance. Mandatory suspended sentence the first go-round for possession. And you can't even prove that much. Brass: Guy knows a lot about the Nevada State Penal Code. Grissom: Well, if you're gonna break the law, Jim you've gotta know the law. Ethan: Exactly. (He holds out the car keys to GRISSOM.) Just don't scratch my puppy. (GRISSOM takes the keys to search the car.) (Cut to: The party raves on. GRISSOM takes out his flashlight and looks around the front driver's side seat. He looks around the dash, in the cup holders. He checks out the seat cushions.) (He looks on the floor. There, he finds the seeds. He reaches into his kit to take a sample. GRISSOM looks pleased.) (Holding the sample in his hand, GRISSOM turns back to ETHAN.) Grissom: What do you say, Ethan? These seeds look familiar? Ethan: (laughs) You just fish these out of your undies? Look, man, if you want to take me in take me in. I'll be back before the party's over. Grissom: 'Cause you know the law, don't you, Ethan? "Mandatory suspended sentence for first possession." Yeah? Ethan: Exactly. Grissom: Let me tell you something, Humbert. You're twice the age of these kids and most of them couldn't find their ass with a map. You prey on innocent children concocting god-knows-what from god-knows-where selling Russian roulette in a bottle and you think we came all the way out here to bust you for "possession", you dumb punk? (beat) I'm gonna get you for murder. (ETHAN looks back at GRISSOM, surprised.) Grissom: Cool. FADE TO BACK. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - NIGHT] (GRISSOM and WARRICK are back in the autopsy room going over new findings with DR. WILLIAMS.) Grissom: This Ethan was selling jimsonweed tea at the desert rave. I believe Eric drank the most toxic part -- the dregs, the bottom of the batch the part that's full of seeds. Dr. Jenna Williams: Well, if that's true ... (Quick CGI to: Camera starts traveling down ERIC'S open mouth and down his throat, all the way to the intestinal tract where it stops on two small seeds.) Dr. Jenna Williams: (V.O.) ... then we might be able to catch up with some of those seeds because they have a way of hanging around the lower intestinal tract. (End of CGI. Resume on a pair of forceps picking out the seeds.) Dr. Jenna Williams: And the last ones to leave the party ... would be ... right about ... here. (She pulls out the small seed.) Dr. Jenna Williams: Jimson reduced his gastric motility which kept this in his system. Warrick: Now we just tie that to the dealer. GRISSOM Well, we see if it ties to the dealer. Warrick: That's not what you were saying out at that rave all up in that guy's face. Grissom: There's three things I got a real problem with: Guys that hit their wives, sexual assault on children and the scum that deal death to kids. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB - NIGHT] (In the lab, WARRICK, GRISSOM and GREG go over the seed analysis.) Warrick: The chemical compositions break down exactly the same. Greg Sanders: Yeah, but that doesn't necessarily prove that the seeds from the dead kid's gut came from the same place as the seeds in the dealer's car. Grissom: We need the pods to do a DNA match and we don't have them. GREG SANDERS; The truth is, it wouldn't matter. I ran the seeds Eric ingested. The toxic levels are low -- too low to have killed him. Warrick: Square one. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GARAGE - NIGHT] (SARA stands in the garage next to COLLINS and in front of a bunch of caskets.) Sara: There is no way I'm going to end up in a dumpster wrapped in plastic. I'm going to be cremated -- dust in the wind, you know. I don't want any part of these things. Collins: I've already got mine paid off. Sara: Are you serious? Collins: Yeah. It looks just like this one. (COLLINS walks over to a particular casket.) Sara: How much did it run you? Collins: Ten thou. SARA; $10,000? For a box ... buried in the ground that everyone's only going to see you in once. Collins: I like it. It feels like a caddie. Sara: So when you buy one of these for $10,000, it's yours, right? Collins: Well, of course it is. Sara: No one else gets to use it. Collins: It's built for one. (SARA opens the casket and looks inside. She examines the inside and sees something. She turns around to grab a roller off of the counter. She rolls it on the inside casket lining and comes up with various hair samples.) (Camera zooms in for an extreme close up of the hairs stuck on the roller.) Sara: Then how did all these people get in here? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY - NIGHT] (GRISSOM takes a drink of water. WARRICK sees GRISSOM and approaches him.) Warrick: Thought I'd find you here. Grissom: It's why I live. Warrick: Evidence ... a double-edged sword. Grissom: Yeah. Nobody wanted to put that pusher in jail more than I did. Evidence sets him free. Warrick: How do you feel about this? Grissom: It doesn't matter how I feel. The evidence only knows one thing: The truth. It is what it is. Warrick: You don't really believe that, do you? Grissom: I was flying to a seminar in New Hampshire a couple summers ago. I was sitting on the plane next to this philosophy professor from Harvard. He told me this story about how, every morning he takes a leak right after his three-hour philosophy class. He'd flush the toilet there'd be this tiny, brown spider fighting for its life against the swirling water. Come back the next day, flush same spider clawing its way back from oblivion. A week goes by, he decides to liberate the spider. Grabs a paper towel, scoops him up sets him on the floor in the corner of the stall. Comes back the next day ... what do you think happened to the spider? Warrick: Dead. Grissom: On his back, eight legs in the air. Why? Because one life imposed itself on another. Right then, I realized where we stand. I understood our role. We don't impose our will on a spider. We don't impose our hopes on the evidence. (WARRICK nods.) (The door opens and ETHAN walks out into the hallway. The lawyer leaves. ETHAN takes his time and gloats his release.) Ethan: (gloating) Twenty, ten, five, boom! Touchdown, baby. What's my name? (ETHAN laughs.) Grissom: You'll be back. Ethan: Oh, really? What, have you got a crystal ball in your pocket or something? Grissom: You're a creature of habit. Warrick: I'll catch you later. (ETHAN laughs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - FRONT ENTRANCE - NIGHT] (The door opens. CATHERINE and NICK exit the building.) Catherine: Okay, so this is what we've got so far on our dead dean. Blood spatter and blood cast-off on the walls. Kate Armstrong's confession, her clothes. Three void areas, and that's pretty much it. Anything else? Nick: That's not enough. It's not enough. What's the one thing we're missing? (CATHERINE stops.) Catherine: That's it. Nick: What's it? Catherine: The one thing we're missing. Nick: (realizing) The blood. Catherine: On Julia's clothes. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - NIGHT] (NICK closes the door to the room. CATHERINE and NICK both re-interview JULIA EASTMAN.) Catherine: We need the clothes that you were wearing the day that The Dean was killed. Julia Eastman: I burned them. Catherine: Why? Julia Eastman: The blood wouldn't come out. They were ruined. Catherine: Blood's funny that way. In fact, I bet there's lots of blood on Dean Woods' shirt. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT CSI EVIDENCE VAULT -- NIGHT] (CATHERINE and NICK examine Dean VERNON WOODS' shirt. CATHERINE notices the void.) Catherine: Look at that void. What a beaut. Nick: Oh, yeah. You don't even have to know every star and you can draw a constellation. (Taking a pen, NICK outlines the void.) Nick: And fill in the rest. Whoa, look at that last finger there. Catherine: Talk about your unique attributes. What do you think -- a bandage? Nick: We'll have to ask our ladies, but I can tell you this -- somebody's playing through the pain. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE - NIGHT] (BOBBY TAYLOR is in GRISSOM'S office again.) Grissom: I, uh ... just wanted you to know that Eric didn't die from Jimson tea. It didn't have the chemical toxicity to kill him. The seeds weren't strong enough. (BOBBY quietly listens to GRISSOM. He doesn't say anything. He starts rubbing his arm. GRISSOM notices the movement.) Grissom: Is your arm all right? Bobby Taylor: Yeah, uh, spider bite. I think it's infected. Grissom: May I take a look? Bobby Taylor: Sure. You're a doctor. (BOBBY undoes the cuff of his shirt.) Bobby Taylor: You might be able to give me something for it. (He pushes his shirt sleeve up above his arm.) Grissom: I'm a PhD, not an M.D. (BOBBY chuckles. GRISSOM looks at the bite on BOBBY'S arm.) Grissom: (grimly) Bobby ... this bite is not from an insect. (BOBBY looks quizzically down at his arm, then back at GRISSOM.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY] (DR. JENNA WILLIAMS puts her instruments into the cleaning machine and closes the machine door. GRISSOM walks into the room.) Dr. Jenna Williams: Hey. Grissom: Hi. (DR. WILLIAMS sits down at her desk. GRISSOM leans against it.) Grissom: I found a bite mark on Bobby's arm and I think it might be human. Dr. Jenna Williams: Do you feel like sharing? Grissom: (shakes his head) Not really. Dr. Jenna Williams: Just a little? Grissom: (sighs) I don't know, Jenna. This whole case is going from bad to worse. I mean, usually it's a body, it's a specimen, but when it involves kids, I just can't ... Dr. Jenna Williams: Gruesome Grissom ... Tin Man with a heart ... (beat) ... who knew? (WARRICK walks into the room.) Warrick: Hey, guys. This came back for the test on aluminum products from our kid in the desert. (pauses) Fireworks. Grissom: (whispers) That's where Bobby Taylor works. Jenna, I need a mold of Eric's teeth ... [SCENE_BREAK] Grissom : (V.O.) ... and an impression of Bobby's arm. (With an OFFICER and a lawyer in the room, someone takes an impression on the bite mark on BOBBY'S arm.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY] (CATHERINE and NICK re-interview both JULIA EASTMAN and KATE ARMSTRONG.) Catherine: Julia, make a fist for me with your right hand. I mean, count it down like so, starting with your thumb first. Five, four, three, two, one. (JULIA stares at them for a moment, then complies. She tries, but she can't bend her pinky finger.) Julia Eastman: I sprained it, at tennis. (NICK reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out a finger splint. He tosses it on to the table.) Nick: It heals a lot faster when you wear one of these. (Both JULIA and KATE stares at the item on the table. CATHERINE takes out the shirt and puts it on the table.) Catherine: Dean woods' shirt. (She spreads the shirt out on the table.) Catherine: Now, remember we said blood tells us everything? Well ... so does the absence of blood. (CATHERINE takes the finger splint and puts it on. She puts her hand over the void area on the shirt. It fits in the white area on the shirt.) Kate Armstrong: (gasps) Oh, my god. (Quick flashback to: Inside Dean VERNON WOODS' office, KATE ARMSTRONG swings the rock and hits VERNON WOODS on the forehead. He goes down. She swings the rock back and splatters blood on JULIA EASTMAN. She hits him again and again. Blood spatters everywhere with each successive blow.) (When VERNON WOODS falls to the floor, JULIA EASTMAN puts her hand on his chest to keep him down. KATE ARMSTRONG continues to hit him with the rock.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Nick: You held him down ... while she killed him. Catherine: All because the guy was handsy? Seems a little severe. (Neither woman says anything.) Det. Kane: We're going to be placing you under arrest for murder. Is there anything you want to say? (He turns around and opens the door. They remain silent.) (Two male OFFICERS enter the room. The two women stand up and we see that they were holding each other's hands under the table in a tight grip, neither one wanting to let the other go.) (They look at each other.) (The officers take out the handcuffs and put them on.) Officer: Ma'am ... put your hands behind your back, please. (They lead the women out of the room. CATHERINE watches them leave and shakes her head.) Catherine: (quietly) No, no, this isn't over. (They start putting their things away.) Nick: For all forensic purposes, it is over. They're going to eat bread and bang a metal cup against some bars. That's it. It's over for us. Catherine: We still don't know why. Nick: It's not our job to know why. It's our job to know how. You heard Grissom. The more the 'why', the less the 'how', the less the 'how', the more the 'why'. (CATHERINE stands up and turns around to look at NICK.) Catherine: Hey, Nick. Nick: Yeah? Catherine: Grissom's not always right. Do yourself a favor and think for yourself. I mean that as a friend, okay? Okay, detective, we got some more homework to do. (CATHERINE picks up the package and puts it on the table.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GARAGE] (SARA opens the door and leads RANDY GESEK into the garage.) Sara: What are you selling-- time-share coffins? Randy Gesek: Uh, there's no such thing as a time-share coffin. Sara: Sure, there is. Once the funeral is over, you dump the body and use the same casket over and over. Randy Gesek: You can't prove that. Sara: Yes, I can. This is a set of prints on the inside of the plastic sheeting we found in the dumpster. What are the odds they belong to you? (RANDY GESEK steps forward, shaking his head. He's busted.) Sara: All you had to do was put the bodies back in the grave and no one would have been the wiser. Randy Gesek: You have no idea what a cut-throat business this is. The chains are moving in. I have payments to make. I see the world from a completely different perspective than most people. Sara: Yeah, I know. You see dead people. So do I. And when they turn up in dumpsters, I like to see they get back to where they belong. Randy Gesek: I'll repay the money. Sara: Minimum. Then, you're going to pay for Stephanie Reyes' family to have a real burial. Randy Gesek: Okay. SARA At a respectable mortuary. Randy Gesek: Okay. Sara: Then, we're going to let the D.A. run the table. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY - DAY] (DET. KANE fills CATHERINE in on his findings.) Det. Kane: Did some homework on Kate Catherine: Mm-hmm. Det. Kane: Financial records for the last year. Catherine: Great. Det. Kane: Personal checks from Kate Armstrong to Vernon Woods over the last year. Catherine: $5,000. Another for $5,000. $3,000. "Memo: Loans." I don't think so. I think she was paying him off for something. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (Inside the Interview room, DET. KANE presents his findings to KATE ARMSTRONG.) Kate Armstrong: Did Julia say anything? Det. Kate: Like what? The real reason you killed Woods? [OBSERVATION ROOM] (Inside the observation room, CATHERINE and NICK watch DET. KANE with KATE ARMSTRONG.) Catherine: This is where Gris and I differ. Forensics is about more than science. Human behavior. The inconsistencies of human behavior. Yes, "how" is crucially important, but so is "why." [INTERVIEW ROOM] (KATE turns to her lawyer and whispers something to her. The LAWYER nods her head. KATE looks at DET. KANE.) Kate Armstrong: Okay. (Quick flashback to: Inside Dean VERNON WOODS' office, KATE and JULIA confront him.) Kate Armstrong: I'm finished paying you. We're going to live openly, honestly. Julie Eastman: It's a new century. Parents are "evolved". Vernon Woods: Not where their children are concerned. I'll tell everybody that I caught you two having s*x on school grounds. Kate Armstrong: That's a lie! JULIA EASTMAN: What?! Vernon Woods: Of course it's a lie. That didn't stop the McMartin school from closing down. (The two women look at VERNON WOODS like he's scum.) (He sighs.) Yeah, I think I'll make a call. (He turns to get the phone on the counter. JULIA turns to look at KATE. KATE reaches for the rock on the desk. She grabs it, rushes forward and hits him on the back of the head with it.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Kate Armstrong: Julia and I would never have survived a rumor like that. We panicked. The school is our whole life. (KATE starts to cry.) [OBSERVATION ROOM] Nick: Hmm. You got your "why." Crime of passion. Catherine: (nods) Bigger "why": Why did it have to come down to this? (Inside the interview room, the officer moves to get KATE ARMSTRONG.) Nick: I guess they didn't feel like they had a choice. Catherine: Maybe they didn't. (Inside the room, everyone leaves.) Catherine: A lose-lose situation. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM - DAY] (BRASS, WARRICK and GRISSOM talk with BOBBY TAYLOR and his LAWYER, CASSANNO.) Bobby Taylor: I'm telling you, I didn't kill Eric. Brass: Can you remember your last hours with him Saturday night? Cassanno (lawyer): Don't answer that. Bobby: I want to answer it. I just ... I can't remember anything after we took that stuff. Grissom: It's not about memory now, Bobby. It's about the evidence and the evidence ... sucks. (Quick flashback to: The night of the rave party.) Grissom: (V.O.) You and Eric bought Jimson tea from Ethan that night. Ethan: Enjoy, fellas! (ETHAN gives them the jimsonweed tea. He laughs.) (Flash to white: ERIC and BOBBY drink the tea.) Bobby Taylor: Cheers, man. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Warrick: But you guys have never taken j-weed before so you weren't aware of the side effects of photophobia. Bobby Taylor: Ph-photo what? Warrick: Photophobia. It's just a big word for lights freaking you out. You guys were hallucinating and whatever Eric was seeing was scaring him, big-time. (Quick flashback to: Night of the rave party. The two boys, high, are running deeper into the desert. The bright lights from the cars and the vibrant colors are powerful.) (ERIC runs over the hill and falls. BOBBY runs after him. They're both running from the bright lights of the cars.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Warrick: The coroner states that Eric's dose shot his temperature through the roof. He was boiling in his own skin. So he stripped which is why we found him naked. (Quick flashback to: ERIC is running down the hillside and rips off his shirt.. The cars with their bright lights and vibrant colors continue to follow them along the desert. ERIC runs.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Brass: We just don't know if it was an act of aggression or self-defense. Bobby Taylor: I loved that guy. Grissom: That's why I tend to believe it was an act of self-protection. The lights were scaring him. At the same time, we conjecture that you were suffering auditory hallucinations. Both of these symptoms are routine with this drug. (Quick flashback to: ERIC is running. BOBBY is behind him, yelling at him.) Bobby Taylor: Shut up! Shut up! (Whatever BOBBY'S hearing, it's incredibly loud and annoying. He covers both ears with his hands.) Bobby Taylor: Shut up! Shut up! BOBBY TAYLOR: Shut up! Shut up! (BOBBY catches up with ERIC and grabs him from behind.) Bobby Taylor: Shut up! Shut... shut up! (He covers ERIC'S mouth ... trying to get him to shut up. ERIC struggles, but BOBBY has him firmly in his grasp.) Bobby Taylor: Shut up ... (ERIC grabs at BOBBY'S hands trying to get free.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Bobby Taylor: (stunned) I just ... I-I can't remember, honest. Cassanno (lawyer): You can "believe" and "conjecture" all you want. None of this is based on fact. Grissom: I'm afraid that it is. The evidence tells us that Bobby suffocated Eric. Warrick: We found traces of aluminum trapped in Eric's nostrils that are consistent with what we found in your client's hands and arms earlier today from his job at the fireworks plant. Bobby Taylor: I don't think I would do that. Grissom: I know, Bobby, but you did. (GRISSOM reaches to the side and pulls out a small plastic container. He opens it and takes out the mold.) Grissom: This is a mold of the bite mark that we took from your arm today. (He puts the mold down on the table and reaches into the plastic container.) Grissom: This is a mold of Eric's mouth, postmortem. (GRISSOM puts the teeth over the bite mark. It's a perfect match.) (BOBBY stares at the evidence in front of him and silent tears course down his cheeks.) (Quick flashback to: ERIC struggles in BOBBY'S grasp. BOBBY doesn't let ERIC go.) Bobby Taylor: Shut up! Shut up! BOBBY TAYLOR: Shut up! Shut up! (ERIC can't breath and slowly falls to the ground as he continues to struggle.) Bobby Taylor: Shut up. Shut up. (ERIC bites BOBBY'S arm. BOBBY grunts in pain. He grabs ERIC'S nose and mouth, covering them with his hand.) Bobby Taylor: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (BOBBY stares out in front of him, crying.) Grissom: You overpowered him, he suffocated ... and then, finally, the noise stopped. (The LAWYER shakes her head.) Cassanno (lawyer): I can tell you right now we're going to plead diminished capacity. Grissom: Good. I hope you win. Bobby Taylor: (shakes his head) It doesn't matter. Cassanno (lawyer): It's the difference between prison and a hospital, Bobby. It matters. Bobby Taylor: You don't understand. I don't care what happens to me. I killed my best friend. (He looks up at GRISSOM. Their eyes meet. GRISSOM'S eyes full of compassion for the young man.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. CSI - FRONT ENTRANCE - PARKING LOT] (Camera opens on the front sign: LAS VEGAS POLICE DEPARTMENT / AREA COMMAND. GRISSOM and WARRICK sit side-by-side outside.) (They watch as the OFFICERS exit the building and lead BOBBY TAYLOR outside in handcuffs. They put him in their vehicle and drive off.) (Unable to watch anymore, GRISSOM stands and leaves.) Warrick: Where you going? Grissom: Away. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. STRATOSPHERE - DUSK] (GRISSOM secures himself in the roller coaster and gives his money to the attendant.) (Cut to: The roller coaster starts.) (Various cuts of GRISSOM on the roller coaster ride.) (Cut to: The roller coaster stops.)

Plan: A: Warrick; Q: Along with Grissom, who investigates the death of a young man? A: the desert; Q: Where was the young man found naked? A: Sara; Q: Who investigates the body of a woman who was buried last week? A: a woman; Q: What was the body of in the dumpster? A: a school's dean; Q: Who was killed by the school's founder? Summary: Grissom and Warrick take the case of a young man who is found naked in the desert without an obvious cause of death. Sara gets to find out why the body of a woman who was buried last week is in a dumpster. Catherine and Nick investigate the killing of a school's dean by the school's founder.

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] We were worried about you. Don't be melodramatic. I'm just getting on a train and leaving forever. So a few things don't go your way and your best decision is to ride the rails like a hobo? Leonard, I am overwhelmed. Everything is changing, and it's simply too much. I need to get away and think. Sheldon... Yes? I'm gonna miss you. Of course you are. You just made that easier. [SCENE_BREAK] A railway station (Sheldon is wearing no trousers.) Sheldon: Excuse me. Is it at all possible that you're knitting a pair of pants? Oh, well, no, you're understandably terrified. But, you know, allow me to explain. 45 days ago, um, I embarked on a railroad journey of healing because my university was making me do string theory, and my favorite comic book store burned down, and when my room mate got engaged, my girlfriend wanted to move in with me, which was no doubt a ploy just to see my, well, excuse my language, but my bathing suit parts. Uh, sir, may I use your phone? Man: I don't think so. Sheldon: Yeah, well, I understand that I'm half naked, but there is a reasonable explanation. While I slept in my sleeper car, all my possessions were stolen. Now, typically, I wear pyjamas, but I recently adopted a hobo lifestyle and pyjamas are the sleep-pants of the Man. I'll have you know, Mahatma Gandhi wore no pants and a nation rallied behind him. My good man, now, before you walk away, I know that I may appear deranged, but I am, in fact, a world-renowned physicist. Ask me the difference between a boson and a fermion. Go ahead, ask. Bosons have integer spin, fermions have half-integer spin. My legs are getting cold. Why won't anybody help me? [SCENE_BREAK] Credits [SCENE_BREAK] The apartment Leonard: Morning. Penny: Hi. Want to do yoga with me? Leonard: Um, let me just have some coffee first, and then I'll have the strength to tell you how much I won't be doing that. (Phone rings) Hello? Sheldon: Hello, Leonard. Leonard: Hey, buddy. Good to hear your voice. Sheldon: Uh, I'm in Kingman, Arizona, and, uh, I need you to come pick me up. Leonard: I'd love to. I'm just about to do yoga with Penny. Sheldon: Leonard, I'm at the police station. I was robbed. They took my phone, my wallet, my iPad, everything. Leonard: Oh, my God, are you okay? Sheldon: No, I'm not okay. Uh, I'm wearing borrowed pants, I don't have I.D., and one of the officers here won't stop calling me chicken legs. Leonard: Okay. Uh, I'll, I'll come get you. What's the address? Penny: Hey, what's going on? Leonard: He got all of his stuff stolen. Penny: Oh. Sheldon: 2530 East Andy Devine Avenue, Leonard: Okay. Sheldon: Hurry. Leonard: Sheldon, hang tight. Hey, do you want me to bring anything? Sheldon: Oh, yes, please. A pair of pants. And my toothbrush. Yeah, and my mail. And a really good comeback for chicken legs, because "I know you are, but what am I?" was met with stony silence. Leonard: I'll be there as soon as I can. Penny: Is he okay? Leonard: Yeah, he's fine, he's just a little rattled. Penny: Oh. Leonard: Feel like driving to Arizona with me? Penny: I can't, I have that job interview. Leonard: Oh, right. Penny: Besides, I don't need six hours of your hair is different, why did you change your hair? I'm holding my breath until your hair grows back. Leonard: All right, fine. Hey, can you think of a reason I shouldn't invite Amy to come with me? Penny: Nope. Leonard: Come on, you didn't even try. [SCENE_BREAK] Howard's car Raj: Thanks for the lift. Howard: What's wrong with your car? Raj: I'm having my windows untinted. Howard: Why? Raj: Got a hot girlfriend now. I want the haters to know. Howard: What are you talking about? No one's paying attention to you. Raj: Wow. How's that Hater-Ade taste, bro? Hey, this isn't the way to work. Howard: I just want to pop in and make sure Ma's okay. Raj: I thought Stuart was looking after her. Howard: He was, but now that her cast is off, he moved out. And honestly, I'm kind of glad. It was getting a little weird. Raj: How so? Howard: I don't know, they're, chummy. Raj: Like us? Howard: No, not like us. Creepy chummy, like you and your dog. Raj: She feeds him out of her own mouth? Howard: I mean, he calls her Debbie, she calls him Stewie and they're all giggly around each other. And believe me, when food goes in that mouth, it does not come out. Raj: So are you worried because he's replacing you as a son or are you worried because he's becoming her lover? Howard: First of all, no one can replace me as a son. I'm her little matzo ball. And secondly, my mother is well past having any kind of s*x life. Raj: Okay, okay. Although many older women lead vibrant, active... Howard: I said well past it. [SCENE_BREAK] Kingman Police Station Sheldon: Excuse me, Officer Hernandez? Any leads on the person who stole my belongings? Hernandez: Not yet. Sheldon: Well, perhaps I can help. Sherlock Holmes always says when you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. Now, have, have you tried doing that? Hernandez: Nope. Sheldon: Well, maybe you should. There's lots of books called Sherlock Holmes, and there's no books called Officer Hernandez. [SCENE_BREAK] Leonard's car Leonard: Thanks again for coming. Six hours was gonna be a long drive by myself. Amy: My pleasure. And I'm not angry at all that my boyfriend was in trouble and called you instead of me. I love that, Leonard: Yeah, time's gonna fly by. [SCENE_BREAK] Howard and Bernadette's apartment Penny: I haven't been on a job interview in years. I'm really nervous. Bernadette: Don't be. You are built for pharmaceutical sales. You're cute, you're flirty and started that like there were gonna be three things. Penny: I don't have any experience in sales. Unless you count the bikini car wash I did in high school. But you already made me take that off my résumé. Bernadette: This job is a lot like being a waitress, except instead of pushing the fish tacos 'cause they're about to go bad, you're just pushing our antidepressants before the FDA finds out they may cause rectal bleeding. Penny: They do? Bernadette: Maybe. But like our lawyers say, the world is full of things that can cause a rectum to bleed. Anyway, I talked you up to Dan. He's the guy who'll be interviewing you. Penny: Oh, I really appreciate this. I just hope I'm not in over my head. Bernadette: You'll be fine. Just be yourself. Penny: I wish I felt more confident. Bernadette: Penny, I wouldn't have put you up for this job if I didn't think you could handle it. Penny: Oh, thank you, but maybe I should cancel. Bernadette: It's too late to cancel. You're going. Penny: But I don't know anything about pharmaceuticals. Bernadette: Oh, I understand. You want to do something you're already good at. I know. Why don't I get you a job at the Sitting Around All Day Wearing Yoga Pants Factory? Penny: They're comfortable. [SCENE_BREAK] Mrs Wolowitz's house Howard: Ma, I hope you're decent. Raj is here. You just started seeing naked women again, and I don't want you to be confused about where the boobs should be. Stuart: Oh, hey, guys. What are you doing here? Howard: Uh, what are you doing here? I thought you moved out. Stuart: Oh, yeah, I was going to, and then Debbie and I got to talking over dinner the other night. I didn't have any place to go, she likes having me around, so we both said, why leave? at the same time. It was precious. Howard: It's not that precious. Raj: I'd like to back you up, but it sounds like it was pretty precious. Mrs Wolowitz (O.C.): Stewie, I can't find my glasses. Stuart: Be right there, Deb Deb. They're probably on her head. Howard: Or in her neck. Listen. You staying here seems like something she would've talked to me about. Stuart: Well, maybe if you called your mother more often, you'd know. Raj: It wouldn't kill you to pick up the phone. [SCENE_BREAK] Kingman Police Station Sheldon: Any word on my stolen items? Hernandez: We're doing everything we can. Sheldon: You know, Sherlock Holmes liked to use cocaine to sharpen his focus. But I'm sure those Cool Ranch Doritos are doing the trick. Leonard: Sheldon. Sheldon: Leonard. Oh, I'm so happy to see you. Amy: Are you okay? Sheldon: Oh, I'm fine. Why did you come? Amy: What do you mean, why did I come? You're my boyfriend. I haven't seen you in over a month. I just drove six hours to help you out. Don't you have anything to say besides why did you come? Sheldon: I do, but, I feel uncomfortable saying it out loud in front of these police officers. Amy: Fine. Whisper it. Sheldon(whispers): Shotgun. [SCENE_BREAK] Leonard's car Leonard: So, Sheldon, tell us about your trip. Where'd you go? Sheldon: Where didn't I go? I went to New York, Chicago, Atlanta, Denver, Seattle. Leonard: How were they? Sheldon: Oh, I have no idea. I never left the train station. Leonard: Hang on. You travelled across the entire country and never left a train station? Sheldon: Why would I? That's where all the cool trains are. Leonard: I'm sorry, so you never went outside? Sheldon: Or had a single piece of fruit. [SCENE_BREAK] Pharmaceutical Company Office Dan: So, why do you think you'd make a good pharmaceutical sales rep? Penny: Well, I'm a people person. People like me. Some of my favourite people are people. I feel like I'm saying people a lot. People, people, people. Okay, I'm done. Dan: You sure? Penny: People. Yes. Dan: Good. So, how do you feel your previous job experience has prepared you for a career like this? Penny: Uh, well, as a waitress, sales was a big part of my job. I mean, believe me, I convinced a lot of very large customers, who should not be eating cheesecake, to have more cheesecake. I mean, one of those chubsters even had an insulin pump. Dan: Uh-huh. I have an insulin pump. Penny: People. [SCENE_BREAK] Howard's car Howard: It's weird, right? A grown man in his thirties living with my mother. Raj: That is weird. I thought he was, like, 45. Howard: Come on, you don't think it's a little odd? Raj: I don't know. I mean, she's lonely. He needs a place to stay. I doubt there's any funny business going on. And even if there was, who cares? They're both adults. Howard: Who cares? You wouldn't care if I slept with your mom? Raj: You know what? You're my best friend, and she's in a bad marriage. I give you my blessing. Howard: This is stupid. I'm just gonna call my mother and be honest with her. Raj: 'Cause that's what little matzo balls do. Stuart (voice on answerphone): This is Debbie. Mrs Wolowitz (voice on answerphone): And this is Stuart. Together: Just kidding. Stuart (voice on answerphone): Leave a message. Raj: This is the part where you talk. [SCENE_BREAK] Pharmaceutical Company Office Dan: All right, let's say a physician was prescribing one of our competitor's drugs. How would you convince them to switch to ours? Penny: Um, any chance his car needs to be washed by a girl in a bikini? No. Okay, I'm really sorry for wasting your time. Dan: Don't worry about it. Thanks for stopping by. Penny: Okay, thanks. Um, I'm sorry, listen, could you do me a favour and not tell Bernadette how badly I blew this interview? She'll get upset. And honestly I'm a, a little terrified of her. Dan: Wait, wait. You're scared of Bernadette? Penny: Yeah, kind of. Dan: I thought it was just me. Everyone thinks she's so nice with that squeaky little voice. Penny: I know, but she's kind of a bully. Dan: Wll, she is. I didn't even want to meet you, but, uh, I was too scared to say no to her. Penny: Me, too. Dan: Yeah, yeah. One, one time, I had, I had to tell her we were cutting the, the research funding for one of the drugs she was developing. Penny: What happened? Dan: I couldn't do it. She's still working on it. Oh, we're not gonna tell her about this, right? Penny: Oh, my God, no. [SCENE_BREAK] Leonard's car Sheldon: At the hot dog stand in the Denver train station, Heinz ketchup. At the hot dog stand in the Salt Lake City train station, Heinz ketchup. At the hot dog stand in the Indianapolis train station? Leonard: I don't care. Sheldon: Wrong. Hunt's. Hey, Amy, what do you say? You ready to move on to the mustard round? Amy: Have you not noticed that I've been sitting back here quietly stewing for the past two hours? Sheldon: I just thought you were bad at the game. Amy: I'm mad at you. How could you just go away like that without even saying good-bye, and then call Leonard for help instead of me? Sheldon: Amy, may I please have a moment of privacy to speak with my roommate? Amy: We're in a moving car. What do you expect me to do? Stick my fingers in my ears? Sheldon: Well, I was thinking put your head out the window like a dog, but that'll work. Please? This'll be quick. Leonard? As soon as we get home, I want to have coitus with Amy. Okay, she can't hear. The reason I called you is because I didn't want Amy to know I couldn't make it on my own. Leonard: What's the big deal? Sheldon: Oh, of course it's no big deal to you. You idolize me, and nothing could ever knock me off that pedestal you put me on. Leonard: Well, yeah, it's true. You, you are a god to me. Amy: Can I stop now? Leonard: Just tell her. Sheldon: I called Leonard because I failed. And I didn't want you to think less of me. Amy: You were worried about that? Sheldon: Yes. Amy: Sheldon, it's okay with me that you're not perfect. Sheldon: Can I have one more moment with Leonard? Amy: Sure. Sheldon: Amy just hurt my feelings. I want to break up with her. [SCENE_BREAK] Howard and Bernadette's apartment Howard: Now, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm kind of excited to see Sheldon. Bernadette: I never thought I'd say this, but Penny got a job today. Howard: She did? Bernadette: Well, the only reason she got it is 'cause the guy who interviewed her loves me. Howard (answering a knock on the door): What do you want? Stuart: I, uh, kind of got the feeling you might not be okay with me staying at your mom's. Howard: You're right, I'm not. I think it's weird. Bernadette: Howie? Howard: It is. He's a grown man. He's just gonna live there rent-free? How is that gonna motivate him to get off his butt and get a job? I mean, do you even have a plan? Stuart: Hey, you're not my father, okay? And besides, your mother and I were talking... Howard: Your mother and I? You're not my father. Stuart: I didn't say I was your father. Howard: Well, I didn't say I was your father. Bernadette: Okay, calm down. You're not his father, he's not your father. Nobody's anybody's father. Stuart: I, I'm sorry you don't like my life choices, but it's my life. Howard: Well, it's my house, it's my rules. Stuart: Oh, oh, okay, Dad, if I mow the lawn, can I have my allowance? Bernadette: Hey, don't you take that sarcastic tone with him. Stuart: I don't have to listen to you. Howard: Don't talk to her like that. That is my mother. Wife. My wife. I said my wife. Stuart: You know what? This isn't getting us anywhere. When you're ready to apologize, you know where to find me. Howard: Yeah, in my house. Stuart: That's right, sucka. [SCENE_BREAK] The stairwell Sheldon: I wish I'd never gone on that trip. I feel no better now than when I left. Amy: But you still accomplished something. Leonard: Yeah. If you had told anyone that you were going away on a train by yourself across the country, do you know what they would have said? Sheldon: That I couldn't do it? Leonard: Exactly. Right after they said yeah. Amy: But you did do it. So what if it didn't all go your way? That's what makes it an adventure. Sheldon: That's a good point. You know, I'm a lot like Gandalf the Grey. He fought the Balrog and emerged stronger than ever as Gandalf the White. I was robbed of my phone and pants, and I, too, came back stronger. And whiter, too, 'cause I wasn't in direct sunlight for six weeks. Amy: See? This trip was good for you. Sheldon: Indeed. I was the world's smartest caterpillar. And then after pupating in our nation's railway system, I've burst forth as the world's smartest butterfly. Leonard: Butterfly could've gotten himself home from Arizona. Sheldon: Yeah, I feel renewed. I'm ready to deal with any changes that come my way. All: Hey. Penny: Hey, look who's back. Sheldon: Your hair is different. You changed your hair. I can't take this. I'm out. [SCENE_BREAK] The apartment Sheldon: Would you like to see pictures from my trip? Penny: I thought your phone got stolen. Sheldon: Yeah, it did, but luckily all my photos got backed up to the Cloud. Leonard: And you thought they all had a silver lining. Sheldon: Here, day one, uh, this was the seat I was going to sit in but didn't because there were cracker crumbs on it. As it was first class, I suspect Ritz. This is the train bathroom. This is the Imodium I took so I would never have to use the train bathroom. Penny: I cannot believe you travelled the entire country and never left the train station. Sheldon: I know. You know, I almost died in a fire in Des Moines, but I stayed put. FYI, that's when the Imodium gave out.

Plan: A: Forty-five days; Q: How long after leaving Pasadena did Sheldon find himself in a train station A: Sheldon; Q: Who thinks his trip was worthwhile because it has left him ready to deal with change? A: Kingman; Q: Where is Sheldon in Arizona? A: Leonard; Q: Who does Sheldon call to pick him up? A: Amy; Q: Who is upset that Sheldon left without telling her? A: the train stations; Q: Where did Sheldon say he never left during his journey? A: help; Q: What did Sheldon call Leonard for? A: the apartment; Q: Where does Sheldon walk out of when he sees Penny's new haircut A: Bernadette; Q: Who gets Penny a job interview with her pharmaceutical company? A: a salesperson; Q: What job does Bernadette get Penny a job interview for? A: the interview; Q: What did Penny do horribly in? A: the interviewer; Q: Who did Penny bond with during her job interview? A: Stuart; Q: Who is still living with Howard's mother? Summary: Forty-five days after leaving Pasadena, Sheldon finds himself in a train station in Kingman, Arizona with all of his possessions (and his pants) stolen. He calls Leonard to pick him up, and Leonard takes Amy with him. Heading home, Sheldon says that he never left any of the train stations during his journey. Amy is hurt he left without telling her, and that he called Leonard for help. Sheldon is not happy that she is there, and says he did not call her because he was too embarrassed to admit that he could not make it on his own; Amy accepts that he is not perfect. Sheldon thinks his trip was worthwhile because it has left him ready to deal with change, but as soon as he sees Penny's new haircut he immediately walks out of the apartment. Bernadette gets Penny a job interview with her pharmaceutical company as a salesperson, though Penny is very nervous about it, having no experience in sales. She does horribly in the interview, but gets the job anyway, after bonding with the interviewer over their shared fear of Bernadette. Howard and Raj find Stuart still living with Howard's mother even though she has recovered, which is very unsettling to Howard.

YEAR 2030 LIVING ROOM (Daughter and Son sitting on couch) Future Ted: Kids, before I met your mother, when I was still out there searching, I learned something valuable, that love is not a science. Daughter: Wow, that was a great story, Dad. Son: We're gonna go watch TV. (Daughter and Son get up and leave) Future Ted: You see, sometimes in life, you just have to accept that certain things can't be explained. And that's kinda scary. (Daughter and Son return to sit on couch) BAR (year 2005; Ted, Barney and Robin sitting around table; Lily and Marshall run in) Marshall: Oh my God. Lily: I know, I'm still shaking. (Lily grabs Barney's drink and drinks from it) Barney: What the? Haha, joke's on you, I have a cold. Robin: Are you guys OK? Marshall (yelling over to bartender): Another round and back it up for me and Lily. Ted: What happened? Marshall: We saw something, up in the apartment. Lily: Something bad. (flashback to Lily and Marshall entering apartment while kissing) Marshall: I don't know what it is, but margaritas make me sexy. Lily: Oh, mucho sexy. You quiero Marshall. (Marshall and Lily hug and kiss, Lily looks over and sees something and looks scared) Lily: Oh my God. (Lily and Marshall scream and run out of the apartment) (cut back to present scene in bar) Ted: What was it? Marshall: Only the craziest, meanest looking mouse you've ever seen. Lily: Mouse? Sweetie, that wasn't a mouse. That was a huge cockroach. Marshall: Baby, it was a mouse. It had a whiskers. Lily: But those things coming out of his head, those were antennae Barney: Marshall ran away from a cockroach. Marshall: It, it was a mouse. Barney: Oh, yeah, sorry, my bad. You're a man. Robin: Ooh, my story's on. Ted, pay attention. Carl, turn it up. (newscast on TV) Robin: I'm here with Ellen Pierce, New York's premiere matchmaker. Ellen, your company, Love Solutions boasts a 100% success rate. What's your secret? Ellen: Science. Everything in life can be broken down to ones and zeros, even love. All I have to do is input the variables, run the algorithm, and presto manifesto, you have a soulmate, and it works. Just ask all of my happy couples. And these are just the attractive ones, I have more photos in the bathroom. Robin: Love Solution's Ellen Pierce, a beacon of hope for New York city's lovelorn. Robin Scherbatsky... BAR Barney: Was that chick at the end really a client? Robin: Yes. Barney: We're signing up. Ted: What? Barney: Ted, these chicks are desperate and hot. That's a perfect cocktail. Shake well, then sleep with. Ted: I'm not going to a matchmaker. That's like giving up. It's the man version of getting a cat. Marshall: No, it wasn't a cockroach. It had fur and only mammals have fur. Lily: It was a cockroach. Marshall: Come on, Lily, the only way that that was a cockroach was if it was wearing the skin of a mouse it just killed. Lily: Oh my God. (Lily grabs Barney's drink as he's about to take a drink from it and drinks it herself) Barney: Come on. APARTMENT (Ted sitting on couch reading magazine, Ted hears squeaking and tiny footstep noises, Barney barges into the apartment_ Barney: Ted, hurry, you gotta help me. My boat is sinking. Ted: What? Barney: My boat is sinking. Ted: You have a boat? Yes, I bought a boat last year at a police auction. I just got a call from a guy down at the marina that it's leaning starboard at a 45 degree angle. If I don't get there right now, it's gonna capsize. Now, come on! (Ted and Barney run out of the apartment) OFFICE (Ted and Barney are filling out applications for Love Solutions) Ted: Your boat is sinking. That was good. Barney: Come on, Ted, this is an incredible opportunity. We'll meet our soulmates, nail 'em and never call them again. (chuckles) (Ellen enters the office) Ellen: All finished, gentlemen? Congratulations, you have just taken your very first step. Barney: Gosh, thanks, Ellen. I sure hope this works. I'm so done with the single life, all the games, the meaningless s*x. Ellen: You deserve more. Barney: That is so true, Ellen. I really think I'm ready to stop being a me and start being a we. Hey, is there anyway I can let it be known that I love cuddling? (Ellen, Ted and Barney sit around desk) Ellen: Oh, of course you can. That is so... Barney: It's kinda hard to talk about with Ted here, but I just want someone who's not afraid to hold me at night when the tears come. Ellen, can you help me find her? Ellen: Get out. Barney: What? Ellen: I get 15 guys like you every week. Jerks who just want to meet vulnerable women, nail 'em and never call them again. Barney: Oh my God, people do that. Ellen: You wanna do this the easy way or the hard way? Barney: What's the hard way? Security roughs me up and tosses me out? Ellen: That's the easy way. The hard way is that I stomp the crap out of you myself. (Barney looks like he doesn't believe her, Ellen stands up quickly, Barney stands up to run away) Barney: OK, Ted, let's go. (Ted gets up to leave) Ellen: Not you, you stay. (Ted and Ellen sit back down) Ellen: You're cute. You're an architect. Good career and you didn't use an obvious alias on your application like your friend, Jack Package. Barney (through office door): It's pronounced 'Pa-kojj.' Ellen: Get outta here! (Barney runs away) Ellen: You I can work with. You give me three days and I will find the woman you will marry. Ted: Ah, no thanks. I don't need an algorithm to meet women. It's New York City. You know, plenty of fish in the sea. Ellen: Plenty of fish in the sea. Yes, there's 9 million people in New York, 4.5 million women. Of course you wanna meet someone roughly your own age, let's say, plus minus 5 years. So if we take into account the most recent census data, that leaves us with 482,000. But, uh, wait 48% of those are already in relationships and then you have to eliminate half for intelligence, sense of humor and compatibility and then you have to take out the ex-girlfriends and the relatives and oh, we can't forget those lesbians and then that leaves us with 8 women. Ted: That can't be right. Eight? Really, eight? Ellen: There are 8 fish in that big, blue ocean, Ted. And if you feel confident that you can reel one into your boat without me, there's the door. Ted: Do you take credit cards? BAR (Barney and Robin sitting at booth; Marshall and Lily walk in) Lily: OK, it's back and this time we got a good look. (Lily sits by Barney and takes his drink away from him and drinks it) Barney: Hey, seriously, you have to stop doing that. Marshall: It's bigger now. It's been feeding. Lily: We were just upstairs watching TV. (flashback to Lily and Marshall sitting in apartment on couch in front of TV) Marshall: Ah gosh. (Marshall and Lily see something on ground) Lily: OK, let's do this. (Lily grabs aerosol spray can, Marshall grabs large phone book, Lily sprays and Marshall throws phone book on it, Lily screams and Marshall holds her) Marshall: Shh, shh, it's OK, it's over. (phone book starts moving towards kitchen, Marshall and Lily run out of apartment) (back to scene at bar) Barney: So did you get a good look at it? Lily: Yeah. It has six legs, a hard exoskeleton like a roach... Marshall: But it has mouse-like characteristics. Grey-brown tufts of fur, a tail. Robin: So which is it, a cockroach or a mouse? Lily: It's a cockamouse. Robin: What? Lily: It's some sort of mutant combination of the two. It's as if a cockroach and a mouse...you know... Barney: Hit the horizontal ten-legged interspecies cha-cha? Robin: That's impossible. That simply can't happen. Lily: Oh, but it can. Marshall: And it has Lily: And it's pissed. (Lily and Marshall down shots) (Ted walks into the bar) Ted: Dude, is everything OK? You left the front door open. Marshall: There was no time. Robin: So Love Solutions, did you meet the love of your life? Ted: She said it'd take three days. It's been five days. Should I be worried? Lily: Oh, just play it cool. Don't Ted out about it. Ted: Did you just use my name as a verb? Barney: Oh, yeah, we do that behind your back. Ted-out: to overthink. Also see Ted-up. Ted-up: to overthink something with disastrous results. Sample sentence: Billy Tedded up when Ted: OK, I get it. Don't worry, I'm not gonna ted anything up or out. I'll just give it a few more days. LOVE SOLUTIONS OFFICE (subtitled '20 minutes later,' Ted enters Ellen's office) Ted: Hi, Ellen. Remember me? I'm Ted. Ellen: Ted, hi. I meant to call you. The computer is still crunching the numbers. Busy as a bee, that little computer. Ted: You said it was gonna be three days. Ellen: Did I? Ted: Hm. Ellen: Three days? Really? Ted: Yeah. When someone says you're gonna meet the perfect woman in three days, you gotta put that in your datebook, so... Ellen: How do I say this? This is gonna be really hard. Ted, there are absolutely no women out there for you. Phew, actually I got through that OK. (return from commercial break) Ted: There are no women for me out there? I thought you said there were 8. Ellen: I know. There are supposed to be. I don't know where they are. Ted: But, I'm an architect. And you said I'm cute. I'm a cute architect. Ellen: How do you think I feel? I have a 100% success rate. It's my hook. I could probably find somebody for you if you were gay. Ted: Well, I'm not. Ellen: A little bi maybe? Ted: No. You're messing with me, right? Ellen: Come see for yourself. (Ellen brings Ted over to her computer) Ellen: I cannot set you up unless you have a compatibility rating of 7.0 or higher, and look, 5.4, 4.8, 5.6... Ted: There's a 9.6 right there. (Ted points to something on computer monitor) Ellen: Don't touch the computer. Yes, Sarah O'Brien. I fixed her up six months ago. She would have been absolutely perfect for you. Ted: What about the guy you set her up with? Is he a 9.6 compatibility rating? Ellen: 8.5. Ted: So he sucks. Ellen: No, 8.5 is an extremely good match-up quotient. Ted: Oh, sure, it's good. It's solid. But a 9.6? Ellen: Yes, 9.6 is off the charts, but Sarah is matched up. Ted, look, I have a lunch. Please. I promise we will find you somebody. Don't lose hope. There are new women turning 18 every day. (Ted and Ellen leave office, Ted sneaks back into office and goes to computer and takes printouts, hides them in his jacket and runs back out of office) [SCENE_BREAK] BAR (Lily and Marshall giving presentation at bar, Marshall is drawing something on a little chalkboard) Lily: He's a whole new species. The cockamouse. Marshall: And it's the size of a potato. (Marshall shows everyone his drawing of the cockamous) Robin: So, what, now it's a cockapotatomouse? Marshall: Don't make it sound ridiculous. It's a cockamouse. (Barney and Ted are sitting at booth with Ted looking at printouts he took from Love Solutions) Ted: My God, this is incredible. We're like the same person. Sarah O'Brien loves brunch. She wants to have two children. Her guilty pleasure song is Summer Breeze by Seals and Croft. Barney: Wow, Ted, sounds like you're her perfect woman. Marshall: And like the majestic seahorse it's hermaphroditic. Lily: Obviously the whole thing is shrouded in mystery. Marshall: For as much as we know about the cockamousse, there are still so much we don't know. Robin: Well, we know that there's no such thing as a cockamouse. What we don't know is what you guys have been smoking. Marshall: So you really don't believe in the cockamouse? Robin: Well, I believe that you saw something perfectly normal but you've exaggerated it in your mind, you know, um, like the Loch Ness Monster. Marshall: If by 'like the Loch Ness Monster,' you mean, totally exists and is awesome, then yeah, it's like the Loch Ness monster. (Robin walks over to Ted and Barney) Marshall: It's diet is not unlike our own, grains, cereals and it's awfully fond of cheese... Ted: OK, this is getting weird, the similarities go on and on. She hates phonies. I totally hate phonies too. She's a dermatologist. I have skin. Barney: You wanna be her boyfriend. She already has a boyfriend. It's uncanny. Ted: All right, but it wouldn't hurt to check her out, right? See what my 9.6 looks like in person, as, you know, a frame of reference. And if she thinks she can do 11.45% better, who am I to deny her that? Future Ted VO: That's right, I did the math. DOCTOR'S OFFICE (Ted waiting in examination room, doctor walks in) Ted: Hi. Sarah: Hi, I'm Dr. O'Brien. Ted: I'm Architect Mosby. Sorry I just wanted to say my job too. (Sarah laughs) Ted: Hi, I'm Ted. Sarah: So, what are we doing today? Ted: I have a kind of mole on my back. It's probably nothing but I'm a cautious guy. Sarah: I'm exactly the same. Ted (singing): Summer breeze makes me feel fine, blowing through the jasmine in my mind. Sarah (joining in singing): Blowing through the jasmine in my mind. Ted: Sorry about that, Summer Breeze is my guilty pleasure song. Ted: Oh, it's been stuck in my head ever since I heard it this weekend at brunch. Sarah: I love brunch. Ted: It's the best, as long as I don't have to spend it with a bunch of phonies. Sarah: I like the way you think, Architect Mosby. Ted: Hey, this may sound weird but it'll definitely sound more weird once my shirt's off so I'm gonna ask you now. Do you wanna have dinner with me Saturday night? Sarah: Oh, that's very sweet, but I'm actually getting married on Saturday. Ted: Friday night? (return from commercial break) Ted: Wow, you're getting married. Congratulations. Sarah: Thank you. Ted: I'm really sorry I asked you out. If just felt like there might be this weird connection between us. How crazy am I coming off here? Sarah: Only a little. Ted: Well, by some million to one shot, and I'm not rooting for this, you wind up not getting married this weekend, give me a call. Sarah: OK, but it's not likely. I look damn good in my dress. Ted: I'm sure you do. APARTMENT (Lily and Marshall working on contraption in living room area, Robin walks in from kitchen) Robin: Wow, that's a pretty sophisticated trap. You think the road runner's gonna fall for it? Lily: OK, we get it. You're skeptical. But Marshall and I, we're believers. We believe. Marshall: Yeah, look around. The universe is mysterious and awesome. You got the Bermuda triangle, ghosts, Big Foot. Robin: Bad maps. Creaky houses. Hillbilly in a gorilla suit. Marshall: Aliens. (Robin shakes her head) Marshall: Oh, come one, you gotta give me aliens. Stonehenge. Area 51. There's alien crap all over the place. Robin: You can't be serious. Marshall: My friend, you just poked the bear. (Marshall walks toward his bedroom, Ted and Barney walk in through front door) Ted: So, my 9.6, beautiful, charming, intelligent, engaged. Robin: Oh. Lily: Oh, Ted, I'm so sorry. Ted: Yeah, it was a long shot. I told her to call me anyway if she changes her mine, but I don't know... Lily: Whoa whoa whoa, let's not skip over this. Raise your hand if earlier today you hit on an engaged woman. (Ted and Barney both raise their hands) Barney: Come on, Lily, don't hate the player, hate the game. (Marshall walks in from his bedroom reading from a book) Marshall: On the night of July 2nd, 1947, conditions were clear over Roswell, New Mexico. Robin: Oh geez. Marshall: Oh, hey, Ted, there's a message on the machine for you. Dr. O'Brien. Ted: What? Marshall: When suddenly, an array of (Ted jumps over to machine and shushes Marshall to listen to message) Sarah (on answering machine): Ted, hi, this is Dr. O'Brien. About today, listen, I really need to talk to you. Call me, I'll be at the office all day. Barney: The doctor will see you now. (return from commercial break) Ted: What should I do? I should totally go down there, right? Lily: Don't interfere. Some guy is expecting to marry this woman on Saturday. Ted: Yeah, an 8.5 guy. Look, if I was marrying the wrong person and the right person was out there and knew it, I'd want that person to come down to my dermatology office and tell me so. In that scenario, I'm not interfering, I'm a happy ending. Barney: (chuckles) Happy ending. Ted: Look, I have to go down there. I don't know what's gonna happen when I get there but I have to give it a shot. (Ted leaves apartment) Barney: All right, see you later. Happy hunting. (Barney and Robin get up to leave) Lily: Wait, where are you guys going? Don't you want to stay and see the cockamouse. Barney: Yeah, we're gonna make some crop circles. (pot falls down from contraption) Marshall: Oh my God! Lily: Holy crap. We got it! What do we do with it? Marshall: Calm down, I have a plan. I told my friend, Sudeep, about it. He wants to show it to the Columbia biology department. But it has to be alive. Lily: Wait, no no. They'll do lab experiments on it. That's so mean. Shouldn't we just beat it to death with a bat? DOCTOR'S OFFICE (Ted enters Dr. O'Brien's office) Ted: Hello again. Sarah: I'm glad you came down. I would prefer to say this to you in person. Ted: Go ahead, Sarah, you can tell me anything. Sarah: You have a basal cell carcinoma. Ted: Anything else? Sarah: Your mole. The biopsy came back. It's not life-threatening, but we should excise the rest of it. Ted: Wait, then you're still getting married. Sarah: Of course I'm still getting married. Ted: But we're a 9.6. Sarah: Excuse me. Ted: OK, I, I went to Love Solutions and I saw on Ellen Pierce's computer that you and I are a 9.6. Your fiance's only an 8.5. Sarah: You looked at my file. Ted: I had to. You're my only match. Aren't you even a little curious? The woman who set you up with your fiancé thinks we're a better match. Sarah: I am getting married on Saturday. Ted (singing): Summer breeze... Sarah: Ted. Ted: Look, don't you think you're being a little impulsive marrying a guy you just met a few months ago? Sarah: Don't you think it's a little impulsive for you to proposition an engaged woman you don't even know? Ted: See, we're both impulsive. We're perfect for each other. Sarah: Ted, just calm down. Ted: Calm down! You're my only match! There was a computer and there were 8 fish in the sea full of lesbians. Sarah: Ted, Ted, do you honestly believe deep down that there is no one else out there for you just because some computer says so. Ted: Didn't used to. There was math, I got confused. Sarah: Love isn't a science. You can't calculate a feeling. When you fall in love with someone, 8.5 equals a perfect 10. Ted: You're right. LAB (Marshall bring Sudeep cockamouse in pot) Sudeep: If this thing is what you say it is, it could be huge for my career. Marshall: Brace yourself, dude. This is gonna blow your mind hold. (Sudeep moves cover to peek into pot) Sudeep: You b*st*rd, I actually got excited about this. Marshall: What? Sudeep: It's empty. (Sudeep removes cover of pot completely and Marshall looks in) Marshall: Wait, but if it's not here, that means...Lily. APARTMENT (Robin sits on couch, Lily walks into living room area but backs away and hides) Lily: Robin. Robin: What? (Robin walks over to Lily and sees what she sees) Robin: Oh my God. It's real. Lily: Oh, is it? Do something. (Robin throws drink at it) Lily: What the hell was that? You trying to get it drunk? Robin: It was the only think I could think of. (Marshall runs into apartment) Marshall: Lily thank God. (Lily points over to cockamouse) Marshall: Lily, I love you. (Marshall grabs cockamouse and run towards window) Marshall: Robin, open the window! (Lily, Marshall and Robin run over to window and Robin tries to open window, Marshall throws cockamouse out the window) Robin: It can fly. Lily, Marshall: Wow. Marshall: Be free, mutant beast. I'll miss this private war of ours. I grew to admire your tenacious...Oh my God, it's headed this way. (Marshall slams window shut and animal flies into it) LOVE SOLUTIONS OFFICE (Ellen sits alone in the dark, Ted enters office) Ted: Hi Ellen. I think I want my money back. Ellen: I'm a failure. I'm all washed up. I tried everything, Ted. I widened the search parameters. I tweaked the program. Last night, I stood out on the street for five hours showing your photo to random pedestrians, no takers. Although this transvestite hooker said he/she would do you for half price because you kinda look like John Cusack and his/her favorite movie was Say Anything. Ted: Come on, Ellen, I mean, a pint of ice cream isn't that a bit cliché? Ellen: It's for the bourbon. Ted: This isn't hopeless. You're gonna find someone for me. Ellen: No, I won't. You're gonna die alone. Ted: I'm not gonna die alone. Look at me. I'm bright, I'm attractive. You just have to get back out there and keep looking. Ellen: No, you're never gonna find anybody. And every year, you're just getting older and it's getting harder and harder. Ted: You're being ridiculous. I'm gonna be up on that wall one of these days. Ellen: No you won't. Ted: Yes I will Ellen: How do you know? Ted: I don't know, but I believe. Hell, if a cockroach and a mouse can find love in this crazy city, then, dammit, so can I. Ellen: You're losing me. Ted: Point is, something good is going to happen to me. Maybe your computer will help, maybe it won't, but it'll happen. Ellen: So I should keep looking? Ted: Of course you should. And now you're gonna do it for free.

Plan: A: Robin; Q: Who directs Ted to an online matchmaking service? A: a skeptical Ted; Q: Who does Robin direct to an online matchmaking service? A: Ted; Q: Who sneaks information out of the matchmaker's computer to visit a dermatologist? A: a 100% success rate; Q: What is the success rate of the online matchmaking service? A: Ted zero; Q: What number of matches does the matchmaking service give Ted? A: a strange and unusual critter; Q: What do Marshall and Lily become obsessed with chasing out of their apartment? Summary: Robin directs a skeptical Ted to an online matchmaking service with a 100% success rate. When the service gives Ted zero matches, Ted sneaks information out of the matchmaker's computer to visit an engaged dermatologist in an effort to debunk the prediction that there are no women out there for him. Meanwhile, Marshall and Lily become obsessed with chasing a strange and unusual critter out of their apartment.

DAY OF THE DALEKS BY: LOUIS MARKS 5:50pm - 6:15pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: INT. DALEKS' CHAMBER (A jacketless DOCTOR lies on a table in the DALEKS' chamber. He is firmly restrained by a metallic strap across his chest. His head is braced and he wears a metallic band across his forehead which has a central disc on it. Swirling sounds fill the room and the DOCTOR seems paralysed by the effect of the operation on him. On a screen over the doorway appear still images of his two previous appearances over strange multi-coloured patterns. The DALEKS are triumphant...) CHIEF DALEK: You are the Doctor! You are an enemy of the Daleks! Now you are in our power! You will be exterminated! DALEKS: You will be exterminated! You will be exterminated! You will be exterminated! You will be exterminated! (The DALEKS aim their guns. The CONTROLLER shouts from outside in the control room.) CONTROLLER: Stop! (He runs in.) CONTROLLER: You mustn't kill him! CHIEF DALEK: Be silent. CONTROLLER: Don't you realise he can help us? FIRST DALEK: The Doctor is an enemy of the Daleks. How can he help us? CONTROLLER: He is our contact with the guerillas. He has valuable information. CHIEF DALEK: You have proof of this? CONTROLLER: I know he's working for them. The manager of one-one-seven has been proved to be a subversive agent. And the Doctor was trying to contact him when we picked him up. FIRST DALEK: We will force the truth from him with the Mind Analysis machine. (The CONTROLLER gestures imploringly at the totally-still form on the table.) CONTROLLER: But look at him! You've practically killed him just getting a simple admission of identity. He'll die before he tells you anything else. CHIEF DALEK: What is your plan? CONTROLLER: Let me interrogate him. CHIEF DALEK: Why should you be more successful? CONTROLLER: Because I understand human psychology. I shall be able to gain his confidence. To put pressure on him through the girl. By the time I have finished with him, I shall be able to crush the guerilla organisation entirely! CHIEF DALEK: Release him. (The swirling noise from the Mind Analysis Machine slows down and dies out as an OGRON steps forward to carry out the order.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2: INT. CENTRAL CONTROL INTERROGATION ROOM (JO has been taken to the interrogation room. She sits on a seat with a worried look on her face. The wall panel buzzes upwards and the SENIOR GUARD steps in, looking down at her impassively.) JO: The Doctor! How is he? SENIOR GUARD: Come with me. JO: But... (He turns and stalks off. JO follows.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3: INT. DALEKS' CHAMBER (A weakened DOCTOR is on his feet - just. He is held up by two OGRONS and stands before the CHIEF DALEK and his cohorts. The CONTROLLER watches.) CHIEF DALEK: The Daleks have discovered the secret of time travel. We have invaded Earth again. We have changed the pattern of history. (With difficulty, the DOCTOR speaks...) DOCTOR: Y...you won't succeed, you know? (The CHIEF DALEK'S voice rises...) CHIEF DALEK: The Dalek empire will spread through all planets and all times. No one can withstand the power of the Daleks! CONTROLLER: Take him away. (The OGRONS lead the DOCTOR away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4: INT. GUERILLA BASE (MONIA puts a map down on a table. It shows a series of buildings surrounded by a perimeter fence. He points to two places on the map as ANAT, BOAZ and other guerillas look on.) MONIA: Now, the control centre is here. As far as we know they're being held prisoner in this block here. BOAZ: Then how do we get through? MONIA: The disused underground railway of the old city. There's an exit right by this wall. BOAZ: Even as a ruin it has its uses. MONIA: Come, time is short. (ANAT puts her gun in her side-bag and she and her colleagues leave their base.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5: INT. CONTROL CENTRE GUEST SUITE (The DOCTOR, JO and the CONTROLLER have resumed their places in the guest suite. The DOCTOR has recovered both his jacket and his strength. Nevertheless, he shows little gratitude to the CONTROLLER...) DOCTOR: My dear man, how can I tell you what I don't know myself? CONTROLLER: But you were in contact with the guerillas? JO: But not through choice. Look, they were going to kill him. I know the Doctor would help you if he could. CONTROLLER: I am trying to help him! I've already save his life. DOCTOR: Yes, for your own purposes. CONTROLLER: Look, if you do not tell me everything that manager knew about these criminals - where they operate from, what their plans are - then the Daleks will destroy both of you. DOCTOR: I don't doubt it. CONTROLLER: Do you value life so little? DOCTOR: On that contrary, I value it enormously. The Daleks will kill us whatever we tell you. CONTROLLER: Not if you co-operate with them. DOCTOR: As you c-operate with them? Do you really think that makes any difference? CONTROLLER: They can be reasonable! DOCTOR: (His voice rising.) Reasonable! They tolerate you as long as you're useful to them. CONTROLLER: I am a senior government official. DOCTOR: (Shouts.) You sir...you sir, are a traitor! You're a Quisling! CONTROLLER: (Angrily.) Silence! You do not understand! (He calms down and grows reflective...) CONTROLLER: Nobody who did not live through those terrible years can understand. Towards the end of the twentieth century, a series of wars broke out. There was a hundred years of nothing but...killing, destruction. Seven-eighths of the world's population was wiped out. The rest were living in...holes in the ground, starving - reduced to the level of animals. JO: So the Daleks saw their opportunity and took over? CONTROLLER: There was no power on Earth to stop them. DOCTOR: So, they've turned the Earth into a giant factory, with all the wealth and minerals were looted and taken to Skaro. CONTROLLER: Exactly. Men who were strong enough, of course, were sent down the mines, the rest...work in factories. JO: Why? Why are they doing all this? CONTROLLER: They need a constant flow of raw materials. Their empire is expanding. JO: How did you come to work for them? CONTROLLER: They chose a few humans to help them get things going again, to organise the remaining population. (Proudly.) My family have been controllers in this area for three generations. DOCTOR: A family of Quisling's, eh? (The CONTROLLER takes the bait...) CONTROLLER: We have helped make things better for the others! We have gained concessions! I have saved lives! DOCTOR: Wouldn't you have helped more by organising the fight against them? CONTROLLER: No one can fight against the Daleks. DOCTOR: That's not what your criminal guerillas seem to think, is it? CONTROLLER: A handful of fanatics? Most of them have been...killed already. I assure you there is nothing they can do to change things. [SCENE_BREAK] 6: EXT. CENTRAL CONTROL (An OGRON stands guard just outside the pillared forecourt to central control. A guerilla jumps down from a staircase onto its back, knocking it unconscious. ANAT uses one of the pillars for cover as she starts to fire at the other OGRON guards who start to approach. From another side, a DALEK approaches and from this angle, ANAT is exposed.) DALEK: Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! BOAZ: Anat, look out! (BOAZ jumps forward and slams a bomb onto the side of the DALEK. It goes off almost instantly, killing both him and the DALEK, only the base of which remains. MONIA and another guerilla start to fire at two OGRONS. One of them is hit and fades into nothing but the other returns fire and a guerilla undergoes the same fate. MONIA, ANAT and the other guerillas redouble their fire and the second OGRON is hit.) MONIA: Come! We must reach the control centre, come! (They start to run further into the complex. ANAT hesitates as she sees BOAZ lying next to the destroyed DALEK. MONIA sees her.) MONIA: No! Come! Come! (She shakes herself out of her reverie and runs after her compatriots.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7: INT. CONTROL CENTRE GUEST SUITE (Within the buildings, the "discussion" between the DOCTOR and the CONTROLLER continues...) CONTROLLER: If you don't give me the information I need, there is nothing I can do to help you. DOCTOR: For the last time, I tell you I haven't got any information. (Angrily.) And quite frankly, even if I had, I wouldn't give it to you! (Further talk is forestalled as MONIA, ANAT and the guerillas burst into the room, their guns raised.) MONIA: Right, stay where you are! (The three people within jump to their feet.) CONTROLLER: Guards! MONIA: Guards? You have no guards. They're all dead. ANAT: (To the DOCTOR and JO.) Are you all right? DOCTOR: Yes, thank you. All the better for seeing you. ANAT: You're coming with us. (The two need no further invitation and start to leave the suite.) ANAT: No harm must come to these two. Too much depends on them. (MONIA aims his gun at the CONTROLLER.) MONIA: As for you, my friend... (The DOCTOR hears this and steps back.) DOCTOR: Put that gun down! There's no point in murdering him. (MONIA keeps his gun trained...) MONIA: You don't know how much blood there is on his hands. DOCTOR: Nevertheless, he's not your real enemy. MONIA: He helped the Daleks. He's worked for them! DOCTOR: They would always have found someone! Now just leave him. (There is a tense moment, and then MONIA lowers his gun.) ANAT: Right, let's go. (They all go, MONIA providing cover for the rear as they go. Left behind but unharmed, the CONTROLLER is relieved and thoughtful at the same time...) [SCENE_BREAK] 8: EXT. TUNNEL AREA (Back in the twentieth century, the BRIGADIER drives up a jeep towards where CAPTAIN YATES and several UNIT soldiers stand near the tunnel. YATES walks up to the jeep and makes a report which is not well received...) CAPTAIN YATES: ... , Sergeant. ... searched ... BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE-STEWART: Then search again, Yates. CAPTAIN YATES: We've been through every inch of the tunnel, sir. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE-STEWART: And even the Doctor can't vanish into thin air. He must be somewhere. Extend the radius of the search. CAPTAIN YATES: I'll need some more men, sir. (A motorcycle draws up next to the two men.) BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE-STEWART: You can have all you want. From now on, this house is top priority. (The BRIGADIER looks over at the cyclist who hands him a note. He opens it and reads it.) BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE-STEWART: "Sir Reginald Styles and other delegates arriving by special plane at RAF Manston - at 18.00 hours." [SCENE_BREAK] 9: INT. GUERILLA BASE (The DOCTOR and JO have been taken to the guerilla base and are sat down with ANAT and MONIA as they discuss the situation. Other guerillas look on.) JO: But how do you know this? MONIA: Oh, there are books. Even during the wars, people found time to study, to write about it. ANAT: What to you has not yet happened, is to us history. DOCTOR: This history of yours - it...it talks about Sir Reginald Styles? MONIA: Oh yeah, he pretended to be working for peace, but really he just wanted power for himself. DOCTOR: So the conference he called was just a trick? MONIA: He managed to lure the world leaders to a remote country house, and he pretended they needed absolute quiet if the meeting was to succeed. But then, there was a devastating explosion... ANAT: And Styles was killed with the others. He must have set a bomb and mis-timed the charge. MONIA: There were accusations, counter-accusations, and then the wars began. That was the turning point. JO: But if this true, Sir Reginald Styles must be completely round the bend! DOCTOR: Er, so, you went back into our time to kill Styles before he could carry out his plan? MONIA: Right. We've been fighting the Daleks for years. But it was hopeless. Eventually we must lose, so we thought - what else can we do? ANAT: We learnt through one of our spies that the Daleks had succeeded in creating a time machine. We even managed to steal a copy of the plans, and we built one of our own, so that we could go back into history to the exact point where things started to go wrong. MONIA: With one action, we could them. Mankind could have a chance to take a new direction! ANAT: But even now, the transfer isn't always stable. People materialised in your time and then just...faded away. JO: (To the DOCTOR.) The ghost that Styles saw? (The DOCTOR nods.) MONIA: Yeah, now, somehow...somehow, the Daleks found what we were doing. And they sent Ogrons back into your time after us and attacked one of our men. DOCTOR: (To JO.) Well, that must have been the man that we saw down by the canal tunnel. (JO looks puzzled.) DOCTOR: You remember, Jo, the one who vanished from the ambulance? (JO'S face clears as she realises the connection.) ANAT: Yes, we fixed on the tunnel as a place that was stable in your time and in ours. We used it as a transfer point. Well, you know the rest. DOCTOR: Yes, well there's a...there's one thing I don't quite understand and that is...why were you so keen to rescue us? Well believe me, we're grateful, but... MONIA: Well, you told us yourself - you're an old enemy of the Daleks. DOCTOR: Yes. MONIA: Then you will help us to beat them? DOCTOR: What do you expect me to do? MONIA: Well, you can succeed where we've failed, Doctor. We want you to go back into your own time...and kill Styles! [SCENE_BREAK] 10: EXT. AUDERLY HOUSE (As preparations for the conference start, the front of Auderly House would seem to be protected by a ring of steel as SHURA watches from the shrubbery. Holding his injured left arm, he rushes from bush to bush and tree to tree as he skirts the house. He breaks through one set of bushes and sees the he is at the back of the house. He checks that he has not been seen and runs down a short flight of steps to a rear door. He enters the house...) [SCENE_BREAK] 11: INT. GUERILLA BASE (The DOCTOR is shocked by MONIA'S request.) DOCTOR: You're asking me to commit murder! (He rises to his feet.) ANAT: No! We're asking you to kill one man and prevent millions more dying! DOCTOR: That is still murder! MONIA: Isn't it worth it? To save the human race from the Daleks? DOCTOR: Yes, but would it? ANAT: We've told you how it happened! DOCTOR: But your history could be wrong, you know? (He leans against a pillar and looks back at MONIA.) DOCTOR: Now listen, why don't you send us back to our time? We know the future now - maybe there are other things we can do? ANAT: Monia, we're wasting valuable time! Every minute that goes by! MONIA: Doctor, will you help us? It's our only hope. JO: I still can't believe that Sir Reginald Styles is a ruthless murderer. DOCTOR: Yes, I agree, Jo. Vain to the point of arrogance, a trifle obstinate, perhaps, but basically a good man. So, if it happened, how did it happen? (He thinks furiously for a moment, his fingers drumming mid-air, then a sudden thought strikes him...) DOCTOR: Any of your people still in our time zone? MONIA: No. ANAT: Oh, Shura. He left just to send a message and we never saw nor heard from him again. We assumed he must be dead. [SCENE_BREAK] 12: INT. AUDERLY HOUSE. CELLAR (SHURA has made it back to the cellar where the DOCTOR and JO were previously imprisoned. Crouching on the floor, he takes the plastic bag out of his jacket and unpacks the bomb. He adjusts a control on top of the device.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13: INT. GUERILLA BASE (Two centuries later, the discussion in the guerilla's cellar base continues.) MONIA: Look, why are you so interested in Shura? DOCTOR: I'm curious, that's all. ANAT: (Angrily.) Curious! Well, that's funny! Mark and Boaz got killed to save you and you're curious! MONIA: Anat! (ANAT controls herself.) DOCTOR: Look, please believe me, I'm completely with you about the ends. I only disagree as to the means. MONIA: All right. What do you want to know? DOCTOR: (To ANAT.) This mission of yours to the twentieth century - what did you take with you? ANAT: The usual battle gear - radio, disintegrators... DOCTOR: Any sabotage equipment? ANAT: Only a few charges of Dalekanium. DOCTOR: (Puzzled.) Dalekanium? ANAT: It's a highly effective type of explosive. We stole the formulae from the Daleks. (The DOCTOR starts to see the truth...) DOCTOR: Could it destroy a house? MONIA: What are you trying to say, Doctor? DOCTOR: Well, don't you see? This has happened before! ANAT: What has? DOCTOR: You went back to change history, but you didn't change anything - you became a part of it. MONIA: What are you talking about? DOCTOR: If Styles didn't cause that explosion, somebody else did. ANAT: Well, obviously, but who... (ANAT realises with horror what the DOCTOR is getting at...) ANAT: Shura! DOCTOR: Isn't that exactly what he would have done? One last suicidal attempt to carry out his orders? MONIA: It's possible, I suppose... DOCTOR: (Intense.) You're trapped in a temporal paradox! Styles didn't cause that explosion and start the wars - you did it yourselves! [SCENE_BREAK] 14: INT. DALEKS' CHAMBER (The CONTROLLER stands before the DALEKS.) CHIEF DALEK: You have failed the Daleks. The Doctor has escaped. CONTROLLER: He will be recaptured. I swear it! CHIEF DALEK: He must be found and destroyed. CONTROLLER: He will attempt to return to his own time zone. If those guerillas are helping him, they will use the tunnel - and I am setting up an ambush. (The entrance to the chamber starts to buzz upwards.) CHIEF DALEK: If you fail us again, you will pay with your life. This is your final chance. CONTROLLER: I will go and supervise the operations myself. (He leaves the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 15: INT. CONTROL ROOM (Outside the SENIOR GUARD waits, an insolent smile on his face.) CONTROLLER: Is everything ready? SENIOR GUARD: Security forces have covered the whole tunnel. (Mocking.) Don't worry - they won't escape a second time. (The CONTROLLER gives him a look, and then stalks off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 16: EXT. WASTELAND (Escorted by MONIA, ANAT and the guerillas, the DOCTOR and JO are taken through the wasteland. The guerillas have their guns constantly trained. They stop near a manhole in the ground and MONIA passes one of the time machines to the DOCTOR.) MONIA: Now, you are sure you know how to use it? DOCTOR: Well, it seems simple enough. Bit too simple, for my liking. MONIA: Right. We will give you covering fire, just in case. DOCTOR: Good. (The DOCTOR steps down into the hole and lifts up a hand to help JO down. She starts to step into the hole.) JO: (To ANAT.) Take care. (Keeping her eyes on the ground around, ANAT waves her thanks. JO disappears from view and the manhole is closed over them.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17: INT. TUNNEL (The DOCTOR steps down the ladder, closely followed by JO. They run off into the darkness, closely followed by two silent OGRONS.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18: INT. ANOTHER PART OF THE TUNNEL (The DOCTOR and JO run into two more OGRONS and they are quickly surrounded as the two behind them catch up. The CONTROLLER steps out of the shadows.) CONTROLLER: So it has ended as I said it would. Did I not tell you it was madness to fight the Daleks? DOCTOR: Is it madness to want to see a world free from their rule? CONTROLLER: It can't be done. DOCTOR: Oh yes, it can. And I can do it. Are you going to stop me? (The CONTROLLER considers and then looks at the surrounding OGRONS.) CONTROLLER: Go. I will deal with these criminals myself. (The creatures hesitate.) CONTROLLER: I said go! (They obey the order and move off. After they have gone, the CONTROLLER turns back to the DOCTOR.) CONTROLLER: If only I could be sure. DOCTOR: You spoke of the war - of its years of suffering and starvation. Well, I can prevent all that happening, you know? (The CONTROLLER stares at the DOCTOR and speaks quietly...) CONTROLLER: You saved my life. You could have let them kill me. Go, quickly. DOCTOR: Thank you. (The DOCTOR steps back a few feet.) DOCTOR: Jo, come here and stand by me. (A scared and nervous JO steps back and joins the DOCTOR. He operates the time machine and, in a flare of lights, they disappear. The CONTROLLER thinks for a moment and then moves off. He fails to see the SENIOR GUARD who is hidden round the corner and has heard everything.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19: EXT. TUNNEL AREA (SERGEANT BENTON is stood on the canal bank some distance from the tunnel entrance when a UNIT soldier, stood near to the entrance, shouts across to him.) UNIT SOLDIER: Sergeant! They're here! (BENTON turns and sees the DOCTOR and JO running from the tunnel. He immediately switches on his radio.) SERGEANT BENTON: (Into radio.) This is Sergeant Benton calling UNIT HQ. Look, we've found them. Will you get a jeep over here pronto? (The DOCTOR and JO reach him.) SERGEANT BENTON: This way, Doctor. (BENTON leads them away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 20: INT. DALEKS' CHAMBER (Utterly composed, the CONTROLLER stands before the DALEKS.) CONTROLLER: I am sorry. They were too quick for us. They escaped in the darkness. CHIEF DALEK: (Angrily.) You are lying. You have betrayed the Daleks. CONTROLLER: No! I told you before - those security guards are no match for humans. CHIEF DALEK: You are a traitor to the Daleks. You must be exterminated! CONTROLLER: Who knows? I may have helped to exterminate you! (The CHIEF DALEK fires. The air turns negative with the power of the ray which holds the CONTROLLER suspended. He then slumps to the ground. After a moment, the SENIOR GUARD steps forward from one side of the chamber and stands to attention.) CHIEF DALEK: You have proved yourself worthy to be the new controller, but be warned - the Daleks demand total loyalty from those who serve them. SENIOR GUARD: Of course. (His new position secured, he bows and walks out of the chamber as the DALEKS gather round the dead body of the CONTROLLER.) CHIEF DALEK: We must follow them into the twentieth century time zone. FIRST DALEK: The peace conference must be destroyed. War must break out. CHIEF DALEK: The Dalek conquest of the planet Earth must not be reversed! [SCENE_BREAK] 21: TELEVISION REPORT (A REPORTER stands on the lawn at the front of Auderly House. Behind him, soldiers stand guard at the entrance to the house and there are other reporters and press photographers.) TELEVISION REPORTER: Here in the peaceful heart of England... (A caption appears:) ALEX MacINTOSH (Auderly House) TELEVISION REPORTER: ...will soon take place what could be described as the most important summit conference of this century. The peaceful atmosphere of this Georgian house gives little indication of the underlying tension of the occasion. A desperate, last-minute attempt to stem the rising tide of international tension seems to be moving the great powers towards the brink of a third world war. (A motorcade made up of several motorcyclists and several limousines draws up in front of the house.) TELEVISION REPORTER: Arriving now is Sir Reginald Styles who, with his team of government aides, has been working around the clock to make this meeting possible. (SIR REGINALD STYLES meets the BRIGADIER and they walk into the house.) TELEVISION REPORTER: Sir Reginald himself, has just returned from an eleventh-hour meeting in Peking... (A Chinese delegate gets out of another car and enters the house.) TELEVISION REPORTER: ...where his success in persuading the Chinese leaders to reconsider their walk-out... (An African delegate gets out of the next car...) TELEVISION REPORTER: ...gave the first real chance of success to these talks. (Another delegate, white haired and dressed in a brown suit gets out of another car and is pointed into the house.) TELEVISION REPORTER: Talks, on which may well depend, the fate of the entire world. (The report ends with the REPORTER watching the delegate's cars.) [SCENE_BREAK] 22: INT. AUDERLY HOUSE. HALLWAY (STYLES walks into the hallway followed by the BRIGADIER and his aide.) SIR REGINALD STYLES: Everything set up, Brigadier? BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE-STEWART: Yes, sir. Although I still feel... SIR REGINALD STYLES: (Interrupts.) We won't waste time on the formalities. We'll just got on with the business as soon as possible. [SCENE_BREAK] 23: EXT. AUDERLY HOUSE (A UNIT jeep, driven by the DOCTOR tears up the drive of the house and screeches to a halt outside the front. The DOCTOR and JO get out and run inside.) [SCENE_BREAK] 24: INT. AUDERLY HOUSE. HALLWAY SIR REGINALD STYLES: (To the BRIGADIER.) Look, you're supposed to be in charge of security. Kindly get on with your job and leave me to get on with mine. DOCTOR: (OOV.) Brigadier! (The DOCTOR and JO run up to them.) DOCTOR: Brigadier, get everybody out of this house at once! BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE-STEWART: Where the devil have you been? DOCTOR: Never mind all that! Just clear this house immediately! SIR REGINALD STYLES: What's the man talking about? JO: Do as he says! Look, there isn't much time! [SCENE_BREAK] 25: EXT. TUNNEL AREA (As if to prove JO'S words, two OGRONS emerge from the tunnel underneath the railway bridge. Immediately behind them is a grey DALEK, followed by more OGRONS, another grey DALEK and then the CHIEF DALEK. More grey DALEKS and OGRONS follow. UNIT troops are still stationed near the tunnel and a furious battle erupts between the soldiers bullets and the OGRON'S ray guns. The CHIEF DALEK fires and two soldiers are hit. Their arms rise up in agony as the ray hits them and then they fall.) [SCENE_BREAK] 26: INT. AUDERLY HOUSE. HALLWAY (A less deadly battle of wills is taking place in the hallway of Auderly House between the DOCTOR and SIR REGINALD.) DOCTOR: Look, try and use your intelligence, man - even if you are a politician! SIR REGINALD STYLES: Brigadier, if you can't get this lunatic out of my way... BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE-STEWART: (Interrupts.) I know it all sounds incredible, sir, but the Doctor usually knows what he's talking about. SIR REGINALD STYLES: Arranging this conference was an almost impossible task. It is no exaggeration to say that the world depends on its success. I will not jeopardise that success now! DOCTOR: Brigadier, get this man and all the delegates out of this area immediately. Use force if you have to! Jo, you stay here. (He rushes off.) BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE-STEWART: Sir Reginald, please? SIR REGINALD STYLES: No, I will not permit it! [SCENE_BREAK] 27: INT. AUDERLY HOUSE. CELLAR (The DOCTOR runs down the steps into the cellar. SHURA is quickly on his feet with his blaster trained on the DOCTOR.) DOCTOR: Shura! SHURA: (Shouts.) Get out of here unless you want to die too! I must kill Styles to prevent the war! DOCTOR: Shura, listen to me. Styles and all the delegates are already leaving this house. You detonate that bomb and you'll be sacrificing yourself for nothing. [SCENE_BREAK] 28: EXT. TUNNEL AREA (The battle next to the canal shows no signs of abating. Having to shout over the sounds of the gunfire, BENTON calls back to base.) SERGEANT BENTON: (Shouts, into radio.) Benton calling UNIT HQ, Benton calling UNIT HQ - we just can't hold them, sir! [SCENE_BREAK] 29: INT. AUDERLY HOUSE. HALLWAY (The call is received by CAPTAIN YATES as, behind him, SIR REGINALD stubbornly stands his ground. The sounds of the battle are reaching them.) CAPTAIN YATES: (Into radio.) Look, Benton, keep them back as long as you can. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE-STEWART: Sir Reginald, this house is under attack by a hostile force. You will please consider yourself under my orders. SIR REGINALD STYLES: Brigadier, I warn you... BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE-STEWART: (Shouts.) Now be quiet, sir! (SIR REGINALD seems lost for words.) BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE-STEWART: Captain Yates? CAPTAIN YATES: Sir? BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE-STEWART: Get Sir Reginald and all the delegates away from this area at once. Use the front exit. (He stalks off, shouting at a UNIT soldier to follow him. YATES gestures to STYLES to come with him.) SIR REGINALD STYLES: I absolutely refuse! CAPTAIN YATES: Sir Reginald, please? SIR REGINALD STYLES: But my papers, the documents... (STYLES' aide gestures to the briefcase he is carrying.) STYLES' AIDE: They're all here, sir. SIR REGINALD STYLES: Well, I suppose I shall have to agree - but under protest! CAPTAIN YATES: This way, Sir Reginald. (YATES hurries him away. JO, left behind, goes into the study.) [SCENE_BREAK] 30: EXT. AUDERLY HOUSE GROUNDS (The invading army of DALEKS and OGRONS have broken through the troops at the canal bank and have made their way into the grounds of the house. The UNIT troops are firing but retreating all the time. The troops fire a shell from a portable launcher but it explodes uselessly in front of the DALEKS, not harming them. Further shots do down an OGRON but overall the twentieth century troops are no match for the invaders.) [SCENE_BREAK] 31: EXT. AUDERLY HOUSE (At the front of the house, STYLES, MISS PAGET and the other delegates get into their limousines and drive off. At the rear of the house, dead UNIT troops litter the grounds as the invaders approach the terrace. As the CHIEFDALEK moves round the edge of the house, another DALEK pushes open a French window and enters the building.) [SCENE_BREAK] 32: INT. AUDERLY HOUSE. CELLAR (JO runs down into the cellar. SHURA still has his gun trained on the DOCTOR.) JO: Doctor! The Daleks - they're coming into the house! SHURA: Daleks? You're lying! DOCTOR: No, she's not. They've come back to make sure that their version of history isn't changed. (To JO.) Is everybody out of the house? JO: Yes, everyone but us. SHURA: Get out of here. Let them come in! Leave them to me! JO: No, no! You must come with us! SHURA: You don't understand! (He points at the bomb on the floor.) SHURA: That's Dalekanium - it's the only thing that's effective against the Daleks. DOCTOR: Well, couldn't we set a time fuse? SHURA: This stuff's too unstable. There just isn't time. This is something that I must do myself. Now get out! (The DOCTOR considers, then...) DOCTOR: (Quietly.) Very well. (He runs up the stairs. JO seems stuck to the spot.) SHURA: (Shouts.) Out! (She dashes after the DOCTOR.) [SCENE_BREAK] 33: EXT. AUDERLY HOUSE (The UNIT troops still hold the terrace at the front of the house. The BRIGADIER is on the radio as the DOCTOR runs out, followed by JO.) BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE-STEWART: (Into radio.) Greyhound to trap one, greyhound to trap one, do you read me? Over. Greyhound to... (The DOCTOR runs up to him.) DOCTOR: Tell your men to fall back. Let the Daleks into the house. BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE-STEWART: Doctor, are you sure that... DOCTOR: It may not make military sense but it's the only way. (He runs to a jeep.) BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE-STEWART: All right. (Into radio.) Brigadier to all units - let them pass! I say again, let them pass! Re-group on the main road, out! (As the jeep speeds off, the BRIGADIER nods to a soldier and they begin their retreat.) [SCENE_BREAK] 34: INT. AUDERLY HOUSE. HALLWAY (Two DALEKS glide into the hallway.) FIRST DALEK: Where are the delegates? SECOND DALEK: Where is the man, Styles? FIRST DALEK: They must be found and exterminated. [SCENE_BREAK] 35: INT. AUDERLY HOUSE. CELLAR (Down in the cellar, SHURA hears this.) SHURA: Oh no, not this time. This time it's going to be different! (He presses the detonator...) [SCENE_BREAK] 36: EXT. AUDERLY HOUSE (...and the house is rent by a huge explosion which decimates the interior leaving the bare walls of the structure filled with flame.) [SCENE_BREAK] 37: EXT. AUDERLY HOUSE GROUNDS (At a safe distance, the cloud of smoke that rises into the air is seen by the DOCTOR. A puzzled STYLES is stood a few yards behind him.) SIR REGINALD STYLES: Well, what happened? DOCTOR: (Smiles.) Your conference has been saved, Sir Reginald. Now it's up to you and your friends to make sure it's a success. You still have a choice. SIR REGINALD STYLES: Don't worry. We all know what will happen if we fail. DOCTOR: So do we. We've seen it happen, haven't we, Jo? (The future of her world saved, JO smiles back.)

Plan: A: the Daleks' base; Q: Where do the guerrillas infiltrate to rescue the Doctor and Jo? A: their own time; Q: Where do the guerrillas want the Doctor and Jo to return to? A: history; Q: What do the guerrillas want the Doctor and Jo to alter? A: the 20th century; Q: What century is about to be plunged into a Third World War? Summary: The guerrillas infiltrate the Daleks' base to rescue the Doctor and Jo and ask them to return to their own time and alter history before the 20th century is plunged into a Third World War.

CLINN'S HOUSE Quinn: Clay?...Clay! Clay: Hey you decided to join the land of the living. Quinn: Yeah you just...you weren't in bed and I got scared. I thought it happened again. Clay: Oh...I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you it's just been a rough couple of weeks so I thought I'd surprise you with my famous "Clay's Deluxe Breakfast in Bed" Quinn: I didn't know you had a famous breakfast. Clay: Yeah it's not really famous yet...extensive bragging on your end was part of the plan...Hey I even left out the crossword puzzle for you and a chewed up kind of awesome kind of gross pen. Quinn: You're kind of awesome and kind of gross...way more awesome than gross. Clay: Get back to bed Quinn: I'd rather watch you in action. KAREN'S CAFE Jamie: Table one needs an iced mocha and a hot tea, table five toasted bagel and the ACLU wants to know why you're violating child labor laws. Haley: Yeah very funny...since when did we start numbering tables? Jamie : Since an hour, this way too busy not too ... Haley (on the phone) : Hi it's Halley I'm wondering where you are... You what ? No you can't do that ! I need to... Well to hech with you too ! ... Jamie : (to customers) : She's just kidding folks, coffe's on the house this morning Haley : Well our no -show chef just quit... Jamie : Chef Jeff ? It's too bad I'd like to say Chef Jeff, Chef Jeff, Chef Jeff... Jamie : Oh maybe there is something to do with that (he gave to her an advertising) She goes looking at the window and see "Only gourmet cafe » Haley: No!...First gour...our food is gourmet!...right? Jamie: Ohh Yeah BRULIAN'S HOUSE Brooke: GOOOAL! Victoria: Putt putt skills don't translate out to a real golf course Brooke: Ohh...whatever im totally bogeying down...Get it? Victoria: Yeah I get it don't expect your father to laugh though he takes golf very seriously and you want a birdie more then you want a bogey Brooke: I know...I just remember when I was a kid daddy spent every weekend playing golf with all those important business people. Victoria: Don't remind me. I spent 20 mind numbing years as that mans golf widow Brooke : Well now I'm get to hang out with him today, and play golf so what else do I need to know ? Victoria : Is that what you are wearing ? Brooke : What ? Victoria : Mmh... It's cute you'll be fine Brooke : What ?! Victoria : Honey, look I know you've made up your mind about going into business with your father, All I asked is that you be careful okay ? I love you and I don't want to see you get hurt, that's all Brooke : Really that's all ? Victoria : I'd prefer you ban him from picking up my grandsons but you can't have it all Brooke : Julian will be home after lunch to relieve you, he's working and then giving Jamie's class a tour of the sound stage. Victoria : Did he finally figure out something to with that dreadful warehouse ? You know... people they're talking. Brooke : Bye Mother AT THE SOUND STAGE. Julian on the phone (for business) : We have state of the art facilities and a great area, Tree Hill has a historic downtown, the beach, great locations, you name it ! Did I mention the taxe incentive ?... Sure I understand, Okay well keep us in mind for future projects! Thanks again ! (He makes another phone calls) KARENS CAFE Haley: Chase!...sorry im having a really crappy morning...what can I get you? Chase: I don't know. I haven't eaten in days. I haven't really slept either. Haley: Alex? (Chase nods) Haley: I'm really sorry I know you liked her a lot Chase: Yeah well I'll be sure to thank Chris Keller next time I see him Haley: Trust me I know Chris Keller is not good for relationships...and chit chatting on the job is bad for business. You know um...You really should try and eat something. Try not to think about Alex and definitely put the thought of Chris Keller out of your mind. Chuck: Chuck Scolnik is starving! RED BEDROOMS RECCORD A young lady come Chris is reading a magazine. Young lady : Excuse me I'm here to interview for the internship Chris : Wrong office(She's leaving) Chris (stop the reading of his magazine and stares at her) :Wait, how much is this internship paying ? Young lady: Nothing it's an internship so I work for free. Chris : Wait you showed up like that which is very sexy by the way, and you work for free ?! And what exactly do you do ? Young lady : Whatever they told me to do Chris : Really? (Chris give a talk with some women to work in the studios if the women is attractive, he hires her if not he get rid of her) CLINN'S HOUSE Clay à Quinn : Hey can you get that ? (She pick it up it's a message from the pharmacy saying that he have two days for pick up the prescription) Clay Who was it ? Quinn : Wrong number, That reminds me did you pick up your prescription last week ? Clay : Mmmh Quinn : So you've been taking your pills every day, and they seems like they're working ? Clay : I'm still here right ? KARENS CAFE Quinn: Haley he basically lied to my face...he agreed the prescription was working but he never even picked it up! Haley: That just sounds like a misunderstanding. There's got to be a good explanation Chris: Or maybe he's cheating on you. What! Im just saying if I had a dime for every time I woke up on a mary-go-round or in a park I'd be rich. Do you know what I was doing every time right before I woke up in those places? Some random chick! Chris (à Quinn): I don't think we've met...Chris Keller Quinn: Chris Keller...Quinn James Chris: Well, well Haley's sister well its always been a fantasy Haley: Don't shake his hand you don't know where its been Chris: Come on we know where this hand has been...but what we don't know is what your boyfriends been up to Haley: Quinn listen to me you know that Clay loves you Chris : You should GPS his phone...find out exactly where he's been sneaking off to...that's what Chris Keller would do. If you need a shoulder to cry on or whatever just some revenge s*x...I'm your guy MOUTH & MILLIE'S HOUSE Mouth :Hey just reminding you we have a that chef's tasting today Millie : Another tasting? That's every night this week Mouth: Well the audience love that segment. Ugh Millie : What's wrong? Mouth :The stupid dry cleaner shrunk another shirt ! What is that three now ?We should do an expose on the dry cleaner, Someone need to put a stop to this ! KARENS CAFE Haley: Oh thank god you're here our chef just quit well he got poached actually and I really need you to grab an apron! Brooke: I can't I have a golf date with my dad I just came to get a muffin and a coffee...I'm carbo-loading Haley: We are swamped Brooke: Ok I can help Haley: That means a lot thank you Brooke: Sure...I can make my own coffee...who are we kidding? I still don't know how to use that thing...would you mind...please!...you're so good at it! Chris: Well, well Chase: I told you not to tell Alex her music was crap Chris: Crappy Chase: So you send her on tour instead? What's your problem man? You know what it doesn't even matter your just a...not very nice person! Chuck: Contrary to popular opinion. He doesn't speak for the both of us. Chris: You got a good look kid. I bet the honeys love you Chuck: Uhh...totally AT THE SOUND STAGE. Ms. Lauren: Hey Julian...The field trip was casual for today right? Chuck: Hi Julia! Ha ha KAREN'S CAFE Chris: Who do I need to screw to get a burger around here?...Please let it be you. Haley: You ordered a burger? Chris: No originally I ordered a breakfast burrito Haley: We don't serve those after eleven Chris: You did an hour ago when I ordered it but seeing as its lunch time you can get me a burger (touching Haley's hand) Haley: Come with me! Chris: Lunchtime quickie nice!...Hey a few more minutes on your burgers folks....like seven minutes Haley: Put this on...you can cook right? Chris: Chris Keller can do it all baby AT THE GOLF COURSE Ted : We just finished come join us for lunch ! Brooke : « us » ? Ted : Potential investors, they're very excited to meet you ! Brooke : I don't understand you're already played golf ? Ted : Yes but this clubs are a nice touch Brookie Brooke : If you didn't want to play golf with me why am I here ? Ted : I warmed them up with a round of golf and you charm them with a fabulous lunch... (Brooke say hello to the investors she pretend to be happy but she's clearly disapointed ) AT THE TV SHOWS OF MOUTH & MILLIE Mouth: You know is it just me or are shirts being cut smaller these days Millie: It's called slim fit. People like their shirts tailored Mouth: Well slim fit or not my dry cleaner keeps shrinking my shirts. They have one job to do and that's clean my shirts not clean them and then shrink them. If I wanted to shrink them I'd have Millie wash them Millie: I don't think you should go there Mouth: Im just saying of your many talents laundry is definitely not one of them...You've been shrinking my shirts haven't you? You know it's ok; you'll feel better when you admit it go ahead Millie: No Marvin! Nobody been shrunk your shirts! Nobody added steps to the stairwell at home, and I AM CERTAIN that nobody made the buttons on your cell phone smaller!...Marvin your FAT!...FAT! FAT! FAT! Mouth: That was totally uncalled for! Especially coming from the Zero is Not a Size model! Millie: Well it's not a shape either! Unless you're a doughnut Mouth: Where is this coming from? Millie: From your waistline mostly! And a little from your ass! I'm sorry Marvin, but you've been criticizing the dry cleaner, and making crazy insinuations about all kind of things when the truth is you've gained weight. Marvin you need to acknowledge the fact that you have a weight problem. Mouth : Oh don't worry Millie you've made that quite clear to everyone AT THE SOUND STAGE. Julian :Ok so let's use our imagination and invent a movie together ! Chuck : With a dragon Madison : Or a princess Chuck : Yeah to sacrifice to the dragon Julian : Ok here we go now, I like it ! A dragon and a princess. Now we can't have those without a castle so we could built a castle right here. Chuck : It would be a pretty small castle Julian : Well it wouldn't look small on - screen thanks to Hollywood magic! Madison : Well wouldn't it just be cheaper if we fly to a real castle ? Julian : No because then you had have to deal with permits, visas... Chuck: My dad says they only make moves in Los Angeles and New York anyways Julian: Well its guys like your dad who are killing my business Julian: Ok...fine...fine truth is kids I spend most of my time calling people who hang up on me talking to assistants who won't even put me through to their bosses, just trying to find someone anyone to fill up this stage so I don't have to find a second job or sell one of my kids on the black market! Ms. Lauren: Ok who wants to go see the box factory next door! They sell boxes! Chuck: I wanted to see the dragon eat the princess KAREN'S CAFE Chris: Complements the chef!...seriously this is delicious! Haley: Thank you...If you're out here then who's...Dan? Dan: You look like you need a little help. Unless you'd rather I go Haley: I need a tuna melt on rye AT THE GOLF COURSE Brooke talks about her project with the investors AT THE SOUND STAGE. Julian: Hey you didn't want to go to the box factory? Jamie: Nah we were there last week. You know dad and Clay had a hard time with their agency at first Julian: Yeah I'm starting to think this is just one big bad idea Jamie: Come on your like the farmer guy in the middle of nowhere who decided to build a baseball field in his back yard everyone told him he was crazy but you know what he built it anyway all because he heard a voice that said "If you build it he will come"...and you know what? He came! In fact lots of people came. Julian: That's a pretty good story Jamie. Guess I just need to have a little faith huh? Jamie: Well the thing is that's actually a movie...you should probably know that if you wanna make it in show business AT THE GOLF COURSE Ted : I have to say you certainly have a way with people Brooke : Thanks dad Ted : You were a huge hit ! Well I should probably go back there and close the deal Brooke : Off course Ted : This day was perfect ! Brooke : Yeah (Brooke is disappointed) BRULIAN'S HOUSE Victoria: Well that was quick Brooke: Im seriously not in the mood Victoria Victoria: Let me guess he got some bimbo to impress some horny investors Brooke: Thanks mom. Where are the boys? Victoria: They're sleeping. I took Jude's temperature twice and he doesn't have a fever but he has a runny nose Brooke: You know I just wanted to spend the day with him and somehow even that was too much to ask. Victoria: Is this where I give you my sad face? Brooke: Oh please we both know you botoxed away all remnants of human emotion Victoria: Don't you take this out on me. I tried to show you who your father really is and if he'd been around more this would not be a surprise. Brooke: Point taken. I don't know I guess I just hoped... Victoria: What? That he could change? Brooke: You did. Victoria: Honey that is who the man is...ok...despite all of his promises he has never changed and he will never change. I guess we should give him credit for being consistent. I have to go. Brooke: You're leaving? Victoria: Back to New York Brooke: But...but why? Victoria: Well I can only take this town in small doses and as much as I'm going to miss the twins you have your father and your new business venture...and there's nothing left for me to do. AT THE SOUND STAGE. Julian: Don't hang up! Don't hang up! This is Julian Baker David Taylor: Hi Julian David Taylor. Im calling because it's my understanding that you may have some stage space available Julian: Yes that's true...I mean not might... I do its available David Taylor: We just received a late pick up for our television series and are interested in shooting in Tree Hill Julian: Well we can definitely accommodate a TV show here... I mean in fact it's actually the perfect spot for a TV production David Taylor: Well good I hope so...how soon can we see the space Julian: Uh let me see if I can move some things around (looks at empty calendar) uh yeah I can try and clear my schedule for the end of the day if that works for you David Taylor: Perfect...we'll arrange for a stop over this afternoon Julian: That sounds good...great...this afternoon...see you then YES! YES! AT THE TRIC'S Chase: Chris Keller you sing so bad its funny! Chris Keller you write jingles for money! Chris: Hey like I told you girlfriend...oh sorry ex-girlfriend...that song pays my rent...that's a lot more than a bartender makes Chase: Bar MANAGER! Chris: Look man I know you're pissed at me but you don't even know me. Im not a bad guy maybe if you stopped blaming me for getting dumped you'd see that Chase: How about I pretend to take your word for it and not get to know you Chris: Well...your loss. Chris Keller knows some real nice girls that just might cure what ails you' IN A CLUB Chris (to Chase) : You got to admit this helps a guy feels better MC: You know her from Seven Dreams from Tuesday...Please welcome to the stage...Alex Do Me! Chris: Alex Do Me!...That awesome! ....Alex Do Me! BRULIAN'S HOUSE Brooke : Perfect timing Julian : Tell me about it I just got off the phone with two TV producers from LA, They're interested in filming at the studios. Brooke : Really ? Julian : Yes, they're flying for Atlanta today and if they liked what they see we can close the deal tonight ! Brooke : How could they not, Boys your daddy is a genius. Julian : How did things goes with your father today, did you bogey down or what ? Brooke : Oh not exactly I think he was more interrested in showing me off to his friends Julian : I'm sorry baby Brooke : It's okay Brooke : Listen Jude got a bit of temperature, do you think you've time to drop Davis off at daycare on your way back to the stage ? Julian : Yes if I leave right now Brooke : You're my hero Julian Baker. Good luck today, I hope you don't have to giggle or shake your ass like I did ! Julian : Hey if it means they'll use the stage, I will do whatever it takes! AT KAREN'S CAFE Jamie: Hi mom! Haley: Hi honey! Jamie: Grandpa Dan! What are you doing here? Dan: Just helping your mom out...you wanna join? Costumer: Excuse me is that Dan Scott ? Haley: Yeah Client: How could you allow that man to work for you to be around your children? Haley: Excuse me? Customer: He's a murderer! Haley: I really don't think that's any of your business An other customer: Oh yes it is! Especially if he's cooking our food Dan: Haley it ok...I'll leave...I'll see you back at the house Haley: No...you should stay. If anyone here has a problem with this man cooking your food you're welcome to go someplace else. Customer: Well we will Haley: Alright then your food is on the house today...Now get out! IN A CLUB Chris: I asked her to move in I was so romantic and then just out of the blue she just leaves me...for her music Stripsteaseuse: Aww baby...Im so sorry that's terrible! MC: Next up on the main stage the Pony Express! Stripsteaseuse: Well sweet cheeks that's my cue this ones on the house Chris: Thank you Pony! Chase: You used my pain for a free lap dance Chris: Come on man it's a good story. You're not using it. Chase: Im glad you're enjoying yourself Im outta here Chris: No no no ok ok look look...I won't use your sad sack story to pick up strippers ok...Look you haven't asked my opinion and all BS aside; she would have left you sooner or later Chase: You don't know that...you don't even know Alex Chris: Actually I do and trust me it's in her DNA, Alex is an artist, some of us need constant validation and appreciation Chase: I gave her validation and appreciation all the time... 24/7 Chris: See! And she still left that's my point! No one person or town can fill the void. That girl is NEVER gonna settle down...trust me Chase: Like I said you don't know her Chris: I knew she'd take that tour AT KAREN'S CAFE Dan: Haley I just wanna say thanks Haley: Yeah well she was wrong you know you shouldn't have had to deal with that Dan: I did the crime Haley: Doesn't mean you have to get hammered for it all the time BRULIAN'S HOUSE Brooke: Hi...what are you doing here? Ted: Good news should never be shared over the phone...Baker Man officially has funding...actually full financial backing Brooke: But they haven't seen a single design Ted: Doesn't matter they want to work with the designer Brooke: That's great Ted: Well you don't seem very happy about it Brooke: No dad I'm thrilled that they want to invest in the line....thank you Ted: But you're upset with me Brooke: Well...I never get to see you and I showed up today thinking that you and I were going to spend a day on the golf course...Just the two of us Ted: That would have been nice Brooke: But do you mean that? Ted: Of course I do...I would love to spend time with you and my two handsome grandsons and we will I promise. I'll be back in town more often now thanks to Baker Man. But honey you came to me with a business proposal Brooke: I know that Ted: And with opportunities like this you need to strike while the iron is hot...that's what we did today, because of that we'll have our day on the golf course...just the two of us. For now I have a flight to catch back to LA and you have a clothing line to design. You handled yourself like a total pro today. Im so proud of you. IN A STORE Julian: Excuse me I'm looking for a nice scotch. I want something aged like twelve, fifteen years. Shop asistant: Any particular brand? Julian: Red label, blue label, black label...I don't know...what happed to six pack versus keg? CLINN'S HOUSE Clay: Hey...what's wrong? Quinn: I saw you. Clay: Saw what? What's the matter? Quinn: I saw you buying drugs Clay, you've been lying to me this entire time Clay: Lying to you? Quinn what are you talking about, I didn't buy any drugs. Quinn: Don't lie to my anymore! I was there! Clay: Maybe you saw something but it wasn't me. Quinn: There are pictures. I took pictures with my camera Clay: This is crazy...your acting crazy you realize that right?...What's wrong with you Quinn: What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you Clay? No wonder you didn't need to pick up your prescription, because you're not sick! You had other pills to pick up! Clay: It's not like it's a problem. Quinn: You fooled me! , you fooled me into feeling sorry for you and I stayed awake worried sick about you! How could you! Clay: Quinn wait! Quinn! AT MILLIE AND MOUTH'S WORK Mouth: This guy says he's faced this kind of discrimination his whole life and watching me endure it literally hurt his heart. Millie: Yeah... I'm sure it has nothing to do with the carton of Twinkies he eats everyday...Fine I was unprofessional and rude and for that I apologize Mouth: Now was that so hard? Thank you Millie: Marvin I am not finished. What you need to understand is that it came from a place of love, I am genuinely concerned for your health, and I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings but I am not going to sit here and watch you eat yourself to death. IN A CLUB Chase: I went to the ATM to get money for a taxi and I found this...It's her room key...she lived in a hotel...I should have known better. Chris: Who lives in hotels? People whose stay is temporary. You never had a chance my friend... (To bartender) two more! ...it had nothing to do with you though Chase: Just so you know I still don't like you Chris: I'll drink to that. IN THE BEACH IN FRONT OF CLINN'S HOUSE Clay (à Quinn): When I was recovering from the shooting I was taking those pills for the pain and the prescription ran out...I am so sorry...I was just so embarrassed about it...and I'm sorry AT KAREN'S CAFÉ Haley: Thanks again Dan I really don't think I could have made it through today without you Dan: I'm sure you would have found a way...Besides I enjoyed it...If you want me to come in tomorrow it's really no trouble Haley: No I don't think that's such a good idea...Dan it's not because of that lady or any of the other customers it's just...This is Karen's Café. IN THE STREET Julian: Hey baby Brooke: Hey is everything ok Julian: Yeah why? Brooke: Well the daycare called and said you never dropped Davis off. End of the episode

Plan: A: her tour; Q: What does Alex leave for? A: an intern; Q: What does Chris try to hire after Alex leaves? A: Chase; Q: Who does Chris try to cheer up? A: Haley; Q: Who runs into trouble at Karen's Cafe when her chef quits to work for a A: trouble; Q: What does Haley run into when her chef quits to work for a rival cafe? A: suspicion; Q: What does Clay arouse in Quinn that he is cheating on her? A: Millie accidentally; Q: Who humiliates Mouth on the air? A: Brooke; Q: Who tries to help her father secure funding for her clothing line? A: her new clothing line; Q: What does Brooke try to help her father secure funding for? A: his sound stage; Q: What does Julian get distracted by the prospect of a potential renter for? A: Davis; Q: What is Julian's son's name? A: the family car; Q: Where did Julian forget his son? A: Rihanna; Q: What other artist is featured in the episode? Summary: After Alex leaves for her tour, Chris looks to hire an intern and tries to cheer up Chase. Haley runs into trouble at Karen's Cafe when her chef quits to work for a rival cafe. Clay arouses suspicion in Quinn that he is cheating on her. Meanwhile, Millie accidentally humiliates Mouth on the air. Brooke tries to help her father secure funding for her new clothing line, and Julian gets distracted by the prospect of a potential renter for his sound stage, resulting in Julian forgetting his son, Davis, in the family car, to which the police and an ambulance have been alerted. This episode is named after a song by Eminem and Rihanna .

Title: "Secrets and Lies" (Part 1) 47th Episode of Roswell Production Code: 3ADA04 [SCENE_BREAK] [Joey and Bunny are sitting in his car on a mountain overlooking the city] Joey: Oh God, I love this town-- Looking down from here, it's like seeing the lights on a chritsmas tree! You know? It's magic. Bunny: Ahh. That's nice, joey. Joey: Yeah. [Bunny starts to light a cigarette] Joey: What'd i tell ya about smokin' in the car, huh? Bunny: Gimme a break! Joey: You gimme a break! I quit. I can't be around that stuff no more, so get out! Come on, go over there. Bunny: It's cold outside! Joey: I don't care! Go! Smoke over there. Bunny: Fine! Joey: Come on! Go ahead. Bunny: Shut up! Joey: Hey, those things are gonna kill you, you know. Bunny: No! You're gonna kill me! Joey: Yeah, right. Bunny: b*st*rd. Joey: Puff your brains out. Bunny: Oh, shut up. You make me sick. Come on! (The lighter won't work) [There is a bright flash of light, and Bunny sees a glowing man walking away- She runs back to the car, and sees Joey's burned body on the front seat. [Police siren- the next day the scene is covered by police] Cop 1: so...How's a guy burn to death in his car without leaving behind so much as a scorch mark? A female witness said she saw an otherworldly figure. Cop 2: Any evidence of this guy? Cop 1: No footprints. No tire tracks. Nothin'. Cop 1: So what do you think it was... Lightning strike or spontaneous human combustion? Cop 2: The registration has the guy as joseph ferrini, jr. Cop 1: Anything else? Cop 2: Got some repair bills-the tire gauge... this might be something Looks like a license plate number. N.M. New mexico? Cop 1: Let's run it. [Knock on door] Deputy: max evans? Max: Is something wrong? Deputy: Deputy brown- Roswell Sheriff's Department. I need to ask you a few questions about a homicide investigation. Deputy: you recognize this man? Max: No. Deputy: You sure? Max: Yeah. Who is he? Deputy: His name is joey ferrini, and his death is being investigated as a possible homicide. Your licence plate number turned up in his glove compartment in los angeles. You want to tell me why? Max: I don't know. I mean, I've only had the car for a couple of months. Maybe this has something to do with the previous owner. Deputy: Yeah. Maybe. Since this isn't officially a homicide case yet, I can't take you in. Of course the fact that you were arrested for armed robbery in Utah a few weeks ago does tempt me. Max: Those charges were dropped. Deputy: Yeah, I know. Ha ha. Must be nice having a daddy who's a lawyer, huh? Just wanted you to know that i know. And I'll be watching you. Max: Great. This is all I need. Joey: (In Michael's memory) I got a message for your friend max. Stop looking. Michael: Max, i know the dead guy. [Scene switches to Max and Liz talking] Liz: So he's the same guy that wanted us to stop looking for your ship. Max: The deputy told me that he died under mysterious circumstances. The police are looking into it as a freak lightning strike, but... Liz: But you think that an alien killed him. Max: But not just an alien. A shapeshifting alien. Nasedo killed the exact same way. Liz: Nasedo's dead. Max: There were 2 shapeshifters who were sent down with us on our ship before it crashed. Yeah, nasedo's dead. I saw that with my own eyes. But...I don't know. What about the other one? Maybe...Maybe he's still out there. Maybe he's the one who sent fellini to utah to warn us off, and maybe he's the one who killed him. Liz: How do you know that he's not gonna try and kill you, too? Max: Liz... I just keep on having these visions of my son. I know this is risky, and I know that I don't have much to go on, but I... Liz: You have to contact your son, and the shapeshifter's the only one who might know how. So where do we start? Max: L.A. Liz: L.A. Right. Right. Let's go. Max: Liz. This thing with your dad... Liz: That's not the point. Max: I can do this on my own. Liz: Well, at least i've been to l.A. Max: I'm not sure disneyland counts as L.A. Look, this could be dangerous. This time I think it would be better if i went alone. Liz: So what am i supposed to do... Just go to class? Pretend like everything's fine? Max: You'll be in on every step along the way. I promise. Liz: I'll miss you. Max: Not like i'll miss you. [In the classroom] Teacher: And our last team will be miss parker and mr. Valenti. Miss parker? What do you say to that? Kyle: Say yes. Liz: Yes. I say yes. Teacher: Good. I'm sure you and mr. Valenti will make a great team. Now let's talk about equipment. Kyle: Thanks, partner. Liz: Partner what? Teacher: The job of the investigative journalist is to tell... The truth... No matter how uncomfortable or unpleasant that may be. So your assignment this week is to take these cameras, go out into the world, and try to find the truth and capture it on film, or in this case, on tape. [Jim Valenti comes to the door, and waves for Kyle to come over] Jim: I, uh... Kyle: What's goin' on? Jim: I got a phone call from the doctor at the nursing home this morning. There's been another incident with your grandfather. I need you to go over there and deal with this. Kyle: Dad-- Jim: kyle... I need you to do this. Liz: >What's going on? [Jesse is giving Isabel her engagement ring] Isabel: Oh, my god, jesse, I'M...I'M... Jesse: Speechless. Isabel: Yeah. But jesse, it's... Jesse: Beautiful? I know. Its 2 months' salary. Isabel: It's gorgeous, but I can'T. Jesse: What--believe it? Isabel: Wear it. Jesse: The guy said champagne color was in this year. Isabel: It's perfect. The ring is perfect. You're perfect. But if i wear it, it just announces to the world that we're engaged. Jesse: Which we are. Isabel: Right. But the world doesn't know that yet. Jesse: Oh, so you still haven't figured out how to tell your parents. Isabel: Well, it's complicated. Jesse: Max moved out, and they're freaked about it. Isabel: Right. And they don't know that we're dating. Isabel: Is that guy watching us? Jesse: Isabel, don't try to avoid the subject. Isabel: Right. You know what? You know what i'm gonna do? I'm gonna start with my mom, ok? I'll talk to her tonight. I promise. It's perfect. [Liz and Kyle are in the nursing home] Kyle: Oh, god. This should only take a few minutes. Usually he just like... Spills his soup or cereal or something-- excuse me-- Kyle: and I have to, like, clean it up, and that's it. After that, we can go home. Liz: Isn't this something that your father should be doing himself? [Sighs] Kyle: yeah, should be, but he won't. He hasn't come to visit him in over a year. Liz: Well, how come? Kyle: I don't know. Might have something to do with the fact that my grandfather lost his job searching for aliens and ruined my dad's life. Liz: But there are aliens. Your grandfather was right, and your father knows that. Kyle: Liz, if you're going to start to point out the ironies in my family, I warn you: They never stop. [Sighs] Liz: You know... This might be the perfect place to find something for class. When you think of all the stories that are just... Locked up here, you know? The true stories of heartache, love and loss, and the pain. Kyle: Liz. Liz. There are no stories here that i'm even remotely interested in. Liz: You sure about that? [Kyle's grandfather is sitting staring into space. Food and clothes are thrown all around the room.] Liz: Do you think we should start cleaning this up? Kyle: Now? We just found our story. We're about to blow the doors off this place. Liz: We are? Kyle: Yep. Show the folks at home the outrageous conditions the elderly are supposed to live in. Liz: Didn't your grandfather make this mess himself? Kyle: Look at these ceiling tiles. It's all water damaged-- it's unbelievable. How do they expect anybody to live like this? Liz: Is he always like this? Kyle: Pretty much. Liz: You don't ever talk to him? Kyle: Sure, yeah. It's pretty much a one-way conversation. Liz: Hi, mr. Valenti. Hi. I'm liz parker. I'm a friend of your grandson'S. [Laughs] and your son, actually. Oh. Would you like me to read to you? My grandfather always used to like that. Liz: "Mysterious objects streak across skies in texas. "Several eye witness reports out of the lone star state confirm--" [Grandpa Valenti grabs Liz's arm] Grandpa Valenti: they are among us! They are among us! [Scene switches to Max driving in LA] [cell phone rings] Max: hello? Liz: Hey, so how's l.A.? Max: Big. [Honk honk] Man: shut up and learn how to drive! Max: And very friendly. Liz: Yeah. It sounds like it. Uh, look, I have a theory about how to track down the shapeshifter. Max: Right. Liz: Ok. No matter how many times nasedo changed his appearance, he always returned to one particular shape. Max: Ed harding. Liz: Yeah. Liz: Now, why is that? He could have been anyone. Max: So why keep going back to a middle-aged bald man? Liz: Exactly. What if the shapeshifters can change their appearance, but it's only temporary. Eventually they have to return to their base form. Max: Makes sense. Liz: Come on, would i steer you wrong? Max: I don't suppose you could steer me towards the hollywood cemetery. Liz: Yeah. I can't help you there, but good luck with that. Max: Thanks. Liz: Bye. [Scene switches to a funeral- Max walks up to the crowd.] Minister: "So great is his mercy "towards them that fear him. "As far as the east is from the west, "so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. "Like as a father pityeth his children, "so the lord pityeth them that fear him. "For he knoweth our frame; "he remembereth that we are dust. "As for man, his days are as grass. As a flower..." Agent: Who are you? Friend or family? Max: I'm a cousin. Agent: Funny, joey never told me he had any cousins, and, um... Joey told me everything. Max: He did? Agent: Oh, yeah. Yeah. We were close, joey and me. Like brothers. No secrets between us. And now I find out he had this whole family he never even told me about? Bunny: Shh! Max: I'm only a... A distant cousin. Agent: Do you have representation? Agent. Do you have an agent? Bunny: Please! [Whispers] Agent: ok! We'll talk after. [The agent hands Max his card] Minister: "Grant this, "we beseech thee, o merciful father, through jesus christ..." [Kyle and Liz are working with the camera at Kyle's house] Kyle: You're supposed to say action. Liz: Kyle, just start. [Sighs] Liz: fine. Action. Kyle: In my hand, I hold a billing statement for the sunrise retirement facility, my grandfather's nursing home. The exorbitant cost, over $1,200 a month... Outrageous, considering the sub-standard care he's receiving-- Jim: hey, guys. Filming something? Kyle: Cut! Dad, you just ruined the shot. You ruined the shot. Jim: Just grabbin' a beer. Kyle: How was your gig? Jim: It was great. Kit shickers are really comin' together. Jim: Hey, um... Listen, did you take care of that little thing we talked about? Kyle: Yeah. Jim: Good. Liz: That's it? Ask him about what your grandfather said. Kyle: He's not gonna talk about it. Liz: Well, let's find out. Kyle: Liz-- [Liz walks into the living room, and begins filming Jim] Jim: hey. Am I supposed to smile or wave or something? Liz: Uh, well, actually, it's for a school project. Our assignment's to get the truth about something. Jim: Hey, if you want, you can come down and film the band. We're musicians. Musicians are always searching for the truth. Liz: Well, actually, I was a little bit more interested in you and your father. Jim: Well... That's not really a subject that, uh... Kyle: How come you haven't gone to see him for over a year? Jim: It hasn't been that long. Kyle: Oh, yes, it has. September 24, 2000. Grandpa has it marked on his calendar. Jim: Turn that thing off. Turn that off. Who the hell did that? It wasn't him-- someone at the nursing home interfering in our-- Kyle: I marked it down, ok? Jim: Why? Kyle: Because it makes him happy. Jim: Kyle, I don't think he even knows who we are anymore. Liz: He said something to me today. Jim: He spoke to you? Liz: Actually, he grabbed me, and then he said something. Jim: What? Liz: They are among us. Do you have any idea what that would-- Jim: they are among us. They are among us is a "b" movie that was shot here in roswell back in the fifties. It's just a painful memory rattling around in an old man's brain. Liz: Why is that a painful memory? Jim: The leading lady in the film was killed during the production. My father was the sheriff at the time, so he headed up the investigation. Jim: I told you about all this. Kyle: No. You never talk about grandpa. Jim: Anyway...My father was convinced that she was killed by an alien. But she wasn't. She died of A... A freak lightning strike. [Isabel is on the phone] Isabel: Yes, jesse. I'm gonna tell her. Right. Right. I know. Simple, clear, and fearless. Yeah. Ok, I gotta go. Wish me luck. Ok. Bye. Mrs. Evans: Who was that? Isabel: It was maria. Mom, i need to talk to you. Mrs. Evans: It was max, wasn't it? Isabel: Max? No-- Mrs. Evans: of course it was, isabel. I always know when you're lying. That wasn't maria, and you know it. Isabel: You're right. It wasn't maria. It was-- mom, i need to-- Mrs. Evans: so, I mean, does max need money or-- or what? Isabel: Mom. It wasn't max, ok? It wasn't max. I swear. Mrs. Evans: Oh. Well, I--i just thought that, you know, after being gone from home for 3 weeks that he might just want to check in once in a while. Don't you think? Isabel: Mom-- Mrs. Evans: I mean, you talk to him, right? Isabel: Sure. Mrs. Evans: Does he need money? Isabel: I don't think so. Mrs. Evans: Well, do me a favor, will you? [Mrs. Evans hands money to Isabel] Mrs. Evans: Just in case. [Max returns to his car and he finds a note that says Go Home Max!- As Max is driving, his cell phone rings.] Isabel: Max, it's me. Max: Hey. Isabel: Hey, when are you coming home? You're ripping out your mother's heart. Max: I don't know yet. Isabel: For the record, michael and I disapprove of you wandering around L.A. Looking for shapeshifters. You know, you could expose us or even get yourself killed. Have you thought of that? Max: You know how important this is to me. Isabel: I know. I know, finding your son. I understand that. But...Do you even have a plan, max? Max: Yes, i have a plan. Well, sort of a plan. Max: I'm getting an agent. Isabel: What? [Max is having lunch with the agent he met at the funeral] Agent: Hit man, thug, convict, tough guy. Joey ferrini could play 'em all. Max: So ferrini wasn't really a hit man? Agent: Oh, well-- not recently. Max: So what was joey in prison for? Agent: You know, you really don't know very much about your cousin. Max: He was my second cousin. Twice removed. Agent: Assault. He was big on assault. Loved assaulting people. Which was why he's so convincing on screen. Max: Uh, joey called me a couple of weeks ago from utah. Agent: Yeah? Max: Do you know what he was doing there? Agent: You know, I didn't book that job. I gotta be straight with you, and I don't mean to disrespect the dead, but your cousin joey was not a great actor. Agent: Now, you, on the other hand, you, my friend, you are on a completely different path. Let's talk tom cruise. Let's talk keanu reeves. Max: I'm not an actor. Agent: What, and keanu reeves is? [Silent grimace] all you need is exposure. Max: That's the last thing i need. Agent: Oh, ho! Look, look! Look, look, look! Max: Who's that? Agent: Who's that? What, are you from kansas? Of course. That's why i love you! Agent: That is kal langley. He is just the biggest, the most powerful producer in this whole town. Now you watch as i plant your name in his brain. [Max looks up Joey's address in the agents PDA.] [SCENE_BREAK] [The scene switches to Max entering Joey's apartment. His cell phone rings] Max: hello? Liz: I think I found something. I think the shapeshifter killed someone here in roswell in 1959. Max: What do you mean? Liz: You're chasing a serial killer, max. Look, an actress was killed on a movie location. The coroner said that she died of a freak lightning strike? Max: Coincidence? Liz: In roswell? There are no coincidences. Valenti's dad was sheriff at the time, and he knew that it was alien related, but nobody believed him. Max: Did he have any suspects? Liz: I don't know, but I'll find out. Max: Thanks, liz. Thank you for helping me. Liz: Yeah, well, you know, the sooner you find this guy, the sooner you come home. Look, my dad's coming. I gotta go. Max: Bye. Liz: Bye. [Max is watching a tape of him researshing for Utah] Bunny: Action. Joey: I got a message... For your, uh, friend max. Stop...Lookin'. Bunny: The person i work-- Joey: the person i work for will do whatever is necessary. Bunny: And then i'm supposed to shoot. Joey: And then i'm supposed to shoot. Bunny: Go from the top. Start over. Do it over. [Ejects tape] Max: it was all an act. [Joey's computer comes on and says "You've got mail. You've got mail... Max."] [The screen says "I warned you Max, stay away"- Bunny walks in on Max with a gun drawn] Bunny: What the hell are you doin' here? you've got about 3 seconds to tell me what's going on! Max: Just relax. Take it easy. Bunny: Talk! Max: I'm trying to figure out who killed joey ferrini. Bunny: The cops said he was hit by lightning. Max: Well, the cops are wrong. He was murdered. You know i'm right, don't you? Bunny: I tried telling them but they wouldn't believe me. They thought i was crazy. Max: You're not crazy. Bunny: I know joey was no angel, but I cared about him. Someone was out there that night. The cops said there were no footprints, but I saw someone. Max: You were there when it happened? Can you show me? [Max and Bunny arrive at the lookout point] Bunny: This is the place. I, uh... I turned my back to light a cigarette, and then there was this... It was blinding. And then joey was dead. Max: You said you saw someone. Bunny: Yeah, yeah, there was this man- it was weird- it was like...He was glowing. Max: And what did he look like? Bunny: I didn't really get a good look... Max: Hair color..clothes.. anything? Bunny: I'm sorry you know, He went off that way, and just seemed to disappear. Max: I saw that video of Joey rehearsing for his role up in Utah. Max: Do you have any idea who...Cast him? Bunny: Naw. I--I don't know. He wouldn't tell me. When he got back, he started acting really crazy. Talking about aliens and spaceships. I told him he was losin' it, so he stopped talkin' to me about it. He just said that he got the goods on someone... Someone big, and that it was gonna make him a rich man. That's it, isn't it? That's what killed him. What is it? What happened in utah? Max: We should get going. Bunny: At least tell me, am i in danger? Max: Come on, let's go. [Kyle and Liz are in the diner. They have a copy of the tape] Liz: I can't believe this movie was ever released. Kyle: I know. 87 minutes never seemed so long. [An elderly woman enters the diner] Mrs. Covendale: Are you liz? Liz: Oh, yes! Ms. Covendall, hi. Nice to meet you. This is kyle valenti. Mrs. Covendale: Oh, you look so much like your grandfather. Kyle: Yeah, well... Genes, you know? Mrs. Covendale: I was just so excited to get your call. How did you find me? Liz: We got your name off one of those film history websites. Kyle: Right here. It said that you did hair and makeup on they are among us. Mrs. Covendale: Are you guys fans of the movie? Kyle: Oh, just loved it. Liz: It's my favorite. Mrs. Covendale: It was a very exciting time. Roswell went totally hollywood. Liz: Well, we were wondering if you could tell us anything about the actress that got killed on the movie. Mrs. Covendale: Such a shame, what happened. Hit by lightning on a clear day. She was a gorgeous girl, a real hottie. That is what you call them now, isn't it? Kyle: Yeah. I guess. Mrs. Covendale: Well, anyway, rumor had it that this little hottie got caught up in some kind of love triangle with the lead actor and the clapper loader. Kyle: My--my, um... My grandpa always believed that she was murdered. Mrs. Covendale: Yes! Poor thing. He caused quite a stir with that whole alien business. Liz: Do you remember if he had any suspects, anyone he might have accused of being an alien? Mrs. Covendale: Sure! He thought it was the clapper loader. [Scene switches to Max and Bunny in the car. Max is talking to Liz on his cell phone] Max: What's a clapper loader? Bunny: Oh! He's the guy who bangs the thing and goes, "take one, take two." Max: Oh. Liz: Who are you with? Max: Uh... A friend. I'm just taking her back to her place. Liz: Her place? Max: I mean, I'm just dropping her off. She's helping me. We're getting off the subject. Liz: Ok, uh... Well, here's the theory. If the clapper loader is the shapeshifter, then i'm thinking that maybe that's his base form. Max: The body he always goes back to. Liz: Right. Liz: And if that's true, maybe if we can find out what this clapper loader looked like in 1959... Max: He might still look like that today. Liz: Exactly. Max: Ok. So how do we find out what this guy looked like? Liz: Well, he'll be on all the film. He's not in the actual movie, but he'll be in all the dailies. Max: What are dailies? Bunny: Dailies? Dailies are all the footage they shoot in one day. You know, like outtakes, bloopers, alternate angles. That stuff. Max: Thanks. Liz: I'm really glad that she's so helpful. Max: Ahem. So how do we get ahold of 50-year-old dailies? Liz: Well, I did some research, and I found out that the rights to they are among us were eventually sold to paramount pictures, so all of their dailies should be in their film vaults. Max: God, i love you. Liz: Well, did she hear that? Max: Definitely. Liz: Good. Call me when you find a way out to the paramount lot. Alone. [Max drops Bunny off at her place] Bunny: I, uh... Don't suppose you wanna... Come up. You know. Max: Uh...Thanks, but... Bunny: Eh! It was worth a shot. Max: Forget about all this. Forget about joey and utah and the whole thing. It's important. Your life depends on it. Bunny: And what about you? Should i forget about you? Max: Especially me i don't want you ending up like joey. Bunny: Ok. I hope that girl oh the phone knows how lucky she is. [Bunny kisses Max on the cheek] Bunny: Bye. [Max meets the agent] Max: I wanna be an actor. Agent: I knew it. Didn't i know it? I absolutely knew it! First thing we gotta do is get you some head shots. Max: I don't have time for head shots. I need an audition. Agent: Hello, steven! Hello, martin, hello, francis. I got a new kid for ya. He's got ambition. He's got moxie. Hey, wait a minute. Did I just say moxie? Whoa! I haven't heard that expression in a long time! That could be the very next catch phrase. I should write that down. [Max picks up a paper from the Agent's desk.] Max: I want this audition. This one at paramount. Agent: What? A guest shot on enterprise? Are you crazy? This is a big part. This is a major network show. It's a franchise. It's top of the food chain, kid. Max: It says it's just a one-day role. Agent: You're a trekkie, aren't ya? Oh, I knew it. I knew it. And as it so happens, I happen to have an in with the director on that particular episode. Max: Good. Because I need to get on that lot today. Agent: Ooh, my! We're gonna be high maintenance, aren't we? But that's all right. 'Cause i'm gonna make you a big star. [Jesse and Isabel are talking] Isabel: I don't know. My mom hasn't been looking very well lately. She might be coming down with something. This might not be the right time. Jesse: Look, it's going to be fine, ok? You can do this. Isabel: I can? Jesse: Yes, of course you can. Just go in there and tell them. Isabel: Ok. All right. Jesse: Just go in and tell them. And remember, this is good news. Isabel: Right. Good news. Good news. Jesse: That's right. Isabel: Ok. [Isabel is having dinner with her parents] Mrs. Evans: Oh, I used to love halloween when you were a little girl. Mr. Evans: Remember the year you dressed up as madonna? Mrs. Evans: Oh, and max was adam ant. Remember he dragged you all over town looking for that one perfect shirt he had to have. Mr. Evans: Yeah. Yeah. Mr. Evans: And the next year was the freddy krueger glove that he just had to have. Mr. Evans: Have you heard from-- Mrs. Evans: philip. Isabel: Ok, look. There's something I need to tell you both-- Mrs. Evans: about max? Isabel: No. Not about max. It's about me. Ha ha. It's something i've been trying to say for days, but there's just been this weight over everything, and I thought maybe it wasn't the right time, you know, but then i thought, "it is the right time," because it is really good news. It's really, really... Really good news, and if there's anything that this family needs at this moment in time, it's a little joy, right? A little happiness. So, um... Mrs. Evans: This doesn't sound like reallly good news, Isabel: really it's...It'S... Isabel: Mom...Dad...I'm getting married to Jesse from your office, you know?... Isabel: ok, wow! Ha ha. I feel better. So...What should we eat? [Inhales] Liz: so your grandfather was right. The actress was killed by an alien. Kyle: Yep. Liz: That's it? Tell him what we found out! Liz: Kyle, your grandfather was right. You have to tell your father. Kyle: I don't think so. Liz: Kyle, your family is a damn nightmare. Somebody has to break the cycle of silence. Kyle: Yeah, someone should. Liz: Yeah, someone should. Kyle: Me? Why me? Why should i break the silence? Liz: Who cares who breaks it? Just do it! Kyle: Let me think about it. Liz: No, no thinking. Just doing. Liz: Mr. Valenti? Mr. Valenti, could you come in here please? Kyle: Liz, you have no right to intrude on my dysfunctional-- Kyle: hey, dad. Liz: Hi, mr. Valenti. Kyle here has something he'd like to talk to you about. Jim: Oh, yeah? What's that? Liz: I have to go. Have a really nice talk. Jim: Kyle? Kyle: It's nothin', nothin'. Jim: 'K. Kyle: Dad? Jim: Hmm? Kyle: I'd really hate for what's going on between you and grandpa to happen to us. [Scene swithces to Jim visiting his father] Jim: Good lookin' son of a gun, weren't ya? I guess it runs in the family. [Sighs] Jim: hey, uh... Dad, i gotta take off, all right? I got some stuff to do at home, so i'll see ya in a few days or something, and I'll... I'll see ya. [Grandpa Valenti stands up, and points to the date on the calendar] Jim: Hey. Come here. Come here. All right. Come on. Come on. I got ya. I got ya. Come on. Here we go. I know. It's all right. Listen, I'll get a pen, all right? And we'll, uh... And we'll mark today on your calendar... All right? then when I come back tomorrow, we can mark... We can mark that day, too. [Scene switches to Max's audition at Paramount> Jonathan Frakes: Next! Max: Hey, mr. Frakes. Max evans. From roswell. Jonathan Frakes: Oh. Nice to see you. Max: the UFO convention, I Helped upgrade your hotel room. Jonathan Frakes: That's right. Welcome to l.A. This is john billingsley from enterprise. John Billingsley: How you doing? Max: Hey. Jonathan Frakes: That's ok. I'll get the door. Whenever you're ready, go ahead. It's all yours. John Billingsley: I'm dr. Phlox of the starship enterprise. Max: I am..."Korgan. "My people are called the bantoo. [Speaking quickly] we claim this region of space." John Billingsley: The enterprise is in a desperate situation. Rigellian fever has swept through the ship, and we urgently need a source of ryetallin. Max: "You come to steal from us?" John Billingsley: No. Max: "If you do not leave our space immediately, "we will have no choice but to destroy your ship." Jonathan Frakes: One minute. Hold on. This character korgan is an alien. He's an alien from another planet. And right now, I'm not feeling really like... Like you're an alien. Do you know what i mean? Do you wanna give it another shot? Just from the top. Whenever you're ready. [Same delivery] Max: "i am...Korgan. My people are the bantoo." Jonathan Frakes: Much better. Thank you very much, max. Take care. [Max meets his agent in the lot] [Snickers] Agent: gimme a call. We could set up an audition. I'm one of the few people in this town that will still see raw talent. You're a little too raw. I'm sorry. It's a tough business. Wait--my guy. My guy! Hey, you got it! You got it! Max: I did? Agent: Oh, I'm sure you got it. Max: Really. Agent: Absolutely. And if not, there's still buffy. Max: You know, I'd like to look around for a while. My first time on a movie lot and all. Agent: Still the wide-eyed innocent, huh? Don't lose that. We can milk that naivete for all its worth. Agent: Go ahead. Knock yourself out. I got people on the lot i should go hassle anyway. Max: Right Agent: Oh--cart! Yo! [Max opens the film valut. He is talking to Liz on the cell phone] Liz: Max, he's threatened you twice already. The shapeshifter obviously knows you're there and wants you out of l.A. Max: Liz, i'm close. I'm in the vault now. Liz: Max this is making me nervous. He's been tracking you. Max? Max: I found it. Liz: Ok, well--hurry. Try to get a look at him and get out of there. Liz: It doesn't matter where you look. You should be able to see him at the start of any shot. Max: It's tough to make anything out. Max: Hang on. Liz: Max. Max? Max: Oh, my god. Liz: Max, what do you see? Max: He's a movie producer. Liz, i know this guy. I saw him in a restaurant. [Line goes dead] liz? Liz? Shape Shifter: Congratulations, max. You found me. Max: You're the shapeshifter. Why'd you kill ferrini? Shape Shifter: Well... He figured out what i am... And that didn't work for me. [The shapeshifter raises his hand and Max flies across the room] Shape Shifter: I told you to stop lookin' for me. [He raises his hand, and the film ingnites [To Be Continued]

Plan: A: Hollywood; Q: Where does Max travel to while investigating a murder he believes was committed by an alien? A: a Paramount science fiction show; Q: What is "They Are Among Us"? A: the Paramount lot; Q: Where does Max go to investigate the link to "They Are Among Us"? A: Star Trek alum; Q: What is Jonathan Frakes's background? A: Jonathan Frakes; Q: Who directed the episode of Enterprise that Max auditions for? A: Roswell; Q: Where do Isabel and Jesse live? A: their families; Q: Who do Isabel and Jesse struggle over how to reveal their engagement to? Summary: Max travels to Hollywood while investigating a murder he believes was committed by an alien. He discovers a link to a Paramount science fiction show called "They Are Among Us" and when he goes to the Paramount lot to investigate he ends up auditioning for the part of an alien on an episode of "Enterprise" directed by Star Trek alum, Jonathan Frakes. Meanwhile, back in Roswell, Isabel and Jesse struggle over how to reveal their engagement to their families. To be continued...

EXT. PUBLIC STORAGE FACILITY - DAY STEVE: Anything else I can do? EMMY: No. I just want to get this over with. STEVE: All right. (SFX: DOOR SLIDES OPEN) EMMY: Heaven forbid he should label anything and make this easy. STEVE: What are you gonna do with his truck? EMMY: I don't know. Sell it, I guess. STEVE: How much you want for it? EMMY: I don't know, okay? Listen, I just want to find a picture of his mother so he can be buried with it. STEVE: Not a problem. Any idea what year it is? EMMY: No. Listen, I don't mean to be rude, but I just feel like being alone. STEVE: Wonder what he's got in here. (STEVE UNWRAPS THE PLASTIC) STEVE: Holy smoke! (MUSIC UP AND OUT) (THEME MUSIC UP OVER OPENING TITLE/SCENES / CREDITS AND OUT) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN) KATE: We're leaving in five minutes. Where have you been? TONY: I got the call. I'm here. KATE: Get up on the wrong side of the bed, did we? TONY: My car got towed. I had to take the bus to work this morning. KATE: Where was it parked? TONY: That's not important, Kate. KATE: Didn't make it home last night, did you? TONY: (INTO PHONE) Hi, this is Anthony DiNozzo. I'm trying to locate my car. It was towed from the thirty-four hundred block of Dumbarton in Georgetown. You've already put me on hold three times. You killed my cell phone battery. Do not put me on hold again! Do not -- ! KATE: Dumbarton - near campus. I really hope she was over twenty-one. TONY: You'd love to know, wouldn't you? Going somewhere this weekend? KATE: Love to know, wouldn't you? MCGEE: Truck's gassed up. Ducky already left. (TO TONY) You made it. TONY: Don't start, Probie. KATE: Tony's car was towed. Poor baby had to take the bus to work. TONY: You know what kind of people take the bus? MCGEE: Yeah, I take the bus. TONY: Exactly. ABBY: Hey, I heard you're going to Norfolk. KATE: Shouldn't be a problem. We should still be able to leave by six. TONY: Leave? For where? You two are spending the weekend together. (PURRS) Hold on. Let me paint a picture. KATE: You're a pig. TONY: Probie, any idea where they're going? MCGEE: Sorry, I cannot divulge that information, Tony. GIBBS: Health spa. ABBY: Gibbs! GIBBS: He'll spend all day trying to figure it out. I do not need him distracted. TONY: I appreciate that, Boss. GIBBS: What'd you find out about the Petty Officer? KATE: He rented a storage locker ten months ago just before he was shipped off to Iraq. MCGEE: Died in Falluja last week. His body is at the Theatre Mortuary Evacuation Point in Kuwait. GIBBS: McGee, you stay here. Contact NCIS in Iraq. Find out everything you can about Petty Officer Dobbs. MCGEE: On it. GIBBS: DiNozzo. Same clothes you wore here yesterday? TONY: I buy a lot of the same things. It makes mornings less stressful. (INTO PHONE) Yeah, I'm here! GIBBS: Now you're gone.(SFX: DIAL TONE ) [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. PUBLIC STORAGE FACILITY - DAY (SFX: POLICE SIREN B.G.) TONY: What kind of people use your facility Mister Hager? STEVE: Most of the renters are Navy personnel. When they ship out, they pay in advance. Your guy paid a year. Got two months left. (PHONE RINGS) TONY: (V.O.) DiNozzo. Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. STORAGE ROOM - DAY GIBBS: Talk to me, Duck. DUCKY: Well, it's definitely female, Jethro. The male pelvis is shaped like a butterfly. The female's is wider and has larger superior and inferior apertures to facilitate child birth. GIBBS: Age? DUCKY: Oh, I'd estimate seventeen to twenty. The pubic symphysis is an excellent yardstick of age... JIMMY: Doctor...? DUCKY: It's corrugated in a woman's teens, and then smoothes out during her twenties and thirties. At the time of this young lady's demise, you can see it was in the transitional stage. What is so urgent, Mister Palmer? JIMMY: It's just that he ... he...uh... DUCKY: He? Who? JIMMY: Special Agent Gibbs. DUCKY: What about him? JIMMY: He left, Doctor. DUCKY: Yes, I know he left. He left some time ago. Have you only just realized that? JIMMY: No. DUCKY: Then why mention him now? JIMMY: It's just that I ...you...you... [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. LOCKER - DAY GIBBS: Tell me about it. TONY: Is it that obvious? I'm sorry, boss. It's just upsetting. My car wasn't towed. It was stolen. GIBBS: Tell me about the storage locker, DiNozzo. TONY: Right. Uh... every renter has a code to enter the main gate. Locker number plus the last four digits of their Social Security number. Manager's checking the computer to see if anyone accessed Petty Officer Dobb's locker. Sorry. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LOCKER CORRIDOR - DAY EMMY: Justin and I were friends since freshman year in high school. KATE: Boyfriend? EMMY: No. Just friends. KATE: But you have the key to his locker. EMMY: Yeah, he mailed it to me with a will and power-of-attorney. KATE: That's a lot to saddle a friend with. EMMY: Yeah, tell me about it. Something I can do without. KATE: Why you? EMMY: He didn't have anybody else. DUCKY: Give me the bag, Mister Palmer. Tag this for me. KATE: It's stressful, I'm sure. Do you have any idea who's in that truck? EMMY: No. KATE: We're going to find out, Emmy. It'd be real good if you told us anything you know. EMMY: There was a girl. Nora Webb. We were all friends in high school. She disappeared our senior year. The police always suspected that Justin knew what happened to her. DUCKY: (V.O.) All right. Let's wrap her up, Mister Palmer. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY GIBBS: Contact NCIS Iraq? MCGEE: They were well aware of Petty Officer Dobbs. GIBBS: He got in trouble. MCGEE: Just the opposite, Boss. His C.O. wrote him up for a posthumous Silver Star. Actually, the C.O. wants to talk to you. He's standing by to go on satellite right now. GIBBS: Kate, talk to LEOs in Dobbs' hometown. Verify what the girl told us. Do not tell them what we found. KATE: Got it. GIBBS: DiNozzo, talk to the insurance agent on your own time. Get down to the garage. Start an inventory on Petty Officer Dobbs' stuff. TONY: Gibbs is a boat man. He doesn't understand I have to have my car. MCGEE: They're giving you a rental. DiNozzo, what's the big deal? TONY: It's not the same, busboy. My car is part of my being. KATE: It's a car, Tony. TONY: It's a classic, Kate. It's a Ninety Z.R. One Corvette. It's powerful, it's fast, it's gorgeous. KATE: In other words, it's you. TONY: Exactly. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC ROOM - DAY KING: (ON MONITOR) Under heavy fire, Petty Officer Dobbs single-handedly dragged two Marines to safety. He saved their lives at the cost of his own. That's why I recommended him and forwarded it up the chain of command. Now I understand you're a former Marine, Agent Gibbs. GIBBS: I am. KING: (ON MONITOR) Then you know we don't take this lightly. This was an extraordinary young man. Now this is Lance Corporal Jaime Ramos. He served with Petty Officer Dobbs. RAMOS: (ON MONITOR) Sir, Petty Officer Dobbs wasn't a Marine, but he was one of us. He served in our platoon the whole tour as our Corpsman. What they're saying about Doc can't be true, Sir. He died saving lives over here. KING: (ON MONITOR) Whatever you can do, we'd appreciate it, Agent Gibbs. GIBBS: Understood, Lieutenant. RAMOS: (ON MONITOR) The thing is, Sir, Doc isn't around to defend himself now. You have to, Sir. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN) GIBBS: Duck, is it her? DUCKY: She is indeed Nora Webb, Jethro. I have a positive I.D. using dental records from the FBI's Missing Person's Database. GIBBS: How long's she been dead? DUCKY: How long's she been missing? GIBBS: Almost two years. Petty Officer Dobbs rented the locker ten months ago. DUCKY: Well, I venture that she met her fate around the time of her disappearance. Plus I can't be certain until I know where the young lady's remains were kept. JIMMY: The deterioration will be effected by whether she was indoors, void of the elements, or buried outside in the... ground. GIBBS: Cause of death? DUCKY: Uh... that will be hard to determine. GIBBS: Duck, I need to know. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. NCIS GARAGE - DAY COURIER: Sign this for me, over here. Oh, wow.(ABBY SIGNS) ABBY: It only looks like a skull and crossbones. TONY: Home movies. Little League, ninety seven. Christmas, ninety five. Hoo-ya. ABBY: And the winner is? TONY: High school, senior year. Danke schon. So what exactly do you girls do at a health spa? ABBY: Get pampered. TONY: Massages? ABBY: Many kinds. TONY: Full body? ABBY: Places you can only dream of, DiNozzo. TONY: Masseuse or masseur? ABBY: I go both ways. You?(SFX: PHONE RINGS) TONY: Only with - Harris, my insurance agent. ABBY: Whatever works, man. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY KATE: I spoke with a LEO in Richfield, Virginia. Officer Billy Krieg confirms that Justin Dobbs was a person of interest in the disappearance of Nora Webb. GIBBS: What else? KATE: Not much. Dobbs enlisted out of high school. He was raised by a single mother who died of cancer while he was in boot camp. Got in the Advanced Medical Training Program. Made P.O. Three. TONY: Boss, Lieutenant Commander Coleman wants to talk to you. GIBBS: Tell her I'm not here. COLEMAN: Why don't you tell me yourself? GIBBS: Commander Coleman. COLEMAN: Special Agent Gibbs. (GIBBS AND COLEMAN STARE AT EACH OTHER) KATE: Tony. TONY: Kate. GIBBS: McGee.(KATE/ MCGEE AND TONY WALK O.S.) COLEMAN: SECNAV wants JAG involved in the investigation of Petty Officer Dobbs. GIBBS: Why? COLEMAN: He's on the fast track for a Silver Star. The Navy doesn't want to be embarrassed by awarding it to a murderer. Did he do it? GIBBS: I'll let you know when the investigation concludes. COLEMAN: Petty Officer Dobbs' remains are arriving at the military mortuary in Dover on Sunday. His unit is pushing for a funeral with full honors. You've got twenty-four hours. GIBBS: That's not enough time. COLEMAN: SECNAV can't wait. You've got twenty-four hours. (COLEMAN WALKS O.S.) GIBBS: Cancel all weekend plans. (MUSIC OUT) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY TONY: That guy is Justin Dobbs. The girl in pink is Emmy Poole with our victim Nora Webb. If the time stamp's accurate on this tape, this would have been shot two days before she was reported missing. MCGEE: Well, from this video, it doesn't look like anything's wrong. TONY: Sure brings back memories, Probie. Oh, I don't suppose you had a car to wash in high school. MCGEE: Actually, I did, Tony. My parents bought one for me the day I turned sixteen. TONY: Let me guess.... Yugo? MCGEE: No, it was much cooler than that. TONY: I'm sorry. What was I thinking? I forgot who I'm dealing with here. Uh... Duster? MCGEE: Nope. TONY: Gremlin? MCGEE: You're not going to guess it, Tony. TONY: One of the Ford trilogy of dork mobiles? Maverick? Fiesta? Pinto? If you say Datsun Honeybee, I'm going to come over there and smack you. MCGEE: Eighty four Camaro Z-twenty-eight, five speed. TONY: That's a smokin' hot car, McGee. What the hell went wrong with you? MCGEE: Well, the first day I got behind the wheel, I had a slight... thing. TONY: Head on? MCGEE: I was trying to figure out the wipers. I took my eyes off the road for a second. When I looked up, there it was right in front of me. TONY: Car! MCGEE: Bus. (SFX: TONY GASPS) MCGEE: I got a student pass the day I got out of traction. (TONY HUGS MCGEE) TONY: I didn't know. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. POLICE STATION - DAY WHALEN: Are you sure it's Nora Webb? GIBBS: We're sure. WHALEN: Knew the sonovabitch did it. KATE: Justin Dobbs was the prime suspect? WHALEN: Nora Webb was last seen leaving a party with him. KRIEG: Kids saw her drive off in the truck. The next day her parents reported her missing. WHALEN: When we brought him in, he had scratches on his face and arms. GIBBS: I'm sure he had an explanation, of course. WHALEN: Don't they always. Said she got abusive before he dropped her home. KRIEG: People at the party thought they saw him coming onto her. KATE: They ever have anything between them before? KRIEG: No, but he had been drinking. KATE: So you think he pressed it with her in the car. When she didn't go along, things got out of hand. WHALEN: Figured he'd bury her in the woods. When we couldn't find the body, the D.A. chose not to go forward. After graduation, Justin Dobbs slinked out of town in a Navy uniform. GIBBS: Petty Officer Dobbs died in that uniform saving lives, Chief. WHALEN: I appreciate that, Agent Gibbs. Doesn't excuse taking one before he left. GIBBS: I'd like a copy of that case file. WHALEN: Not a problem. Pull it, Billy. Then show our friends where the copy machine is. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. NURSERY - DAY KATE: Chief Whalen doesn't have a doubt about Petty Officer Dobbs' guilt. GIBBS: Nope. KATE: So what do you think? GIBBS: If I was him, I wouldn't either. Mister and Mrs. Webb, Special Agents Gibbs and Todd. NCIS. KATHY WEBB: We know. WHALEN: Mister and Mrs. Webb, you all take care. Been pushing for a faster copier. Hope it didn't cause too much inconvenience. BRUCE WEBB: When do we get our daughter back? GIBBS: Our investigation is almost over. BRUCE WEBB: Chief Whalen concluded the investigation a long time ago. GIBBS: If Justin murdered your daughter, our investigation will only confirm it. BRUCE WEBB: We don't need a confirmation! (KATHY CRIES) KATHY WEBB: Do you know how... how she died? GIBBS: Not yet. BRUCE WEBB: Is that all? KATE: We just have a few questions. BRUCE WEBB: No, I'm not going to do it. KATE: I know this is difficult. BRUCE WEBB: You don't know anything, lady. KATE: Mister Webb... GIBBS: Kate. (TO WEBB) Appreciate your time. Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LAB - DAY ABBY: What's up, Palmer? JIMMY: I brought you a substance for analysis. ABBY: Where'd you get it? JIMMY: The victim's femur bone. ABBY: Just put it over there. JIMMY: Hey, sorry to hear about your weekend. ABBY: Oh, hm... Tony? JIMMY: Yeah, mass email. The sender was anonymous, but it was pretty obvious. ABBY: Lots of lascivious references. JIMMY: You know, the inefficient flow of ki is a major source of stiffness. Silent auction item at my niece's school benefit. A weekend seminar in the Art of Shiatsu. ABBY: Do me. JIMMY: Uh... I showed up late. ABBY: Your hands. My body. Now! Ah! Ah! TONY: What the hell are you doing, Palmer? JIMMY: Ah... ah... ah... TONY: You read the Agency police on sexual harassment, didn't you, Palmer? JIMMY: It wasn't like that! (MUSIC CLICKS OFF) TONY: It never is. Now go, you little autopsy gremlin! Get out of here. What have you got, Abs? ABBY: He's doing it again, McGee. MCGEE: Um-hmm. TONY: Doing what? MCGEE: You become Gibbs when he's not around. TONY: I do not. MCGEE: Actually, you do. ABBY: The Caff-Pow! The head-slaps. Turning my music off. "What've you got, Abs?" MCGEE: He has been in a foul mood all day. ABBY: That's another Gibbs' trait. (LONG BEAT) You don't quite have the stare down yet. TONY: Hey! What are you giggling about? Inventory the contents now, Probie! MCGEE: Dobb's sea bag. Sent from Iraq. Has all his personal effects. ABBY: Do you know anything about ki, McGee? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. BIKE SHOP - DAY EMMY: It was Nora. GIBBS: It was. How long have you known about Justin's storage locker, Emmy? EMMY: A week. When I read the will. Thanks. GIBBS: You didn't read it until he died? EMMY: Anything wrong with that? KATE: Who else knew about the will? EMMY: No idea. He wrote it up online. I didn't recognize the names of the witnesses. Guys from his unit, I guess. GIBBS: We'll need a copy. EMMY: Okay. KATE: So you and Petty Officer Dobbs... EMMY: We were tight in high school. Listen, it was his idea to go off to the stupid war, okay? I didn't need this. KATE: And you and Nora Webb? EMMY: Friends. It was high school, okay? Customer's waiting. Are we through? GIBBS: For now. There are a lot of pissed off people here in Richfield.(EMMY WALKS AWAY) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY DUCKY: Here's something interesting, Mister Palmer. The hyoid bone. Do you know what makes it unique? JIMMY: No, Doctor. DUCKY: (SINGS) Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones... the shoulder bone connected to the neck. The neck bone connected to the head bone. The hyoid bone, Mister Palmer. To what is it connected? JIMMY: Uh... nothing. DUCKY: Correct. Of the two hundred and six bones in the human body, the hyoid is the only one not articulated to any other. JIMMY: Cool. DUCKY: Its name derives from the Greek. Ah, U-O-I-Ds. Shaped like a "U." JIMMY: Upsilon. DUCKY: Yeah, I hope you learned that in medical school and not at some fraternity ritual. You see, this one is distorted. JIMMY: It looks like it's been crushed. DUCKY: And that would suggest? JIMMY: Strangulation. DUCKY: Yes! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY KATE: Who's the cop? MCGEE: No idea. GIBBS: What do you have, McGee? MCGEE: The records show that no one accessed the storage facility with Petty Officer Dobbs' code after he deployed. GIBBS: Personal effects? MCGEE: Nothing out of the ordinary. Only thing of interest was a padlock key identical to the one Emmy Poole had. (PHONE RINGS) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, Gibbs. (HANGS UP PHONE) (GIBBS WALKS TO THE ELEVATOR) GIBBS: DiNozzo! TONY: Boss, you're not going to believe this. My car was used in a convenience store robbery in Tennessee. But I'm... I'm cool. So not important in the grand scheme of things. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC ROOM - DAY COLEMAN: (ON MONITOR) You've had twenty-four hours. GIBBS: Not enough time. COLEMAN: (ON MONITOR) Petty Officer Dobbs' body left Kuwait an hour ago. What do I tell the SECNAV? GIBBS: Nothing conclusive at this point. COLEMAN: (ON MONITOR) You are forcing me to have the medal withheld. GIBBS: You might be denying a hero his due. COLEMAN: (ON MONITOR) Give me something, Gibbs. Is there anything working in his favor? GIBBS: You're breaking up, Faith. COLEMAN: I can see you just fine. GIBBS: Must be a solar flare. COLEMAN: Gibbs-- (MONITOR CLICKS OFF) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. NCIS HEADQUARTERS - DAY (DOOR OPENS) DUCKY: Such a mysterious room. GIBBS: You got something, Duck? DUCKY: Yeah. Cause of death, strangulation. Things not going too well? GIBBS: Running out of time. DUCKY: Do you ever think that the Petty Officer might be guilty? GIBBS: It crossed my mind. DUCKY: And more than once, obviously. Otherwise you'd be telling me your gut says he's not guilty. GIBBS: Some Marine's guts in Iraq says that. DUCKY: But not yours? GIBBS: Yeah. Yeah, my gut says it, too. DUCKY: Your gut... or Semper Fi? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY GIBBS: Emmy Poole is holding back. I want her in interrogation now. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. EMMY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT (PHONE RINGS) (BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) (SCENE CUT) WHALEN: (V.O./FILTERED) Yes? KATE: (INTO PHONE) This is NCIS Special Agent Todd. (SCENE CUT) KATE: (V.O./FILTERED) I'd like to speak with Emmy Poole. WHALEN: (INTO PHONE) That's not going to happen, Agent Todd. (CAMERA ANGLE ON BATHROOM) (CUT TO BLACK) MUSIC IN: EXT. EMMY POOLE'S HOUSE - NIGHT (SFX: TRUCK SIREN) KRIEG: Nice truck. GIBBS: If we hadn't called the house, would you have notified us? WHALEN: Eventually. GIBBS: I'd sure like my people to take a look. WHALEN: It was a suicide. What do you expect to find? GIBBS: Emmy Poole was material to my investigation. WHALEN: The investigation into a murder that took place two years ago. Here. When Justin Dobbs was a civilian. That was a local matter. Just like this is. GIBBS: Understood. WHALEN: You have to take a look around... fine. We just removed the body. Crime scene's intact. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. EMMY'S BEDROOM GIBBS: Who found her? WHALEN: The mother. GIBBS: I'd like to speak with her. WHALEN: You're welcome to read her statement. She's with friends. Didn't want to stay in the house tonight. GIBBS: Leave a note? WHALEN: Not that we found. Mother said she'd been depressed. On medication for the past couple years. GIBBS: Since the disappearance of Nora Webb. WHALEN: Where are you going with this, Gibbs? According to the mother, Emmy was close to Nora. Took her disappearance hard. Don't think finding the body helped. GIBBS: Yeah, we spoke to Emmy this afternoon. The thing is, I kept getting the feeling she wasn't telling us everything she knew. WHALEN: All there is to know is... Justin Dobbs killed Nora Webb. GIBBS: So you keep saying. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. PARK - DAY (MUSIC OVER ACTION/COLEMAN JOGS) COLEMAN: Is this your idea of an apology? GIBBS: For what? I just don't like to drink alone. COLEMAN: The fact that you know where to find me on a Sunday morning is a little scary, Gibbs. Please. GIBBS: Not as scary as your trunk. COLEMAN: What do you want? GIBBS: Talked to the office of the SECNAV yet? COLEMAN: No. GIBBS: The girl who found the remains in Petty Officer Dobbs' truck is dead. Suicide, maybe. COLEMAN: You think she was involved? GIBBS: I don't know. She could have had an accomplice. I need more time. COLEMAN: Petty Officer Dobbs' funeral is tomorrow. GIBBS: Not if I order his remains quarantined at Dover Morgue. COLEMAN: What are you up to? GIBBS: I need our M.E. to examine the body as part of our investigation. COLEMAN: Dobbs died as a result of enemy fire in Iraq. What bearing does that have on a girl who was killed two years ago in Richfield, Virginia? GIBBS: You can never be too thorough. COLEMAN: You're pushing it, Gibbs. Why are you sticking your neck out for this guy? GIBBS: Several Marines witnessed Petty Officer Dobbs saving lives. No one witnessed him taking one. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: EXT. NURSERY - DAY KATE: Mrs. Webb. TONY: Special Agent DiNozzo. KATE: We don't know if you've about Emmy Poole. KATHY WEBB: Her poor mother. KATE: Well, we're sorry to bother you. Just a few questions. Your daughter and Emmy were close. KATHY WEBB: They were very close. Emmy practically lived at our house. She was always sleeping over. TONY: Did they ever have a falling out? KATHY WEBB: Oh, god. No. I felt sorry for Emmy. She was caught in the middle between her two best friends. KATE: Nora and Justin. KATHY WEBB: Nora had disappeared and everyone believed Justin was responsible. She couldn't handle it. And then finding Nora... it must have sent her over the edge. The past two years have been hell for us. That's why we've sold the business and - there's just too many bad memories in this town. BRUCE WEBB: Hey, what are you doing here? Chief Whalen said we don't have to deal with you. KATHY WEBB: They're just trying to do their job. BRUCE WEBB: They want Justin Dobbs buried as a war hero. That's what they want. He killed our daughter. As far as I'm concerned, he's responsible for Emmy's death as well. Leave now. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. NURSERY PARKING LOT - DAY KATE: Why don't you get one of these? It fits your personality perfectly. Loud, overbearing, politically incorrect. TONY: It's tempting, Kate, but I love the car I had. KATE: Had? Too bad you're not as faithful to the women in your life. TONY: Ha! That's funny. KATE: But for your sake I do hope that you and she reunite. TONY: Actually, I don't know if I want it back. KATE: And why is that? TONY: She's been violated. (SFX: SIREN) TONY: You here to escort us to the city limits, Officer? KRIEG: The Chief wants you to leave the Webbs alone. They've been through a lot. KATE: Well, we realize that, Officer. We're just trying to resolve Petty Officer Dobbs' guilt or innocence. KRIEG: Now why can't you just accept the facts? They're right there in front of you. TONY: Actually, the only thing in front of us right now is you. If you move, we'll leave. Maybe. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LAB - DAY MCGEE: I think it's the power supply. ABBY: You think? MCGEE: It would be helpful if I had a service manual. ABBY: (LONG BEAT) I was at church, Gibbs. GIBBS: What do you got, Abs? ABBY: First of all, you owe me big time. It took Kate and me six months to get the reservations to that spa. GIBBS: If you tell me you found something, I'll think about making it up to you. ABBY: Typical man. Promise you everything until he gets what he wants. Right, McGee? MCGEE: Well actually, I... ABBY: Thanks, McGee. So I found dirt on her femur bone and identical traces on the inside of the plastic she was wrapped in. But not on the outside! GIBBS: Nora Webb was buried in the ground. Then removed. ABBY: And then wrapped in plastic and then put in that truck. GIBBS: Chief Whalen always thought she was buried in the woods. ABBY: Maybe yes, maybe no. GIBBS: You got anything more specific than dirt? ABBY: Well, I was trying, except my mass spectrometer crashed. And there's a certain MIT grad that's supposed to be fixing it but he's actually making it worse. GIBBS: Sooner than later, McGee.(GIBBS WALKS O.S.) MCGEE: Why don't you just hire a service tech? ABBY: Well, I would, McGee. But it's Sunday. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. ELEVATOR - DAY (SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN) DUCKY: Oh, there you are. GIBBS: Appreciate you coming. DUCKY: It's a godsend, actually. Mother has the ladies of the Kennel Club over for cocktails. GIBBS: Take a ride, Duck. DUCKY: Oh, I had a conversation with the M.E. at Richfield. He came to the same conclusion. Suicide, indeed. The lacerations on the young girl's wrists gave every indication of being self-inflicted. But that's not why you asked me in here. GIBBS: They're holding Petty Officer Dobbs' body for you at the Dover morgue. DUCKY: I don't get it. I thought he died in combat. GIBBS: I need you to take a look, Ducky. DUCKY: What do you expect me to find? GIBBS: Nothing. I just need to buy more time. DUCKY: Oh, Jethro... I can spend forever finding nothing. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) Great, thank you. (TO GIBBS) Boss, I tracked down the two witnesses who signed Petty Officer Dobbs' will. Both were Corpsmen he met in training. One's stationed at GITMO, the other Coronado. Neither knew anything relevant. ABBY: Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs! Are we still on? Weekend at the spa if I come up with something really big? This is a piece of the plastic sheet that the victim's body was wrapped in. GIBBS: Did you lift a print? ABBY: Negatory. GIBBS: Trace evidence? ABBY: No. But this is a really big but. From analysis of the polymers and the resins, I tracked down the manufacturer. They've reworked their formula. It's polyethylene, four mils thick. It's more flexible and resistant to tearing. GIBBS: What's the point, Abby? ABBY: This is a brand new product, Gibbs. It's only been on the market for four months. MCGEE: Petty Officer Dobbs has been in Iraq for ten months. He couldn't have put it there. ABBY: So can I make those reservations now? What's the matter, Gibbs? GIBBS: That does not mean that Petty Officer Dobbs is innocent. It only means he could have had an accomplice. MCGEE: Emmy Poole. (PHONE RINGS) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, Gibbs. I'll be right there. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC ROOM - DAY GIBBS: You're not calling with good news. COLEMAN: (ON MONITOR) I'm sorry, Gibbs. SECNAV made his decision. He won't sign off on the Star. (MUSIC OUT) MUSIC IN: INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY ABBY: Do you think he's going to want us to hang around? MCGEE: Uh... I can't imagine there's anything that can't wait 'till tomorrow. ABBY: Go ask him. MCGEE: You ask him. ABBY: You're the Special Agent. MCGEE: He likes you more. ABBY: That's because I don't ask him stupid questions. (BEAT) Rock, paper, scissors? MCGEE: On three. GIBBS: Something on your mind? MCGEE/ABBY: (IN UNISON) No. GIBBS: You weren't thinking about leaving, were you? ABBY: Oh, no. MCGEE: (OVERLAP) Absolutely not. ABBY: I was just going to go um... check on the old spectrometer. (ABBY WALKS O.S.) GIBBS: Assuming Petty Officer Dobbs is innocent, why did Nora Webb's remains show up in his storage locker? MCGEE: Someone was framing him? GIBBS: Emmy Poole knew about the locker and she had a key. MCGEE: She would have had to have gone there before the bones were discovered. GIBBS: But after Petty Officer Dobbs died, so he couldn't defend himself. MCGEE: There's one problem, though, boss. The computer shows that Dobbs' entry gate access code was used only once. The time she was with the manager. She could have used somebody else's code! There's a surveillance camera at the entry gate, boss. GIBBS: I know, McGee. MCGEE: That is why I am going to Little Creek. TONY: Avoid the two ninety five. It's packed. GIBBS: DiNozzo, go with McGee. He's going to pick up the surveillance tape. TONY: Boss, I just - you're driving. (TONY AND MCGEE WALK TO THE ELEVATOR) TONY: Do you realize Mother Teresa would have road rage hell out there? MCGEE: I know it's a long shot. TONY: A long shot is you getting laid by Penelope Cruz, McGee. This is way beyond that. MCGEE: Tony, I'm sorry. But my instincts tell me-- TONY: You have not been around long enough to have instincts, Probie! MCGEE: Well, I still don't think Petty Officer Dobbs is a murderer. TONY: Why? Because he was a hero in Iraq? MCGEE: Yeah.(SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN) TONY: They Came to Cordura. MCGEE: What? TONY: It's a film. MCGEE: Of course. TONY: Gary Cooper. MCGEE: Who? TONY: One of the greatest actors of all time. Coop. High Noon. They Came to Cordura was one of his last pictures. Stay with me here. It's nineteen sixteen. The war against Pancho Villa. Coop plays an Army Major escorting Rita Hayworth - ooh, what a body - and four Medal of Honor winners back to Texas for this ceremony. And along the way, he tries to determine what made them heroes. (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN) TONY: In the end, he exposes them for what they really are... corrupt, pathetic, hypocritical, cowardly degenerates. MCGEE: DiNozzo, it's a movie. TONY: It's a film. And you're taking the stairs, McGee. MCGEE: Why? TONY: Because I am not riding in an elevator with anyone who doesn't know who Gary Cooper was. (SFX: DOORS SLIDE CLOSED) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LAB - DAY GIBBS: Abby, can you tell if anyone picked -- ABBY: Dobbs' padlock? GIBBS: Yes. ABBY: No. GIBBS: Abs, I don't have time. ABBY: I'm trying to tell you I just checked it out. I knew you were going to ask. It's scary, Gibbs. I'm starting to think like you. The lock is almost a virgin. It's hardly been opened and it shows no sign of wear. If had been picked, there'd be scratches on the tumbler. GIBBS: It was opened with a key. ABBY: I would swear to it. GIBBS: That's good work, Abs. ABBY: I knew you were going to say that, too. He's the manufacturer's service tech. He gets triple time on weekends and it's going to be a while. GIBBS: Stay on him. ABBY: So what's the verdict? TECH: I'm done. ABBY: Really? That was quick. TECH: It's a simple short. It's nothing you don't pick up in an intro ITT class. ABBY: Huh. I guess they don't offer that at M.I.T. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY GIBBS: Any luck with Emmy's psychiatrist? KATE: It's Sunday, Gibbs. GIBBS: I know. As everyone keeps reminding me. COLEMAN: Well, it wasn't much of a challenge finding you. I actually do like to drink alone, but I figured you could use a pick-me-up. You're not surprised I found you here? GIBBS: No. No, why should I be? The investigation's not over. COLEMAN: It's a lost cause. GIBBS: You here to gloat? COLEMAN: Actually, I happen to believe in miracles. GIBBS: Oh, really. COLEMAN: Never had one happen in front of me. So I figure if one did, I'd like to be standing by so I could call the Pentagon. GIBBS: Miracles take hard work, Commander. COLEMAN: Any particular desk I should use? GIBBS: Special Agent DiNozzo will be gone for a while. COLEMAN: Agent Todd? GIBBS: Richfield case file. ABBY: Do you realize at this exact moment we would be in the throes of deep-tissue exhilaration. KATE: Don't remind me. COLEMAN: You guys had spa plans? ABBY: Yeah. COLEMAN: Last month a girlfriend and I went to the new one in Charleston. KATE: Serenity Retreat? KATE/ABBY: Ahhh.... GIBBS: Are you here for a reason, Abby? ABBY: I want to talk dirt. MCGEE: Boss! ABBY: Um... I don't know if you missed my lips moving, McGee, but actually I was speaking. According to my newly repaired mass spectrometer... TONY: Sorry, Abs, but this is big. Well, it could be big. At least we think it is. But if it is big, it would be real big! GIBBS: McGee, talk! Make sense. MCGEE: We reviewed the entry gates security tapes from Little Creek Public Storage. From the day Petty Officer Dobbs died to the day Nora Webb's remains were found. No sign of Emmy Poole entering. TONY: But I think I recognize someone else. MCGEE: It's grainy, but we're hoping that Abby is capable of enhancing it. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LAB - DAY MCGEE: This video was taken three days after Petty Officer Dobbs died in Fallujah. This guy opened up a locker the same day, under the name John Weston. TONY: Freeze it right there! GIBBS: Any chance we make the driver, Abs? ABBY: Not a chance, Gibbs. A certainty. (SFX: COMPUTER BEEP TONES) GIBBS: Webb. COLEMAN: Were there any other surveillance cameras on the premises? MCGEE: No. Once he was in, he could have gone to any locker. KATE: He would have to have known which locker was Dobbs'. ABBY: And he would have had to have had a key because the lock was not picked. GIBBS: Emmy Poole. Kate, McGee, start back-grounding Bruce Webb. DiNozzo, you're with me! ABBY: Gibbs! Gibbs! My dirt! GIBBS: What about it? ABBY: Unless someone has been fertilizing the forest, Nora Webb was not buried in the woods. The soil found on her femur contained chemicals consistent with plant food. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. NURSERY - DAY (CAR BRAKES TO A STOP) (BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) (PHONE RINGS) (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) Yeah, Gibbs. KATE: (INTO PHONE) Bruce Webb was Nora's stepfather. MCGEE: Her biological father... (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) ... Walked out when she was three. Nora took his name... (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) ...When he officially adopted her at the age of six. KATE: Nothing else yet... (SCENE CUT) KATE: (V.O./FILTERED) .... But we're working it, Gibbs. (SCENE CUT) COLEMAN: He just cut you off?(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) KATE: He does that to everyone. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. NURSERY - DAY TONY: Wow. Stepfather. Did you see that movie? Guy marries a woman with a gorgeous daughter. BRUCE WEBB: I thought I made it clear we have nothing to say to NCIS. GIBBS: Tony. TONY: I know. Security video can be so darn unflattering. KATHY WEBB: What's going on? GIBBS: By tomorrow we'll have your fingerprints from the storage locker rental agreement. We'll have a search authorization, take soil samples from the nursery and match them against trace evidence from Nora Webb's remains. KATHY WEBB: I don't understand. GIBBS: You dug up and you moved the body because you were afraid that the new owners of the nursery would uncover it. KATHY WEBB: Bruce? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY GIBBS: (V.O.) Emmy Poole was an impressionable teenager, raised by a single mom. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY GIBBS: .... Looking for a father figure. BRUCE WEBB: It wasn't like that. GIBBS: What was it like, Mister Webb? BRUCE WEBB: Emmy was always around with ...with Nora. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY BRUCE WEBB: I enjoyed being with them. It was fun taking them places. As they got older, Emmy was ... [SCENE_BREAK] INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY BRUCE WEBB: ... advanced. Sexually precocious. It all happened so gradual. And then one day things got out of hand. I wanted to stop it but... GIBBS: What happened that night? BRUCE WEBB: It was late. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY BRUCE WEBB: My wife was sleep. Emmy called and warned me that Nora had found out about us. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY BRUCE WEBB: She was hysterical. She and Emmy had gotten into a fight at the party. Justin Dobbs... [SCENE_BREAK] INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY BRUCE WEBB: ... didn't know what the fight was about. He offered to drive Nora home. I couldn't let Nora tell her mother. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY BRUCE WEBB: I met her out front and I tried to calm her. She started screaming. I just... I put my hand over her mouth. She wouldn't stop. (BRUCE WEBB CRIES) BRUCE WEBB: I didn't mean to kill her! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY GIBBS: Do you want to take it from here, Chief? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. CORRIDOR - DAY COLEMAN: So I'm thinking about going to Petty Officer Dobbs' funeral tomorrow. I've never witnessed the awarding of a Silver Star. Would you like to join me? GIBBS: I worked all weekend. I guess I could come in a little late on Monday. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY KATE: They found Tony's car. MCGEE: It's on the I-Forty in Oklahoma. REPORTER: (V.O.) Chopper John is live on the scene. TONY: Pull it over! You'll never get away! ABBY: Kind of drives like Gibbs. (SFX: CAR TIRES SCREECHING) REPORTER: (V.O.) Holy cow!(SFX: REPORTER SHOUTS B.G.) ABBY: Oh! GIBBS: That's harsh. REPORTER: Oh, my! Is that the driver? COPTER PILOT: Yes, it is, Gray. I can't believe it. He seems to be moving. He somehow survived! REPORTER: (V.O.) The same cannot be said for the car, John. It's been completely demolished. ABBY: Oh! GIBBS: Fiberglass. Not good for boats either. KATE: Oh! GIBBS: Have a good weekend. ABBY: Tony! KATE: Tony, that sucks. (FREEZE FRAME ON TONY)

Plan: A: The executor; Q: Who discovers the remains of a missing girl in a Navy petty officer's storage unit? A: a missing girl; Q: What is the skeletal remains of the Navy petty officer's Will & Testament? A: Iraq; Q: Where did the Navy petty officer die? A: a Silver Star; Q: What award was the Petty Officer up for? A: NCIS; Q: Who determines if the Petty Officer is a murderer? A: 24 hours; Q: How long does NCIS have to determine if the petty officer was the murderer? A: Abby; Q: Who discovers that the petty officer could not have acted alone? A: the killer; Q: What does Abby discover that the petty officer could not have been alone if he was? A: CCTV footage; Q: What evidence suggests the petty officer was innocent? A: Tony's car; Q: What was stolen? A: a robbery miles; Q: What was Tony's car used for? A: Tennessee; Q: Where was Tony's car used in a robbery? A: a high-speed chase; Q: What was Tony's car featured on the evening news in? Summary: The executor of a Navy petty officer's Will & Testament discovers the skeletal remains of a missing girl in the dead man's rented storage unit. As the Petty Officer who died in Iraq is up for a Silver Star , it is very important that NCIS determines if he was a murderer within 24 hours or else the Silver Star will be cancelled altogether. Soil samples and further forensics lead Abby to discover that if the petty officer was the killer, he could not have acted alone. Tony and McGee find CCTV footage that suggests the petty officer was entirely innocent. Meanwhile, Tony's car was stolen and he later discovers it was used in a robbery miles away in Tennessee and "featured" on the evening news in a high-speed chase .

Baseball field Lisbon: Nice place. Where does a baseball scout get this kind of money? Cho: Barney Sloop? He's got 15 players in the majors right now and a piece of everything they make. A million-dollar eye for talent. He spots 'em young all over the world, brings 'em here, trains 'em, gets 'em fat pro contracts. Jane: So you played. Cho: I played a little. Jane: Pitcher? Controlling the action? Man with the ball. Cho: Ah, I stopped. Jane: Which you still have unresolved bad feelings about. Yeah, now I see it. That's why you joined the gang. Your parents thought you were wasting your time, so they made you quit baseball, crushed your dream. You were angry about it, but you couldn't express that directly, so you joined a gang as an outlet for all that anger. Cho: Actually, I tore my a. c.l. Nice try. Jane: Parents. It's funny, isn't it- big regrets in life people keep to themselves? Lisbon: I don't know. I tell people about you. Jane: Nice one. A zinger. High and tight. Policeman: Yeah, as close as we can tell, the murder occurred around 10:30 p. m. Cho: Thanks. No big mysteries, weapon-wise. Looks like three or four blows. Lisbon: Rage killing. Cho: The coroner estimates t. o.d. around 10:30 last night. Freddy: Look like they're here, finally. Freddy Fitch, Barney's partner. I want to know who did this, quickly. Lisbon: Agent Lisbon. This is agent Cho. Jane. Freddy: Anything you need, it's yours. I can't believe it. Jane: This was his garden? Freddy: His peace garden, he called it. A year or so ago he got into all this zen malarkey. Lisbon: Who had access to this area? Freddy: Everyone at the academy- six players in residence, family members, staff. Lisbon: We'll need a list. Freddy: Sure, sure. But trust me, no one here w-would hurt Barney. Lisbon: You discovered the body? Freddy: I was out of town yesterday-a high school clinic in Portland. Flew back early this morning, came straight here, found him like this. My God. Man: Run, run, run! Come on! Work it, Scotty, work it! Lisbon: His body's still warm, and they're training? Freddy: I said they could skip the workout. They wouldn't. "hold on to the dream." that's what he told them. Barney was like a father to these kids. Man: Pitching is legs! Boy: Look, Dad, I'm ahead of you! Jane: Seems they have their own fathers. Freddy: Ah, these kids are minors. We bring the dads out to sign off on deals, moral support. Scotty Sinclair and Snake Gallidos. Five drooling scouts coming today. Lisbon: Maybe now isn't the best time. Freddy: Barney set this up- his last showcase. I'm gonna honor that I know you gotta talk to them. It's your job, but please. Jane: Hey, we can let the kids finish their practice. Let's take a look at his house. Lisbon: How do you know where it's at? Jane: 'Cause this thing is a map of his whole life- work, garden, home. Zen malarkey. I don't expect it's much to look at- a simple bed or a thing or... Baseball field Lisbon: Jane? Jane! Cho: You all right? Jane? Flashback 1986 - Circus Jane young: I see it. A cigarette case. Jane's father: A cigarette case. Yes! Yes! Very good. But... What's it made out of, son? What kind of cigarette case, Patrick? What would you say? What's it made of? Jane young: Sterling silver. Jane's father: Your sterling silver cigarette case back, ma'am. Next object would be- Jane young: the cigarette case... It once belonged to someone very, very close to you. Woman: That's right. Jane's father: Yes! The boy wonder sees all. The next object, Patrick- Jane young: someone who's passed on... Quite recently. Woman: Last month. Jane young: Your grandfather. No. Your grandmother. She loved you... Very much... More than she may have expressed. Jane's father: What the hell was that? "your grandmother loves you very much"? Jane young: Well, did you see her face? It was beautiful. Jane's father: No, it was a needless risk. Jane young: An heirloom she carries with her- that's a recent death, and she's too young for dead parents. So... a grandparent. Jane's father: So what? I'd moved on. It's a double act, kid. You don't fly solo. Jane young: You know, you're always saying, when you're working strong, work strong, be brave. Well, I was working strong, and I was right. Jane's father: No, there is no "right" if there's no payoff. This is show business, not show art. Your stage clothes are walking by themselves. Wash 'em good. That private reading... It came through. Jane young: You got it? When? Jane's father: Tomorrow. This is a big score, Patty- big enough for us to blow off this outfit, step up in class and get ourselves some new wheels, even. Only one thing worries me. It's you, my boy. Are you up to it? Jane young: Oh, you know I am. Of course you are. The boy wonder sees all. Baseball field Cho: Can you stand up? Can you talk? Jane: Ouch. Now that was talking. Lisbon: He needs to see a doctor. Cho: Yeah. Jane: I've never caught a foul ball before. Lisbon: Technically, you still haven't. Cho, you take him. Cho: Yeah. Jane: Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm fine. Cho: How many fingers? Jane: Six. Haven't we got a murder to solve? Lisbon: You were unconscious. Jane: No, I wasn't. Cho: Jane, you were. Jane: Was not. Your turn. Okay, I'll see a doctor. Uh, excuse me, doctor? I know. Real, live patient. I'm excited, too. Barney's house Freddy: Barney lived simple-all work, all the time, 24/7. Left his wife, gave her the big house. A clean, simple life- that's all he wanted. Lisbon: Barney was married? Freddy: Still is-Leslie. A piece of work. Like I said, he moved out a year ago. Jane: After their son died. Freddy: He was 3, choked on a balloon. Leslie just fell apart- angry at Barney, the whole world, couldn't get past it. I called her this morning after I called you. She wouldn't even pick up the phone. Bad things happen, and you deal with 'em. Lisbon: And Barney did? Eh, he put his head down, went to work. Found Snake in the Dominican and Scotty somewhere in-in Kansas Meanwhile, Leslie is stuck living in a- in a world of hurt. Jane: I feel it. CBI Rigsby: Let's check out the wife- Leslie Sloop. Van Pelt: Working. Rigsby: Okay. Barney's house Freddy: Drinking like a fish, picking up strangers, calling Barney at all hours, screaming... I don't get that kind of anger. Okay, her kid died. I-is that gonna bring him back? Jane: You don't have kids. Freddy: No, I don't. Uh, the ballplayers should be heading in. Jane: With Barney dead, I'm assuming that you get the, uh, controlling interest in the academy. Freddy: What's that got to do with it? Jane: Money-traditionally a very popular motive. Freddy: Excuse me? Jane: I imagine these two had their differences- the gold watch, the italian suit- oh, I'm sorry-the taiwanese suit made to look italian. Freddy: I don't have to listen to this. Jane: Not exactly emblems of the clean, simple life. There was a culture clash, yeah? Freddy: No. Lisbon: Jane. Jane: Plus what is it exactly you bring to the table? Barney was the brains, the real scout, the star- I mean, the Sloop academy. Jealousy-motive number two. Freddy: I killed him. I-I murdered my best friend. Jane: Did you? Lisbon: Jane, come on. Freddy: Get this jerk away from me. Jane: Seriously, get it off your chest. You'll feel a lot better. Freddy: He was my friend! Jane: How did that feel, crushing your friend's skull with that bat? How did that feel, huh? Lisbon: Back off now. Jane: I'm just checking him out. Lisbon: And? Jane: Well, ambivalent reading, to be honest. Maybe he did it. Maybe he didn't. But one thing he does understand-that's anger. No offense. You think I can skip these interviews? Lisbon: Please. Jane: Thanks. Room Lisbon: Scotty Sinclair? Scotty's father: Doc Sinclair. He's 17. You're talkin' to him, you're talkin' to me. Snake: Two, maybe three months ago, I was having control trouble- my slider. Mr. Sloop said I needed to "quiet my brain." We raked together in his garden. Snake's father: And it worked. Snake: I would never hurt Mr. Sloop. Scotty: He gave me everything. He brought me here. He hooked me up with great coaches, regular school. Lisbon: And money to live on-an advance, some kind of endorsement deal? Scotty: Got, like, ten free pairs. Scotty's father: Which we're gonna have to pay back if he blows this showcase. Scotty: Barney cared. Okay? He taught us how to handle money, invest it. He taught us how to handle life. Scotty's father: Are we done yet? He's supposed to be throwing right now. CBI Rigsby : (phone) Right, yeah. Got it. Thanks, Frank. Barney's life insurance payout- $20 million. Van Pelt: Let me guess-sole beneficiary Leslie Sloop. Rigsby : $20 million- that's a pretty good motive. For $20 million, I'd kill you. Van Pelt: Oh, really? Rigsby : No, I mean, um, kidding. It was a... Joke. Van Pelt: Still the machine. Rigsby : Let's go see her. Leslie's house Van Pelt: Someone needs parking lessons. Narcisco: Who are you? Rigsby: We're looking for Leslie Sloop. Narcisco: Bitch ain't here, man, and I called the real cops. Hey, man, what took you? Van Pelt: Hey, Narcisco! Rigsby: Wait. You know him? Van Pelt: You don't? Narcisco Rubrero- walk-off homer, game one, world series? Help us out, Narcisco. Where is she? Policeman: Let's go downtown and get a statement. Rigsby: Hold on, you guys. We got dibs here. Narcisco: She scratched my face. I think I'm bleedin'. Look, she smashes her car, so she steals mine- my Lamborghini. Van Pelt: Where did she go? Narcisco: I got a gun in that car. It's all legal. I got, like, a-got, like, a permit. Rigsby: Narcisco, where is she? Narcisco: I don't know, man. She kept screaming about her little angel. You know, she had to see her little angel. Rigsby: The son- Michael. Narcisco: She stole my car! Rigsby: So take it up with the real cops. Baseball field Cho: Jane? Lisbon wants us back at the office. Jane? Wrong way. Jane! What are you doing? Jane: They say there's no seasons in California, but that looks like fall. Cho: No, looks like you need a doctor. Jane: I am kind of dizzy. Flashback Jane's father: Okay, hotshot. Female, third in line. Jane young: Okay. New mom, recently married. One of her first days out. He is gonna get her a better ring. Jane's father: Who is? Jane young: Members only. They had to get married. Jane's father: Yeah, that's my boy. You have x-ray eyes. No doubt about it. Baseball field Cho: Jane? Jane: I'm okay. Snake and Scotty are about to pitch. We can't Miss that. Cemetery Leslie: Oh, Michael, I'm so sorry. What did I do? Rigsby: Mrs. Sloop? Leslie: I'm with my son. Rigsby: Mrs. Sloop, I'm sorry. We need to talk to you about your husband. Leslie: No, no. You need to go. Really, you do. Don't you see? This is private. I don't want to talk. I just... I just-I want to end this. Please just leave me alone. Van Pelt: I'm sorry. We can't do that. Leslie: You have to. Please. Because I... I don't know what else to do. Van Pelt: Mrs. Sloop. Leslie: Oh, my god. I'm so sorry. Van Pelt: I've never had children. I-I can't even begin to imagine your loss. Leslie: No. N-no, you can't. So just stop. Please just leave me alone. Just stop talking. Van Pelt: I'm not going to stop. I can't. My sister-she was just like you. Leslie: I don't- I don't want to hear this. Van Pelt: She wanted it to be over... For her. It was always about her. She couldn't talk to me. Leslie: About what? Van Pelt: About anything. I'm her sister. But she didn't-not to me, not to anybody. She just ended it for her. Leslie: I don't know what else to do. Van Pelt: Give me the gun. Put it down. You don't want to do this. Not here. Give me the gun. Leslie: I'm so sorry, Michael. Rigsby: It's okay. Come on. It's okay. It's okay. Baseball field Snake's father: Not now. You know that. OK. OK. Look, I'm busy here. Your brother's tryout is today. No. No way. Bye. That's my older boy. He's a pitcher, just like Snake. He's just as good, too. But he's 22. In baseball years, he's an old man. Jane: Yeah, these pro teams, they like 'em young these days. Like Snake-plenty of time for improvement. Cho: We caught a break. The wife looks good for it. Jane: What was that? Was that a fork-did he just throw a forkball? Cho: It was a slider. We gotta go. Lisbon wants you to take a look at the wife. Jane: Slider? You know, I'm still a little dizzy. You go. Really, I-I'll get a ride. People love driving with me. Couldn't find sunflowers. Not quite the same. CBI Lisbon: Leslie, where were you last night? Leslie: We went to the movies. I don't- I don't remember which one. Lisbon: You're not supposed to take these when you're drinking. Leslie: It was so loud-there were guns and helicopters and people screaming. Ugh, there was so much screaming. Darn. These are supposed to keep me calm. Just one a day. That's what the doctor said. That'll do the trick. Lisbon: Leslie, did you go see Barney last night? Leslie: To see Barney? Mr. Zen? Mr. Acceptance? Why would I do that? Leslie: Tell us about Narcisco. Leslie: Narcisco? Oh, yeah. He's one of Barney's players. I sometimes slept with those guys. Did you know that? I did that sometimes to make him mad. He didn't even care. Van Pelt: She's going around and around, but I think she's gonna give it up. Rigsby: I thought you were amazing out there today. I just wanted to tell you that. Van Pelt: Thank you, I guess. Rigsby: Can I ask you something? Van Pelt: I don't have a sister. Rigsby: No. I didn't remember one. Van Pelt: It just... Came out. [SCENE_BREAK] Baseball field Scotty's father: Come on. Come on. Come on. What was that? Come on, Scotty! What are you thinkin'? Snake's father: He gets down on him too much. The boy can throw. Snake: He can hit, too. Last night in the cage, he dinged me three times off my slider. Nobody touches my slider. Snake's father: That man is gonna kill the golden goose. Scotty plays like this now, imagine when he's 18 or 20 years old. He's only gonna get better. It's amazing, huh? Flashback Jane's father: There. I spent three long days at that crummy hospital finding the mark, setting up the play. And now... It's time to get paid. Baseball field Jane: We've been waiting for you. How you doing? Go, cho! Cho: CBI! Stop! CBI Lisbon: We talked to five bars near the beach. Nothing. Leslie: After the movies, I had an argument with Narcisco, and I went to Barney's. He was sleeping... In his garden. He wouldn't even talk to me. Lisbon: Leslie- - Leslie: I'm his wife! I'm the mother of his child. Shouldn't he talk to me? Lisbon: She was there that night, but he was already dead? Rigsby: If they were at a 10:00 movie, it adds up. Van Pelt: She knew he was dead. That's what pushed her over the edge. Leslie: I didn't-I didn't kill him. I couldn't, even if I wanted to. What would I tell Michael? Jane: Mm, you should let her go. Lisbon: Where? Even if she didn't kill him, she needs help. Your pants are ripped. Cho: We found a witness with immigration problems. Witness: A baseball player-he was very angry with Mr. Sloop. Lisbon: Yesterday afternoon? Witness: He was yelling... Loud. He say Mr. Sloop was stealing. And Mr. Sloop- he was very quiet. He was trying to walk away, but the baseball player- he followed him, very angry. Lisbon: That's it? Witness: Um, mr. Sloop, he went into his trailer. Then he come out, and he show him some papers. And then the baseball player, he got quiet. And that's when I left. Jane: But he'd recognize the player if he saw him again. Witness: Yes. Snake's father: It's the biggest day of their lives. Don't you get that? Lisbon: Barney Sloop had his head bashed in, Mr. Gallidos. Big day for him, too. Policeman: All right, line up facing the mirror. Witness: Him. Lisbon: You sure? Witness: Him at the end. Scotty's father: It's just not true. Scotty: Dad- - Scotty's father: I've got this. My boy doesn't lie. If he said he didn't- Scotty: I did. I went to see him, all right? But, I mean, I didn't kill him. Lisbon: What were you arguing about? Scotty's father: I don't believe it. You lied to me? Lisbon: Mr. Sinclair, please. Scotty: Yeah. I'm sorry to disappoint you, Dad. Lisbon: What were you arguing about? What did Barney steal? Freddy: He's not saying one word, because we're leaving now. Lisbon: Mr. Fitch- - Freddy: Scotty had an argument with Barney hours before the murder. You got nothing to hold him on. Lisbon: Not yet. Lisbon: He had an argument with Barney. He was angry. He lied about it. Who's to say Scotty didn't go back that night and kill the guy? Jane: The kid didn't do it. He was angry with his dad, not with Sloop. If you think he did it, then check the cameras. Lisbon: What camera? Jane: The baseball field cameras. Snake let slip that he and Scotty were out there last night. Apparently, Scotty handled Snake's slider very well. Lisbon: You sure you're all right? Jane: Yeah, fine. Security cam. Should be time-stamped. Van Pelt: The guy who manages the multiplex in Castine City- he remembers a drunk couple fighting in the lobby. The woman was screaming about the movie being too loud. 10:00 show. Sound familiar? Lisbon: Go and show him a picture of Leslie and Narcisco. If he i. d.s them, that lets them out, too. Van Pelt: Okay. Lisbon: We're clearing people. We're supposed to be catching them. Flashback Old woman: We've tried everything. She finished her fourth course of chemo last week. And then the, uh, tumors in her lungs are growing. Girl: Cool shirt. Jane young: Thank you. Old woman: Now the doctors say there's nothing they can do, just make her comfortable. Jane's father: I know it... Must be difficult. Old woman: So when I heard about the crystal- Jane's father: ah, yes. The crystal. Girl: Does it really work? Will it shrink the tumors? Jane's father: Observe. Decide for yourself. Patrick? Son? Jane young: I'm sorry. Jane's father: Patrick! Girl: What's wrong? Jane's father: Oh, he... It's a stressful process. He-he just needs some air. Won't be long. Jane's father: Get up and get back in there. Jane young: I can't do it. I can't. Jane's father: Get up now. What part? What part can't you do? The gag? That's easy. I did the hard part. I put the money in the tent. All you gotta do is pick it up. Jane young: She's dying. Okay, we're stealing from a dying girl. Jane's father: Okay. Yeah, we're all dying, kid. Okay? We're all dying. But what we're giving her- because yeah, she'll be dead by Tuesday and needs it more than most- is hope. Do you get that? Jane young: I can't do it. Jane's father: Okay. All right. You're either with the show, or you're not. You're a loser, or you're someone who plays the losers. And you can't just back out when you feel like it, when it's morally convenient, when you don't have the guts. I've never backed out. I've been carrying you for a long time, and it's not gettin' any easier, son. No one like an aging boy psychic. Short pants don't look so good on a kid that needs a shave. Now... You're gonna need a new act. You're gonna work that out all by yourself? You going solo? Yes or no, boy? Are you with it? Are you with me? Right now. You gotta say. Come on. CBI Lisbon: 7:21-that's the last time we see 'em. Either one of them could have gone back to Barney's. Cho: Where you going? Jane: Baseball academy, I was thinking. Don't we have to solve this thing? Lisbon: Rigsby and Van Pelt are talking to the theater manager now. Jane: The wife? No, no. It wasn't her. The murder weapon was a baseball bat. Baseball bat, baseball academy-common sense. Lisbon: Do you know who the killer is? Jane: What do you think? Lisbon: I think you said, "what do you think?" To make me think you do so I'll go with you, but really you don't. Cho: Baseball bat, baseball academy- that's not common sense. Jane: Great. We'll all go. Baseball field Freddy: All right, fellas, fellas, listen up here a minute, please. Before we start, I just want to say a few words about Barney Sloop. He was a great partner, a great friend to all of us and most of all, a great friend to the game of baseball itself. Let us bow our heads. Okay then. That brings us to Snake Gallidos and Scotty Sinclair- Barney's last and maybe his greatest discoveries- two pitchers with huge franchise potential. In a few minutes, guys, you're gonna see the future. Meanwhile, grab some food and a beer and make sure you've brought your checkbooks. Snake: What are you doing here? Jane: Well, we thought you might be relieved to know that we know you're innocent, so you can relax. Go out there and be great. You're gonna be superstars. Snake: That's right, baby. Jane: Women, cars, adulation, buckets of money all there for you. So who cares if your dad steals a little here and there, huh? Scotty: Hey, he didn't steal. Jane: Really? Scotty: Yeah. He just set up a new bank account. Jane: And that's what Barney told you when you went over there and argued, to accuse him of stealing- that your dad opened a new account without telling you. Snake: I don't think you're helping here, man. Jane: Yes, you two, you have the gift. The question is this-what are you gonna do with that gift? Snake: Play baseball? Jane: That's right. You're gonna play baseball. You're gonna sell soap. You're gonna be part of the big machine. Snake: No, no, no. Not soap, man. My own cologne- Snake for men." Jane: That sounds good. Scotty: So we sell ourselves. I mean, what else are we gonna do? Jane: Well, I'm just saying be careful that you sell your talent and not your soul. Don't let other people run your lives, not even your dads. And trust me, I know what I'm talking about. Snake: Oh, yeah? What's your talent, old man? Jane: Me? I read minds, and there's been plenty of times that I've misused that. Scotty: Read minds, man? Get real. Jane: I am real. Just like most people read books, I read minds. Snake: Okay, what am I thinking? Jane: You're thinking, "holy crap, I hope he can't really read minds. Otherwise I'd be in deep trouble right now." Right? Okay. Cho, could you hand me that pencil, please? Scotty, concentrate. Think of your birthday. Don't tell me. Month, day, year. Concentrate. Scotty: All right, I'm doing it. Snake: He's messing with us, man. Come on, we need to go out there. Jane: I'm reading his mind. Okay, got it. What's your birthday, Scotty? Scotty: April 10, '92. Jane: April 10, '92. Now how much money you want to bet that I can't read minds? You're gonna be a big shot baseball player, make a lot of money. How much of that money are you willing to bet that I can't read minds? Scotty: No way. Jane: Snake, you want in on the action? Cho's not going near it. He knows better. Snake: Show it to me. Scotty: No way. Come on. Show it. Okay, that's sick. Maybe he read it somewhere. Jane: Snake, it's my talent. You want to try? Your birthday. Just think of it. It's okay. Snake: I got to warm up, man. Let's go. Jane: All right. Maybe another time. Good luck. Snake: Thanks. Jane: You, too. Scotty: Thanks. Cho: What was that about? Jane: Just confirming a hunch. Cho: You okay? Jane: Yeah, I'm fine. Just give me a minute, I'll close this thing. Cho: My dad hated baseball. Jane: You gotta get over that. Probably never would have made the big leagues anyway. Flashback Jane's father: This crystal is from ancient Egypt. Its healing powers are legendary. Where there is sickness, it brings health. This may be hard to watch. Girl: No, don't! Jane's father: And when the crystal is applied... The burn is healed. The same thing happens with the tumors. They just disappear. Old woman: I want it. Jane's father: Ma'am, we are here for the next three days. You can have as many appointments as you like. Old woman: No. I want the crystal. I want to buy it. Jane's father: Oh, that's not possible, ma'am. Old woman: I brought cash. Jane's father: Ma'am, I'm sorry. It's been in our family for the past six generations. I can't. Old woman: Please! Jane's father: I'm truly sorry, ma'am. Jane young: Dad, she needs it. Just give it to her! Old woman: Please! I'm begging you. Jane's father: 10 grand, my son. You were great in there. The crying, oh, that was fantastic. I almost bought it myself. You earned this-every penny. I'm gonna be a little late tonight. The sideshow boys got a little poker going. so, uh... Wish me luck, hmm? Baseball field Jane: Snake, you left before I got to read your mind. Snake's father: What are you talking about? Go away now. We got to focus. Jane: Oh, I was just trying to get his date of birth. Snake's father: March 5, '92. Okay? You happy? Jane: March 5, '92. That's weird. I got the march 5th bit right, but I got the, uh, year wrong. I'm never off by that much. Five years. Snake's father: What are you doing? Jane: That would make you 22-22 years old. Snake's father: Get out of here. Jane: That's the same age as your brother-uh, Carlos. That's his name, isn't it? Snake's father: Shut your mouth, man! Get outta here! Cho: Take it easy. Jane: Barney found out, didn't he? Yeah? He found out that Snake was 22. He was gonna send him home. Snake's father: Shut your mouth, man. Freddy: What the hell's going on here? Jane: Jupiter killed Barney to conceal Snake's real age. Freddy: Holy crap. Is this true? Snake's father: I tried to reason with him, but he just walked away. Snake: Pa? Snake's father: Don't say a word, Snake. No digas nada. He doesn't know nothing. Cho: Nothing about what? Freddy: Holy crap. Snake's father: I... I didn't do nothing. I'm not saying nothing. Jane: Oh, come on, Jupiter. Let's be honest here. We'll let your kid throw. Right, Mr. Fitch? Yeah? Freddy: How old are you really, kid? On the bible. Snake: 22. Freddy: You might have a shot... Middle reliever maybe. If you double my cut, he can throw. Deal. Cho: Put your hands behind your back. You're under arrest for the murder of Barney Sloop. Snake: Dad. Snake's father: Man up, kid. Remember to keep the ball low. You get in trouble, throw 'em the slider. Cho: Come on. Jane: I just feel a little bit dizzy. I'm just gonna take a knee. I'm good. Man: Strike three. You're out. Scotty's father: You got lucky on that one. Scotty: I struck him out. Scotty's father: You set him up with the heater. You don't use it for an out, not in that situation. Scotty: I struck him out. Scotty's father: We'll talk about this later. I'm gonna make our deal. Scotty: No, you won't. I hired an agent. Lisbon: Let's go see a doctor. Jane: Why? Are you feeling unwell? Lisbon: No, you are. Cho said you almost fainted. Jane: Oh, it was just pretending. I hate these kind of dramatic scenes. Poor kid. Lisbon: Liar. You just don't want to go to the doctor. Jane: Well, what's a doctor gonna say? "you banged your head. Be careful." Lisbon: You might need an M.R.I. Jane: Now you're really selling it. Sounds great. Lisbon: Are you okay? Jane: Just kidding.

Plan: A: CBI; Q: What team investigates the murder of Barney Sloop? A: a former professional baseball player; Q: What was Barney Sloop's profession? A: his Zen garden; Q: Where was Barney Sloop found dead? A: the founder; Q: What was Barney Sloop's role in the baseball academy? A: his own baseball talent scouting and training facility; Q: What was the baseball academy Barney Sloop founded originally intended to be? A: young up-and-coming baseball talents; Q: Who did Barney Sloop's baseball academy train? A: Jane; Q: Who is hit on the head with a baseball and knocked unconscious during the investigation? A: a stage performer; Q: What was Jane's past career? A: Alex; Q: Who was Jane's father? A: his "psychic" abilities; Q: What does Jane show signs of after being hit by a baseball? A: several people; Q: How many people did the CBI interview? A: his business partner; Q: Who was Freddie? A: double the normal rate; Q: How much did the father of a player on the baseball team pay Freddie? A: the player's father; Q: Who killed Freddie to prevent Sloop from ruining his son's future? A: his son's future; Q: What did the father of the player who was too old to attend the academy want to prevent Sloop from ruining? Summary: The CBI team investigate the murder of Barney Sloop; a former professional baseball player, who is found dead in his Zen garden. The victim had been the founder of a baseball academy, which he started as his own baseball talent scouting and training facility for young up-and-coming baseball talents. During the investigation, Jane is hit on the head with a baseball and knocked unconscious, after which he experiences flashbacks of his past as a stage performer with his father, Alex, and shows signs of his "psychic" abilities. The CBI team interviews several people close to the victim, including his ex-wife and his business partner Freddie. It is revealed that a player on the team was too old to attend the academy, so his father had been paying Freddie double the normal rate. After Sloop found out, the player's father killed him to prevent Sloop from ruining his son's future.

THE WEB OF FEAR by MERVYN HAISMAN and HENRY LINCOLN first broadcast - March 2nd 1968 [SCENE_BREAK] 1. LABORATORY (The DOCTOR, JAMIE, VICTORIA, ANNE, EVANS and the COLONEL watch in horror as two YETI walk in. Following them is the gaunt figure of PROFESSOR TRAVERS. The onlookers gasp as they see him.) JAMIE: Oh no! COLONEL: I just don't understand what's happening! JAMIE: Poor Travers! (There are general murmurings of disbelief, which cut off abruptly as TRAVERS speaks.) TRAVERS: Silence! ANNE: Father! (She steps forward; the DOCTOR restrains her.) DOCTOR: No, no! No! ANNE: But I must... DOCTOR: No, Anne! Don't go near him. Just... just listen to him. (TRAVERS now speaks, but the voice is not his own - it has a hissing, rasping tone to it. The speech is halting, and he takes deep breaths between phrases.) TRAVERS: I... am... the Intelligence! (There are cries of shock and denial from the onlookers.) TRAVERS: Listen to me! I speak to you with this man's voice because the time has come for you to understand my purpose. EVANS: What's he getting at? COLONEL: Quiet! DOCTOR: What do you want? TRAVERS: You defeated me in Tibet, Doctor. DOCTOR: Yes. TRAVERS: Now you have fallen into the trap that I have so carefully prepared for you. (As TRAVERS speaks, a strange thin mist is emanating from his mouth.) DOCTOR: Oh, I see, so that's why you've brought me here. Revenge! TRAVERS: Oh, no. Revenge is a very human emotion. My purpose for you is far more interesting. DOCTOR: And what's that? TRAVERS: Through time and space, I have observed you, Doctor. Your mind surpasses that of all other creatures. DOCTOR: (Shouting.) What do you want? TRAVERS: You! Your mind will be invaluable to me. Therefore I have invented a machine that will drain all past knowledge and experience from your mind. VICTORIA: But you'll kill him! TRAVERS: Oh, no. He will survive, his mind unharmed - only empty as a newborn child's. DOCTOR: And if I refuse? TRAVERS: Then I shall have to seek the help of lesser mortals, like your companions here. And many, many others. DOCTOR: But you can't! TRAVERS: I can and I will. DOCTOR: Yes, I believe you. JAMIE: You can't - we'll fight! TRAVERS: That will not do. The Doctor must submit willingly. DOCTOR: And if I... if I do submit, what of the others? TRAVERS: Then the others will go free. ANNE: And my father too? TRAVERS: Oh, him too. I'm only using his body to communicate with you. ANNE: He didn't help you before, then? TRAVERS: Oh, no. I have many other human hands at my command. DOCTOR: And who are they? TRAVERS: Always questioning! Even now, you're seeking to destroy me! I see I shall have to guide your thoughts. (TRAVERS steps forward and grabs VICTORIA, who cries out in alarm. JAMIE starts forward, but the YETI roar in warning. The DOCTOR holds him back.) DOCTOR: No, Jamie, no! TRAVERS: Cooperate and the child will be unharmed. You have twenty minutes to make up your mind. (Still holding VICTORIA, he turns to leave, followed by the YETI.) JAMIE: Let me go, Doctor! DOCTOR: Jamie, don't be a fool! You don't stand a chance. JAMIE: Let me go! Victoria! (He calls forlornly after the departed YETI, and shakes himself free of the DOCTOR's grip. The COLONEL steps forward, shuts the door and stands in front of it.) JAMIE: Let me past, Colonel! COLONEL: No. The Doctor's right. There've been enough lives wasted. JAMIE: And what are we going to do? Just sit around and wait for the next thing to happen? COLONEL: Don't be a fool, boy! Can't fight those things bare-handed. We must work out a plan! JAMIE: Well you do what you want - I'm going. (He pushes past the COLONEL and pulls the door open to see a YETI standing guard just outside. The YETI roars, and JAMIE closes the door again.) DOCTOR: He left one of those things there to stop us getting away. Now Victoria is quite safe. JAMIE: Safe! DOCTOR: The Intelligence knows that if it harms her, I won't cooperate. ANNE: Does that go for my father too? DOCTOR: Yes, Anne, it does. ANNE: Oh, are you sure? DOCTOR: Yes, I'm sure! EVANS: Permission to speak, sir. COLONEL: Eh? Yes, what is it, Evans? EVANS: Well, stop me if I've got it wrong, sir, but... if this Intelligence thing here gets the Doctor, will he leave us all alone? COLONEL: Yes, that's what it looks like. What's in your mind? EVANS: Well, sir, why don't we just let it have him? Then we could all go home! [SCENE_BREAK] 2. TUNNEL (TRAVERS's possessed body drags VICTORIA through the tunnels. A YETI is in attendance.) VICTORIA: Please... my wrist... Professor! (There is a distant bleeping in the tunnel ahead.) VICTORIA: Professor, please, you're hurting me! My wrist! Professor! (TRAVERS is unmoved; he keeps hold and stares blankly ahead, heading towards the bleeps like a zombie.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3. LABORATORY COLONEL: Will this Intelligence keep its word, do you think? JAMIE: Well it didn't in Tibet! DOCTOR: Jamie! EVANS: Least ways, it's a chance. JAMIE: But it's not you that's taking the risk, is it? EVANS: I reckon he ought to give himself up now. COLONEL: Evans, when I want your opinion I'll ask for it! EVANS: Sorry, sir. DOCTOR: It's alright, Evans. If I don't come up with the answer, I will give myself up, I promise. EVANS: That's OK then. JAMIE: You will not give yourself up. DOCTOR: Don't be foolish, Jamie! JAMIE: But Victoria! DOCTOR: She will be your responsibility. And when it's all over, you'll just both have to look after me, that's all. JAMIE: Eh? DOCTOR: Well, if what the Intelligence says is true, my mind will be like that of a child. You'll have to look after me until I grow up! JAMIE: Oh. DOCTOR: Don't worry - I'm going to try not to let it happen. (During the conversation, EVANS has moved over to the door. He now cuts in.) EVANS: Eh! Wait a minute! COLONEL: What is it, Evans, what's the matter now? EVANS: Stand back everyone! (He cautiously opens the door ajar, looks carefully through, then pulls the door fully open. The YETI guard has gone.) EVANS: I thought I heard it go! COLONEL: Yes, well we'd better make sure. Evans - you, myself and McCrimmon will go and search the place. Doctor, you'd better stay behind here and get on with your tinkering. (The COLONEL, JAMIE and EVANS leave. The DOCTOR turns back to the gadget he's assembling at the work bench, watched by ANNE.) ANNE: You're not seriously thinking of giving yourself up to those creatures, are you? DOCTOR: Well I sincerely hope it won't come to that, Anne. ANNE: It's so hopeless. What can we do? DOCTOR: This control box - we've got to get it working! ANNE: Doctor, we've only got twenty minutes. DOCTOR: Then there's no time to lose, is there? Oh come on, Anne, don't give up. I need your help! ANNE: (Smiles.) Yes, yes of course. DOCTOR: Right. Now hand me that sphere, will you? [SCENE_BREAK] 4. CORRIDOR (JAMIE, EVANS and the COLONEL continue their search of the Fortress.) JAMIE: I suppose that Yeti was left there as a kind of rearguard. COLONEL: Possibly. JAMIE: If we went into the tunnels, we'd run into them again. COLONEL: Yes, probably would. JAMIE: But supposing we were to go over the top? You see, Colonel, as I see it, there's only one way for them to go - south. COLONEL: Yes? JAMIE: So if we could get there ahead of them... COLONEL: What, take them by surprise, you mean? JAMIE: Aye! COLONEL: What's the point? You can't fight those things. I know, I've tried. EVANS: Anyway, we'd never get back in, sir. All the stations are locked. JAMIE: We might find one that's open. I mean, after all, the Yeti get in and out - why can't we? EVANS: Well, reckon we're safer here, sir. JAMIE: Aye, we are. But what about Victoria and Travers, eh? Oh, if you're both too scared, I'll go myself! (JAMIE heads off.) COLONEL: Wait a minute, McCrimmon! (JAMIE stops and turns round.) COLONEL: I think it's pointless, but at least we'll be doing something active. EVANS: What about the Doctor and Miss Travers, sir? COLONEL: Oh, yes. Mustn't leave them unprotected. You stay here, Evans. EVANS: Right, sir. COLONEL: And don't go taking any chances! (The COLONEL and JAMIE leave.) EVANS: (To himself.) Don't worry, I won't! [SCENE_BREAK] 5. LABORATORY (The DOCTOR and ANNE continue their work. The DOCTOR is adjusting some wires with a pair of tweezers.) DOCTOR: ...and the cross wires here. Hmm? ANNE: I still don't see how you can... DOCTOR: Well, I haven't finished yet. Now if you detach the germanium crystal strip here, and then attach the collector and the emitter... ANNE: Yes, yes, and link up there - of course! Then the frequency variations, they'll automatically change! DOCTOR: Simple? ANNE: Yes! DOCTOR: Right. You get on with that, and I'll just check this sphere. (He turns his attention to the inner workings of the YETI control sphere.) DOCTOR: Yes... yes, that should complete the circuit, good... I wonder... [SCENE_BREAK] 6. SURFACE ENTRANCE (The door from the Fortress to the surface is closed. JAMIE and the COLONEL stand just inside, ready to open it.) JAMIE: There's only one way to find out. COLONEL: Yes. Certainly no sound out there. JAMIE: Shall we chance it, then? COLONEL: Why not? (JAMIE puts his hands on the door handle, and waits for the COLONEL's signal.) COLONEL: Now! (JAMIE opens the door. Covering the entrance is a thick wall of billowing, glowing fungus!.) JAMIE: No! Back! No! (He throws himself against the door as the fungus starts to burst in. The COLONEL helps, and they both push against the huge weight of fungus.) COLONEL: Push! Push! Push, hard as you can! Push, get your back to it! Get your back to it! (The two men both turn their backs against the door and shove with all their strength, but the weight of fungus is too much. It continues to spill through the doorway.) COLONEL: Fire door - by the stairs - go and unhitch it, and I'll try to hold this. Go on, McCrimmon! JAMIE: You sure? COLONEL: Yes, go on! Go on! (JAMIE races back down the corridor, while the COLONEL tries in vain to hold the door against the mass of fungus. After a moment, JAMIE shouts back.) JAMIE: (OOV.) Alright, Colonel, come on! (The COLONEL gives up holding out against the fungus, and sprints down the corridor. As he goes, the fungus engulfs the entrance and spills along after him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7. LABORATORY (While ANNE works on a small electronic box, the DOCTOR examines the now reassembled control sphere on the workbench. The sphere appears totally inactive.) DOCTOR: Strange, it's not picking up. The Intelligence must be transmitting... I wonder why it's not working... (He thumps the sphere, which immediately starts bleeping.) DOCTOR: Aha! Success! It's going, Anne! (To sphere.) Come along. ANNE: Oh, oh that's marvellous. I'm sorry I'm being so long - this is such a fiddling job. DOCTOR: Help you in a minute... (He puts the sphere at one end of the bench.) DOCTOR: There we are. Now then... (The sphere rolls across the bench.) DOCTOR: Yes, you see, it's homing! (He retrieves the sphere before it can roll off the edge of the bench, and puts it on the floor. The sphere rolls off again.) DOCTOR: There we are... fairly strongly... (He claps his hands and cackles with glee. The door opens and JAMIE and the COLONEL walk in; the DOCTOR turns in alarm as the sphere heads straight for the door.) JAMIE: Doctor! DOCTOR: Careful - shut the door! COLONEL: Sorry. (He and JAMIE slam the door closed before the sphere can escape.) ANNE: The sphere! The sphere, it's working. JAMIE: Never mind about that. DOCTOR: Why, what's happened? (He picks up the sphere.) JAMIE: We tried to get out the surface door, but the fungus is there! DOCTOR: Well, I'm not surprised - I thought the Intelligence would try to hem us in. COLONEL: Yes, unfortunately it's got into HQ. ANNE: What? COLONEL: Don't worry. Managed to get a fire door closed. Should hold it. ANNE: I hope you're right. DOCTOR: Come on, Anne, we must get to work. COLONEL: Doctor, tell me, this sphere of yours. Exactly how's it going to help us? DOCTOR: Well the sphere itself - it won't. JAMIE: Eh? DOCTOR: No. But it will help us to test the control box. JAMIE: Is that all? DOCTOR: All? JAMIE: You mean to say you've wasted all this time, just to... DOCTOR: Wasted - we haven't been wasting our time! JAMIE: Well I think you have! COLONEL: Must agree with the boy, Doctor. You don't seem to have achieved very much. ANNE: Colonel, if you left us alone we'd get along a lot quicker. COLONEL: Huh? Oh, very well. Come on, McCrimmon, we'll leave them to it. (Sighing, he leaves with JAMIE and shuts the door.) DOCTOR: Right, Anne. Let's get on with this control box. (He puts the control sphere down on the bench, and laughs as it bleeps and rolls off again.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8. CORRIDOR (Just outside the door to the Operations Room. JAMIE and the COLONEL prepare to enter the room.) COLONEL: Right, let's have a look at this board. (He opens the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9. OPERATIONS ROOM (As they enter, EVANS appears from behind the door, pointing a rifle at them.) COLONEL: Evans! What exactly do you think you're playing at? EVANS: Been working it out, I have, see. Come to the conclusion one of you two must be working for this Intelligence. JAMIE: Oh for heaven's sake... EVANS: No! It told us it had another pair of hands working for it. Well I know it's not me, see, so it must be one of you two. Stands to reason, dunnit? JAMIE: Oh, don't be daft, man, it's Chorley! I've said so all along. EVANS: Well, it's only natural you'd say that, ain't it? COLONEL: I don't know what you're talking about, Evans, and quite frankly I don't care. Now McCrimmon and I are going out into the tunnels. You'd better join the Doctor and Miss Travers. (EVANS points with the rifle.) EVANS: If it's all the same to you, sir, I'd prefer to stay here. COLONEL: Evans, I gave you an order. EVANS: A better position here, sir - keep an eye on the corridors, I can. Better tactically, don't you think, sir? (The COLONEL and JAMIE push past, ignoring EVANS and the rifle, and head for the exit.) [SCENE_BREAK] 10. PICCADILLY STATION PLATFORM (TRAVERS and VICTORIA are guarded on the station platform by a YETI with a web-gun. TRAVERS still holds VICTORIA's wrist firmly, but is otherwise standing motionless, as if in a trance.) VICTORIA: Please, Professor, let me go. I won't try to escape. Oh, please! (As she pleads, she hears the raucous whispering voice of the Intelligence, seemingly from all around her.) INTELLIGENCE: Release her, Professor. As she says, she will not escape. There is nothing for you to be afraid of, child. (VICTORIA looks around, trying to locate the source of the voice.) VICTORIA: Isn't there?... Where are you? INTELLIGENCE: Nearby. VICTORIA: Why don't you show yourself? INTELLIGENCE: All in good time. Travers, you have served your purpose. Awake! (TRAVERS suddenly comes out of his trance, slumps against the platform wall and collapses to the ground in shock. VICTORIA catches him as he falls.) INTELLIGENCE: Soon you will both see me. (TRAVERS tries to gather his senses. He speaks dazedly, but his voice is again his own.) TRAVERS: What's happened? Where are we? VICTORIA: I think you'd better rest for a bit. TRAVERS: Rest? No... work to do. I've got to help the Doctor! (He catches sight of the YETI guard, and whispers to VICTORIA.) TRAVERS: Don't run, Victoria, but there's a Yeti, over there, on the platform. VICTORIA: I know. TRAVERS: Yes, well we'll try and give it the slip... what did you say? VICTORIA: I know. That's the one that brought us here. TRAVERS: What? (VICTORIA hesitates.) TRAVERS: Well, come on, Victoria... (He gets to his feet, and the two of them quietly move along the platform towards the motionless YETI. As they pass it, the giant creature springs to life and looks menacingly at them. VICTORIA screams as the YETI roars a savage warning.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11. LABORATORY (The DOCTOR works on the control box, while the sphere bleeps by the door, monitored by ANNE.) ANNE: Doctor... Doctor, do hurry! DOCTOR: Nearly ready... there. Now then, let's see if it works. (The DOCTOR flicks a switch on the box and looks expectantly at the sphere. It continues bleeping.) ANNE: Isn't it at full power? DOCTOR: Yes. ANNE: Then we've failed. DOCTOR: Hang on a minute... (He moves closer to the sphere, still flicking the switch. As he approaches, the sphere suddenly stops bleeping.) DOCTOR: Aha! ANNE: Oh, it works! DOCTOR: Back you come. (He flicks another switch, and the sphere rolls towards him.) DOCTOR: Yes, the trouble is, it only works at very short range. ANNE: But still, that's better than nothing. So now what do we do? DOCTOR: Well, we know that your control box can stop a Yeti. Now then, if I can re-program this sphere to obey our verbal commands... ANNE: Yes, but can we do it? I mean, in the time? DOCTOR: How long have we got? (ANNE looks at her watch.) ANNE: Twelve minutes. (The DOCTOR grunts.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12. TUNNEL (JAMIE and the COLONEL edge carefully through the tunnels. They come to a junction.) COLONEL: Do we go on or turn back? JAMIE: Let's go on. COLONEL: Right. (He moves off down one of the turnings, then stops and turns as he realises JAMIE hasn't followed him.) COLONEL: Come on, what are you waiting for? (He goes back to the junction.) JAMIE: What made you choose this turning, Colonel? COLONEL: What? Well, I don't know really. Why? (JAMIE is silent.) COLONEL: You're not still thinking about what Evans said, are you? JAMIE: Well, he was right about one thing. One of us is working with the Intelligence. COLONEL: I can assure you it's not me, McCrimmon. JAMIE: Aye, maybe so. (They look at each other suspiciously for a moment, then the COLONEL grunts and leads off. JAMIE follows, then calls ahead as he sees something lying between the rails.) JAMIE: Hey, wait a minute! (He picks up the object - a white handkerchief.) JAMIE: This is Victoria's! We're on the right track! [SCENE_BREAK] 13. PICCADILLY STATION PLATFORM (TRAVERS and VICTORIA are still guarded by the YETI.) TRAVERS: Anne's alright, you say? VICTORIA: Don't worry, Professor. The Doctor's bound to come up with something. TRAVERS: I wish I shared your confidence, my dear. (Over the steady bleeping noise of the YETI, he hears a faint noise coming from the tunnels.) TRAVERS: Hello, what's happening? (The two humans watch as a figure emerges from the tunnel, unseen by the YETI. The figure is wounded and the face is covered with dirt, but it is still instantly recognisable as ARNOLD. After checking that the YETI guard is not looking, he crawls along the tracks, below the level of the platform, towards TRAVERS. The Professor moves to the edge of the platform and whispers down to him.) TRAVERS: Arnold! How'd you get here! I thought - well Victoria said... ARNOLD: What... what's happened, sir? TRAVERS: Sssh! Just a moment... (He glances across to the YETI, who still stands motionless.) TRAVERS: Do you think you can get to HQ? ARNOLD: I can try, sir. TRAVERS: Yeah, well get hold of the Doctor, and tell him where we are. ARNOLD: Right, sir. (He quietly sneaks back to the tunnel. TRAVERS moves back to rejoin VICTORIA.) VICTORIA: Can't we go with him? TRAVERS: No, Victoria. That Yeti's guarding us. if we go, it'll follow. I don't think they've found out about Arnold yet. [SCENE_BREAK] 14. CORRIDOR (Back at the Fortress, the Doctor's bleeping control sphere rolls across the floor of a corridor, and goes through the door to the Operation Room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 15. OPERATIONS ROOM (EVANS sees the sphere and immediately jumps onto a chair in panic. The DOCTOR and ANNE come in to find the Welshman pointing his rifle at the sphere.) DOCTOR: No, don't shoot! (EVANS lowers his rifle.) EVANS: Is that thing on our side, then? DOCTOR: It is now. (To the sphere.) Stop! (The sphere stops bleeping, and the DOCTOR picks it up.) DOCTOR: Were you scared? EVANS: Eh? Oh no, no, I mean, I just got up here to get a better aim, that's all. How did you make it stop then? DOCTOR: Simple - I told it to. (EVANS looks at him in disbelief. The DOCTOR puts the sphere down and motions to EVANS to try.) EVANS: Here - ball. Why don't you go back where you come from? (The sphere does nothing.) EVANS: Now, pull the other one. ANNE: Oh, show him, Doctor. DOCTOR: Alright, I will. Move forward. (The sphere bleeps and obeys.) DOCTOR: Stop... Move to the left... Stop. (The sphere obeys each of the DOCTOR's commands.) DOCTOR: There you are, how about that? EVANS: Hey, that's great! Make a smashing toy, that would. ANNE: Toy? That's a highly complex piece of equipment. EVANS: Oh, is it? Well I don't see how it's going to help us. DOCTOR: But it obeys our commands! EVANS: So? DOCTOR: Well, once we get it inside a Yeti, we'll have a powerful ally! EVANS: (Horrified.) Inside a Yeti? ANNE: Yes, certainly. Will you help us? EVANS: You must be joking, Go near one of them things? I may be stupid, but I'm not daft... DOCTOR: Oh very well, Anne, I shall have to do it myself. ANNE: Oh, I'm coming with you, Doctor. DOCTOR: No no, it's far too dangerous. EVANS: There you are, what'd I tell you? ANNE: Not another word, I'm coming with you. (They leave. EVANS stays behind, sighing.) [SCENE_BREAK] 16. TUNNEL (The COLONEL and JAMIE see a figure ahead in the shadows. They move closer to get a better look.) COLONEL: Staff Arnold? It can't be, we'd given you up for lost! (ARNOLD looks worn out and near to collapse. He staggers.) JAMIE: Easy, easy... (He helps ARNOLD stand.) JAMIE: That's it. ARNOLD: Sorry about this, sir. JAMIE: What happened? ARNOLD: I don't know. Can't remember. I were pushing the trolley through the fungus, and... and I blacked out. I thought I were... falling. When I come to, sir, I were in the tunnels... Where's the Doctor, sir? I met the Professor and the girl back there... JAMIE: Victoria! Is she alright? ARNOLD: Yeti - guarding them, but... I promised I'd tell the Doctor, sir. COLONEL: Right. Come on, back to HQ. JAMIE: I'm going for Victoria. COLONEL: Really, we'd stand a better chance if we stick together. Go ahead! Come on, Staff. (JAMIE moves on in front, the COLONEL behind supporting ARNOLD, and they head back towards Goodge Street.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17. PICCADILLY STATION PLATFORM (TRAVERS looks at his watch and sighs.) TRAVERS: Doctor's twenty minutes' almost up. (A fast bleeping noise as a second YETI emerges from the station to the join their guard.) VICTORIA: Professor...? (The two YETI surround them and herd them towards the corridor leading into the station.) VICTORIA: Where are they taking us? TRAVERS: Now keep calm, Victoria. I'm sure the Doctor will think of something. (VICTORIA, unconvinced, looks worriedly at the YETI guards.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18. OPERATIONS ROOM (EVANS hears noises in the corridor outside, and hides. The COLONEL, ARNOLD and JAMIE walk into the room, look around, and immediately see him.) COLONEL: Evans, come out from behind that board. (EVANS cautiously appears.) EVANS: Oh, it's you, sir. COLONEL: Where's the Doctor? (He is answered with a guilty silence.) COLONEL: Evans! (EVANS starts stammering in panic.) EVANS: B-b-but y-y-y-you... ARNOLD: Stop bleating like a Welsh baa-lamb, Evans, and answer the Colonel. EVANS: Sir? COLONEL: Doctor and Miss Travers, where are they? EVANS: Gone, sir. JAMIE: Gone - where? EVANS: Warren Street, I think. JAMIE: Why? EVANS: After a Yeti, they said. ARNOLD: Have a look at the board, sir. (He goes over to the illuminated map of the Underground, which shows only a small stretch around Goodge Street still clear of the fungus. ARNOLD points to a point on the map.) ARNOLD: Warren Street. (The black line is spreading south towards the station.) JAMIE: Come on! (He makes to go. ARNOLD follows.) COLONEL: No, not you, Staff. Evans, make yourself useful. Get a dressing for the Staff Sergeant's head. EVANS: Yes, sir. ARNOLD: Thank you, sir. (The others leave.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19. TUNNEL (The DOCTOR, holding his control sphere, and ANNE stand by a wall of the fungus. The DOCTOR examines it.) DOCTOR: Do you think it's mutating, Anne? ANNE: I... I don't know, but I don't think we'll stay and find out. DOCTOR: No, perhaps you're right. (They turn away, to find a YETI standing in the tunnel behind them.) ANNE: We're trapped! (The YETI starts bleeping, roars and advances.) DOCTOR: Give me the control box, Anne. ANNE: The control box... DOCTOR: Yes. ANNE: Haven't you got it, Doctor? DOCTOR: What! What... hold the sphere! ANNE: Oh Doctor, you must have it! (The DOCTOR frantically searches through his pockets as the YETI comes ever nearer.) DOCTOR: Yes... (He pulls the control box out from a pocket. He presses several buttons, but they have no effect. The YETI still gets closer.) ANNE: Doctor! DOCTOR: Don't worry, it'll work!... It's got to work! (The YETI comes within striking distance. As the DOCTOR frantically fiddles with the switches on the box, the creature raises its right arm to strike out at him... then stops, motionless. ANNE gasps with relief.) ANNE: I know you said it only worked at short range, but for a moment... DOCTOR: (Grins.) Well, don't tell me you were worried? Would you like to hold this for me? (He gives ANNE the control box, goes to the now lifeless YETI and looks for the flap in its chest. ANNE watches, worried.) DOCTOR: It's alright, it's quite safe. (He finds the flap, opens it, and gently manoeuvres the YETI's control sphere out.) DOCTOR: Nearly out... there. (He takes the sphere and swaps it with the one ANNE is holding.) DOCTOR: Right. (He fits the replacement sphere into the YETI and closes the flap of fur.) DOCTOR: Now then - turn round! (The DOCTOR laughs gleefully as the YETI obeys.) ANNE: Oh, it works! You've done it! DOCTOR: We've done it, you mean! Now then, with my reprogrammed sphere and your control box, we should be able to work him over quite a distance. (To the YETI.) And put your arm down! (The YETI does so.) DOCTOR: Now we've got a chance, Anne. Come on! (The two of them move off; the YETI stays motionless.) DOCTOR: Oh, mustn't forget him. Come on, Fred, at the double! (The YETI bleeps and follows them.) [SCENE_BREAK] 20. COMMON ROOM (ARNOLD sits on a chair while EVANS tends to his wounds.) EVANS: Hold still, can't you? ARNOLD: Oh come on, Evans, get on wi' it! (EVANS finishes, and steps back to admire his handiwork.) EVANS: I reckon I ought to have been a doctor. Real professional, that is. ARNOLD: (Smiles.) Alright then, doctor. Take your gear back to the lab. EVANS: Oh, righto then. ARNOLD: And when you've done that, you can come back and shift that chair. (EVANS picks up the First Aid equipment and heads off towards the laboratory. After a moment, he calls back in panic.) EVANS: (OOV.) Staff! Staff! ARNOLD: What is it? (ARNOLD jumps to his feet and runs out.) [SCENE_BREAK] 21. LABORATORY (ARNOLD comes running in to join EVANS.) ARNOLD: What is it, Evans? (EVANS makes choking noises, and points at the far wall, which is bulging inwards under an enormous pressure.) ARNOLD: Go on, Evans lad, get out of it! (EVANS turns and runs, closely followed by ARNOLD. As they go, the far wall disintegrates, giving way to a mass of glowing fungus which floods unhindered into the Fortress...)

Plan: A: prisoner; Q: What are Victoria and Travers held by the Great Intelligence? A: the Doctor's mind; Q: What is the Great Intelligence planning to drain? Summary: Victoria and Travers are held prisoner by the Great Intelligence, who is planning to drain the Doctor's mind.

NB : Throughout this script the 'original' Captain Jack is referred to as 'The Captain' and 'Torchwood' Captain Jack is referred to as Jack. Opening shots and series recap JACK : (VO) Torchwood. Outside the government, beyond the police. Tracking down alien life on earth and arming the human race against the future. The 21st century is when everything changes and you gotta be ready. EXT. DANCE HALL - PRESENT - DAY The Torchwood SUV comes down the road towards the dance hall, horn honking as it crosses an intersecting road without stopping. The SUV stops outside the dance hall and Jack and Toshiko exit the vehicle. Toshiko is dressed up to go out and taking on her mobile phone in Japanese. Jack approaches the entrance of the dance hall. Toshiko explains her conversation as she walks towards him. TOSHIKO : My grandfather's eighty-eight birthday today. JACK : Oh, I thought you'd gone to all this trouble for me. TOSHIKO : Huh. Eighty-eight is a joyous year for the Japanese. I'm off to London to watch grown men throw rice. JACK : You can get that in the balti after stop-tap. Okay, down to business, what have we got ? They enter the dance hall. Fly posters litter the front door - 'Vote Saxon' among others. Inside the furniture is covered in sheets, empty for years. They look around the lobby and up the stairwell. TOSHIKO : The Ritz Dance Hall, it's been derelict since 1989, but someone's complained about hearing music drifting out. Jack jogs up the main stairs - a wide staircase with a landing halfway up. TOSHIKO : Music from the 1940s. Jack pauses on the stairs and looks upwards. JACK : Sshh. Music can be heard drifting down the stairs. JACK : Listen. Coming up ? Jack jogs the rest of the way up the staircase smiling to himself, Toshiko following a little more reluctantly. The open a tall door and enter a large open hall. The décor hasn't been changed but the furniture has been covered with dust sheets. JACK : Wow, look at the chandelier. No neon lights back then. Just dashing young soldiers... Jack happily offers his hand to Toshiko spins her around to his chest, dancing. JACK : ...and pretty young ladies. And as they danced the girls would look into their partner's eyes, smile softly and say... Jack spins Toshiko who looses her balance slightly. TOSHIKO : Jack, mind my laptop. They continue through the dance hall and walk down a back staircase at the opposite side of the room. A large piece of graffiti art has been painted on the landing wall - Bad Wolf. They pause on the stairs, Jack putting a hand to Toshiko's elbow as she uses a piece of equipment. JACK : Come on. There's nothing here but memories and dust. Jack takes two steps and the sound of music and people enjoying themselves drifts down from above. Jack and Toshiko look at each other and return upstairs. INT. DANCE HALL - 1941 They re-enter the dance hall to find it full of people. WWII uniformed military men and young women dance to a band playing on the stage. TOSHIKO : They look so real. Jack checks his wrist cuff while Toshiko looks about. JACK : They're not ghosts, it's a simple temporal shift, and it's beautiful ! TOSHIKO : We should get out. Jack nods and they head outside via the front stairs past a small bar. Bilis holds the door open for them as they leave. BILIS : Do call again. JACK : I would love to. Bilis looses his congenial expression as Jack leaves the premises closing the door behind them. EXT. DANCE HALL - 1941 - NIGHT The exterior of the dance hall is now fly-poster free as they leave the building. TOSHIKO : It's night. Jack leads the way down the few steps. A train steam horn sounds in the distance and union flags and bunting decorate the building. The street outside is now empty of cars. TOSHIKO : Where's the SUV ? Has it been stolen ? Toshiko looks around panicking while Jack checks his wrist cuff and looks up to see a poster advertising : '1941 Kiss The Boys Goodbye Dance. Saturday 20th January 1941 7.30 pm at the Ritz'. JACK : No. We have. OPENING CREDITS Owen lies asleep on the Hub sofa. The sound of an alarm drags him from his slumber. He looks round to see Ianto standing before Toshiko's computer looking at the rift monitor which is emitting the alarm. OWEN : What the hell is that ? IANTO : Tosh's rift monitor programme, she set it to alert me if there were any further movements. Owen sits up groggily IANTO : The rift's been opening more and more recently. Owen breathes on his hand and pulls a face before answering. OWEN : Yeah well, anyone can notice that, doesn't take a genius. Owen gets up and moves to stand by Ianto, looking at the monitor. IANTO : Tosh recons the equations are forming some sort of pattern, I should call her. Ianto puts a hand to his ear to call her over the com. IANTO : She may have readings her end and this is a bit over my head. OWEN : Erm, why wasn't I told about this ? IANTO : Well, you've been, off, haven't you ? Line's dead. EXT. DANCE HALL - 1941 Toshiko tries to use her phone to connect but it does not work. TOSHIKO : It's no use, it's dead. Can't get through to the hub. Jack puts a guiding arm around Toshiko's shoulders. JACK : Let's get back inside, that's where we were when we crossed. Jack guides Toshiko back into the dance hall. INT. GWEN'S CAR - DAY Ianto speaks to Gwen, who sits in her car, over the com. IANTO : (Over com) Gwen, could you get down to Stage Street ? GWEN : Yeah, what's up ? IANTO : (Over com) We need to get hold of Tosh... [SCENE_BREAK] THE HUB - TOSHIKO'S STATION Owen works on Toshiko's computer while Ianto speaks to Gwen. IANTO : ...The rift monitor sounded off. She's with Jack but both the phones are dead and we can't access her files. GWEN : (Over com) Okay, I'll get down there now. INT. DANCE HALL - 1941 TOSHIKO : We really are in 1941. What if we can't get back ? JACK : Flotsam and jetsam, slips through all the time, we'll get back. Look on the bright side, gives you one hell of an excuse not to go to your party ! TOSHIKO : I have a life there ! And they can't help us back in the hub because I have the latest readings in here ! (indicating her laptop). The people standing at the bar nearby look round at Toshiko's raised voice. TOSHIKO : People are staring at us. Jack removes his earpiece and takes Tosh's laptop bag and coat. JACK : We need to try to blend in. TOSHIKO : Easy for you to say, I'm the only Asian here. JACK : Don't worry, you're with the Captain. Jack puts a comforting arm back round Tosh's shoulders, fitting in perfectly, and guides her to the bar. INT. THE HUB - TOSHIKO'S STATION Owen looks through the rift monitor history, scrolling through complex equations on the screen. As he opens a list of equations he call's Ianto over. OWEN : Hey. I've got into Tosh's files. All her reports. December 24th, that's when Diane flew through the rift. I had to let her go. IANTO : You were in love with her weren't you ? Owen ignores Ianto's attempt at understanding and friendship, not wanting to talk about it even though he brought the subject up. OWEN : If Tosh knows a way of opening the rift maybe we can get Diane back. IANTO : Jack would never allow it, opening the rift could devastate the city. Owen glances at Ianto, ignoring his advice, and walks off. Ianto rolls his eyes, used to Owen's tantrums and follows. INT. DANCE HALL - 1941 A female singer sings a love song on the stage and Jack and Toshiko go to the bar. A young soldier walks over as Jack orders, looking at Toshiko. JACK : Water please, and a brandy. GEORGE : I haven't seen you in here before. BARMAN : Three and six please, sir. Jack checks his pockets and realises that he doesn't have any of the correct currency - he doesn't actually belong here at the moment. George notices. GEORGE : I'll er, get 'em. George hands a note to the barman, looking at Toshiko as he does so. JACK : Thank you. GEORGE : On one condition. JACK : What ? George grabs Toshiko and drags her off to dance. Jack, laughing, leans on a nearby pillar to watch. A woman moves in front of him next to another soldier and voices her disgust. AUDREY : Why is George doing dancing with a Jap ? Jack's smile fades as he hears her. Toshiko dancing very poorly with George. EXT. DANCE HALL - PRESENT Gwen pulls up outside the dancehall behind the SUV and calls into the hub. GWEN : The SUV's here. They must be here somewhere. Gwen enters the dancehall and goes upstairs, shining a torch through the dark shadows of the room. GWEN : Jack ? Tosh ? As Gwen reaches the centre of the room she hears music behind her. GWEN : Jack ? INT. DANCE HALL - 1941 Jack hears his name and looks behind him to where Gwen stands in the present. Toshiko catches his eye, begging for help and Jack dutifully goes to assist, tapping George on the shoulder. JACK : Do you mind ? GEORGE : I'm only borrowin' her mate. JACK : Maybe she doesn't wanna be borrowed. GEORGE : You wanna make something of it ? JACK : You can always dance with me if you'd like. George pushes Jack away from him forcefully, resenting the implication. JACK : Okay, I'll lead, you follow. Jack shoves George back, and turns to leave. JACK : Come on, Tosh. George grabs Jack's jacket and punches him hard in the face. As he staggers back slightly Toshiko tries to stop him. The band have stopped playing and the other dancers have turned to watch the disturbance. TOSHIKO : Jack. Jack ignores her and, annoyed now, shoves George to the floor. Toshiko clutches at him again. TOSHIKO : Jack, we're meant to be blending in ! Before Jack can continue the fight another soldier steps in between them facing George. THE CAPTAIN : Cut it out kiddo. George doesn't answer but glares at Jack. The Captain turns to apologise to him. THE CAPTAIN : Sorry about that, men are a bit lively tonight. Last day of out tomorrow. Apologise to the gentleman, George. GEORGE : I was only dancing... THE CAPTAIN : I think it was your fist in his face he didn't like, not your foxtrot. Jack smiles and George apologises like a school child. GEORGE : I'm sorry. JACK : It's okay, you barely got me. The Captain smiles while George laughs. THE CAPTAIN : I think the lady also deserves an apology. GEORGE : Sorry. TOSHIKO : Apology accepted. Jack turns to leave. SMILER : Let's get a drink, George. The Captain catches up with Jack to make introductions. THE CAPTAIN : Hey ! Are you a volunteer too ? JACK : Yeah. THE CAPTAIN & JACK : (In unison) I'm Captain Ja... They each laugh, still shaking hands. JACK : You go first. THE CAPTAIN : Captain Jack Harkness, 133rd squadron. Jack's face falls as realisation dawns, in that instant a thin, elderly dapper looking gentleman points a camera at them - Bilis. BILIS : Look this way please. The Captain smiles politely for the photograph, Jack, still holding The Captain's hand looks dumbfounded at the Captain. INT. THE HUB - BOARD ROOM Owen looks at bits of paper strew across the table. OWEN : Right, The Ritz Dance Hall, opened in 1932, shut down in 1989, due to be demolished... in one week. Yeah, the report of music is from the 1940s Ianto looks at newspaper articles and information scrolling onto the wall monitor. A photograph of a group of young, smiling soldiers appears on screen. IANTO : All those young soldiers. Owen, look. A further picture appears on screen - the photograph just taken by Bilis of Jack and the Captain, Toshiko looking at them at the side of the shot. Owen joins Ianto to look. IANTO : There. INT. DANCE HALL - 1941 Bilis removes the photograph from the camera and hands the camera to someone else. He walks over to Jack and the Captain and stands between them. BILIS : One more for the record, Sir. I insist. They all look towards the camera. BILIS : Thank you, gentlemen. As Bilis moves away, Jack seizes the opportunity to leave with Toshiko but The Captain stops him. JACK : I should be heading... THE CAPTAIN : I didn't catch your names. TOSHIKO : Toshiko Sato. JACK : I'm Captain James Harper, seventy first. His response is seamless, either used previously or quickly thought of while the photographs were taken. THE CAPTAIN : Seventy first ? That's where I'm hoping to be posted next. What's your poison ? JACK : Maybe later, my friend and I were in the middle of something. THE CAPTAIN : Sure. The Captain looks a little disappointed but smiles and leaves. Jack walks away followed by Toshiko into a quieter corridor. TOSHIKO : Why does that man have your name ? Jack doesn't answer but Toshiko demands, refusing to accept his usual reticence. TOSHIKO : I'm lost enough here without you holding back on me ! Jack stops walking and turns towards her, knowing he will have to tell her something. JACK : It's not my name, it's his. I took his, I didn't realise he was, so hot. TOSHIKO : Jack ! Jack stops smiling at Toshiko's frustration. JACK : I know too much. TOSHIKO : Then, share. JACK : You wouldn't want that, trust me. We have to get back. What's in here ? He indicates her laptop. Getting back is now in Jack's interests and he knows the subject will avert Toshiko's attention. TOSHIKO : I've got half the equation in here, the other half's back at the hub. If I can find some way of getting these figures back to base then they can combine them and open the rift and bring us back through. Jack smiles and takes Toshiko's hand. JACK : Come on. INT. DANCE HALL - PRESENT Gwen walks through the dance hall, speaking to Owen and Ianto at the hub. She checks doors as she moves through the building, all of them are locked. GWEN : I heard music earlier. If I can hear them, maybe they can hear me. They've gotta come back. Jack ! Tosh ! INT. DANCE HALL - 1941 Toshiko looks round at the sound of her name and Jack comes back to see why she has stopped walking. JACK : What ? TOSHIKO : I thought I heard my name. Jack shrugs and continues walking. INT. THE HUB - TOSHIKO'S STATION Ianto works on the computer. Owen walks up to join him. OWEN : Okay, so we use Tosh's information to open the rift and bring them back. IANTO : We can't. Half the equation's missing. OWEN : Can't be, must be somewhere else. Owen pushes Ianto out of the way and moves to use the computer. IANTO : It's not there. It might be in her laptop... Owen starts to look for the laptop. IANTO : ...Which she never goes anywhere without. OWEN : sh1t. sh1t ! INT. DANCE HALL - BILIS'S OFFICE Jack opens the door to Bilis' office and quickly checks it's empty. JACK : No one here, come on, quick. Toshiko moves to the desk and opens her laptop. TOSHIKO : It works. The laptop notifies Tosh that her battery is low and she starts copying down the rift equation from her laptop with a cartrage pen, working quickly. JACK : Just take down everything you've got in case it dies. TOSHIKO : I'm not used to writing with these things JACK : Don't press so hard. A warning sign appears on the laptop, obscuring the equation. TOSHIKO : Can you read that ? JACK : Plus one over five a... sign two a x. The laptop dies just as Toshiko writes the last of the equation. JACK : You got everything you need ? TOSHIKO : I just want to get the exact co-ordinates for the Dance Hall so I can integrate them into the wave form equation. Then we need to get the information back to the hub... BILIS : What are you doing here ? Bilis stands in the doorway looking at them. Toshiko quickly closes the laptop. BILIS : Who are you ? JACK : Captain Ja... James Harper. This is Toshiko Sato, friend and mathematician. BILIS : I'm Bilis, the manager. You're not in full uniform, Captain. JACK : On leave, forty eight hours. Toshiko looks at the camera on Bilis's desk. TOSHIKO : That's an interesting camera. BILIS : It takes photographs instantly. TOSHIKO : I didn't know they could do that, yet. BILIS : And I didn't know they'd made an attaché case out of metal. Toshiko glances at the laptop she clutches to her chest. A bell chimes and Bilis looks away from them. The clock behind him reads 10.30. BILIS : Where did you get it ? TOSHIKO : London, I'm from there. Jack looks around the room as the clock chimes, knowing something isn't right. BILIS : I should go back, dear. They're coming for us now. Jack smiles at Bilis as they leave the room, pulling Toshiko with him before she can ask any more questions. As soon as they are out of the door Bilis opens a desk drawer and takes out a file. 'Torchwood' is written in large, neat letters on the cover. EXT. DANCE HALL - PRESENT Gwen stands outside the dance hall speaking to the hub again. GWEN : I've had a good look around but most of the doors are locked. Bilis stands behind her, unnoticed. BILIS : Can I help you ? I'm the caretaker. Gwen puts a hand to her chest, smiling in nervousness - she hadn't seen him before he spoke. BILIS : Bilis Manger at your service. GWEN : Hello. Could you open it all up for me ? I think some of my friends got locked in. BILIS : Follow me. Bilis walks back into the building. GWEN : Thank you. INT. DANCE HALL - 1941 Jack and Toshiko return downstairs, The Captain a little in front of them. Toshiko is still worrying, but Jack's attention is elsewhere, only half listening. TOSHIKO : Pearl Harbour, Jack. JACK : Doesn't happen until the end of the year. Jack pauses at the corner of the stairs, watching The Captain while Toshiko continues talking. TOSHIKO : Granddad stayed in London, but he was persecuted. If I stay stuck here, what will happen to me ? JACK : I'll take care of you. TOSHIKO : This period, you look like you fit in. Have you been here before ? JACK : Yeah. I can't explain, but I served in the war in 1941. I was undercover, I needed a false identity so I took his name. Toshiko follows Jack's glance and sees the Captain standing below them. TOSHIKO : Who were you before you took his name ? Jack doesn't answer, his discomfort at the question clear. TOSHIKO : Why him ? JACK : Was convenient. TOSHIKO : But if you chose his identity to steal... JACK : Dies, in battle. TOSHIKO : When ? JACK : Tomorrow. They look over the banister before moving down the stairs to The Captain who stands with George and Tim at the base of the staircase, George telling a story. GEORGE : ...and I say 'look, love, it's raining bombs and fire so get down that celler' and she says 'I can't, there's rats down there !' Toshiko interrupts them. TOSHIKO : So, who's the best navigator here ? GEORGE : Er, Tim. He, er, can't fly for toffee, but at least when he goes down he'll know exactly where he is. TOSHIKO : Why don't we chat over here ? George laughs as Tim leaves with Toshiko, giving a wolf whistle. GEORGE : I give the public school boy a fortnight. THE CAPTAIN : That boy's come a long way in 5 weeks. As long as you boys remember your training and you'll be alright. He turns to clap Jack on the shoulder, looking genuinely pleased to see him. THE CAPTAIN : Glad you came. Shall we sit down ? INT. DANCE HALL - BASEMENT - PRESENT Gwen searches the basement, Bilis looking on. BILIS : Why were your friends in here anyway ? GWEN : Just a silly dare, someone said it was haunted. BILIS : You look worried, dear, I'll make you a nice cup of tea. Gwen follows Bilis out of the basement. INT. DANCE HALL - 1941 Tim tells Toshiko sit across the room from Jack and the others, Tim flicking through a notebook to find the co-ordinates. TIM : Sun rose this morning at 0812 21 by 7 degrees. I note it down everyday, it's a bit silly I suppose. TOSHIKO : It's fantastic. Toshiko glances over at Jack who sits with The Captain and George. GEORGE : You, er, musta seen some action. JACK : Lets just say the enemy comes in many guises. GEORGE : Yeah, I can't wait to get up there and give Gerry what for. How many did you kill in the battle of Britain, sir ? 26 wasn't it ? The Captain looks a bit embarrassed. THE CAPTAIN : You've heard that story countless times, George. GEORGE : No one's as fast as 'im, hasn't lost a man yet. THE CAPTAIN : Care for a drink, Captain ? JACK : I'll just have water, thanks. The Captain raises his eyebrows at Jack's choice of drink and goes to the bar. A Young woman walks up to him. She has just arrived - still wearing her coat. NANCY : Hello, Jack. I know you're having a night with the men, but I thought I'd look in if that's alright. The Captain glances over at Jack before answering. THE CAPTAIN : Yeah, yeah. INT. DANCE HALL - PRESENT Gwen follows Bilis through the litter strewn dance hall and into his office. BILIS : Is anyone expecting you ? GWEN : Yes. BILIS : Perhaps you should call them, otherwise they may think that you've disappeared too. I'll put the kettle on. Bilis leaves the room to make tea. Gwen calls the Hub. GWEN : Anything your end ? CUT TO : THE HUB Ianto answers Gwen's call. IANTO : There are no more photographs of Jack and Tosh after that night. That's encouraging. OWEN : Yeah, unless the bombs got 'em. IANTO : The manager, Bilis Manger, kept them for posterity. [SCENE_BREAK] DANCE HALL - BILIS'S OFFICE GWEN : Bilis Manger ? That's the name of the caretaker. IANTO : (Over com) Can't be the same guy can it ? GWEN : Not old enough, although he does look a bit out of his time. He wears a cravat. CUT TO : THE HUB Ianto looks at the same photograph of Bilis as Gwen without realising it. He looks at the other photographs as realisation dawns. IANTO : Gwen, he's in the photo with Jack and Tosh. Owen hearing their conversation suddenly runs across the hub to look at the pictures. OWEN : He's the answer. He's come through the rift, find out what he's doing. IANTO : No, Gwen. Get out and wait for back-up. OWEN : We can't loose him. IANTO : We can't loose Gwen. Maybe this is a trap. He could be sending us back through time one by one. Get out of there Gwen, that's an order. OWEN : I'm sorry but who exactly put you in charge ! [SCENE_BREAK] DANCE HALL - PRESENT Gwen turns of her com, not listening to them argue further but following Ianto's order not Owen's. She glances around and sneaks from Bilis's office. INT. DANCE HALL - 1941 Jack finds Toshiko checking her co-ordinates. TOSHIKO : I've got what I need. Now all I have to do is find a way to leave a message for the team, something that will last across time. JACK : Okay. Jack leads the way towards the stairs. Audrey steps in front of Toshiko, blocking her exit. AUDREY : I haven't seen you to here before. Is she with you ? GEORGE : Nah, she's after Tim, why else would she let him bore her to death about navigation ? AUDREY : Maybe she's a spy. SMILER : The Chinese are on our side aren't they ? TOSHIKO : I'm Japanese. AUDREY : You're not exactly an alli then ! GEORGE : Leave it, Audrey. AUDREY : So, who's side are you on ? What's in the bag ? TOSHIKO : Nothing. Audrey grabs at the bag. AUDREY : If you've got nothing to hide then open the bag. JACK : She can't. Her work is top secret, she's a decoder for the Brits. The Captain joins them, handing Jack his drink and fending off Audrey's protests. THE CAPTAIN : And without ladies like her we'd have no way of defending the country. To Toshiko ! Toshiko, embarrassed by the toast and unnerved by Audrey's vehemence, starts away again to get the camera, pausing to speak to Jack. TOSHIKO : I need Bilis' camera. Photographs last don't they ? JACK : Sure, you want me to come with you ? THE CAPTAIN : You can't run out on me, I just got you a drink ! Jack laughs, battling with his desire to stay with the Captain and the responsibility to look after Toshiko. TOSHIKO : I'm fine. You carry on. Toshiko jogs quickly up the stairs. THE CAPTAIN : To a fellow Captain. Jack walks towards the stairs, leading The Captain to find a quiet seat. JACK : So, what brings you down here ? THE CAPTAIN : Well I had to rest up. Injured my back bailing over Kent. Nancy appears behind them. NANCY : So that's his excuse for not dancing. Mind if I join you ? Jack motions that it's fine, and the Captain glances at him before answering. THE CAPTAIN : Sure, why not ? Nancy moves between them and they both offer a light hand on her shoulder, guiding her to lead the way. [SCENE_BREAK] BILIS'S OFFICE - 1941 Toshiko takes a photograph of the paper she has written the co-ordinates on. As she takes the picture Bilis enters the room. BILIS : Starting to be a habit. Toshiko hides the photograph behind her back as she turns to face him. TOSHIKO : I just wanted to try it out. BILIS : This little beauty is very unusual and rare, not unlike yourself. Toshiko backs away slowly. Bilis picks up the piece of paper Toshiko has left on the desk in her rush. BILIS : Er, don't go without this. As Toshiko moves to take the paper, Bilis snatches it away. BILIS : I could think of better things to photograph than numbers, my dear. Toshiko takes the page and hurries from the room. Bilis speaks as she opens the door : BILIS : Do call again. Bilis looks at the co-ordinates again, a smile crossing his face. INT. THE HUB - RIFT MANIPULATOR Owen lifts the trapdoor floor of the rift manipulator, revealing the wires beneath. He reaches in and pulls out a thick piece of cabling and starts pulling it out of the hole. Ianto crouches down behind him. IANTO : What are you doing ? Owen ? OWEN : We haven't got the missing numbers, going to have to improvise with the rift manipulator. IANTO : We can't ! It's risky enough with the equation. If we don't do this properly anything could happen. OWEN : Bombs are falling, they're stuck in the middle of the Cardiff Blitz. It's out duty to get them out. INT. DANCE HALL - PRESENT Gwen walks through the central dance hall and hears Jack's laughter. GWEN : Jack ? A couple dance by behind her and she turns her head quickly, knowing there is something there but unable to see it. She moves outside, unable to do anything more. INT. THE HUB - RIFT MANIPULATOR IANTO : Open the rift now and the whole world could suffer, we can all get sucked in, or who knows what will come out ? Ianto continues to beg Owen to see sense but is ignored. Owen continuing to gather the equipment he needs. IANTO : This is about Diane isn't it ? When will you accept that she chose to leave you ? OWEN : Whereas your cyber girlfriend stuck around the course, not that she had much choice wired up in the cellar. IANTO : That was different. OWEN : Yeah, it was, mainly because Diane didn't try and kill us all, and, oh yeah, she also happened to be a human being, not some screwed up metal monster. IANTO : I thought she was still Lisa. I loved her ! You only knew Diane for a week. OWEN : And it wasn't enough. Maybe the manipulator can calculate the missing figures. Owen connects wires around the manipulator while Ianto paces, knowing he cannot actually take any action against Owen. OWEN : It isn't working. IANTO : Good. Jack would never have wanted us to use it this way. OWEN : There's a piece missing. Gotta find it. Owen runs past Ianto to look for the missing piece of the manipulator. As he passes, Ianto grabs his wrist. IANTO : Maybe you should go home. OWEN : You don't have any power over me ! Okay Ianto, we'll play it your way : safe and boring. INT. DANCE HALL - 1941 Jack sits at a table talking with the Captain and Nancy. The men looking happy while Nancy looks bored. THE CAPTAIN : So what's your next mission ? JACK : Careless talk costs lives. NANCY : I should go anyway. She stands to leave, Jack stands quickly. JACK : No, no, no, no I didn't mean that to... NANCY : It's alright, I can get a lift if I leave now. The Captain stands up to speak to Nancy, glancing at Jack who sits down. THE CAPTAIN : I better stay here. NANCY : Aren't you leaving tomorrow night ? The Captain nods. NANCY : Sick of us Welsh already ? THE CAPTAIN : Yeah, that's why I'm still fighting for you. The Captain kisses Nancy lightly on the cheek. THE CAPTAIN : I'll be in touch when I'm next on leave. Nancy nods and walks away, upset at his rejection of her. THE CAPTAIN : Nancy, It's been a good few weeks. The Captain sits down and Jack looks at him aghast. JACK : Was that it ? THE CAPTAIN : She's a sweet kid but I need to look after my men tonight. It's their last day tomorrow. JACK : Go after her., kiss her goodbye. Anything can happen tomorrow. THE CAPTAIN : It's just a routine training exercise, hardly gonna die. JACK : Yeah that's when they catch you, when you least expect it. You don't know what's ahead. Kiss her goodbye. The Captain looks at Jack's intensity of expression, downs his drink and goes after Nancy as instructed. THE CAPTAIN : Nancy. The Captain pulls Nancy to him and kisses her. Jack, across the room looks down at the table unable to watch. The Captain helps Nancy with her coat. Nancy smiles at him then goes on tiptoes to whisper in his ear. NANCY : I love you. She leaves and The Captain returns to the table. He picks up his hat. THE CAPTAIN : That just made things 20 times worse. Now she thinks she's in love with me. The Captain leaves. Jack chases after him and catches him on the stairs. Thinking The Captain didn't want to get close to Nancy in case something happens to him but won't admit it. JACK : Hey, her falling for you is hardly my fault. Play it cool in front of your men but not in front of me. Look, it's okay to be scared ! The Captain turns to Jack. THE CAPTAIN : A Captain has to keep his head. JACK : A Captain needs to explain the risks, tell his men what to expect. THE CAPTAIN : So what do I do ? Tell 'em I saw a young boy get shot in the eyes mid-flight ? JACK : I understand. THE CAPTAIN : Do you ? Did you hear him in the radio yelling for his mom while the Messerschmitts pumped him full of holes and blew his plane apart ? All I could hear on the radio... JACK : Is screams. I went to war when I was a boy, I was with my best friend. We got caught crossing the boarder over enemy lines, they tortured him, not me, because he was weaker, they made me watch him die. And they let me go. THE CAPTAIN : Who were they ? Jack turns away and continues down the stairs as he talks. JACK : The worst possible creatures you can imagine. I persuaded him to join up, I said it would be an adventure. He hadn't lived. THE CAPTAIN : Have any of us ? [SCENE_BREAK] EXT - DANCE HALL - 1941 Toshiko exits the dance hall and crouches down at the side of the footpath. She removes her grandfather's birthday card from it's plastic packaging and puts it back in her bag. She peels the photograph from the negative and slides it inside the plastic wrapper, helping ensure it's longevity. TOSHIKO : Okay team, I hope you like treasure hunts. INT. THE HUB Ianto watches the CCTV of the exterior of the Dance Hall. IANTO : No sign of Bilis leaving the area. Owen walks past him picking up his coat as the cog door slides open. IANTO : Er, where are you off to ? OWEN : Dance Hall. Bilis's office, he must know how the rift works. Maybe we'll find a clue there. Owen runs from the hub leaving Ianto to grit his teeth and keep checking the CCTV. EXT. DANCE HALL - PRESENT Gwen exits the dance hall, speaking into her com. GWEN : What would Jack and Tosh do ? How would they try and help us ? Out of the corner of her eye Gwen sees Bilis round the corner of the building. GWEN : Bilis ? Gwen jogs in Bilis's direction. As she follows the corner of the building she notices a padlock lying on the floor in front of an electrics box. She picks up the padlock the looks inside the box. She finds the photograph, faded but still legible. CUT TO : THE HUB Ianto types in the figures for the equation as Gwen reads them to him. IANTO : I need more equations, Gwen. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. - DANCE HALL - PRESENT GWEN : What happened here, Tosh ? [SCENE_BREAK] EXT - DANCE HALL - 1941 Toshiko looks closely at the photograph and notices that part of the equation has been cut off the photo. TOSHIKO : No. Knowing she needs to hide the photograph anyway so the rest of the team have at least part of the code, she jogs down the side of the building to the electrics box, keeping a careful eye for passers-by. As Toshiko searches for the best place to hide the photograph air raid sirens sound. She deposits the photograph quickly at the back of the box and hurries back to the dance hall. The main entrance is locked and she has to run further round the building. INT. DANCE HALL - 1941 Party goers crowd the hallway, women screaming while the Captain points the way to the basement. Jack looks round for Tosh. JACK : Toshiko ! Toshiko ! TOSHIKO : Jack. Jack looks around to see Toshiko on the stairs behind him. He signals to her. JACK : This way. TOSHIKO : I didn't get the first part of the equation in the photo, the rest is outside. If they find it they'll keep looking won't they ? JACK : Yeah. EXT. DANCE HALL - PRESENT Gwen walks back to the dance hall entrance and sees Owen's car now parked outside. IANTO : (Over com) Be careful Gwen, Bilis is still around. GWEN : Owen, where are you ? OWEN : (Over com) I'm in the building. Where's Bilis's office ? GWEN : It's at the far end of the corridor. I'll keep looking out here. INT. DANCE HALL BILIS'S OFFICE - PRESENT Owen searches the office, quickly and randomly. He spots a tablecloth covering a small safe and assumes he's found the right thing. OWEN : Yes. INT. DANCE HALL BASEMENT - 1941 Everyone has gathered in the basement during the air raid. As bombs drop nearby the noise is clear. Smiler and Audrey sit together to the side of the room. SMILER : Thing is, you could be the last girl I ever kiss. Audrey falls for the line and they start kissing oblivious to everyone else, living for the moment and knowing they could very easily die that night. Toshiko picks up a gas lamp from close to them and climbs up into a side room, leaving Jack to stand guard in the doorway. TOSHIKO : I've got to finish the message, pencil will fade, I need to find something else. Jack sees The Captain enter the room, a good officer having made sure everyone else is safe before going into the shelter himself. The Captain smiles across the room at Jack then speaks to his soldiers. Jack half smiling to himself. Meanwhile Toshiko checks through a cabinet and pulls out a coffee tin. TOSHIKO : Airtight. This'll do. Tosh puts the canister on the side and gripping the pencil between her teeth opens the card to write her message. Unable to find anything else to write with she opens the can, shakes out the remains and cuts her hand on the sharp edge, cupping her hand to hold a small pool of blood for use as makeshift ink. She dips the pencil in the blood and writes the equation. In the main part of the basement the singer has started again, continuing to entertain. Toshiko pauses then writes a note to her family, thinking she may not get home. INT. DANCE HALL - BILIS'S OFFICE - PRESENT Owen opens up the safe and it's empty. He feels every shelf, the sides and the top, nothing. OWEN : sh1t. As he crouches down wondering where he can look now the clocks begin chiming - they are all set to different times, none of them are on the hour. OWEN : Timepieces. Owen moves to the grandfather clock and opens the front. The missing part of the rift manipulator is stuck to the pendulum - at the front, easy to find. Owen removes it easily, puts it in his bag and leaves. As he walks toward the exit he passes Gwen in the corridor, they speak frostily, uncomfortable with each other now. OWEN : I didn't find any equations, erm, I'll get back to the hub. GWEN : Fine, I'll keep looking here then. OWEN : Yeah, yeah you do that. INT. DANCE HALL - BASEMENT - 1941 The Captain crosses the room and stands behind Jack. THE CAPTAIN : Yes, of course I'm scared. Jack glances round at the Captain then turns away again without saying anything, reading the meaning in the Captain's words and knowing the futility of the situation. In the side room Toshiko places the card in the container and seals it before hiding it behind a barrel. INT. DANCE HALL - BASEMENT - PRESENT Gwen re-enters the basement, speaking to Ianto. GWEN : I'm gonna check everywhere for the other figures, I'm not gonna leave Jack now. Gwen starts searching and hears the woman singing. Gwen shines her torch around the room, seeing nothing. The singing ends as suddenly as it began. INT. DANCE HALL - BASEMENT - 1941 Jack leans against the wall silently, the Captain opposite him mirroring his movements. Across the room Smiler and Audrey continue kissing, Smiler's hands straying under her dress. The all clear sounds and the lights return. BILIS : Let the dancing continue ! The crowd cheer and applaud, standing to return upstairs. The Captain moves away from the wall and Smiler and Audrey stop kissing, straightening themselves out. Toshiko steps out of the side room. TOSHIKO : I've finished. The rest of the equation is hidden in there. Tim watches Toshiko and sees the cut on her hand. TIM : What happened ? TOSHIKO : I slipped. TIM : I've got a first aid kit in the van. Jack raises his eyebrows at Tosh and she goes with Tim. GEORGE : Scotch, Captain ? THE CAPTAIN : Erm, I'd like some time in private with Captain Harper. George dutifully exits, leaving Jack and the Captain alone in the basement. INT. DANCE HALL - BASEMENT - PRESENT Gwen continues searching the basement. She notices the coffee canister and picks it up. She takes out the card and reads the contents to Ianto. GWEN : Ianto, yeah, it's me I found it. It's written in blood. INT. THE HUB - TOSHIKO'S STATION Owen enters the hub and runs over to Ianto when he sees him typing. IANTO : Gwen found the rest of Tosh's readings. OWEN : What's she got for us ? GWEN : Cos, sin, square a x c x equals x over two. OWEN : No, need at least three more numbers, Gwen. They must be somewhere else. GWEN : (Over com) No, they're not. OWEN : Well how do you know ? [SCENE_BREAK] DANCE HALL - BASEMENT Bilis scratches out the last three numbers from the card. GWEN : (VO) Somebody's scraped out the final numbers. [SCENE_BREAK] DANCE HALL - BASEMENT - PRESENT GWEN : Tosh has written a message at the end it says, 'tell my family I love them' In the hub Owen and Ianto break contact with Gwen, both knowing the message is not a good sign. INT. DANCE HALL - 1941 Jack and the Captain sit alone on a small balcony overlooking the dance floor. THE CAPTAIN : Why did you make me kiss her goodbye ? JACK : I just think you should live every night like it's your last. Make tonight the best night of your life. You're alive, right here, right now. You're men are fine. THE CAPTAIN : What are you trying to say ? JACK : Go to her. Go to your woman and loose yourself in her. THE CAPTAIN : Maybe I should. JACK : Yeah. THE CAPTAIN : Is Toshiko your woman ? JACK : No. There's no one. Go to her. The Captain gets up and leaves without further comment and without finishing his drink, leaving Jack sitting alone and upset. INT. THE HUB - RIFT MANIPUTATOR Owen works on the manipulator once more, Ianto looking on. IANTO : It still won't work there's a piece missing. OWEN : Bilis had it all along. Owen takes the manipulator piece from his jacket and fits it to the machine. IANTO : We still don't have all the equation. OWEN : Well maybe the machine can work it out. Owen pulls a leaver and the manipulator starts. IANTO : Owen ! As Ianto calls out the machine powers down again, clattering and stuttering to silence. Owen removes his jacket and runs past Ianto, determined to make it work. Owen runs into Jack's office and starts going through the desk drawers. OWEN : There must be something in the safe, the key fits we just need better instructions. IANTO : You can't open the safe, you've got no right. OWEN : I am second in command; I have got every f*cking right ! IANTO : There's stuff in there that we don't know about, that's the way Jack likes it ! OWEN : I'm not going to play with his toys, Ianto. Owen finds a journal and starts flicking through, looking for the safe code. Finding the appropriate line he reads it out, Ianto cringing with every section, knowing it's the right code. OWEN : Rhea Silva the god of war's Mrs, and a nine digit number. Who's a clever Jack ? Owen moves to the safe, opens it and begins pulling out boxes, Ianto doing nothing to stop him. He finds a box with a thick folder inside and checks the contents. OWEN : Blueprints for the rift machine. Owen and Ianto stop and look at each other for a second and run for the machine. INT. DANCE HALL - BALCONY - 1941 Jack sits alone at the balcony table, the Captain enters the room, Jack doesn't look round. JACK : I thought you'd gone. The Captain doesn't answer but stands looking at Jack a little uncomfortable. Jack looks round at him in a final attempt to make the Captain understand that their being together is futile. JACK : This could be your last chance. THE CAPTAIN : That's why I came back. The Captain sits down next to Jack. JACK : I might have to leave before the night is over. THE CAPTAIN : Well, then make the most of now. Jack looks down to see the Captain touching his hand and entwines their fingers together. A couple enter the room laughing and Jack and the Captain jump to their feet. AUDREY : We need lover' corner if you don't mind boys. THE CAPTAIN : Course. I was just discussing strategies with the Caption. JACK : We'll go somewhere else. THE CAPTAIN : No, you've told me all I need to know. The Captain leaves the room quickly, unnerved by the interruption, perhaps seeing it as an omen. Jack exits the room slowly, passing the couple who kiss on the sofa oblivious. INT. THE HUB Ianto tries to take the rift blueprints from Owen who refuses to relinquish them. OWEN : There's instructions in here, this isn't some random act of madness. IANTO : It's a trap ! Bilis wanted you to find it. OWEN : Why ? IANTO : To open the rift. To insight total chaos and destruction. All reports of the haunted dance hall were anonymous. What if it was him ! Please, listen to me. OWEN : I'm tired of being in awe of the rift. I'm tired of living with Jack's secrets, we don't even know who he is ! IANTO : He is our leader. OWEN : Not anymore. Get out my way. As Owen tries to shove Ianto from his path Ianto grabs him and holds him to the floor. OWEN : Get off ! Owen elbows Ianto viciously in the stomach giving him time to grab the blueprints. Owen kicks Ianto again as he tries to get up and heads for the rift machine. INT. DANCE HALL - 1941 Jack leans on the banister of the rear staircase. Toshiko walks up to him and stands nearby, allowing him to talk. JACK : Tomorrow is their last training exercise, just another day. They go out on a sortie and are surprised by two formations of Messerschmitts. They both look across at the Captain who stands on the edge of the dance floor with George and Tim. JACK : He destroys three of the enemy. His men listen to his whoops of joy over the radio. Then it all goes quiet. Can't bail out because his whole plane is on fire, but his men all make it back to safety. INT. THE HUB - RIFT MANIPULATOR Owen working from the blueprints fixes the wiring in the manipulator. Ianto stands behind him and speaks as Owen is about to place the missing piece back into the manipulator. IANTO : Put the key down. Owen looks round to see Ianto raise a gun in his direction. IANTO : Or I'll shoot. INT. DANCE HALL - 1941 Toshiko and Jack sit at a table on the side of the dance floor talking, Toshiko comforting Jack and seeing an opportunity to get him to talk about himself. TOSHIKO : Who were you ? JACK : A conman. That's why I took his name, falsified his records, so it seemed he was still alive. TOSHIKO : How did you end up in Torchwood ? JACK : Someone saved my life, brought me back from death, and ever since then it's been like they're keeping me for something and I don't know what it is. I'm sorry for dragging you into this. TOSHIKO : It's my choice. JACK : I'll look after you. Toshiko nods in response, trusting Jack fully. Jack looks over the dance floor at the Captain and tears prick his eyes. JACK : Though there's nothing I can do for him. Tosh takes Jack's hand on the table, silent support while Torchwood's rock shows some emotion. INT. THE HUB - RIFT MANIPULATOR Ianto still aims the gun at Owen who has moved away from the machine slightly. IANTO : You have to let Diane go, like I did with Lisa. OWEN : Don't compare yourself to me. You're just a tea boy. IANTO : I'm much more than that. Jack needs me. OWEN : In your dreams, Ianto. In your sad wet dreams where you're his part-time shag, maybe. Ianto cocks the gun his anger growing at Owen's arrogant dismissal of him. OWEN : That rift took my lover, and my Captain, so if I die trying to beat it, then it will all be in the line of duty. Owen moves to put the key into the manipulator and Ianto shoots him in the shoulder. Owen fits the key into the machine, screaming out in pain, before falling to the floor clutching his shoulder. The manipulator starts working and Ianto can only watch it move. IANTO : You don't know what you've done. INT. DANCE HALL - 1941 SINGER : That certain night / the night we met / there was magic abroad in the air / there were angels dancing at the Ritz / and a nightingale sang in Barkley Square. The Captain walks cautiously across the dance floor towards Jack and picks his hand from the table. Jack allows himself to be lead to the dance floor, uncommonly passive. They move to the centre of the dance floor, Jack taking the lead as soon as they get there, the fear in the Captain's eyes clear. GEORGE : What's he doing ? As they start dancing the other people at the party turn and watch them, shocked. Noise bleeds out of the scene. Toshiko smiles fondly as they dance closely, at peace for a moment. As they are about to kiss white light bursts through the side of the hall - the rift is open. Toshiko gathers their things and runs for the light, calling for Jack. TOSHIKO : Jack, Jack, we need to get out ! Jack, you have to ! We need you. JACK : I have to go. The Captain nods in response, fighting back tears. JACK : It's my duty Jack takes a couple of steps towards Toshiko and the rift before turning back and kissing the Captain passionately. Jack touches the Captain's face before pulling himself away and walking to the rift. Before going through Jack turns and faces the Captain. The rest of the people fade out leaving the Captain in a lone salute before he too disappears. Jack enters the rift with Toshiko. INT. DANCE HALL - PRESENT Bilis watches on, smiling in satisfaction of a plan well realised. EXT. DANCE HALL - PRESENT The entrance to the dance hall opens and Toshiko steps outside, followed by Jack who fixes his jacket and is visibly pulling himself together. Gwen runs from her car and grabs Jack into a hug. GWEN : You made it ! Oh, you made it ! Gwen runs over to give Tosh a hug as well, not noticing Jack's unhappiness as he gazes back at the dance hall. GWEN : Come on Tosh, come here, come here. INT. THE HUB Owen redresses the wound on his shoulder while Toshiko holds a bowl for him. Ianto works on a computer a distance away. OWEN : I knew we did the right thing, opening the rift. IANTO : Still no sign of Bilis. OWEN : World didn't end after all did it ? Good job you're a crap shot. IANTO : I was aiming for your shoulder ! Jack enters the room and Toshiko speaks to him, ignoring Owen and Ianto's bickering. TOSHIKO : It was war time, I know, but it was beautiful. JACK : There were angels dancing at the Ritz. Jack keeps walking to his office. Toshiko watching him, not having realised how much the experience affected him. OWEN : Jack... TOSHIKO : Let me. Toshiko hands the bowl to Owen and follows Jack into his office. Jack pours them both a drink, handing a glass to Tosh first. TOSHIKO : He would have been so proud that you took his name, 'cause here you are, saving the world. To Captain Jack. JACK : To Captain Jack. CLOSING CREDITS GUEST CAST : The Captain - Matt Rippy / Bilis Manger - Murray Melvin / Nancy - Elen Rhys / Audrey - Nadine Beaton / George - Gavin Brocker / Tim - Peter Sandys-Clark / Smiler - Ciaran Joyce / Singer - Melissa Moore. Please note that this script has been re-produced as accurately as possibly for [www.torchpedia.co.uk Torchpedia] from the televised episode. It is not a transcript of the original script by Catherine Tregenna.

Plan: A: 1941; Q: In what year did Jack and Toshiko find themselves stranded in a packed dance hall? A: their colleagues; Q: What did Gwen, Owen, and Ianto work to rescue? A: Captain Jack Harkness; Q: Who is the handsome young American squadron leader that Jack and Toshiko meet? Summary: Investigating reports of ghostly music, Jack and Toshiko find themselves stranded in a packed dance hall - in 1941. As Gwen, Owen, and Ianto work to rescue their colleagues, Jack and Toshiko meet a handsome young American squadron leader by the name of Captain Jack Harkness.

At Emma's house Mr. Simpson: Ms. Nelson how do you propose to get genetically modified foods out of the caf? Emma: Well Mr. Raditch we can start by looking at organic food suppliers. Mr. Simpson: Organic food in the cafeteria. What's next? Fresh mountain spring water in the water fountains? Emma: Archie be serious. Mr. Simpson: I'm sorry Em, but how many more times are we going to do this mock debate? Emma: Until I'm ready for the big meeting. Second period tomorrow! Mr. Simpson: You're more than ready for Raditch. You're ready to take on the UN. Oh it's way past your bedtime. Hey uh made your lunch for tomorrow, done your homework, brushed your teeth? Emma: Archie relax. Mr. Simpson: I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm not used to being in charge. Emma: You're doing great and remember mom will be home in two days. Wait. (She makes another change to her poster.) Mr. Simpson: Attention Degrassi students! Emma Nelson report to bed immediately or face a year's detention. Emma: But sir, what about my spotless academic record? Outside the school Emma: Hey guys! Wait up. Toby: Uh what's that? Emma: It's for my presentation to Raditch. JT: Uh oh. Emma's on the warpath. Better head for the hills. Manny: You guys should be proud of Em. She's Degrassi's very own Joan of Ark. Toby: Uh Joan of Ark was a lunatic who took orders from a burning bush. Manny: But Joan was also brave and strong and an inspiration to women everywhere. Just like our Emma. Emma: Thanks guys, but I'm no Joan of Ark. I'm just following my conscience. In the hallway, there's a poster for part-time work in the cafeteria Craig: Help needed in the caf. You applying for that? Marco: I don't know Spinner. Working in the caf probably sucks. Spinner: Okay I worked in the caf last year, remember? It definitely sucks. (Jimmy walks over wearing all new name brand clothes.) Marco: Well, see now here's a guy who never has to worry about getting a job. Craig: Woah. Did you win the lottery? Jimmy: No, but dad took me shopping last night. A little belated birthday gift. Marco: Yeah. Did you guys leave anything on the racks? In Mr. Raditch's office Emma: We know it's unrealistic to expect all GM foods out of the caf. Ashley: But a number of companies do sell non-genetically modified foods. Nadia: We can order as much food from them as possible. Mr. Raditch: At double and triple the cost. Emma: Mr. Raditch try one of these. Mr. Raditch: Tomatoes. Nadia: Genetically modified tomatoes, like Sheila uses in the caf. Mr. Raditch: It's perfectly fine. Emma: Yeah and you could hardly even taste the scorpion, can you? They add scorpion DNA to make them resistant to pests. Of course nobody knows what eating scorpion DNA will do to us. Mr. Raditch: You're right. That is disturbing, but it's also speculation. I've done some research on GM foods and I know they haven't proven to be harmful. Ashley: Or harmless. Mr. Raditch: Making crops resistant to drought and disease might be worth the risk. Thanks for all your hard work and for bringing this to my attention, but with the cutbacks we're lucky to even have a cafeteria. I'm sorry. In the media immersion lab Mr. Simpson: Okay let's wrap up with a little free internet research time. (Spinner is on the computer looking up expensive clothes when he sees Jimmy's MP3 player.) Spinner: You got an MP3 player too? Man this must have cost like 500 bucks. Jimmy: Yeah it's just uh, just dad going overboard as usual. Spinner: I mean, it's like the Mercedes Benz of MP3 players. Jimmy: I guess. Spinner: Um why am I more excited about this than you are? Jimmy: It's just an MP3 player. Spinner: Just an MP3 player? Man since Kwan broke my Discman last year, I'm back to cassettes. Jimmy: Sucks to be you. Outside the school Sean: If you don't like the food in the caf, then just don't eat it. Emma: That's not it. I want people to know what they're eating. That like the apples they sell in the caf might have fish DNA in them. Sean: The apples got fish stuff in them? Man that's messed up. Emma: That's what I mean. Sean: I don't know. I don't usually care about this kind of stuff, but it seems like you got something important to say. Emma: I think I do. Sean: Well then don't back down. Don't let Raditch shut you up. (He kisses her on the cheek before leaving.) On the basketball court Marco: Man you got those shoes for your birthday too? I just wish I had your dad Jim. Wait a second, you think your parents would adopt me? Jimmy: Uh no. They already have another son, Spinner. This dude has worn serious grooves in my couch. I'm thinking of putting a sign up. Something like 'Spinner lives here'. Marco: Well if your parents do love Spinner so much, why don't they take him shopping? I've seen you wear that shirt like 600 times now. Spinner: You have not. Anyway I like this shirt. Jimmy: Yeah, yeah. I like, I liked it too, back when you bought it...in grade 7. Spinner: Is that supposed to be a joke? Jimmy: Yeah. Spinner: Really? Wasn't funny! Jimmy: Okay. Spinner: We don't all have rich parents who will just buy us whatever we want. Oh papa! Please spoil me. Jimmy: My parents already do spoil you. Freeloader. (They leave and when Spinner gets his bag he sees Jimmy's MP3 player and puts it in his pocket.) Outside the school, Emma is passing out flyers Emma: If you care about the food you eat, don't eat at the cafeteria. If you care about the food you eat, don't eat at the cafeteria. If you care about the food you eat, don't eat at the cafeteria. If you care about the food you eat, don't eat at the cafeteria. If you care about the food you eat, don't eat at the cafeteria. Ellie: Sheila's trying to poison us? Come on. Emma: I wouldn't expect you to be on the GM food side Ellie. Ellie: I didn't say that I was, but if it means kids can afford lunch- Emma: Yeah and cancer twenty years from now. Ellie: If I was starving to death in the third world, I'd rather die of cancer in the future than not have a future at all. Mr. Raditch: May I have that Ms. Nash? Emma: Um I'm just trying to inform people. Mr. Raditch: School grounds are my jurisdiction. I make the rules and spreading propaganda is unacceptable. In Ms. Kwan's class Ms. Kwan: Hi Jane come on in. Brandon. Toby. Manny: So he just took them away? Emma: After he went blah, blah, blah, jurisdiction, propaganda, blah, blah, blah. Manny: So what are you going to do now? Emma: I don't know. I guess I'll just give up. He wins. At least it got some kids thinking about it, right? Manny: Yeah. Ms. Kwan: Class settle down. Time for the morning announcements. Liberty: (On the TV) First up a very special announcement live from the cafeteria. Take it away Sheila. Sheila: (On the TV) Good morning one and all and welcome to the Degrassi cafeteria. Purveyors of fine food since 1999. Some people have been questioning the quality of my food of late. JT: (On the TV) Really Sheila? But why? Sheila: (On the TV) I just don't know, for I use only the finest of ingredients and look what I have to offer. We have hot lunch special everyday for just $3.99. JT: (On the TV) And Sheila's sauce is always free. Sheila: (On the TV) For in my cafeteria, kids come first. Don't you deserve the best? Emma: Raditch accused me of spreading propaganda? What was that?! You know what I just said about giving up? I lied. In the cafeteria Toby: JT can I have your autograph? JT: Toby your jealousy bores me. Emma: JT what were you thinking and Toby what are you doing? Toby: That a trick question? Emma: You're actually buying this toxic junk? Sheila: Hey watch it! That's slander. Emma: Well so was your commercial. Look at these fries. The potatoes were probably created in some laboratory. Toby: Give me back my lunch! (Emma and Toby are both grabbing the fries when they go flying and hit Jimmy.) Jimmy: Better get running! (Jimmy throws his lunch and it hits Paige.) Paige: Okay. Someone is not making it out of here alive! JT: No, no, no! (She throws the food, misses JT and hits Craig, who throws food back at her.) Someone: Food fight! (A huge food fight breaks out.) In Mr. Raditch's office Mr. Raditch: You're suspended for the rest of the day. Emma: But I didn't throw anything! Mr. Raditch: You started it by all accounts. First the flyers and then all this- Emma: So that's what this is about? You're punishing me for protesting? If you're calling my mom she's away at a stylist convention. Mr. Raditch: Then I'll release you to your step-father. Emma: Fine. Archie...Mr. Simpson will support me 100%. In Ms. Kwan's class Ms. Kwan: Okay guys your essays on Oliver Twist are due on Monday. No excuses. Jimmy: You uh heard the new Kid Elrick? Hold on. I got it on my player. (He starts looking for his MP3 player.) Jimmy: Wait a minute. My MP3 player. Marco: What do you mean? Jimmy: It's gone. I've lost it. I'm such an idiot. (He throws his backpack against the wall.) Spinner: Woah Be careful with your new bag Jimmy. You don't want to make papa angry. Jimmy: I don't want to hear it. Spinner: Hear what? That you should take better care of your stuff? Marco: Okay Spinner! Spinner: Well what does Jimmy care? His rich dad will just buy him a new one. Jimmy: Man you're so jealous. Spinner: I'm not. Besides I can buy my own stuff. I'm gonna order a Triple 5 Soul hoodie today. Jimmy: Triple 5 Soul and since when do you have money to pay for that? Spinner: Since...none of your business! In media immersion Mr. Simpson: Now when adjusting the screen colour this should be a smooth rainbow, with no banding or dots. Now just as important as the colour, are the gamma and the contrast. (Emma walks into the classroom.) Mr. Simpson: Emma, but why aren't you at home? Mr. Raditch suspended you. Emma: Yes he did and I think it's wrong. Mr. Simpson: What are you doing? Emma: I'm waiting for you to continue your lesson. Mr. Simpson: You're gonna have to wait until tomorrow. You're suspended. Emma: Why, for speaking my mind? It's called freedom of speech and I have a right to an education. Mr. Simpson: It's called a food fight. Emma: I didn't start it...intentionally. Mr. Simpson: Let's have a talk in private. JT: Good girl gone so bad! Mr. Simpson: What is this really about, hmm? Are you testing me? Emma: It's not you. It's Radtich and since you're my new dad, I though you'd support me. Mr. Simpson: Emma you're suspended. You have to go home now. [SCENE_BREAK] In the boys washroom Spinner: Sully my friend! Remember uh last week, we were talking MP3 players? Sully: Yeah. Spinner: Well you said you would do anything to get your hands on a model like this. Sully: Wow. How'd you get that? Spinner: My dad, birthday present. Anyway you want to buy it? $120. Sully: At that price? Deal. This isn't stolen, is it? Spinner: Um do you want it or not? Sully: Alright yeah. Meet me in the foyer after school. In gym class, Mr. Armstrong is bringing the class outside Mr. Armstrong: Toby! Toby: Here. Mr. Armstrong: I didn't think I'd ever see this. Emma Nelson, suspended? JT: Yup. She went bananas. Cuckoo like Joan of Ark. Manny: JT shut up. How about a little support? (They see Emma across the street protesting with a poster.) Liberty: She really has gone insane. Ellie: So you don't mind answering a few questions for the Grapevine? Emma: Not at all. Ellie: Principal Raditch suspended you? Emma: He blamed me for the food fight, for my protest over GM foods. Ellie: We know your position. You're against GM foods. Emma: This isn't about that anymore. Ellie: Then what is it about? Emma: It's about freedom of speech. It's about my right to protest. Mr. Raditch: This interview is over Ellie. You about done here Ms. Nelson? Emma: I'm not on school property and I'm not leaving until my voice is heard. Mr. Raditch: Oh your voice will be heard. Emma: That sounds like a threat...sir. Mr. Raditch: It's a suggestion. You either apologize for all this on tomorrow morning's video announcements or you get a one week suspension. In the foyer, after school Jimmy: Look I'm sorry, okay? Spinner: For what? Jimmy: For making fun of your shirt or whatever. It was just a joke. Spinner: Uh okay fine. Apology accepted. (Jimmy just stands there.) Spinner: What? Why are you still here? Jimmy: Come on. Isn't this the part where we walk home together, best friends again? Sully: Hey Spinner. Spinner: Um why don't we uh just walk to school tomorrow, okay? I'll be happier then, okay? Sully: I got your money. Gimme the goods. Spinner: Uh Sully here, he just owes me some money. Sully: Uh loser owes me an MP3 player. Top of the line, the best, 120 bucks. Jimmy: Wow. Sounds like a steal. (Jimmy walks away and kicks the garbage can over.) Sully: So are you selling it or what? At Emma's house Mr. Simpson: Hey. Emma: May as well get it over with. Mr. Simpson: Get what over with? Emma: The yelling. The speech. The 'you're in serious trouble' talk. Mr. Simpson: I think you probably heard enough speeches today. Emma: Did you hear Mr. Raditch? I either apologize on tomorrow's announcements or I get suspended. Mr. Simpson: Ah. Emma: I can't. I can't apologize for doing something I believe in. Mr. Simpson: Emma there are hills to die on. Are you sure this is one of them? Emma: You and mom have a baby on the way. My little brother or sister. Aren't you worried? Do you really want them eating this weird Frankenstein food? Mr. Simpson: We don't even know if it's harmful. Emma: We don't know if it's safe and I'm scared to take that chance. Mr. Simpson: As a part of your family I totally support you, but as your teacher- Emma: You're stuck. Mr. Simpson: Yeah I'm stuck. So I think you're gonna have to make this decision on your own. In the cafeteria Jimmy: Uh let me get one of Sheila's breakfast burritos and a side of home fries. (Spinner puts Jimmy's MP3 player on the tray.) Spinner: Your food will be coming up in a moment sir. Jimmy: Spin. Spinner: It's Gavin when I'm in the hairnet. Look I'm really sorry, okay? You get like whatever you want and I can't even afford anything. Jimmy: So you steal it? Spinner: No! I mean yeah I was going to, but I couldn't. You're my best friend. Jimmy: Was. (He takes the MP3 player and walks away.) In a classroom, before the morning announcements Mr. Raditch: Very good Emma. I'm glad we straightened this out. Emma: Thank you sir. Liberty: We begin our morning announcements with a word from Emma Nelson. Emma: Fellow students, staff and faculty. I've been asked here this morning to apologize to you and to Mr. Raditch, but I can't. I can't apologize for wanting to be heard. I'm sorry the food fight happened and for making a mess in Sheila's cafeteria, but other than that I feel I did nothing wrong yesterday. You can agree or disagree with me about GM foods. That's not the point. The point is I have a right to express my opinion and you have a right to be informed. If fighting for that will get me a week suspension then I can live with that. (She walks over to Mr. Raditch.) Emma: Guess I'm going home now huh? Mr. Raditch: Yes you are.

Plan: A: Terri; Q: Who was by Ashley's side when she apologized to Jimmy? A: Ashley; Q: Who is back where she started, only without Terri? A: her house party; Q: Where did Ashley try to make amends for her actions? A: the forgiveness; Q: What does Ashley earn from Paige and Hazel? A: Jimmy; Q: Who does Ashley apologize to for what happened between them? A: plans; Q: What does Ashley make to go on a date with Sean? A: The news; Q: What spreads about Ashley's date with Sean? A: Toby; Q: Who becomes smitten with the new girl, without realizing she's Spinner's sister? A: the first appearances; Q: What does this episode mark for Melissa DiMarco and Stacey Farber? A: Melissa DiMarco; Q: Who played Daphne Hatzilakos? A: Ellie Nash; Q: What character did Stacey Farber play in this episode? Summary: With Terri by her side, Ashley attempts to make amends for her actions at her house party. She eventually earns the forgiveness of Paige and Hazel, and apologizes to Jimmy for what happened between them. Jimmy is convinced they are back together, but when Sean comes calling, Ashley makes plans to go on a date with him. The news of the date soon spreads, and Ashley is back where she started, only without Terri. Meanwhile, Toby becomes smitten with the new girl, without realizing she's Spinner's sister. Note: This episode marks the first appearances of Melissa DiMarco and Stacey Farber as Daphne Hatzilakos and Ellie Nash.

SCOTT: Previously on Teen Wolf... Scott: The mark of a family of hunters... The Calaveras. LYDIA: What would they want with Derek? STILES: How do we find them? Scott: Mexico. You don't know where he is either. (GROANING) Araya: You know who took him. (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) Araya: Say the name, Scott. Scott: Kate. Malia: Is that Derek? Stiles: Sort of. (PEOPLE CHEERING) (ALL SHOUTING) Coach: Hale, let's go. Derek Hale! (GROWLING) Young Derek: I thought... I thought I could control it. Young Peter: All this risk? Just for a basketball game? Young Derek: It's the finals. They need me. Young Peter: To do what? Rip someone's throat out on the court? Even born wolves have to learn control on a full moon, Derek. Young Derek: Yeah, but it's supposed to be easier for us, why does it hurt like this? Young Peter: Did you bring it? Young Derek: It's not working... Young Peter: Did you bring it? Go ahead. (PANTING) Young Derek: I told you, it's not working. Young Peter: Do it! Young Derek: Alpha, Beta, Omega... Young Peter: Again. Young Derek: Alpha, Beta, Omega... Young Peter: Again. Young Derek: Alpha, Beta, Omega... Young Peter: Again! (ECHOING) Alpha, Beta, Omega... Young Derek: Alpha, Beta, Omega... (SCREAMING) (LOUD HISSING) (GROWLING) Gas station guy: Hey! (BANGING ON DOOR) Gas station guy: You okay in there? (PANTING) Kate: Ahhh! Gas station guy: Hey, you all right? What's going on in there? (GROWLING CONTINUES) Kate: (EXHALES SHARPLY) Just a second. Gas station guy: Hey! Kate: I'll be out in a minute! (GROWLING) (BANGING ON THE DOOR) Gas station guy : You need to open the door. I don't know what the hell you're doing or whatever you're on, but I got a key. You come out or I'm coming in. Hey! You want me to call the cops? You hear me? Lady, open the door! Open it! You okay? (ROARING) (MUSIC PLAYING) Deaton: Wow. Stiles: Wow? Wow as in, "I've seen this before and I know exactly what to do," kind of wow? 'Cause that's the kind of wow we were hoping for. Deaton: I think you might be overestimating my abilities. Lydia: He's cold. Really cold. Scott: Do you think this is permanent? Deaton: I'm not sure a medical diagnosis is even adequate. This is well beyond my experience. Stiles: So what do we do with him? Deaton: Until he wakes up. Probably not much. It might be best to leave him with me. He'll be safe here. Stiles: You mean from Kate? Deaton: If she's alive and she is what you say she is, she won't be able to walk past that gate. Lydia: Why would she want do this to him? Deaton: Knowing Kate, it's probably for a reason that won't be any good for anyone but her. (SCOFFS) Stiles: And bad for everyone else. Deaton: You guys should probably go home. He doesn't look to be in any danger. So maybe the rest of you should get some sleep? It is a school night... And you all need to start taking care of your own lives again. Scott: Someone should stay with you. Lydia: I'll stay. My grades are fine... Despite missing a few classes. Stiles: I'm so not okay with this. Lydia: Guys, go. Stiles: No. Scott: Text us if anything happens. Stiles: Nope, still not okay with it. Not going anywhere. All right, just 'cause you're stronger... (WATER DRIPPING) (CLATTERING) Agent Mccall: Scott? Scott: Hey, Dad. What's with the tools? Agent Mccall: Oh, I was just, uh... (SIGHS) ...getting' started on a list of repairs you guys need done. What time is it? Scott: It's, um... Midnight. Agent Mccall: We were supposed to have dinner. We had a deal. When your mom has a night shift, we have dinner. Scott: Sorry, I totally forgot about it. When we got back from the camping trip, I had to go straight to the animal clinic to finish up work. Agent Mccall: All right, well... (SIGHS) Tomorrow night. Dinner. Scott: Great. Agent Mccall: Did you get anything to eat? Scott: (EXHALES) Yeah, Mexican. Lydia: How's he doing? Deaton: His heart rate is alarmingly high. Lydia: He's a lot warmer now. Deaton: Lydia, I'm going to try something. I want you to keep holding his hand if that's okay. Lydia: That looks like it healed really fast. Deaton: Unusually fast. Lydia: What does it mean? (SIGHS) Deaton: I'm not sure. Let's try something else. Grab me a five milliliter syringe. Top drawer. Lydia: Derek... (EXHALES) Deaton: Derek, are you all right? (MUFFLED) Lydia: Derek... Deaton: Derek, are you all right? Derek? (MUFFLED) Wait. Lydia: (ECHOING) Derek? Derek? Derek? (GROANS) Derek? (FAINT VOICE) Derek? Stiles: So it's like 2 in the morning. I wake up and she's just lying right next to me. She just sneaks in. This was like five times a week. Scott: And then what happens? Stiles: This... (MUSIC PLAYING) Scott: Holy... Stiles: Yeah. Right on, right? After that we spent the rest of the night spooning. Scott: That sounds okay. Stiles: Yeah, but I'm always the little spoon. Always. Scott: This means you guys are together, right? You're dating? Stiles: I don't know, sometimes the way she looks at me, I think she knows I'm not telling her something. Scott: You mean Peter? Stiles: We got to tell her, Scott. Scott: Yeah, I know. I just... I don't know how. Mr Yukimura: It might surprise you to know that some of history's greatest leaders have had to endure some pretty great failures. One you'll recognize from last night's reading failed in business, had a nervous breakdown, was defeated for both houses of Congress, and lost as Vice President, before he was finally elected as one of the greatest presidents that this country has ever seen. Who was he? Malia. (RINGING) Mr Yukimura: Scott, phones off. Malia? One of our greatest presidents. Gettysburg Address? (CELLPHONE CHIMES) Mr Yukimura: Phones off. Everyone. Malia? Does anyone else know? (CELLPHONE BEEPING) Mr Yukimura: I said phones off! KIra: Dad, that was yours. Mr Yukimura: Oh. Um... (READING) "Scott, call Lydia." Deaton: I don't think he's just younger in body. I think he's younger in his mind too. Lydia: He didn't recognize either of us. (SIGHS) And he looked like he was scared out of his mind. Stiles: So if you're a teenage werewolf and you're scared, where do you go? Scott: A wolf goes back to its den. But Derek lives in a loft. Stiles: Not when he was a teenager. Lydia: The Hale House? Deaton: He wouldn't remember the fire. It wouldn't have happened yet. Lydia: Hold on. Say you do manage to catch up to him? What are you going to say to him? That his whole family is dead? Scott: I guess I'm going to have to. Lydia: Oh... Good luck with that. Stiles: She's probably right. Maybe you shouldn't. You know, at least until we figure out how to get him back to normal. Scott: I can't lie to him. Stiles: Okay, I'll do it. Scott: I don't think any of us can. Remember, he can hear a heartbeat rising. When we find him, we tell him the truth. Deaton: If he gets to the house first, you won't have to. Deputy Parrish: Excuse me, young man? Deputy Haigh: You're calling him young man? Deputy Parrish: Shut up, Haigh. Sorry, but you can't be here. Deputy Haigh: Hey, dumbass. You ever hear of no trespassing? Derek: This is my house. Deputy Haigh: Nobody's been here for years, kid. Now get the hell out of here. Deputy Parrish: Haigh... Maybe a slightly gentler touch. Are you all right? We can help you if something's wrong. Derek: What happened to my house? Where's my family? Where's my mother? Deputy Haigh: All right, let's go. Now. (GROANING) Deputy Parrish: Hold on, just take it easy. Haigh, would you... Don't... Wait! (ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) (GROANING) Deputy Parrish: Haigh, stand down! (SIGHS) Deputy Parrish: The other deputy thinks I'm an idiot for even asking, but I have a feeling if I take these cuffs off, you're going to be okay? And I think you'll help us figure out what happened to your family so that we can get you out of here. Am I right? (HANDCUFFS CLANG) Derek: The other deputy's the idiot. Deputy Parrish: I can't argue with that. (CHUCKLES) Deputy Haigh: Parrish, get over here. I ran this kid's prints eight times. This is all that comes up. Deputy Parrish: Derek Hale? Sheriff: Did you say Hale? (EXHALES) Sheriff: I'll handle this. I want you to be honest with me. Absolutely and completely honest. Have you been time traveling? Stiles: Hang on, what? Sheriff: Because if time traveling is real, you know what? I'm done. I'm out. You're going to be driving me to Eichen House. Scott: We found him like that. Sheriff: Where? Swimming in the fountain of youth? Stiles: No. We found him buried in a tomb of wolfsbane in an Aztec temple in Mexico underneath a church in the middle of a town that was destroyed by an earthquake. Sheriff: You told me you were camping! Stiles: Yeah, we were... In Mexico. Scott: Derek's been aged backwards. He can't remember anything. We just need to talk to him. Sheriff: Yeah, well, so far he's not talking to anybody. (SIGHS) Scott: He'll talk to me. Derek: Why would I go anywhere with you? Scott: There was an accident. You lost some memory, but we can help you get it back. Derek: How much memory? Scott: A lot. But you can trust us. Derek: You're an Alpha. Okay, who are you? And who is he? Who are you? Stiles: Oh, we're the guys keeping you out of jail. Scott: Let us help you. Derek: No. Stiles: Okay, dude, you almost tore apart two cops back there. You need to listen to us. And that starts with no fangs, no claws, no wolf man. You got that? I'm fine as long as it's not on a full moon. Scott: You still have trouble with the full moon? Derek: I said I'm fine. Stiles: All right, you coming with us or not? Derek: You want me to trust you? Where's my family? (SIGHS) Scott: There was a fire. And... They're not here anymore. They're fine. Just had to move out of Beacon Hills. And we're going to take you to them as soon as we figure out how to get your memories back. Derek: (EXHALES) Okay. Scott: I shouldn't have done that. I lied my ass off. Stiles: Hey, your ass is fine. You saved him a ton of unnecessary pain. We'll figure this out in a day or two, he goes back to being old Derek, everyone's happy. Except for Derek, who's never happy. Scott: It's just another person that we're lying to. I always feel like it's always been better when we tell the truth. With Lydia, my mom, your dad. Stiles: Yeah, but that is Derek Hale in there. He may be a kid right now, but he's still Derek Hale. Scott: All right. Take him to my house and don't let him out of your sight. Stiles: And where are you going? Scott: I'm going to go talk to the guy we should have gone to before. Stiles: Uh... Yeah, I hate that guy. [SCENE_BREAK] (MUSIC PLAYING) Kira: Scott's going to find Peter. And we're supposed to meet Stiles at Scott's house. Lydia: That sounds like a horrible plan. But we've had worse. Like yesterday in Mexico? Kira: About that. Remember how we were in the club and you and Scott were tied up to electrified cables? Lydia: Vividly. Kira: I know. I guess what I'm trying to ask is... If my hand was on the dial connected to you and I had to turn it up to ten... Lydia: Would I be angry? Kira: Yeah. Lydia: No. Because I knew you had no choice. Exactly like Scott knows. And if you're worried about him, just remember, you're a Katana-wielding, badass Kitsune. (CHUCKLES) Lydia: And he couldn't be more into you. (DOOR OPENS) Lydia: Now... Grab a card from the visor so we can fill up. Uh, Beacon Hills Credit Union. Kira: Does this many cards mean you have good credit or bad? Hey, it looks like you have... A full tank. Lydia? Lydia? Are you okay? Lydia? Lydia: Don't look. Scott: What are you doing here? Malia: I heard you were coming to talk to Peter. And since Lydia tells me he's basically Satan in a V-neck, I figured you shouldn't be alone. Scott: I can handle Peter. Malia: You can handle him better with me. Stiles: We're going to wait here for Scott. We're going to sit quietly. We're not going to call or talk to anyone. Derek: Do I talk to you? Stiles: No. Derek: Fine. Good. Who's going to talk to him? Stiles: Ah! Are you getting taller? Agent Mccall: What are you guys doing here? Derek: We're waiting for Scott. Agent Mccall: Yeah, so am I. We're supposed to have dinner. I brought extra. You guys hungry? Derek: Yeah. Stiles: No. We're not hungry. Derek: No, I'm starving. Stiles: Neither of us are hungry. Thanks, though. Agent Mccall: Okay, well if you're not hungry, Stiles, your friend can still eat with us. What's your name? Stiles: Miguel. (STUTTERING) My cousin Miguel. From Mexico. So... Agent Mccall: (SPEAKING SPANISH) Stiles: Oh my God. Derek: (SPEAKING SPANISH) Agent Mccall: Fantastic. Egg roll? Derek: Hell, yeah. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Agent Mccall: Shrimp fried rice or pork friend rice? Shrimp fried rice. Beef and broc. Fantastic! Egg roll. Malia: What's wrong with you? Scott: Nothing. Malia: Your heart's pounding like crazy. Are you nervous? Peter: He's just bad at introductions. Scott: Peter... This is Malia. Peter: Beautiful eyes. Did you get them from your father? Malia: Mother. Peter: Interesting. Anyway, I'm sure they've told you a lot about me. Malia: The homicidal killing spree came up. Peter: Well, we're all works in progress. Malia: Well, when you progress to your next killing spree, why don't you try and make sure they all stay dead? Peter: What is that supposed to mean? Scott: What do you know about people being turned by a scratch? Peter: Did you scratch someone, Scott? Don't worry about it, the claws have to go pretty deep. Scott: But it's possible. Like if you clawed out someone's throat? Peter: Well, yeah, it's possible. It's also beyond rare. We're talking one in a... ...million. Agent Mccall: So, uh, Miguel. What did you say your last name was again? Stiles: Oh, it's Juarez. Cinqua... Tiago. Agent Mccall: That's a mouthful. How do you spell that? Stiles: Phonetically. Derek: Mr. McCall, you're an FBI agent? Stiles: He's low level. Very low level. He doesn't even have a voice. Derek: So do you investigate murders? Agent Mccall: Sometimes. When it's a Federal crime. Derek: What about fires? Stiles: Oh my God, I wonder where Scott is. Shouldn't Scott be here by now? We should call Scott. Agent Mccall: What kind of fires are you talking about? (NERVOUS LAUGH) Derek: Do you know anything about the Hale family? Peter: Can't someone in this town stay dead? Malia: I think they were hoping you would. Scott: Do you have any idea why Kate would turn Derek into a teenager again? Peter: What color were his eyes? Scott: Blue. Peter: After Paige. Which could mean around the time he first met Kate. Scott: Derek and Kate knew each other? Peter: Biblically. That's right, Scott. You weren't the first wolf to climb into a hunter's bed. Stiles: Okay, I didn't lie. I omitted certain truths. Vital truths now that I think about it. Derek: I don't want to talk to you. I want to talk to the Alpha. I'll talk to Scott. Stiles: Okay. I'm going to go get him. My phone's downstairs. Going to call him real quick. You stay here, just don't move, okay? Don't move. Don't... I thought you... Peter: Okay, Derek went to the site of the house thinking it was still there, right? Scott: Yeah. But he doesn't remember the fire. Peter: But if he doesn't remember the fire, then he doesn't remember that it was Kate that set it. Malia: So what does that mean? Peter: Kate didn't just take him back to being a teenager. She took him back to the age where he still knew her. When he still trusted her. (DOOR CREAKS) Derek: Kate? Kate: Hey, handsome. Been a long time. (GIGGLES) Kate: Longer than you think. Stiles: No, he's in your bedroom, he'll be totally fine. To be honest, I'm starting to miss the old Derek. So, if you actually think that Kate's coming to find him... You might be right. Scott: Wait. Peter: For what? Kate's out there twisting her way into Derek's head yet again. We need to find her. Malia: All we need's a scent. Scott: That could take hours. If we want to get ahead of her, we need to figure out where she's going. Peter: Not to underestimate my own cognitive faculties, but we're not exactly a brain trust of geniuses here. Then maybe we should call one. Lydia: We called Stilinski. They're on their way. Scott: What does it look like?Can you send pictures? Lydia: Uh, okay. (CLEARS THROAT) Lydia: To be honest, I have a 4.0 in AP Biology and there are parts of the human anatomy I have never seen before on these walls. (BOTH QUIVERING) (BEEPING) (CHIMES) Malia: Why would she want to kill a gas station attendant? Peter: I don't think she could help it. This was done in a frenzy. It's not a murder. It's a symptom. Scott: Of what? Peter: She can't control the shift. Scott: Derek said he had the same issue on the full moon. That he was still learning. Malia: Kate's still learning? Peter: She wants to learn. Malia: So she wants Derek to teach her? Peter: No. She wants the Triskelion. Kate: What's wrong? Derek: I don't know about this. I'm not supposed to show the vault to anyone outside my family. Kate: Come on, we talked about this. Derek: Yeah, but, how do you even know? Kate: Because you told me. Don't you remember? Tell me if you remember this. We get inside the vault. We get the Triskelion. And then everything goes back to normal. Derek: That's all you want? Kate: That's all we need. But right now we have to get inside that vault. Derek: Over here. Kate: Why would your family build a vault under a high school? Derek: The vault was here first. Scott: Did you catch a scent? Malia: It's the same one. The same one as Mexico. Peter: What is she talking about? Scott: One of them came after us in the Church ruins. Malia: And one on the road. Scott: They couldn't have followed us here. But they could've been brought, by Kate. (GROWLING) Peter: Oh, I've heard that sound before. Did it have an animal skull? A human wearing a skull over its face? Malia: I think so. Scott: What are they? (GROWLING) Peter: Berserkers. Are you crazy? Malia: There's just one of them. Peter: And that means we have a chance. Malia: To beat him? Peter: To survive. Derek: Not that. (GROWLING) Malia: Scott. It's both of them. They're both here. Scott: Where the hell's Peter? Malia: I don't know. He just took off. Kate: This is it? You're sure? Derek: Yeah. Kate: It doesn't look like much. Peter: That's 'cause it isn't. Quite the elaborate scheme you have here, Kate. Two countries, Aztec temples, Derek returned to a teenager. One that trusted you. One that loved you. All this complication just to gain access to our vault. Just to get your hands on that little piece of junk. Turn it over. Go ahead. There's a scrape on the back where it used to say "Made in China." Kate: You're lying. Peter: I admit I have a tendency to exaggerate things. But in this case the truth is so much more fun. Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart, that little pendant is just a physical object to focus on. It's training wheels. Talia used it to teach Laura. I tried to use it to teach Derek. (LOUD ROARING) Kate: Is this real? Tell me if this is real. Derek: Didn't you hear that? That was Scott. I just heard Scott... Kate: Tell me! Derek: I don't know. And I don't care! (PANTING) Lydia: You seriously need to find something better than a baseball bat. Scott: (SCREAMING) Kira! Peter: Derek gave up on it back when he learned another way to control the shift. When I taught him. I taught him to use emotion. To use anger. And to focus on it. To feel every ounce of rage and hatred that he could summon. It was the anger that taught him control. So you want to learn to control it? (TAUNTING) You want to get angry, Kate. Let's get angry! (GROANS) (LOUD SCREECH) (ECHOING) Wait! Peter: Wait! Scott: Derek? (MUMBLING) Peter: It was never... Never about the Triskelion. They took it, they took it while I was blinded. Stiles: Took what? Peter: Bonds. Bearer bonds and they took them all. Stiles: Bearer bonds? Hold on. Are you saying you got robbed? This was a heist. Somebody planned this. Lydia: How much did they take? Peter: 117... Stiles: Thousand? Peter: Million.

Plan: A: Years earlier; Q: When did Peter teach Derek how to control his shift? A: Peter; Q: Who teaches Derek how to control his shift? A: control; Q: What does Kate want to learn from the Triskelion? A: an artifact; Q: What is the Triskelion? A: the present day; Q: When does Kate kill a gas station attendant? A: Kate; Q: Who abducts Derek from Scott's house? A: Scott; Q: Who does Derek leave to help? A: Mexico; Q: Where did Scott and his friends go to when they took Derek to Deaton? A: Deaton; Q: Who is baffled by Derek's regression? A: Kate's plan; Q: What does Scott and Peter team up to put an end to? A: Scott as Berserkers; Q: What did Peter identify the creatures that attacked Scott? A: Kate and Derek access; Q: What do Kate and Derek do to the Hale family vault? A: Peter confronts; Q: Who confronts Derek and Kate in the vault? A: a trinket; Q: What does Peter say the Triskelion was only ever? A: an individual; Q: Who blinds Peter and Kate? A: a briefcase; Q: What does the blinded Peter and Kate fight over? A: his normal age; Q: What does Derek revert to when Kate flees? A: 117 million dollars; Q: How much money was stolen from the vault? Summary: Years earlier, Peter teaches Derek how to control his shift, using an artifact known as the Triskelion. In the present day, Kate kills a gas station attendant, and appears to be unable to control herself when transformed. Scott and his friends return from Mexico and take Derek to Deaton, who is baffled by Derek's regression. Derek attacks Deaton and goes to his destroyed house, but is arrested. When Kate abducts Derek from Scott's house, Scott teams up with Peter to put an end to Kate's plan. Peter identifies the creatures that attacked Scott as Berserkers . Kate and Derek access the Hale family's vault under the high school, and Kate wants the Triskelion in order to learn control. Scott, Malia and Kira take on the Berserkers, but are defeated. Peter confronts Derek and Kate in the vault. Derek leaves to help Scott, while Peter explains that the Triskelion was only ever a trinket. With Derek gone, Peter and Kate fight, but are interrupted when an individual blinds them and steals a briefcase. Kate flees and Derek reverts to his normal age. Stiles and Lydia find Peter, and he reveals that 117 million dollars were stolen.

TIME AND THE RANI PART THREE Run time: 24:23 [SCENE_BREAK] 1. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY [SCENE_BREAK] (The Rani and the Doctor are standing at the control desk in the centre of the room whilst all the machines throb in activation.) RANI/MEL: You know, don't you. (With little hesitation, the Rani pulls off her wig of red curls to reveal her own long brunette hair. She starts to unpin it.) RANI: But your usefulness is not yet over. You have another role to play. (To distract her, the Doctor gestures to the right door. She looks and he ties his scarf around her and pushes her down on to the control desk.) RANI: Dratted man. (He then runs from the laboratory.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE ARCADE [SCENE_BREAK] (Beyus is attending to the cabinet controls as the Doctor rushes past. The Doctor opens the grill to descend into the Tetrap Eyrie. The Rani, having released herself from the scarf, runs into the Arcade and pushes Beyus aside. She enters the Eyrie.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE TETRAP EYRIE [SCENE_BREAK] (The Rani descends the stairs into the eyrie and, peering into the darkness, she sees the Tetraps hanging asleep from the rocky ceiling but fails to see the Doctor. He is hiding behind a rock. Giving up, she leaves the eyrie and closes the grill behind her. The Doctor ventures out from his hiding place and looks around for another exit. Before he can look further, a group of awakened Tetraps encircle him, their forked tongues ready to pierce the Doctor with venom...) DOCTOR: I say. I mean, we may not see eye to eye. Try and see it my way! I'm trying not to be personal. I mean, after all, a bat may look at a Time Lord. (There is a clunk from the entrance. Beyus is there and has pulled the metal chain which causes the blood plasma to be released.) BEYUS: Doctor! Hurry! (The Doctor leaps across the tube delivering the plasma to the trough. All the Tetraps feast from the trough. The Doctor and Beyus exit the eyrie and shut the grill behind them.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4. EXT. THE LAKERTYAN SURFACE. THE RANI'S CITADEL ENTRANCE [SCENE_BREAK] (The Rani appears at the entrance and stands on the lookout for the Doctor. She is observed by Mel and Faroon who conceal themselves behind a rock.) FAROON: She's looking for us. MEL: Maybe, but I can think of a more likely explanation. The Doctor's on the loose. Whatever the reason, Faroon, you mustn't be caught with me. FAROON: I can't leave you. I promised. MEL: I'll be alright. Now go. Please? (Faroon moves away out of sight. Mel watches her go then moves off herself.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE ARCADE [SCENE_BREAK] (The Doctor and Beyus attempt to share a greeting to one another via Human and Lakertyan ways - failing, they gives up, and the Doctor goes to run off down the corridor.) BEYUS: No, you'll have to go out through the laboratory. The Rani went that way. (The Doctor returns to Beyus and exits off the Arcade into the Laboratory.) URAK: (From the Lab) Mistress Rani? (The Doctor hastily runs back out into the Arcade with a desperate look on his face.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY [SCENE_BREAK] (Urak wander around the Laboratory searching for the Rani. Failing to find her amongst all the noise of the activated equipment, he exits out to the Arcade.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE ARCADE [SCENE_BREAK] (Beyus is seemingly alone in the Arcade. Urak comes out from the Laboratory to address him.) URAK: You, Lakertyan. Have you seen the Mistress? Well quickly, answer! BEYUS: She went into the grounds. URAK: Oh, out of my way. The Mistress has profound insight but I think she is mistaken to rely on any of your worthless race. (Having pushed past Beyus to move down the arcade, Urak leaves Beyus alone. Except that the Doctor has been hidden out of sight in his personally labeled cabinet. Beyus opens the door and the Doctor jumps out.) DOCTOR: I can't say I share the Rani's taste in pets. BEYUS: The Tetraps are nobody's pets and you'd be wise not to forget it. DOCTOR: This is what I'll never forget. (Referring to the other Cabinet inhabitants) Unique talents every one of them. The Rani's roamed the universe plucking these geniuses out of time, at the height of their powers and reduced them to the status of laboratory specimens. BEYUS: Doctor, please hurry. DOCTOR: Time, the concept of time. That's at the heart of what she's up to. Otherwise why reserve a place for me. A Time Lord in this abysmal parade. BEYUS: If you're still here when she gets back, you'll find out from inside the cabinet. DOCTOR: Which you will help her put me in. BEYUS: If she catches you, yes. DOCTOR: You know, Beyus, your collaboration with the Rani's difficult to understand. BEYUS: My people are under threat. If you do manage to escape, go to the centre of Leisure. You will find the reason there. Now hurry Doctor. (Beyus ushers the Doctor from the Arcade and through into the laboratory.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY [SCENE_BREAK] (The Doctor and Beyus move across the laboratory and stop at the control desk.) BEYUS: Be careful, Doctor. The grounds outside are a minefield of traps. DOCTOR: Nothing outside compared to this. (The Doctor activates the monitor screen displaying the asteroid spinning in space.) BEYUS: A harmless asteroid? DOCTOR: It's composed of strange matter, Beyus. A devastating force. With the right trigger, that harmless asteroid, as you call it, could incinerate your planet. And anything else in this corner of the galaxy. (Gesturing to the sealed door) And what does the Rani keep behind there? Oh, all good things come to a bend. (The Doctor moves down to the repaired pyramid machine and removes a component. The result is the lights returning to full beam and the machine operation halting. He returns to where Beyus is.) DOCTOR: Micro-thermister, I doubt if she'll have a spare. BEYUS: She won't need one; you're going to put it back. Give it to me. (The Doctor shakes his head and Beyus tries to take the component from him. They struggle with one another until Beyus gains possession of the component. He moves to return it to the machine but the Doctor trips him up using his discarded umbrella. Beyus falls to the ground dazed. The Doctor takes the component from him.) DOCTOR: I had no intention of hurting you. RANI: (from the Arcade) Beyus! (The Doctor jumps up, beating a hasty retreat from the laboratory via the right side door. The Rani returns via the left side door. She observes the situation and moves over to Beyus who lies on the floor.) RANI: Who sabotaged this? What happened? BEYUS: Ah, I hit my head. RANI: Was it the Doctor? BEYUS: I don't know. He tried to steal something from the cabinet. I tried to stop him. (The Rani leaves his side and goes to the control desk. She activates an alarm.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9. EXT. THE LAKERTYAN SURFACE. THE RANI'S CITADEL ENTRANCE [SCENE_BREAK] (Watched by Ikona from behind a rock, the Doctor runs at great speed from the Rani's citadel. Ikona moves off in the direction that the Doctor went.) [SCENE_BREAK] 10. EXT. THE LAKERTYAN SURFACE [SCENE_BREAK] (Mel makes her way amongst the rocks. A Tetrap appears suddenly before her, causing her to scream. She tries to run away but Urak blocks her path. She is trapped and screaming. Urak's tongue pierces venom into Mel's neck and she becomes totally rigid.) URAK: The Mistress will be overjoyed to see you. (To the other Tetrap) You know where to take her. (The Tetrap picks Mel up and carries her away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11. EXT. THE LAKERTYAN SURFACE [SCENE_BREAK] (The Doctor moves amongst the rocks but stop when he hears a voice.) IKONA: Stop! Don't take another step. DOCTOR: Here's a turn up for the cook. A rock that talks. (Ikona appears from behind a rock in the cliff face ahead of the Doctor.) IKONA: You must be the Doctor. I've met your companion, Mel. DOCTOR: Don't hold that against me. IKONA: I see where she gets her sense of humour. And you're going to need it. DOCTOR: That bad? IKONA: Look down. (The Doctor looks down at his feet and sees a tripwire belonging to one of the Rani's bubble traps.) IKONA: Now step back very slowly. (The Doctor slowly lifts his foot away from under the wire. No sooner has he done so than a Tetrap appears behind him.) DOCTOR: Hello. Haven't I seen you hanging around somewhere? (Ikona fires one of the fireworks to distract the Tetrap. The Doctor shoves the Tetrap aside. Its foot knocks the tripwire. There is an explosion and a bubble forms around the Tetrap. The bubble lifts higher and higher until it knocks into a cliff face causing the bubble to explode and thus ending the Tetrap's life. The Doctor raises his hat out of mock respect.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE ARCADE [SCENE_BREAK] (The Tetrap carries the rigid form of Mel along the arcade to where the Rani is with Beyus and Faroon.) RANI: Take her away. (The Tetrap carries Mel away to the Tetrap Eyrie.) RANI: Faroon? You can tell the Doctor he can have the girl in return for the Micro-thermister he stole. FAROON: And where will I find this Doctor? RANI: He'll make contact with the other Lakertyans and try to stir up trouble. So don't be taken in by his glib tongue. (The Rani goes into the laboratory. Faroon almost follows her in anger when Beyus stops her.) BEYUS: Do as she says, Faroon. You know the penalty our people will have to pay if you disobey. FAROON: Well shouldn't we try to escape as Sarn did? BEYUS: Faroon, I have obeyed all of the Rani's commands, carried out the most menial of tasks. Now that she has almost completed the experiment why should I take the risk? FAROON: And when our work is finished, what happens then? BEYUS: She will leave Lakertya. FAROON: Will she, Beyus? BEYUS: That was her promise. FAROON: And when she does...? BEYUS: Our lives will return to normal. FAROON: (Tearfully) Normal, Beyus, without Sarn? BEYUS: Faroon, deliver the message to the Doctor. I believe that you will find him in the Centre of Leisure. (Faroon moves slowly off to the exit watched by Beyus.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13. EXT. THE LAKERTYAN SURFACE. THE CENTRE OF LEISURE ENTRANCE [SCENE_BREAK] (The Doctor and Ikona make there way over some stepping stones across a small stream that leads to the entrance to the Centre of Leisure. Other Lakertyan inhabitants make there way in and out of the Centre. They kiss a large rock by the entrance.) DOCTOR: No restrictions for movement. The Lakertyans can come and go freely. IKONA: Provided they obey the instructions of Beyus and don't try to get into the Laboratory. (Ikona enters, kissing the rock with his hand. The Doctor imitates him and then enters himself.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14. INT. THE CENTRE OF LEISURE [SCENE_BREAK] (The Centre of Leisure is a large, brightly lit room containing pools of water, comfortable seating areas and decorative ornaments. Music can be heard. In the centre hangs a large grotesque spinning globe. The Doctor and Ikona stand on a balcony overlooking those relaxing.) IKONA: The Centre of Leisure. The Centre of Indolence. DOCTOR: Not a favourite haunt of yours, I take it, Ikona. IKONA: No. I can't imagine why Beyus told you to come to this place. DOCTOR: He said I'd find the answer to his subservience here. IKONA: From these spineless pleasure seekers? DOCTOR: Why not? IKONA: It would require effort, that's why, Doctor. They've become spoon-fed drones. There's no reason for them to strive. An indulgent system provides all. Well, didn't Beyus give you any clue as to what to look for? (They make their way down some stairs on to the main area.) DOCTOR: He was too anxious for explanations. But whatever the threat, it must be considerable. D'you see anything that's different? New? IKONA: Only that. Another pointless embellishment. (He gestures spinning the globe.) DOCTOR: I wonder. Couldn't we ask someone? IKONA: We'll be interrupting their pleasure. (They move over to a conversing Lakertyan couple reclining in an alcove.) IKONA: Could you tell me what that globe's for? (They blank him.) IKONA: I did warn you. DOCTOR: There's none so deaf as those that clutch at straws. IKONA: If you say so. Lanisha! (Ikona sees his brother other the over side of the chamber. The Doctor and Ikona go over to greet him. Lanisha and Ikona press their palms against one another.) LANISHA: Ikona. IKONA: Lanisha. Can you tell me what that globe's for? LANISHA: We've been forbidden to have anything to do with you, Ikona. IKONA: You'd ignore your own brother. LANISHA: I obey the orders of Beyus. [SCENE_BREAK] 15. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY [SCENE_BREAK] (Beyus, the Rani and Urak encircle the control desk in the centre. Urak produces the circular silver petal-like remains of the Lakertyan fireworks used earlier by Ikona.) RANI: Do you recognise these? URAK: Answer the Mistress Rani! BEYUS: They're from the fireworks that we used to have at our carnival. RANI: These were fired at no carnival. These were used to enable the Doctor to escape. URAK: Causing the death of a Tetrap. BEYUS: None of my followers would be responsible. RANI: You're careful not deny it's the work of a Lakertyan. (She activates the monitor screen and it displays the spinning globe from the Centre of Leisure.) BEYUS: You will be punishing the innocent. RANI: Guilt by association. I warned you of the consequences of subversion. (She presses a button on the console and the globe stops spinning.) [SCENE_BREAK] 16. INT. THE CENTRE OF LEISURE [SCENE_BREAK] (Compartments in the globe open and the killer insects are released. The Lakertyans start to run for their lives, but not all are quick enough. A Lakertyan is struck down by a deadly bite.) LAKERTYAN: Look out, they kill! (The Doctor bends down over the Lakertyan corpse but Ikona grabs him to the arm and leads him quickly away to escape the insects.) IKONA: Killer insects! Come on, Doctor. (The Doctor and Ikona escape up the stairs. More Lakertyans are struck down. Lanisha is another unfortunate victim. Ikona cradles his brother in his arms and tries to initiate a response but without success. The Doctor is by his side and Faroon enters amidst the chaos.) FAROON: Do you still insist that Beyus should not count the cost of resistance, Ikona. If every cell in the globe were opened, there wouldn't be a Lakertyan left alive. DOCTOR: Erm, killer insects. FAROON: Doctor, I have a message for you. [SCENE_BREAK] 17. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE TETRAP EYRIE [SCENE_BREAK] (The Tetraps hang like bats from the rocky ceiling but amidst their collection is Mel. She is still rigid from Urak's venomous tongue piercing.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18. EXT. THE LAKERTYAN SURFACE [SCENE_BREAK] (Urak appears and motions for "Mel" to move into the open. She does so but looks awkward. Across the valley are the Doctor and Ikona. "Mel" waves to them. The Doctor gestures for Ikona to go and place the machine component in the middle of the valley.) DOCTOR: Let Mel come towards me. I've kept my side of the bargain. You've got what you want. (Ikona leaves the component on a rocky bolder and moves away. Urak gestures for "Mel" to go towards the Doctor and Ikona.) URAK: So stupid. You are not a worthy opponent for the Rani. (Urak leaves the situation with the component in his grasp.) DOCTOR: What's he crowing on about, Mel? ("Mel" returns to the Doctor with Ikona. His arms are outstretched, ready to welcome her. She carries on walking and walks through him before vanishing. It wasn't the real Mel at all.) DOCTOR: A hologram! As substantial as the Rani's scruples. (The Doctor throws his hat to the ground in frustration, then picks it up and storms off followed by a confused Ikona.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE TETRAP EYRIE [SCENE_BREAK] (Urak releases the real Mel (still locked rigid) from her hanging position in the eyrie and carries her out.) [SCENE_BREAK] 20. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE ARCADE [SCENE_BREAK] (The Rani is standing by Einstein's Cabinet with Beyus.) RANI: As soon as the machine is operational, increase the brain stimulation. BEYUS: But that would take it above the danger level. RANI: I'm in danger of missing the solstice, which is far more important. BEYUS: The computer control needs constant monitoring. I can't manage alone. RANI: So I've anticipated and I've got just the expert for you. (Urak carries Mel over to join them. The Rani produces as capsule and breaks it under Mel's nose. A dust is produced and Mel is freed from the effects of the venom. She coughs and splutters in response.) RANI: Beyus. She's your responsibility. BEYUS: Mine? But I can't govern her. She's not a Lakertyan. RANI: Just make certain she understands the penalty for non-cooperation. (The Rani and Urak leave Beyus and Mel in the Arcade.) [SCENE_BREAK] 21. EXT. THE LAKERTYAN LANDSCAPE [SCENE_BREAK] (The Doctor and Ikona are making their way at speed towards the Rani's base.) IKONA: Doctor, in my opinion, returning to the laboratory is a pointless exercise. I've a feeling Mel's beyond all help. DOCTOR: Oh the Rani would never go to those extremes. She never does anything without reason. IKONA: Then why the hologram? Why didn't she just release Mel? DOCTOR: A bird in the hand keeps the Doctor away. IKONA: You're probably right. DOCTOR: On this occasion it'll have the opposite affect. (They move off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 22. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY [SCENE_BREAK] (The Rani and Urak are in the lab. She replaces the micro-thermister in the machine, reactivating it. The lighting dims and starts to flash in time to the humming and pulsing of the machines. She returns to the desk and operates the monitor to watch the asteroid and check the readings.) RANI: The increase in brain activity is not enough. I'm going to miss the Solstice. URAK: Perhaps the stimulation of a greater genius. A brilliance that surpasses all others, Mistress. RANI: Do I gather you're suggesting that I climb into one of those cabinets? URAK: Your capable presence is wasted in here and I could operate the machine. RANI: Yes, I'm sure you could. (The Rani turns off the monitor.) RANI: Urak! Come with me. (The Rani leads Urak from the lab out to the arcade.) [SCENE_BREAK] 23. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE ARCADE [SCENE_BREAK] (Beyus and Mel are checking the readouts. The Rani enters with Urak.) RANI: Prepare the Doctor's cabinet for occupation. (Beyus moves off to do so.) MEL: Well that'll be a waste of effort. You've got to find him first and then catch him. RANI: I need neither find nor catch him. The bumbling fool's readymade as a sacrificial lamb. MEL: He's shrewder than you think. Underestimating the Doctor is a common fault. RANI: Really. MEL: He's got qualities you'll never have. RANI: Such as? MEL: Something I'd call humanity. RANI: You're as sentimental as he is. Get on with your work. (The Rani storms away, bored with the conversation. Mel is angered by her response but Beyus prevents her from following the Rani.) BEYUS: Don't antagonise her. She has only to press a button for every Lakertyan to be exterminated. MEL: I could nominate a few candidates for extermination myself. [SCENE_BREAK] 24. EXT. THE LAKERTYAN SURFACE. THE RANI'S CITADEL ENTRANCE [SCENE_BREAK] (The Doctor and Ikona observe the exterior of the Citadel from a concealed position. The Doctor looks at the rocket launcher built into the roof.) DOCTOR: A space rocket launcher sure enough. But have you noticed it's got a fixed trajectory. IKONA: No doubt it'll still play havoc with our planet. DOCTOR: Maybe it's a side effect, Ikona, but not the intention. I'd say the target is the asteroid of strange matter, which means the launcher is locked into a precise time. IKONA: Could it be the Solstice that's due. DOCTOR: Assuming it is, the Rani's overriding priority will be to meet that countdown. No more setbacks or delays. I've got to get back to the laboratory. That sealed chamber. I've got to get in there. Out of the frying pan into the mire. Right, Ikona, start the diversionary tactics. IKONA: Have a care, Doctor. This bluff worked once. The Tetraps might not fall for it again. (Ikona runs off and is spotted by a Tetrap who makes off in pursuit. Seizing his opportunity, the Doctor makes his way for the abandoned entrance. No sooner has he reached it than Urak and another Tetrap suddenly appear, trapping him.) URAK: We have been expecting you, Doctor. (Urak's tongue appears ready to pierce the Doctor's neck with venom.) [SCENE_BREAK] 25. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE ARCADE [SCENE_BREAK] (Beyus and Mel stand over the Doctor's readied cabinet bed.) MEL: We must be able to do something? Can't we make it blow a fuse? BEYUS: What good would that do? At least he'll be kept alive in here. MEL: Don't try to reason me into compliance, Beyus. You're wasting your breath. Doctor! (Urak and the other Tetrap carry the rigid form of the Doctor and drop him on to the cabinet bed.) URAK: You, Lakertyan. Connect this specimen to the main input. MEL: No, leave him alone. I won't let you do... BEYUS: You have no choice. (Urak moves off to the Lab, leaving Beyus and Mel with the prone Doctor.) BEYUS: Now listen to me. They are completely without conscience. They will not hesitate to kill. [SCENE_BREAK] 26. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE LABORATORY [SCENE_BREAK] (The Rani stands overlooking her equipment. Urak addresses her.) URAK: All went as you planned, Mistress. RANI: Good. [SCENE_BREAK] 27. INT. THE RANI'S CITADEL. THE ARCADE / THE LAB / THE BRAIN CHAMBER [SCENE_BREAK] (The Doctor's bed recedes into the cabinet and the door closes, sealing him inside still unconscious.) BEYUS: Set the temperature gage, Mel. MEL: I'm setting nothing. BEYUS: Stubbornness will not help the Doctor. MEL: And putting him in here will?! That's some twisted philosophy if you like. (The Rani enters the Arcade.) RANI: How far have you got? BEYUS: I need to realign the final calibrations before he can be connected to main input. RANI: Make certain that the levels are kept stable. MEL: If you're hoping for any positive results, you're going to be disappointed. The Doctor won't collaborate. RANI: I'm sure, were he able, he'd express his appreciation of such unstinting confidence. (To Beyus) As soon as the activity indicator reaches 8.15, increase the stimulation. (She leaves them, and Beyus walks off to continue his work. The Rani goes to the sealed door and opens it via the wall control. Urak follows her and they ascend the stairs to enter the room.) (Back in the Arcade - Mel waits for Beyus' attention to be diverted and moves out of the arcade into the lab.) (In the Lab - Mel looks around her and notices the door to the sealed room is open. She mounts the stairs and ascends to see inside.) (In the Brain Chamber - Mel enters and sees a large pulsating brain before her.) BRAIN VOICE: To reproduce the Leptonic Era temperature of 10 to the power of 12K, it will be essential to create a cataclysmic explosion, the equivalent of a supernova. (The Rani reappears and grabs hold of Mel.) RANI: Is this what you're looking for? BRAIN VOICE: Our time dilation is not in question. Our understanding of time is still at a primitive stage. RANI: It won't be once the Doctor has added his contribution. (The Rani drags Mel back down the steps with Urak following, into the Lab.) (Back in the Arcade - Beyus is waiting as the other three return.) RANI: Beyus? BEYUS: Yes? RANI: Is the Doctor connected to the main input. BEYUS: Everything is ready. RANI: Then switch on! MEL: No, Beyus! For once don't do as she says. (Mel is restrained by Urak whilst Beyus activates the Doctor's cabinet. It throbs into life.) RANI: The Doctor's wellbeing is in your hands now. Remember that. (The Brain Chamber - The Rani returns to the Brain Chamber to observe the brain function. She smiles with satisfaction.) BRAIN VOICE: The barrier to understanding time is empirical thinking. I suggest a lateral approach. (Back in the Arcade - Mel is held tightly by Urak. She screams as she witnesses the Doctor's brain draining away into the headset and into the Rani's Large Brain...)

Plan: A: The Doctor; Q: Who discovers how the Rani is getting the planets residents to cooperate with her? A: Mel; Q: Who does the Doctor try to trade a part for? Summary: The Doctor discovers how the Rani is getting the planets residents to cooperate with her. He then trys to trade a part that the Rani needs for Mel.

Ted and Marshall are in a car. Ted: This is awesome. Marshall: I can't believe this moment's finally here. One more mile and my little boy turns 200,000. Ted: Your baby Fiero's grown into a really old man Fiero. And just like an old man, he leaks fluid, smells stale, makes weird noises out the back. Marshall: Yeah, he does. Hey, light up those cigars in the glove compartment. They're real Cubans. I got 'em in Chinatown last year just for this moment. Ted: Uh, Marshall, I'm not saying you were definitely ripped off, but these are chopsticks wrapped in napkins. Marshal: What are you talking about? Ted: Whoa, pothole. The car stops. Marshall: What? No. Oh. No. No, no, no. No, there's only.8 miles to go. Come on, buddy. Buddy! Ted: Is it cool if I still light these? Ted (voix off): Kids, sometimes life forces us to be someone we didn't want to be. When that happens, we often try to hold on to a little piece of who we were. Maybe a tattoo. Or a piece of jewelry. A tiny souvenir that reminds us, "This is who I really am." Marshall's souvenir was not so tiny, but the more he found himself being pushed toward the corporate world and away from his dream of saving the environment, the tighter he held on to that Fiero. Ted and Marshall are in a garage. Ted: Hey. One good thing: we're off the hook for the folding party today. Marshall: Hey. It's very important to both Lily and me that there be a handmade origami crane in each of our wedding's... I couldn't even get through it. Thank God. Ted: Hey, your car's going to be fine. This is the best auto shop around. Look at this certificate. One of the mechanics here finished a 64-ounce steak. Lily, Robin and Barney arrive at the garage. Lily: Surprise. Robin: We felt bad that you guys were missing the super-fun origami folding party, so... we suggested moving it here. Barney: We insisted. Ted: Terrific. Barney: How's the Fiero? Marshall: She's still in triage. Ted: She? I thought it was your little boy. Lily: Oh, it goes back and forth. It's sort of a tranny car. Robin: How long have you had her... slash him? Marshall: My brothers handed it down to me when I was 16. Robin: Oh, how nice of them. Marshall: Not really. Flashback. Marshall is in the front of his house with his brothers. Brother 1: Congratulations. Brother 2: The Fiero is yours. If you pass the final test. Marshall: Come on! I already shaved my legs and swallowed five dollars in quarters. Only $4.50 has come out. Brother 1: Just go to the Weinerburger drive-thru and get us 12 cups of coffee. Marshall: That's it? Brother 2: Oh, yeah. But we get to decide what you wear. Marshall: Agreed. Totally agreed. Marshall is in a drive-in naked in his car. Man: You're naked. Marshall: I'm aware of that. Man: You have 50 cents? Marshall: No... Look, can I just have my coffee, please? Man: Sorry, we're all out of trays and lids. Two tall guys just came through here a few minutes ago and bought 'em all. Marshall puts the cups of coffee in the car, then his brothers jump at him to scare him, so Marshall stops the car and because of it all the cups of coffee fall on him and it burns him. End of flashback. Ted: And that is the origin of Marshall's insane "no food or drinks in the Fiero, not even groceries" rule. Marshall: It is not insane. Lily: Barney. That's like the third one in a row that you've screwed up. Barney: Well, I'm trying, but it's... Lily: Look. You fold twice to the middle, fold back and forth, pull the ends out, flip over, open the flaps, fold the edges, crease the front, fold in half, fold the wings down, push in the bottom corners, and fold the wings back out. Or would you like one of my kindergartners to show you? Barney: Wait, wait, wait. Wait, I think I've got it. Lily: No. Forget it; the paper's too expensive. You're out. Barney: Aw, nerts. Ted: The food rule is insane. We could have died because of it. Remember the 100K fiasco? Marshall: Ah, the Fiero-asco. Ted: Dude, I told you that doesn't work. It's the 100K fiasco. Robin: What's the 100K fiasco? Marshall: The Fiero-asco? Ted: It was just before winter break our freshman year of college. Marshall and I were roommates, but we weren't really good friends yet. Marshall: I thought Ted was a little bit pretentious. Ted: And Marshall was a total slob. Flashback. College. Marshall comes in the room while Ted's on the bed reading. Marshall: Hey (Marshall throws a sandwich in the trash but misses it) I'm driving my Fiero back over break. I know we see enough of each other as it is, but if you want a ride, I could use the gas money. You live in Ohio, right? I could swing through and pick you up. Ted: All right, first of all, my parents live in Ohio. I live in the moment. Plus, Karen and I haven't seen each other since Thanksgiving. We're both really invested in making this long-distance thing work, so... Marshall: All right, well, call me if you change your mind. My odometer's going to hit 100K. Ted: She'd be so bummed if I left early. In Marshall's car... Ted: It was totally mutual. I mean, Karen brought it up first, but I... it was... it was totally mutual. Marshall: I hear you. Ted: So what's up with you and Lily? Anything serious Marshall: Yeah. Dude, we're college freshmen. I'm not going to get tied down by the first chick I hook up with. Lily's cool, but this bird you'll never chain, you know? Ted(voix off): The next few hours of our drive were classic road trip. Ted: So... this song. Marshall: Oh, it's the best song in the world. It's the only song I like. Just kidding. Tape's been stuck in the player for, like, two years. Better than nothing, though. Ted: Maybe. I am so... sick... of this song. Marshall: Don't worry. It comes around again. Ted: What do you mean? Ted and Marshall singing: Just to be the man who walks 1,000 miles And falls down at your door... Marshall: Yeah, we totally nailed the ending. Ted: That was probably our best one. Hey, you want to play Zitch Dog? Marshall: What? Ted: Uh, it's a car game. Every time you see a dog, you got to be the first one to say, "Zitch dog." I'm pretty good, so... Marshall: Zitch dog. Ted: Well, no, I didn't know we had...we'd started, but... Okay, that's cool. You got the first point. Marshall: Zitch dog. Ted: Zitch dog. Damn it! Ted: Are we still playing? 'Cause I wasn't... I wasn't really... Marshall: 12-nothing. Marshall's sleeping and Ted driving. Ted: Marshall. Marshall. Marshall: Zitch dog, blue Suburban. Ted: Damn it! Marshall: 18-nothing. Ted (voix off): Then Marshall, who was so busy cheating at Zitch Dog, got us totally lost. Marshall: Where the hell are we?! End of flashback. In the garage. Marshall: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. I think you skipped something. Barney: Really? Seems impossible. Flashback. Ted's driving the car... Ted: Hey, we got some time. What do you say we get off the highway, take the road less traveled, you know? Robert Frost. Marshall: Doesn't seem like a smart idea. Ted: Too late. I'm taking this exit. Who's not fun enough now, Karen? Marshall: Then we got lost. Where the hell are we?! I'm pulling over. Ted: No, keep driving. Marshall: We're almost out of gas, and we might not even be on a road anymore. Ted: It's below zero out. If we pull over, we could be snowed in for days. Plus, I only have, like, six granola bars and three bottles of water. Marshall: Nah, I threw them out. Ted: What?! Marshall: No food or drink in the Fiero. Ted: No food or drink in the F...? You haven't washed your sheets since... (Voix off): Thus began the longest night of our lives. Marshall: Pretty sure that my foot is frozen solid. Ted: Marshall... there's a very real chance that we're gonna be snowed in here for days. If I die first, do whatever you need to survive. Eat my flesh. Slice me open like a tauntaun, whatever. Marshall: Thanks, Ted. You're a good friend. And if I die first, you just leave my body alone. Ted: What? I just said you could cut me open and crawl inside me. Marshall: Yeah, don't do any of that stuff to me; it skeeves me out. Ted: But... but you're dead, and I'm gonna die if I don't. Marshall: Wasn't an easy decision. Ted: This is all because of your insane no-food rule. Marshall: It's perfectly rational. They start fighting. Ted: Hey! My spectacles! Hey. I know we're low on gas, but can we turn on the heat for just a minute? Marshall: Okay. Dude... I hate to say this... but it's so cold... there's only one way that we're gonna make it through this night.(they're both in the back seat in each other arms) We should've kept driving. Ted: Come on, Marshall. Marshall: No. No. We might die now. I may never see Lily again. I never told anybody this, but... I've known for a long time that I'm gonna marry that girl. If we survive this, someday I'm gonna marry her. I'm sorry about your spectacles. Ted: That's okay. They were decorative. Hey, Marshall. Marshall: Yeah? Ted: Are you still thinking about Lily? Marshall: Yeah. Ted: Please stop.(voix off) And so Marshall and I thought we were gonna die out there in the middle of nowhere. But funny thing... [SCENE_BREAK] Ted and Marshall are sleeping in the car which is next to a hotel. A man knocks onthe window. Man: Hey. You lovers better just keep on driving. Marshall: Zitch dog! Ted: Damn it! End of flashback. In the garage... Lily: You said you were gonna marry me that long ago? That is so sweet. Ted: That trip is when Marshall and I became best friends. Barney: With privileges, from the sound of it. Mechanic: Eriksen. (Marshall follows the mechanic) Barney: Wow. Looks like he really needs a hug. Ted. Marshall: He said it would be at least 3,000 bucks to make it run again. And even then, there's no guarantee. Ted: Well, it's a pretty old car. Robin: Yeah. You can keep prolonging its life, but it's really mostly machine at this point. Marshall: I know that it's a lot of money, but it's my Fiero, you know? I'm about to graduate and take some sellout corporate law job, and without that Fiero, I'm just another guy in a suit. Barney: How dare you... Robibn: Hey. Marshall: I've been through so much in that car. The suicidal cat. Marshall are kissing in the car when a cat jumps in the roof. Marshall: Hitchhiking Waldo. (a guy is sitting between Barney and Marshall in the car)The homeless guy who broke in through the window and threw up all over the backseat. Robin: Lily, don't. Be strong. Do not go all "prisoner's dilemma" on me. Lily: The car's on its deathbed, Robin. I have to clear my conscience. Marshall: Guys, what are you talking about? Lily: Okay. Shortly after we met Robin, she and I were jonesing for Thai food from this one place. Flashback. In Ted's apartment... Robin: An hour and a half delivery. We can't wait that long. Lily: I wish we could take the Fiero, but Marshall has this insane no-food rule. Robin: But Thai food, Lily. Pad Yum Mao. Tom Kai Gah. Thai See Ran. Lily: Oh! You're just saying random syllables, and it still sounds delicious. Okay. Here's what we'll do. We'll drive over, pick it up, have them double-bag it, very carefully drive it back here with the windows open, and he'll never know. (Lily slows down the car and knock down the food). Wow, these brakes are really sensitive. Oh, Marshall is gonna kill me! This and the difference between "affect" and "effect" are the only two things he's really serious about. Robin: Lily, it's gonna be fine. Lily: No, it's not. Marshall's gonna freak. Oh, God, oh, God. What are we gonna do? Oh, God, oh...! Robin: Shut up! Now, listen to me. The clock is ticking. Okay, first thing, we scoop up all these little pieces of tofu and cabbage. Next, what we need to take care of are the really messy parts-- the pools that have collected. We got to soak that soup up. Last is the smell. We got to cover up that Tom Kah Gai. You mentioned cigars. Lily: There's two in the glove compartment, but he's been saving them. Robin: Hand me those chopsticks. Hey, how about some tunes? Oh, great song. Lily: These cigars aren't helping at all. Robin: Yeah. This was a terrible idea. Lily: Now it just smells like a homeless guy threw up in here. End of flasback. Marshall: The broken windows? Lily: We had to make it look realistic. Marshall: Why did you break two of them? Robin: It looked like fun when she did it. So I wanted to try. Marshall: Can't believe this whole time it was you guys. I've been blaming really tanned dancing leotard guy. Lily: Marshall, I'm so sorry, but sharing that secret-- that's when Robin and I became best friends. Mechanic: Wow. What a special car. So, can I crush it into a little cube yet? Marshall: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Barney: Come on, Marshall. This is your Fiero. You know the rightthing to do here. Robin: Wow, Barney, why do you love that car so much? Barney: Love it? Hold on a second. Love it? I hate it! Lily: What? Why? Barney: Why? Why? Why?! Why?! Ted: Let me tell it. It was last year during the transit strike. Flasback. Barney comes into Ted's apartment. Ted: Hey. Barney: Hey. Uh, is Marshall around? I have a massage in Queens in half an hour. I need a ride. Ted: Uh, no, he's at the library all day. Just take the keys. Barney: Hey! Why don't you drive me? It'll be like a total road trip. Ted: To Queens? Barney: Yeah, we'll get, we'll get beef jerky, Triscuits. Ted:Uh, actually I have a lot of work to do, so. Barney: Okay. Well, anyway, I'll cancel. See you later. Ted: Wait! You know how to drive, right? Barney: What, of course I know how to drive. I love driving. Hitting the road. Cruising the lanes. And braking. Honking. Love it. Except for lady drivers. Don't get me started on lady drivers. Ted: Which pedal's the gas? Barney: Trick question. Ted: No, it's not Barney: Yes, it is. Ted: No, it's not. Barney: Middle, left, right? I never learned how to drive! I grew up in the city. I never had a chance. Ted: Well, guess what? You're getting your chance. Because I'm going to teach you. Barney Stinson, buckle up. Barney's driving and Ted's teaching him. Barney: This isn't right. God never meant for us to travel at such breakneck speeds. Ted: Relax. You're doing great. Ignore the old lady on the rascal; this isn't a race. Barney: Dude, a dog. Ted: Zitch dogs, this. Or nothing. Barney: What do I do? Tell me what to do, Ted. Ted: Step on the brakes. Sometime in the next 20 minutes. Barney: Which? Which one's the break again? Ted: The left one. Barney: Left. Oh, man, left. I'm totally blanking. Ted: Make the Ls .Barney: Oh, we're not going to make it. Ted: Why did you just turn on the radio? Barney: I don't know why I turned on the radio! We're going to die. Tell me what to do, Ted. Ted: Relax. You're being crazy. Barney: Help me, Ted! I'm being serious. Ted: Stop, drop and roll. Screaming is fun! Screaming is fun! Barney: I can't move. I can't... I can't feel my... Wait. Wait. We're okay. Ted: We're okay. Barney: We're okay. It's a miracle, Ted! End of flaxhback. Robin: Wow. Sounds like you had some accident in that car. Ted: Actually, he had two accidents if you add the fact that he... Barney: ummina-hummina-hummina-hummina ummina-hummina-hummina hummina. I shouldn't even be here, thanks to that deathtrap. But fate... fate gave me a second chance. And helped me realize that our days on this planet are too few to squander. So I decided from that moment on to continue living life to its fullest. Lily: So you made a life-changing decision to not change your life at all. Barney: True story. Marshall: Guys. This Fiero's meant a lot to all of us. Friendships were made. Adventures had. Horrors faced. That's why we have to get rid of it. Barney: Yes! Ted and Robin: What? Marshall: It's lived a great life and it deserves to die with dignity.Ted: But 200,000... Marshall: But that's life. You know? You never end up where you thought you wanted to be. I'm not helping the environment. Ted's not a philosopher. Lily's not not a world-famous artist. Barney's never driven more than ten miles an hour. Robin, I'm sure, has also experience disappointment in her life. Maybe? And my Fiero's not a Fiero that went 200,000 miles. It's okay. You know? Those are old dreams. We'll get a new car and we'll fill that one up with new memories. And that'll be the car we had when we were first married. When we owned our first house. Maybe even the first car our four kids remember. Lily: That's so sweet. The first car our two kids remember. Marshall: I would like to say good-bye. Marshall is in the car and the other are around it. Marshall taps the dashboard and the cassette goes out. Ted: You know what? This Fiero, it's effected all our lives. Marshall: Affected. Ted: That's what I said. Marshall: Just making sure. Got us all a lot of places. I mean maybe it's time we return the favor. This Fiero should have made it to 200,000. So, let's get it out that door. And we'll push it the last.7 miles. It'd do the same for us. Marshall puts the cassette back in and they all start to push. Maechanic: Hey, geniuses. The back wheels are on blocks. That car ain't going anywhere. Marshall: Close enough! All: Close enough! Ted (voix off): And so Marshall said good-bye to his Fiero. And as the car's final gift to us all, the money he got for scrap parts paid our bar tab for the next two nights. At the bar... Marshall: Arrivederci, Fiero! You were the freaking giving tree of cars.Lily: May you rust in peace. Barney: Rot in hell, devil steed. Ted (voix off): And what better friend is there than that? Flashback. Marshall and his brother are in the Fiero. Marshall: Bro. Have you heard this new song? I just got the cassingle. Brother: Put it in. Marshall: I am never going to get sick of this song. Never, ever, never, never, ever. Yeah!

Plan: A: Marshall's beloved 1988 Fiero; Q: What car dies just short of 200,000 miles? A: the 200,000-mile mark; Q: Marshall's Fiero died just short of reaching what milestone? A: their greatest memories; Q: What do the gang relive in Marshall's car? Summary: Marshall's beloved 1988 Fiero dies just short of reaching the 200,000-mile mark, leading the gang to relive their greatest memories in the car.

The War Games By Malcolm Hulke and Terrance Dicks 5:15pm - 5:40pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1, EXT: HILLSIDE ROAD (A large group of men rushes towards the Doctor Jamie and Zoe from the distance, yelling loudly. They are clad in metal and leather tunics and have shiny metal helmets, all have long shields and swords drawn. To the front, a wooden chariot pulled by two galloping horses carries a rider, and the soldier at the lead bears a large gold banner bearing the emblem of an eagle and a laurel wreath with the word SPQR emblazoned on it.) ZOE: Oh come on! (They scramble back down the hill towards the Carstairs, Lady Jennifer and waiting ambulance as fast as their legs will carry them.) DOCTOR: Start the engine! ZOE: Quick! JAMIE: Look! (Carstairs turns to Lady Jennifer.) CARSTAIRS: Switch on! (She rushes into the cab and the others climb into the back of the ambulance. Carstairs rushes to the engine and desperately cranks the handle. The Roman garrison rush inexorably down the hill towards them. Carstairs cranks again and again and suddenly the tired old engine splutters into life and Carstairs jumps in. Lady Jennifer throws the ambulance into reverse and slowly backs the ambulance up causing it to fade away again. As the Romans reach the point where the ambulance vanished they all freeze with their mouths open. At first it appears as if they have stopped in astonishment, but they are standing completely still; frozen in mid-scream as if by going near the barrier they had suddenly switched themselves off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2, EXT: 1917 ROAD (The ambulance reappears on the dirt track and then stops.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3, INT: AMBULANCE ZOE: That was a close shave! Oh where are we Doctor? JAMIE: Oh no, we're not back here again! (The Doctor turns to Carstairs.) DOCTOR: Ah, Lieutenant Carstairs, is this the only map you're supplied with? CARSTAIRS: Yes, that's the one. DOCTOR: It's a bit inadequate isn't it? BUCKINGHAM: Doctor, who were those people who attacked us just now? DOCTOR: Oh they were Romans. CARSTAIRS: Oh but that's impossible! DOCTOR: Oh, lots of impossible things happen when you pass through time. BUCKINGHAM: Time? But no-one can alter time! DOCTOR: Look, it is nineteen-seventeen where we are now on this map. Where we were attacked by the Romans it is two-thousand years ago. CARSTAIRS: But surely Doctor... DOCTOR: Surely before we met the Romans we passed through a, through a mist didn't we? A gas you called it. Now supposing this mist is a barrier between different time-zones? ZOE: I see! So we went off the edge of this map and into a different time-zone! DOCTOR: Yes...what we need is a map which covers all the time zones! I'm afraid we shall have to get back to General Smythe's headquarters, to the Chateaux. JAMIE: Well how are we gonna get back there? (The Doctor turns to an astonished Carstairs.) DOCTOR: You will take us! [SCENE_BREAK] 4, INT: RANSOM'S OFFICE (Captain Ransom is on the telephone.) RANSOM: Not trace of them? Well keep searching! (He wearily slams down the receiver. The large "SALOON BAR" doors the Ransom's office open and the Doctor and group walk into the room with Carstairs pointing a gun at them.) CARSTAIRS: Lieutenant Carstairs reporting, sir. I brought back the prisoners. (Angrily, Ransom jumps up and unseen by him Jamie slips quietly behind.) RANSOM: Carstairs what on Earth are you up to?! And what do you mean by giving me that fake report from the General?! I warn you Carstairs, you're in very serious trouble! You're i... (Carstairs gets bored with his blustering and does something he's been wanting to do for a long time. He swings the revolver to cover Ransom, but in deference to his rank he still loath to be uncivil to his superior.) RANSOM: Have you gone mad?! CARSTAIRS: I'm sorry about this, sir. RANSOM: You'll be shot for this Carstairs! CARSTAIRS: Yes sir. (Ransom reaches for his gun, but Jamie is on it. He grabs it from Ransom's holster before he can get it. Carstairs levels the gun closer and more fiercely.) CARSTAIRS: Don't do anything foolish sir. I think it might be better if you raised your hands. (Ransom does as he is told. Seeing everything going well, the Doctor moves over to the other side of the room where he searches for maps.) CARSTAIRS: Bandages Doctor! DOCTOR: What? Oh yes... I'm afraid that there's nothing here, only local maps. Here we are. Perhaps there's something in the General's room. I'll go and see. RANSOM: This is mutiny, I order you..! (Jamie gleefully stuffs a handkerchief into English officer's mouth and ties the bandages around to keep it in.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5, INT: SMYTHE'S ROOM (The Doctor walks through and looks around, he moves the pillow in a cursory examination, but as he thought it would no be something which the General would leave in plain sight. He moves to the large iron safe in the corner of the room and examines the lock. Carstairs Joins the Doctor.) CARSTAIRS: Did you find anything? DOCTOR: Well only this safe. (Carstairs looks at the Doctor with a touch of sarcasm.) CARSTAIRS: No, we'd never get inside that. We'd have to blow it up. DOCTOR: Oh what a good idea! CARSTAIRS: You serious? DOCTOR: Well this is a military establishment, there must be some explosives around here. CARSTAIRS: Right, I'll see what I can find. (Carstairs leaves and Jamie joins the Doctor.) DOCTOR: Jamie, I wonder whether perhaps I can pick this lock. JAMIE: Aye, with a tuning fork? (The Doctor shoots Jamie a look.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6, INT: RANSOM'S OFFICE (Carstairs looks around for anything he can use. He pulls the top off an ammunition crate with a loud clatter and peers inside. On the floor behind a sofa a bandage wrapped Ransom wriggles about looking like a badly wrapped human mummy. He desperately struggles to free himself from his bonds.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7, INT: SMYTHE'S ROOM (The Doctor is trying to pick the lock of the safe with a bent pin.) JAMIE: Oh come on Doctor, we haven't got all night! Someone's bound to turn up! DOCTOR: Yes I know Jamie! Oh dear this is useless. (Carstairs strolls briskly into the room carrying a metal pineapple-shaped grenade with a green band around it.) JAMIE: What's that thing? CARSTAIRS: It's a Mills bomb, it's all I could find. I thought that we might hang it on the front of the safe and let it off. (He hands it to the Doctor who examines it.) DOCTOR: Oh well yes, that might blow the room up very nicely, but I don't think it would affect the safe much. (The Doctor continues to chat matter-of-factly as he dismantles the grenade. He unscrews the top.) DOCTOR: Ah, you see we have to concentrate the... CARSTAIRS: Look out! DOCTOR: ...whole explosion in, ah, into the lock there. (He removes an inner portion and pokes his fingers inside as if he were doing nothing more dangerous than unblocking a sink.) CARSTAIRS: ...Blow us all up! DOCTOR: Now then, if I can, if I can pack the explosive into the lock and then detonate it. Ah...we are! There! Now then, ah yes I see... (The Doctor pulls out a mini-component, and pulls out the pin. The springloaded lever on the grenade pops open and the Doctor accidently drops it. Jamie and Carstairs recoil.) CARSTAIRS: Agh! For goodness sake be careful, that's Amatol in there! DOCTOR: It's alright, I do have the detonator you know! (He holds up a miniature fuse-like component.) DOCTOR: Now then, press to release this...there we are...now what have we got? Oh yeh... (He tips the grenade's contents onto a grubby paper bag and holds up the fuse.) DOCTOR: This, er, this fuse - how long does it last? CARSTAIRS: About four seconds. DOCTOR: Oh, that's not very good is it? (He fingers one of the tassels on Jamie's sporran, then decides against it. Reaching up he lifts down a silver candle holder, removes the candle and snaps it in two then tugs the wax from the wick.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8, INT: RANSOM'S OFFICE (Ransom struggles desperately against his bonds.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9, INT: SMYTHE'S ROOM (Having tipped the powder into the lock and packed it in tightly, the Doctor very delicately pushes the wick of the candle into the centre. He dusts off his hands and sighs.) DOCTOR: There we are! RANSOM OOV: HELP! HELP! (Carstairs rushes out.) [SCENE_BREAK] 10, INT: RANSOM'S OFFICE (Ransom is screaming at the top of his voice.) RANSOM: SERGEANT-MAJOR! HELP! (Carstairs replaces the gag which has fallen from his mouth.) CARSTAIRS: Sorry about this sir, can't have you making a row! (He gets up from behind the sofa and looks straight into the face of the young Lieutenant Crane.) CRANE: Hello. CARSTAIRS: Hah...dropped my pen. CRANE: Ah. Captain Ransom about? CARSTAIRS: No, I'm looking after things. Can I help? CRANE: Well it's a bit tricky actually. The sentry found these two ladies hiding in an ambulance. CARSTAIRS: Well? What about it? CRANE: Well you remember there was this spy flap earlier today. Something about them getting away in an ambulance and one of them was a woman. (He looks at Carstairs again.) CRANE: I don't think we've met before have we? [SCENE_BREAK] 11, INT: SMYTHE'S ROOM (The Doctor strikes a match and holds it to the wick which is sticking out of the lock of the safe.) DOCTOR: Now we light the blue touch paper and retire immediately! (He and Jamie run to one side and crouch down by the bed. Jamie wraps his head in the pillow and the Doctor sticks his fingers in his ears looking for all the world like as if they are in a 30s gangster movie.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12, INT: RANSOM'S OFFICE (Lady Jennifer steps forward.) BUCKINGHAM: This is all completely ridiculous! (Carstairs ignores her.) CARSTAIRS: You know old chap you can leave them to me. I can sort it out. (Crane looks reluctant to go back out into the cold again.) CRANE: But don't you think I'd better wait for Captain Ransom? CARSTAIRS: He may be quite some time. CRANE: I can wait. How long d'you say you've been on attachment here? [SCENE_BREAK] 13, INT: SMYTHE'S ROOM (Jamie looks up, listens to the voices coming from the other room and whispers to the Doctor.) JAMIE: Someone's out there with Carstairs! (Cautiously he and the Doctor move to the door to listen.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14, INT: RANSOM'S OFFICE CARSTAIRS: You may...leave them to me old chap, it's quite under control. CRANE: Oh well...right you are! Sorry about this, do hope you understand. Can't afford to take chances you see. ZOE: We quite understand. [SCENE_BREAK] 15, INT: SMYTHE'S ROOM (The voices from the other room continue.) DOCTOR: We shall have to put the fuse out! (He rushes towards the safe, but the flame has crept up the naked wick and is almost to the lock.) DOCTOR: It's too late! Duck! (They both throw themselves to the side.) [SCENE_BREAK] 16, INT: RANSOM'S OFFICE CRANE: Cheerio! (The door closes.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17, INT: SMYTHE'S ROOM (With a titanic boom the door of the safe pops open in a cloud of smoke.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18, INT: RANSOM'S OFFICE (The Corporal races back into the room.) CORPORAL: What the blazes?! (He rushes towards the General's room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19, INT: SMYTHE'S ROOM (Crane rushes in to find the Doctor and Jamie hacking and coughing with a cloud of smoke issuing from the inside of the safe and it's shattered door. He hears a click of a gun being cocked and turns to see Carstairs pointing a revolver at him. Slowly raises his hands. Carstairs removes Crane's weapon.) CARSTAIRS: Now don't do anything foolish old boy! Doc, have you got any more bandages? (The Doctor fishes out the map delightedly and reads.) DOCTOR: Ah. Yes...here we are Jamie. (He hands over a bundle of bandages.) CRANE: You're Carstairs, the one who went off with the spies! (Jamie begins to wrap the bandages around the Corporal's hands. Carstairs motions with his gun.) CARSTAIRS: Come on! (They move through. The Doctor wastes no time in finding his map, and spreads it out on the ground. To say that the map is unusual would be an understatement. It is divided into twelve triangular segments each tessellating to form a pattern over the landscape. Each segment is marked with a different war in a different time and place, but all are from the planet Earth, 1917 being the most advanced time of them all. <img src="../http://dwtpscripts.tripod.com/2nddoc/zz/zz03.jpeg"> The Doctor points to each segment in turn.) DOCTOR: Ah, look Zoe! Nineteen-seventeen Zone, Roman Zone, American Civil-War Zone! This whole place is divided into time-zones! ZOE: But there's a blank space in the middle there's nothing marked at all! DOCTOR: Yes. Yes, and I think that that's where we've got to get to! [SCENE_BREAK] 20, EXT: ROAD (The ambulance judders over the muddy ground. It beeps it's horn three times, twice more, then grinds to a halt as four German troops rush up and level large, ugly-looking rifles. The Doctor wearily raises his hands.) DOCTOR: This is an ambulance! Ah, we have a seriously wounded officer in the back! (Skeptically the officer in charge moves around to the back of the ambulance. Having heard the dialogue Carstairs lies down and Lady Jennifer and Zoe make a show of tending to him. The German soldier moves to the front again and addresses the Doctor.) GERMAN OFFICER: Sie müssen mit uns kommen! DOCTOR: Ah. You want me to come with you. Ah well, if you put it like that, yes. Here we go... [SCENE_BREAK] 21, EXT GERMAN TRENCH (Jamie and Zoe sit on a pile of sandbags as they wait as above them an ignorant soldier blasts noisily away with a rifle.) ZOE: Well what's going to happen to us?! JAMIE: Ah, foreigners! Look, what's the use of pretending that Carstairs is injured? They're bound to find out sooner or later. ZOE: Well at least it stopped them from taking him to a prison camp, besides it's safe in the ambulance with Jennifer. JAMIE: Aye, for how long though? ZOE: Well perhaps the Doctor will be able to talk them into letting us go! JAMIE: Aye! [SCENE_BREAK] 22, INT: GERMAN TRENCH (Inside the trenches, the cold and muddy rathole has been converted into as neat a military post as possible just as the English lines had been. The precise neatly-bearded Leutnant Lücke stands before the Doctor looking every bit as if he were Barrington's opposite number.) LÜCKE: For ze last time what is your name? DOCTOR: Why don't you just call me Doctor? LÜCKE: That is not a name! I want your full name! DOCTOR: Oh very well, er, Doctor John Smith. (Lücke smiles coldly.) LÜCKE: Good! Now we are getting somewhere. (He walks over to the desk and writes in his report book.) LÜCKE: What are you doing behind our lines? DOCTOR: Well we were lost you see. LÜCKE: So, you are lost! And very conveniently you find your way through our lines. DOCTOR: Wh-I realise this must seem rather strange. LÜCKE: I find it both strange and suspicious. DOCTOR: But I can assure you we're quite harmless! LÜCKE: Three people dressed in civilian clothes trying to infiltrate through our lines. Admit it, you're spies! DOCTOR: No-no-no, we are not spies! LÜCKE: Then tell me where you came from before you were picked up by zat ambulance. DOCTOR: Well you see that's rather difficult to explain. LÜCKE: Everything seems to be difficult for you to explain. (He slowly points an ugly looking Luger at the Doctor.) LÜCKE: I advise you to tell me the truth. Now! DOCTOR: Alright, if you insist. [SCENE_BREAK] 23, EXT: GERMAN TRENCH (Jamie and Zoe are still sitting in the dug out waiting as the battle still rages a few metres away. A sympathetic German soldier approaches them with two spiked tin helmets, then walks away without a word. They place the helmets upon their heads.) JAMIE: Oh! I don't know how they stick it out here! ZOE: It's the same with the British remember. JAMIE: Aye. What a way to fight though, hiding in wee holes and blasting each other with big guns! ZOE: Oh! (Zoe jumps at a particularly large explosion and swings her legs over Jamie.) ZOE: Oh I wish we could get out of here Jamie! [SCENE_BREAK] 24, INT: GERMAN TRENCH LÜCKE: Ozer planets? A time-machine? Ze girl is from ze future and the boy is from ze past? DOCTOR: Well you told me to tell you the truth! LÜCKE: I think you must be mad! DOCTOR: Why don't you ask my companions if you don't believe me? (Lücke moves to the Doorway.) LÜCKE: Bringen Sie die anderen Engländer herein! Sofort! We shall soon see if your stories are the same. (He addresses Zoe.) LÜCKE: Young woman, where did you meet this man? DOCTOR: Tell him the truth, both of you! LÜCKE: Silence! Well? ZOE: We met at a space-station. LÜCKE: A space-station! (He turns to Jamie.) LÜCKE: And you, where did you meet zis man? JAMIE: Ah, in Scotland. LÜCKE: Ah, so. Now tell me, when? JAMIE: Ah, in seventeen forty-five. I-I was fighting the Redcoats. LÜCKE: you were fighting the Redcoats...in seventeen forty-five?! Zat ambulance, was it going to a hospital or to a lunatic asylum?! DOCTOR: Oh dear. Look-look, I can prove to you that we come from another time. This is a sonic screwdriver. (He holds up a small device resembling a pencil-torch.) DOCTOR: Now where can I demonstrate... Ah, that revolver will do. (Lücke looks at him suspiciously.) DOCTOR: It's alright. (Slowly and cautiously the Leutnant places his weapon on the table, but keeps his hand upon it. The Doctor points his slim black device and pressed a concealed button. A buzzing sound and a strange glow comes from the tool and a screw in the handle begins to revolve until it is standing proud of the gun.) DOCTOR: There we are! (The Doctor waits a few moments before screwing Lücke's weapon back together again.) DOCTOR: And back it goes. LÜCKE: Phantastisch! DOCTOR: Do you believe me now?! LÜCKE: But it's impossible. You did not touch the screw it just...moved. Is it possible you are telling ze truth? (The small, pallid, bullet-bald form of Von-Weich creeps through a doorway. His uniform makes him out to be a German Kapitän and across one side of his pudgy, moist face a deep livid scar runs from eyebrow to jaw. His beady eyes glare across the room like two malevolent coals.) VON-WEICH: Leutnant Lücke! (Lücke snaps to attention.) LÜCKE: Jawohl mein herr! VON-WEICH: Wer sind diese Leute? LÜCKE: Wir haben hier... VON-WEICH: Was ist hier los? LÜCKE: Wir haben hier drei Englische zivilisten herr Kapitän! (Von-Weich approaches the Doctor and gazes at him.) VON-WEICH: What are you doing here? Where do you come from? LÜCKE: Er hat mir gesagt, dass er aus einem anderen Zeitalter in etwas namen TARDIS! VON-WEICH: Time-travellers? DOCTOR: Well it is a bit difficult to understand, but... VON-WEICH: Leutnant Lücke! Kommen sie mit mir. (Von-Weich leads Lücke though a curtained partition.) [SCENE_BREAK] 25, INT: TRENCH BACK ROOM (Von-Weich places a monocle in his eye and fixes the Leutnant with a terrifying hypno-stare.) VON-WEICH: Es sind Englische spione! Wir müssen sie festhalten! Ich werde mit dem General darüber sprechen. LÜCKE: Jawohl herr Kapitän Von-Weich. (Von-Weich nods to Lücke.) [SCENE_BREAK] 26, INT: GERMAN TRENCH (Lücke walks stiffly into the main room.) LÜCKE: You are dangerous English spies. DOCTOR: But this is ridiculous! LÜCKE: You are spies! And you are going to be shot! (The Doctor looks exhausted.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27, INT: VON-WEICH'S ROOM (In his room Von-Weich opens up a portrait of Kaiser Wilhelm II. Within is a communications device exactly the same as the one in Smythe's room. He looks around and then operates the machine.) VON-WEICH: Von-Weich, nineteen-Seventeen German front line to central control. We have captured three people who escaped from the British sector. They claim to be time-travellers. [SCENE_BREAK] 28, INT: GERMAN TRENCH DOCTOR: NO-no-no! We are NOT SPIES! Er, the sonic screwdriver. We've just shown you... With the gun! (Lücke looks confused.) LÜCKE: Yes... You did something with ze gun... JAMIE: Ah, let the Doctor show you again. DOCTOR: Yes Jamie, now-now it's very simple. Put the gun on the table. (The Leutnant hesitates.) DOCTOR: You can keep your hand on it again if you like! Now, watch. (The gun is placed upon the table and the Doctor repeats his earlier unscrewing action.) LÜCKE: Yes! And zen you put it back again! DOCTOR: That's right! (The Doctor reverses his screwing action. Lücke stands up and puts his hand to his head looking quite confused.) LÜCKE: Is it possible?! DOCTOR: Oh we've got lots of tricks like that! Let me show you...catch Jamie (He snatches up the Luger and throws it to Jamie who neatly catches it and points it at the Leutnant.) DOCTOR: Now Lieutenant, I'm sorry about this, but perhaps you'd be good enough to take us back to our ambulance?! [SCENE_BREAK] 29, INT: WAR ROOM (The War Room is revealed properly for the first time. It is extremely large, stark and futuristic with walls lined with rows of computer banks with lights winking on and off, and desks lit by strange curving lamps. In the centre of the room is a large clear perspex game map showing in detail all of the time zones with communication devices set into each. Placed upon the map at strategic points are several toy soldiers encapsulated inside transparent oblong blocks representing the human forces on the ground. All around the room are technicians wearing funny white visors over their eyes and General Smythe stands before the map. Towards the back of the room is a desk with another visored technician sitting behind. A screeching alarm echoes though the War Room and three guards dressed in rubber S&M type outfits and visors, carrying electronic cattle-prod like stun-guns rush through the door and stand to attention, as do the technicians. The tall, dark, imposing figure of the War-Chief strides into the War Room. He is dressed in a neat black outfit, has piercing blue eyes and a long moustache that is almost, but not quite a short stubby beard. Around his neck he wears a long gold chain and pendant shaped in the square and crossing elipses that represent the Arcalian seal of Omega. He nods to Smythe. Smythe turns to the technicians and ushers them away before facing the War-Chief again.) SMYTHE: Did you have a comfortable trip sir? (The War-Chief regards the General in the manner of a hungry serpent would a rather small mouse.) WAR-CHIEF: Excellent. The War-Lord is pleased with our work. But the rate of progress must be accelerated. SMYTHE: A report I might add sir, the prisoners that escaped from the Chateaux been recaptured in the German lines. I have advised they be shot immediately. They gave some ridiculous story about being time-travellers! WAR-CHIEF: Time travellers..? (He thinks for a moment.) WAR-CHIEF: And you ordered them to be shot? I want them brought here for re-interrogation. (The wailing alarm sounds through the chamber again. The War-Chief and Smythe turn to a nearby communicator and as it blinks on they see the face of Von-Weich.) VON-WEICH: Those prisoners have escaped. They will probably go back to your line. SMYTHE: How did that happen? VON-WEICH: They tricked my human Lieutenant. SMYTHE: Oh that's sheer incompetence! WAR-CHIEF: They also escaped from you General Smythe. (He addresses Von-Weich.) WAR-CHIEF: Organise pursuit and report back here. VON-WEICH: Sir. (The screen goes blank.) WAR-CHIEF: Issue a general alert. (The general moves eagerly forward, but the War-Chief puts up a hand to stop him and whispers menacingly.) WAR-CHIEF: But I want these people captured alive. (He allows the General past again.) SMYTHE: General alert to all time zones. Five escaped prisoners travelling in a nineteen-seventeen British Army ambulance clearly marked with a red cross. These prisoners may be capable of crossing the time-zone barriers. Officers are to describe the ambulance to their human troops as a hostile vehicle which much be d-destroyed at all costs! (Across the room the War-Chief ponders to himself. For a moment his inner thoughts are revealed.) WAR-CHIEF VO: Time travellers? I wonder... SMYTHE OOV: The description of the prisoners is as follows... [SCENE_BREAK] 30, EXT: ROAD (The ambulance drives down a country road, beside a tree a concealed soldier pulls out a gun. The vehicle stops and Carstairs gets out and walks over to the back of the ambulance.) [SCENE_BREAK] 31, INT: AMBULANCE (Carstairs enters the ambulance and moves over to the Doctor.) CARSTAIRS: Can I have a look at that map Doctor? DOCTOR: Yeah yeah. CARSTAIRS: We've just gone through another one of those mists and we've gone off the edge of my map. ZOE: Well where do you think we are Doctor? DOCTOR: I think we're right about there. ZOE: America 1862. That was the American Civil-War wasn't it? Another war?! (They hear then sound of two shots.) CARSTAIRS: Get down! (Carstairs Scrambles out.) [SCENE_BREAK] 32, EXT: ROAD (Carstairs moves out keeping low, and fires at his opponent who shoots back again.) CARSTAIRS: Get MOVING! (Slowly the ambulance pulls away and leaves, Carstairs stays with it for cover as it drives. The back flap of the ambulance opens and the Doctor peers out at their attacker.) [SCENE_BREAK] 33, INT: AMBULANCE ZOE: Oh Doctor be careful! DOCTOR: Zoe we're right that was an American Civil-War soldier. JAMIE: You mean we're mixed up in another war now?! DOCTOR: Yes. Well it-it means we're on the right road, and we're still making for that blank space in the middle of the map. [SCENE_BREAK] 34, EXT: ROAD (The Ambulance drives down the road. Suddenly a tree falls across the road blocking their way. Carstairs disembarks and looks around suspiciously, his gun raised.) CARSTAIRS: JAMIE (Jamie, the Doctor and Zoe Join him. There is the sound of a shot as a Confederate soldier fires his rifle from the cover of some bracken and everyone hits the ground. On a hillside two more soldiers begin to shoot at them with handguns. Carstairs aims and picks off the nearest hillside soldier.) CARSTAIRS: GET THAT TREE MOVED! DOCTOR: What? (Carstairs moves along the length of the ambulance with his back pressed up against it, then he picks off the second hillside soldier. A third comes running over and Carstairs grabs his rifle and wrestles with him. On the other side another Confederate rushes over and aims his gun at the Doctor, Jamie and Zoe. Suddenly Jamie grabs the gun and wrestles with the soldier. Yet another soldier gallops over on a white horse. He dismounts and shoots and Carstairs returns fire. Jamie punches his soldier into unconsciousness and joins the Doctor and Zoe who have just finished struggling the tree off the road. The Doctor looks at Jamie accusingly.) DOCTOR: Where have you been? We've done it without you! (They pile into the ambulance again. Across the hillside sweep three more horsemen, one carrying a fluttering flag. Two dismount and rush down the hill towards Carstairs.) CARSTAIRS: LADY JENNIFER! DRIVE ON! (Carstairs remains behind shooting with the Confederates who are steadily gaining in numbers. The ambulance drives off without him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 35, EXT: ROAD (The ambulance drives along the road for a long way, but eventually it stops by some dense undergrowth and Lady Jennifer gets out. She watches as some soldiers on horseback a short distance away gallop across the hill, then turns to the ambulance and lifts the bonnet looking underneath.) DOCTOR: What's wrong? BUCKINGHAM: 'Fraid we've run out of petrol. DOCTOR: Oh no! BUCKINGHAM: Where is Lieutenant Carstairs? JAMIE: Eh? He held them off while we got away. BUCKINGHAM: Oh dear. (She looks aggrieved.) ZOE: Oh well now what do we do? DOCTOR: There's only one thing for it, we shall have to go on by foot. Come along... (They all abandon the ambulance and walk off towards a wood.) [SCENE_BREAK] 36, INT: WAR ROOM (Smythe and Von-Weich are standing over the translucent game board playing with their toy soldiers. Smythe moves an oblong encapsulated solder along the map face.) SMYTHE: If my troops make a push here, what resistance can you put up? VON-WEICH: Along here we shall have pill boxes, machine-gun nests, landmines. (He adds an appropriate game piece as he speaks.) VON-WEICH: You'll have no chance, but it will be an excellent test of the morale of your humans! Your entire force will be wiped out. SMYTHE: Ah, but I will use my reinforcements to turn your flank. There! (He adds a new piece to the game.) VON-WEICH: Then it will not be a fair battle! SMYTHE: Hm, perhaps not, but it will be an excellent test of your morale! WAR-CHIEF: Those specimens we were discussing. An ambush was laid but only one was captured. SMYTHE: Which one? WAR-CHIEF: A young Lieutenant - one of yours. He could have got away, but he stayed behind to help the others escape. VON-WEICH: These humans are very loyal to one another in stress situations. WAR-CHIEF: One of their finest qualities. He's being brought back here for re-processing! [SCENE_BREAK] 37, INT: BARN (The barn is large, warm and relatively clean, and while there are no animals inside, the old cart wheels, saddles and horse-related paraphernalia that is strewn around show that it is still very much in use. In one corner are a number of piled farm tools, and there is a ladder leading to a second level. Outside crickets chirrup noisily in the balmy night air.) JAMIE: It's alright. This'll do for the night, eh? DOCTOR: Oh yes Jamie, this looks alright. ZOE: I wish we knew where Lieutenant Carstairs was. JAMIE: Aye, we shouldn't have left him you know. DOCTOR: It was the way he wanted it. ZOE: Well now what do we do? We've lost Lieutenant Carstairs, the ambulance has broken down and we're miles from the TARDIS! DOCTOR: We carry on of course, we've got no alternative. JAMIE: Are we still heading for the blank space in that map of yours? DOCTOR: Yes. That is where we'll find the answer, now we'd better get some rest, We'll have to start early in the morning. (There is a warm sparkling sound and a square shape begins to fade into existence.) DOCTOR: Quick, hide! (The green form of a SIDRAT solidifies, then the door pushes it's way outwards with a dry rasping of machinery. Suddenly from within a stream of occupants disembark from the tiny box, all dressed in the uniforms of Union Army.) ZOE: So many of them! That thing must be bigger on the inside than the outside just like the TARDIS! DOCTOR: I must have a look inside... (The Doctor wanders through the dark doorway of the SIDRAT.) JAMIE: Ah, now be careful now Doctor! BUCKINGHAM: What on Earth is it? ZOE: Some kind of space-time machine I think. BUCKINGHAM: But it just appeared from nowhere! (From outside the barn the sound of gunfire is heard. Zoe stands at the doorway of the SIDRAT calling in.) ZOE: Doctor! Doctor! (Lady Jennifer wanders over to the door of the barn to see what the shooting is all about and Jamie calls to her from near the SIDRAT.) ZOE: Oh Doctor come back! (Zoe rushes into the machine after the Doctor.) JAMIE: Oh now Zoe, don't! ...Lady Jennifer! (Jamie runs to pull Lady Jennifer away from the door of the barn just as behind him the door to the SIDRAT scrapes closed.) JAMIE: Lady Jennifer! Keep away from the door! (He sees the closed door of the SIDRAT, and runs towards it as fast as he can, but the sparkling sound has already started up again.) JAMIE: Doctor, nngh..Zoe, no! (He arrives at the machine too late. As the box becomes translucent Jamie finds himself grappling with thin air.) JAMIE: Oh no!

Plan: A: The Doctor; Q: Who and his friends decide to return to the château to obtain a map from Smythe? A: the area; Q: What is divided into different time zones? Summary: The Doctor and his friends realise the area is divided into different time zones and decide to return to the château to obtain a map from Smythe.

Opening scene - The first thing we see are roses, we then see that we are in the Cohen kitchen. Ryan is in there making himself breakfast. Seth comes in. there are bunches of roses everywhere Seth: Ryan I had no idea you felt this way Ryan: hm don�t look at me they were here when I came in (Sandy comes in carrying 2 more bunches of roses) Seth: (to Sandy) hey, you do realise Valentines Day is tomorrow, right Sandy: yeah well we're startin a little earlier this year...your mother deserves an extra long holiday...what with your grandfather in the hospital Seth: an with you burnin the midnight oil as much as you have Sandy: why don�t you guys give me a hand huh, the rest'a the flowers are out in the car Seth: you got more flowers...there�s such a thing as over kill Ryan: man your parents are pretty hardcore about Valentines Day Seth: pff, I jus hope I survive this hateful holiday Ryan: mm, still broken up over the Alex break up Seth: nope that�s emotional childs play (Ryan looks at him) compared to what we're dealin with now Ryan Ryan: hm Seth: Summers back Ryan: (suprised) whoa, what Seth: yeah, an I don�t want it to be (shakes his head) believe me but apparently the universe has other plans for us (they are now outside heading to the car) Ryan: the universe is involved now Seth: why else would I be forced ta go to San Diego with her on the one year anniversary of our sexual...t�te-�-t�te or prodado if you will (Ryan hands him flowers) Ryan: (picks up flowers) yeah as long as it�s not a m�nage-a-trois since you will be going to San Diego with� Zach her boyfriend Seth: yeah, an my friend Ryan: yeah Seth: dude I don�t wanna go to San Diego ok I don�t wanna go anywhere near Summer (they are now back inside) Ryan: no but the uh the universe Seth: yeah exactly Ryan: well it shouldn�t be a problem for ya I mean you an Summer've ben friends for a while now right Seth: y-yes an id be a little more confident about my chances of uh cheating fate an not cheating Ryan: ah-huh Seth: if Summer an I hadn�t made out (they are now back in the kitchen) Ryan: (looks at Seth) you guys made out Seth: no, but our noses grazed...an it was like the most sexually charged nose graze in the history of nose grazes (Ryan looks at him) it�s essentially nose humping is what it is, so what am I gonna do Ryan: I'm gonna tell you what your gonna do (points with the flowers) your gonna go down to San Diego, with your friend Summer an her boyfriend your friend Zach (Seth is listening) an your gonna keep it in your trousers, alright (hits Seth with the flowers) nothing can happen, got it Seth: yeah, I have no heart I hate Valentines Day (Sandy comes back in) Sandy: (laughs) an that�s why you�re my son, what about you Ryan, you have anything lined up for Lindsay Ryan: uh no Lindsay an I are takin a break she�s gettin to know her dad Seth: so for Valentines Day you�re getting Lindsay grampa Ryan: yeah (nods) ...an that�s bad right Seth: dad step in here (points) help big brother out, this guys got mad Valentines Day skills bitch? Sandy: word son, oh I hope I've learned somethin after twenty years with your dear mother Ryan: that�s right it�s her favourite holiday Seth: yeah which means she�s probably gearin up for the cupid routine right now Ryan: mm (Kirsten comes in, looking like hell) Sandy: (smiles) (picks up flowers) here�s my Valentine (Sandy holds the flowers out to Kirsten, Kirsten looks at Sandy with no emotion. she takes the flowers and holds them flower end down in the sink, she turns the garbage disposal on. Sandy looks at the flowers then at Kirsten. Kirsten looks at Sandy then leaves the kitchen. the boys watch quietly. Sandy picks up the flowers which are now just stems and stares at them in disbelief) Seth: looks like I'm not the only one at odds with the universe Theme song - California by Phantom planet Cohen bedroom - Kirsten is standing at the far end of the room with her back to the door, looking like hell. Sandy opens the door and slowly walks in Sandy: I think I know what this is about (Kirsten reacts but Sandy cant see) an I can explain Kirsten: (turns around) you lied to me Sandy Sandy: no I didn�t lie Kirsten: you told me Rebecca was dead Sandy: when I told you that I thought she was Kirsten: I went to your office last night an she was standing there Sandy: ...oh, you saw her (nods) Kirsten: an then I came home, you an I had dinner...an nothing you didn�t say a word Sandy: she�s accused of a very serious crime (Kirsten looks at him) anything I would tell you about her could make you an accessory Kirsten: (upset) don�t try ta get off on a technicality, this is about our marriage, you an I come first Sandy: I did what I thought I had ta do, she�s innocent...an she�s my client Kirsten: she�s not just your client, you were in love with her don�t pretend this isn�t complicated for you Sandy: (loud) your damn right its complicated (Kirsten looks at him) look (shakes his head) there�s nothin goin on between us (Kirsten rolls her eyes, folds her arms and looks away) look please lets not fight, tomorrows Valentines Day (Kirsten walks passed Sandy and out of the room. Sandy stands there helplessly) CUT TO: Lindsay�s house - Lindsay looks through the glass panel in the door and smiles, she opens the door and we see someone pull a single red rose out from behind their back. Ryan holds the rose out and Lindsay raises her eyebrows Ryan: happy day before Valentines Day Lindsay: (takes the rose) ok (Ryan smiles) uh you said that we should take a break (Ryan nods) in relationship speak they call this mixed signals Ryan: I know (frowns) but it didn�t really occur to me at the time that Valentines Day was comin up Lindsay: (smiles) (cutesy) you didn�t wanna be alone on Valentines Day (puts her head on the side) aww you are such a girl Ryan: so what'do you think, can we take some time off from takin time off Lindsay: (thinks) sure (Ryan smiles) if...you do something for me Ryan: (enthusiastic) yeah, name it, anything Lindsay: (moves closer) (bites her lip) apologise to Caleb Ryan: (smile goes) except that... Lindsay: I�m not saying it�s your fault I�m jus gonna be spending time over there while he�s recouperating an if you two are at each others throats it�s gonna be really uncomfortable for everyone Ryan: (unsure) so if I apologise I could take you out...Valentines Day (Lindsay makes a 'maybe' motion) me an Cal...happy to do it (Lindsay smiles) CUT TO: Summers bedroom - Summer puts a bag down on her bed and picks up another one, she walks over to her mirror and sees how it looks. there�s a knock at the door Summer: (calls) Zach (Seth opens the door and walks in, he shakes his head) Summer: hey Cohen you�re early Seth: yeah I jus wanted to um...stop by an check in (shuts the door) before Zach got here Summer: what Seth: an sorta touch base Summer: something you wanna talk about Seth: somethin you wanna talk about Summer: huh Seth: what Summer: you came here Seth: (frowns) yeah no I know I know I-I...jus wanted to make sure that...your dressing warmly an you are so, great Summer: you know what actually there is something I wanna ask you Seth: yeah Summer: yeah (holds up big hoop earrings) (frowns) are these earrings too bling for our meeting, I don�t wanna come off trashy Seth: (distracted) no I think...there fine Summer: hm Seth: listen Summer Summer: hm Seth: I know that the three of us sometimes...working together can get pretty weird...an so I jus I have'ta say that if it ever maybe gets t-ta be...too much for you Summer: (putting the earrings on) hey, broken record, I�m fine (smiles) I jus want us to kick ass on our pitch, I really care about this comic book (Seth is suprised) what is that so hard to believe (Zach knocks and comes in) Zach: (happy) hey you guys ready to hit the road Summer: hey (Seth waves) did you mapquest the meeting Zach: yep I got directions (Summer kisses him on the cheek) got snacks Seth: (softly) I was gonna pack snacks Zach: motors running (leaves) Summer: alright, shot gun (goes to leave) Seth: alight Summer: come on, move it Cohen San Diegos not drivin to us (Summer leaves and Seth looks frustrated) CUT TO: The hospital - Caleb comes out of the elevator in a wheel chair, he�s being pushed by a male nurse. Kirsten and Lindsay are behind them Caleb: (annoyed) for god sake (points) the door is ten feet away must I be humiliated in this chair Kirsten: oh dad just humour us, you can lose the chair when you get home Lindsay: oooh that reminds me (holds up a bag) I uh brought you a little care package (Kirsten smiles) Caleb: that�s very thoughtful of you (looks) madlibs Kirsten: oooh those were my favourite when I was a kid (laughs) Caleb: (to Lindsay) well I hope you�ll be around long enough to teach me how to play (Lindsay and Kirsten smile at each other) Julie's still gallivanting around in Europe which means I�ve got that big old house all to myself (they are now outside) Kirsten: well what about Marissa Caleb: (laughs) Marissa can�t be bothered she�s too busy running around with that tattooed new friend of hers Lindsay: well if you�re looking for company I know that Ryan wanted to stop by for a visit Caleb: oh I think I�ve seen just about enough of him Kirsten: uh Lindsay why don�t you go find the chauffeur an see if he'll pull up Lindsay: sure (walks away) Kirsten: you an Lindsay seem to be making strides Caleb: it�s all I regret, coming into her life so late Kirsten: you know how you can make it up to her (Caleb looks at her) make things right with Ryan Caleb: what is it with my daughters an that kid Kirsten: (almost angry) dad Caleb: fine, fine (Lindsay walks back over to them, followed by the chauffeur) Caleb: Lindsay can uh can three people play madlibs Lindsay: sure, why Caleb: well I thought it might be quite nice ta (stands up) to invite Ryan over for a round (Kirsten smiles) I understand he�s...handy with an adverb (gets in the car) Lindsay: (thrown) uh y-yeah ill-ill call him right now (Kirsten and Lindsay look at each other, suprised) CUT TO: Zach, Summer and Seth in the car - the cardboard cut out of Little Miss Vixen is on the roof, along with other stuff. Zach is driving, Summer is sitting next to him and Seth is in the back by himself Summer: (referring to the music) ugh what, are the Olsens making records now (sticks out her tongue) Zach: I don�t know, you don�t like it Summer: (screws up her face) no Seth: careful man if she doesn�t like your music she'll drive you off the road Summer: hey! Cohen that was so your fault (to Zach) last year he drove us into a ditch on our way to Tijuana Zach: (smiles) you guys did the TJ thing Seth: yeah, actually we did the pitt stop on the way to TJ thing also Summer: god we had to spend this night in this sleazy ass hell hole seriously it was like hepatitis central Seth: ok it wasn�t that bad Summer: hello Cohen the bed was like covered with all these tiny little curly hairs Seth: oh really well I seem ta remember you begging me for a spot on that bed Zach: so who won (Summer and Seth both look at Zach) Summer: huh Zach: who...got the bed at the same time: Seth: (frowns) we worked it out I-I don�t know that there was, yeah Summer: uh...(frowns) I don�t really remember, no CUT TO: Caleb�s mansion - A guy drops Julie�s bags inside the front door, and we see Julie standing next to them Julie: thankyou (calls) I�m home (no response) anyone here (no response) helloooo CUT TO: Caleb sitting outside reading the paper. Julie pulls the paper down so he can see her Julie: (happy) I�m home (kisses Caleb�s cheek) mwaa, how�s the ticker Caleb: (looks at Julie) ticking, thankfully, I wasn�t expecting you today Julie: I cancelled my trip to Nice so I could come home an keep you company (Lindsay comes out of the house carrying drinks, and food for herself and Caleb) Julie: (sees Lindsay) but I see your already doing fine in that department Lindsay: hi Julie (smiles) Julie: Lindsay, hello Caleb: Lindsay�s making us some lunch, tuna sandwiches Lindsay: want one Julie: ill pass, thanks, but its nice to see you two have grown so close since I�ve ben gone Caleb: well Juju, Lindsay an I are in the midst of some madalibs, I�m sure you wanna go freshen up Julie: (smiles) fine, I can take a hint (to Lindsay) well make yourself at home, Caleb�s casa is su casa (walks away) Caleb: ok plural noun CUT TO: Julie knocking on Marissa�s door - Marissa doesn�t answer so Julie lets herself in, the room is dark Julie: Marissa...oh honey its one o'clock in the afternoon Marissa: (in bed) oh, get out mom I�m sleeping Julie: (opens the curtains letting light in) you an your step father are quite the welcome wagon Marissa: oh (sits up slightly) d'you want something Julie: (opens more curtains) jus ta say hello to my daughter (Marissa squints from the light) an to give you this (holds out a box) (smiles) it�s a Chanel clutch, every girl I saw in Paris was carrying one'a these Marissa: (looks at Julie) thanks, you can leave it on the dresser (rolls over) Julie: (puts the box down) Marissa, you know (sits on the bed) when I was in Europe I did some real soul searching Marissa: (covers her head with a pillow) (muffled) I hope you didn�t hurt yourself Julie: (pulls the pillow away) I�m tryin'a talk to you, look I know that you've ben angry with me Marissa: (sits up on her elbows) (sarcastically) what gives you that idea Julie: and you have your reasons I jus think that its time to put those memories behind us, its time we became friends again, lets go to dinner just the two of us Marissa: (laughs) thanks mom, but I�m not that lame (rolls over) (Julie, frustrated stands up and walks over to some of Marissa�s things) Julie: what if I took away your blackberry Marissa: (mumbles) ok (waves it off) Julie: AND your cell phone (picks it up) Marissa: uh (sits up) you cant take away my cell phone Julie: (smiles) oh I think I just did, you gonna throw the bedroom furniture in the pool now Marissa: (stands up) that�s great, you wanna become friends so your blackmailing me, that�s a great plan mom (puts on her robe) ill see you at dinner (holds out her hand for her phone) (Julie gives Marissa her cell phone back, pleased with herself) CUT TO: Sandy driving in his car. we see the car pull up outside a building. Sandy gets out and goes through the doors. the camera pans so we can see that Rebecca is sitting in the passenger seat. the next thing we see is Sandy and Rebecca walking into a nice room {very bed and breakfast'ish} Rebecca: oh, not bad Sandy: well it beats livin in my office (closes the door) Rebecca: your office was fine...it was the running into Kirsten part that was rough, she must be furious Sandy: well there was some poor roses that took the brunt of it this morning Rebecca: I know I�ve complicated your life lately (smiles) an to thankyou I got you a little valentines gift (goes over to her bag) when I saw it I couldn�t resist (hands it to Sandy) Sandy: (looks) (suprised) Ghandi, every time I see this I think'a you (Rebecca laughs) snorin right next ta me (laughs) in that theatre Rebecca: I couldn�t help it, it�s a long movie Sandy: it was our first date, you could'a stayed awake Rebecca: oh it was a lousy first date movie Sandy: (smiles) your right (smile goes) (looks at Rebecca) Rebecca: ok (sighs) I know that look...you wanna talk Sandy: oh here�s the thing I...I don�t know if I�m the best lawyer for ya (Rebecca nods) you know I�m not that well schooled in amnesty cases Rebecca: an it might...put a strain on your marriage Sandy: (nods) that too Rebecca: (nods) ok Sandy: I know you wanna put this thing behind ya, I want it over to Rebecca: but you an I spending day after day pouring over my case, our meetings stretching into the wee hours Sandy: there are days I think Kirsten an me are bullet proof...I don�t wanna test that theory Rebecca: (nods) ah I should've seen this coming...one thing I know about you Sandy Cohen, you always do the right thing Sandy: I�m gonna get you a list of the best lawyers in town...your gonna get through this Rebecca: wish I was gettin through this with you... (Rebecca looks at Sandy, and Sandy looks down) Sandy: well...be careful what you wish for (Sandy goes over to give Rebecca the room key and they touch hands. Sandy looks into Rebecca�s eyes, Rebecca looks into Sandy�s) CUT TO: Cohen backyard - Sandy walks out, and Kirsten is out there sitting at the table with a coffee. Sandy walks over to her Sandy: hey there (Kirsten looks up) how�s your father doin Kirsten: he�s ok Sandy: an you Kirsten: about the same...credit card company called to verify that you�re staying at the Inn at ply Delray? Sandy: (nods) it�s for Rebecca, so she doesn�t have'ta stay at my office Kirsten: I know you�re being put in the middle of this...but if you wanna take her case I�m not gonna stand in your way Sandy: (shakes his head) I�m not gonna be her lawyer Kirsten: don�t, not because'a me Sandy: o'course its because'a you, I know enough not to mess with my wife on Valentines Day Kirsten: (closes her eyes) Sandy Sandy: you didn�t force me to do anything Kirsten: well maybe this is selfish of me but I have'ta say I�m...happy Sandy: good (smiles) there�s one thing you could do for me (sits across from Kirsten) please find a restaurant that still has a reservation open for tomorrow night, I don�t wanna eat take out on Valentines Day Kirsten: (smiles) what're you in the mood for Sandy: oh (thinks) somethin with a view'a ocean...an an over priced pre fix menu Kirsten: sounds like the Arches Sandy: perfect Kirsten: ill call them right now (Kirsten walks over to Sandy and kisses him before walking away) CUT TO: The Bait Shop - Alex is stapling flyers to the wall and Marissa is walking up the stairs towards her, carrying more flyers Marissa: hey this is the last of these so should we make more copies Alex: you know you don�t have'ta hang around here all day an help me Marissa: please, any excuse to avoid my house, my moms ben home for like three hours an already I�m going insane Alex: you know my mom use'ta drive me crazy to an then one day I jus decided I was not gonna let it bother me anymore Marissa: you make it sound so easy Alex: no, every time my mom channels Satan I take a deep breath (Marissa is listening) count to three give her a big smile an say something like, interesting idea mom ill give that some thought Marissa: an that really works Alex: women like that they thrive on confrontation, but if you refuse to engage then there�s not really anything they can do which makes them go even more outta their heads Marissa: wow, sounds like a fun way ta spend an evening...but you know anyone who can make my mom even crazier gets a free dinner...so what'do you say (hopeful) Alex: (smiles/nods) ok...but not tomorrow night I don�t do Valentines Day first dates I think it�s a jinx Marissa: (disappointed) ok Alex: (moves closer to Marissa) but next week (Marissa looks at her) when we don�t have hallmark breathing down our necks...we'll go on a date...cool Marissa: cool (Alex walks away and Marissa looks disappointed) CUT TO: The wild storm office - Seth, Summer and Zach are sitting in the waiting room Zach: ok, so lets go over this again (sits) ill do the introduction Seth you do the character arcs Seth: Zach...you jus need'a relax a little bit man, I promise you I have this Summer: (looking in a compact mirror) uh you know what my teeth are all plaque'y, I am gonna go do a last minute floss (walks away) Zach: (smiles) god she is so OCD man back packing with her is gonna be a nightmare Seth: (suprised) you guys are going back packing Zach: yeah my sisters getting married in Tuscany, Summers gonna be my date Seth: (raises eyebrows) Tuscany like Italy Zach: yeah my family�s renting a villa but we're jus gonna stay for the wedding (Seth has his mouth open, shocked) an then we're gonna go off on our own, you know back pack through Chinquitara? maybe a weekend in Venice Seth: (stunned) wow that doesn�t sound...romantic at all (a woman comes in) W: hey are you guys here to pitch ta Mr. Burnstein Zach: (stands) yes we are W: he can�t see you till tomorrow, he got delayed coming back from Japan Zach: what W: (points) there gonna get you rooms in town an ill re schedule you for first thing tomorrow ok (answers phone) wild storm Zach: well at least we'll have an extra night to work on the pitch huh Seth Seth: (distracted) yeah...so jus Chinquitara an Venice or maybe like Florence to or somethin CUT TO: Caleb�s mansion - Lindsay is leading Ryan to see Caleb Lindsay: you are dreading this aren�t you Ryan: pretty much...I�m sorry can you blame me Lindsay: uh (touches Ryan�s shoulder) look it�s like the dentist, think of how much better you'll feel when it�s over (smiles) go on ill wait here (we then see Caleb playing pool in his office. Ryan walks in) Ryan: hey Mr. Nichol (Caleb looks at him) came by to say hello Caleb: call me Caleb (sinks a ball) Ryan: so you play pool Caleb: no, my first time Ryan: look I came by to apologise (Caleb sinks another ball then looks at Ryan) Ryan: I�m sorry...if I had anything ta do with your heart attack Caleb: (sharpening the stick) thankyou Ryan...I realise it wasn�t easy for you to string so many words together Ryan: excuse me Caleb: I�m merely noting, how rarely I hear you talk (hits a ball) Ryan: guess I don�t have that much ta say to you (goes to leave) Caleb: (loud) well how bout thankyou (Ryan looks at him) for the fine education your getting, the roof over your head, everything else I�ve done Ryan: like insulting me, treating me like a criminal Caleb: (laughs) but you are a criminal (walks closer) my do gooder son in law dragged you out of jail an installed you in his pool house, remember Ryan: you know Mr. Nichol I don�t know why I tried to talk to you...it�s just a waste'a time (Ryan leaves and Caleb goes back to playing pool. we see Ryan come out of the room and back to where Lindsay is) Lindsay: (stands) so...how'd it go Ryan: there�s always next Valentines Day (Ryan leaves and Lindsay touches his arm as he walks passed. she looks disappointed) CUT TO: San Diego - Zach, Summer and Seth walk into their accommodation Seth: oooh one bed huh, looks like Zach an I are gettin cosy tonight Zach: (points) Cohen we got adjoining rooms man your in here Seth: ...we do (Zach nods) really (looks into his room) oh well then ok, jus one second though if I�m in here now that means that (points) (swallows) then what y-y-you guys would be in here Zach: yeah (to Summer) is that ok Summer: well sure yeah I mean (looks at Seth) well it makes sense (Zach nods) Seth: yeah that�s fine that�s great (raises eyebrows) that�s actually perfect (Summer looks uncomfortable) um so then (swallows) well I take it you two will be in here uh in there (points to the bed) actually uh uh together an I will be (pounds the wall) just on the other side of this-this sou-soundproof wall Summer: (looks at Seth) hey Seth: yeah Summer: you ok Seth: yeah no I�m fine I�m just having an allergic (swallows) reaction ta...the universe (Summer nods) so (puts both thumbs up) ok (goes into his room) (Summer and Zach look at each other. Zach raises his eyebrows. Summer laughs and makes a 'coo coo' motion) [SCENE_BREAK] CUT TO: The pier at night - Sandy is walking with a coffee in his hand. we can�t see him yet, but he�s with Max Sandy: here you go, I got you coffee Max: oh thanks Sandy but I-I�ve given up on that stuff Sandy: (suprised) I never thought id see the day (sits on the bench) you use'ta average a pot an hour as I recall Max: (laughs) (sits with Sandy) y-yeah that�s probably why I never slept...that and you keeping me up all hours bending my ear with your right winged conspiracies Sandy: who else was gonna listen'a me Max: see I assumed that you were prepping me for father in-law duty an...then everything changed (Sandy and Max look at each other for a second) Sandy: (shakes his head) I feel like I�m jumpin ship here Max Max: no-no-no-no your not, I mean your-your conscience Sanford I mean...well it�s always worked in over drive Sandy: no, leavin you an Rebecca jus when we found her Max: (sighs) the-the rest 'll work itself out (Sandy drinks the coffee) Sandy: if you�re not drinkin coffee what're ya drinkin Max: green tea Sandy: oh Max: supposedly it�s a...toxifier an...who knows maybe if I started it earlier I uh (looks at Sandy) I would'a held up better Max: w- ill go get you some, there�s a cafe right down the pier, ill be back in a sec Max: (smiles) ok thanks Sandy (Sandy walks away and Max sits there looking worried) CUT TO: San Diego - we see a shot of the TV with some kind of scary movie on it. then we see Summer and Zach on their bed with Seth sitting in between them. Summer and Zach do not look impressed. Seth is enjoying the movie Seth: ooooh ooooh Zach: (gets up) you know what we should turn in early, we've got the pitch at the crack'a dawn (turns off the TV) Seth: (points) why don�t we watch another movie, I think Vanhelsing is on pay-per-view, I like monsters don�t know about the rest'a you Zach: I�m pretty tired Summer: me too Seth: well then why don�t we go ta the gift shop an see (Summer grabs his hand) maybe if they have cards cause then-then we could play gin (Summer pulls him off the bed) or I could do some slight of hand for you guys Summer: ok, Cohen go - to bed (opens his door) Seth: yes ok (nods) but listen, I�m gonna be in here if you guys need me, or anything Summer: (nods) ok (Zach nods) Seth: (sad) ok (goes through the door) (Zach starts getting ready for bed and Summer walks towards the bed) Seth: (pokes his head out) pssst maybe we should invent a secret knock just incase for whatever Summer: (turns around) uh-hm (walks toward Seth) goodnight Cohen (pushes Seth into his room and shuts the door) (we hear a kock...knock knock knock...knock) Seth: (calls) that�s the knock we use CUT TO: The pier at night - Sandy is walking back over to Max with his drink Sandy: (yells) hey Max they-they didn�t have any green tea but I-I got ya some jasmine y-you drink jasmine (we see Max sitting on the bench still, from the back. Sandy stops when he sees him and looks worried) Sandy: hey Max (the camera zooms in to show Max with his head slightly to the side, his eyes are closed and he�s not moving. Sandy is standing in front of him. Sandy sits down next to him and takes his pulse. Sandy stares at Max for a little while then we see them from a distance) CUT TO: The beach the next morning - Sandy and Rebecca are there together, the sun is still rising. Rebecca is upset and Sandy moves closer and takes her hand in his. their heads are very close. Rebecca looks at Sandy, then Sandy takes her in his arms. Rebecca rests her head on Sandy�s shoulder, and Sandy leans his on the back of her head. Rebecca is crying. we then see them from a distance CUT TO: The wild storm office - the first thing we see is a foot tapping rapidly, then we see a hand tapping on the arm of the chair. we see Summer and Zach sitting opposite so we know that Seth is the one fidgeting. Summer and Zach are watching him, stunned. we see Seth still tapping, drinking a coffee. Seth looks like he didn�t sleep at all the night before, he has messy hair and reddish eyes and hes drinking coffee Seth: there�s no way there�s three shots of espresso in that Zach: you look kinda spent Seth Summer: (worried) did you sleep at all Seth: yep (to the tune of his tapping) got a solid - - - fifteen - - - minutes - - - they say - - - that�s all - - - ya need (Summer looks at Zach, worried. Zach looks down) Seth: what about you guys, probably didn�t sleep too well huh (grins) (laughs freakily) Summer: I slept fine actually (Burnstein comes in) Larry: hi guys (Seth jumps up quickly) Larry Burnstein come on in Seth: ok (hyper) alright he�s ready show time come on come on come on (motions) (Summer and Zach gather together their things - we are now inside the meeting. Larry is standing at the front pouring himself a coffee) Larry: well guys I read the treatments and I think it�s interesting (Seth, Summer and Zach sit down at the table) Seth: good, great, great to hear it, an uh on behalf of all of us, the three of us sitting three across in your office (leans back in his chair) uh uh uh thankyou, an we like your jacket Larry: uh...your welcome an thankyou (Seth makes an 'a ok' motion to Summer an Zach) Larry: but putting pretty people by the beach isn�t enough for me even if they have powers so let�s talk about characters Seth: great (puts his finger up) kay first of all uh-hh (stands) what can I tell ya, we got Kid Chino with his fists of fury ok he�s a kid from the wrong side'a the tracks...think karate kid now take away the karat'ay (Larry looks at him) now let that marinate, then we got Cosmo Girl, shes got a passion for fashion an a magic flask (points) ta boot (Larry nods) but what I wanna do right now actually is take ya (sits back down) ta the white hot centre of our comic ok the core relationship of really what I think we're doin here (Summer and Zach both look at him) now what I�m talkin about here is passion (raises eyebrows) but (puts up a finger) real passion not the kinda passion you buy for a dollar ninety nine at the grocery store with a can'a soup Summer: Cohen, what'does that even mean (Zach looks confused) Seth: I have no idea Larry: so you�re saying there�s a love story Seth: yeah Zach: no Summer: oh no-no-no nooooo no no definitely not (shakes her head) Seth: yeah there is (points) now maybe you cant see it (points to Summer) an maybe you cant but let me tell you somethin I promise you this (Summer glares at him) its there (Larry looks interested) amongst the demon water polo players that arise from the toxic pacific an attack atomic county...its a love story for our time (Summer and Zach aren�t impressed) for all time mm-hmm Larry: (interested) between who Summer: yeah, Cohen, between who (raises eyebrows) (Seth rolls his chair to sit between Summer and Zach) Seth: why between the Ironist an Little Miss Vixen Summer: what (Seth nods freakishly) (Seth rolls back to where he was) Larry: the Ironist an Little Miss Vixen Seth: the Ironist (stands) who's quick quips an pop culture laden bromides? can foul even the most insidious of villains (takes off his jacket) an Ltle Miss Vixen (points to the cut out) who�s so cute an so sweet in her black leather, her amex card can decapitate a demon up to a hundred yards away especially when she senses her true love the Ironist, is in danger (Zach doesn�t look happy, Summer looks down) Larry: well this is an...interesting approach (looks at his watch) Zach: yes, but not one we've discussed Summer: no there is no love story Seth: yeah not yet there isn�t ok (to Summer) stop, here�s the thing an the thing is this sir if the Ironist...an Little Miss Vixen...(looks at Summer) could put their differences aside (Summer bites her nails) for just one issue an stop their bickering an stop their bantering even though the readers might find it adorable...I really feel like they would realise how much more evil that they could vanquish together Zach: (not happy) no Cohen they can�t (Seth cracks his knuckles) Summer: um look we are really sorry sir w- this is not the comic that we wanted'ta pitch to you (Seth pours himself more coffee from Larry�s flask. Summer and Zach both look disappointed in Seth) Larry: yes uh-hm well it has some promise but you three are clearly not ready to forge a partnership Zach: (nods) clearly Larry: so...get back to me...(stands) after high school (Larry leaves the room and Summer, Zach and Seth don�t say anything. Seth however looks worse then he did before) CUT TO: Cohen kitchen - It is completely deserted and quiet. Sandy walks in from the right and Kirsten comes in shortly after Sandy: the coroner said he-he guessed it was a stroke (Kirsten looks at Sandy, worried) he didn�t suffer...we can be grateful for that Kirsten: (sad) I�m so sorry Sandy: yeah I know Kirsten: an Rebecca Sandy: well she�s doin her best...I�m sorry I (shakes his head) I didn�t call till late an stayed out till this morning Kirsten: I understand Sandy: I...I ill wanna go out tonight Kirsten: I- Sandy its just Valentines Day, we can celebrate another time Sandy: no I-I-I I think we need this you know I-m not use'ta things bein soooo (shakes his head) like they are right now you know I...I don�t like it Kirsten: me neither Sandy: (nods) tell ya what...I�m gonna go take a power nap...an uh when I wake up I wanna see you dolled up in your Valentines finest (smiles) (Kirsten smiles, Sandy leaves the kitchen watches him, clearly worried) CUT TO: Caleb�s mansion - Ryan is standing outside the front door and Lindsay opens it Lindsay: hey, I thought we agreed we weren�t doing the Valentines thing Ryan: I know jus give me one more chance with him, it'll only take a few hours (Lindsay motions for Ryan to go in) Caleb: oh great, your back (Lindsay shuts the door) Ryan: can I talk to you for a second, in your study (Lindsay watches them, worried - the next thing we see is Ryan walking back into the study. Caleb follows) Ryan: look id say we need to talk but clearly that doesn�t work for us Caleb: so what'do you wanna do, take a swing at me, you might as well I�m the only person in town ya haven�t punched Ryan: ill make you a bet...we play pool (Caleb listens) if you win I stay outta your way, but if I win you have to accept me as Lindsay�s boyfriend Caleb: (laughs) what is this the colour of money, it�s absurd Ryan: you got a better idea Caleb: (thinks) fine best of seven Ryan: rack em (throws his jacket) CUT TO: A restaurant - Julie and Marissa are sitting opposite each other at a table Julie: well, what would you like ta talk about, clothes, school Marissa: why don�t you cut to the chase, tell me what this is really about Julie: its not about anything, except that I�m very happy to be here with you (Marissa looks at her) you know now that your fathers gone an Caitlyn�s in boarding school its like we're all that�s left of the family an it jus makes sense (shrugs) for us ta lean on each other Marissa: you act like your all alone, I mean (shrugs) you have Caleb Julie: you know Marissa I think your old enough now that I can be honest with you about this (Marissa looks at her) I worry about Caleb an me, an that we might not make it Marissa: come on mom if you two can�t make it no one can Julie: point is whatever happens between Caleb an me ill survive...what I could never handle is losing you Marissa: (thrown) well thanks...I-I almost believe you Julie: oh honey (takes Marissa�s hand) you an me we need to play our cards right Marisa: (scoffs, realising) what'do you mean our cards Julie: jus that we spend our time with Caleb wisely, I�ve already launched the magazine that�s a good start, but id like to control a little more of the company just incase (Marissa cant believe what she�s hearing) if we can play happy family for just a few more months I can figure out my next move Marissa: oh my god mom you are unbelievable Julie: what, do you want your inheritance going to little miss Lindsay because that is where this is headed unless you put in some serious face time with your step father Marissa: (thinks) that�s an interesting idea mom, ill think about (Julie is thrown) now why don�t you tell me about your trip CUT TO: San Diego - Seth is sitting on his bed, stunned. Summer knocks and walks in. she sits next to him on the bed Summer: ok...Cohen, you wanna explain that meltdown before (Seth smiles, then stops) Summer: look (Seth looks at her) if there�s something you wanna say to me now�s your chance (Seth looks at her, then sees Zach walk passed in the other room carrying the cut out Little Miss Vixen) Seth: (swallows) you know I jus think I�m gonna lay off the caffeine forever (nods) Summer: fine, don�t say I didn�t ask (Zach comes in) Zach: you ready to hit the road Seth: yeah you know actually I think I�m jus gonna uh take the bus Summer: the bus Zach: fine with me...you know actually if we're not gonna take Cohen home we could stay here (points) we have the room an its Valentines Day Seth: yeah an since you guys are goin to uh Italy you should start gettin use'ta the hotel life (Summer looks at Seth) ok headed to the bus depot (stands) happy Valentines Day (Seth leaves and Zach smiles at Summer, Summer sighs and half smiles at Zach) CUT TO: Cohen bedroom - Sandy is getting ready for dinner and his phone rings Sandy: hello (Rebecca is on the phone in her room at the inn) Rebecca: oh I expected to get your voicemail, I thought you'd be out with your wife Sandy: no we got a late reservation, we're-we're just on our way out Rebecca: oh (nods) I wont keep you I um...I just uh...I didn�t wanna disappear again without saying goodbye Sandy: (frowns) what're you talkin about Rebecca: I�m leaving an don�t try ta talk me out of it, i mean lets be realistic my chances of getting off are slim Sandy: well isn�t it worth trying Rebecca: ...not if I don�t have my father anymore Sandy: (sad) ...so when are ya leavin Rebecca: tonight...guess there�s uh no chance of you swingin over here, say goodbye in person Sandy: oh I don�t think so (Kirsten comes in dressed in a beautiful dress, she sees Sandy on the phone. Sandy sees her) Sandy: (sighs) let me get back to ya Rebecca: ok (Sandy hangs up) Kirsten: ...Rebecca Sandy: yeah she�s uh...she�s leavin tonight...going back ta...god knows where Kirsten: (nods) she wants ta say goodbye Sandy: yeah (nods) Kirsten: (looks at Sandy) ...well if you wanna go I-I�m not gonna try an stop you (Sandy looks at Kirsten then looks away, you can tell he�s seriously considering it. he walks closer to her) Sandy: ill be right back (Sandy leaves and Kirsten looks devastated) CUT TO: The bus - Seth is the only one on there. he�s sitting close to the back looking out the window. he has his cell phone in his hand and he looks down at it CUT TO: San Diego hotel - Summer and Zach are sitting on the bed together, there are plates of half eaten food on the table, so it appears they had a romantic dinner earlier Zach: I think we've actually salvaged Valentines Day (looks at Summer) Summer: hm (nods) even though Cohen did his best to destroy it Zach: I don�t think he�s ever gonna get over you...I�ve kinda accepted it? Summer: look Zach those are his issues not mine Zach: good, cause all I really care about is...that you an I are ok Summer: look at us, we're in a hotel room (frowns) by ourselves on Valentines Day, I think we're ok (smiles) Zach: good (smiles) Summer: I know we weren�t even spose'ta be here its jus like fate handed us this dream date...so...why don�t we jus make the most of it (smiles) Zach: ...um Summer before we do anything I need to tell you something Summer: mm-hmm (Summers phone rings. she picks it up and looks at whose calling) Zach: who is it Summer: (frowns) it doesn�t matter (puts the phone down) CUT TO: The bus - Seth has his phone to his ear and an automatic message plays Message: Summer: hey its Summer obviously, you should know that since you called me I guess I cant get to the phone or I am screening because you creep me out (Seth looks at the phone) leave a message (Seth sadly shuts the phone with his chin and lays his head back on the chair) CUT TO: Caleb�s mansion - Caleb and Ryan are still playing pool in his office. Caleb shoots and the ball doesn�t go in Caleb: your shot (Ryan picks up the chalk to sharpen his stick) Ryan: you don�t seem worried Caleb: should I be Ryan: (confident) you�re about to lose Caleb: I don�t think so, you�re a hot head Ryan, pool takes a steady hand Ryan: (getting ready) oh I�ve got a steady hand Caleb: why do you always find yourself in trouble...setting fires, impregnating teenage girls Ryan: (sets up the shot) I know what your tryin'a do an it�s not gonna work (Ryan shoots and sinks the white ball) Caleb: come on Ryan, all very chivalrous this challenging me to a duel for Lindsay's affection but you know ultimately...she�s gonna side with me...I�m her father (sets up the shot) Ryan: who abandoned her for sixteen years Caleb: (looks at Ryan) that's all in the past (shoots and misses) Ryan: I don�t think Lindsay sees it that way (Ryan walks in front of Caleb and sets up his shot. he hits his ball into the pocket and looks at Caleb. Caleb doesn�t look phased) Ryan: corner (points) (Caleb watches. Ryan looks at the black ball then softly shoots. it goes into the pocket and Ryan wins! Ryan looks at Caleb, hopeful) Caleb: well this may be the way you settle things where you come from, a game of pool maybe a bar stool over someone�s head (Ryan picks up his jacket) but in real life it takes more then that (Ryan glares at Caleb then goes to the door) Ryan: (calls) hey sorry we're done Lindsay: (smiles/walks in) good I was starting to worry about you guys (laughs) Caleb: well enjoy your date, it�s on me Lindsay: thanks (to Ryan) so uh what'do you wanna do, maybe go to Balboa island milkshakes an bumper cars Ryan: (looks at Lindsay) uh you know what why don�t you guys stay here tonight (Caleb looks at Ryan, suspiciously) Lindsay: are you sure its Valentines Day Ryan: we'll go tomorrow night (kisses Lindsay) but uh have fun maybe rent a movie or somethin uh I hear the colour'a money is pretty good (smiles at Caleb) (Caleb nods) CUT TO: Cohen kitchen - Kirsten is in there by herself, she dials a number Guy: good evening the Arches how can I help you Kirsten: hi it�s Kirsten Cohen I�d like to cancel a reservation Guy: an what time was your reservation CUT TO: The room at the inn - Sandy is sitting on couch and Rebecca is standing in front of him Rebecca: so you bailed on your wife on Valentines Day (Sandy shakes his head) that doesn�t seem like a Sandy Cohen move (sits) Sandy: it isn�t...I wanted to say good bye to ya...but now I gotta go (stands) (looks at his watch) ooh I think we've already missed dinner Rebecca: (smiles) soooo stay here Sandy: ...I�ve ben without ya for twenty years...an still...I�m gonna miss ya...all over again Rebecca: Sandy I...I wish it'd never happened (stands) I wish I could take it all back that night I wish id never run Sandy: (softly) me too (Rebecca half smiles and Sandy leans forward and kisses her {ass} Rebecca pulls away after a while. they look into each others eyes and then Sandy walks to the door) Sandy: I gotta go...but you should stay (Rebecca watches Sandy leave) CUT TO: The diner - Seth is sitting at a booth by himself and Ryan comes in Seth: hey...I'm sorry I...called you away from your hot date Ryan: (sits) I�m jus sorry ta hear your uh Valentines Day went so terrible Seth: terrible uh no no try catastrophic (Ryan nods) I blew the comic book an I jus completely (closes his eyes) humiliated myself in front'a Summer...after the way I acted today Ryan I don�t even think id get back together with me Ryan: probably for the best...I mean with Zach an all Seth: hey you know what truth is he deserves her (Ryan looks at him) an clearly he�s got the universe on his side so CUT TO: The Bait shop - Marissa comes in and Alex is there by herself. Alex is suprised to see her Alex: hey I didn�t know you were coming by Marissa: neither did I-I guess I�m jus sort of here Alex: are you ok Marissa: yeah, yeah I mean I think I�m ok I just had a terrible dinner with my mom Alex: my technique work (raises eyebrows) Marissa: guess so...but also it was knowing I could (sits next to Alex) come here an see you (Alex looks at her) not that I wanna put any pressure on you or anything (softly) its jus that�s how I feel...an I had'ta say it Alex: (looks at Marissa) are you in the mood for the beach Marissa: now Alex: yeah (smiles) itsss It's almost time Marissa: time for what Alex: for the tide to change, its a little ritual I have for whenever something really major...is about to change in my life Marissa: I thought you said no dating on Valentines Day Alex: (thinks) screw it (stands) come on, I�m a huge fan of spontaneous first dates (holds her hand out to Marissa) Marissa: (smiles) I am too (takes Alex's hand) (they walk out together) CUT TO: Cohen bedroom - Kirsten is sitting alone at the table with her hands clasped together near her mouth, she looks over and sees Sandy slowly walk toward her. Kirsten slowly stands and walks towards Sandy, instead she shuts the door in Sandy�s face. Sandy closes his eyes and looks down CUT TO: The pier - Ryan and Seth are walking together. there are couples all around them Seth: no look I�m not sayin it�s not bad uh hanging out with my grandfather ranks very low (Ryan nods)...on the valentines scale I jus you know I think think mines worse I win Ryan: your right yours is worse Seth: look at all these people (Ryan looks back) these normal...non traumatised people...in relationships...in love...d'you think we'll ever have that Ryan: (looks at Seth) no Seth: (nods) yeah I�m with you FADE TO: The beacb - we see Alex and Marissa sitting side by side on the beach in front of the waves. they are both smiling Alex: (looks at Marissa) tide jus turned (smiles) (Marissa looks at Alex and smiles, Alex looks into Marissa eyes then leans forward and kisses her. Marissa closes her eyes, kissing back. we then see them from behind and Marissa puts her arm around Alex�s back, they are still kissing intensely) - Fade out

Plan: A: Valentine's Day gifts; Q: What does Sandy give Kirsten to make up for keeping Rebecca's return a secret? A: their comic book idea; Q: What do Zach, Summer and Seth pitch in San Diego? A: the trip; Q: What is Seth determined to use to get Summer back? A: Julie returns; Q: Who decides to reconnect with Marissa? A: Julie; Q: Who has decided to reconnect with Marissa? A: her European vacation; Q: Where did Julie go on vacation? A: Ryan; Q: Who wants to spend Valentine's Day with Lindsay? A: Caleb; Q: Who does Lindsay have a loyalty to? Summary: Sandy tries to make up for keeping Rebecca's return a secret from Kirsten by showering her with Valentine's Day gifts. Zach, Summer and Seth head to San Diego to pitch their comic book idea, and Seth is determined to use the trip to get Summer back. Julie returns from her European vacation and has decided to reconnect with Marissa. Meanwhile, Ryan wants to spend Valentine's Day with Lindsay, but her loyalty to Caleb gets in the way.

"The Knight on the Grid" [SCENE_BREAK] TEASER (Booth is at the crime scene. A car pulls up and Cam gets out and walks towards Booth) BOOTH: Traffic? CAM: Dr. Brennan looked a little hurt when I told her you asked me to come out here instead of her. BOOTH: No, Bones's feelings - they don't get hurt. She's not like you. CAM: Like me? BOOTH: Yeah. A girl. CAM: Yeah. The word you're looking for would be "woman" - who, incidentally, makes more money than you. BOOTH: Touchy. CAM: What can I say? I'm just a girl with feelings. BOOTH: Alright listen, construction crew they found a body this afternoon. The keyword is body, as in still meaty. (Cam removes the plastic from the body.) BOOTH: oh... CAM: Male, middle-aged. BOOTH: Bones - she usually, uh, kneels next to the remains. CAM: These are designer pants and my bodies are always so much - gushier - than Dr. Brennan's. BOOTH: Just saying... (Cam partially bends down to look at the remains) CAM: Looks like a stab wound to the middle of the chest. Naked, wrapped in plastic, bite marks to the face and extremities. Looks like rats. BOOTH: Rats? CAM: Looks like he might have been knee-capped. Mob thing, maybe? (Cam takes something from the body.) BOOTH: What's that? CAM: Some kind of gemstone. (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Autopsy Bay) ZACK: This blow to the sternum would have been fatal, dealt by a double edged blade BRENNAN: So we know our killer is strong. CAM: Based on the rate of decomp, I'd say he's been dead 3 days. Probably dumped Friday night. HODGINS: (entering) Gemstone is jade, narrowing down the exact type now. CAM: (handing Hodgins a vile) Grit from the wounds. HODGINS: Hey, grit to you - open book to me. ZACK: The injuries to the knees aren't from baseball bats or bullets. BRENNAN: Zack is right, the victims patella's were removed surgically. ZACK: (turns around with his arms raised) King of the lab. (Hodgins is speechless, and Brennan looks at them like they're crazy.) (Cut To: Brennan's Apartment. Brennan enters her apartment, dumps her bag on the ground and let out a sigh. She is going through the mail, and places it on the counter when someone knocks her door. She walks over and opens it.) AMY: Dr. Brennan? BRENNAN: Yes... AMY: Amy Hollister. I'm your brother's girlfriend. BRENNAN: Of course, please come in. AMY: Thanks. (Amy steps in.) BRENNAN: Would you like something to drink? AMY: No, I'm sorry...I..I..I, I don't have a lot of time. Do you know where Russ is? BRENNAN: Amy, I haven't seen Russ in months. AMY: Um, I have 2 little girls, you know and um, the youngest one - that's Haley - she's not doing too good, Cystic Fibrosis. BRENNAN: Russ mentioned she had lung problems. AMY: (tearing up) Well, her breathing's real bad. Now her liver..she keeps asking for Russ. BRENNAN: Um, I'm going to give you...(hesitates when she sees an envelope with a red spot) the phone number of Dr. Leo Goetz. He's the premier authority on Cystic Fibrosis in the Country. AMY: I can't afford that. BRENNAN: (looks at envelope) Oh no, Amy. Um, Leo and I are friends. He'd do it for me as a favor, no charge. I'm going to give him a call, tell him to expect you. AMY: I don't know what to say, Thank you. BRENNAN: And as for Russ, I think you're better off talking to dad. AMY: I understand. Um, thank you for your time. (Brennan closes the door and walks over to her counter, where she left the mail. She opens the envelope with the growing red spot. She carefully opens it and finds two knee caps, wrapped up in paper.) BRENNAN: The knees. (Opening Theme) ACT I (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Autopsy Bay.) ANGELA: Somebody sent you human kneecaps in the mail? That is like..blech. CAM: Zack says they match our victim. BOOTH: Look, we're dusting the envelope for prints. We'll send someone from the DC area. BRENNAN: These patella's are unusually worn. BOOTH: Worn from what? BRENNAN: It's hard to say definitively but I'd say the man did a lot of kneeling. ANGELA: (talking about the piece of paper) Wait a minute, I've seen that before. That symbol looks familiar, like it's from some kind off seal... BOOTH: Okay, look Bones, you are going to you know stay with a friend, check into a hotel right? ANGELA: She can stay with me. BOOTH: Great. BRENNAN: Thank you. No. Why? CAM: Mr. Kneecaps has your home address? BRENNAN: I can't freak out every time someone Google's me. BOOTH: Cam, she goes nowhere alone. BRENNAN: Cam, don't listen to him. BOOTH: Cam, Who are you more afraid of, me or her? BRENNAN: Booth! CAM: Whoa! So this is what it's like to be a kindergarten teacher. (Sweets appears in the doorway, laughing.) SWEETS: Fascinating interpersonal interaction. BRENNAN: (surprised) Dr. Sweets! SWEETS: I, uh - (sees Cam working on the dead body and pauses) oh my, that is - gross. BOOTH: Yeah, it's an autopsy room, It's no place for therapists. What do ya want? SWEETS: Ah, you and Dr. Brennan missed our session this morning? BOOTH: Maybe because somebody sent body parts to Bones, in the mail. SWEETS: (looking at an organ being pulled from the dead body) Oh my god! ZACK: I've identified the murder weapon. BRENNAN: Oh, that was quick. ZACK: (walks in with a knife) Tapered, inch and a half, with both a hilt and a quillion. The cannelure is also quite distinctive. BOOTH: That's the Gormogon knife. SWEETS: The serial killer? ANGELA: Which is why the symbol looks so familiar, I've seen it on a tapestry - in the vault. (Cut to: Jeffersonian Basement. They team is going to check to see if anything in the vault may match up.) SWEETS: So this is the famous bank vault where the violinist was murdered and eaten? BRENNAN: We transported everything from the bank here, to the Jeffersonian. BOOTH: So if you touch anything, Sweets, you put it back exactly the way it was. SWEETS: Oh, awesome! The Widow's Son sculpture? BRENNAN: It's a complete silver skeleton which is replaced, piece by piece, with bones from murder victims. ANGELA: And all of the relics, including that skeleton, can be traced to the Gormogons. HODGINS: Seventeenth century Anti-Masonic group, suppose to be extinct. SWEETS: How many victims? BRENNAN: Well, this statue contains the bones of at least five unidentified victims plus the violinist. BOOTH: That - is the actual violinist's pinkie. SWEETS: Well, obviously Gormogon sent you his kneecaps to continue his work. BRENNAN: (defiantly) We are not fitting those kneecaps onto this skeleton. SWEETS: Mark my words, you'll find something special about those kneecaps. ANGELA: Okay, this tapestry here? Is 'off' somehow. SWEETS: Off? BOOTH: Don't look at me, my idea of art is a half naked woman on the side of a van. SWEETS: That's interesting. BOOTH: No, it's not interesting, Sweets, 'cause it was a joke. (Cut to: Jeffersonian Hallway. Brennan and Booth are walking.) BOOTH: Okay, what's the matter? BRENNAN: Russ's girlfriend, Amy, came to see me. Her daughter is sick, she's looking for Russ so I told her my dad might know where he is. BOOTH: Your brother is a wanted fugitive as a material witness in your dad's murder trial. BRENNAN: Amy knows that. BOOTH: Well, he's not gonna come back just because your niece has a cough. BRENNAN: Well, technically, she's not my niece and it's not a cough, it's Cystic Fibrosis. ZACK: Dr. Brennan, missing persons send over dental records from middle-aged men. I checked them against the victim. BOOTH: Get a hit? ZACK: Father Douglas Cooper. Vicar General to the archbishop of DC. BOOTH: Okay. Sweets was right about the kneecaps. This guy would have been a world class kneeler. BRENNAN: Well, saying someone has is a wiz at psychology is like saying they're good at mind reading. It's a series of lucky guesses. BOOTH: Well, I'm bringing Sweets in on the case. ZACK: You make fun of him all the time... BOOTH: Only when he messes with our heads. ZACK: He was right about the knees. BRENNAN: Zack, shouldn't you be figuring out what was used to excise the kneecaps? ZACK: Yes, Dr. Brennan. (Zack walks away as Booth starts to laugh) BRENNAN: What? BOOTH: (still laughing) You just dismissed Zack. BRENNAN: No I didn't. BOOTH: Well, don't get me wrong, I liked it. (Cut to: FBI - Conference Room.) BOOTH: Thank you for coming in, Archbishop Wallace. ARCHBISHOP WALLACE: You found my Vicar General? BOOTH: Yes, Your Holiness ARCHBISHOP WALLACE: Monsignor or Steve. So how did Doug die? BRENNAN: Well, Steve- BOOTH: Bones! BRENNAN: He said to call him Steve BOOTH: Monsignor. BRENNAN: Father Cooper was stabbed to death - as a serious of cannibalistic murders. ARCHBISHOP WALLACE: A serious of cannibalistic murders? BRENNAN: We'll still trying to find out what they had in common. ARCHBISHOP WALLACE: Doug Cooper was a quiet man, he'd been on sabbatical for the past six months, he was writing a book. BRENNAN: About? ARCHBISHOP WALLACE: The history of the early Christianity. It's ties to Paganism. Esoteric stuff. (he breathes in) Somebody ate Doug? BOOTH: Just a part of him. ARCHBISHOP WALLACE: A lovely decent man. Humble, dedicated to serving others - unfortunate choice of words, given that someone ate him. BOOTH & BRENNAN: (in unison) Just a part of him. ARCHBISHOP WALLACE: There's too much evil in the world. God forgive me but...sometimes I wonder if I'm little more than a band aid. BOOTH: Amen, Monsignor. Amen. BRENNAN: Thanks, Steve. (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform) HODGINS: Angela identified the red haired figure on the tapestry. ANGELA: Barabbas. A murderer and rapist who was condemned to death in New Testament Jerusalem. HODGINS: The Gormogon's believed that the descendants of Barabbas started the first secret society. ANGELA: To the Gormogons, Barabbas is an enduring symbol of all that is backwards, upside down or inside out. CAM: So if you find this figure on a Gormogon relic... ANGELA: It's a sign to interpret it backwards or in a mirror or upside down. ZACK: The numbers on the tapestry are simple alpha numeric code. Each number corresponds with a letter. Civitas. Capitolium. (The screen shows that CIVITAS = 2474509 & CAPITOLIUM = 2397864350) HODGINS: Which means capital city D.C. was laid out according to Masonic symbols. Now, notice the pentagrams in here over the white house? ANGELA: And do you see the compass and the square? ZACK: The point of the compass is over the US capital building. HODGINS: But here's where Angela's Barabbas thing really kicks in. ANGELA: The presence of Barabbas on this means backwards and upside down . So when the compass is inverted, it points to some very interesting landmarks. HODGINS: The bank, where we found the vault. ANGELA: The place where Father Cooper's body was dumped. ZACK: The highway overpass, off of which Gavin Nichols head was thrown. CAM: (points to screen): What's there? HODGINS: It's an old mansion that's now a nursing home. ANGELA: And this (she points to the screen) falls very precisely. CAM: What's that? HODGINS: A mausoleum at Silver Hill Cemetery. CAM: You want to look inside? HODGINS: Hell yeah I do. (Cut to: Silver Hill Cemetery - Night. Booth & Hodgins are going to investigate the mausoleum.) HODGINS: This mausoleum's been here since the eighteen hundreds. It's paid for by a trust. As far as the director of the cemetery knows, no one's been out here for a century. BOOTH: This better be good. HODGINS: Look. "Pater Mortus". BOOTH: Yeah. That means "Dead Father". HODGINS: You know Latin? Dude... BOOTH: Altar boy. (They approach the doors - looking for a way to get inside) HODGINS: You got a key? BOOTH: (with crowbar) Yeah, I brought my own. HODGINS: Wait...wait...wait. BOOTH: What? HODGINS: Can I do it? BOOTH: No, you don't let me play with your bugs. (Booth opens the door with his crowbar, they find another skeleton.) BOOTH: Ah, great, another one. HODGINS: Booth. This ones completely made of bone. ACT II (Cut to: Hospital. Amy is watching Hayley in her hospital bed. Brennan knocks lightly on the door.) AMY: Hi. BRENNAN: Hi, how's Hayley doing? AMY: Dr. Goetz is a God send. I don't know how to thank you. (Hayley wakes up) AMY: Hayley, sweetie, it's Dr. Brennan. BRENNAN: Temperance. HAYLEY: Another doctor? BRENNAN: Oh, not that kind. AMY: Temperance is Russ's sister HAYLEY: Couldn't you call him and tell him to come home. BRENNAN: It's complicated. AMY: Here, eat your Jell-O sweetie. (she leads Brennan over near the door, out of ear shot of Hayley.) I tried to get into the jail to see your father, they wouldn't let me in. They said I'm not a relative. BRENNAN: Amy, Russ is a fugitive. The minute he comes back to DC they'll toss him in jail. AMY: Well, how would anyone know? BRENNAN: Well, I work with the FBI. AMY: You don't have to be in this. All you have to do is ask your father to get a message to Russ. (uncomfortable silence) You look my baby in the face and tell her she can't see her father because you're mad at yours. (Brennan looks over at Hayley, eating her Jell-O.) (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform. Zack is looking at the skeleton they found.) CAM: What have we got? ZACK: So far, I've identified 18 different victims and I'm not done. All bones show cannibalism indicators. This tibia appears to be over 50 years old. CAM: You mean the victim is over 50. ZACK: What I mean is the victim was killed over 50 years ago. CAM: That would suggest that Gormogon's what? A minimum of 70 years old? ZACK: The teeth marks on this bone do not match Gormogon's teeth. CAM: My god. We have another cannibal out there? An old one? (Hodgins enters) HODGINS: The gemstone you found in Father Cooper's chest is violet jade. The dirt contains sepiolite. CAM: And we're happy about this because? HODGINS: Both violet jade and sepiolite are only found in a certain region of Turkey. The Anatolia region to be exact. Legendary site of the Garden of Eden. And this (he holds up a glass jar) comes from the vault. Guess what? It's the same stuff. CAM: (to Zack) Run the new dentals against the NCIC database. HODGINS: What do you want me to do? CAM: Uh, be on the lookout for a face eating cannibal who uses a walker? (Cut to: Prison - Visiting Room.) MAX: There's my girl. BRENNAN: I, um, I brought you a coffee cake but they - they took it from me. MAX: Yeah, well, I'm not into coffee cake. These days all my, uh, meals are prepared by men in hair nets. (he smiles) I'm glad you came. When I was waiting, I was thinking about all the places I've been that are worse than prison. El Salvador, for example, and that two weeks I spent in a shipping container. BRENNAN: Disney World. You hated Disney World. MAX: I thought I was always able to keep that from you kids. Brennan: (laughs) Nah...I was six, Russ was 10, it was pouring rain. Mickey sneezed so hard his head popped off. MAX: I think I like prison better. (They both laugh) BRENNAN: Dad, I'm here about Russ. MAX: Well, he's fine. You don't have to worry about Russ. BRENNAN: The woman he lived with, the...the kids he was raising. They need him home. MAX: Russ sends Amy and the girls money every month. BRENNAN: The younger child, Hayley, is...really sick. She's asking for him. MAX: How sick? BRENNAN: I'm here dad. I'm asking you to tell Russ. Let him make up his own mind what to do. MAX: If he comes back to D.C., Russ is going to end up in here with me. He won't do that. He's scared to death of jail. BRENNAN: He'll come if you ask him to. MAX: You look more like your mother everyday. BRENNAN: I've gotta go. (She gets up and walks towards the door) MAX: Well, come back soon. And thanks for the coffee cake. (She leaves and Max knows what he needs to do) (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's office. The team is gathered trying to put the pieces together in the Gormogon case.) ANGELA: I found the same symbol that was mailed to Dr. Brennan, on this tapestry. BOOTH: It looks like a bunch of tarot cards. ANGELA: Uh...okay. (pointing to the tapestry) The Architect. The Martyr. The Orator. The Musician. The Bishop. The Corrupter- BOOTH: Whoa. (he stands up) That's it. HODGINS: What? BOOTH: Gavin Nichols was the...the musician. HODGINS: Father Cooper was a bishop. BRENNAN: He's doing it in order. BOOTH: What's next? ANGELA: The corrupter. BRENNAN: So, the next victim is a corrupter. HODGINS: So, let's call up every p0rn kingpin and drug dealer in the country. Tell them to look out for a lunatic with a napkin in his collar holding a knife and fork. (Sweets enters.) SWEETS: Dude. You're being way too literal. These icons extend from the sixteen hundreds. A corrupter would mean a heretic. Like say, a pretender to the throne. BOOTH: What are you doing here, Sweets? SWEETS: You left a message that you wanted to see me. BOOTH: Not see. Talk. On the telephone. SWEETS: Interesting what people say unwittingly. I'm totally into the Gormogon file and it's my opinion, you're looking for a duo. BRENNAN: How did you get the file? SWEETS: Booth. BRENNAN: (aggravated) You gave him the case file? BOOTH: Time out, okay? He came up with the whole duo thing. HODGINS: We found another Widow Son skeleton. This one's complete. BRENNAN: The teeth marks suggest two cannibals. SWEETS: Really? It's awesome! It's like the Sith Lords, man. There's always only two of them. BOOTH: Did you just Star Wars us? SWEETS: In the parlance of the 17th century, it's a master and apprentice situation. Each master must create one of these sculptures while training an apprentice. Once complete, the master retires, the apprentice becomes the master - starts his own project. ANGELA: So, Gormogon used to be the apprentice. HODGINS: Now, he's the master. BRENNAN: How does me saying no, translate to bringing Sweets in? SWEETS: Okay get this. Both victims lost their father's at a young age. Widow son's. Coincidence? I think not. BOOTH: Also 2 months ago we arrested Gormogon's apprentice. ANGELA: Yeah. He killed himself. SWEETS: Point of Investigation. How do masters find their apprentices? Not on Craigslist. I checked. BOOTH: (phone rings and he picks up.) Booth. SWEETS: I'll bet you two free sessions that the master has access to "at risk" children. HODGINS: Kids got chops. BRENNAN: Well...anything else? SWEETS: Yeah. It must be killing him that you have this. (points to image of the silver skeleton on the screen) This is like, his whole reason for living. You might be able to find some way to use that. BOOTH: (closes phone) Wait til ya hear this. Father Cooper took a trip to Turkey last year. HODGINS: The Anatolia region. BOOTH: Mhmm. Gavin Nichols was on the same trip. ANGELA: The Bishop and The Musician. BRENNAN: What about a corrupter BOOTH: Trip was arranged by a lobbyist. Is that too literal? SWEETS: A lobbyist? Oh, that's a total pretender to the throne. (laughs) This is how we roll. Right guys? BOOTH: Bones, you got time to talk to a lobbyist? (Cut to: FBI - Booth's office. Brennan and Booth are speaking with Ray Porter, a lobbyist) RAY PORTER: You think my life is in danger because I went to Turkey? BOOTH: Two of the men you travelled with are dead. BRENNAN: Their faces were eaten off. RAY PORTER: This is Washington D.C. People have their faces eaten off all the time. BOOTH: Mr. Porter, are you a member of any fraternal order? BRENNAN: We know you're a member of the Knights of Columbus. BOOTH: Says so right here in your resume. BRENNAN: We know you went to Turkey with the Knights, to visit the mythical site of the Garden of Eden. RAY PORTER: And you think there's a cannibal out there, who has something against a group of civic minded men who do good works in their community? BOOTH: Look. The guy we're after? He thinks that the Knights of Columbus is an evil secret society. RAY PORTER: That's crazy. BOOTH: You know, I think it's finally catching on. BRENNAN: Your life is in danger. RAY PORTER: Why me? I mean, there were forty guys on that trip. BOOTH: How old were you when your father died? RAY PORTER: Six. What has that to do with anything. BRENNAN: You lost your father and you're a corrupter. RAY PORTER: Okay. You want to talk to me? You do it through my lawyer. BOOTH: Alright, listen. Mr. Porter, we're just trying to help here. RAY PORTER: The FBI is investigating influence peddling. I am one of your targets. Somebody eating off the faces of the Knights of Columbus? How stupid do you think I am? BRENNAN: Right now? Very, very, Stupid. (Porter walks out) BOOTH: Okay. Bones, you didn't have to call him corrupt. BRENNAN: Why? BOOTH: Why? Because obviously he is. (Agent Charlie knocks on Booths office door.) AGENT CHARLIE: Agent Booth? BOOTH: Yeah? AGENT CHARLIE: There's someone here to see you. (Russ appears in the doorway as Brennan stands up) RUSS: Where's Hayley? BRENNAN: Russ? You came to the FBI.. RUSS: Yeah, that was the deal. BOOTH: Wow, this just keeps getting better. Alright. Russ Brennan you're under arrest. Come on, you know the drill. RUSS: You lied? BOOTH: Keep your hands down. RUSS: You told Dad Booth wouldn't arrest me. BRENNAN: No! I never said that. RUSS: I should have known better than to trust anyone in this family. BRENNAN: Russ, I swear. RUSS: I wanna see my stepdaughter. (Cut to: Hospital. Hayley's Room. Hayley's sleeping in her hospital bed when Booth, Brennan and Russ arrive.) RUSS: Hi honey. (Booth takes off Russ's handcuffs) HAYLEY: Russ, I knew you'd come (coughs) (Russ goes over to Amy and hugs her) AMY: Here, Come here. Look who's here. RUSS: You making funny faces? HAYLEY: Uh-huh. RUSS: Huh. (He leans over and gives Hayley a hug) HAYLEY: Thank you for coming, Russ. (Brennan and Booth stand in the doorway, watching Russ, Amy & Hayley) BRENNAN: Thank you, Booth. BOOTH: Oh, this never happened. Don't thank me. As far as the bureau is concerned I caught him here, fifteen minutes from now. (Brennan leans up and kisses Booths cheek.) BRENNAN: Thank you. Booth. BOOTH: Just don't tell anyone. (Cut to: Prison - Visiting Room) BRENNAN: You told Russ I said Booth wouldn't arrest him. MAX: Look, I couldn't turn him over to you. That'd just put you in a quandary with Booth. I did it this way for you. BRENNAN: Dad! MAX: What? Booth busted him? That hard ass. (Brennan's phone rings and she picks it up.) BRENNAN: Brennan. ZACK: (On phone) Dr. Brennan, it's me Zack. I found something in the Gormogon vault I think you should see. MAX: What are you being such a hard ass on my kid for, Booth? ZACK: (on phone) Who's that? BRENNAN: (on phone) Nobody. (lowers her phone, then to Max.) It's not Booth. You know, it's - it's bad enough that nobody can't trust you, but now you're making it so Russ and I can't trust each other either. MAX: He came back. He hugged his little girl, okay? So far things are working out great. (Brennan turns to leave) I'm here for you and a lot of dads aren't. (Brennan stops and walks back to her father) BRENNAN: That's true, Dad. (She leans over and kisses him on the cheek and grabs onto his hand as she turns to leave again) (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab. Brennan and Booth walking down the stairs that lead to the basement of the Jeffersonian in the dark.) BRENNAN: What's going on, Zack? BOOTH: Why don't you turn the lights on? ZACK: I was down here helping Angela decode when I noticed the mirrors. BOOTH: What mirrors? (Zack hands them both a pair of night vision glasses) ZACK: Put these on so you can see where you're going. BOOTH: This better be good. ZACK: I'm surprised no one noticed the mirrors before. They're everywhere. Different kinds, different sizes. Placed seemingly at random around the vault. But, I have an over developed sense of spacial reasoning. As a result, things that appear random to some people appear deliberate to me. BOOTH: Zack! Just get on with it. ZACK: Watch this. (He flicks a switch and a laser light zigzags around the room.) BOOTH: Whoa. ZACK: Want to see where it ends? BOOTH & BRENNAN: (in unison) Yes. BOOTH: (bumping into a desk) Ow! (Brennan, Booth and Zack walk to a sculpture. The origin of the laser beam seems to be coming from the eye of it.) ZACK: From that spot you'd be able to see every corner of the vault. BOOTH: Shhh! BRENNAN: (whispering) I don't get it. What does it mean? BOOTH: (whispering) Gormogon. He's been watching us this whole time. (Zack nods.) [SCENE_BREAK] ACT III (Cut to: Brennan sitting behind a computer in the basement of the Jeffersonian. Booth runs down the stairs.) BOOTH: Bones. Tech guys, they did a sensor sweep? That eye's broadcasting a signal - both audio and video. It's white light activated so it probably wasn't triggered by Zack's laser. BRENNAN: What do we do? BOOTH: Exactly what Sweets said. Use it against Gormogon. BRENNAN: How? BOOTH: Haven't got a clue. BRENNAN: What.. If we fooled him into thinking that we're transferring the sculpture, he might try to grab it. BOOTH: Nah. BRENNAN: No! If he wants it as much as Sweets says, than he'll try to steal it. BOOTH: No... BRENNAN: Why not? BOOTH: Because I didn't think of it. Look it's a great idea, but if you're going to sell it you're gonna have to put Father Cooper's kneecaps in the silver skeleton. (A while later. Brennan and Booth are still in the basement. Brennan is putting the kneecaps in the silver skeleton - obviously over acting, hoping that Gormogon is watching them.) BRENNAN: I do this under extreme protest. BOOTH: The truck will be here any minute. BRENNAN: Who knows about this? BOOTH: Just you and me, Bones. Not even the driver knows what we're transporting. BRENNAN: The MRI at Bethesda will tell us if Gormogon hid anything within the bones. BOOTH: Like what? BRENNAN: (a bit louder) I don't know, That's why we need the MRI at Bethesda. BOOTH: Shhhhh... BRENNAN: (whispering) What? BOOTH: (whispering) Don't have to scream, I'm right here. BRENNAN: Riiiight. Okay. BOOTH: Are you done? We're kinda on a schedule. BRENNAN: (loudly again) Yes. I'm done. Now we can load it onto a truck and take it to Bethesda. (Cut to: DC Streets. Booth and Brennan, are in a yellow cab. Booth's driving behind the truck that transports the Sculpture. Brennan is sitting up front. BOOTH: (into walkie talkie) Alright, everybody keeps their distance. I don't want to spook this guy. BRENNAN: I have a question. BOOTH: No, You can't drive. We're undercover and I'm the taxi driver. BRENNAN: Passengers don't sit in the front seat. BOOTH: You're not a passenger, okay? You're a trainee. And I'm training you how to drive a taxi cab. (A motor cycle drives up next to the taxi and the driver takes a look at Booth and Brennan before speeding off ahead of them) BOOTH: (into walkie talkie) Okay, all units be advised. I got a motor cycle with no plates. (The motor cycle is following the truck. They go behind the corner. The person on the motor cycle drops a backpack on the ground. Brennan and Booth come behind the corner. Brennan and Booth see the backpack lying on the street.) BRENNAN: Whoa. BOOTH: Easy. (They almost hit the backpack, Booth hit the brakes of the cab.) BOOTH (shouting at brennan): Get down! BRENNAN: What - Why? (Booth goes to drive the car behind the backpack but he's too late and the backpack explodes fliping the taxi cab over a few times - Booth and Brennan are still in the car. They're both bleeding and have injuries and neither moves for a few seconds. Then Booth comes to, but Brennan still isn't moving.) BOOTH: Bones. Bones? (Booth tries to open his door but it doesn't work. He stretches his leg over Brennan, trying to kick her door open. When he realizes that that isn't going to work either he decides to go out the car window) BOOTH: Don't move. (He climbs out the window and falls to the ground. He quickly gets up and makes his way over to Brennan's side of the car - trying to pull her out of the window) BOOTH: Okay. Put your arm underneath my shoulder. Come on, you ready? (Brennan makes a noise) BOOTH: On 3. 1, 2, 3. Move. (He holds on to her as he pulls her out) BRENNAN: I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm okay, I'm okay. (He moves her away from the car and places her on the pavement as he flops down next to her.) BOOTH: Here. Get over here. The paramedics are on their way. BRENNAN: Now he knew who we were because I was sitting up front. BOOTH: No. It was because you were bad acting, that's what it was. BRENNAN: What? Back at the vau-? I was good. BOOTH: No, you were loud! That's what they call overacting. BRENNAN: Well, you shouldn't have shushed me! That's how he knew- BOOTH: (to an Agent) Who's got the motor cycle? FBI AGENT: Nobody. We lost the follow car. BOOTH: Dammit. Wait, what about the truck? FBI AGENT: It's fine BOOTH: Wait a second. He knew the truck was a decoy. He wasn't trying to get the skeleton back. He was trying to kill us. BRENNAN: Booth. BOOTH: What? (Brennan shows him the wound on her arm. Something is in it.) BOOTH: Oh. Alright, easy. I got it. (Booth pulls it out and looks at it) BOOTH: What is that? BRENNAN: (takes it from Booth) It's a human tooth. He put human teeth in his bomb for shrapnel. BOOTH: Bones. He was trying to kill us because - we know his next target. The corrupter. That lobbyist. (Booth runs off, leaving Brennan behind) BRENNAN: Hey. Wait I want to come! BOOTH: Stay right there! (Brennan stops running, as a fire truck approaches. The paramedics run over a few seconds later.) PARAMEDIC: You're going to be okay ma'am. BRENNAN: I'm fine. I'm fine. Flesh wound. (Cut to: Ray Porter's House. Booth kicks down the door and finds Ray in his underwear and tied and gagged in the same position as the "Widow's Son". He runs up the stairs to untie him) BOOTH: You believe me now? RAY PORTER: He ran downstairs, he got a knife. He had a knife. (Booth sees the guy from the motorcycle running towards the door on the lower level of the house. He points his gun, but the guy has already fled out the door. Booth runs downstairs and hops the fence, chasing him. The guy starts to throw thing his wake, to prevent Booth from catching him. The wind up in someone else's backyard, where the motorcycle rider grabs a young boy.) BOY: Mom! BOOTH: Hey, it's over. Drop him. BOY: No! No! Put me down. BOOTH: Put the kid down. Put him down! (Gormogon, who's still holding the child, jumps into the swimming pool. Booth hesitates. But jumps into the water. He saves the kid but Gormogon escapes. Booth swims to the top. Gormogon runs away. The kid is coughing, and crying as Booth hold on to him.) BOOTH: It's okay. It's alright. It's alright. It's over, okay? Okay, alright buddy. Okay. ACT VI (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform. Hodgins and Sweets are talking.) HODGINS: The Gormogons started out as good guys, you know. In the sixteen hundreds, the malignant manipulations of secret societies like - The Illuminati, The Carbonari, The Masons, The Tau - were starting to be felt. The Gormogons championed the ideal of that humanity should be free of these pernicious influences. Good guys. SWEETS: So you feel sympathy for Gormogon? HODGINS: There are secret societies working today. It's naive to think otherwise. You think I'm paranoid. SWEETS: Yeah. The question is, how paranoid? HODGINS: Zack says there are over thirty victims represented by the skeleton created by Gormogon and his master who has got to be in his eighties. And we know that there are 7 in the one created by Gormogon and (points to the picture of the motor man) his dead apprentice, including the violinist and the priest. Now my point of view? He's going after the Knights of Columbus. Gormogon is nuts. Dr. Sweets? SWEETS: Dead apprentice. Gormogon needs a new apprentice. He may have already found one. We're looking for a kid in his teens. (Cut to: Prison. Visitors Room. Brennan enters and is all cut up from the explosion.) RUSS: Tempe, what happened to you? BRENNAN: I got blown up. Russ I never told dad that you should turn yourself in to Booth. RUSS: If I'd come to you, you would have told Booth anyway. What do you mean, Blown up. BRENNAN: It's a case, Russ. It's my job. We're trying to put a bad guy away RUSS: You mean in here? With other bad guys like me? And dad? BRENNAN: There are levels of "bad guy" Russ, and you're not even on the first level. RUSS: Why do I feel like you just called me a sissy? BRENNAN: I wanted you to hear it from me Russ. Dad lied. I never told him it was safe to come back. RUSS: I had to come back, Tempe. BRENNAN: For Hayley. RUSS: Yes. But they are gonna put me away after my parole hearing. BRENNAN: It's not just that you violated parole! They think you know something about Dad's murder case. RUSS: I don't. Nobody believes anybody in this family. What, becau- Maybe I'm just like him, right? A liar, not worthy of trust. BRENNAN: No- Don't say that. RUSS: I am just like him. I am. I had a family. I left them. BRENNAN: You haven't killed anyone. RUSS: Is that - That's the most reassuring you can be? Hey Russ. Congratulations on never killing anyone. BRENNAN: Being reassuring has never been my strong suit. RUSS: Levels of "bad" right? And I'm a sissy? BRENNAN: It's a good thing, Russ. RUSS: Thanks for helping, Hayley. I love that little girl like she was my own. You believe that don't you? BRENNAN: Yeah, Russ. I believe that. (Cut to: FBI - Conference Room. Brennan is talking to Caroline Julian) CAROLINE: Normal person gets blown to hell? They go home, pour a glass of wine, watch tv! BRENNAN: Caroline, I think it should be worth something that Russ turned himself in. CAROLINE: Bumpin' into Booth at the hospital is not the same as turning himself in. BRENNAN: That's not what happened. CAROLINE: It's what Booth says happened. BRENNAN: No. Russ turned himself in but I convinced Booth to let him go see Hayley at the hospital. CAROLINE: I did not hear that. BRENNAN: (louder) Russ turned himself in, but I convinced Booth to let him go see Hayley at the hospital! CAROLINE: Do I have this straight? You're a genius? An honest to goodness, dyed in the wool genius? BRENNAN: Yes? CAROLINE: Dr. Brennan. I like you - on and off - but your brother is a material witness in my murder case. I cannot recommend that he be set free. BRENNAN: Please? CAROLINE: Aww, well. Now that you said please... BRENNAN: Are you being sarcastic? CAROLINE: YES. BRENNAN: Oh. CAROLINE: Best I can do is arrange for you to speak at your Brother's parole hearing. Looking the way you do, maybe the judge will feel sorry and let him go. (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Zack's office.) ZACK: These are the marks left by Gormogons teeth. I reverse engineered a dental set. So, this is what the front plate of Gormogon's teeth look like. Top and bottom from incisor to incisor. BRENNAN: Okay. ZACK: (points to a different screen) These are the teeth from the bomb. (Zack moves the one set on top of the other set.) BRENNAN: It's a match. It was Gormogons tooth lodged in my shoulder. ZACK: The tooth found in your shoulder, was chipped. In fact all of the teeth we found, almost a full set, were chipped. BRENNAN: Due to the explosion? ZACK: No. These marks here? Were made by common hardware store pliers. BRENNAN: He pulled out his own teeth? ZACK: I don't know. Certainly they were removed with pliers. BRENNAN: That's what happened, Zack. Gormogon pulled out all his teeth - one by one with pliers - and put them in a bomb. Booth was right. He meant to kill us. (Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform.) ZACK: I was photographing the skeleton in preparation for taking it apart, when I noticed this on a rib (He pulls up a screen showing a bone with a number on it) CAM: 1026? What is it? ZACK: It's a number. ANGELA: No, Zack. Cam meant, "What does it mean." CAM: Is it code. ZACK: It could be a ordinal index automata. I could start a solution but it would extend into infinity. ANGELA: And how long would that take? ZACK: Forever. Obviously. CAM: How's about that alphanumeric business? ANGELA: Uh...JBF. ZACK: Meaningless. ANGELA: No. wait a minute. I got it. CAM: What? ANGELA: He's an artist. He's finished something and It's terrible, but to him this is a piece of art. It's a signature. ZACK: 1026 is a number, not a name. ANGELA: No, I'm telling you. This is a signature. CAM: The vault is like a museum of the Gormogons right? ANGELA: An archive. CAM: Than why don't we just look in safe deposit box 1026? ANGELA: 'Cause they're all rigged to blow up when you open them. ZACK: Oh, I solved that one. In my head. While having my Cup-a-Soup. CAM: Wow. (Cut to: Jeffersonian basement - outside safety deposit boxes in the vault.) ZACK: What I'm doing is smothering the phosphorus with argon. Thus, giving Booth time to reach him with tongs to remove whatever is inside the box before it ignites. BOOTH: Why me. BRENNAN: Obviously, because you have the fastest reflexes. BOOTH: Fine. You can pull the tray. BRENNAN: Fine. CAM: Exactly how far back should I be standing. ZACK: Ready? Door. Tray. Lid. Tongs. (They get a key and the box explodes.) BOOTH: Whoa. ZACK: Did Booth get it? BRENNAN: Yes, Zack. Can't you see? ZACK: Not for another three to five minutes. BRENNAN: It's a key with a bar code on it. (Cut to: FBI - Booth's office. Brennan and Booth are talking to a social worker, Joyce Hewitt) JOYCE: You called me to the FBI because you found a key to my office? BRENNAN: We accessed the information contained in the bar code. BOOTH: It came up as the key to your office in the Social Service's building. JOYCE: That's not the key to my office. BRENNAN: Room 1026. Municipal Department of Social Services. JOYCE: Nobody's used a key like that since the seventies. It was before my time. BOOTH: Wait a second. Has that office always belonged to social services? JOYCE: Yes. Back then, it was dealing with foster care and group homes. BRENNAN: Booth, Sweets was right. That'd be a great place to recruit disturbed boys. JOYCE: Recruit for what? Uhm... It's just that that man that was in that office is a bit of a legend. He helped a lot of kids find their way. BOOTH: What was his name? JOYCE: Arthur Graves. He's retired now. BRENNAN: He wouldn't happen to live in a nursing home that used to be a mansion, would he? (Cut to: Restview Nursing Home. Booth and Brennan are there to question Arthur Graves. They're led in by a nursing home attendant, Mark Naylor) MARK: Mr. Graves has been here for five years. In a wheelchair for the last four. Sweet guy. A little particular about what he eats. BOOTH: You have no idea. MARK: Beg you pardon? BRENNAN: Oh, What's wrong with Mr. Graves? MARK: Alzheimer's. The last few months it's gotten pretty bad. BOOTH: Is he lucid? MARK: He comes and goes. Hey, Arthur. Some nice people are here to see you. BOOTH: Hey. Mr. Graves. FBI special agent Seeley Booth. Listen, we got a court order here. To get a dental imprint from you. BRENNAN: Mr. Graves, I'm not going to hurt you. I just need you to bite down on this for me. (As Brennan gets close to him, he turns and hisses at her. Brennan is rattled and backs up towards Booth.) MARK: Oh, hey. Hey. Sorry, he's not like that usually. I think you may have frightened him. BOOTH: How did he loose his teeth? MARK: They'd all been pulled when he got here. BOOTH: Does he have any regular visitors? MARK: There used to be a man. He drove a motorcycle. I believe he may have been a nephew. BRENNAN: (to Graves) We know who you are. We know what you did. (She moves quickly towards him only to be pulled back by Booth) BOOTH: Alright Bones. It's okay. Lets go. Check out his case file, see what kind of kids he could have recruited. Come on. Let's go. (Arthur smiles as they are led away) (Cut to: Courthouse. Booth and Brennan arrive. Amy is already there.) BOOTH: Okay. While I'm here I'm gonna get a court order to monitor Arthur Graves visitors. Okay. Just in case Gorgonzola decides to come back and visit his old master. BRENNAN: You're doing that Gorgonzola thing on purpose aren't you? AMY: Hi, Temperance. BRENNAN: Hi. AMY: If that's who I think it is, I can't really be friendly. BOOTH: I understand. I'll just wait over here. AMY: Here. (she reaches in her bag and hands Brennan a paper.) Uh, that's for you. (She opens it and it's a drawing of a family. It says "Thank you Auntie Temperance.") Hayley's feeling better. She even wanted to come. BRENNAN: Please tell her thank you. COURT OFFICER: Agent Booth? BOOTH: Yeah. COURT OFFICER: The judge will see you now. BOOTH: Great. COURT OFFICER: In chambers. BOOTH: Why in Chambers? (Booth and Brennan follow after the court officer.) Cut to: Judge Watkins Office. Brennan, Booth, Russ, Amy, Caroline, Judge and Russ's parole officer, Erica Davis are all inside.) CAROLINE: Judge Watkins, Russ Brennan has already proven himself a flight risk. ERICA DAVIS: He's attached to his family. JUDGE WATKINS: The same family he abandoned? RUSS: Temporarily. ERICA DAVIS: When his little girl needed him, he returned without any regard to himself. CAROLINE: You're his Parole officer. We're all here because you're the one who violated him. ERICA DAVIS: Only because it's the law, Ms. Julian. I have a lot of Faith in Russ Brennan. CAROLINE: Judge Watkins, Russ Brennan not only broke his parole by fleeing the region. He is a material witness in an upcoming murder trial. ERICA DAVIS: That is a totally different issue that has nothing to do with this hearing. JUDGE WATKINS: This isn't a hearing. It's an informal meeting to decide whether there will be a hearing. BRENNAN: Can I say something? CAROLINE: That is a slippery slope, Judge Watkins. RUSS: Can I? JUDGE WATKINS: No. BRENNAN: What? You said this was informal. JUDGE WATKINS: I'm still the judge and I get to make those decisions. Agent Booth, what are your thoughts? BOOTH: I got nothing to say, Judge. BRENNAN: Booth, please! Judge: I got a phone call from the Archbishop of D.C. 15 minutes ago. He promises to take a personal interest in Mr. Brennan's rehabilitation. CAROLINE: For God's sake. Why? JUDGE WATKINS: Also a psychiatrist, Dr. Lance Sweets, who says he believes Mr. Brennan will not flee the jurisdiction again. Plus, a parole officer who's recommending against revoking parole. Why should I ignore all that? CAROLINE: Because Ms. Davis will simply send Russ Brennan home. ERICA DAVIS: That is not my intention. RUSS: It's not? ERICA DAVIS: Mr. Brennan should be punished. CAROLINE: Punished how? ERICA DAVIS: Thirty days in county jail. BRENNAN: What? CAROLINE: That's nothing. RUSS: Seems pretty harsh from where I sit. ERICA DAVIS: Also eighteen months should be added to his parole. And he should be forced to wear electronic monitoring. CAROLINE: That is slightly more than nothing...but only slightly. JUDGE WATKINS: I will register your opinion, Mrs. Julian. But that's my ruling. If I had a gavel, I'd bang it, but how about the last one out just slams the door? (As they all walk out of the office, Caroline slaps Booth's arm.) BOOTH: Ouch! CAROLINE: I want you to consider what side you're on. Bishops and Psychiatrists and bleeding heart parole officers. That's what's wrong with the justice system in this country. (Russ sees Amy and gives her a kiss on the cheek and a hug.) BOOTH: Russ, you gotta go with the Marshals. BRENNAN: (to Booth) Thank you again. BOOTH: I didn't do anything, again. BRENNAN: (to Amy) You should thank him too. AMY: Why? BRENNAN: He saved Russ. BOOTH: I didn't do anything - (Amy runs up and hugs Booth) BOOTH: Okay. Uh...Russ..uh..time to go. (Amy grabs onto Russ's hand one last time before Booth leads him down the hall to the awaiting Marshals.) BOOTH: Okay here's the thing, Russ. Alright? You run again? You disappoint that woman and her kids and you break your sister's heart, I will- RUSS: Do something, terrible. I got it. BOOTH: Yeah, I hope you do. (to the marshals) All yours boys. RUSS: Hey Booth. Thanks. BOOTH: Yeah. Clean nose, buddy. Clean nose, clean heart. (Russ is lead away) (Cut to: Brennan reading a story to Hayley at the hospital.) BRENNAN: (reading to Hayley) "Why was I forgotten?" Mary said, stamping her foot. "Why does nobody come?" "The young man, whose name was Barney, looked at her very sadly. Mary even thought she saw him wink his eyes as if to wink tears away." (She looks down at Hayley and smiles.) (Cut to: Russ and Max being reunited in jail, they hug.) (Cut to: Angela examining a book in the vault and Hodgins come up behind her and places his hands on her shoulders.) (Cut to: Zack studying the completed skeleton sculpture as Cam watches - looking worried and unsettled.) (Cut to: Booth at the shooting range. He also looks unsettled. On the target, he's hit the heart - every shot.) (Cut to: Ray Porter is entering one of his rooms, looking through mail. He places the mail down and takes off his coat. He opens the door to hang it up in the closet when suddenly a teenage boy, about 15 years old, jumps out at him with a dagger - screen goes black.)

Plan: A: a priest; Q: Whose death led Booth and Brennan back to the Gormogon serial killer? A: the Gormogon serial killer; Q: What case did Booth and Brennan's investigation lead them back to? A: the priest's kneecaps; Q: What was removed from the priest? A: victims; Q: What does the Gormogon serial killer have a pattern for choosing? A: the evidence vault; Q: Where did Angela find a victim tree? A: The team; Q: Who attempts to make predictions on who the next victim is? A: Dr. Sweets; Q: Who provides psychological insights into the killer for Brennan and Booth? A: Brennan's brother; Q: Who reappears in the Gormogon case? Summary: Booth and Brennan's investigation into the death of a priest leads them back on the case of the Gormogon serial killer when the priest's kneecaps were discovered to have been surgically removed. They realize the killer has a pattern for choosing victims after Angela finds a victim tree in the evidence vault. The team attempts to make predictions on who the next victim is while Dr. Sweets provides psychological insights into the killer for Brennan and Booth. Meanwhile, Brennan's brother reappears.

Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. A town square in Galway, Ireland, 1753. The camera looks straight down from above onto the cobblestones. A lone rider on his horse passes underneath, and the camera follows them past a well as Angelus narrates. Angelus: There's moments in your life that make you, that set the course of who you're gonna be. Sometimes they're little, subtle moments. Sometimes... they're not. I'll show you what I mean. The horseman continues past a tavern on the far side of the square. The door opens, and a young drunk Angel and his drunk friend are thrown out. Angel: (with an Irish accent) We'll be back when we've found a bit more cash money! Keep the girls warm! The tavern proprietor slams the door shut, and Angel pounds on it a couple of times. Angel's friend: (moans) Let's go. Angel staggers back over to him and puts his arm around him. They begin to walk with a definite sway in their step. Angel: Come on. We'll sneak in and take some of me father's silver. He'll never miss it. He eats with his hands, the pig. His friend is too drunk to go on, and faints dead away, falling out of Angel's arm to the pavement. Angel looks down at him. Angel: Ah. Why don't you rest right here. He takes a look around and spots a noble lady in a fancy period dress standing in an alley beyond an archway. The woman gives a slight backward glance to be sure she has his attention, and starts to walk further into the alley, disappearing around a corner from Angel's view. He follows her. Cut to the alley. The woman continues her slow pace and looks up when Angel comes through the archway and begins to speak. As she gets closer to the camera it becomes clear that the woman is Darla. Her long curly blonde hair is very nicely coiffed. Angel: So, I'd ask myself... What's a lady of your station doing alone in an alley with the reputation that this one has? Darla: (still facing away) Maybe she's lonely. Angel: In that case, I'd offer myself as escort to protect you from harm and to while away the dull hours. Darla: You're very gracious. Angel: Hm. It's often been said. Darla: (turns to face him) Are you certain you're up to the challenge? Angel: (approaches her) Milady, you'll find that with the exception of an honest day's work, there's no challenge I'm not prepared to face. He stops in front of her and looks into her eyes. Angel: Oh... But you're a pretty thing. Where are you from? Darla: (smiles) Around. Everywhere. Angel: I never been anywhere myself. Always wanted to see the world, but... Darla: I could show you. (smiles) Angel: Could you, then? Darla: Things you've never seen, never even heard of. Angel: Sounds exciting. Darla: It is. And frightening. Angel: I'm not afraid. Show me. Show me your world. Darla: (closes her eyes) Close your eyes. Angel follows her example. The camera follows her hand as she puts it on his shoulder, and continues up to show her face vamped out. She smiles, lets out a low growl and opens wide as she leans in to bite him. When he feels the pain his eyes open wide, and he gasps. He can't keep steady, and sinks to his knees. Darla lets go of her bite, revealing his bloody neck, and stands up straight. She lifts her hand to her chest and draws a sharp fingernail across the skin above her breasts, allowing blood to trickle out. She grabs him by the back of the neck and pulls him in to her bosom so that his lips fall directly onto the cut, forcing him to taste of her blood. He puts his arms around her and drinks. Cut to the cemetery in Sunnydale, 1998. Angelus walks through carefully and quietly while watching Buffy fight a pair of vampires nearby. He sees her kick one and then the other, and then continues on to a better vantage point. One of the vampires rushes Buffy, and she flips him over onto his back. Buffy: Nice try. The other one comes at her again with a swing. She ducks it and punches him in the face, in the gut and again in the face. He falls to the ground, dazed. The first one comes at her again with a kick, but she blocks it with her arm, backhand punches him in the face, jabs him in the gut and grabs his arm, twisting it up high and forcing him to his knees in pain. Angelus looks on from behind a tree and smiles. The second vampire gets back up and rushes her. Without letting go of the first one she cleanly jams her stake into the other one's chest, and he crumbles into ashes. Angelus can't help but snicker. Buffy turns her attention back to the one she's holding and punches him in the face, making him roll away. Buffy: I want you to get a message to Angel for me. Tell him I'm done waiting. I'm taking the fight to him. Angelus smiles as he listens. Buffy: You got that? Need me to write it down for you? The vampire gets up and charges her. She grabs him and pulls him around and down to the ground, and immediately plunges her stake home. He bursts into ashes. Buffy: Alright, I'll tell him myself. She gets up and walks over behind a gravestone, where she reaches down to help someone up. Xander: (moans) I'm good. Don't worry about me. (rubs his neck) Buffy: You know, you don't have to patrol with me. Xander: (indicates the pile of ash) I had that guy under control until he resorted to fisticuffs. (cranes his neck) Oh! What is that, um... five vampires in three nights? Buffy: Yep. But no Angel. Xander: Are you, uh, really that anxious to come up against him? Buffy: I want it over with. Xander: (nods) I hear that. Buffy: Oh, we better go. (exhales) I haven't even started studying for finals yet. (starts to go) Xander: (joins her) Oh, yeah, finals! Why didn't you let me die? Buffy: Ah, look on the bright side. It'll all be over soon. They leave the cemetery under the watchful eyes of Angelus. Angelus: Yes, my love. It will. He smirks and turns to leave the other way. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The research lab at the Sunnydale Museum of Natural History. The camera pans across a large rectangular chunk of rock over to a technician. She is carefully cleaning off a section of the rock. She lets a jet of compressed air blow away some dust. A moment later she lets another jet go, and then reaches up with a brush and runs it across the rock. Dr. Doug Perren, one of the museum curators, comes over to check her progress. Doug: Careful, now. (points) Concentrate in this area. (watches her work a moment) There you go. The door opens behind him, and he turns to see Giles come in. Giles: Hello? Doug: (comes to greet him) Rupert Giles? Giles: Yes. Doug: Doug Perren. (shakes his hand) Thanks for coming. Giles: Oh, not at all. It's... flattered to be asked. Doug: I spoke with Lou Tabor at the Washington Institute, and he told me we had the best authority on obscure relics right here in Sunnydale. Giles: Oh... (laughs) He may have, uh, exaggerated a little. (sees the obelisk) Ah, is this the... Doug: This is our baby. (they approach it) Construction workers dug it up outside of town. Don't have a clue what it is. Any ideas? Giles: (touches and looks at the rock) A few. None I'd care to share until I can verify. (notices the runes on it) You have, uh, carbon dated it? (inspects the writings) Doug: The results'll be back in a couple of days. I'll go out on a limb and say old. Giles: (smirks) Um, yes, it, it certainly... (picks up a jar and a scraper) predates any, uh... settlements we've read about. (points) Um, may, may I? Doug: Yeah. Sure. Giles leans in and begins to scrape at the corner of the obelisk, catching the debris in the jar. He digs into an apparent groove. A few scrapes later he stops and taps the scraper clean on the jar. Giles: I assume you've, uh, you haven't tried to open it. Doug: Open it? He leans over to see what Giles has discovered. Doug: Ah, I'll be damned. I figured it was solid. What do you think is in there? Giles: (staring intently) I don't know. Doug: Well... I guess we won't know until we open it up. Giles: (considers) Yes, but could I ask, um... would you wait? I, uh... I'd like to work on translating the text. It-it-it might give us an indication of... what we'll find inside. Doug: You don't want to be surprised? Giles: A-as a rule, no. Doug: Alright. You're the expert. But I'm pretty damn curious, though. Giles: (removes his glasses) Yes. Yes, so am I. Cut to the cafeteria at Sunnydale High. The camera focuses on two fish sticks that Xander is holding, one with a toothpick stuck through the middle. He plays with them like puppets, moving the one with the toothpick around. Xander: Tell Angel I'm gonna kill him! No, wait. I'm gonna kill you! He starts to repeatedly stab the toothpick into the other fish stick. The camera pulls back and up to his face. Xander: Die! Die! Die! He makes an anguished face and lets the fish stick fall. Xander: Aah! (makes a thudding noise) (squeals) Mother! (smiles) Cordelia: Is that it? Xander: Yeah. That's it. (chuckles) Scene! (grins) Cut to Willow, Oz and Buffy at the opposite side of the table. Willow is sitting on Oz's lap. Buffy: That's exactly how it happened. Oz: Well, I thought it was riveting. Uh, I was a little unclear about some of the themes. Buffy: The theme is Angel's too much of a coward to take me on face-to- face. Xander: (still playing with the fish sticks) And the other theme was 'Buy American', but it, uh, got kind of buried. Willow: (to Buffy) Do you think you're ready to fight Angel? Buffy: I wish people would stop asking me that. Yes, I'm ready. I'm also willing and able. Just the one test I might actually pass. Willow: Don't say that! You're gonna pass everything. I will get you through this semester if I have to sweat blood. Xander: Do you think you're likely to? 'Cause I'd like to be elsewhere. Willow: It was only metaphor blood. Oz: I think you'd sweat cute blood. Willow: (gives Oz a smile) (to Buffy) Sixth period, after my computer class, we'll rock on chemistry. Buffy: Ready to rock. Cordelia: Boy, Willow, you've really got the teaching bug: taking over computer class, tutoring... Willow: (smiles widely) I love it. I really do. Cordelia: I think it's great to do that before you go out and fail in the real world. That way you're not falling back on something. You're falling... well, forward. Xander: (rolls his eyes) And almost sixty-five percent of that was actual compliment. Is that a personal best? Cordelia: Gee, Xander, what are you gonna teach when you fail in life? Advanced loser-being? Xander: I will teach... (with a French accent) zee Language of Love! (reaches for her) Cordelia: (fights him off) Don't touch me! You have fish hands! Snyder comes into the cafeteria behind them. Xander: Come, let me caress you! Cordelia: Stop it! Xander: Let me in! Cordelia: No! (laughs) Don't! Snyder: That's enough of that. (to Willow) And you! Are we having a chair shortage? Willow: I didn't read anything about... Oh. (slides off of Oz's lap and into her chair) I get it. Snyder: These public displays of affection are not acceptable in my school. This isn't an orgy, people. It's a classroom. Buffy: Yeah! Where they teach lunch. Snyder: (glares at her) Just give me a reason to kick you out, Summers. Just give me a reason. (walks off) Cordelia: How about because you're a tiny, impotent Nazi with a bug up his butt the size of an emu? Buffy: Sums it up. Cordelia: Don't you think? Willow: (smiles) (to Buffy) Do you wanna come by my house tonight and study, too? Buffy: Maybe. I-I do have to patrol. Willow: Again? Do you really expect Angel to turn up tonight? Buffy: No, I don't expect him to. But that's usually when he does. Cut to an abbey in London, 1860. Cut inside the nave. Monks are chanting. Drusilla walks behind the pews toward the confession booths. Before going in she faces the altar, kneels and crosses herself. She looks up briefly before getting back to her feet and going into one of the booths. As she steps in through the curtain an arm juts out of the adjacent one where the priest waits, and muffled noises and struggling can be heard. The arm gets pulled back in as quickly as it appeared. Cut inside the confessional. Drusilla sits down and pulls the scarf from her head. Drusilla: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. In the next booth Angelus is caught by surprise, and drops the dead priest. Drusilla: It's been two days since my last confession. (waits for an answer) Father? Angelus: (goes along with it) That's not very long. Drusilla: (with a trembling voice) Oh, Father, I'm so afraid. Angelus: The Lord is very forgiving. Tell me your sins. Drusilla: I had... (breathes deeply) I've been seeing again, Father. Yesterday, the men were going to work in the mine. I had... (shakes) a terrible fright. (draws a frightened breath) My stomach all (draws another) tied up, and I saw this horrible... crash. (calms a bit) My mummy said to keep my peace, it didn't mean nothing. But this morning... they had a cave-in. Two men died. Angelus: Go on. Drusilla: Me mum says... I'm cursed. (exhales) My seeing things is an affront to the Lord, (inhales sharply) that only he's supposed to see anything before it happens. (inhales, sobs) But I don't mean to, Father, I swear! (inhales) I swear! (begins to cry) I try to be pure in his sight. (sobs) I don't want to be an evil thing. Angelus: Oh, hush, child. The Lord has a plan for all creatures. Even a Devil child like you. Drusilla: (taken aback) A Devil? Angelus: Yes! You're a spawn of Satan. All the Hail Marys in the world aren't going to help. The Lord will use you and smite you down. He's like that. Drusilla: (frightened) What can I do? Angelus: Fulfill his plan, child. Be evil. Just give in. Drusilla: No! (sobs) I want to be good. (sobs) I want to be pure. Angelus: We all do, at first. The world doesn't work that way. Drusilla: Father... I beg you... Please... Please, help me. Angelus: Very well. Ten Our Fathers and an Act of Contrition. Does that sound good? Drusilla: (relieved) Yes. (exhales) Yes, Father. Thank you. Angelus: The pleasure was mine. And my child... (raises his hand to the lattice between them) Drusilla: Yes? Angelus: (stares at her) God is watching you. Cut to the atrium at Angelus' mansion, 1998. Drusilla comes down the stairs to the garden below. There Spike sits in his wheelchair and reads the newspaper. Spike: Nice walk, pet? Drusilla: (holds her tummy as though sick) I met an old man. Didn't like him. He got stuck in my teeth. (licks her fingers) (faces Spike) But then the Moon started whispering to me... (closes her eyes and leans her head back) All sorts of dreadful things. Angelus walks into the Garden behind Spike. Angelus: Well, what did it say? Spike: Oh. Look who's awake. Angelus bumps Spike's head with his fist as he walks past him. Angelus: What did the Moon tell you? (walks around Dru) Did you have a vision? Is something coming? Drusilla: Oh, yeah. (whispers) Something terrible. Psst, psst, psst, psst, psst, psst... Angelus: Where? Drusilla: At the museum. A tomb... (smiles) with a surprise inside. Angelus: (holds his hand up to her head) You can see all that in your head? Spike: No, you ninny. She read it in the morning paper. (hands over the paper) Angelus: (takes the paper and looks) Oh, my. The headline of the Sunnydale Press reads 'Mysterious Obelisk Unearthed'. The article's subtitle reads 'Excavators Discover Ancient Artifact'. Drusilla: That's what's been whispering to me. Sh. Angelus: Oh, yeah. (to Drusilla) Don't worry, though. Soon it'll stop. (to Spike) Soon it'll scream. He smiles over at Spike. Drusilla waves her head around open-mouthed and playfully snaps at Angelus' cheek. Cut to the computer science classroom after school. Willow is tutoring Buffy in chemistry. Buffy gives up in frustration and slaps down her pencil. Buffy: Waah! This doesn't make any sense. (pouts at Willow) Willow: Well, sure it does. See... (takes the paper and looks) Oh, no, this doesn't make any sense. Buffy: (shrugs) It's senseless. (plays with her pencil) Willow: (encouragingly) It is, but at least you know that, so you're learning. (looks at the problem more closely) Buffy: Yay me. Well, it doesn't matter anyway. I mean, when in the real world am I ever gonna need chemistry or history or math or the English language? Willow: (shoots Buffy a glance) Okay. I see your problem. Buffy: I'm a moron? Willow: (gives Buffy a look) Will you stop that? You're not stupid! You've just had a lot on your mind. You can learn this real easily, but if you're just gonna give up, then don't waste my time. Buffy: (impressed) Wow. You really *are* a good teacher. (smiles) Willow: Okay. Look at this. A covalent bond, which means these two atoms are linked by this... Buffy puts her pencil down on her open book, and it rolls off of the desk and into the space between it and the filing cabinet next to it. Buffy: Ohh! (moans) Hold that thought. She reaches down and in with her fingers, and pulls the pencil out. In the process she bumps the disk with the pencil so it now leans against the desk instead of the cabinet. Buffy: (sits back up) Okay. I'm Learn Girl. Willow: Okay. (points to the paper) So, see here... Buffy: (has an epiphany) Deja vu. Willow: Really? Buffy: Yeah. I have this perfect memory of the pencil and... She drops the pencil onto her book again. It rolls off of the desk again, falls and hits the disk. She looks over into the space and sees the disk. She reaches down again for it and her pencil. Buffy: Oh, hey. (pulls up the disk and pencil) You dropped this. She hands the unlabeled yellow disk to Willow, who looks at it curiously. Willow: It's not mine. It might be something of Ms. Calendar's. She inserts the disk into her laptop's floppy drive. Buffy: This feels kinda morbid. Willow: (smiles at Buffy) I've gone through most of her files already. Buffy: Does that make it *less* morbid or you *really* morbid? The program on the disk starts up, and the Rumanian text scrolls into the left-hand window. Willow: (sighs) I had to, to teach her class. The translation program's percent complete window appears, and the bar begins to zip across the screen. Buffy: Relax, Will. I was making with the funny. They both watch as the bar reaches the far side. It disappears, and the English translation scrolls into the right-hand window. Buffy: (looks closely) Does that say 'restoration'? (keeps reading) Willow: It's one of her spells, I think. (looks at Buffy) Ms. Calendar wasn't a practicing witch, but she did dabble... Buffy: (interrupts) Willow... (keeps reading) Willow looks back at the screen and begins reading more. She quickly realizes what they've found. Willow: Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. The camera closes in on Buffy. She has stopped reading, and just looks stunned. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ A wood in Rumania, 1898. Angelus runs through the trees, panting in his desperation to reach a gypsy camp. Cut to the camp. The camera pans across the dead body of the young Kalderash Gypsy girl that Angelus has recently killed. She is on a table dressed in white and lying on an intricately patterned quilt with candles burning around the perimeter. Members of the clan are laying rose petals on her. The camera continues to pan over to the Elder Woman sitting beneath a tent canopy and chanting over an Orb of Thesulah surrounded by candles within a sacred circle. Angelus continues running through the woods as she chants. Elder Woman: Nici mort, nici de-al fiintei, Te invoc, spirit al trecerii. Reda trupului ce separa omul de animal! Translation: Neither dead, nor of the living, I invoke you, spirit of the passing. Return to the body what distinguishes Man from the beast! Angelus breaks through the trees into the clearing of the camp. He trips and falls by the great bonfire raging near the center of the camp. Elder Woman: Asa sa fie. Translation: So it shall be. He gets to his hands and knees and looks over at the Elder Woman, still chanting. Cut to the Elder Woman. Elder Woman: Utrespur aceastui. Translation: Restore this one. The glowing Orb suddenly gets very bright for an instant, and then goes dark. Cut to Angelus. His eyes grow bright for a moment, then return to normal, his soul now restored. An elder man of the clan steps up to him as he sits back on his ankles. Gypsy Man: It hurts, yes? Good. It will hurt more. Angel: (confused) Where am I? (pants hard) Gypsy Man: You don't remember... everything you've done for a hundred years. In a moment, you will. The face of everyone you killed... our daughter's face... they will haunt you, and you will know what true suffering is. Angel: (still not understanding) Killed? I, I don't... Slowly the memories come back to him: all the people in Budapest after the earthquake that he and Darla killed for their blood; all the people he's turned into demons; the gypsy girl that proved to be his downfall. Angel: No... He looks down away from the man and begins to sob. Angel: No... No... No... He bends down to the ground in sorrow and grief. Cut to the library at Sunnydale High School, 1998. Xander and Cordelia are sitting at the table. Giles walks up to Buffy and Willow. Giles: What are you saying? Buffy: The curse. (holds out a printout) This is it. Willow: Looks like Ms. Calendar was trying to replicate the original curse. To restore Angel's soul again. Giles: (takes the printout, stares at it) She said it couldn't be done. Buffy: Well, she tried anyway. And it looks like it might have worked. Xander: So he killed her... before she could tell anyone about it. What a prince, huh? (looks away) Cordelia: This is good, right? I mean, we can curse him again. Buffy paces, thinking. Giles: Um, well, this, um... certainly points the way, but... the ritual itself requires a greater knowledge of the black arts than I, I, I can claim. Willow: Well, I've been going through her files and, and researching the black arts, for fun, or educational fun, and I may be able to work this. Giles: (very concerned) W-Willow... channeling... such potent magicks through yourself, it could open a door that you may not be able to close. Buffy: I don't want you putting yourself in any danger, Will. Willow: And I don't want danger. Big 'no' to danger, but I may be the best person to do this. Xander: Hi! For those of you who have just tuned in, (gets up) everyone here is a crazy person. (walks to the end of the table) So this spell might restore Angel's humanity? Well, here's an interesting angle. (harshly) Who cares? Buffy: I care. Xander: (not surprised) Is that right. Giles: Let's not lose our perspective here, Xander. Willow looks at Xander, disbelieving what she's hearing from him. Xander: (standing his ground) I'm Perspective Guy. Angel's a killer. Willow: Xander... Buffy: It's not that simple. Xander: (disgusted) What? All is forgiven? I can't believe you people! Cordelia: (gets up) Xander has a point. Xander: (to Cordelia, in a raised voice) You know, just for once, I wish you'd support me, and I realize right now that you were, and I'm embarrassed, so I'm gonna get back to the point, (to the others) which is that Angel needs to die. Giles: Curing Angel seems to have been Jenny's last wish. Xander: Yeah? Well, Jenny's dead. Giles: (approaches Xander angrily) Don't you *ever* speak of her in that tone again! Xander: (yells back) Can't you hear what I'm saying? They begin to argue heatedly. Buffy rushes over and gets between them. Buffy: Stop it! Stop it! They all shut up and glare at each other for a moment. Buffy turns away and goes over to Willow, very upset. Giles paces away, also very upset. Willow: (quietly) What do you wanna do? Buffy: (sighs) (quietly) I-I don't know. What happened to Angel wasn't his fault. Xander: Yeah, but what happened to Ms. Calendar is. Buffy and Willow stare at him in disbelief. Xander: (very coldly) You can paint this any way you want. But the way I see it is that you wanna forget all about Ms. Calendar's murder so you can get your boyfriend back. Buffy refuses to listen to any more of this, and walks out of the library. Willow and Giles just stare at Xander in surprise and shock. He walks back to his chair at the table. Cut to the museum research lab. Dr. Perren is going over his notes when he hears some whispering coming from behind him. He turns around to look, but no one's there. Doug: Hello? He gets up and slowly walks over to the obelisk. The whispering gets louder as he nears it. He reaches up to the runes on the face of the rock and touches them. The whispering seems to be coming from inside. He places his hand flat on the face of the rock and stares up at it in amazement. Suddenly Drusilla wraps her hand around his mouth from behind and pulls his head back to expose his neck. She leans in and bites him hard as he struggles to get away. Behind her Angelus and two other vampires approach the obelisk. Angelus: I'll have one of these to go. The two vampires walk around the rock with some rope and tools to haul it away. Angelus: Dru... She jerks her head up from her victim and turns her eyes toward him, growling and smiling a most evil smile. Angelus: Save me some. Cut to Buffy's room at home. She piles a bunch of stakes and crosses into her bag while talking on the phone with Willow. Buffy: Well, I'll do a couple of sweeps, and then I'll stop by. (listens) Yeah, Xander was pretty much being a... Willow! Where did you learn that word? My God. You kiss your mother with that mouth? She goes over to her desk while listening to Willow talk some more. She grabs a couple more stakes from the top left drawer. Buffy: I don't know. I don't know what I wanna do. At the bottom of the drawer she sees the claddagh ring that Angel gave her, and stares at it sadly for a moment. She reaches in for it and holds it gently with her fingers, remembering. Buffy: I'll, I'll see you in a little while, okay? She turns off the phone and sets it down. She holds the ring with both hands again and gazes at the design: two hands for friendship, a crown for loyalty and a heart for love. Cut to the park. Buffy walks through on patrol and heads into some bushes. She stops and jerks her head aside when she hears something snap. Slowly she takes a few more steps to investigate. She hears another sound behind her, and spins around to look. Nothing. Again she takes a couple of steps. Suddenly Kendra comes out of the bushes to stand right behind her. Buffy instantly pivots around with her fist held up, ready to punch. She stays herself when she recognizes the other girl. Buffy: (exhales) You know, polite people call before they jump out of the bushes and attack you. Kendra: (in her accent) Just wanted to test your reflexes. Buffy: How about testing my face-punching? 'Cause I think you'll find it's improved. Kendra: I was on my way to your house. Saw you walking. Couldn't help meself. Buffy: (smiles) Which begs the question, and don't think I'm not glad to see you, but, why are you here? (Kendra starts to answer) Oh, wait. No, let me guess. Your watcher informed you (imitating her accent) dat a very dark power is about to rise in Sunnydale. Kendra: Dat's about it. Buffy: Great. So, you have any idea what this dark power is? Cut to the main hall in Angelus' mansion. He and Drusilla walk in across the marble floor to where Spike is sitting in his wheelchair, staring at the obelisk set in front of the huge fireplace. Spike: (hears them coming) It's a big rock. I can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big. Angelus: Spike, boy, you never did learn your history. Spike: Let's have a lesson, then. Angelus: Acathla the demon came forth to swallow the world. (strolls to the obelisk) He was killed by a virtuous knight who pierced the demon's heart before he could draw a breath to perform the act. Acathla turned to stone, as demons sometimes do, and was buried (turns to face Spike) where neither man nor demon would want to look. (starts away from the obelisk) Unless of course they're putting up low-rent housing. Boys... The two vampires reach up with crowbars and pry open the tomb. The lid crashes to the floor, stirring up plenty of dust. Inside is a tall, horned, stockily built stone demon with a sword protruding from the right side of its chest. Upon seeing him Drusilla closes her eyes, raises her hands to the sides of her head and begins to sway it back and forth. Drusilla: He fills my head. I can't hear anything else. Spike: Let me guess. Someone pulls out the sword... Angelus: Someone worthy... Spike: Mm. The demon wakes up, and wackiness ensues. Drusilla: (opens her eyes, lowers her arms) He will swallow the world. Angelus: And every creature living on this planet will go to Hell. He walks up to Acathla for a closer look, and turns to face the others. Angelus: My friends... we're about to make history... end. (smiles evilly) [SCENE_BREAK] ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Giles comes out of his office into the main room where Buffy and Kendra are waiting at the table. Willow is behind the counter, researching in a book. Giles: I've been on the phone to the museum. The artifact in question is missing, and the curator has been murdered. Vampires. (leans on the table) Buffy: And you're sure this was the tomb of Alfalfa? Giles: Acathla. And yes, the information provided by Kendra's Watcher seems conclusive. He straightens back up. Willow walks out from behind the counter. Willow: Okay, somebody explain the whole 'he will suck the world into Hell' thing, because that's the part I'm not loving. Giles: Well, the, uh, (puts on his glasses) the Demon Universe exists in a dimension separate from our own. (sits on the table) With one breath, Acathla will create a vortex, a-a kind of, um... whirlpool that will pull everything on Earth into that dimension, where any non-demon life will suffer horrible and... eternal torment. Buffy: So that would be the literal kind of 'sucked into Hell'. (smiles nervously) Neat. (frowns, turns to Willow) Willow, I think you should try the curse. Kendra: I tend to side with your friend Xander on this one. Angel should be eliminated. Buffy: Oh, I'll fight him. I'll kill him if I have to. But if I don't get there in time, or if I lose, then Willow might be our only hope. Willow: (taken aback) I don't *wanna* be our only hope! Uh, I crumble under pressure! Let's have another hope. Kendra: We have. (pulls a sword from her bag) Blessed by the knight who first slew the demon. (Giles looks at the sword, intrigued) If all else fails, this might stop it. I tink. Giles: (approaches) Ooh. May I? May I? (takes the sword from Kendra) Thank you. Well, l-let's, uh, hope all else doesn't fail. (to Willow) Um, how close are you to f-figuring out the ritual of the curse? Willow: (goes to her pack) I need about a day, and... (picks up some papers and reads) an 'Orb of Thesulah'? Whatever that is. Giles: (hands the sword back to Kendra) Spirit vault for rituals of the undead. (heads toward his office) I've got one. (embarrassed) I-I've been using it as a... paperweight. (disappears into his office) Willow: (to Buffy) This means I can't help you study for tomorrow's final. Buffy: Ah, I'll wing it. Of course, if we go to Hell by then, I won't have to take 'em. (worried) Or maybe I'll be taking them forever. Giles: (comes back with the Orb) Angel has a ritual of his own to perform before he can remove the sword and awaken Acathla. With any luck, it should take some time. Buffy stares at the Orb as Giles hands it to Willow. Cut to Angelus' mansion. Spike paces in his room. He hears Drusilla coming. Drusilla: Spike? He quickly gets back into his chair. Drusilla comes through the curtain into the room. Drusilla: Spike, my sweet! The fun's about to begin. He wheels himself out of the room and heads for the main hall. Cut to the main hall before the obelisk. The two vampires drag in a young man, barefoot and bare-chested with his hands tied behind his back. They drop him to the floor before Spike, Angelus and Drusilla. Angelus: (comes toward the young man) I will drink... the blood will wash in me, over me, and I will be cleansed. I will be worthy to free Acathla. (looks at Spike) Bear witness... (looks at Drusilla) as I ascend... (looks ahead and morphs into his game face) as I become. He grabs the man by the hair and lifts him up, holding his head at an angle to expose his neck. He roars and bites the young man hard and fast on the neck. He drinks deeply, brings up his hand to brush it against the man's wound and then lets him fall to the floor dead. He looks at the blood on his hand. He lowers it and starts to walk slowly toward Acathla. Angelus: Everything that I am, everything that I have done, has led me here. Cut to Manhattan, 1996. A bum steps up to a trashcan and begins to go through it. A man walks past him and on down the street. Having found nothing, the bum makes his way into an alley with slow, labored steps. A boy runs past him with a package and disappears further down the alley. The bum, tired and weak, staggers into a concrete post at the side of the alley and stops. He coughs and rolls around to lean with his back against the post, and it's Angel, tired, filthy and unkempt. He just breathes for a moment, and then smells something. He searches the alley with his eyes and spots a rat scampering across to the other side. He takes a couple of unsteady steps, brushes the hair from his face and begins to stalk the rat. It reaches the other side and disappears into a pile of trashcans and bags. Angel dives after it, scattering the cans and bags noisily, but loses the rat. A man comes into the alley behind him. Angel rolls over to sit and flails his arms at the trashcans in anger over missing the rat. The man comes up to him. Whistler: God, are you disgusting. Angel calms down a bit and looks around himself. Whistler: This is really an unforgettable smell. This is the stench of death you're giving off here. And the look says, uh... Crazy Homeless Guy. It's not good. Angel: (angrily) Get away from me. Whistler: What are you gonna do, bite me? (gasps and jumps back) Horrors! A vampire! Angel looks at him in surprise. Whistler: Ah, but you wouldn't bite me on account of your poor, tortured soul. It's so sad, a vampire with a soul. It's so poignant. Angel: (confused) Who are you? Whistler: Let's take a walk. Cut to a ways down the street. The two of them walk along the sidewalk for a few paces and then turn into the street to cross to the hotdog stand on the other side. Angel isn't paying any attention to the traffic, so Whistler grabs his arm to stop him. Whistler: What are you eating? (they continue across) Like, a rat once a month? Angel strays and almost walks into another car. Whistler grabs him again and pulls him back in time. Whistler: Hey! (car honks, they continue) Look, you're skin and bones here! Butcher shops are throwing away more blood in a day than you could stand. Good blood. (they reach the far side) You lived in the world a little bit, you'd know that. Angel: I wanna know who you are. (stops) Whistler: (stops and faces him) And I wanna know who *you* are. Angel: You already do. Whistler: Not yet. But I'm looking to find out. 'Cause you could go either way here. Angel: I don't understand you. Whistler: Nobody understands me. That's my curse. (chuckles) He steps over to the street vendor and pulls out some cash. Whistler: Dog me. Mustard. He watches the vendor get out the hotdog and squirt on some mustard. Whistler: (to Angel) My name's Whistler. Vendor: Here you go. Whistler: (takes the dog) Thanks. (hands over a bill, turns to Angel) Anyway, lately it is. (takes a bite) Mm. Angel: (looks down) You're not a vampire. Whistler: A demon... technically. I mean, I'm not a bad guy. Not all demons are dedicated to the destruction of all life. Angel: (looks at him) Whadaya mean, I can go either way? Whistler: I mean that you can become an even more useless rodent than you already are, or you can become someone. A person. Someone to be counted. Angel: I just wanna be left alone. (starts away) Whistler: Well, yeah, you've been left alone for, what, ninety years already. (Angel turns back) And what a package you are. The Stink Guy! Angel: What do you want from me? Whistler: I want you to see something. He gives Angel an intense look. Angel just looks at him. Whistler: We'd have to leave now. You see, and then you tell me what you wanna do. Angel: Where is it? Cut to Hemery High School in Los Angeles, 1996. School is over for the day, and the students come streaming out. An old, rusted Chevy Impala with its windows spray-painted black pulls up on the far side of the street. The driver's window lowers, and Angel squints out into the daylight, careful to remain in shadow. He looks over at the building and sees Buffy come down the steps with three of her friends. Buffy: So I'm like, 'Dad, do you want me to go to the dance in an outfit I've already worn? Why do you hate me?' Girl#1: Is Tyler taking you? Buffy: Where were you when I got over Tyler? He's of the past. (Angel watches her) Tyler would have to crawl on his hands and knees to get me to go to the dance with him. Which, actually, he's supposed to do after practice, so I'm gonna wait. Girl#1: Okay. See ya later. Girl#2: Bye! Buffy: (waves to Girl#1) Call me! Girl#1: Okay! Buffy: (waves to Girl#2) Call me! (waves to Girl#3) Call me! Girl#3: I will! Buffy climbs back up a few steps and looks around. She takes off her jacket and sits down to wait for Tyler. She lays the jacket across her legs and idly looks around again. A man in a black suit approaches her. He is her first Watcher, who has finally found her. Watcher: Buffy Summers? Buffy: (looks at him) Yeah? (smiles) Hi! (confused) What? Watcher: I need to speak with you. Buffy: (worried) You're not from Bullock's, are you? 'Cause I-I meant to pay for that lipstick. Watcher: There isn't much time. You must come with me. Your destiny awaits. Buffy: (confused, shakes her head) I don't have a destiny. (nods) I'm destiny-free, really. Watcher: (seriously) Yes, you have. You are the Chosen One. You alone can stop them. Buffy: Who? Watcher: The vampires. Buffy: (considers for a moment) Huh? Cut to a cemetery. Buffy lands flat on her back. Buffy: Oof! A vampire props himself over her, growling menacingly. She is very frightened, and looks around frantically for what to do. Angel watches from behind some gravestones. Buffy spots her stake, but can't reach it, so she just gets her hands underneath the vampire and pushes him off. He flies off of her and lands hard on his back. Buffy: Oh, God... She rolls onto her hands and knees and scrambles on all fours to retrieve her stake. Buffy: Oh, God... Oh... Oh, God... Unh! She grabs the stake and quickly gets to her feet. She looks at it, unsure of what to do next. The vampire gets up and lunges at her. Reflexively she grabs him, sidesteps him and sends him flipping over to the ground again, dazed. She looks at the vampire, amazed by what she just did. She glances back at the Watcher, down at her stake and then makes her move to dispatch the vampire. She quickly gets to her knees, raises the stake above her head and plunges it into him, but gets him in the gut instead of the chest. Buffy: Oh! Not the heart! Angel watches, concerned. Buffy plunges the stake into the vampire again, and this time hits her mark. An instant later the vampire bursts into ashes. Buffy is caught by surprise, and she screams and jumps back, landing on her butt. She just stares at the ashes on the grass in wide- eyed shock. Behind her the Watcher steps up. Watcher: You see? You see your power? Buffy isn't at all sure she wants to see. Angel continues to watch. Cut to Buffy's house in L.A. The camera looks into her room from outside. Buffy comes in with her mother close behind. Joyce: Why didn't you call? Buffy: (faces her mom) I'm sorry. I-I didn't know it was so late. Tyler and I were talking. Joyce: (exhales) That boy is irresponsible. Buffy: No, mom. It's not his fault. (takes off her jacket) Joyce: You know we worry, that's all. They look at each other for a moment, and Joyce shrugs. Joyce: Dinner's in ten minutes. (leaves) Buffy: (whispers) Yeah. She goes through the other door into her bathroom. The camera pans from the bedroom window over to the bathroom window. She turns on the water to wash up from the cemetery. Her parents talk in the hall, and she can hear as it escalates into an argument. Hank: Did she say where she was? Joyce: She was with Tyler. Hank: I don't want her seeing him anymore, period! Angel looks in at her from outside. Joyce: You're overreacting, dear. Buffy looks at herself in the mirror sadly. The tears begin to come. Hank: Don't do that! Don't talk to me like I'm a kid! Joyce: I don't! Just forget it! Angel continues to watch and listen. Hank: Just because you can't discipline her, I have to be the ogre! Buffy keeps on staring into the mirror. Joyce: I am not having this conversation again! Alright? Buffy looks down and tries hard not to cry. Cut to the sewers. Angel arrives where Whistler is waiting for him. Whistler: She's gonna have it tough, that Slayer. She's just a kid. The world's full of big, bad things. Angel: I wanna help her. (Whistler looks at him) I want... I wanna become someone. Whistler: God, jeez, look at you. She must be prettier than the last Slayer. (Angel looks away) This isn't gonna be easy. The more you live in this world, the more you see how apart from it you really are. (sternly) And this is dangerous work. Right now, you couldn't go three rounds with a fruit fly! Angel: (with resolve) I wanna learn from you. Whistler: Alright. Angel: But I don't wanna dress like you. (starts to leave) Whistler: (follows) Again, you're annoying me. You're lucky we need you on our side. Cut to Angelus' mansion, 1998. He approaches Acathla, still vamped out. Angelus: I have strayed, I have been lost. But Acathla redeems me. With this act, we will be free. He grabs the hilt of the sword with both hands. A blindingly bright light emanates from it. Drusilla smiles and bathes herself in it. Angelus begins to shake with the power of the sword. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ In the main hall of Angelus' mansion. He holds onto the sword tightly, trying to draw it out of Acathla. It won't budge, and a moment later a bright red flame bursts from the sword, throwing Angelus back and onto the floor. Spike: (sing-song) Someone wasn't worthy. Angelus: (scrambles to his feet) Damn it! Drusilla: (freaks out) This is so... disappointing! (moans) Angelus: (paces angrily) There must be something I missed. The incantations, the blood... I don't know! Spike tries hard to suppress a snicker, hiding his mouth with his hand. Drusilla: (whining) What are we going to do? Angelus: (menacingly) What we always do in a time of trouble: turn to an old friend. Hope returns to Drusilla's eyes. Angelus: (viciously) We'll have our Armageddon. I swear! He grabs a vase from a shelf and heaves it at the far wall, smashing it into hundreds of tiny pieces. Cut to class the next day. Willow, Buffy, Xander, Cordelia and the rest of the class are taking one of their final exams. Everyone is intent on it. Buffy looks up and glances around briefly, then turns her attention back on her paper. Cut to the hall. There are very few students. A mysterious figure with a shawl over its head walks slowly toward the room where the team is taking their test. The camera follows. The few students who pass don't take any notice. Cut back to the class. Everyone is concentrating on the test, and no one notices as the vampire comes in and pulls the shawl away from its face. Vampire: Tonight... Sundown... (everyone looks up) At the graveyard... Teacher: (gets up) Excuse me... Exposed now to the daylight, the vampire begins to smoke. Vampire: You will come to him. (takes the shawl off) You will come to him or more will die. She points at Buffy and ignites. Buffy watches, taken aback by the vampire's direct approach at delivering her message. Vampire: Tonight! The students scream, jump out of their chairs and begin to run from the room. Cordelia and Xander also jump up, but don't run. Buffy remains calmly in her seat. Vampire: His hour is at hand! She combusts in a flash of flame and smoke. Buffy just stares at the empty space before her. Cut to the library. Xander, Cordelia and Willow are researching at the table. Kendra approaches with her sheathed sword. The camera pulls back to show Giles and Buffy up on the mezzanine. Buffy: She said more would die. I have to go. Kendra: Den I should go wit you. Buffy: (faces Kendra) No. I need you here just in case. (heads for the stairs) I can take care of myself. And look, (comes down) as long as Angel's fighting me, then he can't do this end-of-the-world ritual thingy, and that's a good. (reaches the table) Will, what do you think? Willow: (looks over her research) I just want to cross-check... Buffy: We don't have time. If this is gonna work, it has to work now. Willow: Okay. Then I need maybe half an hour once we're all set up. Giles: (looks at the shelves) Which means you just have to hold Angel off. Don't let him close on you. (pulls out a book) If the curse succeeds, you'll, you'll know. He tosses the book down to Xander. Xander checks the title, and hands it to Willow. Cordelia: Why don't you just wait here to find out if it worked, see if he phones you? Buffy: I can't risk him killing any more people. I better go. (starts out) Xander: Be careful. Buffy: (looks back) I will. (starts out again.) Kendra: Here... She grabs a stake from the table. Buffy stops and looks back. Kendra goes over to her and holds up the twisted but very sharp stake. Kendra: In case de curse does not succeed, dis is my lucky stake. I have killed many vampires wit it. I call it Mr. Pointy. Buffy: You named your stake? Kendra: (a bit embarrassed) Yes. Buffy: (smiles) Remind me to get you a stuffed animal. She accepts the stake from Kendra and looks it over. Buffy: Thanks. Kendra: (exhales) Watch your back. Buffy leaves the library. Cut to the cemetery. Buffy walks through, watching all around as she goes. Angelus walks out from behind a small mausoleum. Angelus: Hello, lover. I wasn't sure you'd come. Buffy: After your immolation-o-gram? Come on, I had to show. Shouldn't you be out destroying the world right now, pulling the sword out of Al Franken or whatever his name is? Angelus: There's time enough. I wanted to say goodbye first. You are the one thing in this dimension I will miss. Buffy: This is a beautiful moment we're having. Can we please fight? Angelus: I didn't come here to fight. Buffy: (raises her eyebrows) No? Angelus: Gosh, I was hoping we could get back together. What do you think? Do we have a shot? (gets a look from Buffy) Alright. We'll fight. He rushes at her. Cut to the library. Willow is sitting cross-legged on the table. Before her is the Orb of Thesulah within a sacred circle and surrounded by candles, bones and stones. Willow casts some stones. She looks at them and then gives Giles a nod. He opens a book and reads the Latin text. Giles: Quod perditum est, invenietur. Translation: What is lost, return. Cordelia swirls incense into the air while Xander watches. Willow: 'Not dead nor not of the living. Spirits of the interregnum I call...' Cut to the graveyard. Buffy ducks a punch from Angelus and comes up behind him. He spins around to block her return swing. He blocks another jab from her, and punches her in the face. He follows up with a left hook, and Buffy loses her balance and nearly falls down. Angelus grabs her by the back of her coat and throws her over onto the grounds. She rolls away and onto her back, and looks up at him. Buffy: Come on, Willow. She swiftly gets back to her feet to continue fighting. Cut to the library. Kendra guards the main doors. Willow: 'Let him know the pain of humanity, gods. Reach your wizened hands to me. Give me the sword...' Suddenly a vampire comes out from the stacks and attacks Xander from behind. The main doors fly open, and Kendra spins around to defend as two more vampires walk in. Giles points to the steps and yells at the girls as a fourth vampire appears from the stacks. Giles: Get out! Go! Willow and Cordelia make for the stairs. Kendra punches the first of the two vampires to reach her. The fourth one jumps over the mezzanine railing and lands on Giles' back, knocking him into the table. Cordelia and Willow run up the stairs and see Xander elbow the vampire on his back, knocking the demon into a bookcase. Having punched down the one vampire, Kendra grabs the other and shoves her into the wall. The first one gets up and rushes in to fight. Willow runs around behind the stacks to try to escape. Cordelia is frozen in fright. Giles grabs a vase from the table and smashes it over his attacker's head. Xander's assailant rushes him again, but Xander sidesteps him. He spins around, grabs Xander and shoves him into a bookcase. The one down below hops up onto the table, runs across it and leaps over the railing above. Willow sees him coming, and hides behind a bookcase. The vampire doesn't stop and just pushes the case over onto Willow. She falls to the floor, and the books and case land on top of her, knocking her out. The vampire Kendra is fighting ducks her swing. Xander's opponent grabs his arm, loops his own around it tightly and pulls down, breaking it. Xander yells out in pain. Kendra ducks a roundhouse kick from her enemy and blocks several swings. Xander grabs his tormenter's hair and smashes his head down on the railing. Below Giles ducks a swing and punches the vampire in the gut. Kendra lands two punches in the face of her attacker. Giles pounds his assailant on the back, but he just roars and spins around with a punch to Giles' face, knocking him out. Xander picks the dazed vampire up and shoves him into the other one going at Cordelia, knocking him down. Xander: Go! He grabs his broken arm and winces in pain. Cordelia screams and runs out through the stacks. Xander watches Kendra's opponent punch her in the face, but Kendra ducks and backs into her and comes up holding back the vampire's head. She plunges her stake into her heart, and she bursts into ashes. Xander winces again in pain. Willow lies prone under the fallen bookcase. Kendra looks around for her next target. She sees the one going for Giles, and rushes over to pull him off. She shoves him around to the floor. He tries to get up, but she just punches him back down. He tries again, and she grabs him and throws him through the window into Giles' office. Just then another one tackles her from the side. Cut to the cemetery. Buffy punches Angelus, but he takes it in stride. She swings again, but he grabs her arm and holds on tight. She swings with the other one, but he grabs it, too, and then pushes her away. Angelus: Jeez, is it me, or is your heart not in this? Buffy pulls out Kendra's stake. Angelus: Maybe I'll just go home, destroy the world. Buffy: Well, I think Mr. Pointy'll have something to say about that. Come on. Let's finish this. You and me. Angelus: (chuckles) Y-you never learn, do you? This wasn't about you. This was never about you. (chuckles) She realizes the trap was set for the others, and begins to run. Angelus: (smiles) And you fall for it every single time! Cut to the library. A vampire punches Kendra, and she stumbles, but regains her footing. Up in the stacks the other one comes at Xander and punches him in the face, knocking him out. Below Kendra is hit by a roundhouse kick, and falls. The library doors swing open, and Drusilla walks in. The vampire tries to kick Kendra, but she blocks it and swings out with her leg, tripping him, and gets back to her feet to face the other two, the one that came down from above, the other one now back out of Giles' office. The third one is up again also, and they close in on her, but before any more fighting can ensue Drusilla claps her hands. Drusilla: Enough. She bids Kendra come hither with her waving fingers. The other three just back off. Kendra faces Drusilla, ready to fight. Drusilla walks around her and goads her on. Kendra kicks at her, but Drusilla blocks her easily, as well as two follow-up swings. She punches Kendra and sends her spinning to the floor. Cut to a street. Buffy runs like mad to get to the school. Cut to the library. Drusilla ducks a kick from Kendra and grabs her by the arms. She swings her around and shoves her away. Kendra comes back at her again with a kick to the gut, and Drusilla doubles over for an instant. Kendra lunges at her, but Drusilla grabs her by the throat and forces her back against the counter, gripping hard and choking her. Drusilla: Look at me, Dearie. She waves two extended fingers before Kendra's eyes and begins to hypnotize her. Drusilla: Be... in my eyes. Be... in me. She lets go, and Kendra is completely under her spell. She sways back and forth a bit, and Kendra follows her every move to stay in contact with her eyes. Drusilla backs away slightly, lowering her arms and never losing eye contact. Cut to the park. Buffy races through, leaping a bench as she runs. Cut to the library. Kendra continues to sway with Drusilla. Drusilla extends out the fingers of her right hand at her side. She smiles evilly as she swings her hand up and slices Kendra's neck with her sharp nails. Kendra grabs at her neck as it begins to bleed heavily, and collapses to the floor. Drusilla watches her fall, and turns to look down at her. Drusilla: Night-night. She kisses the air above her and turns to her accomplices. Drusilla: Let's get what we came for, dears. Two of them grab an unconscious Giles by the arms and drag him from the library. Drusilla and the third vampire follow them out. Cut outside. Buffy runs across the school grounds. Cut into the halls. Buffy throws open the door and rushes in. As she rounds a corner the scene slows. Buffy runs down the hall in slow motion as Whistler narrates over the scene. Whistler: Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. Buffy barges into the library and stops. Whistler: No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. She looks around at the damage, and then sees Kendra lying on the floor. She runs to her, still in slow motion, and skids down next to her on her knees. She sees that she's gone, and takes her hand. Whistler: So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are. Buffy reaches up to Kendra's face with her other hand and strokes it gently. Behind her a police officer raises his gun at her. Officer: Freeze! Buffy looks back at him, seemingly caught red-handed. Whistler: You'll see what I mean. To Be Continued...

Plan: A: Kendra's Watcher; Q: Who sends Kendra back to Sunnydale? A: a dark power; Q: What is rising? A: Acathla; Q: What is the name of the petrified demon that Angelus, Spike, and Drusilla have found? A: a ritual; Q: What will allow Acathla to wake up and suck every living thing into hell? Summary: Kendra's Watcher sends her back to Sunnydale because a dark power is rising: Angelus, Spike, and Drusilla have found a petrified demon called Acathla and plans to perform a ritual that will allow Acathla to wake up and suck every living thing on the planet into hell.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Previously on Veronica Mars... Veronica runs towards the site where the bus drove off the cliff in 201 Normal Is the Watchword. GIA: It just went straight off the cliff. They're all dead. Duncan holds Veronica as she looks down at the wreckage. Cut to the Presidential Suite at the Neptune Grand Hotel from 203 Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang. VERONICA: The bus crash. It was meant for me. Cut to Alicia, waving off Wallace in 204 Green-Eyed Monster. She sees Nathan Woods drive by. ALICIA: [offscreen] He caught me completely off guard. Cut to Alicia in Keith's office. ALICIA: We dated almost twenty years ago and he was crazy. Cut to Wallace taking a phone call. WALLACE: Veronica, are you in immediate life-threatening danger? VERONICA: At this precise moment, no. Wallace takes a phone call. WALLACE: If she needs me, I'm gonna come through, just like she would for me. JACKIE: Where I'm from, the girl you make out with is the one you do favours for. Nathan approaches Wallace. WALLACE: Who are you? NATHAN: I'm your father. End previously. INT - FENNEL RESIDENCE - DAY. Wallace enters the house and sees Alicia taking some food out of the kitchen. He sits down on a chair in the dining area, his face thoughtful. Alicia sees him and calls out from the kitchen. ALICIA: I was just gonna come outside to grab you. She grabs a dish and brings it into the dining area. ALICIA: Food is ready. WALLACE: I'm not hungry, mama. Alicia looks over at him. WALLACE: I just met somebody out in the driveway. ALICIA: Wallace, what's wrong? WALLACE: A guy from Chicago. He said he knew you. Name Nathan Woods ring a bell? ALICIA: Oh Wallace. WALLACE: Is it true? Wallace stands. Alicia approaches him ALICIA: Baby... WALLACE: No, just tell me if it's true! ALICIA: You were never supposed to see that man. Is he still here? Alicia goes to look outside but pauses when she reaches Wallace. WALLACE: That man? You gotta be kidding. Why don't you just call him what he really is? So, who we put in the ground back in Cleveland? Who-who was it I cried for all those months? ALICIA: That was your father. WALLACE: Oh yeah? 'Cos I don't see how that works, having two fathers! Wallace, angry, moves away and into the living room, sitting on the couch. Alicia follows him and sits on the coffee table in front of him. She takes a deep breath. ALICIA: Nathan Woods and I got married when I was twenty-one years old. He was-- WALLACE: A narcotics detective, yeah, he told me all that stuff already. ALICIA: No, Wallace, that's how he started out but then he went undercover on some case that he said would make his career and soon he got so deep into it, he had me fooled, unless coming home high was part of the job, unless stashing heroin and guns under my bed was all in the line of duty? She moves around to sit next to him on the couch, putting her arm around him. ALICIA: I hate that you had to find out like this. But if you are asking me who is your real father, that's Hank Fennel. Alicia gets up and goes to a desk in the room, bending down to search through a filing drawer. Wallace stands to see what she is doing. WALLACE: What are you doing? ALICIA: I wanted to show you your birth certificate that... She can't find it and she realises that Keith took it. ALICIA: I know where it went. She slams the drawer shut, angry. She returns to stand in front of her son. ALICIA: You know that the day Hank Fennel asked me to marry him was the day that he signed his name on that piece of paper calling you his son and that is who your father was. And that's who he still is. Wallace nods and Alicia pulls him into a hug. Wallace still looks perturbed. INT - NEPTUNE HIGH SCHOOL (NHS), CLASSROOM - DAY. Mr Wu erases the words "Homecoming Dance" from the board. "Friday night. Be there" can still be seen. There is chatter behind him and a student shoots some rubbish into a bin, basketball style, high-fiving another on his success on his way back to his seat. Wallace is sitting at his desk, in deep thought. Veronica, chirpy, enters the room and slides into the desk next to him. She looks at his apparent depression quizzically VERONICA: Can I guess? You got a sweet love hangover and you don't need no cure? Veronica is pleased with herself and grins. Wallace just looks at her, then shakes his head, not in the moment. MR WU: Can I have your attention, please? Mr Wu faces the class, leaning back against his desk.. MR WU: As you know, Homecoming season is upon us. VERONICA: [quietly] Much like the plague. MR WU: Each homeroom will nominate one boy and one girl. The top five vote-getters from each class will comprise the royalty court. Homecoming king and queen will be announced at this Friday's dance. The floor is open for nominations. Anyone? Throughout Mr Wu's announcement, Veronica glances at Wallace and sees his mood. Wallace sinks down in his seat. MR WU: Anyone? Veronica leans over to whisper at Wallace. VERONICA: You know, sometimes when I'm feeling... MR WU: Anyone? VERONICA: ...I don't know, glum? I like to get a little Pirate love. She stretches up her hand. MR WU: Veronica. VERONICA: [brightly] I'd like to nominate Wallace Fennel. There's a whoo-hoo in the class as Wallace looks at Veronica in disbelief. She is grinning ear to ear. Some of the other students shout words of support. Wallace is not happy. INT - NHS, CLASSROOM - DAY. In Mrs Murphy's room, the same process is taking place. Corny, sitting behind Logan who in turn is sitting behind Jackie, is holding up his hand. MRS MURPHY: Yes, Douglas? CORNY: I'd like to nominate Veronica Mars. In the next row are Ashley Banks, with Mandy in front of her. Their reactions to the nomination are very different. ASHLEY: [snidely] Like, ironically? CORNY: Yeah! She's bad-ass, smoking hot and overall nice to come home to. LOGAN: Hmm. Zippy the Pinhead with a smashing idea. Corny glares at Logan but some in the class giggle. ASHLEY: My ass would make a better Homecoming queen. Jackie is particularly amused by that. MANDY: We should nominate Veronica. She deserves it. Remember when she helped me find my dog? Jackie rolls her eyes. MANDY: She was totally nice to me even though we barely knew each other. Logan is becoming increasingly entertained by Mandy's sappiness. MANDY: Plus she found Polly the parrot last year. LOGAN: [in breathless imitation] Veronica Mars! Saving the world one pointless act at a time. MANDY: [to Jackie] Veronica's so good at helping people. If you ever need any help, you should ask her. Jackie snorts and laughs, unable to believe Mandy's hero-worship. She looks back at Logan and they share a smile. EXT - NHS, LUNCH AREA - DAY. Wallace is sitting at a table by himself, looking down, deep in his own thoughts. Jackie and another girl are approaching the table, talking as they walk towards him. JACKIE: Ah, wa-wa-wait. Let me get this straight. No alcohol, no dimly lit corners, and I'm not allowed to freak, grind and/or mosh. Ah-ah. What's the allure of Homecoming again? Besides the chance to wear pink taffeta and cheek shimmer. CORA: It's really all about the after party. The dance itself is more like a means to an end. JACKIE: Cora, I'm kidding, I want it all - the corsage, the photos under the balloon arch, the clandestine love-in with my age appropriate date... She finally notices that Wallace's mind is elsewhere. JACKIE: ...with the focusing problem. Hey! She snaps her fingers in his face. JACKIE: Dream Weaver! She gives a little wave. Wallace looks up at her and beyond her sees Veronica sit down at another table. WALLACE: Yeah, I'll be right back. Gotta go talk to Veronica for a minute. Wallace gets up with his lunch bag and heads over to Veronica. Jackie, mouth open, can't believe it. CORA: I saw the most fantastic dress at Miu-Miu last weekend. It was like made for you. So perfect. Jackie ignores Cora as she glares at Wallace and Veronica. VERONICA: So your biological dad is like some sort of Donnie Brasco renegade cop? So, what's your bio dad like? Wallace shushes her and looks around furtively. WALLACE: I don't know. He seems... [searching for words and failing] ...whatever. Could you just keep this to yourself? I just need to figure things out before-- They both look up as Jackie approaches the table, glaring at Wallace. JACKIE: [false jollity] What? Are you guys still planning my surprise party? VERONICA: Hi, Jackie. JACKIE: Bye, Veronica. Jackie gives Wallace a dirty look and storms off. Veronica is appalled, but recognises the jealously. Wallace gazes after her. WALLACE: I better go take care of that. Veronica gives him a sympathetic look as he goes. INT - MARS INVESTIGATIONS (MI) - DAY. Veronica enters the office to the sight of Keith's election material spread all over. VERONICA: You are aware that blanketing the electorate is like a figure of speech. Keith is in his office. He looks up and smiles at Veronica, leaning against the doorway to his office. Veronica's nose wrinkles. VERONICA: What's that smell? Keith collects some files from his desk and heads into the main office. KEITH: A buddy of mine in Sanitation called. One of his crews found those in a dumpster downtown. VERONICA: At least Lamb has the sense not to use the dumpster behind the sheriff's department. Veronica starts to flick through some of the files stacked on her desk as Keith sinks down into her chair. KEITH: Aaahhh. Look, Veronica. Keith leans back happily, putting his feet up on the desk. KEITH: Your father's campaign is riding on a gravy train with biscuit wheels. Woody's numbers guys just called to say I've got a twelve point lead. I don't need to roll around in the mud with Lamb. VERONICA: In that case it sounds like you don't need a photographer from the Neptune Navigator who knows how to shoot your good side. Veronica frames him with her hands. KEITH: Got nothin' but good sides, baby. Veronica smiles at him, indulgently. INT - MADAME SOPHIE'S - DAY. Through a reflection, it can be seen that Jackie is having a reading by a woman holding her palms above Jackie's. MADAME SOPHIE: Your grandma wants me to remind you that you're a risk taker, with an if-it-feels-good-do-it approach to love. You're super-charged, you're wired, you're ready for action. JACKIE: That lady ought to know. She was married four times. Cut to a little later as Madame Sophie is processing payment. On the counter is a board advertising "Answers from Angels with Madame Sophie," shown on Neptune local access television, channel 11. On the wall are the paraphernalia of a psychic - a large hand, posters and cards, shelves of oils, beeswax and the like. There is a ping on the cash till. Madame Sophie walks back to Jackie waiting at the front of the counter. MADAME SOPHIE: I'm sorry, child, this card's been declined. She hands it back to Jackie who adopts a thoughtful smile. INT - NHS, GIRLS' BATHROOM - DAY. Veronica reaches into her bag for lip balm and starts to apply it. Jackie enters from behind her. She stops and Veronica sees her in the mirror. After a brief pause, Veronica holds out her lip balm to the mirror. VERONICA: Lip balm? It's a surge of lip-quenching fruit flavour. JACKIE: Wallace said I would find you here. I need to ask you something. She pauses as two girls leave the bathroom. JACKIE: I'm in some trouble. I didn't know who else to go to. Wallace said that you might help me. Veronica can hardly believe what she is hearing and turns to face Jackie, slightly raising an eyebrow. Opening credits. INT - NHS, GIRLS' BATHROOM - CONTINUING. JACKIE: Someone stole my credit card and maxed it out. VERONICA: So call the credit card company. They'll erase the charges. JACKIE: I've done that. It's not the bill I'm worried about. VERONICA: What are you worried about? JACKIE: My friend, Cora, borrows my stuff all the time. It's like she doesn't have clothes of her own and...well, I noticed my card was missing after I went shopping with her, then I found it in my car like someone had deliberately put it back. I don't want to just accuse her. VERONICA: So you want me to prove she did it? JACKIE: No, I want you to prove that she didn't. She's the only friend that I have here. I printed a list of the charges. Jackie pulls a list from her bag and passes it to her, going to stand next to her as she reads it. VERONICA: A hundred dollars for lip enhancer at Estee Lauder, twelve hundred dollars for a leather jacket at Nordstrom, five hundred dollars on vanilla scented candles at Tricky Wicks? JACKIE: Yeah, she's a full time resident at the Galleria. I think she hit every store in the mall. VERONICA: Except for Unicornucopia. Hmm. On the list, there are dates, shop names and reference numbers (not replicated here) and purchase details: 10/14/2005 Sacks Dept: 3423 $299.36 Clothing. 10/13/2005 Conoshow Stor: 3423 $55.32 Gasoline. 10/10/2005 Consolidated Elemental Industries $93.15 10/05/2005 Sacks Dept: 3423 $259.63 Clothing 11/01/2005 iTunes Music Store - Online $26.98 Black Eyed Peas - Elephunk. She points to the entry from Consolidated Elemental Industries VERONICA: Any idea what this is? JACKIE: No. So if you were going to help me, where would you start? VERONICA: With the obvious. I'd figure out if Cora had any of the things on the list. Veronica grabs her bag and exits. INT - MI - DAY. Alicia enters, dressed in a suit. Keith smiles and walks forward to meet her. ALICIA: I'm here to pick up my papers. I'm talking about the personal documents that you stole from my house. KEITH: I didn't steal, Alicia. ALICIA: Borrowed without my knowledge, accidentally dropped into your briefcase, I don't care what you're calling it. I just want them back. Keith moves into his office and Alicia follows him. He hands her the file he took from the Fennel house in 204 Green-Eyed Monster. KEITH: Why didn't you just tell me your ex-husband was a cop? ALICIA: I was trying to protect my son. I was young and scared, and Nathan Woods was scary, violent and high. KEITH: I don't doubt that what you did was for the best. I'm just suggesting it might have been wise to let Wallace know. ALICIA: YOU are giving me parenting advice? Keith bristles. KEITH: What is that supposed to mean? ALICIA: That means that I protected Wallace's childhood, I didn't sell it out. I will not invite chaos into my house. ALICIA: Oh, come on Alicia, you invited chaos. All you did was postpone it. Alicia turns and storms out. INT - SAC-N-PAC - NIGHT. Nathan Woods enters the store, past various prices announcements: bags of savoury snacks "Priced 2 Go 99¢", cards for $2.99, "Bagels 2 dozen $5.10," "Paper products - scented bathroom tissues 12-Packs $2.54, triple-ply facial tissues - three for $1.30," "Lotto tickets." The Sac-N-Pac weekly specials include assorted MicroBrews ("Buy 6 Get 1 Free"), dog food and ice cream. He looks around. Wallace is in the store, stacking shelves. He sees Nathan. He stares at him across the store for a moment, but then ignores him and carries on working. As he stacks a shelf, Wallace starts to sing. WALLACE: [singing] Folks say Papa was never much on thinking. Spent most of his time chasing women and drinking. Mama, I'm depending on you to tell me the truth. Mama looked up with a tear in her eye and said, son Papa was a rolling stone. Wherever he laid his hat was his home And when he died, all he left us was alone. As he sings, Wallace looks at Nathan, accusing. Nathan slowly moves closer to him, a stack of letters in his hands, held together by a rubber band. NATHAN: You talked with your moms about me, huh? Wallace gives him a doleful look. NATHAN: Don't worry, I'm not here to defend myself. Wallace stops work and faces him. NATHAN: Truth is, I-I barely remember those days. So how can I blame her for running out on me. WALLACE: So why are you here? What brought you to Neptune? You've had almost eighteen years to track me down. NATHAN: You mean, she never told you then? WALLACE: Never told me what? NATHAN: I did try. For years, Wallace. It drove me crazy to think my son would grow up a stranger. Alicia's mom wouldn't tell me where she'd gone. She did promise to pass along these. He hands Wallace the stack of letters. The top one is addressed to Wallace Woods, 24x3 Pinetop Lane, Chicago, Il 60613. The return address is N Woods, 15 Tanglewood, Chicago, Il 60613. The letter is postmarked Chicago, May 1st, 2000. On the letter, and on another that can be seen in a longer envelope, are written the words "return to sender." NATHAN: Your grandma always liked me, I guess. If it weren't for her, I never would have known Alicia was pregnant. Wallace removes the rubber band and starts to shuffle through the letters. They are all similarly addressed and marked. WALLACE: Mom says she gave you a choice. She said your job or being a father. NATHAN: If she would have given me that choice, I would have chose you. INT - NHS, CLASSROOM - DAY. A circular loudspeaker sits high on the wall of the classroom. On one side of it right edge of the Flanders Fields Panoramic Poster Mural with few words of John McCrae's "In Flanders Fields" visible - "ago," "glow," "we lie." (We are the Dead. Short days ago We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, Loved and were loved, and now we lie In Flanders fields.) On the other side is part of a picture of the statue of Lincoln at Lincoln's Memorial. Under that is a small "We'll never forget" bus sticker. From the intercom loudspeaker, the camera pans down past a pair of pictures, each containing cigarette card-sized portraits of four presidents, a poster saying "Learn how laws are created," another saying "Learn how our government really works". Under the presidents is a poster about a tennis doubles tournament and on the board on the left of it is a world map. Mr Wu is busy writing at his desk, the contents of which include a small bust of Lincoln. An announcement is being made over the intercom as the students chatter. INTERCOM: The votes have been tallied and the nominees for king are: Duncan Kane, Mark Fraser, Steve Vargo, Hank Diddon and... Veronica whispers along with the announcer. INTERCOM/VERONICA: Wallace Fennel. Wallace throws up his pen amidst various shouts of encouragement. He looks over at Veronica who exaggerates a gasp. He leans over towards her. WALLACE: How many kneecaps did you break to make that happen? VERONICA: Only, like, four. The people have spoken, my friend. She punches him in the chest and he grins as he turns back into his seat. INT - NHS, CLASSROOM - CONTINUING. The announcement continues in Mrs Murphy's class. On the wall is a poster for Kafka's "The Castle," with a line from the book - "It was late in the evening when K arrived. The village was deep in snow. The castle hill was hidden, veiled in mist and darkness." On the top of a large cupboard, smaller pictures are leaned against the wall. Mrs Murphy is standing at the front of the class, listening to the announcement. INTERCOM: Lucy Franks, Josie Shelman, Emma Harris... EMMA: [offscreen, squealing] I don't believe it! Jackie is bored but Mandy is waiting is listening in nervous anticipation. INTERCOM: Liz Levine, Kate Rakes. Mandy's disappointed. Jackie smirks at her. Logan looks over in faux-sympathy. LOGAN: Mmm. Well, there's always winter carnival. He gasps. LOGAN: Veronica can be a ice princess! Jackie gasps too, leaning back to look at Logan. JACKIE: Can we skate on her? Logan smirks and is smarmy. LOGAN: I didn't hear your name called. Seems like a bit of an oversight. Jackie giggles. INT - NHS, HALLWAY - DAY. Veronica walks slowly down the hall, reading Cora Briggs's class schedule as she goes. She has K Rogers, Huffman, N. Kusak, A Zinn, I Price, J More, B Mokky and I Roger for English, Theatre Arts, World Lit, Advisory, Calculus, Civics, Science and Computer Technology respectively. She looks out over the hallway and into the journalism classroom as she passes the open door. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Talk about fashion police. I'm on a stake-out for a pair of enhanced lips, a fifty dollar push-up bra, a vintage purse and... She looks up as Cora approaches the journalism classroom. She's wearing a leather jacket. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Blingo. Why buy the cow when you can score a twelve hundred dollar calfskin jacket on your friend's credit card? Veronica deliberately walks into Cora. VERONICA: Oops, ah, I'm so sorry. Veronica makes a great show of being impressed by Cora's jacket. VERONICA: Oh my god. I love this. You have amazing taste, Cora. CORA: [surprised] You-you know who I am? VERONICA: Eighth grade badminton partner? You never forget someone you've been in the foxhole with. Cora gives a bemused grin. CORA: I guess not. Anyway, thanks. I'm just a savvy shopper. VERONICA: Where'd you get this? CORA: It's a secret. Okay, outlet mall, outside of Chatsworth. I'm going later to get my Homecoming dress. VERONICA: Can I come? Cora is taken aback, but not unpleasantly so. VERONICA: We can car pool, save a little money on gas. CORA: That's cool. VERONICA: I'll call you. They smile and nod and Cora heads into journalism class. Veronica goes to another classroom. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Though I haven't really been asked to Homecoming yet, have I? She shuts the door with an amused frown. EXT - NHS, CAR PARK - DAY. Duncan paces beside a car, working up his courage and his patter. He steels himself with a determined nod and races out from the side of the car, to catch Logan. DUNCAN: [faux-casual] So I was thinking. You're an emancipated minor, I'm an emancipated minor. Maybe we should get together Thursday night. Chug cough syrup, mug some old ladies... LOGAN: Oh, golly, I don't know. I was thinking about staying home, making a hope quilt for the lonely. DUNCAN: A little "Hot Shots"? Golf tourney? A little room service? Logan lets himself be persuaded. LOGAN: Ah, you're on. Duncan does a mixed chuckle/sigh of relief as Logan forms the sort of fist that guys do when they tap them in camaraderie. They move apart, but Logan looks back at Duncan, grateful they they've moved forward. Behind him, Veronica and Jackie walk past the school bus. JACKIE: So she's gotta be the thief, right? VERONICA: Well, let me just double-check before you accuse her of anything but she'd have to be pretty thick to wear stolen merchandise to school. JACKIE: Well the girl's sweet but she's not the brightest bulb on the bush. They reach Jackie's car and she puts her books in the back. VERONICA: Well, I should have a definitive answer for you by tomorrow. Jackie nods. INT - TOWN HALL - DAY. The Neptune League of Women Voters, incorporated in 1935, are hosting a debate between Lamb and Keith. A female moderator, albeit her name will prove to be Adam Levine (which is a shout-out to one of the MI.netters), and the reporter from 202 Driver Ed, stands between the two men. All three stand behind small podiums. Lamb is in full flow. LAMB: You know what else bugs me? Gang violence bugs me. Illegal immigration bugs me. Drug trafficking bugs me. Street racing bugs me. But come election day, I am confident that the voters of Balboa County will do what is best and put "The Exterminator" back in office. There is a smattering of polite applause. Veronica is at the back of the room, setting her camera. LEVINE: Next question to you, Mr Mars. Uh, we're all familiar with your role in the Lilly Kane murder case. Does the nature of that crime or the conditions of your recall, colour your feelings for Neptune? KEITH: I love Neptune. I wouldn't be running if I didn't but...what does, to borrow a slogan, bug me are the subtle changes in Neptune over the last few months. LAMB: [interjecting] You mean violent crime dropping eleven percent? KEITH: I'm talking about the growing sense of resentment, of-of friction, of polarisation within our community. The sentiment is shared and there is spontaneous applause. Veronica smirks and brings the camera up to her eye. LEVINE: Well, nothing has been more divisive than the bus crash and many feel that you were quick in attributing the accident to driver error, Sheriff. LAMB: On the subject of the bus crash, it's just come to light that back in '89 then Deputy Mars pulled Ed Doyle over for driving him under the influence. He had simply decided to follow him home rather than follow procedure. Had a DUI appeared on his record, he would have never been hired by the school district. This has the desired affect as the audience reacts in shock, as does Keith. LEVINE: Mr Mars. Your response? KEITH: I'm sorry, I'm not-I'm not familiar with... LAMB: Well, it's okay, I have a copy of your patrol log if you need to jog your memory. Keith is silenced. Veronica glares at Lamb in high dudgeon. INT - BRIGGS RESIDENCE - DAY. Veronica follows Cora down a hallway, holding out her shirt which is coffee stained. VERONICA: I have the only car left in America without a cup holder so now I end up with a caramel latté Rorschach test all over my blouse. Thanks for letting me borrow something of yours. They go into Cora's room, stopping in front of her closet. CORA: No problem. Here you go. Veronica slides open the door and starts examining the clothes. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Must find stolen goods. CORA: You know the mall's in Chatsworth. No one worth knowing's gonna see you. Veronica spots a zipped up clothes cover and heads for it. CORA: Oh, no, not that one. There's nothing that you'd wanna see in there. It's just-- VERONICA: I love looking through your clothes. It's like the fashion equivalent of a skin mag. Veronica quickly unzips it. CORA: Oh, no, seriously, I don't-- Inside is a garish chicken costume. Veronica reaches in and pulls out the head. Cora is horribly embarrassed. CORA: Oh, yeah. I so did not want you to see that. VERONICA: Isn't this-- CORA: The Oh Boyo Pollo Chicken. Yep. You know, if anyone finds out about this, I'm afraid I'll have to kill you. VERONICA: If I tell anyone, I won't blame you. Veronica hands Cora the head and turns back to glance at the clothes again. She finds and pulls out a shirt. VERONICA: Oh. She shows it to Cora, indicating that it will do. EXT - BRIGGS RESIDENCE - DAY. The LeBaron pulls outside the house. There's a "Mars for Sheriff" sticker in the bottom nearside of the windscreen. Veronica applies the parking brake. CORA: Your dress is perfect, Duncan's gonna love it. Cora laughs and gets out of the car. VERONICA: Thanks. Outlet therapy is considerably better than retail therapy. Cora shuts the passenger door and gathers her things from the back seat. CORA: Thanks for driving. VERONICA: Bye. Cora heads for her modest, non-09er house. Veronica watches her and then turns off the engine. She pulls out her Sidekick and punches in a number. VERONICA: Oh Boyo Pollo? May I speak with the manager please? Hi, this is Mae Hadwell, I'm the Vocational Ed Co-ordinator at Neptune High. I need to verify some work hours for Cora Briggs. She pauses as she listens to the answer. She nods into the phone. VERONICA: She worked Sunday as well? [pause] Until what time? She frowns on hearing the response. VERONICA: I see. Thank you. With a puzzled look and a sigh, she punches in another number. VERONICA: Jackie, it's Veronica. There's no way Cora could have stolen your card. We're back to square one. INT - NEPTUNE GRAND HOTEL, PRESIDENTIAL SUITE - NIGHT. The covers are lifted from two plates of hamburgers, onion rings, pickles and salad. Veronica and Duncan are on the couch, Veronica lying down into one corner and Duncan sitting up in anticipation. Duncan rubs his hands together. DUNCAN: Thanks, Carl CARL: Mmm hmm. Carl, the room service waiter puts the lids on his trolley and leaves. Veronica sits up to join Duncan. VERONICA: It's weird that you live here. I don't want you going all Howard Hughes-y on me. Veronica puts her arm around Duncan's neck and kisses his cheek. DUNCAN: I am not a shut-in. He holds up his right hand, in which her hand is entwined. He wiggles his fingers. DUNCAN: These nails? Neatly trimmed. Though, now that you mention it, I have started bottling my own urine. VERONICA: Ew. They both laugh as Veronica falls back onto the couch, her arm still around Duncan, bringing him down on top of her. He nuzzles her neck as she wraps her other arm around him. DUNCAN: Hey, what do you say we invite some people over here for an after party? He kisses her neck and rests his hand on her ribcage just below her unusually ample bosom. VERONICA: After party? After what? He lifts his head and looks down on her, confused. DUNCAN: The Homecoming dance? The thing after the big game? VERONICA: Oh. She kisses him. VERONICA: Tell me more of this thing you call "Homecoming." Duncan finally gets it and rests his forehead on her cheek. DUNCAN: I haven't asked you yet. VERONICA: Mmm-mmm. DUNCAN: I'm such a dope. He returns to nuzzling her neck. DUNCAN: Of course I want you to go with me. You're my woman. Veronica claps and jerks up from under him. VERONICA: See? Was that so hard? They sit up, Veronica still with both arms around his neck as she sits in his lap. Duncan rubs her back. VERONICA: Okay, I'll be needing an orchid wristlet, preferably in the fuchsia family, a Rolls Royce limo...and some Kane Software stationery. Duncan frowns and laughs. DUNCAN: Seriously? Stationery? What for? VERONICA: [Sam Spade impression] You're here for your looks. Why don't you leave the heavy thinking to me, sugarpants. She slides her legs off his lap and punches him in the stomach before leaning forward to the food. VERONICA: Now go make yourself pretty. They laugh. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - DAY. Veronica is reading the Neptune Register, dated Monday, October 24th. The headline is "Sheriff's Race Heats Up." There's a picture of Keith, Lamb and the moderator on stage, under which part of the caption can be read "...and Sheriff Lamb square off at a town hall debate." The photographers name can't be made out but it is not Veronica. There are also a couple of thumbnail pictures of Keith and Lamb. The report reads: Mars drops early lead against Sheriff Don Lamb as election nears. By Rachel Wall-Polin (another MI.netter shout-out). Associated Press. After surrendering an early lead, former Sheriff Keith Mars is now in a statistical dead heat with the incumbent, Sheriff Don Lamb. Following an embarrassing revelation at a scheduled debate hosted by the Neptune League of Women Voters, Mrs. Mars is in no position to falter. Touting his past experience as a competent and successful sheriff, Mars had a 17-point lead over his competitor, Sheriff Lamb. The downfall of Mars' significant lead was the very asset he was relying on, his past. During this debate, moderator Adam Levine posed a question for Sheriff Lamb in regards to the tragic Neptune High school bus crash. Without answering Levine's question, Lamb brought to light ... .of Mars' failure to issue a DUI to Ed Doyle on a traffic stop. Mr Mars drove the intoxicated suspect home rather than arrest him and file charges for that infraction, a requirement in the Balboa Sheriff's Department rules of conduct. The poll, conducted after News 5 broadcast of the inflammatory statements by Lamb, was of a 200 person sampling throughout Balboa County. Mr and Mrs Manning pointed guilt towards Keith Mars, suggesting that had he stopped Doyle, their child would not be in a vegetative state. "This proves that Ed Doyle was never fit to transport children, of any age, and furthers my suspicious that he crashed the bus intentionally," Mrs. Manning quoted from the bedside of her comatose daughter, Meg. "A full and thorough investigation must be pursued by Sheriff Lamb. I only trust that he can bring light to this ugly and dark stain covering Neptune," Mr Manning said, adding, "If he manages to do so, he's got my vote." Mr. Mars refused to comment on the allegation that Sheriff Lamb brought to light during their debate, citing lack of substantial evidence and inability to recall if the encounter ever did occur. The Neptune Register is currently in the process of obtaining records from the Sheriff's Department but so far have been unable to due to stonewalling. Balboa residents have taken a keen interest in this heated battle, since the race for Neptune Board Supervisor, a long winded label for mayor, is going uncontested, leaving Woody Goodman.... There's a second story by Diane Ruggiero under the headline "Troops target danger region" and the sub-heading "Renewed offensive begins in Iraq." A full report follows in a language other than English. Keith comes out of his bedroom, adjusting his tie. Veronica starts to read out loud. VERONICA: "After surrendering an early lead, former Sheriff Keith Mars is now in a statistical dead heat with the incumbent..." What do your number guys have to say about that? Keith, who has come to stand by her shoulder, sighs but does not respond. Instead, spots something in front of her than intrigues him. He reaches forward and picks up a glass or plastic rectangular cube encasing a large beetle. KEITH: Cri-me-ny. What kind of bug is that? Veronica puts down the paper and grabs it from him. VERONICA: You worry about the election, I'll worry about my bio project. She kisses him and turns away. Keith gives her a suspicious look. INT - FENNEL RESIDENCE - DAY. Alicia comes out into the dining area, tying the belt of her robe and yawning. Wallace is in the kitchen. He turns to look at her. He has the stack of letters Nathan in his hands. She stands by the door and stretches up her arms. ALICIA: What are those? WALLACE: Don't you know? It's looks an awful lot like your handwriting. He holds them out, staring at them. WALLACE:"Return to sender." Hmm. Wallace strips off the rubber band. Alicia starts to walk slowly towards him. WALLACE: Maybe we should just see what Dad has to say. It's better late than never, hm? She tries to snatch the letters from him and they tussle for a moment before the letters fall on the floor. ALICIA: Here, Wallace! She cries out as they fall. WALLACE: What were you thinking, Mom? Alicia scrambles down to pick up the letters.. WALLACE: That he was just so strung out that he'd OD and just-just forget about me? Having collected the letters, she rises, angry. ALICIA: I'm still you mother and I told you to stay away from him and I expect you to listen to me. WALLACE: You told me you gave him a choice. You lied. Wallace walks out of the kitchen. Alicia puts the letters on the counter and follows him as far as the door to the dining area, deeply concerned. INT - NHS, HALLWAY - DAY. Veronica is at her locker. Wallace leans against the lockers next to her. WALLACE: She made my dad out to be some kind of a psychopath, just to cover her tracks. If he's so nuts, how did he manage to stick with the Chicago PD all these years? VERONICA: And if he was a cop, then how did it take him all these years just to track you down. Your mom is right, Wallace. He had his chance and he passed it up. Take it from someone who knows. She slams her locker shut. VERONICA: The one who sticks with you is the one who cares. Veronica walks off, leaving Wallace staring after her. INT - SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT - DAY. The encased beetle is dropped into a hand from its tissue lined small black box. The hand is that of Lamb who gazes at it as he throws the box to the floor. One of his election posters is on the wall behind him, saying "Re-elect Sheriff Lamb. Tough on Crime." He picks up a note, on Kane Software headed paper. (Kane Software appear to have changed their address from 10996 Somewhere to 23 Emperior Court, Neptune CA 90909 PH 555-0123 Fax 555-0124.) Printed on the note in capital letters is "Dear Exterminator, Knock 'em dead on election day." Lamb chortles. Sacks enters his office. SACKS: Sorry to interrupt. LAMB: Check this out. Jake Kane sent a vote of support all the way from Aspen. "Dear Exterminator, Knock 'em dead on election day." SACKS: Got those guys in interrogation. LAMB: They the two goons you picked up in Cliffside? SACKS: Yeah. You're not gonna believe the story they're trying to sell. Sacks exits the office and then turns and waits for Lamb, who is still looking at his bug. He places it on his desk. EXT - JAMES STREET - DAY. The LeBaron drives down a wide street with shops on either side, the ocean behind. Veronica holds a card in her hand, searching the shops and restaurants. She passes Tony's, a restaurant or wine bar judging for the glasses that decorate the sign. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Consolidated Elemental Industries... She passes a record shop called "Cow," the window of which is covered in posters. VERONICA VOICEOVER: ...5003 James. The first place where someone used Jackie's card. She passes 5007 and slows, seeing the neon outlined palm in the window of 5003. Sited next to Georgi's Express Subs, Madame Sophie's name is written in red in the window, under the palm and between two posters for "Answers from Angels." The board over the shop reads "Psychic. Tarot Palm Crystal Readings." Next to the door to the premises is a potted palm. Veronica pulls in to park in front of the store, which is situated opposite somebody's Chicken Kitchen. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Yeah, when I think of Elemental Industries, I think of palm readings. INT - MADAME SOPHIE'S - DAY. Veronica pushes back the hangings that cover the door and enters the shop. Her entrance has activated a bell. MADAME SOPHIE: [offscreen] I'll be out in a minute! Veronica looks around the empty shop. A table of lit large candles attracts her attention. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Vanilla-scented candles. She picks up one of the unlit ones and smells it. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Five hundred dollars' worth, perhaps? Purchased at... She looks on the bottom. VERONICA: Tricky Wicks. She casts a glance towards the back of the shop and then makes to exit. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - DAY. Jackie is sitting on the floor, leaning against Veronica's bed. Backup is lying next to her with his head resting on her leg. She is stroking his neck and he's one contented puppy. Veronica is lying on her bed, above Jackie. VERONICA: It just doesn't make much sense. How would she have gotten your card? Although I guess it's possible that Cora and the psychic were in this together. JACKIE: I know how Madame Sophie got the card. She got it from me. VERONICA: You see a psychic? JACKIE: My grandma died two years ago, and even a person pretending to be Grandma telling me everything's going to be all right gives me comfort. Jackie puts her finger to her lips. JACKIE: Shh. It's my secret shame. I'm sure you've got one. VERONICA: Remember Mamma-Max? Jackie laughs. JACKIE: The stuff from the infomercial, the cream that you rub on your chest? VERONICA: Mm-hm. In my defense, I was a freshman. JACKIE: I've got it. I know how to get even: I'm going on her show. VERONICA: She has a show? INT - COOK RESIDENCE - DAY. A Tivo now playing list is on a screen. There's a green light for "Answers from Angels" on Friday 10/21, "Celebrity Boners and Gaffes" Wed 10/19, and "Sunset and Vaughn" Sunday 10/16. There's a yellow light next to "Oh, Heavenly Barn" Friday 10/14, "Room of Evidence" Friday 10/14, "Cupid" Wednesday 10/12, and "All the Fixin's" Tuesday 10/11. "Answers from Angels" is highlighted. VERONICA: You TiVo a community access show? "Answers from Angels" starts with an audience clapping. JACKIE: Everyone at Neptune High watches it. The set comprises a small raised circular stage on which are set two chairs. Behind the stage, between two palms with eyes in their centre, is an arch through which Madame Sophie appears. Veronica and Jackie watch, curled up in armchairs in front of the television. MADAME SOPHIE: Welcome, everyone. Someone special is trying to reach you. A friend...who passed before her time. A girl, somewhat trepedatiously, joins Madame Sophie on the stage. MADAME SOPHIE: Do you know who that might be? MICHELE: [upset] I think I do. My friend Rhonda. [breaking down] She was on the bus. She cries and Madame Sophie pulls her into a hug. VERONICA: And suddenly, I have a new life's mission: destroy Madame Sophie. MADAME SOPHIE: My dear, sometimes it is... Her voice is drowned out by a firm knock on the door and Terrence Cook enters. JACKIE: Dad, you remember Veronica Mars. VERONICA: We met at Shark Field. TERRENCE: Right. Promised you wouldn't wash that hand. VERONICA: I haven't. People are starting to complain. JACKIE: What did the Sheriff want? TERRENCE: He wanted me to MC the department's charity ball. JACKIE: You're kidding. TERRENCE: Wish I was. It's nice seeing you. Terrence backs out of the room and shuts the door. Veronica and Jackie return to watching the show. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Before I left her place, Jackie and I came up with a plan to get even with Madame Sophie. INT - MARS RESIDENCE. Veronica enters her bedroom. She heads straight for her desk and the laptop. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Since she already knew Jackie, I would go on Madame Sophie's show and expose her as a fraud. Veronica sticks an ear piece in her ear. On the screen, an audio surveillance window is up, with a picture of a large beetle against grass. It is labelled "The Beetle." The detail at the bottom shows "1 item, 61.81 GB available." On the left, the menu this time reads: Network. Perseus, Desktop, veronicamars, Applications, Documents, Movies, Music, Pictures. According to Veronica's computer clock, it's Thursday at 10:58am. On the right side of the screen, her files are Perseus, Cases, something unreadable, Photography, School work and Stuff. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Terrence Cook's mention of his visit with the Sheriff reminded me: maybe it's time to check in on Neptune's finest dirty politician himself. Veronica clicks on the beetle and brings up the bug's screen, with MZ and VU scales, similar to a graphic equaliser. She listens. LAMB: [offscreen] You have to make a report on your own, sweetheart. Mm-hm. Thank you. Veronica fast forwards. FLASHBACK: INT - SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT - DAY. A cold blue lights Lamb's office as he fast forwards in his office, signing something brought in by a deputy and talking on the phone. Still in speeded up motion, Sacks brings Terrence Cook into his office, then leaves them. END FLASHBACK AND RETURN. Veronica bends her head down, listening with careful interest. She adjusts the levels. LAMB: [offscreen] Mr. Cook. TERRENCE: [offscreen] Good to see you, Sheriff. [SCENE_BREAK] FLASHBACK: INT - SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT - DAY. Now at ordinary speed, the men sit down, Lamb with a sigh. Terrence looks uncomfortable. The entire scene is shot predominantly at angles and in close-ups. LAMB: I was thinking that you might be interested in buying some tickets to our annual fundraiser. They're ten bucks a pop. TERRENCE: You asked me to come all the way down here just to hit me up for a donation? LAMB: I like to get to know our more notable residents -- business leaders, Hollywood types, all-star athletes -- personally. TERRENCE: Put me down for two. He rises and holds out his hand to Lamb. TERRENCE: It was real nice to meet you. Lamb doesn't move. The moment becomes awkward. LAMB: Actually, I was thinking you might purchase more like a thousand tickets. END FLASHBACK AND RETURN. Veronica's interest is piqued as she lifts her head and frowns. LAMB: [offscreen] Oh, and if you could M.C. the bachelor auction that would be great. TERRENCE: [offscreen] That's a lot of money, Sheriff. FLASHBACK: INT - SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT - DAY. Lamb writes something down. LAMB: Yeah, that's ten thousand dollars. If my math's correct. He throws down his pen and stares up at Terrence. LAMB: Hey, it's not three million dollars. Now THAT is real money. I mean, that's the kind of money that certain people take very, very seriously. Terrence swallows hard. LAMB: Gambling debt like that and they might send some guys down to your nice, new Cliffside house to remind you payment's due. TERRENCE: What are you getting at, Sheriff? LAMB: Pretty sure I just got to it, slugger. TERRENCE: [earnestly] I never bet on baseball. Lamb grins evilly. LAMB: I got a guy in a holding cell back there, says you did favours for gentlemen who bet extensively on baseball. Lamb finally stands and looks Terrence in the eye. He puts his hands in his pockets and sighs loudly. LAMB: We both have something in common. We'd both like to see you make it into the Hall of Fame. Lamb grins again. Terrence is shocked and lost for a response. END FLASHBACK AND RETURN. It is Veronica's turn to sigh loudly. VERONICA: Say it ain't so, Terrence. EXT - NHS, LUNCH AREA - DAY. Michele, the girl whose friend was on the bus, is working while she has her lunch of hamburger, chip, crisps and what looks like a drink called "Saucy Jake." She is on her own at one of the tables. Veronica approaches her table. VERONICA: Do you mind if I sit here? Michele is a little taken aback. MICHELE: Mm-mm. VERONICA: Michele, right? MICHELE: Uh huh. VERONICA: I saw you on T.V. Michele laughs softly. VERONICA: "Answers from Angels." That was pretty amazing. MICHELE: Oh, it so was. VERONICA: The reason I wanted to talk...I'm thinking about going on the show. And...what exactly did they have you do, when you got there? Did-did someone from the show ask you who you wanted to communicate with? MICHELE: Oh. No. No, not at all. VERONICA: So nobody there knew about Rhonda. MICHELE: Well, mm, there's this one lady backstage, this other audience member, and we got to talking. VERONICA: What did she look like? MICHELE: Crazy. She chuckles. MICHELE: Big hair, rhinestone glasses. Why? VERONICA: Details, just...flush out a story. MICHELE: Before Madame Sophie contacted Rhonda, and let me know she wasn't angry at me for not picking up, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep... VERONICA: Not picking up? MICHELE: Rhonda called me from the bus. I was painting my nails, and I let it go to voicemail. VERONICA: You have a message from when the bus went over? Do you still have it? Michele picks up her phone, lying on her open book. MICHELE: Please, don't tell anyone I have this, Veronica. She punches some buttons. MICHELE: I wouldn't want them to...you know? She finishes and hands the phone to Veronica, who puts it to her ear. AUTOMATED VOICE: You have one saved message. RHONDA: Michele, why aren't you picking up, you big loser? I can't believe you bailed on that field trip without telling me. Hey, about next weekend -- There is a loud noise, like an explosion or a tire burst. People on the bus start to scream. There is a second loud bang. RHONDA: Oh God! There is a final crash sound and then static. AUTOMATED VOICE: To delete message, press seven. To forward message, press eight. For more options -- Veronica, shocked, takes a deep, shakey breath. She drops the hand holding the phone to her lap, hiding it from Michele. She starts punching buttons. MICHELE: Hey. Are you okay? Veronica still looks shaken and swallows, and also finishes punching the phone's buttons, before looking at Michele. VERONICA: Yeah. Veronica hands Michele her phone. INT - GRAND NEPTUNE HOTEL, PRESIDENTIAL SUITE - NIGHT. Logan grabs some food from a small trolley. He sits on the floor, against the couch's matching leather coffee table/pouffe. As he starts to take off his shoes and socks, Duncan appears, sitting on the end of the couch next to him. DUNCAN: Sure you wanna do this? LOGAN: Does a bear wear a funny hat? On the television screen in front of them, the Playstation golf game "Hot Shots" is ready to start. DUNCAN: You know, this visit's all about mending fences, building bridges, and I'm afraid that my waxing your ass just isn't gonna help. LOGAN: Woo hoo. You talk it; let's see you walk it. Logan settles back against the pouffe with the controller in his hand and they both thrun their attention to the screen. On screen, the figure takes a swing and hits the ball. GAME: Roger that one! INT - TELEVISION STUDIO - NIGHT. Madame Sophie has a girl on stage with her and is holding her by her upper arms. MADAME SOPHIE: You'll see, honey. She pulls her into a hug. MADAME SOPHIE: You're gonna do just fine at those baton-twirling tryouts. The audience applauds, amongst them, Veronica. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Apparently, the dead are looking out for the shallow. I, on the other hand, am here for emotional guidance from dead-before-his-time Uncle Roger, who I gushed about ad nauseum to crazy big-haired lady with the rhinestone glasses. Said lady gives Veronica a little wave from her seat. Veronica reciprocates. MADAME SOPHIE: I need someone in the audience to help me do this. An "R." Someone is looking for an "R." Veronica's arm shoots up. Cut to moments later. Veronica is now on stage. Both she and Madame Sophie are sitting in the chairs. MADAME SOPHIE: He was...special to you. Took you places. Made things for you. VERONICA: That's my Uncle Roger. VERONICA VOICEOVER: That's it, lady. Dig your own grave. Veronica is obviously sceptical and playing a part... MADAME SOPHIE: Wait. I am receiving another voice. A young woman. I see...the letter "L." She is holding out a flower, a...lily. Lilly? ...but not so much now. Veronica stares at the woman. INT - COOK RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. Wallace is watching. Jackie is snuggled up against him. Wallace raises his head with concern. INT - TELEVISION STUDIO - CONTINUING. MADAME SOPHIE: She has a message for you. Veronica is now seriously wigged out. MADAME SOPHIE: She says, you should have stayed away from her boyfriend. Veronica swallows hards. INT - NEPTUNE GRAND HOTEL, PRESIDENTIAL SUITE - CONTINUING. The boys are watching too. Both look dazed. Logan looks over at Duncan, who is staring at the screen. As Logan turns back to watch the TV, Duncan takes a quick sidelong glance at him. On the screen, Veronica looks uncomfortable. INT - TELEVISION STUDIO - CONTINUING. Veronica continues to be shocked. MADAME SOPHIE: Wait...wait...she has something else to tell us. INT - COOK RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. On Jackie's TV, the camera is focused on Veronica. WALLACE: This can't be happening. Jackie glances over at him, her face unreadable. INT - NEPTUNE GRAND HOTEL, PRESIDENTIAL SUITE - CONTINUING. Duncan and Logan are transfixed. MADAME SOPHIE: Something about...infomercials? Logan leans his head forward to concentrate. INT - TELEVISION STUDIO - CONTINUING. Veronica's forehead crinkles. MADAME SOPHIE: She says to be happy with your own body. You...don't need the...Mamma-Max? Veronica. The audience starts laughing. Realisation hits Veronica that she has been had by Jackie. She gives a rueful grin and nods her head. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - NIGHT. The graphic equaliser-like screen of the Beetle is back on Veronica's laptop. Lamb's and Terrence's conversation is replaying. LAMB: [offscreen] I was thinking that you might be interested in buying some tickets to our annual fundraiser. Veronica gets a disc out of one of her desk drawers. LAMB: [offscreen] They're ten bucks a pop. She slips the disc into the laptop. TERRENCE: [offscreen] Put me down for two. It was real nice to meet you. LAMB: [offscreen] Actually, I was thinking you might purchase more like a thousand. Veronica sets about burning an audio file to CD, saving it to Perseus/veronicamars/Cases/Sheriff Lamb/Beetle Audio Bug. Her phone rings. She picks it up. VERONICA: Chesty LaRue. She smiles. VERONICA: Hey, Duncan. I'm fine, I'm slathering up my boobs as we speak. Can I call you back? Okay. Hey -- do you know who's DJing in between sets tomorrow? Corny? Perfect. No, I just have a special request. Okay, bye. She hangs up the phone and retrieves the CD. On it she writes "Homecoming Request." There's a knock at the front door. Cut to a moment later as she opens the door to Wallace. WALLACE: You okay, Veronica? She lets the door swing open as she turns away and marches to the refrigerator. Wallace steps into the apartment behind her. VERONICA: [coldly angry] Compared to how your girlfriend's gonna be feeling, fan-friggin'-tastic. I hope she really got a kick out of tonight's little performance. WALLACE: What are you talking about? She was worried for you. VERONICA: If by "worried," you mean "enjoying the fruits of her evil labour," yeah. WALLACE: What? What makes you think sh-- VERONICA: The boob cream thing! She used to be the only person alive who knew about that! It's time to pick a side, Wallace. WALLACE: No, Veronica! How about you doin' me a favour for once? Wallace sighs heavily. WALLACE: I'm sure she didn't do it. Veronica's mouth falls open in disbelief at his naivety. WALLACE: But, if she did, I'm askin' you to let it go. VERONICA: You know I can't do that. WALLACE: [hotly angry] Well why does it have to be about you all the time? Look, Jackie's right about one thing... He laughs bitterly. WALLACE: ...it's your world, I just live in it. Veronica's face shows her reacting to the fact Jackie said it, rather than to what Wallace is actually saying. WALLACE: I'm askin' you for a favour, Veronica. Let it go. Don't do whatever it is you're gonna do. Have you been payin' any attention lately? I just learned my whole life is a lie. My dad isn't my dad. I've always been a shoulder you could lean on. You givin' me no time, no sympathy. Nothin'. Veronica is at an unusual loss for words. Wallace storms out, slamming the door behind him. INT - COOK RESIDENCE - DAY. Jackie is sitting in the middle of her bed, looking worried. Her cell rings. She leans over and grabs it off one of the bedside tables. She looks at the caller ID and gasps, happy and relieved. JACKIE: Wallace. INT - FENNEL RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. Wallace is at home. He leans against a door jamb. He's not happy. WALLACE: I just wanna clarify somethin'. Did you set up Veronica? INT - COOK RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. The camera continues to alternate between the two of them. JACKIE: It was supposed to be funny, a punking, that's all. WALLACE: You humiliated my best friend on TV JACKIE: Wallace...look, I feel terrible. Wallace listens, unconvinced. JACKIE: I just wanted to take her down a peg. For tattling on me for having coffee with Dave. For being the person that my boyfriend confides in, for supposably being this legendary badass. WALLACE: You have no idea what she's been through. JACKIE: I swear, Wallace, that psychic came up with the Lilly stuff on her own, I only told her about the Mamma-Max. I screwed up, okay, royally. Just let me make it up to you at the dance. WALLACE: I'm only goin' to the Homecoming dance because of that stupid election. I'm not goin' with you. The phone call is over. Jackie reaches into the drawer of the other bedside table and pull out a bottle of pills. She stares at the label. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - NIGHT. Veronica comes out of her bedroom dressed for the dance. She is wearing a deep blue velvety spaghetti strap dress with a matching cropped short sleeved jacket. Keith, sitting up at the kitchen counter slaps his head at the sight. KEITH: [emotionally] You look beautiful. VERONICA: There's something I need you to hear. Veronica turns to their phone and punches in some numbers. KEITH: If it's "Live at Budokan," I already discovered it. The code Veronica is dialling shows on the phone's display - 5550186. VERONICA: It's a voicemail from one of the students who died in the crash. She called just as the bus went over. AUTOMATED VOICE: You have one saved message. RHONDA: Michele, why aren't you picking up, you big loser? I can't believe you bailed on that field trip without telling me. Hey, about next weekend -- The recording of the loud noises and screams repeats. Keith is deeply shocked. RHONDA: Oh god! Keith actually looks close to being physically sick. AUTOMATED VOICE: To delete message, press seven. To forward mess-- VERONICA: Did you hear it? KEITH: An explosion. VERONICA: Before the bus hit the railing. The bus was sabotaged. That means Ed Doyle had nothing to do with the crash and there's still time before the election to -- KEITH: [horrified] No. Veronica stares at him, not understanding. KEITH: I'm not gonna leverage the deaths of seven people just to win an election. VERONICA: There are people out there who think this crash is your fault. KEITH: Let them think that. At least for now, Veronica. If that sound is an explosion, not only were those kids murdered, but the guilty party is still at large. That evidence can't go public if we want this investigation to stay ahead of the -- VERONICA: What investigation? You think Lamb is gonna solve this? The only way the killer gets put away is if you win the election. Keith understands her point but before he can respond, there is a knock at the door. Keith gets up heavily and opens the door. It's Duncan looking smooth and handsome in a suit. KEITH: Honey, you have a gentleman caller. You got the emphasis on the gentleman part, right? DUNCAN: I did. Veronica walks out onto the porch to join Duncan. She turns back to her father. VERONICA: Don't wait up. KEITH: Tell Wallace I'm pullin' for him. DUNCAN: Hm. Not feeling the Mars family love. Tough crowd. VERONICA: Oh, come on. It's like rootin' for the Yankees. Veronica turns to go, pulling Duncan with her. Keith, already heading back in, spots something on the counter. KEITH: Hey! Do you want this, Veronica? Veronica reappears at the door. He holds out the CD entitled "Homecoming Request." KEITH: Your CD? VERONICA: Um... She ponders for a moment. FADERS: [offscreen] Are you coming with me? VERONICA: ...no. INT - NHS -NIGHT. The Faders are playing live and are in the middle of "No Sleep Tonight." FADERS: You can't stop this, feeling! You can't run away! Baby I'm what's on your mind! You can't stop this, feeling! The place is rocking. Jackie is wandering about, alone and dazed. FADERS: There's no escape, No sleep tonight, you won't get no sleep tonight No sleep tonight, No sleep tonight A man comes up from behind Jackie and takes her in his arms. She doesn't seem to know where she is and stumbles back into him. FADERS: Girl you won't be sleeping Veronica and Duncan join the crowd dancing, giggling and having a great time. FADERS: No sleep tonight Do I have to spell it out in black and white Duncan spins Veronica and she comes out of it, jumping into his arms and they spin together. FADERS: Boy you won't be sleeping No sleep tonight. The mood changes as the band go into another song, "Whatever It Takes." FADERS: I've been lying here for like a million years in my bed Get up get up get up The dancers are now dancing slow, up-close and personal, including Duncan and Veronica. DUNCAN: You look gorgeous tonight. FADERS: All the time I can hear you talking in my head Shut up shut up shut up Veronica smiles and they do a little dip to spin them around. They kiss sweetly. FADERS: Everybody says I should be moving on Everybody knows I'm still waiting Veronica glances across the dancers and sees Jackie clinging onto Logan. She has her arms wrapped around his neck and appears to be kissing him. Veronica freezes. VERONICA: No. Freaking. Way. Veronica races away from Duncan, heading for them as the band plays on. FADERS: I don't care whatever it takes to be with you. You're under my skin and no matter what I do I'm nothing without you so I'll do whatever it takes Logan isn't holding Jackie, his arms flaying somewhat. They stumble as he walks them forward towards a table. Veronica marches up to them, furious. VERONICA: Jackie? Logan and Jackie both seem somewhat out of it. Veronica wrenches them apart. VERONICA: Jackie! She grabs Jackie by the arms to turn her to face her. Jackie's eyes are very glazed. VERONICA: If you want to lock horns with me, duck and charge. But if you think I'm gonna let you break Wallace's heart for sport you have grossly underestimated my wrath. JACKIE: God, Veronica. What is your problem? You really can't make up your mind, can you? Jackie holds out her arms as she walks around Veronica, forcing her to turn towards the rest of the room to keep eye contact. JACKIE: Just pick one of them, God! How many guys here do you expect to want only you? Over Jackie's shoulder, Veronica sees Wallace. He's disappointed and devastated. He turns and walks away. Veronica pulls Jackie aside to race after him. LOGAN: So, where's the after party? FADERS: I've been thinking about how we could have done things differently Give up give up give up She reaches the other side of the room but there is no sign of Wallace. Duncan hurries up behind her. He holds her. DUNCAN: Hey. He'll be all right. She looks concerned but goes along with it and lets Duncan lead her back. FADERS: Yesterday I could have sworn I heard you-- INT - SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT - NIGHT. The outer office is buzzing as Sacks leads Keith to Lamb's office. Sacks knocks on the door and opens it. Keith enters. Sacks walks away. Lamb doesn't get up from his chair. In front of him, his screensaver alternates pictures of indeterminate origin. LAMB: All right. What's so important, Keith? KEITH: It's about the crash. Keith had a computer disc in his hand. LAMB: Course it is. Lookin' for another book deal? KEITH: Veronica found a recording -- a voicemail from one of the victims left at the precise moment of the accident. Now, there's a noise, it sounds like an explosion. Keith puts the disc on Lamb's desk. LAMB: Maybe Ed Doyle decided to, uh, blow his brains out on the way down. KEITH: Damn it, Lamb, just send it to the acoustics lab and let them decide. Lamb picks it up. LAMB: You trying to tell me that this has nothing to do with clearing yourself? Nothing to do... He throws it back down. LAMB:...with winning this election? KEITH: This is about finding out what really happened on that school bus. If I wanted to hang you out to dry, I would have brought that evidence straight to the local news station. Keith is increasing angry and frustrated as Lamb continues to sneer at him, sceptical. KEITH: And you are so making me wonder why I didn't. Keith looks down on Lamb's desk and sees Veronica's Beetle. He leans against the desk and sighs heavily. He then looks up and sees some pictures on a table behind Lamb. His apparent mood changes abruptly. KEITH: [excitedly] Is that you and the governor? LAMB: Governor? Lamb swivels in his chair to look. Keith takes advantage of his distraction and grabs the beetle. He walks out. LAMB: That's a marlin I hooked down in Cabo last year. Is your eyesight starting to fail? Lamb swivels back. Keith is gone. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - NIGHT. Keith is asleep. The phone rings. He turns on the light and answers it. KEITH: Hello. As he hears who it is, he lifts himself up on his elbow. KEITH: Alicia. I was just working up the courage to call you just to say how sorry... He's interrupted. He grabs his watch as he listens. KEITH: No, no. When did you see him last? Cut to morning. Veronica is getting her breakfast. Keith comes in from outside. VERONICA: Dad, where have you been? You were out all night? KEITH: Wallace didn't come home after the dance. Honey, I need to know if you saw him last night. Veronica is devastated. EXT - ROAD - DAY. Wallace is sitting in the passenger seat of a moving car. His cell phone rings. He looks down at it. His Sidekick displays that it is Veronica Mars calling. He doesn't answer. INT - MARS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING. Veronica leans against the wall in the small hallway. WALLACE'S VOICEMAIL: You've got Wallace. Leave a message. VERONICA: I screwed up, Wallace. I didn't mean to let you down, I just...I can't lose another friend. Please call me back. EXT - ROAD - DAY. Wallace looks at the phone again, and then drops his hand and looks out of the window. The camera moves around to show that the driver of the car is Nathan, who looks over at his son. Wallace closes his eyes to sleep. End.

Plan: A: Wallace; Q: Who confronts his mother about Nathan Woods? A: his father; Q: Who does Wallace decide to leave with for Chicago? A: the crash; Q: What is Veronica preoccupied with? A: Jackie; Q: Who stole Veronica's credit card? A: Terrence Cook; Q: Who is Jackie's father? A: Terrence's address; Q: What does Sheriff Lamb threaten to reveal to the men he owes money to? A: money; Q: What does Terrence owe to the men he is blackmailed by? A: a voice mail message; Q: What does Veronica find that suggests an explosion immediately preceded the crash? A: a student; Q: Who left a voice mail message on the bus? A: Keith; Q: Who gives the voice mail message to Sheriff Lamb? A: the public; Q: Who does Keith not want to reveal the message to? Summary: Wallace confronts his mother about his father, Nathan Woods. Wallace confides in Veronica, but she is preoccupied with the crash and helping Jackie find out who stole her credit card. Wallace decides to leave with his father for Chicago. Veronica learns that Terrence Cook, Jackie's father, has a large gambling debt. Terrence tells Veronica that he is being blackmailed by Sheriff Lamb, who has threatened to reveal Terrence's address to the men he owes money to. Veronica later finds a voice mail message left by a student on the bus, which suggests that an explosion immediately preceded the crash. When she plays the message for Keith, he gives it to Sheriff Lamb rather than revealing it to the public.

THE TRIAL OF A TIME LORD PART SEVEN (MINDWARP) Run time: 24:33 [SCENE_BREAK] Tunnel [SCENE_BREAK] Dorf: The Doctor. Do we attack? Yrcanos: Of course. That dreg helping the Mentor's warriors is my enemy. [SCENE_BREAK] Corridor [SCENE_BREAK] Peri: What's happened to you, Doctor? Why do you hate me so? The Doctor: I must do what I think is best. Peri: I used to think that you were different, that you cared for justice and truth and good. I can't bear to look at what you are now. Yrcanos: Now, Doctor, it is your turn to die. Peri: No! Yrcanos: My lady, what have you done? Because of you that vermin still lives. Peri: I couldn't help it. The Doctor, he wasn't always like that. Valeyard (O.C.): I suggest you always were... [SCENE_BREAK] Trial room [SCENE_BREAK] Valeyard: Just like that, my dear Doctor. A toady, a coward, a turncoat. You were afraid that Crozier wanted to transplant the brain of the alien Kiv into your head. You said as much yourself. The thought of that made you panic. The Doctor: I've told you, it was a ploy. I would never want to harm Peri. Valeyard: But you've also admitted that you have no clear memory of the event. The Doctor: Well, I can recall some of it. Bits of it are beginning to bob back into my mind. Valeyard: Oh, really? And does any of your sudden and convenient recall agree with anything that the court has already seen? The Doctor: No! I mean yes, but, but the emphasis is all wrong. Valeyard: And what does that mean? The Doctor: The events took place but not quite as we've seen them. Inquisitor: It occurs to me, Doctor, that your current mental condition makes it very difficult for you to defend yourself. I would therefore suggest that this court be adjourned. The Doctor: No. And I refute any implication that I'm barmy. Inquisitor: Barmy? Valeyard: A rather imprecise Earth slang word, Sagacity, implying psychiatric instability. Inquisitor: Thank you, Valeyard. No one is impugning your sanity, Doctor, merely suggesting your memory is a little faulty. The Doctor: Nevertheless, I would like this trial to continue. Inquisitor: I was also about to suggest that you might change your mind and consider availing yourself of a court defender. A trained legal mind would offer a more constructive and certainly less emotional presentation of your case. The Doctor: If the Time Lords of Gallifrey want my life, you don't think I'd entrust my defence to one of their august number, do you? Inquisitor: Very well. Let us continue. [SCENE_BREAK] Corridor [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: Ah, I appear to have lost my way. I was looking for Crozier's operating room. The Doctor: Thank you. Most kind. [SCENE_BREAK] Operating room [SCENE_BREAK] Kiv: That is to become my new body? Crozier: The coastguards found him adrift off the Islets of Brak. He is of the same branch of mutation and almost certainly from your home mire, my lord. Kiv: He looks like a younger me. Sil: Not quite so handsome, Magnificence. Kiv: Be quiet, Sil. Crozier: The features are similar. There is, however, one small addition. He has retained his primeval sting. His tail contains venom enough to kill. Kiv: Fascinating. I could perhaps sting all my assistants to death. Sil: More importantly, are you sure the new skull will be big enough? Crozier: The capacity is only a little larger in volume than that of Lord Kiv. The operation will give us a little time to seek a more permanent host. Sil: We must make every effort to find the right head on the correct body. Crozier: I have someone in mind. Ah, Doctor. You've come to lend a hand. The Doctor: Yes, thought I'd strop the odd scalpel, mop a brow or two. Crozier: That won't be necessary, but you can monitor the BTU. The Doctor: The BTU? Oh, bliss. Thank you. Kiv: Then let us begin. Should the transfer not work, and brain death occur, my bearers have orders to liquefy all who fail to save my life. Crozier: Check lymphocyte serum drip. Matrona: Active. Crozier: Laser scalpel. [SCENE_BREAK] Tunnel [SCENE_BREAK] Peri: These tunnels look the same to me. Where precisely are we going? Yrcanos: As with all corrupt dictatorships, there are pockets of resistance planning and working to overthrow the evil of Kiv and the other Mentors. Peri: Great, but how does that help us? Yrcanos: My belief is that they await a great leader. I am he. Peri: Do these resistance fighters know that? Yrcanos: They will soon learn. Dorf: My great king is right. Peri: But how will we find these people? Yrcanos: They will find us. Yes. Yes. Yrcanos: Ssssss. Crombrom savalula. (whistles) Yes. Yes. Their footsteps are guided towards me. That is their destiny and mine. Peri: Destiny. Isn't that just a fancy name for blind chance? Yrcanos: Blind chance? Destiny? If that were true, our lives, my majesty, would be meaningless. Peri: It's merely a point of view. Yrcanos: A pompous and empty one, my lady. We all live for a purpose, and for me, that is to die a hero. Peri: I do wish you wouldn't keep going on like that. I'm starting to believe you mean it. Yrcanos: I do! Peri: All right, all right. Let's rest first and then march. There's a good warlord, huh? Yrcanos: Agreed. But only for a moment. Peri: He sounds hungry. Don't blame him. So am I. I'm famished. Yrcanos: Here. Here. Peri: What is it? Yrcanos: It's flayfish. Sustains the body, fuels the fighting spirit. Peri: It doesn't do much for your taste buds, huh? Peri: That's all right. Don't cry. Yrcanos: No, stop that. Dorf is, or was, a great warrior. Dorf: Jealous. He jealous. Yrcanos: Jealous? I'm jealous? Me, a king? Jealous, you say I'm jealous? Peri: The pair of you, just stop it! Yrcanos: I'll tear your head off! You're nothing but a mongrel! He's a dog. He's a dog! Peri: Stop it! Look, it's bad enough we've got this whole planet against us without you two trying to bite lumps out of each other. Yrcanos: You're right. It's the flayfish. My fault. I should have saved it for our next battle. We must go, locate our allies, and then prepare to battle unto death. Peri: Look, one thing at a time, huh? Let's find this Alphan resistance and convince them we're on their side. And then, on to our destiny, huh? Yrcanos: You're right. [SCENE_BREAK] Operating room [SCENE_BREAK] Crozier: Donor brain in position. The Doctor: EEG reading in recipient now level. Crozier: Thank you, Doctor. Sil: Why is this taking so long? The Doctor: Why don't you go for a walk or something, Sil? You're like an anxious parent. Sil: The wealth of the whole planet depends on that lump of mud-coloured tissue there. I haven't learnt all his secrets yet. Crozier: Sil, stop gyrating your throat. I'm ready to attempt transference of brain tissue. Sil: Please, Morgo, let them succeed. Crozier: Prepare for independent support mode. The reading should reach twenty one point five six. The Doctor: Twenty one point five six, uh huh. Matrona: Approaching twenty dead. The Doctor: Dead? Don't say that. Matrona: Twenty fifty. Twenty seventy five. The Doctor: Twenty one twenty, forty. Twenty one fifty six now! Crozier: There's nothing. No heart, no brain readings, nothing. We've failed. Sil: No, this is a joke! Admittedly in bad taste, but it is a profitless, humourless quip. Tell them! Half my fortune if you give me a five minute start. All right, you profitless knaves, all my money. The Doctor: I think his chest gills moved. Did the lexifier unit register its input? The link was difficult to test. Matrona: Nothing. The Doctor: Reserve, quickly. Try the endrodiotone now. Crozier: One last chance. The Doctor: He's breathing. Sil: You see? As I said, strange, witless humour. Crozier: Thanks for the moral support, Sil. The Doctor: Yes, nice to know that you can be relied upon to be your usual treacherous self. Sil: I endeavour to maintain a certain continuity. [SCENE_BREAK] Tunnel [SCENE_BREAK] Peri: Hi. Yrcanos: I told you they would find us. I have come to lead you to freedom. Tuza: Hold your tongue. This way, unless you wish to die here. [SCENE_BREAK] Operating room [SCENE_BREAK] Crozier: Success, Doctor. After a decade of hard work, I can transform the evolutionary process and conquer death. The possibilities are endless. The Doctor: You sure? Aren't you worried about tissue rejection? Crozier: Ah, I've perfected a serum for just that. As from today, Doctor, I can put any brain in any body anywhere. Sil: Now that you've assisted in a miracle of science, Doctor, perhaps you would like to witness a similar feat of commerce? The Doctor: From you, Sil, why not? I could do with a laugh. [SCENE_BREAK] Rebel cave [SCENE_BREAK] Peri: So much for your foresight, huh? Tell them again we're on the same side, Yrcanos, please. Yrcanos: Me, a king, beg to that rabble? Tuza: You must understand we can't allow your bodies and skulls to be retrieved undamaged, otherwise the Mentors will use brain surgery to create creatures like this. Peri: No, wait! Look, look, we're on the same side. Nobody likes brain alteration. Do you think Dorf wants to be the way he is? He was used by the Mentors. King Yrcanos was held hostage so they could exploit him as well as his people. And even I was held captive. You kill us and you do nothing but please the Mentors. Tuza: The Mentors? Yrcanos: She speaks truth. I do not beg. Pulverise my skull and you slay an ally, but supply me with weapons and a good band of fighting men and I'll bring triumph against our enemies. Tuza: I have heard of Yrcanos, King of the Krontep. If you are he, then you will have a plan. Yrcanos: Untie us and you will hear. [SCENE_BREAK] Operating room [SCENE_BREAK] Matrona: Crozier, something's wrong. Crozier: What? He was fine a moment ago. Cardiac arrest. His body's reacting to the drugs. Crozier: You'll not die on me, you fish-faced monster. [SCENE_BREAK] Rebel cave [SCENE_BREAK] Tuza: Your plan is a sound one, but our men are untrained. Yrcanos: Ha. Under my leadership, oh ho, they will fight like demons. Peri: Come on now, boys. Let's not get carried away. Dorf: I have seen him inspire disheartened rabble into acts of heroism. Peri: But how many of them survived, huh? Yrcanos: Bah, that's a minor consideration when there is glory to be had. Tuza: In his way he's right. We have nothing to lose. At the moment, all we do is hide like vermin. All right, King Yrcanos of the Krontep, we'll fight. Yrcanos: My hand hasn't touched honourable steel for what seems like an eternity. Tuza: Find Verne and his men. He'll know where to meet us. Tell him the day of reckoning has come. Now hurry! [SCENE_BREAK] Commerce room [SCENE_BREAK] Sil: Interested, Doctor? Money, money, money, money, money, money, money. All the stock and commodity markets of the universe are available to us via the warpfold relay. See there? An application for credit. The Doctor: Search Conv Corp. Who are they? Sil: Nothing much. Just a bunch of burnt out space rangers who search for wrecked spaceships. They request funding to purchase another retrieval craft, which we will deny. The Doctor: Wait. Planet of Tolk, twenty fourth century. I seem to recall there were a great many wars around the rim worlds at that time. There should be a large amount of battle cruiser debris floating round there soon. Sil: For this company to retrieve? The Doctor: If they have the equipment. Sil: How useful to have a Time Lord in one's employ. Yes, I will allow their application for credit. Marsh minnow, Doctor? Sil: The Lord Kiv will be most pleased with me for my great foresight. I must be sure that I am the first familiar face he sees with his new eyes. The Doctor: That should be comforting for him. I, I think I'd better see how the patient's getting on. [SCENE_BREAK] Trial room [SCENE_BREAK] Valeyard: Sagacity, I wish to ask the accused why a Time Lord with all his privileges should meddle in a swamp world like Thoros Beta. The Doctor: My actions can't be what they seem. There is an explanation. There must be. I can't recall it. Inquisitor: Are you unwell, Doctor? Perhaps you'd like me to call for a recess? Valeyard: Or perhaps a glass of water? The Doctor: No. What? Now, let's get on. I've had enough of wondering why I acted as I did on Thoros Beta. Let's get to it. Let's find out! Play the Matrix, and play it loud and clear. [SCENE_BREAK] Tunnel [SCENE_BREAK] Yrcanos: Down. Peri: What's happened? Yrcanos: Old age. Tuza: Linna? Linna: Help me. Tuza: It can't be. Linna? What is it? Yrcanos: You knew him? Tuza: He was a spice trader back home on Thoros Alpha. I can't believe what I see. Yrcanos: Death comes to us all. He has lived a long life. Tuza: Linna was no older than I am! He was twenty years old, not a hundred as he looks now. How has he been turned into an old man? Peri: Look. No, don't touch it. It might be responsible for his premature aging. Tuza: This is the work of the Mentors. Yrcanos: What was this man's function? Tuza: He was one of the guards at our weapons dump. Peri: Oh, no. Yrcanos: I smell treason, treachery, betrayal. Tuza: I'll scout ahead. Yrcanos: We'll all scout ahead. Tuza: No, there could be danger. Peri: No, let Tuza find out what's going on first, huh? Yrcanos: Spying is not the way of the warrior. If one goes, we all go. Come. [SCENE_BREAK] Operating room [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: See what happens when I leave the room? Sil: He must live! Crozier: Increase the sevrin drip. Crozier: Enough. Sil: Not a flicker. Why has the Lord Kiv not yet returned to life? The Doctor: It takes time. They're trying their best. Matrona: No response. Brain pulse still dormant. Sil: You are conspiring against my wealth. You are allowing the Lord Kiv to die. Crozier: Wait. The Doctor: A movement! Matrona: A reaction here. Crozier: To what degree? Matrona: Almost a complete wave. Crozier: It's going to work. Sil: Lift me. Take me nearer. My face has got to be the first civilised thing he sees. Sil: My lord. Kiv: Have I died and gone to the great Plague Halls of Mogdana? Sil: Magnificence, it's me, Sil. [SCENE_BREAK] Tunnel [SCENE_BREAK] Peri: How much further? Tuza: I only hope we're not too late. Yrcanos: Hey, keep together. This is a great day for battle. A great day to die! Tuza: Does he always go on like that? Peri: Afraid so. [SCENE_BREAK] Operating room [SCENE_BREAK] Crozier: He's totally stable. Sil: You said that last time. The Doctor: Well, as long as you stay away from him, he should be all right. Sil: The Great Morgo be praised. You have been restored to us, O great Kiv, safe and well. Kiv: I dreamed I was lost in the Sea of Despair and Longing. Crozier: Dreams were to be expected side-effects of sedation. Nothing to worry about. Kiv: I feel hardly different. An ache in my, I suppose I can say my skull? Crozier: Yes, that will be your skull until we can find one more suitable. Kiv: I must to work. There is a futures commodity deadline for the Sondlex crop on Wilson One. Sil: It will be attended to. The Doctor and I have struck up a profitable partnership. Kiv: Oh? Not speculation, I trust? The Doctor: Merely conserving resources, O ineffable one, until you return to your rightful place as master of us all. [SCENE_BREAK] Outside the weapons dump [SCENE_BREAK] Tuza: Verne and the others haven't arrived yet. Yrcanos: No matter. Where are the weapons? Tuza: No! Peri: What's the matter? Tuza: The rockfall, it's new. Peri: Seismic activity? Tuza: Well, if so, it's a very convenient one. It's covered up the entrance to our weapons dump. Yrcanos: Ambush. A woman's way for fighting. Peri: Thanks a lot. Yrcanos: If these guards of the Mentors were real men, they would show their banners and fight in the open! Peri: Let's get away from here and find the others, huh? Tuza: She has a point. Yrcanos: Retreat? I am King Yrcanos! Peri: Yes, I know. Whereas it terrifies me, I'm just not so sure it's going to have the same effect on whoever caused that rockfall. Dorf: If there is victory to be had, great king, it would be imprudent to say. Yrcanos: You are a great dog of war. I mean, a great warrior, whose advice I trust and value. Oh, very well. Today prudence shall be our watchword. Tomorrow I shall soak the land in blood. Come with me! Peri: What's happening? Dorf: Wait, there could be danger. Tuza: It's Verne! Tuza: No! Frax: Give up, and you live. Resist, and you die where you stand. [SCENE_BREAK] Trial room [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: That isn't my fault. You can't blame me for that. I wasn't even there. Valeyard: All that has taken place, you are indirectly responsible for. The Doctor: Please, madam. The death of Verne and the other resistance fighters was not my fault. Inquisitor: Your presence did influence events. There's no way that can be denied. Valeyard: Watch, Doctor. See your folly. [SCENE_BREAK] Outside the weapons dump [SCENE_BREAK] Yrcanos: Are we to die withered and aged, or like true soldiers? Frax: You're obsessed with dying, Yrcanos. I don't know what's the matter with you. Peri: And you rather we beg to live? Frax: To be honest, I'd prefer it if you all kept quiet. Yrcanos: You are nothing more than trash from the sewers of Skulnesh. Frax: Shut up. Yrcanos: You've been to the field of battle, that which robs great warriors of their youth and virility, and that is a crime against honour. Frax: It was an experiment for Crozier and the Mentors. Yrcanos: It was an experiment conceived in the Plague Halls of Mogdana, you scum! [SCENE_BREAK] Trial room [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: No! No, no, no, I won't believe it. Valeyard: You still continue to ignore the truth. The Doctor: I am not responsible for that. Valeyard: In your mind, perhaps not. But in reality it is somewhat different, Doctor.

Plan: A: Dr. Crozier; Q: Who decides that Peri may be a compatible body donor? A: the help; Q: What does the Doctor give Dr. Crozier? A: the Doctor; Q: Who helps Dr. Crozier prepare to transplant Mentor's brain? A: Yrcanos; Q: Who is the king of the Mentors? A: the Mentors; Q: Who do Yrcanos, Peri and Dorf plan to attack? A: the laboratory; Q: Where does Dr. Crozier decide that Peri may be a compatible body donor? Summary: Dr. Crozier prepares to transplant Mentor's brain with the help of the Doctor, while king Yrcanos, Peri and Dorf prepare to attack the Mentors. In the laboratory, Dr. Crozier decides that Peri may be a compatible body donor and sends for her.

-[Fairy Tale World]- (Prince Charming is attempting to break the lock on his cell with a rock. Unsuccessful, he slides down to the floor.) Prince Charming: I will find you, Snow. I will always find you. (Two guards arrive.) Guard: It'll be hard to do that without your head. Get up. The Queen is looking forward to your execution. (The two guards shackle him, hauling him out of his cell and into the hallway. As they're walking, Prince Charming slumps to the ground.) Guard: Get up! On your feet. (Prince Charming gets up and attacks the guards. After incapacitating them, he flees down the hallway. Farther down, he encounters another guard who is armed with a bow and arrow. Another guard arrives.) Guard: Shoot him. (The archer-guard takes aim but, instead of shooting Prince Charming, shoots the other guard instead.) Prince Charming: Who the hell are you? (The guard removes his helmet, revealing that he is the Huntsman.) Huntsman: A friend. I don't know you. But I know Snow White. Prince Charming: Is she okay? (The Huntsman unlocks Prince Charming's shackles.) Huntsman: The Queen was traveling to meet her. Her fate is in a precarious place. You must hurry. Follow me. I can get you out. I'll try and stall the Queen. The rest is up to you. (The Huntsman hands him a bag and a sword.) Huntsman: Your weapon and some provisions. Good luck. Prince Charming: You're not coming with me? Huntsman: I cannot. I gave up my heart so that the Queen would spare Snow's. Don't let my sacrifice be in vain. Find her. -[Real World]- (At the hospital, Henry is wheeled in on a gurney as Emma follows. Dr. Whale and several nurses attend to Henry.) Emma: Henry, can you hear me? Come on, Henry. Wake up, please. Come on, Henry. Come on. You can do it. Nurse: Ma'am, let me take you to- Emma: No, I am not going anywhere! Dr. Whale: There's no pupil response. What happened? Did he fall? Hit his head? Emma: He ate this. I think it's poisoned. (Emma holds up a baggie containing the turnover.) Dr. Whale: His airway's clear. Did he vomit? Any convulsion or disorientation? Emma: He took a bite of this, and then he just collapsed. So, run the test for arsenic, or bleach, or Drano, or whatever could've done this to him! Dr. whale: The boy is showing no symptoms that would suggest neurotoxins. So, whatever's going on, this is not the culprit. Emma: Well, what else could it be? Dr. whale: I don't know. That's what I'm trying to find out. Emma: He's going to be okay, though, right? Dr. Whale: Right now, we just need to stabilize him, cause he's slipping away. Is there anything else that you can remember? Any little detail? Emma: I already told you everything. Do something! Dr. Whale: Look, I understand you're frustrated, Miss Swan, I do. But I need something to treat. And, right now, there is no explanation. It's like... (Emma dumps out the contents of Henry's backpack onto a table. She sees his book.) Emma: Like magic. (Emma picks up the book and her mind is filled with memories from the Fairy Tale World, particularly the time when she was sent to the Real World as a baby. When she comes to, Regina frantically rushes into the room.) Regina: Where's my son? Emma: You did this. (Emma grabs Regina and drags her to a storage room. There, Emma throws her against a storage rack. Emma continues the attack, while Regina struggles to defend herself. Emma ultimately ends up pinning Regina to the wall.) Emma: You did this! Regina: What the hell are you doing? Stop this! My son- Emma: Is sick because of you! That apple turnover you gave me? He ate it! Regina: What? It was meant for you! Emma: It's true, isn't it? Regina: What are you talking about? Emma: It's true, isn't it? All of it. Regina: Yes. Emma: I was leaving town. Why couldn't you just leave things alone? Regina: Because as long as you're alive, Henry will never be mine! Emma: He'll never be anyone's unless you fix this. You wake him up! Regina: I can't! Emma: Don't you have magic? Regina: That was the last of it. It was supposed to put you to sleep! (Emma releases her grip on Regina.) Emma: What's it going to do to him? Regina: I don't know. Magic here is unpredictable. Emma: So... So he could... Regina: Yes. Emma: So, what do we do? Regina: We need help. There's one other person in this town who knows about this... Knows about magic. Emma: Mr. Gold. Regina: Actually, he goes by Rumpelstiltskin. -[Fairy Tale World]- (The Evil Queen is pacing in her chambers. The Huntsman arrives.) Evil Queen: Where is he? The prisoner! Huntsman: Escaped. (She magically throws the Huntsman into the wall.) Evil Queen: A palace full of guards, and you let him escape? Huntsman: I did my best. Evil Queen: You failed. And do you know what happens to people who fail me, Huntsman? Huntsman: I'll find him. You needn't worry. Leave him to me. Evil Queen: That won't be necessary. He's mine. (The Evil Queen sees Prince Charming through her mirror. She waves her hand, and Prince Charming is warped through a portal.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Prince Charming is transported to a clearing in the middle of a forest. Lost, he begins to run in a random direction. The camera pans and shows that the forest he's stuck in is extremely vast. Prince Charming arrives at another clearing, where Rumpelstiltskin is waiting.) Rumpelstiltskin: Lost, are we? Prince Charming: What are you doing here? Rumpelstiltskin: I'm just here to help. Prince Charming: Well, no need. I'll be fine. Rumpelstiltskin: No, I don't think so. This is the Infinite Forest. There's no way out. Well, except... My way. Prince Charming: I want nothing from you. Rumpelstiltskin: Not even this? (Rumpelstiltskin holds up a ring.) Prince Charming: My mother's ring. It was just... How did you get it? Rumpelstiltskin: The same way I get everything I want - magic. The same magic that allows me to do... This. (Rumpelstiltskin flips the ring and catches it in his hand. The jewel on the ring now glows.) Rumpelstiltskin: This ring is now enchanted. The closer you get to Snow White, the brighter it will glow. Interested? Prince Charming: Give it to me. Rumpelstiltskin: Ah! It's not something for nothing, dearie. Time to make a deal. Prince Charming: No! No more deals! (Prince Charming draws his sword and attacks Rumpelstiltskin. However, Rumpelstiltskin simply catches the blade with his hand. Prince Charming draws back again, but finds that Rumpelstiltskin has disappeared.) Rumpelstiltskin: Over here. (Rumpelstiltskin appears behind him, now armed with a sword. Prince Charming lunges at him. The two duel briefly, until Rumpelstiltskin disappears and reappears again.) Rumpelstiltskin: Persistent. (The two continue to duel. Rumpelstiltskin eventually gains the upper hand and holds the sword against Prince Charming's neck.) Rumpelstiltskin: Had enough? Prince Charming: Never. (Prince Charming strikes back and ends up Cutting Rumpelstiltskin's face, which he magically heals instantly. Rumpelstiltskin again gains the upper hand and gets Prince Charming disarmed on the ground.) Rumpelstiltskin: Looking for this? So brave. So gallant. So pointless. Bravery won't get you out this forest, dearie. Magic will. Trust me. This is a deal you want to make, because we both want the same thing. Prince Charming: What's that? Rumpelstiltskin: Why, you and your true love to be together, of course. -[Real World]- (Mary Margaret is leaving Granny's Diner and is headed to her car. David approaches her.) David: Hey. MMB: David. David: I was wrong. About you, about me, about... Everything. I didn't believe in you, and I wish I had a good reason why. But, it's like I keep making these wrong decisions, and I don't understand why they keep happening. You know, ever since I woke up from that coma, my life hasn't made a lick of sense. Except for you... And what I'm feeling? It's love, Mary Margaret. MMB: David, why are you here? David: Because Kathryn put a down payment on an apartment in Boston. She's not going to use it, but I am. Unless, you give me a reason to stay. MMB: David... I can't. -[Fairy Tale World]- (In the forest, Rumpelstiltskin holds up a vial of the bottled 'true love'.) Rumpelstiltskin: Behold. The most powerful magic of all... True love. Rumpelstiltskin: Ah! Careful. This is all I have left of it. Prince Charming: What do you know of true love? Rumpelstiltskin: Well, not so much as you, perhaps, but not so little as you might think. Prince Charming: You? You loved someone? Rumpelstiltskin: It was a brief flicker of light amidst an ocean of darkness. Prince Charming: What happened? Rumpelstiltskin: She died. That's the thing about true love, dearie. It can slip through your fingers. It's the most powerful magic in the world. The only magic powerful enough to break any curse. It must be protected at all costs. Prince Charming: I don't understand. What exactly is it you want me to do? Rumpelstiltskin: I want you to help me protect it by putting it in a safe place for me. (Rumpelstiltskin produces an egg shaped container, which he puts the vial in.) Prince Charming: And where is that? Rumpelstiltskin: Inside the belly of a beast, of course. (Rumpelstiltskin shuts the egg container and tosses it to Prince Charming.) Prince Charming: Why hide it? Rumpelstiltskin: Let's just say, I'm saving it for a rainy day. -[Real World]- (Emma and Regina enter Mr. Gold's Pawn Shop.) Mr. Gold: Do my eyes deceive me, or is that the look of a believer? Emma: We need your help. Mr. Gold: Indeed, you do. It seems quite the tragic ailment has befallen our young friend. I told you, magic comes with a price. Regina: Henry shouldn't have to pay it. Mr. Gold: No, you should, but alas, we are where we are. Emma: Can you help us? Mr. Gold: Of course. True love, Miss Swan... The only magic powerful enough to transcend realms and break any curse. Luckily for you, I happen to have bottled some. Regina: You did? Mr. Gold: Oh, yes. From strands of your parents' hair, I made the most powerful potion in all the realm. So powerful, that when I created the dark curse, I placed a single drop on the parchment. Just a little safety valve. Emma: That's why I'm the saviour. That's why I can break the curse. Mr. Gold: Now you're getting it. Emma: I don't care about breaking the curse. All I care about is saving Henry. Mr. Gold: Which is why it's your lucky day. I didn't use all the potion. I saved some... For a rainy day. Emma: Well, it's storming like a bitch. Where is it? Mr. Gold: Where it is isn't the problem. Getting it is what should worry you. Regina: Enough riddles. What do we do? Mr. Gold: You do nothing. It has to be Miss Swan. Regina: He's my son. It should be me. Mr. Gold: All due respect, but it's her son. And it has to be her. She's the product of the magic. She must be the one to find it. Emma: I can do it. Regina: Don't trust him. Emma: What choice do we have? Mr. Gold: That's right, dearie. What choice do you have? Emma: Where is this magic? Mr. Gold: Tell me, Your Majesty, is our friend still in the basement? Regina: Oh, you twisted little imp. You hid it with her? Mr. Gold: Oh, no, no. Not with her. In her. I knew you couldn't resist bringing her over. Emma: Who is 'her'? Mr. Gold: Someone you should be prepared for. Where you're going, you're going to need this. (He opens a long box on the counter, revealing a sword and a scabbard.) Emma: What is that? Mr. Gold: Your father's sword. [SCENE_BREAK] (At the hospital, Emma speaks to a comatose Henry. She is holding the book.) Emma: Henry... You were right about the curse. I should have believed you. I'm sorry. (She places the book under his pillow.) Emma: For when you wake up. (Emma kisses Henry on the forehead. Regina arrives as she goes to leave.) Emma: Say what you got to say. You got ten minutes. Regina: You know where to meet? Emma: Yeah. Don't be late. (Emma leaves Regina and Henry alone.) Regina: I'm sorry... (Jefferson, who is lurking in the shadows, speaks up.) Jefferson: Pity, isn't it? There's nothing harder than not knowing whether you'll ever see your child again. Regina: Jefferson, now is not a good time. Jefferson: For you. Well, for me, it's the perfect time. I'm here to collect. Where... Where is she... My daughter? Regina: Emma was supposed to eat that apple, and she didn't. As far as I'm concerned, that makes our deal null and void. Jefferson: I did what you asked, and you're going to screw me over again? Regina: Look at it however you want, Jefferson. The fact is, I'm done with you. Jefferson: But I'm... I'm not done with you. Regina: What are you going to do? Kill me? I know you want to, but I also know you can't. Jefferson: Do you? Regina: Yes. You don't have it in you. Now, if you excuse me, I have to save my son. [SCENE_BREAK] (Emma knocks on the door of August's room at the inn.) Emma: August? Please open up. I know you're in there. Open the door. August: I can't. (Emma breaks down the door. Inside, she finds August laying in bed, almost completely turned to wood.) Emma: No. What's happening to you? August: You can see it now. You believe. Emma: Yeah. I-I do, but... H-how do I stop this? August: Break the curse. Emma: I'll try - I promise. But I got to save Henry first, and I need your help. August: No, you don't. Emma: Yeah, I do. This is all too much. I-I just... Talked to the Evil Queen and Rumpelstiltskin about a quest to find magic. I can't do it, August. I can't. No normal person can. August: Luckily for us, you're not normal. You can save Henry. You can save all of... (The remainder of August's body turns to wood.) Emma: August? [SCENE_BREAK] (Outside the library, Emma waits for Regina. She has her sword with her. Regina arrives, and the two of them enter the building.) Emma: What is this place? Regina: Would you like a tour, or shall we just get to it? Emma: Lead the way. (Regina walks up to one of the walls and places her hand on it. The wall raises, revealing an elevator. The elevator door opens.) Emma: Whoa. Regina: Get in. Emma: After you. Regina: It's a two-man job. The elevator's hand-operated. I have to stay up here and lower you down. Emma: And I'm just supposed to trust you? Regina: I don't think you have much choice in the matter, Miss Swan. Emma: This battle I'm supposed to fight... Who is it? What is down there? Regina: An old friend. Emma: Then why don't you go talk to them? Regina: Because her punishment here was different than everyone else's. I trapped her... In a different form. She doesn't want to hear from me. You have to trust me on that. Emma: Okay. I will go down there. But let's be clear about something... Your Majesty. The only reason you're not dead is because I need your help to save Henry. He dies? So do you. Regina: Well, then let's get on with it. Now, this is what you're going to have to do. (Emma enters the elevator and is lowered down a shaft.) -[Fairy Tale World]- (Maleficent sits on her throne in the middle of a large chamber. From behind the throne, Prince Charming ambushes her, holding his sword against her throat.) Prince Charming: Where is it? Where is the beast that reigns over this castle? (She magically throws him across the room.) Maleficent: That would be me. But, beast is so harsh. I prefer Maleficent. Prince Charming: I'm going to need a smaller egg. Maleficent: Such a shame. So handsome. (Maleficent waves her hand, extinguishing all of the candles lighting the room. In the darkness, she laughs.) Prince Charming: Show yourself, witch. (Behind Prince Charming, Maleficent has transformed into a fire breathing dragon.) -[Real World]- (The elevator carrying Emma arrives at the bottom of the shaft. She finds herself in a cavern. Emma starts to walk through, when she comes across Snow White's broken glass coffin. The wall behind her turns out to not be a wall, but instead Maleficent in her dragon form. The dragon awakens.) -[Fairy Tale World]- (Prince Charming hides from the dragon behind a pillar. While the dragon searches for him, he notices a glowing weak spot near its head.) Prince Charming: Come on! (He shouts, drawing attention to himself.) -[Real World]- (Meanwhile, in the cave, Emma is poised to fight the dragon. However, she decides against using the sword.) Emma: To hell with this. (Emma drops the sword on the ground and draws her gun instead. She uselessly shoots at the dragon, which only ends up provoking it.) -[Fairy Tale World]- (Prince Charming continues to be chased by the dragon. He manages to scale a set of stairs, giving him the chance to jump onto the dragon's neck below. The dragon struggles against him, but he manages to hold on. He positions himself and plunges the egg container into the glowing weak spot near the dragon's head.) -[Real World]- (Emma runs from the dragon, which ends up falling into a large gorge in the cave. Emma looks over the edge, and the dragon is nowhere to be seen.) -[Fairy Tale World]- (With the egg securely inside the dragon, Prince Charming escapes the castle by jumping through one of the windows. He lands in the water below.) -[Real World]- (The the cave, the dragon flies up out of the gorge.) [SCENE_BREAK] (At the hospital, Mary Margaret reads an excerpt from the book by Henry's bedside.) MMB (Reading): And, yes, she was beyond hope. Beyond saving. This was her end. When Prince Charming saw his beloved Snow White in her glass coffin, he knew all that was left was to say goodbye. He had to give her one last kiss. And when he did, true love proved more powerful than any curse. A pulse of pure love shuddered out and engulfed the land, waking up Snow White and bringing light to the darkness. MMB: Henry... When I gave you this book, it was because I knew... I know life doesn't always have a happy end. But I thought... (The machines monitoring Henry start to go off.) MMB: What is it? Dr. Whale? (Dr. Whale and several nurses enter the room.) MMB: Dr. Whale, what is that? What... What... what's wrong? Dr. Whale: Nurse, get her out of here now! MMB: What is it? What is it? Dr. Whale: His heart rate's falling. Come on, Henry. (Dr. Whale and the nurses try to resuscitate Henry. Elsewhere in the hospital, Jefferson, disguised as a nurse, enters the psychiatric ward in the basement. He hands the nurse at the desk a tea.) Jefferson: Your tea. Nurse: Thank you. What's the commotion upstairs? Jefferson: There's a sick boy. He took a bad turn. Nurse: How tragic. Is there any hope for a... (The nurses passes out.) Jefferson: Recovery? Doubtful. (Jefferson takes the keys and walks down a corridor with several doors on each side, where he walks past a patient who is mopping the floor. He also passes a door labeled 'S. Glass'. Jefferson turns to one of the doors and unlocks it. It turns out to be Belle's room.) Jefferson: Come with me. Belle: Who are you? Why are you doing this? Jefferson: My name is Jefferson, and I need your help to do something that I can't. There's a man. His name is Mr. Gold. Find him. All you have to do is tell him where you've been, and that Regina locked you up. Belle: Wait a minute, what? Jefferson: It's very important. Mr. Gold's going to protect you, but you have to tell him Regina locked you up. He's going to know what to do. You understand? Belle: Yes, I-I have to find Mr. Gold. -[Fairy Tale World]- (Prince Charming swims to shore, where Rumpelstiltskin is waiting with a fire.) Rumpelstiltskin: Impressive, dearie. Very impressive, indeed. Come warm yourself. Prince Charming: I have done what you've asked. Return my ring to me. Rumpelstiltskin: Of course - you're in a bit of a rush. How rude of me. (He takes out the ring.) Rumpelstiltskin: With this... Prince Charming... You will find her. (Rumpelstiltskin hands Prince Charming the ring.) Prince Charming: Thank you. Rumpelstiltskin: Something's missing. (Rumpelstiltskin magically transforms Prince Charming's outfit into something more 'princely'.) Rumpelstiltskin: Now, you're ready for your big moment. Prince Charming: Why do you want us together? What do you get out of it? Rumpelstiltskin: I'm a fan of true love, dearie. And, more importantly, what it creates. -[Real World]- (Emma stares stunned at the dragon.) Emma: Really? (The dragon attacks and Emma, again, attempts to shoot it. Dropping her gun, she spies the sword on the ground near her. She rushes over to pick it up.) Emma: Hey! (When the dragon turns to her, she throws the sword towards the dragon's belly. The dragon disintegrates into pieces ash, with the egg container resting neatly on top of the pile. Emma picks it up.) -[Fairy Tale World]- (Prince Charming rides on a horse along a long stretch of land towards a forest, with the ring glowing the closer he gets. In the forest, he meets several dwarves gathered around a glass coffin.) Doc: You're too late. (Camera pans to Snow White lying inside the coffin.) Prince Charming: No. No! At least let me say goodbye. (The dwarves remove the lid of the coffin. Prince Charming kisses Snow White, which causes the spell she was under to be broken. A pulse of magic spreads throughout the land. She wakes up and gasps.) Snow White: You found me. Prince Charming: Did you ever doubt I would? (The two of them go for a walk along the shore.) Snow White: How did you do it? Prince Charming: With this. It's my mother's ring. It... Led me back to you. And now... I never want it off your finger. (He gets down on one knee to propose.) Prince Charming: Will you marry me? (He places the ring on her finger.) Snow White: What do you think? (They kiss. Snow White breaks away.) Prince Charming: What is it? Snow White: There's the little matter of your father and my stepmother. Prince Charming: Ah. That. I'm open to suggestions. Snow White: Here's one - let's take back the kingdom. Prince Charming: How? Snow White: Like we shall do everything... Together. -[Real World]- (On the main street, David is packing up his truck. He looks at the clock tower one last time, then drives off. Meanwhile, Emma is heading up the shaft in the elevator, when it suddenly comes to a halt. She yells.) Emma: Regina! What the hell was that? Regina! (Emma looks up, and sees Mr. Gold leaning over the edge of the shaft.) Mr. Gold: Miss Swan? You got it? Emma: Mr. Gold. What are you doing here? Mr. Gold: I've come to check on you. I'm glad I did. Regina abandoned you and sabotaged the elevator. Emma: What? I'm coming up. Mr. Gold: Now, there's... There's no time for this. You can't possibly scale the wall and carry that. Emma: Yeah? Well, I can try. (Emma climbs on top of the elevator with the egg.) Mr. Gold: No, you can't. Just toss it up. Your boy's going to be fine. I promise. We're running out of time. Toss it up. Emma: You hold on to it. I'll be right up. (Emma tosses the egg up to Mr. Gold. Once he has it, he leaves.) Emma: Mr. Gold? Gold! (Emma scales the shaft and arrives back at the library. There, she finds Regina gagged and tied to a chair.) Emma: Regina. (Emma rips the tape off of her mouth and begins to untie her.) Regina: He tricked you! How could you give him that? Emma: Where is he? Regina: Gone. Gold. He manipulated all of this. Emma: Come on. He can't be that far. (Both Emma and Regina's cell phones ring at the same time.) Emma: It's the hospital. [SCENE_BREAK] (Regina and Emma arrive at the hospital and rush to Henry's room. The arrive in time to see Dr. Whale and Mother Superior leaving the room.) Dr. Whale: We did everything we could. Mother Superior: I'm sorry. You're too late. (Emma enters the room, where the nurse is unhooking the machines from Henry.) [SCENE_BREAK] (In the back room of his shop, Mr. Gold unlocks the egg container. He takes out the vial of 'true love' and pockets it. He hears the bell ring at the front of his shop and quickly hides the egg. The person turns out to be Belle.) Belle: Um, excuse me? Are you Mr. Gold? Mr. Gold: Yes, I am. But I'm afraid the shop's closed... Belle: I was, uh... I was told to... To find you and... Tell you that Regina locked me up. Does... Does that mean anything to you? Mr. Gold: You're real. You're alive. She did this to you? Belle: I was told you'd protect me. (He hugs her.) Mr. Gold: Oh, yes. Yes, I'll protect you. Belle: Um, I'm sorry. Do... Do I know you? Mr. Gold: No. But you will. [SCENE_BREAK] (Emma, Regina, Dr. Whale, and Mother Superior are gathered in Henry's room at the hospital. Regina: No... No... Emma: I love you, Henry. (Emma kisses Henry on the forehead, which causes the spell he was under to be broken. A pulse of magic spreads throughout Storybrooke. He wakes up and gasps.) Henry: I love you, too. You saved me. Regina: You did it. (The pulse of magic awakens everyone in the town. Soon, a crowd begins to gather in Henry's room.) Emma: Henry... What's going on? Regina: No... Henry: The curse. I think you broke it. Mother Superior: That was true love's kiss. Regina: No, no... Mother Superior: If I were you, Your Majesty, I'd find a place to hide. Regina: Henry... No matter what you think, no matter what anyone tells you, I do love you. (Regina flees the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] (David, after turning back from the edge of Storybrooke, sees Mary Margaret in the street.) David: Snow! MMB: Charming. (The two run towards each other.) MMB: You found me. David: Did you ever doubt I would? (They kiss.) [SCENE_BREAK] (A dejected Regina sits in Henry's room at their house. She grabs one of his pillows off the bed and cries into it.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Belle and Mr. Gold are walking through the woods. Belle suddenly stops.) Belle: Wait. Mr. Gold: No, no, we're very close. Belle: Rumpelstiltskin, wait. I-I remember. I... I love you. (They hug.) Mr. Gold: Yes. Yes. And I love you, too. But, hey... There'll be time for that. There'll be time for everything. But first... There's something I must do. (They reach a well at the edge of the forest - the well that's connected to Lake Nostos.) Belle: What is this? Mr. Gold: This is a very special place, Belle. The waters that run below are said to have the power to return that which one has lost. (Mr. Gold approaches the well and drops in the potion vial. A thick purple smoke starts to emerge from the well and begins to spread.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Emma and Henry, along with the others, are still at the hospital.) Emma: Henry... What's going on here? If the curse is broken, why didn't they go back? Henry: I... I don't know. (A nurse suddenly drops the tray she was holding after she looks out the window. Emma goes to check what the problem is.) Emma: Are you okay? (Emma also becomes entranced with something outside.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Still in Henry's room at home, Regina moves to the window. She sees the purple smoke from the well spreading over the town.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Both Emma and Henry are watching the purple smoke take over Storybrooke.) Emma: What is that? Henry: Something bad. [SCENE_BREAK] (Mr. Gold and Belle continue to watch the purple smoke pour out of the well.) Belle: I-I don't understand. Mr. Gold: We're in a land without magic, Belle. And I'm bringing it. Magic... Is coming. Belle: Why? Mr. Gold: Why? Because magic... Is power. (The purple smoke continues to engulf Storybrooke. Regina, still observing from the window, smiles. The smoke wraps around the clock tower, as the clock strikes 8:15.) -[End]-

Plan: A: a way; Q: What do Emma and Regina team together to find to save Henry's life? A: the fairytale land; Q: Where is Prince Charming trying to escape from the Evil Queen? A: the Evil Queen's; Q: Whose clutches is Prince Charming trying to escape? A: Snow White; Q: Who did Prince Charming want to reunite with? A: a bite; Q: How much of the poison apple did Snow White take? Summary: Emma and Regina team together in order to find a way to save Henry's life. Meanwhile, in the fairytale land that was, Prince Charming attempts to escape from the Evil Queen's clutches in order to reunite with Snow White who, unbeknownst to him, has already taken a bite of the Queen's poison apple.

Phone Salesman: Hi. Pam: Good morning, can I help you? Phone Salesman: Yes, I'm from Techstar about a new phone system for you. I was wondering if I could talk to Michael Scott. Pam: I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Phone Salesman: Really? He's never around when I come by. Pam: Shoot. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: They have new phone systems now that can ring directly to a salesman, or someone presses star and they go to accounting, basically 95% of my job. But I'd like to see a machine that puts out candy for everyone. [realizing] Vending machine. [SCENE_BREAK] Phone Salesman: How about I make an appointment to come back? That way, I know he'll be here. Pam: That is a great idea. Phone Salesman: Great. Pam: [while leafing through Michael's appointment book and seeing nothing but free time] Um, oh boy, let's see, he's really... Jim: [approaching Reception] Michael Scott, manager. Hi, how are ya? Pam: There he is! Phone Salesman: Oh, hi! Great. Jim: Nice to meet you, yeah. Whew! I can assure you we don't need a new system though. Happy with ours. Michael: [coming out from his office] Hello, may I help you? Jim: Jimbo! Michael: ...Jim. Jim: [impersonating Fonzie] Ayyyy! Michael: Ayyyy! Pam: Ayyyy! Michael: Ayyyy! Jim: Ayyyy! Dwight: [running from his desk] Ayyyy! Jim, Pam, Michael and Dwight: Ayyyy! Phone Salesman: Ok. I'm, uh, I'll be going. Jim, Pam, Michael and Dwight: Ayyyy! Michael: [laughing] What was that? Pam: That was funny. Michael: That was funny. Let's go do it to somebody else. Ayyyy! [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Oh, look at that. Cupids and hearts. Really shoving our faces in it this year. You doin OK, bud? Kevin: I miss Stacy. Michael: Yeah, I hear ya. It's been four months since I was with Holly, and she was way hotter then Stacy. So if you think you're hurting... Kevin: I can't even imagine. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: This is our first and only Valentine's Day as fiances. Jim: You're only engaged once. Well present company excluded, but. Pam: Really, Jim? On Cupid's birthday? Jim: Yeah. [Jim leans in for a kiss but Pam turns away] She's fine. [SCENE_BREAK] Kelly: So, I received my first Valentine from a secret admirer. [Kelly opens the envelope] Roses are red, violets are blue, it's time for your dental cleaning, and maybe a check-up too. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Oh, wow look at those. How nice for you. Up there, front and center, beautiful. I think they would look better right here. [Michael takes the flowers from Pam's desk and puts them on the ground off to the side] They're very pretty and I wouldn't want them to fall. [Kevin groans] [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Just about everyone in this office is single right now. Including me. And everyone is experiencing an incredible amount of emotional pain. Especially me, because of my great capacity for emotion, and it is my first Valentine's Day since Holly, so I think that I am well qualified to understand that these people need to be protected from having love shoved into their faces. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Pam, really, they're back? Pam: I can't see them when they're on the floor Jim: They're for her to look at, Michael. Michael: Can I have a word with you, Jim? Jim: Yes, let's have a word. Michael: Yes, um, Jim. Today is a very difficult day for a lot of people in this office. Jim: Oh, I'm sorry. Michael: Yeah. And the sexy looks between you and Pam, the general sexiness, the flowers, it's creating a bit of a hostile work environment. Jim: I understand that. Dwight: So sexy it becomes hostile. Michael: Mm-hmm. Jim: Uh, I actually thought we were keeping it pretty low-key. Michael: Well, if you guys insist on having your own private little love fest-- Jim: We do. Michael: --that none of us can be a part of-- Pam: You can't be a part of our relationship, Michael. Michael: [gesturing Pam to be quiet] --then, we, are gonna have our own private Valentine's Day party. Jim: That sounds fun. Michael: So suck it. Hey everybody, I just invited Jim to suck it, and I am cordially inviting all of you to a special convention, a lonely heart's convention, this afternoon. Singles only. Dwight: Yeah, deal with it Pam! Michael: So we may not have someone in our lives that we love, but we do have each other. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Having trouble finding a vein? Blood Drive Worker: Yup, a little. Dwight: How about now? [Dwight untenses his arm] [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: I train my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I can retract my pen1s up into itself. [pauses, then nods signaling that he performed the feat] [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: I am about to give blood. The gift of everlasting life, the transfer of my bodily fluids, oh wow, that's a big needle, that -- Blood Drive Worker: You're gonna need to lie down right over here. Michael: Okay. Hello. Blood Girl: Hi, I cant talk right now. I'm sorry. Michael: Oh, OK. Blood Girl: Whew, I'm really nervous. Michael: Yeah, me too. Blood Girl: Yeah, when I get nervous I sort of clam up. Michael: Oh, well, that's fine. Blood Girl: Whew, it's better for me just to be quiet, yeah. Michael: Yeah, can I point something out to you? Blood Girl: Sure. Michael: You're actually talking a lot. Blood Girl: Sorry, it's the other thing I do when I get really nervous. Michael: Okay, here we go. Blood Drive Worker: Alright, here we go. Michael: Oh, God. [Michael clears his throat] Blood Drive Worker: Just relax. Michael: Yup, I'm good, whew. Wow, I feel like a human juicebox. [Blood Girl laughs] Hawaiian blood punch. Blood Girl: Oh, that's gross. Michael: Type O-Ocean Spray. Blood Girl: God, stop. Stop it. [SCENE_BREAK] Phyllis: Hey, why don't you guys come have lunch with Bob and me? We'll take all afternoon. [whispering] Michael is terrified of bob. Pam: What do you think? Jim: I have a lot of work to do this afternoon. Those mines aren't gonna sweep themselves. Pam: We're in. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Yick. Blood Girl: What? Michael: I looked at the bag. Blood Girl: Ew. Michael: I looked straight at the bag. Blood Girl: That's not good. Michael: Could you distract me for a second, just talk about things that don't have blood in them? Blood Girl: Well, ok... bags! [Michael is taken aback] Alright, that was bad. Michael: That was mean. Blood Girl: Um, a hat. Michael: A hat. Blood Girl: A hat with no blood in it? Michael: That is full of soup. Blood Girl: You're cute. Michael: What? Blood Drive Worker: You're done. Michael: Oh, already. Blood Girl: Ah, we did it! Michael: Whew, wow I was so nervous about this I don't think I ate for three days. [Michael passes out] Blood Girl: Is he OK? [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [ccming to] Oh my God, how long was I out? [Michael looks over where Blood Girl was and sees Hank] Hank: What? Michael: Excuse me, waitress, where did the lady go? Blood Drive Worker: Oh. She left. Michael: OK. Oh, wait a second, wait a second, that's hers. This is hers, she left her glove. I need her name if I'm gonna return her glove. Blood Drive Worker: I'm sorry sir we can't give out that information. [Michael sighs] [SCENE_BREAK] Meredith: [seeing Kelly tear a paper heart in half] What are you doing? Kelly: Decorating. Meredith: I'll help. [Meredith tears the wings off of a Cupid] Now it's just a stupid baby. Kelly: Yeah, thanks. [SCENE_BREAK] Phyllis: It is so nice to go out with another couple. Pam: Anything to get out of that office. Phyllis: I know Bob: I honestly don't know how you can work with that jackass, that other jackass, and that new jackass. Phyllis: He's talking about Michael, Dwight, and Andy. Jim: Oh yeah, I understood. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Well here we all are. Alone but together. No flowers for us. [in a Mexican accent] Relationships, we don't need no stinking relationships. I think we should all go around and tell our worst relationship story, and then get past it, just blow through it, yeah? Kelly, what about Ryan? He treated you pretty terribly, yeah? Kelly: Well, his heart was in the right place. Michael: Yeah, but now his heart is in Thailand along with the rest of his body having random s*x. [Kelly looks hurt] Okay, sorry, let's, who else? Oscar. Oscar: I don't think so. Michael: Come on, I'm sure there's something you need to get off your chest. Oscar: I can't. Michael: If you wanna just, anything? Are you sure? I'm sure whatever you did it wasn't your fault. OK well, who else? [SCENE_BREAK] Bob: Everyone here who's bowled a 280 please raise your hand. [Bob does so] Jim: No way, a 280? Pam: Wow, that's impressive. Phyllis: Okay. Now everyone here who's bowled under 70 raise their hand. Jim: Yikes. Phyllis: Come on, Bob. Raise your hand. [Bob does so reluctantly] Jim: No. Bob, no. No! Pam: What? Bob: One time. You love bringing up that one time, don't you? Phyllis: Yes I do. Pam: Jim uses a 6 pound ball. Jim: That is a lie, that is a lie. Pam: Yes, he bowled 5 frames with this pink sparkly thing until a little girl had to ask for her ball back. Jim: But! That girl must've had monstrous hands because the holes fit. Pam: No, you just have little dainty fingers. Bob: Oh yeah. You can always model ladies' jewelry. Jim: Nobody asked, Bob! [SCENE_BREAK] Oscar: Do you risk telling him how you feel? Do you say something that you can barely admit to yourself? Angela: Oh God, what did you do? I mean, not that I approve of any of it but... Oscar: I was stupid, I told him. Kevin: Was he in to you in like a gay way? Michael: Moron, if he was there wouldn't be a story. Oscar: He told me he wasn't gay. [everyone groans] Michael: Really sad. Oscar: I'm not done yet. Michael: Oh my God. Kevin: A week later a friend of mine calls me up, and he says "I just saw him in a gay bar in Kansas City." [everybody groans except for Michael who looks pleasantly surprised] Michael: Well then it's a happy ending, because he was gay. You should call him! Angela: My worst breakup was actually two breakups. Two different men. I was in love with both of them and when things went bad they had a duel over me. Oscar: Yeah, Dwight and Andy. We were here. Angela: No, this was years ago when I was living in Ohio. John Mark and John David. Oscar: Angela, you had two sets of different men actually duel over you? Angela: I guess I have. Huh. Michael: Alright who's next? Where's Andy? Oscar: He's on one of his honeymoons. Michael: What? Oscar: He made non-refundable deposits on his honeymoons, so he's just knocking them off one at a time. I think today he's hot air ballooning and later he's got a couple's massage. Kevin: My worst breakup was with Stacy. It was a Sunday morning, we were reading the paper, and I said "Oh my God, I think the Eagles could clinch the NFC East!" and she said that we're done. Michael: You know what guys? I don't think we need to do this. Dwight: You're right. OK everyone, back to work. Michael: No, no, no, no. I mean have this kind of party. I look around and I see all these beautiful people who are alone on Valentine's, and I think that there are other single people out there too. We just need to find them. There's a girl out there for all of us maybe even in this office park. There has to be a way to get all these lonely people together. Dwight: A net? a giant net? Michael: No. Not a giant net. Dwight: What do you have in mind? Michael: I was thinking maybe like a mixer. Dwight: Oh God, that's a terrible idea. Michael: Old fashioned meet market -- Dwight: No. Michael: -- I don't think it is. Dwight: Lonely people mixing with one another? Breeding? Creating an even lonelier generation? Ha, you're not allowing natural selection to do its work. Pssh. You're like the guy who invented the seat belt. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: These people need love and I am going to get it for them Who cares if we sell a little bit less paper today? A great boss cares more about the happiness of his employees then anything else. I am going to be cupid, and I am going to shoot my sparrow at unsuspecting victims, and they are going to get hit and say "I'm in love I was hit by cupid's sparrow." Funny little bird, but he gets the job done. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Hey. Dwight: Hey. No movement. Michael: Ah, still early. Dwight: Eh, its not that early. Michael: [sighs] So how you holding up? Dwight: I'm ok. Feel a little lopsided because of all the blood they took out of my right side. Michael: No. No, I meant about being single today. Dwight: Oh. Meh. Michael: Meh, exactly. Eh. Dwight: Eh. Michael: Oh, here we go. Dwight: Hello. Michael: Hello. [two women, a blonde and a redhead, enter the office. Michael and Dwight walk towards them and Dwight extends his hand to the redhead] Dwight: Dwight K. Schrute. Why don't you introduce me to your little friend? [Dwight immediately breaks the handshake with the redhead and turns to the blonde] Hi, Dwight. Michael: Babe alert! [to the redhead] Hello, I'm Michael Scott, welcome to our little shindig. Lynn: Oh, hi! I'm Lynn. Michael: Lynn, follow me, come on in. For you we have one of our top people Kevin Malone. Kevin, come out here show your beautiful self. Kevin: Hello. Lynn: Hi. Michael: [after a short pause] So run with the ball! Run with it, Kev. [after another pause] Where you from? Kevin: I'm from here! Michael: Yeah, OK. Well, he only gets better. Kevin: Thank you, Michael. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: I can untie any knot. I'm serious. Name a knot, any knot. Go ahead. Blonde: I- I- believe you. Dwight: You shouldn't believe everything you hear. In fact, there are many knots that I cannot untie. So where does a woman as charming as yourself find herself employed on a day such as today. Blonde: Um, I work at a place that does catalogs for community colleges and small businesses. Dwight: You must use a lot of paper. Blonde: Oh God tons of it . [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: What's the rule about eating when people are in the bathroom? Jim: I think if you ordered hot food you're allowed to eat. Pam: Oh, damn. [Pam looks down at her salad] They've been in there for like ten minutes. Jim: Look at that. Bob ordered hot food. Pam: Yes. And I think they gave him too many fries. Jim: We should help him out. [Jim and Pam each take a French fry, eat it, and then look toward the bathroom] [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: At the Circle Drive-In they show old movies. It's really cool. Lynn: That does sound cool. Kevin: I used to go there with my fiance [Lynn is taken aback]. Before she left me [Lynn shows pity]. No, I mean, before I left her [Lynn looks confused]. She left me. [Kevin walks away dejected] [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: I think I blew it. It all happened so fast. So... fast. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: So, Eric. You mentioned before that you are in tool and dye repair. Eric: I am. Michael: Meredith recently had a total hysterectomy, so that's sort of a repair. Alright, I'll let you guys talk. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: It's going very well. People are mixing, a lot of hope. Cause that's what you hate to see, when hope gets crushed. [Michael suddenly turns to look at the open entrance door] Sorry, thought I heard somebody coming in. Um, so [looking at his watch] it's not too late. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: ...and the kind of discounts we're talking about are not... hold on - Michael, Why do you keep looking at the front door? Michael: No reason. Dwight: Is somebody after you? Oscar: Why do you always go to that? Has anyone ever been after anyone in this office? Dwight: Hey, it just takes one! Michael: Nobody's after me, I just, I met a woman when I was giving blood and I thought she might come by. Kelly: You met a woman when you were giving blood? That is so romantic. Michael: It's not a big deal really, I just, you know met somebody, we hardly talked, I picked up her glove so I was hoping I could give it back to her. Kelly: Oh my God, that makes it even more romantic. This is like a modern day Enchanted, it's like a fairy tale. Meredith: She could be your soul mate. Dwight: Oh, not likely. 3 billion woman on the planet, most of them live in Asia so the numbers just don't add up. Oscar: It's possible. Kelly: She could be. Michael: Believe me its nothing. I hardly even talked to her we just, we were lying there next to each other, I think our blood bags touched. Kelly: Aww. [Michael grins sheepishly] [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Here they come. Pam: [looking up from her pilfering of Bob's food] What? Jim: No, just kidding. Seriously though, that's enough. Pam: Well, you should cover it with the broccoli. Jim: Oh great, I have to cover? Pam: Do you think they dined and dashed? Jim: Well they didn't dine so, yeah, maybe they just dashed. Pam: I thought we were having a nice time. Jim: We were. Pam: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: [emerging from the Men's room] Empty. Pam: [exiting the Ladies' room] Mine too. [Pam and Jim notice the Handicapped stall and walk towards it. Putting their ears to the door they hear Mr. and Mrs. Vance being intimate] Jim: Oh boy. Pam: My God. Jim: OK. [SCENE_BREAK] Girl: Is this the party? [everyone turns to Michael wanting to know if this is Blood Girl] Michael: Nah. [everyone groans and Girl turns around and walks away. [SCENE_BREAK] Bob: OK then. Jim: So... Bob: Where were we? Phyllis: [out of breath] Bowling. Pam: Yep, that, yeah. Bob: You didn't eat much there Jimbo. Jim: Oh initially I did. Bob: Want some meat? Phyllis: Oh sure, a little piece. Ooh, no mushroom though. Bob: Forgot. Phyllis: Yeah, thank you. [As Phyllis enjoys Bob's meat, Jim and Pam look knowingly into the camera] [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: Hey, I'm sorry we did not have a chance to talk more. I get very nervous talking to pretty girls. Seriously, feel how sweaty my hand is. Lynn: That's really sweaty. Kevin: Are you on email? Lynn: Oh, yeah. [gives Kevin her card] Kevin: Cool. Bye. Lynn: Bye, Kevin. [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: Good Valentine's. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: So basically, the greater volume you decide to buy in, the greater discount we can give you. Blonde: OK. [Blonde stands up to leave] Dwight: OK, what's up? Blonde: Look, I'm gonna go... Dwight: Oh-oh-oh before you go, I'd just love to get a firm commitment on this. You know maybe sign-- Blonde: Look, we already have a paper supplier. Dwight: OK. Well, thanks for wasting my time tonight, idiot. God! Michael: Hey, you don't deserve her. Dwight: Thanks, Michael. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Hey, if anybody wants to go... Oscar: We can stay a little longer. Michael: Really? [everybody signifies their agreement, and Kelly gives Michael a piece of cake] Oh, thanks. Kelly: Michael, it's time. Michael: You know what, you guys, you guys can get out I'm gonna soldier on a little bit. Oscar: Come on, we'll all go. Michael: [after some encouragement] OK. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Four months ago, I dated a woman named Holly and, um, this is actually the first time that I've even considered getting back into that arena again. You know what, sometimes it's not about whether Cinderella gets her slipper back, but it's about the fact that the prince even picked up the slipper at all. There's a lot of princesses out there. You know, they have all different sizes and shapes of feet and hands so I think, I think my odds are pretty good. [SCENE_BREAK] Stanley: Pardon me, may I have a chocolate chip cookie? I gave blood earlier and I'm still feeling woozy. Blood Drive Worker: Of course. [noticing Stanley's arm] That's weird. You got a cotton ball and tape and we've been using Band-Aids. Stanley: [backing out of the bloodmobile] I, uh-oh I feel so woozy I just [to Phyllis] Band-Aids. Phyllis: Damn.

Plan: A: the office; Q: Where is it Valentine's Day at? A: Michael; Q: Who is attracted to a woman who loses a glove at a blood drive? A: Cinderella; Q: What fairy tale character does Michael resemble? A: their worst break-up stories; Q: What do the staff share at the "Lonely Hearts Party"? A: lunch; Q: What do Jim and Pam have with Phyllis and Bob Vance? A: the bathroom; Q: Where do Jim and Pam hear the Vances having sex? Summary: It's Valentine's Day at the office. Michael is attracted to a woman who loses a glove at a Valentine's blood drive; Cinderella -like, he tries to track her down. The staff share their worst break-up stories and band together to host a "Lonely Hearts Party" where they root for Michael's would-be romance. Jim and Pam have lunch with Phyllis and Bob Vance , which turns awkward when they hear the Vances having sex in the bathroom.

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Scott: I can't believe Derek's dead. Chris: We stay out of it. Allison: They're trying to kill my friends. How do I stay out of that? Derek: Your father locked you in a freezer in the basement to punish you. Lydia: I have no clue how I ended up finding that body. Stiles: So, you literally just showed up there. Lydia: Yeah. Scott: I've seen worse. Stiles: Where have you seen worse? Coach: Listen up. The meet's been pushed till tomorrow. This is the closest motel with the most vacancies and least amount of good judgment when it comes to accepting a bunch of degenerates like yourselves. You'll be pairing up. Choose wisely. And I'll have no sexual perversions perpetrated by you little deviants. Got that? Keep your dirty little hands to your dirty little selves! Allison: Lydia? Lydia: I don't like this place. Allison: I don't think the people who own this place like this place. It's just for a night. Lydia: A lot can happen in one night. Stiles: All right, so I have four. Scott: Four? You have four suspects? Stiles: Yeah, it was originally ten. Well, nine technically, I guess. I had Derek on there twice. Scott: So who's number one? Harris? Stiles: Just because he's missing doesn't mean he's dead. Scott: So if he's not dead, our chemistry teacher is out secretly committing human sacrifices. Stiles: Yeah, I guess that just sounded way better in my head. Scott: Well, what if it's somebody else from school? Like, you remember Matt? We didn't know that he was killing people. Stiles: Excuse me? I'm sorry, what? I... yes, we did. I called that from day one, actually. Scott: Yeah, but we never really seriously thought that it was Matt. Stiles: I was serious. I was quite serious, actually. Deadly serious. No one listened to me. Scott: Who were the other three? Stiles: Derek's sister, Cora. No one knows anything about her, and she's Derek's sister. Next, your boss. Scott: My boss? Stiles: Yeah, your boss. I don't really like the whole Obi-Wan thing he's got going on, you know. It freaks me out. Oh, my God. Have you still not seen Star Wars? Scott: I swear, if we make it back alive, I will watch the movie. Stiles: Just makes me crazy. Scott: Who was the last one? Stiles: Lydia. She was totally controlled by Peter, and she had no idea, so... Jennifer: Oh, God. This is a bad, very bad idea. I should be taking you to a hospital. Derek: No, no hospital. Jennifer: Derek, I can't... I can't hold you anymore. I'm losing you. Derek? Derek. Derek... Stiles: Yo. Hey. That was the same thing I was gonna get. Oh, hang on. You know what? I got a patented method for this. Don't worry. Allison: Lydia, did you get the new towels? Lydia... What are you doing? Scott: Looking for you. Allison: You found me... In the shower. Slightly naked, if you didn't notice. Scott: I've seen you naked before. Allison: Okay, well... remember, we're kind of not together anymore. Scott: We're still friends, right? We could just be closer friends. Maybe... it could even fix things between us. Allison: Scott. What are you doing? Are you okay? Scott: Yeah, I was, um... sorry, I don't remember. Lydia: Excuse me? The card on the dresser says we have a non-smoking room, but somehow all of our towels reek of nicotine. Receptionist: Sorry about that, sweetheart. Lydia: What's that? That number? Receptionist: It's a kind of inside thing for the motel. My husband insists on keeping it up. Lydia: What do you mean? Receptionist: It's a little bit morbid, to be honest. You sure you want to know? Lydia: Tell me. We're not gonna make the top of anyone's list when it comes to customer satisfaction. Lydia: Obviously. Receptionist: But we are number one in California when it comes to one disturbing little detail. Since opening, more than any other motel in California, we have the most guest suicides. Lydia: 198? Receptionist: And counting. Chris: Do you want me to come pick you up? I don't mind a late night drive. Allison: No, no. It's okay. We're at a motel. Chris: The school paid for that? Allison: Yeah, yeah. It's not great, but it's just for a night. Chris: What's it called? Allison: The Glen Capri. Do you know it? Chris: Yeah, it... sounds familiar. Listen, sweetheart, I'm gonna hop in the car and come and get you guys. Allison: No, dad. Seriously, it's okay. Chris: If there's something you feel like you can't tell me, I just want you to know you can talk to me. We don't have to keep anything from each other. Allison: I know. Jennifer: Oh, my God. Derek: How bad? Jennifer: To be honest, the "oh, my God" would be for your unbelievable physique if it weren't for the fact that you're bleeding black blood. Derek... Oh, God, you're not dying, are you? Derek, please don't die. Derek! Not exactly how I imagined our first date. Allison: 198? Lydia: Yes, and we're talking 40 years. On average, that's... 4.95 a year, which is... actually expected. But who commemorates that with a framed number? Who does that? Who? Allison: All suicides? Lydia: Yes. Hanging, throat-cutting, pill-popping, both-barrels-of-a-shotgun- in-the-mouth suicides. I don't know about you, but me, I... Man: Which... which one do you want? Lydia: Did you hear that? Allison: Hear what? Woman: I don't know. The smaller one, I guess. Man: It's okay. Smaller's better. There's less kick. I'll chamber the round. All right, so... Woman: Wait, wait. When do I... I mean, do you count? Man: Yeah, yeah, I'll... I'll... I'll count to three. Woman: So after three or on three? Man: You tell me. Allison: Lydia? Woman: One, two... Lydia: Oh, my God, oh, my God. Woman: Then pull the trigger. Lydia: Oh, my God. Man: I love you. Woman: I love you too. Man: One, two. Allison: What is it, Lydia? What happened? Lydia: Did you hear that? Allison: Hear what? Lydia: The two people in the other room... they shot each other. Allison: Lydia. Lydia: Hello? Allison: Lydia, what are you doing? Lydia: Hello? It had to be right here. It was a guy and a girl, and, I mean, they sounded younger, but... they were here. Allison: I believe you. After everything we've been through, I believe you. Alicia: Don't. Don't leave me. You weren't supposed to leave me. Boyd: Alicia? Alicia: Why did you leave me? Boyd: Alicia? Lydia: You know, there is something seriously wrong with this place. Hey, Allison, we need to leave. Allison: But they were suicides, not murders, and it's not like this place is haunted, right? Lydia: Maybe it is. You know, I bet that couple made their suicide pact in that very room. Maybe that's why they're renovating. Maybe they've been scraping brain matter off the wood paneling. Allison: Maybe we should find out. Isaac: Boyd? Mr Lahey: Hand me the 7/16 wrench. What the hell? This is the 9/16, you moron. You know what the difference between a seven and a nine is, dumb-ass? Isaac: You know what the difference between a seven and a nine is? It's a stripped bolt. Mr Lahey: A stripped bolt. Isaac: I'm sorry, I didn't... What do you want me to do? Mr Lahey: I want you to shut up. Isaac: I want you to shut up. Shut up, shut up. What can I do? I can't fix this now. I can't fix this now. I can't fix it. I can't fix it. Mr Lahey: I can't even keep it closed. Grab the chains. Isaac: What? Grab the chains. Get in. I said, get in. Mr Lahey: Are you not hearing me, son? Get in the damn freezer! Get in! Lydia: Well, there goes that. Allison: Didn't you say the sign said 198? Lydia: It was 198. I swear to God it was 198. Allison: Okay, what does that mean, that there's been three more suicides? Lydia: Or three more are about to happen. Scott: Hey, mom, what's up? Mom? Melissa: Scott? Scott: Mom, what's wrong? Melissa: I'm sorry, he just came in the house. I tried to stop him. I'm sorry. Scott: Who, mom? Mom, where are you? Outside. Look outside. Deucalion: Scott... can you hear me? Scott: What do you want? Deucalion: Isn't it obvious? You're an Alpha now, Scott. Scott: I'm not. I'm not. Derek... Derek could still be alive. He could... Deucalion: He's dead. You know he is, so now I'm coming for you. You and everyone you love. I'm coming for all of them. [SCENE_BREAK] Stiles: Hey, Scott, you okay? Ethan: Sorry. Danny: It's just books. Ethan: You brought homework? Well, should I let you get back to it? Danny: Hell no. Ethan: What's that? Danny: I have two of them, from a surgery I had to correct misshapen cartilage I was born with. I had a bar put in when I was 14. It stayed there for two years to support my sternum, so my heart and lungs wouldn't be crushed. Ethan: Well, what if there was a way you could make them disappear? Danny: I don't really want them to. They make me feel like a survivor. Ethan: I really hope you are. Danny: What, what's wrong? Ethan: Nothing. Danny: What? Ethan: Just give me a second. Danny: Ethan, you okay? Ethan: I'll be back in a minute. Allison: Last time I saw Scott act like that was during the full moon. Stiles: Yeah, I know. He was definitely a little off with me too, but actually, it was Boyd who was really off. I watched him put his fist through the vending machine. Lydia: See, it is the motel. Either we need to get out of here right now, or... someone needs to learn how to do an exorcism asap, before the werewolves go crazy and kill us. Stiles: Okay, just hold on, all right? What if it's not just the motel? The number in the office went up by three, right? Allison: You mean like three sacrifices? Stiles: What if this time it's three werewolves? Allison: Scott, Isaac, and Boyd. Stiles: Maybe we were meant to come here. Lydia: Exactly! So can we get the hell out of here now? Please? Stiles: Wait, hang on. Let me see this. Allison: What is that? Stiles: "28year-old man hangs himself at the infamous Glen Capri." Lydia: Oh, no. Look at these two. They both mention the room 217. These are probably all the suicides that happened in this room. Allison: So if every room has a Bible... Lydia: There could be articles in all the rooms. Stiles: That's a beautiful thing. Most places leave a mint under the pillow. This one leaves a record of all the horrible deaths that occurred. Lydia: What if the room next door has the one about the couple? No, that was not locked before. Allison: Forget it. We need to get Scott, Isaac, and Boyd out of here. Lydia: I'm not the only one who heard that, am I? Allison: It sounds like someone turned the handsaw on. Stiles: Handsaw? Hey, no, Ethan, don't! Ethan: Aah! What just happened? Stiles: Ethan! Jennifer: Are you sure you want to do that? Derek: I have to find the others. They think I'm dead. Jennifer: Well, maybe that's a good thing. You know how many characters in literature use a false death to their advantage? You ever read Les Mis? Tale of Two Cities? Romeo and Juliet? Derek: They need to know. Jennifer: Do you have any idea how bad you look? You're like one giant open wound. I'm not entirely sure you aren't really dead. Ethan: Didn't you hear what I just said? I don't know how I got there or what I was doing. Stiles: Okay, you could be a little bit more helpful, you know? We did just save your life. Ethan: And you probably shouldn't have. Lydia: What now? Allison: I'll find Scott. You guys grab Isaac and Boyd. The best thing we can do is get them out of this place. Lydia: What? Why are you looking at me like that? Stiles: Oh, no, I w... Lydia: Stiles. Stiles: All right, Lydia. I didn't want to say anything, but this... everything we're going through... we've kind of been through something like this before, a lot like this. Lydia: What do you mean? When? Stiles: our birthday party, the night you poisoned everyone with wolfsbane. Man: Do you remember what time it was when you last saw her? Young Boyd: I don't know. I can't remember. Man: Sometimes it helps to put yourself right back in the moment. Imagine you're seeing Alicia skating on the ice rink. Plenty of other people around, and then what? Young Boyd: And then she was just... she was just gone. I told you, I was watching her. I didn't want to skate anymore. I was tired, and I swear, I was watching her. Man: It's all right, Vernon. We're just trying to piece together what happened. Young Boyd: Is she dead? Is it my fault? Boyd: Is she dead? Is she dead? Is it my fault? Is she dead? Jennifer: You don't have any bandages or any kind of first aid anywhere. I looked. Derek: I usually don't need them. Jennifer: How do we fix you up? Derek: Time. You shouldn't be here. Jennifer: Why's that? Derek: Because you don't know me. You don't know anything about me. Jennifer: Maybe I have a feeling about you. Derek: It shouldn't be a good one. Everyone around me... everyone gets hurt. Jennifer: I've been hurt before. Derek: Not like this. Allison: Scott? Are you in here? Stiles: Lydia, I'm sorry, okay? Look, I didn't mean that you're trying to kill people, okay? I just... I just meant that maybe... maybe you're somehow involved in getting people to kill themselves, you know? Which now that I say that out loud, it just sounds really terrible, so I'm just going to stop talking. Lydia: Stiles... Do you hear that? Stiles: What? Woman: Stop. Please, just stop. What do you want? I don't know what you want. Stiles: Lydia, what do you hear? Lydia: A baby crying. Woman: Quiet! Lydia: I hear... I hear water running. Woman: It's time to sleep. Lydia: Oh, my God. Woman: We both going to sleep now. Lydia: She's drowning the baby! Someone's drowning! Stiles: He blocked it. He blocked the drain with something. I can't get to it. Lydia: What do we do? Stiles: Here, help me. Lydia: Is he dead? How long can a werewolf stay underwater? Stiles: You think I know that? Ow! Wait a sec, the heater. Heater... Ethan came out of it when he touched the heater. Lydia: What? Stiles: It's heat, heat, fire. Heat does it, all right? We need something... We need fire. Lydia: He's underwater. Stiles: Yeah, I'm aware of that. Lydia: Wait, wait. The bus. On the bus, they'll have emergency road flares. They have their own oxidizers. They can burn underwater. Stiles: Are you serious? Lydia: Yes, go! Stiles: I got 'em.What do I do? How do I do this? Lydia: The cap, it's like a match. The cap's a match. Stiles! Stiles: Yeah, I'm trying. Ooh. Stiles: Hey, Isaac. Got something here for you. Allison: I can't find Scott anywhere. Stiles: It's happening to him too, isn't it? Lydia: It has to be. Didn't you say there was another flare on the bus? Stiles: Yeah. I'll get it. Allison: Scott... Scott. Scott: There's no hope. Allison: What do you mean, Scott? There's always hope. Scott: Not for me. Not for Derek. Allison: Derek wasn't your fault. You know Derek wasn't your fault. Scott: Every time I try to fight back, it just gets worse. People keep getting hurt. People keep getting killed. Stiles: Scott, listen to me, okay? This isn't you, all right? This is someone inside your head telling you to do this. Okay? Now... Scott: What if it isn't? What if it is just me? What if doing this is actually the best thing that I could do for everyone else? It all started that night, the night I got bitten. You remember the way it was before that? You and me, we were... we were... we were nothing. We weren't popular. We weren't good at lacrosse. We weren't important. We were no one. Maybe I should just be no one again. No one at all. Stiles: Scott, just listen to me, okay? You're not no one. Okay? You're someone, you're... Scott, you're my best friend. Okay? And I need you. Scott, you're my brother. All right, so... so if you're gonna do this, then... I think you're just gonna have to take me with you. All right? Lydia: No! Coach: I don't want to know. I really don't want to know, but in case you missed the announcement, the meet's cancelled, so we're heading home. Pack it in. Pack it in! Ethan: I don't know what happened last night, but I'm pretty sure you saved my life. Stiles: Actually, I saved your life, but not that it matters that much. It's just... it's minor detail. Ethan: So I'm gonna give you something. We're pretty sure Derek's still alive. But he killed one of ours. That means one of two things can happen. Either he joins our pack... Scott: and kills his own. Ethan: Or Kali goes after him, and we kill him. That's the way it works. Stiles: You know, your little code of ethics there is sort of barbaric, just F.Y.I. Coach: Hey, Ethan, I wanted to... Lydia: Coach, can I see your whistle for a second? What's that? Coach: Hey, Eth... I'm gonna need that back. Ethan... Lydia: Wolfsbane. Stiles: So every time the coach blew the whistle on the bus, Scott, Isaac, Boyd... Lydia: and Ethan. Scott: We all inhaled it. Allison: You were all poisoned by it. Stiles: So that's how the Darach got in their heads. That's how he did it. Coach: Hey, hey, hey, hey! Stilinski! Gerard: Twice in a month. Should I be flattered? Chris: In 1977, my Uncle Alexander Argent checked into the Glen Capri motel for a one-night stay. In room 217, he used a shotgun to blow out the back of his skull. The autopsy report noted an unusual animal bite in his side. Gerard: If you already have all the information, what do you want from me? Chris: I want to know the Alpha that bit him. I want his name. Gerard: Deucalion.

Plan: A: The team; Q: Who takes refuge at an eerie motel for the night? A: strange experiences; Q: What do Scott and the gang undergo at the motel? A: various hallucinations; Q: What drives Boyd, Ethan, and Scott to attempt suicide? A: a PTSD flashback; Q: What is Isaac triggered into? A: All four werewolves; Q: Who is saved by Stiles and Lydia? A: sacrifices; Q: What did the Darach use the wolves as? A: Jennifer; Q: Who helps Derek heal when they have sex? A: Argent; Q: Who visits Gerard to ask him which werewolf bit his uncle in 1977? A: a wheelchair-bound Gerard; Q: Who does Argent visit to find out which werewolf bit his uncle? A: 1977; Q: When did Gerard's uncle commit suicide? A: Deucalion; Q: What werewolf bit Gerard's uncle in 1977? Summary: The team takes refuge at an eerie motel for the night, where Scott and the gang undergo strange experiences. Boyd, Ethan, and Scott suffer various hallucinations that drive them to attempt suicide, while Isaac is triggered into a PTSD flashback. All four werewolves are saved by Stiles and Lydia. They figure out that this was the Darach's doing - using the wolves as sacrifices. Meanwhile, Jennifer helps Derek heal when they have sex. Argent visits a wheelchair-bound Gerard to ask him which werewolf it was that bit his uncle in 1977, forcing him to commit suicide. Gerard reveals that it was Deucalion.

Ted (2030): Children, when you're 30 and live in New York, there are few places where it is better not to be. Time Square at New Year, Christmas at Rockefeller Center, but the worst: a student bar! Ted and Marshall enter into a student bar. Ted: You're not serious, my students are going to catch me so I do them a lesson. I have not even my slide projector. Marshall: Ted, I'm champion of skee-ball, since law school. I have come here at least once a month to keep my record. Ted: Looks like you're not income from a lease, a guy called "Big caramel" you're passed. Marshall: Yes, yes. Ted: And you're "Big caramel." Marshall: The biggest. In fact, I must tell you something. I invited Jenkins. Ted Jenkins, no kidding me! Ted (2030): We have heard of Jenkins few weeks ago. Flashback At the apartment... Marshall: You will not believe what Jenkins has done this time. Ted: Who is Jenkins? Lily: This is a new lawyer in the office of Marshall, he is hilarious. Marshall: Hilarious! There was a jar of cherries in the fridge, then Jenkins said: $ 200 and I eat the whole pot. So we gave him $ 200, and he ate the whole jar! Ted (2030): And the stories continued. In McLaren's... Marshall: The CFO comes to sign papers, then Jenkins said: Excuse me Mr Wilkocs, I think we forgot one of the documents.We all went to a bar after work, Jenkins goes on the table and begins to gesticulate like a stripper, and a second later, he removes his shirt. It was so disgusting. End flashback Ted: Well it feels good to finally meet the famous Jenkins, after all these stories. Barney, joining them: And there's going to have another. I'll sleep with Jenkins. Ted: What?! Barney: You heard me. Ted: You want to sleep with Jenkins? Barney: With Jenkins, of Jenkins, near Jenkins. You said it, I want to put like a sock. Ted: But you are... really... I did not know that... Woman: Hi, guys. Marshall: Ted Jenkins here. GENERIC Ted: It's going to seem crazy, but I thought Jenkins was a guy. Marshall: What!? Where did you get it? Ted: I do not know, maybe history: Jenkins pissed out the window of a taxi. Marshall: Yes, even more impressive now, right? Ted: Yes. Marshall: Ok, I confess! It all started a few weeks. Flashback The work of Marshall... Man: In fact the myopic! New lawyer, Jenkins here. Watch out for this guy, he steals things. Marshall: I do not steal. And I do not wear glasses. Marshall. Jenkins: Hi Marshall. So you're really a fan of the Vikings, or he lied about that too? Marshall: Why? It's a trap, you're a fan of the Packers? My wife knows I'm here. She has no money, however it has very special skills. Jenkins: I'm a fan of the Vikings too! I think purple and gold. I am from Pelican Rapids. Marshall: Pelican Rapids? My grandfather lives there. Finally he's dead now, but it haunts a bar on a road. End flashback Ted: Wait, if you tell me that you flirt with a woman other than yours, I'll pull out and hit you. Marshall: First, you can not control the Grand caramel. Secondly, I see it as a big brother, who has breasts. My older brother had also, in short. Flashback Marshall: That night, I spoke to Lily. Lily: I'm in a hurry to meet him. Marshall: I should correct, it would have been so simple. End flashback Marshall: But I have not done. So now, whenever I talk about Jenkins, I avoid pronouns. Flashback Marshall: So the manager comes to marketing staff to choose Midwest. So he, he, he, she, him, him, Jenkins, him, her. End flashback Ted: Look, I understand why you have not told him? You really think she would be jealous too. Marshall: Ted, think of the stories I've told. Ted: Yes, it could be a problem. Marshall: Exactly, that's why Lily can know nothing. Robin: Lily can know nothing of what? Ted: What Marshall is going to buy a horse. Robin: Really?! It's great, I love this stuff. Guys why this kid staring at me? I understand, I think it happens at last. I recognized my show. Ted: That's so cute. But it's Scotty, one of my students, and he looks at me me. Weird that I'm more famous than you. Robin: No, I go on TV. Ted: And I have 30 students in my class, which means, go, 30 times your hearing. We're going to buy Scotty a drink for old teacher. Scotty then, a question on neoclassical architecture, and it's good. Scotty: You are Robin Scherbatsky, right? Ted: What? Robin: Yes. Scotty: I did not want to fix, it's just that I watch your show all the time. Robin: Really? Ted: Really? Scotty: Bluntly. Why do you hang out with Ted? Ted: Uh, this is Professor Mosby. Robin: We're friends. Scotty: The cow! Robin Scherbatsky is friends with my art teacher. Ted: This is architecture. Go will study. Scotty: And a second, you're "Big caramel"? Ted: Go! Marshall is working with Jenkins when his phone rings. Marshall: Hello? Lily: Hey baby, I go up there. Marshall: What, why? Lily: There was a problem at school, it was therefore the day. I thought to visit you, eat something with a nice little dessert. Marshall: I have a problem, it was my wife. The first time I spoke to you, she thought you were a man, so... Jenkins:... then you're afraid she became insane upon learning that I am a woman. Marshall: Absolutely. Jenkins: Good God, I was in a band improv. Am what I do. They leave the office at the same time Lily out of the elevator. Lily: Hello, I'm Lily, Marshall's wife. Jenkins: Hi Lily, I am of the French Embassy. I am here because of a little problem with cheese but important. Marshall: It is Jenkins. Lily: You are Jenkins? Jenkins: Yes, well, uh, I'll let you sort it out between you, see you later. Ted (2030): Marshall cracked. The moment he feared. Lily: The famous Jenkins, gosh. I imagined a man, in short, we eat? Marshall: Wait, you're not jealous at all? Lily: Honey, I do not have to worry about you and another woman. Marshall: Because we love to madness, right? Lily: Yes of course. Let's eat. Ted, Robin and Marshall at MacLaren's. Marshall: It was not jealous at all. Ted: Of course she was not jealous, it is the dynamics of your relationship. Marshall: What is this supposed to mean? Robin: That's how it goes boy, every relationship has a low and high. Ted: Exactly, low in trying to conquer another out of reach, and the strong will go back down to be with the other person less. Marshall: I am not diminished for Lily. Yes, it is a bit small, and my mother says she has no hips to carry a baby Eriksen. My God, you think I'm weak. Robin: That's why Lily is not jealous. The strongest is never jealous because where could go lower? The fort, Lily, is the best thing that low, Marshall may have hoped. Marshall: No, ok, I'm glad Lily, but Lily is as lucky as me. None of us is low. Robin: Yes, it's definitely, you are going to buy a horse. Marshall: What? Robin: Try your luck. Ted teaches a course in architecture at the university. Ted: So, to end modern architecture is very short, experimented with the houses in V. (Robin enters the classroom Ted) Excuse me one second. What are you doing here? Robin: I've realized that you forgot something this morning, so I thought I would bring thee: thy pen. Ted: It's your pen, and you have chewed the end, recently. Robin: Nothing to Ted, your course was on my way to work. Ted: No, it is not. Robin: Come on, stand New York. Student: I watch your show all the time. Robin: Really, you watch my show? You flatter me see. Other fans here? All students raise their hands to Ted. Ted: Thank you for last, Robin. Robin: That night, great show on poisons. (She goes out, then reopens the door) Also, who makes the worst pizza in New York, I will give you information on traffic streets 5 and 9. Ted: Really? You watch his show? It's like watching an aquarium lit, and less interesting. And now that I think, not even informed. Scotty: The truth is that we look for the drinking game. Ted: The what? Student: As the show starts early, it is often at the bar. So when she did an interview, one should drink when she says "But um". [SCENE_BREAK] At the bar... Barney: But huh? Ted: But um, it would seem, she often said. Barney: It's funny, I also had a drinking game based on Robin, Robin finally. At the bottom of her stomach... Ted: It was agreed that you do not speak of those things. Barney: Sorry, you're right. She did not like anyway. She said it woke her up. Does she said "But um" so often? Ted (2030): Tonight, we saw how much she often said. Ted and Barney are watching TV while Robin interviews a young boy. Robin: It's good but um, this was not your first spelling bee, does not it? Boy: No, the third. Robin: Oh that's good. But hmm. But um... Ted and Barney have abused alcohol too, are hilarious. At the apartment Marshall and Lily... Marshall: Interesting article in the newspaper. They say that in every relationship there is a weak and strong. Lily: Let me see. Marshall: It's not that one, it's in another, I've read before. The newspaper reminded me of the old. In short, what do you think? Lily: I think sometimes it's the case. Marshall: But not for us? Lily: No, of course not. Marshall: Sure. Imagine, you have a gun to his head, you have to say that one of us is low. Lily: I would say this is me, this is what is right. Marshall: Now, the gun is pointed at me, and our future children, and our future little monkeys. Depends on who wins the game is played for 3 years. Lily: No, no weak or strong. Marshall: So this... Ted (2030): It went on for a while, until finally... Marshall: Our two children, our 8 grandchildren, 11 great grandchildren our, our plane piloted by Oprah, and it is poised to spits at an art museum that contains all your favorite pictures, and the only way save everything, and answered: Art thou the weak or strong? Lily: And Oprah has tried everything? Marshall: Everything you need to decide now. Lily: I think if I had to really say, maybe I'm strong. Marshall: How can you say such a thing! At the Bar with Ted and Barney... Marshall: She thinks she is strong. That's right, I have to prove that I am not the weak. I will make her jealous. Barney: Easy, that's the plan: A, layer with Jenkins. Two, I sleep with Jenkins first. Three, the second rule is the first I'm going to rule 2. It is beyond the current bar. Ted: Okay, I know. You remember the other night, the game of skee-ball, when you did your good score? Marshall: Yes, an ordinary night for the "Big caramel." Flashback Marshall plays no matter how the skee-ball and score as 50 points. End flashback Marshall: Do you think she was flirting with me? Ted: Bluntly. Marshall: Sure, I have an opening. If Madame Lily is jealous, young Marshall can not move, then by chance, the "Big caramel"... may move, ok let me try again. Ted: Okay, I understand. Robin comes as Marshall hand. Robin: Ted, I have a great idea. Ted: Remove your hair in the bathtub once you're done? Looks like you want to make a bath mat. Robin: If you want to make one of your classes exciting, I could read it from someone a little more fun, your students can pay attention and learn. Ted: Oh, you're entertaining? Last night there were 3 minutes of silence where you tried to patch up your sweater. Robin: Look, just because your class prefers me to you... Ted:... You're a drinking game. Robin: What? Ted: That's why they watch. They did a drinking game on you.Every time you say "But um", they take a shot. Robin: But umm? Ted: Yes. Robin: I'm not But um, I never told But hum. Ted: So I guess it's not a great drinking game. This means that last night when we played with Barney, I was not drunk and I did not vomit on it. Except that I did these two things here, take this. Marshall joined Jenkins in his job. Marshall: Hey Jenkins! Jenkins: Hey buddy! Marshall: So, Lily and I go back to university bar. And you wonder if maybe you would come... You could watch me play skee-ball... do exactly what you did the other night, something like that. It's really up to you, I mean... Jenkins threw himself on Marshall to kiss. He leaves the office, crying. Marshall returned to the apartment. Lily: Hey baby, what do you do at home? Marshall: Baby! That is, it's a name I do not deserve. Lily: What? Marshall Jenkins kissed me! She kissed me! We hooked up the other day, she saw me playing skee-ball. And I do not know, it had to go to his head. But you must know, I immediately stopped... And you're the one for me baby. Lily: Oh, I see what happens. That's about all that history of strong and weak. Marshall: You're sure it's not a fever? Lily: You wanna make me jealous so you invent a story with Jenkins. Marshall: I did not invent it! It happened, this woman kissed me.With language, his tongue was in my mouth. Lily: Of course it was. Marshall: It was silky... and hard as a branch of starfish Lily: I'm so jealous, I'll go see it and hit right on the nose... like an old sandwich. Come on baby, you want some soup? Marshall: It happened! Have you... meatballs? Architecture course Ted... Ted: And here's a few of his contributions to architecture and now... We remember him for just one thing. My friends this is the sad legacy of Gregorio... Franchetti Gazibo. Questions? Scotty: You want to come to the bar with us tonight? Ted: What? Scotty: Yeah, we wanted to do some of Robin Scherbatsky, if you want to come? Ted: Well, what can I say except... um But I am! I can always come? I will pay? Robin has another interview. Robin: So, your third book is your new novel, but um... All, the student bar: But hum! Robin: sh1t! Sorry. But, but just. No hum! Your first book was written more quickly? Man: Oh, it's true! Robin: But umm... All: But hum! Ted: It's not pretty! Ted (2030): And that's when that Robin had an idea that would end the game forever. Robin: I wanted to ask about the novel you're writing right now, but um... All: But hum! Robin: And tonight, you had to, but um... All: But hum! Robin: For a long time, but um... All: But hum! Ted: No, no, no, do not drink, it's a trap! Man: I think I should go, keep your $ 10! Robin: Ok, um... but thank you for coming but um... If there are students who look, but um, but um, but um... Scotty: We should drink professor, is the rule! She said but um. Ted: My God, help us all! Jenkins joined Marshall's office. Jenkins: Oh you're here! I'm really sorry to have embraced yesterday. Marshall: It's nothing. Jenkins: And I'm sorry I slept with you in the mail room. Marshall: It was not me! Jenkins: Oh my God, that's embarrassing 2 discussions today. I do not do usually, I was totally stuffed. Marshall: You were drunk at 8am? Jenkins: Yeah, I know not what has happened! Flashback Jenkins is in a bar. Robin: The police officer was unharmed but um... Jenkins: But hum! (She drinks her glass bottoms up) I gotta work! End flashback Marshall: Happy to have you helped you remember. Jenkins: Damn, how I could do that! Marshall: It's nothing! Jenkins: No, you know what it is not nothing. You are the coolest guy in the office that stupid. And I really do not want to spoil our friendship. This is so embarrassing, do not tell anyone please. Marshall: No, who am I to say? Lily? I said to Lily. Jenkins: For heaven's sake, I have to go talk to him, I must apologize! Marshall: No, no! Jenkins: If Marshall, I must say that it happened, it meant nothing... And I'm sorry. Marshall: No, I... Yes! Yes! Do it! Jenkins: I'm going. Marshall: And if you got no time for all this, just tell him that it happened and that you're sorry. And if you're really in a hurry did not tell him you're sorry. Just as it happened, what is most important. It really happened. Thus abbreviated it as much as you can. In McLaren's... Jenkins: So Lily, what I'm saying is that... It happened and I feel terrible. And I am truly sorry. Marshall: Well, it happened! What will we do? It happened!Terrible, like you said. It happened! Jenkins: Exactly, I feel bad and I hate myself. If what I have done you got injured or affected your relationship with Marshall, forgive me! Lily gives him a fist in the face. Lily: Kissed my husband! MY HUSBAND! Nobody embraces the father of my future children besides me. She throws herself on her and continues to type. Barney: Marshall, you're in the field! Ted (2030): Children, your Uncle Marshall was never tried again to make your aunt Lily jealous. Marshall: Lil '? It's good! Ted's class is really not able to listen after they spent the evening. Ted: So we'll just have a quiet day course. Nobody is talking! No noise! Suddenly Robin between. Robin: How's you all? Ted: No, no, no, please. Just goes away! Robin: I just wanted to tell you go... (She takes a megaphone) To all those watching. Go! Standing New York! BUT HUM!

Plan: A: Lily; Q: Who refused to believe that Jenkins kissed Marshall? A: Marshall; Q: Who insists Jenkins tell Lily what really happened? A: Marshall's attractive female colleague; Q: Who is Jenkins? A: Robin; Q: Who finds out that a drinking game has been made up about her? Summary: When Lily refuses to believe that Jenkins, Marshall's attractive female colleague, kissed him, Marshall insists Jenkins tell Lily what really happened. Meanwhile, Robin finds out that a drinking game has been made up about her.

Doyle: "You had the one thing in your unnaturally long life and you gave it back?" Angel: "You never know your strength until you're tested." Cordy: "I mean what's with those vision things of yours?" Doyle: "Well, they're messages I get from the Higher Powers, you know, it's my gift." Cordy: "If that was my gift, I'd return it." Angel: "If I pull the cables, I think I can still shut it off." Cordy: "Angel, that's suicide!" Doyle: "The good fight, yeah? You never know until you've been tested, I get that now. (knocks Angel of the platform, a blue light glows between their lips as he kisses Cordy, goes demon face) Too bad we'll never know if this is a face you could learn to love." Doyle jumps over to pull the lights apart on the light bomb while the flesh starts to melt off his body. He screams and disappears in a flash off light just as he manages to pull the cables apart, shutting down the bomb. Cut to the Oracle room. Man: "you try our patience. What is done..." Angel: "Can not be undone, you keep saying that. But I need Doyle. You can fold time, you've done it before. Bring him back." Woman: "To what end? To nullify his noble death? To leave his atonement unfulfilled?" Angel: "If it means he lives." Man: "He doesn't so that you may." Woman: "You do so that others will." Angel: "He's my friend." Woman: "If that is so, then so shall it ever be." Man: "But it is of no consequence." Woman: "The war rages on." Man: "Do not come to us again on so self serving a matter." Angel: "There is one consequence, even by your generous standards: Doyle was my sole contact to the Powers That Be. Without his visions - I'm fighting blind." Woman: "All will soon be made clear. For every door that closes, another opens." Man: "And for everyone that opens..." He lifts his arm and they disappear in a flash of light. Cut to a demon with two horn buds on each temple running down an alley. A guy on a motorcycle, clad all in black leather is pursuing him. Credits. Cut to Angel's office. Cordelia is examining the coffee cup sitting by the coffee maker one by one. Angel: "What are you looking for?" Cordy: "Nothing. - Doyle's special coffee mug." Angel: "Doyle didn't have a special mug." Cordy: "Don't you think he should have? (Goes to sit down) I don't know, I guess I thought it would make me feel better if I could hold something tangible that he left behind. Some evidence he was here? But there is nothing. Almost like - like he never..." Angel: "Cordelia, get out." Cordy: "What?" Angel: "I-I mean, of the office. Take the day off. Go live your life a little bit. I can manage here." Cordy gets up: " Don't think I don't know what you're doing, Angel." Angel: "What am I doing?" Cordy: "You're trying to push me away, close yourself off." Angel: "That's not what..." Cordy: "Well, I got news for you, broody boy. We're all we've got now. You may not like sharing your grief with others, but that's the normal, healthy way people deal with loss. I'm not going anywhere, so get used to it. I'm staying right here! (the alarm on her watch goes off) Oops! Got to go. Commercial audition. If it wasn't a national I'd blow it off." Angel: "Well, if you don't feel up to it then don't go. Stay here." Cordy: "Reverse psychology, very cute, don't worry. I'm going." Angel: "I'm not..." Cordy: "But don't get any ideas. I'm coming back!" Angel: "Right." Cordy opens the door just as the demon from the alley is about to knock and lets out a scream. Barney: "You scared the heck out of me!" Cordy: "I scared you? Look in the mirror lately?" Barney: "Every chance I get! (Points at Angel as he walks past Cordy) You're him - right? You're the guy, the - the - the vampire with a soul?" Angel: "I'm Angel." Barney: "Yeah. You got to help me! Please. I-I mean that's what you do, right? You help the helpless? You protect the, what do you call them? The, the - helpless?" Angel: "Something like that." Barney: "Yeah." Cordy: "You want me to stay?" Angel: "It's okay" Barney to Cordy: "Break a leg." Cordy: "Excuse me?" Barney: "I'm sensing a little performance anxiety here. Little trick, picture everybody..." Cordy: "In their underwear." Barney: "I was going to say dead, but hey, if that underwear thing works for you..." Cordy leaves closing the door. Angel: "So (walks into his office and sits down behind his desk) what's the problem?" Barney: "Call me Barney. First off you should know right away before there is any misunderstanding: I'm a demon." Angel: "I appreciate the candor." Barney: "Secondly, I just realized it's 3:45 in the afternoon. If you're a vampire, why aren't you in your coffin?" Angel takes a deep breath: "Coffin. I hate that stereotype. You're a demon and you don't know anything about vampires?" Barney: "Only what I've learned from TV." Angel: "Vampires don't sleep in coffins. It's a misconception made popular by hack writers and ignorant media. (Gets up) In fact you know, we can and do move around during the day, as long as we avoid direct sunlight. Got it?" Barney sits down: "Got it. Sorry. I didn't wan to push any sore spots." Cut to Cordy at the audition. She looks very nervous. Man: "Okay. Let's try this whenever you're ready." Woman: "Action." 2. Man: "Just look at the wine stain on my shirt! I can't meet your folks looking like this!" Cordy holding up a white shirt: "Don't worry honey, it's no problem with extra strength stain-be-gone." 2. Man: "Extra strength stain-be-gone?" Cordy: "Yup. Now stain-be-gone is more effective at melting away (takes a deep breath) stubborn (forces a smile) blood - wine - even grass stains. See, just spray it on - and rub it in (starts to sob) and in minutes the stain is gone! (Cries) It's completely gone." The three people at the table look at each other. Man: "Okay, that was..." 2. Man: "Good. That was good. Good." Woman: "Very nice." Man: "But I think what we're going for here is more of a..." Woman: "Happy." Man: "Yeah, happy. More of an up feeling that the stain is gone." 2. Man: "Yeah, because obviously stains are, you know..." Woman: "Not good." Man: "Exactly." 2. Man: "Yeah. Right." Cordy: "I'm sorry." 2. Man: "I'm sorry." Man: "It's an interesting choice." Cordy wipes her tears away. Man: "Let's try it again. Let's go from..." 2. Man: "Stain-be gone is more effective." Man: "Yeah." They stare in amazement as Cordy hops up and down a in front off the camera, then smiles and starts again. Cordy: "Now stain-be-go-ugh! (She gets hit with one of Doyle's visions but tries desperately to continue with the commercial besides the intense pain and disorientation) is - more - effective (stamps her foot and yells) grass stains!" There is a stunned silence for a moment. Man: "Okay. Nice adjustment." 2. Man: "Nice." Woman: "Thank you." Cut to the motorcycle guy riding down a street in Korea town. Cut to Angel's office. Angel: "Who's hunting you?" Barney: "I don't know. But who ever he is, he's unstoppable. Like a machine. Been on my tail for a few states, ever since Phoenix. Pull out all the stops to shake him - but he keeps on coming." Angel: "What makes you think he means you harm?" Barney: "I don't think he's tracking me down to tell me that I've won the Publishers' Clearing House. He's an assassin." Cut to the guy in leather getting off his motorcycle. Angel: "Is he a demon?" Barney: "He could be. He knows all the haunts and hangouts. It seems wherever I go he's just a step or two behind. You know, it's a miracle that I've eluded him this long." Cut the motorcycle guy looking through a black bag holding swords, stakes and other weapons. He takes out a crossbow. Angel: "Why you?" Barney: "What do you mean?" Angel: "Who are you?" Barney: "That's what I'm saying. I'm nothing. I'm a nobody. I'm just a guy trying to get by in this world. No different from anybody else!" Angel: "In my experience, when one is being pursued that tenaciously, it's generally because the pursuer has a strong grievance against the pursued." Barney: "Uh, hey, man, I never said I was a Boy Scout. I'm an empath demon. I can read emotions. It gives me a slight advantage at cards. You know, Black Jack, Poker. Ooh, it's also good for the fights." Angel: "So you're a cheat." Barney: "I chose to think of it as going with my strengths. Look, whatever. I'm a demon. I'm evil. But I'm not, you know Evil!" Cut to the motorcycle guy examining some yellow slime coating the corner of a building. Angel: "And you can't think of anyone that's got a beef with you." Barney: "No one! But like my old man always said: you can't please everybody. So you're gonna help me?" Cut to Cordy inching her way through the door into the office. Angel looks up from what he's writing: "Hi. (Cordy walks towards him with a strange look on her face) Everything okay?" Cordy put one arm around his neck and kisses him. Angel: "Mmm - mmp (pushes her away) okay, um, Cordelia, that was, uh -You know, I think that you're acting out of grief and you're confusing our friendship with something more..." Cordy: "I didn't feel anything. - Did you feel anything?" Angel: "No! You see that's what I'm trying to..." Cordy: "Urgh! That means I still have it! Damn, I can't believe he did this to me!" Angel: "Who did what?" Cordy: "Doyle! I thought our kiss meant something, and instead he - he used that moment to pass it on to me! (Angel wipes his lips and looks at his fingers) Why couldn't it have been mono or herpes!" Angel: "C-Cordelia..." Cordy: "I didn't ask for this responsibility, unlike some people, who shall remain lifeless! I don't have anything to atone for. If they know what's good for them, the PTB better just stay out of my head." Angel: "The Powers That Be. You had a vision." Cordy: "Boy! Howdy. And guess what, you know how they look painful? Well, they feel a whole lot worse!" Angel sits down: "Another door opens. You're my link to - the Powers, now." Cordy: "I'm nobody's link to anybody. I lost control of my entire nervous system getting that stupid vision - and I'm not certain, but I think I may have - drooled a little - at the first audition I've had in weeks." Angel gets up: "What was it?" Cordy: "Ah, stain-be-gone, it was a national no less. They probably never call me again." Angel hits the table and snaps his fingers: "The vision! What was the vision?" Cordy: "Oh. Pfft! Who knows. It was a thing!" Angel: "A thing?" Cordy: "An ugly, gray, blobby thing. What difference does it make?" Angel: "The difference is if you saw it in a vision it could be an ugly, gray, blobby, dangerous thing!" Cordy: "I don't care, I want it out of me! And if kissing is the only way to get rid of it I will smooch every damn frog in this kingdom!" Barney come out of a door buttoning his sleeves: "Oh, sorry. I thought I heard voices." Angel: "Uh, Barney you remember my associate Cor-(Cordy goes up and kisses Barney)-delia?" Cordy: "Maybe not every frog." Barney: "Boy! I got to say I like the way you people treat your clients!" Cordy: "Excuse me (Barney goes into the outer office, and Cordy keeps spitting then asks Angel in a whisper) He's a client?" Angel: "Apparently someone or something is after him." Cordy: "That ugly, gray blobby thing?" Angel: "You tell me. (Hands her paper and pen) Try sketching it. In the mean time, Barney would probably feel safer down stairs. Baby-sit him until I get back.' Cordy: "Where are you going?" Angel: "To check out his apartment. He thinks whatever is chasing him knows where he lives. (Turns around on his way out) Hey, and behave yourself. I don't want to find you two necking on the couch when I get back." Cut to a brick building at night. The camera pans over to show a motorcycle parked across the street. Cut to Angel stepping out of an elevator into a hallway with one of the lights on the fritz. Cut to the boots of the motorcycle guy walking up the stairs. Cut to Angel walking up to a door. The camera shows the silhouette of the motorcycle guy, holding a crossbow by his side illuminated momentarily by the blinking light next to the elevator. Angel touches the door frame and examines his fingers, then spins around as the door opposite opens. It's a maid pulling a cleaning cart. She smiles at Angel and he smiles back, then opens the apartment door, only to get pushed into it from behind. He turns around to find a crossbow aimed at him by a dark figure. The guy in black leather steps forward and we see that it's Wesley. Wesley: "Hello, Angel." Angel with his hands in his pockets: "Wesley." Wesley: "I wager you thought, you'd never see me again." Angel: "To tell you the truth I hadn't given it much thought one way or the other. What are you..." Wesley still pointing the crossbow at Angel's face: "Hup-up-up! I'm the one asking the questions here. I think it only fair to warn you, any sudden movement and I'd be forced to... (Angel casually bats the crossbow out of his hand) Right. You had a question?" Angel suppresses a smile and walks around Wesley: "Interesting look for you. Motorcycle. The Watchers Council trying out a new image?" Wesley walks further into the apartment: "In point of fact I no longer work for the Council. I came to the conclusion that I was of greater value to the cause working autonomously." Wesley stumbles over something and catches himself on the edge of the bed. Angel: "They fired you." Wesley: "Hardly. With Buffy unwilling to follow Council orders there was simply no opportunity to function as Watcher. And that's why I became a rouge demon hunter." Angel: "You're a demon hunter?" Wesley: "*Rogue* demon hunter! And I'm on the trail of a particularly nasty bugger right now. So, I suggest you stay out of my way." Angel: "Easy, tiger. I think you might be making a mistake. If we're talking about the same demon here, he seems pretty harmless to me." Wesley: "He's left a trail of corpses, human and demon, all mutilated." Angel: "Mutilated?" Wesley: "Each of the victims possessed some unique power - telepathy, poison tongues, healing hands. Whatever the physical source of their power it was ripped, gouged, torn from their corpses." Angel: "He's collecting powers." Wesley: "For what purpose I can only guess. The fiend has cut a swath across half the continent. I almost caught up with it in Phoenix. Got a pretty fair look, too." Angel: "Kind of short, ruddy complexion?" Wesley: "Short? No, on the contrary, quite enormous - and powerful. More of a yellow-green. And it seems lately to be secreting some sort of viscous, yellow fluid." Angel looks at a yellow blob on Wesley's jacket: "Like that?" Another blob lands beside it and they both look up. The demon that had been clinging to the ceiling drops down to land on his face between them. It hits Wesley and throws him across the room. Angel and the demon are a bit more evenly matched, but after a short exchange of blows it knocks Angel to the ground as it turns around Wesley hits it in the chest with a crossbow bolt. The demon screams and jumps out of the window. Angel and Wesley watch it run away. Cut to Angel's apartment. Cordelia is sketching the thing she saw. Barney: "I hear that drawing can be very therapeutic during the grieving period." Cordy looks up: "What?" Barney: "I'm - I'm sorry. I couldn't help sensing your pain. You lost someone close to you, didn't you?" Cordy: "Angel told you?" Barney shakes his head: "I'm empathic. I feel your feelings when you feel them. It's a gift my kind is blessed with." Cordy: "Really. Well, my kind thinks that some things are private. So maybe you shouldn't be nosing around other peoples feelings without asking them." Barney: "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to make conversation." Cordy: "Wait. Barney, I'm sorry. I'm just going through a difficult time right now. I'm just - uhm..." Barney: "Missing your friend. (Cordy nods) Why don't you tell me about him?" Cordy: "Doyle? Well, he drank too much and his taste in clothing was like a Greek tragedy. (Barney chuckles) And he could be really sweet sometimes. (Cordy swallows hard) You'll like this: he was half demon. A secret he kept from me for - like- ever. I guess that's the reason he sometimes smelled weird? You know, you remind me a little of him." Barney with a laugh: "I take that as a compliment." Angel and Wesley come down the stairs. Barney sees Wesley: "That's him!" Angel: "Look, Barney..." Barney gets ready to run: "That's the guy that's after me!" Angel goes after Barney: "It's okay! (To Wesley) The books are over there." Wesley: "Good Lord. Cordelia? (Cordy gets up and walks up to him) Angel never mentioned... Well, this is nice - (Cordy reaches up and kisses him. Wesley pulls her close and kisses her back. After a moment Cordy pulls away.) - surprise." Cordy shakes herself: "It didn't work!" Wesley: "No? Hmm. I thought it went considerably better than last time." Cordy: "No, it was just a kind of experiment. I was trying to... (Really looks at him for the first time) Wesley? What are you doing here? Are you working with Angel?" Wesley: "A lone wolf, such as myself, never works with anyone. I'm merely allowing Angel to assist me." Cordy: "Oh, wow." Wesley: "I'm a rogue demon hunter now." Cordy: "Oh, wow. - What's a rogue demon?" Barney and Angel come back into the apartment and Wesley goes over to look at the books. Barney: "So what you're telling me is that all this time your friend wasn't hunting me, he was hunting something else that was hunting me?" Angel: "That's about the size of it." Barney: "And that something else was after me because..." Angel: "It wants to steal your empathic ability." Cordy: "The feeling feelings thing? What kind of demon would do that to another demon?" Wesley comes back carrying an open book: "A Kungai." Barney: "A Kungai?" Wesley: "The description matches. It's of Asian origin, very deadly. A powerful race of demon's, the Kungai possess a Tak horn, capable of consuming its opponents life force. - We're lucky to have escaped with our lives." Barney: "I know theses Kungais. They - they're killers. They're relentless. (to Angel) You got to take this thing out before it finds me." Angel: "I'm working on it. I have to find it first." Angel tries to take the book from Wesley, who doesn't want to let go of it. They have a little tug-of-war, with Angel as the victor. Wesley: "Hang on. It's of Asian origin. Earlier today I tracked it through an Asian district just north of here." Cordy: "That's Koreatown." Wesley: "It's very likely it's hiding there." Angel closes the book: "Then that's where I start looking." Wesley: "Don't you mean we?" Angel gets his coat: "I work alone, Wesley." Wesley: "The hell you say. This demon is mine! (Angel walks past him) Angel. I know how to track him. You're not catch him without me by your side." Angel turns to look at him: "I had someone by my side. He's dead now. I won't let that happen again. I *work alone*." Wesley: "You don't even know where to begin to look." Angel going up the stairs: "I have a pretty good idea." Wesley puts the book down on the stairs: "Yes. Well. (Gets ready to sit down, but changes his mind with a grimace of pain) Ahh." Cordy: "Are you alright, Wesley?" Wesley: "No. These pants, they tend to chafe one's (looks at Cordy) - legs." [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to the Lotus Spa. The following conversation is in Korean. Soon: "Kungai? You must be joking, Angel. They scare away the regulars." Angel: "You don't mind if I take a look around, do you, Soon?" Soon: "You can't come in here, disturbing our customers like this." Angel pulls out some money: "Forgive me. I respect you have a business to run." Soon accepts the folded bill: "He's in the back." Angel: "Show me." Angel is walking through the spa. There are curtained of cubicles with steam rising from behind them. Angel uses his fighting axe to push one of the curtains a little aside and look behind it. He's almost at the end of the hallway when one of the curtains behind him is suddenly pushed aside. Angel spins around, axe ready as an ugly green, horned demon with a white towel wrapped around his waist steps out. Demon: "Hey, do you know where they do the Shiatsu massage?" Angel blinks a couple times and walks on. Cut to Angel's apartment. Cordy has finished her drawing. Barney: "Hey, that's kind of nice. What is it?" Cordy: "I don't know. I don't know! (Rips the page off, crumples it up and throws it on the floor.) I don't know." Barney: "You're frustrated." Cordy: "That's one spooky talent you got there. You can just look at me grinding my teeth, sighing, grunting and *sense* that I'm frustrated? Amazing!" Barney: "It's pretty good at sensing sarcasm, too. Can I help?" Cordy: "Not unless you can explain to me why I have to suffer head-splitting migraines, getting visions so vague, they require close captioning." Barney: "What do you mean, um, visions?" Cordy: "That friend of mine, Doyle? He used to get these brain flashes. Messages from the PTB. (Barney shakes his head in question) The Powers That Be. Visions of all sorts of stuff: people in trouble, things about to cause trouble, places trouble is happening in. Barney: "And you're friend left you with that little inheritance?" Cordy: "I'm never going to forgive him for doing this to me." Barney: "What? Choosing you? Trusting you with an enormous responsibility? Believing that you where the only one worthy of such a rare and important gift?" Cordy: "Did I mention the drooling?" Barney: "I get the impression that Doyle didn't have much by way of possessions?" Cordy: "No. No he didn't." Barney: "Seems like he gave you the most valuable thing he had." Cut to Angel walking into a back room in the spa. The Kungai is laying on a table with an old lady wiping its brow. Lady (in Korean): "He's dying." Cut to Angel's apartment. Cordy looks in Angel's fridge: "I hope you like your coffee black, because the only lightener the boss has in his refrigerator is O positive." Barney: "Black is great." As Cordy makes the coffee Barney walks a ways away, and pulls out a small cell phone. Barney: ""It's me. Of course I got the Kungai horn. It's in a safe place. But listen (turns to look at Cordy in the kitchen) I think I just found something even better. Cordy pours the coffee and takes the cups over to the table. Cordy: "It's kind of strong and a little clumpy. Never could brew the old fashioned way. I'm more the auto-drip girl. Sorry." Barney grinning: "Yes, you are." Cordy: "What?" Barney: "Sorry. Pathetic, really." Cordy: "Well, thanks for that insight, Mr. Emotional Radar." Barney: "How old are you?" Cordy: "That is none of your..." Barney: "Twenty-something? Hmm? With your head all up in the clouds and your feet in -hmm - shoes you can't afford? All self-absorbed, full of regret. Poor, poor you. Poor little Cordelia with her delusions of an acting career." Cordy: "Delusions?" Barney: "You don't possibly think you'll succeed, do you? You're a terrible actress." Cordy: "You have never seen me. How could you possibly know?" Barney: "Because you know. You feel it. Your entire being is whispering it to me right now. Me, on the other hand, you got to admit, I'm a pretty fine actor. Fooled you!" Cordy tries to run, but Barney cuts her off. Barney: "You don't like to hear the truth. No wonder your friend never told you about his demon half." Cordy: "You don't know anything about me or Doyle." Barney: "I know you let him die." Cordy: "That is not true." Barney: "No. But it feels true, doesn't it? Mixed in with all the pain and the grief, oh, a healthy dollop of guilt. A nagging thought that - that maybe some how you could have saved him. If only you'd have been nicer to him. If only you'd let your walls down. If only for ONE freaking second you gave a damn about anyone besides yourself." He grabs Cordy by her arms. Cordy: "let me..." Barney shakes her: "Oh, shut up! So, you hate your gift, the visions? You probably would love to rip those pretty little eyes right out of your head. I know I would." Throws her against the table. Cut to the spa. Angel picks up the crossbow bolt and smells it. The Kungai grabs his arm and tries to tell him something. Angel: "I don't know your language." Wesley (wearing a white suit instead of the black leather): "I do. At least I think I recognize the dialect." Angel: "Well, then it's a good thing you happened by." Wesley: "I wouldn't have thought the wound I gave him was fatal." Angel: "It wasn't the arrow. Look at his head. His Tak horn's been broken off." Wesley leans over the Kungai and tries to translate: "Not stick. No, horn. (To Angel) I think he's trying to tell us that his horn was taken." Angel: "We got that. The question is by whom." Cut to Cordy laying face down on the table as Barney ties her hands. Barney: "Good, terror! I'm feeling it. You have no idea what a rush it is! Keep it coming. Wesley: "The horn was taken. (To Angel) He said his horn was taken for something, the Klu-(click)-ka. I'm not familiar with that word. (Turns back to the Kungai) Yes. Fish. Fish will die. Not Fish. More. (To Angel) He says more will die." Angel: "Yeah, okay. How? Who'd doing this?" Wesley: "No good losing patience. He's dying and I'm not exactly fluent." Cordy: "Wait! Ahh! A vision! I'm having a vision. (Barney pulls her up form the table) A demon, a creepy, little - you! It's definitely you! In great, great..." Barney: "Danger?" Cordy knees him between the legs: "Pain!" She runs but Barney catches her before she can get as far as the stairs. Barney: "I really don't want to hurt you. Bruises bring down the price." Cordy screams: "Help!" Barney hits her and she falls down. Barney: "But not by much." Wesley: "Bit to the cherry? Slam the cherry? Oh, no, oh dear. Stop. Stop the demon? Red - heart. Reader." The Kungai sinks back dead. Wesley: "He was trying to describe his killer. Demon, heart, reader." Angel: "Empath demon. Barney." Cut to Cordy laying bound and gagged in some storage room. She opens her eyes and sees the gray blob (a sculpture) that she has been trying to draw. There are all kinds of labeled body parts, including a still beating heart under a glass cover. Hank: "That's too much trouble! How about we just pop out the eyes, and we'll dump the body?" Barney: "We get at least an extra thousand if the seer's eyes are intact, so drop it. - Shouldn't you be cataloguing gypsy flesh?" Hank: "Yeah, yeah, whatever." Cut to Angel and Wesley running down the stairs in Angel's apartment. Angel: "Cordelia! - Cordelia!" Wesley: "This is all my fault." Angel: "We both left her here. Neither of us knew." Wesley: "I should have. All this time I've been tracking the wrong demon. If anything happens to Cordelia because of me..." Angel: "Nothing is going to happen to Cordelia. I won't let it. - In case you're wondering, this is me looking for a clue. Feel free to join in any time you want." Wesley: "I'm a fool. The Council was right to sack me. - Yes, I was fired. I had two, two! Slayers in my care. One turns evil and now vegetates in a coma, the other is a renegade. Fire me? I'm surprised they didn't cut my head off. (Angel finds Cordy's crumpled drawing) I'm useless. - A fool. A sniveling great, big..." Angel: "Ugly, gray blobby thing." Wesley: "Ugly, gray, blobby thing. -What?" Angel: "I know this. It's a sculpture by Van Gieson, Maiden with Urn. (Shows it to Wesley) Cordelia saw this in a vision. It could be telling us where Barney took her." Wesley: "So, we ascertain the sculptures whereabouts, Cordelia's whereabouts - then you can go rescue her." Angel: "*We* can go rescue her. I need your help, Wesley. The Kungai said Barney wanted the horn for something." Wesley: "Klu(click)ka." Angel: "You're the only one in this room who could translate that. Are you with me? (Wesley gets up and nods) Good." Cut to a computer screen with a picture of the sculpture on it. Angel: "Van Gieson's Maiden with Urn was sold to the Ramsey Hotel Chain in '82. There are twelve hotels between here and San Diego, it's got to be in one of them." Wesley lays down an open book on the table: "I keep running up against a translation for Klu(click)kla, which translates as Caller Sale - Caller - Caller Sale - Yes, of course! I know what Klu(click)ka is." Angel: "What?" Wesley: "Auction." Cut to the auction. There are all kinds of demons and humans on the floor, including a sleek businesswoman with Wolfram&Hart on her briefcase. Barney: "Sold! For 20,000 to number 118, the dapper gentleman in the center isle. Well-done, sir. You are now the proud owner of an authentic Tak horn. Stab your enemies with it, heck, stab your wife, it'll drain the life right out of them. The power to drain a life force is an investment in peace of mind." Hank takes the red cushion with the horn on it way. Barney: "Next up lot 32. We're very lucky to have this here today. It's a rare, and beautiful find." Hank hands the cushion to a guy, who just lead Cordy in. Hank takes off her gag. Cordy: "I'm really not a seer. I only had a vision once, and I'm pretty sure it was just something I ate!" Hank puts his hand over her mouth. Barney as Hank leads Cordy on stage: "The magnificent eyes of a seer. Your very own pipeline to the Powers That Be, folks. The possibilities are endless. Keep the girl as a slave, remove the head as a trophy, or simply harvest the eyes, in any case a unique party icebreaker. It doesn't get any better than this. Let's start the bidding at 2,000. Do I hear 2,000? - Ah, 2,000. Do I hear 2,000 and five? 2,000 and five, do I hear three?" Barney: "8,000, do I hear nine? Come on, I don't have to tell some of you what a rare find this is. - 9,000. Nine gets me ten. 10,000. 10,000, do I hear 10? Ah, 10! Do I have 11? 11,000. 11,000 form the gentleman in the back! Do we have 12? - Seer's eyes going at 11,000, do I hear 12?" Cut to Angel hanging up the phone while Wesley tapes a knife to his leg. Angel: "Hotel Ramsey in LA recently redecorated. The Van Gieson sculpture used to be in the lobby." Barney: "11,000 it is. 11,000 once, twice..." Cordy: "Hey, you know you pay twice that for cataracts. These eyes are flawless even without the stupid visions! That's the best you can do?" Barney: "12,000. I have 12,000 from the gentleman. 13,000? 13,000? Going for 12,000..." Cordy: "You know what these eyes can do? They can see stuff - like danger, and - and evil and locations buried treasure!" Barney: "13,000, do I hear 13?" Cordy: "Come on, have some huevoes, guy! Whity here is stepping all over you. You're going to take that form his kind?" The white faced guy looks at the white haired guy sitting next to him and lifts his paddle. Barney: "13. (The white haired guy lifts his paddle) Uh, 14. - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18..." The lady from Wolfram&Hart listens to a voice on her cell phone: "You decide." Barney: "19 (the white faced guy hits the other guy over the head and lifts his paddle with a smile) 20,000 form the gentleman in the center isle, going once, going twice..." The woman from Wolfram&Hart: "30,000." Barney: "Huh, sold for 30,000 to the lovely lawyer form Wolfram&Hart." Cut to people picking up their stuff in the storage room. Barney: "I'm sure your people will be happy with their purchase." Woman: "We won't be needing the body. My employers have requested that the eyes be extracted." Barney: "Well, an extraction is a very delicate process. We run the risk of damaging the gift. It's going to cast you an extra thou." Woman: "Please! Extraction is always included in the price." Barney: "Not with seer's eyes." Woman: "Never hear do of such a thing." Barney: "There's never been such a thing like this on the market. - An extra thousand or you take it as is." Woman: "Go ahead." Barney: "All righty then. (Rubs his hands together. To Hank) Give me the extractor." Hank: "But -I want to do it. You know that. I've been begging you..." Barney: "Hank! You're embarrassing yourself. Hand it over." Hank reluctantly hand him what looks like a pair of salad tongues. Cordy, once again gagged, whimpers. Angel at the top of some stairs: "Convention halls?" They usher points down the stairs and he and Wesley head down. Angel to another employee: "We're late. Where is the auction?" Man: "I'm sorry we don't have any auctions here." Angel vamps out and grabs him by his lapels: "Where is it?" Man: "It's - it's in the Tulip room. That way." Hank pushes Cordy down in a chair. Cordy: "No!" Barney hits her while the lawyer watches impassively. Barney: "Now, be a good girl and hold still. This will only hurt a lot." Wesley and Angel (still in vamp-face) run into the auction room. Angel: "The sculpture is not here." Wesley: "As usual, one step behind." A guy walks out from behind a curtain: "Have you got a number?" Cut to the storage room. The guy comes sailing in through the door, distracting Barney. Angel and Wesley burst in. Barney: "Hank. Stakes." Angel starts to beat up on the security people there while Wesley hops on one foot trying to free the knife he taped to his leg. He falls down and a guy headed for Angel falls over him. Angel, being held by two guys while kicking the stake out of the hand of a third sees Wesley lying on the floor, still trying to get his knife. Angel: "Get Cordelia!" Wesley crawls over to where she is tied to the chair. Wesley: "Are you alright? Oh." (Pulls the gag from her mouth) Cordy: "I'm so far not!" Wesley: "Right. Wrists!" Cordy: "Wesley, come on!" Tries one more time to get the knife free, then picks up a claw laying on the floor and saws through the ropes with it. Cordy: "Okay. Let's get out of here." Wesley runs after Cordy: "Follow me!" Barney hits Wesley with a right. Wesley fights back and actually doesn't do too bad. Wesley: "You! Butcher and innocent girl, will you? (Pushes his glasses up on his nose) I'm going to thrash you to within a inch of your life - and then I'm going to take that inch!" Lawyer walking up the hotel steps talking on her cell phone: "Our merchandise was just taken off the market. 3 guesses by whom." Angel is fighting the security guys, Wesley is pounding Barney against the floor. Barney rolls over and gets on top of Wesley. Cordy picks up a horn laying on the table and stabs him in the back with it. Cordy: "Feel this feeling creepo!" Barney gets off Wesley. Tries to grab Cordy but collapses face down on the floor. His body turns gray and crackles, then turns black and slowly deflates. Angel comes running up and Cordy gives him a quick hug. Cordy: "I never doubted for a minute that you'd find me." Angel: "Well, I was lucky. I had a rogue demon hunter on my side." Wesley: "Glad I could be of service." Cut to Angel's apartment. Cordy is ironing her wrinkled drawing. Cordy: "Not that he didn't have it coming. He was a horrible, evil monster." Angel cooking at the stove: "Hmm, he did kill a lot of people." Wesley packing his bag: "Viciously mutilated their corpses." Cordy putting the picture in a frame: "Plus he started the bidding on me at a paltry 2,000 dollars. (To Angel) This, I frame for saving my life, and as a reminder that something of Doyle's in our office." Wesley: "Well, I'll be off then. Angel. Who knows when our paths will cross again." Angel shakes his hand then reaches into the fridge: "Wesley." Wesley puts his jacket on. Cordy: "Do you even know where you're headed?" Wesley: "us rogue demon hunters rarely do. Wherever evil lurks, wherever the forces of darkness threaten humanity, that's where I'll be." Angel is setting the table and pouring a glass of orange juice for Cordy. Cordy: "Well, okay. Keep in touch." Wesley: "Yes. Yes, I will. (Picks up his bag) But now the evil lurking everywhere bids me onwards. (Looks back at Angel cooking and Cordy drinking her juice) So - I go." Cordy turns around: "Take care." Wesley: "Yes." Wesley slowly disappears around the corner to go up the steps. But after a moment strolls back into the room. Wesley: "No rest for the wicked fighters. Through storm and rain - heat - famine (looks at Angel putting some scrambled eggs on a plate) deep, painful, gnawing hunger - I go." Angel looks over at him: "Breakfast?" Wesley quickly puts down his bag and takes off his jacket: "Ooh - (eagerly hurries to the table) I suppose so." Cordy to Wesley: "One of the perks of the job. After an all-nighter of fighting the lurking evil - we get eggs." Angel sets a plate of eggs down in front of Wesley: "Toast?" Wesley: "Please!" Cordy: "I'm famished. He's a good cook for someone on a liquid diet." Wesley: "Astonishing, really. Mhm-mm. (To Angel) Did you say something about toast?" Angel sets a plate of toasted bread on the table, and both Cordy and Wesley grab a slice.

Plan: A: Doyle's death; Q: What event has left Angel and Cordelia reeling? A: just days ago; Q: When did Doyle die? A: Cordelia; Q: Who discovers that Doyle has passed on his gift of visions from The Powers That Be? A: Sunnydale; Q: Where did Wesley Wyndam-Pryce come from? A: Wesley Wyndam-Pryce; Q: Who is Buffy's former Watcher? A: now a demon hunter; Q: What is Wesley Wyndam-Pryce doing now? A: the same unbearable headaches; Q: What does Cordelia suffer from after Doyle's death? A: one; Q: How many of Angel's clients abduct Cordelia? A: a black-marketeer demon; Q: What is Barney's profession? A: Barney; Q: Who abducts Cordelia and auctions off her "seer's eyes"? A: Cordelia's new powers; Q: What does Barney learn about Cordelia? A: Wolfram & Hart; Q: Who is the representative from that auctions off Cordelia's eyes? A: Cordy's rescue; Q: What does Wesley assist Angel in? A: the Angel Investigations team; Q: What team does Wesley join? Summary: Still reeling from Doyle's death just days ago, Angel and Cordelia encounter an old friend from Sunnydale, Buffy's former Watcher, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, now a demon hunter. Meanwhile, Cordelia discovers that Doyle has passed on his gift of visions from The Powers That Be, which subject her to the same unbearable headaches that afflicted Doyle. When one of Angel's clients, a black-marketeer demon named Barney, learns of Cordelia's new powers, he abducts her and auctions off her "seer's eyes" to a group of wealthy demons and humans, including a representative from Wolfram & Hart. Wesley assists Angel in Cordy's rescue and effectively-if unofficially-joins the Angel Investigations team.

MUSIC IN: INT. HOTEL DINING AREA - DAY (MUSIC OVER ACTION/CAMERA PANS AROUND THE GUESTS) (SFX: ZIVA SLAPS TONY) TONY: Ow! ZIVA: We're not here to eat. We're here to protect the Director. TONY: Ziva, this is probably the most secure building in the whole country right now. CIA, DSS, ATF, F.B.I... the whole alphabet's here. Not to mention State Troopers, Metro Cops and NCIS' finest....me. (BEAT) And you. But "me" is hungry. These are public servants like us. This is free food. ZIVA: Some are defense contractors. TONY: Beltway Bandits who make a career of standing in front of the public trough. ZIVA: Politicians. TONY: Have you ever seen a skinny politician? ZIVA: Too late. Our guest of honor has just arrived. CONVENOR'S: (V.O.) Ladies and gentlemen, the retiring Secretary of Defense of the United States of America! (SFX: APPLAUSE) TONY: I'm going to get something to eat. (SFX: VOICES MURMUR B.G.) ZIVA: (SHOUTS) Director! (MUSIC OVER ACTION/ZIVA RUNS TO SHEPARD/ KNOCKS HER OUT OF HARM'S WAY) (SFX: VOICES B.G.) (MUSIC UP AND OUT) (THEME MUSIC UP OVER OPENING TITLE/SCENES/ CREDITS AND OUT) MUSIC IN: INT. DINING AREA - DAY TONY: Exactly thirty seven minutes... POLICEMAN: Yeah, that'll do. SHEPARD: Good morning, Gibbs. McGee. GIBBS: Director Shepard. SHEPARD: Our gatecrasher was a Marine. Sergeant Brian Wright. The hotel was in lockdown and he wasn't a registered guest. He took a dive from up there somewhere. SecDef staff are worried that it was an attempt on the life of their boss. GIBBS: Are we worried? SHEPARD: If it was an assassination attempt, he's a lousy assassin. He used his body as a weapon and missed by seventy-five feet. (V.O.) Ducky's doing the preliminaries. I've got Tony liaisoning between Metro (ON CAMERA) and hotel management. And we have a witness. Andy Nelson. Ziva's with him. He's an aide to a congressman. Nelson claims he was attacked by the deceased on the sixth floor just before the incident. GIBBS: Do you believe him? SHEPARD: He works for a politician. What do you think? I'm officially handing over. I've got my own fires to put out. This happened in our backyard. It's making a lot of people nervous. I'd appreciate a quick result on this one. (SHEPARD WALKS O.S.) MCGEE: The question is, did he jump or was he pushed? Guess that's what we're here to find out. GIBBS: Go. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: EXT. HOTEL - DAY NELSON: Enough. It's okay. ZIVA: Mister Nelson has been explaining how he got injured. NELSON: He just came at me. He hit me. I fell down and he ran away. GIBBS: Did you see him fall? NELSON: I just got out of there. I was down in the lobby to report it when he fell. ZIVA: Why were you on the sixth floor? NELSON: I was delivering a briefing paper to a defense contractor in one of the suites. Norforce Systems. I was walking towards the elevator. GIBBS: Did you see him before? GETZ: Every day. Congressman Getz. (BEAT) Well not the deceased, just sad souls like him. The homeless. ZIVA: Unconfirmed. GETZ: And a war veteran, or we'd be talking to Metro Police and not NCIS, Agent... GIBBS: Special Agent Gibbs, and he was a Marine. GETZ: We need to do more to help the ones who come back broken. GIBBS: Yes, you do. GETZ: Let's get that X-rayed, Andy. Unless Agent Gibbs has more questions about this unfortunate incident. (GETZ AND NELSON WALK O.S.) ZIVA: Did I just miss something? GIBBS: The Congressman thinks our Marine was crazy and jumped. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOTEL DINING AREA - DAY GIBBS: Dinozzo... TONY: Boss? GIBBS: Stop eating the evidence. TONY: Right, Boss. GIBBS: Got preliminaries? DUCKY: I find the ones who fall are the saddest. Such a long last moment to contemplate one's end. And no chance to change one's mind. Well, the injuries are consistent with a fall. But scraped knuckles, possibly in a fight before he went over the edge. Missing a shoe, no wallet, although he had some dollars in his pocket. And a begging note asking for help. The only real surprise is this.... a Bronze Star for valor. GIBBS: And a Purple Heart. DUCKY: Two Marine Stars, that means he was wounded three times in battle. I can't tell you why he died, but I can perhaps tell you how he lived. The man was a hero. (SFX: CELL PHONE RINGS) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, Gibbs. MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Hey, Boss. (INTO PHONE/FILTERED) I think this is where he launched. (INTO PHONE) Shoe must have come off when he went over the side. GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Okay. ZIVA: Nelson said he was back downstairs when Wright fell. The question is, what was Sergeant Wright doing? TONY: Deciding whether to jump. GIBBS: Photographs? TONY: Got it. GIBBS: Dinozzo. The stairs. ZIVA: Maybe the congressman was right. Maybe Sergeant Wright was crazy and jumped. GIBBS: Or the Director was right. Politicians lie. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) And we will need a copy of his medical records. ZIVA: You're disgusting. How can you eat that? TONY: You see, Ziva, the human body is a finely tuned engine. None more finely tuned than mine. Even the best engine needs oil. GIBBS: Dinozzo. TONY: Boss? GIBBS: Anything from the hotel registry? TONY: Seven hundred and two names. None of them Sergeant Wright. GIBBS: Ziva, the congressman's aide... ZIVA: Single. No criminal record. He worked for the congressman for the past seven years, and according to Norforce Systems, a briefing paper from the congressman's office was delivered to their suite, but they can't put a time on it. MCGEE: Boss, I just got off the phone with Wright's doctor in Bethesda. He did two tours in Iraq. He was wounded three times. Last time was the worst. His Humvee was hit by an IUD. Suffered shrapnel wounds to the head. He's been on medical leave for four months, but according to the hospital records, he's missed his last three weekly appointments. GIBBS: No one noticed? MCGEE: Said he fell through the cracks. GIBBS: Family? MCGEE: Divorced. No kids. His doctor said he stayed with friends, at hostels. Sometimes on the street. ZIVA: What kind of doctor? MCGEE: Psychiatrist. ZIVA: Treated for? MCGEE: Depression. TONY: Some way to treat a war hero. MCGEE: I thought Marines looked after their own? ZIVA: How does a homeless man get past the security agents, local cops, hotel staff, into a locked-down building? GIBBS: Well, maybe he was already there. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HALLWAY - DAY GIBBS: Luis Romero. ROMERO: Yeah. GIBBS: Special Agent Gibbs, NCIS. ROMERO: Is this about the jumper? GIBBS: So you saw him jump? ROMERO: No. GIBBS: But you saw him. ROMERO: No. MCGEE: Corporal Luis Romero, United States Marine Corps. One tour, Afghanistan. Honorable discharge eighteen months ago. Since then, hotel maintenance supervisor. ROMERO: So I'm a former Marine. Lot of guys are. MCGEE: Not at this hotel. GIBBS: We look after our own, don't we, Luis? ROMERO: All right. We served in the same unit three years ago. He didn't have a place to sleep. MCGEE: So where did you put him? ROMERO: Oh, we always got a couple rooms down for maintenance. Didn't see any harm in it. MCGEE: How long had he been here? ROMERO: A couple times a week for the last month. Didn't cause any trouble. Semper fi, you know? GIBBS: Show us the room. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY (SFX: ELECTRONIC BEEP) (DOOR OPENS) MCGEE: Wait at the door, please. Anyone else been in here? ROMERO: No, just him. MARIA: (V.O./FILTERED) Luis! Luis! ROMERO: (INTO PHONE) Yeah. MARIA: (V.O./FILTERED IN SPANISH) Something's happened! You need to come here quickly! ROMERO: Um... something's happened! (MUSIC OVER ACTION) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HALLWAY - DAY MARIA: (IN SPANISH) I don't believe it! I don't believe it! Luis, there! There in the room. In the bed. Mother of God... (GIBBS AND MCGEE WALK INTO THE ROOM) MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. LIMO - MOVING SHEPARD: (INTO PHONE) I understand, Chief, but we believe the two cases are linked. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY CHIEF: (V.O./FILTERED) Do they have any proof? SHEPARD: (V.O./INTO PHONE) No, not yet. We're still collecting evidence. CHIEF: (V.O./FILTERED) They'll send us a report? SHEPARD: (V.O./INTO PHONE) Yes, absolutely. CHIEF: (V.O./FILTERED) Okay. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LIMO - DAY SHEPARD: (INTO PHONE) And if anything changes, we will hand over everything we have. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY CHIEF: (V.O./FILTERED) So if you can't tie them together, you'll turn it over to my people? SHEPARD: (INTO PHONE) That's right. And cause of death hasn't been determined yet, either. CHIEF: (V.O./FILTERED) Fair enough. Let me know. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LIMO - DAY SHEPARD: (INTO PHONE) Thank you, Chief. I will. CHIEF: (V.O./FILTERED) Thank you.(SFX: MUFFLED HANG UP) SHEPARD: (INTO PHONE) Did you get all that, Jethro?(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Got it. SHEPARD: (V.O./FILTERED) Metro Police will want to see results. GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Add them to the list. (SCENE CUT) SHEPARD: (INTO PHONE) It's a long list. (SCENE CUT) SHEPARD: (V.O./FILTERED) And it's getting longer. GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Working on it.(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY ZIVA: There's something on her cheek. Looks like saliva. Kiss and kill. MCGEE: No bag. Maybe the killer took it. ZIVA: Maybe she just didn't have a bag. MCGEE: Every woman has a bag. ZIVA: Do I have a bag, McGee? MCGEE: No, but you're not a ... well, I mean, you're a woman. You're just... you're not.... not a normal.... (BEAT) You are right. Every woman does not have a bag. GIBBS: How old? ZIVA: No I.D. No pocketbook. And no bag, either. TONY: The room was booked to Michael Lo. Sounds Asian. Single occupancy. Room was paid for in cash in advance. MCGEE: Sounds fake. TONY: They're going to review the security tapes, and send us what they've got. MCGEE: Boss? GIBBS: Mister Romero, recognize this? ROMERO: It's um... the keycard I gave Sergeant Wright. It's a master key. It opens up every room in the hotel. (MUSIC UP AND OUT) MUSIC IN: INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY ZIVA: Are you okay? TONY: Never better. ZIVA: You look run-over. TONY: The term is rundown. I do? ZIVA: Maybe you need servicing. TONY: Clearly, we're still having some problems with the idiosyncrasies of the English language. ZIVA: The finely tuned engine, I think you called it. You should see a doctor. (SFX: CELL PHONE RINGS) TONY: (INTO PHONE) Hello? Hi! Yeah. No, it's not a bad time. This afternoon would be great. Well, I will see you then. Okay, 'bye. ZIVA: Two cell phones, huh? TONY: Uh... one for each ear. No, it's a spare. This one has sort of been on the fritz. That's another word you probably don't know the meaning of. ZIVA: Act up? TONY: I'm impressed. Uh... all right. I'm heading out. Going to see the doctor.... about being run-over. Down. ZIVA: Don't forget Fritz. TONY: Oh!! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. ABBY'S LAB - DAY ABBY: Fingerprints solve ten times more cases than DNA. Did you know that, McGee? MCGEE: Yeah, I told you. ABBY: You did? MCGEE: Yeah. ABBY: You did! You gotta love fingerprints. Especially this one from the keycard. A pristine index with the almost perfect whorl and three... I mean, count them, three, McGee, equally spaced deltas. Ah... it's a work of art. Then we have the short and curlies. The hair. There's no follicle, and no DNA. So I am checking it for drug history. If it is Sergeant Wright's, considering his extensive medical records, this should read like a drugstore inventory. And if it doesn't, he ain't our man. MCGEE: What price valor? ABBY: Eighteen bucks. For real. I looked it up on eBay. Bronze Star. Eighteen bucks. MCGEE: No wonder he got depressed and started living on the streets. And begging. One minute you're a hero, the next you're a... ABBY: Suspect. But don't give up on him yet, McGee. MCGEE: Whoa. ABBY: Where's Gibbs? (PASSAGE OF TIME) GIBBS: What am I looking at? ABBY: Nothing. GIBBS: Nothing? Nothing's good, right? MCGEE: Oh, yeah. Nothing is very good. ABBY: If this was Wright's hair, it would be like looking into a window of his drug history. But all this shows is... GIBBS: Unknown trace elements. ABBY: Too minute to be picked up by the mass spec equipment. So it's probably not Wright's. MCGEE: Oh, we can't be sure they're not there, unless we get a better microscope. ABBY: We're talking nano-particles, here, Gibbs. We need a... MCGEE: An infrared microspectroscopy unit. It's the only thing that gets down to the nano level. GIBBS: Okay, get one. MCGEE: They cost about a hundred grand. GIBBS: Yeah, so? SHEPARD: So it's not in the budget. Maybe next year. GIBBS: She needs one now! SHEPARD: Sorry. ABBY: I could haggle. My Uncle Horace, he was a great haggler. They used to call him Horace-the-Haggler. (LONG BEAT) Or I could borrow one. (LONG BEAT) I'll try and borrow one. (SFX: COMPUTER MESSAGE TONE) ABBY: It's the fingerprint from the keycard. MCGEE: Oh, that's not good. It puts him in the dead girl's room. SHEPARD: Sorry, Jethro. GIBBS: Find out who owns that. (TO SHEPARD) Come on. SHEPARD: Don't start. Do you know how many people want money for things? GIBBS: Did I say anything? (SHEPARD AND GIBBS WALK O.S.) MCGEE: How are you going to get loaned an infrared microspectroscopy unit? ABBY: Good question, McGee. Good question. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. STREET - DAY JEANNE: I love window shopping. How about you? TONY: Oh, yeah. Me, too. (BEAT) Only when I'm with you. JEANNE: Cold? TONY: It's invigorating. JEANNE: Chilly? TONY: Freezing. JEANNE: Oh, poor Tony. I dragged you out here to go window shopping. Next time maybe you should choose. TONY: Hot tub. JEANNE: I know something else we can do to stay warm. TONY: Really? JEANNE: Mmm. TONY: I wonder what that could be? VENDOR: (V.O.) One cappuccino, one latte. TONY: Coffee? JEANNE: Mmm. Dancing. TONY: Dancing? Dancing would make you warm. JEANNE: Then tonight we dance. TONY: Tonight. JEANNE: Don't tell me you have to work. TONY: Tonight dancing, tomorrow work. JEANNE: You don't seem too happy about that. TONY: I'm worried. JEANNE: Worried about what? TONY: Well, we're going dancing tonight, and I haven't got a thing to wear. JEANNE: Has anyone ever told you you're an idiot? TONY: Yeah, my boss, all the time. JEANNE: Hmm. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. CONVENTION CENTER - DAY (MUSIC OVER ACTION/ABBY WALKS THROUGH THE FAIR) ABBY: Oh, I'm sorry. MAN: Sorry. ABBY: Yes! PEARSON: Just leave it on the table. (SFX: ABBY PLACES THE CUP ON THE TABLE) PEARSON: That's not juice. ABBY: Well, the coffee bean comes from the coffee cherry. So that's technically a fruit. So the case could be made that coffee is more fruit than bean. It's coffee... juice. Caf-pow. PEARSON: Caf-pow? ABBY: Yeah. Two words hyphenated in the middle. PEARSON: Can I help you with something? ABBY: I was hoping to get a demonstration of your infrared microspectroscopy unit. PEARSON: You don't work here. ABBY: Like this place would hire me? PEARSON: Sorry. I'll set up a sample. ABBY: No, no. I have one. I brought my own. See, I work for NCIS in D.C. But we don't have anything that can get down to the nanogram level, which is what I need to figure out what the hell is going on with my sample. You don't mind that I said hell, do you? PEARSON: Hell, no. ABBY: Oh, good. I mean, some people do. And then you get into the whole hell, and death and dying mortality thing. It freaks them out. Can you help me? PEARSON: If you want to leave it with me. ABBY: No, no! I can't. Chain of evidence. I have to do it with you. Not with you, but alongside you. I have to be with you. I have to ....be with you while you do it. While you test it. PEARSON: I normally like to know who it is I'm working with. Marty Pearson. ABBY: Abby Sciuto. PEARSON: Nanograms, eh? ABBY: Yes. Pesky little nanograms. PEARSON: Is that a--? ABBY: Yes, it is. PEARSON: Cool! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN) (SFX: DRAWERS SLIDE OPEN/ CLOSED) LEE: Wright, Sergeant Brian. Records, medical. DUCKY: Oh, splendid. Uh... I'm a little post autopsy. Mister Palmer will sign it. LEE: Sure. DUCKY: We must get you down here more often, Agent Lee. There's always room for another bright young mind. Not that there's anything wrong with the legal department. It's an essential cog in the engine, so to speak. It can't be much fun for a hands-on type like you. GIBBS: You think? (LONG BEAT) Done? DUCKY: Done indeed. Intrigue, mystery, and a surprise or two. Yes, I've estimated our victim's age at about fourteen. Death was due to strangulation. She had bleeding in her throat, and the hyoid bone was fractured. There's some bruising on the sternum that has me a bit puzzled. Possibly postmortem... (DRAWER OPENS) GIBBS: Conscious? DUCKY: Well, superficial scratching and ante mortem bruising suggests that she put up a struggle of sorts. But toxicology indicates that she was drugged... and for some time. GIBBS: Hours? DUCKY: Well, possibly days. There are traces of sedatives, and Rohypnol, the drug of choice for date rapists. And before you ask the question... yes. She was. But he must have worn a condom. The really good news is that I've identified her. GIBBS: By name? DUCKY: No, by country. She's Chinese. Yes, you're less than impressed. But what if I told you that four weeks ago she was working on the family farm in a coastal region of southern China? In Fujian Province, to be precise. GIBBS: Well, now you have my attention, Doctor. DUCKY: It was her extremities that gave her away. The Chinese dentistry is quite distinctive. Her dental work is very new.... five, or maybe six weeks ago. And ... her feet are calloused, indicates that she was a farm worker. We also found traces of chromium six in her digestive tract. It's a bi-product of chlorate. It causes cancer and respiratory problems. Guess where the biggest chlorate chemical factory is in Asia? GIBBS: Fujian Province. DUCKY: Well, there you have it. The body as road map. GIBBS: Anything else? DUCKY: Yes. Her likely killer Sergeant Brian Wright. We had a positive DNA match from the saliva we swabbed from her. I'm afraid our hero is more than a little tarnished.(SFX: DRAWER OPENS) (MUSIC OUT) MUSIC IN: INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY MCGEE: How does a homeless guy who's staying illegally in a hotel order room service? TONY: This wouldn't be a trick question, would it, Probie? MCGEE: No. TONY: He calls room service. MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) Room service, hi. This is the homeless guy staying illegally in room six-oh-seven. Yes, the room shut down for maintenance. I'd like to order some breakfast. TONY: That was definitely a trick question. MCGEE: So give me a tricky answer. TONY: Somebody brought it to him. MCGEE: Not very tricky. I've got to talk to Ducky. (SFX: TONY MIMICS MCGEE) (SFX: ZIVA PLACES THE CASSETTES ON TONY'S DESK) TONY: What is with everybody today? (READS) Hallway camera D. The title needs work. Who's in it? ZIVA: Hopefully the Asian guy who booked the room. Looks like the doctor kept you... TONY: Busy waiting room. Lot of sleeping sickness going around. Or lack-of- sleeping sickness. GIBBS: Ducky thinks our victim is a Chinese National, probably in the country less than a few weeks. TONY: Well, her fingerprints drew a negative on the immigration database. So she's here illegally. ZIVA: Smuggled in. Maybe for the s*x trade. Asian, cute, underage. TONY: It's a goldmine! Pimp pays cash, sets her up in a room during a nice big convention, feeds her clients. ZIVA: And then one of them kills her. GIBBS: Sergeant Wright doesn't fit that profile. ZIVA: Wright didn't need to pay to get into the room. He had a magic key. He saw an opportunity. He took it. Perhaps because of his mental state he lost control. And afterwards, regret, and he took his own life. TONY: Fits the facts, Boss. GIBBS: Only the facts we know, Dinozzo. Any word from Abby? TONY: Not a peep. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. CONVENTION CENTER - DAY ABBY: I've got to get one of these babies. PEARSON: Looks like trace elements of aluminum hydroxide and formalin. ABBY: Aluminum hydroxide stimulates the immune system. And formalin is a preservative. PEARSON: It's also used to initiate antibody formation in vaccines. (BEAT) Did I just say something funny? ABBY: No. No. I just... it's just that we're having this conversation about stuff that usually makes people run screaming from the room. But we're talking about it like it was last night's football game. You don't like football, do you? PEARSON: No. ABBY: Oh, good. It's just nice that you understand without having to go find a dictionary. You said vaccines? PEARSON: I said vaccines. ABBY: That's got to be it. The vaccine for what? PEARSON: Aluminum hydroxide is used as an adjuvant in Hepatitis A and Lyme Disease. ABBY: There's traces of chloride. PEARSON: Not just any old chloride. Benzethonium chloride. It's a preservative. ABBY: Aluminum hydroxide, formalin, and benzethonium chloride. I know that combination. PEARSON: How do you know that combination? ABBY: I don't know. It must have come through my lab or something. PEARSON: The only thing I can think of using benzethonium chloride for as a preservative is... anthrax vaccine. ABBY: Ooh, anthrax. Breathe in the spores and you die. PEARSON: You don't have an unhealthy obsession with death now, do you? ABBY: Oh, no. No. It's just a hobby. Anthrax vaccine. That's why I knew it. I got one right here. Ow. Pain memory response. PEARSON: So... good or bad for your Marine? ABBY: It's bad. Very bad. A lot of Marines were vaccinated for anthrax after Nine Eleven. I have to make a phone call. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. ABBY'S LAB - DAY MCGEE: Boss, hey. GIBBS: Sergeant Wright's autopsy report? MCGEE: Yeah. I was checking something. Something didn't fit. It's just a theory. But it's about what Wright ate. GIBBS: What did he eat? MCGEE: Nothing. Not since the night before. I asked Ducky. But the room service tray on the bed was half-finished. Which raises another question. How did he get room service if he wasn't supposed to be in a room in the first place? GIBBS: Yeah, go on. MCGEE: People leave trays outside their doors. I think that he found one that was half finished. He took it back to his room. Something must have happened before he could eat it. Wright's begging note. GIBBS: Or somebody else's. MCGEE: Hidden under a plate on the tray. And he found it. Must be why he went back to the room. Once a hero, always a hero. (SFX: CELL PHONE RINGS) MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) McGee.(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) (SCENE CUT) ABBY: (INTO PHONE) McGee, it's Abby. I need you to pull Wright's medical records. (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) One second. I got it. What do you need? ABBY: (V.O./FILTERED) I'm checking for an anthrax vaccine. (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Let's see... (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) It's negative. (SCENE CUT) ABBY: (INTO PHONE) Yes! Oh, McGee, it's not Wright's sample. (SCENE CUT) MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) I'll tell him. Thank you. (TO GIBBS) Boss, the hair found on the victim indicates the killer had an anthrax vaccination. Wright never had one.(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. CONVENTION CENTER - DAY PEARSON: Chalk another one up to science! ABBY: Ah, I could not have done it without the IMS. And... and you. PEARSON: So... who do I make the receipt out to? ABBY: Oh, um...oh, I feel really bad, Marty. And you worked really hard on this. I um... PEARSON: Hmm. Do you bowl? ABBY: Are you kidding me?! I am the queen of the alley! PEARSON: You know they've got a bowling alley right downstairs. ABBY: In the hotel? PEARSON: Right next to the indoor pool. Or.... we could do dinner. ABBY: Oh, no! You're just afraid of getting your butt kicked on the lanes. PEARSON: You are on, lady! ABBY: I can't believe you bowl! PEARSON: Why not? ABBY: It's just... it's such a coincidence. Are you a three-quarter or a full roller? PEARSON: It makes no difference to me. I've got a delicate touch. (SFX: ABBY GIGGLES) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY ZIVA: So the hair wasn't Wright's, but the saliva definitely was. DNA match. He was kissing the girl. GIBBS: There's more than one reason to kiss a girl. TONY: There is? MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY (PHONE RINGS) DUCKY: (INTO PHONE) Autopsy.(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) I've got a question for you. DUCKY: (V.O./FILTERED) I can't guarantee.... Special Agent DUCKY: (INTO PHONE) ... I've got an answer. GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) The bruising on the girl's ... (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) .... sternum. Could it be from CPR? DUCKY: (V.O./FILTERED) Very... (SCENE CUT) DUCKY: (INTO PHONE) ....possibly. This is most probable when you weigh all the other evidence. (SCENE CUT) DUCKY: (V.O./FILTERED) It would explain how Wright's ... (SCENE CUT) DUCKY: (INTO PHONE) ... saliva came to be on her. (SCENE CUT) DUCKY: (V.O./FILTERED) I'll have to confirm that, of course. But... (SCENE CUT) DUCKY: (INTO PHONE) ... yes, that could be your answer. CPR. Which means Wright was trying to kill her, he was trying to save her. (SCENE CUT) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Let me know when you get a confirmation.(END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) TONY: So we're looking for someone with an anthrax vaccine. ZIVA: Instead of one suspect, we now have half a million - all of them military. TONY: Maintenance guy? MCGEE: Fixing a leak in the kitchen. Chefs were tripping over him all day. TONY: Scratch Romero. MCGEE: After Nine Eleven, anthrax was sent through the mail. Most people at risk were vaccinated: Pentagon officials, Senators, Congressmen. TONY: Everybody at the reception. GIBBS: And people who open their mail. NELSON: (V.O.) Yes, I had an anthrax.... [SCENE_BREAK] INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY NELSON: ... vaccination. Along with most everyone on The Hill, Agent Gibbs. They were troubling times. GIBBS: They still are. ABBY: After you delivered the briefing papers to Norforce Systems, what did you do? NELSON: I walked down the hallway toward the elevator, and that's where Wright attacked me. ZIVA: Norforce Systems' suite was right next to the elevator. Do you want to try this again? NELSON: Do I need a lawyer? GIBBS: Only if you're feeling guilty. ZIVA: You were walking towards the elevator because you were not coming from Norforce Systems, you were coming from a room down the hallway. NELSON: No! ZIVA: Yes! A room where an underage girl was killed! NELSON: And you think I'm responsible? GIBBS: If you're not, then you won't mind giving us a hair sample. ZIVA: The killer left a calling card and we think your name is on it. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY (MUSIC OVER ACTION/TONY WATCHES VIDEO FOOTAGE) (SFX: TONY JUMPS FROM HIS CHAIR) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. INTERROGATION ROOM NELSON: This is outrageous! I was attacked by a violent, unstable, man! If you're looking for a murderer, you should be looking at him, and not me! ZIVA: Are you refusing to voluntarily give us a hair sample, Mister Nelson? Because if you are, we can just get a court order. NELSON: I didn't kill anyone! (DOOR OPENS) TONY: Boss? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY TONY: Eight seventeen. They're all reacting to the same thing. ZIVA: Wright dropping in for breakfast? TONY: Nelson might have killed the girl, but there's no way he killed Wright, Boss. (MUSIC UP AND OUT) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY (DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES) NELSON: I want to make a phone call! GIBBS: Lawyer? NELSON: Someone much more powerful. GIBBS: Your boss? Underage. Illegal. Dead. You really think your boss wants to talk to you? Did you kill her before or after you pushed Sergeant Wright? NELSON: I didn't kill her. I didn't push Sergeant Wright. I was on the ground floor when he jumped! GIBBS: You went to the room. Trying to save her, you attacked him. NELSON: No. GIBBS: You raped her. (BEAT) You killed her. You threw Sergeant Wright off the balcony. NELSON: (SHOUTS) I never saw Sergeant Wright!! GIBBS: Then how did he attack you? NELSON: She hit me with the lamp. I was just trying.... just trying to stop her. I had to explain this somehow, so I said Wright attacked me. GIBBS: Who took you up to her room? NELSON: No one. I um... I met him outside the hotel. Paid him. And he gave me the key card. GIBBS: A regular client? Different girls every time? NELSON: Different girls. I ran into him downstairs.... at the elevator. And I told him she was dead. He went up. GIBBS: Name. (SHOUTS) Name!! MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY TONY: (V.O.) Davey Chen Importing Company. ZIVA: Kept himself pretty clean. A couple of misdemeanors. No felonies. Nothing to suggest he was involved in the s*x trade of underage girls. MCGEE: Got enough to arrest him for murder? ZIVA: No physical evidence. His word against Nelson's. TONY: Well, let's go kick his door down and find some evidence. GIBBS: We do that, Tony, we lose those girls. ZIVA: Could have lost them already. Slave traders move their girls all the time. They could be on their way to Vegas now. Or dead. TONY: Send someone in undercover. ZIVA: I'll do it. GIBBS: No. We need someone closer to home. Dinozzo! TONY: Boss. GIBBS: Get me twenty-five thousand dollars. TONY: Check or plastic? GIBBS: Cash. GIBBS: On it. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. AUTOPSY ROOM - DAY (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN) DUCKY: Mister Palmer, where did you and -- (DOOR OPENS) JIMMY: Oh, sorry, Doctor! DUCKY: Where did you and Agent Lee go? JIMMY: I didn't go anywhere with Agent Lee. I signed Sergeant Wright's medical records, and then she left. DUCKY: Did she sprint out of here? JIMMY: Yeah, she was in a hurry. DUCKY: Well, evidently so were you! When I looked up from washing my hands, both you and she had disappeared, and Agent Gibbs was standing here. Where did you hurry off to? JIMMY: The restroom. I... DUCKY: And you've been in there all this time? JIMMY: I have a ... a gastrointestinal challenge. DUCKY: Oh! Well, I believe there's a bottle of subsalisate... JIMMY: I drank that! DUCKY: What? All of it? JIMMY: I didn't want to spend the whole day sitting in the restroom. That won't hurt me, will it? DUCKY: Well, no. But you're going to feel as if you've been on bread and water for a week. JIMMY: Pardon? DUCKY: Well, the old Naval punishment of bread and water for a week was not to punish by depriving the offending sailor of food, as much as to plug up his gastrointestinal tract. JIMMY: (LOUDLY) Oh, that is awful! Ah! DUCKY: Mister Palmer, I'm not deaf. JIMMY: I'm sorry, Doctor. Just the thought of punishing someone that way just sounds so... uncivilized. DUCKY: Did those doors just open and shut? JIMMY: I don't think so. No. DUCKY: Strange. Very strange. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. SQUAD ROOM - DAY (SFX: DOORS SLIDE OPEN) TONY: It's just that she's never been undercover, Boss. GIBBS: She's a highly trained NCIS Special Agent. TONY: She's more probie than even Probie. GIBBS: She's got excellent backup. TONY: Me? GIBBS: Ziva. SHEPARD: You are causing quite a stir on The Hill. Underage dead girls and Congressional aides make people nervous. GIBBS: Good. MCGEE: Well, she looks the part, just like a... ZIVA: Whore? MCGEE: ...Courtesan. ZIVA: Oh. GIBBS: Are you sure you're ready for this? LEE: I saw the girl in autopsy. Yeah, I'm ready. GIBBS: Okay, McGee. MCGEE: Separate radio transmitter and GPS built into the lining. Pressure switch on the handle turns it off if they sweep for bugs. Turns it back on when they're finished. SHEPARD: Chen's going to be suspicious of everyone. Particularly if someone like Agent Lee shows up. We need something else, McGee. MCGEE: Got just the thing, Boss. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. OUTSIDE ELEVATOR - DAY (SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/ DOORS SLIDE OPEN/ CLOSED) TONY: Hey, Jimmy. JIMMY: Hey. (ELEVATOR DINGS/ DOORS SLIDE CLOSED) [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. ALLEY - DAY (MUSIC OVER ACTION/CAMERA PANS THE ALLEY) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. CAR - PARKED GIBBS: (INTO MIC) Dinozzo? [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. ALLEY - DAY TONY: (FILTERED) In position, Boss. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. STREET - DAY CHEN: (INTO PHONE/IN MANDARIN) What's the problem? Don't worry, I'll fix it. But tell me this... Why is he asking you about this? How can you be so stupid? You have to listen to me! (DOOR OPENS) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. CAR - PARKED GIBBS: (INTO MIC) Target has entered the building. [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. ALLEY - DAY MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) GPS... [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY MCGEE: ... locked on. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. CAR - PARKED SHEPARD: (V.O./FILTERED) MTAC is standing by, Agent Gibbs. It's your call. GIBBS: (INTO MIC) We are in play. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY (DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES) LEE: Excuse me! CHEN: We're closed. LEE: Even for a cash customer, Mister Chen? CHEN: What do you want? LEE: (IN MANDARIN) My sister. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY CHEN: (V.O./FILTERED) Who are you? I don't know you or your sister? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY LEE: Maybe this will help you remember. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY (SFX: STEADY BEEP TONES) MCGEE: She's killed the transmission. They're sweeping her for bugs. She'll resume the transmission when it's clear. GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) Stand by-- [SCENE_BREAK] INT. CAR - DAY GIBBS: (INTO MIC)...Tony. No contact, in thirty seconds we're going in. TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) Gotcha Boss. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY MCGEE: Fifteen seconds. (LONG BEAT) Twenty seconds. (LONG BEAT) Twenty-five seconds. SHEPARD: Come on, Lee. Turn us back on. LEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Twenty-five thousand dollars. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY LEE: Another twenty-five when I get my sister back. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. CAR - PARKED CHEN: (V.O./FILTERED) And what makes you think I have your sister? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY LEE: It must be another Davey Chen I'm looking for. CHEN: What's her name? LEE: She's fourteen years old from Fujian Province. I don't know what you call her, but my family calls her Xiu Mei. CHEN: You're a long way from home. LEE: So is she. But I wasn't abducted off my parents' farm. CHEN: Too old. That's a lot of money for the daughter of a farmer. LEE: I work in Shanghai. I'm good at what I do. American businessmen show their appreciation. Do we have a deal? CHEN: Come with me. (MUSIC OVER ACTION/LEE WALKS TO THE BACK ROOM) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY MCGEE: Game on. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. BACK ROOM - DAY (DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY MCGEE: We've lost the signal. SHEPARD: She turned it off? MCGEE: I can't tell. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. BACK ROOM - DAY CHEN: Who do you work for? LEE: I'm here for my sister. (SFX: CHEN SLAPS LEE) LEE: Ah! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. CAR - PARKED GIBBS: Talk to me, McGee. MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Yeah, working on it, Boss. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. BACK ROOM - DAY (MUSIC OVER ACTION/CHEN UNCOVERS THE TRANSMITTER) CHEN: F.B.I.? Police? LEE: You don't think I came alone, do you? CHEN: You're alone now. They can't hear you. This room is protected against bugs. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY MCGEE: That's her backup camera. SHEPARD: There's interference. MCGEE: They're in a screened room. It's jamming the signal. SHEPARD: (INTO MIC) Gibbs, we've got a problem. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. CAR - DAY GIBBS: Dinozzo, cover the back door! We're going in! (DOOR OPENS) [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. ALLEY - DAY TONY: (INTO MIC) Got it. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY MCGEE: She's moving. Exiting a door. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: EXT. ALLEY - DAY (MUSIC OVER ACTION) (DOOR OPENS) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY (MUSIC OVER ACTION/GIBBS AND ZIVA SEARCH THE WAREHOUSE) GIBBS: Clear! ZIVA: Clear! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. BACK ROOM - DAY (DOOR OPENS) GIBBS: Clear. (INTO MIC) Dinozzo, they're gone. Anything? [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. ALLEY - DAY TONY: (INTO MIC) Nothing, Boss. They didn't come out this way. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY SHEPARD: (INTO MIC) We're only getting intermittent video signals. MCGEE: Aerial surveillance is negative. They're definitely on the move. (INTERCUT WAREHOUSE SCENE) SHEPARD: (INTO MIC) Gibbs, check for a basement entrance. They've gone underground. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. BACK ROOM - DAY ZIVA: What exactly are we looking for? GIBBS: Trapdoor. Anything. MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: UNDERGROUND TUNNEL - DAY (MUSIC OVER ACTION) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY MCGEE: All right, we're getting picture back. Maybe some kind of tunnel. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TUNNEL - DAY (DOOR OPENS) (MUSIC OVER ACTION) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY MCGEE: (V.O.) There! (ON CAMERA) Playing it back. SHEPARD: (READS) T-O-L-L- something. MCGEE: Could be an "I". Maybe a "K." SHEPARD: Toll ... Tollbridge Trading! Women's shoes. (SFX: KEYBOARDING) MCGEE: Twenty-five seventy Third Street Northwest. SHEPARD: (INTO MIC) Jethro, twenty-five -- [SCENE_BREAK] INT. BACK ROOM - DAY SHEPARD: (V.O./FILTERED) .... seventy Third Street, Northwest. ZIVA: Gibbs. (SFX: ZIVA SLIDES A CABINET) ZIVA: Clear! GIBBS: (INTO MIC) Tony, go! Go! We've got the tunnel. TONY: (V.O./FILTERED) Okay! [SCENE_BREAK] EXT. ALLEY - DAY TONY: (INTO MIC) Two minutes, Boss.(MUSIC OVER ACTION) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LOADING DOCK - DAY CHEN: (IN MANDARIN) Hurry up, we have to go. [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TUNNEL - DAY (MUSIC OVER ACTION/ZIVA AND GIBBS RUN DOWN THE HALLWAY) MUSICAL BRIDGE TO: INT. LOADING DOCK - DAY LEE: What is this? A warehouse? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY SHEPARD: He's shutting down his operation! [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TUNNEL - DAY (MUSIC OVER ACTION/ZIVA AND GIBBS RUN UP THE STAIRS) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LOADING DOCK - DAY LEE: Where are the girls? CHEN: Put her in the truck along with the others. (SFX: LEE STRUGGLES WITH THE BODYGUARD) TONY: (SHOUTS) Federal agents! GIBBS: Freeze! (SFX: LEE AND THE BODYGUARD FIGHT) (SFX: SHOUTING) TONY: (V.O.) Stay down! GIBBS: Put the weapon down. TONY: Nice work, Probie. LEE: They're in the truck. (SFX: CONTAINER DOORS OPEN) (SFX: GIRLS VOICES B.G.) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. MTAC - DAY GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED) Unbelievable. (SFX: SURPRISED VOICES B.G.) [SCENE_BREAK] INT. LOADING AREA - DAY (SFX: GIRLS B.G.) CHEN: (IN MANDARIN) The bum tried to be a hero. LEE: The bum tried to be a hero. GIBBS: Brian Wright. Sergeant Brian Wright. Bronze Star. Purple Heart. United States Marine Corps. He was a hero. (MUSIC OVER ACTION/GIRLS WALK FROM THE CONTAINER) (MUSIC UP AND OUT)

Plan: A: A decorated Marine veteran; Q: Who fell from a hotel floor? A: agency directors; Q: What was the conference of? A: Jenny Shepard; Q: Who was at the conference that the Marine fell from? A: Ziva; Q: Along with Tony, who was on security detail at the conference? A: the NCIS team; Q: Who must find out what happened to the Marine? A: suicide; Q: What did the Marine not commit? A: Iraq; Q: Where was the Marine injured? A: the victim's personal belongings; Q: What did the NCIS team go through to find evidence against the Marine? A: compromising evidence; Q: What did the NCIS team find against the Marine? A: the man's innocence; Q: What is Gibbs determined to prove? Summary: A decorated Marine veteran falls from a floor of a hotel during a conference of agency directors (that included Jenny Shepard) while Tony and Ziva were on security detail and the NCIS team must find out what happened to him. Soon they realize that the Marine did not commit suicide and that he was homeless, having lost everything after being injured while serving in Iraq. Having gone through the victim's personal belongings, the team soon find compromising evidence against him but Gibbs is determined to prove the man's innocence by any means necessary.

LUCAS: (v.o) Previously on One Tree Hill. [EXT. GRAVEYARD - ANNA SAYWER'S GRAVE - DAY] (Close-up of Anna's gravestone. Peyton lays a rose on the ground beneath it. The camera pans up to her sad face. She stands up slowly and we see two Peyton's in the shot; Peyton in her red jacket and another one standing behind, dressed as the angel of death again. She's wearing a smirk.) ANGEL OF DEATH (AOD) PEYTON: Better make room. (Peyton whirls around and faces herself.) AOD PEYTON: (beat) Your other mom should be dead soon. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SAWYER RESIDENCE - PEYTON'S BEDROOM - DAY] (There's a knock on the door and Peyton jerks awake with a gasp. The knocking continues. It turns into bangs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DAVIS SCOTT APARTMENT - FRONT DOOR - DAY] (Haley opens the door tiredly.) HALEY: (confused) Hi, can I help you? (Cut to the people in the doorway. The manager from Suburban Filth and two cops stand there.) MANAGER: That's one of our shirts. (Cut back to Haley who's wearing a blue tank top with 'TEAM FILTH' scrawled across the front. She looks down at the shirt.) COP: Young lady, you're under arrest for the possession of stolen property. (walks into the apartment) HALEY: What?! COP: Yes. (He turns Haley around so that he can cuff her.) HALEY: No, no, no! I just needed something to sleep in! Brooke- (suddenly realises) BROOOOKE! END OF TEASER: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. NEW BRUNSWICK COUNTY JAIL - JAIL CELL - DAY] (A guard slams the door shut. Brooke, Haley and Peyton are seen through the bars.) BROOKE: (shakes head) This is so Broke Down Palace. HALEY: I can't believe I got arrested for wearing a stupid tank top! BROOKE: Well I told you you shoulda done your laundry. HALEY: (lowers her legs and faces Brooke) I got arrested for wearing one of your stupid tank tops; that you stole! BROOKE: Well, sheesh! (to Peyton) I guess we know who the cell-block tough's gonna be. HALEY: Brooke! This isn't funny, this is going on my permanent record on my college transcript and I am (raises her hand) this close to beating your ass right now. (Peyton grabs Haley and pulls her away, off the bench.) PEYTON: OK, alright, calm down. (Peyton drags her to a part of the cell where another woman is sitting.) WOMAN: (warningly) Uh-uh! PEYTON: (lets go of Haley and they move away) Sorry. (They walk to the other end of the cell.) PEYTON: Look, I talked to them, I told them that the store ripped off Brooke's designs so... all we have to do is pay them back for the clothes and we can go... so. (Brooke smiles and makes a face.) PEYTON: Whaddaya wanna do? HALEY: Well we should call somebody, like, our parents. BROOKE: Mine are in California. (rolls her eyes) HALEY: Mine are in an RV, somewhere. (sighs and paces) PEYTON: Mine's out to sea... or... dead or... vanished. (Haley picks up the receiver.) OPERATOR: (through the phone) Operator. HALEY: Hi, collect call, please. (Brooke and Peyton watch her expectantly.) OPERATOR: (through the phone) Party's name? HALEY: Nathan Scott. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RECORDING STUDIO - VIEWING ROOM - DAY] (Nathan is talking on the phone.) NATHAN: Whaddaya mean you need money? (frowns and listens) You know what, you're gonna rot in jail then... coz you're not getting another dime outta me. (pause) Aren't you supposed to be in the studio right now? (Chris leans over and knocks on the window.) CHRIS: (talks into his phone) I am. (Nathan turns to him.) CHRIS: I just figured it'd be better if I told you on the phone. (He holds his hands up.) CHRIS: Now, just relax, I'm coming in. (Nathan glares and shuts his phone. Chris walks in and does the same.) CHRIS: OK, here's the deal; you gave me the money, I had the money... then I lost the money... playing poker. NATHAN: (turns away and groans) Forget jail, call the morgue! I gave you two-thousand dollars! CHRIS: I can get it back. I talked to the guy I lost it to. I just need a ride. It's about... eighty miles from here. NATHAN: No way. CHRIS: OK, I figured you'd say that too and I guess it's cool... it's just that without the money, the studio won't release Haley's masters. (Nathan closes his eyes and sighs.) CHRIS: That's the not-so-cool part. But listen, you give me a ride; I'll get the money back. I promise. NATHAN: (sighs) Eighty miles... you don't speak. (Chris grins widely.) NATHAN: Let's go. CHRIS: Sweet! (raises his hand and follows Nathan to the door) Road trip, Nate. (pause) Right, road trip? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. NEW BRUNSWICK COUNTY JAIL - JAIL CELL - DAY] (Peyton is sitting, Brooke is pacing and Haley's still on the phone.) HALEY: OK, thank you, oh, and Brooke keeps some extra cash under her bed in the drawer. (pause) OK, hurry, please! Thank you. (She hangs up. Brooke grins.) BROOKE: Great! So Nathan's coming. HALEY: Um, yeah, I-I couldn't get a hold of Nathan. I had to... call Lucas. (smiles and sits beside Peyton) BROOKE: Haley, if he goes in that drawer, he's gonna find all the letters I wrote him last summer! PEYTON: (tired) Good. (Brooke glares.) PEYTON: It could be the best thing for you. BROOKE: It could be the worst thing for me! PEYTON: (shrugs and grins) One or the other. (Brooke sighs and turns away.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM - DAY] (Close-up of a stack of tapes. The camera pans down to the TV where one of the tapes is being played. It is of an off-licence counter as people buy alcohol. The tape fast-forwards and the camera pans to show Dan standing at the TV. He pauses the tape and stares. The camera zooms in on him slowly.) DAN: (to himself) Well, well. So that's who tried to kill me. FADE TO BLACK: COMMERCIAL SET: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. NEW BRUNSWICK COUNTY JAIL - JAIL CELL - DAY] (The guard opens the door again.) GUARD: OK, girls, lets go(!) (Haley and Peyton exit. As Brooke tries to, the guard slams her arm between the exit, stopping Brooke.) GUARD: Not you, Martha Stewart. BROOKE: What? Why? GUARD: The kid with the cash; (shuts the door again) only paid for the other two. (She locks the door and walks away.) BROOKE: Wait! [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. NEW BRUNSWICK COUNTY JAIL - ENTRANCE - DAY] (Lucas walks forward when Haley and Peyton exit.) LUCAS: You guys alright? HALEY: (looking behind distractedly) Yeah, um, Lucas, did you not pay for Brooke? LUCAS: I paid for her; I just had them wait an extra ten minutes before they let her go. (Both girls gape at him.) PEYTON: (follows him) So, you're just screwing with her? LUCAS: And you don't think she's screwed with me?! Non-exclusive dating, the costume for the masquerade party... that Fantasy Boy Draft (makes air quotes) misunderstanding. Look, I've done everything she's asked me to do since she got back and what do I get? Oo, front row seat to her and Keller in bed together. HALEY: Well, (sighs) Luke, wait, just stop! OK? (he turns to her) It's not like you don't have a right to be upset but... at least wait five minutes and talk to her and then give her a ride home. LUCAS: Can't do. Are you guys coming? HALEY: I-I gotta be at the studio right now and I can't wait for her. PEYTON: It's OK. I'll wait for her. HALEY: (grateful) OK, thank you. (shoots Lucas a nasty side-eye as she walks past) PEYTON: Lucas, what am I supposed to tell Brooke? LUCAS: (pause) Tell her to call Chris Keller. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. NATHAN'S CAR - THE ROAD - DAY] (Chris and Nathan are sitting there in silence.) CHRIS: Dude, we seriously need some tunes. (Chris pushes the tape in.) NATHAN: No, don't! (Too late. The tape's already playing and the same song that played when Nathan and Lucas took the trip to Charlotte plays.) NATHAN: (groans) It's jammed! CHRIS: (uncaring) Oh, come on, man, what's a road trip without some road tunes! (Nathan brakes hard and the car squeals to a stop. He turns the radio off.) NATHAN: Listen to me; this is not a road trip. This is a business trip to fix your screw-up. Now we get the money, we get Haley's song and if you're lucky... I don't rearrange your face. CHRIS: (sourly) Fine. (Nathan puts the car into gear again.) CHRIS: (groaning) Jeez(!) (turns the radio back on and the song continues) (Nathan continues to drive in silence.) CHRIS: By the way, how's your poker game? NATHAN: Why? CHRIS: Just, that's how we're gonna get the money back. (pause) Playing poker. (Nathan waits a beat before braking again, harder. The car stops, Chris flies forward and then backward.) CHRIS: Oh, ow! (The tape flies out of the deck.) CHRIS: (distracted) Hey, I fixed it. NATHAN: All you had to do was keep your word and you couldn't do it; take the money, pay the studio and help Haley! CHRIS: I am trying to help! (shows some money) Its a hundred dollar buy-in, I got about five-hundred bucks. (Nathan sighs and shakes his head.) CHRIS: OK, it either this or you can say goodbye to Haley's demo. (They wait for a moment. Nathan angrily shoves the car into gear and starts driving again.) NATHAN: (confused) I though you said you lost all the money. CHRIS: Oh, I did. (nods) This is the money your dad paid me last week to seduce Haley. (Nathan hits the brakes again. Chris flies forward and backward harshly.) CHRIS: OW! Man, my head! I wasn't gonna do it! [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. COUNCIL BUILDING - MAYORAL OFFICE - DAY] (Close-up of the TV as Dan's face shows up on it.) MAN: (v.o) Dan Scott would have you believe that he's the 'family first' candidate for Tree Hill mayor. (The clip of Dan shoving Nathan against the locker plays.) MAN: It's a good thing his son can't vote. (The add cuts to a picture of Karen shaking someone off-screen's hand.) MAN: Karen Roe, the smart choice. (Karen walks into the room whilst putting her earring on.) MAN: The caring choice. (She stops when she sees Dan watching the ad. She walks to him.) DAN: You must be pleased with yourself. (Cut back to the TV as Karen shakes more hands. It finally fades to a picture of herself.) MAN: Brought to you by the people of Karen Roe. DAN: I guess I should thank you. I mean this... little commercial of yours; this could bring me a whole new batch of viewers - wife beaters, S&M freaks. KAREN: Who're you kidding? You're in trouble and you know it. (Dan smirks and waves a tape at her.) DAN: I wouldn't be so sure. (He walks towards the TV.) DAN: This afternoon, when the polls open and we give our final speeches, you're gonna concede. KAREN: Really? Or what? DAN: Or I'm gonna show the public who tried to kill me. (He bends down and inserts the tape into the VCR. He walks to her and plays the tape.) DAN: Notice the time and date stamp. Day of the fire, a few hours before. (He fast-forwards.) DAN: And wait for it, this is the good part. (Karen's eyes widen and Dan smirks.) DAN: Gentlemen, we have a winner. (Karen is shocked as Dan continues.) DAN: I believe that's the same brand of booze used to poison me. (pause) And I believe that's someone you care about buying it - someone with motive. (Karen doesn't say anything. Dan stops the tape and walks back to the TV.) DAN: Ah, the tangled web we weave. (He ejects the tape and takes it back. Dan walks back to her.) DAN: Oh, when you concede today,... make sure you say nice things about me. (Karen remains motionless as Dan exits.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAVIS SCOTT APARTMENT - BROOKE AND HALEY'S BEDROOM - DAY] (Brooke runs into her bedroom and throws the covers of her bed up.) BROOKE: (frantic) Oh, please be there, come on. (She pulls the drawer opens and takes the box out.) BROOKE: (sighs in relief) Oh, thank god(!) (She flips through them to make sure that they're all still there. She finds what she's looking for and sighs in relief again, thinking.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. ROE RESIDENCE - LUCAS' BEDROOM - DAY] (Close-up of Lucas' phone. He's brought up Brooke's contact and presses the button to delete it. It asks him whether he wants to and he clicks yes. He shuts the phone. There's a knock on the door and he looks at it.) (It opens and Brooke walks it uncertainly.) BROOKE: Hi. (Lucas looks away.) BROOKE: How are you? (He doesn't answer.) BROOKE: ... Right, OK. (She closes the door behind her and walks in.) BROOKE: I don't know what to say other than I'm so sorry. LUCAS: (standing) You have nothing to apologise for. We weren't together. BROOKE: Luke- LUCAS: I just didn't know non-exclusive meant; hell,... I'm gonna sleep with Chris Keller. (laughs) Pretty skanky move, Brooke. BROOKE: (pause) I am sorry. I am sorry that I did it and I am sorry that you had to see it. (His expression says that he doesn't believe her.) BROOKE: But you are looking at me, right now, like I am so much worse than you and you were with Peyton while we were dating! LUCAS: I didn't sleep with Peyton. BROOKE: (hurt) No, but you slept with Nikki. LUCAS: (shrugs) I didn't have feelings for you then. I guess that's my answer. BROOKE: (tearfully) No, it's not, Lucas. I care about you so much! LUCAS: Well, you have a hell of a way of showing it. (crosses arms) BROOKE: I don't know why I did it, OK? I, um,... I mean, yeah, I-I was drinking and I was jealous that you were with Rachel but I think... it was really just because I was really afraid to get close to you again. LUCAS: (coldly) Well, you don't have to worry about that now. (Brooke gapes.) LUCAS: Do you? BROOKE: I didn't expect you to be kind about this but seeing you this way... it's even worse than I thought it would be. LUCAS: ... Good. (He turns his back to her. Brooke waits for a few seconds before turning and leaving his bedroom.) FADE TO BLACK: COMMERCIAL SET: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RECORDING STUDIO - RECORDING ROOM - DAY] (Haley is at a piano, playing. The phone rings and a guy walks in, holding it.) GUY: Haley, there's a call for Chris. Is he coming in today? HALEY: (keeps playing) Uh, he's supposed to be here right now. GUY: (waits a beat before speaking to the person on the phone) Yeah, can I take a message for Chris? (The guy listens.) GUY: Uh-huh. (pause) Yeah, well you're gonna have to get in line coz he owes me money too. And trust me, I guarantee it's a lot more than he owes you for some... batman costume rental. (Haley jerks and stops playing.) FLASHBACK TO: [INT. TRIC - BACKROOM - EVENING] (Haley kisses the person in the batman costume before he walks out. She looks on in wonder.) END OF FLASHBACK: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RECORDING STUDIO - RECORDING ROOM - DAY] (Haley looks down nervously as she realises what it means.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. RIVERBOAT (EST) - THE RIVER - DAY] (Shot of the boat lit with lights.) NATHAN: (v.o) Great, riverboat gambling. Nice move, Tom Sawyer. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. THE RIVERBOAT - CASINO - DAY] (Nathan looks down at the guitar case Chris is carrying.) NATHAN: Let me guess, you got a gun in there or we're gonna rob the place. CHRIS: Actually, that was plan B. (Nathan just looks at him.) CHRIS: Dude, this is a 1967 Gibson double. I wasn't gonna leave it in that junk of a car of yours. (pause) Plus, I look cool carrying a guitar. Let's go. (They walk forward.) CHRIS: Oh, uh, the guy I lost the money to - Marty - well,... he kinda scares me. NATHAN: Poker playing psycho named Marty, that's perfect. CHRIS: Well, well, gang's all here. Nate, this is Dexter- (Cut to a guy in sunglasses, a Stetson and long blond hair.) CHRIS: This is Emmanuelle- (Emmanuelle nods, heavily made up.) CHRIS: These are the cops- (The cops nod.) CHRIS: Hey guys. And this is... (nervously) Marty. NATHAN: (surprised) You're Marty? (Cut to a shot of a little person.) MARTY: Yeah, that's right. (pause) Who the hell are you? CHRIS: Oh, this is Nate. Big poker player. MARTY: Whaddaya mean 'big'? Is that supposed to be some kinda joke? CHRIS: (caught off-guard) No, no. I just mean he... he-hey, can we play or what, right? (laughs nervously) MARTY: I don't know, can you? You got your buy-in, Keller, or are you a little, uh,... (looks at his pants) short? (Marty laughs. Emmanuelle smiles and everyone else joins in. Chris dumps a hundred onto the table.) MARTY: Chris Keller, the human ATM. (Chris takes his seat. Nathan is sitting next to Dexter.) MARTY: It's your loss. (grins) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAVIS SCOTT APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY] (Shot of the TV as a soap airs. It's in a different language. Haley walks into the apartment and shuts the door.) HALEY: (puzzled) What are you watching? (laughs and dumps her bag) BROOKE: (shrugs) I don't know but it seems sad. (She's lying across the couch, watching.) HALEY: Did you talk to Lucas. (Brooke nods.) HALEY: (leans in close) Sorry. (sighs) Oh, where'd we go so wrong? BROOKE: Well, (turns the TV off) I slept with Chris Keller and you went on tour with him. HALEY: No, I mean... OK, yeah. But,... when did we start letting boys dictate our happiness? BROOKE: I was nine. (Haley laughs.) HALEY: Well, I-I don't care, it has to stop. You've got too much talent with your fashion line. BROOKE: Not anymore. HALEY: Oh, so what, so they stole a couple of designs, they didn't steal your talent! (smiles) I'm sure you've got more. BROOKE: (shrugs) Coupl'a unfinished dressed. HALEY: So finish em. (pause) Listen, we'll, um,... we'll put together a website and... we'll sell them ourselves. BROOKE: (smiles) And you'd help me? HALEY: (kindly) Yeah, I'd help you. (nods) You have to help yourself first though, missy. (Brooke considers, smiles and holds her fist out to Haley.) BROOKE: Clothes over bros? (Haley laughs and knocks fists with her.) HALEY: (nods) Clothes over bros. (Brooke smiles and thinks to herself.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SAWYER RESIDENCE - PEYTON'S BEDROOM - DAY] (Pan up Peyton's bed. She is asleep on it. She shifts slightly, opens her eyes and sighs.) PEYTON: OK, this is crap. (props up on one arm) (Angel of Death Peyton is at Peyton's desk, eating ice-cream.) AOD PEYTON: What's that? PEYTON: You, being here. It's one thing for you to haunt my dreams but I'm awake now. (sits up) AOD PEYTON: (amused) You sure about that? (sets the bowl aside) Besides, (waves her off) guilt never sleeps. PEYTON: Guilt? Oh. Oh, OK, so that's it, you're what, my subconscious? AOD PEYTON: No, no. (looks up from the picture she's drawing) I'm just like... the little voice inside your head. (pause) Only, I'm not so much on the inside now. (grins) PEYTON: Fine. I'm talking to myself. I'll play along; hey, what're you doing here? AOD PEYTON: (smiling) Hmmm, I'm having a snack see, it's pretty great actually; (Peyton nods) I eat and you get fat! (laughs fakely) (Peyton's smile drops.) AOD PEYTON: Oh, hey, I fixed this for you. (AOD Peyton picks up the picture and walks over to show Peyton. Peyton stands and looks at it. It's her picture of the traffic lights with the caption: PEOPLE ALWAYS LEAVE, only it doesn't say that anymore.) PEYTON: (snatches it) People always grieve? (turns it around to show her) you spelt it wrong. (smirks) (AOD Peyton has spelt it GREAVE.) AOD PEYTON: Well, if I spelt it wrong then so did you. PEYTON: Who knew my subconscious could be such a bitch! AOD PEYTON: No, no, we're a bitch. Try to keep up, OK? (pause) Oh, hey, check it out. (AOD Peyton walks to Peyton's closet and stands in the doorway, hands against the doorframe.) AOD PEYTON: Closet full of anxiety! Get it? PEYTON: Look, ghost of Christmas Goth, what do I have to do or say to get rid of you? AOD PEYTON: That's easy; where's your bracelet? (A door shuts off-screen.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SAWYER RESIDENCE - PEYTON'S BEDROOM - DAY] (Peyton's asleep in bed.) BROOKE: (o.s) P. Sawyer! (Peyton jerks awake.) BROOKE: (walking into the room) Oh, sorry, were you sleeping? PEYTON: I think so. (searches around her bed) I guess I lost Ellie's cancer bracelet. BROOKE: (turns to her) Hmm? PEYTON: (shakes her head) Nothing, what's up? (Brooke flicks through Peyton's drawings.) BROOKE: I need some art work for my new fashion line. PEYTON: You mean the fashion line that Suburban Filth owns? BROOKE: No, I mean my new fashion line. Haley helped me see the light. Instead of making out, I should be making clothes. (Peyton nods, kindly.) BROOKE: Although clothes make you look hot and then boys wanna make out with you. (beat) Not the point; I'm moving on and I'm doing my own thing(!) (She shrugs and looks down at the pictures.) BROOKE: These are perfect, so sleep it up, come over tonight coz my stuff is gonna rock your socks. (Brooke walks out and Peyton resumes searching for the bracelet. She stops and sighs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RIVERBOAT - CASINO - DAY] (Chris smirks.) CHRIS: (to Marty) You're bluffing. MARTY: Then call me and find out. CHRIS: I'll do more than that; I'll raise you, Marty. (pushes more money towards the middle) All in. NATHAN: Dude, maybe you shouldn't do that. CHRIS: Dude, he's bluffing. (Marty sighs, nods and turns his cards over. He's holding three red kings and two black queens.) MARTY: (eyes Chris) Read em and weep. (Chris' smile has vanished.) MARTY: (giddy) It's practically an orgy! (Chris flips his over and shows a red nine, three and seven and a black four and three. Marty laughs and claps.) NATHAN: A pair of threes?! You lost everything on a pair of threes?! (angrily) You suck at this, Chris. MARTY: Keller, you look like a toilet at the airport; broke and full of crap. (Chris lunges and grabs Nathan's keys.) CHRIS: How bout these? (waves them in the air) This car's worth at least two grand. (Smacks it on the table.) NATHAN: (reaches for the keys) Hold on. (Marty snatches them away first.) MARTY: I'll give you fifty bucks for it. CHRIS: Done. NATHAN: (outraged) No way in hell. Dude, let's just get outta here. CHRIS: You wanna get Haley's tape back or what? (Nathan sighs and stops complaining.) MARTY: I'll tell ya what; here's fifty bucks, (puts a note on the table) and a condom. (puts it on the table too) (Chris leans back.) MARTY: You two can get a room. We're playing poker. (The rest of the players laugh and put their money on the table. Chris gives Nathan a very discreet nod. Nathan shakes his head very slightly.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAVIS SCOTT APARTMENT - COUNTER - EVENING] (Brooke is cutting out the flaming heart in Peyton's picture.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. ROE RESIDENCE - LUCAS' BEDROOM - EVENING] (Close-up of the charred piece of paper with the words 'For everything you've done' typed across it. Lucas looks up, thinking.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RIVERBOAT - CASINO - EVENING] (Close-up of the table with the money and cards on it. Another card falls across the money.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAVIS SCOTT APARTMENT - BROOKE AND HALEY'S BEDROOM - EVENING] (Brooke stitches the Clothes over Bro's sign onto one of her dresses. She pulls the thread tight and smiles.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RIVERBOAT - CASINO - EVENING] (There are a series of fades as more money and cards are thrown onto the table.) KAREN: (v.o) Hi,- [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KAREN'S CAFÉ - DINING AREA - EVENING] (The café is deserted except for Karen who is on the phone.) KAREN: -it's me. I, uh,... I need to ask you something. (pause) Did you try to kill Dan? (She waits and listens.) KAREN: Because, I, uh,... I need to know the truth. (Karen's face remains sad as she listens to whoever is on the other end.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. RIVERBOAT - CASINO - EVENING] (Nathan gathers all of the money he's won.) MARTY: (glaring) Been on a hell of a roll, kid. (shakes his head) Nobody's that lucky. NATHAN: (grinning) What's the matter, Marty? Short temper? CHRIS: Oooo. DEXTER: No, something's messed up. CHRIS: Yeah, your teeth. (Nobody laughs at that.) MARTY: He's right. For the last two hours, every time you deal, he (points to Nathan) wins! NATHAN: No, not every time. (Marty bangs the table angrily.) MARTY: BUT FOR THE LAST TWO HOURS! CHRIS: Whoa, a-what're you saying, Marty? MARTY: What I'm trying to say is this; if we turn over those cards and he has a pair of anything... your ass is as good as dead. CHRIS: Man, you know what, this is crap. Nathan, let's go. (Chris stands and so does one of the cops. Chris stops short.) NATHAN: Alright, hold on, hold on. I've lost a lot tonight. MARTY: Not lately. (A guy walks up to the table.) GUY: We got a problem here? MARTY: No problem. CHRIS: Yeah, no problem here. (smiles nervously) (Marty turns one card over and it's a jack of spades.) MARTY: (points) So long as that card's not a jack. (The guy turns the card over to show that it's a jack of clubs. Chris reaches down to stop him but is too late.) CHRIS: OK, look, Marty, I don't wanna hit you because you're- (mimes small) MARTY: YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY, YOU SAY IT, KELLER! CHRIS: (groans) Ah, hell. (swings and punches Marty) (A fight breaks out. Nathan punches some random guy. Chris shoves the cops and grabs the money. He swings his guitar case around and knocks the cop out.) CHRIS: (to Nathan) RUNNING! (Nathan complies and they run out of the casino, knocking tables and chairs as they go. They burst out of the door, run up the stairs to the top of the boat. Dexter, the cops and Marty follow. Nathan and Chris come up to the end of the boat.) NATHAN: Dude, we gotta jump! CHRIS: No way, man, Chris Keller can't swim. NATHAN: It's either jumps or die! (Marty runs for them.) CHRIS: (drops the guitar case) You're not hearing me, I can't swim! NATHAN: Do you have the money? CHRIS: (distracted) Yeah, I got it right here but- NATHAN: OK, good. (grabs Chris' guitar case and hauls it overboard) CHRIS: (outraged) WHAT THE HELL! NATHAN: GO! (Chris and Nathan jump overboard.) FADE TO BLACK: [SCENE_BREAK] COMMERCIAL SET: [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. THE RIVER - EVENING] (Nathan and Chris trudge out of the river - Chris holding his guitar case. He sits on the bank, opens the case and takes his guitar out.) CHRIS: (coughs) Oh! (Nathan checks his phone but it's waterlogged. Chris breathes heavily and empties the guitar of water. He plays it and it sounds fine.) CHRIS: (laughs relieved) Oh right, not bad. NATHAN: (annoyed) Are you serious?! My cell phone's shot, we're in the middle of nowhere and you check your guitar?! How 'bout a thank you for not letting you drown? CHRIS: Whoa, Chris Keller was dog paddling just fine(!) NATHAN: Chris Keller was sinking just fine. (throws his phone into the river and stands) Give me the money. CHRIS: (replaces the guitar) Uh, (holds up a sodden note) oh, I must have lost it all in the river. (smiles at Nathan) NATHAN: I shoulda let you drown. (turns and walks away, leaving Chris alone) (Chris hurries and stands.) CHRIS: Wait up, man,... (follows) it's spooky out here. (Chris runs up and walks with Nathan. Nathan looks at him for a beat before shoving him hard. Chris falls sideways.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. COUNCIL BUILDING - ELECTIONS - EVENING] (Karen stands outside the room, nervous. Lucas walks up to her.) LUCAS: You OK? (Karen turns to him.) KAREN: Oh, just a little nervous. You know, polls are open in, uh, (checks her watch) in a few minutes. I give my final address. LUCAS: Mom, Dan just told me he thinks someone tried to kill him. KAREN: (stubbornly) The fire was ruled an accident. (Lucas sighs and looks away.) LUCAS: But what if it wasn't? You know, and what if he does have proof? (Karen's eyes are unfocussed as she thinks.) LUCAS: Is winning this election worth the risk... ? You know, maybe you should... concede, mom. (Karen looks at him, bewildered.) DEB: (walks up) Final statements, Karen. (She's holding a bouquet of flowers. Karen turns to her. Deb holds them out.) DEB: These came for you. (Lucas looks down and crosses his arms.) DEB: And you know I have to stand by Dan tonight I-I just... (sighs) good luck. (Deb walks away. Karen reads the card accompanying the flowers.) KAREN: They're from Andy. (Lucas smiles.) (Cut to the hall where Dan is standing on the stage. Karen walks up.) DAN: (quietly to Karen) Whatever you say, be sure not to stumble on the word concede. (Karen gives him a side-eye before walking to her place on the stage. She waves before stepping onto the podium and the various microphones.) KAREN: Thank you. (pause as cameras flash) A few minutes ago, my son asked me how important this election was to me... and my answer to him is that it's very important. (Lucas smiles and nods.) KAREN: But what's more important - believing in your fellow man; having faith in a persons character; trusting that a person is who we think they are and... defending that trust until we're given proof beyond a reasonable doubt that we should no longer do so. (pause) With that said,... I wish to concede. (Dan grins delightedly.) KAREN: But not the election. I wish to concede that when I decided to run for mayor, I underestimated my opponent... and the depths to which he will go to hurt and to humiliate others. (Dan's smile has vanished.) KAREN: You have seen the commercials... you have seen the real Dan Scott. Now do the right thing... and vote for Karen Roe. (The crowd claps; so do Lucas and Deb. Dan steps up to the podium. He holds up a hand and the clapping stops.) DAN: My opponent's decided to write me off... based on a recent video that I'm sure you've all seen. (pause) Well, I'd like to tell you that that video is a fabrication - a fake. (Lucas looks away, disgusted.) DAN: I'd like to tell you that... but I'm afraid that would be a lie. It's an accurate depiction of a man at his worst... and I'm not proud of it. And so, today, I ask for understanding; for forgiveness. (nods) For a second chance. (He flips to the next flashcard and at the top there is PAUSE TO CHOKE UP written in bold capitals.) DAN: (avoids the camera as he fakes choking up) I'm sorry. (pause) They say identification is the first step to recovery. I stand before you, a man who woke up. I am not perfect. I'm just a guy trying to be a good husband, and a father who sometimes comes up short... and if you elect me, you'll be electing a work in progress... but you'll also be electing a man who'll never put himself above any of you! Or above the town that I love. (smiles) I woke up to be your mayor... and I promise never to sleep on the job again. (The crowd claps. Deb looks at him expressionlessly, Karen doesn't move. Dan grins and nods.) DAN: Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAVIS SCOTT APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - EVENING] (Haley and Peyton are sitting on the couch, laughing.) PEYTON: Brooke, come on, just show us what you have so far! HALEY: Come on. (Brooke walks in with a box and a CD player.) BROOKE: OK, so these are just prototypes... but, I introduce you to my new line; (holds a top up which has Peyton's heart embroidered on the front) Clothes over Bro's. HALEY: Ooo. PEYTON: Brooke, that's awesome! BROOKE: Thanks, but there's more. (tosses the top at them) We've got the flaming heart ring-t. (She holds up a red t-shirt.) BROOKE: We have... C over B sweats. (Holds up a light blue sweatshirt. Peyton likes that one.) HALEY: I like that. BROOKE: And the tutor girl, P. Sawyer inspired, Clothes over Bro's concert jerseys. (Throws it at them too.) HALEY: These are awesome, Brooke. These rock. BROOKE: I know. But, every designer needs her couture line, (throws some more tops) so I am now introducing you to Clothes over Bro's; upscale. (She plays the CD in the player and Haley and Peyton exchange confused looks. Bevin walks out of the bedroom, wearing a dress.) PEYTON: Whoa! HALEY: Oh my gosh! Brooke! (Bevin spins.) PEYTON: You made that? BROOKE: Um-hm. HALEY: Brooke! BROOKE: I made that. HALEY: Brooke, that's gorgeous. (Another girl walks in wearing dark form-fitting clothes.) BROOKE: It's so cute, right? (She spins.) PEYTON: Oh, see, that's more me. (Another girl walks in with a black dress.) HALEY: (longingly) Ohh... that's so pretty. (Another girl walks in wearing a deep red dress.) PEYTON: Oooh, oh my(!) That dress equals danger! (Brooke nods.) BROOKE: Trouble. (Haley and Bevin laugh. Brooke turns the music off.) BROOKE: And they're all available at Clothes over Bro's dot com. (There a beat before they start clapping.) PEYTON: Good work, dude. HALEY: Yay! (Brooke smiles and curtsies delightedly.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. WOODS - EVENING] (Chris and Nathan are still walking through the woods in the middle of nowhere. Nathan's trying his best to lose Chris.) CHRIS: Come on, man, slow down. (Nathan looks back briefly.) CHRIS: I'm not in shape like you - I'm weak. NATHAN: Dude, we're eighty miles from home and you gambled my damn car away. CHRIS: (reaches into his pocket) No, not exactly. (pulls Nathan's car keys out) Actually, I grabbed your keys right before Marty punched me in the crotch. (Nathan takes them back and pockets them.) CHRIS: In other news - um, I actually have about five hundred dollars left on me so... basically, we broke even. NATHAN: (annoyed) What, you call this breaking even? I thought we were actually winning! (They stop.) NATHAN: I shoulda known, you can't be honest. CHRIS: (hurt) I can be honest. NATHAN: No, you can't. CHRIS: ... I kissed Haley. (pause) At the masquerade party. (Nathan punches him hard. Chris backs up in pain.) CHRIS: Ow. (Nathan looks down at him) Whoa, man, I was trying to help you! NATHAN: Wh- (punches him again) CHRIS: Argh! (straightens) See, this is why I'm never honest. And stop hitting me. NATHAN: STOP KISSING MY WIFE! CHRIS: I will, when you start kissing her. (Nathan punches him again and Chris goes down this time. Nathan groans in anger.) NATHAN: What the hell is wrong with you? CHRIS: (on the floor) Listen, the night you called me to come to town was the night of the masquerade party. I thought it'd be funny if we both went in the same costume; so I bribed the guy at the costume shop to tell me what you rented. (stands) But then I got there... and I saw you and Haley weren't getting along... so I thought if I just kissed her, (Nathan advances, Chris backs up) and OK, it was stupid, alright? (pause) But I did it for you; I didn't do it for me. (Nathan steps back.) CHRIS: So, we even? NATHAN: Even? (scoffs) You kissed my wife, you lost all my money, (Chris turns away) you lied to me about a poker game and you got me attacked by a munchkin and a transvestite. CHRIS: Whoa, whoa, (pause) you think Emmanuelle's a dude? NATHAN: Emmanuelle has an Adam's apple. CHRIS: (shocked) Oops. NATHAN: (disappointed) You wanna know the worst part? Haley's the one that suffers the most. (shakes his head) She put her heart and soul into that song and you screwed her over. (pause) That's nice work. You should be proud of that. (Nathan walks past Chris, leaving him standing there miserably.) FACE TO BLACK: COMMERCIAL SET: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAVIS SCOTT APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - EVENING] (Pan across to Brooke who is leaning against the sofa, looking at her top. Haley is sitting beside her.) BROOKE: Pretty great, huh? HALEY: (looking at a top too) Yeah. Hey, I don't think you need the apostrophe though, in Bro's. It's not really very grammatically correct. BROOKE: (smiles and pulls the top back) It's my fashion line and I'm keeping the apostrophe. HALEY: OK, well, good for you. You did it all yourself anyway. BROOKE: Not really, you got me there. HALEY: (scoffs) Yeah, I kinda feel like a big fraud. BROOKE: What!? Why? HALEY: Because I told you to put yourself before boys and I secretly spent the whole day thinking about Nathan. BROOKE: Why, did something happen? (grins cheekily) HALEY: (sighs) You know I told you that... Nathan kissed me at the masquerade party? BROOKE: Yeah. HALEY: It might not have been Nathan. (pause) I think it might have been Chris. BROOKE: Cringle? (Haley rolls her eyes.) BROOKE: No, I didn't think so. (pause) Wow... how could you kiss Chris Keller and then think that Chris was Nathan? I- HALEY: Maybe I just wanted to believe that it was Nathan so bad that... (shakes her head) what if I was wrong, though? (Brooke doesn't know what to say.) HALEY: He could just be trying to keep things pleasant until the divorce is final. BROOKE: I do not believe that. (Haley does) I don't! (Only Haley's eyes move.) BROOKE: But it's hard, isn't it? I mean, I... I love my clothes... but there is an ache in my heart where Lucas used to be and... I don't think covering it up with a... stylish and smartly priced sweat top's gonna make it go away. (Haley zips it up.) HALEY: It is stylish, though. (Brooke puts a hand on Haley's shoulder and they smile sadly.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MUSIC STUDIO - ENTRANCE - EVENING] (Nathan is leaning against his car when Chris walks out of the studio.) NATHAN: (walks to him) Well? CHRIS: (throws a bundle at him) Whaddaya know, I got em. (Nathan catches it carefully.) NATHAN: (stunned as he looks through them) Get outta here(!) CHRIS: No, that's everything. That's the masters, demo... bought and paid for. NATHAN: You only had five hundred bucks. CHRIS: (evasively) I got a way with people, I guess. (Nathan frowns and looks down.) CHRIS: (uncomfortable) Listen, I'm... gonna be taking off. (Nathan nods.) CHRIS: I may not see you for a while, so, uh,... (catches himself) whoa, whatever. (He bends to pick up his guitar case. It opens and Nathan sees that it's empty.) NATHAN: (confused) You sold your guitar? CHRIS: (covering as he snaps the case shut) The thing was waterlogged anyway. NATHAN: You love that guitar. (Chris stands and sighs, completely miserable.) NATHAN: Well hey, (pause) I guess this makes us even. (holds a hand out) (Chris shakes it.) CHRIS: Maybe so, but that's not why I did it. (Nathan waits) You tell Haley that song's a hit. (smiles) Or maybe don't, unless you wanna lose her again. (Chris nods and walks away. Nathan lets him get a few steps before calling out to him.) NATHAN: Hey? (Chris stops and looks at him.) NATHAN: Where're you going? CHRIS: (smiles) Chris Keller's work here is done. (Chris continues walking. Nathan looks down at the tapes.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SAWYER RESIDENCE - PEYTON'S BEDROOM - EVENING] (Peyton turns the lamp off and lies back in bed with a sigh.) AOD PEYTON: (o.s) You find it yet? PEYTON: (annoyed) DAMN IT! (She turns the lamp back on and sits up in bed with a fake smile.) PEYTON: Let me ask you something: if I have a heart attack, do you die too?! AOD PEYTON: That's... (nods) that's really sweet. PEYTON: OK, I'm not (turns away) arguing with you. AOD PEYTON: Oh, come on, Peyton, (walks forward) that's what we do, OK? We have these inner conversations daily. (mocks) Am I gonna look stupid? Am I pretty enough? (Peyton glares at her) Did Jake just wanna get in my pants? (pause) Should Lucas be with me instead of Brooke? PEYTON: No, OK, you're wrong; Lucas and I are just friends... and Jake loved me. (her smile falls) AOD PEYTON: Whatever you say,... cheerleader. (smirks and advances) Poor me, whine, whine, mope, mope (puts her arms either side of Peyton on the bed and leans down) always the victim! My mum died; Jake left; Ellie lied, boo-hoo. (grins) PEYTON: (tears in her eyes) You really are a bitch. AOD PEYTON: I'm not the one that sent Ellie away. (She straightens and looks at Peyton's traffic light sketch.) AOD PEYTON: People always leave... or Peyton always drives them away? (Peyton's mouth opens but no sound escapes.) AOD PEYTON: Where's the bracelet, Peyton? (Peyton still doesn't answer. She doesn't know.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KAREN'S CAFÉ - DINING AREA - EVENING] (Close-up of a reporter on TV.) REPORTER: And it looks as though Dan Scott's narrow lead will hold in one of the closest decisions we've ever seen. (smiles) Now back to you, Bill. (Karen turns the TV off. Lucas is standing right behind her.) LUCAS: (sighs) It's still close, you never know. KAREN: (nods) I'm afraid I do. (They turn and walk to the counter.) KAREN: Dan Scott's the frickin mayor. LUCAS: You did your best, mom. Don't be sad. (Karen sighs.) KAREN: It's not that, it's Dan. (pause) And even though he might be wrong about the fire, if he thinks it's intentional, he won't stop until he finds someone to blame. (Lucas listens intently.) KAREN: I worry for that person, Lucas. (pause) I really do. SPEAKER: (v.o) Ladies and gentlemen, the soon to be- [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. COUNCIL BUILDING - ELECTIONS - EVENING] (Shot of Dan at the top of the stairs, grinning. Deb is standing a few feet away, looking on uncaringly. He grins and walks forward.) SPEAKER: -mayor of Tree Hill, North Carolina, Dan Scott! (Dan holds his arms up in victory as he descends. The crowd cheer and clap.) DAN: Wow. (He grins stupidly, points at a person and shakes his hand.) DAN: (to the crowd) Hey, thank you, so much. (The camera pans across to Deb who hasn't moved an inch. She watches from her solitary place. Lucas comes up behind her, crosses his arms and leans against the wall.) LUCAS: Make you wonder, huh? (Deb turns her head to looks at him.) LUCAS: Do the wicked never lose? DEB: Hi, Lucas. (smiles tightly) How's your mom doing? LUCAS: ... She's worried about you. (pause) She just doesn't know it. (looks at her) DEB: (beat) Whaddaya mean? (Lucas looks around, making sure nobody's there, before handing her the charred slip of paper with: 'For everything you've done' written on it. Deb takes it and looks at it.) DEB: (reading) 'For everything you've done'? (pause) I-I don't understand. LUCAS: I think you do. (He looks at her steadily and Deb panics.) FLASHBACK TO: [INT. DAN SCOTT MOTORS - DAN'S OFFICE - EVENING] (There's a flash of flames before the camera focuses on the paper again - before it burned. Close-up of Dan's face as he realises he's been poisoned. The telephone and alcohol fall to the floor.) END OF FLASHBACK: FLASH TO: [INT. COUNCIL BUILDING - ELECTIONS - EVENING] (Deb is staring off as Lucas waits.) LUCAS: That's the last shred of evidence. FLASHBACK TO: [INT. DAN SCOTT MOTORS - DAN'S OFFICE - EVENING] (Shot of legs as somebody walks into the office. Dan struggles at his desk.) LUCAS: (v.o) As far as I know,... there's nothing else to tie you to this, Deb. (Dan looks up as the person stops.) (Close-up of a hand as a lighter is flicked on.) DAN: (v.o) Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please. END OF FLASHBACK: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. COUNCIL BUILDING - ELECTIONS - EVENING] (Deb avoids eye contact with Lucas but her face shows that he's got it right.) DAN: I have just received word that in a matter of minutes, the votes will be in, and VICTORY WILL BE OURS! (The crowd cheers again.) LUCAS: He knows it wasn't an accident. (Deb's eyes are red as she looks at him.) FLASHBACK TO: [INT. DAN SCOTT MOTORS - DAN'S OFFICE - EVENING] (Dan pulls at his tie as he chokes. The lighter is dropped onto the spilt alcohol and the flames race along.) END OF FLASHBACK: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. COUNCIL BUILDING - ELECTIONS - EVENING] LUCAS: But he doesn't have proof. DAN: (o.s) They said we were beaten! FLASHBACK TO: [INT. DAN SCOTT MOTORS - DAN'S OFFICE - EVENING] (Dan lies back in his chair and loses consciousness. The flames travel quickly up the cupboards.) END OF FLASHBACK: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. COUNCIL BUILDING - ELECTIONS - EVENING] (Dan stands at the podium, all but ecstatic.) DAN: They said we were dead! [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAN SCOTT MOTORS - DAN'S OFFICE - EVENING] (The person turns their back and walks out of the building, pulling the balaclava of as they go.) END OF FLASHBACK: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. COUNCIL BUILDING - ELECTIONS - EVENING] LUCAS: Maybe this can finally set you free. (Deb doesn't say a word.) DAN: (v.o) But they should know by now;- FLASHBACK TO: [INT. DAN SCOTT MOTORS - DAN'S OFFICE - EVENING] (Shot of a framed picture of Dan, Deb and Nathan burning.) END OF FLASHBACK: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. COUNCIL BUILDING - ELECTIONS - EVENING] (Dan continues to give his speech.) DAN: You can't kill Dan Scott! FLASHBACK TO: [EXT. DAN SCOTT MOTORS - STREET - EVENING] (The flame bursts through the windows and carries on up into the sky. Lucas gasps and backs away from it.) END OF FLASHBACK: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. COUNCIL BUILDING - ELECTIONS - EVENING] (Dan grins and raises his arms again. The crowd cheers and Dan turns to look for Deb. She's standing there, alone.) FLASHBACK TO: [EXT. DAN SCOTT MOTORS - PARKING LOT - EVENING] (The camera follows as the person opens the car door and gets inside. Lucas moves around and watches. The door slams and Deb pulls off the balaclava. She sighs and leans her head back. The frame freezes.) DAN: (v.o) I didn't do this alone- END OF FLASHBACK: [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. COUNCIL BUILDING - ELECTIONS - EVENING] (Dan stands at a podium and smiles.) DAN: (nods) -and to that end, I'd like to bring out my beautiful and supportive wife, Deb, to enjoy the moment with me. (He smiles and holds his arm out. He turns to look and his smile drops. The space where she stood is empty. He turns back around, empty handed.) DAN: I guess it's true what they say; it's lonely at the top. (grins annoyingly) (The crowd yells and cheers as streamers and balloons fall from the ceiling.) FADE TO BLACK: COMMERCIAL SET: [SCENE_BREAK] [SCOTT RESIDENCE - NATHAN'S BEDROOM - EVENING] (Close-up of the CD player that hangs on Nathan's wall as he puts Haley's song - Halo in. The players shuts, the CD spins and begins playing.) (Nathan steps back and listens. He walks to his chest of drawers and picks up a piece of card. He reads it and looks up, upset. He walks out of the shot.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SAWYER RESIDENCE - PEYTON'S BEDROOM - EVENING] (Peyton looks frantically through her CDs. She sighs wretchedly and turns around, leaning against them.) PEYTON: I can't find it. (AOD Peyton walks out of the bathroom and advances on her, accusingly.) AOD PEYTON: Why do you think Ellie came to see us, Peyton? (Peyton refuses to look at her.) AOD PEYTON: She has cancer, she has regrets, She's closing up shop(!) PEYTON: She's in remission. AOD PEYTON: You know that's a lie! She's dieing! PEYTON: (in denial) No, she's not! AOD PEYTON: Where is the bracelet, Peyton?! PEYTON: (almost crying) I LOST IT! OK? (She bangs through the pencil drawers and still doesn't find it. She stops, extremely close to tears. AOD Peyton walks up close behind her.) AOD PEYTON: The last thing she wanted in this world was to get to know you... (leans in closer) and you sent her away. (Peyton sighs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. EXITING TREE HILL - DEB'S CAR - EVENING] (Deb pulls out her phone and dials. There's one ring before the phone is picked up on the other end.) DEB: Hi, it's me. (pause) Lucas knows. (The shot zooms in.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. COUNCIL BUILDING - ELECTIONS - EVENING] (Dan's holding his arms up again as he wins the election. The balloons continue to fall and Dan claps. His smile slowly vanishes.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - NATHAN'S BEDROOM - EVENING] (Nathan is sitting on his bed. Haley walks in.) HALEY: Hi. (She waves as she enters further.) NATHAN: Hey, thanks for coming. HALEY: Yeah, thanks for calling me. (They're walking on eggshells.) HALEY: (smiles and walks to him) What's wrong? NATHAN: (beat) Your song is great, Haley. (pause) Chris played it from me. It's a... it's a long story but, uh,... it's really great. (smiles) I just wanted you to know that. HALEY: Oh, OK. (She's still confused as to why he called.) NATHAN: My mom left... for good, I think. (That shocks Haley and she walks closer to him.) NATHAN: Oh, and, apparently, my dad's the mayor now. (scoffs) So,... yeah, today's really sucked ass. HALEY: (compassionately) Oh, Nathan, (climbs onto the bed) I'm so sorry. (He shakes his head and they look at each other for a while.) NATHAN: You know, for most of my life, I would have gone through all this alone. (smiles) Then I met you, and I finally found someone I could depend on when life got like this... so I guess I called you... coz I wanted to know... if that was still there. HALEY: (heartfelt) Nathan, you can always call me. (pause) Always and forever. (grins) (They sigh.) HALEY: I wanna ask you something, um,... the night of the masquerade party, d-did we... did you kiss me? (Nathan doesn't reply for a beat. He thinks.) NATHAN: (kindly) Of course I did. (Haley smiles, relieved and they kiss.) HALEY: (realising) Oh, no you didn't. (Nathan laughs, bemused.) HALEY: That kiss wasn't half as good as this one. (laughs and touches his face) But I love you for lying to me! (They smile.) HALEY: (whispering) Thanks for calling. (She kisses him on the cheek, gets off the bed and walks to his door.) NATHAN: Haley! (She stops and turns, smiling.) HALEY: (leaning on the doorframe) Yeah? NATHAN: Stay with me tonight. HALEY: (smiles relived) Oh, I was hoping you would say that. (They grin and Haley closes the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. EXITING TREE HILL - THE ROAD - EVENING] (Chris walks down the road, carrying his guitar case.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DAVIS SCOTT APARTMENT - BROOKE AND HALEY'S BEDROOM - EVENING] (Brooke stands in the room, not moving. She looks on, tears in her eyes. She takes down the last picture on the vacation wall; the one of her and Lucas. She looks at it.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. ROE RESIDENCE - LUCAS' BEDROOM - EVENING] (There's a knock on Lucas' door. The camera pans to it. Lucas opens his door and sees Brooke standing there. She's holding the box of letters and walks just inside the door.) BROOKE: There are eighty-two letters in here... and they're all addressed to you. (Lucas takes the box and frowns at her.) BROOKE: I wrote them all this summer. (choked) One a day, but... I never sent them because I was afraid... (Lucas looks down at them, not knowing what to say.) LUCAS: Brooke- BROOKE: I was afraid of getting my heart broken again. (cries) Like before. (pause) Coz you hurt me so bad and... I was afraid to be vulnerable and I was afraid of you and the way that you make me feel (looks up) and I know that doesn't matter now, after what I did... but I just thought that you should know. (She looks down and cries some more.) BROOKE: This is how I spent my summer, Luke; (pause) wanting you. (Lucas has tears in his own eyes.) BROOKE: I was just too scared to admit it. (She turns and walks away. Lucas waits for a moment before dumping the box on his bed and following her out.) LUCAS: Brooke! (She stops and turns.) LUCAS: I'm sorry. (There's a pause as she looks at him, tearfully stunned.) LUCAS: What you did with Chris; (pause) It's OK. BROOKE: It's not. It can't be. It's too much to forgive! LUCAS: (is in visible emotional pain) Well that's too bad, because I forgive you. BROOKE: You can't! LUCAS: I just did. (smiles) So you're gonna just have to deal with it. (Brooke is still crying.) LUCAS: I'm the guy for you, Brooke Davis... and I know I hurt you last time we were together but- BROOKE: I love you. (laughs and sobs) LUCAS: (beat) I love you too. (Brooke smile and Lucas touches her face.) LUCAS: Pretty girl. (She walks forward and they kiss. The shot zooms out on them.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SAWYER RESIDENCE - PEYTON'S BEDROOM - EVENING] (Peyton is on her computer, looking through EnterSearchFind411.com for Ellie's name. It comes up with one address. Ellie lives at 408 Kenosha Club Road, River City, North Carolina.) (Cut to Peyton sitting at the computer, smiling.) PEYTON: I found her. (uncertainly) Are you happy now? (AOD Peyton walks into the room and leans on the doorway.) AOD PEYTON: No,... but you are. (pause) You can wake up now. (Peyton doesn't move, she just stares at the computer. AOD Peyton turns and walks away but fades out before she gets past the doorway. The camera pans up from the computer screen to the taped-together article that Ellie wrote. It now hangs on her wall.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. ROE RESIDENCE - LUCAS' BEDROOM - EVENING] (Lucas and Brooke are on Lucas' bed, kissing. He puts a hand on her face.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SCOTT RESIDENCE - NATHAN'S BEDROOM - EVENING] (Nathan and Haley are on Nathan's bed, doing the same thing... only a little more. Nathan pulls away and takes his t-shirt off. He's wearing his wedding ring around his neck. Haley sees it and smiles. She pulls him back down by the ring and kisses him again. They interlock fingers.)

Plan: A: Lucas; Q: Who knows Deb tried to kill Dan? A: Dan; Q: Who did the residents of Tree Hill elect as Mayor? A: the election; Q: What does Dan want Karen to concede? A: Peyton; Q: Who is annoyed by the presence of her guilty conscience? A: Bros.; Q: What does Brooke decide to launch a clothing line called Clothes over? A: Ellie's cancer survivor bracelet; Q: What does Peyton lose? A: a cash poker game; Q: What does Chris Keller convince Nathan to be his wingman at? A: a long walk home; Q: What happens to Nathan after he is accused of cheating? A: the Masquerade party; Q: Where did Chris kiss Haley? A: Batman; Q: What was Chris Keller dressed as at the Masquerade party? A: The Hold Steady; Q: Whose song is "Closing Time" named after? Summary: It is revealed that Lucas knows Deb tried to kill Dan. Dan wants Karen to concede the election. Brooke, Peyton and Haley find themselves behind bars. Lucas confronts Brooke about sleeping with Chris Keller. Brooke decides to launch a clothing line called Clothes over Bros. Peyton is annoyed by the presence of her guilty conscience after losing Ellie's cancer survivor bracelet. Chris Keller convinces Nathan to be his wingman at a cash poker game which ends with being accused of cheating and a long walk home. Chris admits to Nathan that he kissed Haley at the Masquerade party dressed as Batman. The residents of Tree Hill elect Dan as Mayor. This episode is named after a song by The Hold Steady .

[Chicago] (Klaus and Stefan are in a clothing store, drinking champagne and waiting for Rebakah whose trying clothe) Rebekah: There has to be more to this dress Klaus: There's not (She gets out of the fitting room. She wears a dress) Rebekah: So women in the 21st century dress like prostitutes, then. You know, I got dirty looks for wearing trousers Klaus: You wore trousers so women today could wear nothing Rebekah: And what is this music? It sounds like a cable car accident Stefan: It's dance music Rebekah: People dance to this? Stefan: Hmm Klaus: Are we done? Rebekah: And why are you so grumpy? Klaus: I needed one thing from you for my witch to find out why my hybrids are dying, one thing. Your necklace. And you lost it Rebekah: I didn't lose it. It's just been missing for 90 years (She looks at Stefan) Rebekah: So what do you think? Stefan: I like it (She doens't seem saisfied) Stefan: What? I said I like it Rebekah: I can always tell when you're lying, Stefan (She goes back into the fitting room. Klaus look at Stefan) Klaus: Nice one, good work Stefan: You're the one that pulled the Dagger out of her Rebekah: I heard that Stefan: All right. I'm going to get some fresh air (He gets up. Klaus pours himself some champagne. Stefan is abou to go out and sees Kaherine across the street. She makes him a sign so he follow her) [Gilbert's House] (Damon and Elena are cooking) Damon: I just don't know why you want to bring chili to a potluck. Everybody brings chili (Alaric enters) Damon: Hey, Ric Alaric: What's up? Elena: What time do you want to go to the Lockwood party? Alaric: Ah. Those founders parties aren't really my thing Damon: Show up, there's going to be nine other people that brought chili Elena: It's an old family recipe, ok? Damon: Yeah! I know. I knew your old family. They made sucky chili (He smiles. She laughs. Alaric look at them) Alaric: Why are you here, exactly? Damon: She knows Elena: He thinks I'm going to break. I'm not going to break. I am just going to keep making chili, pretend like I didn't just spend the entire summer looking for someone who didn't want to be found Damon: She's in denial (She whispers) Elena: I'm not in denial Damon: No? (He gets closer to her and touches her necklace) Damon: You're still wearing this necklace. Isn't this the reminder of your unbreakable bond with Stefan? (Alaric watches them) [Chicago] (Stefan rejoins Katherine) Stefan: What the hell are you doing here? Katherine: You two look chummy. Klaus' your new bestie? Stefan: You know, if he finds out you're in Chicago, you're dead Katherine: Happy to know that you still care. So tell me if I'm wrong... Rebekah's necklace that Klaus is looking for... That's the necklace that you gave to Elena Stefan: Bye, Katherine Katherine: Hey, hey. Wait. You're up to this thing, tell me... Stefan: They don't know where the necklace is. I just have to keep them from figuring it out. I have it all under control Katherine: Please, tell me you have a better plan (He doesn't answer) Katherine: You do. Come on, Stefan. You're not the diabolical type. Whatever you're planning, it's not going to work Stefan: Well, if the most diabolical woman I know can't seem to figure it out, then I must be doing something right Katherine: Uh-huh. I forgot. You're bad now. Don't get too cocky. Klaus is smarter than you. He's smarter than everyone. And I've heard about that sister. Be careful. She'll ruin you Stefan: Happy to know you still care (He leaves) [Gilbet's House] (Jeremy is in his bedromm, asleep. He wakes up. Anna's lying next to him. He's shocked and gets up) Anna: Jeremy Jeremy: Anna! Anna: You heard me Jeremy: What are you doing here? Anna: Wait, like heard me, heard me, or did it sound more like a... Jeremy: Where have you been? Anna: I need to know you can hear me Jeremy: You drop in, you tell me not to trust Vicki, and then you disappear? Anna: Jeremy! Tell me you can hear me Jeremy: Yeah, yeah, I can hear you, all right? What the hell! What is it? Anna: I've been trying to get you to hear me for days. Yelling your name and screaming Jeremy: You have? Anna: What changed? I've been trying to get through to you, why now? Jeremy: I was dreaming about you Anna: You were dreaming about me? (She sits down on the bed. He sits down next to her) Jeremy: I can't believe this is actually happening. That you're actually here Anna: I'm here (Someone rings the bell. Elena opens the door. It's Caroline. She has a dish in her hands) Caroline: I come bearing gifts Elena: Please say that's not chili (Bonnie comes in) Elena: Bonnie! Bonnie: I'm back! (They embrace each other) Bonnie: I leave town for the summer and everything goes to hell for the both of you (Caroline and Elena look at each other. Jeremy goes down the stairs) Jeremy: Bonnie! Bonnie: Jeremy (She rushes over him and the kiss and embrace each other. He looks over Bonnie's shoulder. Anna's here, looking at him) [The street] (Liz and Damon are walking) Damon: So mayor Lockwood called your gay ex-husband to torture your vampire daughter Liz: Yes. I've been keeping him detained to make sure the vervain's out of his system. So you could, you know... Damon: Can't we just kill him? Liz: No, Damon! He's Caroline's father Damon: He sounds like a douche-bag to me Liz: Yeah, well, just 'cause you and I are on ok terms doesn't mean that I'm a suddenly a big advocate for your "lifestyle" Damon: Is that what you told him when you two got divorced? [A cellar] (Liz and Damon go down the stairs) Liz: Double check him for vervain before you compel him (They enter the cellar where Caroline wes detained. Bill is tied to a chair and has scotch tap on his mouth. Damon removes it) Bill: You brought another vampire into this? Liz: It's the best thing for all of us, Bill Damon: So, Bill, I hear you're into the whole daddy-daughter vampire torture thing Bill: I was trying to help her Damon: Well, if there's anyone who doesn't need help, it's your annoying control freak of a daughter (He bites him on the neck and drinks some of his blood) Damon: He's vervain-free Liz: Just erase his memory, Damon Damon: So, Bill, I have a question. What makes you think that you can change the basic nature of a vampire? Bill: The mind's a powerful tool. It can be trained and retrained. You just have to be strong enough Damon: Oh, yeah? I completely agree. I actually happen to love mind control, myself (He compels him) Damon: You will leave town immediately. All you remember is you came to bring your daughter back to school shopping [Gloria's bar, Chicago] (Stefan enters. Gloria is sitting at a table. Klaus and Rebekah anre at the bar) Rebekah: You left us Stefan: Yeah, sorry. Retail therapy was making my head explode Klaus: Tell me about it (Stefan looks at Gloria) Stefan: What's she doing? Klaus: She's failing Gloria: It's hard to find something when you don't have anything to go on Rebekah: So use me. I only wore it for a thousand years Gloria: See? Now this one offers a solution (Rebekah sits on the table) Gloria: All right, give me your hand, sweetheart (Rebekah gives her her hand) Stefan: She's, uh, she's looking for the necklace, huh? [Gilbert's house] (Elena, Caroline and Bonnie are in the kitchen) Bonnie: The problem with my dad's normal side of the family is normal made for a really boring summer Caroline: After the last few days, I would kill for a normal family (She helps Elena decant the Chili in a casserole) Caroline: Since when did you learn how to cook? Elena: Damon helped a little Bonnie: Damon's helping you cook now? Elena: Both of you stop judging. He's just trying to be a good... ow! Caroline: Ahh! Did I splash you? Elena: No, no, my necklace (She takes it. Her skin has burn) [Gloria's bar, Chicago] (She still has Rebakah's hand) Gloria: I can sense something (Stefan seems a little bit worried) [Gilbert's House] Elena: It burned me Caroline: Maybe it's a sign you shouldn't be wearing it Bonnie: Caroline... Caroline: What, I'm just saying. If you're going to be "cooking" without Stefan Bonnie: Let me see it [Gloria's bar, Chicago] (She casts a spell) [Gilbert's House] (Bonnie looks at the necklace and touches it but it's like an electrik choc. Elena drops it. Bonnie and Elena look at each other. Elena seems shocked) [Gloria's bar, Chicago] (Gloria drops Rebekah's hand and looks at Klaus and Stefan) Gloria: I found it Rebekah: So where is it? Gloria: It doesn't work like that, doll. I get images. There's a girl with her friends... Rebekah: Yes, a dead girl with dead friends, if I don't get my necklace back Gloria: Well, I'll have to dive back in to get the details Klaus: So dive Gloria: I need more time. And space. You're harshing my ju-ju Klaus: We can wait Gloria: I'm sure you can. But that's not what I asked Stefan: Hey. Hey, you know, why don't we just come back later. I'm hungry anyway. I'll let you pick who we eat (Klaus looks at Rebekah and they leave with Stefan) [Lockwood's Mansion] (Elena and Caroline are sitting apart from the party on a bench. Bonnie rejoins them with her grimoire) Bonnie: I have an identification spell that might be able to tell me what magic affected the necklace. (Elena gives her her necklace) Bonnie: It's going to take a while, so tell me if anyone's coming, ok? (Caroline looks at Elena) Caroline: So you're not, like, switching Salvatores, are you? Elena: What? Bonnie: Caroline... Caroline: Stay focused (She looks back at Elena) Caroline: As your friend who worries for you daily, what is the deal with you and Damon? Elena: There is no deal. He's been just as focused on finding Stefan as I have Caroline: Yeah, but that doesn't make him any less Damon. If my own father, who I love dearly, can't change me. No one's changing Damon. Not even you Elena: Look, why are we even talking about this? Bonnie: Hey guys (The necklace is levitating) Caroline: What are you doing? Bonnie: I'm not doing anything. It has its own magic (Caroline and Bonnie look at Elena) (Damon is looking at the Chili made by the founding families. Alaric rejoins him and gives him a beer) Damon: I'm going to let you in on a little secret... Founders parties are just an excuse for the council to gather in back rooms and plot against vampires Alaric: Hey, uh, I think you need to take a beat with Elena Damon: Excuse me? Alaric: Whatever it is you two have going on, I think it's a bad idea Damon: I don't really think it's your problem, Ric Alaric: It is my problem. I'm supposed to look after her, and this is me doing that Damon: What do you think I'm doing? Alaric: What I think is you need to take a beat (Liz rejoins them) Liz: Damon? Sorry. Uh, the mayor just called the council meeting [A warehouse, Chicago] (Klaus and Stefan are on a couch drinking from two girls. Rebekah looks at them) Rebekah: My girl's dead. I'm bored (Klaus looks at Stefan) Klaus: You weren't kidding about being hungry Stefan: Yeah. It's been a long day Klaus: Try being related to her (Klaus laughs) Rebekah: You're being mean. And why are you being mean? You used to love me Klaus: It's been 90 years, Rebekah. Give him a minute Rebekah: Why are you taking his side? Klaus: Because, my dear sister, I feel pity for any man who doesn't give you what you want Rebekah: Will you stop making me out to be a brat? I am not a brat! Klaus: A thousand years of life experience says otherwise Stefan: Well, you're no picnic, either. I mean, I've only spent one summer with you and I feel like I want to blow my head off (She laughs) Rebekah: Fantastic (He gets up) Stefan: I need to go (He leaves) Rebekah: Where's he going? Klaus: To write a name on a wall. It's a long story [Lockwood's Mansion] (Jeremy enters an empty room and closes the door) Jeremy: Anna? Look, where are you? We don't have much time (She appears) Anna: We've got all the time in the world Jeremy: I'm sorry about before. I just got, um, distracted Anna: It's fine. I get it. Why haven't you told her? Jeremy: Well, she's been gone all summer Anna: Yeah, I know that. Now why haven't you told her, really? Jeremy: I don't know. You know, I don't even understand how any of this is possible Anna: Well, it's kind of a push and pull. I'm pushing from the other side trying to contact you, and sometimes, like just now, if you pull... Jeremy: The other side? Is that... Is that what it's called? Anna: That's what I call it. I'm all by myself here. It's like I'm a part of your world, only no one can see me. I'm just... On the other side Jeremy: Wait, what about Vicki? Anna: Whenever you say you see her, I feel something. A darkness. And when I try to tell you not to let her in, something crazy happens. Like, she's trying to push me out Jeremy: Like the windows breaking Anna: Just be careful. Try not to let her in. 'Cause she can't get through if you're not open to it. You don't understand how amazing it is to finally be able to talk to you. I'm all by myself here. I mean, I don't have anyone (She touches his hand but he doens't seem to realise until he sees it. She takes her hand back) Anna: I'm sorry. I know you can't feel anything Jeremy: Do it again (He raises his hand. She touches it and smiles) [Gloria's bar, Chicago] (Stefan enters and sees Gloria) Gloria: There you are Stefan: Thought you were resting Gloria: Well, now we both have a secret Stefan: What did you see? Gloria: It's what I heard that's interesting. You know, the girls with the necklace, they were talking about you Stefan: Yet you didn't tell Klaus. Why? Gloria: 'Cause I wouldn't help that hybrid half-breed with anything. The necklace is a talisman from the original witch herself. I want it Stefan: Well, I'm sorry. I can't help you Gloria: Don't be difficult. You know, I'd hate to have to tell Klaus what a liar his sidekick is (He rushes over her but she turns her head, looks at him and provocs a headache. Gloria: Guess I've got to get it out of you the hard way, huh? (He falls on the floor) (Stefan is shirtless and lying on a table. There's candles everywhere. Gloria has a knife) Stefan: What is this? Why can't I move? Gloria: Relax. It's just a little paralysis spell. Nothing major (She cuts his forearms with the knife. There's a recipient on the floor to collect the blood) Gloria: Just got to get the information out of your pretty little head. You know, witches nowadays, they're into that new age stuff, but... I'm a little more old school voodoo (She takes little iron hooks and puts it in the forearms wounds. He screams) Gloria: This will stop that pesky healing Stefan: I won't tell you anything Gloria: You don't have to (When the blood falls on the recipient, there's some smoke) Gloria: You feel that? That's your essence. Your spirit. It lets me make a connection. Herbs help, too. Diviners, sage, witch hazel (She takes something) Gloria: But my personal favorite... (She rubs her hands) Gloria: Vervain (She puts her hands on his chest. He screams) [Lockwood's Mansion] (It's the secret coucil meeting) Liz: There have no been no incidence of question since spring. It's been quiet Carol: Anyone else have anything to add to the minutes? Damon? Damon: Ah, no, I think the sheriff covered it, mayor Lockwood. Looks like we've made it through the worst Carol: Well, I have nothing new to add, so thank you all for coming (Everyone leaves. Carol, Damon and Liz stays. Bill enters) Bill: I have a question. Do you three think that everybody on the council is clueless...Or just stupid? (They look at him, surprised) [Gilbert's House] (Bonnie and Jeremy are in his bedroom. There's candles and grimoires) Bonnie: Ok, tell me if you see anything in these grimoires that involves precious medals or a symbol that resembles a necklace Jeremy: Well, can't you just ask all the dead witches you were channeling? Bonnie: I don't have access to them anymore. They cut me off Jeremy: Since when? Bonnie: Since I brought you back to life. I messed with the balance of nature and there were consequences. Hey. I'm sorry. I know I should have told you. I told Elena when it happened. I just didn't want you to feel weird about it, you know? Jeremy: Hey, no, no, look, you don't have to apologize for anything. Ok? You didn't do anything wrong Bonnie: Elena said you've been having kind of a hard time since then Jeremy: No, I'm fine. You know, just been, ah, a little out of it lately. So should I concentrate on the older books? Or, uh, I mean, how old is this necklace? Bonnie: Old (She laughs. he sits down. He opens a grimoire, takes a necklace and looks at it. Anna is behind Bonnie) Anna: Jeremy. The darkness. It's here (Suddenly all the grimoires are on fire. They're surprised) Bonnie: Jeremy! (She removes the grimoire on Jerem's lap with her powers and puts out the fire with her powers) Bonnie: Are you ok? Jeremy: What the hell just happened? Bonnie: I have no idea [Gloria's bar, Chicago] (Stefan is still on the table. She takes some red pouder and rub her hands with it) Gloria: I'm impressed. You've got discipline, Stefan. It's not going to do you much good, but... Just let go, honey (He puts her hands on his chest. His skin burns and he screams) Gloria: There you go, there you go (She see images of Stefan and Elena together and him giveeng her the necklace) Gloria: There's the girl with the necklace. You love her. You'd do anything for her. And you have. A lot of darkness, a lot of guilt. All to keep her away from Klaus. Why would he be interested in one girl? Stefan: Don't do this. Don't do this (She sees the sacrifice and Klaus killing Elena) Gloria: She's the doppelganger. She's supposed to be dead, and that's why Klaus can't make hybrids, isn't it? (She laughs) Katherine: This is creepy (Gloria turns herself. Katherine's here and she puts a stake through her neck. Gloria falls on the floor, dead. Katherine looks at Stefan) Katherine: Maybe you do need my help, after all [SCENE_BREAK] [Lockwood's mansion] (Elena and Caroline are talking) Caroline: Did Stefan ever tell you where he got the necklace? Elena: No. And I never asked. Hopefully Bonnie will be able to figure it out (Alaric rejoins them) Alaric: Please tell me it's time to go Elena: Beyond. Where's Damon? Caroline: Probably off somewhere doing bad things to good people. Consider me the honesty police (Sunddenly she's not okay) Elena: What is it? Alaric: What the matter? Caroline: It's my dad (Elena and Alaric turn themselves to look at Bill) Elena: Why would he even show up here? Caroline: I don't know. But I can't... Elena: I get it. I'll call you later (Caroline leaves and goes upstairs) Alaric: Ok, what's that all about? Elena: Speaking of doing bad things to good people... (They leave. Damon rejoins them) Damon: Wait, wait, Houston, we have a problem Elena: Where have you been? Damon: Managing Bill Forbes. Apparently he's impervious to compulsion Alaric: How? Damon: I have no idea. But he threatened to out me. Don't get me started on the irony of that Elena: What did you do to him? How do you know the compulsion doesn't work? Damon: That's not the most important piece of information I mentioned, Elena Alaric: What does he want? Damon: He wants to control the council. Says it's been compromised Alaric: It has! Damon: He wants to put vervain in the town's water supply Elena: Maybe it's not a bad idea. I mean, it'll help you keep yourself in control now that Stefan's not here to... Damon: To what? To keep me in check? Make me behave? I should have killed him this morning Elena: He's Caroline's dad, Damon Damon: Yeah, and when I kill him, she'll have one more parent than we do Alaric: Oh, come on, Damon! Damon: You're repeatedly killing my buzz today, Ric. Step aside Alaric: Yeah, it's not going to happen Damon: Your temporary funeral (He kills Alaric by breaking his neck) Elena: Damon, no! What is wrong with you?! (He looks at her and leaves) [Gloria's bar, Chicago] (Stefan is putting Gloria's body in a sheet) Katherine: I've been thinking about your diabolical plan Stefan: Oh. Do tell Katherine: Well, you must know that Klaus is too paranoid to ever fully trust you. But the sister, she loves you like it was yesterday. She's the easier Mark. But you can't just pretend to care, because Klaus will know better, so you do the opposite. You bond with him; Make her feel left out. That will only make her want you more Stefan: Oh! So you mean, I'm, uh, I'm taking a page out of the Katherine Pierce playbook Katherine: The only question is why, Stefan? I mean, I get it, you want to keep Klaus away from Mystic Falls, but...What else do you expect to get from it? Stefan: You know what's funny? You keep talking to me like I actually trust you enough to tell you anything Katherine: Oh, come on, Stefan, we're beyond that. I saved you from Hilda the high voodoo priestess Stefan: Ok. I knew them, back in the twenties. They were running from someone. Someone who scared them Katherine: A hunter. I heard stories about him centuries ago Stefan: Don't you want to know why an original vampire who can't be killed is afraid of a vampire Hunter? Katherine: If you're planning on making a move against Klaus... I want in Stefan: That's good. It's good to want things, Katherine Katherine: Stefan... Stefan: Katherine. I'm in this alone. If you're looking for a diabolical partner in crime, I suggest you look elsewhere (He leaves with Gloria's body on his shoulder) [Lockwood's House] (Tyler enter his bedroom. Caroline is sitting on his bed) Caroline: How was football practice? Tyler: What are you doing here? Caroline: Hiding out from my dad. He's here Tyler: Are you ok? Do you want me to kick his ass? Caroline: Yes. No. I bought him the shirt he's wearing, it is really expensive (He touches her shoulders) Caroline: And through everything... He's still my dad. You know? (He embraces her and touches her hair) Caroline: God, you reek! Tyler: What? Caroline: That is bad Tyler: No, this? This is sexy Caroline: No! It's really bad (He takes off his shirt and they start to make out. She's on top of him when her phone rings) Caroline: Oh! Hang on, my phone Tyler: Oh, come on! (She answers) Caroline: I'm only answering in case it's a friend emergency Elena: It's an emergency (Bill is in the office, pouring himself some scotch. Damon enters) Damon: Whoa, whoa. Is that scotch? I figured you for an abstainer Bill: Everything in moderation. Keeps the mind clear from...influence Damon: Like vampire compulsion Bill: Yeah, I tried to tell you... Damon: Yeah, yeah, powerful tool. Got it. I'm impressed. Can't say I've ever seen that before Bill: Well, it takes a certain human focus. It's a skill that I've been honing for decades. Plus, your technique... Is a little lazy Damon: Duly noted. I'm curious. Why not just expose us to the council? Bill: I know you think I'm the bad guy here, Damon, but I would never expose my own daughter to those morons Damon: It's a pretty risky move, taking me on, don't you think? Bill: I knew what I was risking when I didn't leave town, but I figured... You're not self destructive enough to kill the sheriff's ex-husband Damon: Makes you the third person to underestimate me today (He rushes over him, bites him and drinks his blood. He stops. Bill is on his knees) Damon: Whoo. You know, with all this behavioral modification going on around here, I almost forgot how good blood tastes when it's...Fresh Bill: What are you going to do? Kill everybody who discovers your secret? Damon: No, I'm not going to kill you, Bill. I'm just going to find pleasure in perfect little moments like this (He bites him again but Caroline stops him, throws him against the wall and then throws him through the window. The she rushes over Bill) Caroline: Daddy! Are you ok? Bill: I'm fine Caroline: Here. It'll heal you (She bites her wrist) Bill: I said I'm ok Caroline: Grow up (She makes her dad drink her blood) Damon: Let me teach this ass-wheel a life lesson Caroline: Just get out of here Damon: Or what? (She hits him on the face and he throws her on the desk. Then he strangles her) Damon: I'm stronger than you, little girl (Elena enters) Caroline: Well, I'm angrier! (She breaks his arm. Then she takes his head, nuts it and throws him against the wall. Then she gets up and leaves with Bill. Elena's still here) Damon: Bummer. I love a good girl fight (He has blood on his mouth) Elena: You can't do this anymore, Damon. Not in this town. Not around me Damon: Why not? It's nothing I haven't done before. Why is it suddenly so important for everyone to keep me in check? Elena: Because I don't want you to be what other people think that you are Damon: What? A monster? Sorry to disappoint you, Elena, but last time I checked, I was still a vampire! Elena: I guess I wish that you didn't have to act like one! Damon: I am not Stefan. How about you stop trying to turn me into him? (He leaves) [Gilbert's House] (Jeremy is in the bathroom, washing his hands) Bonnie: Hey, Jeremy. There's ashes everywhere Jeremy: I'll go grab the vacuum Bonnie: No, I got it (She leaves. Anna apears) Anna: Are you ok? Jeremy: Don't Anna: What? Jeremy: Bonnie's here, ok? You've got to stop Anna: I was just trying to warn you. I felt something bad. Dangerous Jeremy: You... you just can't pop up every time she and I are together Anna: It's a two-way street, Jeremy. I only pop up when you're thinking about me. That's why you haven't told her. Isn't it? You don't want her to know you still care Jeremy: I can't do this right now. I can't. This is just too much Anna: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that Jeremy: Good-bye, Anna Anna: Don't! Jeremy, please. Don't shut me out (Her voice is less clear. Jeremy closes his eyes and when he reopens them, Anna's gone. Jeremy goes in his bedroom. Bonnie's there) Bonnie: What's wrong? Jeremy: You asked me before if something was wrong and I said no Bonnie: Yeah Jeremy: That was a lie. I was lying to you. When you brought me back to life... (Anna is in the bathroom, looking at them and crying. Her voice seems to be far away) Anna: Say you can hear me, Jeremy. Please! Jeremy: Something Happened... Anna: I am all alone! [A warehouse, Chicago] (Stefan looks at the coffins and stops in front of one. He touches it but Rebekah's enters so he removes his hand) Rebekah: You're back. Finally. Nik went to check on the witch (She looks at the coffin) Rebekah: Dreary, isn't it? The family cargo Stefan: Hmm. Why don't you undagger them? Rebekah: Because he would hunt me down and kill me. He's a vindictive little b*st*rd, my brother Stefan: But you still care about him. Why? Rebekah: Well, I hated him for a long time. It was exhausting (She sits down on the coffin and Stefan sits next to her) Stefan: You know, when I met you two, you were both on the run Rebekah: Also exhausting Stefan: Who were you running from? Rebekah: What do you mean? Stefan: Last night I saw you, there was a man looking for you. You both seemed afraid. I just... I wouldn't think Klaus would be afraid of anybody Rebekah: No one in this world is truly fearless, Stefan. Not even Niklaus Stefan: Who was that man? Rebekah: I can't. Please (She gets up) Rebekah: If Nik knew we were talking about this, he would... Stefan: No, no, no, I'm sorry (He gets up) Stefan: Just forget I asked. Ok? Rebekah: He told me about the girl you loved. The one that died. He also told me that you're only with him because he saved your brother Stefan: It's true Rebekah: I think he secretly admires that about you. You'd sacrifice anything for family. Don't tell him I told you that Stefan: Your secret... Is safe with me (She kisses him) Rebekah: Do you think you'll ever love anyone like you loved that girl? Stefan: One day, maybe Rebekah: I can always tell when you're lying, Stefan Stefan: What? I'm not... Rebekah: Don't bother. Your kiss already gave you away (Kaus enters) Klaus: Gloria's gone. She's cleared out. We need to find a new witch immediately (He stops and looks at them) Klaus: What's going on? Rebekah: Something's wrong. He was asking about Michael. He's not with us, Nik. I can sense it Stefan: She's wrong. Klaus... (Klaus rushes over him) [Salvatore's House] (Damon pours himself a drink and another drink. Then he goes to the coach. Alaric is still dead. Damon waggles his glass next to Alaric's ear) Damon: Wake up! (Alaric wakes up) Damon: It took a bit longer than usual, huh? Might want to get that ring checked. Hope it's not going bad Alaric: You killed me Damon: You pissed me off Alaric: You killed me! Damon: Ric, no hard feelings, all right? I was on a bit of a tear. Everyone was trying to tell me how to behave Alaric: Well, maybe they finally realized you're just a dick (He gets up and leaves) [Mystic Falls' Square] (Elena and Caroline are speaking) Caroline: I'm not going to say I told you so Elena: Thank you Caroline: But I did tell you Elena: Ok, you and Damon were both right. I was trying to change him. But if he wants to be in my life... Caroline: Wait. I... It's been a long week, so I'm just going to be blunt. It doesn't matter what he does, Damon's gotten under your skin Elena: That's not true Caroline: God, just admit it, Elena, ok? You are attracted to him! In all of his bad brother glory Elena: No Caroline: Wait, no, you're not attracted to him, or no, you just won't admit it? Elena: I can't, Caroline! If I admit it, if I even thought it for just a second... What does that say about me? Caroline: It says you're human, Elena (She sees her father) Elena: Do you need me to... Caroline: No, I got it (Caroline rejoins Bill) Caroline: Hey Bill; Hey. Don't worry, I'm going to go back home before somebody kills me Caroline: How's your... Bill: Oh, healed (He shows her his neck) Bill: Thank you. For coming to my rescue Caroline: You're welcome Bill: Bye, Caroline Caroline: Daddy. I'm going to be ok Bill: You're a vampire, sweetheart. I don't think you'll ever be ok again [Lockwood's mansion] (Alaric is talking with Liz and Carol) Liz: I understand where you're coming from, but... Alaric: The Gilbert family is a founding family, and they deserve to have a voice on the council. I'm taking care of them, I should be that voice Carol: That's not the way it works, Mr. Saltzman Alaric: Oh, really? Well, then tell me how it does. The council's job is to protect the people of this town. Now your daughter's a vampire and your son's a werewolf. So who's looking after the actual people? Some of them may be family or friends, but they are still supernatural. They don't follow our rules or our laws, they look after themselves, and that's what we need to do. I'll see you at the next meeting (She gets up and leaves) [Mystic Grill] (Katherine rejoins Bonnie at a table outside) Elena: Hey there Bonnie: Hey Elena: I just saw Jeremy. He said that you still have my necklace? Bonnie: Yeah, I haven't figured out what's going on with it yet Elena: I know. But I just... I feel weird without it. The whole Stefan of it all Bonnie: Okay (She gives her back her necklace) Bonnie: Did Jeremy also tell you that he's been seeing ghosts of his dead girlfriends this summer? (Elena is surprised) Elena: What? Bonnie: Vicki and Anna. He's been talking to them Elena: You're kidding Bonnie: I wish. It's because I brought him back to life. The witches said there would be consequences. Guess they were right (She turns his head to look at the waitress) Bonnie: You know, what am I supposed to... (Elena has disapeared. It was actually Katherine) [Salvatore's House] (Damon opens the door. Elena's here) Damon: I'll accept written apologies only (She smiles. It's Katherine, not Elena) Katherine: Are you two lovebirds fighting already? Damon: Katherine. Wonderful. What do you want? Katherine: I'm just a girl looking for a partner in crime. Feel like hitting the road? Getting the hell out of dodge? Damon: Impeccable timing. I was told I need to take a beat Katherine: Is that a yes? I'll drive Damon: Why not? Walls are starting to close in on me around here. Where are we going? Katherine: Away from here. That's all I'm going to give you for right now. But believe me... It's good (She shows him Elena's necklace) [A truck] (Stefan wakes up. Klaus' looking at him) Stefan: Just give me a chance to explain myself, ok? Klaus: No need. I'm not mad, I'm just curious. Rebekah seems to think you're holding onto something. A piece of your old life. The thing is, she's got flawless instincts, borderline supernatural. So I thought I would check it out. See for myself what it is you've been hiding (He opens the truck. They're in Mystic Falls) Klaus: Welcome back to Mystic Falls, Stefan

Plan: A: Chicago; Q: Where does Gloria the witch live? A: Klaus; Q: Who brings Stefan back to Mystic Falls to find out what he is hiding? A: Gloria; Q: Who tortures Stefan? A: Stefan; Q: Who is hiding the fact that the doppelgänger is still alive? A: Katherine; Q: Who steals Elena's necklace? A: Damon; Q: Who tries to kill Bill? A: compulsion; Q: What is Bill impervious to? A: the Council; Q: What does Damon want to control? A: life; Q: What does Alaric come back to after Damon kills him? A: Caroline; Q: Who saves her father by giving him her blood? A: a fight; Q: What does Caroline have with Damon after saving her father? A: Bonnie; Q: Who returns to Mystic Falls? A: Jeremy; Q: Who tells Bonnie about seeing his ex-girlfriends as ghosts? A: Rebekah; Q: What is the name of Klaus' sister? A: Mikael; Q: What is Klaus and his sister running from? A: Elena's necklace; Q: What does Katherine steal that can contact the Original Witch? Summary: In Chicago, Klaus uses Gloria the witch to find out why his hybrids are not turning out the way he planned and Gloria discovers that Stefan is hiding the fact that the doppelgänger is still alive. She tortures Stefan, but Katherine saves him. Back in Mystic Falls, Damon finds out Bill is impervious to compulsion and wants control of the Council. He temporarily kills Alaric but Alaric comes back to life. Damon then tries to kill Bill but Caroline saves her father by giving him her blood and has a fight with Damon. Meanwhile, Bonnie returns to Mystic Falls and Jeremy tells her about seeing his ex-girlfriends as ghosts. Stefan also tries to find out what Klaus and his sister Rebekah are running from. The answer turns out to be Mikael. Katherine steals Elena's necklace that can contact the Original Witch and teams up with Damon. Klaus brings Stefan back to Mystic Falls to find out what he is hiding.

The Sensorites By Peter R. Newman 5:15pm - 5:40pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1, INT: CONTROL ROOM (The whistling tone is felt once more in the control room and Susan looks up.) SUSAN: I don't want to go. DOCTOR: My dear what..? BARBARA: They're talking to her again. IAN: What are they saying? SUSAN: Ssh! I-I can't hear them very well. ...Oh that's better, there-there's just one voice a long way away. DOCTOR: What's the message child? SUSAN: Oh... Oh alright. But none of the others must be harmed. (She glances at the Doctor, Ian and Barbara.) SUSAN: Don't move any of you. Grandfather it was the only way, they knew I'd agree. (She walks to the open doorway to the port corridor. DOCTOR: Agree? To what? SUSAN: To go down with them to their planet. Otherwise we'll all be killed. (Susan walks through the doorway and joins the Sensorites. The shutter closes behind her.) BARBARA: Susan mustn't go with them. DOCTOR: There can't be air outside this spaceship. MAITLAND: You can't stop them. DOCTOR: We must! IAN: Come with me Barbara. RICHMOND: Don't! They'll only harm her or kill her if we try and interfere! IAN: And if we do nothing she'll die. (Ian walks over to the shutter and raises it.) BARBARA: We intend to try out the Doctor's theory that they can't see in the dark? IAN: Why not? It's all we have. (They walk through to the Starboard corridor.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2, INT: STARBOARD CORRIDOR (The Sensorites and Susan turn as they hear Ian And Barbara enter the corridor.) SECOND-SENSORITE: Go back. SUSAN: Don't interfere, please. SECOND-SENSORITE: The young girl has agreed to go with us. She will not be harmed, why do you follow us now? BARBARA: She must not go with you. FIRST-SENSORITE: They are not carrying any weapons, yet I am frightened of them. Do not come any closer. IAN: We want to talk to you. SECOND-SENSORITE: We do not wish to harm you in any way. IAN: I said talk, not fight. SECOND-SENSORITE: Intruders from other planets always say they want to talk, but all they mean to do is destroy! SUSAN: Ian, please let me go with them! Because I can use telepathy they trust me. (Ian and Barbara exchange a glance.) BARBARA: You're not going with them Susan, and that's final. SUSAN: Why? It's suspicion that's making them enemies. You don't understand the Sensorites. DOCTOR: Do you think I don't understand? (The Doctor has crept through the doorway and has been listening.) DOCTOR: Trust is a two sided affair. SUSAN: Putting us all in danger. DOCTOR: If you go with them they will have all the advantage. SUSAN: They only want to talk to me! DOCTOR: I'm sorry Susan, I just don't believe you have the ability to represent us, that's all. SUSAN: Stop treating me like a child! DOCTOR: You will do as you are told Susan! Come here! (The Sensorites seem to be trying not to show their embarrassment at being at the centre of a growing domestic dispute.) SUSAN: Sorry Grandfather, I can't do it. DOCTOR: This instant! (Susan slowly moves over to the Doctor and the second Sensorite turns to the first.) SECOND-SENSORITE: We must stun them with the hand rays. (They reach for their weapons.) DOCTOR: Now Chesterton! (Ian flips off the light and the Sensorites drop their weapons and flail blindly moaning in terror.) IAN: You were absolutely right Doctor! They're helpless in the dark. DOCTOR: Susan, go and join Carol. Wait there, I want to talk to you. SECOND-SENSORITE: Give us back the light! FIRST-SENSORITE: Oh the light, the light. Oh I can't see, can't see! SECOND-SENSORITE: Please help us! DOCTOR: Put on the light Chesterton. (Ian does so.) DOCTOR: Now, you could have been left here in the darkness. We have power over you, but we don't intend to use it. Only in our defence. SECOND-SENSORITE: What do you want? DOCTOR: Nothing that isn't ours. IAN: You stole the lock from our ship. You also threatened to take us prisoner. SECOND-SENSORITE: We must ask for new orders. DOCTOR: What's that? Speak up! SECOND-SENSORITE: I must refer this matter to the Sense-Sphere. (The second Sensorite places the TAD to his head and there is a whistling tone.) DOCTOR: Well? FIRST-SENSORITE: You must be patient. DOCTOR: Oh I won't be p..! Oh, what a bit off nonsense. If they try anything put the light out again. IAN: Alright I will. DOCTOR: Dictated to by petty thieves and my own Grandchild! (He leaves the corridor again.) IAN: I wonder what that thing is they put up to their foreheads, Barbara? Do you think if we did it we could read each other's minds? Hey, Barbara? BARBARA: Er? Sorry I was thinking. You know, I've never seen the Doctor so angry. IAN: Oh Susan set him off didn't she? The Sensorites must have hypnotised her in some way. (Barbara smiles at Ian.) BARBARA: No I don't think so. She's just growing up Ian. [SCENE_BREAK] 3, INT: CONTROL ROOM DOCTOR: What is all this? Setting yourself against me, mm? SUSAN: I didn't, Grandfather. DOCTOR: Oh I know you thought you were doing your best, child, in the circumstances, but I think that I'm a better judge of that. SUSAN: I have opinions too! DOCTOR: My dear girl, the one purpose in growing old is to accumulate knowledge and wisdom. And to help other people. SUSAN: So I'm to be treated like a silly little child? DOCTOR: If you behave like one, yes. SUSAN: Oh look Grandfather, I understand the Sensorites. They're timid little people. Because their minds and mine can communicate sometimes they trust me. DOCTOR: Yes, and I can assure you that we will make good use of that fact, but not without discussion. You will not make decisions on your own accord. (Susan sighs.) DOCTOR: Now do you understand, is that quite clear? Well is it? SUSAN: Look, I'm not saying that I'm as clever as you or anything, of course I'm not, but I won't be pushed aside! (She turns away from him.) SUSAN: I'm not a child anymore Grandfather, I'm not! (The Doctor rubs the side of her shoulders in an affectionate Grandfatherly way.) DOCTOR: Oh Susan, Susan... (The aliens wander in, but Ian is still keeping a watchful eye on from a short distance away.) FIRST-SENSORITE: Why do you make her unhappy? SECOND-SENSORITE: We can read the misery in her mind. DOCTOR: Yes, and it's a good thing that you can't read the anger in mine! In all the years my Granddaughter and I have been travelling we have never had an argument, and now you have caused one! SUSAN: Alright Grandfather, I'll do as you tell me. DOCTOR: Good, good, now let's work together and see if we can't get the lock of the TARDIS back, mm? FIRST-SENSORITE: We have orders from the First Elder. IAN: Is he your ruler? FIRST-SENSORITE: Yes. He says we must listen to you, and to transmit your words to him. DOCTOR: Very well, I'd like to talk to him face to face. I want to arrange the release of this spaceship. Tell him we're not pirates or plunderers, there is only one treasure we desire from him. FIRST-SENSORITE: And what is that? DOCTOR: Freedom! [SCENE_BREAK] 4, INT: JOHN'S CABIN (John moans softly and then sits bolt upright in bed. Carol sits next to him and moves a comforting arm around his shoulders.) RICHMOND: Oh it's alright John, I'm here. JOHN: The voices I can hear them. (She strokes his head tenderly.) RICHMOND: I know. JOHN: In here, the voices. Afraid... Begging me. RICHMOND: John, John do you know who I am? (He looks at her a little vaguely.) JOHN: You're good. The Sensorites, they want me to forget. All the voices begging me and imploring me to forget... (Carol seems hurt by his confusion and cannot meet his gaze. Maitland walks into the cabin.) RICHMOND: John's just woken up. (Maitland places a Captainly hand on John's shoulder.) MAITLAND: You look much better John, much better. We'll soon have you as good as new. JOHN: I don't like the voices. I want to have silence in my head. MAITLAND: You're going to be alright John. Try not to upset yourself. (He screws up his face in agony.) JOHN: No... Silence, silence... RICHMOND: It's no use is it? He might as well be dead. MAITLAND: Oh that's foolish Carol! RICHMOND: Oh is it? Look at him, Listen to him! Can you imagine what it's like being in love with someone, to look and them, to see them and know they've been destroyed? MAITLAND: You're going down to the Sense Sphere with John and some of the others, they're going to cure him. RICHMOND: Oh it's no use, it's too late. (She looks back at John, who is still muttering to himself.) JOHN: You're good... [SCENE_BREAK] 5, INT: CONTROL ROOM BARBARA: And you can do something for John, really? SECOND-SENSORITE: Yes, in time. IAN: Oh that's the point isn't it? How long. When you're asking Barbara and Maitland to stay on the spaceship while we go down to the Sense-Sphere. SECOND-SENSORITE: We cannot trust you without some safeguard. IAN: But you're asking us to trust you. SECOND-SENSORITE: We shall prove trust by curing the man called John. IAN: Well I don't like this splitting up. BARBARA: Well I don't mind Ian. IAN: Well I do. It always leads to trouble. SECOND-SENSORITE: We cannot agree to any other kind of arrangement. BARBARA: Then we accept. IAN: Oh very well then. But how do we get down to this Sense-Sphere? There's no air outside this ship. SECOND-SENSORITE: A craft will be made available to you. (The Doctor joins them.) DOCTOR: Before we make this journey, one or two questions. SECOND-SENSORITE: There is time, the craft has not arrived yet. DOCTOR: These, er, disks which you wear round your neck. You press them to your forehead and you speak or hear through your mind, mm? SECOND-SENSORITE: Yes. DOCTOR: Otherwise you communicate as we do. SECOND-SENSORITE: Yes. DOCTOR: Yes I see, quite remarkable. Then you use the telepathy to blanket out the minds of the spaceship's crew, mm? (As the Doctor's tone gets louder the Sensorite shrinks away a little covering his ears.) SUSAN: Gently Grandfather, don't antagonise them. DOCTOR: I merely want to know why you attacked Maitland and the others. SECOND-SENSORITE: Ten years ago five human beings landed on the Sense-Sphere, our planet welcomed them. Their minds were closed against us, although we sensed they thought our planet was a rich one. DOCTOR: Rich in megna-minerals, yes quite, go on... SECOND-SENSORITE: The five men quarreled, two of the humans took off in a ship. It exploded a mile in the atmosphere. BARBARA: What happened to the other three men? SECOND-SENSORITE: We imagined they hid themselves aboard and then fought the other two for control. Anyway, all were killed. IAN: Yes, but that still doesn't explain why you attacked Maitland and the others. SECOND-SENSORITE: Ever since that day of the explosion in the sky our people have been dying in greater numbers every year. DOCTOR: Yeah, some kind of disease I imagine Chesterton. IAN: Maybe. BARBARA: Could be as simple as scarlet fever. SUSAN: And yet you're allowing us to visit your planet? SECOND-SENSORITE: Our people are dying, and the First Elder says he senses great knowledge in you. DOCTOR: Haha, I thought so! Yes-yes-yes, some kind of er, bargaining ahead of us. Hahah! (The First Sensorite walks over to the Second with his TAD to his head.) FIRST-SENSORITE: The craft is approaching. (They both wander into a corner to communicate with their disks.) IAN: Well I suppose it's worth it Doctor, if we get the lock of the TARDIS back. DOCTOR: Yes, providing we can produce our side of the bargain, that's the whole point of the issue. Well my dear, reluctant as I am to leave you I'm afraid we have no alternative. BARBARA: Oh I shall be alright. I'm more worried about you. DOCTOR: Oh I shall manage. Come along my boy. IAN: Sorry about this Barbara. BARBARA: I keep telling you, I shall be alright. IAN: Alright. (He smiles and walks towards the doorway.) BARBARA: Susan. (Susan wanders back to Barbara.) SUSAN: Yes? BARBARA: Look, I know how you feel, but your Grandfather loves you. SUSAN: Yes I know. BARBARA: Be patient. We're all on your side really, you know. (The Doctor joins Susan.) DOCTOR: Susan? We can't do without you, can we? (He leads her to the door, where Ian and the Sensorites are waiting.) IAN: Well, we're all ready now. SECOND-SENSORITE: I will stay on this ship. You must proceed to the Sense-Sphere, the First Elder awaits you. (They all walk through the hatch, and out towards the airlock) [SCENE_BREAK] 6, INT: RECEPTION ROOM (The Sensorite world reflects a great love for aesthetic beauty and function equally well. Throughout the city, cavernous spaces are constructed out of breathtaking stone and crystal architecture. Indeed all the buildings seem to be constructed widely and cornerlessly. Large expanses of space for windows, and a general lack of roofs indicate a desire to maximise the light from the Sense-Sphere's suns, and bear testament to how little free moisture there appears to be on the surface. The reception room is a typical area set within a main palace in the capital Sensorite city. Doorways lead away from the this central location in numerous directions. The First Elder, leader of the Sensorite nation sits resplendent in his black double sash of office. His chair faces a subordinate Sensorite in a single sash. A third, in a black collar stands beside them listening. A worker delivers the First Elder some refreshments, bows, and then leaves.) FIRST-ELDER: But I have already made my decision. SECOND-ELDER: The deaths of our people will increase. FIRST-ELDER: You cannot prove that. SECOND-ELDER: The deaths began at the time of the last visiting of human beings. Why should we welcome to our planet the same creatures who have been the means of our destruction? FIRST-ELDER: I am the ruler of this planet, am I not? SECOND-ELDER: Of course. FIRST-ELDER: Then what is the point of a ruler if he is not allowed to rule? I have decided to invite these humans here because I hope to use them to end the deaths of our own people. SECOND-ELDER: But how? FIRST-ELDER: I will explain: sometimes you must use fire to fight fire. SECOND-ELDER: The First Elder makes a wise decision. In one degree I confess I am anxious; these creatures, these Earth people are loud and ugly things. Why could we have not met them in the desert or on the mountains? FIRST-ELDER: It is the failure of all beings that they judge through their own eyes. To them we may appear to be ugly. What we must create between us is trust - that is why I have invited them to my palace. SECOND-ELDER: But are we sure these Earth creatures are beings as you say? There are animals in the deserts and the mountains, but we do not invite them into our palaces. Perhaps these Earth creatures are animals too? FIRST-ELDER: Do not underestimate them. Do we possess a spaceship that can cross the barriers of the universe? And this small mechanism which my men brought to me. (He holds up the lock of the TARDIS.) FIRST-ELDER: It looks like an ordinary lock, but in point of fact it is an electronic miracle, which reveals a mind of science far beyond ours. And this new arrival known as the Doctor. His mind was quick to realise our weakness in the dark, and use it against us; but I would remind you, not unfairly. Merely to protect the girl called Susan. (He turns to the City Administrator.) FIRST-ELDER: Well, and what does our city Administrator say? ADMINISTRATOR: Sir, you were elected to lead our people because of your great brain. I would not dare to question your actions. (The FIRST-ELDER gets up.) FIRST-ELDER: No opinion can be worse sometimes than a very dogmatic one. (He walks off. As soon as he has gone the Administrator turns to the Second Elder. SECOND-ELDER: You need not fear me, you may speak your mind. ADMINISTRATOR: I am cautious. You are his second opinion, yet he makes his decisions without you. SECOND-ELDER: He makes a wise decision. ADMINISTRATOR: But based entirely on trust. Do you trust these Earth creatures? (The Second Elder is silent, and the Administrator paces the terrace in thought.) ADMINISTRATOR: No more do I. SECOND-ELDER: The decision of the First Elder cannot be set aside. ADMINISTRATOR: I would not suggest such a thing, his mind is pure. We are realists. That is why I have beamed the disintegrator to this room. (The Second Elder jumps up.) SECOND-ELDER: Without permission? You are presumptuous. ADMINISTRATOR: I am the city's Administrator, it is my duty to protect the one who rules. Can you say that these Earth creatures will not use force? I am only guarding the First Elder. On suspicious act and the disintegrator shall destroy them. SECOND-ELDER: Very well, but you will do nothing further until I have considered the matter. (He walks away and the Administrator waits until he is out of mindshot.) ADMINISTRATOR: I shall not wait. We will not be safe until those Earth creatures are dead. [SCENE_BREAK] 7, EXT: ROOF TERRACE (The Doctor's party have landed with the first Sensorite. They walk along the delicately coloured roof terrace, walls decorated with masses of bizarre looking foliage. Through view spaces glimpses can just be made out of the strangely spherical buildings and sweeping elegant bridges glittering in the sun, framed by the enormous jagged teeth of the yellow mountains in the far distance.) DOCTOR: I'm glad to have left those silent people. FIRST-SENSORITE: Earth people are not popular. (The walk by a simple stone fountain, the sunlight turning the glittering water into myriad rainbows. Two workers silently watch them as they pass.) IAN: Because your people have been dying? FIRST-SENSORITE: Yes. DOCTOR: It must be explained to them the disease, if that's what it is isn't anybody's fault. Besides, there's cures and preventives. (The Sensorite stops before a closed door and raises his TAD to his forehead for a moment to summon the lift.) FIRST-SENSORITE: You mentioned speaking to the people. You must not speak to them, you are forbidden to talk to the lower caste. SUSAN: Lower caste? Do you have such distinctions? FIRST-SENSORITE: Yes. How else can we tell what each man is best fitted to do? The Elders think and rule, the warriors fight, the Sensorites work and play. DOCTOR: You make it sound so very simple. FIRST-SENSORITE: And all are happy. IAN: But some are happier than others, eh? FIRST-SENSORITE: I do not understand. There is no disgrace in being in any of the castes, it is simply what one is best fitted for. (The lift doors swish open and the Sensorite, the Doctor and Ian get in, but Susan stays a moment.) JOHN: They're near us now... RICHMOND: It's alright John I'm here. JOHN: The evil minds. SUSAN: He knows something. RICHMOND: Oh it's just a jumble of words. SUSAN: No Carol, no, remember his mind is open. He can tell the difference between good and evil in people. He's trying to tell us something. (Susan looks at him, but he seems confused again and just stares. After a moment they move to join the others in the lift.) RICHMOND: Come on now, come on...come on. [SCENE_BREAK] 8, INT: DISINTEGRATOR ROOM (The disintegrator room is small and packed with electronic equipment. On the walls are a number of circles of different sizes and to one side a worker caste Sensorite huddles over a transparent console that reveals a glowing mass of circuitry beneath the levers. The Administrator looks on as adjustments are made.) ADMINISTRATOR: Is everything prepared? ENGINEER: I must test the impulse circuits. Ready to receive power. ADMINISTRATOR: Here is the firing key. (The Administrator hands a large metal rod to the Scientist, who slots it into the top of the console.) ADMINISTRATOR: Beam the disintegrator to the reception room at the palace of the Elders. Three places have been assigned to the Earth creatures. Horizontal lines four. ENGINEER: Four. ADMINISTRATOR: Seven and nine. ENGINEER: Nine. And the vertical positions? ADMINISTRATOR: X-A two. ENGINEER: X-A two. ADMINISTRATOR: X-B three. ENGINEER: X-B three. And the last? ADMINISTRATOR: X-C four. ENGINEER: X-C four. What part of the body do you want the beam to strike? ADMINISTRATOR: In each case, to the heart. ENGINEER: Are the hearts of the human creatures on the right or the left side of their bodies, or the centre as in ours? ADMINISTRATOR: I do not know. ENGINEER: Then I will aim the beam at the centre of the chest in each case. ADMINISTRATOR: And that will prove fatal? ENGINEER: Yes. (He flips a few switches.) ENGINEER: Two eight seven. The disintegrator is beamed and ready. (He examines the machinery.) ENGINEER: They are just entering the corridor to the reception room now. Impulse is working correctly. They are just entering the reception room. This switch turns on the beam. ADMINISTRATOR: How can you judge their movements so correctly Engineer? ENGINEER: The palace is defended with electro-thermal couples. We can tell their movements by the heat of their body. ADMINISTRATOR: And you can tell exactly when they move into their places in the reception room? ENGINEER: With absolute accuracy. ADMINISTRATOR: Then when they are seated, kill them. [SCENE_BREAK] 9, INT: RECEPTION ROOM FIRST-ELDER: Very well I agree. SUSAN: You can do it? FIRST-ELDER: Yes, the man John can be exactly as he used to be, but it will take time. (He addresses a worker caste Sensorite.) FIRST-ELDER: Conduct him to one of the rest rooms. Say that my orders are that he must be treated. (The worker bows.) RICHMOND: I must go with him, because he needs me. FIRST-ELDER: Very well, you will be given a room near him. RICHMOND: Thank you. Come on John. JOHN: Good...he is a good man. Not like... DOCTOR: Not like who, John? JOHN: He's good. (Carol and John depart with the Sensorite.) IAN: Thank you for being so understanding. DOCTOR: It doesn't alter the fact that you're responsible for his condition. I think It's utterly disgraceful! (The First Elder holds up a hand.) FIRST-ELDER: Please do not condemn before you know the facts. DOCTOR: Facts?! What facts! (The Elder holds up a hand to his ear in pain.) SUSAN: Grandfather, please don't. FIRST-ELDER: Please sit at the places set for you. (They all move towards the tables) [SCENE_BREAK] 10, INT: DISINTEGRATOR ROOM ENGINEER: They are just taking their positions. ADMINISTRATOR: Get ready to fire! (The scientist's hand hovers over the disintegrator lever, when the Second Elder marches into the room.) SECOND-ELDER: Stop! Disconnect the disintegrator. ADMINISTRATOR: Why? SECOND-ELDER: Because they are decent, they are civilised. ADMINISTRATOR: They are Earth creatures and dangerous to us! SECOND-ELDER: I tell you, they are talking to the First Elder, and in the most friendly fashion. We have no need to fear them. ADMINISTRATOR: Not while we have the disintegrator, it is beamed to their location. They can be destroyed in a second. SECOND-ELDER: But will not be. Dismantle the machine. ADMINISTRATOR: I say that the trust we give to each other we cannot give to these Earth creatures! SECOND-ELDER: And I order that the machine be dismantled. (The engineer flips a few switches.) SECOND-ELDER: Give me the firing key. (The engineer extracts the rod and hands it to the Elder.) SECOND-ELDER: I am doubtful about you. You question orders, you question authority. Take care lest my doubts should become reality. (With a brief look back, he leaves the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11, INT: RECEPTION ROOM (The Doctor, Ian and Susan each sit behind a small round table while the First Elder stands talking. A worker Sensorite provides the tables with bowls of refreshments. Bowls of small desert fruits and receptacles of water.) FIRST-ELDER: If foreigners came to your planet with the intention to steal, what would you do? Would you imprison them, would you kill them? The man John was like the other humans that came here. He became so excited when he found that our planet contained a valuable ore that his mind just opened up and shouted out the secret to us. (The Doctor peers down at his metal bowl.) DOCTOR: Molybdenum. FIRST-ELDER: That is correct. He thought of a fleet of spaceships to come here and mine the metal and transport it back to his own planet. We saw the pictures he formed in his mind, and we saw that it was the end of our way of life. We had no alternative but to imprison him and his friends in orbit round the Sense-Sphere. IAN: Yes, but that's no reason for driving him out of his mind! FIRST-ELDER: It happened only, I assure you, because of his excitement. His mind had no reserve...no defence. We caused the others to sleep, but he heard the full power of our voices in his brain. (The Elder sits behind a table of his own, and is served by the worker. The Doctor lifts the receptacle to his mouth.) FIRST-ELDER: Stop! (The Doctor stops and watches as the Elder addresses the worker.) FIRST-ELDER: Why do you offer insults to our guests? Why do you not give them the same food and drink that I am given? Who ordered this, the city Administrator? (The worker nods.) FIRST-ELDER: You will bring them the crystal water, and take the other away. IAN: Tell me, what exactly is the difference? FIRST-ELDER: In the yellow mountains which surround this city I discovered a pure spring, very unusual in this planet. I believe the water holds special qualities, so I have flagons of it stored for the use of the Elders. IAN: And this one? FIRST-ELDER: It is very well refined, we are very proud of our aqueduct. It lies beneath the city. IAN: Well I hope you won't be offended if I drink some, I'm very thirsty. (Ian drinks from his metal eggcup-like receptacle.) FIRST-ELDER: As long as you taste of the crystal water, it is very fine. None of the Elders drink anything else. DOCTOR: Drink his water. IAN: Yes. SUSAN: Mm, these fruit are delicious, they taste like peaches. IAN: Mm. (The Doctor clears his throat.) DOCTOR: Now then sir, let us talk of the future; our future, mm? [SCENE_BREAK] 12, INT: DISINTEGRATOR ROOM ADMINISTRATOR: We are being bound hand and foot and given to these people from Earth. Our leaders are grown weak. ENGINEER: I will follow you, the city Administrator. Command me. (The Administrator places a hand on his shoulder.) ADMINISTRATOR: I thank you for your loyalty. You shall have my confidence. ENGINEER: I gladly accept. I do not trust these Earth creatures. ADMINISTRATOR: The First and Second Elders are deceived. I question their leadership. If they do not change their attitude they may have to give way to one of stronger thought, and action. ENGINEER: Command me. ADMINISTRATOR: For the moment I am glad of your loyalty. The time for action will not be far away. [SCENE_BREAK] 13, INT: RECEPTION ROOM SUSAN: So you are the senior Elder? FIRST-ELDER: Signified by the twin sash I wear. The Second Elder, my advisor wears one sash. Other important professions wear distinctive markings. IAN: And the ordinary people? FIRST-ELDER: Are contented with their similarity. IAN: Would you mind telling us something about the d... (He breaks off as he suffers a violent coughing fit.) IAN: I beg your pardon, the disease. SUSAN: Yes, could you tell us about it? We might be able to help you. FIRST-ELDER: I intended to. We need help with this calamity, the disease is invisible and resists all our attempts to stamp it out. It affects all manner of people irrespective of their caste. DOCTOR: Yes er, does it affect the Elders? FIRST-ELDER: No. DOCTOR: I wonder why not? FIRST-ELDER: I cannot imagine, we have been... Fortunate? (Ian coughs again.) DOCTOR: Yes it, er, might be a clue. But what I hoped sir, was this ah... that if my friends succeed where your scientists fail, will you return the lock of my craft? SUSAN: It would be a just return. FIRST-ELDER: Your Granddaughter speaks well. DOCTOR: Yes, she's a fine young woman. (Ian coughs again and the Doctor turns.) DOCTOR: My dear Chesterton, are you alright, mm? (He can only manage a hoarse rasp.) IAN: My throat's burning, I wonder if you could give me some water, Doctor? DOCTOR: Is this a symptom of your disease? (The First Elder nods. Suddenly Ian jumps up making a gurgling sound, knocks the small table to the side and sprawls to the floor. Susan rushes to his side.) SUSAN: Grandfather, he's unconscious! (The First Elder looks down at Ian sadly.) FIRST-ELDER: There is no hope. Your friend is dying.

Plan: A: The Doctor; Q: Who travels to the Sense Sphere to cure an illness? A: Susan; Q: Who communicates with the Sensorites? A: the TARDIS; Q: Where do the Doctor, Ian, Barbara and Susan arrive on board a spaceship? A: the ship's human crew; Q: Who is suffering from telepathic interference from the Sensorites? A: an attack; Q: What do the aliens fear from the humans? A: the Sense Sphere; Q: Where is the Sensorites' planet? A: deliberate poisoning; Q: What is the cause of the illness that the Sensorites and Ian have succumbed to? A: another threat; Q: What does the political manoeuvring of the Sensorite City Administrator pose to the TARDIS crew? A: the TARDIS crew; Q: Who is the Sensorite City Administrator trying to discredit and implicate? Summary: The Doctor, Ian, Barbara and Susan arrive in the TARDIS on board aspaceship. Their initial concern is for the ship's human crew, who are suffering from telepathic interference from the Sensorites, but Susan communicates with the Sensorites and finds the aliens fear an attack by the humans and are just defending themselves. Travelling to the Sense Sphere (the Sensorites' planet) the Doctor seeks to cure an illness to which the Sensorites and Ian have succumbed, but finds it has been caused by deliberate poisoning. The political manoeuvring of the Sensorite City Administrator poses another threat to the TARDIS crew as he seeks to discredit and implicate them.

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] You and I make a lot more money as partners than as enemies. Boyd: "Partners" just means that, well, we do all the work while you make all the money. Wynn: Should I be putting my hands up or something? Raylan: Gary doesn't realize you were gonna kill him anyway. I don't care where you go. I'd leave the country, but that's entirely up to you. Here. This is for you. Fill, please. [ Laughs ] [ Gunshot ] [ Gasps ] Aah! Please! Boyd: Our oxy clinic got hit this morning. I need to know everything I can about what transpired. The people who bank with me are the ones who have access to the things I know. Wynn: It may be a coincidence, but a few hours after the hit, Raylan Givens shut down our trailer. That's not a bad trade-off... Losing a clinic but smoking out a dirty marshal in the process. You still don't even know what you done, do you? You gonna make sure whoever you used to hit that clinic is either dead or silent. Arlo: Never listen to me. Independent. They're all the same nowadays. Bunch of bullshit. Damn woman always talking back. Never listen to the man in the house. Independent. Independent. Limehouse? Get out here, son of a bitch. This sh1t ain't gonna happen again. Limehouse? You hear me? You don't look like Limehouse. No. Arlo: Then I'd get out of my way, I was you. Look what the cat drug in. 'Bout damn time. You couldn't pick up a phone and tell me what's what? I know, man. I'm sorry. sh1t's been crazy. Yeah, it looks like it. Bernard, you reckon there were any blues waitin' in the wings, watch Mr. Dodd cross into Noble? No. No one knows I'm here. Look, I did the job we agreed on. The law's huntin' me. If Quarles knows I did this, I'm a dead man. This holler's the only safe place I got. Least till I heal up some. Come on, man. Sure. You did the right thing coming back here. Come on! No, no, no, man! Come on! No, please! No, man, no! Come on! Please! Hey, hey, hey. Let him go. Aah! [ Groans ] Come here, Mr. Dodd. [ Whistles ] You sit down right here. Come on. There you go. Sit right on up here. [ Grunting ] Yep. Mm-hmm. I heard what Errol got you into. I'm sure it seemed like a surefire way to make some coin... branch out a little bit, right? You can nod if you understand. In Errol's attempt to branch out, he left out one little small step... forgot to run the plan by me. And the sh1t went bad. And the law's after you. And now we got ourselves a situation, don't we?! Yeah, we can work it out... Errol's way... Or you can rest up in this holler, lick your wounds, stay away from the law. And then you go right on back to Mr. Quarles with your tail 'tween your legs, and you tell him this whole thing was your idea to get back at the Crowders... And you thought he would approve. How that sound? Sounds good. That it? Not quite. See, I'm gonna want to know what Mr. Quarles is up to. I believe you can help me out there, huh? Good. Hey, I'm glad we're on the same page. What is it? Got some old white fool down the road, yelling for Mr. Limehouse. Watch him. [ Crickets chirping ] State your business, Mr. Givens. Arlo: You know what I'm here for. As long as you have known me, have I ever been the kind to play dumb? Arlo: I ain't here for blood-lettin', but if that's what it comes to, I'm ready. See, that's that alcohol talking. Arlo: I ain't had one drop. You'd best retrace your steps. That way history doesn't have to repeat itself. Arlo: I'm not leaving till you send one of your lapdogs up in that maze and bring back my Frances. Frances? Frances? Arlo: I know she's up there. Frances! Either you go get her or I will. Mr. Givens, I assure you, Frances is not on this property. Arlo: [ Grunts ] Who's Frances? It's the man's late wife. What you want to do with him? [ Music playing, [ indistinct talking in distance ] [SCENE_BREAK] What can I get you? Raylan: Some sleep. Can't get you that. You could drink till you pass out. Would that help? Raylan: It might. [SCENE_BREAK] We haven't met yet. I'm Lindsey. Raylan: Raylan. I know. Kent said any brawls break out, call the cowboy upstairs and see how long they last. Raylan: And for that, I get free NFL Sunday ticket. [ Laughs ] And tonight, your first drink is free. Raylan: Oh. I got that going for me as well. What can I pour for you? Raylan: Bourbon, please. Hi. Can you settle a bet for us? Raylan: Um... We've seen you in here the past couple nights, and we want to know if you were born before disco or after? [ Both laugh ] Raylan: You ladies have a good night. Oh, come on, don't be a sourpuss let's take a shot. Uh, three jager bombs. You want that on your tab? Raylan: No. No, thank you. Why don't you put them on my tab? And a pappy van winkle, neat, for me. Your friends? Raylan: No. Love your new digs. Raylan: Thanks. Tried a few nights at the Hilton. Didn't work out with my per diem. What happened to the old place? Raylan: Not enough closet space. Room above a bar... you sure you can live this large on your salary? Raylan: Well... The owner gave me a good deal. In exchange for what... Keeping the peace? Raylan: Something like that. You're a bouncer in a dive bar. Raylan: Just when I'm here. Isn't that gig reserved for uniforms or retirees? Raylan: Martinis are only three bucks. Marshal. Forgive me for saying this, but I think you could be doing a whole lot better. Raylan: Is that why you're here? Set me on a course of self-improvement? You want me to get to the point? Raylan: I'd just as soon you'd get the hell out. I will. I just want to say this. Whatever Boyd Crowder's paying you, I will double it. Raylan: Excuse me? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You heard me. Raylan: You think I'm in Boyd Crowder's pocket? Judging by your circumstances, I would say you're an undervalued asset. Raylan: Is that how they teach you to pitch a bribe in business school? "U" of "M"... go blue. Raylan: Yeah, on the Detroit mob's dime. Summa cum laude... could've gone to wall street, done some real damage. I prefer working with reputable folk. Raylan: Well, so do I. Which is why, when I hear about your propensity for tooling up male hustlers, it gives me pause. Put that one boy in a coma for three weeks, up at woodward and six mile. Not the kind of thing the bent-nose crowd takes kindly to, I imagine. Is that why you're here? Sent into exile? Don't we all make mistakes, Raylan? Raylan: But you keep making them. Waltzing in here, offering me a deal like we're just gonna start working together? You said no. That's fine. Raylan: [ Chuckles ] Okay. I'm sure we'll be running into each other again real soon. Raylan: Mm-hmm. I know where you live now. ♪ on this lonely road ♪ ♪ trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪ ♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I'm fighting for my soul ♪ ♪ God get at your boy ♪ ♪ you try to bogard ♪ ♪ fall back, I go hard ♪ ♪ on this lonely road ♪ ♪ trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪ ♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I see them long, hard times to come ♪ Hey. Tim: Hey. Raylan: I need a favor. Tim: I live and breathe to do your bidding. Raylan: I want to talk to your friend over at the FBI. Tim: You know, maybe you should think about making some friends of your own. Raylan: What, and miss out on conversations like these? Tim: What do you need? Raylan: I leaned on this Detroit thug. And now he's all up in my sh1t, so... Tim: So you have no jurisdiction to go after him. Raylan: Oh, no, no, no. I don't want to go after him. I want to bury the big-toothed, albino-looking son of a bitch. Tim: Why don't you just shoot him in the face? Raylan: Does it look like I'm being funny? Tim: A little bit. Raylan: You having fun? Tim: It's a slow morning. Raylan: Good. Then you won't mind making the call. Art: Good morning, gentlemen. I need someone to follow up with the girlfriend in the Hopkins case. Don't everybody jump at once. Raylan: I'll do it. Art: Thank you. Raylan: As soon as I'm done looking into this asshole over near Beaumont, okay? Art: All right. Asshole first, girlfriend second. Tim: You are totally not gonna follow up on that girlfriend. Raylan: I was hoping you'd do it, right after you made the call. Wynn: Givens turned you down. Yes, he did. Wynn: So, at least we get to keep the money, which is a bit of a silver lining, considering how low we're getting. We're not keeping the money. I'm going down to Harlan and I'm going to offer it to someone who won't turn us down. Wynn: Boss' son is coming. "The boss' son." Wynn: [ Sniffs ] You know, my father died when I was a teenager, and Theo Tonin took me in. Wynn: I'd heard that. I think he hoped that I would be a brother to that little waste of sperm, but it didn't pan out. You know those little burr-headed monkeys at the zoo who sit on a stump all day, jerking off? Sammy Tonin. Weak, stupid, scared of his own shadow. I was the son he always wanted. He groomed me to take over someday, but now Sammy's got the houses, the cars, the money, the juice. And me? I'm down here. Wynn: What happened? Oh. Don't worry. I'll be back for the crown prince's arrival. And I will get us more money. I'm just gonna put a smile on my face and eat a nice plate of steaming sh1t... unsalted. [ Door opens ] [ Door slams ] Well, if it ain't Raylan givens. You finally show up here to check on your daddy? Raylan: Why would I be up here for him? Boyd: Well, he took a pretty good crack upside the head last night up in Nobles holler, calling after your mama. Raylan: How's he holding up? Boyd: He's recuperating. I got Ava tending to him back up at the house. Well, I'll make sure to pass along your concern. Raylan: Sure. Do that. Boyd: Well, doesn't that give you pause, him up there running around after all these years? Raylan: Just sounds like he's off his meds. And I wish you luck with that, but that's not why I'm here. Boyd: Well, what are you here for? [ Groans, gasps ] Raylan: Oh, my lord. Think he swallowed a peanut the wrong way. Help you with that. Come on. Boyd: [ Groaning ] Johnny: Raylan. Raylan: Johnny. [ Groans ] God, Raylan. Boyd: Damn, Raylan. Raylan: Figured I owed you that one for taking a poke at me at the marshal's office. Boyd: Well, if I try to take this conversation vertical, can I expect more of the same? Raylan: You can expect worse, unless you start talking about Robert Quarles. Boyd: And if I say that you'll need to refresh my memory? Raylan: What do you think? Boyd: [ Groans ] Think I'm gonna need some ice. Raylan: Ice can wait. Boyd: Well, what did Quarles do to piss you off so bad you felt the need to take it out on me? Raylan: He made assumptions. Boyd: Such as? Raylan: I'm working for you... taking orders, doing your bidding. On the cheap, no less. Boyd: [ Breathing heavily ] Well, I can see where that might be very upsetting. Raylan: Last we spoke, I believe I made myself clear what would happen to you, you start dragging me into your bullshit. Boyd: Yes, you did. And I'll even allow that I... I do have some familiarity with Robert Quarles. Raylan: Good. Now we're getting somewhere. Boyd: But you're carrying an ill-informed notion of my relationship with the man. You think that idea came from me? Raylan: Am I? Boyd: Look, what did folks used to say after the war? Carpetbaggers pouring into Appalachia like they were some old testament scourge, looking to take what little bit we had left? They said that "hell is empty," and all the devils are here." Raylan: Your point being? Boyd: This is our home, Raylan. Now, I start to turn on my own people... however contentious at times our relationship might be... well, that's a world that becomes so muddy even I can't fathom it. Well, if he wasn't such a drunken loser like his old man, we wouldn't be having this little chitchat, would we? [ Chuckles ] Well, maybe next time, I'll let your son rot in the cell. How's that sound? Yeah, well, screw you, too. [ Receiver slams ] What can I do for you? Well... You can start by taking a donation for your re-election campaign. Not much of a campaign, really. Running unopposed. Well...Invest it in your next campaign, then. Or make some band-aid repairs on a few of those level mountaintops that everyone's bitching about... courtesy of the sheriff's office. That way you're just not a job creator, but an all-star to a pile of future voters. Or, hell, just do what I would do. Buy yourself a nice, new vacation home. Who are you, son? Robert Quarles. Real pleasure. And just what are you looking for in return, Mr. Quarles? Sheriff. I want you to significantly reduce the appalling oxy violence in Harlan. [ Laughs ] Is that all? You're not from around here, are you? That obvious? I'm a quick study. I can see. Reducing the violence around oxy's maybe not as simple as you're putting it. Actually, it is. Simple economics. If someone were to lower the price of oxy, that would take money from the dealers, give it back to the people. Then, that would force crime to go north where the prices are still high, and you would earn city taxes from the operation. That's a win-win...Win. And how do you plan on lowering the prices? Details you don't need to worry about. Suffice it to say, it will be legal... or appear so. I don't do business with people I don't know. You are a smart man... very smart man. So, allow this... To be an introduction. Howdy. What's the stick? The stick? This here's the carrot. What's the stick? Oh. Trust me... you don't want to know the stick. Big-picture details? We'll get to those after the re-election. In the meantime, there is one little man that you need to crack down on right now... Boyd Crowder. I ain't accepted your deal, son. Very true. But you also ain't slid that briefcase back across the table, now, have you? Tim: Tonin crime family tree. Names and records of anyone with the slightest link to Quarles. Raylan: Who's Sammy Tonin? Tim: Boss' son. Raylan: He's in Lexington? Tim: Touched down about an hour ago. Heard he likes horses. I was a betting man, which I am, I'd bet that if Quarles and the boss's kid are in town at the same time, probably not much to do with horses. Raylan: Know where he's staying? Tim: Last I checked, you were a marshal, too. I got to do everything? Raylan: Point taken. [ Sighs ] So, tell me, how were the horses? Beautiful. I found a gelding. Had to be black... my daughter's on this whole "black beauty" kick. Great job, guys. Thank you. So, this is the place. Home, sweet home. Is that an MRI? Yeah. We're not messing around here, Sam. What's in here? Storage. Hey, good news is we got the sheriff on board. As soon as he's re-elected, we get started. Well, what happens when he starts turning a blind eye towards your pill mills? We're not gonna have some kind of shitkicker rebellion on our hands? What, are you sh1tting me? Less crime, more tax revenue... What's to bitch about? They get a little testy, it'll take them at least a year to have him recalled. So, you're telling me we're on track? Yeah, other than a couple hiccups. I think we got our legs under us. Thanks, Mike. That's good, 'cause you need to know, Bobby, that you're... Y-you're risking life and limb on a bunch of hillbilly doper sh1t bags. Couple thousand addicts paying a few hundred a visit, knocking out the competition. Conservative estimate... $1 million a month. A month, Sammy. Yeah? What's that estimate gonna be if this fed k-keeps looking into you? You mean the m-m-m-m-m-m-marshal? I believe that he is a man who can be reasoned with. So, how much you need, Bob? [SCENE_BREAK] 50? Jesus, man! What? You got to pay off the sheriff, ginning up medical histories, procuring 1,500 MRIs. It adds up quick. Another 50 in your account. We can swing that. What you got to remember is dad ain't big on second chances, and you only got one because of what he invested in you in the first place. Tell the old man that I do not need a second chance. That's good. Because you remember what happened last time there were hiccups? You went a little crazy... You remember that? Have you told Mr. Duffy here about your... your rent boy? About all it took to squash that? I don't think Mr. Duffy is interested in the story. Anything else, Sam? No? Good. Then we got a lot of work to do. Sure. Sure. Mr. Duffy. Bobby, keep in touch. [ Thud ] [SCENE_BREAK] Raylan: [ Sighs ] [ Tapping on glass] [ Sighs ] I can't find him. Called every hotel in the area, he's not in any of them. Tim: Well, are you sure you're pronouncing his name right? Raylan: Tonin. Sammy Tonin. Samuel. Sam. He's probably checked in under an alias. Tim: That's a possibility. Raylan: Well, do you know what it is? Tim: What did I tell you? Raylan: Why are you giving me a hard time on this? You've already told me his name. You told me he's here. Tim: 'Cause he's under FBI surveillance, that's why. Raylan: Yeah, so what? Tim: So sh1t blows up, that's my friend's ass. Raylan: sh1t's not gonna blow up. Tim: And according to my friend, the surveillance team knows you're looking for him, so I tell you where Sammy is, and then you go all Raylan on him and drag him out of some restaurant by his nut sac. Raylan: Okay, I don't even know what that means. I'm not gonna grab his nut sac or any other part of him. I just want a word... a quiet word to suggest that his affiliation with Robert Quarles is ill-advised. I'll make sure I do it somewhere no one's around. I got mad ninja skills, buddy. Tim: Yeah. You know karate? Raylan: And two other Japanese words. Tim: [ Breathes deeply ] Give me five minutes. Working with an eighth grader. Boyd: Those demons let you alone last night? Arlo: I feel fine. I told you that. The whole thing was blown way out of proportion. Ava: What is that? Arlo: Oh, come on, Ava. What the hell, woman? Ava: You want something to chase 'em with? I'll get you a water back. Arlo: You see this sh1t? Boyd: Believe I'm gonna sit this one out. Ava: You're not supposed to drink on your meds. I think we can both agree after last night... you need your meds. Arlo: Come on, Boyd. Boyd: Can't argue with her logic. Arlo: A few drinks ain't gonna hurt. Boyd: Well, I didn't know we'd be entertaining a detachment of Harlan county's finest. Boyd Crowder. I-is this your establishment? Boyd: Well, actually, sheriff Napier, it belongs to my cousin Johnny, but you and your deputies are more than welcome nonetheless. Mooney. Got a tip on some illegal slot machines, Boyd. Just came by to ensure that you're in compliance with the local ordinance. Boyd: Well, a task so fraught with danger, you think you boys brought enough firepower? Let's take a look, fellas. Come on. Boyd: Well, Nick, I thought you were in line to be the chief of police in Bennett. What happened to derail that occupational train? Look, Napier's the man, and I do as he says. I need this job, Boyd. Besides, I don't see anybody else paying any better. Fire door out the back is locked, Boyd. That's a serious violation. Boyd: Well, I suppose I know better than to ask if you are sh1tting me. Well, what if there's a fire in here? How are people supposed to get out? Boyd: Uh, through the front door. Well, between that and the video-poker machines, it looks like we got a real problem here. All right, folks. Gonna have to ask you to leave. This place is officially closed. Let's move. Boyd: What's going on here, Nick? I know you got a son with special needs. You need any help... I ain't fishing for a bribe. It's just business, is all. Boyd: Well, if business gets slow, you know where to find me. Oh, we know where to find you, Boyd. [ Clears throat ] You'd do well to remember that. Raylan: [ Sighs ] Coffee? Scratch that. Raylan Givens? Raylan: Yeah? Need you to come with us. Raylan: What for? Let's go, marshal. Raylan: [ Sighs ] Deputy marshal Gutterson, did deputy Givens tell you why he was looking into Robert Quarles and Sammy Tonin? Tim: I imagine it's 'cause he's working a case. You "imagine?" Well, that'll be cold comfort for your friend in the bureau if she's suspended as a result. Tim: You gotta be kidding me. Do I look like I'm kidding? Raylan: The information provided was in pursuit of a federal fugitive. This fugitive have a name? Raylan: Anthony Turner. Anthony Turner? Raylan: Anthony Turner. [ Sighs ] Anthony Turner. Oh, of course. Anthony Turner. Uh, Mr. Turner stole some checks with an associate of Sammy's cousin. That was back in '97? Raylan: Is there not a warrant out for him? Seriously, chief, do I look like I just got out of the academy? You know, the "six degree of" "connection" crap doesn't fly with me, deputy. Raylan: Well, sometimes that's the way we have to do things around here, agent Barkley. We leave no stone left unturned. Now, if your agents are following Sammy Tonin on his travels here, then you're either building a case against him or you're trying to protect him. Art: If you got a case, agent, why don't you let us help with it? Might be fun to be on the same side for a change. You know, all I need from you you, chief, and your deputy here is to back off. Okay? Raylan: Okay. Why? You afraid I'm gonna tip him off? Or is it because you got a leaky ship, agent Barkley? I've made myself clear. Art: Must be some sort of a dick test that all the FBI agents have to pass. Raylan: You know this is the case I was telling you about earlier, right? Art: Yeah. But I didn't think it was gonna result in a visit from the feebs. Raylan: You want me to back off, I'll back off. Art: [ Sighs ] Just make sure that whatever you're doing is actually marshal business. Go. Raylan: I'm here for you, Art. Tim: [ Sighs ] Raylan: I believe I just got the green light. Tim: Is Anthony Turner even in the state? Raylan: Believed to be in Peru. Tim: Well, next time you need a favor, the answer is no. [SCENE_BREAK] Boyd. [ Laughs ] How's Arlo doing? Errol here popped him pretty good. Boyd: Well, he's up and around, but I didn't come here to discuss Arlo. Well, what can I do for you? We do pay interest on all deposits. Albeit low, of course, things being as they are. Not much we can do about that. Boyd: Only thing I'm interested in is a particular lawman. I think you're gonna need to be a little more specific. Boyd: Don't do that. Excuse me? Boyd: You heard me. Now, you know the tin star I came here to discuss is sheriff Napier. Okay. Boyd: Now, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and presume that there's someone behind the man with the badge. And I'm guessing that man is named Robert Quarles. Sound like you didn't even need to come to me. Boyd: [ Sighs ] How long have you known about this? Not very long. But you didn't ask me about it till just now. Boyd: Well, what else do you know? Just that you ain't got the means or the muscle to beat Quarles' newfound alliance. Boyd: I-I'm not gonna waste any more gas coming up here for parceled-out information, so, from now on, when you know something, I know something. Or else I'm gonna close my account, and you're gonna have to deal with a very, very disgruntled customer. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Horse whinnies ] Well, what do you think? Should I get two of them? That's twice the horseshit you gotta shovel. It's your call, chief. I don't know much about horses. [ Tap on car window ] [ Sighs ] Agent Heller? Sir. Seen Givens? Didn't you warn him off? If you see him, call. If he gets within 100 feet, stop him. I'll be at the north gate. Yes, sir. Why don't you go make yourself useful or something? Find a carrot. Where? I don't know. Go ask around. Raylan: Sure. Yeah, I know, he's a rag to win, but he showed in the fourth a quarter of the runs. That's right. Hey, green boots. Yeah? Raylan: Wanna make a few extra bucks? For what? Raylan: Just deliver a message. What do you mean there's a problem? What kind of problem? It has something to do with the horse you bought. You should go see the manager over in the round barn. Yeah, just straight ahead. [ Sighs ] [ Door closes ] Raylan: What is that? Is that gabardine? This is sharkskin... $3,000. Dearborn, Michigan Avenue... Gallo's. You want their number? I'll give it to you. Raylan: They get blood out? You know who my father is? Raylan: Theodore Tonin, Detroit badman. Then you know what he'll do to you if you do anything to me. Aah! Raylan: Sammy. It's "dress the part, be the" part." It ain't "dress the part, hide" behind your daddy." If you're gonna kill me, just... just get it over with now. Raylan: Are you serious? I ain't gonna beg, all right? Tell Quarles I didn't beg. Raylan: Ooh. You think Quarles sent me? Who else? Raylan: You know, you're the second asshole who's accused me of being dirty. Wait a second. Raylan: No, you wait a second. Now, I was under the impression you were bankrolling him. Why would you bankroll someone if you think they wanted you dead? Wait a minute. Wait. Who are you? Raylan: I'm a deputy... United States marshal. [ Sighs ] What do you want? Raylan: It's funny. I was under the impression I might have to put a horse's head in your bed. Now I'm starting to think you and I want the same thing. So, you ain't gonna kill me, then. Raylan: Sammy, if I was gonna kill you, you never would've turned around. Deputy. Does this mean you've reconsidered my offer? Raylan: Did you know there's a piano teacher renting the top floor of the two-family up the block? Huh. Wouldn't a banjo teacher be a little more appropriate? To answer your question, no, I have not gotten to know my neighbors as of yet. Raylan: You'll just have to take my word for it, then. There are piano lessons going on about 178 feet from where we are standing... give or take. I didn't know that. Nor do I give a sh1t. Raylan: More of a wind-instrument man, I reckon. Anyway, federal government isn't too crazy about the idea of distribution of drugs near a schoolhouse. Gives us the power to seize property even suspected of such use. With your history of drug arrests, the judge wasn't too hard to convince. Tell me that's an eviction notice. Raylan: For simplicity's sake, sure. Let's call it that. 24 hours from now, anything left in that building belongs to the marshals service. So, uh... This is how you're gonna do it? Raylan: For now. [ Engine turns over ] [ Birds squawking ] Wynn. Wynn. Sh... shut up. Just shut up. I want you to clear everything out of here and find a new place for us to set up shop. What? That son of a bitch! [ Grunts ] Wynn: They canceled the wire transfer. The money was there and then it wasn't. I'm the messenger. Givens got to him. I'll talk to Sammy. Just make sure our friend is still in Tulsa. Can you do that? Wynn: Yep. Paint the room. Wynn: You can't paint over bloodstains. I'll take care of it. [ Door slams ] [ Breathing heavily ] A few hours ago, you promised me another 50. Now I hear I've been cut off. Why the change? I imagine you already know that. Well, I'm sure Raylan Givens paid you a visit, and you just pussed out. Nothing to do with the fact that you've spent the last 20 years looking for a way to hang me out to dry. I asked you to deal with the marshal, and you didn't deal with him. Now I will. What, you gonna pop a U.S. marshal? You're crazier than I thought you were. There are other ways to handle him. I'm listening. As well you should, sh1t bag, 'cause right now I'm heading down to Tulsa to see a pal of his, and you, next time you're someplace where our federal friends are listening, mention that Givens came to see you and that and you believe he's in bed with a guy from in Harlan... a guy named Boyd Crowder. Say it! Boyd Crowder. Good boy. Boyd: Well, Shelby, how are you, my friend? Well, how do I look? Boyd: Like a man who has seen better days. Uh, to better days. Mmm. So, what's this about, Boyd? Boyd: Well, I wanted to thank you, Shelby, for backing my story after the explosion at the mine. I'd have been a dead man if it wasn't for you. Didn't seem like all that much to ask. Boyd: Well, I heard they let you go not long thereafter. I'm a greeter now. Boyd: I don't think I could say "hello" to that many people. [ Scoffs ] Boyd: Are you enjoying the work? Way I understand it, they're paying me to do it, not to like it. Boyd: [ Sighs ] Well, how would you like a change in occupation? What do you got in mind? Boyd: Well, what do all men want, Shelby? Money and power. Now, I'm a little light on money right now, but... but I believe I might be able to get you access to power. [ Taps table ] Go on. Boyd: There's an election coming soon... office of county sheriff. Tillman Napier's job? Boyd: He wasn't elected for life. Now, he serves at the pleasure of the good people of Harlan county. And I think you might be just the man for the job. Gary: You know, people will tell you only what they hear... You know, what somebody else has been telling them. The market out there is bad. "Oh, it's terrible. It's atrocious." Now, you know what I call these people? And this may sound harsh, but I don't mean it to... I really don't. But you know what I call them? Losers. Okay? Now, just... j-just a quick show of hands here... now, how many people want to be in business with someone whose personality says, "hey,, work with me." I'm a loser"? There is a treasure trove to be had in buying and selling foreclosed properties. But you have to know the secrets. And for only $29.95, tax included, I will give you a step-by-step guide detailing those very secrets. So, we have to buy the manual? Gary: Well, yes, to get my secrets, yes, you do. Is this a pyramid scheme? Gary: Hey, hey. Now, the only pyramid I am talking about is one that is built with stacks of money. Well, how come you're not out there making millions? Gary: Well, because I like to give back. Yeah, yeah. It keeps me positive, making more personal connections. I had a friend who made a bundle of cash that way. Gary: O-okay, did you folks hear that, now? Sir, would you stand up and... Oh, uh, I don't think they want to hear from me. But if you could, maybe you could share one of your secrets with us? Yeah. Yeah. Gary: Yeah? Okay. Okay. I guess one won't hurt. Thank you, sir. Now, most people think that you have to work with an agent. How many of you have heard that? [ Both laugh ] So, you have a family? Uh, yeah. Yeah. A wife and two kids. Gary: Oh, that's great. Yeah, it's awesome. How about yourself? Gary: Yeah, I mean... well, I-I did... a wife. Divorced? Gary: Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. Gary: I think that's why I'm so focused on this personal-connection stuff now. Mm. Gary: I just... I had the greatest woman. I mean, the smartest, sexiest... I blew it. Oh, sh1t. Gary: Oh, I guess I think if I could just go back, you know, and... and... and strengthen that... that personal connection, I mean, right from the beginning, I don't know. Now, wait a min me. Just, you know, maybe it'll happen. Maybe you guys will work it out, right? Gary: Mm. Yeah. Yeah. Gary: [ Laughs ] Cheers to that. Cheers to that. Gary: All right. So, how did you do it? Mm. I just got lucky. Amazing wife. Great kids. No, my problem all stems from my work. Gary: Ohh, yeah. I swear, I'd be running the whole organization if it wasn't for my boss's idiot son. Gary: [ Laughs ] Is that right? [ Laughing ] No, I'm serious. We're ready. Great. Gary: Oh, hey. I didn't know you had a pal here. Gary, this is my business associate, Mike. Gary: Hey, m... Now, wait a minute. Do I know you? Wynn: Yes, Gary. You do.

Plan: A: A wounded Tanner; Q: Who shows up at Limehouse's Holler begging for forgiveness for letting Raylan get involved? A: Raylan; Q: Who uses a judge to shut down Quarles' underground clinic? A: his wounds; Q: What does Tanner lick after Limehouse forgives him? A: Quarles' movements; Q: What information does Tanner have to provide to Limehouse? A: a disoriented Arlo; Q: Who interrupts the meeting between Tanner and Limehouse? A: his medication; Q: What is Arlo off of? A: his late wife; Q: What is Arlo thinking is hiding with Limehouse? A: Raylan's mother; Q: Who is Arlo's late wife? A: An annoyed Limehouse; Q: Who knocks Arlo out? A: the old man; Q: What does Limehouse deliver to Boyd Crowder? A: life; Q: What does Raylan have to adjust to without Winona? A: his bad side; Q: What does Quarles get on Raylan's side? A: Boyd Crowder's payroll; Q: What does Quarles think Raylan is on? A: Harlan; Q: Where is Sheriff Napier from? A: Johnny's bar; Q: What does Sheriff Napier disrupt? A: the past; Q: Boyd Crowder reaches out to someone he's helped in what time period? A: an exasperated Tim; Q: Who tells Raylan that Quarles is meeting with the son of Detroit's biggest racketeer? A: the horse stables; Q: Where does Raylan interrogate Quarles? A: the Detroit mob; Q: Who wants Quarles gone? A: problems; Q: What does the Detroit mob have with Quarles? A: Quarles' developing underground clinic; Q: What does Raylan shut down? A: Winona's ex-husband Gary; Q: Who does Quarles and Duffy smoke out? A: William Ragsdale; Q: Who played Gary? Summary: A wounded Tanner shows up at Limehouse's Holler, begging for forgiveness for letting Raylan get involved. Limehouse forgives him and lets Tanner lick his wounds, only if he agrees to provide information on Quarles' movements. They are interrupted by a disoriented Arlo, who is off his medication and thinks his late wife (Raylan's mother) is hiding with Limehouse again. An annoyed Limehouse knocks Arlo out and delivers the old man to Boyd. As Raylan tries to adjust to life without Winona, Quarles gets on his bad side when he approaches Raylan assuming he's on Boyd Crowder's payroll. Quarles also enlists Sheriff Napier of Harlan to disrupt Johnny's bar, which causes Boyd to reach out to someone he's helped in the past. Raylan finds out from an exasperated Tim that Quarles is meeting with the son of Detroit's biggest racketeer, and interrogates him at the horse stables, where he finds out that the Detroit mob has been experiencing problems with Quarles as well, and want him gone. With this blessing, Raylan uses a judge to shut down Quarles' developing underground clinic, which causes Quarles and Duffy to smoke out Winona's ex-husband Gary ( William Ragsdale ).

Act One. Scene One - Radio Station. Frasier is just finishing off his show at KACL. Frasier: Well, that's it for today, Seattle. This is Dr. Frasier Crane wishing you good day and good mental health. [presses button] Bulldog and Gil enter with a trolley. Bulldog: All right, move it. We're stood waiting for the booth here. [honks horn] Frasier: That is not amusing when you do it in the men's room, it's not amusing now! Gil: All ready then, Bulldog? Roz: What are you two doing? Bulldog: We're recording an ad for a new sponsor. We've only got a minute here so scram both of ya! [they begin to leave] Oh, by the way, Roz, baby or no baby, your ass has never looked better. Roz: Shut up! Roz and Frasier enter the producer's booth. Roz: How sick is that?! Frasier: Oh, he's just being Bulldog. Roz: Not that I didn't like hearing it. Meanwhile, Gil and Bulldog are recording. Bulldog: Hi, I'm Bulldog Briscoe. Gil: And I'm Gil Chesterton. When Bulldog and I are out on the town together... Bulldog: Whether it's opening night at the opera... Gil: Or rooting our Mariners to victory... Bulldog: We always round of the evening in the same way: With a nice relaxing cup of "Happy Dreams" tea. Gil: Mmmm. Bulldog: We're making some right now. How many lumps do you like, Gil? Gil: One, please. Bulldog uses two wooden blocks to make the sound of a sugar cube hitting tea. Gil: Ouch! Gets me every time. Bulldog: "Happy Dreams" tea, one cup, you'll have happy dreams the whole night through. [presses button] Yes, perfect! One thing? Gil: Well, my ouch could be a bit more convincing. Bulldog presses a button and then quickly hits Gil around the head giving a convincing ouch. Bulldog: [presses button:] We'll splice that in later. Meanwhile, Roz and Frasier are watching the double act from the producer's booth. Frasier: What the hell was that? Roz: The new station manager's idea. They're getting some of the on-air talent to record commercials for the new sponsors. You're not disappointed he didn't ask you to do it, are you? Frasier: [sarcastic:] Oh yes Roz, about as disappointed as I was when that hypnotist at the Christmas party picked them to come up on stage and groom each other like monkeys. Roz: [sarcastic:] Oh yeah, you were really left out at that party! He didn't make you do anything silly. No, sir! [laughs] Frasier: Roz! Daphne at this moment enters the booth. Roz: Oh Daphne, what are you doing here? Frasier: Hi, Daph. Daphne: Dr. Crane's car's in the shop so I'm the chauffeur for the day. It may take a while to get home, there's a rally on Pike Street holding up the traffic. Frasier: Oh, what sort of rally? Daphne: Apparently they're trying to save some old bookstore from being torn down. Frasier: Not "Hirsh & Sons"? Daphne: Yes, that's the one. Some developer wants to build a strip mall there. Frasier: They can't do that! That's a Seattle landmark. My God, Mark Twain gave a reading there. Roz: Oh yeah, I know that place. I used to have a boyfriend who liked to make out in the occult section. Frasier: Frankly, I'm terribly upset about this. You know, I think we'll go down there and join that rally. Roz: Good for you, Frasier. Fraiser: I refuse to stand idly by whilst some fat cat bully rides roughshod over the little people. Daphne: I don't want to go to a rally. Frasier: Tough luck! You're the chauffeur! Frasier pushes Daphne out of the booth whilst Roz resumes her work. [SCENE_BREAK] WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH THE TOUGH GETS GOING Scene Two - Outside Hirsch & Sons. The rally is on and lots of protesters are marching and sitting holding banners speaking out against the strip mall. Daphne: This is actually rather exciting. I must say, I never thought you to be the protest type. Frasier: Oh, on the contrary, Daphne. I was quite the activist in my college days. There's nothing like throwing your feel as bad to scruffy young rebels thumbing their noses at convention. Daphne: So, did you go into the whole package then? Long hair, bell bottom jeans? Frasier: Oh heavens no, though I did have a pair of psychedelic suspenders that raised an eyebrow or two. This seat looks good, don't you think? Daphne: Yeah. They sit on the ground as the leader notices them. Leader: Hey this is great, look everybody, it's Dr. Frasier Crane from the radio. [they cheer him] Dr. Crane, would you like to say a few words? Frasier: [stands] Well, all right. Well, I'll keep it simple. Be strong, people. Our cause is just. To the barricades! [they cheer him and he sits] This is sort of fun, isn't it? Daphne: Yes. Cop: People, this is your final warning. Frasier: Who do you suppose that is? Daphne: The police, I think. Cop: Disperse now or we will take action. Frasier: What do you suppose they mean by that? Leader: We're not going anywhere, are we? [all except Frasier shout no] Frasier: You don't think they're talking about a jail sort of thing here, do you? Daphne: Who knows? Exciting, isn't it? Leader: They're going to have to drag us out of here, aren't they? [all bar Frasier shout "Yeah"] Frasier: They don't actually drag people away anymore, do they? Leader: They're too afraid to arrest us, aren't they? [all bar Frasier shout "Yeah"] Frasier: Well, now you're just provoking them. Cop: Alright people, you had your warning. [some are arrested] Frasier: They weren't kidding. Well, there goes the first lucky martyrs to our cause. Well, as they are dragging people away there'll be none left to protest, you know I better go get some reinforcement. Daphne: Dr. Crane, Dr. Crane! Where are you going? Frasier: Solidarity, my brothers! [runs off to Daphne's shouts as she is arrested too] [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Three - Frasier's Apartment. Frasier is rather disturbed when Niles rings the doorbell. He answers it. Frasier: Hello, Niles. Niles: Frasier, I hope you're free tonight. I just secured a table at the most exclusive new restaurant in Seattle. Frasier: I'm sorry - just not in the mood. Niles: At least hear me out - this place is the hottest new thing in fusion cuisine. Frasier: What cuisines are being fused? Niles: Polynesian and Scandanavian. It's called "Mahole-Valhalla." Frasier: Well, perhaps there's a reason why God put those two countries so far apart. Niles: I had my doubts too. But my gourmet newsletter gave three- and-a-half whisks to their coconut herring. Frasier: I'm sorry, Niles. It's just a bad night. See, Daphne's been hauled down to jail. Dad's down there trying to bail her out. Niles: [shocked:] What?! Frasier: Don't worry, they should be home any minute, it's just that she was down at that rally for "Hirsh & Sons" book store. The worst part of it is that I convinced her to go and when they started hauling people away I chickened out and ran. Niles: You left her there? Frasier: It was a thoroughly shameful performance. Though I did clear that private hedge in front of Emerson's funeral home like a Kentucky show horse. What has happened to me, Niles? I used to be so courageous. To fight for things. When did I become so middle-aged? So timid? Niles: Don't be so hard on yourself, it's part of life. We all get a bit more cautious as we get older. Frasier: Not me! God, it was only five years ago I packed up my whole life in Boston, moved across the country to start over. That took real courage. Now, ha-ha, the biggest risk I take is saying to Dad, "Hey, let's go out to dinner, you pick the restaurant". Martin and Daphne enter the front door. She looks very angry as she hangs up her coat. Frasier: Daphne! Daphne, it's so good to have you home safe and sound. Daphne: Sod off! Martin: She's a little mad at you. Frasier: Yes, thank you Dad. Daphne, I am so sorry, I feel just terrible. Daphne: As you should! You left me handcuffed and helpless. Niles: If you ever find yourself in that position again, be sure to call on me. [Frasier gives him a look, so he exclaims:] For help! Daphne: Thank you, Dr. Crane. Shame on you, Dr. Crane, why can't you be more like Dr. Crane? [exits to her room] Martin: I can't believe it took me six hours to get her out. In my day cops could count on a few perks. No speeding tickets, get your friends out of jail fast... It's all gone to hell! Frasier: Yes well, let's hope they never do away with that old "All jewelry up for grabs at the morgue" policy. Niles: Well, there's no way I'm letting this dinner reservation go to waste. Frasier, last chance? Frasier: Thanks anyway, Niles. Niles: Very well. Hey Dad, what about you? Martin: Yeah, you know Niles, maybe I will come get a bite with you. Sitting around six hours in that station house, I could eat anything. Niles: Let's go, then. Martin: Oh good, I can't wait. Where are we going anyway? [opens front door] Niles: Oh, well... Niles begins as he closes the door behind him and his father. Frasier meanwhile is on the phone. Frasier: Hello, yes, I'd like to order a large pizza. What toppings? Er, just a second. Dad, what do you want on your pizza? Martin: [enters, leaving Niles alone] Pepperoni. Frasier: Pepperoni, please. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Four - Radio Station. Frasier is in mid-show as he deals with another caller. Patrick: [v.o:] Anyway, we've been fighting a lot and she's never in the mood for s*x anymore. I think she must be having an affair. Frasier: Now, now, Patrick, let's not give in to paranoia. Just because your wife is avoiding s*x lately it doesn't mean she's being unfaithful. You said yourself she hasn't been talking lately. Why don't you try reopening the lines of communication tonight by surprising her with a nice romantic dinner? Patrick: Tonight's no good, she's working late on her boss's boat again. But tomorrow's okay, thanks, Dr. Crane. [hangs up] Frasier: You know, Roz, what do you say we turn things over to our Eye in the Sky, Chopper Dave, with the traffic report? [presses button] Roz enters the booth with a large overweight man with a friendly smile. Roz: Frasier, I want to introduce you to someone. [points to man] This is our new station manager, Kenny Daly. Frasier: It's a pleasure. Kenny: Oh, no, no, it's my pleasure. I'm just a - whoa! - huge fan. I only had this reaction once before. Did you ever hear of Norman Mailer? Frasier: Of course, the author. Kenny: Oh, no, no, I'm talking about the drive-time guy, worked out of Tampa. "Norman In The Mornin.'" So funny you pray for traffic. Frasier: Well, I'll try to catch him next time I'm in Tampa. [adds:] In the mornin'. Kenny: Oh well, I gotta run. It's been great meeting you. Frasier: You, too. Kenny: Oh, I almost forgot. I got a call from the "Happy Dreams" tea people. They had a bunch of spots scheduled for the first hour and you forgot to read them. Frasier: Actually, I didn't forget. I had a look at the copy, and, well, I couldn't read it. Kenny: Oh, why not? Frasier: Well, just listen to this here. [reads] One cup of "Happy Dreams" tea and you'll have happy dreams all night long. [then:] The fact is that dreams are a bi-product of unresolved emotion. No tea can promise happy dreams. Kenny: Oh yeah, I totally get it. Here's my problem - our ad revenues are down and they're a major new sponsor. I just promised them that you'd read the ads this hour. Frasier: Yes, but as a psychiatrist I can't. They're promising something that's impossible. Kenny: Okay, okay, now I understand. What if we just think of it more as a slogan? Frasier: You see, but it's not a slogan. If I as a doctor read it, it sounds like medical advice. Kenny: Okay, now - totally get you. So, instead of saying "This is Dr. Frasier Crane," just don't say doctor. Frasier: Kenny, maybe I'm not making myself clear here. Let's try this - I will never read this copy. Kenny: Oh, this is the part of my job I really hate. If you take a stand like that - and I totally respect it, by the way - you force my hand. That's our biggest sponsor. So unless you're willing to go on the air right now and read that ad, I have to fire you. Roz: [worried:] Ten seconds, Frasier. [runs into her booth] Frasier: Well, I didn't realize you felt so strongly about it. I guess I have no choice. Kenny: Oh, thanks, Dr. Crane. Oh, what a relief! [exits into Roz;s booth] Frasier: [presses button] Hello Seattle, the people who know me best will not be surprised by what I'm about to tell you: I am not a man who betrays his principles. I am not a man who misleads his listeners and I am not a man who will shrink from a fight. Today I find myself in a fight over the content of my show. But rather than truffle to the forces of commercialism, I've decided to take a stand on principal, even if it means... [Roz enters his booth] I'm not on the air, am I? Roz: No. He put on "The Best of Crane." Frasier: How much did I get out? Roz: Well, let's see. [presses button:] Frasier: [v.o:] People who know me best will not be surprised by what I'm about to tell you: I am not a man. [stops] Frasier: Perfect. End Of Act One. (Time: 11:35) Act Two. Scene One - Frasier's Apartment. That afternoon Frasier and Niles are talking. Frasier is on a high after standing up for his principles. Niles: So they actually fired you? Frasier: [thrilled:] Yes. I must say it feels good to take a stand like this. I feel like my old self again. I tell ya' one thing - I don't envy Kenny. [laughs] Feeling the cold stares of the other employees because he's fired the station's most popular personality. Niles: He fired Tooty, the story lady, too? Frasier: Very funny, Niles. [laughs] God, who'd have thought that getting fired can make one feel so alive? He is thrilled as Eddie jumps up and stares at him. Frasier: What do you want? Another staring contest, I suppose. Well, you picked the wrong day for that, boyo. Frasier gives him a long stare which forces Eddie to run off with fear. Frasier gives a shrill of excitement. Frasier: Take that! Martin: [enters] Frasier, what are you doing home? Frasier: Well, Dad, brace yourself. The station fired me, so you'll be seeing me this time everyday. Martin: Oh no, that's terrible. Frasier: I assume you mean the firing part. Martin: [covering up:] Well, yeah... What happened? Frasier: Well, they simply asked me to violate a principal I believe in, and I refused. Martin: Well, then I'm proud of you. What did they want you to do? Frasier: Well, there's this product called "Happy Dreams" tea. They wanted me to say that it gives people happy dreams. Martin: And? Frasier: Well, that's it. I couldn't make a claim like that. Martin: Well, every commercial makes promises they can't deliver. That's what makes it a commercial. Frasier: Yes, Dad, that may be... Martin: It's like that cologne that's supposed to drive women wild. I've used it all my life and I've never had a single strange woman come on to me. Except for that year I worked in Vice. Frasier: Yes, I understand. Martin: But that wasn't about cologne, let me tell ya. Frasier: Yes, I understand. Martin: They were hookers. Frasier: I realize that! Niles: Frasier, don't be angry with me but I do have one theory. Frasier: Yes, Niles, I was wondering when you'd get around to that. So, just allow me. I was so ashamed of my chickening out at the rally that I grabbed at the first fight that came my way. Of course it turned out to be the wrong fight and I needlessly lost my job. So, if you follow that theory through to this end - this petty feeling of euphoria I'm experiencing right now is frankly nothing more than a deep- seated denial. Niles: So, have you considered it? Frasier: [loud:] Not for a second! The doorbell sounds so Frasier answers it. Standing there is a rather nervous Kenny. Niles and Martin watch the scene. Frasier: Hello. Kenny: Look, I know I must be the last person you want to see right now, but please listen. Since I fired you I haven't been able to eat or sleep. Frasier: Kenny, it's only been and hour and a half. Kenny: Well, I'm a napper. I just came to tell you I was wrong. All I've been able to think about was "I just fired a man who was willing to go to the mat for the principles." What does that say about my principles? Before I go on - have you had any job offers? Martin: [shouts] He's had four. Niles: Dad, shut up. Martin: He's had... Niles: Shut up. Martin and Niles carry on doing that for a while before Frasier calms them. Frasier: Technically, I'm still available. Kenny: Well, I'd like you to think about coming back to work tomorrow because the first thing in the morning I'm calling the "Happy Dreams" people and telling them you're uncomfortable with their ads. At KACL, the talent comes first. Frasier: Well, what can I say but, see you tomorrow. Kenny: This is so great. I'm so relieved. [shakes his hand] You know what, can I buy you a beer just to show we have no hard feelings? Frasier: I would love that, as long as I don't have to endorse it afterwards. Kenny: [laughs] Ow, Ouch! [laughs] Zing, I guess I had that one coming. [laughs, then to Martin and Niles] Nice meeting you. Niles: Bye. Martin: See ya. Frasier and Kenny exit the scene. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Two - Radio Station. The following day Frasier is starting his comeback show. Frasier: Good afternoon Seattle, this is Dr. Frasier Crane and I would like to begin today by apologizing for my abrupt departure from the airwaves yesterday. You see, I was embroiled in a conflict with the management. I'm happy to report that it's been resolved. Thank you to the efforts of our new station manager, a courageous and principled young man, Ken Daly. I won't bore you with all the details but suffice it to say he took on the big guys and won. At this point Kenny walks glumly along the corridor behind him with a box with all his stuff in it. Frasier does not see this. Frasier: Anyway, I apologize for our brief interruption yesterday and I assure you... [notices the scene behind him] That today's will be even briefer. Roz, let's go to commercial. [opens door and pulls Kenny into booth] Kenny, Kenny, what's going on? Kenny: Actually, it's the darndest thing. I got fired. Frasier: What?! How did that happen? Kenny: Well, I told the sponsors you wouldn't read their ads. The next thing I know I'm getting called into Mr. Martin's office in the Black Tower. I told him that sponsors are easier to replace than talent. He said I was easier to replace than anybody. Then he called me a pinhead and took my coke away. Roz: That's terrible. Frasier: Oh, Kenny, I can't help feeling that this is all my fault. Kenny: Oh, no, no, these things happen. And if I've got to get fired sticking up for someone, I'm just honored it was for you. At least now I'll have time to finish the nursery in our new house. We're expecting. [his pager beeps, he looks at it] Oh, there's my wife now. She's going to get a kick out of this coincidence. Me and her getting fired in the same week. [points to phone in other booth:] May I? Frasier: Of course. [exits to Roz's booth] Well, we have got to get Kenny's job back. Roz: Well, how are we supposed to do that? Frasier: Well, we'll just round up all the talent, go down to Mr. Martin and demand that he re-hire Kenny. Roz: Mr. Martin owns the station. We can't give him an ultimatum. Frasier: It's not an ultimatum, Roz, we'll simply appeal to the man's sense of decency. You know Kenny went to bat for me, we owe him at least that. Roz: You know, Kenny hasn't asked for our help, for all we know he'll be fine. Kenny: [enters] How do you like that? She's having twins! Heck of a time to loose my insurance, huh? Well, you guys take care. He exits as Frasier gives Roz a stare. [SCENE_BREAK] ONCE UPON A TIME, FRASIER, ROZ, GIL, BULLDOG AND TOOTY WENT TO THE BLACK TOWER... Scene Three - The Black Tower. Frasier, Roz, Bulldog, Gill, Tooty and some other talent arrive in the lift. Frasier: Now together, I know that we can do this. The most important thing is to present a united front. Frasier gets out and notices the rest are still in the lift. Frasier: Well, what is the matter with you people? Gil: Isn't it obvious? We're frightened. Frasier: Of what? Roz: Of everything. We're in a building called the Black Tower; those guards in the lobby must have been seven feet tall; and that metal detector thing we had to go through was really scary. Bulldog: It's even scarier finding out that Gil wears an anklet. Frasier: Alright, that's enough! Get out of the elevator all, of you. [they do] Because I'm ashamed of you, intimidated by a building. We're here for Kenny - the man who wants to start KACL daycare, Roz; the man who approved the extra airbrushing charges on your new publicity photos, Gil. And you Tooty, who was it that just doubled the story-time puppet budget? Tooty: I know, Kenny's a great guy, but I met Joe Martin once. He was a very scary man with eyes as cold as a winter's day... Frasier: Oh all right, Tooty! At this moment Joe Martin enters the reception area. Frasier: Mr. Martin, hello. Joe: Do you have an appointment? Frasier: Mr. Martin, my name is Dr. Frasier Crane and I'm here with some of the other talent from KACL - my producer, Roz Doyle; Gil Chesterton, food critic; Bob Briscoe, sports; Tooty Finegould, the story lady; Ray Schmit, the Greengrocer and Miss Judy, arts and crafts - I'm sorry, Judy, I don't know your last name. Joe: I don't have time for this, I'm in the middle of a board meeting. Please. Frasier: This will only take a moment, Mr. Martin. This morning you fired Kenny Daly, a wonderful station manager and a man of integrity. That is a very rare quality in this industry, I promise you. You fire all the Kenny Dalys, what are you left with? A bunch of sycophants and "yes" men. Am I right? All: [agreeing with him] Yes, you're right. Frasier: Now, it would be a great risk to hire Kenny back, but I'm here to tell you that the man who stops taking risks in life pays a very dear price indeed. I know whereof I speak. I can see that I'm getting through to you, so let me just leave you with one last question: what kind of radio station do you want? Joe: You know, Dr. Crane, that is the exact question I've been asking myself all through that board meeting. As you know, our ratings are down and the number crunchers in there think they can fix this thing by sucking up to our sponsors. He- he, well that's not what I think! Frasier: Bravo! Joe: Thanks to you, I'm going with my gut on this one. Frasier: You bet you are! Joe: I'm going to march right in there and tell them that we're doing it my way. No more talk! Frasier: Exactly, action! Joe: No, no more talk radio. From this moment on, the station is all Latina music, all the time. Frasier: I beg your pardon? Joe: Thank you, Dr. Crane, I'm going back to my roots. I may have walked out of that meeting Joe Martin, corporate sellout. But I'm walking back in Jos� Martinez, risk-taker. He exits. Frasier: What the hell just happened? Roz: You just got us all fired! The rest of them give their thoughts to him as the scene FADES OUT. [SCENE_BREAK] The usual theme music is replaced with a Salsa version of "Tossed Salad..." as the new crew of the station in Frasier's booth sing along to it. Frasier walks past the window in the background carrying a box of his stuff on his leaving day. [N.B. The first time they have not finished a season with a list of guest callers.]

Plan: A: an advertisement; Q: What are Bulldog and Gil recording for a new sponsor? A: pleasant dreams; Q: What does Happy Dreams tea promise to anyone who drinks it? A: the new station manager; Q: Who fired Frasier for refusing to read the Happy Dreams tea ad? A: principle; Q: Why did Frasier refuse to read the Happy Dreams tea ad? A: air; Q: On what medium did Frasier make his stand against the Happy Dreams tea ad? A: his principles; Q: What did Frasier uphold that caused him to be fired? A: the sponsor's advert; Q: What does Kenny confront Joe Martin about? A: work; Q: What does Kenny ask Frasier to return to after he is fired? A: Miguel Sandoval; Q: Who plays Joe Martin? A: risks; Q: What does Frasier convince Joe Martin to take? A: Jose Martinez; Q: What is Joe Martin's real name? A: 24/7; Q: How long does KACL's new owner promise to keep the station playing Latino music? A: all the current hosts; Q: Who is fired when KACL becomes a 24/7 Latino music station? A: the main theme; Q: What is replaced with a Salsa version during the closing credits? Summary: Bulldog and Gil are recording an advertisement for a new sponsor at KACL: Happy Dreams tea, which promises pleasant dreams to anyone drinking it. When he hears this, Frasier is disgusted. When the new station manager instructs him to read the same sponsor advert, he objects on principle and makes a stand on air. This results in him being fired, but the new manager, Kenny, is impressed that Frasier upheld his principles, and decides to confront the station owner, Joe Martin, about the sponsor's advert, while asking Frasier to return to work. Kenny is sacked as a result. Frasier feels responsible and decides to act once more. He and the other on-air talent of KACL approach Joe Martin (Miguel Sandoval). Frasier talks with him and convinces him that he needs to take risks. Martin agrees with Frasier and reveals that his true name is Jose Martinez. He informs everyone that KACL will become a 24/7 Latino music station, and all the current hosts are fired. During the closing credits, the main theme is replaced with a Salsa version.

Act One Scene One - Café Nervosa Daphne is sat at a table as Frasier enters. Frasier: Daphne! Daphne: Hey. Frasier: Hello, I thought you were spending the afternoon with Dad. Daphne: He's in the loo. Why don't you join us? Frasier: All right, thank you. [sits] Hey, did you happen to catch the show today? I was on fire. First caller was an agoraphobic - [fists the air] Boom! - knocked it right out of the park. Then, two troubled marriages and a compulsive over-eater - Boom-boom, Boom! I was a regular mental health dispensing machine. Daphne: I did two loads of laundry and cut a piece of gum out of Eddie's hair. Frasier: Now, Daphne, don't get down on yourself. The work you do at home is very important. In fact, I don't know what Dad and I are going to do once you're married. Daphne: Thank you, Dr. Crane, that makes me feel better. Frasier: Boom! Boy, there is no off-switch on this thing! Daphne: Sadly, that's true. [laughs] Roz enters. Frasier: Oh, there she is, the other half of our team. Roz, are you still as jazzed as I am? Roz: They're taking us off the air! [sits] Frasier: What?! Since when? Roz: Well, while you were out looking for Gatorade to pour over yourself, Kenny came by and said he's yanking us for a week. He wants to try out that new show - you know, "Car Chat with Bob and Bethany." Frasier: "Car Chat with Bob and Bethany," what the... [pauses] Ohhh, touché, Kenny. You are indeed a worthy adversary but you shall find I have a trick or two of my own! [laughs] Daphne: You know, Dr. Crane, maybe a week off would do you some good. Frasier: No, no, no, you don't understand. See, I'm actually renegotiating my contract right now, this is merely the station's tactic to try and get me to cave. Roz: Well, I hope you're right. Frasier: Well, of course I'm right; Bob and Bethany, Car chat, please! I mean how can anyone drone on for three hours about a subject that nobody even understands! Roz: Yeah! We were there first! Roz goes to the counter. Daphne: Don't worry, Dr. Crane, I'm sure you're right about these things. After all, you usually are. Frasier: Well, thank you, Daphne, that's exactly what I needed to hear. Daphne: Boom! They laugh as Martin enters from the toilets. Frasier: Oh, hi Dad. Martin: [sits] Boy, they really did a job in the men's room, didn't they? Frasier: Oh, I hadn't noticed. Martin: Oh yeah, completely re-did it: Fancy wallpapers, bright new tiles, even those little perfumed soaps that you like to use at home, Fras. Daphne: Oh, for heaven's sakes, you went into the ladies room, you blind old sod! I've been begging him for months to get glasses. Martin: Ladies room?! You're crazy, that guy was just in there. Martin points out a very masculine-looking woman. Frasier: [calls over to the woman] Oh hi, Bethany. Listen, good luck in the slot next week. Bethany: Thanks, we're pumped. [exits] Frasier: Granted, Dad, Bethany may be a bit of a tough call, but still, you know, it wouldn't hurt to get a check-up. Martin: Oh, come on, don't you start too. There's nothing wrong with my eyes. [picks up cream holder] Now, if you don't mind, I just want to sit here quietly and have a... [notices the cup he picked up] ...have a drink of cream, do you have a problem with that?! Good. The rest look at him as he sips the cream. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Two - Frasier's Apartment Daphne is cutting some coupons as Frasier enters. Daphne: Hi, Dr. Crane. Frasier: Oh, hello, Daphne. Say, you know my agent, Bebe, said she might be stopping by. Have you heard anything? Daphne: No, and I hope she's not staying for lunch, I'm afraid we're fresh out of live mice. Martin then enters wearing a pair of "old-woman" glasses. Frasier looks at him, alarmed. Martin: Hi, Fras. Frasier: Dad. Martin proudly exits to the kitchen. Frasier: Is it my imagination or are those ladies' glasses? Daphne: Yes, but don't you say anything. I had to drag him down to the store. He tried on every pair in the place, those were the only ones he liked. Martin: [enters] So, how do you like the new specs? Frasier: They certainly are eye-catching. Martin: Yeah. You should have seen the looks I got all day. Mostly from women. You know, I'd like to think it was me but I've got an idea that these frames were designed with an eye to pleasing the ladies. Frasier: I'd say that's a safe assumption. [laughs with Daphne] Martin: Have you seen the case for them? I don't know what I did with it. Daphne: Yes, I think I popped them into my purse, check my room. Martin: Okey-doke. Oh, wait till you see this case, Fras. This Loren guy really knows what he's doing. [exits to Daphne's room] Frasier: Ralph Lauren? Daphne: Sophia. [giggles] Frasier: I'm amazed you could keep a straight face all day. Daphne: Well, I've done enough clothes shopping with your father. [doorbell sounds] I'm pretty good at pretending to like things, no matter how horrifying I find them. Daphne opens the door and smiles at Bebe. Daphne: [cheerful pretense] Bebe, how nice to see you. Bebe peremptorily hands her coat to Daphne and enters. Daphne goes to hang it up and then exits. Bebe: Frasier, my favorite client, Seattle's golden-throated gift to the airwaves. Frasier: [kissing her cheeks] So, I take it negotiations aren't going so well? Bebe: You remember that insulting figure you said you'd never accept? Frasier: Uh-huh. Bebe: They haven't come up to it yet. Frasier: Oh, dear. Niles: [at open door] Knock, knock. Frasier: Oh, come on in, Niles. Bebe's just bringing me up to speed on her depressing news about my contract negotiations. Bebe: Don't worry, dear, I just need to find a way to throw a scare into 'em. Niles: Have you tried turning into a bat? Bebe: I would, love, but most grown men don't share your fear of tiny creatures! Frasier: Could you two please catch up later? Bebe: I did get one offer that I thought might give us some leverage. It's a TV job. Frasier: Television? Bebe: Unfortunately it's all wrong for you. They want you and Roz to host "AM Seattle" next week. Niles: That vapid morning chat show? Bebe: Exactly what I told them. Frasier Crane is a doctor! He heals the masses, he doesn't pander to them. He's not going to do some silly morning kaffeeklatch, no matter how fabulously popular it is. Frasier: No, it's quite right, Bebe. That sort of show, it's beneath me. Bebe: Exactly. Frasier: It's undignified. Bebe: Horribly. Frasier: Still... Bebe: I'm listening. Frasier: If there were a way to do it with a bit more dignity, some polish and substance... Bebe: Why didn't I think of that? Frasier: You know, a dash of high society, a dollop of culture... Niles: I can't believe you're even considering this. The show is nothing more than a mélange of bad jokes and mind-numbing banter. Frasier: Yes, well, it doesn't have to be, Niles, don't you see? I mean, if I could choose the guests myself- Bebe: You can. Frasier: And control the content- Bebe: You could. Frasier: Well, then, I'd accept. Bebe: We did. [realizes] I mean, we will. In fact, why don't I call them right now with the exciting news. [takes out phone and a cigarette] May I? Frasier: On the balcony, if you don't mind. Bebe: Mind? I don't want a single puff tearing up the baby blues of TV's newest sensation. By this time next week... Niles: You heard him, if you're gonna blow smoke, do it on the balcony. Bebe looks daggers at Niles, then haughtily puts the cigarette between her lips and exits to the balcony. Niles: Well, I can't say I'm surprised. Frasier: What is that supposed to mean? Niles: Only that something like this was inevitable. It's the final step in your descent from legitimate psychiatrist to dancing bear. Frasier: Niles, we are talking about doing a sophisticated television show for one week in order to improve my contract negotiations. Niles: This has nothing to do with your contract negotiations! You have been an applause junky ever since you first set foot on a grammar school stage. Frasier: I was drawn to the theatre because of its discipline and collaborative spirit! Niles: Oh please, in your sixth grade production of "Oklahoma!" you took so many curtain calls, Mrs. Van Raphorst had to lasso you and pull you from the stage! Frasier: That woman never understood me or the role of Farmer Number Three! Niles: Oh, I'm just wasting my breath. As usual you have fallen under the spell of that sorceress out there. Frasier: I have done no such thing. I wish you would just lay off of Bebe. You know, she is not some malign witch who can transform people at will! Martin enters wearing his glasses and searching through Daphne's purse which is hung on his arm. Martin: I can't find a damn thing in this purse! [exits] Niles: If I say I'm sorry, will she change Dad back into a man? Frasier gives Niles a look. End of Act One Act Two Scene One - TV Studio Frasier arrives with Bebe on the stage. The producer, Matt, is standing by. Some stage hands and makeup artists circle around Frasier, putting the final touches on his look. Frasier: Well, it took several of your best people, but I believe they have finally wrestled this feisty cow-lick of mine into submission. So, are we ready to roll? Matt: Not quite, your partner's not here. Frasier: Roz is not here? But we're on in four minutes. Matt: No, at this point a re-run is on in four minutes. Bebe: Don't worry, Matt, she'll be here. Matt: We won't even have time to put her through make-up. Bebe: A natural beauty like Roz? Oh, please, darling, pinch her cheeks, stand back and watch her glow. Roz enters - she looks rather under the weather. Roz: Hey, sorry I'm late. Frasier: Roz, oh for God's sakes, you look awful, are you sick? Roz: No, of course not, I wouldn't be sick for our big debut. I'm totally fine. Frasier: [feels her forehead] Roz, you're burning up! Roz: Well, it's kinda hot in here, maybe it's all these lights. Let me just get this jacket off! Roz begins to unbutton her shirt until Frasier stops her. Frasier: No, no, Roz, stop, stop! Matt: She's delirious! Bebe: With anticipation, darling. Don't worry, I'll calm her down. Bebe takes Roz to the side and shakes her. Bebe: Pull yourself together, do you hear me?! We need this show! Matt: All right, everyone, we're doing a re-run, let the audience go, cue the tapes. Bebe: Wait? Can't Frasier do the show without her? Matt: This is a chat show, who's he going to chat with? Bebe: Me, I'll go on with him. Frasier: You? [shakes Roz] Pull yourself together, Roz! Matt: I don't think so, Bebe. Bebe: Why not? All he needs is someone to suck up to him, laugh at his jokes, pretend to listen to his stories. I'm his agent, for God's sakes, that's what I do! Frasier: You know, I believe she could pull it off. Matt: The problem is she needs to be likable. Frasier: Right. Do I at least get to keep the suit? Bebe: Hold on, I can be likable. I can also be very un-likable. Maybe if you explained the difference to poor confused Bebe. For instance, what you were doing in the dressing room with the wardrobe girl an hour ago - would your wife find that likable or unlikable? Matt: [worried] Could you put some make-up on this woman? Bebe walks over to Frasier. Manager: Okay, folks, sixty seconds. Frasier: All right, Bebe, just follow my lead. I'll introduce us and then I'll get to our guests, all right? They sit and Frasier looks through the cue cards. Frasier: Wasn't our first guest Susan Sontag? Bebe: She had a conflict. Don't worry, we've got a fabulous replacement. Frasier: [reading] "Baby Leo, the world's biggest two year-old"?! Bebe: You're gonna love him. Just remember to lift with your legs. Frasier: [throws down the cards] That's it, this is unacceptable. Bebe: Ohhh, now who's the world's biggest baby? Frasier: Bebe, I will not do this show...! Manager: [over Frasier's protests] And we're on in five, four... Frasier and Bebe cease their arguing as the intro music starts and the audience applauds. Frasier: Hi, welcome to "AM Seattle." I'm Dr. Frasier Crane. Bebe: And I'm Bebe Glaser. Frasier: We're gonna be your hosts this week and believe me, we've got some great shows lined up for you. But before we get to our guests I'd like to take a few moments to share with you a few thoughts I've prepared on a very special time of the day, the time that we'll be spending together, morning. A new beginning. A daily rebirth, if you will. Matt: What the hell is this? Banter, banter. [he mimes banter to Bebe] Frasier: And even though AM stands for Anti-Meridian, if you simply put them together, they also make up the word "am" as in "I am." Bebe: Whoa! Not before my coffee! As you can see, Frasier has a way with words, but did you also know that he has a way with voices. Frasier: Excuse me? Bebe: Who wants to hear Frasier's famous Sean Connery impression? The crowd goes wild. [N.B. They used the real studio audience that attended the filming of this episode.] Frasier: [Sean Connery voice] Now, Now, Moneypenny, you're embarrassing me. Bebe: Dr. Frasier Crane, ladies and gentlemen. Anymore impressions, Frasier? Frasier: You know what, maybe I should just get back to my... Bebe: Now, don't be shy! Who wants to hear Frasier do more impressions? The crowd applauds. Frasier: It's just that I'd hate to take time away from our other guests. I believe that [in James Mason voice] James Mason may be stopping by to visit. The crowd applauds as we FADE OUT. I THINK THAT SMELL IS GREASE PAINT [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Two - TV Studio A few days later, Bebe and Frasier are presenting another show Frasier: Well, this has been some week. Bebe: It's really flown by. Frasier: Hasn't it? Bebe: Whoosh! Frasier: A-whoosh! Bebe: And there's even time for Thursday's kitchen corner. We'll be right back with Chef Frasier. They take the show to commercials. Matt: And we're clear. Frasier: Bebe, "Kitchen corner?" I thought we had the violin prodigy up next. For God sakes, we've bumped Kim Lee twice this week. Bebe: I know, but we're running short of time and the cooking segment's going to be bopo! Frasier: Well, all right, but I insist Kim Lee play over the closing credits, all right? We're not running some sort of tacky, run-of-the-mill morning show! Director: Here's your chef's costume. [he takes it in anguish] Bebe: Now, now, big dear. You know, Frasier, the most magical thing happened to me last night during dinner. Frasier: Really? Bebe: I was recognized. Frasier: Intoxicating, isn't it? Gosh, I myself, no stranger to celebrity, have noticed more heads swiveling in my direction. Matt: And we're back in five, four, three, two... Frasier and Bebe take their place. Frasier: Welcome back. Bebe: Frasier, I hear you're quite the gourmet. Frasier: Oh please, I don't do anything fancy. A few soufflés, a flambé or two, just good eats! Now, this morning I'm going to be making my signature breakfast for you. That's "Eggs Pelemo Fontana." Bebe: Mmmm, makes my mouth water. But before we start, I have a little sweetheart backstage who's dying to come out and give you a hand. Frasier: Is it Kim Lee? Bebe: Not even close. It's Bobo, the cooking chimp! A stagehand leads in Bobo, wearing a chef's jacket. Frasier: [covering] Ho-ho, that's very funny, it is. This has Matt's fingerprints all over it! Offstage, Matt points at Frasier, grinning. Bebe: We thought it might be great fun if you were to match your skills against him. Frasier: Oh, I don't know, Bebe. Er.... Bebe: Well, let's let the audience decide. How many of you want to see the monkey make eggs? [they all clap] Now, how many of you want to see Bobo make eggs? Frasier: Ouch! [laughs] Well, all right, apes before beauty! Bobo and Frasier take their seat in the kitchen corner. Bebe: Frasier, Bobo, may the best chef win! Frasier: Now, the first rule of boute cusine is to be sure that you have all of your ingredients at hand. You see, we have eggs, milk, butter, spinach and of course our old friend, the shallot! Bobo meanwhile has already cracked his egg in the pan. Frasier: Why, look at that, he's not even pre-heating the pan, the beast! [laughs] Bebe: Bobo's getting an early lead. Frasier: It's very important to keep your eggs light and fluffy, so what you want to do is add a bit of milk and a touch of flour. Bobo meanwhile throws an egg at Frasier. They begin to have an improvised slinging match, throwing the eggs at each other. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Three - Frasier's Apartment That evening, Frasier, Daphne and Martin (wearing his women's glasses) are watching it on the television. Frasier: Now this whole thing was improvised. Daphne: You're kidding, it's like you and the chimp have been working together for years! Martin: Boy, that's great stuff, Frasier. You know, I can't tell you how impressed the guys at McGinty's are that I have such a famous son. Frasier: Really? What do they say? Martin: Well, they don't say anything to my face, but when I walk in they kind of nudge each other and whisper. Daphne: [responding to a bell heard in the kitchen] That'll be my Shepherd's Pie. [exits to kitchen] Martin: Shepherd's Pie? [takes glasses off] Frasier: You know, I must confess, there's a part of me that wishes I could still do the TV show. [doorbell] Martin: Well, there's a part of me that wishes that monkey was cooking dinner instead of you-know-who... but we put our dreams away! Martin exits as Frasier opens the door to Roz. Frasier: Oh, hi, Roz. Well, don't you look nice. Are you feeling better? Roz: Yes, thank you. Can we talk? Frasier: Well, of course, come on in. What's the matter? Roz: Well, I talked to my friends in business affairs and they say they're ready to close our deal but Bebe's holding it up. Frasier: Well, of course she's holding it up, she's trying to make them sweat a little bit. That's the whole strategy behind the TV show: leverage. Roz: Yeah, well, I heard a rumor that "AM Seattle" isn't happy with their regular hosts and I think she's angling for you to take over. So where does that leave me? Frasier: Well, even if that was Bebe's plan, you're forgetting that it's still my career and I'm calling the shots. There is no way I would continue doing "AM Seattle." Roz: Yeah, well, you look like you are having the time of your life. Frasier: I'm playing a character! There is a big difference between "Dr. Frasier Crane, psychiatrist" and "Frasier Crane, the guy who starts your morning right." I'll tell you what. I will speak to Bebe when we're in the chair. Oh, that's the industry term for when we're getting our make-up put on. Roz: Thanks, Frasier. [picks up Martin's glasses] God, this is so weird! Daphne usually has such great taste, what was she thinking with these glasses?! Frasier: Well, actually, Roz... Roz: [laughing, puts them on] I've gotta go see what these look like. Roz heads to the powder room as Martin enters and notices her. Martin: Hi, Roz. Roz: Hey. [she closes the door] Martin: He-he-he, somebody ought to tell Mr. Doyle she's wearing a dude's glasses! Frasier rolls his eyes. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Four - Backstage Behind the scenes of "AM Seattle," Frasier is getting his make-up put on as Bebe enters. Frasier: Oh, Kiki, you're a magician. Bebe: Frasier, you're not going to believe the wonderful news I just got: they want us to stay on. Frasier: What?! Bebe: Yes, we had the highest ratings the show's had all year. Frasier: I don't believe this, Roz was right. You had no intention of negotiating my radio contract. Bebe: ...I don't expect gratitude, Frasier. Just a little faith. I finished your KACL contract this morning. [hands it over] Frasier: You did? Bebe: And I did quite a good job, I might add. Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry, Bebe, I owe you an apology... [reads it] Well, this is wonderful, got an extra week's vacation and a very handsome raise. Bebe: It's garbage compared to what they'll give us to stay on here. You'll get an expense account, a wardrobe allowance, not to mention a car and driver. For a moment he's tempted. Frasier: No, no, let's not forget why I took this job. It was to raise my profile, to get a better deal with the radio contract, and we've done that, Bebe. And I thank you. Bebe: You're welcome, darling, and I respect your choice. Frasier: Thanks. Bebe: Now, let's talk about today's show. Frasier: Right. Bebe: We start with the Friday Fiesta, here are our costumes... [hands over Mexican ponchos] and then we move on to the Girl Scout cookie-selling champ... [Bebe turns to tears] and then we... Frasier: Bebe, are you all right? Bebe: I spent my life in the wings, it was just nice having my moment in the spotlight. The rush when that little red light on camera turns on... [captivating him] The stupid masking tape on that dressing room door with my name on it... Frasier: The stage door johnnys, or whatever that strange man with the autograph book calls himself... Niles enters, noticing her tactics. Bebe: Admit it, darling, you want this as much as I do. I saw it in your eyes during the pie-eating contest. Nobody loves blueberries that much, it's the audience you love! Announcer: [o.s.] Are you ready for Bebe and Frasier? The crowd goes wild. Bebe clutches Frasier. Bebe: Listen to them! They want you! Frasier: They do want me, don't they? Bebe: Tell me to tear up the contract, Frasier. Frasier: Maybe it is time for a change... Niles: [moves in] Get away from him, you she-thing! Frasier: Niles! Niles: It's a good thing Dad started choking on that peanut or I would have never come back here for water. Stop this madness! Bebe: He can't stop it, no one can, show business is in his blood! Niles: No, psychiatry is. Frasier, you're a healer. Bebe: Anyone can heal. You're better than that, [eyes light up] you're an entertainer! Frasier: Oh God, Niles, she's right. I love the audience. I know it's shallow but it makes me feel alive. Niles: Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look in this outfit? Frasier, I know I sometimes I make light of your radio show, but the truth is you provide help and hope and comfort to people who need it. I have always envied you that. Bebe: Don't listen to that drivel! Frasier: He's right, Bebe. I'm a psychiatrist, I can't do the show anymore. I'm sorry. Bebe: Then quit! Who needs ya? I'll find some other stuffed shirt who's happy to ride my coat tails to fame. [beat] Niles, you're a doctor. Frasier: [stands between them] Niles, don't look into her eyes! Bebe: Well, that's it... the dream is over. Matt: [o.s.] Thirty seconds! Bebe: But I'm still a professional. [puts on her oversized sombrero] There's an audience out there waiting for two people to ride in on a donkey. I don't know about you, but I'm not going to let them down. [mounts the donkey] Niles: [off Frasier's glance] It's your last show. Get out there! Frasier: Thanks, brother, for keeping me grounded. Frasier then puts his Mexican hat on and clambers onto the donkey and sets out to the stage. Niles: Vaya Con Dios! As Frasier and Bebe emerge from the curtain, they salute the audience. Announcer: [o.s.] And here they are, Bebe and Frasier! The crowd goes wild. [SCENE_BREAK] Martin is sat in Café Nervosa cleaning his glasses. As he does so, a woman comes in and sits with him wearing the exact same type. Martin realizes they are ladies' glasses and quietly slips the glasses away before striking up conversation with her.

Plan: A: Frasier; Q: Who believes that Bebe is stalling the negotiations with KACL? A: the air; Q: What is Frasier's show being taken off of for a week? A: his contract; Q: What is Frasier re-negotiating with KACL? A: a tactic; Q: What does Frasier think the week off is? A: Bebe Glazer; Q: Who tells Frasier that he and Roz have been offered the chance to host AM Seattle? A: the situation; Q: What does Bebe Glazer tell Frasier is bleak? A: television; Q: Where is AM Seattle on? A: the first day; Q: When does Roz show up with a fever and delirium? A: her place; Q: What does Bebe step into when Roz is unable to co-host? A: several valiant attempts; Q: How many attempts does Frasier make to raise the level of decorum on AM Seattle? A: impressions; Q: What does Bebe convince Frasier to do on the show? A: the end of the week; Q: When do Bebe and Frasier become intoxicated by the experience of hosting AM Seattle? Summary: Frasier's show is being taken off the air for a week. This happens to be at the time when he is re-negotiating his contract with KACL , so he believes this is a tactic of theirs. Bebe Glazer soon tells him that the situation is bleak, but he and Roz have been offered the chance to host AM Seattle on television. Roz turns up on the first day with a fever and delirium , and is incapable of co-hosting, so Bebe steps into her place. During the show, Frasier makes several valiant attempts to raise the level of decorum, but Bebe artfully keeps it light, persuading him to do impressions and so forth. By the end of the week, they are both intoxicated by the experience. However, Frasier learns that Bebe is stalling the negotiations with KACL and starts to suspect that she is angling to make their move to AM Seattle permanent.

Pam: Hey Angela, you wanna see a picture of Phillip wearing those little booties you got us? Angela: So cute. Oscar: Hey, you guys want to see a picture of Gerald wearing galoshes? He refused to go out in the rain until I bought these. Now going out in the rain is all he wants to do. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Oscar thinks that having a dog is just like having a baby. Angela: News flash - If you didn't carry it around for nine months, it isn't your kid. Pam: Exactly. Unless you adopted, of course. Angela: That is where we disagree. [SCENE_BREAK] Oscar: Hey, are your little dudes crawling yet? Pam: No, three-month-old humans don't do that. Angela: My Phillip is crawling. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Angela is such a liar! Oscar: It's maddening! [SCENE_BREAK] Oscar: Exactly. That's just like crate training. All night long, all night long. Pam: Well count yourself lucky. Wait until you have two. That's two sleep schedules, two naps that don't coincide, I mean, you'll never sleep again. [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: No one said "you must have two" Oscar: Like her genes are so important. The world just needs more Pam/Jim DNA. Thank you, no. Angela: No thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: [laughing] Check this out. My brother just got a new sailboat. He has NO idea what he just got himself into. There's nothing harder than taking care of a boat...am i right? [SCENE_BREAK] Angela/Pam: Unbelievable! Oscar: Un-be-liev-a-ble. [SCENE_BREAK] Nellie: It is the end of the day, it is the end of the week. We managed to fill 40 hours somehow. That's not bad, is it? Packer: That's great. Dwight: Pretty good. Nellie: Well thank you. This is very helpful feedback. [Dwight raises his hand] Dwight, I am still not ready to name a VP. Dwight: [laughing] That's not what I was going to ask. Gosh, jump to conclusions. Come on, I know, you've got so much on your plate. Right now, you're like 'oh, what's more important? Dwight's question, figure out who's the VP?' Dwight, VP. Dwight, VP. Dwight, VP. Dwight, VP. Nellie: I can't be hypnotized, Dwight. I tried it, I ended up smoking more. Dwight: Can we at least eliminate those that are not in the running? Free them up to focus more completely on the menial. Like stacking or sorting, or- Jim: Catching butterflies. Dwight: That's a hobby, unless it's for food. Jim: Theater. Dwight: Waste of time. Jim: Dragging. Dwight: That's just a verb. Jim: Dragging sticks. Dwight: Yes, nice, perfect. Dragging sticks. Nellie: Alright, I'm gonna eliminate three people right now, okay? Just... you three, no. Packer: Not good enough (clicks tongue) [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: English peoples' main use today is judging American talent. [British accent] You're crap. You're wonderful. [back to American] They're mean, but they're incisive. [SCENE_BREAK] Nellie: Everyone meet in the hotel bar at 7:00. I'm not allowed to say it's mandatory, so let's just call it compulsory. Packer: I'll be there at 6:00 Cathy: Ugh, we're gonna have one of those crazy nights, aren't we? Maybe we'll see the real 'Talla-nasty' we've been hearing so much about. Jim: 'Talla-nasty', very clever. Cathy: Thank you- Gabe: Wait, wait, you think she invented 'Talla-nasty?' [chuckles] no, no, no, no... [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Cathy? It's been great. Fun, normal. [in voiceover] I thought I was gonna be hanging out with stanley on this trip, but he's turned out to be kind of a loose cannon. Stanley: My friend and I are new here in Tallahassee. Would you like to get a cocktail? [Jim slowly slinks down in his seat, with the 'Jim Face']. Maybe go out for a little dancing. Beautiful day, no? [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Okay, everybody. 5:00. Workday is over. Put your pencils down. Aaannnnddd bring 'em back up, because now, the late night work jam begins! Pam: Yes, the conference room is set up. I've got pens, I've got paper, I've got a whiteboard, we are good to go! Andy: Say what? Pam: We are good to goooo! Andy: Say what? Pam: We're good to goooo! Angela: Stop it. Andy: Say- Angela: Stop it. Oscar: Andy. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Tonight we're staying late to service the accounts of the people who went on the Florida trip. Pam: Yes, of course, we could've just been doing this the whole time, but SOMEONE dropped the ball. Andy: ...ball droppings can be beautiful. For example, when it turns an awkward soprano into a rich, full tenor. [SCENE_BREAK] Packer: Jason Bourne would kick Bond's ass. Nellie: Jason Bourne has no support staff. His own government's out to get him. Dwight: Genghis Khan could take 'em both down 'cause he's not afraid to kill children ... What? it's true. He- He would- he would eviscerate babies and hang them from poles outside of the villages. (Jim taps Dwight on the shoulder) Packer: Okay, drinking game. Count of three, take three sips. Dwight: That's a stupid game. I got a great drinking game. Okay, everyone empty your pockets. Whoever has the most seeds is the king. Whoever has the least buttons is the hunchback. Gabe: What happens if you're the hunchback? Dwight: Oh, you get kicked. Jim: How many buttons do you have? Dwight: (takes out bag) 40. Always. Cathy: Can I see? Dwight: Sure. (Hands bag to Cathy) Cathy: So, I get to kick you now. Dwight: No, they're not transferrable just 'cause I handed 'em to you. Cathy: Well, that's how I played it in college. Jim: College rules (Cathy throws Jim the bag and Jim kicks Dwight) Dwight: Aah! Packer: Aaaaand he host at his own lame game. Nellie: Ooh, double meaning! The game was lame, and now he's lame from the kick. Quick wit. Packer: Thank you. (Dwight looks on angrily) [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: I'll have a glass of your oakiest chardonnay, please. Erin: And I will have waffle with your mapliest syrup. Waitress: Sorry, no waffles. Erin: Oh, okay. Just forget it, then. Forget it. Forget it. Ryan: A waffle? Erin: A hotel waffle. I know what I want to eat. Is that crazy? Ryan: No. Erin: I'm moving down here, you know. Ryan: Oh, no, I didn't know. Erin: I'm young, and I can ... and if I can't, I'm still pretty young. I guess I'll always be young. Ryan: You come with me. We're gonna get you that waffle. [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: Why would Erin confide in me that she's staying here in Florida if she didn't want me to make some last-ditch, nothing to lose, Kelly Ka-who run at her? (Erin walks over) Hey. Erin: Hey. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Watson carpet and tile. Kevin: One order. Oscar: Order reference number 00983-126. Phyllis: Eight Cases, bright white inkjet. Angela: Paid. Kelly: I'm dying! Darryl: Processed. Val: And delivered. [SCENE_BREAK] Kelly: Sometimes I get so bored I just want to scream, and then sometimes I actually do scream. I just sorta feel out what the situation calls for. [SCENE_BREAK] Nellie: I will be right back. Packer: I will be here. Dwight: Hey. I see what you're doing. It's futile. the VP position is mine. Packer: Oh, please, You're through. She's going to give it to me as I'm giving it to her tonight. The cowgirl has chosen her saddle. [clicks tongue, whinnies] Dwight: Well, saddles... [clicks tongue, whinnies] ... sometimes fall off, especially if you don't properly cinch the girth. Packer: What? That's a joke, right? You see the way she's all over me. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: If anyone's having s*x with Nellie for personal gain, it's me, and I'm not joking at all. If you don't tighten your saddle, you may fall off. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Who is ready for dinner? "oh, I bet it's pizza, or tacos, or something stupid". No. [claps] I went south of the border for this. And then I went south of that border. And we have ourselves... [takes foil off tray] [Jamaican accent] A Jamaican feast, mon! [Disapproval from everyone else] Phyllis: If I wanted Jamaican food I'd just hire a bunch of bodyguards and go there. Andy: Additional trivia factoid, this food comes to us through Val. And our server is none other than Brandon, her boyf! Val: Hey. Brandon: How you doing, Val? [Val and Brandon kiss] Oscar: Jamaican, huh? I just read about the elections down there. Crazy stuff. Brandon: Oh no, I'm not actually Jamaican. Oscar: Terrific. Darryl: What's up man? I'm Darryl. Brandon: Darryl, I heard about you. You doing good? Darryl: Oh yeah. Brandon: Must be doing real good since you're f***ing my girlfriend. Everyone: Whoa. Kevin: Dude, you didn't tell me you were f***ing Val. High five! Darryl: I'm not sleeping with your girlfriend. Val: Brandon, what the hell are you talking about? Brandon: Don't play dumb with me. I know what's up. Val: Honey, I am not sleeping with- Andy: Heyyy... let's get back to the food. Brandon, tell us about these delicious looking goops! Brandon: Hope you all like goat. Andy: Goat... [SCENE_BREAK] Nellie: Blow in my ear. Packer: Alright. Nellie: Like I'm on the beach. [Packer blows in Nellie's ear] Dwight: [imitates seagull calls] Seagull. [Continues seagull calls] Nellie: And a wave crashing... a wave crashing. [Packer and Dwight imitate waves] Nellie: Oh, that is lovely. Jim: Alright, that's gonna do it for me tonight. Have a lovely evening. [SCENE_BREAK] [Cathy knocks on Jim's door and Jim answers] Jim: Hey, how's it going? Cathy: Hey, uh, good. Uh, the heating system though in my room is all messed up. It's like 90 degrees in there. Maintenance is working on it. Can I hang out here? Jim: Uh... yeah, I'm just watching basketball. Cathy: Okay, yeah. Jim: Okay. Cathy: Cool... [Jumps onto bed] Is this March Madness? I love March Madness. Jim: Oh, no, that's not this 'cause that's in... March. Uh, this is just the NBA. Professional. Miami Heat, actually, so... [sits on floor] Cathy: LeBron James. Jim: Yes, nice. Good word association Cathy: [giggles] [Cathy walks over to mini fridge and bends over to take something out. Jim looks away] [SCENE_BREAK] [Packer takes string out of his mouth] Nellie: Impressive. Dwight: Oh please, anyone can tie a knot, the real skill is in untying it [puts string in his mouth] [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Thornwood Wholesalers. Kevin: One order. Brandon: I read the text you sent to Val, man. Val: That's messed up. Angela: Is this spicy? Brandon: No, baby girl. It would be messed up if I didn't find anything, but I did, so- Andy: I'm pretty sure if Darryl sent Val a text, it was about some paper emergency or something. Brandon: At midnight? Andy: ... yeah... Kevin: It happens! Like a hospital needs more napkins for surgery... Kelly: Guys, we're not gonna settle anything this way. I think we just need to be grown-ups here. Andy: Thank you. Kelly: I thin we're gonna need to here those texts. Andy: Kelly, remember how you wanted to go home before? Kelly: No. There's no way in hell I'm leaving. Something interesting is happening here for once in my life, I am staying here. Darryl, read the texts. [SCENE_BREAK] [Knock at the door] Jim: Yup, coming. [opens door] All right. Stanley: My mini bar is oddly out of rum. Jim: We have plenty. Stanley: Oh, hello. [laughs with Cathy] Jim: Do you want to watch the game with us? We're watching a game. The Heat game. Just a game. Stanley: Got it. Good night. Careful Jim, it gets easier and easier. Jim: No, no, no, Stanley. Stanley: mm-hmm. [about to leave] Jim: Stanley. Stanley. Stanley: uh-huh. Jim: Stanley. Uhh... you know what? Just bring back those bottles! [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Whoa. the lights are still on. Ryan: Yeah, they keep them on 'cause it's less expensive than turning them on and off. Erin: I like how guys just know stuff all the time. Ryan: Girls know a lot of stuff too, okay? And nobody knows more than you. Especially me. Erin: [gasps] Hello, waffle iron. Ryan: Hello, what do we have here? Erin: Okay, so the recipe says we need a mixing bowl... Ryan: Right. Erin: ... a measuring cup... Ryan: Got that. [Metallic thud] Get down. Erin: [whispers] It's the fuzz! Ryan: [whispers] Shh! do you want us to get scolded? Shut your beautiful, beautiful mouth, please. [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: "I got too much ice cream. You want some?" "Getting' my fry on." Kelly: Boring. Darryl: Uh, "The moon is huge tonight." Phyllis: Ooh, gosh, the moon one's damning. Yeah, sorry. Darryl: That's regular text talk. Brandon: You forgot one. Darryl: "You're such a great friend." Brandon: With the dots. Darryl: "You're such a great friend, dot dot dot dot dot." Kelly: Five dots, Darryl, are you kidding me? Okay, 'cause three dots means 'to be continued', four dots is a typo, but five dots means "Whoa, do not make me say what I want to say, baby, but if I did, it would blow your mind, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Everyone: Oh... Brandon: See? Yes. Thank you, sister. Val: Brandon, Darryl and me? That's ridiculous, right? Darryl: Yeah, totally crazy. Puts me in an insane asylum just thinking about it. I'm stranded on shutter island over here. [SCENE_BREAK] Nellie: You look like Ed Harris if they stretched him a little bit. Dwight: You wanna see a picture of me trapped under a tree? [cell phone rings] ...ahhmmm... excuse me... What?! Not now, I'm busy. Jim: [on phone] I'm sorry, I thought you'd want to know that I saw a bedbug in my room. But, never mind, sorry to interrupt. Dwight: Wait wait wait wait, bedbugs? Oh no... Freak, I need a favor. Gabe: Well, then you have to call me by my name. Gabriel Susan Lewis. Dwight: I gotta be gone for a few minutes. You make sure that Packer does NOT sleep with Nellie. Gabe: What's in it for GSL? Dwight: You really want Packer as your boss? Gabe: Got it. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: If Jim has bedbugs, that means they're everywhere. I can't risk them coming back to Schrute Farms. Our biggest attraction is our 200 year old mattresses. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Where did you see it? Jim: In the bed. Cathy: I haven't seen anything. Dwight: We gotta find it before it eggs. [pulls sheets off bed] Cathy: Jeez... Dwight: Describe it. Jim: Brown, shiny, painful bite. Dwight: Could be a bat weevil... Describe its mood. Did it seen sleepy? Jim: Stressed, but to be fair, it was a tense situation. Dwight: Fair enough, but after it bit you, did it run away fearful, or did it walk away smug, self-assured? Jim: So smug. Like he thought it was funny, like this. Dwight: Pshh. That's a bedbug. Jim: Yeah. Dwight: Everything's a joke. Jim: I know. Dwight: Check your hair! [checks Jim's hair] Jim: Ow. Dwight: God, oh. So greasy, you should just shave all this. Jim: Just check it. Dwight: You are clean. Okay... One thing a bedbug thrives on is heat and carbon dioxide [starts running in place and turning up the thermostat] I am going to generate myself into a human trap. [starts to take off clothes] When I jump into the bed, you are going to cover me with the sheet immediately. And then we'll see who's laughing. [dastardly laugh] Jim: Alright. Dwight: Yeah. [jumps into bed] Cover me! Cathy: Is this really nessecary? Jim: He knows what he's doing. Dwight: Let the bedbugs bite! Cathy: Ugh, god, I feel so gross. I have to go take a shower. Jim: Alright, then I will catch you later... What do we do now? Dwight: We wait. [Shower starts] Come to papa. Jim: Oh. [SCENE_BREAK] [Packer and Nellie are speaking softly to each other. Gabe sprays his inhaler into Packer's drink.] Jim: I don't know, Dwight, I think maybe you should check again. Dwight: Nope, I wasn't bitten. Jim: Well, maybe it isn't warm enough in here. Dwight: Oh, it's plenty warm, and I was farting continuously under the sheet, creating a kind of greenhouse effect. Jim: Come on. Dwight: If there were any in here, They would've imbedded themselves in me. Jim: You know what? Maybe they just ate. Dwight: No, you're good. Clean bill of health! Besides I gotta get back downstairs. I left Packer alone with Nellie for way too long. Jim: Okay, they're fine. They're adults. Dwight: No, that's the problem. Packer is trying to bed Nellie for the VP job unless I do it first. Jim: Is that really how you want to get this job? Dwight: Such a chorus girl. Jim: Okay, Dwight... Dwight... Dwight, Dwight Dwight!... uh... Cathy: [in a bathrobe] Is crazy gone? [Jim does his signature face] [SCENE_BREAK] [Nellie and Packer are dancing. Gabe winks at Dwight. Packer pukes all over Gabe's slacks and walks off.] Nellie: Oh! Gabe: They don't make these cords in boot cut anymore! Dwight: Euughh... Pathetic, huh? A real man swallows his vomit when a lady is present... Hey. [SCENE_BREAK] Cathy: Yeah, one death by chocolate, one bananas foster... Okay, cool. Thanks... I know, I'm a pig, right? Jim: Hmm? No. Cathy: [giggles] Wait, this why I exercise like a fiend. Feel. Seriously. Jim: Okay alright. [gets up] I'm really sorry, uh, I just have to say it. I'm-I'm married. I'm very happily married. Cathy: Oh my God, what are you thinking? Jim: um... I mean- Cathy: I know that you're married, I sat at your wife's desk. How little do you think of me? Jim: I'm sorry, I feel like maybe I'm-I'm I misread things. Okay, let's just go back to watching. Cathy: Can you... without running to the other side of the room all night? Jim: Yes, I can. [Cathy laughs] uh, all right. I'm really sorry. I think we'll just... we'll just watch. You can watch, not watch, whatever you want to do. Take another shower, I don't care. Cathy: Okay. [Sits next to Jim.] I am so cold. Jim: [Jim Face] [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Hey, Darryl. You okay? Darryl: She's got a boyfriend. Andy: Play it cool, man. She'll come around. Pam: No, you should go for it. I mean nothing would've happened with me and Jim if he didn't put himself out there. Andy: Yeah, but... My friend Jim would tell you to play it cool. Pam: My husband would tell you to go for it. [SCENE_BREAK] Ryan: Hey. Erin: Hey. Ryan: Hey. Erin: Hey. Ryan: Hey, this is fun. Erin: A lot of fun. Ryan: I know. Can I give you a compliment? I'm really impressed by how much you've grown. Since I met you, it's like night and day. Erin: You should move down here with me. Ryan: Yeah? Erin: We could be roommates. Ryan: Really? Erin: We could get a dog. We could go to R-rated movies. And who knows, I mean, you're a guy, I'm a girl- Ryan: Yeah. Erin: Maybe in six months- Ryan: [louder] Six months?... um, okay, I'm in love with Kelly. [SCENE_BREAK] Nellie: Put your forehead near mine, and see if you can read my thoughts. Dwight: Okay... Seven, one, one, nine... Nellie: No, no, no, not numbers, no. Dwight: No, okay. Nellie: No. Dwight: Try again... Ugh, I'm still getting numbers! Seven, one, one... is anyone around here thinking the numbers seven one one? 'Cause please stop, okay? Nellie: Dwight, give me a key card to your room. Meet me in seven minutes for some one-on-one time. Dwight: [gasps]Wait, the numbers! Nellie: Mm-hmm. Dwight: oh... Nellie: mm-hmm... Dwight: There you go. Nellie: I will see you in seven- Dwight: Seven minutes. [Dwight and Nellie kiss]... Nellie, wait. Let me write my room number on the card. [chuckles]. [Dwight writes on the key card scratches it with a magnet and hands it back to Nellie] Dwight: [in voiceover] Win at all costs, don't respect women. These are the tenets I was brought up with, and they have served me well. But my ancestors never worked in corporate America, and before that, hunters. And before that, time travelers. And before that, me again. At least, that's how the legend goes. The point is they never had to worry about how they got ahead. They just had to put food on the table and not alter the past. [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: 1434-967, paid. Darryl: It has been processed. Val: It has been delivered. Pam: That's it, last one. [Everyone applauds] Kelly: Andy this has been an amazing night. Epic. Andy: Cool-down fiesta begins right now. I got decaf coffee... Phyllis: No way. Andy: I got Romy and Michele's High School Reunion... Val: Hey. I just wanted to apologize. I mean, that was so weird. Can we just, like, never talk about it again? Darryl: Sure. Val: Okay, thanks. Darryl: Hey, just so you know, me and you... I don't think that's ridiculous... Dot, dot, dot... dot, dot. [SCENE_BREAK] [Jim walks into his room to find a bathrobe on the floor] Jim: All right. Now I think it's time for you to go. Cathy: What? Oh, Jim, I thought we talked about this. You're cool, right? Jim: Cathy, go. Dwight: [wearing face mask with spray chemicals in hand] Where's the bug? Jim: Awesome. Dwight: [sprays the bed and Cathy] Stand back! Cathy: Aah! Stop, it, oh my god! That burns! what is that?! Dwight: [continues spraying the bed] It's a compound of chemicals I pulled off the maid's cart! Cathy: [coughs and moans] Jim: Right there! [points to Cathy] Cathy: Oh stop it, stop it, stop it! Jim: [coughs] Oh, big one! Big one! Really big one! Cathy: I can't breathe! Dwight: I think I saw it! Cathy: Stop it! [runs out the door] Jim: Nice job, I think you got 'em. Dwight: You can't stay here, this place is a biohazard. If I were you, I'd just bunk with Cathy. Jim: [Jim face] [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Second best Bananas Foster I've ever had. Jim: Oh yeah? What's the first best? Nellie: [at the door, unsuccessfully trying to open it with the demagnetized key card] Dwight? [knocks] Hello? Dwight? Jim: [whispers] Is that Nellie? Dwight: [whispers] Don't let-shh! Nellie: Are you in there? I can see the light on under your door. Hello? [knocks] [Dwight turns off the lights] Oh, look at that. The light went off, just as I said the light went on. Hello? [knocks] Dwight? [whispers] Dwight. [Dwight eats his Bananas Foster]

Plan: A: the Sabre store; Q: What store do Dwight and Packer compete to be in charge of? A: Sabre; Q: What store is Packer trying to take over? A: Nellie; Q: Who does Dwight and Packer try to seduce? A: Cathy; Q: Who tries to seduce Jim? A: help; Q: What does Dwight do to stop Cathy from seducing Jim? A: Scranton; Q: Where does Andy have everyone stay late to cover for their co-workers in Florida? Summary: Dwight and Packer compete to be in charge of the Sabre store by trying to romantically woo Nellie. Cathy bothers Jim in his room and tries to seduce him, only to be foiled with help from Dwight. In Scranton, Andy has everyone stay late to cover for their co-workers in Florida.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Previously on Veronica Mars� Duncan Kane. He used to be my boyfriend. Duncan is kneeling next to Veronica in journalism class (from 114 "Mars vs Mars). Then cut to scene of Veronica deliberately ignoring Duncan (from 109 "Drinking the Kool-Aid"). VERONICA VOICEOVER: Then one day, with no warning, he ended things. Is Duncan my half-brother? Cut to Meg and Veronica outside their lockers (from 108 "Like a Virgin"). VERONICA: Meg, you're the last good person at this school. Cut to Meg in the car park outside school (from 108 "Like a Virgin"). MEG: You do have friends, Veronica. Cut to Veronica and Leo at the Sheriff's Department (from 114 "Mars vs Mars"). VERONICA: Lilly Kane was my best friend. Did you know that the� Cut to Clarence Wiedman entering his office (from 111 "Silence of the Lamb"). VERONICA: [Offscreen]�head of security at Kane Software was the one that made the tip call that got Abel Koontz arrested? Cut to Lianne standing outside a stadium (from 105 "You Think You Know Somebody"). LIANNE: Veronica, I know you have a million questions but everything will make sense when the time is right. Cut to Aaron and Logan in Aaron's bedroom (from 113 "Lord of the Bling"). AARON: Have you heard from your sister? LOGAN: She sent a telegram. Cut to Aaron and Logan about to go out the front door (from 113 "Lord of the Bling"). AARON: I know you blame me for your mother's death. Cut to Duncan and Logan in Logan's bedroom (from 113 "Lord of the Bling"). LOGAN: They didn't find a body because she's not dead. Cut to Lynne's car abandoned on Coronado Bridge (from 112 "Clash of the Tritons"). VERONICA VOICEOVER: I guess I should be grateful that my mother didn't leave her car on a bridge. Cut to Veronica speaking to Logan at the door of the Mars' apartment (from 113 "Lord of the Bling"). VERONICA: Logan, what are you doing here? LOGAN: I want you to find my mother. End previously. Open in the outdoor area of Neptune High School. The camera pans round slowly against a babble of high school conversation, on subjects including a wrestler and Danielle Marcos who should have got a room. There is a large, gaily painted banner over the door into the school reading: Total Eclipse of the Heart. The camera finds Veronica, sitting at one of the tables. Sitting at right angles next to her is Logan. Veronica is inspecting a record she is holding in her hand. VERONICA: Your mom had fourteen credit cards in her name at the time of her disappearance. [Showing the paper to Logan, pointing to the reference] This is the only one that's been active. No-limit platinum card. LOGAN: [Examining it] Be my mom's weapon of choice. VERONICA: This is also the only one that is still registered under her maiden name, Lester. Maybe it's just a coincidence. LOGAN: Or maybe she's trying to hide, huh? Veronica nods. Logan expels his breath and gives a half smile as he looks away. Veronica has the record in her hands again. VERONICA: It's hard to know for sure. [Looking a another page] There's only been one purchase so far, a rental car. [Logan looks down at what she's found] There was no surveillance tape from the point of sale but I ordered a copy of the card holder's signature. It might take a couple of weeks. LOGAN: [Urgently] What kind of car? VERONICA: [Reading] Benz. Red� convertible. Logan takes this in. He reverts to gazing into the distance. Veronica isn't sure what else to say. VERONICA: I-I'll let you know if she strikes again. LOGAN: Yeah. Veronica has the record, grabs her shoulder bag and rises from the table. Logan sits back for a second, then follows. Cut to the school corridor. A large cutout is being carried across the screen. Behind it Logan and Veronica walk side by side. As the cutout clears the screen, Logan pulls up to a halt and turns to Veronica. LOGAN: Hey, Veronica, uh� Thanks for helping out with this. With a quick glance round, Logan puts his hand on Veronica's arm, kneads her arm a couple of times. Veronica looks up at him and is feeling the sympathy. VERONICA: [Nodding her head gently and smiling] I know what it's like. Logan stares at her for a moment, then returns the small smile, nods, then moves off, hands in pockets. Veronica marvels at the exchange with a smile and a shake of the head before heading into the room where the cutout was heading. It's a large room, the site of the dance advertised on the banner. People are moving chairs and decorations. Someone is up on a ladder. Duncan, with clipboard, is directing operations. DUNCAN: [To the girl up the ladder] Don't be stingy with the glitter. Remember. It's an eighties dance. Veronica, looking up at the decorations as she walks forward, comes into his field of vision. DUNCAN: You know, if I didn't know better, I'd swear I just saw my best friend [pointing out to the corridor] ask you [pointing at Veronica] to 'Total Eclipse of the Heart'. Duncan grins. VERONICA: [In her best breathless girlie speech] No, no one's asked. But I'm pining away by the phone waiting for that special boy to call. DUNCAN: Hm. [Playfully] You never know. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Come on, Duncan [as Duncan deals with something else]. You know as well as I do, my heart was totally eclipsed long ago. Flashback to long-haired Veronica and Duncan at a dance. They are dancing closely together, Veronica's hands on Duncan's neck and arm. "Just Another" by Peter Yorn, their song (from 101 "Pilot"). SONG: You and I, we're two of a kind VERONICA VOICEOVER: I mean, sure, once upon a time that special boy did call� SONG: I hate to say it, but you'll never relate VERONICA VOICEOVER: �and the spring dance was the crowning moment of my fairy tale-esque teen girl life. SONG: What makes you tick? It makes me smile... VERONICA VOICEOVER: But now I know better. It felt like love but maybe it was just- MEG: [Offscreen] Veronica! Just as they are about to kiss, Veronica is rudely dragged back to the present. Duncan is standing with her again. Meg races over. VERONICA: Hey! MEG: [Ignoring Duncan] Hey. I really need to talk to you. VERONICA: [To Duncan] Sorry, [taking Meg's arm in hers] girl emergency. Duncan shrugs with a 'no problem' gesture. VERONICA: What's up? As Veronica leads them away, Duncan gazes after them. MEG: [Grinning] I think I have a secret admirer. As Meg says this, Veronica's mobile starts ringing, She reaches into her back pocket to retrieve it. VERONICA: [Impressed] Ooohh. Veronica opens the phone and answers it as they continue walking. VERONICA: Hello. [Pause, then impatiently] Hello. [Another pause and Meg looks concerned] Oh hi, nice breathing. Yep, just keeps getting better and better. [To Meg] Has your secret admirer been calling you all week and hanging up without speaking? MEG: No. VERONICA: [Ending the call] Hmm, lucky you. So tell me about it. Flashback. It's dark. Meg, dressed in her cheerleader's outfit, is dozing on the bus. MEG: On our way back from our last away game, [waking at the sound of her phone] I got this weird text message. On Meg's display is written: I think UR kewl. MEG: So I looked around and saw two guys on their cell phones. [Considering a jock type at the front of the bus] Caz is always flirty with me but that guy would flirt with a trash can if it had boobs. [And then a quieter guy in the back] Then there was Martin. He's sweet but a little moony, if you know what I mean. Cut to the present. Veronica and Meg are now stopped outside the dance room. VERONICA: Or it could be some maladjusted freshman who likes to lurk outside your bedroom window with binoculars and a bag of pork rinds. Meg nods and giggles. MEG: [Begging, cheerfully] Come on, Veronica. You gotta help me find out who it is. This could turn out to be my soul mate. Veronica smile sceptically. Cut to Mars Investigations as Veronica enters the outer office. VERONICA VOICEOVER: When I've had my fill of soul mates, glitter and puppy love, I always find a private detective's office a refreshing change of pace. Veronica dumps her bag and peeks round at her father's office, the door of which is partially open. Keith has someone with him but rises from his desk. KEITH: Here's my assistant now. Keith comes out of his office, leaving the client there. KEITH: [Whispering, then quietly] Hi. I'm swamped with this insurance fraud thing but we could use this fee. Can you take her information, charge her a straight 75? Shouldn't take more than a half hour online. VERONICA: [Nodding] Sure. KEITH: Thanks. VERONICA VOICEOVER: [Grabbing her bag to get paper out] Nothing soothes the nausea, headache and occasional dizziness of a romance overdose like a glimpse of the aftermath. The custody battles, the affairs and� Veronica enters the office. There is a woman sitting opposite Keith's desk. Veronica heads round to sit at the desk. VERONICA: �what I'm guessing is a trophy wife looking for her golden parachute. KEITH: She'll take your info and I'll get right on it. Keith leaves. VERONICA: So, how can I help you� Miss� CATHERINE: [Distressed and with heavy Russian accent] Lenova, Cat-ta-rina Lenova. I made mistake. Involving love. I didn't know what a good thing I had and-and I lost him. You must help me find him. He was my soul mate. Veronica looks resigned. Opening credits. Camera is behind Veronica showing Catherine beyond the picture that Veronica holds in her hand. It is of a man kneeling down next to a dog. CATHERINE: Ah, zat's Tom. Veronica puts the photo down. CATHERINE: Two years ago I came here from Brask in Russia to meet zis man. VERONICA: Like a mail order bride thing? CATHERINE: Not mail anymore. Internet, um, we exchange message and, uh, I came to Chicago as his fianc�. VERONICA: [Taken aback] That's a brave move. CATHERINE: Not if you've seen Brask. [Laughs] All the boys there, as zey say, are beautiful, like a princess. Maybe I am expecting a prince. When I meet Tom, I am disappointed; he's not what I imagine. I-In his picture he was not, um, how you say� um� Catherine draws the flat of her hand a few inches above and over her head, back and forth and whistles and clicks trying to get the word. VERONICA: Bald. CATHERINE: Yes. Before we are married I had zee cold feet, so I, ah, I leave him after some time here, alone, I-I realise I made mistake. He is good man and he is gone. I look it but, but with him changing his name� VERONICA: [Alert] Why would he change his name? CATHERINE: He does plays in Chicago. H-He always talk about come to California, be an actor. VERONICA: What's wrong with Tom? CATHERINE: To- oh, his last name, ah, c-r-u-z. I-I guess it's too much like zat actor, you know� Tom� VERONICA: Cruise. Yes, I see the problem. Ah, what makes you think he's here? CATHERINE: Za last I hear from him, several months back iz zis postcard. The title of the postcard is 'Surfing - California Style'. It bears a Neptune postmark dated Feb 2005. VERONICA: [Reading the handwriting] "Catherine, Thank you for the good days, but I need to move on. I won't be in touch again." [Pointing at the postmark but missing the date] Postmarked Neptune, California. All right, well this shouldn't be too hard. Ah, $75 and Mr Mars should have something for you in a couple of days. Cut to the Mars' apartment. Wallace is in the background, sitting on the couch and watching TV. Veronica is in the foreground, using the laptop which is set up on the counter in the kitchen. VERONICA: [Exasperated] How hard can it be to find an actor named Tom Cruz? WALLACE: Tom Cruise? Not as good a private eye as I thought. VERONICA: No. C-R-U-� never mind. OK [lowering the laptop cover], I'm hanging out. [She flounces down in the armchair] Hey, you're on the basketball team, right? WALLACE: You obviously haven't seen us play. I am the basketball team. VERONICA: Can you do something for me? WALLACE: [Not best pleased] You just stopped hanging out again. VERONICA: It's a favour for Meg. She's got this secret admirer; he's been text messaging her. You know Caz and Martin on the team? [Wallace nods] How 'bout you sneak a peek at their cell phones and see if they dial Meg's number? WALLACE: [Exasperated himself] What is it with you girls and your girly-girl drama? What are you now? A love detective? VERONICA: Wallace, [leaning over to him] if you do this for me, we'll be best friends forever. [Pleading] Come on, don't you want us to be BFF? WALLACE: [Resigned] All right, all right. But the next time we hang out, you gotta actually hang out. Wallace downs a large potato crisp and returns his attention to the TV. Veronica smiles widely in fond triumph. Cut to the school. It is day. Veronica rounds a corner by a heart shaped wall decoration. She stops, surprised. Meg, wearing her cheerleader gear, has a rather stunning bouquet sticking out of her locker which she is smelling. VERONICA: Secret admirer strikes again and the plot thickens. MEG: [Holding up a card that says GO!, with a grin] He wants me to go to the dance. Veronica grabs the card. MEG: I'm dying to know who it is. VERONICA: [Examining one of the flowers] Purple faced monkey orchid. Native to the King Leopold range in the Australian outback. My deduction? [With dramatic mystery] Your secret admirer is an aboriginal tribesman� MEG: Uh-huh. [Laughs] VERONICA: �who shops [holding up the card] at Manny's Flower Hut. Veronica pockets the card and gets out her cell, lining up to take a picture. MEG: Uh-huh. What are you doing? VERONICA: In the detective business, we call this a clue. MEG: What about the text messages? VERONICA: I've got my best man on it. Cut to Wallace lounging, playing a game on his phone, in a nearly empty bus. As soon as the last two leave, Wallace darts up and searches one of the kit bags. Cut to outside where Meg is walking up towards the bus, arm in arm with another cheerleader. Caz diverts her from her colleague by putting a hand on her arm. CAZ: Ah, Meg, Meg. I'm actually, uh, throwing a rage at my house tomorrow night and it should be pretty kick-ass. Wallace is still searching the bag and pulls out a jock strap. As he holds it out distastefully� CAZ: Hey dude! What the hell are you doing? Wallace is at a loss. Cut back to Veronica's desk at Mars Investigations. Catherine is there seated opposite her. VERONICA: Miss Lenova, Mr Mars was unable to find any trace of Tom. I'm really sorry. CATHERINE: Iz zere nothing more he can do? VERONICA: Well, he's done all the routine searches, um, you could hire him full time, it's $250 a day, plus expenses. CATHERINE: [Opening her handbag] I pay, whatever it takes. VERONICA: Mr Mars is the best in the business. [Catherine writes a cheque] So can you tell me anything else about him? CATHERINE: He just� zis wonderful man. He-he not the most handsome or-or rich but he-he's sweet and-and-and kind and-and, oh he make me laugh. [Laughs] VERONICA: I actually meant, um, like his hobbies or interests, details like that, other than acting. CATHERINE: He like da, um, hockies. Um, I-er, he play guitar but not very well. Um, he like-he like detective movies. Uhh, Chinese food, da, like that? VERONICA: Like that. Veronica makes a note whilst Catherine finishes writing the cheque and tears it from the book. CATHERINE: Please. [Passing the cheque] Ask Mr Mars to work as fast as he can. VERONICA: I'm sure he'll come through. Cut to later. Catherine is gone. Veronica is on the phone. VERONICA: [In New Yorkish accent] Hi, I'm looking to place a casting notice and I need this filled as soon as possible. I'm looking for an ordinary guy type, medium height and build, dark hair and a little thin on top and he must be able to play hockey and play the guitar. [Pause] Right. And here's the fax number you can send those headshots. Cut back to the apartment. A photo is printing from the fax machine but it is not Tom Cruz. Veronica is standing over the fax, waiting for it to complete. There's a sharp knock at the front door and it opens before Veronica gets to it. It's Wallace. She smiles at him briefly and returns her attention to the faxed photo. Wallace is not happy and drops his bag on the small coffee table. WALLACE: About this secret mission. VERONICA: What'cha got? WALLACE: [Crossly] A reputation as a jock-sniffer. You can be your own FF. I'm retired. [Of a number of faxed photos spread over the kitchen counter] What's all this? VERONICA: Casting call for Tom Cruz with a zee. Apparently, he has changed his name. Somehow (iffy edit) Wallace has picked up the photo of Tom and the dog and is looking at it. WALLACE: Damn, this dog is a freak show. [Flipping it to show Veronica] He oughta be in show biz. Veronica grabs it and looks more carefully. VERONICA: You think that's some kind of rare breed or something? WALLACE: That or a drunk dingo had a three-way with an ocelot and a porcupine. Veronica's mobile rings. She puts down the photo, grabs the phone and sits at the counter. VERONICA: Hold that thought. [Checking the text message.] Hello, no-limit platinum card. WALLACE: How many cases you working on here, Rockford? Veronica is pulling up some information on her laptop. She spots something. VERONICA: Twelve hundred bucks? Veronica dials a number on her cell. LOGAN'S VOICEMAIL: This is Logan with today's inspirational greeting: the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams [Veronica rolls her eyes] - Eleanor Roosevelt. Leave a message. VERONICA: Hey. Call me when you get this. There's been another charge on your mom's credit card� at the Sunset Regent. Veronica terminates the call, deep in thought. Cut to Logan, in the lobby of the hotel, just at the long end of a pace. He huffs in impatience. Veronica arrives from behind him, running up all girlie. VERONICA: [Loudly] I know I'm late. Sorry, honey. She stretches up and plants a kiss on his cheek. Logan is taken aback. VERONICA: [Softly] So I talked to this guy on the phone. Let me handle it, he's a bit prickly. Veronica grabs Logan's arm and marches him up to the hotel receptionist's counter. HOTEL RECEPTIONIST: [British and pompous with it] May I help you? VERONICA: You may. My fianc� and I are looking for a honeymoon suite. HOTEL RECEPTIONIST: [Smarmy and insincere] Oh, how wonderful. [Bringing out some pictures] These are our more affordable packages. The rooms run $350 for a courtyard and $450 for poolside. On the weekends of course, it's a two night minimum. VERONICA: Of course. Here's a little bit more what I had in mind. Veronica, sporting a huge, sparkling, engagement ring, pulls a wedding album out of her bag. It is stuffed full of pictures taken from magazines. She flicks through. VERONICA: �just� Logan is appalled and impressed. LOGAN: Wow, sugarpuss, you've certainly been a busy little bee. [They giggle at each other, then to the receptionist,] Ah, she's a keeper. HOTEL RECEPTIONIST: [Taking much more interest now] Um, these are our luxury suites. He produces a file with better pictures and hands it to Veronica. She flicks through that. VERONICA: Ooh. Nope. No. Uh, ick. [Pointing to the one she was looking for] Well, how much is this one? HOTEL RECEPTIONIST: Ah, yes. Our Princess Suite. Twelve hundred a night. It has a hot tub, 360 degree view and, um, private elevator access. VERONICA: [To Logan] Ah, yummy... LOGAN: [Hope makes him almost unintelligible] Yeah. VERONICA: [Touching his arm] Let's take a look, hon. HOTEL RECEPTIONIST: I apologise but the suite's currently occupied. VERONICA: Like literally occupied, because we could just poke our heads in. HOTEL RECEPTIONIST: Um. I'm sorry but our guest has insisted on her privacy. LOGAN: [Convinced he's found his mother] Could we maybe just call up to the room? HOTEL RECEPTIONIST: [Obsequious] Oh, I'm afraid that's not possible. I-I assure you we will afford you the same privacy, should you choose to stay with us. VERONICA: [Smiling but defeated] Hmm. Veronica collects her 'wedding book' and she and Logan head for one of the plush couches. VERONICA: All right, stay put. I gonna go talk to the maintenance guys. LOGAN: No, I think I can handle it from here. VERONICA: No, I can get them to unlock the service elevator and we can just- LOGAN: Naw, I've got a better idea. I'll just sit right here. [Sits on a couch in view of the lifts] Until my mother walks out of that elevator. Veronica sees he is determined and is sympathetic. VERONICA VOICEOVER: As a plan, a bit low concept for my taste, but Logan seems primed for a stake-out and I've got a pair of elusive Romeos to track down. Cut to the picture of Meg's flowers on Veronica's cell. MANNY: [Offscreen] Yeah, I-I believe I do recognise my handiwork� The camera shifts to show a man holding Veronica's phone. Manny appears to have been smoking some of what he has been growing. He looks like a cross between an old biker and an old hippie and talks, or rather growls, like an old surfer dude who got hit in the head on the big waves once too often. Throughout, he is eager to please. MANNY: �yeah, yeah. He closes and returns the phone to Veronica. VERONICA: You maybe� remember who bought it? MANNY: Yeah, yeah. Unusual order. Most kids order straight up, like roses and baby's breath. No damn imagination. But this kid, he, you know, he's thinking outside the box, you know. VERONICA: I-I mean, what he looked like. MANNY: Ah, ha, yeah, right. He's not a bad looking kid. Kinda medium sized, you know. He's got that look, you know, that� [Manny does a sort of clueless robot geek move difficult to describe] � look, you know. VERONICA: [Confused] What look? MANNY: [Repeats it] You know, kinda that, duh, high school kid look. VERONICA: [None the wiser] OK. Uh, thanks a bunch, Manny MANNY: Yeah Cut to Wallace looking in a dog encyclopedia. WALLACE: Mexican hairless. What's the point of having a dog if it's bald? What are you gonna pet? Skin? As the camera pulls back and around, he and Veronica are at her desk at Mars Investigations. VERONICA: [Firmly] Stay on task, Wallace. The phone rings. Veronica answers. VERONICA: Mars Investigations. Cut to Keith in his car. KEITH: Hey, honey. Why did I just get a voicemail from this Russian woman asking how I'm doing with her case? I thought you dealt with that. Cut back to Veronica who is at her laptop. KEITH: [Offscreen, on telephone] My plate is full with this insurance fraud thing. VERONICA: Uh, I'm still dealing. [She's uploaded the picture of Tom and the dog and is enlarging it.] Turns out it was a little more complicated. KEITH: [Offscreen, on telephone] Veronica. Don't waste your time on this. If the computer search� Cut back to Keith. KEITH: �didn't do it then just tell her we're too busy. Cut back to Veronica who is continually to enlarge the photo, centring on the dog's collar. VERONICA: She agreed to the daily rate and we can always use the money. I mean, wouldn't it be cool to have glasses in the kitchen that didn't have the Hamburglar on them? Wallace chuckles. KEITH: [Offscreen, on telephone] Forget about the money. VERONICA: I just thought it would be nice if, instead of breaking people up, we brought them together for once. In the photo, Tom is fingering a tag on the dog's collar. Veronica enlarges more and more to read the tag. KEITH: [Offscreen, on telephone] Honey, we're private investigators, not the frigging Love Boat. VERONICA: Dad, I'm almost there, I just need to track down� One final enlargement and she's got it. VERONICA: Steve! KEITH: [Offscreen, on telephone] Steve? That's our guy? VERONICA: No, Steve's a dog. Wallace has found the breed in one of the books and holds it up for Veronica to see. WALLACE: It's a Catahoula Leopard dog. Cut to Keith. KEITH: Who the hell names a dog Steve? Cut to Veronica. VERONICA: Tom Cruz? Cut back to Keith who crumples in his seat. KEITH: [Shaking his head.] Don't forget. You're a high school girl. Do some high school girl things now and then. Cut to Veronica. VERONICA: Relax, Dad. I'm cutting pictures of Ashton out of Teen People as we speak. Cut to Keith. He spots a man in a neck brace walking along the street. KEITH: You better be. Gotta run sweetie. Keith closes up his cell and watches the man as he licks his ice cream. Keith gets out of the car to follow the man. Two men in another car watch him. Cut to Veronica. She has a list of specialist dog vets open and is going through them. TELEPHONE: Exotic Animals Hospital. VERONICA: I'm calling about a Catahoula Leopard dog named Steve. TELEPHONE: Uh, nope, not here. VERONICA: Sorry. TELEPHONE: Pet Hospital. VERONICA: Hi, I'm calling about a Catahoula Leopard dog named Steve. TELEPHONE: Brought in last week? VERONICA: Yes! Right. Uh, I met Steve on a dog beach a while back and, well, I have a Leopard dog, Lulu and I was looking to breed her and it seemed like she and Steve has some real chemistry. Ah, I know you probably wouldn't give me the owner's name and number but I was wondering if you might call him and see if he would talk to me? My name is Veronica, you can reach me at- TELEPHONE: We've got caller ID. VERONICA: Caller ID. How do we ever get by? Thanks. Veronica looks up at the clock on the wall. It is 4:07. She grabs her cell and dials. VERONICA: Hey Meg, it's Veronica. Would you mind leaving a little early for the party so I can make a stop. [Pauses to listen] No, nothing major. [Pauses again and the other phone rings.] Ok, I gotta run. I'll see ya. Hello? TELEPHONE: Sorry, the dog's owner said no. VERONICA: Oh, I see. Well, it was a long shot anyway. Thanks. Veronica and Meg are entering the Sheriff's Department. VERONICA: This'll just take a minute. MEG: I still don't understand what we're even doing here. Veronica does a um-um cough to get Leo's attention. He's on the phone. He waves and Meg gets it. MEG: Ah-ha. It all seems clear now. [She smiles] VERONICA: [Protesting] This is just business. MEG: [Not believing a word of it] Ah-huh. Veronica leaves Meg and walks to Leo's desk just as me puts down the phone. LEO: Miss Mars. You have something else to confess? Leo is smiling broadly as he walks to the front of his desk and leans on it. VERONICA: I'm just here for a little favour. What is that? Veronica points. On a clipboard attached to a pillar, there is a sketch of Veronica, with horns. LEO: Oh, we have the sketch artist up from San Diego. Meg is observing all of this carefully. LEO: Figured I'd test him out. He's not bad. VERONICA: I don't have horns. LEO: [Checking] Yeah, I guess not. Memory really plays tricks on people. A man comes from round the pillar. KARL: Hey, Veronica. VERONICA: Hey Karl. KARL: Long time, no see. What do ya think? He points proudly at his sketch of her. VERONICA: Um, it's great. I finally feel [with air quotes] wanted. KARL: Right. Say hi to your dad for me. VERONICA: [To Leo] I'm just here for a little favour. You guys can get phone records, right? LEO: We can get anything. We're cops. Pine Veterinary Clinic? VERONICA: I need to know what numbers they called between four and four ten today. LEO: [Reluctant] I don't know, Veronica. VERONICA: Leo, there is a long and proud history of mutual back scratching between cops and private dicks. LEO: So when do you scratch my back? VERONICA: Well maybe I'll see you tonight when you and Sacks bust this party we're going to. She spins round and walks away. LEO: I'm looking forward to it. She looks back smiling and then joins Meg go on their way. MEG: My, Veronica, he totally wants to serve and protect you. VERONICA: Please Meg. We're looking for your man tonight. MEG: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Cut to a party. The music is "Waiting" by Taxi Doll. Veronica and Meg enter. VERONICA: OK, the game is afoot. They walk in and Meg removes her sweater. They look around. VERONICA: Nice house. Caz comes up behind them. CAZ: Oh, you like? MEG: Your folks must be really laid back. Caz is standing next to a portrait of a middle-aged couple. He looks at it and back at the girls. CAZ: Oh, these aren't actually my parents. This isn't my house house. CAZ: It's one of the model homes in my old man's cheesy new sub-division. SONG: Remember when I looked at you with a frown And then you showed me your crown and make me smile Veronica and Meg exchange a look. CAZ: But would you girls like a drink? SONG: I wouldn't sing for all the courage and tears Caz escorts them to the heart of the party. MEG: Umm, I'm fine. CAZ: Yeah, you are super-fine. Caz accompanies this comment with a finger-gun. SONG: And I've forgotten how fierce it felt to fly. VERONICA: A soda? CAZ: You know, I think we're fresh out but, um� SONG: Another road that gently bends at our feet Has given up to the street, we are making a ride. Caz points to the beer on tap. Meg follows him to the beer while Veronica hangs back and watches. CAZ: So did you get a chance to go to the game last night? SONG: You know I've been waiting way too long, so long MEG: I was cheering. On the sidelines. SONG: I've been waiting alone MEG: Because [with air quotes] I am cool. SONG: For this I've been waiting much too long, so long CAZ: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally spaced. SONG: And now the waiting is done. Caz turns back to brag with some people behind him. CAZ: Hey, remember when I jammed it over that Long Beach party guard? Meg looks back at Veronica. A little longingly, like 'get me out of here'. CAZ: Knocked his wreck-specs off! As Caz high-fives with his mate, he spills her beer all over Meg's dress. She gasps. CAZ: [Burping] Sorry. SONG: Remember when I took your handful of hope You showed me how to provoke more in this world. I can't explain, you answered more than a prayer Meg heads to the kitchen area to try and repair the damage. Martin is propped up against the counter. She looks in a cupboard for something to wipe it off with. MARTIN: You won't find anything in those cupboards� SONG: You put a smile in my ear, a simple thought to attain. MARTIN: �it's a fake house. MEG: Uh, right. MARTIN: So I see you got Caz's little game recap, huh. SONG: Now we go our veins are running with start MEG: Yeah, like all over me. SONG: And you have given me heart, we're doing it right. Martin hands her a balled up sweater. MEG: Oh, no, no, no. I don't want to ruin your sweater. MARTIN: No, it's not mine, it's Caz's. Go crazy. SONG: You know I've been waiting way too long, so long VERONICA: [Offscreen] Hey Martin� Veronica comes forward to take the opportune moment. VERONICA: Can I borrow your cell phone? MARTIN: Sure. Martin give Veronica his phone. She walks off, immediately trying to see if he called Meg. SONG: I've been waiting alone For this I've been waiting much too long, so long The display warns that the battery is low and that the phone is powering off now. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Oh, you have got to be kidding me. DUNCAN: [Offscreen] Hey. Duncan comes into view. DUNCAN: Do you know what's going on with Logan? SONG: And now the waiting is done. VERONICA: What do you mean? SONG: And so you are bringing back something that I have learned DUNCAN: Well, he's camped out in a hotel lobby in LA. VERONICA: How do you know that? SONG: What've I've been missing all along. DUNCAN: I just talked to him. VERONICA: He's still there? SONG: And baby you know you've got and I will give you what I have VERONICA: Uh, I'll take care of it. Veronica leaves Duncan standing and a bit perplexed. She heads back to Martin. VERONICA: Martin. See tosses his phone and he juggles to get hold of it. Veronica heads for the exit and is intercepted by Meg. SONG: MEG: There you are. Did you find out anything? I'm totally confused. Ok. Granted, I would look good on Caz's arm but do you have anything available in sensitive or charming. VERONICA: I can check in the back. MEG: Good. VERONICA: Um-hmm. SONG: You know I've been waiting way too long, so long VERONICA: I'm so sorry Meg, I have to run. Can you find a ride home? MEG: Yeah, I'll be fine. SONG: I've been waiting alone Veronica hurries to the door but stops and turns back and points at Meg. VERONICA: [Superfly style] No, you'll be super-fine. MEG: Oh. SONG: For this I've been waiting much too long, so long Meg pulls the finger-gun and click-clicks with her tongue. Veronica goes and Meg looks round, a little worried. Cut to the Sunset Regent in LA. Logan hasn't moved and is sprawled out on the couch. A lift bell sounds and time speeds up as people pass and use the lifts. Logan has on leg up on the coffee table and is leaning against some pillows, with another blanketing his legs. Legs of a different sort approach him. HOTEL RECEPTIONIST: I'm sorry. But the lobby's reserved for hotel guests only. (Eek, bad continuity moment as Logan is now in a different places on the couch and bounces between the two different shots) Logan hardly registers the man. Without taking his eyes off the lifts, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a credit card. LOGAN: So book me a room, Jeeves. The receptionist takes the card. LOGAN: Bring me a room service menu while you're at it. Veronica arrives in the lobby and sees him. She signs. She walks over and sits on the coffee table in front of him. He barely registers her presence. She sighs heavily. VERONICA: You know you can't sit here forever. [Getting her phone] What do you say we smoke her out. [On mobile] I'd like to report my card lost. My name is Lynn Lester. Cut to later. Veronica is now sitting on the couch next to Logan, who is looking down at his loosely clenched hands. A lift bell is heard but Logan, presumably weary of disappointment, doesn't look up. Veronica does and pats his arm and points. A woman's leg and back are seen. She's wearing a black coat, hat and sunglasses. She goes to reception. LOGAN: That's her. Logan rises from the couch. LOGAN: Mom? Logan rushes towards the woman. She turns around and removes her sunglasses. It's not Lynn. TRINA: Oh, hey, Logan. Veronica has come up behind Logan. She keeps her distance. TRINA: Did you just call me Mom? You okay, brother? [Matter of factly] You know Mom's gone, right? LOGAN: Wow. You're supposed to be in Australia. TRINA: Yeah, well that didn't work out. [Sees Veronica] Veronica, hey! VERONICA: [Uncomfortably] Hello, Trina. TRINA: So, is the whole brat pack here? What is this, like, like, prom night. You guys get a room here for some after-party. [Conspiratorially] Oh, hey. Oh. I've been kinda outta the loop lately. Are you two- LOGAN: Stop! You shut up. You're wearing Mom's clothes, you're wearing Mom's hat. TRINA: She was your mom, my step-mom. The lady who liked to parade though the house in a string bikini, whenever I had a boy over. LOGAN: Yeah, well to be fair when didn't you have a boy over. TRINA: Oh, you� Trina leans forward to slap her brother, he blocks it with his hand. LOGAN: Dad could've used you there. TRINA: [Laughs] So now you're worried about Dad's welfare. Isn't he the big bad wolf? Logan shakes his head and mouths "No" to his sister but she ignores him and presses on. TRINA: Cigarette burns and broken noses. Oh, the stories you used to tell. Veronica is troubled by this. LOGAN: Wow, we should get together and do this more often. TRINA: Yeah, well, you're in luck. I'm heading home now. I guess some accountant finally cancelled Mom's cards. LOGAN: But if you're coming home, who will play Dead Hooker Number Two on CSI this week. How will you get your attention fix? TRINA: Maybe I can be the ring girl at one of your bum fights. As they get really bitchy with each other, Veronica steps forward to intervene. She grabs Logan, steps around him to put herself in between and addresses Logan. VERONICA: You know what? Shall we get going, Logan? Logan is still staring at his sister and not responsive to Veronica. Trina gets all girlie friendly. TRINA: Veronica, look at you. All grown up. Hey, we should hang out when I'm in town. VERONICA: OK. Yeah. Logan, come on. Let's go. Veronica leads him away. TRINA: See ya guys. Drive safe. Trina turns momentarily to reception and then walks away. Logan turns to watch her and Veronica tries to lead him away again. He doesn't resist when she grabs his arm and pulls him round. He shakes his head as they take a couple more steps and then breaks down. They stop. Logan leans forward with his hands on his thighs. Veronica is concerned and uncertain what to do. Logan cries, Veronica clears her throat. She pats his back as he stands up again but he can't stay there and leans down again. Veronica's hand is on his back, rubbing. Logan leans into Veronica. LOGAN: She� Logan's head rests against Veronica's breast and she brings her other arm around his head and cradles it. There's a bit of a rough cut to Logan, now clutching Veronica who holds his head close to her and rubs his back. She nearly loses her balance as Logan goes down on his knees but she doesn't change her hold. He weeps. LOGAN: She's gone. She's gone. Veronica makes soothing noises although she is not comfortable with the situation, her face registering a mixture of sympathy and shock. Cut to Keith, driving and speaking on his cell. KEITH: Yep, I got some pictures. Mr Neckbrace with a former lawyer, Joe Allen, who was disbarred last year for repping a fake accident ring. As he listens, Keith sees the same car that contains the men who were watching him earlier in his rear view mirror. KEITH: Hey, you got any other guys working this case, maybe drives a silver Chevy? I keep seeing it behind me. No, no, no, it's nothing. So I'll send the pictures when I get back. Okay. Bye. Keith pulls into a hotel with valet parking. The valet opens his door. VALET#1: Good morning sir. KEITH: Hey. Thank you. The valet gives him his ticket and Keith walks quickly into the hotel. The silver Chevy pulls up at the hotel and are seen by a second valet. Two mean looking men get out. VALET#2: Here you are sir. The two men take their ticket and approach the entrance. They split up to look for Keith. He watches and evades them, then goes back out to the car park. The second valet has just parked it and walked away. He jemmies their car and quickly gets into the driver's seat although he leaves the door open. He looks around the car then reaches over and opens the glove compartment. He finds what looks like travel documents. Cut to Keith approaching his car valet. He laughs out loud. KEITH: The wrong place I guess. You know which hotel has the medical supplies convention? VALET#1: Um-um KEITH: Nah, anyway. I'll just take the keys� one right there. Thanks. Have a good day. Keith heads for his car, punching a number in his cell as he goes. VALET#1: You too, sir. KEITH: Hey, it's Keith Mars. I got a name check to run. [Consulting his notebook] Yevgeni Sukarenko, all right? Cut to Manny's flower shop. Veronica and Karl, the sketch artist are rounding the corner. VERONICA: Thanks for doing this, Karl. KARL: Yeah, no problem. Manny is at a table, planting up. KARL: Is this the guy? VERONICA: This is Manny. Manny, this is Karl. He's gonna help you with your� recall problems. MANNY: [Not optimistic] Yeah, good luck. KARL: [Holding out his hand] Don't worry, Manny, I'm a professional. Karl thinks better of it as Manny, being dirty, is reluctant to take his hand. KARL: Right. [To Veronica] I'll fax the results to your place. VERONICA: [Leaving] I owe you one. Cut to Veronica entering Mars Investigations as her cell rings. Veronica checks caller ID before answering. [SCENE_BREAK] VERONICA: Well if it isn't my local policeman. LEO: You got a pen handy? VERONICA: Always. What do ya got? LEO: Three outgoing calls between Pine Veterinary between four and four ten. I got a Fred Ellis, John Frampton and a Carla Stern. Veronica writes them down. VERONICA: You're a prince, Leo. LEO: Yeah, I'm writing that down. VERONICA: I'll talk to ya later. Cut to Veronica looking at the photo of Tom and the dog as she watches a house in a wet street from her car. VERONICA VOICEOVER: So it seems that saying about people resembling their pets is true. Fred Ellis was as old and droopy as his Basset Hound and single mother, Carla Stern was a dead ringer for her Pomeranian. Two strikes. So it all comes down to John Frampton bearing a slight resemblance to his� The dog from the photo exits the house first. VERONICA: �Catahoula Leopard Dog. Veronica gets her camera ready. A man follows the dog out. It's Tom Cruz. Veronica snaps away, checks the viewfinder and gives a satisfied smile. Cut to Veronica at Mars Investigations. She has the photos on her laptop and is looking at them as she is on the phone. VERONICA: Catherine? It's Veronica in Mr Mars' office. It's good news. He found Tom. CATHERINE: [Offscreen, on telephone] Veronica, thank you. It's a miracle. VERONICA: You have a pen? CATHERINE: [Offscreen, on telephone] Of course, please. VERONICA: So the address is- Keith hurries to the desk and cuts Veronica off. VERONICA: Dad, what are you doing? Keith holds up a picture of the woman she knows as Catherine Lenova. KEITH: This isn't Catherine Lenova. It's Yellana Sukarenko. [Holding up two more pictures] Yevgeni and Sergei Sukarenko, Russian mob from Chicago. Anthony Thomas Cruz worked for their father. Turned State's evidence and put him away. He's not a long lost love, Veronica. He's in the witness protection programme. Veronica looks stunned. The phone rings. She stares from it to her father. Cut to moments later. The phone is still ringing. KEITH: Just like we said. VERONICA: Mars Investi- Catherine. I'm sorry, I got excited and dropped the phone. [She clears her throat] You still have your pen? Okay, the address is [reading from a post-it as Keith sits on the desk in support] 124 Driftwood Terrace. [Pauses to listen] Right. [Pauses again] Of course. [And again] It's no problem. [And one last time] Buh-bye. KEITH: It's good work, honey. Veronica seems sad. VERONICA: So, what's gonna happen? KEITH: Don't worry. I'll take care of it from here. Keith slides off the desk and heads out as Veronica is contemplative. Cut to the Sukarenko brothers leaving their car in a suburban area. They enter the house they have parked in front of. The house is empty of furniture but they hear a blender or ice dispenser. As they make their way in, armed, they pass the portrait of the middle-aged couple. This is the same house as the Caz held his party. They get to the kitchen and see a man who is looking in the refrigerator. They point their guns at the man who face is hidden behind the door of the fridge. YEVGENI SUKARENKO: Do svidaniya, Mr Cruz. It's Keith. KEITH: [Cheerfully] Oh! Prevet! There's the sound of running feet. The men are surprised. LEO: [Offscreen] Put down� Leo comes into view, pointing his gun at them. He is wearing a bullet proof vest. LEO: �your guns, now. [As other deputies arrive from concealment around the house] Get your hands on your head, get your hands on your head. The men are disarmed. As Leo puts his gun back in its holster, he looks at Keith. LEO: Prevet? KEITH: It's Russian for hi. I looked it up. Cut to Veronica opening the door to the apartment. It's Meg. She is dressed as Molly Ringwald's character in the prom scene in "Pretty In Pink". She is carrying another outfit on some hangers in one hand and what looks to be a heavy carrier bag and a wrist corsage in the other. MEG: Hey! VERONICA: Meg, I am so sorry. She comes in and sets down the bag. MEG: What for? VERONICA: I told you I was gonna find your secret admirer before the dance and I haven't come through, I� it's just been a million other things I've been working on� MEG: [Putting down the outfit] Forget it, forget it. I don't even care anymore. Meg is still carrying a wrist corsage. MEG: Oh, here. She puts it down on the counter between them. MEG: You can have it. It's the flowers he sent me. Supposed to be our signal tonight or something. VERONICA: Thought you were excited about it. MEG: Truth is, I'm not sure I wanna go out with Caz. And Martin's nice but not� I just don't want to hurt his feelings. VERONICA: Hmm. How come you're all dolled up. MEG: Now who says I need a date to go to the dance. VERONICA: Oh. Right. You� go girl. MEG: I'm taking you. She points at Veronica, grins and giggles. Veronica looks a little stunned. "Euro Trash Girl" plays as camera cuts to later. In Veronica's closet, she is dressed and her hair is crimped. Meg is spraying copious amounts of hair spray. Veronica is early Madonna. MEG: Okay. Veronica coughs from the hairspray. Meg adds a bit more for good measure. Veronica moves into her room as Meg chases her with the hairspray. MEG: Well, what do you think? VERONICA: I look like Manilla Whore Barbie. MEG: Hmm. VERONICA: Oh. The fax machine rings and Veronica runs to the living room leaving Meg stranded with her hair spray. MEG: No, no. Where are you going? Don't you dare run away on me. VERONICA: Just business. Veronica waits by the fax. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Come on, lover boy. Show us your face. She collects the fax, looks at it and her face drops. Meg comes into the living room. MEG: What is it? VERONICA: Nothing. Veronica folds the fax. VERONICA: Come on, let's go. We're gonna be late. Veronica and Meg hurry out but the camera pans down to the fax that Veronica has slipped into the bin. It is a sketch of Duncan. Cut to the dance. People are tawdry. It's eighties gear. Veronica and Meg stand in the middle of it all, bemused. The music is "One Thing Leads to Another" by the Fixx. SONG: The deception with tact, just what are you trying to say? MEG: Wow. Eighties fashion. SONG: You've got a blank face, which irritates MEG: Grody to the max. VERONICA: Don't spaz. SONG: Communicate, pull out your party piece VERONICA: Aren't you totally stoked to go to this thing. MEG: Oh, for sure. SONG: You see dimensions in two MEG: I just didn't know the dance would be such a major couple-o-rama. VERONICA: What happened to all the girl power? SONG: State your case with black or white VERONICA: The we-don't-need-dates resolve. SONG: But when one little cross leads to shots, grit your teeth MEG: Reality has set in. Forgive me, gal pal. I'm weak. SONG: You run for cover so discreet, why don't they: Do what they say, say what you mean One thing leads to another You told me something wrong, I know I listen too long But then one thing leads to another. Meg smiles and Veronica looks at her with affection. She makes the decision. She takes the corsage out of her bag and slips it onto Meg's wrist. MEG: What are you doing? VERONICA: You'll thank me later. Veronica turns around and goes to leave the room. Meg calls after her. MEG: Where are you going? VERONICA: My work here is done. MEG: But you'll miss your big surprise. VERONICA: I'll live. The Fixx gives way to Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time". SONG: Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick and think of you Caught up in circles confusion - is nothing new Veronica carries on and Meg smiles as she watches her go. Veronica turns around and gestures with her head for Meg to look behind her. Meg does. Duncan is dressed as Duckie from "Pretty In Pink" and smiles at her. Meg looks back at Veronica. It is a questioning look. Veronica continues to smile, passively. Duncan holds out his hand to Meg. DUNCAN: Would you care to dance? SONG: Flashback - warm nights - almost left behind Meg takes his hand. She looks back at Veronica one last time, mixed concern and gratitude then disappears into the dancing couples. Veronica's smile fades. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Between getting fooled by the Russian bride and finding out that Duncan has the hots for Meg, SONG: The drum beats out of time - VERONICA VOICEOVER: I've had my fill of surprises tonight. SONG: If you're lost you can look - and you will find me time after time If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting time after time She appears to hold back a sob as her twists round and exits rapidly. She is on the verge of tears. She heads for her car. VERONICA VOICEOVER: J Geils was right. Love stinks. You can dress it up with sequins and shoulder pads but one way or another you're just gonna end up alone at the spring dance strapped into uncomfortable underwear. SONG: You said go slow - I fall behind the second hand unwinds - Veronica, alone in her car, lets go and sobs. A figure appears at the side of the car and knocks on the window. It's Leo. Veronica opens the door. LEO: What's wrong, Veronica? SONG: If you're lost you can look - and you will find me time after time If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting time after time He hands her a corsage. She takes it, smiles weakly and gets out of the car. LEO: Are you ready for a� a total eclipse of the heart? SONG: If you're lost you can look - and you will find me time after time Smile widens as she appreciates the corsage. Cut to the dance. Now it's Spandau Ballet with "True". SONG: Huh huh huh hu-uh huh I know this much is true Huh huh huh hu-uh huh Meg and Duncan are dancing close together. Leo and Veronica join the couple-o-rama. Veronica puts her arms around Leo's neck. LEO: You look beautiful. SONG: I know this much is true With a thrill in my head and a pill on my tongue dissolve the nerves that have just begun Listening to Marvin (all night long) This is the sound of my soul� Veronica smiles and they dance. Veronica looks over at Duncan and Meg. Meg's head rests on Duncan's chest. Veronica returns her attention to Leo. Duncan opens his eyes and looks over at Veronica. He watches as Leo's hands stroke Veronica's waist. His expression is difficult to read and after a moment, he returns to Meg. Both couples dance. Logan, drunk and trouserless in his guise as the Tom Cruise character in "Risky Business" appears on the stage. He's also wearing sunglasses. He is boorish to the max. LOGAN: I love the eighties. LEO: Heads up. Risky business at 12:00 SONG: This is the sound Logan takes the short jump off the plinth and tries to rally support. LOGAN: Come on everyone. Let's wang chung tonight. SONG: Always slipping from my hands, Being a coupley affair and a slow number, nobody's interested and they start complaining. LOGAN: What, everybody wang chung tonight. SONG: Sand's a time of its own Duncan and Meg have stopped dancing, as have many others, watching Logan make a fool of himself. He is starting to get aggressive and getting aggression back. LOGAN: Wang chung or I'll kick your ass. Everybody! [Logan loses the humous and gets tetchy] Don't touch me, dude. SONG: Take your seaside arms and write the next line Oh I want the truth to be known Huh huh huh� He stumbles out of the room. LEO: Every class has one. VERONICA: I cannot escape Tom Cruise. Veronica and Leo follow him out. Cut to the corridor. Veronica and Logan are fumbling as Leo observes. VERONICA: Come on Logan, just give me your keys. Leo, can you follow us in your car? Leo nods as Veronica searches Logan for his keys and he twists away, as far as he can as Veronica has him up against a door. LOGAN: No. No! No. No. [He points at Leo and giggles] 'Cause tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999. [His voice drops and he points at Leo again] Hey, who's this dude. VERONICA: As I have told you now three times, this is the friendly officer of the law [Logan giggles] who is going to overlook your underage public drunkenness. LOGAN: [Of Leo's outfit] Crockett or Tubbs? TRINA: [Offscreen] Logan, when did you stop wearing pants? The three of them look round. Trina is standing in the corridor. LOGAN: [Unhappy] What are you doing here? TRINA: My first night back home and I get the call, come get Logan, he's wasted. It's like I never left. [Of music coming from the dance] Is that Kajagoogoo? LOGAN: There's no point you going in there, Trina. Entertainment Tonight is not covering it. TRINA: Bummer. Well I guess I'll just drag your sorry little self home. Logan is not steady on his feet and Trina pulls on his sleeve to head him in the right direction. He throws her hand off. LOGAN: As long as you let me puke in your car. TRINA: Of course, just like old times. Logan looks back at Veronica then follows Trina and they leave. LEO: A promising young man. VERONICA: Thanks for showing up tonight. I assume I have Meg to thank for getting you here. LEO: She called... VERONICA: Um LEO: ...but I came because I wanted to see you. You wanna go back? VERONICA: Ah, no, here's not so bad. [Pause] Are you going to kiss me? LEO: I was thinking about it. Leo leans forward, takes her by the waist and they kiss. They both come out of it smiling. VERONICA: Cool. Veronica's cell rings. VERONICA: Hello? It another call where no one speaks. LEO: Your other boyfriend. VERONICA: No someone keeps crank calling me. LEO: Star 69 them. VERONICA: I do but it just rings and rings. LEO: [Taking the phone] I am a deputy sheriff, allow me. Leo dials *69 and the phone rings. LEO: [Into telephone] I hear you're bothering my girl, VERONICA: [Grabbing the phone] Who is this? Why do you keep calling me? MAN ON TELEPHONE: This is a pay phone. You must be talking about that blonde lady. VERONICA: Blonde lady? A-a pay phone where? MAN ON TELEPHONE: Sage Brush Cantina, Barstow Veronica shuts off the phone. VERONICA: Uh, raincheck? Veronica gives Leo a quick kiss and runs out, leaving him baffled. LEO: What? Cut to day. Veronica is in a rental car. She pulls up to a bar in the middle of nowhere. A country track is playing. SONG: That warm breeze is running over me Every now and then, I begin remembering That warm breeze keeps twisting memories Veronica enters. SONG: And I wonder if it's ever gonna end A man and woman are playing pool. WOMAN: Call. The woman gives Veronica a hard look and passes her. SONG: I don't think I'm over you quite yet Veronica looks around. She sees a woman sitting at the bar. SONG: Yes there are things a heart can't just forget She approaches her. It's Lianne. She looks a mess and sounds drunk. SONG: That warm breeze is running over me VERONICA: Mom! It takes her a moment to focus and recognise her daughter. LIANNE: Veronica. SONG: Every now and then, I begin remembering LIANNE: Oh, my god, no. No, please. Lianne is distressed. Veronica tries to take her mother's hands to lead her out. Lianne resists and knocks over some glasses. VERONICA: I'm gonna get you out of here. LIANNE: No! SONG: That warm breeze keeps twisting memories LIANNE: No. I can't be seen with you. They are gonna hurt you. VERONICA: Mom, I know who's doing it. I know who's blackmailing us. You're safe now. Lianne fights to get away and for a moment Veronica loses her. SONG: And I wonder if - She looks up and is horrified to see Clarence Wiedman's reflection. The music cuts off. Veronica turns in time to see him exit the bar. Lianne can't be seen but as the screen goes dark.... LIANNE: Veronica. End.

Plan: A: a Russian Internet order bride; Q: Who hired Veronica to find the groom that she abandoned? A: Duncan; Q: Who is Meg's secret admirer? A: Logan; Q: Who discovers that his sister Trina is back in town? A: her mother; Q: Who does Veronica find in a bar? Summary: Veronica is hired by a Russian Internet order bride to find the groom that she abandoned. Meg and Veronica uncover the identity of Meg's secret admirer, who turns out to be Duncan. Logan discovers that his sister Trina is back in town, and Veronica finds her mother in a bar.

ELLIS: He's with her. He's with that woman. His wife. MEREDITH: I don't think he is. Not any more. ELLIS: He is. Why would he do that? He loves me. I mean, why would he go back to her? I gave up everything for him. MEREDITH: Mom. Mom, look at me. This happened a very long time ago. This is not happening now. ELLIS: It's because I have a daughter isn't it? He always said he didn't want kids. I should never have had a kid. [SCENE_BREAK] BAILEY: What's going to happen to them? CHIEF: What? BAILEY: Dr. Burke, and Dr. Yang... what are you going to do to them? Their punishment? CHIEF: Dr. Bailey... BAILEY: There's a need for justice here. DEREK: Justice? CHIEF: Justice has no definition within the four walls of this hospital, Dr. Bailey. This isn't a court of law. BAILEY: I just want to know what's going to be done. CHIEF: Technically, they've done nothing wrong. Nobody died, there was no malpractice. I haven't made a decision. BAILEY: Excuse me, he- CHIEF: He what? BAILEY: Nothin'. CHIEF: Dr. Yang, go back on the floor with Dr. Bailey. BAILEY: Sir! CHIEF: Am I not understanding this? Does this situation directly harm you in some way? BAILEY: No sir. I am fine. CHIEF: Then get back to work. (Christina and Bailey leave.) CHIEF: Burke, you and Shepherd need to come together on this tremor as soon as possible. DEREK: He doesn't want my help. BURKE: I don't want his help. CHIEF: That hand is worth $2 million. I want it fixed, and I want it fixed yesterday. Figure it out! [SCENE_BREAK] MR. O'MALLEY: Listen, your brothers are good boys, but they're not that responsible. GEORGE: It's a standard procedure. MR. O'MALLEY: It's just that if things go wrong... GEORGE: Dad... MR. O'MALLEY: IF things go wrong, my life insurance papers are in the second drawer in my nightstand. And my magazines are in the garage with the truck manuals. GEORGE: Your magazines... MR. O'MALLEY: Get them out of there...so your Ma doesn't see them. GEORGE: Your Magazines!? (Callie clears her throat from the doorway.) CALLIE: Morning, Mr. O'Malley. Just wanted to stop by and see how that collar bone is healing. (George goes to leave.) MR. O'MALLEY: Georgie, you're not going to say hello to Dr. Torres? GEORGE: I'll see you for rounds dad. [SCENE_BREAK] DEREK: If you would have told me that you were developing a tremor, I could have run some tests. The likelihood is that there's just some compression of the structures around the injury. I can... BURKE: I don't want another surgery. DEREK: It could be a small clot. I could go in and... BURKE: Shepherd, I don't want another surgery. The first one caused enough damage. DEREK: I can do this. BURKE: That's what you said last time. And now I have a tremor. [SCENE_BREAK] IZZIE: Maybe she'll be on "look but don't touch" patrol too. At least I'll have some company. ALEX: Whatever she gets I hope its bad. Really bad. MEREDITH: She made a mistake, we all make... GEORGE: A mistake? She was going to let Burke, Burke with the shaky hand operate on my father. (Christina walks in.) CHRISTINA: Could you stop looking at me like that? It's creepy,and makes you look like you haven't been fed. (Everyone leaves except Meredith and Christina.) MEREDITH: So how's it going? CHRISTINA: How's what going? MEREDITH: You and Burke? Are you okay? CHRISTINA: We're existing in total silence. MEREDITH: He's not speaking to you? CHRISTINA: Well I'm not speaking to him either. MEREDITH: I'm sorry. Are you okay? CHRISTINA: Stop asking okay? MEREDITH: Making an effort here. CHRISTINA: Well don't. BAILEY: Rounds started 30 seconds ago. The chief may be confused about punishment for you but I'm not. You late again, you will find yourself another resident. [SCENE_BREAK] ADDISON: Dr. Bailey, can I have Grey? BAILEY: You can have them all. MEREDITH: Something you needed Dr. Montgomery? ADDISON: This is none of my business but I just thought you might want to be warned. MEREDITH: I"m sorry what? ADDISON: Your sister Molly has just been admitted for an emergency c-section. MEREDITH: Molly's not my sister. ADDISON: Okay, but technically she is. You have the same father. And Susan... MEREDITH: Susan Grey is definately not my mother. I appretiate you trying to be nice and everything but I really don't even need to know this. ADDISON: Actually, you do. SUSAN: Hello, Meredith. [SCENE_BREAK] GEORGE: Hi mom. MRS. O'MALLEY: Honey...oh. I put out some breakfast in case you kids were hungry. ALEX: Score! BAILEY: Karev. RONNIE: Hey, ready for the big day pops? JERRY: Food! (They lunge for the food.) HAHN: Alright lets make this fast people. I have a day. Which one of the interns is mine? ALEX: It's mine. He's family and she's a candy striper. IZZIE: I'm ready. GEORGE: What if you did pick me. What if you picked me? Ronny and JERRY: OHH Pick me! GEORGE: Guys, this is serious. BAILEY: Yang. ALL: What? BAILEY: Dr. Hahn, Christina is very good with cardio. I'm sure you could use her for the day. What are you waiting for Yang, present the case. CHRISTINA: Harold O�Malley, sixty three, diagnosed with oesophagial cancer and severe aortic regurge. Is scheduled for aortic valve replacement this afternoon. [SCENE_BREAK] ALEX: Dude that case was mine and she gives it to yang. I haven't had a cardiac case in ages. GEORGE: It's not a case it's my father. IZZIE: So there's a double standard. Yang does something wrong, and she gets rewarded. That's fair. BAILEY: If you three thumb suckers don't stop whining I swear I will not show you what's behind this door. And trust me. You want to see what's behind this door. PETE: Excuse me doctors, you're going to have to wait a few minutes. JAKE: He's go to pee! Every five minutes he's got to pee! PETE: I have always had a small bladder. Oh I can't live like this any longer JAKE: You? I'm the one who has to put up with your whining! PETE: Like the whining you're doing right now? If you don't move it's going to go all over your leg JAKE: So what else is new? BAILEY: So who thinks Yang got the better case? That's what I thought. [SCENE_BREAK] BAILEY: Jake and Pete Weitzman. 35 year old adult pygopagus conjoined twins. Attatched at the lumbar sacral junction. JAKE: But not for long, right Dr. Webber? CHIEF: The Weitzman brothers came in about 6 months ago for a separation procedure. They opted out because of the risk. JAKE: Pete chickened out. PETE: Well forgive me for wanting to live longer, even if it meant living with you. JAKE: Yeah, well you wasted 6 months of our lives thank you very much. ALEX: You guys came back at the right time. We just scored New York's top plastic surgeon. CHIEF: Mark Sloan, plastics. And you remember Dr. Shepherd, your neurosurgeon. MARK: We used to work together, as a team actually. DEREK: We worked together. We were never actually a team. GEORGE: Mr. Weitzman? JAKE: Call me Jake. PETE: Call me Pete. GEORGE: Jake, Pete... do you mind me asking why now when you thought the procedure was too risky 6 months ago? (Elena enters the room.) ELENA: Guys? Woah, that's a lot of doctors. I'm going to come back... JAKE: No Elena, come in. You want to know why now? This is why. The love of my life Elena. ELENA: Jake... I told him not to do this for me, cause that's just crazy. Pete said they could end up paralyzed? They could end up dead? JAKE: Why do you tell her things like that? PETE: I wasn't telling her, I was telling you. She just happens to be the only one who listens to me. DEREK: She happens to be right. JAKE: Do you know what it's like to be stuck to the same person... PETE: Here we go... JAKE: Yes here we go...to be stuck to the same person every minute of every day? To not have anything that's just yours? To never be on your own? Well no one should have to live like that. DEREK: What do you think Pete? PETE: I think why would I want to be attached to someone who doesn't want to be attached to me. [SCENE_BREAK] ALEX: I'm calling it. It's mine. GEORGE: I have two brothers. I feel their pain. IZZIE: I would be great at watching this. BAILEY: Quiet, all of you. ALEX: We're all on the case right? BAILEY: Right. ALEX: Yes! BAILEY: Stephens you are to- IZZIE: Look and not speak or touch or breathe. I got it. MARK: So this is the crack team? BAILEY: Feel free to take one. MARK: I think I'll take the one who doesn't speak or touch or breathe. ALEX: Damn it. [SCENE_BREAK] IZZIE: Thank you...for picking me. Even just observing... MARK: I thought you might be fun to look at while I work. IZZIE: Will you be working on both the skin graft and the nerve reconstruction? MARK: Yes. And I think I'll handle both better with a little caffeine in my system. Get me a blueberry scone, a bone dry cappuccino, and a little something for yourself. IZZIE: There's a cafeteria on the second floor, and a coffee cart in the lobby. MARK: Feisty. Cappuccino. IZZIE: You can kick me back to Bailey if you want. I don't do coffee. So how will you be handling the skin graft and nerve reconstruction? [SCENE_BREAK] CHIEF: Conjoined twins, Derek. DEREK: I know Chief. CHIEF: Conjoined adult twins. I mean it's rare enough to separate infants, but adults? Can you imagine the press? What a surgery like this could do for this hospital. DEREK: I know. That's why I don't think we should do it. Their spines are connected from the L4 down. Their blood flow is intricately connected. They could end up paralyzed or even dead. CHIEF: Your patients want this surgery Derek. Why are you backing out. This isn't like you. Unless there's incontrovertible evidence that this surgery can't be done, then we're moving forward. [SCENE_BREAK] SUSAN: Your father's not here. He's at Harvard Med visiting Lexie. We thought we had a lot of time I mean, Molly's only 36 weeks along, and Dr. Montgomery has been trying to stop the contractions but I guess the baby's ready to come. MEREDITH: Well do you need anything else or... ADDISON: Actually I could use an intern for this case. Can you ask Dr. Bailey for someone? MEREDITH: I'll do it. ADDISON: You sure? MEREDITH: I'm fine. SUSAN: It'll be so nice to have a familiar face in the operating room. Thank you... for being here. MEREDITH: It's my job...to be here. Does Molly know who I am? SUSAN: She doesn't. I wanted to tell her but your father... MEREDITH: No..it's better this way, it's good. ADDISON: So I think Molly should be ready in the OR. Susan, you'll need scrubs and a cap. SUSAN: I'm going to be a grandmother. ADDISON: Yes, in about half an hour you will be a grandmother. SUSAN: Okay...here we go. ADDISON: Here we go. MEREDITH: Here we go... [SCENE_BREAK] CHRISTINA: We're going to be replacing your valve with a porcine valve. MRS. O'MALLEY: Georgie says it's going to be okay. He says they know what they're doing. Besides if you die, I'll kill you. CHRISTINA: Well it's a good thing we're doing this today, we noticed you had a lot of irregular heart rhythms this morning. GEORGE: Did you check his DIG level? (He steals the chart.) CHRISTINA: What are you doing? GEORGE: His potassium was a borderline low this morning. HAHN: Okay, we've got a handle on things. GEORGE: Oh I'm sure you do. CHRISTINA: George, I think maybe you should step outside. GEORGE: You don't talk to me like that. RONNIE: Uh oh, she's woken up the baby. GEORGE: Ronnie! JERRY: Careful Dr. Hahn, he might cry. GEORGE: I said shut up! HAHN: Alright, you are out of here. GEORGE: No, I'm not. MRS. O'MALLEY: Georgie... GEORGE: No she can't kick me out. I hired her. I'm staying. [SCENE_BREAK] ADDISON: How are you doing there Molly? Molly: Okay...just excited to see my girl. ADDISON: Well you're going to get to take a look at her in just a few minutes. Dr. Grey can you give me a little more traction please? NURSE: Vitals are holding steady. Molly: Can you see her yet? SUSAN: No, I'm not looking until all the blood is gone. ADDISON: You want to cut the cord Dr. Grey? NURSE: The warmer is ready when you need it. ADDISON: Dr. Grey can you follow me? Dr. Knox, can you close for me? (They bring the baby over to a cubicle and try to get it to breathe.) ADDISON: Bag Valve Mask. We need to stabilize this baby and get it into surgery. Molly: What's happening? SUSAN: What's wrong with her? ADDISON: Susan I need you to stay with Molly. SUSAN: What's wrong with her? NURSE: No response to stimulation. ADDISON: You want to talk her through this? (Meredith just stares.) Dr. Grey I need your help here. MEREDITH: The baby is not breathing. Molly: What? What did she say? [SCENE_BREAK] ADDISON: You left me hanging in there Grey. MEREDITH: I'm sorry...I'm just...sorry. Do you need me to scrub in on the baby? ADDISON: No I need you to keep Molly and her mother apprised of the baby's condition while I operate. MEREDITH: I'm sure they'd rather talk to you. ADDISON: The baby has Jujenal Atresia. She may die. I got consent but I don't have time for updates. MEREDITH: I think I would really learn a lot from observing this. ADDISON: It was a mistake to let you in the OR with your family in the first place. It's not going to happen again. Check in with me every hour. [SCENE_BREAK] BAILEY: How many valve replacement have you preformed in your life Dr. O'Malley? GEORGE: None. BAILEY: None. And how many do you think Dr. Hahn has done? GEORGE: He's my father. BAILEY: And you are in that room as his son. You interns think you can do whatever you want. Well not any more. Not with me. Which is why you are going to stay away. 50 feet away to be precise. You are going to stay 50 feet away from your father at all times today. And Dr. O'Malley, do not make me tell you again. [SCENE_BREAK] BURKE: Everything okay with the O'Malley's? HAHN: Kid's a pain in the ass. But Dr. Yang here is proving to be an extremely capable asset. I hear she studied under you. BURKE: Yes. Why she's very...professional. [SCENE_BREAK] BURKE: What do you know about Dr. Lavine? CHIEF: Pretty good. BURKE: Better or worse than Dr. Korsikov? CHIEF: Why are you researching Neurosurgeons when you and I know Derek's better than anybody? BURKE: I don't want Shepherd. CHIEF: You blame this on him. You know up until now, I have not yelled. I have not yelled because you were a guy in trouble, and I was supporting you. But now, I'm YELLING. BURKE: Chief... CHIEF: I am yelling very loudly. I want to retire Burke! I want my wife back. I'm passing the torch to you! I passed the torch to you, and you blew it out! BURKE: I know I let you down. CHIEF: Burke, I'm tired. I'm tired of you men acting like boys. You let me down. And if you don't let Derek fix that hand, you're letting yourself down. [SCENE_BREAK] IZZIE: 22 surgeons. It takes 22 surgeons to do this. (Derek is working on a model of the twins.) CHIEF: Where are we? DEREK: I'm to the clauda equina. BAILEY: I'll be working on the musculature of the perineal floor. MARK: I'll be harvesting the sural nerve for transfer. DEREK: Once in resect this artery, we're going to have less than two minutes before all sensation to these nerves is gone. MARK: I'm pretty sure we're going to have enough nerve to transfer and cover the defacits. We can do this. (Derek breaks something inside the model.) DEREK: Damn it. It's going to be a lot more fragile in the body. It's one thing if this is a life and death situation where this is all we can do to save them. But these people are fine. This isn't worth the risk. (He throws down his tools and leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] SUSAN: How is our baby? MEREDITH: She has an intestinal obstruction which is why she couldn't breathe. Dr. Montgomery is operating on her now. Molly: I can't do this. I can't do this. SUSAN: Yes you can, baby. I'm right here and dad's on the way. Molly: I have to call Eric. I don't know what to tell him. SUSAN: It's her husband. He's in Iraq. Molly: I can't tell him. He's going to want to name her, and I don't want to name her 'cause I don't know how long she's going to be ours. SUSAN: We'll call him together. He's just going to be happy to hear your voice. The baby's okay, you hear me? [SCENE_BREAK] ALEX: I thought you were Sloan's right hand. IZZIE: Yeah well Sloan can kiss my... PETE: Ow! ALEX: I haven't even put the needle in yet. PETE: Sorry, I'm just not a big fan of pain. IZZIE: Well you're about to have a fairly extensive and painful operation. JAKE: You think that this is an elective procedure? That we're just coming in here cause we get on each others nerves? You want to know the real reason? PETE: Come on Jake, she doesn't want... JAKE: It's because we have rules. ALEX: Rules? JAKE: Yeah. Say one of us is on a dinner date. According to the rules, the other is just supposed to sit there quietly, eat his falafel and shut up. PETE: I try. But the way you talk to her sometimes. JAKE: Is none of your business. PETE: How is it none of my business? ELENA: He stands up for me. I think that's kind of nice. JAKE: Okay, you� don't talk to him any more. ELENA: What? Now we can't even be friends? JAKE: We have other rules too. Like for when we're with someone. ALEX: Got it. Sort of. JAKE: No looking. No talking. No touching! PETE: It was an accident! IZZIE: Oh this is going to end badly. ELENA: I told you, I'm completely fine with it. JAKE: How are you okay with him touching you while your naked? ELENA: Cause it was no big deal. It was kind of sweet and...it just wasnt a big deal. JAKE: You liked it. You enjoyed it. ELENA: I"m completely in love with you that's not even...you're a great guy and ...when we make love it's great. It's really great. And I've never had that before. It's just that...when you fall asleep..Pete and i...we just talk. And I really love that too. JAKE: No you have to choose. ELENA: What? JAKE: Him or me. We're going to have this surgery, and you can't have us both. So choose. Him or me. This is the part where you're supposed to say "you Jake, I choose you." ELENA: I'm so sorry Jake. I'm so sorry. PETE: Elena! (Jake turns over and tackles Pete.) [SCENE_BREAK] IZZIE: I think it's romantic. Two brothers fighting over the same woman. ALEX: You know what's freaky though? Conjoined twins having s*x in front of the other one. How do you do that? MEREDITH: Family is complicated. ALEX: You're still here. You haven't been kicked out of the program yet. MEREDITH: Alex. CHRISTINA: No not yet. I'm still here. ALEX: How'd you do it? I mean did you have some sort of secret signal in surgery so that the nurses wouldn't know? MEREDITH: Alex... ALEX: What? I'm just wondering how to get ahead around here. Me, I fetch coffee for Sloan. Yang she gets surgeries none of us would get. GEORGE: Got a head count on how many patients you two have lied to in the past month? MEREDITH: George... IZZIE: Leave her alone. Her patients lived so she gets to scrub in. MEREDITH: Izzie! CHRISTINA: Meredith... could you stop defending me? [SCENE_BREAK] (George walks in on Callie and his father talking. He goes to leave.) CALLIE: No, I'll go. MR. O'MALLEY: Georgie, you should make nice with her. CALLIE: No really Mr. O'Malley it's fine. MR. O'MALLEY: It's not fine. George, you're so angry. GEORGE: No I'm not. MR. O'MALLEY: You're picking fights every chance you get, and that's not like you. GEORGE: Dad, you don't know what's been going on. MR. O'MALLEY: Ok then tell me. Why are you so angry at Dr. Torres? CALLIE: I should go. I have patients to see. GEORGE: You know what I'm gonna go. MR. O'MALLEY: No. Everyone stays. You're angry george. At Callie, at your brothers. At Dr. Hahn, at Dr. Bailey, at Dr. Yang at Dr. Burke. That's a long list of people to be angry at. Especially when the person you're really angry at... is me. GEORGE: Dad? MR. O'MALLEY: I drink and I smoke and I don't exercise. I eat all the wrong things, and now I have cancer. You have to take care of everything. You have to take care of me. GEORGE: I don't mind. MR. O'MALLEY: You do. You're mad at me. And that's okay, cause I'm mad at me too. You think I wanna die and leave my boy in charge? GEORGE: You are not going to die. MRS. O'MALLEY: What's going on? RONNIE: You're not supposed to be in here Georgie. JERRY: Yeah, you're going to get in trouble Georgie. GEORGE: Georgie doesn't work here in this hospital! My name is Dr. O'Malley! (Mr. O'Malley starts having trouble breathing, and his monitors go off.) GEORGE: Dad? Dad? [SCENE_BREAK] GEORGE: Dad! Don't fight it! MRS. O'MALLEY: He's having a heart attack. RONNIE: Why don't you pump his chest? JERRY: What about the paddles? Get the paddles! GEORGE: He's not having a heart attack. Dad dad stop. Your heart is going to fast. CALLIE: Recycle his BP. GEORGE: Pull Verapamile. 5 mg. Dad, stop fighting the mask. BURKE: O'Malley what's going on? GEORGE: You should have paged Hahn. CALLIE: I paged anyone from Cardio. GEORGE: He's got A-fib with rapid ventricle response. I ordered verapamile. BURKE: He's in v-tac. The verapamile will cause more problems than it solves. 100 Lidocane. GEORGE: But on his O2 mask. (Burke goes to give the injection. But he gives it to George.) HAHN: Alright what happened? BURKE: He went in to v-tac. O'Malley has given him lidocane. It's already put him back into normal sinus. HAHN: Alright I need everyone out of here. [SCENE_BREAK] IZZIE: I got your page. MARK: I need another cappuccino. IZZIE: Did you think I was kidding before? MARK: I am your attending. And if you want in on my surgery, you're going to learn to fetch, and stay... and heel. IZZIE: Fine. MARK: Don't fetch angry. IZZIE: If you think this means I respect you... If you want me to respect you, you have to do something worth respecting. [SCENE_BREAK] DEREK: Look at this cable of nerves. I can't do this surgery Miranda. It's... nuh uh. BAILEY: I started to think I shouldn't be operating after the Duquette M&M. All the whispers and talk. I let that in. I started to question myself. I believed it when I was told I was no longer of use in the OR. DEREK: You said you wanted justice. you were talking about... BAILEY: I'm a surgeon. I hold lives in my hand. To make me question that...No that's to put a life at stake every time I hold a scalpel. DEREK: Well I told Burke I would fix his hand. BAILEY: Well you did. He is not paralyzed or disabled in any way. He has a tremor, and if he'd been honest about that... well there's no telling what you could have done to prevent it. You can do this. [SCENE_BREAK] MR. O'MALLEY: Hold onto my wedding ring honey. Hospital rules. Georgie, will you be there in the operation? GEORGE: They don't allow family in. But you'll be fine. MR. O'MALLEY: Oh, I'll be fine. CHRISTINA: We'll take good care of you. MRS. O'MALLEY: What am I going to do? What am I going to do if he dies? [SCENE_BREAK] (The twins are being wheeled into the Or.) JAKE: I changed my mind. PETE: Oh no you didn't. GEORGE: Dr. Bailey, I'd like to be excused from the twins if that's alright. I'd like to be with my mom. BAILEY: That's the right call O'Malley. Go. JAKE: Promise me something? When you separate us, can you make sure that his ass is bigger than mine? PETE: I can hear you! [SCENE_BREAK] MEREDITH: You're still here. I went to NICU I thought you'd be done. ADDISON: I'm having trouble with the anastomosis and I still have to take a look at the distal bowel. MEREDITH: What should I tell Molly? ADDISON: I don't know. Tell her I'm doing the best I can. I don't know. [SCENE_BREAK] MARK: Dr. Bailey, I'd like my intern to observe from a better vantage point. BAILEY: Dr. Stephens? MARK: Yes, she is my intern today. And I'd like her nearby not up in the gallery if that's okay with you. BAILEY: No problem CHIEF: Dr. Bailey, Stephens is without privileges. BAILEY: Oh cause she messed up? Yang messed up and she's over in OR two right now. (She goes to the intercom.) Hit that for me will you? Stephens, I take it you remember how to scrub in? Come on. DEREK: This vessel's even more fragile than in the biomodel. MARK: Let's do a microvascular bypass graft. I can harvest the saphenous vein while I'm down there. DEREK: I don't know. I don't know if that's a good idea. CHIEF: Gentlemen we need to make a decision, and we need to make it now. Derek, it's your call. Do you or don't you want to proceed? DEREK: Alright, give me a 10-blade. CHIEF: Let's get some suction in here please. Thank you. [SCENE_BREAK] (George is in the scrub room watching his father's surgery. Burke walks in.) GEORGE: I'm not supposed to be here. BURKE: Me either. How's it going? GEORGE: They just started. HAHN: The skin incision is done. Let's go. (George can't watch. But Burke narrates.) BURKE: She's through the sternum. There's a bit of bleeding. She stopping it with bone wax. Inserting the retractor. She's opening the pericardial sac. Taking a look at the echo. She's nodding. Looks good. They're looking at your dad's heart now. She's preparing to put in the stay sutures. [SCENE_BREAK] DEREK: The saphenous vein in place? MARK: Yeah I'm ready. DEREK: Bailey? BAILEY: I'm good. DEREK: Chief? CHIEF: I'm ready when you are. DEREK: Alright. Moment of truth. Removing the clamps. CHIEF: Dr. Bailey, check the nerve stimulator. BAILEY: SAP's are falling. DEREK: Alright, pump up the blood pressure. We need as much blood through the area as possible. BAILEY: I'm going up to 2 milliamps. Up to 3. CHIEF: I see something. A flicker on the hamstring of twin A. Pump it up. BAILEY: Up to 4. DEREK: I've got a twitch. A twitch in twin B's gastric. CHIEF: It's small but it's there. BAILEY: We have a signal. DEREK: Congratuations ladies and gentlemen, we have 4 functioning legs. (Everyone claps.) CHIEF: Ladies and Gentlemen, on three. One. Two Three. (The two tables holding Pete and Jake are separated. Surgeons move in and begin to work on the now separated twins.) DEREK: It'd be nice if every love triangle could be fixed with a scalpel. MARK: If so you'd have stabbed me with a 10-blade a long time ago. [SCENE_BREAK] SUSAN: How is she? Please tell me good news, cause I have to go in and tell Molly and I don't want to tell her anything bad. MEREDITH: Dr. Montgomery is on her way and she will explain everything. But the baby... SUSAN: Laura. Molly named her Laura. MEREDITH: Laura, will need some recovery time, but she should be just fine. SUSAN: Oh thank you! I was so scared. Oh thank you! (she hugs Meredith.) She's going to be so happy to hear that. Hey this is your niece you know? MEREDITH: I'm sorry. You're very nice. You both seem so nice. But I don't know you. And you are not my family. [SCENE_BREAK] HAHN: Closing the aortotomy. What's next? CHRISTINA: Place the needle in the ascending aorta to remove air, and then release the aorta valve clamp. HAHN: You remind me of myself when I was an intern. CHRISTINA: I do? HAHN: Focused. Intense. And cold. And I don't mean that as a bad thing. Cold is good. The dating the friends the family...if you ask me, it's all overrated. Alright tubes are out. CHRISTINA: Oh the ascending aorta is looking dilated. HAHN: There's too much bleeding around the suture line. NURSE: BP 60/42. Brady down. HAHN: Get me another TEE and an echo STAT. Let's move it people this doesn't look good. [SCENE_BREAK] HAHN: There's too much bleeding. Alright, lets get him back on bypass.\ CHRISTINA: I can put the aortic cannula into his right atrium. HAHN: By yourself? CHRISTINA: Yes. HAHN: Alright, do it. BURKE: Replace the 2-stage venus cannula. GEORGE: Why is she doing that? Why is Hahn letting her do that? BURKE: It's alright. She's doing a running whip stitch. She's done it before. There you go. HAHN: That's beautiful work Dr. Yang. BURKE: Dr. Hahn's work was impeccable O'Malley. I wouldn't have done anything different myself. It's just...you never tell how the body is going to respond. Every surgery, every body is different. You just...never know. But it's okay now. They're in the home stretch. GEORGE: Thank you Dr. Burke. [SCENE_BREAK] BAILEY: It undermines everything for my interns to se Yang go with out punishment. For me to see Burke go without punishment. CHIEF: Take a step back. Try and get some perspective. BAILEY: So there will be no consequences for either of them? CHIEF: What would you have me to? Fire both of them? End their careers. They made a terrible judgement call. BAILEY: Which is what happened with Denny Duquette. CHIEF: And they didn't kill anybody. BAILEY: And I did. CHIEF: You didn't kill Duquette and I won't have you saying you did. BAILEY: I was responsible for Izzie Stephens. I was responsible for Christina Yang. I...am the common thread here. I� lost them. Christina, Izzie.. CHIEF: Are not the same. Miranda...you raised them like children. And some of them make mistakes. Some of them disappoint them. Some of them...Do you know what kind of strength it must have taken Yang to come to me? To report on an attending? On Her boyfriend? Do you see how much she's grown? You raised them...like children, And some of the turn out exactly like you Dr. Bailey. [SCENE_BREAK] ELENA: Finally alone. PETE: Yeah. ELENA: Pete... PETE: It's been a long day. ELENA: Okay. Well you get a good night's sleep. I'll come back in the morning. MEREDITH: (narrating) At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. (The two brothers are brought together to spend the night together.) JAKE: Couldn't stay away? MEREDITH: (narrating) So this thing where we all keep our distance, and pretend not to care about each other...it's usually a load of bull. SUSAN: Did you want to come in? MEREDITH: No I just... she's okay. SUSAN: She's beautiful. We could be your family... if you wanted. You have a mother, I know. I'm not saying... I'm just saying that we could be your family too. (Meredith walks away.) MEREDITH: (narrating) So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to. MEREDITH: I can't take this any more. IZZIE: What? MEREDITH: Let her off the hook. Let Christina off the freakin' hook. CHRISTINA: Meredith.. MEREDITH: Izzie, you cut the LVAD wire. She stuck by you and did the echo. (to Alex) You cheated on Izzie with syph nurse, and she helped you study for your boards. And George when everyone was calling you 007... GEORGE: She was calling me 007. MEREDITH: Just let her off the hook. ALEX: It's okay. IZZIE: Sorry. (They leave.) CHRISTINA: Why can't you mind your own business? What is your problem? MEREDITH: You're my sister. You're my family. You're all I've got CHRISTINA: I'm so tired. MEREDITH: I know me too. MEREDITH: (narrating) and once we've chosen those people we tend to stick close by. CALLIE: I was just...checking on your dad and see how he was doing. GEORGE: Good. He's doing good. He's resting. Okay. CALLIE: Okay. MEREDITH: (narrating) no matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. [SCENE_BREAK] MEREDITH: Hey. DEREK: Well hey there. I'm going to go back upstairs with Dr. Burke. He wants me to take a look at his shoulder. Don't wait up for me. MEREDITH: Okay. (Christina goes in elevator to go with them.) MEREDITH: And sure, sometimes close can be too close. ELLIS: I couldn't stay with him. I don't care that he's Meredith's father. I just couldn't take it. Then Richard...and he... (She cries and babbles incoherently. Meredith gets up and hugs her.) Meredith... MEREDITH: Mommy? MEREDITH: But sometimes that invasion of personal space... it can be exactly what you need.

Plan: A: Recent events; Q: What strains Burke and Cristina's relationship? A: reconciliation; Q: What do Burke and Cristina realize their chances of achieving are lowering? A: Meredith; Q: Who tells her mother that Webber will not keep seeing her? A: Meredith's half-sister; Q: Who is Molly? A: Seattle Grace Hospital; Q: Where is Molly's birthing place? A: Addison; Q: Who is Molly's doctor? A: Susan; Q: Who is Meredith's stepmother? A: family; Q: What does Meredith tell Susan she is not? A: Harold attempts; Q: What does Harold try to do to discover the cause of George's anger? A: Harold; Q: Who tries to find out the reason for George's anger? A: Derek; Q: Who is unsure on whether to continue the procedure on the conjoined brothers? A: two; Q: How many conjoined brothers seek medical help for separation? A: the patients; Q: Who could become paralyzed or die following the procedure? A: a pep talk; Q: What does Bailey give Derek to help him decide whether to continue the procedure? A: surgery; Q: What does Webber want Burke to have done to his hand? A: his hand; Q: What does Webber want Burke to fix? A: twenty years ago; Q: When did Meredith's mother think that Webber left her for good? A: a daughter; Q: What does Meredith's mother think Meredith should never have had? A: her part; Q: What part of Burke's scheme does Cristina face the wrath of Bailey and the other interns? Summary: Recent events strain Burke and Cristina's relationship and they both realize that the chances of reconciliation are lowering. Meredith's half-sister, Molly, goes into labor and is admitted to Seattle Grace Hospital under the care of Addison. Meredith does not want to see or talk to Susan, her stepmother, and tells her that she is not family and their relationship should go no further. Harold attempts to discover the cause of George's anger. Derek and Mark must work together when two conjoined brothers seek medical help for separation. However, the patients could become paralyzed or die following the procedure, and Derek is unsure on whether to continue until he gets a pep talk from Bailey. Webber demands that Burke has surgery again to fix his hand. Meredith has to tell her mother that Webber will not keep seeing her and she relives the night that he left her for good twenty years ago. Meredith is devastated when her mother says that she should never have had a daughter as she believes that is the reason that Webber had left her. Cristina faces the wrath of Bailey and the other interns following her part in Burke's scheme.

FLASH IN. [VARIOUS EXT. LAST VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT] [EXT. TRAILER PARK - NIGHT] (A trailer in the trailer park is on fire. There are a series of explosions within the fire.) (A helicopter flies overhead.) Helicopter Pilot: (over radio) Control, this is air one. I'm at the trailer park 402. There's a large gas main construction fire. (audio fades out, continues in cc) The scene is totally involved. Dispatch additional fire units and paramedics. Over. FLASH TO: (The firefighters are there spraying water on the blaze. The helicopter flies overhead.) (CC) WOMAN: We need your help! TIME CUT TO: [EXT. TRAILER PARK - NIGHT] (The fire is out. The CSIs arrive as the officers are putting up the crime scene tape. They stop just outside the tape and look at the damage.) Catherine: Warrick, why don't you and I take the perimeter and work our way in. Warrick: All right. (motions to Greg) Greg, you're with us. Greg: I'll start the sketch. (They all duck under the tape and head toward the burned trailer. Wilcox walks past them.) Wilcox: How you doing, Nick? Nick: (smiling) Above ground, Wilcox. (Sara and Nick follow Grissom toward the trailer.) Sara: Would you like inside or out? Nick: I'll take in. (They head toward Brass, who is inside the trailer.) Brass: We got two victims. We think the girl is Selena March. She owns the trailer. (They shine their flashlights down on the blonde-haired woman on the ground near Brass. There's a second body near her.) Grissom: What about the male? Brass: Nothing yet. Nick: This is a piece of the roof right here -- fiberglass and particle board. These things weren't built to last. Grissom: They were built to burn. Nick: This place is totaled. The bed's collapsed. Officer Metcalf: My money's on meth lab. Sara: You know, Metcalf, just because somebody lives in a trailer park, doesn't mean they're a meth cook. Officer Metcalf: You guys are a real pain in the ass, you know that? (Grissom heads out.) Grissom: Get used to it, pal. FADE TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. TRAILER PARK - NIGHT] (Brass is talking with the neighbors gathered outside.) Brass: I'm just having a little trouble understanding this because you all live so close together. You mean none of you saw the explosion? (Randy Swansinger steps forward.) Randy Swansinger: Uh, I heard it. Brass: Well, good. Randy Swansinger: When I came out about five minutes later, the whole place was burnin' up. Brass: Where do you live? Randy Swansinger: (points) Right over there. (Brass turns to look.) Brass: Uh-huh. (He turns back to look at the man.) All right, let me get this straight -- you heard a blast like that coming from your neighbor's and it took you five minutes to poke your head out and see what was going on? Randy Swansinger: I was watching TV. (A woman standing next to him interrupts.) Nosy Lady: I'm sure he was drinking. (Randy Swansinger sighs and turns to leave. Brass stops him.) Brass: No, hang around, hang around. Hey, hang around. Woman: Did you find a man in Selena's trailer? Brass: Now why would you ask that? Was Selena a hooker? Woman: I'm sure I don't know. But one thing I do know, that's not Selena's car. (She looks pointedly at the car parked outside the trailer.) [INT. TRAILER PARK - TRAILER -- NIGHT] (Sara is looking at some blue paint on the gas main in the trailer.) (Outside, Catherine and Warrick are crouched down looking at something. Catherine's phone rings.) Catherine: Yeah? Grissom: (over phone) Catherine, we have a 4-19 off Industrial. Would you like to handle it? Catherine: (to phone) So you get the team back together only to break us apart again. What kind of a perverse game are you playing here, Gil? Grissom: (from phone) I'm not a pervert. Catherine: (to phone) Yeah, I'll cover it. I'm taking Warrick. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT] [EXT. INDUSTRIAL - STRIP CLUB - NIGHT] (Warrick and Catherine walk down the sidewalk toward the taped-off area.) (An officer is already there. They head toward the scene.) Officer DA Michaels: Oh, hey, guys. Good to see you. Hey, would you tell Nick I hope there's no hard feelings about that whole, you know, abduction thing. He hasn't returned my calls. Warrick: He's been busy. Vartann: Squad car found her about a half hour ago -- no ID, but there's a lot of homeless in this area. (Warrick crouches down and starts snapping photos of the victim. Catherine remains standing nearby, shining her flashlight on the victim.) Vartann: Looks like somebody took something to her head. Warrick: Yeah. Vartann: Didn't find a weapon, but my guys are still looking. (The woman is wearing a shopping bag with the following printed on top in red: BONANZA WORLD'S LARGEST GIFT SHOP www.bonanzagifts.com Sahara & the Strip Las Vegas, Nevada Catherine: A shopping bag for a shirt, rubber boots and a g-string. Homeless stripper? Warrick: Well, this is g-string row, isn't it? (Warrick puts a hand to his forehead. Catherine notices the ring on his finger.) Catherine: Why is there a ring on your ring finger? Warrick: Because I'm married. Catherine: What? (Warrick glances at Catherine and nods his head.) Vartann: (joking) Congratulations. How much did you pay her? (Vartann steps forward and shakes Warrick's hand. Warrick chuckles as he stands.) Vartann: No, seriously, good luck with that, man. I didn't even know you had a girlfriend. Warrick: Oh, yeah, it's a girl I've been dating a couple months--Tina. Catherine: How long have you been married? Warrick: Since yesterday. Did this, uh, drive-through wedding at Circus Circus Way, you know. Fun, yeah, we, uh ... fun time. (Vartann smiles as Warrick walks a little. David joins them.) David Phillips: Hey. Sorry I'm late. Busy night. (David puts his kit down near the body and kneels next to Warrick near the body.) Warrick: We need a TOD, David. David Phillips: Rigor's barely set, so not long--under four hours. Catherine: About as long as Warrick's been married. David Phillips: You're married? Congratulations. Warrick: Thanks. Do you think she was dumped? David Phillips: Lividity is consistent with the position of the body. So it's highly unlikely. Vartann: All right. I'll check out the strip clubs. Warrick: I'll go with you. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) -- DAWN] [INT. TRAILER - DAWN] (It's morning. Nick steps out from one of the rooms into the living room. He's holding a hot plate and cord in his hand. He walks over to Grissom.) Nick: Well, there doesn't seem to be any drug-manufacturing supplies, but plenty of ignition sources: a hot plate, fondue pot, gas stove, candles. One leaky pipe's all it takes. (Grissom looks around. He doesn't say anything.) Nick: Which I haven't found yet. (Nearby, Sara examines a burned item.) Grissom: Yeah, but even if you had, that would only explain the explosion in here, not the ruptured gas main outside. (Sara walks over to Grissom and Nick.) Sara: Think I can help you with that. I found this gas meter over by the main. Trailer blows, this thing becomes a missile. (Quick flash of: The gas main explodes, sending the gas meter flying toward the trailer. It hits the pipes, causing a second explosion.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Sara: One explosion leads to another. Grissom: Yeah, but where did it all start? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- DAY] (Greg reports to Grissom as they walk through the hallway.) Greg: Brass ran the plates on that Acura near the trailer. It's registered to a Robert Durgee. Grissom: You get his photo from the DMV? Greg: Confirmed as the vic -- Henderson address, mortgage broker. Wife's name was on the insurance card. Grissom: She coming in? Greg: She wasn't home. Brass is tracking her down. (Greg leaves. Judy Tremont, the receptionist, stops Grissom.) Judy Tremont: Excuse me, Mr. Grissom ... (Grissom walks over to her. She has a plastic bag in front of her.) An officer brought this in off a call from Flora Nevada Nursery. They thought it might have something to do with the Walter Gordon case. (Grissom takes the bag and sees that there's a burned cassette tape inside.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- DAY] (Robbins reports his findings to Nick and Grissom.) Robbins: Female's lungs were filled with soot. COD is smoke inhalation. Nick: Okay, that means the natural gas didn't suffocate her. Explosion probably knocked her out before the fire even started. Robbins: Yeah, male didn't even last that long. His lungs were clean, but he suffered fatal crushing injuries to his abdomen. Grissom: The pieces of debris that were on this guy's body were not heavy. But the bed he was lying in collapsed. Nick: Explosion could've done that. (Grissom looks closer at the bruises on the body.) Grissom: Let's photo-enhance these bruises. (Grissom attaches the lens to the camera mounted on a stand over the body while Nick sets up the computer. He goes to help Grissom by adjusting the light.) (They snap a couple of photos. Nick adjusts the image on the monitor.) Nick: Yeah, yeah, the UV light's definitely bringing out the bruises underneath the skin. (He enhances and sharpens the image. It becomes clear what it looks like.) Nick: That looks like a tire mark. Grissom: Maybe our gas explosion just turned into a hit-and-run. [SCENE_BREAK] [MONITOR: TIRE MARKS] (The tire image taken from the body split-screens on the monitor next to a tire.) [INT. CSI - LAB - DAY] (Nick stands at the computer trying to find a match to the treadmark.) (He finds the match and pulls up the tire information: Brand: MICHELIN TYPE: 195/70/R14 PATTERN: BLOCK GROOVE: 5 VEHICLE MODELS CONSISTENT WITH MICHELIN 195/70/R14 VEHICLE MODEL 1: TOYOTA CAMRY, '96-99 VEHICLE MODEL 2: HYUNDAI SONATA, '96-'98 VEHICLE MODEL 3: PONTIAC SUNFIRE SE '96-2000 VEHICLE MODEL 4: FORD RANGER '96 (Nick checks the information against the State of Nevada Insurance Identification Card. It reads: COMPANY NUMBER: 23509 COMPANY: American Peak Ins. Co. POLICY NUMBER: --7399581-03 EFFECTIVE DATE: 01/01/2005 EXPIRATION DATE: 05/30/2005 VEHICLE IDENTIFICATION NUMBER: 1N6SD1155RC400678 12688 OWENMOUTH AVE. LAS VEGAS NV 89101 ROBERT DURGEE AMBER DURGEE 8824 SANDY CREEK RD. LAS VEGAS NV 83123 (He enters a Search Request for: AMBER DURGEE (The results show: MAKE: FORD MODEL: RANGER YEAR: 1996 LICENSE PLATE: 219 RSB VIN#: 7Q10T19Q27R211657 [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (Brass interviews Amber Durgee.) Amber Durgee: Well, Robert said that he was going to be working late. So I went to midnight bingo. Brass: Alone? Amber Durgee: Excuse me? Brass: Alone? Amber Durgee: I was ... with a friend. Brass: What was your friend's name? Amber Durgee: Why? (Brass offers her a tissue. She takes one.) Brass: Why not? Amber Durgee: He's married. Brass: Looks like the only person in this thing who isn't married is the dead girl in the trailer with your husband. (Amber looks at Brass, surprised to hear this.) Brass: You didn't know he was having an affair? Amber Durgee: (shakes her head) No, I had no idea. Brass: You have a '96 blue Ford Ranger. We're going to need to take a look at it. Amber Durgee: But my truck is in New Mexico. My brother borrowed it this morning, he, uh ... Brass: A wild guess: You have no idea how to reach him. Amber Durgee: Not until he gets back. Why do you need to see my truck? Brass: Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, you follow your husband to a trailer park. You see him slumming with his little trailer bunny. You waited for him to come out ... (Quick flash to: [TRAILER PARK - NIGHT] The trailer door opens and Robert Durgee steps out of the trailer. Amber sits inside her car watching him. He lights his cigarette. Suddenly, carlights glare and the tires screech as the car surges toward him. He turns to look.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Brass: When she pulls the body back in, before she can call for help, you torch the place. Kaboom. (Quick flash of: The trailer explodes. End of flash.) Brass: The end. Amber Durgee: That is the craziest thing I've ever heard. (Brass chuckles.) Brass: Wouldn't even make my top ten. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- DAY] (Brass and Grissom walk through the hallway.) Brass: So that's when the bereaved Mrs. Durgee lawyered up. Broadcast out on her truck, and the warrant's ready to go. (They stop walking. Grissom looks up and sees Sofia Curtis handing a suspect off to an officer.) Suspect: I didn't do it. Sofia Curtis: (to the officer) I don't care what he says. Put him in the tank and see if he wises up. Sure as hell can't get any dumber. Grissom: (calls out) Detective Curtis. (Sofia walks over to Grissom and Brass.) Sofia Curtis: Grissom. Grissom: I thought you were supposed to be arresting people in Boulder City. Sofia Curtis: Well, a spot opened up here and ... I transferred in today. Brass: Surprise. (Brass turns and leaves. Sofia and Grissom smile at each other.) Grissom: Well, your mother would be proud. Sofia Curtis: My mother made captain. You know, I'd just qualified for my shield when the sheriff pulled my papers and "volunteered" me to CSI. I think my mom hated that more than I did. Grissom: You won't miss the lab, will you? Sofia Curtis: (shrugs) There's some things I'll miss. I'll see you around. (Grissom watches her leave.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- DAY] (Catherine removes something from the victim's head cut. She looks at it. Camera zooms in for a close-up.) (Catherine puts the piece in a container and sets it aside. An assistant stands on the other side of the table. Catherine looks at the victim's nails. She cuts the plastic bag off the body and removes it.) (She snaps photos of the body.) (Catherine removes the rubber boots from the victim's feet. She finds lettering on the side of the boots: S & S. She also finds initials on the back: EV.) (She looks at the woman on the table.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Catherine is on the computer looking up a website: City of Las Vegas. The page is about "Streets and Sanitation Maintenance".) (More information pops up.) (Warrick walks into the office.) Warrick: So, Vartann and I struck out on g-string row. Catherine: You poor guys. (He chuckles.) Warrick: Yeah, right. You know what I mean. No one recognized the victim's picture. Listen, Cath, about this whole marriage thing ... Catherine: Yeah, that. Yeah, that kind of threw me for a loop. Tina, right? Warrick: Yeah. Catherine: She must be a very special woman. I look forward to meeting her. Warrick: Yes, she is ... (Catherine passes the report toward Warrick. She turns back to her monitor.) Catherine: (interrupts) The vic's blood-alcohol level was .16 and COD was blunt-force trauma. (Resigned, Warrick walks over to look at the report.) Warrick: Smashed and then smashed, huh? Catherine: Mm-hmm. Warrick: Any luck on the, uh ... victim's prints? Catherine: No work card; no record. But the rubber boots were standard issue: Streets and Sanitation. (She indicates the photo on the table. Warrick looks at it. It's of the initials.) Warrick: "E.V."? Catherine: Yeah, there's three S&S workers with those initials and ... (The information appears on the monitor: NAME: VONNER, EDDIE ADDRESS: 288 TYLER RD. HENDERSON, NV 89109 Catherine: ... it looks like an Eddie Vonner was on duty last night. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LOT -- DAY] (Det. Vartann and Catherine talk with Eddie Vonner as he stands in front of his truck #3143.) Eddie Vonner: Why would you want to see my boots? Vartann: You tell us. Eddie Vonner: Look, I know it's against the regs to pick up anything other than trash, but, I mean, come on. (Quick flashback to: [NIGHT] The woman wearing a plastic bag runs along the sidewalk in her bare feet. Eddie gives her his boots.) Eddie Vonner: (V.O.) She was barefoot; she was stepping on glass and crap, so, yeah, I gave her my boots. (End of flash. Resume to present.) Eddie Vonner: And she practically begged, so, I gave her a lift. Vartann: So, you're just a good Samaritan. Eddie Vonner: Oh, come on, it was pretty obvious she didn't belong there. Catherine: Where? Eddie Vonner: Jefferson and K? You ever see the citizens that hang out in that neighborhood? Catherine: When I see them, they're usually dead. Eddie Vonner: Well, there you go. I mean, come on, she ... I could tell, despite the ... well, the get-up, she was hot. And, I mean, I'm not talking like garbage truck hot. I mean, she was like ... like limo hot. (He motions toward Catherine. She rolls her eyes.) Vartann: Listen, did she tell you her name, or, uh, how she ended up there, anything? Eddie Vonner: She looked kind of embarrassed, so I didn't push it. So, I just ... I dropped her off down at, uh, Western and Industrial. Never left my route. Why, did she, uh ... ? She say anything about me? Catherine: She died a few blocks from where you dropped her off. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. TRAILER PARK -- DAY] (Nick jumps out of the trailer while Sara snaps photos of the various items spread out on a blue tarp.) Sara: If the wife torched the trailer and caused the explosion, you would expect to see small debris embedded all over the inside of these walls. There's nothing here. (She snaps more photos. Nick finds something else.) Nick: Hey, hey ... Sara. Check this out. This is a piece of the exterior wall facing the road. Sara: With a tire mark on it? Nick: Yeah. Sara: There is blue paint on this gas main. Didn't mean anything at the time. Amber has a blue Ford Ranger, right? Nick: Uh-huh. Sara: What if Amber follows her husband to the trailer, sees him go inside, totally freaks out. Why wait for him to come out? (Quick flashes of: [INSIDE TRAILER] Robert and Selena are in bed.) (Outside the trailer, Amber sits behind the wheel, steps on the gas and rams the Ford Ranger into the trailer wall. The truck runs clear over the bed and its occupants. Glass sprays all over the bedroom.) (End of flash. Resume to paresent.) Nick: Yeah. Yeah, just come straight through. Run him over in bed with another chick. Sara: Trailer collapses, fire breaks out, sweeps through, and destroys practically all evidence of a collision. Nick: Yeah. Sara: It's too bad we don't have her truck. We could match this to her tires. Nick: Well, '96 f Ford Ranger, stock paint. (Nick picks up the pipe with the blue paint on it.) Maybe I can match the transfer to this. (Sara looks around.) Sara: I'm starving. There's a unit going out for sandwiches. Would you like me to get you something? Nick: No, no, you go ahead. I'm gonna ... (He looks around, his mind preoccupied.) I'm gonna work on this. (Sara leaves. Nick carries the pipe and wall over to the back of his car where they have an additional table set up. He puts the wall down and concentrates on the pipe.) (He puts the pipe down on the table along with a blank evidence tag. Unknown to him, a large cockroach is on his shirt and climbing up his arm.) (Nick glances down at the roach and sees it. For a moment, he's startled and bats at the roach to get it off him.) (Nick looks around.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT] [EXT. BONANZA - NIGHT] (Vartann meets up with Warrick.) Vartann: According to the garbage man, she ran up from this direction. Warrick: Yeah? Vartann: Must be where she got the bag. Warrick: Hmm. (They both walk the sidewalk.) Vartann: Victim wasn't carrying a cell phone. She's in the wrong part of town in her underwear, scared out of her head. She's gonna call her man, her family, someone. Warrick: And she didn't have a quarter, so she called 911. I'll print the phones. Vartann: I'll dump the call records. (Warrick looks around as Vartann dials.) Warrick: Let's get the traffic cameras, too. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. CSI - TRACE LAB -- NIGHT] (Hodges reports his findings to Grissom and Nick.) Hodges: The, uh, treadmark on your trailer wall is consistent with Michelin 195/70/r14s. Grissom: What about the blue paint scrapings we found on the gas main? Hodges: You got a real thing for blue paint. You know that? But, uh, this isn't from a Ford Ranger, or any Ford for that matter. It's a GMC paint. (He shows Grissom the report with the following: BLUE COLORED PAINT SCRAPINGS RECOVERED FROM EVIDENCE ITEM #7166 IS CONSISTENT WITH GMC PRODUCTS ) Nick: Amber Durgee was cheating on her husband, maybe even wanted him dead, but her truck didn't have anything to do with it. Grissom: Right tires, wrong vehicle. Nick: (nods) Mm. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. TRAILER PARK -- DAY] (Grissom is snapping photos of the treadmarks on the ground. He looks around. He walks around the trailer over to the other side and finds two large holes in the ground. He picks up a piece of broken glass with 32V??H on it.) (Nick walks over to him.) Nick: Found something? Grissom: Part of a headlamp, maybe. Nick: Well, I found some blue paint transfer on that chain-link fence. As far as tracks go, this place is a parking lot, man. They're everywhere. Grissom: Except between the gas main and the trailer. Nick: So, the trailer wasn't rammed? Grissom: I think we're looking at the, uh, vehicular equivalent of a through-and-through. Car comes down the road. (Quick flash of: [NIGHT] A car coming down the road skids to the side and grazes the wire fence.) Grissom: (V.O.) Gas main acts as a ramp. (The car runs up the gas ramp and goes completely through the trailer. The trailer explodes.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Nick: Flying car. (nods) That's what we're gonna go with? (Grissom turns and looks at Nick just as Nick looks away. Nick: mm-hmm. Okay. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY -- DAY] (Nick and Brass walk through the hallway.) Nick: The partial OEM number on the headlamp piece belongs to a '97 Pontiac Sunfire. Brass: Boy, that was quick. Nick: Well, GMC paint -- tire model wasn't that tough. Brass: I'll put out another broadcast. Nick: All right. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [EXT. PARKING LOT -- DAY] (Sara snaps a photo of the blue Pontiac with a couple of parking tickets on the windshield.) (Grissom and Sofia kneel behind the car looking at the closed trunk.) Sofia Curtis: Your broadcast was for a blue Pontiac. Patrol figured this was worth a look. Grissom: How bad does a smell have to get before Parking Control calls Homicide? (They're looking at the decomp goo dripping from the bottom of the trunk.) Sara: No way this car was at the trailer park. Think we've got a new case. First citation was issued five days ago. Car's probably been here at least six. (Sofia pops the trunk.) Sofia Curtis: Six days in the summer heat. (Inside are the soupy remains of a dead body, cloth and bones ... and the sounds of flies buzzing around the mess.) Grissom: (exhales) And a trunk becomes a crockpot. Sara: Looks like a male and a female. (Grissom notes one of the skulls.) Grissom: That could be an entry wound in her skull. Sofia Curtis: Well, if she was shot in there, there might be bullets and casing. I say we process the car in place. Let's get rolling. Sara: Area is uncontrolled. Evidence can be contaminated or lost. We need to get this back to the lab. Grissom: Car condom. (They shut the trunk door.) [VARIOUS SHOTS] (Sara places a sticker on the back left door that reads: DO NOT OPEN, POLICE.) (She and Grissom wrap the car's trunk completely in rolls of thin plastic.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - A/V LAB -- DAY] (Archie removes the cassette tape from the bag and puts it in the player. He hits play and listens to the tape on his earphones.) Walter Gordon: (from tape) Hi, CSI guy. You're wondering why you're here? Because you followed the evidence. (Warrick walks into the lab Warrick: Archie? (Archie doesn't move. Warrick nudges Archie's chair, startling him. Archie removes the earphones.) Warrick: Archie? Do you have anything on pay phone dump? Archie Johnson: Oh. Yeah. (Archie turns the tape off, stands and moves over to the video equipment.) Archie Johnson: The 911 call about five minutes before your garbage man picked up the vic. Then I matched time codes with the video from the traffic cam. Synched up the audio. (He hits play and shows Warrick both the audio and video of what happened on the street. Time code starts at 3:17.) (The girl is on the phone in nothing but her underwear.) Operator: (from video) 911. What is your emergency? Woman 1 (victim): ... pick me up. Warrick: Whoa! Operator: (from video) Ma'am, just calm down. Warrick: That's our girl. Operator: (from video) Will you tell me your location? Woman 1 (victim): (hysterical) No. I don't know where I am, okay?! Operator: (from video) If you'll just calm down and tell me where you are. Woman 1 (victim): (from video) I don't know where I am. I'm just ... (A second woman walks up to her, grabs the phone and hangs up.) Woman 2: (from video) Yo, ho, get off my phone ... Woman 1 (victim): (from video) Please, please ... Archie Johnson: Someone's getting territorial. Warrick: I'll put Vartann on it. Woman 2: (from video) This is my phone. Woman 1 (victim): (from video) Okay, fine. You can have this phone! (The second woman chases the first woman out of camera frame. The first woman leaves. Warrick: Vic loses her shoes. Explains the boots. Let see where she came from. Rewind it a little bit, would you? Archie Johnson: Yeah. (Archie rewinds the tape and shows the victim coming out of a large vehicle.) Warrick: Oh. Stop. Hold it. That looks like an airport shuttle. There's a logo on this side. Archie Johnson: Yeah. I can enhance that. (He enhances the logo and sees: EXCLUSIVE SEDAN SERVICE ) Archie Johnson: That's a limo? Warrick: This is Vegas. It's a strip bar on wheels. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. EXCLUSIVE (SEDAN SERVICE) -- DAY] (Warrick is going through the limo while Vartann and Catherine interview the limo driver.) Limo Driver: I don't even pay attention to the talent. I just drive down Industrial Boulevard, from strip club to strip club, picking 'em up. It's like bus stops. Before you know it, we're full, the bus is on fire ... (Quick flash of: Inside the limo, the girls are dancing to the music. End of flash.) Limo Driver: We call it the "champagne ride." Vartann: Oh, yeah? Limo Driver: It's nice. Vartann: So what do the girls get paid for this? Limo Driver: The girls, they make uh ... at least twice as much as they do in the clubs, so ... Catherine: Depending on what else they ride. Limo Driver: Oh ... (Inside the limo, Warrick finds a cell phone. He checks the calls and finds them all made by "GISELLE". He finds a small wallet and takes out a Nevada driver's license for: HARRIS, BROOKE 91334 RANCHO DRIVE LAS VEGAS, NV 89123 EXPIRES: 02-17-2006 s*x: F HEIGHT: 5'6" WEIGHT: 105 EYES: BLU HAIR: BRN (Outside, Catherine and Vartann continue to question the limo driver.) Catherine: It's a pretty sweet deal for the guys. Hot chicks getting trashed with no security and nowhere to go. (Warrick steps out from the limo and joins them.) Catherine: And what happens when the girls want to get off? Limo Driver: Usually, it's the guys that are getting off. Warrick: I found something in there besides body fluids. Belongs to the victim, Brooke Harris. You dropped that girl off in a war zone, man. Limo Driver: When the guy paying the tab says he wants to stop, I just stop. (Quick flash of: Inside the limo, the party continues. A man sitting down grabs Brooke Harris, trying to get her to sit on his lap. She pushes him away.) PAYING CUSTOMER: Come on ... Brooke Harris: You know, you've got to sit down and ... PAYING CUSTOMER: Come on ... Brooke Harris: Stop it! Back off, jerk! PAYING CUSTOMER: Stop the bus! Get her off the bus! Brooke Harris: No, I don't want ... I don't want to get ... (End of flash.) Limo Driver: Look, strippers are tough chicks, okay? I figured she'd find a way home, one way or another. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. GISELLS (GYM) - HALLWAY -- DAY] (Catherine talks with Vartann as they walk through the hallway.) Catherine: Brooke Harris was getting calls from a gym? Vartann: Well, the "Giselle" number went straight to voice mail. The voice mail said to contact her here. (They turn and watch the exercise class through the window.) Catherine: And what's the word on the husband? Vartann: Huh? Catherine: The husband. Vartann: Yeah ... no, according to his office, he's away in Laughlin on business. We're still trying to get in touch with him. (Inside the exercise room, the women are dancing around poles.) Instructor: ... swing those legs up and around. Yeah, like a waterfall ... you got it. That's it! SHORT TIME CUT TO: (Catherine and Vartann talk with Giselle.) Giselle: So I called Brooke a few times. So what? She was one of my students. Vartann: You actually teach this? Giselle: Strippers have the best bodies in town. If you want the body, this is how you get it. Trust me, I've been doing this since before I had my driver's license. Catherine: Well, workout is one thing. What is a housewife from Centennial Park doing on a stripper bus with pros? Giselle: She wanted it. Vartann: Come on ... Giselle: No, really. She loved the attention. Loved the fantasy. She wanted to try it for real. See how she stacked up against some real talent. Catherine: And you let her. Giselle: Do I look like her mother? Catherine: You were teaching her a lesson. Giselle: If I'd wanted to do that, I would've sent her to Stripperama, fed her to the wolves. Catherine: And drunk CEOs aren't wolves? They're worse. You know that. That's why you kept calling her. So you could hear all about it, right? Giselle: I was just calling to see how things went. Vartann: Oh, really? Giselle: It's starting to sound like I need a lawyer. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. TRAILER PARK -- DAY] (Brass, Nick, Grissom and an officer head for the house.) Brass: So I pulled all the ROs from all the '97 blue Sunfires in Nevada; one name and address just jumped out ... (They turn into the front walk.) Brass: (shouts) Randy Swansiger. Las Vegas police! Come on out, Randy. (Nick heads over to the car covered with blue plastic and uncovers it. Brass knocks on the front door.) Brass: Walk out slowly, Randy. Nick: Michelin tires. Grissom: Blue car. Broken headlamp. Randy Swansinger: Hey, how's it goin'? Brass: I'm Detective Jim Brass. Remember me? Randy Swansinger: Hey, hey, hey, hey ... whoa, whoa ... what are you guys doing? Brass: You got a couple of DWIs on your record. What have you got to say for yourself, Randy? Randy Swansinger: I was coming home ... been working late ... I guess I fell asleep at the wheel ... (Quick flash of: [NIGHT] The car grazes the wire fence, hits the gas main pipes like a ramp and bullets through the trailer. The trailer explodes. End of flash.) Randy Swansinger: Next thing I know ... crash-boom-bang! The car still worked, so ... (Randy runs. Brass and the others don't follow. They watch as Randy runs to the end of the road, runs into the fence, trips and falls to the ground.) (Grissom turns and looks at Nick, who shakes his head.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GARAGE -- DAY] (Greg has his hand in the soupy mess in the trunk while Sara sits near by, watching.) Sara: Drain plug's probably under the carpet. Greg: I think I found it. (Greg pulls the plug back. The soupy goop splashes on his face. He groans.) Greg: Ahh ... Sara: (shrugs) Technically, that makes you a cannibal. (Sara hand Greg a cloth to wipe his face.) Sara: Grissom would be proud. Greg: Grissom would've tasted it on purpose. (Sara kneels to check under the car. The soupy goo is draining through the bottom of the trunk.) Sara: It's working. [VARIOUS CUTS] (Sara and Greg watch as the soupy goo drains out of the trunk and into plastic canisters with large strainers over it.) (Sara checks inside the car.) (She opens a pink box from Gooeybunz and finds the remains of partially eaten buns inside.) (She cuts through the DO NOT OPEN sticker on the back door.) (Greg sifts through the remains in the strainers. He finds something, washes it off and puts it in a second, smaller container on the side to drain.) (Sara snaps photos of the GM VIN number: 1G2NE54N1PM630014.) (Sara takes a sample of some red goo on the carpet. She reaches in and picks up a cheeseburger wrapper on the floor. Under it, she finds a whole gooey bun. She picks it up and looks at it.) (She dusts the windshield and pulls some prints.) (Greg continues to sift and separate the items in the sieves when Sara walks up to him.) Sara: That makes 34 prints. Jacqui's going to love me. (She watches him.) Sara: You got something? Greg: I think so ... bullet fragment. Copper-jacketed. Rules out a .22. Sara: See, it was worth it. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Hodges walks into the lab to report to Warrick and Catherine.) David Hodges: You better get ready for this because this is going to blow you away. The rust-colored material you found on the victim's head wound ... was rust. Plain old ferric oxide, found on nearly every iron object on the planet earth. Case breaker? No? As they say, "garbage in, garbage out." (Hodges leaves.) Catherine: Um ... the champagne ride picks up strippers near the clubs, but not actually at the clubs. Warrick: Right. The owners don't like that bus coming anywhere near the clubs because they don't make any money off them. Catherine: Well, look, Brooke Harris wasn't planning to die that night. She had to have parked her car somewhere. Warrick: Well, there's a secured parking lot not too far from where the garbage man dropped her off. (Catherine points to the two spots on the map.) Catherine: So, if she parked her car here ... why did she go here? (Warrick's quiet for a moment.) Warrick: Hey, Catherine ... Catherine: Yes? Warrick: Can we talk? (He shows her the ring.) About this? Catherine: Sure. Warrick: You know, what happened to Nick ... it just got me thinking. Life is so short, you know? It's almost ... it's almost shorter than we want to ever believe. Catherine: Live for the day. Warrick: Exactly. So, I, uh ... I've been heading to ask this young lady I've been seeing--Tina--to marry me. Catherine: You know that I'm happy for you. Warrick: Yeah? Catherine: Yeah. Warrick: But it also feels like you're not so happy for me. Catherine: Warrick ... you know, the thing that makes a fantasy great is the possibility that it might come true. And when you lose that possibility ... it just kind of sucks. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BALLISTICS LAB -- DAY] (Bobby Dawson reports his findings to Greg.) Bobby Dawson: Okay, Mr. Greg, your most likely match is a .44 round recovered from a drug-related shoot-out in Mesquite five days ago. Case is still open. Greg: That's roughly two days after the bodies ended up in the trunk. Maybe our vics were the beginning of a little crime spree. Thanks. (Greg leaves the lab, heading in one direction. Coming down the hallway from the other direction are Sofia and Sara.) Sofia Curtis: I ran the Grand Am's VIN. Last RO was a tow yard over by Nellis. Vehicle's most likely an impound, sold under the table to some scammer who faked his tags. Sara: You're not going to get far in that direction. Sofia Curtis: I know. What about prints? (Sara hands the file to Sofia.) Sara: 13 different IDs. Some off work cards, some off felonies ranging from assault, B&E, cocaine trafficking. Sofia Curtis: Well, even if I do manage to track them all down, there's no guarantee any of these were involved with the vics. Sara: Well, they didn't put themselves in the trunk, and unless they were shot right there at the curb, somebody drove the car there. You're the detective. (smiles) Go detect. (Sara leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- DAY] (Robbins prods through the skeletal remains as he shares his findings with Sara and Greg.) Robbins: Fully developed skeletal structure consistent with an adult male. The medial end of the clavicle's almost fused. Suggests he's about 25 years old. Lack of prognathism indicates he's Caucasian. The female, however, is Prognathic ... (He moves to the second body.) ... and that suggests Negroid. Unfused epiphysial ends make her a teenager. Sara: White male, younger black female ... racially motivated? Greg: Could be a Son of Sam thing. Summertime, couple on a date, making out in the car. Berkowitz used a .44. Robbins: Gunshot wounds are most likely COD for both. Female shows an entry wound at the rear of the skull. Exit wound took off most of her face. (Robbins moves back to the first body.) Robbins: Male has no exit wound, but the entry wound ... is pretty obvious. (Quick flash of: [MOUTH POV] The gun fires through the partially opened mouth. End of flash.) Robbins: Bullet never left the skull. Greg: (nods) That would explain the bullet fragments. Sara: What we need are IDs. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Greg reads off what he found to Sara, who is sitting next to him.) Greg: No missing persons filed for Caucasian males between 20 and 30 in the last two weeks, but there are possibles for the girl. Sara: Hm. (The monitor reads: {POSSIBLE 0} MISSING: JULY 18, 2005 s*x: FEMALE RACE: AFRICAN-AMERICAN {POSSIBLE 2} DANIELLE WATERS DOB: SEPT. 8, 1992 AGE: 13 HEIGHT: 5'3" WEIGHT: 95 LBS HAIR: BROWN EYES: BLACK MISSING: AUGUST 31, 2005 s*x: FEMALE RACE: AFRICAN AMERICAN CURRENTLY MISSING: 47 AGE GROUP: 13-17 N/A s*x: M/F F RACE: AFRICAN-AMERICAN N/A DAYS OR MORE MISSING 10 FILE SECURE: Y/N Y Greg: Two cases still open. Thirteen seems a little young. Sara: Could be a kidnapping. (Greg scrolls down the screen to POSSIBLE 3.) CLARA JAMES DOB: MAY 14, 1989 AGE: 16 HEIGHT: 5'2" WEIGHT: 132 LBS HAIR: BLACK EYES: BLACK MISSING: SEPT. 8, 2005 s*x: FEMALE RACE: AFRICAN AMERICAN Greg: The other one's 16. Sara: This is one time it would be better to stay missing. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT -- ] (Sofia talks with Mr. James as he puts the things they requested on the desk in front of her.) Mr. James: I also brought her toothbrush and her hairbrush. (He takes out some files.) This one's from her doctor. Other's from her dentist. (Sofia's looking at a framed photo of Clara James.) Mr. James: How long is it going to take you? Sofia Curtis: That's hard to say. Mr. James, was Clara by any chance seeing an older man? Mr. James: As far as I know, she wasn't seeing anybody but it wouldn't surprise me if she was. Clara wasn't smart when it came to people, talking to any lowlife chump who'd give her the time of day. The girl never did listen to a damn word I said. Sofia Curtis: The older man ... Um ... could've been someone she met at school? (He shakes his head, no.) Sofia Curtis: Did she have a part-time job? Mr. James: Gooeybunz, over on El Dorado. Sofia Curtis: We found a number of half-eaten Gooeybunz in the car. Mr. James: You know, Clara wasn't really that smart about her diet either, but she hated those things. Smell'd get into her clothes. By the time she got home, she was practically ready to throw up. You find out who did this ... you let me know. Sofia Curtis: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Sara takes out the bun parts from the plastic bag.) Sara: According to Clara James' father, Clara didn't eat Gooeybunz. She didn't like them, which means it was either the killer or the male DB. Greg: So we're looking for ... bite marks? If we find a good impression, maybe we'll get an ID through dental records. Sara: You got it. Greg: And the student becomes a master. (Sara looks at Greg. He smiles at her.) (Together, they search through the bun parts.) Greg: I'm not seeing any bite marks. Sara: Me either. It's not like they were bitten at all. More like torn apart. Greg: Check it out. They might all be in pieces ... but they're all still here. No one ever ate any of them. Which is kinda weird. I mean, why buy all of 'em and not eat 'em? (She looks at the whole bun in the bag.) Sara: I found this one under a passenger seat -- intact, on the floor. (She takes it out of the bag and examines it.) Greg: It escaped the carnage. (She sees something and pulls out a small plastic bag of drugs.) Greg: That's not frosting. Sara: I always liked the middle part the best. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [EXT. FLAT FEE PARKING -- DAY] (The sign reads: FLAT FEE PARKING $10.00. Catherine and Warrick head for the parking lot.) Warrick: When she parks her car, she's a hot housewife. A few hours later, she's just another freak. (Quick flash of: Brooke Harris hands the car keys to the attendant.) Brooke Harris: Hello. Thank you. (She walks away.) (Cut to: Brooke Harris runs over wearing the plastic bag.) Brooke Harris: It's my Mercedes, okay? I can prove it. Just give me the keys. Attendant: Show me ten bucks or you ain't proving squat. Brooke Harris: I don't have anywhere to go! (End of flash. Resume to present.) Catherine: Brooke Harris probably spent ten bucks a day on nonfat lattes. Warrick: Right. Catherine: She needed money to get her car back. Warrick: Well, I don't see any ATMs around here. This is a bad place to be broke. (They walk up to the officer.) Officer DA Michaels: Hey, you miss me? (Warrick looks at the rust on the metal pole holding the crime scene tape up.) Warrick: Rusty flakes. (He touches the rust on the pole and looks up at the officer.) Warrick: Hey, Michaels, did you put this crime tape up? Officer DA Michaels: Yes, sir. (Warrick also sees the blood on the pole.) Warrick: Yeah, well, you missed something. There's blood on this rebar. Catherine: Where'd you find that? Officer DA Michaels: I, uh ... I just picked it up over there ... (He points to the area between the buildings. Catherine and Warrick head over there and find a homeless person sitting near the wall.) Catherine: May I ask you a question? (She shows him the photo.) Catherine: Do you recognize this woman? Homeless Person: She's a thief. She took some money out of my hat. (Quick flash of: [NIGHT] Brooke Harris creeps up to the homeless man's hat of money and snatches a handful. She turns and runs. Homeless Person: Hey! Hey! (He grabs the rebar and runs after her. He hits her on the head.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Homeless Person: Stealing's a crime. Catherine: Hey, Michaels. Think you might be able to take this man into custody? (Officer Michaels takes out his handcuffs and heads over to the homeless person.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAST VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - EVENING] [INT. CSI - LAB -- NIGHT] (Sara and Greg go over their information.) Sara: Tox confirmed that the packet in the Gooeybun contained cocaine, and one of the prints that I lifted off the Grand Am was a felony conviction for cocaine trafficking - (She pulls up the information on the monitor: JOEY ZACK DOB: SEPT 5, 1979 AGE: 25 HGT: 5'10" WGT: 180 LBS HAIR: BROWN EYES: BROWN RACE: CAUCASIAN s*x: MALE ADDRESS: BURTON HOTEL 2321 TOP WAY LAS VEGAS, NV 89156 CONVICTIONS: Drug dealer, probation 1 year in Mar 2004 NOTES: prints found on stolen car radio tuner (Sara glances at Greg.) Sara: Joey Zack, drug dealer. Seems he liked to use Gooeybunz to move his coke. (Quick flash of: Close-up of: Someone cuts out the middle of the bun and pops a bag of coke inside before covering it up again. End of flash.) Sara: He's a nice regular customer at Gooeybunz. He used to chat up cute Clara when he was there, sweet-talks her into a date, and they both end up dead in his bitchin' Grand Am. Greg: Well, whoever did it must've done it for the drugs. (Hodges enters the lab and hands Sara the report. She looks through it. Greg notes the comments on the monitor. ) Hodges: GCMs on the melted gloves from your Grand Am. A delicious confection of sugar, gelatin, starches, citric acid, mineral oil, red 40, yellow 5, blue 1 and carnuba wax. (Greg turns and leaves the lab.) Sara: Candy. Hodges: Gummy candy. I'm partial to Jujubes myself. Is it something I said? Sara: (smiles) Probably. (Greg returns carrying the radio.) Greg: Joey Zack's print was found on the radio, which was tuned to 107 FM. (Greg turns the radio on.) Now, as far as I know, there is only one place in town where you can get gummies, a generic cheeseburger, and 107.1 gets anything other than static. (Greg finds the station and all we hear is static.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DRIVE-IN -- NIGHT] (The sign outside reads: THIS WAY TO THE MOONLIGHT! TUNE YOUR RADIO TO 107.1FM FOR SOUND ) Drive-in Manager: Sorry, I don't recognize him. Most of the time when people come here, it's dark. Greg: How about this? You ever seen this car before? Drive-in Manager: No. All I remember from the last two weeks is what's playing 'cause I've seen it 8,000 times:"Killer Punch" --a big draw for crap cars. Sofia Curtis: We're gonna need to talk to your employees. Drive-in Manager: (groans) Oh, come on, please. Is that really necessary? Sofia Curtis: It's a homicide investigation. Greg: We could just call the health inspector and ... see how many code violations he has festering in that concession stand. Drive-in Manager: Geez, fine, knock yourselves out. Jerry's on tickets ... Maddox runs the projector, and Darryl's in concessions. No. No, he quit last week. Sofia Curtis: Why? Drive-in Manager: He said he was gonna go live with his parents up in Mesquite. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM ] (Sofia goes through the papers on Darryl Blakeney with Greg, Sara and Grissom.) Sofia Curtis: Guy's name is Darryl Blakeney. (She hands it to Grissom.) Small-time hood with priors for B&E and possession. Sara: His prints were on the steering wheel of the Grand Am. Greg: When he quit his job at the drive-in, he was in court-ordered rehab. Sofia Curtis: We figured Blakeney was one of Joey Zack's customers. One night, Blakeney sees his coke dealer's Grand Am at the drive-in, and the fiend snaps. (Quick flash of: Darryl Blakeney walks up to the car and bursts into the back seat. Clara James and Joey Zack are in the front seat with the Gooeybunz. He holds the gun on them.) Darryl Blakeney: Move, and you're dead! Shut up! Joey Zack: All right, all right, all right! Darryl Blakeney: Give me the coke, Joey! Give me the coke! (He grabs the box, knocking the bun on the floor.) (End of flash.) Grissom: Do we know where he killed them? Greg: We don't know where yet. Sofia Curtis: Or why. Sara: Maybe the girl started freaking out; maybe Blakeney's just a psycho. Anyway, uh, Blakeney tossed the bodies, and throws them in the trunk and drives home. The street where the Grand Am was found is a block away from his last known residence. Greg: He leaves it there collecting parking tickets, skips town, and uses the same gun two days later in another drug-related crime in Mesquite. Sofia Curtis: The scumbag's still in the wind. Grissom: At least he's in the system with a double homicide. Sofia Curtis: That's not going to satisfy Clara James' father. (Sara sighs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LOCKER ROOM] (Catherine, Warrick and Nick are in the locker room getting ready to leave. Nick needles Warrick. ) Nick: Can she cook? Is she a good cook? Come on, Warrick. (Warrick sighs. Nick sees Grissom walk by the door and catches him.) Nick: Hey, Grissom. We're taking Warrick to the Pepper Mill to celebrate his marriage and to condemn his elopement. You in? Grissom: Did you invite your wife? Warrick: I don't think I'm ready to subject her to the crew just yet. Catherine: I got to beg off, you guys. Got to take Lindsay to school. Nick: All right. Catherine: Bye. (Catherine closes her locker and leaves.) Nick: Bye. So? Grissom: I got one more thing to do. (Grissom leaves.) Nick: All right. (Nick glances at Warrick, who shakes his head and closes his locker.) Warrick: Don't. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - A/V LAB -- DAY] (Grissom and Archie are listening to the recording.) Walter Gordon: (from recording) So, breathe quick. Breathe slow. Put your gun in your mouth and pull the trigger. Any way you like, you're going to die here. Okay? Voice 2: (from recording) Perfect. (Grissom rewinds it a little.) Walter Gordon: (from recording) Okay? Voice 2: (from recording) Perfect. (Archie looks at Grissom.) Archie: How'd you know it was going to be there? Grissom: If that "okay" had been meant for Nick, it wouldn't have been in the form of a question. I think maybe Walter Gordon had an accomplice. (Grissom plays it again.) Voice 2: (from recording) Perfect. Grissom: Male or female? Archie Johnson: It's, um ... hard to say. The tape was pretty mangled. Enhancement and noise cancellation increase intelligibility, but it alters timber and tone. So, I don't know there's any more I can do here. You know, Nick recorded a message on the flip side of the tape. You think maybe we should ... Grissom: No. This is between you and me. (Camera holds on Grissom.)

Plan: A: The team; Q: Who tackles three separate cases? A: a stripper; Q: Who was found dead in the worst part of town? A: the killer; Q: What do Greg and Sara try to find in the case of two bodies found in a car trunk? A: five days; Q: How long were the bodies of the two bodies found in the trunk of a car? A: a car; Q: Where were the bodies of two people found decomposed in the trunk of? Summary: The team tackles three separate cases: Grissom and Nick investigate the case of a murdered couple found in bed in a suspicious trailer explosion; Catherine and Warrick look into the death of a stripper discovered dead in the worst part of town; and Greg and Sara try to find the killer of two bodies found decomposed after spending five days in the trunk of a car.

ACT ONE Scene One - Apartment It is morning, and Niles is playing the piano softly as Martin sits down to breakfast. Outside, it is pouring rain. Daphne brings a fry-up platter from the kitchen. Daphne: I love it when he plays the piano. No matter how gloomy it is outside, it makes everything seem a little brighter. Martin: I feel the same way about bacon. [serves himself] Daphne: He's so lucky to be musical. [to Niles, who has stopped] I'd give my right hand to be able to play the piano the way you do. Niles: Hmm, sounds a bit like O. Henry meets Steven King... [kisses her] but still, if you're serious, I'd be willing to give you lessons. Daphne: I'd love that! I've wanted to play ever since I was little, and my family would sing rugby songs after my brothers' matches. I can still see them, all muddied and bloodied, belting out songs like "The Old She-Crab" and "I Like A Moose." Once, one of Michael's teeth fell out right in the middle of "Four Old Whores"! As Martin and Niles trade a look, Frasier comes out in his suit. Martin: Hey, Fras. How was your date last night? Frasier: I'm having breakfast with you. You do the math. Niles: Coffee? Frasier: Oh, please. Thank you, Niles. Martin: Well, here's something that will cheer you up: eight years ago today, I moved in with you. Frasier: Eight years? Are you sure? Niles: Tbis is quite an anniversary. You weren't even with Lilith for eight years. Frasier: Please, Niles, I hardly think it's the same thing. Daphne: It's not that different. If you were a woman, you'd be his common-law wife by now. Frasier: Oh, well now, I don't think that's- Daphne: And think about this: if that date of yours had been the perfect woman, you'd still have to be with her nine years before you overtook him! Niles: Yes, and actually if you add the eighteen years he spent at home prior to college; well, they've been together twenty- six years. Martin: So we just missed our silver anniversary? Frasier: All right... Niles: Yes, but good news: your 30th is Pearl! [chuckles] Daphne: Well, I think it's a remarkable accomplishment. Happy anniversary, Dr. and Mr. Crane! They all raise their coffee cups - all except Frasier, who looks anything but cheered up. Niles: Yes, hear hear... Frasier: [as they clink their cups together and grin at him; sarcastic] Ha, ha! [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Two - Cafe Nervosa Frasier and Roz are sat at a table together. Roz: I'm so sorry it didn't work out with Lucy last night, but don't worry. I have tons of other friends better than her. Frasier: Well, thanks for starting at the bottom and working your way up. Daphne and Martin come in. Daphne is carrying a piano instruction book. Daphne: Hey Roz, Dr. Crane. They ad-lib hellos. Roz: What, are you taking piano lessons? Daphne: Yeah, Niles is gonna teach me. Roz: I'm so jealous! I've always wanted to learn to play. Daphne: Well, why don't you sit in with us? Roz: Really? Well, do you think Niles would mind? Daphne: Of course not - and even if he does, he's so polite you'll never know. A waiter comes over. Waiter: Hi, I'd like to tell you about our new frozen coffee drink, the "Caffalanche." It comes in three flavors: "FrostyCoffee," "So Cocoa Cold"... [checks his pad] and "Chilla In Vanilla"! Daphne: I'll try the "So Cocoa Cold." Martin: Uh, black coffee, thanks. [the waiter leaves] I hate what's happened to coffee. Frasier: Dad... Martin: Well, I'm just saying I'm a regular joe and- Frasier/Martin: ...I like my joe regular. Frasier: I know, I know. Martin: Well, what's wrong with liking plain old coffee, the way God made it? Frasier: Nothing! What is wrong is subjecting me to the same shop- worn bellyaching every time you come in here. Martin: Well, excuse me for having an opinion you don't agree with, I thought this was America. [looks around] Oh look, it is. [gets up] I'm going to get my coffee to go. He goes to the counter. Daphne: That was a bit harsh, Dr. Crane. Frasier: It has been eight years of the same complaints about the same things in the same places. Honestly, sometimes I think he does it just to antagonize me. Roz: [to Daphne, laughing] They're just like an old married couple! It's cute, isn't it? Daphne: Yeah... Martin: [as he leaves] Well, I got my black coffee - of course, it was more expensive than a whole meal used to be. Time was, you could get two eggs, potatoes, choice of breakfast meats- Frasier: And still get change back from the nickel! Will you just take your coffee? Martin: [to the girls] See how he talks to me? And on our anniversary, too. Frasier: Oh! Martin leaves. [SCENE_BREAK] THE RECLINE AND FALL OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION Scene Three - Apartment Niles is seated between Roz and Daphne on the piano bench. All three have their hands poised above the keyboard without touching it. Niles: Now, I want you to position your hands over the keyboard, fingers relaxed... [they wiggle their fingers] elbows loose... [they wiggle their elbows] Good. O.K., shoulders low... [they droop their shoulders] Good, good, how are we doing? Daphne: Fine. Niles: Excellent. Roz: O.K., I guess. Niles: Good, good. Roz: So when do we get to press down on the keys? [accidentally presses one] Niles: Whoa, whoa! We have a lot to learn first. It could be weeks before we press down on the keys. Daphne: I want to play a song! Roz: Yeah, isn't that why we're here? Niles: Well, all in due time. Here, wait, just watch my hands while I play a scale. Watch this... He plays a scale. Frasier comes out. Frasier: Pardon me, Niles, but there was a television program I planned on watching. Niles: Oh, of course. Uh, we'll continue the lesson in Daphne's room. Daphne: Well, how can we learn without a piano? Niles: With these workbooks, and a box of adhesive stars! Daphne and Roz share a look of exasperation as they follow Niles into the hallway. Frasier turns on the TV and sits on the couch, with Eddie sitting next to him. As he gets comfortable, Martin comes out with a bag of pretzels and a beer. Martin: [shudders] That guy sure looks cold. What are we watching? Frasier: I'm watching "Lost on the Mountain." Martin: Ah. He drops the pretzels on the coffee table and sits in his Armchair. Martin: Is that the mountain? Frasier: [coldly] Yes. Martin: Well, they sure don't look lost. Frasier: That's the search party. Martin: Oh. [beat] So who's lost? Frasier: Apparently you are. If you don't stop interrupting, I will be too. Martin takes the hint and reaches for the bag of pretzels. It makes a loud crinkle as he grasps it, and another as he tries to open it, unsuccessfully. Catching Frasier's annoyed look, he tries to do it quietly. To the other side of Frasier, Eddie sits up expectantly. After much rattling and crinkling, Martin opens the bag and takes a bite of one, making a loud crunch. The noise has all but drowned out the TV. Martin: [mouth full] Pretzel? Frasier doesn't even respond. Martin tosses the bag on the table again, and then reclines backward. The Chair squeaks loudly. Frasier: Do you mind? Martin: Sorry! He reaches for the bag again, but it is out of reach. Mindful of the noise level, he inches the Chair forward little by little, making a squeak every time, and a thump when the footrest hits the bottom. He reaches the bag, making another loud crinkle. He pauses, worried. Frasier eyes him balefully. Then Martin reclines backward again, making another loud squeak. Frasier: Oh, honestly, Dad! Is there nothing you can do that doesn't create some sort of cacophony?! Martin: Well, I didn't do it on purpose, I was trying to be considerate! Frasier: If you were considerate, you would have oiled that chair when it began squeaking five years ago! Martin: Boy, I don't know what's gotten into you, but you've been a real jerk lately. Maybe you should watch TV somewhere else. Frasier: I should go elsewhere? I? Just what do you suggest, that I find a documentary barn and watch it on their big screen? [gets up] You know what, I am- I'm just going to go take a walk, all right, and leave you with the television. [grabs a coat from the rack] You enjoy yourself. Good day! He grabs his keys and exits, slamming the door. A second later he comes back in. Frasier: I wish you would stop hanging your coat on my peg! As he hangs up Martin's coat and grabs his own, we DISSOLVE TO: Scene Four - Later The Armchair is lying on its back. Martin is kneeling on the floor, applying oil to the hinges. Niles comes in. Niles: Dad? Martin: [from behind the Chair] Down here. Niles: [sees the Chair, alarmed] Oh my God, Dad! [runs over and sees him] Oh, I thought you'd capsized. Martin: No, I was oiling my chair. The squeaking was bugging Frasier. Niles: Oh. [gasps] The carpet is a whole shade lighter under there. Ooh, except for those little black dots you just made. Martin: Oh, shoot! I better get a towel. [gets up] Niles: No, I'll get it. Martin: No, it's all right, I'll get it- He takes a step toward the kitchen and accidentally steps on the oil bottle, squirting a huge black streak onto the carpet. They both gasp. Martin: Oh my God! Niles: I'll get something to pick up the grease and clean it up! Even as Niles runs into the kitchen, Frasier comes back from his walk - and gapes at the stain. Frasier: What the hell's happened? Martin: Now, don't get upset. I was oiling my chair, trying to get rid of the squeak, and I had a little spill. Frasier: A little spill? I just this carpet cleaned! Martin: Well, I'm sorry, it was an accident. Frasier: Sure, Dad! "It was an accident." Niles: [applying paper towels] It was an accident, I saw him step on it. Frasier: Niles, you know as well as I do there are no accidents! Just admit it, Dad: your latent hostility toward me has been building through the years, little by little, until you've finally struck the Achilles Heel of my decor, the Berber carpet! Martin: I did not do this on purpose! Frasier: No? I suggest you dig deep into the twisted caves of your subconscious, where malicious acts abide, clothed in the robes of plausible excuses! Martin: For the last time, this was not malicious, it was an accident! Frasier: I don't think you know the difference! Martin: Yes, I do! That was an accident! [squirts oil all over Frasier's shirt and face] THIS is malicious! Martin storms out of the living room, while Frasier just stands there, quivering with outrage. Niles double-checks the label of the cleaning fluid he's holding and gives it an extra-vigorous shake. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Five - Later Workmen carry swatches of the old carpet out. Niles and Frasier are sat on the hardwood steps at the back of the room. All the furniture from the carpeted areas has been piled onto the balcony outside. Niles: What color is the new carpet? Frasier: I'm going up a shade... to "Harvest Wheat." Niles: I thought the next shade up was "Buff." Frasier: It used to be, but they've discovered a whole new color in between. Niles: So now it's "Tofu, Putty, Oatmeal"... Both: "Almond, Harvest Wheat"... Frasier: "and Buff." Niles: That's going to be hard to get used to. [Frasier nods] Where's Daphne? [checks his watch] Frasier: Oh, she's out taking a walk with Dad. An extra-long walk. Things have been a little tense around here since the quote- unquote "accident." Niles: It was an accident. [goes to refill their sherries] As they talk, a close-up of the balcony shows disaster irrevocably unfolding: The telescope is angled towards the sun, and the eyepiece focuses the light like a magnifying glass out to the balcony, onto the seat of the Armchair, which is already beginning to smoke. Frasier: Well, maybe. But don't you think the man should work on some of his unresolved anger toward me? Niles: If you're asking me to choose sides, I'm not going to do it. Frasier: The man just brings such... hostility into the room! [sighs; Niles brings his sherry] Thank you. You know, I've been thinking, of, uh... sending him someplace. Niles: Like to a resort? Frasier: Like to live with you. Niles: Oh yes, the last resort. Making Dad move in with me does not solve your problem, it simply avoids it. The Chair is now billowing. Frasier: Oh, don't you start preaching to me about avoidance. You've been avoiding living with him for eight years. Niles: I refuse to discuss this. Frasier: And I refuse your refusal! Niles: I- [stops and sniffs the air] Is something burning? Frasier: [sniffs] Smells like it. Niles: Are you cooking? Frasier: And what is that supposed to mean? They finally notice the balcony. Frasier: Oh dear God! The chair!! Both: Oh my God! Frasier: Here, Niles, Niles, hand me this drop cloth here, I'm going to smother it with it! Niles: Right! [does] Be careful, be careful, be careful! Quickly, quickly, quickly, just-just-just... Frasier: All right... He reaches out to drape the cloth, and accidentally pushes the Chair off the balcony. Frasier: OH MY GOD!!! Niles: [yelling down] OH, LOOK OUT!!! [SCENE_BREAK] Down on the street, Martin and Daphne are walking Eddie. Above them, Frasier and Niles' yelling can be faintly heard, but they don't notice. Daphne: ...Dr. Crane's moods never last very long. I'm sure we've seen the worst of it. CRASH! The still-smoking Armchair hits the sidewalk less than two feet in front of them and disintegrates. Daphne clutches Martin's arm, while Eddie cowers between their legs. They gape up at the 19th floor. END OF ACT ONE ACT TWO Scene Six - Hallway Frasier is frantically calling the elevator. Niles tries to calm him. Frasier: What do we do?! What do we say?! Niles: All right, all right, calm down. The important thing is it didn't hit anyone. Frasier: Yes, at least we have that! But how do we explain this?! Niles: We-we just tell them what happened as clearly and rationally as possible. Frasier: Right! Right! Rational! The doors open to reveal Martin, alone. Frasier: Oh my God, did you feel that earthquake?! Martin: What the hell happened?! Niles: Where's Daphne? Martin: She's down cleaning up the mess! Niles hurries into the elevator. Frasier follows Martin inside. Frasier: Dad, I can explain! Martin: You threw my chair off the balcony?! Frasier: I'm so sorry! Just hear me out... Martin: Are you crazy? Frasier: Well, I didn't mean to! Martin: Forget what it means to me, you could have killed someone! Frasier: It was an accident! Martin: You said there are no accidents! Frasier: But clearly I was wrong! I mean, why on earth would I do such a thing? Martin: [seething] Because you've always been gunning for that chair! I accidentally stain your carpet, and you set fire to the one thing in this apartment I care about and HEAVE it out into the street! Frasier: Dad, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to! Please, forgive me! I'll buy you another chair- Martin: Ah, don't do me any favors! [stalks to his room] Frasier: No, please, Dad, look, I know you're angry right now, and that's normal. I'll tell you what, the healthiest thing you can do right now- Martin: Want to know the healthiest thing you can do? Frasier: Shut my yap. Martin: BINGO! He exits. [SCENE_BREAK] KNEES OFF THE KEYS PLEASE Scene Seven - Apartment Niles stands over Daphne, who is trying to play a simple scale. Niles: [as she slowly plays each note] Yes... yes... yes... [she hits two keys together] No. Daphne: [gets up in frustration] I don't like this exercise, it's too hard! Niles: [takes her place] No, no, no, no, you're doing fine, you just have to loosen up. Look, I'll show you. See? [plays a fluid ripple of notes with one hand] It's just a little finger exercise. Daphne: [fondles his ears] I know another little finger exercise. Niles: [chuckles, then] Daphne, you're not paying attention. Daphne: Yes, I am. [sits next to him] Why don't we just cancel the lesson and spend the day together? Niles: No, no. What kind of teacher would I be if I did that? Daphne: Oh, that's right. You're the teacher... [strikes a prim and penitent pose] And I'm the naughty student who wouldn't do her homework. Niles looks at her... and grabs her, bending her over the bench, half-raising his knee and plunking it down loudly on the keys... The doorbell rings. Niles: [stops] Oh. That'll be Roz. [realizing his hard-on] Could you get that? She gets up and opens the door to Roz. Daphne: Hey, Roz. Roz: Hey, Daphne. Niles: Hey, Roz! Roz: Niles! As Niles stands up to face her, he holds the sheet music low, over his crotch. Niles: How'd it go this week? Roz: OK, I guess. [hangs her coat up] But those exercises aren't easy. Daphne: See? Niles: All right, all right, look, if I'm going too fast, we'll make some adjustments. Just-just do the best you can. Roz shakes herself loose, sits at the piano, takes a deep breath, and plays a simple one-handed scale - slowly, but without a single mistake. Niles: [ecstatic, slaps her shoulder with the book] That's great! Do it again. Roz repeats the scale, and Niles plays a different one beside her, producing a slow a slow but sure-footed duet of Mozart's "Concerto No. 21." Roz is excited, Daphne looks hurt. Niles: You see, Daphne, that's a song. Daphne: You said we weren't going to be playing songs. Niles: [to Roz] Wait, wait, go down one. She does, easily, and they start the piece again. Niles: Yes, good! Roz: Oh my God, this is so cool! Daphne: I want to play a song. Niles: Well... and you will, Daphne, as soon as you master your exercises. You know, why don't you try playing along on your practice pad? Daphne goes to the coffee table. Niles and Roz start the piece again while Daphne tries to follow along. Daphne: [makes another mistake] Oh, shoot. She sinks her head down onto the table. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Eight - Cafe Nervosa Frasier and Niles are sat at a table. Martin comes in with Eddie, at which Frasier stiffens up. Martin: Hello, Niles. Niles: Hey, Dad. Um, taking Eddie for a walk? Martin: Yeah, I was afraid if I left him home, Frasier would set him on fire and throw him off the balcony. [goes to the counter] Frasier: You see what I'm putting up with? Niles: Are you going to let this go on forever? Frasier: Me? He's the one who keeps insisting I was lashing out deliberately - which I was not, although God knows it would have been justified. Niles: What, because of the oil? Frasier: This is a lot deeper and a lot darker than oil, and you know it. The man will not get off my back. Niles: It seems to me you've been giving as good as you've been getting. Frasier: Oh, please. Ever since our so-called anniversary, he keeps insisting on- Niles: Wait, whoa, whoa. What does your anniversary have to do with this? Pause, as Frasier decides to be honest with himself. Frasier: Well, I guess it just set me off. It was as though everyone was saying that the only significant relationship I'll ever have again is with my father. Niles: So you're not mad at Dad. You're just mad that he isn't a woman. Martin comes back with his coffee. Martin: Well, I got my coffee, nothing fancy. But if you don't like it, you're welcome to set it on fire and throw it off the balcony. Bye, Niles. Niles: No, wait, Dad. Frasier just said something very interesting to me... Frasier: Niles- Niles: -that I think you should hear. Frasier: Niles- Niles: No, please, let me help you through this. [sits Martin next to Frasier] Don't forget, I've done my share of couples' counseling. Frasier: We are not a couple! Niles: I'm sorry, I only meant that I'm an experienced mediator. Now, Frasier, tell Dad what you were just telling me. Frasier: [long pause] All right. I think... that anniversary talk stirred up some issues for me. That our relationship is the only one I'll ever have. That for all intents and purposes... you are my significant other. Beat. Martin: And that's my fault? Frasier: I didn't say it was your fault, Dad! Martin: You know, you think it's a picnic living with you? It's not exactly my dream either, you know... Niles: OK, no, wait, wait, honesty, this is good. Frasier: I'm just saying, that I-I've had a bit of a breakthrough. Martin: Oh, dandy! You've had a breakthrough and I've lost my chair! Maybe I can sit on your breakthrough! Frasier: I'll tell you what you can sit on...! Niles: [as they lean towards each other, glaring] OK, OK, OK, wait, wait, wait. Let's just keep this constructive. Now, if you're going to make any progress, you're both going to have to compromise. Now which one of you is willing to take the first step? Long pause. Frasier: Allow me. He gets up and purposefully strides out of the cafe. Martin gets up. Martin: Do this for a living, do you? [leaves] Niles: [chokes out the words] I do it because I enjoy working with people! [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Nine - Apartment Daphne and Niles are at the piano again. Daphne: Niles, I've been thinking: maybe you and Roz should continue without me. Niles: Why would we do that? Daphne: Because she's good! Niles: Just a second- Daphne: No, no, no, don't worry about me. I'll find something easier to play - like a stick. Niles: Daphne, I'm not going to let you quit. You're just a slow starter. It may require a little more time, but you'll improve. Daphne: You really think so? Niles: You have to trust me. [kisses her] I don't care how long it takes, I'm going to make a pianist out of you. Daphne: Thank you. [hunches over the keyboard again] You know, you're much nicer than my old piano teacher. [starts playing slow, halting notes] Niles: [taken aback] You took lessons in this before? Daphne: Oh, yeah. Eight years of them. Mr. Cruikshank. You know, he once played at the Royal Albert Hall. Niles: Oh. Why did you stop taking the lessons, honey? Daphne: Well, it turns out Mr. Cruikshank was an unstable man. Took his own life. Do you know, I was the last person to see him alive. As she continues playing, Niles looks borderline terrified. Frasier comes in. Niles: Dad! Frasier's here! Frasier notices a large something sitting where Martin's Chair was, wrapped in blue cloth and tied with a pink bow. Martin comes out, anticipatory. Frasier: What's this? Martin: It's something I got to tell you how sorry I am for being such a sorehead. Frasier: Oh, Dad... I'm overwhelmed. Martin: Tied the bow myself. Just pull on it, it'll come right off. Frasier pulls the cloth away, revealing a simple-but-tasteful black leather recliner. Frasier: Oh... oh, how unexpected. Martin: You don't like it. Frasier: No, no, I-I do. It's just that- Martin: I got some guy named Eduardo to help me, I figured I couldn't miss. Frasier: It's divine. Martin: That's what Eduardo said. Frasier: There's just... one problem. Martin: Well, now, if you don't like it... Frasier: I know - I can set it on fire and throw it over the balcony. Martin: No, I just meant you could take it back. I want you to be happy. Niles: [pointedly] Frasier, I think this is a wonderful gesture on Dad's part. Frasier: I do, too, Niles, I do. I'm-I'm very touched, Dad. Thank you, thank you so much. [hugs Martin] Uh, it's just that... I had something else in mind. Uh- The doorbell rings. Frasier goes to answer it. Martin: Well, I give up. Try to do a nice thing... Niles: Frasier, what is the matter with you?! Frasier opens the door to two moving men, carrying a familiar-shaped object wrapped in a white dropcloth. Frasier: Ah, good, gentlemen, come right in, please. Uh, just set it right over here. [moves the new chair out of the way, they set it down] Martin: You bought a chair? Thanks for telling me! Frasier: No, just give me a chance here, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. Man: I need somebody to sign for this. Frasier: Yes, of course. Uh, in just a moment, please. Could you wait for me at the door? [they do] Thank you. He stands behind the chair. Frasier: Everyone, I would like to introduce you to the newest member of our furniture family! He whips off the dropcloth. Everyone gasps: it is a perfect replica of Martin's Armchair (minus the duct tape). As they admire it, Frasier, obviously proud of himself, signs for it and sends the moving men on their way. Martin: Oh!... Where did you find this? Frasier: You can't find that, Dad - it doesn't exist anymore. Which is why I contacted a master builder, showed him some photographs, and had him duplicate it. As for the material, I tracked down the original manufacturer, and once I got them to admit they made it, I had them reweave it! [N.B. This is not too far from the truth. The original chair was in fact destroyed, and the technical crew had to build a replacement. They had a great deal of trouble trying to find the original material, until one of them saw an exact match to it adorning a set left over from the original "Star Trek" series, which of course was also filmed at Paramount Studios. This puts a strange spin on Roz's line in Season One's [1.19], "Give Him The Chair!" when she says that someone saw Martin's chair flying over his house, but "thought it was just a spaceship from a tacky planet."] Daphne: It must have cost a fortune! Frasier: Yes - ironically, this is now the most expensive piece of furniture in the entire apartment! Niles: It's beautiful! Martin: [as he sits down] Thank you, son! Niles: Well done, Frasier. Martin: Oh, it feels just the same - I don't want to get up! Frasier: Well, that's a shame, because I was planning on taking us both out to dinner this evening, Dad - anywhere you'd like! Martin: [gets up] Even the steakhouse? Frasier: Even the steakhouse! [gets their coats] Niles, Daphne, you're welcome to join us. Daphne: Oh, sorry, but we're in the middle of my piano... Niles: Oh, we'd love to. Frasier: You know, I'll bet we can get free pie if we just tell them it's our anniversary! They all laugh as they go out the door. END OF ACT TWO [SCENE_BREAK] Eddie comes out the hallway and sizes up the new chair. He barks at it cautiously, then jumps on to the seat and rolls around. Seemingly satisfied, he settles on it to take a nap.

Plan: A: breakfast; Q: What meal does Martin tell Frasier that the day marks the eighth anniversary of the day he moved in with him? A: Frasier; Q: Who has a new replica of Martin's old chair built? A: The revelation; Q: What makes Frasier unusually touchy? A: his father; Q: Who does Frasier get angry with after he spills oil on the carpet? A: a squeak; Q: What is Martin trying to fix in his recliner? A: the accident; Q: What does Frasier mistake for a deliberate act of hostility? A: the furniture; Q: What does Frasier move onto the balcony while the carpet is replaced? A: a telescope; Q: What is the chair positioned under that catches fire? A: the brothers; Q: Who notices the chair catching fire? A: a positive view; Q: What view of the situation does Martin take after Frasier's recent behavior? A: Frasier's recent behaviour; Q: What causes Martin to accuse Frasier of destroying the chair? A: retaliation; Q: Why does Martin accuse Frasier of destroying his chair? A: Niles; Q: Who offers to teach Daphne piano? A: an exact, new replica; Q: What does Frasier have built of Martin's chair? A: Daphne; Q: Who has expressed an interest in playing the piano? A: her lessons; Q: What does Niles offer to give Daphne? A: her last teacher; Q: Who committed suicide? Summary: Over breakfast one morning, Martin happens to comment to Frasier that the day marks the eighth anniversary of the day that Martin moved in with him. The revelation makes Frasier unusually touchy, especially towards his father. His temper worsens when Martin accidentally spills oil over the carpet when trying to remedy a squeak in his recliner ; Frasier irrationally views the accident as a deliberate act of hostility on Martin's part. He moves the furniture onto the balcony while the carpet is replaced, and the chair, positioned underneath a telescope in direct sunlight, catches fire. When the brothers notice, their efforts to put it out only serve to knock the chair off the balcony . Ill-disposed to take a positive view of the situation after Frasier's recent behaviour, Martin angrily accuses him of deliberately destroying the chair in retaliation. When the hostility between father and son reaches the point where the two are no longer speaking, Niles decides to use his experience as a couples therapist to mediate. Frasier has an exact, new replica of Martin's old chair built. Daphne has expressed an interest in playing the piano, so Niles offers to give her lessons. He also agrees to teach Roz, who picks up the technique much more quickly than Daphne. Niles is willing to persevere with Daphne, until he hears that she has been taught before, and her last teacher committed suicide.

Michael: Welcome children of the Scranton Industrial Park Community. Kids: YAY! Michael: Join your gangsta pumpkin on his palette truck of doom. Don't worry about a thing. Rest assured you will see me later. Bwah ha ha... [bumps into something] ... ha ha ha. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: We are doing a haunted house this Halloween. Which is actually kinda spooky because, as legend has it, on this very site there used to be a productive paper company. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: I am going to scare these kids so bad. [SCENE_BREAK] Darryl: This is the spookiest warehouse in the world, kids. You don't believe me? Just take a look. [Kevin chops into Erin, who is dressed as Princess Fiona] Oh. Scary, huh? This is a surgery with an octopus and a burn victim. Angela: Black widow. Kelly: Lulu from The Fifth Element. Darryl: Nobody told me what people were, alright? So... label yourselves or take what you get. Creed: I want to sell your blood! Ryan: That's really not the trend in vampires right now. Darryl: Here is an old man and a goth dude... and then the old crone from Drag Me to Hell. Meredith: I'm a hobo. Darryl: I asked for a list. [Dwight rides in on a tricycle, laughing diabolically] ...and a clown. Dwight: I'm Jigsaw, idiot. Darryl: You're not as scary as Book Face, over there. Jim: Yes. I am the popular social networking site known as Book Face. Darryl: Ok, kids. You've all been so good and unbelievably patient so I think you are gonna get some candy! Kids: Yeah! [a chair falls over, Michael is seen hanging from the ceiling with a noose around his neck - the kids scream] Michael: Kids, just remember, suicide is never the answer. Alright? [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Why is Christmas the only holiday that can have a message? [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: It is the easy way out. You are not alone. Darryl: What the hell is wrong with you? Michael: Who wants candy? [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: ...and then I think I'm going to go to the Garlic Festival. Jim: Wow. Michael: Sounds like fun. You guys would love it. Jim: I bet we would. Michael: They have a TCBY booth. Jim: Cool. Michael: The same stuff you get downtown. Jim: Mmm-hmm. Michael: Do you like TCBY? Jim: Who doesn't? Michael: I can't believe it's- I can't believe it's yogurt. Uh... it'll be fun Erin: I confirmed with Raskin Design and they're expecting the both of you in an hour. Jim: Oh. Actually, it's just gonna be me. Erin: They said the both of you. Jim: That is a mistake. Michael: You should give them a call. Check that out. Jim: Alright. Let's clear this up. [on phone] Well, there's actually been a few changes in the company and Michael and I are actually at the same level. So, I can- no. Nope. Why would that be a problem? [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Jim's a good kid. He can handle a lot but sometimes you have to call in a master. I, uh... why would you date an amateur when you could date a professional? [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Great. See ya' then. Michael: Wha- what? Jim: They said that they would feel more comfortable if you came along. Michael: Why don't they just want you to go by yourself? Why do they want me to come, too? I don't understand. Jim: I absolutely don't understand, either. Michael: I don't want you to feel like I'm baby-sitting you, or something. Alright. Jim: Alright. Michael: Let me get your stroller. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Sure. Michael's a good teacher. A teacher is someone who stands right next to you your whole life and never lets you do anything. That's what a teacher is, right? [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: What are you gonna call him? Jim: Dave. Michael: No. What is his name? Jim: Dave. Michael: Mr. Bourchard. They're very formal. Jim: Yeah. I've spoken to them on the phone. Michael: Yeah, well... this is not the phone. This is real life, baby, and you gotta own it. Is that what you are wearing? Jim: Yes, it is. Michael: ...and that is the watch that you are going to wear? No. It is not. You should wear this watch. I will loan it to you. It is a Tankard. I highly recommend you wear that. Jim: No thanks. Michael: They are into style. Jim: Mmm-hmm. Michael: They are into appearance. We are selling success. Jim: ...and paper. Michael: That's sorta secondary. [offers Jim the watch again] Jim: Nope. No. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: He's trying to micro-co-manage me... or co-micro... manage... me. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Here we are outside- Andy: WB! Pam: - the Wilkes-Barre Industrial Park. Andy: Industrial P.! Makin' cold calls. Pam: The two people with the lowest sales in the quarter have to do them. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: [singing] Where are you? Dean Trophies. Suite 100. Sherman Blinds and Rugs. Suite 202. Pam: Here it is. [Andy is still singing] Suite 401. Andy: Yeah. I was gonna sing that part. Pam: I know. Now you don't have to. Andy: Except it was going to resolve the melody, so now my head hurts. Feels like I held in a sneeze. Mmm! I hate this feeling. [sings] Suite 401. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Alright. Hi. Any messages? Erin: You're soaking wet. Michael: Uh, well, Jim and I got caught in a little flash rain, flash wind, flash lightning. Phyllis: Wow. Sounds scary. Michael: It was. It was. And then in an instant it wasn't. Angela: Why isn't Jim wet? Jim: I outran it. Meredith: I don't think it rained. My hip would be throbbing. Michael: It rained. Dwight: Michael, can I get you something? A towel? Some cocoa? Michael: Nothing. Cocoa. Jim: I'll just leave that suit in your office then. Michael: Good. Yep. [SCENE_BREAK] Secretary: Must be nice to have company on these cold calls. Andy: We're kind of a dynamic duo. Or trio. [points to Pam's tummy] Secretary: How exciting! Do you guys know the s*x yet? Pam: [Andy shakes his head 'no'] Oh. No, no. [laughing] We're not together. No, no, no. Definitely not. Definitely not. No. We just work together. Andy: [miffed] Looks like somebody's got a case of the definitelies. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: [Michael is walking around in one of Jim's suits] Um, Michael? The custodian from Raskin Design is on the line. He said they found your keys in the Koi pond. Michael: Ok. Thank you. Stanley: Did you say 'Koi pond'? [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [phone rings] Yeah? Erin: Michael, people are asking questions. Michael: Ok. Put them on speaker. Hey guys, what's going on? Phyllis: Michael, did you you fall into a Koi pond? Michael: Uh... I can't really hear you. I think we have sort of a bad connection. Oscar: Jim, did Michael fall into a Koi pond? Jim: Mmm... it's like Michael said. It was some- something else. Michael: It was- Ok. This is what it was. It was these bunch of idiots who had put a fish tank in the ground with no cover and no railing. Angela: So you fell in? Michael: No. Maybe I was trying to save a child that had fallen in. Angela: So a child had fallen in? Michael: Not yet! Kevin: That is hilarious. [extends hand for a fist bump] Michael: No it is- don't! I'm not gonna bump. I'm not gonna bump. And it was not hilarious. It was very, very terrifying. [Stanley laughs] [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Truthfully, it wasn't the way he fell in. It was... how long it took him to get out. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: And we'd like to offer you 15% off your first purchase as our way of welcoming you to the area. Customer: Well that sounds like a really nice deal. Andy: Sha-bow. Customer: And I must say, that since we are a family business it is nice to see that you are, too. Andy: Oh, wow. You thought that- oh, my gosh. Oh. Definitely not. Customer: My mistake. Sorry. Pam: It's ok. Andy: Nuh. Actually, it's kinda not ok. Um, I date models. Face models. My girlfriend, on a scale of one to Giselle, uh... a nine. Customer: That- that's good for you. Pam: Anyway, we also have a special on envelopes. Andy: Pam's carrying our surrogate. Because my girlfriend needed to keep her figure for fashion week. So, we, uh, we put our baby in Pam. Doesn't matter what Pam looks like. Pam: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: You were way meaner to me than I was to you. Andy: No I wasn't. Ok. The very idea of us together made you burst out laughing like you just bit into an Adam Sandler and jelly sandwich. Pam: You blew the sale, you idiot. Andy: Let me tell you something. I was never gonna make that sale. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Erin, do we have any of those clips that hold paper together? Erin: Staples? [Kevin clears his throat] Uh, David Wallace called. Michael: Oh. He did? What did he say? Erin: He heard you made a big splash at the meeting. Oh, my God. That was so mean what I just said and I didn't mean it. It was Kevin and Meredith put me up to it. Michael: Ok. Kevin: [whispers to Erin] I'm gonna kill you. Stanley: Michael, don't listen to them. Michael: Thank you, Stanley. Stanley: You just ignore their carp. Michael: Ok. Dwight: Michael? Michael: Yes. Dwight: A carp is both a fish and a term for complaing. They're mocking you with wordplay. Creed: Hey, boss, did you find Nemo? Michael: I can name Pixar movies, too. Toy Story. Oscar: Don't you mean 'Koi Story'? Phyllis: And when you fell in, did you flounder? Dwight: Michael, flounder is both a kind of fish and - Michael: I know what a flounder is. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: I'm not usually the butt of the joke. I'm usually the face of the joke. I wish Jim had fallen into that pond and he'd have to put on my suit and it'd be too short and he'd look... Damn it! He'd still look good. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: The most fundamental thing about sensitivity training is that you cannot make fun of a person for something or some action that they have done that they regret. Show of hands- who has been 'Koi-ponded'? Who here's been the butt of a joke that has gone too far? Phyllis? Phyllis: Michael, you make fun of us every day. Michael: Uh... Kevin: Yeah. Every single day. Michael: You never said anything. Meredith: Uh, we have. Countless times. Michael: Well, it is hard to tell the difference between you guys saying, 'Stop because I want you to stop' or STOP as in 'Stop. You're making me laugh so hard. What you're doing is so funny. You are on a roll. I am busting a gut. Stop!' Angela: That's never the case. Michael: We are going to make a 'Do Not Mock' list. Ok? Anything that we think might be out of bounds, we put on this list. Anything you put on this list you cannot be teased about. Got it? I'm gonna kick it off. Let's see what I have to put on the list, right? [writes 'Koi pond' on the list] Ok. I also have fallen into the fountain at the Steamtown Mall. Ok. Who else? Who else? Dwight, come on. Dwight: I don't want people making fun of my nose. Michael: Your nose? Dwight: It's too small. Michael: Alright. Oscar: Oh my. That is small. Dwight: Just, write it down, please. Oscar: Can you breathe okay? Kelly: What keeps your glasses on? Dwight: Hey! It's on the list, everybody. Michael: No. I haven't finished writing. Did you sneeze it off? That's it. No more. Ok. Who else? Who else? Everybody's getting their chance. Kevin: I don't want people making fun of my weight. Michael: Ok. That's to broad. It's gotta be something else. How 'bout your stomach? Yeah? [writes Huge Gut] Meredith? Meredith: I don't want to say it out loud. Michael: Ok. Fine. Come on up here. Write it yourself. And don't sign your name to it. And nobody look. Everybody look away. Look away. [SCENE_BREAK] Meredith: I really didn't want to put it on the board but I thought maybe it was gonna come out somehow so... what are you gonna do? [she writes 's*x with a terrorist'] [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Ok. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: That is our sales pitch and we are stickin' to it. Keena Gifford: Well, you two are quite the salesmen and a very cute couple. Andy: Well- Pam: Oh- [both look at each other and together say] Thank you. Keena Gifford: Some couples don't seem like a good match. You two do. Pam: Well, you know. Andy: Yeah. You know. Two peas in a pod. We complete each other. What can I say? She loves to cook- Pam: He loves to eat. Andy: I love to dance- Pam: I love to watch him dance. Andy: Right. Sometimes I'll just dance for hours in the living room- Pam: And I'll just watch him. Keena Gifford: And a baby on the way? You must be so excited. Pam: Yes. Andy: Yeah. We are thrilled. Pam: Mmm-hmm. Andy: In fact, we spent the whole weekend researching various birthing coaches. Wasn't that fun, honey? Pam: It was, sweetie. Keena Gifford: Oh. I know the best teacher. Her name is Miss Janet. Andy: Yeah. On Clearview Avenue. Keena Gifford: Yeah! Andy: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] Angela: This sounds ridiculous, I know, but some people say that I eat like a squirrel. Phyllis: So now you're comparing yourself to a cute, tiny animal? Erin: Um, Michael? The custodian called again. Apparently a Koi has died. [everyone shows remorse] Michael: It's a fish. Erin: They want you to pay for it. Michael: It could've died of natural causes. So... Erin: Well, they said you stepped on it's head. He did not suffer. Oscar: When is the funeral? Michael: Do not mock, Oscar. Do not mock. How much do they want? Erin: $300. Michael: What? No. I could get a fish for a 5 cent worm. Creed: Oh, you're payin' way too much for your worms, man. Who's your worm guy? Jim: Ok. Great meeting, everybody. That's it. Michael: No, no. Dwight: Thank you. [everyone begins to leave] Michael: No. We are not done here. This- [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: One of the baby books suggets the best birthing posture is on all fours, like an animal. I just wish I had a special telephone so I could find out exactly wht the little soy bean wants. Right? Hey, little soy bean. What do you want? Right. How do- It- I felt it kick! Keena Gifford: That's great! Andy: Oh, my gosh. Like a little magical foot just high-fived me. Pam: Yeah, well, that'll happen. Andy: Oh, my gosh. It's like he's trying to say, 'I love you, too, Daddy'. I love you, too. [leans over and kisses Pam's belly] Pam: Sometimes we're so excited we forget where we are. Like at a business meeting. Andy: Message received, little soy bean. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: I think you just gotta ride this one out, man. Michael: No, Jim. You don't understand. Things like this don't just die. Kids in high school still call me 'Ponytail'. Jim: No, they don't. Michael: Yes, they do, Jim. Because of the time I got my ponytail stuck in the power trail. Jim: Maybe if you make fun of yourself it'll all go away. Michael: I want to make fun of you right now. Jim: Really? Do it. I am a big, stupid goofball. Michael: No. Don't do that. You're not. You're not stupid. Jim: See? Michael: Oh, my God. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Hey. I- I just wanna say that I cannot believe that I walked into a Koi pond. I mean, seriously. Walk much? [everyone starts laughing] Oh. I should wear a snorkel to the next business meeting that I go to. Phyllis: Michael. You know, when you think about it, it's not all your fault. I mean, who puts a Koi pond in a lobby? Michael: Well, you know what? You're right, Phyllis, but I've been there before. I've seen that pond. This is the thing, I am a world class moron. That's the problem. Dwight: Michael, please. Stop it now. You're embarrassing yourself. Michael: It's ok. We're having fun. It's not actually the first time I've been embarrassed by a pond. In high school, the girls volleyball team always used to hrow me into the frozen lake. Four years in a row. Oh... it was freezing. [Jim signals for making to stop] No. No. No. Oh, this is even worse. [Michael begins to lose his cool] Couple weeks ago I went to get a new cellphone and I wanted on of those packages where you have, you know, the friends- the five- the friends and family thing and the guys was like, 'Who are your 5 friends?' and I'm, like, 'Uh... ' I didn't even know I couldn't even think. [realizing he's going downhill] Oh, my God. It was so embarrassing. That was- oh. I don't even have Jan's cell phone number and I hate her! She won't give it to me. I was like, 'Oh, I guess I'm a loser. 'A luh-whooooo a za her'. Too far! God! Thanks a lot, man. Thanks for the advice. [SCENE_BREAK] Kevin: [watching Angela eat something] Enjoying your nut? Oscar: Kevin. Angela: Why? Kevin: I'm not mocking. I was just making an observation about a nut. Angela: I was. Michael: Hey. Who wants to watch Michael's pond dive? My roommate's friend is the night janitor over there. He swiped the security tape for me and he's bringing it over. Jim: Mm... I'm, know what? Maybe we should go easy on Michael, guys. You know, you watch that tape and you're gonna have to stay late for more sensitity training, so... Kevin: We'll stay late. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Well, that went pretty well. Pam: Yeah, I guess. Andy: We got a maybe. It was our first maybe. Going by the Nard Dog curve, I'd say we nailed it. Pam: If I'm being completely honest, I could've done without the belly kiss. Andy: You know what? I'm sorry. 'Cause in that moment I knew I was kissing your belly too much. Pam: Yeah. Way too much. Andy: Yeah. Pam: I mean, what the hell was that? Andy: What the heck was that? Pam: When you cried? Andy: Agh- try almost cried, ok? I just got caught up in the fantasy. Pam: You're fantsy involves comparison shopping birthing classes? Andy: No. I know I'm gonna go with Miss Janet. I just- I don't know. It was fun to role play, right? Pam: Hmm. Andy: I mean, it was fun for me. Having a wife and a little baby. Agh, I'm so sick of being single. Pam: Well, are you dating anyone? Andy: What do you think of Erin? I mean- she's- I- She's kinda cool. Pam: Ah. Andy: You think I can do better? Pam: Ah. Andy: Gotta get my goin' out on. [SCENE_BREAK] Meredith: Hey, let's watch this thing. Jim: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Ok. Yeah. We're not watchin' this. Oscar: How can we not watch this? Jim: What happened to 'Do Not Mock'? Phyllis: We're not mocking, we're watching. Jim: That will inevitably lead to mocking. So... Phyllis: Well, we'll deal with it as it comes. Michael: Is this the tape of me falling? Phyllis: Yes. Put the DVD in. Kevin: Open QuickTime. Oscar: It starts on it's own. Let it - Kevin: No! Use QuickTime. Trust me. I've done this. Jim: Guys. Michael can't handle this and as your boss I'm saying we're not watching it. Michael: No. It's ok. Watch it. He can't fire all of you. Jim: What are you doing? Michael: It's alright. I can handle it. Jim: No. Michael: I am a grown-up, Jim. Meredith: Shh. It's on. Kevin: Here they come. [everyone reacts to seeing Michael fall in] Boom! Oscar: Oh. Did - did you see that? Jim: See what? Angela: Why'd you stop it? Jim: Oscar, yes. You're right to stop it. Thank you. Eject it. Oscar: Jim, you let Michael fall in. Dwight: Play it again. [everyone has the same reaction as before] He purposefully leaned away and let you fall in. Jim: Oh... man. I thinke when I started to see you go in I think I just froze. Michael: I don't think you froze. Jim: It's a killer new dance move. [re-enacts leaning back] Do you wanna talk in your office? Angela: No. Jim: I didn't ask you. [back to Michael] Would you like to talk? [walks away] Dwight: Judas. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So, Jim is actually my friend. But... because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy. So, actually Jim is my enemy. But- [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: I should've grabbed you. I'm sorry. Look, I thought I could've done today's sales call alone. I mean, I may never be as good a salesman as you are, but I at least need the chance to do the job. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Jim is jealous of me? Jim is jealous of me. [SCENE_BREAK] Meredith: [as Jim enters the kitchen] Hey, what's up lifeguard? Oscar: Jim, I think I'm in your way. [leans back - they both exit] Michael: Oscar's a douche. Jim: [laughing] He's alright. Michael: No. He's a- yeah, he's alright. Ok. [holds door open as they exit] Jim: Thanks Michael. Michael: You're welcome. Whoa! [leans back] Almost fell. [they both laugh] [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: Hey, Erin. Do you mind faxing this for me? Erin: Oh, sure. Oh, wait. Hand them to me upside down so I don't accidentally read them. Pam: Ok. Erin: Thanks. Pam: Mmm-hmm. Erin: How did today go, by the way? Did you make any sales? Pam: No. It was a total waste of time. Um... it was fun, though, because I got to spend the day with Andy Bernard. He's really cool. Erin: Yeah, he is! Pam: Yeah, he is. Erin: He's, like, the coolest person I've ever met. Pam: That's... right. He's like Marlon Brando. Erin: Oh. Do you mean Marlon Wayans? 'Cause he is. Pam: I actually do mean Marlon Wayan. Yeah.

Plan: A: a business meeting; Q: What was Michael on his way to when he fell into a koi pond? A: Michael; Q: Who falls into a koi pond? A: an anti- bullying seminar; Q: What does Michael hold after the staff tease him? A: cold-calling; Q: What do Pam and Andy do to get new business? A: their advantage; Q: What do Pam and Andy use clients mistaking them as a couple to? Summary: While on the way to a business meeting, Michael falls into a koi pond . The staff tease him so he holds an anti- bullying seminar. Pam and Andy go cold-calling to stir up some new business; they reluctantly use clients' mistaking them as a couple to their advantage.

ENLIGHTENMENT BY: BARBARA CLEGG Part One First Air Date: March 1, 1983 Running time: 24:12 [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH: Check. I said, check. TEGAN: I heard you. TURLOUGH: Come on, then. TEGAN: In a minute. DOCTOR: Ah! TEGAN: What? DOCTOR: Interesting. It isn't a leak. TEGAN: It must be. We're losing power all the time. DOCTOR: No, our power's being tapped somehow. TEGAN: Tapped? What do you mean? DOCTOR: It's just draining away. I don't understand. TURLOUGH: He never does. I'm sure it's something quite simple. TEGAN: You're being very calm about it. TURLOUGH: Your move. WHITE GUARDIAN (OOV.): Move. Move. Move. DOCTOR: I'm sorry, did you say something? TURLOUGH: No. Just that it was Tegan's move. DOCTOR: Oh. Well, er, we'll block the outlet there. For a while we'll just have to run on reduced power. WHITE GUARDIAN (OOV.): Power. Power. Power. TEGAN: What's the matter? DOCTOR: Quiet. I'm trying to listen to something. TEGAN: To what? DOCTOR: I'm not quite sure. It must have been my imagination. TURLOUGH: There is something going on. DOCTOR: That's it! Of course, a message. Turn up the power. TEGAN: Turn it up? We're supposed to be conserving it. DOCTOR: Power. WHITE GUARDIAN: Here. Here. Here. DOCTOR: We must increase energy output. Now, push that lever to full. TEGAN: Are you sure everything's all right? DOCTOR: Of course. Now, keep it at full, whatever happens. TEGAN: If we keep it at full, we'll lose power completely. DOCTOR (OOV.): Can you hear me? TEGAN: I suppose the Doctor must know what he's doing. DOCTOR (OOV.): We're giving you more power. TURLOUGH: You think so? He's out there talking to himself. DOCTOR (OOV.): Where are you? [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: We're giving you everything we've got. It is you, isn't it? DOCTOR: I can't hear you. WHITE GUARDIAN: Power. At risk. There is extreme danger. I repeat WHITE GUARDIAN (OOV.): Danger. Danger. Danger. DOCTOR: Keep it going! [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH: He's gone mad. What does he think he's doing? TURLOUGH: We're going to blow! [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Go on. WHITE GUARDIAN: Galactic north six degrees nine zero TEGAN (OOV.): Doctor! DOCTOR: Quiet! Keep back. Stay in the console room. Nine zero. WHITE GUARDIAN: Seven, seven. Go immediately. Not allow. DOCTOR: What? Not allow what? WHITE GUARDIAN: Death. Death. Death. BLACK GUARDIAN: You cannot succeed. I control the game, the Doctor's destiny. And soon, he will be dead. Bwahahahahaha! [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: What have you done? You've reduced the power! TURLOUGH: We were about to blow up! DOCTOR: Never, ever, disobey my instructions again. TURLOUGH: I thought we were going to be killed. DOCTOR: And because of you, many others might die. TEGAN: Who were you talking to? DOCTOR: The White Guardian. TEGAN: The White Guardian? Who's he? DOCTOR: I've no time to explain. I have to sort out these coordinates. TEGAN: Where are we going? DOCTOR: I don't know. I lost contact before I could get more information. TEGAN: Well, what are we supposed to do when we get there? DOCTOR: Prevent something happening, something dangerous. TEGAN: What? You don't know that, either. DOCTOR: No, but when the White Guardian says there's danger, he's invariably right. TEGAN: Now what's happening? DOCTOR: Time override. Locking must have been in the coordinates. We're here. TURLOUGH: The air is breathable. TEGAN: Are you going out there? DOCTOR: Well, I have to find out what's going on. Turlough, get a couple of torches. TEGAN: Make it three. I'm coming with you. DOCTOR: No. I need you here. TEGAN: Why does it have to be me? DOCTOR: The White Guardian may try and make contact again. TURLOUGH: Er, I'll stay, if you like. DOCTOR: No, I need someone I can rely on. It's important. TEGAN: Someone who doesn't run away. TURLOUGH: I explained what happened on Terminus. DOCTOR: Save the arguing until later. TEGAN: What do I have to do? DOCTOR: Operate this lever. His power's badly depleted. He's having to draw on ours to get through at all. TEGAN: The power drain is the White Guardian? DOCTOR: Yes, exactly. TEGAN: Well, what did he say? DOCTOR: Well, apart from the coordinates, I could understand very little. TEGAN: Well, shouldn't you wait? He might try to make contact again. DOCTOR: No, there may not be time. TEGAN: But anything could be out there. DOCTOR: Yes, and going out is the only way to learn what it is. DOCTOR: Are you ready? TEGAN: Well, what if the White Guardian tells me something important? DOCTOR: Thank him politely. Won't be long. TEGAN: Good luck. [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH: Wood. We're in a building. DOCTOR: Listen. Rats. TURLOUGH: A warehouse? Do you feel that? Can't you feel it? The ground's moving. DOCTOR: I don't think so. Look at this. TURLOUGH: A piece of rope. DOCTOR: Really? Look again. TURLOUGH: Tar. DOCTOR: We're on a ship. A sailing ship. The hold, probably. TURLOUGH: I thought there was supposed to be great danger? DOCTOR: I didn't know you were so keen to find it. Down. TURLOUGH: What was all that about? DOCTOR: Checking the stores. TURLOUGH: Did you see the expression on his face? DOCTOR: Yes, almost as though he were hypnotised. Still, at least he didn't find the TARDIS. Come on. [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: White Guardian. WHITE GUARDIAN: More. More. More. TEGAN: Come on, where are you? WHITE GUARDIAN: You. You. You. TEGAN: Please hurry. Your demand for energy is causing an overload. Quickly, the message. WHITE GUARDIAN: Must not win. Tell the Doctor. Winner takes all. All. All. TEGAN: Who are you? The White Guardian? TEGAN: Who are you? TEGAN: Oh, no. [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH: Dead end? DOCTOR: No, it's a door. DOCTOR: You ready? [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: How do you do? [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: Where are you? Are you hurt? [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Not bad. TURLOUGH: Are you insane? Let's get out of here. DOCTOR: Gently, Turlough. This one will do for me, you can take that one. TURLOUGH: What do you think you're doing? DOCTOR: Behaving as if we've just joined the crew. Edwardian England. TURLOUGH: Oh, no, we're on Earth again. DOCTOR: So it seems. DOCTOR: First British submarine launched. TURLOUGH: Why don't they say something? DOCTOR: They're sizing us up. Fo'c'sle's fairly cramped. It's important to know who you're sharing it with. After all, we could be cooped up here together for months. TURLOUGH: You're not serious. DOCTOR: Only if we're both here for the trip. TURLOUGH: Look, shouldn't we get back to the TARDIS while there's still a chance? DOCTOR: No, I must find out why the White Guardian wanted me to come here. TURLOUGH: It was a mistake. They may be a rough lot, but they hardly threaten the peace and harmony of the universe, do they? DOCTOR: We stay. [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: Where are you? [SCENE_BREAK] JACKSON: Got your bunk sorted out, have you? DOCTOR: Yes, thanks. JACKSON: Jackson's the name. DOCTOR: Ah. Turlough, and I'm the Doctor. JACKSON: Oh you are, are you? Well, it's about time. Hey, he's here, lads. The Doctor's aboard. COLLIER: Thank God for that. DOCTOR: You've been expecting me? JACKSON: More than expecting you, slush, we've been waiting for you. Where you been, eh? I mean, we've been living on nothing but hard tack since we come aboard, haven't we, lads? ALL: Yeah, right. JACKSON: Get us some proper food, that's what we want. COLLIER: Yeah, none of your stinky greasy messes, either. ALL: Right. JACKSON: Not like that last cook we had, eh? DOCTOR: The doctor. Of course, the ship's cook. [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: Hello. MARRINER: Fascinating. TEGAN: What? MARRINER: Who are you? A stowaway? TEGAN: No, I can explain. MARRINER: Yes, you're a stowaway and I shall put you in irons. MARRINER: Where are you? Where are you? [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Er, may I? JACKSON: Yeah, yeah. I'm tired of reading it. Yeah, you can have it. It's two days old, though. MAN: How's the world up top? DOCTOR: Have you been below decks for two days? JACKSON: Yeah, we've been battened under hatches since we come aboard, haven't we lads, eh? ALL: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] MARRINER: Where are you? [SCENE_BREAK] JACKSON: Here, meet the lads. Farley, Wade, Jenkins, Grogan, and that one's Collier. DOCTOR: How do you do? Did you all come aboard at the same time? COLLIER: Dunno. Can't remember. Why'd you ask? DOCTOR: Curious. COLLIER: Truth of the matter is, we don't rightly remember. Probably drank too much. DOCTOR: Celebrating your last night ashore. COLLIER: Yeah, but he don't drink. JACKSON: No, I signed a pledge. Ain't touched a drop since, but I don't remember nothing neither. DOCTOR: And you're quite sure not one of you can remember coming aboard? COLLIER: No. It's blank. The whole thing, blank. [SCENE_BREAK] MARRINER: Allow me. TEGAN: That isn't possible. Who are you? [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Surely, surely you must find it rather strange that none of you can recall signing on? COLLIER: Oh, we remember that all right. JACKSON: Oh yeah, I mean, we signed on aboard, didn't we, lads? COLLIER: Yeah. And we got a month's wages in advance. Not likely to forget that, now, would we? JACKSON: Now that's one thing I'll say for the Captain. I mean, he certainly ain't mean. COLLIER: Yeah, but he stands to make a packet, I dare say, if we win. JACKSON: And we will. TURLOUGH: Win what? JACKSON: The race, lad. The race. [SCENE_BREAK] MARRINER: Why are you frightened? TEGAN: Isn't it obvious? MARRINER: I'm not going to hurt you. I want to please you. Would you like me to find your friends for you? TEGAN: What friends? MARRINER: The two you're looking for. TEGAN: Where are they? What have you done with them? MARRINER: Nothing. I haven't met them yet. I could take you to them, if that's what you'd like. TEGAN: Yes, that's what I'd like. MARRINER: This way. Please? You won't try to run away again, will you? Please? You see, I find you fascinating. Quite fascinating. [SCENE_BREAK] COLLIER: Ah, that was a race, now. Regular flier she was, the old America. TURLOUGH: A flier? COLLIER: Yeah. Crossed the Atlantic in seventeen days, she did. TURLOUGH: Huh. Hardly a flying ship. COLLIER: Slim bows. JACKSON: No, no. You give me a ship that's bluff in the bow and narrow in the stern. COLLIER: Oh, yeah. Or a woman, cod head and mackerel tail. JACKSON: None of your flying ships. What, you been at the bottle, have you, lad? Little bit of Dutch courage, eh? Now that's no good for a green hand. GROGAN: That's right. JACKSON: And it's no good for us older hands either. Now, you've got to keep a clear head if you're going up there. COLLIER: Yeah, and strong arms. Otherwise you're down on the deck from the height of the crosstree, splat. JACKSON: Keep hold of those shrouds and make certain you get the lifeline under your feet. You use your eyes and check that rigging before you go up there. COLLIER: Here, know why a pig can never become a sailor? Cos he can't look aloft! JACKSON: Looks like you're wanted. DOCTOR: You know where the TARDIS is if things get difficult. TURLOUGH: Where have they taken him? COLLIER: Poop quarters. JACKSON: Yeah, the first mate will want to see him, I dare say. COLLIER: Maybe the Captain, even. JACKSON: Living like lords they are, back there. Every luxury. COLLIER: Yeah, while we have to make do with salt, junk and hard tack. TURLOUGH: He'll be all right? JACKSON: Who can tell? [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: Doctor. DOCTOR: What are you doing here? TEGAN: Don't ask. I was so stupid. DOCTOR: You're unharmed? Did the White Guardian make contact again? TEGAN: It was very confused. DOCTOR: Well, tell me everything you can remember. TEGAN: Well, he was insistent somebody or something must not win the race. Tell the Doctor, he said, winner takes all. DOCTOR: Well, is that it? TEGAN: The console blew up. It's not much help, is it. DOCTOR: Well, you did your best. TEGAN: The message doesn't make sense, winner takes all. DOCTOR: It may do, especially as we're on a racing yacht. TEGAN: How do you know? DOCTOR: We've been talking to the crew. TEGAN: I hope they're not as peculiar as the officers. TEGAN: The one I've met's very strange. STRIKER: Welcome aboard. Delighted you could join us. Captain Striker at your service. DOCTOR: How do you do? I'm the STRIKER: The Doctor and Miss Tegan. Allow me to present my fellow officers. [SCENE_BREAK] JACKSON: Ah, they're a funny lot, if you ask me. COLLIER: The afterguard always are. TURLOUGH: What do you mean, a funny lot. JACKSON: Well, they keep themselves to themselves. COLLIER: Nobody's hardly set eyes on the Captain yet, not even the bo'sun. JACKSON: Nah, he's right. Takes most of his orders from the first mate. COLLIER: It was the first mate when we signed on, remember? TURLOUGH: Did he say where the ship's going? COLLIER: I don't remember. JACKSON: We're here for the race. I mean, that's all that matters. TURLOUGH: Yes, but where are we racing to? Where's the finish? JACKSON: We'll find out soon enough. There she blows. That's what we've been waiting for. The wind's beginning to freshen. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Please. TEGAN: I hope it's not going to be too rough. I'm not a very good sailor. DOCTOR: Oh, brave heart, Tegan. TEGAN: It's not my heart I'm worried about, Doctor. STRIKER: There is no cause for concern, Miss Tegan. We have the perfect antidote for mal de mer. TEGAN: Thank you. MARRINER: Breaking out the rum ration, sir. STRIKER: Good. Well, here's to an eventful passage, gentlemen, and a stormy one. My first mate Mister Marriner. You've met, I believe, Miss Tegan. The Doctor. Mister Marriner is my right hand man. He deals with the crew. Everything in order? MARRINER: Yes, sir. They're being prepared. STRIKER: Good. I must apologise for this rather abrupt end to dinner. Look out for the lady. MARRINER: Sir. MARRINER: Allow me. TEGAN: Where are we going? MARRINER: The wheelhouse. TEGAN: Doctor? [SCENE_BREAK] COLLIER: See you later, lad. TURLOUGH: What's going on? COLLIER: That's grog ration. JACKSON: Good lad. You're taking my advice, I see. TURLOUGH: What do you mean? JACKSON: Well, keeping a clear head. Now don't you worry, I'll look after you. Are you all right, then? TURLOUGH: Where to? JACKSON: Up aloft. Come on. [SCENE_BREAK] JACKSON: Come on, lad. TURLOUGH: I'll catch you up. DOCTOR: You're not going with them? TURLOUGH: No, thanks. They're going aloft. The rigging's no place for a coward like me. DOCTOR: Hmm. TURLOUGH: Now where? DOCTOR: To find Tegan, if your courage is up to it. She's on the way to the wheelhouse. Don't ask me why she left the TARDIS. Did you manage to find out anything about the race? TURLOUGH: Well, the crew don't know anything. Can't we go back to the TARDIS? DOCTOR: Yes, when we've found Tegan. [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: What was that? MARRINER: One of the crew going aloft. It sometimes affects them that way, especially when it's the first time. TEGAN: First time? You mean you send completely inexperienced crewmen aloft in a race? MARRINER: They soon get used to it. TEGAN: Now wait a minute. Wetsuits? What are wetsuits doing on an Edwardian sailing ship? MARRINER: This way. [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: It's dark outside. MARRINER: Isn't it always dark? TEGAN: It's just that I expected it to be daylight. STRIKER: Mister Mate? MARRINER: Excuse me. Sir. DOCTOR: Are you all right? TEGAN: Of course. Did you see what was in one of the companion ways? TURLOUGH: What? TEGAN: Underwater gear, like scuba divers wear. DOCTOR: Maybe this'll tell us where we are. TURLOUGH: Well, it doesn't make a lot of sense. TEGAN: It looks like the position of marker buoys. DOCTOR: Oh, they're considerably more than that. STRIKER: Mister Mate, we will look at our competitors, please. MARRINER: Aye, aye, sir. TEGAN: Electronics. On an Edwardian racing yacht. DOCTOR: Look at the screen. We're not on a yacht, we're on a ship. A spaceship.

Plan: A: The Doctor; Q: Who receives a warning from the White Guardian? A: the Tardis; Q: What does the Doctor materialize? A: one; Q: How many Eternals are on the ship the Doctor lands on? A: the Eternals; Q: What is the name of the race that never dies? A: Clairvoyant; Q: What kind of race are the Eternals? A: games; Q: What do the Eternals play with mortals to relieve their boredom? Summary: The Doctor receives a warning from the White Guardian and is given co-ordinates to materialize the Tardis at. He lands the Tardis on a ship Captained by one of the Eternals. A Clairvoyant race that never dies and plays games involving mortals to relieve their boredom.

[Scene: Manor. Living room. Piper, Phoebe, Paige and Chris are there. The girls have just been turned into goddesses and they're wearing ancient Greek outfits.] Piper: You expect us to beat the Titans dressed like this? Maybe at a costume party. Chris: That's not a costume. That represents your new position and power. Paige: Power? Power's good. I like power. (She thinks for a moment.) Why do I like power? Chris: Because you are the goddess of war. Paige: Ahh. Well, I guess that explains the pitch fork. Chris: It's not a pitch fork, it's a trident. Be careful, that's a formidable weapon. Paige: Right on. Who wants to fight? Phoebe: I'm a lover, not a fighter. Chris: You're the goddess of love. Piper: Naturally. Well, then that must make me the goddess of sanity because I find this ridiculous. Chris: Actually, Leo gave you dominion over the earth and all it's natural elements. Piper: Wait a minute, you're saying that Leo did this to us? Phoebe: Chris? You never told us, do you have a girlfriend in the future? Chris: (ignoring Phoebe) As you can see, all of you have drives and urges based on your powers. Don't let them distract you, alright? Stay focused, focused on the Titans. Piper: Hold it, pal. I don't know what kind of game you're running here, but Leo is not in the god-making business. Phoebe: (to Chris) How old are you, anyway? Piper: The Elders forbid it. And if anything, Leo is a company man. Chris: The Elders did forbid it. And guess what, they're dead. Most of them. Leo's in charge up there now and he's taken a huge risk that you three won't lose your humanity like the ancient Greeks... Whoa! (Paige sticks her trident into Chris's shirt and holds up in the air.) Paige: You killed the Elders. You could've prevented it. I say we castrate. Chris: A little control here, ladies, please. Phoebe: Can't we figure out something else to cut off? (Chris orbs out and orbs back in across the room.) Chris: I told you, stay focused. In my future, all the Elders were killed. That's why I came back to help Leo give you the power so this would never have to happen again. Paige: Hey, guys, watch this. (She points her trident at the piano and a bolt of lightning flies out of it hitting the piano. The piano breaks into pieces.) Piper: Put that thing down, you're gonna hurt someone. Paige: I certainly hope so. Do you know the kind of damage this thing could do? Chris: A lot. Phoebe: Paige, make love, not, you know. There's no door love can't open, no wall love can't climb, not hurdle love can't... (She thinks.) Hurdle. Piper: This is Leo's strategy? Well, he must have lost it up there because these girls can't be seen in public, much less... Phoebe: Ooh, that reminds me. I'm late for the bachelor auction. I'm gonna go pick up a guy or two, or twelve. (She claps her hands and a pink misty heart appears. A pink swirl of mist surrounds her and she disappears from the room.) Chris: Phoebe? Paige: Ooh, that's a good idea. I'm gonna go get in some target practice with some demons. Watch out Titans. (Lightning bolts surround her and she disappears from the room.) Chris: I knew this was gonna happen. You gotta go after them. Piper: Oh, no-no-no. This was your big plan, you clean up the mess. Chris: No, your role is to provide balance. That's why you feel so grounded and in control. Piper: Wow, Chris, that was actually pretty good. You almost sounded like a Whitelighter. Too bad I already have one. And if he would like me to do something, he can come down and tell me himself. (to the roof) Do you hear that? Chris: You want Leo, hm? Then vanquish the Titans. If you can't do that, you're gonna find out what a world of darkness feels like. My world. [Scene: Snow-covered Mountains. Cronus is waiting there. Demetrius appears.] Demetrius: I can sense what's left of the Elders. They're scared and running for their lives. Cronus: You're still angry with me for killing her, aren't you? Demetrius, I'm sorry. Meta was a distraction. Once we control the heavens, you can have any woman you want. I want you to know, I did what had to be done. We needed to hit the Elders hard and fast, and we did, alright? Demetrius, let's go finish off the Elders. (They disappear.) Opening Credits [Scene: P3. The bachelor auction is taking place. Elise is up on stage behind a podium.] Elise: Ladies, prepare your cheque books because here comes Evan. (A handsome man stands up and walks onto stage. Everyone cheers and whistles.) Lady From Crowd: He's mine. Elise: Oh, my, my, my. Somebody turn the heat down in here. Evan: I don't have to take off my clothes or anything, do I? (The ladies cheer.) Elise: That's entirely up to you. Okay, ladies. Evan is an internist from Sausalito. And he promises the highest bidder a free physical on their first date. So who'll start the bidding? Lady From Crowd: Four hundred! Elise: Excellent! Do I hear five hundred? Phoebe's Voice: One thousand dollars! (Every turns to look at Phoebe walking down the stairs.) Elise: Phoebe. (The guys stare in awe as she walks through the crowd toward the stage.) Evan: Uh, can I bid on her? (Phoebe chuckles.) Phoebe: If you insist. Elise: That isn't... This isn't... I don't really... Evan: I've got a ten thousand limit on my credit card. Elise: Well, okay then. Man From Crowd: Eleven thousand! Man #2: Twelve thousand! Man #3: Thirteen thousand! Man #4: Fourteen thousand! Man #3: Fourteen five! Man #2: Fifteen thousand! (Phoebe makes her way onto the stage.) Man #3: Sixteen thousand! Phoebe: Easy, boys, there's plenty to go around. [Scene: Woods. Paige and three other demons are there. Paige is pointing her trident at them.] Paige: Come on, now, hit me with your best shot. (A demon throws an energy ball at Paige and she catches it. She distinguishes it.) Give me one firm spot on wish to stand and I will move the earth. (She points her trident at the demon and zaps him, vanquishing him.) Archimedes said that. Great warrior. And he didn't even have a trident. Okay, on your knees. Kiss the hand of the Paige. Demons: Yes, my liege. (The kneel in front of her.) Paige: Mm, being a goddess does have its perks. (Leaves fly around in one spot and Piper appears.) Piper: Paige, what are you doing? Paige: How'd you find me? Piper: Apparently it's one of my powers to keep an eye on you. What is going on here? Paige: Oh, I'm just building an army. I figured what better way to smite the Titans than with hordes of demons, right? Piper: Wrong. All of you out. Demon: We answer only to our liege. (Paige smiles and nods.) Piper: I see. Paige: See, they're very loyal. And you know what? I don't know why I was wasting my time studying witchcraft when I clearly should have been earning my general stripes. Piper: I said go! Now! (The ground shakes. The demons disappear, frightened.) Paige: What'd you have to do that for? I had followers. Piper: You can't have followers. None of us can. Now come on before I unleash my wrath on you. (They disappear.) [Cut to the manor. Foyer. Piper and Paige appear.] Piper: Not in the house. (Piper takes the trident off of Paige and puts it aside.) Now let's go find Phoebe. (The Elf Nanny walks in pushing the baby pram.) Elf Nanny: My word, this is a house of ill repute. Hardly suitable for an infant. (She walks off.) Piper: Wh- What do you mean? (They hear voices coming from the living room.) Man's Voice: How does that feel, Phoebe? (Piper and Paige walk into the living room. Phoebe is lying on a red sofa, surrounded by half-naked men. Some are fanning her with a large feather, another is massaging her feet, and another is feeding her grapes.) Phoebe: Oh, make sure you peel those for me, will you? Piper: Phoebe? We need to talk. Phoebe: Yes, we do. The world would be over flowing with peace and love if only we just talked more. Piper: Mm-hm. What are they doing here? Phoebe: Oh, worshipping me, adoring me, exalting my name. There is so much love in this room I can barely stand it. Piper: Me neither. It's time to send your groupies away, now. Phoebe: But serving me makes them so happy. (One of the men hands Phoebe a chalice.) Thank you, bachelor number three. Piper: Alright, all of you, show is over. Move along. Evan: We live to serve Phoebe. Phoebe: Oh, you do, don't you? That's so sweet. Piper, you need to get some followers of your own. It's a really great confidence builder. Paige: Are you eyeing me, soldier? (Chris walks in.) Chris: What the hell is this? Goddesses gone wild? I told you to keep them in line. What would happen if the Titans attacked right now? Piper: Chris, I've got it. Thank you. All of you, out! (A gust of wind blows through the room and the men land in the foyer all on top of one another. They quickly get up and race outside.) Chris: Now that's what I'm talking about. Piper: Time for a morality check. Leo did not give us this power so we could form armies or love cults. (Phoebe looks at Chris and flirts.) The ancient Greeks indulged in their whims that way and look what they became. Chris: Petty, evil, vindictive. Piper: Thanks, I've got it. Now... hi! (She pokes Phoebe with a pillow.) Can you two get it under control? Paige: Reason and judgement are the qualities of a leader. Tacitus, 100 A.D. Phoebe: Love will keep us together. Captain and Tennille. 1970s. Piper: Fascinating. Now, can we figure out a way to beat the Titans, 'cause I for one would like my family back. Soon. (They hear the Elders call.) Phoebe: Is that a jingle? Paige: There are no Elders up there. Who's jingling? Chris: It's Leo. Piper: Leo can jingle? Chris: Yep. He says an Elder's under attack. Like it or not, it's time to face the Titans. [Cut to the woods. Finnegan stands in front of Roland the Elder. The Titans are standing a few feet away from them.] Finnegan: Stand back, wise one. Cronus: Such bravery in the face of death. Finnegan: We ain't the ones who'll be dying today. (He waves his shillelagh and says some Irish words. A rainbow appears and sucks up Finnegan and Roland. Cronus throws a blast of fire into the air hitting the tail of the rainbow. Finnegan screams and Roland falls out of the rainbow onto the ground.) Cronus: Remind me when we're through with the Elders to do something nice for the Leprechaun community. Roland: We've beaten you before, Cronus. We'll do it again. Cronus: How? Your numbers are dwindling. By day's end, the great Elders will all be dead and we'll own the heavens. (Piper, Phoebe and Paige appear.) Who are you? Paige: The Supremes. (She points her trident and a bolt of lightning heads for Cronus. He blocks it with a wave of his hand.) Demetrius: She wields the powers of the gods. Cronus: Just kill the Elder. (Cronus and Demetrius throw a stream of fire and a lightning bolt at the girls. They hold up their hands and a light shields them. Piper: Somebody get the Elder out. Phoebe: I can't. I can't move. Paige: Me neither. (The Titans move closer to them.) Piper: Leo! (They all orb out.) Demetrius: Where'd they go? [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Sewer. The remaining Elders are there, clicking away. Piper, Phoebe and Paige are standing off to the side.] Piper: Is everybody okay? Phoebe: No. Is my hair singed? Piper: You're fine. Paige: I guess we're not so all powerful after all. How'd we get out of there? Piper: I guess Leo must have orbed us out. But I don't know how, he doesn't have that kind of power. Paige: Well, he must have because we're out of there. What is this place, a sewer? (Roland turns to them.) Roland: This is sanctuary. Phoebe: Oh, my, my, my. (She walks over to him.) Aren't you just the edible Elder? Have you taken a vow of celibacy? Piper: Phoebe. Stay on target. Phoebe: Right. Piper: What do you mean this is sanctuary? Roland: It's a safe house. Set up by Leo to protect the Elders. Paige: Well, it doesn't look so safe to me. I can see unprotected points of entry all over the place. Roland: Don't worry, the Titans can't sense our location. We're hidden from them by a web of fairy magic. Another of Leo's ideas. Piper: Leo did all this? Roland: I was surprised myself. I'm afraid I was one of the Elders who always sold Leo short. What with him marrying a witch and all. No offence. Piper: Offence taken. Roland: I will never make that mistake again. Without Leo we'd all be dead. He's out there now tracking Elders as we speak, moving them here. We owe Leo everything. Piper: I guess so. Roland: Well, good luck with the Titans. Phoebe: One more question. What are you wearing under that robe? Roland: More robes. (Paige laughs. Roland walks away.) Phoebe: Oh, that is so hot. Piper: This is getting tired. Paige: A warrior preparing for battle cannot be weary. Piper: No, I'm tired of getting all this information second hand. I would like to hear it from Leo. Phoebe: Piper, I'm sensing a blockage in your spiritual energy. What's wrong, sweetie? Piper: I need to talk to my husband. I-I appreciate him becoming a magical folk hero for the masses and all, I really do, but enough is enough. Leo! Remember me? Your wife! (Leo jingles.) Don't you jingle me. I need more than a jingle here, mister. You will get down here right now! (The sewers shake like an earthquake.) Paige: Are you trying to alert the enemy? Phoebe: Piper, I'm sure as soon as Leo figures out how angry you are, he's gonna come running down here. (They look up and wait a moment.) Okay, you can come running now. Look, sweetie, it's not like he's not busy. He's saving the world. Paige: And buying us time to vanquish the Titans. Although, I don't know where we're gonna get the strength from. They had no problem with my power. Phoebe: Then let's try my power. [Scene: Manor. Living room. Phoebe sits on the red sofa. Demetrius walks in.] Phoebe: I've been waiting for you. (She gets up and walks over to him.) My whole life. Demetrius: You have? Why? Phoebe: Why? It doesn't matter. (She picks up a feather and strokes his face with it.) The only thing that matters is that you're here and I'm here. Do you know what that means? Demetrius: We're here. Phoebe: Right. Together. Do you want me? Demetrius: Very much. Phoebe: I'm all yours. (He leans in closer.) But wait, what would Cronus think? Demetrius: I don't care what Cronus thinks. (Cronus walks in behind him.) If he tries to stop me, I'll just... Cronus: What are you doing, Demetrius? Demetrius: The goddess wants to seduce me. I was just playing along until you got here. (He goes over to Cronus. Phoebe sighs.) Phoebe: Fooey! (The Titans throw a stream of fire and a lightning bolt at Phoebe. Paige walks in and waves her hand. The Titans flicker away.) Paige: End the war game. Phoebe: My way didn't work. Paige: Nothing's working. I need a break. Phoebe: How did the Greeks do it? (They walk into the parlor and sit down.) Paige: Well, for one thing there were more of them. Like an entire mountain top full of them, till their powers consumed them. Phoebe: Maybe declaring themselves as gods gave them the strength to defeat the Titans. Paige: I'd rather be flayed alive. Phoebe: Not an option for me. God, I miss Leo. (Chris orbs in.) Leo? Paige: Oh, it's just you. Chris: Hello, to you too. So the Elders are taken care of. Where's Piper? Phoebe: She's upstairs with the baby. Um, could you bring us Leo? Chris: He's busy. How's it going here? Paige: Not so good. I keep trying to come up with a plan to defeat the Titans but every battle simulation ends the same way. Phoebe: With our death. Paige: We could really use Leo right about now. Chris: I'm starting to get that impression. Phoebe: Could you bring him back? Chris: For the last time, no. What is wrong with you two, huh? You're acting hopeless. Phoebe: I don't know. I mean, I guess I always feel like this right before a big battle, and then Leo comes down and I don't know how he does it but he makes me feel like I have the power to do anything. Paige: Really? It's different for me. It's like I forget that I even have any training and I, and I can't concentrate and Leo helps me focus and calm down. You know, I'm starting to think that we take Leo for granted. Are you sure you can't get him. Chris: Leo-Leo is up there, okay? And he's gotta stay up there until... You know, what? I'm not gonna go over this again. What can I do to help you two get over the hump here? Phoebe: Try saying this. It always works for Leo. Your power comes from your emotions. Paige: What about this? Trust the power of three. Phoebe: Or how about this one. I'm gonna go check with the Elders. Do you actually thinks he checks with the Elders? Paige: Ha! No, he probably just orbs to a sports bar and buys his buddies rounds of drinks. (in a manly voice) Yeah, my wife thinks I'm up there. Here's to the Elders. (They giggle.) Chris: You really are helpless without him. [Scene: Heavens. Cronus and Demetrius are there.] Cronus: Somebody's still alive up here. Demetrius: We don't know that, Cronus. Maybe the world's magic has increased since we were frozen in that... Cronus: Demetrius. The trident, she had the trident. The Greek gods have been recreated which means somebody up here released their essence as mortals, which means somebody is still up here. Demetrius: If you're right and the gods have been recreated, (Leo peers around a large pillar) then we should be after them now before their powers grow too strong. Cronus: No. Whoever's up here will just create new gods. That threat must be dealt with now. I am sensing something. Demetrius: Where? Cronus: It's faint. (He points to the pillar where Leo is hiding.) There. (They move slowly towards it.) Whoever created these gods, whoever's hiding, they're trapped. They can't dematerialise without exposing themselves to us. (Suddenly, Leo turns invisible.) There's only so many places up here they can hide. (They look around the pillar and see nothing.) I could have sworn. Demetrius: I don't see anything. Cronus: Keep looking. (They walk away. Leo becomes visible.) [Cut to the manor. Piper's Bedroom. Piper is there holding Wyatt.] Piper: I know you miss him. I miss him too. (Chris walks in.) Chris: I need help. Piper: Uh, excuse me, this is my bedroom. You can't just walk in here anytime you want to. Chris: Yeah, I know, but your sisters need you. I got them working on the Titans but I don't know how long that's gonna last. (Piper puts Wyatt in his bassinet.) Piper: I thought you needed me. Chris: I did. I mean, I do. I need you 'cause they need you. Actually, they need Leo. Look, will you please just go deal with them? Piper: What's the matter, Chris? The all-knowing running out of answers? Chris: Yes, yes, I am. If that will motivate you, yes. I'm losing control because I'm watching history repeat itself and nobody's willing to do a damn thing about it. Piper: I feel your frustration. Chris: Piper, if it helps, I get it, okay? I do, really. You need Leo. Your sisters need Leo. But if you can't stop... Piper: You forgot the baby. The baby needs his father too. Chris: Fine. But if you can't stop missing your husband long enough to see the bigger picture... Piper: There is no bigger picture than my family. Chris: Well, then pay attention because the world I grew up in families hardly existed. I never had a chance to know mine. Piper: Not my fault. Chris: Not yet. Piper: Is that what this is about? You blame us for what happened to you? Chris: I just want you to get it right this time. Use your power of three. Use your power as gods. Save the world from going to hell. Piper: If that's what you want, then I will say it one more time and maybe you will hear me. We need Leo. Now excuse me, I have to go warm up a bottle. (She leaves the room. Chris walks over to the bassinet. Wyatt's force field surrounds the bassinet.) Chris: Don't worry, you'll come to trust me in time. They all will. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Heavens. Leo is hiding behind a pillar. Chris orbs in beside him.] Leo: What are you doing? You're gonna expose us? Chris: Shh! That's the idea. Cronus: Did you sense that? Demetrius: Someone orbed. (Chris peeks around the pillar and whistles. Cronus throws a stream of fire at Chris. He quickly pulls back behind the pillar.) Chris: Hurry, go, Piper needs you. (Leo orbs out. Chris peeks around the pillar and Cronus throws another stream of fire. Chris orbs out. The Titans disappear.) [Cut to the manor. Piper's room. Piper is lying on the bed. She sighs.] Piper: Leo, how could you leave us? (Leo orbs in with the hood of his robe over his head. Piper sits up.) Who are you? (Leo removes the hood.) Leo: Hi, Piper. Piper: You're home. (She goes over and hugs him.) You heard my calls, right? Leo: Of course I did, honey. But I had to make sure the Elders were safe and then I was cornered by the Titans. Piper: I'm just thankful you're okay. My mind was just racing. Leo: I know. I felt it. Good thing Chris came when he did. Piper: Chris? Leo: He distracted the Titans so I could escape. Right now they're probably following his orb trail so we don't have... (Piper looks at his hair.) Piper: What's wrong with your hair? Leo: What? (She touches a patch of white hair on his head.) Piper: Um, it's white. Leo: Is it? (He looks in the mirror.) Wow, it must be from staying up there for so long. Piper: I guess so. Leo: Where are your sisters? Piper: Well, they can wait a minute while we spend some time alone and then you need to hold your son. Leo: Spoken like a true earth goddess. Piper: What are you talking about? Leo: You need to channel your hearth and home instincts to fight the Titans. Piper: Leo, I was speaking from the heart not the hearth. Hi, I'm your wife, remember? Leo: I do, but Chris can only throw off the Titans for so long. We need to be ready with a battle plan. Now, let's find your sisters. (Piper and Leo walk out into the hallway. The Elf Nanny walks around the corner.) Elf Nanny: Ma'am, I was just coming to check on the baby. Piper: That's okay, 'cause he is actually sleeping, so... (The Elf Nanny looks at Leo and her jaw drops.) Elf Nanny: Welcome, wise one. Piper: Oh, no, this is just my husband. He's not an Elder. He's just wearing this robe because... Why are you wearing this robe? Leo: It was windy up there. Piper: See, so you can take a break 'cause, you know, Wyatt's asleep. Okay, here we go. (Piper and Leo go downstairs.) [Cut to the parlor. Phoebe and Paige are there. Phoebe is reading up on Zeus.] Phoebe: It says in here that Cronus swallowed his new born children to keep them from over throwing him. Paige: What if you lure the Titans to a field, Piper lifts them with a tornado, and I hit him with my lightning? Phoebe: I'm afraid there's no way to beat a man who eats his own children. (Piper and Leo come down the stairs.) Leo: Those stories are fables. Phoebe: Leo! (Phoebe hugs Leo.) Paige: Welcome home, Leo. Leo: What do you have for me? Phoebe: Paige ran every battle plan she knows which as a war goddess is basically every battle that's ever been fought. Paige: No matter how you spin it - warrior, seductress, earth mother - we don't have the power to defeat the Titans. Phoebe: We can't beat them. They're too strong for us. Piper: See how much this family needs you? Leo: No. I don't. You can do this without me. And it's not because you have the power of gods or the power of three. It's because you are the greatest force of good that I know and that's why I chose you. Phoebe: Oh, see I could just feel the confidence wash all over me. He's doing it. Piper: What is he doing? Leo: Paige, you know exactly where to find the power to conquer the Titans. Paige: I do? Leo: Yes. You just need to focus. Paige: We have to declare ourselves gods. Leo: It's how the ancient Greeks did it. Piper: Chris told us not to do that. Leo: Well, Chris is wrong. He doesn't know you like I do. Phoebe: But Leo, the ancient Greeks lost their humanity. Leo: You're not the ancient Greeks, you're the Charmed Ones. I didn't give you anything you can't handle. Phoebe, you lost yourself to the darkest love that ever existed and you came back. Of course, you can handle being the goddess of love. Phoebe: I never thought of it that way. Leo: Paige, you're the goddess of war because you've been consumed with gaining power but you've never let the power consume you. Piper, is it any wonder I made you the goddess of earth? You are everything that is good and beautiful in this world. The mother of my son. Piper: You really have that much faith in us? Leo: Do you really even need to ask that? It's like I've always said, your power comes from your emotion and right now you need to dig deeper than you ever have before. Whatever motivates you. Your heart, your soul, your darkest fears. Whatever it takes, you need to find that and channel it into power. Power not to capture the Titans, but to destroy them forever. (Suddenly, Leo glows all over.) Piper: Leo? Leo: What's happening to me? [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: P3. It's empty. Cronus and Demetrius appear.] Demetrius: He's not here. Another dead end. Cronus: No. The orb trail's getting stronger. We're getting closer. We'll push ahead. Demetrius: Wait, wait. Do you sense that? Cronus: An Elder out in the open. Demetrius: Do you think it's our target? Cronus: There's only one way to find out. [Cut to the manor. Piper's room. Leo is playing with Wyatt who is in his bassinet. Wyatt is giggling.] Leo: I'll never leave you, I promise. (Piper walks in.) Piper: Why would you? Leo, what's going on? Leo: I'm not sure. Piper: What do you mean you're not sure? Chris! Where ever you are, get your ass over here! Leo: It's okay, Chris. (Chris orbs in.) Chris: This better be an emergency. You are going to lead the Titans straight to us. Piper: What's happening to my husband? Chris: Something amazing. Piper: You know what? Cut the crap. You knew the Elders were gonna die. You coached Leo up there. You knew all of this was gonna happen. Leo: Did you? Chris: You're not serious. Piper: Whatever it is you think you're doing, you need to make it stop. Chris: Piper, nobody chose this. It chose Leo. What he did up there for all of us was nothing short of a miracle. Now he's receiving the ultimate reward. A chance to become... Piper: Don't you dare say it. Chris: The world needs sources of good to watch over it. Do you know a source of pure goodness better than Leo? Piper: Leo is not... He's not an Elder, okay? Because Elder's don't live on earth. They don't have families. Okay, just tell him you're not an Elder. Leo: I don't know that I can. Chris: I think you should get back to your sisters. Piper: No. Not until you tell him. Chris: They're waiting for you. Leo: Chris is right. You need to get back to Paige and Phoebe. Piper: No. Not until you say it. Chris: The Titans are gonna be here any moment. Piper: I said no! (Piper points at Chris and sends him flying across the room. He hits the door and is knocked unconscious. Leo rushes to him.) Leo: He'll be okay. You did it, Piper. You found your power. Now control it, don't let it control you. (They hear a crash from downstairs.) Phoebe: (from downstairs) Piper! [Cut to the conservatory. The Titans send Phoebe flying across the room.] Cronus: Where is the Elder that created you? (Phoebe gets back up. The room starts to shake. Piper appears. Cronus and Demetrius sends lightning bolts and a stream of fire at Piper. It doesn't harm her.) Piper: It's not nice to piss of mother nature. (Piper holds out her hands and the room starts to shake. A hole opens in the ground in front of the Titans. A chandelier above, falls from the roof and into the fiery pit below. A dresser falls into the pit. Paige grabs her trident and zaps the floor at the Titans feet. It crumbles and they fall into the fiery pit. The hold seals back up. Leo rushes down the stairs.) Paige: So much for the Titans. Phoebe: Thank god. Piper: You're welcome. Leo: You did it, Piper. You found the power you needed. You all did. Now it's time to give it back. (Piper disappears.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Manor. Living room. It's raining and thundering outside. Phoebe, Paige, Leo and Chris are there. Paige is standing in front of Leo. Leo is holding an urn.] Leo: Are you ready? Paige: Just get it out of me. (Leo lifts the lid of the urn and Paige's god powers return to it.) Leo: How do you feel? Paige: Phew. Free. Anything on Piper? (Paige sits next to Phoebe who is scrying.) Phoebe: Nope, I still can't get a read. Chris: Just keep trying. Paige: Okay, even if we do find her, how are we gonna get her back? She's on this major power trip. She destroyed the Titans, not even the Greek gods could do that. Chris: We've just gotta hope she has some humanity still left inside. Leo: If anyone can come back from this, it's Piper. I've gotta go now. If you need me Chris knows how to get in touch. Paige: Where are you going? Leo: The Elders have returned to the heavens and they're calling for me. (He orbs out.) Phoebe: Did he just bail on us? Is that what he did? Paige: Uh, what about, you know, helping us find his wife? Chris: He's trusting in you to do that. You need to find Piper and talk her down before she sets up shop somewhere and throws the world into chaos. Then it'll be too late for her. Phoebe: Okay, maybe you missed the part about Piper being Leo's wife. Chris: Look, you have to understand. Things have changed. The Elders need Leo up there to help restore order. Paige: Cut to the chase, future man. Is this about Leo being turned into an Elder, or what? Chris: He's on the path. Phoebe: Okay, don't give us that creepy pod-people smile. Okay, in your world, being an Elder may be cool but in our world it pretty much sucks. Leo is our brother-in-law... Paige: And our Whitelighter... Phoebe: And our friend. Paige: And we don't want to lose him. Phoebe: So listen, you go up there and tell him... (Suddenly, a tree branch hits the window, smashing it. Phoebe screams.) What is going on with this storm? (Paige realises something.) Paige: Piper. Piper's what's up with this storm. Phoebe: What do you mean? Paige: Remember when the Titans were first released, the major weather shifts, and the earthquake. Phoebe: Yeah. Paige: When you have power over the earth like the Titans did, it's bound to suffer your emotional baggage. Phoebe: And like Leo says, our power comes from our emotions. Okay, okay. So if you're a god and you're angry and you're taking it out on the city, where would you go? Paige: Somewhere high where I could enjoy the damage I'm inflicting. [Cut to a high mountain just before the Golden Gate Bridge. Piper is standing there soaking wet from the rain. She raises her arm and several flashes of lightning strikes down on the city. Phoebe and Paige orb in holding an umbrella.] Paige: Piper! Piper: Stay away from me. Paige: We're taking you home. Phoebe: To your family. Piper: What family? Phoebe: To your son. Wyatt. Remember him? Paige: He needs his mother. Phoebe: He already lost his father, don't take his mother away from him too. (Piper disappears.) [Cut to the heavens. The Elders are there. Piper appears.] Piper: Where is he? Where is Leo? (Leo goes over to her.) Leo: Piper, what are you doing here? Piper: How can you do this? Leo: Uh, excuse us for a minute. (Piper and Leo move across the room.) Piper: You asked me to marry you and I did. You wanted a family and I gave you a son. And now you want me to watch you just walk away? Leo: It's not that simple. Piper: Then make it simple. Because I'm trying really hard to understand. Leo: Piper, if I had a choice in any of this, I would choose you. I always have. Piper: Then choose me now. Then let's go home. (She holds out her hand.) Leo: Don't you think I want to? Piper: I don't know. And that's what scares me the most. (Piper sniffs.) Leo: The Elders were wrong about us. They didn't think our love could survive but it did. Our love blessed us in ways they couldn't even imagine. It gave you the strength that you needed to take over from Prue, it produced a baby with a greater future than any of us, and it made me... Piper: An Elder. Leo: Our love it transcendent, Piper. It lifted me up so high that this was the only possible result. Being an Elder wasn't my destiny, but yet here I am because of you. (She starts to cry.) Piper: I can't just give up. I don't know how. Leo: You can't fight this. Not this. (The god powers leave Piper and float back into the urn behind the door.) Piper: How am I supposed to do this alone? Leo: You have your sisters. Piper: It's not the same. Will I ever see you again? Leo: I don't know. I'll always be watching over you. Piper: But you won't be there for Wyatt. You're gonna miss so much. Leo: I will never leave Wyatt's side. He will always feel my presence. It's not the same as human love, he needs you for that. Piper: He's got me. And I hope that's enough. But what if it's not? (She cries.) Leo: As an Elder I have the power to take your pain away. Piper: You can't make me forget you. Leo: No. Help you find peace. (They hug. Leo glows and then Piper glows.) [Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Phoebe and Paige are there. Phoebe is on the phone. Paige is making a pizza.] Phoebe: (on phone) I know, Elise, yeah, it really was a great costume. I'm just glad that the night was a success. Okay. You too. Bye. (She hangs up.) Well, I managed to raise $18,000 for The Bay Mirror children's foundation. Gotta admit, being a goddess did have its perks. I even got a second date with Evan. Paige: What's Jason gonna think? Phoebe: You know, I miss Jason, I really do but I can't put my life on hold for him. You know, if he comes back to San Francisco then we'll give it another shot. How about you? You miss being a warrior princess? Paige: No, I do not miss being a warrior princess. In fact I don't think I'm even gonna miss being super witch. Phoebe: What do you mean? Paige: I've been on this crazy magic journey for so long now I just think it's time to slow down a bit. You know, I've kind of let my career slide, let my friends slide. I think I'm just tired and I need a break. (They pick up food trays.) Phoebe: Got it? (Paige nods. They walk into the dining room where the table is set.) You know, Paige, you should be really proud of yourself. All that hard work paid off. We beat the Titans. Paige: Yeah, I am, it's great. I guess I'm kind of looking forward to a change, you know, to help me take my mind off what we're losing. Phoebe: Sweetie, you can't look at it that way. We didn't lose him, he'll be watching over us. Paige: It's different. (The doorbell rings.) Phoebe: Come in! (Darryl and Sheila walk in.) Sheila: Hi. Darryl: Hey. Paige: Hi. Sheila: Are you sure you want us over today? Darryl: Yeah, I mean, we don't wanna intrude. Phoebe: No, you're not intruding. This was Piper's idea. Sheila: I can only imagine what she's going through. How's she doing? Phoebe: We're not really sure. Paige: She wanted to be alone with the baby last night. Darryl: Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't come out of her room for like a year. (Piper comes down the stairs all cheery.) Piper: Hi, guys, I'm so glad you could come. Darryl: Hi. Sheila: Hi. We wanted to show our support. (She hands her a bunch of flowers.) Piper: Thank you. Darryl: Yeah. Leo was... is... somebody... (There's an awkward silence.) Piper: Oh, come on, guys, this is a celebration. Leo got promoted. We should all be happy for him. I am. Paige: You are? Piper: Of course I am. Phoebe: Piper, you don't have to put on a brave face. We're all here for you. Paige: Suppressing emotions in this family can be dangerous. Piper: No, I'm not suppressing anything, really, I'm okay. Now let's eat before the baby wakes up from his nap. Oh, I forgot the baby monitor. Here. (She gives Phoebe the flowers.) Be right back. (Piper runs upstairs.) Phoebe: Okay, let's eat. Darryl: Yeah, come on, honey. (Darryl and Sheila go into the dining room.) Phoebe: Something's wrong with Piper. Paige: Maybe she's moved on. Phoebe: Piper doesn't move on, she fights. I'm telling you, that wasn't Piper. [Cut to outside. Chris is sitting on the stairs. Leo orbs in.] Chris: So the Elders decide what to do with me yet? Leo: Well, you've been the subject of heated discussion. One thing we agreed upon is you can't return to the future. Chris: I figured as much. The timeline's changed, I don't even know what I go back to. So what did they decide? Leo: The Elders voted to make you the Charmed Ones' new Whitelighter. Chris: They did? Leo: As a reward for helping to defeat the Titans but then somehow I figured you knew that. You know, I can't stop thinking about what Piper said and wondering myself if this wasn't part of your plan all along. Take good care of them, Chris. Don't forget, I'll be watching over you. (Leo orbs out and as the white orbs leave, Chris waves his hand and the white orbs explode into nothing. He looks around and gets up. He walks inside and closes the door with telekinesis.)

Plan: A: Leo; Q: Who turns Piper, Phoebe, and Paige into Goddesses? A: the sisters; Q: Who is having a hard time figuring out how to restore the balance in the Universe? A: Leo's assistance; Q: What is Piper missing in order to defeat the Titans? A: an Elder; Q: What is Leo becoming? A: Piper's fury; Q: What helps the Charmed Ones defeat the Titans? Summary: In part 2 of the season 6 finale, Leo turns Piper, Phoebe, and Paige into Goddesses in order to stop the Titans and restore the balance in the Universe. However, the sisters are having a hard time trying to figure out how to do so with their new, enhanced, powers and without Leo's assistance. Upon learning that Leo is becoming an Elder, Piper's fury helps the Charmed Ones ultimately defeat the Titans.

Amy: Previously on "Heartland"... Jesse: I've got the one thing that you both need. Capital. Liquidity. Cold hard cash. Ty: The last thing you wanna do is go into business with Jesse Stanton. Ty: (Hard punch) Oh! Cass: Jesse! Peter: I feel like I'm outside this family looking in. You're away so much that you feel left out, and because you feel left out you stay away longer. You're the same girl that I fell in love with... and more. Because you have changed... and in a great way. (Kissing) You're getting married... aren't you? (Gasps) You are, aren't you?! Amy and Ty: (Laughing) Yes. Jack: For real this time? Ty: Yeah. For real. Ty: Okay, you ready? Amy: (Laughing) Ty: Oh yeah. (Camera clicks repeatedly) Ty: Now that says "save the date." Amy: This is about us getting married, not the scenery. Ty: Okay, a couple more, then I gotta go to work, okay? Amy: All right. Oh, that's better. Ty: Yeah? (Camera clicks) Hey, I like that. All right. Now we're getting somewhere. Ty: Up up! That definitely says "save the date." (Camera clicks repeatedly) Both: Oops! Whoa! (Laughing) Ty: You think we got it? Amy: Mm-mm. Not yet. (Camera clicks) Ty: (Growls playfully) Amy: (Laughs) Lou: Brought you a coffee. Peter: Thank you. (Light kiss) Lou: How's your report going? Peter: Uh... good, good. It's fine. Lou: Hmm... interesting. Peter: What? Why? Lou: Nothing. I... I was just thinking... You know, if you can get your work done from here, maybe we can make it permanent? When I'm here, I'm totally out of the loop. Well, this is Calgary. I mean, there are lots of other jobs. Maybe that's something we should... explore. (Sighs) I can't, Lou... I... I can't do this right now. I got way too much on my plate already, okay? Please. Georgie: All right you guys, I've gotta go. Lou: Hey, don't forget you have a trick riding lesson after school, and I have some errands to run and your dad's busy, so I'm gonna need you to watch Katie too, okay? Georgie: But I still need to muck out the barn, and I haven't ridden Phoenix in two days! Lou: Well, you're gonna have to make some time for your sister too. (Screen door shuts) Jack: Oh, just the person I wanna talk to... Lou: Grandpa? I thought you were staying at Lisa's tonight? Jack: Well, that was the plan, but things change. That barn is a mess. What happened to doing your chores? Georgie: Okay, I'll... I'll do it after school, okay? I promise. I've gotta go. Bye! Lou: Bye! Jack: What? Peter: Trouble in paradise? (Phone rings) (Phone beeps) Lou: Hello? No, I'm sorry she's not home right now. Can I take a message? Yes. Yes, of course. I will get her to call you back right away! Okay. Thank you for calling. Bye, bye. (Phone beeps) Peter: Who's that? No one. Just a client for Amy. Caleb: The next day, I lucked into this awesome bronc called brain damage. Managed to stay on for 8 seconds, score went through the roof... Boom! Cass and Caleb: (Laughing flirtatiously) Caleb: Yeah. Ty: Caleb. What're you doing here? Well, I was... hoping to catch you. We got some business to discuss. Yeah, well, uh... maybe some other time. I got a ton of work to do. Besides, you've been on the rodeo circuit for... a couple of weeks now, I don't know what business we have to discuss. All right, well, if that's the way you want it, fine. Bye, Cass. Cass: Yeah, see ya. (Receding footsteps) (Cat meows nearby, dogs bark in the distance) What's your problem? Ty: No problem. Just... you and Caleb. Cass: (Laughs) He came here to see you, Ty. Guess who called you? Tanner Gunn! He wants to know if you can work with his horse! I'm sorry, who's Tanner Gunn? Tanner Gunn?! He-he owns that huge place near black diamond, big Gunn ranch. Oh, so like a rich weekend cowboy? Yeah, I mean he's huge in the oil business. Anyway, he has a working cow horse and he wants to know if you can help him out with it. No. I'm sorry, that's... just not what I do anymore. A guy like that definitely doesn't need my help. Lou: What?! Amy: Lou, forget it. Wait. Amy, just... (Screen door creaks open) Come on! I mean, this is a job. What's-what's wrong with you? Amy: Nothing! In fact, ever since I got back from Pike River, everything's been great. I've finally got my priorities straight. Lou: And your priorities don't include working for Tanner Gunn? Lou, there are plenty of other horse trainers out there and he can afford to hire any one of them. I wanna work with horses that actually need my help. Okay. Okay. I-I respect your choice, but I still need you to call him right away. Why? Because this long distance thing with me and Peter isn't working anymore! Well, I'm sorry, but what does that have to do with Tanner Gunn? Peter used to know him... sort of. Look, if Peter could get a job in Calgary, our biggest problem would be solved, and Tanner Gunn is the perfect guy to make that happen. Why don't you just talk to Peter about it? Lou: Don't you think I haven't tried? Every time I do, he just avoids the issue. I can't get anywhere, so... promise me you won't mention it to him. Come on, Amy. Just go and meet with Tanner, take a look at his horse and talk up Peter a little bit. You know, jog his memory about Bedford Oil. That's important. Oh! Whatever you do, don't mention Dubai. Please? S08E11 "The Silent Partner" ♪ And at the break of day you sank into your dream ♪ ♪ You dreamer ♪ ♪ oh, oh, oh... ♪ ♪ You dreamer... ♪ ♪ You dreamer... ♪ (Truck rumbles to a halt) Tanner: Amy Fleming. (Truck door bangs shut) Right on time. Tanner Gunn. Nice to meet you. I had one of my guys put together a profile on you, and I gotta say, wow. Oh... a profile? I-I guess I have to say "wow" too. Where's your horse? Tanner: I'll show you. Tanner: Dingman. Amy: I can't get much of a look at him when he's out there. Tanner: Well, that's basically the whole problem. Tanner: So background. Dingman's a great working cow horse, but he comes with a challenge. He doesn't like being stuck in a barn. Amy: So that's why you keep him out in the field. Tanner: Exactly. Which leads to challenge number two. (Dingman grunts, hooves pound heavily) (Birds chirp) Well, what're you waiting for? You expect me to catch your horse? That's why I hired you. You haven't hired me. Not yet. And if Dingman's running away from you, then there's a problem, and I'm pretty sure that that is the reason you brought me out here. Not just to catch your horse. (Thud of approaching footsteps) Lou: Grandpa, is everything okay? Jack: Yeah. Why wouldn't it be? Come on. I can tell something's going on with you. Jack: Can't a man spend time in his own home without everybody thinking there's a crisis? Lou: Who said anything about a crisis? Jack: You really wanna know? You don't wanna know. Grandpa, I wanna know. Okay, fine. So I tell Lisa about Amy's wedding and she gets all happy and excited, just like I thought she would. But right away she starts making lists and talking about designers and plans and whatever. I put my foot in it and tell her to back off... Lou: I appreciate you going to bat for me. I wasn't going to bat for you! I just said to her Amy and Ty can figure out for themselves what kind of wedding they want. They don't need anybody's help and... then it turned into an argument that no one was gonna win, so I just... Lou: So what, you just walked away without even trying to discuss it rationally? Well, we just did what we always do. We take a little break, let things cool down for a while. That's crazy, grandpa. I mean you are never gonna solve your issues by avoiding them. Jack: I gotta get going 'cause Georgie hates it when I keep her waiting. (Exasperated sigh, screen door opens and closes) (Birds chirp) Amy: The thing I don't get is, why didn't you just tell me so I could've come prepared, brought a horse? From your reputation, I assumed you would have a strategic advantage if you came into this with an open mind. So you're testing me? Let's just say I like to factor synchronicity and serendipity into my game plan. Timing and luck. You don't get to where I am without having your fair share of it. I guess you don't. Hey, uh... my brother-in-law, Peter Morris, was talking to me about you and uh... he had nothing but good things to say about how you ran your business. Tanner: Peter Morris... Bedford Oil, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. I think we met a couple times. I thought he was in Dubai? Oh... no. No, Dubai was ages ago. He's out in Vancouver now doing really, really well... but he's thinking of coming to Calgary. Tanner: Interesting. (Truck rumbles to a halt) Ty: Hey, Caleb. (Slams door) What's up? Caleb: Nothing. This is for you... and thanks for the beer. Ty: Yeah, no problem. Caleb: (Groans as he rises) Ty: What's this all about? Whoa! Caleb: Yeah, I did a little thinking when I was on the road. I mean keeping your money, it doesn't seem fair. I mean, I'm taking care of the business, you're at the vet clinic, like a silent partner, so... Ty: Yeah, man, but that's what we agreed to. I'm out, but my money stays in. Caleb: Yeah, but this way, if I make a bad deal or screw up a sale, it's your money I'm risking. If I cash this cheque, you're not gonna have any money to risk. Caleb: Don't worry about that, okay? I've already got that part taken care of. Ty: Jesse?! Caleb, you took Jesse's offer? It just makes total sense. The guy's got deep pockets and he's gonna take a back seat to the whole horse thing. Take a back seat. Yeah, so he can stab you in the back! Caleb: Look, I feel bad going into business with the guy, but... Ty: Well, you should. He sucker punched me in the face. Caleb: Yeah, well, we were all pretty drunk that night. Look, the deal with Jesse is, as long as I buy horses that I can afford and sell 'em at a good price, everything'll be fine. So... just buy low, sell high? That's your so-called business plan? It's worked out so far. Mostly. Yeah, I guess, but maybe we were just lucky. What happens now, if your luck runs out? Do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen. Yeah, right. What's going on with you and Cass? Nothing. We were just talking. Lay off, man. I'm not gonna do anything stupid. Georgie: Jack, I was wondering. I've had a crazy busy day, do you think you could get Checkers saddled while I go do some homework? Jack: 'Kay, not so fast. I want you to see something. You mean the stalls. Look, I'll muck them out tomorrow, okay? First thing, I promise. Jack: Yeah, that's a very good idea, but it's not just the state of this barn that's bugging me. You take a look at Phoenix. (Restless grunting) Georgie: Oh my God! What's wrong with him? (Phoenix grunts) Jack: If you ask me, I'd say he's bored out of his mind. Well, I can't turn him out! He'll just jump the fence and take off again. He needs you to ride him, every day, like you promised you would. Ugh! Look, I love riding Phoenix, I really do... But can't he just wait until tomorrow morning, before school? Before school, you'll be mucking out the barn, like you promised you would. Jack! Jack: Tack him up, now. I'll set the jumps for you. (Hooves thud, Phoenix pants) (Phoenix grunts) Georgie: Did you see that? He cleared it by a mile. Jack: Mm-hmm. Georgie: All right. I promise, I'll do more tomorrow. Wait a minute. What...? What're you doing? Georgie: I'm taking Phoenix back to the barn. He hasn't even broken a sweat yet. Look, I've had two hours of trick-riding lessons and I haven't had a minute off all day. I've still got tons of homework to do. Couple more times around. (Sighs) It'll only take five minutes, then I'll put him away for you. Georgie: (Exasperated sigh) Okay. (Georgie clucks her tongue) Amy: Wow. That's a lot of money. Ty: Yeah, it sure is. Every cent I put into the business, plus my share of the profits. Amy: So... Ty: Caleb decided to partner with Jesse. Amy: (Sighs) Why would he do that? Ty: Well, he said he didn't wanna risk losing any of my money. But I don't trust Jesse, Amy. If he decides to collect on his loan, Caleb's gonna be in so deep that he's gonna have to declare bankruptcy. Amy: So you're not gonna cash it? Ty: No. I'm not gonna cash it. I tried to give it back to him, but he wouldn't take it. And I don't wanna be tempted, so... (Flames crackle) Ty: (Blows out his breath) Amy: Uh... You do know that he could just write you another cheque? Ty: Yeah... but how many chances do you get to see that much money go up in flames? (Laughs) (Screen door opens and snaps shut) Amy, where have you been? I've been waiting for hours! What happened? Um, well, Caleb gave Ty a cheque and then Ty decided to burn it- No, no, no. With Tanner Gunn. How did it go? Oh, um... badly, actually. Really badly. But I did manage to mention Peter, like you asked. What did he say? Uh... he said, "interesting." Like... (Flatly) "Interesting," or like... (Intrigued) "Interesting"? I don't know. He also went on to talk about luck and timing being the secret to his success. All I know is that he is so full of himself, there is no way I'm going back there. Lou: What?! No, no, no. Amy, you have to! You can't quit on me now, Amy. I already did what you asked, Lou. Lou: And I am very grateful for that, but that was just the first step. I mean, Amy, okay, you planted the seed and now you have to watch it grow. And how am I supposed to do that? Give Tanner the impression that Peter has had offers... And make it seem like a time sensitive situation. (Chuckles) Why does everything always turn out to be about you? This isn't about me, Amy. Look, my kids need a father, I need a husband, and Peter really needs a job in Calgary! (Birds chirp, tail swishes) (Spartan grunts) All right! Tanner: So you're gonna chase him on horseback? I thought the plan was to teach Dingman not to run off on me? Amy: No. The plan is to figure out why he runs off in the first place. (Spartan snorts) You mind getting the gate? (Chain clanks, gate groans) (Spartan grunts) (Dingman grunts, hooves thunder) (Hooves thunder) (Rope whips around, hooves thunder) (Rope whips through air) (Dingman whinnies) Amy: That's it. Easy. Georgie: The bus! (Broom crashes on floor) (Georgie sighs, rooster crows in the distance) Jack! Jack: What's wrong? Georgie: I got up extra early to do my homework and muck out the barn, but... I lost track of time and I missed the bus. I need a ride. Please, I promise it won't happen again. Jack: Yeah, I've been hearing that a lot from you lately. (Slams hood shut) You know, I can't help but think you might be a little over-extended. Georgie: I've had a lot of homework this year. Please, I need a ride! Jack: You can't do anything about homework, but if you can't find the time for both Phoenix and Checkers, we're gonna have to look into some options here. Georgie: Okay, well, can we please talk about this in the truck? Jack: Maybe you can get one of your friends to help you out? How about that Olivia? Georgie: Olivia!? No way! Jack: Okay, then... Well, how about Stephen? Didn't you tell me that he's a pretty good rider? Georgie: Yeah, but... (Slams door) Phoenix is my horse and I'm the only person who can ride him. Come on! We need to get going now or else I'll be late and they'll give me detention. It'll make everything worse. Jack: How about... you add one more promise to your list and you tell me you'll think about it? Georgie: (Sighs heavily) (Door slams shut, engine starts) Tanner: Okay, Dingman, let's go. Come on. Yah! Come on! (Steers bellow) Yah! Yah! (Steer bellows) That's right, I got you now! Ha! Yah! Hey, boy! Hey, hey, hey, hey! (Dingman grunts and snorts) Tanner: Whoa... whoa... (Spurs clink) So? First impressions, the unfiltered version. Amy: Well, Dingman's a good mover. He has a nice topline and he's good at his job. Tanner: Exactly what you expect when you pay top dollar. So how about you tell me something I don't know. Amy: Okay. He's got cow sense, but you don't. And the way you ride, you're ruining it for him, you're kicking him with those big spurs and yanking on his mouth. Tanner: Look, I didn't hire you to give me riding lessons or call me on my dress-code violations. Amy: (Sighs) Okay, I don't care why you hired me. Take a look at this. See here? Your spurs have broken the skin. And here... His mouth is all inflamed. You keep riding him like this and you're giving him a real good reason to run away from you in the field. Tanner: I've worked with three top trainers. They were all blown away with how quickly I picked this up. Okay. And where are these trainers now? They quit on me. Because they didn't have time to waste chasing Dingman around, which is why you're here. Amy: (Exasperated sigh) Well, I guess you are lucky. Because I do have time to work with Dingman. That is, if you actually want my help. Tanner: (Sighs) Okay. Okay. But how 'bout you lay off the constructive criticism and focus on Dingman? Or I'll cancel the meeting I set up with that brother-in-law of yours who just happens to be looking for a job. Come on. (Hooves thud) Lou: So when is this meeting supposed to be? Amy: Tomorrow. Lou: Oh Amy! Thank you so much! You have no idea what this means to me. I'm starting to get the idea. Lou: I don't wanna get my hopes too much, but like I told you before, things with me and Peter have been... kind of rough lately, and this could be it. This could be our big shot! Get things back on track, you know? Oh! And who knows? Like maybe we can go back to the idea of getting our own place again! Lou, he hasn't even had the meeting yet. Yeah, but, Amy, have you met my husband? Can you even imagine a situation where he doesn't make a great first impression? Right? Right? Mm-muah! (Low hum of chatter, birds chirp) (Door bells jingle) Georgie: Hey! Stephen: Hey. What's up? Nothing much. Are you still riding? Only when I visit my dad. I really miss it. Do you remember my horse Phoenix? Of course. He's the jumper, right? Yeah, yeah. You see, I've been focusing a lot on my trick riding lately, and... I don't have much time to ride him. I need someone to exercise him on a regular basis. And you're asking me?! Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So... I talked to Stephen and he says he can come over and ride Phoenix for me. He's gonna start tomorrow after school. Jack: Well, I'm glad you worked that out. Amy: So, Lou, maybe we should add Stephen's name to the wedding guest list? Lou: Yes. Of course. Amy: (Chuckles) Um, and speaking of weddings, grandpa, have you patched things up with Lisa yet? Jack: There's nothing to patch up. Lou: You know you're just avoiding the inevitable. Jack: Actually, I'm just trying to eat my dinner. Lou: Look, I hate to break it to you, but everyone knows that communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Jack: We might not be talking, but we're communicating... loud and clear. We're both saying, I don't wanna talk about it. Which is exactly what I'm trying to say to you right now. But the difference is, Lisa and I, we're listening to each other. Lou: So how's your work going? Uh, same. Same. You know. I have to go into Calgary tomorrow for a meeting, by the way. Lou: Oh? You have a meeting? Uh... yeah. Yeah. Nothing special. Lou: But it must be important. I mean... going all the way into the city. No. It's just an everyday normal meeting, Lou. Lou: Who's it with? Anyone I know? No. I know where you're going with this and I don't wanna talk about it. (Sighs) Is there anything you do wanna talk about? No. It's too late for talking. (Kiss) Good night. (Light clicks off) Good night. [SCENE_BREAK] I am going to Calcary, Lou. You know I go there all the time. Lou: I know. I just want you to look nice. Peter: Okay, thank you. Bye, kitty cat. Muah. Bye! Katie: Bye! Lou: Bye, honey. Have fun! Peter: Thanks. (Screen door opens and closes) Amy: Lou, why didn't you just tell him that you know? Because last night, no matter how many hints I dropped, he didn't take the bait. Amy: So...? So he obviously doesn't wanna talk about it. Amy: Well, why not? Lou: I don't know. Maybe... maybe he just doesn't wanna disappoint me, you know, in case he doesn't get the job. Amy: Yeah... that makes sense, I guess. (Sighs heavily) Georgie: Okay. So first, I'll just take these jumps down for you. Stephen: What're you talking about? He's a jumper, isn't he? Georgie: Yes, but he gets pretty wound up. I mean, not with me, but you just... you gotta go easy on him, okay? I don't want you to risk hurting him... Or, I guess, hurting yourself. I think it would be better if you just... rode around the edge of the ring. But we could set up some cavalettis if you want? No, you don't have to do that. Georgie: Okay, here. Hop on. Okay. So... he's got a pretty soft mouth, and be careful with your reins. Stephen: Uh-huh. Georgie: But don't give him his head or he will take off. You gotta show him who's boss. Stephen: Okay, okay, I get it. Georgie: Good boy. (Hooves thud) Okay, don't bounce so much! But loosen up your reins! (Hooves thud) Inside leg! (Hooves thud) Stephen! Stephen, what're you doing? I said no jumping! (Hooves thud) Stop! Stephen: Atta boy! Georgie: What was that?! Stephen: What's your problem? Well, I told you not to take him over any jumps! Stephen: They aren't even high, and I know what I'm doing. Georgie: Yeah, but... maybe on a regular horse, but Phoenix is special, okay? I don't want him developing any bad habits. Stephen: Like what? Georgie: It doesn't matter "like what," okay?! I just want you to ride the horse like I told you to! You mean, just around and around while you yell at me? Yes! Exactly. (Phoenix snorts softly, hooves thud, tack jingles) (Diners chatter) Amy: Ty, I ordered you some chili. What's wrong? Caleb and Cass... they're making out right out there. Making out? Caleb: That was a little less than charismatic. Ty: Well... maybe they weren't making out, but there was definitely a kiss involved. Come on, Ty, you of all people should know it's not fair to make assumptions about something that could be nothing more- get down! Ty: What? Why are we hiding? Amy: Okay, that definitely counts as making out. Oh my God. What is he doing kissing his business partner's girlfriend? Peter: This is great, but uh... what's the occasion? Lou: I don't know. I just thought it would be nice for us to spend some together, just me and you. Peter: Yeah. Lou: Here you go. Peter: Thank you. (Wine pours) (Birds chirp) Lou: So, how was Calgary? Peter: Mm... It was all right. You know, same old, same old. A few meetings and... Nothing... out of the ordinary? Peter: Nope. Lou: No? Nope. Like I said, just... Yeah, a few meetings and... Lou: Mm. Peter: And uh... Lou: Did one of them happen to be with Tanner Gunn? Yes. How do you know that? Amy. She told me. Peter: Amy told you? Lou: Yeah, yeah. She's... Lou: She's working at the big Gunn ranch. That's Tanner's ranch and... She heard about it. So Amy knew about my meeting with Tanner? Lou: Mm-hmm. Peter: That's bizarre. Yeah. So how was it? Uh... it was... fine. Um, one of Tanner's people just called me up out of the blue, and so I went in and met with Tanner and... we talked a little bit about... you know, schedules, projects, industry stuff. And...? Peter: And... we talked about possibly working together in the future. No formal offer or anything though. Just more of a let's-keep-in touch kind of thing. Lou: Hmm. Peter: Yeah. Lou: And that was that! Let's keep in touch! I'm so sorry, Lou. Lou: Maybe I got carried away, you know? But I just... I thought this could really be it. This could be the answer to everything. Amy: Yeah, but there'll be other jobs, other opportunities. Yeah, but Peter isn't looking for other jobs. Lou! You're driving me crazy! You keep lecturing grandpa about communication! Why don't you take your own advice? Tell Peter why things have to change! Lou: Because, Amy, I think I already know what he's gonna say, okay? And I'm pretty sure it's not what I wanna hear. (Low hum of chatter) Georgie: Stephen! Hey. So do you wanna come over and ride Phoenix after school today? Well, I've got a lot of homework and... Yeah, sorry, I don't think I'll be able to ride him for you any more. What? I thought you said you wanted to. I did, and I really like Phoenix, but... You know, riding a horse, it's supposed to be fun and you made it totally not fun. (Diners chatter) Sorry. (Door opens) Tanner: Come on. Go, go, go! Go, go! Come on! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Okay, I don't see what this has to do with collecting a horse from a field. This isn't gonna work if you keep talking. Come on! Go, go, go! Go, go! Come on! Come on! Well, so what now? Amy: Just keep driving him. Tanner: Ha! That's it, you're almost there. Y'know, to tell you the truth, I didn't think you were gonna show up today. Ha! Ha! Amy: Why not? Tanner: 'Cause you got what you wanted. Ha! The meeting with your brother-in-law. That's not why I'm here. Tanner: Ha! Come on! Ha! Amy: Okay. Now, now turn away... take the pressure off him. Let Dingman decide what to do. (Dingman pants) (happy sigh) (Birds chirp, Dingman snorts softly) Whoa! He's never done that before! Amy: Now, give him a pat. Let him know that he made the right choice trusting you. Good boy, Dingman. Good boy. That's a good boy, yes. I totally get it. Lean in too hard, you break the connection. Ease off, the nexus of power shifts back to you. You stumbled on the basics of motivational dynamics. Amy: Yeah, that's exactly what I stumbled on. By the way, I didn't take this job so I could push Peter on you. I just thought it would be good if you two met. Tanner: Mm. So did I. My gut told me the time was right. The chemistry was good, all the elements were in sync. So I made him the best offer he's gonna get in this town. Amy: What happened? Tanner: Well, nothing so far. Just waiting to hear back from him. I think I should tell Lou. She will find out it anyway. Ty: Yeah, but if Peter's planning a big surprise, you'll have ruined it for them. Amy... Let's say I was planning to propose to you. (Snorts) I think you already did that. Okay, but let's just say. And I don't know what size ring to buy you, so I ask Lou- Whoa, whoa, wrong person, you know her with secrets. Continue. Ty: How would you feel if she already told you? The big day comes... I pop some champagne, I pull out the ring... It's supposed to be a special moment between me and you, and instead, it's this... "Yeah, cool. I knew that." Amy: (Snorts with laughter) Ty: Amy, I'm serious. Okay? Lou's got you way too wrapped up in this. Peter is the one who should tell her. Not you. (Feed rustles) Jack: What happened? I thought you had Stephen riding Phoenix for you? Well, yeah, but... (Gate clicks open) he decided he didn't want to any more. Well... why? (Gate clanks shut) Georgie: Because of me. Look, I... (Sighs heavily) When I saw him riding Phoenix, I got all... I-I don't know. Jealous? Maybe. I didn't want Phoenix to be a good horse. I wanted him to be himself, you know? Difficult and strong-headed. But no. Nothing happened. They were perfect together! So I... I yelled at him and... I didn't let him jump, so I... I pretty much ruined everything. Okay. Well, you say... that Stephen and Phoenix are a good fit, right? 'Kay. So why don't you give him another try? I don't know if I can. Of course you can! Pick up the phone... "Hi Stephen. It's Georgie. I wanna tell you how sorry I am and how much I appreciated all your help, and I promise I won't wreck things anymore." See? Done. Hmm.. Georgie: 'Kay, well... W-where are you going? Jack: (Amused) Oh, I got a call to make too. Georgie: Stephen. Yeah. Hi, it... it-it's Georgie. (Birds chirp, grasses rustle in the breeze) Lou: You know, when Amy told me about that meeting with Tanner Gunn, it made me realize how great it would be if you actually did get a job in Calgary. Peter: You know what's funny about that? I've been meaning to ask you... Um... if you knew about that meeting, why didn't you just tell me? Lou: Uh, because... I didn't wanna jinx it. I mean, if you actually did get a serious offer. Peter: Right. Yeah, it's too bad about that. But you know, life doesn't always go the way you want it to, right? Lou... come here. Look at me. I know you're disappointed, okay? But you shouldn't be. I mean, we got a good thing going here. I'm-I'm making good money, we get to spend time together, we get to spend time with Georgie and Katie... Lou: But, honey, I get to spend all of my time with them, twenty-four hours a day, and you're usually not here. For you, it's just quality time. Well... every job comes with a price, Lou. You know that. And me working in Vancouver, is that really such a high price to pay? Lou: Maybe not for you, but y-you have got two lives, and you get to decompress in between them. (Peter's phone buzzes) I have-I have one life, Peter, and it's here. Peter: I have to take this. (Phone buzzes) Sorry. Lou: (Sighs heavily) Oh... okay. Okay. (Phone beeps) Hey. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. It's fine. It's good timing. Yes, I'm all set up. Let me just grab my laptop we'll go through it... Amy: Okay, you definitely don't need these spurs... And I don't wanna see you kicking him either. Keep your reins loose and low. Just let the horse do his job. Tanner: Okay, like you mean... I'm just a passenger? Amy: Well, more like a silent partner, right? And if you trust the horse, maybe he'll trust you too. Tanner: Okay. Amy: All right. Tanner: 'Kay, come on. (Dingman grunts and pants) (Steer bellows) Tanner: Come on, Dingman. Come on! Come on, boy! (Steer bellows) Amy: Be patient, all right? Don't push him too hard. Tanner: 'Kay, I got this. Atta boy! Amy: Let him follow the feel. That's it! Tanner: Ha! Yah! (Steer bellows) (Hooves thud) Careful. Tanner: Ha! Yah! Keep your elbows down! Tanner: Okay. Ha! There you go! (Steer bellows) Ha! Yah! Whoa... Amy: Okay, that was definitely an improvement. Tanner: Well, that's good to know. I was starting to wonder if I'm getting my money's worth on this guy. (Laughing) I'm not talking about Dingman. He is a great horse and you definitely got your money's worth. It's you that still needs a lot of work! (Chuckles) Okay. If you're looking for Cass, she's out doing the rounds with Scott. Caleb: I'm not looking for Cass, I'm looking for you. I was just at the bank. You didn't uh... You didn't cash that cheque. Ty: No, I didn't. I burned it. (Laughing) What? You burned it? Who burns a cheque? I do. And it was a symbolic gesture. But after seeing you making out with Cass outside Maggie's, I seriously regret it. Caleb: What are you talking about? Dude, I saw you slobbering all over her. Okay, you know what? For the record, it was just a little goodbye peck on the cheek. There was no slobbering involved. Right. Does Jesse know about this? No. (Sighs) I'll tell him when the time is right. (Snorts) Really. And when's the right time to tell your business partner that you're hooking up with his girlfriend? I don't know. (Chuckles) What're you laughing at, man? Okay, Cass has exams. I'll tell him after that, but we'll have to proceed with some caution given the financial implications, but... Ty: Yeah, and because you're totally screwed if Jesse calls in his loan and you don't have enough money to bail yourself out. Caleb: Okay, I-I get it. I appreciate your concern, but don't worry. I'm not gonna touch the money. Ty: All right. Look, man, I've watched it go up in flames once already, and if you keep doing what you're doing, it's gonna happen for real. Caleb: (Sighs heavily) (Sighs heavily) (Tack jingles, hooves thunder) (Gate creaks shut) (Chain clanks) You know, Amy, in the end, I think we make a pretty good team. I'm glad it worked out for you. Oh, I think it worked out for the both of us. Now, I know we may have had our differences at the beginning, but when you get to the point I'm at in life, you realize it's not about surrounding yourself with yes men. You also need people who are gonna say no to you. So... I'm gonna need a new trainer, and I think you are the perfect person for the job. Well, thank you. But I've got a lot going on right now and I need to focus on what's important to me. But I'm more than happy to find you a trainer that'll say no to you. Wow. First, your brother-in-law turns me down, and now you... Amy: Wha...? Peter turned you down? When did that happen? Tanner: This morning. Just like you, no discussion, no negotiation, just thanks but no thanks. Lou: That's impossible. I don't believe it! Amy: That's what he told me, Lou. Lou: Maybe it was just a low-ball offer, like a courtesy type of thing? Amy: No. See, Tanner told me that he made Peter a great offer and that Peter just said no. Lou: That doesn't make any sense. Why would Peter refuse a job with Tanner Gunn? Well, I wouldn't work for him. He's so full of himself it would make me puke. Maybe he's lying about the offer? I don't see why he would do that. Just to show you how much power and money he has to throw around? No. See, we're past that. Now, he's all about impressing me with his intuitive understanding of horses. If what you're saying is true, then Peter didn't just avoid telling me about the offer and the meeting. He totally lied to me. Ty: Hey, Caleb, what's up now? Well, I had a chance to talk to Cass. We decided to cool things off a bit until she's had a chance to tell Jesse. Good. Glad to hear that, man. This is for you. Ty: What is it? Caleb: (Slams door shut) It's like I said, I didn't want you to have to worry. (Starts engine) (Zipper unzips) (Truck rumbles away) Lou: That's a pretty dress. What do you think about that one? Katie: Uh... I wanna pink one. Lou: I know, but I don't think it's gonna be a very pink wedding, honey. (Gasps) How about that one? Katie: I still want a pink one. Lou: (Chuckles) Where are you going? Jack: (Bag thumps on floor) Oh, I called Lisa last night. Lou: Oh? Why don't you go play, okay? And? Jack: And she said that... she knows that she can be kind of pushy when she just means to be helpful, and that she won't get involved with the wedding unless she asks Amy. I said I was sorry about sticking my foot in it, and I'd talk to Amy, see how she feels about Lisa helping out. Lou: And now you're going back there like nothing happened? Jack: Yeah. Well, that's the plan, I guess. Lou: Do you have to go? (Sighs) I didn't mean that, I just... Everything okay? Lou: Yes. (Sighs) No. I... I just-I just feel so stupid, you know, criticizing you and Lisa for... (Shaky breath) the way you communicate or don't... and... (Shaky breath) (Bag and hat thump on floor) Jack: What's wrong, Lou? Lou: (Crying) Peter and I... Our entire marriage is based on nothing but dishonesty and deceit! (Crying) (Crying) Georgie: Stephen, I'm really glad you decided to come back. Stephen: It's no problem. Georgie: And I promise I'm not gonna tell you what to do or how to jump or anything, okay? I'm just gonna... Go and do my homework and let you have some fun, 'kay? Do whatever. Stephen: Maybe you could stick around for a bit, in case I knock off a few rails? Georgie: Yeah, yeah, sure. Okay, go ahead. (Stephen clucks his tongue) (Hooves thud, Phoenix grunts) (Hooves thud) Ty: So he offered you a job? Amy: Yeah, and I was pretty hard on him. But as it turns out, he appreciated my honesty. (Laughing) You know, everything that happened with you and me is because I wasn't totally straight with you. So from now on, no matter what, let's always tell each other the truth. Ty: I swear to tell the truth... Amy: Ty! The whole truth and nothing but the truth... Amy: I'm being serious! Come on! Ty: I'm serious too! Amy: I just don't wanna end up like Lou and Peter, okay? Always tiptoeing around the truth, making things so much harder. Ty: Yup. Amy: And grandpa and Lisa, they're just avoiding the issues altogether. Ty: Well, if we're gonna be totally honest, there's something I gotta show you. Hold on a second. (Door clicks open and shut) Amy: (Amused) Okay... Are you taking a trip... to the 1960s? Ty: Uh, no. I told Caleb I burned his cheque and he gave me this to make sure that my money's safe in case the whole thing with Jesse... (Unzips bag) goes up in his face. Amy: What?! Oh my... (Money bundles rustle) Are you serious?! Ty: Yeah, I'm serious. Look at it all. Not too shabby, huh? Amy: Not too shabby at all. So... what-what is your plan? What're you gonna do with all this? Ty: Wrong question. We're about to get married, right? So the right question is, what're we gonna do with this... (Kiss) Ty: Together? Amy: Right. What are we gonna do with this? Ty: (Whispers) I have no idea. Amy: (Laughs) Ty: (Laughing) Woo-hoo! Amy: (Laughing hysterically) ♪ Please baby, please... ♪ ♪ Come back to me ♪ Peter: Good one! Ha-ha! ♪ Words that have broken ♪ Peter: Look at 'em go, kitty cat! Peter: Yeah! Woo-hoo-hoo! Georgie: Nice! Katie: I wanna play him. Peter: I know! ♪ If you come back you'll see ♪ ♪ the window's wide open ♪ Peter: Here they come again! That's great! ♪ For hearts that are long gone away ♪ Georgie: Woo-hoo! All right! ♪ For hearts that are long gone away... ♪ ♪ For hearts that are long gone away ♪ Announcer: On the next Heartland... You're not afraid of a harmless ball python, are you? Announcer: A new friend slips away. And so does a marriage. There's something keeping you in Vancouver away from me. She's toying with us. Announcer: Heartland returns, Sunday February 1st at 7:00 on CBC.

Plan: A: A client; Q: Who reveals that Peter turned down a lucrative job offer in Calgary? A: two horses; Q: How many horses does Georgie have to care for? A: Georgie; Q: Who struggles to accept a friend's help with Phoenix? A: Ty; Q: Who discovers that Caleb took Jesse up on his offer? A: an unexpected windfall; Q: What does Ty receive that reveals Caleb took Jesse up on his offer? A: Jesse; Q: Who did Caleb form a partnership with? A: a disagreement; Q: What sent Jack back to Heartland early from his overnighter with Lisa? A: Lou; Q: Who struggles to accept Jack and Lisa's form of communication? Summary: A client reveals that Peter turned down a lucrative job offer in Calgary. With increasing demands on her time and two horses to care for, Georgie struggles to accept a friend's help with Phoenix. Then, when Ty receives an unexpected windfall, he discovers that Caleb took Jesse up on his offer and forged a partnership with him. When a disagreement sends Jack back to Heartland early from his overnighter with Lisa, Lou struggles to accept their chosen form of communication: not talking.

THE CRUSADE - EPISODE 2 DAVID WHITAKER first broadcast - 3rd April 1965 [SCENE_BREAK] 1. INTERIOR OF A CHAMBER IN KING RICHARD'S PALACE AT JAFFA (The room is fair sized and dreary looking with heavy drapes behind the King's throne. A candelabra off to the side illuminates the room slightly. The Doctor, Vicki, Ian, de Tornebu, and a guard are before The King.) DE TORNEBU: My lord, although we left a little of our pride back in the wood, there is some capital to be gained from the affair. Beside the violence and the tragedy, it has a humour. RICHARD: (Turning to The Doctor with disbelief.) Humour? Is he delirious? THE DOCTOR: (Chuckling.) I think I know what he means, Sire. Here Saladin, mighty ruler and commander of huge armies, believes he's captured you, hmm! VICKI: (Optimistically.) You could turn this into a good story against Saladin. DE TORNEBU: Look on the brighter side, my lord. A troop of men to capture one of your knights? Why he-he'd need an army by itself and more to take your horse, or every man he has or more to take you prisoner. THE DOCTOR: You could spread this tale by word of mouth and all the world would know that Saladin fears you, hmm? VICKI: (Happily.) Sire, if you send to him and asked if he'd finished playing his game and could you have your knight back, it would make him look such a fool. (The King smiles.) RICHARD: There is a jest here. Albeit a grim one with our friends dead. But Saladin must be just as much out of temper over this affair as we are. THE DOCTOR: Your messenger might offer to exchange a hundred prisoners for the knight he holds. RICHARD: We think we value Sir William highly. We do, but it would not be good to let Saladin know. THE DOCTOR: He might think you undervalue his men - one hundred men to one of yours. (Laughing.) Me thinks a fair bargain, Sire. RICHARD: (Chuckling.) By my father's name, you have wit, old man. (To the guard.) Guard... call the Chamberlain! (The guard bows and quickly exits.) RICHARD: We recognise the service you have rendered us and will be pleased to see you in our court. THE DOCTOR: We are your servants, Sire. RICHARD: As to the sending of a messenger... Joanna! (The King's sister enters. She is of medium height and fair haired.) JOANNA: Brother, are you wounded? RICHARD: Even my pride has been mended, sister. See these good people: courage, loyalty, and wit are gathered here. (Joanna looks over the small group. They all bow except for de Tornebu who tries to rise but cannot.) DE TORNEBU: Forgive me, my lady. JOANNA: This man should be in his bed. RICHARD: Yes. (Angrily.) Chamberlain! Where are you? CHAMBERLAIN: Coming, Sire! Coming! (The Chamberlain along with Thatcher, his assistant, enter. He is a handsome man with well-kept white hair, similar to The Doctor's. He also has a long, white moustache.) RICHARD: Take this knight and see that he is well looked after and find places for these others. They have our patronage. CHAMBERLAIN: Thatcher, guard, lend a hand! (The Chamberlain, Ian, and Thatcher help de Tornebu to his feet. Vicki picks up his sword.) VICKI: Be careful. Mind his shoulder. IAN: We should carry him! (They lift him up.) VICKI: Shall I help? IAN: No, I think we can manage. (The Doctor observes Joanna staring at Vicki.) JOANNA: This is a young man? THE DOCTOR: His voice has not yet broken, your Highness. JOANNA: What is your name? VICKI: Uh... uh, Victor. JOANNA: Do you sing songs? Or play an instrument? VICKI: No, nobody ever showed me. JOANNA: We must do something about your clothes, at least. (The Chamberlain looks at the clothes Vicki wears and frowns.) THE DOCTOR: (bowing.) Your Highness... (To Vicki.) Come, Victor! Let us tend upon the others. (They carry de Tornebu to the entrance. A servant enters to assist, and with the aid of the Chamberlain and Thatcher, they lead de Tornebu from the room.) CHAMBERLAIN: (To Ian.) Thank you young man. You may leave him to us. [SCENE_BREAK] 2. OUTSIDE OF THE CHAMBER IAN: Giving him back his belt didn't help us very much. THE DOCTOR: I certainly didn't like the way the Chamberlain examined Vicki's clothes. And come to think of it, they were originally stolen from here. VICKI: Ssh! (The King watches them from a short distance.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3. INTERIOR OF A CHAMBER IN KING RICHARD'S PALACE AT JAFFA (The King observes The Doctor, Ian, and Vicki through the archway. The Doctor and Ian bow and exit.) JOANNA: Strange people. RICHARD: Good friends. (The King examines a jewel hanging around Joanna's neck.) And what is this? I have not seen this jewel before. JOANNA: A gift from the man you fight. RICHARD: Saladin? JOANNA: His brother, Saphadin. Oh, I have given no cause for his attention. RICHARD: Saladin sends me presents of fruit and snow when I am sick and now his brother decorates you with his jewels. Yet with our armies do we both lock in deadly combat, watering the land with a rain of blood, and the noise of thunder is drowned in the shouts of dying men. JOANNA: Your heart calls for England, Richard. RICHARD: Aye, it does. JOANNA: Is there no kind of peace with Saladin? RICHARD: All wise men look for peace. The terms of peace make wise men look fools. I would have Ascalon, but Saladin fears that if he gives me that town then I will invade Egypt, and nothing I can say can make him change his mind. How this jewel radiates the light. (The King, thinking, plays with the jewel around his sister's neck. He looks into her eyes and smiles.) RICHARD: So... Saphadin desires my sister. JOANNA: But surely you and Saladin have some common meeting ground, Richard. RICHARD: (Deep in thought, his voice trailing.) Joanna...? Saphadin...? (The King looks back at Joanna as the light catches the jewel.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4. INTERIOR OF AN ANTEROOM TO SALADIN'S CHAMBER AT RAMLAH (El Akir is talking to Sheyrah, a serving woman of Saladin's court. He holds a ring out to her as a bribe.) EL AKIR: Now take this and tell me where the woman is. SHEYRAH: No. EL AKIR: Then bring her to me. SHEYRAH: No! EL AKIR: Then deserve my displeasure! SHEYRAH: My lord is greater than you! (El Akir grips her hand.) EL AKIR: Where is she?? (Luigi Ferrigo, a Genoese merchant, enters. Sheyrah pulls her hand away and exits. Luigi is a devious, greedy man, about 40 years old, thin, and ugly.) LUIGI: She was a fool not to take the ring. (He moves over and taking it from El Akir holds it up and examines it.) LUIGI: But perhaps you were asking too much for it. (El Akir takes it back.) LUIGI: Now I have something to ask of... someone. If only I knew their price. EL AKIR: I'm not bought by you, merchant. LUIGI: You are an Emir, El Akir. What possessions of mine could possibly match those you already own? But I am travelled from Tyre to speak with Saladin at Ramlah, a weary journey, and neither he nor his brother will receive me. EL AKIR: It's nothing to me. I am leaving Ramlah! LUIGI: Do you return to your palace at Lydda? EL AKIR: Yes. LUIGI: Then what keeps you here? (El Akir turns way, silent and angry.) LUIGI: We both have reasons for being here, El Akir. Can we not help each other? EL AKIR: And what is your reason, merchant? LUIGI: Conrad of Tyre has sent an emissary here to make a treaty with your overlord. I come on his heels. Where there is a treaty there is a chance of profit. What lies unwanted on my ships at Tyre will find a home in Saladin. And from him I can buy and stock my ships again. EL AKIR: And what is my part in this, merchant? LUIGI: Arrange an audience with Saladin or his brother. But how will I repay such a favour? EL AKIR: There is a woman here, an English woman. She made me look a fool. I shall take her to my palace at Lydda and then we shall see who the fool is... (Angrily.) or the master! LUIGI: A simple matter. Arrange my audience then wait by the stables. I'll bring the woman to you. [SCENE_BREAK] 5. INTERIOR OF A ROOM IN SALADIN'S PALACE AT RAMLAH (The room has two sets of curtains, one leading outside and the other leading to another room within the Palace. Barbara examines her face in a hand mirror. Sheyrah stands behind her, adjusting some of Barbara's luxurious costume.) SHEYRAH: Your lord will be dazzled with your beauty, my lady. BARBARA: (Unsure that she wants him to be.) Thank you, Sheyrah. SHEYRAH: Lady, I... (Sheyrah hovers in the background as though she wants to speak. Barbara senses this and turns to look at her.) BARBARA: What is it? SHEYRAH: (Avoiding what's really on her mind.) Uh, the whispers are about that you will tell a never-ending story... BARBARA: Oh, yes... (To herself.) how did I get myself involved in this? SHEYRAH: Be at peace, my lady. You only tremble at the honour of appearing before the great Sultan. (Barbara smiles at Sheyrah and turns back to continue adorning herself. Then Sheyrah moves closer and whispers.) SHEYRAH: I must tell you something, my lady. You have made an enemy... you must beware... BARBARA: An enemy? SHEYRAH: El Akir is planning... I know not what, but he's an evil man. BARBARA: Wh - how do you know this? SHEYRAH: (With dread in her voice.) Already he has tried to buy my loyalty with precious stones. You must be cautious. Escape if you can. (Sheyrah looks around fearfully, thinking she's said too much.) BARBARA: El Akir? But... but surely Saladin... SHEYRAH: I cannot say more, my lady. BARBARA: (Reassuringly.) Sheyrah... SHEYRAH: Please, my lady!! I will fetch your shoes. BARBARA: Escape? But how? (Sheyrah, meanwhile, has already exited through one of the curtains. Barbara turns over in her mind what Sheyrah has spoken to her but then contemplates the more immediate problems ahead.) BARBARA: (Sighing.) A never-ending story. (More sighing.) Oh... what am I going to do? Stories... stories... Shakespeare! Yes! Romeo and Juliet! Hans Christian Andersen... Liliput... Gulliver's Tra-- (A hand suddenly appears and parts the beaded curtain at the entrance. Barbara looks up, startled. Luigi appears, with a finger to his lips. In his other hand he holds his gloves. He peers around the room. Barbara rises.) LUIGI: (Whispering.) I am Luigi Ferrigo... merchant from Genoa. I have got a horse for you at the stables. BARBARA: Did Sir William send you? (Luigi signals silence and speed.) SHEYRAH: (OOV.) Which shoes shall I bring, my lady? LUIGI: (Whispering.) Sir William? Yes, yes, he sent me. Now please hurry! (Luigi, putting down his gloves, removes his cloak and puts it around Barbara's shoulders. By accident he leaves behind one glove. Silently he leads Barbara through the beaded curtain. A moment later Sheyrah returns with a pair of shoes and looks around, mystified at the now empty room.) SHEYRAH: My la-? (She moves toward the doorway.) SHEYRAH: My lady? (She walks to the table and puts down the shoes. As she does so, she spots the glove and looks at it thoughtfully as she picks it up.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6. INTERIOR SECTION OF STABLES (A horse is snorting and stamping. An upright beam and a portion of a wooden partition are visible. The floor is covered with straw. El Akir is present, standing half in shadow. He hears a sound and draws back out of sight. Luigi steers Barbara into the stables.) BARBARA: But where is he? LUIGI: We are almost there! Now please hurry! (They wait around a bit.) LUIGI: The man should be here. (El Akir appears behind Barbara, wearing an evil grin.) EL AKIR: He is. (Barbara tries to scream, but he El Akir muffles her. He puts a hand over her mouth and holds her arms with his other hand.) EL AKIR: (To Luigi, while struggling with Barbara.) Your way is open to the Sultan's brother. (Luigi leaves; El Akir pulls Barbara into the shadows.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7. INTERIOR OF A ROBING ROOM IN KING RICHARD'S PALACE (The room is small with one bench and some stools. Clothes hang over bars and in scattered piles. Ian is nearly finished dressing as a knight. The Doctor adjusts his rich tunic while Vicki looks on.) IAN: (Struggling with his clothes.) Oh, I think this whole thing is ridiculous! THE DOCTOR: (Chuckling.) You do, do you? Then I suggest we get along with it. IAN: (Still struggling.) But what have I got to put this lot on? THE DOCTOR: How should I know, dear fellow? If the King wants you to surely that's good enough, hmm? VICKI: Anyway, what are you complaining about? For all you know, it might give you a better chance to find Barbara. (Meanwhile, Ian finishes getting ready.) THE DOCTOR: Never mind the mights, my dear. Just concentrate on what you're doing. Here we are now. I think just the... just the sword and, uh, you're ready. IAN: Ready for what?? THE DOCTOR: Oh, the King will tell you that. D'you know, my boy, I have an idea that King Richard still wants to send you to see Saladin after all, hmm? [SCENE_BREAK] 8. INTERIOR OF A CHAMBER IN KING RICHARD'S PALACE (The King, eating, dictates a letter to a priest. A servant waits off to the side.) RICHARD: (With mouth full.) And not only this kingdom, its towns and fortresses shall be yours, but also the Frankish kingdom. Our sister, the Princess Joanna, whose beauty is already spoken of wherever men of judgement and discernment are, is a fit match for one who not only enjoys so grand... uh no, not grand, uh... eminent... so eminent a brother as the Sultan Saladin but who also possesses an element of his own. Prince Saphadin, we beg you to prefer this match and thus make us your brother. (To the priest.) Now, let me see. (The King looks over the letter and then signs his name to it. Next, pressing his signet ring into hot sealing wax, he seals it and hands the letter to a waiting servant.) RICHARD: Hmm, see it's delivered immediately. (The servant bows and exits, and so does the priest. As they leave, The Doctor, Ian, and Vicki enter.) RICHARD: Ahh, sirrah... some business with you. Come closer. THE DOCTOR: Your royal commands have been carried out, your majesty. (The King sits down on his throne and picks up his gold belt, weighing it in his hands.) RICHARD: Hmmm. (To Ian.) Take this gold belt to the Sultan Saladin. Beg him to release Sir William des Preaux and your companion. VICKI: (Happily.) Ian... how marvellous! THE DOCTOR: You are very gracious, Sire. RICHARD: Do you wonder why I listen to your appeal? THE DOCTOR: It is a king's prerogative to make yesterday's deafness today's keen hearing. RICHARD: No, more than that - although we do not doubt that we are surrounded by loyal men, yet we fear that war is uppermost in their minds. Between ourselves we plan a match between Joanna and Saphadin to bring peace. This is why we choose to send you rather than those who are closer to us. Bring back Sir William and your companion. But bring us hope as well. (Angrily.) This blood-letting must stop! IAN: May I leave at once, Sir? RICHARD: Is it love of peace or is it love of your companion that prompts this enthusiasm? Well, whatever the reason, may it speed you back to us. I have one duty to perform before you leave. (The King looks at Vicki who's holding the sword.) RICHARD: Give me the sword, boy. (Vicki approaches the King.) RICHARD: You are without rank or title and while we do not doubt your courage, our emissary shall speak from a proper position of authority. (The King draws the sword.) RICHARD: What is your name? IAN: Ian Chesterton. RICHARD: Kneel. IAN: But I... THE DOCTOR: (Eagerly.) Kneel, kneel, my boy. Kneel, kneel, come along, come along... (Ian kneels. The King taps the sword on each of Ian's shoulders.) RICHARD: In the name of God, St. Michael, and St. George, we dub you SIR Ian, Knight of Jaffa. Arise Sir Ian and be valiant. (The King holds out his hand and Ian kisses it.) IAN: Your majesty. [SCENE_BREAK] 9. INTERIOR OF A ROBING ROOM IN KING RICHARD'S PALACE (The robing room, like the King's throne room, is dark and dreary. It has no wooden or metal door, just heavy drapes covering the doorway. The Chamberlain is present and also Ben Daheer, the clothing merchant from whom The Doctor took the clothes.) CHAMBERLAIN: ...with long white hair? BEN: Yes, my lord, yes. CHAMBERLAIN: A dark cloak, which nearly brushes the ground? BEN: The same, and if he has the articles you mentioned, then he stole them from me. CHAMBERLAIN: Then we shall wait here for his return and face him with his infamy. [SCENE_BREAK] 10. INTERIOR OF A CHAMBER IN SALADIN'S PALACE (A window is open, and the sounds of people and animals from outside can be heard. Saphadin is seated on his throne facing into the room. Luigi Ferrigo stands in front of him. Behind Saphadin, in a throne facing the opposite direction, sits Saladin hidden by drapes. He hears everything they say.) LUIGI: Perfumes, materials from Baghdad, ivory, gold, spices - all these, Prince Saphadin, are now but a trickle because of this war. SAPHADIN: My brother has not yet made any treaty with Conrad of Tyre. LUIGI: I am a merchant and hope I do no wrong in anticipating events, my lord. SAPHADIN: You are seeking a concession? LUIGI: I am, yes Sire. I am well-known for my proper dealings. SAPHADIN: Yes, your reputation has flown ahead of you. Where there are transactions to be made, there will one find Master Ferrigo. LUIGI: It is my calling, Prince Saphadin. SAPHADIN: Well, help me judge another matter and I may understand your mind a little better. (Saladin comes out from behind the drapes.) SALADIN: I will hear this. SAPHADIN: Yes, brother. (Luigi bows. Saladin nods. Saphadin claps his hands.) SALADIN: This is a domestic matter only, but since it concerns a person nearer your way of thinking than ours, we welcome your advice. (Luigi bows again. Sir William des Preaux enters with Sheyrah.) SAPHADIN: A prisoner has escaped. LUIGI: Indeed? SALADIN: A woman, one I hoped might perhaps divert this court. I had reason to believe she was a teller of stories. SAPHADIN: (To Sheyrah.) Speak! SHEYRAH: (Frightened and tearful.) Do not blame me! (She flings herself down in front of them.) SALADIN: Tell me what happened. SHEYRAH: I do not know. I went to fetch her shoes, and when I returned she was gone. That's all I know! SALADIN: And you, Sir William, know nothing of this affair? DES PREAUX: Nothing, lord Saladin. I would not encourage a lady to venture out alone. SALADIN: I believe you. Nor do I believe the woman would go by herself. SAPHADIN: What is your opinion, merchant? LUIGI: (Nervously.) Uh, this woman, uh, had an accomplice perhaps, a companion who helped her, acted as her guide. DES PREAUX: She was abducted, that is the only explanation. SALADIN: Yes! LUIGI: (Still nervously.) I see, of course. That is an explanation. SAPHADIN: What else have you to say, woman? SHEYRAH: You mean... what I found? SAPHADIN: Yes. SHEYRAH: On the table I found a glove. SALADIN: A man's glove? SHEYRAH: Yes, my lord! SALADIN: This glove? SHEYRAH: Yes lord! (Saladin produces the glove and looks directly at Luigi.) SALADIN: It... has a companion, Sir William. (Des Preaux lunges toward Luigi and pulls the other glove from his belt.) DES PREAUX: (In absolute rage.) Where is she? What have you done with her? (He grabs Luigi, frightening him. Luigi looks to the others for help.) LUIGI: (Struggling.) I - I - I - I took her... to El Akir... [SCENE_BREAK] 11. A CORRIDOR OUTSIDE THE ROBING ROOM IN KING RICHARD'S PALACE (The Doctor, Vicki, and Ian walk down a corridor.) THE DOCTOR: I hope you will find Barbara safe and well, dear boy - err, heh, Sir Ian. VICKI: Good luck, Ian. Be as quick as you can. IAN: I will Vicki. THE DOCTOR: Godspeed! And remember: be valiant! (The Doctor shakes Ian's hand. Ian smiles at Vicki and exits. The Doctor and Vicki watch him go.) THE DOCTOR: I almost wish I'd been knighted, too. (The two start laughing.) VICKI: That'll be the day! (The Doctor laughs more.) VICKI: Come on, let's go and tidy Ian's things. (The Doctor opens the curtains of the robing room and enters, followed by Vicki.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12. INTERIOR OF A ROBING ROOM IN KING RICHARD'S PALACE (The Chamberlain is waiting for The Doctor and Vicki. As soon as they enter, he steps across the door way and blocks it. The Doctor turns to face him and then notices that Ben Daheer is also present, standing in a corner.) CHAMBERLAIN: Ah! I have been waiting to speak with you. THE DOCTOR: Oh? Pray, what about? BEN: Thief! VICKI: (Much insulted.) I beg your pardon! THE DOCTOR: What's this? BEN: (To The Doctor and Vicki, "pouring it on thick".) Visitor of sorrows, depriver of my children, robber of my goods! THE DOCTOR: Who is this? (To Vicki.) Do you know? VICKI: No... ooh, his face is a bit familiar... CHAMBERLAIN: You stole some clothing! THE DOCTOR: Really? CHAMBERLAIN: (Holding up Ian's hunting outfit.) Do you see this riding habit? It was taken from this very room. Now it is back here again. THE DOCTOR: (Chuckling.) And a pretty poor garment, too, hmm, hmm! CHAMBERLAIN: (Holding up more clothing.) This... and this... stolen from me. BEN: And stolen from me! THE DOCTOR: Yes, now there really is a point there, isn't there? If I stole from you, my lord Chamberlain, how could I steal from him? BEN: You did! You did steal from me! THE DOCTOR: Then how could I steal from him, eh? You blockhead! CHAMBERLAIN: Oh please! Please! Now I had the clothes first. THE DOCTOR: Oh, how nice for you. BEN: And I had them second. VICKI: Did you buy them? BEN: Yes. VICKI: From us? BEN: No. THE DOCTOR: Then whoever it was stole them from you must have sold them to you. Now, don't you agree, hmm? CHAMBERLAIN: Er... yes. (Thatcher enters carrying fruit.) THATCHER: My lord Chamberlain, a ship is in the harbour disgorging fruit from Acre. (Ben Daheer turns and points to Thatcher.) BEN: That's the man! I bought them from him! (The Doctor turns to the Chamberlain.) THE DOCTOR: He must have stolen them from you. CHAMBERLAIN: Thatcher! You villain! (Thatcher drops the fruit and runs out of the room. The Chamberlain attempts to run after him, but The Doctor stops him.) THE DOCTOR: Now just a minute! Oh, my dear Chamberlain - so undignified. The merchant bought the clothes in good faith and paid for them in good money. Now please return his money. (The Chamberlain reluctantly gets his purse.) CHAMBERLAIN: But - but I must catch the thief! THE DOCTOR: Now, now, now! You mustn't let an honest man suffer! Pay him! CHAMBERLAIN: Doh! (He gives his purse to Ben and runs out after Thatcher.) CHAMBERLAIN: (OOV.) Thatcher! Thatcher! BEN: (Positively thrilled, to The Doctor.) Joy to you, my lord! Giver of life to my father, provider! THE DOCTOR: Yes, off you go! Off you go! (The Doctor, laughing, ushers Ben from the room. He turns to Vicki.) THE DOCTOR: Well, we seem to have got out of that problem alright, hmm? (They both share a good laugh.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13. EXTERIOR OF THE DOORS OF EL AKIR'S PALACE (The exterior has a white stucco archway with heavy doors. Two sentries stand at attention as El Akir approaches. Horses sound in the background.) EL AKIR: The woman tied to the horse - bring her! (He enters the palace. One of the sentries drags Barbara in, her wrists bound.) FIRST SENTRY: Another one for El Akir's cage. SECOND SENTRY: I swear it to be the finest collection in Islam. (Barbara pushes the sentry by her side into the other and both fall down. She runs away, and they get up and go after her.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14. INTERIOR OF AN ANTEROOM IN SALADIN'S PALACE (Ian and Sir William des Preaux are together. Ian is very agitated.) IAN: Kidnapped?? DES PREAUX: Yes, Sir Ian. I fear so. Your rescue has come too late. IAN: Well, who's taken her?? DES PREAUX: This Genoese merchant! He explained it away by saying that Barbara had conceived a passion for El Akir. Saladin and his brother accept the story, but I do not! IAN: Well of course not! It's a lie. DES PREAUX: They could be as friendly as a hawk and a sparrow. IAN: Where can I find El Akir? DES PREAUX: He has returned to Lydda since falling out with Saladin. IAN: Is Lydda very far away? DES PREAUX: No, but it's El Akir's territory, where he has his men. IAN: I'm going after her. DES PREAUX: El Akir has an evil reputation. 'Tis my belief he captured your companion as revenge, and in his eyes she would make a fine addition to his harem. [SCENE_BREAK] 15. A NARROW PASSAGEWAY OUTDOORS (Here there are many archways. Barbara runs up a passageway and hides in the shadow of one. Without warning a hand appears from behind her and covers her mouth.)

Plan: A: Missing episode; Q: What is the episode called that takes place in 12th century Palestine? A: The TARDIS; Q: What episode of Doctor Who arrives in 12th century Palestine? A: a holy war; Q: What is going on in Palestine? A: the Saracenruler Saladin; Q: Who is King Richard the Lionheart fighting? A: a Saracen ambush; Q: How was Barbara abducted? A: Ianand Vicki; Q: Who is with the Doctor when he rescues Barbara? A: King Richard's palace; Q: Where do the Doctor, Ian and Vicki go after Barbara is abducted? A: Jaffa; Q: Where is King Richard's palace located? Summary: Missing episode The TARDIS arrives in 12th century Palestine where a holy war is in progress between the forces of King Richard the Lionheart and the Saracenruler Saladin. Barbara is abducted in a Saracen ambush and the Doctor, Ianand Vicki make their way to King Richard's palace in the city of Jaffa.

[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is at the sink and Chandler is looking at a ring brochure.] Chandler: Pheebs, can you help me pick out an engagement ring for Monica? I can't figure this out! It's so hard! Should I get her a (turning to each page) Tiffany cut or a Princess cut or a-ah-ah! Paper cut! Phoebe: Now, have you told anyone else? Chandler: No, I don't want to tell anybody else because I don't want Monica to find out. Phoebe: You told me. Chandler: Well, it's because I trust you, you're one of my best friends, and you walked in on me when I was looking at ring brochures. Phoebe: Yeah well, once again not knocking pays off. I only wish you hadn't been on the toilet. Chandler: Me too. (Joey and Ross enter causing Chandler to quickly hide the brochure behind his back.) Joey: Hey. (Heads straight for the fridge.) Chandler: Hey. Phoebe: Hey! So Chandler, wanna go to the coffeehouse? Chandler: Oh all right. Phoebe: Yeah, coffeehouse. Ross: Oh perfect, we were just gonna see if you wanted to go. Chandler: Oh well, we don't because we got...the...other pl-place. (Joey returns with a piece of pizza as Chandler and Phoebe exit.) Ross: How rude. Joey: Oh, I'm sorry. You wanna bite? (Holds his piece out for him.) Opening Credits [Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch.] Phoebe: So how are things going with Paul? Rachel: Good. Although y'know, he-he's a private guy. Y'know, I wish I could get him to open up a little bit, share some feelings. Phoebe: That's easy! You just have to think of him as a-as a jar of pickles that won't open. Rachel: So what are you saying; I should run him under hot water and bang his head against a table? Phoebe: No that's what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone. Paul: (entering) Hi honey. Rachel: Hi! Phoebe: (To Rachel) Watch this. Paul: (To Rachel) How are you? Rachel: (To Phoebe) Okay. Phoebe: Hi Paul! Paul: Hi Phoebe. Phoebe: So how are things going with you? Paul: Can't complain. (Phoebe turns to Rachel and mimes remove a lid of a jar. Ross enters and Paul motions for Rachel to leave with him now.) Paul: (whispering) Come on. Rachel: Okay. (Gets up and starts to leave with Paul.) Paul: (To Ross) Hey! Ross: Hi! (They shake hands and their lines overlap.) Paul: Ross! Ross: Great to see you! Paul: Good to see you too! Ross: How you doing? Paul: Good. Bye! (Starts to leave.) Ross: Okay! You take care! (Ross turns his back on Paul and makes a 'I hate that guy' face. Paul does the same thing.) Ross: Hey Pheebs, what-what was the deal with you and Chandler blowing us off before? Phoebe: Yeah! That was so weird, huh? Ross: Phoebe, why'd you do it? Phoebe: I didn't do it! It was Chandler! He's... He's mad at you! Ross: What?! Why?! Phoebe: Please, I think you know why. Ross: I can't think of anything. Phoebe: Come on Ross, you're a paleontologist, dig a little deeper. Ross: Wait a minute, is it because Joey and I didn't invite him to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago? Phoebe: Do you think that's something that he'd be mad at you for? Ross: I guess it could. Phoebe: Well then I think that's it. Ross: Well, if he's angry, he really shouldn't just cover it up. I-I wish he would just tell me the truth. Phoebe: Oh, if that's what you want you then you really should run his head under hot water and bang his head against a table. [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul and Rachel are getting ready to go out. Paul is entering from the bathroom.] Paul: Honey I made a reservation at China Garden, is that okay? Rachel: Yeah that's great. But first, wait, talk to me, talk to me. Tell me about your day. Paul: It was fine. Rachel: Okay. Hey, what are you thinking? What are you thinking right now? Paul: I'm thinking that you are looking really fine it that dress. Rachel: Yeah that's great Paul, but y'know I wanna know what-(Puts her hands on his shoulders)-Wow, those are really great! I just wanna know what, what is behind this-this strong, silent exterior. Y'know they say that still waters run deep and I wanna swim in yours. Paul: Are you talking about having s*x? Rachel: No Paul, I don't know anything about you! Y'know, like-like your childhood! Tell me about your childhood! Paul: Normal. Rachel: Okay, well then how about puberty! Come on, that's always a painful time! Y'know your friends invite you to a slumber party and then they stick your hand in warm water while you're sleeping so that you pee in your sleeping bag. Paul: Nope! That never happened to me! Rachel: Well, you're lucky you never met that bitch Sharon Majesky. Anyway, umm... The rest of you life, y'know? Any regrets? Paul: Nope. Rachel: All right Paul, I'm not asking for a lot here. Okay? Just give me something. Anything! Paul: Okay. Rachel: Okay. Paul: Okay. Rachel: All right. Paul: When I was six years old. Rachel: Hm-mmm. Paul: I wanted a big wheel. And instead my parents got me this little plastic chicken that you hop around on. It was embarrassing; kids made fun of me. That was a pretty tough year. Rachel: That's-that's great! See? I already feel like I know you a little better! Thank you. Okay, come on. Now we can go eat. Let's go. (Gets up to leave, but Paul doesn't move.) Paul: It was horrible. They called me chicken boy. Rachel: Oh! [Time Lapse, Paul is now weeping uncontrollably in Rachel's arms.] Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasn't really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it. Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, I-I-I see the scare. Listen, Paul, I think this is really great that-that y'know, you shared your feelings. It's really, it's beautiful, but umm, what do you say we go share some food? Paul: Oh, I couldn't eat now. Rachel: What?! Wait! What are you talking about?! You love their Kung Pao Chicken! Paul: Chicken? (Pointing to himself.) Chicken boy! Rachel: My God, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do that! I wouldn't do that! (Paul screams like a chicken and breaks down into tears again.) [Scene: A Jewelry Shop, Chandler and Phoebe are looking at engagement rings.] Chandler: Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store we've been too and I can't find the perfect ring! (Goes over to another display counter and starts pointing at rings.) Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! (Notices that one of the jewelers is watching him.) It's a beautiful selection. (The jeweler walks away slowly.) Phoebe: Okay, so maybe you don't get her a ring. Maybe you-maybe you do something different. Y'know? Maybe you get her an engagement bracelet, y'know? Or an engagement tiara? Or-ooh! An engagement Revolutionary War musket! (Picks one up from the display in the corner. Chandler: Y'know, I'm so glad I picked you to help me with this. Phoebe: Huh? Can you just imagine getting down on one knee and handing her this gorgeous piece of weaponry? Chandler: Yeah, I'm gonna stick with the ring. (Goes to another display counter.) Oh, this one's nice! (Pointing to another ring.) I like this one! Sir? Uh, kind sir? Can I see this one? Phoebe: (coming over after returning the musket) Wait a minute, no, this is, this is the reason you brought me. Okay? I know how to haggle. So let me handle this from here on out. Male Jeweler: Can I help you? Chandler: Uh-uh, yes. I would like to see that ring please. Phoebe: Or not, whatever. Male Jeweler: This ring is from the 1920s, it's a one and a half carat diamond with sapphires on either side. Chandler: Sir, can I ask you to umm, could you...hold out that ring and ask me to marry you? Male Jeweler: Okay. (Holds out the ring, deadpan.) Will you marry me? Chandler: (choking up) Oh my God that's it, that's the ring! How much is it? Phoebe: Chandler, I-I will handle this! (To the jeweler) How much is it? Male Jeweler: 8,600. Phoebe: We will give you $10. Male Jeweler: (angrily) Are you interested in this ring?! Chandler: Yes! Yes, but I can only pay $8,000. Male Jeweler: Okay, I can let it go at eight. Phoebe: We stand firm at $10. Male Jeweler: (ignoring her) How would you like to pay? Chandler: Uh, credit card. (Reaches for it then realizes) Oh no! No-no, but I left my credit card with Joey. (To Phoebe) Okay, I'll go get it. You guard the ring. Phoebe: Okay. (To the jeweler) Listen, I'm sorry about before. Do you have anything her for $10. Male Jeweler: Uh yes, I have these two rather beautiful $5 bills. (Holds them up from his pocket.) Phoebe: I'll give you $1 for them. [Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Joey are there.] Ross: Hey, remember how Chandler and Phoebe blew us off yesterday? Joey: No. Ross: Remember? You-you were eating pizza. Joey: Yeah. Ross: Okay. Well, apparently Chandler's angry at us for not getting him a ticket to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago. Joey: Oh, we're supposed to just get him a ticket?! That guy is always mooching off of us! Ross: Yeah! Anyway, I-I still think we should try to patch things up, y'know? Like uh, maybe we could get him to get tickets to another Knicks game and invite him. Joey: Oh wow that's a great idea! And I still have his credit card. Gunther: (handing them the bill) Here you go. Ross: Oh. (Starts to get his money) Joey: Hey-hey-hey-ho-ho, I got this one. Here you go. (Hands Gunther Chandler's card.) Y'know I gotta tell ya, sometimes I just-I don't get Chandler. Y'know, me and him do stuff all the time without you and you don't get all upset. Ross: All the time? Joey: All the time! [Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is there as Rachel enters.] Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God!! Monica: Still crying? Rachel: Like a little girl. I know. I know. I know. This is all my fault; I wanted him to open up. But God, I didn't know that I was gonna unleash this-this weepy, clingy, moist monster! Monica: Y'know, I only know of two surefire ways to shut a man up. And one of them is s*x. Rachel: What's the other one? Monica: I don't know, I've never had to use the other one. I'm just saying y'know, if we're having s*x, he's not gonna be talking. Rachel: Oh that's right. You're the talker. (They both reflect on that briefly) Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues. Monica: Oh, we have some... Rachel: No you don't! [Scene: The Jewelry Store, Phoebe is busy trying on virtually everything in the store. She's got earrings, rings, bracelets, and enough necklaces to put Mr. T to shame on.] Phoebe: Okay umm, I'd also like to try on the tiara. (The male jeweler hands it to her.) Oh yeah. Okay. (Puts it on.) (To the jeweler) What do you think, too much? Male Jeweler: A tad. Phoebe: Okay. Then, take the tiara back and let me hold the musket again. (He hands it to her and Phoebe poses in front of one of those small mirrors.) Something's missing. It's not... Okay oh, let me see the ring my friend picked out. Male Jeweler: (to the female jeweler) Where's the 1920s princess cut ring. Female Jeweler: I just sold it to that gentleman. (Points to the one walking out the store.) Phoebe: Oh my God!! (She runs after him, but sets of the security system, which locks the store's door and brings down a set of bars behind her, caging her in.) No! What?! Help me! Let me out! Now! (Points the musket at them.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul is still crying as Chandler enters.] Paul: Rachel? Chandler: No. How are ya Paul? (Starts to look for his credit card.) Paul: (acting manly to try and cover up his crying) Okay. Chandler, did your dad ever hug you? Chandler: No, did he hug you?! Paul: No! No! It's just that, my dad never did. I miss my dad. Chandler: Well, you can see my dad in Vegas kissing other dads. Paul: Hey Chandler? Chandler: Yeah? Paul: Would you.......Would you hug me? Chandler: I'm a little busy here Paul. Paul: That's exactly what my dad used to say! (Starts to breakdown again.) Chandler: Okay, a quick one. Come on hug it out. (Paul rushes over and hugs Chandler tightly.) Oh hey! There you go. (The hug continues.) Okay. (The hug continues.) Paul: Five more seconds. Chandler: Okay! (Pushes him away.) Joey: (entering) Hey! Paul: Joey! (Goes over and hugs Joey and picks him off of his feet.) Joey: Whoa-whoa-hey-hey! (Motions to Chandler, "What's going on?") Hi, Paul is it? (Paul nods yes and still hugging Joey.) Chandler: Do you have my credit card? Joey: Yes, it's in my... In...in my pocket. (Paul hasn't dropped him yet.) (Chandler starts to reach for his front pocket.) My back pocket! My back pocket! Chandler: Thank God! (Grabs his card.) Joey: Oh hey listen I got us tickets to a Knicks game tonight. Chandler: Oh, I can't go. Joey: Come on! It'll be fun! Me, you, and Ross, and... Paul probably... [Scene: The Jewelry Store, Chandler is entering with his credit card and Phoebe is holding out another ring for him.] Phoebe: Chandler, I found the perfect ring. (Holding it out for her.) Chandler: Oh, that's uh, that's pretty nice but I'm gonna go with the one I picked first. Phoebe: Oh my God Chandler, the one you picked is gone. It's over! Chandler: What? Phoebe: Some guy bought it. I'm sorry. I tired to stop it but they (points to the jeweler) put me in jail! Chandler: They put you in jail? Phoebe: The little jail between the doors! Chandler: Phoebe, I asked you to guard the ring! Phoebe: I know, I'm sorry! But y'know, this ring is better! Monica never even saw the other ring. Chandler: Yeah but when he proposed to me with the ring I got goose bumps. Phoebe: Maybe it was the guy. Chandler: It was the ring! [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Central Perk, Ross is on the couch and Joey is entering.] Ross: Hey! So uh, was he excited about the tickets? Joey: No! He blew us off! Ross: What?! Joey: I know! Ross: I can't believe it. (Pause) Can I tell you something? I'm a little mad at him now. Joey: Can I tell you something? Me too. Ross: Y'know what? He didn't want to talk to us about being angry, well maybe we don't talk to him at all! Joey: Ooooh! Freeze him out. Ross: That's right! Joey: I like it! Ross: Eh? We'll show him! Joey: From now on, it's gonna be Joey and Ross, best friends. (They shake hands.) Okay! We're gonna be the new Joey and Chandler. [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul is writing something as Rachel enters.] Rachel: Hi. I'm back. Paul: Hey! I have so much more to tell ya, I've written it all down! Rachel: Ah that's great. No actually that's... (In a sexy voice) That's great! That's really great! Y'know, I gotta tell ya writing, I mean writing, gets me uh, gets me kinda hot. Paul: Wait! Wait! Listen! Listen to this! (Flips a couple pages and points to something.) Y'know what I wanted to be when I was that age? Rachel: A lover? Paul: A surfer. Rachel: Oh yeah surfer? Paul: I wanted to be one with the waves, y'know? Rachel: Okay, hold on real quick, hold on a second let me just uh, (sits on the counter and buttons her sweater to show some cleavage) get a little more comfortable here. Wait, now wait a second, this isn't too revealing is it? Paul: (barely glancing at her) No. What ever happened to that little dude. (Pause) So full of dreams... Rachel: I don't care about the little dude! I can't! I cannot listen to anymore of this! Y'know, the only person who would want to listen to this is a mental health professional! And then it's only because they get paid $100 an hour! Do you know how much money I could've made listening to you? $2,000! And do you know when I figured that out? While you were talking! Paul: What?! I can't believe you're trying to stifle me! When just 14 hours ago we figured out that that is exactly what my mother was trying to do to me! Rachel: Oh... I'm sorry. I... I-I don't mean-I didn't mean to stifle you. I... This is all just a little overwhelming. Paul: Oh Rachel, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to overwhelm you. It's just that, when those gates open, you... (Starts to breakdown.) Hard to close 'em. But they are closed now. Believe me. Rachel: I'm so glad, I'm so glad you shared. (Feeling his shoulder.) And I'm glad that you're done. What do you say we umm... (Nods in the direction of the bedroom.) Paul: I would really like that. (They kiss.) [Scene: Rachel's Bedroom, Paul and Rachel are recovering.] Paul: That was...so good. (Starts crying again.) [Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the ring he bought and not liking it.] Phoebe: (entering from her room) Hey. Chandler: I can't believe I let you talk me into buying this stupid gumball machine looking ring! Phoebe: It's not a stupid gumball machine looking ring! It's a beautiful ring! Chandler: No, it's not! When I looked at the other ring I could see Monica's face when I gave it to her, y'know? And I could see her saying yes. When I look at this ring, all I see is a ring! Unless I look at it really closely and then I can see my own eye. (Does so and laughs.) Look, this is the most important thing I'm gonna do in my life. I wanna make sure it's perfect. Phoebe: Okay. There may be a way that we can get the other ring back. 'Cause I heard the guy tell the jeweler where he was going to propose. So maybe we can get him to trade rings or something. Chandler: I can't do that. Phoebe: Well you certainly can't give her that stupid gumball ring. [Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler and Phoebe are entering. This is the place where the guy who bought Chandler's ring is going to propose.] Phoebe: There he is! (Points.) Chandler: Okay and he hasn't proposed yet because she has no ring on her finger. Phoebe: Wow! You're good! After this, we should solve crimes. Chandler: Yeah! Okay, go, go, go get him. Phoebe: Oh, okay. (Walks over to him.) Excuse me sir? Could you come with me please? You have a phone call. Customer: Who is it? Phoebe: It is your office. Customer: Do you know who at my office? Phoebe: John? Customer: Oh John! Great! (She brings him over to Chandler.) Phoebe: (To Chandler) Here he is. Chandler: (to him) Hi! Hi. Okay, there was a slight mix-up at the jewelry store, the ring you're about to propose with was supposed to be held for me. So, I'm gonna need to have that back. (The guy isn't sure.) But, in exchange I'm willing to trade you this beautiful, more expensive ring. (Looking at the ring.) Ew. Phoebe: Wow! I would trade. Customer: It is beautiful, but I'm gonna use this one. Now, if you'll excuse me. Chandler: No-no! This is my fiancee (Phoebe) and her heart was set on that ring. You don't want to break her heart now do you? Phoebe: Yeah, do you want to break a dying woman's heart? Customer: You're dying?! (Phoebe coughs.) Chandler: Yeah, she's dying... Of a cough apparently. Phoebe: Yes, and it is my dying wish to have that ring. See, if I'm not buried with that ring then my spirit is going to wander the nether world for all eternity... Chandler: (interrupting her) Okay, that's enough honey! Customer: I don't know. (Pause) Let me see the ring. Chandler: Great! Okay, here. (Holds the ring up for him.) Customer: (looks at it) All right. (Exchanges rings.) Chandler: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! (To his girlfriend) And you are about to marry a wonderful man! (She stunned and he's horrified.) Hey! I'm marrying a dead woman! [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are watching TV as Chandler enters.] Chandler: Guys? (They ignore him.) I've got something important to tell ya. (Still nothing so he walks over and stands in front of the TV.) Guys? (They lean over to try and watch the TV, Chandler mimics them.) Guys?! (Pause) I'm gonna ask Monica to marry me. Joey: (To Ross) I think we gotta end the freeze out. Ross: Wait a minute, is this, is this for real? Chandler: Yeah, check out the ring. (Shows it to them.) Joey: Oh my God!! Ross: So you two are really serious?! Chandler: Yep, pretty much. Ross: You-you're gonna get married?! I mean... We're gonna be brothers-in-law! (They hug.) Joey: And-and-and-and-and-and, and we're gonna be friends again! Chandler: (goes to hug him and stops short) Heyyyy-What? Joey: Oh it's water under the bridge, forget it! Chandler: Okay! (They hug.) I was gonna wait 'til uh, it was official y'know? But I got so excited I just had to tell you guys because you're my best friends. Joey: I think I'm gonna cry! Rachel: (who has just entered) Ugh! No more crying! Please! I just dumped one cry baby, I'll dump you too! (Ross and Joey urge Chandler to tell Rachel.) Chandler: I'm gonna ask Monica to marry me. Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh Chandler!! (Hugs him.) You guys are gonna be so happy! Chandler: I know. Joey: (holding an empty tissue box) Where's all the tissues?! (Throws the box down in disgust.) Ending Credits [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, continued from earlier. Chandler is showing Rachel the ring.] Chandler: Check out the ring. Rachel: (gasps) Nice! One and a half carat easy. Phoebe: (entering) Hi. Ross: Hey-hey Pheebs! Phoebe: What? Ross: Chandler's gonna ask Monica to marry him! Phoebe: Oh I know, I helped pick out the ring. (Chandler laughs, turns, and sees that Ross and Joey aren't happy.) Ross: You told her before you told us? Chandler: Well, she walked in when I was looking at the ring brochures. You can understand that, right? (Ross and Joey look at each other and go back to watching the game on TV.) Guys? Guys? (Walks in front of them again.)

Plan: A: Chandler; Q: Who does Joey and Ross snub because they think he prefers spending time with Phoebe? A: an engagement ring; Q: What does Phoebe help Chandler look for? A: the money; Q: What does Chandler not have to buy the ring? A: the store; Q: Where did Chandler leave Phoebe to hold the ring for him? A: Rachel; Q: Who urges Paul to open up emotionally? Summary: Phoebe helps Chandler look for an engagement ring. Chandler finds the perfect one but does not have the money with him to purchase it. He leaves Phoebe at the store to hold the ring for him. He returns and finds that Phoebe became distracted and allowed the ring to be sold. He then tries to track down the person who bought it. Meanwhile, Rachel urges Paul to open up emotionally but once started, is unable to stop. Joey and Ross are upset that it appears Chandler prefers spending time with Phoebe, so they snub him.

SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. It is the day the Dark Curse is cast by the Evil Queen. Grumpy sounds the warning bell atop the royal castle. [SCENE_BREAK] Grumpy: (Shouting) The curse! It's here! [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. Blackened smoke spreads all throughout the land as the Evil Queen rides to an unknown destination in her carriage. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: The Enchanted Forest. Past. In a dungeon, Rumplestiltskin grips the cell bars. [SCENE_BREAK] Rumplestiltskin: (To Evil Queen) I'm waiting! (She materializes outside the cell in a thick dark smoke.) Rumplestiltskin: What took you so long? Evil Queen: (Turns around) You know what took so long. Rumplestiltskin: Oh, yes. The curse. You did it. Evil Queen: That's right. I did it. And I wanted you to know it before you, like all the other pathetic denizens of this wretched land, forgets everything. Rumplestiltskin: How did it feel? Evil Queen: Watching the curse cloud form? Felt like victory. Rumplestiltskin: (Giggles) How did you feel to kill the thing you love most? Ripping the heart out of your father? How did that feel? Evil Queen: It was the price of the curse. How it felt doesn't matter. He would have understood. I took my life back. I had to. I won. Rumplestiltskin: And yet, here you are. Feeling the need to gloat. Something's missing, isn't it, dearie? Evil Queen: Not at all. I have everything I want. Nothing can stop me now. Rumplestiltskin: (Giggles hysterically) Not quite. Evil Queen: What does that mean? Rumplestiltskin: The savior, the child of Snow White and Prince Charming. (The Evil Queen scoffs.) Rumplestiltskin: She can stop you. She can break the curse. Evil Queen: Well, looks like getting rid of a baby made my to-do list. Rumplestiltskin: Of course it did. But even if you succeed with that, you have an even bigger problem. Now there's a hole in your heart and someday you will come to me to fill it. Evil Queen: You underestimate your powers of foresight. (Begins walking away) Rumplestiltskin: And you underestimate the price of what you've done! (In a sing-songy voice) You shall see! You will come to me! There is more you need! Evil Queen: (Angrily) Your taunts will get you nowhere! I know you too well. You want to make another deal. Well, I won't. Rumplestiltskin: (Laughs) A deal? You already promised me a good life in this new land. What more than I want from you? Evil Queen: Oh, to be let out of this cage. To be let out of our last deal. To escape the curse. Rumplestiltskin: But why would I desire that, dearie? I'm exactly where I want to be. (The Evil Queen looks at him in confusion.) [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Neverland. Present. Skull Rock. Emma and Regina are persistently trying to shake Henry awake, but he remains motionless. [SCENE_BREAK] Emma: Oh god, is he unconscious? Regina: Henry, can you hear us? Neal: He passed out as soon as his heart went into Pan. Regina: Is he breathing? Neal: I don't know. (From the air, Pan descends down.) Emma: (To Pan) What the hell did you do to him? Pan: Oh, I didn't do anything, Emma. It was Henry. He offered me his heart of his own free will. Emma: (Unsheathes sword) I'm gonna take it back from you. (As she lunges forward, Pan disappears out of thin air.) Pan: (Grabs Pandora's Box from a rock) I don't think you have it in you. (Emma turns around in surprise.) Rumplestiltskin didn't. (Tosses the box around in his hands) Why should you? Emma: Where is he? Neal: What did you do? Pan: Oh, he's right in this box. Safe and sound. And out of the way. Unfortunately for you, he can't hurt me anymore. And neither can you. Emma: Really? (She takes a hit at him. Her sword cuts his arm.) How did that feel? Pan: Like a tickle. (Flies into the air and retreats) Emma: (Kneels down next to Henry) (To Regina) How is he? Regina: (Rubbing Henry's chest) You're going to be all right, Henry. We're gonna get you home. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Past. Eleven years ago. In her home, Regina is scribbling on paper. Archie stands before her desk. [SCENE_BREAK] Archie: You, uh, wanted to see me? Regina: Yes, I did. Archie: Well, if this is about Pongo's dog license, I believe it's still up to date. Regina: This has nothing to do with your dog. (Drops pen on table) Archie: Madam mayor, are you all right? Regina: I'm okay. Archie: Excuse me for saying so, but you don't seem okay. Regina: I don't tolerate that sort of bluntness. I'm the Que- (Pauses) -the mayor. Archie: I am a therapist. (Smiles) That's why you asked me here, isn't it? What is bothering you? What are you feeling? Regina: Nothing. I'm feeling nothing. Archie: If I were to guess, I would say you're a driven woman and sometimes that can leave a hole. Regina: A what? Archie: A hole. An emptiness. There's more to life than work. Maybe that's why you feel dissatisfied. Regina: (Defensively) I am not dissatisfied. I love my life. Archie: What's the point if you've got no one to share it with? Regina: There's that bluntness again. Archie: Has there ever been a time in your life when you haven't felt this way? Regina: When that little boy visited. (Smiles) Owen. Archie: A child. That can bring so much meaning. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Past. Eleven years ago. Regina enters into Mr. Gold's pawnshop. [SCENE_BREAK] Regina: I need a child, Gold, and I need your help. Mr. Gold: Well, I'm flattered, but uninterested. Regina: Not like that. I spent all morning talking to adoption agencies. The wait lists are over two years long. But you, Gold, you know how to cut through red tape. And if anyone can work the system and find me a baby, it's you. Mr. Gold: You wish to adopt? Regina: Well, don't look so surprised. Mr. Gold: Oh, I'm not. I'm sure you'll make a... well, a mother of some sort. Regina: Can you help me? Mr. Gold: Of course I can. But a word of caution. Ask yourself if this is something you're ready for. Regina: It's something I need. Mr. Gold: Well, that may not be the same thing. I'll get you a child. (Regina walks towards the door to leave.) But whether or not that's helping you remains to be seen. When you become a parent, you must put your child first. No matter what. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Neverland. Present. Skull Rock. Regina is casting a preservation spell on Henry's body. [SCENE_BREAK] Regina: This preservation spell can keep him in this condition for a while longer. Buy us time to get to Pan. Emma: (To Neal) You were a Lost Boy. Any idea where he went? Neal: Well, I, I know where he lived. Where his compound... Regina: That's idiotic. We all know that. Think he's stupid enough to go back? Please. Emma: Enough. Regina: Don't tell me what's enough. My son is dying! Emma: Our son. So, yes, I know how you feel. Regina: You have no idea what I feel. You have your parents. You have this- (Gestures at Neal) -person; a pirate who pines for you. You have everything and yet you claim to know what I feel? (Voice breaking) All I have is Henry and I'm not about to lose him because he is everything. Emma: (Kneels down) You're right. I don't know what you feel. So what do you want to do? You want to run the show? Run it. How do we save Henry? Regina: (Quietly) I don't know. Neal: Even if we can find Pan, he was probably powerful before without Henry's heart. I-I don't know if we can hurt him. Regina: (Looking at Emma's sword) Yes, we can. Look. (Points to the blood on the weapon) You nicked him. He can bleed. We can hurt him. And if we can hurt him, we can kill him. And we will. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Neverland. Present. Pan's Lost Boy camp. Henry's body is lying on a bed cot. [SCENE_BREAK] Mary Margaret: (In dismay) Gold is in a box. And David can never leave the island. David: Mary Margaret, that doesn't matter. I've already made peace with that. What matters is Henry. (To Regina) How much time do we have left? Regina: Maybe an hour before the preservation spell wears off. Neal: If he's airborne, he can be anywhere on the island. Hook: Now is just as much time I suggest we get started looking. Regina: (Ignores Hook's suggestion and stomps over to Felix) Where is he?! Felix: Gone. There's nothing you can do. He's already won. Pan never fails. Regina: You won't talk? How about I make you talk? (Moves to rip out his heart, but is stopped by Emma) Emma: Regina, wait. Regina: There's no time! Emma: I don't think torture is our best move here. Look at these kids. They've been to hell and back. We need to try something else. Regina: Yeah, we tried the [inaudible]. They don't respond to reason. What else do you have to offer? Emma: (Looking at Mary Margaret) What every kid wants. A mother. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Past. Eleven years ago. Regina enters into the pawnshop. [SCENE_BREAK] Regina: (To Mr. Gold) You have news? Mr. Gold: Yes. Fate may be on your side. This morning, I, uh, spoke with an agency that had placed a baby boy from Phoenix with a family nearby in Boston. Regina: With a family? How's that fate? Mr. Gold: Because at the last minute, the adoption fell through. It happens. Regina: (Smiles) So the baby still needs a home. Mr. Gold: Indeed. As they say, fate appears to be on your side. (Pulls out a folder from the table) The agency is in Boston. (Regina takes the folder.) [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Boston. Past. Eleven years ago. Regina is being interviewed at the adoption agency as a candidate for the baby boy. [SCENE_BREAK] Adoption Agent: Well, Ms. Mills, your application is almost too good to be true. I mean, your references are impeccable and this town you live in-Storybrooke-you're the mayor? Regina: (Nods) Third term. All unopposed. Adoption Agent: (Takes off glasses) I've never heard of Storybrooke. Regina: Oh, it's a hidden gem. Peaceful. Perfect for children. It's like a fairy tale. You should come visit sometime. Adoption Agent: I get two weeks off a year, and all due with respect, Sandals has an inclusive buffet. You got that in Storybrooke? Regina: I'm afraid not. Adoption Agent: Anyway, I've explained your rights and responsibilities, but there's one item I'd like to go over in detail. This is a closed adoption, which means you'll never be able to contact your child's birth parents. It's complete information blackout. Parents' names, ethnicity, genealogical records. You won't have access to any of it. Regina: I'm concerned with my child's future, not his past. Adoption: Well, then, congratulations. You ready to meet your son? Regina: Yes! (The adoption agent hits a call button on his phone. Regina looks out the door to see a woman carrying in an infant boy. The woman sets him in Regina's arms.) Regina: (To baby) Well, hello there. It was fate wasn't it? Henry. Adoption Agent: Henry, huh? You don't meet a lot of Henrys nowadays. Very old world. Regina: It was my father's name. He passed some time ago. Adoption Agent: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it was peaceful at least. (Henry begins crying. Regina unsteadily rebalances him in her arms.) Adoption Agent: You need some help? Regina: Oh, no, no. I've got it. (To Henry) Come on, Henry. Let's go home. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Neverland. Present. Pan's Lost Boy camp. Neal is watching over Henry's body while Emma starts a discussion with the Lost Boys. [SCENE_BREAK] Emma: (To Lost Boys) Guys, listen to me. We are not going to hurt you. I know you're loyal to Pan and I get that, but you are making a terrible mistake. For a long time, I thought I was never gonna find my family. I was an orphan like all of you. A lost girl. And I was reminded today that I am not alone. (Looking to her parents) That I have a lot of people who love me. (David and Mary Margaret smile at each other.) And I never thought that was gonna happen. If that can happen to me, it can happen to you. Felix: Pan is the only family we need. Emma: No, family doesn't do what he did. Pan lied to you and made you do terrible things. He lied to Henry and convinced him to give up his own heart! Lost Boy #1: To save the island. Emma: No, to save himself. Felix: (To Lost Boys) Don't listen to her. Pan cares about all of us. Emma: No, he doesn't. We care about you. And we can save you. We can take you home with us. To our land. There's no reason to fear Pan anymore. Until he absorbs the power from Henry's heart, he can be stopped. Mary Margaret: You just have to tell us where he is. Felix: (Standing up) Leave now while Pan still allows you to breathe. (Hook forces him back down with his hook hand.) That's the only hope you'll get. Emma: (To Felix) Where is Pan? Felix: Not. Telling. Lost Boy #1: (To Emma) Can you really bring us home? Felix: Shut your mouth! Emma: (Kneeling in front of Lost Boy) Yes, with your help. Lost Boy #1: His thinking tree. Felix: (Horrified) NOOO! Lost Boy #2: Yes, his thinking tree. Felix: STOP IT ALL OF YOU! Emma: (To Lost Boy) What is that? Lost Boy #1: That's where he goes when he wants to be alone. Lost Boy #2: You can find him there. It's not far. Felix: No, don't trust her! Emma: (To Lost Boy) Can you tell us where that is? Lost Boy #1: But you have to swear... swear that you'll take us with you. Emma: I promise. (Tearfully) We are going home. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Past. Eleven years ago. Regina is sitting at a table booth having lunch while Henry cries noisily in his baby carrier. She attempts to soothe him while Granny looks on. [SCENE_BREAK] Granny: Who is this bundle of joy? Regina: Do you have a problem with him crying? Granny: No, of course not. Regina: (Trying to calm down her son) Shhh. Okay, it's time to be quiet now. It's time to be quiet. (She turns back to her plate of food, and sees Granny is still standing over her.) What?! Granny: Do you want some advice? Try a story. That's how they soothe themselves. A bedtime story. Gets him used to your voice. Worked with Ruby. Her issues started later. (She walks off.) (Henry continues crying loudly.) Regina: (Rocking his baby carrier) Hey. Okay, okay. It's okay. (She takes him into her arms and cradles him against her shoulder.) Once upon a time there was- (Henry vomits on her.) Ugh. Oh. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Past. Eleven years ago. At the hospital, Henry's heartbeat is examined by Dr. Whale with a stethoscope. Henry's insistent wailing persists. [SCENE_BREAK] Dr. Whale: Well, his heart is as strong as a locomotive. (Pulls off stethoscope ear pieces) And his lungs are healthy, clearly. Regina: Well, what about a blood test? Or a chest x-ray? Dr. Whale: Is he a smoker? Regina: What? Dr. Whale: Look, it's obvious what the problem is. He's a crying baby. Regina: I paid for this. Dr. Whale: Your insurance did. Regina: What do I do? Dr. Whale: I could prescribe you something. (Pulls aside curtain) Ten cc of maternal love. (Nods at Regina and walks away) Regina: Dr. Whale. No one loves their child more than me. Which means there is something is wrong with my son. Your job is to help him. Do it. Dr. Whale: Sure, I can order additional testing, but with babies, there are risks. And it's generally not worth it. Regina: Generally? Dr. Whale: Well, in some cases, there could be something abnormal happening. But we'd need the birth mother to find out. Regina: (Crosses her arms) You mean the woman who abandoned him? You think she can soothe him? I'm his mother. Dr. Whale: You misunderstand me, Regina. If something were in fact wrong with the baby, maybe there's something in her medical records, something genetic that could be causing the problem. Look, the only people we can help us fill the blanks are the biological parents. Regina: But it was a closed adoption. There's no way to contact them. (The scene shifts to Regina walking through the children's hospital ward. She cradles Henry with one arm while using the other to converse with Sidney on the phone.) Regina: Sidney, grab a pencil. There's an adoption agency in Boston on Dartmin Street. (She passes by Mary Margaret.) Sidney: (On phone) Say again. There's noise on the line. Regina: (Turns to Mary Margaret) Ms. Blanchard. Mary Margaret: (Sees Henry) Who's this? Regina: Meet Henry. (Hands him over to her) Mary Margaret: Oh. Regina: Make yourself useful. (Returns to phone conversation) Boston Angels Adoption on Dartmin Street. (Henry's cries subside in the background.) Regina: I need the name of Henry's biological mother. Sidney: Isn't that against the law? Regina: Well, that's why I called you, Sidney. Because I know for me you'll do whatever it takes. I need this done. There's something wrong with my son. He won't stop cr- (Turns, and is shocked to hear Henry is quiet) -crying. (Mary Margaret happily smiles and holds a content Henry.) Regina: (Into phone) J-just do it. (Hangs up and approaches Mary Margaret) How did you do that? Mary Margaret: (Startled) Do what? Regina: Make him stop crying. Mary Margaret: Well, I'm just holding him. (Smiles) He's so sweet. (Regina moves to take him back. Henry chokes out a cry, which turns into a wail when she tries to bounce him in her arms.) Regina: (In dismay) No. No, no, no. Mary Margaret: I'm so sorry. I didn't... did I do something wrong? Regina: No. No, you didn't. It's me. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Neverland. Present. Pan's Lost Boy camp. Wendy places a rag on Henry's forehead. Neal briefly looks before he goes to regroup with the rest of his party members as a conversation is ongoing. [SCENE_BREAK] Regina: (To Lost Boys) The Pixie Woods? That's where he is? Lost Boy #1: It's just north of here. It's where the pixie dust used to grow. Emma: (Standing up) (To Hook) You know where that is? Hook: Aye. The whole region is deserted now. No one but Pan has set foot in those woods in centuries. Neal: Then let's make history. Emma: (To Neal) We're gonna need you here. Once we get Henry's heart, it's a race back. We need help on both ends. Neal: Okay. David: What do you need from us? Neal: Let's gather up the Lost Boys and get them aboard the Jolly Roger. (The Lost Boys grin excitedly at each other.) Prepare the ship to fly. Hook: Let's hope you have a Pegasus sail. Or we're at the mercy of the [inaudible] wings. Neal: (Holding up coconut) Pan's shadow is in here. [Inaudible]. If your ship holds together. Hook: As long as your plan holds together, she will. Neal: (To Emma) Henry's gonna be with me the entire time. Nothing is gonna happen while you two are away. Mary Margaret: (Speaking off-screen) You mean three. (Emma and Neal turn to look at her.) I may be trapped on this island for the rest of eternity, so if you think I'm not going to be spending my last moments with my daughter, you're crazy. Emma: Okay. Let's do it. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Past. Eleven years ago. In her house, Regina is trying to get some work done on the kitchen counter, but finds herself losing focus due to Henry's continuous cries. [SCENE_BREAK] Regina: (Getting up) Henry. Henry, I promise if you just tell me what you want, I'll do anything for you. Anything. (Picks him up from the baby carrier and bounces him) (Voice breaking) Please, give me a chance. (He coos quietly as she places a kiss on his forehead. Henry becomes silent. Regina sighs in relief.) Thank you. (Her cell phone rings.) Regina: (Picking up) Sidney. What'd you find? Sidney: The agency was a dead end, but I worked my magic with the health department. Found out all about his mother. I'm faxing over the information right now. (The fax machine in the kitchen prints out paper.) Sidney: You should have it any second now. Regina: It's here. (Hangs up and reads the printed paper) (In stun) No. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Past. Eleven years ago. Regina storms in to the pawnshop with Henry in his baby carrier. [SCENE_BREAK] Regina: (To Mr. Gold) You knew. Mr. Gold: Knew what, exactly? (She places Henry's baby carrier on the floor.) Regina: The child that you located for me in Phoenix... his mother was found in the woods outside of Storybrooke eighteen years ago. Mr. Gold: What a starling coincidence. Regina: Eighteen years ago?! Mr. Gold: I fear I'm missing the significance. You have to forgive me; my memory is not what it used to be. Regina: Henry's mother was found as a baby on a very significant day. The day this town... this town... Mr. Gold: This town what? Regina: She's important, isn't she? This mother. Mr. Gold: Is she important? I suppose that as much as she gave birth to your son. Regina: You... you built this into this whole thing, didn't you? You made this happen because the mother... she's... Mr. Gold: She's what, madam mayor? This mother you seem to fear so much. Regina: Oh, you really know nothing of what I'm talking about. Mr. Gold: Well, I know you're upset, that much is clear. Regina: You told me I'd come to you. That I'd have a hole in my heart. And... (In shock) ... you want this to end. This town. What I built. You want to destroy it all by bringing the mother back! That's why you did all this!! Mr. Gold: Do you know you have dark circles under your eyes? A weary tremble in your voice. Poor thing. Look what motherhood has done to you. Regina: Play dumb all you want, you little imp. You should know who you're dealing with by now. I sacrificed everything to build this life! And nothing will tear me away from my revenge! (Picks up baby carrier and heads towards door) Henry goes back to Boston! Tomorrow! [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Neverland. Present. Emma, Mary Margaret and Regina tread towards the thinking tree in Pixie Woods. [SCENE_BREAK] Regina: (Sees Pandora's Box sitting on a rock) Look. (Emma takes out her sword as they all approach the tree. Mary Margaret sets aside her bag of arrow shafts on the ground and moves to take the box. ) Regina: Careful. (Mary Margaret stops.) Pan wouldn't have just left it behind for no reason. Mary Margaret: It's David's only way home. Without Gold, we're stuck here- (She tries to grab the box, but vines ensnare her from behind.) Emma: Mary Margaret! (Mary Margaret is flung against the tree and tied in place by the vines. Emma and Regina are dealt the same fate. In the process, Emma drops her sword. They struggle against the vines, but it does nothing. Pan walks out from behind the tree.) Pan: You're still at it. Don't you know- (Picks up Emma's sword) -Peter Pan never fails? I didn't expect you to find me. Then again, I shouldn't be surprised. You're mothers. Quite tenacious about your offspring. Believe it or not, I understand that. But if you're looking to see Henry again, I have to tell you there's only one place you'll be reunited-in death. (Angered, Regina glares at him and hassles against the tightly bound vines.) [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Past. Eleven years ago. Boston. Regina walks into the adoption agency office with Henry in tow as well as all his baby necessities in bags. [SCENE_BREAK] Regina: (Setting down baby carrier and the bags on the desk) (Takes out paper) I wrote out instructions for his bedtime, naptime and feeding. (Gives paper to adoption agent) Adoption Agent: Ms. Mills, I can assure you, the baby will be in expert hands here. Regina: I know. I'm just sad this couldn't work out. Circumstances were... unforeseen. Adoption Agent: Not every child is a right fit for the parent. And sometimes putting the child first can mean having the strength to give him up. Regina: (Crosses her arms) Where will Henry go next? Adoption Agent: We already have a new family lined up. He's going to be just fine. (Regina notices Henry smiling at her.) Adoption Agent: I'll tell you what. You take a minute. I'll be right back, okay? (He exits the office.) Regina: (Sniffling) Oh, Henry. You deserve better than me. You truly are the only one in all the realms who believes in me. (She holds his left hand and then picks him up into her arms.) Adoption Agent: (Reentering room) Would you like me to hold him so we can get the last written signature? Regina: No, that won't be necessary. (Smiles) Henry is my son. (Places him back into carrier) (Grabs bags) The best thing for Henry is to stay with a mother who will never let go of him. Ever again. (She leaves with Henry.) (Outside the room, the adoption agent walks up to the pair who were next in line to become Henry's adoptive parents. The window glass obscures view of them.) Adoption Agent: I'm afraid there's been a hiccup. You'll have to go back on the waiting list. The mother changed her mind. I'm sorry. Michael: We lost him? Adoption Agent: Yes, but I can put you back on the list- (The pair turn and walk away before he can finish. It is John and Michael Darling.) Michael: Pan will not be pleased. John: Which is why we don't give up. We will get that child. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Neverland. Present. The thinking tree in Pixie Woods. [SCENE_BREAK] Pan: (To the trio) Having trouble moving? Can't be surprised given where you are. Do you see what is hastening your demise is your regret? Emma: What are you talking about? Pan: (Looking up) This tree is the site of a very important event for me. I abandoned my boy here. Regina: You have a son? Pan: I'm older than I look. Emma: If you have a child, you must regret losing him, too. Pan: But I don't. Quite the opposite, actually. (Takes box) See, I have him all boxed up so I don't lose him again. Regina: Rumplestiltskin is your son? Pan: That he is. Mary Margaret: How's that possible? You're-- Pan: Younger than him? (Smiles) Not really. Just like you and your daughter. Regina: You're a fraud. Your magic is weakened. You can't even hurt us; let alone Rumplestiltskin. Pan: You're right. But that's why I'm here. This tree will protect me till my power's restored. And then, well... then I get to have some real fun. Then I won't ever have to worry about my child again. Something we will all soon have in common. Emma: (Lunges at him, but fails due to the vines) There has to be another way. Pan: You're not going to get to me. See, this tree attacks the regret inside anyone who comes here, and you, you've got plenty. Emma: I regret not taking a better shot at you when I had the chance. Pan: That's not all, is it, savior? No. I have your son's heart inside me. I can feel just how much you let him down time and time again. Mary Margaret: Leave her alone. Pan: Perhaps I should. (To Mary Margaret) After all, what chance did you have of being a good mother? Look at the example you set. Abandoning her for twenty-eight years. Regina: Are you finished? Pan: Last words from the Queen. Perhaps a deathbed confession from the one who has the most regrets of all. Regina: Yeah, there's one problem with that. I did cast a curse that devastated an entire population. I have tortured and murdered. I've done some terrible things. I should be overflowing with regret, but, I'm not. (She pulls herself, as well as her companions, free from the vines.) Because it got me my son. (Rips out Henry's heart from Pan's chest) (Pan collapses on the ground and reaches for the box, but Regina picks it up.) Regina: (Holding both the heart and box) Now, let's go save Henry. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Neverland. Present. The Jolly Roger. An unconscious Felix is placed aboard the deck when Emma, Mary Margaret and Regina arrive onto the ship. [SCENE_BREAK] Emma: (Shouting) Henry? Where is he? Neal: He's over here! (Emma and Regina kneel down over Henry's body.) Regina: Hold on, Henry. (Pushes the heart back into his chest) Emma: Henry? (Everyone looks on anxiously. Henry remains motionless.) Emma: Are we too late? Regina: Henry? Honey! (Henry gasps to life. Relief floods his loved ones' faces. He sits up to hug both his mothers.) Neal: Woah, woah, woah. Take it easy, buddy. Henry: I'm sorry. I wanted to save magic. Emma: It's okay. It's okay. Henry: I-I wanted to be a hero. David: Hey, there's plenty of time for that. Mary Margaret: Right now, it's time to rest. Hook: Welcome back, young sir. Only the best for our guest of honor. Don't you think? Captain's quarters. Regina: Come on, I'll tuck you in. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Past. Eleven years ago. In her house, Regina is showing Henry to Archie. [SCENE_BREAK] Archie: Regina, I'm just so pleased. I'll admit I was concerned. And I'm just so... glad the way things worked out. Regina: There's just one problem, Dr. Hopper. I'm afraid, no, I'm... dreading... that Henry's birth mother will wake up one day full of regret over leaving him and come here and take him back. Archie: Wasn't it a closed adoption? You're both perfectly honest with each other, right? Regina: Yes, but, I'm worried about something bigger than the laws at play. Fate. Destiny. Archie: It seems to me you've made your own destiny. Regina: (Shakes head) But there's still someone out there who can destroy it. Archie: Regina, if you keep worrying about the future, you'll never enjoy the present. This child has brought something to you-love-revel in that. Revel in being a mother. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Storybrooke. Past. Eleven years ago. The vault. Inside, Regina holds Henry while affectionately touching the name plate of her deceased father. It reads: Henry Mills. Beloved Father. [SCENE_BREAK] Regina: Thank you, father. (Places Henry into carrier) (Opens the entrance to the downstairs vault area) (The scene switches to Regina in one of the vault rooms with various potions set on the table. Henry is resting in his carrier.) Regina: (To Henry) Once upon a time, there was a Queen and she cast a glorious curse that gave her everything she wanted. Or so she thought. She despaired when she learned that revenge was not enough. She was lonely. And so she searched the land for a little boy to be her prince. (Laughs) And then, she found him. And though they lived happily, it was not ever after. There was still an evil out there lurking... (Pours substance into cup) The Queen was worried for her prince's safety. While she knew she could vanquish any threat to the boy, she also knew she couldn't raise him worrying. No, she needed to put her own troubles aside and put her child first. (Pours green liquid into cup) And so, the Queen procured an ancient potion of forgetting. (Henry cries.) Oh, it's all right. If the Queen drinks the potion, she won't forget her child. She'll only forget her worries. Her troubles. Her fears. (Adds black substance to cup) And with those gone, she and her prince can indeed finally live happily ever after. (Drinks from cup and sets it down) (As Regina forgets, the cup and the potion ingredients disappear. She comes out the stupor upon hearing Henry's cries.) Regina: Hello, Henry. (Holds him up) What shall we do today? [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Neverland. Present. The Jolly Roger. Henry is resting on a bed in Hook's quarters as Regina keeps him company. [SCENE_BREAK] Regina: Oh, I know that look. Five hours of Space Paranoids and too much pizza. Henry: Pizza's good. (Regina laughs. Then, she places an enchantment on Henry's chest.) Henry: (Wincing) It stings. What's that for? (The glow of the spell fades away.) Regina: A spell. So no one can ever take your heart ever again. Henry: (Grabs her hand) Thanks, mom. Regina: (Smiles and kisses him on the temple) We'll be home soon, my little prince. (She leaves the room.) (Henry sits up to adjust his blanket and lies back down. When he does, Pan has appeared beside the bed. Henry notices too late as Pan takes out a blade at him.) Pan: I'm sorry it had to come to this, Henry. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Neverland. Present. The Jolly Roger. On deck, Neal releases Mr. Gold from the box as David, Emma and Mary Margaret watch. He is greeted by a smiling Neal. [SCENE_BREAK] Mr. Gold: Bae. (Hugs Neal) Neal: Papa. Mr. Gold: Where's Henry? Neal: He's safe. He's safe. Mr. Gold: I told you I wasn't gonna hurt the boy. Neal: I know, I'm sorry. Why didn't you tell me Pan was your father? Mr. Gold: Because I didn't want you to know I was as bad a father as he was. Because we're both the same; me and him. Because we both abandoned our sons. Neal: No, you're not the same. You came back for me, Papa. (They hug again.) Emma: (Turns to her parents) He's back. That means... David: He can cure me. Mary Margaret: We can go home. (Hugs Emma) A family. (David hugs them.) (Suddenly, Mr. Gold senses something terribly wrong.) Neal: What's wrong? [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Neverland. Present. The Jolly Roger. Below deck, Henry is being apprehended by Pan. [SCENE_BREAK] Henry: Wha-what are you doing? Pan: I wanted your heart, Henry. But your mother took it away from me. Left me for dead. What a mistake. (Attempts to pull out Henry's heart, but is burned by Regina's enchantment) Ugh! Oh, how clever. (He tears into Henry's backside to rip out his shadow.) Henry: (In pain) What are you doing?! (Pan succeeds in pulling out the shadow partially.) Mr. Gold: (Speaking off-screen) Blood magic works both ways, father. (Both Henry and Pan turn to see him.) (Opens the box) (Pan still refuses to let go of Henry's shadow even as the box begins absorbing him away. At the last moment, without Mr. Gold's notice, Pan switches bodies with Henry. Both their eyes momentarily glow black as the change occurs.) Henry: (In Pan's body) No! (He is absorbed into the box.) Regina: (Rushing into room) Henry? Henry? Henry. (She reaches his bedside.) Pan: (In Henry's body) It's okay. I'm okay. Regina: Are you sure? Mr. Gold: He's a strong boy, Regina. You raised him well. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: Neverland. Present. The Jolly Roger. On deck, Emma, Regina and Neal assemble in preparation to release the Shadow as all the Lost Boys hurry aboard. [SCENE_BREAK] Mary Margaret: (Directing the Lost Boys as they pass by) Go. (Neal holds the coconut containing the Shadow over a cannon as Emma readies a lighter.) [SCENE_BREAK] Emma: Ready, Regina? (Regina nods.) (Emma lights the cannon fuse. Just before it fires, Neal opens the coconut halves to free the Shadow, who is catapulted into the air by the cannon. Regina quickly uses magic to force the Shadow into the ship sail, which turns black.) Emma: You think it'll fly? Regina: It has no choice. Emma: Then let's get the hell out of Neverland. Hook: As you wish, m'lady. [Inaudible], weigh anchor! (Powered by the Shadow sail, the ship lifts into the clouds and begins flying them home.) David: You know, when we first landed on this island, you said we would all need to work together. Emma: Try anything. David: To be honest, I didn't think it was possible. (Nearby, Mary Margaret is giving out food servings to the Lost Boys.) David: Hero, villain, pirate... that we could all be united, but we were because of the most important piece of the puzzle. Leader. Emma: I'm just glad we were all able to work together and get Henry home. Get all of us home. (The scene shifts to another part of the deck. Wendy gazes into the distance when Tinker Bell approaches.) Tinker Bell: Better than being in a cage, isn't it? Wendy: Are we really free? Tinker Bell: Yes, Wendy. Soon you'll see your brothers. Wendy: I have something for you. I saved it all this time. I could never use it, but maybe you can. (Hands her a vial) It's pixie dust. It's the last bit from the last flower in the treetops. It's an [inaudible]. Tinker Bell: I can't make it work. I've got no magic. Not since I lost my wings. Wendy: You'll figure it out. I believe in you, Tink. [SCENE_BREAK] SCENE: In the skies towards home. Present. The Jolly Roger. "Henry" comes to the deck. Neal notices him. [SCENE_BREAK] Neal: Hey. Feelin' okay? Shouldn't you be resting? I could bring you some food if you're feeling up for it. Pan: (In Henry's body) I'm feeling much better now. I think the fresh air is good for me. Neal: Henry, I know we haven't had much of a chance to be a family; not yet. I want you to know that you have a Dad now. Now and forever. I'll never leave you, okay, buddy? ("Henry" nods. They embrace.) (Nearby, Tinker Bell walks up to Regina.) Tinker Bell: I'm glad you got your son back, Regina. Seems the Evil Queen was able to love someone, after all. Regina: Yes, it seems. Seems you were right. Tinker Bell: I knew you still had some good in you. Regina: Apparently, you still have some magic in you. (They both look at the vial of pixie dust, which glows briefly.) Tinker Bell: What... what happened? Regina: If I had to guess, I'd say for a minute there, you believed. (Tinker Bell smiles.) ("Henry" picks up a plate of food and makes his way over to Felix. He holds it out for him, but Felix doesn't take it.) Felix: Go away, boy. I'm not hungry. Pan: (In Henry's body) But I came to thank you. Felix: No matter what those other traitors do, I'm on Pan's side. And Pan- Pan: (In Henry's body) Never fails. Felix: What? Pan: (In Henry's body) You heard me. Peter Pan never fails. He can't be stopped even when they think he's defeated. When they think they've won, he finds a way. Felix: So you think you're not safe? Pan: (In Henry's body) Oh, no, I'm perfectly safe. During our struggle, my fate was sealed. The one who's in trouble is Henry. Felix: But you're Henry. Pan: (In Henry's body) Not anymore. (He smirks.) Felix: (In realization) You. You switched. Pan: You sure you're not hungry? (Holds out plate) Felix: (Accepts plate) Thank you, Pan. Pan: Now, let's play.

Plan: A: Henry; Q: What is dying? A: Pan; Q: Who is slowly absorbing Henry's heart into his own? A: Mary Margaret; Q: Along with Emma, who is fighting Pan? A: 11 years ago; Q: When did Regina adopt Henry? A: her son; Q: What does Regina adopt Henry to be? A: Storybrooke; Q: Where did Regina adopt Henry? Summary: Henry is dying, and Pan is slowly absorbing Henry's heart into his own. Emma, Mary Margaret, and Regina have no choice but to attack Pan head-on, but this will not be a task easily accomplished. Meanwhile, 11 years ago, Regina finds a way to adopt the infant Henry to be her son in Storybrooke.

THE TRIAL OF A TIME LORD PART ELEVEN (TERROR OF THE VERVOIDS) Run time: 24:07 [SCENE_BREAK] Corridor [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: What's a thremmatologist doing in an isolation room wearing a surgical mask? Mel: Seeing as there's only one way to find out, you've got two problems. The Doctor: Two? Mel: Apart from getting rid of the guard, you're going to need a mask, and you can hardly ask the professor to lend you hers. Mel: Did you hear that? The Doctor: Quickly, the lounge! There are passengers trapped! On the double, man! There are lives at stake. [SCENE_BREAK] Isolation room [SCENE_BREAK] Ruth: No. Stop her. Stop Lasky. Ruth: Got to stop her, stop her. Stop Lasky. Doland: Out! Out! [SCENE_BREAK] Corridor [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: What's going on in there? What are you trying to hide? Will you please stop mauling me? Doland: I should drop the innocent party act if I were you. Any moment now, that guard will be back. He's going to be even less enchanted by your antics. Mel: Never mind the guard. That monstrosity, what is it in there? The Doctor: Does the Commodore know what's being isolated in there? Doland: I don't know by whose authority you ask, but if it'll put a stop you your meddling, I'll explain. That monstrosity, as you call her, is my lab assistant, Ruth Baxter. We're taking her to Earth in the hope that we can reverse her condition. Our facilities on Mogar were too primitive. Mel: What happened? How did she get in that state? Doland: The experimental nature of our work entails some calculated risks. The Doctor: Calculated risks? Are you telling me that sad travesty is a statistical possibility? Mel: The word should be criminal. Doland: Very well, perhaps I should have said unforeseen. During a particularly delicate cross-fertilisation, a speck of pollen penetrated a minute scratch on my assistant's thumb. She should never have left the wound uncovered. Guard: There he is! Halt, or I'll fire. Rudge: Oh, Doctor, you do have the knack of landing yourself in hot water. The Doctor: Satiable curtiosity, like the Elephant's Child. Mel: Never mind the Just So stories. That guard looks trigger happy to me. Rudge: Simply doing his duty, miss. The regulations are quite specific. Anyone setting off a false alarm on an intergalactic liner is to be arrested forthwith. The Doctor: No need to quote the book. I can explain. Rudge: Not to me, to the Commodore. He's expecting you. Take him. The Doctor: No, that's all right. I know the way. Mel: Doctor? The Doctor: Hmm? Mel: That way. The Doctor: Yes, I know. It's that way. [SCENE_BREAK] Trial room [SCENE_BREAK] Valeyard: Stop the Matrix. I fail to comprehend this evidence. The Doctor is on trial for his life, yet in his defence he presents us with a situation in which he is deliberately flouting accepted authority. Inquisitor: Much of your evidence does seem to contradict your stated aim, Doctor. Are you saying the Matrix is again being falsified? The Doctor: No. And if the Valeyard would exercise the same restraint as I showed during his presentation of his case against me... Valeyard: Ha! The Doctor: And could suppress his bloodlust... Inquisitor: Doctor! This court is dedicated to giving you a fair trial. Do not abuse its indulgence. The Doctor: I apologise. Inquisitor: The Matrix, Doctor. I suggest we return to the Hyperion Three. [SCENE_BREAK] Bridge [SCENE_BREAK] Travers: Bring us in closer. Reduce the margin by a factor of point naught one to naught two. The Doctor: Very narrow margin of safety, Commodore. Travers: Not to a ship of the Hyperion class. The Doctor: Still risky, though. Quirky phenomena, black holes. They can gulp with unpredictable turbulence. Travers: When I want your advice, I'll ask for it. I'll handle this. Get back on duty. Travers: What I do want to hear from you is a reason why I shouldn't throw you in the brig. Fire alarms are not playthings for irresponsible buffoons. [SCENE_BREAK] Corridor [SCENE_BREAK] Janet: Mister Rudge! Mister Rudge. Rudge: What is it, Janet? Janet: Mister Kimber has disappeared. He didn't report to the fire assembly point and he's not in his cabin. [SCENE_BREAK] Cabin 8 [SCENE_BREAK] Janet: He hasn't touched the drink I brought him. Rudge: Well, maybe he just wandered off, absent minded. Janet: Without his jacket or his watch? Rudge: Now, when did you last see him? Janet: I didn't. See him, that is. He was in the shower. I spoke to him through the door. Janet: Where can he have got to? With all these killings... Rudge: That'll do. Pull yourself together. Going to pieces won't help. We'll search the passenger quarters before we start assuming the worst. [SCENE_BREAK] Bridge [SCENE_BREAK] Travers: A grim picture. The Doctor: I've no reason to lie, Commodore. Travers: I'm not questioning your honesty, simply your methods. However, I'm left with little alternative but to begin to cooperate. The Doctor: Begin? I take it you mean begin overtly to cooperate. You've been using me, Commodore. I would never have been allowed to run free if you hadn't condoned it. Travers: Fair comment. The Doctor: Frankly, I think you should notify the authorities about the death of the investigator Hallett, and insist on being given full details of his mission. Travers: You underestimate me to that extent, do you? The Doctor: Sorry. They refused. Travers: Top secret. By the time they've gone through channels, we'll probably have docked. The Doctor: Well, that can't happen. Travers: No one will be allowed to disembark. The murderer won't escape. The Doctor: Murderer? Yes. You'll let me know as soon as you get a reply? Travers: Certainly, Doctor. I'll match you for candour. [SCENE_BREAK] Lounge [SCENE_BREAK] Janet: Did you find him? Rudge: Not a sign. And you? Rudge: I left a report we've lost another passenger. That'll improve the Commodore's temper, I'll guarantee. Atza: Mister Rudge. Rudge: Er, later. Atza: Wait. Come here. We want to know what is happening. Ortezo: Yes, where was the fire? Rudge: It was a false alarm. There is nothing to worry about. You must excuse me. I have urgent things to do. Ortezo: Sit down, Rudge. Atza: There is only one thing you have got to do. Ortezo: That is to tell us exactly what is going on. Atza: And I suggest you do so right now. [SCENE_BREAK] Bridge [SCENE_BREAK] Travers: Yes? What is it? [SCENE_BREAK] Corridor [SCENE_BREAK] Travers (O.C.): State your position. Vervoid: Help me with this. [SCENE_BREAK] Bridge [SCENE_BREAK] Travers: Who the blazes was that? Trace that call. [SCENE_BREAK] Hydroponics Centre [SCENE_BREAK] Doland: Have you gone out of your mind? Bruchner: I have been, but not any more. I've regained my sanity. Doland: It's not only your own work you're destroying. Other people have contributed. You've no right to do this! Bruchner: You long ago lost sight of the difference between right and wrong. Doland: Why? Because of some unexplained incidents? Bruchner: On my way down here, I heard of another unexplained incident. That harmless old man is missing. How many more, Doland, before you and Lasky accept responsibility? [SCENE_BREAK] Gymnasium [SCENE_BREAK] Lasky: I've no time for a horticultural discussion now, young woman. You and your erratic friend have already disrupted my routine. Mel: I only asked you if you'd tell what this leaf is. Lasky: After my workout, and that's final. Doland: I need to speak with you privately, Professor. Lasky: Really! Not now, Doland! Doland: I know how much you object to your work schedule being interrupted, but this is absolutely vital. Lasky: Well? Doland: You must speak with Bruchner, calm him down. Lasky: Can't you? Doland: Look, he won't listen to me. Lasky: Where is he? Doland: In the Hydroponic Centre. Mel: Mister Doland. Mel: Let's pick up where we left off while you're in the mood for explanations. Doland: Did I give you that impression? Mel: What are those pods in the Hydroponic Centre? Doland: The results of another experiment. Mel: I could have made an educated guess at that. What was in them? Doland: Giant fruit. And anticipating your next question, we left the fruit on Mogar. We're merely taking the shucks as an example to fellow agronomists in earthbound laboratories. Now, if you'll excuse me. Mel: Think, think. Mel: Amplifier. Vervoid (O.C.): We must not make animal-kind aware of our existence. They still outnumber us. If we are to kill them all, we must hunt them down secretly. [SCENE_BREAK] Lounge [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: Is there anybody there, said the traveller. Perhaps she's in the gym. [SCENE_BREAK] Gymnasium [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: Ah, allow me. Wish I could get rid of my waste as easily, eh? Vervoid (O.C.): We must not make animal-kind aware of our existence. Vervoid (O.C.): We must hunt them down secretly. The Doctor (O.C.): Ah, allow me. Wish I could get rid of my waste as easily, eh? [SCENE_BREAK] Lounge [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: The waste bins, where do they go? Janet: Waste bins? The Doctor: Quickly, woman. Where are they taken? Janet: Well, the pulveriser, but why... The Doctor: The pulveriser! [SCENE_BREAK] Waste disposal [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: Stop! The Doctor: Don't throw the towel in, Mel. [SCENE_BREAK] Bridge [SCENE_BREAK] Travers: Why in Hades haven't you reported before now? As a security officer, you're an unmitigated disaster. Rudge: That's hardly fair, sir. Travers: We've had a passenger murdered. According to you, another one's disappeared. Three crew members are missing, unaccounted for, and you haven't a clue as to why they've gone or where they are. [SCENE_BREAK] Vervoid lair [SCENE_BREAK] Vervoid: We are doing splendidly. Vervoid 2: Congratulations must be delayed until that is full. Vervoid: We shall not have long to wait. [SCENE_BREAK] Gymnasium [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: Doh! It's gone. Mel: What has? The Doctor: The tape. The proof we need to force Lasky's hand. Mel: It's a waste of time. Our killer's obviously removed it. The Doctor: Just as he tried to remove you. Mel: He? Why not she? The Doctor: Lasky? Mel: Or the stewardess, Janet. The Doctor: Janet? No. Mel: It wouldn't have taken a man's strength to lift my weight. A woman could have dumped me in the waste bin. The Doctor: What are they, and how do they link with these murders? Mel: Whatever they are, they're not human. And we're all to be destroyed, remember? The Doctor: Still got that bit of leaf? Mel: Where are you off to? The Doctor: Hydroponic Centre. There has to be a connection. Mel: And what about me? The Doctor: Follow your lead. See if Janet has got the tape. But Mel, be careful, hmm? Mel: You too, Doctor. [SCENE_BREAK] Lounge [SCENE_BREAK] Janet: Can I tempt you with a coffee, sir? Atza: No, thank you. Janet: How about you, sir? Ortezo: Sorry. Janet: Not to worry. It's easily changed. [SCENE_BREAK] Trial room [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: I didn't do that! Inquisitor: Stop the Matrix. Valeyard: Are we to be subjected to more chicanery, Sagacity? The Doctor: It wasn't me in there. Valeyard: Ridiculous. We all saw you. You're hardly mistakable in that outfit. The Doctor: I didn't smash the equipment! Inquisitor: Are you saying the communications equipment was not sabotaged? The Doctor: No, no, it had to be to prevent the Commodore getting information from Earth, but I didn't do it. Inquisitor: Then who did? The Doctor: The murderer. Valeyard: The murderer? I think, Inquisitor, the Doctor is telling us more than he realises. The Doctor: The prosecutor delights in scoring cheap victories, my lady. I swear to you, when I viewed that section earlier, I was nowhere near the Communications room. Valeyard: So once again the defendant is accusing the Matrix of being wrong. Inquisitor: Are you, Doctor? The Doctor: Yes! Yes, I am. Inquisitor: If you are questioning its veracity, is there any point in continuing with the Matrix? The Doctor: But what else have I got? Without evidence to prove my innocence, I'm condemned. Valeyard: And with it you are also condemned, it seems, Doctor. Shall we continue? Inquisitor: Doctor? Shall we continue? You had, as before, sent your companion into danger. [SCENE_BREAK] Communications room [SCENE_BREAK] Travers: Let's hope we don't need to call for outside help. There's no way we can repair this. We're completely isolated. [SCENE_BREAK] Hydroponics Centre [SCENE_BREAK] Lasky: Sheer vandalism, and utterly useless. Bruchner: Is that how you see it, Professor? Lasky: How else? Bruchner: Because I put an end to this obscene experiment? Lasky: I should think that when man first discovered fire there were those who were equally appalled and wanted it suppressed. Lasky: If they'd prevailed, the human race would still be cowering in caves. Bruchner: To use your own phrase, that's all academic now. Lasky: If you were rational, you'd realise how pointless this is. We can't unlearn knowledge. You're no illiterate. How often does a great advance produce this reaction. Think of Galileo. Bruchner: Galileo? Oh, is that it? You see the name Lasky inscribed in the history books. Lasky: Rubbish. This has been a team effort. Bruchner: With you as leader. Well, you fulfil that role to the last. You've led me to see the fault in my strategy. You, me, Doland, even the creatures we've spawned, the sole representatives of this great advance, and we're all encapsulated on this ship. On this ship. [SCENE_BREAK] Cargo hold [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor: I didn't even hear the dinner gong. [SCENE_BREAK] Vervoid lair [SCENE_BREAK] Vervoid 2: That man must be stopped. We are unique, the only members of the Vervoid species. If he succeeds in eliminating us, Vervoids will cease to exist. Vervoid: Forget your previous orders. Bruchner's death is now our priority. He cannot be permitted to prevent us from reaching planet Earth. [SCENE_BREAK] Hydroponics Centre [SCENE_BREAK] Lasky: I don't care what you heard on some mythical tape. The Doctor: You're letting arrogance blinker you, Professor. It may not be your intention, but you are in danger of joining an extensive roll of dishonour. Misguided scientists who claim the pursuit of truth as an excuse for immoral experiments. Lasky: This is no time to debate ethics. I made that mistake with Bruchner. I tell you the man's demented. He's out to destroy this ship and everyone on it. The Doctor: Yes, but... [SCENE_BREAK] Corridor [SCENE_BREAK] Lasky: First things first. Let's find Bruchner. The Doctor: But. He'll live. [SCENE_BREAK] Bridge [SCENE_BREAK] Bruchner: Get out of here. Now! Or I'll kill both of you. [SCENE_BREAK] Outside the Bridge [SCENE_BREAK] Travers: Later. Get the laser lance up here immediately. Lasky: Bruchner? Travers: Yes, but why? What's his motive? The Doctor: I rather think his intention is the vital question. Travers: All right then, what's? Just tell me, Doctor. The Doctor: He's determined to destroy this ship. Lasky: And the rest of us with it. Travers: Does the lunatic know anything about flying a spacecraft? Lasky: Bruchner's been trained as an astronaut. One of the team had to be. Obligatory requirement. Travers: Very thorough. The Doctor: Can the power to the bridge be cut off? Travers: No, it's designed to be hijack proof. Lasky: What's happening? Travers: Isn't that obvious? We're running into turbulence. The Doctor: I'd say rather more than turbulence. Lasky: Don't talk in riddles, man. The Doctor: Your colleague is aiming the Hyperion Three into the eye of the Black Hole of Tartarus.

Plan: A: Mel; Q: Who overhears someone plotting to kill all the animal-king onboard the Hyperion? A: the conversation; Q: What did Mel tape but it vanishes? A: Bruchner; Q: Who is becoming increasingly worried about the situation in the Hydrophics Centre? A: Vervoids; Q: What are the creatures that emerged from the pods? A: the ships air ducts; Q: Where are the Vervoids using to move around? Summary: Mel overhears someone plotting to kill all the animal-king onboard the Hyperion and has taped the conversation, unfortunately the tape vanishes. Meanwhile Bruchner is becoming increasingly worried about the situation in the Hydrophics Centre. It is soon discovered that the creatures that emerged from the pods are Vervoids and they are using the ships air ducts to move around unseen.

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Previously, on Veronica Mars... In his office, Keith examines the picture of Terrence Cook and Miss Dumass in 212 "Rashard and Wallace Go to White Castle." Veronica looks on. KEITH: That's Terrence Cook and... VERONICA: Miss Dumass. The journalism teacher. KEITH: Who died in the bus crash. VERONICA: He also has some gambling issues. At the high school, Veronica pops from around the corner to take a picture in 112 "Clash of the Tritons." VERONICA: Hi, everybody! The Triton initiation ceremony is interrupted. VERONICA: Say "repressed homosexuality"! Veronica gets a picture. The Tritons start to give chase. In 206 "Rat Saw God," Tom Griffith approaches Lamb as he celebrates his election victory. GRIFFITH: I have information about that Mexican kid who got killed. I'm the one who made the anonymous call from the bridge. Logan and Veronica discuss her research while she baby-sits for the Fullers in 207 "Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner." LOGAN: It's not the guy from the bridge. VERONICA: You said the whole night was a blur. LOGAN: I lied. Thumper challenges Weevil in 212 "Rashard and Wallace Go to White Castle." THUMPER: I'm not like you, Weevil. I don't make good speeches. So I'm just gonna say, adios. The bikers close in on Weevil. THUMPER: Hope that covers it. Veronica and Keith watch the news. TV ANNOUNCER: Balboa County Sheriff Don Lamb questions baseball legend Terrence Cook in connection with the Neptune High bus crash. End previously. INT - NEPTUNE HIGH SCHOOL (NHS), HEALTH CLASSROOM - DAY. A student hangs a "Welcome to Winter Carnival" sign off the shoulders of a large cut-out of a snowman in sunglasses. The "snow" is glittery. The student moves back, revealing Veronica entering the classroom. She peers into the room as she moves forward, passing Madison and J.B. Riley who are sitting at Ms. Hauser's desk, making a banner. Behind them are a bank of cupboards, some bearing labels such as "Videos," "Beakers," "Lab Utensils," "Bunsen Burners," and "Petri Dishes." J.B. is applying glue to the banner. Madison is unhappy. MADISON: J.B.? You need to relax with the Elmer's. Do I look like I enjoy being covered in white goo? Ms. Hauser is standing at one of the counters. Veronica reaches her. On the wall, across the room from Madison and J.B., is a completed banner for the Goldfish Toss, complete with a drawing of a goldfish in a bowl. It is also rich in glitter. The banner partially obscures the blackboard upon which is drawn what looks like the respiratory system, together with some text. The diagram marks the lung, pleural cavity, chest wall and airway. What can be read of the text is: "...they can sometimes be difficult even for experts to interpret and may not provide all the information. ...chart in your text pg.69. ...develop...from being...Please answer the questions at the end of the chapter." In front of the blackboard are three students are doing ordinary schoolwork. Weevil, face hair gone and head hair growing, is one. Another is Corny who has heard Madison's comment. He turns to Weevil who is sitting next to him. CORNY: Mahahaha! VERONICA: Ms. Hauser? J.B. hears Veronica's voice and looks over at her. Ms. Hauser holds up her hand to Veronica and walks over to the table where Weevil and Corny are working. MS. HAUSER: Enough. This is a free study period, not a free-for-all. She turns and sighs, irritated. MS. HAUSER: What is it, Veronica? VERONICA: Mr. Pope said you have some decorations for the FBLA booth? Ms. Hauser looks beyond Veronica. MS. HAUSER: J.B.? J.B. stiffens to attention. MS. HAUSER: Could you go get the hills? He points to his chest. J.B.: Oh, you mean me? Help her? She's my nemesis. Madison giggles. J.B. grins, before rising and disappearing to do Ms. Hauser's bidding. Veronica addresses Madison. VERONICA: His nemesis? Mm...did we break up? Madison, sprinkling glitter onto the banner, gives her a scornful look. She bends down to blow the excess glitter away from the word "Pep" before responding. MADISON: No. She straightens and smiles, satisfied with her work. VERONICA: [with faux-admiration] That. Is amazing. On the other side of the room, Weevil glances over at them, catching the sarcasm. Corny, on the other hand, is more interested in something on the sheet of paper in front of Weevil and points down to it. CORNY: Dude. Check it, man. Ms. Hauser is again irritated. Weevil acknowledges the joke Corny has pointed out as Ms. Hauser approaches them. MS. HAUSER: Do I need to remind you that next week's exam is worth thirty percent of your grade? Corny can barely suppress a grin as he stares up at her. Ms. Hauser snorts and moves away, bemoaning her life. MS. HAUSER: One of these days, my ship is going to come in and I will not have to deal with this nonsense. WEEVIL: So, what? She pauses and turns back to them. WEEVIL: Only the kids playing with the scissors and the glue can talk? MS. HAUSER: [condescendingly] Your student council is working very hard to raise money for your senior trip. WEEVIL: Their senior trip. The rest of us want to go to Magic Mountain. MADISON: It's Catalina. And you're crazy. I am not spending my senior trip watching you hurl hot dog and orange drink off Batman: The Ride. Veronica observes the exchange with a grin. Curly decides to illustrate the point by pretending to vomit on Weevil. CORNY: Blah! Weevil repeatedly smacks his lips in derision at Madison, as if blowing her many kisses. J.B. re-enters the classroom behind Veronica, carrying a pair of cut-out mountains, complete with trees and skiers. J.B.: Better watch your back, Veronica. He thrusts them towards her. She takes and stares at them. VERONICA: Because you're going to crush me with hideous fake hills? J.B.: Uh, no, the Kane scholarship. J.B. returns to his seat next to Madison. J.B.: I'm three one-thousandths of a point behind you. VERONICA: Oooh. Ms. Hauser walks up to Veronica and, whilst leaving them in Veronica's grip, pulls the mountain cut-outs towards her to look at them more carefully. MS. HAUSER: [syrupy] What wonderful mountains, Madison! MADISON: Thank you, Mrs. Hauser! Ms. Hauser bestows a smile on Madison, much to Veronica's disgust. As Ms. Hauser walks away, Veronica tucks the mountains under her arm. VERONICA: Oh, Madison, you have a little... Veronica taps the side of her nose. MADISON: What? Brown? Because I'm a brown-noser? VERONICA: No. Glitter. Because you're a [girlishly] fairy princess. Veronica smiles and exits. EXT - NHS, CAR PARK - DAY. Students are loitering. Voices shout out. VOICE #1: Go home! VOICE #2: Jackie! Jackie, clutching her books close to her chest but holding her head up high, comes into view, walking alone across the car park. The students turn to watch her. VOICE #2: Get your dad to drop you off! VOICE #3: Hey, check her out! VOICE #4: Ah! I can't believe it! There are other indistinct derisory comments. Jackie passes Dick who is talking to another guy. Dick sees her pass and talks loudly to his companion. DICK: How lucky am I that I got Terrence Cook to sign that ball for me before he blew up my classmates. It's going to be worth so much more than that napkin O.J. signed for me at the claim jumper. CORA: Jackie! Jackie walks on determinedly. Cora runs up from behind her. CORA: Jackie, hey! Wait up! Jackie swings around, ready to give as good as she gets until she realises that it is a friendly face. JACKIE: Sorry. I was distracted by the pitchforks and torches. CORA: So how are you? JACKIE: I'm wondering if this counts as my fifteen minutes of fame. And if so, what does the child of an alleged murderer wear to Winter Carnival? CORA: No one expects you to go, Jackie. JACKIE: French Club does. We volunteered, remember? Je saute, vous sautez. Jackie giggles nervously. Madison passes by and overhears this. She takes on a disgusted demeanour and approaches them. MADISON: You're not really going. Even you're not that tacky. JACKIE: School carnival? Me, you, and the Shake Shack doing a little "You're the One That I Want"? I am so there. Jackie turns and walks away from both girls. Madison calls after her. MADISON: It's not a freak show. Your being there will ruin everything. Jackie pauses and turns back to face Madison. JACKIE: [resigned] That's my plan. Ruin everything. She turns and walks on. INT - MARS INVESTIGATIONS (MI) - DAY. A client is sitting opposite Keith's desk, in full flow. MR. SPIVAK: You said he's in such pain he can't get out of bed. But three times my kid said he saw him at the Speed Zone, on the Go Kart track. You ever try climbing into one of those little cars? I'm not paying this guy a dime. KEITH: I'm still waiting on the fax from the insurance company. As Keith speaks, the ring of an incoming fax can be heard. Keith rises from his chair and walks out to the main office to collect the fax. He reads it as he starts to head back into his office, glancing up briefly before returning to his reading. He does a double-take and looks up again. Terrence Cook is sitting on the small couch. Terrence stands. TERRENCE: I don't have an appointment. I was hoping you'd have time for a consultation. KEITH: I will, if you don't mind waiting. TERRENCE: I can wait. Keith is seriously chuffed that his hero is there. He heads back into his office, barely able to disguise the squee factor. EXT - NHS - DAY. The Winter Carnival is set around the outside of the school. The sign and snowman seen in Ms. Hauser's classroom decorates the ticket booth at the entrance to the carnival. TICKET VENDOR: Five dollars worth? Okay. There is a cacophony of carnival music and voices as the camera glides over the top of the ticket booth to the delights within, which include a bouncy castle and a filled, though grounded, hot air balloon. Next to a booth offering "Darts," Madison's booth is set right next to one of the school's entrances. The banner over the top reads "Pep Squad Cakes & Cookies." At either end of the banner are pictures of snowmen, the word "Pies" in script along their widest parts. Behind her and another pep squadder working with her are shelves filled with large pink boxes. MADISON: Who wants some pie? Elsewhere, a child jumps into a ball pit. Small children surround the pit, laughing. Couples wander the carnival, many carrying stuffed animals. Veronica watches from her small Slushies and Snow Cones booth. As well as the mountains which decorate the back of the booth, there are two large stuffed penguins at each end at the front, one on the counter, which bears an FBLA button, and one on the ground at the corner. A cartoon of a small striding snowman also advertises that this is the FBLA booth. Behind and to the side of the booth, Logan, who looks to have had a haircut courtesy of the Marines, is kidding around with a little boy with a balloon. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Two by two. Apparently you can only enter the carnival as if it were the Ark. The child runs off and Logan turns his attention to Veronica, leaning against one of the ice machines, watching her from behind. "Watching her behind" would work here too. VERONICA: Slushies! Logan grins. VERONICA: Get your ice cold frozen...sugar water. LOGAN: You had me at "ice cold." Veronica glances back and smiles tightly. VERONICA: What's your poison? Logan heads around to the front of the booth. LOGAN: Ah, emotionally unavailable women. Veronica raps on the counter in "Ta-da" emphasis. Logan stares at the menus along the back. The choice of Snow Cones include Icicle Blue, Strawberry, Grape, Green Apple, Cherry Pink and Cotton Candy. Slushies come in Electric Lemonade, Tropical Vanilla, Cherry Banana, Rainbow Mix, Punch and Blue Raspberry. LOGAN: Let's see...uh, I want something that suits my mood. VERONICA: Oooh, I'm sorry. We're all out of liquid evil. LOGAN: I'll take two of whatever will turn my tongue blue. Veronica turns to get his slushies. VERONICA: Hot date? LOGAN: Rain check? She casts him a censorious glance. LOGAN: Night with the fellas, you know how it is. As Logan gets his wallet from his back pocket, he is distracted by Madison's sales pitch. MADISON: Pies! Pep Squad pies! The pies are selling well and the booth is busy as Madison takes some cash and presents the customer with one of the pink boxes, giggling all the while. LOGAN: Boy, people really love Pep Squad pie. Veronica looks over at the booth. VERONICA: It's genius. Madison's dad gives her forty bucks to buy a pie from some chi-chi bakery and then drops three bills to buy it back in front of a live studio audience. He loves her. Veronica finishes pouring out the Slushies and places two turquoise drinks on the counter in front of Logan who is amused by her cynicism. LOGAN: Oh, the rich. How they mock you. He hands her a fifty dollar bill. She takes it and stares at it. She pretends incredulity. VERONICA: There's a fifty dollar bill? LOGAN: Had them made special. Veronica reaches back and grabs a money pouch marked "FBLA." She unzips it, puts the fifty in and starts to count out the change as Logan watches. In the meantime, a couple have stopped behind him and are studying the menu. Veronica hands Logan his change, which he stuffs loose into his back pocket. He glances at the couple behind him. LOGAN: The hoi polloi. His wallet follows the path of the change. LOGAN: They don't know what they want until I have it. Logan picks up the Slushies and walks away. Veronica puts the money pouch back in the back and turns to face her new customers. The camera switches to some balloons. Weevil is down on bended knee, talking to a pretty little six-year-old, wrapped up in a pink hat and pink sweater. She is carrying a Powerpuff Girls backpack. It's pink. WEEVIL: Okay, you want fifty balloons, or some popcorn and ice cream? OPHELIA: Balloons. WEEVIL: You say that now, then it's "Oh, Uncle Eli, I'm so hungry!" He tickles her stomach and she giggles. Weevil hands some cash to the man holding the balloons. BALLOON MAN: Thanks. Here you go. Weevil rises as the man hands Ophelia a balloon, which is...pink. Before they can turn away, Thumper passes and flicks hard at the balloon. Weevil gives him a baleful look as Thumper skips away. THUMPER: Sorry. Thought that was yo' head. Pleased at being such a badass to a child, Thumper moves on, past a booth where the object of the game is to shoot a ball into the mouth of the rotating head of a clown. Dick has just been successful. Logan is holding the Slushies. DICK: I am so good at this game, bro. LOGAN: Shooting in a clown's mouth. Your future's bright, Dick. They move on, Logan handing Dick his Slushie as Dick spots something in the crowd. DICK: Dude. Am I drunk? LOGAN: No, dude, you're just special. Logan looks over to where Dick's gaze is fixed. It's Beaver and Mac, holding hands, wandering through the carnival. DICK: Why is the Beav all snuggly with that chick from Ghost World? Logan watches them a moment with a smile, then turns back to the bemused Dick. Back as the Slushie booth, Veronica is using a screwdriver, trying to dislodge something in one of the machines. Jackie slowly approaches the booth. JACKIE: This school genuinely sucks. Veronica finishes with the screwdriver and starts to unscrew a bottle of flavouring. VERONICA: True dat. Ms. Hauser approaches the Pep Squad Pie booth. She is carrying a metal cashbox. MS. HAUSER: Oh, Madison. MADISON: [simpering] Oh, hi. Madison gives her a little wave. Madison's pep squad pal watches, beaming brightly. Spotting this, Veronica puts down the container and grabs the money pouch. She unzips it as Madison hands over her money to Ms. Hauser. MS. HAUSER: Thank you, Madison. Madison does a tiny curtsy and giggles. Ms. Hauser heads for Veronica who is frantically trying to organise the money. Ms. Hauser looks on impatiently. VERONICA: Sorry. Got a little slammed. Jackie wanders off as J.B. approaches Ms. Hauser. J.B.: Can I have the keys for your class? The, uh, sign for the Bounce House is falling down, I should grab the staple gun. Ms. Hauser looks towards the Bounce House and then gushes as she takes her keys out of her pocket. MS. HAUSER: Thank you, J.B. She hands him the keys and he heads into the school. MS. HAUSER: [pointedly] So reliable. Veronica laughs bitterly to herself as she finally gets the cash sorted out. VERONICA: It's a little sticky. As she hands the money over, a number of young men, nude but for balaclavas (ski masks) and shoes and socks, appear, running amongst the crowd, to the laughs and shouts of "Woo-ooh" of said crowd. Ms. Hauser, having stowed Veronica's money in the cashbox, looks over, disgusted, as the boys race past. Wallace and Jane are standing by the ball pit opposite, watching the show. Ms. Hauser pulls a face as she watches the streakers run up the steps into the lunch area. Dick, at the top of the steps, claps as they pass him. DICK: Good job. Back at the Slushie booth, Ms. Hauser thrusts the cashbox into Veronica's hands. MS. HAUSER: Here, hold on to this. She marches off in a determined fashion. VERONICA: It's not a carnival until somebody shows butt cheek. Veronica turns to the side of the booth. One of the machines is resting at the end of a low cupboard on which are also some paper towel, the screwdriver, a couple of scoops and another stuffed penguin. Veronica bends down, places the box in the cupboard next to a bottle of flavouring, and slides the door closed. Ms. Hauser finds Principal Clemmons, who is murmuring into a walkie talkie. MS. HAUSER: Did you see that? Wallace and Jane approach the Slushie booth. WALLACE: I'm out here with my special lady friend and I gotta see that. VERONICA: Not a big fan of the Tritons' annual tuck and run? Ms. Hauser returns to the Slushie booth, all flustered and impatient. MS. HAUSER: May I have the cashbox, please, before this day gets any crazier? Veronica bends down and slides open the door. The cashbox is gone. At the back of the cupboard is a small fingerhole for sliding open the door from the other side. Veronica slides it open, exposing the passing legs of people on the other side. Veronica stands up slowly and turns around to face Ms. Hauser. VERONICA: Yeah, so, it's gone. MS. HAUSER: What are you talking about? I just gave it to you. VERONICA: And I put it in there, and now it's gone. Clemmons appears at Ms. Hauser's side. MS. HAUSER: In less than three minutes, Veronica Mars has lost all the senior trip money. Clemmons casts Veronica a woeful look. Veronica shrugs. VERONICA: [attempting humour] Is that a record? It doesn't work as Clemmons' expression indicates his disappointment. Veronica's smile morphs into a frown. Opening credits. EXT - NHS - CONTINUING. Ms. Hauser and Clemmons are bent down at the cupboard from the public side, peering through to the other side, into the Slushie booth. They glance at each other before straightening and facing Veronica, still inside the booth. MS. HAUSER: A senior tradition thirty years in the making. You, young lady, owe Neptune High School twelve thousand dollars. VERONICA: There was twelve thousand dollars in there? MS. HAUSER: [to Clemmons] Why are we standing here chatting? She should be searched. VERONICA: It's a metal box, this big. Veronica indicates its dimensions with her hands and then her body. VERONICA: Where exactly do you think I hid it? Ms. Hauser folds her arms, unconvinced. VERONICA: The box was locked. If you make everyone exit through the metal detectors, no one will be able to leave with it. MS. HAUSER: And if they find a way to open it? VERONICA: You should make sure the shops are locked, any classroom with tools, the janitor's closet... CLEMMONS: ...was locked up before the carnival started. Clemmons gestures for a security guard before turning back to Veronica. CLEMMONS: It's not my first day. From her booth, Madison takes an interest in what is going on. SECURITY GUARD: [offscreen] Yes sir? CLEMMONS: [offscreen] I want the metal detectors to be moved to the exit. Back at the Slushie booth, the security guard nods. CLEMMONS: And we're going to have to start searching the lockers. Immediately. Madison marches over. MADISON: You want to save yourself some time? Start with her. She points to Jackie, who is standing, watching events. Jackie stares at Madison. MADISON: We all saw her, lurking around. JACKIE: Lurking? Uh, you mean, standing while black? Jackie shrugs. Madison addresses the teachers. MADISON: She told me earlier today she had a plan to ruin everything. Ms. Hauser takes up the attack, striding up to Jackie. MS. HAUSER: You know, there are plenty of people with notorious parents who turn out to be decent people. Don't think you have an excuse. She breezes past Jackie who takes a deep breath before looking at a sympathetic Veronica. Elsewhere in the carnival, Logan approaches the Leap Frog booth. Stuffed toys hang down from the top of the booth. On the counter are wooden catapults which, when struck with a mallet, will send a rubber frog in the air towards a revolving pool with bowls on lily pads. Two girls can be seen talking inside. There's another couple of girls at the side. LOGAN: So, I'm not actually leaping frogs myself? One of the girls, slim, young, with long blonde hair, breaks off her conversation with the other and faces Logan with a smile. LOGAN: I'll try anything once. She grins, not really suggestively although Logan elects to read it that way. LOGAN: Except for that. He grins back. LOGAN: Why you cheeky little... He walks forward and hands her the money. He grabs one of the rubber frogs, placing it incorrectly at the end of the catapult. HANNAH: Uh, you don't take physics, do you? She turns the frog over and places it correctly. LOGAN: I have a tattoo of Newton's second law right on my heart. She giggles. Logan's first effort is a puny one and the frog falls to the floor. LOGAN: [laughing] Wanna see? Logan starts to pull down his sweater from the neck. LOGAN: It's right here. HANNAH: You get three tries. He stops, smiling at her warmly. LOGAN: You're so accommodating. His second effort is better but the frog only makes it as far as the edge of the pool. The other girls in the booth giggle. LOGAN: How 'bout a little support, ladies? GIRLS: [clapping] Yeah, woo! Logan tries again, this time with more apparent effort. The frog bounces off the edge of the pool again. The blonde giggles. LOGAN: What, and I suppose you're fantastic at this? The blonde makes her way around to the front of the booth. LOGAN: Okay. ONE OF THE GIRLS: Show him. She puts her hands on his upper arms to gently push him out of the way. HANNAH: Excuse me. LOGAN: Oh. HANNAH: Ladies, a little support. GIRLS: [clapping more enthusiastically] Woooo! Yeah! She sets up the catapult and takes aim. Logan standing right next to her, leans in with his hands on the counter. She pounds down with the mallet. Logan cries out, clutching his hand. LOGAN: Ah! Logan spins away. The girl is horrified. HANNAH: My God! I'm so sorry! LOGAN: Oh, I can't believe you fell for that. Logan shakes his hand, unhurt. He kisses his fingers at her as she huffs and pushes past him to go back into the booth. LOGAN: I think I should get a prize just for being so entertaining. HANNAH: Yeah, well I wasn't all that entertained. If you want a prize, frog on the lily pad. She places another frog on the catapult. Logan hits with force, sending the frog straight into one of the bowls. The girl laughs. Logan acknowledges the praise with a nod. LOGAN: I'd like the pink bunny, please. She pulls a stuffed pink rabbit from its clip at the side of the pool and hands it to him. LOGAN: What's your name? HANNAH: Hannah. LOGAN: I'll name my bunny after you, Hannah. She grins and giggles. LOGAN: Actually, name it Logan. He hands her the bunny. LOGAN: Or break my heart. He backs away with a soft smile. The other girls squee at Hannah and her encounter. Hannah is flushed, still grinning as she attends to the next customer. HANNAH: Hi ya. Elsewhere, Veronica, now off Slushie duty, heads purposefully for Weevil, sitting on one of the benches with his niece. She slides onto the bench, next to the little girl's backpack. VERONICA: Hey. Who's your date? WEEVIL: This is Ophelia, my niece. This is Veronica. VERONICA: Nice backpack. You like the Powerpuff girls, huh? Veronica starts to feel the backpack. VERONICA: Which one is this? WEEVIL: She's the one that's not shaped like a metal cashbox. Veronica glances at Weevil suspiciously. WEEVIL: They start moving metal detectors around, Veronica, you think the word's not gonna spread? Why don't you just open it up already? Without apology or embarrassment, Veronica unzips and searches the backpack. There is a doll, amongst other things, but no cashbox. Veronica sighs with disappointment, glances down at the girl and then looks around for the next place to search. WEEVIL: You know your case must really suck if your prime suspect is a six year-old. Veronica gets up and moves on without a backward glance. INT - MI - DAY. Keith is using Veronica's desk in the main office. Terrence is sitting opposite. TERRENCE: The sheriff is using me as a scapegoat. And if there's anyone fit to take on the sheriff's department, it's you. Keith is nodding, still nearly grinning in awe of his visitor. TERRENCE: I read your book, Mr. Mars. I, I couldn't put it down. KEITH: Yeah, well, if you read it carefully you might remember the famous guy went to jail in the end of that one. TERRENCE: Look. The sheriff sees me as Woody's ally. I spent the last three months speaking to the minority population on behalf of his incorporation plan. Now if that goes through, the sheriff instantly gets turned into the hayseed who hands out speeding tickets on the way into town. KEITH: So, Lamb made his point, he leaned on you. Big deal. He's never gonna file charges unless he's got some kind of hard evidence. TERRENCE: Well, I'd gone out to the park to talk to Woody about my doing the colour commentary on Shark broadcasts this year. There was a group from Neptune High. And I signed a bunch of baseballs, jerseys... KEITH: So? TERRENCE: Lamb's forensic specialists found cell phone and baseball fragments embedded in the driver's body. He thinks I planted a bomb in the bag [Note: or "back"], that I detonated by calling the cell phone. And I need you to prove that I didn't make that call. That I had nothing to do with that crash. EXT - NHS - DAY. Veronica, passing a walking snowman with a scarf in Neptune colours, rounds the corner of the Slushie booth. Beaver is now manning the booth and having trouble with one of the machines. It is whirring ineffectually. Mac is sitting on the back counter. VERONICA: Whatcha doin' back there, Mackie? MAC: Keepin' Beaver company. She grins at Veronica in an excited, girly way. Beaver's serious look transforms into a smile. VERONICA: That sounds fun. MAC: That's 'cause it is. CASSIDY: I think the machine broke. VERONICA: The ice is jammed. Just break it up with a screwdriver. CASSIDY: Great. I just lent it to Jackie. VERONICA: Jackie asked to borrow a screwdriver? Do you know where she went? CASSIDY: No. She was just here. They look around. Jackie can be seen disappearing into the school. Mac points. MAC: There she is. Veronica sees her and follows. INT - NHS, HALLWAY - CONTINUING. The hallway has a couple of new large banners. One is for girls' basketball, promising that "It's a workout!" The other is for this year's drama club production, South Pacific, proclaiming that "Bali Hai may call you!" Jackie, carrying her coat over her arm, looks around furtively before going into the girls' bathroom. Veronica rounds the corner and pauses at the door. She leans her head closer to the door for she can hear the sound of metal scraping metal. She gives a disappointed sigh. INT - NHS, GIRLS' BATHROOM - CONTINUING. Veronica enters the bathroom. The sound is louder now and Veronica heads towards it VERONICA: Jackie? A shape can be seen under the door of one of the cubicles. The noise stops. VERONICA: What are you doing? JACKIE: Changing into my bathing suit. VERONICA: That doesn't usually require a screwdriver. Jackie opens the cubicle door and comes out, dressed in a bikini with her coat over the top. JACKIE: No, it usually doesn't. She hands Veronica the screwdriver. Jackie goes to the sinks, putting her bag down and checking her reflection, swallowing hard. Veronica checks the cubicle. There's nothing there. As Veronica backs out, she sees the back of the door. Someone has written "Jackie Cook is a xxxxxxxxxxxxx!!!" The last word has been scraped off the metal door. Veronica realises what Jackie was doing with the screwdriver. JACKIE: Like putting on a bikini isn't stressful enough. VERONICA: It really looked like... JACKIE: I know what it looked like. VERONICA: Why are you wearing a bathing suit? Jackie takes off her earrings. JACKIE: Didn't you hear? I won. Veronica swallows as she gets the point. Jackie continues to make ready by redoing her hair into a ponytail. JACKIE: Before I was the demonized offspring of a mass murderer, I signed up for the dunk tank. You know, you get a jar, and whoever gets the most money gets dunked. I went from a week of having the three dollars I put in for myself to having almost four hundred dollars. Go figure. Having finished, Jackie grabs her things and moves to leave the bathroom. VERONICA: Jackie. Really, you're wasting your time trying to prove something to these people. JACKIE: Yeah. And when people thought the worst of your dad, you just took it lying down. Right? Veronica doesn't respond and lets Jackie leave. Veronica sighs. EXT - NHS - DAY. Jackie arrives at the dunk tank booth. People are waiting, looking mean. Cora is waiting. CORA: Hey, are you sure you want to do this? JACKIE: "Want" might be stretching it. Hey, it's my senior trip too. Time to take one for the team. Jackie moves to the side, near the teacher. FRENCH TEACHER: Hey. Jackie smiles at him, drops her bag and takes off her coat. A jock is waiting impatiently to throw the first ball. Jackie climbs up to the platform above the small pool and settles in place. Veronica watches from a distance. BASEBALL PLAYER: One of my friends was on that bus. He throws the ball hard at the target. He hits it and Jackie drops into the clear-sided pool. The crowd cheers and jeers. The French teacher resets the platform and Jackie climbs back up. BASEBALL PLAYER: Hey Jackie. What do you think your dad would think of my curveball? JACKIE: He'd say it's weak. He throws and hits the target again. Jackie drops into the water again. The crowd is enjoying themselves, except for Veronica, who turns to walk away. INT - MI - DAY. Terrence is standing in front of Veronica's desk, looking back towards the small kitchenette. KEITH: In the spirit of full client/investigator disclosure... Keith opens the door of the fridge, looking back at Terrence. KEITH: ...I'm not offering you this beer out of the goodness of my heart. TERRENCE: You're not? Keith grabs a couple of beers and returns to the main office. KEITH: Nope. Keith twists off the tops. KEITH: I'm fulfilling a long-time fantasy of sharing a cold one with my favourite ball players. He hands Terrence a beer. KEITH: And after we're done, we're gonna play catch in the parking lot. They both grin. TERRENCE: Favourite, huh? KEITH: I saw you pitch three times in triple-A back when you were nineteen. I mean, there wasn't much to do in Fresno as a twenty-two year-old deputy. Never saw you give up a run. After that, I followed everything you did in the bigs. Your whole career. TERRENCE: Well, in that case, here's to hoping I still got a career when this is all through. They tap bottles and take swigs. Keith heads around the desk. Terrence sits down again opposite him. KEITH: Now that I've come clean, maybe you want to tell me about your relationship with the journalism teacher. Terrence, the bottle at his mouth, pauses and stares at Keith, now sitting at the desk. KEITH: Miss Dumass, I believe her name is? He slowly pulls the bottle away as Keith leafs through a file on his desk. KEITH: Right. Keith finds the photo and holds it up for Terrence. KEITH: Here's a picture of you two looking rather intimate. Keith taps his finger at the top of the photo where Terrence and Miss Dumass are photographed standing closely together. Terrence looks at the photo and then at Keith, taking a deep breath. KEITH: I'm sorry about your loss, Mr. Cook, but you're gonna need to be a lot more upfront with me if you want me to work for you. EXT - NHS - DAY. Jackie, wet and bedraggled, climbs back up on the platform. The crowd is jeering. Wallace walks up enthusiastically, Jane following him. He pays his money to Cora who is surprised to see him. Jackie is gutted. She gulps. CROWD: Yeah, Wallace! Wallace rubs his hands together. Cora, frowning deeply, hands him a ball. Wallace shows off for Jane. WALLACE: Wind up! Wallace makes an exaggerated wind up and then throws the ball clear over the top of the booth. Jackie watches it go well over her head as the crowd shouts in disappointment. The ball can be heard landing behind the booth with a thump and the sound of a car alarm. WALLACE: Okay, that was weird. Wallace tests his arm movement before turning to a smiling Jane and taking another ball from Cora. WALLACE: I got this. Check out this one. He looks at Jackie and throws again. WALLACE: Look out, Jackie! The ball sails over the top again. JANE: Just a bit offside. WALLACE: I suck at this. Wallace rubs his shoulder. The crowd is unhappy that their bloodlust is being denied. CROWD: Get out of here! Wallace holds his hand out for another ball but is halted by the teacher. FRENCH TEACHER: All right, that's enough. Next! CORA: Sorry, Wallace. Wallace turns to the crowd. WALLACE: [sarcastically] Y'all are cool. Real cool. Wallace leads Jane away as another unfriendly jock moves up to take his turn. At the Pep Squad Pie booth, Madison's equally blonde, vacuous colleague takes money from a customer. GUY: One. PEP SQUAD GIRL: Thanks! Madison collects one of the pink boxes, handing it to another customer. MADISON: Here you go. GIRL: Thank you. The customer takes the box and walks away, revealing Beaver and Mac behind, walking hand in hand. MAC: So are we winning? CASSIDY: What? MAC: I feel like we're in a contest with all the other couples. Who can hold hands longest. CASSIDY: I just-I just don't want to lose you in the crowd. Mac giggles. They come to a stop when faced with Dick and a couple of his friends. DICK: Hey, aren't you gonna introduce us? Wow. You guys are cute. Aren't they? Like gerbils. In love. CASSIDY: [agitated] Dick, don't. DICK: Chill, Beav. I get to give the big brother speech here. Just lookin' out for you. MAC: You don't have to worry. He's fine. DICK: Yeah? In good hands? 'Cause, you gotta take it easy on my bro. You know, if you're gonna pop his cherry, hold back a little. Beaver is embarrassed and infuriated. CASSIDY: You're such an ass! DICK: Don't go bustin' out any tricks. Gentle and sweet. You don't wanna spook him. Like right now, I know his hands are just dripping with sweat, and you are so completely grossed out. But you're hangin' in. I dig that. Beaver pulls his hand out of Mac's grasp. DICK: Oop! See how it just slipped right out? Gotta work on that, bro. Dick walks away, leaving Beaver upset. He storms off and Mac follows. Elsewhere, Hannah is buying cotton candy. COTTON CANDY VENDOR: Here you go. HANNAH: Thank you. COTTON CANDY VENDOR: Yep. As she holds it out behind her, Logan arrives and takes a lump of it, sticking it in his mouth. She whips around. HANNAH: Hey! LOGAN: Hey. Sorry, did you want that? He uses his fingers to repair the damage his theft has caused. HANNAH: No, I bought it for you. LOGAN: Oh, you are sweet. As Hannah giggles, Logan moves to the side, glancing over to Hannah's right as he does. LOGAN: So. He places himself between Hannah and three other girls huddled together wearing the same tops as Hannah, before turning to face her. LOGAN: I couldn't help but notice that you are separated from the herd. And I'm concerned, you know, predators and all that. HANNAH: Well, I can take care of myself. LOGAN: Well that's a shame. He takes another lump of cotton candy. HANNAH: Dude! Logan swallows the candy and laughs. LOGAN: Okay. Boy, it sounds so unnatural coming from you. HANNAH: I say "dude" all the time. LOGAN: Nope, I don't buy it. No, you're like, I don't know, like the hot daughter of a king he marries off to get, like, Denmark or something. HANNAH: You mean a princess. LOGAN: You know I'm only ever going to call you princess now. HANNAH: No you're not. LOGAN: Princess. I am. She giggles again. Logan glances back at the other girls. LOGAN: My friend Dick's workin' the slushie booth. We should go pay him a visit. You know, he's all about the royals. HANNAH: I can't. I'm here with my friends. Logan glances back at them again. LOGAN: So. Go tell 'em you want to play with me for a little while. HANNAH: What makes you think I want to? LOGAN: What makes you think it's a good idea to pretend you don't? Hannah giggles again and then walks around Logan to go to her friends. He watches, smiling as Hannah makes her excuses to her friends. HANNAH: Okay? The girls giggle and watch as Hannah heads back towards Logan. Logan waves at the girls. Hannah joins him. LOGAN: Cool. As they walk along, Logan pulls the cotton candy, which Hannah is still holding, to his mouth and takes a bite. HANNAH: Heeyy! Logan grins. Later, night has fallen. Jackie is shivering on her perch over the pool. Madison, with a look of deep and malicious satisfaction, has a ball in her hand. CROWD: C'mon, dunk her! Yeah! Dunk her good! She throws the ball. Madison's feeble effort lacks power and direction, and the ball bounces harmlessly off the fencing around the pool. The crowd groans. CROWD: Aww! Next time. Nice try. Come on! Madison takes another ball. MADISON: Wow. You're almost turning blue. Watched by Veronica and the rest of the crowd, Madison moves away from the counter and into the booth. CROWD: Come on, Madison! Do it! She stands next to the target, resting the ball on it and looks up at Jackie. MADISON: Next time I tell you to stay home, listen. Madison pushes the target, dumping Jackie into the water. The crowd laughs and cheers. Madison walks away, ridiculously pleased with herself. Behind the crowd, screams can be heard. Veronica takes notice and heads in their direction. She approaches the ball pit. Stuffed snakes are wrapped around the edges of the waist-high railing. Thumper is arguing with the guys in charge of it. THUMPER: Yo, I don't see no sign sayin' this is just for kids. You see any signs? I want that snake. You gonna let me in there or what? Veronica has an idea and races over to Clemmons who is talking to Ms. Hauser. CLEMMONS: ...locked, there's no way that anyone would be able to leave the school grounds without being discovered. VERONICA: You have to empty the ball pit. CLEMMONS: What? VERONICA: It's the perfect place. Right in the middle of everything. Whoever stole the cashbox could've just dumped it in there. We have to empty it. CLEMMONS: And if you're wrong? Cut to later as a bag of balls is thrown on top of other bags and buckets of balls. BALL PIT GUY: That's the last of it. The ball pit has been all but emptied. There is a child's shoe, a bag, some stuffed snakes and a few stray balls left at the bottom, but no cashbox. A few kids stare down disconsolately at the ball-free pit. MS. HAUSER: Why would you even consider listening to her? Principal, and you're taking directions from a teenage girl. VERONICA: Sorry. A girl approaches Clemmons from the side as Veronica apologises to the kids. TANYA: Principal Clemmons? VERONICA: I'm really sorry about this. We're gonna fill it back up. As Clemmons takes a camera from the girl, Ms. Hauser turns her venom on Veronica. MS. HAUSER: Veronica Mars, you are just trouble. All caps, underlined, written in bold- CLEMMONS: Tanya Flynn has been filming tonight for the video yearbook. Apparently, she has footage that should prove to be interesting. INT - NHS, CLEMMONS OFFICE - NIGHT. Under the glare of Ms. Hauser, Clemmons connects the camera to a TV in the corner. CLEMMONS: One of your classmates was filming tonight for the Video Yearbook. As he talks, the camera pans round to the students collected there: Jackie, Madison, J.B., Weevil and Ophelia, and Dick. Dick is not paying attention, instead blowing air on Ophelia's balloon. CLEMMONS: Those of you we've asked to join us were in the vicinity of the cashbox right before the unfortunate streaking incident. Your lockers are being searched as we speak. Clemmons clears his throat to get Dick's attention. J.B. holds up his hand. J.B.: Even if you found money, there's really no way of proving it's the stolen money. MS. HAUSER: Not a lot of people carry twelve grand on them. DICK: Uh, I never leave the house without at least thirteen. WEEVIL: Yeah, me either. VERONICA: Actually, I got a fifty dollar bill when I was working the Slushie Booth. It had the name Nancy in black marker across the back, along with a phone number. That's one way to know if it's the cashbox money. J.B. shakes his head at his nemesis' one-upmanship. VERONICA: So...are we gonna get to see the video? Clemmons clicks the remote. The video opens on Veronica working at the Slushie booth behind one of the giant stuffed penguins. To the left, Dick is playing a game that involves shooting something. Dick on film throws up his hands in triumph. Dick in Clemmons office smirks at the reminder of his success. The video moves further left, showing Weevil and Ophelia by the nearby steps. In the office, Weevil looks down at Ophelia fondly. Various voices can be heard. GUY ON TAPE: I didn't know you were gonna be here, man. GIRL ON TAPE: Oh, it's so cute! The camera swings back across the Slushie booth to the other side. The Pie Squad booth can be seen, as can Jackie, walking past with her coat over her arm. Ms. Hauser points excitedly at the screen. MS. HAUSER: Look at Jackie. See, she's hiding something under her jacket. JACKIE: That was my gym bag with my bathing suit and towel. MS. HAUSER: You're not getting away with anything, Missy. I don't care what your zip code is. Trash is trash. Mark my words. Veronica half-glances back at Jackie, who is standing behind her, in disgust at Ms. Hauser's words. EXT - NHS - NIGHT. Logan and Hannah are in the Bounce House. They are sitting against a central pillar as children bounce around them. They both have Slushies. LOGAN: Look, just so you know, I take all my dates here. I don't want you to think you're special or anything. HANNAH: Ah, this isn't a date. LOGAN: Um, I bought you a drink. And I won you a stuffed animal. Check your dictionary, Princess. HANNAH: I haven't had a date yet. I'm kind of holding out for something special. LOGAN: Wow, you are a princess. Hannah laughs. Outside, Dick is manning the Slushie booth. Madison is standing by the booth. Dick walks over to her but before he can deliver whatever he-man quip he had planned, his eye is caught by something over her shoulder. DICK: Oh, look at him. Madison looks over her shoulder. DICK: Have I taught him nothing? Mac is sitting on one of the benches and between Beaver's legs. Beaver is sitting on the top of the back of the bench, looking over her shoulder and pointing. DICK: He's like some neutered-eunuch-nerd drone. Madison giggles. Back at the bench, Mac and Beaver are giggling too as they look down at the laptop's screen. They have pulled up premiereescorts.biz, the return on a search for "san diego exotic escort." At the top of the screen, next to the website title, is an advert claiming "All lingerie 30% off." On the left hand side, after the login and password, there is a narrow strip with thumbnails of featured escorts. The pictures tend to focus below the neck and above the knee. The first featured escort is COOKIN-WITH-LUVIN. The details are "AGE: 21 SIZE: 32C-23-34 HT: 5'11" WT: 119lbs HAIR: BLN EYES: BRN ETHNICITY: CAUCASIAN." Most of the screen, however, is comprised of pictureless entries, such as the first: "Bambi_Gasm: 'Alternative' Escort with an attitude to match. AGE: 35 SIZE: 32B-26-32 HT: 5'11" WT: 125 HAIR: BLK EYES: BLU ETHNICITY: CAUCASIAN Description: Boyfriend, you do not want to get on Bambi_Gasm's mean side, or...treatment. Exotic, athletic build, M.I.L.F. written all over me...don't do couples and a clean hygiene is a must..." BEAVER: Bambi_gasm! MAC: [in upper crust accent] Of the Boston Gasms? BEAVER: One would hope. They grin as Mac punches the keyboard. INT - MI - NIGHT. Terrence is now sitting on the small couch. Keith has turned the visitor's chair around and is sitting on it, facing him. TERRENCE: It was supposed to be the final fling. The next thing I know, I'm living Fatal Attraction. She didn't even tell me that she was applying for the teaching job in Neptune till she got it and moved here. Then she started threatening me. Said if I didn't end things with my fiancée, that she would. She did. KEITH: She told your fiancée? TERRENCE: And the wedding was off. Terrence takes a swig from the beer bottle. KEITH: A secret, tumultuous relationship with the teacher who died in the crash? It seems like more of a motive than supporting Woody's plans for incorporation, don't you think? Terrence sighs. EXT - NHS - NIGHT. Veronica is prowling the carnival when she passes the flagpole, decorated for the event. She has another idea and looks around for the person she needs. Successful, she walks purposively forward towards Weevil and Ophelia. WEEVIL: Whoa, sorry. I can't let you frisk me. She's at an impressionable age. VERONICA: Remember when you and your buddy Logan spindled our teacher's car? How did that work? I'm not big on power tools, but I'm thinking that might involve some type of saw? WEEVIL: I don't know why you bother fishing here. You got a question, ask it. VERONICA: You seem to know a way to get into autoshop after hours. Suspicious. WEEVIL: Well, then you're suspicious of a lot of people. All the guys who take shop make copies of Mr. Dalton's keys. Weevil carries on past Veronica who turns to watch him go. INT - NHS, AUTOSHOP - NIGHT. On a free-standing blackboard is a drawing of a Serpentine drive belt and tensioner. Many of the parts are labelled: 1. Damper 2. Tensioner 3. Power steering pulley 4. Generator 5. Drive belt 6. A/C Compressor 7. Idler pulley. There is also a close up drawing of interlocking gears with some further description and the instruction to check...something. Ms. Hauser walks past the board and a car up on a ramp, stopping as she reaches Veronica's side. They both watch as Clemmons uses bolt cutters to cut the padlocks from the doors of the lockers. CLEMMONS: This is not how I thought I'd be spending my evening. He completes the cutting and lays the bolt cutter on top of the lockers. He opens the last locker he freed and searches it. Nothing. He tries the next one. He pulls out a wad of cash. He removes the rubber band from around it and counts through the money. As he does, he comes across a fifty dollar bill. On the back is written: "Nancy 555-0250." CLEMMONS: It's a fifty dollar bill with Nancy written on it. Veronica's eyes widen. CLEMMONS: But there's only about three thousand here. MS. HAUSER: What? Well, they probably hid the rest of it somewhere else, right? Veronica is puzzled. She glances down at another bank of lockers, ones which have not had the bolt cutters applied to them. The doors on those are padlocked too, except for one. She looks back at Clemmons, who has just pulled out a plastic bag filled with white pills from the same locker from which he took the money. CLEMMONS: Or spent it already. Let me see that class list. Ms. Hauser hands him the list. CLEMMONS: Locker... He temporarily shuts the door to check the number. CLEMMONS: Nineteen. He consults the list. CLEMMONS: Eduardo Orozco. VERONICA: Is he a freshman? CLEMMONS: Senior. Goes by the name of Thumper. Veronica looks thoughtful. Cut to a little later. Clemmons and Ms. Hauser are still searching lockers. Ms. Hauser pulls what looks like a paddle out of one of the lockers. (It could be Thumper's locker, but it's uncertain.) MS. HAUSER: I don't even want to know what he uses this for. VERONICA: Can I see that for a second? [SCENE_BREAK] She hands it to Veronica. Very neatly etched onto the paddle are numbers and letters: XCM-085 • DSI-808 • DOP-485 • TYR-009 • RRTS-110 • PTI-048 • RTI-248 • CMM-555 • LYMIUM-1 • RNT-549 • JHF-963 • KNL-295 • HTP-306 • RBC-301 • NCX-264 • MIV-825 • SFI-729 • NVM-423 • BOK-173 • RGM-281 • LGC-842 • UDX-701 • WIA-825 • MJA-293 • MickL-288 • NDL-915 • QU-862 •WYU-371 • RTSC-630 • MQG-636 • MGXQ-704 • NLC-472 • ?WX-824 • QU-816 • GYL-773 • VRK-805 • NTL-846 • JIW-152 • NRQ-592 • SLTR-625 • NW?-808 • NOD-634 • JPWQ-746 • RT? • ?-385 • NPF-168 • VRY-371 • NTS-481 • GRB-645 • NTK-733 • KRK-786 • NRT-442 • QYC-824 • NTN-858 • XHD-352 • KRY? • WTZ-363 • HGW-332 • XNTK-552 • 112-6837 • RET 126 • 564-581 • LPOS-508 •MKX-688 • 699-PCF • ZXC-506 • JOW-PC? • ?40-OLO • KRN-852 • 4RT-Y88 • TTRE-786 • 243-OKPL • 854-8876 • 789-655 • 8554-PE • 4098-ICO • QWQ-PLKB • RXS-? • M-FEPO • YUI-690 • LADY-654 • KES-9901 • 334J-098 • NGTO-65 • FERD-997 • DOOI-655 • MNK-055 • POP-POO • ROB-? • ?HOPS • MRR-HKRS • DCO-OPG • JMO-6424 • 545-IOPF • HETY-956 • XCV-P15 • SZM-OPS • 4590-98 • 756-4506 • IZK-? • ?06-002 • 062-MGK • TXC-597 • MVM-PLO • RKF-UIQ • 5789-QJG • VMB-MNN • VMK-? • NUR-878 • 325-2549 • 327-KQ? • ?JG • RKC-0? • XCE-093 • GHEN-877 • XKD-5567 • IWS-RCT •634M-IOP • GSFE-685 • 409-6308 • KEMG-ME • NOKO-? • ?HBT1 • NA? • ?PK-MUD1 • NEM-1445 • JJJ-ROR • JRJ-5475 • LKKE-JKE • 890-38K • KKW-4U83 • LKJ-0527 • KYR? • QW4-TW? • ?6 • OIU-2341 • IUY-9060 • RTY-8501 • SED-6584 • 838-PU76 • OIU-479 • WER-3008 • GRJ-2723 • AAJ-08? • ?DFB • QQQ-344 • 2WT-0987 • 111-WSA5 • 22Q-DF2 • XFG-8618 • SDF-576 • 234-RET • GAZ-655 • LKM-? • ?87 • KKK-587 • JHG-618 • OFP-6741 • VCX-4221 • JNY-5540 • GOS-8323 [Note: these are hard to read and are best approximations.] MS. HAUSER: If only they'd put that kind of effort into their schoolwork. Veronica is intent on examining the paddle. Clemmons notices that she has it and reaches for it. CLEMMONS: I'll take that. The teachers leave and Veronica watches them go. EXT - NHS - NIGHT. Thumper has his stuffed snake. He walks along proudly, holding the head. As he passes a little girl inside the ball pit looking out, he shoves it in her face with a hiss, causing her to scream and fall back into the balls. He grins as he walks on. He does the same to a couple of girls as he walks past them and they run off. He pauses as he heads for the exit. Clemmons is waiting for him with two security guards. Clemmons stares at him. THUMPER: What? Clemmons doesn't respond and Thumper starts to lose his bravado, swallowing hard. INT - NHS, CLEMMONS OFFICE - NIGHT. Veronica enters. VERONICA VOICEOVER: It was a bummer when Clemmons took my keys. Of course, it made the twenty bucks I dropped having them copied a sound investment. Veronica goes straight to a box on Clemmons' desk. She picks up the paddle which lies at the top of the box. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Mrs. Hauser may have seen an ill-conceived cutting board. I saw tagging. I saw code. VERONICA: License plates. Veronica heads out, taking the paddle. INT - NHS, ADMINISTRATION OFFICE - NIGHT. Veronica goes to the photocopier. She opens it and finds a single sheet of paper already in there. She turns it over and it is questions 5-8 of a test, obviously the second page. In a slight prop faux-pas, when she brings it closer to read, it has turned into page one of the test. It reads: "Health Test - Alcohol and Alcoholism. Ms. Hauser. Health Class 3rd Period. 1. When a person takes a drink, the alcohol first enters the person's stomach, and then 20% passes through the lining of the stomach into the bloodstream. The rest of the alcohol moves to the [choices] small intestine, bloodstream, liver, kidneys." Veronica smiles knowingly and shakes her head. She folds what is now magically two sheets of paper. She puts the paddle on the photocopier and copies it. INT - NHS, HALLWAY - NIGHT. As Veronica strides along, Jackie exits the girls' bathroom. VERONICA: Great news. You didn't steal the Senior Trip money. JACKIE: Good to know. VERONICA: Hey, I'm about to watch Mrs. Hauser squirm in her own personal hell. If you're not doing anything... Veronica gives a come hither face and starts to walk on. Jackie smiles slightly and follows. INT - NHS, HEALTH CLASSROOM - NIGHT. Madison and J.B. are there with Clemmons and Ms. Hauser. MADISON: Great. What kind of senior trip can we have with $3,000? Veronica and Jackie enter. VERONICA: Look who I found. Miss Trashy-Trash. We marked your words before, and I don't know if you know this, but they formed this, like... She uses her hands to make a ball. VERONICA: ...totally false accusation. I know - yikes. I figured you might welcome the opportunity to apologize. The silence is temporarily deafening. Madison is unrepentant and looks away. Ms. Hauser stares at them defiantly before speaking. MS. HAUSER: [rushed, as if all one word] You didn't steal the money. I'm sorry. Dismissively, she turns to Clemmons. VERONICA: Totally worth it. Jackie laughs. VERONICA: Oh, I found this in a copy machine. Veronica pulls out what is now a single folded sheet from her bag. She unfolds it and holds it up. This time it looks like the third page as there are only three questions and no header at the top. She places it on the desk between her and Ms. Hauser. Ms. Hauser leans forward to grab it, a look of consternation on her face. MS. HAUSER: Where did you get this? This is my exam. VERONICA: [slowly, emphasising each word] In the copy machine. She turns to Jackie. VERONICA: Am I still speaking English? JACKIE: Mm-hmm. CLEMMONS: What were you doing at the copy machine? VERONICA: [quickly and lightly] Making coffee. MS. HAUSER: This exam is locked up in my filing cabinet. VERONICA: Not anymore. The only question now is who had access. Who knows your code to the copy machine? MS. HAUSER: Just my student aid. Veronica and Ms. Hauser both look over at J.B. VERONICA: Perhaps when he borrowed your keys... J.B.: She's trying to sabotage me. I am, like, this close to beating her out for the Kane Scholarship. This is just like the stuff that she does. She planted it. VERONICA: And for my next trick, I will take J.B. into the hallway, whisper a few magic words, and when we return, he'll confess. Veronica holds out her hands, fingers spread, magician-style. J.B.: Yeah, yeah, that'll happen. VERONICA: Don't oversell it, J.B. People will think you're a mark. Step right this way. Veronica indicates the hallway and moves out of the room. J.B. casts a look at Ms. Hauser and then follows. INT - NHS, HALLWAY - NIGHT. VERONICA: Pretty bold move, making a copy of Mrs. Hauser's test right under her nose. J.B.: Wow, yeah, I confess. They stop by a bin. Veronica sets her laptop on top of it. VERONICA: But, you knew she'd be distracted, didn't you? You knew there'd be streakers at precisely four p.m. Didn't you? She opens the laptop. VERONICA: Did you forget that I took pictures of last year's Triton initiation? Veronica turns the laptop so J.B. can see the screen. She has a picture of Duncan and the MIT guy shaking hands at the end of the initiation ceremony in 112 "Clash of the Tritons." J.B. is clearly identifiable in the background, shaking the hand of another initiate. VERONICA: I made a promise to a certain Triton that his secret was safe, but...he's long gone. J.B.: Uh, that still, uh, doesn't prove - She slams the laptop shut. VERONICA: I'll bet if we check the copy machine log, it'll tell us that copies were made with Mrs. Hauser's code say 4:03, 4:04 p.m. Should I call them over? J.B.: You're bluffing. The copy machine can't do that. VERONICA: Well, here's your choice - you can call my bluff and we'll all find out exactly what the copy machine can do. Of course, if you choose that option, I'm posting this Tritons photo on your homepage. I've heard what happens to Tritons who reveal their secrets. J.B.: I don't have a homepage. VERONICA: You will. Then, there's option two - confession. Reveal your secret powers. Veronica smirks as J.B. considers his options. He heads back to the classroom. INT - NHS, HEALTH CLASSROOM - CONTINUING. J.B. enters. Veronica follows. They take up the places where they stood before. J.B.: I stole the test. VERONICA: Ta-daaaaaa! Jackie laughs. MS. HAUSER: Did she threaten you, J.B.? Don't let her scare you. If you didn't steal that test, then you shouldn't - J.B.: No. No. I stole it. As Ms. Hauser is talking, Veronica notices a footprint in the glitter on Ms. Hauser's desk. She looks up at the ceiling. Veronica takes a waste paper bin, puts it upturned onto the desk and climbs up. MS. HAUSER: [urgently] What are you doing? Get down from there! Veronica tests the ceiling tile. CLEMMONS: Miss Mars... The tile lifts up. Veronica reaches in and pulls out an envelope. VERONICA: This isn't a sweater. She looks inside and shows that it's full of money. She gives a big gasp. VERONICA: All right, cash! How'd you know? CLEMMONS: How did you know to look up there? VERONICA: I have to say... Veronica jumps down from the desk. VERONICA: I grossly underestimated the usefulness of glitter. Look at that. Practically a perfect footprint. Clemmons looks down at the desk. The footprint is clearly of a high-heeled shoe. JACKIE: Ah, shouldn't be too hard to find. There are not many people wear heels to a carnival. Clemmons looks down at Ms. Hauser's feet, covered by her trousers. CLEMMONS: Would you mind lifting up your foot, Mrs. Hauser? Ms. Hauser laughs in disbelief and stares at him. He holds her gaze. She looks back at Veronica and Jackie who smile expectantly. Madison and J.B. watch on in shock. Ms. Hauser lets out a scoff and lifts up her foot. The pattern on the bottom of her shoe, which is covered in glitter, matches the footprint exactly. MS. HAUSER: You know, I've been walking in that glitter all day. I mean, you could see, it's everywhere around my desk. VERONICA: So your shoes were very fancy when you were skimming off the top of the cashbox. My guess is Mrs. Hauser helped herself to a few bills long before she ever gave me the money. Ms. Hauser looks increasingly uncomfortable as she searches for her next words. CLEMMONS: Maybe we should take this into my office. Veronica hands the money to Clemmons. Ms. Hauser starts to flounce out of the classroom. Clemmons follows. CLEMMONS: This would be a prime example of why I consider the advice of some of my students. He looks back at Veronica, who smiles proudly. He disappears after Ms. Hauser. Veronica turns to Madison. VERONICA: Buck up, Maddie. Senior trip is back on, sister. Six grand - we're Magic Mountain bound. Oh, you know there's a ride called the Viper, right? Isn't that, like, your mother ship? Jackie giggles and even J.B. smothers a chuckle. Veronica and Jackie head out of the room. JACKIE: [laughing] Oh, Mrs. Hauser, Thumper, J.B. Is there anyone here that isn't a thief or a cheat? They leave a very disgruntled Madison and J.B. EXT - NHS, CAR PARK - NIGHT. It's later as Madison has made her way to the car park and is talking to a couple of girls who are leaning against one of the cars. GIRL: She's so totally lame. Dick, leaving the carnival, comes upon them. DICK: Mad-i-son. What you up to, girl? Feel like heading to my car for a quickie? MADISON: I've moved on to older men, Dick. Fewer quickies, more longies. She pats his face condescendingly and walks away, leaving him belittled and unhappy. He walks on until he reaches a leg balancing against the bumper of his car, smoothing down a stocking. He halts. It's an older woman, sexily dressed. MILF: The bad thing about thigh-highs. DICK: Yeah, there's nothing bad about thigh-highs. She drops her leg and faces him. MILF: I'm waiting to pick up my daughter. DICK: You mean, your sister? MILF: I mean my stepdaughter. I tend to marry older men, then I mess around with the younger ones. They both laugh. DICK: Nice. MILF: You know, I have about another half-hour to kill. I get the feeling that you're fantastic at killing time. DICK: Yeah! Dick, unable to believe his luck, races to open the car's door. They climb in and shut the door. Behind them, Logan and Hannah are also leaving the carnival. As they walk, their hands keep bumping together. LOGAN: Would you stop trying to hold my hand? Hannah laughs at his presumption. LOGAN: Save it for the date, will ya? They stop at the edge of the car park. HANNAH: My ride's picking me up here. LOGAN: So I guess I'll see you Saturday. HANNAH: Mm-hmm. LOGAN: I'll call you. HANNAH: Okay. Hannah goes to move away. Logan pulls her back and kisses her. She looks at him in surprise. LOGAN: You know, just in case you don't kiss on the first date. She smiles and he moves in to kiss her again. They kiss until the lights of a car flash across their faces and a car horn sounds. Hannah pulls away and looks in the direction of the car. She walks towards it. Logan rushes to open the car door. LOGAN: Allow me. She climbs in and addresses the driver. HANNAH: Hey, daddy. Daddy is Dr. Tom Griffith. He looks grumpy but that is nothing compared to the shock he gets when Logan crouches down and comes into view. Logan gives him a little wave, glances at Hannah and then back at Griffith, smiling all the while. Griffith is frozen as Logan walks away. Back in the middle of the car park, the door to Dick's car bursts open. Dick backs out quickly, spitting as he goes. DICK: What the hell was that? He turns back to face the woman-who-isn't. He points to Milf's crotch. DICK: What is that? MILF: [gruffly] What do you call yours? Dick spits again. Across the car park, Logan is watching. Next to him, sitting on the bonnet of another car, are Mac and Beaver, holding up flashlights. BEAVER: Whoo! Get her, Dick! Dick, furious, heads straight for his brother, his intent clear. Mac slides off the bonnet and Logan, looking concerned, heads towards them to break it up. Dick slams Beaver down against the car and pulls back his fist. BEAVER: You hit me and you'll suffer worse, I promise you. Dick hesitates for a moment but seems to find his resolve and readies himself. Beaver smiles at him maliciously. BEAVER: [quietly] You remember Sally? The fist opens and Dick looks genuinely frightened. He puts down his arm and lets Beaver up. Dick stares at his brother as he starts to back away. He spits once more, wiping his mouth as he passes Logan. LOGAN: Would that you could spit out the memories. Dick looks at him, then spits again and storms away. INT - MI - NIGHT. Keith is a little drunk. He is standing in front of Terrence, giving a display. KEITH: You knocked the hell out of that ball. I'm in the stands, I'm climbing over people, I'm under the seats, and by the time I got it, I was covered in old beer and mustard and bruised and battered. Keith collapses onto the couch as Terrence laughs. Both men have taken off their jackets and are relaxed. KEITH: It is not easy being a fan. TERRENCE: Three career home runs and you got one of them. Unbelievable. Oh...I think I need to call a cab. I'll come pick up my car tomorrow. Terrence pushes himself off the couch and grabs his jacket from the coat stand. He turns to face Keith again as he puts on his jacket. TERRENCE: Uh, I just want to be sure. You, uh...you taking my case? KEITH: That depends. Is there anything else you need to tell me? TERRENCE: I can't think of anything. KEITH: Then I'm afraid I can't. TERRENCE: Why's that? KEITH: Because you're not coming clean with me. TERRENCE: What? I've told you everything. Keith, still wearing a silly grin, shakes his head. He fiddles with the laptop on the small table. Terrence sits down next to him. Keith sits back as the recording of Terrence and Lamb starts. TERRENCE: [on tape] I never bet on baseball. LAMB: [offscreen on tape] I got a guy in a holding cell back there, says you did favours for gentlemen who bet extensively on baseball. Terrence sighs heavily. Keith turns off the recording. Terrence leans back against the wall, his eyes closed. TERRENCE: Is there anything you don't know? Leslie was at my place when two goons broke in. Fitzpatricks. You know 'em? KEITH: I do. TERRENCE: Well, they were trying to collect some money, and Leslie overheard something that would ruin me. No endorsements, no Hall of Fame. She said if I ever left her, she'd sell her story to a magazine. KEITH: What could possibly be that bad? Terrence looks away, reluctant to talk. KEITH: Well, then I guess there's nothing else to say but good night. TERRENCE: [frustrated] I have a gambling problem. KEITH: I'm aware of that. TERRENCE: I got in pretty deep. I had to do some things that I'm not proud of. KEITH: Terrence, we can dance around this all night. TERRENCE: I threw a game. Some of the light goes out of Keith's eyes. TERRENCE: It was game four of the ALCS. Three-run homer Baylor hit off me. Seventy mile-per-hour curveball. Didn't break. Pure meat. Keith is lost in his own memories. TERRENCE: Leslie heard all about it. I mean, that pitch, it erased millions in debt. That's when baseball players, they didn't make what they make today. KEITH: [softly] I was almost at that game. Keith closes the laptop. KEITH: But Veronica gets the chicken pox. Keith gathers up the laptop and holds it close to his chest. He gets up and walks to the desk. KEITH: I'm glued to the TV with my jersey and my... Keith waves his hand. KEITH: ...foam finger. A grown man. Pretty silly, huh. You know what's even more silly? The superstitious fan in me. I thought we lost that game because I wasn't there. I even felt a little guilty, like I let you guys down. Terrence sighs and gets up from the couch leadenly. KEITH: I thought, "there's always next year." You guys never made it back. Terrence reaches the door. KEITH: I'm $50 an hour, plus expenses. Terrence looks back, stunned. TERRENCE: You'll take my case? Why? KEITH: You're Terrence Cook. You wouldn't kill a bus full of kids. I still believe that. Terrence drops his head and walks out of the office. EXT - NHS, CAR PARK - DAY. A lime green Impala pulls into the car park. Veronica is waiting. She walks towards the car as Weevil gets out. VERONICA: Got a funny story for you. I call it "How Weevil got his new car." WEEVIL: Well, are there pictures? 'Cause I'm a little slow. VERONICA: Remember that whole thing with Nancy's number on the fifty dollar bill? Yeah, I made it up. Weevil smiles and shakes his head. WEEVIL: You got some skill, girl. VERONICA: The sheriff let your buddy Thumper go. The bag of pills you planted? Ephedrine. There is one thing I can't figure out, and it's pretty much driving me insane. I know you broke Thumper's lock, just took off your own and put it on Thumper's locker, but I don't know how you did it. Where did you hide the cashbox? WEEVIL: The two places you looked for it. The cashbox was in my niece's backpack. FLASHBACK: EXT - NHS - DAY. At the carnival, Weevil's arms can be seen putting the cashbox in Ophelia's bag and zipping it shut. WEEVIL: [offscreen] Then she went into the ball pit, stashed the box. END FLASHBACK. EXT - NHS, CAR PARK - CONTINUING. WEEVIL: We got the third degree from you, like I didn't know that was coming. VERONICA: Then she went back in and got the box. Weevil nods. VERONICA: While I was having the ball pit drained, you were planting cash and ephedrine in Thumper's locker. FLASHBACK: INT - NHS, AUTOSHOP - NIGHT. Weevil sits at a desk and writes "Nancy" on the back of a fifty dollar bill. WEEVIL: Well, I had to go back later and add the incriminating fifty dollar bill. END FLASHBACK. EXT - NHS, CAR PARK - CONTINUING. VERONICA: So, when you rented The Thomas Crown Affair, McQueen or Brosnan? Weevil just grins. WEEVIL: Is it your undying love for me or just good old-fashioned lust? Veronica looks confuses and puts her hand to her ear. VERONICA: ¿Qué? WEEVIL: That kept you from turning me in. Veronica puts her finger on her lip and thinks for a moment. She points at him. VERONICA: Love. Her finger returns to her lip and then she points again. VERONICA: Of rollercoasters. Weevil chuckles. VERONICA: And hatred of anything that requires me to tie a sweater over my shoulders and be at sea with my classmates. Nothing to do with you. They smile. End.

Plan: A: the money; Q: What is in the cash box that Veronica must find to clear her name? A: the senior class trip; Q: What is the money for? A: Logan; Q: Who flirts with Hannah? A: the sophomore daughter; Q: What is Hannah's age? A: the bridge witness; Q: What is Dr. Griffith's job? A: Sheriff Lamb; Q: Who accuses Terrence of planting the explosive device on the bus? A: the explosive device; Q: What is Terrence accused of planting on the bus? A: a cell phone; Q: What did Terrence use to detonate the explosive device? A: Keith; Q: Who does Terrence hire to prove his innocence? Summary: At the winter carnival, the cash box with the money for the senior class trip is stolen and Veronica must find it to clear her name. Logan flirts with Hannah, the sophomore daughter of the bridge witness Dr. Griffith. Terrence is accused by Sheriff Lamb of planting the explosive device on the bus and detonating it with a cell phone. He hires Keith to prove his innocence, and reveals that he is a gambling addict.

[EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [EXTREME CLOSE-UP] (Camera view of the tight weave of material. Camera pulls out and we see a tie. Camera pulls out even more and we see ... [GRISSOM] (Grissom stands in front of the mirror trying to put on his bow tie. We watch him struggle with it for a moment.) [INT. BALLROOM LOBBY - NIGHT] (Through the mirror's reflection, we see Catherine walk over to him.) Catherine: What are you doing? (Grissom picks up the step-by-step illustrated instruction sheet for how to tie his tie.) Grissom: (frustrated) I'm going insane. I don't understand this diagram. Catherine: (sighs and shakes her head) You don't need a diagram. (Grissom starts fiddling with his tie again.) Catherine: You need a woman. (From behind, Catherine takes over and ties Grissom's tie for him. Catherine: I'm looking forward to your speech. Sheriff Rory Atwater: (o.s.) ... it wasn't greatly appreciated at the time. (The audience chuckles and applauds.) [INT. HOTEL - MAIN BALLROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (Sheriff Rory Atwater is at the podium concluding his speech. He toasts Robert Covallo who is sitting at the table. We also note that Sofia Curtis is sitting next to him.) Sheriff Rory Atwater: But what I think A.D. Covallo will enjoy the most is no longer having to lie about how much work he has to do. Enjoy your retirement, Bob. (He looks down and we note that Grissom is busy writing something on a dinner napkin.) Sheriff Rory Atwater: But seriously, folks ... appointing the new Assistant Director for the Crime Lab is not a task I take lightly. I believe in promoting from within. I believe in rewarding years of dedication and devotion to this department. I believe in Conrad Ecklie. (The audience applauds. Conrad Ecklie sits at the same table near Grissom.) (Conrad Ecklie nods and smiles at the audience. Grissom's pager beeps.) Sheriff Rory Atwater: For a proper introduction, I'd like to turn to his good friend and colleague of many years ... (Grissom checks his pager.) Sheriff Rory Atwater: ... Supervisor Gil Grissom. (The audience applauds. Catherine glances at Grissom who is reading his pager.) Catherine: Gil ... Grissom: I got a 419. Catherine: Don't even think about it. Grissom: Swing's tapped out. I'm the back-up. (Catherine grits her teeth at Grissom. Ecklie watches them. Grissom hands the dinner napkin to Catherine.) Here ... you give my speech. (Catherine's eyes widen. Grissom turns to Ecklie and gives him a thumb's up as he gets up to leave the table.) Grissom: Good luck, Conrad. (Ecklie watches Grissom leave the table. Grissom turns to Sheriff Rory Atwater on the stage. He points to his pager.) Grissom: (mouths silently) Homicide Sheriff Rory Atwater: Gil ... (Grissom walks quickly out of the ballroom.) Sheriff Rory Atwater: (to Catherine) What's going on? (Catherine looks down at the dinner napkin and opens it where she reads: "WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT CONRAD ECKLIE?") (Catherine sighs. Rory Atwater motions to her.) Sheriff Rory Atwater: You want to help me out up here? (Catherine takes a deep breath and stands up.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL/CASINO - LOBBY -- NIGHT] (Grissom walks into the casino carrying his kit.) Officer: Hey, Griss ... what's with the monkey suit? Grissom: I was at a funeral across the street. Officer: At a casino? My condolences. Scene's in the east penthouse. Gotta use the VIP elevator. (He hands Grissom the card key.) Grissom: Thanks. (The officer leaves. The elevator bell dings and the doors open. [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL/CASINO - ELEVATOR - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (Grissom steps into the elevator. The slides the card key into the security lock. The doors close.) (The elevator bell dings and the doors open again. Sofia Curtis walks in. She greets Grissom with familiarity.) Sofia Curtis: Hey. Grissom: Hello. (The elevator doors close.) Grissom: What floor did you want? Sofia Curtis: Where do you think I'm going? Grissom: I wouldn't know. Sofia Curtis: You don't recognize me. Grissom: Apparently not. Sofia Curtis: In the lab, I usually wear my hair up. (He glances at her, then recognizes her.) Grissom: Oh, yeah ... You're pulling in when I'm pulling out. Sofia Curtis: Sofia Curtis. Grissom: CSI-three, day shift. You work for Ecklie. Sofia Curtis: As of tonight, so do you. (The elevator bell dings and the door opens.) [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL - EAST PENTHOUSE - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (They both step out into the penthouse where party guests and officers are. Brass walks up to them. He leads them to the room at the end of the hall.) Brass: Hey, Gil ... hey, Sofie. Sorry to drag you away from the chicken cordon bleu. It's the McKinley High homecoming. The dance is downstairs, but the cool kids' party is in here. (He opens the doors and leads them into the rooms.) [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL - EAST PENTHOUSE - LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (They look around.) Sofia Curtis: This place makes the rain man suite at Caesar's look like my condo. Grissom: These rooms are just for whales and royalty. What's up? Brass: We're running down the VIP host -- see who's got it tonight. (He leads them to another room inside where the body is.) Brass: Okay, paramedics pronounced, left the scene undisturbed. Name is Nicole Jensen, 17. Coroner's en route. I'm gonna talk to the MTV generation. (Brass leaves. Sofia Curtis starts to walk into the room.) Grissom: Where's your kit? Sofia Curtis: I sent a uniform to bring it up. (She walks around the body and sees the vomit on the floor near her mouth.) Sofia Curtis: Teenager abuses drugs and/or booze ... (she kneels down and looks at Grissom who is also kneeling on the other side of the body.) There's a news flash. (She notes the bruises on the body's neck.) Sofia Curtis: Contusions on her neck. Grissom: And the position suggests she was grabbed from behind. (Sofia glances at the red wrist band: A NIGHT TO REMEMBER.) Sofia Curtis: (reads) "A night to remember." Grissom: A night to forget. FADE TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL - EAST PENTHOUSE - LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT] (David kneels next to the body and writes his notes on a clipboard. [EXT. OLYMPIA HOTEL - EAST PENTHOUSE - BALCONY -- NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] Brass exits the room and steps out into the balcony where Grissom and Sofia are. Above them, are sounds of a helicopter leaving.) (Sofia is changing out of her evening gown and into a pair of overalls. Grissom is removing his tie.) Brass: Okay ... so I talked to the VIP host. The room was checked out to Charlie Macklin. Grissom: It's his casino. Brass: Yeah, it's for his daughter, Janelle. She's having an after party with her and her friends. Grissom: Oh, off the streets and out of trouble. Brass: Best laid plans. Grissom: So what's the daughter's story? Brass: You know, I don't know. We haven't seen her yet. We're still looking. (Grissom and Brass turn and find Sofia in overalls. Brass turns and leaves the balcony. She looks at Grissom, turns and pulls out her evening gown from her overalls.) Sofia Curtis: I can barely move in this dress and we haven't cleared the bathroom yet, so there it is. Don't worry, I'm wearing underwear. As far as you know. [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL - EAST PENTHOUSE - LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (Camera shutter snaps several times as Grissom takes photos of the body.) David Phillips: Liver temp is 97.2. She's been dead less than two hours. (In the next room, Sofia finds something.) Sofia Curtis: Banana peel ... g-string ... (she lifts it up) ... scared of that. (Grissom turns back to the body.) David Phillips: Ligature marks on both of her wrists. Some kind of adhesive residue, too. (Quick flashback to: The kidnappers/attackers wrap thick tape around her wrists. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: So, she was bound? (David turns the body over and notes the bruise on the face.) David Phillips: Marked impression on her left cheek. (Grissom snaps a photo.) Grissom: Maybe some sort of circular device pressed against her face? (In the next room, Sofia snaps photos of the items on the foot table.) Sofia Curtis: No beer or liquor. Just water, yogurt, and OJ. (Grissom looks up as Sofia continues to mutter to herself.) Sofia Curtis: Mixers, not for drinks ... maybe for drugs. Right ph in the stomach speeds the buzz. (She looks around the room.) I think there's narco around here somewhere. Grissom: (loudly) A-a-are you talking to me? (Sofia snaps more photos of the food table.) Sofia Curtis: No. Grissom: Do you always process like this? Sofia Curtis: Like what? (She snaps another photo.) Grissom: With your mouth. (She looks at Grissom.) Sofia Curtis: Whenever I meet someone new, I always say their name out loud a few times. Keeps a picture in my head. Grissom: Hm ... I thought that's why we had cameras. FLASH TO: [FLASHBACK] (Nicole Jensen staggers into the room. She doubles over and vomits on the floor.) Miranda: (V.O.) So, Nikki comes running in and starts laughing at the carpet. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (Brass is interviewing Miranda, one of the party-goers.) Miranda: You know, hurling, blowing chunks, vomiting. Brass: I got it, Miranda. I get the picture. I know what it means. Miranda: The others came in, and, uh ... someone tried CPR, I guess. Didn't work. We called 911. Brass: So, uh, you tight with Nikki? Miranda: (scoffs) God, no. Her dad was a freelance limo driver. I mean, you have to have a felony to get that job. Brass: (chuckles) How would you know that? Miranda: Everybody knows that. The guy was an ex-kneebreaker for the old mob. You ever see Casino? The movie? Brass: Yeah, sure, yeah. Miranda: Whatever. The guy Joe Pesci played. Brass: Tony "The Ant" Spilotro. Miranda: Well, he and Nikki's dad were friends. Brass: Oh, yeah? Miranda: In real life. Real lowlifes. That girl was kryptonite to me. I'd be lying if I said any different. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL/CASINO - MAIN FLOOR - NIGHT] (Catherine and Nick walk across the casino floor.) Nick: Kids have been going in and out of the suite all night, but the front desk only issued card keys to seven. Brass has five of them upstairs ... (He looks at his notes.) Uh, Janelle Macklin and Sean Paland are unaccounted for, so I'll check the casino. Catherine: I thought you were going to process the scene with Grissom. Nick: I was. He said he had it covered. Sofia Curtis is up there with him. Catherine: Right ... Ecklie's right hand. Nick: Hmm? Catherine: Ever do a case with her? Nick: Uh-uh. Hey, I heard Grissom stuck you with his speech. Catherine: A napkin is not a speech. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL/CASINO - SECURITY ROOM - NIGHT] (Catherine talks with the security officer monitoring the cameras.) Catherine: I'm going to need to see everybody who went in or out of the east penthouse since check-in, and that includes stairwells and service entrances. Kenny: You know, that's Janelle Macklin's suite. Catherine: Yeah, I know. Her father owns the casino. Kenny: Okay ... (Kenny works the keyboard to bring up the video.) Catherine: Dance is still going strong. Kenny: That's the beauty of high school in Las Vegas. Homecoming in a casino, dance can go all night. (Close up of: The dance floor.) Security Camera legend: BALLROOM M-4 CAMERA 1 [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL/CASINO - BALLROOM M-4 - NIGHT] (Nick walks in with Sean Paland through the ballroom.) Sean Paland: I've been down here dancing for hours. Ask anybody. Nick: Why don't you come over here and talk to me for a second? Sean Paland: Come on, man! Nick: What, you need to tell your date? Sean Paland: I came stag. Nick: Come here. Sean Paland: If I want a date, I'll get one in there. You know how many couples break up at homecoming? I looked it up. It's like ten percent. It's staggering. Nick: Hm ... you hang out with Nikki a lot? Sean Paland: Please -- the girl's a scarf. Always hanging on the neck of anyone with loot. Nick: Is that what was she doing up in the P. Diddy suite with your buddies? Sean Paland: Guess everybody wanted in on that party. And Nikki wasn't on the list. (Quick flashback to: Janelle Mackie and a group of kids are in the elevator doors. Nicole Jensen runs up to her as they start to close.) Nicole Jensen: Hey, wait, Janelle ... Janelle, wait! (Janelle turns around.) Janelle Mackie: Look, Nikki, it's no big deal. You're not missing anything. Nicole Jensen: That's easy for you to say. C'mon, Janelle, we're seniors. This is my last homecoming -- please! (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Sean Paland: Janelle's always taking in strays. Nick: Yeah, Janelle ... do you know where Janelle is now? Sean Paland: I have no idea. You know, when I busted outta there, she was still up there chillin' with the rest of them. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- NIGHT] (Robbins is going over the body as he audio tapes his report.) Robbins: Standard SAE kit was collected. Physical finding of sexual activity. Unable to determine if consensual or rape. Collected heart blood sample. Preliminary tox indicates psilocybin, MDMA, and THC in the system. (Flash to: Robbins collects from threads from her nose.) Robbins: (V.O.) Green-colored fiber was collected from the nasal passages ... (End of flash. Resume to present.) Robbins: ... to be forwarded to trace evidence for analysis. Vomitus mass was found in the throat and lungs and there was petecchial hemorrhaging of the lower eyelids. Preliminary C.O.D. appears to be mechanical asphyxia from aspiration of gastric content as a result of acute drug intoxication. Albert Robbins, M.E., Employee number 228369. (Robbins removes the recorder from his ear.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL/CASINO - EAST PENTHOUSE -- BATHROOM - DAY] (Sofia Curtis lifts the lid from the toilet bowl. She reaches into the bowl and pulls out a bag of drugs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL/CASINO - EAST PENTHOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Grissom is in the living room looking at the floor where the body used to be.) Sofia Curtis: Collected seven used condoms from two bedrooms -- not a record in my book. (Sofia walks into the room and puts her kit down.) Sofia Curtis: Fact that the victim wrists were bound suggests possible s*x games. Also pulled a plastic baggie from a toilet containing what looks like ground-up mushrooms, probably not the kind you put on pizza. Could be the source of the psilocybin. (She looks at Grissom.) One of those kids is still holding. (She closes her kit and stands up.) I'm gonna let Brass know. (She looks at Grissom who is not paying attention to her.) Sofia Curtis: That time I was talking to you. Grissom: What? (Grissom turns.) Sorry. I was, uh, treating it like white noise. (Grissom looks down at the vomit spatter.) Sofia Curtis: What are you seeing? Grissom: Chicken cordon bleu. Sofia Curtis: Okay, there's no evidence of that meal anywhere here, and Ecklie always said you had an odd sense of humor, so that would make this a joke. (Grissom stands up.) Grissom: Not really. If you're on your feet when you're throwing up, the vomit goes everywhere. (Quick flash of: A woman vomiting.) Grissom: (V.O.) The higher you are, the wider the splash, right? (The vomit spatters on the floor.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Grissom: But ... (Grissom kneels down.) this vomit is confined to one specific area. (Sofia kneels down also.) So she was probably lying down when she was throwing up. Sofia Curtis: Maybe unconscious. Grissom: Or already dead. Sofia Curtis: Vomit could've been forced out by CPR compressions. Grissom: But that doesn't explain the bruise on her cheek. Sofia Curtis: Or the green fibers in her nose. (They look around the room for the source of the green fibers and sees the pillow on the couch. They both walk over to the touch. Grissom picks up the pillow and finds the vomit stain on the pillow.) Grissom: Well ... may have started here. (Quick flash to: Nicole Jansen struggles on the couch.) Nikki Jensen: Let go of me! Man's Voice: Shut up! Nikki Jensen: Stop it! Stop it! Man's Voice: Shut your mouth. Man's Voice: There you go! WOMan's Voice: Quiet! (Close-up of: The pillow is removed and there's a button impression on Nicole's cheek.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL/CASINO - EAST PENTHOUSE - HALLWAY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Brass steps out into the hallway where the party attendees are waiting. He walks up to a young man and grabs him by the arm.) Brass: (to the young man) Come on. (to the rest) You're all done - (to the young man) Let's go. Young Man: What do you mean? Brass: We know you're dealing drugs. Nikki Jensen's dead because of you. Young Man: No, okay, wait, okay, I don't even do ... I don't even drink, okay? You don't ... you don't want me, you... you want Rex. (The Young Man turns and looks over at someone in the hallway. Brass turns and looks at the sleek-looking young man.) Brass: Hey, Rex. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL/CASINO - EAST PENTHOUSE - STUDY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Brass interviews Gavin.) Gavin (Rex): Look, my name is Gavin. You got my license, check it. Brass: No, no, it's "Rex," you know, as in Rx. I guess it's a lot more subtle than "drugstore," right? Gavin (Rex): I got nothing to do with drugs, my man. You already searched me. Is there anywhere else you care to look? (Gain leans forward on the desk and taps his behind.) Brass: Hey, you better save that position for later, brother. You're gonna need it, where you're going. (From the other room, the officer opens the door for Grissom. Grissom walks into the room where Brass and Gavin are.) Grissom: Is this our dealer? (Grissom puts his kit on the table.) Brass: Oh, yeah. Gavin (Rex): Get this straight, okay? I'm not a drug dealer. My dad owns seven restaurants, including one at the Bellagio and the gourmet room downstairs. I don't need drug money. Grissom: Well, maybe you just like getting your friends high. (Grissom turns and looks at Brass. Brass turns and looks at Gavin.) Brass: There's a song about that, I think. [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL/CASINO - EAST PENTHOUSE - HALLWAY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Out in the hallway, Sofia walks through the hallway as she looks at the students. She passes the small group of young men and over to the small group of young women. One of the young women has red, raw wrists. Sofia notices.) Sofia Curtis: Hold out your hand. (The girl shows Sofia her wrist.) Sofia Curtis: Duct tape residue. What do you know? [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL/CASINO - EAST PENTHOUSE - STUDY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Grissom takes out the bag with the mushrooms inside.) Grissom: You know, if the water is relatively still, submerged prints can remain for weeks, months, sometimes even years. (Grissom sets up on the desk. Brass hands him a circular trash bin.) Brass: Here you go. (Grissom puts it on the desk.) Grissom: Thank you. (Grissom picks up the spray bottle.) When we match your prints on this bag, you'll be charged with murder. (Grissom sprays the plastic bag.) (As the liquid hits the bag, the camera zooms in for a close-up - directly on a print.) [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL/CASINO - EAST PENTHOUSE - HALLWAY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Out in the hallway, Sofia has all the kids show her their wrists. One by one, each of them has duct tape residue.) [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL/CASINO - EAST PENTHOUSE - HALLWAY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] Gavin (Rex): I didn't give Nikki anything. The 'shrooms were for the room. She was diving in there with both hands, and ... Brass: Did you have s*x with her? Gavin (Rex): So what if I did? She was ... giving it away. Grissom: You tied her up and forced her down on the couch. Gavin (Rex): That wasn't me. (Grissom's phone rings. He answers it.) Grissom: Grissom. Catherine: (from phone) I just found Janelle Macklin. INTERCUT WITH: [INT. CSI - AUDIO/VISUAL LAB - DAY] (Catherine is on the phone while looking at the monitors.) Grissom: (from phone) Good. We need to talk to her right away. Catherine: That's going to be tough. TOWER EAST-VIP ELEVATOR CAMERA 1 {TIME} 10:01:40:-- (From the security camera: Two men in masks push Janelle Macklin into an elevator. They hold their guns up and look at the camera.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL/CASINO - EAST PENTHOUSE - NIGHT -- FLASHBACK] (The party in the penthouse is going on. Suddenly, the doors burst open and two men in masks carrying guns start shouting instructions to the kids.) (The girls start screaming.) Gunman: Everybody hit the floor! Now! Now! GUNMAN: Now! Now! GUNMAN: Move! Hit the floor! (End of flashback. Resume to present.) [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL/CASINO - EAST PENTHOUSE - NIGHT -- PRESENT] (Brass interviews three of the kids who attended the party.) Young Man 1: They had duct tape. They tied everyone up, and they dragged Janelle out. Brass: So how did Nikki end up dead? Young Man 2: Um ... eventually, we all ... got ourselves free. Everybody was scared, but Nikki was possessed. Miranda: She was wasted. Freaking out. (Quick flashback to: [PARTY] Nikki screams and heads for the door. One of the women stops her.) Nikki Jensen: (screams) No! I'm leaving! Miranda: Shut up! Shut up! (The Young Woman pulls her back into the room and throws her on the couch.) Young Man: Shut her up! Miranda: Friggin' 'shrooms! (Nikki struggles as the others hold her down trying to keep her quiet. Someone puts a pillow over her head.) Young Woman: Chill, will ya?! YOUNG MAN: Shut up! (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Young Man 2: We weren't trying to hurt her. Brass: Well, that's for the DA to decide. Why try to hide the kidnapping? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL/CASINO - MAIN FLOOR -- DAY] (Catherine and Sheriff Rory Atwater talk with Charlie Macklin, Janelle's father.) Charlie Macklin: I told the kids not to report it. And I told 'em not to leave the room. They were smart enough to listen. Janelle's fine. It's a game. Sheriff Rory Atwater: You know, Mr. Macklin, based on the surveillance videotape ... Charlie Macklin: I've seen it. Catherine: Your daughter looked terrified. Charlie Macklin: She does school plays. Says she wants to be an actor. At least that's the story this month. Catherine: So you think this is all an act? Daddy's little girl begging for attention. Charlie Macklin: Right on the button. Let me tell you about Janelle: I sent her to a nice prep school back east, she flunked out on purpose. I gave her a Bentley for her sweet 16, she wraps it around a tree. I've been putting up with this crap since she was a kid. I'm done. Sheriff Rory Atwater: When was the last time you actually talked to your daughter? Charlie Macklin: Yesterday, when she asked me to comp the suite. You want me to call her, fine. She never goes anywhere without her cell phone. (Charlie Macklin takes out his cell phone and dials. He puts it on speaker phone.) Digitized Voice: (from phone) We have Janelle. Wire one million U.S. Dollars to Grand Caymans National Bank, account number 489-27-63. If the money is not deposited within twenty-four hours, she dies. (Charlie Macklin hangs up and puts his phone back into his jacket.) Catherine: I take it that's not her usual greeting. If this is a game, why ask for money? She obviously doesn't need it. Charlie Macklin: I pay, she wins. You want to know why the "abductors" want the money wired to the Caymans? Sheriff Rory Atwater: Smart move. Most kidnappers do get busted at the drop. Charlie Macklin: That's where Janelle has her trust is set up. She knows how those banks work. Catherine: When Steve Wynn's daughter was kidnapped, he didn't tell the police. He went to the Mirage Casino Floor, he got 1.4 million in cash, he made the drop ... Charlie Macklin: Got his daughter back in a couple hours. Yeah, I know the story. Steve Wynn's daughter was a real victim. Janelle isn't. Sheriff Rory Atwater: Game or not, Mr. Macklin, one girl is dead your daughter is missing we're compelled to investigate here. Charlie Macklin: You do that. And when Janelle turns up, crying, saying how sorry she is, you make sure she answers for it. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- DAY] (Robbins pulls out the table from the morgue to show Bobby Jensen his daughter's body.) Robbins: Mr. Jensen, your daughter's personal effects are at the front desk. (Bobby Jensen leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY/LOCKER ROOM -- DAY] (Ecklie walks through the hallway. He stops in front of the locker room door, peers in and sees Grissom taking off his jacket.) Conrad Ecklie: Least you got your money's worth out of the rental. I just wanted to let you know, no hard feelings about you leaving the banquet. You're just ... doing your job. Grissom: Have you decided yet who's going to be the day shift supervisor? (He looks around the hallway.) Conrad Ecklie: Well, Sofia's a logical choice, but nothing's official yet. Grissom: You should consider Catherine. She's earned it. Conrad Ecklie: I'll, uh, I'll give it some thought. (Ecklie's about to leave when he turns back.) Conrad Ecklie: Oh, you know ... I'd love to get a copy of your speech. Just a little souvenir for my scrapbook. Grissom: (nods) I'll get you a copy. Conrad Ecklie: That'd be great. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - AUDIO/VISUAL LAB -- DAY] (Greg is reviewing video footage from the TOWER EAST - STAIRWELL CAMERA 1 TOWER EAST - VIP ELEVATOR CAMERA 1 TOWER WEST - SERVICE ELEVATOR CAMERA 1 Catherine: (o.s.) Tell me something. Greg: (o.s.) I think my eyes need band-aids. (Catherine walks over to him.) Catherine: Tough shift. (Greg rubs his tired eyes.) Greg: You did say "shi-fft," right? I reviewed roughly eight hours of video surveillance you so generously provided. Janelle Macklin and several friends rode the VIP elevator to the penthouse around eight p.m. The only other time Janelle set foot in the elevator ... she was a ransom note. (Quick flashback to: [VIP ELEVATOR] Two masked men with guns push Janelle into the elevator. They all look at the security camera. The two masked men drag Janelle out of the elevator. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: Well, we know they didn't take the VIP elevator down ... Greg: ... and, based on the video, they didn't use the stairs or the service elevator, either. Maybe's she's still in the suite. It's a big room. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL/CASINO - ELEVATOR -- DAY] (Nick snaps several photos of shoe prints on the floor. Catherine walks into the elevator behind Nick.) Nick: Man, there must be over a hundred shoeprints in here. (She looks over at the floor panel.) Catherine: Even more fingerprints on those buttons. Good luck. (She gives him a thumb's up sign and leaves.) Nick: (calls out) Thanks a lot. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL/CASINO - LINEN HALLWAY - DAY] (Warrick is in the linen hallway looking through the housekeeper's cart. Catherine walks by.) Catherine: How's it going? Warrick: Great. Got all the towels we need here. Catherine: Yeah ... (Catherine snaps a photo of the linen closet.) Catherine: I might stick a few of those in my trunk. (Warrick finds something in the laudry bag. He takes out dark-colored overalls.) Warrick: The same costumes as the kidnappers. (Catherine snaps a photo of it.) Catherine: These guys definitely knew their way around this hotel. Warrick: Yeah. (She walks over to the service elevator and presses the button. Warrick walks over to the next laundry cart and looks inside.) (The elevator doors open. Catherine snaps photos of the service elevator.) (Cut to: [VIP ELEVATOR] Nick takes photos of the elevator. Nick looks around and then looks up at the security camera.) (Quick flashback to: [ELEVATOR] The two kidnappers push Janelle into the elevator. End of flashback. Resume to present.) (Nick looks around and finds some fibers stuck on the elevator door.) (Quick flashback to: One of the kidnappers brushes up against the door as he gets inside. End of flashback. Resume to present.) (Nick picks up the fiber.) (Cut back to: Warrick looks inside the laundry cart and finds the discarded masks.) Warrick: Hey, Catherine ... (He holds up the masks.) ... got everything we need for Halloween except the candy. (Catherine takes a photo of the masks.) Warrick: The abductors exposed their faces to Janelle Macklin. That's one of two things -- either she knew them, or they were going to whack her. (Catherine turns around and walks into the service elevator. She looks around at the buttons. She takes a photo of the unmarked wall inside the service elevator.) [SCENE_BREAK] [SECURITY VIDEO] (Close-up of the marked wall in the TOWER WEST -SERVICE ELEVATOR / CAMERA 1.) [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL/CASINO - SURVEILLANCE ROOM - DAY] (Catherine looks at the two video cameras for the VIP Elevator and for the Service Elevator. She sees something.) Kenny Bristol: Look, I don't know why you had to drag me down here on my day off. (Catherine turns and looks at Kenny. She looks at the wire hook-up behind the computers. She finds something. She takes out the box.) Catherine: What's this, Kenny? Kenny Bristol: (shakes his head) I don't know. Catherine: Sure you do. Kenny Bristol: A digital video time-delay. Catherine: TIVO-ing the casino. Now that's ballsy. You time-shifted the signal from the west penthouse service elevator and you fed it to the east monitor. (Catherine looks at Kenny.) Catherine: You were in on it. Kenny Bristol: Janelle asked me to do her a favor. I really like her. You know, I practically watched her grow up, I mean, through the ... cameras. (He starts crying.) Kenny Bristol: I'm so fired. I screwed with Charlie Macklin. I'm probably dead. Catherine: Where is she? Kenny Bristol: I don't know. She said she wanted to sneak some guys up to her suite that Mr. Macklin wouldn't like. What was I supposed to do? I mean, she's the boss' daughter. Catherine: She's also a person of interest in the death of Nicole Jensen. If you know anything ... Kenny Bristol: I'm telling you, I don't know where she is. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Various views of the fiber being processed.) (Grissom processes the fiber Nick found in the elevator.) Grissom: (to himself) Definitely not synthetic. Medulla is 14 microns in diameter. Continuous cortex. Imbricate scales. (Catherine passes by in the hallway and stops. She watches Grissom talk and answer himself.) Grissom: (to himself) I'm thinking sheep. (types it in) Merino. Fine wool for fine fabrics. (He finds a match.) Catherine: Why are you talking to yourself? Grissom: I'm trying a new technique. Catherine: Is it working? Grissom: I have no idea. (Grissom picks up the printer results.) Grissom: Aniline dye. Most likely BASF or Dupont. Probably used by every high-end garment maker in the world. Catherine: And black wool is definitely not used for party dresses. So it's got to be from those tuxedo boys in the suite. Grissom: You'll have to take their clothes. (Catherine smiles at Grissom.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (Dean Tate sits with his Lawyer as they go over photographs of the fiber evidence found.) (Brass walks into the room.) Brass: Thread's from your tux, kid. Nothing's going to change that. So the DA's offered you immunity in Nicole Jensen's death for your full cooperation in the kidnapping of Janelle Macklin. Let's hear it. (Brass sits down.) Brass: Go ahead. Dean Tate: All right, straight up. Janelle hired an eye-in-the-sky geek to knock out the cameras in the service area. (Quick flashback to: [SERVICE ELEVATOR] The two guys in masks cock their guns in the elevator.) Gunman: Let's rock 'n roll. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Dean Tate: We swooped in, scooped her out, and bam, I mean, we were over it. Brass: So she paid you to kidnap her? Dean Tate: No. I wouldn't take a penny from Janelle. We've been friends since grade school. Brass: Oh, so you did it out of the goodness of your own heart. Dean Tate: Look, my parents have dealt cards for twenty years, all right? I didn't grow up with squat. Janelle, she didn't care about that. She still kicked it with me. So when she asked for my help, I helped. Brass: Even if it involved several felonies? Dean Tate: I wasn't even thinking about that. You don't even get it. You don't understand what it's like to be born and raised here. I mean, Vegas was a dirt lot until the '60s. I mean, it's lucky that I'm not a drug dealer, and Mr. Mack should be happy Janelle's not a junkie stripper. I mean, he was never there for her like my parents were there for me. They instilled good values in my head. Brass: Like kidnapping? (Dean Tate sits back in his chair.) Brass: Who's your partner? Look, counselor, you better educate your client on the meaning of full cooperation. Dean Tate: Uh-uh, nah. Vegas has got too many rats, and I'm not gonna be one of them. You want to know where Janelle is, I'll tell you. But you're not going to believe me. Brass: Try me. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOTEL -- HALLWAY - DAY] (Officers and the Manager rush down the hallway and surround the door to Room (The Officer knocks on the door.) Officer: Las Vegas Police! Officer: All right. Open it. (The Manager unlocks the door with the card key.) (They open the door and enter the room.) [INT. HOTEL - ROOM 1503 - DAY] (They quickly rush into the room. The bed is a mess, the lamp is overturned. The television set is on loudly.) (The room is empty.) Television: Don't, don't ... do it! Do it! No, son! No! [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. CSI - OFFICE -- DAY] (Dean Tate is being Polygraphed.) Polygraphist: Why did you volunteer to take a polygraph test? Dean Tate: I want to clear my name. Polygraphist: What crime have you been accused of? Dean Tate: Kidnapping Janelle Macklin. INTERCUT WITH: [INT. HOTEL - ROOM 1530 - DAY] (Nick and Warrick are looking through the room. Nick is using an ASL on the bed while Warrick snaps photos. He notes the torn camisole on the floor.) (Nick moves the bed covers aside and finds some body fluid on the bed sheets. He looks at Warrick who is holding up the torn camisole.) (Quick flash of: [HOTEL] Janelle is crying. One man holds her down on the bed while the other removes his pants.) Gunman: Shut up! You know you want it! (End of flash. Resume to present.) CUT BACK TO: [INT. CSI - OFFICE -- DAY] Polygraphist: Did you physically assault Janelle Macklin? Dean Tate: No way. Polygraphist: Did your partner assault Janelle Macklin? Dean Tate: No. I don't know. [INT. HOTEL - ROOM 1530 - DAY] (On the breakfast tray is a half-eaten plate of food. Warrick dusts the food tray cover. He finds a print.) [INT. CSI - OFFICE -- DAY] Polygraphist: Did you kill Janelle Macklin? Dean Tate: No. Polygraphist: Do you know where she is now? Dean Tate: No. It was just a prank. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- DAY] (Catherine reports the polygraph results to Nick.) Catherine: "Not deceptive." Nick: So, Dean Tate was telling the truth. Catherine: Well, according to the polygraph, yeah. (Warrick leans against the door frame.) Warrick: Hey, guys, I got a work card hit off of that maple syrup print. Catherine: Let me guess. Mrs. Butterworth? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY] (Nick and Brass interview Sean Paland.) Sean Paland: What are you accusing me of, eating french toast? What, eating carbs is against the law now? Brass: No, but kidnapping is. Sean Paland: I don't know anything about that. My prints are in that room because it was Deano's room. He got it so we'd have a place to bring the ladies after the dance. (Nick puts the photos of the masks out on the table in front of the suspect.) Nick: So you're telling me when I take a sample of your DNA and compare it to the kabuki masks here ... that's not going to be you? (Quick CGI POV: Close-up of the Kabuki mask. Camera zooms in on the mouth piece. Sounds of breathing as breath and warm air exhale from the mask's mouthpiece.) (End of CGI POV. Resume to present.) Sean Paland: Deano rat me? Nick: No. No, the evidence did that. Sean Paland: Look, we were playing around. I bus tables every day after school, all right? A grand's a lot of dough for me. You know, this was a joke. Nick: You see us laughing? Brass: Where's Janelle? Sean Paland: I don't know. Brass: When's the last time you saw her? Sean Paland: After the kidnapping. Janelle planted one on my lips. You know, to thank me. I felt it was more than that. You know, I felt a vibe. I gave her an hour to chill, then I called her. Asked her if I could bring her anything. She said she was kind of hungry, so I told her I'd bring her something sweet to eat, other than me. (Quick flashback to: [ROOM 1503] Sean Paland lifts the lid off the food tray. Janelle sits on the bed and giggles. The phone rings.) Sean Paland: (V.O.) For a couple seconds, I thought I was in. (Janelle answers her phone.) Sean Paland: (V.O.) Then she got a voice mail ... checked it and flipped out. (She tosses the food tray in frustration and leaves the room.) (Sean Paland takes a bite of the toast and tosses it back on the tray.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Sean Paland: I figured that was my cue to bolt, so I rolled back down to the dance to continue with the honeys I was already working. I haven't seen Janelle since. I swear to god. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - A/V LAB - DAY] (Greg watches as Catherine checks the security video and finds Sean Paland walking back into the elevator.) Catherine: Well, there he is, stepping onto the main elevator from the 15th floor. Alone. (She chuckles as she watches Gunman two working his mirror reflection.) Catherine: You crack this kid's head open, all that would come out would be T and A. Greg: I think you said that about me once. Catherine: Actually, more than once. Greg: What's the time code? Catherine: 2:04 A.M. (Greg checks the cell phone log.) Greg: That's right after Janelle Macklin's last call to her voice mail. Just like he said. Let me access the message. Catherine: So when are you going to be doing your final proficiency? Greg: Every time I ask Grissom, he says, "next time out." And then I end up here. (Catherine smiles.) Greg: Okay, here it is. Charlie Macklin: (from recording) I'm really disappointed with you, Janelle. All these years you spent around me at the casino and you think you can put something like this over on me? The only thing I'm giving you tonight are four little words: Get ... your ... ass ... home. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LOUNGE - DAY] (Catherine, Grissom and Sofia Curtis sit around the table reviewing the information.) Catherine: And since the surveillance feed was still being time-shifted at that point, my guess is that Janelle took the service elevator out. Sofia Curtis: So ... where does that leave us? (Grissom takes his glasses off.) Grissom: I think we're done. Catherine: No actual crime was committed. The kidnapping wasn't real. Sofia Curtis: Nicole Jensen's death was plenty real. Janelle Macklin's ultimately responsible for putting into motion the events that led to Nicole's death. Grissom: Well, the broadcast's out on Janelle and her car. When she turns up, she'll have to answer for it. Sofia Curtis: Well, that's ... (She glances behind her.) ...highly unsatisfying. (Sofia stands up. She puts Grissom's tie on the table.) Sofia Curtis: You forgot this at the suite. I fixed it for you. You never know when you might need to get dressed up again. (Sofia leaves the room; Grissom watches her go. Catherine picks up the tie.) Catherine: (amused) She glued it. (Catherine's phone rings.) Catherine: Just keep in mind, Gil, that she is on Ecklie's team. (She checks her message: 419 McCARRAN AIRPORT.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MCCARRAN AIRPORT - NIGHT] (Warrick and Catherine exit the car. They meet up with Brass who is looking in the back of an open trunk.) (Brass shakes his head.) Brass: State trooper reported the car. (In the trunk, Janelle Macklin is dead, a piece of cloth shoved down her mouth.) Brass: Who wants to tell Mr. Macklin? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- NIGHT] (Catherine snaps photos of Janelle Macklin's body on the table. Janelle's wrists are tied behind her back.) (Quick flashback to: [TRUNK] Someone ties Janelle's wrists behind her back as she screams. End of flashback. Resume to present.) (Catherine snaps more photos. Warrick puts on his gloves and joins her. He notes the scarf shoved in Janelle's mouth.) (Quick flashback to: [TRUNK] Someone shoves a scarf into Janelle's mouth, then closes the trunk door. End of flashback. Resume to present.) (Warrick removes the scarf.) (Quick CGI POV. Camera zooms down the scarf - down Janelle's mouth - down her throat. The scarf is removed. Camera zooms back out of Janelle's mouth along with the scarf. End of Quick CGI POV. Resume to present.) (Warrick checks the scarf.) (Catherine puts two strips of tape on the material used to tie Janelle's wrists together. Between the two strips of tape, Catherine cuts the material. She puts the scissors aside and removes the material.) (Catherine looks at the material.) Charlie Macklin: (V.O.) Janelle left a message a couple hours ago. She ... [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE -- NIGHT] (Charlie Macklin meets with Brass.) Charlie Macklin: (shocked) She was all worked up, she was crying, saying how someone threw her in the trunk of her car. And then the call cuts off. I thought it was just more drama. This time didn't seem any different from all the others. (He sits back in his chair.) I mean, what kind of kidnapper ... lets you keep your cell phone? Brass: You should let us answer that question. Charlie Macklin: Where did you find her, Captain? Brass: Sunset Road. Near McCarran. Charlie Macklin: Janelle loved airplanes when she was a kid. She was always ... begging me to go ... see them take off and land. I took her down there. A couple of times, I think. Her mother is in Paris. That's, uh ... what ... nine hours ahead. Kind of late to call right now. (A young woman walks into the office.) Mrs. Macklin: Oh, my god, Charlie. They told me about Janelle. I'm so sorry, honey. (They kiss. Charlie Macklin makes the introductions.) Charlie Macklin: Captain Brass, my wife. Brass: How do you do? Charlie Macklin: I want you to find whoever did this. Brass: That's what we're trying to do. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [EXT. ROAD - NIGHT] (An officer exits the car and walks around the limo to look through the open driver's window at Bobby Jensen.) Bobby Jensen: Now what? Officer: Mr. Jensen, we need to ask you a couple of questions regarding Janelle Macklin. Bobby Jensen: Hmm. And I thought you were gonna tell me you were gonna charge somebody with my daughter's death. Drink? Officer: Step out of the car, sir. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM - NIGHT] (Brass interviews Bobby Jensen.) Bobby Jensen: Not a peep about my daughter, but page one on Macklin's rich bitch. Oh, you boys sure move quicker when there's cash behind it. Brass: Can you account for your whereabouts in the last six hours? Bobby Jensen: Why don't you kiss my ass. Brass: Look, we have a witness who saw Janelle Macklin get into a town car near the Hard Rock earlier this evening. (Quick flashback to: [EARLIER] Nick is going through the front seat of the car.) Brass: (V.O.) That's why we impounded your vehicle. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (Brass takes out a photo of a bracelet.) Brass: Found Janelle's bracelet in your car. (He shows the photo to Bobby Jensen.) What do you think something like this is worth? Hundred G's at least. Huh? Enough maybe to help ease the pain? Bobby Jensen: For you, maybe. I got a call for a pickup. I went. Trying to keep my head in the work, 'cause what else do I have left? (Quick flashback to: [INT. CAR - NIGHT] Janelle is trying to apologize to Mr. Jensen.) Janelle Macklin: Mr. Jensen, you've got to believe me, I never meant for anything to happen to Nikki. Bobby Jensen: You get out of this car. (She takes her bracelet off and holds it out to him.) Janelle Macklin: I-I can pay ... whatever you need until the day I die. (He knocks it out of her hands and grabs her chin.) Bobby Jensen: (shouts) You wanna pay!? You wanna pay!? (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Bobby Jensen: I told her I was gonna put two bullets in her head and dump her on her daddy's front step. Brass: But then what, you decided maybe it'd be more fun to tie her up, let her choke to death in the trunk of her own car? Bobby Jensen: No. I told her what I felt like doing so her father would know the way I feel. And she got out, and she ran, and it's a good thing she ran, because I might've changed my mind. Brass: Maybe you did. Bobby Jensen: (sighs) I'm not that guy anymore. Brass: You sure about that? Bobby Jensen: It really doesn't make any difference what you do to me. (He sighs.) Bobby Jensen: My baby's dead. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- NIGHT] (The autopsy photos are spread out on the table. Robbins goes over them with Catherine.) Robbins: C.O.D. was asphyxia. Scarf lodged all the way down the esophagus, obstructing the epiglottis. Completely cut off her air. Catherine: And the tox came back positive for benzodiazepines. Robbins: Yeah, that makes sense. They suppress the gag reflex. Catherine: And knock you out at the same time. Girl probably didn't even realize she was suffocating. Robbins: Would've been something like falling asleep. Catherine: All right, so ... based on the time that she called her father and the time we found the car, she was in the trunk at least three hours. That's a slow way to go. (Warrick walks into the lab.) Warrick: I just got off the phone with Brass. Catherine: Let me guess: Jensen lawyered up? Warrick: No. He says he didn't do it. And based off the DNA report, I believe him. (Warrick hands the report to Robbins and Catherine.) Warrick: Mia found saliva and epithelials on the gag and ligature. We ran them against all known suspects. Catherine: Everything matches Janelle Macklin. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. CSI - PARKING LOT - EARLY MORNING] (Grissom is leaving and heading to his car. Sofia Curtis pulls up in the parking stall. Grissom has his keys out and is about to unlock the car door when he turns around and sees Sofia. Her hair is down.) (He turns back to his car and opens the door.) (Sofia gets out of her car and notices Grissom.) (She shuts her car door and heads to the building. Off screen, Grissom closes his car door.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY - DAY] (Sofia walks through the building. She walks by an open door and glances in as she passes by.) (Inside the room, Catherine is still going over the autopsy photos.) (Catherine notices the way the scarf is tied around Janelle's wrists - with the knot on the inside, not the outside.) (She puts her own wrists up and crossed - then turns them inward toward her.) (Quick flashback to: [McCARRAN AIRPORT - NIGHT] Janelle stands outside the car. She's on the cell phone.) Janelle Macklin: (to phone) Daddy, I'm ... I'm in really big trouble. Um, some guys threw me in the trunk of my car. (Cut to: Janelle sits in the trunk of her car and closes the hood down on herself. Her hands are tied. She use her teeth and tightens the knot on the scarf.) Catherine: (V.O.) The position of the knot was the key. (Janelle shifts her hands from the front to the back. She swallows some of the scarf which is stuffed in her mouth.) Catherine: (V.O.) Between her wrists and her back, The only way that it could've ended up in that position was if she had tied it herself. And her saliva on the ends of the scarf confirmed it. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Brass: You saying she committed suicide? (Brass takes a drink from his glass. Catherine sighs as she nurses her drink.) Catherine: I guess I am. Although I don't think that was her intention. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OLYMPIA HOTEL/CASINO - LOBBY - DAY] Catherine: (V.O.) I think that she was ... hoping that her father would save her in time. (Charlie Macklin walks down the center of the hotel lobby. He dials and puts the phone to his ear.) Janelle Macklin: (over phone) Daddy, I'm in real big trouble. Um, some guys threw me in the trunk of my car. Oh, dad. You've got to believe me. I-I can hear airplanes. Um, I-I must be near the airport. I know you'll find me. FADE TO BLACK Janelle Macklin: (from phone) Please hurry.

Plan: A: Dayshift CSI Sofia Curtis; Q: Who does Grissom work with when a high school student is found dead in a hotel room? A: Warrick; Q: Who is the fourth person to help Grissom investigate the murder? A: another girl; Q: Who was kidnapped from the party? A: his daughter's disappearance; Q: What does the father of the kidnapped girl not seem concerned about? Summary: Grissom has to work with Dayshift CSI Sofia Curtis when a high school student is found dead in a hotel room after a party. Assisted by Catherine, Nick and Warrick, they find out that another girl had been kidnapped from the party. However, the father of this girl doesn't seem overly concerned about his daughter's disappearance.

Act One. Scene One - KACL That afternoon, Frasier's show has ended and Roz is looking through catalogues as Frasier enters her booth. Frasier: Good show today, Roz. Roz: Yeah. Frasier: [notices catalogues] Say, why all the catalogues? Roz: I need to buy a present. Frasier: [happily reading books] Tiffany, Cartier, Neiman Marcus... Roz: So does anything look good to you here? Frasier: Well, let's see. Who could we be shopping for? Hmm, perhaps a honey-voiced radio therapist who's birthday's just around the corner? Roz: No, this present is not for you - it's for your brother. Frasier: Oh all right, Roz, don't be coy. I think it's very smart you fishing for hints like this - you wanted to avoid a misstep like you made last year. Roz: What misstep? You said you loved Pagliacci. Frasier: Yes, I said the opera, not the porcelain crying crown figurine! Roz: Look, Niles pulled some strings and got Alice on a list for a really good preschool, so I thought I'd just get him a little thank you gift, which was why I was asking for your stupid opinion in the first place. Forget it. Frasier: All right, fine. Roz: I'll figure it out for myself. Frasier: Have it your own way, that's fine. But I tell you what, don't get him a porcelain Pagliacci. He already has one! Roz throws a catalogue at him as he exits the studio. [SCENE_BREAK] SOMETHING OLD SOMETHING NEW SOMETHING BORROWED SOMETHING DEAD Scene Two - Frasier's Apartment. Later that day, Frasier is on the couch reading a book when Martin enters through the front door. Frasier: Hi, Dad. Martin: Hey, Fras. You'll never guess who I just saw. I went over for a cup of coffee with Hank. You remember Hank? He's the security guard who works at Weston's jewelry store. Anyway, we were in his booth - just shooting the breeze, looking at the surveillance monitors, when who do I see buying an engagement ring, but Donny - as in "Daphne & Donny." Frasier: [shocked] Donny? Are you sure? Martin: Yeah. Engagement rings is Tina's counter. We use the zoom lens on her. Frasier: Dad, I'm shocked! Martin: Oh no, it's just innocent fun. She only dresses that way 'cause she knows we're looking at her! Frasier: About Daphne and Donny. I didn't realize they were this serious. Martin: Well, they spend all their time together. Frasier: This is going to crush Niles. Martin: Yeah, I know. Frasier: Do you think we should tell him? Martin: No, it's none of our business! We do not tell Niles and we definitely do not tell Daphne! Daphne appears at the front door. She has heard Martin's last sentence. Daphne: Tell Daphne what? Martin: Nothing. Daphne: It's bad news, isn't it? Martin: No, it's not bad news. Daphne: Is it about my mum, did they find something during her physical - they did, didn't they? I'll have to call her. Frasier: No Daphne, there is absolutely no news. Martin: And even if there were, it's not up to us to tell you about it. Daphne: Who should tell me then? The head surgeon, our family minister? Martin: No! Daphne: The mortician? [worried] I've got to pack, I hope I'm not too late! Martin: [quickly] I just saw Donny buying you an engagement ring. Frasier: That is the news! Daphne: [confused] Really? I don't believe it, I'm going to get married! [excited] I'm so excited! I'm going to be a "Mrs." Mrs. Donny Douglas! Oh, [writing it out in the air] Mrs. Donald Ronald Douglas! Oh my God! She runs off to her bedroom. Frasier: I guess we're going to have to prepare Niles now, he's on his way over here. Martin: Yeah, well don't tell him here. I don't want him going to pieces in front of Daphne. Frasier: I guess I could tell him at the restaurant. Martin: Don't take him to one of those fancy wine bistros that you guys love. News like this calls for hard liquor, big glasses! Frasier: Wherever it is, I just think it's best that Niles hears it from me and not from Daphne. Just as Daphne did, Niles is now at the front door and has heard Frasier's last sentence. Niles: Hear what from Daphne? Frasier: I'll tell you at the restaurant. Niles: [excited] No, I don't want to wait till we get to the bistro. Frasier: You're just going to have to wait. Martin: And you're not going to any bistro! Niles: [confused] Well fine, then if you won't tell me, I'll just ask Daphne myself. Frasier: [stopping him] Niles, wait. The truth is: Daphne's... Martin: [completing the sentence] ...mother is dying. Niles: Oh, dear God. Frasier: Yes. Tragic, isn't it? You know, she's going to need all the support that we can give her. Daphne enters with tears in her eyes. Daphne: Evening, Dr. Crane. Frasier: Well, come on, Niles, we don't want to lose our table. Daphne: [to Niles] Have you heard the news? Niles: [hugs her] I just did, what can I say? Daphne: Oh, I've thought about this day, ever since I was a little girl. Niles: I'm sure you have. Daphne: It's even better than I thought it would be! Niles, confused, comes out of the embrace. Daphne: I can already picture the big day: beautiful flowers everywhere, a sea of smiling faces, and I suppose everyone will want to have their picture taken with the lady of the hour. Frasier: [worried] You know, maybe Daphne could use a little quiet time. Daphne: Oh, who could be quiet?! I'm so happy. [hugs Frasier] Donny's going to ask me to marry him! Niles: [aside to Martin] What? Daphne: Now, come the big day you'll all sit right up front with my family. Because that's what you are to me: family. [hugs Martin] Martin: Well, that's what you are to us too, Daph. Niles: [Daphne has now started hugging him again, he says, acting] I am so thrilled for you. Daphne: Oh thank you, thank you all! Daphne runs out in a hyper mood as Niles tries to overcome his emotions. Martin: I'm sorry, son. Niles acknowledges this with his hands. Frasier: Do you want to talk? Niles: Er, no. Frasier, if you wouldn't mind I'm gonna cancel dinner. I need to be alone. Frasier: Of course, Niles, but if you need me - call. Niles exits as Martin and Frasier are sorry for him. Martin: Oh, poor kid! Frasier: Oh, he'll be all right, Dad. You know, Niles is a lot stronger than we give him credit for. The phone rings which Frasier answers. Frasier: [into phone] Hello? Hold the elevator, I'll be right there. Frasier walks to the front door but before he can get there, the phone sounds again. Martin answers. Martin: [into phone] Hang in there son, he's on his way. Frasier opens the front door to a sad Niles with the phone to his ear and head pressed against the open lift door. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Three - Niles's Office. Niles is writing in his journal as there is a knock at the door. Niles: Yes? His secretary, Mrs. Woodson, enters with a bag. Woodson: This came while you were in session. It's from a Roz Doyle, she wanted to thank you for a favor that you did. [hands the bag over] Niles: Ah. Woodson: I'll be off now. Niles: All right. Goodnight, Mrs. Woodson. She exits. Niles carries on writing in his journal. There is another knock. Niles: Come in, Mrs. Woodson. However when the door opens it is Daphne. Niles puts his journal away and stands up to greet her. Daphne: I'm afraid it's me, Dr. Crane. Niles: [surprised] Daphne, what are you doing here? Daphne: I know I should have called first but I need to talk to you. It's sort of a private matter and I hoped we could talk here. Niles: Well, it's not really appropriate for me to act as your therapist, but if it's just advice from a friend you need I'd be happy to lend an ear. What's on your mind? Daphne: Well, I don't think I can marry Donny. I think there's somebody else I'm meant to be with. There is a knock at the door but Niles ignores it as he carries on chatting with Daphne. Niles: [to Daphne] Who is it? Woodson: [entering, thinking he was talking to her] It's Mrs... Niles: [getting mad] Oh for God's sake, go home! [she does, then to Daphne] Sorry for that interruption. Anyway, this man you're meant to be with - who is he? Daphne: I'm afraid I can't say. Niles: Yes you can, we're the only ones here. Daphne: Are you sure you won't laugh at me? Niles: How could you possibly think I would laugh at you? Daphne: Well, most people would if I told them I'd seen the love of my life in a psychic vision. Niles: Well, most people are... [realizing] What? Daphne: You know how I have these psychic flashes from time to time? Well, I had one last night. Niles: Oh you had a vision about... the love of your life. Okay, well tell me about it. [they sit] And Daphne, omit nothing! Daphne: All right, I was straightening up the living room when I had a sudden flash of a wedding ceremony for Donny and me. Oh, it was lovely; the church was packed to the rafters. My mum was there in a peach silk looking very smart, my brothers in their suits.... Niles: You know, I may have led you in the wrong direction with the "omit" business, feel free to skip ahead. Daphne: My father had just walked me up to the altar and I was standing there facing Donny. He looked quite natty, black tuxedo, tails, very slimming... Niles: We're skipping. Daphne: Well, then the vicar began the ceremony. He asked if anyone had a reason why we shouldn't wed and that's when this... well, this person stood up and said that he did. He said that he was the true love of my life, though he'd never had the courage to say so. Ah, I feel so awkward telling you all this. Niles: Don't. [excited] I think I know who this person is. Daphne: You do? Niles: Yes. Daphne: Well, I don't see how you could. I couldn't tell myself. Niles is disheartened. Daphne: He was standing in the shadows and I couldn't see his face. All I could make out was that he was wearing a red bow tie. Niles: I don't have a... [realizes] clue why anyone would wear such a thing to a wedding. Daphne: Heavens, I can't believe I'm talking about my visions to a psychiatrist. Your brother would think I was daft. Niles: Well, [covering] Frasier's never really shared my mystical spiritual bent. Daphne: This does mean I'm going to have to turn down Donny's proposal. You don't think that would be crazy? Niles: Not at all. Daphne: Then you really believe in psychic visions too? Niles: I do. Daphne: Oh, thank you, Dr. Crane. That means a lot to me. Of course if I can't marry Donny, I can't very well go on dating him. That would just be leading him on. Niles: That's very true. Daphne: I don't know how I'm going to break it off with him. Niles: If you want to write a letter... I have stationary and a fax machine. Daphne: No. I have to tell him to his face. I do hate to let him go, though. Niles: I know it's hard, but it's the only ethical thing to do. Daphne: [emotionally] You're right. [hugs him] Now I see why people come to you. You always point them in the right direction. Niles: Well, I'd be a poor excuse for a psychiatrist if I didn't. Over her shoulder Niles notices his bust of Carl Jung gazing at him accusingly. Half scared, he turns the head away from himself. End Of Act One. (Time: 9:50) Act Two. Scene Four - Frasier's Apartment. That evening, Martin is watching the TV in his chair as Eddie watches the TV laid upside down. Frasier enters, says hello to Martin, and looks weirdly at Eddie. Frasier: What's Eddie doing? Martin: Every time this cooking show comes on, he rolls over and watches it upside down. He likes all the pouring they do. He thinks it's funny the way the food goes up instead of down. Daphne: [enters from front door] Evening. Martin: Hey, Daph. Donny called, he said he'd be here by eight. Do you think he'll pop the question tonight? Daphne: I hope not. Martin: What's the matter? Daphne: I've decided to break up with him tonight. Martin: What?! You wanted to marry him yesterday. Daphne: Well, you know how I have these visions from time to time, and don't tell Dr. Crane, well... Frasier: [enters from kitchen] Don't tell me what? Daphne: Nothing. Frasier: It's my car again, isn't it! Daphne: It's not your bloody car! Martin: She's breaking up with Donny because of some vision. Daphne: I asked you not to mention that! Frasier: [concerned] What vision? Daphne: I know you'll make fun of me. But I had a vision that I'm meant to be with another man. Martin: Who? Daphne: I couldn't see his face. I don't know anything about him. He was just wearing a red bow tie. Frasier: Are you seriously going to dump Donny because of some psychic vision, don't you think that's a little unwise? Daphne: Well, your brother didn't think so. Frasier: Niles knows about this? Daphne: Yes, he helped me to see that ending things with Donny was my only choice. Unlike you, he believes in my visions; he knows I have a gift. She storms to her room. Frasier: Yes, he's been trying to unwrap it for six years! The doorbell sounds and Frasier goes to answer it. Frasier: That'll be Donny. Martin: What do you think about all this vision stuff? Frasier: Obviously there's some psychological reason that she's having second thoughts. It's got nothing to do with an apparition in a red bow tie. Frasier answers the door to a grinning Niles who has donned a bright red bow tie. Frasier: [appalled] Niles, you jackass, will you take that thing off! Niles: [enters] I admit it's a bit of a departure for me, but I'm feeling a bit kitschy today. Frasier: Yes, I know. Daphne told us how you encouraged her to follow her vision and dump Donny. I am astonished at your lack of integrity! Now will you take that damn thing off! What the hell did you hope to accomplish with that anyway? Niles: I was simply trying to nudge Daphne into the realization that I am the man in her vision. Martin: Niles! Niles: [reluctant] All right. [he takes it off] But why else would she come to me? Frasier: Surely, you of all people realizes that there is some psychological basis for these visions of hers. It represents a fear of some kind. A fear of intimacy, a fear of commitment, a fear of the Windsor Knot, who knows? Daphne: [enters] Was that Donny at the door? Frasier: Oh no, just Niles, Daphne. You know, we were just discussing these visions of yours. Daphne: Look, I'm in no mood to be mocked. Frasier: I'm not mocking you, Daphne, and I'm not trying to influence you in anyway, either. It's just that I was wondering... um, have these psychic warnings ever come to you before - say, at a critical juncture in a relationship? Daphne: No! [remembers] Well, actually yes. Once when my first boyfriend proposed I had a vision telling me that there was somebody better waiting - which there was: Clive. Frasier: But you dumped Clive. Daphne: Look, er, I don't have time for this right now. Daphne, worried and confused, dismisses herself to the kitchen. Frasier: [sarcastic] Oh yes, no fear of commitment there. Niles: It's just as possible that she knew those men were wrong for her. Isn't that right, Dad? Martin: [searching the room] Leave me out of this. I'm just looking for my TV Guide. Niles: Well, I could use a little support here. Martin: [straightens up] Well, maybe that's why I said to leave me out of it. I'm sorry, Niles. I want you to be happy but I'm with your brother on this. Frasier: Niles, the fact is you don't know what causes these visions, and yet you still advised her to walk away from a wonderful relationship. It doesn't make you much of a psychiatrist. Niles: That's your opinion. Frasier: Yes well, here's a second opinion: it doesn't make you much of a friend. Niles is touched by this deeply and stares saddened into mid-air as he knows what he must do. He leaves to the kitchen whilst Martin looks around. Martin: Are you sure you didn't throw it away in the recycling? Frasier: Are you actually looking for the TV Guide?! Martin: Well I have to plan my weekend! Frasier: [sarcastic] You really do have the world on a string, don't you, Dad? The following scene sees Niles going into the kitchen to talk to Daphne. Niles tries to settle the matter. Niles: Look Daphne, I've been thinking about our talk this afternoon. I'm not sure I gave you the best advice I could have. Perhaps what you call a vision is really a fear - a fear of commitment, say. That would explain why these visions come to you when your relationships turn serious. Mind you, I can't tell you that Donny is the right person for you, but I wouldn't want you to end things with him for the wrong reasons. Do you understand? Daphne: [hiding her tears] Yeah, you're just like your brother after all. This afternoon you were just humoring me, weren't you? Niles: No, Daphne. Daphne: [walking into the room as Niles follows, she shouts] Look at the idiot from Manchester, she thinks she has visions! Niles: No, no, all I'm saying is that I think there are psychological issues here that you just don't entirely appreciate. Daphne: Well, how could I? I'm just some nut who believes in fate. Well, I've always followed my visions and [swelling up in the eyes] your pity's not going to change that. The doorbell sounds. Daphne: That'll be Donny. Could one of you get the door? Frasier and Martin look around helpless and confused. Daphne: [angry] Well, you've seen me do it enough times. You just turn the handle and pull! Daphne storms to her room as Frasier opens the door to Donny. Donny: Hey, Frasier. Is Daphne ready? Frasier: She'll be out in a minute. Donny: Oh, good, good. Oh, what's that you're drinking there? Frasier: Sherry. Donny: Oh. Yeah, I'll have one. Martin: So, how's business? Donny: Well, actually I've cut down on my caseload. I want to spend more time with Daphne. Don't tell her this but I've booked us on an Alaskan vacation next month. I guess it's one of the few places left where you can feel completely alone. Martin: [uncomfortable] Ah, you like that feeling, huh? Martin and Niles exchange glances as Daphne enters from her room. Donny goes to hug Daphne but Niles and Frasier get in the way. They move out and Donny and Daphne hug. Daphne: Donny. Donny: Hi, honey. [kisses her] Daphne: So are we on our way then? Donny: Well actually, I've got something on my mind that I'd kinda like to talk about first... Martin, Niles and Frasier get up and try to excuse themselves. Donny: No, no, I'd like you to stay here for this. If it wasn't for you then I never would have met Daphne... Frasier: Donny, I think it would be best... Donny: It's okay. Sit! As Donny leads Daphne to a chair, the three sit down. Martin: Maybe I'll have a little bit of this sherry. [He gulps down a glass at once] Donny sits Daphne in a chair and kneels down in front of her. Donny: You know, I thought that being a divorce attorney would have just soured me on relationships... and then I met you. And I found myself telling my clients to reconcile, because I think that if they could find even just a tiny little bit of the happiness that I've found with you they could make it. I've been thinking about that time we went to the little bed- and-breakfast in the country and we sat in that porch swing all night. [laughs] When I looked at the sky, you told me your dad and you used to sit on your step and do the same thing when you were a kid. He said that the only man good enough for you would "scoop the stars out of the sky with his hat and lay them at your feet." Well... [taking ring out] I've only caught this one so far. But if you'll accept it, I'll spend my life chasing down the rest of them for you. Daphne stares at the ring as Frasier, Martin, and Niles stare at her. Donny: I know it's very soon, so just think about it. Daphne: [slowly] I don't have to think about it... Yes! She begins crying and stands up to hug Donny. They kiss as Martin and Frasier look at Niles in shock. Niles is heartbroken. Donny: Boys, give me a break: you look more surprised than I do. Frasier: Oh, we're just so happy for you. Niles: Oh, that's wonderful. [getting up] Excuse me, I need to... Frasier: Yes, champagne, let me help you. Martin and Frasier follow Niles into the kitchen. Frasier: Oh Niles, I'm so sorry... Martin: Frasier, why don't you just take this champagne in there and stay out there for a second? Frasier complies. Martin and Niles stand in silence for a moment. Martin: I'd do anything to fix this for you. Niles: I know. [half smiling] It's my own fault. I had chance after chance to tell her how I feel, but I always kept my mouth shut. 'Til tonight, when I probably should have. Martin: Well, you can't regret what you said. It was the right thing to do, and that's something I can always count on from you. Niles: Thanks, Dad. Daphne walks into the kitchen, still excited. Martin: Well, I'm going to get me some of that champagne. [exits] Niles: Me, too. Daphne: [stops Niles] Just a second, Dr. Crane. I'm sorry I got cross with you. Once I thought about what you said it really made sense, and then when Donny did ask me it was fear that I felt � just like you told me. I figured the best way to overcome it was to just jump in with both feet. Thank you for your help. Avoiding eye contact, Niles hugs Daphne hard. Niles: I wish you the very best, Daphne. Donny enters in a joking mood. Donny: Hey, don't squeeze so hard! That's a precious commodity right there: my number one client! Donny pats Niles on the back as Daphne laughs at his joke. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Five - Frasier's Apartment. Later that evening Martin is still searching for his TV guide as Daphne enters from her bedroom donned in her dressing gown. Daphne: Still looking for that TV guide? Martin: Yeah, it's the damnedest thing. [looks around] What are you still doing up? Where's Donny? Daphne: [begins searching with him] He's on the phone with my folks. He really is wonderful, Mr. Crane. Martin: I've very happy for you, Daph. Daphne: Oh my God. [straightens up] I just had that vision again. Only this time... oh, that's a bit scary. My mystery man is standing with some sort of dragon. Martin: [surprised] A dragon? Daphne: Yes, that makes no sense. It must be just what Dr. Crane said, these visions are about my fears. Martin: [thinking she's nuts] God, yes. Daphne: Imagine spending the rest of my life looking for some poor bloke with a dragon. [laughs] Martin: [straightening up] Wow, that's weird. Daphne: What? Martin: I just had a vision myself. Daphne: What is it? Martin: It's a mystery woman, she's standing in the kitchen - [excited] she's making me a Monte Cristo sandwich. Daphne: [begins to leave] Oh, brother! Martin: Oh no, it's just a grilled cheese! Daphne: Make it yourself, you lazy old sod! Daphne exits as Martin hobbles out miserably. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Three - Niles's Apartment. Meanwhile at the Montana, Niles is switching off the lights for the night. He walks across the room until he realizes that the present Roz sent for him is still unopened. He decides to have a look what she bought him. Niles: [in disgust] Oh, Roz! Niles takes a small ornament out of the bag. It is a tacky statue of a dragon. Niles then replaces this in the bag looking at it with a look of displeasure. End Of Act Two. (Time: 21:40) [SCENE_BREAK] Frasier's Apartment. That next day Frasier enters the main room from the kitchen and sees both Martin and Eddie lying upside down on chairs watching TV. At first he shakes his head at them, but he then decides to try it himself. Guest Appearances Special Guest Star SAUL RUBINEK as Donny Guest Starring SHARON MADDEN as Mrs. Woodson Quick Synopsis {kathy churay} ACT ONE Scene One - Radio Station - Afternoon Frasier enters Roz's booth congratulating her on a good show, only to find her with a pile of mail order catalogues. She asks his opinion and at first he thinks she's choosing a gift for his birthday, and he warns her against a gift like last year's. "You said you loved Pagliacci!" Roz protests. "Yes," Frasier replies, "the opera, not the little porcelain crying clown figurine." But the gift isn't for him, it's for Niles, who pulled strings to get Alice on the waiting list for a very good preschool. Frasier jokingly tells her not to get Niles a porcelain Pagliacci -- he already has one. Roz throws a catalog at him as he leaves, smirking. Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Dead Scene Two - Frasier's Apartment - Late Afternoon Frasier is reading on the couch as Martin comes in from a visit with his friend Hank, a security guard at a jewelry store. He tells Frasier he and Hank were watching the security monitor and saw Donny buying an engagement ring. Frasier is shocked and wonders whether they should tell Niles, who will be crushed. But Martin says that it's none of their business. They shouldn't tell Niles, and they definitely shouldn't tell Daphne. "Tell Daphne what?" she inquires, coming in from the laundry room with her basket. She quickly leaps to the conclusion that her mother's health checkup is bad news, and works herself nearly into a frenzy until Martin blurts out the truth. Daphne is shocked at first, then ecstatic at the thought of getting married at last. "I'm going to be a missus!" And she runs off to her room jubilantly. Frasier tells his father that they are going to have to prepare Niles, who is on his way over to the apartment at that moment. They adjourn to the kitchen, still talking, and Martin advizes Frasier not to tell Niles in the apartment so he won't go to pieces in front of Daphne. Frasier agrees that he'll tell Niles at the restaurant they're going to for dinner. Martin warns him not to take Niles to "one of those fancy wine bistros that you guys love. News like this calls for hard liquor and big glasses." As he heads back to the living room Frasier remarks that it's best Niles hear the news from him and not from Daphne. "Hear what from Daphne?" asks Niles, coming in the front door. Frasier won't tell him and says Niles has to wait till they get to the restaurant. Niles laughs and refuses to be teased, and heads for Daphne's room to ask her himself. They head him off, and Frasier is about to tell him when Martin jumps in with a story that Daphne's mother is dying. Daphne comes in and Niles gives her a hug to comfort her, only to be confused by Daphne going on and on about the impending "big day." Frasier suggests that Daphne might want to be alone and tries to rush Niles out of the apartment, but Daphne can't help but rhapsodize over the wonderful news that Donny is going to ask her to marry him. Niles reacts stoically and Frasier looks sympathetic as Daphne insists that all three of them must sit up front with her family on the big day, since they are family to her. Niles pulls himself together to hug Daphne and tell her how thrilled he is for her, and she rushes off to her room again. None of the three Cranes has much to say. Finally Martin tells Niles how sorry he is, but Niles brushes him off. Maintaining a brave front he begs off dinner with Frasier, saying he needs to be alone, and leaves. Frasier asks him to call if he needs him. Martin pities Niles, but Frasier tells him Niles is stronger than they give him credit for. Just then the phone rings, and Frasier answers it and says, "Hold the elevator, I'll be right there." He hangs up and heads to the front door as the phone rings again. Martin answers it with, "Hang in there, son, he's on his way." As Frasier opens the front door we can see Niles standing with his head against the elevator door, clutching his cell phone numbly. Scene Three - Niles's Office - The Next Afternoon Niles is writing in a journal as his secretary Mrs. Woodson knocks at the door on her way out for the evening. She hands him a bag that someone named Roz Doyle had dropped off earlier while he was in session. Niles thanks her and sets it aside, taking up his journal again as she leaves. A moment later there is another knock at the door, but this time it's Daphne. She apologizes for dropping by without calling. She wanted to talk to Niles privately. Niles cautions her that it's not appropriate for him to act as her therapist, but he'd be happy to give advice as a friend. Daphne tells him she's not sure she can marry Donny, that there's someone else she's meant to be with. Niles asks her who it is and she can't say. Niles thinks she's just being shy, but she cautions him not to laugh at her -- she's seen the man in a psychic vision. He insists she must tell him about it, omitting nothing. She starts telling him in detail about her vision of the ceremony -- her mother's dress, her brothers' suits, the guests. Niles gently hurries her along until she finally says that at the part of the ceremony where the vicar asks if anyone objects to the marriage, a man stands up and says he is the true love of her life. Niles smiles and says he thinks he knows who the man is, but Daphne doesn't see how that could be. She herself couldn't see the face of the man standing in the shadows, only the red bow tie he was wearing. Daphne says how awkward she feels, telling her psychic visions to a psychiatrist, since she's sure Frasier would laugh at her. But this means, of course, that she's going to have to turn down Donny's proposal, and stop dating him since it would be unethical to lead him on. Does Niles think that's crazy? Of course Niles doesn't at all. Though he knows he's taking advantage of her, he can't help but be happy she's going to break up with Donny, and enjoy the hug she gives him as the scene ends. ACT TWO Scene One - Frasier's Living Room - Early That Evening Martin is watching TV as Frasier enters from the bedroom. Eddie is lying on his back on an end table, watching the television upside down as Frasier heads into the kitchen. Daphne comes in and Martin tells her that Donny called and will come by about 8:00. Does she think he'll ask her to marry him tonight? Daphne tells him she hopes not; she's planning to break up with Donny tonight. She tells him about her vision and cautions him not to tell Frasier. "Don't tell me what?" Frasier asks as he comes in from the kitchen. Martin blurts out her news and Daphne is forced to reveal that she's had a vision. Frasier wonders whether it's not unwize to break up with Donny on the basis of a vision. Daphne insists that his brother had a different opinion, that breaking up with Donny was her only choice. Niles knows she has a gift, she insists, and storms out to the kitchen. The doorbell rings and Fraizer expects it will be Donny, but it's Niles, wearing the inevitable red bow tie. He tries to be casual, but Frasier caustically informs him that he and Martin have already heard about Daphne's vision and his advice, and Frasier is astonished at Niles's lack of integrity. Niles takes the tie off protesting that all Daphne needs is a nudge to realize he is the man for her -- why else would she come to him for advice? But Frasier is genuinely angry at Niles for not seeing that the visions must represent a fear of commitment, not psychic ability. Daphne comes in and Frasier tries to get her to talk about her vision, but Daphne is defensive and afraid of being mocked. Frasier gently tries to raize the question of when she's had the visions in the past -- was it usual at a crucial juncture of relationships? No, Daphne insists, though it did happen when her first boyfriend proposed. She felt there was someone better waiting, and there was - - Clive. Frasier points out that she dumped Clive, too, but she refuses to discuss it and retreats to the kitchen. No fear of commitment there, Frasier observes sarcastically to Niles. Niles insists that it's possible that Daphne's previous boyfriends were just wrong for her, but Frasier points out that not only is Niles not being a good psychiatrist -- he's not being much of a friend, either. Niles appeals to Martin, who sides with Frasier. Niles is forced to reconsider and goes into the kitchen to talk with Daphne. Daphne is making tea as Niles tells her he's reconsidered his advice of that afternoon. Perhaps her visions are really produced by fear of commitment and she would be breaking up with Donny for the wrong reasons. Daphne gets angry at him and tells him he's just like his brother, thinking she's pitiable because she believes in visions. But his pity isn't going to change her belief in her visions. She is clearly hurt and goes off to her room to collect herself as the doorbell rings. Frasier lets Donny in. Daphne comes in and tries to get him to go out for their date. Donny says he has something to talk to her about. The Crane men try to get out of the room, but Donny insists they stay to hear what he has to say. The three of them sink resignedly to the couch and are forced to listen as Donny makes a touching, heartfelt proposal to Daphne. Daphne is very moved and for a moment it's not clear what she wants to do, but then she happily accepts his proposal. Niles, Frasier and Martin sit looking stunned till Donny chides them for their long faces and they get up to congratulate Donny and Daphne. Niles acts genuinely happy for them, but quickly beats a retreat to the kitchen, followed by Frasier. In the kitchen there is mostly silence as Frasier collects glasses for a champagne toast and Niles stands grief-stricken at the counter. Martin comes in and pushes Frasier out with the champagne so he can have a moment alone with Niles. He tells Niles that he would give anything to fix this for him. Niles admits it's his own fault, not saying anything to Daphne about his feelings, then saying the wrong thing and causing her to accept Donny's proposal. Martin comforts him that he has done the right thing and that he can count on that from Niles. Daphne comes in to give Niles a big hug and thank him for talking some sense into her. Niles wishes her the best in a choked voice, and Donny comes in to hug him, too. Niles even manages to return Donny's hug for his number one client. Scene Two - Living Room - Later That Night Martin is searching for his TV Guide as Daphne comes in in her bathrobe. Donny is in the other room, on the phone with Daphne's parents. Daphne starts to help Martin with the search, and is looking under a chair when she straightens up in shock. She's just had another vision. The same man is in this one, only this time he has a dragon. She admits the visions must be about her fears after all. "Imagine spending the rest of my life looking for some poor bloke with a dragon!" Scene Two - Niles's Apartment - That Night Niles shuffles tiredly through the living room in his pajamas, turning off lights for the night. He spots the bag Roz gave him and roots through it looking for the gift. "Oh, Roz!" he exclaims, and lifts out the figure of a carved dragon for a moment before he puts it back in the bag in disgust. [SCENE_BREAK] Martin and Eddie are watching TV again, Eddie on his back on the end table, Martin upside down in his recliner. Frasier passes through rolling his eyes at the two of them, but after a moment reconsiders and lies down on the couch, putting his feet up and watches the show upside down himself.

Plan: A: Daphne; Q: Who is thrilled to hear that Donny has bought an engagement ring? A: their conversation; Q: What is Daphne doing when she walks in on Martin and Frasier? A: Niles; Q: Who is crushed when he hears the news of Donny's engagement? A: Daphne's mother; Q: Who is dying? A: advice; Q: What does Daphne ask Niles for when she visits him at his office? A: a psychic vision; Q: What did Daphne have that caused her to want to change her mind about Donny? A: a red bow tie; Q: What did the mysterious figure in Daphne's vision wear? A: her life; Q: What does Daphne say the man in the vision is the true love of? A: his professional integrity; Q: What does Niles betray when he tells Daphne not to marry Donny? A: second thoughts; Q: What does Frasier think Daphne is having when she has a vision of her true love? A: patience; Q: What does Frasier lose when his brother shows up wearing a red bow tie? A: her visions; Q: What does Daphne claim are false? A: her true love; Q: Who does Daphne see holding a dragon? A: Roz; Q: Who gave Niles a dragon statue? Summary: Martin has news for Frasier: he has just seen Donny buying an engagement ring . They first plan to keep this from Daphne, but she walks in halfway through their conversation. When she hears the news, she is thrilled and excited. Martin and Frasier then plan not to tell Niles, but again he walks in at the wrong moment, and after initially pretending that Daphne's mother is dying, the real story comes out and Niles is crushed. Soon after this, Daphne visits Niles unexpectedly at his office, and asks for advice. She tells him that she had a psychic vision in which a mysterious figure in a red bow tie appeared at her wedding, and said he was "the true love of her life". Niles betrays his professional integrity and advises her not to marry Donny. Frasier, when he hears about this later, reckons that psychologically the vision means she is having second thoughts. Additionally, of course, he knows exactly why Niles gave the advice he did, and loses patience with his brother when he arrives a few moments later wearing a red bow tie. Later that evening, Daphne decides to go through with marrying Donny, claiming that perhaps her visions are false. She suddenly has another, however, and this one contains her true love holding a dragon . Martin laughs, and Daphne agrees that it is probably false. Back at home, however, Niles opens a present that Roz had offered him earlier. It contains a dragon statue.

Written by Dennis Spooner (Based on an idea by Terry Nation) 5:50pm - 6:15pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1. DALEK CONTROL ROOM, KEMBEL DALEK 1: Four, three, two, one, zero! (The time machine fades from the Control Room.) DALEK 1: Report to Skaro. Our time machine is now in pursuit. Nothing can match Dalek technology. The universe shall be ours. Conquest is assured. DALEKS: CONQUEST! CONQUEST! CONQUEST! CONQUEST! CONQUEST! CONQUEST! [SCENE_BREAK] 2. DESERT (In the distance is a pyramid. The TARDIS materialises.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3. DALEK TIME-MACHINE (Some DALEKS are running the machine, while the RED DALEK is in charge. Over in a corner, MAVIC CHEN is standing.) RED DALEK: Mavic Chen, the recovery of the Taranium Core is your responsibility. MAVIC CHEN: I welcome it. Guile and cunning will succeed where force would fail. RED DALEK: Once the Taranium core is in your possession, we shall eliminate the humans. MAVIC CHEN: Of course. (He turns to the scanner which is showing the desert landscape.) MAVIC CHEN: And I assume that that is where they've landed? RED DALEK: You are correct, and we shall arrive shortly - in four Earth minutes. MAVIC CHEN: They must have equipment in their ship. Equipment that would inform them of our pursuit. DALEK 1: The time traveller is making no attempt to take off. MAVIC CHEN: That's very strange. Why should they choose to wait... and face us? [SCENE_BREAK] 4. DESERT (The TARDIS is near the pyramid. STEVEN and the DOCTOR have left the ship. The DOCTOR is worried about the damage the MONK has caused to the lock, and has got a toolbox out and is working on the lock.) STEVEN: How long is it going to take you to mend the lock, Doctor? DOCTOR: Well, it's hard to say, my boy. But I think that it's going to be a little more difficult than I thought. STEVEN: Oh yes, and the other time machine is still registering. DOCTOR: Yes, but I don't think so for much longer. It's about time, you know, that that wretched Monk landed, and I think he will quite soon. (STEVEN looks at the pyramid.) STEVEN: Well, it's quite impressive isn't it? DOCTOR: Well... the pyramids are the seventh wonder of this ancient world. I should say the word "impressive" is rather an understatement. STEVEN: Yes, you could be right. (They both look at it for a moment.) STEVEN: Well, they've finished it, you think? There doesn't seem to be anyone around. DOCTOR: (Working at the lock.) Would you mind passing me the diatrab, dear boy, please. (STEVEN isn't sure which one to choose, so for a moment he thinks which one to take. He chooses one and passes it over.) DOCTOR: I said the diatrab. (He tries again.) DOCTOR: I SAID THE DIATRAB! (The DOCTOR gets it himself.) DOCTOR: Hmph! STEVEN: There's not much cover, is there? If the Monk's TARDIS lands this side of the pyramid, we should see it easily, however it disguises itself. (He sees a small ramp of earth on the side of the pyramid.) STEVEN: I think I'll take a look from up there. It'll give me a better view. (With no answer from the DOCTOR, STEVEN shakes him head in amusement, and then heads off towards the ramp.) DOCTOR: Yes, I think perhaps it would be a good idea if you keep your eye on the Monk. So, if you climb higher... (He looks up and sees that he is alone.) DOCTOR: Talking to myself, hmph... [SCENE_BREAK] 5. DALEK TIME MACHINE DALEK 1: Stand by for materialisation. DALEK 2: Continuum stabiliser reading four, three, two, one... zero! DALEK 1: Materialising... NOW! (The whispering, humming noise is heard as the Time Machine lands.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6. DESERT STEVEN: (Calling.) DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I can see it. I saw it land! DOCTOR! (He runs back, as SARA comes out of the TARDIS.) STEVEN: Doctor... DOCTOR: Tut, Tut, Tut. Calm down. Calm down. What's all the fuss? Is that you bawling your head off? STEVEN: (Out of breath.) Yes. I saw it land. Over there! (He points.) SARA: Doctor, whatever was following us has stopped registering on the time curve indicator. STEVEN: It's over there, Sara - about a quarter of a mile away. DOCTOR: Now, that's very good... very good. Now, please excuse me. (He turns back to the lock.) STEVEN: Well, oughtn't we to take the initiative and go and meet the Monk? DOCTOR: Oh, my dear young man, I have no intention of leaving the TARDIS unlocked. And another thing you should know - you realise I've have to strip the whole of this mechanism down before I could put it right. STEVEN: How long are you going to be? DOCTOR: (Snaps.) Oh, I don't know. Anyway, I dare say that I can catch you up somewhere. But be careful. You know, that Monk can be very harmful if he wants to... STEVEN: Don't worry Doctor, we'll watch him. (They move away, leaving the DOCTOR to work on the lock, not knowing that an Egyptian, TUTHMOS, is watching him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7. KHEPREN'S WORKSHOP (KHEPREN is the designer of the new type of tomb which is in the pyramid, and is having breakfast with HYKSOS, the swarthy captain of the local guards, when TUTHMOS comes running in.) TUTHMOS: Master! Strangers... at the tomb! (HYKSOS and KHEPREN leave their food and follow the slave.) HYKSOS: Come! [SCENE_BREAK] 8. ANOTHER PART OF THE DESERT (SARA and STEVEN have arrived at the part of the Desert with the time-machine, which simply sits in the sands. It is a featureless box.) STEVEN: Well, it didn't work this time, did it? SARA: What hasn't? STEVEN: The Monk's TARDIS. It usually blends in with its surroundings, like the Doctor's should. SARA: Maybe the Monk didn't bother this time. STEVEN: Yes, maybe - but I thought it was automatic. Anyway, let's take a look. (They start to move forward, but stop when the door to the machine opens and MAVIC CHEN steps out, followed by a DALEK.) STEVEN: Daleks! SARA: I knew we should have tried to get back to Kembel. STEVEN: It's a bit late for that now. We've got to warn the Doctor. Come on. (They turn around, but are grabbed by some guards! The guards under the command of HYKSOS have been watching the whole thing, and waited to grab both STEVEN and SARA. It happens so fast that SARA doesn't get the chance to use her judo skills. They are both knocked senseless.) HYKSOS: Take them away! The rest of you follow me! (The guards move forward, while four drag STEVEN and SARA away. HYKSOS sees MAVIC CHEN and the DALEKS.) HYKSOS: More of them. Seize them! (Some guards run forward. Seeing a dozen or more Egyptian warriors racing towards him, MAVIC CHEN dodges for the cover of a limestone rock. The guards stop in front of the DALEKS, not knowing what to do.) HYKSOS: Seize them, you cowards! RED DALEK: Exterminate the creatures. (The DALEKS start opening fire on the soldiers, some of whom die horribly. The rest run for their lives.) RED DALEK: Pursue and exterminate. [SCENE_BREAK] 9. PYRAMID (Some of the DALEKS move forward, obeying the order. A chase then ensues around the Pyramid as the soldiers are trying to get away. Some aren't so lucky, and we hear the Daleks firing and the soldiers dying. Hyksos escapes.) HYKSOS: ... A slaughter! I must fetch reinforcements. [SCENE_BREAK] 10. DALEK TIME MACHINE LANDING SITE DALEK 1: Did we sustain damage? DALEK 2: No. It was only inhabitants of this time and planet. DALEK 3: Unimportant. DALEK 2: Exterminate them on sight. [SCENE_BREAK] 11. TARDIS LANDING SITE (The DOCTOR has finished the repairs, and has returned the toolbox to the TARDIS and picked up his stick. He carefully looks at the lock with a measure of pride at his work.) DOCTOR: (Laughing to himself.) Well, that's finished. Now I must go. I wonder where those other two are. (Calling.) Sara! Steven! (He tuts at the non-appearance of the companions, and walks on.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12. PYRAMID (The DOCTOR is walking about, having a look at the pyramid. He wanders through different parts of the Pyramid and we see that, even though the Pyramid is nearly complete, there are still bricks and large slabs still to be built. He is impressed with what he sees, and is marvelling at the size when a strange but familiar sound reaches his ears - a sound which heralds the arrival of a huge building block. It is the Monk's TARDIS. The Doctor laughs to himself. The Monk steps out, still wearing his robe and habit, and, after seeing the sun and the strong sunlight, blinks and goes back inside, and pops out a few seconds later with a pair of mirrored sunglasses! The Monk moves off, looking for the Doctor's TARDIS. The Doctor moves forward into the open, and is looking at the Monk's TARDIS when he remembers the other ship.) DOCTOR: Who was it landed here before, then? (There was only one answer.) DOCTOR: The Daleks! [SCENE_BREAK] 13. KHEPHREN'S WORKSHOP (STEVEN's and SARA's bodies are bought into the house. The guards dump them on the ground. They both start to come to. TUTHMOS, KHEPHREN and HYKSOS are here too. TUTHMOS and KHEPHREN raise an eye at HYKSOS.) HYKSOS: (To TUTHMOS and KHEPHREN.) Plunderers! Murderers! KHEPHREN: What of the others? HYKSOS: I will journey to the next encampment. We'll need an army to do battle with their fire-throwing machines. KHEPHREN: Yes. And I will take my slaves to the Tomb. The treasures that Pharaoh has sent for his journey to the afterlife will be placed inside. There they will be easier to guard. (STEVEN has recovered consciousness but is feigning unconsciousness. He is watching everything and is testing his bonds.) HYKSOS: I will return when the sun is above us. (He leaves with KHEPREN. STEVEN, seeing that there is no point in further pretending he was unconscious, sits up.) STEVEN: How long are you going to keep us here? (SARA sat up as well.) SARA: Yes. GUARD: Until your friends have been brought to join you. Then you will answer for your crimes. STEVEN: We haven't got anything to answer for. We're not interested in your treasures. GUARD: Not even the old man? STEVEN: Not even the old man. GUARD: Then why did he examine so carefully that large blue box? STEVEN: Well, probably because the large blue box was his. GUARD: (Triumphantly.) Now I know you lie! Everything the slaves hauled here across the desert belongs to Pharaoh! (He leaves. STEVEN feels SARA tugging at his bonds.) STEVEN: What are you doing? SARA: While you were talking, I managed to find a piece of broken pottery. With a bit of time, I think I can get though these bonds. STEVEN: Great. Keep sawing! [SCENE_BREAK] 14. PYRAMID (The MONK marches happily through the sand, half wishing he had remembered to bring a bucket and spade. He has no idea at all that the DOCTOR is following him with a big grin on his face. He moves forward, and passes a being. He has a plan. If you look innocent, nine times out of ten you will be left alone. He places his hands piously together and keeps his head low while he moves past the being.) MONK: Good morning, my son. (Unfortunately the being is a DALEK, who trains his gun on him.) MONK: A DALEK! (The DALEK is ready to fire, when...) MAVIC CHEN: Wait! (He pushes the gun-stick aside.) MAVIC CHEN: Don't fire! DALEK: Dalek exterminations will not be questioned! MAVIC CHEN: This could help us recover the Taranium core. DALEK: Explain. MAVIC CHEN: In a moment. (He turns to the MONK.) MAVIC CHEN: So, you have heard of the Daleks. MONK: Yes, yes. By reputation. MAVIC CHEN: Then you are certainly not of this time. MONK: No. Oh no. Certainly not. No. Just a passing time-traveller, anxious to be on his way. So, if you'll excuse me, I'd... (He starts to move away.) DALEK: (Gun-stick back up.) HALT! MAVIC CHEN: Three time machines in one infinitesimal speck of space and time! Of course, a coincidence is possible - but hardly likely. You would agree? MONK: (Trying to keep an eye on the Dalek.) Oh yes, I would agree. MAVIC CHEN: Then why have you arrived here? MONK: (Twiddling his fingers with nervous movement.) Three... three time-machines. Yes, well... the odd one out belongs to a certain Doctor... DALEK: The enemy ship! MONK: Yes, that's right. The enemy. I have an old score to settle with him. But I'm sure yours is the prior claim. MAVIC CHEN: (politely.) He is a friend of yours? MONK: (With an expression of horror on his face.) Friend? No, no. An enemy! An enemy to end all enemies! (He raises his voice to be sure that the DALEK behind him can hear him.) MONK: I came here to inflict a terrible vengeance on him! I mean, we are all on the same side here, aren't we? (It is clear that MAVIC CHEN is toying with the MONK - and it is also clear that the MONK is desperate to get away with his life.) MAVIC CHEN: But he knows you? MONK: Well... in a manner of speaking, yes... and again, in another manner of speaking, no. MAVIC CHEN: Could you gain his confidence? MONK: Certainly. Certainly. If you wanted me to. No question about it! No doubt at all. MAVIC CHEN: (Smoothly.) Then you may have a slight chance of saving your life. The Doctor and his friends have in their possession a full emm of Taranium. MONK: A full emm of Taranium. MAVIC CHEN: It belongs to the Daleks. You will recover this and return it to us within one Earth hour. MONK: Oh I will. I promise! MAVIC CHEN: I need hardly remind you that the Daleks will reward failure on your part with elimination. MONK: (Nodding) Elimination. Thank you. Elimination! Oh, you'll get it back. Have no fear. MAVIC CHEN: Then you better leave at once, and waste no more of your valuable time. (The MONK nods, and starts to retreat. CHEN raises an eyebrow and points in the direction of the DOCTOR's TARDIS. The MONK gives a watery smile and strikes himself rather theatrically on the head and then moves off in the right direction.) [SCENE_BREAK] 15. DESERT (The MONK moves about with some kind of TARDIS locator, looking for the DOCTOR's TARDIS. The machine bleeps at him, and he looks down and follows its directions.) [SCENE_BREAK] 16. MONK'S TARDIS LANDING SITE (The DOCTOR moves over to the MONK's TARDIS, and is able to open the doors since the MONK didn't lock them properly.) DOCTOR: (To himself.) Good Heavens! You're given an opportunity you didn't before. (With a small laugh, he moves inside. With a hum, the MONK's TARDIS starts to change shape to the following: a tall Ionic column; a stagecoach; a small tree; an igloo; a small one-man rocket-ship; a Camel; and then finally a tall blue British police telephone box - a copy of the DOCTOR's! The DOCTOR comes out, holding up some kind of circuit or unit, and still laughing, he walks away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17. KHEPREN'S WORKSHOP STEVEN: How's it going? SARA: I think that's done it. Yes. (STEVEN shakes the rope off him and then unties SARA.) STEVEN: Now for those guards. (He hides behind the door where two guards are waiting outside.) SARA: (Calls.) Come on! (The guards with another come into the house and start fighting with them. The guards start to fight back but, with the aid of SARA's judo, STEVEN is able to knock them unconscious.) SARA: Not bad! Remind me to teach you a few tricks sometime. STEVEN: Remind me not to pick a fight with you. Come on. (They leave the hut.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18. TOMB (Nearby, KHEPHREN has got his slaves to bring the TARDIS into the tomb, and then leaves, going for some more of Pharaoh's treasures.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19. OUTSIDE THE TOMB (The MONK follows the locator, which seems to be leading him straight towards the opening in the pyramid.) [SCENE_BREAK] 20. TOMB INTERIOR (The tomb is filled with treasures and a sarcophagus where the Pharaoh's body is going to be laid to rest. In the corner by the wall lies the TARDIS. Putting the locator away in one of his pocket, the MONK moves forward and tries to open it, not knowing that the DOCTOR is right behind him.) DOCTOR: You're wasting your time. You won't get in. (The MONK spins about and tries to smile.) MONK: Doctor, you've been following me! DOCTOR: For a time, yes. For a time. I've been glad to. You know, I don't think that I would have found my TARDIS without the help of that energy counter. MONK: No. Come in very handy, hasn't it. DOCTOR: Hmm. MONK: You know, Doctor, if your machine would blend in with its surroundings, people wouldn't be able to find it. And then we wouldn't have all this trouble. DOCTOR: Yes. Like your machine, I suppose, hmm? MONK: Exactly, Doctor. Like mine. I could teach you a thing or two, you know. DOCTOR: Well, you know, my way has its advantages. The Egyptians thought that it was a very good idea, otherwise they wouldn't have brought it in here. As for your machine, well, it's probably disguised as a... what... a sort of... a block of stone? Hmm... Hm...? (The MONK's face is a picture. Complete and utter shock. Then he composes himself.) MONK: Now, Doctor, it's a pity that we're having this feud, you know. By the way, you didn't track me on your time curve indicator this time, did you? (He laughs.) DOCTOR: Not your machine, no. I didn't realise it at the time. MONK: I jumped across the track. DOCTOR: Really? MONK: It's simple really, you know, Doctor. It's up to you, of course. If you'd like to come inside, I'll show you how it was done. DOCTOR: (Smiling.) And then you would be able to see the Taranium too. MONK: Yes, yes. (He realises that the DOCTOR must have heard his conversation with MAVIC CHEN.) MONK: Do you know, I knew there was something I had to tell you. I've come here to warn you about the Daleks. DOCTOR: Warn me? MONK: Yes. I played them along their own game, of course, for quite a time, but they don't like you, you know. They don't like you at all. DOCTOR: Why didn't you? MONK: What? DOCTOR: Warn me. MONK: Oh... well... you were talking at the time. I didn't want to interrupt. (The DOCTOR raises his eyes to the roof at this thin ploy.) DOCTOR: You know, I think, before I go, I shall put you safely out of the way. (He moves forward toward the MONK, raising his walking stick menacingly.) MONK: Come now, Doctor. Surely you don't think that I was going to help the Daleks? DOCTOR: (Laughing.) I did. MONK: (Backing away.) Now Doctor, look, let's talk this over like civilised time-travellers. It's the Taranium core they want, not you. Why don't you give it to them. Then we can be all on our way. DOCTOR: (Still laughing) If you believe that, my friend, you will believe anything! (The MONK is now wedged in the corner, with nowhere left to retreat to. The DOCTOR's laughter is still going on.) MONK: Doctor, don't do anything you might regret. Doctor? DOCTOR! [SCENE_BREAK] 21. DALEK TIME MACHINE (Inside, the RED DALEK moves to the main communications panel where there is another Dalek.) RED DALEK: Give your report. DALEK: The time-traveller has not made contact. RED DALEK: He has betrayed us. Prepare a task force to attack. All the humans will be exterminated. DALEK: I obey. (The Dalek turns back to the control panel.) [SCENE_BREAK] 22. TARDIS LANDING SITE (STEVEN and SARA have arrived where the TARDIS used to be. All that is there is the skid marks of where the Egyptians have dragged it.) SARA: The TARDIS! It's gone! STEVEN: Well, the Egyptians must have taken it into the tomb already. Come on! [SCENE_BREAK] 23. TOMB, OUTSIDE (STEVEN tries calling out.) STEVEN: Doctor! Doctor! (They move inside the tomb.) [SCENE_BREAK] 24. TOMB, INTERIOR (It's exactly the same, but the MONK and the DOCTOR are not in sight.) STEVEN: Doctor! Doctor! (He turns to SARA.) STEVEN: No Doctor. (SARA spots the TARDIS.) SARA: Unless he's inside. (They try to open the TARDIS door, but it is still locked.) STEVEN: Doctor! DOCTOR! (SARA sees something behind them. She calls to STEVEN.) SARA: Steven. Steven! Look! (He turns around. The lid of the coffin is being slowly lifted from within by a bandaged hand...)

Plan: A: Missing episode; Q: What is the name of the episode that was supposed to be in the year 4000? A: the year 4000; Q: In what year did the Daleks conspire to conquer the Solar System? A: treachery; Q: What is at the highest levels of the Daleks' scheme? A: a weapon; Q: What is the Daleks using to destroy the fabric of time? A: catastrophe; Q: What can only the Doctor and his friends prevent? A: no guarantee; Q: Is there a guarantee that the Doctor and his friends will escape with their lives? Summary: Missing episode In the year 4000, the Daleks conspire to conquer the Solar System. Their scheme involves treachery at the highest levels and a weapon capable of destroying the very fabric of time. Only the Doctor and his friends can prevent catastrophe - and there is no guarantee they will escape with their lives...

Teleplay by: Brian Boyle Story by: Sherry Bilsing & Ellen Plummer [Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are there as Joey is entering excitedly.] Joey: Hey! You guys! You're not gonna believe this! I just got off the phone with my agent... Phoebe: Oh my God! (Joey looks at her.) I'm sorry, too soon. You go. Joey: Okay. I got nominated for my part on Days of Our Lives! Monica: Joey! Phoebe: Good for you! Monica: Congratulations! Wow! I can't believe you're nominated for an Emmy! Joey: No-no. Monica: Oh Soap Opera Digest award! Joey: No! I'm up for a Soapie! Monica: Honey? Is that something you're making up? Joey: No, no, no! It's real! And it has been since 1998. (Rachel returns from the bathroom.) Hey Rach! Rach! I'm up for a Soapie! Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Oh my God!! That is like the third most prestigious soap opera award there is! Joey: Thank you! Well, I guess now I know who I'm taking to the awards. (Points to Rachel.) Rachel: Oh, stop that! Don't kid about that! (Gasps) Will all the stars be there? Joey: Many are scheduled to appear. Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God! I can't go! I'm gonna be too nervous! Monica: (to Joey) Okay, I'll go! Rachel: No!! You are getting married! This is all I have. Opening Credits [Scene: N.Y.U, Ross is giving a lecture.] Ross: ...and it was Ernst Muhlbrat who first hypothesized that the Velociraptor would expand it's collar and emit a high pitched noise to frighten it's predator. (A student raises his hand.) Yes Mr. Lewis? Lewis: What kinda noise? Ross: Just a high pitched intimidating noise. Lewis: But like how? Ross: Well we-we don't know for sure. But in my head it-it sounded something like this. (He makes a high pitched noise and Alan doesn't know what to make of it.) Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, that's uh, that's all for today. (Everyone starts to get up.) Uh Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment? Morse: Yes sir. Ross: Mr. Morse I need to talk to you about your mid-term exam, I'm afraid I-I had to fail you. Morse: (shocked) Why?! Ross: Well you need 60% to pass... Morse: What'd I get? Ross: Seven. Morse: That's not so good. Ross: No-no it's not. What-what happened there Ned? Morse: Well maybe you can cut me some slack. I'm sort of in love. Ross: Well I'm sorry but, that-that's really not my problem. Morse: I'm in love with you. Ross: Well that brings me in the loop a little. Morse: You see, that's why I did so bad on this test. I'm having a hard time concentrating. When you're up there (Points to the podium) and you're teaching and your face gets all serious...you look so good. (In a sexy voice) You wear that tight little turtleneck sweater... Ross: Okay! (Walks away from him.) Umm, I uh, I'm your teacher. I'm sorry, you're-you're a student and I-and I like women. In spite of what may be written on the backs of some of these chairs. [Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are drinking coffee and Phoebe notices a cute guy checking them out.] Phoebe: Oh my God! That guy at the counter is totally checking you out! Monica: Really? (Looks.) My God, he's really cute. Phoebe: Go for it. Monica: Phoebe, I'm engaged! Phoebe: I'm just saying, get his number just in case. But no Chandler is in an accident and can't perform sexually and he would want you to take a lover to satisfy the needs that he can no longer fulfill. The Cute Guy: (To Monica) Hi! Monica: Op, can I just tell you something? Very flattered but umm, I'm engaged. (Points to her ring.) The Cute Guy: Wow! Uh, this is kind of embarrassing. I was actually coming over to talk to your friend. Monica: Well you should be embarrassed. (Leaves.) The Cute Guy: (To Phoebe) I thought you knew I was looking at you. Phoebe: I did, but that was really fun. [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sitting in the chair.] Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is...Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh... Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didn't prepare a speech. But umm, I'd like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, who've always been there for me. I'd also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel... Rachel: I'm fourth! (Joey is startled.) Look at you with your little maple syrup award! Joey: Yeah may-maybe you don't tell anyone about this. Rachel: What? No! It's not a big deal! I do that too, with my shampoo bottle. Joey: Really? Rachel: Yeah. Joey: What award are you practicing for? Rachel: Grammy, Best New Artist. Joey: Oh, hey listen! The Soapie's called today and I also get to present an award. Rachel: Ohh that's great! Joey: Yeah! Rachel: So you'll definitely get onstage, even if you don't win. Joey: (confused) What you-you don't think I'm gonna win? Rachel: Well of course I do! But y'know, favorite returning character is a tough category Joey. I mean you're up against the guy who survived his own cremation. Joey: Yeah. No-no I-I know I might not win, but it's just...I've never even been nominated before! I want it so much. Rachel: Well Joey, you'll probably get it. But you should probably your-your gracious loser face. Y'know when like the cameras are on you and you wanna look disappointed but also that your colleague deserved to win. Y'know? So it's sorta like... (Does it, you'll have to see it.) Joey: Hey! (Likes it.) Rachel: Y'know? Joey: You practice losing the Grammies too? Rachel: Oh no, at the Grammies I always win. Joey: Ah. [Scene: Monica's Restaurant Kitchen, she's cooking as Phoebe enters.] Phoebe: Oh hey! Monica: Hey! How'd your date go with Jake? Phoebe: Oh, great! We couldn't keep our eyes off each other all night and then every once and a while y'know, he'd kinda lean over and stroke my hair and touch my neck. (Does that to Monica.) Monica: Okay, stop it Phoebe, you're getting me all tingly. Phoebe: (laughs) All I could think of was y'know, "Is he gonna kiss me? Is he gonna kiss me?" Monica: And did he? Phoebe: I'm a lady Monica, I don't kiss and tell. But this hickey speaks for itself. (She starts to open up her blouse.) Monica: Okay-okay, I got it. I got it. Phoebe: I just like him so much that I just feel like I've had 10 drinks today and I've only had six. Monica: Oh, I haven't had that feeling since I first started going out with Chandler. Wow, I'm never gonna have that feeling again am I? Phoebe: You sound like a guy. Monica: No, a guy would be saying, "I'm never gonna get to sleep with anyone else." Oh my God! I'm never gonna get to sleep with anyone else! I've been so busy planning the wedding that I forgot about all the things that I'd be giving up! I mean, I...I'm never gonna have a first kiss again. Phoebe: You'll have a last kiss. [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is helping Joey with his tie.] Ross: Can I ask you something? Have you ever had a guy have a crush on you? Joey: Is that why you wanted to tie my tie? Ross: There's this kid in my class who said he's in love with me. Joey: Whoa! Rachel: (entering from her room) Whoa what? Joey: Ross has a boyfriend. Ross: I do-I do not have a boyfriend. There's a guy in one of my classes who-who has a crush on me. Rachel: Really? Ross: Yeah! I don't know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of...sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.) Rachel: Not right now. Ross: It-it-The point is my natural charisma has made him fail his midterm. Rachel: Oh, see now I feel bad for the kid! I had a crush on a teacher once and it was so hard! Y'know you-I couldn't concentrate and I blushed every time he looked at me. I mean come on, you remember what's it's like to be 19 and in love. Ross: Yeah. I guess I can cut him some slack. Rachel: Yeah. Joey: How'd you get over that teacher? Rachel: I didn't. I got under him. Joey: (To Ross) Problem solved. [Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is saying good-bye to her boyfriend Jake at the door to Central Perk.] Jake: Bye Phoebe. Phoebe: Okay bye. (They kiss.) Jake: All right. Bye. (Backs out the door.) Phoebe: Bye! (Phoebe goes over and joins Monica on the couch.) We said good-bye at the door so as not to flaunt our new love. Monica: Phoebe, it's okay. You don't have to tip toe around me. I-I've been thinking about it and umm, y'know what? I'm okay about not having that new relationship feeling... Jake: (yelling through the window to Phoebe) I miss you already!! Phoebe: (yelling back) I miss you too!!!! (He walks away.) Monica: See? That's what I mean. I mean that, that's great! But I wouldn't trade in what I have for that. I mean I'm gonna be with Chandler for the rest of my life, and that's what makes me happy. (Chandler approaches.) Hey sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is don't you think? Chandler: Oh totally! (Holds up his finger.) Pull my finger. [Scene: The 2001 Soapie Awards, Joey's category is up next and the presenter walks to the podium.] Announcer: Presenting the award for Favorite Returning Male Character is McKensize... [Cut to Joey and Rachel's table.] Joey: (To Rachel) This is it! This is my category. Rachel: I know! My God! Do you have your speech? Joey: Yeah, I got my speech! Rachel: Do you got your gracious loser face? Joey: Yeah. (Does it.) Rachel: Now Joey remember, if you win you have to hug me! You hug me! Joey: Okay. Can I squeeze your ass? Rachel: On TV?! Yeah! Joey: 'Kay! [Cut to the presenter.] The Presenter: ...in the category of Favorite Returning Male Character the nominees are: John Wheeler from General Hospital (Applause), Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless (Applause), Dunkin Harrington from Passions (Applause), and Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives (Applause). And the Soapie goes to...(She opens the envelope)...Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless! Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that he's on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: The 2001 Soapie Awards, the announcer is introducing the next presenter.] Announcer: Presenting the award for Favorite Supporting Actress is Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives. (Applause as Joey angrily walks to the podium and eyes the trophy.) Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is...(Opens the envelope)...Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldn't be with us tonight so I'll be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And I'm sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. She'd also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel who's sittin' right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.) [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are entering.] Rachel: Joey! Why did we have to rush out of there so fast?! Joey: Rach we had to get out of there because, look what I won! (He whips out the award for Best Supporting Actress that he accepted for Jessica.) Rachel: Oh my God you stole her award! Joey: No-no! No, I'm accepting it on her behalf. (He puts it up above the TV to display it.) Rachel: Joey I don't think you know what behalf means. Joey: Sure I do! It's a verb! As in, "I behalfin' it!" Rachel: Joey, you have got to take this back! Joey: But why?! I should've won one and I really want it and she didn't even care enough to come to the thing! It could also be a Grammy. Rachel: (looking at the award) No! Joey! Joey: Come on Rach! No one saw me take it! There was a whole table full of 'em. Rachel: Do you really want an award you didn't win? Joey: No! I want an award I did win! But nobody's giving me any of those! Plus-Hey Rach, if-if I put it up there (Points to the TV) right? When people come over they'll see it and they'll think I won it. Rachel: Joey is says Best Supporting Actress! Joey: I can scratch that right off. Rachel: Joey no, this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You don't want to win an award this way. You're very talented. And someday you're gonna win one of these for real and that one is gonna mean something. Joey: All right! Rachel: All right? (He sets the award down.) Thank you. Joey: I'll take it back tomorrow. Rachel: Thank you. (He goes into his room and closes the door. Rachel goes to pick it up and...) Joey: (opening his door) If I can't have it you can't have it! (Rachel walks away angrily.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Ross's Classroom, he is writing on the board and Alan is coming in to see him.] Lewis: Professor Geller? Ross: (turning towards him) Yes Mr. Lewis, how can I help you? Lewis: I know I didn't do well on my midterms and stuff but, I was kinda hoping you could change my grade. Ross: And why exactly would I do that? (Goes back to writing on the board.) Lewis: Because I'm in love with you. Ross: (turning around and dragging the chalk down the board) What?! Lewis: Yeah, I'm all...in love with you and stuff. So could you change my grade? Ross: No! Lewis: Well why not you changed Ned's grade! Ross: Well that's different! Okay? Because he, he was actually in love with me! Lewis: No he's not! He's totally yanking your chain! He's done this with three other teachers! Ross: What? Lewis: He's got a girlfriend! Ross: I can't believe someone would do that for a grade. Lewis: I know! It's awful. I love you. (Ross glares at him.) [Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Monica enters.] Monica: Have you seen Chandler? Phoebe: No. Why? Monica: 'Cause I just keeping thinking about all these things that I'm not gonna have and it's freaking me out. I don't know what to do about it. Phoebe: Okay, don't sweat it. (Looking around her.) Chandler is nowhere around so go ahead get it out of your system. That guy's cute. (Points to a guy sitting behind Monica.) Monica: Phoebe! Come on I'm serious! I just got to talk to him about all this. Phoebe: No that is the last thing you want to do! Monica: Why? Phoebe: Because you're marrying him! Monica: You gotta help me out here Pheebs. Phoebe: All right, I've never been engaged and I've never really been married, but I can only tell you what my mother told me. Whenever you have doubts or fears or anxieties about a relationship, do not communicate them to your husband. Monica: So I'm not supposed to share my doubts and fears with the guy I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with? Phoebe: That is correct! Yes, you're supposed to take all of that stuff and put it in a little box in your mind and then lock it up tight. Monica: Your mother told you this? Phoebe: Yes! Monica: The woman that got married a bunch of times and killed herself when you were 13? Phoebe: Oh my God! You're right! Go! (Monica starts to leave.) Go tell Chandler! Hurry before it's too late! Wait no! (Monica stops.) Does this also mean putting out doesn't get you love? (Monica is shocked.) [Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey and Rachel are there to give Jessica her award.] Rachel: I cannot believe I'm gonna meet Jessica Ashley! Joey: Okay wait-wait p-please be cool! Okay? I work with this woman. Rachel: Okay, I'm totally cool! (She coolly knocks on the door) Jessica Ashley: Come in. (The enter.) Joey: Hey Jessica. Rachel: (coolly) Hey Jess. Joey: Ah, this is my friend Rachel. Jessica Ashley: Hi. Rachel: 'Sup? (Joey glares at her.) Joey: Uh listen, here's your Soapie. I accepted it for ya. (Hands it to her.) Jessica Ashley: (shocked) Oh my God! I won! Do you have any idea what this means?! (She rolls her eyes and throws it onto the couch.) Joey: Well, that-that-that's it? You're gonna, you're gonna put it on your self or anything? Jessica Ashley: No, I try to save that for real awards. Now, if you'll excuse me. (She exits.) Joey: (To Rachel) Take it back? Rachel: Absolutely. Joey: Y-y-yeah! (As they start to leave, Rachel pauses and steals a vase with flowers in it.) Yeah you do. (They exit.) [Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is talking to Chandler.] Monica: Honey, as we get closer to the wedding, is there anything that you would like to talk about or share? Chandler: Okay. Well, I think the centerpieces are too big Monica: You're wrong! The centerpieces are fine! Do you ever get scared at all? Chandler: Kinda. They're really big. Monica: Doesn't it ever just freak you out that-that you're never gonna be with anybody new again? Chandler: What? Monica: Just, I love you so much. Just...It's just sometimes it bothers me that I'm never gonna have that feeling. Y'know when you meet someone for the first time and it's new and exciting? Y'know that rush? Chandler: No. No, see when I first meet somebody it's uh it's mostly panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating. Monica: Okay, but all right you're a guy, does it not freak you that you're never gonna sleep with anybody else? Chandler: Sleeping with somebody new, anxiety, panic, and I'm afraid even more sweating. Monica: Even with me? Chandler: I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our relationship. (Monica laughs.) Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be together for the rest of our lives. Monica: Really? Chandler: Well yeah! But now that I know that you're having these thoughts, I'm back to panic, anxiety, and uh I'm definitely gonna need some kind of sports drink. Monica: Come here! Come here! (They hug.) Sweetie you don't have to worry. No, besides y'know what? I'm gonna have a lot of new things with you. The first time we buy a house. Our first kid. Our first grandkid... Chandler: (hoarsely) Water! Water! Water! [Scene: Ross's classroom, he has just finished his lecture and the students are filing out.] Ross: Uh Mr. Morse, can I speak to you for a moment? Morse: (walking up) That was a great lecture today. Did you get a little hair cut? Ross: Uh-hmm, yeah-yeah do you like it? Do-do you looove it? I just want you to know that I'm changing your grade back. Morse: What?! Why? Ross: 'Cause I know what you're trying to pull here. Okay? It's not gonna work. Morse: I'm not trying to pull anything. Look I love you dude. Ross: Y'know what? I-I'm not even gonna talk about this. Okay? This little thing is over. I know you have a girlfriend! Okay-(Ned looks shocked)-Yeah! And I know about the other professors! How do you think that makes me feel Ned?! You used me! You don't love me and you never did! (Ross turns around to make a grand exit but runs into two colleagues.) Ah Professor Winston, Professor Fredrickson, I'll be right with you. (To Ned) Don't make this worse and I'll give you a C. (To the professors) Shall we? (They leave.) Ending Credits [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering.] Phoebe: Rach? Rachel: I'll be out in a second. (Phoebe notices the Soapie on the counter.) Phoebe: Oh. (Picks it up.) It's just so unexpected! I...I uh...Boy I'll tell you it's just such an honor to be nominated for a Nobel Prize and y'know to win one for a massage. Especially after having just won a Tony award for best actress in... Rachel: (entering from her room) Honey, we have to go. Our reservations are at 8:00. Phoebe: ...in Reservations at 8:00 by Neil Simon. (To an imaginary Neil Simon) Thank-thank you Neil. Thank you for the words. (Blows him a kiss.) Rachel: Okay honey, you can finish this later we're gonna be late. We gotta go. Phoebe: Please, don't play the music. Just uh one more. LIVE FROM NEW YORK! IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!!

Plan: A: Joey; Q: Who is a sore loser after being nominated for a "Soapie" award? A: a different award; Q: What does Joey refuse to give to a co-star? A: the actress; Q: Who does Joey keep the award from? A: a higher test grade; Q: What does a male student angle for by claiming he loves Ross? A: Another student; Q: Who reveals that the guy actually is straight? A: the same ploy; Q: What did the student use on other professors? A: the student; Q: Who did Ross give a failing grade to? A: a conversation; Q: What did Ross' colleagues overhear that made it seem like Ross and the student dated? Summary: Joey proves to be a sore loser after being nominated for a "Soapie" award. When he accepts a different award on behalf of a co-star, he is unwilling to hand it over, later keeping it when the actress considers it insignificant. A male student angles for a higher test grade by claiming he loves Ross. Another student reveals that the guy actually is straight, and has used the same ploy on other professors. Ross then gives the student a failing grade, but ends up giving him a "C" after some of Ross' colleagues overhear a conversation sounding like Ross and the student dated.

5:15pm - 5:40pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: INT. EXHIBITION VAULT (A man wearing a black uniform lies still at the foot of several glass cases. IAN, who is alone, crouches down by him. He looks in the nearest case and, seeing something inside, desperately attempts to open it. The black gloved hand of an unseen assailant brings a club down on his head and he collapses. The figure places the club in IAN'S hand before moving to the case. By opening a side panel it removes the object which is none other than the final key. An alarm bell sounds. IAN lies on the floor, unconscious.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2: INT. EXHIBITION VAULT (LATER) (IAN comes to and rises, groaning and rubbing his head. The alarm has stopped now. He goes over to the cabinet only to find that the key is gone.) TARRON: Do you want to tell me where you've hidden it? (IAN whirls around to see that a dark-haired youngish man, wearing a similar black uniform to the man who was on the floor, is seated on the far side of the room in front of a series of display cabinets containing regalia and other ornaments.) IAN: Who are you? TARRON: My name is Tarron. I'm an interrogator in the guardian division. Do you feel well enough to talk? IAN: (Rubbing his neck and head.) Well my head's pretty sore. What happened here? TARRON: I'm waiting for you to tell me. IAN: Me? I don't know much. I just came through that door. TARRON: It was unlocked? IAN: It ... was ajar. I saw the body on the floor, bent down to have a look and ... someone hit me on the head from behind. (TARRON stands up.) TARRON: You could not've come through that door unless the guard on duty in here let you in. IAN: It was open, I've already told you. TARRON: This is a maximum security vault. No one is admitted until they have undergone a complete probity check. There's no record of you ever having completed such a check. IAN: Well of course there isn't, I've never been here before. TARRON: However, you did get inside. I must assume that you either tricked the guard there or you were in league with him. IAN: What...? What are you talking about? I told you how I got in. TARRON: (Sceptically.) Yes. And I'm recording all your answers. (He holds up before IAN a small electronic box that he wears on a strap over his shoulder.) TARRON: Now do you feel well enough? Are you going to tell me the truth? IAN: Yes well, as far as I can, but... TARRON: Well let's be orderly about this. Name? IAN: (Reluctantly.) Ian Chesterton. TARRON: You are a visitor to this district? IAN: Yes. TARRON: Your work? IAN: I'm a teacher, science. TARRON: Hmm. You know the purpose of the micro-key? (IAN just rubs his head and groans.) TARRON: No reply. It would make my report complete if you would tell me how you got rid of the micro-key. IAN: I didn't get rid of it. I never had it. I saw it in that glass case before someone hit me on the back of the head. TARRON: While you were unconscious, my men searched the room. They searched you and the body of the guard. They didn't find it. Now, what did you do with it? IAN: (Frustrated.) I didn't do anything with it. I've told you all I know. TARRON: (Sceptically.) All right. (He goes over to the huge steel door to the vault and picks up a phone receiver.) TARRON: Open your side, we're coming out. (The door begins to swing open, revealing another guard dressed similarly to TARRON.) IAN: Well, where are we going? TARRON: To the Guardian Building. You will be charged formally. IAN: Charged? With what? TARRON: Murder. IAN: (Shocked.) Just a minute - what's your name? Tarron? TARRON: Yes. IAN: This business is beginning to run away from me. I've told you the truth! (TARRON closes the door again.) TARRON: That isn't for me to decide. IAN: Well there was another man in here, I've got a lump on the back of my head to prove it! TARRON: The dead man could have hit you before he was killed. IAN: And I suppose I killed him when I was unconscious? TARRON: Well it does suggest you had an accomplice, I agree. So you had better produce him, that's my advice to you for what it's worth. IAN: I don't have to produce him, Tarron, you do! This is circumstantial evidence. You must prove that I did the actual killing! TARRON: That is contrary to our legal system. IAN: What? TARRON: I mean that you are already guilty of this crime. The burden of defence is entirely yours. You must prove without any shadow of doubt that you are innocent. Otherwise... IAN: Otherwise? TARRON: You will die. If you will take my advice you will find someone to speak for you at the tribunal. Do you know anybody in the city? IAN: Yes, I ... I do know someone, if I can find him. TARRON: Who is he? IAN: Who? (He chuckles.) He's a doctor. [SCENE_BREAK] 3: INT. COURTROOM RECEPTION (BARBARA is seated at the reception desk opposite another of the black uniformed personnel called LARN.) LARN: Permission has been granted for you to attend the court proceedings. BARBARA: Thank you. LARN: But I'm to tell you there must be no disturbances of any kind. The laws are very rigid. Offenders can be sent for one year to the glass factories in the desert, instantly and without trial. BARBARA: I understand. LARN: Chief Enquirer Tarron has arranged for you to speak to your friend but you do understand that you mustn't give him any... packets, or articles not previously examined by me, yes? (BARBARA smiles and nods.) LARN: Good. (BARBARA goes over to another wall and sits next to ALTOS. SUSAN and SABETHA come through an archway towards them.) BARBARA: Any news? (ALTOS stands.) SUSAN: No, not a sign of him anywhere. SABETHA: Several people saw him only two days ago. ALTOS: Was that before or after Ian was arrested? SUSAN: Well, after as far as we can work out. ALTOS: (Sighs.) I haven't been able to find anything out about my friend Eprim, either. BARBARA: Well we've got permission to see Ian anyway. (SUSAN sits in ALTOS'S seat.) SUSAN: Oh good. Can't we make a dash for it? BARBARA: No, it's too dangerous. (IAN is escorted into the room by TARRON. They rush over to him.) BARBARA: Ian! SABETHA: How are you? (TARRON forces him to sit.) IAN: Oh, they're treating me well enough. But have you found the Doctor yet? BARBARA: No. There isn't a sight or sound of him anywhere. IAN: We must find him Barbara, we must! The laws in this country are a mockery. (A door on the far side of the room shuts. A familiar figure has entered the room.) DOCTOR: I quite agree with you, my boy! IAN: Doctor! SUSAN: Grandfather! (She runs over and hugs him. The others surround him, apart from IAN.) BARBARA: How did you get here? ALTOS: We've been looking everywhere for you! SUSAN: I don't care. I'm just glad we're together again. DOCTOR: Yes, so am I, dear child, so am I. However, we have some important work to attend to. Excuse me. (He walks over to IAN.) DOCTOR: Chesterton, you and I must have a talk. IAN: (Slightly panicked.) We haven't got much time to talk, Doctor. In a moment I have to go in there and face an accusation of murder. I need a man to defend me. DOCTOR: I am that man! (SUSAN looks up at her Grandfather with pride.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4: INT. COURTROOM (At one end of this large room, IAN stands alone at a small table. To his left is a larger table behind which is the prosecutor, EYESEN. At an identical table to the right, the DOCTOR, SUSAN, BARBARA, ALTOS and SABETHA are gathered. Behind them sits a large crowd. Three bearded JUDGES wearing ornate black robes and white headdresses emerge from a doorway and, after bowing to the court, seat themselves at a raised table opposite IAN. The SENIOR JUDGE in the middle speaks.) SENIOR JUDGE: Our decision upon the report of Chief Enquirer Tarron, is that the prisoner, Ian Chesterton, is guilty of murder and that his sentence is death, the said sentence to be administered three days after the end of this hearing... Unless ... unless the representative for the accused should show positive proof why the execution should not be carried out. Will you stand up? (The DOCTOR stands.) SENIOR JUDGE: Representative for the defence, you have a grave duty. You have offered your services in this matter which complies with the laws of the city of Millennius in that any person may speak on behalf of another. Are you acquainted with our laws? DOCTOR: Er, yes. I have studied some, my lord. SENIOR JUDGE: Every latitude will be allowed to you, and if you are at fault, I will give you directions. DOCTOR: Thank you. (He sits down.) SENIOR JUDGE: The representative for the court, Eyesen, has spoken his facts. You may now reply. (The DOCTOR stands again.) DOCTOR: My lords, I cannot defend a man when I have not considered every aspect of the case. I must have time to examine witnesses, read statements and to prepare my case. EYESEN: I object most strongly. (The crowd murmurs ... ) SENIOR JUDGE: The demand is reasonable in itself. The crime of murder in Millennius is in itself unusual. (As the crowd murmurs again, the SENIOR JUDGE confers with the other JUDGES, both of whom nod.) SENIOR JUDGE: (To the DOCTOR.) Then I grant you two days. DOCTOR: Thank you, my lord. (The JUDGES retire and go back through the door. EYESEN goes over to the DOCTOR.) EYESEN: (Coldly.) I congratulate you. DOCTOR: Thank you. (They shake hands without warmth.) EYESEN: (Smoothly.) It will not alter the outcome. DOCTOR: We shall see. (EYESEN retreats as IAN approaches.) IAN: Well done, Doctor! DOCTOR: Er, I have been starting and studied the laws ever since I heard that Eprim had been murdered. ALTOS: (Shocked.) Eprim? IAN: He was your friend. ALTOS: Yes. You found him, Doctor? DOCTOR: Oh yes, I had met him and arranged to take the micro-key but something must have happened, that's why he tried to take the key earlier than we had arranged. SABETHA: And he was killed? DOCTOR: Yes. He must have told his plans to someone else. And that someone else killed him and took the key. IAN: Then all we have to do is find out who took the key and why! ALTOS: In two days? DOCTOR: Yes, we shall need every minute of that. Now, we must all take a task on. Murder, I gather, is very rare here. (To ALTOS and SABETHA.) Now I want both of you to go to the library and find out all the case histories you can. Facts and figures. ALTOS: And legal sentences! SABETHA: And reasons for people being found not guilty. DOCTOR: Yes. Yes, quite. Now off you go, both of you, and meet me back here in three hours. ALTOS: Right. (They head off.) SUSAN: What can I do, grandfather? DOCTOR: Well, you, my child, and er, Barbara can be my detectives. (To IAN.) And you my friend... IAN: Yes, what can I do, Doctor? DOCTOR: Trust me. [SCENE_BREAK] 5: INT. LIBRARY (SABETHA is watching ALTOS leaf through a book in front of some old bookshelves. He replaces it and starts reading another.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6: INT. EXHIBITION VAULT (The DOCTOR, SUSAN and BARBARA are interviewing TARRON at the scene of the crime.) TARRON: There was a mace beside the body and there was blood on it. Chesterton was on the floor, unconscious. Either he slipped and bumped his head or Eprim had got a blow in before he died. BARBARA: And the key was gone, you say? TARRON: Yes, and that's the only element of the case I don't understand. My men did a heat reflector search of this room. It is absolutely certain that the micro-key is not here. It is equally certain that it has not been taken from here. DOCTOR: Oh, come now Tarron, we're not dealing in magic. You know, it's obvious to me that the key must have left this room. TARRON: No, every person that came in here was checked by the Orza ray scanner as they went out. If anyone had the key on them, the scanner would have detected it. SUSAN: Supposing the murderer hid the key on the body? TARRON: The body was searched. It wasn't there. DOCTOR: Then would you mind telling us what happened after the alarm bell went, please? (TARRON goes over to the door.) TARRON: Well, the relief guard was the first to reach the outside of the door. He was joined almost immediately by the, er, controller and a guardian who was on patrol outside. Now when I reached the door it was opened and you know what we found inside. SUSAN: (Perplexed.) That's fantastic, it couldn't disappear into thin air! DOCTOR: Precisely and I rather gather that when we discover its location we shall also discover the real identity of the murderer! TARRON: (Smirking.) But we know the murderer. It was Chesterton. DOCTOR: Mr. Tarron, I wonder if you'd mind leaving us alone for a few moments, we'd like to discuss the aspects of this case, mm? TARRON: Very well. DOCTOR: Thank you. (TARRON goes through the door and shuts it behind him. The DOCTOR begins pacing around in concentration.) DOCTOR: Yes, mm, mm ... BARBARA: Any ideas? Well? DOCTOR: Mmm? What? BARBARA: Have you any idea how the key got out of here? DOCTOR: (Dismissively.) Oh, elementary, elementary. SUSAN: Grandfather! Do you mean you know? I mean, how? Where? DOCTOR: All in good time, my child. The important thing is I believe I know who did the killing. BARBARA: But how? Tarron's been working on it all day, you've only been here a few minutes. DOCTOR: Mmm, you see Tarron never doubted that Chesteron was guilty. A grave error, yes, a very grave error! (Laughs.) SUSAN: Yes, whereas we know he's innocent. DOCTOR: Precisely, but someone did it and we also know there was a third man in the room. How he got in here, we shall know in a moment. Now, let us assume he was hiding, yes, yes, behind this door. Mmm. (He stands behind the door.) DOCTOR: Now Barbara, you imagine that you are Chesterton for a moment. Come here. (He points to the doorway and BARBARA stands in it.) DOCTOR: You, please, you look into the room, you see a body on the floor. What do you do? Mmm? BARBARA: Erm, I'd see if I could help. SUSAN: I'll be the body. (She lies down on the floor.) DOCTOR: Good. (To BARBARA.) Now let me see you do it. (BARBARA crouches down beside SUSAN.) DOCTOR: There's a weapon beside the body. Do you examine it? BARBARA: Yes. Yes, I think I would. DOCTOR: Good. Then you look up in front of you. And you see exactly what you came here for - the micro-key! (BARBARA stands and approaches the case just as IAN did before.) DOCTOR: Unbeknown to you, the third man comes out of hiding, creeps up behind you... (He comes up behind her and manoeuvres her somewhat brusquely to the floor.) DOCTOR: ...And you are smacked down so. Now he can take what he came here for. He opens the case, lifts the key, the alarm bell sounds. Now, he only has a few seconds so he conceals the key, runs to the door, opens it, gets out and then closes it. But, he can't go any further because, already, the security guards and officials are on their way. So, (Chuckles.) he decides to pretend that he is first on the scene. SUSAN: The relief guard! DOCTOR: Yes! BARBARA: Yes, of course! That's why the guard inside let him in the first place, he knew him, even expected him! DOCTOR: Yes, he went in, killed his colleague, heared Chesterton into ... in the hall, hid behind the door and the rest we know! SUSAN: That must be how it happened, I'll go and tell Tarron. (She makes for the door but the DOCTOR stops her.) DOCTOR: Ah! My dear child, this is only a theory. We must have proof. BARBARA: But surely if you know where the key is, that's proof? DOCTOR: If Tarron were to know that now, his case against Chesterton would be complete. I can't improve at this very moment... I can't prove at this very moment that Chesterton didn't hide it in its present location. BARBARA: Oh, what do we do then? DOCTOR: I have a little errand for you and I think you will find it very interesting. Mmm? (He laughs as they look at each other perplexed.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6: INT. AYDAN AND KALA'S APARTMENT (An elegant woman, KALA, attired in a long white dress, is standing in the living room of her home when a buzzer sounds. It sounds again and she goes to open a door, revealing SUSAN and BARBARA.) KALA: Oh. Please come in. BARBARA: Thank you. KALA: I'm afraid my husband isn't here at the moment. Do sit down. (They sit on a couch.) BARBARA: I did want to talk to your husband. I thought there might be some facts he'd overlooked. KALA: I'm sure he'd want to help but he's already told you everything he knows. BARBARA: Well there might be some small thing, something he thought unimportant. KALA: The guardians are very thorough, you know. Anyway, he'd want the murderer to be caught. Eprim was a good friend of his. He wouldn't conceal anything. BARBARA: No, of course not. Er, tell me, er, why would anyone want to steal the micro-key? KALA: Because there are only five of them in the entire universe. It was brought to the city years ago by a man called Arbitan. It was the sworn duty of the elders to protect it. SUSAN: So they'd pay highly to recover it. KALA: Yes. But you know all this. Why else would your friend steal it? SUSAN: But he didn't... (The door opens and a man bursts in. It is AYDAN, KALA'S husband.) AYDAN: I had to go to the Guardian Building again. They're asking questions about... (He stops as he sees SUSAN and BARBARA.) AYDAN: (Coldly.) You're one of the people with Chesterton. What are you doing here? BARBARA: (Rising.) I want to talk to you. AYDAN: I have nothing to say to you. Get out! KALA: (Warningly.) Aydan? AYDAN: I don't want people prying into my affairs. Has she been asking questions about me? SUSAN: Not as many as my grandfather will ask when he calls you as witness. (AYDAN rounds on SUSAN and she backs away to BARBARA'S arms.) AYDAN: Get out! You heard me. Get out! SUSAN: I thought you might like to know that we know where the key is hidden! BARBARA: Susan! AYDAN: (Alarmed.) But you couldn't know where it is! I... (He breaks off, realising that he has said too much.) AYDAN: Yes. Yes, you know where it's hidden because Chesterton told you where he hid it. And now you're trying to throw suspicion on me. Well it won't work. Now get out before I... BARBARA: ...Before you what? SUSAN: Kill us like you killed Eprim? (He raises his arm to strike SUSAN but KALA gently forces it down. He walks off in disgust.) KALA: You'd better go. (Without a word they go out.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7: INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE THE APARTMENT (BARBARA and SUSAN pause and listen at the door.) AYDAN: (OOV.) What were they doing here? KALA: (OOV.) Just asking a few questions, nothing more. AYDAN: (OOV.) What did she mean about the m ... the key? KALA: (OOV.) I don't know what she meant but you shouldn't have lost your temper like that, it was very foolish of you. AYDAN: (OOV: Furious.) Don't you talk to me like that! (There is a muffled thump and KALA screams. SUSAN and BARBARA look at each other. BARBARA peers through the keyhole ... ) [SCENE_BREAK] 8: INT. AYDAN AND KALA'S APARTMENT ( ... and sees a hand press some buttons on a keypad of a communications device.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9: INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE THE APARTMENT (They hear someone coming and are forced away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 10: INT. AYDAN AND KALA'S APARTMENT (The call from the communications device is answered ... .) EYESEN: (OOV.) Eyesen here. [SCENE_BREAK] 11: INT. EYESEN'S OFFICE (EYESEN picks up a rod-like device attached to the phone and speaks into it.) EYESEN: Don't say any more. There are people here. I'll take it on the personal. (He presses a button and listens to the rod-like device.) EYESEN: All right, go ahead. (Pause.) You really think she knows something? (Pause.) You mean that our young friend may not be able to go through with it? (Pause.) Well listen carefully. And I'll tell you ... what you may have to do... [SCENE_BREAK] 12: INT. COURTROOM (The court is assembled in the same way as before, except for EYESEN who is standing in the middle, holding the mace. Within the seated crowd watching the proceedings are AYDAN and KALA.) EYESEN: This mace, a weapon used in primitive times by vicious savage war-makers. The same savagery that wielded it then lives on, in men like the accused! (IAN remains silent.) EYESEN: Members of the tribunal, the evidence already offered is more than enough to ensure the conviction of this man but add to it, the fact that under psychometric examination, this mace was found to have been held in the right-hand of the prisoner. (The audience mutter amongst themselves.) EYESEN: I need say no more. That concludes the evidence for the prosecution. (Again the audience mutter. SUSAN and BARBARA are sat next to AYDAN and KALA.) SENIOR JUDGE: We will now hear a statement from the representative of the accused and convicted. (The DOCTOR is already standing.) DOCTOR: My lords, let me begin by saying that the murderer is without any doubt, in this chamber! (Both EYESEN and AYDAN look concerned as the crowd mutter their astonishment.) DOCTOR: The trouble is he's not under arrest (He points dramatically and shouts.) but my young friend here is! SENIOR JUDGE: But... can you substantiate this? DOCTOR: I can, my lord. You will know his identity in a moment. I will now call my first witness. (To SABETHA who is sat next to him with ALTOS.) Thank you ... thank you. (SABETHA stands and makes her way to the centre of the room. AYDAN and KALA make a short whispered exchange. The DOCTOR holds up a picture of the key.) DOCTOR: This, my lords, is the reproduction of the stolen micro-key. (To SABETHA.) Do you recognise this, young lady? SABETHA: Yes. DOCTOR: And do you know where it is now? SABETHA: Yes, I do. DOCTOR: Then, please tell the tribunal where its present location is. (She turns to the JUDGES and produces a micro-key.) SABETHA: It is here. (The crowd mutters very loudly. BARBARA and SUSAN smile at their reaction.) DOCTOR: Where did you get it? SABETHA: It was given to me by the man who killed the guard. DOCTOR: Is he here? SABETHA: Yes. DOCTOR: Then please point him out to us. (SABETHA looks and the audience then points to AYDAN.) SABETHA: There, sitting in the front row. (AYDAN stands up with a start.) AYDAN: (Protesting.) But she can't have found it! I... (He subsides as he realises what he has said. Several other people rise around him. He tries to make a dash for the door but SUSAN and BARBARA manage to hold him as the crowd surrounds him.) AYDAN: (Panicked.) All right. I'll tell you everything. I'm not in this alone. They made me do it! I ... I'll tell you... (There is a flash and with a cry he drops to the floor. The crowd gasps. After a tense silence, KALA falls onto the body and begins sobbing.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13: INT. COURTROOM (LATER) (The DOCTOR is explaining what he did to the SENIOR JUDGE and EYESEN.) DOCTOR: And so you see my lords, when Sabetha was showing the court the micro-key, it wasn't in actual fact the one that was stolen from the vault. SENIOR JUDGE: You say you have three of the micro-keys in your possession. DOCTOR: Yes, my lord, and w ... we've returned to find the last one. Then they would all be returned to Arbitan. SENIOR JUDGE: The fact remains that the fourth key is missing. EYESEN: Still in the place where it was hidden by the murderer, Chesterton. DOCTOR: Oh, come now, surely you don't think that he's still guilty? I admit, I resorted to a subterfuge when Sabetha, er, accused Aydan of taking the key, but I think the results justifies the means. SENIOR JUDGE: There are a number of other points which we'd like to see cleared up. DOCTOR: Yes, my lord. SENIOR JUDGE: Now first of all... (Meanwhile, TARRON is talking to IAN and BARBARA.) TARRON: Yes, and I'm having psychometric tests made on the weapon that killed Aydan. IAN: What exactly are these psychometric tests? TARRON: It's the sign psychometry. Experts are able to define from an object the characteristics of the person who last had contact with that object. BARBARA: Well that sounds an improvement on fingerprints. TARRON: (Mystified.) Fingerprints? BARBARA: Er, it's not important. IAN: Well, whoever killed Aydan must have been implicated in the theft. If only he'd lived he might have told us everything. BARBARA: Well it was his wife I felt sorry for. TARRON: The doctors have given her oblivator drugs and sent her home to rest. She was hysterical. (A dull chiming begins.) TARRON: You'd better resume your places, the tribunal's about to start again. (They all take their places as before. ALTOS notices an empty place next to BARBARA.) ALTOS: Where's Susan? BARBARA: Oh, she's gone to get Ian's statement. ALTOS: Oh. SENIOR JUDGE: (To everyone.) It is clear that Aydan was involved in either the theft or the killing. It is also clear that he had an accomplice. Bearing in mind that the accused came here with the express purpose of recovering the micro-key, and remembering the evidence against him, his guilt becomes even more obvious. Will the prosecutor please summarise? EYESEN: Despite the dramatics and hysterics of recent events, very little has changed. I submit that the accused, did by threat or coercion involve Aydan in the murder and robbery. His last, dying words were, 'They made me do it.' They were the accused and his accomplices. They were standing near him when he was killed. (LARN enters and whispers something to BARBARA. She, ALTOS and SABETHA make a discreet exit.) EYESEN: One of them is responsible for his death. I submit that the defence has offered no new evidence and the sentence of the tribunal should be carried out. SENIOR JUDGE: The tribunal concurs. Though it has deprived us of more detailed evidence, the unfortunate death of Guardian Aydan has surely not affected the issue. (He looks to the other two JUDGES who shake their heads in agreement.) SENIOR JUDGE: We will now hear a statement... a closing statement from the defence. (The DOCTOR stands.) DOCTOR: I beg the indulgence of the tribunal and ask for time to produce new evidence. SENIOR JUDGE: Denied. No purpose would be served in delaying these proceedings any longer. If you have nothing to add, the accused will be taken from here and executed in the prescribed manner. (An exited murmur arises from the audience. IAN looks at the DOCTOR who shakes his head.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12: INT. COURTROOM RECEPTION (LARN has brought BARBARA, ALTOS and SABETHA here.) BARBARA: What is it? LARN: A messenger brought this for you. (He hands her a slip of paper.) BARBARA: Oh, thank you. LARN: I have to get back inside. Will you excuse me? (BARBARA nods as she unfolds the paper and he departs.) SABETHA: What is it? BARBARA: It says, "There will be another death if you disclose where the key is hidden." (ALTOS snatches it.) ALTOS: What! Barbara, do you realise what this means? It proves that someone else was involved! We must tell Tarron and the Doctor quickly. BARBARA: Yes, but what does it mean "another death"? Who's death? (A sound emits from a communications device on LARN'S desk. LARN returns, picks up the receiver rod and listens briefly. He offers it to BARBARA.) LARN: Someone wishes to speak to you. (BARBARA takes it.) BARBARA: Hello? (SUSAN'S voice can be heard at the other end.) SUSAN: (OOV.) Aah ... Yes, I want to speak to Barbara Wright. BARBARA: Susan? SUSAN: (OOV.) Barbara, they made me call you. BARBARA: Who, Susan? Who? SUSAN: (OOV: Terrified.) Barbara, listen there was...ah! (The sound cuts out.) BARBARA: Susan? Susan? Are you there, Susan? SUSAN: (OOV: Quietly.) They're going to kill me. (A look of alarm crosses BARBARA'S face.) BARBARA: Susan...? (The line is cut off ... )

Plan: A: The TARDIS; Q: What ship arrives on the planet Marinus? A: the planet Marinus; Q: Where does the TARDIS arrive on an island of glass surrounded by a sea of acid? A: The travellers; Q: Who is forced by the elderly Arbitan to retrieve four of the five operating keys to a machine called the Conscience of Marinus? A: the keeper; Q: What is Arbitan's role in the Conscience of Marinus? A: their own sinister purposes; Q: What do the evil Yartek and his Voord warriors plan to use the Conscience of Marinus for? Summary: The TARDIS arrives on the planet Marinus on an island of glass surrounded by a sea of acid. The travellers are forced by the elderly Arbitan to retrieve four of the five operating keys to a machine called the Conscience of Marinus, of which he is the keeper. These have been hidden in different locations around the planet to prevent them falling into the hands of the evil Yartek and his Voord warriors, who plan to seize the machine and use its originally benevolent mind-influencing power for their own sinister purposes.

[The Woods] (Bonnie is in a cemetary, surrounded by tombstones of her famyly and ancesters. She finally sees a coffin. She gets closer to it and touches it. She's about to open it when Klaus arrives. She turns herself) Klaus: I figured out how to open it. Can you? (He rushes over her and bites her. She screams) (Bonnie is in a coffin. She hits it and then takes her phone to have some light) Bonnie: Let me out! (She punches the top) Bonnie: Please! Oh, my God, oh, my God (She casts a spell. She punches the top again when she suddenly hears footsteps from outside) Bonnie: Hey! I'm in here! I'm in here! I'm in here! (She screams and freaks out but someone finally opens the coffin. It's a woman) [Abandonned Witch House] (Bonnie and Elena are downstairs, looking at the coffins) Bonnie: I've been having these dreams for days now. It's like the witches are trying to send me a message Elena: I just can't believe you guys have kept this from me this whole time Bonnie: Stefan thought if you knew where the coffins were, Klaus could threaten people to get the information out of you Elena: So these are the rest of his family? Bonnie: Yeah, Elijah and two others (She goes toward the 4th coffin) Bonnie: Now this one... Is the one we can't open. We don't know who's in it or what's in it, only that I think my dream's telling methat it'll help kill Klaus (Stefan arrives) Stefan: What the hell are you doing? Bonnie: I needed her to know about the coffin Stefan: And I needed you to keep her out of it, Bonnie Elena: So what are you going to do, Stefan? Are you going to kidnap me so that I won't tell anyone? Stefan: Don't tempt me, Elena Bonnie: I think I know who can open the coffin, Stefan. And I need Elena to help me find her Stefan: Find who? What are you talking about? Bonnie: I couldn't place her face at first (She takes something from her pocket) Bonnie: Then I realized... (She shows Elena a picture) Elena: Oh, my God, Bonnie (He takes the picture from Bonnie's hands. It's her when she was little, with her mom) Stefan: Who is this? Bonnie: It's my mom [Gilbert's House] (Bonnie and Elena are in the kitchen. Looking at files and pictures of women) Elena: Los alamitos? (She shows Bonnie a picture) Bonnie: Um, too old Elena: Honolulu? Bonnie: Ugh, I wish. How many of these are there? Elena: A lot. I asked the sheriff's office to pull up every single Abby Bennett in the country Bonnie: I know we haven't been able to really... That things have been weird because of Jeremy. So thank you for helping me with this. I know you have a lot to deal with Elena: There's nothing more important, Bonnie Bonnie: It's surreal. Having to track down a woman who bailed on her own kid Elena: You know you don't have to, right? Let Stefan obsess over opening up the coffin. It doesn't have to fall on you Bonnie: The coffin is spelled shut. That makes it a witch problem. So it does fall on me. I was bound to see my mother again sooner or later (Damon enters. He has a file in his hand) Damon: Sooner. Abby Bennett Wilson, Monroe, North Carolina. Born in Mystic Falls hospital, graduated Mystic Falls High, blah, blah, blah. A little compulsion helps to speed up the research process (He gives the file to Bonnie. She opens it and looks at the picture) Bonnie: This is her Damon: I call shotgun Elena: Yeah... no Damon: Why? You don't want me to hang out in the back with you? Elena: You're not coming, Damon Damon: Why? I'm the one who found her Elena: Ok, Damon, look, Bonnie hasn't seen her mom in over 15 years. We don't need your snarky commentary narrating the experience (He looks at her, pouts a little and smiles. Bonnie is looking at them) Bonnie: What's going on with you two? Damon: We kissed. Now it's weird. Have a great trip (He leaves. Elena looks at Bonnie) [Caroline's House] (Caroline arrives and goes in the living room. Tyler is waiting for her) Caroline: What are you doing here? Tyler: I came to apologize Caroline: Apologize? You bit me. I could have died. I think we're way past apologies, Tyler Tyler: That's the problem. Klaus told me to do it and I said no. And then, it just happened anyway. Like it was completely out of my control. That's why I had your mom call him (Bill rejoins them) Caroline: Daddy? Bill: Hi, Caroline Tyler: I thought since he could resist compulsion, maybe he could teach me to resist the sire bond (She looks at Bill) Caroline: Can you help him? Bill: I'm going to try Caroline: Why? Bill: Because he made a mistake. And now he wants to make good. And I understand that [Mystic Grill] (Alaric and Meredith are sitting at a table) Alaric: Do you want anything else? A beer? Meredith: Ah, I'd love one, but I've got rounds in 15 minutes. And a drunk doctor is a bad doctor Alaric: Well, that depends on what kind of drunk you are Meredith: Angry Alaric: Oh Meredith: Thanks for lunch Alaric: Yeah, sure. Ah, so, um, next time, dinner? Meredith: Yeah, that would be great Alaric: Cool. Take care Meredith: Bye. Thanks (She leaves. Damon arrives) Damon: Who's that? Alaric: My doctor Damon: She's a doctor? Ooh. What's her damage? Alaric: No damage Damon: Come on, Ric, it's a fact of life. A girl that hot, that smart...Damage Alaric: Well, you know, I'm looking for red flags. Her, uh, her ex called her a psycho case the other day Damon: Yeah, but if it comes from her ex, it doesn't count Alaric: I guess you're right. It's yours. I wonder what my exes would call me Damon: Nothing. They're all dead Alaric: Hmm. Well, her ex is the medical examiner, so he's dead-adjacent Damon: She dated the medical examiner? Alaric: Mm-hmm Damon: Well, I don't think he's dead-adjacent. I think he's just dead Alaric: What? Damon: Murdered. Sheriff's trying to keep a lid on it because he was staked in the chest like a vampire Alaric: Well, Meredith didn't say anything about that Damon: Well, red flag number two Alaric: Who do you think killed him? Damon: I don't know. But if I was a cop, your sexy doctor lady friend would definitely be a suspect [Salvatore's House] (Stefan enters the house. Klaus is in the living room, sitting in a chair and listening to music out loud. Stefan takes the remote and lowers the sound) Stefan: What are you doing here, Klaus? Klaus: Enjoying our stalemate Stefan: What do you want? Klaus: Question is, what do you want? My hybrids left town as you demanded, so please tell me what I need to do to get my family back Stefan: Well, ahem, see, Klaus... I'm not negotiating (He sits down next to him) Klaus: And you understand that holding them indefinitely is the same thing as dropping them in the ocean? Stefan: No, no, you leave Mystic Falls and then give me a call in a few years, and...We'll talk Klaus: I'm going to give you another chance. Just one more. Let's make a reasonable deal Stefan: Or what? You make one move, and I will... Klaus: Yes, that's right. Crazy Stefan. Mmm. How's that working out for you? Any friends left? (Stefan doesn't answer) [Bonnie's car] (Bonnie and Elena are road tripping) Bonnie: I just can't believe I'm actually going to see her. Or meet her. Sort of. Since I don't really remember her Elena: You don't really talk about her Bonnie: What's to say? She left, never wrote, never called. Not even when my grams died. Can we talk about you and Damon instead? Elena: I'm not talking about it. He kissed me. It's not going to happen again Bonnie: I mean... Was it good? Elena: It doesn't matter Bonnie: That means it was (Her phone rings. She looks at it) Bonnie: I told him I'd call him as soon as I got the address Elena: Ignore. Bonnie, you're about to see your mom for the first time in 15 years. I'm not letting anyone ruin that moment Bonnie: Yeah, but he's going to keep at it until I pick up Elena: Fine (She takes the phone and answers) Elena: What? Stefan: Where are you? Elena: Bonnie and I are going to spend the night at the lake house while we wait for sheriff Forbes to give us some more addresses Stefan: You're kidding me, right? Elena: No, Stefan, I'm not. We need a night off from your insanity Stefan: Klaus is getting antsy. He knows I'm stalling him. We need to move faster Elena: Well, we're doing everything we can. So could you maybe not call every 5 minutes? Stefan: Sure, Elena. Whatever you say (He hangs up. He's at her house looking at Abby's file) [Mystic Grill] (Klaus is at the bar, on the phone with his hybrid, Daniel) Klaus: How's life on the road? Daniel: Scenic. How's life in Mystic Falls without any hybrids? Klaus: Boring. For now Daniel: If you want any of us back, you just have to say the word Klaus: There's no need. I've been making friends with the town's civil servants. There's a deputy who's awfully chatty, but useful nonetheless. Are you clear on what you need to do? Daniel: I've got it covered [Abby Bennett's House] (Daniel knocks on the door. She opens) Abby: Can I help you? Daniel: Abby Bennett Wilson? Abby: That's me (He smiles) (Bonnie and Elena arrives at the house and parks in front of it) Elena: Cute house. Bonnie: Yeah, For the middle of nowhere Elena: You ready? Come on (They get out of the car and goes to the house. Elena rings the bell but no one answer so she's about to knock but a boy arrives. They jolt) Jamie: Hey there (Elena and Bonnie look at each other) Elena: Hey, we're looking for, um, Abby Wilson Jamie: She's not home. Is there anything I can do for you? Bonnie: That's ok, we can come back (He looks at her) Jamie: I'm sorry, but you look so familiar Bonnie: Yeah, Abby's my mom Jamie: Oh. I'm Jamie. Um, you guys want to come inside? Right this way (He opens the door. Elena looks at Bonnie, half smiling and they enter) (Bonnie and Elena are sitting at a table. Jamie opens the fridge) Jamie: You guys sure you don't want anything? We got fresh O.J., coconut water, some mango guava something Bonnie: Water's fine Jamie: Cool (He goes to the sink and comes back with two glass of water) Bonnie: So, ahem, are we, like, related? Jamie: Oh, no. Uh, Abby's not my mom (He gives them the glasses. Elena takes hers and looks at Bonnie) Elena: Oh. Good Jamie: Yeah, she, uh, she dated my old man back in the day. He was kind of a deadbeat, so when they broke up, she took me in. Put me through school. Didn't freak out when I totaled her car. Twice Bonnie: She sounds...Great Jamie: Yeah (Abby arrives) Abby: Jamie? Whose car's out front? (She enters the room and sees the girls) Bonnie: That's mine. I'm Bonnie. Your daughter Abby: Hello, Bonnie [Old Lockwood's Cellar] (Tyler is shirtless. Bill is tying him up. Caroline's here) Caroline: How do you know this is going to work? Bill: It's a process. It took decades to train myself to resist compulsion. The brain's like a muscle. The more you use it, the more it can do. A sire bond, at its core, is about one thing... Gratitude. If you believe you owe Klaus your life, ask yourself why Tyler: I was cursed. Every full moon, I had to change into a wolf. It was torture. Klaus took that away Bill: Freed you from your pain and you feel indebted to him. To break the sire bond, you've to make yourself turn. Own your pain, then you'll owe Klaus nothing and you'll be free Caroline: But how can he turn? It's not a full moon Bill: He doesn't need one. You're a hybrid now, right? I mean, you can turn at will or not, am I right? Tyler: Yeah, but I don't know how to just...Start Bill: Now you're making excuses Tyler: You don't understand! When I turn, I break every bone in my body Bill: You asked for my help. This is the only way. How badly do you want your freedom? (He looks at Caroline. Tyler looks at her too) Tyler: Ok. Ok (Tyler concentrates and his eyes turn yellow. His transformation begins) [Abby Bennett's House] (Bonnie is looking at a picture from Jamie's graduation. Elena is here too. They're alone) Elena: How are you holding up? Bonnie: Oh. I'll be fine. I'm not here to get my mom back, I'm just here to get her help (Abby comes back with a plate of food) Abby: So I hope you guys are hungry. 'Cause, uh, food has always been my go-to icebreaker Elena: You have a really beautiful home Abby: You're so sweet. Just like your mom Elena: You knew my mom? Abby: Miranda was my best friend Bonnie: So you had a daughter and a best friend and you still left? Abby: My best friend is why I left. 15 years ago, a vampire came to town. Looking for you, Elena. Looking for the doppelganger. No one could manage to kill him, so I lured him out of town and cast a spell to desiccate him in a crypt in Charlotte Elena: Mikael. He was an original vampire Abby: It took every ounce of power I had. Almost killed me. I recovered. But my magic didn't. My powers never came back Bonnie: And neither did you Abby: It wasn't that simple Bonnie: It wasn't? You cast a spell, put Michael down, then... What? You had to teach Jamie how to drive? Elena: Bonnie... Bonnie: This was a mistake. She has no magic, she can't help us Abby: Bonnie, wait, please. Don't go. Talk to me. Please? Elena: I'll wait outside (Elena goes outside and looks around her. When she turns herself, Stefan's here) Stefan: Hi, Elena. Nice lake house [Mystic Falls' Hospital] (Damon waits for Meredith outside of a room) Damon: You know, we never got a chance to officially meet, doctor...Fell Meredith: You're Alaric's friend, right? Damon Salvatore. Saw you at the council meeting. What are you doing here? Damon: Strolling the halls. I like to wave at the newborns through the window. Sorry about your boyfriend. Animal attack. Brutal Meredith: Ex-boyfriend. And thanks. I'm still kind of processing Damon: Yeah, I'm sure. You know, I just thought I'd come by and tell you that it wasn't an animal attack. And then I realized. You signed the death certificate (He shows her a paper. She enters a room and makes him a sign to follow her) Meredith: Would you rather I say he was staked like a vampire? Damon: Wasn't he the guy that coined the phrase "animal attack"? Meredith: Why do you even care? Damon: Because Ric likes you. And if you're a psychopath, it would probably really suck for him Meredith: You think I killed my ex-boyfriend? Damon: I think psychopaths are incredibly high-maintenance Meredith: If you care about your friend, go figure out how Alaric came into the icu on his deathbed and walked out an hour later without a scratch Damon: Fair enough (He leaves but she injects him vervain and he collapses. He's on the floor and she takes some blood from him with a syringe. He starts to wake up so she rushes and leaves) [Old Lockwood's Cellar] (Tyler is still transitionning but he stops because he's in too much pain) Tyler: I can't. I can't Bill: Try harder Caroline: Can't he just rest for one second?! Bill: We're doing this my way, Caroline. If you can't handle it, you should go Tyler: He's right, Caroline. Just go CarolineNo! Tyler! Tyler: Go, Caroline (She looks at them and leaves. Bill takes an ax and goes toward Tyler) Tyler: What are you doing? (Bill hits him and cuts him wi the ax) Tyler: What the hell, man? Bill: Does it bother you? (He hits Tyler again) Tyler: Knock it off! Bill: Good. Get angry. It's in you. You know it is (He hits Tyler on the face. Tyler gets really angry and gets up) Tyler: I said knock it off! Bill: Your bond to Klaus is putting my daughter in danger. Now either you turn or I kill you right here, right now (Tyler looks at the ax and at Bill and start to turn again. His eyes turn yellow again) [Abby Bennett's House] (Bonnie and Abby are sitting at the table. Alone) Abby: You've grown into such a beautiful young woman, Bonnie Bonnie: Please, just stop with the muffins and the compliments. I just want to know the truth... Why didn't you come home? Abby: I had no magic. I was in a new city, and I realized I had a chance to be somebody else. To be Abby Wilson, the woman... Not Abby Bennett, the witch. I'm not proud of what I did, Bonnie. I ran. I know I ran. But you had your dad and your grams, and, ok, let's face it... Your grams is way better at this stuff than I am Bonnie: You don't know? Abby: What? (She realises what Bonnie meant and seems choked) Abby: How? Bonnie: We were doing a rough spell... And we both exhausted ourselves. Her more than me (She shed a tear) Abby: Well, she raised you right. I'm sure she was very proud of you. Well, now you know my whole story Bonnie: Yep Abby: How about you tell me yours? What brings you to me? Bonnie: It was a dream, actually. I thought you were supposed to help us. But if you don't have any magic, it's... Abby: Well, no spells, no. But I'm not completely useless. I mean, the earth still provides herbs and such. There might be something I can do Bonnie: I...Don't think so Abby: Bonnie, please. Let me help you (Stefan and Elena are in the barn) Stefan: So what, you'd think I wouldn't find out? Elena: Honestly, I didn't care Stefan: This is exactly why I didn't want you in the loop, Elena Elena: Yeah, because now you can't do whatever you want (He shoots in a chair) Stefan: Damn it! (Jamie arrives) Jamie: Hey! Everything all right out here? Elena: Hey. Jamie, go back inside, ok? Please. Trust me. It's better off for you there Jamie: I don't think so Stefan: I'd listen to her. Get back upstairs, man Jamie: I said I don't think so (Stefan compels him) Stefan: Get back upstairs before I tear your damn throat out, do you understand me? (Jamie goes back upstairs) Elena: I don't think you realize how bad you've gotten! Stefan: This is the way it has to be, Elena Elena: Oh, yeah, right. Out-villain the villain. I get it (Jamie comes back with a rifle) Jamie: You're not supposed to be here Elena: Jamie, what are you doing? Jamie: What I was told. He's not supposed to be here Stefan: Elena, he's compelled (Jamie shoots him) (Bonnie hears it and gets up) Bonnie: What was that?! (Abby pours some herbs in her hand and catches Bonnie from behind, putting her hand on Bonnie's face. Bonnie struggle but she finally collapses) [SCENE_BREAK] [Alaric's Appartment] (Alaric is working out. Damon enters) Alaric: What are you doing here? Damon: Ah, looking for a bunny. You're good. For now Alaric: You still obsessed with Meredith? Ah. I mean, don't you have an original vampire to worry about? Damon: Ah, ah, ah, do ten more of those. You're going to want to buff up if you start dating this one. Self defense and all Alaric: What is your problem? Damon: Your doctor vervained me. And then she bloodjacked me Alaric: What? I mean, when did you even see her? Damon: When I went to the hospital to accuse her of killing her ex-boyfriend. Which, by the way, very sensitive subject Alaric: Damon, what the hell are you doing, huh? Damon: Why are you mad at me? Alaric: I told you I'd handle this! Damon: I proved your theory... Diagnosed psycho case. You're welcome [Abby Bennett's House] (Jamie is tying Elena's hand) Elena: Why are you doing this? Jamie: Stop moving Elena: Jamie, let me go. Jamie, he needs help. Jamie! (She sees Abby dragging Bonnie, unconscious, into a car) Elena: Bonnie! Bonnie! (Jamie takes his riot and goes toward them. Stefan is awake and in pain. Jamie helps Abby put Bonnie in the car) [Old Lockwood's Cellar] (Tyler is still turning and pulls on the chains and finally breaks one) Bill: Oh my God Tyler: These chains aren't strong enough. You need to leave. Run! (Bill runs but Tyler has finally turned and rushes toward Bill) [A Road] (Daniel is waiting. A car parks behind his. It's Abby. She gets out of the car) Daniel: So? Abby: She didn't tell me where the coffins are. The vampire showed up Daniel: Did Jamie take care of him? Abby: He did. But she's not going to talk now. There's no way. I tried Daniel: Well, you should try again Bonnie: What did you do to me? Abby: You'll be fine. But don't try and use spells. Those herbs I used muted your magic Bonnie: Where's Elena?! Abby: She'll be fine, too. Bonnie, listen to me. I need your help. I need you to tell me where those coffins are Bonnie: Why? (Abby looks at Daniel) Abby: Because if you don't, that man compelled Jamie to kill himself Bonnie: I can't. This goes beyond you and me (Abby takes her phone and writes something) Abby: All you need to do is tell me where they are. Then we'll have held up our end of the bargain. Bonnie, please (Abby gives her phone to Bonnie. She's written to warn her friends) [Abby Bennett's House] (Stefan is still on the ground and Elena is still titened and tries to break the rope) Elena: I've almost got it (Jamie comes back) Jamie: Abby hasn't called yet Elena: Jamie, please, just let us go Jamie: No! Please, don't do anything. Look, I don't know why I shot him. I don't know why I'm holding this gun, but if you move or do anything, I'm going to shoot him again Elena: Ok, I won't. Who gave you that gun? Jamie: A man came by here earlier today. He said it was wooden buckshot. Told me if anyone got in our way, I'm supposed to shoot 'em Elena: What else did he say? Jamie: If Abby didn't find the location of some coffins... I'm supposed to shoot myself Elena: What about me? What did he say about me? Jamie: I'm not supposed to hurt you Elena: Are you sure? Because... These ropes are so tight that it is hurting me (He comes toward her. She frees her hand and catches the riot and hits him with it. He falls on the ground, unconscious. Then she rushes over Stefan) Elena: What can I do to help? Stefan: Every time I move, the wood shifts inside of me. I can feel it scraping against my heart. You need to get the pieces out (She puts her fingers in one of his wounds to get the bullet out) [Abandonned Witch House] (Damon goes downstairs. The coffins aren't here. Klaus arrives) Klaus: What took you so long? Hiding behind your witchy friends. And in squalor, no less (He suddenly screams and touches his head. The witches spirits are hurting him) Damon: Insulting a bunch of dead witches... Not smart. I made the exact same mistake first time I came in here Klaus: Well, you know the funny thing about the witches is that living or dead, they care about their own. A hundred dead witches have a thousand living descendents... And I have no problem killing every last one of them if I don't get my coffins back. As we speak, my hybrid friend is prepared to end the Bennett line. Now. Please... Show me the coffins (The coffins appear) Klaus: Here we are (He sees that one coffin is missing) Klaus: Where's the fourth? Show me! Damon: Well, ehh, here's the thing. They can't. It's not here Klaus: What did you do? Damon: Well, Bonnie gave me the head's up. I mean, I didn't have enough time to get all four, but I did have time to get one Klaus: I will tear you limb from limb. And only then, when you are a writhing mass of blood and flesh, will I rip your heart from your chest Damon: Sorry. Same rules apply. Leverage and all. I know you want your family back. But something tells me you want what's in that coffin a lot more (He leaves) [Mystic Falls' Hospital] (Alaric is waiting for Meredith) Alaric: You want to tell me what you're up to? Meredith: You talked to Damon Alaric: Yeah i did Meredith: He wasn't supposed to wake up so soon. I used enough vervain to sedate him for hours Alaric: Well, he drinks it, every day. To build up an immunity so people like you don't get the jump on him Meredith: I'm not crazy, Ric Alaric: Really? Then what are you? Meredith: You really want to know? Stick around (A patient in really bad shape arrives. It's Bill Forbes) Alaric: Is that bill Forbes? [Abby Bennett's House] (Elena is still getting the bullets out of Stefan's chest. He screams) Elena: Aaah! I'm just trying to help! Stefan: Just get it out, Elena, please. Just get it out Elena: If you keep squirming, maybe I'll feel sorry for you (She takes the last piece out. He looks at her) Stefan: You've changed. Something's different about you. You're stronger. Tougher Elena: You're not the only one who changed, Stefan. We all had to Stefan: That's good to know Elena: There's something I have to tell you. And it's not because I feel guilty that it happened. It's because I feel guilty that you don't know. I kissed Damon (He doesn't say anything. She looks a him. She touches his chest) Elena: There. All done (He gets up and leaves) [Mystic Falls' Hospital] (Alaric and Meredith are in Bill's room) Alaric: What happened to him? Meredith: He was found in the woods. An actual animal attack. Bite marks and gashes over half his body. Lost about 3 liters of blood Alaric: Well, is he going to make it? Meredith: Nope. At least not on his own (She takes a vial of blood from her pocket) Alaric: What is that? Meredith: Exactly what you think it is. Vampire blood. (She injects the blood in Bill's arm) Meredith: You wanted to know my secret? I cheat. I'm a doctor and I hate when people die. So when I have the ability to do something about it, I do [Abby Bennett's House] (Elena rejoins Stefan at his car) Elena: Stefan... Say something. Please Stefan: I shouldn't have kidnapped you. The car, the bridge, it was too far Elena: Thank you Stefan: But you shouldn't have lied to me today. You can't go off and do things like that, Elena. Not while Klaus is still alive Elena: I know. I just...I wanted to give Bonnie a moment with her mother without everything else getting in the way Stefan: Without me getting in the way Elena: I didn't plan on kissing him Stefan: You're better than him, Elena. You're better than both of us (He goes into his car and leaves) [A road] (Bonnie and Abby are on the side of the road, next to Abby's car. Bonnie looks at her phone) Bonnie: Elena's on her way. Jamie's safe. He's a little bruised, but he's safe Abby: Do you think the hybrid will come back? Bonnie: You kept your end of the bargain. Klaus usually keeps his. You're willing to do all of this for him... And he's not even your family Abby: He is my family, Bonnie. I know that might be hard for you to hear, but he is. But that doesn't mean that I don't care about you. I want to help you Bonnie: You can't. You have no magic and I don't trust you Abby: When I put mikael down, my magic didn't just leave me. It drifted away. The longer I stayed away from you, the weaker it got. I think nature was punishing me for abandoning you. Maybe you can help me get my magic back Bonnie: I thought you said you didn't want it anymore Abby: I don't. But if it's what you wanted... I would do that for you [Mystic Falls's Hospital] (Bill is awake and is in better shape. Tyler enters the room) Tyler: You're better Bill: Yeah. I shouldn't be, but I didn't have any say in the matter Tyler: I didn't mean to hurt you. I lost control. Again Bill: I knew the risks when I decided to help you. So... Was it worth it? How do you feel? Tyler: Different. A little more myself Bill: Then we'll continue tomorrow Tyler: What are you talking about? I turned Bill: Once. To break the sire bond. Turning needs to be painless. And from what I saw today... We're still a long way off Tyler: I can't put myself through that again Bill: You will. Because until you're capable of acting on your own free will, I'm not going to let you anywhere near my daughter [Gilbert's House] (Alaric is with Meredith. He shows her his vampire hunter arsenal) Alaric: You told me your secret. This is mine Meredith: You're a vampire hunter Alaric: Ah, semi-retired Meredith: You're trying to get out of taking me to dinner, aren't you? Alaric: Just want to be honest. No secrets Meredith: Ok. Then tell me how you survived getting hit by a truck. Your injuries were fatal. Was it vampire blood? Alaric: That, and, uh... (He shows her his ring) Alaric: This ring protects me from death at the hands of supernatural beings Meredith: A vampire hunter who can't be killed by vampires. Convenient. (She tries to take his ring off his finger but he takes his hand back Meredith: Are you worried I'm a supernatural being? Alaric: One can never be... Too careful (They kiss and Elena enters at the same time) Elena: Oh, um, hey, um. Sorry Meredith: Oh, uh, I'm gonna go Alaric: Ok, yeah, sure, sure, sure (Meredith leaves. Alaric is uncomfortable) Alaric: Elena, I am... I'm sorry Elena: Please, it... it's ok Alaric: Ah, it's not ok, Elena. I mean, this is not even my place. It's... it's your place. It's Jenna's place. It's your family... It's your family's place Elena: The minute that you slept on that couch, it became your place, too. We needed you, and... And you stayed. So thank you for that. Hey, look, I know it's hard. But Jenna's gone. And you're allowed to move on [Salvatore's House] (Stefan enters. Damon's here) Stefan: Oh, you're still alive? I assume that means Klaus didn't get his coffins Damon: Well, don't look so happy. I was only able to get one of them out in time. The locked one Stefan: Probably a good choice Damon: Yeah. You know, if you're banking on Bonnie's mama to open it, you're screwed. She doesn't have any powers Stefan: Ah. Doesn't surprise me. It's been that kind of night Damon: Is Elena ok? (Stefan doesn't answer and punches him) Damon: I take it you two had a heart to heart. And I take it you don't want to talk about it. Noted (He takes a dagger from his back and shows it to Stefan) Damon: So why don't we talk about this? Stefan: What did you do? [Klaus' House] (Daniel is helping Klaus put the coffins in a room) Daniel: You have your family back. Finally. You're going to open them? Klaus: Not quite yet. I still have some unfinished business to take care of Daniel: What business? (He's suddenly dead. Elijah is behind him and has Daniel's heart in his hand) Elijah: So, Niklaus... Klaus: Elijah? Elijah: What did I miss?

Plan: A: Bonnie; Q: Who does Abby tell she will help if she can get her magic back? A: her mother; Q: Who does Bonnie need to find to get the sealed coffin open? A: Tyler; Q: Who gets Bill to come and help him resist the sire bond? A: Klaus; Q: Who negotiates with Stefan to control the coffins of his family members? A: Elena; Q: Who tricks Jamie into freeing Bonnie? A: Jamie; Q: Who is the surrogate son of Abby? A: Abby returns; Q: Who tells Bonnie that she is the one that desiccated Mikael? A: Dr. Meredith Fell; Q: Who does Damon investigate? A: Meredith; Q: Who does Alaric kiss? A: her boyfriend; Q: Who did Meredith Fell kill? A: a werewolf; Q: What must Tyler turn into to break the sire bond? A: the location; Q: What does Bonnie need to give up to free Jamie? A: the big, sealed coffin; Q: What does Damon hide from Klaus? A: Alaric; Q: Who kisses Meredith? A: vampire blood; Q: What does Meredith use to treat her patients? A: the hospital; Q: Where is Bill transported to after being bitten by an animal? A: animal bites; Q: What is Bill suffering from? A: Damon's blood; Q: What does Tyler use to save Bill? A: the dagger; Q: What did Damon pull out of Elijah? Summary: Bonnie realizes she needs to find her mother, Abby, to get the sealed coffin open. Tyler gets Bill to come and help him resist the sire bond. Klaus negotiates with Stefan to control the coffins of his family members. Elena and Bonnie go to see Abby and meet Jamie, a surrogate son of Abby's. Abby returns and tells them she is the one that desiccated Mikael. Damon investigates Dr. Meredith Fell and the death of her boyfriend. She then vervains him and drains some of his blood. Tyler learns to break the sire bond, he must turn and own the pain of being a werewolf. Abby tells Bonnie she did not come back because she had a chance at a new, normal life. Abby offers to help Bonnie but drugs her as Jamie shoots Stefan, revealing that he has been compelled. They kidnap Bonnie and Jamie is compelled to shoot himself if she does not give up the location. Elena tricks Jamie into freeing her and she knocks him out as she saves Stefan. Elena tells Stefan about her kiss with Damon. Klaus gets to the coffins, but Damon hides the big, sealed coffin. Alaric discovers a secret about Meredith: she uses vampire blood to treat her patients. Bill is transported to the hospital with animal bites by Tyler and she uses Damon's blood to save him. Abby tells Bonnie she will help her if she can get her magic back. Bill tells Tyler he must turn until there's no more pain to break the sire bond. Alaric kisses Meredith. Stefan punches Damon and Damon reveals he pulled the dagger out of Elijah, as Elijah kills one of the hybrids.

[A raven flying in the sky] LUCAS (Voice Over): Some people believe that raven's guide travelers to their destinations. Others believe that the sight of a solitary raven is considered good luck. While a group of ravens predicts trouble ahead. And a raven right before battle promises victory. [Basketball Game] (Mouth is giving his broadcast from the stands) MOUTH: Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome Tree Hill Raven's basketball, brought to you by web cast at Ravenshoops.com. I'm Mouth McFadden and the playoffs are finally here, so throw out the perfect record, if the raven's lose this one, the season is over. [Locker Room] DAN: Tonight's obstacle is Masonboro. If you win, you're one step closer to a state championship, and undefeated season and greatness. Lose, and be losers. (Nathan and Lucas meet eyes and Nathan bounces the ball to him) [River Court] (Nathan and Lucas are playing basketball. Lucas misses a shot) NATHAN: You know, all this working out doesn't mean anything if you can't hit the shot. LUCAS: What's wrong with you? NATHAN: I'm just saying, it's a waste of my time to get you ready for this game if you can't score when we need it. LUCAS: Huh. Give me the ball. (He makes the shot) Now, you going to tell me what's really wrong? NATHAN: I guess, uh, I guess I'm just dealing with Haley. LUCAS: She's still not talking to you, huh? NATHAN: No. [Outside School] (Haley is looking at pictures of her and Nathan on her cell phone) DAN: Don't think I haven't noticed your part in all this. You know, Haley, if you're going to manipulate him, you should aim a little higher. And remember, pay back is hell. Oh, uh, by the way, nice tattoo. Real classy. [Basketball Game] MOUTH: Just moments away from the beginning of this playoff game. Winners advance. To the losers, well, their season is over. Dan Scott is standing in for coach Whitey Durham who is out with an illness. Not sure who signed off on that one, but let's hope Coach Durham gets well soon. (Deb is watching Dan from the stands) [Deb's House] (She is getting ready to sign the papers, Dan walks in) DAN: Really, Deb, tears. On the eve of our divorce. DEB: No, actually, I was sitting here having second thoughts. Until I considered what a hideous monster you've been for most of our married lives. (She signs them) DAN: Well since we're frolicking down memory lane, let's take a stroll back to the campus the night you told me you were pregnant. You know I came to you that night to tell you I had made a decision. I was leaving school at the end of the semester. DEB: Because of your fictional knee injury. DAN: No. No, Deb, that's just what I told you. I was leaving because there was a girl I left behind. A girl who was carrying my child. And a girl that I loved very much. DEB: Karen. DAN: But when I told you I was leaving you told me you were pregnant. DEB: I didn't know you were leaving for Karen. DAN: I know. All you knew is that I would do right by you and Nathan. Which is something I've tried to do every day since then. And if that makes me a monster, then so be it. [Basketball Game] (The team is still warming up) LUCAS: You alright? NATHAN: Have you seen Haley? LUCAS: No. [Outside Haley's House] (Peyton drops Haley off. Nathan is waiting for her in the rain) HALEY: Nathan, you're soaked. What are you doing? NATHAN: I just went for a run to clear my head, I guess this is where I ended up. Look, Haley, the picture of Peyton didn't mean anything, okay? HALEY: It did to me. Clearly you still have feelings for her. NATHAN: I saved that picture back when we were still dating. The other ones too, you can go back and look. Her web cam hasn't even been in her closet for months. HALEY: Why didn't you tell me that last week? NATHAN: Because, I should have deleted those images a long time ago. I just felt bad because I didn't do it. Besides, Haley, I don't want Peyton. I want you. HALEY: Is that it? NATHAN: You know, my pride says yeah, that's it. Just walk away and let Haley deal with the fact that she's clearly threatened by a sexual relationship. But my heart says, just forget about your pride you idiot. You love this girl. And even if you're going to catch pneumonia, your @#%$ is going to stand out here in the rain till you convince her to forgive you. So come on, Hales, just meet me half way here? HALEY: Why should I? NATHAN: Because I'm sorry. Because I love you. And Because you're looking really hot standing out here in the rain, and I'm thinking, I have to kiss you. HALEY: Well, if you have to. (They start kissing) [Basketball Game] (Haley sits down in the stands with Keith) HALEY: Hey. KEITH: Hey. (Team Huddle) DAN: This is your night, this is your gym. Take no prisoners. Hands in. LUCAS: Let's win this one for Whitey. DAN: Hey, forget the old man, you win it for yourselves. TIM: Come on boys, When are we going to lose? 1...2...3...Nevermore! (They break up and start to walk away) DAN: Hey, there's no name on your jersey. LUCAS: Yeah there is. (He points to the Ravens name) Right there. MOUTH: So Ravens take the floor and we're all set to go. [Whitey's office] (Dan is at the desk. Lucas comes in) LUCAS: Listen, um, I talked to my mom. And I guess I'm sorry for resenting you for not wanting to be in my life. I didn't know you wanted custody. I also never said thank you for rescuing me from the accident. DAN: You should be on the floor by now for practice. Go run 21 sprints. (Lucas leaves) [Basketball Game] (They're getting ready to start. Lucas is standing next to another player) PLAYER: You better watch that bad shoulder. LUCAS: You better watch the score board. MOUTH: Here we go, ravens fans, the playoffs are underway. (The game starts) Ravens control the tip, Nathan Scott brings it up court to the pride of his hometown crowd. I'll tell you, there's a lot of love in the air tonight. (Brooke and Peyton smile at each other) [Bar] (Nikki sits down next to Brooke) BROOKE: That seat's reserved for my friend Peyton. NIKKI: You're friend, huh? BROOKE: As far as she knows. NIKKI: So where is Jake, Brooke? BROOKE: Buy me a drink and maybe I'll tell you. [Basketball Game] (Brooke and Peyton are still smiling at each other.) MOUTH: Early in the second quarter, this Masonboro team, big underdogs, are giving the ravens all they can handle. PLAYER: All night, baby, all night. DAN: Shut up, you little punk. MOUTH: It could be the time away, or maybe Dan Scott's influence, but whatever the reason, the players have dug themselves a whole and they're looking at a long road back. (Keith and Karen meet eyes) [Keith's Apartment] (He's looking at a picture of himself and Karen with Lucas as a baby.) KEITH: Did you even love me, Karen? KAREN: Keith, I do love you. KEITH: Not like that. KAREN: I don't know how to answer that. KEITH: You don't know how to, or you don't want to? KAREN: Keith, I don't want you to leave like this. KEITH: It's a little late for that. But at least let's tell the truth. Okay? I'm not leaving for a job or some fresh perspective or because I wanted to get out of this town. I'm leaving because I can't look at you anymore without my heart breaking. How many serious relationships have you had since Dan? I'll tell you. None. KAREN: Why are you doing this? KEITH: Karen, it was a dark day when you said no to my proposal. But, you know, I can live with that. I don't need you to love me. But you got to open up your heart to somebody. You got to let someone discover how staggering you are. Just don't be alone, that I can't live with. [Basketball Game] MOUTH: The ravens grab the rebound and push it up court. Tim Smith passes to Lucas Scott, over to Nathan Scott for the slam! I see the Ravens are finally working together. PEYTON: Go ravens! (Brooke smiles at her) [Peyton's Room] BROOKE: You know you can trust me. PEYTON: Brooke, it's really important to me that Nikki never finds out where Jake took Jenny. BROOKE: I know it's important to you, Peyton. That's why you can trust me with this. [Bar] NIKKI: But she still hasn't told you? BROOKE: No, but she will. She thinks we're tight again. NIKKI: Not that I care, but, you must really hate Peyton to betray her trust like this. BROOKE: Yeah, well, she's got it coming. If Jake and Jenny meant anything to her, she'll know what it feels like to have her heart crushed, won't she? NIKKI: Fine by me. [Basketball Game] MOUTH: Coming up on half time and Ravens continue the lead. Lucas Scott with the ball that leads to Nathan. (Nathan makes a jump shot) Caw! The birds have taken flight. They look a lot sharper now, but something tells me Masonboro isn't going away. [Lucas' Room] LUCAS: You okay, mom? KAREN: I am having a problem letting you go. You're just a kid, Luke. Part of me says that you are too young for this, I know I'm too young for it. LUCAS: You know this isn't about me wanting to leave you, right? Because it's not. KAREN: Then what is it about? Explain it to me again, why you want to leave. LUCAS: Do you remember when I first joined the team? The boosters treated you poorly. You wanted them to see who you'd become. And they could only see who you used to be. Or at least who they thought you were. I need a chance to start over. And I don't want Keith to be alone either. At least for a little while. [Keith's Apartment] KAREN: I told him he could join you in Charleston. KEITH: I want you to know, I'll protect him with my life this time. KAREN: I know you will. Other wise I wouldn't allow it. No one's ever asked me if I would ever trust you again. And you need to know that if this was anybody else I wouldn't let him go. KEITH: That means a lot to me. KAREN: I guess I should go then. I'm sorry, Keith. (She leaves and he looks at the picture of them) KEITH: Me too. [Nathan's Apartment] (Nathan and Haley run into his room wet and grab towels) NATHAN: Want a towel? HALEY: Yes. Well that was a nice walk. (Nathan takes off his shirt and sits on the bed) NATHAN: Yeah. (Haley stops and watches him) What? (She takes off her shirt) Haley. HALEY: No, it's okay. It's okay. (She kisses him and they lie down) [Basketball Game] MOUTH: The ravens lead a close one by two as we come up on half time. Daniel Lawrence gives it to Tim who dribbles out top. Luke breaks free on the wing, puts up a three pointer, release rotation, splash, ravens lead it by five. Time for score at half time, ravens 34 and bears 39. This is web cast at ravenshoops.com. (One of the players bumps into Lucas' shoulder and he falls to the ground.) Wow. (Nathan pushes the player) Masonboro just hit Lucas Scott with a cheap shot. (Both teams come into the middle and start fighting) Nathan comes to his defense and things are getting ugly as the refs hurry back to the floor to try and break up a brawl. Lucas Scott is still down protecting his bad shoulder. [Bar] BROOOKE: So Jake went to Savannah? PEYTON: He's got family there. I don't know if we would have been anything, you know, but I really loved Jenny. And I worry about them. BROOKE: I'm glad you told me, Peyton. You know I'm here for you. [Nathan's Apartment] (Nathan and Haley are still lying in bed) HALEY: I know you are. What if we're not good together? What if it drives us apart? NATHAN: It won't. Look, Haley, I want to be with you. And if you don't want to be with me, I guess I understand, but, this isn't going to change anything. HALEY: Tonight then. After the game. [Locker Room] DAN: Already making plans for after the game, boys? Because this is a joke! You guys are up five points, you should be up fifty points. Oh and while you have your heads up your asses, why don't you take a whiff of how you've been playing. Tim, turnovers. Nathan, focus. (He walks over to where the trainer is looking at Lucas' shoulder) Hey, come here. (He and the trainer go off to the side) How are we doing? TRAINER: Coach, we should get him x-rayed. I think he's done for the night. DAN: Whoa, whoa. Are you sure? TRAINER: Well I can't be sure without the x-ray. But if he were my kid, I wouldn't risk it. And considering the rehab- DAN: Shh. (He goes to Lucas) Hey. How you doing? LUCAS: It just feels a little weird. What'd the doc say? DAN: He said you'd be fine. But if you want to sit out, I can't make you play. But your teammates are counting on you. LUCAS: I'll be fine. DAN: Good man. Kid says he wants to play, doc. But I'll tell you what, as soon as the game's over, we'll get him an x-ray, okay? (Nathan comes over to Lucas) NATHAN: You good, man? (He nods) Good. Cause all this means nothing if you can't knock down that shot. [Outside] (Nathan and Lucas are walking together) NATHAN: Do you know about my dad's state championship game? LUCAS: Yeah, Whitey benched Dan. NATHAN: Not exactly. That's Whitey's story. See, they were leading, and Whitey wanted to go into a stall. My dad didn't want to, so at the end of the game, with everything on the line, he sat down. Refused to go back into the game. LUCAS: Really? NATHAN: Yeah. The way my dad sees it, he lost the game, but won the argument. LUCAS: I couldn't do that to my teammates. NATHAN: Yeah, me neither. Although if we lose this game, I'm going back to hating you. (They stop in front of Whiteys house) WHITEY: Well, it's the Scott boys. Together. My eyes really must be screwed up. LUCAS: Hey, coach. NATHAN: We wanted to catch you before you went to the hospital. WHITEY: Glad you did. How's practice going with Danny? NATHAN: The same as with you. It sucks. Well, coach, the players, we all signed this ball for you. (He hands him a basketball signed by the team) Sort of a get well card. WHITEY: You know, I've been around this game practically my whole life. And there's never been a day that I was as gifted as either one of you. Remember that. Don't let Danny take that from you. You boys play with your whole hearts. You take your shots, no regrets. (He bumps fists with them) [SCENE_BREAK] [Basketball Game] (Lucas passes to Nathan and he makes the lay up) MOUTH: Reverse lay up by the ravens for another two. Nathan and Lucas Scott have taken over, keeping the ravens in close, but it may be too little too late as Masonboro leads it by five, time running out in the forth. HALEY: Oh man, I'm scared. [Graveyard] HALEY: Lucas! Luke, I'm scared. Luke, this is so not cool. Come out here right now, Lucas Scott. (Lucas jumps out from behind a headstone and scares her. She punches him in the stomach as a reflex) LUCAS: Damn it, Haley. You're going to kill me. You know Houdini died like that. HALEY: You deserve it, dumb @#%$. I told you, I didn't want to take this shortcut. LUCAS: What are you whispering for? HALEY: Because. LUCAS: Haley, these people, they're dead. HALEY: I know, but if you keep yelling, the stinking zombies are going to hear us. LUCAS: Haley. HALEY: What? LUCAS: Look, I've got to tell you something. HALEY: What is her name and what did you do that you regret? LUCAS: I'm going to Charleston with Keith. HALEY: Alright, for how long? LUCAS: For good. I'm moving there. HALEY: What are you talking about? LUCAS: Keith got a job in Charleston. And I'm going to go live with him there, after the season's over. Haley, I need to go. (She turns her back to him) Come no, don't do that. HALEY: Don't do what?! You can not bring me out in the middle of a creepy cemetery and tell me that you are leaving Tree Hill for good, that is not fair! LUCAS: Haley, come on, it's not that far. I'll still see you. HALEY: Not like now. Who's going to go thrift store hunting with me, Lucas? Who's going to buy bad music or lie to the campus lost and found and claim dumb stuff? Who's going to do that with me? LUCAS: Nathan. And me, too. Once and a while. Look, I've thought a lot about this, Haley. Okay? And I feel like I can be a better person if I go now. I am sure going to miss you. You're my best friend, Hales. You always will be. HALEY: Idiot. LUCAS: Come here. (He hugs her) You okay? HALEY: No, I'm scared again. [Basketball Game] MOUTH: No going back now, folks. This is it. Down by two, less than a minute on the clock. The ravens need a stop/ NATHAN: You got anything left in that shoulder? LUCAS: A little bit. NATHAN: Well come on, man. Let's take this thing. MOUTH: Masonboro inbound, full court pressure by the ravens with under 20 seconds. DAN: No fouls! MOUTH: Dan Scott calls for no fouls. Time is running out and he wants the birds to make a play. At half court, Lucas Scott pokes the ball free. Nathan Scott grabs it and time out. A sensational steel. The Ravens have it, down by two, 12 seconds left in the game. DAN: Okay, bring it in. Bring it in. Look at me, look at me. Who out there is scared? Who's scared? Cause if you're scared you sit your @#%$ on this bench I don't want you on that court. Nathan, look at me. Get the ball in your hands, okay? Hold the ball tough till there's five seconds left on the clock then you bang inside and tie this thing up. TIM: But they're going to double him. DAN: I don't care if they put five guys on him, Tim! Listen to me, five seconds, okay? Then you shove it down their throats. Great players make great plays, Nathan. Hands in. TIM: Let's go. Win it on 3. 1...2...3.. Win it! (Lucas and Nathan walk away together) LUCAS: Hey, it means nothing if you can't knock down the shot. MOUTH: So the Ravens break the huddle. 12 seconds left on the clock. They need a basket to tie, a three pointer to win, or their season is over. The standing room crowd is on their feet. Lucas Scott will throw it in. He does safety. Finds Tim Smith who immediately swings it to Nathan Scott. We're at eight seconds. Now seven. Nathan works out top. Five seconds on the clock. Now four. He spins to the basket. Then passes to Luke for a three pointer and the win! (The buzzer sounds and the ball hit's the rim and bounces off. Lucas falls to his knees. All the players silently walk off court. Nathan pats Lucas on the back as he walks by) [Locker Room] (Dan is clapping) DAN: Nice work, ladies. Undefeated regular season, conference champs and all for nothing. Look at me, Nathan. Cause I want to see your face when you explain to me why you didn't run the play I told you to. Take off that jersey, you don't deserve to wear it. None of you do! Do you have an answer for me yet? Because I can wait, I have no where else to be. And you don't either, you want to know why? Because your season is over! Why did you disobey me and pass to Lucas when you knew- NATHAN: When I knew what, dad? That Lucas shouldn't have been in that game because of his injury? Because we both knew that, didn't we? DAN: Watch it. LUCAS: I should have hit the shot. It's my fault. DAN: You're damn right it's your fault. You let your teammates down. Teammates you shouldn't have had in the first place, by the way. NATHAN: At least he took a shot. Unlike you. DAN: What did you say to me? NATHAN: You heard what I said. I said at least he took a shot. That's more than you did, right dad? DAN: I wouldn't go there if I were you, Nathan. NATHAN: Why not? You're talking about letting down our teammates. Lucas was there all game. He played in pain with an injury you knew about. But he wasn't a coward like you were. DAN: Tim, go get security. Tell them my son has been beaten to death. NATHAN: We played hard. And we lost. We have nothing to be ashamed of. (He rips the name off his jersey and throws it to Dan's feet) Except maybe our coach. (He leaves and bumps fists with Lucas on his way out) No regrets. [Whitey's office] (Keith comes in) KEITH: It was a tough loss. DAN: Well if it isn't the Fredo of the family. How's that employment line, boozie? KEITH: I just came by to let you know that I'm leaving. DAN: Really? So what'd you do with the ring? I mean if you're finally leaving town after all these years that means you proposed to Karen, and she said no. So what'd you do with the ring? KEITH: I'm driving it. '89 Land Cruiser. DAN: I could have given you a better deal. KEITH: Well, I'll consider that your goodbye. DAN: Keith. KEITH: Yeah? DAN: Never mind. (Keith leaves) [Outside the gym] (Haley waits for Lucas to come out) HALEY: Hey. LUCAS: Hey. HALEY: I just wanted to make sure you were okay. LUCAS: I'm leaving tomorrow, Haley. HALEY: Already? LUCAS: Yeah. HALEY: Okay. LUCAS: Hey. It's okay. HALEY: No it's not, I really wanted to spend your last night with you, but Nathan's waiting. LUCAS: Hey, go. I've got to get my shoulder checked out anyway. I'll find you before I leave tomorrow, okay? HALEY: K. I'm really going to miss you, Luke. (She hugs him) LUCAS: I'll miss you, too. HALEY: Okay, bye. (She walks away) [Outside] (Haley walks out to Nathan's car and gets in) NATHAN: Hey HALEY: Sorry about the game. NATHAN: Yeah. (he looks over at Haley who is crying) Hales, don't cry. Haley, we don't have to do this tonight. HALEY: No, no I want to. More than ever. NATHAN: You sure? HALEY: Yeah. No regrets. [Deb's house] (She is putting all of Dan's things into the fire) KEITH: Hey. DEB: Hey. KEITH: I told you I'd help you burn Dan's stuff if you wanted. Normally I sit with Whitey after every home game, win or lose, so I hope you don't mind. DEB: You leaving tomorrow? KEITH: Yeah. With Lucas. DEB: You know, the first time I left Dan, I still believed that I could get out. I'd just pack my things and escape to a new life. But you can't. You just put a new face on the same loneliness. What happened to us, Keith? How did we become so broken? KEITH: We fell in love. And at some point, the people that we loved forgot to love us back. [Hospital] DOCTOR: Well I'm sorry your season's over, Lucas, but even if the team would have won, your season is over anyway. No basketball. KAREN: Maybe you shouldn't go. I mean with your shoulder and everything. LUCAS: Mom, it's time. I'm going to go see Whitey, okay? [Whitey's Hospital Room] LUCAS: Hey, coach. WHITEY: Don't tell me. You lost at the buzzer. They doubled Nathan and you missed a wide open look. (Lucas looks at him confused) Web cast. Ravenshoops.com. Well it was a good look. Let it go. Doc says this eye thing might be a little more complicated than they thought it was. LUCAS: Coach, you're going to be okay, right? WHITEY: We'll see. LUCAS: Look, um, I just wanted you to know, that I really appreciate everything you've done for me. You believed in me. And for that I will always owe you. WHITEY: You want to do me a favor? LUCAS: Sure. WHITEY: Take care of Keith. He's a good man. LUCAS: So are you, coach. (He hugs him and leaves) [Deb's house] (Dan walks in and sees Deb and Keith sleeping together on the floor. They wake up and see him and he walks back out) KEITH: Damn it. [Bar] BROOKE: Question. Who is sexy, talented, and knows where Jake is? Oh I know, it's me. NIKKI: So where is he? BROOKE: Tell you what. I'll play you for it. You beat me, I'll tell you where he went. NIKKI: I don't want to play games, Brooke. Just tell me where Jake took Jenny. (Brooke writes something on a napkin and hands it to Nikki) So that's it, huh? (Brooke takes the napkin back) Betrayal of Peyton complete. How does it feel? BROOKE: It feels like you should be gone by now because you got your information. (She burns the napkin) NIKKI: You know, Brooke, you should really try to be a better person. No body likes a @#%$. (She walks away. Peyton comes up to Brooke) PEYTON: Was that Nikki you were talking to? BROOKE: Yeah. I told her where Jake went. And she bought it, just like we planned. It's going to be a long road trip to Seattle. I told you, Peyton, I'm here for you. PEYTON: I know you are. [Beach House] (Keith and Dan pull up at the same time and get out of their cars) KEITH: Look, it's not what it looks like. DAN: No? Because it looked like you were having s*x with my wife. Unless of course you both tripped and fell. Your clothes fell off and somehow you ended up on top of her. KEITH: What I mean is, this hasn't been going on, okay? It just happened. DAN: You listen to me, you son of a @#%$. Those are the last words you're ever going to speak to me. You are no longer my brother. You understand that? You do not exist to me. (He punches out his window and walks inside) [River Court] NATHAN: I told you if you missed that shot it was all for nothing. I was wrong. I figured I'd find you out here. Word is you're leaving town. LUCAS: Yeah. I'm just meeting the guys to say goodbye. NATHAN: You leaving because of the game? LUCAS: Nah. Keith needs to be with someone right now. I need a change. I figured since the season's over, it's time. Plus, I know I'm leaving Haley in good hands. NATHAN: Well, I got to tell you, man. I never thought, when we played that one on one game, that I'd end up back here, feeling like this. LUCAS: Like what? NATHAN: Like I'm going to miss you. You've got to do what you feel. I actually wish you weren't going to leave. Because you're one hell of a basketball player. And because you're my brother. Take care of yourself, man. LUCAS: You take care of Haley. (They hug) I'll miss you too, little brother. (Nathan leaves) [Lucas' Room} KAREN: You all set? LUCAS: Yeah, almost. KAREN: Come here, I want to talk to you a minute. I know you're searching for things, Lucas. And I hope with all my heart that you find the answers to your questions. But the answers that you're looking for are closer than you think. They're in your heart. And in the hearts of those who love you. And that is right here. At home. In your life you're going to go to some great places, and you're going to do some wonderful things. But no matter where you go, or who you become, this place will always be with you. There is only one Tree Hill. And it's your home. I love you, my boy. LUCAS: I love you, too. [Keith's Apartment] (He looks around at the empty room then closes the door. A picture of him and Dan is left on the wall) [Peyton's Room] (She and Brooke are lying in bed) BROOKE: It looks like a beautiful morning. PEYTON: It's perfect. BROOKE: Let's do something great today. [Outside Peyton's House] (An envelope is taped to the front door with Brooke and Peyton's names on it) [Beach House] (Dan takes off his wedding ring. He gets a text message on his phone from Deb saying Please call me. He closes the phone and begins to sign the divorce papers. He stands up and grabs his chest and falls to the ground) [Whitey's Hospital Room] (The doctor walks in) DOC: We have your test results. [Nikki's Car] (She is driving down the highway) [Lucas' Room] (Karen is sitting on Lucas' bed) [Beach House] (Dan is lying on the ground. Deb comes in and runs over to him) DEB: Dan! Can you hear me? DAN: Deb, you better hope I die. [Nathan's Apartment] (Lucas knocks on the door and Nathan answers) LUCAS: Hey, is Haley here? I promised her I'd see her before I left. NATHAN: Yeah, come on in. (He walks in and Nathan goes to the back. Haley walks by the open door holding the sheets around her) HALEY: Nathan, where's your sweatshirt? NATHAN: It's in the bathroom. (Lucas looks nervous and Haley comes out with just his sweatshirt on) HALEY: Hey. LUCAS: Hey, um, you know, I'm sorry to- I just wanted to say goodbye. HALEY: No, no it's okay. I didn't want you to go without- LUCAS: No, I'm sorry. I'm just going to go. HALEY: No, Lucas, please don't. LUCAS: Haley! It's cool, I just, I thought you weren't ready. I thought that you were going to wait until you got married. (Nathan comes out and stands by Haley) I mean, I just figured, I didn't expect you to- HALEY: Well we did. We did wait. LUCAS: What are you talking about, Haley? HALEY: Um, (She holds up her hand) we got married last night. (Lucas looks shocked and stares at them) [Keith and Lucas driving away] LUCAS (Voice Over): Some people believe that Ravens guide travelers to their destinations. Others believe that the sight of a solitary raven is considered good luck. While more than one raven together, predicts trouble ahead. (Many Ravens are flying above the car)

Plan: A: the first season finale; Q: What episode of American Idol was named after a song by The Blackouts? A: Lucas; Q: Who is shocked when Haley's reconciliation with Nathan heightens the intensity of their relationship? A: the brunt; Q: What did Lucas and Nathan bear of Dan's abuse? A: Dan; Q: Who suffers a medical condition after walking in on Deb and Keith having a one night stand? A: the playoffs; Q: What does Dan coach Lucas and Nathan into? A: their breaking points; Q: What did Dan push Lucas and Nathan to? A: Whitey; Q: Who learns that his medical condition may be more serious than he first thought? Summary: In the first season finale, Lucas and Nathan bear the brunt of Dan's abuse as he coaches them into the playoffs, pushing both of them to their breaking points. Lucas is stunned when Haley's reconciliation with Nathan heightens the intensity of their relationship. Meanwhile, Whitey learns that his medical condition may be more serious than he first believed, and Dan suffers a medical condition after walking in on Deb and Keith having a one night stand. This episode is named after a song by The Blackouts.

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] (Form Lonely Hearts) Angel meets Kate in the Bar. Angel: "I'm Angel." Kate: "I'm Kate." Angel: "Are you maybe in need of some rescuing?" Angel burst into the Shirley's apartment and sees the dead body on the bed. Kate: "You're telling me you're an investigator?" Angel: "Look, I know what this looks like." Kate whips out her gun and badge: "So do I." Kate slaps handcuffs on Angel: "I've been tracking you since last night." Angel throws her off and jumps out the window while Kate shoots at him. Angel: "We're on the same side." Angel pulls Kate out of the way of the barrel that the bartender is trying to brain her with: "Move!" Angel: "You just have to trust me." Kate: "I didn't thank you - for saving my life." Kate looks around and Angel disappeared on her. Downtown LA at night. A guy dressed in a black leather jacket and carrying a duffel bag is being chased by a girl. He makes it to a parked car and as he opens the driver's side door he gets kicked in the back from behind, slams against the open door and falls on the ground. Kate standing over him: "Gosh, Spivey, sorry. - I guess I just have trouble expressing myself verbally. I've been struggling with that. (Guy tries to get up and she kicks him again) You stood me up. You were going to come to the station and answer a few questions for me remember?" Spivey: "I forgot?" Kate grabs him and slams him down on the trunk of the car: "Not something a girl likes to hear. I think we'll just skip the informal invitation and do the more formal thing. (Cuffs him) You have the right to remain silent - but I wouldn't recommend it." Cut to an interrogation room. Kate: "Look at the pictures." Spivey: "I looked at the pictures." Kate: "What's in the pictures." Spivey: "Me and Little Tony Papazian. I don't know where he is. Look how long are we going to do this?" Kate: "So you haven't seen him since the day this picture was taken? (Spivey sniffs and looks away) They day County Supervisor Caffrey - was found murdered?" Spivey: "I heard it was a suicide." Kate: "Supervisor Caffrey shot himself.." Spivey: "It happens." Kate: "In the back of his head? He wrapped himself in plastic and he locked himself into the back of his car?" Spivey: "He'd been depressed." Kate: "Where is Little Tony?" Spivey: "Burbank, Stockholm, the Planet Mongol - I have no idea where he is! I'm losing patience with this crap." Kate: "I'm not. I'm just getting started. I had a big breakfast. I could do this all day." Camera pans through a one-way glass where a bunch of guys are watching the interrogation. Harlan: "Doesn't she ever have to pee?' Spivey gets up: "Fine, you want to play all day? Play with yourself! You charge me or get me gone, because I'm telling you - nothing." Kate: "Look at the pictures." Spivey: "Bite me." Kate grabs him by the throat and slams him up against the wall: "Where is he?" The guys from the other room come charging in and pull Kate off him. Spivey holds his throat coughing while Kate walks out of the room. Cut to Kate putting her hands on a banister Detective Harlan leans against it beside her. Kate: "Sorry." Detective: "Yeah, well, we should have gotten you out of there hours ago." Kate: "He's not gonna talk." Harlan: "Then Little Tony is good as gone. We can't find him, and I don't know anyone who can." Cut to Angel defending himself against some snake-like appendages with mouths at their ends that keep attacking him from above with a piece of pipe. Doyle and Cordy come running up. Angel: "It's about time." Doyle pulls a sword out of the bag he's carrying and tosses it to Angel: "Not a lot of enchanted sword smiths open on Sunday." Angel slices off one of the tentacles reaching for him then slices into the belly of the thing visible through a hole in the ceiling above him. Some clear green liquid splatters down. Angel: "Make sure you cut up all the limbs and both of its heads this time. Remember to bury the parts separately. (Tosses the sword back to Doyle as starts to walk off) I don't want this thing coming back to life again." Cordy: "That's it?" Angel: "I'm gonna go clean out the nest. I'll see you back at the office." Cordy watches him disappear around a corner: "OK, am I wrong in thinking that a "Please" and "Thank you" is generally considered good form when requesting a dismemberment?" Doyle: "I think he appreciates us - in his own - unappreciative way." Cordy gets a knife out of the bag: "You want to know what I think? I think he *uses* his tortured creature of the night status as a license to be rude and insensitive! (A tentacle wraps itself around Doyle's neck choking him Cordy never notices as she begins to slice up the monster) Sure, he is polite to the helpless and the downtrodden, but he ignores the people that are the closest to him. The people that matter the most, you know? (Doyle is still being choked) Can you say clueless?" Intro Cut to Angel's office the next day. Cordy and Doyle come in tired and covered with green gunk. Cordy to Doyle: "Do you think that tentacle spew comes out with dry cleaning?" Angel looking down at some papers he is carrying: "Ah, good, you're back. Cordelia, you need to.." Cordy: "No! (Angel looks at her) I don't care what horrible thing is about to happen. (Sits down and starts flipping through a magazine) Asteroids are hurtling towards earth. *Unspeakable* evil is rising the San Fernando Valley. Jar-Jar is getting his *own* talk show. Whatever - I don't want to hear about it. Not until you ask us how it went." Angel: "Call your mother back. She phoned saying she'd like to speak with you. - And what are you talking about?" Cordy: "You do remember leaving us in the sewer with a giant calamari?" Angel: "Yeah, and you're both here. So I assume it went okay, right?" Cordy: "Yeah, it went okay. Of course it went okay, okay? That's not the point." Angel: "So there is a point." Cordy: "*Being* that it is possible to brood *and* show a little interest in the feeling of others." Angel shakes his head and looks questioningly over at Doyle. Doyle: "Well, she thinks that you're insensitive, and not to bring up the irony, but consider the source." Angel: "So I'm a little reserved, that doesn't mean I don't care." Cordy: "It's like you don't have a pulse." Angel: "I don't." Cordy: "Well, spend a little time listening to how the living interact." Kate bursts into the office. Angel: "Kate." Kate: "Angel. - Got a minute?" Angel: "Sure. (They head towards his office) Coffee?" Kate: "I'm fine." Cordy watches the door close behind them: "Mr. and Mrs. Spock need to mind meld now. Cut to Angel looking at some photographs. Kate: "His name is Tony Papazian - street name Little Tony - he's a bad guy. We already got an inditement against him for the murder of a County Supervisor, just one problem - we don't know where to send the supoena." Angel: "You can't find him." Kate: "He's still in the city, we're pretty sure. But all my sources are dry." Angel: "Want me to look into it?" Kate: "I'll pay you for whatever you can get." Angel: "I already owe you favors you don't need to.." Kate: "This isn't a favor. It's a job. That's how we do it. (Hands him a piece of paper) This number is my direct line." Angel takes it: "All right." Kate: "Time is a factor. Tony is looking to skip town." Angel: "Got it." Kate: "Find him, you call me. Nothing above nor beyond. You can not be involved in this." Angel: "You don't want to get a reputation for going outside the department." Kate: "I don't want to get a reputation for getting you killed." Cut to later. Cordy is looking through files, Doyle is searching on the computer. Angel: "Anything?" Doyle: "Plenty on Papazian - known acquaintances, hangouts - but you've got to figure the cops've already been over all of this." Angel: "Yeah, but we haven't." Doyle looks up at Angel then motions to Cordy with his head and raises his eyebrows at Angel. Angel awkwardly: "Cordelia, I wanted to, - you know, - thank you so much for - going through those coroner reports. Because I can imagine how not fun it is to read about, - you know- coroner stuff." Cordy without looking up: "Lame." Angel looks over at Doyle who just shakes his head. Angel: "What've you got?" Cordy: "The Weebies. This guy clearly has anger management issues. You've got victims and victim parts washing up all over the southern California coast." Angel picks up a file: "Long Beach, San Pedro, Carlsbad. (To Doyle) Pull up the tidal flow charts for the last 10 months. Match them to the dates of these murders.' Doyle: "Tides? What, you think this guy has some primary dumping ground? Maybe all these victims originate from the same spot?" Angel: "Somewhere Little Tony feels safe." Cut to the police station. White haired guy in uniform walks in. Kate: "Dad." Lockley: "Katie." Kate: "I saw you. Where you planning on saying hi?" Lockley: "I figured you're working. (Kate nods) I'm not here very long anyway (pulls out a manila folder) just dropping off some pension forms up in records. If you think you got a lot of red tape on the job, wait 'til you retire." Kate: "Harlan says their throwing you a send-off at the Blue Bar." Lockley: "Just some guys trying to give me a hard time. Not a big deal." Kate: "Well, he said I should say something, you know - just a few words to mark the occasion, - seeing as you're my father." Lockley: "That'll be fine. Don't got to any trouble." Kate: "It's no trouble really." Officer to Kate: "Detective, you got a call on 329." Kate to her father: "Thanks. - I guess I better.." Lockley walks away: "Yeah." Kate looks after him for a moment then goes to pick up the phone. Kate: "Lockley." Angel sitting in a car talking on a cell phone: "8843 Hyperion Way right off Pier 39. San Pedro." Kate: "You found him, you're sure?" Angel looks through some binoculars: "Max Salvage Depot. Northwest side. He's got some muscle on hand." Kate: "I'm on my way, just get out of there." Angel hangs up the phone. Picks up the binoculars again as he hears something. A yacht is coming in to pick up Little Tony. Angel: "Damn it." Tony: "And don't forget to water my plants." Muscle: "Sure thing." Tony: "Talk to them. They like that." Angel steps up next to Benny wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt and a white hat. Angle bouncing up and down on his feet: "Hi. - This is exciting, isn't it? I just love boat trips." Tony: "Who's the mook?" Angel reaches his hand out across Benny: "Herb Saunders, Baltimore." Benny to Tony: "It's Herb Saunders." Angel: "Cripes, the freeways you people have in this town. I've been driving around in circles all day. But the brochure did say the boat's leaving every two hours." Benny: "I think you're still lost." Angel points at the incoming yacht: "That's not the boat to Catalina?" Benny: "No." Angel: "Are you sure? I could have sworn the ticket said Pier 39. (Pats his pockets) It's here somewhere. I just had it." Benny: "Come on, get out of here." Tony: "Benny, I don't like that guy." Angel drops Benny with a hard left: "It's the hat, isn't it? I knew the hat was too much." The other muscle attacks Angel and he drops him with a few punches. Tony runs, but is stopped by a bunch of police cars with their sirens blaring. Kate steps out of a car and aims her gun at Tony: "Hi, Tony." Cut to later. Tony is sitting cuffed in the back of a police car. Kate to Angel: "Which part of 'Just get out of there' gave you the trouble?" Angel: "I had to do something. I mean, he was getting away." Kate: "So you decided to dress like a road flare (Angel takes off his hat and runs a hand through his hair) and put my ass and yours on the line. (Angle doesn't know what to say) Look, just go. I'll figure out something to say to my Lieutenant." Tony and Angel stare at each other as the police car drives off. Cut to the police station. Tony: "I want my phone call." Kate: "You've got to cancel your suit in Yerevan? You think you can still get your deposit back?" Tony: "You've - you've been running after me for a long time, haven't you sweetheart? If I'd know how bad you wanted me, I might have let you catch me a little sooner." Kate: "If I'd know how badly you needed the exercise, I might have let you run a little longer." Cut to a dark office. Phone rings. Receptionist: "Wolfram&Hart" Little Tony: "Give me Lee Mercer." Mercer pacing the office: "Yes Mr. Papazian, we are all ready well aware of the situation." Tony: "Are you aware that I got a certain thorn in my side?" Mercer: "Oh, yes, we understand the factors very clearly. And I think I can say with some confidence that ( A fax is printing) this thorn is about to be removed. (picks up the fax, it has a picture and information about Kate on it) Permanently." Cut to the police station. a stenographer is recording the conversation between Tony, his layer, Kate and her Lieutenant. Mercer: "And here is your copy of the court documents requesting the transfer of our client out of this precinct." Lieutenant: "What for?" Mercer: "For his own safety." Kate: "Aww, is he afraid to stay with us? (to Tony) You need a night light?" Tony: "You got a pretty mouth, Katie. Hate to see it get broken." Mercer: "I want this stricken from the record. Mr. Papazian is under tremendous stress ,due to the abuse suffered at the hands of *your* officers and an as yet un-named assailant we believe was in league with Detective Lockley at the time of the arrest." Kate: "I wouldn't know about that, Sir." Tony: "I saw you talking to him." Kate: "Yeah, was that before or after you murdered supervisor Caffrey, you fat piece of.." Lieutenant: "That's enough." Mercer: "I want her verbal abuse entered into the record." Kate: "Thh.." Mercer: "That 'thh..' , too." Lieutenant: "All of Mr. Papazian's rights will be duly respected.." Mercer: "Mr. Papazian is a very important client at Wolfram&Hart. Any further violations of his rights and there *will* be serious repercussions." Kate: "And what exactly the hell does that mean?" Mercer: "It means that we will open this case to the court of public opinion. It means that we'll shine *light* into the darkest corners of this precinct and give the people a clear view of the brutality and callousness of this police force that will make Mark Fuhrman look like Gentle Ben." Tony: "Everybody should have a lawyer like this one." Cut to Cordy sitting at her desk in Angel's outer office. Cordy smiles up at Angel: "so how nice is it to finally have a simple 'find the Crime-Lord' case? Over and done with." Angel pours himself some coffee: "Yeah." Cordy gets up: "Wait you've got pensive face." Angel leans against the wall: "I've always got pensive face." Cordy: "Well, pensive-r face." Angel: "I'm not so sure this thing is so over and done with, that's all. There is something about Little Tony." Cordy: "What something?" Angel takes a sip: "Hmm, just a feeling I got." Cordy: "Ah-hmm!" Angel: "What?" Cordy: "Nothing. I just find it *endlessly* fascinating how your feelings are *so* attuned when it comes to boring old evil, but you have *yet* to make any mention about these new shoes." Points down at her orange sandals. Angel: "Look, Cordelia. Women's shoes.. Men..(Door opens and Doyle comes in) they just don't.." Doyle: "Great shoes! New? (To Angel) So, you were right, Papazian is planning something." Cordy hits Angel on the arm and walks away. Angel: "What did you hear?" Doyle: "That Papazian is planning something." Angel: "That's it?" Doyle: "Johnny Red says, quote: Papazian is planing something." Angel nods: "I thought he might be planning something." Doyle: "See, you were right." Cordy looks from one to the other and shakes her head. Cut to the Blue Bar. Kate is being greeted by several off-duty officers as she walks up to the bar. "Homerun, Lockley." - "Way to go!" - "Nice work, Lockley." The bartender sets an open bottle of beer in front of her and Kate reaches for some money. Bartender: "No, no, your dad paid for the drink." Kate takes her drink and sits down at her dad's table. Lockley: "Tony Papazian, huh?" Kate: "Yeah." Lockley: "Well, congratulations." Kate: "Thanks." Lockley lifts his glass: "Here is hoping the bust doesn't fall apart before you finish filing the paperwork. Damn lawyers, huh?" Kate: "Yeah." Lockley sees a guy coming up to their table: "Harlan." Harlan drops a page of paper in front of Kate: "You see this?" Kate looks at it: "Sensitivity training?" Harlan: "Everyone's got to take it. Word is, it's because of what you did to Papazian." Kate: "What I did? - Oh, somebody is going to answer for this." Harlan: "Think they'll make us hug?" Kate hands the page back to him: "I'm not hugging you, sweat-boy." Lockley: "Glad I'm getting out. In my day we didn't need any damn sensitivity.' Cut to the sensitivity training session at the police station. Allen: "I'm guessing not too many of you want to be here right now. (Raises his hand) Quick show of hands, who actually *wants* to be here?" Camera pans over the officers sitting in the room. No one raises his or her hand. Allen sits down on the edge of his desk: "Well, I'm not gonna waste your time. What I'm going to do is give you some tools to help you experience the whole range of human emotions. Learning that won't just make you better people, it will help you defuse volatile situations in the field; it'll allow you to manage some of your aggression, so you won't feel so tired all the time. - In short, it'll make you better cops. - One of the tools - we use is (holds up a gnarly stick) this. It's called a talking stick. (Holds up a hand as some of the cops snicker) I know, it sounds silly. But it works - if you give it a chance. -It's our contract with each other. Who ever holds this has the right to express himself or herself completely, without judgment, within the confines of this room. (Holds out the stick) Heath?" Heath crosses his arms and sighs: "I don't think so." Allen: "Go ahead, give it a try. (Heath takes the stick) Now why don't you start by telling us something about your family. How you grew up. Any siblings?" Heath: "6 brothers." Allen: "And what was that like?" Heath: "I learned to hit back pretty quick." Laughter around the room. Allen: "You're brothers went kind of hard on you, huh? - Where were your parents?" Heath: "It was just my mom. She did the best she could." Allen: "So you had to get tough, right out of the gate. Shut down your emotions? - It's okay! You have our permission to be honest. - Is there something that you always wanted to say to your mother, - but never could?" Kate: "Will you marry me?" The others laugh softly. Allen picks up the stick and offers it to Kate: "Kate, you'd like to share something? We'd like to hear it." Kate: "No, I don't, really." Allen dares her: "Afraid? (Kate takes the stick with half a laugh) Genuine emotion makes you uncomfortable. That's okay. Your inappropriate sarcasm masks anger. And you know what anger is, Kate? - It's just fear. - Fear of being hurt. Fear of loss. You've been hurt, haven't you, Kate. And you're afraid of being hurt again. Who're you afraid is gonna hurt you?" Cut to Angel and Doyle talking to Johnny Red on his exercise machine. Johnny: "Hell, if I know." Doyle: "Yeah, but you told me you heard something, right?" Johnny huffing: "Planning something, that's all I heard." Angel: "Who'd you hear it from?" Johnny: "Guys that work for Little Tony. They're in my Thursday night spinning class." Angel: "Well, what did they say exactly?" Johnny: "Oh, they weren't actually talking to me. They were talking to a couple of guys in Izzy Broncato's crew. I overheard on account they had to shout over the bikes." Doyle: "What and all those guys were in your gym?" Johnny: "Yeah." Doyle: "Why, you got some kind of thug rate special there?" Johnny: "No, but if you want to sign up, I get a discount for bringing you in." Angel: "Gguys, what was said?" Johnny: "Right. Izzy's boys, they said to Little Tony's crew, you know, now that LT is in the clink you get to look for new employment. But LT's guys say no, because no stupid bitch is going to get the best of LT." Angel to Doyle: "You know what that means?" Doyle: "LT stands for Little Tony, yeah?" Angel shakes his head: "It means he's going after Kate." Cut to the police station. Angel comes in. Kate: "Angel." Angel: "We need to talk." Kate: "I know. I want to apologize for the other night." Angel: "You don't need to do that." Kate: "That's not what my sensitivity trainer says. Well, that's pretty goof ball, right? Still, thanks for what you did." Angel: "You're welcome." Kate: "Listen what are you doing tomorrow night, around eightish? My father is having this retirement party thing, with a bunch of his old cop buddies. I'm supposed to say a few words. It would be nice if there was at least one person there who wasn't, you know, armed. It'd be a favor." Angel: "Sure." Kate: "Okay, that was easy. I'm relieved. - Something wrong?" Angel: "Kate, I think you may be in real danger." Kate: "Okay, the relief part is done." Angel: "I've heard some things. I don't know the specifics yet, but I think that Papazian's taking a contract out on you." Kate: "Wow." Angel: "I'm going to stay on this.." Kate: "He's really acting out, isn't he?" Angel: "Well, yeah! He wants you dead." Kate: "Oh, I get that. I'm just saying that he must be in some kind of pain to strike out at other's in that way." Angel: "Are you okay?" Kate: "Oh god, listen to me. Suddenly I'm Dr. Laura. Next thing you know I'll be talking about processing and my inner child. I'm sure I'll be back to my usual level of cynicism in no time." Angel just looks at her. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to a dark mansion. Allen: "I'm sensing some tension. I think you should tell me - what are you feeling?" Mercer: "Concerned. We went to great effort and expense to get you into that precinct. Is it working?" Allen: "Of course it's working. After tomorrow's session you'll see results. (He walks over and looks at an altar covered with in a red cloth and a lot of burning candles) Incredible results." Mercer: "That makes me feel all warm inside." Cut to the retirement party at the Blue Bar. There is a cake and a 'Happy Retirement Trevor' banner. The place is crawling with cops. Angel and Kate come in. Kate picking up a glass of champagne: "Boy, I'm scared - and excited. - And consumed with dread. - And glad you're here." Angel: "I doubt even one of Little Tony's hired guns would try something in a room full of cops." Kate: "What? Oh, that, death threat hanging overhead. No I meant speaking in public." Angel: "Well, what's that old saw, about picturing your public in their underwear?" Kate looks at him: "Way ahead of you." Kate walks over to her father and kisses him on the cheek: "Happy retirement, Daddy." Lockley gesturing at Angel: "Who's this?" Kate: "Oh, this is Angel. He's a friend. Angel, this is my father." Angel shakes her father's hand: "Hello, Mr. Lockley. Congratulations." Lockley: "For what? All I did was live this long and not get shot." Kate: "Why do you do that?" Lockley: "Do what?" Kate shaking her head: "Pretend important things don't matter?" Lockley: "So, - Angel, - how long you been seeing Katie?" Angel: "We're, uhm, we're pretty new friends." Lockley: "Well, good to see her out with a man. I was starting to wonder if she didn't lean into another direction altogether." Lieutenant: "All right everyone, before we cut the cake the other officer Lockley, the good-looking one, would like to say a few words. Kate?" Applause while Kate sets down her glass and goes to stand at one end of the room. Kate: "Hello everybody. Welcome to the end of an era. Now the old man would *like* us to believe that he couldn't care less about all this attention and free booze. (Laughter) But I know him better than that. He put a lot of years in on the job, and he made a difference in a lot of lives. (Scattered cheers, her dad sits down) And now it's over. That's a huge deal, no matter what he says. In fact I'm not really sure if he knows what he's going to do with himself. He forgot how to be anything but a cop a long time ago. And maybe, - maybe that's why I became a cop too. - After mom died, you stopped , you know? It was like you couldn't stand the sight of me. Her face, her eyes looking up at you. - But big girls don't cry, right? You said, gone's gone, and there is no use wallowing. - Worms and dirt and nothing, forever. Not one word about a better place. You couldn't even tell a scared little girl a beautiful lie. (Sobs) God, I wanted to drink with you. I wanted you to laugh with me just once, the way you laughed with Jimmy here, or Frank." Lockley: "What the hell did they do to her in that class?" Angel looks over at her dad. Kate plays with her purse: "My best friend Joanne, her mom was soft, and she smelled like macaroni and cheese, and she'd pick me up on her lap and she would rock me. She said that she wanted to keep to herself. - She said that I was good and sweet. Everybody said I was. - Do you realize that you've never told me that I'm pretty? Not once in my life?" Harlan: "Keep going, Katie." Kate: "Well, I can't anymore, dad. I can't campaign for the office of your beloved daughter. You closed your heart after mom left us and that's it." Sobs. Harlan: "That was so damn brave." Lieutenant: "Are you kidding me? Her old man's party wasn't the forum." Harlan: "She can't worry about protecting him" Angel and Kate look around at the officer talking to each other. "Let it out, Dale. I always knew your mother was controlling." - "I'm passive- aggressive?" - "I'm hearing a lot of denial." Lieutenant to Harlan: "She abused the process. I'm going to tell her." Harlan: "With that breakthrough? You're completely blocked." Lieutenant: "Your need for catharsis is not the issue here." Harlan grabs him: "I'll give you catharsis!" Harlan slams the Lieutenant on a table and starts to beat him. Angel pulls Harlan off and Lockley leads the Lieutenant out. The other cops are arguing, crying or fighting. Lockley: "Keep it together, will you Jimmy? Take him down to his precinct, let him sleep it off with the drunks. Do the same with the others." Angel leads Kate out: "Let's do likewise." Cut to Angel's office. It's still night. Cordelia come in. Cordy: "All right, I'm here. What's the big emergency? These middle of the night hours are really eating into my potential social life. (Walks into the back office) Why I ever thought it was a nifty idea to work for a vam (Sees Kate lolling on a chair) trilloquist. - Hi!" Kate: "Hi." Cordy looks around, Doyle shakes his head. Angel hands Kate a cup: "Here drink this." Kate looks up at Angel: "You have the most intense eyes. I see such an old soul." Doyle: "He gets that a lot, you know." Kate: "I thought that enigmatic thing was just an act to get women. The truth is, you don't have an insincere bone in your body, do you?" Angel: "Kate, I need you to tell me about the sensitivity training. Who's running it?" Kate: "You wanna go? It's pretty wonderful. (Puts a hand on her chest) It gets you where you live." Angel: "I need to know his name." Kate shakes her head: "We all need - so much." Cordy to Doyle: "What's her deal? Too much..(makes a drinking motion with her thumb pointing at her mouth)" Doyle: "Thumb sucking?" Cordy: "Alcohol! Dummy." Doyle: "Don't look at me like that. I'm not the one that needs to brush up on their finger pantomime. (Sighs) It's something to do with the training she had at work." Kate give the notice about the sensitivity training to Angel then gets up and walks over to Cordy and Doyle. Kate in a singsong voice: "Some one's got a crush." Doyle: "What?" Kate to Cordy: "It's right there, how he feels about you. And you don't know what to do about it." Cordy: "Please! We just joke around." Kate: "Where is the truth? Where is the truth? He is hiding behind Mr. Humor. I mean, look at - look at Doyle.. really look at him, what do you see?" Cordy: "A bad double-poly blend?" Kate: "That's defense, Cordelia. Maybe you should open your heart to a new possibility!" Doyle: "Hey, you know, she's starting to make some sense.." Cordy yells: "Angel!" Angel comes back in: "I've got his address. 322 Fletcher." Kate to Angel: "What are your secrets, Angel. What aren't you telling me?" Cordy: "I'm so glad I came down to watch 'Latenight' with creepy cop lady." Angel: "You came down here to stay with her while I find this guy. Don't let her out of your sight." Cut to Angel walking into the candle lit room with the altar that we saw earlier. He looks at the offerings on the altar. The talking stick is alying on top an open book. Allen: "What's going on here?" Angel: "That's a good question, Allen." Cut to Kate rocking on a chair hugging her knees. Cordy: "Can we get you some coffee or Valium, or both?" Kate: "He walked out on me. He just walked out." Cordy: "Oh, - he'll be back." Kate: "Not Angel, my father." Cordy: "Oh." Kate gets up and grabs her purse: "I have to find him." Doyle: "Maybe you should just hold off on that for the time being. Angel said to wait right here." Kate: "I hear what you're saying, but I have to go find my Daddy now." Doyle: "Detective Lockley, you're not exactly yourself at the moment. Why don't we all just.." Kate: "Help each other!" Doyle: "Right, by staying here together!" Kate: "Yeah, we could do that, but you see I have this.." Cordy: "Personal problem that you're going to share until dawn?" Kate pulls her gun out of her purse and waves it around: "..gun, and I don't want to come off as insensitive, but if either of you tries to stop me I'm gonna have to blow you the crap away, because I got to go find my Daddy." Cordy and Doyle let her go. Cut to Angel pacing in front of the altar. Angel: "Which demon do you worship, huh? Which one *gives* you your power?" Allen: "A whole bunch actually. I'm a polytheist." Angel: "I'm not here to play games." Allen backs away from Angel: "You have rage. I get that." Angel: "What did you do to Kate Lockley?" Allen: "Do you know what anger is? It is nothing but fear." Angel: "Yeah, well, I know what fear is. I can smell it right now." Allen: "That's good. Give yourself permission to open up. (Angel frowns at him) What were your parents like?" Angel ducks as Allen tries to hit him with the talking stick. Angel: "My parents were great. (Grabs a hold of the stick, turns vamp and pushes Allen up against the wall with it) Tasted a lot like chicken. Why don't you talk, huh?" Cut to the police station. All the cops are being very sensitive (hugging, crying, yelling...) "Sorry I was insensitive, George!" - "Listen, I'm having an epiphany!" Heath gets some keys out of his pocket: "It's not right. All trapped together like this. The bigger ones picking on the weaker ones." Cut to a bunch of bored prisoners sitting in their cells, including Little Tony. Heath comes up looks through the bars into the cell clock: "It's not right Makes them more brutal then they were when they came in." Goes and hits the unlock buttons for the cells. The prisoners slowly get out of their cells. Heath unlocks the door into the cell block and walks in. Heath looking around at the prisoners: "Remember this, brothers. An act of kindness is just as manly as.." The prisoners jump him and beat him to the ground. Cut to Kate running into the station (which is in utter chaos): "Dad? - Daddy!" Cut to a car crash. Cop talking to the two drivers: "You want to talk about whiplash? I'll tell you about whiplash. I've got emotional whiplash from having to deal with people like you day in and day out. If any one's the victim here, it's me. I've alienated my friends, my family, - my own children are afraid of me. I can't even make love to my wife." Cut to Angel running down the street past a cop, an old lady on a bench and a young guy. Cop: "I hear what you're saying, but I don't think that you are listening to your mugger's feelings at all." Cut to Angel running up to the entrance of the police station. Cordy: "Oh, boy.." Angel: "What are you two doing..." Doyle: "It's Kate we followed her here." Cordy: "She's totally lost it. She looked like she is ready to do some damage." Doyle: "And it's not just her by the looks of things." Cordy: "The whole place is going nuts! This is so not good." Angel smiles at them: "Okay, I think someone needs a hug." Doyle and Cordy: "Huh?" Angel pulls them both into a hug. Cordy: "Ack, eww? Eww!" Cordy and Doyle push Angel off them. Cordy: "Hey! What's your damage?" Doyle: "I think he's just found Mr. Sensitivity." Angel puts a hand on his heart: "He was right in here all the time, just waiting to come out. - Gosh, what our folks do to us, huh?" Cut to Kate talking on the phone: "Please daddy if you're there pick up. We need to talk." Cut to outside. Cordy to Angel: "He put the whammy on you! You stink with whammy!" Doyle: "She's right." Angel smiles and nods: "Talking stick, it's cursed all right." Cordy to Doyle: "There's a stick that talks?" Angel: "Cordelia, do you have *any* idea just how *precious* you are?" Doyle: "All right, let's talk just about this stick." Angel: "He uses it as a talisman. Anyone that touches the stick becomes infected. He admitted it to me after I (looks away from them and swallows) - threatened him with violence." Cordy to Doyle: "What's his trip?" Angel: "Wolfram&Hart, the firm, hired this guy to neutralize the police, so Little Tony could make his escape. It'll wear off." Cordy: "Soon?" Doyle: "So there was never any contract on detective Lockley?" Angel: "No, Little Tony was planning all along just to kill her himself. *Poor* guy." Cordy: "Poor guy?" Angel: "Well, he's got issues." Doyle: "Angel, man, you've got to snap out of this!" Cordy: "Right now. It's time for you to get all vampy - grr! - Kate needs you." Angel shakes his head: "I don't want to. You both withdraw when I go vamp. I feel you judge me." Cordy: "We won't judge you, (to Doyle) will we? (To Angel) give it a try." Angel shakes his head: "Closeness is too important to me right now." Doyle: "Angel, man, Kate is in there." Cordy: "Along with killer guy." Doyle walks up to the door. It's locked. Cop through the door: "We're closed." Doyle: "You're the police! You can't close." Cop: "Why not? Haven't we done enough? It's always 'find this, rescue that' with you people. Well, see how you like it!" Cop pulls down the blind hard and rips it off. Cut to cop talking to a black prisoner. Cop: "I'd to apologize for having treated you so shabbily, so I wrote a poem about it. (Reads) 'I saw a leaf and I did cry..." Harlan walks up to Kate who is leaning on top of her desk: "It hurts, doesn't it? When people don't listen to you? When they reject you?" Kate looks up at him: "You know?" Harlan: "I ought to. For two years I've been saying to you with everything I have: love me, Kate. Need me the way I need you. But you never notice - never return my desire. You just sit at that desk, next to mine.. smelling the way you do.. taunting me." A gun shot sounds. Cut to Little Tony firing a shotgun in the air. Tony to some of the other prisoners he just armed: "You guys - you're working for Little Tony now. You'll find I'm stern (shoots a cop) but fair. - Now come on, lets kill us a Lady cop." Cut to an empty police office. Form outside: Cordy: "We need a rock." Angel: "I can't say that I'm comfortable with all this." Cordy: "Don't argue, this is the only way in." Doyle: "Here this one should do it." Rock hits the wall. Cordy: "Aim for the window!" Doyle: "I was." Cordy: "Give me that!" Rock flies through window. Doyle: "Nice arm!" Cordy: "Angel, now it's your turn, come on!" Angel pushes in the bars. Cut to Tony and his spooks walking down the corridor carrying guns. Cut to Cordy, Doyle and Angel climbing in through the window. Cordy: "Come on! Lets go!" Angel points at the broken window: "Wow. That's vandalism." Doyle: "Ah, we'll take care of it later." Angel: "We should leave a note." Cordy: "Would you come on?" Angel: "What's the magic word?" Cordy: "Urgh!" Angel: "No, I don't think 'urgh' is the magic word, if one would *call* it a word. And even then it's certainly not a magic one." Cordy: "We don't have time for this!" Angel: "There is always time to be considerate of others, Cordelia." Cordy huffs: "Oh, please!" Angel: "See? That wasn't so hard now, was it?" Cut Tony walking into the main police station. Tony to Kate: "Thought you finally it over on me, huh? Thought you were smarter than Little Tony. Well, nobody beats me baby. Not even a stone bitch like you." Kate stands up: "I am not a bitch! I'm just protected." Tony: "No one protecting you now." Angel: "Hey! (Walks in slowly with Cordy and Doyle behind him) I'm feeling some serious negative energy in this room." Cordy: "Go on. Take care of him!" Tony with a smile to Angel: "Oh, I've been wanting to see you again." Kate: "I'm sure he'd say the same thing, but that gun really makes you come off as hostile." Angel: "That and the body language. It's so closed." Kate: "Yeah." Doyle: "Angel, man, *fight*, don't talk." Cordy: "We are so dead." Angel pats a chair in front of Tony: "Now, why don't we all sit down together and process this?" Tony with a smile: "Seems that sensitivity training I paid for really took, huh, Nancy Boy?" Angel picks up the chair and smashes it in Tony's face, knocking the guy beside him down as well. Kate shoots the third guy with her gun. Kate: "How do you think that makes me feel?" Cordy steps on the second guys gun as he tries to pick himself back up and Doyle kicks him in the face and picks up the gun himself. Angel: "Okay, now I'm feeling unheard." Angel starts to beat up on Tony. Angel: "You know, Anthony you could be a rainbow and not a (hits him over the head and drops him) painbow. (Kate stares at him) I mean, it really is all up to you." Kate shakes her head: "You." Angel turns towards her and smiles: "No, you." Kate opens her arms to him: "Come here." They hug. Cordy: "Ugh, - anyone for vomit?" Kate and Angel separate and look at Tony laying on the floor. Angel shakes his head with a sigh: "It's so sad, isn't it?" Kate shakes her head: "Some people just really need to live in the problem." Cut to Wolfram&Hart's firm. Mercer is listening to Tony on the phone. Tony: "What the hell am I paying you for? Where the hell are you? I want my limo here now." Mercer: "I'm afraid that's not possible Mr. Papazian." Tony: "What? What are you telling me?" Mercer: "You shot up a precinct and attempted to murder a police officer in full view of witnesses. We can't risk that kind of exposure." Tony: "You're the ones that set this thing up!" Mercer: "We opened the door for you. The point was for you to walk through it, not blast your way out. The senior partners feel that you have become a liability. We can't waste energy on you when there are more pressing issues at hand." Tony: "Pressing issues? (Mercer is looking at a tape of Angel confronting Tony at the precinct) What pressing issues?" Mercer: "Our relationship is terminated, as is this phone call." Tony slams the receiver back in it's cradle. Cut to the precinct the next day. Cop: "Morning." Other cop: "Yeah right." Angel to Kate: "How do you feel?" Kate: "Pretty foolish, you?" Angel: "I'm all right." Kate: "Internal affairs is investigating the Blue Bar. They think someone there spiked the punch. Seems like everybody there went a little crazy. I know I did with my Dad." Angel: "Well, maybe it helped." Kate: "Did I - did I say anything to you?" Angel: "I'm a little fuzzy myself." Kate: "Good. - Well, I should get back to work." Angel: "Yeah, me too." Walks off slowly. Kate stands there unsure for a moment, then sees her dad walking up to her. Kate: "Hi." Lockley: "Katie. (Angel hears them and turns in the doorway to watch and listen) Got your messages on my machine." Kate: "Yeah, that was kind of a bizarre night. I.." Lockley: "Katie.. - Don't - don't say anything. You make an idiot out of yourself, embarrass me in front of the guys. You don't bring that up ever again. As far as I'm concerned - it didn't happen." Kate watches as her dad turns and walks out. Angel watches Kate as she slowly sits down at her desk, then swallows, turns and walks away.

Plan: A: Kate; Q: Who gets into trouble for roughing up Little Tony? A: Little Tony; Q: Who is the prisoner that Kate roughs up? A: sensitivity training; Q: What is Kate forced to go to after she roughs up Little Tony? A: Little Tony's; Q: Whose lawyers are Wolfram and Hart? A: a plan; Q: What do Wolfram and Hart have to set their client free? A: a spell; Q: What do Wolfram and Hart cast on the police force to set Little Tony free? A: all the officers; Q: Who is expressing their true feelings? A: lives; Q: What are in danger when the police are being too sensitive? A: Angel Inc.; Q: What group tries to stop the chaos? A: the chaos; Q: What does the gang at Angel Inc. try to stop? Summary: Kate lands in some hot water after she roughs up a prisoner named Little Tony. She and the entire police department are forced to go to sensitivity training. Unfortunatly, Little Tony's lawyers are Wolfram and Hart. They have a plan to set their client free by casting a spell on the whole police force. Soon, all the officers are expressing their true feelings and being so sensitive that lives are in danger. The gang at Angel Inc. tries to stop the chaos, but Angel quickly winds up in trouble of his own.

[Scene: Manor. Living room. A demon throws a lightning ball at Piper and she dives over the couch. The demon then throws another at the couch, destroying it.] Piper: Paige, where are you! (Paige orbs in with Phoebe.) Look out! (The demon is about to throw another lightning ball and Phoebe knocks her arm. The lightning ball hits the piano. The demon punches Phoebe and she flies against the fireplace. Piper runs over and kicks the demon. She gets a spell out of her pocket.) Piper, Phoebe, Paige: "Cause of pain we have dissevered, demon you are gone forever." (The demon is vanquished.) Piper: Sorry to bother you but she was immune to my powers. (They stand up.) Phoebe: That's okay, I was just getting ready to leave work. (Paige notices a scratch on Phoebe's shoulder.) Paige: Oh, honey, you're hurt. Phoebe: Oh, it's okay, it's just a scratch. Piper: How's it going? How's the new place? Phoebe: Great, and great. How about you? Piper: Can't complain. Paige: Ditto. Phoebe: It's good to know that we can live apart and still kick some butt if we have to, right? So do I wanna ask about this demon with the bad manicure? Piper: Ah, Harpi. Part of a faction. Tried to kill us to move up in the world. You know, pretty standard stuff. You wanna stay for dinner? Phoebe: Mm, I would love to but Cole is planning this whole romantic thing for us tonight. Piper: Yeah, I just thought, you know, maybe we could talk. Phoebe: Why? Are you okay? Is everything okay? Piper: Yeah, everything's fine, I just thought maybe we could catch up. Another time. Paige: Do you want me to, um, orb you home? Phoebe: No, Cole's not so crazy about you orbing in without calling first. Except for emergencies, you know. You understand. Paige: Sure. Whatever. Phoebe: Okay. I'm gonna go. (There's an awkward silence.) I'll call you guys. (Phoebe leaves.) Paige: No orbing? Piper: Don't start with the suspicions, Paige. Cole's probably just trying to protect their privacy. (Piper walks away.) Paige: He's trying to protect something. [Scene: Phoebe and Cole's apartment. Cole is there having a meeting with about six other demons.] Cole: I'm just trying to protect our assets. And the only way to do that is to cut our losses. Consolidate our resources. Keep the competition from killing you. Us. Demon #1: Fine, what are you proposing? Cole: A merger. Everyone here has some merge enders, right? So, why don't we work together to accomplish them? (A Fury smokes in.) You're late. Sit down. (The Fury and a Grimlock sit at the table.) Where was I? Demon #1: You were just encouraging us to hold hands and be friends. Cole: It's a new millennium. We need to think of new ways to ensure our own survival. Let's face it, it's a demony demon world out there. Each one of you leads a faction, but that is the problem. You're too busy trying to kill each other. In the end, everyone loses. Demon #2: Tell that to the Grimlocks. They tried to vanquish us just last week. Grimlock: You had it coming. Demon #2: Care to try again. (They stand up and face each other.) Cole: My point exactly. In fighting has always been our undoing. And I have learnt from the humanity in me, the only way for us to defeat good is to work together to achieve common goals. (Demon #2 and the Grimlock sit back down.) Demon #1: And who will decide what these goals are? You? Cole: Unless someone wants to challenge me. (The elevator dings.) Meeting's adjourned. (The demons shimmer, smoke, etc. out. Cole waves his hand and the table disappears. The elevator door opens. Cole waves his hand once more and a smaller table appears set out with candles. Phoebe walks in.) Hi, honey. You're home early. (She smiles.) Opening Credits [Scene: Phoebe and Cole's apartment. Cole has served breakfast.] Cole: Vegetarian eggwhite omelette just the way you like it. (He kisses the top of her head.) Phoebe: That's sweet, honey, but I think my stomach has other plans. Cole: What's the matter? Phoebe: Headache, upset stomach. It's going around right now. Cole: So, maybe you should call in sick. Phoebe: While so many relationships are in peril? What would San Francisco do without my advice column? I gotta go. (They kiss.) Um, I wanna invite my sisters over for dinner this week. Is that okay? Cole: Well, we just moved out. Phoebe: Yeah, I know, but I wanna show them the place. Besides, I don't want them to think that they're not still part of my life, you know. Cole: Fine, just no orbing, alright? Phoebe: Already taken care of. (He goes to kiss her and sees the scratch on her shoulder.) Cole: What happened? Phoebe: Oh, nothing, my shoulder just got in the way of a Harpis claw, that's all. Cole: A Harpi? You got attacked? Why didn't you tell me? Phoebe: Because I didn't think it was that big of a deal, that's why. Cole: Well, it is to me! Sorry, I'm sorry. (He puts his arms around her.) It's just I think I deserve to know when my wife gets hurt. Phoebe: You're right, you do. (They kiss. Julie walks in.) Julie: Excuse me, Mr. Turner. Your 9:00 is waiting in the lobby. Phoebe: Julie. What are you doing here? You didn't tell me she was here. Cole: Well, we're working at the apartment today, they're painting my office. You don't mind do you? Phoebe: No, no. Of course not. (They kiss. Julie rolls her eyes.) Make yourself at home. Julie: I will, thank you. (Phoebe leaves.) Pretty little witch if you're into that sort of thing. Cole: I am. Get the leader of the Harpis. I want to explain to her the consequences of attacking my wife. (Julie shimmers out.) [Scene: A cave. The vampire queen is lying on some cushions while other women vampires pamper her. Demon #1 is there talking to the queen.] Queen: You don't really expect me to wage war on the new Source without even talking to him first, do you? Demon #1: It's a waste of time. He'll never bring you back from exile. He's heard the stories of what you did. Queen: That was a different time. And a different Source. Demon #1: Still, it's not going to happen. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't sure of that. Male Vampire: Then what makes working for us any better than working for him? Demon #1: You oughta listen better. I don't work for anyone. We'd be equals. Partners. And once the Source is dead, we'd go our separate ways. So? Queen: I'll let you know. When I'm ready. (Demon #1 shimmers out.) I want you to offer the new Source an olive branch. Male Vampire: And if he refuses? Queen: Then Keats has a new ally and we have a new enemy. (The male vampire walks away.) Go. (The women vampires leave her alone.) [Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Piper is there washing the dishes. Leo walks in.] Leo: Plenty of leftovers. You probably won't have to do any cooking for a week. Piper: I like to cook. Leo: Well, there's less dishes to do and that's a good thing, right? Piper: I guess. It's just with Phoebe and Cole gone it's so quiet around here. Everybody I grew up with is gone. Leo: Still, we can make it noisy again, with kids. (He puts his arms around her.) People who will grow up with us. We have an extra room now, right? Piper: Right. (They kiss. Paige walks in.) Paige: Ooh, sorry, am I interrupting? Leo: Uh, actually, I need to get going. There's an upsurge in demonic activity and the Elders wanna figure out why. Paige: Well, since that demonic activity spilled into our living room last night, I'm assuming it has something to do us. Leo: I'll keep an eye out and let you know if I find anything out. (to Piper) I love you. Piper: I love you too. (They kiss and he orbs out.) Paige: You okay? Piper: Me? Yeah, I'm fine. Paige: Liar. Look, I know I am not Phoebe but I am still your sister and you can talk to me. Piper: It's, it's just silly. My, uh, period was late this month by a couple of days and I guess I got my hopes up a little. Paige: That's not silly, honey, you want kids, right? Piper: Yeah, of course, it's just that we've been trying... Paige: For a couple of months Piper: Four. But who's counting. Paige: Oh, Piper, you're not baking cookies, you know. It's gonna take some time. Piper: Yeah, I know, I guess I was just worried that something could be wrong. Getting flung around by demons isn't exactly conducive to making babies. Paige: Okay, a) you're gonna have kids, you saw that in your future, and b) I am living proof that magic happens when Whitelighters and witches get together. So the sooner you stop worrying about it, the sooner I will be an aunt. Piper: Thanks. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Phoebe and Cole's apartment. Cole and Julie are there.] Julie: The leader of the Harpis won't be coming to see you. I'm afraid things got out of hand for her. Cole: Nice work. What's next? Julie: Rowan's waiting to see you. Apparently the queen would like in on the new alliance. Cole: Send him in. (Julie points to the blinds and they close, making the room dark.) Julie: He'll see you now. (Rowan walks out from the corner of the room over to Cole.) Rowan: Thank you for the audience. Queen sent me to... Cole: You can tell your queen that if she steps a foot inside my realm, she'll beg me to banish her again. Rowan: Sent me to tell you that we've learnt our lesson, and we're willing to serve you. Cole: No thanks. I already have enough demons betraying me. Rowan: You haven't even heard our offer. Cole: I think you should be leaving now. (Paige orbs in.) Paige. Paige: Oops, I just thought I'd pop in. Rowan: From where? Paige: Uh, the kitchen. I'm not interrupting anything am I? Cole: No, we're done here. Elevator's that way, Rowan. (Rowan leaves.) What the hell do you think you're doing? This is exactly why I don't want you people orbing in here. Paige: You people? Nice. Cole: What do you want? Paige: Phoebe. I think Piper needs to talk to her. Cole: Well, you missed her. But why don't you orb on over to the newspaper, I'm sure those journalists can keep a secret. Paige: Just tell her I stopped by, okay? And I gotta ask, why is it so dark in here in the middle of the day? Cole: Migraine. Which you're only adding to. Paige: You know, what, Cole? Just bite me. (Paige walks outside. Rowan is there waiting for the elevator. The elevator dings and the doors open.) Rowan: After you. (Paige walks in the elevator and Rowan follows.) Nice guy, huh? Uh, Cole. Paige: You a lawyer? Rowan: No. Why? Paige: Because only another lawyer would think that. Rowan: No, I was being sarcastic. Paige: About being a lawyer. Rowan: No, about thinking he was a nice guy. (Paige laughs.) Paige: Sorry. Rowan: I'm Rowan. Paige: Paige. Nice to meet you. (They shake hands.) So how long have you disliked Cole? Rowan: Um, ever since I first met him. (Paige laughs.) You? Paige: Uh, pretty much just recently, ever since he married my sister. You have any siblings? Rowan: Oh, yeah, my family's real big. Paige: Then you know what it's like to have to bite your tongue. Rowan: Been there done that. Listen, uh, I'd like to continue this but we've just run out of floors. Any chance we could get together? Paige: Well, my sister, my other sister owns this nightclub called P3 and I'll be there later if you wanna stop by. Rowan: I'll drop in. Paige: Okay. (She walks out of the elevator.) Are you coming? Rowan: Oh, no, underground parking. [Cut to the underground. The vampire cave. Rowan is there talking to the queen.] Queen: You're certain of your identity? Rowan: She's the sister of the Source's new bride. That makes her a Charmed One. Queen: This might be our lucky day. And you said meeting with the new Source would be useless. Demon #1: He refused your offer, didn't he. Queen: Yes, but he gave us something much more valuable instead. If we can get a Charmed One on our side, we can use her magic to take over the underworld before the new Source can. We can destroy him and anyone else who apposes us. Demon #1: Yeah, but she's a witch. They don't change sides on a whim. Rowan: Oh, I think I can get her to see things our way. With your permission of course. Queen: By all means. Take whomever you need. [Scene: P3. Paige is waiting around for Rowan. Piper and Leo walk over to her.] Piper: Your mystery man still pulling a disappearing act? Paige: I can't believe he stood me up. Piper: Well, I'm glad I'm not dating anymore. Paige: Yeah, well, I should've known better to think I could meet a guy through Cole. Piper: Paige, I have two words for you. Broken and record. If you keep this up, you're just gonna end up pushing Phoebe further away. Leo: She's right. Paige: That's more than two words. (Phoebe walks up to them.) Phoebe: Hi. Do I still get free drinks here or do I have to pay now? Piper: Whoa, you don't look so good. Are you okay? Phoebe: That's partly why I'm here. I thought it was just a bug and now I'm not so sure. So I'm wondering if maybe it has something to do with, you know, the scratch. Paige: Maybe you're turning into a Harpi. Oh, god, are you? Phoebe: Well, that's how Piper turned into a Wendigo. Or is it the fury? Piper: I've turned into so many things, I can't keep track. Leo: You know, I wouldn't worry, you can't turn into a Harpi just by getting scratched. Phoebe: Yeah, but still, do you know mind, you know... (Leo goes to heal Phoebe's shoulder but Piper stops him.) Piper: Hey, hey, hey, a little discretion in in public. (Piper slaps him on the arm.) Leo: Hey. (Phoebe and Paige slap him too.) [Time lapse. Piper, Phoebe, Paige and Leo are in another room. Leo is healing Phoebe's arm.] Leo: Feel any better? Phoebe: A little I think. Piper: So any word from the Elders on what's going on? Leo: No, not yet. Phoebe: Why, what's going on? Piper: A lot of bad guys, apparently more than usual. Phoebe: Should we be worried? Piper: Nope, not until after dinner. You wanna join us? Phoebe: Um, okay, sure why not. Paige: I'm not, I'm gonna go. I don't want Rowan thinking I was waiting for him if he shows up this late. Piper: God forbid. (to Leo) You buying? Leo: Uh, you kidding? (Piper and Leo leave the room.) Paige: Phoebe, uh, I think you should try to find a moment to talk to Piper. Phoebe: Why, is something wrong? Paige: No, not really, I just think she could use your support about something. That's why I orbed over to your place this morning... Phoebe: Wait, you orbed over to my place? After I specifically asked you not to. Paige, what were you thinking? Paige: I was just trying to help Piper. Phoebe: Was Cole upset? Paige: A little... a lot. Phoebe: Great, Paige. Just great. (Phoebe leaves the room.) Paige: I was just trying to help. [Cut to outside P3. Paige heads for her car. She hears a noise and looks around. She walks quicker to her car and suddenly a bat flies down and bites her. She falls to the ground. Dozens of bats fly down and start attacking her. She screams. The bats fly off.] [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Hospital. A room. Paige is lying on a bed with bite marks over her face. A doctor is standing beside her bed.] Paige: So am I the weirdest case you've ever seen? Doctor: I don't know. I've worked the night shift for a while now. Seen some pretty strange things. Paige: Yeah, but these were bats, doc. (Piper, Phoebe and Leo race in the room.) Phoebe: Paige, Paige, oh my god. Are you okay? Piper: What happened? Paige: Bats. Lots of bats. Doctor: Are you the sisters? Phoebe: Yeah. Is she gonna be alright? Doctor: Honestly, if she hadn't been found by somebody in time, she might've bled to death. Leo: But she's gonna be okay? Doctor: Yes. Have some rest, and rabies shots. Paige: Ouch. Piper: You got attacked by bats outside of my club? That can't be natural. Can it? Doctor: Well, bat bites aren't completely unheard of in this city. I have a friend over at county, he treated one a couple of months ago. Paige: Right, but these were bats plural. (The doctor's pager beeps.) Doctor: I'll be right back. Excuse me. (He leaves the room.) Leo: Sounds more natural than supernatural to me. Paige: Yeah, well, I'm thinking vampires. Piper: Vampires? That'd be different. Phoebe: No, that's not possible. Paige: Why not? Phoebe: Well, because as far as I know, vampires attack in human form and not as a swarm of bats. You know, it's gotta be something else. Leo: It's true, vampires have been ostracized from the underworld for centuries. As far as I know they're apart of a whole different network now. (The doctor and a nurse walks in.) Doctor: I'm sorry, Lisa here is going to draw some blood so we can run some tests. Paige: That mean I can go home? Doctor: I don't see why not. (The nurse gets Paige's arm ready to draw blood.) I'm gonna get you started on antibiotics and we've scheduled first of the rabies shots in the morning. (The doctor leaves. The nurse gets out a needle and draws Paige's blood.) Nurse: Okay, make a fist. Relax your hand now. Almost done. (Phoebe makes a noise.) Leo: Are you okay? Paige: Yeah, as long as I don't look. Leo: No, I didn't mean you... (Phoebe faints.) Piper: Phoebe? [Scene: Phoebe and Cole's apartment. Cole and Julie are there.] Cole: Damn it. Where is she? Julie: What about the Grimlocks? Cole: The Grimlocks? You think they attacked her? If they did, I'll crush their skulls with my bear hands. Julie: Who said romance is dead. We were talking about who we can trust, remember? Grimlocks... yay or nay? Cole: I'm sorry. Uh, yeah, Grimlocks are okay. Keats is the only one I don't trust. (The phone rings.) That's gotta be her. Julie: We can only hope. (Cole answers the phone.) Cole: Phoebe? Phoebe: Hi, honey. Cole: Are you alright? I-I called your cell, you didn't pick up. Phoebe: Yeah, well, that's probably because I was unconscious. Cole: What? Did a demon hurt you? [Cut to Piper's car. Leo is driving, Piper is in the passenger seat and Phoebe and Paige are in the back seats.] Phoebe: (on phone) No, it was nothing like that. I just, uh, I fainted. Cole: Fainted? (A car's lights shine in the window. Paige flinches.) Paige: Oh, why do people gotta keep their high beams on? Phoebe: Yeah, it wasn't a big deal. Cole: Phoebe, people just don't faint for no reason. Phoebe: Well, I've been pretty run down and the doctor said I might be anaemic so he took some blood to make sure that's all it is. Cole: Well, maybe you oughta get Leo to check that Harpi scratch in case... Phoebe: I already did and he said there's nothing to worry about. Besides, we have bigger demonic issues that we have to deal with right now. Paige was bitten by a bunch of bats. Cole: Bats? Are you sure? Paige: (to herself) I'm sure he's all broken up about it. Phoebe: Yeah, she's okay, Leo's gonna heal her when we get home. So you wanna meet us there? Cole: I am home, Phoebe, you called me. Phoebe: I meant the manor. I'm sorry. [Cut to Cole.] Cole: I'm on my way. (He hangs up.) Julie: You think it was Rowan? Cole: He must have been trying to turn her. Julie: You can't let them get a Charmed One on their side, they'll be too powerful. Cole: Don't you think I know that! Damn it. Gather the faction leaders. The queen wants a war she's got one. (He heads for the door.) Julie: Where are you going? Cole: To the manor. To help save... Paige. [Scene: Manor. Attic. Piper, Phoebe, Paige and Leo are there. Piper is looking through the Book of Shadows. Leo is healing Paige.] Piper: Manticore. Phoebe: Fights but doesn't fly. Piper: Phoenix. Phoebe: Flies but doesn't fight. Piper: Chupakobra. Phoebe: God bless you. Flies and bites but only attacks livestock. Leo: What about shapeshifters? Paige: What about this being a waste of time. Look at me, I'm fine. Let's just call it a night. Piper: Paige, if you're tired, just go to bed. We'll wake you up if we find something. Paige: Fine. I'll be asleep. (She leaves the attic.) Piper: She's a delight. Leo: She's been through a lot, she just needs some rest. Phoebe: Isn't there some way you can help us narrow down the suspects? Leo: With every demonic faction in town it makes it kinda hard. Phoebe: Okay, so what's going on? Is there a demon convention in San Francisco or what? Piper: Yes, there is a demonic electoral college, they've called a meeting and they're voting in a new Source. (Phoebe and Leo laugh.) Phoebe: You think? Piper: Well, not the voting part, but maybe I mean, there's gotta be somebody pretty powerful that's bringing together these factions, which means... Leo: Evil may have a new leader. (Cole walks in.) Phoebe: Cole. Cole: Honey, I came as soon as I could. (Phoebe races over and hugs him.) Phoebe: I'll be fine, don't worry. Cole: How's Paige? Where is she? Leo: She's sleeping, I healed her. Cole: Are you sure? Leo: Yeah, why? Piper: Do you know what we're up against? Cole: Well, bats that bite can only mean one thing. Vampires. Phoebe: No, we ruled them out. It doesn't seem like their MO. Cole: Have you ever seen a vampire? Phoebe: No, but I've read about them. Cole: Well, I've dealt with them. You can trust --- you can trust me. Piper: I think he may be right. Leo: Wait, you dealt with vampires as a demon? How is that possible? I thought they were pariahs in the underworld. Cole: Well, I wasn't too picky who I dealt with. I didn't care that the Source had banished them for selling him out to his enemies. Leo: Well, why attack a Charmed One now? What do they want? Cole: Well, there must be a power struggle. They must be trying to overtake the underworld. Phoebe: By killing Paige? Cole: No, by turning her into a vampire. Piper: Paige! (They leave the attic and go into Paige's room. It's dark and they turn on the light.) Where'd she go? (They see Paige hanging upside down from the roof.) Phoebe: Oh my god! Paige. (Paige turns into a bat.) Cole: Watch out! (She flies out the window.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Manor. Attic. Phoebe tips out some stuff from a box.] Phoebe: I ransacked the whole house and this is all I could find. Piper: Okay, so what do we do about the holy water? Leo: I can get some. Cole: You know, that stuff's only gonna help you fight off the vampires, it's not gonna change Paige back. Paige: Yeah, I'm working on that. According to the book, if you kill a vampire queen then all her little vampires die with her. Cole: Really? Interesting. They certainly don't like the spread that around. Phoebe: But that's not gonna work because then it'll kill Paige too. Piper: No, not if she hasn't bitten anyone. Apparently the transformation only takes place after blood is spilled. Or in this case sucked. Phoebe: Okay, so we have to kill the queen fast. How do we vanquish her? Piper: With the power of three. Phoebe: Ugh, of course. Can't anything be easy? Piper: Oh, it gets worse. Vampires are immune to witchy powers. Leo: Well, I'll get the holy water once I fill in the Elders about the new Source. (He orbs out.) Cole: New Source? There's a new Source? Phoebe: Yeah, we think so. Cole: Any idea who it is? Phoebe: No, not yet. Piper: Okay, let's just focus on finding Paige. So if you were undead, where would you be. Phoebe: Cemetery. Piper: Right. Let's go, we don't have a lot of time. And we've got a bunch of them to check out. Cole: Whoa, Phoebe. I-I don't want you to go. Phoebe: What? Cole: Well, it's too dangerous. What happens if you faint again, but this time in the middle of a vampire attack. Phoebe: Baby, that's not gonna happen. Cole: How can you be sure? I don't wanna lose you. Phoebe: I don't wanna lose Paige. I don't understand, weren't you just telling us that we had to save Paige? Cole: Yeah, but that was before I heard all the facts. You need the power of three, I'm sure Paige is not gonna be in a rhyming mood. Piper: So what do you suggest? That we let her spend eternity as a vampire? Phoebe: She's still my sister. And that doesn't change because I happen to be sick. Or because I'm your wife. (Phoebe leaves and Piper follows. Cole flames out.) [Cut to Phoebe and Cole's apartment. Cole flames in. The faction leaders are sitting around a table.] Cole: The vampires are trying to convert my wife's sister. A Charmed One. I'm interpreting this as an act of war against me. Keats: Wait a second now, let's not overreact. Maybe this is some kind of misunderstanding. Cole: I don't misunderstand anything. I want the vampires exterminated. Every last one of them. Grimlock: The vampires multiply too fast. We could never get them all. Cole: If we kill the queen they all die. Keats: I've never heard that. What's your source. Cole: Are you questioning my orders? (Fire images show in Cole's eyes.) Keats: No, of course not. Cole: I want the queen. Dispatch your forces. Tell them to torture any vampire they see. Make them talk. But don't forget, my wife is out there too. Anyone lays a claw on her, will answer to me. Leave. Demons: As you wish. (They flame, smoke, etc out. Keats stays behind. Cole gives him a look and he shimmers out.) Julie: What about the other sister? Are you gonna let her die with the queen? It would eliminate the Charmed Ones. Cole: Phoebe would be devastated. But I wouldn't be. [Scene: Vampire cave. The queen is munching on a person. He is screaming. She finishes and screws up her face.] Rowan: Uh, sorry to interrupt you during dinner. Queen: That's alright, I've had better. Is she here then? Rowan: Just arrived. (Paige walks in.) Queen: She's perfect. She'll fit right in. Rowan: I thought you'd like her. (The queen walks over to Paige.) Queen: Are you hungry, my dear. Paige: Famished. Queen: That's wonderful. Now for your first meal, I have two savory victims in mind. (Some female vampires walk over to Paige and place red robes over her shoulders.) Female Vampire: Here you are. Paige: Anything for you, my queen. Queen: I want you to go back to your sisters, Paige, take a taste of your own blood. It will seal your conversion and turn them as well. Rowan: That's genius. The power of three on our side. The Source will be no match for us. Paige: My sisters are very powerful. They won't join us willingly. I don't think I can do it alone. Queen: Oh my darling. Look around you. That's what families are for. [Scene: A warehouse. Keats and a male vampire are there.] Male Vampire: What are you doing here, Keats? Keats: I have to get a message to the queen. Male Vampire: Well, why don't you take it yourself? Keats: Because someone might be following me. Tell her she needs to leave town, fast. The Source... (Cole flames in.) Cole: The Source is what? (The vampire turns into a bat and tries to fly away. Cole throws a fireball and the bat is incinerated.) Where's the queen, Keats? (Keats throws an electricity ball at Cole and Cole catches it. It burns out.) Ouch. Keats: You can vanquish me if you want, but I'm not telling you anything. Cole: Do you really think that vanquishing you is the worse I can do? (He waves his hand and Keats in engulfed in flames. Keats screams. Cole waves his hand and the flames disappear.) So let's try this again. Where's the vampire queen? [Cut to the manor. Rowan is wandering around downstairs. Paige stands at the top of the stairs.] Paige: They're not here. Rowan: They must be looking for you. Paige: Do-gooders. (She starts walking down the stairs.) I was hoping to get this over with. Rowan: Just relax. You're only innocent once. (She reaches the bottom of the stairs.) Paige: But I'm starving. I feel like I've been waiting for this moment my whole life. (Rowan smiles.) What are you smiling at? Rowan: I was just thinking of my first time. Paige: Tell me about it. Rowan: It was better than you can possibly imagine. Danger, excitement, the warm glow you feel afterwards. There's nothing like it. Paige: How many have you had? Rowan: I don't keep track. The faces all fade away, it's the taste you remember. Paige: And what was that? Just fast food? Rowan: Hardly. Just relax. Clear your mind. You are a hunter now. You have the ability to find your pray. Paige: I don't understand. Rowan: You will. Close your eyes. (She does so.) And focus. Paige: I know where they are. Rowan: You're a natural. Paige: Tell the queen to expect company. [Cut to the cemetery. A Grimlock is running through it. Piper and Phoebe are chasing it.] Phoebe: Hey, wait! Wait! We just wanna talk... (The grimlock shimmers out.) to you. Piper: What is going on? That is the forth demon tonight to run away from us. Phoebe: Maybe word got out that we killed the Source. Piper: The old Source. Phoebe: Oh, you had to mention that didn't you. Piper: I don't get it. We've been chasing demons all night, searching cemeteries all night and no freakin' vampires. (Phoebe holds her stomach.) This is ridiculous. We've gotta figure out something else before the sun comes up. Phoebe: Whoaaa. Piper: What's the matter? Are you okay? Phoebe: Yeah, just a little dizzy. Those tombstones aren't actually moving are they? Piper: Phoebe, this is not funny. Maybe this is more than just being run down. Maybe you're pregnant. (Phoebe giggles.) Phoebe: That is funny. Actually it's not so funny. I went to the drugstore, I got a test, I peed on the stick and I anxiously awaited th results in two minutes... Piper: And? Phoebe: And it was negative, thankfully. Piper: Yeah, well, mine was too. Phoebe: You thought you were pregnant? Piper: For about a minute and a half. Phoebe: Oh, honey, I am so sorry. Piper: It's okay, it's no big deal. Phoebe: Yes it is, to you it is. Is this what you wanted to talk to me about? I had no idea. Piper: It's okay, I understand. Phoebe: No, it's not okay. I left the manor, not the family. I still wanna be apart of your life. All of it. Piper: You sure? Phoebe: You come over here. (They hug. A bat flies towards them and it lands on a tombstone. It turns into Paige.) Paige: Aww, don't I get a hug? Phoebe: Paige. Piper: How did you find us? Paige: We share the same blood, Piper. (She jumps off the tombstone.) I sniffed you out. Piper: Paige, listen to me. (She walks towards Paige.) We can go back to the manor and we'll find something to change you back. Paige: Nah. (She pushes Piper away.) Phoebe: Whoa, hold it. (She holds a cross out in front of her.) Paige: Why you gotta be like that? (Paige kicks the cross out of Phoebe's hand. They start fighting. Paige kicks Phoebe in the stomach and knocks her to the ground. Paige leans over her.) Now it's time we really bond as sisters. (She goes to bite Phoebe but Leo orbs in and squirts holy water on Paige. She screams and runs away. Leo helps Phoebe up.) Piper: Paige, we are just trying to help you, damn it. (Paige stops.) Paige: Catch me if you can. (She turns into a bat and flies away.) Phoebe: Leo, Leo, come on, orb. (Leo orbs out with Phoebe and Piper.) [Cut to the vampire cave. Leo orbs in with Piper and Phoebe. It's dark.] Phoebe: Where are we? I can't see a thing. Piper: Here. (Piper turns on a flashlight and points it on the roof. Dozens of bats are hanging from it.) Leo: Well, which one's Paige? Piper: How should I know? (The queen, Paige and Rowan walk in. The torches on the wall light up.) Queen: Welcome to our family. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: The vampire cave. Continued from before.] Piper: Stay away from us or you'll get an eye full of holy water and a chest full of wood. Queen: You'd only be delaying the inevitable. Now why can't we do this without a fight? Phoebe: Paige, we're your sisters, you're not a vampire yet. Queen: We're offering immortal life. An eternity together as sisters. Now isn't that preferable to death. Piper: Are those our only two choices? Because I'd prefer the scenario where you die and we get to stay human. (Phoebe slaps her on the arm with the cross.) Queen: If you could've killed me, you would've done so already. We both know that. Leo: We've gotta get out of here. Phoebe: Not without Paige. Rowan: Words will never make them understand. Queen: No. But they will. (The bats on the roof fly towards them.) Piper: Incoming! (The bats attack them.) Phoebe: Leo, holy water! (Leo starts squirting the holy water on the bats. Phoebe's cross and Piper's flashlight gets thrown across the room.) Leo: Let's go! (Rowan goes over and throws Leo across the room.) Phoebe: Leo! (Paige goes over and pins Piper to the wall and tries to bite her. Phoebe kicks Rowan and he grabs her leg and she falls to the ground. He tries to bite her. Suddenly, all the bats start going up in flames.) Queen: No! My babies! (Leo pulls Paige off Piper. Phoebe gets away from Rowan and grabs the cross.) Come, before the Source kills us all. (She helps Paige up and they run out of the cave. Phoebe stabs Rowan with the cross and he is vanquished.) Leo: We've gotta get Paige. [Cut to another part of the cave. Paige and the Queen run in. Cole appears behind them and knocks Paige out of the way. She falls with her back to Cole. The Queen stops and turns around.] Queen: The Source. I should've bitten you. Cole: Yeah, well, bite this. (He throws a fireball at the queen and she is vanquished.) [Cut to Piper, Phoebe and Leo. The bats falls from the roof in little balls of flames.] Phoebe: What's going on? Piper: The Queen must be dead. Paige! [Cut to Cole and Paige. Paige is still lying on the floor. Cole walks behind her holding a fireball.] Piper: Paige! (Cole squashes the fireball.) Cole: In-laws. (He flames out. Piper, Phoebe and Leo walk in.) Phoebe: Paige. (She races over to her.) Thank god you're alive. (They help her up.) Leo: Are you alright? Paige: The Source. Phoebe: The Source? What do you mean? Paige: He was here. Piper: Just now? You saw him? Paige: Uh-uh. Leo: The queen must've posed as a threat to him. Phoebe: Well, that would explain why he wanted to kill her but why not us? Piper: I don't know. Let's just count our blessings and get the hell outta here. [Scene: Manor. Conservatory. The next morning. Paige is sitting at the table. Piper comes in.] Piper: You're up early. Vampire nightmares. Paige: Oddly enough, no. Just some other thoughts. Piper: Any you want to share? Paige: You wouldn't be interested. Piper: Try me. Paige: They're about Cole. Piper: I'm listening. Paige: Okay. Remember the guy that stood me up? Piper: Uh, how could I? Never met him. Paige: Yeah, you did actually. He was one of the vampires. When I first met him at the penthouse, he was there seeing Cole. Now I know what you're gonna say, maybe Cole didn't know he was a vampire and we should probably give him the benefit of the doubt, and you're right we should. Piper: So then why do I get the sinking feeling that you might be onto something? Paige: You do? Piper: Well, it's just a lot of little things. Like, him not wanting you to orb in, him not wanting us to... Paige: Save me? Piper: Go after vampires. I mean, I'm not saying that he's a demon, okay, because we both know that's not possible. Paige: We both know anything is possible. Piper: Okay, but what if we're wrong? Then we lose Cole and Phoebe forever. Paige: We're not wrong. Something is not right. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Phoebe and Cole's apartment. The phone rings. Cole answers it.] Cole: Hello? Paige: Hi, it's Paige. Cole: Paige, how are you feeling? Paige: Human again thank god. Cole: Yeah, thank god. Paige: Uh, is Phoebe there? Cole: She's still sleeping. Is it important? Paige: I-I'll just call her later. (He hangs up. Phoebe walks in.) Phoebe: Who was that? Cole: Oh, nobody. How are you feeling? Phoebe: Better. Cole: Good. Phoebe, I'm never gonna be okay with you chasing demons anymore, you can't change that. Phoebe: And you can't change the fact that they're gonna keep coming after me. And that I have sisters who need me. Cole: I understand. Phoebe: Do you? Because yesterday it seemed like you didn't. Cole: Well, I just don't want anything to happen to you. Ever. Is that so bad? Phoebe: No. Cole: I'll be at work. (He kisses her on the cheek and leaves. The phone rings and Phoebe answers it.) Phoebe: Hello? (listens) This is Phoebe Halliwell. (listens) Hi, doctor, did the test results come in? (listens) I'm... what? (She faints.) Doctor's Voice: I-I double checked the results myself. You're pregnant, Miss Halliwell. Congratulations. Miss Halliwell? Miss Halliwell? Hello?

Plan: A: the underworld; Q: What does Cole attempt to unite before his coronation as the Source? A: the evil underworld throne; Q: What do the exiled vampires want to claim as their own? A: the Charmed Ones; Q: Who help the exiled vampires turn Paige and her sisters into vampires? A: their plans; Q: What does Cole learn about the vampires? A: Paige's life; Q: What hangs in the balance when Cole orders all vampires to be killed? Summary: When Cole attempts to unite the underworld before his coronation as the Source, a group of exiled vampires take it upon themselves to kidnap Paige, in an attempt to turn her and as a result, her sisters, vampires so they can claim the evil underworld throne as their own with the help of the Charmed Ones. However, when Cole learns of their plans, he orders that all vampires be killed, and as a result, Paige's life hangs in the balance.

Russian to Roman alphabet: Gabriela Horber Dedicated to the great work of Eric Aasen, Guineapig and many, many more [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Chandler's hotel room in Tulsa. He's fast asleep when the telephone rings.] Chandler: (picking up the telephone, answering it with a frog in his throat) Hello? (he clears his throat, but he still has the same frog in his throat when he speaks again) Hello? Monica: (in her apartment, screaming) I LOVE MY NEW JOB! Chandler: Honey, you're screaming. Monica: YOU BET YOUR ASS I AM! I just had the best first day ever! The kitchen: twice as big as Allessandro's. Chandler: (yawning) Oh, that's great. Monica: Yeah, a-a-and clean. Not just health department clean... Monica clean. Chandler: (clearly not so interested) Awesome. Monica: Oh, and the people are so nice. There's this one guy, Geoffrey, he's the Maitre D., Chandler, you will love him. He is without a doubt, the funniest guy I have ever met. (Chandler, who was almost asleep again, sits up straight in bed in an instant and can't believe what he just heard.) OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are on the couch, holding hands, while Phoebe puts milk in her coffee.] Mike: This is nice. Phoebe: I know! (Phoebe picks up a little packet of sugar, shakes it, and then realises she can't open it with one hand, but doesn't want to let go of Mike's hand. She tries to tear open the packet with one hand.) Mike: You need both hands for that? Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.) Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar) Phoebe: I'm sorry... I'm sorry. It's obviously way too early for us to be... having that conversation. Mike: Is it? Phoebe: (in a flash she answers) Maybe not, is it? Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there... Phoebe: (impatient) I know Mike, why don't you keep digging? Mike: Oh, sorry. (He digs in again and finally finds what he's been looking for. A key.) Phoebe: Oh, it's a key. To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars. Mike: It's to my apartment. Phoebe: (really surprised) Oh wow, ooh! Ooh, big step for Phoebe and Mike. Mike: Yeah, look, and I don't want you to feel like you have to give me your key just because... Phoebe: Oh no, I want to. Mike: Oh, thank God. (he laughs nervously, and Phoebe gets her keychain from her bag.) Phoebe: Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. (Both Phoebe and Mike look really proud.) Mike: Is this cool, huh? Phoebe: It really is. Joey: (sitting at his table) Oh, I know it... It is amazing these little things open doors... huh! (mimes opening a door with his own keys, Phoebe looks at him in a "yeah, yeah, yeah" way.) [Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.] Rachel: So I don't go back to work for another four weeks, but we would like our nanny to start right away, so that Emma could get a chance to know her. Prospective nanny: (in a sweet, caring voice) I think that's really smart. The easier we can make the transition for her, the better. (Ross and Rachel seem pleased with the answer.) Rachel: That's great, great. So do you have any questions for us? Prospective nanny: Not really. Rachel: Allright. Well thank you so much for coming... (they're standing up and make their way to the door) Ross: Thank you. Rachel: Really nice to meet you... and we'll call you. Prospective nanny: Oh, you know, wait. I do have one question. (she starts playing with her hair) Do you guys do random drug testing? Ross: Boy, we uhm... hadn't really thought of that. Prospective nanny: That's cool. But... but if you do, I'm gonna need three days notice. Rachel: Okidoki! (and she slams the door in the nanny's face while Ross crumples up the application form) Wow! We're never gonna find a nanny. Ross: Oh, come on Rach, we will. I promise. We have more interviews (They sit down and Rachel sighs) And worse comes to worse, we can always reconsider the uhm... the first one we met with. Rachel: (indignant) What, the blonde with no bra? Ross: She was blonde? (he looks surprised for a while, but then gets a "gotcha" expression on his face... There's knocking at the door.) Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years. Rachel: Okay... (Ross opens the door.) Sandy: (a guy) Hi... I'm Sandy. Ross: And she's a little mannish... [Scene: Phoebe's apartment. There's a knock on the door, and Phoebe opens it.] Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God! David! David: Hi! I-i-is this a bad time? Phoebe: (excited) No! It's a great time, come in...! WOW, hi... Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Are you back from Minsk? David: Well, just for a couple of days, uhm... I'm here to explain to the people who gave us our grant, why it's a positive thing that we spent all their money and uhm... accomplished uhm... nothing. Phoebe: Who cares, it got you here. David: Well, it got me to New York anyway, and then I got on a cab at the airport, and the guy said where to? and I just... gave him your address I... I... I didn't even think about it. Phoebe: Wow. Where is your luggage? (David thinks for a while) David: Damn it! Phoebe: A-Allright, well... I'll call the cab company. David: Wa... wa... wait! We can... call them later. Can you just... just stand there f-f-for a moment? Boy! There's an old Russian expression, uhm... it goes: Schto ya ztez vigul... ui! Roughly translated that means uhm... This thing that I'm looking at: wow! Phoebe: Thank you! God, no! You should see me when... Oh actually, no, I look pretty good. David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said) Phoebe: No... [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica sits on the couch and Phoebe is pacing up and down the room.] Phoebe: I'm... I'm just... I'm the worst person ever. How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike? Monica: Maybe he didn't give you a chance. Phoebe: He said: Are you seeing someone? And I said no... Monica: Oh, well... That had been your window. Phoebe: Yeah! I mean, I don't know. I was just , I was looking, I was looking in his eyes and I was just thinking: Oh my God! It's David. David's here. He's just, he's so irresistible. Monica: Really? The scientist guy? Phoebe: Really? Chandler? Monica: Continue... Phoebe: Oh.Okay, then it gets worse, 'cause then I told him that I would see him tomorrow night. Monica: Phoebe! Phoebe: I know! (points at herself) Evil! And... and... and... I like Mike so much, you know. It's just going really well. Oh my God! Monica: Wow, isn't it ironic that David would show up on the same day that you and Mike exchange keys? Phoebe: (sarcastically) Uhuh... Yeah...!, you know. And given my life long search for irony, you can imagine how happy I am. Monica: What are you gonna do? Phoebe: I mean I guess, I just have to... tell David that nothing can happen between us. Unless I don't... You know, complicated moral situation, no right, no wrong... Monica: You have to tell David! Phoebe: Okay, I knew I should have had this conversation with Joey. [Scene: The hallway between the two apartments. Chandler comes home.] Chandler: (angry) Funniest guy she's ever met! (to the door) I'm funny, right...? What do you know, you're a door... You just like knock-knock jokes... (laughs about himself, but then gets determined again) Save it for inside! (he enters) Monica: Heeeeeey! Chandler: Hey! Phoebe: Hey! Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch. Monica: (Doesn't believe what she's hearing) Was your cabin pressurised? Chandler: (laughs, but then moves to Phoebe) And don't get me started on the way that people from Tulsa talk. Phoebe: Okay. (and she walks away) Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right? Monica: No, it just remind me of something this guy did today at work. I told you about that funny guy, Geoffrey, right? Chandler: Yeah, he came up... Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh) Chandler: (to Phoebe) Were you there? Phoebe: No, but it sounds like it was fricken funny... [Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. They're interviewing Sandy.] Sandy: I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... (Ross has got that bored/angry/skeptic look and Rachel is very emotional) Rachel: Sandy, that's exactly what it is... Ross: Are you gay? (Rachel turns to Ross in an embarrassed way) Rachel: Ross! Sandy: It's okay. I get that a lot doing what I do. But I am straight. I-I'm engaged actually. Rachel: Oh! Sandy: Her name is Deliah. Rachel: Oh, that's pretty. Ross: (skeptic) So you're just like a... guy who's a nanny? Sandy: I realise how it's... a bit unorthodox for some people, but I really believe, the most satisfying thing you can do with your life, is take care of a child. Ross: (on a yeah, right tone) Okay. Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him) Ross: Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap. (In the other room Emma starts to cry.) Rachel: Oh God, she mu... she must need her diaper changed. Sandy: Oh, oh, I can do it for her, if you want... Rachel: Oh, that would be great! (Sandy leaves for Emma's room) I love him, I love him, I love him... Ross: Oh, come on, Rach, he's a guy! Rachel: So wh..? He's smart, he's qualified. Give me one good reason we shouldn't try him out. Ross: Because, it's weird! Rachel: Why? Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be... Rachel: (she's got that "yeah, try to say it" look on her face) Yes? Ross: King? Sandy: I er... I hope you don't mind. I used some of my home-made lotion on Emma. It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up. Plus... It keeps the hands young... (it makes Rachel smile) Rachel: (whispering and begging) Please? (Ross makes a "whatever" gesture) YES! Sandy you're hired. Sandy: That's great! (He gets emotional again and waves his hand in front of his face in a feminine way, like trying to dry his tears) I'm sorry. It's just... such an emotional thing when you're welcomed into a new family... Rachel: Oooh... ***I really can't hear what she says*** come here. Ross: You gotta be at least bi... [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is reading a 'Busty Ladies' magazine when Chandler enters.] Chandler: Hey! (Joey doesn't look up, but gestures 'wait a minute' with his finger while he finishes reading the article. Chandler waits for Joey to finish.) I need you to set me up for a joke. Later, when Monica is around, I need you to ask me about fire trucks. Joey: Ooh. I-I don't know Chan. I'm not so good with remembering lines. Chandler: (Can't believe what he hears) Well, thank God your livelihood doesn't depend on it. Joey: I know, right? (Chandler has really big eyes, and nods) Wh... Wh... Why are we doing this? Chandler: Monica says that her Maitre D. is the funniest guy she's ever met. Joey: Seriously? She actually said that? Chandler: Yes! Am I crazy to be this upset? Joey: Nooooo! Being funny is your thing! Chandler: Yeah! Joey: Without that, you just got "lame with women". Chandler: Ye.... (stops because he realises what Joey just said, and stares at him. At this moment Monica enters) Monica: Hi! There you are. Joey: (sees Monica) Fire trucks! (Chandlers eyes double in size and he turns to Monica who doesn't understand what's happening. Then he turns back to Joey, who says "you're welcome" without a sound) [Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Phoebe just let David in who brought a bottle of wine.] David: Wow, you look even... more beautiful than you did yesterday. Phoebe: Oof... David: In fact, ehm... I going to kiss you now. (David holds Phoebe and wants to kiss her.) Phoebe: Oh, wait, wait! David: Yeah, I-I don't, I can't get away with stuff like that. I-I-It sounded sexy in my head, so I... Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike. David: Oh... oh... Phoebe: Yeah, I should have told you. David: No... well, yeah. Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. David: Well, i-it's okay. I-I-I understand... Well, s... well, are you happy with this guy? Phoebe: I am happy. David: Damn it! I-I'm sorry. I-I don't mean that. I-I want you to be happy... But only with me. No, uhm... that's not fair. Uh, who cares, leave him!. Oh, I don't mean that. Yes I do... I'm sorry Uhm, I... I think I should probably uhm... go... Phoebe: Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. David: Well... just so you know... hearing it wasn't exactly a Vladnik carnival either... Can we at least hug goodbye? Phoebe: Of course, yeah.(they hug and Phoebe sighs... a little after that also David sighs and makes his way to the door) You know, a kiss on the cheek wouldn't be totally inappropriate... David: No... no... Phoebe: I mean... (David kisses Phoebe on the cheek, makes his way to the door and turns around again) David: In Minsk... Phoebe: Yeah? David: ...it's uhm... i-it's two on each cheek and uhm... and one on the lips. Phoebe: Well, if that's what they do in Minsk... (They kiss 2 on each cheek... and then they pause... David turns to the door) In New York... it's... (and then David grabs her by her neck and kisses her full on the lips... They kiss passionately and cannot seem to stop.) [Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Sandy sit on the couch. Sandy holds Emma. Ross enters the apartment. Sandy and Rachel wipe their tears away with handkerchiefs] Rachel: (in a tearful voice) Oh... Oh boy... (she turns around and sees Ross) Hi... Ross: (very worried) Is everything allright? Rachel: Oh yeah, it's fine, it's fine. Sandy was just... was just telling me about how he proposed to his fiancée and it was just sooo beautiful. Sandy: Well, her favourite flower is the camellia. From the poem... Rachel: I can't... I can't hear it again. Sandy: You know, I can't tell it again... (wipes his tears again) Ross: And I'm fine never having heard it... (Rachel looks at Ross in a "why do you say that" manner) Rach, can I... can I see you for a sec? Rachel: Yeah! (to Sandy) Excuse me... (She walks to the kitchen with Ross and sighs) Ross: Do you realise that man has cried in our apartment three times...? Huh? I haven't cried that many times since I moved in. Rachel: Look, Ross, he's just... Sandy is just sensitive, that's all. Ross: (picks up a cookie) Okay, okay, see... that... that is the problem. He is too sensitive. (takes a bite from the cookie) Rachel: What...? Too sensitive to take care of our baby? Ross: (speaking with his mouth full) Yeah, I mean, all things that guy... (looks at the cookie) These are amazing! Rachel: Sandy made Madeleines. Ross: This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks. (takes a careful bite from the cookie) Rachel: Well, I... you know, I-I-I don't know what to say... I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men. You know, 'cause I gotta tell you Ross, it not like you just came in from branding cattle. Ross: Hey... there's sensitive... and there is too sensitive. Rachel: Okay, what? What is too sensitive? (There's music coming from the living room. Ross opens the door to the living room and he and Rachel see Sandy play a song for Emma on his recorder. Rachel is moved by this, but Ross only sees his point proven again, and walks back into the kitchen, angrily. The door he was holding, swings back and hits Rachel.) [Scene: Phoebe's apartment. She and David are still kissing each other in the living room.] Phoebe: Hmmm... No, no... No, I can't do this. It's bad. David: But... I-I-It's nice... A-a-and... nice is good. A-a-and good is not bad, ergo, w-w-we should keep kissing. Phoebe: No, no. No. David: But... ergo... Phoebe: Look David, if... if you had never left, then... yeah, we'd probably still be together right now, but... you did leave, and I-I'm with Mike and I really care about him... David: Uhm... uhm... Goodbye... Uh... Schto ya ztez vigul... ui... (David holds his hands gently on the back of Phoebe's neck. There's a sound of a a bunch of keys rattling, and the door opens... It's Mike) Mike: Well... hey, the key works...! (he looks as if he doesn't want to believe what's happening) Phoebe: (points to David) And you thanks for the face massage. Thank you. [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica is in the kitchen and Ross enters.] Ross: Did Rachel tell you we hired a male nanny? Monica: Yeah! I think that's great! Ross: Oh really? Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes Madeleines? Monica: Oh... How are they? Ross: (looks like in heaven) Lighter than air... (changes back to serious) But that's not the point. (Joey now also enters) Joey: Hey! Ross: Hey...! Rachel and I hired a male nanny. Joey: (looks surprised) Really...? Guys do that...? That's... weird... Ross: Thank you! Joey: That's like a woman wanting to be a... Ross: ...a what? A what? What's the end of that sentence? Monica: Yes... What is the end of that sentence? Joey: Uhm... A pen1s model. (Monica can't believe what's she's hearing and Ross pats Joey on the back.) Anyway, hey... Did you tell Chandler that some guy from work is the funniest guy you've ever met? Monica: Yeah, so? Ross: Wow! Joey: Really? Do you not know Chandler? Monica: Is that why he's acting so weird...? He's jealous...? Oh my God, that is crazy. It's not like I'm attracted to Geoffrey... Joey: So what? Being funny is Chandler's thing... You know, like Ross's thing is... (he can't come up with anything) Ross: Science...? Academia...? Being a good father...? Joey: ...No... (he just can't seem to grasp it) Monica: I can't believe he's that upset about this... Joey: Monica, you have to do some damage control here, okay. 'Cause he's feeling like... (the door opens and Chandler walks in with a pizza) Chandler: Hey! Joey: Heeeyy! Hey! Chandler: What are you guys talking about? Ross: Uhm... Rachel and I hired a male nanny. (Joey makes a gesture and sound like "Can you believe that?") Chandler: You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.) Chandler: You know, I don't mind a... male nanny, but I do draw the line at a male wetnurse. (again they laugh, even more fake than before) Monica: Ohhh, ooohhh... you are on a roll, mister! Chandler: If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would have brought more pizza. (they all burst out in a thundering laugh) Monica: Okay, okay... Chandler you... you stop it! (Monica wipes away tears) Chandler: What is so funny about that? (they realise it wasn't a joke) Monica: Well, I don't know... I-It's... just the way you say it... I mean, you're funny... You have that funny thing. You're a funny guy! (Chandler turns to Joey) Chandler: Did you tell her what we talked about? (Joey starts laughing hysterically, but then gets serious again...) Joey: Yeah.... Chandler: So those were pity laughs? PITY LAUGHS? (Joey and Ross walk away from the kitchen) Monica: Honey, listen... You have nothing to worry about with Geoffrey. Chandler: Oh yeah? Is he funnier than me? Monica: Well, you're... you're different funny... I mean, you're... you're more sarcastic a-a-and... well, he does... bits... and impressions... and... and limericks... Chandler: I do limericks... uhm... There once was a man named Chandler, whose wife made him die inside. Monica: Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me. Ross: Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross "What are you doing?) Joey: Not knowing when to shut up... Ross: Yep! That's my thing... [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Phoebe's apartment. David is still there. Mike closes the door.] Mike: So... how many guys have your key? Phoebe: No, no, no, no, no... It's not... it's not... i'ts not as bad as it looks... really. I was just saying goodbye to an old friend. Mike: Your lipstick's on his mouth. David: Oh, uh... we just uh... happen to wear the same shade. Phoebe: No, uhm... David and I did use to go out... but years ago, and he lives in Minsk. He's only... he's only in town for a couple of days. Mike: Did you uhm... Phoebe: No, no... Mike: ...kiss him? Phoebe: Oh, well, yeah... David: Yes, but uhm... You should know... she really likes you. I-In fact I-I-I don't think you realise j-just how lucky you are fella. (he points at Mike) Mike: Don't point your finger at me. David: Why? Wh-What are you going to do about it? Mike: Well... I'll... just show you what I'm gonna do about it... (he hits David's finger with his finger and they start to finger-fight using their fingers as swords saying all kinds of macho crap) Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it, before someone gets really hurt! (they stop and Phoebe gets David's jacket and gives it to him) Here David, you should just go. David: Allright... But... if I ever do come back from Minsk... (points at Mike) well, you just better watch out. Mike: Well, if I ever goto Minsk, you'd better watch out. David: Oh, you're going to Minsk? Mike: Well, I might. David: Really? Well, if you do, come in the spring. It's just lovely there. Phoebe: Okay, well... guys? David: Right... Goodbye Phoebe. (Makes a move to kiss her.) Mike: Hey, what are you kidding me? David: Right-o, right-o... (to Mike) Take good care of her. (and he leaves) Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. If you... If you want your key back, I totally understand. Mike: It's never gonna happen again right? Phoebe: Right! Never! Never! I swear! (They kiss... The door opens and David comes in again.) David: I-I... Oh I...I just wanna say uhm... if you do ever come to Minsk, that's my number (gives Mike a business card) We'll uhm... we'll party up Vladnik style. (He leaves again) [Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.] Joey: Yeah! Allright! Hey, hey Ross. Check it out! Sandy taught me Hot-cross Buns. Ross: Really? Sounded like Three Blind Mice. Joey: Noooo... Three Blind Mice goes like this... (he puts his fingers in position on the recorder) Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock) Sandy: Who's up for puppets? Joey: Me! I'm up for puppets! Sandy: Well, please welcome... The Snufflebumps... Who wants to be mr. Wigglemunch and who's gonna be the Grumpus? Ross: Okay, okay... How exactly is a two month old supposed to appreciate puppets? Sandy: Actually studies have shown that the movement and colours help their cerebral development... The whimsical characters are just for us. (He winks to Joey and Rachel. Ross's face says he disapproves. Joey sees that and kind of angrily says...) Joey: I wanna be mr. Wigglemunch. (and makes a "there" nod to Ross) Ross: (shakes his head) Oh my God! Sandy: Well, I guess we know who's gonna be the Grumpus... (Ross goes to the kitchen) [Scene: Ross and Rachel's kitchen. Ross got a beer from the refrigerator and opens the bottle. Rachel now also enters the kitchen.] Rachel: That was kind of rude! Ross: Oh, I'm sorry. Please apologise to Sandy and the Snufflebumps for me. Rachel: You know, he was just doing his job... Ross: Well, you know what... I-I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there... But I just... I can't... I can't go through with this. Rachel: Oh, come on Ross... Ross: No! Hey, you know what? I'm sorry. I would never force you... to hire someone you were this uncomfortable with... Rachel: (sighs) Oh... That's true. Ross: Thank you! Rachel: Well, you're the one who wants to fire him, so you're gonna have to do it. (Ross walks to the living room determined to fire Sandy) [Scene: Living room. Joey and Sandy are talking with the Snufflebumps.] Sandy: (In a puppet voice) So you see Wigglemunch, that's why it's important to shaaaaaaare... Joey: (kind of emotional) I am learning so much from you. [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Joey are sitting at the dinner table. Chandler comes from the bedroom with his suitcase.] Chandler: Well, I'm off to Tulsa, so if your Maitre D. friend has any funny Oklahoma jokes, tell him to e-mail me at http://www.hahanotsomuch.com/. Monica: Honey, you can relax. Last night at work, Geoffrey told this really sexist joke. After that, not so funny anymore. Chandler: Really...? See... that's the thing: you gotta keep it smart, people! Monica: Okay, don't miss that flight. You know I love you. Chandler: I love you too. (Monica and Chandler kiss. He turns to Joey.) And... I like you as a friend. (They hug and pat each other on the back.) Joey: Allright. See you later! Chandler: See ya! (he leaves the apartment) Joey: (to Monica) Did that guy really make that joke? Monica: Naaaa... He still kills me. Last night he had me laughing so hard, I swear... a little pee came out. [Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Sandy is knitting baby clothes. Ross and Rachel walk into the living room.] Ross: Here goes... Rachel: I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo. (Ross walks to the couch where Sandy sits) Ross: Sandy... Hi, we uhm... we kinda need to talk. I'm afraid it's not working out. Sandy: (surprised) Oh... Ross: Yeah, uhm... I mean, Rachel and I, think you are great... with Emma... uhm... We just feel... Rachel: (from behind the bedroom door) YOU! You feel! Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation... Sandy: Oh, no, no, no... That's okay. I got a lot of offers from other families. I just picked you guys because... I liked you the best. Rachel: (from bedroom) Oh, damn you Geller! Ross: Anyway, uhm...Well, I'm glad there's no hard feelings. Sandy: No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home... Although if you don't mind telling me, what was your problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future. Ross: No, you know, it's uhm... nothing you did, it's... it's uhm... my issue. Sandy: What is it...? (Ross hesitates) Please...? (he tilts his head) Ross: You know, I'm just not uhm... that comfortable with a guy who's as sensitive as you. Sandy: That's fair... Although, can I ask... why do you think that is? Ross: Why... I... I don't know. (Sandy tilts his head again) Uhm... errrr... maybe... maybe because of my father? Sandy: hmmm... (and shakes his head) Ross: I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now. Rachel: (from the bedroom) Huh ha ha! Ross: I play squash...! Anyway, uhm... I uhm... I always get the feeling he thought I was too sensitive. Sandy: That must have been hard. Ross: It was hard... I remember... I was in my bedroom... playing with my dinosaurs... playing and learning... and my father walks in and says... he says... "What are you doing with those things? What's wrong with you, why aren't you... why aren't you outside playing like a... like a real boy? Sandy: But you are a real boy! Ross: I know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top? Sandy: It's allright! Crying is good. It lets the boo-hoos out. Ross: Here come some more... [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey and Sandy are sitting at the kitchen counter. Joey is holding mr. Wigglemunch, and Sandy holds the Grumpus.] Sandy/Grumpus: And what's the one kind of boat that can never, ever sink? Joey/Wigglemunch: What kind? Sandy/Grumpus: A friend-ship... Joey: Wow! You blow my mind... Sandy: Oh, I gotta go. Joey: Aaahh... How much do I owe you? Sandy: Twenty bucks. Joey: It's like the cheapest college ever.

Plan: A: a male nanny; Q: What did Ross and Rachel hire? A: Freddie Prinze Jr.; Q: Who is the nanny that Ross and Rachel hire? A: Chandler freaks; Q: What happens when Monica tells Chandler that she has met someone else? A: Monica; Q: Who tells Chandler that she has met a funny man? A: Hank Azaria; Q: Who played Phoebe's ex-lover David? A: Mike; Q: Who does David meet when he resurfaces? Summary: Ross and Rachel hire a male nanny (Freddie Prinze Jr.). Chandler freaks when Monica tells him that she has met somebody else who is the funniest man she has ever met. Meanwhile, Phoebe's scientist ex David (Hank Azaria) resurfaces, and this time, he meets Mike.

PLANET OF THE SPIDERS BY: ROBERT SLOMAN PART FIVE 5:35pm - 6:00pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: INT. METEBELIS THREE. SPIDER'S BASE. PASSAGE (The SECOND GUARD CAPTAIN runs after the DOCTOR.) SECOND GUARD CAPTAIN: Stop! (He catches up with the DOCTOR and grabs him by the shoulder. The DOCTOR turns, grab his arm and whips him over onto the ground. He turns to run but two other guards with jewelled staves pointed at him walk up.) DOCTOR: Oh dear, this is getting monotonous. SECOND GUARD CAPTAIN: Your execution hasn't been cancelled - just postponed. (The SECOND GUARD CAPTAIN gets up from the floor.) SECOND GUARD CAPTAIN: Bring him along. (He strides away and the two guards escort the DOCTOR after him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 2: INT. METEBELIS THREE. SPIDER'S BASE. CELL (SARAH has given up her attempts at freedom and lies calmly in her cocoon.) SARAH: Sabor, how long do you think we've got? SABOR: Who knows? A week, a...a day, an hour. (Suddenly the DOCTOR walks into the cell. SARAH looks at him in astonishment and delight.) SARAH: Doctor! You're alive! I knew you'd come! (The DOCTOR holds up a hand for silence and then gestures behind him. The two guards walk into the cell and SARAH realises that he is as much a prisoner as her. Her head falls back.) SARAH: Oh...Doctor! [SCENE_BREAK] 3: INT. METEBELIS THREE. COUNCIL CHAMBER (LUPTON and his SPIDER are before the council. LUPTON is within a dock of two blue-barred struts whilst his SPIDER twitches on a stand behind him.) QUEEN SPIDER: Be silent! You are in no position to protest! Your conspiracy has been discovered. You and your confederate will die! LUPTON: I d...I don't understand. LUPTON'S SPIDER: They know that we did not bring the crystal to Metebelis. I'm sorry, Lupton. LUPTON: (To the QUEEN.) But...how did you find out? QUEEN SPIDER: (Triumphantly.) In the same way that we first traced it - by its vibrations through space and time. The crystal is still on Earth. Do not attempt to deny it! LUPTON: (Hastily.) Why should I deny it? I know where the crystal is hidden. I told you, but I didn't say it was hidden on Metebelis. (The members of the council mutter in agreement. LUPTON regains his confidence.) LUPTON: The situation is unchanged. If you wish to invade Earth, you need my help. QUEEN SPIDER: (Warning.) Be careful, two-leg. You may go too far. LUPTON'S SPIDER: But it's true. Once more, oh Queen, your arrogance has endangered the master plan of the Great One. (The council cries out...) SPIDERS: All praise to the Great One! LUPTON'S SPIDER: (Suggestively.) It is not the first mistake the Queen has made. QUEEN SPIDER: (Outraged.) Mistake?! FIRST SPIDER: Maybe the most noble Queen is growing old? SECOND SPIDER: I think the time has come for a coronation. (There are more mutters of assent from the council. The QUEEN SPIDER'S legs twitch uncomfortably.) QUEEN SPIDER: Wait! Wait, my sisters, do not be so hasty. I merely wanted to be sure. LUPTON'S SPIDER: Then what of the attack on Earth? QUEEN SPIDER: I shall visit the cave of the crystal and ask the approval of the Great One. (There are some gasps from the SPIDER council.) QUEEN SPIDER: Do you hear me? I shall this very day speak with the Great One herself. (The would-be rebellious council almost reluctantly chant their glorification...) SPIDERS: All praise to the Great One... (While LUPTON licks his lips nervously.) SPIDERS: All praise to the Great One... [SCENE_BREAK] 4: INT. METEBELIS THREE. SPIDER'S BASE. CELL (The DOCTOR has been wrapped into one of the cocoons and placed on the shelf above SARAH. Unlike her and SABOR, he remains cheerful.) DOCTOR: Now I know what a fly feels like. What an absolutely fascinating experience! SARAH: (Sarcastically.) Ha ha! Great... DOCTOR: Yeah...judging by the habits of our captor's Earth cousins, I would say we're probably in the larder. SARAH: Right first time. DOCTOR: I think they'll find I'm rather a tough old bird. SARAH: (Smiles.) An old boiler, in fact. DOCTOR: (Smiles.) Yes! Yes, make a good item on the next agenda of the spider council meeting. (SABOR watches this exchange with an incredulous look on his face.) DOCTOR: Yeah - whether to stew a Time Lord or roast him in a slow oven. SARAH: That'll give them something to chew over. DOCTOR: Yes, something they can really get their teeth into, what? (SARAH giggles, then a thought strikes her...) SARAH: Hey, Doctor, you know I'm still not clear what's going on. I mean, if the spiders wanted that crystal so badly, well why didn't they just take it before you did? DOCTOR: Well they didn't arrive until much later. We're in the future remember, Sarah. SARAH: Oh, of course. Ha! DOCTOR: Now listen to me - both of you, listen. (From his prone position, the DOCTOR tries to look down at SARAH and SABOR.) DOCTOR: Arak is, er, trying to get together some of the men from the other villages. They're gonna try a rescue. SABOR: (Alarmed.) But he mustn't! If they do, they're walking into certain death! DOCTOR: Oh no. No, they know how to protect themselves now. SARAH: Well how? DOCTOR: Well, you see wha... (The DOCTOR falls silent as he hears footsteps approaching. The SECOND GUARD CAPTAIN walks in with one of his guards. He points to SARAH.) GUARD CAPTAIN: The girl. (The guard walks towards her, raising high a knife he carries in his right hand. SARAH cries out...) SARAH: No! (The guard brings the knife down...and starts to cut the fibres of the cocoon away. Gasping as her limbs become unrestricted, SARAH tries to get to sit up, her arm held by the guard.) DOCTOR: Where are you taking her? GUARD CAPTAIN: Never you mind. You'll find out soon enough. On your feet, girl! (The guard yanks her upwards, but SARAH'S legs give way beneath her.) SARAH: Ooh! Ah! GUARD CAPTAIN: What's the matter with you? SARAH: I've...pins and needles. (She rubs her legs.) GUARD CAPTAIN: Oh, enough! Come on - bring her. (The guard starts to drag her out of the chamber.) DOCTOR: (Urgently.) Sarah, try and stall them as long as you can. (SARAH shouts as she is pulled away.) SARAH: You bet, Doctor! I'll do my best to give them all indigestion! [SCENE_BREAK] 5: EXT. METEBELIS THREE. VILLAGE (The villagers are gathering for the attack. REGA and ARAK come down from the steps of their hut.) REGA: I must come with you. ARAK: No, Rega. This is man's work. (TUAR calls over from where he is with the village men next to the TARDIS.) TUAR: Why do we wait? We're ready. ARAK: Very well then. (But the elderly NESKA comes running out after them.) NESKA: Wait, Arak, wait. (She runs up to ARAK and looks up at him.) NESKA: My husband has been taken from me. (She crosses to TUAR and looks at him pleadingly.) NESKA: Must I lose my sons as well? I've carried you to the fields at my breast, I've dried your eyes, I've laughed with you through the short years of your boyhood - now you're a man. Must you leave me alone...to mourn? TUAR: But mother... (ARAK joins them and interrupts.) ARAK: We must go, mother. We're not only fighting for Sabor and the two strangers, we're fighting for ourselves - for the freedom of our people. Rega? (He gently pushes his mother towards his sister as ARAK turns to the assembled men.) ARAK: You have nothing to fear. The Doctor has given us protection. Put on the headbands I gave you. (They all tie a strip of material around their heads. Into the centre of these is sewn one of the rocks that the DOCTOR isolated from the others.) ARAK: Are we ready then? VILLAGERS: Yes! VILLAGE MAN: We're ready! ARAK: Death to the eight-legs! VILLAGERS: Death to the eight-legs! VILLAGE MAN: Death! Death! (As NESKA and REGA watch with concern etched on their faces, the men set off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6: INT. METEBELIS THREE. SPIDER'S BASE. CELL (Within his cocoon, the DOCTOR is wriggling his shoulders as he attempts to pry himself free of its bounds.) SABOR: You're wasting your time. It's impossible to get out of these things. DOCTOR: Look, much as I admire your stoic acceptance of the inevitable, I would appreciate it if you'd shut up for a moment. (Holding his breath, he starts to manoeuvre again.) DOCTOR: What I'm trying to do requires the utmost concentration. SABOR: What are you trying to do? DOCTOR: Compress the muscles. It's an old... (SABOR watches in astonishment as the DOCTOR gets his arms free of the fibres and continues to wriggle the rest of his body out, speaking all the time as he does so.) DOCTOR: A little trick I learned from an old friend of mine, er, Harry, er, what was his name? Erm, er, Hopkins! No, no, that's not right...er, er, Hetherington! No, that's not right either. (By now he has freed all of his upper body and sits up as he tries to move backwards to get his legs free.) DOCTOR: Er...er, it wasn't an English name, erm, er, Hackenschmidt. No, I know it began with an "H". (The DOCTOR'S legs are now almost totally released.) DOCTOR: Houdini! Yes, that was it - Harry Houdini. (He pulls his lower legs out, brushes the fibres off his immaculate trousers and climbs down from the shelf. He makes for the door but stops for a quick word with SABOR.) DOCTOR: Oh, don't worry, old chap. As soon as I've rescued Sarah, I'll find a knife and come back for you. (He runs off. SABOR is speechless with astonishment.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7: INT. METEBELIS THREE. SPIDER'S BASE. QUEEN SPIDER'S CHAMBER (The guard pushes SARAH into another small chamber and roughly to the floor. There is a raised stand for the QUEEN SPIDER and another long platform for other SPIDERS. It resembles a smaller version of the council chamber.) QUEEN SPIDER: (To the guard.) Leave us. (The guard hesitates, obviously reluctant.) QUEEN SPIDER: (Angrily.) Leave us, I say! (The guard turns and leaves. The QUEEN SPIDER speaks imperiously to SARAH.) QUEEN SPIDER: Rise, child. You have no reason to fear me. I am your friend. (SARAH gets to her feet.) SARAH: Oh, you've a funny way of treating your friends then! QUEEN SPIDER: You are impertinent! I am going to help you. SARAH: (Suspiciously.) Why should you want to help me? QUEEN SPIDER: I do not agree with the plans of the council. The invasion of your planet is a foolhardy venture. It could destroy us! I have lied to the council. I have said I will visit the Great One, but... SARAH: The Great One? QUEEN SPIDER: Never mind. I lied to the council but I had to lie. I desire only peace with you and all two-legs. (SARAH'S fear starts to disappear...) SARAH: Th...then why have you treated them as slaves? QUEEN SPIDER: It...it was necessary... (Exasperated.) Stop fighting me, child! I intend to help you and your Doctor friend to escape - back to Earth. SARAH: (Pleased.) Well, that's more...like it. (Suspiciously.) But why? QUEEN SPIDER: Do you know of the blue crystal? SARAH: Yes - your pal Lupton's got it. QUEEN SPIDER: He has not. (Angrily.) He left it on Earth! SARAH: (Smiles.) So that's it. You want me and the Doctor to get it back for you. QUEEN SPIDER: If you do not, I see only disaster ahead for all of us. SARAH: And what about Sabor - the old man? QUEEN SPIDER: I shall release him. SARAH: And the other... (She hesitates to use the forbidden word "spider".) SARAH: ...the other two-legs on Metebelis? QUEEN SPIDER: I shall listen to their grievance. SARAH: And do something about it, like setting them free? QUEEN SPIDER: Very well. SARAH: Okay, it's a deal. Now what do I have to do? [SCENE_BREAK] 8: INT. METEBELIS THREE. SPIDER'S BASE. PASSAGE (The DOCTOR walks down one of the passageways. He suddenly ducks into a side passage and presses himself against a wall. A moment later, two stave-carrying guards walk past. The DOCTOR watches them go and then carries on.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9: INT. LAMASERY. BARNES' ROOM (MIKE has recovered from his attack but is still tied and gagged. He has managed to sit up on the bed and is making a futile attempt to free his hands from behind his back. The door opens and BARNES walks in. MIKE begins a furious and muffled tirade from behind the gag. BARNES steps over and takes the gag off. MIKE coughs as his mouth is freed but his hands are left tied.) BARNES: Well? MIKE YATES: What are you gonna do? BARNES: Do? MIKE YATES: About Lupton? I told you - I overheard you talking. BARNES: (Sighs.) There's nothing we can do. Just got to wait for him and keep you here until he comes back. MIKE YATES: But as you said yourselves, he may not be able to. BARNES: I know. As I said, there's nothing we can do. MIKE YATES: (Urgently.) Of course there is - re-establish the link, the contact. BARNES: You mean with the mandala, the ceremony? MIKE YATES: He's probably waiting for you to do just that. BARNES: There's only four of us. You have to have five. MIKE YATES: I'll help. BARNES: You? Why should you help? MIKE YATES: Because of Sarah Jane Smith of course. I want her back just as much as you want Lupton. BARNES: (Thinks.) Yes...yes, of course. But how do I know it's not just some sort of trick? MIKE YATES: (Exasperated.) Oh, for pete's sake! Of course it isn't! (He stands and proffers his tied hands to BARNES.) MIKE YATES: Come on, untie me. (BARNES starts to do as instructed.) [SCENE_BREAK] 10: INT. METEBELIS THREE. COUNCIL CHAMBER (In the absence of the QUEEN, LUPTON'S SPIDER has taken her place on the podium in the council chamber. The council watches and listens as LUPTON leans over her, plotting quietly.) LUPTON: My plan is this: we shall return to Earth and fetch the crystal from its hiding place, then the way will be open for the invasion of Earth. FIRST SPIDER: And what if the Queen returns from the Great One? SPIDERS: All praise to the Great One! FIRST SPIDER: I say what if she returns with a different plan? LUPTON'S SPIDER: The Queen is not to be trusted. FIRST SPIDER: Neither are you - nor the two-leg, Lupton. LUPTON'S SPIDER: No two-leg can be trusted. (LUPTON is angered by this betrayal.) LUPTON: Now, wait a minute! LUPTON'S SPIDER: Silence! My loyalty is to the eight-legs. My loyalty is to this council. You will listen and obey. LUPTON: But it was agreed... LUPTON'S SPIDER: (Interrupts.) You have not been made a slave. Let that be your reward. LUPTON: (Angrily.) You...will put my plan into action! I am the one you will obey! I have the power... (The council suddenly start to mentally attack LUPTON. The reverberating sound tears into his mind as he clamps his hands to his head and falls to the ground, writhing in agony.) LUPTON'S SPIDER: You will obey. FIRST SPIDER: You will obey. SPIDERS: You will obey, you will obey, you will obey, you will obey, you will obey... LUPTON: I shall obey... LUPTON'S SPIDER: Very well. (The sound dies away but LUPTON lies dazed on the floor.) LUPTON'S SPIDER: If you cooperate, you will be rewarded. FIRST SPIDER: Now, what shall be our action? SECOND SPIDER: We should invade. This was the plan. LUPTON'S SPIDER: It must be carried out. [SCENE_BREAK] 11: INT. METEBELIS THREE. SPIDER'S BASE. PASSAGE (The DOCTOR turns a corner in the passage. Behind him is the entrance to what looks like a rocky cave. It is covered over with webs. From this emerges a familiar and panicking voice...) SARAH: (OOV.) Doctor! Doctor, come quickly! (The DOCTOR ducks under the webs and enters the rocky passage.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12: INT. LAMASERY. STAIR CUPBOARD (TOMMY sits on the floor of his stair cupboard, struggling with the unfamiliar words and difficult text.) TOMMY: (Reads.) "Intelligence...as a concept. The simplistic notion that the intelligence qu...qu...qu...quotient" (He consults the word in another book that lies next to him - a dictionary.) TOMMY: (Reads.) "Quotient - result given by dividing one quantity by another." (He sighs and shuts his first book.) TOMMY: It's no use - I don't understand the words. I'll have to ask someone wha...what's happened to me. (He remembers a name from his foggy past.) TOMMY: Yates. He's my friend, I think. I'll ask Mr. Yates. (He gets up and opens the door to the cupboard...) [SCENE_BREAK] 13: INT. LAMASERY. PASSAGEWAY (...but stops as he hears voices round the corner of the passage...) BARNES: (OOV.) Moss may be in the garden - if he hasn't run away altogether, of course. (TOMMY pulls the door to slightly but carefully to the exchange.) MIKE YATES: (OOV.) But we'll meet in the cellar? (TOMMY reacts. The phrase seems familiar.) BARNES: (OOV.) Yes, I suppose so. The sooner we get on with it, the better. I haven't had a moment's peace since Lupton disappeared. (Again TOMMY reacts to this statement. This has penetrated the befuddled memory from his previous life.) MIKE YATES: (OOV.) Ten minutes. BARNES: (OOV.) If I can find them - of course. (The footsteps of the people come nearer. TOMMY pulls the door to...) [SCENE_BREAK] 14: INT. LAMASERY. STAIR CUPBOARD (...and sinks to the floor, a look of puzzlement and concern on his face. The conversation has triggered so many memories. He remembers the words as they echo in his mind...) BARNES: (OOV.) I haven't had a moment's peace since Lupton disappeared. MIKE YATES: (OOV.) But we'll meet in the cellar? (The words continue to echo...) MIKE YATES: (OOV.) We'll meet in the cellar...in the cellar...in the cellar...in the cellar...in the cellar...in the cellar... (...as TOMMY remembers an urgent message given to him what seems such a long time ago by a girl in a red striped top who he has not seen since.) TOMMY: Cellar? (He sees in his mind's eye the urgent look on SARAH'S face as she implored him to take the message to MIKE.) SARAH: Lupton has gone down to the cellar... Lupton has gone down to the cellar... Lupton has gone down to the cellar...Lupton has gone down...Lupton... Lupton... Lupton... Lupton... Lupton... Lupton... Lupton... Lupton... (And another connection is made from his past...) TOMMY: Lupton! Clever Lupton! (He thinks back and relives the moment when LUPTON appeared out of thin air in the hallway and his own words of admiration from that time.) TOMMY: Clever Lupton... (He remembers another connection with this event and dives for his shoebox. He pulls the sought-after crystal from it and looks over its glowing blue colours as he tries to make sense of these events.) TOMMY: Cho-Je - I'll ask Cho-Je! (He puts the crystal in the ancient first-aid box on the wall, locks it and leaves the cupboard.) [SCENE_BREAK] 15: INT. METEBELIS THREE. CAVE OF THE BLUE CRYSTAL (The DOCTOR makes his way down a cave of glowing blue crystal. Large circular openings let in the light from the outside. SARAH'S voice echoes again, more urgent than ever...) SARAH: (OOV.) Quickly, Doctor! Quickly! (Suddenly another voice shrieks out. Unmistakably a SPIDER voice, it nevertheless contains a terrifying edge of hysteria within its tones.) GREAT ONE: (OOV.) Stop! If you come any further, Doctor, you will die! (The DOCTOR stops as instructed and frowns as he looks searchingly ahead.) GREAT ONE: (OOV.) Oh, not at once, but gradually every cell in your body will be irretrievably damaged by the crystal rays, and I need you alive! DOCTOR: (Worried.) I heard the voice of my assistant? GREAT ONE: (OOV.) Have no fear - she is quite safe. DOCTOR: (Worried.) But she called out to me for help. (The voice cackles with laughter.) GREAT ONE: (OOV.) Like this? (Again he hears SARAH'S pleading, desperate voice...) SARAH: (OOV.) Doctor! Help me! Come quickly! (He starts towards the sound, but...) GREAT ONE: (OOV.) No! It is an illusion! Listen...! SARAH: (OOV: Singing.) Half a pound of tuppenny rice, half a pound of treacle, that's the way the money goes..." (Then, inexplicably, there is a popping sound and the last line is sung by a voice that sounds like the DOCTOR himself.) DOCTOR: (OOV: Singing.) "...goes the weasel!" (At this sudden demonstration of power, the DOCTOR starts to look extremely wary and puzzled.) DOCTOR: Who...who are you? GREAT ONE: (OOV.) They call me...the Great One! DOCTOR: Why can't I see you? GREAT ONE: (OOV.) You will, Doctor, you will, all in good time - but not until you bring me the crystal you stole from Metebelis. DOCTOR: But why do you want that particular crystal? It's no different from all the others. GREAT ONE: (OOV.) Oh, but it is! You took the one last perfect crystal of power. I searched all time and all space for it. (Shrieks.) I must have it! DOCTOR: (Firmly.) No - no, never! (The cackles again with laughter.) GREAT ONE: (OOV.) You are proud, little man! I see that I shall have to teach you to have respect. (The DOCTOR suddenly flinches as he feels a power take control of his body.) GREAT ONE: (OOV.) Round you go, Doctor... (The DOCTOR'S eyes and twitching face show that he is putting up an almighty battle to retain control of his own body...) DOCTOR: (Shouts.) No...no! (...but the force against him is too great and he starts to stamp round in a circle, his legs raising and slamming down like a guardsman on parade.) DOCTOR: No, I will not! (The voice shrieks with laughter as her "plaything" carries on the circle.) DOCTOR: No! (The DOCTOR struggles on but the force is too great for him.) DOCTOR: No, I will not! No! (The circular turn is completed. The DOCTOR gasps with effort and a look akin to terror appears on his face as the voice starts to mock him.) GREAT ONE: (OOV.) Is that fear I can feel in your mind? You are not accustomed to feeling frightened, are you, Doctor? You are very wise to be afraid of me! Go now - you must hurry back and fetch the crystal! (The control over the DOCTOR'S body ceases. His hands twitch with nerves as the voice shrieks on...) GREAT ONE: (OOV.) I must have it, don't you understand?! I must have it! I must! I must! I must! Go now - go! (The DOCTOR starts to run back the way he came, the voice shrieking after him...) GREAT ONE: (OOV.) Go! Go noooooowwwwwww! [SCENE_BREAK] 16: INT. LAMASERY. CELLAR (LUPTON'S group is assembled in the cellar with BARNES taking the place of their vanished leader. MIKE makes up the quorum and chants with his new allies.) GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: O... [SCENE_BREAK] 17: INT. METEBELIS THREE. COUNCIL CHAMBER (The power link with Metebelis is made. The SPIDERS hum in unison as LUPTON'S SPIDER twitches on the QUEEN'S podium.) LUPTON'S SPIDER: Contact established. The path is open. FIRST SPIDER: The scout soldiers are ready. (A recovered LUPTON watches nervously from the other side of the chamber.) LUPTON: Wait! Where is this...contact? LUPTON'S SPIDER: (Impatiently.) The place you opened! LUPTON: The monastery? Then the group must be operating, but be careful - they might be hostile now. FIRST SPIDER: Then the approach must be secret. [SCENE_BREAK] 18: INT. LAMASERY. CELLAR (The ceremony continues...) BARNES: Padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. [SCENE_BREAK] 19: INT. METEBELIS THREE. COUNCIL CHAMBER (In the centre of the floor of the council chamber, a SPIDER is enveloped in a blue glow. As LUPTON watches with concern, the SPIDER fades away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 20: INT. LAMASERY. CELLAR (The chanting in the cellar is growing faster and more urgent...) GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: O... (BARNES breaks off.) BARNES: It's not working! MIKE YATES: (Urgently.) Keep trying! (The group re-starts the chant.) GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. (In a darkened corner of the cellar the blue glow appears and the SPIDER appears.) GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. (It scuttles off into the shadows.) GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. [SCENE_BREAK] 21: INT. METEBELIS THREE. COUNCIL CHAMBER (Another SPIDER moves across the floor of the council chamber and into the blue glow from whence it fades away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 22: INT. LAMASERY. CELLAR (The blue glow appears in the corner of the cellar where MIKE and SARAH previously hid. The frantically chanting men are oblivious to it.) GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. (The newly transported SPIDER appears in the glow.) GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. (It scuttles away to await further reinforcements.) [SCENE_BREAK] 23: INT. LAMASERY. SITTING ROOM (TOMMY has found CHO-JE and told the little man all that he knows...) TOMMY: So I thought I'd better come and tell you all about it. CHO-JE: I'm glad you did. (Softly.) Dear me, these foolish fellows. TOMMY: But don't you think we should tell K'anpo? CHO-JE: Indeed we should tell the Abbot when we know...what to tell him. (CHO-JE smiles gently and walks out of the sitting room. TOMMY follows.) [SCENE_BREAK] 24: INT. LAMASERY. PASSAGEWAY CHO-JE: Tommy, you go and get this...crystal, and I will go down to the cellar and see what these naughty chaps are about. (TOMMY is about to argue.) CHO-JE: Now off you go now. TOMMY: Yes, Cho-Je. (CHO-JE heads in the direction of the cellar and TOMMY is about to ascend the stairs when he softly calls the little monk back.) TOMMY: Cho-Je? CHO-JE: Yes? TOMMY: Y...you don't seem very surprised to find me changed? CHO-JE: When everything is new, can anything be a surprise? (CHO-JE giggles with happiness. TOMMY smiles back at him.) TOMMY: I see. CHO-JE: Hurry now. (They head off in different directions but the smile has disappeared off CHO-JE'S face.) [SCENE_BREAK] 25: INT. METEBELIS THREE. SPIDER'S BASE. PASSAGE (The DOCTOR has made it back to the main part of the SPIDER'S base. He ducks again under the webs which mask the entrance to the rocky passage, gathers his bearings and moves on.) [SCENE_BREAK] 26: INT. LAMASERY. CELLAR (The group in the cellar continues their chanting, still unaware of the effect that they have had.) GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. GROUP: Om. BARNES: Om mani... GROUP: Om. BARNES: ...padme hum. (With unaccustomed speed, CHO-JE runs down the cellar steps and up behind the seated group. Suddenly his voice rings out in anger.) CHO-JE: You must stop! GROUP: Ohm...! (The group abruptly does so. CHO-JE stares at them in horror.) CHO-JE: You are the most misguided of men. Did I not warn you? Did I not tell you of the risks you ran? (CHO-JE suddenly looks up in fear and even KEAVER grimaces as a SPIDER hangs in mid-air and shoots a burst of blue crackling energy at the monk. With a scream of pain, he falls to the ground. The others jump up in consternation. MIKE sees what has happened to CHO-JE.) MIKE YATES: No! (He runs over to help the fallen lama but the SPIDER blasts him as well. TOMMY runs down the steps but stops as he sees the other SPIDERS moving out of the shadows towards the other trapped humans. They back off in horror. TOMMY has seen enough and runs back up the steps to the ante-room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27: INT. LAMASERY. CELLAR ANTE-ROOM (He pulls the door to behind him and stops to collect his thoughts.) TOMMY: K'anpo... I must tell K'anpo. [SCENE_BREAK] 28: INT. METEBELIS THREE. SPIDER'S BASE. CELL (The DOCTOR enters the cell to find SARAH stood there waiting for him, seemingly unharmed. SABOR is still wrapped in his cocoon.) SARAH: Doctor! Where on earth have you been? DOCTOR: Sarah, so you're safe then? SARAH: Yes, of course I am. Now listen, Doctor - we're going to escape. Hold my hands. DOCTOR: Look, there's no time for foolish... (He breaks off as SABOR hears the sounds of commotion outside.) SABOR: Listen! ARAK: (OOV: In passage.) Sabor! Father! Where are you? SABOR: It's my son! [SCENE_BREAK] 29: INT. METEBELIS THREE. SPIDER'S BASE. PASSAGE (Outside the cell, the SECOND GUARD CAPTAIN raises a hand and fires a bolt of blue energy at ARAK. It crackles into the stone in his headband and the burly farmer staggers back slightly but is otherwise unharmed.) SABOR: (OOV: Inside cell.) Here, Arak! [SCENE_BREAK] 30: INT. METEBELIS THREE. SPIDER'S BASE. CELL (SARAH grabs the DOCTOR'S hands.) SARAH: Quickly, Doctor, or it'll be too late! (The two concentrate and they fade away. SABOR looks from his cocoon in astonishment but has no time for further reaction as his two sons run in.) ARAK: Father! (TUAR starts to cut away at the cocoon.) ARAK: Tuar! Behind you! (ARAK runs at a guard who has just entered the cell. ARAK'S knife is dashed from his hands and he is thrown to the floor. As TUAR continues to free their father, the guard punches down at ARAK who grabs the guards hands and rolls him across the floor.) [SCENE_BREAK] 31: EXT. METEBELIS THREE. VILLAGE (The DOCTOR and SARAH materialise in the middle of the village. The DOCTOR staggers backwards slightly and gives a "popping" sound with his tongue.) DOCTOR: "goes the weasel!" SARAH: What? DOCTOR: (Amazed.) How did you manage that? SARAH: The Queen taught me. Nothing to it really. (She dashes grinning towards the TARDIS as one of the hut doors opens and NESKA and REGA come running out.) NESKA: Stay girl! Tell us - what has been happening? SARAH: Oh, don't worry, Neska. Sabor is safe - Arak and Tuar are rescuing him at this very moment. Goodbye and thank you for everything! REGA: (To NESKA, delighted.) Can it be true? (SARAH, seemingly in charge of events, yells back at the DOCTOR...) SARAH: Come on, Doctor! (...who is rifling through his pockets with an expression of concern on his face.) DOCTOR: The key! I've lost the key! (She grins cheekily at him having opened the door of the TARDIS.) SARAH: I've got it. (She runs inside.) DOCTOR: Sarah... (The DOCTOR runs in after her.). NESKA: Wait! (She and her daughter run forward but the TARDIS makes its usual dematerialisation sound and fades away before the astonished eyes of the women of the village.) [SCENE_BREAK] 32: INT. LAMASERY. CELLAR (A SPIDER hangs on the shoulders of each of the four conscious men in the cellar. They fade away and the four look over their shoulders at their empty backs. Suddenly, something else takes their attention - the sound of the TARDIS materialising.) BARNES: Quickly, hide! (The four run into the darkness past the recumbent forms of MIKE and CHO-JE. The TARDIS appears in a corner of the cellar and the DOCTOR and SARAH emerge, instantly spotting the two unconscious men on the floor.) SARAH: Doctor, look! (The two bend down to help and the DOCTOR examines them quickly.) SARAH: Are they dead? (Then...) BARNES: No. (BARNES steps forward.) BARNES: An unfortunate oversight, Doctor. It won't occur again. (The others step forward. BARNES raises an arm and shoots a bolt of energy at the two arrivers. They duck down and the bolt slams into the cellar door. The DOCTOR pulls one of the black Metebelis stones out of his pocket and raises it like a talisman. KEAVER shoots another bolt which is absorbed by the stone and MOSS a third which is likewise ineffectual. TOMMY appears behinds MOSS and pushes the small man to the ground.) TOMMY: Quickly, Doctor! This way! (The DOCTOR deflects another bolt from BARNES and he and SARAH run up the steps past TOMMY. Another bolt hits the handyman. He staggers and a look of pain appears on his face but he is otherwise unharmed. He runs after the two escapees.) [SCENE_BREAK] 33: INT. LAMASERY. CELLAR ANTE-ROOM (SARAH and the DOCTOR wait in the ante-room for TOMMY with SARAH catching her breath. TOMMY is quickly behind them and locks the door to the cellar.) SARAH: But...but what about Mike and Cho-Je? DOCTOR: Oh, they'll be out for quite a time. But as long as they're unconscious, they're quite safe. TOMMY: What happened to the others? (The door starts to rattle from the other side.) DOCTOR: Oh, they've been taken over. SARAH: By the spiders? DOCTOR: Yes. TOMMY: We'd better get out of here. (He goes for the door from the ante-room but SARAH has just realised something...) SARAH: But, Tommy, you're normal! Y...you're just like everybody else! TOMMY: I sincerely hope not. (With the faintest of smiles, he leads the way out. The door to the cellar continues to rattle furiously.) [SCENE_BREAK] 34: INT. LAMASERY. PASSAGEWAY (TOMMY leads the other two down one of the Lamasery passageways.) TOMMY: This way. DOCTOR: Where are you taking us? TOMMY: To the Abbot. [SCENE_BREAK] 35: INT. LAMASERY. ABBOT'S ROOM (K'anpo Rinponche, the abbot of the lamasery, sits in an armchair, his hands folded deep in mediation. His room is comfortably furnished in a mixture of styles - classical English furniture for the most part but with Tibetan hangings on the walls in the place of the usually expected paintings, country prints and their like. The abbot is an elderly man with a white beard. Like CHO-JE, he is dressed in brown and red Tibetan robes. He seems oblivious to the events taking place in the building around him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 36: INT. LAMASERY. PASSAGEWAY OUTSIDE ABBOT'S ROOM (TOMMY leads the DOCTOR and SARAH round a corner and to the door to the abbot's room.) SARAH: Doctor! Doctor, the crystal! DOCTOR: Yes, yes, Sarah - all in good time. (TOMMY knocks on the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] 37: INT. LAMASERY. ABBOT'S ROOM (Inside, the abbot opens his eyes and gives an order in a voice that is as gentle as his face.) K'ANPO: Come in. (The three enter and the DOCTOR shuts the door behind them.) TOMMY: This is the Doctor, K'anpo. K'ANPO: I know. You are welcome. TOMMY: My friend, Sarah Jane Smith. K'ANPO: It is kind of you to come and visit an old man. (The DOCTOR steps forward, places his palms together and bows. He then speaks several words of Tibetan.) K'ANPO: You speak Tibetan? DOCTOR: A little, sir, yes. SARAH: (Smiling.) What did you just say? DOCTOR: I apologised to the Rinpoche for not bringing him a cotton scarf. K'ANPO: (To SARAH.) You friend knows not only our language, but also our customs. The ceremonial gift merely symbolises friendship. (To the DOCTOR.) We have no need for symbols - you and I. (The DOCTOR frowns at the meaningful way in which the abbot says this. TOMMY goes to the door.) TOMMY: I...I think I'd better keep a watch outside. If...if the others get out of the cellar...? K'ANPO: As yet they haven't managed it. They may soon though. Thank you, Tommy. (TOMMY goes out and shuts the door. K'anpo looks at his visitors.) K'ANPO: Pray be seated. DOCTOR: Thank you, sir. (The DOCTOR and SARAH each sit on a couple of low stools. The effect is to place the DOCTOR at the feet of the old man.) K'ANPO: Now, Doctor, you have a story to tell me. DOCTOR: Yes, well, I have a strange feeling that you already know most of it. Erm, you see, I...I found a crystal, a blue crystal... (K'anpo looks at him with twinkling eyes.) K'ANPO: Found? DOCTOR: (Uncomfortably.) Well, perhaps, "stole" might be a better word. (He looks at the old man.) DOCTOR: Forgive me, have we met before? K'ANPO: The recognition of friends is not always easy. (The DOCTOR frowns again but the abbot carries on...) K'ANPO: Tell me about this crystal you... "stole". DOCTOR: Yes, well it didn't occur to me that I had stolen it - at the time. You see... [SCENE_BREAK] 38: INT. LAMASERY. PASSAGEWAY OUTSIDE ABBOT'S ROOM (BARNES and the others come running round the corner and see TOMMY standing guard outside the abbot's door. They line up opposite him and hear one of the SPIDERS speaking in their minds.) SPIDER: (OOV.) The crystal is in that room! (BARNES walks up to the handyman.) BARNES: Get out of the way. (TOMMY gently but firmly shakes his head.) TOMMY: You can't go in there. (The two men stare each other out. BARNES walks backwards to his compatriots. TOMMY and BARNES continue to stare each other out.) MOSS: (Urgently.) What are we going to do? We... BARNES: (Interrupts.) Be quiet! (He yells at TOMMY...) BARNES: Stand back you! (...but the burly man stays where he is. BARNES raises a hand and blasts a spark of energy at TOMMY. Again he staggers but doesn't fall.) BARNES: Keaver, Land - get him out of the way! (The two men step forward.) LAND: Come on now, Tommy. (They walk up on either side of the man.) KEAVER: Now! (They jump him but TOMMY easily throws them back. BARNES also jumps TOMMY but his arm is grabbed and twisted behind his back. BARNES yells with pain.) BARNES: No, no! TOMMY: I'm sorry, Mr. Barnes. (TOMMY kicks BARNES away and he falls at the feet of the other possessed men.) BARNES: Kill him! (MOSS fires a bolt of energy, followed by KEAVER, then LAND and BARNES. The four men continue firing, pouring bolt after bolt into TOMMY...)

Plan: A: The Doctor; Q: Who escapes from the spiders' larder? A: the Great One; Q: Who does the Doctor encounter after escaping the spiders' larder? A: Sarah; Q: Who makes a deal with the Queen Spider? Summary: The Doctor escapes from the spiders' larder only to encounter the Great One, while Sarah makes a deal with the Queen Spider.

Ted's apartment... Ted (2030): Kids, as you know, Aunt Robin grew up in Canada. That meant sometimes she dressed à little differently. Robin: Okay, let's do this! In McLaren's... Ted (2030): Sometimes she talked a little differently. Robin: Ted, this hydro bill is bigger than Louis Cyr's biceps. What, you leave the garburator on all night, eh? In another bar... Ted (2030): She hung out at different bars and enjoyed leisure time a little differently. Robin, fighting: You want to go? You want to go?! Come on! (In McLaren's...) Make fun of the Great White North all you want. It's the best country in the world. Barney: The... mmm. Social experiment. (Chanting) U.S.A, U.S.A, U.S.A, U.S.A... Robin: Okay, okay. You know what, what does that even prove, okay? You chant anything, people we join in. (Chanting) Canada, Canada, Canada, Cana... Okay, they won't chant anything. Barney, singing: Shrimp fried rice... All singing: Shrimp fried rice, shrimp fried rice... Ted, joining them: Shrimp fried rice totally. Anyway, speaking of food, Marshall, I've got so bad news. Just read online, Gazzola's is closing. Marshall: No! Robin: What Gazzola's? Ted: A filthy mecca of spectacular if undercooked pizza located at 316 Kinzie Street, Chicago, Illinois. Marshall: Back in college, Ted and I used to take these crazy road trips from Connecticut all the way to Chicago just for Gazzola's pizza. Ted: 22 hours. No map. We'd just jump in the Fiero and drive. We were like Lewis and Clark, if Lewis and Clark peed in empty soda bottles and had a bong made out of a cantaloupe. Marshall: Man, those Gazzola trips, that's... that's when we really became bros. Ted: Mm. We ate nothing but jerky. Marshall: Drank nothing but Tantrum. Ted (2030): Ah, Tantrum. Tantrum was a soft drink with the highest caffeine content legally available over the counter. It was eventually discontinued after an extensive study by the FDA. Marshall: Oh, man, we went through a whole case of Tantrum one trip. Ted: I was color blind for two weeks after that. Marshall: I think that's the reason that I pass out when I hear church bells. Ted: It's probably a good thing they're closing Gazzola's. Those trips were brutal, right? The long hours in the car, the motion sickness, the smell. Marshall: So what time are we leaving for Gazzola's tomorrow? Ted: I was thinking 9:00, 9:30. Ted's apartment... Ted: I am ready to hit the road. I got baby wipes. I got a variety of jerky. I got six cans of Tantrum. Well, four. One burned though the can, the other one I drank already. (He tears a pillow) Tantrum! I am so psyched! Marshall and I haven't done something, just the two of us, for so long. Ever since he got married, he's turned from an "I" to a "We". Barney: What do you mean? Ted: Think about it. Ted is thinking of the scene. Ted: Hey, haven't seen you all week. How you doing? Marshall, in bar with Lily: We're doing great. Ted: Do you watch the Jets game? Marshall: We most certainly did. Ted: How'd things go at the doctor? Marshall: We no longer have a hemorrhoid problem. Barney: Hmm. Robin: You guys will not believe this. I've been talking to my lawyer all morning. You know that guy I have a slight disagreement with at the Hoser Hut? He's filing assault charges. Flash-back Robin is in a bar where she fights. Robin: Come on! End of flash-back Robin: I broke his nose with a chair. And now, apparently, I may end up getting deported. Ted: Oh, my God, that sucks! Yeah. I'm gonna go do push-ups in the kitchen. Tantrum! Robin: Well, there's only one possible way to avoid getting deported. My lawyer said I could become an American citizen. Barney: Perfect. Problem solved. Welcome aboard. Robin: Well, it's not that simple. I'm a Canadian. I was born there. My family's there. It's who I am. Barney: I know, and it's provided us with a lot of laughs. But, Robin, if you want to live here, work here and throw chairs at people here, you have to do this. Robin: Well, there's a citizenship test tomorrow. Barney: A cit... Robin: I'll think about it. Barney: No, no, you have to do it. I'll help you study. We're gonna stay up all night long. I'm gonna drill you, and then we're gonna study. No, seriously. We're gonna do some cramming and then we're gonna study. No, seriously. We're gonna bone up on... Robin: Okay, Barney. Barney: Sorry. It's a rich area. Robin: It is. Barney: But you know, it's not going to be easy, this test. It's not like the Canadian citizenship test. Robin: How do you know the Canadian test is easy? Barney: It's Canada. Question one: Do you want to be Canadian? Question two: really? Marshall, entering with "a hat with drink": Ted! Ted! Check it out! I got black coffee on the left, I got Tantrum on the right! Do you have a phone book?! Ted: Yes, I do! I don't why they make phone books anymore. Everything's online, right? Marshall tears the phone book. Marshall: Tantrum! Ted: Tantrum! Lily enters in the apartment. Lily: All right, let's hit the road. Ted: You invited Lily? Marshall: We most certainly did! Marshall and Lily leave. Barney: I don't know if you caught that, but he did the "we" thing. Ted: Yeah, I heard him. Barney: Okay. Lily, Marshall and Ted are in the car. Lily: Road trip! So you guys want to talk about bitches? I'm kidding. They're called women. Ted: All right, next stop: Chicago. Lily: I have to pee. Ted: Couldn't you have gone before we left? Lily: I did. I just pee a lot. You'll see. She goes out of the car. Marshall: Don't worry, we'll get out on the road, it'll be just like old times. Ted (2030): It wasn't. Flash-back In 1999... Marshall and Ted were singing in the car. *I would walk 500 miles And I would walk 500 more...* End of flash-back Lily: Sugar snap pea? Pea... That reminds me, I have to pee. Flash-back In 1999... In the car, Ted hides the visibility to Marshall. Ted: Okay, straight, straight, straight. Now, wait, a little to the left. We'll pass a state trooper. End of flash-back Ted is sleeping in the car. Lily, fighting Ted: Ooh, punch buggy yellow! Ted: Ow! Lily: Yellow, that reminds me, I have to pee. Flash-back In 1999... Ted: Thank you! End of flash-back Lily: Great. Oh, hey, Ted... Ted: You can't have to go again. It's not humanly possible. Lily: No, I was just going to say maybe we should listen to something. Ted: Oh, that's a great idea. I think I have some Jerky Boys. Marshall: Goodbye, Sparky. Lily: It's an audio book about a boy and his dog. It made Elisabeth Hasselbeck cry. Voice: Goodbye Sparky, by Nick Leotti. Read to you by Kenny Rogers. Marshall: Oh! Kenny: Chapter one: When I first saw Sparky, he reminded me of my favorite comb; he was missing a lot of teeth, but I loved him anyway. Mother was fit to be tied every time he used her prized rhododendron to do his business. Lily: That reminds me, I have to pee. In the apartment... Barney: "How many stars are on the flag?" Robin: 50, one for each state. Barney: "What are the first ten amendments to the Constitution called?" Robin: The Bill of Rights. Look, Barney, I know all this. I'm ready. Barney: Ready for the test maybe, but ready to be an American? Not on your sweet life. For you to be an American, we got to get the Canadian out of you. That's why I've created these questions. Question one: "Who is this?" Robin: Queen Elizabeth II. Barney: No, the answer is Elton John. Question two: "What the hell is this?" Robin: Oh, curling. Um, it's a sport played... Barney: Wrong. The answer we were looking for was "I don't care, it's dumb". Let's go buy something that's bad for us and then sue the people who made it. That's America, Robin. In the car... Kenny:...because Sparky loved chasing a ball, and it didn't much matter what kind. Tennis ball, baseball, Wiffle ball, golf ball, basketball, beach ball, gum ball, a grapefruit- which isn't actually a ball, but's round like a ball- a football- which isn't round, but it's still technically a ball- Indian rubber ball... Voice: This ends disk seven. The audio book continues on disk eight. (Ted removes the disk and puts back the other one) Disk eight. Kenny: Lacrosse ball, volleyball... Ted: Oh, my God, Lily, please tell me you have to go pee! Lily: Ah, I do. Ted (2030): It was the worst trip ever, but then it got worse. Marshall: Well, don't worry, the next exit's the hotel. We can go there. Ted: Hotel? Ted, Marshall and Lily arrive in the hotel. Woman: Crumpet Manor is listed in the American Registry of Historic Bed and Breakfasts. Our door is opened on Christmas day, 1881. And we have catered to couples ever since. Marshall: Well, I mean, single people can have fun here, too, right? Woman: Oh, I suppose I could arrange a little recreation. Do you enjoy sitting on a bench? In the apartment... Ted (2030): And by the end of the night, Barney had turned Robin into a real American. Robin: I want to say- Jefferson? Barney: Correct. Robin: Oh! Barney: Archie Bunker's neighbor was George Jefferson. Robin: Oh, boo-ya! I am nailing this. God, I'm buzzing on America right now! Barney: All right, hold your horses. Now to prove that you are as American as apple pie and the childhood obesity it leads to- who is this? Robin: That, Barney, is the American actor, beloved by millions, the "Hey, Vern" guy from the popular series of Ernest films. And his name... Jeff Foxworthy. Barney: Jeff Foxworthy? No, it's Jim Varney. You're kidding me. You don't know that? Robin: Uh, that's Jeff Foxworthy, dumbass. End of story. Now shut your stupid face. Barney: Not only are you wrong, but you are belligerently sticking to your guns and insulting me in the process. Robin Scherbatsky- you are an American. [SCENE_BREAK] In the hotel... Woman: Look who's back from the wishing well. Ted: It didn't work, I'm still here. Marshall, what are we doing? We should be on the road. Marshall: Ok, Ted, we're not in college anymore, okay? We don't have to drive all night. Lily: Besides, they have a spa. What kind of treatments do you offer? Woman: All our spa treatments are designed for couples. Would you be interested in the two person, cornmeal body scrub? Ted (2030): And then finally it happened. Marshall and Lily globbed into one big married glob. Marshall and Lily: We'd love cornmeal body scrub! Ted: Whoa. I got to dial back on the Tantrum. Robin walks on the street. Robin: Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be an American, y'all. (She throws one bottle on the floor) Maybe I'll rob a liquor store. Maybe I won't. My choice. Learn English! The Hoser Hut. I could duck in for a drink. No, no, that life's behind me. Forget it. Well, I could in for just one beer. What's the harm in that? It's a free country. (She crosses the road and enter into the bar) *O Canada Our home and native land...* Oh, God, I miss it. *True patriots love...* Ted knocks at Marshall and Lily's bedroom door. Ted: Hey, man. Marshall: Shh. Ted: Sorry about what I said before. You want to go to the store and get some beer? Marshall: Lily is asleep. I suppose I could reschedule my pedicure. What the hell? But only light beer because we have a couple hike in the morning. Marshall gets out of his room in bathrobe. Ted and Marshall are in the car. Marshall: Dude, why are we pulling to the highway? Ted, where exactly are we going to get this beer? Ted: Chicago. Marshall: What are you doing? We can't just leave Lily. When she wakes up, she's going to freak! Ted: She'll have a back rub and a crumpet. She'll be fine. Relax. Have some fun. Marshall: I just abandoned my wife. How am I supposed to have fun? 4 minutes later... Marshall and Ted, singing: *And I would walk 500 miles. And I would walk 500 more...* Ted: Hey, you really think Lily's pissed? Marshall: If she's pissed, she's pissed. Ted: Pfft. Ted (2030): When Barney finally tracked down your Aunt Robin, it wasn't a pretty sight. Barney enters in a room where Robin is. Barney: Good morning. Robin: Barney? Oh, my God. What happened last night? Barney: You went Canadian. Robin: How Canadian? Barney: This Canadian. (He opens the curtains) Oh. That was supposed to be a dramatic view of the Toronto sky- you're in Toronto. Robin: Oh, God. Okay. It's coming back to me. I, uh, I went into the Hoser Hut... And I met this women's curling team. Flash-back Robin: We started drinking. And the next thing I know, they're inviting me to a Bryan Adams/Rich title double bill in Toronto. End of flash-back Robin: How did you find me, anyway? Barney: You called me, said you were never coming back. So, I jumped on a plane, flew across the Atlantic... Robin: Canada isn't across the Atlantic. Barney: You're talking nonsense. Now, listen... You slipped up. It's fine. The test is in a few hours. Robin: Barney, I'm not taking the test. Barney: God, you're still drunk. Robin: Look, I appreciate your help, but... who am I kidding? I'm Canadian. I always will be. Barney: Now, that's ridiculous. We're gonna get some coffee, in you, we'll sober you up, and get you back to New York for that test. But, before any of that, we're gonna do it on this bed 'cause... hotel room. Okay, let's get some coffee. Ted and Marshall are in Chicago and they're eating. Ted: Kind of cross. Marshall: You're making me wonder if this pizza is worth the 22 hour drive. Ted: Just like old times! Marshall: I feel so young again except for the chest pains. Ted: But the crust is so good. What is the secret to this crust? Man: It's no big secret. It's made of cornmeal. Marshall: Cornmeal... Lily: We'd love a cornmeal body scrub! Ted: I can't believe you guys are closing. Man: I can't believe we're still open. Gotcha! These are getting bigger. Barney: It's like an entire country without a tailor. Robin: Yeah, give me two coffees. Women: $3,50, please. Hey, what did you think of the game last night? Robin: What game? Women: The Leafs beat Edmonton. Beauchemin went five hole in OT. Robin: Oh, I guess I missed it. Women: Oh, sorry. You're American. Here's your change. Robin: I'm not American. Women: American money? Didn't watch the Leafs game? No "please" or "thank you" for the coffee? You sure don't seem like a Canadian. Barney: What's wrong? Other than the fact that this five dollar bill they gave you is blue. Robin: Wow. I'm not American, and apparently, I'm not Canadian either. Barney: And there's kids playing hockey on the back. It's like you want us to make fun of you. In Chicago... Marshall: I don't want this anymore. Ted: Dude, don't look at it. That's a rookie mistake. Marshall: We shouldn't have left Lily. Ted: Well, if you're so worried, why don't you give her a call? Marshall: I have. I left her, like, 20 messages. I said, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. It's all Ted's fault!" Ted: What exactly is "Ted's fault"? Marshall: This! This whole thing! We were having a perfectly nice trip, and then you kidnapped me. You didn't even let me, put on underwear! Ted: We never used to put on underwear! That was the fun of a bro's trip to Gazzola's! We left everything, and everyone behind. It was just you and me! But now it's like you've disappeared into Lily. Marshall: That is not true. Ted: It is true. You're not upset because you're worried she's mad. You're upset because you'd rather be with her, eating muffins than here with me, eating this delicious... I think one of my mushrooms just crawled away. Marshall: Well, you know what? That mushroom's not the only thing that's living. Car keys, please. Ted throws the keys to him and Marshall bends. Barney: Look at this money! This one has a moose, this one has a beaver, and they all have Elton John on the back. Robin: When I moved to the States, I swore to myself, I wasn't going to change. And yet, here I am, in the most Canadian place in the universe- Tim Horton's- around the corner from the Hockey Hall of Fame, and I don't belong. It's like I don't have a country. Barney: Okay, that's it. (He climbs on a chair) Attention, Canada! I am Barney from America. And I'm here to fix your backward-ass country. Number one: get real money. Don't know what board game this came from, but it's a "jhoke". Number two- and this is the biggie- Quit letting awesome chicks like Robin Scherbatsky get away because, guess what? You don't want her? I'm planting my flag in her- if you know what I mean, which you probably don't- and getting her the hell out of here. You may now return to being pointless. (He sits down and three men arrive behind him) Ah, this coffee is excellent. Oh. Hey, fellas. It's called a "tie". A child locks the door with a hockey stick. Ted and Marshall are in the car. Kenny: Sparky was my best friend, but after I married Helen, old Spark started to feel a little left out. For so long, it had been just me and him, but now he suddenly felt like Helen had taken his place. What Sparky didn't realize was, even though I loved Helen, I still loved him, too. I had room in my heart for both of them. But maybe I should have put aside some special ball-tossing time just for the two of us t o make sure Sparky knew that he was a good boy. I wish now I had, 'cause old Sparky ran out in front of a Cadillac and got splattered like a watermelon in one of them Gallagher shows. Marshall: I'm sorry, ted! Ted: I'm sorry! No, I'm sorry. I never should have been mad at you! Marshall: No, I never should have brought lily. She pees all the time, even at the apartment. Still bros? Ted: Best bros. Hey, you want to crank some Van Halen just like old times? Marshall: Hells, yeah! Ted: Or listen to the Sparky book again? Marshall: Listen to the Sparky book again. Ted: Okay. Let's listen to it again. Barney and Robin return to the apartment. Barney: Man, those Canadian doctors banded me up, reset my jaw, put my shoulder back in its socket, and they didn't even bill me. Idiots. All right, I guess they're no idiots. The coffee was extraordinary. Huh. I guess Canada's not so bad. They play their cards right, maybe they can even become a state someday. Robin: Barney, I've thought about this. When you stood up and told off those people, I thought, "Yeah, America's cool." Barney: Hmm. Robin: And then when those guys pounded the stuffing out of you, I thought, "Yeah, Canada's pretty cool, too." I may have taken a few pokes myself. So, I've decided, dual citizenship. I'm going to be American and Canadian. Barney: Wait, you can do that? Robin: Yeah, dummy. Instead of being a woman with no country, I'm going to be a woman with two. Barney: I see. Robin: You understand? Barney: No, I can see out of my left eye again. Ted and Marshall return in Marshall and Lily's room. Marshall: Hey, baby? Baby? Lily: Hmm? Yeah? Marshall: I'm so sorry that we left you. Lily: Did you go somewhere, sweetie? Flash-back Ted (2030): Yes, kids, it turns out Crumpet Manor had pampered Lily into a nearly comatose state of relaxation. She didn't even notice we were gone. Lily's phone vibrates. Lily: Mmm... Oh, oh, oh... Yeah... End of flash-back Lily: So, I had a great time, too. Marshall: That's good. And I'm so sorry you didn't get any pizza. Lily: Oh, that's okay. Ted (2030): And if she didn't mean it then, she certainly meant it 19 minutes later. Marshall: God, my stomach! Damn you, Gazzola's! Ted: It's like a hot ball of lead! Marshall: Baby, cut it out of me. Ted and Marshall are in the car, again. Marshall: That was a wild trip, huh, Ted? Ted: I know. It was kind of crazy. But how great is it to drink some Tantrum again? Marshall: You know who had fun, was Lily. Lily drank like, four cans of the stuff. Right Lil'? Where's Lily? Lily, on the roof of the car: Tantrum! I have to pee. The end

Plan: A: Ted; Q: Who proposes a road trip with Marshall? A: Chicago; Q: Where is Marshall's favorite pizza parlor? A: their bachelor days; Q: What does Ted want to reminisce about with Marshall? A: the 'bro' time; Q: What does Lily ruin on the road trip? A: Barney; Q: Who is trying to get Robin American citizenship? A: her Canadian traits; Q: What does Robin still have? Summary: Ted proposes a road trip with Marshall to their favorite pizza parlor in Chicago to reminisce their bachelor days, but Lily comes on the trip, spoiling the 'bro' time. Barney is seeking American citizenship for Robin, but her Canadian traits still remain.

ARC OF INFINITY BY: JOHNNY BYRNE Part One First Air Date: 3 January 1983 Running time: 24:37 [SCENE_BREAK] OMEGA: You have made your choice? TIME LORD: Yes. We are ready to begin. OMEGA: Excellent. And your choice? TIME LORD: It has not been easy, but time, present location, personality, for these and other reasons, it must be the Doctor. OMEGA: The Doctor? Yes. Clever. Most ingenious. The perfect choice, Time Lord. [SCENE_BREAK] DAMON: The security circuit. Cut the scrambler. DAMON: That's odd. Photon cell burnout? TALOR: Okay? DAMON: Yes. DAMON: I don't believe this. Talor, look. TALOR: What is it? DAMON: Someone's transmitting the biodata extract of one of the Time Lords. TALOR: Cut it! This is treason. I must report it at once. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: And such a simple repair job. NYSSA: Why didn't you do it sooner? DOCTOR: Well, you know how it is. You put things off for a day, next thing you know it's a hundred years later. NYSSA: It'll make quite a difference to have audio link-up on the scanner again. DOCTOR: Mmm. DOCTOR: Let's see if it works. [SCENE_BREAK] FRAZER: No, everywhere is full. You got to sleep rough tonight. Yeah, the hostel from tomorrow. That's the number I gave you. Look, I'd better go. I'll see you at the airport tomorrow. Take care. STUART: Okay? Oh no, a policeman. FRAZER: Steady. The Dutch are a very civilised race. They don't put people into prison for losing a passport. STUART: No, but they can deport you. FRAZER: Oh, come on, let's grab something to eat. Anyway, our real worry is where we're going to sleep tonight. STUART: I know a place. Not the most appealing, but central and very cheap. FRAZER: Sounds perfect. STUART: And literally as quiet as the grave. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Perfect. NYSSA: We have an audio system, but nothing to listen to. DOCTOR: And now we have nothing to look at. Couldn't be better. Peace and quiet is just what the doctor ordered. NYSSA: Doctor? There are many other repairs to do. DOCTOR: Well, there's nothing urgent, is there? NYSSA: The navigational system? That must be faulty. We never seem to arrive where we intend. DOCTOR: No. Well, you see, ever since the Cybermen damaged the console NYSSA: And that's another thing. The TARDIS used to be in a state of temporal grace, you said. Guns couldn't be fired. DOCTOR: Yes. Well, nobody's perfect. NYSSA: Doctor. [SCENE_BREAK] NYSSA (OOV.): Doctor, come quickly! [SCENE_BREAK] OMEGA: The data has been received, Time Lord, but not the booster element. Why? TIME LORD: I had to close down transmission. A fault developed. OMEGA: What will you do? TIME LORD: Check to see it wasn't detected. OMEGA: And if it were? TIME LORD: I'll deal with it. Perhaps we should delay until I have. OMEGA: It is too late. Already the TARDIS is under my control. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Sensors show we're converging with a massive source of magnetic radiation. NYSSA: But there's nothing out there. Just light years of black empty space. DOCTOR: Well, something's causing it. We must change course. NYSSA: To where? DOCTOR: Anywhere, so as long as it's away from here. [SCENE_BREAK] STUART: There we are. FRAZER: We're spending the night there? STUART: Yes. [SCENE_BREAK] NYSSA: What's happening? DOCTOR: I don't know. NYSSA: These readings don't make sense. DOCTOR: I know. [SCENE_BREAK] FRAZER: Hey, where are you going? STUART: Just follow me. [SCENE_BREAK] FRAZER: What is this place? It's so dark. STUART: Here, take this. (a torch) Trust me, Colin. Have I ever lead you astray? FRAZER: There's always a first time. Who owns this place? STUART: The state. It's a kind of forgotten national treasure. No one ever comes here except the odd gardener during the day. FRAZER: Wait a minute. This is a crypt! STUART: So? FRAZER: I thought you said this was a cellar. STUART: Didn't you see the ornamentation? The fountain? FRAZER: Are you serious about staying the night here? STUART: Of course. FRAZER: Now I know you're crazy. STUART: Come on. Our nest's through here. [SCENE_BREAK] STUART: Not quite the Ritz, but it's dry and warm. FRAZER: What's in the pipes? STUART: Water. We're below sea level here. Stop the pumps and Amsterdam would take up its stilts and float. How'd you like it? FRAZER: Well, I'm not too keen on the neighbours. [SCENE_BREAK] DAMON: The analysis checks out. TALOR: You're sure? DAMON: Yes, it's the Doctor's biodata extract. What did the Castellan have to say? TALOR: In spite of the urgency of my request, he chooses not to be available until tomorrow. DAMON: You realise only members of the High Council could have transmitted that data? TALOR: I know. We just have to wait. DAMON: Do you need me any more? TALOR: No. Good night. DAMON: Good night. TALOR: Good evening. TALOR: Impulse laser? [SCENE_BREAK] STUART: Are you really going to sleep like that? FRAZER: What's the matter with that? STUART: You're still fully dressed. FRAZER: I'm not taking any chances. STUART: Oh, come on. It's only a pump house. The worst that can happen is that we're caught by the police. FRAZER: I find this place spooky. STUART: At least take your boots off. [SCENE_BREAK] TIME LORD: As I feared, transmission was detected, but it has been dealt with. OMEGA: How? TIME LORD: An accident has been arranged. OMEGA: Bonding can take place immediately? TIME LORD: As long as you are positive there is no other way. OMEGA: I am not of your dimension, Time Lord. I have the means to enter, but without the physical imprint of bonding, I cannot remain among you. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: I can't control the TARDIS! NYSSA: Can't you override the control? DOCTOR: I just tried. NYSSA: Doctor! NYSSA: What is it? DOCTOR: Something's coming through. NYSSA: A materialisation? DOCTOR: No, extradimensional. DOCTOR: Quick, Nyssa, out of here! [SCENE_BREAK] The Doctor and Nyssa slow to a halt. The Doctor turns around to see Omega, who then glides inside him.) DOCTOR: No! No! NYSSA: Doctor! [SCENE_BREAK] FRAZER: Robin! Come on, wake up. There's something going on inside. STUART: What? FRAZER: There's somebody in there. STUART: You're imagining it. Go to sleep. FRAZER: I tell you I heard something. STUART: You sort it out. I want to sleep. [SCENE_BREAK] FRAZER: That wasn't here before. [SCENE_BREAK] NYSSA: Doctor? Oh, thank goodness you're all right. DOCTOR: How long have I been here? NYSSA: Not long. What was that thing? It just appeared from nowhere. DOCTOR: From another dimension. NYSSA: Has it gone? DOCTOR: From the TARDIS, yes. NYSSA: For a moment I thought it had taken you over. DOCTOR: Well, for a moment it did. What you saw was an attempted temporal bonding. The molecular realignment of two basically incompatible lifeforms. NYSSA: I checked the sensors. This creature is formed from anti-matter. DOCTOR: Are you sure? Then it's worse than I feared. NYSSA: But the creature failed. It's not in our dimension now. DOCTOR: Oh, it is somewhere, and halfway to achieving its purpose. It won't have given up that easily. NYSSA: To remain in this universe, the creature would have to reverse its polarity. I mean, if it failed DOCTOR: Matter and anti-matter in collision. Yes, I take your point. Come on, we've got work to do. [SCENE_BREAK] STUART: Colin? Colin? [SCENE_BREAK] STUART: Colin? Okay, very funny. Now cut it out. [SCENE_BREAK] ZORAC: Well, Lord President? BORUSA: The Matrix confirms what we already know, Cardinal Zorac. The creature is intelligent, immensely powerful, and formed from antimatter. ZORAC: Damnable business. Thalia, you're the expert on this, what do you have to say? THALIA: Well, in theory, movement between dimensions is possible. In practice, less so. But the same was said about time travel, and that has long been a reality. HEDIN: Has the Matrix fixed the location of the creature? BORUSA: It can't. Temporal distortion is extremely severe. THALIA: At present the creature is shielded, but that will soon decay. ZORAC: Then we shall know precisely where the creature is. CASTELLAN: But that will be too late, unless the bond was severed. THALIA: That, of course, is another matter. But we all know what that would mean for the Doctor. [SCENE_BREAK] NYSSA: (reads) Rondel, intergalactic region devoid of all stellar activity. In former times the location of collapsed Q star. NYSSA: Q star? DOCTOR: They're very rare. On burnout it creates quardal magnetism. That's what the sensors picked up. It's the only force known to shield anti-matter. NYSSA: That's what's shielding the creature? DOCTOR: Has to be. But it's known to decay rapidly. Anything else? NYSSA: Not much. Just the name the ancients gave to this region. The Arc of Infinity. DOCTOR: That's it, Nyssa. That's how it came through. What we saw was the gateway to the dimensions. The Arc of Infinity. [SCENE_BREAK] OMEGA: The bonding registered in the Matrix? TIME LORD: Very clearly. OMEGA: And the High Council? TIME LORD: They had no choice but to act as we predicted. But you, I detect a weakness. OMEGA: My concern, Time Lord, not yours. Carry out your instructions and all will be well. [SCENE_BREAK] NYSSA: So, if this creature can't bond with you, it can have no real existence in this universe. DOCTOR: Right. NYSSA: But to do that, it would have to have detailed biological information about you. DOCTOR: Which in my case exists only in the Matrix on Gallifrey. NYSSA: So someone there passed it on. [SCENE_BREAK] MAXIL: Feed this into the Matrix. Well, don't you recognise the Lord President's seal? DAMON: I will need to confirm your authorisation. MAXIL: Arrest him. DAMON: Please, please. Well, perhaps I spoke in haste, but to recall a TARDIS, and without prior announcement, well, you must understand my position. MAXIL: It's not without due and proper consideration that this decision has been made. DAMON: Where do you want the TARDIS located? MAXIL: The security compound. And only I am to have access. Tell my men when the TARDIS arrives. They'll be waiting outside. [SCENE_BREAK] NYSSA: There was a massive energy transfer. DOCTOR: Hmm. This creature controls the shift of the Arc. Just think of it, Nyssa. With such power you can unlock the door to travel between the dimensions of matter and anti-matter. NYSSA: Doctor, we've changed course. DOCTOR: High Council of Time Lords. We're being taken back to Gallifrey. NYSSA: Why? DOCTOR: I don't know. It must be urgent. Only twice before in our history has the recall circuit been used. [SCENE_BREAK] STUART: Colin! It's me, Colin. Come on, let's get out of here. I was just about to fetch the police. STUART: Come on, let's get out of this hell hole! [SCENE_BREAK] MAXIL: The TARDIS has arrived. DAMON: Yes, I was about to inform you. The compound is secure. MAXIL: Excellent. DAMON: Commander Maxil, why are you treating the Doctor like a criminal? MAXIL: I'm simply following orders. [SCENE_BREAK] NYSSA: Where are we? DOCTOR: The security compound in the heart of the Citadel. DOCTOR: Well, they're taking no chances. NYSSA: We're locked in. DOCTOR: Handprint activated, from the outside. Fetch my indent kit from the workbench, will you? I might just be able to trip it. Quickly! [SCENE_BREAK] RECEPTIONIST: Look, come back in half an hour, okay? MAN: Okay, thank you. RECEPTIONIST: Bye. MAN: Bye-bye. STUART: You have a room booked for me. RECEPTIONIST: What's your name, please? STUART: Stuart. RECEPTIONIST: Ah yes. How long will you be staying for, Mister Stuart? STUART: I don't know. A few days. RECEPTIONIST: No problem. You are in room thirty four. Oh, one moment, please. Are you the Mister Stuart who reserved with Mister Frazer? Mister Colin Frazer? STUART: What about it? RECEPTIONIST: Well, will Mister Frazer be checking in today? STUART: Don't count on it. RECEPTIONIST: Sorry? STUART: What I said. Colin Frazer won't be coming here. Not today, not tomorrow. If you want the details, ask the police. Perhaps when they stop indifferent they might start looking for him. RECEPTIONIST: I'm sorry. I wish I could help. I'm only asking because there's a telephone message for him, that's all. STUART: Oh. What message? RECEPTIONIST: His cousin will arrive at Schiphol Airport tomorrow morning at ten thirty. [SCENE_BREAK] NYSSA: I don't understand, Doctor. DOCTOR: Not now, Nyssa. NYSSA: Why are we locked in? Surely the Time Lords have brought you back to help find the creature and prevent its bonding with you. DOCTOR: I wish I could believe that. NYSSA: What other reason would there be? DOCTOR: It won't be that easy to track this creature down. The universe is rather a big place. And there is an easier alternative. NYSSA: To kill you? Is that why they've brought you back? DOCTOR: Possibly. NYSSA: You did it! DOCTOR: I doubt it. Not with this kind of lock. And certainly not as quickly. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: This way. [SCENE_BREAK] GUARD (OOV.): Commander? MAXIL: Yes? NYSSA: Where are we trying to get to? DOCTOR: The computer room. It's not far now. NYSSA: Will it be guarded? DOCTOR: Well, they certainly know we've arrived. DOCTOR: Quickly! DOCTOR: Hello, I'm the Doctor. NYSSA: Doctor!

Plan: A: a treasonous act; Q: What does someone on Gallifrey commit? A: The Matrix; Q: Where is the Doctor's bio-extract from? A: a unknown being; Q: Who does someone transmit the Doctor's bio-extract to? A: Earth; Q: On what planet are two students attacked by an alien creature? A: a underground crypt; Q: Where did two students spend the night in Amsterdam? Summary: On Gallifrey, someone commits a treasonous act and transmits the Doctor's bio-extract from The Matrix to a unknown being. Meanwhile on Earth, two students spend the night in a underground crypt in Amsterdam and are attacked by a alien creature.

Skyline: Nothing Happens. ACT 1 Scene 1 - Radio Station. Frasier is finishing with a caller. Frasier: Terrence, I'm afraid we're nearing the end of our program, and we still haven't gotten to the heart of your problem. Terrence: Well, uh, I guess I'm just sick of being single. I mean, I'm almost forty. What kind of loser am I? Frasier: A single man in his forties is not a loser. Terrence: I said I'm almost forty. Don't make it worse than it is. Frasier looks slightly miffed at this. Roz: Can I jump in here, Frasier? Frasier: Please. Roz: Listen, Terrence, I know that I'm not as old as you - or Frasier - but I've been through plenty of heartache and loneliness. I remember thinking: "Love is never going to come to me," so I gave up. And that is when a handsome, sweet-hearted man named Roger jumped off his garbage truck and into my life. And I have been deliriously happy ever since, and I feel sure that the same thing will happen for you. Frasier has rolled his eyes throughout this speech. Clearly he has heard it before. Terrence: So I have to give up on love first? Roz: No, I'm saying don't give up. Terrence: But you said you met this garbage man after you gave up. Frasier: Terrence, I think what Roz is trying to say is that whether we seek love or not, we are always at the mercy of its mysterious rhythm. Roz: Exactly. Terrence: That's not what she said, Frasier. Frasier: [hanging up] I think we know why this guy's still single. This is Dr. Frasier Crane saying Good Day, Seattle, and Good Mental Health. He signs off. Roz enters from her booth. (It should be noted that she is wearing a necklace with a big silver "R" on its end.) Roz: Your dad called during the last segment. Frasier: Oh, great. Roz: There's the number. Frasier: Thank you. Yes, he's working the early shift today, so we're going to have a dinner together this evening. He begins to dial. Roz: I'm going out to dinner too. Frasier: Yes, with Roger. You mentioned that. Roz: Did I tell you he's taking me on a moonlight picnic? Frasier: Yes, you did. Roz: In a canoe? Frasier: Check. Roz: How romantic is that? He said all I have to bring is my appetite for caviar and affection. I told him all he had to bring was his appetite because I'll be wearing my edible... Frasier: [interrupting at this fortuitous moment] Dad, Hi! Yeah, listen, um, I've made our reservation for... [aside] Sorry, Roz. She goes back to the booth. Frasier: Yes, hello, is Martin Crane there, please? [Pause] Dad, Hi! I made a reservation for, uh, 7:30, so I'll pick you up around 7:15, all right? Oh. Oh dear. Hey, you know what? Why don't I stop by with a pizza? Okay, great. I'll see you then. Bye. Before he hangs up, Roz enters again with a basket of flowers. Roz: More flowers from Roger, and you have to hear this poem he wrote me. Frasier: [into phone] Hang on a second, Dad. I've got to get a pen. I'll write that down. [aside] I'm sorry, Roz. Roz returns to the booth. Frasier grabs a pad and pen to continue the charade. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene 2 - Martin's place of employment as a security guard. It is the lobby of an office building. A woman exits the elevator and passes his station. Woman: Good night, Marty! Martin: See you tomorrow, Babs. Frasier enters with a pizza box. Frasier: Hey, Mister, pizza delivery! Martin: Hey, you made it! Oh, that smells good. What kind did you get? Frasier: Prosciutto and Fontina. Martin: Oh, I had my heart set on a ham-and-cheese. [opening the box] Oh, you were just messing with me! Good one, Fras! [They begin to clear the desk.] Uh-oh, my boss is coming. Frasier: Where? Martin: I can see him on the monitors. Frasier: I'd love to meet him. At this point, Martin's boss, Rich Kechner, enters. He is having a heated conversation on a radio. Rich: How many times do I have to tell you to stay off this damn frequency! Martin: Uh, maybe just go read the directory for a minute. Frasier walks off. He listens intently to the following exchange. Rich: [approaching] Food has to stay out of sight, Crane. Martin: Oh, right. [He begins to put the box of pizza under the desk.] Rich: I'll take a slice, though. Martin: Oh, sure. Rich: [taking a slice] Hey, did you notice anyone messing with the camera in the east tower? Martin: Oh, yeah, that was me. The way it was pointed you couldn't really see the stairs. Rich: So you left your post? Martin: I just thought, you know, it made more sense if... Rich: [interrupting angrily] We don't pay you to think, Crane! We pay you to watch the monitors and keep the sign-in sheet in order. Frasier, hearing this, is horrified and reacts with silent disbelief. Rich: We also pay you to button the top button of your shirt! A man, exiting the building, greets them. Man: See you tomorrow, fellas. Martin: Good night! Rich: [simultaneously] Good night, now! Frasier continues to listen in outrage. Rich: Maybe when you were a cop you could play fast and loose with the rules, but here at Kechner security, regulations have to be followed. Martin: Yes, sir. Do you want to look over the sign in sheet? CUT TO: Frasier. A man approaches him, observing that he is near the directory. Man: Do you need any help? Frasier: Uh, I-I'm sorry, no. No, thank you. Man: You hate to ask for help, huh? You know what people who never ask questions never get? [off Frasier's gesture] Answers. Frasier: Very interesting. Yes, um... [pointing to the directory] Ah, there it is. UCB industries. Man: You're a UCB man? Frasier: Yes. Man: I'm with DNR associates. So I guess technically, we shouldn't be talking. But, uh, who takes that corporate competition stuff seriously anymore. Frasier: I do. Man: Oh. [He walks off.] CUT BACK TO: Martin and Rich. Rich: Look, Crane, if you really want to put that busy brain of yours to work, why don't you mastermind a way to lift the pizza stain out of your tie? He exits. Martin begins to clean his tie. Frasier approaches. Frasier: I can't believe the way that guy talked to you! Martin: Oh, it's no big deal. Why don't you just go home? Frasier: But he has no right to do that! Martin: Just go home. Frasier: All right. I'll see you there. He reluctantly goes to the elevator. The same businessman is standing there. They wait. Man: Well, this is awkward. Especially with the, uh, Reliance Bearings account up for grabs. Whoever wins it, wins it. Good luck. Frasier: [with obvious enjoyment] Don't you mean congratulations? Man: You're kidding! Frasier: An hour ago. Don't they ever CC you guys on this stuff? Frasier enters the arriving elevator. The man pulls out his cell phone. Frasier gleefully gestures good-bye to the man as the elevator closes. [SCENE_BREAK] THEY HAD TO CLOSE THE EXPRESS LINE Scene 3 - Frasier's apartment. Niles and Daphne are seated on the couch. Frasier is standing. Niles: You're sure you're not exaggerating? Frasier: Well, I'll tell you, Niles, I stood there, slack-jawed, as Dad was reprimanded like an errant child! Daphne: [serving coffee] Well maybe his boss was having a tough day and needed someone to take it out on. You know, sometimes an employer gets so caught up in his own world that he... Frasier: [cutting her off, increasingly indignant] I mean, after all, this is a man who served his country in Korea, who had a distinguished career as a detective, and yet he is being treated the way you [indicating Niles] would treat a grocery store bag boy! Niles: What does that mean? Frasier: Oh, don't you play coy with me just because Daphne's here. I have seen you when your avocados are packed under your ice cream. Niles: Excuse me, that young man was on drugs and everyone in the store knew it! Martin enters. Martin: Hey, guys. Niles: Hey, Dad. Frasier: Dad. Daphne: Mr. Crane. How was work today? Martin: Oh, same old, same old. Boy, I'm beat. He sets his lunch box on the coffee table and moves to sit in his chair. Martin: Eight hours of staring at those monitors can really wear you out. As he turns on the TV, the others comment visually on the irony of that statement. Frasier: So, Dad, did you speak with your supervisor? Martin: Oh, don't start this again. Everything's fine. Frasier: Oh, come on, Dad, after the way that man eviscerated you? Martin: That's just Rich. He's one of those tough guys. It's no big deal. Frasier: You're a tough guy yourself. Why didn't you set him straight? Martin: I'm not going to talk back to my boss. You have to respect the chain of command. It's not always easy, but that's the way I've always done it. Frasier: So you're just going to sit there and take it? Martin: Oh, come on, Fras. Now, we're men. We know how to gut these things out. We don't whine and cry. You know that. Daphne: [disparagingly] Ha! [All three of them stare at her.] H... How true. You do know that, Dr. Crane. She sips her coffee. Frasier: You know, I'll bet the owner of the company would like to know how this Rich is behaving. Martin: The owner of the company is Rich's son. Frasier: Nepotism, huh? Golly, this problem just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Martin: It's not a problem! Frasier: Dad! Niles: Frasier! Would you listen? He said it's not a problem. I'm sure Dad's more than capable of handling himself. Martin: Thank you. Niles: See, he thinks you're completely out of line. Martin: No, I just... Niles: [interrupting] No, Dad, Dad. I got this. Frasier: Look, you've got to have at least some kind of plan to deal with this guy. Martin: I've got a plan. Once Rich knows I'm not fighting, he'll drop it, which is what you guys are going to do. Now I'm tired of talking about this. Niles: See, now you've mad Dad tired. Martin: Can it, Niles! Niles: And cranky. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene 4 - Cafe Nervosa. Frasier is seated. A man enters, seeking him. It is Charlie Kechner, the owner of the security company. Charlie: Frasier Crane, right? Frasier: Oh, yes, yes. Charlie: I'm Charlie Kechner of Kechner Security. [They shake hands.] Frasier: Mr. Kechner, nice to meet you. Please sit down. Would you like some coffee? Charlie: Nothing for me, thanks. Frasier: I'd like to thank you for meeting me like this. Charlie: No problem. I like face-to-facing with new clients - especially those in the public eye who need the kind of custom-tailored security that we specialize in. So, what is it? Stalker, blackmailer, random nut job? Frasier: I'm sorry, but I'm not actually... in the market for security services. Charlie: Well that's strange. [reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a paper] Because your phone message said "I'm in the market for security services." Frasier: Yes, I can see how that may have been misleading. I, um... I wanted to meet you in person because I have a...a matter of some delicacy to discuss with you. You see, my father works for your company, and I understand your father does as well Charlie: What does this have to do with anything? Frasier: Well, it seems that... your dad has been picking on my dad. Charlie: [puzzled] What? That doesn't sound like my dad. Frasier: Well, perhaps you don't know your dad as well as you think you do. I saw the whole thing. Charlie: Well, maybe my dad was just defending himself. Did your dad provoke him? Frasier: No, no. I can assure you that your dad started it. Charlie: None of the other guards has any trouble with my dad. Maybe your dad just needs to toughen up a little. Frasier: My father fought in Korea. Charlie: Did he? Or did you fight the Koreans for him? Frasier: [who has no response for this] Now, Charlie, I'm sure a man of your inspired leadership has resolved conflicts between employees before. Charlie: Sure. Frasier: It's that kind of enlightened management that has made the name Kechner synonymous with security. Charlie: All right. I'll look into it. Frasier: Thank you. [They rise.] Thank you so much. Oh, and if you don't mind, could we keep this meeting between us? I'd hate to have my father think that I went behind his back. Charlie: You're asking me to conceal something from my own father? I don't know if I can do that. On the other hand, if you were a client, I'd be obligated to keep this confidential. Frasier: If you're implying what I think you are, Mr. Kechner, I hope, for your sake, you brought some brochures. Please... They sit. Charlie opens his briefcase. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene 5 - The office building lobby. Martin is at his desk. Rich and some others exit the elevator. Rich: Good night. Martin: Hey, Rich. Rich: Hey, Buddy! Everything all right here? Martin: Uh, sure. Rich: Nothing to complain about then? Martin: No. Want some coffee? Rich: No, no, no. I keep my eating and drinking to the break room. That way, nobody...complains. Martin: Okay. Uh, I could use your initials on my time card if you've got a sec. Rich: Oh, for you, I've got all night. I'll be sure to do it neatly, so there'll be no complaints. [He hands back the time card, smiling insincerely.] Martin: Okay, what's going on? Rich: You tell me. My son chewed me out for being too tough on the guards. Now I wonder who might have put him up to that? Martin: Could have been any of the guys? Rich: I think it was you! Martin: It wasn't me. I'm not a complainer. Rich: Good. Then you won't complain about doing a few graveyard shifts next week? Martin: No problem. Rich: Good. How's Tuesday, Wednesday work for you? Martin: Actually, that's not so good. Rich: Oh? [with increasing anger] Then how's Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday? Martin: [stoically] Better. [SCENE_BREAK] END OF ACT 1 ACT 2 Scene 6 - Cafe Nervosa. Niles and Daphne are seated. Roz enters and approaches them. Roz: Hey Niles! Hey Daphne... Niles: Hey Roz. Roz: I called you this morning. Where were you? Daphne: Sleeping. Mr. Crane's been working the overnight shift. It's thrown my whole schedule off. Roz: Oh. Roger and I have been working overnight too, if you know what I mean. Let me grab a muffin and I'll tell you all about it. Niles: Grab one for me too. Roz: Okay. She goes to the counter. Niles: So I can stick it in my ears. I'm just a little tired of hearing about it. Daphne: You're tired? I've heard double whatever you have. Did you know Roger wrote her a song to the tune of "I Believe I Can Fly?" Niles: I do now, don't I? Look, let's just not talk about Roger this one time, okay. Daphne: That's impossible. She brings everything back to him. Niles: Well, just leave it to me. Daphne: Good luck. Roz: [returning] So what are you guys talking about? Niles: Um, medieval French history. Roz: I've always wanted to see Paris. Niles: Mm-hmm. Thank you. Roz: Roger says he's going to take me there someday. He says you haven't truly made love... Niles: Oh, look at this. Roz: What? Niles: It says interest rates might go down again. Daphne: Oh, just when we thought the interest couldn't get any lower. Roz: I don't know about interest rates and all that garbage... [correcting herself] Oops. It's a good thing Roger didn't hear that. He doesn't like it when I use "garbage" in a derogatory way. [Niles and Daphne exchange glances.] Of course, he always forgives me. Isn't he a doll? Niles: Oh, you know, speaking of dolls, I understand that the Nordic Heritage Museum is planning a huge retrospective of Icelandic dolls of the 19th century. He glances at Daphne. She smiles back. Roz: Hmm, is the Nordic Museum the one near Sunset Hill? Because Roger and I had the best bottle of wine there... Niles: No. The Nordic Museum is in Ballard. He and Daphne wait hopefully. Roz: Oh. I guess I don't know that place after all. Daphne: That exhibit sounds fascinating, Niles. When is it? Niles: February 14th. Roz: Valentine's Day? I guess I won't be there. Roger and I are spending the whole day together. He says it's going to be full of romantic surprises. I mean, but he gives me, like, a romantic surprise every single day... Niles: [interrupting] Oh, well, I know girl talk when I hear it. Excuse me. He gets up from his chair. Daphne glares at him. Roz: Girl talk? He's the one going to a doll museum. Frasier has entered over the previous dialogue. He is now sitting nearer the window than Roz, Daphne, and Niles. Niles quickly approaches him. Niles: Forget your coffee. Let's get out of here. Frasier: What? And leave Daphne? Niles: It's too late for her. We have to keep moving. Frasier: Niles, I can't. I'm meeting Dad here in a few minutes. His schedule's been so topsy-turvy lately, I haven't seen him in days. Niles: [sitting] Is he still having trouble with his supervisor? Frasier: Well, yes, yes, but I believe we'll be hearing some good news on that front. No thanks to you. Niles: What does that mean? Frasier: Let's just say I took appropriate action. Niles: After Dad asked you to butt out? Frasier: I'm sorry, Niles, but if you had seen the way this man treated Dad, you would have done the same thing. Niles: Well, perhaps. A waiter brings Frasier's coffee. Frasier: Thank you. Niles: I just wonder if you're doing this for Dad or for yourself. Frasier: All right, what are you on about now? Niles: I just think it's telling that the whole thing bothers you a lot more than it bothers Dad. You can't stand to see him being bossed because to you he's always been this larger-than- life figure, and you're desperate to keep that image intact. More importantly, why is that man staring at us? We see a hulking man in a jacket and turtleneck sitting behind them and watching them. Frasier: That's Sanchez, my bodyguard. [Niles glances back at Sanchez.] It's only on a trial basis. It's a long story. Martin enters. Frasier: Dad! How are you doing? Martin: I'm mad as hell, that's how I'm doing! Sanchez rises. Frasier waves him down. Martin: I just got beeped. Rich wants me to work tonight. I'm going to have to cancel our dinner. Frasier: You haven't had a day off in a week! Martin: I know, but apparently he thinks I went over his head to complain about him, so now he's really turning up the heat. Niles: No kidding! [staring at Frasier] As if things weren't bad enough for you already, Dad. [Frasier glares at Niles.] Martin: I used to take a lot of pride in working through tough spots like this, but I don't know if it's worth it this time. Frasier: Dad, I'm so sorry. Martin: Oh, it's nobody's fault. I'm just getting too old for this sort of stuff. If he keeps up with it, I'm just going to call it quits. Frasier: Dad, that's a horrible idea. You can't run away from these kinds of problems. I mean, it only encourages the torment. [Martin begins to leave.] Where are you going? Martin: Oh, I'm going to grab a quick nap before my shift starts. Frasier: Well, I'm trying to help you decide what to do. Martin: I know, that's what reminded me to take a nap. [He leaves.] Niles: Well done, Frasier. Frasier: All right. My plan backfired. I guess there's only one option left. Niles: Tell Dad the truth. Frasier: All right, two options. [Niles looks at him expectantly.] I've got to go to the source this time and speak directly to Rich. Niles: Don't you ever learn? Frasier: He needs to know that Dad is not the one who complained about him. All right, I'll tell you what, Niles, why don't you come with me? The two of us can help him together. Niles: Forget it, you know how I feel about this. You're on your own. Daphne and Roz approach. Daphne: [to Niles] Good news, dear! Roz is going to join us for shopping today. Niles: Oh, no, I just promised Frasier I'd help him with something. Frasier nonverbally confirms this to Daphne. Roz: You know what Roger says is the most erotic organ? Daphne: [hopefully] The mind? Roz: [laughing] No! Roz leaves. Daphne follows, slugging Niles in the back as she goes. FADE OUT. IT'S CONFIRMED...THEY'RE IN THE CLOSET Scene 7 - The office building lobby. Frasier and Niles enter. Frasier: Well he's not even here! I can't believe this. I mean, after the way he came down on Dad for doing the very same thing. I tell you, Niles, I am not by nature a violent man, but I swear, if I have to, I will page Sanchez. Niles: [leading Frasier away] I think you need to calm down. Frasier: Yes, yes, you're right. I came here to talk to the man. Still the blood runs hot! Rich enters. Frasier: That's him! That's him! Rich approaches a man who is repairing the elevator. Rich: Let me ask you something. They pay you to fix the elevator or just spread your tools all over my lobby? [He kicks the toolbox.] You ever hear of putting down a drop cloth! Niles: You know, by letting Dad handle this himself, you'd be empowering him, and isn't that the greatest gift of all? Frasier: No, Niles, I came down here to stand up to that man. The time for running away has passed. [Martin's voice is heard.] Dad's here! Oh, God, we can't let him see us! Come on! They run into a supply closet and close the door. Martin: Hey, Rich. Rich: Hey, Crane, you're early. Martin: Yeah, I thought I'd get a head start on the checkpoints. Rich: Well, la-de-da. CUT TO: the closet, where Niles and Frasier are nervously standing. Niles: Great. Now what? Frasier: Well, Dad says he makes his rounds every 20 minutes. We'll just wait till the next one and then slip out then. CUT BACK to Rich and Martin. Rich: Oh, what's this? Martin: What's what? Rich: There's two guys in the storage room. [grabbing his club] Stay here! I'll take care of it. Martin: [looking at the monitor] No, No! Rich: Why not? Martin: Those are my kids. We see the image of Frasier and Niles on the monitor. Rich: Well, what the hell are they doing in the storage room? Martin: I don't know, but knowing them, they probably came down here to fight my battle for me. Rich: What battle? Martin: With you. They know we don't get along. Rich: Wait a minute! They wouldn't be the ones who complained about me, would they? Martin: Well, I wouldn't be surprised. They're always sticking their noses into my business. Rich: Sounds like my kid. He thinks just because I work for him he's my boss. [Martin shakes his head.] CUT TO: the closet. Niles: Can you hear anything? Frasier: No, but I guarantee you Rich is being a jerk. You know, I wish Dad would just tell this guy off. Niles: And that would make Dad feel better? Frasier: Oh, I don't know. But it'd make me feel a lot better. Niles: So, this is all about you. Frasier: To some extent. All right, to a great extent. It's just that all our lives, Dad's been the guy in charge. I just hate to see him powerless like this. Niles: Well, how can you call him powerless? The minute you saw him, you ran into a storage closet. Frasier: That's true. Niles: You're a grown man. You're still scared of him. Frasier: You're a grown man. You're still scared of him, too. Niles: Yeah, well, at least I have a girlfriend. Frasier: Shut up! Niles: [sniffing] Do you smell ammonia? Frasier: Yes. Niles: What is that? Frasier: [indicating] Ammonia. Niles sniffs and curls his lip in disgust. CUT BACK TO: Martin and Rich, who are now sitting amiably in conversation behind the desk. Martin: The thing fell 19 stories and landed right in front of me on the sidewalk. [N.B. For this story, see the episode [9.07]"Bla-Z-Boy," where Frasier accidentally sends Martin's chair crashing to the ground from the balcony.] Rich: [laughing] That's nothing. My kid ran over my foot while I was sweeping the driveway. [They both laugh.] Martin: You know, the scary thing is, that generation's going to be running the country one of these days. Rich: Not as long as I'm voting, Marty. Martin: Ain't that the truth. What are the geniuses doing now? They look at the monitor. Rich: One of them's down there trying to breathe through the crack under the door. We see Niles doing this on the monitor, and then CUT TO the closet itself. Frasier: Oh, for God's sake, Niles, get up, there's plenty of air! Niles slowly rises. Frasier's cell phone rings. Niles gestures to Frasier, who nervously answers the phone. Frasier: [in a strained whisper] Hello? Martin: Hey, Fras, it's me. Frasier: Dad, hi! CUT TO: Lobby Martin is holding out the receiver, and we see that Rich is listening to the conversation. Martin: Why are you whispering? Frasier: I'm in a very quiet restaurant. Yes, I'll have the pan- seared ahi with the ginger-mushroom cream sauce, and-and for a starter, I'd like the sesame-tempura string beans. Niles: [imitating a waiter] And for the lady? Frasier: Shut up! The two of them stand, at a loss what to do next. We CUT TO: Martin and Rich laughing hysterically. Frasier: Sorry about that, Dad! Martin: Oh, no problem! Frasier: So, Dad, when are you starting your rounds? Martin: I don't know. Let me ask. [to Rich] Uh, Rich, should I start my rounds now? Rich: [feigning anger] You'd like that, wouldn't you? You're staying here! Rich's outburst startles Frasier. He and Martin find all of this hysterical. Martin: Hear that, Fras? No rounds. Guess I'm just stuck here at the desk for five hours. Frasier: [crestfallen] Tough break. Martin: Well, I'll see you later. They hang up. Frasier shrugs his shoulders at Niles, who also has no solution for the problem. We FADE OUT on the view of them in the closet. END OF ACT 2 [SCENE_BREAK] Roz is engaged in a conversation at Café Nervosa. The latest victim of her rapturous ravings about Roger is Sanchez, the bodyguard, to whom she is showing pictures. Frasier is seated contentedly at a nearby table reading a book.

Plan: A: Frasier; Q: Who discovers that Rich is treating Martin badly? A: Martin; Q: Who gets stuck at the desk for five hours? A: Rich; Q: Who is Martin's supervisor? A: Rich's son; Q: Who is the owner of the security company? A: a bodyguard; Q: What does Frasier hire to ensure that his conversation with Rich's son remains confidential? A: a trial basis; Q: How long does Frasier hire a bodyguard for? A: a reprimand; Q: What does Rich receive from his son? A: Roz; Q: Who is always talking about Roger? A: Eventually Niles; Q: Who agrees to help Frasier solve the problem by confronting Rich? A: his brother's meddling; Q: What does Niles disapprove of in Martin's business? A: Martin's sight; Q: What did Niles and Frasier want to escape from in the janitors closet? A: security cameras; Q: How did Martin and Rich discover Niles and Frasier in the closet? A: a little good-matured ribbing; Q: What do Martin and Rich do when they find Niles and Frasier in the closet? A: their lives; Q: What do Martin and Rich think their kids are always meddling in? A: Guest voice; Q: Who is Andy Garcia? Summary: Frasier discovers that Martin's supervisor at work, Rich, is treating him badly, being unnecessarily bossy and disrespectful. It upsets Frasier to see his father in this situation, even though Martin insists that it does not bother him, because he respects the chain of command. Frasier decides to speak to the owner of the security company, who also happens to be Rich's son, and in order to ensure that their conversation remains confidential, he agrees to hire a bodyguard on a trial basis from the company. Unfortunately, this seems to do more harm than good, when Rich receives a reprimand from his son and assumes that Martin went over his head to complain. Meanwhile, Roz is boring everyone by talking endlessly about how well her relationship with Roger is going. It reaches the point where, no matter how obscure the topic of conversation, she can always turn it back to Roger. Eventually Niles, although he disapproves of his brother's meddling in Martin's business, agrees to help him solve the problem by confronting Rich, just to get away from listening to Roz. This backfires as they hide in the janitors closet to escape Martin's sight as they didn't want him to know. Martin and Rich discover them in the closet via security cameras and have a little good-matured ribbing about how their kids are always meddling in their lives. Martin gets back at Frasier and Niles for their meddling by calling them and, with Rich's help, gets "stuck" at the desk for five hours. Guest voice: Andy García

COLD OPEN. [EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. OMNI BUILDING LOBBY - NIGHT] (Through the glass, we see a yellow taxicab pull up to the curb. Chloe Davis gets out of the cab and walks up to the locked glass doors to the front of the building.) (Cameras pan down and we see that there's a security station just inside the lobby equipped with security cameras on the front doors, elevators and other entrance and exit points in the building. On the security station console, there's an open burger and fries - and no sign of the guard.) (Chloe Davis uses a key to get through the glass doors. She opens the doors and walks in. She walks past the security station without turning or acknowledging anyone, which leads us to believe that there's no one at the station. The glass doors close behind her.) (Through the monitors for CAMERA 3 and for CAMERA 4, we see Chloe Davis arrive at the elevators. She presses the button and leans heavily against the wall waiting for the elevators to arrive.) (Camera pans over to the monitor for CAMERA 2, inside the elevator. We hear the elevator bell ding and see the doors open on the monitor. Clearly, with a little too much to drink, Chloe Davis staggers into the elevator and presses the button for her floor. The elevator doors close.) (She turns and looks up directly into the security camera and fixes her hair. She rubs her fingertip against her lips and turns around to face the elevator door. The elevator doors open.) [INT. OMNI BUILDING - HALLWAY - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (Chloe Davis walks crookedly on her high-heeled shoes as she makes her way down the hallway to her apartment. She staggers through the hallway and reaches her apartment door. She tries unsuccessfully to get her key into the keyhole, but it's not working.) (Suddenly, the door to the apartment behind her opens. A naked woman runs out, bleeding and delirious. She collapses into Chloe Davis's arms.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OMNI BUILDING LOBBY - NIGHT -- LATER] [ON CHRISTINA HOLLIS] (The naked woman is on a gurney, fitted with a nasal cannula. Her hearing is unclear, her eyes dart from side to side and her tongue constantly licks her dry lips.) [EXT. OMNI BUILDING LOBBY - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (The paramedics wheel out the victim on the gurney to an ambulance waiting outside. Near the doorway, the woman in blue talks with an officer.) (The paramedics put the gurney in the back of the ambulance. Sofia Curtis walks up to Grissom and Catherine.) Sofia Curtis: Vic's name's Christina Hollis. She's a sales agent for the building. Neighbor said she just came running out of her unit, delirious and hysterical. Catherine: Sexual assault? Sofia Curtis: Definitely. I'm gonna go with her to the hospital, see if I can get a statement. Catherine: Thank you. (Sofia leaves them. Grissom and Catherine walk toward the building. As they head inside, Grissom notices the security cameras.) Grissom: Video cameras. That's good for us. Catherine: Vic probably thought it was good for her, too. (They walk into the building.) [INT. OMNI BUILDING LOBBY - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (As soon as they step inside, two men, one carrying a microphone and the other a camera, both step in their path.) Producer: Excuse me, hi, can you identify yourself for the camera, please? Just look right in the lens. ['LIVE' CAMERA POV] (Grissom isn't happy about his. Catherine looks as if she's recalling or thinking about what this means.) Grissom: What is this? (Grissom and Catherine walk across the lobby and head for the elevators.) Producer: (o.s.) It's a reality crime show. We're following you for this investigation. Sheriff promised full cooperation. Catherine: We got that memo. They're 'Hard Crime.' Producer: (o.s.) That's us-- we're the guys who put the folks who look in the microscopes under the microscopes. Catherine: Right. (They reach the elevators. The door opens. The officer standing next to the door holds it open for them.) Catherine: You see, it's good PR for the department. Try not to bust their chops, okay? Producer: (o.s.) You ever see the show? It's got a lot of forensics. Grissom: There's too many forensics shows on TV. (The elevator doors close.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OMNI BUILDING - HALLWAY OUTSIDE HOLLIS' APARTMENT -- NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (Grissom and Catherine walk through the hallway toward the room. Brass is waiting for them outside.) Brass: The doorknob, the frame, the strike plate are all clean. No sign of a forced entry. Grissom: So she might have known her assailant. Catherine: Either that or he talked his way in. (In the background behind them, we see the 'Hard Crime' camera crew turn the corner and head for the scene. Grissom and Catherine duck under the crime scene tape and enter the room. The camera crew tries to follow, but Brass stops them.) Brass: Hey, hey, hey. Stay behind the crime tape. (They stop, but the camera continues to be on Grissom and Catherine inside the apartment.) Producer: (o.s.) Don't cut. Did you get all that? (Grissom turns and comes into view of the bed. Catherine comes up right behind him. They both have their flashlights on.) [INT. HOLLIS' APARTMENT -- NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] [OFF GRISSOM AND CATHERINE] (Their eyes widen at the sight.) [ON BED] (The bed is rumpled and unmade. Restraints from the bedposts at the head of the bed are bloodied near the ends and on the sheets and pillows. More blood is on the center of the bed. Something horribly bad happened here.) Producer: (o.s.) (calls out) Mr. Grissom, can you please describe what you're seeing? (He doesn't look at them.) Grissom: A long night. FADE TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOSPITAL ROOM -- NIGHT] (Christina Hollis is on the stirrup table, propped up. Sofia Curtis stands next to her. Christina is still disoriented.) Christina Hollis: I don't understand. Why am I here? Sofia Curtis: Miss Hollis, you've been assaulted. Christina Hollis: Who ... ? I ... Sofia Curtis: You don't know who did this? (She shakes her head.) What was the last thing you remember? (She stops and tries to remember. She shakes her head.) Christina Hollis: I don't know. (She looks down at her wrists and sees that they're red, raw and partially bleeding from the restraints. Christina Hollis: Oh, my God. (She looks down at her legs, lifts up her hospital gown a little to expose her thighs and sees them red and bruised.) Christina Hollis: Oh, my God! (She looks down at her feet and sees them pedicured perfectly with her toenails painted red.) Christina Hollis: (panicking) Okay, this isn't right. Why isn't this right? Why don't I look right? Right ... This isn't -- Sofia Curtis: Christina, it's okay. Christina Hollis: No, it's not okay. It's not okay. Why don't I look right? I don't underst- ... (She looks up and beyond Sofia, she sees the cameras on her.) Christina Hollis: Why are they st- ... why are they staring at me? (hysterical) Stop looking at me! (Sofia quickly shuts the curtains closed.) Sofia Curtis: Nurse, get in here! (Christina dissolves into hysterical sobbing. Sofia grabs her and holds her tightly.) Sofia Curtis: (softly) It's okay. It's okay. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOSPITAL - HALLWAY - NIGHT -- LATER] (The cameraman turns the corner. The producer calls his attention and points down the hallway.) Producer: (o.s.) Hey. (At the end of the hallway, Sofia Curtis is talking with the nurse.) Nurse: I did a wet mount from a vaginal swab and got four-plus motile sperm present. Sofia Curtis: So she was raped within the last few hours. No condom means he's not in the system or he doesn't care if he gets caught. Nurse: Guys like this, they keep doing it. (Finished, Sofia turns to leave. The producer tries to catch her attention.) Producer: (o.s.) Excuse me, detective. Can I ask you a question? (She ignores him and continues walking down the hallway.) Producer: (o.s.) Detective. (Sofia looks back as she continues down the hallway.) Sofia Curtis: You try something like that again and you're gone. I don't a give a damn what the sheriff says. Producer: (o.s.) Look, we never put anyone on screen without a signed release. Sofia Curtis: You invaded her privacy at her most vulnerable moment. Producer: (o.s.) I am trying to give the crime a face. Sofia Curtis: Yeah, well, we're going to lose an hour waiting for her to calm down. That's on you. Producer: (o.s.) I apologize. It won't happen again. Look, can I just ask you what you've got there? (She stops and shows it to him.) Sofia Curtis: It's a sexual assault evidence kit and blood sample. I've seen date rape victims in similar dissociative states. We're going to run a tox screen, see if she was drugged. Producer: (o.s.) You were a CSI, right? Sofia Curtis: Yeah. Producer: And now you're a detective. So which side of the fence do you prefer? Sofia Curtis: It's the same side. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOLLIS APARTMENT -- NIGHT] (Grissom snaps photos of the bloodied restraints and the sheets.) (Quick flash to: Christina Hollis struggles on the bed, her wrists tied to the bedposts. She struggles against the restraints. End of flash.) (Grissom puts the camera down and looks at the bed. He slowly walks around the bed and takes a picture of the framed photo on the bedside table of the victim with blood spattered on the glass frame. He takes additional photos of the pictures on the table of the victim with an older woman.) (Catherine opens the closet and we see that Christina has a lot of high-heeled shoes. Catherine snaps a photo of the yoga mats on the closet floor. Catherine closes the closet door.) (Catherine walks up to the kitchen counter where there are candles burning. She snaps photos of the candles, the wax spilled out and melted on the counter top.) Catherine: Candles burned down. A bouquet in the trash. (She takes a photo of the bouquet in the trash bin next to the kitchen counter.) Catherine: Flowers and candles -- sure seems like a date. (She looks around and snaps more photos.) Grissom: Some date. (Grissom snaps a photo of a glittery substance in the blood on the bedsheet.) (Catherine walks over to another side table with a candle burning on it. She notices something.) Catherine: Got a void in the wax. (Sure enough, in the melted wax on the counter, there's a large block as if something were taken that used to be on the table when the wax melted.) (She snaps a photo of it and notices something else on the wooden floor. It's a yellow piece of material. She snaps photos of it and puts her camera aside to get the material.) (Meanwhile, Grissom notices something on the bed frame.) Grissom: Some kind of white flaky substance. (He takes a tape lift of it. Catherine joins him.) (He also sees a drop of something red and shiny on the bed frame.) Grissom: This looks like blood, but ... (He tries to take a swab sample of it and finds that it's dried and doesn't come off.) Catherine: I think it's nail polish. (She snaps a photo of it.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OMNI BUILDING LOBBY - SECURITY STATION -- NIGHT] (The security station monitor for CAMERA 8 shows a maintenance man working in the dark corridor in the basement. Brass walks up to him.) [INT. OMNI BUILDING - BASEMENT - NIGHT] (Brass walks up to the maintenance man as he works on the pipes.) Brass: Hey, how's it going? (The maintenance man turns and looks at Brass.) Brass: According to your supervisor, you were doing maintenance work on the 11th floor at 5:00 A.M. (The maintenance man notices the security camera in the corridor.) Brass: What were you fixing at 5:00 in the morning? Maintenance Man: I was just clocking a little overtime. Brass: Uh-huh. Maintenance Man: Management said they wanted a few extra coats of paint on three, seven and eleven. Got to keep everything nice and pretty for the tenants. Brass: You know, the security guy didn't see you on his camera. Why is that? Maintenance Man: Yeah, well, that guy doesn't see much. Service elevator's out. We have to use the stairs. God forbid the tenants ever have to look at one of us. Brass: You got a master key to all the apartments? Maintenance Man: Yeah. But we only go in if a tenant specifically asks us to fix something. Brass: You ever fix anything for Christina Hollis? Maintenance Man: Nope. Never. (Brass notices the roll of duct tape on the maintenance man's tool belt. He reaches out and removes the roll and looks at it.) Brass: You're running a little low on duct tape, my man. Maintenance Man: Yeah. It's holding up half the building. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - TRACE LAB] (Hodges looks at the duct tape through the scope. He writes on the clipboard when Nick walks in holding two evidence bags.) Nick: Two pieces of duct tape; both have been swabbed for DNA and fingerprinted. Grissom wants you to compare adhesives. He's looking for a match. ... Hodges: Okay. (nods cheerfully) That'll take a laser ablation test. That's good. (Hodges smiles and casually looks around.) Nick: (frowns) Why's that good? Hodges: Well, laser ablation is both visual and dramatic. Nick: Are you looking for the video crew right now? Hodges: I would think that they would be looking for me. Nick: Relax, man, the show's only an hour long. Laser ablation takes, like, six. Hodges: Yeah, but when they cut it together, it'll only take thirty seconds. (Nick smiles and nods. He turns and leaves.) (Hodges picks up the two evidence bags. He again glances around the area.) (Cut to: Hodges opens the evidence bag and removes the duct tape piece from it. He cuts a piece of the duct tape off.) (He again glances around the area.) (He puts the piece cut off into the machine and shuts the drawer-like door. He starts the machine and it whirrs. He moves to the monitor and starts the lasers.) (Quick CGI EFX: Camera zooms into the machine and shows the laser cutting an S-pattern from side-to-side on the piece of duct tape.) (The particles burned off the sample are sucked into the cylinder tube.) (End of CGI EFX. Resume to present.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- DAY] (Hodges reports his findings to Grissom.) Hodges: Ran laser ablation on the duct tape samples. (He hands the report to Grissom.) Not a match. Grissom: So she wasn't tied up with the maintenance man's tape. Hodges: (shakes his head) Mm-mm. Grissom: What about the rest of the trace? Hodges: White powder was primarily biological, so I kicked it back to DNA. It did contain some glassy particles. Might be industrial diamonds. Grissom: And the yellow reflective flakes? Hodges: My next priority. (They turn the corner and we hear the producer talking.) Producer: (o.s.) Okay, we're rolling. Go ahead. (He points and scoffs as they pass by the A/V Lab.) Hodges: That's a waste of film. (Hodges and Grissom walk out of camera frame. The camera lingers on Archie and Catherine in the A/V lab with the camera crew.) [INT. CSI - A/V LAB - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] Archie Johnson: The victim came out of her apartment around 5:00 A.M., so I've been working my way back from then. (Archie rewinds the video. The time clock is around the 10:34 hour.) Archie Johnson: In the previous seven hours, 37 people came and went from the 11th floor, 21 of them male. Catherine: So the assailant could be any one of them ... (Archie nods.) ... assuming that our guy didn't take the stairs which, of course, aren't monitored. (Archie shows a particular man stepping into the elevator.) Archie Johnson: Okay, now, here: This guy got off on the vic's floor at 10:32 P.M. There's no footage of him coming back down. And check this out. (He enlarges the flowers in the man's hands.) Catherine: He brought flowers. How romantic. Archie Johnson: But I don't think this was a first date. (Archie brings up another camera view of the front doors. The time clock reads 10:27 P.M. On the monitor, we see the man walk up to the building doors and use a key to get inside.) Archie Johnson: Guy had his own key. Catherine: So he could've been with the victim the whole night. (Archie nods.) Catherine: Pull the best image of his face you can, and get a printout to Brass. Archie Johnson: I'm on it. (Catherine stands up to leave. The producer stops her.) Producer: (o.s.) Ms. Willows, hold on a second. All you have is a guy's face. How do you figure out who he is? Catherine: Good question. (Catherine turns and leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Nick waits.) Producer: (o.s.) Guys, we're good to go. Speed. VOICE: (o.s.) Fine. (He clears his throat and waits.) Producer: (o.s.) So what have you found so far? Nick: I lifted two identifiable prints off the bouquet wrapper. Producer: (o.s.) How do you know they belong to the suspect? Nick: We don't, but one matched a print found on the duct tape, right here, used to tape up the victim. (He shows the photo of the duct tape.) Unfortunately, that print's not in our database. Producer: (o.s.) So your suspect doesn't have a record? Nick: Apparently not, no. Producer: (o.s.) Well, how do you find a guy who's not in the system? Nick: (chuckles) You just got to get creative, you know? I mean, the flowers ... (shows the flowers) ... came from a small shop off-strip. Took the suspect's image to the clerk, (Nick holds up the photo) ... showed it to him. He gave me a credit card receipt. From that receipt, I got a name. That name gave me a driver's license. (He holds up the DMV printout.) Dwight Reynolds. Police are bringing him in now. Producer: (o.s.) Great, okay. Clear and concise, thank you. (He breathes and relaxes.) Nick: Thanks. Yeah, well, we have to do it in court all the time. If you can't explain it to a jury, then the bad guy usually walks, and we don't like it when the bad guy walks. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY] (Sofia and Brass walk through the hallway on their way to the interview room.) Sofia Curtis: Unit picked him up at the double down. He was plastered. Brass: What'd he blow? Sofia Curtis: One nine. (They stop just outside the interview room.) Brass: That's almost enough to wash away your sins. Sofia Curtis: Well, we're going to have wait until he sobers up. Brass: No, no, let's not wait, let's move on this. I think we got a chance. Look, why don't you come in there with me, huh? Maybe pop a few buttons? (She chuckles.) Brass: No, seriously. See how he reacts. Sofia Curtis: If he tries too hard not to look, it could be a guilty conscience? Brass: Yeah, maybe, something like that. Sofia Curtis: If he is the guy, and we interview him now, anything he says could be thrown out of court. Brass: It's worth a try. What do you think, huh? (Smiling, Sofia undoes the top button of her blouse.) Sofia Curtis: Let's go. (They enter the interview room. The 'Hard Crime' cameras remain outside. The door closes.) [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -CONTINUOUS] (Brass and Sofia interview Dwight Reynolds.) Brass: How's it going? Dwight Reynolds: Okay. Brass: Did you know a Christina Hollis? Dwight Reynolds: Yeah, we used to date. Brass: You seen her recently? Dwight Reynolds: No. Brass: Then how come we found your prints on some flowers at her place? Dwight Reynolds: I dropped some flowers off ... but I didn't see her when I did. Brass: You had a key? Dwight Reynolds: Yeah. She likes me to come over sometimes, you know? Help her move stuff. (Sofia leans forward across the table.) [HARD CRIME CAMERA POV] (Sofia leans forward across the table; the camera lingers on her chest.) [RESUME BRASS] Brass: Oh, come on, what really happened, huh? You went over to move some stuff, and she wasn't in the mood, is that it? Dwight Reynolds: I told you -- I didn't see her. (Quick flashback to: [HALLWAY OUTSIDE CHRISTINA'S APARTMENT - NIGHT] Dwight takes out the keys and starts to unlock the door. He hears loud Barry White music coming from inside. He stops and throws the bouquet down on the hallway floor. He leaves.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Dwight Reynolds: She was playing Barry White. Everybody knows what that means. I guess it wasn't my night. Brass: You're lying! We found the flowers inside her apartment in the trash, and you didn't use the elevator to leave. Dwight Reynolds: I was pissed. I tried to walk it off. I figured eleven flights down, It's better than a cold shower. Sofia Curtis: Christina Hollis was tied up and brutally assaulted in her apartment last night. Dwight Reynolds: What? Brass: And you were there. Dwight Reynolds: Is she ... ? Sofia Curtis: She's alive and talking. Dwight Reynolds: Last night? The guy who with her was ... was doing that to her? (Quick flash to: [PEEPHOLE VIEW] Dwight Reynolds is standing in front of the door. He throws the flowers down on the floor and leaves. End of flash. Resume to present.) Dwight Reynolds: I could've stopped it. (Sofia and Brass glance at each other.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB - DAY] (Wendy Simms reports her findings to Catherine.) Wendy Simms: So the powder that you found on the bedroom floor was actually keratinized skin cells. They belong to the vic, and morphology suggests that they're probably from her cuticles. Catherine: Cuticles? Wendy Simms: Mm-hmm. Catherine: Nail polish, diamond particles ... maybe she was giving herself a mani and pedi before the assault. Wendy Simms: I don't know about you, but if I could afford to live in an apartment like that, I'd be in a spa every week. Catherine: Yeah, I hear you there. Thank you. Wendy Simms: Mm-hmm. (Catherine takes the results and leaves the lab. The camera crew follows her.) [INT. CSI - HALLWAY / GRISSOM'S OFFICE - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (Catherine catches up with Grissom and reports.) Catherine: Wendy ran the semen, no hits in CODIS. Grissom: Yeah, the, uh ... ex-boyfriend didn't match any of the prints on the duct tape, either. Catherine: SAE found oral, vaginal and a**l smears positive for semen. Degraded and intact sperm suggests multiple deposits. (They walk into his office and continue their conversation. The 'Hard Crime' camera crew remains outside in the hallway.) Grissom: Which means that he probably raped her on and off, for a long time. Catherine: Yeah, well, tox came back -- lorazepam in the vic's blood. Grissom: I didn't find any prescription bottles in her apartment. Catherine: No, nor did I. Lorazepam is a hypnotic sedative, and I know in high doses, it causes acute amnesia. Maybe that's what he was counting on to cover his tracks. Grissom: Well, it usually takes an hour for a drug like that to kick in. How did he subdue her in the meantime? Catherine: (shakes her head) Low-profile entry, sedatives, duct tape -- I mean, if he's not a serial, he will be soon. (Grissom glances back at the cameras outside.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - TRACE LAB -- DAY] (Hodges fixes his hair and his eyebrows. Sara walks in. Hodges smoothes out his eyebrows and checks his teeth. Sara startles him.) Sara: Hey, there, gorgeous. (Hodges turns around and casually looks around for the cameras.) Sara: I'm going to be running with the trace from the victim's apartment. Would you mind bringing me up to speed? Hodges: (nods) Certainly. (Hodges pauses, waiting for something. In the background, we see the camera crew turn the corner and head for the Trace Lab.) Sara: Take your time. (The camera crew rushes into the lab.) Producer: (o.s.) Did you page us? Hodges: Um ... (Hodges turns and looks away.) Sara: (shakes her head) No. Mm-mm. (Hodges opens the file folder and reports to Sara.) Hodges: According to the gas chromatograph mass spectrometer, the glossy red drop you found on the footboard was ... nail polish. Sara: Well, that's not unusual in a woman's apartment. Hodges: What is far more intriguing is the reflective yellow flakes. Follow me to the Fourier transform infrared microscope. Sara: (under her breath) Hodges, what's wrong with you? (Hodges shakes his head.) Hodges: Nothing. (Sara walks over to the scope.) Producer: (whispering) Guys ... stay with the girl. (Hodges leans in closer to her, where the camera has a nice angle on his face.) Hodges: As you can see, the flakes are fluorescent reflective lenses bonded to an aramid backing by a special polymer layer. And it's used exclusively in the reflective trim of firemen's turnouts. Sara: You're telling me there was a firefighter in the victim's bedroom. (Hodges ponders that thought.) Hodges: Hmm ... Sara: Thanks. (Sara turns to the camera.) Sara: Thanks, Hodges. (She turns to leave.) Hodges: Anytime. (The camera lingers on Hodges. He turns and looks through the scope.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. FIRE STATION -- DAY] (Brass and Sara talk with Captain Hendricks.) Captain Hendricks: Yeah, all right, okay, let 'em roll. (He waves over at the camera crew.) Captain Hendricks: But you're buying the lobster. Brass: Yeah, right. (The 'Hard Crime' camera moves in closer to the three.) Brass: (to Sara) See, one of the guys gets on TV, that guy has to buy lobster for the whole company, you know? (The Captain chuckles.) These guys eat well - - lobster thermidor! Check it out. (louder) So, according to dispatch, you responded to an alarm at the Omni condos last night? Captain Hendricks: Yeah, at 6:58 P.M. We were on scene in about four minutes. Three smoke bombs on three different floors, three pains in my ass. There's no major damage, just paint and wallpaper. We were there about a half hour. Sara: What'd the arson guys find? Captain Hendricks: They didn't find much. Uh, the smoke bombs were made out of soda cans. (He shrugs.) Kids, Internet, you do the math. It's all in your lab. Sara: Really? What for? Captain Hendricks: A couple guys from the day shift were gonna compare 'em to those bombs we found a couple of weeks ago. Brass: What are you talking about? Captain Hendricks: Apartment building over on Paradise. Smoke bombs started a fire, one woman died. We still don't have a suspect in that. (Sara thinks about it. She leaves Brass to continue to talk with Captain Hendricks and she moves over to the lockers and benches to check out the firemen's gear.) Brass: Were you on the scene? Captain Hendricks: I saw it after. Smoke bomb was too close to the wall, the whole place was ... Brass: Where was the woman who died? Captain Hendricks: Down the hall asleep. (Sara reaches down and checks the base color of the reflection material at the base of the fireman's yellow jacket.) Brass: Which of your guys were up on the 11th floor at the Omni? Captain Hendricks: I don't know. I'd have to ask around. Why? Brass: A woman was raped last night. Captain Hendricks: You think one of my guys did it? Brass: No. I'm not saying that, but we found some evidence that a fireman was near her bed. Captain Hendricks: You came here to accuse my guys of this in front of the camera? Brass: No, no, no. Settle down, settle down... Captain Hendricks: The hell I will. No wonder they call you Brass, because you really got a set. Brass: Aw, come on, Sparky ... (Sara returns.) Sara: Excuse me, gentlemen. Captain, uh, which of your guys ... wears a yellow reflective stripe on their turnouts? Captain Hendricks: Nobody; department's color is orange. Sara: The reflective flake we found in Christina Hollis' apartment was yellow. Captain Hendricks: Then you're not looking for a Las Vegas fireman. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - A/V LAB -- DAY] (Archie reports his findings to Catherine and Grissom.) Archie Johnson: According to surveillance, the victim came home at 6:19 P.M. And the firemen were in her building at approximately 7:00. They took the stairs, so we don't have them on this camera. Now take a look at this ... (Archie shows the video at 6:36 P.M.. On it, a fireman is pounding on one of the doors.) Catherine: Well, he certainly looks the part. Archie Johnson: He touched the door with his bare hands. Might get prints. Catherine: The time code says 6:36 P.M. But the alarm went out at 6:58. That's 22 minutes later. Archie Johnson: What kind of fireman comes before the fire? Grissom: Someone who knows it's coming. (beat) Producer: (o.s.) Uh, Mr. Grissom, we may have missed that. Could say it one more time for the camera? (Grissom turns and glares incredulously at the cameraman.) [SCENE_BREAK] (COMMERCIALS ET) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. OMNI BUILDING - PARKING -- DAY] (The janitor is talking with an officer. Greg is printing the garage door.) Producer: (o.s.) You ever hear the saying, "Only the dumb ones get caught?" Greg: Yeah ... but we catch the smart ones, too. And this guy's definitely smart. (Quick flash to: Someone places a lit soda can on the center of the hallway floor.) Greg: (V.O.) He lights smoke bombs on three different floors so as not to call attention to his target. (End of flash. Resume to present.) (Greg continues to print the door.) Greg: Victim sees the smoke, sees him, and opens the door. (Quick flashback to: The smoke bombs are smoking in the hallways. The fake fireman goes to the door and knocks.) "FIREMAN": Fire Department, open up. (Christina opens the door and the fireman bursts into her apartment.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Greg: I mean, who wouldn't trust a fireman, right? (Greg continues to print the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (Christina Hollis is in the interview room sipping from a coffee cup. Her wrists are wrapped up. Her interview with Sofia Curtis is being video recorded.) Sofia Curtis: It takes a lot of courage to do this. Christina Hollis: Thank you. Sofia Curtis: And if you change your mind about the camera, all you have to do is say so -- no one ever has to see this. Christina Hollis: No, I want him to see it. Sofia Curtis: He'll watch it in jail. Okay, so, you said you were beginning to remember what happened? Christina Hollis: Yeah, a little. Sofia Curtis: Can you tell me what he looked like? Christina Hollis: Um ... no, not really. It's mostly, uh ... just feelings. Sofia Curtis: Feelings. Of what? Christina Hollis: I know he raped me. (Quick flash of: Christina Hollis is tied and bound in her bed. End of flash.) Christina Hollis: What I remember most ... it was, um ... (Quick flash of: The person is touching her feet. End of flash.) Christina Hollis: (sniffles) He ... he kept ... he kept touching my feet. (She cries.) Christina Hollis: He kept touching my feet. (She covers her eyes as she cries.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- NIGHT] (Grissom and Catherine walk through the hallway.) Grissom: A foot fetish is a visual pathology. The suspect would have had to be close enough to the vic to see her toes and then get aroused. Catherine: We live in a desert, Gil. You want to see a woman's bare feet, all you have to do is look down. (They walk out of camera frame.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - EVIDENCE ROOM -- NIGHT] (Sara is going through the selection of firemen outfits on the Internet. Greg enters the room.) Greg: Door in the parking structure was like the arm of a slot machine: Smudge city. Sara: Anything useful from the janitor? Greg: Yeah, he gave us a full description. Said he looked like a fireman. Sara: Well, between eBay, uniform shops, and national manufacturers, there's about a hundred different places that you can buy yellow-striped turnouts. Greg: Maybe he was a fireman in another city. Sara: Maybe. Greg: What's that? Sara: When I was at the firehouse, all of the air tanks were rigged with the valves on the bottom, like this one. (She looks at a security photo.) But our guy ... his valve is on top. Greg: A real fireman probably wouldn't make that mistake. Sara: His airline isn't even rigged to his mask. It's rigged to a second mask on his side. Greg: Maybe he put something in the tank to subdue her. Sara: He used lorazepam. Greg: Eventually. But this guy was somehow able to get her from the door to the bed without a struggle. (He thinks about it.) I bet he used nitrous oxide. That stuff will knock you out real fast. (Quick flash to: [Christina's apartment] The door opens. The fireman steps inside and puts the gas mask over Christina's face. She struggles. He steps inside and the door closes behind him.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Greg: And it's undetectable in the blood after a few minutes. Pretty easy to come by. And it would explain the valve on top. It's liquid under pressure. It would spill if it were upside down. All you need is a driver's license and a deposit for the tank. If this guy bought nitrous from a local distributor, there's definitely a record. Sara: Check it out. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- NIGHT] (Warrick is alone and talking on the phone.) Warrick: (to phone) Come on, Tina. Like, I'm the only one working doubles here. (He listens.) Oh, so it's my fault that we have strange schedules. Great. Go out with your friends. (scoffs) I'm sure you'll be seeing Robert again tonight, too, huh? (Warrick notices the cameras entering the room behind him and he quickly ends the call.) Warrick: (to phone) You know what? It's fine. I got to go. Have a fun time. (He hangs up.) Producer: (o.s.) This a bad time? Warrick: No. Great time. What can I do for you? Producer: (o.s.) What are you working on? Warrick: I'm examining smoke bombs recovered from, uh ... the victim's condo, and comparing them to smoke bombs from an arson case a couple of weeks ago. Producer: (o.s.) How do you know which is which? I mean, how do you tell them apart? Warrick: Well, so far, I've only opened up one item from each case. CSIs, when we work a case, we take extensive notes at the scene, and photos of each item. And, uh ... they're very similar, I know. But, based on the construction and the components, I'd say these two bombs were made by the same person. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY] (Robbins is on a treadmill and talking with the producer on camera.) Producer: (o.s.) So I guess this is a slow day at the morgue. Robbins: You can't really predict this job. Today it's like this, tomorrow it's a bus accident. So I am here. (Grissom enters the room.) Grissom: Albert. Robbins: Yeah? Grissom: Did you find the blood sample I called you about? Robbins: Female arson fatality. COD is smoke inhalation. Partial tox came back carboxyhemoglobin and cyanide. Grissom: I need a test for lorazepam. Robbins: Blood's on its way to tox. Grissom: You recall any other sexual assault victims that tested positive for lorazepam? Robbins: Uh ... nothing comes to mind, but I'll check my files, confer with Toxicology. Grissom: Thanks. (Grissom leaves.) Robbins: Yeah. (to camera) A slow day is a good day. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - WAITING ROOM] (Inside the waiting room, there is a crowd of people. Outside in the hallway, Sofia talks with Sara.) Sofia Curtis: These people lived on the same floor as the female arson fatality from two weeks ago. Sara: Tox on the arson victim came back negative for lorazepam. So maybe she wasn't the target. (They both head into the waiting room.) Producer: (o.s.) Ms. Sidle, is this what you guys call a 'fishing expedition?' Sara: We call this 'following a lead.' Producer: (o.s.) Forgive me, but it's not very much of a lead. Sara: What's that supposed to mean? Producer: (o.s.) Well, this case is even colder than the one you're on. You'd almost be better off if you had a new rape victim and a fresh scene. Sara: That might be true, but that is definitely not the outcome that we're looking for. (Sara turns and heads into the waiting room. She walks up to a young woman and introduces herself.) Sara: Hi. I'm, uh, Sara Sidle. Maybe we could talk in here? [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- CONTINUOUS] (Sara talks with Stephanie.) Stephanie: I didn't really know the girl who died. I still can't believe what happened. It's just awful. Sara: Tell me what you remember. Stephanie: I was alone in my apartment Saturday night. Hello. What's new, right? I was reading or something. (Quick flashback to: [SATURDAY NIGHT] Someone pounds on the door to apartment Stephanie: (V.O.) And then, suddenly, there was someone pounding on my door. (Stephanie opens the door. She looks around and sees the smoke. Her eyes widen.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Sara: Can you describe what he looked like? Stephanie: Well, he was a fireman. I mean, he was wearing a mask. It all happened pretty quick. (Sara sighs.) Why? Sara: We're looking for a rapist who masquerades as a fireman. He uses smoke bombs to get his victims to open their doors. Stephanie: He knocked on my door. Are you saying you think he was going to rape me? Sara: It's possible. Stephanie: You know, I was pretty freaked. (Quick flash to: The walls are on fire. Stephanie takes a step to get out as well.) Stephanie: (V.O.) When he was standing there in front of me ... just before he left ... (End of flash. Resume to present.) Stephanie: ... I swear, for a second, it felt like he wasn't going to let me go. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM -- DAY] (Catherine, Sara and Greg meet to discuss the case.) Sara: Turnouts were a dead end. And there's nothing to track off of the smoke bombs. Greg: I've got hundreds of names of people who purchased nitrous oxide in the last six months. Catherine: What? You got to narrow that down. Greg: That is narrowed down. Catherine: Okay. Our rapist is a foot fetishist. That's what gets him off. He has to see his victim's feet somewhere. If we can figure out where, maybe we can find him. Greg: What do the victims have in common? (Catherine looks at the file folder.) Catherine: Christina Hollis. African American. Single. Lives and works at the Omni. She lives on the 11th floor, so there's no real way for a peeper to see in. And she uses the gym, but not the pool. Sara: Stephanie Daniels lives across town. Caucasian. Also single. No gym membership, but she does use the pool at her apartment complex regularly. There's a couple of adjacent buildings. It's possible that somebody could see into her place with a telescope, but she has shades and curtains. I kind of doubt it. Greg: So they have nothing in common. (Grissom walks in carrying a file folder.) Grissom: Sure, they do. They both have feet. We may have a third victim who may also be our first victim. Tara Weathers. Last month, she claimed she was drugged in a bar and woke up in her apartment with her toes freshly painted. They did a tox on her at the time. Found lorazepam in her system. (Catherine looks at the photo of feet.) Catherine: Well, she does have nice feet. And the nail polish looks like a similar shade to Christina Hollis'. Grissom: Yeah. So the pattern starts a month ago. Our guy drugs Tara Weathers in a bar, takes her to her apartment, paints her toes, leaves. Two weeks later, he steps it up. Sara: Poses as a firefighter, places smoke bombs in an apartment building, only things don't work out the way that he planned. The building catches fire, and he runs. Catherine: He waits a couple more weeks, he does it again, but this time he goes all the way. Grissom: Yeah. And now he's escalating. Greg: Where does he go from here? [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. TARA WEATHERS APARTMENT - HALLWAY -- DAY] (Tara Weathers opens her front door and finds Brass and Catherine standing there.) Brass: Tara Weathers? I'm Jim Brass, Las Vegas Police. This is Catherine Willows from the Crime Lab. Tara Weathers: What do you want? Brass: Well, we're here to ask you about the incident you reported to the police last month. Tara Weathers: The nail polish thing? Brass: Yeah, the nail polish thing. Tara Weathers: You guys said I should consider myself lucky, that there was no real crime anyway. Catherine: Well, we may have be wrong about that. Tara Weathers: I knew it, that's what I tried to tell you the first time. (She lets them inside.) (Inside, they talk with her.) Brass: The guy who drugged you is a rapist and a murderer, and we're looking to stop him before he does it again. Tara Weathers: Are you serious? Catherine: Very. We're trying to understand what you have in common with the other victims that might lead us to him. Brass: Now he has a foot fetish. He's into feet. Is there any way that he could've ... seen your feet? Tara Weathers: (shakes her head) Um ... I - I ... I don't know. Catherine: Where do you buy your shoes? Tara Weathers: All over. Brass: Do you go to a gym? Tara Weathers: No, not really. Catherine: Pool? Tara Weathers: No, never. I burn easily. I'm a legal secretary, I don't get out much. My work starts early and it goes late. The firm is so conservative, we're not even allowed to wear open-toed shoes. (Catherine sees the yoga mat.) Catherine: I notice that you do yoga. Tara Weathers: Yeah. Catherine: Where? Tara Weathers: Out on the balcony. It's practically the only fresh air I get. (Catherine turns and looks out the balcony at the apartments around the area.) Catherine: Anybody in those apartments has a clear view of her bare feet. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. BUILDING - HALLWAY -- DAY] (Catherine and Brass run through the hallway. The 'Hard Copy' producer and camera follow.) Producer: (o.s.) So how'd you get the warrant? Catherine: The tenant's name was on the nitrous oxide list. (They stop at Richard McQueen's apartment door. There are other officers there and the manager with the key.) Brass: (loud) Las Vegas Police. Open up, we have a warrant. Open up, police. (There's no answer.) Brass: (to the manager) Open it. (The manager uses the key and opens the door. He quickly steps aside. The officers and Brass enter the apartment.) Producer: (o.s.) Let's go. (Catherine stops the camera from following.) Catherine: No, no, no, you're not going in there, no. (He hands her a flashlight.) Producer: (o.s.) Well, will you take this cam-light in, it's a flashlight camera. It'll record anything you point it at. (Catherine takes the flashlight-cam.) Producer: Thanks. (Officer Akers exits the apartment.) Officer Akers: All clear. Catherine: Okay, thanks. (Catherine enters the apartment.) Producer: (o.s.) Okay, you get any of this? Zoom in. Zoom in. (The producer holds the hand monitor and we see the image on the small screen. Camera zooms in close to the monitor screen.) (On the monitor, Catherine makes her way over to Brass.) Brass: Perfect view of Tara's balcony. (Inside the apartment, Catherine finds yoga class flyers on the counter.) Catherine: Yoga flyers from all over town. (Next to it on the counter is an open manicure-pedicure kit.) Catherine: Guy's got everything he needs for a pedicure. (On the monitor, we see posters and pictures of women and their feet hanging on the walls.) (Catherine walks over to Brass.) Brass: Hey, check this out. God bless the Internet. (On the wall, Brass stands in front of a bulletin board with pictures pinned to it. Catherine shines her flashlight on the pictures of women in exercise outfits with focus on their feet and women wearing high-heeled shoes. Photos upon photos of feet and toes and shoes.) (Catherine rolls her eyes, turns and continues looking through the apartment.) (Catherine and Brass walk into the next room. On the wall is a large poster of women's shoes. On the table, Brass finds bomb-making paraphernalia. On the floor next to the table is a case for a 'Breathing Air Unit'.) Brass: Fireman's air tank case. (He opens the case and finds it empty.) Brass: Where's the tank? (Catherine puts on some gloves.) (Brass takes out his phone and makes a call.) Brass: (to phone) Yeah, this is Brass. I want to put a broadcast out on Richard McQueen. That's M-C-Q-U-E-E-N. Dispatch: (from phone) McQueen copy that, we'll put it on the wire. (On the table, Catherine finds a video camera. She lifts it up and finds candle wax stuck to the bottom of the camera.) Catherine: Candle wax on the camera. (She puts the camera down and flips it on.) (The image of Richard McQueen giving Christina Hollis a pedicure fills the screen. She is tied to the bed.) (Catherine picks up the flashlight camera and shines it on the digital video camera.) (On the monitor, Richard McQueen turns and looks at the camera.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. BUILDING -- DAY] (Officer cars stop in front of the building. Brass gets out and runs past the fire engines to get inside. The camera crew follow him.) (They run inside the building.) [INT. BUILDING - DAY] (Off screen we hear someone grunt and a loud voice.) Voice: Stay down! Stay down! (Brass and other officers run through the smoke-filled corridor toward the commotion.) Brass: Las Vegas PD! (We hear the sounds of fists hitting flesh. All we see is smoke.) Brass: Las Vegas PD! Break it up! Break it up! (The officers arrive and pull a couple of firemen off a man on the floor.) Brass: What the hell's going on here? Captain Hendricks: Smoke bombs. We caught this creep sneaking away. My guys tried to stop him. Richard McQueen: She wouldn't let me touch her feet. Brass: Get him out of here. (The officer pulls Richard McQueen away. Captain Hendricks points into the apartment.) Captain Hendricks: You should see what he did? (Brass rushes into the apartment. He passes several men in the living room heaving deeply, appalled by whatever they've seen in the bedroom.) (Brass enters the bedroom and leans against the door frame at the sight of the young dead woman, naked and bound to the bed. The gas mask is still on her face, her eyes wide open and staring off to the side.) (Brass stands at the base of the bed and shakes his head.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY/ FORENSIC AUTOPSY] (Doc Robbins puts on his gloves as he talks to the camera.) Robbins: Women are four times more likely than men to be the victims of a sex-related murder. And men are ten times more likely than women to be the murderer. It's just the way it is. (He pushes the doors open and enters the morgue. Inside, the young woman is on the table. He takes a knife and starts the Y-incision.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LOCKER ROOM -- NIGHT] (Catherine is putting her things away and getting ready to go home. The producer sits nearby watching.) Producer: (o.s.) Is that your daughter? Catherine: Oh, yeah, these are old pictures. She's a teenager now. Producer: (o.s.) With all the things you see on this job, do you ever worry about her? Catherine: Are you kidding? I keep a vial of her blood in my freezer. Producer: (o.s.) Like as a DNA sample in case you need to identify her? Catherine: Well ... one thing you learn doing this job is that bad things happen to people who never expect it ... every day. (Catherine turns and leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY -- NIGHT] (With chains around his wrists and ankles, Richard McQueen is escorted away. He turns around and looks back at the camera.) (Brass talks with the camera.) Brass: Yeah, we got a confession. He didn't choose women's feet, women's feet chose him. He lit candles, he played music, he thought he was on a date. Producer: (o.s.) But did he explain, you know, why he did it? Brass: Oh, yeah. Oh, sure. His mother was a hooker, she put him under the bed when she did her business, her feet dangled over the edge of the bed. He watched her feet;they were perfect. You know, I don't know if it's true. Producer: (o.s.) What about the fireman thing? Brass: I don't know, I guess he wanted to be a fireman when he grew up. Didn't you? Look, juries love explanations; they want it nice and neat. They don't want to know we live in a random world; they want meaning. It's that simple. Producer: (o.s.) So how do you cope with a day like today? What do you do? Brass: What do you want me to tell you, that I go home, I get drunk, I go to a bar, I stay out all night, I don't sleep ... huh? That's not the truth. You know what happens? I take care of myself; I sleep very well. Producer: (o.s.) How well did you sleep after you learned you killed that fellow officer in that shootout last year? Brass: (angry) Uh, yeah. Oh, is this ... is that ... oh, is this what this is about? Who've you been talking to, huh? What, you come here with your camera and you roll a little film and ... what, you think you know what it's like to be a cop? You? You're all done. You're all done with this. Get out of here. (Brass turns and leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY TO GRISSOM'S OFFICE - NIGHT] (Grissom walks through the hallway on his way back to his office. The cameras follow him.) Grissom: The truth is if there isn't any evidence, we have nowhere to go. Producer: (o.s.) So you feel you did the best you could? Grissom: Yes, I do. Producer: (o.s.) Do you think forensic shows are just teaching the criminals how to get away with crimes? Grissom: Everyone learns from science. It all depends on how you use the knowledge. (Grissom enters his office and closes the door behind him.) Producer: (o.s.) Keep going, go inside for a close-up. (Camera moves in close to the door and holds on Grissom, who takes a seat behind his desk and continues working.)

Plan: A: The team; Q: Who is followed by a reality TV crew? A: a reality TV crew; Q: Who follows the team as they investigate the rape of a real estate agent? A: the building; Q: Where was the video surveillance system installed? A: flowers; Q: What did the suspect leave at the victims door? A: forensics; Q: What clears the suspect? A: Suspicion; Q: What does the possibility that the perpetrator is a fireman cause? Summary: The team is followed by a reality TV crew as it investigates the vicious rape of a real estate agent. Thanks to a video surveillance system, suspicion falls on someone taped entering the building and leaving flowers at the victims door, but forensics clears him. Suspicion then falls on the possibility that the perpetrator is a fireman when they find trace evidence of a fireman's uniform

VERONICA VOICEOVER: Previously on Veronica Mars ... Duncan Kane. His billionaire software, Jake Kane. He used to be my boyfriend. Then one day ... Accompanied by various scenes: Duncan Kane walks towards camera; Veronica watches from her table; flashback to Duncan and Veronica kissing as they walk; Lilly and Veronica washing a car. LILLY: I've got a secret. A good one. The Kane residence the night of Lilly's murder. VERONICA: Duncan, what happened! Where's Lilly? Veronica sees the body; school. LOGAN: Does your dad still think that Lilly's father did this? That's Duncan's sister, your friend? VERONICA VOICEOVER: My dad's belief that Jake Kane was the murderer became a moot point. An emergency recall election removed him from office. A month after Dad lost his job, Mom split for good. It's been eight months since I've seen my mother. Accompanied by various scenes: interrogation room with Keith and Jake Kane; Keith's carrying his stuff out of the Sheriff's Department; Lianne and Keith arguing; Veronica overhearing; Lianne's letter to Veronica. End Previously. The scene opens with the head of the busy school. BOY # 1: [Offscreen] Sarah Kramer. Camera reveals three boys watching her from one of the tables. BOY # 2: You are gay. The girl's a model. BOY # 1: She's in my class BOY # 3: Yeah, she's cute in a Hilary Duff meet with the gallery of Teen People kind of way. She's not hot. Boy # 2 spots Veronica and gestures in her direction. BOY # 2: Her. BOY # 1: Who, Veronica Mars? BOY # 2: Yeah. She comes into the video store. BOY # 3: Do you know her dad's a private detective? BOY # 2: Seriously? BOY # 3: No, in a movie. Yes, seriously and she works with him. Eight and a half, that's my final offer. BOY # 2: Dude. S-she's that smokin 'and a private eye? That's gotta make her at least a nine. Troy runs to catch up to Veronica as she continues along. TROY: Guess what I'm doing this weekend. VERONICA: I'm guessing it involves autoeroticism. TROY: Close. I will be cruising the marina in my dad's Saber 386. That's a luxury sailboat. You know, wind through my hair, Strokes blasting through the speakers and, with any luck, a wide-eyed impressionable vixen by my side. VERONICA: Printable, me? Ha. TROY: Wo-wo-wo-whoa. I said 'impressionable'. Not-not you. You know, you might want to check your ego at the door there, missy. Troy walks on leaving Veronica standing. She looks after him, smiling, until a student collides into her, knocking her files out of her arms and rushing on. VERONICA: Thanks, man. As Veronica picks up her stuff, Duncan bends down to help. He is dark and says nothing as he stands up and walks on with Logan. VERONICA VOICEOVER: The weird thing about going to school with your ex is they're inescapable. Everywhere you turn, there they are. New scene: Duncan floats in a pool, sunglasses and iPod equipped. He gently paddles to "No Blue Sky" by the Thorns SONG: Cold outside But I do not blame the weather No one's calling No one's at the door But I can not stay inside all day Blinds pulled to the floor ... JAKE KANE: [Blocking Duncan's sun from the side of the pool] It's a beautiful day, huh? A beautiful lazy day. Are you gonna get off that raft anytime soon? Duncan languidly removes his iPod earpiece and stares impassively up at his father. DUNCAN: What? JAKE: [Pacing the edge of the pool] Listen, I was, uh, I was thinking about next summer. And my friend, Ron Curtis, he's an advisor for Senator Rake in Washington. Now, he's got an internship that is opening in his office. I think you should write him a letter and you should express your interest in politics. You could, uh, you could tell him about it, you can tell him about it, you know what you mean, you know what you did for Schwarzenegger ... Jake's words drift away Duncan disinterestedly replaces his earpiece. SONG: ... But the sun never looked so pretty down ... Cut to the exterior of the Mars' apartment block. It's late. KEITH: [Offscreen] So I got a call from your Guidance Counselor today ... Cut to inside. Keith and Veronica are eating supper. KEITH: ... and she wants to see me. Any idea what for? VERONICA: Nope. KEITH: Have you been playing nice with the other children? VERONICA: You know, Dad, I'm Old School. An eye for an eye. KEITH: I think that's actually Old Testament. VERONICA: Hm. KEITH: Come on. No help? You're not gonna give me any idea of ​​what to expect? VERONICA: Honestly I have not a clue. Can I ask you a question? Keith nods. VERONICA: What do you think Mom was doing the Camelot motel with Jake Kane two weeks ago. He sags. KEITH: I told you to stay away from that case. VERONICA: I just do not understand. She's only in Arizona. Why-have not you been looking for hermetically KEITH: Veronica. Please. Veronica stares at her father upset. She gives up and attempts to lighten the mood. VERONICA: How 'bout those Padres? It does not work. Keith wordlessly collects his plate and leaves a thoughtful Veronica at the table. Kane residence at the table. JAKE: You know, I just want to see him passionate about something. CELESTE: As long as it's something you're passionate about. JAKE: No. Anything. You know, he's not going to get a good deal. CELESTE: I think we could be a little more patient, Jake. JAKE: We all lost Lilly and we all miss her. But that does not mean we stop living our lives. Throughout, Duncan takes no interest in the conversation, stares dumbly down to his plate and plays aimlessly with his food. Cut back to Keith and Veronica in their modest kitchen. Things are still a little strained. KEITH: Got any more liquid soap? VERONICA: Check underneath the sink. I'm gonna go to the library, okay? Do not wait up. Veronica kisses her father on the cheek and leaves. Back at the Kane's, Duncan rises from the table. CELESTE: Where are you going, sweetie? DUNCAN: Just over to Shelley's. CELESTE: OK. Well please be back before 11. It's school tomorrow. Duncan acknowledges with a brief nod and leaves. Cut to the blue screen of a flashback. Veronica and Duncan are going hot and heavy in the back of a car. However, Veronica does not have long hair and both are wearing the same clothes as in the above scenes. Cut to Veronica abruptly sitting up in bed, panting heavily from her dream. Opening credits. Scene opens on the inside of a video store A brunette woman approaches with a video and is served by Boy # 2 from the teaser. She hands him a DVD. WOMAN: Excellent recommendation as always. Thank you. BOY # 2: Oh yeah. Kevin Spacey is so amazing in this. And you should check out "Body Heat". An older assistant boy slaps # 2 on the chest with a couple of DVDs. ASSISTANT: These are late. WOMAN: Buh-bye. BOY # 2: See ya. VERONICA: [Offscreen] Rent it if you want to rent it. I'm just saying, I'm not gonna watch it. Veronica comes into view, following Keith and pauses at the counter as Keith moves on. VERONICA: [To Boy # 2] There's only a lot of things going on in this girl. "Slapshot", you know what? I'm saying? BOY # 2: So, um, is it true? VERONICA: That's what it says on the sign. BOY # 2: And you work with him? VERONICA: Sometimes. BOY # 2: Can I talk to you about something? VERONICA: Sure. BOY # 2: It's kinda private. VERONICA: [Looking around the store] Find me at school tomorrow. BOY # 2: OK. KEITH: [Coming to the counter] I got "The Cowboys" too, just in case we need a backup. Veronica gestures behind Keith to Boy # 2 Keith has checked out this movie. Cut to the Kane kitchen. Duncan takes a container of milk from the fridge and drinks from it. CELESTE: Duncan? This is me reminding you to take your pill. Darling, there's absolutely no shame in taking anti-depressants. I do not know anyone who has not used them at some point in their lives. I know it's been rough since your sister died. More you've only been on them for what? Six months. Just give them a little more time. Duncan juggles the tablet standing over the sink. Unseen by Celeste, the tablet drops down the plug hole. CELESTE: Oh, will you be home for dinner? DUNCAN: Yeah, sure thing, Mom. CELESTE: Good. Celeste leaves as Duncan stares down into the sink. Cut to the busy school hallway. Veronica stops as someone cuts in front of her and looks around. She sees Duncan at his locker with Logan. Everyone speeds past her as she pauses in reverie. Eventually, Troy bumps into her. TROY: Oh hey. What's going on? VERONICA: Let's go out. TROY: Finally! The girl comes to her senses. They move on Duncan and Logan come up from behind them. LOGAN: Hey, did you hook up with Shelley last night? DUNCAN: Uh, she's a talker. She's a talker, you know. Turns out she has conflicted feelings towards her new step-mom and the color scheme the woman's chosen for the family rec LOGAN: I hate it when they talk. DUNCAN: Yeah, I know it. LOGAN: [Tronic and Veronica spotting talking by the lockers] Hey, have you noticed that the new kid in town has, uh, been all over your ex-trailer-park? DUNCAN: Let it be, Logan. LOGAN: OK, nowhere man, you're the fool on the hill. See if I care. [On Duncan's sudden pale sweatiness] Dude, you do not look so hot. Duncan does a hang on gesture and rushes away. Logan looks back over at Veronica. Cut to the bathroom. Duncan splashes water on his face. He looks at himself and seems to find an unbidden clarity. Logan is smirking over one of Duncan's notebooks as he waits and puts back Duncan's bag as Duncan comes out of the bathroom and joins him. LOGAN: You okay? DUNCAN: Never better. LOGAN: OK. [On Veronica dragging Boy # 2 in the girls' restroom] That girl is seriously whack. Duncan shakes his head in bemusement and the scene shifts to Veronica and the boy. Veronica checks to make sure they are alone. BOY # 2: I do not think VERONICA: You wanna talk? BOY # 2: Uh, yeah. Do you think you could find someone for me? VERONICA: Who? BOY # 2: M-my father. He ran out about ten years ago and has not heard from him since. VERONICA: Sounds like a winner. Are you sure you wanna find him? BOY # 2: Well, yeah ... Veronica races to the door to a couple of girls trying to enter. She shuts the door on them and shoves a wedge under the door with her foot. BOY # 2: ... but mainly I just gotta know what happened to him, you know? VERONICA: Why now? Why did not you look for him before? BOY # 2: Well ... um ... my mom got laid off a couple months ago aa-and she's working these two really crappy jobs and I'm working too. And we barely get by. VERONICA: What can you tell me about him? BOY # 2: Well I have not seen him since I was about six or so. VERONICA: OK, can you get me a picture? BOY # 2: Mom destroyed them all. VERONICA: Last known address. BOY # 2: I was born in LA so we lived there 'til I was about two. VERONICA: Can you get your hands on your social security number? BOY # 2: Ummm, no. VERONICA: Date of birth? BOY # 2: Nuh-uh. VERONICA: All right, the name. Can we manage that? BOY # 2: It's John. Smith. Cut to the school office area. A woman approaches Keith. COUNSELOR: [Shaking hands] Mr Mars, hi. Thank you for coming in. KEITH: Miss James, yeah. I was a little surprised by your call. MISS JAMES: Oh, I do not want you to worry. Veronica's an excellent student. [Leading him into her office] I think she's amazing. She's got a great mind. KEITH: So what exactly am I here? MISS JAMES: Um ... [closing the door] ... well we've noticed a dramatic change over the last year. She's late, she's late, a lot, she had attitude with some teachers, she falls asleep in class and socially, she seems to be a bit isolated. KEITH: Yeah. Yeah, she's gone through a rough year. MISS JAMES: I know. I know how close she was with Lilly Kane. KEITH: I'd say Veronica's doing pretty well given the circumstances. Where are you going with all this? MISS JAMES: Look, if you find this difficult and many single fathers of daughters do, I would be more than happy to KEITH: [Prickly] No, no. I can handle it, thank you for the heads up. MISS JAMES: Anytime. Keith leaves. Cut to the Kane's dinner table. This time, Duncan follows his parents bickering as if it were a tennis match. JAKE: A life coach? [Laughs mockingly] CELESTE: Did not we just have a discussion about our lack of focus? JAKE: Oh no, you're-you're right. Let's get him an astrologist, too. Maybe aa past life consultant. [Amusing himself no end] Throw in a Pilates coach. If yours can free up some time. DUNCAN: [Reason for your glasses everyone, I'd like to make a toast. [His parents are surprised by this sudden show of animation] To Molly. JAKE: Molly? W-who's Molly? CELESTE: Our old dog, the lab. DUNCAN: Yes, sweet old Molly, God rest her soul, but boy could that dog catch a frisbee. Huh! If only she had the good sense in our flower beds, she'd still be with us. CELESTE: Duncan! Honey, it's been six years. When are you going to let this go? I'm sure she was in a very happy home. DUNCAN: To Molly! The best friend has a boy could have. Duncan drinks, slams his glass down on the table and walks out. BOY # 3: [Offscreen] Are you going to study group later? Cut to Nepturne High School. The boy from the video store and one of the others from the teaser walk across the grounds. BOY # 2: Owen, dude, I can not. I'm gonna hook up with Veronica Mars. OWEN: Yeah, and I'm going parasailing with Halle Berry. BOY # 2: No, I'm serious. She's working this case for me. She's gonna help me find my missing dad. OWEN: Correct me if I'm wrong, did not you like it, like, seven years ago? BOY # 2: Well, then, I guess it's gonna take her long time to find him. Oh yeah. He smiles back at an impressed Owen as he moves on. Cut to Mars Investigations. Veronica is at the desk in the office and Wallace is stuffing envelopes on the other side of the desk. Veronica is recording a message as Keith enters the office. VERONICA: [Into the phone] Hello. You've reached the administration office of the Stamford summer program. [Sign in to leave a comment] Wallace stands and turns to face Keith who looks for a moment and holds his hand. KEITH: Keith Mars. WALLACE: [Shaking hands manfully] Hi, Sir. Wallace Fennel. VERONICA: [Boastfully] Wallace is a friend of mine. [Performs a martial arts finishing gesture with her hands] Take that, High School Guidance Counselor. KEITH: Well, hello Wallace. Now what's going on here? VERONICA: Helping a kid at school in his deadbeat dad, the somewhat inconveniently named John Smith. But I have narrowed the field down to 440 John Smiths. So I'm sending each of them a letter addressed to his congratulating him on his scholarship and I figure it out to John Smith. got the wrong address. KEITH: Part of me is proud ... and let's just leave it at that. VERONICA: Oh, I used one of the dedicated phone lines. I hope that's all right. We're gonna trace all the calls that come in. KEITH: [To Wallace] So how did she rope you into this? WALLACE: She promised me all the keys to- [off Veronica's warning look] She's promised to be my friend. KEITH: I'd've held out for a better offer. [Veronica grins] I'll be in my office. [Disappears Into His office and shuts the door] VERONICA: [Quietly] Hey would you do me a favor? WALLACE: Why did not all the hair on the back of my neck just stick up? VERONICA: It's not that big of a deal, just ... the next time you're in the Administration Office, could you borrow my permanent file? I want to see what counsellor is telling Dad. WALLACE: Oh yeah, no big deal. I can get expelled for that. Veronica sweaters face and Wallace nods resignedly. CELESTE: [Offscreen] Morning, darling. Cut to the family kitchen. Celeste Duncan kisses. CELESTE: The pill's on the counter. N'oubliez pas. DUNCAN: Great. Thanks. CELESTE: [Heading out of the kitchen] Sophia? Duncan takes the tablet and the glass of water and the mother talks to the maid, Duncan deliberately drops the tablet into the sink. CELESTE: [To Sophia] I'll be out for a few hours. While I'm gone, I'd like to take out- Cut to Neptune High. WALLACE: Did you call your geometry teacher a jackass? VERONICA: That's totally taken out of context. Let me see it. WALLACE: [Holding it away] Ah-ah-ah-ah. Hold up, grabby. I'm discovering a whole new side of you. Damn, Miss Applebaum loved her some Veronica Mars. [Reading] "Veronica Mars is a complete angel and a joy in class every day". VERONICA: [As they sit on a low wall] Mrs Applebaum? That file goes to the second grade? In the background, Boy # 2, sitting at a table, turns and sees them and heads towards them. WALLACE: Kindergarten. [Looking at the file again] Awww, sweet. You wrote your teacher a poem. VERONICA: OK, yes, I was a kiss-ass. You've gone out now I can not see it? As Boy # 2 on them, hides the file under his jacket. BOY # 2: So, uh, any leads yet? VERONICA: We should know something by next week. BOY # 2: Oh, h-hey, I've got something for you. [Digging into his bag] I just burned a few songs for you. [Handing over a CD] It has the new 311 on there. VERONICA: Thanks. BOY # 2: Wel-, you know, I just thought you were a stakeout or something, yeah, okay, later. Justin leaves, Wallace laughs and Veronica casts him a doleful look. WALLACE: He brought you a mixed tape. VERONICA: Shut up. Hey, do me a favor. WALLACE: Please be kidding. VERONICA: Get me his file. Cut to Troy and Veronica at a restaurant. TROY: So we get the idea to make it onto America's Funniest Home Videos with this fake shark plan. VERONICA: Oh my god, I remember that. That was you? TROY: The plan was to cut off the dorsal fin, nail it to a board, strap the board to my back and have me swim around the public beach. And Duncan's gonna stand on the shore and videotape the mob scene. But it never happens. I'm swimming out there for like, 15 minutes. No one even notices. VERONICA: [Laughing] You guys were idiots. TROY: Yes. Yes, we were. Finally, lifeguard, he spots me. The clod pulls out a rifle. OK, lucky for me Duncan spots him. He goes sprinting towards the lifeguard tower. He was bawling his eyes out, I might add. So, h-he's running, he's shouting, he's saying 'no, no-no, do not shoot, that's my friend, that's my friend'. [Pause] Saved my life. VERONICA: [Wryly] That's one way of looking at it. TROY: [Of the muzak playing in the background] I'm kinda-I'm kind of tired of this song. [Bangs his fist on the mini-jukebox on the table to no effect] I would have expected s*x had that worked. VERONICA: Had that worked, you would have gotten it. Try it again. TROY: [Looking around] Check! Veronica giggles. Cut to them walking along a walk. TROY: Let me see your phone. Veronica hands it over. Troy keys. VERONICA: What are you doing? TROY: It is now booty call enabled. VERONICA: In case I need a little late night action? TROY: Action. Investment advice. Whatever. He hands her back her phone as they reach her car. TROY: So ... [Moving in] VERONICA: I should really get home. I'd invite you to go to school and go to school. He says he can look into a guy's eyes and tell his true intentions which I know sounds like a myth, but I- As Louque's "Art" starts up, Troy bends down to cut her off with a kiss. Veronica flinches back. TROY: Aah, o-kay then. Troy gently takes her hand for a soft handshake. TROY: [Doing a flourished bow] And good night to you, ma'am. Troy opens the door for Veronica and closes it behind her. He nods his head and walks back to his own car. Veronica watches regretfully. SONG: Heading down and I'd run. Taking all with soul Life Delay, thesis vacancies Eee-ooo ... Cut to Veronica sneaking into the apartment, unsuccessfully as Keith HAS Waited up for her. KEITH: How was your date? VERONICA: Aah, you know. Lousy conversation but the s*x was fantastic. KEITH: That's not funny. SONG: I'm drowning ... VERONICA: I do not know. I'm pretty sure it was. SONG: ... Keep running, keep running Your time's coming- The music cuts with Veronica closing the door as she walks into her bedroom. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Brain? Check. Dead sexy? Check. Devilish charm? Check. Great scrabble opponent? Who cares? [Falling onto her bed] What's wrong with you, Veronica? What are you waiting for? Cut to another scene of present-day Veronica and Duncan making out in a car. They sink below the bottom of the screen. DUNCAN: Veronica. The girl jerks the couple back into view. It is still Duncan, but the girl is not Veronica. SHELLEY: [Offended] What did you just call me? DUNCAN: [Thinking hard] Uhhh ... Duncan does not hide that he finds the situation hilarious. Cut to Neptune High. Wallace approaches with a file as Veronica closes her locker. WALLACE: Justin's permanent file. [Handing it over] You might want to take a look at that. VERONICA: Why, is it going to self-destruct in five seconds? Veronica reads and looks at Wallace in disbelief. Cut to outside. Justin, Owen and the other boy are at one of the tables. Veronica steps up to them. VERONICA: I need to talk to Justin. [Off the looks of the other two] Alone. They slink away. JUSTIN: See'ya guys. VERONICA: [Placing a sheet of paper in front of him] Explain this. JUSTIN: My evaluation from the first grade? VERONICA: Yeah. Read it to me. JUSTIN: "Justin shows talent in his finger-painting and other arts and crafts projects." VERONICA: Further down. JUSTIN: "This behavior is not surprising in the light of his ... father's recent death." [Sheepishly] Whoops. VERONICA: [Pissed off] Everything you told me was a lie, Justin. You wereted my time. That drives me crazy. And you owe me $ 150 in postage. SCHOOL OFFICE WORKER: [Offscreen] Excuse me. [Coming into view] Are you Justin Smith? JUSTIN: [Standing] Yeah? SCHOOL OFFICE WORKER: [Handling over an envelope] This came for you. JUSTIN: Thanks. [Opening it] It's the, uh, scholarship letter that you feel out. And there's a note. [Handling it to Veronica and sinking down into his seat] I-it's from my father. They stare at each other. SONG: I should not have to ... Keith knocks and enters. KEITH: Someone to see you. VERONICA: Describe this someone. KEITH: White male, pint-sized, desperate and not having a good day. SONG: ... All I need is ... Veronica rolls her eyes but gets up. Cut to Justin, outside the front door of the Mars' apartment. JUSTIN: Hey. So ... II bicycled all over here. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. VERONICA: You could have saved it 'til tomorrow. JUSTIN: So, aah, I showed my mom his letter. She got all mad. Made me promise to try and find my dad. Veronica is leaning against the edge of the open door of the apartment. Keith can be seen inside, within earshot. VERONICA: So he really is alive. JUSTIN: My mom said I was actually better off this way. Thinking he was dead. VERONICA: Maybe you were. Keith raises his head in concern at this. JUSTIN: I mean, I have a dad somewhere out there in the world. How can I not find and find out what happened to him? It would kill me. VERONICA: [Relenting] Let me see the letter again. Veronica takes the letter. Cut to a computer screen bearing the title "The Invisible Eye.Net Worldwide Investigation Services". The name 'John Smith' is being entered into a Multi-Database Search. VERONICA VOICEOVER: The letter Justin received from his long-lost dad bore in San Diego postmark. Of the 440 John Smiths out there, only three were in San Diego. Veronica is in her room, on the laptop. There is a soft knock at the door. VERONICA: Come in. KEITH: [Quietly] Hey. Could not help but overhear. VERONICA: Yeah, sorry. KEITH: No, it's not that. It's just that I never want you to think your mom's the villain in all this. VERONICA: Is not she? KEITH: No, it's not that simple. VERONICA: Yeah it is. The hero is the one who stays and the villain is the one that splits. KEITH: I do not think that's a healthy prospect. VERONICA: It's healthier than me pining away every day praying she'll come home. Keith can not think of what to say and leaves. VERONICA VOICEOVER: The truth was I'd figured out exactly where my mother was staying. [On the laptop, Veronica matches the plate to an address] But I was not sure about that. She writes it down on a post-it and pins it to her board. It reads: "304 Paraket Lane, Phoenix Az 85207". VERONICA: [Offscreen] Wait up. Cut to Neptune High. Veronica runs to catch up with Troy. TROY: Do not run Veronica, people might think that you're desperate. VERONICA: That would be a step up, reputation wise. TROY: I guess you're asking. They head off in the same direction as a couple of rushing lacrosse players. Cut to the lacrosse field where a driving game is in play, then to the bleachers where Duncan, Logan and six other 09ers are watching and whooping. DUNCAN: Go Padres. There are more shouts and much laughing and clapping. LOGAN: [To Duncan] Hey, uh, I thought your boy toy was going to join us for Happy Hour this afternoon. [Opening the flask] You do not suppose that, uh, he got waylaid by Veronica, do you? Duncan whips round abruptly and grabs the flask. Logan shoots up and for a moment, it looks like it could get nasty as Duncan squares up to a wary Logan. Then Duncan raises his eyebrows, waves his head and adopts a Hollywood Chinese accent. DUNCAN: Ooooh, Grasshopper too slow for Kung-Fu Master. If you can take the flask out of my hand then you will be ... [as Logan lunges for him] ... new master. They wrestle. BLONDE 09ER: Let's do it, man. Meanwhile, the Blonde 09er and another get up and move offscreen. Duncan frees himself from Logan and holds short on a higher step. DUNCAN: Wait, wait, wait. Guys! Check it out guys. Six guys. Bleachers. Jump in when you're feeling this, okay? [Singing, badly] Summer loving had me blast. LOGAN: [Amongst the laughter] What has gotten into you man? BLONDE 09ER: Hey, check it out. The others look over to see the non-blonde 09er climb onto the side of the bleachers, with the help of Blonde 09er, and backwards flip off. They race to the railings. The boy has fallen on the floor and is unhurt. Various impressed comments of congratulations are made. The others head back to where they were sitting for Duncan, who spots Troy and Veronica walking along the side of the stand. He watches. VERONICA: I think I might have given you the wrong impression. I had a really great time. I just ... LOGAN: It's just that you need more, a) time, b) space- Veronica cuts with a kiss. Duncan turns away and heads back to Logan, waiting for him on the bleachers. He hands Logan back his flask then spins round and with a war-cry, he races for the edge. He hand-stands on the rail and falls. He falls more than the other 09er and he he hits the mats, he bounces off and rolls hard across the ground. Veronica breaks off her kiss and races over. Troy follows. Logan races to the edge to look down just as Veronica gets to Duncan who, in a bad continuity moment, is now just under the matting. The 09ers join Logan and keep up their good spirits. LOGAN: [Laughing] You okay man? What was that, a triple klutz? Veronica is on her knees, Duncan's head holding, Troy stands by them. DUNCAN: [Cheerily to Veronica, who looks at the blood on his hand from his head] Hey. [Laughs] VERONICA: He needs to go to the hospital. LOGAN: Hey Duncan, open your mouth. This will help. Logan opens the hip flash and sprinkles out its contents. They splash Veronica who is unimpressed. She and Troy get Duncan up and carry him to the shouts of the drunken 09ers. Cut to the car park. Duncan is now pressing a white towel to the back of his head. TROY: Death defying stunts. Gushing head wound. [Duncan laughs] You're the man, brother. DUNCAN: [As Troy gets into Veronica's car] And, I almost stuck the landing. Veronica gets into the driver's seat as Troy leans over into the car. "Edge of the Ocean" by Ivy starts up. TROY: You sure do not want some help? VERONICA: No. Thanks. I got it. [To Duncan, impatiently] Put your seatbelt on. And hold the towel tighter. Troy accepts that he is no match for Veronica's attention and steps back as she pulls out. They drive out. SONG: There's a place I dream about where the sun goes and the sky is deep and blue Will they drive, Veronica steals a glance at Duncan. He looks up at the sky, removes the bloody towel and turns his head to gaze at her. DUNCAN: Remember how things used to be. VERONICA VOICEOVER: You mean between us? Or before Lilly died? Or two weeks ago before your friend took an interest in me? DUNCAN: Veronica? VERONICA: [Snapping] Not really no. He looks at her a little surprised. He puts the towel back on his head again and they drive on in silence. SONG: ... Ohhh, we can begin again. Shed our skin, let the sun shine in. At the edge of the ocean We can start over again ... Cut to an examination room. NURSE: Do you want your girlfriend to stay in here with you? VERONICA: Oh, I'm not his girlfriend- DUNCAN: Yeah, yeah that's cool. They share a tender look. JAKE: [Offscreen] Why, here you are. As the nurse walks out, Jake walks in, pleased to see his son. He is not so pleased to see Veronica. JAKE: [Sighs] Veronica. We meet again. VERONICA: What are the odds? DUNCAN: Veronica brought me in. JAKE: Thank you Veronica. [Dismissively] I think I can handle it from here. VERONICA: OK, II have ... stuff to do anyway, so ... Jake looks at the head wound, Duncan nods and Veronica heads for the door. She looks back and they share another comradely look before she goes. JAKE: Jeez. Off to bleach. Cut to x-ray pictures being put on a wall light box by a doctor. DOCTOR: Well, everything is fine. There's no fractures. Nothing that, uh, a few stitches will not fix. JAKE: II still do not understand how this happened, Duncan. What possessed you to jump off a set of bleachers? DUNCAN: Dad? Can I talk with Dr. Levine for a minute? By myself? JAKE: All right. Jake exits. Cut to Veronica driving. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Of the 440 John Smiths out there, only three were in San Diego. My mission: find and photograph them. Of course, Justin had not seen his father since he was six. There was no guarantee he could ID him. VERONICA: [On the phone] Hey, are you sure you do not have any pictures of your dad? Cut to Justin at the video store. JUSTIN: III do not think so. My mom cut him out of all of them. The brunette woman Justin served before the counter. JUSTIN: Aim, um, I could take a look. WOMAN: Excuse me? JUSTIN: Um, can I call you back? VERONICA: Yeah, just bring me back whatever you have. JUSTIN: Bye. WOMAN: Last time I was in you mentioned "Body Heat". Do you have that on DVD? JUSTIN: [Checking a computer] Looks like I'd have to special order it. WOMAN: All right. Sounds good. [SCENE_BREAK] Cut back to Duncan and Dr Levine. DR LEVINE: Ultimately, it's your decision. And you should do what's right for you. But, uh, I have to warn you. Going cold turkey off anti-depressants can have some serious side-effects. I mean you're likely to feel nauseous ... DUNCAN: Yeah. Plenty of that. DR. LEVINE: It's also possible that you're getting hallucinations and, uh, particularly vivid dreams. And this can go on for weeks. Some people find that unnerving. DUNCAN: It's worth it. Cut to Neptune High. Miss James opens her office door to Keith Mars. KEITH: Hey. MISS JAMES: Hi! KEITH: Hey, thanks for making time to see me. Keith fully enters and closes the door. KEITH: I owe you an apology. I ... was ... abrupt and, uh, defensive the other day ... MISS JAMES: Well, we have a defensive parent scale of one to ten, I'd say three so, do not worry about it. KEITH: And you were right. I think-I think Veronica does not know who I am. MISS JAMES: I would be happy to talk to her. KEITH: Thank you. MISS JAMES: Yeah. [On her phone ringing and Keith just starting to say something else] I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, would you-would you mind? KEITH: Sure, yeah. MISS JAMES: Can you hang on? I'm gonna take this. As she picks up the handset, the coffee on her desks tips on the floor spilling its contents. MISS JAMES: Ooh, aah, hi, yeah, okay, can I call you right back? Fine. Keith has moved to his side of the desk having some tissue to clear the mess. He notes the logo on the cup as he hands it back to her. KEITH: I got it, I got it. MISS JAMES: Oh, thank you, thank you so much. I'm a coffee addict. KEITH: Thanks again. MISS JAMES: Sure. Keith goes to leave. She stops at the door. MISS JAMES: Sheriff Mars? You always had my vote. They smile. Veronica, Wallace and Justin sitting on a wall. VERONICA: ... picked up the John Smiths at their home addresses and followed them I got decent shots. Here's the first one. [Cut to the three of them] He's a veterinarian and married. [Passes Justin a photo] And there's a swingset in the back so I'm guessing he's got kids. JUSTIN: [Passing it back] No, that's definitely not him. VERONICA: OK. John Smith number two. Single and High School Basketball coaches. [Hands photos to Justin] JUSTIN: No it's not him. Mom always turns off the radio when they play "Brown Eyed Handsome Man" because it reminds her of Dad. And these guy's eyes are green. [Giving them back] It's not him. VERONICA: Finally, John Smith number three. Veronica puts the photographs in his hands. The first shows a tall, close shaven man. The next is a closer side profile, still with sunglasses. JUSTIN: Yeah, th-that could be him. Do you have any pictures with-without the sunglasses? VERONICA: [Shaking her head] He had them on the whole time. JUSTIN: So, what does this guy do? VERONICA: I follow him from the junkyard to the pawnshop to the racetrack. WALLACE: Sweet. VERONICA: My best guess would be petty criminal. JUSTIN: Well ... can we go back there? I mean, I know if I could see him up close, I could ID him. VERONICA: I do not think so. JUSTIN: Come on. One way or the other I'd know. WALLACE: Give the kid a break. VERONICA: All right, fine. Meet me at my after school But remember. I'm the one in charge and you'll do it. WALLACE: You should have seen her before charming school. JUSTIN: I promised. Wait, hey, III brought you the best pictures I have of Dad. In this one you can actually see his hand. Cut to two photos, one of a couple in the same couple. In each, the head of the man has been cut out. VERONICA: [Offscreen] Wow. Your mom really hated him, did not she. JUSTIN: Yeah. VERONICA: Cool cars. JUSTIN: Mom says he was obsessed with them. Hey, what did John Smith three drive? VERONICA: A convertible Sebring. JUSTIN: [Disappointed] Oh. All right, I'll see you guys after school. Cut to John Smith Three in his car, stopped at traffic lights. Veronica and Justin are in the car but one behind him. VERONICA: That's right, right in front of the Honda. JUSTIN: There he goes. You're gonna lose him. VERONICA: I'm not gonna lose him. John Smith Three pulls up in the parking Lot of an Adult Arcade. Veronica pulls up on the opposite side of the road. VERONICA: Lay low and try to look too conspicuous. Veronica takes a long look at the camera and starts to take pictures of the world. Justin can not wait and bolts out of the car. VERONICA: Hey! Justin breeds towards John Smith Three. Veronica, John Smith Three's car. JUSTIN: Excuse me, excuse me. Hey! The man turns, moves his sunglasses down his nose, exposes his eyes and looks down on Justin. JOHN SMITH THREE: You need something, bro? JUSTIN: No. I'm sorry. I just thought you were somebody else. The man stares hard at Justin, then at Veronica. He turns and goes on his way. JUSTIN: It's not him. Dang. Veronica spots a shopping list on a post-it on the dashboard of the man's car. She grabs it. JUSTIN: Wh-what are you doing? VERONICA: Let me see the letter again. Justin pulls out of his pocket, unfolds it and gives it to Veronica. She places the post-it on top of the letter and compares the writing. VERONICA: It's the exact same handwriting. Justin looks and they stare wordlessly at each other. Cut to the Kane home. Duncan is sprawled on a sofa in a den, watching a large screen television. LILLY: [Offscreen] Yo, bro. How can you watch this crap. It could not be more boring. Lilly appears, blood on her head. LILLY: [Touching the blood] Oh, what the hell. DUNCAN: [Disbelieving] Lilly? LILLY: Yeah, what, you forgot about me already? DUNCAN: W-wh-what are you- Lilly falls on Duncan's shoulder. LILLY: Hey, you know what makes absolutely no sense. My disappearance. Murder. Whatever. How it supposedly went down. So bogus, right? [Sitting up] And here's the thing. The truth is gonna come out. DUNCAN: What are you talking about? LILLY: Clue in, donut. It does not add up. You know that deep down inside. I wish you'd just admit it to yourself. Break out of your stupor. Wake up. The camera spins from Lilly to a napping Duncan who jerks himself awake. He stands and looks around, somewhat panicked. Cut to John Smith Three exiting his car and entering the gate of a small house. Veronica and Justin pull up to the opposite side of the road. Justin explores the glove compartment. JUSTIN: What's this? VERONICA: It's a taser ... and it's dangerous. Put it back. JUSTIN: I'm coming with you. VERONICA: No, I need you to stay in the car. Cut to Veronica checking out the gate, going through and breaking into the garage where a car is undercover. VERONICA: Hmmm. A classic car perhaps? [On removing the cover] A Hyundai Sonata? I do not think it qualifies as a classic. The door from the house is open and Veronica is busted by John Smith Three, carrying a baseball bat. JOHN SMITH THREE: What the hell are you doing? Stay right there. I'm calling the police. VERONICA: You're not gonna do that. I followed you and I know what you do. JOHN SMITH THREE: What I do? I'm a word officer. VERONICA: What? JOHN SMITH THREE: Why would you be following me? VERONICA: I'm a friend of your son's. He just wants to see you. JOHN SMITH THREE: I do not have a sound. Do not move. VERONICA: Are you trying to tell me you're not John Smith? He whips round and stares at Veronica. Cut to Justin waiting impatiently in the car. He sees a green convertible pull up next to John Smith. He runs towards the house. Back in the garage, Veronica and the man at the turn of the automated garage door opening. They see the green because just as Justin runs reaches it. It's the brunette woman from the video store. WOMAN: Justin. Justin looks from the woman to Veronica and back to the woman. JUSTIN: Dad? The woman nods. Veronica and John Smith Three slowly walk towards them. The woman is now out of the car and the scene has changed from day to day. JUSTIN: [Upset] Oh my god. You're a woman. I do not believe this, WOMAN: This is hard, I know. I wish I could have found a way to tell you. JUSTIN: And did you also know that I was e-eleven? WOMAN: No. I'm not surprised. Your mother is thinking she would say that. JUSTIN: And your little visits to the video store? What's that all about, huh? WOMAN: I went to see you. Can you understand that? I wanted to see for myself that you were all right. JUSTIN: Well, I'm not actually, okay? [Her face crumples at her son's distress] I'm not. Turns out my mom's a liar and my father i-is a circus freak. VERONICA: Justin. Maybe we should go. WOMAN: Oh this is something I had to do. This ... is who I am. JUSTIN: [Crying] Come on Veronica. Let's get out of here. [He runs off] VERONICA: [Awkwardly] It was nice meeting everyone. Veronica follows Justin and the woman seeks the comfort of John Smith Three. Cut to Veronica's heading to Neptune. Justin is still crying. VERONICA: Ninety miles. JUSTIN: What's ninety miles? VERONICA: It's the distance you've been to every few seconds. [Long pause] Look, my mom has been missing too much and honestly, I would give you something to do that. Cut to Lianne 's address on Veronica' s board. VERONICA VOICEOVER: She was not going to find me. I was gonna have to find her. I've decided to drive to Arizona after school. If the roads are clear I can make it there in four hours. [Collecting her things together] Tragedy blows through your life like a tornado, uprooting everything, creating chaos. You wait for the dust to settle and then you thing. Over the instrumental parts of Supreme Beings of Leisure's "Rock and a Hard Place," cut to Duncan who ponders his tablet before swallowing it. VERONICA VOICEOVER: You can live in the wreckage and pretend it's still the mansion you remember. Cut to Veronica in the school hallway. She smiles fondly at the Duncan approaching. VERONICA: [Softly] Hey, how's your head? Duncan stares at her unsmilingly for a moment. DUNCAN: [Lifelessly] It's better. He walks on. His answer disappoints both Veronica and Logan who is walking behind him. Cut to Keith in the coffee shop that provided Miss James' coffee. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Or you can crawl from the rubble and slowly rebuild. KEITH: Hi. MISS JAMES: Hey, I did not know you came here. KEITH: Yeah, I just discovered this place. MISS JAMES: Yeah, me too. KEITH: Oh, how did we miss each other? They laugh together. Cut to Jason at the video store. ASSISTANT: Hey Justin, did you special order "Body Heat" for someone? Here it is. VERONICA VOICEOVER: Because after disaster, the important thing is that you move on. JUSTIN: Right. [Cut to him on the phone] Hello? ... Julia? ... It's Justin. Hey, listen. That copy of "Body Heat" you wanted to come in ... No it's fine ... Yeah, I work here every Saturday ... That's great. OK ... I'll see you then. Bye. [He hangs up] Cut to Veronica in her car. VERONICA VOICEOVER: But if you're like me, you just keep chasing the storm. She sees Lianne's car parked in the car of a small house. She turns the corner and sees the back of a blond woman, gardening. VERONICA: Mom? Mom? [Racing out of the car] Mom! She turns. It's not Lianne. Veronica stops short. BLONDE WOMAN: Can I help you? VERONICA: I'm looking for Lianne Mars. BLONDE WOMAN: Veronica? I'm Adrianna, a college friend of your mom's. I feel like I know you. Your mother talks about you all the time. VERONICA: Where is she? ADRIANNA: She left a couple of weeks ago. VERONICA: Well, did she say where she was going? ADRIANNA: No. VERONICA: Do not lie to me. [Getting very distressed] I need to know, where is she? ADRIANNA: She's thinking about your father, I'm not good at keeping secrets. VERONICA: Does not she care about me? ADRIANNA: You're all she cares about. VERONICA: Mark me down as skeptical. Veronica leaves. The music is "What Are You Afraid Of?" by West Indian Girl. VERONICA VOICEOVER: The problem with chasing the storm. Even the experts agree. A girl needs closure. Veronica is on the hat of her mobile phone. SONG: I lost myself ... VERONICA: Hi. I'm outside your house. A light goes on Veronica laughs. SONG: ... inside someone else I could not see the lines between her and me We 've got darker road, the fear I've seen With eyes of stone, he walks alone. Troy comes out of the house and stands before her. TROY: It's about time. Veronica, crying, holds for dear life. SONG: What are you? What are you made of? End.

Plan: A: his father; Q: Who does a student hire Veronica to find? A: Veronica and Troy's relationship; Q: What relationship deepens? A: Keith; Q: Who meets Veronica's guidance counselor? A: Rebecca James; Q: Who is Veronica's guidance counselor? A: her mother; Q: Who does Veronica begin looking for? A: hallucinates; Q: What happens to Duncan when he stops taking his antidepressants? A: her secret; Q: What does Duncan's sister Lilly tell him will be revealed? Summary: A student hires Veronica to find his father, whom he believes is dead. Veronica and Troy's relationship deepens, Keith meets Veronica's guidance counselor, Rebecca James, and Veronica begins looking for her mother. Duncan temporarily stops taking his antidepressants, and hallucinates about his dead sister, Lilly, telling him that her secret will be revealed.

Opening scene - Ryan & Marissa are outside of the Cohen house, they have just gotten out of Marissa's car Marissa: alright so maybe next time we go see a movie it won't be a three hour period piece about boats Ryan: there called ships and I liked it Marissa: I don't know Russell Crowe he just doesn't do anything for me, I mean people say he's good looking...but I don't see it Ryan: I've never really thought about it Marissa: hey, only one more day left in 2003 (smiles) Ryan: (smiling) its ben a good year Marissa: yes my parents got divorced my dad went bankrupt...and I OD'ed Ryan: I meant...for me Marissa: (smiles) I know, I can't wait to celebrate the New Year...with you (kisses him) so what'd you wanna do I heard about some party that's over- Ryan: (concerned) maybe you should take it easy (sighs) after what happened at Christmas Marissa: what happened at Christmas?...it's all kind of a blur actually (Ryan looks at her worried) kidding!(laughs) Ryan: funny, I thought we could hang here y'know maybe rent a couple Russell Crowe movies (they both laugh then kiss) stay in...so I know you'll be safe (Marissa smiles and kisses him, then hugs him) Marissa: (sighs)...I love you (Ryan is stunned) (stops hugging him and clears throat) I mean Ryan: uh Marissa: I-I-I didn't mean I (sighs) Ryan: ...thankyou Marissa: (suprised) uh your welcome...I um... midnight curfew (gets into her car, Ryan leans in to give her a kiss on the cheek and hits his head on the car. he rubs his head, and she reverses out looking like she cant believe what just happened) (Ryan is now in the pool house by himself) Ryan: (sighs and leans again the wall) (softly) I love you I love you how hard is that to say (Hailey comes out of his bathroom in a singlet & underwear, brushing her teeth) Hailey: saying it's easy, meaning it, that's the hard part (throws toothbrush on the bench) who the hell are you? Ryan: (shocked) i-ts a long story, who the hell are you Hailey: it doesn't work that way dude, it's my pool house Ryan: actually dude it's my pool house Hailey: (pulling at the singlet) so this is yours (folds arms) you want it back Ryan: I got plenty thanks (they both stare at each other) your Kirsten's sister Hailey right Hailey: so you've heard of me, I guess Kirsten remembers I actually do exist Ryan: well she didn't say you were coming Hailey: she doesn't know I'm here...look we'll get it all sorted out over breakfast (throws him his pillow) the living room couch is pretty comfortable (Ryan gives in and goes to leave) Hailey: oh and love you too (makes a cutesy face at him) (Ryan leaves and slams the door) Theme Song - California by Phantom Planet Cohen house - Seth comes down stairs and discovers Ryan on the couch Seth: hey, what's up man what happen to you, lady kick you to the curb Ryan: (waking up) pool house was occupied, your aunt Seth: Hailey's here? Ryan: yeah sh- Seth: awesome (walks off) CUT TO: Cohen kitchen - Sandy & Kirsten are doing a cross word puzzle together & Seth comes in Sandy: alright nine across seven letter word for Seth: whoa seperate seats you guys come on there's no s*x in the champagne room Kirsten: good morning to you to Seth: morning, where's Hailey? Kirsten: (clueless) I don't know Thailand, Morocco Sandy: I think she's planting trees in Tacoma Kirsten: ah Costa Rica building churches Sandy: I think that was (?) and they were hospitals Seth: she's in the pool house (they both look at him) Kirsten: what're you talking about? Seth: did you not notice Ryan sleeping on the couch (Ryan comes in) Ryan: (yawning) your sisters here Kirsten: (stands) w-w-w wait wait wait you-you saw her you were talking to her or uh... did she say why she was here Sandy: I have two guesses, either she's run outta or she's run outta money Seth: three letter word for hillarious dad (points at him) write that down, she is probably outta money though Kirsten: (touching her forehead) Hailey's here (laughs) (Hailey comes to the door wearing the exact thing she was last night. singlet & underwear) Hailey: hey guys, guess whose back Sandy: h-hello Hailey Seth: (laughing) aunt Hailey later when you're dressed we'll hug Kirsten: Seth robe - her - now Seth: (giving his robe to Hailey) there you are Hailey: (putting it on) happy New Year everyone Seth: happy New Year to you Kirsten: hi (Sandy waves with 2 fingers. Seth & Hailey hug) Kirsten: we would of come and picked you up (hugs her) at the airport or the train station Sandy: or the border Hailey: yeah well it was late an my cell phone got shut off Sandy: when you ran outta money (Hailey laughs) Kirsten: so your gonna stay with us...for some time Hailey: (shrugs) hmm Kirsten: I'm gonna make up the guest bedroom (to Sandy) bedding sheets now hmm Sandy: (getting up) married seventeen years the first things that go are the full sentences, welcome back (hugs Hailey) Hailey: thanks (to Seth) looking good (?) Seth Seth: thankyou, puberty happened Hailey: pff its ben that long? Seth: it sure has, be glad you missed it! oh check this out though (pulls his shirt down to show a bit of his chest) Hailey: (looks) oooh chest hair (Seth winks and makes a 'yeah' motion with his fist) and a new friend Seth: yeah that's Ryan he's um...he's kind of a long story Hailey: uh-huh so now that your a man what are the New Years Eve plans, got any girls to kiss Seth: well I had two an uh now I have...none but its cool cause I uh I swore off women Hailey: right Seth: I took myself off the market I'm gonna do whatever Ryan & Marissa do (Ryan looks up) Hailey: Marissa, is that the short chick next door Seth: no puberty happened (makes a tall motion with his hand) she's a laker Hailey: well it sounds to me like Ryan & Marissa won't be doing much (teasing) cause'a three little words Ryan couldn't say...where's the frosted flakes? Seth: that's four Hailey: I - love - you Seth: shut up (to Ryan) Ryan Marissa said that to you (Ryan nods) ok what'd you say Ryan: (softly) thankyou Hailey: (cringes) oh Seth: well guess we'll be stayin in tonight, Carson Daly an a ball dropping...there is two images that should never be said in the same sentence CUT TO: Marissa coming out of the psychiatrist office into the waiting room. Oliver is there Oliver: nice of the doctors to keep the offices open today, with all our resolutions that need to be analysed before their broken Marissa: yeah it was nice of them Oliver: so...what are they...your resolutions that your never gonna keep, give me one at least one Marissa: I'm gonna eat more vegetables Oliver: wow you an the doc really went deep, and what about dairy, grains Marissa: actually we feel good about the grains Oliver: and tonight, New Year's Eve your social chair I'm sure you've organised several events, ferris wheels balloon animals Marissa: mmm done that Oliver: so, what's the deal? Marissa: you ask alot of questions Oliver: one of us has to Marissa: (smiles) uh what're you doing? Oliver: well now that you've asked um (hands her invitation) I'm having a party at my place Marissa: (reading) you live in the four seasons Oliver: come by an ill explain everything Marissa: yeah maybe we will Oliver: we as in uh you an your friend Marissa: uh my boyfriend Ryan, he wants to stay in he's not a social Oliver: (nods) mm my girlfriends the same way Natalie, but uh she'll be there y'know I could meet him, you could meet her, it's a party Marissa: (smiles) yeah hopefully ill see you there Oliver: there'll be veggies no pain killers but crudités some celery, dip Marissa: hmm well as long as there's dip (leaves) CUT TO: Cohen house - Kirsten & Hailey are in Kirsten's bedroom. Hailey is going through Kirsten's clothes and Kirsten is sitting on the bed Kirsten: Hailey can we...focus for a moment Hailey: on the fact this ones got matronly in the last year (referring to sweater) Kirsten: two years is the part that I wanna focus on Hailey: (ignoring her) what am I gonna wear tonight, a little Anne Taylor, a little Ralph Lauren...oh my god is this from Talbot's Kirsten: it was a gift (takes it from her) haven't you ben living in hostiles out of a backpack wearing clothes made from hemp Hailey: that was last year Kiki Kirsten: (snaps) don't call me Kiki! only dad calls me Kiki and only because he wont - not, you do remember dad don't you? Hailey: I have a vague recollection Kirsten: well just wait till he hears your back Hailey: yeah y'know I was gonna tell him...in due time Kirsten: well you have two weeks before he gets back from Paris...with Julie Cooper Hailey: (suprised) dad and Julie Cooper Kirsten: well at least he's dating somebody my age instead of yours Hailey: how does Jimmy Cooper feel about this? Kirsten: pretty good...now that they're getting a divorce Hailey: things have really picked up around here, y'know I should come back more often Kirsten: Hailey! what are your plans...exactly (Sandy comes in) Sandy: ladies so I'm gonna go uh- Kirsten: surfing, fun where? Sandy: you know the spot you know by the place Kirsten: four footers I heard that to (Sandy is looking for something) sunglasses Sandy: yeah I was jus gonna ask ya Kirsten: kitchen, so tonight Sandy: yeah what time should I make the reservations? Kirsten: uhh Sandy & Kirsten: eight Sandy: perfect, table? Kirsten: usual Sandy: (kisses her) I love you Kirsten: you too (Hailey is looking at them both, frowning) what? Hailey: you guys are like...married Kirsten: well that was the idea, when we had our wedding Hailey: no I mean like...deeply deeply married (Kirsten looks at her) forget it, anyway so tonight you guys... Kirsten: are going to dinner at the arches we do it every year home in time to watch Dick Clark an the ball drop, two images that should not be used in the same sentence Hailey: y'know it's to bad that you're busy tonight cause I know this really great party where you guys would have like actual fun, but I understand, you're boring now! Kirsten: I am not boring! (Sandy comes in again) Sandy: hey baby I-I I can't find- Kirsten: keys check you're- Sandy: pants ah you're good Hailey: (holding a dress) Gucci now we're talkin Kirsten: (takes it from her) yes and I will be wearing this Sandy: to the arches uh it's kinda fancy Kirsten: hey Sandy after our annual dinner how do you feel about a party CUT TO: the pool house - Ryan & Marissa are discussing the party Ryan: we're not goin to a party, we made plans Marissa: to do nothing Ryan: who's Oliver Marissa: (shrugs) a guy from therapy...hey there'll be crudité an dip (Ryan looks at her) sorry I guess it's more of an inside joke Ryan: between you an Oliver you guys have inside jokes Marissa: it'll be fun there'll be people Ryan: as opposed to here which'll jus be you an me, I thought you wanted to do nothing Marissa: yeah well that was before- Ryan: right before I...it Marissa: (playing dumb) what Ryan: because I didn't say... Marissa: what? Ryan: when you said... Marissa: what? Ryan: never mind Marissa: so (picks up the invite) are you going Ryan: I'm stayin here watchin movies like we agreed Marissa: (gives him the invite) ok well if you change your mind Ryan: so you're going Marissa: like I said, yep (kisses him on the cheek) happy New Year (leaves) Ryan: happy New Year ( he doesn't look happy) CUT TO: Ryan & Seth playing video games in the living room Seth: you know what you did...you know what you did, you blew it buddy...almost as bad as I did but you know what, we're both single now its a new year I think we should join friends fair meet new people Ryan: we didn't break up we're just not spending New Years Eve together Seth: only the most important chick holiday of the year besides Valentines Day, why don't you jus go to this party I don't understand Ryan: because we had plans an...because I mean who's Oliver Seth: ok, as long as you're clear on your motivation (Sandy & Kirsten walk in, they are all dressed up) Sandy: ok so we're gonna go Kirsten: ah do you guys need anything Seth: yes Ryan needs a tear in the space time continuum so he can go back an say I love you to Marissa (Ryan looks at him) Kirsten: she said I love you (Seth nods) Sandy: so what'd you say back? Seth: thankyou Ryan: (to Seth) thankyou Sandy: well that was polite Seth: (nods & smiles) that's what I said Kirsten: you guys have fun Sandy: see ya Seth: love you guys Sandy: thankyou (Sandy & Kirsten walk out and run into Hailey coming down the stairs) Hailey: you guys look hot Sandy: hey don't sound so suprised Hailey: (pushing Kirsten) come on let's go move it out, I don't wanna see you crazy kids back here before two Kirsten: thanks, for this and when we get back we'll talk about your plan an how long your here (Hailey rolls her eyes) an why...your ok about tonight Hailey: I'm just gonna catch up with some friends, don't worry about me, you guys deserve to have some fun Sandy: I couldn't agree more...lets go (to Hailey) happy New Year Hailey: thanks (shuts the door) (Hailey walks into the living room, suprised to see Ryan & Seth) Hailey: what're you guys doing here, your not even dressed? Seth: I know I told you we're not goin out Carson Daly balls Hailey: I thought you were being sarcastic Seth: that's usually a safe assumption Hailey: (to Ryan) w-where's your lady friend Ryan: out at a party Hailey: your girlfriends at a New Years Eve party, alone (sits down) Seth: she's not alone she's with some guy named Oliver Ryan: you've gotten really glib Seth: hmm Hailey: you guys broke up Ryan: (defensive) we didn't break up we're just not spending New Years Eve together Hailey: you know what they say, the way you spend new years eve is the same way you'll spend the rest of the year (Ryan frowns) so at the count down to midnight when she's looking for someone to kiss an your here playing video games about pirates Seth: (correcting) ninjas Hailey: (dramatic) and its like 10, 9, 8 (Ryan looks at her) an she's all alone when she sees this guy Oliver 7, 6, 5, fire works start, music swells 4, 3 people are pairing off (Ryan looks worried) who's she gonna kiss 2, 1 (Ryan & Seth both look at each other) CUT TO: Ryan & Seth dressed to go out Hailey: you guys look hot Seth: to hot? cause I'm tryin'a keep a low profile these days Ryan: thanks for y'know gettin me outta the house Hailey: (puts her arm around his shoulders) hey your part of the family an we look out for our own now, lets go (pushes Ryan) come on out Seth: you wanna come? Hailey: nah I'm gonna...hang out, take it easy, lay low (Ryan opens the door to leave and there is a group of people outside. one guy screams and sprays champagne all over Ryan & Seth. lots of people enter the house) Ryan: (shouts) take it easy? Seth: (shouts) lay low? Hailey: just a couple of friends (you see a guy in the living room, he smashes a table lamp. more people come through the door and they spray Ryan & Seth with silly string. neither are happy about it) CUT TO: Marissa & Summer arriving at Oliver's party. they get out of the elevator and head to the door Summer: (excited) we are at the penthouse of the four seasons Marissa: I know its jus...y'know Summer: Coop, the way you spend your new years eve is the way your gonna spend the rest of the year Marissa: it is? Summer: yeah (links arms with her) an you are not gonna think of Ryan an I am so not thinking of Seth Cohen an how pathetic it is that he's staying home on New Years Eve probably playing like a stupid video game about like pirates or like ninjas or something Marissa: uh-hm Summer: alright four season's penthouse...it's undeniable (Marissa laughs and they walk in) Anna: hey! people I know Summer: huh where? (Anna fake laughs) Marissa: hey Anna what're you doing here Anna: oh my parents are friends with the parents of the guy who's throwing this party Marissa: wait you know Oliver Anna: who Oliver: (walking up) hey you made it Marissa: hey Oliver: c'mon I'll show you around Marissa: ok (walks off with him) Anna: so where's Seth? Summer: um I don't know, why don't you tell me Anna: I don't know an I don't care Summer: me either, Seth Cohen is like so 2003 and in like 74 minutes I'll never have to think about him again Anna: 73 Summer: even better Anna: mmhmm CUT TO: the Cohen's back yard. guys run to the pool taking their shirts off and scream 'skinny dipping' Ryan: oh god dudes Seth: ok that's alotta genitalia in my pool Ryan: we should go Seth: we can't go Ryan: what about the whole Marissa kissing Oliver count down? Seth: yeah I know, that was before I took a face full a don man, I can't leave Hailey here the place'll get trashed c'mon she's insane Ryan: you said she was awesome Seth: insanely awesome Ryan: so tell her, the party's over Seth: right right except I don't wanna be the dad ok listen telling my aunt she can't have a party that's embarrassing. you do it Ryan: it's your house Seth: right an it's your girlfriend with some dude named Oliver (Ryan glares at him) (shrugs) I'm just tryin'a help you track some motivation Ryan: she's apart of your family Seth: right and the Cohen's are notorious for conflict avoidance but the Atwood's, they thrive on it you are the man for this Ryan: I'm...not gonna win this argument Seth: (shakes his head) no Ryan: ok (walks off) Seth: hey no ball dropping till midnight ok (catches a beach ball) thanks that's what I was talkin about CUT TO: Kirsten & Sandy in the car GPS: in one quarter of a mile turn left Sandy: what's goin on? Kirsten: nothin...are we in a rut? Sandy: (laughs) that's nothin huh, no we're not in a rut, we're in a marriage Kirsten: its jus that (sighs) we finish each others sentences we always know what the other is thinking Sandy: oh that's my favourite part Kirsten: I own a sweater set from Talbot's Sandy: that was a gift...I don't think anybody would think we're boring Kirsten: but do we need to take more chances GPS: in 400 feet turn left Sandy: yes we do need to take more chances (Kirsten looks at him) GPS lady says turn left...I'm goin right Kirsten: Sandy don't Sandy: nah n-n-no you can't stop me no one can hang on here we go GPS: when possible please make a U turn Sandy: (to GPS) no no I wont! I will not! Kirsten: Sandy please Sandy: oh baby we're livin on the edge honey we're livin on the edge woohoo Kirsten: we're not living on the edge we're getting lost would you just listen to the GPS lady GPS: when possible please make a U turn Sandy: oh thank god cause y'know I...I hate to defy the GPS lady cause she...she gets so cross Kirsten: (laughs) do you think we're fun Sandy: yeah I do, come on your sister is so up inside your head its nuts no ones as fun as Hailey I mean that's her calling in life she's 10 pounds of fun in a 5 pound bag Kirsten: what'does that mean Sandy: it means she's fun y'know she's a Nichol she's a pot stirrer a ball buster a-a button pusher, she is pushin your buttons Kirsten: that she is Sandy: well we're goin to a party where we don't know anyone where anything could happen Kirsten: that's true Sandy: that's fun Kirsten: (thinks) why don't...we skip dinner an jus go to that party GPS: when possible please make a U turn Sandy: oooooh you are dangerous CUT TO: Oliver's party. Oliver & Marissa are talking in the kitchen Marissa: (sitting on the bench) hey so this is a pretty cool place to have a party Oliver: yeah well my parents own a bunch of em Marissa: (sucking a lime) mm hotel rooms? Oliver: hotels Marissa: mm I've never had one of these before (referring to the drink Oliver is making) Oliver: oh they are excellent of course these are virgins they won't take the edge off, they wont numb the pain, but hey there fun to-to say mohito Marissa: mohito (laughs) Oliver: mohito! Marissa: (laughing) mohito (getting down) hey y'know jus cause I'm not drinking doesn't mean you can't Oliver: yes but then my sponsor would be so disappointed in me (smiles) clean and sober eleven months Marissa: wow Oliver: you did meet me in therapy (Marissa smiles) so where's Ryan? Marissa: he's...not here Oliver: I can see that Marissa: so when do I get to meet Natalie Oliver: yeah uh...she's not here (laughs) Marissa: what happened? Oliver: long story long distance relationship y'know those are always so fraught with peril, anyway she's a freshman at Arizona Marissa: (impressed) an older woman Oliver: not really she uh had the benefit of not getting kicked out of three schools in three years, makes it a whole lot easier to graduate on time (Marissa smiles) but as for me now I'm doing senior year...again an she's doin her freshman thing y'know havin fun partying (shrugs) an I don't think she wants to be in a serious relationship anymore Marissa: an you...love her (Oliver nods) have you told her? Oliver: course all the time...(holds up drink) to Ryan Marissa: to Natalie Oliver: we can have fun without em right Marissa: I hope so Oliver: not the inspiring answer I was lookin for but, ill take it (they laugh and clink drinks) CUT TO: Cohen house - Ryan is looking for Hailey. he goes upstairs and over hears Hailey & a friend arguing Hailey: look I get it, I get that you're upset ok (Ryan knocks on the door) Hailey: one minute Ryan: (impatient) I needa talk to you Hailey: I said one minute! (to the girl) just hear me out Girl: I don't even know what your doin back here Hale you still owe me three grand Hailey: I know an ill get it back to you Girl: that's what you said two years ago before you bolted Hailey: oh what happened, your trust fund run out? Girl: I was gonna ask you the same thing, so you're back to make a withdrawal from your dad...and then what you'll split again Hailey: I don't need this from you your suppose to be my friend Girl: you don't have any friends left hun you burned all those bridges Hailey: gee doesn't look like it from the showing we got tonight Girl: or everybody knows no one throws a rager like Hailey Nichol, your lookin for some good blow some clean speed Hailey: look this conversation is over you wanna go, then go Girl: not without my three grand and you better hope that Cameo doesn't show up here tonight after what you did to Alex Hailey: goodbye (walks out the door) Ryan: (yells) hey! you think maybe its time we end this thing Hailey: no, I don't Ryan: well maybe the cops will Hailey: so what, you're like a nark now (Ryan looks at her) fine lets jus talk about this (Ryan follows Hailey) [SCENE_BREAK] CUT TO: Sandy & Kirsten arriving at the party Sandy: this place isn't so rockin, I mean we're way more fun then these people Kirsten: I can't believe this is Hailey's big party Sandy: oh I just hope there's somethin (?) devilled egg I'm starvin Taryn: (suprised) Kirsten! oh my god I can't believe your here, I had no idea you were...so much fun Kirsten: yeah uh hi Taryn you-you know my husband Sandy Sandy: hey (waves) Taryn: well if I don't now I might at midnight (laughs) go ahead Sandy put your watch in the bowl (to Kirsten) whoever ends up with him is gonna be one lucky lady Sandy: (in shock) oh my god Kirsten: I think we're at a swinger's party, I'm gonna kill Hailey, we can still make our dinner reservations cant we Sandy: oh yeah, yeah yeah we're leavin Kirsten: we can't stay here...can we? Sandy: (laughs) we're not in this big a rut Kirsten: you think we're in a rut, you jus said it! Sandy: where's that deviled egg Kirsten: we-we don't have enough nerve to-to stick this out Sandy: no we don't so let's go Kirsten: we couldn't possibly stay, could we? Sandy: hey we can stay Kirsten: I dare you Sandy: don't dare me unless you mean it Kirsten: I dare ya Sandy: I will Kirsten: double dare Sandy: ok Kirsten: go ahead Sandy: you got three seconds to stop me (begins to take off his watch) uno (walks to the bowl) dose (Kirsten looks at him) trese (Kirsten shrugs not stopping him) (he looks at her then puts the watch in) CUT TO: Cohen's backyard - Ryan, Hailey & Seth are walking to the pool house Seth: we'll be chlorinating for weeks! Hailey: lets jus go somewhere private, talk without getting the cops involved...I know your moms gonna kill me (opens the door & Seth & Ryan walk in) and I'm really sorry but its New Years Eve (shuts the door on them) and we're having a party (key locks the door & walks off) Seth: (banging) (yells) hey! (Ryan & Seth look at each other) CUT TO: Inside the pool house Ryan: great this is just great Seth: (shakes the door) oh god this isn't good Ryan: you think? Seth: (panics) (grabs Ryan) I can't breathe Ryan: what? Seth: (freaking out) I'm claustrophobic Ryan: Seth this place is huge it has a kitchen an a bathroom Seth: shhh Ryan do not use up all the oxygen Ryan: you want a sandwich a shower we got all that here Seth: (scoffs) we're gonna die an I'm the glib one Ryan: I sleep here every night three'a the walls are made'a windows Seth: yes which currently look out on naked dudes man, we're trapped like rats! Ryan: rats in an enourmous pool house! by the way your aunts really cool Seth: yeah I know she's a little unpredictable sometimes (freaks out more) my shirts strangling me ugh (grabs at the collar) oh Ryan: (closes his eyes) oh great my girlfriends kissing some guy an I'm stuck here with a lunatic CUT TO: Sandy & Kirsten at the swinger's party. Sandy is talking to some woman & Kirsten is sitting by herself. Taryn sits next to her) Taryn: I know the first one of these can be a little...challenging, the key...drink alot (smiles) Kirsten: I'm jus easing into it Taryn: it's worth it...New Years Eve 1998 this party saved my marriage Kirsten: my marriage doesn't need saving where not in trouble Taryn: oh sure not trouble nah jus...a rut, I know I was there Kirsten: we're not in a rut Taryn: so many of us just sleep walk through our own lives an we don't even know we're asleep, till somebody wakes us up Kirsten: I'm up Taryn: take a chance, I mean what's the worst that could happen, you have one evening of crazy s*x with a total stranger, in college that was a Thursday night Kirsten: for you maybe (Kirsten watches Sandy) Taryn: you ask me your husbands havin alotta fun for someone who's not in a rut (walks off) CUT TO: Oliver's party. Summer & Anna are sitting together Summer: feel like drinking? Anna: um no not really, you? Summer: no (they both look over at the same guy, the guy smiles towards them and they both smile back. they both realise and stop) Anna: I'm sorry he was probably smiling at you Summer: oh no your eye lines totally matched you should go Anna: no n-n-no he's clearly interested in you Summer: you think? (he nods his head in their direction, they both do it back to him) Anna: that was all you Summer: no to close to call, we are not ringing in 04 the same way we spent 03, I'm on the case come on (stands up & grabs Anna's arm) Anna: wait n-n-no Summer you can't jus go up to him Summer: (to the guy) hi uh we were wondering who were you smiling at me or her Allan: uh you're both cute Summer: n-n-no not happening ok, one or the other you have to choose between us, someone has to choose between us! Anna: you know what Summer its ok, you can have him Summer: Anna look Seth Cohen just wants to be our friend I don't know anything about this guy but I know Allan: I'm Allan (holds out hand) from Tulsa Oklahoma Summer: (puts hand up) yeah don't care (to Anna) all I know is that this guy doesn't just wanna be my friend Anna: he's really not my type, go for it Summer: oh what's your type Seth Cohen (Summer realises what she said, Anna looks hurt) Anna: (softly) I'm gonna go (walks off) Summer: great CUT TO: Marissa & Oliver near where Summer & Anna were Oliver: and we have crudité, as promised Marissa: (smiling) oh so now I have to eat them Oliver: uh not until midnight (Marissa laughs) so question when you asked me if I ever told Natalie I loved her, it struck me as an interesting question, revealing Marissa: wow you should be a therapist Oliver: so what you said it to him an he didn't say it back Marissa: uh he said...thankyou Oliver: well at least he's polite...I'm gonna get another mohito, you want one? Marissa: yeah...maybe I just over reacted y'know I mean maybe he didn't say it because he just wasn't ready Oliver: yeah or because you know Marissa: (concerned) because he doesn't love me Oliver: oh hey no no I mean what'do I know I don't even know the guy...don't listen'a me (Marissa looks worried) CUT TO: Kirsten & Sandy at the swinger's party. Kirsten is now with a guy & Sandy is alone Bob: I traveled to see the Alaskan blue hare Kirsten: I-I had no idea that that involved that much travel, an (?) that's fascinating Sandy: excuse me I'm sorry to interrupt (to Kirsten) hey I'm ready to go, was this fun or what (to the guy) Sandy Cohen pleasure swingin with ya Kirsten: we're leaving I-I'm just starting to have fun, did you know that Bob studies birds Sandy: birds! Bob that's great (to Kirsten) listen if we hurry I think we can still get our table Kirsten: I wanna stay (Bob walks away) bye Bob Bob: maybe ill see you later Sandy: what're you doin Kirsten: I'm havin fun Sandy: what discussing the pigeon with Bob...Hailey has so gotten under your skin Kirsten: no Sandy: what Kirsten: this is not about Hailey Sandy: oh no Kirsten: no, maybe we needed to do this, maybe we need'a do something dangerous, maybe we are in a rut an we didn't even know it Sandy: so you wanna swing Kirsten: I'm swinging Sandy: (walking away) Heidi you have got to finish telling me that story about the Galapagos Islands CUT TO: The pool house - Ryan is lying on his bed & Seth is lying on the floor breathing in a brown paper bag Ryan: 45 minutes its midnight, we ever get outta here your aunt is dead Seth: hey Ryan Ryan: yeah Seth: (sits up) I have to ask you (sighs) why didn't you jus say it Ryan: (sits up on his elbow) I don't know...cause I never have Seth: but you do right Ryan: I guess, I don't know...how do ya know Seth: I jus think you know (barely heard) I don't know Ryan: yeah I do...why didn't you choose I mean you had to like one more then the other right Seth: (breathes in the bag) but now I don't deserve either cause I blew it (lays back down) Ryan: me too (lays down) Seth: I'm optimistic about this friends (?) thing though Ryan: 43 minutes (sighs) CUT TO: Hailey walking around inside Hailey: hey Guy: Hailey man good party once again Hailey: happy New Year (smiling) (pan to the front door, a group of rough looking girls come in) Cameo: (to girl from earlier) where is that bitch? I can't believe she would even show her face in Newport Girl: look Cammy I don't know (walks off) (Hailey sees that Cameo is there and runs to the pool house. she unlocks the door) Hailey: I need help (Seth sees the door is open) Seth: (gasps) fresh oxygen (Seth dives towards the door but Hailey shuts it on him and his face hits the glass) Ryan: so you locked us in the pool house an now you want our help Hailey: pretty much, yes Ryan: no I'm leavin Hailey: w-w-w-wait, there's a girl out there that wants to kill me Ryan: just one...look there's a girl who's gonna wanna kill me if I don't get to her in 39 minutes Hailey: ok, but please help me shut this down Ryan: I'm not helpin you Hailey: fine but she's gonna tear this house apart (Ryan shakes his head) do it for Sandy & Kirsten Ryan: let's go we gotta clear this party out Seth: (down near their feet) it's what I do best (breathes in the paper bag) (they walk out) CUT TO: Seth & Ryan standing at the front door with a flash light, people are walking out Seth: have a good night Ryan: thanks for comin Hailey: what'd you do? Seth: shut off the power Ryan: told em the cops were coming (looks at his watch) oh I gotta go Seth: Ryan go man, ill clean up Ryan: you sure? Seth: yes, go! Ryan: 31 minutes (Seth pushes him) I jus hope I can get to her on time (bolts to the door) Seth: me too (Seth looks at Hailey, then they both survey the mess. the couch is on its side and there are things all over the floor) CUT TO: Sandy & Kirsten at the watch party Taryn: come on everybody its 11:30 we need to make our selections so we have someone new to ring in the new year with (clapping) since this is Evelyn's house we will let her pick first, Evy (Evelyn picks up a watch, it belongs to Bob) Sandy: (clapping) way to go Bob (another woman picks another watch, more clapping) (close up of Kirsten's eyes, then Sandy's eyes - shot of different hands in the bowl, its getting lower and lower - close ups of their eyes again) Taryn: ok (takes a watch & holds it up) (disappointed with the guy) (to Kirsten) I hope you have some better luck ( 2 more people choose and now it's only Kirsten, Sandy, 1 guy & 1 girl left. woman takes the only watch left and it belongs to the guy. Kirsten looks at Sandy & smiles) Sandy: (laughs) I don't get it, everyone else got picked, what happened to my watch Kirsten: (smiling) it better be in your pants (Sandy holds it up) Kirsten: mm (kisses him) Sandy: come on swinger, let's go home CUT TO: Ryan in the car stuck in traffic Radio: traffic is looking pretty bad on the 73, New Years Eve is always ugly on the road luckily it's almost over (Ryan looks frustrated) CUT TO: Oliver's party - Anna is standing by herself. she doesn't look happy. Summer is sitting with Allan and waves to Anna, Anna smiles and waves back. Anna walks away towards Marissa Anna: hey, I'm gonna take off Marissa: you are? so close to midnight Anna: yeah yeah I don't wanna be here it's to depressing, happy New Year (hugs her) Marissa: thanks (Anna leaves) (Oliver comes up behind her) Oliver: hey how you doin Marissa: (sad) I know it sounds stupid but I...I keep looking back at the door thinking...maybe he'll show up...in time Oliver: yeah I keep hopin to see Natalie...sadly I think it's just us tonight (Marissa nods) but hey at least we have each other (Marissa smiles) CUT TO: Sandy & Kirsten getting home. they both stop suddenly and look at the mess. Kirsten laughs Sandy: I think we're in the wrong house Kirsten: I don't (Seth comes in and waves to them) Sandy: what the hell happened here? Seth: ok I don't even know enough people to cause this much damage (Hailey comes in) Hailey: so, how was the party? Kirsten: what'did you do Hailey: nothing that can't be undone, well a little palmolive some elbow grease, Seth an I have it covered Seth: oooh nobody said anything about elbow grease Kirsten: Seth - garbage - out - now Sandy: I look forward to waking up to a clean house tomorrow (Sandy walks off) Hailey: night Sandy...I'm gonna get back to the dishes Kirsten: YOU don't walk away from me Hailey: your not mom...ya can't talk to me that way Kirsten: (angry) this is my house! my upside down couch! I will talk to you any way that I want (Hailey walks away) CUT TO: Sandy going into the bedroom Sandy: (seeing 2 girls & a guy in bed) oh oh I I should really learn to knock (shutting the door) incase there's a threesome going on in my bedroom CUT TO: The kitchen - Hailey is cleaning & Kirsten is talking to her Kirsten: you can't keep living your life like this Hailey like you have no responsibility, like your still a child, what use to be cute is now embarrassing Hailey: I'm sorry...the party got a little out of hand Kirsten: people your age they have finished college they have jobs their-their married Hailey: look in the morning, ill take off Kirsten: (heated) I am not asking you to leave I jus want you to grow up!...(calmer) it's a new year you can make a new start Hailey: why? so I can grow up to be jus like you working for dad selling Mc-mansions planning charity events with the newpsies Kirsten: hey! I love my life, my family, my rut...you spend so much time putting energy into having fun, your whole life is dedicated to having fun...are ya even havin any?...I'll help you clean up Hailey: (teary) I don't want your help...ill finish in the morning, I'm goin'a bed CUT TO: Seth taking out the garbage bins. Anna is walking up Seth: Anna, hey Anna: I didn't want you to be alone on new years...actually (walking closer to him) uh-hm I didn't wanna be alone on new years Seth: well I'm not alone Anna: oh Seth: (shakes head) mm mm I have uh captain oats an Carson Daly so Anna: oh wow that's an unbeatable combination, ill go (turns around) Seth: wait-wait uh captain oats had to much champagne an... Carson Daly's kind of a ginormous tool so (Anna laughs) I could use the company (smiles) (Anna looks as though she's going to kiss him, but takes one of the bins from him instead) CUT TO: Ryan in the lobby of the four seasons, he is running. stops and runs to the elevator then presses the button several times it takes to long so he runs off and goes into the stairway CUT TO: Inside the party - Marissa looks disappointed that Ryan's not there CUT TO: The stair way. Ryan is running up a flight of stairs CUT TO: The party - Oliver is standing with Marissa Oliver: twenty seconds (smiles) (Marissa looks to the door, hopeful) CUT TO: The stair way - Ryan leans against the wall trying to catch his breath. looks at his watch then runs again CUT TO: The party - the countdown begins Everyone: 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 (Marissa looks at Summer - it's interesting to note they aren't joining the countdown) 6, 5 CUT TO: (slow motion) Ryan flinging open the door to the floor of the penthouse, he runs out CUT TO: Inside the party (slow motion) Marissa is standing opposite Oliver and they are about to clink glasses CUT TO: (slow motion) Ryan is running to the door of the penthouse and opens it, he pushes through the crowd. Marissa sees him enter - Ryan is running - Marissa is watching - Ryan is still running - Marissa has a huge smile on her face and she walks towards him Everyone: 3 - 2 (Ryan smiles and they kiss just as we hear everyone yell 'happy New Year'. gold glitter is raining down on them) - it looks truly magical) CUT TO: Cohen house (slow motion) Sandy is changing the sheets on their bed, Kirsten comes in. Kirsten smiles at him & Sandy holds up his watch with a huge smile on his face. Kirsten touches it CUT TO: (slow motion) Seth & Anna are making out on his bed, Seth is on his side, as is Anna. then Seth rolls on top of Anna and they continue to kiss. they both look over at his TV which shows 'happy' CUT TO: Summer & Allan kissing. Summer pulls away Summer: (sad) you're not Seth Cohen Allan: who's Seth Cohen? Summer: huh I wasn't-I wasn't talking to you um, I gotta go happy New Year (leaves) (Oliver is looking around, it then pans to Ryan & Marissa who finish kissing) Ryan: (mouths) I love you Marissa: (suprised) what? Ryan: (whispers) I love you (smiles) Marissa: (thinks about it for a second)...thankyou (Marissa smiles at him then they kiss again - awww - Fade out)

Plan: A: Kirsten; Q: Who's sister, Hailey, crashes at the Cohen's home? A: a New Year's Eve party; Q: What does Hailey throw at the Cohen's home? A: control; Q: What does Hailey's party get out of? A: Ryan; Q: Who is worried about Marissa's relationship with Oliver? A: Anna; Q: Who decides to spend the night with Seth without Summer's knowledge? Summary: Kirsten's sister, Hailey, crashes at the Cohen's home and throws a New Year's Eve party that gets out of control. Ryan is worried about Marissa's relationship with Oliver. Anna decides to spend her night with Seth, without Summer's knowledge.

[EXT. LAS VEGAS DESERT (STOCK) -- DAY] (Thunder rumbles in the distance.) [EXT. OPEN HIGHWAY - DAY] (Three men speed in a red convertible on the open road. The music is on loud and the driver has an open bottle of beer in his hand. The man sitting in the seat behind the driver reaches over and holds out a joint for him to smoke from. The driver inhales and laughs loudly.) Drunk Driver: Hey, bro, I'm driving drunk, and you're lighting up a J? Maybe we should wait for those ... hell, dude. (The man in the backseat laughs and continues smoking the joint.) Backseat Passenger: Man, we're in Vegas. Sweet potato Vegas! Whoo! (The red convertible continues to speed along the open highway.) (They come upon a large garbage truck in front of them with its back wide open. Slips of colored paper and other rubbish fly out the back.) (They laugh and continue to drive fast.) (Two troopers on motorcycles pull up behind them, their sirens on.) Passenger: Hide that! Hide it! Hide it! Get it out of here! (They hide their joints.) (The officers on the motorcycles continue to follow them.) Drunk Driver: Hey, hide that liquor! Hide the liquor! Hide it! Passenger: Throw that joint out! (The two officers on motorcycles speed past the red convertible. They're in the clear.) Passenger: Get him! Get him! Drunk Driver: Shoot him! Shoot him! [EXT. ROAD - DAY] (The garbage truck driver continues to speed through a small alleyway. The sirens continue to blare behind him.) (The driver continues out the other end onto a busy street. He doesn't stop. Car horns blare. He continues through the road with the officers behind him.) (The CONTROL SANITATION garbage truck continues to speed along the road. The officers continue to chase after him.) (The driver in the truck takes out a gun and tosses it out the window.) (The driver continues through the road.) (On the other side, two officer cars block his path.) (The driver turns the truck and it smashes to a halt on the side of the building wall.) (A DEAD BODY wrapped in torn plastic hits the pavement.) (The driver gets out of the carriage, his forehead is bleeding. He starts running.) (The two officers on motorcycles continue to chase after him.) (The man runs.) Garbage Truck Driver: Get out of the way! (The man continues to run. A couple of officers on foot turn the corner right behind him. The two officers on motorbikes park and get off to continue the chase on foot.) (The man runs through the alley and turns the corner. He stops as two officer cars block the exit.) Officer: (over speaker) LVPD! Hold your position! (The man jumps onto the nearby fence, intending to escape over it. The officers run to him. A black car comes up the other end of the alley.) (The man doesn't make it over. He jumps back down to the ground.) (The black car runs straight into him, knocking him to the hard ground - dead, his blood pooling behind his head.) CAMERA FLASH TO: LATER: (A phone rings.) (Greg is snapping photos as Catherine crouches next to the body. She checks the man's shirt pocket as his phone rings.) (She answers the call.) Catherine: Hello? Hello? (She hangs up and checks the ID.) Catherine: Unknown caller. No call list. Probably disposable. (The SUV pulls up. Grissom gets out and heads for the scene.) Grissom: Where's Warrick? Catherine: We've been calling him. There's no answer. Brass: See what happens when you get in a high-speed chase with a garbage truck and end up with two dead bodies. (Grissom looks around.) Grissom: Where's the other one? [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY] (Brass leads Grissom, Catherine and Greg to the second body. David Phillips is with the body and writing in his clipboard.) Grissom: I take it he came out of the truck? Brass: He flew out. At least that's what every eyewitness tells us. Catherine: Well, city landfill is a couple of miles down the road. Grissom: What's the TOD, David? David Phillips: Nine, maybe ten, hours. Brass: I got no ID on either of the bodies. No ID on the truck. I ran the VIN number and the plates. They're not in the system. Good luck. Greg: Control Sanitation is the only waste company in Vegas. If the garbage man works for them, his prints would be in the system. Grissom: All right. Catherine, you and I got the bodies. Greg, since Warrick's MIA, you have a choice: the truck or the trail. Greg: I'll go for the fresh air. (Greg takes his kit and heads out.) Catherine: Do I get a choice, too? Because, if you don't mind, I'm going to take the garbage man. Grissom: Be my guest. Catherine: Good luck. (Catherine picks up her kit and leaves. Grissom sets his kit down to get to work.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CAR (MOVING) - DAY] (Warrick is on the phone while driving.) Warrick: (to phone) I thought I told you not to call me on this line. Maybe that's because I don't want to talk to you. (He parks.) Are you kidding me? Why don't you ask the father of your unborn child? No. That's stupid. Don't call the lawyers. Tina, don't call ... (shouts) Tina! Tina! Don't call ... Tina! (Warrick hangs up and tosses the phone aside.) Warrick: Damn it. (Warrick opens his pill bottle and pops a pill. He gets out of the car.) [EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY] (Grissom is snapping photos of the body when Warrick rushes in.) Warrick: Hey, Gris, I'm sorry I'm late. I had some business to take care of. Grissom: This is your business. You were first up. That means you're supposed to be here first. (Warrick nods. Grissom points to the garbage truck.) Grissom: You get to process the trash truck. Warrick: No problem. (Warrick heads to the truck.) Grissom: But get it off the street. Tow it to the impound yard. (HOLD on Warrick.) FADE TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- DAY] (Catherine prints the dead body's fingerprints while David Phillips pats down the victim's coveralls. He notices the residue on his gloves.) David Phillips: These coveralls are brand-new. (He shows the stains on his gloves to Catherine.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - DAY] (Robbins goes over the preliminary findings with Catherine.) Robbins: Your garbage man was in excellent shape. COD is as expected. Massive BFT due to his unfortunate collision with the T-bird. (They turn to the next body on the second table.) Robbins: And your other vic was in his late 20s. He was definitely crushed by something. Catherine: Most likely, the garbage compactor. Robbins: Which happened postmortem. Catherine: Oh, it's always better to be compacted dead rather than alive. (Quick FLASHBACK TO: Someone tosses the plastic-wrapped body in the back of the garbage truck. The person turns it on and the back closes on the body. It crunches from the pressure. End of flashback.) Robbins: Suffocation. He had petechial hemorrhaging. I found white fibers in the nose and mouth. Sent them over to Hodges. He called back, confirmed they were silk. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY / A-V LAB -- DAY] (Nick and Grissom exit the office and head down the hallway and enter the A/V lab.) Nick: I tried to trace garbage man's cell phone. Like we expected, it's disposable. So I tracked down the distributor. It was paid for in cash under a bogus me. But I did get an AFIS hit off his print. (They stop in front of a monitor with the victim's morgue photo on it.) Nick: Brody Biggs. Former cop. (He pulls up a photo of the victim when he was younger and dressed in uniform.) Grissom: When was this taken? Nick: 1975, police academy graduation. I contacted LVPD. They said he quit the force back in 1980 with a perfect record. Grissom: Then what? Nick: Social came back to several different garages around town. He was a freelance mechanic for 20 years. Grissom: All right, we got to get his personnel file. What about the other vic? (Nick pulls up the EMPLOYEMENT HISTORY and photo of the second victim.) Nick: It's Jason Crewes, 27. Got a hit off his work card. He's worked at five different casinos over the last six years. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. COMMUNITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. CREWES RESIDENCE - FOYER -- DAY] (The door opens. Nick and Catherine walk into the house. Nick picks up the phone on the table. He checks it.) Nick: Well, it doesn't look like Jason planned on going anywhere. I know a lot of people in this phone. (Catherine takes the phone form him and looks at the contacts.) Catherine: You do not. Knows some famous people. Or uses famous nicknames for his friends. (They both pick up their kits and head in separate directions.) [INT. CREWES RESIDENCE - HOME OFFICE -- DAY] (Catherine opens the door to the home office and enters. She looks at the posters on the wall: RAIN NIGHTCLUB TANGERINE LOUNGE & NIGHTCLUB MOONSHINE IS BACK MOONSHINE SUNDAYS NOW OPEN THURSDAYS - SUNDAYS GHOSTBAR PALMS OPEN NIGHTLY (Catherine turns around and looks at the framed autographed photos on the counter. The last photo is a 1995 HUX cover signed by PIPPA SANCHEZ.) (Catherine goes to the desk, puts her camera down and picks up the stack of ACCESS CARDS to the various nightclubs - PURE NIGHTCLUBS, RAIN, MOON and others.) (In the stack of access cards, she finds a VIP card for the SUPRENE FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIP.) [INT. CREWES RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM -- DAY] (Nick walks into the spacious room. He hears birds tweet nearby and looks at the two birds in the cage.) (Nick goes to the counter and slides a bowl aside to make room for his kit. He puts his kit down and looks at the parrot in the birdcage.) Nick: Did you see anything? (The parrot squawks.) (Nick looks around the room. He notes the plates on the floor with half-eaten food and crumbs. There are more food and plates on the coffee table and floor nearby.) (Nick turns and looks at the dark couch. He opens his kit and takes out his goggles. He puts them on and takes out his ALS. He checks the throw pillows and the couch and finds splotches of body fluid on the couch.) [INT. CREWES RESIDENCE - BEDROOM -- DAY] (Catherine walks through the bedroom and stops in front of a framed photo of Jason Crews with his mother.) (Catherine takes a photo of the bed. She looks at the label on the 100% SILK sheets.) (She checks the covers and finds two black spots. She takes a photo of the spots.) Catherine: Nick! (Nick walks in.) Catherine: I think I just found ground zero. I think Jason was killed here. (Quick flashback to: [NIGHT] Brody Biggs holds the gun on Jason Crewes, who is in bed and just waking up. Brody picks up a pillow and smothers Jason Crewes. Jason fights back. End of flashback.) Nick: Well, this would have been the perfect murder if Jason's body would have actually made it to the landfill. Would have been incinerated. Catherine: At least now his mother has someone to bury. (She turns and looks at the photo on the counter.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PD - BRASS' OFFICE -- DAY] (Brass talks with Jason Crewes' mother, Belinda.) Belinda: He was alone last night. We talked at about 3:00 in the morning. He said he got off work early and was going to bed, and he'd call me when he woke up. But he never did. (Brass shows her Brody Biggs' photo.) Brass: Have you ever seen this man? His name is Brody Biggs. He's a mechanic. (She shakes her head, no.) Brass: Are you sure? We think this is the man that killed your son. Belinda: If he's a mechanic, maybe he worked on some of Jason's limos. Brass: I thought Jason was a club owner. Belinda: He was a limo driver before that, long time ago. Brass: Well, couldn't be that long ago. Jason was only 27. You have to be 25 to be a limo driver. Belinda: He had all kinds of fake IDs. Drove his first long one at 18. The owner of the limo company liked Jason. Made him a VIP driver. Celebs liked Jason. He could take his clients to a Motel 6 and it'd be the hottest spot in town. Wasn't long before the club owners invested in Jason, made him a group partner, gave him his own spot. Then two, then five. Suddenly, he's running the whole club scene. (She starts to cry.) I guess I should say he ran the club scene. He's not going to be running anything anymore. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. STREET (GARBAGE TRUCK)-- DAY] (Grissom carries a box over to the garbage truck where Warrick is sitting and reading a paper.) Warrick: I'll be damned. Take a look at that. (Warrick hands the paper to Grissom. The headline reads, "Reagan Pleads to Gorbachev: "Tear Down that Wall." President Delivers Fiery Speech at Brandenberg Gate.) Grissom: The good old days. Warrick: Yeah. Here's an ad for the Silver Slipper Casino -- buffet. (He hands another paper to Grissom.) Grissom: Back when they had real eggs, not powdered ones. Warrick: Hey, Gris, listen. About me being late ... Grissom: You have a cell phone paid for by the department. You call, you say you're running late. What's going on with you? Warrick: I don't know. This, uh ... this whole divorce has taken the wind out of my sails. You know, I used to have the team to distract me from all this, but even that's changed with Sara being gone. I feel kind of disconnected. Grissom: You've got your work. Don't screw that up. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY] (Greg walks along the taped-off sidewalk as he looks at the spilled-out garbage on the ground.) [EXT. STREET (GARBAGE TRUCK) -- DAY] (Warrick continues to go through the garbage. He finds a broken vinyl record.) Warrick: Van Halen, 1984. (He hands the broken record to Grissom.) Warrick: Either this truck was delivering merchandise for a memorabilia store or it's just plain old. Grissom: Maybe that's why Brass couldn't find the registration record. (Grissom moves the box aside and looks at the license plate, NEVADA DA-80F3.) Grissom: These old blue license plates were issued in the '80s. Warrick: I don't think this truck's been on the streets since. [EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY] (Greg stops and steps over the crime scene tape. He takes a photo, then picks up the gun tossed by the garbage truck driver.) (He looks at it and opens it.) [EXT. STREET (GARBAGE TRUCK) -- DAY] (Grissom walks around the side of the garbage truck and looks carefully at the CONTROL SANITATION CO logo. He peels it off and finds the truck underneath is orange.) (Warrick climbs down.) Grissom: I think this guy was disguising his truck. It was orange before it was green. They used to use orange garbage trucks in the '80s. Warrick: The hydraulic cylinder blew. (Quick flashback to: The garbage truck back hatch closes on the body. It crunches. The hydraulic cylinder blew. End flashback.) Grissom: (V.O.) Maybe when he crushed the body. That's why all the garbage flew out. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (Greg shows Grissom and Warrick the gun.) Greg: Found this .22 in the parking lot near the crash. Check these bullets. (He gives the bullets in a baggie to Grissom.) Grissom: Shorts. Greg: Usually used for shooting small animals, but in some cases they're used on people in place of a silencer. (Quick CGI POV: The bullet is in the gun chamber. The gun fires. The bullet flares.) Grissom: (V.O.) Less gunpowder, less noise. (End of CGI POV.) Warrick: Look, if the garbage man had this gun, why didn't he just shoot the vic? Grissom: He found Jason sleeping. Why make a mess if you don't have to? Greg: Sounds like a professional hit man. Grissom: Well, if he was, we still have to find the guy who hired him. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM -- DAY] (Warrick reports his findings with Grissom and Greg.) Warrick: Traced the VIN on the garbage truck back to the Regency, the company that made it. The only model of that truck sold in Nevada was to a company called the Regal Sanitation Group. They shut down in '83. Grissom: That explains the garbage. (Greg sits down.) Greg: Regal Sanitation was owned by Anthony Pezzulo. I'm studying mob history for my book. Warrick: Pezzulo? Wasn't he the mob boss who owned the Starfly? CLOSE-UP: An old issue of the LAS VEGAS GLOBE. The headline reads, "Pezzulo Back in Court." There's a photo of Pezzulo on the cover. Greg: They called Pezzulo "Whacko," not so much for his wacky personality as for his love for whacking guys. INSERT: VARIOUS FLASHES of dead mob hit victims. Grissom: Until he himself got whacked at the Wisconsin Dells in 1983. INSERT: Crime scene photo of Anthony Pezzulo. Grissom: Every mob-owned business in Vegas shut down when Pezzulo died. Warrick: These scumbags lay roaches. Just when you think they're gone, they pop back up again. Somebody put a hit out on Jason. It couldn't have been Pezzulo 'cause he's been dead for 20 years. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- DAY] (Archie and Warrick walk through the hallway.) Archie: Pezzulo's wife Kate got rid of Regal Sanitation right after he died. Warrick: She still around? Archie: She fell off the radar. All I could find was this old photo. (Archie shows Warrick the article and photo with Anthony Pezzulo and his wife, Kate.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PD - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (Brass is talking with Belinda, Jason Crewes' mother, formerly known as "Kate," Anthony Pezzulo's wife.) Belinda: I told you the truth. Brass: You lied about your name. Belinda: The feds told me to forget I ever had the Pezzulo name. (Warrick is in the observation room watching the interview.) Belinda: I wasn't about to remember it for you. My husband had more cops than capos on his payroll. Brass: So you went into witness protection. You changed your identity. And then you stayed in Vegas? Belinda: Feds felt we'd actually be safer here. They thought if we left, we might suffer the same consequences as Anthony. (Grissom appears next to Warrick.) Brass: Did Jason have any mob ties? Belinda: Jason was three years old when Anthony died. He never even knew his father. Brass: The last time we talked you said you didn't know Jason's killer. (Brass opens a file folder and shows her a photo of younger Brody Biggs wearing his uniform.) Brass: What about this guy? (She looks at the photo.) Belinda: That's BB. Brass: That's the same guy. BB is short for Brody Biggs. Belinda: BB didn't kill Jason. There's no way. He was Anthony's friend. Brass: Friend? BB was driving one of your husband's old garbage trucks. Your dead son was in the back with the rest of the garbage. (She looks away.) How did BB get the truck? Belinda: I haven't seen BB in 23 years. Brass: You got rid of the business. What happened to the trucks? Belinda: I gave that stuff to Lou Gedda. (She wipes the tears form her eyes.) Brass: The owner of Pigalle Boulevard Strip Club. (She nods.) Brass: So did Gedda and BB know each other? Belinda: Of course, they were both on Anthony's crew, but they would never ... Brass: Never what? Never kill your son and dispose of him in one of the trucks you gave him? (She cries.) Brass: When was the last time you saw Gedda? Belinda: (sniffles) I haven't had any contact with him since Anthony died. Brass: So you're telling me you haven't seen or spoken to Lou Gedda in 23 years? Belinda: Gedda and I had an agreement. He was to keep away from our family. Forget Jason and I ever existed. (Brass stands up and closes the file folder.) Brass: Obviously, Lou Gedda is not a man of his word. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. PIGALLE BOULEVARD STRIP CLUB - PARKING LOT -- NIGHT] (There's a small crowd outside the strip club. A car pulls up in the parking lot and stops. Warrick gets out. He looks over and sees a homeless man leaning against the far corner wall and smoking a cigarette.) (Warrick and Brass both head for the strip club.) Warrick: This place has always been bad news. Brass: My guys are in here at least twice a week. Warrick: Yet there's always a line. Brass: Never underestimate the power of the ass. (Warrick laughs.) Warrick: Heads up. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PIGALLE BOULEVARD STRIP CLUB - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (Girls in skimpy bikinis dance on stage. Warrick and Brass walk in. The two bouncers blocking the doorway let them inside. They head for the bodyguard at the back of the room.) Brass: Looking for Lou Gedda. (The man notes the badge, then motions to the back.) (Warrick and Brass head up the ramp. They pass a waitress headed down.) Waitress: Excuse me. (Brass knocks on the closed door. As they wait for an answer, Warrick notes the dark-haired girl in a lacy bra headed for a back room. She enters the room.) Lou Gedda: (through door) Yeah, come on in. (Brass and Warrick enter Lou Gedda's office.) [INT. PIGALLE BOULEVARD STRIP CLUB - GEDDA'S OFFICE -- NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (Lou Gedda is on a massage table getting a massage from a pretty dark-haired woman.) Lou Gedda: Who let you two up here? Just so I know who to fire. (Brass points to his badge.) Brass: Gold card. (Gedda looks over.) Lou Gedda: Oh, yeah, those seem to work everywhere. (The woman cracks his bones.) Got to get me one. Ahh ... ! (He sits up on the table. The masseuse sits quietly on the couch in the back.) Lou Gedda: I know why you're here. And I don't know what to say. I can't control these girls. They want to leave with customers and do whatever it is they do, I can't prevent that. (Warrick notes the barber's chair in the office.) Lou Gedda: Believe me, I don't like whores. I like dancers. When I find out they're whores, I kick them curbside. Warrick: We're not here about your girls. We're here about this guy. (Warrick shows him a Brody Biggs' photo.) Lou Gedda: B.B. Yeah, works at my auto detailing. But I tell ya, he's in here more, getting drunk and checking out the breast-est-es. Brass: Well, you don't have to worry about him anymore. He's dead. Lou Gedda: Oh. Well ... unless you invite me to the funeral, what's this got to do with me? (Gedda gets up and goes to the spread on the table and makes himself a sandwich.) Brass: Tell me about Jason Crewes. He brings me boatloads of celebrities, which equals boatloads of money. I love the kid. Oh, don't tell me. You think Jason killed BB.? Brass: No, we think BB killed Jason. Lou Gedda: Now, see, that makes more sense. Warrick: When is the last time you saw Jason Crewes, sir? Lou Gedda: Last week. Brass: How long have you known him? Lou Gedda: A couple years at most. I still don't understand what this has to do with me. Warrick: You missing a garbage truck? Lou Gedda: Go again? Warrick: Regal Sanitation Group. Your buddy Pezzulo's old company. You inherited the trucks. Lou Gedda: So what? Brass: Jason Crewes' corpse flew out of one of your trucks earlier this morning. Lou Gedda: Do you know how much this club made last year? 30 mill. You think I'm still messing around with trash? And that's the end of this. You want to continue asking me questions, you're going to have to do it with my dream team present. (Warrick glances at Brass.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - A/V LAB -- NIGHT] (Warrick opens the EVIDENCE box marked JASON CREWES LAPTOP. He opens it and turns it on. He checks the calendar and finds that on THURSDAY, AUGUST 9, 2007, "Mike Raykirk in town. Pure. Then Pigalle.") [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PD - WAITING AREA -- NIGHT] (Warrick gets a can of soda out of the vending machine and hands it to Michael Raykirk.) Warrick: Here you go. Michael Raykirk: Thank you. (He opens his soda and drinks.) Warrick: So you're the talented Mr. Raykirk, agent to the stars. Michael Raykirk: Uh-uh, manager. Warrick: What's the difference? Michael Raykirk: Uh, well, an agent gets ten percent and a manager gets fifteen. Listen, I'm here in town for a film festival and I have to get to a screening, so you can you just, you know, cut to the chase? Warrick: Jason Crewes is dead. Michael Raykirk: Okay. (He sits down.) Michael Raykirk: Um ... Warrick: So he took you to Pigalle Boulevard in August. Do you remember that? Michael Raykirk: How do you know about that? Warrick: I'm an investigator. Some things I do know, but there's a lot that I don't. Somebody put a hit out on your friend. You want to help us out here? Michael Raykirk: I have an agent friend who I work with who had a bachelor party out here, and Jason hooked us up VIP-style. Quick flashback to: [PIGALLE BOULEVARD STRIP CLUB - NIGHT] (Michael Raykirk and his party are welcomed by Lou Gedda.) Lou Gedda: Hey, how are you! Get over here! Come on! Michael Raykirk: (V.O.) He took us to Moon and LAX and Drai's and then of course, naturally, we ended up at a strip club. And everyone knows the best girls are at Pigalle Boulevard. (The waitress hands Michael Raykirk the check.) Michael Raykirk: (V.O.) It couldn't get any better until the check showed up. Michael Raykirk: Ten grand? The manager said $800 a bottle. We ordered five. Lou Gedda: I hear you don't want to pay what you owe us. Michael Raykirk: No. No, no, no, no. I just think you overcharged us, man. Lou Gedda: No. (Raykirk gets to his feet.) Michael Raykirk: This place is a rip-off. And your girls? They're beat, overrated, and oversized. Get it? (He rips the check in half.) Michael Raykirk: I'm not paying. Lou Gedda: Let's take a walk. [SCENE_BREAK] [PIGALLE BOULEVARD STRIP CLUB - LOU'S OFFICE -- NIGHT] (Lou punches Raykirk in the face, knocking him to the floor. The two bodyguards pick Raykirk up and put him in the barber's chair. They tie his hands behind the chair back.) (Lou sharpens a razor against a leather strap.) Lou Gedda: I'm gonna give you a minute so you can figure out what you want to do. I'm cutting something. But I'm gonna give you the choice of what it's gonna be. Michael Raykirk: No. Lou Gedda: Oh, yeah, yeah. I can slice you here ... (he indicates Raykirk's neck) ... or I can slice you here ... (he indicates Raykirk's groin) (Raykirk starts to cry.) Lou Gedda: Come on, no, no, no. Shh, shh, shh. Shh, shh, shh. Come on, you choose. END OF FLASHBACK. Michael Raykirk: I mean, I was never more scared in my life. You know, he was so sweet enough to give me the choice of my throat or my genitals, so I chose the latter ... so I'd live. Then he charged my card and escorted us out to the parking lot. Oh, here's something really cool. I left with a broken nose, some sore wrists, and some really nice bruises underneath my arms. And I just should've given him the ten grand because I paid my plastic surgeon twice that. Warrick: And you told Jason about all this? Michael Raykirk: Oh, yeah. I mean, he gave this guy Gedda a call right in front of me. Then he cursed him out and he told him he would never take anyone to Pigalle anymore. Warrick: Listen, I'm really sorry about all this. But ... um ... thanks a lot for your time. Michael Raykirk: Oh, yeah. By the way, if you're gonna prosecute this guy, I'm not a witness. There's a reason that I didn't press charges, if you know what I mean. (Raykirk leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BALLISTICS LAB] (Greg takes the gun out of the evidence box and loads it with four bullets. He puts his goggles on and test-fires it.) Greg: Four shots! (Greg fires into the tub of water.) CSI SHOT - The bullets hit the water. (CUT TO: Greg retrieves the bullets out of the tub.) (CUT TO: Greg checks the bullets under the scope.) (He finds something.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY] (Greg reports his findings to Warrick as they walk through the hallway.) Greg: Got an IBIS hit off that gun. (He gives Warrick the report.) Unsolved murder in '93. Victim was found in the desert. His car was found at Pigalle Boulevard, the last place anyone saw him. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE] (Warrick talks with Grissom.) Grissom: Our hit man's good for two murders. The unsolved in '93, where he actually used a gun, and Jason Crewes, who he suffocated. So, who hired him? Warrick: I have a good feeling he works for Gedda. Grissom: Yeah, but we don't work off feelings, do we? Warrick: According to Mr. Hollywood, Jason cost Gedda a lot of money, and he dissed him, which is more than enough for Gedda to order out a hit on someone, even if Jason is Pezzulo's son. Grissom: Any evidence? Warrick: I ran Pigalle's address to find out if there are any more crimes linked to it over the years. I found hundreds: 416s, 413s, 411s ... the list goes on. Grissom: Any consistent suspects? Warrick: Only thing consistent is that the victims refused to file charges and the witnesses refused to give statements. And it's funny enough the cops lost interest in pursuing it. Grissom: What are you saying? Warrick: I'm saying it looks like Gedda is running an old school extortion racket, and you can't do that without having cops on the payroll. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. PIGALLE BOULEVARD STRIP CLUB - PARKING LOT -- DAY] (Warrick drives into the parking lot. He parks the car and gets out.) (He sees the same homeless guy leaning against the building corner and smoking a cigarette. The homeless guy is surprised to see Warrick.) (Warrick notes a man hosing the back of a van. He heads over to the man cleaning the van. The homeless guy slips back behind the building.) (Warrick looks around the area, then checks the side of the building where he finds the homeless guy. The homeless guy doesn't want to talk to Warrick. He tosses his cigarette and starts running.) (Warrick runs after him.) Warrick: Hey! (The homeless guy runs up the steps.) Warrick: I just want to talk! Homeless Guy: I got warrants, man! Warrick: I'm not a cop. Homeless Guy: I don't care. You got a piece. (Warrick catches up with the homeless guy on the building roof.) Warrick: Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you. You live here? Homeless Guy: Pretty much. What do you want? Warrick: You ever see anybody get beat up inside? Homeless Guy: No, no, I never seen none of that. Warrick: Don't make me pull those warrants, man. Homeless Guy: Yeah, I seen guys get beat up. This is strip club strip. Guys get beat up and down this block. Warrick: You ever see the owner beat up anyone? Homeless Guy: Hey, they let me stay here. They're real good to me. Warrick: I didn't ask you that. Homeless Guy: Lots of troublemakers, they come out of there and they get hauled off. That's all I know. Warrick: What do you mean by "hauled off"? (The homeless guy is too scared to say anymore. Warrick looks back at the van down in the parking lot.) [SCENE_BREAK] (Warrick walks over to the van. He tries the back door and finds it locked.) (Warrick looks around, then tries the other van doors. He peers in through the passenger window.) (He turns and walks over to the garbage area. He opens the gate and looks under the heavy lid covering the hole used to burn excess garbage. The hole is smoking and sizzling from something burning inside.) (Warrick uses the crank and opens the lid. He starts to look at what was burning inside when Lou Gedda and his two bodyguards appear.) Lou Gedda: You got a warrant? Warrick: Do I need one? Lou Gedda: I own this block. Unless you're lookin' to get a detail job, you're trespassing. Warrick: What do you do with this? Lou Gedda: I burn meat. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - ROOM] (CLOSE-UP: PHOTO of the bruises on Michael Pacinano's arms.) VICTIM: PACINANO, MICHAEL FILE DATE: 05/03/97 MOUNTING CODE: 39981-19-3411 CASE LVPD 97-03-03-3185 BR LVPD ROUTING 738-192 (Warrick is at the table studying the file and photos. He has an open water bottle and prescription pill bottle next to him.) (Through the window, we see Nick walk past. He's putting on his jacket, sees Warrick in the room and stops.) (CLOSE-UP: PILL BOTTLE LABEL HOFFARTH'S PHARMACY RX 2885L24 DR. R H- WARRICK BROWN TAKE 1 TABLET DAILY MODAFIMIL 100MG REFILLS (1) (As Nick watches, Warrick picks up the pill bottle, takes a pill and pops it while reading. He washes it down with water and continues reading.) (Nick enters the room.) Nick: Hey. Warrick: (doesn't look up) Hey. Nick: What's up? Warrick: (sluggish) Trying to get this warrant for Gedda's property. I'm getting close though. Check out these bruise patterns. (Warrick slides the photos to Nick. Nick doesn't pick them up.) Nick: (points) Hey, what are those? Warrick: What? Nick: Those pills? Warrick: Oh, they're supposed to keep me alert. Nick: Really? Warrick: Yeah. Nick: How long you been taking those? Warrick: I don't know, for a couple months. Nick: Aren't you still taking those sleeping pills, too? Warrick: What's it to you? (Nick walks over to him.) Nick: So now ... you're taking uppers and downers. Warrick: Gimme a break, man. Nick: No, you need to give yourself a break, Warrick. Warrick: Hey, let it go, bro. Nick: No. No, I'm not going to let it go. (Nick opens the pill bottle and throws the pills away. He drops the pill bottle. Warrick stands up and gets into Nick's face.) Nick: You need to take a look at yourself, Warrick. And I care because I'm your friend. (Warrick glares at Nick. Nick stares back. After a moment, Warrick nods and chuckles softly. He pats Nick's arm.) Nick: All right? Warrick: Yeah. (Warrick pats Nick's arm again.) Nick: All right, tell me about these bruises. Warrick: The 415 vic claims he got beat up inside the Pigalle. Couple days later, he dropped all the charges. And then there's the unsolved murder. They find a vic out in the desert, but they find his car outside of Pigalle's. CLOSE-UP: Photo of a dead man out on the desert with a bullet in his forehead. Warrick: Same bruise pattern. Now we got this Hollywood agent who mentions that he also has bruises under his arms. He claims that he was strapped to a barber's chair in Gedda's office. Nick: That should be enough for a warrant. (Nick looks at Warrick and smiles. Warrick nods.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. PD - BRASS' OFFICE -- NIGHT] (It's late at night and the bullpen is dark. Brass is in his office. He presses the speaker button on the phone as he talks with Warrick.) Brass: The judge doesn't think the bruises are enough probable cause to issue a warrant. Warrick: (from phone) What judge? Brass: Greene. INTERCUT WITH: [WARRICK] (Warrick is on the phone.) Warrick: (to phone) When I was running bets for Judge Cohen, she was in on the action. Brass: (to phone) I have no comment. Warrick: You know, these club owners -- they pay a lot of taxes; they fund campaigns; they hand out free drinks, all in exchange for protection. I mean, what can I do? Brass: (to phone) Go to the undersheriff, see if he can use his influence. But I doubt it. (The line disconnects. Brass pick up his glass and drinks.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- NIGHT] (Warrick is angry as he moves quickly through the hallway. He bumps into an officer walking in the opposite direction and abruptly shoves him away as he continues through the hallway.) (He sees Undersheriff Jeff McKeen talking with a couple of officers at the other end of the hallway.) Warrick: (shouts) McKeen! (McKeen turns and sees Warrick headed his way.) Jeff McKeen: (to the two officers) Excuse me a moment. (The two officers leave as Warrick arrives.) Warrick: Judge denied me the warrant. Jeff McKeen: What do you want me to do? Warrick: Get me the warrant. Lou Gedda is getting away with murder. Jeff McKeen: All right, say that I get you the warrant. What are you looking for, something that made armpit bruises? Warrick: The barber's chair in Gedda's office made the armpit bruises. (He looks at Warrick.) Jeff McKeen: I'm agreeing with the judge. (Behind Warrick he sees Grissom talking with an officer.) Jeff McKeen: (shouts) Grissom! (Grissom looks over.) Grissom: (to the officer) Okay. (The officer leaves and Grissom heads over to join Warrick and McKeen.) Jeff McKeen: You need to save your CSI here. What he has is circumstantial based off of weird bruises and a barber chair. Brown needs to get better evidence and leave the rest in our hands. Warrick: I'm sorry, leave what in your hands -- Gedda's money? (Warrick has gone too far. McKeen glares at him, then turns and leaves. Warrick starts to leave, but Grissom grabs his arm.) Grissom: (quietly) Listen to me. Putting Gedda in jail is not gonna solve your problems. You just got the rest of the night off. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. PIGALLE BOULEVARD STRIP CLUB - PARKING LOT -- NIGHT] (Warrick sits in his car outside the Pigalle Strip Club. The back door opens and someone comes out dragging a heavy duffel bag on the ground. Warrick raises his camera and looks through the lens.) (The car parked nearby chirps as she turns the alarm off and drags the duffel back to the trunk.) (She opens the trunk and grabs the duffel bag.) (Warrick runs over with his gun out.) Warrick: Hey! (Candy gasps and turns.) Warrick: What's in the bag? Joanna "Candy": All my stuff. I'm just cleaning out my locker. Warrick: Show me. (She opens the duffel bag and shows him her clothes and stuff.) (Warrick sighs.) Warrick: Here, let me help you with that. (He tucks his gun away and helps her put the duffel bag in the trunk. She closes the trunk.) Joanna "Candy": Thanks. Warrick: I'm sorry. (She heads back inside. Warrick rubs his eyes and heads back to his car.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. PIGALLE BOULEVARD STRIP CLUB (CLUB SIGN) -- NIGHT] [INT. PIGALLE BOULEVARD STRIP CLUB - NIGHT] (The girls dance on the stage while Warrick sits nearby watching. A waitress walks up to him.) Waitress: What can I get you tonight? Warrick: Got any Dom Perignon? Waitress: Mm-hmm. Warrick: What about Cristal? Waitress: We do. We also have DP Rose. Warrick: I' take one of each. (The waitress leaves.) (Across the floor, Warrick sees Lou Gedda standing in his office looking out of the blinds.) (The waitress goes to the bartender and talks with him. He nods. Warrick doesn't see the exchange.) (He does note a woman in the club across the way watching him. He thinks it might be the same woman he helped earlier.) (The bartender is talking on the phone. He turns and glances over at Warrick. Again, Warrick doesn't see this.) (Warrick gets up and heads up the ramp toward the woman.) Warrick: Hey ... (She turns around.) Joanna "Candy": Hey! Warrick: I'm sorry about earlier. I thought you were carrying a dead body in there or something. Joanna "Candy": You're a cop, right? Warrick: (smiles) I'm Warrick Brown. (They shake hands.) Joanna "Candy": I'm Candy. Warrick: Nice to meet you, Candy. So, you work here? Joanna "Candy": Yeah. What do you want? Warrick: Everything. (Across the floor, Lou Gedda watches through the blinds in his office.) [SCENE_BREAK] ("Candy" is giving Warrick a lap dance on his seat in front of the stage.) Warrick: Hey, cheers, girl. (Warrick clinks glasses with a woman off screen.) Girl: Cheers, yeah. Warrick: Hey, let's get out of here, you and me. (Behind them, Grissom passes them as he looks for Warrick.) Joanna "Candy": I'm working. Warrick: Come on, I just want to ask you a few questions. Joanna "Candy": I don't go home with the customers. (Grissom turns and finds Warrick. He taps him on his shoulder. Warrick turns.) Grissom: Pay the bill and let's go. ("Candy" leaves.) Warrick: How'd you know I was here? Grissom: You've been here twice already today. We're leaving. Warrick: Come on, Gris, why don't you sit down and have a drink with us? Grissom: I'm on the clock. Warrick: So am I. Grissom: So you want to get fired. (Warrick stands up.) Warrick: No, I want to let them know I'm here. I figured I'd order a couple bottles and not pay for it and see what happens. Grissom: You think he's that stupid? Warrick: It's worth a try. (The waitress slides her tray with the bill over to him.) Waitress: Here you go, sir. Warrick: Thank you. (He looks at the bill: COMPLIMENTS OF THE HOUSE.) Grissom: (dryly) Well, now you gotta pay for it, 'cause we're not allowed to accept gifts. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. PIGALLE BOULEVARD STRIP CLUB - PARKING LOT -- NIGHT] (Grissom and Warrick exit the club.) Warrick: (sluggish) I'm good to drive, Gris, my car is right here. You gotta admit, though, the girls are pretty fine in there. Listen ... (Grissom opens the car door.) Grissom: Get in the cab, Warrick. (Warrick doesn't want to.) Warrick: My car's right here. Grissom: (insistent) Go on. (Warrick gets in the taxi.) Grissom: Go home. Sleep it off. I'll see you in my office in the morning. (Grissom closes the door and the taxi drives away.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. PIGALLE BOULEVARD STRIP CLUB - PARKING LOT -- NIGHT] (A taxi pulls up in front the Pigalle. Warrick gets out. He closes the door and looks around. He sees "Candy" head for a taxi. She gets inside and the taxi drives away.) Warrick: Hey ... follow that girl. (Warrick gets back inside the taxi. The taxi drives off.) [INT. TAXI (MOVING) - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (Warrick blinks his eyes as he feels woozy.) INSERT FLASH OF: The nightclub with the girls dancing on stage. (Warrick sways a little.) INSERT FLASH OF: A dead body wrapped in plastic and thrown away with the garbage. (Warrick blinks.) INSERT FLASH OF: The barber's chair in Lou Gedda's office. (Warrick rubs his eyes.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. BAR - NIGHT] ("Candy" walks into a bar. She motions to the bartender as she takes her coat off. She sits down at the bar and sighs.) (Warrick walks in. The bartender puts her beer down in front of her.) Joanna "Candy": Thanks. (Warrick sits down next to her.) Joanna "Candy": Cheers. (She drinks.) Joanna "Candy": You don't give up. Warrick: Not tonight. (to bartender) Irish whiskey. Neat. What's your real name, Candy? Joanna "Candy": Joanna. Krumsky. Warrick: Joanna. I'll stick with Candy. (They both laugh.) Warrick: So, now that we're out of the Pigalle, you can help me out with a few questions. Joanna "Candy": Good luck. Warrick: Well, anybody ever get heavy-handed with you? Joanna "Candy": Not with me. I'm a black belt. Warrick: Nice. Not even the owner, Gedda? Joanna "Candy": Not even him. (Joanna gets up and finds a table. The bartender gives Warrick his drink.) Warrick: Thanks. (He takes it and follows her.) (He sits down at the table with her.) Warrick: So what about the customer? They ever get beat-downs? Joanna "Candy": When the guys get drunk and start groping the girls. That's not tolerated. Warrick: You ever see a barber's chair in Gedda's office? Joanna "Candy": No, but I heard about one. It's supposed to be Al Capone's. Warrick: Al Capone. Joanna "Candy": Yeah, but that has to be a rumor. Mob guy with Al Capone's chair -- it's so cliché. Gedda's like the last wise guy left in Vegas. Guess that's his way of keeping his culture alive. Warrick: Scumbags like him don't have culture. Joanna "Candy": Scumbags like him started Vegas. None of these lights would be here if it wasn't for them. Warrick: What's a hot young thing like you doing working in a nasty place like that? Joanna "Candy": Money. The hours. The dancing. Warrick: How about you giving me that last dance of the evening? (She smiles.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. WHITE BEDROOM] (CLOSE-UP: WHITE ORCHID) SERIES of distorted images. Warrick is in a white room. Joanna "Candy": Come here, you. (Warrick laughs.) (He's on a white bed in a white room. Joanna is in a white blouse and standing in front of a round bathroom mirror in front of a sink where the faucets come out of the wall.) (She turns around and raises a large knife at him.) Warrick: (o.s.) What is it? What is it? You kidding me? DISTORTED IMAGES: Warrick is holding a glass and leaning against the wall. Joanna "Candy": (o.s.) Relax. (Joanna holds the knife up and starts toward him.) Warrick: What's that? (Warrick's eyes widen.) (CHANGE TO: Joanna is holding up a pack of four condoms and starts toward him.) Warrick: Put that thing away. Joanna "Candy": (o.s.) It's just for your protection. Warrick: Oh, yeah. (He chuckles and laughs.) (Joanna laughs.) (Joanna opens her blouse and dances for him.) Warrick: (o.s.) Right. Protection. (She throws the blouse at him.) Warrick: I don't need protection from you, girl. (He catches the blouse and smells it.) Joanna "Candy": (o.s.) You want it? Warrick: Come here. (She unties the sarong around her waist.) Joanna "Candy": Doesn't it smell good? Very good. Warrick: (mumbles something) (Warrick is leaning against the wall.) Joanna "Candy": (o.s.) You like trouble, don't you, big boy? Warrick: (o.s.) You-you're a trouble-troublemaker, do you know that? (She's lying on the bed.) Warrick: (o.s.) I like trouble. Joanna "Candy": (o.s.) Hmm. Warrick: (o.s.) trouble ... trouble -- (She licks her lips.) Warrick: (mumbles) Joanna "Candy": (o.s.) Are you scared? Warrick: (o.s.) (mumbles) Come get it. Yeah, like that. Joanna "Candy": (o.s.) Don't -- (Warrick takes his shirt off.) Warrick: (V.O.) Yeah, yeah! JOANNA "CANDY": (V.O.) Yeah. (Sounds of distorted laughter.) Warrick: (V.O.) Yeah, it's all over for you - Here you go. (Warrick chuckles as he undoes his belt. She laughs.) (He staggers a bit and motions to her.) Warrick: (V.O.) Come here. Come here. Come here. Joanna "Candy": (V.O.) What do you got for me? (They kiss.) Warrick: Get over there. (He pushes her toward the bed. They're on the bed kissing.) Warrick: (V.O.) You bad girl. JOANNA "CANDY": (V.O.) Yeah. Warrick: (V.O.) You need a spanking. JOANNA "CANDY": (V.O.) Yeah. Warrick: (V.O.) Yeah, you need to be dealt with. Ah. (Warrick has his eyes closed and has a smile on his face.) Warrick: (V.O.) Yeah, I feel good. (She watches him, then quickly leaves.) Joanna "Candy": (V.O.) Sweet dreams. DISSOLVE OUT. FLASH OF: JOANNA (Her dead eyes are wide open. Her neck is bloodied and she's at an odd angle as if draped out of something, her arms stretched over her head.) [INT. BEDROOM] (The bedroom is dark and tinged green. Warrick's clothes are on the floor and several bottles are scattered around the room. Warrick is still in bed. He stirs.) (He reaches over and finds the pillow next to him empty. She's gone.) (He sits up in bed.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. TAXI (MOVING) -- NIGHT] (Warrick is in the back of a taxicab. He's woozy.) INSERT FLASH OF: Lou Gedda is in his office watching through the blinds. INSERT FLASH OF: Jason Crewes' dead body on the pavement. (Warrick rubs his eyes. He blinks.) INSERT FLASH OF: The barber's chair in Lou Gedda's office. INSERT FLASH OF: The homeless man leans against the building wall smoking a cigarette. (Warrick blinks, trying to clear his vision.) INSERT FLASHES OF: Joanna on the bed, smiling at him. Warrick's laughter is heard. Joanna "Candy": (V.O.) Sweet dreams. (Warrick closes his eyes, his head rolls forward.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. PIGALLE BOULEVARD STRIP CLUB - PARKING LOT -- NIGHT] (Officer cars are there. It's a crime scene. The taxi pulls up and stops. Warrick reaches in his pocket for the cash and pays the driver.) Warrick: Thanks. (He gets out of the car and stops as he gets his bearings.) WARRICK'S POV: His vision is incoherent. He sees Grissom walking over to him. (Warrick walks over to the tape and starts to duck under it. The tape surrounds the area around his car. Grissom stops him.) Grissom: No, no, no! You can't cross the tape! Not this time. (points) This is your car. (Then he sees it. Joanna is draped and lying out the car door, her neck slashed and bloodied.) Warrick: (screams) Nooo! Nooo! No, this is wrong! She didn't do anything! SMASHTO BLACK.

Plan: A: A man's body; Q: What is thrown from a garbage truck that is being chased by the police? A: mob ties; Q: What is the nightclub that the victim was connected to? A: the club owner; Q: Who does Warrick believe is responsible for the death of the limo driver? A: his job; Q: What does Warrick's addiction to pills and his sudden reckless lifestyle negatively impact? A: another mob-related murder; Q: What does Warrick become the chief suspect in? Summary: A man's body is thrown from a garbage truck that is being chased by the police. The victim was a limo driver connected to a nightclub with mob ties. Warrick believes the club owner is responsible and sets out to prove it. Unfortunately, Warrick's addiction to pills and a sudden reckless lifestyle negatively impact his job. Later, Warrick becomes the chief suspect in another mob-related murder.

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Raylan: I'm not married, if that's what you're wondering. She kicked you out. Dickie: There's supposed to be $3 million in here, Limehouse. Way north of $3 million. It's all spent, except what you see right there. Dickie: I believe the terms of the deal are I receive the money and then we are through, ain't that right? That's right. Those are the terms. Dickie: Then you take it back. I'm gonna kill you, Raylan. Maybe not tonight, maybe not tomorrow, but some day, you'll be walking down the street, and I'm gonna put a bullet right in the back of your skull, and you're gonna drop. [ Woman screams ] Raylan: Why wait? Wynn: So we're clear... The other night, you throw down the gauntlet to a trigger-happy U. S. Marshal, and this morning, you remember you have pressing business out of town? I told you... I'll be back in a couple hours. Wynn: And what if Givens comes by, wanting to finish the game? You may tell him that he is welcome to wait. [ Sighs ] You know, you disappoint me, Wynn. Word around the Detroit campfire is that you were a wild man. Comes to a little nut-cutting, suddenly you want to bitch out. Don't be like the rest of them. You can't have the Duffy without the Wynn. Wynn: I'll see you in a couple of hours. Raylan: Hey. Hey. Morning. Raylan: Just, uh, getting some coffee, and then I'll... You can take a seat. Raylan: No, I don't... Want to be in your way. You're setting up. No, I'm not. Raylan: Okay. If I had eggs, I'd make you breakfast. Raylan: Well, thank you. It's afternoon somewhere. Raylan: Listen, Lindsey... stop. Raylan: You don't even know what I'm gonna say. I think you're gonna apologize again for not giving me a full accounting of every second of your life before you heartlessly accepted the gift of my feminine virtue. Raylan: Oh. Well, when you put it that way, I guess don't owe you an apology. First time you came in here, I knew you were going through something. Raylan: [ Chuckles ] To tell you the truth, I felt a little bad taking advantage of you. Raylan: Really? I mean, not so bad, I don't plan on doing it again. Raylan: Listen, Lindsey... you said that already. Raylan: [ Sighs ] I'm about to become a father. I know. I saw the sonogram. It's a good-looking kid. It's got its daddy's eyes. An unfortunate nose, though. That must be your ex's. I'm gonna get some limes in the back. I won't be a sec. Raylan: Sorry, guys. We're closed. Heard you had a little mischief in here the other night. Raylan: Well, I wasn't aware that made the news. We had a friend who was here. Raylan: He tell you about the hot wings? This friend of ours... I'm betting you wouldn't forget him. He looks like he even sh1ts blond. Raylan: I don't suppose you two fellas are from Detroit, are you? That's a hell of a guess. Raylan: Where you buy your suit? Gallo's on Michigan Avenue? I don't buy suits. Raylan: Boss buy them for you? Our boss doesn't buy us anything. Raylan: When I first saw him, he was wearing this little gray sharkskin number... made him look like a kid playing a gangster in a school play. We don't work for that gentleman. Raylan: Oh. You work for his daddy. So, what? Theo Tonin decided little Sammy overstepped when he cut Quarles off, decided to send some new muscle instead? Hence, you two knuckleheads. You don't want to take that tone. Raylan: Why is that, champ? I get the impression they only keep you around so little Sammy doesn't feel like the biggest asshole in the room. [ Glass shatters ] Raylan. Raylan: Oh, hey. I was just telling these guys we're closed. And I believe they were leaving. Another time, then. Raylan: [ Clicks tongue ] Good. See? There's gonna be another time. [ Door closes ] I'll clean that up. ♪ On this lonely road ♪ ♪ trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪ ♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I'm fighting for my soul ♪ ♪ God get at your boy ♪ ♪ you try to bogard ♪ ♪ fall back, I go hard ♪ ♪ on this lonely road ♪ ♪ trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪ ♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I see them long, hard times to come ♪ Art: Firing a shot in the air in a crowded bar. That could be a hiccup. Raylan: Yeah. Art: Let's see. You knew that you had to get the patrons out of harm's way, and they'd already failed to heed your order to evacuate. You knew that there was nothing above you but your own empty apartment, so you fired a shot in the air, even though you knew it was against marshals policy, because you thought it was the only thing they would hear above the music. Write it like that. Raylan: Thanks, Art. Art: Well, good news is, now we have a nice federal charge against Mr. Quarles. Raylan: [ Sighs ] Art: We just start with the bartender, and we round up some of the other... Raylan: Bartender doesn't make a good witness. Art: What's wrong with him? Raylan: Her. Art: Oh, Jesus, Raylan. Raylan: It doesn't matter, Art. We want Quarles for more than this piddly sh1t. Art: [ Scoffs ] Threatening a federal officer is more than piddly sh1t. Raylan: We had Dickie Bennett for actually trussing up an officer, trying to brain him with a Louisville slugger. How'd that work out? Art: Look, Raylan, just pick him up, alright? We got patrons in there we can use as witnesses. If we don't have Quarles threatening you, we just got you firing shots into the ceiling. Wait just a second. Raylan: Why? I thought it was a top priority that I go bring in Quarles for the capital punishment of hurting my feelings. Art: It is, but the son of a bitch is threatening your life. I can't let you go by yourself. Raylan: Tim and Rachel are at Tramble. You honestly expect me to wait for them? Art: No. Raylan: No way. Art: Way. [ Whistles ] Dickie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want I should open it up? Might not be the wisest idea given the surroundings. Dickie: Well, am I gonna see a little something-something in there I haven't seen before? Hmm? Maybe something that might make me the Harlan millionaire I was always meant to be. You'll see 46 and change. Plus a couple of receipts. Dickie: Ooh. Is that right? Receipts, too. I tell you what... you can just leave that sh1t shut, brother. You still not gonna take it, huh? Dickie: [ Laughs ] Oh, now, I will. I will take it... just as soon as it starts adding up to everything I'm rightfully owed. You understand? Till then, you know, you can't really blame me for wanting a real good reason to hold my head up when I try to explain to people why it is that Ellstin Limehouse somehow sees fit to cheat me out of my family's fortune. Much as you know Mr. Limehouse, you really want it to get back to him that you're running your mouth on his reputation? Think he the type to sit still for something like that? Dickie: [ Chuckles ] Is that the best you got, sister? Whatever you decided with the cooler, Mr. Limehouse said to give you the ride back home. Dickie: Oh! Well, that is just... that's real considerate. But I'll tell you what... I think I'm just gonna have these bastards call me a cab, you know? The least they could do. You know what I'm saying? Real good to see you. Whoa! Tim: What do you think's in the cooler? Rachel: Probably not a human head. Tim: Mm. That'd be cool. If you're here to talk about running me in the special election, there's some things we gonna straighten out first. Such as? Such as, this is staying my office. No more talk about putting me in a broom closet. I guess if I were to offer to back yet another of your campaigns, I'd say that as long as I'm putting up the money, I'd put you anywhere I goddamned please. Fortunately, I'm not here to pony up. In fact, I'm here to take back what I previously ponied. You can't seriously expect me to give you that money back. Well, that's exactly what I expect. And I'm very serious. Well, it's gone... spent. Aww. On what? Campaign expenses. [ Laughs ] I do believe my wife dipped into it a little bit. Mr. Napier, I am not an unreasonable man. I don't expect the actual bills that I gave you. Just give me bills of equivalent worth, and we'll call it even. I don't have it. Not even close. That is disappointing. I don't know how in the hell you expect me to get that money. As I was saying, I am a reasonable man, and I'm happy to help you find a way to square up. I don't know suppose you'd already happen to have something in mind, would you? For starters, an address of some local miscreant known to have large amounts of cash lying around, known further to have secrets that would discourage him from calling the police if someone were to relieve him of it. You want me to find you a drug dealer to rob? You know, I couldn't have said it better myself. And if said miscreant in question happens to pay Boyd Crowder for protection... [ Clicks tongue ] so much the better. Sure you want to poke that bear? That bear poked me. Mr. Quarles, you already managed to lose me the sheriff's office. Now you want to involve me in an armed-robbery conspiracy? Actually, I'm gonna need you to find me a buyer for the sh1t that I take off of this guy. So technically, that makes it a drug conspiracy, as well. And what if I say no? Oh, you don't want to say no. Dickie: Oh! What... Excuse me. Rodney. Hey, boy. What's up with the hot-rod entourage here, rod? Last time we saw each other, I had a gun pointed at my face. Dickie: Yes, you did. You and me both had ourselves held up, man. And then the next time I come down here, some squirrelly little sh1t from Crowder's crew tried to muscle me. Dickie: Oh! You got to be kidding me. I ain't kidding. You can believe it. Sometimes I'm glad your daddy didn't live to see what's happening to the drug business. Dickie: Thank you. But you didn't ask me down here to pay my respects. Dickie: That is the truth, and we should get down to business. If you wouldn't mind, please, first, call off your dogs a bit here. My friend. All right, now, as I started to say, at the time she passed, my mama... she had a little over $3 million. Do you know where to find it? Dickie: Well, I know who's got it, okay? And he has been doing everything he can think of to try to get me to believe that there's only $46,000. He's been sticking it in this little cooler, trying to get me to take it. "Here, take it." I've been saying... get to the "who"! The suspense is killing me. Dickie: Ellstin Limehouse. [ Chuckles ] So, what's the plan? We gonna shoot our way into Nobles holler? Dickie: Yeah, at some point, we are gonna have to shoot our way in there and grab the money and get back across the bridge before they knew what hit them. That's not exactly my usual line. Although $3 million... might justify a man stepping outside himself. Dickie: It just might. Yeah, I am aware that, uh, we need to find out exactly where my money is before we do anything. And that is exactly why I asked you down here. Not how it works, Dickie. I'm willing to make some calls for you, but you're gonna have to do the heavy lifting. Dickie: I don't think you understand, man. I can't just be strolling around out in the open, asking people, "hey, do you happen to know where my money is that Limehouse is hiding?" At sundown, we're headed back to Memphis. You best get to moving. Okay, so, that would be the end of the discussion right there. Johnny: I say we pop him and be done with it. Ava: Before he leads us to the money? Arlo: Just so long as it's not before he suffers some. Ava: How do you suggest we do that, Arlo? With the feds watching him? We need to stop wasting our time on Dickie Bennett. We should be out there showing the flag. Boyd: Maybe if you spent less time questioning your orders and more time following them, our protection money wouldn't be dropping off. Johnny: Our protection money is dropping off because since. Delroy disappeared and we inherited all of his whores, there are people out there paying money... they don't know what they're paying for. Boyd: All right, that's enough. I'm gonna kill Dickie Bennett. And when I do, I'm gonna take my time. But not before he leads us to the promised land. Johnny, go back out there and see what else you can find. Art: When I was posted in Manhattan, a chief deputy there, this big guy named Langston, he used to spend one day a week in the field. Said it was the only way he could "feel the pulse." Raylan: "The pulse"? Art: The pulse. Raylan: Of the street? Art: Yeah, man. New York in the '80s. Raylan: So, that's why you come along? "Feel the pulse." Art: Nah, some asshole threatened to kill one of my deputies. I'm the only one that gets to do that. Raylan: I'm touched. Art: You know what? [ Sighs ] I might ought to just go by myself. Raylan: Because...? Art: Because when he sees you, he's liable to start shooting. Raylan: All right, just admit it... you're worried about me, worried I'm gonna get shot. [ Engine turns over ] Art: I'm worried I'm gonna get shot. [SCENE_BREAK] Who's your new friend? He's down from Lexington. Hi. Guess if the D.E. A was gonna send an undercover in here, hard to imagine they'd choose him. Thank you. Hi. Wow. Quite a place. [ Locks click ] Uh... I-I-I thought you said I d-d-didn't look like a cop. That don't mean I think you look right. Is it true they test a samurai sword by cutting through paper? [ Chuckles ] This is a katana. Ooh. [ Chuckles nervously ] My granddad pulled this off a dead jap officer at. Shuri castle... Okinawa. The greatest generation at work. He was a lying old sack of sh1t. Probably just bought it. What you looking for, brother? What you got? I got a fresh batch of crystal, coke, pills, little bit of smack. Got guns, too, if you're willing to take a drive. Also, if you're looking for company, I got this little 16-year-old honey just up the hill... 50 bucks. Uh, no, I, uh, I-I-I'll just look at the, you know, the crystal, you know? Sure thing. You just be real careful how you move around in here, pop. [ Gun cocks ] Don't touch sh1t till you pay. Whoa! Holy sh1t. You see how clear that is, brother? Hold it up to the sun, you can burn ants. Oh, that's just... just beautiful. I mean, don't you guys worry about leaving all this stuff out in the open? Cops come in here, they're coming in to search. They'll find it even if it's hidden inside the wall. That's a good point, but, you know, not just about the cops. I mean, where I'm from, the dealers rip each other off all the time. Yet you have your trunk unlocked. People don't steal from us. Is that so? Your questions are starting to get on my nerves, brother. I think it's time you did your business and went on your way. Sure thing. Sure thing. But I-I-I-I-I-I do have one little question, though. How do you get that rust spot off of your sword? Oh! What a dick! [ Panting ] I was starting to think the only flavor they served around here was vanilla. Rachel: I'm a deputy United States marshal. Oh, how nice for you. Rachel: I need to talk to your boss. Whoa. Easy, now, sister. [ Laughs ] Unless you have a warrant, there just ain't no way. Rachel: I don't need a warrant to talk. Get out of my way. Mnh. Rachel: You touched me. Would you like me to do it again? Oh! [ Coughs ] Something we can help you with? Rachel: You can start by telling your boys to put their guns on the floor and then back away from them. Or, I guess, maybe you can have one of them shoot me. But is Dickie Bennett really worth dying in a federal gas chamber? And those are the only two options you see for us, huh? Tim: There's a third. You could die right here. [ Knock on door ] Okay. Okay. Dickie. Jesus. Dickie: [ Laughing ] Whoa! You know Boyd Crowder runs this place now? Dickie: "Dickie, Jesus"? Ho! Is that any way to greet a dear friend? [ Sighs ] Dickie... no, no, no. You can't stay here. No. Dickie, please. If Boyd finds us here, he'll kill us. Dickie: Yeah, okay. Listen, listen to me. I need your help. Okay? And if you can't help, I really. No, I can't think of a better place to meet the reaper than right here. What do you mean, you need my help? Dickie: Okay, here's the thing. Here's the thing. Um, you see, over the years, we've had to spend some time up in Nobles, hiding out from some man or in trouble. These friends of yours who are doing the hiding... they... I'm wondering if they maybe might have heard something about where Limehouse is hiding his money. You go up to Nobles looking to rob Ellstin Limehouse, you are liable to end up fed to hogs. Dickie: To the hogs. Yeah, I know. If I die here or on the moon, it don't really make a whole lot of difference. Ellen May, I need your help. Okay. Dickie: Take... take your time. Limehouse keeps his money buried under the church. Dickie: Ellen May, I am disappointed in you. What? Dickie: [ Laughs ] Every kid in Harlan grew up hearing that right there, that little fairy tale. Nobody believes that. Come on. No, my... my friend Trixie, she saw it with her own eyes, so... So, you need to promise me something. Dickie: Okay. I just want you to promise me that if you ever find yourself running things that you'll make me queen. Art: Michigan plate. That'd be a hell of a coincidence. Raylan: It's not. Theo Tonin sent them. Art: And you know this how? Raylan: They came by my place this morning. Art: You don't think that's something you should have told your chief? Raylan: What are you talking about? I just told you. Art: You told me you were doing all right, that you were drinking too much but basically getting by. You remember that? Raylan: Mm-hmm. What's your point? Art: Even under ideal circumstances, Raylan, the prospect of first-time fatherhood can make a man feel unmoored. Raylan: "Unmoored"? Art: Oh, shut up. I'm just feeling my way through this. Raylan: Art, I've already got a daddy. Art: Yeah, I've met your daddy. Raylan: Fair enough. Continue. Art: To be clear, I just don't need you to be any more reckless than normal. All right? Raylan: You really are afraid of getting shot, aren't you? Art: Whatever your failings are gonna be as a father, I'm pretty sure that your child is gonna be better off if you manage to stay above ground long enough to make his acquaintance. [SCENE_BREAK] Johnny: We got ourselves a problem. Boyd: What, Dickie Bennett's on his way to Hawaii with his mama's money on the seat beside him? Johnny: No. It ain't Dickie Bennett. I sent the collection boys out there to see Parker and. Longbaugh on account of them shorting Arlo last week. Arlo: The hell, you say! Shorting on me? Ava: Jesus. It ain't rocket science. If anybody wants to know what happened to Delroy, you just say that he stopped paying and they best not go down the same road. Johnny: It ain't about Delroy, either. Boyd: What is it about, Johnny? What did they do this time? Johnny: Nothing. They're dead. He wasn't there. Wynn: I never told you he'd be there. I told you that was the last place I saw him. But there was someone there, though. Wynn: And I told you... he went there to face off with a U.S. marshal. Yeah, but you didn't tell us the marshal lived upstairs. You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you sent us there expecting him to take care of us. Wynn: Or you'd take care of him, have to go on the run... either way. Whoa. A man doesn't talk like that unless he's holding the nuts. Ah. [ Gun cocks ] Wynn: It's nothing personal. I just figured the more soldiers Quarles has down here, the more tenuous my position becomes. Did you figure if you didn't put us together with him, we'd just go away? Wynn: I figured it would buy me some time to cut a deal... help you in exchange for a guarantee that I don't get left out in the cold. Hmm. Well, how about you help us in exchange. In exchange for your lives? Wynn: That sounds a little odd coming from the guy not holding the gun. Did you help Quarles because of the guns he had or because of who was behind him? Theo Tonin... he carries this ear around in his pocket. Wynn: I'm sorry. It sounded like you said... yeah, yeah. It's a human ear. And, uh, whenever he wants to get some guy's attention, he just takes out the ear and he starts talking into it. Wynn: Hmm. What does he say? I don't think it really matters. Boyd: Jimmy, where's that neighbor lady? Jimmy: Collection boys are sitting on her. Ava: You sure she didn't call this in? Boyd: Well, if she had, you got to think, at the very least, we'd have a squad car out here by now... even in Harlan. Go get her. Johnny: As if our protection business wasn't already halfway down the shitter. Boyd, this is not good. Boyd: Johnny, check the closets underneath the sink. See if you can't find any household cleaners. Johnny: Why? Boyd: Well, he poured bleach over everything he touched. I'd like to know if he found that bleach here or he brought it with him. Johnny: What the hell difference does that make? Boyd: Well, if he brought it with him, he is a pro... not some tweaker pulling a crime of opportunity. Go. Ma'am, I-I am so sorry. I was hoping to spare you this sight. Oh, glad you didn't. At my age, I got to take my pleasures where I can find them. Boyd: Meaning? Meaning I'm tickled to see these two sumbitches dead. Hope they suffered some first. Boyd: Well, I suppose that explains why you didn't call the police. Police didn't do sh1t when these two killed one of my dogs last year... Togo. Used to bark at all the late-night comings and goings. Come outside one morning, found him shot dead in my yard. Boyd: That's awful to hear. Togo got 'em back, though. Boyd: Togo did? Your dead dog? Who else we talking about? Boyd: Well, how did Togo do that? How did he get 'em back? I know it was him sent that husky-looking fella to do this here. Ava: You saw the man who did this? That's correct. Boyd: He was heavyset? Wouldn't have called him skinny. Boyd: But you... you did say he was husky-looking. He was. Looked like a husky. You know, sled dog? It was the eyes. Even from across the street, I could see 'em... just like a husky. Boyd: But the man you saw... the husky-looking fella that Togo sent... Bluest eyes I ever saw. Dickie: We got it. You said, "go figure it out." Did you not? And what'd I do? I went ahead and I figured the hell out of it, man. See, what I did is, I was like, "wait a second, now... Ellen May." I'm thinking she's got to have. Dickie, what'd you find?! Dickie: Limehouse hides his money beneath the floorboards buried in the dirt underneath Nobles church. [ Laughs ] How 'bout them apples, huh? You know, I think I'm gonna need me a bear hug. I'm sorry, Dickie. Dickie: Bring it in. I'm greedy. I'm not suicidal. Dickie: Wait, wait, wait, wait, Rodney. We had ourselves a deal, man. This ain't the Rodney I know. Come on. I thought I had a brother in you, man. You know, mama always said you had the balls of a man about half your size. Out of respect for your late mother, I'm gonna let that one go. My advice? Call Limehouse, get your cooler full of cash, and get out of here! Let's go. You federal storm troopers get what you needed? Tim: Yes, Mr. Dunham, and on behalf of a grateful nation... [ cellphone beeps ] Go to hell. Tim: The marshals service would like to thank you for your troubles. Boyd: Mr. Napier. It's sheriff Napier... least until next week... which means you two are in some seriously deep sh1t. Boyd: Well, I'd be less concerned about the sh1t we're in and more concerned about what you're gonna have to do to stay alive till your term ends. You don't scare me. I ain't some half-wit gun thug that you think you can just... Boyd: Just so we're clear, I ain't some half-wit gun thug, neither. What do you want? Boyd: Robert Quarles just killed two men under my protection. I didn't have nothing to do with that. Boyd: Whether he did it out of spite or stupidity, I'm not sure. But what I am sure of is that you're the one who told him who to hit. I didn't have nothing to do with that. Boyd: Just like I'm sure you're gonna be the one to tell me how to find him. You want to count it? Dickie: Uh, no. Not if it's still adding up to 46 and change or whatever. What made you change your mind? Tim: All right, gentlemen. We have reason to believe this money represents ill-gotten gains and is therefore seizable by the marshals service under title 18, part 1, chapter 46 of the U. S. Legal code. Dickie: Oh! Ho-ho! Uh, that right there... that would be my money. Rachel: You want it back, all you got to do is show a court the legal means by which you obtained it. May I go? Tim: No, actually, I'm afraid you both are gonna have to stay with us while we wait for a warrant to go up into Nobles. Rachel: Wouldn't want you to be tempted to tip your friends we were coming. [ Gasps ] Have a seat. I'll handle this. Hey. Oh, sh1t. Raylan: U.S. marshals. Get your hands where I can see them. [ Groans ] Raylan: Step to the car. You know, there was a day when I would have said nobody could stealth me. Raylan: Yeah? What happened? Lose your edge or just realize you weren't that good to begin with? Maybe a little of both. [ Chuckles ] Art: Sooner or later, old age humbles us all. Raylan: Look at that. Concealed weapon. Art: That's not good for a convicted felon. Raylan: Mnh-mnh. What, did you pull my rap sheet? Art: Educated guess. Raylan: You want to tell us what's going on here? Why don't you be more specific? Art: Is Quarles in that apartment? Why don't you guys just walk away, let nature take its course? Raylan: Yeah, why don't you shut the hell up? Not like the world wouldn't be a better place. Art: This is not Detroit. Don't say I didn't warn you. Why would he go to Harlan? I told you... he barely speaks to me. Now, please let me go. [ Grunts ] Aah! Raylan: U.S. marshals! Put that weapon down! Art: Hands behind your head! Raylan: Put the weapon down. I'm walking out of here. Raylan: No, that ain't gonna happen. You want to see this kid's insides? Raylan: That ain't gonna happen, either. Give me a chance to get to my gun. Maybe this could be our time. Aah! My leg, God damn it! Art: On your bellies! Hands behind your head! Raylan: Where's Quarles? He's not here! Art: Move! Raylan: Where is he? Where's Quarles? What do you mean? Raylan: I mean, where is he? Aah! I don't know! I thought he'd be here, damn it. Raylan: He told you he'd be here? Why would he tell us anything? Raylan: You work for the man. Do you not? Where do you get this from? Art: [ Chuckles ] Theo Tonin sent a couple of guys down here to take out the trash. Raylan: You don't think that's something you might have mentioned before? You ever get the feeling God's laughing at you? Art: Why? Just 'cause we shot the guy that's looking to kill the guy that you're just dying to see dead? You don't say much, do you? Mr. Quarles. Dare I even hope that you have come to settle your tab? Actually, I'm looking for a place to lay low for a while. Lay low while you, uh, figure a way to square things with your friends in Detroit? Is that a guess? 'Cause that's a good one. You know, I think we could see clear to extend our hospitality. But that would, uh, put you critically in our debt. You see that? Of course. You also see that, uh, it is not wise to let a man get so far into debt without insisting he first settle the debt already owed. Thank you kindly. Well, that's a good start. When you think I'm gonna be getting the rest of it? Bag's not empty yet. Do I look like a drug dealer to you? That's pretty smart, holding all your meetings in a place like this. [ Inhales deeply ] The smell of blood in the air. Plus, it gives you an excuse to hold a knife in your hand. There's no knife in my hand now, Mr. Quarles. Now, you seem like a resourceful man. I'm sure you'll find a way to turn that bag into something I'd happily take off of your hands. And when you do, you know where to find me. Good day, Mr. Limehouse. Mr. Quarles. [ Cellphone rings ] Ohh. Sheriff. This is kismet. I was just about to call you. Is that a fact? How come? Well, it turns out I need a place to unload the spoils of my earlier endeavors. Why I called. You have an idea for me? I do. But I want to make sure after I tell you, I don't ever hear from your sorry ass again. Sheriff, trust me... the pleasure will be all mine. All right. There's a whorehouse, but they also deal to the Johns. They ought to be able to take whatever you got. It's called Audry's. Audry's. Bye-bye. All right, you got 30 seconds. I'm on vacation. I'm having a sandwich. Wynn: Uh, Mr. Tonin, I wanted to just make sure you, uh, were aware of the situation down here. You mean that my guys got snatched by the marshals before they could get to Quarles? Yeah, I'm aware of it. What's your name, again? Wynn: Uh...Duffy, sir. Duffy. Duffy, yeah. I think I remember my son Sammy mentioning you. Wynn: Oh, uh... Oh. I'm glad to hear that. Sammy's an impressive young man. He's a moron. What do you want? Wynn: Uh...Well, I was wondering, sir... do you intend on sending more men down here to... To kill Bobby Quarles? Yeah, I plan on sending more. I loved him like a son. But he's wasted my money, he threatened my actual son. And that other sh1t... Jesus. Wynn: Well, that's the thing, sir. Um...[ Clicks tongue ] I don't know if your money has been wasted. Bobby was onto something down here, and just because he's gone off track, no reason to turn your back on the whole thing. Mm-hmm. So, when Quarles is gone, you want to step up. Is that about right? Wynn: Yes. No. Wynn: Okay. May I ask why, sir? I don't know you. I'll tell you what... you deliver Quarles, show me you can get things done. Price I gave those other assholes was $100,000 dead, $200,000 if Sammy gets a chance to, uh... Talk to him about putting a gun in his face. You know Bobby like I do, you'll settle for the hundred. Wynn: Yes, sir. Thank you, Mr. Tonin. I'll be in touch. You hope. Oh. Hi! [ Laughs ] Ohhh, honey! Think we're about to have us some fun. Don't you think he looks like that guy, from the butterfly movie? The one about the time traveler? No! The one about the, like, prison island or whatever. Ladies, as much as I would love to get to the bottom of who it is that you think that I look like and all the kinds of fun that we could having together, the reason that I'm here is 'cause the mongoloid tending bar inside said this is the place where I could find the guy who runs the joint. [ Cellphone rings ] Huh. Wait a second. No, no, no. Don't you go anywhere. Where the hell have you been? Wynn: I've spent the last two hours as a guest of the U.S. marshals service. Let me guess. Our friend deputy Givens has been tangling with a couple of Detroit's finest. Wynn: How is it you know that? I saw him bracing one in front of my building... guy named Sarno. It's nice to know at least that Theo cares enough to send the very best. Did you give them my address? Wynn: Didn't see as I had much choice. I don't blame you. I know Sarno. He gets people to talk. Wynn: The only thing anyone's telling him at the moment is "you have the right to remain silent." Well. I'll have to thank deputy Givens when I see him next. Wynn: I thought you were gonna kill him next time you see him. What's the price they put on my head? Wynn: They didn't say. [ Electricity crackles ] Boyd: Strip him. Keep that chain long. Try to keep him from sh1tting the bed. I trust when he wakes up, you ladies will find a way to keep him from thinking about how to escape his predicament. Yes, sir. Boyd: Hello? Anyone there? Wynn: Who is this? Boyd: My name is not your concern, Mr... Wynn Duffy. Your concern is for the fate of the man whose phone this is. Wynn: Is he alive? It was hard to tell. Boyd: Oh, he's alive. Do you want him to stay that way? Wynn: You know, that's a very good question, Mr. Crowder. Boyd: Well, I don't believe I told you my name. Wynn: It's not hard to put together the pieces of that particular Jigsaw puzzle. Boyd: [ Sighs ] Well, I hear my guest here's worth some money. How much? Wynn: $100,000 dead, $200,000 alive. Boyd: Well, I suppose a clever man might under report that bounty, trying to keep a bigger share than what he gives his partner. Wynn: Are we partners now? Boyd: Well, as far as this goes. Mr. Duffy, can I trust you to find your way down to Harlan? Wynn: Yeah, you can trust me to do that, Mr. Crowder. Would you say you'd be willing just to kill him to eliminate any chance of his wriggling free? Boyd: Well, as we speak, he's unconscious, being stripped naked, and chained to a bed. I think we can handle him. Wynn: Don't say I didn't warn you. Art: You have to go through this every time? It's exhausting. Raylan: [ Clicks tongue ] Seems we agree on most of the particulars. Art: Well, good. You might get out of here in time to go join the raid team. Raylan: Raid team? Art: Tim and Rachel got a line on that missing Bennett money... already recovered $46,000 of it. They're just waiting for a warrant for the rest. Raylan: What's the warrant for? Art: This church down in Nobles holler. Apparently, it's, uh, under the floorboards. Raylan: I'll pass. Art: What do you mean, "pass"? I need that money, Raylan. Raylan: I know, Art, but there's nothing under that church. That's an old story. Art: You find it, then. Raylan: Tell you what... I'm gonna go down to Harlan county and talk to the outgoing sheriff, see if he can get us any info on Quarles. And if, along the way, I trip over $3 million, I'll bring it back to you. Rachel: Thank you, your honor. [ Cellphone rings ] Good to go. Tim: Now you can go. Dickie: Oh, no, no, no. Now you can go. We insist. Don't tell me you're fool enough to believe there's money under the church. Dickie: I...Told you, man. We got this on... it's, like, stone-cold eyewitness authority. Then your stone-cold eyewitness authority is either lying or old. Limehouse hasn't used the church in years. Dickie: Well, then what is he using now? What makes you think I'd tell you? Dickie: I think that you would tell me because you want me to help you get yourself a real sweet... Piece of my money, man. I don't really see any other reason for you to be standing 'round here talking to me. Man won't let us change with the times. Think you might have had experience dealing with someone like that yourself. Dickie: So... Where's my money, man? [ Chuckles ] Are you really willing to go all the way on this? Dickie: Have you been paying attention, man? I would rather die trying to get it than die because I don't have it, man. All right, then. We're gonna need a crew. Can't use anyone from the Nobles. They'll stay with me once Limehouse is gone, but they won't go against him directly. Dickie: Don't tell me you want me to call Rodney, man. No. Dickie: That's the last thing I want. No. We're gonna need someone with particular skills. Dickie: Sounds to me like... You have someone in mind. I do. And I guarantee you ain't gonna like it. His initials are "Boyd Crowder."

Plan: A: control; Q: What does Quarles try to maintain in his war with Boyd? A: Crowder; Q: Who is the drug dealer on the payroll of? A: his supplies; Q: What does Quarles take from the drug dealer? A: Theo Tonin; Q: Who is Quarles' boss? A: Adam Arkin; Q: Who plays Theo Tonin? A: hired guns; Q: What does Theo Tonin send to deal with Quarles? A: ( Michael Ironside; Q: Who is the hired gun sent by Theo Tonin to deal with Quarles? A: Chris Tardio; Q: Who is the second hired gun sent to deal with Quarles? A: Wynn Duffy; Q: Who did Raylan put in contact with Theo? A: Quarles' hostage; Q: Who did Raylan and Art rescue? A: the Detroit hitmen; Q: Who do Raylan and Art arrest? A: Noble's Holler; Q: Where does Quarles flee to? A: Limehouse; Q: Who tells Quarles he can lay low as long as he has the money? A: Sheriff Napier; Q: Who did Boyd intimidate into turning on Quarles? A: a trap; Q: What does Boyd lure Quarles into? A: Boyd Tasers Quarles; Q: How does Boyd kill Quarles? A: two prostitutes; Q: Who strip Quarles and tie him to a bed? A: prison; Q: Where is Dickie released from after being tasered? A: Dickie; Q: Who convinces Erroll to help him find the Bennett fortune? A: the Bennett fortune; Q: What does Dickie try to worm his way back into? A: his associates; Q: Who is used by Tim and Rachel to steal Dickie's money? A: Dickie's forty thousand dollars; Q: What do Tim and Rachel take from Errol? Summary: Quarles tries to maintain control in his war with Boyd by killing a drug dealer on the Crowder payroll, taking his supplies. His boss in Detroit, Theo Tonin ( Adam Arkin ), sends hired guns ( Michael Ironside and Chris Tardio) to deal with Quarles. Embarrassed by Raylan, they find Wynn Duffy and put him in contact with Theo. Wynn takes them to Quarles' motel room, but they are followed by Raylan and Art, who rescue Quarles' hostage and arrest the Detroit hitmen. Quarles flees to Noble's Holler, where Limehouse tells him he can lay low as long as he has the money, which Quarles does not. Unbeknownst to Quarles, Boyd has intimidated Sheriff Napier into turning on him, and lures Quarles into a trap. Boyd Tasers Quarles unconscious, ordering two prostitutes to strip him and tie him to a bed. Released from prison, Dickie tries to worm his way back into the Bennett fortune, but his associates are used by Tim and Rachel, who seize Dickie's forty thousand dollars from Errol, but Dickie convinces Erroll to help him go against Limehouse to find the real fortune. Erroll adds that to get the Bennett fortune, they will need Boyd.

[OPENING TITLES] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. RIPON, CITY HALL COURTYARD - DAY] May 1914 Speaker: Last June saw Emily Davison crushed to death beneath the hooves of the king's horse! Will the summer of 1914 prove as fatal for the hopes of women? It cannot! This historic by-election can be the first step of the journey to women's equality! Woman: If you're so keen on women's rights, let a woman speak! Man: But why stop there? Let's get the dogs up and listen to them bark! Speaker: Women! Women...are thrown out of jail...! [Branson appears next to Sybil in the crowd.] Branson: Are you all right, milady? Lady Sybil: Isn't it exciting? Speaker: Only to be dragged back inside! Man: You're an idiot! [Isobel sees Sybil in the crowd and pushes through to reach her.] Isobel Crawley: Sybil, I think it's time for Branson to take you home! Lady Sybil: Not yet. Isobel Crawley: I think so. I applaud your spirit in coming, and I will applaud your discretion when you leave! Lady Sybil: But you agree with everything he says? Isobel Crawley: I do, my dear, but I also know if anything happens to you, Branson will lose his place. Branson: Better safe than sorry, milady. Speaker: ...is an act of mercy. I disagree. [Branson puts an arm around Sybil and pushes a path for her through the jeering crowd.] Branson: The car is just here. Lady Sybil: Women must get the vote, mustn't they, Branson? Why does the prime minister resist the inevitable? Branson: Politicians can't often recognise the changes that are inevitable. [Branson opens the car door for Sybil and she steps in.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. COUNTRY ROAD, MOTOR CAR - DAY] Lady Sybil: I hope you do go into politics. It's a fine ambition. Branson: Ambition or dream? If I do, it's not all about women and the vote for me, nor even freedom for Ireland. It's the gap between the aristocracy and the poor and... Lady Sybil: And what? Branson: I'm sorry. I don't mean to speak against His Lordship. Lady Sybil: Why not? You obviously don't approve of him. Branson: Not as a representative of an oppressive class. But he's a good man, and decent employer. Lady Sybil: Spoken like a true politician. [Branson chuckles.] Lady Sybil: What do I look like? Could you sneak me around the back? I should hate for Papa to see me like this. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MR CARSON'S OFFICE - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mr Carson reads a note.] Mrs Patmore (background): Where? I'm not a mind reader! [Mrs Hughes knocks on the open door.] Mrs Hughes: Mrs Patmore is very cruel to that poor girl. Mr Carson: Mrs Patmore is frightened. Mrs Hughes: Is she right to be? Mr Carson: Well, Dr Clarkson has confirmed she has cataracts. Mrs Hughes: What can be done about it? Mr Carson: There are treatments, but even the best are uncertain. She doesn't want to risk losing what sight she still has. Mrs Hughes: I don't blame her, but it can't go on forever. Mr Carson: No. [Mrs Hughes sees the note in Carson's hand.] Mrs Hughes: Oh, dear. Have you had bad news? I shouldn't have bothered you. Mr Carson: You weren't to know. [Mrs Hughes exits with a glance back at Carson.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVANTS' CORRIDOR - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Sybil enters through the back door. She runs into William as he exits a room holding a candelabra.] Lady Sybil: Oh! William: Excuse me, milady. Lady Sybil: William, will you find Anna and tell her I've gone upstairs? William: Very good, milady. [Sybil goes upstairs. William opens a door and bumps Thomas's elbow, making Thomas spill his drink.] Thomas: You clumsy clodhopper. William: Sorry. Thomas: You will be sorry when I've finished you. Look at this! Mr Bates: Leave him alone. William: Anna, Lady Sybil's back from Ripon. She's gone up to her room. Anna: Thank you. Miss O'Brien: Why does she waste her precious time on politics? Thomas: Hear, hear. Mr Bates: Oh, don't you believe in rights for women, Thomas? Thomas: What's it to you? Mr Bates: Well, I know you don't believe in rights of property. I think some people might find that interesting. Thomas: Who's going to tell them? You? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MR CARSON'S OFFICE - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mrs Hughes knocks on the door and enters.] Mrs Hughes: Mr Carson, are you all right? Mr Carson: Why shouldn't I be? Mrs Hughes: You've never rung the dressing gong, and Mrs Patmore's doing a soufflé for the first course. Mr Carson: Oh, my God. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LORD GRANTHAM'S DRESSING ROOM - EVENING] Robert, Earl of Grantham: Rather unlike Carson. We'd better go straight in to dinner. Mr Bates: I shall tell Miss O'Brien and Anna. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Any more news of the by-election? Mr Crawley was here earlier. He said his mother had gone to the Liberal rally in Ripon. Mr Bates: I heard it was quite lively. Robert, Earl of Grantham: I daresay the Townies will make the usual stink when the Tory candidate's returned. Mr Bates: I'm not sure. I heard the Liberal was given a hard time today. Mr Branson said it was getting out of hand when they left. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Typical Branson to be there. I hope he squared it with Carson. Who went with him? Mr Bates: Er...I'm not sure anyone went with him, my lord. Robert, Earl of Grantham: You just said "they". Who was with him? Mr Bates: I'd rather not say. [Robert turns away from the mirror to look at Bates.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: Bates, who was with him? Mr Bates: Lady Sybil. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Lady Sybil? Why? Mr Bates: I should never have mentioned it, my lord. I thought you knew. [Robert turns sharply back to the mirror.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: No, I did not know. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DINING ROOM - EVENING] Robert, Earl of Grantham: I gather you went to hear the Liberal candidate today? Lady Sybil: There were several speakers, actually. He was the last. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Did he speak well? Lady Sybil: I thought so. Robert, Earl of Grantham: But there was quite a brouhaha. Lady Sybil: You know what these things can be like. Robert, Earl of Grantham: I do. [Robert bangs down his fork and knife on his plate.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: Which is why I am astonished you should not feel it necessary to ask my permission to attend! I assume this was Branson's scheme. Lady Sybil: No. Robert, Earl of Grantham: I confess, I was amused at the idea of an Irish radical for a chauffeur, but I see now I have been naïve. Cora, Countess of Grantham: I told Branson to take Sybil. Robert, Earl of Grantham: What are you saying?! Cora, Countess of Grantham: Sybil needed to go to Ripon. I asked Branson to drive her. I thought it would be sensible, in case there was trouble. Lady Sybil: I want to do some canvassing. The by-election isn't far off. [Robert and Violet stare open mouthed at Sybil.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Canvassing? Lady Sybil: Oh, it's quite safe. You're in a group and you knock on doors. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Yes, I know what canvassing is. Lady Mary: I think that Sybil is-- Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: What? Are you canvassing, too? Or would you rather take in washing? Lady Mary: I was only going to say that Sybil is entitled to her opinions. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: No! She isn't until she is married. Then her husband will tell her what her opinions are. Lady Mary: Oh, Granny! Lady Sybil: I knew you wouldn't approve. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Which presumably is why you all hid your plans from me. [Thomas removes the first course.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVE ROOM - EVENING] Thomas: Her Ladyship will have a smacked bottom if she's not careful. Mr Carson: Hurry up. I don't want anything else to go wrong tonight. Where's the sauce? Doesn't this have Hollandaise? Daisy: I'll get it. I won't be a jiffy. Thomas: Would you do that for me? Daisy: I'd do anything for you. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DINING ROOM - EVENING] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Does this mean you won't be presented next month? [Cora rolls her eyes.] Lady Sybil: Certainly not. Why should it? Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, I doubt I'd expect to curtsey to Their Majesties in June, when I'd been arrested at a riot in May. But them I'm old. Things may be different now. Cora, Countess of Grantham: She hasn't been arrested, and it wasn't a riot. Lady Edith: But it might be next time. Robert, Earl of Grantham: There will not be a next time. [Sybil sighs.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVANTS' HALL - EVENING] Anna: Her Ladyship's not best pleased at being told off in public. William said she was looking daggers. Mr Bates: I'm sorry I started all this. Branson: Ah, it's not your fault. Anyway, he ought to be glad he's got a daughter who cares. [Thomas enters.] Thomas: Her Ladyship's ready to leave. [Branson gets up from the table.] Branson: I'll bring the car around. Thomas: Are you pleased with yourself? Anna: Silly chump. [Anna grins.] Mr Bates: He's nervous. He thinks I'm planning to tell Mr Carson about the wine. Anna: Well, he shouldn't have stolen it then, should he? Mr Bates: No. But I don't want anyone to lose their job because of me. Anna: Even Thomas? Even after what they tried to do to you? Mr Bates: Even then. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. GREAT HALL - EVENING] Mr Carson: Your Ladyship, do you have a moment? Cora, Countess of Grantham: Of course. Mr Carson: I have received a letter, my lady, from a friend of mine. He's valet to the Marquess of Flintshire. Cora, Countess of Grantham: I don't envy him. [Carson chuckles] Mr Carson: Lord Flintshire is a minister at the Foreign Office. Cora, Countess of Grantham: As you know, Lady Flintshire is His Lordship's cousin. Mr Carson: Oh, of course, of course. The point is, he has dealing with the Turkish ambassador. It seems His Excellency has made him privy to a scurrilous story concerning Lady Mary and the late... [Carson checks over his shoulder.] Mr Carson: Mr Pamuk. Cora, Countess of Grantham: May I read this letter? [Carson opens the letter and hands it to Cora.] Mr Carson: Is there anything you want me to do about it? Cora, Countess of Grantham: No, thank you. Sometimes even to deny these things is only to throw paraffin onto the flames. Mr Carson: I did try to inform His Lordship-- Cora, Countess of Grantham: What? Mr Carson: But I...couldn't seem to find the right moment. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Quite right. Please leave His Lordship to me. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT.SERVANTS' CORRIDOR - NIGHT] Miss O'Brien: I'm sorry. The only sure way to get rid of a servant is to have him or her suspected of stealing. Thomas: Aren't you forgetting we've tried that and it didn't work. Miss O'Brien: But last time we invented a theft. What we need to do is to make him a suspect when something's really been stolen. Thomas: How do we know anything's been stolen? Miss O'Brien: Because you stole it, you noodle. Thomas: Oh, you mean the wine. Miss O'Brien: Yeah, the wine. Thomas: But that's the whole point; Bates knows I took it. He was threatening to tell Mr Carson. Miss O'Brien: Well, he can't, can he? Not if we get in first. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MR CARSON'S OFFICE - NIGHT] Mr Carson: Are you telling me you saw him take the cellar key? Thomas: Not exactly, but I saw him in here and I thought the key was swinging on its hook. I just wondered if you'd noticed if any of the wine was missing. [Carson stops and looks at Thomas, then considers.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LADY GRANTHAM'S BEDROOM - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [Robert reads in bed as Cora gets under the covers.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: I think I owe you an apology, after the way I spoke at dinner. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Next time you want to treat me like a naughty schoolgirl, you might do it in private, not in front of the servants. Robert, Earl of Grantham: You're right. I'm sorry. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Of course, it gave your mother her best evening since Christmas. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Hm. Even so, we must try to keep control of Sybil. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Robert, believe me, Sybil is not your problem. We've got to support Mary this year. When we get to London. Robert, Earl of Grantham: But it's Sybil's first season. We can't have Mary stealing her thunder. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Sybil will do well enough. It's time Mary was settled. High time. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Poor old Edith. We never seem to talk about her. Cora, Countess of Grantham: I'm afraid Edith will be the one to care for us in our old age. Robert, Earl of Grantham: What a ghastly prospect. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DRAWING ROOM - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mary enters in riding clothes.] Lady Mary: Mama? Anna said you wanted me. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Look who's paid us a visit. Lady Mary: Sir Anthony! How nice. We all thought we'd driven you away with that horrible salty pudding. SIR ANTHONY STRALLAN (chuckles) No, indeed. But I have been away. Lady Edith: He's been in Austria and Germany. Lady Mary: How interesting. Sir Anthony Strallan: Interesting...and worrying. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Sir Anthony's here to show you his new car. Lady Mary: Oh. Sir Anthony Strallan: I've--I've rather taken to driving myself, and I have to keep finding destinations to justify it. Lady Mary: What kind of car is it? Sir Anthony Strallan: It's an open Rolls Royce, and I wondered if you might like a spin in it. Lady Mary: Oh, how kind. But alas, not today. I've had Diamond saddled and he's waiting for me. Cora, Countess of Grantham: You could ride this afternoon. Lady Mary: But it's arranged now. But thank you, Sir Anthony. Do ask me again. [Mary leaves and Sir Anthony sits.] Lady Edith: I...don't suppose you'd take me? Sir Anthony Strallan: Of course. I should be delighted. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MR CARSON'S OFFICE - DAY] Mr Bates: What is it that I'm accused of? Mr Carson: Oh, nobody's "accusing" you of anything, but there has been a suggestion that you were handling the cellar key, and before I take it any further, I want to find if there's a simple explanation. Mr Bates: Because some wine is missing? Mr Carson: How do you know that? [Bates doesn't answer.] Mr Carson: Right. Well, we'll leave it there for now. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. COUNTRY ROAD, OPEN ROLLS ROYCE - DAY] Sir Anthony Strallan: The Kaiser is such a mercurial figure - one minute the warlord, the next a lovelorn poet. Lady Edith: But a poet in need of an empire. Sir Anthony Strallan: (chuckle) That's very good. "A poet in need of an empire," yes. My late wife used to say that... Lady Edith: What did Lady Strallan used to say? Sir Anthony Strallan: Oh, never mind. Lady Edith: But I should like to hear it. Sir Anthony Strallan: Really? [Edith nods.] Sir Anthony Strallan: Would you really? She used to say that Kaiser Bill loved uniforms and medals, but he never really connected them with fighting. [They both chuckle lightly.] Lady Edith: What was she like? Sir Anthony Strallan: Maud? Oh, she was awfully funny. Some people couldn't see it, but she was. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. THE VILLAGE - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [William is walking in his time off. He meets Lady Mary walking her horse and tips his hat to her. A blacksmith hammer clangs in the background.] Lady Mary: Is Lynch anywhere about? William: Oh, I haven't seen him, milady. Lady Mary: My horse is lame. William: Oh, I could have a look at him. Lady Mary: Do you know about horses? William: I looked after the horses on my father's farm. It was the best job in the world. Lady Mary: Then why did you leave it? William: Me mother wanted me to have a chance of bettering myself. Lady Mary: As a second footman? William: It's a good place for me, milady. [Mary realises her rudeness.] Lady Mary: Of course it is. I'm sorry. William: She hopes, one day, that I might be first footman, or even get to be... Lady Mary: Carson had better watch out. William: Stranger things happen at sea. [Mary chuckles.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MR CARSON'S OFFICE - EVENING] Miss O'Brien: I've seen Mr Bates with a bottle from time to time. I must have thought he was helping you. Mr Carson: Why would I order a valet to help with the wine? Miss O'Brien: Well, when you put it like that, of course you wouldn't. Mr Carson: So, Mr Bates is taking wine. And why would this be? To drink it? Thomas: It's not to clean his boots. Mr Carson: Thank you, Thomas. Daisy? Thomas says you have something to add to this. Daisy: Well... Mr Carson: You're not in any trouble or any danger of trouble. Thomas: You remember what you saw. Daisy: I may have seen him coming out of the cellar. Mr Carson: "May"? Did you or didn't you? Miss O'Brien: It's very hard for the girl, Mr Carson. You're frightening her. Mr Carson: I'm sorry. Thank you. You may go. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LADY GRANTHAM'S BEDROOM - MORNING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Cora sits in bed reading Woman's Weekly. O'Brien brings in her breakfast tray.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: Thank you, O'Brien. How is everything downstairs? Miss O'Brien: All right, I think, milady. Though, Mr Carson's a bit cast down. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Oh? Why? What's the matter with him? Miss O'Brien: He's found out something about...well, a person he admires, and it isn't very nice. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Has he said who this person is...who's proved a disappointment? Miss O'Brien: I don't like to say, milady. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Please do, if you know. Miss O'Brien: Oh, I know. It's Mr Bates. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Oh. Bates? Why? What's he done? Miss O'Brien: You should ask Mr Carson, milady. It's not my place to tell. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LIBRARY - DAY] Lady Sybil: Papa... Can Branson drive me into Ripon on Friday evening? Robert, Earl of Grantham: I don't think so, no. Not after the last time. Lady Sybil: Oh, please. There's a meeting of my borstal charity. I've missed two, and I simply must be there. Robert, Earl of Grantham: You'd have to take Mary or Edith with you. Lady Sybil: Don't make me. Those meetings are deadly at the best of times, and you know what they're like when they're bored. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Why are all your causes so steeped in gloom? Lady Sybil: Because it's the gloomy things that need our help. If everything in the garden's sunny, why meddle? Robert, Earl of Grantham: Well, I agree with that. Talking of sunny, are you looking forward to your coming Season? Lady Sybil: I am, rather. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DOWNTON ABBEY GROUNDS - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mary sits on a bench, reading. Matthew walks by and she sits up with a smile and closes the book.] Lady Mary: Hello. [Matthew smiles and tips his hat.] Lady Mary: What are you doing here? Matthew Crawley: I'm in search of your father. Carson thought he was outside. Lady Mary: He's in the library. Matthew Crawley: Oh. [Matthew hesitates and Mary looks at him expectantly.] Lady Mary: What is it? Matthew Crawley: Nothing much. I've had an inquiry about one of the farms. Lady Mary: Ah. [Matthew takes off his hat and sits on the bench with her.] Matthew Crawley: So...what's new at the big house? Lady Mary: Sybil, mainly. She's discovered politics, which of course makes Papa see red. Matthew Crawley: I admire Sybil's passion, though. Lady Mary: Of course. But then, I like a good argument. Papa does not. Matthew Crawley: If you really like an argument... Lady Mary: Yes? Matthew Crawley: We should see more of each other. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LIBRARY - DAY] Lady Sybil: So, it's all right? I can go? Robert, Earl of Grantham: Will you be late? Lady Sybil: I think I'll miss dinner. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Well, remember to tell Branson to take a sandwich for himself. [Sybil nods and leaves with a smile.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. THE DOWER HOUSE - DAY] Cora, Countess of Grantham: But who's it from? Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Susan Flintshire. Cora, Countess of Grantham: What does she say? Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, prepare yourself for the worst. Not the first page. My poor niece never uses one word when twenty will do. Start there. "I'm sorry..." Cora, Countess of Grantham: "I am sorry to have to tell you that Hugh has heard a vile story about your granddaughter Mary..." [Violet continues to read the vile story.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: "Sorry"? She's thrilled. Now, first I must ask - and I want you to think carefully before you answer - is any of this true? [Cora looks up at Violet, and Violet is surprised to find affirmation in Cora's gaze.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I see. Some of it is true. [Cora continues to stare at Violet.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: How much? [Cora continues to stare and the horrible truth sinks in.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh, dear. Cora, Countess of Grantham: She didn't drag him. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I wondered about that. I mean, obviously Susan's forgotten the distance between the girls' rooms and the bachelors' corridor. Cora, Countess of Grantham: She couldn't manage it alone. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: So how did she do it? Cora, Countess of Grantham: I helped her. She woke me up and I helped her. [Violet stares slack jawed at Cora.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well...I always thought this family might be approaching dissolution. I didn't know dissolution was already upon us. Does Robert know? Cora, Countess of Grantham: No. And he isn't going to. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: (nods) Oh... Cora, Countess of Grantham: Of course it was terribly wrong. It was all terribly wrong, but I didn't see what else-- Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Please. [Violet holds up a hand.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I can't listen to your attempts to try and justify yourself. Cora, Countess of Grantham: I know this is hard for you to hear. God knows it was hard for me to live through. But if you expect me to disown my daughter, I'm afraid you will be disappointed. Good day. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. COURTYARD - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [Bates sits on a bench. Anna joins him.] Anna: I thought you must be out here. Mr Bates: And you'd be right. Anna: I know you're upset. Mr Bates: Yes, I'm upset. I've been working here two years and yet Mr Carson has no difficulty believing the worst of me. Anna: I think he has a great deal of difficulty, which is why he hasn't told His Lordship yet. Can't you just explain about Thomas? Mr Bates: Not now. It would sound like a false accusation. Anna: You can't take it lying down, because you're not guilty of any wrong, and before it's over, I'm going to tell the world. Mr Bates: Are you? I'm not sure the world is listening. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LADY SYBIL'S BEDROOM - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [Gwen is finishing the bed when Sybil enters.] Gwen: Sorry, I'm a bit late tonight. Lady Sybil: Not to worry. How are you? Gwen: Bearing up. Lady Sybil: This isn't the end. You mustn't give up. We'll get there. Gwen: Forgive me, my lady, but you don't get it. You're brought up to think it's all within your grasp, that if you want something enough it will come to you. Well, we're not like that. We don't think our dreams are bound to come true, because...because they almost never do. Lady Sybil: Then that's why we must stick together. Your dream is my dream now, and I'll make it come true. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVANTS' CORRIDOR - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [Thomas talks with O'Brien as he takes a smoke break by the door.] Thomas: Why hasn't he done anything? He's had the story and the witnesses. Miss O'Brien: "The witnesses"? What do you think this is, a murder mystery? Thomas: Well, Mr Bates can't accuse me now. It'll sound as if he's trying to get his own back. Miss O'Brien: If I lose my job over this, I swear to God I'll swing for you. [They look nervously as William passes through the corridor.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KITCHENS - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [William enters as Daisy is cleaning up.] William: Is there any stale bread you're throwing out? And some salt. Daisy: Why? William: Well, I thought I'd make a last hot poultice or Diamond. It'll give him a better night. Daisy: You big softie. What'll Mr Lynch say? [Daisy fetches a bowl.] William: Well, he doesn't mind. He says I've got the touch. He thinks I should pack this in and be a groom. Daisy: Why don't you? William: My mum. She was so excited when I came here. They're proud of me, and I'd hate to spoil that. Daisy: Do you miss them? [William nods.] Daisy: I never had that in my childhood. Someone you could always trust. William: I trust them, they trust me. There are no lies in our house. [Daisy stops pouring water into the bowl as she looks up anxiously.] William: Thanks, that's enough. [William leaves with the bowl and a pestle as Daisy considers his words.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DOWNTON ABBEY, GROUNDS - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Isobel approaches Mary and Cora on their walk.] Isobel Crawley: I'm glad to catch you. We have a conundrum at the hospital, and I would value your opinion. Cora, Countess of Grantham: 'Course. Isobel Crawley: We've been treating the mother of you footman, William Mason. Lady Mary: What's the matter with her? Isobel Crawley: Heart, I'm afraid. She's forbidden us to say anything to her son. Lady Mary: That's ridiculous. Isobel Crawley: She's gone home now, but she's still very ill. Clearly, the boy should go and see her, and I assume you would have no objections. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Of course not. Isobel Crawley: So... do we break a patient's confidence and disobey her orders, or not? Cora, Countess of Grantham: We can't, if she's forbidden it. Isobel Crawley: I must say I agree with you. Lady Mary: Well, I'll tell him. Cora, Countess of Grantham: No, you will not. She has rights, too, and there are rules. Lady Mary: I don't care a fig about rules. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. STREET, RIPON - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Branson drives the motor car around a corner, Sybil in the back seat.] Branson: Where to from here, milady? Lady Sybil: What do you mean? We've arrived. Branson: The meeting's in one of these buildings here? Lady Sybil: This is the meeting. We're here for the counting of the votes. [Branson stops the car and looks back at her.] Branson: I don't understand. I thought that... [Sybil gets out of the car.] Lady Sybil: Don't be silly, Branson. You didn't think I'd miss my very first by-election? [The car behind him beeps.] Branson: I don't think His Lordship would approve. Lady Sybil: Let me worry about him. [The car honks again.] Branson: I have to park the car. Don't move. Stay where you are! Lady Sybil: Really, Branson, I thought I gave the orders. [Sybil walks into the courtyard and Branson waves at the honking car behind him and shifts into gear.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DRAWING ROOM - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Thomas opens the door for a guest.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: Well, I said to... Thomas: Sir Anthony Strallan. [Strallan enters.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: Sir Anthony? Sir Anthony Strallan: Don't worry, Lady Grantham. I haven't got the date wrong. Robert, Earl of Grantham: What a relief. I could hear Cora wondering if dinner would stretch. [They chuckles] Sir Anthony Strallan: No, I'm not really here at all, but I was driving past your gates on the way to the Callender-Becketts, and I thought I'd take a chance. You see, the thing is, I've got two tickets for a concert in York next Friday. Lady Mary: How nice. Although, I--I can't-- Sir Anthony Strallan: No, I was hoping that Lady Edith might like to accompany me. [Robert turns to Edith in surprise.] Lady Edith: But I'd love to. [Mary is unpleasantly surprised.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: Shouldn't you ask what sort of concert it is? Sir Anthony Strallan: Just Hungry Hundreds stuff mostly, you know. Bellini, Puccini, Rossini. I'm not up to anything complicated. Lady Edith: I--I'd like that very much. Sir Anthony Strallan: Excellent. Well, it's quite a hike, so I'll pick you up around 6:00? Lady Jervas has asked us for a bite to eat afterwards, if that's all right with your mother? Cora, Countess of Grantham: By all means. Sir Anthony Strallan: Well, I must run. I hope I haven't spoilt your dinner. Robert, Earl of Grantham: We may have to hire a nurse after all. [Mary glares at Edith, who sits down in happy surprise.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KITCHENS - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Daisy flips a mould upside down to put the dessert on a plate.] Mrs Patmore: Oh, for heaven's sake, hold it steady if you don't want to start again from the beginning. Daisy: Do these biscuits go up? Mrs Patmore: No, I put them out for the fairies. Daisy: Oh. Mrs Patmore: Of course they're going up. What's wrong with you? You're always dozy, but tonight you'd make Sleeping Beauty look alert. Daisy: MRS PATMORE Daisy: I was just thinking. Mrs Patmore: Blimey, batten down the hatches. Daisy: I think I've let myself down. Mrs Patmore: It can't be a new sensation. [Daisy watches William as he takes the dishes upstairs.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. RIPON, CITY HALL COURTYARD - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [A man reads off the vote count as the crowd clamours and jostles each other.] Announcer: The Honourable Joseph Gerald Antsy for the Conservative and Unionist Party: 6,363 votes Woman: Vote for women! Vote for women! Announcer: Martin James Dillon, for the Socialist Party: 2,741 votes. [Branson rushes to get to Sybil in the crowd.] Branson: Can we call it a day, milady? Lady Sybil: Don't be silly. This is the moment we've come for. Announcer: Trevor Andrew Morgan, the Liberal Party... [The announcer has trouble being heard over the crowd.] Branson: This lot aren't interested in politics. They're spoiling for a fight. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. RIPON, STREET - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Matthew exits his law firm and hears the sound of the crowd.] Announcer: ...5,894 votes! I hereby declare that the Honourable... [A truck full of tough looking men drives up to the city hall. The men rush into the courtyard.] Ringleader: Come on, out you get, lads! We'll soon wipe the smile off their Tory bloody faces. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. RIPON, CITY HALL COURTYARD - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Matthew enters and pushes through the crowd to reach Sybil.] Announcer: ...is duly elected...is duly elected to serve as Member of Parliament...Member of Parliament... Matthew Crawley: Sybil! Announcer: ...for the Ripon constituency. Matthew Crawley: What on earth are you doing here? Lady Sybil: I couldn't miss this. Matthew Crawley: Couldn't you? I could. [Branson sees the rough men enter.] Branson: I don't like the look of this, milady. [One of the men knocks another man's hat off. The man continues forward and Branson confronts him.] Branson: Look, look, I'm on your side. Don't cause any trouble; you have to believe me. [The man shoves Branson aside and confronts Matthew.] Man: What's your problem, then, Mr La-di-da? Matthew Crawley: My problem is you. Man: Oh, aye? [The man tries to punch Matthew, but Matthew punches back and somehow Sybil gets knocked to the ground. She bumps her head on a low table, knocking her unconscious. Matthew and Branson crouch over her anxiously. Matthew touches her head and his hand comes away with blood.] Branson: Oh, no. Oh, please God, no. [Branson and Matthew lift her up and Branson carries Sybil out of the courtyard.] Matthew Crawley: This way. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DOWNTON - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mary exits the drawing room where Branson and Gwen are waiting.] Gwen: I've fetched a coat. [Gwen helps Mary into the coat.] Lady Mary: Why? What do I need a coat for? Branson: I've come to fetch you, my lady. We've taken Lady Sybil to Crawley House in the village. Lady Mary: What's happened? Branson: I took her to Ripon for the count. She got injured in a fight. [Mary touches Branson's hand and covers her mouth in fear.] Lady Mary: Take me there at once. [Branson and Mary rush off.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CRAWLEY HOUSE - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Isobel rings out the blood into a bowl as she treats Sybil's head wound. Sybil lies on a couch, regaining consciousness. Mary enters.] Lady Mary: My God. Oh, my darling... Matthew Crawley: I didn't know what to do, so I had Branson bring her here. Lady Mary: Quite right. Mama would have fainted if she'd seen her like this. As for Papa... Isobel Crawley: This will sting a bit, but it's stopped bleeding. Did you know she was planning this? Matthew Crawley: Of course not. Isobel Crawley: Well, what were you doing there? I was working late. I'd forgotten it was election night or I wouldn't have stayed. Lady Sybil: I'm so grateful you did. Lady Mary: I could ring Branson's neck. Matthew Crawley: What was he thinking? I'm afraid it'll cost him his job. Lady Sybil: No. I told him he was taking me to a committee meeting. When he realised what it was, he wanted to come straight back. Lady Mary: You'll have to stick up for him, because Papa will skin him alive. Matthew Crawley: Are you feeling strong enough to go home? Lady Sybil: I think so, if you'll take me. [Matthew smiles and offers her a hand to help her up.] Lady Mary: Here, wear my coat to cover the blood. You'll look more normal. [Mary takes it off and puts it around Sybil's shoulders.] Matthew Crawley: Lean on me. [Isobel regards Mary as Mary watches Matthew lead Sybil out. Mary turns to her.] Lady Mary: Thank you so much for this. [Mary turns to leave, but stops.] Lady Mary: By the way, what happened to William's mother? Isobel Crawley: Not good, I'm afraid. She's home, but she's still very weak. Another attack should finish her. Lady Mary: And he still doesn't know? Isobel Crawley: She's adamant. I've tried to explain how hard it'll be on him, but she won't have him disturbed. To hear her talk, you'd think he was a cabinet minister. [Mary smiles.] Lady Mary: He's made her proud. There are plenty of children in grander circumstances who'd love to say the same. [Mary leaves and Isobel is surprised by her words.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MR CARSON'S OFFICE - EVENING] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mr Carson locks storage cupboard doors.] Mrs Hughes: I wish you'd tell me what's troubling you. If it's this business with Mr Bates... Mr Carson: Oh, it's not that. I'll get to the bottom of that. Mrs Hughes: Well, I hope you'll do it soon. If there's one thing I hate, it's an "atmosphere," and we've got a real atmosphere going now. It's an unfair rumour which needs to be scotched. Mr Carson: It's very hard to hear the names of people you love dragged in the mud. You feel so powerless. Mrs Hughes: Well, I respect Mr Bates, but I'm not sure that I love him. Mr Carson: I wasn't thinking of Mr Bates. [Daisy knocks at the open door and enters.] Daisy: Mr Carson, have you got a minute? Mrs Hughes: What is it, Daisy? Mr Carson's a very busy man. Daisy: I know he is, but I think he'll want to hear this. I told you something that wasn't true. Mr Carson: Why would you do that? Daisy: I did it as a favour for a friend, but I know now he was wrong to ask if of me. [Carson and Mrs Hughes exchange a significant look.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. DOWNTON, FRONT WALK - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [Matthew helps Sybil out of the car. Mary follows them towards the house, but Branson takes off his hat and addresses her.] Branson: She's not badly hurt, is she? Lady Mary: I don't think so, no. Branson: Thank God. Lady Mary: Better be prepared. I'm afraid Lord Grantham will hit the roof. [Branson nods.] Branson: I never would have taken her there. I may be a socialist, but I'm not a lunatic. Lady Mary: I'm not sure Papa knows the difference. [Branson nods.] Branson: You'll let me know how she gets on? [Mary is surprised.] Branson: Please. LADY MARY (nods) If you wish. [Mary enters the house.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LADY SYBIL'S BEDROOM - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [Sybil and Cora sit on the bed and Mary and Edith stand nearby as Robert rages.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: How dare you?! How dare you disobey me in this way! Cora, Countess of Grantham: Robert, I'm sure... Robert, Earl of Grantham: Are you so knowledgeable about the great world... [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. GREAT HALL - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [Matthew can hear Roberts shouting as he paces.] ROBERT, EARL OF GRANTHAM (distant) ...that my instructions are to be set as nothing?! [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LADY SYBIL'S BEDROOM - NIGHT] Lady Sybil: Papa, I'm sorry I disobeyed you, but I'm interested. I'm political. I have opinions. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Of course, I blame Branson. Lady Mary: I don't think that's fair. Robert, Earl of Grantham: We had none of this - none of it - until he set foot in our house! I suppose I should give thanks he hasn't burnt the place down over our heads! Lady Sybil: Branson didn't know anything about it until we arrived there. Robert, Earl of Grantham: He leaves tonight. Lady Sybil: If you punish Branson, I'll never speak to you again! Never! Lady Mary: I don't believe this is Branson's fault. Truly, Papa. [Sybil stands up.] Lady Sybil: Blame me. Robert, Earl of Grantham: I do blame you! Cora, Countess of Grantham: Robert, can we do this in the morning? Sybil needs rest. Lady Sybil: But if I find tomorrow that Branson is missing, I'll run away. I warn you. Robert, Earl of Grantham: (scoffs) Oh? And where would you go? Lady Sybil: Well, I can't think now, but I will go, and you'll be sorry. Robert, Earl of Grantham: I should be sorry. Very sorry indeed. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. GREAT HALL - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [Matthew stops pacing as Robert and Mary enter.] Matthew Crawley: How is she? Lady Mary: She'll be perfectly fine. Robert, Earl of Grantham: I gather you're the shining knight in all this. Matthew Crawley: Not really... [Matthew flexes his sore fist.] Matthew Crawley: ...but I'm glad I was there. Robert, Earl of Grantham: So am I, by heaven. If it had been left to that bloody fool, Branson. [Matthew and Mary exchange a significant look pertaining to Roberts prejudice.] Robert, Earl of Grantham: You should see what he reads. It's all Marx and Ruskin and John Stuart Mill. I ask you. Lady Mary: Papa prefers the servants to read the bible and letters from home. [Mrs Hughes enters.] Mrs Hughes: There are sandwiches for Mr Crawley in the dining room, Lady Mary. Lady Mary: Thank you, Mrs Hughes. [Mary turns to Matthew.] Lady Mary: We couldn't let you starve. Matthew Crawley: You really didn't have to. Robert, Earl of Grantham: Mary, look after Matthew. I'll go up and revive your mother. [Mary and Matthew walk towards the dining room.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MR CARSON'S OFFICE - NIGHT] Mr Carson: Do you stand by your story? Thomas: I don't have a story. Mr Carson: You saw Mr Bates in here alone, hanging up the cellar key. To me, that is a story. Thomas: I only said I might have seen him. Suppose I was wrong? Mr Carson: And Miss O'Brien, were you then wrong when you thought you saw Mr Bates carrying a bottle? [Anna looks at O'Brien.] Anna: You wicked creature. Mrs Hughes: Anna. You're here to watch, not participate. Miss O'Brien: I don't think I was wrong, no. Mr Carson: What do you say to that Mr Bates? Mr Bates: I know this to be untrue because I have no need of it. Since I arrived at Downton, you have never seen me drink one drop of alcohol. Mr Carson: Let us say, then, that Miss O'Brien was...mistaken. Anna: Mistaken, my eye. Mr Carson: And Daisy, we all know the value of your contribution. Daisy: Yes, Mr Carson. Mr Carson: But I must ask one thing, Mr Bates. How did you know the wine had been taken? Mr Bates: I'm afraid I cannot answer that. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [Matthew removes the top of the decanter.] Matthew Crawley: We can drink to Sybil's safe return. [Matthew pours into the one wine glass on the table.] Lady Mary: Why not? I'll ring for a glass. Matthew Crawley: Never mind that. Here. [Matthew hands Mary the wine glass and pours himself a drink in the cylindrical one.] Lady Mary: You're not very fastidious about doing things properly, are you? [Matthew chuckles slightly.] Matthew Crawley: Are you? Lady Mary: Less than you might think. [They drink.] Matthew Crawley: Are you at all political? [Matthew uncover the sandwiches and Mary takes a strawberry.] Lady Mary: Yes, but with a hung Parliament, it's hard to get excited about a by-election. You know nothing will change, whoever gets in. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. MR CARSON'S OFFICE - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [The servants exit except for Bates, Anna, Carson, and Mrs Hughes. Bates closes the door.] Mr Bates: If I might keep you for a minute more, Mr Carson? Mrs Hughes: I--if you'd like me to leave? Mr Bates: No, I would like you to stay, please, Mrs Hughes. And you, Anna. You have decided not to take action over the allegations Thomas has made against me because you believe them to be untrue. Mr Carson: That is correct. Mr Bates: And you are right, there is no truth in them. But if you were to proceed with the matter, you would find them to be proven. Thomas has tried to convince you that I am a drunkard and a thief. Anna: Which we never believed. Mr Bates: Because you know no different. Until a couple of years ago, I was a drunkard...and I was imprisoned as a thief. [Mrs Hughes and Carson are shocked. Anna is dubious.] Mr Bates: I have repaid your kindness very poorly. I masqueraded as a man of honour and integrity, but by any moral code, I am disgraced. Mrs Hughes: That can't be the whole story. Mr Bates: Perhaps not, but it's enough of it to demand my resignation. [Mr Carson holds up a hand.] Mr Carson: Do you want to leave, Mr Bates? Mr Bates: No, but I feel I have no choice. Mr Carson: You owe me a say in the matter, surely? Mr Bates: If you wish. Mr Carson: Then I will consider the case and give you my decision when I have discussed it with His Lordship. Until then, I hope you will remain in your post. [Mr Bates considers Carson's words.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT] Lady Mary: Thank you for coming to Sybil's rescue. You were very brave. She told me you knocked a man down. Matthew Crawley: I hope I did my duty. Lady Mary: Are you a creature of duty? Matthew Crawley: Not entirely. Lady Mary: When you laugh with me or flirt with me, is that a duty? Are you conforming to the fitness of things? Doing what's expected? [Matthew smirks.] Matthew Crawley: Don't play with me. I don't deserve it. Not from you. Lady Mary: You must be careful not to break Sybil's heart. I think she has a crush on you. Matthew Crawley: That's something no one could accuse you of. Lady Mary: Oh, I don't know. [Mary fingers her necklace.] Matthew Crawley: I assume you speak in a spirit of mockery. Lady Mary: You should have more faith. Matthew Crawley: Shall I remind you of some of the choicest remarks you made about me when I arrived here? [Mary looks down.] Matthew Crawley: Because they live in my memory as fresh as the day they were spoken. Lady Mary: Oh, Matthew, what am I always telling you? You must pay no attention to the things I say. [They regard each other for a moment, and then rush in for a passionate kiss.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. COURTYARD - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [Anna approaches Bates.] Anna: Mr Bates. Mr Bates: Anna. Anna: Will you really leave? Mr Bates: I doubt His Lordship wants a thief in the house. Now, go to sleep and dream of a better man. Anna: I can't. Because there isn't one. [Bates takes Anna's hand. they lean in for a kiss, but a servant exits just at that moment to bring out the rubbish. Anna leaves.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LADY GRANTHAM'S BEDROOM - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [Cora is reading in bed when Mary enters.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: Has Matthew gone? Lady Mary: Yes. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Thank the Lord he was there. [Mary closes the door and sits on the bed.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: I hope you thanked Matthew properly. Lady Mary: I got them to make him some sandwiches. Cora, Countess of Grantham: That's not quite what I meant. Lady Mary: And he asked me to marry him. Cora, Countess of Grantham: (chuckles) Heavens! What did they put in them? Lady Mary: I'm serious. He proposed to me. [Cora's expression changes to excitement.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: Oh, my dear... Have you given him an answer? Lady Mary: Only that I'd think about it. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Well, that's an advance on what it would have been a year ago. Do you want to marry him? Lady Mary: I know you want me to marry him. Cora, Countess of Grantham: What we want doesn't matter. [Mary looks at Cora.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: At least, it's not all that matters. [Mary nods with a slight smile.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: Do you love Matthew? Lady Mary: Yes. [Cora smiles.] Lady Mary: I think perhaps I do. I think I may have loved him for much longer than I knew. [Mary tears up.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: Oh, my darling. [Cora takes Mary's hand.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: Let's not pretend this isn't the answer to every one of our prayers. [Mary is upset by that.] Lady Mary: I'd have to tell him. [Cora grimaces, realising what Mary means.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: Oh... is it absolutely necessary? Lady Mary: If I didn't, I'd feel as if I'd caught him with a lie. Lady Mary: [Robert enters and is surprised to find Mary there. Mary stands.] Lady Mary: I hope you know that really smart people sleep in separate rooms. Robert, Earl of Grantham: I always keep the bed made up in the dressing room, so at least I pretend we sleep apart. Isn't that enough? Lady Mary: No. Never mind. Good night. [Mary leaves through another door.] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. SERVANTS' CORRIDOR - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mrs Patmore walks past O'Brien and Thomas.] Mrs Patmore: Oh, haven't you gone up yet? Blow this out. [Mrs Patmore hands O'Brien an oil lamp.] Mrs Patmore: You're the last. Goodnight. Thomas: Goodnight. Miss O'Brien: Goodnight. [Thomas step closer to O'Brien as Mrs Patmore ascends the stairs.] Thomas: I'm going to bloody get him. I don't care what you say. Miss O'Brien: What would I say? Everything comes to him who waits. Thomas: Well, I've waited long enough. [Thomas ascends the stairs and O'Brien blows out the lamp.] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. STABLES - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Mary walks in her riding clothes.] Lady Mary: Does Carson know you're here? William: I heard you were going out, and I wanted to see how he was walking. [William pets Diamond as he waits for her to take the reins.] Lady Mary: Lynch is happy for me to ride him? William: Oh, yes. He's better. But I'll wait and see what he's like when you're up. [Mary nods.] Lady Mary: William, are you planning to go home soon? William: Well, it's a bit far for my half day, but I can maybe get the time to go in July, when the family's in London. That's if I don't go with you, of course. Lady Mary: I think you should take a few days off and go now. I'll fix it. I'll speak to Father and to Carson. No one will mind. William: But why, milady? Lady Mary: Your mother's not been well. William: Wha...how--how do you know? Lady Mary: I heard someone mention it in the village. I forget who. William: I had a letter and she never said. Lady Mary: Oh, I'm sure it's nothing, but I know it would cheer her to see you. William: Well... if it wouldn't be a bother. Lady Mary: It won't. I'll arrange it as soon as I get back. William: Thank you very much, milady. [Mary takes begins to walk the horse.] Lady Mary: She ought to spend some time with the people she loves. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LADY GRANTHAM'S WRITING ROOM - DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [Cora writes at her desk. Thomas enters.] Thomas: The Dowager Countess, milady. [Violet enters and Cora stands, Thomas exits.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Good afternoon, my dear. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Good afternoon. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: There's no need to be so prim. I come in peace. Shall I sit here? [Violet seats herself and Cora stands next to a nearby chair.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Now, I've been thinking. I confess I do not know if I would have had strength, mentally or physically, to carry a corpse the length of this house... but I hope I would have done. [Cora smiles.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: You were quite right. When something bad happens, there's no point in wishing it had not happened. The only option is to minimize the damage. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Or try to. [Cora sits in the chair next to Violet.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: But if the Flintshires have got hold of it... Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I've written to Susan. I said it was a story made up by Mr Pamuk's enemies to discredit him. Even if she doesn't believe me, she won't tell in case it reflects badly on her. The ambassador is dangerous, but then, how many people really go to the Turkish embassy? Cora, Countess of Grantham: It only takes one. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, I mean, it just can't be helped. We can't have him assassinated. I suppose. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Robert still doesn't suspect. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh, I should hope not. No, our only way forward is to get Mary settled as soon as possible. Cora, Countess of Grantham: I have news on that score. [Violet looks surprised.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: Matthew has proposed. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: (gasp) My, my. Has she said yes? Cora, Countess of Grantham: She hasn't said anything yet, except that she's going to have to tell him about Pamuk. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: For heaven's sake! Why? Cora, Countess of Grantham: She thinks to keep it secret would be dishonourable. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: She reads too many novels. I mean, one way or another, everyone goes down the aisle with half the story hidden. The question is, will she accept Matthew? Cora, Countess of Grantham: I'm not sure. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: (sigh) Well, if she doesn't, we'll just have to take her abroad. In these moments, you can normally find an Italian who isn't too picky. [Cora grins in amusement.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: We'll give her till the start of the grouse. Cora, Countess of Grantham: Very well. If she turns Matthew down, we'll take her to Rome in the autumn. Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: (nods) It's official. [Violet stands and Cora does likewise.] Cora, Countess of Grantham: Thank you for not turning against her. I know that you have rules, and when people break them you find it hard to forgive. I understand that and I respect it. [Violet nods.] Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: In this case, Mary has the trump card. Cora, Countess of Grantham: What? Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Mary is family. [Cora smiles as Violet leaves.]

Plan: A: May 1914; Q: When did gossip about Lady Mary and the "handsome Turk" intensify? A: Gossip; Q: What intensifies about Lady Mary and the "handsome Turk"? A: Lady Mary; Q: Who arranges for Second Footman William to visit his mother? A: Carson; Q: Who is unwilling to let Bates go? A: the Dowager Countess; Q: Who was Carson's mother? A: Violet confronts Cora; Q: Who confesses the truth about Lady Mary and the handsome Turk? A: Edith; Q: Which Downton resident finds an admirer in Sir Anthony Strallan? A: Bates; Q: Who reveals to Carson that he was once a drunkard and was in prison for theft? A: the story; Q: What does Carson suspect there is more to? A: Sybil; Q: Who made Branson take her to Ripon? A: a brawl; Q: What event caused Sybil to be injured? A: Lord Grantham; Q: Who blames Branson for Sybil's injury? A: their love; Q: What do Mary and Matthew confess to each other? A: her scandalous secret; Q: What does Mary feel she cannot accept Matthew's proposal without telling him? A: her earlier harsh treatment; Q: What does Violet apologize for to Cora? A: Second Footman William's mother; Q: Who is seriously ill? A: Anna; Q: Who tells Mr Bates that she does not want him to leave Downton? Summary: May 1914. Gossip about Lady Mary and the "handsome Turk" intensifies, reaching Carson and the Dowager Countess. Violet confronts Cora, who confesses the truth. Edith finds an admirer in Sir Anthony Strallan. Bates reveals to Carson that he was once a drunkard and was in prison for theft; Carson is unwilling to let him go, suspecting there is more to the story. Sybil makes Branson take her to Ripon under false pretences to attend the by-election count. She is injured during a brawl but Matthew, who happens to come along, and Branson rescue her. Lord Grantham blames Branson but Sybil defends him. Later that night, Mary and Matthew confess their love for each other, but Mary feels she cannot accept his proposal without telling him her scandalous secret. Violet apologises to Cora for her earlier harsh treatment. When Lady Mary learns that Second Footman William's mother is seriously ill, she arranges for him to visit her. Anna tells Mr Bates that she does not want him to leave Downton, and they almost kiss.

5:40pm - 6:05pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: INT. MECHANUS. CAVE MECHONOID: ...Hundred...thirty...Mechonoid...English...input...enter. (Two arms come out of the centre of the robot, almost in a gesture of welcome. The voices of the DALEKS are heard outside the cave...) DALEKS: (OOV.) Advance. Advance and attack! Attack and destroy! Destroy and rejoice! IAN: You heard what the gentleman said - let's go! (As the DALEK chant continues, the DOCTOR grabs his machine and the time travellers walk towards and into the chamber...) [SCENE_BREAK] 2: INT. MECHANUS. LIFT (They walk into the chamber. A door slams down behind them. The travellers have to stand around the very edge of the room as the robot nearly fills the chamber.) VICKI: We're going up. BARBARA: Yeah, it's a lift. (After a pause, the DOCTOR addresses the robot.) DOCTOR: Yes you...you got us out of a nasty situation there. I supposed you'd like to know who we are and why we're here, mmm? (In answer, the instrumentation on top of the ROBOT falls back within the casing.) IAN: You're not getting through to him, Doctor, you're not getting through. BARBARA: Doctor, ask him where he's taking us. DOCTOR: Mmm. IAN: He's taking us up to the city, obviously. [SCENE_BREAK] 3: INT. MECHANUS. CAVE (The DALEKS sweep into the cave, firing as they go. They halt as they see that the cave is empty.) FIRST DALEK: They have escaped. SECOND DALEK: Not possible. Perceptor readings indicated they were here. FIRST DALEK: Subject walls to seismic detector tests. (The SECOND DALEK, who has the perceptor, glides up to the back wall. There is a bleeping sound.) FIRST DALEK: It is required that we penetrate this wall. Section four will return to the time craft for the electrode unit. DALEKS: We obey. [SCENE_BREAK] 4: INT. MECHANUS. LIFT (The robot gives out a series of electronic noises. The instrumentation at the top of the casing rises back into place.) IAN: We must have arrived. (The door to the lift slides open...) [SCENE_BREAK] 5: EXT. MECHANUS. RAMP TO CITY (...and the robot glides out, still making electronic noises. The travellers also step out.) MECHONOID: Stop. Follow...follow. VICKI: Look at it! DOCTOR: But's fantastic! BARBARA: I've never seen anything like it. It's huge! DOCTOR: Hmm! (On the long ramp that leads from the mountainside, the robot glides ahead.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6: EXT. MECHANUS. CITY (Its destination is the magnificent stilted city that the travellers observed earlier.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7: INT. MECHANUS. CITY. LANDING (Within the city, another of the robots waits. The first robot glides up to it and the two swap electronic beeps and signals. They wave their arms at each other as a sign that they have finished and the second robot glides away. The first one turns to the travellers.) MECHONOID: English...enter...enter...zero...stop. IAN: (Puzzled.) Enter, enter, zero, stop? What does he mean? (BARBARA indicates the doorway next to them.) BARBARA: It means, er, enter, enter, zero, stop. DOCTOR: Hmm! (VICKI imitates the robots' voice.) VICKI: Tttthhhaaannnk yyyooouuu! DOCTOR: (Chiding.) Cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha! BARBARA: Vicki! (VICKI laughs and the four enter the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8: INT. MECHANUS. CITY. ROOM (The room they find themselves in is square with an observation window covered with vertical closed slats to one side. One the other side of the room is a simple bed. The centre of the room is dominated by an extraordinary wooden structure of staircases and platforms leading to the ceiling. It looks as if it has been thrown together and somewhat resembles a climbing frame. After they have walked in, a door slams shut behind them.) DOCTOR: Hmm! IAN: Mmm. BARBARA: What an extraordinary looking thing! IAN: Ha, looks like a monkey's perch. (VICKI and BARBARA try the bed as the DOCTOR puts his machine on the floor.) VICKI: Oh, not bad, eh? BARBARA: ... DOCTOR: Yes, well I don't like it. VICKI: Why not? It's clean, it's comfortable, the robot's seem quite friendly. DOCTOR: Yes, yes, robot's, but haven't you noticed something very singular about this place? VICKI: Like what? DOCTOR: We've only seen robots. No animal life, human or otherwise, mm? IAN: That's very true, Doctor. (A figure suddenly jumps down the stairs on the construction in the middle of the room.) IAN: Stay where you are! (The figure is a MAN. He is young, dark haired, heavily bearded and dressed in a uniform. He looks at the time travellers in wide-eyed amazement.) MAN: You real? (The travellers look at each other.) IAN: Who are you? (The MAN steps down to the floor.) MAN: (In wonder.) You are real! From Earth? IAN: Yes. Who are you? MAN: From Earth, that...couldn't have happened! I...I worked out the odds - two thousand to one ag...hey! I supposed they realised I was on my way back wh...well, who won the wars? (He gets no answer.) STEVEN TAYLOR: Look, I'm Steven Taylor, flight red-fifty. DOCTOR: Well, we've learned something... (Laughs.) His name! Hmm! BARBARA: (Smiling.) Yes, Steven Taylor. (STEVEN is dumbstruck at hearing his name pronounced by another human being. He moves towards BARBARA but IAN, still not sure, stops him.) STEVEN TAYLOR: Say that again. BARBARA: (Unsure as to why.) Steven Taylor? STEVEN TAYLOR: (His voice trailing off.) Steven Taylor... (He looks round quickly and picks up a small toy Panda bear from the wooden construction. He throws it to BARBARA.) STEVEN TAYLOR: That's my mascot - Hi-fi. BARBARA: Oh! (She speaks to the bear.) Hi Fi, I'm Barbara! (They all laugh.) VICKI: I'm Vicki. IAN: (To STEVEN, offering his hand.) Ian Chesterton. STEVEN TAYLOR: (They shake.) Ian Chesterton. IAN: This is the Doctor. DOCTOR: (They shake hands.) Well, I'm glad to know you, Steven Taylor. Mmm. (STEVEN has been somewhat stuck for words, but now he laughs and starts excitedly babbling.) STEVEN TAYLOR: Well...this is great! I...I mean it's ridiculous. I'm lost for words, I...I thought if ever I met anyone again, I wouldn't stop talking for a week! DOCTOR: Ye-es! Well, you haven't! (They laugh.) DOCTOR: How long have you been here, mm? STEVEN TAYLOR: As far as I can make out, about two years. VICKI: Two years? Alone? STEVEN TAYLOR: Well yes...apart from those fungus things. DOCTOR: You mean there's no other human beings here on this planet. STEVEN TAYLOR: No, nothing except the Mechonoids. BARBARA: Where do they come from, do you know? STEVEN TAYLOR: (Amazed.) You don't know? But this is Mechanus. IAN: Sorry? STEVEN TAYLOR: Look, about fifty years ago, Earth decided to colonise this planet. Well, it landed a rocket full of robots programmed to clear landing sites, get everything ready to...for the first immigrants. VICKI: And they didn't arrive? STEVEN TAYLOR: No. The Earth got involved in interplanetary wars an...I suppose this place was forgotten. IAN: Fifty years ago? But surely these robots'd be worn out by now. They'd have run down. DOCTOR: No, no, no, no, they're programmed to do their own repairs. BARBARA: But if you're waiting for people from Earth, well why not us? VICKI: Yes, we could be the immigrants. STEVEN TAYLOR: Look, you've got to know their code. I've been spending two years trying to break it. (He realises what he has said and, for a second, becomes emotional.) STEVEN TAYLOR: Ha, two years. I crashed you see, out there in the jungle and wandered around for days trying to avoid those fungus things...of course then the Mechonoids captured me. BARBARA: Captured? Do you mean...you're a prisoner. STEVEN TAYLOR: (Incredulous.) Well, do you think I'd stay here otherwise? I'm just like you - we're all prisoners! (The four travellers look at each other.) STEVEN TAYLOR: Help yourself to a piece of eternity. (He steps away. IAN runs after him.) IAN: Now just a minute! There are five of us now. Surely we can do something? We can fight our way, we can fight our way out of here. STEVEN TAYLOR: Look, at the first sign of violence towards them, the Mechonoids destroy. [SCENE_BREAK] 9: INT. MECHANUS. CITY (Outside the cell, a MECHONOID robot opens the slatted observation window and looks through.) [SCENE_BREAK] 10: INT. MECHANUS. CITY. ROOM (STEVEN walks over to the window.) STEVEN TAYLOR: Now what's this? What are they playing at? (They see the MECHONOID watching them.) DOCTOR: Yes, I see. We're being held here...as specimens. VICKI: What? Like something in a zoo? STEVEN TAYLOR: (Walking back.) Yes, Vicki. Exactly like a zoo. Only we're the specimens that are on display. (To the MECHONOID.) Aren't we, my fat little darlings?! [SCENE_BREAK] 11: INT. MECHANUS. CAVE (The FIRST DALEK has been fitted with a new device in place of its usual arm. It resembles a small radar dish.) FIRST DALEK: Electrode unit ready. SECOND DALEK: Operate. (With a high pitched engine-type whine, the dish starts to revolve.) SECOND DALEK: Increase power...conveyor descending. (The FIRST DALEK glides into the newly arrived lift.) FIRST DALEK: By taking the humans, the Mechons have forced us to take action against them. We invade. THIRD DALEK: Skaro reports they have many powerful weapons. We may sustain damage. FIRST DALEK: (Angrily.) The orders of the Dalek Supreme will be obeyed! The humans will be destroyed! The Mechons will not be permitted to stand in our way! We attack! We attack! (The other DALEKS glide into the lift.) DALEKS: Attack! Attack! Attack! Attack! Attack! Attack! Attack! [SCENE_BREAK] 12: INT. MECHANUS. CITY. LANDING (The MECHONOID continues to observe its "specimens".) BARBARA: Oh, go away! Leave us alone, can't you?! (The slatted observation window shuts.) MECHONOID: Threat...stop. [SCENE_BREAK] 13: INT. MECHANUS. CITY. ROOM STEVEN TAYLOR: There's only one thing to do to keep yourself sane - that's to make things. (He gestures to the wooden platform in the middle of the room.) I built this. BARBARA: Did you? STEVEN TAYLOR: All my own work. BARBARA: Where does it lead? STEVEN TAYLOR: Up to the roof. IAN: The roof! Well, why don't we get out that way? (IAN starts to climb the stairs.) STEVEN TAYLOR: Look, don't think I haven't thought about it myself, but that roof's fifteen hu...hundred feet above ground level. BARBARA: Well, we've got to get out. STEVEN TAYLOR: Yes, that's what I thought at first. You'll soon find out you're better off here than out there in the jungle. IAN: Oh, we don't give up so easily. We're going to get out of here...and the first thing we're going to do is...I'm going to have a look up here. STEVEN TAYLOR: Yes, I'm with you, of course, but...what happen when we get down to the ground? DOCTOR: We make our way back to my spaceship. STEVEN TAYLOR: Your spaceship? Huh, is it serviceable? DOCTOR: I certainly hope so! STEVEN TAYLOR: But I thought...! You see, I assumed you'd crashed. (The DOCTOR laughs quietly.) IAN: You coming, Doctor? DOCTOR: Yes, I'm coming, dear boy, I'm coming. (The two start to ascend but the DOCTOR turns back.) DOCTOR: Oh, er, tell me, young man, what happens if these Mechonoids see up there? STEVEN TAYLOR: Well, there aren't any. We're allowed to go up anytime for light, exercise. There are no guards. DOCTOR: Good, good! STEVEN TAYLOR: Go on, I'll show you. DOCTOR: Splendid. (STEVEN joins the two as they go up to the roof.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14: EXT. MECHANUS. CITY. ROOF (The three come out of a building on the roof. The DOCTOR is out of breath by the climb. A breeze blows this high up in the sky and distant views of the landscape can be seen.) DOCTOR: Oh, ah, ah... STEVEN TAYLOR: You see, I told you, no guards. I'll go and tell the girls. (STEVEN rushes back in.) DOCTOR: Yes, wait a minute, dear boy... (The DOCTOR sees that IAN has stepped back to the very edge of the roof.) DOCTOR: Chesterton! Well, be careful! (IAN almost loses his balance and just avoids plunging to the distant jungle which can be seen below. He regains his balance and walks back to the main part of the roof.) DOCTOR: Hmm! IAN: Yes, I see why the...Mechonoids don't mind us coming up here. (IAN examines a drum round which is wrapped a long length of cable.) IAN: Doctor, what do you make of this? DOCTOR: Oh, it's some...power aerial, I suppose...erh... IAN: Doctor, I've got it! DOCTOR: Hmm? IAN: We can get down to the ground with this! DOCTOR: Yes...yes, if we can break it. IAN: Well, there's a junction box over here. (They walk over to one end of the cable that terminates at a series of electronic boxes on one side of the roof building.) DOCTOR: Yeah... IAN: A few good pulls, this will come away. Come on, let's get the others. DOCTOR: Yes, come along, come along! (They run back inside.) [SCENE_BREAK] 15: INT. MECHANUS. CITY. ROOM (They descend down the wooden platform.) BARBARA: Well? Any chance? IAN: Yes, but it's going to be dangerous. STEVEN TAYLOR: What? Do you mean the cable? IAN: Yeah, do you think there's enough? STEVEN TAYLOR: Maybe. I thought of trying it myself once. I couldn't have managed it on my own. BARBARA: (Nervously.) Hey, wait a minute, where's this leading us? IAN: Down to the ground. BARBARA: (Incredulous.) We climb down...fifteen hundred feet of cable! VICKI: (Scared.) I'm not very good on heights. DOCTOR: Yes, it sounds rather risky. BARBARA: Well, I agree! STEVEN TAYLOR: Look, the cable's strong, it wouldn't break. IAN: I think it's the only chance we've got. BARBARA: Well, I don't like it. VICKI: Look! (The slatted window opens...) [SCENE_BREAK] 16: INT. MECHANUS. CITY. LANDING (...to reveal the DALEK with the perceptor approaching a MECHONOID.) SECOND DALEK: Where are the space travellers? MECHONOID: Zero. [SCENE_BREAK] 17: INT. MECHANUS. CITY. ROOM VICKI: Daleks! IAN: Well, that settles it! DOCTOR: Go on, go on! (They all, except for the DOCTOR, start to ascend the platform.) IAN: On the roof, quick! DOCTOR: Go on! (The DOCTOR turns to his machine which he places in the middle of the floor and sets.) DOCTOR: Now, I think we'll leave them something to remember us by, mmm? (He grabs his stick and follows the others up to the roof.) [SCENE_BREAK] 18: INT. MECHANUS. CITY. LANDING (The SECOND DALEK confronts the MECHONOID.) SECOND DALEK: You will be annihilated! (It fires. The MECHONOID spins round as it is exterminated.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19: INT. MECHANUS. CITY. ROOM (The DALEK and another then examine the recently vacated cell. One DALEK looks up at the platform.) FOURTH DALEK: Dispatch a section to the roof area. SECOND DALEK: I obey. (The SECOND DALEK glides towards the door. The other turns round...and buffets the DOCTOR'S machine. There is an explosion and smoke. The DALEK spins round in its death throes.) FOURTH DALEK: Am exterminated! Am exterminated! Argh...argh...argh...arggghhhh! (The SECOND DALEK, in watching its companion fails to see another MECHONOID approaching. The robot opens its arms and grasps the DALEK.) SECOND DALEK: Totally immobilised. MECHONOID: Trapped...trapped. [SCENE_BREAK] 20: EXT. MECHANUS. CITY. ROOF (The DOCTOR, IAN, BARBARA and STEVEN pull the cable out of the junction box whilst VICKI stands on the edge of the roof looking in terror at the jungle down below.) IAN: I think we've fused it. (They start to unwind from cable from around its drum.) DOCTOR: Never mind about that. Let's get on with this. Come along! Quickly! Get that...come on! (BARBARA notices VICKI and walks over to her.) STEVEN TAYLOR: That's all right. There's plenty ... (VICKI almost faints but BARBARA grabs her in time.) BARBARA: Vicki, come and help us. STEVEN TAYLOR: We're going to have to lower her. (IAN and the DOCTOR join BARBARA in trying to reassure VICKI as STEVEN continues to prepare the cable.) IAN: Vicki...Vicki, listen to me. We'll tie the cable round you and lower you to the ground. VICKI: (Terrified.) No! IAN: You'll be quite safe. VICKI: No! I can't! (IAN goes back to assisting STEVEN as the DOCTOR pulls his handkerchief out. Behind them, smoke is starting to come out of the exit from the city.) DOCTOR: Vicki, my dear, I'm going to blindfold you... VICKI: No! No! DOCTOR: ...and you won't be able to see a thing. You'll be quite safe. Now come along. VICKI: I can't, no! (BARBARA starts to put on the blindfold.) DOCTOR: Now come along child... VICKI: I can't, no! DOCTOR: Pull your self together... (IAN and STEVEN have fashioned a noose out of the cable and approach VICKI to tie it round her.) VICKI: Don't! No! DOCTOR: Vicki, come along, come along! VICKI: I... (IAN puts the cable round her.) IAN: Quick, lift up your arms... VICKI: No...! IAN: Now... (He hands her the length of the cable.) Now hold onto this, Vicki. VICKI: No...I can't. IAN: There, that's it. (BARBARA helps push her to the edge of the roof.) VICKI: Please! I can't! IAN: It's all right. VICKI: Please let... IAN: Right. (VICKI clings onto BARBARA.) BARBARA: I know you'll be safe. All right? VICKI: No, please...let me... BARBARA: Look, let go. DOCTOR: Come along... VICKI: No...no...no! (BARBARA manages to free VICKI'S grip and makes her hold the cable.) BARBARA: Hold on to this. VICKI: No...no...! BARBARA: Okay. (They start to let her down. The DOCTOR notices the smoke.) DOCTOR: Good gracious! The place is on fire! STEVEN TAYLOR: But Hi-fi! I've got to get the mascot! (He lets go of the cable and climbs back into the building.) DOCTOR: No, Steven! IAN: Steven, what are you doing?! (IAN also lets go of the cable. VICKI drops with a scream and BARBARA starts to be pulled over the edge.) IAN: Get hold of her! What are you doing! DOCTOR: Come back! (The two men manage to pull BARBARA back onto the roof.) [SCENE_BREAK] 21: INT. MECHANUS. CITY. ROOM (In the smoke filled interior of his former cell, STEVEN looks frantically round for his mascot, managing to avoid a DALEK in the process.) [SCENE_BREAK] 22: EXT. MECHANUS. CITY (A MECHONOID glides along to ramp to the city. Within the main confines of the city, several MECHONOIDS line up for battle...) MECHONOID: Follow...Mechonoid...attack...system. (A group of DALEKS await them...) FIRST DALEK: To defy Daleks is death! (More DALEKS glide through the city...) SECOND DALEK: We await commands! THIRD DALEK: The operation will proceed at once. (A MECHONOID stands in front of them.) MECHONOID: Defend...threat. FIRST DALEK: They must be destroyed. (More MECHONOIDS glide into sight.) MECHONOID: Escalate...output. (The DALEKS glide to forward to meet them.) FIRST DALEK: Exterminate them! Exterminate! MECHONOID: Attack...here. FIRST DALEK: Annihilate! (A disc shaped weapon extends from the main body of the MECHONOID.) MECHONOID: Fire. (A DALEK glides into position. The MECHONOID fires. Its weapon is a flame thrower. The DALEK fires at the same time and the MECHONOID explodes. Another MECHONOID explodes under similar fire. The DALEKS and MECHONOIDS join battle as smoke and flame fill the air. One DALEK is grasped in the MECHONOIDS arms. The flame from another MECHONOID causes a DALEK to explode. Confusion reigns as the battle hots up. More DALEK fire causes another MECHONOID to explode but the two sides are evenly matched in an inferno of MECHONOID flames and DALEK fire power. Soon the air is filled with massive explosions as the battle reaches a crescendo...) [SCENE_BREAK] 23: EXT. MECHANUS. JUNGLE (The smoke and noise from the battle reach the jungle floor where BARBARA assists an overcome VICKI, the two of them having made it safely to the ground.) BARBARA: Vicki! (VICKI coughs again.) BARBARA: Vicki, are you all right? VICKI: Yes...yes thanks. How about the others? BARBARA: They're fine. Now Vicki, remember the Doctor's device? Well it worked! The city's on fire. Look, you can see! (The DOCTOR reaches the base of the cable which dangles next to one of the city's stilted columns. He rushes over to the two women.) DOCTOR: Vicki, my child, are you all right, Mmm? VICKI: Yes, yes thanks. DOCTOR: Come along, let's get back to the TARDIS. VICKI: Well, what about Steven? Where is he? BARBARA: Steven...went back to the city. (IAN is coming down the cable in the background.) VICKI: What for? DOCTOR: We don't know, my child, and his chances of survival in this furnace are utterly... VICKI: ... (IAN reaches the end of the cable and rushes over to the others.) IAN: Quick! That cable's on fire! The whole buildings collapsing! (They start to run off, straight past a hovering fungoid.) VICKI: (Concerned over STEVEN.) No, we can't! [SCENE_BREAK] 24: EXT. MECHANUS. CITY (The city is a total inferno. Consumed by flames and rent by explosions, the stilts collapse and the structure falls over in a huge ball of fire...) [SCENE_BREAK] 25: EXT. JUNGLE. DALEK LANDING SITE (The DOCTOR, BARBARA and VICKI wait nervously outside the DALEK time machine. VICKI goes to step forward but BARBARA holds her back. A DALEK type voice is heard from within.) IAN: (OOV: inside time machine and imitating a DALEK.) Halt! You will be exterminated! (The three step back. IAN walks out, holding his nose to achieve a nasal twang and his other arm out in imitation of a DALEK gun.) IAN: Exterminated! BARBARA: Oh, Ian! (The two women laugh. IAN rushes over to the DOCTOR and shakes his hand excitedly.) IAN: (Exultant.) Doctor, it's empty! You've done it again! You've beaten them! (VICKI and BARBARA shriek with delight.) DOCTOR: My dear boy, I could kiss you! BARBARA: Don't waste it on him, kiss me instead! (BARBARA and the DOCTOR hug while IAN spins a laughing VICKI round.) DOCTOR: Oh ... delighted! (The DOCTOR gestures to the DALEK time machine.) DOCTOR: You know this must be an extremely advanced machine. IAN: (Laughs.) Yes. (They walk over to it.) DOCTOR: Wherever we went, it followed us with...such great precision and accuracy. You could travel anywhere in it. VICKI: It's huge inside, you know. Just like the TARDIS. DOCTOR: Of course, my dear, I've forgotten - you've taken a trip in it. VICKI: Er, shall I show you round? (They laugh.) DOCTOR: My dear, I shall be delighted! IAN: After you! (The DOCTOR bows to IAN and follows VICKI into the machine. BARBARA is about to follow but stops on the threshold and turns to IAN.) BARBARA: Ian...do you realise...we could get home? IAN: (Quietly.) Home...yes. Do you want to? BARBARA: (Smiling and nods.) Yes...I...I never realised it before. IAN: Neither did I. We may never get another chance. BARBARA: Do you think we could work it? IAN: Well, would the Doctor take us? BARBARA: Let's ask him. (They rush into the machine.) [SCENE_BREAK] 26: EXT. MECHANUS. ANOTHER PART OF THE JUNGLE (Carrying his beloved mascot, STEVEN TAYLOR stumbles through the jungle.) STEVEN TAYLOR: (Shouts.) Doctor! (A fungoid attacks him but he manages to scramble away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 27: EXT. MECHANUS. JUNGLE. DALEK LANDING SITE (The peace of the jungle is interrupted by the furious tones of the DOCTOR.) DOCTOR: (OOV.) I don't want to know! [SCENE_BREAK] (He shouting is mingled in with similar yells from BARBARA as they all come out of the machine. VICKI hangs back watching the argument.) DOCTOR: I want none of this! BARBARA: ... common sense! DOCTOR: (Furious.) I've never heard such nonsense in my life! You will end up as a couple of burnt cinders, flying around in pa...in space. You idiots! You are absolute idiots! BARBARA: (Shouting.) We are not idiots! We want to go home! IAN: Yes home! I want to sit in a pub and drink a pint of beer again! I...I want to walk in a park and watch a cricket match. Above all, I want to...belong somewhere, do something, instead of this aimless drifting around in space. DOCTOR: Aimless?! I've tried for two years to get you both home! IAN: Well, you haven't been very successful, have you? DOCTOR: How dare you, young man. (Louder still.) How dare you sir! (Quieter.) I didn't even invite you into the ship in the first place. You both thrust yourselves upon me! BARBARA: (In exasperation.) Oh, Doctor, stop it! DOCTOR: Oh, for heavens sake, I've never heard such nonsense! BARBARA: (Quieter.) Look, I know we thrust ourselves upon you, but we've through a great deal together since then. And all we've been through will remain with us always. It'll probably be the most exciting part of my life. Look Doctor, we're different people...and now we have a chance to go home. We want to take that chance. Will you help us...work that machine? DOCTOR: No! No! I will not aid and abet suicide. IAN: Oh, he's as stubborn as a mule! (The two teachers stalk off. VICKI comes up to the DOCTOR and touches his arm. He jumps.) DOCTOR: Mmm! VICKI: Doctor...Doctor, you've got to let them go if they want to. They want to be back in their own time. DOCTOR: (Snaps.) Don't you want to go with them, child, mm? VICKI: What for? What would I want to be back in their time for? I want to be with you. (The DOCTOR laughs, somewhat bad-naturedly.) VICKI: Doctor, you've got to help them. DOCTOR: Don't you realise, child, the enormous risks? VICKI: (Nods.) But it's up to them. (The DOCTOR considers for a moment, then crosses to the teachers.) DOCTOR: Do you both realise the enormous risks? IAN: (Nods.) We do. We still want to go. BARBARA: Please, Doctor. (The DOCTOR accepts the situation.) DOCTOR: Very well, follow me. (He starts to lead them into the machine, but turns back with one last warning.) DOCTOR: But you must follow my instructions implicitly, understood? Implicitly! You will both have about a fifty-fifty chance. Follow me, come along. (They all enter the machine.) [SCENE_BREAK] 28: EXT. MECHANUS. JUNGLE. DALEK LANDING SITE (LATER) (Some time later, the DOCTOR and VICKI exit the machine and watch, sadly, as it disappears. Then the DOCTOR leads VICKI away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 29: EXT. LONDON. STREET (IAN walks out of a door in a set of wooden gates which have "NO PARKING IN FRONT OF THIS GARAGE" painted on them. He looks across the road and sees the front of White City underground station across the road. A car is parked in front of the gates. He checks the tax disc in the window. It is has an expiry date of December 1965. He goes back to the door as BARBARA comes out.) IAN: Barbara! We made it! BARBARA: I don't believe it! IAN: London 1965! BARBARA: Hey, we're two years out. IAN: Oh, what's two years amongst friends? We're home! (He kisses her.) I'll just go and press that button. (He goes back through the doors and the bleeping noise of a countdown can be heard. IAN runs out.) IAN: Run! (The two run across the street and shelter next to a building. The garage is rocked by a huge explosion.) IAN: Well, that's out paid to the Daleks time travelling for a while. BARBARA: It'll give the Doctor a breather anyway. IAN: Yes. I wonder where he is right now? (BARBARA looks up to the sky.) BARBARA: Hey, Doctor, wherever you are... (The sound of many feet running up to the sight of the explosion can be heard.) IAN: Shh! There's someone coming. BARBARA: (Loud whisper.) Goodbye, Doctor! Thanks for the ride! IAN: (Similar loud whisper.) It was fun Doctor! Goodbye! (They run off...) [SCENE_BREAK] 30: EXT. LONDON. IAN & BARBARA'S RETURN (IAN and BARBARA enjoy an exuberant return to London. In Trafalgar Square, they feed the pigeons and, like children, climb over Landseer's lions at the base of Nelson's column. BARBARA jumps for joy as they run along Albert Embankment but IAN'S impression of one of the faces of the Dolphin lamps that adorn the embankment is halted when he sees a sight which causes a look of horror to appear on his face - a Police Box! It is, however, the genuine article which they enjoy playing over. After another childish romp through a park, they end up in Regent Street where they catch a bus...) [SCENE_BREAK] 31: INT. BUS (The two collapse exhausted, but happy, into their seats on the bus.) BARBARA: Ah...oh, I enjoyed that! IAN: Yes! So did I. BUS CONDUCTOR: (OOV: To another passenger.) Fare's please. IAN: (Looking out of the window.) Oh, it's great to be back. Nothing seems to have changed. BARBARA: Oh, you wait 'til we get back to Coal Hill Sc... (She stops as a thought strikes her.) Hey! BUS CONDUCTOR: (OOV.) Any more fare's please? BARBARA: How are we going to explain our absence? IAN: Yeah...that's a point, isn't it? We'll have to think of something. It had better be good, eh? (The BUS CONDUCTOR reaches the two teachers.) BUS CONDUCTOR: Fare's please. IAN: (Reaching into his pocket.) Oh, er, two "three's" please. BUS CONDUCTOR: Two "three's"? You must be joking. Where've you been? On the Moon? IAN: Er, no, but you're getting warm! BARBARA: (To IAN.) Shh! (The BUS CONDUCTOR'S look of confusion causes the two teachers to burst into laughter...) [SCENE_BREAK] 32: INT. TARDIS. CONSOLE ROOM (Several centuries later, the DOCTOR and VICKI watch this scene on the Time and Space Visualiser. VICKI switches the machine off and hugs the DOCTOR.) VICKI: Doctor, they made it! They made it! (The old man hardly responds. VICKI, seeing the sadness in his face, steps back.) DOCTOR: (Quietly.) I shall miss them. Yes, I shall miss them. (He smiles.) Silly old fusspots. (He puts his arm round VICKI.) DOCTOR: Come along, my dear, it's time we were off. (They walk off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 33: EXT. MECHANUS. JUNGLE. TARDIS LANDING SITE (The TARDIS dematerialises...) [SCENE_BREAK] 34: VORTEX (...and free of its pursuers, continues its journeys through time and space.)

Plan: A: The travellers; Q: Who is taken prisoner by the Mechonoids? A: the Moroks' museum; Q: Where did the travellers get the Time-Space Visualiser? A: their own time machine; Q: What do the Daleks have that the Doctor and his companions need to escape? A: the TARDIS; Q: What do the Doctor and his companions flee in? A: The chase; Q: What begins on the desert planet Aridius? A: stopping-off points; Q: What does the chase take in a number of? A: a spooky haunted house; Q: What is actually a futuristic fun-fair attraction? A: a futuristic fun-fair attraction; Q: What is the haunted house on Aridius actually? A: the jungle planet Mechanus; Q: Where do the Daleks try to kill the Doctor's party? A: the Mechonoids - robots; Q: Who takes the Doctor's party prisoner? A: landing sites; Q: What were the Mechonoids sent to prepare for colonists who never arrived? A: human colonists; Q: Who were the Mechonoids sent to prepare landing sites for? A: Steven Taylor; Q: Who is the stranded astronaut who has been the Mechonoids' captive for the past two years? A: The Daleks; Q: Who is on the Doctor's trail? A: a fierce battle; Q: What does the Daleks and Mechonoids engage in that ends in their mutual destruction? A: The Doctor; Q: Who reluctantly helps Ian and Barbara to use the Daleks' time machine to return home? Summary: The travellers learn from the Time-Space Visualiser taken from the Moroks' museum that Daleks equipped with their own time machine are on their trail with orders to exterminate them. They flee in the TARDIS. The chase begins on the desert planet Aridius and takes in a number of stopping-off points, including a spooky haunted house which is actually a futuristic fun-fair attraction. Eventually both time machines arrive on the jungle planet Mechanus, where the Daleks try to infiltrate and kill the Doctor's party with a robotic double of him. The travellers are taken prisoner by the Mechonoids - robots sent some fifty years earlier to prepare landing sites for human colonists who never arrived - and meet Steven Taylor, a stranded astronaut who has been the Mechonoids' captive for the past two years. The Daleks and the Mechonoids engage in a fierce battle which ends in their mutual destruction. The Doctor's party seizes this opportunity to escape. The Doctor reluctantly helps Ian and Barbara to use the Daleks' time machine to return home.

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is sitting at the counter reading a magazine as the phone rings.] Joey: (answering phone) Hello. Chandler: (on phone) Hey, it's me. I know you can't stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought I'd try and apologize over the phone. All I... (Joey hangs up the phone in disgust.) (Pause) (The phone rings again.) Joey: (answering phone) Hello. Chandler: Look I never should have kissed your girlfriend, but I'm... (Joey hangs up the phone again.) (Pause) (The phone rings yet again.) Joey: (answering phone) Stop callin'!! Voice: (on phone) Hey! Hey! Hey! This is 92.3, WXRK, K-Rock for our $1,000 daily challenge. Joey: All right! Voice: What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything... (Joey realizes it's Chandler and hangs up the phone in anger.) OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey and Chandler are there getting ready for Thanksgiving.] Chandler: (entering) Aww, turkey! Aww, giving thanks! Aww! Phoebe: Look everyone, it's the spirit of Thanksgiving! Rachel: So are things with you and Joey any better? Chandler: They couldn't be worse. I spent eight hours calling him last night, just trying to get him to talk to me. Rachel: Oh wow, eight hours? So you could probably really use one of those plug-in telephone headsets huh? Ross: Should we all expect Christmas gifts that can be stolen from your office? Rachel: You shouldn't. Phoebe: Speaking of Christmas, umm since Monica and I are starting a new business and have like no money, umm, this year maybe we could do secret Santa, and then we each only buy one gift. And-and there's the added mystery of who gets who. Ross: Who gets whom. (They all look at him.) I don't know why I do that. [Cut to later, the gang, minus Joey, is watching the Thanksgiving Day parade.] Rachel: Well, I'm gonna take a nap, turkey makes me sleepy. Monica: We haven't eaten yet! Rachel: I know, but all that work you're doing to get it ready, I just... (goes into her bedroom.) Chandler: Hey, by any chance did either of pick uh Rachel for your secret Santa, 'cause I wanna trade for her. Phoebe: I picked her! Oh thank God you want her! Ooh! Chandler: Wow! Why do you want to get rid of her so badly? Phoebe: Because she exchanges every gift she ever gets, it's like impossible to get her something she likes. Come on, let's trade! Chandler: Oh that's not true! That's not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it! I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off with it... (notices the look on Monica and Phoebe's faces.) Oh, there was no big dog. All right this sucks! I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on it... (Phoebe looks confused.) Her initials... Phoebe: Ohh. Monica: Well, maybe you could give to somebody else. Ooh, like Ross Geller. Chandler: Op, y'know what though, it's kind've a girlie briefcase. Monica: Who cares? He works in a museum! Chandler: Hey, what time is it? The big game is about to start! Phoebe: You don't have to do that, Ross and Joey aren't here, you can watch the parade if you want. Chandler: Thanks. Monica: What is wrong with this freezer?! (She jabs her arm into the freezer and a piece of ice flies into her eye.) Ow! Ow!! Phoebe: God, what happened?! Monica: Oh my God, ice just got in my eye! Rachel: (standing in her doorway) People are trying to sleep in here! Chandler: Monica got ice in her eye, and it hurts. Phoebe: Open it up, let me see. Monica: Oh, y'know what, I can't, it really kills. Chandler: Well maybe you should put some ice on it. Phoebe: Ooh, God it looks bad. Rachel: Honey, maybe we should take you to a doctor. Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I can't go to him when I don't have a boyfriend! Chandler: He's really picky about his patients. Phoebe: Honey, you've got to go. What's his office number? Monica: Like I remember his office number! (Pause) Speed dial 7. Phoebe: (on phone) Hi! Yeah, I'm calling on behalf of Monica Geller's eye, and is um, is Richard Burke in today. (Listens) (to Monica) He's out of town, but does she want to see the on-call doctor? Monica: Yes!! Phoebe: Yes! She's very excited about that. [Cut to later, Phoebe is adding butter to something and Ross is watching.] Phoebe: This is so cool, 'til Monica gets back, it's like I'm head chef and I get to make all the decisions. (She looks at the remaining butter, and then decides to add it to the dish.) Ross: Hey-hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly! Phoebe: Okay, get out of my kitchen! Chandler: (entering) All right! Okay! I think I am making some progress with Joey, when I went into the apartment he went straight into his bedroom but he only slammed the door once! (Ross is pleased.) I mean yeah, he gave me the finger while doing it. Phoebe: All right I... I gotta call my mom and ask her a left handed cooking question. Ross: So listen ah, I picked Monica for secret Santa, but I'm already getting her something for Chanukah, I was wondering if you wanna switch. Chandler: Oh y'know what, I was already trying to trade for ah, well, you. Ross: Really?! Wow! That's-that's so nice, what are you gonna get me? Chandler: I don't know R.G., I was thinking something girlie for your office. Ross: Yeah, well maybe Phoebe will switch with me. Chandler: Oh no-no-no, you don't want to do that, then you're gonna get stuck with Rachel and she exchanges every gift she ever gets. Ross: Oh, that's not true! I've got her lots of stuff she never took back. Chandler: Like? Ross: Like uh, that gold necklace I got her last year. Chandler: When was the last time you saw her wear it? Ross: Well, she wore it all Christmas day, and then uh... Chandler: Big dog? [Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is repacking the furniture into boxes to return it.] Ross: (entering) Hey! Joey: Hey! Ross: What are you doing? Joey: I'm sending back all this stuff that Chandler bought out of guilt. Ross: Everything? Even the TV? Joey: No! I'm putting that in my room. Ross: Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but don't you think you could at least hear the guy out? Joey: Back when you and Rachel were together, if Chandler had kissed her, would you hear him out? Ross: That's a good point. So uh, how long are you gonna punish him? Joey: Five years. Ross: You've sentenced him?! Joey: Hey! Don't do the crime if you can't do the time. Ross: Joey, the guy's your best friend. Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I don't know why you're pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, there's a spot open. Ross: Oh, who? Me? Joey: Yeah! Ross: Wow! I'm honored! And y'know what I'm gonna do as my first act as your best friend? Joey: What? Ross: I'm gonna get you to talk to Chandler. Joey: All right. But if you weren't my best friend. [Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Kathy are sitting at a table and talking about Joey.] KATHY: Oh my God, is it really that bad? Chandler: I walk into a room and he won't even talk to me, he just mumbles something in Italian. And I know he only knows the bad words. Joey: (entering) Hey Gunther, have you uh, have you seen Chandler? GUNTHER: I thought you were Chandler. But umm, one of who is over there. (Joey turns around and sees them kissing.) KATHY: Oh. Chandler: Hey Joe. Joey: (Something in Italian.) (Storms out.) [Scene: Dr. Burke's office, Rachel and Monica are waiting as the doctor arrives.] Doctor: I'll be right with you. Okay? (to the nurse) Thanks, Wendy. Monica: Oh my God! How cute is the on-call doctor? Rachel: Ooh, so cute, that I'm thinking about jamming this pen in my eye. (The intercom buzzes.) Nurse: Dr. Burke will see you know. Monica: Oh no-no-no, not Dr. Burke. Dr. Burke is out of town. The-the on-call doctor will see me now. Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now. Dr. Timothy Burke: Ready? (Monica looks at Rachel, who gives her the thumbs up.) [Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is packing as Chandler rushes in.] Chandler: Hey! I'm sorry! That-(sees that Joey is about to leave) where are you going? Joey: My folks. Chandler: Oh, uh, when-when are you coming back? Joey: I don't know. I might stay there for a few days while I look for an apartment. Chandler: What?! Joey: Yeah, y'know at first I thought we could talk about this y'know, work it out, but uh, seeing you two together I don't think I... Chandler: Hey, look, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to say that I'll stop seeing her? Joey: Look, it's not about her. Okay? But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did. And I don't want to live with some one who doesn't know what it is to be a friend. So, I'll see ya. (He starts to leave, but Chandler grabs his bag and stops him.) Chandler: Hey, look, I know what it is to be a friend, I just-I just screwed up! Joey: Yeah! You did! And that's why I'm leaving. (The chick and the duck walk into the living room.) Chandler: All right look, if you're not gonna stay for me, then at least stay for them! Okay, they have had a very difficult year! What with the robbery and all! Joey: When that guy was robbing us, and I was locked in the entertainment unit for like six hours, you know what I was doing in there all that time? I was thinking about how I let you down! Chandler: What? Joey: Yeah! But if would've know what kind of friend you were gonna turn out to be, I wouldn't have worried about it so much! See you around! Chandler: All right, wait! Come on! Just wait one second! There has to be something that I can do! Something! If we still had that entertainment unit I would get in it for six hours and think about how I let you down. (Joey looks intrigued) What? Joey: We've got a box. (Motions to a large wooden box next to him.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Dr. Burke's office, Tim is examining Monica.] Tim: Last time I saw you, it was the morning I left for college. And you were just standing outside The Dairy Queen. Monica: I was probably waiting for it to open. Tim: I gotta tell you, you look great now. Monica: You look great too. Tim: You're an excellent patient! Monica: So how does it look? Tim: Well, you've got a little scratch on your cornea, your gonna have to wear a patch for a couple of days. Monica: Like a pirate?! Tim: If that helps you. Monica: Umm, so how long have you been working with your dad? (He looks at her) Come on, one of us had to mention him. Tim: I moved back here a couple of months ago. Monica: Oh. Big family dinner tonight? Tim: Uh. (He holds up a brown lunch bag.) Monica: No way! Tim: I was gonna have Thanksgiving at my girlfriend's. Monica: (disappointed) Oh. Tim: But we broke up. Monica: (happy) Oh. Tim: She-she wasn't ready for a serious commitment. Monica: (sympathetic) Oh. (in a pirate's voice) So you made her walk the plank? Aye, matie? Tim: You're not wearing the patch yet. Monica: I know. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, It's closer to dinner. Monica has just told everyone that Tim is coming to dinner.] Ross: He's coming here for Thanksgiving! Rachel: I know, it's sick. Monica: Why is it sick? Rachel: Because it's Richard's son! It's like inviting Greek tragedy over for dinner! Monica: Hey, come on, Phoebe, you understand don't you? Phoebe: Yeah, I can see where I'd be your best shot but, no. I'm sorry, but I think it's twisted. Ross: Yeah. Joey: (coming out of the bathroom) What's twisted? Monica: Me going out with Richard's son. Joey: Ewwwww!! Ew! Ew! Ew! Chandler: (He is now in the box, in their living room.) Sounds like a really bad idea to me. Rachel: Is he okay in there? Joey: He's fine! Ross: Hey, y'know, Mon, if things wrong out between you and Richard's son, you'd be able to tell your kids, that you slept with their grandfather. Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girl's wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin' in a box!! (goes to her room) Rachel: So now, what exactly is the point of the box? Joey: Chandler? Chandler: The meaning of the box is three fold. One (holds a finger up through the air hole), it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two (holds up another finger), it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three (holds up a third finger), it hurts! Ross: (to Rachel) Oh hey! Hey uh, you remember the necklace I gave you last year? Can I see it? Rachel: (worried) Why? Ross: I just wanna check something. Rachel: Okay. (She goes into her bedroom) Ross: (He puts his hand over the hole on the box.) (to Chandler) Now, we'll see. Chandler: Air hole! Air hole!! (Ross retracts his hand quickly.) Rachel: (coming out of her bedroom with a necklace) Here it is! I love it. I wear it all the time. Ross: (grabbing the necklace) The necklace I got you was gold, this one is silver. Rachel: Huh, well maybe it uh, it changed. Ross: Oh my God! You actually exchanged it! Rachel: Well isn't it better that I exchanged it for something that I enjoy and that I can get a lot of use out of? Ross: What did you get? Rachel: Credit. (There's a knock on the door.) Monica: (running in from her bedroom) I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it! (opens the door) Hi, Tim. Tim: Hi. (gives her a bottle of wine) Monica: Thank you. Come meet my friends. This is uh, Phoebe. Tim: Hi, nice to meet you. Monica: And Joey. Joey: Hey! Tim: Hi, Joey. Monica: My brother, Ross. Ross: Hey. Monica: And Rachel. (Chandler clears his voice loudly) And that's Chandler. Chandler: How do ya do. Tim: What's... Monica: Umm, well, he's... Joey: He's doin' some thinkin'! [SCENE_BREAK] [cut to later, Joey, Rachel, Ross, and Tim are watching the football game, and they all cheer loudly.] Chandler: What happened? What happened?! Joey: You kissed my girlfriend! (A commercial for sunglasses comes on.) Rachel: Ooh, I like those sunglasses. Ross: Like 'em, like 'em? Or, I'd like to get store credit for that amount like 'em? Rachel: (Swears in Italian, it's the same term used by Joey earlier and Joey nods his approval.) Monica: All right everybody, this turkey is ready! Tim: Where can I wash up? Monica: Here, let me show you. Okay, the towels are hanging next to the sink, and umm, you can use the fancy soap. Tim: Thank you. Rachel: Fancy soap? I thought we were savin' that for the Pope! Monica: See he's nice. Right? Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "That's not how your dad used to do it." Tim: Wow! Everything looks great! Where should I sit? Monica: I saved you a seat. (Motions to the one next to her.) Rachel: (pouring the wine) Sick-sick-sick-sick. (There's a loud knocking.) Phoebe: Oh, I'll get it. (goes over to the door.) Chandler: Gotcha! (laughs) Joey: That doesn't sound like thinking to me! Chandler: Sorry! Joey: Y'know I don't think you should be talking at all in there! I think you've got to much thinking to do to be talking and making jokes! Chandler: Okay, okay, you got it! Rachel: Ross, can you pass me the yams? Ross: Sure! Oh, and Joey's got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange them. Rachel: Would you stop?! What is the matter with you?! Monica: Oh-ho-ho, we've got company. Ross: There's nothing the matter with me. See, I'm not completely devoid of sentiment, see I have feelings. Rachel: Okay, fine. (She gets up and walks into her bedroom) (an awkward silence follows) Chandler: You can't tell, but I'm trying to break the tension by mooning you guys! Joey: All right, look! If this is just a big joke to you, then forget about it, all right?! This means something to me! And if it doesn't mean anything to you, then you should get out of there, otherwise you're just an idiot in a box! Chandler: You're right, and I'm sorry! This means a lot to me! I want you to be my friend again! I swear, I won't say another word tonight. Joey: So are you gonna start taking this thing seriously? Chandler: Absolutely! Joey: That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously? (There's no response from Chandler.) Okay. (Rachel comes back carrying a shoe box.) Rachel: Don't say that I have no sentiment! (Starts to show Ross what's in the box.) This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! (Holds up a bone) This is from the museum from the first time we... were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter! Ross: I don't know what to say, I'm sorry. Though, you're not supposed to take these. (Points to the bone) It's like a million years old, we, we actually, we had people looking for that. (Rachel glares at him.) [Cut to the balcony with Monica and Tim.] Monica: (putting off her coat) Ooh, this always happens. (Her coat gets stuck.) Tim: Here, let me help. (Does so.) Monica: Thank you. Tim: You-you have a very beautiful... eye. Monica: Y'know all my friends think this is weird. Tim: Y'know I-I thought it was gonna be weird, I mean I almost called and canceled, but it really isn't. Monica: I know! I mean it's like me and your dad, that's a totally separate thing. Tim: Oh, I totally agree. Monica: We're just two people who find each other very attractive. Right? (Tim leans in to kiss her. They stop, and when he tries to kiss her again, Monica pulls away.) Tim: What? Monica: Nothing. Nothing. Tim: No-no really, was-was that not okay? Monica: No-no-no that was good, it was, that was uh, that was a goood kiss... Tim: Oh my God! It didn't remind you of... Monica: (interrupting) Don't say it! Tim: No, but it did! Didn't it?! Monica: Yeah! Tim: Oh man!! Monica: I know! (They both shiver in horror.) [cut to later, Tim has left. Monica is still shivering. There's a knock on the door.] Joey: I'll get it. (It's Kathy.) KATHY: (sees it's Joey) Oh. Joey: Hey. KATHY: Hey. Listen, I want you to know how sorry I am... Joey: That's okay. Chandler's the one I'm mad at. KATHY: Well, I'm still sorry. Is he here? Joey: In the box. KATHY: (going over to the box) Chandler? Phoebe: Oh, he-he can't talk right now. KATHY: Why not? What's going on? Phoebe: He's just trying to show Joey how much he means to him. KATHY: By being in a box? Rachel: Joey, had reasons. Phoebe: They were threefold. KATHY: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm... (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I don't wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I can't stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I don't wanna be the cause of that. So, I don't think we can see each other anymore. I'm gonna go to my mom's in Chicago, I'm gonna stay there for awhile. I think this could've be something really amazing, but y'know this is probably for the best. Y'know? I'm gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler. (She gets up and leaves, Chandler waves good-bye with one finger extended through the air hole. Ross glares at Joey.) Joey: (starting to cry) Open the box!! (Runs over to do so.) Rachel: What?! Joey: He can still catch her! Come on, get out of there! (He opens the box) Get out of there! Chandler: So? Joey: Yeah, we're gonna be fine! Get out! Chandler: Yeah? Joey: Yeah, you did some real good thinkin' in there. Chandler: Man, this is... (Joey says something unintelligible and they hug.) Joey: Now go! 'Cause you can still catch her! And Merry Christmas from you're secret Santa! (Chandler runs out and closes the door.) (After he's gone.) Joey: All right, who got Chandler? 'Cause I uh, need to trade. CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, the gang is all there watching Chandler.] Rachel: Oh, he sees her! Monica: Oh, he's catching up to her! Phoebe: Oh, she sees him! Oh, they're hugging! Ross: He's taking her purse! Joey: Uhh, that's not them. I'm gonna go call the police. Phoebe: Oh, there they are! (They watch them making up and sigh) Phoebe: All right, get a room.

Plan: A: Thanksgiving dinner; Q: When does Joey punish Chandler for kissing Kathy? A: Joey; Q: Who punishes Chandler for kissing Kathy? A: his approval; Q: What does Joey give to Chandler and Kathy? A: Rachel; Q: Who is Ross shocked to learn exchanges every gift she is given? A: Richard Burke's; Q: Whose son does Monica become infatuated with? A: also an eye doctor; Q: What is Richard Burke's son's profession? A: an appointment; Q: What does Monica have with Richard Burke's son? Summary: During Thanksgiving dinner, Joey punishes Chandler for kissing Kathy by sentencing him to "time out" inside a crate. Joey finally relents and gives Chandler and Kathy his approval. Ross is shocked to learn that Rachel exchanges every gift she is given, but she shows Ross that she keeps things that matter. Monica becomes infatuated by Richard Burke's son, also an eye doctor, when she has an appointment with him.

There wasn't a 'previously on Angel' segment as such, just something like a promortional recap of the whole arc to date with a narrator bridging some of the gaps between the cuts used in it (some of which were even from later on in *this* episode, not from prior episodes at all). I've decided to include the dialogue of it, but I'm not sure if this was actually put together by the staff or was something the WB did to promote the whole story. Lindsey: "We don't want him dead. We want him dark." Wesley: "There are forces that can make Angel revert to Angelus, the vampire he was before he got a soul." We see a part of the dream sequence between Buffy and Angel from "Amends" ending with him vamping out. Narrator: "He turned his back on humanity to seek revenge on the one that damned him into eternal darkness." We see Angel drop the cigarette to light the gasoline, the flame racing towards Dru and Darla. Then a picture of Darla in the alley just before turning Liam into a vampire. Lilah: "For god's sake, help us!" Holland: "People are gonna die." Angel closing doors: "I just can't seem to care." Kate: "The victims were locked in that wine cellar with their attackers and I think I am *done* helping you now." Wesley: "What you did..." Cordy: "...was wrong." Wesley: "Right now the three of us are all that's standing between you and real darkness." Angel: "You're all fired." Narrator: "With no allegiance to good or evil, he deserted his trusted allies." Wesley gets shot. Angel looks at Wesley lying on the bed in the hospital through the window from the corridor. Cordy: "Wesley doesn't need you right now. *We* don't need you." Narrator: "He falls further and further from grace." Holland: "The world doesn't work in spite of evil. It works because of us." Darla: "What are you doing?" Angel: "It doesn't matter. None of it matters." As Darla and Angel go at it we get a voice over form Wesley: "There are forces that can make Angel revert to Angelus." Narrator: "And now - an all new Angel." The camera pans form the curtains in the open window, billowing in the wind of the thunderstorm outside, over some books dropped on the floor, over their discarded clothes and up to the bed. Angel and Darla are lying on the bed asleep, Angel on his back, Darla on her side with her back to him. A loud crack of thunder rings out and Angel suddenly sits up with a gasp. Angel, barefoot, wearing his pants, his shirt only half on, staggers out into the rain through the open balcony doors and drops to all fours. Looks up as lightning crashes overhead. Darla sits up in bed. Angel, still on all fours is shrugging on his shirt. Angel: "Oh god." Darla: "Don't fight it my love." Angel's head snaps up as Darla, wrapped in a sheet appears in the open door behind him wearing a slight smile. Darla: "Just let it happen. It'll only hurt for a minute." Intro Angel: "Oh god. Oh god." Darla: "Yes. Yes, I know. It was the same for me. The soul is gone but it leaves a bitterness. It'll pass." Angel looks up over his shoulder at Darla. Climbs to his feet and staggers a step back from Darla, staring at her. Darla: "What you need is a fresh kill. Hot human blood will wash away the foul memory of it. I promise." Darla reaches up to touch the side of Angel's face, but Angel's hand shoots up and catches her wrist, arresting the motion, while he stares at her. Darla: "What? - What is it?" Angel: "You saved me." Darla: "Yes. - But I *was* going to kill you tonight. Take you out of this world the same way I brought you into it. But I didn't have to. You gave yourself over so completely, Angelus. I felt you surrender." Angel shaking his head slightly: "I gave you everything I had left." Darla with a smile: "Yes." Angel: "I am - so sorry." Darla: "You don't have to be." Angel: "But I am. (Takes her hand and lifts to lay against the side of his face) I am sorry." Darla shaking her head slightly: "What?" Angel: "I am sorry, Darla." Darla shaking her head harder: "No..." Angel: "You saved me. Sorry I couldn't do the same for you." Darla: "Let go of me! (Pulls her hand free and backs away) You still have a soul." Darla runs back into the room and sees the rumpled bed. Turns back to Angel, who slowly followed her in. Darla: "But we..." Angel: "Yeah." Angel sits down on the foot of the bed and begins to put on his shoes. Darla: "And you..." Angel: "I know." Darla: "Then I..." Angel: "Three times." Darla: "You're not evil. I-I don't understand. - Was I... Was it... not good? (Lets out a short laugh) Well, I don't accept that. You can not tell me that wasn't perfect. Not only have I been around for four hundred years, but I used to do this professionally. And *that* was perfect. (Grabs his arm and tries to drag him back to bed) We'll go again." Angel pulls free and gets up, backing away. Angel: "No. No. We can't. You know we can't. - We're finished." Darla: "Finished? Why? What, because you suddenly decide? You know an hour ago you wanted this. You weren't tricked into anything. I didn't seduce you. You *wanted* it!" Angel: "Yeah. And it *was* perfect, Darla. - It was perfect despair." Darla just stares at him. Angel, no longer looking at her: "And you were the reason. You've always been the reason. You were the thing that made me what I am, and - I thought - if I could save you, I'd somehow - save myself, but - but I was wrong. And when I failed..." Darla: "Stop it!" Angel: "When I *failed*, you saved me. And I have to thank you for that. There is nothing I can do for you now, Darla. I can't even hate you." Darla: "You knew this would happen, didn't you? You made me trust you! - You made me believe!" As Darla says the words they echo in Angel's head in Kate's voice as she talks on the phone: "You made me trust you. You made me believe." Angel turning to go: "We're done. Let yourself out." Darla hurries after him, picking up a piece of wood like a stake. Darla: "Where are you going?" Angel turns and catches her wrist on the down swing. Angel: "You did me a favor tonight. Now I'm gonna do one for you. Get dressed and get out. Because the next time I see you I will have to kill you." Angel turns and walks out as Darla stares after him. Angel bangs on the door to Kate's apartment. Angel: "Kate. Kate! Kate, open the door! Kate!" Kate is lying on the floor, unconscious. A steady beeping is coming from the phone lying next to the empty whisky bottle and scattered pills and pill containers. Angel kicks in the door and rushes to her side. Angel: "Kate." Angel touches his fingers to the side of her neck, moves his hand in front of her nose and mouth, reaches to pick her up. Angel is turning on the shower. He is standing in the shower, holding Kate (both fully dressed) under the spray of water. After a few moments Kate begins to cough. Angel: "All right. Cough. All right. That's it. Come on." Holds her against him as she coughs, resting his face against the top of her head for a moment. Kate, dressed in dry clothes, but hair still wet, looks at herself in the bathroom mirror, then turns to face Angel, standing behind her in the open door. Kate: "Thanks. - Now get out." Walks past him. Angel just stands there for a moment. Lindsey enters his apartment. Turns on the light and sees Darla standing next to the window, looking out over the city. Lindsey: "Darla... I've been calling here all night. Why haven't you answered?" He drops his stuff and walks over to the window drawing the curtains closed. Lindsey: "Get away from the window. It's not safe." Stands close behind her. Lindsey: "They called an emergency meeting tonight - after what happened. - The official order on you is to stake on sight." Darla walks past him. Sits down on a chair and looks at something in her hands. Lindsey: "You should have told me what you had planned. I would have talked you out of it - helped you. I don't know." Lindsey closes the rest of the curtains, walks over to Darla. Lindsey: "Things are getting complicated for us now." Darla: "Yes. Yes, I believe they are." Lindsey: "We should probably clear your stuff out of here. Move in my bedroom. I just think it'd be best for us..." Darla is still looking at her hands, twisting the big ring Angel killed the Senior Partner for between her fingers. Lindsey: "Darla, what's wrong? (Sees the ring) What is this? (Takes it from her) Where did you get this?" Darla shrugs: "What's the difference? Doesn't work anyway." Lindsey: "No, of course it doesn't work, because after Angel stole it there was a disenchanting ceremony. It took half the meeting. How did you get this?" Darla after a beat: "It was my payment." Lindsey swallows: "Your payment? What are you talking about?" Darla: "What do you *think* I'm talking about, Lindsey?" Lindsey: "I don't know!" She just looks at him and after a beat he turns away. Stares down at the ring then back at her with a frown. Lindsey: "What happened?" Darla: "Nothing. - Nothing happened. - My god, nothing at all." Lindsey: "Tell me. I have to know." Darla: "You want details, Lindsey? Is that what you want?" Lindsey: "Yes. I want details. - I need to know everything. All of it. - What did he do to you?" The Caritas bar, deserted, chairs up on the tables. Someone is ringing the buzzer, repeatedly. The host, wearing a golden house robe, walks over to the bar. Host: "Alright, alright. - Alright, already!" Pushes a button which apparently opens the door to the person still ringing the buzzer. Host: "I'm not deaf, you know? Jeez, keep your pants on!" Angel walks in. Host: "Well, I see we're a little late with *that* advice." Angel sits at a table as the host is fixing some drinks at the bar. Angel: "I probably should have killed her." Host: "Eh, kill her, give her cab fare, whatever. The point is, you've turned a corner. (Comes walking over tot he table, carrying two drinks) Well, yay you. Zuzu's petals. It's about time. And between you and me, if it had taken you much longer to hit your bottom, I was gonna kick it." Host sets the drinks on the table and sits down across from Angel. Angel: "I'm still not sure I understand what happened." Host: "What's to understand? You think you're the first guy who ever rolled over, saw what was lying next to him and went 'Guyeah!' And you're not. Believe me. - It's called a moment of clarity, my lamb. And you've just had one. Sort of appalling, ain't it? To see just exactly where you've gotten yourself?" Angel: "I don't know how to get back." Host: "Well, that's just the thing. You don't. You go on to the new place. Whatever that is." Angel after a beat: "I don't know if I can. - I-I've done - things. - Questionable things." Host: "Yes, you have. But-but you didn't kill those lawyers, Angel. That was slated to happen with or without you. The Powers were just trying to work it so it'd be without you, that's all. You weren't much help in that department were you, Sparky?" Angel: "I wasn't much help? If they wanted me to stay away, why didn't they just tell me?" Host: "Would you have listened? - Besides, what makes you think they didn't? Over and over and, as for example, over?" Angel: "Well, they could've been a little bit more specific!" Host clears his throat: "Isn't this just the sort of 'tude that got you where you are now? I think I'm speaking for everyone when I say if all you're gonna do is switch back to brood mode, we'd rather have you evil. Then at least - leather pants." Angel shakes his head: "What now?" Host: "What do you mean?" Angel: "Well, how do I fix this. I mean, what do the Powers want me to do?" Host: "Does it *look* like I'm hearing voices? Because I'm not. I'm not your link with the Powers, Angel. I never was. You got rid of that when you fired your crew. - Yeah, that's gonna be the hardest part of all of this, you know." Angel: "Yeah." Host: "And there is a chance, a *good* chance you won't be able to put this back together. It just... well, it depends, really." Angel: "Yeah, whether they'll even talk to me." Host: "No, actually it depends on whether they live through the night. And I got to tell you, at the moment, the odds? Not good." A taxi pulls up in front of the Sharp's house and Cordy gets out. Cordy sees that the house is completely dark and stops on the sidewalk. Looks at the taxi pulling away, back at the house. The door to the house is partly ajar and after some knocking Cordy peeks into the house. Cordy: "Hello? Mrs. Sharp? (Inches her way in) Anybody home? Cordelia Chase here. - Uhm, I hope you haven't gone to bed already. - Took me a little longer to get here than I expected. - Hope that doesn't mean you changed your mind about paying your bill, which I - I just happened to bring along with me. - Hello?" Takes a few steps deeper into the house and looks in through the doorway into the kitchen to see the Sharp's bodies lying on the floor there. Cordy ups a hand to her head as she gets a blurry vision of her trying to leave the house but encountering a Skilosh demon instead. Cordy, takes a deep breath, gets up and hurries to the door only to recoil from the sight of a Skilosh demon standing right there, blocking her way. Cordy: "That was helpful!" The Skilosh growls at it jumps at her. Break Cordy, sitting back against the wall in the Sharp's house, slowly comes to. Touching the back of her head she gets on all fours. Skilosh: "Human." Cordy lets out a startled yell and looks up. Skilosh: "Destroyer of our Spawn." Cordy: "Destroyer of your... Have we met?" Skilosh: "The others. You will make them come to us." Cordy: "Huh? What others?" Skilosh: "Three are responsible. Three must pay." Cordy: "Look, I think you must have me confused with someone else. I haven't destroyed anyone's spawn. Promise." Two more Skilosh come in and speak to the first one in Skilosh. As the first Skilosh turns around, Cordy gets to see the back of its head for the first time. Cordy: " Hey! You've got a third eye in the back of your head just like that little girl did -before - we - destroyed your spawn." Skilosh to Cordy: "We've located the wheel-ed one. Where is the other?" Cordy: "Wheel-ed one?" Wesley rolls around his apartment in his wheelchair. Takes the stack of books off his lap and sets it on a side table, not noticing the demon outside his window watching him with the third eye on the back of its head. Wesley picks up some dishes and puts them on his lap. Stops as he hears some banging followed by an indistinct but rather upset voice talking. Continues his way towards the kitchen. Again there is banging and the voice gets a bit louder, though no more understandable. Wesley rolls his chair back against the wall, ignoring the dishes spilling form his lap in the process. Looks around, sees the demon outside his window just ducking away. Wesley rolls over to a walk-in closet and after some trouble gets the door open and wheels inside. Can't quite reach the shelf above his hanging clothes. Tries to stand up, but sinks back with a groan. Grabs the broom and uses its handle to move the shotgun resting on the top shelf. It falls off the shelf, hitting him in the process but he manages to hold onto it. He cracks it open to find that it is not loaded. Looks at the box of shells up on the shelf. He manages to knock them down using the broom, but the box lands on the floor spilling shells everywhere. Wesley pushes two shells into the double barrel and closes the gun. Rolls back out of the closet. Stops with his back to the door to the hall and aims the gun first at the window, then at the doorways leading to the other rooms in turn, then back at the window. The door behind him crashes open and Wesley spins around, gun aimed one handed, to find Angel standing in the hallway. Wesley: "Angel!" Angel is looking past Wesley, shifting on his feet, but doesn't come in. Angel: "Invite me in! I've never been here before, Wesley, you have to invite me in!" Wesley lowering his gun: "Well, perhaps if you'd shown a bit of interest..." Angel still looking past Wesley: "Wesley..." Wesley turns to look over his shoulder just as one of the Skilosh crashes in through his window. Wesley: "Yes. No. Absolutely. I invite you in. *In* I invite you!" Angel rushes past Wesley, spinning his chair around in the process and engages the two Skilosh demons. Angel: "Do you know what these things are?" Wesley: "I believe the third eye indicates adult Skilosh, though this is the first time I've had occasion to..." Having temporarily knocked both demons across the room, Angel leans down on Wesley's chair. Angel: "How do I kill them?" Wesley: "Well, uhm, there are a number of ways..." One of the Skilosh tackles Angel away from Wesley and knocks him into the wall. Angel: "Wesley!" Wesley: "Yeah, right, yes, uh, ah, (the other Skilosh grabs Wesley by the neck) hack it to pieces!" Angel grabs an ax mounted on one of Wesley's walls, kicks his Skilosh away and knocks the other away from Wesley with the ax. Then follows it where it landed behind the sofa and hacks it to pieces, splattering the wall with thick yellow gore. The other Skilosh launches itself at Wesley, and he brings up his shotgun and fires. Yellow gore spatters Wesley's face as the demon is thrown back by the blast. Wesley looks at it lying on the floor, steaming slightly, with plaster from the ceiling raining down on it. Wesley: "I think I got it." Angel is getting up, having finished his demon. Wesley takes off his glasses and squints up at the ceiling. Wesley: "I can only pray Mrs. Starns isn't at home." Wesley and Angel look at each other. A smile starts to spread over Wesley's face but disappears into a frown as Wesley looks away. Wesley putting his glasses back on: "What are you doing here." Angel straightens up, the slight smile on his face vanishing with a sigh. Lindsey and Darla are sitting at opposite ends of his couch, not looking at each other. Lindsey gets up and takes off his jacket. After a moment Darla glances in the direction he left. Lindsey comes back, throws his jacket down and drops a set of keys on the table. Stares at Darla, who's looking down, for a moment then goes to open a closet. In it there are some of Darla's clothes on hangers, next to his own. He digs down into the back of the closet and pulls out some cowboy boots. Rips off his tie, picks up the boots and slams the closet door shut. Wesley is sitting in the passenger seat of Angel's convertible, holding a cell phone to his ear. Wesley: "She's not picking up." Angel: "She wasn't at home before either. (Wesley turns to him with a frown) I-I stopped by there - before I went to your place." Wesley: "Oh. Did you. Just keep going straight." Angel: "So, ah, I guess you're probably wondering why I'm, you know, (slight laugh) back?" Wesley: "It hadn't really occurred to me. You're gonna want to take a right turn shortly." Angel: "I know how to get to your offices, Wesley." Wesley: "Oh yeah, of course. You did pop by. - Stole a book." Angel doesn't say anything. The car hits a bump in the road and Wesley winces. Angel: "I'll try to avoid the bumps." Wesley: "I appreciate that." Angel: "Actually, it's kind of funny. I-I recently got a - a gut wound myself. (Wesley stares at him with a frown) Not - not a gunshot wound like you got there. But, uh, it's kind of a - antique - sword (Wesley just keeps staring at him) is what it was. (Wesley turns back to watch the road) Went deep. - Yes, it did. - Hey, guess who stabbed me?" Wesley: "Darla?" Angel: "Yeah. - Actually kind of a funny story. The whole reason I had - this epiphany... (Looks over at Wesley staring straight ahead) Alright, so why don't you just tell me about these Skilosh demons." Wesley: "Very well. We at Angel Investigations were recently contracted by a family to investigate the sudden appearance of a mysterious third eye on the back of their young daughter's head." Angel: "Oh, really? You kept the name." Wesley after a beat: "Pardon?" Angel with a slight smile: "You kept the name: Angel Investigations." Wesley: "We're gonna change it." Angel's smile melts away: "Go on." Wesley: "In any event, I diagnosed the girl's condition as infection by a Skilosh." Angel: "With your books." Wesley: "Yes." Angel: "Yeah, you were always so good with your books. Made it looks so easy. When it isn't." Wesley: "Skilosh, a notoriously violent, asexual, self-replicating species of demon, has the distasteful habit of injecting its demon spawn into the cranium of a human host. One of the key diagnostic symptoms being the tell-tale third eye on the back of the host's head. If this condition is not arrested in time a newborn Skilosh will erupt, fully grown, from the skull of its human host." Angel: "But you guys, you saved the little girl." Wesley: "Yes, we did." Angel: "You did a good thing." Wesley after a beat: "Thank you." Angel: "Welcome." The Skilosh at the Sharp's house is talking to some others and Cordy makes an attempt to back away while its back is turned, only to have it spin around and growl at her. Cordy: "I'm guessing 'hey! Look behind you!' is really not gonna work, is it?" Skilosh: "Two more have been destroyed." Cordy: "What? Oh, no! Wesley, Gunn, you - you killed them? - You horrible, ugly, three-eyed..." Skilosh: "Three must pay." Cordy: "Oh! Two of *you* have been destroyed. (Relieved breath) Okay... (Frowns) Oh. That's bad... (The Skilosh stare at her) I'm sorry?" Skilosh: "More must rise." Two Skilosh grab a hold of Cordy. Cordy: "Oh. Oh, no. Hey! Hey, hey. Wait a second. Guys!" Skilosh: "More must rise!" Cordy: "No, no. No more must rise. Honest. Listen, I've been impregnated by demon spawn before. Let's just say, didn't really work out." An ugly, three pronged tongue starts to protrude out of the demon's mouth as he leans closer to Cordelia. Cordy: "Oh, god. Please don't do this. Please, no. Ah!" The other two demons turn Cordy around and hold her head down. Cordy: "No! Let go! Please. Ah! No. Let go!" The pronged tongue connects with the back of Cordy's head and she screams. The door of Angel Investigations with the hours Mon - Thur 10 - 6, Fri 10 -9, Sat 9-9, Sun closed, stenciled on it. Wesley, sitting in his wheelchair looks at the window as a car drives by. Angel comes out of the back of the offices. Angel: "She's not here." Wesley: "That doesn't bode well." Wesley looks back out of the window as car lights pass it again. Wesley: "That's the third time that truck's passed by." Angel: "Well, maybe she's just out on a date or with her friends or something." Wesley: "That's unlikely." Angel: "It's Friday night, Wesley." Wesley: "So?" Angel: "So, we are talking about the same Cordelia Chase, right?" Wesley turns to face Angel: "That's correct." Angel: "Knowing her..." Wesley: "But you don't. You don't know her at all. For months now you haven't cared to. Otherwise you might have realized that our Cordelia has become a very solitary girl. She's not the vain, carefree creature she once was... Well, certainly not carefree. - It's the visions, you see. The visions that were meant to guide you. You could turn away from them. She doesn't have that luxury. She knows and experiences the pain in this city, and because of who she is, she feels compelled to do something about it. - It's left her little time for anything else. - You'd have known that - if you hadn't had you head firmly up your... place that isn't on top of your neck." Angel quietly after a beat: "We have to find her." Wesley: "Yes, we agree on that. She could be in grave danger." Angel: "And even if she's not..." Wesley looks at Angel, but Angel's attention is on something else. Angel: "Something's coming." Wesley: "Turn off the lights. The Skilosh may have followed us here." Angel turns off the lights and picks up the ax he pulled off Wesley's wall earlier. Both of them back against the walls. We hear footsteps coming closer. A shadow falls across the open door to the street and two legs walk into frame. Wesley turns on the light and Gunn spins around to face him. Wesley: "Gunn! - What are you doing here?" Gunn: "I was passing by. Saw the lights was on. Besides, I work here." Wesley: "But - I thought you'd gone." Gunn: "Gone? Well, yeah, gone, but that don't mean I wasn't coming back! (Looks at Angel) What, you didn't think I was gonna abandon you like this guy, did you?" Angel looks down. Wesley, smiling: "No. Certainly not." Gunn and Wesley exchange an elaborate handshake ritual. Gunn: "Come on, English! You know you my man!" Angel: "So, ah, I see you guys have bonded." Gunn: "Happens when you fight shoulder to shoulder." Wesley: "Or rather hip to shoulder these days." Gunn: "This man took a bullet for me!" Wesley: "Ah, it was nothing!" They do the handshake ritual again. Gunn: "So, what's he doing here?" Angel: "Went and saw the host of Caritas. He said my friends were in danger." Gunn to Wesley: "So, what's he doing here?" Wesley: "He had an epiphany." Gunn: "Aaah. Well, I saw you turn off the lights and hiding. What's up with that?" Wesley: "There was a demon attack, at my home." Angel: "I saved him." Wesley: "We thought perhaps we'd been followed." Gunn: "Demon attack?" Wesley: "Skilosh, I'm afraid." Gunn: "As in the back-of-the-head type demon? I thought we got rid of that." Wesley: "We did. Which is why I believe we are being targeted for retribution by the tribe." Gunn: "Where's Cordy?" Wesley: "We don't know. Not here." Gunn: "You checked her pad?" Angel: "I stopped by there earlier." Gunn: "You enjoying your visit to nineteen seventy three? (Picks up a memo pad) I meant her message pad." Angel: "Oh, right. That's a good idea. (Angel picks up a pencil) Oh, here, use this. You can make a rubbing of the impressions she left. See what the last thing was that she wrote." Gunn: "Or we could just read the carbon." Angel drops the pencil back on the desk: "Or you can do that." Gunn: "Directions." Wesley: "Let me see." Gunn pushes Angel out of the way and brushes past him to hand the pad to Wesley. Wesley: "Yes, I know that address. It's the Sharps. (To Angel) The family, whose daughter we treated." Gunn: "Looks like she wrote that down tonight. (To Wesley) You think she went there?" Wesley: "Why else would she take the original?" Gunn: "What do you think they'd do?" Wesley: "While I hate to imagine, we better be prepared. (Rips the carbon off the pad) The de-oculation powder is in my desk. Get it." Gunn: "Alright." Angel: "Guys - guys, d-does it make sense that sh-she would go there in the middle of the night without calling either one of you?" Gunn and Wesley: "They owe us money." Angel: "Lets go." Cordy is waking up on the floor of the Sharps house. Looks around and winces, but pushes herself up on all fours. Looks straight at us and stops as we see the Skilosh standing at a window behind her. Cordy: "Oh god. You're still here. You're not leaving, are you? And no one's coming for me. No one's expecting me any place. No-no one's gonna miss me! - And how come I can see you? (Reaches her hands to the back of her head) Oh. Oh, no! Oh..." Gets up to look at herself in a mirror than turns around and pulls her hair away from the blinking eye in the back of her head. Cordy: "Oh, no." Angel is driving down the road. Checking his side mirror form time to time. Gunn is sitting in the passenger seat, Wesley in the back. Wesley: "What is it?" Angel: "I don't know. Nothing I guess." Gunn: "So, you had an *epiphany*, did you?" Angel: "Yeah." Gunn: "So, what you just wake up and bang?" Angel: "Well, it was sort of the other way around." Gives Gunn a smile. Gunn: "Well, that's good, you know. That's real good that you can have one of those. Ain't that good, Wes? 'cause you know, epiphanies, they handy. - When do you think you might be having another one?" Wesley: "Gunn..." Gunn: "No. No. I'm interested. You know, 'cause they could strike at any time. Could be the next time you see one of them lawyers, you get all epiphanied off right back at 'em." Angel: "No." Gunn: "No? You don't think so? - Well I hope you don't go having another one before we get to Cordelia, because if something happens to her... I mean, something bad, I just might have *me* and epiphany." A Skilosh demon drops out of a tree into the car and grabs Wesley. Gunn jumps up in his seat and kicks it off Wesley. The demon rolls off the back of the car and Angel swerves the car and stops in the middle of the road. Gunn to Wesley: "You okay?" Wesley: "Yes." Angel stares into the side mirror as the Skilosh slowly picks itself back up and is joined by two more of its kind. Wesley: "Angel? (Looks back and sees the demons) We should probably go." Angel keeps staring in the mirror. Gunn: "Yo, Angel!" Angel gets out of the car: "You guys go ahead." Wesley: "What?" Angel: "Just go! I'll handle this. If we don't take them out they'll flank us once we get to the house." Pulls Wesley's ax out from the back seat. Angel: "And then I'll meet you there. (Gunn and Wes exchange a look) I'll *be* there. Just get to Cordelia. That's all that matters. Wesley taps Gunn's shoulder and he jumps into the drivers seat. The car peels out of there as Angel goes to meet the three Skilosh, who after a beat run off in different directions. Angel hears a car engine roaring behind him and turns just in time to see an old red pickup run over him full speed. The pickup stops as Angel tries to pick himself back up. Angel: "Jeez..." And artificial hand slams the pickup into reverse and Lindsey looks back over his shoulder as he guns the truck, running over Angel again, just as he makes it to his feet. Break [SCENE_BREAK] Gunn peers into the window of the Sharp's house and sees Cordy sitting on a chair and a Skilosh standing in front of her. Wesley is trying to wheel up beside Gunn, but one of his wheels keeps spinning without traction. Taps Gunn on the arm and points down, spinning the wheel. Gunn reaches over and pulls the wheelchair up beside him. Wesley: "Thank you. What do you see?" Gunn: "She's in there." Wesley: "Is she..." Gunn: "Yeah, she's alive." Wesley: "Are you sure?" Gunn: "Yeah. Her eyes are open. All three of them." Wesley: "Oh dear." Gunn: "Wait a minute, three more!" Wesley: "Eyes?" Gunn: "Demons." Wesley: "Oh. The tribe's gathering. The gestation maybe nearly complete. We haven't much time. Where is he?" Lindsey's pickup slams into Angel, knocking him down. Lindsey puts it back into drive as Angel staggers to his feet again, and drives the truck in a tight circle around Angel. Angel hurriedly limps towards the side of the street, begins to run, but Lindsey runs into him again, sending him flying onto the sidewalk. Gunn: "Man, that's gotta hurt." Wesley: "Well, it's gonna hurt a lot more when the thing that's gestating inside of her hatches, I can assure you." Gunn: "Try not to say the word 'gestating' anymore. And how long are we gonna wait for Angel?" Wesley: "We're not." Gunn: "Good." Wesley: "Well, why should we?" Gunn: "We shouldn't." Wesley: "We've been doing fine without him, haven't we?" Gunn: "I'd say so." Wesley: "Right. So he suddenly reappears, orders us to sit and wait and we just do it?" Gunn: "Hell, no!" Wesley: "No. For all we know he had another change of heart." Gunn: "That's true." Wesley pushes himself up out of his wheelchair. Wesley: "We're not going to sit idly by, we're going in there (groans) and we're - saving our friend." Gunn: "I say lets do this." Wesley: "One more thing." Gunn: "What's that?" Wesley: "I'm toppling over." Gunn catches a hold of his jacket and pulls Wesley back up right. The pickup comes to a squealing stop and Lindsey gets out, wearing jeans, a thick, plaid flannel shirt and his cowboy boots, watching Angel crawling along the side of the road. Lindsey reaches inside the cab and takes out a sledgehammer. Walks over to Angel. Lindsey: "You're gonna tell me everything." Hits Angel with the sledge to the chin, rolling him over onto his back Lindsey: "Everything you do with her." Hits Angel again. Lindsey: "All of it." Kicks Angel. Lindsey: "You're gonna tell me." Angel: "Why?" Lindsey: "Because I wanna hear it from you." Hauls back with the sledge and slams it down into Angel's gut. Angel curls up around his gut with a groan then rolls onto all four in an effort to get back up. Lindsey slams the sledge down on his back, dropping him back to the ground. Lindsey: "Tell me!" Hits him again. Lindsey: "Tell me! - Tell me!" Angel: "No." Lindsey swings the sledge one handed like a polo mallet and hits Angel under the chin. Angel spins onto his back and ceases to move. Lindsey walks back to his truck, reaches into its bed and picks up a stake. Turns to find Angel standing right behind him. Angel: "I'm sorry Lindsey." Angel hits Lindsey with a hard right, and the sledge and stake go flying. Lindsey pushes himself back up using the side of the truck for support. Angel: "I really am." Hits Lindsey in the kidneys, then turns him around. Angel: "I'm sorry she'll never love you." Knees him in the stomach, then pulls him back up against the side of the truck. Angel: "I'm sorry you're gonna have to live with that." Hits him with a left hook. Picks him back up. Angel: "I'm sorry I didn't try harder to help you when you came to me." Smacks him against the side of the truck. Angel: "I'm sorry you made the wrong choice." Hits him with a right hook, dropping Lindsey to the ground. Lindsey sees the stake lying on the ground and reaches for it. Angel picks up the sledge and brings it down in an overhead arc, smashing Lindsey's plastic hand to pieces. Lindsey freezes, staring at his shattered hand. Glances up at Angel. Angel dropping the sledge: "Could have been the other one. Just be glad I had an epiphany." Lindsey stares up at him with a frown. Angel: "Mind if I borrow your truck?" Kicks Lindsey across the chin, knocking him out. Cordy is sitting in the sharps house rubbing her temples as the Skilosh speak to each other in demon speak. Suddenly straightens up. Cordy: "Gunn!" Wesley's head pops through the door behind her. Cordy: "Wesley!" Wesley with a smile: "We came to rescue you." Cordy: "I knew you would!" A Skilosh pushes each of them into the room and we can see that their hands are tied behind their backs. Gunn: "But then they caught us coming in the back door." The Skilosh lets go of Wesley and he almost topples over. The demon catches a hold of him and pulls him back up right. Wesley: "Thank you." Lindsey's old pick up is speeding down the road. Skilosh: "More must rise." It's pronged tongue starts to protrude from its mouth. Gunn to Cordy: "This gonna hurt?" Cordy: "A lot." Lindsey's pickup races down the street, onto the front lawn, and right at the Sharp's house. The Skilosh turns and steps towards the window as the truck lights shine into it. A shot of Angel behind the wheel, then the truck smashes through the wall of the living room, and into the lead Skilosh, sending it flying out the window across the room. The other Skilosh let go of their prisoners and converge on the truck. Angel slams the door open into the first one then goes after them with Lindsey's sledgehammer. Gunn pulls a folding knife out of his boot and uses it to cut the ropes around Wesley's wrists. Wesley returns the favor while Angel keeps whaling away at the Skilosh. Wesley helps Cordy to sit up, and sprinkles some powder onto the back of her head while saying something in Latin. The powder rains down on the blinking eye, which shivers, closes and disappears. Cordy touches the back of her head just as Angel, having dispatched the last of the demons, hurries over and kneels down in front of her. He looks pretty beaten up, and has some blood dripping from his nose, but he's smiling at her. Cordy: "Angel... Hi." Angel: "Hi. - You okay?" Cordy: "No." Angel's smile melts away into worry: "You're not?" Cordy: "No. - You really hurt my feelings." Gunn and Wesley help Cordy up, and Angel watches as the three of them walk away. We get a shot of the license plate on Lindsey's truck (Oklahoma T-42633) in bright daylight. The camera pans up to look in the drivers window and out through the cracked windshield to show us Lindsey, still in his cowboy gear, and looking slightly beat up, walking up to the front of it. He pulls a piece of paper out from under the windshield wiper. All it says is 'Thanks.' Lindsey enters his apartment. Lindsey: "Darla?" Sees that she has cleaned out all her stuff. Night. Kate and Angel are sitting side by side outside in the garden court of the Hyperion. Kate: "I feel like such an idiot." Angel: "A lot of that going around." Kate: "I just couldn't... - My whole life has been about being a cop. If I'm not part of the force it's like nothing I do means anything." Angel, still looking pretty beat up: "It doesn't." Kate: "Doesn't what?" Angel: "Mean anything. In the greater scheme or the big picture, nothing we do matters. There's no grand plan, no big win." Kate: "You seem kind of chipper about that." Angel: "Well, I guess I kinda - worked it out. If there is no great glorious end to all this, if - nothing we do matters, - then all that matters is what we do. 'cause that's all there is. What we do, now, today. - I fought for so long. For redemption, for a reward - finally just to beat the other guy, but... I never got it." Kate: "And now you do?" Angel: "Not all of it. All I wanna do is help. I wanna help because - I don't think people should suffer, as they do. Because, if there is no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness - is the greatest thing in the world." Kate: "Yikes. It sounds like you had an epiphany." Angel: "I keep saying that. But nobody's listening." Kate: "Well, I'm pretty much convinced, since I'm alive to be convinced." Angel: "You know you don't have to be a cop to be..." Kate: "I'm okay. - Anyway, I'm *not* headed towards another pillathon. - I'm very grateful. - I never thought you'd come for me, but... I got cut a huge break and I believe... - I don't know what I believe, but I - have - faith. - I think maybe we're not alone in this." Angel: "Why?" Kate: "Because I never invited you in." Wesley is sitting behind the desk at the new Angel Investigations. The phone rings and Cordy comes over to answer it while Wesley hands her the memo pad. Cordy: "Angel Investigations. We help the helpless. How can we..." She looks up and sees Angel, still looking beat up, slowly edging his way in through the front door. Cordy: "...help you? - Check is in the mail." Hangs up, as Gunn comes up behind her and all three of them stare at Angel standing there. Angel: "I'm sorry." Wesley grabs a hold of a walking stick and pushes himself up out of his chair and comes around to stand in front of Angel. Wesley: "Before you say any more I think I should tell you, we've all discussed this, and none of us are ready just yet..." Angel: "It's okay, Wesley. I don't want you to come back and work for me." Wesley: "Oh. I see." Angel: "I wanna work for you." Gunn: "You wanna work for us?" Angel: "Yeah. I do." Wesley: "Why?" Angel: "Because I think I can help." Cordy: "How do we know we can trust you?" Angel: "I guess I'll just have to earn that." Cordy: "No." Gunn and Wesley turn to look at her. Cordy: "No. No. No! Ahh." Cordy reaches up to her head as she is hit with a vision. Cordy: "The usual big scary rising up in a housing project in Topanga, and - why is it that I am not on the floor this time?" Camera pulls back to reveal that Angel is standing behind her. Angel: "I got you." Cordy looks back at him, then back at Gunn and Wesley. Cordy: "Maybe *he* should drive?" Wesley after a beat, with a slight smile: "Let's go." He and Gunn turn to head out the door. FADE TO BLACK

Plan: A: an epiphany; Q: What has Angel questioning his actions? A: the past few months; Q: What is Angel questioning his actions over? A: Cordy; Q: Along with Gunn and Wes, who is the three eyed demon clan after? Summary: Angel has an epiphany which has him questioning his actions over the past few months. Meanwhile, the three eyed demon clan is after Gunn, Wes and Cordy. It's up to Angel to save them... If they can all start trusting him again.

3.08 - Let the Games Begin OPEN IN STARS HOLLOW [Lorelai and Rory are walking slowly down the sidewalk] LORELAI: Mmkay, still walking, all's good. Huh. Mmkay. RORY: How are you? LORELAI: I should probably keep moving. RORY: God, my feet have never been in this much pain before. LORELAI: Oh yeah, what about that time? RORY: What time? LORELAI: The time when I did the thing and your feet were . . .gotta stop. RORY: Gotta sit. [they sit down on a bale of hay] RORY: Ugh. What were you saying? LORELAI: About what? RORY: About my feet. LORELAI: What about your feet? RORY: I don't know. You were talking about the thing you did to my feet. LORELAI: What thing? RORY: The thing that you. . .you and. . .huh? LORELAI: What? RORY: I don't know. LORELAI: Just an observation – you and I do not function well on a funky sleeping pattern. RORY: I feel jet-lagged. LORELAI: You've been up twenty-four hours straight. RORY: Yes, why did I do that? LORELAI: Because I asked you to. RORY: And that worked? LORELAI: At the time. I don't expect it to again. RORY: A realist, I like that. LORELAI: How far is Luke's? RORY: It's right over there. LORELAI: It looks far. RORY: Very far. LORELAI: Maybe if we concentrate really hard, our combined psychic powers will move it closer. [they stare at the diner] RORY: I don't think it's working. LORELAI: It's my fault, I'm not focusing. RORY: Yes, that must be why we can't move a half a city block closer to us. LORELAI: All right then, let's go. On the count of three. [Neither of them move] [opening credits] CUT TO LUKE'S DINER [Lorelai and Rory walk in] LORELAI: Oh my God. Thank you. RORY: I never realized Luke's was a hundred miles away. LORELAI: We're lucky it wasn't snowing. It would've been The Donner Party all over again, but with slightly better hair. Why are you sitting over there? RORY: Where? LORELAI: At that table. RORY: Huh. How did I get here? LORELAI: You sat there. RORY: Well, this chair's very close to that chair, so you understand how I could've made the mistake. LORELAI: Move over here with me. RORY: Why don't you move over here with me? LORELAI: Because I'm not the one who sat in the wrong chair. RORY: I think it's a little presumptuous to assume that my chair is the wrong chair when my chair could just as easily be the right chair. LORELAI: No. RORY: Why? LORELAI: Because I'm the leader of the clan, the provider of the household, the alpha male, and the one whose feet just fell asleep so there's absolutely no chance of movement. RORY: Fine. LORELAI: Thank you. See, it's nice sitting at the grown-up table, isn't it? RORY: Uh huh. [Kirk enters the diner carrying his dance marathon trophy] KIRK: Oh, excuse me, did my trophy bump you? LORELAI: No, Kirk, it didn't. KIRK: Good, because the size of it is so large that sometimes I can't judge where the exact end of it is. LORELAI: We're fine, Kirk. KIRK: I'm glad, because these shiny golden edges are actually very sharp. They could take an eye out or cause a deep gash completely unintentionally. LORELAI: Uh huh. KIRK: It's almost more a weapon than a trophy. LORELAI: Really? Can I hold it, then? LUKE: Get out of the way, Kirk. You're blocking the door. KIRK: Luke, I'll be needing one of your larger tables this morning, since your smaller tables simply cannot accommodate the sheer size of my massive trophy. LUKE: Put it on the floor. KIRK: It needs its own chair. LUKE: It's gonna need some glue if you don't sit down pretty soon. KIRK: Everybody hates a winner. LORELAI: Hey, how ‘bout one person gets pancakes and one person gets eggs and then we can share? RORY: I can't, I have to go. LORELAI: What are you talking about? It's – [Rory shows Lorelai her watch] LORELAI: [gasps] It took us thirty minutes to get here? RORY: Lots of limping. LORELAI: Wow, shoot. Well, at least grab a donut before you go. Hey, unh, Luke, uh, we need a couple of donuts, and, uh, some of those extra legs Heather Mills is sending over to Croatia. LUKE: Coming right up. [Jess walks down from upstairs] JESS: Hi. RORY: Hey. JESS: Hi. LORELAI: Hi. JESS: Hi. LUKE: Hi. RORY: I have to get to school. JESS: Yeah, me too. RORY: Bye JESS: Bye. Bye. LORELAI: Bye. RORY: Bye. LORELAI: Bye. RORY: Bye. LUKE: Bye. [Rory leaves. Jess goes back upstairs] LUKE: What the hell was that? LORELAI: That was episode one of Rory and Jess: The Early Years. LUKE: What? LORELAI: Rory and Jess are together. LUKE: Are you serious? What about Dean? LORELAI: Dean and Rory broke up at the dance. LUKE: They did? I was at the dance, how come I didn't know about this? LORELAI: Because you're you. LUKE: But why, what happened? LORELAI: Jess happened. LUKE: Wow, wow. So. . . LORELAI: Yup. LUKE: Wow. Well, this is great. LORELAI: I'll tell Dean you said that. LUKE: You know what I mean, Rory and Jess, Jess and Rory. I think this is great. Don't you think this is great? LORELAI: I think Rory's seventeen and it's probably about time for a Jess. LUKE: Look, I know Jess is a little tough sometimes, but he likes Rory and Rory's a good kid, hopefully she'll rub off on him. LORELAI: You know what, I've spent a lot of time and energy fighting the whole Jess thing. Rory's made her choice, I want her to be happy. I'm just hoping for the best at this point. LUKE: Very romantic. LORELAI: Says the man who yelled "Finally!" at the end of Love Story. LUKE: I'll get you coffee. LORELAI: Thank you very much. CUT TO THE ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE [Lorelai, Rory, and Richard are sitting at the table. Emily is standing at the doorway to the kitchen] EMILY: Do it again, please! [walks to her seat at the table] I'm not quite sure what other way there is to say ‘no walnuts in the salad' except to say ‘no walnuts in the salad.' LORELAI: Mom, she just made a mistake. EMILY: She doesn't listen, she doesn't care, she has no work ethic. LORELAI: She has some work ethic. You made her remake the salad four times. EMILY: I like things done correctly. RICHARD: Preferably the first time. EMILY: Thank you, Richard. LORELAI: You know, Mom, in Europe, they eat the salad last and the main course first. EMILY: We're not in Europe. LORELAI: We could pretend. EMILY: Really, Lorelai, you can't wait ten minutes for another salad? The situation's that dire? LORELAI: Four salads ago, no, not dire. Right now it's ‘your money for nothing and your chicks for free.' EMILY: Rory? RORY: She didn't have lunch. EMILY: Fine. RICHARD: Where are you going? EMILY: Apparently, we're going to be European tonight. RICHARD: Oh, wonderful. I was getting so tired of being American day after day after day. LORELAI: God, I'm starved. RORY: Think about something else. LORELAI: Like what? RORY: Something disgusting that will take your appetite away. LORELAI: Ari Fleischer? RICHARD: Ari Fleischer is our nation's mouthpiece, young lady. LORELAI: Officially not hungry now. EMILY: Liliana will be right out with the sand dabs. I'm afraid we're going to have to let her go, Richard. RICHARD: Oh, if that's how you feel, Emily. LORELAI: You're firing someone over putting walnuts in a salad? EMILY: I'm going to fire someone over putting walnuts in the salad after she was told not to put walnuts in the salad. LORELAI: Mom, you know, if you're not a little nicer to your help, you might find yourself in a Frank Lloyd Wright situation. RICHARD: Frank Lloyd Wright? EMILY: What on earth does Frank Lloyd Wright have to do with my salad? RICHARD: And your walnuts. LORELAI: Mrs. Wright apparently had this major problem with her help. She was very rough on them and they totally hated her. So this guy who had worked for her forever, he had finally had enough. I believe the incident was over walnuts, wasn't it, honey? RORY: The exact cause has not been proven. LORELAI: Anyhow, Mrs. Wright invites this whole posse of people over for dinner and they're all sitting around eating, and Mr. Disgruntled Servant Guy goes outside and locks all the doors and windows and douses the whole house in gasoline and sets the place on fire. EMILY: My goodness. LORELAI: So the house is on fire, and people are freaking out, so they run to the doors but the doors are locked, so a few of them try to get out through the windows, but Mr. Angry-Puss is standing outside with an ax hacking them to death and so they all died. EMILY: Why on earth would you tell me that story? LORELAI: All I'm saying is sometimes eating a walnut is preferable to getting hacked to death or set on fire during dinner. EMILY: One of these days I'm going to make you eat in your room. RORY: I'm going to go get myself another soda. Would anyone else like something? LORELAI: I'd like a big bag of walnuts, and make sure you tell her they're for me. RICHARD: I believe I need a little more ice. Emily, are you fine? EMILY: Yes, Richard, I'm fine, thank you. [Lorelai sniffs the air] EMILY: Oh, stop that! CUT TO THE KITCHEN [Rory pulls a soda out of the fridge as Richard walks in] RICHARD: Did you find it? RORY: Yes, I did. RICHARD: Good, good. Ah, here we are, ice. And. . .chocolates. RORY: Bless you. RICHARD: So, tell me, how's it going at school? RORY: It's good. It's crazy. RICHARD: Senior year. RORY: Yup. RICHARD: Preparing for college can be a daunting task. I remember when I was preparing for Yale. RORY: Bad? RICHARD: I don't believe I slept the entire year. I didn't even cut my hair for two months. RORY: Grandpa! RICHARD: Oh, yes, it was quite a scandal. But in the end, it was all worth it. RORY: Yeah? RICHARD: My years at Yale were absolutely the most gratifying ones of my life. Just the sheer freedom of knowing that anything I wanted to learn, I could learn right there. Plus, the history of the place, the heritage. . .my father went to Yale. RORY: I know. RICHARD: I also made wonderful friends there. Friends I still have today. RORY: That must be nice. RICHARD: I'm going to be going back there next week. There's going to be a little reunion of the Whiffenpoofs. RORY: I'm sorry, the what? RICHARD: It's an a cappella singing group I belonged to at Yale. RORY: A singing group? RICHARD: A very famous singing group, actually. Like the Beatles, but with better table manners. RORY: I've never heard you sing. RICHARD: Well, I'm no Perry Como, but my shower hasn't kicked me out yet. Anyway, a group of us are going to get together at the old alma mater and have a little dinner, swap some war stories. RORY: Sounds fun. [the maid walks by with a tray] MAID: Excuse me. RORY: Uh, did you see what I just saw? RICHARD: Walnuts. RORY: Poor Grandma. RICHARD: Poor us. You know, you might wanna come with me next week. RORY: Come with you where? RICHARD: To Yale. RORY: What? RICHARD: Oh, I don't mean to the dinner, that would be boring for you, but you might enjoy seeing the school. RORY: Well – RICHARD: Your mother could come to. It would be a fun little adventure. RORY: Wow. RICHARD: We could drive down, have a little roadside snack, get there about noon. Have a little tour, and then the two of you girls could go off and have fun, and the old folks can have a somber little dinner. I think you'd love to see it. I certainly would love to show it to you. RORY: Well. . .sure, Grandpa. That would be nice. RICHARD: Wonderful. Oh, I'm thrilled. Uh, do you wanna tell your mother or shall I? RORY: Oh, you know what, I can tell her. RICHARD: All right, you tell her. [the maid rushes past them again] Looks like we're gonna need a few more of these. RORY: Yeah. CUT TO OUTSIDE THE ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE [Lorelai and Rory walk out of the house] LORELAI: Okay, I officially vote that we send my mother an anonymous note requesting that she never make us the sand dabs again. RORY: I'm not sure how anonymous it would be considering she said we were the first people she ever made them for. [they get into the car and Lorelai starts the engine] RORY: I have to tell you something. LORELAI: Okay. RORY: Grandpa talked to me tonight. [Lorelai turns off the engine] RORY: Why'd you turn the car off? LORELAI: I'm just getting the sense that I shouldn't be driving a large vehicle when you tell me this. RORY: It's no big deal. LORELAI: Uh huh. RORY: It's not. LORELAI: Then tell me. RORY: Okay. Um, well, Grandpa was mentioning that he and Grandma are going on a trip next week, a driving trip somewhere, and he invited me to go. And you. He invited you and me to go on a trip with him and Grandma. LORELAI: Where? RORY: What? LORELAI: Where's the driving trip to? RORY: Yale. [Lorelai gets out of the car and walks toward the porch. Rory follows her] RORY: Mom? Mom, wait. LORELAI: No, it's okay, I got it. RORY: He's going for some nostalgia thing. For a reunion of, I don't know, the Whiffenhoofs. LORELAI: Poofs. RORY: What? LORELAI: Whiffenpoofs. RORY: Not much better. LORELAI: I totally agree. RORY: Well, he got all sentimental and he really just wants to show me the campus. It's no big deal. LORELAI: It's a huge deal. RORY: Mom. LORELAI: There's a reason he wants to drag you out there, Rory. He's manipulating you. Trust me, I know, he's a master at it. RORY: Okay, fine, maybe he is, but he really wants me to go, I can tell. And you don't have to go. I mean, he invited you and I would really love it if you could come, but really, you can stay home. Just please don't make a big thing out of this. This doesn't have to be a fight. LORELAI: Rory. RORY: We go. We look. Hi Yale. Bye Yale. It's over. No harm, no foul. LORELAI: How many more two-word sentences can you come up with? RORY: You know, it doesn't have to be a total loss. LORELAI: Look, as she's leading me back to the car. RORY: I'm sure you and I can figure out a fun thing to do while they're off at dinner, some cool road trip thing. LORELAI: In New Haven? RORY: Well, yeah. LORELAI: Sweetie, have you ever been to New Haven? RORY: No. LORELAI: Take a look at the coffee pot tomorrow before I clean it, that's New Haven. RORY: We can make it fun. It would mean a lot to the grandparents, everybody wins. LORELAI: Rory, listen to me. RORY: I know, I am being manipulated. This is part of Grandpa's evil plan to take over my life, abolish my free will, pull me in into the Gilmore world, dress me in pearls, and ruin my life. Did I leave anything out? LORELAI: Mm, let me see. . . manipulate, evil plan, no free will, pearls – no, I think you about covered it. Oh, wait – did you call my father the Puppet Master? RORY: No, I did not. LORELAI: Always call him the Puppet Master. RORY: I will never make that mistake again. CUT TO LUKE'S DINER [Luke is cleaning off a table as Kirk walks in] KIRK: Luke, where's your lost and found? LUKE: Out back in the dumpster. KIRK: I need your help. I don't know what to do. I'm shaking like a spastic colon. LUKE: What's the matter, Kirk? KIRK: My trophy's gone. LUKE: What? KIRK: Someone took her. LUKE: Kirk. KIRK: The last time I remember seeing her, she was next to me at the movies. LUKE: Stop calling it she. KIRK: I retraced my steps all day and nothing. I suspect foul play. LUKE: Foul play? KIRK: Kidnapping, possibly. LUKE: Well, then, I think you should go to the police, and if they mention something about staying somewhere for observation, it's just routine. [Kirk starts to leave as Rory walks in] RORY: Hey Kirk. KIRK: Rory. [looks into her backpack] RORY: What are you doing? KIRK: Where were you this morning at about ten? RORY: At school. KIRK: Do you have any witnesses? RORY: Yes. KIRK: Can you get them to make a short statement? RORY: No. KIRK: Oh, well, okay. [leaves] RORY: Someone took his statue again. LUKE: Yeah, yeah. RORY: Every year. LUKE: Well, there's some things in life that never let you down. So. . . RORY: So. . . LUKE: It's nice to see you, Rory. RORY: It's nice to see you, too, Luke. LUKE: So, table for one? RORY: Um, I'll just sit at the counter. LUKE: Okay. What can I get you? RORY: Um, I guess I'll have a cheeseburger. [Jess walks down from upstairs] LUKE: Hey Jess, look who's here – Rory. JESS: Hi. RORY: Hi. LUKE: Okay, time to add another word. Jess, you want something to eat? JESS: I'm not hungry. RORY: Oh, yeah, I'm not hungry either. LUKE: What about the burger? RORY: Oh, well. . .could you wrap it up? I'm gonna eat it later. I actually prefer burgers after they've been sitting around for awhile. Let's them age. LUKE: Okay. JESS: You know, I've got that book upstairs. RORY: Oh, the book we talked about? JESS: Yup. RORY: Great. JESS: We could go upstairs and look at it. RORY: Look at the book, sure. Let's go upstairs and look at the book. JESS: Okay. RORY: Okay. CUT TO LUKE'S APARTMENT [Rory and Jess walk in] JESS: So, here we are. RORY: Yup, here we are. Wow, I haven't seen it since you guys redid it. JESS: Oh yeah. RORY: It's bigger. JESS: Ripping a wall down can have that effect on a room RORY: Yeah. That part, over there. JESS: That's mine. RORY: Yeah. JESS: Yeah. You want a soda? RORY: No, I'm fine. JESS: Okay. You sure you don't want a soda? RORY: Yeah, I'm sure. JESS: Please let me get you a soda. I gotta do something other than stand here like a moron. RORY: Take comfort in the fact that you are not doing it alone. JESS: Okay, let's just regroup here. RORY: Yeah, regroup. JESS: First of all, we should try to get within, say, a foot of each other. RORY: Okay. I think that's about a foot. JESS: Huh, that school of yours is really paying off. RORY: So, now what? JESS: Now we should. . . RORY: Well, I think we either need to get a little closer or need to warm up. JESS: Okay. Hi. RORY: Hi. [they start to kiss when Luke bursts into the room] LUKE: I got the burger. RORY: Thank you. LUKE: I also threw in some fries. RORY: Fries, great. I love fries. Okay, um, Jess, thank you for. . .um, your. . .um – I gotta go. [leaves] LUKE: What was going on up here? JESS: Nothing. LUKE: Nothing? I walk in here and the two of you are like shrapnel. JESS: Your timing is perfect, by the way. Next time I'll hang a sock on the door. LUKE: Hey, there will be no hanging of socks on the door in my house, do you hear me? JESS: Relax, I was kidding. LUKE: Oh, really? Hanging socks on doors – that's your idea of funny. JESS: Depending on the sock design, could be hilarious. LUKE: Okay, that's it, sit down. JESS: Why? LUKE: It's time to lay down a few ground rules, sit. All right, first off, when she is up here, that door stays open. JESS: Excuse me? LUKE: You are not allowed on either end of this apartment. You are, instead, to remain here in the middle portion of the room. You may sit on the couch or on the chair, as long as you two are sitting on separate seats, i.e. when you're on the couch, then she's on the chair. When she's on the couch, then you're on the chair. JESS: I get it, thank you. LUKE: On weekdays, you will have her home by nine. On weekends, you will have her home by eleven. Any evidence of alcohol, cigarette smoke, or anything else that Nancy Reagan would find unacceptable and you will not be allowed near her without an adult present. Are these rules clear? JESS: Yes. LUKE: Good. JESS: May I speak? LUKE: If you must. JESS: Do you want me to have you committed or would you prefer to check yourself in? LUKE: I'm not joking here, mister. JESS: You know you're my guardian, not hers, right? LUKE: You don't need a guardian. JESS: She tried to kiss me. LUKE: Jess. JESS: She did that thing where you stretch and then you put your arm around the other person's shoulder and then you sneeze and then your hand falls and you try to grab – LUKE: Jess, stop it. JESS: What do you think is gonna happen? LUKE: You know what I think is gonna happen. JESS: No, I don't. Tell me. Tell me what I'm gonna do to her. LUKE: You're not gonna do anything to her because when you're at her place, there's Lorelai, and when you're here, there's me, and when you're out there, there's Taylor. JESS: Romeo and Juliet had warring families and they still managed to do a little damage, you know? LUKE: Well, as soon as I catch you in a pair of tights, I'll get worried. Until then, do your homework. CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE [Lorelai walks into the kitchen with a duffel bag] LORELAI: Rory, let's move! They'll be here any minute. RORY: I'll be right there. LORELAI: And make sure to bring an extra coat. RORY: Why? LORELAI: Do not ask why. It's Gilmore road rules, trust me. RORY: But that doesn't make any sense. We're only gonna be gone for one day. LORELAI: Yeah, do me a favor, say those exact words to my mother when she shows up. RORY: Taking the coat. LORELAI: Now, I have been doing some research on our trip. RORY: Oh yeah? LORELAI: Yeah. I went to the bookstore and I found this. [shows Rory a very thin book] RORY: "The Best of New Haven." LORELAI: Yeah. RORY: It's light. LORELAI: It's New Haven. Anyhow, I looked through it and it just so happens that one of the best taco places on the East Coast is ten minutes from campus. RORY: We like tacos. LORELAI: Yes, we do. [reads] "You haven't had a taco until you've spent some time at Hector's, crisp and meaty – " RORY: Dirty. LORELAI: Thank you. "Not greasy. With homemade tortillas, it elevates this fast finger food to the level of haute cuisine." RORY: Sounds good. LORELAI: Yeah, so I thought maybe when Dad was busy poofing it up, we could go say hello to Hector. RORY: I like your thinking. LORELAI: Good. Where's your stuff? RORY: I put the extra coat by the door. LORELAI: Yeah, I know, but where's your stuff? RORY: What stuff? LORELAI: Rory, I left a list on your dresser last night. RORY: I thought you were kidding. LORELAI: You didn't pack? RORY: Well – [They walk into Rory's bedroom] LORELAI: Rory, let me explain something to you. The way you survive a road trip with my mother is to make sure you have all your bases covered, leave nothing to chance. Never give her the opportunity to give you a thirty-minute lecture on how, if you'd brought the second bathing suit like she told you to, it wouldn't have mattered that the first one's strap broke in a freak poolslide incident that no one, including the Amazing Kreskin, could've predicted, you would've been covered. RORY: I have to bring a bathing suit? It's thirty degrees outside. LORELAI: This was an example based on a true story. Now, get a skirt to go with this. RORY: But I'm still confused. When are we changing? LORELAI: Not the point. RORY: We're driving, we're walking, we're eating tacos, and we're driving again. LORELAI: Check the list. RORY: Why do I need rain boots? LORELAI: Why are you still questioning me? RORY: Should I bring both a rain hat and an umbrella, or will one or the other do? Forget it, stupid question. [Lorelai finds the bracelet that Dean made for Rory on the dresser] LORELAI: Oh wow. I guess this means there really isn't a Dean anymore, huh? RORY: Yeah, that and it broke in the shower this morning. Though I probably would've taken it off anyway. LORELAI: Or Jess would've done it for you. RORY: What did that mean? LORELAI: It just meant Jess wouldn't want you wearing another guy's bracelet. RORY: Or that Jess is a thief and he would've stolen it. LORELAI: It does work on both levels, doesn't it? RORY: So this is how it's gonna be from now on? LORELAI: What does that mean? RORY: You like Dean and you hate Jess. LORELAI: Rory. RORY: Jess will always be the evil guy who mouthed off to you and wrecked my car and Dean will always be the perfect guy who would come over and change the water bottle. LORELAI: Aw, I forgot about the water bottle. RORY: Mom. LORELAI: Rory, I said nothing. I didn't mean what you thought I meant about Jess. I'm trying to be supportive about this. RORY: How supportive? LORELAI: Supportive. You know, go team. RORY: I'm serious, I wanna know how it's gonna be. Like, can I invite him over? LORELAI: Of course you can invite him over. RORY: Well, can he actually come into the house? LORELAI: Yes, he can come into the house. RORY: Are you going to talk to him? LORELAI: Oh my God. RORY: Are you going to talk to him? LORELAI: I'll at least match him grunt for grunt. RORY: Okay. Now, let's say he's in the house and there's a fire, and you can either save him or your shoes – which is it? LORELAI: That depends – did he start the fire? RORY: Mom. LORELAI: Rory, I promised you before and I'm promising you again, I will cut this kid all kinds of slack. Did I like Dean? Yes. Did I worry about you less when you were with Dean? Yes. But I never expected you to be with Dean forever, just like I don't expect you to be with Jess forever. RORY: Oh, so now you're just waiting for the day I'm not with Jess anymore, is that it? LORELAI: You know what, I'm actually looking forward to my mother getting here. RORY: I'm kidding and thank you. LORELAI: You're annoying, and you're welcome. [doorbell rings] Let the games begin. CUT TO THE FRONT DOOR [Emily and Richard are standing on the porch] EMILY: Your drivers have arrived. RORY: Hi Grandma, hi Grandpa. RICHARD: Hello Rory, hello Lorelai. What a perfect day for a drive. LORELAI: Sure is. EMILY: You brought an umbrella? RORY: And a rain cap. EMILY: Excellent! RICHARD: Here, let me help you with those. LORELAI: Okay. [As they walk to the car, Emily notices Lorelai is carrying a coffee travel mug] EMILY: Where are you going with that? LORELAI: To the car. EMILY: You can't have that in the car. LORELAI: I know. EMILY: Well, then, what are you doing with it? LORELAI: Walking it. EMILY: Lorelai. LORELAI: Mom, I know I can't have it in the car. It will not be in the car. RICHARD: Is that everything? LORELAI: Yes, I think so. RICHARD: All right, then. Let's get this show on the road. [Lorelai gets in the back seat and holds the mug out the window] EMILY: Now let's see you drink it. [Lorelai sticks her head out the window and takes a sip] LORELAI: Mm, good to the last drop. EMILY: You stay that way until it's gone. LORELAI: Aye, aye, captain. EMILY: Let's go Richard. RICHARD: All right-y. [Richard pulls away while Lorelai drinks her coffee out the window] CUT TO YALE UNIVERSITY [The four of them are walking through the campus] LORELAI: Wow, does that guy look smart. I mean it, he's got the smart look down. The glasses, the furrowed brow, the ticky walk. RORY: The Kierkergaard. LORELAI: I really think it's the walk. RORY: Well, we are at Yale, you know. There are smart people here. LORELAI: I know there are smart people here. I just didn't realize how many. I bet if I pulled my checkbook out now, twelve guys could help me balance it. RICHARD: Thirteen if you were near the right building. RORY: Grandpa, that art gallery was amazing. Thank you. RICHARD: Yale has one of the finest collections of British art in the world. LORELAI: Louvre, schmouvre. RICHARD: Oh, I spent a lot of time in that gallery as a young man. EMILY: I'll say you did. LORELAI: What was that ‘I'll say you did'? EMILY: I just remember that that gallery was one of your father's favorite places to bring the ladies. RORY: What? RICHARD: Emily. EMILY: It's where you took me on our first date. LORELAI: So, Dad liked to impress them with the paintings. RICHARD: Why did you bring this up? EMILY: He was a master of the frown, step back, wrinkle and sigh. LORELAI: The what? EMILY: Frown. Step back. Wrinkle. And sigh. RICHARD: I did no such thing. EMILY: And then he'd talk about the paintings he had seen in Paris and the colors of Titian, and by the end of the date, you thought he was the most brilliant man in the entire world. LORELAI: Using Titian to score. Even Titian didn't do that. RICHARD: You shouldn't tell them this. They'll think I was some kind of lothario. EMILY: Well, you were. RICHARD: I was just a young single man who wanted to experience life. LORELAI: Don't ever fall for that line. RORY: I promise. RICHARD: You know, Emily, you weren't such an innocent little doe lost in the woods yourself. EMILY: I beg your pardon? LORELAI: They're turning on each other, I love it. RICHARD: I'll have you know, I was happily involved in a very serious relationship when your mother decided she simply had to have me. EMILY: Oh, the size of your ego, I swear. RICHARD: Linny Lott. EMILY: That mouse? RICHARD: Oh, that mouse and I were engaged. EMILY: Oh, you were not. RICHARD: I'd given her my pin, I'd introduced her to my parents. EMILY: So? RICHARD: The date was set, invitations mailed out. LORELAI: Mom. EMILY: Well, you couldn't marry Linny Lott. That woman needed directions to get to a point. LORELAI: Rawr! EMILY: Richard Gilmore, you are going to give these girls the wrong impression. RORY: What impression is that, Grandma? LORELAI: That you were the Helena Bonham Carter of the society set? EMILY: I did not steal your grandfather, I simply gave him a choice. RICHARD: When you showed up at my fraternity party in that blue dress, I had no choice. LORELAI: You stole my father with fashion. EMILY: I can't believe you remember the dress. LORELAI: I can't believe you were the other woman. EMILY: Oh, this is ridiculous. LORELAI: Another woman should be saying this is ridiculous. EMILY: Will you stop? [they stop next to a trash can] RICHARD: Well. . . EMILY: Well what? RICHARD: You mean you don't remember? EMILY: Oh my God! There was a bench here. RICHARD: They moved it last year. EMILY: I can't believe this. LORELAI: Me either. What if we wanted to sit down? EMILY: This is where your father proposed? RORY: Really? RICHARD: That's right. LORELAI: By the trash can. EMILY: That's right. LORELAI: Well, that's very romantic. . .especially if you need to spit your gum out. EMILY: We were going to meet my girlfriends who were going to drive me back to school. RICHARD: And you were angry with me. EMILY: Because you wouldn't commit to plans for the holidays. RICHARD: Because I was going to invite you to the house to meet my parents after I proposed. EMILY: Which I didn't know because you gave me no indication whatsoever. RICHARD: Anyway, you had just finished calling me a spineless jellyfish. EMILY: And you got very annoyed, reached in your pocket, pulled out a box and said, "Here." RICHARD: And you opened the box, showed no emotion, slammed it close and said, "Fine." EMILY: Yes, I did. [they kiss over the trash can] RORY: That's so sweet. EMILY: Oh no, my button broke. LORELAI: Oh yeah? Let me see. EMILY: It just broke in two and fell. LORELAI: Well, let me look, Mom. EMILY: It's a broken button, what is there to look at? LORELAI: All right, then, I think there's a bathroom over there. EMILY: What can we do in a bathroom? LORELAI: Meet George Michael. EMILY: What? LORELAI: Let's go. [cut to inside the bathroom] EMILY: I don't believe it. This is a brand new skirt. LORELAI: Mom, let me see. EMILY: I have this dinner to go tonight. What am I going to do? LORELAI: Drink a lot. It's easier to explain not wearing a skirt if you're falling down drunk. EMILY: Thank you for the advice. LORELAI: You know, I can rig this ‘til you get home. EMILY: You can? LORELAI: Yeah, just give me five seconds here. [pulls something out of her purse] EMILY: What is that? LORELAI: It's a paper clip. EMILY: And what do you intend to do with that paper clip? LORELAI: I intend to carve something really dirty into the bathroom door. EMILY: Lorelai. LORELAI: What rhymes with Nantucket? EMILY: I'm standing here holding my skirt. LORELAI: I'm gonna put this paper clip through the buttonhole and then through the thread that used to hold the button, and then you're gonna put your jacket back on and there you go. EMILY: That's ingenious. LORELAI: I know. If I had a thumbtack, I could make a scud missile. EMILY: You know, your father's having a wonderful time. LORELAI: Well, good. EMILY: It means a lot to him to share this with Rory. LORELAI: I know. EMILY: Actually, it means a lot to him to share this with you and Rory. It's very nice that you're here. LORELAI: Nice for you. I just found out you're not supposed to be my real mother, so I'm a little scarred. [SCENE_BREAK] [cut to Richard and Rory outside] RICHARD: See that? That is my favorite building in the whole school. RORY: It is? RICHARD: Yes, it is. RORY: Why? RICHARD: Because that's where the Timothy Dwight Dining Hall is. RORY: I thought campus food was supposed to be disgusting. RICHARD: Not Yale food. They have the most delicious pot roast you've ever tasted. RORY: I love pot roast. RICHARD: Who doesn't love pot roast? Are you having a good time? RORY: I'm having a very good time. RICHARD: I'm glad. It's nice being able to show this place to another Gilmore generation. You know, one day, when your mother was ten years old, she ran into my office and she said, "I'm going to go to Yale, just like you." She actually took my diploma out of my office and put it in her room. She wouldn't give it back to me for about six months. This place makes you remember things. Hopefully, things you're being graded on. [Emily and Lorelai walk over] EMILY: All right, we're all in one piece again. RICHARD: Oh, glad to hear it. Shall we continue? LORELAI: Okay, but you're not gonna show me the vending machine where I was conceived, are you? ‘Cause I don't think I can take it. CUT TO INSIDE THE YALE ADMINISTRATION BUILDING [The four of them are walking through a large building] RORY: Wow. LORELAI: Lions and tigers and bears. . . RORY: Oh my. RICHARD: It's impressive, isn't it? LORELAI: Yeah, I'd like to open a checking account, please. RORY: What is this place? RICHARD: This is the main administration building. Professors' offices, the dean's office. Some of the best scotch in the country can be found behind those doors. LORELAI: Not sure how to take that, Dad. RICHARD: Come on. Ah, follow me, please. LORELAI: What's he so excited about? EMILY: Oh, who knows? Dickens must have dropped a pencil here at some point. RICHARD: Rory, this is the office of a very dear friend of mine. His name is Harris Fellows, and he just happens to be the Dean of Admissions. LORELAI: Really? RICHARD: That's right. And I called him just before we came down and I asked him if he had a little time to squeeze you in and he said yes. RORY: Squeeze me in? RICHARD: For an interview. LORELAI: An interview for what, Dad? RICHARD: An interview for Yale. RORY: Grandpa. RICHARD: Oh, I told him all about you and your grades and how well you were doing at Chilton. Well, of course, he insisted on seeing you. He wouldn't let me off the hook. RORY: But I haven't applied to Yale. RICHARD: Oh, I told him that you weren't finished deciding, that you were being very picky. I think that made him want you even more. They can be very competitive, these Ivy League schools. He's expecting you at three. Oh, look, it's three now. Well, we timed this perfectly now, didn't we? Come on, I'll walk you in. Uh, we'll be right back. LORELAI: Rory, honey, you don't have to go in there. RICHARD: What? Well, of course she's going to go in there. LORELAI: Rory, honey, the only person I'm talking to, you don't have to go in there if you don't want to. RICHARD: Lorelai, the man is waiting. LORELAI: You wanna leave? ‘Cause we could just leave. RORY: No, it's okay. I'll go in. RICHARD: Harris is a very nice man, Rory. I think you two are really going to hit it off. Come on, I'll walk you in. [Richard and Rory walk into the office while Lorelai and Emily wait in the hall] EMILY: My skirt seems to be holding up very well. Lorelai – LORELAI: No. [Richard walks out of the office] RICHARD: She shook his hand. She just reached out and shook his hand. It completely threw him off. I swear, that girl. LORELAI: You know what, I almost feel like a standing ovation is in order. RICHARD: If you're going to get dramatic, let's go outside. It echoes in here. LORELAI: What did you think you were doing? RICHARD: I thought I was helping my granddaughter get into what is, in my opinion, the best Ivy League school in America. LORELAI: Even though she doesn't wanna go here? RICHARD: She doesn't know she doesn't want to go here. LORELAI: You're unbelievable, Dad. You corner her alone the other night, without me there. RICHARD: Of course I did. You wouldn't let her go. LORELAI: Oh, I wouldn't? RICHARD: I knew that the last thing in the world that you could want would be for Rory to go to Yale. LORELAI: And the reason for that would be? RICHARD: I went to Yale, therefore Rory can't. LORELAI: Oh, that's right, the crazy reason. RICHARD: That's all right. It's your prerogative to feel that way. It's mine to make sure that Rory at least knows all her options. LORELAI: Aren't you supposed to slap my face with a glove before you do this? RICHARD: I'm not going to discuss this with you. LORELAI: Well, you lied to everybody, Dad. You lied to me, you lied to Rory, I'm looking at Mom and I'm thinking you lied to her, too. EMILY: Lorelai, please, let's try and calm down. RICHARD: This is for Rory's own good. LORELAI: Rory's going to Harvard. RICHARD: We'll see. LORELAI: No, Rory's going to Harvard. It's already been decided without you, get it? You don't control it. And that little stunt of yours doesn't change that fact one bit. RICHARD: I'm sorry about the way it had to be done, but I didn't want to argue with you about it. LORELAI: My whole life, you have tried to control everything, and if you didn't get to control something, then you just didn't deal with it. RICHARD: That's ridiculous. LORELAI: When you couldn't control me, you didn't deal with me. RICHARD: This has nothing to do with you. LORELAI: No? RICHARD: This is about Rory and Rory's education. Which, frankly Lorelai, is something you know nothing about. LORELAI: Excuse me? RICHARD: You never went to college, let alone an Ivy League college. You don't know the first thing about the system, the way it works. I do, I went through it. You want Rory to go to Harvard that badly? Well, so do thousands of other mothers. Yale is an excellent school, the equal of Harvard in every way except one – I went here. I'm an alumnus. That makes it easier for Rory to get in. And if you had any idea about the way the system works, you'd know this. LORELAI: Oh, so, here it is. I knew we would eventually get to the big "my daughter's a loser, poor me, the future squandered, the Gilmore name's sullied" speech. RICHARD: I am not going to leave Rory's education to chance simply because I might risk offending you. Her future is more important than your pride. If you don't like that, I'm sorry. If it makes you angry, well, what else is new? But that, my dear girl, is the way it is. LORELAI: I'm calling a cab. We're leaving. [Lorelai walks out of the building, Emily follows her] EMILY: Lorelai, come back inside. Lorelai, put the phone away and come back inside. LORELAI: [on phone] Yes, hi, in New Haven, I need a number of a cab company. Um, anyone, pick one. Thanks. EMILY: You are not going to take a cab all the way back to Stars Hollow. LORELAI: He lied to you, too, Mom. Don't you care about that? EMILY: That is between me and your father. LORELAI: Great, whatever. Damn, I just forgot the number. EMILY: If you would just calm down and look at it from his point of view. LORELAI: [on phone] Hi, um, uh, in New Haven, I need a cab company, any cab company. EMILY: Your father is a very strong-willed man, Lorelai. You know this, you take after him. LORELAI: [on phone] Thank you. EMILY: He wants the best for Rory. He thinks this is the best. LORELAI: It doesn't really matter what he thinks. It matters what I think and what Rory thinks and the list ends there. EMILY: So Rory takes a meeting at Yale. That doesn't mean she still won't go to Harvard. LORELAI: I know it doesn't, because she is still going to Harvard. EMILY: If she applies to Yale – LORELAI: She's not applying to Yale! EMILY: And gets into Yale, that might even make her more appealing to Harvard. Have you thought about that? LORELAI: No, I haven't, because I'm not trying to reason away a crazy man's actions. EMILY: Oh, don't do this. Don't turn this into yet another one of your crusades against your childhood. Just let it go. Realize that despite the matter in which your father did this, his intentions were honorable. LORELAI: You know what, Mom? Sometimes I literally sit around and try to figure out why Dad and I have such an awful relationship. I try to figure out why we can't communicate and why we can't seem to break through whatever crap it is that stands between us, and then something like this happens and suddenly it's like, ‘Oh yeah. That's why.' EMILY: Fine, Lorelai, your father's a demon. He's cruel and out to destroy your happiness. But think about this – you're fighting so hard to send Rory off to Harvard no matter what that you haven't even stopped for one second to consider that if she went to Yale, she could live at home. Consider that on your cab ride. LORELAI: [on phone] Hi, yes, in New Haven, I need a cab company. CUT TO INSIDE THE ADMINISTRATION BUILDING [Rory and the Dean of Admissions walk out of the office] HARRIS: It was a pleasure to meet you. I'll read that book you recommended. RORY: And don't be fooled by the Oprah seal on the cover, it's actually very good. RICHARD: Well, how did it go? I see that everyone is smiling. HARRIS: Richard, your granddaughter is everything you said and more. You should be very proud. RICHARD: I am, very proud. HARRIS: It was very nice meeting you. RORY: Same here. HARRIS: I'll see you at dinner later, Richard. RICHARD: Thanks, Harris. [Harris walks away] RICHARD: Well, that – that sounded like it went very well. Uh, what did you tell him to read? RORY: Why did you do that? RICHARD: Do what? RORY: Why did you make this appointment without telling me about it? RICHARD: Rory, I know this appointment upset your mother, but this was an important opportunity. RORY: I know it was an important opportunity. That's why I can't believe you didn't prepare me for it. I didn't have my transcripts, my letters of recommendation. I couldn't even remember what I wanted to major in when he asked. RICHARD: I'm sure he knew you were nervous. RORY: But I didn't have to be that nervous. I could've been calm. I could've brushed my hair. I never would've worn this. RICHARD: Oh, Rory, none of this matters. RORY: It matters to me. I like to be prepared. This has nothing to do with Mom. If you had really wanted me to take this meeting, I would've done it just because you asked me to. And I would've done it right. [Lorelai and Emily walk back into the building] LORELAI: Rory, a cab is meeting us at the main gate. Let's go. RORY: I'm coming. Bye Grandma. EMILY: Goodbye Rory. [Lorelai and Rory leave] EMILY: [to Richard] Don't you even look at me. CUT TO STARS HOLLOW [Lorelai and Rory get out of a cab and start walking down the sidewalk] LORELAI: Thanks. Uh, well, here's the good news. You no longer have to worry about which college to go to ‘cause that cab ride was your college tuition. RORY: Can we not say the word college for at least forty-eight hours? LORELAI: Fine. RORY: Thank you. LORELAI: How ‘bout collage, can we say collage? ‘Cause it sounds the same but it's actually very different. RORY: Collage is fine. LORELAI: Okay, good, ‘cause I don't even know how to get through a conversation without the word collage. RORY: I should've listened to you about today. LORELAI: Oh, no. There's no way even I could've seen this one coming. [they walk into the diner] RORY: I can't believe I had a meeting at Yale today. LORELAI: I know. RORY: And I can't believe the only name that popped into my head when he asked for my role model was Gloria Estefan. LORELAI: Well, you don't work great under pressure. RORY: Sucky day. LORELAI: But excellent tacos. RORY: Yeah, Hector really came through. LUKE: What are you doing? LORELAI: We're coming from a day with my parents. Want a taco? LUKE: Uh, no thanks. See, I already have food here. We sell it to the other customers who don't come quite as prepared as the two of you. LORELAI: Mm, be nice and get us some salsa. LUKE: At least order a cup of coffee. RORY: Coffee and tacos? LORELAI: Sounds just gross enough to work. JESS: Hi. RORY: Hi. LUKE: Please, I'll finish it – hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. I'm getting the coffee. JESS: I gotta run out for a second and get a part for my car. LUKE: Get a receipt this time. JESS: I'll be back. [leaves] LORELAI: Hey Luke, what's the record for most tacos eaten in a diner that doesn't actually sell tacos? LUKE: I have no idea. LORELAI: Find out, will you, ‘cause if it's less than five, we're famous. LUKE: Where'd you get those things anyhow? LORELAI: New Haven. LUKE: Really? That dump was close? LORELAI: We paid a little visit to Yale today. RORY: Yes, one that I would prefer not to relive, thank you very much. I'm gonna go study. LORELAI: Okay hon, see you back home. RORY: Bye Luke. LUKE: Bye. [Rory leaves; Luke sits down with Lorelai] LUKE: Uh, listen, I just want you to know that I had a little talk with Jess earlier. LORELAI: You did? LUKE: Yes, I did, and I really laid down the rules concerning him and Rory. Trust me, he now knows that I am going to be watching them every second they are together. LORELAI: Oh good. LUKE: Yup. LORELAI: You know, they're together now. LUKE: What? LORELAI: Oh yeah. ‘I have to get a part for my car', ‘I'm going to go study' – that's kid code for ‘Meet me at the previously agreed upon location far away from my clueless uncle.' LUKE: You're kidding me, right? You don't really think that. . .damn, they are! They're together. They used the kid code and now they're together! LORELAI: It's okay, Luke. LUKE: It's okay, Luke? They are out there right now doing God knows what, completely unsupervised. How did you let this happen? LORELAI: Me? LUKE: Yes, you. I thought you were against this. LORELAI: I thought you were all, ‘This is so great and Rory's gonna change Jess.' LUKE: What is she, a miracle worker? Come on, Lorelai, wake up – the guy's trouble. I have to find them. Caesar, I'll be back in a little while. LORELAI: You're seriously gonna run all over town looking for Jess and Rory? LUKE: If I have to, yes. And if you were really a concerned mother, you'd go out there with me. LORELAI: No, I can't do that. But if you like, I'll let you sniff Rory's sweater. Maybe her scent will help you track them down. LUKE: The things you find amusing astound me sometimes. [Luke grabs Rory's sweater from the chair] LORELAI: You're not really gonna sniff it. LUKE: No, it's cold out. She might need it. CUT TO GAS STATION [Jess stands next to a gas pump holding an unlit cigarette as Rory walks up to him] RORY: You going to smoke that or mind meld with it? JESS: It depends. RORY: So where's the part for your car? JESS: Huh, I don't know. Gypsy said she was gonna leave it for me somewhere. Guess she forgot. RORY: She's bad that way. JESS: I'm just gonna have to take my business elsewhere. RORY: Looks that way. JESS: So. RORY: So. JESS: Here we are. RORY: Yeah, here we are. So, tell me, what's your decision about smoking that depending on? JESS: On what's gonna happen. RORY: When? JESS: Now. [They kiss] RORY: I'm glad you didn't smoke it. JESS: Oh yeah? RORY: Yeah. [they kiss again] JESS: Well, whatever else happens between us, at least we know that part works. What? RORY: I have to go. JESS: What? Did I do something or – RORY: No, no. This was. . . you were – are. . .it was wonderful, and I look forward to many similar occurrences in the future, but right now, I have to go. Understand? JESS: Not at all. RORY: It's more fun that way, isn't it? JESS: Come here. [kisses her] Beat it. RORY: I'll see you tomorrow. CUT TO DEAN'S HOUSE [Rory knocks on Dean's bedroom window, he opens it] RORY: Hey. DEAN: What are you doing? RORY: I climbed a tree. DEAN: Why? RORY: Well, I was afraid to ring the doorbell ‘cause your mom would answer and I assume she knows, so I assume she hates me and I just wanted to talk to you, so. . . DEAN: She doesn't know. RORY: She doesn't. DEAN: I haven't really been in the mood to talk about it. RORY: But you're going to have to tell her eventually, so if she did answer the door and was nice to me, then I would've known that she was going to be hating me soon, and that just would've been really hard because I like your mom. I guess you're probably gonna tell your sister also, so she's probably gonna hate me, too. DEAN: Well, too bad, Rory. Somebody doesn't like you for once. RORY: I didn't mean – DEAN: What do you want? RORY: Do you remember that girl Butterfly who lived in a tree for a year? I can officially attest that she was nuts. DEAN: I have to go. RORY: I wanna say that I'm sorry. DEAN: For what? RORY: For treating you the way I did. For doing all the things you said I did. I am so, so sorry. It's all my fault. I don't know what's wrong with me. You were the most amazing boyfriend in the world. You made me so happy. You made me laugh, you made my mother like you, you were nice to my friends, you protected me, you even came with me to that stupid debutante ball. DEAN: I don't need the list. RORY: I really did love you. Please believe that. DEAN: You with him now? RORY: I don't wanna talk about him. I just came to tell you that I'm truly sorry that I hurt you, and that I'm going to miss you so much, and I just hope that someday you won't hate me anymore. DEAN: I hope so, too. [Dean closes the window] CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE [Rory is studying on the couch as Lorelai walks into the room with two mugs] LORELAI: Coffee and Ovaltine. RORY: Thanks. LORELAI: It's getting late, you almost done? RORY: Almost. LORELAI: Don't study so much that you get brilliant, go mad, grow a big bald egghead and try to take over the world, okay, ‘cause I wanna go shoe shopping this weekend. RORY: Promise, I will not go mad until we get you some boots. LORELAI: Thank you. [starts to walk upstairs, then turns around] Hey. RORY: Yeah? LORELAI: How was the rest of the evening? RORY: It was eventful. LORELAI: Eventful. . . well, okay. Goodnight hon. [starts to go upstairs] RORY: Mom? LORELAI: [turns around] Yeah? RORY: Details tomorrow. LORELAI: Ah, thank God. ‘Cause you know what not knowing these things does to me. RORY: I know. LORELAI: I can't sleep. I wonder what I did wrong. Should I not have left you that first day in kindergarten when you begged me not to? Are you holding it against me? RORY: I was fine staying at kindergarten. You were the one that had trouble leaving. LORELAI: See, see how irrational I get when you hold out on me? I invent crazy reasons why you hold out on me. RORY: Night Mom. LORELAI: Night babe. [goes upstairs] [Later that night, Rory walks into her bedroom, turns out the light and tries to go to sleep. A moment later, she turns the light back on, grabs her Yale brochure from her night table and starts reading it. Upstairs, Lorelai is reading the same brochure in her bedroom.]

Plan: A: the Dance Marathon; Q: What event did Kirk parade around Stars Hollow with the trophy after? A: Kirk; Q: Who parades around Stars Hollow with the trophy until someone steals it? A: Lorelai; Q: Who tells Luke about Rory and Jess? A: Rory; Q: Who visits Dean to apologize and tell him that she misses his friendship? A: Luke; Q: Who breaks up Lorelai and Rory's first kiss? A: Jess; Q: Who does Luke set ground rules with about Rory? A: Richard's invitation; Q: What invitation did Lorelai and Rory reluctantly accept? A: quite an unwelcome surprise; Q: What does Richard spring on Lorelai and Rory? A: three; Q: How many women did Richard surprise at his Whiffenpoof reunion? A: late at night; Q: When do Lorelai and Rory read the Yale brochure? Summary: In the aftermath of the Dance Marathon, Kirk parades around Stars Hollow with the trophy until someone steals it, while Lorelai and Rory painfully inch their way towards Luke's; after Lorelai tells Luke about Rory and Jess, he breaks up their first kiss as a couple and then lays down some ground rules with Jess about dating Rory; Lorelai and Rory reluctantly agree to accept Richard's invitation to accompany him and Emily to his Whiffenpoof reunion at Yale, where he springs quite an unwelcome surprise on all three women; back from New Haven, Lorelai and Rory head for Luke's, and Jess and Rory finally get to have those first kisses; Rory visits Dean to apologize and tell him that she misses his friendship; late at night, Lorelai and Rory each curl up with some bedtime reading -- the Yale brochure.

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Tim: I just remember the atmosphere back then. Casey: If you really do miss it, maybe you should come with me on my rodeo tour. Tim: (Chuckles) Casey: There's nothing like it. Is there any way you'd ever consider hiring me again? Welcome back. Ty: Well, I just got my old job back. That's great. Ty: I should get going. Amy: Ty? I miss you. Take care of yourself. (Truck rumbles away) (german choral music plays) (Horses snort, wagon creaks) Georgie: Hey. Hi. Georgie: I'm Georgie. Hanna: Hanna. Haven't I seen you before, like at Maggie's or something? My sister and I deliver baking there sometimes. Oh, right! Your rhubarb pie is crazy good. Thanks. So do your horses have names? Lucas and Alexander. I was trying to listen, but I didn't hear much. What's wrong with them? My brother, Paul, was taking some kids on a hay ride, and Lucas and Alexander started going faster and faster. Paul couldn't get them under control. Everyone was just really scared. My brother thinks there's something wrong with the horses. I'll start by ground driving them. I wanna see how they work together as a team. Paul: We should just sell them. Walter: Let's not be hasty. Give Amy a chance to figure it out. Jack: Amy worked with a team of clydesdales a few years back. She had them in shape in no time. Amy: Well, I've never worked with percherons before, but give me a few days, and I'll see what I can do. We should discuss money. Amy: This is on the house. Walter: Oh, no, that's far too kind. Jack: You know, last year when the road to Heartland was washed out, the folks from your colony were a big help to us. It's the least we can do. Well, our garden is producing far more strawberries than we know what to do with, so you'll at least take some of those off our hands. Deal. (Chuckles) Lou: So... three weeks on the road with Casey. That's a long trip. Tim: Yeah, it was. Lou: How was it? Tim: Fine. Lou: Just fine? Tim: Great! (Chuckles) Lou: And Casey? Tim: What about her? Lou: Dad, you spent three weeks on the road together. I wanna know how it went? Tim: We had a good time. Lou: And now? Tim: And now I'm back. So catch me up. How's everything at home? Uh, it's good. Everything's good. You know, um, Katie's feet grew two sizes. I keep having to give her old shoes away. And Amy, she's... I don't know. She's... I think it's better, but she's putting on a brave face. Wait, wait. Brave face. What do you mean? You know, Amy and Ty, they... You don't know, do you? Know what, Lou? (Dogs bark in the distance, door swings open) Scott: Give me the run down, from the top. Ty: The cat - Mr. Whiskers - has been vomiting for five days now. The x-rays show a foreign body in the upper intestine. Scott: So what's the plan? Ty: Well, you're gonna make a small incision in the abdomen, and search the intestines and remove whatever he swallowed. You want to do the honours? Are you serious? Yeah. You're more than capable. Uh... yeah. (Blows out his breath) (Birds chirp, Lucas and Alexander grunt) Georgie: I'm surprised those people that dropped off the horses were using a truck. Amy: Why's that? Well, don't they use like... buggies and horses to get around? Amy: Uh, no. You're confusing them with the amish. Hutterites are different. They run big, modern farming operations on their colonies. Oh... Well, Hanna told me about these guys. Do you think you can fix them? Don't you mean "we." You're still my partner, right? Right. Amy: Okay, well, let's get this harness on Alexander. Georgie: All right. (Harness jingles) I'm not seeing anything. (X-ray flutters) It has to be in there somewhere. Keep looking. There's no protrusion, redness. Everything seems clear. I don't understand. Well, you're the one who took the X-ray. Are you sure it wasn't just an artifact on the screen? Scott: Ty? Ty: Uh, I-I-I... I'm ninety-nine percent sure, Scott. Scott: That's not good enough. Next time be a 100% sure. Step aside. There's your problem right there. You're looking in the wrong place. What's that right here, adjacent to the stomach? Ty: Uh... Scott: Come on, you should know this. It's-it's the duodenum. Good. Does that look normal to you? Ty: No. Scott: That's our foreign body. Looks like you didn't cut open this cat for no reason after all. Ty: (Sighs) Uh... I'm gonna get some fresh air. (Door creaks, gloves snap) We need to talk. ♪ And at the break of day you sank into your dream ♪ ♪ You dreamer ♪ oh, oh, oh... ♪ You dreamer ♪ you dreamer Ty: Shouldn't you be happy? You never thought I was good enough for Amy in the first place. Oh, come on. You got it all wrong, Ty. I might have been hard on you, but... Comes with the territory. (Dogs bark in the distance) So... why are you here then? Because, as usual, I'm the last to know that you and Amy are no longer together, so I just wanted to have a chance to say goodbye. And whether you believe it or not, I like you... sort of. So, in case this is more than just a temporary break, I just wanted to say... all the best. Okay. Good luck. Thanks. Happy trails. Both: (Chuckle) You're sure about this "break" though, right? Because the way I see it, a break and breaking up... same thing. Now, it might not be any of my business, but you and Amy have been back and forth so many times, I get whiplash just thinking about it. Frankly, I'm tired of it. You must be too. So if you're gonna break up, just break up. Tim, this is something... And, so you know, it gets easier - living with regret. It takes practice. It stings at first, but you can drink, that's what I did for years. And eventually... you learn to live with it. You convince yourself it was for the best. I've grown, I'm a better person. And then it just becomes this... dull, empty feeling that you live with. So... you got that to look forward to. (Shakes Ty's hand) Good luck. (Door creaks open and shut, Ty sighs) Jack: Hey, Lise? Lisa: Hey! There's some fresh coffee in there. Jack: Thanks. I have a letter here addressed to... Mr. and Mrs. Bartlett. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Lisa: Mm-hmm. It does. Too bad it's not my name. Well, it could be, couldn't it? If you wanted it to be. Uh, yeah, I suppose. Lisa Stillman's been my name my entire life, but... not even with Dan did I change it. I'm not gonna change it now. But we didn't really talk about that before we got married, you didn't expect me to change my name, did you? Lisa: Jack? Jack: (Chuckles) Lou: So your total comes to $67.80. Casey: Oh! And I'll take one of these too... If you sign it for me? Lou: Of course. I'd love to. You just missed my dad. He was in here talking about what a great time you two had on the road together. Really? Worst three weeks of my life. I'm kidding. (Laughs) I'm kidding. We had a great time... When he wasn't driving too fast, and spilling coffee in my truck. Yeah, he can be kind of inconsiderate sometimes. Casey: Yeah, and then he'll go and do something completely charming and sweet and you can't help but like the guy. It's very annoying. Oh, you are describing my entire childhood. (Laughs) You must be so scarred. You can read all about it in my book. Casey: I can't wait. Lou: Okay. Well, you know, we go for lunch or something sometime. Yeah, I'd like that. Better idea. You and my dad should come by the ranch tomorrow night for dinner and get to know the entire family. Casey: Really? Lou: Yeah. Okay, sure. Enjoy the book. Thanks. And, uh, I've never met a famous author before. Lou: Oh, bad news. You still haven't. Oh, don't be so modest. Everybody in this town knows who Lou Fleming is. Lou: You know what? You I like. My dad better not mess this up. (Chuckles) Bye. See ya. (Door clicks open) (Birds chirp) (Hooves plod softly, harness jingles) Amy: Good. (Chuckles) Amy: I really don't get it. Georgie: What? Amy: Well, they're pulling on the reins nice and evenly, they've got nice pressure. So far they seem to be the perfect team. Georgie: Then why did Paul lose control during the hay ride? Amy: Um... I don't know. Should we keep ground driving them? Amy: No. I have a better idea. Whoa, boys. I think it's time to try something a little more challenging. (Hooves clop on gravel, wagon rattles) Amy: And whoa... Good boys. There is nothing wrong with these horses. They're doing exactly what they're supposed to do. Maybe they got spooked on the hay ride by like a snake or something. Amy: Well, apparently, the hay ride wasn't the first time they acted up. Yeah, I'm thinking this has a lot more to do with the driver than it does with the horses. You mean Hanna's brother. Only one way to find out. (Dialing beeps) (Music plays in diner) Tim: Hey! Lou: Oh, hey, dad. You know, you just missed Casey. She was in getting supplies. Oh, yeah! You two are coming for dinner tomorrow, so don't forget. And tell Casey she doesn't have to bring anything. Tim: Y-you invited Casey for dinner? Lou: There you go. Enjoy. Diner: Thank you. Tim: Lou? Lou: Yeah, I did. And she's not a vegetarian or anything is she? 'Cause I was gonna make a braised lamb shank. Lou: Here you go. Tim: Lou. Lou, stop. You have to call Casey and tell her dinner's off. Lou: What? Why would I do that? Tim: Because I never asked you to invite Casey for dinner. Lou: Dad, come on. don't you think it is about time that your family meet the woman you've been spending so much time with? Tim: It's not that serious, Lou. We... we had a little fun and now it's winding down. Lou: Winding down? Tim: Yes, to a natural and mutually understood ending. Uh-huh. And does, um, Casey know about this "natural and mutually understood ending"? Of-of course... On-on some level. Lou: Unbelievable! You haven't actually told her yet. It's an unfinished conversation. Dad, a woman does not accept an invitation to meet a man's family unless she thinks the relationship is going somewhere. Well, how do I know what a woman's thinking? I don't read minds. You know what you're doing? You're leading her on. Tim: No, I'm not. Lou: Yes. Yes, you are, and there is nothing I can't stand more than a man who leads a woman on. You know what? If you wanna cancel this dinner, you go ahead. I'm not doing your dirty work for you. (Light punch) I really liked her, dad. She bought my book. I knew you'd mess this up. (Horses snort softly) Amy: We're just gonna take this nice and slow. An easy walk around the yard. You all right? Fine. (Gulps) (Clucks his tongue) (Hooves clop on gravel) Amy: Okay, you need a little more contact. Paul: Okay. Amy: You have too much slack in your lines. Paul: Okay, okay. Amy: Okay, pull up. Paul: I know what I'm doing. Amy: Pull back on the reins. Paul: I'm pulling back! Amy: Keep them on the road! Paul, just pull back! Paul: All right! Amy: Paul! Paul: Whoa! Amy: Easy! (Wagon rattles, horses pant hard) Easy, boys. Good boys. And... whoa, boys. Whoa... Paul: I thought you were supposed to be fixing these horses? Lucas and Alexander aren't the problem, are they? Look, Paul, you don't have to be embarrassed. I can give you some pointers on how to drive? I know how to drive. Okay. Um... Then maybe you're afraid and you're telegraphing your fear to the horses. Is this what you do when you can't figure out how to fix a horse? You blame the owner? Amy: Well... I'm not blaming. Look, I'm just trying to help you. I don't want your help. Amy: Why did you hire me? Paul: I didn't. My dad thought it'd be a good idea. He was wrong. (Sighs heavily) (Door creaks open) Scott: Hey, Ty. Catch. (Light tap) What's this? That's the foreign body I removed from Mr. Whiskers intestine... a nice shiny penny. You should've stuck around for the extraction. It was pretty cool. Sorry I missed it. You know, Ty, I double checked that X-ray before we started the operation. I knew it wasn't just an artifact on the screen. Well, then, why did you ask me? I wanted to see how you would react. Sometimes things don't go according to plan during surgery. So, next time, just take a breath, trust your instincts. I need you to stay overnight and watch Mr. Whiskers. Oh, I've been here since 6 a.m., Scott. Is that a problem? No, it's not a problem. Good. Keep the penny. It's a souvenir. See you in the morning. (Birds chirp) Hanna: Hi, Alexander. Lucas. You want a carrot? (Horses chomp loudly, Hanna giggles) Hanna: There... (Giggles) Georgie: Hanna? Hanna: (Gasps) Georgie: Hanna, what're doing? Wait! Wait up! Hanna! Hanna! (Bicycle rattles away) Lou, when are Hanna and her mom dropping off the baking at the diner? Lou: Uh, they usually drop it off in the morning around nine, I think. But I'm not sure if they're doing a delivery today. Did you want some breakfast or... Oh, okay, bye. Amy: Hey, Lou, when you're in town today, can you stop by the vet clinic and grab the west nile vaccine? Lou: Mm-hmm. Amy: What's that look for? Lou: What look? Like you're judging me. Why would I judge you because you're avoiding Ty? It's perfectly human. (Spoon clanks) Cowardly maybe, but... perfectly human. Amy: Just this once, please? Lou: Look... I will do my sisterly duties for you this time, but... you can't avoid him forever. (Diner buzzes with chatter) Tim: So... Casey: So? There's... something I need to tell you. Oh, great. You've got another love child out there somewhere, don't you? What? No. I-I have just one love child. Secretly married? Is that what it is? No, I-I told you all my secrets on the road trip. I know, but I was only half listening. Kinda boring. (Laughs) No... I got you something. What? What is this? It's just a little something to thank you for... turning what could've been a very lonely trip into something really special. You told me you like to fly fish. The guy at the store said you'd like it. (Gasps) You hate it. It's perfect. Really, I... Thank you. (Laughs) Look, I'm sorry. I know that you said you had something to tell me and I... I totally interrupted you. Tim: I wa-yeah, I was going say... I was just going to say... that I hope you're ready for dinner tonight, because meeting my family is a big deal and you can always back out. Casey: No, actually, I'm really looking forward to it. Great. That's great. (People chatter, car honks) Georgie: Hanna! Hanna: Uh, hi, Georgie. Are you gonna tell on me? Uh, no. Tell what? I wasn't supposed to be at Heartland this morning. I barely got home in time to help with the baking. If my mom found out, I'd be in a lot of trouble. Well, I won't say anything. Thank you. You know, you didn't have to run away this morning. I mean you can come see Lucas and Alexander whenever you want. Hanna: Really? Georgie: Yeah. Your secret's safe with me. Hanna's Mom: Hanna? Come! Hanna: I better go. If you want, you can come stop by later. Hanna: I'll try. Georgie: Okay. (Traffic rumbles) You coming Katie? Katie: My cowboy hat's lost! Lisa: Oh, no, I-I think I saw it in your room. You go check. Lisa: Jack... Jack: Mm-hmm? You don't wear a wedding ring. Jack: What's that? Lisa: You don't wear a wedding ring, right? Jack: Right. Lisa: And you've made that choice and I respect that. Just like you can respect that I... don't wanna change my name. Jack: Okay. Lisa: Okay. (Under his breath) It's not really the same thing, but... What, I'm sorry? I said, it's not really the same thing. Well, no, but they are two traditions that we've chosen not to follow because we're a non-traditional couple. Well, maybe some traditions are worth holding on to. You mean like wearing a wedding ring, for example? Or like changing your last name, for example. (Running footsteps) Lisa: Oh! There it is! Jack: Oh, looking good, Katie. Katie: Bye, GG. Jack: Bye. Lisa: We're gonna go see pogie, GG...? Jack: GG, yeah. Great grandpa. Lisa: Oh! Oh, that's good. (Under her breath) Hi! Ty: Here you go. One dozen west nile vaccines. Lou: Thanks. We keep on running out of this stuff. Ty: So you've been inoculating a lot of horses lately? Yeah, tons. Whole... herds. Right. So you're obviously not here because Amy sent you? What? No, that's... crazy. It's okay, Lou. I get it. So how are you? I'm good. Yeah? 'Cause you don't... You don't look so good. Thanks. I just mean you look tired. Well, I just worked a night shift that sorta... kept going, so... By choice? Uh... not exactly. Scott's been on my case ever since I got back. I think he's holding a bit of a grudge, but... Lou: What do you mean? Ty: Well, he wasn't exactly happy when I quit to go work at the wildlife reserve, so I think he's still upset about that. Well, I've known Scott for a long time, and I think if that were true, he would be straight with you. Anyway, I've gotta go. It was good to see you, Ty. Ty: You too. (Receding footsteps) Hey, Lou? Lou: Yeah? Can you tell Amy that I said uh... Tell her that I said hello. I will. [SCENE_BREAK] Hanna: Are you being a good boy, Lucas? You're not eating all of Alexander's food again, are you? Lucas is greedier than a prize-winning hog. Amy: Hey, Hanna, do you know why Paul lost control of the wagon? Promise you won't say anything. Not to my dad. Not to anyone. Amy: Okay. Georgie: Promise. Paul doesn't like horses. He likes machines. My brother would much rather be fixing engines than taking care of Lucas and Alexander. Amy: Well, then, why was he taking those kids on a hay ride? Because my dad asked him to. The last thing Paul would ever want to do is disappoint him. So then that story about the horses was just a cover? He's ashamed. He doesn't want my dad to know the truth. That's why he wants to sell them. I don't want them to go. Sometimes I sneak into the barn just to see them. There's lots of weeding and canning I should be doing, but... Lucas and Alexander are the best part of my day. (Truck rumbles up, dog barks) (Door clicks open, bangs shut) Paul: What are you doing here? Georgie: We invited her. Meh foen. Kumps geya. Paul, I know why you wanna sell the horses. I think you're making a big mistake. If you can't fix them, then I don't have any other choice. Lucas and Alexander are perfectly fine. You don't know that. Hanna: Yes I do. I've... driven the wagon before. When? Lots of times, when no one's looking. This is your fault. You did something wrong. You messed them up. That's what I'll tell dad if you make a fuss. Stop it! You're such a liar! Amy: Okay, Georgie... Paul: Get in the truck. Casey: No, we really lucked out though. I mean the weather was good, we hardly had any road construction. Tim: Mm. Lisa: That sounds like a perfect trip. Yeah, until Tim hit a dog. Lou: No. You're kidding! Tim: I nicked it. Barely. Georgie: Was he okay? Tim: He was fine. Casey: Yeah, five hundred dollars in vet bills later. (Snorts and laughs) Lou: Okay, it's time for you to go to bed. It is way past your bedtime. Let me do it. You stay. Lou: Are you sure? Lisa: Yeah, of course. Come on, honey, let's get you ready for bed. Katie: I want Casey read me a story? Lisa: Oh! Well, if Casey wants to read you a story, let's do that. Are you kidding? I would love to. Lou: Okay, but only two stories. That's it. Casey: I'll try my best. Lou: Be strong. Casey: (Laughs) (Katie hums happily, receding footsteps) Did I mention how much I like her? Georgie: I like her too. Amy: Yeah, she's great, dad. Lou: Yeah. Funny, smart, beautiful... Only an idiot would let a girl like that go. I can't believe you hit a dog. I just nicked it! What was that about? I made the mistake of confiding in Lou about Casey, which is, frankly, none of her business. Yeah, I guess it's none of my business either. Tim: Jack, sometimes two people go different directions. Happened to you and Lisa. You broke up for awhile before you got married. That's true... but I was being an idiot. (Cell phone rings, beeps on) Amy: Hello? Walter. Yes, hi. Um... actually, can you hold for one moment? It's Hanna's dad. He wants to know what's going on with Lucas and Alexander. What're you gonna say? I think we should tell him the truth. Well, you can't. We promised Hanna. I know. But Georgie, keeping this from Walter is wrong. Amy, a promise is a promise. Amy: Hi. Um... you know, I'm actually just gonna need a few days to work with them. No, I know, but... (Sighs) Okay. Yeah, I understand. Okay. Have a good night. (Phone beeps off) He's picking up the horses tomorrow. Why? Amy: He found a buyer. Georgie: (Sighs) (Birds chirp, cow moos) Scott: Okay, so give me the run down. Ty: Well, the cow gave birth last week, and she's been off her feed for a few days now, so... judging from the sounds of her stomach, I'd say it's a displaced abomasum. Scott: How do we fix it? Ty: Make a small incision in the abdomen, reach in and untwist the stomach manually. Scott: Easy, right? Ty: In and out. Shouldn't take more than an hour. Scott: An hour, huh? Ty: Yeah, well... give or take. Scott: All right. (Phone beeps) I'll time you, then. Starting now. Ty: What do you mean? Scott: Well, I wanna see if you can do this surgery in under an hour. Ty: You want me to do the surgery? Scott: 59 minutes and 38 seconds. 37. (Gloves rustle) Jack: Oh, that sounds like a private family situation. I don't know that I wanna get involved. No, we're not asking you to get involved, grandpa. Well, then what're you asking? We just need a tiny favour. Lou: So... talked to Casey yet? Tim: No, I haven't talked to Casey yet. Why is it so important to you, Lou? You're like a terrier gnawing at my pant leg. Lou: Excuse me? You know what? Forget I said anything. Tim: No, I wanna know. Since when did you become president of the Casey Fan Club? Is it just because she bought your book? Lou: That is not the reason. Tim: Well, then what is it? Lou: It's hard to explain. Tim: Try me. Lou: You know what? I admit I wasn't crazy about grandpa marrying Lisa in secret, but now that they're together, I feel like he has a person. Someone who will always be there for him, and it gives me comfort knowing that, okay? And I just... I want you to have a person too, okay? I'm not saying it has to be Casey. I'm just saying that you deserve to have someone special in your life. Dad, you're... When you're not being a major pain in the butt, you are a funny, gentle guy with a big heart. A ridiculously big heart... and I just... I just want you to be happy. Casey does make me happy. We laughed the entire time we were on that road trip. I have never met anyone like her. Then why are you pushing her away? (Takes a deep breath) Oh, dad... You're falling in love with her... and that terrifies you. (Fork hits plate hard) (Birds chirp, footsteps crunch on gravel) So Amy had a couple errands to run in town. She shouldn't be long. Walter: Oh, we'll load up the horses and be on our way. Jack: Yeah, I'll give you a hand in a minute. Uh... I'm just wondering... Do either of you two fellas know anything about diesel engines? I've been tinkering on this hunk of junk tractor all morning, and I... for the life of me, I can't get it to run. Paul is the best mechanic on the colony. Jack: You don't say? Walter: Why don't you have a look? Don't we have to meet the buyer soon? We still have some time. Jack: Appreciate it. Amy: Are you sure they're making their delivery today? Georgie: I hope so. Amy: They better hurry up 'cause grandpa can only stall Walter for so long. Georgie: (Gasps) Look. There they are. (Truck doors close) Georgie: Hanna! Your dad's at Heartland. He's gonna sell Alexander and Lucas. Hanna: I know. Georgie: But we have to stop him. Hanna: How? Georgie: You said you've driven the wagon, right? Well, we need to show your dad and then he'll know Paul was lying. Hanna: No. Georgie: Why not? It'll humiliate him. I can't do that to my brother. Georgie: Well, what about Lucas and Alexander? I'd rather lose them than risk my brother hating me. Do you have a brother or sister, Georgie? Georgie: Yeah. Hanna: So you understand. At least come say goodbye. (Receding footsteps) And try it now. (Engine starts and rumbles loudly) (Jack laughs, turns engine off) Boy, you made that look easy. Good job! Quite the son you got there. (Truck rumbles) Walter: Hanna? (Truck doors bang shut) Vos tuesten doh? I came to say goodbye to the horses. Mom said it was okay. (Weeping) You won't separate them, right? That'll depend. We may have to. They won't like being separated. They've always have each other. Say your goodbyes quickly. We have a buyer waiting to meet us. Come on. Let's get them loaded. (Crying) Come on, let's get them loaded on. (Crying) (Weeping) Goodbye. It'll be okay. (Weeping) We shouldn't sell them. It's not Lucas and Alexander's fault I lost control of the wagon. (Horses chew and snort, Hanna sniffles) What do you mean? Paul: I'm no good with horses. I don't understand them, not the way Hanna does. (Norse grunts softly, Hanna sniffles) She can even drive the wagon. Why did you keep this from me? I didn't want you to be disappointed. I'm sorry, dad. Walter: Is what your brother said true? Yes. I can show you. (Hooves clop on gravel, tack jingles) Good. Lucas, good. (Wagon rattles) (Grunting, cow moos) Ty: Damn it. Scott: What's wrong? Ty: Well, it's really twisted out. Scott: All right, step aside. I'll do it. Ty: No, no, I... I got it. Scott: I said step aside. Ty: I said I got it! (Wet, squishy sounds) Ty: (Grunts and sighs) There. It's back in place. Scott: You sure? Ty: Yeah. Scott: How sure? Ty: A hundred percent. Ty: (Breathing hard) (Cattle moo) Scott: All right, everything seems fine. Good job. Better close her back up. You only have twelve minutes left. (Cattle moo) Tim: Last night... dinner with the family... I'll tell you, you really won everybody over. That's a tough crowd, trust me. Casey: Didn't win you over though, did I? I'm not a fool, Tim. I grew up around rodeo cowboys and that whole moving on to different towns, different women is just second nature to you guys. Tim: Well, I haven't been a rodeo cowboy in a long time. Casey: Yeah, but you still have that "moving on" look in your eye, and you have ever since we got back from that trip. You know what I'm talking about. Tim: Casey, wait. Wait, wait. You got this all wrong. Let's not make this harder than it needs to be. (Kiss) I'll see you around. (Trailer door bangs shut, latch clicks) Thank you for your help, Jack. I'm sorry we wasted Amy's time. Oh, you didn't waste her time at all. The important thing is, you know the truth now. I guess the rest is up to you. Jack: Have a good day, Walter. Walter: You too, Jack. (Truck doors open and close) (german choral music starts) (Seatbelt clicks, keys jingle) Walter: (Sighs) Who among us could fix that tractor as quickly as you did? None, to be sure. So don't for a minute think that I'm not proud of you. (Engine starts) (Truck rumbles away) Scott: You need to work on your sutures. A few of your bites were too shallow. Next time, be more consistent. Is this how it's gonna be from now on? Scott: What? It's pretty obvious you got a problem with me. I mean, I know you're disappointed that I quit and I went to work at the wildlife reserve, but you can't keep taking it out on me, especially during surgery. Scott: You saw an opportunity at the reserve and you took it. If I was your age, I would've done the same thing. Well, then why are you being so hard on me? I'm not being hard on you. I'm pushing you. That's the only way you're gonna be a great vet one day. From now on, I'm just gonna throw you in the deep end, see if you can swim. Today you swam. (Cattle moo, receding footsteps) (Birds chirp, water splashes) Amy: Hey, stranger. Tim: Hey. Amy: I've been meaning to ask you something. What? You brought Casey to dinner, to meet the family. Does that mean it's serious? Tim: Actually, honey, I've... I'm not sure it's gonna work out. Oh... that's too bad. I'm... I'm sorry. Lou told me about you and Ty. Amy, I don't wanna give you advice. God knows I'm hardly qualified... but... I'd like you to promise me... that if you can't see your future without somebody in it... whether that's Ty or somebody else... you'll fight. You're strong. You get that from your mother. So promise me... fight for what's important. I promise. I love you. (Light kiss) I love you. Love you too, dad. I was looking at wedding rings today. Lisa: You were? Jack: No. (Laughs) That's mean! Do you really want me to wear a ring? No, no... of course not. Do you really want me to change my name? No, I don't. So you weren't upset the other day? No. Maybe. Well, just for a split second, and only because you mentioned Dan. What does Dan have to do with this? I don't know. (Chuckles) You didn't change your name for him. Well, I guess part of me thought that you... might wanna change it for me... and not because I expected you to, but... ju... just because... it's you and me and... we're somehow stronger as a couple and... I know, that sounds crazy. No. But only because there's no comparison to Dan. And I just... we don't need to change our names and... put on wedding rings to bind us together. We have more than that. So I'm always gonna be Lisa Stillman, your loving wife. (Chuckles) Yes. My loving, smart, incredibly beautiful wife... Lisa: Oh, yes. Both: (Chuckling) Hanna: Hi, Georgie! Georgie: Hey! I just wanted to tell you that my dad's keeping Lucas and Alexander. That's awesome! What about your brother? Hanna: Paul's been put in charge of keeping all the farm equipment up and running at the colony, so he's like a pig in mud. And as long as I get all of my weeding and picking done, I can visit the horses whenever I want. I'm so happy for you, Hanna. What're you doing right now? Well, I was gonna go ride Phoenix. Wanna come? I have a better idea. (Horses snort softly) (Clucks her tongue) Come on, Lucas! Alexander! Come on, Lucas! Come on, Alexander! Hanna and Georgie: (Laughing) Woo! (Laughing) (Wagon rattles, harness jingles) Hanna: Easy, boy, easy. (Horses snort) Go on! Giddy up! Alexander, Lucas, giddy up! Georgie: (Laughing) Hanna: Come on! Giddy up! Georgie and Hanna: (Laughing) Woo! (Ty sighs, chair scrapes back) (Phone beeps) (Beer bottle clunks) (Ty sighs, phone beeps) Hey, Amy. I, uh, just missed your call. I hope everything's okay. I know this might sound kinda weird, but uh... I actually had my hand inside a cow's abdomen today and it was... it was sort of incredible. Anyways, I just wanted to share that with you. Okay. (Phone beeps off) (Hooves thud softly, Phoenix snorts) Ty: Hey! Amy: Hey. I just called you back. I'm sorry, I... I called, but... then I thought I'd just drop by. I just left you a message. Should I... Should I listen to it? Ty: No, I'll just tell you what I said. ♪ When I am calling for you... You know what? Maybe it's better that you do listen to it. Okay. Like... right now? Yeah. ♪ If our timing is true... (Amy laughs, phone beeps off) So you had your hand inside a cow? Well, her abdomen. Not... not the other end. Right. Of course. It was a displaced abomasum. I-I actually untwisted her stomach. Wow. That's... That's incredible. Yeah. Sounds like you're doing really great. I am. I'm glad. ♪ It's not just deja vu well, I should probably um... get going. I gotta see Caleb and... Yeah. I should get him home anyway. It was really nice to see you. (Silence) ♪ And when the sun finally sank ♪ ♪ And we take our last breath ♪ We will be one and not two (crying) ♪ If our timing is true Announcer: On the next Heartland, meet Georgie's aunt. You've got no legal right to keep her away from me. I wanted to know about my mom. Announcer: Now, the fallout. What was she doing trick riding? Georgie is my daughter. Announcer: Heartland returns with an all new episode, Sunday November 23rd on CBC.

Plan: A: a Hutterite family; Q: Whose team of Percherons ran amok hayride? A: Hutterite; Q: What is the religion of the family that Amy struggles to help? A: Georgie; Q: Who forms a strong bond with the young Hutterite daughter? A: the mystery; Q: What does Georgie's bond with the Hutterite daughter help unravel? A: a fantastic time; Q: How did Tim feel about traveling with Casey? A: the rodeo circuit; Q: Where did Tim travel with Casey? A: their burgeoning relationship; Q: What does Tim begin to second-guess when he returns to Heartland? A: the clinic; Q: Where does Ty realize he wants to share his vet victory with Amy? A: Ty; Q: Who realizes that he wants to share the experience with Amy? A: a bittersweet triumph; Q: What does Ty's vet victory prove to be? A: Jack; Q: Who is forced to confront his traditional ideals when Lisa informs him that she has no intention of taking his name? Summary: Amy struggles to help a Hutterite family whose team of Percherons ran amok hayride. But Georgie forms a strong bond with the young Hutterite daughter who turns out to be the key to unraveling the mystery. While Tim admittedly had a fantastic time traveling the rodeo circuit with Casey, he returns to Heartland and begins to second-guess their burgeoning relationship. Meanwhile, back at the clinic, a significant vet victory for Ty proves to be a bittersweet triumph when he realizes that all he wants to do - is share the experience with Amy. And Jack is forced to confront his traditional ideals when Lisa informs him that she has no intention of taking his name.

CARNIVAL OF MONSTERS BY: ROBERT HOLMES 5:50pm - 6:15pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: EXT. INTER MINOR. SPACE PORT (NIGHT) (VORG is working on the scope. SHIRA shakes her head.) SHIRNA: The power's still dropping, Vorg. (PLETRAC steps forward.) PLETRAC: What are you doing? VORG: (Quietly.) I wish I knew. (VORG suddenly realises who is talking to him. He spins round.) VORG: Er, oh! Routine maintenance, your worship. (SHIRNA suddenly lets out a cry of fear and disgust. At her feet, a panel on the side of the scope opens and the tiny form of the DOCTOR staggers out and then falls to the floor. Now outside of the compression field, he starts to grow to full size watched by the horrified observers.) PLETRAC: (Panicking.) Eradicator detachment - stand by! (The returned functionaries start to prepare their weapon as the DOCTOR starts to stir.) SHIRNA: It's one of the Tellurians! PLETRAC: Hurry! It must be eradicated! (SHIRNA bends down to help the DOCTOR as he sits up groggily.) SHIRNA: Why? He hasn't done anything wrong. (To the DOCTOR.) Are you alright, dear? PLETRAC: Don't touch it! It's probably crawling with germs! (VORG pulls SHIRNA away.) VORG: He's right, Shirna. Come away - the thing must be destroyed! PLETRAC: Eradicator detachment - one charge, maximum intensity... (KALIK, with ORUM not far behind, steps between the eradicator and the still woozy DOCTOR.) KALIK: Wait! PLETRAC: Stand aside, Kalik. KALIK: This procedure is not in order. PLETRAC: Not in order? KALIK: The eradicator cannot be used without authority from the tribunal. PLETRAC: In an emergency, it's perfectly... KALIK: (Interrupts.) One alien...hardly constitutes an emergency. PLETRAC: The function of this tribunal is to keep this planet clean. This Tellurian creature comes from outside our solar system and is a possible carrier of contagion. (Now fully recovered, the DOCTOR gets to his feet.) PLETRAC: Furthermore the creature may be hostile. DOCTOR: Would you kindly stop referring to me as the "creature", sir, or I may well become exceedingly hostile! PLETRAC: Silence! This...tribunal is deliberating. DOCTOR: The tribunal is not deliberating. The tribunal is arguing. Quite nonsensically, if I may say so. PLETRAC: (Angrily.) The tribunal will not tolerate insolence from unauthorised lifeforms! DOCTOR: Will one of you kindly explain to me exactly where I am? Which planet, I mean? KALIK: You are on Inter Minor. DOCTOR: Inter Minor? What, not Metebelis Three, the famous blue planet of the Acteon galaxy? ORUM: Oh no. DOCTOR: I see. (He turns and sees a familiar shape.) DOCTOR: Oh, thank heavens the TARDIS is safe anyway. PLETRAC: This "container" is yours? DOCTOR: Yes, it is indeed. (He then sees the scope. Nearby, VORG is thoroughly enjoying the display of the DOCTOR'S authority over the Minorians.) DOCTOR: And oh yes! Just as I thought - a miniscope. (Angrily.) Now this is outrageous! Who is responsible for this device? (To PLETRAC.) Is it yours? PLETRAC: Certainly not! It is the property of this Lurman. The female is his assistant. (The DOCTOR looks at a grinning VORG who, in turn, gestures to SHIRNA. The DOCTOR bows to her. She simpers and giggles as the DOCTOR turns back to PLETRAC.) DOCTOR: And you sir, you are? (PLETRAC steps forward, desperately trying to re-assert his authority.) PLETRAC: Chairman Peltrac of the admissions tribunal. (ORUM speaks an aside to KALIK...) ORUM: One wonders why the tribunal is submitting to questioning by this creature. Shouldn't it be the other way round? DOCTOR: Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you gentlemen, but you are all in very serious trouble. ORUM: (To KALIK, laughing.) Really, one almost admires its audacity! DOCTOR: You are, I take it, the representatives of authority on this planet? PLETRAC: (Proudly.) One's authority comes direct from President Zarb himself. DOCTOR: Then you have allowed the importation and the operation of a machine that is expressly forbidden by intergalactic law. PLETRAC: (Haughtily.) One did not allow it! One has already ordered the deportation of the Lurmans and their machine. DOCTOR: But for the moment, the machine is here and it is in operation. Surely you'll scarcely deny that? PLETRAC: (Caught out.) Well...strictly speaking, one...must concede that, er, in a sense... DOCTOR: (Interrupts.) Then you are responsible, are you not? As a direct result of your carelessness, my young companion is trapped inside this machine, in a situation of extreme peril. PLETRAC: (Snaps.) Look, one is forced to remind you that the question before this tribunal is your own eradication as a menace to public health! DOCTOR: (Ignoring him.) If you will allow me...to rescue my young companion, and give what help I can to the rest of the unfortunates trapped in here, then I am prepared to overlook the entire matter. ORUM: One is indeed overwhelmed! DOCTOR: If not, then you'll just have to take the consequences. Let me know when you've made up your mind. (He moves over to inspect the scope. VORG and SHIRNA are delighted and impressed by the performance.) VORG: Marvellous, Shirna! What audacity, eh? Do you know, I do believe he's one of us? SHIRNA: One of us? He's a Tellurian. VORG: Of course, but I recognise the type. He's in the carnival business, I'm sure. I mean, look at his manner and look at his clothes. Don't forget that I've...I've worked many a Tellurian fairground. SHIRNA: You may be right. He's certainly got the style. VORG: Oh, I'd wager on it. He's got the measure of these grey-faced idiots right enough. (Nearby, the three Minorians are arguing...) KALIK: Personally speaking, one is against this whole thing. PLETRAC: One might have expected you to take that attitude, Kalik. Orum - are you for or against the use of the eradicator? ORUM: Against. KALIK: You are outvoted, Pletrac. PLETRAC: Very well. Eradicator detachment - stand down. (The functionaries step back from the weapon. The DOCTOR overhears this and steps up behind the momentarily alarmed Minorians.) DOCTOR: (Smiles.) Thank you for your timely intervention, sir. (He starts to walk away again.) PLETRAC: Wait! Where are you going? (The DOCTOR points back at the scope and smiles.) DOCTOR: Just over there! (He goes off without another word. PLETRAC bites his lip.) KALIK: You're very nervous, Pletrac? PLETRAC: (Quietly.) Not nervous so much as puzzled. What use is the Tellurian to you? KALIK: (Soothing.) Of no use. PLETRAC: You never do anything without a reason, Kalik. Why did you try to save the Tellurian's life? KALIK: Out of...mercy and compassion. Vorg will tell you. (Smiling, KALIK walks off, followed, as ever, by ORUM. PLETRAC is looking more and more suspicious. Nearby, an admiring VORG and SHIRNA watch the DOCTOR as he continues to work on the scope.) VORG: I bet he understands the palare. Listen to this. (Laughs.) SHIRNA: Eh? VORG: The Tellurian carnival lingo - watch. (He steps up to the DOCTOR.) VORG: Palare la carny? (The DOCTOR looks up, confused.) DOCTOR: I beg your pardon? VORG: Varda the Bona Palone? DOCTOR: I...I'm sorry, er... VORG: Niente dinari round here, y'jills. (VORG laughs. The DOCTOR speaks slowly and loudly...) DOCTOR: I...I must apologise. I...I'm afraid I do not understand your language. VORG: Oh, you understand alright! You're a showman, the same as me, ain't you? DOCTOR: Are you a showman, sir? VORG: Allow me to introduce myself. I am the great Vorg! (He gestures with an imperious finger in the air and then gestures to SHIRNA.) VORG: And this beautiful young lady is Shirna, my assistant. (The DOCTOR bows again.) DOCTOR: Delighted, Miss Shirna. I am the Doctor. VORG: "Doctor" - great title, you know. Doctors, Professors - always pulls 'em in. DOCTOR: Tell me, sir, are you in charge of this disgraceful device? VORG: Yes, why? Is something wrong? DOCTOR: Yes, something is very wrong. I too have an assistant, you know, and she's trapped inside this machine. Now somehow I've got to get her out. (He opens an inspection panel on the console.) VORG: Oh, Doctor, Doctor! I wouldn't put your hand in there. Those Drashigs can take a lump right out of you. DOCTOR: Drashigs? SHIRNA: They followed you out of the circuit. They're running wild inside there now. Doing terrible damage, aren't they, Vorg? VORG: Oh, they've broken through to statofields. Very soon, I'm going to lose the entire collection. DOCTOR: What, lose them? That would be a tragedy. VORG: You can say that again. My insurance doesn't cover the replacement of livestock. DOCTOR: (Furious.) Livestock! Now let me tell you, sir, that the people inside that ship are human beings. VORG: That's right - Tellurians, Ogrons, Drashigs - oh, marvellous collection. DOCTOR: The collection of the simplest animal lifeforms is a dubious enough pursuit in itself, sir. But the collection of civilised intelligent beings is a positive crime! Now let me warn you that I intend to put an end to this shameful business. VORG: Well, there's no need to get excited. It's putting an end to itself. DOCTOR: Huh? What does that mean? VORG: The scope's packing up. All the life support systems are going to break down soon. SHIRNA: Even on tickover, the power's almost down to critical. DOCTOR: How long will it last? VORG: Who knows? Can't be much longer. DOCTOR: (Urgently.) Well that means that every living creature in there will die, including my assistant! Now somehow, I've got to find a way of saving them! [SCENE_BREAK] 2: EXT. SS BERNICE. MAIN DECK (JO is hiding on the deck behind some of the ship's deck paraphernalia. She watches as ANDREWS and MAJOR DALY meet in their search.) JOHN ANDREWS: Have you seen her? MAJOR DALY: Not this side. JOHN ANDREWS: Well, she can't get away. We'll get a search party together and search the ship. (The two men move off, as does JO but in the opposite direction.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3: EXT. INTER MINOR. SPACE PORT (NIGHT) (ORUM gestures to KALIK to join him. He points over at the DOCTOR as he works on the scope, watched with an element of disinterest by VORG and SHIRNA.) ORUM: (Whispers.) What is the Tellurian doing? KALIK: Trying to rescue the other Tellurian, one imagines. ORUM: They are clearly social creatures. KALIK: Mmm, and harmless. ORUM: (Nervously.) Pletrac is growing suspicious. If he should decide to examine the eradicator, he will discover that...one has rendered it useless. KALIK: You worry too much, Orum. ORUM: President Zarb still decrees the death penalty for acts of treason! KALIK: Have you destroyed the part? ORUM: What part? KALIK: (Impatiently.) From the eradicator! ORUM: Oh, you mean the trizon? KALIK: Mmm. ORUM: Yes, it's here. (ORUM is about to hold the object up but KALIK stops him.) KALIK: We will conceal it in the Lurman's baggage, and then if anything should go wrong, one of us can always...discover it. ORUM: (Whispers.) Of course! Blame it on the Lurman. KALIK: (Smiling.) An alien spy and saboteur. [SCENE_BREAK] 4: INT. SS BERNICE. CARGO HOLD (JO enters the silent hold of the ship.) JO: Doctor? (She walks further into the hold.) JO: Doctor, you there? (She suddenly sees the hole torn by the Drashig, but...) JOHN ANDREWS: There she is! (She makes a run for the hole but an Indian sailor runs forward and grabs her. ANDREWS steps forward.) JOHN ANDREWS: Now then, Miss. JO: It's alright. I know the routine. (She allows herself to be led towards the door.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5: EXT. INTER MINOR. SPACE PORT (NIGHT) (The DOCTOR pokes his nose into the inspection hatch on top of the console of the scope. Alarmed, VORG scurries over to SHIRNA.) VORG: You know, Shirna, he could lose that nose of his... (He snaps his fingers.) VORG: ...just like that. (SHIRNA is suddenly alert.) SHIRNA: Vorg! (She nods towards the base of the scope where the panel by which the DOCTOR exited is starting to shake - as if something the other side was trying to push against it.) VORG: (Alarmed.) The Drashigs! SHIRNA: They've reached the outer hull! Vorg, if they get out, they'll expand to full size! VORG: Come on, it's time we left - come on! (He pulls her away from the area and into the part of the port with the cargo hatch. They run straight into PLETRAC.) PLETRAC: And where are you going? VORG: (Nervously.) Er, where are we going, yes. SHIRNA: Home? VORG: Home - we thought we'd take a shuttle out to the thruster base. PLETRAC: A transporter has been ordered for you. You will be taken, together with your machine, to the thruster base. VORG: (Nervously.) There's...there's no need to worry. I mean, we can find our own way. Don't bother. Er, you can keep the scope, your welcome to it. PLETRAC: You will remain here until the transporter arrives! The quarantine regulation on the conveyance of aliens is explicit. You will be taken to the thruster base in a transporter which we then be disinfected before further use! VORG: Disinfected? (PLETRAC pulls out his two-pronged hand weapon and starts to herd the two Lurmans back towards the area which contains the scope.) PLETRAC: Back! Back! Back! [SCENE_BREAK] 6: INT. SS BERNICE. MAJOR DALY'S CABIN (ANDREWS opens the door to MAJOR DALY'S cabin and the Indian sailor pushes JO inside.) JOHN ANDREWS: Now, Miss, I'm gonna lock you in here until... JO: (Interrupts.) Until the Captain can find time to see me. I know! JOHN ANDREWS: Right, sensible girl. (He pulls the door to and locks it. JO listens carefully and goes to the door with her own set of skeleton keys.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7: EXT. INTER MINOR. SPACE PORT (NIGHT) (The DOCTOR pulls a small burnt component out of the scope as, nearby, VORG and SHIRNA stand and watch nervously.) DOCTOR: Vorg? VORG: D...Doctor, I shouldn't stay too near the scope - the...the Drashigs, you know? DOCTOR: Yeah, listen, Vorg, I shall need your help. I've gotta get back inside this machine. VORG: (Shocked.) What? DOCTOR: Well, it's the only way I can get Jo out of there in time and save the rest of your livestock. But I shall need you to trigger the settings for me. VORG: Settings? DOCTOR: (Impatiently.) Look, this is your machine, isn't it? VORG: Well, of course it is, why? DOCTOR: Then I presume you know how it works? SHIRNA: He won it, Doctor. DOCTOR: He what? VORG: It was during the Great Wallarian Exhibition. SHIRNA: You know what gamblers the Wallarians are? Well, Vorg had the Magum pod concession. VORG: Surely you've seen it? I have three Magum pods and a Yarrow seed. You know, the quickness of the hand deceives the eye. You put the Yarrow seed under the middle pod... DOCTOR: (Interrupts.) Yes, yes, I have seen something similar. Y...you say you won this machine. And you haven't the faintest idea how it works? (VORG nods.) DOCTOR: I see. Well, look, t...this Wallarian that you got it from, did he by any chance give you a...a green or a blue disc - a thing about this big? (He holds a finger and thumb about two inches apart.) VORG: Oh, he gave me a lot of odds and ends. They're in my bag. I think there is something like that. DOCTOR: Well go and have a look, will you? It's very important. (VORG starts to search through their luggage.) SHIRNA: What's the idea, Doctor? DOCTOR: Well, it's simple really. You see, the scope's, er, omega circuit is broken. Now if I can link it to the TARDIS and use that as the master, I can re-programme the scope. SHIRNA: And what will that do? DOCTOR: Well, two things I hope. It'll enable me to get Jo out of here in time, and get her out of this wretched contraption, and it will return all the other lifeforms to their original space/time coordinates. SHIRNA: So they'll all get back to where they came from? DOCTOR: I sincerely hope so, yes. (VORG returns with the requested object.) VORG: Is this it? It's a bit mucky, I'm afraid. (He hands it to the DOCTOR who looks it over.) DOCTOR: Yes, that's it. Thank heavens you've kept it. Look, come with me and I'll tell you what I want you to do. (He leads them towards the TARDIS but thinks better of letting them enter.) DOCTOR: Erm, would you mind just waiting there for a moment? (He goes inside the TARDIS.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8: EXT. INTER MINOR. DESERT (NIGHT) (Just outside one of the archways that leads from the port, KALIK has been speaking to a group of four functionaries.) KALIK: (Quietly.) Now remember, do nothing until you get the signal - is that clear? (They grunt and nod.) KALIK: (Quietly.) Good. About your business - quickly. (They move off as ORUM comes up.) ORUM: (Whispers.) The transporter must arrive shortly. KALIK: (Quietly.) So, do you think my plan has failed? ORUM: Upon reflection, one is conscious of certain flaws. KALIK: Indeed? ORUM: One gathers the intention is the escape of these..."Drashigs" in order to cause a disaster that will reflect badly upon President Zarb and his regime. KALIK: Admirably put. ORUM: To this end, one has...sabotaged the eradicator in order to leave the city defenceless. KALIK: Precisely - the bigger the disaster, the better for us. ORUM: (Nervously.) Yes, but is it not possible that one might oneself become part of that disaster? KALIK: Mmm, there is a certain...minimal risk. (KALIK moves off.) ORUM: One has no wish to be devoured by alien monstrosities - even in the cause of political progress! (ORUM scurries after him. A functionary approaches and skirts the pair, moving off out of earshot. KALIK makes sure that they are not observed.) KALIK: (Quietly.) When the Drashigs burst from the machine, the city will be taken by surprise. We, on the other hand, will be ready to remove ourselves from the area of danger. ORUM: One trusts the removal will be speedy! According to that Lurman, the ferocity of the Drashigs is formidable! KALIK: No doubt he exaggerates. And, in any case, I'm sure that as commissioners of Inter Minor we shall prove to be more than a match for these, er, primitive lifeforms. (ORUM sighs.) KALIK: Have no fear, Orum. My plan will not fail! (He walks back into the space port and ORUM follows.) ORUM: Well, it will if the Drashigs don't escape! [SCENE_BREAK] 9: EXT. INTER MINOR. SPACE PORT (NIGHT) ORUM: And there's no sign of that. KALIK: Shh! (The calmer KALIK holds up a hand for silence. VORG and SHIRNA are working on a large piece of equipment that the DOCTOR has brought out of the TARDIS. The two Minorians can hear a faint knocking sound. Making sure that they are not observed by the Lurmans, they move nearer the scope and bend down. KALIK points to the slightly moving plate at the base of the machine.) KALIK: (Whispers.) Listen. ORUM: (Whispers.) They'll never break through those plates! They're molectic bonded disillum. KALIK: (Whispers.) Then perhaps one had...better give them a little help. [SCENE_BREAK] 10: INT. SS BERNICE. MAJOR DALY'S CABIN (JO succeeds in opening the cabin door.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11: INT. SS BERNICE. LOWER DECK PASSAGE OUTSIDE CABIN (She slowly steps out. She looks round and sets off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 12: EXT. INTER MINOR. SPACE PORT (NIGHT) (The DOCTOR has engineered an intricate set-up of machinery to carry out his plan, The device that VORG and SHIRA were working on before resembles a large junction box. This is connected by a series of thick cables to the TARDIS and with another set to the scope. The DOCTOR is finishing off the wiring.) VORG: Will it work, Doctor? DOCTOR: (Impatiently.) Yes, of course it'll work. VORG: Well, it's not very well insulated. DOCTOR: Then don't touch any bare metal. Right, now listen to me. (The DOCTOR points to a handle-switch that juts out of one side of the machine...) DOCTOR: This is the phase one switch here. (...and then to a second that juts out of the other side.) DOCTOR: And this is the phase two. Now don't touch the phase two until the last possible moment - do you understand? VORG: I've got that - phase one, phase two, yeah. DOCTOR: Good. (PLETRAC steps forward.) PLETRAC: What are you doing? SHIRNA: The Doctor's going back into the scope. (The DOCTOR gives her a look for babbling out his plan. She lowers her eyes.) PLETRAC: (To the DOCTOR, imperiously.) You will remain here! You came here illegally. Regulations demand that you be sent to the ICCA. DOCTOR: Mmm, what's the ICCA? VORG: The Inner Constellation Corrective Authority. You won't like it, Doctor. DOCTOR: Prison? PLETRAC: You are, by your own admission, a vagabond. DOCTOR: Oh yes...yes, very much so. (He looks at VORG who nods almost imperceptibly.) DOCTOR: Phase one. (VORG pushes down the handle. The DOCTOR, stood with his palms flat on the junction box, fades out of sight, utterly throwing PLETRAC.) PLETRAC: What? Er, stop! Er... (He pulls out his hand weapon and fires. The air oscillates and the junction box explodes.) VORG: Oh, n...oh no! SHIRNA: We'll never get him back now! [SCENE_BREAK] 13: INT. SCOPE WORKINGS (The DOCTOR materialises, miniaturised once more and flat on the floor of a circuit path. He is seemingly unconscious. He comes to and sits up. He clambers to his feet and sets off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14: EXT. INTER MINOR. SPACE PORT (NIGHT) (VORG is desperately trying to make sense of the wires within the junction box.) SHIRNA: Can you fix it? VORG: I don't know, I...all these wires! SHIRNA: Well, you must try. VORG: Well, I'm doing my best. SHIRNA: The Doctor's relying on us. VORG: Well, put your finger on there a minute, will you? (He points to a metal terminal.) SHIRNA: Here? (There is a fierce crackle and a spark. SHIRNA shrieks and snatches her hand back.) VORG: Good, that must be the live terminal. [SCENE_BREAK] 15: INT. SS BERNICE. CARGO HOLD (JO has made her way, unnoticed this time, back down to the hold. She carefully enters and goes to the ripped hole that she saw last time.) [SCENE_BREAK] 16: INT. SCOPE WORKINGS (She calls into the workings.) JO: Doctor? Doctor, can you hear me? (There is no reply as her voice echoes round. She seems to give up.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17: INT. SS BERNICE. CARGO HOLD (She is lost in thought as, suddenly, the DOCTOR'S voice calls out to her...) DOCTOR: (OOV.) Jo? Jo, is that you? (She looks back into the workings and sees the DOCTOR appear across the circuits.) JO: Doctor! Doctor, where've you been? DOCTOR: Look, stop asking silly questions and come on! [SCENE_BREAK] 18: INT. SCOPE WORKINGS (Delighted, she jumps through the ripped hole, up and cross the circuits and joins him.) JO: Doctor! (They run off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 19: EXT. INTER MINOR. SPACE PORT (NIGHT) (As VORG continues his repairs, SHIRNA looks through a toolbag.) VORG: Haven't you found that sprock yet? SHIRNA: I think you've lost that too. VORG: Oh. (They fail to see KALIK on the other side of the scope as he tries to free the plate. ORUM runs up to him.) ORUM: (Whispers, urgently.) We'll have to hurry, Kalik! The transporters due! KALIK: (Whispers.) Keep Pletrac busy! ORUM: (Whispers.) One will try! KALIK: (Whispers.) Orum! (He hands ORUM his hand weapon to use if necessary. ORUM takes it with some reluctance and moves off. Meanwhile, SHIRNA lifts up the unit from the eradicator which has been deposited in their toolbag.) SHIRNA: Is this part of something, Vorg? VORG: Mmm? (He takes the metal and plastic unit.) VORG: Where'd you get that? SHIRNA: I found it in your bag. Do you know what it is? VORG: Ha! I haven't seen one of these since my national service days. (VORG doesn't notice that a humming tone is coming from the scope.) VORG: The old fourteenth heavy lasers. Oh, what an outfit! Our battery sergeant was a Crustasoid mercenary... SHIRNA: (Interrupts.) Vorg! The power's almost down to critical! Is the phase two switch ready? VORG: Well, it won't be long. I've just got to fix this junction box. [SCENE_BREAK] 20: INT. SCOPE WORKINGS (Within the scope things are getting critical. As the power starts to run down, the chamber of circuits fills with smoke. The DOCTOR tries to pull JO up a circuit. She gasps with the lack of air.) DOCTOR: Come on, Jo. JO: (Gasping.) I can't... DOCTOR: Come on! JO: (Gasping.) ...get...get...my breath! DOCTOR: Come on, the circuits are going! JO: (Gasping.) I can't... DOCTOR: Come on, Jo! Come on, one last effort, we're nearly there. [SCENE_BREAK] 21: INT. SS BERNICE. PASSENGER SALOON (The effect is the same on the "SS Bernice". CLAIRE staggers into the saloon, holding onto the walls for support.) CLAIRE DALY: Daddy... MAJOR DALY: Claire...oh... CLAIRE DALY: Oh, I... MAJOR DALY: My dear... (She falls into the MAJOR'S arms as ANDREWS, also struggling, comes into the saloon.) JOHN ANDREWS: What's the matter? MAJOR DALY: Give us a hand. (They lay CLAIRE on a seat.) MAJOR DALY: It's heat exhaustion. I should never have brought her out here. (The MAJOR himself falls back unconscious on a padded bench. As CLAIRE breathes faintly, ANDREWS falls to the floor.) [SCENE_BREAK] 22: EXT. INTER MINOR. DESERT (NIGHT) (Just outside the port, ORUM "runs into" the returning PLETRAC.) ORUM: Ah, the transporter has arrived at last! PLETRAC: Yes, it is time to get these aliens aboard. (PLETRAC tries to step past ORUM but the Minorian side-steps and gets in his way again.) ORUM: Why was it delayed? PLETRAC: One understands that the functionaries at the transporter depot are refusing to work double shifts. (Again they both side-step...) ORUM: What impudence! PLETRAC: Yes, the functionaries are getting above themselves. We live in troubled times. (...and again.) PLETRAC: Oh, do get out of the way, Orum! (ORUM, holding KALIK'S weapon but too scared to use it, finally moves aside. PLETRAC takes his first steps towards the port when he hears the roar of a Drashig and a scream of terror from KALIK. He looks in horror at ORUM and moves off.) [SCENE_BREAK] 23: EXT. INTER MINOR. SPACE PORT (NIGHT) (Within the port, VORG and SHIRNA back off in terror as the Drashig rears above KALIK. He runs across the port but the Drashig pursues him.) KALIK: No, no, no, no! (PLETRAC yells an order at the functionaries.) PLETRAC: Quick, the eradicator! (They however have different ideas and run off. PLETRAC shows surprising bravery and takes over the gun himself. He presses the trigger several times but there is no response.) PLETRAC: Sabotage! Run for your lives! (He does so. Realising what he holds, VORG himself runs for the eradicator as the Drashig continues to roar.) VORG: This way! (He plugs the unit into the underside of the barrel of the eradicator.) [SCENE_BREAK] 24: EXT. INTER MINOR. DESERT (NIGHT) (Outside, KALIK falls back as the Drashig plunges down at him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 25: EXT. INTER MINOR. SPACE PORT (NIGHT) SHIRNA: Vorg, look here! (She points through the archway at the Drashig. He swings the gun round and fires. The red glow surrounds the creature's head and it falls to the ground, dead. Another Drashig has escaped from the scope and roars directly over the two Lurmans.) SHIRNA: Look out! (VORG swings the gun round and fires again.) [SCENE_BREAK] 26: INT. SCOPE WORKINGS (Their steps slow and turgid, the DOCTOR and JO stumble their way along a circuit. Unable to go on, they fall to the floor. The DOCTOR gasps...) DOCTOR: Vorg...Vorg...the phase two switch... [SCENE_BREAK] 27: INT. SS BERNICE. PASSENGER SALOON (The occupants of the saloon cabin are totally unconscious.) [SCENE_BREAK] 28: EXT. INTER MINOR. SPACE PORT (NIGHT) (VORG and SHIRNA look over the dead smoking Drashig.) VORG: Well, that's that. SHIRNA: Well, what about the Doctor? VORG: Oh, it must be too late. SHIRNA: Well, we can try. VORG: (Shrugs.) If you like. (He approaches the junction box and pushes the phase two handle down. He glances at the front of the box.) VORG: No, it's no use. The power's completely gone. (SHIRNA sighs.) VORG: No, no, wait a minute! (Suddenly, a hum of power is heard from the machine. VORG pushes the handle fully down.) [SCENE_BREAK] 29: EXT. MARSH (A lone Drashig, still in its swamp, vanishes.) [SCENE_BREAK] 30: EXT. OCEAN (The entire "SS Bernice" also fades away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 31: INT. SCOPE WORKINGS (The DOCTOR and JO, still and unconscious, fade from view.) [SCENE_BREAK] 32: EXT. INTER MINOR. SPACE PORT (NIGHT) (The junction box is starting to run away and the scope's glowsphere is flaring with light.) VORG: I'll have to switch it off. SHIRNA: But, you can't! (The scope's glowsphere explodes. It is now just a melted mass sat on top of the ruined console unit.) VORG: Well, that's it then. SHIRNA: No, wait! (She looks at the floor and sees a full-sized DOCTOR and JO fade into view.) VORG: It worked! (The two start to stir. The DOCTOR pushes himself up.) DOCTOR: Hello, Vorg. Well, you cut that a bit fine didn't you? (He gets to his feet.) VORG: Oh, we had a spot of bother here. (JO starts to come round.) JO: Doctor...Doctor... DOCTOR: It's alright, Jo. It's alright, Jo, we've made it. (He helps her to her feet. JO looks round her new surroundings.) JO: Well, where are the others? DOCTOR: Others? JO: Well, yes - on the ship? DOCTOR: Well, I reversed the original settings and linked them to the TARDIS, so they should still be on the ship. JO: But...back in 1926 in the Indian Ocean? DOCTOR: Yes, exactly. [SCENE_BREAK] 33: INT. SS BERNICE. MAJOR DALY'S CABIN (NIGHT) (The MAJOR lies in his pyjamas in bed. Their time loop broken, his finally finishes his book closes the cover. There is a knock on the door.) MAJOR DALY: Who is it? (CLAIRE comes in.) CLAIRE DALY: Only me. I didn't wake you, did I? MAJOR DALY: Course not. CLAIRE DALY: I wouldn't want to wake you just to say goodnight. (She sits on the end of the bed.) MAJOR DALY: Been reading. CLAIRE DALY: Have you finished it? MAJOR DALY: Yeah...seems like the longest book I've ever read in me life. CLAIRE DALY: It does seem to have been a long trip somehow. (Suddenly she frowns, again as if she had a slight memory of events...) CLAIRE DALY: Daddy! MAJOR DALY: Mmm? (She thinks a moment more, then sighs.) CLAIRE DALY: Oh...nothing. MAJOR DALY: Disappointing ending, you know? Fellow became a missionary. I thought he was going to marry her. CLAIRE DALY: (Laughs.) Oh, you are an old romantic, aren't you, daddy? I'll bet half your stories about the east are just romances. MAJOR DALY: You'll see for yourself tomorrow, Claire - Bombay! CLAIRE DALY: Mmm, I'm looking forward to that. MAJOR DALY: Mmm, don't think young Andrews is though! (Laughs.) CLAIRE DALY: That's what I mean, you see - romantic! Good night, daddy. (She gets up and gives her father a kiss.) MAJOR DALY: Goodnight, my child. Sleep well. (She leaves the cabin. The MAJOR yawns and picks up a pencil. On his bedside calendar, he is finally able to put a cross through Tuesday 4th June 1926.) [SCENE_BREAK] 34: EXT. INTER MINOR. SPACE PORT (NIGHT) (As the DOCTOR and JO wheel the junction box back into the TARDIS, VORG is at the eradicator, watched by a bored SHIRNA, as he regales PLETRAC with the story of his bravery.) VORG: There was this second monster, barreling in at ninety degrees, practically breathing down my neck, and I swung like this, see, keeping low and I gave him a quick burst right in the vitals! That shot it was! (PLETRAC nervously pushes the pointed eradicator away from himself.) PLETRAC: (Smiles.) We are all extremely grateful to you. Your valour will not be forgotten. VORG: (Smiles.) Well, it's my natural reaction to stand and fight, you know. PLETRAC: (Smiles.) Our president will almost certainly wish to honour our Lurman guests for their courageous action. VORG: Some form of, er, decoration perhaps? SHIRNA: But how are we going to live? The scope's had it, and we haven't a credit bar to our name. VORG: You leave that to me, my dear. I say, Pletrac, old man, er, let me show you a little trick. (He puts a hand on PLETRAC'S shoulder, to a flinch of disgust from the Minorian. VORG takes his hand back.) VORG: I'm so sorry. (VORG, the showman, starts to put the tools of his trade on the standing end of one of their pieces of luggage.) VORG: Now, I have here three Magum Pods and a Yarrow seed. Right? Now, I place the Yarrow seed under the middle pod, like so. PLETRAC: Mmm hmm. VORG: Now, I move them very very slowly, now watch. (He moves the three covering shell-like pods round.) PLETRAC: Yes. (The DOCTOR and JO have come back out of the TARDIS and are watching. The DOCTOR whispers something to JO.) VORG: Watch carefully. Are you watching? You tell me which pod you think the seed is under. PLETRAC: (Confidently.) The middle one. VORG: The middle one. Er, you wouldn't like to wager say, er, a couple of credit bars on your judgement, would you? (SHIRNA shakes her head to herself.) PLETRAC: Certainly. One will wager two credit bars that the seed is under the middle pod. Ha! One can hardly discount the evidence of one's eyes. (VORG puts down two blue-tipped metal bars down as his part of the wager and lifts the middle pod. Underneath it is, of course, nothing.) VORG: Oh...you're unlucky. PLETRAC: One was obviously too hasty. One will not make the same mistake a second time. VORG: Another little wager? PLETRAC: Five credit bars, er, no - ten! VORG: Whatever you say, Pletrac! (Laughs.) (PLETRAC hands over a yellow tipped metal bar to a delighted VORG.) VORG: Thank you. You know, I'm going to like it here! You remind me of the Wallarians, you know? They're great sportsmen too! (Laughs.) There we are. DOCTOR: (To JO.) I don't think we need worry too much about our friend, Vorg. (She smiles and nods.) VORG: (To PLETRAC.) Now, this is the one, right? PLETRAC: (To VORG.) Indeed. JO: (To the DOCTOR.) I think he'll probably wind up president. (The DOCTOR and JO laugh and he gestures for her to enter the TARDIS.) VORG: (To PLETRAC.) Watch carefully. PLETRAC: One watches. VORG: I move them very, very slowly like that. Now, keep watching. Now you tell me...which pod you think the seed is under. PLETRAC: Er... VORG: I'm giving you a chance to... (He is interrupted as the TARDIS engines echo round the port. They all look up in surprise as the blue box fades away. SHIRNA smiles...)

Plan: A: The Doctor; Q: Who escapes from the Scope? A: Vorg; Q: Who does the Doctor join forces with to try to save the Scope? A: its inhabitants; Q: What does the Doctor want to save from the Scope? A: Kalik; Q: Who is determined to use the Drashigs to start a rebellion? Summary: The Doctor escapes from the Scope and joins forces with Vorg to try and save its inhabitants but Kalik is still determined to use the Drashigs to start a rebellion.

[Scene: Magic School. Paige, Miss Donovan and a gnome are there. Miss Donovan and the gnome are going through some books.] Miss Donovan: Lord of the Rings? Gnome: Historically inaccurate. Miss Donovan: Harry Potter? Gnome: Filled with juvenile delinquents. Miss Donovan: Even the Wizard of Oz? Gnome: Disparaging to little people. Munchkins being persecuted. Filth! Paige: Oh, come on, seriously. Miss Donovan: It is the same story with all the books. None of them deserve to be banned. Gnome: I suppose you want another naked Godiva riding out of the book again. Paige: Is that what this is all about? Godiva? Miss Donovan: It's just an excuse and he knows it. He's using it to push his own agenda which is to stifle freedom of speech. (The gnome shakes his hand and Miss Donovan's mouth seals up.) Gnome: Now that's what I call stifling. Paige: That is uncalled for. You give her her mouth back now. (He waves his hand and unseals her mouth.) Miss Donovan: Why you little worm. I should... Gnome: Little. Did you hear that? She's a size-ist. Miss Donovan: What? I didn't... Paige: Okay, Miss Donovan, would you please just give us a moment, okay? (Miss Donovan sighs and leaves the room.) Gnome: It's always the ones you least expect. Paige: Professor, please, you have to understand she is a librarian. Books are her life. In fact, I don't think she's wrong. None of these books are dangerous. (Paige picks up a book.) Crossed, Double-Crossed? This doesn't even look magical. Gnome: Just look at the cover. It's filled with violence, I'm sure. Paige: You haven't even read that? Gnome: Didn't waste my time. It's garbage. Paige: Are you kidding me? The 30's were a fabulous era, okay? Drama, passion, intrigue. (Leo walks in.) Leo: Uh, excuse me, Paige, sorry. Can I talk to you for a minute? Paige: Just a minute. Professor, the next time you attempt to ban books, how about you attempt reading some. (Paige leaves the room with Leo. The gnome picks up the Crossed Double-Crossed book and opens it up. The book glows and sucks the gnome inside. The book drops to the floor.) [Cut to Paige's Office. Paige and Leo walk in.] Paige: Thank you for saving me from that little gnome. I was about to strangle him. Leo: You're welcome. How'd you like to return the favour by, say, babysitting tonight? Paige: Um, no. That's all I do here, Leo. I baby-sit. I baby-sit students, I baby-sit teachers, I baby-sit. Leo: Come on, Paige, please? It's the only way Piper will go out with me if I can get somebody to watch the kids. Paige: You asked Piper out and she said yes? Leo: Well, I haven't actually asked her out yet. She's been a little unapproachable lately. Paige: Maybe it's because you've kind of done this miraculous turn around. Maybe you should just ease into things a little. Leo: Well, that's why the date. Phoebe's been helping me plan it out. She's given me some tips. Come on, please. Paige: I don't want to. I just don't. Leo: Thanks, you're the best. (Leo orbs out.) Paige: Leo. (Paige hears a scream.) [Cut to the hall. Miss Donovan is there. Paige walks in.] Paige: What is it? What's wrong? (Paige sees the gnome dead on the floor with bullet holes in his chest.) What happened? Miss Donovan: I don't know. Opening Credits [Scene: Magic School. Miss Donovan is sitting on a couch crying. Paige hands her a box of tissues.] Paige: Miss Donovan, are you sure you didn't hear anything, see anything? Miss Donovan: No, and I came in and he was lying there, dead. Paige: Okay, what is so strange about this, is that Magic School is meant to be protected. Nobody can get killed here, let alone with bullets. Miss Donovan: Well, well, it did happen before. Once. Paige: What? What happened? Miss Donovan: Well, about 20 years ago, there was two students, brothers. One of them killed the other. Maybe it's him? (Phoebe walks in.) Phoebe: Okay, let's make this fast. I got a city of lonely people and I'm playing cupid. Oh, Miss Donovan, why are you crying? Paige: It's one of our teachers. He... Phoebe: Oh, did he break your heart? Well, you called the right person. I can handle this. Paige: No... Phoebe: Shh. Cupid works alone. Now, did he hurt you? I know, I know, it hurts but you can't give up on love. It could be the biggest mistake you ever make. Now, I could fix you up with one of my readers because I'm doing this series in my newspaper where I'm playing matchmaker. And I actually have one in mind for you. Paige: Wait. He didn't break her heart he was murdered. Phoebe: Oh. Why didn't you tell me that? Paige: I tried to but cupid shushed me. Miss Donovan, until we figure out what is going on here and who did this, nobody can leave the school. Miss Donovan: I didn't kill him. Paige: Then I'm sure you don't mind staying until we figure out who did. Crystals, circle. (Three crystals orb off the side table and orb onto the floor around Miss Donovan to create a shield.) Let's go talk in the other room. Phoebe: Okay. (Phoebe and Paige walk out of the room.) So what do you think, Nancy Drew? Lovers quarrel? Paige: Hardly. She hated him. Everybody did. That means the entire school is a suspect. (They walk into the great hall.) Phoebe: Wait, a gnome was shot? That seems awfully human, doesn't it? Paige: Yeah. I'd say we are definitely out of our league. We don't do bullets. We need to call the police. Phoebe: Did you try Darryl? Paige: I tried, he hung up on me again. Look, the way he feels about magic he's not coming here anytime soon. Phoebe: So I guess we're on our own. Paige: We could try Kyle. Phoebe: What, Brody? You wanna tell Brody about the Magic School now? Paige: There isn't gonna be a Magic School if the Elders find out there was a murder on my watch. So we need to solve this fast. Phoebe: Yeah, but Brody? Paige: Kyle. Phoebe: Okay, look, I'm sorry, I really am, and I tried, I did. But I don't trust him, therefore I'm gonna continue calling him Brody and you can call him Kyle because you have a crush on him. Paige: I do not have a crush on him. My interest is strictly professional. Phoebe: Right. Paige: Listen, I am the head mistress of this school, okay, so I decide and I trust him, I need him to do the CSI part of this. Can you please get Piper, check the book and you do the magical part. Phoebe: What about the whole date I planned for Piper? Did Leo tell you about the roses? The roses are great. Paige: Home! (Paige orbs Phoebe out.) [Scene: P3. Piper is there wiping some glasses. It suddenly turns into a rose. Then dozens of vases of roses suddenly appear around the bar.] Piper: All right, what's going on? Leo's Voice: Do you like them? (Piper turns around to see Leo walking down the stairs.) Piper: Leo, what if somebody saw this? Leo: I sensed. There's nobody here. (He walks over to her.) Nobody except the most beautiful woman in the world. Piper: Have you been on top of the bridge again lately? Because I'm telling you, there's not enough oxygen up there. Leo: It's not that. I'm just starting to see things more clearly now. And the thing I see most clear is you. I want us to start over again. Piper: Uh, like right now? As in today? Leo: Why wait? I'm not asking for much, just have dinner with me tonight. Piper: Um, I can't. Who's gonna watch the kids? Leo: Paige. And don't worry about the club, Rex said he can handle it. Piper: You talked to my manager before you talked to me? Leo: Well, I wanted your mind to be at ease. Piper: Yeah, that's not really working. Leo: Don't you want to be with me again? Piper: No, of course I do, it's just... Leo: It's just what? Piper: It's just different, you know. I've spent months trying to keep you from falling into this psychotic abyss and now that you're fine, I can't just flick a switch and be all lovey-dovey. I doesn't work that way. (The phone rings and Piper answers it.) Hello? Yeah, okay, I'm on my way. What? They're beautiful, Phoebe, now stay out of it. (She hangs up.) Leo: She's just trying to help. Piper: Yeah, I know. Look, Leo, I appreciate the gesture, I do, and I'm not saying no, I'm just saying I need some time. Leo: I understand. (Piper leaves. Alpha and Beta, a female Avatar, appear.) Alpha: The roses are lovely. Beta: But you could do so much more with our collective powers. Leo: What's the point if I don't get Piper back? Alpha: I thought we had shown you the point, Leo. A world beyond good and evil. A world without conflict. Leo: Without Piper. Beta: In time she may return but for now you must embrace your new life as an Avatar and help the sisters into the fold. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Brody's Apartment. Brody lets Paige into the apartment.] Brody: Come in. (She looks at the messy room.) Paige: Wow. Obsess much about the Avatars? Brody: Yeah. It's pretty much all I've been able to think about since we found out what they were called. I've been looking for a break like this for a while. Paige: Did you find anything new about them? Brody: No, not really. Just, you know, pieces. Not enough to figure out how to find them or what they want. Paige: Um, when was the last time you got out of here? Brody: A couple of days. Paige: Well, how about coming out with me and getting some nice fresh air. Brody: No, thanks. I really think I should, um... Paige: I think that you should come with me and focus on something equally mysterious. Brody: Yeah, like what? Paige: Like a murder mystery. We could really use your help. Brody: Paige, come on, you know I didn't come here for that. Paige: I know. But if you help us, I can let you take a little peek at Magic School. [Scene: Manor. Attic. Phoebe is there flipping through the Book of Shadows. Piper walks in.] Piper: All right, talk to me. Phoebe: Okay, well, just so you know, the flowers were totally Leo's idea. It was just my idea to get a lot of them and to have you walk in... Piper: I was talking about the gnome, not the husband. Phoebe: Oh, right, of course. Um, well, according to the book, they don't have any natural enemies but as a species they tend to piss people off. Piper: But you said he was shot. Who would shoot a gnome? And why is the G silent? Phoebe: That's a really good question. I think the fact that he was shot in Magic School is what worries Paige the most. Piper: I don't blame her. The boys aren't still there, are they? Phoebe: No, she brought them back, they're taking they're naps. Piper: I'm just getting really tired of this. Phoebe: Don't worry, we'll figure out who killed him. Piper: No, not the gnome, the husband. Phoebe: Oh, I can't keep up. He's just trying to reconnect with you, you know that, right? Piper: No, I know, I do, and I would like to do that as well, just, I don't know, I can't help but think... Phoebe: Your guard's up. Piper: Yeah, and... Phoebe: You wanna lower it, you just can't. Piper: But still, I... Phoebe: Feel vulnerable and don't want to get hurt again. Piper: Uh, could I possibly have a chance to express my feelings? Phoebe: Oh, yeah, sure, go ahead. Piper: I don't know what to do. I mean, he's been great, he's been really great and he's totally changed but I can't help but feel that something's just not right. It's too good to be true. But then I can't just shut up and be happy, right? [Scene: Magic School. Miss Donovan is there reading a book. Paige orbs in with Brody.] Miss Donovan: Well, it's about time. Paige: Sorry, sorry we took so long. Miss Donovan: Who's this? Brody: Uh, Agent Brody. Homeland Security. (He holds out his hand to shake hers and touches the crystal cage. It zaps him and he flies backwards.) Paige: Ooh. Sorry, forgot to warn you about that. (He groans.) You okay? Brody: No, I'm not. (He stands up.) So what is she? A demon, warlock or what? Miss Donovan: No. I'm a librarian. Paige: And a suspect unless you say otherwise. (Paige picks up a crystal.) All clear. (Brody picks up a book and holds it out towards Miss Donovan.) Brody: Yeah. Just checking. All right. (He opens a suitcase and puts on some rubber gloves.) If you could hold out your hands for me, please. Miss Donovan: Why? What are you gonna do? Brody: Well, if you fired a gun recently, this'll show the residue. (She holds out her hands.) Miss Donovan: I'm telling you it had to be the Mullen boy. Paige: Who? Miss Donovan: Eddie Mullen. I remember his name now. The kid who shot his brother 20 years ago here. Paige: Okay, but how and why would this person come back? Miss Donovan: I don't know. Brody: Well, she's... she's clean. She couldn't have done it. Miss Donovan: Thank you. Paige: Sorry about that. Can you do me a huge favour and find out everything you can about the Mullen brothers. And keep it quiet because I really don't want the Elders to find out. Miss Donovan: Very well. Paige: Thanks. (Miss Donovan leaves the room.) Brody: Where's the body? (They walk into the great hall.) Whoa. All these books on magic? Paige: Yes, they are. Brody: Any of them on the Avatars? Paige: I don't know but I'll let you look at all of them if you help me out with this. (They stand in front of the gnome.) Brody: Oh. What is he? Paige: He is a gnome. And one of my teachers. Brody: Gnome. Great. Now I suppose you're gonna tell me leprechauns and fairies exist now too? Paige: Well, actually, yeah. Brody: Never mind. I can only take so much at a time. (He kneels down beside the gnome.) Well, the body was moved, he wasn't shot here. Paige: How do you know? Brody: There's no blood spatter on the floor. (He picks the book off the floor.) "Crossed, Double-Crossed". (He stands next to Paige.) By the Mullen... the Mullen brothers. Paige: Mullen brothers? (Brody flips through the book and turns to a chapter.) It's not finished. Brody: "The streets were quiet after Shorty died. Too quiet." Paige: Shorty. Close the book. Brody: What? Why? (The book glows and sucks them into it. The book falls to the floor and closes.) [Cut to inside the book. It's the 1930's. Everything is in black and white. Paige and Brody appear in the middle of the street.] Brody: What happened? Where are we? (A car horn honks and heads straight for them. Brody grabs Paige and pulls her to the sidewalk.) Paige: Oh, god, I think we got sucked into the book just like the gnome. Brody: Sucked into the book? Paige: Oh, yeah, don't worry, magical things happen to us all the time but this is the first time in black and white. Brody: We're not black and... How are we in black and white? Paige, what the hell is going on here? (Two men in suits walk up to them.) Man #1: Well, well, what do we have here? A couple of new couples. Brody: Oh, man, you gotta be kidding me. Man #1: Pals of Shorty's? Paige: The gnome. Let me handle this. Yeah, maybe we are. What's it to you? Man #1: Don't get wise with me, Legs. You're here for the same reason Shorty was. Looking for the falcon, ain't ya? But it belongs to Johnny. Brody: Hey, look, guys, I think you've got us confused with somebody else. Man #1: I don't think so. (He pulls out his gun. Brody pulls out his gun and shoots at the two men.) Brody: Orb us out of here, Paige. Paige: I can't, my powers won't work. Brody: Just run. Come on, run. (Paige and Brody run down the street. The two men shoot at them.) [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Inside the Book. Bogey's Apparel. Paige and Brody are changing into 1930's clothing. Paige is behind a changing screen.] Brody: You turned me into a felon, you know that, right? Breaking and entering, vandalism, theft. Paige: It's a fiction story in a fiction world. I highly doubt we're breaking any laws. Brody: It may be a fiction world but those bullets seemed pretty damn real to me. Paige: Yeah, well, that's precisely why we need to blend in before those goons come to get us again. (She reaches out and grabs a dress. She looks at Brody.) Are you peaking? Brody: No. Are you? (She pulls a face.) Have we any chance of getting out of here like the gnome did, only alive? Paige: I don't know, I think the book expelled him after he was killed. The same thing must've happened to the Mullen boy. Brody: Wait a minute, I thought he was killed by his brother. Paige: Well, I think everybody thought that because they disappeared at the same exact time. Maybe he's still here. Brody: Well, we gotta find him then. If he wrote the thing, he's gotta know how to get out of here, right? Paige: Although, if he does know, why wouldn't he have left? I mean, it's been 20 years. Brody: I don't know. I don't know. I mean, if we find him, maybe he can, uh, you know... (Paige walks out from behind the changing screen wearing a dress.) We can, uh... wow. You look great. Paige: Thank you. Do I look like Lana Turner. Brody: Right out of "The Postman Always Rings Twice". The good version. You know, um, you may not blend in very well in that outfit there, Lana. Paige: Well, I'm thinking as long as we're down here we might as well have some fun. (He looks through a phonebook.) Brody: Yeah, well, you have fun, I'm just gonna survive. Here it is, Mullen. (They hear sirens outside.) You think they're coming after us? Paige: I don't think we should stick around and find out. Brody: Come on, out the window. Let's go. (They go to the window.) I got it. (He opens the window and they climb out. Man #1 kicks open the door.) Man #1: Go around back, try and pinch them. You think they're after the falcon? Man #2: Isn't everybody? But if they think they're gonna get it before we do, they got another thing coming. [Scene: Magic School. Great Hall. Piper, Phoebe and Miss Donovan are there.] Miss Donovan: I'm telling you, I don't know where Paige is. I haven't seen her since she sent me to get these files. Phoebe: But you were her prime suspect. How did you get out of the cage? Miss Donovan: Well, she let me out after her cop friend exonerated me. Piper: Darryl? Phoebe: Brody. Piper: She brought him here? Miss Donovan: He wanted to see the body. That's why they came this way. That's odd. Phoebe: What's odd? Miss Donovan: That book, it's been moved. (Phoebe picks up the book and gets a premonition.) Piper: What? What did you see? Phoebe: I saw Paige on the best seller list. She's in this book. They both are. Piper: Well, what do you mean? Open it up, get them out. Phoebe: No, I can't. What if it sucks us in there too? Oh, god, we need Leo. Piper: Leo? Phoebe: Look, Piper, I know you need time but I don't think we have it. At least Leo will be able to sense them to make sure they're okay. Piper: All right, all right. Phoebe: Okay. Uh, but we should do this at home in case we need the Book of Shadows to get them out. (to Miss Donovan) Can you watch Wyatt and Chris? Miss Donovan: Oh, sure, of course. Oh, but take these. (She hands them a file.) They're the Mullen brothers' school records. It might help. Piper: The Mullen brothers? Who are they? [Scene: Inside the Book. Paige and Brody are standing in front of a door that reads "Mullen Bros. Detective Agency".] Paige: They're dicks. (Brody chuckles.) Brody: Dicks. Paige: No, like private eyes, detectives. Don't you see? They wrote themselves in as the heroes of their own book. Like Sam Spade or Phillip Marlow. (They walk into the office. Johnny and Eddie are there.) Paige: Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. Johnny: The newcomers? Eddie, I thought you said you didn't know 'em. Eddie: Um, I don't. I've never seen them before in my life. Brody: Wait a minute. You're Eddie? Eddie: You got a problem with that? Paige: No, we were just expecting somebody older. Johnny: You like older, toots? Take a gander my way. Brody: Hey, why don't you gander somewhere else, buddy. Who are you? Johnny: My name's Johnny. Johnny the Gent. I think you made the acquaintance of a few of my boys. Brody: Johnny, right. Yeah, I think they dropped your name in between Tommy gun blasts. Johnny: Simple misunderstanding. Everyone's on edge on account of the falcon. Paige: The falcon as in the Maltese falcon? Eddie: Nah, everyone knows the Maltese was a fake. This one's the real deal. The Burmese falcon. Brody: Burmese, you can't be serious. It's a total rip off. Johnny: Rip off or no, I figure that's why you're here. You don't happen to know where it is, would ya? Paige: Maybe we do but that's between us and Eddie. We have business to discuss. Alone. Eddie: Thanks, I got enough business. Paige: No, please, you're the only one who can help us. See, we came from your school. We just can't seem to find our way back. Johnny: Be polite, Eddie. Here 'em out. Besides, it might be lucrative. (Johnny heads for the door.) I'll be in touch. (Johnny leaves.) Eddie: In all the books, in all the libraries, in all the world, you gotta get sucked into this one? (They walk into another room.) Brody: You don't seem too happy to see us. Eddie: Well, should I be? (Eddie picks up a cigarette.) Paige: What are you doing? Don't you know those things'll kill you? Eddie: If the smokes don't get me, the bullets will. Paige: Just like they got your brother? Brody: Look, what happened, Eddie? Who killed him? Eddie: It was a couple of corrupt cops. They were trying to stop him from getting the falcon before they did. Paige: Falcon? What is it with this falcon? Why does everyone want it so badly? Eddie: Because we wrote them that way, that's why. It's their whole motivation. Paige: Very impressive. Quite a magical world you boys have concocted here. Must have been very advanced students. Eddie: Dan was the creative one. It was his idea, I was just along for the ride. It was supposed to be fun. Brody: So why haven't you left yet? Eddie: I can't. The only way out is to end the story. Can't do that until the falcon's found. Paige: You don't know where it is? Eddie: No. Dan and I laid down the fundamentals at the beginning. The story's got a life of its own now. Brody: So what have you been doing for the last 20 years? Sitting on your ass? Eddie: 20 years? No, Dan just died yesterday. Paige: No, not on the outside he didn't. You guys have created some sort of different time in here, one where no one ages, apparently. Eddie: No, they just get killed. Thanks to me. Brody: This is ridiculous, all right? Look kid... (The phone rings. Eddie answers it.) Eddie: This is Eddie, hold the line, please. (to Paige and Brody) If you don't mind. Paige: Yeah, no problem. (Paige and Brody leave the room.) Eddie: Hi, go ahead, Johnny. No, they don't know anything about the falcon but I think they're gonna be trouble anyways. [Cut to outside the room.] Brody: I'm telling you. He knows more than he's letting on. He's hiding something. Paige: Yeah, he's hiding pain. Real pain. I don't think that's supposed to be part of the story. Brody: So what if he feels guilty? Doesn't mean he didn't kill his brother. We could be next. Paige: Look, I know an innocent, okay? I think the only way to get out of this is to figure out who to help him first. (Eddie comes out of the room.) Eddie: Good news. That was an anonymous source, gave me a lead on the falcon. Brody: Oh, well, that's great, that's great. So what, you just happened to get this tip just now? Eddie: Well, you guys coming here must have triggered the story to move forward. If we find the falcon, we can get out. Isn't that what you want? Paige: Yeah, of course, isn't that what you want? Eddie: Yeah, sure. Um, I'll go get my car. (Eddie leaves.) Brody: I hope you know what you're doing. (Paige sense something.) What, what is it? Paige: Strange, I almost feel as if someone's calling to me. [Scene: Manor. Attic. Piper, Phoebe and Leo are there. Leo is holding the book and sensing Paige.] Leo: Paige is still alive in there. I don't know about Kyle. Phoebe: Wait, you're calling him Kyle now, too? Leo: Well, that's his name, isn't it? Phoebe: I knew she should not have gotten him involved in this. This is a bad idea. I'm sure it's his fault. Piper: Forget about whose fault it is. We need to get them out of there without getting trapped ourselves. Leo: Maybe I can help. Piper: What are you doing? Leo: It's all right, I'll be okay. (He opens the book and it starts to suck him in.) Piper: Leo. (The avatars appear behind Piper and Phoebe. They hold out their arms and their hands glow. The book stops sucking Leo in and the Avatars disappear.) Phoebe: You must have shorted it out. How did you do that? Leo: I guess I'm just a little more focused now. (Piper and Phoebe look at the open book. Sentences are appearing on the page.) Piper: What is it doing? Phoebe: It looks like it's writing itself as if it were unfolding right now. (They look at the illustration.) Piper: Is that Paige and Brody? Leo: Who's driving? Phoebe: Eddie Mullen I think. Listen. "Riding in Eddie's car, Lana and the Fed..." Piper: Lana and the Fed? Phoebe: Hey, at least he's not calling him Kyle, you know what I mean? Piper: "Lana and the Fed had no idea they were being driven straight into a trap." Leo: He's setting them up? Phoebe: What do you expect? It's called Crossed, Double-Crossed. (Phoebe takes the book and picks up a pen.) Piper: What are you doing? Phoebe: I am trying my hand at being a novelist. See if I can write in a little twist to help Paige out. "Then suddenly they got a flat tyre." [Cut to inside the book. Paige, Brody and Eddie are in the car. The car gets a flat tyre.] Brody: What the hell was that? Eddie: It's a flat tyre but I don't understand, that's impossible. Paige: What, you can't get a flat tyre in your book? Eddie: No. It's too cliché. Paige: Okay, who put it in there? (Eddie starts to get out.) Brody: Whoa, whoa. Where you going? Eddie: What? It's just up around the corner, we can get there on foot. Brody: Oh, come on, you're lying. He's lying. Eddie, I want some answers and I want them now. (Police cars pulls up beside them.) Eddie: I think you got your answer. (Johnny gets out of the car.) Johnny: We were wondering what was taking so long, Eddie. We were waiting. Paige: Eddie, what's going on? Eddie: I'm sorry to do this to you. Really, I am. But, see, this story can never end. (The police point their guns at Paige and Brody.) [Cut to the manor. Phoebe is reading from the book.] Phoebe: "The couple knew they'd been double-crossed and there was no way out." [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Manor. Attic. Phoebe is scribbling on a blank page of the book but no ink is showing on the page.] Phoebe: Nope, this one's not working either. Piper: Try this one. (Piper hands her another pen.) Leo: The pens are fine. The book's just not letting you write them out. Phoebe: Yeah, but why not? Piper: Well, maybe it's against the rules. I don't know, the book is writing itself, maybe they have to save themselves. Phoebe: Then why was I able to write in the flat tyre? Piper: It's just another plot twist which we could add but we can't bail them out. Heroes have to be heroes. I read a lot. Phoebe: Yeah, I know you do. Maybe you should get out a little more. Piper: Easy, cupid. Leo: Maybe you ought to focus on the book. Maybe there's something in the prose that can help them. Phoebe: In the prose. Yes, let me check the prose, Leo. Actually, there's something in chapter ten. He says the only way out is to find the falcon. So all we have to do is find the falcon? Piper: Yeah, before the book spits out two more corpses. Okay, let's go talk to the parents and see if they know anything about the book. You be creative and just keep Paige and Brody alive. Phoebe: Oh, okay, right. No pressure. [Scene: Inside the book. Room. Brody and Johnny are there. Brody is sitting on a chair in the middle of the room. Johnny hits Brody behind his neck with a baton.] Brody: Ah! Johnny: Tell me all you know about the falcon. Brody: I told you, I don't know anything. Johnny: No? Gee, why don't I believe you? (He hits him again.) Brody: Ah! (Paige is sitting in the next room. She stands up.) Paige: Kyle. (A cop pushes her back into the chair.) Cop: You're not going anywhere, sweetheart. Not unless you want him to end up with a bullet in his ear, you'll tell us where the falcon is. Understand? (He grabs her shoulder.) Paige: Get your paws off of me. Cop: So tell me, what's a cute little package like you doing mixed up with that no-good Fed in there? [Cut to the manor. Attic. Phoebe is watching the story unfold.] Phoebe: Femme fatale. Flirt with him, Paige. Flirt with him. (She starts writing in the book.) [Cut to inside the book.] Cop: Come on, sister, don't you know how to play the game? Paige: Sister. Cop: You're a little heartbreaker, aren't you? A regular femme fatale. (Paige stands up.) Paige: Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm just crazy. Crazy for cops. Tough cops. Kind of cops that'll arrest your heart. Make you long for a life sentence with them. (She pulls him towards her by his tie.) No any cops like that? [Cut to the other room. Johnny hits Brody with the baton. Brody falls to the floor.] Johnny: We can keep this up all night if you like. But if you can tell me where the falcon is and I'll end it but quick. (He pulls out his gun.) Brody: Is that supposed to be a choice? Johnny: Yeah. Either you die fast or you beg for death. But either way I'm getting a falcon out of you first. (Paige barges in with a gun.) Paige: Kyle. (Brody trips Johnny and grabs his gun.) You all right? Brody: I'll live. How'd you get in here? Paige: Well, I seduced a cop, grabbed his gun and knocked him out all thanks to Phoebe. Brody: Phoebe? Paige: I'm getting a little magical help from my sisters. That's the whole flat tyre thing, they were warning us about the trap. Doesn't matter, you're right, Eddie's not innocent. Brody: Actually, I think that you were right. I think Eddie is. Come on, I'll explain on the way, we've gotta find him. (They leave.) [Scene: Magic School. Piper and Leo are there talking to Mrs. Mullen.] Piper: Mrs. Mullen, if this is too difficult... Mrs. Mullen: No, no, no, I'm all right. I wanted to meet here, I miss coming here. So you said something about another shooting? Leo: Yes. Mrs. Mullen: Well, you don't think Eddie? Piper: No, of course not. Mrs. Mullen: Well, good, because he didn't kill his brother either. No matter what anybody says. He'd never do that, he loved Danny. Piper: You haven't heard from Eddie... Mrs. Mullen: In over 20 years, no. But believe it or not, his father and I still have hopes that, um, someday, somehow he'll come back to us. Sometimes it's the only thing that keeps us from falling apart. Crazy, huh? Do you have any children? Leo: Yeah, we have two boys too. Mrs. Mullen: Oh. Well, you treasure every moment together. Piper: Um, we were just wondering, did the boys ever mention writing a book together? Mrs. Mullen: What does that have to do with anything? Piper: Uh, we're not sure yet. Do you know anything about the book? Mrs. Mullen: Well, not much. He never let us see anything. Yeah, but I know it was Dan's idea. Yeah, I know he wanted to help Eddie with it. Leo: Help him out? Mrs. Mullen: To believe in himself, to feel confident. Piper: To be a hero? Mrs. Mullen: Yes, probably. Piper: (to Leo) Then he has to finish the story. Which means we need to help Paige help him. [Scene: Inside the book. Paige and Brody are walking down an alley.] Paige: This is ridiculous. I don't know why we're going to get Eddie. He's beyond hope. Brody: But didn't you hear him apologise when he turned us in? Criminals don't say they're sorry. Paige: Yeah, and innocents don't try to get you killed. Brody: Hey, Paige. I know that kid, I was that kid. Look, after my parents died, I fell in with the wrong crowd too. I was scared, lost, I thought I was to blame for what happened. Paige: I felt that way too but I didn't try to hurt anybody. Brody: I did. Relatives, social workers, cops. I'd do anything to push them away all because I didn't think I was worthy of being helped. Maybe Eddie feels the same way. Paige: Maybe but I think he crossed the line. Brody: Not necessarily. See, I think Johnny the Gent got him to set us up. He's playing Eddie. But what Eddie doesn't know is that Johnny is the one that killed his brother. Paige: I thought the cops killed him. Brody: No, it's classic noir. That's just a red herring. If the cops did it, they would've beaten Eddie until he told them where the falcon was but they're still looking for it. Paige: So the gangsters killed Dan? Brody: Who else would it be? Paige: Then maybe we need to end the story by calling the gangsters. All right, let's go, then back this way. Brody: Well, hold on, what about Eddie? [Scene: Manor. Attic. Piper, Phoebe and Leo are there.] Piper: Eddie's the hero of the story so he must know where the falcon is. Leo: But he blames himself for what happened to his brother. Paige has to get him to see it's not his fault. Piper: So he has the confidence to finish the story. Phoebe: You guys are a great team. Piper: Match make later, save sister now. You need to get Paige to Eddie. Phoebe: I can't, she's going after the gangsters. Leo: What? She's gonna get herself killed. Phoebe: Well, Kyle is trying to stop her but she won't listen to him. Wait, when did I take his side? Piper: Probably around the time you started to call him Kyle. Leo: Try and block her path. [Cut to inside the book. Paige and Brody are walking down the alley. A piano falls in front of them.] Brody: You were saying? Paige: Thanks, guys, could you be any less subtle? Brody: Looks like your sisters agree with me. Paige: Don't gloat. Let's go get Eddie. [Cut to Eddie's Office. Johnny is there. Paige and Brody walk in.] Paige: Eddie. (Johnny points a gun at them.) Johnny: Sorry to disappoint you. (Brody pulls out a gun.) Drop it. Brody: Where's Eddie? Johnny: I sent him out to look for the two of you. I heard you got away from the cops. Too bad you're not gonna get away from me. (He shoots Brody.) Paige: Kyle! Johnny: Forget about him, sweetheart. His number's up. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: In the book. Office. Continued from before.] Paige: Please, we just wanna get out of here. That's all, I swear. Help. Johnny: I'm sorry but if I want to get the falcon out of Eddie. I can't leave any loose ends hanging about. Now listen, in a couple of minutes it's gonna be over for your friend over there. But you, you're a knockout. Please, don't make me waste a bullet on you. (Eddie walks in.) Eddie: What's going on here? Johnny: Eddie, I didn't expect you so soon. They came looking to get even for you setting them up. Paige: That's not true. He killed my friend in cold blood, just like he killed your brother. Eddie: What? What are you talking about? Johnny: Don't listen to her, Eddie. You know the cops killed your brother, you know that. Paige: That's not true. You didn't see it, did you, Eddie? It's just a story that Johnny's been telling you. Don't you see, he's been playing you. He tried to force Dan into giving him the falcon but he wouldn't give it up. So now he's trying to charm you out of it. Johnny: That's it. (He points the gun at Paige.) Say goodnight, Gracie. (He pulls the trigger but there are no bullets in the gun.) What the hell? Paige: Thank you. I could use a flashback right now. [Cut to the manor. Attic. Piper, Phoebe and Leo are there.] Phoebe: Flashback. She wants a flashback. Leo: Why? Phoebe: To prove Johnny killed Eddie's brother. Piper: But we don't know that, we can't make it up, the book won't let us. Phoebe: It will if it's true. "Then Eddie found out how Dan really died. It was as if it was happening all over again." [Cut to inside the book. A flashback appears behind them.] Johnny: I know you found the falcon, Danny. Johnny: What the hell? Johnny: So you better tell me where it is if you know what's good for you. Dan: No. You can't kill me. I made you. (Johnny punches him and throws him to the floor.) Johnny: Never mind. I'll get it from your brother one way or the other. (He shoots Dan.) Sucker. Johnny: You're not gonna believe that, are you, kid? It's some kind of smoking mirrors trick. It's a pictures show. Brody: Paige, save your innocent. Paige: Eddie, you have to stop punishing yourself. This is not your fault. Your brother would not want you to live this way as if you were in some kind of prison. He would want you to grow up, to live your life, to become part of the real world. (They hear sirens.) Johnny: Cops. (He grabs Paige.) That's it. You give me the falcon now or I will break her neck. Paige: Don't, it's your only way out. Johnny: I'll do it. Eddie: All right. Don't hurt her, I'll give it to you. Johnny: It better not be a trick, kid. Eddie: It's not. I should have done this a long time ago. (Eddie walks over to a painting and removes it from the wall. Behind it is a safe. Eddie opens the safe and pulls out a bird statue.) Johnny: Where did you find it? Eddie: It doesn't matter. All that matters is no one else dies because of it. Let her go. Johnny: Give it to me. Come on, come on, I gotta go. Paige: You can't. This isn't the way the story is supposed to end. Eddie: Trust me, it is. Johnny: Give it to me. (Eddie raises it above his head.) No, no, no! (Eddie smashes the falcon on the floor.) [Cut to the manor. Attic. Smoke rises out of the book.] Phoebe: Wow, wow, okay, we did it, we did it. (Paige, Brody and Eddie appear.) We did it. Paige: Leo. Leo: I got him. (Leo heals Brody.) Brody: Hey, you're in colour. Paige: We all are. So we having fun yet? Eddie: Hey, where are we? Piper: Story's over. You're a hero. Your brother would be very proud of you. Eddie: Yeah, well, what do I do now? Piper: You go home. Your parents will be thrilled to see you. They never gave up on you. Leo: Or each other. Phoebe: Don't forget this. (On the cover of the book, "and the Halliwell Sisters" appears after "by the Mullen Brothers".) Hey, look, we're novelists. (She holds out the book.) Eddie: Nah, you know what? You keep it. Now that it's finished, no one else will get sucked inside it. Paige: I actually think it belongs in the library at Magic School. Piper: (to Leo) Speaking of Magic School, after you drop off Eddie, why don't you pick up the kids and we can have a late dinner, talk. Leo: I'd like that. Eddie: I guess this is it then. Thank you. Brody: Stay out of trouble, man, will you? Paige: Bye. (Leo orbs out with Eddie.) Are you hungry? Brody: Starving. Paige: I think we should go then. (Paige and Brody head for the door.) Piper: All right, then, you all go. See you later. Phoebe: Lana and the Fed. Piper: Sounds like a thriller to me. Phoebe: More like a romance novel whether we like it or not. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Brody's Apartment. Paige and Brody are there standing close to each other.] Brody: Remember our deal, right? Paige: I remember there being talk of a deal. Brody: So I suppose that you'll find time to help me with the Avatars? Paige: I suppose you'll wanna look at the books at Magic School? Brody: I suppose I'm not thinking about those books right now. Paige: I suppose I'm hoping you're not thinking of those books. Brody: I wonder if I know what you mean. Paige: I wonder if I... Shut up and kiss me. (They kiss.)

Plan: A: a murder; Q: What happens at Magic School that causes Paige and Brody to get sucked into an unfinished gangster novel? A: Agent Brody; Q: Who is Paige's partner in the investigation? A: the real world; Q: Where do Paige and Brody want to get back to? A: the story; Q: What do Piper, Leo, and Phoebe try to finish to bring Paige and Brody back to the present? A: their adventure; Q: What do Paige and Brody work on in the pages of the book? A: the story's criminal element; Q: Who is trying to kill Paige and Brody? Summary: When a murder occurs at Magic School, Paige and Agent Brody get sucked into an unfinished gangster novel during their investigation. However, their only hope for getting back into the real world is to find the author of the story and get the story finished. As the pair work on their adventure in the pages of the book, Piper, Leo, and Phoebe work on trying to finish the story themselves to bring Paige and Brody back to the present before they're killed by the story's criminal element.

Ted from 2030: Kids, after Uncle Marshall lost his father, he decided to stay home a while to take care of his mother. (phone ringing) But the longer he stayed there, the more it was like he had never left Minnesota. Eriksen's house Marshall: Eriksen residence, Marshall speaking. Robin, laughing: Oh, that is too cute. Say it again. Marshall: No. It's called manners, jerk. Now, what's-what's going on in New York? Give me something. Robin: There is one thing that's been going on. Uh, it's about Ted... and Zoey. [FLASHBACK] Ted from 2030: Kids, remember. Zoey had tried to save an old building from being torn down and replaced by a new building that I'd been hired to design. And yet somehow, despite this, we had all managed to become friends. Which brings us to the night Aunt Robin decided to cook dinner. Ted's appartment Robin: I thought the oven was Celsius. Ted: It's okay. We got hot dogs. Lily: Yeah, and it's not like you can screw up a hot dog. Oh, God. This is so good. I'm gonna finish it in the bathroom. Zoey: Could someone pass the ketchup? Barney: I hope I can pass this hot dog. (glass shatters) Zoey: Oh.Oops. Ted: Well, looks like someone's going out in the cold to get more ketchup. Zoey: Oh, come on, man, I brought the wine. Ted: Which is all gone. Zoey: All right, I tell you what... you get this one bottle, I'll get the next three. Ted: Hmm, tell you what... no dice. Zoey: I'll get the next hundred. Ted: You're not getting out of this. Zoey: You want to go on a date with my hot cousin? Ted: I'll get the ketchup. [END OF FLASHBACK] [OPENING CREDITS] Marshall: Robin, I just want you to know, it's either this story you're telling me or another game of Clue against myself, so make it good. Robin: Oh, it's good. You see, after that night, none of us heard from Zoey for a while. [FLASHBACK] Robin: Finally, Ted called her up. Zoey: Hello. Ted: So are we ever gonna see you again? Because, if I recall correctly, you owe me a date with your hot cousin. Zoey: You still want to do that? Ted: Yes. And we miss you. But the cousin thing mostly. Let's get that going. Zoey: Don't worry, Ted, she's cute. Barney, coughing: "Cute" means "fat"" Zoey: She's not fat. Barney, coughing: "Not fat" means "ugly"" Zoey: Oh, here she is. Barney, coughing: I take back everything I said. That girl is extremely attractive. Honey: Hey, Zoey. Zoey: Hey. Ted, this is my cousin... Ted from 2030: Kids, to be honest, I don't quite remember this girl's name. None of us do, because as this story has been told and retold, we've always just referred to her as... Honey: Honey. Ted: Hi, Honey, I'm Ted. Ted from 2030: And here's why... [END OF FLASHBACK] Robin: She is a lovely person... warm, intelligent, just kind of gullible. It's like, every word out of her mouth makes you want to be like, "Oh, honey." Marshall: Interesting. Show your work. [FLASHBACK] Honey: My apartment building is so safe. My landlord... he even installed a security camera in my shower. [END OF FLASHBACK] Marshall: Oh, honey. [FLASHBACK] Honey: Maybe I should feel weird about giving a stranger my Social Security number, but the guy's a Nigerian prince. [END OF FLASHBACK] Marshall: Oh, honey. [FLASHBACK] Honey: I just had a great TV audition. Behind the KFC where the executive producer works on the weekends. [END OF FLASHBACK] Marshall: Oh, honey. [FLASHBACK] Honey: Long story short, I'm going to be on Lost. [END OF FLASHBACK] Marshall: Oh, honey. Robin: I know. You just want to wrap her up in a blanket and give her a cup of tea. She's, like, this little lost lamb who needs to be protected from the wolves. Speaking of whom... [FLASHBACK] Honey: Yeah, I always get those e- mails from Michelle Obama and sometimes Obama himself. Barney: Oh, honey. Robin: So the night went on, and eventually everyone went home, except for Ted and Honey. Honey: Wow, an architect. How fascinating. Barney: Why do they call 'em coasters? Robin: And Barney. Honey: Okay, time to go home. Barney: Ted, a word. God, I hate these situations. What are we gonna do about this? Ted: What are you talking about? Barney: Come on, Ted, it's obvious. Honey's vibing on me. Ted: What? Barney: It's called body language. Remember when she was touching your arm and leaning in real close? Ted: Mm-hmm. Barney: Well, while that was happening, the straw in her drink was pointed right at me. I mean... that's as clear as a signal gets, so... I'm so sorry, man. Ted: You're right. She's all yours, buddy. I'd say hump her brains out, but someone obviously already has. Ted's appartment Robin: Good for you. Ted Mosby does not take advantage of poor, helpless honeys. Ted: Yeah, actually, there's another reason that I didn't go home with her. Robin: Hmm? [END OF FLASHBACK] Judy: He's gay! Marshall: Mom, hang up! Judy: I'm sorry. Marshall: Go on. [FLASHBACK] Ted: Yeah, actually, there's another reason that I didn't go home with her. Robin: Hmm? Ted: I'm in love with Zoey. [END OF FLASHBACK] Marshall: Oh, my God. Judy: Oh, my God! Marshall: Mom! Judy: Sorry. Marshall: Ted's in love with Zoey? But, but she's married. That boy needs an intervention. Robin: Funny you should say that. [FLASHBACK] Barney: Does anyone know why we're here? Lily: Yeah, who called this intervention? (Ted enters) Ted: I did. It's for me. This is about the coffee breath. Lily: Finally. Robin: Hmm, no, it's the shoulder hair. Barney: Guys, just let the man explain how it's all about his wearing a lady's watch. Ted: It's because I'm in love with Zoey, and she's married, so it needs to stop. And... intervene. Lily: Are you sure it's love? Ted: Remember the ketchup bottle? She wasn't the one who dropped it. When she reached for it, our fingers touched, and...(glass shatters) I knew, right in that moment, this isn't friendship. This is love. [END OF FLASHBACK] Wuss. Marshall: Marcus! This is a private conversation! So what'd the wuss do next? [FLASHBACK] Ted: This is love. And this was my grandmother's watch. Anyway, now I have only one course of action in front of me: I have to end my friendship with Zoey. Robin: Isn't that a little harsh? Lily: Harsh? Robin, a single guy and a married woman cannot be friends if one's in love with the other. Robin: Yeah, but Zoey is friends with us now, too. It's not like Ted can just ghost out on her. She'll always be around. Ted: Then what am I supposed to do? Robin: Okay, just shut it down. Okay, just ignore your feelings. If-If she asks you for ketchup, tell her to get it her own damn self. Look, I like Zoey. Without her, my dinner party wouldn't have been such a success. So those feelings of yours... shut 'em down. Ted: Fine. I'll shut 'em down. Lily: And seriously, mouthwash after coffee. [END OF FLASHBACK] (phone line beeps) Marshall: Oh, um, that's my other line. It's not a number I recognize. Robin: So don't answer it. (line beeps) Marshall: Yeah. Robin, with a Minnesotan accent: Oh, my God, you are so Minnesota. You can't not answer the phone because it would be rude. (line beeps) Marshall: Well, it would be. Good-bye. Eriksen residence, Marshall speaking. Barney: Hey, Marshall. Marshall: Barney. W- What number is this? Barney: I'm up on burners, playa. Too many crazies had my old number, so now I'm all about disposable cell phones. I'll use one for a while, have my fun, then dump it and get a new one. And then I'll do the same with my phone. Marshall: Hey, uh, so Robin told me about this whole Ted and Zoey thing. Barney: Dude, she doesn't know how to tell a story. I'll tell you that story. [FLASHBACK] (Zoey's cousin enters the bar) Honey: Hey, Zoey. Zoey: Ted, this is my cousin... Honey: Honey. [END OF FLASHBACK] Marshall: Uh... Robin's version was... Barney: That is exactly how it happened. So Ted did his best to impress her, but as per yoozh, he bored the pants very much on her. [FLASHBACK] Ted: Blah, blah, blah, I'm an architect. Blah, blah, blah, I don't wear suits. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Honey: Wow, an architect. How fascinating. Ted: Blah, blah, blah, blah. Rambling architecture anecdote. Blah, blah, something about a bridge. Blah, blah, blah... Honey, whispering: Straw. Barney, whispering: Coaster. Honey: Okay, time to go home. [END OF FLASHBACK] Barney: Anyway, I get Honey back to her place. [FLASHBACK] Barney: Who's your daddy? [END OF FLASHBACK] Marshall: Okay, can we skip this part, please? Barney: Sure, I'll just summarize it. (imitating squeaky bedsprings) Marshall: Okay, that's been going on a while. Barney: Only way I know how. Any-who, next day, I'm going into work. I run into Zoey. [FLASHBACK] Barney: Hey, Zoey. That cousin of yours... Honey... yowsa! I must say, your family tree has got a couple of pretty big coconuts. Zoey: Thanks. Barney: Yeah, we had a great time last night. And then just hand stuff in the morning, so... Zoey: Wait, she didn't go home with Ted? Barney: Nope, he let me have her. I have to say, it was pretty noble of him. He fell on his sword so that she could fall on mine. I won't bore you with the details, but to summarize... (imitating squeaky bedsprings) [END OF FLASHBACK] [SCENE_BREAK] Barney: She hugged me. What was that all about? Marcus: Zoey's in love with Ted. Marshall: Marcus! Marcus: Wait, hear me out, Marshall. Zoey's in love with Ted, but she's married, so she tried to push him away by setting him up with her cousin instead. But seeing Ted and Honey hit it off was more than her gentle heart could bear, so Zoey left early, pricked by love's fickle thorn. But then, the next morning, upon learning that Ted had not tasted of Honey's sweet nectar, her joy burst forth like a blossoming flower in spring. Marshall: Wow. Zoey's in love with Ted. Marcus: Oh, Marshall, I stopped by that new doughnut shop Hertz Donuts. Would you like a Hertz Donut? Marshall: Sure. Hey, where's the...? No! Aah! Marcus: Hurts, don't it? I can't believe you fell for that, bro. Marshall: So Ted's in love with Zoey and Zoey's in love with Ted? Well, that-that's not going to work. I got to call Ted. (phone ringing) Ted: Hello. Marshall: Listen, Ted, um, I got to tell you something about Zoey. Ted: Yeah, yeah. I need to tell you something about Zoey, too. [FLASHBACK] (Ted opens his entru door) Zoey: Hey. I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd take you up on that beer you're about to offer me. Ted: Can I get you a beer? Zoey: Oh, Ted, I'm so busy. But I guess I got time for one. Lead the way. Ted, laughing: Oh, my God. Zoey: What?! Fridge full of ketchup? How? How, I ask you? What? Ted:Listen, Zoey, I, um... I need to tell you something. Um... [END OF FLASHBACK] Judy: Marshall, I'm going to Byerly's. You want anything? Marshall: Mom! Get off the phone! Marcus: Could you get some more Bugles, please? Judy: Of course, dear. Marshall: Marcus, hang up! Both of you, hang up! And we need ice cream. Go on. [FLASHBACK] Ted: I, uh... I can't be friends with you anymore. And this may seem strange, but... you can't ask me why. Zoey: Wow. Okay. (Zoey leaves) [END OF FLASHBACK] Ted: And that was it. No more Zoey. (line beeps) Marshall: Oh. Hey, buddy, that's Lily. I should take that. But, uh, you're a good guy, Ted. Hey, baby. Lily: We hate Ted now. Get on board or the sexting stops. Marshall: Ted's a son of a bitch! (cell phone chirps) Oh, nice. But, hey, um, baby, go easy on Ted, okay? He just, he just ended things with Zoey. Lily: Oh, I know. But did he tell you the whole story? [FLASHBACK] Ted: I, uh, I can't be friends with you anymore. And you can't ask me why. Zoey: Why? Ted: Lily hates you. (Lily opens her appartment's entry door) Zoey: You hate me? Lily: That's crazy. I don't hate you. Zoey: Well, I know that's not true, Lily. Ted told me everything. Lily: He... Oh, really? And-And what did Ted say, exactly? [FLASHBACK] Ted: Lily hates you. She hates you so much it's hard to be around you. So we can't be friends. [END OF FLASHBACK] Lily: Oh, he... Oh, yeah. Yeah, okay, well, I- I guess there's no use hiding it anymore. I- I hate you. Bitch. Zoey: I can't believe it. I really thought you and I were friends. Lord knows I could use a friend right now. I've been going through some pretty difficult stuff. [END OF FLASHBACK] Marshall: Difficult stuff? What difficult stuff? Lily: I don't know. Marshall: Well, you did the right thing, baby. Lily: Not entirely. [FLASHBACK] Lily: Zoey, wait! I don't hate you! We just can't be friends anymore because... Robin hates you. [END OF FLASHBACK] (line beeps) Marshall: And that's Robin on the other line. Lily: Oh, well, I'll let you take that. Love you, baby! Marshall: Eriksen residence, Marshall speaking... Listen, Robin. I know. I apologize for my wife. She never should have... Robin: Yeah, I told Zoey you hate her. Marshall: Me? You dragged me into this?! Robin: You just went through a tragedy. It's not like she's gonna call you up and... (line beeps) Marshall: Oh, God, that's my other line. Oh, God, it's a 917 number, and I don't recognize it! I think it's Zoey! Robin: Just don't answer it. Marshall: I can't not answer. It's impolite. Robin: Marshall, you can beat this. Marshall: I can't turn my back on politeness. Robin: You don't have to answer. You can just let it ring. Marshall: Good manners are what separate us from those "elbows on the table" Wisconsinites. Robin: You can do this. I believe in you. Don't do it, Marshall! Marshall: I'm sorry, Robin! Eriksen residence. Marshall speaking. Honey: Hi. I spent the night with your friend Barney and he accidentally left his phone in my apartment, in the garbage. But I've been going through all of his contacts because I'm sure he wants to get in touch with me. After all, he told me, uh... I was his first. Marshall: Oh, honey. Oh! Honey! Zoey's cousin. Honey: Hi. Marshall: Listen, um, about Barney... Honey: Oh, yeah. He's such a sweet guy. [FLASHBACK] Barney: Who's your daddy? Honey, giggling: Oh... Who's your daddy? Barney, sobbing: I don't know. [END OF FLASHBACK] Honey: I guess he recently decided to get in touch with his dad. His mom gave him the guy's address. [FLASHBACK] Barney: So I wrote him a letter. And I poured my heart out. And I gave him my number and I told him to call me. And he still hasn't called me. Honey: Oh, honey. Barney: I mean, I shouldn't be surprised. Clearly, he wants nothing to do with me. Honey: Oh, honey. Barney: I mean, why else would he let 30 years go by? He's ashamed to have me as a son. Honey: Oh, honey, he's not ashamed of you. He's ashamed of himself. I mean, look at you. You're do so great without him. I mean, you have an airline and three Nobel Prizes, and you play for the Yankees. Barney: Four. Four Nobel Prizes. Honey: Four. See? That is impressive. I mean, how many does he have? Barney: Only three. Honey: Well, there you go. [END OF FLASHBACK] Marshall: Hey, uh, listen, Honey, while I've got you, do you have any idea what kind of difficult stuff Zoey's been going through? Honey: Oh, I can't tell you about that. The only people that are allowed to know are me, Zoey and her therapist. Marshall: I am her therapist. Honey: Oh! Well, in that case... Marshall: Uh, okay, listen, I think we've made great progress for today. I got to go. Bye. Mom! Marcus! The appartment (knocking at door) Zoey: What's this really about? Ted: I told you. Lily hates you. Zoey: I think you hate me. I think you have some big problem with me, and you're too chicken to come out and say it. Ted: All right. Yes. I... hate you. Zoey: Great. See? Was that so hard? Ted: Zoey. Zoey: Can you at least tell me why? Because I'm racking my brain here, and I thought... I just want to know why. Marshall: So we got Ted and Zoey. Ted is in love with Zoey. Zoey has no idea. Then Zoey's cousin Honey went home with Barney, and Zoey was happy about it. Which tells us what? Marcus: Zoey's in love with... Marshall: Zoey's in love with Ted and Ted doesn't know. So Ted and Zoey... they're in love with each other, which would be fine if Zoey wasn't married to Colonel Mustard. I mean, The Captain. Except now, as Honey informs me... [FLASHBACK] Ted: And we miss you. But the cousin thing mostly. Let's get that going. Zoey: Fine, I will, uh, make it happen. Good-bye. Okay. Well... I guess I'll take it. [END OF FLASHBACK] Marshall: Zoey and The Captain are getting divorced. Which means...? Marcus: So help me, Marshall, if you don't call those two crazy, mixed-up kids, I will. Marshall: Give me that phone. Ted: Why do I hate you? Are you kidding? Uh, you're actively trying to prevent me from realizing a lifelong dream. So there's that. Plus, you're stubborn and-and-and argumentative. And what kind of name is Zoey, huh? What is that, short for Zoseph? (cell phone ringing) Go on, get it. I'll have more in a second. Zoey: Hello. Oh, hey, Marshall...Yes, I am...Yes, I am...He is?...Bye. Ted: Why was Marshall calling? Zoey: Don't worry about it. Go on. Ted: You talk during movies. You-You-You sneeze with your whole body. Uh, to my knowledge, you do not speak Portuguese. Zoey: Well, actually... (speaking Portuguese) Ted: You're a show-off. (cell phone ringing) Zoey: You better take that. Ted: Uh, hey, Marshall, can I call you back? I'm out in the hallway with... She is? She is? Marshall, I got to go. (He walks over Zoey et kisses her. The neighbour, on the phone, opens her door) Neighbour: They're kissing. Marshall: They're kissing?! Yeah! (screams) They're kissing!

Plan: A: Ted; Q: Who calls an intervention on himself after having an epiphany about his feelings for Zoey? A: a date; Q: What does Zoey fix Ted up on with her cousin? A: her "Honey; Q: What do the gang call Zoey's cousin? A: Barney; Q: Who gets acquainted with Honey in Ted's place? Summary: When Zoey fixes Ted up on a date with her cousin, the gang resorts to calling her "Honey" after learning how naive she is. Meanwhile, Ted calls an intervention on himself after having an epiphany about his feelings for Zoey, and Barney gets acquainted with Honey in Ted's place.

[ The stairwell ] [SCENE_BREAK] Leonard: I was unstoppable. I mean, I was, I was on fire. It was like my mind and my body were totally connected, like, like athletes must feel when they're in the zone. Penny: Again, it was miniature golf. Leonard: Admit it, you're a little turned on. Penny: You can't be this proud. Leonard: Why not? Penny: Because I beat you. Leonard: Hey. Penny: Hi. Sheldon: Oh, good. You're back. Amy: We have some exciting news. Leonard: Okay. Sheldon: As you know, Amy and I have been together a long time, and a lot of things I never thought possible now seem possible. Penny: Okay. Amy: After a careful evaluation of our relationship, we decided that the time was right to take a step forward. Leonard: Okay. Sheldon: Do you want to say it? Amy: Let's say it together. Together: We're getting a turtle. Penny: This is why I've been saying we should keep champagne on ice. Sheldon: Sarcasm? Amy: Yes. Sheldon: Okay. That was tricky, 'cause when it comes to alcohol, she generally means business. Leonard: Well, we're, we're very happy for you. Penny: Yes. Amy: Thank you. Acquiring a joint pet is a big step for us. Sheldon: No. It's true. It means that we care so much about each other, there's enough left over for an eight-ounce reptile. Leonard: Why a turtle? Sheldon: After much deliberation, we've determined that a turtle is the ideal pet. They don't shed fur, they don't make noise. Amy: For Halloween, we can dress him as a cobblestone. Sheldon: Yeah. And if he ever goes berserk, I know I can outrun him. Coincidentally, that's also why I chose you as a roommate. Leonard: Well, congratulations. Who would've thought you two would be the first in our group to start a family? Penny: Mm-hmm. Amy: That's what I said. [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ ♪ Bang! ♪ Original Air Date on March 5, 2015 [SCENE_BREAK] [ Emily's apartment ] [SCENE_BREAK] Raj: So, where's your roommate tonight? Emily: Well, I thought it was a little unfair that she's always here, and you never get a chance to stay over, so I killed her. Raj: But remember our agreement? You can joke about murdering people, but you have to say just kidding. Emily: And the more important thing to remember is that I'd never hurt you. (phone chimes) Oh, crap. I have to run over to the hospital and check on a patient. Raj: That's okay. I can come back later. Emily: No. No, don't be silly. I won't be gone long. Just stay here. Raj: Okay, cool. Oh, and you're sure your roommate's not gonna come back while I'm here alone, right? 'Cause that'll be awkward. Emily: Oh, don't worry. She's in Palm Springs. Raj: Oh, good. Emily: Well, her torso is. Just kidding. I put her in a wood chipper. [SCENE_BREAK] [ A pet store ] [SCENE_BREAK] Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord. Oh, dear Lord. Amy: It's okay. You made it. We're fine. Sheldon: That was a lot of puppies. Amy: Let's forget about them, and pick ourselves out a nice turtle. Oh, how about this one up on the log? Sheldon: Oh, I don't know. He kind of looks like a jerk. How about this one? Amy: Well, he's barely moving. He looks half dead. Sheldon: I know. I like him, too. Hi, little guy. How'd you like to come home with us? You'll be living with me because we don't live in the same house. Amy: But that's not your fault. Like you, we're taking it ridiculously slow. You'll stay with me when he's at Comic-Con or away for work. Sheldon: Or if they accept Daddy's application to live on Mars. Amy: What are you talking about? Sheldon: Oh, there's this company that's attempting to establish a colony on Mars, and I applied to be among the first to go. What should we name him? You know, I came in thinking "Seth", but he kind of looks Italian. Amy: You applied for a mission to be a colonist on another planet, and couldn't be bothered to tell me? Sheldon: Would you have approved? Amy: Of course not. Sheldon: Well, based on your reaction, it looks like I made the right choice. Isn't that right, Giuseppe? [SCENE_BREAK] [ The apartment ] [SCENE_BREAK] Leonard: Hey, hey. Listen, I, I have a little confession to make. Penny: Aw, is this your first time? Leonard: No, I got you something for Valentine's Day, and I was too embarrassed to give it to you. Penny: Well, why? Leonard: Well, 'cause I got it at the dirty store. Penny: You went to the dirty store without me? Leonard: In sunglasses and a hat after I parked two blocks away. Penny: Well, get it. Get it for me. Leonard: Yeah? Penny: Yeah. Leonard: Okay, uh, well, I hope it's fun. I mean, it, it comes with paints, and, and it's kind of creative and artistic. Penny: Okay, did you go to the dirty store or Michaels? Leonard: No, no. We cover ourselves in body paint, and then, then we get on this big canvas and do our thing. Penny: Whoa, that's kind of a big step for a guy who only recently agreed to take his socks off. Leonard: You're making fun of me. Forget it. Penny: No. No, come on, I want to do it. Leonard: Really? Penny: Yeah, let's you, me, and your very, very pale feet make some art. Hey, when you got back to this store, I want to go with you. Leonard: Okay, but it's a drive, the one I went to is in San Diego. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Howard and Bernadette's apartment ] [SCENE_BREAK] Howard: How are the taxes going? Bernadette: Okay. But you got a lot of receipts for the Lego store in here. Howard: Those are business expenses. You can write those off. Bernadette: A two hundred dollar R2-D2 is a business expense? Howard: Oh, Bernie, you're gonna have to sound a lot more confident when we get audited. (cell phone rings) Hey, what's up? Raj: Oh, Emily ran back to the hospital, so I'm just hanging out at her place. What are you, uh, what are you doing? Howard: Just playing video games while Bernie does the taxes. Raj: What are you, a little kid? Is she gonna cut your dinner into little pieces, too? Howard: She doesn't have to, I filled up on jelly beans. Raj: So, uh, what game are you... Oh. Crap. Howard: What's wrong? Raj: I can't get Emily's night-stand to close. Howard: So? Raj: She's gonna know I was looking in it. Howard: Why were you looking in it? Raj: Well, there's a question I better have a good answer to before she gets back. Howard: Okay, calm down. There's probably something jammed behind it. Just, uh, pull it out and see what's there. Raj: Hang on. Oh no. Oh, no. Oh, God, no. Howard: You know what, you sound busy, I'm gonna let you go. Raj: Dude, the whole front came off. Now she's gonna know I was snooping. Bernadette: What's happening? Howard: Raj was snooping through Emily's drawers and broke one. Bernadette: Aw. I'm gonna miss her. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Penny's bedroom ] [SCENE_BREAK] Penny: So what do you think? Leonard: I thought it'd be a little more, just more. Penny: I'm not even sure why we were out of breath. Uh, I mean, did we move at all? Leonard: Maybe along the z-axis, but x and y are looking pretty sad. Penny: Okay, come on. We are not old boring people. We can do better than this. Leonard: Uh, Th, that's true. How late did we stay up last night? Penny: Almost 1am. Leonard: Damn straight, almost 1am. And we weren't even watching TV. We were watching Netflix, like the kids do. Penny: Yeah, is it a comedy? Is it a drama? Nobody knows. Now, come on. We are gonna do this. Leonard: Yeah. You get the paint, I'll rest for 30 to 40 minutes, and then we do this. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The stairwell ] [SCENE_BREAK] Sheldon: I can't believe you almost had me bring a wild animal into my home. Amy: No one told you to poke the turtle's face. Sheldon: I was playing Got Your Nose. That's how you get children to like you. Amy: I'm surprised you even care if he likes you, since you're planning on leaving the planet the first chance you get. Sheldon: Ugh, this again. Amy, I've already had one new hole torn in my body today. I don't need another one. Amy: Sheldon, I know the odds of you even going to Mars are incredibly small, but it still hurts that you would volunteer for something that would take you away from me forever. Sheldon: So you're saying you wouldn't leave me for the chance to be one of the first humans to colonize another planet? Amy: I would at least mention it before filling out the application. Sheldon: Huh, that's exactly what Leonard, Wolowitz, Koothrappali, Bernadette and Penny said. Amy: And who says you could even survive an interplanetary mission, anyway? You could barely survive a tiny turtle bite. Sheldon: First of all, this has only made me stronger. But beyond that, all I did was fill out an application. Amy: You know what? Go to Mars, Sheldon. Sheldon: Is there anything I can do to cheer you up? Amy: No. Forget it. Sheldon: What if I play the Star Trek theme on my nose? Amy: Please don't. (humming the Star Trek theme) Sheldon: Yep, you're mad. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Howard and Bernadette's apartment. Howard is on the phone to Raj ] [SCENE_BREAK] Howard: Okay, let me see the damage. Raj: Hang on. Howard: Well, I think you broke the dowels. You're not gonna have time to glue it back on, you'll have to nail it. Raj: With what? Howard: Does she have any pillows or wine glasses? Raj: She does. Howard: Great. Neither of those. Try a hammer. Raj: Did that feel good? You feel like a big man now? [SCENE_BREAK] [ The apartment ] [SCENE_BREAK] Sheldon: I was going to make you red zinger, but since Mars is the red planet, I went with peppermint. Amy: Why do you even want to do this? Sheldon: Actually, as part of the application, I was required to make a short video answering that very question. You want to see it? Amy: Can't you just tell me? Sheldon: But I made a video. Sheldon (on video): I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, and I'd like to tell you why I should be chosen to (echoing) go to Mars. I'm exceedingly smart. I graduated college at 14. While my brother was getting an STD I was getting a PhD. Penicillin can't take this away. Being in close quarters, cleanliness is important and my hygiene is impeccable. In fact, animals don't trust me because I smell like nothing. Yeah... (inhales) Literally nothing. During the seven-month space flight, I can keep up morale with my wacky sense of humour. Hey, Leonard, is there any peanut brittle left in that can? Leonard (on video): You mean this weirdly suspicious one? Sheldon (on video): Yes. Open it and check. Leonard (on video): I don't get it. There's actually peanut brittle in... Please go to Mars. Sheldon (on video): But on a more serious note, the most important reason I want to go to Mars is that I believe, as a scientist, it's my duty to push the boundaries of human knowledge forward. Now, I know that life on Mars will be difficult. But life here on Earth is no picnic. Also, picnics are no picnic. Where should we go for lunch? Oh, I know, the ground. In conclusion, thank you for considering me for this journey of a lifetime. (echoing) To Mars. Sheldon: Afterwards, Leonard blew his nose, and pie came out. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Penny's bathroom ] [SCENE_BREAK] Leonard: Right there, right there, Oh, God, that's it. Penny: How did you get paint in your eye? Leonard: Because you wouldn't let me wear safety goggles. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Emily's bedroom. Raj is still on the phone with Howard ] [SCENE_BREAK] Raj: (sighs heavily) This looks terrible. She, she's gonna know. Howard: It's fine. You just need two more nails. Raj: Okay, where should I put them? Howard: In Emily's eyes. Raj: You're not helping. Bernadette: Well, maybe this is what you get for snooping. Raj: You know, it, it's bad enough that I have to deal with this... Emily: Raj? I'm back. (door closes) Raj: Oh, no. Hey. Emily: Hi. Raj: (stammering) How was the hospital? Emily: Fine. What were you doing in there? Raj: Uh w, well, okay, look, I, I don't want to lie to you. I got curious, I was looking around and I broke the drawer on your night stand. Emily: You were looking in my night stand? Raj: Yeah. Emily: So, the first time I leave you alone, you snoop on me? Raj: You've never snooped around my apartment? Emily: No. Raj: Come on, think back. It would really help if you had. Emily: I can't believe you don't trust me. Bernadette: She sounds really mad. Howard: We should hang up. Bernadette: Yeah, we should. Howard: But we're not going to, are we? Bernadette: Not a chance. Howard: What happened to snooping is wrong? Bernadette: Howard, you're going to jail for tax fraud. Who cares? [SCENE_BREAK] [ Penny's bedroom ] [SCENE_BREAK] Leonard: Well, we did it. Penny: We sure did. Leonard: I mean, I was on fire. I, I was in the zone, like an athlete. Penny: Sweetie, I beat you at this, too. Leonard: So, where do we want to hang it? Penny: What? Are you kidding? We're not hanging it. Leonard: But it's an expression of our love. Penny: And our butts. Not hanging it. Leonard: Seems a shame to throw it away. Penny: Yeah. We could give it to Sheldon, and tell him William Shatner painted it. Leonard: God, I love you. I love you so much. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The apartment ] [SCENE_BREAK] Amy: I think I'm gonna go home. Sheldon: Why? I really don't understand what's happening here. Amy: You know, Sheldon, at any other time, learning that you had plans to go live on Mars would be a slow news day. But a couple of hours ago, we were getting a turtle. And silly as it sounds, I thought that meant something. Sheldon: Amy. Oh, why didn't I give her Sleepy Time tea? Amy, wait. Getting a turtle meant a great deal to me, too. Amy: Sure. Unless something better comes along. Sheldon: Do you want me to withdraw my application? Amy: What I want is for us to be planning our future together. Sheldon: And in that future, are we on the same planet? Because I've seen people make the long-distance thing work. Amy: We're on the same planet. Sheldon: Okay. Does that planet have to be Earth? Amy: Are you asking me to go to Mars with you? Sheldon: I am. Yeah, if I'm going to a barren, lifeless environment where the chances of survival are slim to none, I want you there with me. Why don't we go back to the apartment, and fill out your application? Amy: Okay. I suppose being the first people on a new planet would be incredibly exciting. Sheldon: Oh, I know. We could be the first to plant a flag on Mars. We could be the first to watch Mars Attacks! on Mars. We could be the first to say "good lord, what on Mars are you talking about"? Amy: You know, we could also be the first people to procreate on Mars. Sheldon: You just can't keep it in your space pants, can you? Amy: Think about it. If we had a family there, our kids would be Martians. Sheldon: They would, wouldn't they? We could give them cool Martian names. And we could teach them about Martian history. Like, who planted those flags? And, uh, where did that copy of Mars Attacks! come from? Amy: I guess we'll have to make a new video together, as a couple. Sheldon: (gasps) Good idea. And since you've had such a rough day, I'm gonna let you throw the pie in Leonard's face. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Emily's bedroom ] [SCENE_BREAK] Raj: Thank you for forgiving me. Emily: That's okay. At some point, we were bound to have our first fight. Raj: Well, it almost happened when you called my apple pie crust "doughy", but the truth is you were right, and I was just angry at myself. Emily: Can I ask you one thing? Raj: Of course. What? Emily: Did you look in my closet? Raj: No. Just the drawer. Emily: You promise you didn't look in the closet? Raj: I promise. Why, what's in there? Emily: Don't worry about it. Good night.

Plan: A: Amy; Q: Who wants to plan their future together? A: their relationship; Q: What do Sheldon and Amy decide to advance by buying a pet tortoise? A: his mind; Q: What did Sheldon change after the tortoise bit him? A: the planet Mars; Q: Where did Sheldon apply to colonize without consulting Amy? A: the opportunity; Q: What does Amy not support in Sheldon's Mars application? A: Martians; Q: What would Sheldon and Amy be if they had children on Mars? A: Leonard; Q: Who bought body paint and a canvas for himself and Penny to have sex on? A: the initial results; Q: What did Leonard and Penny dislike about the body paint? A: William Shatner; Q: Who did Leonard and Penny tell Sheldon painted the canvas? A: Emily; Q: Who is angry with Raj for breaking a drawer in her apartment? A: a drawer; Q: What does Raj break while snooping in Emily's apartment? A: video call; Q: How did Howard and Bernadette hear Raj's mistake? A: her closet; Q: Where does Emily scare Raj into thinking there is something morbid in? Summary: Sheldon and Amy decide to advance their relationship by buying a pet tortoise. However, Sheldon changes his mind after it bites him and Amy is hurt when she learns Sheldon has applied to colonize the planet Mars without consulting her. Sheldon doesn't understand why she can't support the opportunity, however Amy makes him realize she wants them to plan their future together. They agree to make another application as a couple and are both amused that if they had children there they would technically be Martians. Leonard bought body paint and a canvas for himself and Penny to have sex on. They are disappointed with the initial results but push themselves into making something they like. They decide to give the canvas to Sheldon by telling him William Shatner painted it. Meanwhile, Emily leaves Raj alone in her apartment and he breaks a drawer while snooping. Raj fails to fix it with Howard and Bernadette listening via video call. Emily is angry, but soon forgives him and gets her revenge by scaring Raj into thinking there is something morbid in her closet.

[ Battlefield ] ( Soldiers shout ) Soldier: Spread out! Get down! ( Laser fire ) ( Distant siren ) Soldier: What's wrong? Kanzo: Was that a child? ( Child pants ) Kanzo: Hey! You there, stop! Stop running! Kanzo: It's OK. I'm not going to hurt you. Just don't run. Soldier: Kanzo? Kanzo: I'll catch up. Soldier: There are clam drones two miles away. Kanzo: I know. I'll be fine. Just go. Kanzo: What are you doing out here, huh? Did you get lost? ( Rumbling ) Kanzo: Stay still. Stay absolutely still. ( Whirring ) ( Beeping ) Kanzo: I'm just scanning the ground. I think we've got company. Do you know what hand mines are? Kanzo: Well, in that case you know you've got to stand absolutely still. Right? Kanzo: Have you ever seen a hand mine? Where? Kanzo: OK. It's OK. Everything's going to be... ( Squelching ) ( Squelching and crunching ) ( Crunching ) Boy: Help me! Someone, please! Help me! HELP ME! ( Sonic screwdriver pulses ) The Doctor (O.C.): Your chances of survival are about one in a thousand. So here's what you do. You forget the thousand, and you concentrate on the one. Pick it up. I said, pick it up! The Doctor (O.C.): ( Echoing ) I'm straight ahead of you, about fifty feet. Can you see me? The Doctor: The device in your hand is creating an acoustic corridor, so that we can talk. Do you understand? Boy: Who are you? The Doctor: Oh, I'm just a passer-by. I was looking for a bookshop. How do you think I'm doing? Boy: This isn't a bookshop. The Doctor: No, this is a war. A very old one, going by the mix of technology. Which war is this? I get them all muddled up. Boy: It's just the war. The Doctor: Where am I? What planet is this? Boy: I don't understand. The Doctor: Well, neither do I. I try never to understand. It's called an open mind. Now, you have got to make a choice. Boy: A choice? The Doctor: Yes, you have got to decide that you're going to live. Survival is just a choice. Choose it now. Boy: If I move, they'll get me. The Doctor: I told you, you have one chance in a thousand. But one is all you ever need. What's your name? Come on, faith in the future. Introduce yourself! Tell me the name of the boy who isn't going to die today. Boy: Davros. My name is Davros. Hello? Are you still there? Please, you've got to help me. You said I could survive. You said you'd help me. Help me! [SCENE_BREAK] [ Night Club ] ( Moody music plays ) Singer: ♪ Father, why are all the women weeping? ♪ ( Hissing ) ( Shouting, glass smashes ) ( Hissing ) Colony Sarff: We are Colony Sarff. We bring harm. ( Hissing ) Colony Sarff: Where is the Doctor? Where is the Doctor? ( Ood whimpers ) ( Hissing ) ( Grunting ) ( Straining ) Colony Sarff: Where is the Doctor?! [SCENE_BREAK] [ The Shadow Proclamation ] Shadow Architect: Deploy the under-regiment across both sectors. That number of suicide moons cannot be ignored. Shadow Architect: Apparently we have a security breach. I won't ask how you got in here, but I will demand to know your business, Colony Sarff. Colony Sarff: Where is the Doctor? Shadow Architect: I've no idea. He's not our concern, and he's certainly not your employer's. Colony Sarff: The Doctor is required. Shadow Architect: For what? Colony Sarff, you need to tell me. What does Davros want with the Doctor? [SCENE_BREAK] [ Karn ] ( Hissing ) ( Rumbling ) Ohila: Welcome, Colony Sarff. We are the Sisterhood of Karn. If you do not leave our world immediately, we will take your skin. ( Voice echoes ) Colony Sarff: Where is the Doctor? Ohila: Where he always is. Right behind you, and one step ahead. Tread carefully when you seek the Doctor, Colony Sarff, or he will be the last thing you find. Colony: Davros, creator of the Daleks, dark Lord of Skaro. Ohila: What of him? Colony Sarff: Davros is dying. Ohila: Davros is ancient. He should have been dust centuries ago. Colony Sarff: He has a message for the Doctor. Ohila: Then you will give it to me. ( Aggressive hissing ) Ohila: Your powers mean nothing here. Give me the message and leave. Colony Sarff: Tell the Doctor, Davros knows. Davros remembers. Tell him he must face Davros one last time. ( Rumbling ) Colony Sarff: Davros knows. Davros remembers. ( Booming ) Ohila: Doctor? What have you done? [SCENE_BREAK] [ Davros' Room ] Davros: Doctor... Doctor... ( Steady beeping ) Doc-tor... Colony Sarff: You are dreaming, Lord Davros. Davros: No. I am anticipating. Colony Sarff: He cannot be found. Davros: Of course he can. He has a weakness. If you seek the Doctor, first seek his friends. ( Steady beeping ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Classroom ] ( Boy spits ) Ryan: Will I get it back after school? Children: Urgh! Clara: How will you know which one's yours? ( Laughter ) Clara: Fine, then. Right. Now, where was I? Jane Austen. Amazing writer, brilliant comic observer, and strictly among ourselves, a phenomenal kisser. Alison: Miss? Miss? Ryan: Miss? Alison: Is she OK? Clara: Everybody turn on their phones. News websites and Twitter. Ryan: Twitter? Clara: Hashtag: #ThePlanesHaveStopped Newsreader: Reports are coming in of planes hanging apparently motionless in the sky. Footage of passenger jets, which have seemingly come to a complete standstill in mid-air. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Classroom ] Mr. Dunlop: Miss Oswald, a call at the office. Clara: Yeah, that would probably be UNIT. Mr. Dunlop: They're telling me you're needed. They were going to put me through to the Prime Minister. Clara: Mister Dunlop, sorry. I have to take the rest of the day off owing to a, er, personal crisis. [SCENE_BREAK] [ EXT. school ] Clara: Yes. Yes, yes, yes, I'm coming. No, don't send a helicopter. Think it through. Newsreader (O.C.): Attempts at communications with the planes, with pilots, crew, passengers, all have failed. ( Newsreaders speak in various languages ) Newsreader (O.C.): .. family members with candlelight vigils around the world. ( Newsreader speaks in own language ) Meanwhile, reports are coming in from Caracas, Tel Aviv, Beijing. It seems no corner of the planet is unaffected. [SCENE_BREAK] [ UNIT HQ ] Kate: The planes aren't responding. No, none of them. It's radio silence. I've got to go. Tell the President I'll call him back. Kate: He's not answering his phone. Have you tried? Clara: We don't know enough yet. He doesn't appreciate gossip. Kate: Gossip? Clara: How many planes? Jac: 4,165 aircraft currently airborne. Kate: That's a lot of passengers. Clara: That's a lot of fuel. Kate: Oh, dear God. Yes, it is. Clara: OK, so, what could you do with 4,000 flying bombs? Jac: Ah, well, 439 nuclear power stations currently active. Kate: What else? Clara: I dunno. Er, fault lines. Earthquake, a tsunami? Jac: Running simulations now. Kate: So this is an attack? Clara: What kind of an attack advertises? Why show somebody what you can do? Why not just do it? What's actually happened to the planes? What are the pilots saying? Kate: We, we can't contact them. Jac: The planes haven't stopped. They're actually frozen. Like, frozen in time. Pardon my sci-fi, but this is beyond any human technology. Kate: OK, so we need the Doctor. Clara: Kate, we can't just phone the Doctor and bleat, he'll go Scottish. Come on. What have we got? What do we know? It's not an attack, it's not an invasion, because, well, that doesn't come with a fair warning. So, somebody needs our attention. Somebody who needs to put a gun to our heads to make us listen. Oh. Kate: Oh? Mike: We've got a message. The Doctor channel. Clara: Sorry, what? Kate: He never uses it. I doubt he remembers it even exists. Clara: Then who is it? Mike: Decrypting. We're getting text through, I think. Clara: Texting? Definitely not the Doctor. ( Beeping ) Text: You so fine. Kate: Have you got any more? Mike: Coming. Text: You blow my mind. Hey Missy, you so fine, you so fine, you blow my mind! Hey Missy!!! Missy (on monitor): Today, I shall be talking to you out of the square window! Kate: What the hell was that? How did she do that? Jac: Dunno. Some sort of psychic projection, or something. Kate: Oh great, thanks. Missy (on monitor): OK, cutting to the chase. Not dead, back, big surprise, never mind. I'm in a lovely little square in one of your, oh, I don't know, hot countries. There's a light breeze coming from the east, this coffee is a buzz-monster in my brain, and I'm going to need eight snipers. Kate: Eight what? Missy (on monitor): Three for each heart, and two for my brain stem. You'll have to switch me off fast, before I can regenerate. How fast can you get here? Ooo, I'll need to arrange you a flight corridor. Kate: Why do you need snipers? Missy (on monitor): Because it's the only way she'll feel safe enough to talk to me. Shall we say four o'clock? [SCENE_BREAK] [ Plaza ] ( BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! ) Missy: Oh, saucy. ( Pigeons coo ) Missy: Go on, then. Missy: How's your boyfriend? Still tremendously dead, I expect. Clara: Still dead, yeah. How come you're still alive? Missy: Death is for other people, dear. Would you like to sit in the shade? I know how you humans burn. ( Controller beeps ) ( Plane engine approaches ) ( Controller beeps ) Missy: Better? I expect you've tried to contact him by now. Well, you should know, I can't find him either. No one can. Clara: That happens, now and then. Missy: Not like this. Missy: It's a confession dial. Clara: A what? Missy: In your terms, a will. The Last Will and Testament of the Time Lord known as the Doctor, to be delivered, according to ancient tradition, to his closest friend, on the eve of his final day. Missy: Ah, ah! What are you doing? Clara: You said... I thought... Missy: No, no, no, no, no. It was delivered to me. Clara: You? Missy: Well of course it was sent to me. What have you got to do with it? I'm his friend. You're just... Clara: I'm just what? Missy: See that couple over there? Missy: You're the puppy. Clara: Since when do you care about the Doctor? Missy: Since always. Since the Cloister Wars. Since the night he stole the moon and the President's wife. Since he was a little girl. One of those was a lie. Can you guess which one? Clara: He's not your friend. You keep trying to kill him. Missy: He keeps trying to kill me. It's sort of our texting. We've been at it for ages. Clara: Mmm. Must be love. Missy: Oh, don't be disgusting. We're Time Lords, not animals. Try, nano-brain, to rise above the reproductive frenzy of your noisy little food chain, and contemplate friendship. A friendship older than your civilisation, and infinitely more complex. Clara: So the Doctor is your bezzy mate and I'm supposed to believe that you've turned good? Missy: Good? ( She fires ) Soldier (O.C.): Man down! Clara: No! Soldier (O.C.): Man down! [SCENE_BREAK] [ UNIT HQ ] Kate: Don't shoot her. Do not shoot her! [SCENE_BREAK] [ Plaza ] Missy: By the ring on his finger, he was married, and I, I think I detected some baby leakage on his jacket, so he had a family. No, I've not "turned good". ( She fires ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ UNIT HQ ] Kate: Nobody fire! [SCENE_BREAK] [ Plaza ] Missy: Ooh, wow, I'm on a roll. Thanks for bringing spares. Clara: Stop it. Just stop it. Don't shoot anybody else! Missy: Oi, you, sweaty one, on your knees. Let's have a goodbye selfie for your kids. Clara: Missy, nobody else! Missy: Say something nice. Clara: No. Missy: I'll kill everyone in this square. Clara: Start with me. Then what, hey? You came here for my help. Missy: Because the Doctor is in danger. Clara: Make me believe you. Missy: How? Clara: Release the planes. Missy: The planes are keeping me alive. I mean, there's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight naughty little snipers ready to kill me. Clara: Yeah. On my command. Clara: Your best friend is in danger. Show me you care. Make me believe. ( Controller beeps ) ( Plane engine recedes ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ UNIT HQ ] Jac: The planes! The planes are all moving again. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Plaza ] Missy: It's only a basic Time Stop. Parlour trick. Couldn't have done anything with them anyway. Clara: What does it say? Missy: What does what say? Clara: His confession. Missy: It will only open when he's dead. Clara: Then it won't open, will it? Missy: Question. If the Doctor has one last night to live, if he's certain he's facing the end of his life, where, in all of space and time, would he go? Clara: Here. ( CLAP! ) Missy: Well, yes, Earth, obviously! But where? When? ( CLAP! CLAP! ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ UNIT HQ ] Jac: The algorithm generates probabilities based on crisis points, anomalies, anachronisms, keywords. Kate: Such as? Jac: "Blue box", "Doctor"... ( CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! ) Jac: There we go. San Martino, Troy, multiples for New York, [SCENE_BREAK] [ Plaza ] JAC (O.C.) And three possible versions of Atlantis. It's easier than you'd think. The Doctor makes a lot of noise and he loves to make an entrance. ( CLAP! ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ UNIT HQ ] Kate: But which one is the one? Where is he now? [SCENE_BREAK] [ Plaza ] Clara: How's a Time Lord supposed to die? Missy: Meditation. Repentance and acceptance. [SCENE_BREAK] [ UNIT HQ ] Missy (on screen): Contemplation of the absolute. Clara (on screen): Great, thanks. Change the algorithm. Eliminate the crisis points. Where is the Doctor making the most noise, but there isn't any crisis? [SCENE_BREAK] [ Plaza ] Clara: We're looking for a party! ( Beeping ) ( Electric guitar chord ) Clara: There he is. "Do not go gentle into that good night." Missy: You go, girl! ( Missy whoops ) ( Crowd cheering ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Castle Ramparts ] Missy: Whoo, Mummy, do it again! Vortex manipulators - yours is slaved to mine. Cheap and nasty time travel. Bors: Face me, Magician! Face me! Missy: You probably want to throw up, don't you? Pick a local. According to you, this is where the Doctor is. Clara: OK, how do we find him? How do we know what we're looking for? Missy: Anachronisms. The slightest, tiniest... ( Electric guitar riff ) .. anachronism. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Castle Courtyard ] ( Guitar solo ) ( Crowd cheers ) ( Feedback squeals ) Bors: Dude! What is that? The Doctor: You said you wanted an axe fight. ( Silence ) The Doctor: Oh, come on. In a few hundred years, that'll be really funny. It's a slow burner. Bors: A musical instrument is not an axe. The Doctor: Yes, and a daffodil is not a broadsword, but I still won the last round! ( Crowd cheers ) The Doctor: What do you think of my tank? Don't worry, it isn't loaded. Bors: I don't like it. The Doctor: No, neither do I. I bought it for my fish. Bors: Your fish? The Doctor: I may have ordered... online! ( Silence ) The Doctor: Oh, come on. Fish? Tank? Honestly, this stuff will be hilarious in a very few hundred years. Do please stick around. Clara: What's the matter with him? He's never like this. Missy: Oh, you really are new, aren't you? Clara: Wait, hang on. Did he just hear that? He doesn't know we're here, does he? ( Guitar intro to 'Pretty Woman' ) The Doctor: Now, you lot. I have been here all day, and it's been a great day! Bors: You've been here for three weeks. The Doctor: Three weeks? It must be nearly bedtime. Well, we've partied. ( Cheering ) The Doctor: Yes! I helped you dig a well, with a first-class, child-friendly visitor's centre! I've given you some top-notch maths tuition in a fun but relevant way. And I have also introduced the word "dude" several centuries early. Let me hear you! All: Dude! The Doctor: Are you a Renaissance...? All: Dude! The Doctor: Are you a Medieval...? All: Dude! The Doctor: I am a dragon-slaying...? All: Dude! The Doctor: We are all the young...? All: Dudes! The Doctor: I like it. But I've got some sad news for you, dudes. Tonight, I'm going to have to leave you. ( Crowd boos ) The Doctor: But before I do, I'd like you to meet a couple of friends of mine. ( Crowd oohs ) ( Applause and cheering ) Clara: How did you know I was here? Did you see me? The Doctor: When do I not see you? Clara: What, one face in all of that crowd? The Doctor: There was a crowd, too? Clara: Wow, we're doing charm as well, now, are we? Which one of us is dying? Clara: OK. And we're doing hugging now, too. I can't keep up. The Doctor: Well, you know what they say. Hugging is a great way to hide your face. Clara: OK, look. I guessed a party, but not like this. What is this? This isn't you. The Doctor: I spent all day yesterday in a bow tie, the day before in a long scarf. It's my party, and all of me is invited. ( Guitar riff ) Missy: What the hell are you up to, man? The Doctor: It's the wicked stepmother! Everyone hiss! ( Crowd hisses ) Missy: Apparently, you think you're going to die tomorrow. The Doctor: Well, I've got some good news about that. Missy: Oh, yeah? The Doctor: It's still today! Missy: Oh, that's very good. ( Wah-wah-wah! Choking ) The Doctor: Bors. Is it a marble again? Did you swallow one of the marbles I gave you? Don't swallow marbles! ( Hissing ) Colony Sarff: Doctor. Your friends have led me to you. You will come. The Doctor: Says you and whose army? ( Screaming ) ( Hissing ) The Doctor: Nobody dies here. Not one person, not one of my friends, do you understand? Colony Sarff: Davros, creator of the Daleks, dark lord of Skaro, is dying. The Doctor: So I hear. Colony Sarff: He would speak with you again on the last night of his life. The Doctor: Then you will harm nobody in this place. Not one person. Are we very, very clear? ( Hissing ) Colony Sarff: Are you so dangerous, little man? The Doctor: You want to know how dangerous I am? Davros sent you. You know how stupid you are? You came! ( He hisses ) The Doctor: Is that supposed to frighten me? Snake nest in a dress? Now, explain... politely. Davros is my arch-enemy. Why would I want to talk to him? Missy: No, wait, hang on a minute. Davros is your arch-enemy now? The Doctor: Hush! Missy: I'll scratch his eye out. Colony Sarff: Davros knows. Davros remembers. Clara: That's yours. The Doctor: Er, it was. Clara: Was? The Doctor: I don't have a screwdriver any more. Missy: Ooo. Never seen that before. Doctor, the look on your face. What is that? Clara: Shame. You're ashamed. Doctor? What have you done? Young Davros: Please, you've got to help me. You said I could survive! You said you'd help me! Help me! ( The TARDIS dematerialises. ) The Doctor: Is your ship in orbit? Missy: It's a trap. Colony Sarff: Prepare yourself for teleport. Missy: Doctor, listen to me. I know traps, traps are my flirting. This is a trap. The Doctor: I am prepared. Missy: You sent me your confession dial! You threw yourself a three-week party. You know what this is. The Doctor: Yes. Goodbye. ( Softly ) Goodbye, Clara. ( Hissing ) Clara: We're coming with him. Both of us, her and me. The Doctor: No! No, no, no. Under no circumstances! What are you doing now? Colony Sarff: Voting. We are a democracy. ( Hissing ) It is agreed. The Doctor: No, no, no! I forbid it, no! No! No! No! No! ( Silence ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Castle ] Bors: Inform High Command. It is located. The TARDIS is located. Dalek (O.C.): The TARDIS will be procured. Daleks (O.C.): Procure the TARDIS. Procure the TARDIS. Procure. Procure. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Sarff's Spaceship ] The Doctor: Davros is the child of war, a war that wouldn't end. A thousand years of fighting, till nobody could remember why. So Davros, he created a new kind of warrior: one that wouldn't bother with that question. A mutant in a tank that would never, ever stop. And they never did. Clara: The Daleks? The Doctor: How scared must you be to seal every one of your own kind inside a tank? Davros made the Daleks, but who made Davros? ( Whooshing ) Missy: OK, great. Coming out of hyperspace. The Doctor: So that's where he ended up. Clara: What is that? The Doctor: I don't know. A hospital? [SCENE_BREAK] [ Empty room ] ( Missy sings ) Clara: How long have we been waiting? The Doctor: Who knows? It's always the way with hospitals. Colony: You will come. You will stay. Missy: Fair enough. Clara: Doctor. You sent Missy your confession dial. The Doctor: Well, we've known each other a long time. She's one of my own people. Clara: My point is, we both saw her die on Earth, ages ago. And obviously you knew that wasn't real. Or worse, hoped it wasn't. Either way, I think you've been lying. The Doctor: I'm sorry. Clara: Don't apologise. Make it up to me. There, see? Ha. Now you have to come back. ( Hissing ) The Doctor: Gravity. Missy: I know. Clara: Gravity? Missy: Oh, yeah. You know what's wrong with the gravity in here? Clara: No. Missy: Nothing. It's perfect. But this is a space station, so the gravity should be artificial, all coppery-smelling round the edges, a tiny bit sexy. But this feels real, man. Like a planet. Clara: How can you and the Doctor be friends? Missy: Why shouldn't we be? Clara: You spend all your time fighting. Missy: Exactly. Missy: You know what this airlock is? I'll tell you. It's pants. Clara: What do you mean? Missy: I mean that today might be the day. Clara: What day? Missy: The day I kill you. Clara: What are you doing? Are you opening it? Missy: Yeah, course. Clara: Missy, we'll get sucked out! Missy: You and me together, off we go. Let's make jam! ( Alarm blares ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Davros' room ] Davros: Doctor? Davros: Doctor. The Doctor: Davros. Davros: I approve of your new face, Doctor. So much more like mine. Colony Sarff, untie our guest's hands. ( Hissing ) Davros: You may leave us. Davros: You came, then. The Doctor: Clearly. Davros: Did you suspect a trap? The Doctor: I still do. Davros: Then why are you here? Did you miss our conversations? Fourth Doctor: If you had created a virus in your laboratory... Fifth Doctor: I'm not here as your prisoner, Davros... Seventh Doctor: Unimaginable power! Unlimited rice pudding! Tenth Doctor: Everything we saw. Everything we lost. Sixth Doctor: But did you bother to tell anyone they might be eating their own relatives? Twelfth Doctor: Yes, yes, yes, OK, you've made your point. Davros: Have I? The Doctor 4 (on screen): If someone who knew the future pointed out a child to you, and told you that that child would grow up totally evil, to be a ruthless dictator who would destroy millions of lives, could you then kill that child? The Doctor: I get the point. Davros: Do you know why you came, Doctor? You have a sense of duty. Of guilt, perhaps. And certainly of shame. The Doctor: You flatter me. Davros: Pity. I intended to accuse. I believe that for the ultimate good of the universe, I was right to create the Daleks. The Doctor: You were very wrong. Davros: This is the argument we've had since we met. The Doctor: It ended in the Time War. Davros: It survived the Time War. But it will end tonight. That is why you are here. ( Alarm blares ) Davros: It seems your friends have gone exploring. [SCENE_BREAK] [ EXT. Hospital ] Missy: It's warm, isn't it? For deep space, anyway. Clara: What are you doing? Missy: Treading softly. Clara: What, there's a floor? Missy: No. No, there's ground. This is the ground. Missy: We're on a planet. And that is not a space station. That is a building. And the rest of the planet, the whole thing, is invisible. Clara: That's ridiculous. Missy: Well, yes, of course it is. I mean, how would you ever find your glasses? Or the little girl's room? And what if you kissed an ugly? Unless, when you're part of the atmosphere, you start syncing with the spectrum. Clara: Why would anybody hide a whole planet? Missy: That would rather depend on the planet, dear. Missy: No. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Davros' room ] The Doctor: No! [SCENE_BREAK] [ Planet surface ] Missy: They've built it again. They've brought it back. No, no. No! Clara: What? What is it? Where are we? [SCENE_BREAK] [ Davros' room ] The Doctor: Skaro! You've brought me to Skaro. Davros: Where does an old man go to die, but with his children? [SCENE_BREAK] [ Planet surface ] Clara: What's Skaro? Missy: The beginning. Where it all started. This is the planet of the Daleks! Dalek: Correct. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Davros' room ] The Doctor: Clara! Davros: You cannot help her now, Doctor. ( He hammers on door ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Control room ] Clara: The TARDIS. How did she get here? Dalek Supreme: It has been procured. ( Whirring ) Clara: Yeah? Yeah, well, if you're trying to get inside, you can't. Nothing can enter the TARDIS. Dalek Supreme: The TARDIS will not be entered. The TARDIS will be destroyed. Clara: Yeah, well, good luck, because she's indestructible. Missy: Did the Doctor tell you that? Because you should never believe a man about a vehicle. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Davros' room ] The Doctor: What are they going to do? Tell me, what? Davros: Who can say? You know what children are like. Missy (on screen): Daleks! Pay attention! The Doctor (Whispers): Don't. Just don't. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Control room - Davros' room ] Missy: You know what this is? This thing you're about to destroy? I'll tell you! It's the dog's unmentionables. And you know all about those, don't you? Missy: This is a TARDIS. With this, you can go anywhere, do anything, kill anyone. With this, the Daleks can be more powerful than ever before. Missy: You just need one thing. The Doctor: No. Missy, no! Missy: Me. You need me. A Time Lady, to show you how it works. With this and with me, everything can be yours. And you can burn it all, for ever and ever and ever. Or would you rather just kill me? Dalek Supreme: Maximum extermination. Dalek: Exterminate. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Davros' room ] The Doctor: Please! Please, I'm begging you. Please, please. Please, save Clara. Davros: I gave the Daleks life. I do not control them. The Doctor: Oh, Clara. Oh, my Clara. Davros: See how they play with her. See how they toy. They want her to run. They need her to run. Do you feel their need, Doctor? Their blood is screaming kill, kill, kill! Hunter and prey, held in the ecstasy of crisis. Is this not life at its purest? [SCENE_BREAK] [ Control room ] Dalek: Exterminate! Exterminate! ( Clara screams ) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Davros' room ] The Doctor: Why have I ever let you live? Davros: Compassion, Doctor. It has always been your greatest indulgence. Let this be my final victory. Let me hear you say it, just once. "Compassion... is... wrong." [SCENE_BREAK] [ Control room ] Dalek Supreme: Destroy the TARDIS! Daleks: Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! [SCENE_BREAK] [ Battlefield ] Young Davros: Help me! You can't leave me! You promised. You said I had a chance. ( Footsteps ) Young Davros: Who are you? I don't get it. How did you get there? The Doctor: From the future. Young Davros: Are you going to save me? The Doctor: I'm going to save my friend the only way I can. The Doctor: Exterminate! Imagine -- to hold in your hand the heartbeat of every Dalek. Genocide in a moment. So many backs with a single knife. Dalek: All praise Davros! Are you ready to be a god?

Plan: A: a young Davros; Q: Who is the boy that the Doctor tries to rescue? A: Earth; Q: Where is Clara summoned by UNIT? A: Clara; Q: Who is summoned by UNIT when all of the world's aircraft freeze in the sky? A: the phenomenon; Q: What is Missy causing? A: his confession dial; Q: What is the last will and testament of the Doctor called? A: 1138; Q: In what year did the Doctor spend three weeks throwing a party? A: three weeks; Q: How long did the Doctor spend throwing a party in Essex? A: three; Q: How many weeks has the Doctor spent in Essex? A: Colony Sarff; Q: Who is the agent of Davros? A: the elderly Davros; Q: Who wants to see the Doctor? A: a hospital space station; Q: Where does Colony Sarff take Clara and Missy? A: an invisible planet; Q: Where is the hospital space station located? A: Skaro; Q: What planet is the Daleks' home planet? A: the TARDIS; Q: What do the Daleks destroy? A: the battlefield; Q: Where does the Doctor return to after the Daleks kill Clara and Missy? A: a Dalek weapon; Q: What does the Doctor use to save his friend? Summary: The Doctor attempts to rescue a boy on a battlefield, but upon discovering that the boy is a young Davros , abandons him and goes missing. On Earth, Clara is summoned by UNIT when all of the world's aircraft freeze in the sky, and they discover Missy is causing the phenomenon. Missy has the last will and testament of the Doctor, called his confession dial, and tells Clara that they must search for him. They trace him to Essex in 1138, where he has spent three weeks throwing a party. When Clara and Missy reunite with the Doctor, an agent of Davros called Colony Sarff arrives and explains that the elderly Davros wishes to see the Doctor, before taking the three to a hospital space station. Clara and Missy discover the station is a building on an invisible planet, but as the landscape reappears, Missy identifies the planet as Skaro , the home planet of the Daleks . They are captured by the Daleks, who appear to kill them and destroy the TARDIS. The Doctor returns to the battlefield, holding a Dalek weapon, preparing to save his friend.

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Zelena: You want to come with me to Storybrooke. Hades: All I care about is the future were we... might be a family. Cora: Your were sisters once. Just promise me you'll hold on to each other. Regina: I think you have another love to find. Hades. Go to him. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Underworld - Present ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Emma, Hook, David, Henry and Regina are by the fallen clock-tower. It's night time) Emma: You told her what? Regina: To give him a chance. David: And you thought that was a good idea because? Regina: (Looks at David) Because we're family. And I'm trying to trust Zelena. She thinks she can change Hades. Hook: I'm sorry, luv, I missed the part where Zelena changed. Regina: You'd think the ex-pirate with a rum habit would cut my sister some slack. Hook: Well, you'd think that the Evil Queen would be smarter than to send the Wicked Witch to romance the most devious man alive. Emma: Easy, guys. We're not gonna win the war against Hades if we use all our ammo on each other. Hades: (Walking towards them) The Savior has a point. Hook: What the hell are you doing here? Emma: Get behind me, kid. (Pushes Henry behind her) Hades: Oh, I didn't find you to hurt you. I came for your... (Sighs) Wow, this is hard. Help. David: What could you possibly want our help with? Hades: Simple. I went to meet Zelena for our date and found this. (Holds a piece of parchment up) Regina: (Steps forward and takes it. Opens and reads it) No. (Hands the parchment to Emma) Emma: (Reads it) Zelena, she's been kidnapped by Gold and Pan. Hades: They're asking for a meeting tomorrow morning. Emma: Gold wants you to tear up the contract for his unborn child. Regina: So, do it. I just got my sister back. I'm not going to lose her now. Hades: Neither will I. I'll give them what they want, but I know the Stiltskins and their tricks. They're not gonna keep their word. Not unless I have an ace up my sleeve. Regina: Luckily for you, you got one. Hades: I'm sorry. You've been Zelena's doting sister for all of what, three hours? No. Regina: Who's going to be more motivated than me? Hades: (Turns to face Emma) Emma. Emma: What? Why? Hades: If Zelena gets out of this alive, I'm prepared to offer you a deal. Hook: Don't trust a word he says, Emma. Regina: Now I agree with the pirate. Hades: You and I both know your family wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. If you help me save her, I'll take everyone's names off their headstones. Emma: So we can leave the Underworld. Hades: So, what do you say, Savior? Do you want to send your family home or not? [SCENE_BREAK] [ Maine - Past - 2009 ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Emma parks her yellow bug in a free spot in front of the same bar/grill that August took her to in season 1. The scene then flicks to her at the counter, holding an article about her being found as a baby, as she talks to the woman behind the counter) Emma: (Hands the woman the article) So, I just thought I'd ask on the off chance if there's someone still working here who remembers that baby being brought in. (A woman joins the line behind Emma and appears to be keeping an eye on Emma) Woman: 26 years ago? We can't keep a cook for six weeks. Emma: Maybe, like, a long-time customer. Woman: The food ain't good enough for that kind of loyalty. Sorry, honey, but you're not gonna find anyone here who remembers this. Emma: (Takes her food and walks round to the sitting area. She sits alone and looks back at the article) Cleo: (Walks over to Emma's table) Tough break, kid. Emma: (Looks up at surprised) What? Cleo: (Sits down) Heard what you were asking. You a reporter or something? Emma: No, nothing like that. Cleo: You're the baby, aren't you? From the article... you're the baby, right? Intuition. Mine's usually pretty good. And I'm sorry. It's hard not being able to find your family. Emma: (Stands up) It's just a dead end. I've had a lot of those. So, thanks for your concern, 'but I got this. Cleo: Can I say one more thing based on my intuition? Emma: Okay. Cleo: I look at you... young, pretty... Emma: Okay. Cleo: And I see someone who now... stop me if I'm wrong, but... someone who stole money from a couple convenience stores in Phoenix, got arrested, and took off on her bail. (Emma suddenly takes off an a run, and Cleo follows her calmly. Emma doges a moving car, gets into her bug and attempts to pull away, but her wheels screech instead. She opens her door to discover they have been booted.) Cleo: Well, hello there. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Underworld - Present ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Hades hangs a sign in the door of the Underworld Granny's, stating the diner is closed until further notice. He then shuts the blinds) Hades: Show yourself. (Gold and Peter Pan poof into the diner, Peter Pan holding onto Zelena. Hades turns to face them) Peter Pan: Glad to see you followed instructions and came alone. Hades: Zelena. Zelena: I tried to stop them, but... (Holds up her left hand which has the magic blocking cuff on) Hades: It's not your fault, it's theirs. Gold: Oh, is that so? Because we wouldn't be here if you'd ripped up that contract when I asked you to. Hades: (Magically produces the contract) You didn't have leverage. Gold: And now I do. So, you stand there and don't move except to rip up that contract. Then you get the witch. Hades: (Rips up the contract) There. Now give her back. Gold: Oh, you can have her back. Peter Pan: But we didn't say anything about her heart, did we? You see, my body is ready to walk the earth again. Except for one thing. A living heart. So, if you don't mind. (Raises his hand) Zelena: My heart has got a protection spell on it. Peter Pan: You may be good at magic, but we're better. (Peter Pan goes to remove Zelena's heart, but he is suddenly blasted back by a white jet of magic from Emma, who has entered through the back), Emma: (Walks towards Hades) You sure about that? Hades: I was beginning to think you couldn't get in. Emma: Locks don't bother me much. He ripped up the contract like you wanted, so leave. Peter Pan: Since when does the Savior answer to the king of Death? Emma: Since he's the one getting my family home. Gold: You picked the wrong team to back, Ms. Swan. You won't get what you want from him. Emma: Really? Because you just did, which is making me wonder why you're still here. Gold: Yeah, I suppose you have a point. (Poofs away) Peter Pan: Rumple. Zelena: Looks like your little boy only came for what he wanted. Emma: I don't think you're gonna be that lucky. Peter Pan: (Scoffs, lets go of Zelena and poofs away also) Hades: Zelena. (Walks up to her and removes the cuff) Are you all right? Zelena: You tore up that contract for me. I didn't think you'd do it. Hades: When will you believe I'd do anything for you? Zelena: (Chuckles) I think I'm getting there. (They share a true love's kiss and Hades gasps as his heart re-starts) Zelena: Is that? Hades: My heart. It's beating. (They kiss again, but are interrupted by a rumble) Emma: What the hell was that? Hades: (Exhales deeply) My banishment. It's over. I can finally leave this place for good. (Sighs) Very soon, at the cemetery, there will be a fully formed portal back to Storybrooke, but it will close at sunset. Emma: First things first. I held up my end of the deal. Now it's your turn. We're going home through that portal, too. All of us. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Underworld - Present ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Emma, Hook, David, Regina, Henry, Zelena and Hades are at the graveyard, where the fallen clock-tower has now appeared. The hands continuously tick) David: How'd it get here? Emma: The hands are moving. Is that a good sign or a bad one? Hades: It's a great one if you want to leave. When those hands spin fast enough in about an hour, it'll turn into an open portal back. Regina: Which we can't go through because of those. (Indicates to the graves) So, let's get on with it. Hades: Gladly. (Magically removes all their names from the graves) There. As promised. You're no longer tied to this realm. Zelena: I told you love could change him. Hook: I don't buy it. A man can't change that quickly. Emma: (Stands in front of Hook) We're free to go through the portal when it opens, which means it's time to split my heart so you can leave with us. Hook: (Smiles) Aye, luv. Emma: (Turns to Regina) Do it. (Regina takes Emma's heart, and Emma groans in pain. Regina splits the heart in two, hands Emma half and Emma attempts to put it in Hook's chest, but instead it doesn't work and she falls to the ground in pain. Hook steadies Emma, whilst Regina takes the other half and puts the heart back together) David: Emma. Henry: Mom! Emma: (Gasps) Why didn't it work? Hook: (Angry and looks at Hades) I told you we couldn't trust him. Hades: That wasn't me. I'm afraid there are laws of nature beyond even my control. David: No, it should work. I died. My wife's heart brought me back. Hades: How long were you dead? David: A minute or so, maybe less. Hades: Ah. I didn't think I recalled you entering this realm. Your soul never left your body. That's why it worked for you. Emma: (Holding onto Hook) So Hook's been down here too long? Hades: And his body's rotting away up there. Even if your soul could return to it, I doubt either of you could stomach the smell. Hook: Well, Emma, it appears you have to return without me. Emma: There has to be another way. Hook: Emma, please. Emma: You're telling me no one's gone to the Underworld and brought someone back? (Realizes it has happened before when Hades doesn't say anything) They have. Who? Who did? How? Hades: It was a long time ago, and it was a rumor. There's no proof it actually worked. Emma: Tell me everything. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Maine - Past - 2009 ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Cleo is handcuffing Emma to the bed so she can't escape) Cleo: Sorry about this, but I'm gonna go take a shower now. Emma: You gonna shower in that jacket? You probably sleep in that thing, too, huh? Cleo: Funny. Sit tight, watch some cartoons. I'll be right back. (Hands Emma the remote, before walking into the bathroom, closing the door and water can b heard running moments later) Emma: (Switches on the television, before finding a pin to unlock her handcuffs. She sneaks into the small dining area, and opens Cleo's purse, where she finds money and a picture of a young girl) Sorry, Tasha. But I think your mom will survive. (Goes to leave, but notices that a program which finds people has been left open on Cleo's computer is open) Cleo: (Comes out of the bathroom and notices that Emma is missing) Oh. (Runs back into the bathroom, grabs her jacket and runs to the dining room to leave, but sees Emma) Emma: (Turns to face her) Do you guys all get this special search thing? Oh, I dated a guy once who's good at picking locks. Cleo: You could've left. Emma: The Hancock County Courthouse has a file on me. I didn't know that. They could know something. They could know the name of the boy who brought me in. There... there could've been a note with me that was dropped into the file, something, anything. You could take me there. Cleo: Why would I do that? Emma: Because I can get out of handcuffs, and you'll have to track me down in every city and every hotel all the way across the country. Look, if you help me with this, I'll go quietly all the way to Phoenix. I just want some answers. Cleo: You want to know where you come from. Emma: (Nods) Cleo: Courthouse opens at 9:00 tomorrow. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Underworld - Present ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Emma, Hook, David, Henry, Regina and Zelena are with Hades in his private chambers. They are looking at myth that could help Hook and Emma) Hades: Orpheus and Eurydice. (Hands Henry the book) Henry: I know this myth. She died, and he followed her to the Underworld to get her back. Hades: These are the only two souls who ever escaped my realm. David: How? I thought you said that broke the laws of nature. Hades: Orpheus helped Eurydice escape by feeding her ambrosia, the food of the gods. Regina: And where exactly do you get some of that? 'Cause I don't recall seeing it on the menu at the Blind Witch's. (The scene switches to the group, who are now in the library, looking at the same elevator Emma and Regina tried to break into in 5x17. Hades removes the wall they couldn't, and reveals the shaft) Emma: (Holding Killian's hook) An elevator? I'm the Savior. I've got magic. Hades: And I'm the Lord of the Underworld. That should tell you something. The ambrosia, it's powerful, and like a petty spoiled child, it wants all the power for itself. Everything else is shut down below. There's no hopping in and out in a puff of smoke. This is the only way, and once you're down there, you're on your own. Emma: (Steps forward) And then what? We're knee deep in a field of ambrosia? Can't be that easy. Hades: I'm not really sure. Even I've never ventured that far down. Hook: So we're going to the one place in hell where even the devil is afraid to go. Zelena: Not hell and not the devil. Hades: And not because I'm afraid. There's a test to ensure that only those who are worthy of eating ambrosia can reach it, and it will require offering up your heart for judgment. Emma: Without magic, how am I gonna take out my own... Hades: (Cuts Emma off and takes her heart again) You're not. (Places her heart in a bag and holds it out to Emma) My gift to you. Take good care of it. Emma: (Takes the bag) Let's have this be the last time we do this today, okay? Hades: Just trying to help. Emma: So, failing this test has, what, fatal consequences? Hades: One would think. Hook: (Gently turns Emma so she is facing him) You don't have to do this, Swan. Emma: And you didn't have to sacrifice your life to save all of us from the Dark Ones. We're going. David: We'll be right here waiting for you. Emma: Regina... Regina: I know the drill. If you're not back by sunset... Emma: (Interrupts) Everybody leaves, promise me. Regina: You'll be back. Henry: (Steps forward) I love you, Mom. Emma: (Hugs him) I love you, too, kid. (Emma pulls back from the hug and looks at Hook, who nods. She then walks to the elevator and Hook follows her in, shutting the gate, before they start to go down) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Underworld - Present ] [SCENE_BREAK] (In the pawn shop, Gold enters the back of the shop to where Belle is sleeping under the curse. He attempts to waken her with true love's kiss, but it fails. He then hears a whoosh noise and walks back into the main part of the shop, where Peter Pan is standing) Peter Pan: She may not accept you for who you are, but I will. Despite your rude abandonment of me earlier. Gold: Touching, Papa. Yes, abandonment hurts, doesn't it? But with the contract gone, I only care about one thing... Getting Belle home so her father can wake her. Peter Pan: I'd love to help you make the journey. But that's going to be quite difficult since I didn't get the heart you promised me. Gold: (Laughs) Oh, there's the man I remember. Always thinking about what's in it for himself. Peter Pan: (Chuckles) There's something in it for you, too. (Magically produces a black box) Pandora's Box. You can keep her safe in here in exchange for a heart. Otherwise, you both might lose out and miss that portal home. Opening soon, but only till sunset. So, do we have a deal? Tick, tock. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Underworld - Present ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Regina, Henry, David, Hades and Zelena are still in the library, waiting for Hook and Emma to come back) Henry: (Sighs) We can't just sit around waiting for them to get back. Regina: We don't have a choice, Henry. The minute Emma and Hook get off this elevator, we're going straight through that portal. Henry: What about Operation Firebird? We can't leave the Underworld without helping the people trapped here. Regina: They were trapped here because of Hades. Who, fortunately for them, will no longer be a resident. Hades: She's right. The Underworld will function as it was meant to... A place for people to deal with their unfinished business without anyone getting in their way. Henry: Yeah. But a lot of the people down here don't even know what their unfinished business is. But maybe as the author, I can tell them. (The door opens, and Robin Hood enters, carrying baby Hood) Robin Hood: What's going on? David: Great. You got our message. Robin Hood: (Points at Zelena and Hades) What are they doing here? Zelena: Hello to you, too. Are you just gonna stand there, or are you gonna let our darling daughter see her mommy? Robin Hood: Regina. Regina: It's okay, Robin. As hard as this is to believe, they're actually helping us. Hades: We both want the same thing... To leave this place. David: It's true. He took our names off the tombstones. We can leave. Robin Hood: Well, then what are we still doing here? Zelena: Boy Scout's got a point. We could take the baby to the cemetery now and then all walk through as soon as it opens. David: Not without Emma and Hook. Regina: And Henry's right. We can still help people. Robin, take the baby to the portal. Robin Hood: No. I'm not leaving you in this place. He may be playing nice, but there's still plenty of people down here that have a grudge against you. Regina: Okay, then give the baby to Zelena. Robin Hood: Are you mad? Regina: We can trust her. Robin Hood: Maybe you can. Regina: Trust me. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't think it's what's best for your daughter. Robin Hood: (Kisses Baby Hood's head, before passing her to Zelena) Zelena: (Stops in front of Regina) Thank you. (Hugs her) (Zelena and Hades leave the library and Regina approaches Robin) Regina: Are you okay? Robin Hood: (Sighs) I just... I need a moment. (Goes behind a couple of bookshelves and tries to compose himself and he stiffens when he hears the floor creak) Who's there? (Turns around to face Gold) Gold: It's just me, Dearie. Don't worry. You'll remember none of this. (Takes Robin's heart) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Underworld - Present ] [SCENE_BREAK] (The elevator slowly comes to a jerky stop at the bottom. Emma's arm is linked through Hook's, and they try to stay stable) Hook: Bloody hell. You all right, luv? Emma: Looks like this is our stop. (Hook opens the gate for them, and they both step out. Emma switches on her torch and they begin to make their way through the dark tunnel) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Maine - Past - 2009 ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Emma and Cleo are inside the courthouse, as they wait for Emma's track records to be examined) Emma: How long could this take? You take a file out of the drawer, you hand it over. How hard is that? Maybe I can motivate them to speed up. (Stands up and walks to the desk) Cleo: Armor. Emma: What? Cleo: My jacket, the one you like to ridicule. It's my armor. Emma: What are you talking about? Cleo: (Stands beside Emma) You're not thinking clearly. You're emotional. It's what keeps getting you in trouble. Can I give you a piece of advice? You got to learn how to protect yourself. Look, whatever we find here, that ain't gonna be the end all be all. Find your armor. Clerk: (Walks out with Emma's file) Miss, I have your file. Emma: (Takes the file) It's too thin. (Opens it and sees the article) It's the same damn article. Cleo: (Picks up another sheet of paper) There's something on the boy who brought you in. Looks like he ran away and fell out of the system. Emma: The inventory of what I came in with. (Looks sad) Cleo: (Pats her back) I'm sorry. Emma: Something's missing. Can you just take another look? Clerk: That's all there is. Emma: Just look again. Clerk: Miss... Emma: Okay, you know what? I can look. CleoUh... Emma: (Tries to go behind the counter, but Cleo stops her) Clerk: Step back or I'll have to call security. Emma: (Shouting) I can just look through the file! Cleo: Emma, It's a dead end. Emma: You saw that folder. Things could fall out of the folder and other things. Cleo: Come on, you're grasping at straws. Emma: Straws are all I have! That's it! That's... straws are it. Cleo: (Places her hands on Emma's arms) Calm down. You said you would go quietly if we did this. We gave a day, we did it, now let's go, come on. Emma: I'm not giving up. Cleo: Maybe you should. But don't do it because we had a deal. Do it for yourself. Go back to Phoenix and start again, looking front ways this time. Once you've paid the price for everything you've done, you can start building a new life. Emma: You just want to drag my ass back to Arizona so you can get the money for bringing me in. Cleo: I didn't have to give up a whole damn day to do this for you, did I? I kept my word, now you're gonna keep yours. Hate me all you want, but tomorrow, we are going back to Phoenix. Do you understand? Emma: I understand. Cleo: Come on, kid. It's Arizona. (Starts walking away) It's not hell. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Underworld - Present ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Regina, Robin, and Henry are now out the front of the library. Henry is using his power as the author to help the residents of the Underworld learn what their unfinished business is) Henry: (Finishes writing Stealthy's page and hands it to him) Here you go, Stealthy, your unfinished business. Stealthy: (Scans his page) Oh, wow. I hadn't realized how much resentment I held against Bashful. Thank you. And, um, when you get back, can you tell my brothers I miss them? Henry: I will. Y-you know, Leroy... Grumpy... he talks about you a lot. Stealthy: (Smiles and walks away) David: (Exits the library) Henry: Any sign of Mom and Hook? David: No, but we still have some time before the portal even opens. Cruella De Vil: Don't count on it! (Walking towards them angrily, pushing the people aside) That's right, vermin. Scatter! (Stops in front of them) Regina: Sorry, Cruella, but I don't think your unfinished business is going to take you to any place you'd like. Cruella De Vil: Oh, I'm not here to collect my story. I want to stay in this marvelous realm. You see, with Hades departing, the Underworld is going to need a new ruler. David: You? Cruella De Vil: (Chuckles) It's the only upside to your daughter sentencing me to this fate. But the job would be meaningless without a citizenry to torment. David: Cruella, we're not gonna let you harm these people. Cruella De Vil: Oh, you think I'm just going to keep them here? Oh, no. I'm going to keep all of you here. It's only fair, considering it was your son who refused to write me back to life, and you, you dissolved my James, the best toy in the whole playpen. Regina: I'm still waiting to hear how you're going to stop us from leaving, Fuzzy. Because all your magic can do is make a dog roll over and beg. Cruella De Vil: True. I don't have the magic to keep you all penned in here. Blind Witch: (Appears beside Cruella) But I do. (Uses her magic to open the library doors, and force the four into it, before locking them in) David: (Goes to try and open the doors) Regina: Out of the way, David. (Creates a fireball) You forced my hand, kid eater! (She throws her fireball, but it fails to open the door) Robin Hood: Regina! Regina: What the hell? Cruella De Vil: That's right. No one's getting out before sunset when the portal closes, and then no one's getting out. Blind Witch: Consider it payback, Regina! For tricking those children into burning me in my own oven. Cruella De Vil: Ta-ta! Oh, it's going to be a nice eternity after all. At least for us. (Chuckles) (The Blind Witch and Cruella walk off together) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Underworld - Present ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Emma and Hook finally make it out of the tunnel. They come across a stone table with brass scales on. Emma attempts to read the writing, but doesn't understand the Greek ruins) Emma: The instructions couldn't be in English? Hook: (Reads it with ease) "Only a heart filled with true love can pass." Emma: (Looks at him in surprise) Seriously? Hook: You'd be surprised what they teach you in the Royal Navy. The only question is, what the bloody hell does it mean? Emma: I think I know. I think I have to weigh my heart to see if my love for you is true. (Looks at Hook) What? Hook: Are you saying that what we share is... Emma: Well, we're about to find out. Hook: I know you love me. But true love is the rarest magic of all. Are you certain? Emma: I mean, honestly, I'm not sure, but who could be? We have to try. Hook: Why can you only admit how you feel when one of us is facing certain death? Emma: I don't know. (Half chuckles and half sighs) I guess my armor's been on for such a long time that I... sometimes I forget I don't need it with you. (Smiles at him) Hook: (Chuckles) Emma: (Removes her heart from the bag) Here goes. (Hook takes a step back and Emma slowly places her heart on the scales and steps back also. They stand looking at the scale and nothing happens.) Hook: It didn't bloody work. Emma: (Suddenly lets out a sharp and pained gasp) Hook: (Tries to catch her as she falls to the ground in pain) Emma, what's wrong? Emma: (Struggling to speak from the pain) The pedestal. Get my heart off. Hook: (Goes to take her heart off, but is suddenly engulfed by flames) Aah! Emma: Killian. Killian! Hook: Get your heart! Aah! (Emma looks between Hook and her heart for a few moments, before suddenly running and tackling Hook, removing him from the fire. They fall to the ground, with Emma half on top of Hook, breathing heavily. The door to the Ambrosia tree opens and they look up in surprise) Emma: What the hell is that? Hook: It's true love. (They both look at one another and he smiles) Emma, you chose me. That was the test. (Emma smiles at him as well, before they move to sit up) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Maine - Past - 2009 ] [SCENE_BREAK] (It's the middle of the night and Emma is watching Cleo to make sure she is really asleep, before she puts her glasses on and carefully gets out of bed. The scene then changes to Emma opening the drawer in the courthouse, looking for her file. Just as she goes to open her file, she hears a door creak, and she grabs a blunt weapon. She hides behind a wall as footsteps approach. Emma then jumps out and comes face to face with Cleo) Emma: Oh, God! Geez. Cleo, you scared the hell out of me. Cleo: (Grabs the tool from Emma) What are you doing? Emma: I know we had a deal, but I can't... Cleo: Yes, you can, and you will. Emma: You want your bail money that bad? Did you call security? (She is slapped across the face). Ow! Cleo: Do you think a security guard is gonna show up and ask to see my license and give me my money? Emma: Damn it. Cleo: All they're gonna see is two moron criminals on government property asking to get shot. Emma: Then why are you here? Cleo: Look, I'm sure that your parents had reasons they gave you up, okay? But you finding out, what good is that gonna do you? They would want you to focus on what you've got now. Emma: How do you know what my parents would want? Cleo: Because I know things, and sometimes you would do yourself some good listening to me. Emma, look what I'm risking being here. Come on, let's go. (They go to leave, but police sirens come from outside.) Man: This is the police! Cleo: Okay, come on. Damn it. (Starts running and Emma follows her) Man: Come out with your hands over your head! Cleo: Stand back. (Kicks a window open) (The police enter the building) Police Officer: I'll get your back. (Cleo continues to smash the glass, and the sirens continue to grow. Cleo jumps from the window and Emma follows her, before they take off on a run) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Underworld - Present ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Hook and Emma run into the Ambrosia chamber, and see that all the fruit is dead and the tree has been cut.) Emma: No. (Picks up an Ambrosia and it turns to dust) The ambrosia are dead. Hook: And have been for some time. (Touches the trunk) Emma: Someone cut it. Hook: Not somebody. Hades. I knew we couldn't trust him. Emma: Of course we couldn't. Hook: Hades probably did this ages ago when Orpheus and Eurydice used them to escape. Emma: Then why lie to us? Why send us after dead fruit? Hook: Because he doesn't want us coming with him to Storybrooke. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Underworld - Present ] [SCENE_BREAK] (David, Henry, Robin and Regina are still trapped inside library. David is trying to get out by the window, whilst Regina looks like she is contemplating something) Regina: I don't get it. The Blind Witch's spells are always half-baked. Robin Hood: Unless this isn't her spell. Regina: Hades. He wants us trapped in here. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Underworld - Present ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Zelena and Hades are in the graveyard waiting for the portal to open. Zelena is holding Baby Hood. The portal opens) Hades: It's open now, but it won't stay open much longer... 15 minutes tops. Zelena: (Looks behind her) They should've been here by now. Hades: I don't know what's keeping them, but we can't wait. (The ground shakes) Zelena, we don't have time. Zelena: I can't leave my sister here. Hades: We've done everything we can for your friends. They're heroes. They'll get here in time. Zelena: Do you really think so? Hades: (Scoffs) Without me in their way, what could possibly stop them? Zelena: All right, then. Let's go. (Hades helps Zelena through the portal, before following her) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Underworld - Present ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Gold enters the pawn shop were Peter Pan is waiting for him) Peter Pan: Where have you been? We're running out of time. Gold: Still can't bring yourself to trust little Rumple, can you, Papa? Peter Pan: You always were a touchy boy. (Rumbling) I take it that means it's not going to be open much longer. Gold: (Peers in at the heart in the pouch) Peter Pan: Shall we? Gold: Not quite yet. Timing is everything. Have patience, Papa. (The rumbling continues and Pan looks around slightly nervously.) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Underworld - Present ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Emma and Hook are still in the chamber. Emma is on her hands and knees looking for anything from the Ambrosia tree that could save Hook) Emma: There must be seeds or clippings or something we could use to help save you. Hook: Hades tricked us into coming down here. There's no telling what he's done to your family, or what he'll do if he reaches Storybrooke. (As Emma stands a strong rumbling comes, knocking them both off balance.) Hook: We need to get out of here. Emma: Not without the ambrosia. It's the only way we can... Hook: We'll find another way up, I promise. But we have to go. (They both turn and run out of the chamber) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Maine - Past - 2009 ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Emma and Cleo are running down an alleyway. The sirens can still be heard. Cleo grunts and collapses against a wall. Her hand is covered in blood) Cleo: (In pain) Ohh! Emma: Blood. I didn't hear a shot. Cleo: It's not a shot. (Groans and leans against the wall, with a shard of glass stuck in her stomach) Emma: (Bends down next to her) Glass from the window. I'm so sorry. I didn't... (Looks in the direction of the wailing sirens) An ambulance. You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be fine. Cleo: It's not an ambulance. That's the cops. Don't get caught here. Emma: They'll be able to help you. And I'll call your family. Cleo: I have no family. Emma: Your little girl. I saw the picture. Cleo: She has no idea who I am. Emma: What? Cleo: I took that 10 years ago from across the street. Emma: You gave her up. Just like I was. Cleo: You're holding on too tight. Emma, let go. Let go. (Dies) (The sirens stop and the doors open. Emma stands up and looks in the direction of where the noise is coming from.) Man: Over here! We got blood! And they went this way! Emma: (Exhales sharply before running away) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Underworld - Present ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Emma and Hook are holding hands as they run back down the tunnel and towards the elevator. Emma goes to pull him in, but he lets go of her hand and stops) Emma: Come on, we don't have that much time before the portal closes. (Turns to face him) What? Hook: (Looks sad and tries to smile) I'm not going up with you. I never was. We're never gonna find anything up there to save me. Emma: But you said... Hook: It was the only way I could get you to leave that chamber. Emma: No. Killian, I came to the Underworld to save you. I'm not going back without you. (Tries to pull him into the elevator again) Hook: (Doesn't budge) I'm afraid we don't have that choice, luv. Look. I just want to say my goodbyes down here without everyone watching. (Sadly smiles) Emma: (Tearing up) No. Hook: We've already had more time than we were ever meant to. Emma: That's not true. Hook: We both know it is. You should have let me go in Camelot. Don't make that mistake again. Emma: I just... (Voice breaking) I don't know how to say goodbye. Hook: Well, then don't. (Inhales shallowly, steps forward and places his hand on her cheek) Just promise me one thing. If I helped take off that armor, don't... put it back on just because you're gonna lose me. (Has tears falling from his eyes and pulls her gently against him) Emma: (Crying as well) I promise. (Sobs quietly and pulls back) But then you have to promise me something, too. Don't let me be your unfinished business. Move on from here. Don't wait for me to show up. Hook: Aye, luv. I think I can manage that. (They look at one another for a few moments, before Hook gently guides her into the elevator and pulls down the gate. Emma stops him halfway, both still crying) Hook: I love you. (Moves towards her) Emma: (Crying) I love you, too. (They kiss passionately, holding one another tightly. Hook is the one to break away and he gives her a small smile and shuts the gate all the way. Emma grabs onto his hand as the elevator slowly begins to take her up. She continues to look at him as he steps forward and kisses her hand three times. They both try to grab onto one another's hand again, but she's too high. Emma slowly disappears from his sight, and he continues to look up, a tear rolling down his cheek) [SCENE_BREAK] [ Boston - Past - 2010 ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Emma is sat in her yellow bug on a busy street. She is on the phone to someone as she flicks through a file) Emma: Yes, sir, I'm on the trail. You'll have your skip by tonight, and then the next one... yeah, no, I know. I know it's a trial period, but you'll see I've got this. I can do it. Okay. (Sees a girl walk past her car) Oh, I got to go. Bye. (Hangs up the phone, gets out of the car with the file and follows the young girl into the shop) Hi. Tasha: Hi. Can I help you? Emma: Maybe. (Hands her the photo that Cleo kept of her in her purse) Tasha: Where did you get this? Emma: So, it's you? Tasha: Uh... Emma: Tasha Morris? Tasha: I've never seen this picture before, but yeah, that looks like me. Am I in some kind of trouble? Emma: (Smiles sadly) Here's the thing. I... knew your birth mother, Cleo Fox. Tasha: Oh. Oh, my God. Emma: (Places the file, which turns out to be Cleo's in front of Tasha) I collected everything I could find about her. I have access to some records from work. I just thought... you might want to know where you came from. Tasha: (Happy) Is... is she looking for me? Emma: (Tears up) She's... Tasha: (Smile fades) Oh. Emma: I'm sorry. Tasha: Thanks. Emma: (Goes to leave) Tasha: Hey. Thank you so much. Emma: (Chuckles sadly. She goes to leave, but the red leather jacket catches her eye) Hey. Could you ring this up for me? Tasha: Yeah, of course. Emma: (Takes the red jacket and puts it on) I got to get to work. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Underworld - Present ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Emma is in the elevator as it comes up to the top. She is still visibly upset. The doors open and she lifts the gate and steps out. David, Henry, Robin and Regina turn to face her, surprised) Henry: Mom. Emma: (Voice breaks and she hugs him) Henry. David: Emma, where's Hook? Emma: I'll explain later. We have to hurry to get to the thing. Regina: We can't. The Blind Witch cast a spell trapping us here. Emma: Let me guess, she got it from Hades. This whole thing has been a setup to keep us trapped in the Underworld. David: You mean, the ambrosia... Emma: It wasn't there. Henry: So, Hook... he... he can't leave? Emma: He can move on. But he wanted to make sure that we all got out even if he couldn't. Regina: Well, then, let's give him his wish. Emma: Yeah. (Emma and Regina use their magic and manage to blast open the library doors) Henry: You did it. David: Come on, it's getting late. Emma: Let's get out of here. Henry: (Grabs his backpack, and picks up the book with all the finished loose pages. He sets it down in plain sight) People will find them. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Underworld - Present ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Pan and Gold are still in the pawn shop) Peter Pan: It's nearly time. We should go. We don't want to miss our ticket home. Gold: (Pulls out the heart) Now... are you ready? Peter Pan: Yes. Thank you, son. Gold: Pleasure's all mine, Papa. (Pushes the heart into Pan's chest) Peter Pan: (Pants in pain and leans on Gold for support) Wait, something... wait, something's wrong. Gold: Does it feel different than you remembered? Peter Pan: (Coughs) What's happening? What did you do? Gold: That wasn't really Robin Hood's heart I put inside you. I knew you or your shadow could be watching. Whilst you were otherwise distracted, I returned Robin's heart to him. Peter Pan: What did you put in me? Gold: (Chuckles) A wine-skin I glamoured, filled with water... from the River of Souls. Peter Pan: No. Why? Gold: Villains don't get happy endings, Papa. And I'm here to make sure you never get yours. (Gold pushes Pan to the floor. After a few more moments of panting in pain, Pan begins to slowly disappear and turn into water which floats away) Gold: Goodbye, Papa. For good this time. (Gold picks up Pandora's box and makes his way back to where a sleeping Belle lays. He unlocks Pandora's Box and Belle disappears in a cloud of red smoke, being transported into the box). [SCENE_BREAK] [ Underworld - Present ] [SCENE_BREAK] (Gold walks towards the portal and climbs through. Moments later, Emma, David, Henry, Robin and Regina run towards it) Emma: The portal, it's closing! Henry! Hurry! Hurry! Go! (Henry, Regina and Robin climb through the portal. As David goes to go through, he notices that Emma has stopped and is taking a step in the direction they just came from) David: Emma. (Sighs) I'm sorry there wasn't some other way. Emma: When I bought this jacket, it was meant to be armor to protect me from getting hurt by those I love. But now it's just a reminder that I have to protect those I love. (Voice breaking) Nothing's more important. David: You did your best for Hook. Emma: I don't know. Did I? All I know is, I can't lose anyone else. Let's go. (David goes through the portal. Emma pauses once more to look at the Underworld, her mind clearly on Hook, before turns and goes through the portal. The portal closes, and the clock hands stop on 8:15, before ticking) [SCENE_BREAK] [ End of Episode ]

Plan: A: 2009 Maine; Q: In what year does Emma buy food at Chantley's Lobster House? A: her birth family; Q: What is Emma seeking in Maine? A: A bondswoman; Q: What is Emma's job in Boston? A: town; Q: What did Emma skip in Phoenix? A: a nearby courthouse; Q: Where do Emma and Cleo Fox go to look for records? A: Emma & Cleo; Q: Who are waiting for records from Emma's discovery as a baby? A: Boston; Q: Where is Emma a year later? A: Tasha; Q: Who is Cleo Fox's biological daughter? A: her unexpected fallen friend; Q: Who is Emma seeking Tasha for? A: the fallen clock tower; Q: What is the portal that Hades, Zelena, and the Storybrooke residents return home through made by? A: The heroes; Q: Who all go through the portal except for Hook? A: Hook; Q: Who was not saved by the portal? A: Hades' departure; Q: What event causes Cruella to become the new ruler of the Underworld? Summary: In 2009 Maine, Emma buys food at Chantley's Lobster House while seeking her birth family. A bondswoman named Cleo Fox is after Emma for skipping town in Phoenix. At a nearby courthouse, Emma & Cleo are waiting for records from Emma's discovery as a baby, but find little of use. A year later in Boston, Emma is now a bondswoman seeking Cleo's biological daughter, Tasha, on behalf of her unexpected fallen friend. In the Underworld, Hades, Zelena, her daughter, and the Storybrooke residents return home from the Underworld through a portal made by the fallen clock tower near the Underworld graveyard. The heroes all go through the portal except for Hook, who could not be saved in the end. With Hades' departure, Cruella announces herself as the new ruler of the Underworld.

[EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) -- DAY] [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HANSEN BUSINESS BUILDING -- SUNSET] (DOMINIC KRETZKER walks down the stairs and greets the employees as they walk up to the second floor.) Dominic Kretzker: Hi, Renee. Renee: Hi. Dominic Kretzker: Good afternoon, Mr. Ribero. How's the golf? Mr. Ribero: Fine. How are you? (DOMINIC reaches the first floor and stops to help a woman.) Dominic Kretzker: Hi. You look lost. (He looks at the piece of paper she's carrying and points her in the right direction.) Dominic Kretzker: Okay, the stairs are all the way back to the left and the Real Estate Office is at the end of the hall. (The woman looks at him and nods.) Dominic Kretzker: Okay? Bye. (DOMINIC stands in the middle of the lobby and sees NICOLE walk in carrying a large vase of flowers.) Dominic Kretzker: Hello. Oh! Those for me? Nicole: Hi, Dominic. Sign here. Dominic Kretzker: Okay. (he signs.) I'll tell you, though this is going to be worth a lot of money someday. (He hands her back her pad. She hands him the flowers.) Nicole: I know, Elvis. Dominic: Okay. Nicole: See you. Dominic: Okay, bye-bye. (NICOLE leaves; JAKE RICHARDS walks up to DOMINIC.) Jake Richards: Domino, it's your turn to pick up dinner. Dominic: Okay, Jake-O. Listen, uh, this goes to Cooley Real Estate. (JAKE takes the flowers.) That's on two, all right? And the Fed Ex is running a little bit late on the pickup. (DOMINIC glances down at his watch.) I'll be back in ... hmm, about ten minutes, all right? Jake Richards: You got it. Dominic Kretzker: All right, buddy. (DOMINIC leaves. JAKE takes the flowers and puts it on the counter. He glances up at the wall clock which reads 6:02. He then glances down and notices a ticking sound.) (He looks over at the stack of boxes and things on the counter. He finally peers around the side of the counter and sees the briefcase sitting on the floor. The ticking sound comes from the briefcase.) (Camera goes into slow motion. JAKE RICHARDS reaches for the briefcase. Everything and everyone slows down to a complete and silent halt.) (It explodes.) (JAKE is flung up and backwards as fire and smoke takes out a good portion of the lobby.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. HANSEN BUSINESS BUILDING -- NIGHT] (GRISSOM and CATHERINE walk through the police vehicles and activity outside as they make their way to the crime scene.) Catherine: Oh, these fire guys really know how to trash a crime scene. Grissom: That's what they do. Put wet stuff on the red stuff. (GRISSOM and CATHERINE meet up with BRASS in the front of what used to be the doors to the building. BRASS fills them in.) Brass: We're all clear to go in, but here's what we got. Couple of head wounds. Elderly guy had his arm torn off. The only fatality so far is Jake Richards, a security guard. Body's still inside. [INT. HANSEN BUILDING - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (GRISSOM and CATHERINE turn their flashlights on as they walk through the lobby. BRASS stands aside and looks around.) Brass: How big you think this bomb was? Catherine: It's not the size of the bomb. It's the overpressure in the air around it. (They make their way toward the body. BRASS reaches it first and kneels down beside it. GRISSOM and CATHERINE both put their kits down as they look at the body.) Grissom: The Van Gogh effect. In stereo. Both ears gone. Catherine: A perfectly symmetrical amputation. Means he was looking directly at the bomb when it went off. Grissom: So either it drew his attention or it was contained in something that seemed benign. (GRISSOM continues to look at the body. CATHERINE looks up and around.) Grissom: (sniffs) Smell the sulfur? Catherine: Uh-huh. [translation: yes] Grissom: Got your lighter, Jim? Brass: Sure. (GRISSOM takes a small sample scraping of the black stuff on the body.) Grissom: (to BRASS) Light this. (The black powder on the knife explodes.) Catherine: Gunpowder. Grissom: Well, we know the propellant. So would you care to make a preliminary call on this? Catherine: I'd love to. (CATHERINE stands up and moves to where the suitcase was on the floor indicated by the markings.) Catherine: Seat of the bomb is here. Victim was thrown ... three meters. His clothes are torn but not burnt, indicating a low-velocity propellant -- 6,000- 7,000 feet per second. Who? Why? Will he do it again? (She shrugs.) Catherine: Time will tell. HARD CUT TO: END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT./INT. HANSEN BUILDING - PARKING LOT -- NIGHT] (Sirens wail in the background as emergency personnel continue to assist and sort through the damage.) (Inside, GRISSOM looks around the floor among the debris.) Grissom: The dirty little secret of bombs is how easy they are to make and use. (Standing off to the side are WARRICK, SARA and CATHERINE.) Grissom: (continued) Our murder weapon's here someplace in a thousand pieces. (GRISSOM looks at the flowers that were delivered just before the explosion on the ground.) Grissom: (continued) We have to find it and put it back together again. Warrick: Where do we start? Grissom: If it's not growing pick it up. We cart everything we find back to the lab. Sara: And then what? Grissom: Stay curious. (GRISSOM turns back to look through the debris. SARA stares at him for a moment still unsure of exactly what they're doing, then turns to look at CATHERINE.) Sara: Can you fill in the blanks? Catherine: Bombs explode. Weird thing is their components survive the explosion. If we can piece together this bomb, we're closer to finding who did this. So, Warrick, when you're photographing this debris can you, uh ... ? Warrick: Uh, I know -- looky-loos. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. HANSEN BUILDING - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (Various shots of the on-lookers. WARRICK crosses under the crime scene tape and starts taking pictures of the observers.) [INT. HANSEN BUILDING - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (Using a magnetic device, CATHERINE starts gathering the minute pieces of metal in the debris.) (Cut to: SARA picks up a piece of metal and looks at it. She bags it.) (Cut to: WARRICK looks at the damage to the lobby wall. The clock on the wall reads: 6:02.) WHITE FLASH TO: [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. STRIP HOTEL/CASINO - THE ORPHEUS - NIGHT] (NICK and his friend, ERIC, walk through the hotel toward the front door.) Eric: Come on, Nick. It's my last night in Sin City. One more drink, man. Nick: Oh, no. I just pulled a double and I still have to file my shift report. (NICK hands the valet his ticket.) Eric: Hey, you're off the clock. You'd have never passed up a wild night back at A&M. Nick: Well, I guess I grew up. Eric: Too bad. Check that out. (ERIC indicates the two women walking down the sidewalk toward the building. He looks at them as they walk inside. They look at him as they walk by.) Nick: Enjoy. (They shake hands.) Eric: You must really love your job, man. (ERIC turns and round and calls out to the two women who just walked by. They turn around as he approaches them.) Eric: Ladies ... (NICK chuckles, then turns to leave. The valet brings NICK'S car up to the drive. NICK reaches into his pocket for the tip and walks over to the driver's side.) Nick: Here you go. Thanks, man. Valet: Thank you. (NICK is just about to get into the car, when he hears a disturbance off in the distance.) Kristy Hopkins: (o.s.) Get your hands off me! Let go of me. You don't own me. Nobody does. Jack Willman: (o.s.) You're not going anywhere. You got that? (NICK looks up and sees KRISTY HOPKINS arguing with a man who has his hand grasping her upper arm.) Jack Willman: Come on. Relax a little bit. Settle down. (NICK heads over to them.) Nick: Kristy? Kristy Hopkins: You don't own me, Jack. (NICK starts to cross the street.) Nick: Kristy! Kristy Hopkins: Nobody does. Jack Willman: I know, I know. (NICK finally reaches them and stops a distance away from them. He gets their attention.) Nick: Hey. Back off. Jack: Hey, just mind your own business. Kristy Hopkins: (pleading) Nick. (JACK tries to shush her.) Kristy Hopkins: (to JACK) I know him. He's a cop. Nick: (corrects) Crime scene investigator. Kristy Hopkins: Nick, tell him to leave me alone. Jack Willman: Nobody tells me to do anything. Nick: Hey, we going to have a problem? Jack Willman: No, officer, we're not going to have a problem. See you around, baby. (He kisses her on the neck, then lets her go. He leaves. KRISTY appears to be slightly rattled. NICK looks at her and notices.) Nick: You okay? Kristy Hopkins: Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. That was good timing. Thanks. Nick: I suppose you need a ride. Kristy Hopkins: Do you mind? Nick: No. Come on. Kristy Hopkins: Thanks. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CAR (PARKED) -- NIGHT] (NICK and KRISTY sit in his car parked in her driveway.) Kristy Hopkins: Seems like every time we run into each other I'm getting into trouble. Nick: Not that it's any of my business but maybe you should think about changing careers. Kristy Hopkins: Not every john is like that guy. Besides, I'm making a change. I'm going back to school. (He looks at her and nods.) Nick: Yeah? Kristy Hopkins: I've always wanted to study communications. I'm good with people. Nick: That's good. Kristy Hopkins: You think so? Nick: Yeah. Yeah. Kristy Hopkins: Well, I'm going to go inside now. (pauses, then offers) Unless, of course, you'd like to come in for a drink. Nick: I don't think that'd be a good idea. Kristy Hopkins: Come on. Just 'cause you're a crime scene analyst you don't have to analyze everything. (She laughs. He laughs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HANSEN BUILDING] (WARRICK, SARA and CATHERINE work at gathering evidence. WARRICK takes pictures. SARA extracts a tire out of the wall. CATHERINE picks up a portion of a gear. She dusts it off and looks at it under the glass. She finds a couple of letters etched into the gear piece.) Catherine: F - P - (Meanwhile, GRISSOM walks outside.) Dominic Kretzker: Mr. Grissom. (DOMINIC looks at GRISSOM and for a moment is flustered.) Dominic Kretzker: Oh, uh ... hi, I've ... I've, um, I've seen you on tv before. I admire your work. Grissom: Well, thank you. And your name is ... ? Dominic Kretzker: Dominic. Uh, "I-C" rather than with the "I-C-K"... uh, Kretzker. I'm the, uh, Hansen Building Security Detail. Grissom: Did somebody from homicide talk to you yet? Dominic Kretzker: Yeah. As a matter of fact, they said that I was going to be talking to you, because, well, we are ... you know, we're both in law enforcement, and ... Grissom: Right. Did you know the victim -- the other security guard? Dominic Kretzker: Oh, yeah. He was one of my best buddies. As a matter of fact, you know, two minutes' difference it would've been my face all over the news instead of his, right? (DOMINIC turns around to look at the news cameras and reporters just behind the crime scene tape.) Grissom: Would you, uh, like to be on the news? Dominic Kretzker: Yeah. Yeah. I mean ... only if I could help people, yes. No, no. I know what you're thinking. Uh, you know, my building blows up I'm over at Arby's sucking down some extra sauce. You know, how could I want to help people, right? Grissom: Well, I mean, realistically, what could you have done? Dominic Kretzker: Well, I know a lot about bombs. You know, pipe, power, powder. The three "Ps" of mass destruction. Grissom: Huh. Dominic ... with an "I-C," not "I-C-K" ... Dominic Kretzker: Yes sir? Grissom: Would you be interested in helping me in my investigation? (DOMINIC stops and stares at GRISSOM.) Dominic Kretzker: Are you serious? (he chuckles.) Yeah. Yes, sir. I'd be honored, sir. Oh. But we can't tell anybody on the day shift, though because they're going to get real jealous. Grissom: That's good thinking. Would you excuse me a minute? Dominic Kretzker: Yes. (GRISSOM walks over to the OFFICER standing nearby.) Grissom: (about DOMINIC) Keep an eye on that guy. (GRISSOM heads back into the building. The OFFICER turns to look at DOMINIC who is just thrilled beyond anything.) Dominic Kretzker: Oh, yes! [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HANSEN BUILDING - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (GRISSOM walks into the building.) Grissom: Well, we got a live one out there. I got a cop baby-sitting him. How you doing? Catherine: Well, are his initials "F.P."? Grissom: No. Dominic Kretzker. Why? Catherine: I found this near the point of origin. (CATHERINE hands the gear piece to GRISSOM. He looks at it.) Catherine: Whoever did this is playing with us. Grissom: Or he wants to get caught. (GRISSOM looks up at CATHERINE.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CAR (MOVING) -- DAY] (NICK is driving and talking on his cell phone.) Nick: Hey, it's me. You in the shower? What are you doing? Anyway, if you check your messages I don't have to work till later. So I thought, since you're between careers you might want to grab a late ... (NICK pulls up in front of KRISTY HOPKINS' house and finds it surrounded by officer cars.) Nick: ... breakfast. (He pulls up. OFFICER ARVINGTON sees him.) Officer Arvington: Hey, Nick, what's up? Nick: Not a lot. What's ... what's going on? Officer Arvington: It's a 419. Dead prostitute. Nick: Who's the decedent? Officer Arvington: Kristine Marie Hopkins. Day shift's got it covered. You all right? (NICK looks over and sees ECKLIE talking with the LEAD DETECTIVE and they're both walking down the driveway.) Nick: Yeah, I must've, uh ... I must've got my wires crossed. I'll see you. Officer Arvington: All right, man. (NICK drives off.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (DOMINIC KRETZKER explains how bombs work to BRASS and WARRICK.) Dominic Kretzker: All right, you cram this thing here with gunpowder, all right? Then you cap it here, and you cap it here. Now the grains inside, all right ... they're going to ignite and cause smoke. Lots and lots of smoke ... now, the problem is, all that smoke's here man it's got nowhere to go. Okay? It starts cooking ... and then ... bob's your uncle... boom! Warrick: Grissom was right: You do know a lot about bombs. Brass: How did you learn so much? Dominic Kretzker: Oh, they don't teach this stuff at universities. No, this is all trial and error. Brass: So what, you just, uh, blow up bombs and study them? Dominic Kretzker: Yeah. Yeah... (There's a light knocking on the door. MARGARET FINN walks in.) Margaret Finn: Margaret Finn, Public Defender. Cease and desist any conversation with my client. I've been assigned to you. Guess the PD was thinking of all the lawsuits Richard Jewell brought when he was wrongfully accused. Brass: Someone died in that office building. Dominic Kretzker: Ma'am, you seem like a very nice person but these people-- they've been very, very good to me. Margaret Finn: I'm sure they have. Warrick: Dominic, I think you should go with your attorney. Thanks for your help, though. (DOMINIC nods.) Dominic Kretzker: All right I'll see you guys later. (DOMINIC turns around and shakes their hands.) Dominic Kretzker: Listen, do me a favor. Will you tell Grissom that, if he needs me just call me at home, okay? Brass: All right. (DOMINIC turns around to look at his attorney.) Dominic Kretzker: Let's roll. (He leaves the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (SARA looks at all the bomb pieces they've gathered spread out on the table in front of them. CATHERINE explains it to her.) Sara: So all this stuff is from a five-meter radius of the point of origin? Catherine: Yep. Sara: How could the victim possibly have been in one piece? Catherine: Vacuum effect. The air is being pushed out so fast ... (Quick CGI to: The hands of the clock hit 12, the electrical pulse is sent through the wires and to the gunpowder where it ignites.) Catherine: (V.O.) ... when the bomb detonates ... (End of CGI. White flash to the moment where JAKE RICHARDS leans down to pick up the suitcase. Everything stops in that moment as the bomb explodes.) Catherine: (V.O.) ... there's a calm at the center. (The bomb explodes and everything and everyone is pushed away.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (SARA looks down at the items on the table and picks up the gear piece with the etching on it.) Sara: Calm, huh? Catherine: Well, except for when he lost his ears. Sara: Did you figure out what this "FP" stands for? Catherine: I ran it through ATF's bomb database. No profile. Sara: So our bomber's a newbie. Does he fit Grissom's wack job from the bomb site? Catherine: Dominic the security guard? It's too soon to tell. (GRISSOM walks in carrying something. He holds it out for them to look ati.) Grissom: I found something interesting. Sara: What is it? (CATHERINE looks at it under the glass.) Catherine: Looks like a balance wheel from a clock. Grissom: Bomb was time-delayed. This is a piece of the timing device. Sara: What about the orange stuff? Grissom: Heat of the explosion must have melted whatever it is all around the wheel. So, Sara? Sara: Mmm? Grissom: What's orange and melts? Sara: I would have to investigate that. Grissom: Thank you. (NICK walks into the room.) Nick: Hey, guys. (to GRISSOM) Can I steal you for a minute? Grissom: I thought this was your day off. Catherine: We're kind of busy here, Nick. Nick: Yeah, I know, and I'm sorry, but I don't think this can wait. Grissom: Okay. (They step out of the lab.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (GRISSOM sits behind his desk. He sighs.) Grissom: You told me you weren't dating her. Nick: I wasn't till last night after I broke up her fight with this guy, uh ... Jack. Grissom: And Ecklie's at her house now. Nick: Yeah, and I can tell you what he's going to find. My fingerprints; my DNA. Grissom: What were you thinking, Nicky? Nick: I wasn't. (Quick flashback to: That night, KRISTY leans toward NICK and kisses him.) Nick: (V.O.) We had a connection, you know? A chemistry thing, I guess. (White flash to: NICK and KRISTY are in bed kissing.) Nick: (V.O.) She was irresistible, man. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Nick: I took off around four. Grissom: Ecklie's going to be all over this. (CATHERINE knocks lightly on the door and walks into the office.) Catherine: Hey, Nick ... I'm sorry to hear about your friend. (She puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder.) Nick: Who told you? Catherine: Word travels. It was the day shift coroner. Nick: So people know I was with Kristy last night? Catherine: Not yet. Nick: Maybe I should just go to Ecklie and tell him I was there. Grissom: When you're a suspect and you're innocent, keep your mouth shut. I'll talk to Ecklie. Catherine: Bad idea. You and Ecklie ... oil and water. Just let me get into it. (NICK stands up.) Nick: I can't just sit here. Grissom: Okay, go for a walk. Maybe you'll accidentally bump into your guy, "Jack?" Nick: Yeah. (NICK gets it. He turns to leave the office.) Grissom: I.D. him, but don't approach him. (NICK turns around to look at GRISSOM.) Nick: Okay. (He shakes his head, then leaves the office.) Catherine: If Nick's arrested. it's not going to matter that he's cleared later. (CATHERINE sits down.) Grissom: No. It's an automatic dismissal. (She leans back and sighs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- DAY] (DR. ROBBINS starts the autopsy on KRISTY HOPKINS.) Dr. Albert Robbins: 25-year-old female caucasian. Liver temp's indicating time of death at 0600. Petichial hemorrhaging, cyanotic tongue. Can I help you, Catherine? (CATHERINE walks into the room.) CATHEIRNE; I just want to see the body, David. Dr. Albert Robbins: Unless I'm mistaken, this is Ecklie's case. Catherine: Eyes, no hands. (DR. ROBBINS doesn't say anything. CATHERINE turns to look at the body.) Catherine: Look at those ligature marks. Dr. Robbins: Petichials ... blue tongue, the works. Catherine: Raccoon eyes excoriation around the neck. She didn't give up easy. Dr. Albert Robbins: Struggled and strangled. Catherine: Ecklie find the murder weapon? Dr. Albert Robbins: I only deal with bodies. Catherine: Did you check for fingerprints on the body? Dr. Albert Robbins: Not yet. Catherine: Half-life of fingerprints on flesh ... they're disappearing as we speak. Dr. Albert Robbins: Catherine, I like Nick, too. I know you're here for him. But what if I lift his prints from her? Catherine: Then that's what you report. Evidence, Doc ... (shakes her head) ... all we got. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE -- DAY] [SCOPE VIEW of the piece GRISSOM found earlier. He compares the damaged piece with a second in-tact piece.) (GRISSOM studies the pieces under the scope. There's ticking sounds coming from around him. Suddenly, an alarm rings. GRISSOM looks up.) SARA; Hey. (The alarm continues to ring annoyingly.) Grissom: Could you find that and turn it off, please? (SARA checks the clocks on the table, then finds it and turns it off. The alarm stops ringing. She picks up another clock.) SARA; Find the clock our guy used? Grissom: (sighs) Not yet. Sara: This is a good choice. According to the bomb data center which has a record of every component used in any bomb -- from Ted Kaczynski to teenage boys playing with fireworks -- the most recent timing device of choice is made by TimeTell SnoozeWell, $10.99 at any local drugstore. (SARA hands the alarm clock she's holding to GRISSOM.) Grissom: You spoiled all my fun. (GRISSOM starts unscrewing the back of the clock off. WARRICK walks into the office.) Warrick: Gris, can I get clear on something here? Grissom: Anything's possible. Warrick: Catherine gave me this "FP" which was part of the Hansen bomb and I'm supposed to figure out what tool the bomber used to engrave it. Grissom: You isolate the tool, and then we trace it. Warrick: Yeah, but he could've used any number of things to initial it. I mean, screwdriver, a drill bit, a box cutter. Grissom: It's the same as guns -- we eliminate them one at a time. Warrick: What are you guys doing? Sara: (smugly) We're going to go blow up some bombs. Warrick: (envious) Oh, I definitely got the wrong end of this investigation. Grissom: (to WARRICK'S retreating back) Alas, poor Warrick. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (Camera slowly pans across the table that has various etching devices on it. One by one, WARRICK uses them and compares it to the "FP" on the gear.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY OUTSIDE GRISSOM'S OFFICE -- DAY] (ECKLIE leans against the door frame knocking on the door. CATHERINE walks up to him.) Catherine: Oh, hey, uh Conrad, Grissom's in the field. Conrad Ecklie: I need to speak with him. Catherine: And I need to speak with you ... about Nick Stokes. Conrad Ecklie: Well, let me guess ... about his involvement with a dead hooker? Catherine: Come on. The hooker was a person. Her name was Kristy Hopkins. Conrad Ecklie: I realize that. Thank you. I just came from the lab. His prints were all over Kristy Hopkins' house. Let's see, wine glass ... oh, bedside table. (CATHERINE nods. NICK walks up to them.) Nick: How's it going, Cath? Catherine: Nick, I don't think that you guys should be talking. Nick: It's no big deal. What's up, Ecklie? Conrad Ecklie: I need a DNA sample from you, Nick. Nick: I assume you're trying to prove Kristy Hopkins and I were sexually active last night. Conrad Ecklie: We found a condom, used. Nick: And my DNA will match, no warrant necessary. And I have something else for you. (NICK hands ECKLIE a piece of paper with writing on it.) Nick: I got this off a valet surveillance tape. Conrad Ecklie: A license plate number? Vehicle belongs to Jack Willman. Had a fight with Kristy Hopkins outside the Orpheus last night around midnight. Conrad Ecklie: Well, I'll look into it but come on -- your fingerprints, your DNA --that's what's going into evidence. Nick: You just love that, don't you? Conrad Ecklie: You think I want to believe that a CSI could commit murder? Hell, I don't even want to believe that a CSI could sleep with a hooker. Catherine: You know what? Nick's private life ... Conrad Ecklie: (interrupts) Is no longer private. (beat) Catherine, I'm sorry if you guys don't like where the evidence is pointing. But show me otherwise -- tell me I'm wrong. In the meantime, my hands are tied. I have protocol to follow. (ECKLIE turns and leaves. NICK sighs and heads out the hallway. CATHERINE turns and follows NICK.) Nick: I hate that guy. Catherine: Okay, look, I'm going to get O'Riley to track down this Jack guy for questioning. But I am out on a limb for you here, Nick. Just don't make it harder with Ecklie, okay? Nick: (nods) Yeah. (NICK leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS DESERT -- DAY] (GRISSOM and SARA stand over the suitcase in the middle of a concrete slab.) Grissom: We find the bomber by understanding the bomb. Fortunately, Catherine figured out the exterior container. Sara: Aluminum briefcase. (They turn and head off to the side.) Grissom: And we know the timing device. Sara: Snoozewell. Grissom: And the propellant. Sara: Black gunpowder. Grissom: So the final piece of the bomber's signature? Sara: Identify the pipe containing the powder. Grissom: Three bombs, scaled down five-to-one three different metal pipes. Different metals fly different distances when the same force is applied. Number one is a plumber's ex-flow pipe. Number two is an inflow pipe which is thinner. Number three is galvanized steel which is the thinnest metal of them all. (They reach the safe blast distance, then put on the earphones. SARA looks at GRISSOM and puts a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.) Sara: You ready? Grissom: (nods) Mm-hmm. Sara: Let's do it, Dan. (DAN gives SARA a thumbs up and ignites the first bomb. It explodes.) (The debris is green.) Grissom: Green. That's the ex-flow pipe. (The second bomb explodes.) Grissom: Inflow pipe, blue. (The third bomb explodes.) Grissom: Red-- the galvanized steel. (Cut to: GRISSOM measures the distance from the blast center.) Grissom: Last piece of green: Ten feet. (SARA puts down evidence marker #1.) Grissom: Blue: 16 feet. (SARA puts down evidence marker #2.) Grissom: Red: 20 feet. (SARA puts down the final evidence marker #3. GRISSOM picks up a piece and looks at it.) Sara: Fragments from the galvanized steel traveled the farthest. Grissom: 20 feet. Extrapolating five to one that would be 100 feet. Sara: That's the outer limit of visible metal detritus at the Hansen building. Grissom: So the bomb was housed in a thin container of galvanized steel -- like a muffler or a tailpipe. I've seen it before. It's a common container for homemades. Brass: Don't you love the smell of sulfur in the afternoon? You might want to go and take a tour of Dominic Kretzker's house. I tracked down the sale of SnoozeWell clocks. Nine hundred twenty-six credit card purchases in the last three months in Clark County -- seven to Dominic Kretzker of Prairie Road. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. PRAIRIE ROAD - EVENING] (The vehicles drive up the driveway.) Dispatcher: (over radio) 15, cal 24 is your backup. (DOMINIC is out on the porch waiting for them.) Dominic Kretzker: Hey, hey. Brass: That your scanner? Dominic Kretzker: Yeah, that's how I knew you were coming. Makes me feel like I'm part of things. (He shakes their hands.) Dominic Kretzker: Mr. Grissom. What can I do for you guys? Grissom: Dominic ... this is the type of device that was used to set off the Hansen bomb. We have proof that you purchased the same make of clock. Dominic Kretzker: Yeah. Yeah, I recognize that. That houses a nice little detonator. Brass: Want to show us that clock of yours? Dominic Kretzker: (welcoming) Why, sure. Come on in. (DOMINIC turns and heads back inside. GRISSOM and BRASS look at each other, then follow.) [INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS] Dominic Kretzker: The place is kind of a mess. Sorry. (BRASS and GRISSOM walk into the room. DOMINIC walks over to the table where there's a file box filed with stuff on the floor.) Dominic Kretzker: Here. (He bends over to pick up the box.) Dominic Kretzker: Here it is. (He puts the box on the table and picks up the alarm clock.) Dominic Kretzker: Timetell Snoozewell. $10.99. Well, you can get it for half price if you got a coupon. (He gives it to DOMINIC.) Grissom: The timing device is still intact. Dominic Kretzker: Yeah, 'cause I haven't made the bomb yet. Grissom: But you have made bombs before using parts from this make? Dominic Kretzker: Well, yeah. Yeah. I blow them out in back all the time. I blasted a few of them a couple months ago. Brass: Look what I found. Sulfur. You blow up any bombs recently? (DOMINIC picks up something else from the box. BRASS hands the piece he found with globs of melted orange on it. Camera moves in for a close up of the piece.) Grissom: Is this from the Hansen bomb? Dominic Kretzker: Sure is. Brass: You keep your key piece of evidence that could nail you? Dominic Kretzker: Hey, that's sentimental. Brass: Well, that's cute. Dominic Kretzker: No. I mean, it is. That's like, you know, Waco and Trade Center. That's historical. I didn't have a war, all right? I'm too flatfooted for the P.D. And that's as close to history as I'm going to get. I collect souvenirs. I mean, th-that's my building, you know. I mean ... that was my place of employment, man. (MARGARET FINN walks into the living room.) Margaret Finn: You're going to be sorry, talking to my client. Brass: We called you. We left word. Margaret Finn: Dominic, don't speak. Dominic Kretzker: If I had anything to hide, I'd hide it. I'm pretty proud of that container piece, I'll tell you. Brass: Well, maybe so but you're under arrest. Put him in the car. Dominic Kretzker: (to GRISSOM) You-you kidding? Oh. (The OFFICER steps forward and puts the handcuffs on DOMINIC'S wrists. In the background, sirens approach.) Dominic Kretzker: (to GRISSOM) Cuffs? Brass: Well, vultures never sleep, huh? (The news crews and cameras drive up the roadway toward the house.) Dominic Kretzker: (to GRISSOM) Could you do me a favor? Will you put the jacket over them? I don't want to be seen like this. Especially on TV. This is not who I am. (GRISSOM places a jacket over the handcuffs.) Dominic Kretzker: Thanks, Partner. (The OFFICERS take DOMINIC out of the house. GRISSOM watches them go.) Grissom: (to BRASS) I can't tell whether he's brilliant or... nuts. Brass: Sound familiar? Tell you one thing: If he's guilty, he's putting on one hell of a show. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB] (SARA puts a sample of the orange melted stuff in a tube and tests it.) (The printer prints out the results. She looks at it. It reads: ) Sample Name : BOMB FRAGMENTS Misc Info : MEOH Vial Number : 22 Findings : polyethelene, terephtalete Sara: Polyethylene? Terephtalete? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - MORGUE] (DR. ROBBINS opens the door with "HOPKINS" on it. He pulls the table out. He lifts the sheet to uncover her face. NICK sighs.) Nick: You contact her family? Dr. Albert Robbins: No family to speak of. Nick: Has anyone claimed her for burial? Friend? Old roommate? Dr. Albert Robbins: There's no one. City will be footing the bill. (NICK looks down at her.) Nick: No. I'll pay. Dr. Albert Robbins: Sure that's prudent, given the circumstances? Nick: Doc, I'm giving this girl a proper burial. I don't much care about my career right now. Someone wants to throw me in jail for that so be it. (DR. ROBBINS pulls the sheet back over her face.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. JAIL -- DAY] (The doors slide close. GRISSOM walks up to the bars.) Grissom: How you doing? (DOMINIC nods his head.) Dominic Kretzker: Just kind of using the current experience to understand the other side of law enforcement. Grissom: That's resourceful. Dominic Kretzker: You think I'm guilty, don't you? Grissom: I think the evidence raises some serious questions about your involvement. Dominic Kretzker: That is crazy. I mean, come on. I'm one of the good guys. I know the cops went through my things. Did they find anything? Grissom: Dominic, you have an attorney now. I can't really talk to you about your case. I was here on another matter and I thought I'd come by. Dominic Kretzker: You do what I do. Grissom: Excuse me? Dominic Kretzker: You don't just, like stop by to see someone. You ... make up an excuse like "I'm in the area. Just stopping by." Wow. You're just like me. Except better-looking. Grissom: I'll come by and see you later, okay? Dominic Kretzker: Okay. (GRISSOM heads back and sees BRASS leaning against the open door frame looking grim.) Grissom: What? Brass: Bad news. Another Fourth of July. Grissom: Where? Brass: Thrift Right Car Rental on Flamingo. Ten minutes ago. (GRISSOM turns to look back at DOMINIC who sits patiently in his cell.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. THIFT RIGHT CAR RENTA -- NIGHT] (Emergency personnel are all over the parking lot area in the rain. BRASS fills in everyone on what they know.) Brass: So, the manager was working the lot when he heard the blast. Fatality was on the check-in line and died on the way to the hospital. Sara: Anybody report hearing any noise? Ticking? Brass: No. No one heard anything. Sara: Oh. It's not the firemen -- it's the rain. This crime scene is trashed. (GRISSOM look down on the ground and picks up something.) Sara: What do you have? Grissom: Form follows function. They've never been able to make a better one. Mousetrap. Sara: That orange stuff again. Grissom: Someone picks it up motion trips the trap, sets off the timer. (Quick CGI POV of the trap tripping, the timer sending the spark through the wire. The bomb detonates.) Sara: (V.O.) Which sets off the bomb. (It explodes.) (End of CGI POV. Resume to present.) (SARA looks around the parking lot, then notices the MANAGER speaking with an OFFICER. She sees something.) Sara: Be right back. (SARA leaves and heads toward them. GRISSOM turns to BRASS.) Grissom: We say nothing to the media or anybody. Our bomber's signature just got a little more sophisticated. (SARA walks up to the MANAGER.) Sara: Excuse me. Hi. I'm with the crime lab. I'm sorry, but I have to take your jacket. (The MANAGER looks down at his orange jacket, then takes it off.) Manager: Um ... okay. If it'll help. (He gives the jacket to SARA.) Sara: Thanks. (The officer leads the MANAGER off to another direction.) Officer: Let's go. Manager: Okay. (GRISSOM and BRASS join SARA.) Grissom: What are you doing? Sara: Polyethylene-terephtalete. (SARA gathers up the jacket.) Grissom: Polyester. Sara: "Orange stuff". (She turns and walks away.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. JAIL -- NIGHT] (The jail door slides open.) Grissom: You're free to go. I wanted to tell you in person. Dominic Kretzker: You mean you weren't just in the neighborhood? (They both walk slowly toward the door.) Dominic Kretzker: That second bomb -- it wasn't remote, was it? Otherwise, I'd still be a suspect. Grissom: I can't discuss it. Dominic Kretzker: So I guess you're not going to be needing my expertise anymore. I mean, investigation-wise. (he sighs) I knew it was too good to be true. (DOMINIC turns to GRISSOM and salutes him.) Dominic Kretzker: Well, proud to have worked with you, sir. Grissom: Dominic ... I'm not a police officer. I-I-I'm a Crime Scene Analyst. Dominic Kretzker: Yeah, but we know who really solves the crimes, don't we, sir? (They shake hands.) Grissom: Good luck. Take care of yourself. Dominic Kretzker: Thank you. (GRISSOM turns to leave. He stops and turns back around.) Grissom: Hey, Dom? Dominic Kretzker: Yeah? Grissom: Next time try not to be quite so trusting. You don't need to be a hero. (GRISSOM leaves the room.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- NIGHT] (JACK WILLMAN sits at the table in the room. In the observation room, CATHERINE keeps and eye on him. ECKLIE walks into the observation room.) Catherine: I ran priors. The guy's got an '88 conviction for sexual assaults. Conrad Ecklie: (smugly) Boy, if I ever get in trouble, I know which CSI I'm going to. CATHERINE Let's watch the show. [INTERVIEW ROOM] (In the room, DET. O'RILEY takes a seat opposite JACK WILLMAN.) Det. O'Riley: How would you characterize your relationship with Kristy Hopkins? Jack: Sir, we can just cut the crap. I saw him kill Kristy. I saw everything. Det. O'Riley: Go on. Jack: Well, Kristy and I, we had words. I was just swinging by her place to tell her I was sorry, but, uh ... (Quick flashback to: JACK looks inside the house and sees KRISTY and NICK arguing loudly.) Jack Willman: (V.O.) I didn't expect to see her with a guy. (NICK pushes KRISTY down on the couch. She grabs something and throws it at him.) Jack Willman: (V.O.) They were fighting. I couldn't make out what they were saying but he was pushing her around pretty hard. (NICK grabs KRISTY and starts choking her.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Det. O'Riley: Could you I.D. this guy? Jack Willman: It was, like, Nick something. Kristy and I bumped into him at the Orpheus earlier. Det. O'Riley: And you saw him kill her? Jack: Well, I saw him get violent, and I took off. Det. O'Riley: And you didn't try to help the girl? Jack: He's one of you guys. He carries a gun. I'm no hero. So, could I go? (DET. O'RILEY glances over at the mirror. CATHERINE shakes her head.) Det. O'Riley: Yeah. [OBSERVATION ROOM] (ECKLIE turns smugly to CATHERINE.) Conrad Ecklie: The witness sounds believable. Catherine: It's a load of crap, and you know it. (The door opens and SHERIFF BRIAN MOBLEY walks in.) Sheriff Brian Mobley: I was listening. He seemed credible to me. Catherine: Sheriff, you arrest Nick now you end his career. Sheriff Brian Mobley: So, what can you offer me? Catherine: Nothing, except my gut and ten years of experience. He didn't do this. Conrad Ecklie: Ignore the evidence against Stokes it looks like special favors for CSI. Sheriff Brian Mobley: Well, I can't have that. Not and keep my post. Catherine: So give me twelve hours, access to the crime scene and evidence without filing papers on Nick. Sheriff Brian Mobley: Twelve hours. But then we arrest Mr. Stokes with all the attendant documentation. (The SHERIFF leaves the room. ECKLIE glances at CATHERINE and follows. CATHERINE turns back to look at the empty interview room.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB] (GREG works in his lab with his ear phones on. CATHERINE walks up to him and takes the ear phones off. She leans down and looks at GREG as he raises his head.) Catherine: (quietly) How you doing, Greg? Greg Sanders: Same as you. Worried about Nick. Catherine: Yeah. I need to see his DNA from the crime scene. You have it, right? Greg Sanders: A sample from the condom, yeah. Popsicled in the freezer. But, uh, it's not your case. Much as I want to help, no can do. Catherine: That's my case for the next twelve hours. Ask the Sheriff. Greg Sanders: I would never doubt your word. Catherine: Smart man. (GREG opens the freezer and takes out the envelope. He removes the slide and puts it under the scope.) Greg Sanders: Nick's little soldiers. It's all you. Catherine: Thanks, Greg. [SCOPE VIEW] Catherine: When did you say this sample was frozen? Greg Sanders: Um ... 10:15 A.M. Why? Catherine: These guys are all heads-- no tails. (Something occurs to CATHERINE. GREG moves over to look through the scope. CATHERINE rushes out of the Greg Sanders: That's normal, given the post-ejaculate time frame. How is that going to help Nick? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- DAY] (CATHERINE fills GRISSOM in on her theory.) Catherine: The sperm found in the condom was frozen at 10:15 A.M. It's all heads, no tails. Grissom: I'm not quite up to speed on the particulars of ... Catherine: It takes about seven hours for bacteria to eat away at the tails placing the time of ejaculation at around 2:00 A.M. But Kristy's time of death was 6:00 A.M. Grissom: Well, it suggests a lag between ejaculation and Kristy's murder but it doesn't disprove Nick's presence at the time of the homicide. Catherine: You could be a little more supportive. (CATHERINE walks away. SARA walks out of a nearby lab.) Sara: I have a new favorite color. Grissom: Orange? Sara: The orange polyester from the bomb is a match to the thrift-right jacket. Guess where their regional headquarters is located. Grissom: The Hansen Building. Sara: You bet. I ran a Lexis search looking for disgruntled employees, irate customers anyone with a grievance against thrift-right. Grissom: You get any hits? Sara: Norman Stirling -- former manager. Grissom: How disgruntled? Sara: Let go last year. Caused a commotion at HQ. Filed lawsuits against the company. Guy's been out of work ever since. (SARA turns and heads back to the lab.) Grissom: Sitting around making bombs. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. STIRLING RESIDENCE -- DAY] (In the garage, NORMAL STIRLING tinkers with his car while his son, TYLER, sweeps the floors. BRASS, SARA and a couple of officers walk up the driveway.) Brass: Norman Stirling? Norman Stirling: Yes. What's going on? Sara: "FP." Norman Stirling: What? Sara: You don't recognize those initials? (Behind him, a couple of officers come in through the doorway from the house.) Norman Stirling: What's this about? Brass: The bombing of the thrift-right car rental and the bombing of the Hansen Building. Norman Stirling: A-a bomb? Are you kidding? I've never even been near a bomb my entire life. Sara: Well, those orange jackets over there appear to match the materials the bombs were wrapped in. Norman Stirling: I used to wear those to go to work. Brass: You were let go by ThriftRright last year, and lost a court battle to get your job back. In fact, they filed a TRO against you for throwing furniture around their headquarters last July. Norman Stirling: I want to call my lawyer. Brass: Good. You can call him from the car. He can meet us at the PD. Take him in. Come on, let's go. (BRASS takes a hold of NORMAL STIRLING and the OFFICERS put cuffs on him.) Norman Stirling: (to TYLER) Call your mom. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT./INT. HOPKINS' RESIDENCE -- DAY] (CATHERINE walks up the pathway and up to the front door where she cuts the tape to the house.) (Cut to: In the bedroom, CATHERINE peels back the sheets and checks the bed.) (Cut to: In the living room, CATHERINE checks the sofa and under the cushions.) (She stops and looks around. From the curtains, to the fireplace and on to the other curtains where she definitely notices something.) (CATHERINE takes out the autopsy photographs and looks at the cord used to tie back the curtains. She compares it with the markings found around KRISTY'S neck. She's found the murder weapon.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (CATHERINE drops the cord out onto the table in front of GREG.) Catherine: (V.O.) Kristy Hopkins was strangled with this sash. (She puts the evidence bag aside and continues to explain what she wants.) Catherine: It's fingerprint-free, but the force of the pull would have scratched off epithelials from the killer's hands, right? Greg Sanders: Abraded, yeah. Catherine: And can you extract DNA from epithelials? Greg Sanders: If they're fresh enough. (GREG gets to work. He takes a swab from the cord, then puts the sample under the scope.) [SCOPE VIEW] Greg Sanders: Okay, epithelials are an affirmative. And they're good to go for DNA profiling. I'm just going to need something to compare it to. Catherine: Jack Willman has a prior for a sexual assault so his DNA is on file. (GREG turns around to check on the database.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM -- DAY] (NICK paces the floor. CATHERINE walks in.) Nick: Well? Catherine: I think that you and I should head over to the police station. Nick: (nods) DNA didn't pan out, huh? Catherine: (smiles sadly) Never have I seen such a clean match. Jack Willman killed her. (Quick flashback to: That night in KRISTY'S living room, JACK WILLMAN has the cord tied tight around her neck and chokes her. She struggles.) (Cut to: After KRISTY'S dead, he unwraps the cord from her neck. Cut to: He puts the cord back around the curtain.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (NICK sighs.) Nick: (smiles) Thank you. (He hugs CATHERINE.) Catherine: Hey ... hey, I'm just doing my job. Besides, if they'd sent you to jail I'd get stuck with all your cases. (NICK laughs.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - AUDIO/VISUAL LAB] (WARRICK continues to look at the "FP" etching on the gear piece. GRISSOM walks in.) Grissom: Dispatch said you were looking for me? Warrick: Yeah. I finally matched this "FP." To this electric etcher. Now, I made an exemplar. Boom! Identical type of striations. The manufacturer says that this etcher is only used for training purposes. And it's only sold in bulk. It was not sold to Norman Stirling. Grissom: So who bought it? Warrick: Las Vegas School District. I called the district, and we traced it down to one high school -- summit high. (GRISSOM looks at the paper.) Warrick: Stirling's son goes there. (GRISSOM looks at WARRICK.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (TYLER STIRLING and NORMAN STIRLING are being interviewed by BRASS and GRISSOM.) Brass: Tyler, were you aware of your father's lawsuits against thrift-right car rental? Tyler Stirling: It was kind of hard not to be. I mean, it's all him and my mom talked about for a year. Until she left. Grissom: Do you miss your mother? Tyler Stirling: I miss our old life. Norman Stirling: (quietly) Is there something that we should be talking about? You know, in private? Tyler Stirling: You said that's how corporations do it-- in private. See, they treated him great at work, in front of everyone. And then they let him go at the end of the day when no one's around. Thirty years of service, and then ... you know, they realized they could hire two young guys at half the price. Brass: What does "FP" stand for? It was etched into both bombs. Grissom: We think you engraved it with an implement from your high school shop class. (NORMAN looks at TYLER.) Tyler Stirling: "Fair play." (As soon as TYLER answers, NORMAN'S face falls with the realization that his son did it ... for him.) Norman Stirling: I used to yell that around the house -- that I was owed fair play. Tyler Stirling: I mean, they threw him out like trash. Norman Stirling: And you sent them bombs?! Tyler Stirling: You said you wanted to kill them. Norman Stirling: How did you even know how to do this? Tyler Stirling: Off the internet. (GRISSOM closes his eyes.) Tyler Stirling: Dad, are you mad at me? I did it for you. Grissom: Tyler, did you make any more bombs? Where are they? Where are you keeping them? Norman Stirling: Tyler ... if you did this for me ... please tell them where they are. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KRETZKER'S RESIDENCE] (DOMINIC listens to the scanner.) Dispatch: Victor 9, victor 9, report to summit high school, prairie road. Repeat -- Prairie Road. Reported bomb outside classroom 22b, in locker 897. (DOMINIC grabs his jacket, puts it on and leaves the house. The DISPATCH continues.) Dispatch: Bomb is trigger-activated and motion-delayed. Do not handle. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. SUMMIT HIGH SCHOOL -- DAY] (The alarm rings and the voice over the PA instructs students where to go.) Man Over P.A.: All students and faculty and all school personnel please exit the building. Security detail! Let's go! (Students calmly leave the school. DOMINIC rushes into the school passing by students.) Dominic Kretzker: I need classroom 22b. Male Voice: Second floor! Dominic Kretzker: Where's 22b? [INT. STAIRS TO SECOND FLOOR - CONTINUOUS] (DOMINIC rushes up the stairs. He passes by students on their way out.) Dominic: Come on, people! Don't stop. Male Voice: Come on. MALE VOICE: Outside. P.A.: All students and all faculty... Dominic: Come on, people, don't run. P.A.: All personnel are to exit the building immediately. Male Voice: Let's go. Everybody outside. P.A.: All students and faculty please exit the facility immediately and regroup in your designated areas. (DOMINIC reaches the red lockers and takes out a pocket knife that he uses to jimmy the locker open. He opens the locker and finds the bomb inside.) (He picks up the package. As soon as he moves it, the motion trigger sets off the clock timer.) (Quick CGI POV in through the box and to the alarm clock inside. The second hand starts moving. End of CGI POV. Resume to present.) (DOMINIC cautiously carries the package and heads back for the front door.) Dominic Kretzker: Get out of my way, people. Come around me. (Sirens wail outside.) (Cut to: Outside, GRISSOM pulls up. He stops the car and runs out with the other OFFICERS. The students continue to run out of the school.) (As the last of them leave, DOMINIC exits the building carrying the package.) Grissom: Dominic, stop! Stop right there. Put it down! Dominic Kretzker: (smiles) No, it's all right. Everyone's safe. Grissom: No, no, no. Drop it. It's active! (Suddenly, DOMINIC stops smiling. He hears the clock timer ticking.) (Everything comes to a stop.) (Quick CGI POV to: Inside the package, the second hand hits 12. The charge goes off. End of CGI POV. Resume to present.) (DOMINIC looks down at the package in his hands.) (OFF GRISSOM: As GRISSOM and the others watch, the bomb explodes.) (They're thrown back by the impact of the explosion. GRISSOM sits up and takes off his glasses.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY -- DAY] (O'RILEY escorts JACK WILLMAN down the hallway. CATHERINE and NICK walk in.) Nick: Hi. Just the guy I wanted to see. (O'RILEY puts a hand on NICK to stop him from getting any closer.) Catherine: O'Riley. (CATHERINE shakes her head and they both step aside.) Nick: Tell me why you did it. Jack Willman: I got nothing to say to you, cowboy. (NICK grabs JACK and pushes his back up against the wall.) Nick: She was going back to college, turning her life around getting out of the business, and you killed her for it! Why? Jack Willman: Is that what she told you? She was getting out of the business? She was going to college to recruit more girls. Nick: Do you think I'm going to believe the John that killed her? Jack Willman: Oh, you think I was her client? I was her pimp. She was leaving me to start her own racket. So wake up. This isn't pretty woman. She's not Julia Roberts. You're not Richard Gere. (JACK takes a step aside, NICK grabs him and pushes him back up against the wall.) Nick: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess you're right. Because there's no happy ending for you. Twenty-five to life. Catherine: Get him out of here. (O'RILEY steps forward.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM -- NIGHT] (GRISSOM eats his dinner and reads the front page of the paper. He looks at it, then smiles.) Grissom: (to himself) Above the fold. (He tears out the article.) (Cut to: Out in the hallway, GRISSOM pins the article onto the bulletin board, above the section, "ONE OF OUR OWN".) (The article headline reads: LOCAL HERO GIVES HIS LIFE. There's a photo of DOMINIC KRETZKER on the right with the caption: "Dominic Kretzker Saves Summit High Students". The caption under the headline reads: "Dominic Kretzker sacrificed his life today for the students of Summit High School. The article was written by Marilyn Mancia, Staff Writer.) [The entire article reads: "Dominic Kretzker sacrificed his life today for the students of Summit High School when the bomb he was removing exploded in his hands. Mr. Kretzker, a security guard at the Hansen Building, which was bombed just days ago, learned of the bomb threat at the High School and raced there to lend a hand. As a bomb enthusiast, Mr. Kretzker had extensive knowledge of how bombs worked. He'd located the bomb in a student's locker and was carrying it away from the student population to a container. But despite his expertise, he was unable to reach safety in time. (Repeats two more times.)] (GRISSOM walks away. The camera slowly pushes into the article and the photo of DOMINIC.)

Plan: A: Sara; Q: Who is the female detective who investigates the bombing? A: Warrick; Q: Who is the third investigator in the case? A: a Vegas office building; Q: Where does a bomb go off that kills a security guard? A: Vegas; Q: Where is the office building where the bomb goes off? A: The prime suspect; Q: Who is the other security guard? A: the knowledge; Q: What does the security guard have to make a bomb? A: the night; Q: How long did Nick spend with Kristy Hopkins? A: Kristy Hopkins; Q: Who is found strangled to death? A: fingerprints; Q: Along with Nick's DNA, what other evidence is on the scene? A: Ecklie; Q: Who is Nick's boss? A: Nick's career; Q: What is on the line when Nick is a suspect in the murder of Kristy Hopkins? Summary: Grissom, Sara and Warrick investigate when a bomb goes off in a Vegas office building, killing a security guard. The prime suspect is the other security guard, who is over-helpful and also has the knowledge to make a bomb. After Nick spends the night with Kristy Hopkins, she is found strangled to death. With his DNA and fingerprints on the scene and Ecklie on the case, Nick's career is on the line.

Provided by TVTDB.com (Seattle scenes) MVO: In the hospital, we see addiction every day. (George is at Meredith's house talking with Izzie) George: I...I feel this, uh, this...this, uh, this exhilaration. It's like I...it's like I finally figured it out. You know what it's like? It's like when...it's like I was sleeping, and I...it's like I woke up. And it's just...it's just amazing. MVO: It's shocking how many kinds of addiction exist. (Derek and Meredith are in bed and just finished having s*x) Meredith: This is the best breakup ever. Derek: I don't know why we didn't break up a long time ago. Meredith: What are you doing? Derek: Sleeping. Meredith: No. No sleepovers. Derek: Please. It's 3:00 in the morning. I gotta work tomorrow. Meredith: We agreed. No sleepovers. Broken up people don't sleep over. s*x only. It's the only part of the relationship that works. Derek: I know. Why screw it up with everything else, right? Dinner, conversations. Meredith: You're mocking my severe emotional limitations. Derek: You know, I could live without conversation. I could live without meals or sleepovers. Well, we shouldn't have sleepovers because you snore. But mockery? Mockery, unh-unh. Meredith: Okay, s*x and mockery it is. MVO: It would be too easy if it was just drugs and booze and cigarettes. (George and Izzie) George: She said she loved me, and...And, you know, my dad, he...oh, god, he loved her. And...and, you know, when he died then he...I...I shouldn't have gotten married. (Cristina is sitting in her empty apartment with all of the wedding presents) MVO: I think the hardest part of kicking a habit is wanting to kick it. I mean, we get addicted for a reason, right? (Cristina frantically tears open the presents) (George and Izzie) George: I thought it was right, but it wasn't. It's not. Izzie: It's not. George: No. MVO: Often...too often...things that start out as just a normal part of your life at some point cross the line to obsessive... compulsive... out of control. George: I...I gotta tell her. I have to tell her that the marriage is over. It's the right thing to do. (George leaves then reenters) George: Did you see how I walked out of here all determined? Izzie: It made me proud. MVO: It's the high we're chasing, the high that makes everything else...fade away. (George leaves again) Izzie: He loves me, too. (Derek and Richard are at the OR board) Richard: What do you think of the board? Derek: Good. It looks good. Richard: Oh, I didn't do it. I'm delegating. I am being a delegator. I'm doing it all different, making time for my wife. Derek: Oh, yeah? She talking to you yet? Richard: She will when she sees I'm a delegator. I...I should move that surgery up there. Derek: Junkie. Richard: Yeah. Right, right. It's good. It's fine. Okay. I'm delegating. See? Being a delegator. (Richard walks away and Mark walks up) Mark: What's wrong with the chief? Derek: He's a junkie. Mark: Him? You're the one who looks all strung out. Derek: I'm just tired. Mark: Let me guess. You and Meredith are back together, and you've been up all night doing the horizontal salsa. Derek: Mambo. Horizontal mambo. And Meredith and I, we're just friends. Mark: Sexy friends? Derek: You're like the worst, most juvenile human being I've ever met in my life. Mark: You know the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem? Derek: How many nurses have you slept with this week? Mark: That's not a problem, man. That's an adventure. (Cristina is at the nurse's station surrounded by appliances) Tyler: It is beautiful. Izzie: I know. It's a Belgian flip round pro. Tyler: What do you want for it? Cristina: What do you got? Tyler: Next time I get a projectile vomiter, I could lose your pager number. Cristina: You gotta do better than that. Surgeries, baby. Preferably cardio. (Meredith walks up) Meredith: Are these all, wedding gifts? Izzie: Yes. She's giving them away. Cristina: I'm not giving you the Mixmaster. Meredith: I think the tradition is you're supposed to return them. Cristina: Well, Burke registered for this crap. Now I'm the one stuck dealing with it. So I'm using it for professional gain. (Mark walks up) Mark: You sure you're ready to part with this? Izzie: She's not. I want it. Cristina: I am if I can help on the rhomboid flap in your next Mohs defect repair. Mark: Come to daddy. Alex: You steal this stuff? Izzie: Make her give me something. Alex: Give her something. Izzie: Give me the Mixmaster. Cristina: Face it. You have nothing I want. (Bailey walks up) Bailey: Would you look at the residents? Big, snazzy residents, standing around playing with house wares. Cristina: Turn a blind eye and the soup tureen's yours. Four! Take this mix...hey! Take the Mixmaster and all this crap and put it in my locker. Carnage in the pit. My day's improving. Follow. Lexie: Uh, we're not gonna round? Cristina: Carnage trumps rounds, three. Write that down. Carnage always trumps rounds. (George walks up to Callie in the hall) George: Callie. Callie: Oh, hey. I know, I know. I never made it home last night. But I got swamped with paperwork and fell asleep in an on call room. George: I need to talk to you when you have time. Callie: I have no time. I'm out of time. This chief resident thing is kicking my ass. George: Later, then. Tonight, when we're alone? Callie: Is it serious? (Richard enters) Richard: What do we got? Callie: A gas main blew in an apartment building. Five injured, some badly. Cristina: Excellent. Horrible. It's horribly sad. (Ambulance bay) Ambulance Driver: Marla Kristler, 34-year-old female, abdomen blown out, skull fracture, third-degree burns over at least 40% of her body. Richard: Okay, I got this. Open OR two. Page Dr. Shepherd. Torres, triage the rest. Callie: Yes, sir. Yang, you're with the chief. Go. Cristina: Oh, thank you. Uh, one, four, come with me. Lexie: What about us? Cristina: Uh... go help Bailey in the clinic. (Another ambulance pulls up Dave Kristler and his son get out) Dave: my wife...she came in...in another ambulance. Is she here? Where...where'd they take her? Callie: Yeah, yeah. She'll be going straight to surgery. Sir, are you injured? Dave: No. My son! Ambulance Driver: 18 months old, contusions, possible head injury. BP and pulse are elevated. Callie: Karev! Alex: I'm supposed to be on plastics. Izzie: I'll take it. Callie: I called Karev. You're with the Kristlers. Izzie: What about me? Callie: Oh, you up late last night? You look a little tired. Perhaps you should sit this one out. Izzie: I'm fine. Not up late. Went to bed early. (Another trauma room) Mark: Hello, Mister... Archie: Roche. Archie Roche. Callie: Age 60,second and third-degree burns over chest and upper abdomen, facial contusions and possible shoulder fracture. Archie: One minute I'm reading the sports section, the next I'm flat on my back looking up at a hole in the ceiling right into Dave and Marla's apartment. Mark: These burns should be debrided while he gets worked up. Callie: All right. We'll do a trauma series and shoulder films. Stevens. Izzie: Got it. Where's your pain? Archie: Just promise me you'll take care of Marla and the baby, okay? Mark: Are they your family, sir? Archie: They might as well be. (Derek is examining the Kristler baby) Derek: How close to the explosion was he? Dave: Oh, we were, uh, we were in the living room, his mom was in the kitchen. Derek: The gas line blew? Dave: I...I think it was the stove. Derek: All right, we're gonna run some tests on your baby. Karev, I'm going into surgery with the chief. Keep me posted. (George, Meredith and Bailey are in another trauma room with Clark) Clark: Marla and David are friends. I was just leaving when the...when the kitchen blew up. The blast knocked me into a wall. Meredith: Have you seen this? Clark: Grim. You guys look grim. Bailey: Uh, Clark, we need to get a CT to check for internal bleeding. Clark: Internal bleeding? I was on my way to work. (Bailey is in the ER hallway) Bailey: Um, hey, I need a resident to help me out in the clinic to oversee the new interns while I'm working on this patient. Callie: No, I'm sorry. I can't help. Bailey: You can't help? Callie: The clinic is voluntary, Bailey. I'm not gonna force any residents to go in there with this much going on in the pit, but you can have as many interns as you need, okay? (Cristina is at the nurse's station) Cristina: And tell Dr. Kent he's gotta find himself another OR, the chief's taking his. Tyler: I want the waffle maker. Cristina: Haven't we already covered this? Tyler: Yeah, but now I got something you want. Cristina: Oh, yeah? What? (Mama Jane Burke enters and Cristina ducks behind the desk) Jane: Hello I'm Jane Burke. Tyler: Dr. Burke's mother. How nice to see you. Jane: Uh, I'm looking for Dr. Cristina Yang. Tyler: Yang, Yang? Let me see. Dr. Yang...I'll page her, but I think she's in surgery. Jane: I'll wait. Tyler: Waffle maker? Cristina: Fine. (Meredith enters) Meredith: What's the 9-1-1? Jane: Mama is here. (Izzie enters) Izzie: I'm working with Callie. Callie. Gotta find George. Meredith: Your mother? What? Cristina: Mama. Mama is here. Izzie: Seen George, Mer? He's your intern. Meredith: Oh, Burke's mother. Cristina: Yeah, make the synapses fire a little more quickly, Meredith. Meredith: You know, I was just with a patient. I'd be very happy to go back there. Cristina: No, no, no. You have to help me. Izzie: I'll help for the Mixmaster and George's current location. (Richard walks past on his way to the OR) Richard: Dr. Yang, you scrubbing in? Cristina: Yes, sir. Absolutely. Cristina: Just get rid of her, okay? Politely. (Cristina leaves and Izzie just stares at Meredith) Meredith: What? Izzie: George! (Dave is in the trauma room with his son who is still screaming loudly) Dave: Come on, B. It's okay. Brian, stop crying, baby. I can't...I can't think, baby. I'm...why won't he stop crying? Alex: Hey there, Brian. Whoa, you're a big boy. Do you work out, huh? You take care... take care of yourself. Female Intern: Dr. Karev. CT Results. Should I page Shepherd? Alex: No, he's in surgery. Let me take a look. Dave: What do you see? Alex: Uh, there's nothing acute. Dave: Acute? Nothing? Alex: Yeah, I'm gonna...I need to run a couple more tests, okay? (He whispers to the Intern) Alex: Schedule an MRI. Female Intern: Why? Alex: Because I said so, Nancy Drew. Just do it. (Bailey is walking Lexie and another intern through the clinic) Bailey: Rooms one and seven are private and should be used for private conversations with patients, not for closed-door socializing. All carts are setup the same. Memorize where everything is. Male Intern: Will we be able to do procedures on our own? Bailey: No. You are interns. All procedures will be discussed and overseen by an upper level. All charts will be signed out by an upper level. And all patients will be looked at by someone other than you! Lexie: And what if...ooh! I'm sorry. Uh, I, uh, sorry. What if we can't find anyone? (Meredith enters the waiting room where Jane Burke is) Meredith: Mrs. Burke. What a surprise to see you here. Are you visiting someone? Jane: You're the maid of honor. Miss Grey. Meredith: That's me. Jane: When you stood up in front of Preston's friends and loved ones and you said, "It's over. It's over. It's so over" were you trying to smash the hopes of the best man, or were you just trying to be funny? Meredith: I... Jane: Because making light of that situation would be inappropriate. And to use that moment to send a message to your boyfriend... well, that's... selfish. So were you being inappropriate, or were you being selfish? Meredith: I, uh... am, uh...I apologize for that, Mrs. Mama, ma'am. I'm just gonna go. Okay. Jane: Miss Grey? Meredith: Yes, ma'am. Jane: When you report back to Cristina, would you tell her, please, that I am waiting for her and that I will continue to wait for her? Meredith: Yes, ma'am. (Izzie, Callie and Archie are in his trauma room. Izzie knocks over some instruments) Izzie: Sorry. Sorry. Archie: Any news on Marla? My neighbor. I promise, as soon as I hear something, I'll, uh, give you an update. (Izzie knocks over some more instruments) Izzie: Crap. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry. Callie: 3-part proximal humerus fracture. He's gonna need a percutaneous reduction and internal fixation. Archie: That boy of theirs...Brian...gorgeous. Sometimes they're not...kids. Sometimes they're ugly. You have any kids, doctor? Mark: Not that I know of. Archie: Not married either, are you? Mark: I'm afraid I haven't found anybody who will put up with me. Archie: Well, get on the stick. Don't do like I did. Don't be a bachelor your whole life. You can only play the field for so long. Then suddenly one day, your whole life passes you by, and those parts aren't working like they used to. Mark: They have medicine for that now. Archie: They don't have medicine for that "all alone" part, now do they? Mark: No, I suppose not. Archie: You got some pretty ones right here. Callie: Oh, I'm off the market, Mr. Roche. I...I'm very happily married. (Izzie knocks over even more instruments) Izzie: I'm really sorry. Sorry. (Izzie is in the hall with George) Izzie: You can't tell her. George: What? We decided. I'm supposed to tell her. I have to tell her tonight. Izzie: No, I know. You can't. You just...you can't, okay? I'm working with her. She's my boss. George: Damn it! Izzie: Maybe it'll just work itself out if we wait. You'll grow apart. George: Izzie...she's been working long hours. Izzie: Maybe she's avoiding you. Maybe she's having an affair. George: Izzie... Izzie: Don't tell her. George: How long would you suggest I wait until I tell her about us? Izzie: I don't know. At least until she's not in such a bad mood. George: A week? A month? Izzie: I'm sorry. George: But...well, then, you know, we can't, uh... Izzie: I know. George: Then you better walk away. Izzie: I better walk away. Yeah, I really better walk away. (Bailey passes Meredith in the hall) Meredith: So George has Clark in line for his CT. Bailey: Grey. Meredith: Yes Bailey: Grey. Meredith: Yes. Bailey: Okay, I need you to work in the clinic, Grey. Meredith: Well... Bailey: No, no. Before you open your mouth and tell me all the reasons why you can't, just...just let me say this...I need this, because I have idiots...you understand me, Grey? Idiot interns are down there in my clinic, a clinic dripping with my blood, sweat and tears, Grey, and I am not convinced...not at all convinced...that they will not burn it down with their ineptitude. Look, no, I'm not telling, 'cause I...I understand I do not have the authority to tell. So I'm asking...nicely. Okay, I'm just saying, if I ever did anything for you, like, I don't know, save your life...if you ever felt you owed me a debt of thanks, now is when I'd like to collect. Please. (Meredith enters the clinic and suddenly sees Lexie) Meredith: Oh, no. Lexie: Hey, are you working down here today? Meredith: Uh, I don't, um, know. Lexie: Great. Well, we have no idea what we're doing. Plus, I was really hoping we'd get a chance to speak. So...yay. Meredith: Yay. (George is giving Clark a cat scan) Clark: I can't believe this. This is surreal. George: You claustrophobic? Clark: No, I'm not claustrophobic. It's just, I was on my way to work, you know? I was on my way to work and I stopped at a friend's house, and the next thing you know, I'm in a cat scan machine. It's like...how did this happen? (Female Intern enters the room where Alex is with Dave and Brian) Female Intern: Dr. Karev. Alex: Lab work? Female Intern: It's crazy, isn't it? Alex: Stay here. Stay in this room and do not leave. Do not leave that man alone with that child. Richard: Dr. Yang, was that Dr. Burke's mother I saw in the waiting room earlier? Derek: Mrs. Burke is here? Cristina: I don't think...I wouldn't know, sir. Richard: Okay. How are we doing up there, Shepherd? Derek: Good. She looks good from my end. Richard: That's the best part about the job, don't you think? Giving good people second chances. (George is talking with Clark) George: Believe me, I know. I get it. But, you know, it's life. It happens. You know, you're going down one path, and all of a sudden, then you realize, like, oh, no, no, no, this is the...this is the wrong path. This is...no, this isn't the path for me. And...and it's...and it's good because you learn and you realize that you can handle it. And you can. You can handle this. You...Clark. Clark! Clark...code blue. We need a crash cart in here. (Alex enters Martha's OR) Alex: Chief. The 1 year old...Brian Kristler? He's strung out on meth. Richard: What? Alex: Yeah, it was a meth lab that blew up. This woman and her husband are running a meth lab. Richard: Oh. (George is trying to revive Clark) George: Clear. (Clark suddenly breathes) (Martha's OR) Derek: Ah yes. The joys of surgeondom. Saving the lives for those who deserve it the most. Richard: Tell Dr. Torres to follow exposure protocol for children. Tell her I am counting on her to take care of this. Alex: Got it Derek: Sure you don't want page somebody to take over so you can go handle that? Richard: I'm trying to get back with my wife, Derek. In order to get back with my wife, I have to learn how to... Derek: Delegate. Richard: Dr. Torres can handle this. (Callie and Alex are walking in the hall) Callie: They were shooting him up with... Alex: No, they weren't shooting him up. When you cook meth, the fumes, they coat the walls, the floors. The baby walks around, crawls around, puts it's hands in its mouth, it gets in his bloodstream. Callie: God. Okay, um, call the police and social services. I'll spread the word. Alex: Wait, what about the dad? He's still in therewith the kid. You call the police and social services. You let them take care of the dad. You take care of the baby. (Callie walks up to Mark as Alex walks off) Callie: Sloan. We got a situation. (Izzie is debrieding Archie's burns) Archie: You're doing a fine job. You were acting awfully odd before, had me a little nervous, but... (Mark enters) Mark: Mr. Roche, I'm gonna ask you a question. I don't want you to be offended by it, but the answer could affect your surgery. Archie: Fine. Fire away. Mark: Are you a crystal meth user? Izzie: You're kidding, right? He's, like, 60. Mark: No judgment, sir. All I need's a yes or no answer. Archie: Crystal what? Izzie: It's a drug, sir. Um, it's addictive and very dangerous. Archie: Well, unless you put it in my blood pressure medicine, I never touched the stuff. Izzie: What's going on? Mark: The Kristlers had a meth lab in their apartment. It's what caused the explosion. Archie: Marla and Dave had a drug lab in their apartment? Archie: No. Impossible. Absolutely not. I've known those two for five...five years. We go on picnics, to ball games. I babysit for them. I babysit for drug dealers? (George is walking through the hall with Clark when Bailey and Callie walk up) Bailey: O'Malley! What happened? George: He coded. Callie: He coded? George: Coded, out of nowhere. Heart stopped. Coded. Callie: Probably a drug addict. George: What? Callie: That's what I came here to tell you. That fire that he was in, it was a meth lab explosion. He could have cardiomyopathy from meth use. That would explain it. George: Oh... it's a miracle I got him back. Callie: Wait, you ran the code yourself? Where's Grey? George: She's covering in the clinic. Callie: What the hell is she doing in the clinic? I thought I told you to take interns. Bailey: I didn't want interns. (Callie storms off) George: Sorry about that. Bailey: Some things, O'Malley, some things just don't need to be told. (Meredith is examining a woman in the clinic) Meredith: How about here? Does it hurt here? Patient: Weird. Meredith: It feels weird? Patient: No. That lady is staring at me... or my fat. Meredith: Oh, don't worry. She's staring at me. I'll be right back, okay? (Cristina enters the clinic) Cristina: Well? Meredith: How'd surgery go on the mom? Cristina: Yeah, she'll live. Whatever. Meredith: Oh, I tried. I tried. Mama is not budging, and she is very scary. Cristina: Yeah, obviously. What does she want? Did Burke send her? Meredith: I don't know. I mean, you have to go. You have to go deal with mama. Just go get it over with and then when you're done, come back and tell me all about it because I could really use a pick-me-up. Cristina: Okay, mama showdown is not for your enjoyment. Besides, my patient is stable and until I'm paged, I'm gonna stay right here. (They look back and Lexie is still staring) Cristina: She keeps staring at us. Meredith: I know. Cristina: Make her stop. Meredith: You make her stop. Cristina: You're her sister. Meredith: I'm an only child. You're her resident. Cristina: If you have time to stare, you have time to get me coffee, so move, move, move. Two, stay. Meredith: Now see? If you could just do that with mama... [SCENE_BREAK] (George walks past the waiting room where Jane Burke is) George: Mrs. Burke! Jane: I don't think I know you. George: I'm George O'Malley. I'm a friend of Burke's. I was Burke's guy. Jane: Hi, George O'Malley...Burke's friend, Burke's guy. Please sit. George: I guess I have a minute. You know one time he let me live on his sofa when I had no place else to stay? How is he? Is he...okay? Jane: He's Preston. He's a gentleman. And so... he doesn't like to talk about it. And I just really don't know what to say to him. George: Maybe, uh...I don't know. Maybe you can tell him that he dodged a bullet. I mean, marriage is...once you're in, you're in. Burke is smart, you know? He didn't make a mistake. 'Cause it's a mistake that, you know, it's hard to take back. Which, even if you want to take it back, you can't. So you can tell him that. Jane: Once you're in, you're in. Make sure you have that engraved on your wedding ring when you get married. George: Oh, I'm already married. Jane: You're already married? George O'Malley...Burke's friend, Burke's guy...staying in a marriage out of obligation? That's no way to live. That's no way to love. But I think you know that. George: I do. Sometimes I do. (Meredith enters the nurse's office where Derek is) Meredith: Oh, your timing could not have been more perfect. Where are we going? Derek: What do you mean, where are we going? Meredith: You paged me, right? Derek: I did. Meredith: Good. So on call room? Derek: You know, I was thinking maybe we could, uh, go to the cafeteria. Thought you might be hungry. Why are you looking at me like that? Meredith: Derek, we agreed..."s" and "m" only. Derek: "S" and "m"? Meredith: s*x and mockery. Derek: Right, "s" and "M. Meredith: So you're eating lunch? Derek: I am. Want to come? Meredith: No. Meet me in the lobby at 8:00. And eat your dinner first. Derek: Yeah, great. Perfect. (Alex is in with Dave and Brian) Dave: That's a really big needle, man. Do you have to use such a big needle? Alex: His IV came out, and he needs to be hydrated. Dave: Okay, okay. Look, I'm...shh. It's all right Look, I'm just...I'm freaking out a little bit here. I mean, do you think you could get me an update on my wife? Alex: Your wife has a crater in her abdomen, so even if she does survive surgery, it's gonna be a long, hard, painful recovery. Dave: She's gonna be okay, right? I mean, she's gotta be okay. Brian, please, sweetheart, look at me. Brian, okay, stop crying. Brian, please. Brian, stop crying! Alex: He can't stop crying! Okay? He can't stop crying because his nervous system is shot. He can't stop crying because his brain and his heart and his renal system are all compromised. He can't stop crying because he's in withdrawal from crystal meth, you son of a bitch. Dave: No, no. That's impossible. He wasn't in the room when we were making it. Alex: It was all over your apartment, okay? I tested him 'cause I smelled it on his skin. Dave: I love my son. Okay, we...we were broke. I lost my job. And I'm a good dad, and I love my family. Alex: Well, now you can love your family from jail. (Dave punches Alex knocking him out then takes Brian) Dave: I'm sorry. (Richard enters the OR where Callie and Izzie are) Richard: Dr. Torres. Callie: Yeah, chief. Richard: "Yeah, chief"? Is it that you don't know what's going on in my hospital, Dr. Torres, or that you don't care? Callie: Um, I'm sorry. I guess I don't know. Richard: I delegated the meth lab situation to you. And now one of your residents has been attacked and a baby is missing. Callie: I don't understand. I told Karev to take... Richard: I don't want to hear any of your excuses. Finish up here. You better hope that baby shows up. (Richard leaves) Izzie: I think you're a good chief resident. Callie: What? Izzie: I know...I know that you've been having a hard time with it, and...and this thing with the baby... clearly it's not an easy job, and I think you're doing a good job at it. Callie: I can take it from here. Izzie: What? Callie: Get out of my OR, Stevens. Now! (Meredith is in the clinic stitching up Alex's laceration) Meredith: So the happy little family makes meth. Alex: There's no such thing as a happy family. (Cristina is pacing) Alex: What's with her? Meredith: Well, mama Burke is here, and we don't know why. My guess is that she's here to kill Cristina. She's hovering again. Cristina: If you're done with the charts, go fold something, like, you know, sheets. Meredith: What are you lookin' at? Don't look at her. Alex: Your sister. She's hot. Meredith: I'm an only child. Don't talk to me about Lexie. Alex: Oh, the police want to talk to me. Cristina: You know, all I want to know is why she's here. Is that too much to ask? (Derek sits down in the waiting room with Jane Burke) Derek: He's not returning my phone calls anymore. Jane: He's doing his best. Do you think...do you think she really loved him...Cristina? Derek: I...I think she loved him the best that she knew how. Jane: And that would not have been enough for you either? Derek: No. It wouldn't have been enough for me either. Jane: So you would've ended it, too? Derek: Well... burke and I are...are built differently. He's stronger than I am. He was strong enough to... and, um, we're not built the same. Jane: Honorable men are all built the same. Derek: And you think I'm an honorable man? Jane: Do you know when to walk away? Do you know when not to take less than you deserve? If you do, then you're an honorable man. (George is talking with Clark) George: When you got injured in the fire, the shock to your body combined with the drugs and the damage...your heart seized up, and you went into cardiac arrest. You're also bleeding internally, so you need to stay for observation, which means that you are probably about to go into withdrawal. But you can't leave because it is still quite possible that you'll need surgery. Clark: You got any good news, Dr. O'Malley? George: I wish I could say yes. (Callie is frantically looking for Brian) Callie: Come on. Where are you? Damn it! (Mark walks up) Mark: How's the surgery on the old guy? Callie: Fine. Mark: Callie? Callie: Damn it. I can't talk right now. I have to find a baby. Mark: Are you okay? Callie: A baby was lost... on my watch. I am chief resident. I am responsible. And the chief, he gave this to me, and I blew it. And...and now a baby's missing. So no, I'm not okay. Mark: No. No, you are not okay. Callie: Plus, I think...I think my husband's having an affair. Mark: Well, if that's true, he's an idiot. and if that's true, you need to talk to him. You know, as an alternative to destroying your career. (Lexie walks up to Meredith who is in the clinic) Lexie: Um, Dr. Grey...I was wondering, do you know where the thermometers are? 'Cause... Meredith: Do you really not know where the thermometers are, Lexie? Or are you just looking for an excuse to talk to me? Lexie: I... Meredith: Simple question, Lexie. Are you an idiot or a stalker? Okay, that was a mean thing to say. I'm aware of that because I'm generally not a me but I'm a person who just doesn't want to know you. And you are a person who's making that very difficult. So please, just stop making it so difficult for me to not know you. Okay? (Derek is examining Martha when he hears Dave's voice from inside the bathroom) Dave: Brian, oh, my God. Please, wake up, baby. Please. Derek: Mr. Kristler. Dave: He won't wake up. He was shaking, and then he just...he just...he won't wake up. Derek: Let me take him, Mr. Kristler. Dave: No, I love my baby. I don't want to leave my baby. Derek: It sounds like he had a seizure. Okay, please let me... Dave: I don't want to go to jail. Derek: You don't want him to die, so if you love him, please let me take him. I'm sorry! Let me take him. Dave: Baby, please. (Brian is in an OR now. Bailey and Alex are in the viewing room) Bailey: He had a stroke. A one year old with a stroke. Alex: You can yell, you know? Bailey: Not my job anymore. Alex: I'm just saying, you can if you want. I...I deserve it. Bailey: Oh, you do deserve it. You do deserve, Dr. Karev, to be chastised for your stunningly poor decision making. You...you've certainly earned a-a reprimand for your unbelievably destructive tactical error. You got in the face of a drug dealer? You got in the face of a drug dealer before the police had arrived...you got in the face of a known felon while his 1-year-old child was still in the room? Are you stupid? Are you without intelligence? Because I know you were taught better than that. I taught you better than that, Dr. Karev. Gettin' in the face of a drug dealer. Fool. Alex: Thank you. Bailey: Oh, no. Thank you. (Lexie walks up to Meredith who is still in the clinic) Lexie: I am a nice person. Okay, I...I am. And...I don't know what it is that I did to you, but, you know, we have the same dad. So I was just thinking that a simple conversation... Meredith: We don't have the same dad, Lexie. You and I, we do not have the same dad. My dad disappeared when I was 5 years old, and I never saw him again. Does that sound like the daddy you grew up with? I kicked a man out of my bed in the middle of the night...the world's most perfect man, who loves me, and I can't let him. And it doesn't take a shrink to figure out why. Because our dad chose you. So I'm sure you are a very nice girl, Lexie. But I hope you can understand, you're not a girl I ever wanted to have to know. (George is sitting with Clark who is going into withdrawal) Clark: I never even tried drugs until I was 30. Stupid. I'm so stupid. I went to a party, and there was all this...this meth floating around and...I just figured, what the heck? Once won't kill you. And then...and then it's more than once, then it's all you can think about, and then...then you're outside your dealer's house at 7:00 in the morning. This isn't me. It...it isn't. I'm not this guy. I'm...I'm not this guy. I'm not this guy. George: Clark? (Clark codes) (Cristina finally goes to talk to Jane) Cristina: Hello. Jane: It took you long enough. Cristina: Yes. Jane: I came for Preston's key. I'd like to pick up some of his things and the necklace I gave you for the wedding. Cristina: Of...of course. Just, uh, leave it under the mat when you're done. Jane: And I wanted to say I'm sorry. I... I've come to know you, I think. And what you love even more than Preston is being a surgeon. You are planning to continue with cardiothoracic surgery like my son, am I correct? Cristina: Yes. Jane: So I'm sorry you lost the man you love. But more than that, I'm sorry you lost your teacher. With him by your side...you could've become a brilliant heart surgeon. Cristina: I see. Jane: You're a strong woman, Cristina. I respect that. I wish I could've been born at another time. I might be more like you. So I shall leave the key under the mat. Cristina: Uh, can you take the gifts? There are all these wedding gifts, and I can't...can you...can you please take them away? Jane: Of course I can. Cristina: He's never coming back, is he? Not even to say good-bye. Jane: Remember... you're a strong woman. (George is talking with Izzie as Clark is rolled out) George: His heart couldn't take it. There was just too much damage. He couldn't take it. I'm not this guy. I won't be this guy who...I'm going to tell her. (Callie walks up to Richard) Callie: Oh, chief. Richard: I, uh...I've got paperwork, Dr. Torres. Kidnapped babies make for a lot of paperwork. I was planning on maybe going to see my wife tonight. But instead, I get to do this. Callie: I could help. I mean, I...I could...I could help. Richard: No, you've helped enough for one day. (Martha wakes up) Martha: What... how did I get... Cristina: You were cooking crystal meth and the substances exploded. Martha: Where's...where's my... Cristina: Your husband and your son, uh, sustained only minor injuries. Although it seems, um, your son had been passively ingesting methamphetamine. He suffered a stroke earlier today and went into surgery this afternoon. I believe the surgery went smoothly. Your husband was taken by the police, and I'm sure they'll be wanting to speak to you as well. Oh, okay. Okay, you know what? Just try...try to breathe. Slowly. Slowly. Breathe. I'm sure it must feel...as though everything is coming apart. But you can get through this. Just...breathe. breathe. MVO: The thing about addiction is it never ends well. (Lexie is in the locker room and breaks down crying) MVO: Because eventually whatever it is that was getting us high...stops feeling good and starts to hurt. (Derek is sitting in a dark room and Mark enters) Mark: Want to grab a drink? Derek: I have a problem. Mark: What's up? Derek: No, I'm just...I'm admitting I...I have a problem. (Izzie is in Archie's room) Archie: What's gonna happen to them and the baby? Izzie: Um... his grandmother is coming for him. I think she's gonna take custody. Archie: They were it. They were my family. Can you imagine? After 60 years on this planet...my family's a couple of drug dealers and their kid. Izzie: You know, just because people do horrible things, it doesn't always mean they're horrible people. MVO: Still, they say you don't kick the habit 'til you hit rock bottom. But how do you know when you're there? (George walks up to Callie in the hall) Callie: So I take it you still want to talk? George: Yeah, I do. Callie: No. George: No, I... Callie: No, you don't. George, please. Just...please, please don't say anything. Please. I am asking you as your wife. I am asking you not to say anything. I am asking you to just not. Not tonight. I am your wife. Do this for me? George: Okay. (Meredith is waiting in the lobby when Mark walks out) Mark: Dr. Grey. I'm heading over to Joe's. You want to grab a drink? Meredith: Oh, no, thanks. I'm, uh, meeting someone. (Derek is watching from the balcony) Mark: Yeah. Derek asked me to track you down. He's, uh, stuck with a patient. Not gonna be able to meet you. Sends his apologies. Meredith: Oh, okay. Mark: So... Joe's? Meredith: I think I'm going home. (Derek sees her walking away dejected and calls to her) Derek: Meredith. MVO: Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us...sometimes letting it go hurts even worse. (They walk out together) (Cristina enters her apartment to find the gifts as well as all of Burke's things gone. She sits down in the chair looking very sad)

Plan: A: An apartment explosion; Q: What event inundates the ER with patients? A: Alex; Q: Who jeopardizes a family when he realizes the cause of the apartment explosion? A: mockery; Q: What is the "M" in S&M? A: their relationship; Q: What does Meredith try to get Derek to think about? A: the wrong idea; Q: What does Derek get from Meredith's "S&M" approach? A: Cristina; Q: Who begins giving her wedding gifts to her colleagues in exchange for surgeries? A: Mama Burke; Q: Who returns to collect Burke's things? A: the doctors; Q: Who does Mama Burke give advice to? A: George; Q: Who decides to break up with Callie after realizing that he has feelings for Izzie? A: Izzie; Q: Who stops George from breaking up with Callie? A: Bailey; Q: Who does Callie clash with after she sends Meredith to the clinic? A: the clinic; Q: Where does Bailey send Meredith after she becomes annoyed with Lexie and another intern? A: Meredith rebuffs Lexie's attempts; Q: What happens to Lexie's attempts to get to know Meredith? A: Webber; Q: Who begins delegating in a bid to get back with Adele? Summary: An apartment explosion inundates the ER with patients, and Alex jeopardizes a family when he realizes the cause of the accident. Meanwhile, Meredith intrigues Derek with an "S&M" (sex and mockery) approach on their relationship, and Derek gets the wrong idea. Cristina begins giving her wedding gifts to her colleagues in exchange for surgeries. Mama Burke returns to collect Burke's things, and gives judgement and advice to the doctors. George decides to break up with Callie after realizing that he has feelings for Izzie, but Izzie stops him when she has to work with Callie, and sees how she's struggling. Callie clashes with Bailey after she sends Meredith to the clinic after becoming annoyed with Lexie and another intern. Meredith rebuffs Lexie's attempts to get to know her. Webber begins delegating in a bid to get back with Adele.

Mr. Simpson: My diligent locker custodians. I'll be back in 15 minutes to inspect all your hard work and once they're clean...hello summer! Jimmy: 23 hours and 10 minutes and I'll be on a plane to LA Hazel: and the best summer basketball camp in the US. Spoiled much? Jimmy: My parents really wanna spoil me, they'd let me cancel right? Because when they booked in December, it was cool yeah, but that was before you. Paige: And the final sacrifice. Last falls way passé mascara and lip gloss. Spinner: And 'hunny bee's' exile to the waste land is officially over. (Throws her makeup in the garbage) Hazel: Well that's worth celebrating. Jimmy: It is and tonight is going to be a dream. A night that you'll never forget. (Shows them a limo pamphlet) Hazel: You got us a limo? Jimmy: Well we need something to get us from my place to the restaurant. Oh and by the way. Tonight's meal is on me. Paige: Hazel wanna switch boyfriends? Spinner: Oh yeah haha, oh aren't you the big hero. Jimmy: That's the plan. In the computer lab Sean: I got your note. You wanted to see me? Mr. Simpson: Have a seat. Sean: I thought school was over. (Computer screen shows Sean's grade at 49%) Mr. Simpson: You started the year off well, but your grade just kept dropping and given that you're on student welfare... Sean: Was. Until they find out I failed a course. Thanks a lot Mr. Simpson. Mr. Simpson: Creative parts database for the auto by the end of the day. Do a good job and you don't fail...clock's ticking. (Sean puts his bag down and gets to work.) At Joey's house Joey: Credit reports, credit reports. Lease agreement... Caitlin: Thank goodness you're here. I have a meeting and I left my Joey: Here you go. You are a model of efficiency. Joey: If I was I would have been back at work an hour ago. Caitlin: We're like two peas in a pod. Joey: You should move into this pod...seriously. Your already a huge part of the kids lives. I know they would love it if you moved in. More important I would love it. Caitlin: Woah, this is sudden. Joey: Think about it. Your stuff's already here...you should be too. Caitlin: I gotta get to this meeting; we'll talk at dinner ok? (They kiss) Joey: Bye Caitlin: Bye. At Jimmy's place Spinner: Uh Jimmy, you coming out of the bathroom? Jimmy: This thing doesn't fit right. Paige: Maybe 'cause you're wearing a sari. You were supposed to ask for a kurta, what Indian men wear. Jimmy: No, no 'cause I asked for two kurtas and two saris and they gave me three saris. Spinner: And you didn't check before you left the store...Sloppy work dude. Outside Jimmy's place Jimmy: So I look ok, right? Spinner: Yeah dude, you look great. You'll be the prettiest girl at the semi-formal. Hazel: I've never been in a limo before. Do we get champagne too? Jimmy: I hope so! (An ugly limo honking its horn pulls up and a guy dressed like a cowboy steps out.) Duke: Howdy girls. Duke, I'm your chauffer for the evening. Jimmy: Uh, I think there's been some mistake. Duke: Jimmy Brooks? (Jimmy nods) Duke: Ain't no mistake hound dog. Let's giddy up. Spinner: (Let's Jimmy get in before him) No, no ladies first. I like your (points to his cowboy hat) Duke: Watch your dress. At Caitlin's office (Caitlin's ordering online for personalized towels.) Thomas: His and her towels? Caitlin: Joey asked me to move in and the towels are saying 'why yes I would love to Mr. Jeremiah'. This is where you say congrats... Thomas: I was just about to, for an entirely different reason. The documentary series on Unicef's work of HIV/Aids, the station gave us their answer today! Caitlin: They said yes? Thomas: Congratulations! (They hug) Caitlin: We submitted that what, a year ago! Thomas: (Shows her a plane ticket) It's for Geneva. Leaving tonight. Caitlin: Excuse me? Thomas: Yeah, there's a world conference next month on HIV/Aids. Then you're off to Africa, India, Southeast Asia, the Caribbean... It's gonna be a Hectic 9 months. Caitlin: I can't...sorry. Thomas: This is your project. It's your baby. Caitlin: The man I loved asked me to move in and I'm not gonna turn him down. Not for this, not for anything... In the computer lab Mr. Simpson: The database seems to be working. Couple redundancies in the tables but uh, that's an easy fix so... 53, not the best mark but it's a pass. Nice work Sean. Sean: Thank you Mr. Simpson. Really... Mr. Simpson: Oh yikes! It's 6:00. I'm uh chaperoning your party tonight. Sean: I'm not going. It's not my scene. Mr. Simpson: Good time's not your scene? Sean, life can be rough and I know you've been dealt some pretty crappy hands. It can also be pretty amazing if you let it. Sean: Mr. Simpson... Mr. Simpson: You used to come to me with your problems and I'd try to help out. You don't anymore, that's cool, it's your business. It doesn't mean I've given up on you. I'll always be here for you Sean. Sean: I stole your computer. Your Alienware laptop. I stole it to get back at Emma. Mr. Simpson: But I...I lost it, my, my chemo. Sean: It wasn't your chemo and you didn't lose it. I stole it. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Mr. Simpson: You better go, now! At the same restaurant Paige, Spinner and Ashley went to on their day off Hazel: This restaurant looks incredible! Paige: More like incredibly mediocre so let's just go. Jimmy: What's wrong with you two? Spinner: K um, when we skipped school, we also skipped out on him. Jimmy: Uh, sir we have reservations under Brooks. (Spinner and Paige trying to hide) Waiter: Party of 4, right this way. At the same restaurant Joey: So Miss Ryan, I would like to discuss the offer that was tabled this afternoon. Have you come to a resolution? Caitlin: I have and my decision is yes! (Joey kisses her on the cheek) Joey: I am so happy. Caitlin: Me too. (Clinking glasses.) Caitlin: It's been one hell of a day, let me tell you...real rollercoaster. Joey: Really? You weren't sure about moving in? Caitlin: No, no of course not. Thomas had big news. They wanna do my HIV/Aids series. Joey: That's amazing! Caitlin: Yeah and amazingly bad timing 'cause um I'd have to leave tonight on a midnight flight to Geneva. Joey: So forget about dinner! Let's go pack your things. Sir can we get the uh bill? Caitlin: Joey, honey I turned it down. Joey: What? Why would you do that? Caitlin: Because I'm moving in, with you. Joey: No, you have to go I mean... This is an opportunity of a lifetime. Caitlin: I sort of thought you were my opportunity of a lifetime. Joey: I'm not going anywhere. Caitlin: Great um...Then I guess I... I gotta go. (Caitlin gets up and leaves) [SCENE_BREAK] At the dance, Craig taking pictures of everyone dancing Dylan: I think its perfect Marco! Marco: Yeah almost perfect. (Fixing some curtains) Emma: I cannot believe this is our gym. Manny: I know, they did an amazing job. JT: Though they're not doing very well in the beverage department. I noticed a distinct lack of ice. Mr. Simpson: I'm on it. I'm off to the store. (Sean and Ellie walk in.) Sean: Mr. Simpson! (He walks right by Sean) At the restaurant Hazel: Ok. On a scale of 1-10, that meal was a 20! *Kisses Jimmy) (Waiter hands Jimmy the bill.) Jimmy: Uh sir, I think you charged us for three extra dinners. Waiter: You four, plus three lunches from a few weeks ago. Don't forget to tip. Jimmy: Spin, lend me $40 bucks? Paige? (Neither of them has money) (Hazel takes out the money from her purse.) Outside the restaurant Jimmy: Hazel, I'll pay you back. Hazel: It's no big deal, really. (Cops are walking Duke to the cop car.) Duke: I swear I paid those parking tickets! All 30 of them! Paige: Well let's start walking. Duke: Hey hold on here a minute. Folks just hold your horses. The Duke don't like to leave his customers high and dry. (Whistles to a cop and points to the kids) Jimmy: We're gonna pull up to prom in a cop car? Forget it. Duke: Son your already in deeper than a stable boy after a month of Sundays (?). I'd take the car. Hazel: We'll take it Duke. Duke: My pleasure. Folks have fun at the prom. Let's dance cop. Outside the dance Mr. Simpson: C'mon! (Hitting his steering wheel since his car won't start) Sean: I can help. Pop the hood. Won't steal your engine, promise. At Caitlin's office Caitlin: So I'm covering Sub Sahara and Africa first? Thomas: Around the world in 9 months! You sure you wanna do this? Caitlin: Thomas, yes! Thomas: This afternoon you weren't. (Joey walks in) We'll talk more later. Joey: What's going on? Caitlin: Plane leaves in a couple hours since I'm taking the job. Joey: You walked out on me. Why? Caitlin: I don't know, crazy me, I thought you actually wanted me to move in. Joey: I do! But if it takes a couple of months so what!? Caitlin: It's not a couple of months. Joey it's almost a year and if you really loved me you wouldn't want me to go. Joey: I want you to go because I do love you and that's never going to change. I promise. Caitlin: You've made promises before Joey, promises you didn't keep. Joey: You have to ask yourself one thing; do you want to take this job or not? Caitlin: Yeah I do. Joey: Then I'll be here waiting for you. (Joey and Caitlin hug.) Outside the dance Sean: You've got serious problems. Mr. Simpson: I'll call for a tow. You go home. Sean: No, I wanna help! Mr. Simpson: Help, it's a little late for that isn't it? I was on death's door. Spike blows her savings on a laptop to cheer me up and you stole it. What kind of person does that? Sean: Your starters gone and your head gasket too. There's oil and coolant all over my hands. Mr. Simpson: Did you hear anything I just said? Sean: The head may even be cracked. It's a lot of work, weeks, but if you buy all the parts I'll do all the labor for free. I want, I want to Mr. Simpson. Mr. Simpson: So? Sean: So I owe you. You might hate me, but this is the only way I can make it up. Please? Inside the dance Mr. Simpson: Sure you're up to doing this? It's a pretty big commitment. Sean: I know, but I'm down with it. Mr. Simpson: I gotta get back to the dance. We'll see you Monday morning? Sean: Yeah. Ellie: Better? Sean: I think it's gonna be, yeah. Marco on stage Marco: Alright! Shubha ratri Degrassi! Welcome to our Bollywood Nights! Are we all having an amazing time or what?! Alright, so let's decide how we're gonna choose our king and queen. You'll notice some voting boxes out- (Curtains catch on fire.) Liberty: Fire! Mr. Simpson: All right everyone, we know the drill. We all need to move to the doors in a calm, quiet and (As sprinklers turn on) very wet fashion! Outside the dance as Jimmy, Hazel, Paige and Spinner pull up in the cop car Mr. Simpson: Guys keep moving please. Let's get down all the way down the stairs. We're gonna want to let these trucks go through alright? Paige: Craig! What's going on? Craig: Uh those curtains that Marco picked out, they're like totally flammable. (Fire trucks pull up.) Outside Caitlin's office (Beep, beep! A cab pulls up as Joey and Caitlin are kissing.) Joey: Well I guess this is it... Caitlin: For now! (Joey and Caitlin kiss then she gets into the cab as Joey waves goodbye.) Outside the dance, rock music is blasting and everyone's dancing and having a good time Marco: This is great and everything, but I know this amazing station that plays nothing but South Asian music so maybe if I told everybody... Dylan: Marco, just let it go! (They start dancing) Off to the side Hazel: Brooks what's the problem? Jimmy: Uh let's see I'm wearing a sari, our limo driver was arrested and the school almost burned down. Hazel: I meant with you. Jimmy: Tonight was all about me showing you that I can do right and everything went wrong. Hazel: And I don't care! I don't. Paige: Here you are! Spinner: C'mon you're missing it! Hazel: You wanna make me happy? There's only one thing you have to do. (She kisses Jimmy.) Hazel: Dance with me. (Mr. Simpson walks past Sean and smiles, Sean pulls Ellie into a hug.)

Plan: A: Degrassi; Q: Where is the end-of-the-year dance? A: Jimmy; Q: Who wants the end-of-year dance to be perfect for his date? A: their friends; Q: Jimmy wants the dance to be perfect for his date and who else? A: one; Q: How many misfortunes plague the evening? A: Sean; Q: Who steals Snake's laptop? A: Mr. Simpson's forgiveness; Q: What does Sean realize is not going to be easy to get? A: Joey; Q: Who asks Caitlin to move in with him? A: a job; Q: What is Caitlin offered in Los Angeles? Summary: It's the end-of-the-year dance at Degrassi, and Jimmy wants it to be perfect for his date and their friends, but one misfortune after another plagues the evening. Meanwhile, feeling guilty for stealing Snake's laptop, Sean decides to come clean to him, but he soon realizes that getting Mr. Simpson's forgiveness is not going to be easy. Also, Joey asks Caitlin to move in with him, but she is soon offered a job in Los Angeles.

MONTE VIDEO : Two vehicles, including a van, drive up to a monastery. Monks gather in front as Arvin Clone steps out of the car. Monk: Mr. Sloane, welcome to Mount Inferno Monastery of the Vespertine Order. AC: Thank you. Monk: You will forgive us our cautions. AC: Of course. Another monk sweeps him as we see another monk holding a rifle. AC: Hunting season? Monk: Come. Father Kampinski is waiting. Monks close the monastery gate as we see the Rambaldi eye at the top. We go inside. Kampinski: Mr. Sloane. AC: Father Kampinski. Thank you for agreeing to meet with me. Kampinski: What can I do for you, Mr. Sloane? AC: Our institute is mandated to develop methods to counter terrorism. We have, of course, heard about the work you've done here. And, you know, wanted to perhaps- Kampinski: Our bees are not for sale. AC: Well, of course they're not. What we wanted was your. . .knowledge, not your insects, per se. I understand, you've bred the aggression out of them. Kampinski: This is not strictly true. The aggression is there. The nee for it, happily, is not. Come Mr. Sloane. I'll show you. Outside. Watching bees mess with the flowers. There are monks everywhere. Kampinski: Our bees have an exceptionally venomous sting. They're very hard to antagonize. They choose productivity over aggression. Aggression is a distraction, which is why we're able to work among the apiaries without the traditional protective garments. AC: Remarkable. Kampinski: There is so very much we can learn from these exquisite beings. AC: Fascinating. Kampinski: They're imbued with a kind of grace- unlike so many humans. AC: And you've achieved that grace? How? Kampinski: Monte Inferno, we're dedicated to the- the marriage of supposed opposites, amongst them man and his science, God and his miracles coming together for the profit of all. Just think about it. The right blend of genetic engineering, dietetic supplements, behavior modification, and- AC: (nods) You could create a new species. Kampinski: Oh, no ,no, my son. Merely a better bee. One closer to God's grand design. We even have the ablilty to control their body temperatures, makes the bees work harder, longer, more in synch- all for the common good. They come to a room in a greenhouse. In that room, is a large flower. There are bees everywhere. AC: Extraordinary. Paphiodilum khan. The rarest of lady slipper orchid species, generally thought to be extinct. Kampinski: Not exactly. A close cousin. AC: No. This is the genuine article. Brought here to Italy from China by Marco Polo, 1269, a gift from Kubla Khan. Kampinski: And what do you want? AC: If I might, I'd like to spend a little time here, examine your historical papers, take a cutting of your orchid. Kampinski: A cutting? Hahaha. AC: For $50 million. Deposited immediately. To your accounts in Vanuatu and Samoa. Kampinski: Yes, it's true, I have a little put away for a rainy day. The fact is, I'm uninterested in money. I'm a man of God, not a merchant. AC: In my experience, Father, the two are hardly mutually exclusive. Kampinski: I'm so sorry you came all this way for nothing. AC: No. I'm the one who's sorry. Arvin Clone on phone. Outside. AC: (to phone) I'm coming home. Inside van, a woman snaps shut a phone. There is also a man. Woman: Plan "B". Man messes with a computer, and we see a miniature Rambaldi ball spinning quickly. The bees go crazy and start stinging people. Cries of "ow" and general screaming as the bees continue to sting, growing rapidly in momentum. Arvin Clone walks around wearing a bee mask and carrying a rifle. All the other monks lay unconscious, if not dead. He comes up to Father Kampinski, is not yet dead. Kampinski: Please. . .help me. AC: Certainly. Anti- venom. (holds up a tube) Enough to give you a shot of actually surviving. But first, the Rambaldi orchid formulas. Which you used on your bees. Kampinski: You go to hell. AC: You first. (he shoots him with the rifle) Infirmary. Jack sitting on a hospital bed, with the nurse holding his arms up. Sydney looks on. Nurse: Now keep both arms up. Like this. Jack: Yes, I know, I know. You tell me every day, thank you. (to Sydney) They treat me like an idiot. (he starts to put his arms down) Sydney: Keep them up Dad. It's for your own good. Dr. Liddel said you have to follow the procedure to the letter if you want to make a full recovery. (she buttons his cufflinks for him) Jack: I never thanked you for what you did- helping to find Liddel. Sydney: You don't have to. (buttons his other sleeve) Jack: That other charade- you pretending to be your mother- whose idea was that? Sydney: Sloane's. You were living in 1981. You were delusional. It was the only way we could get you to reveal LIddel's whereabouts. You told her, dad. You told mom you were a CIA agent. You broke protocol. That's how she stole Agency secrets. Jack: (referring to his arms) I'm putting these down now. Sydney: You also said you were thinking about resigning from the CIA. (pause) You would have, right dad? If she hadn't left? Jack: I didn't like being away all the time. Not being a part of your life. Sydney: You're part of it now. Nadia walks in as Sydney helps Jack put on his jacket. Nadia: They're ready for the briefing. Sydney: Thank you. We're coming. Briefing room. Gang around table. Sloane: Yesterday a rare orchid was stolen from the Monte Inferno Monastery in Umbria. 45 monks were killed to obtain it. Satellite photos confirm it's the same man we encountered in Santiago, the man who claims to be me. Details are in your briefing folders. Sydney: What's so special about this orchid? Marshall: Well, it has chemical properties, which heighten receptivity in the neutral pathways. . .we think- we assume, well, we don't know, really. It's just that nobody in the scientific community has laid eyes on it for centuries. Sloane: We have been asked to recover it. Find the imposter. Get the orchid. I want a plan on my desk by 2200. That's it. Everyone gets up and leaves. Except Jack. Jack: Arvin. . .a word. Sloane: Of course. Sloane's office. Jack: You said it was harmless, this could never happen. Sloane: I didn't know it could. I never imagined the effects of the orchid could be reversed. Jack: No, but somebody did. Sloane: Let's not overreact, Jack. What we saw- the effect of the Mueller device- was a demonstration on insects, not on humans. Jack: We are staring at the potential for global disaster, in no small part because of what you've put in place. Sloane: Don't you think I realize the responsibility I bear? We need to find the orchid, Jack, not waste time arguing over what we can't change. Jack: 72 Hours. If we haven't recovered the orchid in that time, I'm going to Langley with this. It'll mean the end of you Arvin. Sloane: You too, Jack. Jack I know. 72 hours. Sydney's apartment. Sydney, Nadia, Vaughn, and Dixon. Dixon: The Italian police dead-ended on both vehicles. Satellite surveillance was a bust. Vaughn: Echelon's bone-dry. Apparently our Sloane Clone's vanished into the ether. Nadia: Then we're back to square one. Sydney: Not exactly. If we can't find him, we'll make him find us. The Vespertine papers- Rambaldi texts that refer to our stolen orchid. Rumor is they were destroyed during World War II. Vaughn: You want to bring them out of hiding? Sydney: Leak dummy intel that they were found in Father Kampinski's personal belonging's. Dixon: We can get the DSR to loan us some documents. Nadia: Set it up as an auction. Sydney: I have a contact at the Paris Antiquities House. Paris. Auction house. Nadia and Dixon walk down the stairs. Dixon: Smile and look like a lot of money. Nadia: Dollars or euros? Dixon: Euros definitely. They come up to a desk. Dixon: Mark Mullins from the Carolina Institute. Dixon: (signs paper) Ah, yes. Nadia: (desk person hands her a card) Thank you. Marshall: (on comms, watching the camera that's in Nadia's glasses) Evergreen you are on the air. Vaughn: Uplinking to APO. APO Jack, Sloane, Sydney around the table. Sydney: I'd love to be there. Sloane: It's too risky. The imposter's seen you before. Sydney: I know, just- Sloane: Nadia will do fine. Jack: Let's hope so. Back to auction room. A crowd of people sit in chairs, including Nadia and Dixon. Auctioneer: Sold, for 5 million euros to the man in the gray flannel suit. Our next item- lot 47- is a last-minute addition. The Vespertine papers. (man carries briefcase to table) All interested bidders should take a few moments to examine the documents. Look, but, please, do not touch. Nadia and a few other people walk up to the table and examine the briefcase. Sydney: Let's see who takes the bait. Nadia looks at the other buyers standing around her. Sydney: Identity? Sloane: Toshira Tokenada. Wealthy Rambaldi collector from Kyoto. (another person) Efraim Dousseau Ngumbe. Dilettante, far more money than vision. (another person) I've never seen her before. Sydney: Evergreen, get a look at her name tag. Pamela McNabb, Stanwyck Institute Marshall: Yowza. Vaughn: Easy. Marshall: What? We can't appreciate beautiful things? No, you're right, watch tv, can't touch the knobs. Jack: (looks something up on computer) It's a dummy corp. McNabb's a phony. Auctioneer: (guards take the briefcase out) We will start the bidding at 2 million euros. (man raises sign) I have 2 million. Do I hear 2.5? (other man raises sign) 2.5. Do I have 3 million? (Dixon raises sign) 4 million. 6 million. 9 million. 10 million. McNabb stops bidding and listens to a cell phone. Nadia: (notices) Our girl stopped bidding. Sloane: Something went wrong. Merlin, McNabb's cell phone. Marshall: I'm all over it. (types at a computer) Scanning to get a GSM source. Her conversation's encrypted. Auctioneer: 11.5? (McNabb gets up and leaves) Nadia: McNabb's on the move. Sydney: Stop the woman. Dixon: (sitting in a chair) Copy that. (gets up and follows) Auctioneer: 12 million? (Nadia follows McNabb) Jack: Suppose she's not working for your imposter. Sloane: No, it's her. Sydney: Then why's she leaving. Sloane: I would only stop bidding if I was certain that I could recover the papers through some other means. Auctioneer: 13 million? McNabb walks down the hall followed by Nadia and Dixon. Sloane: She's a decoy. Outrigger, check the papers. Dixon: Copy that. In the auction room, people are passed out as a guy steals the papers. Nadia chases down McNabb. Dixon enters the auction room to find people unconscious and the papers missing. Dixon: Evergreen, forget about her, the papers are gone. Out the back. (pulls out a gun and runs outside) A van is leaving. Dixon chases it, until a CIA van drives up and blocks it. Dixon, Vaughn, Nadia, and Marshall kill the drivers and open up the back to find Arvin Clone. AC: Marcus. What a surprise. Vaughn: We got him. Sloane: Good work. Bring him home. We'll make him tell us where the orchid is. APO White room. Arvin Clone is sitting in chair. Just outside, Nadia, Sydney, Marshall, watch him. Jack and Sloane enter the room. AC: Jack. Of course, I should have known. Jack: You know me. AC: Well, what kind of question is that? Of course I know you. Sloane: And me? AC: What about you? Sloane: Do you know me? SC: No. Sloane: I am Arvin Sloane. AC: I see. This is your idea, Jack- play with my sense of reality. Jack: I don't know what you're talking about. I've never met you. AC: It's not going to work. Ok. Shall we state this for the record? I am Arvin Sloane. Jack: Posing as Arvin Sloane, you recently stole a rare orchid from the Monte Inferno Monastery. Your masquerade is over. You've been caught. AC: What happens next? You deprive me of food? Try to alter my sense of time? Childish attempts to break me down. You, Jack, of all people should know that. Jack: Who are you? AC: Who am I? 1985. Belize. For 72 hours we were stuck in a safehouse questioning a revolutionary. And after you cut off- how many fingers was it?- 8, he told us what we wanted. Only you and I know that. You let it off the after- action report. How desperate the company must be to play this pitiable mind game. Think you could call this. . .actor, this- this clown, Arvin Sloane and make me doubt my own identity? Jack: Tell me, how do you account for the fact, that in the recent past, this man created and ran an international relief agency called OMNIFAM? The world knows his face as Arvin Sloane. AC: He's a CIA stooge with my good looks, and I can prove it. The affair in Santiago, I noticed that both Marcus Dixon and Sydney Bristow were in on that mission. It beggars reason to believe these same two agents would ever agree to work for the man who killed their loved ones. That's the most logical scenario. That I'm the imposter. . .or that you are? Marshall: (on the computer, moves to the other computer) This is weird. AC: And unless you have anything better to offer, either start cutting off my fingers or kindly call my lawyer. Nadia: (walks in) Marshall would like to see you. AC: Tell him I said hello. (he doesn't appear to recognize Nadia) Jack: (to Sloane) Try not to kill him. (he follows Nadia out the door and speaks to Marshall) What have we got? Marshall: Oh, hey, uh, I think you should see for yourself. (he turns the monitor so Jack can see) Jack: What am I looking at? Marshall: Well, these are the imposter's EEG readings, his brain activity. Basically every individual has a unique brain pattern, a signature, and- take a look at this other one. Sydney: They're identical. Marshall: Exactly. Jack: Whose EEG is this? Marshall: Well, that's the weird part. I pulled these from the CIA database. This is Arvin Sloane. The real Sloane. Our Sloane. Jack: You're telling me, these two men share identical brains? Marshall: For all intents and purposes, well, yes. I mean, this man is Arvin Sloane. At least his brain is. Nadia: How is that possible? Marshall: Back at SD-6, I worked on a project that focused on brain imprinting. Engram encoding. Jack: That program was run out of psy-ops, by McCullough. Nadia: Who's McCullough? Breifing room. Gang, including Sloane, sits arounds table. McCullough's picture and info pop up on a screen. Jack: Calvin McCullough, senior partner at SD-6. He headed the psychological warfare and operations division. Among the numerous programs he oversaw, was something called Project Brainstorm. It's purpose- to explore experimental technologies to aid in interrogation, brainwashing, the creation of sleeper agents, as well as the transfer of memories. From one subject to another. Sydney: This is what we think happened to this man? He was made to believe he's Sloane? Jack: Not just believe, but to act. Among other things, he shares the same desires, which explains his pursuit of Rambaldi artifacts. Marshall: Well, if you think about it, this guy's been able to stay two steps ahead of us the entire time. He thinks like you, he knows your strategies, your playbooks, your secrets. Sydney: When we were in Santiago going after Sloane Clone the first time, you knew the access code to his facility- "Jacquelyn". Sloane: I had no reference to that. It just came to me. Marshall: Probably because it's buried deep inside your subconscious, which also means it's buried inside his. Nadia: But you said they were only experimental technologies at the time. So someone must have continued McCullough's research after SD-6 was taken down. Jack: McCullough was tipped off to the raid. He evaded capture. Nadia: Who tipped him? Sloane: I did. I owed him a favor, one he clearly didn't return to me. Sydney: If McCullough is holding the strings, then we may have a lead on the orchid. Sloane: I have a good idea where he might be. Jack: I'll put Dixon and Vaughn on McCullough. In the meantime, we continue the interrogation here. Buenos Aires. McCullough is sitting at an outside table reading the newspaper. Vaughn and Dixon approach him. Dixon: I see you are enjoying your retirement. Vaughn: Don't mind if we join you, do you? (they sit, McCullough looks shocked) McCullough: It's been a long time, Mr. Dixon. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company? Dixon: Arvin Sloane sent us. The real Arvin Sloane. Tell us where the orchid is and we might be able to cut you a deal. McCullough: I don't know where it is. (McCullough rips up a piece of paper and empties the powder into his coffee cup. HOW DO DIXON AND VAUGHN NOT SEE THIS? It's right in front of their faces.) Vaughn: Listen to me if you don't want to spend the rest of your like in a federal prison, I suggest you start cooperating with us now. McCullough: And I am telling you I don't have the answers you're looking for. Dixon: We know you used Project Brainstorm technology to make that man believe he's Arvin Sloane. McCullough: And I'm not denying that. Dixon: You had him acquire the orchid for you. Where is it? McCullough: (takes a sip of coffee) Yes. I made him believe he's Sloane. But I did to good a job. He double-crossed me and kept the orchid for himself. Just like Arvin would have done. Vaughn: You're lying. McCullough: I'm beyond lying. All that really matters now is that my employer would never let me live long enough to be interrogated, and that right now I have 300 milligrams of cyanide coursing through my veins. Dixon: The coffee. Vaughn: Get an ambulance! (shouts something in Spanish) Dixon: (Dixon holds him up) Who are you working for? McCullough: Tell Arvin, I- (he dies) [SCENE_BREAK] Arvin Clone interrogation room. AC is sitting. Sydney walks in. AC: I'm so happy to see you Sydney. Sydney: I have only one question to ask you. Where's the orchid? AC: Four years is a long time not to see someone you love. It appears you've done well. Sydney: Look, if you want to tell me where to find the orchid, I'll be happy to continue this farce, otherwise. . . AC: Are you sure that's what you want, Sydney? Think about it. There are so many things you could ask of me. Why not choose one that matters. Sydney: Such as? AC: The reengineering of the evolution of a species. Sydney: You found an application for one of Rambaldi's formulas. AC: Mm-hmm. Finally. I'm the first to admit that some of Rambaldi's quests occasionally degenerated into sheer folly, but not this one. Sydney: Go on. AC: The work we did- the work you do now- taking down bad guys, putting out fires- you're a beat cop. Not making a dent. You've got to go to the source. Human nature itself. Where we are headed. What will become of human beings. You want to change the world? You want to really deal with the vanquishing of evil and the ascendancy of good? Well, I'm your guy. Sydney: You're telling me you're one of the good guys? AC: Come work with me. Sydney: This work- would it involve genetics and bioengineering? AC: In part. A Vulgarian would use the word "mutate", but it has such negative connotations. Sydney: Mutate into what? AC: Ostensibly into a more evolved, less aggressive being- you know, cooperative, calmer. Sydney: Easier to control, like the bees at the monastery. You turned them into killers. AC: The bees were a test. I wanted to see if what goes down, could come up so to speak. Oh, come on Sydney, how many wars were there last century? And how many people died in those wars through genocide or political repression? We're disgusting, humans. Do we learn from grace or beauty or what we call God? Sydney: What were you gonna do about it? AC: Suppose one could administer a formula to the general population that would quietly alter our brain chemistry, exponentially expanding our capacity for qualities like empathy and harmonic coexistence. Sydney: This formula- how would you administer it? AC: Nothing could be more simple. (he places his glass of water in front of her) Do you have any idea how many additives are in our drinking water? Hallway outside APO. Sydney, Marshall, Nadia, Jack, Sloane, stand talking. Sloane: If I could undo what I did, I would. The truth is, through OMNIFAM, I introduced a combination of substances into water supplies throughout the world. It was my intent, based on Rambaldi's formulas, to create a more peaceful species. To breed the aggression out of the population. Just as the monks had done with their bees. Nadia: We don't have time for your rationalizations. Sloane: No- Marshall: Excuse me. I'm assuming that you failed, right? Sloane: Yes, I failed. Because I didn't have the orchid, I attempted to artificially manufacture its nectar. Sydney: Because your imposter already has the orchid, he doesn't need to acquire any of the other substances you mentioned. All he has to do is put the nectar into the water you contaminated. Nadia: You loaded the gun. Sloane: That's right. Sydney: How many people are we talking about? How many people drank the contaminated water? Sloane: Somewhere between 3 and 4 hundred million. Sydney: What? Jack: Assuming the imposter's organization is already harvesting the chemical from inside that orchid, I suggest we not waste time on accusations right now. Sydney: What are the options? Jack: Dixon and Vaughn are uplinking all of McCullough's files. There might be a lead in there. Divide it up. See what you can find. Nadia leaves. Followed by Marshall. Sydney: (to Jack) I'd like to talk to you. Jack's office. Sydney: I saw it on your face. You knew. You knew what he did and you ignored it. I want to know why. Jack: Sydney- Sydney: He's sick, dad, can't you see that? Jack: He was at the height of his obsession with Rambaldi, but he abandoned his scheme. Sydney: You still trust him. Jack: I trust that when he laid the seeds for this crisis, he thought he was doing something good, that he didn't see this as a trigger for global genocide. Sydney: So he's simply a delusional megalomaniac with benign intentions? Jack: What Sloane did cannot be undone. To alert the public would be worse than useless. It would create worldwide panic. We need that flower. Sydney: Which we could have recovered long ago which we could have recovered long ago and turned over to the DSR for safe-keeping, but we didn't because you sat on what you knew, which you just as guilty as he is. Jack: Yes, Marshall? Marshall: (he's standing in the doorway) I think I found something. Sloane's office. Nadia, Jack, Sydney, Marshall, Sloane. Marshall: Okay, from what I was able to get from McCullough's files, SD-6 performed detailed brain scans on Sloane. McCullough then recreated Sloane's brain digitally and then uploaded it to this guy. I mean, those files- they're ingrained deeply. Which leaves us very few options. Sloane: He'll never give us the location of the orchid as long as he still believes that he's me. Marshall: That's right, We'll have to shock it out of him- you know, split it off from his dual persona and then get his real personality to tell us where the orchid is. Nadia: Are we talking shock therapy? Marshall: No, not in the traditional sense. According to the research, reliving a painful memory or a tragic experience will literally shake his moorings, but has to be something really bad. It can't be , you know, like- "I'm sorry-". Sydney: Hypnotic regression. Take him back to a point in his past and- your past- and make him recall the memory. Marshall: Arvin Clone? He'll probably resist that. You would have to relive a painful memory. And then record it, using McCullough's technology, and then upload it to Sloane 2. You know, it's kinda like throwing a switch. One second he's Arvin Clone, and then shazam, he's himself again. Jack: What are the risks? Marshall: To the subject? I'm not sure. It'll either break him down or not. Sloane: What about to him? (looks at Sloane) Marshall: The thing is, I'm gonna need a little bit more time to run some tests before I synthesize, so- Sloane: No. We do it now. Jack: Fine. Where do we begin? Sloane: Jacquelyn. Jack: Who's Jacqueline? Sloane: Thirty years ago, I- Marshall: No! Don't. Sorry, sir, it's just- it's better if you experience it in the moment. Don't verbalize. Another room. Sloane is strapped to a chair. Marshall standing beside him. Marshall: Okay, now, this should help you feel nice and relaxed. Once you're semiconscious, the electrodes will administer small pulses to put you into a hypnotic state. Sloane: I'm going to need some help accessing Jacquelyn. Marshall: Right. Mr. Bristow will speak to you through your ear bugs. He'll administer certain verbal cues which should bring your mind into the right place. Sloane: I see. (obviously, not looking forward to this) Marshall: Okay. Good luck. Nadia stands in the doorway staring at Sloane as Marshall leaves the room. She waits and then follows Marshall. Outside the room Sloane is in. Marshall, Sydney, Jack, Nadia. Marshall: Okay, we are ready to record his experience. You're on. Jack: Arvin, I'm going to count back from ten to one. When I get to one, you'll be in a place where you can tell me about Jacquelyn. 10. . .9. . .8. . .(Sloane jolts) Sydney: What was that? Marshall: He's fighting it. He doesn't want to go back to Jacquelyn. Keep going. Jack: 7. . .6. . .5. . .4. . .3. . .2. . . 1. VISION Sloane is outside in a garden, walking. Emily is sitting on a bench. He sits next to her. Sloane: I thought we could take the boat before it gets too cold. Perhaps have lunch in Bellagio, hmm? What do you think? Emily: I like just being here. You can see the wind in the trees. Maybe you should go. Sloane: No, no. No, we can sit here for as long as you like. For as long as you need. And I promise you we will get past Jacquelyn. Emily: I don't want to hear that name. You can't say it, Arvin. Hurts too much. Will you promise me that? You won't speak her name again? REALTIME Sloane: Never say. . .her name. VISION Sloane: Let me in, Emily. Please. Emily: I'm alone in this, Arvin. Right now, I am alone. Sloane: No. REALTIME Sloaen: Jacquelyn. Sydney: Jacquelyn. Could she have been a mistress? Sloane: Please. Marshall: Wait a minute. Look at this. Nadia: Is he okay? Marshall: I don't know. Jack: Arvin, we're not quite there yet. VISION Sloane is walking and Jack shows up. Jack: You need to go back. Who is Jacquelyn, Arvin? Go back to when you met her. Sloane turns around and goes back. Emily is gardening. Sloane: You're supposed to be doing exactly nothing. And that means not gardening. Emily turns around and we can see her pregnant belly. Emily: It's the nesting instinct. I can't help it. REALTIME Sloane: Emily. Please. . . VISION Sloane is walking Emily to a bench. Emily: Please, no more funny names of Italian villages. (laughing, they sit at a bench) We can't have a daughter named Carlotta, Tabanabia, or Fabina. Sloane: (hands Emily a glass of tea?) Fabina. That name is perfect. (they kiss) How about Jacquelyn? Hmm? Emily: Jacquelyn. (she smiles) Yeah. REALTIME Sloane: Do you like it? (he smiles, and laughs) Baby Jacquelyn. Jacquelyn. I like that. Nadia gets up and watches Sloane. Sydney: Baby Jacquelyn. Dad, did you have any idea? Marshall: Sloane's numbers are wild. His beta brainwaves are cycling at 14 per second, and he's releasing massive amounts of glycine onto the motoneurons. Nadia: We have to bring him out. Jack: Do we have enough? Enough to confront the imposter? Marshall: No, not yet. Jack: Arivin. . .keep going. What happened to Jacquelyn? VISION Hospital room. Emily lies on a bed. Emily: How is she? Sloane takes her hand and shakes his head. Emily: (starts crying) No. No, no. . . please, Arvin. It's a mistake. Please, no. REALTIME Sloane starts crying. VISION Sloane: Listen to me. This was a risky pregnancy. And she fought. She tried so hard to stay with us. It was too much. Her heart couldn't- Emily: (continues crying) No, no. . .My baby! Sloane: Emily. . .I love you. I love you so. (he leans down and kisses her cheek) I love you. I love you Emily. REALTIME Sloane: (crying) My baby. VISION Emily and Sloane continue to cry. REALTIME Sloane: (continues to cry) Oh, oh my baby. . .I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. No. Marshall: Guys, that's it. We have enough to break down the imposter. Jack. Come with me, Marshall. Bring Slone out. Arvin Clone strapped to his own chair much like the real Sloane. Sydney looks on. AC: Jack, please. Are we really wasting our time with this? After all, it was you who taught me to endure torture. It was your training that enabled me to get through McKenas Cole and the needles of fire. Jack: Listen to me, you pathetic freak. (takes away AC's glasses) Even if what you're saying was true, you can be sure that I kept a few things to myself. Jack goes to a computer and does stuff. AC starts shaking. Images from Sloane's flashbacks flash across the screen. Jack: Tell us your name. AC: My name- Ned Bolger. Corporal. US army. Serial number 112762. Sydney: Where's the orchid? AC: Who are you? Sydney: Corporal, where's the flower? AC: At a warehouse. Ugano, Switzerland. 43 Paseo Mantello. Sydney and Jack run up to him. AC: Damn you, Jack! I always knew you were a traitor, and you'd turn me in. Sydney, please, don't let him do this. (Jack and Sydney watched with shocked faces, speechless) I'm Ned Bolger. (twitch) I'm from Torch Lake, Michigan. You can't torture POWs. Geneva Convention. Who a- who am- who am I? Who are you? Who- who are you? Nadia walks in. Nadia: There's a problem. Marshall: It's Sloane. He's not coming back. I'm trying to bring him out of it, but he's fighting it. I mean he's supposed to be waking up. Nadia looks devastated. VISION Sloane is standing looking out at the sunset. Emily walks up beside him, holding Jacqueline. Emily: Honey. Is everything okay? Sloane: (he puts him arm around Emily's shoulders) Yeah. Everything is wonderful. REALTIME Marshall: Take a look right here. (looks at computer) You see that spike right there? That's his serotonin release. You know, like a pleasure center. It mirrors the exact reaction he had at the time of Emily's pregnancy. He's there right now. He's stuck there. He's kinda in that state. Nadia: Can we just wake him up? Jack: You saw what happened to Bolger. The shock could kill him. Marshall: Right. Think of it in computer terms. You can't just force-quit. You have to reboot his brain. Sydney: How? Marshall: Beats me. Nadia: What is one of us tried to guide him back? The way that Jack was able to prompt some of my father's memories by talking to him. Marshall: Well, it could work. But it could also kill him. You know, serotonin overload. I mean he could die of happiness- literally. Jack: You have a better idea? Marshall: No. Jack: Let's get started. Marshall: (to Nadia) Okay, he can hear you now. Nadia: Hi, dad. Sydney: Keep going. Nadia: Dad, it's me. Nadia, your daughter. VISION Sloane and Emily are playing with Jacqueline. They are sitting on the bench. Emily: You know that nice lady in the little store in town, Angelina? Sloane: Uh-huh. Emily: She told me she didn't approve of the way I was dressing Jacqueline. Nadia: (appears as of out of thin air) Dad? Emily: Who's that? Sloane: She's a very lovely girl. She's my. . .she's my Nadia. Nadia: You can't stay here, dad. I'm sorry. Sloane: I'm happy here. Nadia: You may be but your work isn't done. Sloane: What a beautiful girl you are. How proud you make me. But I can't come with you. The terrible things I've done. Nadia: That's why you have to. Sloane: Why don't you stay here with us? REALTIME Sloane: Stay here with us. Nadia. . .Stay with us darling. VISION Nadia and Sloane are standing. Sloane: We're family. Nadia: Emily and Jacqueline are gone, and you have to let them go. Sloane: I will never let them go again. No. Nadia: They're already gone. Sloane turns around and sees the bench where Emily was sitting, empty. Sloane: What did you do? I was a good man once. Now I'm a monster. And monsters cannot be allowed in this world. Nadia: Yes, you were once a good man. I believe it. And you can be again. But you have to undo what you've set in motion. You have not earned the right to rest. Sloane: I'm tired, Nadia. I am tired, and I am ashamed. Nadia: Then there's hope. Come back and redeem yourself. Sloane turns around and a door opens. Emily is standing in the door way holding Jacqueline. Sloane: It's so beautiful here. Nadia: But it's not real. Be brave. Come back with me. Show me who you are deep down. I believe in you. (Sloane shakes his head) Please, do not betray that belief. Do not betray again. Sloane: (smiles) Goodbye. Nadia: No, don't go. Dad- REALTIME Sloane: Uhh. . .Dad. Nadia goes in the room. She runs to Sloane and gives him a hug. Sydney walks in and stands in the doorway. Sloane is standing with Jack outside Bolger's room. Sloane: The first time I heard the name Rambaldi, I was working with the Army Corps of Engineers. It meant nothing to me- his life, his works. It was a simple curiosity. Something I quickly set aside. And then we lost Jacquelyn. . .When Emily lost the baby. . .I felt utterly abandoned. One night I came across some of his writings that I had stored in a drawer. And somehow. . .it filled the hole in my heart. Oddly, it wasn't until I saw him that I realized how much of myself I had lost. I am going to rectify this, Jack. I will clean up this mess that I have made. Jack: I'd like to believe that, Arvin. Sloane: But you can't. Jack: I've heard it before. Sloane: Yeah. Well, Jack, all I can say is I'm trying. And every day it's a struggle. Every day.

Plan: A: Arvin Clone; Q: Who raids a monastery for a Rambaldi orchid? A: an anti-aggression drug; Q: What can Arvin Clone make from the Rambaldi orchid? A: his power source; Q: What is the Mueller Device? A: Sloane's memories; Q: What does Arvin Clone display in CIA custody? A: an SD-6 Psych-ops specialist's experiment; Q: What is Arvin Clone the product of? A: world water supplies; Q: What did Sloane contaminate when he was with OmniFam? A: hundreds of millions; Q: How many people can the "clone's" employer render passive? A: The team; Q: Who decides to break the imposter by imprinting him with Sloan's most painful memory? A: his Rambaldi obsession; Q: What is the name of the obsession that Sloane has? A: Emily; Q: What was the name of Sloane's wife? A: Jacquelyn; Q: What was the name of Sloane's baby? A: Arvin Sloane; Q: Who must decide whether to return to Nadia and repair the damage he has done to the world or live in a dream? Summary: "Arvin Clone" raids a monastery for a Rambaldi orchid from which an anti-aggression drug can be made, one which his power source, the Mueller Device, can reverse. In CIA custody he displays Sloane's memories. He is the product of an SD-6 Psych-ops specialist's experiment. Sloane contaminated world water supplies when he was with OmniFam, and with the orchid, the "clone's" employer can render hundreds of millions passive, finishing what Sloane failed to do. The team decides to break the imposter by imprinting him with Sloan's most painful memory-the very thing that sparked his Rambaldi obsession. Sloane re-visits in his memory his dead wife, Emily, and the time when his baby, Jacquelyn, died. Arvin Sloane must decide whether to return to Nadia and repair the damage he has done to the world or live in a dream.