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Is it normal for my butt to tingle when i am aroused

r/TopsAndBottoms

kvkaqx

Totally normal. My ass will tingle when I just want cock. It will feel like I’m in heat. I will actually feel my ass tingle more than my cock and I love that feeling as it taps into my sub bottom psyche.

Completely normal. That's just your nerves anticipating what you know you want.

Without a doubt!

I've been talking to a guy with a beautiful cock and seeing it and thinking about it makes my hole twitch.

Meth or coke will do that to me. Makes my ass tingle an needy for anal.

Is it normal to be attracted to the same kind of guy who used to bully you?

r/TopsAndBottoms

jtix5y

I'm a Dom top, and super into the psychology of kink, and have found any bullied kids to fall into two categories: * They *despise* the bullies still, to the point where I've had a guy stop messaging me because he was like "Sorry, you look way too much like my high-school bully" * They hate it, but they do find themselves drawn to it. There's sometimes a few reasons for this: submissive and drawn to that feeling of being humiliated, or perhaps their bully was sexually aggressive during a very formative time. It's like the watered down version of rape victims who seek out dangerous situations/partners, in order to either relive, or reclaim, the experience.

Gay men often eroticize their oppressors. It’s why frat boys and military guys and police and construction workers are such big parts of the canon of gay jerk-off subjects.

In some ways, yes, I think I am attracted to the kind of rough guys that were a terror for me at school. I am always attracted to guys who are stronger than me and I like them hairy (which no kid at school was going to be). I really get off on being overpowered.

No fucking way. There's a distinct difference between confident/dominant, and just being a bullying, abusive arsehole.

I hate those kind of guys.

Is Anal mucous/discharge during anal normal?

r/TopsAndBottoms

dvw7wg

It is normal for how you frame it. Now I would say after 48 hours of non anal sex it’s still happening then go see a doctor.

That discharge is from a gland near the anus and is intended to lubricate stool so it comes out normal. Maybe you just have a high production or are sensitive to having some forced out.

Hey do you know what the reason was ?

Is it normal to pee while getting fucked?

r/TopsAndBottoms

jtiwgs

I've looked this up and it sounds like its prostatic fluid. The same thing happens to me. I can pee and get fucked immediately after and will be spraying buckets within 5 minutes. It's pretty great

I’ve had guys pee themselves after pounding them into another dimension and yes it’s hot while it’s happening but afterward I’m just like ew get the fuck off of me bro and clean up.

Sounds hot as fuck. If he isn't into it a bunch of other people are.

It only happens to me if I've already "conventionally" cum 2x or more already. My BF is into it, because he gets off on knowing that he's fucked me to the point of me "squirting". It really gets him going if I "beg" him to stop so I don't pee, but he keeps going (all consensual). We aren't otherwise into "water-sports", but the aspects of control and domination in this case is what excites us, him especially.

It might not have been urine. But even if it was it just happens sometimes. Its not unheard of. If the dude is grossed out by it, don't see him again. Sex is intimate, don't let anyone make you feel ashamed or embarrassed about any of it. Plenty of guys understand and would be okay with it in the future. Hell a lot would fucking love it.

Is it normal to bleed a little every time I use a particular dildo?

r/TopsAndBottoms

hdp38p

Not normal or safe, no, especially if this isn't the first time. People often ignore this but it causes scarring and can do worse, even lead to some nasty illnesses. Would strongly suggest you keep an eye on your diet (not too much heavy fat and acid, plenty of fibre) and also use much more lube. Much more; it should feel as if it is too much. Also may need to work your way up to the one you use now with smaller toys and ensure you hydrate well. If all of that doesn't help, you may need to be checked for old injuries or some other cause. Never take rectal bleeding lightly. Stay safe, dude x

Not normal. Along with the other advice (lube and working up to the size of your toy by using smaller toys first), also check your toy(s) for damage. A small cut/nick, rough spot or tiny fleck of lifted material could be a cause. Damage can be caused from using cleaning products that are too harsh on the material used to make the toy or incorrect storage. Also rinse your toy before use to get rid of any debris that may collect on it while stored (think fluff, hair, dust, etc). While not essential, it is just an extra precaution you can take. If it continues you may need to find a new toy or make a visit to a doctor to discuss.

Not normal. I have had this problem in the past. Either use way more lube and be nicer to yourself, or don't use that one.

Dildos are not supposed to be unyielding.... Your rectum has twists and turns, so the dildo needs to be able to bend to follow then around. While a little blood can be normal, I think this is caused by the dildo being inflexible, so you need an other.

Bleeding and pain is never normal. If you’re bleeding, you already have either inflamed hemorrhoids or fissure type tearing. While hemorrhoids may shrink on their own or with preparation H, improperly healed fissure causes skin tags that leads to chronic pain or retreating every-time you stretch your anus during sex or from a large poop. If you have this happening more than a month, it’s time to see a colorectal surgeon.

Is it normal to fart a lot the day after I use dildo?

r/TopsAndBottoms

fm0zzw

yes, you're thrusting air into your rectum where it doesn't belong. It's the same reason women queef

Anal sex kind of gives you a different perspective on flatulence. I personally have an asmr to sex sounds and I think if you're practically cleaned out you can have allot of fun with it. I love the sound of my ass being plunged of air by a big dick.

Yes your ass is going to fart even with a real dick pounding you

Is it normal to be super horny for weeks at a time?

r/TopsAndBottoms

di7ap8

How to fix? Masturbate or have sex. I always seem to go in cycles in terms of libido, sometimes 3 weeks of it happens, sometimes more, and I do masturbate regularly.

Have sex. Your body needs the full body release that comes with another person. Masturbation on activates your cock and your body wants the Oxytocin you are depriving it.

I would say masterbating or fucking someone is the best way. Since you dont like the former I suggest fucking.

I don't know but when I'm depressed I get extremely horny. I just want to fuck anything. I guess it's cos I'm not getting irl action either so the horniness just increases

Is it normal to ride a dildo with a full bladder?

r/TopsAndBottoms

e4li94

No, but I like binding some of my bois, fill them with an enema and then fucking them full. It feels neat and they whine and moan but after I cum the relief they get is immense while they clean my cock.

I sometimes jack off with a full bladder. Feels intense. Once edged for ages while having a full bladder, kept having little very pleasure able mini orgasms where a bit of pee would come out. Felt so good when I finally let myself cum.

I can imagine how nice that would feel!

I’d be into it... with the real thing instead of a dildo. 😏

Haven't done that before but sounds fun.

Is it normal to be a 6'2 bottom?

r/TopsAndBottoms

2bbivy

I'm 6'5" and about 80% bottom...I haven't had any trouble with it, and a lot of shorter guys I've been with thought it was really fucking hot to fuck a guy so much taller than them. The only problem is that I have this fantasy about being totally dominated by a guy much taller and bigger than me - huge muscles, just a physical giant compared to me. But, since I'm so tall, I doubt I'll ever find a guy who fills that criteria. Oh well, getting fucked by a guy any size is still pretty awesome.

I'm 6'6" and about 99% bottom. When someone says I'm too tall to be a bottom I just laugh and move on. I have zero interest in interacting with that person further really if they're that set in their ways.

I am 6'2'' bottom. I have tons of top guys itching to get in my rear. You can be 6'2'' and still he hot as fuck to tops.

Nah, I've fucked tall bottoms. I think it's all about attitude. For me, the biggest turn on in a bottom is eagerness to take cock. Height don't matter

I'm 6'2 and a total bottom

Is it normal to like watching straight people fuck?

r/TopsAndBottoms

i2dldi

Porn is weird. People enjoy the thought of being eaten. So seriously dont look too hard into it. If the thought of having sex with a woman yourself isnt arousing, you arent bisexual. Maybe you are into cuckolding or just find watching others having sex irl exciting.

I have the same! With surprisingly similar types of straight porn- I love cuck and creampie porns. It’s hot watching the guys go to town, and I can sortof envision myself in the scenarios. As a note, I’m really 100% gay and 100% bottom.

I just like watching people fuck

Honestly if you’re not aroused by the woman in the porn that you are viewing and have no desire to be with said woman, you probably aren’t bisexual at all. I think what turns you on is the fact what the male is getting pleasure if that makes sense? Him getting off gets you off because you’re focusing on his pleasure rather than the woman’s pleasure.

>Hopefully, I'm not bisexual. What? It's lovely.

Is it normal to be 19 and hook up with a 51 year old?

r/TopsAndBottoms

iowj65

It's very common for a gay couple to have a 10 or 20 year age gap. If you're 19, 20 years would be 38, so he's 13 years older than it would be normal for you to *date*. That said, you're not talking about dating, you're talking about *having sex*. When I was your age I had sex with an older man I was hot for, and only afterward did he tell me he was 78. I really didn't care, it was sex. I wasn't planning on keeping him. So, go for it, and it's none of your friends' business.

Go for it. But stay vigilant because sometimes much older guys will try to coerce young guys by taking advantage of their inexperience. (Even if you don’t think of yourself as being inexperience, by definition from the simple fact of being 19, you are.) If he starts saying things like “I know/promise I’m clean,” “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before,” “I’ve don’t usually do this but...” those should be flashing warning signs.

I was that guy. Until I was 23 I never hooked up with anyone my age. It was pretty good sex.

Bit of a fantasy to be taken by a much older guy

/r/GayYoungOld

Is the idea that there are way more bottoms than tops a myth or true?

r/TopsAndBottoms

ljwdws

A lot of guys are just vers and don’t want to admit to liking the dick. I can’t tell you *how* many guys beg me to top them, even though all my profiles and my interactions tell them that I’m 1000% bottom.

I think it's a myth for the most part. Someone posted a study here or on one of the other gay sex subreddits that showed top and bottom were fairly balanced. It was like 30%'ish were bottoms, 25%'ish were tops, and the majority were versatile at least on occasion. I'm sure some areas may seem balanced one way or another overall. Bi men may also cause it to be a bit off balance as many only want to bottom with men since they can top with women. In my personal experience there is no real imbalance. When I was solely a top it seemed everyone I talked to or met were tops. When I became more amenable to bottoming some, it seemed everyone was a bottom. There tends to be a lot of confirmation bias in things like this.

I think it's regional. Though bottom shame is legit, and I've met some tops who're nice people, but suffering from deep sexual repression.

Myth. The numbers are probably pretty even. Maybe more tops than bottoms, actually, considering the prevalence of internalized homophobia that views bottoming as “really *really* gay” and topping as “‘no homo’,“ so a lot of ‘straight’ guys don’t wanna bottom. Some of us gays perpetuate the myth too, whenever we complain about a hookup with a vers guy who’d planned on topping us, but couldn’t get it up bc we weren’t actually his type, just a desperate Grindr hookup, so we topped him instead, and then typed out a bitchy rant on Twitter or Reddit or wherever about how “vers top = bottom” and everybody retweets or upvotes because it’s practically a meme now. But it isn’t accurate.

Myth. Anyone who says that there aren’t enough tops really means “there aren’t enough tops who are into me”

Is it normal to feel pressure to be a top?

r/TopsAndBottoms

kjuvaj

I have that problem, I was dating the perfect bottom, this amazing guy, but because he was straight before me and never had any relationship with a guy we broke up 💔

I completely understand what you are going through. Society has ridiculously high expectations for men. It is only acceptable if a Man takes charge, sleeps with women and abhors homosexuality. That thought has been ingrained in our minds through one way or the other. When I first discovered all these things, I felt guilty after nutting to gay or sissy porn. I somehow got influenced (through both life and porn) to think less of myself. I was and still am conscious about not being muscular enough or not having a huge cock. Men like us need to be confident in our own skin. We need to accept our flaws. We need to feel that's it's okay if you fantasize about the same sex. It is okay to like both Men and Women.

I think you can't rationalize these things. I tried to do this as well, or better said I was encouraged to think in this way (Am I attracted to other guys because I want to be like them?). It was disastrous. There is no logic behind sexuality ... Being gay or straight is biological, so it's not something that can be changed. It's part of who you are. I think it's the same with top vs bottom vs vers, at least it seems so to me. That being said, you're right, there is some pressure even within the gay community against total bottoms. You can be top, that's fine, or vers, that's also ok because you're flexible. It's a societal thing. In more traditional cultures, the top is not even considered gay...

Hey dude, you're not alone, your post describes the way I have felt, and feel now. I, like you, am a traditional tall "masculine-looking" guy, but I'm not packing much in the penis department. I used to think my dick wasn't big enough for anyone to enjoy, but experience has shown me that isn't true. At first I thought I was pigeonholing myself, but in a way I was also using my small dick as an excuse make myself feel okay about bottoming.

It's the ultimate closet. Is the most un-straight thing

Is performance anxiety normal?

r/TopsAndBottoms

jb6fhh

Sounds like mostly an anxiety issue. Trust me, buddy, it’s happened to all of us from time to time. Maybe try hosting them instead so you’re in a more comfortable location. One less thing to worry about. Like you said, some added foreplay could get you in the right mood. Grindr hookups/casual sex can be an anxious experience in and of itself and if you’re already have anxiety then... well you already know what can happen. But don’t feel down man! A few things that can help: lay off porn and jacking off, work out/get in better shape which helps blood flow. If those don’t work then you could get a low mg dose of bluechew/viagra to help out downstairs. I’ve had some anxiety incidents in recent years and I’m in my 30’s now... so I recently got a prescription and it’s really made my little buddy step up to the plate for hole plowing 😉

One trick to dealing with anxiety in these situations is don't do hookups that are cum and go. Find guys who want to chat a bit first and take it easy. You'll be much more relaxed about the situation and maybe feel more comfortable.

Oh the possible factors you listed totally make sense, it sounds like the most comfortable place for you to do the deed is in a bed and that’s okay. Idk how cruising is for you, but your problem is a very common one trust me. It just takes acknowledging when and where you’re actually most comfortable doing it so you can work that into your life. It’s not just tops it can be bottoms too like how much they can open up so don’t worry you’re not alone :)

This sounds like anxiety to me. If you can jerk off ok, then you’re probably fine. But don’t get medical advice from the internet. If you’re worried talked to a doctor. About the anxiety: lots of men get more anxious not less as they have sex with more hookups because they start to anticipate it going badly, making themselves vulnerable to strangers and not connecting. It can be emotionally painful and scarring. Maybe wait to connect before you have sex. That might be what your body is telling you.

This sounds like textbook anxiety, nothing more than that. It may be that hookups like this aren't for you. Try to find someone that isn't wanting to meet up in some random place with no foreplay. It's okay to slow down and take the time to enjoy it. There are a lot of guys who can't get into what you're doing, that isn't at all unusual.

Is it normal for bottoming to hurt?

r/TopsAndBottoms

fsct6d

Bottoming isnt uncomfortable when you are practiced, and doesnt hurt. If someone is really big and doesnt take the time, or if you are anxious, then it hurts a bit. It happens to everyone where theres pain at some point, but its not common per encounter. The whole "I cant walk" thing isnt because of pain, it's because you are shaky from being plowed the right way for 15 minutes. And yes it can happen a lot. Cumming a little bit untouched is common, but a full blown orgasm is definitely not common.

I've always thought tops get the better end of the deal pleasure-wise. When I'm getting fucked (which is rarely, so maybe I just don't "get enough practice"), it's uncomfortable, and I'm usually focused on making sure the top is feeling good, so I'm usually not touching myself and/or getting in the way. But I love the psychological pleasure of getting fucked, so I'm not complaining! I'd just love to feel physical pleasure at the same time my partner is. There's only been once that I've stroked myself while getting fucked, and we both came at the same time--which was nice. (Yeah, I just need to remember to stroke myself! 🙄😅)

[deleted]

It’s a butthole - of course it’s gonna hurt if you’re out of practice especially if you can’t *relax*. This where the top has to step in get that hole to simmer down usually with their mouth... For me, it was mainly pain afterwards with going number two - not so much walking and sitting in and of itself.

slow at first, a lot of lube and not hammering sex and you shouldn't feel any pain. No lube will always hurt, too fast too quick is searing pain, no lube and sliding all the way in would make you cry

Is it normal to be a submissive top? How do I find dominant bottoms?

r/TopsAndBottoms

k3oz1d

i’m a dom bottom, most tops like to dominate and i don’t find that appealing, relinquishing control isn’t something i’m good at. i’m 166cm somewhat of a twink and i love dominating huge submissive tops.

I am versatile but in my relationship, I am the bottom my partner is 100% top but I am 100% the dominant one. As a Puerto Rican, I am passionate and like to take charge. You will find someone trusts me. Maybe when I can go to San Fran I may say Hi! Lol.

I’m a dom bottom! We exist. If you’re looking for specific outlets to discover dom bottoms, FetLife is a good one. Just be open and honest about what you want from partners. I’d say that it’s safe to wager that a lot of “sub bottoms” are actually just sub because they assume they should be. That’s what it was like for me at least. I didn’t realize that i could actually be a dom bottom until my partner said he wanted to be tied up and used as a dildo. Now it’s my favorite role to play. Sorry if that wasn’t much help, feel free to message me if you have questions! Just advertising yourself on your profiles as a Sub Top or as a living flesh dildo might get you some attention. Best luck!

Can you describe how you'd imagine a scenario unfolding? I'm fairly inexperienced and wonder whether I would mind something like this!

FetLife is probably another good source that you could check out. While the gay communities are smaller on there compared to straight there's still plenty of groups, you might find your power bottom dom there 😘

Bottoms - when do you douche?

r/TopsAndBottoms

kd0ovk

So I'd almost look at it from multiple steps. 1) increase fibre intake daily, I use Metamucil almost daily and have increased my leafy greens so I am feeling cleaner overall. 2) if you are horny and are generally feeling like you're going to be up for sex, consider a prep douche during the day, that way you are almost 100% clean and you'd only need a quick maintenance douche when the time comes 3) Find better tops, if someone is upset cause they need 30-40 min then they need to get the fuck out.

I may sound boring, but I am up for anal sex only if I can have shower right before. So if there is no chance to do that, I am not up for it usually. Exception - when I am drunk or wasted + horny as hell. I just want to feel clean during the intercourse and having ideas that it looks awful down there from his perspective is a big turn off for me, because you know, sometimes tops can be just... polite and not say it to you. I am just the type of the guy, who loves meat and avoids from vegetables and fibers as much as possible so yeah.

I've always done it once the conversation looks like it's trending to wanting to meet up. I figure if I'm horny enough to look on Grindr for a hookup, I'm definitely horny enough to use a toy, so if all else fails I'm clean for some personal time.

I honestly try to do it as close as possible to the meetup as I can (usually right before they come or I leave), and I don’t feel bad if they give me shit for it because that’s exactly what they’re gonna end up with if I don’t take my time LOL. I think the better tops understand how important it is to be as delicate and thorough as possible with douching, and to give us the time to do so.

Find men who respect you. If they get annoyed because you need 40 minutes tonget ready they need to gtfo.

Best fiber supplement to get clean?

r/TopsAndBottoms

iwfpxz

I have mild IBS. I take a scant tablespoon of psyllium husk every day with my vitamins and meds. It works great! Just drink lots of water with it...

If you can manage it, I think taking the actual fiber outside of pills is best. The reason is that if you look at the amount of the pills needed, you have to take 4-6 of them per day to get the proper amounts. Some recommend even more. Suddenly those name brand pills get very expensive. A tablespoon or two of the powder mixed with water, juice, or even worked into some of your food during the day is much easier and more cost effective.

I take a couple of these psyllium husk capsules as a supplement most days https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001TH7K0G/ I douched a couple days ago and was happy that I came out basically clean first round. Sometimes I’ll really mess my stomach up (e.g. about a week ago I drunk beer and shots with a friend going through a break up and was really gassy and bloated for a couple days after) and find that a probiotic can help in cases like that too.

There is always gonna be a need to douche sometimes

Organic psyllium husk powder or capsule. The best!

What fiber pills to use for bottoming?

r/TopsAndBottoms

krusgu

I started with Pure for Men and it worked well. I then switched to generic pysllium husk pills and it worked exactly the same. I think Pure for Men tries to distinguish itself by saying its pills contain a mixture of fiber sources but really, all you need is any source of pysllium husk and a fairly clean diet. Currently, I dont even use pills. I switched to buying pysllium husk powder in bulk and mixing it into my oatmeal in the morning. Still works the same.

I use psyllium husk capsules and they tend to work pretty good

Metamucil works better than fiber pills

I dont have the best diet, but I do have a bidet. I can go from zero to buttsex in less than 5 minutes

Kirkland psyllium husk for me, that and a diet with lots of greens and keep hydrated.

Is it healthy to douche or not?

r/TopsAndBottoms

l019mu

As with all things, it's not an either or. ***How*** to do it safely is what's important.

Its better to douche with normal saline because it's isotonic - so it wont affect the balance of electrolytes and stuff in your butt https://www.sfaf.org/collections/beta/anal-douching-safety-tips Written by a qualified health researcher at least with instructions on how to make normal saline Also look into stuff by Evan Goldstein who is a gay proctologist and basically the only doctor I can find who talks at length about this kind of issue. he is on lots of podcasts and has a lot of articles as well. He sells a saline (i'm pretty sure) douche product - which you don't have to buy, but the product information gives some indication on how much fluid you should be using ETC.

Rectum, go mad every day. It is literally a bag and it's healthy for it to be empty. Higher, the jury is out but it is healthy for your gut to be full. It's entirely possible routine high douching will disturb your gut flora.

It's better to not. Sure it's not horrible if you do it in moderation just like anything else, but it's better to maintain a healthy diet. Fiber supplements can help a lot too. You'll probably fine if you're not overdoing it

How do I clean out for a gang bang?

r/TopsAndBottoms

epf9fh

Pretty sure this same question was posted recently. You may be able to find it

Read "How to Bottom Like a Porn Star"

It is a dream for me to be the only bottom in a gang bang and continuously being hopelessly pounded!!

What's your process for cleaning out the rectum?

r/TopsAndBottoms

2lu8p6

[deleted]

I have problems with this because I have only found one sure fire way. What I do Is tiny bursts of water until it's clear. Ride my dildo in the shower (so you can wash off any mess from the dildo easily). Then quick bursts of water again. And finally use the dildo again (should be totally clean inside this time) if you're not clean just repeat.

Two words: shit happens. If a guy freaks out over a speck of poo, then they should know better than to ram things in buttholes.

I will spend a few hours using warm salt water enemas until everything is out! Then hop in the shower and use a slim long dildo to draw anything else out, followed by a finger to make sure I am sqeaky clean in there. While in the shower I shave my ass smooth. I enjoy the whole process of preparing my ass for a nice pounding, being clean and smooth in anticipation of getting fucked gets me hot.

I've had a few bad experiences with this, both from myself and others. What happened with me is I douched about ~3 hours before sex and unfortunately there was a little poop around, then I tried doing it about ~30-45 minutes before and everything was still a little 'wet' so while I don't think there was actually anything flowing around it generally wasn't a pleasant experience. I seem to have found that the golden period, if you're douching, is about ~1-1.5 hours before sex. Maybe you could do it sooner or later and still be fine, but that works for me. Although if you're douching every time you have sex then that's going to get very old fast, it's unnecessary. The easiest way to get clean, in my opinion, is to go to the bathroom a few hours before you're going to be meeting a guy, then hop in the shower afterwards and make sure that you're as clean as possible back there. As disgusting as it might sound you may end up with a little poop on your hands/fingers in the process, but it's better than all over some guy's dick/finger/mouth.

Sorry this might be tmi but how do I douche properly?

r/TopsAndBottoms

t0iu55

I’ve been with my partner 9 months now and we fuck like rabbits. In all those times I’ve douched the water has only come out clear 3 times yet I’ve only been not totally clean twice. So don’t be overwhelmingly worried about perfectly clear water. It sounds like you might be struggling to get all the water out? Or excess? What I’ve always done is use a dildo after douching or in between douches. It opens you up and creates a vacuum that will pull out anything that doesn’t want to come out “naturally.” Other than that, I mean, as everyone in this community says so often. Anal sex is dirty. It takes time getting comfortable with that, I know I’ve still got work to do, and whoever tops you should already know that too. It’s life. Best of luck.

Get a TV or laptop and put some Netflix on in the bathroom to pass the time 😉 But in all seriousness, I have the same problem. I eat lots of veggies (plant based diet) and often drink a glass of water with almost a tablespoon of psyllium husks. My poops are rarely solid. Douching is a chore and I know what you mean about the pain. The water, specially cold, makes my tummy upset and forced more bowl movements to happen. I suggest using body-temp water.

so most guys here seem to be against not eating before sex but if i know imma be fucking ill usually hold off on eating anything that could mess with my bowel movements in a bad way 12 hours or so before i wanna be ready. usually if i eat ill make sure its small and that its something high in fibre and wont cause messy poop. if i do this then my douching process is as simple as pooping then following it up with a safety check with a little bit of warm water and then i shower n im good.

Best resource online is this [comic](https://howtocleanyourass.wordpress.com/). Have fun.

I've gone through the whole gamut while learning. The worst were the fleet enemas they sell, was never clean after those. The best was the shower attachment. Combined with diet (I try to fast 8 hours or so before), they get me pretty clean. There's no way you should be spending two hours in the shower though. And as someone else said here, anal is dirty, so a small amount should be expected. Porn isn't real.....

Are there tops who like bottoms that don't want to cum?

r/TopsAndBottoms

l4auyz

I’m totally fine with a bottom who doesn’t blow provides he’s verbal and reassured me he’s having a good time. I want lots of moaning and begging for my load.

find a top with a chastity fetish for his bottoms....voila, only assgasms for you

I love bottoms like you. Let me be a selfish top and I'll make up for it with cuddles, affection, and a bomb-ass relationship.

That's a whole lot of text for a very simple question. ^((The answer is Yes btw))

I don't have like a chastity fetish or something. I feel like a big part of being a good top is making sure your bottom has the best experience possible, which usually includes stimulating him right and getting him off (I like to do that before I cum). However, if a dude wanted to just be there for me to poke and do my thing, I'd be 100% down and into it.

Are there tops that prefer bottoms with small dicks?

r/TopsAndBottoms

dn59cm

i have a small dick. i dont need it cause i never use it

My last boy had such a little dick, like less than 4 inches. I found it super sexy. I don’t really care about dicks one way or another, but he would try to rub mine on his and he loved the comparison.

I’m 9” top and highly prefer guys w small dicks. I don’t pay attention to dick at all. They get in the way.

I'm bi and average size. When I'm feeling more gay mine shrink's way down.

I have a small dock, 5.5in when hard and thin. Just like the other guy said: I don’t mind cuz I don’t use it. But honestly when I turned into a teenager, when I started to cum and my pubes started to grow, I was confused why my dick wasn’t growing that much. I knew I was gay, I knew that sexually I was a bottom, but it was super upset because my dick didn’t grow like other guys I’ve seen. And that bothered me until my early 20s (I’m 27 now). Now I don’t actually give a shit.

Do tops prefer power bottoms or submissive bottoms?

r/TopsAndBottoms

lbbf78

As a vers guy: If I top, I usually like him to be more submissive but not a deadweight either; however, a power bottom can be so hot when you see him taking charge and knowing exactly what he wants. If I bottom, I love being more submissive and I totally get off on the idea of being a hairy, masculine, bearded guy getting used and fucked. It really does it for me.

Submissive and very feminine, I just don't really click with any other type of penis haver.

I like a little back and forth play with the power in sex. As the top and usually the bigger & taller guy, I’m most comfortable holding the power for much much longer than I surrender it. But if he wants to surprise me with something for a spell, baby I love surprises, show me what you got! As for fem–masc, I don’t have a strong preference, except the extreme ends of the spectrum. I mean I’m not attracted to lumberjacks and I won’t fuck a guy in a dress, but a close-cropped beard I can get into, and nail polish is hot and maybe even eye shadow is fine. Basically I like to be equally or more masculine than my bottom, and more powerful, and I don’t want to feel like we’re pretending he’s a girl.

Neither. Strong preference for masculine, though.

I'd like a submissive bottom but seems the guys I date are power bottoms. My partner can be demanding he really needs dick regularly or he becomes crabby.

Do any dom tops like taller subs?

r/TopsAndBottoms

epogan

Size difference (weight/height) is a huge turn on and in my case works both ways (shorter or taller). I've been practicing and getting into rope work / shibari and big, strong-looking guys look extra cute when they are all trussed up - and most of the time they underestimate the strength of hemp so watching them struggle is hot.

[deleted]

I am bottoming for the first time (finally) with a Daddy Top next week. I am 6'-5" and he is 5'-6". He was concerned about being shorter than I. I told him it was not an issue with me. Outside the bedroom I always maintain equality though some bottoms insist on being subservient at all times. Once the door closes, I throw the "switch" and I am in command. I plan on being a "good boy" because that is what my Top demands. I also told him the 90% of sex is in the mind and size does not matter. He agreed and I look forward to satisfying him next week.

One right here, all my subs have been taller, it's a fun size play honestly

yes. dom and sub is all about attitude... not height

Does anyone like to be called a "good boy" during sex?

r/TopsAndBottoms

37l9u8

Love being called boy when im top or btm, it just gets me going

This might be a better question for /r/gaykink ;)

Definitely has some dom/sub undertones, but to me it's a very mild touch of kink. But it can be fun and cute. And who doesn't like to have fun when they're fucking?

[deleted]

As a top I think it's hot to call my bottom "good boy." And it gets me hard as a rock when my bottom perks up to that comment

Does anyone let their pets watch while they have sex?

r/TopsAndBottoms

csy6ah

I'm in the bed having sex, the black lab walks in (not mine, dog sitting) so I just ignore her and keep going. Couple minutes later I pull out to shoot my load on his back and when it started spurting the dog's eye grew huge like 'wtf was that'? Never again.

There's a guy I've seen twice and his dogs have been in the room both times... I honestly didn't think anything of it till reading this post. I don't think it's a big deal personally.

Unless they try to jump in or get loud, most of my hookups let their cats/dogs watch. Which doesn't bother me. We are all animals. I did have an issue where I was fucking this guy and felt something brush my thigh. I looked down and his cat was perched next to me just staring and licking his master. My guy got annoyed, said, "I've had enough of you Fluffs!" And locked him in the bathroom. He apologized as the cat was pervving on us the whole time and begged, "Throw that dick back in me so I can make up for it" Other guys pets run off and do their own thing and might come back if they hear moans or their masters gasping but i don't expect them to lock their pets away always

I specifically request voyeuristic pets as a requirement on my Grindr profile. I just can’t cum without a gathering of animals watching from the sidelines. Lol Nah, that would be way too distracting, you’ve gotta keep your pets out of the room.

Nope, I love my cat but he is a judge mental little shit and he doesn’t like to share my attention, he gets kicked out even when I go solo.

What's the filthiest thing you've done for dick?

r/TopsAndBottoms

9onep5

I once face-fucked a guy until he puked. Pissed on a few guys. One time I was at work late on a Friday so I didn’t shower when I got home. Woke up the next morning and went right to the gym then met a fuckbuddy and made him lick and smell my ass, balls, and taint. Which isn’t super bad but it’s up there. Filthiest thing thing I saw in person was a dude made to drink cum out a dog dish while he was getting fucked. It was consensual, for anyone who’s concerned.

Side note, since piss keeps coming up, so many guys I've been with have been aghast at pissing down my throat -- then did it anyway. The second time, they were reluctant. By the third time, they were ready and demanding, and continue to remain so, whether I feel up to it or not. Creating monsters.... :-)

I hooked up with a guy once and it turned into a late one. During the nights events I’d sucked him and been throat fucked, I made him get rougher with me as I did and when he started fucking me he seemed to get the idea I was up for being a bit nasty. He took a cigarette break after cumming in me. He got up from the bed grabbed me by the dick and took me to the kitchen. He rolled a joint and made me bend over on the floor of his kitchen and with one hand finger myself rougher and harder as he made me wank. He got me to cum as I was fingering myself facing away from him, he got up just as I finished cumming and slapped my hand away and started fucking me on his kitchen floor. I got told to crawl back to his bed room and suck his dick clean. He sucked my dick again for a bit and then gave me a genuine rough fuck and dropped another load up my ass. He took some of the cum from my ass and rubbed it over my face and made me lick his fingers as he gave me a handjob and my cum was split between my ass and face. That was a fun night. He was a ridiculously hot slightly shorter guy, nice body and a proper nice 7” cock. It was great to see his face when he realised I was gonna be a dirty little bastard that would take what he’d give. The drive home I didn’t really know what was going on, I was on another world and my ass had that feeling for a good few hours later of I knew fine well it had took a pounding.

[deleted]

So so many things. Some standouts, not counting the more “normal” gangbang/group scenes: Getting throat fucked by a very hung, hairy neighbor; not my first or last throat fuck, but one of the most brutal. He slapped me around, called me names, and just raped my throat while my head hung over the edge of his bed. I had an empty stomach, but I still gagged up a ton of clear stomach fluid. He shot most of his load down my raw throat, but pulled out and sprayed a few ropes onto my already coated face. I walked home after, my face coated with throat slime and cum. I looked like I had dipped my face into a bucket of hair gel. The night I had two hung black dudes spit-roasting me, taking turns switching out their dicks between my holes. It was rough and deep. The first one bred my hole, then pulled out and had me suck him clean while the other guy took his turn filling my hole with his cum. About 20 minutes after they left, this closeted guy with a fat, very curved dick who would stop by whenever he was in town hit me up. He came over, made me gag on his dick, then slammed into my hole. He was a big fan of choking, slapping, and making me take it in all sorts of degrading positions. He also unloaded in me and left. My hole was sore and swollen afterwards, but I still let a bud of mine stop by and use my sloppy fuckhole (he was into that sort of thing). Hurt like hell, but still let him use me until he finished. Several times where I let a guy piss in my hole, and a couple times when I let someone piss down my throat. First time, dude didn’t even ask; just started pissing while I sucked. Laughed at my shocked face and told me he needed to pee before he could cum. I wasn’t into drinking piss, but he was hot and had a nice dick, so I just swallowed it. Then let him pump his cum down my throat.

Why do some Tops say they want someone else’s load in me before they top me?

r/TopsAndBottoms

lj3wtw

Cause it's fucking hot and good lube

It’s extra hot if the top sent over one of his buddies to put the first load in me. I’ve really been wanting to find a regular fuckbuddy who will completely own my ass and do this sort of thing to me on a regular basis.

It’s pure fantasy for most of them. I’ve straight up lied and told a few that I was already loaded just so they would fuck me.

I'm really thick and it's nice to have a guy who is already stretched out and and lubed up. For a lot of tops cumming into a guy has to do with a sense of ownership, and sharing a guy can feel super hot.

I had one lover who would come over before work, and then come back after work and fuck me again sometimes. On the occasions that it would happen, there was a dynamic about it that we both really enjoyed. He was more dominating and powerful, and I loved being his cumdump. We talked a lot about him bringing another guy over so he could watch me get fucked, but never got around to doing that.

Why do some tops think that it's OK to call bottoms 'girls'?

r/TopsAndBottoms

g1vpsq

>Why do some tops think that it's OK to call bottoms 'girls'? Gender Stereotypes. I've never had a top call me a 'girl' - probably because I'm pretty masculine looking and I would just shoot him a look 'that's it we're done'. I know some bottoms who love it and that's great, but it doesn't work for me, and I think most know it when we talk. I did have a regular top who would call me his 'bitch' - which, frankly, was really hot in context.

I totally agree ✌️

It’s a matter of preference in my opinion... those limits or likes/dislikes I always discuss in advance... many bottoms enjoy it and frankly it turns me on as a Dom top... I can turn it around and make the verbal all about “take it like a man” and it can be just as hot... bottom line (pun intended) discussing it in advance leads to more satisfying encounters...

My first top really was into this. It bothered me for a while but I never worked up the nerve to tell him. It's happened on and off since then too. I don't know what it is about it. If the top wants to fuck a girl go fuck a girl lol.

I think what you really hit on was checking in. I know a lot of boys who like to be referenced as girls when they're getting fucked.I know a few who absolutely hate it. All it takes is a few minutes before things get hot and heavy to check in, see what people are into, and go from there. Then everyone gets what they want. The first few times, while you're figuring out how to do it, like everything else you do for the first few times, may be a little awkward , but it takes only a few seconds and prevents some much more awkward stuff down the line. As to being referred to as a girl makes one "inferior" that's an entirely different conversation, and you might get some opposing ideas there too.

Do masculine tops reject masculine bottoms?

r/TopsAndBottoms

dwezd3

Gay at the bar: “You’re a bottom?! I would never have guessed. Such a shame. Why are all the hot dudes bottoms.” Girl at the bar: “You’re gay?! I would never have guessed. Such a shame. Why are all the hot dudes gay.” Yeah. That’s what it’s like.

It’s interesting, as a masculine bottom you always have two hurdles people have to clear. They have to figure out that you’re gay and figure out that you’re not a top. I say that because tons of people have told me wow I wouldn’t have guessed you were gay/a bottom. Lots of those people have also said they hesitated talking to me or flirting with me for those reasons. So sometimes it’s tough because some people won’t approach you because they assume one of the two things. That being said I feel like overall most people like a masculine guy so I’ve never had any issues once people realize I’m a gay bottom.

I’m vers with a strong penchant for bottoming. In my experience it doesn’t really matter either way. I think the only people I’ve run into that have a problem with it have been young immature other bottoms that think everyone has to fit into neat stereotypes. And frankly for a multitude of reasons I don’t give a damn what they think of me.

[deleted]

I like masculine bottoms, just not super beefy or too gym bro-ish, which is often what I attract. As a total top, I’m less concerned with fem masc and more about height. I like men under 5’5. I topped only guy who was as tall as me (6’0) and I couldn’t stay hard. I just wasn’t attracted to him because he was too tall.

Does anyone else want to be a super fem bottom or a super masculine top? Nothing else?

r/TopsAndBottoms

j4uca2

I’m similar, that’s the joy of being gay!

I feel that. When I bottom, I serve it up and want the guy to annihilate my hole. Make me scream. When I top, I like to choke (if they’re into it), spank, spit, and dominate.

Nothing wrong with being a switch! As long as you can make clear to whoever you're with what you're after, go for it! I haven't been on that side of things but I had an FWB who was similar - sometimes I dommed him, sometimes we shared a boy together, depending on what he was looking for.

I'm mostly a dominant top and was fantasizing about being a submissive slut bottom as well. But as I got more into bottoming I turned into a power bottom. I guess that's just my dominant nature 😆

I’m exactly like that. 90% sub bottom. 10% dom top. Here’s the problem for me though: i can’t be both with same person. Its either you fuck me senseless or I fuck you senseless. But there’s not readjusting or flipping of roles. Once is set, is set for good. I feel something is wrong about that. I wish I could be more vers and fluid.

Any tops actually turned on my a bottom guy with a limp dick?

r/TopsAndBottoms

3vn0uh

Anal sex often makes a bottom go soft. It's a different kind of stimulus. I'm totally okay with it. It sounds like a control thing with that guy. Not letting you think of anything else but his pleasure.

Yes, yes and yes. This will sound crude, but it turns me on to basically fuck a bottom guy who isn't concerned about his cock at all. Like if he never got hard and never wanted me to even touch his cock, I'd be totally fine with that. I like thinking that he is getting all of his sexual fulfillment out of me fucking his ass, and doesn't have to cum like I do (unless it is handless, anal orgasm. Which is hot as fuck). The whole dominant aspect turns me on, and I like to think that my boyfriends are essentially reduced to being passive girls to me in the bedroom.

Absolutely, a true bottom shouldn't be allowed to use his cock. A bottom's cock is unrelevant. I really don't like it when a bottom jerks off while I'm fucking him. He should only focus on his hole and learn to get pleasure from it only.

Yeah. Like, seriously. It's really seeing a guy's soft dick jumping around as he rides me. When a guy is such a bottom that his own dick is completely irrelevant, it really gets me going. But I'm a fairly dominance-oriented top, so your experiences may vary.

I never get hard…my little penis is totally irrelevant for sex.

Soft Dick Bottom: Hot or Not?

r/TopsAndBottoms

ehqmf6

Top here. Love when my bottoms are soft when getting fucked, it’s a nice contrast with my hard dick.

Bottom here who, not only does not get hard, I also actually shrink a bit when I'm horny

Love small, soft dicks on bottom boys!

Bottom here. Unless I’m jacking off while getting fucked, my dick will stay soft. Not that I’m not enjoying myself, I’m just focusing on pleasuring my partner. He’ll come inside me, and then I cum while fingering my sloppy hole.

My dick is irrelevant during sex, so soft is definitely better - and my boyfriend knows I’m focusing on his cock in my ass if I don’t have an erection myself

Tops, which is hotter: limp or hard dick?

r/TopsAndBottoms

73hup0

It's a bit flattering when he's rock hard the whole time but I actually like it at about half hard, big semi flopping around is so fun.

As a top with dom tendencies, soft bottoms kinda drive me wild

I am sometimes at half mast and drooling precum when I am going down on a guy, but rarely hard. It's not about submission to me, but when I am in bottom mode, I want to focus on feeling your cock in me. If my cock is being stimulated at that time, it's just distracting.

If you want the ultimate submission of a bottom, why not a locked cock in chastity? Nothing else says "only my cock matters" than that. :)

I'm a masculine tall, 6'3", white guy in good shape. Total bottom actually...when I'm bottoming my dick is almost always soft. Any tops into that?

Bottoms, how do you stay hard while getting fucked?

r/TopsAndBottoms

khx09f

I don't nor do I want to.

I’d like to know how to stay limp? I’m always hard when I bottom

I don’t either, I’m normally hard first if I’ve been making out with my boyfriend or sucking him first, but when I’m being fucked it varies - if I’m riding him I get hard, but usually he’s giving he a long hard pounding, and I’m normally focusing so much on my ass that I get soft.... It doesn’t really bother me either way, as my dick is normally in a jockstrap and doesn’t get touched during sex. Even if I get soft while I’m being ploughed, I’m generally hard again after sex when we’re cuddling....

I'm usually not hard, all my concentration is on the dick fucking me. And....I think that is awesome. If I get hard while being fucked it's because the top is playing with my cock and I am super close to cumming. I do love a top that times my orgasm with his, though to be honest, that is super hard to do when I get my way and still want to swallow his load.

I don’t. I’m in chastity.

How to not loose an erection while bottoming

r/TopsAndBottoms

nqbzmg

It isn't a choice for most bottoms. Many will never get hard while bottoming regardless of their desires to be erect. There's a lot going on down there the bottom, sometimes the sensations and pressures just mean the body isn't going to allow an erection or maybe one that comes and goes throughout. I wouldn't venture a percentage but a great many of the bottoms I've been with were not able to sustain an erection, or at least a strong erection, while being fucked.

Just don’t worry about it, I’m normally soft while my boyfriend is pounding me, I get hard when I’m sucking him, and when we’re cuddling after he’s finished in me.... just enjoy the fuck, at the end of the day it’s your bum that matters not your dick!

I've never been able to stay hard when I'm getting fucked. I'm good during foreplay, but once a man is inside me, I'm like a wet noodle just oozing precum. My regulars seem to like it. I still cum, just from what they're doing inside me. :D

My dad stays hard or semi hard for hours, idk how he does it. He’s a big ol beefy guy, muscle whore type of guy with a big cock. He gets so aroused being used and fucked by a bunch of different guys, his fat cock bounces around, and leaks like a sieve. He never touches his cock or let’s anyone touch it but he gets fucked by lots of guys, and has multiple hands free orgasms

I personally don't get hard while bottoming, I still feel pleasure regardless but I don't feel the need to be hard. I do jerk myself when the top has a big dick because my hole is tiny and there's slight pain. Jerking it drowns it a bit.

bottoms, is it normal not to be hard when getting fucked?

r/TopsAndBottoms

nru4qb

This entry from our FAQ page is relevant: [A Limp (flaccid\) Dick During Sex!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TopsAndBottoms/wiki/faq#wiki_a_limp_.28flaccid.29_dick_during_sex.21)

I’m hard right until he starts opening me with his cock! He can shove his fingers or tongue in there, and I stay rock hard! The second his cock starts making its way in, I go limp. If he’s fucking me really hard or rough, then usually I’ll get hard again from my cock bouncing around

I am not hard when I get fucked. Its still amazing. More amazing for me psychologically. But Ik some guys get hard during.

I can’t really get hard when I’m being fucked but I’ll cum over an over handsfree

As long as you’re legitimately enjoying it then you’re fine. I’m only hard in some positions, and only fully hard in a handful, and some just don’t do anything for my dick. I still had a good time fucking him though and he did too so that’s all that matters.

Tops, how often do you fuck your bottoms?

r/TopsAndBottoms

l0lqyp

In a relationship, I like to discuss that with my bottom. In my last relationship, we used to fuck like rabbits. Full penetrative sex 2-3 times a week. Him giving me BJ and me giving him a rim job almost every day of the week.

[deleted]

Me and my boyfriend are now together for 8 months and I bottom almost 5x a week for him. I always asked myself if that‘s normal because I just can‘t believe that there are bottoms that can do it that often. In my case that‘s possible because of my strict vegan diet and some added foods that benefit bottoming such as psyllium husks etc. and the fact that I just really enjoy it :) And why should the frequency be discussed beforehand??? I mean to each their own but we didn‘t. IF I need to douche and it takes more than 5 minutes I usually pass and tell him it‘s not gonna happen haha so usually not a lot of preparation. I really hope you get more comments on this post because I would love to hear what others relationships and experiences are like :)

I usually fuck my boyfriend 5 times a week. When we first moved in together, we talked about how often he wanted it because douching used to be an ordeal for him that could take up to an hour. Back then it was no more than once every other day. A few months ago he figured out a way to speed it up a ton, so here we are. I have a second partner that I stay with a couple nights a week as well and he likes to get it once at night and again when we wake up ;)

My top husband, once or twice a day. Cums two to three times until he is satisfied

Face down, ass up. How do I touch my cock while being fucked?

r/TopsAndBottoms

lau9k0

For the first 90% of the fuck duration i don't touch my dick. I don't have anal orgasm etc, but i like being fucked without having to focus on my own cock. Sometimes the fuck is enough and i don't need to cum, other times. Esp. If i start jacking off during the fuck, I can just jack off one my top is done. Hosting my top in my ass comes with responsibility ;)

When I get fucked, I don't really aim to cum or jack off. Just getting fucked is very satisfying.

Actually, this is my preferred position. I just love it when I am totally pinned down by the top. It gets me more hard and horny, when my dick is pressed on the floor or bed, while the top is on my back.

In many positions I find it clumsy to play with your own dick, I rather enjoy the bottoming experience. Only when I cum or need to cum faster I touch my dick, but I prefer if the top does that as well.

Too focused on getting dicked to worry about jerking off. Im either spreading my ass, or holding onto edge of bed or pillows.

Do other bottoms convulse from pleasure when you get fucked?

r/TopsAndBottoms

l9mrtw

Not every time but it happens more often than not. When he hits just the right spot at just the right rythm, OMG!!

Personally when I bottom no, and I can't say I've ever had a guy do this on me. But it does seem fairly common looking on this sub, and I've definitely seen a good amount of porn fairly similar. When I bottom, it is definitely quite a mix of emotions and feelings. Usually I end up kind of getting lost in my head. I can totally see someone else receiving those same feelings and expressing it physically. Not weird

When I’m *really* turned on, it happens. Not sure exactly what it is, but if the Man hits my walls just right, I’ll convulse and “hump” involuntarily. 99% of the time it’s followed by an analgasm. Sometimes it’s strong enough that I complete empty my bladder.

I lose complete control sometimes when being fucked. And ill beg him to finish because once I cum a few times my ass and dick become so sensitive.

Yes! I cum when getting fucked, tighten up on the man's shaft, and my body shakes like I'm a vibrator. It's so hot!

What are your favorite lubes?

r/TopsAndBottoms

kwryoa

Xlube is a safer alternative to Jlube. I prefer 9x6 silicone lube for most play. It's expensive but in a category of it's own when it comes to purity, effectiveness, and lack of staining. I don't care for Gun Oil's silicone formula but their water based one is nice. Gun Oil H20. It has no glycerin which many brands use and which irritates a lot of guys when used for anal.

I just discovered silicone lube as I was having trouble finding a good water based lube, bought it completely by accident. Never going back. Watch the safety for condoms though.

Paloqueth, water based. It's cheap and it has done wonders for me (my ass is sensitive to some lubes).

My favourite for sex and jerking off is JO H2O, followed by Gun Oil and Elbow Grease

Spit and cum.

Is water-based or silicone-based lube better for sex with condoms?

r/TopsAndBottoms

iyhx2g

Silicone lasts longer. Water based doesnt stain.

Silicone is the best lube for condoms. Completely safe with ALL condom types. It is most often the lube used on pre-lubed condoms. Water based is second best and perfectly fine. Do not use any oil based product with condoms of any sort. Latex or non-latex. (Most non-latex condoms are made of polyisoprene which, just like latex, becomes brittle and prone to micro tears and breakage when used with oils.) So no oils be they coconut, olive, baby oil, vaseline, etc.

silicon is awesome. water based is good but tends to dry out.

Silicone is my favorite for masturbation and sex and non-silicone toys. It doesnt dry out, and while it does make a mess it's not too bad and you probably have a towel down anyway. Water lube dries out quickly and is generally worse, but you can use with silicone toys and theres no clean up.

I use Fuck water, a Hybrid water-silicone. Won't use anything else.

Has your top's condom ever broke? Ever had a condom go "missing"?

r/TopsAndBottoms

je3tud

Not after a few days. It would have come out after your next 'movement' or would have already fallen out. Are you on prep though? Have you got PEP?

If it was still inside, it would have left your body by the next time you used the bathroom. More important is if he purposely broke or ripped it mid fuck, and making sure you are safe from STDs. Also, it's a condom. It's not ideal but it shouldn't be specifically toxic to your body if a piece or two broke off.

When they tear, they often shred to pieces if you keep fucking. Even a couple thrusts will do it. Easy to do before you notice. I've had a few tear on me as top over the years. Don't worry, you would have passed anything if anything was left.

A piece of it came off? I would think it would just tear, allowing his load in you, but no piece of condom. Sounds weird

The first guy I was with had a broken condom the first 3 times we had sex…after taking his load 3 times, I let him go bareback. A few months later he told me he tore them on purpose. By then, I didn’t care.

Bottoms, can you feel the difference between a condom vs a raw cock? 1

r/TopsAndBottoms

i6q51n

From both sides, yes you can tell normally. If you're really distracted inexperienced, or just lost in the moment you could miss it. As a top, uncut is all the more obvious for guys in my experiences lol.

More of it is related to how they move, size etc. I prefer raw but won’t do it unless i consistently hook up with someone. I will feel back occasionally to make sure the condom is still on so not a huge difference in sensation.

You can tell the difference, but it’s not so different that you’d for sure notice if you weren’t actively paying attention

there is a difference. you need more lube with a condom (like periodically). it feels better bareback, more natural, goes in with just some spit and my own ass juices. and when i get really wet from his cock it slides so good. plus, the feeling of him throbbing and pulsing when unloading inside is so goood

It’s noticeable but MUCH more so when he cums ;)

Bottoms, can you feel the difference between a condom vs a raw cock? 2

r/TopsAndBottoms

ejbn4i

Absolutely. Regardless of how much lube is used or what condom is used, raw is always much, much easier.

When raw, the dick feels a lot more smoother. With a condom I feel like there's a little bit more resistance.

I had a regular fuck-buddy who insisted he could feel the rubber and didn't like it.

I can't feel a difference. And that's why I went on PreP, so I can protect myself at parties.

Huge difference! There's nothing hotter than taking a cock raw.

How can I become a really good bottom?

r/TopsAndBottoms

f09b0w

I think you are worrying to much and not enjoying being fucked. The more experience you get, the more comfortable you will betaking dick. Remember it's suppose to be fun for you, not anxiety inducing.

Learn what foods agree with you. Once you know this, you can stop worrying about being clean. Learn to take breaths and truly relax (i will literally think to myself “i want this dick” in the moment as if I’m telling my body.) Start with a finger in your ass. If the top isn’t into rimming / fingering, I do it myself. I let it sit there for a second. Then I do two fingers for just a moment When it comes time to take the dick, a big thing for me to learn was that you want to push your hole out the same way as when you’re taking a shit. It seems counterintuitive but it’s crucial. I personally like to climb on top and ease the dick in myself so that I’m in control of how it goes in. Go slowly at first! I’m tight too so, depending on the size of their dick, i may only get an inch in before it hurts and I have them pop out. I then breathe deeply until it doesn’t hurt down there and go again. Sometimes I have to have them pop out again. Maybe even a third time. They wont mind if they’re not psychotic. Then just tell them to go slowly at first as you open up. Pretty soon you’ll be ready for them to start jackhammering you and everyone’s happy!

> "I also clean out but I still feel like I’m not clean enough" If you feel this way you might have some kind of undiagnosed IBS or hemorrhoids or really any number of GI issues that are irritating enough to make bottoming uncomfortable, much less for your power bottom fantasies. I only say this because I am a career power bottom and nothing takes me down more than any kind of GI distress. The difference between having a healthy gut/colon is night and day when it comes to taking dick so just take a good look at your diet and lifestyle, try some exclusions(gluten intolerance is real, even if you're a mild case) you should feel *empty* after douching and if you don't you should investigate why!

99% of being a good bottom is being able to relax and control your mind. In my experience, if I am not comfortable and relaxed, things won’t go well.

If poo comes out, shit happens, one of the things that can happen.

How can bottoms do better? More moaning? Question for tops!

r/TopsAndBottoms

keutjb

Im a strict top >should i moan more? Should i whimper everytime you touch me? Sure. > Should i tighten my sphincter when you enter me? Yes.fuck yes .when im deep inside, i love when a dude squeeze his sphincter/ass. Honestly,Keep us in there. Thats where our dick belongs. >Do you like it when i say 'Stop...' jokingly? I love it, but Just moan when u say it so we know u really want it. I dont want a repe case on me. > How can i make a blowjob feel better? ur on four legs, spread ur ass, lick my dick all around like some candy and act slutty and look at me when ur taking it. >Do you want me to struggle helplessly when you pin me down/ to a wall? Yeah. > Do you like rough kisses on your neck? Yeah but Only if ur mine/bf/husband, and not rough kisses, i want light slutty ones on my neck. When im owning the guy , i personally love giving him rough kisses. Not a hookup. >Do you want me to thank you for cumming on me? God No. I dont know what kind of porn u watch but Its cringy > Do you like it when i cup your face with my hands to kiss you? Sure, why not. >Do you want to be choked by surprise? No, only i get to choke. Im the only one who should be in power throughout the sex. One other thing, i love fuckin a dude in a very small room or place, like in the corner of a small closet. Its hot and fun to see a guy struggle and have no where to go and you end up having animalistic sex where u just fck him like property.

I am also wondering this. Im always worried that next time I hookup with someone my moans or whimpers will sound to fake for them and get turned off by them.

For me??? Just keep squeaky clean down there... trim or shave the hedges... be clear about what limits are... i.e. don’t say no limits then complain it’s too rough... other than that... nothing else is required...

I love men who are vocal with me dude. Who tell me how I feel, when I’m hitting their spot, that you want lots of body contact. I love hearing grunts and moans, but tell me how you’re feeling. One of my exes, if I was pounding his pussy while in doggy he would turn around and say “come here, dude, I need you” and I immediately knew he wanted a deep tongue kiss. I eat that sappy stuff up haha As for what you do with your pussy by making it clench or tighten, what have you dude, I fucking love a receptive pussy. It’s part of the reason I love making dudes cum by hitting their spot. Their pussy spasms around my dick and I love that I’m doing that to him and no one else. I hate dudes who just lie there - sex is like a sport, you gotta participate to have fun. And on that note, let me bite you dude. I grew up sharing with my older brothers, but in a relationship, I mark my bottom and let him mark me when we mate so we know we belong to each other. I ain’t gonna break skin though, that’s too much for me. I’m kinda vanilla As someone who is uncut, blowjobs can get super intense to the point that it is uncomfortable. Play with my entire length, with my foreskin, not just go to town on my dickhead. Also a big thing for me, don’t fucking shave your ass. I love my dude to have a hairy butt. It makes my mouth water, seeing a forest (or prairie) of hair surrounding a pristine, beautiful pussy. I love knowing that I’m feeling the inside of a man’s butt bareback as nature intended

Fellow Bottoms, is there a way to train the anus to take bigger dick?

r/TopsAndBottoms

k7b3sn

Step by step bigger toys. Don’t overestimate.

Experience and working up to it. Getting loosened up and dilated is everything. Keep at it regularly and you'll get there.

Start small friend, you gotta learn to walk before you can run

Use smaller dildo's and then up the size when you're used to it.

👀 I may have started out with a large one, it went fine and all, but I also agree with all the other comments..

What makes a power bottom?

r/TopsAndBottoms

97thqx

Generally that they are in control, dominating the top. Its sorta like femdom for gays(that is an immense over simplification don't use that academically it is the best I can think of right now

Take lead. Command the fucking.

I remember the guy who started sucking me, he did it for a while but then we realized we didn’t have condoms so we were gonna call it quits... then he tell me I can lie down and he can suck me until I come. He does it for a while, but then he uses his saliva to lube up his own ass, climb on top of me. I tried pushing him away a bit but he pinned me down and told me he’d only take the tip of my dick, eventually he was riding me fully until I came and filled his ass.

Tips for a new bottom?

r/TopsAndBottoms

byut78

Hmmm, first you don’t have to be this if it isn’t what you want or need right now. First of all in bdsm the most important thing is talking. Let each other know how things feel for each of you. Without communication things can spiral out of control quite quickly. Anyway, for me it’s a necessity to be in control that makes me a dom bottom. I like use them like my toys. They’re there for my pleasure. So if you can get into that kind of headspace you start getting creative. Like telling him to get his ass on the bed and spread. Then you tie him up! If he’s into humiliation you can say you’re going to put his utterly useless cock to some use. Edge him a bit. Take control of that bastard. Get him close to the edge and just stop. Enjoy his body cues, like how he looks at you when you stop masturbating him. You can see that part of him doesn’t like the feeling to stop. Keep him guessing what’s next. And if he isn’t looking at you, order him to do so! Get what you want, he’s your bitch now! Ride him, use him, that’s what he’s been born for anyway! Once you get the gist, the rest starts flowing naturally. If he’s good and follows your orders call him a good boy, caress his hair. Fuck I’m hard!

https://howtocleanyourass.wordpress.com/

Yea I'm a power bottom myself you need to tie that bitch up Then ride him you can get a lead if you guys like the kinky stuff make sure that there is no way out of that situation Pro tip ride him Evan after he cums show that you want a round 2 or 3 that top will not know what hit him

Make sure this is something that comes to you naturally. If you feel like you can pull this off in terms of being a power bottom just do it, but if you don’t feel confident I wouldn’t recommend it now. I always say just try it, don’t overthink it and see where it takes you. I identify myself as a sub and ... power bottom. It depends of my mood and the guy that fucks me. If I’m in the mood for a guy to use me and my holes as a cum dump I am up for it and I will love every second of it. However sometimes I enjoy being dominating as a bottom and there is nothing hotter that fucking a top and taking control of his dick. I love sitting on a dick, riding it and seeing a top without control being in awe. As a power bottom you need to show the top that you are in charge, that he will fuck you the way you want to fuck him, and a little of humiliation might come to play. The dirty talk can help with that. I once bottomed for a “daddy” type aggressive dom. After a few minutes of sex and having something that was pretty vanilla (nothing wrong with that, but that is nothing I signed up for) I had to do something to get anything from this guy. I slapped his face to make him agro which shocked him and ... completely backfired. He literally crumbled but he completely allowed me to take over his dick and the whole fucking session completely. I felt like his dick belonged to me and looking at this aggressive top becoming my whore was euphoric to me. We both had incredible orgasms because we step out off our comfort zones.

How to Top

r/TopsAndBottoms

jm0q2z

Fingering your bottom for the stretching and lubrication of his asshole. Give him a nice rim job for the foreplay. Ask him what he wants, a rough sex or a vanilla gentle sex and the sex position as well. If you are not confident in your stamina, try the prone bone position, which is probably the most effortless one.

Make sure you’re both lubed up well and take your time when penetrating his hole for the first time. Slowly go in. Make sure he’s enjoying himself. Remind him to take deep breaths and relax his hole for you. Body contact will help him relax. Communication is key to being a great top, wether that’s verbal or body language. Sex is pleasure between a top AND a bottom. So make sure he is enjoying himself. Since you’ve been a bottom, you’ve got a bank of knowledge to draw on when you’re switching from bottom to top. Take that and use it. Also there are only good and great rim jobs, so join the rest of us tops and get in there and go to town on his hole! 👍

Biggest mistake newbies make is a lack of preparation and starting too rough. Just because the tip is in doesbt mean you can be a jackhammer, even if you are a smaller size. Also, easiest positions to start in (and my favorite anyway) are prone bone and missionary.

lube hole. lube dick. put on condom (if you use them). lube dick again. stick in hole.

How can I reach a hands free orgasm?

r/TopsAndBottoms

j1cu21

Jockstrap, chastity cage, really tight underwear. Just put cover yourself in a way that you can't get easy access. Train yourself that touching yourself means all anal activity stops. So if you even barely rub your dick, just stop everything and get up. Over time your hormones will win out and you'll leave yourself alone if you want to get off.

Small / micro chastity devices are the best ever for this IMHO. We bottoms should always be locked while fucked, it's waaay better for both tops and btms.

Dildo or prostate massager is going to be easier

Well just ignore your cock, wear a jockstrap that packs up your dick, squeez it between your legs while you focus on your ass and buy a dildo that gets to your p-spot. Not only big ones but one that works on your but well. If it didn’t work and you are exhausted, don’t touch your dick and Save your horniness for the next time you Play with your ass. If you have problem with the penetration through underwear just wear something tight, like briefs, so your dick doesn’t get confused while walking^^

I use a long toy from squarepeg called the stamen while lying on my stomach. After I get it in, I slowly drag my cock on the towel underneath me, hands free, and slowly move back and forth, allowing the toy to move in and out. The sensation of the bumps on the toy, pressure on the prostate and light teasing of my cock allows me to hold a blissful edge for at least 20-30 minutes. When I'm ready to come, I ride the toy more vigorously, thus dragging/ grinding my cock more until all the cum has been squeezed out. One of my favorite ways to orgasm hands free. Tldr: Use a long toy and drag your cock on a towel till you come, hands free.

Bottoms what is the trick to hands free cumming?

r/TopsAndBottoms

fy36pn

Ive only been able to cum hands free a few times by one person, he knew what he was doing and was the perfect size to make it happen, i suggest different positions, i was able to cum hands free by being on my stomach or by riding him cow girl style

For me it happened on my stomach. And he was just pounding at his own aggressive pace. Things got sensitive at one point but instead of slowing down he just kept going. Lots of lube luckily. My lack of control over his pounding sent me over the edge.

It takes time to learn, but find your “spot” and be sure your partner knows exactly what you need. Then, work that angle and focus. Once you get your rhythm down and are successful, you’ll be able to easier and faster.

It's definitely something I recommend doing solo first. I am also not sure everyone can do it. For me, if the dick is smaller with a little extra girth it's a lot easier than someone big. It pounds the prostate. Also, missionary works best for me, or riding. Also, happens easier in chastity. Not sure why.

I’ve found the angle helps. Going in at a slight angle means more pressure on the prostate. For me, after a while of doing that I start having mini-orgasms. That’s when hard, deep thrusts usually bring it home for me. If I’m riding, I just slam my ass down. Left a guy with some bruising once 😛

Bottoms who cum hands-free, what position is it easiest for you to cum this way?

r/TopsAndBottoms

dujev8

Doggy

Riding. 100% Doggie does nothing for me. If I can't kiss, I won't cum

Depends on the dick for me. If it curves down, doggy. If it curves up, riding cowboy.

Doggy

I've done it once in doggy but it was cuz my dick was rubbing against the sheets and it felt nice so I came without masturbating with my hands but I was kinda cheating lol

How to stop cumming hands free?

r/TopsAndBottoms

l5lufn

lucky you, why stop?

"It's like dying of thirst while watching another man drown" -Krillen

You’re lucky. I wanna cum hands free

Do you have to stop when that happens? Some guys can keep going, some can't once they've orgasmed. If you have to stop, maybe you can work on building up some post-orgasm tolerance by playing with yourself some after you've came. Get a toy and learn to enjoy that aspect until you're ready to go again. If it isn't really a problem for you, maybe use your ejaculate as lube and use that mental image to get back into it with as much enthusiasm as you had prior to orgasm.

This fucking KILLS me, I would give anything to make my boyfriend cum hands free, even if we had to stop right after. It feels like an absolutely amazing achievement when I make it happen (twice ever)

Bottoms - cum without ejaculating?

r/TopsAndBottoms

7bwgim

[deleted]

Yes, it's a thing. It is called an anal orgasm. I'm jealous.

This happens to me pretty often when the guy I'm with doesn't share the right amount of chemistry with me. I need a guy to be into the sex to get off, but if the chemistry is lacking though this is the kind of orgasm I get.

prostate orgasm. and I'm jealous. lol.

Yeah, that happens to me too. I sort of think of it like a mis-fire. I mean, it still feels great, but if I don't release at the right moment, it misses the mark, and nothing comes out. It's a thing.

Tops, How’d you feel when your bottom cums hands-free ?

r/TopsAndBottoms

liwniy

When I make my boy cum hands free I feel like I just won the super bowl

Not a top but I've done it once. I'd say shocking is the best word for it and then darkness. It's just such a startle in a good way, and then my head eclipses the room with the explosion of my ego because my dick was that good.

I can only cum hands free only if I'm riding that dick.

I am very proud and satisfied

[deleted]

How can I make my bottom NUT from fucking him?

r/TopsAndBottoms

n18wku

I’ve only cum hands free from when I’m on top riding my bf. But each bottom is different and so is each dick inside every bottom lol

Take it slow and keep hitting the prostate

Maybe try a different position than you have keep trying new things til it works for you guys, each bottom is different

Is the best feeling ever when it's right on the spot and I cum from getting fucked. That being said for me on my side and riding work best.

Prone bone do it for me. Pounding leading me to friction with bed makes it easy. I don't think i have enjoyed a prostate gasm yet

What are my chances of cumming hands free from sex?

r/TopsAndBottoms

nx3nkf

You seem to have a good plan, and you better go through with it or else I’m taking your spot!

I find it much easier to cum handsfree with someone else, as long as you don't get too in your head and he lasts long enough. Have fun!

You seem to be asking about cumming hands-free. Here is our FAQ entry about "[How do I Cum Hands Free?](https://www.reddit.com/r/TopsAndBottoms/wiki/faq#wiki_how_do_i_cum_hands_free.3F)" This is an automated reply. If it's not relevant, just ignore it and wait for some humans to reply to you. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TopsAndBottoms) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Tops, what are some of your techniques for getting your bottoms to cum hands free?

r/TopsAndBottoms

ofh1sp

While in missionary, point your cock toward his belly button and then begin with slow, balls deep strokes making sure you grind against his pelvic floor (rotate your hips), then once he's losing his mind, switch to slamming his ass with short and fast/hard strokes.

For me, when my bottom cums hands free it just seems to happen. I think it’s the whole mood and how hot the scene is and what is going on with my bottom at the time.

sex is more mental than physical, you got to know what he likes and do it, for me i fidn being dominant works really well but not in an agressive or disrespectful manner more like you KNOW hell obey and do what you want because you own him, also positions which hit the prostate work really well and i like to have my hand on his neck, not tight just so he knows i could if i wanted. also dont just stick it in, take your time, tease him

I can only cum hands free when I’m riding the top. That angle hits my prostate perfectly. Once I find that spot, it’s not much longer until I blast a nut onto the headboard.

I manage to make a fair amount of bottoms cum when I fuck them in missionary with their legs on my shoulders. Makes me hit their sweet spot just perfectly. ​ I don't bottom all that much myself, but I can cum handsfree pretty quick from being on top and riding his dick like there's no tomorrow.

Fellow bottoms, how do I get ready for a big dick

r/TopsAndBottoms

l9whd0

Communication is going to be key. Let him know. Some things that can help: 1. Use fingers or a dildo on yourself before. 2. Lube. 3. More lube. 4. Tell him that you haven’t had a dick as big and ask him to help stretch you and relax you using his fingers first. Anal play will be important. 5. Go slow. 6. Ignoring the fact that you are 18, sometimes a drink or two or a little weed can help you relax. I’m not suggesting getting fucked up. 7. Poppers can help if you have them.

A lot of lube and a patient top. When I’m cleaning out, i will always finger and stretch my hole too. The last few months I’ve started using butt plugs, to help loosen up. When the time comes, and the top is getting ready to push in, i have to mentally make myself push out like I’m going to the bathroom. I’ve found that helps me relax and easier for him to slide inside me. My regular fwb likes to finger me too, that always helps.

Make sure he keeps his dick all the way inside of you at the start and leave it there for a bit. This help stretching your inside .

I mostly work my ass after cleaning out to prepare a bit, but i must admit mu first dick i had was 23cm so its a bit easier nowadays

Let him push his dick all the way in really slowly. Take as mich time as you need. When he's balls deep, Let him sit inside of you for a couple minutes. Maybe let him have a bit of friction to stay hard. Your hole will be relaxed and open after a few minutes.

How do you make taking big dicks enjoyable?

r/TopsAndBottoms

8i1jqc

Practice

[deleted]

A top that knows what he’s doing. Takes it slow, reads your body language for comfort or pain, takes time to get you used to it

Trying to relax, get your breathing under control and Lube are the only ways I know of. The guy I'm with gets off on knowing his size hurts me which sucks becuase that makes him harder and more forcefull when he's close. I like it though so its all good.

why dont you try just fucking someone with a normal size dick? bottoms seem to love being ripped open for some weird reason

Best positions for taking a thick 9in dick?

r/TopsAndBottoms

ho5d4a

Doggy

Honestly on my back with my legs up has always been the easiest position for me to take dick until I get used to it and can move to better positions

If you're still getting used to it, you may want to sit or squat down into cowgirl so you can control the initial spread and then start experimenting with positions. I swear it's the best way to approach any cock over 8in.

doggy or sitting on him so you can control the depth.

All four and stomach are great ways to start for me.... or riding! If he has trouble getting in I get on top cause I can get it in lol. But depending on shape and if there is a curve depends on the rest 🤷🏻‍♂️

Should I tell someone before we hook up I have a small dick?

r/TopsAndBottoms

lhelnc

I've been with guys who aren't that big and as long as their dick worked, size didn't really matter at all. Helps to have a nice face also.

This is going to sound terrible because I don’t discriminate against size, but we’re exchanging pics and he didn’t share his dick, but in conversation he thought it was around 8”. Anyway he turns up and things are going well until the big reveal when it was no bigger than around 3”. The meet went downhill from there, not because he had a small dick, but because mentally I was prepared for a good fuck and how he thought that he was anywhere near 8” is beyond me. I just felt he lied to me, not that I’m into shaming small dicks. So I would say be upfront.

I think it depends on how you presented yourself in the initial hookup conversation. If you expresses yourself as a bottom who wants to suck dick or get fucked, you do not need to warn your top that you have a small dick. If you have presented yourself in a top or vers discussion, you may need to give a head’s up.

Depends. If you are bottoming that encounter it won't matter. If it's up in the air, doesn't matter. If you are topping and below 4 inches, I'd mention it. I've never seen a guy walk out because of something like that.

You need to date quality people. They probably won't care about size Edit: If you're concerned you're going to piss someone off: if it's just a hookup app just post dick size in your profile? Otherwise don't mention it at all

Do y’all find it easier to take big, average, or small dicks?

r/TopsAndBottoms

hde07j

I don't know but big dicks give me more pleasure and small dicks are just too painful. No offense meant here. Just my honest opinion.

Did you measure it yourself with a ruler? I am asking this because 12 inches penis length is highly improbable, considering the average 5.5 inches. In fact, there is no known properly documented measured 10 inches length penis. You can check yourself the rarity of a 10 inches dick as well as where your penis’ size fits in the distribution of dick sizes by clicking [here](https://calcsd.netlify.app) . Listen, you can claim the numbers you want, but throwing around such big numbers like they were real only make normal men feel lacking when in reality, they are just fine. Have fun with your question, looking forward to see what people consider small and average...

Honestly, a lot of it has to do with how relaxed the bottom is, how turned on or into the top he is, and basic muscle control. Some days, I just open up easier and can take a guy with little more than his pre-cum, other days I'm as tight as the virgin Mary.

I actually find bigger dicks easier. My ass just kind of gives up instead of fighting it. But I prefer the average, all-purpose, dick that fits nicely in your hand, mouth ***and*** ass.

Big dicks are nice, but can be painful

Sex positions for a short top and tall bottom?

r/TopsAndBottoms

kx4gjh

My partner is 5'4", while I'm 5'11". We are both vers and have been together almost 8 years now. We have never really had any issues when it comes to him topping me. I find we can still do most positions. It's all about finding how you can adjust. Missionary is always easy, no issue there. Doggy can obviously have a height difference issue, however, I lean back more into a "frog" position I guess you could call it, to meet his height. I can still ride on top with no issues. As far as standing while he fucks me, (i.e. up against a wall, in the shower, quickie out while hiking, etc.) I just bend a little at the knees. Another easy one that he loves is me laying prone on my stomach and him on top. For him being a beginning bottom, I would say stick to missionary. Put him on his back, legs up, a pillow or two under his low back to raise his ass for better positioning. And lots of lube! 🤗 Or let him ride on top, that way he has some control. From there, try some other positions and just play around with how you guys can adjust for the height difference. Make it fun. Happy fucking!

You can use all of them. Use pillows, the floor, chairs, the edge of the bed. Get creative!

I'm 6'4" and as a bottom the only real issue I have with shorter tops is, while being fucked doggy or prone position, I can't make out with them, which is a shame because I like kissing while being fucked. Other positions should all be good. The bottom will need to adjust a bit but it's really not a big deal. Personally I find it difficult to get fucked while standing with a short top because I have to bend down a bit and when being fucked I just kind of lose control of my legs and can't stay in the position long haha

Most of my tops have been shorter. They love doggy style.

As a tall bottom (I'm 6' 1") I'm taller thsn most men I meet, even when im not wearing heels 🤭 Really you can do most sex positions other people can, only stand-up sex can be difficult for the tall bottom. It puts a big strain on your thighs when you have to bend right down to get your ass lined up with his dick.

What is the best sex position for a bottom who is taller than the top ?

r/TopsAndBottoms

2sbx2m

I'm just 1m80, but since I had sex with smaller guys I guess I can give input. If we're just talking about prostate gspot, doggy style is the most effective for me, especially if you lower your back while keeping your ass up. Then comes lying on my back and having the top facing me. Riding the top sadly comes last. Also I believe the shape of your boyfriend's dick affects this a lot, obviously. I could not relate that to what I said above tho.

Why do tops like doggystyle?

r/TopsAndBottoms

hku46w

Love the control. Easier to maneuver and get that dick in deep. Also love being able to see him open up for me and give his ass a good hard slap or several. One of my favorite things ever is to lean over him so our bodies are completely pressed together, my arms wrapped around him holding him tight and giving him long deep strokes with my fat cock. Breathing lightly so he can feel my breath on his neck. Whispering in his ear to be a good boy and open up for me and how good his hole feels wrapped around my cock.

I’m obsessed with butts and I love seeing my cock pump in and out of a nice one. Loving seeing an ass presented and offered to me. A different type of intimacy when a bottom trusts you back there to fill them with cock and make them moan

I love being taken from behind. It hits all the right spots for me. Especially if I'm forced onto my stomach with my ass up in the air.

For some reason it’s the best position to make me cum. I love getting my cock as deep as I can. And just holding it there while the bottom relaxes and opens up more for me. Then I keep getting a little deeper and deeper until we’re both so turned on I breed that tight hole wrapped snugly around my thick dick. The best orgasms ever!

I am a bottom and I love missionary. It’s more intimate but can also be more dirty if he wants to slap or spit on me.

Advice on lasting longer since I've been off my antidepressants?

r/TopsAndBottoms

jue9y7

I had the reverse issue, it used to take me forever to cum, SSRIs made the problem worse. When I went off the ADs it was wonderful to be able to cum quickly. I learned how to hold off and last longer by varying the rhythm or stopping thrusting entirely, pulling out and eating ass or sucking him off for a while then going back in. Eventually I found that I could pretty much cum when I wanted to when I was topping. My advice is to fuck your boyfriend as much as possible. If you cum too fast keep playing and go in for Round Two or Three. When I bottom that's my ideal scenario anyway, a multiloaded top.

Have you tried doing kegels? I used to have a similar problem, and doing a set of them twice a day has helped me last longer and control when I cum. You aren’t gonna see results immediately but keeping at it for a couple months made a real difference for me.

Bottoms: multiple or long sessions, how do you do it?

r/TopsAndBottoms

kivc7i

The trick I would do sometimes, is when you start to feel sore, have him fully penetrate you and stay there for a bit. While he’s not moving, squeeze your hole as tight as you can for about 10 seconds, then let go. Do that 2-3 times. Then have him start moving in and out *slowly*. I found that this little trick overrides the soreness, practically making it go away. Also makes things even wetter down there for some reason, which he’ll like anyways. Once he starts moving, you’ll be able to tell when he can pick up the pace again and it won’t be sore

I’m impressed a top could go for 3 hours — usually I have to get at least 2-3 guys involved if I want my hole plowed for that long. And if you’re in the mood and well lubed it shouldn’t hurt. I find a lot of the pain is metal - and might mean you’re not into a particular top or not up for being fucked in that moment. Listen to your body. And enjoy being a hot slutty bottom :)

Being fucked for a long time is quite the experience. I can go for a long period of being fucked constantly. The secret for me is lots of lube and letting go. It’s overwhelming in a good way. Exhausting, but in a good way. The lube makes the chance of being sore much less. To be fair, I don’t know if I can go for three hours straight. But there is a big “yet” to that. I went from only being able to take being fucked for 5 or 10 minutes to now over an hour. If your stamina is there, go for the full 3 hours. If you are still concerned, tell him you are up for the challenge, but the first time through you’ll need some breaks. See what happens. You might get hooked —either on the joy of it or on the challenge.

I’m quite the opposite. I prefer a continuous session if it will be long. If I rest in the middle, I find it more difficult to relax.

My boyfriend and I can last up to two hours but we never tried three straight hours. The secret is whenever I feel tired or sore (hardfucks make me feel tense after a couple of minutes so I feel like I get sore and tired immediately), I tell it to him honestly. Then we'll just cuddle for a while then I'll allow him to slide his dick inside of me in a slow kind of way repeatedly until we both get relaxed again . Long sessions hurt so you have to be honest with him and tell him to take it a little easy if you want to take up to three hours.

Does any bottoms just get off of the thought of sucking an alpha top dick?

r/TopsAndBottoms

lhs8yj

i love jerking off and making myself cum while my boyfriend is in my mouth! especially if he is facefucking me.

i love it. i can suck and worship a cock for hours. okay, well, not hours, but definitely an hour, at least. there are two things about it, one is to show off my skills at sucking and pleasing. knowing that he knows that his pleasure is my ultimate goal and desire, and being successful at it is makes me feel so in touch and true to my nature. i just love to please and to be good at it, whether it be for my boss at work or a student in class, that's my nature. and sucking dick is, like, the ultimate form of pleasing as far as i'm concerned and i have to excel at it. his approval and encouraging response is everything to me. the second thing is feeling like a cared for baby. sucking that dick makes me feel like a baby on a pacifier. as soon as i close my eyes and wrap my mouth around his dick, i escape into a world of calm pleasure, it's like i lose track of time and my entire world becomes his dick in my mouth, like going back inside the womb. gosh, i would love to sleep with a dick in my mouth. that would be amazing.

Oh, all the time! I have such an oral fixation and cum fetish. I just can’t help it.

God yes I think about sucking dick 24/7

Absolutely ❤ Something about having my mouth filled by another man makes me weak 🥵😋

Any advice on being able to last longer as a bottom?

r/TopsAndBottoms

kkct85

I feel like thats a long time to go regardless

I think it's matter of more experience and practice. The more often you do it, the more endurance you'll build over time. Also, don't be afraid to take a break and go back to doing other things for a bit, then back to fucking. That can help you extend a single session quite a while too.

1. Maybe it is the lube you're using, or the condom material. If you are allergic to latex in the condom, it might be irritating you too quickly. Or if the lube doesn't agree with you, e.g. lubes made for vaginal use are too acidic for anal use. Maybe a different lube could help? Or even just reapplying more lube frequently could help. 1. 10-15 minutes is a lot depending on how hard you're going at it. Maybe if he paces himself and slows down a bit you could endure longer? 1. You can always take breaks and switch to sucking, making out, frotting, 69, etc for a while and then switch back to anal when you're food to go. 1. Practice can help 1. Maybe a plug with a joke in it would help to reduce friction and keep you going longer? It would also feel much girthier because of the addition of the plug, and might be pretty exciting/kinky at the same time.

It’s good you’re using a plug. I find the slower you start the longer you can last. You just need to warm your ass up before going to town!

I usually give my top a good blow job before fucking. Sometimes you have to add more lube mid-fuck.

Face to face or from behind?

r/TopsAndBottoms

m43gtx

I prefer to fuck a boy from behind. I like to see his ass while I’m fucking it, and to be able to spank his ass and grab his cheeks while I’m inside him. It’s also a very controlling position, and I love dominating a bottom, showing him who’s boss. I can grab his hair to make him arch his back, I can use my body to press him into the bed/ground, I can put my fingers in his mouth to make him shut up or to remind him who controls his holes. There are a lot of fun things to do to a bottom from behind

I love to be taken from behind, trying to keep my ass arched up as he pounds it down into the mattress.

Prone. On my stomach with his weight on top of me while he grinds his cock into my ass until he dumps his load. Extra points if he whispers dirty thought to me while he's doing it.

Face to face by far! I love watching his face while he lets go inside me.

My boyfriend sometimes fucks me face to face, but mostly he bangs me from behind; I normally get a really hard pounding and it’s definitely hotter from behind

Does Amazon have good butt plugs?

r/TopsAndBottoms

ji9acb

I bought this and used locker, I love it! https://www.amazon.com/Vibrating-Electric-Treediride-Vibration-Stimulation/dp/B07ZCMK6B5

Dildo or butt plug?

r/TopsAndBottoms

in1jl1

When I was younger, I went to a shop and picked up a small/medium sized plug designed to stay in, with the intention of wearing it for short periods while relaxing at home throughout the day. I quickly found myself wiggling around as I sat, enjoying it immensely. By the end of the week that turned into wearing it to work at my retail job (I was a midnight shift Rite Aid cashier back then) and my next pay check I went and bought one a little bigger. I also found it much easier to play with my dildos after playing with the plugs so much.

Use a plug for like 30 mins before you use a dildo

Get a buttplug anal trainer kit it has multiple sizes plugs u can work up in size and loosen you up

Butt plug. I have one and it makes it much easier to use a dildo.

Butt plugs can make stretching a bit easier since you can start with the pointed end. You can also buy [a plug that stays in](https://www.tantusinc.com/products/neo?variant=531303861) to keep you stretched until the event.

Tops: buttplug in a bottom or stretch them out with your cock?

r/TopsAndBottoms

a113bu

I prefer to just ease them into in by starting with just fingering, then moving up to more fingers, then sticking it halfway in, and finally full on anal penetration. It depends on how tight they are. If they’re really tight, maybe a butt plug would be better.

[deleted]

Stretch him out. I prefer guys not be pre-lubed or opened up. I like feeling the stretch and letting us both get accustomed. My favorite thing is to throb my dick and watch the shock and surge of pleasure. The only exception is if its group action and I didn't start him off.

My bottom actually hates toys and fingers. He likes to ride me until he's loose and I love it

I have a thicker than average cock and some guys struggle at first so a bit of pre-loosening is always helpful especially if they're tight.

How important is stretching your sphincter?

r/TopsAndBottoms

7zlr32

For me it depends on experience level. When I first stated having sex, I needed to understand how my body reacted and felt to various things - so I knew my limits and what I wanted to do with a partner. Now, unless I know to expect something new/different, I don’t need to “warm up”. Also, cleaning helps.

Get the inflatable butt plug. They are small to start with but then you can expand them and stretch up

It helps. The first time can be a bit rough if you guys do not prepare properly in the moment. And there’s no harm in practicing a bit to get accustomed to it. Your body will feel more used to it and it’ll start feeling good sooner

Personally I never stretch out. I just get him to go slow at first.

[deleted]

Why being a bottom feels so fulfilling.

r/TopsAndBottoms

keoh1f

Right about everything. When the bottom is in heat and the top is drilling bareback, it is like breeding and mating.

Dude yes to everything you said. I fucking love that you call it mating because that’s what it is man. Nothing beats that feeling of teasing my dude’s pussy with my uncut dickhead, and pushing in while his pussy lips retract my foreskin so that my dickhead only feels the inside of his pussy. Knowing that his pussy was made to milk me, pull me in, with the ultimate goal of having me ejaculate deep inside and coat the inside of his pussy with my sperm is so fulfilling. And dude, trust me, it goes both ways, that a bottom trusts me enough to open his pussy up for me makes me swoon. Like he is giving me the most intimate part of him and that makes me want to be skin to skin with him, to give him the pleasure he deserves and to make his pussy cum while I glide inside him feeling every part of his pussy as I possibly can. And not just that, but also being able to stare into his eyes and have a deep tongue kiss while we share some spit is so fucking hot to me. Being in his mouth and in his butt makes sex so validating for me. Makes me kinda sad I can’t ever get a bottom pregnant, but it will never stop me from trying dude haha

You got a lot of things about it right. I personally love driving a man crazy until he fucks me like he's trying to knock me up as you say. I like having that effect on a man. I like "letting go" and giving away control. I like to be dominated and used for the pleasure of the top. When a top is fucking me I take that as a sign that he is superior and more of a man than me, and it turns me on. There is also that feeling dick gives you that nothing else can fill, that feeling of being full, of having the weight of another man on top of you. Once you experience dick you will always crave it, and there is nothing that can satisfy that craving except for getting fucked again. Dick is insanely addictive.

No to pretty much all of this. You are not a lesser person who gets the gift of being fucked. Sex is between two consenting adults. If you want to play out a sub fantasy then go ahead, but acting like all sex involves a powerful, dominant top and a submissive, begging bottom is gross.

I can only say I love it, my husband is a fantastic lover and I do everything I can to make his pleasure the greatest when he cums...I don't feel lessor or his property, just loved and hot...

BOTTOMS: How long did it take you to be comfortable as a bottom?

r/TopsAndBottoms

g9cwb0

Just a note regarding diet: add some fiber to your diet. Almost every western diet doesn't have enough fiber. You can supplement it easily with psyllium husk powders or something like Metamucil. (I think the one marketed to gay men is BS and overpriced for what it is, "pure".) This will help you when rinsing out so you'll have less tension from worrying about a mess.

I’ve been with my partner for over two years, and it’s only been in the past few months that I have felt truly comfortable. I considered myself a top before him, but once we got together it became clear he was a strict top only lol. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy bottoming before him, or even at the beginning stages of our relationship, but I really struggled with feeling comfortable and relaxed enough to get fucked. I have a history of sexual abuse as a child which probably contributes a lot to that, but now that I’ve gained enough ease and comfort with it, I love it so much. Obviously everyone is different though, and it will vary from person to person. My biggest piece of advice is to get out of your head and into your body. Like others have suggested, taking some sort of fiber supplement definitely helps. I think I’ve had a very small “mess” once or twice, and that’s just bound to happen every now and then. A good top will laugh it off, or won’t pay any mind.

I knew one guy who took about 2 minutes to get comfortable with being fucked. He went from virgin to experienced in just one session. Another one took a few years to get comfortable with it, but that was because he was in denial about his sexuality. He enjoyed being fucked from the very first time, and kept coming back for more - but insisted on doing it in the dark and under the bedclothes. It takes as long as you want it to take.

I mean both are things that can be fixed. Though some guys like hairy bottoms so that's not actually a problem. As for the diet. I suggest benefiber. I've been taking it recently and have noticed 'cleaning up' has been much easier lately.

It took me nearly twelve years and many attempts to be comfortable with my body and being penetrated. As far as messes, again fiber and maybe an enema with just lukewarm tap water before any encounter. I have a hairy hole myself, and have found most guys really love it. YMMV. Don’t give up too fast.

BOTTOMS: When did you realize you were meant to be a bottom?

r/TopsAndBottoms

ldnhzb

Unlike most other bottoms around here, I didn't feel like shoving things up my ass before actually bottoming (I wasn't really interested in anal sex as a virgin). First few times I had sex I was topping, but then started to bottom and stayed that way. I could be physically into the sensation of topping, but I do really prefer being submissive and the psychological position of bottoming and pleasing the other guy as such.

I started playing with my ass when masturbating at quite a young age...

The fact that I picture op screaming throught the thread while other people answer calmly is killing the shit out of me. We need to normalize writing in capital letters

Been playing with my ass since my teenage years. The dildo I bought when I was 21 pretty much solidify it. Can’t get off without something in my ass

Hard to pin point the true "when." Like others I played with my ass before, but I didn't even have sex with another man till I was 32. So I knew I liked it a while back, but it didn't translate into reality until way later. After the first time, where I bottomed, I kinda needed to think on it for a moment. Like where was all this going. Now that these floodgates were broken. But I think by my 3rd or 4th hookup I was firmly planted in the bottom camp, given what I've just done with these guys. I definitely liked being a bottom bitch to another man. And just roughly manhandled while getting fucked in the ass. That was kind of it. The realization was at that point somewhere.

BOTTOMS: At what point did you know for sure you wanted to be a bottom ?

r/TopsAndBottoms

g1x9og

I knew I liked playing with my ass before I knew I liked guys.

Sexual fantasies were always about men fucking me, even in wet dreams. Topping just never interested me, I've done it, but I'd much prefer to take dick rather than give it.

Before my first time, I lubed myself up just in case even though we had not discussed who was going to top or bottom. I didn't really know what would happen when we got together but I had a sense. When we hooked up, he didn't even ask. He just assumed I was the bottom and that was so hot. And after he fucked me, I knew for sure that I'll never want to top. Getting fucked that first time was like discovering a part of me that had been hidden up until then. Being a bottom was always a part of me.

Well honestly I’m so girly and I’m only attracted to such alpha men that it was a no brainer I was gonna be a bottom

Just always got turned on by thinking about dicks

TOPS: Why did you think someone was a bottom when you first saw them?

r/TopsAndBottoms

ih9g6y

The first guy I had sex with said that about me. He approached me at a party with no indication I was gay (I wasn't out), made conversation, and a bit after made his advance on me and took me to his apartment. He never even asked what I was. He just told me I was gonna take his dick that night and that was that

No. I've had total opposite experiences more. Guys who seem like total tops, masc, ""straight'" who end up wanting to bottom. And guys with "the voice", super fashiony, every gay stereotype, who was a Dom top. Never know.

Maybe I’m just hyper sensitive to body language and mannerisms, but I look out for submissive traits in guys. Whether it’s how they talk, what they say, or their body language after the fact.

Yes many times. With age and experience I get better at detecting bottoms. It's a good question tho I have never really thought about putting it to word's on how I know. But it has to do with how the person acts as a man around others that gets my kind racing 😉. In bed I've seen a lot of people who claim to be vers or tops give up and just act like a natural.

There was a younger guy I used to see that you could say this about. Just a absolute Bottom, no question about it.

Why do bottoms get slut shamed while tops get called studs?

r/TopsAndBottoms

iyun7t

Absolutely. It's probably a left over from hetero sexuality, where a promiscuous woman is a slut, but a promiscuous man is a stud. A lot of people struggle to get out of the socially-conditioned mindset that the bottom is the "feminine" role, and apply those same loaded terms. It's definitely *less* of an issue in the gay/bi male community than the hetero community, but it still occurs. I've known guys say things like "I would fuck [X slutty bottom], but I wouldn't date him", and it was because they saw the guy as, basically, a hole to use (which some guys like to be, don't get me wrong!). It was also compounded by the idea that bottoms were more likely to spread AIDs etc. Additionally there are tops who fetishise virgin bottoms, whereas almost no-one fetishes virgin tops in the same way (beyond the "turning a straight top" fantasy). How do we fix it? I think just interrogating our own biases and calling it out when we see it in others.

I personally would love to have men use me so they can be called studs. I will gladly be a slut for any man.

Idc I'm a total bottom slut and I own my sluttiness 😊

Not for me. Everyone’s a slut, regardless of what you’re doing.

I think it's a little more ambiguous for bottoms as there are quite a few who get off on being sluts and who like being told they're sluts and whores.

Dating a guy with a lesser amount of sex drive?

r/TopsAndBottoms

l1i9sz

I think it’s very, very difficult to sustain a relationship like that. Eventually it will lead to resentment and maybe even contempt. Once that happens life will be miserable for both. Sexual compatibility is not the single most important part of a relationship but it can cause major issues when the gap is wide. Things are almost always the best they will ever be in that sense for the first year or two. Typically, again there may be exceptions, the gap will widen after the honeymoon period is over. Are you prepared to live with it as it is now, or worse, for life? If not, start with a deep, serious conversation. Explain the issue. If he is unwilling or unable to change you have an answer. If he says he’ll work on it, have a date in mind (at least a few months) that you will reassess. If he hasn’t made notable changes or efforts by then, you know if isn’t going to happen. If it has improved a bit, give yourself another date and keep track of it. (Maybe a year.) If the effort has continued you’re probably good to assume a real change has been made. If not, same deal as if no change had been made before. Do not try to make something work when you’re not feeling it. It will make you miserable. Don’t cheat. An open relationship or thirds on occasion is an option; but, have the integrity not to cheat. Go read r/deadbedrooms for a while. Look at how miserable people are who ignored the early signs and forced themselves to stay. Don’t be one of those people.

You don't. As annoying as this response may be, this is something you sort out when you start dating someone not years down the line. You've decided that dating this specific person is more important than your sexual compatibility with a romantic partner and it has created this problem for you. I say created because this simply is not an issue in relationships where you are sexually compatible. It only exists in relationships where you don't match. In the future when you date other people, if you just go for the guys who you click with sexually and have a similar drive to, you prevent this problem from even existing in the first place.

Dear submissive bottoms, what are the do's and don't for a fun date with a submissive guy?

r/TopsAndBottoms

kmh2ll

This is tricky. As sub, I don’t like being asked first to do something - just tell me to do things, where to eat, where to go, what to do. However, I do have things that I don’t like doing so you’ll need to know that, too. Tricky.

Communication is very important! Understand each other’s limit (especially what you/he does/doesn’t like)

Not all subs are subs in the same way. Do: Have a conversation about likes and dislikes. Ask him to show you some porn that really turns him on. Don't: Guess

It’s a date so first thing is you make all the decisions like where your going to eat. Ask him what food he dislikes an allergic to anything. Then make your decision. How do you want him to address you? How will address him? Don’t embarrass or humiliate him in public unless he is in to that. My partner and I have 3 way to talk the public the bar and home. It’s nothing when I call him Sir in public but when he calls me boy we do get some looks LOL. If you’re going out to eat try getting a table where you can talk openly so he feels safe answer and coming out to you. Have a great date.

Does any top want to date a bottom that is both submissive in the bedroom and outside of the bedroom?

r/TopsAndBottoms

j9rjyu

Love this! I fantasize about cleaning the house while my top is at work, and I'll have his dinner and favorite drink ready when he gets home. Then he'll sit on the couch and relax, eat, and drink while I orally service him. I'm only allowed to eat dinner once I've swallowed my top's seed and he finishes his meal. Then I need to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen before I make myself a plate. I love being called both a good boy and a good girl, as long as I'm not the "Man", because thats what you are. When we kiss, I'd wrap my arms around your neck while your hands lay gently but firmly on my ass, claiming whats yours. I like when tops hold my ass because thats how I feel protected and secure, and I like how a top will naturally gravitate his hands towards it in a very primal, territorial way. Maybe you could slightly slip the tip of your finger down my pants into my hole. I'll squeal from a bit of pain but it'll only make me feel more submissive, as I know you could really hurt me if you truly wanted but choose not to. Instead, you like to toy with me and show me how much power and dominance you truly have in subtle ways. I would love to rest with my head on your lap while we watch TV, occasionally kissing your crotch because I cant help myself. Then when you're ready you can carry me the bedroom where you'll tell me that its time to get fucked hard and passionate. I'll say yes sir and then you lay me down to mount me. You'll spank my ass and tell me who owns it, and I'll say its you. You'll choke me with your cock, slap me when I gag, and ask if your dick is too big for me. I will say yes sir but that will only make your dick harder and I will have to take it balls deep anyway. I could write forever about my fantasies so I think I'm gonna stop here lol

I love being a submissive slut in bed, but I kinda do my own thing outside of sex. One thing is for sure though, I do want you to get me pregnant 💜💜💜

You sound like the perfect man. I would love to get breeded until I got pregnant. And I would love to take on the more motherly role 😍

I don't know man, I'm a bottom but I don't love the idea of being submissive outside the bedroom.

All the things you say in the bedroom sound very very hot. I’m a total bottom and into that. I don’t mind some submissiveness outside the bedroom like letting him take the lead or grab me by the waist etc.

During the dating process is it the top’s job to court the bottom

r/TopsAndBottoms

i5l9k9

No

Oh ya I feel you Am a bottom and I love being treated like this, being wined and dined, buying me gifts, makes me feel very good and appreciative ;), it’ll win you lots of points in my books, probably why they do it However I think it’s important not to become spoiled by this, and tops absolutely deserve to be romanced as well, so jus cuz your a bottom don’t think you don’t need to put effort into showing that you care

No. One of the bonuses of being gay is that heteronormative behaviors can be and often are thrown out the door. Now, if you want that just let people know up front. Some will be into it but many will not.

I'd love for this to happen to, but I know realistically it's not going to happen. Straight guys only really pursue women because it's social convention, and women aren't supposed to be the more forward ones, typically. Bottoms are seen as the more feminine role in the gay community, even though this isnt necessarily true. So social convention would suggest that tops, seen as the more masculine role, would pursue the bottoms. But ultimately, it's two guys, so either shows interest in the other. Or at least that's my opinion

Not necessarily, but I do not mind being spoiled with gifts, dining out, and luxurious trips. Okay yeah that sounds a bit over the top, but in the end as long as he shows he cares about me and does it in the littlest ways. That will make my day! Because it's the little things that make it mean so much.

How do you calm down before a date?

r/TopsAndBottoms

jfqfhw

As an anxious fuck, good luck. Really. It's hard for me, I've gone on two dates and neither time I felt totally comfortable. I think it's important to expect that as well, especially if your date is an anxious person, that their personality on a first date won't be the same as when you're more comfortable with each other. I personally just try to be honest. And be myself. My anxiety was not as bad when I didn't feel I had to "put a face" on. There will be some anxiety regardless tho. Just don't focus on long term stuff or fantacise about being boyfriends, because that WILL make you anxiety worse.

are you nervous cuz you like them? cuz you wanna fuck them? not sure about them? but of different reasons before a date to be anxious. ultimately I remember , I likely wont see them again if I dont like them and wont remember them in year or two, so it doesn't really matter much. just keep in mind that you are just seeing if you are compatible. not deciding on the rest of your life. keep calm and carry on my friend !

Hmmm I'd like to know that, too! I'm in an open relationship, got anxiety disorder since 4 years and unless hooking up with someone literally living around the corner (so it feels safe I could be home within minutes if I wanted), being on the way to a guy can be anything from mildly uncomfortable to a full panick attack - even if I already know the guy!! Really sucks. But I keep hooking up because I don't want to be bogged down by this shit. And after the sex, on my way home I always feel totally calm 🤷‍♂️ Go figure

Hookup or date: I’m always anxious as fuck. Don’t smoke weed before lol cuz it will just make you more anxious. I’d suggest a shot of tequila or just remember that the other person is just as nervous as you lol.

Remember that he is just a human being, just like you; if you’re afraid to have so safety issues - some mase gun in your pocket should make you feel calm lol

When is the right time to say you are kinky and a sadist and have dom-sub fantasies while dating?

r/TopsAndBottoms

jia919

If its a requirement for you to enjoy the relationship/Sex you need to state that in your Bio, or at least \*before* the first date. >they think I am a sex pervert The only people who think you're a pervert would be prudes, and you're not going to want to date them anyways. >I have wasted both of our time. This is the key point. Even messaging with somebody is a waste of their time if you're not going to be interested in them without Kink. let them cum to you. *good luck.~*

Well is it a requirement to dating you? If it is, by the third meeting. Most guys will do a little exploring in this area, but wont too often. Collars for sure, a lot of guys would find that hot. And most would at least try chastity for a little bit. If you want it as a 24/7 thing and make it the nature of the relationship, you need to be upfront becsuse otherwise you will waste a lot of time

After the first fuck you might get an idea if how they are from how to response to things that you've done in the act. Then after you could say, hey I'm actually into a lot of kink stuff - let me know when you're comfortable to talk about that more. He may open right up.

I think everything should start about as basic as sex can get before you know if you want to try a kink out with a partner. Run the bases and all that. I guess if someones advertising what you want, that's the best way to dive head first into a specific dynamic, but I think it's good if that person can fuck you good enough.

It really depends on what kind of kinkcter you are. Painting with an overly broad brush, we can be put into two major categories. Those that ***need*** the kink and those that ***like*** the kink. If you ***need*** the kink to be happy in your relationship, just stick to Recon or put it in your profile. If you just ***like*** the kink and it's a spice that you enjoy once in a while, show him that you are good at vanilla sex first then introduce notion of BDSM. Optionally, only date vanilla guys who are ok with open relationships and get your kink on the side.

When is the right time to bring up your kinks while dating?

r/TopsAndBottoms

jul4d7

Personally, I would bring it up when someone messages you, and you’ve chatted for a bit. Don’t post it on your profile, because like you’ve said it’ll attract weirdos. Just gently guide the conversation towards kinks, or if you’re feeling confident you could bring it up in a matter of fact way as a kind of disclaimer (eg. saying that if they aren’t okay with that then there isn’t much point getting to know each other). Just act confident really. You shouldn’t be ashamed of your kinkiness. You’ll find the right person eventually x

It depends. If you ***need*** the kink to get off or ***need*** to have that kind of sex more than 50% of time. Bring it up immediately. Put it in your profile and don't bother trying to meet guys on anything other than the kink sites like Recon. Don't bother with Grindr or (lol) Tinder. If the kink is just something you enjoy, then introduce it when the topic of "what are you into" comes up. >If I write them on my dating profile, I only get people who are interested in sex and not relationships. Yeah... exactly... but if you click during a scene, you might ***end up*** in a relationship. I had ***no intention*** of starting an LTR when I started dating my partner but we've been together for over 10 years now and the sex remains fantastic... and frequent... because he and I are both really well matched in the kink department.

Maybe after chatting for a bit or on a second or third date. Just steer the conversation there a bit. The context and tone you take is everything. Convey it in a totally disarmed manner. If they’re open to it, they’re not gonna think you’re a weirdo

depends if theyre dealbreakers like - if you want your sub to drink your piss, you might forewarn them so youre both not disappointed later on

Sounds fun

Couples with strict top/bottom roles who have gotten married, what was your wedding like?

r/TopsAndBottoms

j8wbkq

It was at a courthouse and we signed some papers.

The way we have sex had nothing to do with our big ass awesome party

I saw this in the sub FAQ and was curious but since there's not a lot of responses I'll answer. Short version: Why would your preferred sex position have any impact on your wedding? It's not like you're gonna fuck on stage in front of all your family. Long version: You're gay there's no rulebook. Do what you want. There were a few things we weren't sure how to handle because of this. We had an outdoor wedding with an aisle and all that. We had groomsmen and "groomsmaids" though they weren't all boy/girl pairs, our parents, a ring bearer and flower girl For the procession everyone stated above walked in first, then me and my husband walked in last together. For one neither of us are religious, so we didn't want a religious ceremony but we didn't want it to seem alien to our religious families. We ended up using a traditional Catholic wedding structure but removed most of the religious elements. We replaced bible readings and sermons with literature quotes, and a reading from the gay marriage supreme court ruling and had our readers make short speeches. We had a close cousin officiate (we got legally married prior to all this so she didn't need to be ordained) We had mother son dances and had our dads, the maid of honor, and best man give speeches. We did all the normal stuff, first dance, cake cutting, dollar dance. We both threw small bouquets and left in a black car to a romantic weekend getaway. All in all it was a wonderful night

we are getting married next year (fingers crossed!) - we are doing the marriage bit ourselves in the morning and then just having a big party in the evening for everyone

Does any top want to date a bottom that is both submissive in the bedroom and outside of the bedroom?

r/TopsAndBottoms

j9rjyu

Love this! I fantasize about cleaning the house while my top is at work, and I'll have his dinner and favorite drink ready when he gets home. Then he'll sit on the couch and relax, eat, and drink while I orally service him. I'm only allowed to eat dinner once I've swallowed my top's seed and he finishes his meal. Then I need to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen before I make myself a plate. I love being called both a good boy and a good girl, as long as I'm not the "Man", because thats what you are. When we kiss, I'd wrap my arms around your neck while your hands lay gently but firmly on my ass, claiming whats yours. I like when tops hold my ass because thats how I feel protected and secure, and I like how a top will naturally gravitate his hands towards it in a very primal, territorial way. Maybe you could slightly slip the tip of your finger down my pants into my hole. I'll squeal from a bit of pain but it'll only make me feel more submissive, as I know you could really hurt me if you truly wanted but choose not to. Instead, you like to toy with me and show me how much power and dominance you truly have in subtle ways. I would love to rest with my head on your lap while we watch TV, occasionally kissing your crotch because I cant help myself. Then when you're ready you can carry me the bedroom where you'll tell me that its time to get fucked hard and passionate. I'll say yes sir and then you lay me down to mount me. You'll spank my ass and tell me who owns it, and I'll say its you. You'll choke me with your cock, slap me when I gag, and ask if your dick is too big for me. I will say yes sir but that will only make your dick harder and I will have to take it balls deep anyway. I could write forever about my fantasies so I think I'm gonna stop here lol

I love being a submissive slut in bed, but I kinda do my own thing outside of sex. One thing is for sure though, I do want you to get me pregnant 💜💜💜

You sound like the perfect man. I would love to get breeded until I got pregnant. And I would love to take on the more motherly role 😍

I don't know man, I'm a bottom but I don't love the idea of being submissive outside the bedroom.

All the things you say in the bedroom sound very very hot. I’m a total bottom and into that. I don’t mind some submissiveness outside the bedroom like letting him take the lead or grab me by the waist etc.

Have you ever had a long term relationship with someone you weren’t sexually compatible with?

r/TopsAndBottoms

8axm6z

Yeah, I'd break it off with him in my perspective.

I don't know how you made it 6 years. I get not being *into* stuff, but not being willing to *try* something with a new partner and being willing to *compromise* is a massive red flag. That's a one-sided situation with one person calling all the shots, neglecting their lover's needs/desires for selfish reasons.. I'm sorry things didn't work out. Communication, respect, and trust are the pillars of any relationship... and that requires *honesty*. It's best to just be open about everything early on so people don't get led on. It's a shame it didn't work out since I'm sure he was great and all, but I'm glad you learned your lesson.

I think sexual compatibility is not binary (have it or you don't) it's a scale. And how compatible you are can change because people's preferences can change. Your post title says "Have you ever had a long term relationship with someone you weren’t sexually compatible with?" but in your post you don't actually ask any other questions, so maybe you're just sharing? Which is fine too of course :-) To answer your question: of course. You have to be lucky to find someone who is, to a strong degree, sexually compatible with you, and stays that way too. At the same time: you've stayed with him for 6 years, so the relationship must've had numerous pros too, to counterbalance the low degree of sexual compatability. Which is also fine, sex is "just" one part of a relationship. How important it is for you depends on you. Relationships are living things, they change. Enjoy your current one! xx

In one now. About the same amount of time sexless too. We opened.

Thanks for sharing. My heart goes out to you! No decent sex for 6 years? That’s a Guinness record. I learned that TRUE sexual compatibility is my non-negotiable from a similar experience with my ex. I went a year without my then partner making me cum. I was attracted to him for HIM, however he was never able to take me “there” sexually. The romance and affection was high, and I thought that would be enough to overshadow the lack of sex, but boy was I wrong. We eventually compromised by allowing an open relationship. This only seemed to make things worse. Jealousy, resentment, and inadequacy all surfaced. I broke things off while I still could.

Tops: What makes for great nudes from a bottom?

r/TopsAndBottoms

l2foxh

I love a picture over the bottoms shoulder showing their back and their ass cheeks. My favorite way to fuck is putting my bottom on his stomach, so I can pound him while I play with his ass and control him; so I like to see what I’m going to see when I’m fucking him. I also love to see a hole pic but that’s definitely secondary. Seeing the tight little hole that I’m going to ravage really gets me going, but the cheeks are the most important. And most importantly, as a dom top, if I say I want a specific picture, take that specific picture, a bottom following instructions and being a good submissive gets me rock hard

[deleted]

Bottom here. I've come to love sharing the "on all fours, cheeks spread, hole exposed" pic -- and I didn't think I would. The reaction from 99% of the younger tops that are in to older sub bears is that it sends them through the roof with positive comments. Now, I don't hold back from sharing it. I often even send it before specifically asked, in the first metal exchange of sex related pics. I really never thought I'd do that either. lol

When he looks cute and submissive, maybe a little pose or something. I hate pics that look like a mugshot.

It feels like the person sending them is sincerely enjoying doing so. I still have fond memories of my FWB playing with themselves, they had the right angle and got the money shot within the frame so I really could enjoy every aspect of it.

Bottoms, do you usually get asked for dick pics? Do you regularly take dick pics and send them out?

r/TopsAndBottoms

kl8t1y

You're hot AF, hands down, no contest. You've said your penis isn't a good size, in previous posts and what's the point in showing if you're strictly a bottom? First off, your penis isn't small, and second, even though you would not be using it during sex, seeing it during, would definitely turn me on, whether you leave it be or play with it a little--youre extremely sexy all over and your penis is no exception. Just my opinion, sorry If it doesn't help much.

Most gay guys are into dick. They may not be into penetration with them, thus being tops. The idea that tops aren’t attracted to dick is completely foreign to most in my experience. It’s really prevalent in this subreddit that tops don’t like to suck dick or don’t like to get the bottom off. That has never been my experience and all the info I can find tells me that the ignore the cock at all cost tops are a small but vocal minority. So I think it’s natural for a partner of any role to want to see front and back of a potential hookup.

Bottom here. In my case, all the guys I've been with had asked for a dick pic. I don't think that's irrational though cause even though they were tops, they still gave me blowjobs and stroked my dick during sex. Tops like dicks too.

Yes. But once I showed my dick pic to them, I don’t think they care that much.

Some tops are in to dicks. They want to see the bottom excited. They might want to suck cock. They may like the idea that they are fucking big dicked bottoms — or small dicked ones. They may just want to see the whole package of you, both sides. Dom tops are (mostly) different. I don’t remember a dom top ever asking for a dick pick. A full nude? Yes. A hole pic? Yes. But a stand alone dick pic? Not really. I don’t even keep those one click away anymore. It just doesn’t seem to factor in to their calculus.

How do I take better nudes?

r/TopsAndBottoms

cjqaeq

It's all about that lighting! Find a good spot in your place and wait for the sun to get that warm orange glow as it starts to set. Then go for contrasts! Take pics from an angle, not head on. Use a tripod for posing.

Low angles, close in to enhance the intimacy, to make yourself more inviting. Don't worry about cutting off parts of your body. Pull up some of your full body shots and crop them, you'll see. Take shots of what the dick's attached to as well.

Let someone else take the pics.

it's really difficult to take nice booty pictures. not sure how girls freaking do it.

Also important to prep yourself. Give yourself about 15 minutes from stripping before taking your first shot, give the marks from clothing seams time to fade.

Good site for Doms and Subs?

r/TopsAndBottoms

koed4u

Scruff might be a better option. There's always Recon and FetLife.

I'm curious about this as well actually

You can try Doublelist, depending on your area. I’ve had luck on it. It’s trying to be a Craigslist replacement. This is honestly a problem since Collarspace became mostly dead

Try Silverdaddies

Recon.