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Bringing up threeway fantasy with your top?

r/TopsAndBottoms

jm5pvk

"Hey, what do you think about us having a threesome?"

There shouldn't be anything threatening about sharing your fantasies. I'm a top but I badly wanted to have a 3way with a guy I was having a 2-year fling with. When I mentioned my fantasy I could tell he didn't want to share me with someone else so that was that.

Maybe start by asking him about the time he did it and what didn’t work for him that time and how it could’ve been done differently for him to enjoy it. Then tell him what you’d expect from such an experience. Also was it with 2 tops and a bottom or him as the top and two bottoms? I think a scenario that may turn him off is if the top you invite is super dominante and fucks you really hard in front of him. This may be weird for your boyfriend and maybe even a bit emasculating for him if he sees another guy do this to you. I think only ankther Dom top would appreciate that (and you said your boyfriend isn’t quite so into these roles) So if you do it maybe look for someone more like your boyfriend, or someone who is even less dominant . And then you can always work up to a more dom/sub situation next time.

How do you guys arrange an orgy? Advice?

r/TopsAndBottoms

k7w3mh

my first advice would be to wait for this pandemic to be over Otherwise, it's easier to arrange it with guys who you already know. With random guys from grindr it's always hard to arrange something. It's probably easier to just spontaneously invite them over when you already got some friends over. In the end, you can't really influence the dynamic and when people break into groups that's just how it is. As a host, your priority should be that everyone's comfortable and having fun.

Lots of friends or post on sites. If you go cruising or do hookups, you need to start handing out business cards with your contact info on it. Build up a network and go from there. It takes time and is work. I had 1 gangbang. My steady set it up. So I got lucky.

I never had those problems. First thing: stop sorting people into "tops" and "bottoms". If you have an equal number of tops and bottoms, then you're guaranteeing that men will match up in pairs: one fucker and one fuckee. Also, what about men who aren't into fucking or don't feel like fucking on the night? Just invite sex-positive *men*. It doesn't matter whether they're top, bottom, versatile, or side - just as long as they're into the idea of sex fun with a group of strangers. Not all sex fun will involve fucking. Another hint: invite more men than you need. Even after they say "yes", some men won't turn up on the day. I found about one-third of men said "yes" and then didn't show up. Invite men you know, rather than strangers off apps. Invite your friends, your friends with benefits, your fuck-buddies, etc. And then ask some of them (the ones who you think have good judgement) to bring another man with them, to get the numbers up. If you want men to change partners, then you can force this to happen by changing your own partner. You move on to another small group, leaving your partner alone. He'll also join another small group. That'll change the dynamic of those small groups, and maybe another man will leave those small groups and move on to other groups, like a chain reaction. Any time men look like they're too settled, you get up and change groups.

Post something on Recon

I hope you are not those who were caught by the police in Belgium. 😅

TOPS - How do you feel when couples hit you up on Grindr?

r/TopsAndBottoms

kmp4gl

When I was on Grindr: I felt good and admired. Didn't do anything with them as I didn't (and still don't) want to be the third wheel. When I don't enjoy it, the others won't either and then it's best for them to really get the ones, who are enjoying the time.

I’ve been the third guy in one too many “open” relationships to take that risk again. I mean, three hot fuck buddies fucking like bunnies in heat? Sure! But an actual couple asking for me to join? No, not me. ...or asking me to bang one out, the other just watching? Double no! Thanks for the flattery, but I don’t get off on anyone’s non-participation or worse, humiliation. To each their own though. I’m not judging. Just saying I can’t get into that.

I've had 3-ways with couples a few times and it's less exciting than it sounds on paper. For me, it's always been spontaneous when we were all out together and hanging out afterwards or something. I've been hit up by couples on Grindr but never gone through with meeting them although I was intrigued a few times. Pros: if they're in love with each other, it's hot to see and be part of that energy. Cons: you usually end up feeling like a third wheel or novelty toy; even if you don't mind, it's kind of an awkward vibe. I would definitely be less interested if the setup is just that one wants to watch. That literally feels like being a human dildo. There are plenty of people into that but I'm not so much. I don't know if there's anything in particular that would make me more interested. It would just depend on the couple, the dynamic/situation, and how it came about. To me, it's more hot if there's a good connection between everyone and it happens naturally. Being hit up on Grindr without knowing the couple is definitely less appealing in general.

They better be two bottoms or im not interested.

I would be flattered, but if something is to happen, then I would like to discuss everything through, I won't just jump into the bed without any discussion or warning as to what they want or expect.

Should I cancel my PrEP appointment this week? What’s the point if I don’t hook up?

r/TopsAndBottoms

gfoo52

I would keep the appointment and discuss everything you just said here with your doctor. It’s an office visit and a set of labs. You’re in and out in an hour. Wear a mask and wash your hands.

My GP basically told me to stop taking Prep until this is over. Unless I ignore the lock down. Which would be a different problem.

Just beware of those sudden unplanned moments. What if some gorgeous man turns up and offers you a fuck? If you've got condoms handy for those moments, you should be fine.

No you should go just to ensure you maintain the right levels of prep in your body. Also to keep your records accurate.

If you don’t take PrEP consistently then don’t take it at all. It’s one of those few things in life that really is black and white. There’s no half assing this.

When did you last use a condom for sex?

r/TopsAndBottoms

etkyu1

Um. Imma still use condoms. Have you not heard of Super Gonorrhea? Its Superbug strength Gonorrhea, resistant to most antibiotics.

Yesterday

Yesterday

I am on prep, but i still use condoms with strangers

All the same get tested regularly specially if the person isn't a known partner. As /u/master-of-none mentions there are other pretty serious STI that you could get. Prep is great but whether it's worth the risk or not is your decision

Do you PrEP?

r/TopsAndBottoms

6aocqi

[deleted]

Yes - been on PrEP for a year or so. It's part of controlling risk to myself and my partners

Not on Prep yet, but thinking about it. Too many wild Friday nights end up on tequila and then a trip to the sauna / bath house. On the grindr issue, so many guys say they want bb, as they are on prep, but you ask for a pic of the receipt / bottle as proof and you get instantly blocked.

I don't have enough sex for prep. Once every year, maybe every other year. Always with a condom. If I did, I would.

Yep! Going on three years now. No adverse side effects, and TBH the quarterly testing and annual check-ups have gotten me way more face-time with a doctor for other health issues that I would have tried to tough out by myself. I have gotten other STDs twice in that three year period, but nothing a quick shot won't cure. I started PrEP in a clinical trial for a year, but now get it through Rx. I don't have sex with a ton of people (in a relationship where we occasionally bring in other dudes or other couples), but the freedom to play without that paralyzing fear of HIV is great. Edit to clarify: both times I caught something it was found with a throat swab. And who the hell wears condoms for bjs anyways?

Barebackers: how often do you get STDs? Could you give me an honest testimonial?

r/TopsAndBottoms

ccomyi

I go bare more often than not. I’ve gotten an STI 4 times in 7 years. Those were all gonorrhea or chlamydia, and were cured by a nice round of antibiotics or an injection.

I also prefer bare. I'm thirty and stopped counting how many guys I've been with at age 19 (when I had been with 50 guys). I've had 4 STDs since age 17, all were caught while asymptomatic (caught early with zero symptoms and treated) with the exception of HPV when I was 18 (small wart that was burned off and have had no issues since). Get tested regularly. Don't bareback just anyone. Stay away from the parTy-ers. Get on prep. Have honest conversations with your partners and your medical professionals.

I love bareback, not a fan of condoms though I will wear them if the bottom insists on it, and I'm too horny to just get head. But frequency is hard to measure. I've gone years without getting anything, and once I was unlucky and got gonorrhea twice in a span of 2-3 months. In the past 6ish years, I think I've caught gonorrhea 5 times, potentially 6. It sucks, but as long as you go get it treated soon, discomfort is minimal. I just seem to have shitty luck, I know guys that have way more raw sex than I do and have never caught anything. Though I do live in an area where the CDC is actively worried about so called super-gonorrhea, and higher than average rates of infection. So the number of times I've had is definitely higher than normal. But like others have said, its not about how many people you fuck, its about whether they have STIs or not. If none of them do, you can never catch anything. If all of them do, you have a pretty high chance of catching something eventually. One last point about treatment costs though. If you are ever in the US again and suspect you've caught something, try to find the local LGBT center. Many of them offer free testing, and treatment if you have good reason to suspect you have been exposed to any STIs. If you can't find one nearby that offers that, look for a local (usually county/city ran) health center, they usually offer the same service, even though it might be more limited (eg only available certain days of the week, or at certain hours). But both of them do not require appointments, at least in my experience.

Welp, there goes my interest in BB lol

I've had chlamydia 2x in my life. I rarely use condoms. The first time I was in college (I was very always-condoms at this point) and a guy just stuck it in without asking. The second time was two years ago. I'm 30 now.

Can you get STDs if he didn't finish inside?

r/TopsAndBottoms

e4ddvi

You can get them from precum. Go see a doctor, I’d be willing to bet you don’t have anything so shouldn’t freak out, but go get tested. The peace of mind when you get a negative result is amazing. You don’t have to tell the doctor it was w/ a man. You can just say you had sex, and and would like to be tested. You should be able to request all information is sent to you only.

You can get a STD/STI even WITH a condom and just from pubic contact (like pubic lice/genital herpes). Precum and penile secretions can also transfer. The penis and anal walls can also scratch, tear, and bleed mid fuck. Sex period is a risk. Cum isn't the only thing, just a large cause. Are you American? If you are I suggest you visit your local Planned Parenthood or CDC approved testing center where they DO ask if you have sex with men. It's up to you to answer how you want but those people are there to help you with the best of their knowledge. If you lie, say you are straight they might only take your blood, oral swab and have you do a piss test. They will still anal swab you if you request, but they won't pose the option if they assume you are straight. Why examine the ass and swab a person and waste labtime who won't admit to have had anal sex? Help them realize what they should be looking for. https://gettested.cdc.gov

Yes. It's a fact that you can catch something . IMHO consult a physician and weigh out your options so that next time you're aware of your options and consequences. Once you know reliable medical information you can decide how much risk you are willing to take. I tell you this as someone who barebacks very often.

FYI, as long as you are of age, the doctor *cannot legally* share your private health information with your parents. It would be a HIPAA violation and subject her to large fines.

Just talk to the doctor, and be open and honest. I'm not out ether but, going to the doctor and telling him/her honestly what happened is always better. The literally cannot tell anyone. At all. If they do you can sue them. They dont want that.

Has Anyone Caught An STD From Receiving Oral?

r/TopsAndBottoms

ko4f4v

Yes - Gonorrhea.

I get that you’re worried and anxious. The waiting can be excruciating. But my question to you is, does safe oral feel different l? If I understand it correctly, you have to suck on a condom. Or am I mistaken?

What was the first STI/STD you ever got, and how or from whom did you get it?

r/TopsAndBottoms

dsd5z0

Gonorrhea in my throat from sucking off 20+ strangers. Didn’t even know I had it. Just went in for a quick prick & that was it. I’ll be honest, I love topping bare, and I’ve never caught anything.

Crabs, got them when I lost my virginity. Was not fun.

Gonorrhea, hot pilot, bottoming. C'est la vie. Edit: To expand on this, there's a lot of stigma attached to stis that virtually anyone who is sexually active is fairly likely to contract at some point (unless you're sucking dick with condoms or something). As far as I'm concerned, more discussion is always good.

HIV. Got if from bottoming bareback for a fuck buddy who was negative. But in reality, he only thought he was negative. He had been infected since his last test, so he didn't know he had it which made his viral load high and much easier to infect me. That's a good lesson about guys who are negative, and guys who think they are negative. You're only negative if you abstain from sex for 3 months and then get a negative test result. Then as soon as you have sex, your status is unknown. At the time I wish PreP had been around, or the whole undetectable status thing was more talked about. That way I would never have got HIV.

Anyone have experience doing anal after hemorrhoid banding?

r/TopsAndBottoms

e7nvly

What I read online from other gay guys is that it took a few months for all the pain to go away, and another few months to get some nerve endings back. So itll most definitely affect you and you should talk to your doctor about that concern. But it is probably still good to do

First change your diet. Try to eat more cereals and vegetables and less pasta and what comes from it. Take some anastastetich creams to keep it isolate and wash it each time you poop. I use cold water because helps to close the capillaries faster. Take some vaseline, it will help you to keep the ass not sore. (I also use vaseline each time after sex, easy to "heal" ) I had the problem and it took 2 months. But change the diet, eat healthy. Ah chocolate is not good since it make your poop dry. So less possible.

Did My Boyfriend just rape someone?

r/TopsAndBottoms

ckj4xn

This is more a legal distinction I’d imagine. If he forgot in the heat of the moment I wouldn’t say it was ‘malicious.’ Unfortunate, sure. It’s different from a guy pretending to be wearing a condom and then removing it covertly to trick someone. It’s kind of partially on the bottom too to make sure everyone is wrapped up. Again, purposely tricking someone is different. I’m sure he’s just scared his wife is going to find out if he picks something up, which is pretty scummy anyway. If he can’t deal with the reality of cheating in his wife maybe he should just admit who he actually is.

Is your boyfriend to blame? Yes. Whether it was intended or not. It was a mistake, but he should have been more careful. Is it rape? Objectively.,.... Possibly? However if the guy feels like it was rape then you really need to take his feelings and concerns seriously. Even if you don't plan on hooking up again, sit down with him and talk it through. He's probably freaking out. He's angry and likely scared. Don't just walk away. It's a shitty thing to do.

Men that legitimately rape women avoid conviction. I don’t think something like this would go anywhere.

Wax or Shave?

r/TopsAndBottoms

l4woyl

I wax my ass / hole as it makes it super clean for the top.

Shave. I shave everything once every couple weeks. My arms not so much because I don’t have a ton of hair there

I’ve done both. I’m a top, but my body hair grows so sparsely, big hairy bushy balls look oddly out of place on me. I even trim my chest and pits. I blend from neck to knees when I manscape. I always keep a happy trail and little bush above my dick, but trim my balls, dick, and hole extremely close. I used to shave them. I’ve had them waxed. Nowadays I use a rechargeable body groomer because it’s just so damn much easier. The biggest tip I can tell you, no matter the method: *after care!* Find a quality aftershave you like that is non-comedogenic, moisturizing, and long-lasting (to withstand friction throughout the day). Your hair shafts need to be lubricated as they regrow, or else you get ingrown hairs, or they feel like thumbtacks. Moisturize day and night for about four days afterwards, is what I do.

Wax... I really don't like body hair on me besides my armpits and face. Leg hair has started to bother me too as it is getting thicker with age. This pandemic has got me hairier than I have ever been and it kinda is driving me nuts.

IPL

Tops do you shave your crotch? Bottoms do you like a bush crotch or shaved crotch

r/TopsAndBottoms

ds49f5

I'm not opposed to a top having a bush but I do prefer either trimmed or shaved. I've always found it sexier and nice and clean

No. Shaving your pubes is unnecessary, and I wouldn't want to fuck anyone who does. Trimming is fine. Everyone can use a clean up now and again. But shaving makes you look fucking prepubescent. Fur is healthy and manly.

I prefer trimmed. Nothing worse than getting throat fucked and a wild hair goes up my nose and tickles me while I'm trying remind myself to breath.b

Had mine lasered off years ago. Prefer shaved partner.

I like shaved, and I keep my hole at least trimmed if I am expecting a good time. Same for my crotch, although it is shaved at the moment

What's that something you've wanted to try but haven't yet?

r/TopsAndBottoms

6k6aig

Getting whored out by my top in a busy bar or sex club Sucking two cocks at once Wearing a butt plug all day and spending the day in public with my top knowing my ass is getting stretched out

Weekend sex toy to several guys. Sounds so simple, but it's headed off to a cabin in the woods on a Friday afternoon and letting go enough to be three or four guys sex toy for the entire weekend.

Being tied up and used

[deleted]

I want to be the key owner of a boy (I only have access to key. Lock up that cock for as long as I want and see how slutty he gets after a month

What are some of your hookup horror stories?

r/TopsAndBottoms

ka4lrf

Number 1 pet peeve, which is why I avoid uncut guys now. Dudes that want a bj but don’t clean their foreskin and their cock smells terrible. I had a dude with an 8.5” dick and it was the saddest fuck I ever had, he didn’t know how to use it. There was the dude during the snowstorm that I was blowing in his car and he was like “I hope you can make me cum blowing me because girls can’t.” And he came in like a minute.

Go to this guys house to bottom for him. He says to go into the bathroom and change. I was like change into what? He again said go into the bathroom and change. I walk in there and there is a pair of pink panties, a black tennis skirt and a white crop top.

This was a second meeting with a guy. First time was in a coffee shop to get to know each other. He came over to my dorm. But he brought a sandwich with him since he had skipped lunch earlier in the day apparently. He then started to eat it while we chatted about stuff and caught up with each other. After he had finished he began coughing a lot. He said it was because he had a problem with eating too fast and triggering his gag reflex. First red flag He then asked if he could wash out his mouth and brush his teeth. My dorm was in an old building so it had a sink and mirror in the bedroom. After gargling water he proceeded to use MY toothbrush to brush his teeth. Then came back over to my bed and began to kiss me. Could still smell and taste that egg sandwich on his breath btw We make out and then 69 each other. It was fine nothing special. Then he insists on being top, didn’t discuss it before meeting up. I was really annoyed with him by this stage but was horny enough to say yes. This man straight up did not know how to fuck. Didn’t stimulate any areas like the prostate or offer any further foreplay. So it just hurt more than felt good. Eventually he came. I then had to show him where the bus stop was because he got lost when he left. This happened my last year of my undergrad and as a result I have not hooked up with older men since. Might be unfair but that’s being my gut feeling since.This idiot was 33, assuming that his profile was true, and I was 22 at the time. But at least any tops I’ve bottomed for since have been good in t the sack

What is your hottest Story of watching others fuck?

r/TopsAndBottoms

kkpx8n

never seen other fucked but ive seem my friend give a bj to another guy in the car after the club lol

Whats your story of fucking someone you know you shouldn't have?

r/TopsAndBottoms

ivjgqn

Had sex with one of my dads friends when I was 19

We didn't get all the way there, but I flirted with my dad's boss's son at a work social. Could have gone very very poorly.

I used to bottom for a guy who is married (to a girl). Looking back, the sex might've been great, but I sometimes feel guilty thinking I could've ruined his marriage.

I played truth or day, I set myself to get a bet I couldn’t suck off my a guy in under 5 mins .. my dads best friend got to try it and he unloaded it and it’s our secret but he gets head a lot

Whats your hottest getting caught having sex and not stopping story

r/TopsAndBottoms

gl4ceo

When I was in high school my fwb was in full on railing me mode and my step mom walked in as he was breeding me. He told me after while we were cleaning up. I had my head down and didn't see her. It was an awkward breakfast after lol

Met a guy on Grindr and we went to a wooded area to play. He was about 45 and I was probably 21. We went deep into the woods and found a quiet spot. We started making out and eventually after like 15 minutes of swapping head and him playing with my ass, he started fucking me from behind. He was about 6.5inches and thick so my tight ass was getting split. I was moaning too loud so he stuffed my underwear into my mouth to gag me which was so hot. He was fucking my brains out in a leap frog position, jackhammering me with my hands and knees in the dirt. Suddenly two younger guys in their late teens walked up on us and said we were breaking the law. I was on my knees in the dirt with my mouth gagged, panicking. Out of nowhere, the guy pulled out his wallet walks over to them with his pants around his ankles and a condom on his cock and paid them each 20 bucks to scram. I was in shock, I looked them in the eyes as they took the cash and just left us. He went right back to fucking me, harder and faster with every thrust. He stroked my dick as he fucked me, making me eventually shoot my load all over the ground. My orgasm caused my ass to tighten which put him over the edge almost simultaneously. When he was about to cum, he pulled the condom off and shot a huge load all over my ass, his gooey cum dripping down my asscheeks.

I got caught blowing an Arab straight guy by his GF years ago this was. She stormed out all mad and then kept on calling him but he had me back to sucking him by then he didn’t care lol.

I was on the mountain being doggied by my ex. A small winding road below was starting to experience a traffic pile up. People started getting out of their cars to check what was going on. Someone happened to look up, pointed to us, and soon several were looking at us. The pace of his strokes were starting to slow down and he nearly stopped. I told my guy I’d break up with him right now if he stopped so he picked up pace and kept going. A couple of folks flipped out their phones and pointed it towards us. I almost felt like a celebrity that afternoon.

At a house party one time me and two guys snuck off into a bedroom where they proceeded to tag team me. I was on my hands and knees on the bed with one guy pounding my ass from behind while I was sucking the other guys cock when the door opened. In walked a guy that I had a huge crush on at the time but he was in a long term monogamous relationship. He had apparently put his jacket in the room for safe keeping and was getting it to leave. The guy fucking me didn't stop and I didn't stop sucking the other guys cock and the guy getting his jacket did slowly while getting a good show and commented to have fun as he left the room